#am a mess of a human
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Messing up while trying to learn healthier coping skills or communication skills doesn't mean your progress ceases to exist.
If you lashed out at someone during an argument instead of using your coping skills, it's okay to forgive yourself. If you reacted based on your emotional urge instead of looking at the situation, that's okay. It happens.
No one is perfect all the time. I think we expect so much more of ourselves. In my case, because I felt so ashamed of who I used to be. It makes me feel extra pressure to "do better". But the reality is, people who aren't in recovery mess up too. And sometimes they may not even notice it.
You don't need to beat yourself up about it. In fact, beating yourself up about it doesn't really help anyone. You can learn from it. Was there something going on that made it harder to use your coping skills? Was there a certain trigger? Maybe a bad day? Take your new knowledge and move forward.
Your progress still very much exists. I promise.
#my post#i failed a lot when i self taught myself skills#i'd use really great communication skills for awhile#and then i'd ignore them to act on my emotions#even now i still mess up#it doesn't happen nearly as much#and i think i will always mess up#because i am human#but i can be accountable#and do better#also like#how i react after messing up is different now too#i apologize#i admit what i did wrong#and i try to do better
959 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ford will not be able to fully communicate with ghost stan btw, he has to stay in his isolated horror story because i hate him
#(i do not i am sorry ford)#some ghost rule or stan's subconcious or Bill interferance (maybe there's a “can see ghosts” wire in human brains that he messes with😂)#frankenghost au
535 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay so this is almost a direct copy-paste of my earlier reblog but only the Xin Yuan parts, because its long enough to be its own post and i want to share it! It deserves it's own post <3 typical starry stuff to write a 2k word long reblog, unfortunately.
I say almost because I went through to proof read and ended up adding more stuff.
I've been cooking on this idea for the last two days since I saw the Xin Mo!Shen Yuan post but??? I can't find anything on Xin Mo's backstory or how it came to be -- which means that's free fucking plot right there baby. That's a sandbox and im making LIFE SIZED CASTLES. I'm so excited.
The idea of Shen Yuan transmigrating centuries before the events of PIDW as Xin Mo -- but when he wakes up, he's not the sword. He wakes up in the body of a young boy named Xin Yuan. Now it makes sense for this boy to be a demon, but the drama, the intrigue, the spice of Xin Yuan being a human child.
SY wakes up as a boy below the age of ten, and the System tells him where he is, and SY is excited to meet his favorite protagonist -- only to gradually realize that he's like, a thousand years or so before the events of the novel. The rant he gives the system is legendary.
Bc what's the point of getting dropped into PIDW if he's never going to meet his favorite character??? This is a scam! BUT he settles into his new life, he's like, some orphan street rat or some other tragic airplane-esq backstory.
The system gives Shen Yuan his first mandatory quest: become a righteous cultivator. Which was like, kinda his plan/hopes anyways, except! There's like?? No official cultivator sects anywhere? The Cang Qiong Mountain Sect hasn't even been established yet, and there are pockets of cultivators running around, maybe some groups or schools popping up and then sinking back down, but nothing's really taken root!
If he asks someone how to become a cultivator, there's no straight answer. No "oh you can go to X to do that". He's pissed! How can he become a cultivator if there aren't any schools around to teach him? Deus ex machina, that's how.
Out of sheer luck, SY manages to help save a rogue cultivator, and promptly gets adopted by said rogue cultivator, who gives SY the name 'Xin Yuan'. He is ecstatic. And you know what? It's actually pretty fun!
He's getting to travel the world of PIDW in its early stages, and gets to see the building blocks for the eventual main story. He's discovering all this local flora and fauna that are foreign to his old world and unmentioned in the book, and he's learning cultivation! Granted, its unsafe, newly(ish) discovered cultivation, but it counts!
Wistfully, he thinks about perhaps he'll do something grand and get his name carved into legend. Something that would eventually help the protagonist later down the line in his quest for revenge.
The system remains silent to his thoughts.
But Xin Yuan doesn't take much stock in that daydream anyways. It's nothing more than fantasy to him; wish-fulfillment. He does discover however, that he is positively brimming with spiritual energy. Overwhelmingly so.
It's both a blessing and a curse, as it puts a strain on his meridians if he's not careful, and leaves him prone to qi deviations for the exact same reasons. He already has a heart demon or two from a few traumatic experiences in the past.
(bc hey! angst a day keeps the writer sadism at bay, and all that)
I'll say he's about... eight when he gets picked up by the rogue cultivator, who I'm calling Lin Kai bc he deserves a name. They travel around PIDW up until Xin Yuan is twelve, where he goes through a traumatic experience that results in a heart demon.
It's after that that Lin Kai decides to put a stop to his wandering, and find a place to settle down to raise Xin Yuan in. Coincidentally! They settle down in a nice mountain region that's thriving with spiritual energy. The mountains at the time were called something different, but they will be eventually known as the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect
Coincidentally, the mountain Lin Kai and Xin Yuan end up on is Qing Jing Peak. XY does not realize that the mountain he's on is Qing Jing. The System does not tell him. But he likes it there, more than he was expecting. And as much as he's traveled around, he really does enjoy being in one place.
He has a tendency to go down the mountain and help the village setting up down there, and when he's a teenager he starts venturing out more and more.
Xin Yuan forgets sometimes that he's in a novel, especially after settling down on Qing Jing peak. The system becomes remarkably quiet since there's no quests for him to do and not a ton of opportunities to get B-Points. He cultivates with Lin Kai, helps tend to the garden they're growing, goes down to the village to play with the other kids.
There's one boy he's best friends with, a boy whose not all that good with words, named Liu Zhihao. He's got potential for cultivation though, so Xin Yuan drags him up the mountain when he can so that Liu Zhihao can sit in on lessons with Lin Kai. He drags him all over the forest at the foot of the mountain to go look at bugs and animals.
(One time, when they're fourteen and Liu Zhihao has been learning cultivation for a few years now, Xin Yuan drags him out of bed late one night to go look at the stars. Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao about ascension -- something that still feels like a far off dream to many in this time -- that night, while they're sitting on the wet grass.)
("We should ascend together." Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao, jade eyes gleaming. Never let it be said that Xin Yuan doesn't love deeply, no matter what kind of love it is. He was always so lonely as Shen Yuan, Liu Zhihao is his best friend. "We'll become immortals, and then we won't ascend until the other is able to.")
(Liu Zhihao stares at him silently, his face unreadable. Then, quietly, he asks; "Promise?")
("Promise.")
When he starts adventuring outwards, further away from the mountain and the village, Liu Zhihao sticks to him like rice. Not that Xin Yuan's complaining, that's his best friend after all, and Liu Zhihao has become a formidable cultivator. He deserves to show off his skills.
He starts making something of a name for himself by the time he's, like, 18 -- although that name is in its baby steps, along with Liu Zhihao. They're slowly growing renown.
Perhaps XY uses his knowledge of PIDW and cultivation in general to help make advancements in the cultivation field. Although the system prevents him from sharing too much, it doesn't mean he can't practice it himself. Perhaps he's one of the first cultivators to develop a golden core. One of the first known immortal cultivators. One of the first to have a spirit sword.
(Although I don't know the logistics of any of this since my knowledge on xanxia/cultivation stuff in general is all still pretty new and google wasn't all that helpful lol.)
Either way, its my excuse to eventually make Xin Yuan come across as ethereal to other people. Peerless beauty SY for the win. Hs wifebeam is too strong, Xin Yuan has a line of suitors following after him and he's completely unaware of it. The rest of history is not.
Demon realm stuff has been stirring up since Xin Yuan was a kid, but at the time it was rare and in the beginning stages. Its been steadily ramping up and the system is sending him on more and more treacherous quests -- some of them mandatory, some optional. SY doesn't often take the optional ones unless it comes with a sufficient B-point reward.
for all intents and purposes though, he's a wandering rogue cultivator with Liu Zhihao, going from place to place to either help a town or village, or to discover more creatures or artifacts (although there aren't that many). Just all around living his life. He participates in a few major quest lines that are sure to get him mentioned in legend, even if it's a background character way.
(Unbeknownst to him, rather than being a side character in these legends, he's named directly. You can't become one of the first immortal cultivators and NOT get name dropped for clout.)
He has a spirit sword named Shā Mó, (杀 shā - to kill/weaken/counteract/reduce) (魔 mó - evil spirit, demon, possession). He routinely goes back to QJP to see Lin Kai, or to rest when traveling has worn down on him and he wants nothing more than to sleep somewhere he knows he'll be safe in. It becomes more frequent as Xin Yuan becomes more famous. Liu Zhihao often comes with him.
it all comes to a head though when the rifts between the demonic realm and the human realm become too great, and the balance between both realms becomes unstable. A demonic emperor's influence, wanting to merge the two realms so he could conquer both to satiate his own greed.
Typical evil king stuff. This comes to a climatic head in a great battle between every cultivator available and the demon emperor's army. Xin Yuan was one of the many who helped lead the charge.
In the end, it was Xin Yuan who ends up defeating the demonic emperor, but the rift that the emperor used to cross between worlds is destabilizing as well. Except instead of trying to close, it's getting bigger and bigger, threatening to swallow the heavens and earth and demonic realm whole.
You know how Yue Qingyuan's soul is bonded to his sword due to a qi deviation? Let's take it a step further >:)
Xin Yuan uses himself and Shā Mó to close the rift. However, it takes all of his spiritual energy to do so, as well as him filtering the demonic qi into his body to redirect it back to the demon realm.
In the end, Xin Yuan and his beloved sword Shā Mó fuse. Xin Yuan's soul becomes trapped in the sword. His physical body is unable to handle the immense amount of power it takes to close the rift, and is destroyed. He is immortalized in legend by his grieving cultivators.
(Liu Zhihao ends up ascending alone. He ascends with the hope that one day he'll see Xin Yuan again, even if it's in the face of someone else. Lin Kai does not ascend, too weighed down by the grief of losing his son.)
Xin Yuan, now Xin Mo, falls into a stasis. He's very confused and disorientated when he regains 'consciousness'. The system has been silent for most of his life, only popping up to give him mandatory quests, hints, points, or to answer any questions.
But once he wakes up, it cheerfully pops up again, congratulating him on completing the origin story of Xin Mo. SY freaks the fuck out. he'd shake the system screen if he could, but he doesn't have arms. or legs. or eyes for that matter.
He can sense his surroundings, but its all like imprints to him. He can sense the energies, but he can't see anything. It's all very disorientating and horrifying after years of being human. Like a sensory deprivation chamber.
The closing of the rift and the cycling demonic qi tainted both Sha Mo and Xin Yuan irreparably, and it did some kind of damage that resulted in SY needing to feed in order to use the spiritual powers. Kinda like how Xuan Su uses YQY's life force for it's spiritual energy, but instead of feeding on his own lifeforce, Xin Mo feeds on others.
The rest is history. Xin Mo is originally tied to the story of Xin Yuan -- believed to be all that remained of the man after he sacrificed himself to keep the realms separate. It's believed that the force of the realms closing permanently infused Sha Mo with demonic energy, turning it into Xin Mo.
But, like many stories do when faced against the tide of time, things get lost; chipped off; changed. Xin Mo is steadily separated from Xin Yuan, especially once it becomes clear how parasitic the sword really is, until they are all but separate entities themselves and the origin of Xin Mo's creation all but forgotten.
The years blur together when Xin Mo is not being wielded, and at first Xin Yuan was agonized by the fact that he stole the lives of all his wielders. He knows it's only a novel, but his decades spent in this life have softened him, and he's grown attached to the world around him.
But time erodes the mind like water erodes stone, and he becomes numb to it, then eventually anticipating of it. He forces himself to remember what he knows of PIDW's plot, and kinda fixates back on his old obsession on Luo Binghe. But while PIDW stays in his mind, his memories as Xin Yuan fall to the wayside.
Not forgotten, per se, but... tucked away. The system prevents him from forgetting fully.
Xin Mo isn't fully a demonic sword either i think, but instead harbors an ugly cocktail of both spiritual and demonic qi. Special circumstances and all that. Everyone just assumes he's a fully demonic sword because that's usually at the forefront, his spiritual qi weakened from the initial fusion and from years of not being fed spiritual qi. It's part of the reason his wielders always end up destroyed by him, other than the whole, yk, 'overwhelming qi' thing.
Nobody would recognize Xin Mo's human form as Xin Yuan other than some truly ancient demons. Of which Meng Mo might. But even that's iffy because there's a lack of surviving paintings of Xin Yuan, but also because of XM's demonic appearance and supposed lack of connection to XY.
Xin Mo has never spoken to his wielders before, not in the same way he does Luo Binghe. He tells Luo Binghe this, and he also tells Luo Binghe down the line that he is both spiritual and demonic -- something he also never told his wielders because there was no point to it.
okay okay i've got to end it here because its already gotten ridiculously long -- of which im both apologetic and unapologetic for -- but i DO think the Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan meeting (and reveal) would be fucking hilarious. Especially if SY has learned how to pop between sword form and human form by then -- although i guess it doesnt matter either way because SQH's reaction is still the same.
And that reaction is internally screaming and going "hey what the FUCK?? WHY DOES XIN MO HAVE A HUMAN FORM??? WHAT IS THIS??? SYSTEM??? EXPLAIN???"
meanwhile from his place on the sword hilt xin mo is squinting at Shang Qinghua in bewilderment and going "aren't you supposed to be dead" but doesn't pay too much mind to it because its not like its going to change anything.
...up until he catches shang qinghua going "WTF" silently from his little corner while all eyes are off him. One moment SQH is standing beside his king, and the next he's been tackled to the ground by one wild-eyed, human-shaped Xin Mo.
everyone, including SQH, thinks Xin Mo is going to kill him. It is a surprise to everyone when he does not, and instead dissolves into deranged, uncontrollable laughter after spitting out some phrase in some ancient tongue and watching SQH's eyes grow wide in recognition.
#svsss au#svsss#scum villain au#scum villain#scum villain self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#liu zhihao is indeed based off liu qingge. i am a multishipper at heart and liushen is a delicious ship. XY and LZ i think were very devote#to each other regardless of if it was romantic or platonic. they're besties! and im a sucker for devotion in all aspects. its neat :)#XM eventually tells LBH about how he used to be human once and he tells him about his Xiao Zhi. and that he hopes Xiao Zhi was able to reac#ascension in his absence. LBH silently seethes with jealousy and abandonment issues a mile wide. he asks XM if he misses him. XM gets this#unreadable distant look on his face that makes him look far more mortal than is comfortable. then he mutters 'yes.' LBH hates it#Cang Qiong sect gets miraculously spared by Luo Binghe on account of 'my demonic sword grew up here and he'd be upset if i ruined it'#does LZH look like LQG? ...i want to say yes bc itd be crime to derive SY of LQG's beauty even if he never knows what LQG looks like#imagine XM as human coming to clash with YQY. he takes one look at YQY. then at Xuan Su. before going 'we're alike. you and i.'#rip SQH. executed for the crime of *checks scroll* making XM laugh before Binghe could. making XM laugh at all actually#XM is usually very reserved and restrained but for the first time in a thousand years he's met someone just like him. the emotional rush#is intense. SQH asks him later how long he's been Xin Mo. expecting like. at LEAST a few years now or after him but then XM blinks at him#and then mutters something about how he's lost track of time. oh hey btw what year it is??? he forgot to ask. SQH tells him and Xin Mo says#'oh! about a thousand years now' 'WHAT' and XM tells him about being Xin Yuan which SQH was not expecting. whether thats because#he genuinely wasnt expecting it or it was part of his outline or an idea he messed around with and didnt expect to make it into the world#SQH tells him about the legend of Xin Yuan. XM is stunned. he asks about Liu Zhihao. LZH made it into legend too. which XM is very#pleased by. 'good. he deserves it for all the hard work he put in.'
152 notes
·
View notes
Text
goodbye waynehouse, i have a job now
#i am back with hylics as humans stuff yet again#he's either going to Gibby's place to wreck his new yard installation that looks like a suspicious antenna to mind control the neighbourhoo#or just getting into his own house with horses and squirrels to mess with toilet storage systems#i kinda dont want him to be a plumber... maybe he's checking out ventilations or electricity circuits#havent thought that far yet#for more details you can look at the alt text but thats all i have for now#hylics#wayne hylics#decres hylics#some of them are bald (almost all) some of them have wavy hair (one). i mean it could be like a house rule?#or maybe its genetic? and then who are the parents? uhhhhh- runs away and hides#artstump
238 notes
·
View notes
Text
So yes I have OF COURSE read @naffeclipse new fic Apex Polarity and yes, I AM OBSESSED!
So I decided to make a little comic of how I think their "first encounter" might have looked like from Eclipse's perspective.
I can't help but think about how alien and scary we most look to him (especially if there is a history of fasco hunting polar sirens in the past). With all that gear we look like emotionless beings, just observing and uncaring of this ice world. But then when y/n shows up and probably exudes this joy and wonder for his world + shows respect for the creatures and the environment??? Mmh yeah, I can see Eclipse falling for y/n, especially considering how alone he might be...
So yes, that's what I have for today! If you want to read the fic I'll link it right here. I can't recommend it enough, but as always, read the tags so you know what you're getting into! And lastly I also want to @themeeplord beacuse Eclipse's design is basically their design in my style (god I love their design so much, their character/creature designs are the BEST) so all the credit goes to them! Polar!Y/N is my design thou! ;P
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read the two latest chapters-
YIPPEE!!!
#apex polarity#orca!eclipse#polar y/n#dca#dca fandom#I am once again plagued by the terrible ramble disease#but I got thoughts and I wanna share them >:/#so here are some more:#when I say the humans look alien I mean Grey alien level alien#Emotionless face? Check. Big empty eyes? Check. Studying and probing the inhabitants? Check. Possibly abducts inhabitants? Check#or mad scientist vibe#imagine professor Membrane from Invader Zim while he's saying 'I know better know' <- that kind of vibe#ok- one last thought!#as you can see- I decided to go full out and try coloring and stuff!#and one of the reasons why I decided to do that is because I'm not well practised in those departments- but I want to get better at them!#so if you think this looks like a hot mess- it's because they are XD#but with all this considered- I think I did pretty well!#So I hope you enjoyed it! XD#Now I'm giving all of you who's read ALL OF THIS a giant gold star#because wow- you're dedication and focus is absolutely INSANE and I appreciate you taking the time to read this#NOW GO AND BE FREE MY FRIEND!!!
890 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk how many of these captions i can just make "completely normal guy who does not kill people" but cub really is the completely normal guy who is not a cannibal guy
#hermitaday#cubfan fanart#cubfan135#hermitcraft fanart#hermitblr#my art#cub#i usually am not a fan of “this guy is secretly not human” headcanons but in cubs case that's kinda. yeah.#i get to be a hypocrite once in awhile it's fun#i like to think cub is pretty chill about being a vex. he's not hiding it necessarily he just forgets to tell you#and one day he's like oh yeah that's the blood lair. yeah that's the lair where we keep the blood. yeah the blood lair for the blood magic#and then he'd apologise for the mess and casually move on to showing you the living room#idk why these tags have turned into a reader insert cubfan house tour
268 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌻 in any life 🌻
the character redesigns in Trigun Stampede finally caused my brain to realize all of the similarities between two of my most beloved ships: Vash and Wolfwood, and Touya and Yukito. Both, just a couple a sad boys - one of them inhuman and one of them with inhuman powers - trying to find a way to be together and protect the people they love from forces way outside of their control.
#trigun#trigun stampede#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#pidgy drew#Trigun and Card Captor Sakura are both so formative to who i am as a human being that it's pretty messed up#lol lol lol lol lol#both these ships got too much 'please just let them be happy' energy that will eat at my heart like voracious worms until the day i die#(oO v Oo)#artists on tumblr#digital art
307 notes
·
View notes
Text
slime time!!! + headcanons (y juevos)
#qsmp#mcyt#q!slimecicle#charlie slimecicle#slimecicle#juanaflippa#dapper#q!dapper#the detachable limbs thing is not for angst its because its funny#q!slime has like... cartoon character physics to me#whats the word. cartoon laws#if you hit him witha big hammer he'd go flat like a pancake and then waddle away#i also hc he's malleable and stretchy. like goo !!!#hes canonically half slime half human iirc (or hes implied to be) and that makes me really happy#slime time slime time#i am still trying to figure out how to draw the eggs.... ive got juanaflippa down i think but im still messing around with the others#i think i have only drawn flippa dapper and. gegg#so far#guys youll. you. y. youll never guess who my favorite is. youll nev#i want to make him as much as a cryptid as i possibly can
266 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I finally had time to sit down and play through 2.3 this week and man I have a lot of Feelings about all of it, but today it's about Gallagher and Mikhail because!
The devotion of a dog! Gallagher's dedication lasting beyond Mikhail's death and then some! The way he let himself be seen through knowing it would mean his own death because it would help to accomplish his and Mikhail's dream! The immense regret and long lasting guilt of not helping Mikhail when he needed him! THE WAY MISHA CALLS GALLAGHER "MY HOUND-"
Ahem. I'm normal I swear. Anyway.
And one of my favorite displays of this undying loyalty? This.
This is the record you unlock in 2.3 after Siobahn brings up Gallagher's death in the Dreamjolt Hostelry. Right after "to the Nameless resting in peace... and to Gallagher."
La Messe de l'athée translates to The Mass of the Atheist. It was a short story about a man who goes to church, and is surprised to see another man whom he knows is an atheist attending mass, all alone. When questioned, the atheist says that he attends for a friend. This friend had banded with him when they were both poor, and acted as a father figure to him. The atheist managed to pull himself from poverty with his help, and did everything he could to repay and take care of his friend thereafter.
The friend died of illness some years later.
The atheist is still an atheist. But he attends mass on the behalf of the religious friend that saved him, and recites the prayers he heard whispered on his deathbed. These borrowed prayers are the closest a man like him could get to being a true believer, but he always holds out hope that those beliefs might enter his head.
There is so much in there, in the story they decided on as our final memento of Gallagher, that this is what was chosen to immortalize him, and ARGH OTL
#honkai star rail#hsr#gallagher#hsr gallagher#honkai star rail gallagher#honkai star rail spoilers#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.3#hsr 2.3 spoilers#interestingly la messe de l'athee was part of a series called... le comedie humaine. the human comedy. the same as the diverted universe.#anyway I am a huge sucker for the loyalty of a hound AUGH#what do you mean Gallagher lived his life dedicated to Mikhail and his cause#what do you mean the regrets that haunt him are that he didn't do enough when Mikhail needed him#what am I supposed to do with this information Hoyo how dare you#it's probably a mercy that we don't see a whole lot of Gallagher and Misha together#otherwise dear god I would not shut up ever#Gallagher says that Misha spent his entire life with him and he's grateful for that#did anyone else know like Micah? who Misha came from or who he used to be? or did Gallagher want to give him a chance at a normal life?#how long were they together? how much time did they spend in each other's company?#were they close? did Gallagher look after him? after this reincarnation of the man he devoted his life too that doesn't even know who he is#orz orz orz#hsr mikhail#mikhail char legwork
125 notes
·
View notes
Text
Life on Tour // One Man Band Europe Tour 2024 🖤
#everyone say thank you ben rose 🙏#he seems like such a sweetheart honestly 🥺#and i just love all this bts footage of them all having fun and messing around together#my cheeks literally hurt from smiling after watching it 🥹#it’s just my favourite thing that they all seem to love what they do so much#i am now even more excited to see miles again later this year!! 🌟#so grateful to all these wonderful humans 💖💖💖#miles kane#omb era#one man band#my gifs#lulu posts
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
Watching the Olympics is hilarious because I be judging these S-tier athletes for slightly wavering or not bending their knees properly. Meanwhile I'm on my couch in sweatpants nursing a week-long back pain because I slept wrong 😗
#i've been hella invested in the olympics#i'm watching the women's gymnastic set and like. who am i to judge Miss Ma'am for messing her landing#it's great. i don't really follow sports but the olympics are fun#super cute to see humans do Their Thing and be all proud and happy#olympics
83 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay internet, i know that you not ready for this but
it's strange being all omgyes #slay yay totaly okay for like, all kinks, but going #omg wtf cringe scull emoji about fat kink
like we as society know how kinks works (importance of consents, special rules for practices like using special candles for wax play, etc), we know how really infinite can human fantasy go and so on and so on but why is it still taboo to be openly horny about things like big tasty meal with your lover
can we be finally chill about it
p.s. i have post which gives good arguments on this topic but i couldn't find it by search, only in my blog archive, so here is the link.
The problem with fat kink is not in it existing, but in not-exsisting of range of image of fatness in media
#i have even more old post there i make smth like comming out like:#guys i am the biggest sinner i had fat kink-#- but i hated myself so much and spiralling myself into selfhate because of that so hard that i don't have libido now and don't feel sh it-#-how cool is that guys! i defeated the evil inside!#this post is a mess because its like#it literally has quote smth like “i will better feel nothing then feeling the kink”#like#oh old me#it was good that i posted it back then because people were like#“dude you spiralled for * this * for six years?”#and yes i did spiraling on this for six years#thinking i am worst human on earth#especiallly because i draw representation#btw i am NOT planning to change smth in art or draw fat kink#i mean my art goal is to make art for balance#there are aaaa lot of fat kink art so i am not needed there#but art with just fat characters being interesting characters with lore and story and in some project like leads in game or comics#or art with fat characters who are hot but it isn't about common food theme (i write about it in linked post)#this art is very rare and that is that i do#and will do#thank you for coming to my tedtalk#close y puter and go to the bed with loony tunes noise
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay, so, i just realized i never said this, but if i ever reblog something from you and you want me to take it down, please do just shoot me an ask explaining which post it is and like. try to make it clear that's what you're getting at (ie, if you just send me "fuck you never reblog my stuff i hope you die" i am not going to understand that inherently as a request and more of as a dick move)
because, genuinely, i don't wanna be reblogging something that you're uncomfortable with and if i ever fail to read the room, it's probably a mistake and i would love for you to tell me that i made one.
#original posts#not counting#i try very hard not to reblog anything personal but i might mess up because i am a human person#and i often am queueing stuff at like. 6:30 am approximately? and that's probably not the best time for me always#when i say i need clarification it's just because like. if you're sending me an ask like the example i gave i'm gonna see it as a hate ask#and not as a request per se. and also i do need to know which post because. obviously i do need to know that.#sorry if this is out of nowhere i was just like. worried i might have done something wrong lol#i am first and foremost a worrier so. obviously i'm going to worry about random stuff#OR if you need me to tag something. is that on my pinned post? i will add it to the pinned post#i'm actually add all this to my pinned post. so. yeah. just wanna make sure we're on the same page here#and that i don't offend anyone or. stuff. y'know.
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.
Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.
#I am SICK of Miri’s voice ngl#I know kids are loud. And make a mess of EVERYthing. That’s why i stay away.#But for Kazurei ; I made it to the end#They are precious#Rei is so cute I love this guy#He has 0 human skill and still is effortlessly hilarious and a little cutie 👏💖#i wish we had more of their relationship bc they have sth really special#They never question their trust in each other like it never crosses their mind. They disagree almost all the time but they never part#It’s more natural than breathing. They’re always saying stuff like « it’s not fit to involve other people in our way of life »#it’s not even an option to live apart. They clearly will spend all their lives together#Except that scene it’s so weird when Kazu says « hum with Miri gone we don’t have a reason to live together anymore » lol man#Not as if you guys were already joined at the hip before meeting her. But I get the «the family life changed us now sth’s missing#and it feels incomplete ». But still guys. You are soul mates.#Also the « of course he comes with me. He’s my partner. » line 💕💍#even if at some point they meant to part ways ; really they can’t be separated.#kazurei#No homo daddies#Buddy daddies#kazuki x rei#Domestic gays
296 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey y'all! Do you have any patterns/resources/advice on sewing corsets/bodices/stays/stuff like that? I have once again reached the "wow I hate bras and bra shopping" point of the "having to replace clothes as they wear out" cycle
#the person behind the yarn#part of my problem is that I am an optical illusion of a human person#by which I mean all my measurement ratios are weird but none of it is visible#fun fact! my head circumference is the exact same as my cousin who is more than a foot taller than me#he is a wall of muscle! very large guy and our heads are the same size. They don't look it though!#the relevant weird measurements here are that I have a fairly small band size#but I can't actually wear my correct band size#because my torso is too narrow from side to side#I've got a barrel chest in miniature lol and the large cup size Does Not Help#so if I wear my correct band size the cups are too wide from side to side and dig into my armpits and/or ribs#which means I have to size down and use a back extender thing and have the straps always falling down#and at this point I just want something that won't mess up my back or my ribs#because once you dislocate a rib once you are more likely to dislocate it again. which is just lovely.
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this
#AUGHHGHH#I promise you dbh is still one of my favourite games I really do#But ohhhhhhhjghh my GODDDD it makes me mad#Like ESPECIALLY this year. With artists and writers being so fucked by ai#Like the game has less than no sympathy for people who were screwed over by cyberlife deciding their labour wasn't worth anything#Like everybody has to be a strawman. Everybody has to be the violent 'android bad because (some vague reason that draws on the#'immigrants are stealing our jobs' line despite the fact that these things aren't equivalent at all)#Like yes. Robots being placed in positions where a real human would be paid a real wage to do that job is bad. This is a bad thing#But the game. Does not CARE#It's so morally neutral for cyberlife to be allowed to mass produce androids in the middle of a poverty epidemic that they created#It's fine! Says Detroit Become Human because everyone rendered homeless or struggling by this company's actions is a violent drug addict#Or something#It's like HUH#H U H#This game was so enamoured with it's weird bad civil rights allegory that it forgot that people do actually need jobs to uh. Pay to live#Because things are hell#And I think it could've been SO much better if the game acknowledged this AS WELL as acknowledging that no android chose this#Like a fresh deviant didn't ask to cause a real person to not have a job. The company who made them did#But dbh doesn't care. Cyberlife is morally neutral in this. I swear#Loses my mind this game is such a mess#Uhhh if anyone's reading this please don't get mad at me I promise I do really love this game. Like this game is the reason I#Met the love of my life. I am physically incapable of hating this game#I just think it's so worth discussing the ways it fails in (what I think is) a constructive manner#detroit become human#game analysis#I guess#If anyone has any contributions or disagrees with me I would LOVE love to hear. Genuinely I love talking about things like this#Essay in tags
38 notes
·
View notes