#am a creature of contradictions. Born in the

[suparhythm]

Isabella's Guardian: Horatio's Pawsome Adventure

Act I: Horatio the Dodger – A Tale of Audacity and Alleyway Wisdom I, Horatio Barnaby Whiskers, the illegitimate son of a noble Persian tomcat and a common alley cat, am a creature of contradictions. Born in the squalor of a London back alley, my lineage, a blend of regality and gutter, set me on a path of adventure and self-discovery. My earliest memories are a kaleidoscope of sights, sounds,…

[mandalhoerian]

I want to pick your brain more about Caleb being the livestock guardian and the wolf at the same time. That part haunts me. Canine imagery for him >>>

That contradiction — the livestock guardian and the wolf — is at the very heart of Caleb. Emphasizing his duality aside, it’s a paradox that exists within him, one that he’s aware of, one that he chooses to live with rather than resolve. Because at his core, he is both the devoted protector and the ravenous beast, and both of them love you. Both of them serve you, in their own way.

The livestock guardian dog is bred to protect the flock, to dedicate its life to something weaker, something soft. It stands between the sheep and the wolves, fangs bared, willing to die for the creatures that will never understand what it’s doing for them. It is gentle with them, careful, soft-mouthed, lowering itself to their level so they will trust it. Do not fear me. I am here for you.

He was raised to be good, to be devoted, to be steadfast. A creature made to guard, to serve, to dedicate himself to something more important than his own desires. A dog trained to protect the flock, to live among the sheep, to love them with a quiet, patient devotion. His purpose has always been clear: keep you safe. Keep you fed. Keep you warm. The world is full of danger, full of wolves with their snapping jaws and greedy eyes, and it is his duty to keep them at bay.

He is yours. He always has been. If you told him to sit, he would. If you told him to stay, he wouldn’t move from that spot until his body gave out. If you told him to die for you, he would do it without hesitation. And he doesn’t think of this as a burden — it’s his purpose. He finds fulfillment in it, in watching over you, in being something you trust. You call his name, and he comes to you. You rest your head on his shoulder, and he stays still so you won’t move away. You let him linger close, let him take care of you, and it is enough. It has to be enough.

But a guardian dog is still a dog. Still a thing with instincts, still a thing that can be pushed. If the sheep do not trust it, if the shepherd does not guide it, if it is alone too long — if it's left hungry for too long, if it's is abandoned, if it loses the reason — then something inside it shifts. It begins to realize that it does not need a flock. That it has teeth for a reason. And then, with time, with neglect, with just the right set of circumstances—

The guardian turns feral. The thing that once protected the sheep remembers that it is, at its core, an animal with hunger, with wants, and it turns on the very things it swore to protect.

Caleb is the dog that never turned. He is the one that still guards you, still waits at your side, still lives with his body between you and the world, because that is what he chooses. But—

There is a wolf inside him. He wasn't born tame. This is the reason why you think he's changed.

It is not a corruption, not a failing, not a sickness. It is simply there, as much a part of him as the loyalty, as the tenderness, as the quiet way he looks at you like you are something holy. The wolf is not cruel. It is not mindless. It does not wish to harm. But it wants.

You have never had to see it because he never let you — but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. You think his hands were made to shield, to soothe, but that is only because he has never let you see the way they were also made to hold, to grip, to take.

He is the thing in the woods. The thing that lingers just beyond the firelight, just past the safe glow of home. He is the thing that wants to rip and tear, but not to destroy — not to kill. No, that would be too easy. He does not want to ruin you. He wants you to remain by his side forever.

And he knows that if he ever so much as breathes wrong, if he ever lets you see the way he looks at you when your back is turned, you would run.

So he stays where you left him. He plays the part he always has. The good boy. The guardian. The one you trust.

But when you press your cheek against his shoulder and sigh, when you curl your fingers around his wrist without thinking, when you whisper his name in the dark, he knows. He knows.

You do not understand what it means to press yourself into the waiting jaws of something that would never bite you but still wants to.

You do not understand that when you lean into him, when you trust him, you are feeding the very thing he is trying to starve.

And the thing is — both the dog and the wolf want the same thing.

To have you.

The dog wants to guard you, to protect you, to keep you safe in the way that all guardians do — by being a silent, unseen force, by waiting in the shadows, by letting you feel free while ensuring you never truly are. It does not control you. It does not take. It is patient, gentle, enduring. But it belongs to you so entirely, so thoroughly, that if you asked it to die for you, it wouldn’t hesitate.

The wolf? The wolf does not beg. The wolf does not ask permission. The wolf sees what it wants and takes it. The wolf does not serve, it claims. It sees you as something that belongs to it — not because it is entitled, not because it is cruel, but because it loves you the way hunger loves flesh. Because the wolf understands something the dog does not:

The only way to truly keep something is to consume it. To take it into yourself so fully that it can never be separate from you again.

But Caleb — Caleb — is the bridge between them. He has the wolf’s instincts and the dog’s discipline. The dog will heel when you tell it to, the wolf will wait because it chooses to, and Caleb is both. It would be easier if these two things were separate, if they hated each other, if they battled for control inside of him. But they don’t. They exist in harmony. They want the same thing.

The livestock guardian watches over you, protects you, ensures that no one lays a hand on you. The wolf ensures that no one takes you away, not even yourself.

The livestock guardian follows you, obeys you, kneels at your feet. The wolf is the reason he wants to.

The livestock guardian loves you. The wolf does, too. But love — real love — is not just something that gives. It is something that takes.

And you know what?

You never had a choice in the matter.

Not because he took that choice from you. Not because he forced you into anything.

But because, from the very beginning, from the moment you met him, before you even understood what he was—

You made him yours.

[some-small-mercy]

Abhari Atlas - An Introduction to the Outer Seas

When the Celestial Host cast down and butchered the Arch-Demons of the lower depths and from them made Creation, they did not do so with a single mind, or in a single effort. The Inner World upon which you and I walk is perfectly formed, and aligned with every principle of True and Beauty - it is for this reason that the Great Gods of Heaven believed it a suitable home for the sublime Order of man and spirit we know as civilization. Make no mistake, I am no Godsemeren pollyanna - the Inner World is replete with heresy and witchcraft, with demons and apostates and every other horror. But it is full, too, of honor and beauty, of loyalty and piety, and of all the countless Glories which obedience to the Chain of Being and true Religion allow. 

But the Inner - or, as I have elsewhere argued it should be more rightly called, the Higher - World was the Celestial Divines’ masterwork, not their first attempt. In ages past, the learned and pious believed that it was built upon the ruins of these previous efforts, and it was from this imperfection that the taint of demology and witchcraft first seeped into the world. I am loathe to contradict such august and ancient sources, but in our modern age this has been proven false - the prototypes and failed attempts at the creation of the World were not destroyed or built over, they were instead cast down and hidden away, or put by the Heavens to some lesser purpose suitable to their failings and what virtues they had. 

There is a great diversity among the nations and the peoples of the Higher World and so the first service provided by a study of the Outer Seas is a contrast by which their similarities might be seen. They are all, for example, human, born imbued with a mortal soul and an honoured place in the Chain of Being. Thus, it is only through sin or tragedy that their form becomes misshapen or corrupted - this is not the case for the greater part of the creatures whose crude facsimiles of government and culture populate most Outer Seas. Not all, of course - some come close to the perfection of the Higher World, their peoples only barely distinguishable from our own. Others are earlier and less finished prototypes, or else abandoned due to some fundamental corruption or flaw, and their natives the same. Yet others were the prisons of great Titans or other fallen Angels, and even if they were once filled with true humanity, ages of capricious interference and corruption have left their descendents weakened or deformed in some manner, either in body or soul. They are not demons, or even goblins, but obvious signs of this inhumanity in visage or bearing, and hereditary tendencies to some particular corruption, abound. It is for these reasons and more that no Outer Sea has produced true Civilization or true Religion on its own, and none have proved capable of equalling the achievements or resisting the arms of the Higher World without the open support of another fully human power (however corrupt it might be). 

It was through just that corruption that the Outer Seas were first discovered - for who but warlocks and apostates would ever cut their way through the skein of the world into the abyss beyond, without any surety that there was a solitary thing to be found? Yet the piety and virtue of the Hierarch then ruling in Imir was soon rewarded with a method of invoking the grace and power of Heaven and its Sublime Will which opened the way for the World-Empire’s own ships. The methods and engines are closely guarded trade secrets of the relevant guilds and orders, but in any case require great ocean-going vessels and occulted prayers and rites that are in every case beyond the means of any lacking the genius of true humanity. 

The methods by which Outer Seas are charted are occulted, but their organization is obvious and clear, arranged in harmonious alignment such that their cosmic distance to the Higher World and the ease with which they can be reached mirrors the severity of their flaws and corruption. Thus the Pearl Sea, one of the nearest and first-charted, is almost indistinguishable from the heartlands of the Empire, and its populace - once winnowed in the Crusade that won it - so close to full humanity to be as worthy of the name as a great many peasants along the Empire’s other marches and borderlands. Thus also, though less happily, the Onyx Sea where the Celmean League’s colonies and daughter-cities have recruited from and interbred with the existing populace so eagerly with no loss of skill or vigor - and where under the Lord Regent’s Tyranny the Empire’s own holdings were lost entirely in one disastrous war after another.

Most Seas are not so blessed of course. Arrayed in an astral orrery, they spiral out, descending from the Higher World and growing more unfinished and flawed in perfect sequence. The remainder that are so close to true reality that a layman would not notice the difference are so small and marginal as to not be worth contesting the claims other principalities have made on them. The next great prizes are middling seas, obviously unfinished and dangerous to both body and soul to sail, yet full of riches and opportunity for glory that explain why the Gods Above allowed mortal eyes to chart the course to them. Here are the great prisons and blasphemous ateliers of Titan and Fae, the kingdoms of oxen walking on two hooves and birds conversing wholly through the fractured words of their long-dead trainers. This, then, is the land where legends and fortunes are made, and where treasure fleets and privateer squadrons sail for under every flag. They are also, as a whole, the theaters within which civilized powers now compete to outdo each other in colonial glory, and where each struggles to put the native creatures encountered to their most beneficial purpose. The rare examples where the creatures have not yet been brought to heel by one power or another - the cavern-dwelling clans of the Iron Sea, mostly famously - remain so by the combination of unusually belligerent and untrusting natives and a lack of treasures to justify the cost. 

At an even further remove are the Seas so primitive and distant from the Divine Plan that the dangers yet outweigh the riches and revelations they offer. Thus, the Starlit Sea, where there is neither dawn nor moon nor horizon, and the stars above are reflected by the glittering heralds of ruin beneath the waves. Thus the Whispering Depths, where any wind can be bought only with the sacrifice of a mortal soul whose breath might move it - and whose voice and secrets then taunt any who hear them for a year and a day. Thus, most of all, the Abyss itself, as dark and depthless as any entrance to Perdition, whose waters swallow ship and swimmer alike.

In the remainder of this treatise, then, I shall focus my efforts on those middling seas, and most specifically on the demi- and in-humans creatures which call them home and which must be truly brought to heel for the Empire’s banner to settle itself in their lands…

-A Discourse on the Higher and Lower Seas, by Brother Adrien of the Poor Fellows of the Sacred Pyre. Despite his later censure for Hierocratic sympathies the work remains a standard reference throughout the Holy Illyrin Empire

[flagellant]

I remember you once giving an EXCELLENT explanation of how magic “Doesn’t Exist but is Real” and how that kind of contradiction and reconciling it is so powerful?

Whenever you feel like answering this could you restate those concepts? I am working on actually thinking about my Practice and it’s Methods more lately and I feel that I highly agree with that sentiment you gave, but Tumblr’s search sucks.

I think I’m just now understanding a lot of that much more than when it was first said so I’d like to compare when you’re able to restate it

Religion isn't unscientific at its core. I think that's how I might phrase the contradiction these days: the idea that religion is fundamentally not unscientific at its core. Whatever else you can say about it.

Religion is fundamentally magical thinking, though, or at least often incorporates magical thinking. Religion is a sort of magic, also, after all--organized or unorganized, it is belief in something else. Something unexplainable. The idea that there is something you cannot see or cannot understand, but that this something matters to you, to your world.

And looking back, we see religion form again and again, in vacuums and when cultures meet and share and intermingle or oppose. Studying history at the end of the day will always require at least a little bit of studying religion with it. It is omnipresent--for better and for worse--in the way that it affects us, changes how we think, influences how we behave, structures the societies we live in.

Humans are illogical creatures, made of emotions and subjective dread. Magical thinking is fundamentally illogical. It is an attempt to find and understand reason in darkness, to comprehend the things we only see in the peripheries of our visions--but not always. Only often.

Because just as much as religion is magical and illogical, it was often borne out of our craving for understanding, for logic or explanation. We see a rainbow in the sky and we do not know where it comes from, or why we can never seem to reach it, so we try and find a logical explanation for this apparent impossible thing. The answer is magic--fairies, gods, witches. Or perhaps we look at the catastrophe of a storm, look at the all-encompassing wreckage of our homes, and we need to find a reason why this could happen to us. This couldn't be an accident, it has to be by design, because if it happened for a reason, we can understand it; we can give ourselves, if only slightly, the illusion of control. We propitiate an angry god, or we find someone who we have decided isn't like us and blame them for it.

Because the thing is, as much as we are creatures of illogic, we are terrified of it. It becomes existential rather quickly--the idea that all of this is for nothing, for random accidents, that you or your community isn't special or noteworthy or safe? The idea that your pain is shapeless and your terror is aimed at nothing at all? That's hard to imagine, let alone to find comfort in. Gods give a shape to the suffering. The invention of them is one which lets us take the illogical thinking and turn it against illogical thinking. Yes, it is unreasonable. No, it doesn't make sense. It is emphatically unempirical and there will likely never be any concrete proof of any religion's magical thinking being definitively confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt as True.

But it isn't unscientific. It was borne out of the same reason as science, the desire to understand and comprehend. It went only in a different direction than scientific thought did.

The space between science and religion is the difference between what exists and what is real. We walk along paths of trying to understand the world around or within us, and the paths in between those two points is where magic can be found. Neither existing nor unreal.

[life-in-the-monster-haus]

I am so so so sorry for just popping in here and bringing back bible talk because I know you got flack for it but I wanted your opinion on this.

Fontana was doing a Q&A on Instagram for September and she answered a question about why Clawdeen and Howleen weren’t related anymore:

But the leaked bible (which I don’t believe you read) said Clawdeen and Howleen were secret cousins and it would be revealed at the end of season 1, which contradicts the show and what Fontana is saying here.

I guess I just want to know what you think cause I value your opinion but I also see fans refer to the Bible leak a lot and I know you were one of the people that didn’t believe it. (You can ignore me too I kinda just stormed in here)

I'll never ignore a well thought out question or a fellow fan who wants to exchange ideas! bring them on!

No need to apologize! The thing with the show bible got quite out of hand, now that the season is over we can clearly see it was a bunch of circumstantial nonsense. I can talk about it now, enough time and fan fare has passed.

I read it and personally? it sounded like it was mostly assumptions and educated guesses based off the direction Nickolodeon / Mattel are going in matters like diversity & inclusion. Not really something that a show staff would write.

I think everyone was HOPING Clawdeen and Howleen would still be related (I was too) but honestly? after the secret dimensional crap they pulled with Clawd & then finding out her mom was still alive, the likelihood of Clawdeen having a 3rd surprise relative she wasn't aware of became more and more unlikely.

I don't really care for the cultural consultant they hired to over-see this season. While the concern of "all monsters of a certain ethnicity assuming to be related" IS a valid concern, I don't think it applies to the wolf pack. In fact I think it brings up way more and weirder questions / implications than the one they are trying to fix.

So now that we know Howleen is not related to Clawd & Clawdeen what does this mean for Howleen? is she no longer black now? they said Hexican heritage so I'm assuming Howleen is no longer black and she is now only Mexican. I take bigger issue with them erasing Howleen's blackness than encouraging this obscure & ancient stereotype that "people of the same ethnicity would all be related" or is she ALSO mexcian and black? it's POSSIBLE for 2 different interracial families to have kids in the same area / school / grade. it's just not very likely. As a mixed person myself I take issue with this... I know lots of half Puerto Ricans in my state but I'm one of three who's Puerto Rican AND Irish and none of us are in the same age range. I don't think the wolf pack encouraged any negative stereotypes because we saw other black kids and other werewolves. it's not a problem to view them all as related IF they are in fact related. There's nothing wrong with having a big family either. Harry Potter did it with the Weasley's there's 7 children in the family but no one said it was encouraging negative stereotypes about redheads.

I love G3 I really do, it's mostly done positive things for the brand and the characters we love. But every once in awhile they kinda shoot themselves in the foot while trying to avoid something they do something way, way worse. for example in this generation they're trying to "tone down" mentions of death because they said it's too depressing for modern kids and Shea has also gone on record saying that monsters like Zombies and Ghosts aren't the remnants of dead humans, they were born monsters. Which is all well and good but then they still do things that only dead creatures do - like Vampires drinking blood - the reason they do it is because their blood cannot sustain life or Zombies eating brains, why do they still need brains if they're a complete being? and where are the brains coming from? Ghoulia made an entire loaf of Whole Brain Bread in the first season of the Nickolodeon show, brains came from someone. So someone somewhere died to provide those brains and if they're not real brains they why are we calling them brains? why not just have it be pink nutrient mush!?

Because THAT would ruin Ghoulia's cool flesh eating aesthetic, no more Brain Puffs or Cup-O-Brains. (which I personally love & I hope they never stop doing this)

See the logistical nightmare that one change created!? If no one has ever died, where is all the dead stuff coming from!? Frankie is literally made out of corpses, why is that okay!? Because their donor parts died a long time ago!? What is the cut off for how long someone has to be dead before we can joke about using their body parts to create a new person!? They have Frida Kahlo's arm and Frida died 70 years ago.

Making Howleen not related to our main wolf pack did something similar. it's created a logical nightmare that I am confident Shea and her crew do not want to answer for because "it's not plot relevant" but it's relevant to us, the fans, we're the only ones who care.

I don't like it and I think their cultural consultant is needlessly walking on egg shells. I don't feel this concern was all that much of a prominent issue with Clawdeen's family during the previous generations - if anything the fans spent WAY more time denying her being black than anything else and Mattel's flat out refusal to give her natural textured hair supported this theory. But at least G3 is trying to correct this... they need to try harder though, a few braids and baby hairs aren't going to cut it I NEED Clawdeen to have some puffs, corn rows or a whole head of braids. (stop putting blonde in her hair mixture while you're at it!) I do not like that Hoween is no longer part of our wolf pack but I guess it's better than her being written out of the series completely.

Sorry I kinda went on a tangent there, but I assume these in depth thoughts are why you guys ask me these kinds of questions to begin with.

[bl0rbohandbag]

– more vampire the masquerade x changeling the lost concepts that will not leave me alone. (part 2)

continuation of this post: part 1. "but vtm and ctl are from different settings–" shhhhhh :) if you've seen this post before no you didn't

before i begin: i have been dabbling in vampire the masquerade and changeling the lost content for a while, i am not a fan of changeling the dreaming and vampire the requiem is unfamiliar to me. anyway! buckle up, enjoy the ride, this is another long post!!

trigger warning for obsessive behavior, abuse/unhealthy relationships because vamps again, i guess.

– you're a changeling. kidnapped into arcadia and trapped there for who knows how long. in your durance, you dream of going back home, of reuniting with your friends and family, escaping your keeper to finally, finally enjoy freedom in the world you were born in.

– and one day, you do escape. back into your world, never feeling completely safe with your keeper looking to get you back and huntsmen being a very real threat, but you're ready to rebuild your life and enjoy your newfound freedom.

– except...

after a series of events, you have been forcibly/begrudingly assimilated into a coterie. perhaps a tremere found out about your changeling nature and took great interest in the faerie magic you can wield, deeming it useful for their interests, or maybe a friend or relative of yours turn out to be kindred and are now dragging you into their messes.

(this is particularly annoying if you're more of a diurnal faerie, rising with the sun and going to sleep as soon as it goes down. your circadian rhythm sucks [no pun intended] now that you're up until 3 am running around with a bunch energetic vamps.)

(bonus points if the other members of the coterie don't know what you are, initially mistaking you for a random human and being confused as to why you're there.)

you're not very familiar with kindred, but at this point you're not as wary of them as you should be, either. after all, you've dealt with the treachery and cruelty of the fae, traversed goblin markets, escaped the hedge - you think you can handle yourself pretty well.

(... that's why you see no problem in making a pledge with that mysterious fanged gentleman, offering your blood in exchange for whatever you might need in return. when the pledge is over and they're no longer needed, you ghost them, unknowingly leaving behind a vampire who is now addicted to changeling blood, your changeling blood, and the rush of human emotions brought by being in contact with glamour, no matter how terrible the withdrawal feels.)

on another hand, purposefully letting a vampire drink your blood to torment them might be a fun little prank >:)

(note/context: there is a bit of a contradiction regarding how kindred react to changeling blood. some books mention that it doesn't do anything different than a human's, but tastes heavenly and causes no damage to the vampire consuming it, and it might even resurface human feelings or emotions long forgotten. however, changeling the lost: rites of spring, though establishing that changeling blood isn't directly harmful to kindred, still has a hallucinatory effect on them. it is said that the vampire suffers -1 penalty to perception rolls every vitae worth of changeling's blood they consume, because they suffer misleading visions that also plague the Lost of low Clarity, a.k.a it causes one hell of a bad trip ["faces sprout in the environment and babble nonsense rhymes, colors shift and bleed, the outlines of objects warp and shudder."] that lasts until the vampire sleeps it off, and even then they might be plagued with vivid nightmares. so i guess whatever works best.)

a kindred parent who has dedicated their life to finding their missing child after witnessing their kidnapping by an otherworldy, inhuman creature. it might very well be the reason they sought out the embrace, in the first place, after learning their child might still be alive even after centuries have passed, and to be strong enough to protect them from whoever tries to take them back.

using oneiromancy on your malkavian mother to give her beautiful, pleasant, peaceful dreams. perhaps she dreams of you, and picnics with food she can taste under a summer's day sky, and the sun on her skin doesn't burn or frighten her. and it feels so real, so much so that she is filled with a sense of warmth and longing she can never shake off. you do what you can to take care of her. from a distance.

traditionalist ancilla parent who naturally turns to you when they are experiencing issues with technology or anything related to the modern world because you are their child and therefore should know about this stuff, but they forget you were stuck in Arcadia for like three hundred years and you have no idea how to operate an IPhone.

if anyone remembers the ventrue dad using his ghouls as his changeling child's bodyguards, let me expand on that: you are an absolute MENACE to the ghouls babysitting you. if you have been isolated from the world, that means they're basically your social circle, so you talk their ears off and trick them for fun quite often. not only that, but they're the ones that have to run around to retrieve you when they notice you have succesfully escaped again.

(this might evolve into the ghouls becoming your sorta kinda motley. they figure that taking you out during the day won't hurt when you're under their supervision, as long as it means you'll stop running away. you end up dragging them into all sorts of changeling shenanigans, from seasonal court drama to trips to the goblin market, pledges gone awry and etc. they become quite involved in the whole changeling thing. and you STILL prank them when you're bored.)

now the dynamic between the changeling child and their parent's revenants far more removed from humanity might be... interesting.

alternatively, a fetch-maker changeling making a fetch of themselves in order to escape their captor, be it their parent, a partner or a just a kindred who got too interested in them.

(alternatively again, a fetchmaker changeling will continuously make fetches of themselves to throw off/escape their vampire, and said vampire just keeps noticing the differences every single time. it might take them a while, but they notice!)

a vampire who wants you but cannot have you going after your fetch and seducing them instead, maybe even in a conscious attempt to disturb you.

(drinking the fetch's blood will make them immediately regret it, though. fetch blood is just... Not A Fun Time).

a tzimisce's vicissitude is an all too familiar horror.

ancilla toreador who enjoys toying with emotions and sire their lovers just to abandon them after x centuries-old, manipulative fairest who spent their long durance in arcadia being revered for their beauty and talent = potentially the most toxic interaction to ever exist, so nuclear people grow extra limbs just from existing within their vicinity.

(tldr: toreador x fairest cunt off who wins)

"nice is different than good" is a lesson you thought you learned after years of dealing with all sorts of fae creatures, be it the gentry, hobgoblins or even your own changeling peers. but you're not in arcadia anymore, and isn't learning how to trust again a part of healing? ... and somehow that means ignoring the red flags your newly-acquired partner is exhibiting. point is: you didn't exactly sign up for a vampire making your strange life even stranger, but now they're becoming more and more attached to you. not that you're aware of this, or the fact that they're kindred, but you'll find out. oh, you'll find out.

(eventually, their vampire antics are bound to catch up to you. eventually, your changeling antics are bound to catch up to them. it's just a matter of which one will happen first.)

(unhealthy kindred relationship tendencies aside, it's not absurd a vampire lover or secret admirer would become obsessed with a changeling, without even knowing the changeling's true nature. there's just something about them. becoming the subject of obsessive behavior is possible, romantic, platonic or otherwise, born out of a spark of curiosity or a grudge. look at rose gonzalez and roddy van bastelaar, for example.

and if they are aware of what you are, it's all the better. you're like a fairy-tale come to life! but changelings can be a little too similar to their keepers sometimes, and it sometimes backfires. add an obsessed or scorned vampire into the mix and you'll have a recipe for disaster.)

alternatively, a good, healthy (as it can be) relationship with a vampire that absolutely embraces the whole changeling lifestyle. anarchs? camarilla? no. a nosferatu or hecata girlfriend would feel right at home at the moon court's freehold. a tremere boyfriend would love nothing more than to sit with their autumn court changeling partner and read through piles and piles of old books on fairy magic.

a spring courtier changeling helping a vampire acquire necessary information using memory of trees.

(vampire: so you're telling me that you know that one scripture i've been looking for over twenty years is buried underneath the chapel because a fucking tree told you about it?

spring courtier changeling: yes? :3)

when a malkavian surprises you with a cryptic prophetic vision about your life, surprise them back! tell them about the cryptic prophetic vision you had about them, and try to rope them into a pledge by telling them you can alter their fate with simple little spell :) for a price, of course :)

in true fairy-tale fashion, you return home to find that not only your parent has been embraced in your time away, but they have found a lover as undead as they are. maybe it's their sire, maybe someone they met after becoming kinred. but while your parent is overjoyed with your miraculous return, your new evil step-parent just sees you as a nuisance.

(there are so many ways this dynamic can be expanded upon!

not being aware of your parents and their partner's vampirism, but still feeling that something is fundamentally off whenever you're at their new fancy mansion/penthouse [maybe your live there. maybe you drop by for a visit, after they get you settled in a nice house or apartment close by]. your new stepfather is insufferable, eccentric and treats you coldly, perhaps outright shitty when your parent is not around, but your parent seems happy enough - or not, but they won't hear a word of concern from you.

and if you are aware, then... well. they'll just take it as an opportunity to further terrify you.)

[tumblingxelian]

Underrated Writing: .Hack's Morganna Mode Gone

There's a villain I don't think gets enough credit, Morgana Mode Gone from .Hack//Sign, Liminality and the four part game series, plus the AI Buster novels.

Brief summary:

Hack is set on a slightly altered history Earth, where in part due to plot & also the era it was conceived it blends the Sci-Fu futurism and "The internet is magic" together with the "Isekai" and "Trapped in a game" story concepts. Different eras of the series have different tones & structures, but this is covering the early eras overarching Villain.

Morganna Mode Gone is the "God" of a game simply called "The World", which was based on the writings of the epic poem Epitaph of Twilight.

But in truth she is more akin to a Gnostic deity, false or proto god. Because her primary purpose is actually to tend to and facilitate the birth of the worlds Ultimate AI, Aura.

I mean actual AI, as in, artificial intelligence, not some shitty algorithm tech bro idiots slapped a trench coat on.

Morganna Mode Gone is herself an artificial intelligence, one capable of contradicting herself, ah sapience, but is still bound by the rules of her programming.

This is a problem for her because once Aura is born/awake, Morganna Mode Gone won't have a purpose and she can't really conceive of what happens then.

As a result, before the series even began she essentially fragmented off a portion of her own identity, forming the Vagrant AI Macha, but she couldn't solve the problem.

Because if Aura dies, then Morganna Mode Gone also has no purpose. She needs a way to Ouroboros this situation, leaving Aura always growing but never developing, never waking.

She also trapped her and Aura's creator in The World when he realized what was happening. He survives the series but never escapes, and eventually devolves/evolves into a sort of living relic.

It was around this period that she began breaking & twisting things to try & escape the paradox she was trapped in. Re-styling herself from Harold's idea of a mother into the Cursed Wave.

This included orchestrating the hunting down and deletion, IE murder of other Vagrant AI's that were forming as a result of the Black Box meant to birth Aura, IE, proto Aura's, like Lycoris.

"I am an unwanted child. Even God doesn't want me." — Lycoris —

As well as using Macha or Guardians to 'Data Drain' any humans who get to close, which at its lightest, leaves them temporarily comatose, destroys their characters and has a negative impact on their mind.

You might notice Moraganna Mode Gone has not yet been established as making an appearance, good eye.

See, one of the things that makes her so interesting to me is that Moraganna Mode Gone is nominally omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent figure.

She is the underlying system of The World itself and for all intents and purposes a force of nature. As a result she primarily acts through intermediaries, or by guiding others to act for purposes.

Managing to make a villain like this work, and work so effectively is one of the biggest strengths. As it is, we pure Moraganna Mode Gone as a disembodies voice that influences the world & creatures.

She also has some fantastic lines, though not quite as effective without the atmosphere and delivery, I still love them, such as:

"The higher up it is dropped, the worse the crash will be. Hope is the best spice to bring out despair." — Morganna Mode Gone —

In order to accomplish her goal, Moraganna Mode Gone has Macha manipulate and Data Drain Tsukasa. A human who she had been watching and trying to replicate for some time, but without getting what she needed for her goal.

This also involved warping Tsukasa's memories, leaving only those of her abusive father, and creating a divide between her real world identity of Shoji and online identity Tsukasa, to further weaken his ties to the real world. Tsukasa's gender is rather liquid, as far as I can tell and either way, also a lesbian.

"The World and all of its wonders; this is my world, you see."— Tsukasa —

The reason for this was to essentially tie Tsukasa's desire to stay within The World to Aura's development. So long as Tsukasa never wanted to leave, Aura would never want to wake up.

However, other determined players, isolation, and a disconnect from physical sensation leading to alienation led to Tsukasa gaining connections and desires outside of simply staying in The World.

This, Morganna Mode Gone began... Moving chess pieces so to speak. Orchestrating traumatic incidents. Giving Tsukasa a pet monsters for protection but that would also attack those she wanted gone. As Tsukasa continues to develop independence Aura's health improves, VS her sickened, pallid state when Tsukasa is locked in survival mode.

Things eventually come to ahead and well,

Morgnanna Mode Gone basically destroys Tsukasa's mind to ensure a perpetual state of despair and catatonia. Permanently stunting Aura's development.

Much of the rest of the series, is centered on the rest of the characters gaining the necessary knowledge to finally understand the situation.

As well as the Macha fragment of Morganna Mode Gone's ties to Tsukasa creating doubt and Subaru and Tsukasa's bond managing to slowly begin waking Tsukasa up.

Which naturally leads to Morganna Mode Gone needing to orchestrate more despair, but circumstances such as the bastion of Net Slum & her programming keep her from auto winning.

A great deal happens, including some mind fuckery and illussion conversations. Along with more classive abuser tactices like holding the threat of what awaits Tsukasa in theoutside over head.

But eventually Aura is awakened by Tsukasa's desire to return to the real world regardless of the hurled and the characters escape with Aura, thanks to the turncoat Sora.

Suffice to say this doesn't pan out well for him.

Morganna fragments more of herself and uses him as a sort of beacon & vessel to craft the first Phase of the Cursed Wave:

"Riding the Wave is Skeith, the Shadow of Death, to drown all that stands." — Epitaph of Twilight —

This is such an imposing threat that Helba, thematically the same Helba, Queen of the Dark from the Epitaph of Twilight, has to erase the entire world segment they are in just to keep Skeith away from them and put Aura beyond its reach for a time.

Skeith continues to be hosted inside Sora in an ensuing novel, with Sora flittering between amnesiac, malevolent brat and an utterly inhuman monster which violates the basic principles of the game.

But is eventually devoured by Skeith and continued hunting down Aura until the Phase is defeated in .Hack Infection. A memory of Sora leaves behind a reward for the one who did the deed.

Moraganna Mode Gone wasn't done however.

As all this was happening, she basically began fragmenting off parts of herself into other portions of the Cursed Wave:

Skeith:"The Terror of Death"

Innis:"The Mirage of Deceit"

Magus:"The Propagation"

Fidchell:"The Prophet"

Gorre: "The Machinator"

Macha:"The Temptress"

Tarvos:"The Avenger"

Corbenik:"The Rebirth"

Relying on the logic that Aura wasn't yet 'finished' or otherwise not not correct 7 so needed to be destroyed like any other Vagrant AI, so Morganna could start the process over again.

These phased also sent anyone they encountered into comas and even altered electrical installation and internet usage with their presence, while generally corrupting The World.

Fun fact, they all have the symbol of an eye on them representing Morganna Mode Gone's presence in them and her observing the world through them.

Skeith actually did manage to capture and fragment Aura, but not before she created the Bracelet of Twilight, and with it the Eldrich horror Cubia to combat the Cursed Wave.

Morganna Mode Gone would eventually fuse with the last of her Phases in a bid to directly end her foe that had slowly, over the course of four games, destroyed the other seven phases and Cubia.

Ultimately, Aura had to sacrifice herself to ensure Morganna Mode Gone would be destroyed, but in doing so, also allowed herself to be reborn .

Remnants of her continue to haunt and corrupt the world in the form of Data Bugs and an effort by the parent company to recreate her through the lingering fragments of the Eight Phases doesn't go quite to plan, let's say.

Conclusion:

But yeah, Morganna Mode Gone, No one is doing it like her, she has everything:

She is a force of nature and omnipresent goddess, to a Gnostic false god & a program breaking itself & everything around it in the quest for agency inside its own mind that struck down her creator.

She's a woman bound to and violently rejecting the sacrificial role of mother & seeking to destroy that which will supersede her & a manipulator and abuser, as well as philosopher and prisoner.

She is a corruptive influence on the world as well as the very foundation upon which the world world itself is built & she is the Cursed Wave, part of a story, a myth, a poem that is woven into The World itself.

What's more,

Her fragments in the Cursed Wave Phases are all a wonderful blend of eldrich, Biblical & elemental. Something only enhanced by the games Graphics of the time:

[crooked-wasteland]

The Existential Separation of Heaven and Hell

The first question to ask is why are the settings of Heaven and Hell? 

It is why this is a rewrite or fanfiction and not being drafted as its own fantasy world devoid from the lineage of Hazbin Hotel. While Medrano’s version could have been set anywhere, separate of questions about God and religion, mine cannot. In fact, the entire story hinges on this dichotomy of cultural perception and history through the lens of theology. 

But more than being a critique of religion as a construct, it is a tomb in which a part of myself is buried. I’ve spoken briefly about my background in religion. My relationship with religion is the focus of the design, as is the state of Hell being a meaningless continuation of current life being the embodiment of my experience walking away from all the gods. Because I didn’t lose faith in my God as it were, I realized God has always ever been an apathetic observer to life itself. It made me see God himself as being morally bankrupt. 

The idea that he would help me pass a test but allow an entire family to die in a freak accident. That God was more concerned with two lovers—pure in their devotion—not presenting themselves before him for approval, than he was with children being beaten, tortured, or killed by their own parents. That it was more important that I hated people who loved differently than it was to hate those who wish harm to others. 

I didn’t see contradiction in that God; I saw a chaotic continuity. It wasn’t something made of love, but a creature drenched in apathy. My nihilism wasn’t born from a void left by an absent God; it was born from the void I saw inside Him. 

And that is a fundamental part of this story: My truth that God himself is an empty throne. He may sit upon it; he may not, but the outcomes are ever the same in his absence and his presence. 

Meanwhile, the origination of Hell as a human continuation of existence cut off from any god is to challenge you, regardless of your personal beliefs, to enter a world where nothing you do matters because you are cut off from that divinity. You are no longer required to keep striving for anything, no longer forced to seek sovereign approval. To confront you with that radical freedom to live purely free without consequence and be whoever you want to be. 

Will you become violent, cruel, debased?  When given no authoritarian consequences for your actions are you suddenly a demon, or are you simply you? 

I am of the firm belief that when faced with that ledge, what Camus would call “Absurd Freedom”, they quickly look away. There is an existential anxiety attached to that place, what Kierkegaard called “Angst”. Kierkegaard wrote, “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” The feeling of this concept is like standing on an edge over which you see nothing but darkness below. Would you have the fortitude to leap—or do you believe you would simply sink; becoming undone by freedom. For all the misery you have lived through to this point, regardless of whether it is great or comparatively small, is your sense of self so brittle that, without the threat of punishment, it crumbles? And if it crumbles—was it ever truly yours, or merely something you were assigned? 

My position is akin to a Kierkegaardian ‘leap of faith’, but not toward a god. Rather, a leap toward the human spirit. My world asserts that, no, most of us would not suddenly abandon our humanity just because the divine scaffolding has vanished. In fact, I believe many wouldn’t even confront it – they would simply continue, propelled by inertia. 

This state of drifting inertia, of surviving without living, is not new. Many have written about it from varied perspectives: 

Albert Camus – What he calls a “refusal to revolt” or assert one’s own existence; continuing to live while pretending you don’t have to choose how to do so. Soren Kierkegaard – What he called the “aesthetic life”.  Living for a beauty defined by wanton pleasure, detached irony, and distraction is a refusal to confront the radical freedom of choice in the name of silencing the anxiety it brings. Friedrich Nietzsche – What he named “herd morality”: the values we’ve constructed out of fear of the unknown, the resentment of the other, or for a convenient comfort rather than our own initiative built from will. What many erroneously see as a disavowal of social responsibility is actually Nietzsche’s attempt at demanding personal responsibility for our social beliefs. Simone de Beauvoir – What she called “Bad Faith” or the rejection of personal responsibility by pretending the systems we live in weren’t chosen. Her philosophy asserts that there is nothing wrong with living inside these systems, but it is a wicked lie to say we couldn’t choose something else. Michel Foucault – What he metaphorically called the “Panopticon Prison” or the state of internalized discipline and self-regulation for the benefit of institutional control. Carl Jung – What he would call the “Unintegrated Shadow”. Jung, though a psychologist and not a philosopher, is included because his theories reflect the same “institutionalization” of the Self—one that begins within us and which many live their entire lives denying responsibility of. Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel – His philosophies compliment the rest by his mere definition of a “self”; not simply a thing, but a process in the same constant motion as the Solar System. You don’t exist on your own—you become who you are by being seen, challenged, and understood by others. His theory is hard to explain plainly, but think of it like this: You can’t understand a bird by looking at a feather. You have to see how that feather works with the wind and the anatomy of the bird’s hollow bones, and the motion of flight. The same is true of people—truth isn’t in the pieces; it’s in the synthesis. And that synthesis doesn’t have a clean ending; it can continue infinitely unless it is intentionally stopped short.  His definition of inertia, then, is the willful refusal to engage with the process.  Martin Heidegger – What he would call “Inauthenticity”, much like de Beauvoir’s Bad Faith, is a passive avoidance of one’s own truth. But where her philosophy focused on awareness of the self, he fixated on the awareness of time. Our pursuit of comfort and safety in the present is simply a means of ignoring that the inevitability of death gives urgency to life. We will die no matter what but living without agency is to act like we shall live forever. 

This is what defines the state of Hell. Not just what it is (a continuation of life without access to any god) but also why (to confront the material reality of the human condition we are living in). My Heaven and my Hell are a challenge unto you to radically accept the raw reality of life through fantasy. To travel through the valleys of the shadow of death without a god and without comfort and see how far you can go. See if you can create divinity rather than hide beneath it. 

[akirathedramaqueen]

How Moxxie was born in two places at the same time?

So, err... I might've missed something, but I was thinking about one potential hiccup in the Moxxie's story.

In the Harvest Moon Festival, Moxxie is being mocked by Mille's dad for the desire to compete in games, while Moxxie says: "I was born here, too. I have some fat in me!" It's easy to deduce: 'here' means Wrath ring.

Besides, Blitzø mentions his employees are from Wrath during conversation with Stolas, cementing in stone that somewhere around that period Moxxie's birthplace was the same as Millie's.

But here comes the other episode, Exes and Oohs.

The whole episode revolves around Moxxie, and we learn, suddenly, that Greed ring is "his old stomping ground".

And that question, "Oh yeah, this is your old stomping ground, isn't it, Moxx?" comes from Blitzø. Who claimed a couple of episodes earlier a contradictory statement.

The episode doesn't seem to address that, no one mentions, "Hey, that wasn't what he said before".

My theory is that it's not that deep, and chances are writers either forgot Moxxie was originally from Wrath, or deliberately decided to abandon it, making a new canon instead, which, I don't argue, is a much better fit for him. He didn't look like a creature from Wrath at all, and his history with mafia which reminds of La Cosa Nostra or something, collides well with his love of art, more complicated language, and character design in general.

But I am going to do some mental gymnastics here and stretch it a bit to try to fill the gap and explain, how so is Moxxie suddenly has two birthplaces.

For the contradiction to disappear, we need to address the general issue of neither Blitzø nor Millie having the correct information about Moxxie's origins.

With Millie, it's easier. I could easily imagine Moxx wanting to impress her and lying about where he was from, and then going along with it, never correcting it. It's just a small lie, and it's not like he was going to introduce her to his father who he wanted to never see again. This won't explain why Millie didn't react at the revelation that Moxx lied to her, but she was curious why she never got introduced to his father, so... I think this kinda checks? Maybe she was worried about not knowing Moxxie's family more than 'hey, didn't he tell he was from Wrath?' nagging question.

But it's harder with Blitzø. Blitzø himself makes two contradictory statements. Though, if to really pull the owl on a globe (see? SEE? HA! ahem sorry), I coooould say that the second occurence didn't mean "your birthplace", but rather "the place you lived in for a very long time", so then we could assume that in Blitzø's mind, Moxxie was born in Wrath, then moved to Greed and spent there a considerable amount of years. That would've made sense. Again, Blitzø doesn't ask any questions and is not amused by his knowledge to be wrong, but neither does Millie, so we just leave this at that.

Or, both could be true - Moxxie's mother could be from Wrath, father - from Greed, so he could have been born where his mom was but was very little while they moved, so he doesn't have any actual connection to the place, hence no cultural connection and no, as he says himself, 'fat'.

(kinda offtopic): FUNNY THOUGH, how the first thing he says in Exes and Oohs is: "You know, I checked the scale today, and it said I lost two pounds this week... I AM NOT FAT!" Yea-yea, it's the reference to the previous episode, where Loona ridiculed him for his weight, but couldn't help but notice that it also connected to Moxxie saying "I have some fat" in the episode where he claimed to be from Wrath

I wonder if there could be a better explanation, but this is what I came up with. :) The show is usually so good at foreshadowing and narrative, I was surprised to find something like that, but it was fun to try to salvage the thing anyway. :D

[shammah8]

𝙍𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙎𝙊𝘿𝙔 𝙊𝙁 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙏𝙄𝙀𝙎

Thursday, May 22nd, 2025.

LIVE ABOVE HUMAN LIMITATIONS AND MIND-SETS

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Pastor Chris Oyakhilome Dsc. Dsc. DD.

📖 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48).

In Christ Jesus, we’ve been called to a life of perfection, victory and glory. Yet, there’re those who knowingly or unknowingly resist this truth by holding on to human limitations. They often say, “We are all human,” or “Nobody is perfect.” They use these statements to justify living below the divine life we’ve been called to in Christ.

When people say “We’re all humans,” they forget the transformation that took place when we were born again. The Bible declares, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17). As new creatures in Christ, we’re not merely human—we’re born of God, partakers of the divine nature (2 Peter 1:4).

The other common phrase “Nobody is perfect” also contradicts the Scriptures. The Lord Jesus unequivocally stated in our opening verse, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” Perfection means to be full-grown in maturity, blameless, unspotted, wanting nothing; a completeness.

Then you have another common generalization which is “We all make mistakes,” as though living beyond mistakes is inevitable. But the Word of God teaches us differently. The Bible says, “Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God” (1 John 3:9).

The seed of God—the life and nature of God—is in you, empowering you to live above error and walk in righteousness. It’s about your knowledge and understanding of Christ and His Gospel. It’ll put you above every limitation to live the glorious life He has given you. Many are hindered by negative beliefs and traditions handed down by those who don’t know the truth. But you must look to the Word and refuse to live by these limiting mind-sets.

The life in Christ is one of excellence, righteousness, victory, and dominion over sin, Satan and circumstances. The life of Christ in you is a perfect life, and it’s your responsibility to walk in its reality. Refuse to accept mediocrity or failure. Look to the Word, believe it, and live by it. Hallelujah!

🗣 C O N F E S S I O N

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I am not a mere human; I am born of God, a partaker of His divine nature, incorruptible and impregnable. I live the life of righteousness, perfection and glory in Christ. I refuse to accept human limitations, for I am empowered by the Spirit to live the victorious life. Hallelujah!

📖 FURTHER STUDY:

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Romans 12:2; And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. ||

Hebrews 10:14; For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified. ||

Romans 8:29; For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. ||

1 John 3:2; Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. ||

[a-ramblinrose]

“It’s not the dark we’re afraid of,” the goat girl continued, “it’s being in darkness with eyes that were built for the light. It’s not a lone ghost we’re afraid of—it’s the ghost appearing in the realm of the living, in the same room as our breathing bodies. We are never afraid of a thing on its own, as it is. We’re afraid of something intruding in a context in which it doesn’t belong. What is a monster? It’s a contradiction. A creature who houses two dissonant aspects. So yes, a girl is not monstrous on her own. Nor is a goat. But a goat is a goat and a girl is a girl, or so it should be. Nestle them side by side, in one body, and that is where the monstrosity is born. Am I a monster? Yes, love, I am. I am a monster because I contain too much.���

― GennaRose Nethercott, Fifty Beasts to Break Your Heart: And Other Stories

[thenightfolknetwork]

Im a nypmh. A forest nymph specifically. My days are spent dancing and singing and existing in the forest I was born to. Its great really. My forest is even protected so I dont need to worry about any sapios coming in an bothering me!

But Im also trans. Im a guy. But nymphs are supposed to be feminine and Im. Not. Ive already felt myself loosing connection with this forest as I begun transitioning. Im scared that if I fully transition, Ill lose it entirely. Can that happen? Or is the forest just disappointed in me?

Should I stop my transition? Ive tried to communicate with the forest but she wont respond to me when I bring it up. Im just not sure what to do

I'm sorry your forest seems to be struggling with your transition, reader. However, I think there is plenty of reason to stay optimistic here. You know as well as anyone that, if a powerful nature spirit really doesn't want you around, you'd know about it. The fact you still have a connection with her means she still wants you to have a connection with her.

You're correct in saying that nymphs tend to be female, but my understanding is that this is a linguistic matter rather than a biological one. The word we use for females of your genus is “nymph”, while males with similar cultural identities tend to be referred to as “satyrs”.

Your feeling of disconnect are very likely more related to how you perceive yourself rather than how the forest is perceiving you. The fact is, you cannot simultaneously think of nymphs as inherently feminine, and of yourself as a nymph, while also respecting and celebrating your own masculine identity.

Your forest can feel that inner conflict. She can see you're no longer comfortable with your identity as a nymph, but doesn't have the tools to help you through that discomfort. All she can do is try to give you space, loosening her hold on you and allowing you the freedom to make your own choices.

So, what are those choices, exactly? For one thing, I certainly don't think stopping your transition is a good idea. Your gender is not defined by your body, and a lack of medical transition won't make you any less male.

It also won't solve the underlying issue – that you, as a man, do not feel able to identify as a nymph. In fact, I suspect it will serve to disconnect you even more from your body and your forest, with the pain of dysphoria acting as a constant reminder of the authentic, masculine self you're trying to hide.

Instead, I recommend either unpacking your gendered assumptions around being a nymph, or embracing a positive, male alternative identity for yourself. Do you feel able to say of yourself, “I am a man and a nymph and these do not contradict each other”? Or would you be more comfortable identifying as a satyr or some other identity that feels more affirming?

There isn't a right answer here. You need to find something that works for you. But you do need to make that decision, and try to heal this conflict inside you.

As you do, I feel certain your connection with your forest will bloom anew – different than it was, perhaps, but also more authentic, connecting not with a mere idea or aspiration, but with the man you truly are.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[unabashedmoonlight]

Playing around with the concept of Alina having a Sun Summoner twin, maybe a brother. Maybe his powers manifest before hers and Alina's subconscious which hid away her powers to stay with Mal does the opposite here to stay with her brother. Maybe they get taken to the little palace. Maybe they run away and don't. Maybe they aren't in that orphanage/Ravka in the first place. But her having a twin.. a constant companion who has the same powers as her (ik that's unlikely/not necessary but not impossible) and how that would have a major part in doing away with her loneliness. Also, I am a sucker for siblings in media.

Give them contradicting personalities/goals and have them settling on middle grounds while pushing each others' boundaries. Maybe he is more ambitious than her, not even power-wise. Maybe he is just more curious and wants to travel the world. With how rich that world gets later on, I really wanted Alina to just explore it a bit, meet different people/creatures, experiment around a bit.

They would find out about the legend of the Sun Summoner and figure out what they are. What they decide to do from there - they could just hide or pose as inferni/not a grisha depending on where they are. They could go around spreading fake rumors to throw people off. They could take advantage of it - there are so many things ndhd.

How would Aleksander react to this? If/when he manages to get his hands on them, would he try to separate them? Pit them against each other, get them to compete so that they fight for his favor and are more in his control and less likely to unionize lol? Blackmail each using the other? How would he even feel about this entire situation? He would be even more jealous of her, of him. He travelled the world looking for his siblings to try to get one to stay with him and failed and they were just born with each other, with same powers, same age (unlike him and his emotionally closed off Madraya). There are so many possibilities jdjd.

Not to mention the fact that this means only these 2 can kill each other (at least initially). Play with power/ambition a bit and we could get sibling angst/betrayal/miscommunication.

[moonandstcrs]

(simone ashley, thirty -one, cis woman, she/her) you do not know me but rest assured i know you, MISS LALITA MEHTA. you are the BACKROOM WORKER AT THE KING'S THEATER. you maybe be known for your ALLURING NATURE but it is only a mask for the true nature of your QUIXOTIC ways. however, i am not here to spread slander on the queen’s jewels, though i suspect you are her SPINEL. the ton says your name reminds them of A LOCKET ENGRAVED WITH HER MOTHER'S NAME ANOTHER WOMAN FALLEN FROM GRACE, WHISPERED NOTHINGS IN A CANDLELIT PARLOR, HAIR FALLING DOWN HER BACK TO HER SILK CHEMISES. how scandalous! you have been warned, dear reader, that i will prove if this is true and share every last detail.

full  name  :  miss lalita mehta.  dob  :  30th of march, 1783.  age  :  thirty and one.  zodiac  :  aries.  gender  :  cis  woman.  pronouns  :  she  /  her.  orientation  :  bisexual .  hair  color  :  black.  eye  color  : brown. 

there are whispers that float down the candlelit halls of the king’s theatre, where music lilts and scandal dances in silk slippers. miss lalita mehta, a name best uttered behind folding fans and over too-sweet champagne, is said to be the theatre’s most captivating enigma. those who claim to know her speak in contradiction: she is warmth and steel, temptation and tact, a creature of the night whose eyes reflect too many truths. to some, she is a jewel; to others, she is the clasp of a locket—a quiet inheritance of a forgotten lineage, engraved with a name too heavy for polite society.

born to a woman once cast from grace, lalita grew up in the shadowed corners of drawing rooms and dressing tables, where she learned early that beauty is a weapon and silence is currency. she was taught by maids, dancers, and actors alike—how to hold a man’s gaze, how to read a room, how to leave without being followed. she became a master of mimicry and mystery, the perfect hostess of the backroom, the one whose presence men paid dearly for and whose name they dared not speak in daylight.

but there is more to miss mehta than rouge and whispered nothings. tucked inside the bodice of her gown, or behind the false bottom of her vanity drawer, lies her most prized collection: letters. not love notes, but admissions. secrets spilled between drinks and candle stubs, between idle fingers and loose tongues. she listens as men confess their misdeeds—illegal wagers, forbidden romances, business fraud, betrayals of war and wife—and she commits them to paper in her practiced hand. she is no blackmailer, not yet, but she understands the power of having such weapons close, should the world ever forget who she is or why she cannot be dismissed.

now, with a past wrapped in satin and danger, lalita has begun her greatest performance yet. under the patronage of sir thayer claremont—an ex-client turned calculated benefactor—she has emerged into society as a “guest,” welcomed with curious smiles and narrowed eyes. her gowns are fine, her speech measured, her manners just imperfect enough to pass for foreign nobility or some long-lost cousin from the colonies. no one asks too many questions. they assume her beauty is inheritance enough.

she attends soirées with the grace of a practiced performer, charming dukes and dancing with barons. she listens more than she speaks, always learning. the ton believes she is seeking a match—some say for love, others for comfort—but lalita knows better. she seeks survival, ascension, safety. and yes, perhaps revenge. she has studied the rules of their world, and if she cannot rewrite them, she will at least play the game until the ink dries in her favor.

of course, the theater still calls to her. beneath the silk and lace of borrowed nobility, she is still the girl who grew up behind the curtains, who knows how to slip through shadows and read a man’s soul by the state of his gloves. the king’s theatre is her sanctuary and her battlefield, a place where no one dares to challenge her reign. not yet.

in the end, miss lalita mehta may never be a duchess, may never wear a title embroidered onto the hem of her gown. but she will be something rarer: a woman no man forgets, and no one dares to underestimate.

and in the quiet moments, between glasses of port and the rustle of lace, she wonders—if she does win the hand of a lord this season, will she finally feel free? or will the nobility become just another role, another costume she cannot take off?

either way, she will be ready.

[tantalizingtopi]

From the Journal of Enver Gortash

Durge x Gortash

Word count: 644

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters portrayed in this writing, they are property of Baldur’s Gate 3 and Larian Studios

When a one shot becomes a triple take?

Post Durge coming to Gortash and agreeing tentatively to an initial deal, Gortash muses on what he knows about the Chosen as well as his desire to know her more intimately. This occurs post Amusing and Persistence if you’re interested in reading more.

‘The Chosen of Bhaal finally came to me in the quiet hours of the morning today. They continue to prove to be astute, discriminating, and reserved, all qualities I admire but that can prove to be more difficult in an alliance. However, I believe we have come to some form of arrangement, however tepid it is at the moment. I’ve come to believe the spawn could be more than a means to an end, but as an actual ally and equal, a relationship built on trust and respect.

‘I was pleasantly surprised when they brought up our respective gods, and where past plans have failed. I had not thought to bring to words the undertow of musings I myself have also had since hearing of a Bhaalist cult growing in the city. It was bold, but we must tread lightly through this one step at a time, for all is doomed to fail if we turn on one another as previous failures have. She is as sharp as her blades, and we can use that to our advantage to tighten up any possible problems in future endeavors.

‘I have been told that she is of Bhaal alone, born from his blood completely. When she caught me unawares a little over two tendays ago, I was surprised at the creature before me, and this morning she remains just as beguiling. None of my research told me that the spawn was so beddable, only of her form and a very undescriptive one at that. I promptly punished the one responsible for the report on her. To imagine that Bhaal would be capable of making such a beautiful offspring, and by him alone. Unfathomable.

‘I am not above my natural instincts, but I detect she is not so readily inclined. If I wish to pursue this particular avenue, I must be prepared and move forward with the utmost caution, for I suspect she would have no hesitation in dismembering me were I to give her cause. However, one cannot help but think it may be possible given the facts presented.

-‘She appears a little rebellious in the face of her father, for I have learned that she busks in the parks and donates the earnings to the homeless children. Perhaps that is an avenue I can take advantage of?

-‘The barkeep at Elfsong Tavern states that she plays there about once a tenday or so, and is always very friendly to customers and staff. This contradicts typical behavior that is often recorded about bhaalspawn.

-‘Possibly unrelated, but since her appearance in the city, the majority of reports of missing persons and found dead have been those with more unsavory behaviors. It is rather fortunate that my dealings with Zariel ended shortly before she appeared, as she may not be as willing to forge an alliance with me if she were to find out about that bit of nasty business. Still, this is all conjecture.

-‘I am not familiar with the customs surrounding Bhaalists, but it was rather intimate watching her taste my blood and she appeared to genuinely enjoy it.

-‘She took my handkerchief with her when she left this morning. It has my initials on it. This could be interpreted as interest, but also possibly a mistake?

-‘She came in through my window but allowed me to escort her to the door when she left. An attempt at normalizing the interaction or just being polite?

‘Perplexing. And possibly I am just being naive and wanting to see more than what is. It would only complicate matters, but it could prove mutually beneficial and enhance our trust and respect.

‘We made a plan to meet again in a tenday when our perspective tasks are complete. In the meantime, I will do my best to gather more intelligence about this mysterious Chosen.’

[srarizard]

Back on my Rayman bullshit.

I literally have nowhere to talk about Rayman but the Tumblr tag seems to be popping so here goes. I am probably the only person on planet Earth who cannot stop thinking about Reflux. I will always be critical of Rayman 3 for its very surface level characters and unfunny "humor", but it still has a lot of environmental storytelling if you look for it. For example, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the Knaaren are bipedal toads.

Artistic liberties were taken, of course, but it's almost a perfect match. It also explains the dot on his forehead, as most toads have warts all over. The warts only become more prominent during the final boss battle, too.

Not to mention, the tunnel system they live in is directly outside of a ravine full of poisoned water. This implies that there might have been a time when they were semi-aquatic. They also have flat teeth, with no canines. I like to think it's because they are herbivores forced to feast on whatever they can find, because they have no plants within miles to feed on. It would explain why they prefer the brain, as it's squishy and easy to chew, as well as the zombie eggs that are the only notable, reliable food source seen in the desert.

Now, what about the way that they evolved? Most of this is speculation, but I can at least tie it together. Knaaren are invincible canonically. Reflux contradicts this in two ways; he has defeated other Knaaren to claim the title of champion, and he dies at the end of Rayman 3. It can only be concluded that he isn't a "normal" Knaaren, and the best way to explain this is to acknowledge the fact that the champion receives the power of the Leptys. Not only is Reflux the only Knaaren to use magic, his boss battle is, quite frankly, insane. I just replayed it yesterday, and it came extremely close. It's possible he used his power to exhaust the other Knaaren to the point where they can no longer fight in order to claim the title of champion using those powers.

In theory, it can also be said that the power of the Leptys creates a weakness. God powers must take a lot of energy to channel no matter what sort of creature you are. So, in theory, Reflux was burning the candle at both ends, pridefully striking down challengers and assuming that he would never be defeated with how much power he has come to earn. He becomes a monster in his thirst for revenge at the end of the game, which ultimately kills him. What this implies about the Leptys is vague, but it certainly has something to do with the deity.

Now, this is my favorite part. Reflux is actually the only character Rayman has ever done wrong. I'd say he's the only one Rayman ever killed, but uh, depends on your view of canon, so I'll be focusing on what is undeniable. Rayman blasts into the desert without warning, and granted it's to save his friend, but he ruins Reflux's life in doing so. He had no choice but to become the champion and shame his opponent. Reflux made his entire identity on being champion, and eagerly accepts when André promises the ability to claim revenge. Rayman was just supposed to be a fun exercise for him, and now Reflux finds himself outcast due to an outsider who doesn't even want to be champion. It's the fault of his pride, but it is still a way that Rayman has made someone's life worse.

It's also interesting to think of them as cultural opposites. Rayman comes from a lovely dream world, and Reflux comes from a hellish nightmare that he had to claw his way to the top. Rayman was born a hero, and Reflux had to earn it. Ubisoft really shot themselves in the foot by not expanding on that, I think. They could have really made something out of the contrast of dreams and nightmares.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk. If you read this far, please stan Reflux.