#am certainly going through it
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loudlyunladylike · 2 years ago
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Ah okay
Alrighty then continue to go insane in your eternal prison
Hope you're having fun <3
(This is a joke I am joking I hope you are doing okay mentally, emotionally, and physically)
I will I will!!!! Thank you very muchly :D 👍 I will not be having fun but I will think of you next time much shackles tighten and I shall smile!!!!! :")
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dxxtruction · 5 months ago
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"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?
I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.
And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.
I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.
But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.
Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.
The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.
Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.
Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.
If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.
*: (edit) added for clarity.
**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.
#amc iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv season 2#Loumand#louis du pointe du lac#armand#interview with the vampire#IWTV#Many people are ranting about this but I'm throwing my hat in too#signed someone who went through csa and is close friends with many swers#long rant#noticing spelling errors in this after posting ffff#added note: I'm not saying armand and louis dynamic is without it's flaws or that louis was somehow without his exploitation and faults#while he was a pimp#as a pimp though he certainly wasn't going about it in the same way as what had happened in the brothel or with marius#I more so say that their very actions are of a healthier dynamic than that this is true even if they themselves are not exactly so#all for nuanced and messed up relationships that run everywhere in this show#But I still don't see it as that specific dynamic I wouldn't call it that there's just an amount of that dominence at play#neither want to be tethered to the roles they've been playing previously and they aren't entirely different for it but#are still arriving to this idea of needing something new to define themselves by and something they both want#they're exploring with this companionship that they're still trying to get a feel for#we as an audience might know they never do fully work their shit out and so are doomed but they don't at that point#last thing I guess is that I am not here to start shit it's fictional and not that serious 4 me 2 care enough 2 go after any1#not individually no#These are just my thoughts#I heavily caution using this idea of it being like the pimp 'jumped out' or whatever for reasons above#and its racist implications as others have said more bluntly (I've implied it)
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midnightdemonhunter · 1 year ago
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am i the original, the remains, or the later writing?
Fresh off my first watching of Sophomore Year, I was desperate for more Nightmare Forest-esque content for my beloved bad kids. Thankfully, I immediately stumbled upon @gilears fic Over and Through! I absolutely adored this fic, bingereading it in one go, and knew I needed to show my love and feelings somehow!!
So here are the six bad kids' personal hells, shown in my order of reading!
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xskyll · 5 months ago
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kazewhara · 9 months ago
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good night, kazewhara.
i'm strongly considering combing through this blog, making another to truly archive all the works and long-winded headcanons, and then re-purposing this blog for this silly little podcast.
scrolling through this blog is truly like a time capsule. the community i managed to create and the friends i made whilst writing here will never ever leave my memory. i look back on this blog whenever i need a pick-me-up because everyone who was involved in creating this blog mean so, so much to me. foundationally, i truly think the support made me more confident in my creative skills despite me being at my most depressed when i was using this blog and awlumii. i was suicidal, severely underweight and malnourished.. it was bad. but i'm better now. MUCH better.
so in all seriousness, i may just slowly come back. definitely not writing genshin stuff since my interests have shifted, but i may write other things as well as provide updates on the podcast that my friends and i are making. i don't want to dredge up old negative emotions, but i want to move forward with the love i was shown and create something new once again.
this blog, kazewhara, was my best and closest friend when i needed it the most. as were all of my anons and mutuals and followers. but it's time to heal and move on.
i'm mostly on @/kopivie these days, so awlumii is probably just a completely dead blog now. but kazewhara is a mouthpiece that i will definitely be using to my advantage. not that i'm going to make it like, solely for business -- i do want to be comfy and happy here as well -- but i do have an agenda, so... yeah.
thank you, kazewhara, for all you've done for me. zuzu's not coming back.
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vaguely-concerned · 3 days ago
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making myself a proper healthy & delicious dinner like 'lucanis dellamorte would be so proud of me. not that he has a fucking leg to stand on because he's almost certainly slept all of 50 minutes in the last 48 hours and is more caffeine than man right now, but still'
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown
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#i dont want to sound like a maniac but. i manifested this JDKFLGLVLV#okay but understand. ive been vettonso posting for like 3 or so weeks now#have been drawing them like its my god damn career#have been squealing and screeching over them with everyone#and like oh hey! they're both gonna be at suzuka! and seb is having a bee event! maybe nando will go!#BUT THEN NO I DONT HAVE TO JUST LIVE WITH SCRAPS. I GOT A WHOLE FUCKING MEAL#I AM GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND ROLL AROUND THE FLOOR#*i say as if i haven't done all of those things in quick succession after seeing these#yknow very fortuitous time for my parents to have gone on a vacation. so they didnt have to be witness to the emotional breakdown i just had#i was making noises that have not been uttered by human beings before :)#BUT LIKE INWAS LITERALLT JUDT DRAWING VETTONSO FANART#AND I FINISHED IT AND SCHEDULED IT#and was all silly in the tags like 'haha wonder if we'll get any interaction'#and then i go to scroll tumblr one last time before slepeing and I RECEIVE THIS FUCKING 12 COURSE MEAL#i cannot actually describe the emotion i felt when i first saw the pic#like genuine fucking shock through my body like just was like 'is this actually happening'#i said to C today 'i will be happy if we even get a pic of them within eachother's vicinity'#and well wow. theyre certainly within each others vicinities rn#if we actually get any more pics i think i will keel over i think i will actually turn into dust and powder on the floor#UGHHHHHHH JUST THE TIMING!!!!!! THEY DID IT FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#sometimes manifesting does work. after you draw like 20 hours worth of art of them#im trying to be concise but i really cant#because its literally just animal screeching and whining noises in my head rn#HOW DO I SLEEP AFTER THIS???????????????#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#2023 japanese gp#we do a little bit of f1
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fisheito · 2 months ago
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yakuya in MY swamp? in MY ecosystem? no . i am still in disbelief. i hope you all know that my particles are bouncing off the everything. i am using periods as punctuation but the state of my mind is naught neareth final.
#the devs really did surprise me.....i'll credit them with that#i fully believed it was gonna be rei#i looked at that silhouette. saw the chunky heels. thought of kuya#but i scoffed at myself. tch. of course not. devs wont play with their strange topbottom segregation. i'll never get the yakuya event#at least not until it's with garu so they have a yokai hella exposition event#it's gonna be rei at a specific angle to SIMULATE a kuya. he will be wearing kuya-esque heels just to spite all the kuyafans#AND YET HERE WE ARE#UNDER THE SEA NO LESS#WHAT ARE THEY DOING INVADING MY SPACE LIKE THIS#like hell i'm gonna share my zone (abyssopelagic) with those accursed sirens#i'm going lower#i'm moving to the trenches. i'm gonna slowly lose the use of my eyeball sight . i'm gonna adapt to conditions#SO MANY conditions. maybe even learn to bioluminesce#actually no. then the predators might find me. and i'll have to regain the use of my eyes in order to improve my chances of escape#perchance even enlargen them like the giant squid. living in constant fear of a fox or a snake appearing in the depths#yet i get the creeping suspicion that kuya is just going to bully yakumo (when he's not bullying eiden)#kuya gonna drop a sad story about personal sacrifice and the difficult lives he's lived#and yakumo ever the baby in comparison will stare at him with his massive saucer eyes like.... do i... deserve to feel sadness?#if i have not gone through the trials and tragedies that master kuya has???#is kuya gonna be soft yokai grandpa or is he gonna be Auntie of Hard Reality#the boy just wants to find new soup ingredients#kuya will then unveil the ethical ramifications of harvesting these specific ingredients#and using them for a purpose other than their original spiritual intent by the indigenous merfolk#along with the questionable supply chain and processes that go into creating the ingredients in the first place#(not that any ethics or spirituality rituals or stuff like that is actually enough to influence kuya's behaviour in any way)#but it'll certainly mess with yakumo!!!! and that's where all the fun is?#furrows brow. what will they do with this event.....#i am so very excited to see them interact..!#mirage of scales#yakuya
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glouris · 3 months ago
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need the current hotd ao3 economics explained to me like I'm five, what happened there with aemond and luke?
and like don't get me wrong, I understand that those targs are built different and there's no avoiding alabama dynamics, that's okay ig. but the least y'all could've done is chosen the velaryon brother that isn't 13, come on now 😭😭 the bar was already low, how did y'all manage to still be limbo dancing with the devil
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atopvisenyashill · 5 months ago
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my hot take of the day is that clearly the people who swallow the in universe targ & valyrian exceptionalism are being completely taken in by the exact system that george is trying to critique but also i think the people who over correct into this idea that not a single targaryen is worthy of like, our empathy or sorrow or are rightfully chafing against the structures put in place by valyrians, first men, and andals alike are also being incredibly 2d in their analysis. i feel like this happens most often when people try to make the case that andals are somehow oppressed in westerosi society on a cultural level simply bc valyrian supremacy trumps andal culture. i think this is incredibly silly to say or posit as the truth in universe because there is in fact some oppression of culture in westeros but it’s not the andals lol!!! it’s the first men, the dornish, the rhoynar/greenblood orphans, and the ironborn. there Is some level of,,,, idk bigotry/xenophobia towards valyrians but only valyrians who don’t worship the faith - people like larra rogare, who still follow valyrian gods, do face this bigotry because they’re Too Foreign, the same way someone like thoros, melisandre, taena, etc who are essosi but not from a still heavy valyrian-based society like volantis and lys, and that’s definitely important to the conversation, because it shows the Dominant Culture is in fact the Andal culture when it comes to westeros and that’s like,,, fine, and even more interesting to me to see how andals, who have been the dominant force on westeros for thousands of years, interact with valyrians, who clearly want to keep ideas of valyrian supremacy alive somehow and essentially try to get the other dominant force in westeros to buy in (which they do!). like, are these two at odds sometimes? yes! but i don’t think it’s correct to say that the andals face ~prejudice for being andals or followers of the faith either!
#like certainly people in fandom get insane about the andals bc they’re projecting their hate of catholicism onto them.#but george himself is not writing about how all catholics are inherently evil he’s writing about the STRUCTURE being evil. i think the#series in fact finds something useful in one person’s individual faith & the way they may internalize it. that’s why we get the quiet isle!#getting on my soap box#yes i did see a post about the [redacted] being oppressed by the mean evil valyrians and rolled my eyes.#anyways like this idea that the valyrians are being forcibly assimilated? false! they are doing it very willingly as a matter of fact! aegon#and jaehaerys and viserys all in fact are clearly trying to mesh themselves with andals not bc they are forcing the family to assimilate#but bc they believe the only way to keep valyrian supremacy going is to team up with the culture in westeros that Does frequently impose#itself on its neighbors! i’m not saying the andals are like the ultimate big bad evil here either that’s just as stupid as the knee jerk#‘every targ is evil and anyone who fights them is morally corrupt’ thing that happens in this dumb ass fandom but i AM saying the andals cut#down every weirwood in the south & attempted to do like glorified missionary work in the iron islands instead of actually engaging w what it#is that makes the ironborn so fucking deranged.#anyways the only leaders who are unproblematic are mors and nymeria for managing to mesh two cultures in a way that wasn’t insane aksjdj#dorne has its problems re: deeply entrenched class structures & the use of marriage as punishment but at least people aren’t whipping#ellaria naked through the streets like the andals love to do to essosi women 😭😭#‘oh didn’t dorne oppress the rhoynar’ i said they were better not perfect thank you!!!!! aksjd
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icannotgetoverbirds · 10 months ago
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Share to save a dandruff-haver's sanity
i am making this post because all my life i have been told my dandruff was my fault for not washing my hair correctly and shamed for having "poor hygiene" as a result - this is probably where the bfrbs started tbh.
SO. There are two main types of dandruff!
Dry scalp flakes: these are white and itty bitty! you can probably solve this with a good hair and skincare routine. HOWEVER unless they are bothering you it is absolutely not necessary for any kind of health reason (afaik! disclaimer! i am not a doctor! this is not actionable medical advice nor should you take me anywhere near as seriously as a dermatologist). IS NOT CAUSED BY POOR HYGIENE.
Fungal dandruff: Bigger, yellowish, possibly oily/greasy flakes! Caused by your genetics going Oops All Yeast! Generally requires a prescription antifungal treatment from a dermatologist! ALSO NOT CAUSED BY POOR HYGIENE.
Either way, if you have dandruff, a dermatologist is the one you want to consult if it's bothering you! and frankly, even if it was a hygiene issue, nobody deserves to be shamed for that!!!!! especially considering that there are plenty of people who struggle to shower regularly due to circumstances beyond their control!
AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE STOP SHAMING PEOPLE WITH DANDRUFF!!!!
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sapphire-weapon · 4 months ago
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update: i am Unwell
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prolibytherium · 1 year ago
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Absolutely death gripped clenched trying not to comment on reductive posts on ancient greek homosexual relationships
#It is neither wholly '0mg two gay guys in love!!' and 'I am humiliating and debasing a lower man by making a woman out of him'#There's heavy elements of that in how they conceptualized penetrator vs penetrated but the erastes (lover/protector) and eromenos (beloved)#relationship was significantly more complex than that#Like it is conceptualized as sort of a mentor/mentee relationship and a positive element for an adolescent's development#It was the subject of romantic plays and you get things like people in antiquity in heated debates over who is the#erastes and who is the eromenos between Achilles and Patroclus (to better depict them in plays)#The bottom line is more 'the socially accepted m/m relationships were (what we would now consider) an adult and a child#(or young man) with the age difference being a fundamental element to the dynamic.'#And more broadly being penetrated in sex assigned a 'lower' or 'womanly' role and it would not be conventionally accepted#for an older/more socially powerful man to recieve penetration (which certainly DID happen though)#So absolutely a moment in the history of male homosexuality and not something to just go 'ew ew bad evil ewwie' about but also#not something you want to project modern conceptions of LGBT identity upon#Also we know relatively little about relationships between women in ancient Greece due to lack of sources due to being a#highly patriarchal culture but we can't actually know that they did not involve similar power dynamic#Certainly not to the same extent or in such a well socially defined way (bc they conceptualize sex almost entirely through a lens of#penetration) but I think you should be treating relations between ancient Greek women with the same degree of#historical distance from our lives and identities today.#Ok death grip failed I just typed an entire rant. Fiuck it
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the-obnoxious-sibling · 7 months ago
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One day I will cry long enough to make you feel so sorry for me you will write that meta about heteronormativity of marines
aw, you don’t have to cry! asking nicely is all it takes.
so, when i say the marines are a rigid, heteronormative institution, what do i mean by that?
they work in the service of a heteronormative government and society—the world government, and the world nobles, who consider themselves superior to the rest of the world because of their bloodlines
they have heteronormative values—among them strictly defined gender roles and prioritizing relationships based in blood/deprioritizing all others
they use those values to dictate how the ‘civilized’ world should behave and assume that everyone shares those values, marking those who do not as uncivilized, criminal, and rebellious
more details below the cut.
any kind of royalty or nobility that defines itself as superior to the masses because of their bloodline, ancestors, etc. is going to be particular about having proof of that blood connection. if you think your blood makes you better, you better have documentation of it, family trees going back eight hundred years so no latecomers can doubt your importance.
they’re also going to care deeply about the “sanctity of marriage”—not because it’s actually sacred, but because if wives are cheating on their husbands then you can’t trust your family tree. and if your family tree is a lie, then maybe you aren’t actually superior to all of those dirty, common masses. the horror!
lastly, they have to care deeply about children. because, until someone develops some kind of immortality elixir, the only way to keep your very important family going (and it has to keep going, or what’s the point of any of this?) is to have children. and you’re going to prioritize biological children over any other, because if the child doesn’t have your blood, they aren’t really superior to the masses.
(the exception: note that the child sabo’s parents adopt when he runs away is chosen for his aptitude in school and his higher status biological family. bringing fresh blood into your family that improves your status is always beneficial, whether it’s through marriage or adoption.)
so. special bloodlines, preserved by marriages that produce biological children. until someone develops alternate methods of reproduction—which is not out of the question in one piece—all of that requires heterosexual relationships. they have to be the priority, in order for the superior bloodlines to persist.
thus, the prioritization and normalization of heterosexuality by the world nobles—and therefore the world government that serves them—and therefore the marines that serve them.
.
what about those heteronormative values?
well, look at female marines. there aren’t many of them; even if you’re only thinking about named marines, women are outnumbered nearly ten to one. and the unnamed background guys are always guys, so actually it’s an even greater disparity. why? because a woman’s place is in the home. she should be a homemaker and mother, because continuing the family line is the point of a woman, according to the nobility’s heteronormative view of the world. going against that is to set yourself up for a struggle. and a number of these ladies do struggle.
bell-mère had to leave the marines to keep her kids, taking on a job with a highly variable income that left her nearly starving at times; men in the marines have no such trouble, though whether that’s because of narratively invisible wives or these men not caring if they raise their children well is unclear.
tashigi has an enormous complex over being treated differently because she’s a woman, and it’s not a complex that comes out of nowhere—she is treated differently. most of her opponents beat her easily and then let her live for no good reason; as a captain she’s idolized, not respected, by her crew.
then there’s characters like hina and tsuru, whose presence high up in the military structure is acceptable because they have powers that put their opponents into submissive, humiliating positions. you don’t see a female marine with one of those elemental devil fruits; no, they have to have a fruit with a power play component to it. because god forbid women hold positions of power if they don’t have a bit of a dominatrix energy to them. (actually it’s because they’re being subversive in service to the state and the status quo, which makes them acceptably quirky rather than rebellious, not unlike members of SWORD, or our single female warlord.)
.
and then there’s the prioritization of bloodlines.
we see that value most clearly in the paramount war, where ace is executed not because he’s the second division commander of the whitebeard pirates, not because of any crimes he’s committed, but because of who his father is. a man who died long before ace was born, a man ace hates because of the awful opinion the civilized world has of him (and therefore his kin), a man who had no influence on ace in any way but blood. that’s enough reason to kill a man, by the marines’ logic.
and the man ace does call father, who embraced ace and gave him a loving family? well, that man, as far as the marines are concerned, only took ace in to put him on the throne of the pirate king, making himself the power behind the throne. (because naturally a king’s son should inherit his throne! never mind that whitebeard’s power far outstrips ace’s—surely pirates would only bow down before their king’s rightful, blood heir—and the marines can’t allow for the pirates to unify under one man’s leadership like that.) to the marines, ace only has value as roger’s heir, and so they expect that to be all the value he has to anyone.
and this backfires on them. the betrayal from within the whitebeard fleet (which the marines orchestrated) operates on the assumption that whitebeard will prioritize ace over the rest of his fleet. but all of the whitebeard pirates are his children, and he makes that clear when he gives them an out, allowing them to abandon him to his death if they so choose. the marines wanted to show the world that even this benevolent father figure of a pirate captain was a monster deep down, but they couldn’t pull it off. they don’t believe whitebeard is sincere in his affections for his ‘sons,’ and that costs them the narrative they wanted for the paramount war.
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there’s also this one-off line that i rediscovered while rereading impel down/marineford to prep for this post, which in retrospect explains garp’s manic insistence on his grandson becoming a marine.
in chapter 530, hearing that luffy’s broken into impel down, sengoku shouts, “if you weren’t called ‘the navy’s hero,’ i’d make you pay for the sins of your entire family, garp!” as a counterpart to it being just and lawful to kill people for the crime of being related to a sufficiently dangerous criminal, garp and others like him believe that if you serve the state well enough, you can be forgiven for the crime of being related to a criminal.
if luffy (and ace) had just become a marine, garp thinks, then the identity of luffy’s father wouldn’t matter.
which strikes me as very naive. of course it would still matter; blood is the only thing that matters to these people.
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stargazerdaisy · 2 months ago
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I.... I.... I think you mean Iowa, not Idaho...
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im14andivebeen14foramonth · 28 days ago
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ha ha ha. the way my feelings started to grow for my best friend right before I found out he's moving states and states away over the summer. ha ha ha. so pony and johnny core hahhaha
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