#am i plural?

[critters-crimson-hollow]

This is the first time I have experienced something this vivid!!

I was just talking with my squish when I remembered I forgot to answer someone else! It's a guy who is from a discord server I am in, and he's younger than me and so he still lives with his parents. He started talking with me for some reason, and I still don't know why me.

I have my own life very full, so it's complicated to always talk with people online (my squish understands it, people on my social medias too). But, when I told him I was sorry and that I was exhausted because I had classes very late, he said: "I understand, you don't like me 😕"

The moment I read that, how many gasps and outrageous reactions I heard inside my head... From the "What the f*ck? Go cry away!" to the "If he thinks he can just try to manipulate you, he's wrong."

There were a lot of reactions that weren't mine. Me, I just thought, "Oh, what..?"

Then, he started misgendering me "for fun," and I just froze until I answered in a way that's not like me. More cold, without punctuations (people with whom I talk know how many exclamation points I put in my messages...)

[throwaway1146]

eugh boy. making a throwaway for this because its an embarrassing question.

i have a little question for the plural community and possibly the schizoaffected community and especially the overlap.

so. i am schizophrenic, but a “weird schizophrenic”. my psychiatrist has been a little baffled but shes an amateur so idk. i, like, regularly experience actual conversations with just. voices. voices that have names for me. that can see what im doing. that know my friends and loved ones. and they feel very, very real.

i have other schizophrenic symptoms ofc. i am no stranger to confusion. but this would explain the heightened amount of forgetfulness, of confusion, of hallucination, of strong mood swings. but it could also be the schizophrenia. which is why i am asking the community.

is this just strong hallucinations? am i making stuff up again? or is this a plural experience?

[wishfuldeity]

why the fuck am i so hyperactive right now hello?

sup gay people in my devices im probably some part of lexi idk.

i have a feeling we might be plural because uhh well *i* dont feel like meowing much if at all and im certainly not acting however i was before sunday and i dont think weed is meant to make you a cat and then a hyperactive possibly butchy uhh woman. (this is so weird usually we're like the most bottom subby freak ever but no i might be the complete opposite?)

unless im just fully unmasked rn but like idk lexis usually way more chill than this. and last night i felt "fully unmasked" and i was a kitty.

like this is enough of what feels like a different personality to validate the possibility of being a system thing maybe.

i think im the most binary of the three(?) so far? like i think im exclusively she/her.

we need names. well i need one.

like lexi is lexi. duh. i think last night could be called kitty or kat or something (one of lexis old names).

i could be Jay? (also an old name)

yes thats a jrwi thing. we're normal about jrwi

not like literally jay ferin kinning but like yk. i like her and i like the name. too bad its kinda masculine but eh idrc. wish i could not be misgendered but it is what it is or smth.

[glimmering-brainfamily]

workin some shit out

me 1: love the shit out of hawaiian shirts and novelty clothing (especially things that look like other things. a handbag that looks like a telephone. i eat that shit up) and BRIGHT colours. i like my hair dyed and cut into a moehawk. giant chunky black boots. i had some sort of internal identifiers earlier but i forgot lmao

me 2: big fan of gentle browns and greens. the classic turtleneck-and-blazer combo is a fashion staple I really appreciate. maybe a tasteful necklace to go with it. I'll have my hair natural and cut neatly into the short back and sides. I really like the name Rowan, which was going to be the name of a Tulpa I failed to generate a couple of years ago. the failure was primarily due to a lack of ability to apply consistent focus on the same thing for an extended period of time. Maybe it wasn't a failure though.

me ???: witch stuff. all of me likes witchy aesthetics. I'm always flip-flopping on how much I believe in any of it, but the pentacle items of jewelry I own are important to me no matter what mood I'm in. even if its not real magic is important to me

[heavymetalvi]

I don't always cry at 330am, but when. I do, it's to the episode Faces of Star Trek Voyager.

[tscs-plural-advocacy-blog]

Based on my pinned post, do you think it is possible I am plural or am I just dealing with something else? I really can't tell and it freaks me out.

The whole "alternate versions of me" really sounds a lot like what Ranger called us before our syscovery so it definitely sounds like it could be plurality, I'd also recommend doing some research on median systems since certain parts of your pinned give more median than multiple vibes.

Overall it definitely sounds like you're plural in our opinion.

[mewos-laptop]

Y'all being friends w/ plurals is so fucking funny /pos

Bc tell me why I can be talking to the host, and then out of fucking nowhere Vanny from FNAF pops out and goes "Lmao the children emerge from the holes" and then just fucking dips

I sit down w/ my friend and then they turn into a completely DIFFERENT person right before my eyes and we just continue talking like nothing happens

For fucks sake, I get a front row seat to hosts complaining abt the other people inhabiting their brain like they're annoying roommates in a cramped air BNB

Shout-out to my plural friends. I know if no one's got me, Junko Enoshima from Danganronpa's got me. /Ref /silly

(Positive/affectionate post made by a singlet who loves its plural friends very much /p)

[tavgr0ss]

being a system is so funny like. oh something really shitty happened. well time to not know who i am for like a week lol!!!!!!

[daydream-the-demon]

"Are you single?"

No actually I'm plural.

[critters-crimson-hollow]

Hey, everyone! I just wanted to share my own experience about potential plurality. It's gonna be a loooong post, sorry!!

I'm not gonna talk about my childhood, firstly because I don't remember it, and secondly because it's not that important (I just know it caused C-PTSD). But, it's important to say that I was very lonely in middle school, and so the presence of my imaginary friend started being stronger. Let me explain who this imaginary friend is:

His name is Rex, and he is a black wolf. I was obsessed with wolves for years since I was a little child, and his presence soothed me.

So, when I was 11 years old, I felt him with me. He talked to me, reassured me, and even gave me advice! Since I knew he was in my head, I imagined him beside me to make me feel less lonely. Sometimes, I felt more wolfish during the moments Rex felt I was in danger. So, my mood and behaviors changed a lot since Rex took control of my body sometimes. From a cute, shy little girl (I'm a trans guy, but I didn't know back then), I became a cold and mature person, even more so around guys.

For other children, I was a freak, and even more so since it happened that I talked out loud with him. Even when I had a friend, he was still here, and Rex didn't like this friend. He was right. Years later, I understood she used me for her own needs, and so I stopped talking to her suddenly, and she just didn't care. Rex told me not to answer her anymore, and I listened. I started having new friends in high school, and so I talked with Rex, and I asked him to leave me now because I needed to be normal, and a normal person doesn't have an imaginary friend, right? After that, I stopped hearing from him.

But, I could still feel his presence. He was here. Sometimes, I acted more coldly like him, yet I tried to hide it. But, it happened that some words left my lips, and they weren't my thoughts. Anyway, I forced myself not to see that, and I forgot about him.

Huge time skip! I am now 22 years old. I discovered I was fictionkin and therian months ago, and I have a kintype that is different from others. He transformed me each time I "kinshift," making my behavior and mind change completely. From being introverted, I became extroverted. From being interested, I became annoyed. I like philosophy and cleaning, I become bored with them and even hate them. Besides this strange kintype, I also act more childish sometimes. (These childish behaviors were always here, yet I had to grow up as they became less present outside) I don't talk, I am shy and scared easily, and I hug my plushies while watching children's movies. I can't control anything, and if I try to stop those shifts from happening, I end up having a huge headache.

And one day, I thought maybe I was plural. It's important to know that I discovered DID and OSDD when I was 19 years old and that I discovered plurality a few months ago. All the things I explained happened before I knew these terms. When I thought that maybe this kin was, in reality, a headmate, I suddenly remembered Rex. His name, his appearance, and his voice. And, I used my tarot to maybe communicate with him, and the cards I pulled were so representative, telling me that I should listen to my inner voices. And then I said his name out loud, and a huge feeling of relief and sadness invaded my heart. I wanted to cry, but it wasn't my emotions. It was Rex's. At least, this is how I understood it. 

I often "dissociated", even in high school (my mood switched so much I thought I had BPD!), and it still happens. I don't hear voices, but I do feel they want to say something. But sometimes, I'm surprised by my thoughts. Like, in a philosophy class I was enjoying, I heard, "Oh, it's so boring..." and then someone replied, "No, it's interesting." When I "dissociate", I remember everything or, if it was because of a negative trigger, my memories are blurry. When I "dissociate", it's like my vision becomes blurry and narrowed, I can't focus on anything, and after a few minutes of zoning out, I often feel different. Like I'm someone else.

This is how I feel, and this is why I think I might be plural. I'm not self-diagnosing myself. (I will wait for my appointment with the psychiatrist in February to get one.) But, for now, I can't deny that it's a huge possibility. Even if I'm not diagnosed with anything, in the end, my feelings are still valid. And as much as I am scared that I might fake it, I remember that I don't fake because faking means you know you are faking, and so I would actually be mistaken. But, with all that, can I have mistaken anything?

What makes people sure they are plural? Do they overthink as much as I do? Do I need to wait a bit more to see if I have more "strange experiences" to say I am plural? I don't think I am creating those symptoms since they have been here for years now.

Sorry for the long post, I'm not even sure if someone will read it, hehe. But if you do, thank you, and feel free to share your thoughts with me ^^

[luxlitemidnight]

Knowing a fictive in another system very closely but not knowing their source is like "I know Sam Winchester and he has even trusted me with some of his personal secrets but tbh I have absolutely no clue what you're going on about I've never watched Supernatural."

[thearchivesystem]

Haven't seen a version like this but I think about it a lot

[ID: a tweet by caranthirs which has been edited to read, "holding up a fictional guy like well you aren't exactly a system but you do have dissociation and identity issues which is close enough". End ID]

[sovereignsystem]

《 "We want weirder systems" yall can't even handle endo systems 》

FUCK RIGHT OFFFFF

YOU AREN'T WEIRDER SYSTEMS BECAUSE YOU. AREN'T. SYSTEMS!!!

-🌀 (It/Noc/Loop/8/Spi)

[millportisntreal]

Nora are you trying to murder us

[possessed-pack]

Okay but will there actually come a day where anti-endos stop being ableist while also accusing others of being ableist? You can't preach that you're "protecting victims" while also sitting there being all "endos/those who support them are delusional!!". Psychosis is not your tool for hate, and psychotic people are no lesser than anyone else and do not deserve to be used to discredit other peoples experiences that you simply don't understand. Traumagenic DID systems who support endos exist, but you hate those too--what happened to protecting "actual trauma survivors"? You are not protecting disabled people, you are using them as a tool to explain your hatred for things you don't care to understand.

[69constellationsinatrenchcoat]

I have the kind of DID where people don't fully notice it beyond 'little' inconsistencies in my personality, religious expression, preferences, pain tolerance etc until I tell them I have DID

And then there's a pause (and sometimes an explanation of what DID is)

Followed by "oh my god, that makes so much sense"