#am i okay? ... actually I'm trying to be okay now

[klm-zoflorr]

Okay so uh. I was wondering about what the fuck this is caused by and nobody had answers?? And OOP is not explaining why this is so obvious because of secret fast food place knowledge probably. But anyways here's what i got from my google searches and detective work on the mysteries of cooking appliances (please correct me i am certain of nothing)

First off, oil starts a fire when its too hot. The temperature this actually happens at depends on the type of oil you have, it's pretty high temperatures but you should be careful about not getting it too hot. Especially if your pan is small: small pan means less oil means it heats up quicker, that's why OOP mentionned that.

Now the first latke didn't catch fire. But for the second one I think the oil had simply gotten hotter as time passed. Which brings us to the problem.

So apparently frozen food in oil isn't a problem in an of itself, it's just that:

-frozen food usually has little droplets of ice on it, which when plunged into hot oil turn into steam, which project droplets of boiling oil everywhere, which can burn you and set something else on fire also. But I don't think that's what happened here.

-frozen food takes up a lot of place in a pan, because of the water expanding when turning into ice. Also the pan was like, small. So what I think happened was that the pan was too small, the oil was getting hot, the latke being dropped in made a pocket of oil between it and the bottom of the pan, it got very hot very quick cause it was very thin, and it caught fire. And the frozen food didn't really make it colder, because it was food and it transmits heat less easily than a liquid like the rest of the oil

Anyways in conclusion i'm never ever going to try deep frying stuff and also we all need to buy a food thermometer

[penny-anna]

travelling home after christmas today

checking my tickets this morning to make sure everything is in order. realise i somehow booked a 2-stage journey with a change at Doncaster rather than a direct ticket.

aw fuck. :(

report this to my sister who suggests trains might not be running as usual. assure her that it's definitely my fault

arrive at station. my train is at 13:03. there is also a direct Edinburgh train at 13:00. longingly watch the direct train depart. :(

my train is somehow running 5 minutes late in spite of starting at King's Cross?? wym you're running late. you haven't been anywhere.

anyway this is a problem bcos i only have 11 minutes to change at Doncaster.

train also doesn't start boarding until maybe 2 minutes before scheduled departure. there are around 200 people trying to board. we are not leaving at 13:08.

finally leave at around quarter past. yeah i am not making this connection. i didn't have a seat reserved so no great loss.

notice that the app now says my connecting train is delayed due to 'overcrowding'. ehh i don't think i want to get that train anyway.

the connecting train isn't delayed enough for my to catch it. phew, i think, bullet dodged!!

the next train to Edinburgh arrives. it was also delayed leaving Kings Cross for the same unclear reasons as my original train. it's booked solid but the screen says there are seats available in coach C so off i go.

attempt to board the train. the vestibule is so full of people that im honestly not sure i can fit.

manage to fit. oh fuck. oh this is not a good train to be on.

various people are scouting out coach C in seach of seats and come back without. decide to make a trip myself as they were a couple and i'm a lone traveller so might have more success.

i have my big rucksack on + an extra bag so im just barging my way through there. there's people standing in the aisle. way unpassable.

return to the vestibule.

someone has left a very large buggy in the vestibule, unfolded, seemingly abandoned, unbelievably in the way.

someone suggests that we could fold the buggy. everyone agrees this is a good idea but no-one is the buggy's owner.

i ask if anyone knows who the buggy belongs to and someone points to a woman halfway down the carriage, beyond a bunch more standing people.

people are needing to get through to the bathroom. attempt to put myself on the other side of the buggy to clear a path. almost get stuck bcos w all my bags i am just so so large.

manage to get to the other side of the buggy and take off my backpack so i'm not taking up so much space. add my backpack to the luggage piled in front of the luggage rack.

someone returns from the adjoining vestibule with news of more space for luggage, suggests we move the buggy

collectively manage to get the buggy's owner over. she tells us she is travelling alone with 5 children. now feel kind of bad about being annoyed by the buggy.

buggy is too wide to go to the next vestibule without being folded. she say she can't fold it because it's got bags in it and there's nowhere to put the bags.

it's pointed out that she can put the bags in the other luggage rack where there is (apparently) more space. the buggy is removed and we all have space to actually move around.

my rucksack is at constant risk of fallling off the luggage pile and it's on the other side of the carriage door so not much i can do. another passenger is kindly keeping it in place for me.

also a problem w standing on long haul trains is that they are just not designed for it so there's nowhere to hold on and i almost fall into people several times.

okay we are coming up on York. maybe, i think optimistically, a bunch of people will get off at York (it's a big station) and things will improve

ohh god things do not improve

more people pile into the vestibule including a couple with a very large suitcase and a baby

suitcase has nowhere to go except the middle of the corridor. couple debate whether they should just get off the train and find alternative transport. woman says (reasonably) that she doesn't want to stand holding the baby for 3 hours to Edinburgh.

before they can come to a conclusion the train leaves

predictably the vestibule is now home to a crying baby

a man comes out of the coach w a bag from the buffet service. asks politely if he can get through so he can go back to his seat.

oh we are SO sorry but you are going to be here a while :(

manage to get my rucksack properly onto the luggage rack :)

after a while the man w the buffet car bag says that at the next station he's going to get off the train and back on at the next entrance in hope of getting back to his seat

we wish him godspeed. he gets off the train. never see him again. i hope he made it.

we are now not far from Durham. very large man w a very large bag comes through, smacks everyone with his bag, and then almost dislodges my backpack taking his suitcase out from underneath it

announces confidently which side the train doors will open on.

ok we have a shot here. on my previous recce i noticed a whole group of seats marked reserved to Durham. tell myself that i must act swiftly and decisively when we get to Durham.

by this point im having significant foot pains from too much train standing.

we arrive at Durham. the big group mentioned leaves and then a reshuffle commences

family of 5 kids mentioned previously (remember them??) are moving to take over the vacated table. observing events it looks like there's going to be 1 free seat left.

there's 2 people closer to the seat and i can't just barge past them BUT they are together. ask if one of them wants the seat.

they do not want the seat!!

move swiftly & decisively to take the seat.

it is covered and i mean covered in popcorn but i will take what i can get at this stage.

from beneath the seats me and some other helpul passengers retrieve a dropped pair of gloves, a hat and a toy Sonic the Hedgehog which we return to their owners.

finally sit.

take off coat put in eye drops begin drinking delicious 7up i've been carrying since kings cross etc.

at the next stop the person in the other seat leaves and am joined by another of the group from the vestibule. we sit and quietly read our books :3

[thoughtfulfiction]

The Game Plan

Author’s note: Merry Christmas Bolt fam🩵Still working on rewrites but I needed to write something new to get inspired. I am done with school so I’ll hopefully be able to get fics out more often!

Last time he was this nervous, he stood on shaky legs in front of a New York crowd accepting the William V. Campbell trophy. Public speaking wasn’t his favorite thing in the world and he hated talking about himself. But this was about a hundred times more important. And more nerve wracking.

When Justin suggested flying to your hometown to spend some time with your parents, you didn’t bat an eye. You’d been talking about making a trip back home after the season was over and were elated to discover that he was on the same page. Now that the time had come and you were looking at him as he drove the rental car to your family home, you couldn't help but think maybe he was regretting his decision. The man was constantly fidgeting in his seat, his grip on the steering wheel tight, eyes full of stress and semi concern.

"You okay?" You furrowed your eyebrows at him, urging your boyfriend to let you in on whatever was causing him such turmoil.

"What? Oh yeah no, I'm fine." He knew that sounded less than convincing. "It's just weird with the season being over. Almost like I have to learn how to relax again. This week will be good though."

Nodding in understanding, you place a hand on his leg hoping that the simple touch will ease his mind. Little did you know he was in the midst of a huge inner crisis. Justin rehearsed what he was going to say a few more times before pulling into your parent's driveway. Swallowing down his nerves, he grabbed your suitcase and his, walking toward the front door feeling like his legs weighed a ton each.

Your mom had already taken you away to the kitchen by the time he walked in, immediately lost in conversation about work and life while your dad grabbed one of the bags out of Justin's hands. The two men trudged up the stairs to drop off the bags, exchanging pleasantries and getting settled in before heading to the backyard to cook. Your dad loved Justin. He was the perfect partner for you, a perfect mix of fun/exciting and responsible/caring. He had seen you fall more and more in love with the quarterback over the years which made it easy to love him too. And getting to talk about football all day with someone who actually valued such intimate conversations about the sport helped.

All of the distracting small talk was out of the way, Justin had complimented your dad on his new grill and the improvements he'd made on the backyard and they had unpacked some of the nitty gritty details of the season and who your dad thought they should draft as perfect additions to the roster for the next season and the only thing that remained was the pit of nerves in his stomach that hadn't disappeared since boarding the plane.

"Something on your mind?" Your dad was observant, not really one to beat around the bush. He'd noticed a slight edge to Justin's voice since the two of you had arrived and was really trying to wait to give him some time. He'd obviously gotten too impatient. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Justin's had relationships before. Not many times, but he's felt security and love in other people, seeing a future with them and thought about what the rest of his life would look like. Being with you was not only the most serious relationship he'd ever been in but he found himself constantly planning for the future and setting his family up for long-term success, a family that he now couldn't envision without you. He swallowed thickly, suddenly overcome with emotion at the words that he needed to express to your father. "There is something on my mind actually," he clears his throat, trying really hard to maintain eye contact and not look down at the grill. "I wanted to come here first thing to ask you for your permission."

"My...permission?"

"Your permission, your blessing. Either one. Or both." Your boyfriend rambles on nervously, the words tumbling out of his mouth completely out of order and unlike anything he’d just spent time practicing.

Your dad still looks at him, confused. Justin sighs, "I love your daughter more than anything in the world. She’s the greatest thing in my life and I never thought I’d have the opportunity to be with someone so special. Now that I’ve gotten to be with her I don’t ever want to let her go and...it's really important for me to ask you before I propose."

In that moment it all begins to click and your dad nods. Here was one of the most calm and collected quarterbacks in the NFL stumbling over his words out of nerves because he wanted to ask for permission before getting engaged. A man who's build could arguably be compared to ancient Greek deities was a mere mortal when it came to you and it took every ounce of your dad's strength not to crack a smile. "You came all this way to ask me if you can marry my daughter. So you could do this in person?" The younger man nods. "Before I answer, can you promise me one thing?"

"Anything." Justin says without hesitation. He didn't care what he had to do, he just knew he was going to do it no matter what it took.

Your dad looks toward the house, watching you and your mom laughing while getting the sides set on the table. He looks back at Justin, eyes brimming with tears. "She is my greatest treasure. Promise me you will treat her like nothing less than that."

"I will sir, you have my word."

Justin holds out a hand and your dad pulls him in for a hug. "Welcome to the family son," patting him on the back. The quarterback swore he heard a crack in the other man’s voice but said nothing.

You watched the exchange from the kitchen, slightly confused because your dad didn't exactly give out free hugs like they were Halloween candy. "What is happening out there?"

Your mom catches her husband's eye at the end of the hug, seeing him point at his ring finger and trying to contain her excitement. "I'm sure it's nothing," she smiles, handing you another plate to set on the table, "Justin probably asked him if he wants to golf tomorrow. You know he's been trying to get more into it and bringing an NFL quarterback in front of all of his friends is definitely going to boost his confidence." The two of you stood in silence for a bit until you seemed satisfied with that answer and the two men were back inside, immediately distracting you from asking any further questions as conversation flowed as the food and wine were consumed. Justin helped your mom wash the dishes that night, deep in some secret conversation filled with sporadic giggles and all you could think about was how lucky you were to find someone that fit in so seamlessly. Little did you know they were planning a surprise that you'd never forget.

Step one? Find the perfect ring.

"Isabella, I need a favor," Justin takes a seat at the counter next to his sister-in-law. "You need to distract y/n for a couple hours so I can go through her phone."

Placing her own phone down, she looks at him like he's grown another head. "Why in the hell would I do that? Why would YOU do that?” The more she talks the more visibly upset she looks and Justin is severely regretting not being more specific.

“It’s—it’s not what you think. I just—”

She holds up a finger to keep him from explaining himself any more. “I just want you to know that I’m never thought you’d be one of those people and it’s really disappointing.”

He sighs, looking around to make sure that you aren’t walking in any time soon. “I heard you guys talking last week. About how you had a bunch of videos in your Tik Tok likes that helped you plan your wedding. Then she mentioned that she’s been saving some rings that she thinks would look good on her and I need to see those. So I can design the best ring.”

The tension in her body is instantly released and her features are filled with relief. She holds a hand over her mouth to hide a happy squeal before taking a moment to compose herself so she doesn’t give anything away when she sees you. “You’re proposing,” she whispers leaning in close so no one else can hear.

He leans in too, a wide grin on his face. “I’m proposing.”

“I’ll keep her busy,” she promises, giving him a fist bump.

A girls only DIY spa night in gave him the perfect outlet to grabbing your phone. As soon as the cucumber slices were on your eyelids and Isabella gave him the sign, your cellphone was in his hand and he got to work. He screenshotted 13 different ring designs, jotting down some notes in his own phone, looking at various ring styles and the cut that would best match the style that you were looking for. Then he jotted down some local jewelers to visit and design the ring in person, going as far as flying your best friend to Oregon for a few days under false pretenses that she had a work trip in the area and decided to stay at the ranch since it was nicer than a hotel.

Approximately four weeks after his initial meeting with the jeweler, Justin held the velvet box in his hands and admired everyone’s hard work. He’d had a hand in designing every crevice of the ring that looked much smaller in between his fingers as he examined the diamond. Fresh nerves were beginning to set in as the moment became more and more tangible and real. Once he found a secure spot to hide the ring, he moved forward with the next part of his master plan.

Step two? Come up with proposal ideas.

The beautiful thing about the offseason was that you still had to work remotely, so you’d be in your office in one corner of the house and after his morning workout he had all the free time in the world. The bad thing about that was that he had all this free time to sit and think about how he was going to set up an unforgettable proposal. Luckily, some of his receivers had come down for a Nike promo event and to throw so he had people to bounce ideas off of.

“What about this? I take her to Sofi and propose in the middle of the stadium with just the two of us. We have the video board showing monumental moments of our relationship and as she’s watching I just get down on a knee.”

Ladd takes a sip of water, making eye contact with Derius, who says nothing. Justin continues pacing, taking the collective silence as a sign to suggest something else.

“Don’t everyone jump up at once,” he lets out a nervous laugh, wracking his brain. “Maybe I could drive us to Napa Valley with dinner and some music?” That suggestion earned more interaction, some guys nodded, recalling their own proposals and having him take some pointers from their experiences. There was a time where he couldn’t log onto Instagram without seeing one of his teammates getting engaged and the only thing that made him more nervous than proposing was the media circus that would result from the news getting out. Yes, he wanted it to be special and intimate but the thought of the social media team getting their hands on it and invading your privacy was a little scary. Somehow he had to push that thought out of his mind and tackle one problem at a time.

“Private beach proposal in Hawaii?”

Simi stands up at the suggestion, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Sounds beautiful in theory, but aren’t you scared of having the ring so close to the water?”

“Yeah what if you’re so nervous that you drop the box and it’s washed away by the tide,” Ladd notes. “The less distracting things around you the better. Helps you focus on just her.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem, he’s obsessed,” Patrick says, walking by just to chastise his brother. Justin flips him off without uttering a word, an unwavering focus on the task at hand.

Nothing seemed right, some ideas were too flashy, too cheesy. He wanted to show you how much you meant to him, how you’d changed his perspective on life and balancing work and your relationship. That it was possible to do both because the right person brings things out of you that you didn’t even know where there. How do you encompass all of those feelings into one perfect location?

“I’m not gonna lie,” Simi says, voice full of sincerity. “You gotta let the perfect time come to you, you’ll know when the time is right. Trust me.”

Justin had no other choice at this point. He spent the next few weeks holding onto the ring, desperately looking for the right time. Spending all this time stressing and planning and plotting had really taken him away from you. There was an unspoken distance between the two of you and it had become increasingly upsetting. Even when you were in the same room it felt like he was miles away, stuck in his own head, shutting you out completely. You were starting to think that he was looking for a way out and couldn’t decide on a way to let you down easy. The thought of him tip toeing around a breakup made you nauseous.

“Why haven’t you done it yet? You can’t keep putting this off forever,” you heard Mitch say one morning after you came home earlier than expected from an in-person work meeting. Usually you wouldn’t eavesdrop, but Justin’s behavior hadn’t exactly given you a vote of confidence in the state of your relationship. You couldn’t even really remember the last time you went on a date without him looking like he was seconds away from getting sick.

Justin on the other hand had spent every dinner date thinking about whether or not this was the moment. Walking around with the ring in his pocket everywhere he went just in case, deathly afraid of you finding it on accident. That thought alone, of him walking in the house to you holding that ring box not only made him want to cry a little at the ruined surprise but also make him feel like throwing up. And he was tired of hearing everyone and their mom ask him when he was going to pull the trigger and propose.

Especially when he felt like it was happening every single day.

“I’m not putting it off! I just—this is harder than I thought. It’s not just something to check off the to-do list. I gotta do it right or I’m not doing it at all.”

He felt so bad about dumping you that he was putting it off…so he could do it the right way? What even is the right way to end a relationship? You didn’t want to stick around to find out, making your way back outside to sit in your car and think about your next move.

“Justin is planning on dumping me.” You sighed into the phone, calling your best friend.

“What? Where did you get that from?”

You spent the next 20 minutes explaining to her all the signs. His weird behavior, always on his phone but will never let you see what he’s doing or who he’s talking to. You feel like he’s hiding something but he makes sure to only give you minor details saying he’s planning a trip with the guys or talking to his agent about taking on different endorsements. It all just seems too fishy. Why is he torturing you like this by stringing you along? Should you just break up with him first?

“You have to act normal like you don’t suspect anything,” you hear at the other end of the line. Her voice is calm and reassuring which is nice because the last thing you needed to hear was that she didn’t believe you. “If he’s breaking up with you then let him explain him himself. Justin has never been someone to do things without a purpose and you know he’d never do anything knowing that it would hurt you.”

She had a point. “Fine. You’re right, I’ll hear him out and figure it out after I gather all the information. Thank you for talking me off the ledge.”

“You’re welcome.” As soon as you hung up the phone, your friend texted Justin that he should start acting a bit more casual because you were freaking out.

The next evening, he surprised you with a bonfire movie night.

“What’s all this?”

Justin pats the spot on the outdoor couch next to him, welcoming you to take a seat. “An apology? I’m sorry I’ve been off lately. There’s been a lot on my mind and I got so lost in my head that I’ve been neglecting you but that stops today. It had nothing to do with how I feel about you at all, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“Care to share with the class what was bothering you for so long?”

You cuddle into his side, a sense of comfort immediately taking over the constant state of unease that previously surrounded you. Looking up at him, he places a gentle kiss on your lips, so soft it leaves you wanting more. “It doesn’t matter now, all that I care about,” he sneaks another kiss, “is being right here with you.”

“Well in that case,” you whisper, “we should make s’mores.”

Justin laughs, kissing you on the cheek and rising to his feet, helping you up before heading into the kitchen. The tray on the counter was loaded with various snack items, Reese’s cups, pretzels and strawberries along with normal s’more ingredients. As you made your way back to the bonfire and began to dig in, a thought popped into your mind while enjoying the stillness.

“We can’t do things like this in LA. You can’t beat the scenery out there and the background noise of the traffic isn’t exactly the most romantic.”

He looks up at the sky full of stars, remembering exactly why he bought land out here in the first place. “I’ve always thought about raising our future kids here. Los Angeles is where I work but this is home, they can grow up and be normal kids here. Play outside, go fishing, experience a childhood that has lasting memories. Not sitting in traffic for hours and never seeing a real tree.”

“Our kids?”

“Yeah,” he says without hesitation. “I think about Coach getting our son his first pair of khakis.”

You laugh, picturing it in your head, “and he’d probably get our daughter a custom pair of cleats to wear pregame.”

“Exactly,” he throws his head back to laugh at the image of mini versions of you and him being spoiled by his head coach. He grabs another strawberry, dipping it in the melted chocolate and feeding it to you. “How many kids do you want?”

“Let’s say it at the same time.”

He counts down from five, saying “three” at the same time you do.

Looking at each other in shock, you burst into laughter at the fact that you have identical answers despite the fact that you’d never openly spoken about it. You each knew the other wanted children but just didn’t know exactly how many. Justin felt like his heart might burst with an uncomfortable and overwhelming amount of happiness. If it wasn’t clear then, it is now.

There, in that moment, nothing seemed more perfect. He looked down at your hands, spotting the manicure you’d gotten last week before attending a wedding. Simi’s words came flooding back, you’ll know when the time is right.

And that time was right now.

“I’m gonna head inside and grab another water, do you want anything?”

“I think I’m okay. Thank you though,” you barely acknowledged the exchange, wrapped up in finding the perfect movie to watch as you scrolled through all the streaming services. Today, the most simply normal day was about to be extraordinary and his feet couldn’t carry him inside fast enough to grab the ring.

His heart was beating in his ears walking back outside. He clears his throat to get your attention and the look on his face makes you stand. “What happened?”

“I spent so long trying to create the perfect moment. But I just realized that every moment with you is perfect.”

Your voice catches in your throat and you’re forced to speak in a hushed tone. “What are you doing?”

He takes a deep breath, holding the box firmly in his hand. “I love you. You’re the one I want to build a home with, create a family with, grow old with and everything in between that this life has to offer. I’m sorry it took me so long, that I spent so much time trying to capture some picturesque scene that we’ll remember forever. You and I, right here is memorable. Being with you is all I’ve ever need, all I’ll ever need. For the rest of my life.” He opens the box and you audibly gasp, everything in your body tingling and buzzing with excitement. Everything made sense now, his nerves, the secrecy…everything. He was trying to make all of your dreams come true.

Holding your hand in one and the box in the other, he gets down on one knee. “Will you make me the happiest man in the world, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you respond immediately, sounding out of breath while wiping a tear from your eye. “A thousand times yes, of course I’ll marry you!” Sliding the ring that fits exactly like it was tailored to your finger, he stands up and wraps his arms around you, a small tear escaping him.

Justin kisses you, a passionate deep kiss, relieved that everything had gone even better than he’d imagined, pulling you in so close that you can feel his steady heartbeat. His movements were long and slow, a slight grin against your lips as you give into belonging to each other. Lost in paradise he leaned his forehead against yours, both of your eyes still closed in awe that this actually just happened.

“Here’s to a lifetime of perfect moments and sometimes the best plan is no plan. I love you Justin, this is amazing I couldn’t ask for anything more incredible.” You pulled away, opening your eyes to look at your hand. “And this ring? You’re crazy.”

“I am crazy. Crazy about you,” he kisses you on the forehead, running his hand across your fingers. “I love you so much, fiancée.”

[real-isaac-clarke]

1. Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

I personally call myself nonhuman, if I refer to my nonhumanity at all. I only really use alterhuman as an umbrella term for myself; it's not something I awakened to, or have ever felt awkward for. At least right now, I'm not human.

2. What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

Fused-to-armor and living action figure. I just happen to also be Isaac Clarke; less as a type and more of who I inherently am. When I was still forming, one of the materials in the metaphorical headmate printer was an Enderman, so that's why my RIG glows purple.

3. Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

Nope. Depending on the definition one uses, I'm either always in a shift or never in a shift. I'm a non-canon version of Isaac, but I am him, so I act like him.

4. How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

Trying to engage in my old hobbies (welding, wiring, construction, some other general engineering work). Doesn't work well, but I like learning about them when I can.

That, and... Okay, this might sound funny. But I also experience it by being attracted to people who're like Nicole. Just about everyone in the system has a type, and apparently mine is my fiancee.

5. What do you think of the community?

I try not to judge as a whole, you're gonna meet bad apples everywhere. That being said, fuck Therian Territory (not for the reasons you might think either. Those too, but holy shit they're fatphobic. Violently and oppressively so.) If you're alterhuman and fat, go anywhere but there.

6. What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

Knowing I'm not the only Dead Space alterhuman out there. Engaging with my source helps a lot too.

7. Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

Yeah, but on a really low level. This body bothers me; in my source I was fused to my RIG through some... unpleasant but thankfully unintentional events, making me technically part Necromorph. I really want my suit back.

8. What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

Form your own opinions and don't be afraid to be wrong about your types. Practice thinking with your mind and heart together, and don't be afraid to piss some people off - though that's the life advice we'd give in general.

10. Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

It's because I'm part of a system. Everyone who gets introjected in our system usually gets some form of nonhumanity attributed to them.

Fun fact, we don't actually have a host; Marlin is just the default. We belong to the subconscious itself, not any particular alter, and are all whole people, not parts of one.

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hot take about silco x vander that no one asked for

okay so it's 3:25 am and i spent too much time in pinterest comment sections so now i have Thoughts and y'all are gonna hear it (this is mostly spoiler free even for s1 but it won't make much sense unless you've watched arcane so go wATCH IT if you haven't). so there were a bunch of posts shipping Silco and Vander and in the comments people were really pissed coz they're said to think of each other as brothers.

TLDR: They did not grow up as brothers, they think of each other as such, and those thoughts can change over time or evolve without it being incestuous (with nuance), and of course it could stay the same too.

and I have a bunch of things to say, starting with for one, some folks were legitimately confused because they thought silco and vander were biological siblings. so, first off, let's get that clarified, they're definitely not. they weren't adopted or step siblings either. they met in their early adulthood, i believe, in the mines.

i'm gonna continue below the cut coz this is gonna be looooong.

now, the thing is, silco and vander explicitly state that they were each other's brothers and/or call each other brother. why? there could be multiple reasons for that. one, that's how they saw each other. they were as close as brothers and they saw each other as family. two, in the sense of being brothers in arms, fighting together against a common cause that brought them closer. three, they felt affection for each other and that was the closest term they knew to describe it. or something else.

and like, i do not mess with found family, that shit is sacred. if someone told me my brother isn't actually my brother because we didn't grow up together or share blood, i would happily punch them in the throat.

HOWEVER, Silco and Vander are fictional characters. so if someone headcanons that their relationship changed, and evolved, that's not disrespectful or incestuous. it just means the person believes that how they saw each other changed. or maybe they didn't realise how it was that they felt for each other. or any number of other things.

and hey listen when i was a teenager in two of my long-term relationships, i thought at the start that what i felt was platonic love. i'd literally call them my brother. because that was the way i knew to describe the intensity of my affection. i was figuring shit out, and then i realised that what i felt was romantic, and not platonic or familial.

does that make it incestuous? well i fucking hope not. i was a queer greyace teen trying to figure out what the fuck i was feeling.

and that's not even toUCHING the surface of queerplatonic feelings. like i had no vocabulary to describe that for most of my life. it was clearcut in my head--romantic, or platonic. and if platonic was very intense, then sibling. that was the only way i knew how to describe it.

and that's changed over the years and now i know a little bit better how i feel, and i have platonic feelings that aren't siblingy, platonic feelings that are very much siblingy, platonic feelings that aren't siblingy but familial anyway like that for a parent, and romantic feelings also of various shades.

but back then, i didn't have that vocabulary and distinctions and self-awareness. and it's entirely plausible for someone to headcanon that maybe Silco and Vander didn't either. maybe people ship them and hc that they had feelings for each other and didn't understand them, that could be romantic or queerplatonic. or had feelings for each other that were familial, but that evolved in a different way later (or in the AU). both of which ARE LEGITIMATE INTERPRETATIONS OF A FICTIONAL RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT IT BEING INCESTUOUS.

anyway so it's entirely chill if you don't ship them but it's also entirely chill if you do. the issue is when you attack people for interpreting a fictional relationship in their own entirely valid way and call it weird or incestuous and attack them as people for their ship. just let people be sigh.

so that's my unnecessarily intense take at--jesus christ it's nearly 4 am. :)

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

okay...here goes...

(I wish you would write) a modern short au about Violet as a celebrity or princess or something, and Xaden as her bodyguard🤭🤭🫶

Okay I'm cheating a little on this one because I have something like this in my drafts already!! This was actually one of @skyfallscotland's prompt fics in which Lilith was the US President, and after a failed assassination attempt on the campaign trail, she assigns Xaden to be Violet's body guard. For reasons I hope are obvious, I don't want to finish it anymore. However, the first chapter was done in it's entirety by the time I scrapped it, so you can have 2.3k ish words of body guard Xaden!! (below the cut)

When Violet gets a knock on her door, she is not expecting it to have anything to do with her mother. The entire reason she’d gone to college in California was so that anything having to do with her mother would be a country away. And for the most part, it had worked. Her freshman and sophomore years had gone off without a hitch. In her classes that aren’t 99% poli sci majors, she doesn’t even get recognized, and she couldn’t be happier. 

She abandons her spot on the couch, and sets her planner to the side as she stands to answer the door. She doesn’t bother checking the peep hole, because she assumes it’s doordash for Ridoc, or last minute school supplies for Sawyer, or Rhiannon staying very ahead of her Christmas shopping. 

What she sees instead is a man. He’s tall, with dark, wavy hair, and dark skin. His arms—very broad, ridiculously so, some might say—are crossed over his chest— which is also notably broad. He’s squinting at her like he’s scrutinizing something, which is uncalled for, in Violet’s opinion. Maybe she isn’t dressed to impress just yet, but the only thing she’d been planning on impressing was her planner, and it didn’t have eyes, so her combo of old sweatpants she’d cut into shorts and a gigantic tie-dye t-shirt with her school’s name on it had been perfectly appropriate. 

“You just open the door all the way, without knowing who’s outside?” the man demands. He stares at her as does it, unflinching and unyielding. 

Violet, naturally, does both flinch and yield, because she’s entirely confused. She takes a step back, to get a better look at the man, to try and see where on earth he gets his audacity, but she comes up empty. 

“Do I know you?” she retorts, indignant. 

He matches her indignation, card for card. “Do you not have a chain on your door?” 

“Of course I don’t have a chain on my door. This isn’t New York.”

“Do you think crime only happens in New York?” The man demands. “Do you think that none of your mother’s enemies can run a google search and find out where you are?” 

He shouldn’t have brought up her mother. He’d been so hot before he opened his mouth, but even still, he could have saved the whole thing and escaped with his hotness intact if he’d avoided bringing up her mother. 

“Okay,” Violet says, “This was fun. You can go now.” 

She moves to slam the front door shut, but he shoves out an arm, blocking her. 

“See?” he says. “This is why you need a door chain. You can’t keep me out. You’re not strong enough, but metal is.” 

She stares at him for a second, blinks, then decides. 

“Okay. You can leave, and also, fuck you. Who the hell do you think you are?”

He’s still holding her door open, so she cannot make him leave, unless she resorts to something petty like kicking his shins. His arm, outstretched to support the door, looks…enticing. She’ll give him that. He has an enticing arm. Assholes are, technically, allowed to have enticing arms. 

“You know who I am,” he replies. His tone betrays no humor, which is ridiculous, because there’s no way he’s serious. 

“I don’t, actually, or I wouldn't have asked,” she snaps. “Not that I care. You have one more chance to tell me, then you’re going to need to get the fuck out, or I’m going to scream at the top of my lungs, and my two male MMA fighter roommates are going to come out here and kick your ass.” 

Ridoc and Sawyer only took one MMA class as a bonding experience, but Violet knows they’ll at the very least get this man out of the doorway. 

The man studies her with that same analytical look he’d donned when she first opened the door. He looks her up and down, then comes to his conclusion. 

“She didn’t tell you.” 

“Who,” Violet seethes, “is she?”

“Your mother, “ he says, though he’s speaking slowly, thinking as he goes, “She didn’t tell you. She didn’t call you or anything?”

“The last time my mother called me was in the year of our lord two thousand and sixteen, and that was genuinely only because she thought I had been abducted, so no. My mother didn’t call me.”

She pushes against the door with all she has, and still, he doesn’t move. He might have over one hundred pounds on her, though, given his size and his muscle mass. She will definitely have to get creative. There’s a vase on the coffee table Rhiannon won’t miss. 

“I’m your new bodyguard,” the man says. He holds the hand that isn’t holding the door out to her, anticipating a handshake. “Xaden Riorson.” 

Violet stares at him, at his hand, and at him holding out his hand. She says, “No you’re not.” 

“I’m not Xaden Riorson, or I’m not your new bodyguard?” he asks. “Because I'm pretty sure I’m both.” 

“No,” she shakes her head furiously, emphatically. “No to both. You’re neither.” 

He sighs, shoves his hand into his pocket, and emerges with a badge. It has its own little leather case, but the badge itself is shiny and gold, with an eagle at the top and a silver star in the center. 

“Happy now?” he asks, voice dry. 

He’s not just a bodyguard. He's from the secret service. 

“I’m happy that you found your way into a costume shop, but it is that time of year,” Violet says. And she’s right. With the start of August comes a proliferation of Spirit Halloweens. One on every corner, practically. 

“It’s a real badge, Sorrengail.”

She hadn’t told him her last name, and she hates that he already knows it, that he knows her mother. It doesn’t give him any legitimacy, though. He’d said it himself—she’s really only a google search away. 

But, if he’s actually Xaden Riorson, so is he. 

“Hang on,” she says, brain already speeding down this train of thought. “Stay outside, or I will actually commit a crime.” 

She steps back from the door, and he raises his non-braced hand in surrender. He leaves his badge out, and though Violet keeps her eyes on him, he doesn’t move over her line in the sand. 

She finds her phone  abandoned on the couch. She turns it on quickly, and her eyes scan notifications, but there is, of course, nothing from Lilith. Even though it shouldn’t, her heart still sinks. She should know better than to allow hope to thrive where her mother is concerned, but evidently, she doesn’t. 

She opens Safari without checking her other notifications, and types in his supposed name. Xaden Riorson. 

The results are inconclusive. No one, it seems, knows what Xaden Riorson is up to. 

“Give me your driver’s license,” she demands. 

He sighs, irritably, but then he’s digging in his pocket once more, revealing a wallet, and presenting her with his ID. He holds it over the threshold, so she plucks it from his fingers and holds it up in the light. 

It looks real, though Violet’s never been big on fake IDs, because she’s never been big on doing anything she thinks might make her mother think she isn’t perfectly capable of caring for herself. Illegal activities fall squarely on her no-no list. 

The picture matches, though Violet’s almost certain there’s a way to make that happen with fake IDs, too. She thinks she’s supposed to see a line somewhere in the middle of the ID, if it is real, but she’s also not entirely sure that isn’t actually the procedure for counterfeit money, and the longer she holds his ID up to the light without finding said line, the less sure she is of the line’s existence at all. 

Finally, she says, “Hmm.” 

“Hmm?” he presses. 

“Well, I’m starting to think you’re Xaden Riorson, but that makes the secret service thing even less believable,” Violet says. 

“Does it?” His voice is bone-dry, but Violet doesn’t mind. She’ll get to the bottom of this without his help. 

“It does, because the Xaden Riorson I knew of was a senator’s son, and the sons of senators don’t just up and join the secret service.” 

“They don’t?” he asks, still dry as ever. 

“They don’t, because joining the secret service means you’re literally willing to die for the president.” 

“And senator’s sons can’t do that?” 

Other senator’s sons could, Violet thinks, but not Fen Riorson’s son. Fen Riorson had not been just any senator. Last election, Fen Riorson had been her mother’s main opponent, and when Americans went to the polls, they had not picked him. 

He’d died six months after the election, but not before hundreds of articles were written, claiming he wanted to share classified government intelligence with the public, things the people deserved to know, but those in office were too cowardly to tell them. 

His secrets died with him. 

And Violet knows her mother is a lot of things, but she wouldn’t do this. She wouldn’t make the son of her biggest political rival her daughter’s bodyguard. Her daughter doesn’t even have a bodyguard, because her daughter does not need a bodyguard. 

“You can’t,” Violet says. “You, specifically.” 

“Well, unfortunately for you, Sorrengail, I did. What’s it gonna take for you to believe me? Want to see my work email? Want to meet my team?” 

She’s trying and failing to remember how hard it is to fake an email, or a series of emails, but he keeps talking. 

“Of course, I could just call your mom.” 

Her gaze darts to his. “You could call her?” she asks, but then, her brain catches up to her tongue. “Well, there’s AI now. You could fake her voice.”

“God, okay, you can call her and you can ask her three questions only she knows. How’s that? Do we have a deal? Because believe it or not, I have a job to do.”

She does not believe it, because if she does believe it, she is that job. She cannot be his job. 

“Fine!” Violet snaps, “Fine. I’ll call her. Don’t you dare come in.” He sighs that same exasperated sigh, and still, he doesn’t move. Violet moves to her contacts—she hadn’t lied about her mother’s radio silence. She really hasn’t talked to her mother on the phone in eight years. They also don’t text. Most of her communications are through her mother’s Chief of Staff, Colonel Aetos, who still goes by his military title. 

Still, her mother is in her phone under “birth giver” which had felt incredibly edgy when she did it at thirteen, but now makes her tilt her phone closer to herself, in case Xaden sees. 

Her mother’s personal line is secure, and though she doesn’t always carry her phone on her, she’s heard from Mira—who actually makes calls to their mother, when she’s not underwater—that their mother is good at picking up the phone. 

It rings once, and Violet bites her lip. It rings twice, and Violet’s foot begins to tap a thundering beat. 

It rings three times, and her mother’s voice sounds in her ear. 

“Violet?” Lilith asks. 

“Traditionally, “ Violet says, “people answer phone calls with ‘hello’.” 

“Traditionally, you don’t call me,” Lilith retorts. “I thought someone stole your phone.” 

“Nope. I’ve never had anything stolen from me because I am exceedingly competent.” Xaden huffs at this, which Violet cannot understand. She’s making a valid point. “And because of this exceeding competency, I can’t understand why there is a man at my door claiming to be part of the secret service. Can you comprehend this, mother?”

Violet will not be calling her mom.

“Is the man Xaden Riorson, or a member of his team?” Lilith asks. Violet thinks the world is sinking beneath her. She is slipping through the cracks. “Because if that’s the case, then yes. And he’s not claiming anything. Did he not show you his badge?” 

Violet swallows. Her throat is very, very dry. “You can get those badges anywhere.” 

“No you can’t. I have a country to run and an election to win, Violet, so if that’s all you had to say, I need to go.” 

She hasn’t spoken to her mother since her last mandatory Christmas visit. She’d spent the entirety of the summer sweating in California. And still, her mother doesn’t want to talk to her. 

“I don’t need a secret service agent, Mom,” Violet snaps. She feels suddenly sixteen again, when her mother was still her mother. 

“Correct. You don’t need one, you need four.” 

“I do not need four! I have never needed four!” 

Xaden Riorson is watching her start a screaming match with her mother, and Violet knows she should be embarrassed, but she’s too angry. She doesn’t have any energy to spare. 

“Did you hear that I was shot at recently, Violet?” 

“Of course I heard! Not from you, of course, because that would be too much to ask!” 

“Then connect the dots. You’re too intelligent to question me on this. Let Mr. Riorson do his job.” 

“He’s not Mr. Anything! He’s twenty-two!” 

“He is twenty two, which will make his work with you significantly easier on you. He’s also very good at his job. You’ll be safe. I don’t care if you’re angry with me if you’re safe.” 

“That’s ridiculous!” Violet seethes. “You’re being unreasonable! I have kept myself perfectly safe-” 

She is cut off by a beep. Her mother has hung up. Violet stares at the phone in her hand for a moment, then aggressively redials her mother’s number. 

Her mother doesn’t answer. 

Xaden Riorson is still in her doorway. 

“I didn’t quite realize it was like that between you two,” he says, casually, as if he didn’t just witness a sacred portion of Violet’s life imploding in her hands. Her privacy, destroyed. 

[caffedrine]

Yves and Rio - Christmas Special: The Beasts' Drink - Event Translation

Thank you to @otomehoneyybearr for providing the script for this event.

This is a poor attempt at a fan translation, so take everything with a grain of salt. For a better translation, buy this when it comes out on the ENG server.

On a winter day as Christmas approaches, at the Rhodolite Castle—

Yves: “Well, if it were me, I’d invite someone on a date like this.”

Rio: “As expected of you, Prince Yves! How romantic!”

Yves: “Well, it’s just this much, you know.”

Yves: “Though, to be honest, I’ve never actually done it…”

Rio: “It’s so like serious Prince Yves to have multiple heartfelt date plans prepared for the coming day.”

Yves: “Heh, by the time you reach my level, you can have it all perfectly planned in your head without actually going on a date—wait, why am I saying this!?”

Yves: “...Ah, I got surprised and now I'm feeling thirsty.”

Yves: “Hmm, this alcohol you brought is rich in aroma and delicious.”

Rio: “Right? I thought Emma would like it, so I ordered it.”

Yves: “Are you sure it’s okay to give me such important alcohol?”

Rio: “It's fine, I ordered a hundred bottles!”

Yves: “Oh, is that so…”

Rio: “By the way, Prince Yves, how can we make the date day more romantic?”

Rio: “I want to convey all my overflowing feelings, but I’ve been told by various people that it’s ‘too much’.”

Yves: “Hmm... I think adding an element of ‘subtlety’ would be good.”

Yves: “On the day, since you’ll be excited for the date, first compliment their outfit and makeup. Casually, you know?”

Rio: “Being casual is difficult. No matter how hard I try, I just think I’ll be overwhelmed by her cuteness and end up on the ground.”

Yves: “That would be the complete opposite of subtlety.”

Rio: “It might be difficult to compliment casually. Is there anything else?”

Yves: “Hmm, I think giving a small present would be nice too. Something separate from the Christmas present, of course.”

Rio: “A small present! That’s good!”

Rio: “...A light gift apart from the Christmas present… for example, a hundred love letters…”

Yves: “No, wait. I think I heard something strange just now, but that’s too much. That’s not a small gift at all.”

Rio: “Really? I think that's lighter than a thousand letters.”

Yves: “I’m not talking about its physical weight.”

Rio: “By the way, how about the meal on the date day?”

Yves: “Huh? Oh, meals... I recommend reserving a restaurant that isn't too extravagant.”

Yves: “Even if the presentation of the food is flashy, the taste is the most important, after all.”

Rio: “I understand.”

Rio: “Honestly, the sweets that Emma tried to hide because she ‘burned them...’ are tastier than the finest dishes.”

Yves: “I feel like that’s not quite the point... No, but essentially, it might be…”

Yves: “Wait, am I a bit drunk? I’m starting to lose track of what’s right.”

Yves: “Well, whatever, let’s get to the all-important Christmas present!”

Rio: “I’ve been waiting for this!”

Yves: “What matters most is the feeling behind it. It’s about expressing your feelings for the other person through a gift.”

Yves: “So having a large quantity doesn’t necessarily mean—”

Rio: “So, you’re talking about things like gloves to keep their hands warm, right?”

Yves: “That’s too much… Huh?”

Rio: “What?”

Yves: “…It’s not that bad.”

Rio: “Yes.”

Yves: “Sorry, I was wrong. Gloves are a good choice.”

Rio: “I’m glad!”

Yves: “…”

Rio: “…”

Yves: “Why is it that we’re suddenly being so sensible here!”

Rio: “Huh? I thought I was being serious and sensible from the start…”

Yves: “If you think that’s serious, then it’s even worse!”

Yves: “Ah, I knew your love was great, but I didn’t realize it was this much…”

Yves: “Just keep the gifts to a moderate level, okay?”

Rio: “Understood! I’ll make sure the bouquet of roses I give along with the present will be 1,000 instead of 10,000 so that Emma’s arms don’t get tired!”

Yves: Like I was saying!

[beef-brisket]

Charlie: Okay, that's fine- just... please, try and be a little nice to him, okay?

Adam: Okay, okay- shit... fine. I'll be fucking nicer...

He tensed up as Charlie hugged him tightly.

Charlie: Thank you, Adam... he's the only parent I've go left, I can't lose him...

Adam sighed and wrapped his arms around her.

Adam: I know, kid... I'll help him, okay? As much as I can.

Charlie nodded, her head resting just under his chest.

Charlie: T-Thank you, Adam.

-

Lucifer woke up tense and coughing. He felt like something was crawling up his throat, but after a few hacks, three petals came out of his mouth, landing next to him.

He could feel that Adam wasn't with him. As much as it hurt, he didn't blame him. Lucifer has left him more times than he could count. What was new was the hopeless feeling that filled him. That feeling that he wasn't good enough for Adam, he deserved to be alone.

Is this how Adam felt in Eden? Maybe worse, seeing as it was three people that left him. In the end, it was only Adam left. And now, it was only Lucifer.

He felt tears build up in his eyes, but he couldn't cry. He already felt the flowers crawling up his throat, cutting the sensitive flesh.

A click of the door made Lucifer look up, and he actually started crying when he saw Adam walk in- with food?

Adam: Hey, Lu- oh shit. Hey- bud, you're okay!

Adam put the tray of food down on his desk and quickly went over to Lucifer.

Lucifer: I-I thought you left- I-I'm so sorry, Adam- for l-leaving you- e-every time- I've failed you-.

Lucifer started coughing. Adam quickly helped him sit up and started rubbing his back.

Adam didn't want to think about what Lucifer said and how much strain he had in his voice. He didn't want Lucifer wasting his breath on him. Not if it'll cause him pain.

Adam: It's okay, Lu. Just... just try and breathe, okay?

Lucifer nodded and slowly started to calm his breathing. It was so much easier while Adam was here.

Adam: ...I'm sorry, too. I've done... horrible shit. You didn't deserve it. Not you or Charlie. I let my bullshit become everyone else's problem, and that's not fair. On any of you. So, I want to help you, okay? I won't... I won't pressure you to tell me who they are or anything. But I want to make you comfortable, okay? And... and maybe... fix you, completely... at some point.

Lucifer weakly smiled as Adam talked. It was strange hearing Adam so calm and caring, but he savored it. His heart even fluttered as Adam brought over the food he came in with.

Adam: It's just soup, I though it would go down easy, you know?

Lucifer: Thank you, Adam.

Adam smiled: Don't mention it.

Lucifers heart fluttered again as Adam started to feed him. He even wiped the corners of his mouth when he needed to.

Adam broke off a few small chunks of buttered bread and gave them to Lucifer. This was the first full meal Lucifer had in days. Everything was so hard to eat.

Adam: There. I don't usually make soup, so I hope it wasn't too shit.

Lucifer smiled and leaned back against the pillows.

Lucifer: It was perfect.

Adam smiled back: Okay, that's good. I'll uh... do you want a bath? Or something? You've been in bed for a while.

Lucifer blushed: W-Will you help?

Adam blushed as well, and he cursed himself for it.

Adam: If you want me to- if you're comfortable with it.

Lucifer: I am.

Adam: Alright, Luci. I'll get it started for you.

Lucifer's heart fluttered at the nickname, something he hadn't heard for a long time. He watched as Adam walked to bathroom and turned the baths tap on.

Adam: I'll open the window for you, try and get the steam out.

Lucifer: Thank you, Adam.

He smiled hearing Adam move around the bathroom. Lucifer was able to breathe easier, knowing Adam definitely cared for him. Maybe Adam doesn't hate him as much as he thinks he does.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01

Hanahaki Disease

The day of the failed extermination was the end of many things for Lucifer. The end of Heaven's terror, the end of his isolation, the end of the Exorcists, but most importantly, it was the end of the First Man.

He had his fun, taunting Adam for anything and everything, his weight, his wives, his attitude. He knew there was no way in Hell Adam would ever be able to beat him, let alone hurt him. But it was fun to rile him up, fucker did put his hands on his daughter. He deserved it.

Feeling Adam's mask break open under his fist was so incredibly satisfying, but not as much as feeling the bones in Adam's face crack and snap as he landed blow after blow. Just when he was about to do something horrific with his Hellfire, he felt a warm touch on his shoulder.

Looking up, he was met with the face of his daughter, begging him for mercy. Of course, Lucifer felt a teeny tiny weeeny bit bad when he saw how much golden blood covered Adam's face and clothes. But that feeling quickly left when he crawled out of that crater to spew more self-righteous bullshit.

After that, everything was a blur. The sudden silver blade sticking out of Adam's chest, to him falling, landing on the ground with a sickening crack. The tiny maid on his back, stabbing him over and over. And laughing while doing it.

Lucifer watched as an angel with one arm ran over to Adam and pulled him onto his back. Her begging was hard to listen to. It was affecting a deep part of him that was making him feel sympathy for the pathetic bastard. He couldn't have that.

So, he threw them out. Every single one of them. Forcing the army to leave their dead to be feasted on by the cannibals.

Lucifer helped his daughter rebuild. He even cooked some pancakes for everyone.

It wasn't until he was sure everyone at the hotel was asleep that he went out to check the carnage. At least, that's what he told himself. But it was a useless lie as he beelined for Adam's body.

Lucifer felt sick as he saw the state of it. Most of his stomach was gone, his limbs bitten down to the bone. But the most painful thing was his wings. They were broken, snapped, and torn apart. Eaten.

He was eaten.

Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, the man twitched. And groaned. A bubbling noise escaped his throat, golden blood running out of his mouth.

He's alive.

Lucifer knelt down, his hand hovering just above his chest. It was definitely raising and falling. It was very weak, but it was still happening.

That's when Adam said his final words.

Adam: ...h-hate... you...

Lucifer watched as his eyes became empty. No feeling or purpose behind them. No holy light.

The day of the failed extermination was the end of many things for Lucifer. The end of his old friend. The end of all the good memories he had from Eden. The end of his hope to repair things with Adam.

But, the day after the failed extermination was the start of many things for Lucifer. The start of seeing Adam's chest slowly start to raise again. The start of Adam's stay at the Hazbin Hotel. The start of Lucifer's own personal Hell. The start of hanahaki disease.

It started the first day Adam was at the hotel. The man looked broken and defeated. He didn't even argue with Charlie when she told him about what he'd need to do to stay here. And she wasn't holding back, and neither was Maggie.

She had her spare pressed into Adam's neck the whole time. But the light in his eyes was gone, the need to fight back. He was still healing and was quite the horrid sight, but even that didn't give him any mercy from the members or workers at the hotel.

He watched Adam limp his way to the room Charlie said was his. The whole time, he said nothing, even when Lucifer made a few small threats to his life of he tried anything.

Lucifer felt a tickle in his throat, and he coughed and cleared it.

Lucifer: Hm. Weird. Better not have caught anything form those fucking angels.

Little did Lucifer know that was the start of something truly horrible.

[kathlare]

instagram limbo

Lando Norris x Alejandra Lagüera

Summary: Ale enjoys a lazy Sunday morning in New Haven, catching up with her best friend Lily via FaceTime. Their conversation veers from playful banter about F1 races to a surprising follow request on Ale’s Instagram, sparking an amusing and reflective discussion.

Wordcount: 1.7 k

Warnings: just fluff

May 19th, 2024 - New Heaven, CT

The soft morning light streamed through the curtains of Ale’s cozy apartment in New Haven, Connecticut. The faint smell of freshly brewed coffee lingered in the air as she stretched, still tangled in the warmth of her blankets. It was 9 AM on May 19th, a lazy Sunday for most, but not for Ale. Her last set of final exams was just around the corner, and although she had one final week of classes before they began, today was meant to be a well-deserved break. For now, it was time to unwind, take it easy, and—of course—have a catch-up chat with her best friend, Lily.

Grabbing her phone from the bedside table, Ale unlocked it and clicked on her messages, only to see a notification from Lily Zneimer lighting up the screen. A smile crept up her face as she tapped the call button to FaceTime her best friend, already knowing this would be the distraction she needed.

It took only a second before Lily’s face appeared on the screen, her messy bedhead and slightly disheveled appearance a clear indication that it was 2 PM in London.

“God, you look like you just woke up,” Lily teased, her tone full of affection.

“Yeah, well, I did just wake up,” Ale responded groggily, rubbing her eyes and trying to wake herself up fully. “I needed some extra sleep after those endless group projects.”

Lily rolled her eyes, flipping her camera around for a brief moment. “You’re always overworked. But hey, look, I’m watching the race!” She turned her phone back toward herself, and Ale’s gaze landed immediately on the TV screen behind her, the unmistakable sound of F1 cars zooming in the background.

Ale groaned playfully. “Seriously? I barely just woke up, and you’re already glued to the TV?”

Lily shrugged, grinning ear-to-ear. “What can I say? Oscar’s racing, and I need to support him. Besides, it’s Imola, the old-school track. How can I not?”

Ale shifted in bed, glancing at her own clock. It was 9 AM in Connecticut, but a part of her wasn’t quite sure how much more of the race Lily was actually watching and how much of it she was hearing but not really paying attention to. After all, Ale knew Lily well enough. She was only pretending to be fully invested.

"Yeah, yeah, you’re totally paying attention," Ale teased, raising an eyebrow as she leaned against the headboard, fully aware of Lily’s usual distractions. "You're not even looking at me."

Lily let out a dramatic sigh. "I'm multitasking. Look, he's in P4! Do you know how hard that is in his second season? He’s doing great."

Ale smirked, folding her arms, deciding to let her best friend have her moment. “Fine. Be a good girlfriend. Just don’t forget about me, okay?”

“Oh, don’t worry, you’re still the second most important thing on my screen,” Lily replied, her eyes flicking back to the TV, clearly more focused on the race than the conversation at hand.

Ale rolled her eyes but couldn't help but laugh. “Tell me about it. I bet that’s true. But, listen, I need to ask you something.”

Lily, as if on cue, glanced up from her phone screen, noticing the sudden shift in Ale’s tone. “What’s up?”

Ale hesitated for a moment, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the edge of the blanket. It wasn’t exactly the easiest topic to bring up, especially given how it was tied to something so… well, unexpected. She had been meaning to talk to Lily about it, but the timing never felt quite right. Now, though, it felt like the conversation had to happen.

"So," Ale began, her voice a little quieter than before, "there's this, uh, follow request on my Instagram." She paused, glancing at Lily's face, gauging her reaction. "From some guy. His name’s Lando Norris."

Lily’s face immediately lit up with a mischievous grin, and she leaned closer to the camera, nearly pressing her nose to the screen. “Oh. My. God. I was waiting for you to bring that up,” she said, her voice dripping with feigned innocence.

Ale furrowed her brow, already sensing she’d walked into a trap. “What do you mean, ‘waiting’? You knew about this?”

Lily threw her head back, laughing. “Of course I knew about it! I was there when he asked for your Instagram. Actually, correction—begged for it. You should’ve seen him, Ale. It was pathetic, really.”

Ale groaned, covering her face with her hands. “Jesus, Lily. You gave him my Instagram? Why would you do that? I didn’t ask for this kind of attention. You know how much I value my privacy.”

“Oh, come on,” Lily countered, clearly unapologetic. “You’re acting like I gave your address to a stalker. It’s just a follow request, and—hello?—he’s like, one of the biggest up-and-coming F1 drivers. You should be flattered.”

“Flattered?” Ale repeated, her tone incredulous. “Lily, I didn’t even know who he was until I clicked on his profile. I had to Google the guy to figure out why he’s verified and why he has millions of followers. That’s not exactly my idea of keeping things low-key.”

Lily shrugged, completely unbothered, and shifted her phone slightly to glance at the TV. “Well, now you know. And for the record, he’s a good guy. Totally harmless. And, uh…” Her grin widened. “He might have a tiny crush on you.”

Ale groaned again, louder this time. “Oh my God, stop. Lily, I’m serious. You need to stop giving people my Instagram. I’m not ready for… anything. Not even harmless crushes.”

Lily softened, her teasing tone fading. “Okay, okay, I get it. But, Ale, you’ve been saying that for years now. And I get it, I do. After… everything, you needed time. But you don’t have to shut yourself off from the world forever.”

Ale’s jaw tightened slightly, her eyes flickering down to the blanket she was still toying with. She knew Lily meant well, but it wasn’t as simple as just “opening up” again. “It’s not about shutting myself off,” she said quietly. “I just… I’m not ready to have my life out there like that. Especially not for someone who has millions of fans watching their every move.”

Lily tilted her head, a sympathetic smile forming on her lips. “Fair point. But just so you know, Lando’s not the type to make a big deal out of things. Honestly, he’s a total goofball. If anything, he’d probably be terrified of messing things up with you.”

“Yeah, well, good thing he doesn’t have the chance,” Ale muttered, though there was no real venom in her tone. “I haven’t accepted or declined the request. I’m just… letting it sit there.”

Lily snorted. “Classic Ale. Leaving a man in Instagram limbo.”

Ale rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Just promise me you won’t give my info to anyone else. Please.”

“Fine, fine,” Lily said, holding her hands up in mock surrender.

There was a brief pause, the sound of the race filling the space between them. Ale glanced at the screen, watching as Lily’s eyes darted back to the TV. “You’re not even listening to me anymore, are you?”

Lily blinked, momentarily distracted. “What? No, I heard you. No more Instagram giveaways. Promise.” She grinned, clearly back to multitasking.

Ale shook her head, a small smile tugging at her lips despite herself. “You’re impossible.”

Lily smirked, leaning casually back on her couch. “Impossible but lovable. Don’t even try to deny it.” She tilted her phone slightly, giving Ale a better view of the TV screen. “By the way, you should totally come to Monaco for the race next weekend. It’ll be fun. Oscar has an extra guest pass.”

Ale let out a short laugh, shaking her head. “Yeah, right. As if I have time for that. Finals, remember? I have enough on my plate already.”

Lily arched an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Oh, come on. You’ve been stressing yourself out for weeks. A weekend in Monaco would be the perfect break. Sun, luxury, and you get to watch me pretend to care about motorsport for Oscar’s sake. What’s not to love?”

Ale bit her lip, searching for a believable excuse. “I… I really need to focus on studying. Plus, flights are crazy expensive last-minute.”

Lily scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. “Nice try, but we both know your dad would cover it in a heartbeat if you asked. And don’t give me the studying excuse. You’re literally a human encyclopedia. You’d probably ace your finals even if you studied on the flight.”

Ale groaned, leaning her head back against the headboard. “Lily…”

“Nope,” Lily interrupted, her voice firm. “Don’t even start. I know that tone. You’re trying to wiggle your way out of this, but I’m not letting you. You deserve some fun, Ale. And honestly, it’ll be nice to have you there. It’s been ages since we’ve spent proper time together.”

“I don’t even know anything about F1,” Ale muttered weakly, searching for an excuse that might stick.

Lily smirked, a glint of triumph in her eyes. “Perfect. Then you’ll learn. Consider it cultural enrichment.”

Ale shot her a look, but Lily simply shrugged, unfazed. “I’ll text you the details. Pack something nice. You’re not getting out of this, so don’t even try.”

“Lily…” Ale started again, but her best friend had already turned her attention back to the TV, clearly considering the matter settled.

“Shh,” Lily said, waving a hand dismissively. “Oscar’s coming into the last laps, and it’s close. I need to focus.”

Ale sighed, shaking her head as a reluctant smile crept across her face. Despite everything, she couldn’t stay annoyed with Lily for long. She was pushy, yes, but it came from a place of love. And maybe, just maybe, a weekend away wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world.

“Fine,” Ale muttered, more to herself than to Lily. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you when this whole thing turns into a disaster.”

Lily’s face lit up with a victorious grin, even as her eyes remained glued to the race. “That’s the spirit! Trust me, you’re going to love it. And who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone interesting…”

Ale rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t suppress the laugh that bubbled up. “You’re insufferable.”

“And you adore me,” Lily shot back, her grin widening.

Shaking her head, Ale ended the call with a resigned laugh, her mind already racing with thoughts of what she was about to get herself into.

[thatbitchery]

So. Ladies and ladiettes of the press, I am finally going to talk about That Which We Do Not Mention Here. Yes, that. The Big Bad M. The Ew. That thing I Don't even respond to. Manifesting. Yes yes clutch your pearls, I am actually going to teach you the Manifesting Code. Yes I know. I can't believe I'm doing this either. You KNOWWW idgaf about it when I'm giving it for free like this but anyway. The love and light and angel numbers ppl this is your sign to unfollow me I'm about to dismantle your entire belief system.

Well then. Ah where do I start. First off, everyone say thank you to all the spiritual girls and monks and witches I've met and to me for being wayyy too open minded for a Christian Catholic. Everyone say Thank You, B.

First, manifesting is a feminine thing. You HAVE to be in your feminine to manifest. Ask my masculina ass, I'd know. Would've accomplished 5 times more if I could just for God's sake be feminine but heh. If you can't be in your feminine, you need to find someone that is and channel it? Use it? like your dad and bf and male friends and ugly friends are doing with you. Good news is they don't even have to consent to it, energy fields work on proximity not willpower. Like you don't have to consent being affected by nuclear energy if you're in it's proximity you will get affected. If you are feminine and always tired or drained man do I have news for you :). Exactly. WHY? Because to manifest is to CREATE, and what is femininity, children? The manifesting code is the femininity code.

Second, manifesting is a container thing. Container, in the exact sense of the word. What is a container, you ask, and how do I expand it? Well, have you considered google? I ask back. You shake your head and I nod mine. I signed up for this, after all. Give me a minute I'll get to it.

Third, Manifesting is a question of truth. And not what you wish the truth was, what the truth really is. I love liars I do yesssss the world is a stage and you are a performer yess lie BUT you can't lie to yourself? Or to, well, God? The Universe? The Source? Whatever you believe in? And the more you try to the more you suffer, and for what? Again, I'll get to it.

Now, some truths I need to throw out there for no reason-

Gratitude is a lack mindset I'm sorry. I'm sorry it is

Being girly does have ties to femininity but its not exactly the same. This isn't about that Grating ass Mina Irfan voice, and this is coming from someone that does not stand for female on female slander.

Mothering and nurturing are masculine traits actually. Coming from someone again, so masculine I have a whole blog and do massive coaching to channel that energy so I don't baby adults.

You manifest in your feminine you keep it in your masculine. One day, when I am as jobless and bored as I am now, we will talk about this masc/ fem thing okay? You need to either be fully fem in a room with mascs that will balance it out (cool thing is, they don't even have to consent to it muahahaha). Extremely dangerous but what's a little thrill to it? or balance a 60/40. 60 masculine. If not, You'll just get it but not keep it, and what's the point? Again, what is creation with no sustenance? Balance. Yin/Yang or whatever it's called, good thing is it doesn't always have to be within you. You can balance by proximity ;).

We do not Act As If in this house okay? Visualization is as far as I'm willing to go, but we do not act as if here. Matter of fact if you could just not visualize either.

Life, the purpose of life, is experience and relationships. That's it. everything that does not meet these two will cause pain. Pain is a result of separation and stagnation.

There is no good, there is no bad. Only time, space, perception and interpretation.

(I can't believe I'm doing this rn?Oh how the mighty have fallen???). PS: just to put it out there i still HATEEE the manifesting ppl we are not the sameeeeee ok bye. And I will never again talk about this don't text me about it and if I delete it before you get it idk merry Christmas?and idc what your guru said.

OK i'll do it. I'll do it.

PART ONE: FEMININITY, DETACHMENT AND EXPERIENCES

As agreed above I'll get into the fem/masc dynamics some moons to come when I manipulate my way inro a holiday just to spend it working for no pay. For today, in the interest of this topic, lemme run it soft by you.

Femininity is the art of being. Creation is being. It does not require enrgy or effort to be exerted, just transferred. I'll keep this PG13 for the religious kids that can't fathom the I AM GOD mentality so let's say it this way- everything exists, its just brought into vision? By a transfer of energy, and transfer does not need effort, just a medium. The way you need steel to transfer heat from the fire into your food to cook it? In that way the steel pan is simply a medium. It does nothing, just exists and uhm, surrenders? That is femininity, the medium. It's a state of just- being. Detachment but surrender? If you get it you get it? The steel pan doesn't care if the heat is too much or too little or if the food is cooked or not? It will pass as much heat as is being transferred? Detachment. But then it has to kinda surrender? Itself? Heat could destroy it if too much, and yet it has to take the risk? Look if you don't get it I don't know how else to explain it to you. Femininity is surrendering to the transfer? Aka creation, being indifferent and surrendering to it, knowing you risk destruction? I'll stop it there for now :)

To manifest you need to understand- (And this is where if you do not understand the I AM God mentality you fall off) everything that exists exists not because of you, but through you. Like children. Second, Everything exists. Third, it is not your business how it exists or for what. Fourth, you don't get to choose how it exists or for what (THIS< ESPECIALLY THIS? When they say submission they actually mean surrender, and not to a man / masc). What does this mean? If you want money okay but you don't get to decide how it comes to you. You create the container for it and move on. Will you collect it? Inherit? Get a promotion? Gift? Surrender and detach from that and move on. It is insisting you have to get it through a raise that's keeping you broke. Channel, container. surrender and detach.

So this is the feminine code as pertains to this- I AM.

Thats it, bye.

Ok I'll get into it. Everything you want, you want because it's you. Ma idk how to explain this without getting all witchy its just- We are all one consciousness? If you get it you get it if not, that's ok you won't die maybe just suffer unnecessarily and keep coming back to the 3D until you get it hehe. The Ocean is one but it has kelp. kelp is not the ocean the ocean is not kelp but kelp is part of the ocean and the ocean is part of the kelp. That's the best I can do.

On to experiences, experiencing is a feminine trait. You know how men will be in a room with just tv and mattress and be okay? Just not shower and be okay? Not realize how that thing they did affected people? Be so, disconnected? Because men are born predisposed to masculinity and those people can't experience nothing to save their lives. No perception of sense. Sensuality is a feminine trait because it is experiencing through the senses. The girls that like to smell like roses and eat good food and have soft skin, those girly girls? They're feminine in that they experience through the senses ie sensuality. If you're learning to be feminine start with the senses. Senses are how we experience the world and what did we say was purpose no. 2 for existence? Uh huh. What does that have to do with manifesting?

You can not manifest if you are not experiencing life. Your guru wants you to light the candles and wear that dress you like and all that because it means you are experiencing life (Again, we experience the world through our senses) and then, only then, can you manifest. Shout out to my ADD/ADHD gang we can't manifest to save our own lives because we are never in the room- get CBT and learn to stay in the room. You can not manifest in escapism, why we said learn to be in the room? Escapism is masculinity (again, ask me I'd know). You need to be in the room fully.

NOWWWWWWW lets gooo to the part of the love and light ppl I hate- refusing and blocking experiences because you have decided they are bad and interpreted them as painful is how you get DepresseD. That is the science of depression and PTSD and all that, mind you, you refuse to accept an experience because you decided it's bad. And this is not to say all experiences are good, in what world is assault or loss of a loved one good- I'm not saying gaslight yourself. You are NOT grateful he broke up with you stop lying to your own gratitude journal. I'm saying- accept it AS IS. It is what it is. If you're hurt you're hurt. If you're in pain feel the pain, its an experience and again WHY ARE WE ALIVE PEOPLE? Accept your experiences. Feel your feelings. Surrender to it? It is what it is? Stop trying to control it? We don't control our feelings we control our actions based on them. We feel our feelings okay? No badbitchness is acting like some stone in the name of being stoic. Femininity is being stoic. It is what it is. You block your experiences you refuse to surrender you refuse to detach you refuse to be indifferent and, Y'know.

2. CONTAINERS, WHAT THEY ARE AND HOW TO EXPAND THEM.

Do consider google for this, thanks. No fr. How do I even explain this. Y'all don't pay me enough for this? Matter of fact y'all don't pay me at all? Can't wait to resent y'all bc of the energy imbalance lol. If i ever delete this blog that's the resentment.

The shark in the tank we know this story. Shark in tak only grows to the size of that tank. Shark in ocean grows to max size. Same animal. Difference? The container. You get? You get? YOU GETTTTTT?

You can only receive as much as you can contain. Think of yourself both as the tank and the shark. You can only grow as big as your container. You can only hold as much as the maximum capacity of your container.

THIS, THIS- CHILDREN- IS WHERE WE GET TO IT. THIS IS THE REAL SHIT.

Now, say you're a mother. Billionaire. Can have it all in a day. Your 10 year old that has never even skated asks for a G Wagon. Now, can you buy it? Of Course. Will You? Uhm. No, no obvioulsy no. Not because you can't, because she does not have the CONTAINER for it. She needs to be old enough. Then she needs to get a license. Then maybe a corolla. Then she can get that Wagon.

See that thing I just described? That is her expanding her container.

The container is the space the thing you are asking for will manifest in. Trip to paris okay do you have a passport? Can you handle yourself in Paris? Do you even know what you want to do in paris? NO ONE cares if you have the money for it btw it's embarrassing af to manifest money uhm? It's giving lack lol. Do you have space to hold the thing you want? Manifesting being a billionaire when you can not manage 1k without going crazy, it's not coming. Expand ypur money container.

Once upon a time couple of revolutions back I had a stupid crush on this XY person? The consuming kind? We had chemistry and he just- fell off. Just cut it off? And I'm like uhm universe bestie I think you forgot the I want it I get It Code? Desire- reception pipeline? My 3% femininity? That's what we want? then later read this thing that says God will not let you have it because You will lose yourself to it and God needs you to be yourself. Amen? Given you are the Universe/ God/ Figurehead X trying to experience itself through your pov- see why it would never let you have that thing unless you have a container for it? Because it could be the thing that destroys you? And it wasn't wrong lol I was willing to shift my entire life for this one XY lol. Not until I expanded that container that I met my now bf, and container so big if we break up it'll suck but anyway on to the next?

Before you manifest, create the container for that thing. Create space for it. Give it a channel -several actually- to follow to you, then let it go and move on.

You want money, okay. How much? Six figures. KK. First, get financial education on how to deal with money, then put ourself in situations for it to come to you. Work towards that promotion but do not attach to it, don't think it's the only way you can get it. Then, date a millionaire. Then have a business, play the lotter idk. Multiple channels and a soft space for it to land on.

You want a masculine provider okay good for you. Expand that container and put yourself in his path.

You want to have more fun? good for you. cut off those pessimists and cowards. say more yes's? Yeses? Whatever. Wtf even is english lol. (I'm tipsy if you can't tell). Put yourself out there. Seek more experiences.

You want to be healthy? Okay expand that container. Eat healthy. Move more. Do health affirmations. See a doctor. Cut out the toxins.

You want X- okay. Expand that container. Max the channels. Surrender. detach.

One word- EXPOSURE.

3. THE DESIRE CODE

If only I had a dollar for every single time I talk to y'all about how to reach your goals and find out, less than three minutes in- this twenty five year old unit of an absolutely gorgeous woman has NO idea what she wants and is chasing the goals she thinks she is supposed to chase I'd have bought a car by now? Understandably socialization is extremely brutal in girls so I'm not going to go off on you, I'm going to tell you you can NOT UNWANT something. And you can not superimpose whatever desires you think are more noble or acceptable. And, in case it's not obvious by now, this Universe will keep hurting you until you go back to factory settings. You can fight, if you want, but you won't win. And the universe / God/ Figurehead (If your figurehead is masculine don't ever talk to me again?) responds to desire. Not wants. Not needs. Not prayers. Desires. Save time, go to therapy, return to factory settings and operate from there. Desire is a link to a point on a plane? Its the softest I can put it. It's a very straight line, if you fall off you get hurt because there is no path outside it? You want what you want. Go get it stop trying to not, especially for something as stupid as society. Just to gag you- You'll come back to this plane as many times and suffer through all of the lifespan until you just meet your needs/ desires so if you hate being alive well. There's a shortcut-

Either you manifest your actual desire or you manifest fun fun fun ways the Source will come up with to get you back on track your choiceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

There was another point probably but I can't compute.

BMAC

[denizenhardwick]

detailed analysis of trk ch 11, pt 2. here is pt 1.

tw rape, child sexual abuse, self-harm

the audiobook narrator's delivery in this scene is phenomenal btw. i have the way he says "oh, oh, that's unpleasant, i am not a fan of this at all" burned into my brain forever now. that's the line that had the biggest impact on me, and i just had to turn off the audiobook and stare ahead for a good couple minutes.

his reaction - or, specifically, lack thereof - is very telling. some of it can be attributed to his medication, but not all of it. this is an awful situation and it's going to change his relationship with everyone here forever, and he might be overcorrecting in an effort to seem unbreakable and apathetic. but he does care. he's trembling.

he has also experienced so much sexual abuse in his life that this isn't nearly as shocking for him as it is for everyone else here.

and then there's this.

"andrew, who'd barely acknowledged aaron's existence in the entire time neil had known them, immediately looked to his brother."

that's such a powerful line. and then he gestures aaron over but tries to get away when he comes too close because he needs to make sure aaron's okay but can't stand to be touched.

he incessantly shuts down all of aaron's attempts to focus on him to repeatedly ask if aaron's okay. to make sure nothing happened to aaron. he's even willing to hurt him a little to get an answer, because making sure he's okay is the most important thing to andrew.

it's a microcosm of their relationship.

we are also not getting any of neil's thoughts at this point. he has shut down, he's just holding up the blanket and describing what's happening, presumably while just staring at andrew in horror.

the contrast between andrew's actions and the obvious pain he's in, and his dialogue being essentially no different than how he usually speaks, is really something.

not to spoil the point i'm building towards, but he is struggling so goddamn hard to keep being the protector through what has to be one of the worst moments of his life. he obviously never wanted anyone to know about this. he doesn't want them to know, he doesn't want them to think about it or ask him about it or talk about it, but they can't help reacting because they care about him and what they witnessed isn't something they can gloss over and move on from, especially not this quickly.

kevin comes back with everyone else, and neil's hypervigilance snaps him back to attention, we start getting his thoughts again.

nicky ignores neil's warning and moves to touch andrew, which he again tries to avoid. and these moments are such phenomenal pieces of relationship building, they say so much about andrew's relationships on a broader scale.

aaron is extremely important to andrew, and he does want him close, but on his own terms. if aaron tries to reach out, he'll move out of the way.

nicky cares about andrew but can't read the room and is bad with boundaries, especially physical ones. he's way too hands-on for andrew to be comfortable.

kevin isn't trying to get close at all, he's running to get help and staying by the door.

meanwhile, for almost this entire scene, neil has been extremely close to andrew, almost touching him. sometimes actually just touching him. andrew has not acknowledged it in any way, but neil is sitting on the bed next to him holding the sheet up to his shoulders. and andrew is completely fine with it. this is an absolutely mind-blowing degree of trust that he's displaying here and it just isn't mentioned at all.

then andrew sees luther and he puts on a show for him. he acts surprised to see him and then delighted, but he still has a death grip on aaron's hair and neil sees that as a tell.

then it all clicks into place.

i got so mad when i read this. blood-boilingly, blindingly angry. because this is just so grounded in reality, this is how abuse is ignored and allowed to perpetuate in the foster system, and "you're just misunderstanding normal brotherly affection" is a common sentiment told to children when they try to tell an adult about the sexual abuse they're experiencing but don't have the vocabulary to explain what's happening.

maybe it's just me, but andrew's story has such a big impact because it takes a book series about mafia kids playing sports and grinds it to a screeching halt in a way that forces you think about child abuse happening to real kids in the real world. it's jarring and it's mundane, and it's the hardest-hitting part of the entire series because of it.

this also reframes andrew's entire character as we realize what he's trying to do, what he's always been trying to do.

andrew is not an aggressor. he's a protector. and he cares so, so much.

he has been failed over and over again. he did what he was "supposed" to do in that situation, he told an adult. and the adult didn't believe him, but he tried to make sure cass wouldn't take in any more kids after him so drake wouldn't have the opportunity to abuse them the way he abused andrew.

cass took in six more kids. luther didn't do anything, and then he brought drake back into andrew's life and put aaron and nicky in danger, too.

is it any wonder andrew thinks violence is the only way to protect the people he cares about? it's the only thing that's worked.

and then andrew takes off his armbands for the first time and reveals cutting scars, which is a gut punch in and of itself. again: mundanity, vulnerability, a redefining of what violence means in andrew's character.

when he says, "pigs don't like it when people like me carry weapons," it means something totally different than it would have at the beginning of the chapter. you get it now, and so does neil, which is why he hides them so carefully.

andrew will not use those knives to defend himself. we know that now, we've seen it; he fought back, but he didn't take his knives out. he uses those knives to scare people out of hurting others. having those knives makes him powerful because it makes people scared of him, and he leverages that to protect people. and because he's also seen as violent and erratic, he's able to do it without tipping his hand, revealing his weaknesses, showing how much he cares.

and he cares so, so goddamn much.

and that's all she wrote.

i think i have sufficiently justified why this chapter is fucking incredible and how goddamn effective the writing is on a technical and thematic level. it rocks your shit, it turns a lot of the series on its head, and entirely recontextualizes andrew so meaningfully and efficiently. his character has so much to say, and it did need a book and a half of incorrect foundation to say it effectively. he doesn't work if you're allowed to see him as a full, complex person from the start, you need to absorb the weight of how others think of him before you can deconstruct it, and the next book and a half works through that deconstruction. it's really cool and it's brilliant character writing.

[luneemeritus]

Fans created this realm of purity around Octavia where no one can criticize a single one of her actions or just be frustrated with her without being insulted and accused of "babying Stolas". But I'm not afraid of being honest or making hot takes that will upset a lot of I'm Literally OctaviaTM fan accounts.

Octavia is not flawless. Octavia can be criticized and can be in the wrong, and you are allowed to be frustrated with her. Damn, even Brandon dislikes her (which caused several fans to harrass him for it, yall so fucking insane). She is a 17yo girl, she is a young woman, not child. She can (and does) make mistakes, she can be cruel, she can be unfair.

Fans call Stolas selfish, a "bad father" and a lot of worse shit for ONCE IN HIS LIFE standing up to himself and choosing the smallest bit of happiness he was capable of (escaping his abuser and getting involved with someone he actually likes, and truly embracing his sexuality for the first time which seems to be a real trigger point to some fans, me thinks some of yall just dont like the gays), but are mad if anyone make the simplest complain about "hey maybe Via should've hear him out and try to think about his side of the story, use some critical thinking to realize Stella was never a good person to her father and etc etc". Like if not treating Via as a flawless angel and Stolas as the mean father is the same as wishing Via to be beheaded. Like grow the fuck up. All of you judging Stolas would do THE SAME if you were in his situation. Imagine living your whole life to others, for others, forced to live in a masquerade while being brutally abused every day and still be judged the worst personTM because your teenage child (again, traumatized AND affected by the same abuse you've been through) misundertood your intentions.

As amazingly pointed in this post, Via is 17 years old. She knows what is right or wrong, oh boy she knows, if she didnt know she wouldnt even be angry at her father. She said to his face that she is upset that he saved Blitz's life. Okay, you don't want to understand Stolas because boohoo daddy issues evil owl, but at least think of Blitz's side. Imagine seeing your lover's daughter angry that your life was saved. Your life, that is systematically treated as worthless by the same class Via is part of. Just think for a moment. And Blitz still sees Via as his future daughter! If you sympathize with Blitz for being unfairly hated by his sister, why can't you do the same with Stolas and Via's situation?

Literally I've seen so many people saying in one post: "i hope millie aborts her baby because no woman should be forced to have an unwanted child", and then in the next post "how dare stolas save blitz's life, he chose him over Via (a child that he was forced to have! btw!), he's a bad father" like how fucking dare you. Why are you so shamelessly hypocritical. I AM pro-choice btw, and yes Stolas did wrong things towards Via, but like, be fucking serious. No one's life should be limitated to their relationships. Stolas never chose Blitz over Via. Suddenly Blitz's life doesn't matter anymore, when it comes to shit about Stolas, now Blitz is not the flawless victim anymore and should have died. Fuck off.

Ugh. So fucking exhausting.

As much as i can understand where Via is coming from, and her feelings are valid, she doesn’t see her dad as a living person outside of just being her father. And that isn’t right. It’s especially not right seeing just how many people feel absolutely no empathy for him.

“She was just a child having to endure all that!!” Okay, and how old was Stolas when he had to marry an abusive girl and have a kid of his own, exactly? At least he gave Via a chance to have a good childhood, he didn’t have one. He didn’t have anything except for his duties to carry out.

And while it’s heartbreaking that Via sees herself as an obligation, that’s literally what she was supposed to be. Though that doesn’t mean that was how he saw her. She was what saved him, what made him endure all the abuse, what kept him going.

But sometimes that’s not enough, he had NO ONE to confide in and couldn’t put his frustrations on his own kid (because he’s a good father, despite what some of you would like to believe, clearly you didn’t grow up with a parent trying to guilt you by traumadumping when you can barely understand it), so he also NEEDED the pills.

The thing is, i also had that mentality towards my mom for dealing with depression UNTIL i started experiencing it myself. Because it’s so hard to realize that your parents are also human beings, since they’re supposed to protect you, they’re supposed to have everything figured out, to be the shoulder you cry on.

But if i see another dumbass claim that he CHOSE to leave and made the wrong decision in Mastermind, i need you out of this fandom. The whole point of that was that he had no choice, was he supposed to throw away the man he fell in love with, his first friend, his first time that wasn’t for procreation, and the one who liberated him? Stolas is allowed to care for more than one person, and he deserves to be loved romantically by someone.

You’re being too harsh on Stolas because for whatever reason you hate an abuse victim finally having a say in how to live for once in their lives, adding on top of that the weird, underlying homophobia in some of your criticisms for him.

Also i have a bad taste in my mouth from Via only seemingly hating Stolas, despite having SEEN how shitty Stella is. Sure, she doesn’t know the full extent of the abuse, but she’s heard the yelling, she’s seen the throwing, the ridiculing, the insensitivity. And most likely that woman neglected Via as much as possible, because she also didn’t choose to have her, but unlike Stolas she didn’t give a fuck to take responsibility regardless. (Reminding you of the “You get up” comment from Loo Loo Land). This was all happening before the cheating, so that’s not an excuse for her behavior (not that the cheating was, but at least Via would have been able to reason with her reaction to it).

It’s a complicated situation and it’s so shitty to put all the blame on Stolas, he tried so much for his family, but it was never going to be enough, because he’s gay. I’m glad he got out of that marriage.

Honestly, had i been given all those responsibilities at his age in a loveless marriage, i would’ve gone insane. I wouldn’t have been kind to my child, the cause of my shit life. But he never saw her as a weight on his shoulders, he has so much love for Via.

[drkineildwicks]

So we went and saw Sonic 3 in theaters....

Did it because my uncle paid for it

For context the very last movie I saw in theaters until this one was Sonic 1 so this was functionally the triumphant return

My honest thoughts:

*Crush 40 voice* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I've been singing Sonic music, specifically Shadow's songs, ever since going that movie was excellent I loved it and Mom had to stop me several times from vibrating apart in my seat XD

Also Sonic movie 4 is confirmed??? 2027 let's gooooo

Seriously I was all excited for the new Palworld expansion but after this movie that one has to wait I'm replaying SA2 XD

And it beating Mufasa into the ground is absolutely hilarious to me XD

Now that I've seen it I'm listening to podcasts covering it and the fact that Sonic 3 is showing in fewer theaters and making double the money HA!

And disney trying to lie and getting completely trolled by the fans

Three d's or whatever the lady said that got her arrested but Sonic is handing broke disney its head and I am here for it

Spoilery stuff under the cut, if you haven't seen it yet go see it

Also fair warning this gets long

Okay let's open up by saying that whoever makes these movies are MASSIVE GameCube era fans

Because they were pulling from Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Sonic Heroes

And Eggman's final outfit was his Sonic 06 one!

Was Gerald's Nega-Robotnik from the Rush games? IDK I only played the second one

They finally gave him his theme song as his ringtone!

I was elbowing Mom and pointing out what was from which game I did this with Sonic 2 as well

Sonic 1 when we came home from the theater I sat her down in front of the TV and booted up SA1 and SA2 and showed her the bits that the movie had pulled from

The guy in the Prison Island control room reminded me of the computer nerd from White House Down but Mom and I can't confirm yet

But he did have Omega on his computer console X'D

Shadow escaping from Prison Island

SHADOW MEETING TEAM SONIC AND BASICALLY REINACTING THE OPENING TO SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG

SONIC 3 WITH A CHAO GARDEN SEGA COULD NEVER

Listen I LIVED in those gardens with SA1 and SA2 I was able to identify every single one of those Chao types XD

THEY HAVE CHEESE THE CHAO!

Me spending 90% of the movie pointing like Leo DiCaprio in that one movie like they did the thing! They said the line! and the rest just vibrating apart

I warned my uncle before going in, multiple times, that I would not be normal about this movie

I am not normal about this movie

And I keep joking with Mom that these movies were tailor-made for her XD

Reason being she liked movie 1 and ever since then they've been adding stuff she likes like Uptown Funk, Shemar Moore, Keanu Reeves, etc.

Now they added the Beach Boys X'D

Also Shadow joining Knuckles on the TV women deserve more respect couch

Seriously was that bit with Shadow and the telenovela a reference to Ghosts of the Future? Did they actually reference a fancomic???

Gerald Robotnik still being alive is interesting and framing it with him having one of Shadow's quills makes me wonder if that energy was what kept him alive

It would explain how Ivo Robotnik survived the end of Sonic 2

And with the fourth movie confirmed and Jim Carrey saying he loves the character, I'm left wondering if he's somehow going to come back again

Like realistically there should be no way but I said that about Sonic 2 as well

Also I love that he's retired but for playing Robotnik at this point X'D

That also makes me wonder if Sonic and company are rubbing off on Tom, Maddie and even Wade the same way

Like realistically Team Sonic was only gone for maybe two days? HOW did they get all that done in two days if they aren't operating at Sonic's speed honestly

Also SONIC HEROES REFERENCE

MULTIPLE Sonic Heroes references because when Tails carries the others it's how they do it in that game, Tails throws Sonic like he does in that game, Knuckles throws Tails like he does in that game, etc.

So I was wondering if they were going to bring in Silver so they could go into Sonic 06 but with introducing Metal Sonic and AMY ROSE they look like they're heading for a combo of Sonic CD and Sonic Heroes

More the latter because they've got like half the main cast of that game by now XD

Oh give me Team Chaotix

Also I'm glad they're evidently going with Amy's later characterizations of being a competent fighter instead of just running into danger because she's boy-crazy

Although when Knuckles was trying to talk Sonic down from using the Master Emerald in his enraged state (coupled with the Chaos energy Shadow could generate) I was wondering if that was leading into Chaos coming out of the Emerald and a SA1 adaptation

Also me telling Mom "he left it with Wade" for the movie to immediately hard-cut to Wade X'D

Knuckles series reference!

That show was good y'all just out here acting like it stole your firstborn you'd have never survived the 00s era

BLACK DOOM REFERENCE

I never finished Shadow the Hedgehog but him using a device that summons a black hole makes me think that was Black Doom tech

Shadow coming down in a meteor that looks like the big eye thing that follows you around if you take the evil route

And I find it interesting that they softened Maria's death from getting straight-up shot

I did not tell anyone in my family how she goes out until after the movie, btw

But arguably being that close to an explosion is worse and there's probably good reason she was in shadow in those scenes

GUN having to account for rings being able to take you anywhere you can visualize was a nice bit of worldbuilding

Didn't like the one lady tho

Don't know who the actress is but I don't think I'm fond of her either so that didn't help

I will say that I agree with Mom on the pacing of some of the jokes, I had that problem with the first two movies as well where a joke went for too long

But in listing the parts I would trim down (the two Robotniks dancing, the first telanovela scene, the bits in the gravity scene, etc.) it's all stuff that couldn't be thrown in because of all the work that had to go into it

Like Jim Carrey had to sit in a chair for hours with the Gerald makeup and then had to film it all twice

On that topic, the line with them hanging a lampshade on him playing two characters didn't need to be in there and made the scene run too long

Look, the biggest thing about comedy is that it has specific timing and if something runs too long or too short it throws the whole thing off

Although I kept expecting Stone to come up to Space Colony ARK with one of the Robotnik vehicles to save Robotnik

Eggman ends up broadcasting like he did before and it's to talk directly to Stone

And to be fair to Stone: after three movies of Robotnik saying he hates organics and only needs his machines, being upgraded to syco-friend is the best those two can do

Like dang Robotnik's out here like help me Max, I'm FEELING!

Robotnik's heart grew three sizes that day

They still managed to destroy the moon with the Eclipse Cannon XD

Shadow hurting so badly from what they did to Maria that he was willing to die firing said cannon and he was actively egging Sonic on and telling him to kill him...ouch

I do want to question them being able to have a whole chat on the moon considering there's no air and no atmosphere

Legit my first thought when they were doing that was Stitch and cousins from Lilo and Stitch: the Series because they didn't need suits either

And when I was picking it apart with Mom over breakfast this morning I eventually reasoned that the levels on Space Colony ARK towards the end of SA2 all do the same thing since if you miss a landing there you go, plummeting towards earth in a fireball

I love that of the three of them, Knuckles was the one who could handle the stress of reentry

My boi is as tough as he says

So is Tom apparently dude should not have survived that

Getting hit in the chest like that can stop your heart, as we found out with that football player a few years back--dude is very lucky his plot armor is thicker than the general's

I also like that Shadow, for all his planning to destroy the world and everything in it, looked like he felt genuinely bad for hurting Tom by mistake

And him and Sonic having that heart-to-heart

LIVE AND LEARN INTENSIFIES

Like they teased the song through the whole movie to have it BLARE OUT IN THE CLIMAX

Me trying to resist singing along in the theater X'D

Also petition to have the scene where Sonic and Shadow shake hands and clasp the others before going super be the new handshake meme

HAVING GUN ROBOTS COME OUT OF THE ARK

"Don't tell me you have your own catchphrase" X'D

Shadow with his motorcycle, casually doing a Ghost Rider straight up Tokyo Tower

Me elbowing Mom when Sonic follows: "I told you he could have run up the side of the Trans-American building in the first movie!"

Mom: "Oh yeah!"

They had the same posters in the background of the Tokyo shots as they did in the game YES

Also I noticed during one of the close-ups that Shadow's gloves have that same little smartphone-friendly patch that most modern gloves have??? In the seventies??? Dang Black Doom made sure he got the good gloves X'D

Like seriously I could pick apart this movie for YEARS it makes me so happy it was worth all the hype :D

I wasn't even expecting the first movie to be any good but three great movies and a TV show Sonic fans are eating good and apparently we're not done yet

I am SO ready \.o./

Anywho *goes back to running outside belting "Live and Learn" at the top of my lungs*

also good stuff for that one BH6 AU

[nettlebrand]

Proshippers are so weird because every argument they make is so easily debunked it's actually funny

First of all let's define a proshipper since everyone loves to argue over that. I will also acknowledge the history of the word

Proship in it's early years was defined as proship/anti harassment. It was a term used by people who believed people should not be harassed over what they ship.

But that's its term years ago, and the meaning of words change. Let's not be stupid when it comes to this argument. Proshipper is a term now often used by people who ship problematic things like incest, minor x adult, and abuser x victim.

THIS IS NOT A TERM USED BY PEOPLE WHO WRITE ABOUT THOSE RELATIONSHIPS AND PROTRAY THEM AS UNHEALTHY.

It's a term NOW USED by people who ENJOY and actively ship and romantize those relationships. You can write about a victim x abuser without romantizing it. Proshippers romantize it.

Now that we have defined it, we can tear apart every argument they try to use to justify doing it.

"It's my coping mechanism! My therapist said so!"

I'm going to state my credentials right off the bat. I have a degree in psychology and am currently getting my doctorate degree in it. While yes, many therapists say it can be used as a coping mechanism, it is a TEMPORARY coping mechanism. It is not a long-term mechanism that we recommend at all. On top of that, we certainly do not tell you to post it online for the public to see. No therapist would tell you to do that, and any therapist that says it's okay to do that does have you not have your best interest. We KNOW you will harassed and attacked on the internet if you post stuff like that online. It's why we specifically tell you that if you HAVE to use this TEMPORARY coping mechanism, to not do it publicly.

"Fiction doesn't effect reality! Grow up!"

I'm not defending the people doing the attacking either. IF YOU SEND DEATH THREATS OR HARASS PROSHIPPERS, YOU ARE BAD TOO! No one deserves death threats or to be doxxed because of fictional media even if it is not everyones taste. But therapist can not control what goes down on the internet, and neither can anyone else.

"Well it's fictional! It does effect reality but it's fiction that makes it okay!"

Fiction DOES effect reality it is why we enjoy fictional things so much in the first place. Saying fiction doesn't affect reality, which ignores so much human history and the basics of WHY people create fiction in the first place. Fiction DEFINITELY affects reality, and it affects the human mind greatly. It's why people can laugh cry and get angry at media in the first place. That argument makes no sense because if it didn't affect reality, it wouldn't be a coming mechanism, which is what a lot of proshippers say why they proship.

Romantizing a relationship other people have been through and trying to portray it as a good and well thing is frankly gross and disgusting. It hurts victims a lot and can make them question their own abuse they went through. It's not a good thing at all. If you honestly think on any speck of this planet that romantizing an abusive relationship, whether incest pedophilic or rape in any way is okay because it's fiction, you are honestly not much better than actual pedophiles and abusers. They get off to hurting people, and you also get off to the hurting aspect. Yes, even if you yourself are a victim. Being a victim doesn't mean you get a pass to do whatever you want, and I think a lot of people need to remember that. You do not get a pass to romantize abuse no matter what. It's not a good thing at all to romantize and it can make you worse and question your own abuse.

"Calling us just as bad as real abusers boo!"

I will. I will stand by that, too. Because that's how it starts. My abuser also started with "just writings" and "just drawings." Because that's how it always begins. In psychology, we can tell how far someone will go based on the things they consume and how they consume it. It gets to a point where the person consuming it will be a victim or be an abuser. It's why so many pedophiles when they are caught, have CP on their computers because "it was just images." I'm not saying all proshippers are going to turn out to be pedophiles or abusers because thats obviously not true. But the route you are going down is an addiction, and you eventually won't be able to stop even if you just stop at drawn images. It's why you crave to do it so much and can not stop. It's the rush you get of posting it online to the thrill of being caught. You enjoy every aspect of it. It's an addiction.

"You are dismissing/disrespecting real victims by comparing CP to drawn/written CP!"

I myself am a victim. A very severe one. There are pictures of me out on the deep web somewhere when I wasn't even in double digits. I am not disrespecting what happened to me or other kids. While I do agree with the argument that drawing a fictional child is not as bad as real pictures of children, it is still disgusting to be making at all. It's also disrespectful to victims to be romantizing stuff like that publicly, so you aren't allowed to use that argument as if you cared for every victim, you wouldn't be posting it publicly.

"You are limiting artistic creativity! This is conservative ideologies that wants to censor work!"

If censoring the romantization of abuse being portrayed as good is wrong, then I want to be wrong. Yes, everyone should have artistic freedom, but why in any way would you WANT to be known as the author or person who portrays pedophiles in a good way. Who portrays abuse as okay and romantic. Why is that something you want in your life. No one should want that, and if you do, I encourage you to seek a strong amount of help. Censoring the portrayal of abuse as good shouldn't be a controversial statement at all, but it somehow it. If you are writing pedophiles incest and abuse as a BAD THING and you MAKE SURE, it's portrayed as a bad thing that isn't proshipping. It's when you romantize it and try to treat it as a "cute fun silly >w<." Thing that I see MANY proshippers do that's bad. Yes, I want that censored. Especially when it's easily accessible to minors. Proshippers do not care if minors can access their work, and it's very obvious seeing it. Even if it isn't inherently, nsfw minors shouldn't be seeing and interacting with ANY FORM OF MEDIA that portrays abuse as good.

"What about NSFW artist!?? You don't want them censored!?"

I don't see this argument made as often, but it's still one I want to talk about. Most nsfw artists I see make... normal art that doesn't revolve around romantizing abuse in some way. While obviously there are exceptions, nsfw art is aimed towards adults, which makes censoring a lot easier, and theres an understanding between sex vs relationship. There's a difference between porn with bdsm aspects in it vs. a fanfic writing on two characters, and the abuse is romantical. Sex is different than a romantic relationship.

"Well my artwork is aimed towards adults! Adults can understand it better!"

Adults can still have an awful time with abusive and struggling relationships. Adults can also be uncomfortable and not want to see their abuse portrayed in a good light. While I agree that many adults can understand and differ fiction from reality, that doesn't change the fact that romantizing abuse in any way isn't okay. What a lot of proshippers tend to not understand is how its portrayed that's the problem.

I am a HUGE FAN of enemies to lovers. If they didn't try to kill each other once is it really love/j. But the major thing is it's the build-up and actual relationship that's different. If two characters are in love and one is on a lower power level, then another and just keep getting abused and beaten and mistreated even when they aren't enemies anymore. There's the romantizing abuse. A majority of the time, most don't even add warnings to this kind of content, which can heavily hurt past victims as well. Adults are allowed to not be okay! Adults are allowed to not be okay with seeing literal abuse be romantized! And that shouldn't be an excuse to do it just because your content is aimed for a more mature audience. Horror movies are aimed at adults and can portray murder as awful, proshippers shouldn't be an exception. Proshippers forget that antis tend to also get on people who use excessive gore without portraying it correctly as well. Urbanspook is a recent example who was HEAVILY flamed for his excessive gore without any real meaning or care behind the topic.

"Why do I have to demonize this! That doesn't mean I'm endorsing it!"

That's... what it means. If you do not portray a topic as serious as any form of abuse as bad then... why are you writing about it. I'm not saying it should be the main story because you can write about abuse and have it be a secondary plot point. Many stories do this, and it's don't correctly. But just writing about something just for the sake of having it in there without showing it as a bad awful thing, which is in the definition of abuse, is wrong and bad.

I'm not making this post to "change proshippers." Or "harass and bully them." I'm making this post because every argument they use is wrong and incorrect and hurts other victims, me included. I frankly don't care what proshippers do, but don't make mundane arguments about it. Just admit you want to do it just because you want to not for some anti conservative idea or because you believe it helps. There are better coping mechanisms, and posting yours online doesn't help your mindset. I hope all victims get the help and strength they need to heal from whatever they have been through, but posting romantic abuse online isn't going to help your mind or help anyone else. It's not some splatterpunk idea that slaps conservatives in the face and in fact pushes the idea to censor things more when kids come across it.

And honestly if any proshipper wants to have a debate about this I'm open to it as long as its cival. But frankly I don't see any reason to publicly be posting romantic abuse online.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Prologue

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

Welcome welcome!

There is a method to my madness with the beginning half of this post on every chapter and the tea pics. I try my very best to make sure to minimize spoilers so the real content will be below this.

What I know (or don't) going into this series

Don't correct me, it's more fun if this all turns out to be wrong:

it is a love story across lifetimes

one of them wears disguises?

heavenly realms

it is painful AF

I am expecting many deaths to be honest

That's literally all I know, I didn't even really read the back cover until after I read the prologue (below) I am going in so blind.

With this all in mind; Let's gooooooooooooooooooooo:

Okay starting off strong with "the laughingstock of the Three Realms" p11

Oh god, "how to describe the prince...'unique'" p11

This man sounds so sweet "I want to help the common people" p11 but also him over here rescuing babies falling off the walls p13

Oh, I can see how the rich bitches with power would see this as problematic. The audacity of them trying to punish him for doing good. pp13-14

omg this guy, just casually meeting the Heavenly Emperor p16

this is a side note, I will say, though I have 0 experience reading actual heavenly realm lore, I feel well prepared for this due to the sheer amount of MXTX fanfics I have read that are probably crossovers with TGCF but I just didn't even know.

Good for him for ascending! Though if this is one of the protagonists of the story, I am worried for how naïve he seems p16

Well, the Rich Bitches were not wrong to fear the inauspicious start to the ceremony pre-ascension. 3 years later and ofc they are invaded AND the prince is not even there due to his ascension. p17

Poor buddy. I already know this series is going to hurt. He just wanted to help but made everything so much worse by getting involved in human things. p18

"to speak harshly, was he not just useless trash who could not do anything right?!?!" p18

What a tough blow. From god of protection and peace to God of misfortune. p19

AND banishment

Not the double ascension AND immediate banishment. p20 But i do want to know how he lasted like 30 minutes the second ascension. I'm just picturing him up there throwing hands for a hot second before being shunted back to earth double birds flying.

I also love that he's like a little weird. just a queer little man putting on street shows and acting odd as hell.

ooof. Bro. not only was he The Laughingstock for a minute, he also wasn't even memorable enough for people to recall him after a while. This story is going to ruin my life I know it. I already want to adopt this immortal man and wrap him in soft things. p21

A THIRD ASCENSION??????? p22

The canon has been FIRED

The way in which this story already started at 100. Blasted into the universe with this prologue, we had a weird little guy, he ascended descended too many times to be okay, and now we are shunted into chapter 1.

[roseniceblade-blog]

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. first impressions ╭──╯ . . . . .

russell adler x oc

summary: returning to the job you love, after some unsettling events, you try to welcome new changes. Some more mysterious than others....

authors note: Okay, I know this should be on my writing blog, but I have more Adler stuff on here, I think. I'm also still working on my Crossover story that more chapters are coming out. To be honest, I had the oc idea for a while but didn't know how to execute, so this is just a little snippet drabble of that idea.

“They're late.” CIA Russell Adler commented to his fellow teammate Alex Mason as Adler took a casual puff from his cigarette. Amsterdam; 1981 — they're moving on a target but someone's missing.

“They'll be here.” Mason assured.

“Are you sure about that? How do you know your friend is trustworthy?”

“Trust me, she's one of the best.” Adler gave him a confused look.

“She?”

“Problem?”

“...Nope, not at all.” Adler trailed on as sees the contact they're meeting with, however, someone was by their hip. He had to do a double take when he glanced her way. He would never admit it, but he could've sworn she almost took his breath away.

“Well, Mr. Hans, here is my good friend and his colleague. I'm sure you know them well.” You greeted the two men. You wanted to start off strong since it's been a while since being in the field. Hudson did you a kindness after something happened to you recently. He's helped you before, so you helped too.

“Come on. Woods is itching for a dust up.” Alex's friend said. “Don't want to let him down.” This is the first time you met him and he's…an interesting character. All three of us walked out but you managed to time an interception by clearing your throat. Alex turned behind him, owing you an explanation since Hudson didn't explain EVERYTHING to you.

“Oh yea, forgot.” Alex chuckled as you playfully whack his shoulder.

“Dude!” He feigned getting hurt but you knew he was just messing with you. Like old times…God, you'd miss that. More than they'll ever know..

“Sorry ‘bout that. Adler, meet Vanessa Hansley; one of the best people you'll ever meet. Vanessa, meet Russell Adler.” Alex introduced. Looking at this mystery man, curiously. It was took dark out so you couldn't see his face that well.

“Yeah, we'll do introductions later. Let's get Qasim.” Adler brushed off, walking towards Frank.

Huh, some guy.

╒══════════════════════════════════════════════╛

Within a few hours, you're donning your old combat gear, boots, the whole shebang. It's been a long time but luckily it still fits. You're about to put on your “war paint”; Frank recommended it years ago and helped. Starting until a certain individual in aviators appeared from the side.

You know you're doing it wrong, right?” Jolting, you turn towards the direction of the voice and was a bit relieved. “Jumpy, huh?” He teased. You scoff at the false claim.

“No, I'm not jumpy. Also, I actually am doing it right.” Ignoring him, you continue. He walks closer and sits down in the mundane motel room we're using to prep for the mission at the airport.

“I can see your face still…I can help.”

“No, thank you. It's just —”

“Just come over here.” He insisted. Not wanting to argue further, you walk over to sit on the bed and Adler brings the chair over to sit in front. He doesn't say a word. Just placed the paint jar on the small nightstand and began working. He was…gentle? Of course, her first impression was that of he's the type of guy who puts business/work before everything. Especially of how he brushed her off when they first met. But now he's this close to you, definitely not what you thought originally. ‘Not that bad looking either’ you thought. God, Vanessa, get a grip! You just met him! You were able to get your thoughts in check as he continued to take his time.

“I'm sorry that you got to do this.” You speak carefully as the paint doesn't get in your mouth. “Usually I can do this — done it plenty of times in the past but…I'm a bit rusty…” Alder gazes at you, saying nothing for a few moments.

“Rusty? You didn't seem that way back on the rooftops.” He said. Chuckling, you sigh at the mayhem of what just occurred the past few hours.

“Well, yeah but to be honest, it was just mostly adrenaline. Anger too…”

“Really? Why?” You're hesitant to reveal such sensitive info to a stranger, hell you haven't told Mason and Woods yet. However…

“Yeah…a lot's happened in the span of like 2 days. Also I was supposed to “resign” but Hudson never finalized it.”

“Now, why resign?” Adler asked, curiously.

“Oh hey now, this isn't ‘20 questions to only one person’. What about you, what's your story?” You asked. He sadly went silent again as he finished up. Apologizing again for intruding, he just gave you a small smirk. He could see why Mason was so confident in you and your skills. “Well, I do think of myself as an excellent listener. I hope we can be friends…you need them in this line of work.” You confessed.

“Hmm…maybe. Who knows?”

“Oh, who know?” you mocked, “I'll have you know I'm so fun to be around! Like uber fun!”

“Yeah?” He playfully rolled his eyes.

“Uhhh, yea and —” A knock emitted behind Adler, cutting off our conversation.

“Yo, hurry up there, we gotta go!” Frank yelled out, disrupting the awkward tension. You gathered the rest of the necessary equipment and started to walk out.

“To be continued..” Adler said as he opened the door for you, both of us walking into who knows what for this mission.