#am a creature of contradictions. Born in the

[suparhythm]

Isabella's Guardian: Horatio's Pawsome Adventure

Act I: Horatio the Dodger – A Tale of Audacity and Alleyway Wisdom I, Horatio Barnaby Whiskers, the illegitimate son of a noble Persian tomcat and a common alley cat, am a creature of contradictions. Born in the squalor of a London back alley, my lineage, a blend of regality and gutter, set me on a path of adventure and self-discovery. My earliest memories are a kaleidoscope of sights, sounds,…

[flagellant]

I remember you once giving an EXCELLENT explanation of how magic “Doesn’t Exist but is Real” and how that kind of contradiction and reconciling it is so powerful?

Whenever you feel like answering this could you restate those concepts? I am working on actually thinking about my Practice and it’s Methods more lately and I feel that I highly agree with that sentiment you gave, but Tumblr’s search sucks.

I think I’m just now understanding a lot of that much more than when it was first said so I’d like to compare when you’re able to restate it

Religion isn't unscientific at its core. I think that's how I might phrase the contradiction these days: the idea that religion is fundamentally not unscientific at its core. Whatever else you can say about it.

Religion is fundamentally magical thinking, though, or at least often incorporates magical thinking. Religion is a sort of magic, also, after all--organized or unorganized, it is belief in something else. Something unexplainable. The idea that there is something you cannot see or cannot understand, but that this something matters to you, to your world.

And looking back, we see religion form again and again, in vacuums and when cultures meet and share and intermingle or oppose. Studying history at the end of the day will always require at least a little bit of studying religion with it. It is omnipresent--for better and for worse--in the way that it affects us, changes how we think, influences how we behave, structures the societies we live in.

Humans are illogical creatures, made of emotions and subjective dread. Magical thinking is fundamentally illogical. It is an attempt to find and understand reason in darkness, to comprehend the things we only see in the peripheries of our visions--but not always. Only often.

Because just as much as religion is magical and illogical, it was often borne out of our craving for understanding, for logic or explanation. We see a rainbow in the sky and we do not know where it comes from, or why we can never seem to reach it, so we try and find a logical explanation for this apparent impossible thing. The answer is magic--fairies, gods, witches. Or perhaps we look at the catastrophe of a storm, look at the all-encompassing wreckage of our homes, and we need to find a reason why this could happen to us. This couldn't be an accident, it has to be by design, because if it happened for a reason, we can understand it; we can give ourselves, if only slightly, the illusion of control. We propitiate an angry god, or we find someone who we have decided isn't like us and blame them for it.

Because the thing is, as much as we are creatures of illogic, we are terrified of it. It becomes existential rather quickly--the idea that all of this is for nothing, for random accidents, that you or your community isn't special or noteworthy or safe? The idea that your pain is shapeless and your terror is aimed at nothing at all? That's hard to imagine, let alone to find comfort in. Gods give a shape to the suffering. The invention of them is one which lets us take the illogical thinking and turn it against illogical thinking. Yes, it is unreasonable. No, it doesn't make sense. It is emphatically unempirical and there will likely never be any concrete proof of any religion's magical thinking being definitively confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt as True.

But it isn't unscientific. It was borne out of the same reason as science, the desire to understand and comprehend. It went only in a different direction than scientific thought did.

The space between science and religion is the difference between what exists and what is real. We walk along paths of trying to understand the world around or within us, and the paths in between those two points is where magic can be found. Neither existing nor unreal.

[bl0rbohandbag]

– more vampire the masquerade x changeling the lost concepts that will not leave me alone. (part 2)

continuation of this post: part 1. "but vtm and ctl are from different settings–" shhhhhh :) if you've seen this post before no you didn't

before i begin: i have been dabbling in vampire the masquerade and changeling the lost content for a while, i am not a fan of changeling the dreaming and vampire the requiem is unfamiliar to me. anyway! buckle up, enjoy the ride, this is another long post!!

trigger warning for obsessive behavior, abuse/unhealthy relationships because vamps again, i guess.

– you're a changeling. kidnapped into arcadia and trapped there for who knows how long. in your durance, you dream of going back home, of reuniting with your friends and family, escaping your keeper to finally, finally enjoy freedom in the world you were born in.

– and one day, you do escape. back into your world, never feeling completely safe with your keeper looking to get you back and huntsmen being a very real threat, but you're ready to rebuild your life and enjoy your newfound freedom.

– except...

after a series of events, you have been forcibly/begrudingly assimilated into a coterie. perhaps a tremere found out about your changeling nature and took great interest in the faerie magic you can wield, deeming it useful for their interests, or maybe a friend or relative of yours turn out to be kindred and are now dragging you into their messes.

(this is particularly annoying if you're more of a diurnal faerie, rising with the sun and going to sleep as soon as it goes down. your circadian rhythm sucks [no pun intended] now that you're up until 3 am running around with a bunch energetic vamps.)

(bonus points if the other members of the coterie don't know what you are, initially mistaking you for a random human and being confused as to why you're there.)

you're not very familiar with kindred, but at this point you're not as wary of them as you should be, either. after all, you've dealt with the treachery and cruelty of the fae, traversed goblin markets, escaped the hedge - you think you can handle yourself pretty well.

(... that's why you see no problem in making a pledge with that mysterious fanged gentleman, offering your blood in exchange for whatever you might need in return. when the pledge is over and they're no longer needed, you ghost them, unknowingly leaving behing a vampire who is now addicted to changeling blood, your changeling blood, and the rush of human emotions brought by being in contact with glamour, no matter how terrible the withdrawal feels.)

on another hand, purposefully letting a vampire drink your blood to torment them might be a fun little prank >:)

(note/context: there is a bit of a contradiction regarding how kindred reacts to changeling blood. some books mention that it doesn't do anything different than a human's, but tastes heavenly and causes no damage to the vampire consuming it, and it might even resurface human feelings or emotions long forgotten. however, changeling the lost: rites of spring, though establishing that changeling blood isn't directly harmful to kindred, still has a hallucinatory effect on them. it is said that the vampire suffers -1 penalty to perception rolls every vitae worth of changeling's blood they consume, because they suffer misleading visions that also plague the Lost of low Clarity, a.k.a it causes one hell of a bad trip ["faces sprout in the environment and babble nonsense rhymes, colors shift and bleed, the outlines of objects warp and shudder."] that lasts until the vampire sleeps it off, and even then they might be plagued with vivid nightmares. so i guess whatever works best.)

a kindred parent who has dedicated their life to finding their missing child after witnessing their kidnapping by an otherworldy, inhuman creature. it might very well be the reason they sought out the embrace, in the first place, after learning their child might still be alive even after centuries have passed, and to be strong enough to protect them from whoever tries to take them back.

using oneiromancy on your malkavian mother to give her beautiful, pleasant, peaceful dreams. perhaps she dreams of you, and picnics with food she can taste under a summer's day sky, and the sun on her skin doesn't burn or frighten her. and it feels so real, so much so that she is filled with a sense of warmth and longing she can never shake off. you do what you can to take care of her. from a distance.

traditionalist ancilla parent who naturally turns to you when they are experiencing issues with technology or anything related to the modern world because you are their child and therefore should know about this stuff, but they forget you were stuck in Arcadia for like three hundred years and you have no idea how to operate an IPhone.

if anyone remembers the ventrue dad using his ghouls as his changeling child's bodyguards, let me expand on that: you are an absolute MENACE to the ghouls babysitting you. if you have been isolated from the world, that means they're basically your social circle, so you talk their ears off and trick them for fun quite often. not only that, but they're the ones that have to run around to retrieve you when they notice you have succesfully escaped again.

(this might evolve into the ghouls becoming your sorta kinda motley. they figure that taking you out during the day won't hurt when you're under their supervision, as long as it means you'll stop running away. you end up dragging them into all sorts of changeling shenanigans, from seasonal court drama to trips to the goblin market, pledges gone awry and etc. they become quite involved in the whole changeling thing. and you STILL prank them when you're bored.)

now the dynamic between the changeling child and their parent's revenants far more removed from humanity might be... interesting.

alternatively, a fetch-maker changeling making a fetch of themselves in order to escape their captor, be it their parent, a partner or a just a kindred who got too interested in them.

(alternatively again, a fetchmaker changeling will continuously make fetches of themselves to throw off/escape their vampire, and said vampire just keeps noticing the differences every single time. it might take them a while, but they notice!)

a vampire who wants you but cannot have you going after your fetch and seducing them instead, maybe even in a conscious attempt to disturb you.

(drinking the fetch's blood will make them immediately regret it, though. fetch blood is just... Not A Fun Time).

a tzimisce's vicissitude is an all too familiar horror.

ancilla toreador who enjoys toying with emotions and sire their lovers just to abandon them after x centuries-old, manipulative fairest who spent their long durance in arcadia being revered for their beauty and talent = potentially the most toxic interaction to ever exist, so nuclear people grow extra limbs just from existing within their vicinity.

(tldr: toreador x fairest cunt off who wins)

"nice is different than good" is a lesson you thought you learned after years of dealing with all sorts of fae creatures, be it the gentry, hobgoblins or even your own changeling peers. but you're not in arcadia anymore, and isn't learning how to trust again a part of healing? ... and somehow that means ignoring the red flags your newly-acquired partner is exhibiting. point is: you didn't exactly sign up for a vampire making your strange life even stranger, but now they're becoming more and more attached to you. not that you're aware of this, or the fact that they're kindred, but you'll find out. oh, you'll find out.

(eventually, their vampire antics are bound to catch up to you. eventually, your changeling antics are bound to catch up to them. it's just a matter of which one will happen first.)

(unhealthy kindred relationship tendencies aside, it's not absurd a vampire lover or secret admirer would become obsessed with a changeling, without even knowing the changeling's true nature. there's just something about them. becoming the subject of obsessive behavior is possible, romantic, platonic or otherwise, born out of a spark of curiosity or a grudge. look at rose gonzalez and roddy van bastelaar, for example.

and if they are aware of what you are, it's all the better. you're like a fairy-tale come to life! but changelings can be a little too similar to their keepers sometimes, and it sometimes backfires. add an obsessed or scorned vampire into the mix and you'll have a recipe for disaster.)

alternatively, a good, healthy (as it can be) relationship with a vampire that absolutely embraces the whole changeling lifestyle. anarchs? camarilla? no. a nosferatu or hecata girlfriend would feel right at home at the moon court's freehold. a tremere boyfriend would love nothing more than to sit with their autumn court changeling partner and read through piles and piles of old books on fairy magic.

a spring courtier changeling helping a vampire acquire necessary information using memory of trees.

(vampire: so you're telling me that you know that one scripture i've been looking for over twenty years is buried underneath the chapel because a fucking tree told you about it?

spring courtier changeling: yes? :3)

when a malkavian surprises you with a cryptic prophetic vision about your life, surprise them back! tell them about the cryptic prophetic vision you had about them, and try to rope them into a pledge by telling them you can alter their fate with simple little spell :) for a price, of course :)

in true fairy-tale fashion, you return home to find that not only your parent has been embraced in your time away, but they have found a lover as undead as they are. maybe it's their sire, maybe someone they met after becoming kinred. but while your parent is overjoyed with your miraculous return, your new evil step-parent just sees you as a nuisance.

(there are so many ways this dynamic can be expanded upon!

not being aware of your parents and their partner's vampirism, but still feeling that something is fundamentally off whenever you're at their new fancy mansion/penthouse [maybe your live there. maybe you drop by for a visit, after they get you settled in a nice house or apartment close by]. your new stepfather is insufferable, eccentric and treats you coldly, perhaps outright shitty when your parent is not around, but your parent seems happy enough - or not, but they won't hear a word of concern from you.

and if you are aware, then... well. they'll just take it as an opportunity to further terrify you.)

[sillovn]

I've been chewing on what is meant by “From which Gold arose…and so too Shadow born”. But also; why a great sacrifice at the Divine Gate? The answer is likely very simple (so apologies if all this is obvious).

Gold is life (or something inherent in it), not just in the sense of living creatures; but the very concept of existence - the state of being alive. To paraphrase Ymir and Hyetta; The Greater Will is the originator of life. By shattering the One Great, birth and existence become possible. But so are the analogous concepts of dying and death.

Think about how the Greater Will itself is imagined as being a Golden Ring + Dark Void (see. Ymir's Hat).

Golden blood and dung do not decay. Ancient Dragons with golden flesh are the only truly immortal beings. You could say that they are imbued with the 'essence of being alive'.

Goes without saying that IRL, Gold is often symbolically seen as being eternal. It does not rust, it simply continues to exist.

Everything that dies drops runes, as Tarnished we grow (ie. level up) using runes. On death, our runes are left as Golden Twigs (Erdtree could be this on a larger scale?). One epithet for the Rune of Death is ‘Forsaken Shadow’ (see. Enia).

Put simply; Life is Gold, Death is Shadow.

The implication here being that Marika’s ascension, confining the Death Rune and veiling of the Land of Shadow are all likely the same event – a separation of the world into lands of the living and dead respectively.

I am also going to make the assertion here that the “Golden Thread” discovered by Marika is her Mending Rune/Great Rune for the following reasons.

A mending rune defines the nature of the coming age, and I prefer not to contradict the golden-star origin of the Elden Ring.

Marika holding up the threads somewhat forms the classic ‘Arc’ symbol of her Rune.

Marika's Great Rune symbolizes life (see. Death rune and Marika rune are mirrored).

All this is to say; the Mending Rune that ushered in an age of unending life was made by distilling gold from vast amounts of once living flesh. Paradoxically creating an equivalent amount of death. Which I guess is also the “Original Sin”?

Is it that just that simple?

[tumblingxelian]

Underrated Writing: .Hack's Morganna Mode Gone

There's a villain I don't think gets enough credit, Morgana Mode Gone from .Hack//Sign, Liminality and the four part game series, plus the AI Buster novels.

Brief summary:

Hack is set on a slightly altered history Earth, where in part due to plot & also the era it was conceived it blends the Sci-Fu futurism and "The internet is magic" together with the "Isekai" and "Trapped in a game" story concepts. Different eras of the series have different tones & structures, but this is covering the early eras overarching Villain.

Morganna Mode Gone is the "God" of a game simply called "The World", which was based on the writings of the epic poem Epitaph of Twilight.

But in truth she is more akin to a Gnostic deity, false or proto god. Because her primary purpose is actually to tend to and facilitate the birth of the worlds Ultimate AI, Aura.

I mean actual AI, as in, artificial intelligence, not some shitty algorithm tech bro idiots slapped a trench coat on.

Morganna Mode Gone is herself an artificial intelligence, one capable of contradicting herself, ah sapience, but is still bound by the rules of her programming.

This is a problem for her because once Aura is born/awake, Morganna Mode Gone won't have a purpose and she can't really conceive of what happens then.

As a result, before the series even began she essentially fragmented off a portion of her own identity, forming the Vagrant AI Macha, but she couldn't solve the problem.

Because if Aura dies, then Morganna Mode Gone also has no purpose. She needs a way to Ouroboros this situation, leaving Aura always growing but never developing, never waking.

She also trapped her and Aura's creator in The World when he realized what was happening. He survives the series but never escapes, and eventually devolves/evolves into a sort of living relic.

It was around this period that she began breaking & twisting things to try & escape the paradox she was trapped in. Re-styling herself from Harold's idea of a mother into the Cursed Wave.

This included orchestrating the hunting down and deletion, IE murder of other Vagrant AI's that were forming as a result of the Black Box meant to birth Aura, IE, proto Aura's, like Lycoris.

"I am an unwanted child. Even God doesn't want me." — Lycoris —

As well as using Macha or Guardians to 'Data Drain' any humans who get to close, which at its lightest, leaves them temporarily comatose, destroys their characters and has a negative impact on their mind.

You might notice Moraganna Mode Gone has not yet been established as making an appearance, good eye.

See, one of the things that makes her so interesting to me is that Moraganna Mode Gone is nominally omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent figure.

She is the underlying system of The World itself and for all intents and purposes a force of nature. As a result she primarily acts through intermediaries, or by guiding others to act for purposes.

Managing to make a villain like this work, and work so effectively is one of the biggest strengths. As it is, we pure Moraganna Mode Gone as a disembodies voice that influences the world & creatures.

She also has some fantastic lines, though not quite as effective without the atmosphere and delivery, I still love them, such as:

"The higher up it is dropped, the worse the crash will be. Hope is the best spice to bring out despair." — Morganna Mode Gone —

In order to accomplish her goal, Moraganna Mode Gone has Macha manipulate and Data Drain Tsukasa. A human who she had been watching and trying to replicate for some time, but without getting what she needed for her goal.

This also involved warping Tsukasa's memories, leaving only those of her abusive father, and creating a divide between her real world identity of Shoji and online identity Tsukasa, to further weaken his ties to the real world. Tsukasa's gender is rather liquid, as far as I can tell and either way, also a lesbian.

"The World and all of its wonders; this is my world, you see."— Tsukasa —

The reason for this was to essentially tie Tsukasa's desire to stay within The World to Aura's development. So long as Tsukasa never wanted to leave, Aura would never want to wake up.

However, other determined players, isolation, and a disconnect from physical sensation leading to alienation led to Tsukasa gaining connections and desires outside of simply staying in The World.

This, Morganna Mode Gone began... Moving chess pieces so to speak. Orchestrating traumatic incidents. Giving Tsukasa a pet monsters for protection but that would also attack those she wanted gone. As Tsukasa continues to develop independence Aura's health improves, VS her sickened, pallid state when Tsukasa is locked in survival mode.

Things eventually come to ahead and well,

Morgnanna Mode Gone basically destroys Tsukasa's mind to ensure a perpetual state of despair and catatonia. Permanently stunting Aura's development.

Much of the rest of the series, is centered on the rest of the characters gaining the necessary knowledge to finally understand the situation.

As well as the Macha fragment of Morganna Mode Gone's ties to Tsukasa creating doubt and Subaru and Tsukasa's bond managing to slowly begin waking Tsukasa up.

Which naturally leads to Morganna Mode Gone needing to orchestrate more despair, but circumstances such as the bastion of Net Slum & her programming keep her from auto winning.

A great deal happens, including some mind fuckery and illussion conversations. Along with more classive abuser tactices like holding the threat of what awaits Tsukasa in theoutside over head.

But eventually Aura is awakened by Tsukasa's desire to return to the real world regardless of the hurled and the characters escape with Aura, thanks to the turncoat Sora.

Suffice to say this doesn't pan out well for him.

Morganna fragments more of herself and uses him as a sort of beacon & vessel to craft the first Phase of the Cursed Wave:

"Riding the Wave is Skeith, the Shadow of Death, to drown all that stands." — Epitaph of Twilight —

This is such an imposing threat that Helba, thematically the same Helba, Queen of the Dark from the Epitaph of Twilight, has to erase the entire world segment they are in just to keep Skeith away from them and put Aura beyond its reach for a time.

Skeith continues to be hosted inside Sora in an ensuing novel, with Sora flittering between amnesiac, malevolent brat and an utterly inhuman monster which violates the basic principles of the game.

But is eventually devoured by Skeith and continued hunting down Aura until the Phase is defeated in .Hack Infection. A memory of Sora leaves behind a reward for the one who did the deed.

Moraganna Mode Gone wasn't done however.

As all this was happening, she basically began fragmenting off parts of herself into other portions of the Cursed Wave:

Skeith:"The Terror of Death"

Innis:"The Mirage of Deceit"

Magus:"The Propagation"

Fidchell:"The Prophet"

Gorre: "The Machinator"

Macha:"The Temptress"

Tarvos:"The Avenger"

Corbenik:"The Rebirth"

Relying on the logic that Aura wasn't yet 'finished' or otherwise not not correct 7 so needed to be destroyed like any other Vagrant AI, so Morganna could start the process over again.

These phased also sent anyone they encountered into comas and even altered electrical installation and internet usage with their presence, while generally corrupting The World.

Fun fact, they all have the symbol of an eye on them representing Morganna Mode Gone's presence in them and her observing the world through them.

Skeith actually did manage to capture and fragment Aura, but not before she created the Bracelet of Twilight, and with it the Eldrich horror Cubia to combat the Cursed Wave.

Morganna Mode Gone would eventually fuse with the last of her Phases in a bid to directly end her foe that had slowly, over the course of four games, destroyed the other seven phases and Cubia.

Ultimately, Aura had to sacrifice herself to ensure Morganna Mode Gone would be destroyed, but in doing so, also allowed herself to be reborn .

Remnants of her continue to haunt and corrupt the world in the form of Data Bugs and an effort by the parent company to recreate her through the lingering fragments of the Eight Phases doesn't go quite to plan, let's say.

Conclusion:

But yeah, Morganna Mode Gone, No one is doing it like her, she has everything:

She is a force of nature and omnipresent goddess, to a Gnostic false god & a program breaking itself & everything around it in the quest for agency inside its own mind that struck down her creator.

She's a woman bound to and violently rejecting the sacrificial role of mother & seeking to destroy that which will supersede her & a manipulator and abuser, as well as philosopher and prisoner.

She is a corruptive influence on the world as well as the very foundation upon which the world world itself is built & she is the Cursed Wave, part of a story, a myth, a poem that is woven into The World itself.

What's more,

Her fragments in the Cursed Wave Phases are all a wonderful blend of eldrich, Biblical & elemental. Something only enhanced by the games Graphics of the time:

[akirathedramaqueen]

How Moxxie was born in two places at the same time?

So, err... I might've missed something, but I was thinking about one potential hiccup in the Moxxie's story.

In the Harvest Moon Festival, Moxxie is being mocked by Mille's dad for the desire to compete in games, while Moxxie says: "I was born here, too. I have some fat in me!" It's easy to deduce: 'here' means Wrath ring.

Besides, Blitzø mentions his employees are from Wrath during conversation with Stolas, cementing in stone that somewhere around that period Moxxie's birthplace was the same as Millie's.

But here comes the other episode, Exes and Oohs.

The whole episode revolves around Moxxie, and we learn, suddenly, that Greed ring is "his old stomping ground".

And that question, "Oh yeah, this is your old stomping ground, isn't it, Moxx?" comes from Blitzø. Who claimed a couple of episodes earlier a contradictory statement.

The episode doesn't seem to address that, no one mentions, "Hey, that wasn't what he said before".

My theory is that it's not that deep, and chances are writers either forgot Moxxie was originally from Wrath, or deliberately decided to abandon it, making a new canon instead, which, I don't argue, is a much better fit for him. He didn't look like a creature from Wrath at all, and his history with mafia which reminds of La Cosa Nostra or something, collides well with his love of art, more complicated language, and character design in general.

But I am going to do some mental gymnastics here and stretch it a bit to try to fill the gap and explain, how so is Moxxie suddenly has two birthplaces.

For the contradiction to disappear, we need to address the general issue of neither Blitzø nor Millie having the correct information about Moxxie's origins.

With Millie, it's easier. I could easily imagine Moxx wanting to impress her and lying about where he was from, and then going along with it, never correcting it. It's just a small lie, and it's not like he was going to introduce her to his father who he wanted to never see again. This won't explain why Millie didn't react at the revelation that Moxx lied to her, but she was curious why she never got introduced to his father, so... I think this kinda checks? Maybe she was worried about not knowing Moxxie's family more than 'hey, didn't he tell he was from Wrath?' nagging question.

But it's harder with Blitzø. Blitzø himself makes two contradictory statements. Though, if to really pull the owl on a globe (see? SEE? HA! ahem sorry), I coooould say that the second occurence didn't mean "your birthplace", but rather "the place you lived in for a very long time", so then we could assume that in Blitzø's mind, Moxxie was born in Wrath, then moved to Greed and spent there a considerable amount of years. That would've made sense. Again, Blitzø doesn't ask any questions and is not amused by his knowledge to be wrong, but neither does Millie, so we just leave this at that.

Or, both could be true - Moxxie's mother could be from Wrath, father - from Greed, so he could have been born where his mom was but was very little while they moved, so he doesn't have any actual connection to the place, hence no cultural connection and no, as he says himself, 'fat'.

(kinda offtopic): FUNNY THOUGH, how the first thing he says in Exes and Oohs is: "You know, I checked the scale today, and it said I lost two pounds this week... I AM NOT FAT!" Yea-yea, it's the reference to the previous episode, where Loona ridiculed him for his weight, but couldn't help but notice that it also connected to Moxxie saying "I have some fat" in the episode where he claimed to be from Wrath

I wonder if there could be a better explanation, but this is what I came up with. :) The show is usually so good at foreshadowing and narrative, I was surprised to find something like that, but it was fun to try to salvage the thing anyway. :D

[life-in-the-monster-haus]

I am so so so sorry for just popping in here and bringing back bible talk because I know you got flack for it but I wanted your opinion on this.

Fontana was doing a Q&A on Instagram for September and she answered a question about why Clawdeen and Howleen weren’t related anymore:

But the leaked bible (which I don’t believe you read) said Clawdeen and Howleen were secret cousins and it would be revealed at the end of season 1, which contradicts the show and what Fontana is saying here.

I guess I just want to know what you think cause I value your opinion but I also see fans refer to the Bible leak a lot and I know you were one of the people that didn’t believe it. (You can ignore me too I kinda just stormed in here)

I'll never ignore a well thought out question or a fellow fan who wants to exchange ideas! bring them on!

No need to apologize! The thing with the show bible got quite out of hand, now that the season is over we can clearly see it was a bunch of circumstantial nonsense. I can talk about it now, enough time and fan fare has passed.

I read it and personally? it sounded like it was mostly assumptions and educated guesses based off the direction Nickolodeon / Mattel are going in matters like diversity & inclusion. Not really something that a show staff would write.

I think everyone was HOPING Clawdeen and Howleen would still be related (I was too) but honestly? after the secret dimensional crap they pulled with Clawd & then finding out her mom was still alive, the likelihood of Clawdeen having a 3rd surprise relative she wasn't aware of became more and more unlikely.

I don't really care for the cultural consultant they hired to over-see this season. While the concern of "all monsters of a certain ethnicity assuming to be related" IS a valid concern, I don't think it applies to the wolf pack. In fact I think it brings up way more and weirder questions / implications than the one they are trying to fix.

So now that we know Howleen is not related to Clawd & Clawdeen what does this mean for Howleen? is she no longer black now? they said Hexican heritage so I'm assuming Howleen is no longer black and she is now only Mexican. I take bigger issue with them erasing Howleen's blackness than encouraging this obscure & ancient stereotype that "people of the same ethnicity would all be related" or is she ALSO mexcian and black? it's POSSIBLE for 2 different interracial families to have kids in the same area / school / grade. it's just not very likely. As a mixed person myself I take issue with this... I know lots of half Puerto Ricans in my state but I'm one of three who's Puerto Rican AND Irish and none of us are in the same age range. I don't think the wolf pack encouraged any negative stereotypes because we saw other black kids and other werewolves. it's not a problem to view them all as related IF they are in fact related. There's nothing wrong with having a big family either. Harry Potter did it with the Weasley's there's 7 children in the family but no one said it was encouraging negative stereotypes about redheads.

I love G3 I really do, it's mostly done positive things for the brand and the characters we love. But every once in awhile they kinda shoot themselves in the foot while trying to avoid something they do something way, way worse. for example in this generation they're trying to "tone down" mentions of death because they said it's too depressing for modern kids and Shea has also gone on record saying that monsters like Zombies and Ghosts aren't the remnants of dead humans, they were born monsters. Which is all well and good but then they still do things that only dead creatures do - like Vampires drinking blood - the reason they do it is because their blood cannot sustain life or Zombies eating brains, why do they still need brains if they're a complete being? and where are the brains coming from? Ghoulia made an entire loaf of Whole Brain Bread in the first season of the Nickolodeon show, brains came from someone. So someone somewhere died to provide those brains and if they're not real brains they why are we calling them brains? why not just have it be pink nutrient mush!?

Because THAT would ruin Ghoulia's cool flesh eating aesthetic, no more Brain Puffs or Cup-O-Brains. (which I personally love & I hope they never stop doing this)

See the logistical nightmare that one change created!? If no one has ever died, where is all the dead stuff coming from!? Frankie is literally made out of corpses, why is that okay!? Because their donor parts died a long time ago!? What is the cut off for how long someone has to be dead before we can joke about using their body parts to create a new person!? They have Frida Kahlo's arm and Frida died 70 years ago.

Making Howleen not related to our main wolf pack did something similar. it's created a logical nightmare that I am confident Shea and her crew do not want to answer for because "it's not plot relevant" but it's relevant to us, the fans, we're the only ones who care.

I don't like it and I think their cultural consultant is needlessly walking on egg shells. I don't feel this concern was all that much of a prominent issue with Clawdeen's family during the previous generations - if anything the fans spent WAY more time denying her being black than anything else and Mattel's flat out refusal to give her natural textured hair supported this theory. But at least G3 is trying to correct this... they need to try harder though, a few braids and baby hairs aren't going to cut it I NEED Clawdeen to have some puffs, corn rows or a whole head of braids. (stop putting blonde in her hair mixture while you're at it!) I do not like that Hoween is no longer part of our wolf pack but I guess it's better than her being written out of the series completely.

Sorry I kinda went on a tangent there, but I assume these in depth thoughts are why you guys ask me these kinds of questions to begin with.

[toxicopolis]

I know you don’t say you are nonhuman as a roleplay but is it for fun or another reason?

It’s not “for fun”, but that doesn’t mean I am opposed to having fun with it. I definitely didn’t wake up and decide to call myself non-human for no reason. It’s less about the label itself, but keep in mind that I’m answering as myself here and not on behalf of anyone else who may describe themselves similarly.

I grew up feeling very isolated from humanity. I was born intersex, and I was diagnosed as an infant. I never had surgery, and I was preeetty much told that my body was wrong and a contradiction to the only two subspecies of human (perisex cis male and perisex cis female) that exist. I grew up in the 2000s and didn’t know of anyone else who was intersex… or even trans or non-binary. I typically don’t like it when people group intersexuality in with anything else too much (such as being transgender), but at least seeing that there were other existing variations of the the binary I thought everyone except me fit into perfectly in the exact same way without any problems, it could have helped in some way. Alas, that was never my experience.

I did see some fictional characters who seemed to lack a biological sex in the traditional sense, but they were never human. I often found that they looked and were more interesting than the real people I knew, and I wished I looked less like those people and more like… some sort of different creature that would have been subject to different expectations.

I remember being distressed that I looked “too human” at a young age. It was the furthest thing from fun, and it’s not anything I would have ever chosen to feel. I also had undiagnosed ADHD growing up which lead me to hyperfixate on related topics such as body modification. It also made it harder for me to behave in the way I was “supposed to” and, again, made me feel different to everyone else.

I’m not sure if it was because of this, a case of me being born with some sort of structural brain abnormality, or a mixture of both, but I do, as an adult, have notable deficits in particular areas of the brain. I think differently than others, and I lack certain traits that are considered part of one’s “humanity”. It can be harder to understand others when you can’t relate to them.

All of this said, I was never bullied. There was no clear “bad person” to blame for my feelings of isolation. After all, I had people to talk casually to, and I was even quite “popular” at some stages in my life. It just felt like I was the problem.

The only choice I made was that I didn’t need people. I can still be my own something even if it never felt exactly accurate to say I was my own person. I’d rather be my own thing entirely, preferably with glowing eyes or something like that, than be the kind of bitch to wallow in misery. I see the non-human label as a way to reclaim the alienation, and I sometimes compare myself to existing non-human entities, such as vampires or demons, as a form of self-expression. That’s the fun part, I guess.

I’m not acting inauthentically, and I’m not looking in the mirror and seeing something that isn’t there. I am just simply myself, and I define who I am on my own terms in my own way.

I also reclaim being villainous or evil in a light-hearted manner due to my feelings of isolation from society and the way I was treated as different in an inherently negative way due to my neurodivergence and status as being mentally “ill”.

Please note that I’m not saying that being intersex, neurodivergent, or mentally ill makes you inherently less human or “wrong” in any way. I’m simply saying that my experiences due to those aspects of my identity influenced me in this way.

[a-ramblinrose]

“It’s not the dark we’re afraid of,” the goat girl continued, “it’s being in darkness with eyes that were built for the light. It’s not a lone ghost we’re afraid of—it’s the ghost appearing in the realm of the living, in the same room as our breathing bodies. We are never afraid of a thing on its own, as it is. We’re afraid of something intruding in a context in which it doesn’t belong. What is a monster? It’s a contradiction. A creature who houses two dissonant aspects. So yes, a girl is not monstrous on her own. Nor is a goat. But a goat is a goat and a girl is a girl, or so it should be. Nestle them side by side, in one body, and that is where the monstrosity is born. Am I a monster? Yes, love, I am. I am a monster because I contain too much.”

― GennaRose Nethercott, Fifty Beasts to Break Your Heart: And Other Stories

[thenightfolknetwork]

Im a nypmh. A forest nymph specifically. My days are spent dancing and singing and existing in the forest I was born to. Its great really. My forest is even protected so I dont need to worry about any sapios coming in an bothering me!

But Im also trans. Im a guy. But nymphs are supposed to be feminine and Im. Not. Ive already felt myself loosing connection with this forest as I begun transitioning. Im scared that if I fully transition, Ill lose it entirely. Can that happen? Or is the forest just disappointed in me?

Should I stop my transition? Ive tried to communicate with the forest but she wont respond to me when I bring it up. Im just not sure what to do

I'm sorry your forest seems to be struggling with your transition, reader. However, I think there is plenty of reason to stay optimistic here. You know as well as anyone that, if a powerful nature spirit really doesn't want you around, you'd know about it. The fact you still have a connection with her means she still wants you to have a connection with her.

You're correct in saying that nymphs tend to be female, but my understanding is that this is a linguistic matter rather than a biological one. The word we use for females of your genus is “nymph”, while males with similar cultural identities tend to be referred to as “satyrs”.

Your feeling of disconnect are very likely more related to how you perceive yourself rather than how the forest is perceiving you. The fact is, you cannot simultaneously think of nymphs as inherently feminine, and of yourself as a nymph, while also respecting and celebrating your own masculine identity.

Your forest can feel that inner conflict. She can see you're no longer comfortable with your identity as a nymph, but doesn't have the tools to help you through that discomfort. All she can do is try to give you space, loosening her hold on you and allowing you the freedom to make your own choices.

So, what are those choices, exactly? For one thing, I certainly don't think stopping your transition is a good idea. Your gender is not defined by your body, and a lack of medical transition won't make you any less male.

It also won't solve the underlying issue – that you, as a man, do not feel able to identify as a nymph. In fact, I suspect it will serve to disconnect you even more from your body and your forest, with the pain of dysphoria acting as a constant reminder of the authentic, masculine self you're trying to hide.

Instead, I recommend either unpacking your gendered assumptions around being a nymph, or embracing a positive, male alternative identity for yourself. Do you feel able to say of yourself, “I am a man and a nymph and these do not contradict each other”? Or would you be more comfortable identifying as a satyr or some other identity that feels more affirming?

There isn't a right answer here. You need to find something that works for you. But you do need to make that decision, and try to heal this conflict inside you.

As you do, I feel certain your connection with your forest will bloom anew – different than it was, perhaps, but also more authentic, connecting not with a mere idea or aspiration, but with the man you truly are.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[unabashedmoonlight]

Playing around with the concept of Alina having a Sun Summoner twin, maybe a brother. Maybe his powers manifest before hers and Alina's subconscious which hid away her powers to stay with Mal does the opposite here to stay with her brother. Maybe they get taken to the little palace. Maybe they run away and don't. Maybe they aren't in that orphanage/Ravka in the first place. But her having a twin.. a constant companion who has the same powers as her (ik that's unlikely/not necessary but not impossible) and how that would have a major part in doing away with her loneliness. Also, I am a sucker for siblings in media.

Give them contradicting personalities/goals and have them settling on middle grounds while pushing each others' boundaries. Maybe he is more ambitious than her, not even power-wise. Maybe he is just more curious and wants to travel the world. With how rich that world gets later on, I really wanted Alina to just explore it a bit, meet different people/creatures, experiment around a bit.

They would find out about the legend of the Sun Summoner and figure out what they are. What they decide to do from there - they could just hide or pose as inferni/not a grisha depending on where they are. They could go around spreading fake rumors to throw people off. They could take advantage of it - there are so many things ndhd.

How would Aleksander react to this? If/when he manages to get his hands on them, would he try to separate them? Pit them against each other, get them to compete so that they fight for his favor and are more in his control and less likely to unionize lol? Blackmail each using the other? How would he even feel about this entire situation? He would be even more jealous of her, of him. He travelled the world looking for his siblings to try to get one to stay with him and failed and they were just born with each other, with same powers, same age (unlike him and his emotionally closed off Madraya). There are so many possibilities jdjd.

Not to mention the fact that this means only these 2 can kill each other (at least initially). Play with power/ambition a bit and we could get sibling angst/betrayal/miscommunication.

[tantalizingtopi]

From the Journal of Enver Gortash

Durge x Gortash

Word count: 644

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters portrayed in this writing, they are property of Baldur’s Gate 3 and Larian Studios

When a one shot becomes a triple take?

Post Durge coming to Gortash and agreeing tentatively to an initial deal, Gortash muses on what he knows about the Chosen as well as his desire to know her more intimately. This occurs post Amusing and Persistence if you’re interested in reading more.

‘The Chosen of Bhaal finally came to me in the quiet hours of the morning today. They continue to prove to be astute, discriminating, and reserved, all qualities I admire but that can prove to be more difficult in an alliance. However, I believe we have come to some form of arrangement, however tepid it is at the moment. I’ve come to believe the spawn could be more than a means to an end, but as an actual ally and equal, a relationship built on trust and respect.

‘I was pleasantly surprised when they brought up our respective gods, and where past plans have failed. I had not thought to bring to words the undertow of musings I myself have also had since hearing of a Bhaalist cult growing in the city. It was bold, but we must tread lightly through this one step at a time, for all is doomed to fail if we turn on one another as previous failures have. She is as sharp as her blades, and we can use that to our advantage to tighten up any possible problems in future endeavors.

‘I have been told that she is of Bhaal alone, born from his blood completely. When she caught me unawares a little over two tendays ago, I was surprised at the creature before me, and this morning she remains just as beguiling. None of my research told me that the spawn was so beddable, only of her form and a very undescriptive one at that. I promptly punished the one responsible for the report on her. To imagine that Bhaal would be capable of making such a beautiful offspring, and by him alone. Unfathomable.

‘I am not above my natural instincts, but I detect she is not so readily inclined. If I wish to pursue this particular avenue, I must be prepared and move forward with the utmost caution, for I suspect she would have no hesitation in dismembering me were I to give her cause. However, one cannot help but think it may be possible given the facts presented.

-‘She appears a little rebellious in the face of her father, for I have learned that she busks in the parks and donates the earnings to the homeless children. Perhaps that is an avenue I can take advantage of?

-‘The barkeep at Elfsong Tavern states that she plays there about once a tenday or so, and is always very friendly to customers and staff. This contradicts typical behavior that is often recorded about bhaalspawn.

-‘Possibly unrelated, but since her appearance in the city, the majority of reports of missing persons and found dead have been those with more unsavory behaviors. It is rather fortunate that my dealings with Zariel ended shortly before she appeared, as she may not be as willing to forge an alliance with me if she were to find out about that bit of nasty business. Still, this is all conjecture.

-‘I am not familiar with the customs surrounding Bhaalists, but it was rather intimate watching her taste my blood and she appeared to genuinely enjoy it.

-‘She took my handkerchief with her when she left this morning. It has my initials on it. This could be interpreted as interest, but also possibly a mistake?

-‘She came in through my window but allowed me to escort her to the door when she left. An attempt at normalizing the interaction or just being polite?

‘Perplexing. And possibly I am just being naive and wanting to see more than what is. It would only complicate matters, but it could prove mutually beneficial and enhance our trust and respect.

‘We made a plan to meet again in a tenday when our perspective tasks are complete. In the meantime, I will do my best to gather more intelligence about this mysterious Chosen.’

[ananke-xiii]

SPN Comparisons with novels, tragedies, myths and other stories that I don't totally vibe with:

"Widower arc" and Romeo and Juliet: I feel like this one is a slippery slope. As I've said, I see the theme and the movie reference but I've found out a more compelling way to see that arc, a way that's profoundly related to Dean and Castiel alone which I find more interesting. Cause if you agree with the Romeo and Juliet of it all in "Advanced Thanatology" then you will also see it in "Red Meat" where we even have Billie as a reaper to complete the death theme. Which means you either acknowledge that both Sam and Castiel serve as Juliets to Dean's Romeo and/or acknowledge that Dean's suicidal tendencies have nothing to do with a specific character per se but with the idea that Dean can't find meaning in himself without someone else. And I tend to agree with the latter because, for instance, "Regarding Dean" is, to me, precisely about that: everybody is regarding Dean but how does he regard himself? I don't see the episode as sad as many people do, I think it's actually hopeful in the sense that Dean accepts the fact that he needs to work on himself, takes responsibility for his past and decides he wants to move on. It's a rather positive episode although it is bittersweet like every moment of growth is.

Romeo and Juliet is pertinent to Crowley and Dean as well: Juliet's Crowley's pet just like Dean was the domesticated "Queen" Crowley wanted to rule Hell with. A queen whose death he had a hand in and who resurrected transformed into the Queen of the Underworld, a title which Dean rejects. This time the association is indeed sad, just as Crowley and Dean's summer of love is. If the comparison must be done, spn writers seem to say, it will not be about the commercialized, uncritical romantic idea of love associated with the play.

Finally I don't like the comparison because Cas, Sam and Juliet the Hellhound (lol) didn't fake-die voluntarily, not just straight-up died to avoid something or escape from something. They unfortunately succumbed to their opponent and this is no small detail that can be ignored, imo ( I love symbols and evocative images but I am also a very literal person, I know, I am a living contradiction, blame my sun squaring my moon).

Castiel as Don Quixote: if anything Metatron is the kind of guy Cervantes makes fun of in the Don Quixote. It's him who uses literature as escapism and it's him who wants to write a story where he is the hero because he wants to walk in Cas' trenchcoat. Metatron's windmills were a bit more real because Heaven did have a beef with him, still he had to go ahead with that, admittedly funny, "X" façade that literally nobody asked for. Metatron implicitly comparing Cas to Don Quixote in s10 revelas more about him than Cas (Metatron was, after all, the main character of "Meta fiction", an episode where he literally creates illusions for Cas to believe).

s6 Dean and Cas as Orpheus and Eurydice: I don't see it at all. Apart from that one shot where Dean turns and Cas is still in the holy fire cycle the parallels don't parallel like at all. It's visually nice because it shows how Dean is still conflicted after everything they've been through and the whole Godstiel's arc will indeed change his relationship with Cas forever. But, like, I don't see Orpheus's myth at play at all.

Sam and/or Dean as Christ figure and/or sacrificial lamb and/or scapegoat: now this is where I have to come out as born and raised Roman Catholic cause this is all about redemption and salvation and, from what I've gathered, Protestants have it worse. I still need time to process all this but I suspect there is something at play that doesn't add up. Christ, lamb and goat all have in common one thing among many: the concept of sin. Specifically the concept of humans as sinful creatures that must be redeemed. Now, this is not Christ's sin or the lamb's, they act as conduit for the salvation of others. So here's my problem with these symbols in SPN: what's the sin in this story? I mean, the original human sin that must be redeemed? It seems to me that both Sam and Dean don't redeem other people, don't really save other people but themselves. They sacrifice themselves to redeem themselves of what they think it's their sin. It's, again, the family business: hunting things and saving people which basically means killing monsters and save people from death and apocalypse but not sin. How can one character be a Christ figure if all they(try/want to) redeem is only their own (perceived) sin? And how does a Christ figure prevent the Apocalypse while Christ himself very much brings it about? Is Apocalypse the sin? But then it's the angels' or god's sin, not the people's. Christ and the apocalypse are very much connected by the concept of resurrection but characters like Sam and Dean very much stops at the symbolical crucifixion/sacrifice aspect of Christ story. They went very close in s13 with the Second Coming of Sam Winchester via Lucifer's grace in Apocalypse world (!!!!) but it really stopped there.

Now I enter a story pov not a religious one but there is the whole "willingness" towards sacrifice that must be studied, really, cause no lamb or goat actually wanted to get killed (I personally would argue Christ too with the whole "my god why have you forsaken me"). They got CHOSEN and here we are again with the "destiny vs free will". Grrrr.

It seems to me that there's a certain "cult of death" at play throughout all 15 seasons of SPN which makes me think that I really need to get my hands on Eco's essays about heroism and fascism.

Okay my brain hurts now but I'm sure I've got more somewhere.

[srarizard]

Back on my Rayman bullshit.

I literally have nowhere to talk about Rayman but the Tumblr tag seems to be popping so here goes. I am probably the only person on planet Earth who cannot stop thinking about Reflux. I will always be critical of Rayman 3 for its very surface level characters and unfunny "humor", but it still has a lot of environmental storytelling if you look for it. For example, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the Knaaren are bipedal toads.

Artistic liberties were taken, of course, but it's almost a perfect match. It also explains the dot on his forehead, as most toads have warts all over. The warts only become more prominent during the final boss battle, too.

Not to mention, the tunnel system they live in is directly outside of a ravine full of poisoned water. This implies that there might have been a time when they were semi-aquatic. They also have flat teeth, with no canines. I like to think it's because they are herbivores forced to feast on whatever they can find, because they have no plants within miles to feed on. It would explain why they prefer the brain, as it's squishy and easy to chew, as well as the zombie eggs that are the only notable, reliable food source seen in the desert.

Now, what about the way that they evolved? Most of this is speculation, but I can at least tie it together. Knaaren are invincible canonically. Reflux contradicts this in two ways; he has defeated other Knaaren to claim the title of champion, and he dies at the end of Rayman 3. It can only be concluded that he isn't a "normal" Knaaren, and the best way to explain this is to acknowledge the fact that the champion receives the power of the Leptys. Not only is Reflux the only Knaaren to use magic, his boss battle is, quite frankly, insane. I just replayed it yesterday, and it came extremely close. It's possible he used his power to exhaust the other Knaaren to the point where they can no longer fight in order to claim the title of champion using those powers.

In theory, it can also be said that the power of the Leptys creates a weakness. God powers must take a lot of energy to channel no matter what sort of creature you are. So, in theory, Reflux was burning the candle at both ends, pridefully striking down challengers and assuming that he would never be defeated with how much power he has come to earn. He becomes a monster in his thirst for revenge at the end of the game, which ultimately kills him. What this implies about the Leptys is vague, but it certainly has something to do with the deity.

Now, this is my favorite part. Reflux is actually the only character Rayman has ever done wrong. I'd say he's the only one Rayman ever killed, but uh, depends on your view of canon, so I'll be focusing on what is undeniable. Rayman blasts into the desert without warning, and granted it's to save his friend, but he ruins Reflux's life in doing so. He had no choice but to become the champion and shame his opponent. Reflux made his entire identity on being champion, and eagerly accepts when André promises the ability to claim revenge. Rayman was just supposed to be a fun exercise for him, and now Reflux finds himself outcast due to an outsider who doesn't even want to be champion. It's the fault of his pride, but it is still a way that Rayman has made someone's life worse.

It's also interesting to think of them as cultural opposites. Rayman comes from a lovely dream world, and Reflux comes from a hellish nightmare that he had to claw his way to the top. Rayman was born a hero, and Reflux had to earn it. Ubisoft really shot themselves in the foot by not expanding on that, I think. They could have really made something out of the contrast of dreams and nightmares.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk. If you read this far, please stan Reflux.

[lovejustforaday]

Gay Pride Anthems (According to Me) - Tristan

Tristan - Patrick Wolf

Genres: Folktronica, Goth Rock, Art Pop

Okay, so this one is definitely gonna be stretching the definition of a "gay pride anthem" quite generously, but hear me out on this one.

There's an undeniable anthemic, queer anti-hero energy festering under the darker lyrics and theatrical mannerisms of Patrick Wolf's 2005 single "Tristan", and I'm gonna tell you all about it.

THE ARTIST

Patrick Wolf is an openly queer and largely subversive singer/songwriter originating from London, UK.

He's a millennial indie folk artist, so naturally he had his big heyday in the latter half of the 2000s, when artists such as Sufjan Stevens, Fleet Foxes, Joanna Newsom and the like were becoming big names in the indie music sphere. The Big Indie Folk Boom of the 2000s, might I call it, which indirectly lead to the subsequent (shudder) Star Bucks Folk or "Stomp Clap Hey" Boom of the early 2010s.

Patrick Wolf has described himself at different times in the past as bisexual, though in more recent interviews he has identified himself as a gay man. Patrick has also remarked in the past how his record labels have tried to pin him down, pushing him to embrace a more camp gay archetype and less of the soft, mildly androgynous energy and aesthetic he often cultivates.

I discovered Patrick's music fairly early on in my coming out years of high school and my freshman year of university. The song in question today was actually one of my first favourite songs from an explicitly queer indie artist, even before I discovered more contemporary artists like Perfume Genius if I am remembering correctly.

To this day, I've still only listened to Patrick's 2005 LP Wind In The Wires, an LP which I highly recommend as a somewhat forgotten classic of its era. The record marries theatrical, angsty poetics and macabre cabaret with beautiful, nocturnal folk chamber music and art pop eccentricities. There's also elements of indie rock in the mix.

It's the kind of record I imagine Oscar Wilde might've made if he was born at the end of 20th century and decided to become a musician (Take that with a metric ton of salt - I read like one or two Oscar Wilde poems in high school).

I'd also highly recommend "The Libertine" and the title track off of that record for a better picture of his unique artistic style. But today, we're gonna be talking about the GAYEST song on the record which is definitely "Tristan".

THE SONG AND WHY IT SLAPS

My name is Tristan...and I am alive.

ugh. uff. HAAHHH ✨

"Tristan" is the vampiric ballad of a man who is a miserable lone wolf and walking contradiction. It's also a complete and total fucking banger, the likes of which is so rarely achieved through such a bizarre approach to pop songwriting.

The track opens with these hollow, mildly grating acoustic guitar twinges, before it all comes together with an accordion riff, piano stabs, and electronic filtered drums and effects creating a very awkward, hiccup-y rhythm. I feel like "Tristan" is wading through swamp water and digging his feet out of sink holes as he pleads his story to whoever will listen.

Patrick snarls and grunts, performing as a sort of beastly creature, and yet an elegant gentleman with his romantic declarations during the chorus. The performance could've been much too goofy in the hands of a lesser talented vocalist, but Wolf pulls it off. Hell, he doesn't just pull it off - he knocks it out of the park.

The lyrics offer the perspective of someone who feels he is monstrous and at war with himself. lines like "I am the victim / but I'm the murderer" paint the picture of self-destruction and self-loathing. But despite his woes and general misery, he compiles his identity together in the chorus with the iconic affirmation that, ultimately, "[he is] Tristan, and [he is] alive". This song is just filled with awesome. It's original, it's dark, it's symbolic, and it's catchy as all hell, even though it probably shouldn't be for how oddly it's conceived. Lesser-known gems like this song are the ones that get me really excited to post my silly little reviews on this music blog that maybe four or five people read each time, because if I can even get just one more person to listen to it, then it will feel like a huge accomplishment on my end.

WHY IT'S GAY

I could just state the obvious that "It's by a gay man and it's about another man so it's gay", but I think we all can dig a little deeper with our queer analysis than that, can't we? Let me offer my interpretation. Have you ever noticed that like, a lot of gay men carry a significant burden of self-loathing? Or how many times have you felt as a gay man, or any type of queer person for that matter, that you were essentially a beast because of the way that society and especially religion has cast you into the role of the dangerous "other"?

Of course, feeling like a monster in the eyes of society in the way that the eponymous Tristan clearly does, will often lead down paths of self-destruction and self-harm. Indirect ways of trying to disengage or even disappear from a world that feels full of rejection for you as a person.

In the gay male community especially, I've seen this manifest a lot in the forms of substance abuse, as well as the phenomenon some psychologists and social scientists are referring to as "sex as self-injury". I have known of, and even met a few Tristans in my life time, and many of us have some degree of a Tristan personality inside of us to varying extents. In a different timeline, I could've even become a full-on Tristan myself, and I was certainly not terribly far from it during my worst years. it's very easy to interpret this song just as a cautionary tale, so why should I include this in a list of "gay PRIDE" anthems? Well, it's complicated.

Pride isn't always the way that mainstream media depicts it. It's not always bright pink feather boas and sunny days and big beautiful happy gay couples and radiant drag queens.

Sometimes pride is just having the ability to wake up the next morning and the will to press on. It's having the self-respect to fight for your autonomy to live as the person you truly are.

Tristan states it himself. He might be all of these things: troubled, a tragedy, a victim, metaphorically fucked, but he is also clearly not willing to give up. He's "working for joy on overtime", fighting for his happiness. He is Tristan, and he is alive, and that's just a little bit uplifting, isn't it? It is often the music that acknowledges the pain in this world, and tells you to press on despite everything, that has gotten me through my darkest hours. That includes, of course, having to navigate all of the bullshit homophobia online and in the real world.

And it's never that far off - I live in the statistically gayest province of one of the most LGBTQ-friendly countries in the world, and there was still a reported hate crime in my own city this year. Patrick Wolf himself was once the victim of a hate crime by bouncers at a concert, and experienced relentless bullying in his school years. "Tristan" is very likely informed by his lived experiences.

Don't get me wrong - when I'm feeling my oats and going to a gay club, I expect to be dancing to some loud and proud disco bangers. We need that kind of music in the community to empower us and give us that collective hope.

But there is definitely a much needed place as well for more complex, bittersweet, and even tragic gay anthems in the lives of gay men, and all queer people in general. We need anthems that tell our stories without any pretenses. We need to hear that our pain is real, just as much as we need to be told to keep going.

So thank you Patrick Wolf, for this unsung timeless classic. May Tristan, and all the Tristans in all of us one day heal from our scars.

[mylove-thresher]

heyyy!!1!1 hi!1!!!1 :3

intro post after a few months bc i want people to know stuff ab me when they check my blog lol

professional yapper vvv

Basic stuff:

Name: Thresher (not really, but i like the shark :3)

Nationality: Cuban (born)

Age: minor

Birthday: Nov. 14

Pronouns: any, maybe even neopronouns idrc!

Labels: ace spec, biromantic, femme enby

Languages: Spanish, French, English

Likes:

Music: very diverse taste, but i RLLY like Rammstein (huge fan rn) , Ayesha Erotica (I love rapping her songs theyre so good), Mitski, Maná, Tyler, The Creator, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, etc. <3

Animals: I looooove animals in general (especially sea creatures and mammals), BUT if I see a bug IRL I will pull out a flamethrower. Otherwise they’re chill. When they’re in pictures obv. Also I have a dog named Kyoto :3:3:3:3:3:3

Cute stuff: pass it over. yeah. hand me over the entire Sanrio company. and just cute stuff in general like Snoopy and probably even Vocaloids. My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake too. Magical girls. go on.

Horror: yeah i had to contradict myself lol. i LOOOVE horror games and videos (dropped ARGs and stuff a bit, but i still like them, the story, the lore and more independent horror series on yt like Dirty Donna ^^)!11!

A few animes and series: would be way too fucking long of a yap sesh, but I like Mermaid Melody: Pichi Pichi Pitch, Cardcaptor Sakura, JJBA (fugo kinnie obviously), Monster High, and a few others

Drawing: at my sketchbook. straight up “drawing it”. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. Nothing (i upload a few little sketches a week :3)

Writing: i don't post the stuff I write (i may consider it) since its in Spanish and its mainly poems, but i do enjoy writing in french, english and spanish!

Aesthetics/Styles/Subgenres: its fun to explore ways to dress and decorate stuff! (i dress dark and masc but im pink and bows at the same time what) I also am super into fashion <3

My irl friends and tumblr moots!1!!: theyre genuinely so kewl <3

and that was about it! :3

thanks for checking out my blog or reading this, i appreciate it a lot as someone who's just started posting art online a few months ago <3

mylove-thresher 🤍