#am i being dramatic about this? maybe
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WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT VIRGIL'S (thomas's) EYES?
THEYRE SO PRETTY
I have thought about his eyes once a day every day for the last 12 days. I can't get it out of my head. Fuck man
Yall see it too right??
#please please#please#pleASE#do yall see it#yall see it right#god#why is thomas so pretty#>:(#nobody is giving the attention it so obviously needs#what the hell#so pretty#im crying#am i being dramatic about this? maybe#but Come ON!!!#sanders sides#virgil sanders#thomas sanders
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[right to left]
finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#the kids are here too but i aint taggin them vaeLKEVJKLJ#snap sketches#posting this now and not obsessing over the details i need to SLEEP#please click/tap and zoom to read anything im sorry theres so much dialogue#i thought i was gonna finish this sooner but i went grocery shopping with my bro today and that took longer than expected !!!!#ALSO CHAT. if youre up to date on My Lore via my tags ... my prof's lettin me submit my assignment ... life's so good...#speaking of life being good i was giggling like stupid while drawing this . i named it 'this is stupid' and i stand by that#this is so unserious im gonna make myself throw up ITS SO CORNY i make myself sick with what i draw <- will continue to do this#only god knows if this is even how that power of his works i just saw an opportunity and ran with it#the trick here is he doesnt even have to use any 'power' he can just do that to charles by default#however im making them be obnoxious about it. i am making them obnoxious over dramatic grandpas because i can#my only crime is loving the utter cheese and corniness of the 60s comics like God. anyways bye !!!!!!!#maybe one day ill finish that other comic i sketched for this weekend but i fear i wont have time to so next weekend me thinks ....#for now i hope you all enjoy this. goofy as hell nonsense jLAKJVEKLVJ
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so. i've been thinking probably way much about bucky's attachment/abandonment issues bc they're soooo loud to me like he clings to people so hard!!! he wants to be chosen!!! him asking gale "did you miss me?" after spending objectively not that much time apart half joking but half sincere bc he's used to people getting tired of him and leaving so he has to make sure.
And it makes gale saying no to london even more of a Big Deal. and paulina leaving him the morning after even when he asked her to stay!!! and lil kissing him but getting with dye!! and once again feeling rejected in the stalag when gale won't leave with him, won't even entertain the thought of it !! andddd not having anyone writing him letters, possibly not even his family for reasons we don't get to know but probably are a big part of why he has attachment issues
i've already said this but i'll say it again even though he's confident/cocky at times he doesn't... like himself . or has a lot of regard for his own life which we literally see in the show. he was Capital S Suicidal – bc of the stalag obviously but come on he drinks like crazy and gambles and smokes even before things get Really Bad. and the plane wing sceneeeee you don't goad your friend !! not even a random person but a Friend into hitting you if you're a well adjusted individual. And he was ready to give up fr when gale went down. he did not want to bail out with brady!!! AND him risking his eye to get gale a bike (which while yeah crazy yaoi moment . to me also ties into him needing to be wanted/needed so people won't leave him) so yeah clearly not huge on self preservation which at least in my perception is something that stems from self hatred
all of these rejections (even if justified at times) are probably a series of blows to his perception of himself/sense of self and just reaffirm to him in his head that he's not good enough and he is right to expect to be left by the people he loves. and he tries to stop that by clinging as hard as he can and not being expendable/replaceable. but if they do leave he can rationalize it because if everyone leaves him clearly it's his fault, he's the one lacking – which feeds his recklessness and self destructive coping mechanisms even more
#once again he would've loved liability by lorde.....#am i reading too much into a character from a pretty mid show? yeah maybe. it's fun tho so who cares!#ANYWAY i've been circling this in my head all day#if i forgot any scenes of him being rejected pls lmk#i wanted to do a rewatch to check but i have literally no free time atm so 💔#also i know i'm not like reinventing the wheel here or anything a lot of this is literally Text. it's In The Show.#I JUST WANNA TALK ABOUT HIM ALWAYS#john egan#mota#pls i'm rereading all this now hours later while high and it sounds so dramatic i'm crying I CAN'T TELL IF IT IS OR NOT#i just lowkey can't take myself seriously bc it's a fucking rpf ww2 show i'm obsessed with solely bc of the yaoi#well if it is dramatic pretend it's not idk#Also again if you disagree that's cool . it's just how i perceive him
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THK Countdown:
#the heart killers#firstkhao#kantbison#joongdunk#fadelstyle#gmmtv#thai bl#bl drama#upcoming bl#LADIES AND GAYS#THE DAY HAS COME#ARE WE READY??????#i have thought about this for a while and i have come to the conclusion#that i am in fact#not ready at all#i thought i was#but im not#HEELPPPP#lives will be changes in just a few hours#maybe im being too dramatic#i definitely am#i cant help it
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at first i thought this was a character development moment, but the more i look at it, the more i think there's something wrong mitsuki being away from school, presumably not talking to aya, and now going straight to this guy and asking him to listen to her song it reminds me of joe's relationship with kanna, and how he kept her out of the loop until they grew apart and if thats the case, we should expect some (very sad) parallels soon and lets not forget that angst timeskip art...
#ramblings#tgswiiwagaa#the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all#i am worried about these girls#but i trust they will be able to get out of this situation together#or maybe im just being dramatic and this is in fact a character development moment and mitsuki knows what shes doing#idk man
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cheneige moment aka me trying to learn how 2 draw rsa students
#u can probs read better @ full screen image lol sowwy i cram a bunch of tiny things onto one canvas#twst#twisted wonderland#cheneige#neige leblanche#chenya#cereal tries to draw#marinating them in my mind i think theyd be a fun combo#also guest star vil and cater hanging out 😌#i also want to see more cater and chenya interactions but this aint about them [yet] [ill give chenya a caytober day later] [maybe neige to#maybe they can share a day lol we'll see#anyway didnt chenya and neige have like one(1) interaction in an event?? i feel like they did. or am imagining things.#am i mixing it up w/fanart??? i feel like theres one instance where neige and chenya were in a situation#and chenya was being a silly goober and neige was like chenya!! dont tease them!!!#but idr wtf was going on lol. i feel like it wouldve been glomas bc idr if theyre in any other events 2gether#ik chenyas at portfest but idr neige being there#well whether that was a real thing or not i do see it in my mind palace. they have that vibe TO ME!!!#chenya being a lil scamp and neige being like u are so fun but also u must be nice blease;#i love the comparisons of like. chenya to riddle + chenya to neige + cater to riddle#it's all connected... in my mind map.... similarities....#also trey is there. trey to chenya and cater as well LOL#anyway i love when rsa characters are on screen being like tralala teehee i love having a good time#and then a nrc character is clenching their fist like I WANT HIM DEAD#theyre so funny. why are they so dramatic. actually nvm hs rivalries are just like that#except usually both schools want blood so maybe rsa is the weirdo school here#the rain suddenly got really heavy while i was typing all this but then it chilled again#u know how it is w/a pre-hurricane#anyway i love that cater kinda knows chenya by extension of riddle and trey like he recognized him w/familiarity in the tea party or w/e#so i think it would be so funny if he was like wtf beyonce is dating my besties' bestie#tumblr cut off the rest of my tag rambling ig. SORRY.
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Fic writers are a gift to humankind & should be appreciated more.
#did i ever state it#i feel like i must have#but for good measure#THEY'RE A GIFT TO HUMANKIND!!!#i adore them so much you don't understand#they grab my heartstrings and GRIP#and i die#everytime#and then get resurrected by the loveliness of having imprinted such beauty into my heart#like i still can't wrap my head around the fact such people exist#and by the way - i am not being dramatic#i am being completely serious when i say i adore them to death#what they do impacts me a lot#(ps. I am talking about EVERY fic writer I have ever expressed my adoration of their fic towards - you know who you are)#i rambled too much in these tags i should have just put this in the post itself this is messy#okay i am finished with being embarassingly emotional goodnight#ps. ps.#THEY'RE A GIFT TO HUMANKIND!!#<- maybe I'll use this tag whenever i make another fic rec list it seems appropriate#okay now for real goodnight
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fellas is it gay to steal your best friend's jacket with his last name on it?
#lord please let them kiss in the next volume#maybe during a tense mid competition locker room break? mayhaps while everyone else is preoccupied with their own drama?#mayhaps so we see harvard's complex over being a good captain and an insight into how their relationship impacts aiden's fencing??#and LORD let seiji give aiden advice this time. and nicholas harvard!!!!!!!! or vice versa#bc like nichoji are kind of chilling for the first time since vol 1 now someone help aiden who is drowning in the middle of the ocean#gay people are so dramatic (i am gay people)#also praying hoping dying for nicholas robert interaction I AM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE#but this post isnt about that so i'll keep it to myself#ok manifestation is done#fence comic#aiden kane#haiden#inspired by my fic paradise in your eyes of course#because i am nothing if not self referential#nart#digital art#one day i will go back to my nichoji and eugesse and other pairs shitposting. today is not that day
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carmy keeps on fucking up the budget numbers for repairs of the restaurant, sydney is right there correcting him every time
carmy enters the office, forgetting completely about his “good idea” that he didn’t write down
sydney enters the office, in the middle of a reassuring sentiment for morale, falls through drywall, carmy is right there when she forgets what she was saying, remembers for her, even finishes her sentence for her
just like that carmy remembers what the good idea was
it’s giving v much you’re the only one who keeps my head on straight, v much I’m not me without you, v much classic married couple, v much I know you I know you I know you I see you I’m here with you
#she forgets he remembers#he forgets she already knew#am I being dramatic? maybe#do I care no#also review stresses me out but when carmy yells about someone finding a sharpie that works?#I’m p sure at the beginning of the episode syd has in her apron what now? a sharpie#I’m just saying he’s yelling about something he needs and of course syd has that exact thing#anyone willing to watch that episode if you do just tell me if I’m right I don’t wanna know if I’m not#sydney x carmy#carmy x sydney#sydcarmy#the bear
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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Cross-dressing fic where the lady “has to” cut her hair short even though it takes place in a time period where it is not only acceptable but even fashionable for men to have longer hair🤡🤡🤡
#it’s only for the dramatics of Oh No My Beloved Hair and it’s never done interestingly!!!!#if you’re gonna be unoriginal at least have some flair about it good god#like yeah men had short hair at the time of course they did. no era’s a monolith. but if she doesn’t wanna cut it short she absolutely#does not have to. maybe shoulder length yeah but not Short short in the way that a lot of modern cross dressing tropes demand.#if I wake up tomorrow and find that this is not true don’t say anything it’s 02:37#also I KNOW I am being pedantic but consider. you are on the pedantry website.
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I just got back from a 3 week trip to Australia, mostly to visit my dad in northern NSW but with a few day stop off in Melbourne at the end specifically so that I could go see a Waterhouse painting at the gallery there.
Now friend, let me tell you about my heartache in poll form
so, yeah, I did not get to see Ulysses and the Sirens, and my world is a darker place because of it. It even made the dinosaur exhibition I saw afterwards a little less bright, and nothing should dim dinosaurs.
#look man i'm still processing the grief okay#we all mourn in our own ways#personal#am i being over dramatic about not getting to see a painting after a beautiful holiday and seeing my fam for the first time in 5 years?#yeah maybe but dammit i wanted that painting
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#feeling a lot of feelings today#about tdp yes#and arc 3 and everything and idk im feeling kinda weird rn 😔#can’t really express what im actually feeling because im bad at that but i feel this really big weight on my chest bruuuuuuuu#maybe im overthinking this (i am) but especially seeing how some long running shows turned out i just#i have my concerns#please don’t give me httyd homecoming part two#im being very dramatic and im also nitpicking DEAR GOD ignore this stuff i just needed to write it out okay bye#alex talks#vent post#alex talks in tags
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Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...
I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)
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SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?
(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)
Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?
#I guess I just feel weird about investing too much into characters if possibly nobody will like them. so the idea of being able to sample#around a wider variety opens up the option of like 'hey even if neither of these 4 are your favorite - you have 3 other options soon too!'#or whatever. BUT I also am very anti-the trend of releasing half finished games or shit like that where people preorder and then#the game sucks on actual release and isn't fully playable or good until 5 updates later#HOWEVER.. those are giant companies with hundreds of employees and millions in funding. I feel like it's different for someone#if they're just like ''hey I am getting zero money for this and doing it entirely on my own in my free time and before I do like 50+ hours#of work on top of the 100+ hours of work that I already did - I would like maybe to at least see some proof#people are interested in this - so I'm releasing the game with like a small amount of the originally intended content removed#that I still have planned out and hope to add later and the game is still entirely done and completely functional#except for just a few quests I might add later.. sorry'' etc. etc. ??? like I think that's different. but maybe some people dont see#it that way and would still be like 'grrr.. how dare there be unfinished options..>:V" idk#And the nature of the quests is such that it's not weird to have it be partial like.. again.there's no major plot. it's not like the quests#are leading up to some dramatic thing and having them half done would make it feel like a cliffhanger. It's meant to be very casual just#chilling and doing little tasks and such. And last thing to clarify I guess - by 'side character' I don't mean taking some unimportant bac#ground character and forcing them to have quests. I mean like.. originally the game had 8 full characters and I thought that was#too much so I cut it down to 5. So I still had everything planned for all the side characters too. Id' just be like.. re-giving them#quests and focuses that were already planned from the beginning but that I got rid of.. former main characters banished to the side lol..#ANYWAY... hrmm... hard to decide... It's just so niche I think. I feel more and more like I should just get it to a 'proof#of concept' state and get it out there to interest check rather than invest in it soooo much for nothing. Because I really do not have the#tastes other people do or interact with games or have interest in things in the same way. A lot of the stuff that I love (slow. character#focused things with basicaly no action or plot where its' just about getting to explore a world and learn about#people in a casual low stakes setting but ALSO not romance) I think people find very boring so... lol...#This year as I try to pick the project back up again after abandoning it for like 3 years I keep looking at stuff and going.. ough...#yeah... cut this maybe.. I should cut that too.. I should make them a side character.. remove this.. blah blah..#Though I did ADD a journal and inventory system and other things that like People Expect Games To Have so.. maybe#that will count for something.. hey..you can collect items.. it's not just 'talking to elves for 600 hours simulator'.. are you#entertained yet? lol.... When I was making my other tiny game for that pet website and I gave it to the play testers and someone was like#''it should have achievements so I feel I'm working towards something concrete'' I was literally so blindsided like..??... people WANT that#in games..? is the goal not simply to wander aimlessly &fixate on world/character lore& make your own silly pointless personal goals? I did#do them though because it IS fun to make up little achievement names and such but.. i fear i am out of touch so bad lol..
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What if i caved and gave Zenkichi gray hairs, huh? What then? How much further will I go? You dont know me. Ill give this man piercings if u dont stop me. Its hot. Im tired of pretending its not- *im dragged offstage kicking and screaming* ITS HOT. DONT LET THEM TELL YOU ITS CRINGE! YOU GAVE HIM LONG HAIR! LET ME GIVE HIM TATS!! 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
#chattin#zenkichi#being DRAMATIC#mainly its bc i was thinking of giving my akira grey hairs bc its just a cute lil trait lol#i am biased; i got my greys early. like back when i was 14-15#and i was like who else could i give that to. maybe haru? bc i have a cousin w her hair type and color that was born w a natural grey spot#kinda like claire (from the now disgraced bon appetit)#and i was like weuuuh. maybe i can give it to zenkichi? and like. ugh. it would fit so well#esp bc he looks like a YOUNG dad; hes not old to me.#so i think the gramps nickname would come from him having visible greys#from genetics but absolutely amplified from stress#the piercing n tat stuff is coincidental. bc i just saw a post for ryuji about and it#and it reminded me that i was still in the process of working on zenkichi and my thots on him#like how i think hes pretty fucking strong (as evident by him continuing to knock out men with ease)#and he hides it w the suits#also the greatsword??? come on.#and the piercing/tats was bc i had MULTIPLE PAs (and NPs) who worked w long sleeves under their scrubs#and they had like. fullblown tattoo sleeves underneath. they were SO pretty; im really envious of the love put into it#and hanging w them after work was like seeing a completely different person. it was cool! i miss them :(#anyway. people like that exist everywhere. i dont think its too extreme to hc. id imagine he never wears his piercings#but u can see the pierces in his ear if he moves his hair too much.#and u will never see his fucking sleeves. he is always on the clock. its just too unprofessional#this is also bc i think it would be cute for ryuji and yusuke to consult him for a good spot to get piercings and tattoos respectively#and they only learn to go to him bc he overhears them talking about it and he doesnt want them to go to some shady place 😭#‘hey gramps; cool that u got some references but like. how did that happen? 🤔 how did u find them ? 🤔🤔🤔’#he has to spill it eventually u.u#ryuji does not SHUT up about it. ‘OLD MAN THATS COOL AS HELL. WHAT THE FUCK!’
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I was prompted by some strange fateful insistence to count the number of WIP docs I have written in gdocs, in hopes of procrastinating on my increasingly growing list of things to do.
I counted them. One by one. A whopping total of 153. My world shook. 153 WIPs. And the dream I held of myself one day completing all my WIPs, entering the last period in a sentence and leaning back in my chair, finally successful... sipping cool lemonade as I took a celebratory vacation... the dream of such joy slowly disintegrated in front of my eyes. Or actually, it vanished with a definitive, resounding, gunshot-like crack.
But in all seriousness, what in the world. This does not even include all the little paragraphs I write on my phone's notes app, or the sticky note fics. This is obsessive behaviour.
Also, 28 of these documents were untitled.
Past me, what did I ever do to you?
#me#I'm being a bit dramatic but I am also infinitely shocked.#and okay some of those WIPs ARE actually never going to be completed because I've moved on#from certain fandoms and ships and tropes#but most of them are ones I'd want to complete#and always held the belief that I would#and maybe I will! maybe I will!! there is always hope!#about writing
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