#am i letting the colonization win?

[jojotier]

My grandfather was a pagan priest, my mother's a Catholic witch, and I'm an atheist mostly because I reckon that if there is a God he'll appreciate the irony

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Controversial opinion among Dune book fans maybe, but I loved the changes they made to Chani's character. Making her a fedaykin who is already an experienced fighter before Paul arrives was a brilliant choice. Dune Part Two is a war movie, and this puts her at the center of the action, side by side with Paul, and gives her a much more active role than she has in the book.

We got a hint of where things were going in the beginning of Dune Part One. The first thing we ever know about movie Chani is that she's a fighter. She serves as a voice for the Fremen, telling us the story of their struggle from her point of view. I wrote here about the difference this change makes compared to other adaptations of Dune, what a perspective shift it is to have the world of Arrakis introduced not by an outsider, describing it as a dangerous but valuable colonial prize, but by one of its native inhabitants, who tells us before all else that it's beautiful, her home that she's fighting to liberate. I am so, so glad that the second movie followed up on this characterization.

I never found Chani and Paul's love story in the book particularly convincing, because why would this woman, who already has a prominent and respected place in Fremen society, even give the time of day to her deposed would-be colonizer, let alone fall in love and have children with him? Without a compelling reason for Chani to love Paul, she ends up feeling like a prize to be won, and "indigenous culture personified as a woman to be wooed (or conquered) by the colonizing man" is a trope we've seen and don't need to repeat.

But as soon as you tell me it's a barricade romance I get it. Cool cool cool, I know exactly what this relationship is now and it makes sense. Movie Chani doesn't respect or even particularly like Paul when she first meets him, and she doesn't think he's the fulfillment of any prophecy. She comes to respect him, and eventually love him, through his actions. He's brave--sometimes recklessly so. He fights well. He's willing to stick his neck out on the front lines with the other Fremen fighters. He can (after a little help) hack surviving in the harsh desert environment. He's not too proud to learn from others. He seems to genuinely want to be her equal in a common political struggle. All these qualities make sense as things she values.

Fighting side by side as equals is just about the only way I can see movie Chani falling for Paul. And it fits perfectly with the film's pattern of reversals that Paul's capacity for violence would initially be one of the things Chani likes about him, only for her to be repelled later when she sees what he becomes.

And as for Paul, well, he's had people deferring to him his entire life. Someone who doesn't take any shit from him is probably refreshing. He seems to like people (Duncan, Gurney) who challenge him and engage in a little friendly teasing--and aren't afraid to go a few rounds in the sparring ring.

It's easy to speedrun a romance when you're spending all your time together in mortal danger fighting for a shared political cause. Especially if you then start winning in a war your people have been fighting for decades. Are you kidding me? That is the perfect environment for intense battle camaraderie to turn into romantic love, and lust.

It makes sense that this version of Chani never believes Paul is any kind of messiah. Of course a character like movie Chani wouldn't believe in or trust some outside savior to liberate them. She's been working to liberate her own people for years. The more Paul invokes the messianic myth, the more he starts sounding once again like someone who plans to rule over them, and the more uncomfortable Chani becomes. In this way she becomes a foil to Jessica, the two of them representing the choices Paul is pulled between. It's a great way of externalizing the political and philosophical debates that often happen within characters' heads in the book.

And of course this version of Chani would leave Paul at the end of the film. It's not just the personal, emotional betrayal--although that stings. What common cause does she have with someone who just declared himself emperor and is sending her own people off in a war of conquest against others? Given the important role she plays in Dune Messiah, I am super curious to see how they get her back into the story, but girl was so valid for being willing to just gtfo. Given that she has the last shot of the whole movie, I'm sure she'll be back somehow, and I can't wait to see what they do with her character in any future installments.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Been thinking about why the argument that OFMD is inherently a bad show because it's based on historical slaveowners so often feels disingenuous to me as a person of color.

HUGE disclaimer up front: if you don't wanna fuck with the show because of that premise right out the gate, that's 100% valid and I completely get that. I'm not talking about that. What I'm specifically talking about is White fandom people in particular who argue that OFMD must be "problematic" because of this, especially when they say this as some kind of virtue-signalling trying to win points in fandom wars, stuff like that.

My big thing is that the resemblance the characters in OFMD have to their real-world namesakes begins and ends with having the same name. The show feels more to me like it's playing with the vague myths around these names, not the people themselves. Can you make an argument that they should have come up with original characters instead? Sure, but let's be honest, even people who study the irl counterparts have very little knowledge of their actual lives, and the average person has all but none. To add to that, this show has absolutely zero interest in historical accuracy; the moment they cast a Jewish-Polynesian man as Blackbeard that became obvious. No one is saying the real-life Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet were good people, least of all the show itself; the point is that OFMD's versions are basically original characters already.

It always feels like an incredibly disingenuous claim to parallel the show to Hamilton, because Hamilton both did care about historical accuracy and also brought up the slave trade. Hamilton is uncomfortable for so many poc because it writes poc into the story of otherwise very faithfully portrayed racists, colonizers, and slaveowners and just handwaves the racism. In OFMD, racism exists, but the stance is always explicitly anti-racist and anti-colonialist in a way that is just so fun to see (whom among us has not wished to skin a racist with a snail fork?).

The other thing that sticks for me is...there's an appropriate amount of slavery I want to see in my romcoms, and that amount is none. I am so sick of historical fiction where Black characters are only there for trauma porn about the horrors of the slave trade. You can make a legitimate argument that OFMD is handwavey about the slave trade, but I'd argue that including discussion of the slave trade is something that should be done with such incredible care that it would leave us with a show that can't really be a comedy at all anymore. OFMD's characters of color are allowed to be nuanced, complex characters with their own emotions, and it's incredibly refreshing to see, and I'd much rather have that than yet another historical fiction show where the only characters of color are only there to make White audiences feel virtuous about how sad they feel for them.

In conclusion, I guess: every yt person who makes this argument to win points in a fandom war owes me and every other fan of color a million dollars

[quinnfebrey]

it’s really funny that taylor has adopted a reputation for being well-read and book smart because every time she opens her mouth about a real world issue i am forcibly reminded that she stopped going into school after 10th grade (her words), and even then, her formal education was provided by the state of tennessee.

because… what?

to frame patriarchy as this inherent thing that has ALWAYS existed and is as naturally occurring as a blue sky, is just not true. and to frame capitalism as this thing that is inherent is also just… not true. i could never unpack in just a post why those claims are ahistorical, but i will say that it is fucking nuts to look at an issue of capitalism and say “yeah it’s a problem, but, well, i’m just going to win at it 🤩” and call it feminism.

and that is the problem with white feminism. it just turns into idiots trying to speak on single topics and cherry pick their agendas, even though, in a sociopolitical or socioeconomic sense, it doesn’t work like that. you cannot talk about feminism without discussing western society, organized religion, global superpowers, communities of color, colonization, climate change, corporations, monopolies and more. anything less is useless at best and misleading at worst.

(because when you don’t, you get brain dead hot takes like “patriarchy has existed since the dawn of time, and so has money!”)

it’s like how greta thunberg said that she started as just a climate change activist, but now she’s basically a total anti-capitalist advocating for a complete disruption and overthrow to the way the world currently runs because she realized that advocating for that and advocating for climate justice are one and the same.

and if you criticize taylor swift for talking out of her ass, you’ll be hit with brainwashed swifties throwing out the word “misogyny” or “you’d never ask another celebrity this” or “you’re holding her to her own standards” because they’ve been hearing taylor’s bullshit feminism for so long that now they’ve adopted it as their own

taylor’s feminism will NEVER surpass the self-serving role it fills in her life because to do so would mean confronting the bigotry she has upheld, the questionable people she spends her time with, the wealth she is hoarding, her impact on the environment, and much more.

which is… fine, i guess. she doesn’t have to be a good feminist. but in that case she needs to pick a side and shut her fucking mouth about it. because letting her romp around spewing out the most egocentric and individualistic interpretations of it is boring and unhelpful.

[violexides]

before people get vicious i want to remind you all of a few things, starting with the fact that third party voters are not to blame for the results of the election, but rather that (1) the democratic party refused to end their genocide at every opportunity and, most influential in this specific case, (2) there has been a substantial rise of right-wing sentiment in this country that is what contributed most directly to the Republican victories we have seen in Congress and in the executive office.

regardless of who entered office, there would have been a substantial need to organize, and we are seeing that now more than ever. this is obviously horrifyingly scary shit, but queer people are resilient, Palestinians are resilient, the Black and Brown and Indigenous people of this country are resilient, the colonized people of the world are resilient. we will be able to organize until every last one of us is dead, so know that there is always something you can do. and that hope is a stronger thing than something one tyrant can end.

this is an interconnected struggle and at no point does our work stop. we don't owe candidates or politicians shit. volunteer with a hotline. call/sign petitions. go out into the streets. create art. form connections with people you may not have talked to before. cook for your friends. connect with unhoused people in your area. talk to the elders in your community. find sanctuary online if you cannot find it in person. politically educate, starting from the absolute basics because that is what is most lost in discourse sometimes. take everything one painful step at a time. maybe you got out of bed, maybe you brushed your teeth, maybe you ate breakfast, maybe you changed clothes-- these are all substantial things, and the movement suffers without you so keep doing them.

this is a terribly scary time in the world for all of us, but it has been a terribly scary time for a while across the world. don't let hopelessness stop you from fighting for the end of the genocide in Palestine, Congo, Sudan, and many other places in the world. know that if you are queer, we have survived worse shit throughout our history, and there are so many more options now for us. we need mutual aid for queer people but also and especially for our siblings of color and our disabled siblings and our poor siblings and our altogether marginalized siblings, from here to Palestine, from Sudan to West Papua, from Tigray to Kurdistan, from Armenia to Congo, from the world to the world.

i don't take a second of my time on earth for granted and i haven't for a few years. i am really fucking scared right now, i have been for months and months but it's taken a new form. but, today, the sun is out and shining on my bedroom floor. i brushed my teeth and i'm going to eat some grapes now. my professor sent a kind email. i have a lot of work to do. i have to get busy loving a lot of people.

eat what it takes to survive. sleep what it takes to survive. talk what it takes to survive. learn what it takes to survive. love what it takes to survive. live where it takes to survive. these are our fundamentals. and know that from there, we organize and we fight for something better than survival.

i am not losing my family, my found family, my friends, my peers, my professors, my roommates, my community like this. we gotta get busy.

take as long as you need to grieve. i have been grieving for a long time (this past year, for Palestine; my lifetime, for Iraq) and will grieve these results for the next four years. but understand that no matter who wins any presidential election, we have to organize. we can learn from our past here. i don't care if it's a bush in office, an obama in office, a trump in office, a biden or a harris in office, we have work to do because they won't do it for us.

Palestine and the occupied nations and people of the world will be free. they will not make martyrs of all of us. the struggle will continue so long as we are all free. victory is assured so long as the struggle continues.

i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you as hard as i hate the empire. this hate and this love forges what we need to keep this struggle alive, until victory and liberation for us all.

[alpaca-clouds]

The Inner Contradition of Capitalism

Okay, let me talk about something that I took away from several books I have read during the last few months: Capitalism is shitty.

"No shit," you might say. "You needed to read a book for that?"

No, of course I knew that before. I knew before that capitalism is shitty for about 90% of people who have to live under it - and of course for the environment as well. There is a reason I am an anarcho communist and Solarpunk.

However, there is another thing about this: Capitalism is shitty, even for those who are "winning it". While there is very little resaerch on the mental health of the super rich, because most of them obviously do not want to participate in this research, there were some very, very few of them allowed research to happen. And here is the thing: There is some evidence that if you acquire riches to a certain point you might actually get better. You are gonna be a bit less stressed and worried until you reach that point.

But "that point" is actually fairly low - from modern capitalism's point of view. While the few papers existing on it might disagree, but generally speaking it is somewhere between 1 and 3 million. Basically it is the kind of money, where you actually can live just from the money you already have, as long as you do not live in abundance and just relax into a normal lifestyle, rahter than getting a villa and yacht.

But here is the thing: As soon as you are richer than that, research suggests, you will actually get more and more miserable.

Now, again, we just have very little in terms of multimillionaires, yet alone billionaires, who will allow for psychologists and neurologists to actually do studies on this. So we have very few data points from where to extrapolate.

But what we have greatly suggests that the more money they get, the more unhappy and more angry they become.

Additionally there is quite a lot of research that suggests that there is indeed a particular personality profile, that will get into those positions. And that personality profile actually has probably also to do a lot with previous abuse.

Don't get me wrong: I absolutely deteste billionaires. I think they are the source for a lot of the ills in our world. They are horrible humans with so much blood on their fingers. However... In some regards I also pity them. Because if you look at them, you do know that... they are not actually happy, are they?

Will they try to tell you they are? Absolutely. But they are not. They are unhappy, and more than anything they are driven by the fear to lose the stuff they have. Because they know how easy that is - and fear how miserable they could be.

And sure, they will claim how much they work and how great they are for it - because we have this idea of meritocracy in our heads. But... That is also bullshit, and they do kinda know it.

As I wrote about yesterday, I have recently read the non-fiction book "The Dawn of Everything", and within the book there are actually quite a few examples of people, who during earlier times of colonization and the conflicts between indigenous people and colonizers, had been kidnapped and taken as hostage by the indigenous. And... a lot of them were freed, only to return and realize, that the life of the indigenous people was just a whole lot better. And quite a few of these hostages decided on their own will to return living with the indigenous people who had taken them hostage.

And yes, in one case this included one of the superrich at the time.

And this to me is the thing: Capitalism as it is, does not make anyone happy. There really are no winners here. There are only losers. No matter who, everyone is worse of because of it. There is nobody here, who might be profiting. Even those who seem to be profiting are actually for the most part miserable.

I honestly do wonder a lot, why this even could happen. It is a question that the book poses a lot, it never finds an answer. Because technically humans were always more intelligent than this. We were more intelligent than creating society in a way that most of us were so darn unhappy.

We talk so much about the "winners" of capitalism. But the truth is, that they do not exist. Because from what little data we have, there is actually good indication, that those who "won capitalism" and truly gave away most of that money (rather than just putting it into a self-controlled trust), were the only ones who became happy.

[i-cant-believe-its-not-filler]

Some people are really unironically being like, no we can't boycott eurovision! If we do that then the people who support Israel will still vote and then Israel will win! Vote for countries other than Israel you guys!!!

Respectfully, are you stupid or are you dumb? Sure, let's send money directly to the pro genocide organisation who have made their views crystal clear by now. The people in charge have tripled down or turned a blind eye on specific matters very intentionally, clearly showing us what eurovision represents now.

In fact, I hope Israel does win this year. More than a monster, I despise a neutral ass bitch. So, let them win and show the world what Europe really stands for. Since eurovision is such a representation of all we are, or whatever the argument for keeping this shit show running is.

Let's build the next stadium on occupied land. Let's sing our kooky little songs on top of bombed and leveled homes. Let's dance on the mass grave of the thousands of people slaughtered until our feet bleed. Just as long as we can pink wash this deeply shitty thing and drown out the pleas of the suffering with loud music and wacky costumes, it'll all be OK! Gotta keep the party going, am I right?

Get a fucking grip. Either boycott and protest like the rest of us or stand with the colonizers with your entire chest like Europe always has. Shilling for eurovision as it stands won't bring back the idealized version of it you hold in your head.

There is a way to get your campy fun filled no politics all party song contest back. Throwing money and attention at the currently shambling corpse masquerading as that is definitely not that way, however.

[skyrim-forever]

Possibly controversial post but I deeply don’t want tes vi to focus on a war between the Empire and the Dominion. Because I can see it as either going one of two ways:

1) The Empire wins and colonizes another land

2) The Dominion wins and continues their colonization

And quite frankly I don’t really wanna play a game of pick the colonizer from between two terrible empires. Mer getting slaughtered sounds awful but the Thalmor also have incredibly insidious plans so them winning is just as bad.

I really hope the next game is over a hundred years in from the events of Skyrim. Perhaps the war has already happened and is in the history books (would prefer if the Dominion pulled out of mainland Tamriel and the Empire just focuses on Cyrodiil but that might be too much to ask for). I don’t want it to be within the games living memory, because I don’t find that kind of conflict fun.

I would like the story to be something fresh and new, like the war becomes like oblivion crisis where it’s mentioned and important historical event but the plot is something else. Let’s brainstorm ideas! I’m cool with a Daedra attack (again!), evil wizard is always cool, more involvement from the Aedra, idk the Dwemer return???

Literally anything but having to pretend I care about a war again. Especially when everyone involved sucks and there’s no way to opt out.

But I am likely asking for too much

[somethinginworl]

He would not fucking say that - Kirby franchise edition (Results)

Well! Seems like a lot of people had a lot to say about mischaracterized Kirby characters, as a matter of fact, there were a whooping 57 entries! Well, let’s get going with them, shall we? Just,,, beware that this is a LOOONG post.

Haltmann

The dude 100% did fucked up shit and needs to be held accountable but people seem to so easily forget the degree he was influenced/corrupted by Star Dream. I don't understand why people hate Haltmann and love Star Dream who is arguably the actual reason HWC started colonizing and draining planets. Also the fact that Haltmann isn't conventionally attractive to the majority of the fandom makes him less sympathetic ig?? But the dude is a grieving father who made mistakes that sent him down a spiral into being corrupted and then deleted by a heartless machine. I can't help but pity him

Prince Fluff

Go on ao3. Look in his tag on tumblr. He exists only to be Kirby or Shadow Kirby's love interest most of the time, with no personality of his own.

He barely gets recognized anymore, and if he does, it's usually as a ship Prince Fluff was a big part of my childhood, with Epic Yarn being my first game. To me, he was Kirby's fellow main character, and they had a cool sibling/best friend relationship. But now, a lot of what I see of him is just . . . Kirfluff. Which is cool and all, but man's a prince! He can do more than be a boyfriend! Heck, he runs an entire kingdom by himself! One thing that I want to see more of is Fluff as a stressed but caring ruler, not just a sidekick/boyfriend to the pink puff. Give yarn boy his deserved appreciation!.

Dark Meta Knight

Hello! I am here to spread the good word of a character with no personality. It's the mirror thing. Of course.  Dark Meta Knight has No Personality. Zero. Nada. Zilch. He's Meta Knight but Dark. What does that mean? Your guess. He fights Meta Knight. And wins lmao skill issue blueboy. And fights Kirby. And loses a few times, which isn't surprising. He was dumb enough to split Kirby in four, though. Four times the Kirby is four times the amount your ass is grass. You're practically a forest at that point because you're so grass. So he's violent and has no personality outside of being violent. Woo! Triple Deluxe has him attack Dedede in Dededetour inside the Mirror. This has led people to think he fucked over Sectonia. This makes my heart bleed as much as Taranza probably did when he was punted off of Royal Road via Fuck You Lightning Ball. My man just has no sense of timing,,,, They just wanted to include a Meta Knight battle because Knight Battles are a Kirby standard at this point,,, You think a man that stupid can figure out how to take advantage of a woman's insecurity? I don't even know if he knows women exist. How many female Amazing Mirror characters are there??? Boxy??? Moley mentions having a wife once and Dameta doesn't know what he means. But other than being driven to immense violence and being scapegoated for the stuff his boss probably did, Dameta has other hobbies! Like whatever his motivation in Star Allies is. Something dastardly, I'm sure. People really like to pretend he's not part of the Star Ally club when my man is doodling with toddlers and posing with his less cool less edgy self. Would a villain have a silly little we heart kirby statue? No, didn't think so. Also I cannot imagine him as a dad to Shadkirby either. Do they even interact? I've seen both "Amazing dad" and "Outright abusive" as interpretations and I can't go with either. But I think that's because I don't enjoy Metadad that much. They're like awkward coworkers. He thinks they're student and mentor. They're not even that. Dameta barely knows Shadow exists.

Dark Meta Knight is very popularly characterized as like an abusive parent, usually physically abusive. Mainly to Shadow Kirby, of course. He's an asshole, yeah, but not THAT bad, christ. I've seen multiple fics where Shadow Kirby is some poor little hey what t the fuck hes fighting himself. um. Back to being a hater.

Shadow Kirby

Some folks still think he's shy/cowardly like from the Amazing Mirror Days. Not really true anymore. From what fans have seen from the ending of the game, he does protect the Mirror World. As for the spin off games that include him, he's pretty tough and even creates mischief sometimes.

Shadow Kirby is constantly treated as an "evil" Kirby. Especially bad after Fighters and fighters two. Not to mention "Parallel Kirby". There's also a strangely common trend of making them more sapient than pink Kirby, who tends to be infantilised to hell and back. Shadow Kirby also is often treated as a complete coward who can't do anything right, when they aren't called evil.

He's shown as completely different in several different occasions, not only in personality but in design I like shadow kirby he's purple and then he's not

Dark Taranza

Dark Taranza, gonna be honest what little characterization people give him are actually okay compared to the rest. But I'm still a hater and hang on im watching jerma clips. okay. He's like Sectonia if Sectonia was Taranza if that makes sense.

Shadow Dedede

Shadow Dedede barely gets shit but I'm going to be a little hater anyways. I don't like most characterizations. I see people make him like a dictator like bro he's literally just some guy.

Sectonia

have you seen how often people say that  sectonia and taranza were boyfriend and girlfriend in canon?????? they were never!!! shes the gosh dang final boss but shes only ever used to give taranza angst. she is her own person with a personality!!!! yes their backstories are interconnected but gosh!!!!

This not too prominent but I can't stand it when people portray her as an uwu shy girl pre-corruption. While she gave in her worst aspects, she was probably always a kind of vain, girlboss! I mean she knows how to fight with rapiers c'mon!!!

idk it just feels like lots of people just see her as Taranza's tragic dead wife and like nothing else you know? like she is more than that and I feel like what little content we have of her proves that (like the soul boss descriptions (especially the original japanese text of the 2nd phase!!) and the eternal dream song) - or maybe im reading too much into those because im hyperfixating on my blorbo whoops

Kine

I'm not sure how true this opinion is considering how little people talk about Kine, I feel this is partially the anime's fault, or maybe its because of how he just looks, but Kine is cool and is not some stupid loser fish. Before the days of Crystal Shards, Him, Kirby, Rick & Coo were the dream team at the time, always hanging out going, with various activities long before the days of Meta Knight or even Dedede. Kine is an awesome aquatic rep for the Kirby series not to mention drinking and being a pirate and Kine even has a Wife! Kine has got it! I guess this is a partial compliant of Ship of Theseus which can be applied with Rick & Coo too, but I feel Kine gets the most hate if any because of people who are unfamiliar just see a dopey fish and are unaware of his origins and his past with Kirby. I'm not upset with the current representation of the Kirby cast (I love the RTDL team being the main crew) but I do hope the animal buddies get some more love, Especially Kine.

Dedede

reduced to his significantly less in-depth and compelling characterization from the anime

Anime Dedede.

Magolor

one time i read a series of fanfictions where he called every female character in the story a bitch and was portrayed as the good guy in the story

Is it possible to both be flanderized and woobified at the same time? There is a lot of "removing his responsibility for his actions" but can we get better jokes than "hehe Microtransgolor hehe scammer egg”

Always an uwu soft boy. Like no that is a criminal not a catboy.

Bro would never be intimidated by Magolor

Marx

People either portray him as a edgy sociopath or constantly bored and annoyed. Portraying him as an adult or a teen kinda annoys me as well. I'm very picky about portrayals of Marx so don't get upset if you portray him as one of these I've listed.

Sometimes I see people only joking about the "hungry so he came along" thing with Marx and it's pretty overdone

They took one look at him and said “to the insane asylum bitch”. I don’t think he’s some crazy murder hobo rather a dude with questionable morals and puts his own mischief and fun before others it seems. Though Marx is indeed one of the least “character” characters when I mean he doesn’t have much depth in comparison to other characters. But you could do anything else than have him follow the Jevil path of him being crazy. Make him evil? Sure. Make him a cringefail idiot? Sure. Make him a crybaby bitch? Go ahead. But making him the definition of what a 14 year old white girl in New Jersey that probably is addicted to Instagram and thinks Webtoon comics are the highest level of art and storytelling’s definition of insane doesn’t cut it cuz. Slapping the spaz label without a thought of what’s being done on a character who fits the mark makes the Schizoid peeved who coulda known. As this is all coming from the one person who has likely ruined Marx’s character the most for Kirblur by making him a somewhat empathetic manchild who clings to both pipe dreams of normality and being a monster btw. (Also this doesn’t mean jokes, you can joke about him being a psycho like Jerma it’s when it’s taken 100% seriously is when it’s bad).    Also to add on, Woobification of Marx or any Kirby character period CAN be annoying if taken too far. I take full responsibility in the fact my variant is also woobifed to an extent but that train full of ticking bombs doesn’t bother me as much. Make him sadcry and be gay he deserves both those things. Send him to sad hell with the rest of them.

To the anon above... What?

Making him stupid or reducing him to just Silly Clown. Or just having him act in purely impulsive or spontaneous ways (which sometimes happens when juxtaposed with a more "collected" character like Magolor).

Daroach

this is something i’ve noticed specifically in chatfics, but when daroach is in the ensemble some of them tend to designate him as the Goofy Meme Dumbass for… idk, fandom quota? i really don’t know why it happens because he has a bunch of canon dialogue (and alternate continuity stuff like the novels) that show him to be cool and clever. i’m not saying he can’t have a sense of humor or anything (he’s definitely the type to have a bunch of quips), but it sucks when he’s mischaracterized because the fandom doesn’t give him that much attention as is. if you NEED a silly haha guy, marx is right there!”

Morpho Knight

"Morpho Knight is a creature of mercy. It's a benevolent entity putting tired souls to rest." NO?! I'm going to copy-paste some stuff I put in a post of my own. A while back, SYZekrom on Reddit translated Morpho Knight's entry, and it contains some... interesting information. Allow me to provide some excerpts. "He’s a red knight with butterfly wings, continuing from a pair of white wings like an angel’s, and a pair of azure wings with a bit of an evil feel." This is the first of two instances where Morpho Knight is outright stated to be evil. There's also stuff in the art book that supports my theory that Galacta and Morpho are permanently fused and the former is not dead, but I don't want to get carried away. These are its gacha figure descriptions in Forgotten Land: "The fluttering fiend that casts judgment upon final battles is drawn toward the isolated isles of Forgo Dreams. There, it feasts on the most powerful soul it finds and takes the fearsome form of a scarlet-clad knight… Let the most challenging battle of this new world begin!" –English "One of the dreaming birds, which are said to pass judgement upon decisive battles, drifts towards a forgotten, isolated isle as if summoned. There, it sips upon the strongest Soul and descends as a red knight. Finally, welcome the dusk… of the deadliest battle in this New World!"  –Japanese While at first glance there doesn't seem to be any information of note, the "fluttering fiend" bit in the English version is outright stating Morpho Knight is evil, and the phrase "he deadliest battle in this New World" doesn't sound particularly heroic. But I digress... Morpho is NOT a good person! This is clearly leading up to a villain vs hero confrontation! Which, may I add, implies that reaping Galacta Knight wasn't necessarily a good thing for it to do?!

Elfilis

elfilis is NOT entirely malicious. they would gladly accept hugs and kisses. being in a fucking capsule ALONE and AWARE for likely CENTURIES will DO SOMETHING TO YOU YOU KNOW?? god fucking DAMN dude... and after the ending of the true arena in the game, WILLINGLY GAVE THEMSELF UP TO ELFILIN. also they're not fucking DEAD you PSYCHOPAYHS elfilis is STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE!!!!!!! RUUAAAGGGH!!!!!!!!!!

Susie

Being Evil or being a Sad uwu girl who has had bad things happen to her seems to be the only way most people can portray this character.

Susie isn't a friend. She's selfish and wanted to take over the company. Her "redemption" is pointing Kirby at the world-ending machine, gives him armor, and then stands around. She doesn't even know his name. The closest she does for good is tell Kirby to do something he would've done on his own.

My girl really became the subject of hate thanks to a mistranslation. I mean yeah she likes robots and shit but the fact that people think she is a terrible person and that she's still colonizing planets makes me upset. i blame the translation team for everything.

When people say she has fully redeemed herself and is reduced to cishet, pretty girl??? Like no, star allies mistranslation my ass you fell for her corporate propaganda. The female characters in this franchise, while lovable, is not nearly as popular as a lot of the male ones. HAL literally gave us a morally grey girlboss who we can still sympathise with. She actually feels like a very real character in this fictional world.

You Know How People Are About Her

she's not even my blorbo!!!!!! everyone thinks she's a huge evil bitch who has done terrible genuinely unspeakable things. i read a fic that went on and on abt the horrible things she "did" to meta knight when he was mechanized (things so bad i cant even say) and i was pulling my hair out she did not fucking do any of that!!!! yes the universe can have pretty dark moments but good lord people only use her to woobify meta knight and give fuel to ship him with others and it pisses me off lol. or people go too far the other way and woobify HER to ship with him and aughhhh no one has a shred of media literacy. she's not purely good or purely evil she's such a complex character who did bad things because she was in a bad situation and the best example of a morally grey character who's on no one's side but herself and that will always be more interesting that 100% good or 100% evil. once again she's not even my blorbo but i've never seen a character butchered this badly by a fandom

Because of mistranslation (from what I've heard) Susie's whole mechanizing planets has been the number one thing when it came to susie hate and the only reason as to why people hate this girl so much. Honestly Susie's character has been fucked up immensely and no one has such a divided spread of opinions like she does. Some people brush away her backstory and make her a soulless being with no love whatsoever.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Susie Haltmann. I cannot with the fandom interpretations anymore. It's ridiculous how bad they've gotten. Susie is a two dimensional character. I absolutely despise seeing people portray her as some sort of greedy capitalist bastard and "the one with the braincell". In canon, she's consistently been portrayed as a sweet person (with a knack for violence, but EVERYONE in this series is like that). Everything bad she did in Planet Robobot was FOR WORK and the will of HER FATHER, and even if she did want to do the things she did, she's clearly not doing them any more. The "mechanizing planets and peoples" line in Star Allies is a mistranslation. And the "punishing savages" doesn't have to mean anything bad. It could mean she's punishing evildoers with her money and resources. In fact, I've seen some translations put it like that And Meta Knight... is just the straw that broke the camel's back. Oh lord. Why does everyone insist that he hates her? There's the little scene in Star Allies... but god, that isn't canon, it's clearly a joke. If anything, Susie might have been trying to talk to him and he was just trying to avoid her in a misinterpretation of the situation. It's supposed to be funny. Why are you imposing this onto people like this automatically makes Susie a devil incarnate and anything involving those two characters in problematic? Just shut up.

Meta Knight

Everyone thinks he’s just the ‘edgy character’ or ‘the uncaring mentor figure’ while in actuality he really does care for Kirby (and Bandana Dee) more than anyone gives him credit for!

Everyone either makes him all broody and lonesome, like shadow the hedgehog or batman; or they make him a goofy dad, like Dedede or Hugh Neutron. In reality, he's a weird uncle with unknown motivations, simultaneously selfish and practical. Also, he doesn't hide the fact that he likes sweets, he eats them away from everyone so no one steals them (Dedede and Squeak Squad).

He's not Kirby's fucking dad! He's an irresponsible uncle that hands out swords! And he is definitely in love with dedede, he is the only other dramatic bitch willing to build a skyscraper to beat up kirby (I am using intense anger for comedic effect) 

HES A FUCKING TWINK ASS FRUITY ASS MOTHERFUCKING CRINGEFAIL MAN. HE NEEDS TO HAVE HIS PERSONALITY INTERPRETED AS BOTH THE MANGA AND THE GAMES. YES HE IS MYSTERIOUS BUT HE ALSO WOULD TRIP AND FALL OVER HIMSELF. I NEED STAR ALLIES KICKING SWORD PISSED. I NEED MANGA ROSES BITCHASS META. I NEED THAT PARTICULAR VERSION OF MY BOY meat knight RIGHT NOW. meta knight is cringefail. half of the fandom agrees the other half does not. im explode.

He wants to look cool so bad but he is actually a huge fucking goofy goober. Any representation of Meta Knight being a badass is propaganda made by Meta Knight himself to convince you he’s cool. I mean have you seen his RTDL Deluxe pause screen description? King Dedede’s and Bandana Dee’s are in first person, but his is in third person? He’s literally talking about himself in the third person like hello????? Meta Knight is such a fucking lame goofy little man who thinks he’s the most badass motherfucker on the planet.

To fair this has been less common lately but back during 2014-2016 MK was usually portrayed in fanart/fanfic as either this wise veteran or cold edgelord. He is just an unhindged!!! Silly!!! Guy!!! He can be cool and cringefail!!! But he is also compassionate in his own aloof, awkward way!!! 

i am not a big fan of the metadede ship. i think people are shipping for the sake of having a ship and nothing else. As someone with a severely underrepresented orientation (aromantic and asexual), when I see a character I like, I will project onto said character. This is the case with my interpretation of Meta Knight. I saw a cool character that I liked who a) doesn’t have any canon love interests and b) didn’t really need a whole ton of friends/significant others to be happy with life. Meta Knight always seemed to be perfectly content with the friends he has on Popstar and his crew and everyone in the anime, so I looked to him for hope that I could live the same way. I was open to the metadede ship at first, but as time passed, I felt less and less comfortable with it. It seemed to me that people were so hungry for gay ships that they just pulled this one out of thin air courtesy of Kirby Fighters 2, which is to my knowledge the only piece of media that somewhat supports this. Why can’t people just be happy with MK and Dedede being friends or frenemies? I’m probably starting drama with this bc I know how popular metadede is on Tumblr so I apologize for upsetting you if that is the case.  But I also feel that I shouldn’t apologize just because I have a different opinion.

I dislike how "pathetic" the fandom has made him out to be. I don't like it when he's portrayed as overpowered but... "pathetic, whiny manlet" could not be further from the truth. How did we get to that?

Kirby

Often people make Kirby more dependent on others than he actually is. He's an extremely independent person that literally cannot be stopped by anyone who tries to get in his way

ik its been covered to death but matpat made that video about how kirby is evil and completely ignored the themes of friendship and kindness that are present throughout the entire series

dude hes not a baby. he drinks in the manga adukt kirbies are a fine interp god. and hes not a godkiller or some shit he just fights for his friends hes not some terrifying monster kirby is literally just some friendly guy. strong yeah but just some guy. he fights strong entities incidentally lol

The anime portrays them as a literal infant, and due to its overprevalence (despite not being in the same stream of canon as the games), this is often their characterization in the fandom.  Canonically, they indeed are a child (at most, they'd probably be a teen in the modern games), but they are old enough to talk, and they demonstrate a high amount of emotional and even technical intelligence.

Admittedly, this is one that usually only happens to people outside the fandom, but it bugs me when people portray Kirby as a sort of immoral monster who only does good things on accident. When it’s quite the opposite! He may not be incredibly bright, but he does his best to help people. Oddly enough, there’s not many cases of “he would not say that” in the fandom for me because of how loose Kirby’s story is. It is lore heavy but the actual characters aren’t super concrete save for a few and I think that’s perfectly fine

People forget that their air bullet!! is an attack!! its literally one of their only ways of dealing damage in DL1!!! I’m looking at you Smash Bros!!! Why isn’t it their nair?????????

making them a toddler who cant speak for themself

I swear everyone outside of the fandom sees Kirby as either a braincell infant or  a merciless force of mass destruction

Taranza

WHAT DIDN'T THEY DO!?!?!? Taranza, as we see him in Triple Deluxe, is such a fun villain. He's dramatic, arrogant, a total suck-up to Sectonia, and it's so. Fucking. Good. He's a devious bastard, he monologues!!! His animations in the Clash games are so fucking campy and dramatic it's chefs kiss!!!! Fanon Taranza is as plain as white bread. Sometimes as pale as it, looking at some of the gijinkas. No shade though! As little shade as there is melanin in him lmAO- He is flanderised to hell and back. There are so. Many. Fucking. Taranzas who happen to be nothing but sad and weepy about his evil dead wife. Where's the bite!!! The pizzazz!!! Even in canon, when he is a bit of a wet sack later on, he still hunts for an altar he can bring her back on. My boy's a wannabe necromancer!!! Write that shit in your lost lenore Sectonia fic you fucking cowards Queen's Phantom ain't just for show. The above is also evidence for woobification! The fucker is obviously sad his crush is dead! But can we pleeease focus on anything else. This is definitely not targeted at Hal Labs. Imagine being woobied so hard your creators backtrack your personality I would just die. "Ehehe he's the responsible mage!!" No the fuck he isn't he can't be trusted with anything he tries take control it WILL blow up in his face. He knows magic he's good at magic but is he responsible??? Fuck no my man's strongest attack is "Blow myself the fuck up via a giant burst of magic" and it shreds. Even worse is the "Taranza got mind-controlled by Sectonia" theory in tandem with this. That wasn't confirmed right. Right. God I hope not that would be embarrassing. He can't even have a moment to realise his devotion has gone too far and she doesn't love him or even care for him, and he has to finally make that decision to free himself from her like ain't that cool!!! And then making him all sad over her afterwards it's just a Little Fucked if you're tryna put it all together eh. Eh. And he's not suuuper objectified (That usually goes to Seccy rest in piss girlie) but the way he's treated in some ships is. Eugh. Fucking Magoranza amirite he's basically there to look responsible and cute (I've already explained my issue with this) and to fix the tortured soul who is Magolor (I do not like Magolor. Nor Magoranza.) Tbh Sectaranza does the same he's there to be tragic because his girlie's dead. When you give him less personality than the dead cardboard cutout you know you fucked up. Anyways these ramblings are here to remind you what Hal Labs stole from us: Taranza but not a TOTAL saddo. Theatre kid Taranza. Arrogant prick. He's even British.

For the anon above me, I just wanted to say that this entry is probably my favorite and lives rent free in my mind.

I'm definitely guilty of it and it's all we have to go off of but PLEASE he needs more than to be Sad. Give him hobbies and interests that aren't just gardening, at least. Make stuff up about him, please!

So, SO many people make him an absolute crybaby over Sectonia. Even though, yes, he has grief problems, it's not his whole freaking personality. Pretty sure they're forgetting the fact that he LITERALLY HELPED KILL HER.

Taranza is not just a little pathetic guy!! He’s a bitch— a little schemer if you will !!! He’s smug—he’s formal—he’s a little fucker!!! Taranza needs a new partner and that partner is me

Oddly enough I do think people make him out to be a bit too much of a goody two shoes. Like he has done some mean things in the past and it wasn’t all Sectonia’s fault, he literally *stole* the Dimensional Mirror after all. Don’t get me wrong I think he’s a good person in the end, but cmon. He has committed crimes

Taranza in some corners of the fandom has kinda been turned into this forever crying baby who can never recover from losing Joronia and like, I never see people who do that write about the recovery and being able to move on to the final stage of grief.

HE IS NOT A SIMP, MY GOD

Everyone needs to stop reducing him to pathetic simp. He is allowed to grieve but he's probably one of the more mature characters within the series???

People disregard everything else about his character to make his tragic relationship with sectonia his only character trait. Not sure if this quite counts as woobifying since he does canonically still mourn her (and obviously seeing a close friend/crush go down the path of self destruction and ultimately die from it WOULD NOT be something you'd get over quickly). But I'm so tired of taranza in fanart and the like being an uwu softboy with Crying as his main character trait. Like he's canonically more than that! He goes full cocky villain mode when you confront him near the end of triple deluxe and he can pack a punch in star allies with his magic! If you're going to write about him prove that you don't just know about the guy from twitter artwork!

And here’s a graph!

Anyways, thanks everyone for your submissions! What I’ve learned here is important: We’re all fucking delusional.

[describe-things]

notfriendlyhougen said 2 hours ago

not reblogging to feed the trolls or whatever but @describe-things please get those pride flags the fuck off of your profile if you actually care so little about queer people and the like by not voting in support of them

[ID: A screenshot of the reply showing the text above. End ID.]

@notfriendlyhougen "stop letting people make their art accessible if you don't support genocide"

ok fascist. You really think you can use Queer people as an excuse to support genocide. You're really that dedicated to pinkwashing genocide to uphold white supermacy you're gonna get mad that I provide people with accessability tools. Do you not understand how pathetically racist and queermisic this is?

You cannot fucking claim you support Queer people if you're going to use our existance to uphold genocide. You are not supporting Queer people by using us as a bludgeon with which to uphold white supremacy and genocide.

Legitimately what has to be wrong with you to make a statement like this. "stop providing people with accessibility tools if you won't support genocide"

Yeah, no, that's not how this works. You do not get to use Queer people to support genocide.

None of us are free until all of us are free. You cannot fucking sacrifice Palestinians or anyone else to win "freedom".

You racist fascist shitheads do not get to pinkwash genocide and pretend that Queer minorities are the "real villains" when we refuse to play your fascist racist genocidal game.

What part of "Queer as in free Palestine" do you not understand.

I am lesbian and transgender. I am a working-class, secular Jewish socialist. So let my first words be these: I stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Arab and Muslim people in this room and around the world in the battle against the real axis of evil: the White House, Pentagon and Justice Department. And with every breath and every sinew, I fight for Palestinian liberation.

-Leslie Feinberg at the Al-Fatiha international retreat in Washington DC in the spring of 2002

@notfriendlyhougen you will never get Queer liberation without Palestinian liberation. White Supremacy and Genocide will never pave the way for Queer liberation.

Don't you fucking dare tell actual Queer fucking minorities that we're harming ourselves by giving a shit about people suffering literal gods damned genocide. Don't you fucking dare try to use us as a weapon to silence opposition to white supremacy and colonization.

Voting for Genocide is never voting for the rights of Queer people. And the fact that you want to pretend otherwise just goes to show how despicably fucking evil you've allowed yourself to become.

You want to pretend you care about Queer people but you really only mean Privileged White American Queers. You don't give a single shit about anyone else.

Just fucking say you want to go back to brunch and leave fucking Queer people who actually have morals out of your fucking excuses for why you think it's okay to uphold colonialism, white supremacy, and literal out and out genocide.

There is no Pride in genocide. You cannot fucking weaponize us to support genocide.

I hope you spend every waking moment of the rest of your life suffering in shame for what you've done and what you're going to do.

Don't you fucking dare pretend you care about Queer people when you're fine with them being slaughtered on live TV as long as you think it'll benefit you.

You are not taking a stance for Queer rights. You are willingfully and proudly supporting genocide and white supremacy. And you do not get to fucking weaponize Queer people to justify it.

The fucking gall to demand I stop providing people with accessability tools because I refuse to support genocide. Do you have any fucking clue how absurdly racist and queermisic you are?

[dionysia-ta-astika]

LARPing

I was accused of LARPing again. I get accused of LARPing, and of hubris, by people who see that I don't worship the gods properly, so I must not take them seriously. I am told that I have not been initiated. That the gods will strike me down, and put me in my place and then I'll be sorry. And I was sorry. I wept.

You kicked down the door with a big box of costumes, painted green with gold clasps. And you sat atop it with a winning smile. You asked me, “What shall we play? “Let's play pirates, and ride on the high seas, and turn the sailors into dolphins. “Let's play wizards, knights and castles. Grab your sword, and your armor, and your book of spells, and we'll save a princess from a dragon. “Let's slay Medusa, like you did once when you were seven, using your fairy princess wand as a sword, swinging it by the star until it broke. “You were Perseus, then. You climbed on Pegasus' back, and he took you to Olympus, where we, your siblings, waited for you.”

I asked, “Why wasn't I struck down like Bellerophon?”

And you said, “There's a big difference between being invited, and kicking down the door claiming you deserve to be there.”

I look at the box and I say, “I want to play Shaman.”

I know how problematic that is. I know that shamans are spiritual leaders from Siberia I know how insulting it is for a colonizer like me to imitate Native Americans as a childish game, Dressing up in fur and feathers like a bad Halloween costume And listening to New Agey "tribal" music While I dance around an altar that I built out of feathers and rocks and other natural talismans I'd collected and little figures of deer and elephants and leopard-print scarves spread under a fake plastic campfire that burned in the center of it all.

But I remember how it felt. It felt powerful. It felt ancient.

You smile and say, “It was powerful, and it was ancient. “You were not imitating any real indigenous rituals, except to burn sage and call it "smudging." “Everything else was your own. It was your ritual. A child, reaching back, back through the mists of time “To find the oldest ritual in the book. “Before there was theatre, there was LARPing. “Before there was writing, there was dance.”

And I said, “Lord of Dappled Pelts, give me that feeling back.” You open the box. Inside are fawnskins and leopard skins, feathers, bones, animal skulls, Rough-hewn masks, with empty staring eyes, as primeval as the soil. You put a horned mask on my face, and dress me in furs, and braid feathers into my hair and put a necklace of bones around my neck that rattles with every step. Before there was theater, there was LARPing. There was the shaman, in their animal mask, behaving as the animal does, dancing round and round the ritual fire until they don't know the difference between man and beast, real and unreal, day and night. And you are there, where you've always been, in the dance. Casting the illusion over our eyes. The mask is a glamour, the stage, a farce. Storytelling itself, an enchantment cast over an audience as they watch and listen, enraptured, fully believing what they feel and see. It is old magic. I found my gods by LARPing. I put on a white sheet, like a makeshift peplos, and made an olive crown out of pipe cleaners and construction paper and gold glitter and I drank nothing but white grape juice, the blood of the vine, and pretended it was ambrosia, and it was. I threw my paper leaves and thought the gods were listening, and they were. Back then, I didn't ask whether they were real or not, or whether what I was doing was historically accurate or not, or whether I was guilty of hubris for pretending that I, too, was a god. You and I dance around our ritual fire decorated with stones, and feathers, and figurines grapevines, pinecones, and phallic objects and other fetishes, wearing our pelts and our animal masks. I lose my name, my face, my gender. I am made and unmade. In the primeval woods, in a time before the dawn of civilization, industry, writing, art, theatre religion, liturgy, sacrifice, humanity itself, we were LARPing.

[soulmate-game]

Yes, I know AO3 is back up. But I gotta finish what I started.

—*—*—*—*—*

The Heroes’ Game

Prev ….. Next.

Chapter 2:

“There has to be a way to turn this off,” Marinette seemed to be talking mostly to herself. After the bat boys made sure the three traffickers were picked up, they relocated Marinette to the empty rooftop of a building they owned. Not that she knew that, but it was the best way to insure nobody came up to see them. The smaller girl was pacing, despite the disorientation that came with seeing herself pace as she paced. Robin seemed to feel that same disorientation, rubbing his forehead in what could have been pain but was probably annoyance as well.

Batman and Nightwing could only watch as words tumbled out of the girl’s mouth faster than they could comprehend all of them. It was such an odd sight; a silent Robin brooding in place and rubbing his temples while the small Asian girl in pigtails rambled and paced.

They could hardly believe they were soulmates, but if Robin hadn’t denied it yet then it had to be true.

“At least it isn’t a physical mark,” Batman managed to interject into Marinette’s panic. She looked up at him, instantly cutting off her verbal vomit. “But how about you two explain exactly what your mark is so we can understand?”

“Yeah, don’t leave us hanging,” Nightwing agreed with a smile. Sure, it was incredibly inconvenient and not at all ideal for one of them to meet their soulmate in uniform. But, none of them exactly had a say in that. The best they could do was roll with the punches and Nightwing wasn’t gonna let a little right hook from Fate keep him down for long.

“It’s annoying,” Robin surprisingly answered first, lowering his hand to cross his arms over his broad chest again. Marinette turned to him, just then realizing that Robin hadn’t looked away from her for longer than a few seconds since their bond had first formed. “Our vision is cut in half, like a two-player game screen. One side is my usual point of view, the other side is the point of view through her eyes.”

Batman and Nightwing tensed, processing. Marinette didn’t notice, considering she had narrowed her focus back onto the concrete of the roof below her and decided to contribute to the explanation.

“I think that’s exactly what it is,” she agreed, unknowingly making everyone look over at her. “I didn’t notice it before, but— look, Robin. In the bottom left hand corners,” she pointed to something only Robin and herself could see. “It says Player One and Player Two. In red and—oh, those are hearts instead of colons.”

“So much for hoping this was at least platonic,” Batman groaned, running a hand over his face. He was happy that Robin had a match, sure, but that didn’t exactly make things easy. Nothing to do with superheroes and their soulmates was easy.

“I think…” Marinette narrowed her eyes as she focused on the red font. The spot after the colon had a flashing cursor. “I think it’s waiting for us to introduce ourselves,” she looked up to her newly found soulmate with expectation. He avoided meeting her eyes, and said nothing. Puffing out her cheeks, Marinette decided not to be put off by his behavior and straightened her spine. Taking several confident steps forward, she held out her hand to him. “Hello, Robin. My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and I am from Paris, France. My class and I are here on a month-long field trip thanks to one of us winning the Wayne Enterprises scholastic competition last month.”

“Wait a second,” Nightwing interjected, eyes narrowed behind his mask. “Are you being humble? Because the guest speaker at the Wayne Gala at the end of the month is the winner of that competition and her name has already been released as Mari—“

Cue the frantic arm waving and full face blush. “Ah-Ah-Ah yeah, that’s me. But I don’t like to brag, so I didn’t want to say it! You know, I didn’t want to come off as full of myself or a-anything. It’s really embarrassing having to make a speech,” Marinette’s head dropped at the reminder. “Ohhhh, I’m gonna make a total fool out of myself! I should tell Monsieur Wayne I’m not comfortable making a speech. Yeah— oh, but how could I possibly just say; ‘sorry, Mister Wayne, But I am a chronic clutz prone to embarrassing myself and think that making a speech at one of your galas would be a huge mistake,’ oh I sound so lame—”

“Hey,” Robin’s voice cut through the rambling, and Marinette looked up. “Look. It has your name after Player One now. Stop thinking about useless things and focus on how to shut this off. Soulmate or not, we can’t have you finding out who we all are after only a day.”

Nightwing walked over and threw an arm over Robin’s shoulders, even though the older male was still focusing on Marinette out of the corner of his eye. Most people would be offended by the way Robin spoke, blunt and sharp at the same time. But Marinette hadn’t started rambling again, instead the girl stood calmly. Her breaths came slow and regular once more, and her eyes held a scarily familiar focus. Maybe they really do belong together. Huh. Who would have thought his soulmate would be so adorable? And humble. Kind of a mess though, but a cute mess. “Hey, the girl introduced herself and you didn’t even shake her hand. Come on, fill in your name Player

Two!”

Robin scowled. He had already deduced that being Player Two was likely due to the fact that Marinette had been the one to initiate the contact that awakened their soul bond. Didn’t mean he liked being second in any respect. His soulmate was also a wreck. All the rambling and random switches in and out of panic. It was aggravating, but…

But he watched the stern focus in her eyes as she thought about how to temporarily shut down the connection they had. And he had been watching her the whole time. Analyzing her body language. She was easy to rile up, sure, but her panic was never all consuming. Robin could see that her feet always remained firmly planted, her stance fluid and firm. She was always ready to defend herself, whether she knew it or not, regardless of the surface-level panic she might have been experiencing. Even after only twenty or so minutes of interaction, Robin could tell that Marinette Dupain-Cheng was not a 2-D character. She was layered, with secrets and complexities that he was willing to bet few people saw or knew about. Maybe that’s why he walked over to her, and extended a hand that she readily grasped after a brief moment of disbelief.

“... I’m Robin.”

He watched the twitch of her eyebrow in exasperation, hiding his amusement under a perfectly developed poker face. The writing on the bottom of his POV’s side filled in; PLAYER TWO: ROBIN.

“Great,” Marinette deadpanned, looking very unamused. “What if that never changes, huh? I’m not asking you to reveal your identity or anything. Soulmates or not, you don’t owe me something that important. Especially not right away. But you could have at least given me the first letter of your real name or something.”

“You’ll have to earn that,” Robin retorted with a cocky grin. To his pleasant surprise, Marinette responded by cracking her knuckles.

“You know, this layout looks suspiciously similar to a combat video game,” she hinted heavily. Robin adjusted his stance and his smirk widened into a grin.

“Oh? You’re right. Ready to lose?”

“No,” Batman interrupted, one heavy hand suddenly on both of their shoulders as the teenage soulmates snapped out of the challenging connection they had made. “Not today. Miss Dupain-Cheng—“

“Just Marinette, please, Monsieur Batman.”

“... Marinette. You said your class left you behind at the hotel, right? Any idea where they would be now?”

Marinette pulled out her phone to look at the time, frowning. “It’s been about an hour. They’ll probably stay at the museum for another hour, and then they said we would all get dinner at the restaurant across the street.”

Batman nodded, filing that information away. “Good. Then we have about an hour for the two of you to figure out your bond before we need to drop you off in front of the restaurant to rejoin your class.”

“And have a chat with your teacher about taking roll call and properly taking care of her students while in the most dangerous city in the world,” Nightwing agreed, furious at the fact that any student would be left behind to potentially wander such a dangerous city, like Marinette did. Though, considering who her soulmate was, she probably only felt safe to wander due to confidence in her ability to protect herself. Confidence that they all saw was fairly valid.

That being decided, the two soulmates sat down. Batman, knowing it was unnecessary for both him and Nightwing to watch over the teens, left to resume patrol. Nightwing stayed. Someone had to watch the teen’s backs as they focused on figuring out their bond.

And that led to Marinette and Robin both sitting cross-legged and staring at one another without a clue about what to do. After a minute of silent staring, Marinette shifted and her nose scrunched up.

“Uh,” she said as she was struck with her usual timidity at the awkward situation. Here she was, sitting and trying to figure out her soul bond with a guy she just met. One of Gotham’s heroes, no less, which really was more of a relief than anything. At least he would understand her once she eventually revealed herself as Ladybug to him, and she understood him. She shifted her weight again, unable to move her gaze from Robin’s emerald green eyes. “How about we just… start by meditating? That should help, right?” She watched as his green eyes widened slightly in disbelief, and saw herself fidget again from his point of view.

“You meditate?” He asked, clearly not having expected that. Marinette sighed, relaxing into the change in conversation.

“Yeah. I mean, most of Paris meditates now. When your emotions can be used to turn you into a temporary supervillain because of a crazed maniac with a magic artifact, you tend to look for ways to manage your emotions and keep yourself from being vulnerable.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Nightwing asked, and Marinette could tell that he was shocked even despite the mask. “What are you talking about?”

It was Marinette’s turn to be confused, her brows furrowing as she looked between the two males and realized mon dieu, neither of them know what I’m talking about!

“Oh my god,” she said in English. “Paris, we’ve been attacked by a supervillain for the last three years,” she said slowly, but still no recognition. In fact, that only seemed to shock the heroes more. Marinette’s face grew more grim as she decided to completely fill them in. “Three years ago, one of my classmates randomly turned into a huge rock monster. Because of it, Paris’s primary two heroes showed up for the first time to defeat him. When he turned back into a normal boy, the true villain projected himself in front of the Eiffel Tower. His name is HawkMoth. He got hold of a magical artifact called a Miraculous. His Miraculous allows him to corrupt something, in his case butterflies, and use that corrupted object to take advantage of people experiencing negative emotions. His corrupted object takes advantage of those negative emotions to turn the person into a supervillain, giving them powers and essentially brainwashing them into causing havoc. He bargains with them, convincing them that he’ll allow them to get their revenge in exchange for them bringing him what he wants,” Marinette took a breath. “The Miraculous That the two heroes of Paris use. It’s where the get their own powers,” she explained. “Ladybug, the leader, uses the Ladybug Miraculous. It holds the power of creation. Her partner, Chat Noir, uses the cat Miraculous, which holds the power of destruction. If you combine the powers of those two Miraculous, you can make a wish. They will literally manipulate reality in order to grant the wish,” Marinette looked down to her lap, clenching her hands into fists. Through her soul bond with Robin, she could see herself trembling in anger. “But it always comes with a price. The Miraculous uphold the balance of the world. If they grant a wish, they will also balance that wish. If you, for example, wish for the cure to an illness,” Marinette swallowed, “then maybe you will unleash a brand new illness that gets brought to your city by rats and wipes out around forty percent of the population in Europe.”

“The Black Plague,” Nightwing gasped. “That was from a wish made using these— Miraculous?”

Marinette nodded gravely. “Yes. A wish has also caused the sinking of Atlantis, the wipe out of most of the Native American population in North America from illness, it was the final straw to begin the First World War. You cannot make a wish without consequences,” she stressed. “That is why Ladybug and Chat Noir work so hard to keep their Miraculous away from HawkMoth. But they haven’t been able to discover his identity yet. Nobody has,” Marinette’s shoulders slumped. “Which means Paris can only endure as it gets hit every few days by a new supervillain and new powers. Luckily, one of Ladybug’s power is the ability to reverse any damage that happens due to a Miraculous. It will completely reverse environmental damage, magical effects, injuries, even deaths that occurred from misuse of a Miraculous,” Marinette didn’t notice how both men stiffened at that last admission. “But the most we can do is try to police our emotions as much as possible, keep ourselves from being overcome by negative emotions for very long, so that Hawk Moth doesn’t have the chance to use us. Thus, meditation.”

Silence reigned for a long moment before Nightwing punched the concrete under him, making Marinette jump. What—?

“How did we not know?” The older hero growled, making Marinette’s eyes shoot wide open. Huh?

“You really never heard about this?” She asked cautiously, frowning. “Ladybug called the Justice League for help back when this all first started, but she was waved off as if it was all a prank. She tried again later, only to get the same treatment. I thought you would have at least heard about that.”

Nightwing and Robin both shook their heads. “No,” the older of the two refuted. “Nobody from the League told any of us about a prank call, and usually we’d hear about that. Not many people risk prank calling the heroes of the world, after all. And that doesn’t explain how international news never covers that. Even if the effects are reversed, you’d think someone would report about villains in Paris.”

“Someone does,” Marinette said, tilting her head. “The Ladyblog used to be the only one, you can find it online. It started out as a really trustworthy source of information on everything happening in Paris with its heroes and Akumas—Which is what the temporary villains are called. But lately, the Ladyblog has been…” Marinette’s face twisted into a scowl. “...not the most reliable news source. But Ladybug herself started a new news app, AkumaWatch, that most of Paris has downloaded by now,” Marinette pulled out her phone to show them. Pulling the app up, she turned the screen so they could see. “This tab holds footage of past or currently occurring attacks. This tab holds resources for calming techniques, and sources for therapy or other emotional aid for anyone who needs it. This tab has self defense techniques and the location of all the Akuma Shelters in the city so people can evacuate as quickly as possible. And this tab,” she clicked on the second to last one, “is for anyone who sees an Akuma, which looks like a corrupt purple butterfly, to take a picture of it. This allows the Akuma Alert to narrow down the area that the attack begins in, so that people know where to avoid most,” she explained. “The last tab is for any PSAs or other public statements that any of Paris’s heroes or public figures have to say about the attacks.”

“You know a lot about this,” Robin mused slowly, Marinette fully aware of how his gaze remained on her face as she closed the app and put her phone away. Robin was equally aware of how she stubbornly looked anywhere other than his face. Marinette shrugged.

“I helped make the app. Besides, Ladybug occasionally lands on my terrace and we’ll talk when she doesn’t have something better to do. I wouldn’t say we’re friends, exactly, but I think she just likes having someone other than her teammates to talk to about everything with,” Marinette rubbed the back of her neck and smiled sheepishly. “I’m a pretty good listener.”

Robin and Nightwing traded glances, before they both looked back at her.

“Okay…” Robin said slowly. “Let’s try meditation.”

Eager to get away from the previous topic, Marinette easily agreed and both teens adjusted their posture, got comfortable, and closed their eyes.

As usual both of their visions went completely black, but only for a moment. Once they had both sunk into their meditation, their vision came back to show them in what they immediately, intrinsically knew was a shared mindspace.

No longer was their vision cut in half like a game. Instead they saw only from their own point of view, like normal, which was disorienting in and of itself after half an hour of seeing from two points of view at the same time.

The mindspace was mostly white, and it seemed to go on forever. But there were things there. Everything that belonged to Marinette was on pink space, like the floor or sometimes walls and ceiling of the area around that object decided to create a small piece of solidity to emphasize it. Solidity that happened to come in the form of pink. Pink floor in a patch of space, or a cube of pink floor, wall, and patch of ceiling. Likewise, the spots that belonged to Robin were backdropped by green. And the. There were spots that merged both colors, indicating that it was shared.

Like the giant sparring mat in the center of the room, where the floor beneath and around it was an attractive swirl of pink and green as if the two colors chased one another, creating a design that seemed wholly and completely right. Belonging just to Robin, though Marinette was able to walk over and gently run her hands over them, was a rack of weapons—primarily swords. There was also a couch, a computer, a large bookshelf, a wall of batarangs, and a TV that they apparently shared just like the sparring mat.

Amongst the pink items were things like a kitchen— a whole, fully stocked kitchen— a sewing station and matching rack of fabric, a computer of her own, a few potted plants, and a loft bed.

After taking the time to absorb their surroundings, Robin turned to Marinette to find, with relief, that they were both dressed exactly as they were in the physical world. Marinette wasted no time heading over to the shared television, a large flat screen, and sat down on the ground in front of Robin’s green-backdropped couch.

“What are you doing?” The boy asked in exasperation as Marinette turned on the piece of technology. “This isn’t the time to play around. We’re trying to figure out how to control this bond,” he reminded her. Marinette nodded, not looking back at him.

“That’s exactly what I’m doing. Look, our vision mimicked a video game, right? So where better to find clues than the mysterious TV in our mindspace. I mean, it technically doesn’t actually exist, since this isn’t the physical world, so it won’t have any normal channels or shows on it. The TV is connected to our minds. What better place to look for— I knew it!” She shouted in glee. Sure enough, when Robin walked up to her and sat down on the sofa that belonged to him, he saw it. The screen of the TV was split in half, but both sides were dark. In the bottom left of each side of the screen were the very familiar red words and heart-colons;

PLAYER ONE: MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG

PLAYER TWO: ROBIN

The TV showed the view from their eyes. It was the link between their mindspace and their vision in the real world.

“Okay…” Robin mused slowly, reaching forward to grab the green controller on the stand that held the TV. Marinette grabbed the matching pink controller. “So this works like a video game, after all.”

“At least partially,” his soulmate agreed. “It’s mostly a mind link, right? We share a mindspace, which isn’t too odd for soulmates,” even if it was on the rarer side of the spectrum, “But it looks like our minds are even connected through our physical vision. Here, let’s see if this game of life has any instructions,” the girl pressed the center button on her controller, which pulled up an Options tab on the screen. “Yes!”

“Here, let’s look at the list of controls,” Robin suggested, clicking the appropriate option on the screen. The “game title” was boasted in bright red at the top of the “controls” list;

Soul Team.

Marinette’s eyes widened at the title. “Oh,” she said, her voice surprisingly quiet. “It’s… like it’s saying that we’re each other’s backup, no matter what,” her soft voice echoed in the room, striking an odd chord in Robin. “We can always see when the other person is in danger, or what they’re facing, and go to help.”

“Look at this,” Robin pointed to one of the “controls” lines near the top. “Switch vision mode between Split Screen, Audio Only, Personal Mode, or Sleep Mode. It looks like we can only switch modes here, in the Mindspace,” he pointed out as he read. “We don’t have to agree on the setting, but aside from Sleep Mode, Which activates automatically when we fall asleep, any mode one of us chooses still affects us both.”

“Audio only just lets us hear what is going on around the other person,” Marinette read, humming in thought. “We can use that as a step two, right? Like, we can start on Personal Mode, where we only have our own Point of Views, but once we get more comfortable we can switch to audio mode every now and then.”

“Maybe,” Robin agreed reluctantly. Audio mode shouldn’t be too bad… possibly. Once again, his green eyes strayed to his soulmate. Completely unaware, for the first time in a half hour, of his stare, Marinette just continued reading about everything their soul bond entailed.

Analyzing her like this, Robin was just… calmed, in a way. Visually, Marinette was pretty. She had gorgeous sapphire eyes, clear like a pristine lake, and midnight black hair that shimmered blue in the right lighting. Sure, it was pulled into childish pigtails at the base of her neck, but it didn’t seem to detract from the surprising maturity in the girl’s posture. She was clearly a childish person at heart, and easy to excite if their interactions thus far were anything to go off of, but there was a hidden maturity there. A hidden knowledge, amongst her many subtle layers and complexities.

Perhaps that was the first similarity that Robin noticed between the two of them. She had what seemed like a very straightforward personality at first glance— the awkward, shy, clumsy, excitable girly girl, just like he was the cold, arrogant, mysterious bad boy on the surface. But she held more than that, secrets and deeper parts of herself that she kept hidden flawlessly. Robin doubted even her closest friends noticed much of what lies beyond the surface of her character.

“It seems like this bond is supposed to ease us into getting to know each other,” Marinette’s voice brought Robin out of his inner musings. “We can’t hear each other’s thoughts, no matter what, which is usually the feature that comes along with shared mindspaces. But we can adjust the level of privacy we allow one another, and we can meet here when we sleep. It’s less like the bond between gamers, and more like the bond is meant to act like an ice breaker. Like… an activity for us to get to know each other, almost.”

“Our soul bond is a team bonding activity,” Robin surmised in a deadpan tone, completely done with the logic of the universe and the way it liked to play with him. The laugh that Marinette let ring out only partially made up for his annoyance.

“Oui, Oui!” Marinette agreed emphatically before standing up frantically in realization. “Oh! I forgot to ask, do you speak French?”

Robin grinned and nodded. “I do, actually. I suppose that is at least convenient. My first language is Arabic, however. I don’t suppose you speak that, do you?”

Marinette’s shoulders slumped. “No. But I do speak Mandarin! And Cantonese, which is actually my first language. I’m still working on Mandarin, though. I’ve only been learning it for about two years, but I can hold a decent conversation.”

Damian nodded, tilting his head. “I am fluent in Mandarin, but my Cantonese can use some work. We can benefit each other in that respect, at least.”

“So we have plenty of languages to choose from!” Marinette said cheerfully, punctuating her words with an excited clap. “That should make it easy to keep people from eavesdropping on us all the time, at least. If we ever spoke to each other in front of my class, for example, Cantonese would be best to use. They all speak French, for obvious reasons, and several are fluent in English, and one of them is fluent in mandarin, but I don’t think any of them know Cantonese. After I help you get fluent, maybe you could teach me Arabic?”

And for the first time in Damian Wayne’s life, the sparkle of excitement in a girl’s eyes completely drained his will to argue. Grimacing, the boy agreed to teach her Arabic after they helped each other become fluent in the type of Chinese that they, respectively, needed help with.

This is a problem, Robin thought in despair. She’s already becoming a weakness.

—*—*—*—*—*

[neutrallyobsessed]

EPISODE 10!!!!!!!!!!! THE FINALE: THE SUMMER VACATION!!!!!

I AM FUCKING MELTING!!!!!!!!

AND YOU CAN TAKE A PIC WITH JESUS CHRIST! NOOOOO VAN GOGH!!!! You wanna ride Lincoln's log? OH COME ON WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE TRAINS???? i know that the underground railway wasn't underground or a railway but- OH IM SORRY FUCK YOU TOO

amen brother!

Confucius with beard and moustache? Let's gooooo!!!!

Wait, Cloney Island is real? HELL YEAH ITS REAL WOOOOOOOOOO

whoopsie-doodle

OH so the intro isnt going to be the magestic sound we just heard??

Ah finally, Nostradamus!

hmmmJFrrietmmmmmmm

HMMMMMJOANABEMMMMMM

The themes have the same initials!! I love it!!

TOPHER!!!! he's just static there.... buT AT LEAST HE'S HERE!!!

ok, now im feeling like they're purposefully avoiding giving him screentime-

OH LIKE IN THE INTRO!!!

hehehe rebooting :v NOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T CANCEL IT!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

AUGH

OH OK-

OH NOOOO NOT THE SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEE

EVAAAA!!!! CAMPEONA DEL MUNDO AAAA

WAIT WAIT

WHAT ISLAND IS THIS ONE?????

OK

you didn't get Confucius yet?/Abe was closest to you?

INTERESTING/IN WHAT WAY

JIJIJIJI JAJJAJAJA!!

I'm glad they aknowledge Topher being Joan's friend rather than Abe's- anyways this is how joanpher can still win-

ooooo how considerate~~THE HISTORICAL JOKES ARE SO GOOD!!!JFRRIET!!!!!!!!

ssssssss ooooooo my knees dont work~~~~ yes YESSS YEESSSS

YEEEEESSSSSS!!!!

YES! I WAS SO RIGHT! I AM SO RIGHT ABOUT HIM!!!! YOUR ANGST RIDDEN ASS DON'T UNDERSTAND TOPHER... no no... Y'ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND CHRISTOPHER LIKE I DO! He doesnt hate himself! He doesnt hate being the clone of an eViL colonizer or whatever! HE LOVES IT! HE LOVES HIMSELF! HE LOVES BEING HIMSELF!!! HE WANTS TO BE HIMSELF AND BE PROUD AND SUPER ANNOYING ABOUT IT!! And he can be Christopher Columbus here and make people happy..... he makes me happy.............but if you dont leave you will die and thats no good, i promise that you'll find a place to be yourself or something i love youuuuu, i love him soooo muchhhh yknow~

Oh look, I can salivate again! Maybe I can EAT something for once....!

Hahahhaha even the trash can died lol

GAAASSSPPP!!!! WHERE IS THIS ALL COFFEE COMING FROM??

ok smartass, do you have a time machine that can comfirm us if that's a racist costume or an accurate portrayal of the real Confucius? eh? concha de tu madreeee.......

i love this kind of jokes sjksjskjksjkjskj

there was also one like that in the columbus ride lolol, it was so unsafe, just like the Ital Park~~ sighhhh♥

lmao i dont know if they're happy that they saved him or that the FUCKING TRAITOR is FUCKING DYING!!! MMMMMMMMMM

but if Christopher is happy then I'm happy ^^

JFRRIET LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

NOOOOOO HE ATE THE OVERPRICED CHURRO!!!

ok this is the last one, it can only mean one thing!

Aww the cheesy line bout destiny and nothing is written in stone and yadda yadda~~ go read afterschool charisma~~

♪CAN WE START, START... OVER♫♫♫ IT'S ALL OVER~~!

Rating: TO BE CONTINUED...?!$@#;)/10!

Topher Bus *sigh siiigh* has appeared on screen... for 51 seconds. A total of 6:15 minutes..........let's go to bed, the fan is turned on.

[nyxshadowhawk]

The Rural Dionysia submissions inspired me to attempt some poetry:

LARPing

I was accused of LARPing again. I get accused of LARPing, and of hubris, by people who see that I don't worship the gods properly, so I must not take them seriously. I am told that I have not been initiated. That the gods will strike me down, and put me in my place and then I'll be sorry. And I was sorry. I wept.

You kicked down the door with a big box of costumes, painted green with gold clasps. And you sat atop it with a winning smile. You asked me, “What shall we play? “Let's play pirates, and ride on the high seas, and turn the sailors into dolphins. “Let's play wizards, knights and castles. Grab your sword, and your armor, and your book of spells, and we'll save a princess from a dragon. “Let's slay Medusa, like you did once when you were seven, using your fairy princess wand as a sword, swinging it by the star until it broke. “You were Perseus, then. You climbed on Pegasus' back, and he took you to Olympus, where we, your siblings, waited for you.”

I asked, “Why wasn't I struck down like Bellerophon?”

And you said, “There's a big difference between being invited, and kicking down the door claiming you deserve to be there.”

I look at the box and I say, “I want to play Shaman.”

I know how problematic that is. I know that shamans are spiritual leaders from Siberia I know how insulting it is for a colonizer like me to imitate Native Americans as a childish game, Dressing up in fur and feathers like a bad Halloween costume And listening to New Agey "tribal" music While I dance around an altar that I built out of feathers and rocks and other natural talismans I'd collected and little figures of deer and elephants and leopard-print scarves spread under a fake plastic campfire that burned in the center of it all.

But I remember how it felt. It felt powerful. It felt ancient.

You smile and say, “It was powerful, and it was ancient. “You were not imitating any real indigenous rituals, except to burn sage and call it "smudging." “Everything else was your own. It was your ritual. A child, reaching back, back through the mists of time “To find the oldest ritual in the book. “Before there was theatre, there was LARPing. “Before there was writing, there was dance.”

And I said, “Lord of Dappled Pelts, give me that feeling back.”

You open the box. Inside are fawnskins and leopard skins, feathers, bones, animal skulls, Rough-hewn masks, with empty staring eyes, as primeval as the soil. You put a horned mask on my face, and dress me in furs, and braid feathers into my hair and put a necklace of bones around my neck that rattles with every step. Before there was theater, there was LARPing. There was the shaman, in their animal mask, behaving as the animal does, dancing round and round the ritual fire until they don't know the difference between man and beast, real and unreal, day and night. And you are there, where you've always been, in the dance. Casting the illusion over our eyes. The mask is a glamour, the stage, a farce. Storytelling itself, an enchantment cast over an audience as they watch and listen, enraptured, fully believing what they feel and see. It is old magic.

I found my gods by LARPing. I put on a white sheet, like a makeshift peplos, and made an olive crown out of pipe cleaners and construction paper and gold glitter and I drank nothing but white grape juice, the blood of the vine, and pretended it was ambrosia, and it was. I threw my paper leaves and thought the gods were listening, and they were. Back then, I didn't ask whether they were real or not, or whether what I was doing was historically accurate or not, or whether I was guilty of hubris for pretending that I, too, was a god.

You and I dance around our ritual fire decorated with stones, and feathers, and figurines grapevines, pinecones, and phallic objects and other fetishes, wearing our pelts and our animal masks. I lose my name, my face, my gender. I am made and unmade. In the primeval woods, in a time before the dawn of civilization, industry, writing, art, theatre religion, liturgy, sacrifice, humanity itself, we were LARPing.

[infinitysisters]

“Like everything based on the writings of Karl Marx—seeing oppressors and colonial struggles everywhere—DEI was doomed to fail. The uniformity of thought known as intersectionality, fostered by DEI, meant all oppressed people must support all others who are oppressed. But that idea burst on Oct. 7 when Hamas raped, murdered and kidnapped Israelis. Many liberals, especially Jewish ones, couldn’t support genocidal “colonized” terrorists. Pop! The long march is in retreat.

By the way, ESG, or investing based on “environmental, social and governance” principles, peaked last June, when BlackRock CEO Larry Fink said he would stop using “the word ESG anymore, because it’s been entirely weaponized.” Never mind that performance of ESG funds has been sketchy and that BlackRock had been adding the label “sustainable” or “ESG” to funds and charging up to five times as much. Then a study published in December by Boston University’s Andrew Kingfound “no reliable evidence for the proposed link between sustainability and financial performance.” Pop!

Most offensive to me was DEI’s devious underlying agenda: societal design. 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐰𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐚 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐧, 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐛𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬. That was the “my truth” that Ms. Gay invoked on her exit. Critical theories and Marxist techniques would take power from you and me, using big government as the enforcer.

The new societal design, embedded in DEI and ESG, envisioned idyllic communal progress. 𝐇𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐬. Diversity meant ideological conformity. Equity meant discrimination. Inclusion meant blurring the sexes. Men winning women’s athletic events would be considered normal. It was all theatrics, like the tampons I’ve seen in men’s bathrooms on Ivy League campuses. Somewhere George Orwell is rolling on the floor laughing.

One goal of progressive societal design is to shrink—depopulation. Twenty-somethings now question having children. Net zero and degrowth, both World Economic Forum approved, are pushed via energy myths: carbon bad, cows bad. A plant-based chicken in every pot and two electric cars in every garage. They envy the merit-touting rich, shout “inequality” and wear “Tax the Rich” dresses. They tear down statues to erase history. How did we let this happen?

𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐦 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧, 𝐢𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧. There was very little free speech at Harvard—the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression ranked it last of all colleges last year. Those against the societal-design agenda were shouted down. Dissent was met with accusations of privilege or cancellation. Conform or be cast out. On a larger scale, the Biden administration co-opted social media to censure opposing views.

I, like most Americans, am for diversity, but not when it’s forced or mandated. In a 2017 interview, Mr. Fink admitted BlackRock would use DEI tactics to “force behaviors” of corporations on “gender or race,” including via management compensation. Now that’s power.

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐞’𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. Does national security adviser Jake Sullivan really care about equity or climate change? It polled well and put him back in power to implement his own societal design via “industrial strategy.”

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬. 𝐂𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬. 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬. Those prices inform production much better than any government bureaucrat or Harvard professor. Societal design—remember Lyndon B. Johnson’s Great Society?—requires government control. I’ll take freedom.

Preferred pronouns are fading. College admissions, and maybe hiring, based on race is illegal. DEI departments are being deconstructed. But while the DEI movement may have peaked, like that Monty Python character, it’s not dead yet. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐃𝐄𝐈 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫.”

— Andy Kessler//WSJ

[alpaca-clouds]

Rambling about my own Solarpunk Worldbuilding

Alright. Let me talk for a moment about my own writing stuff as it relates to Solarpunk. Because, no, I do not only write fanfiction, I also do original writing. And I just wanted to share with you how I went about my worldbuilding for the Solarpunk stuff, given that both Solarpunk worlds I write start out with "our" world and go into the future/alternate history.

Before I ramble about it, I should say: The main differing factor is that one of the worlds involves magic and grows out of an urban fantasy setting - the other is a somewhat realistic, though idealized world without magic.

And yes, I know that there is discussion about whether a Solarpunk world can have magic, whether it makes it Lunarpunk and what not. But just roll with me.

The Magical Concept

For this concept I should say, that basically all my Urban Fantasy writing takes places within the same world, that I have christened "Manmade Myths". With the basical concept being that "Clap your hands if you believe" holds in fact true for the world. Aka: Everything that enough people believe in is real. That is true for magic, for vampires, and for gods.

Other than in most versions of the trope I have seen, I meanwhile build strongly on the fact that religion and mythology is not constant but is shifting. So what a god might be, might change over time. In some cases it will also change the relationship between gods. (YHW as a Canaanite God still had a wife for example.)

The gods for the most part are very aware of them existing only because humans believe in them. And that brings them into a pickle, because they are very much able to see climate change coming and other things through which humans destroy themselves. And if humans die out, the gods will die as well. And no god is almightly and can just snap their fingers and prevent it. More than that: The gods conflict over the question whether it is belief or worship that gives them their powers. If it is belief, humans cannot KNOW that they are real. Because as soon as you know you no longer believe!

However, Loki is very certain it is worship. Not the least because of his complicated history - but also because he found out that the uptick of fictionalized depiction of his in media has actually given him more power. In fact making him the most powerful god in his pantheon. So... Loki decides to shatter the veil, make the existence of magic and gods public knowledge - and bring back magic to the world.

And that... is basically what the Solarpunk world arrises from: Loki brings back magic. Through stuff that I am not going to go into further he makes our world much more magical than it currently is. And through this he also revives some of the natural guardian spirits, who had been killed through human activity. And those spirits? They won't have human bullshit about destroying the nature. So they fucking demand the humans do better. Hence... the rise of a magical Solarpunk world.

The Non-Magic Concept

Now, I am going to warn you: The non-magical concept does involve a lot more... strive, than the magical one. Because it obviously does not involve gods being able to force the humans to make adjustments. So... Humans need to fight for it themselves.

The worldbuilding here starts in the late 2020s with some revolutionary movements in Western Africa, where the collaps of a mine owned by European money leads the people to protest against those mines and the working conditions and - while they are on it - the entire neocolonial bullshit still going on. During those rebellions weapons are stolen and in fact the revolutionary groups manage to win and hold a local region, where they establish their own socialist government.

While the government is obviously not recognized by the world powers, the rebellion does inspire imitators with the movement first spreading throughout western and central Africa, but soon also spreading to other colonized regions.

This in the end inspires a group in France to try as well with stolen weapons and after some bloody street weapon they in fact manage to overtake parts of Paris.

This is the moment where the western governments no longer can ignore this growing movement and they react with widespread violence that escalates over three years, before finally ending in what amounts to another world war. And not to go into the finer details: France is won by the rebellion in total - and this is what leads to the old government to nuke Paris. Only that they have not quite calculated correctly what this does to the optics of the war. And the standing governemtns loose support, with only more revolutionary action happening.

So, in the end, it is 2039 that the war is won by the revolutionary forcers.

Technically there is still some old world forces holding out in some parts of the former USA, but by 2046 those last outholds have fallen as well.

In the end a lot of political action - but in the end it involves nearly breaking down the concept of national states, paying reparations for half a millennium of colonialization and slowly making movements towards a more just system. Which includes climate justice and action to prevent the worst fall out of climate change.

Most of my Solarpunk short stories take place in the non-magical world. But I also have this novel idea which would take place in the magical version.

So, yeah... we will see what I am doing with all of this.