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tails89 · 3 years ago

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Are you still taking prompts? I was thinking about a 5+1 Buddie or a domestic. Thank you so much 🏵️

Thanks for the ask! I went with domestic for this one 😄

Send me a bingo prompt

You can also read this on AO3

~~~

“Hey kiddo.” Eddie holds the door open while Chris climbs up into the car. “How was school?”

“It was good.” Chris settles in his seat and waits for his dad to climb in behind the steering wheel. “We all got seeds in science. We planted them to see how they grow. I can’t wait to see what my plants are.”

He goes quiet, and when Eddie glances up at the rear-view mirror he can see Chris's reflection, staring out the window, deep in thought.

“Hey, dad?”

“Yeah buddy?”

“Do you think we could have a garden at home?”

Eddie pulls a face remembering the plant Pepa had given him as a house warming gift when they first moved to LA. She’d called it low-maintenance, insisting that even Eddie couldn’t kill it but by the time he’d finished unpacking the plant had been black and crumbling.

“Dad?”

“I don’t have much of a green thumb,” he admits.

“Oh, yeah.” Chris frowns. “You kill everything.”

“Hey, not everything!”

Chris gives a little sigh and goes back to staring out his window.

“Oh.” He brightens, straightening in his seat. “Maybe Buck can help us.”

“You’ll have to ask him,” Eddie says. Knowing Buck, the answer will be a resounding yes. It seems he’ll take any excuse to come over and hang out with Chris, which works for Eddie because he’ll use any excuse to invite Buck over.

It’s almost embarrassing, to be crushing on someone this hard. Eddie’s an adult, not some lovesick teenager. He shouldn’t be getting butterflies at the thought of seeing Buck.

“Can we ring him when we get home?” Chris asks.

“Buck’s working kiddo, but I’ll send him a text and see if he’s free on the weekend.”

Buck is so completely in, because of course he is and Eddie falls just a little bit more in love with him.

Eddie is woken early on Saturday morning by the sounds of movement in the house and the loud beep of the coffee maker. He pads out to the kitchen to find Buck, pulling things from cupboards to make breakfast.

“I gave you a key for emergencies, Buck.”

“Your cooking is an emergency,” Buck calls back to him moving to the fridge and peering inside. “You have eggs, right?” His head disappears behind the door. “Found ‘em.”

Eddie leans against the doorframe and watches Buck move around the kitchen with ease. He doesn’t need to ask where everything is kept having spent enough time in there already.

He stands with his back to the doorway, cracking eggs into a bowl. Eddie wants to go to him, to wrap his arms around his waist and hook his chin over Buck’s shoulder.

He shakes off the mental image and steps into the room.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Buck turns to look at him, rolling his eyes and fixing Eddie with a fond smile. “I’m making breakfast.”

Eddie has nothing to say to that. He’s certainly not going to try and argue when the alternative to Buck making breakfast is whatever cereal he can find in the cupboard.

He makes a vague ‘go ahead’ motion with his hand and sets about making coffee for them both, sliding one mug along the counter towards Buck before taking a seat at the table.

“Buck!” Chris appears in the doorway, one hand on the wall for balance. “What are you doing here?” He rushes up to Buck, wrapping his arms around the firefighter.

Eddie hides a snort behind his coffee mug at Buck’s over the top pout. “Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten.”

“Oh, the garden!” Chris’s face lights up in joy. “You’re still going to help right?”

“Of course I am,” Buck reassures him. “Our garden is going to be amazing. You just need to promise not to let your dad touch it.”

“Because it will die?”

Buck nods sagely. “Because it will die.”

“Hey.” Eddie reaches with his foot to poke Buck in the leg. “What is this? Roast Eddie day?”

“Are you going to deny it?” Buck asks, whipping back around to face Eddie. There’s an easy grin on his face and he’s laughing as he shoos Chris away from the stove top. It makes Eddie feel giddy with affection and he has to look away before he’s caught staring at Buck’s lips.

After breakfast Buck takes Chris outside. They stand side-by-side on the barren back lawn to check out what they’re working with.

Eddie watches shamelessly from the kitchen while he washes up. There’s something about the easy way Buck interacts with Chris that makes his heart pound in his chest. With the window open he can hear them both talking as they make their plans.

“What are you thinking, boss?” Buck has his phone out, tapping away as Chris makes suggestions.

“We should have a vegetable garden next to the house,” Chris says, pointing.

“Vegetable garden?” Buck teases. “Since when do you eat your vegetables?”

“I like some vegetables,” Chris argues.

“Yeah, like what?”

“Carrots—”

“That’s one.”

“And tomatoes.”

“Okay.” Buck taps his phone against his leg, brow knit in thought. “Oh, what about strawberries?”

Chris nods. “I like those.”

“It’s a start,” Buck tells him, writing it down. He glances up, meeting Eddie’s gaze through the window. “You want to come to the hardware store with us?”

“What for?” Eddie asks, opening the window fully.

“Well, do you own a shovel?” Buck asks. “And we’ll need a hose or watering can, soil--"

“There’s plenty of dirt out there,” Eddie says, waving his arm vaguely.

Buck laughs. “And that right there is why Chris is in charge of the garden,” he says. He ducks down to whisper something to Chris. Eddie doesn’t hear it but, judging from the smothered giggles, that’s probably for the best.

“Sure, I’ll come,” Eddie tells them, thinking at least if he goes with them, they can’t tease him behind his back.

They tease him to his face, loudly and with no remorse.

Eddie doesn’t mind. Their excitement is infectious and he can’t help getting swept up in it.

They leave the store with more tools than Eddie knows what to do with. He wouldn’t even know the names of half the things that end up in their cart, let alone what they’re used for. Still, Chris and Buck seem happy with their purchases and that’s enough for Eddie.

He leaves them to it once they get back to the house. It’s been made very clear that his help is not needed and Eddie has enough to do inside.

The life of a single parent means there are always chores to do around the house, but then Eddie will hear a laugh—Chris or Buck—and his attention will be pulled back out to the yard.

Eddie holds out for another hour before giving up the pretence of being busy inside. The day is warming up, so he stops by the kitchen to grab Chris's water bottle and fills another for Buck before heading out.

“How’s everything going out here?” He hands Chris his water and tosses the other bottle to Buck. “No ones chopped off any important body parts?”

“We’re making good progress, right Chris?” Buck takes a long drink. He caps the water bottle, dropping it in the grass. “Hopefully we’re done before it gets too hot.”

In one quick movement, Buck pulls his shirt up over his head, using it to wipe the sweat from his face before letting it drop to the ground.

Eddie should look away, should look anywhere other than at Buck. But with that one simple action Eddie has lost all capacity for rational thought.

“Uh...” He manages to tear his gaze away, but doesn’t miss the knowing smirk that tugs on Buck’s lips. He files that observation away to overthink about later. “You’re not overworking Buck are you?” He asks Chris, latching onto his son for a distraction.

“No.” Chris digs holes in the fresh dark soil. “Buck dug up the grass but I helped spread out the dirt and he said I could decide where the plants go.”

“Oh, so Buck is overworking you then?”

Chris grins and continues digging.

“I guess I’ll leave you both to it then,” Eddie tells them, but he doesn’t head back inside. It’s a nice day, and even if they don’t want his help Eddie is content to sit on the sideline and watch while Chris carefully decides where to put each plant they bought.

They spend most of the day outside, pausing only to eat lunch.

When they’re done, Eddie sends Chris to have a bath and then offers Buck the use of the shower. While the water is running, Eddie looks through his closet for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that will fit Buck, leaving them outside the bathroom.

Once everyone is clean, Eddie orders pizza. It’s not quite dinner time, but he can see Chris probably isn’t going to last much longer.

He’s guesses correctly. Chris crashes out on the couch halfway through the movie he picked to watch while eating. There’s still a slice of pizza on his plate.

“I think you broke him,” Eddie teases. He pokes Chris gently on the arm but his kid doesn’t even stir. “You completely wore him out.”

“More like he wore me out.” Buck blinks sleepily across at Eddie. “This gardening business is hard work.”

“You can crash here if you want,” Eddie offers. “You can drive home in the morning when you’re not so tired.”

“Mm, thanks,” Buck mumbles around a yawn.

Standing, Eddie scoops Chris up into his arms. The boy is all limbs and he realises with a start that soon his kid is going to be too big for this.

“Give me a minute to put Chris to bed, and I’ll grab you a blanket from my room.”

Buck doesn’t say anything. His eyes are closed, his head tipped forward, chin propped on his hand.

Eddie quickly tucks Chris into bed then goes to his room, rifling around for the blanket Buck usually borrows when he stays the night.

Buck hasn’t moved from his spot when Eddie returns to the living room. He lingers in the doorway, his eyes drawn to Buck’s sleep rumpled hair then down to the sliver of skin revealed where his shirt is riding up.

“I can feel you staring.”

Eddie flinches in surprise.

“Sorry,” he mutters, moving over to the couch to hand Buck the blanket.

“’s okay.” A sleepy smile pulls at Buck’s lips. “You do it a lot.”

That stops Eddie in his tracks.

“You, uh, noticed that, did you?”

The smile pulls wider. “I always notice you Eddie.”

Eddie’s mouth goes dry. “You do?”

Buck opens his eyes, his gaze fixing on Eddie’s with an intensity that steals Eddies breath.

“Always.”

Eddie licks his lips, trying to draw some moisture back into his mouth. His heart pounds at the idea of what he’s about to say.

“You know, my bed is much more comfortable than the couch.” He offers Buck his hand to pull him to his feet. “Just sleep,” he adds quickly. “But maybe in the morning we could talk about... more...”

Buck nods slowly, more awake now. “I’d like that,” he says. “More. If that’s what you want?” He accepts Eddie’s hand, rising from the couch.

“I want everything with you.”

#911 #buddie #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #911 bingo #911 fanfic #my911fanfic

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johnkrrasinski · 4 years ago

Text

Dear Lover... ❥

full masterlist

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word count: 5,689

Warning: pure fluff. pure feelings. a little bit of angst but with a happy ending 😌

Summary: you dance with bucky barnes in the obscurity of your room as you recalled the first time you met and how three years later you ended up tangled in each other’s arms. (based on the song “lover” by taylor swift)

a/n: this one’s a love letter to the love of my life aka bucky barnes. it took me awhile to find the will to write about him because i truly wanna write something that gives him justice, because this man deserves nothing but happiness and love. hope you like it. please leave a like & comment.

It was a quiet Thursday evening, precisely at 8.35 PM. The rain outside of the Avengers tower was pouring, splatters of misty droplets bedewed the window glass. Through the lens of your shared room, transpierced the lights of the bustling city of New York. The city that never sleeps, as one would say. You could hear the sound of honking cars and sirens going off somewhere and it truly eased your mind.

You loved New York. You were born and raised in this vivacious city. Though your parents took the chance to move to Manhattan and fought to survive the exorbitant living cost, they managed. They taught you to fight hard and work tenaciously if you wanted to make it. The city was all you knew your entire life. But most importantly, you loved the man you were sharing this bedroom with more.

You had been dating Bucky Barnes, aka the former Winter Soldier, aka the White Wolf, for three summers now. Your first encounter with him wasn’t exactly the most romantic “how I met your mother” kind of story.

You were in the kitchen, late night, trying to make yourself a nice hot chocolate to cool down your nerves. Moving into the Avengers Tower had truly wearied you. Of course, you were aware that you weren’t supposed to be since there were literally a super soldier, a former Pararescueman, a man with a highly advanced iron suit, two highly trained assassins, a powerful witch, a (part-time) green beast, and an actual living human android helping you with your belongings. You couldn’t have asked for better movers.

But the adaptation of change still drained some of your energy. Maybe more mentally than physically, but whatever, you just needed a nice, sweet warm drink before you can finally sleep in your fresh, new, never used before bed. It was nearing four am and everyone had returned to their private quarters, except you.

You walked into the kitchen leisurely in nothing but your Bambi pyjamas, as you reached for the kitchen cabinet to search for a jar of instant hot chocolate. “Make yourself at home,” Tony said earlier as he was giving you a quick tour around the tower. The tower was so spacious and palatial, it was easy to get lost. “We’ve got everything here; food, snacks, coffee, tea, hot chocolate, ice creams and more… But don’t eat the half-eaten fried egg chicken on the fridge, though. That one belongs to Clint and he wouldn’t hesitate in shooting an arrow through your skull if you stole it.”

You poured the hot water into the glass and then you were ready to drink it up. You were so pleased by the taste of hot chocolate streaming through your tongue, you didn’t hear the faint sounds of footsteps approaching. Bucky had just returned from a solo mission to Brussels and he hadn’t had the chance to properly introduce himself to you. He had only heard about you through Fury and Tony’s narrative when they informed the team that they were going to have a new addition to the team.

Steve had texted him a picture of her earlier, picking up her boxes to her new bedroom… She looked lovely. She was only wearing a simple white shirt with high-waisted, ripped blue jeans to complete the casual look but, she didn’t have to try hard to catch his eye. He couldn’t wait to go back to the tower and talk to her. He crossed his finger hoping that he wouldn’t mess it up or embarrassingly stutter his own name whilst shaking her hand.

Bucky soundlessly walked towards you as he placed a hand on your shoulder, trying not to startle you but you weren’t expecting anyone to be awake, and you didn’t know that Bucky was supposed to return today. Your brain had been so occupied with moving in, that you forgot there was one member of the team missing because he was on a solo mission and that he was supposed to return in the early morning.

So you accidentally dropped your glass, spilling your little taste of heaven all over the counter, as you turned around and punched him on the face. You shrieked as soon as you felt a palm touching your shoulder, thinking it might’ve been a ghost or worse, an intruder. For a second there, you nearly forgot that you weren’t living all by yourself in a tiny apartment anymore. You were in the most highly secured building in New York, surrounded by vigilant superheroes that had fought bigger guys than a callow thief or more lethal than supernatural forces.

Bucky’s hand immediately went to his face, as he shrieked in pain. He absolutely didn’t expect a punch from you, considering he meant well. He slightly backed away on his feet, clutching the nose that had bled due to the robust force. You soon realized that he was Bucky Barnes, the Avenger that had just gone back from a solo mission Steve told you about, and you had just realized that you punched… The Winter Soldier. Oh my God. Your guilt rushes through your gut and you immediately covered your mouth with your hand in panic.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was still awake, I’m so sorry.” You reached out to his hand, trying to see the damage that you did.

“No, it’s okay, doll. I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that, I’m sorry.” He wiped the blood that leaked out his nose.

“No, no, no, it wasn’t your fault at all, I shouldn’t have reacted like that… Please, let me help you with that.”

“I got it doll, really. It’s nothing.”

“I insist. Please, otherwise I’d feel really bad.”

You moved to the couch in the common room, as you began patching him up. You both finally introduced yourselves properly this time, and you talked for about an hour until the sun was starting to rise. When you realized how late it had gotten and how exhausted Bucky must’ve been, only then, you returned to your individual bedrooms. And thus, a friendship was born. The beginning of something eternal and profound.

The next morning, things changed. Bucky would act differently around you whenever the team was around. Or anyone, at all, was around. Bucky would often avoid your eyes and act awkwardly around you. You didn’t see the man that you had a warm conversation with at 4 in the morning on that first day anymore. You felt like talking to a stranger that you had to walk on eggshells with. When Steve asked Bucky whether he had met you or not during breakfast, Bucky with his head down simply responded, “yeah… We’ve met.” That elicited a furrowed brows from you.

Steve later counselled you about it, “don’t worry. He’s like that with everyone. It’s not easy to start a small talk when you are the former winter soldier.”

You tried to tell yourself not to overthink it or take it personally. Of course, you were aware of the history. It was told in every history class. But you still couldn’t shake the need to get to know him more. You’d do it deliberately, you weren’t going to force him to break out of his shell, but you wanted to let him know that he had nothing to be ashamed of with you.

And so, you would often knock on his bedroom door since your bedrooms were on the same floor when you brought something from your favourite bakery shop. Or when you hear the excruciating screams at night, because he couldn’t tame down the demons in his sleep, reminding him of his inevitable, vicious past that spilled a lot of blood and caused him a lot of pain. Mentally, emotionally and physically.

At first, he would give you a sardonic look as he asked you of why you were here. You’d tell him that you thought he could use a company and so, the friendship, or whatever that you had with him would bloom through the murmured secrets and the late-night rendevous. It turned into a nightly thing that only you and Bucky shared. Nobody else had to know.

During the day, there were a lot of stolen glances and lingering tension in the room, everyone could sense it except you and Bucky yourselves. But yet, you didn’t speak many words about it to each other. Everyone who saw you two knew that you two hid some amount of feelings for each other. But yet, neither of you dared to make the first move.

Sam, Wanda and Nat were your closest friends and therefore, they knew the most about your unspoken feelings for Bucky. Starting from the awkward chats to the time where this new agent shamelessly flirted with Bucky in front of you. Of course, you were aware that anyone could flirt with Bucky, he wasn’t yours, to begin with. But it was still rude and disrespectful and you being the irrational, jealous person that you were, you’d often ramble to either Sam, Wanda or Nat in their private quarters until you felt better again.

One night, where this agent, Samantha or whatever her name was, had boldly touched Bucky’s arm at one of Tony’s flamboyant parties, in front of you, you immediately texted Sam, Wanda and Nat in the group text called “Besties” to gather up in your room because you needed to vent.

“Look, y/n, if you’re so annoyed by her flirting, then why don’t you just tell Bucky how you feel?” Wanda said.

“I don’t understand…” You squinted your eyes at her. It’s not like you didn’t actually understand what she was saying, but the concept of confessing your feelings to Bucky sounded like an absurd idea.

“Look, I’m just saying, what’s the worse that could happen?”

“Okay, Wanda, now you’re just talking shit.”

“Y/N” Sam interposed. “He might like you too. He may not say much but we all caught those stolen glances, don’t you think we didn’t see it.”

“You don’t know that for sure, Sam. Besides, it’s not just about him not liking me back… What if he’s just not ready to date? What if he likes me but not in that way? There are a million things that could go wrong. So, please, let’s cross out the idea of telling him how I feel because it’s definitely not happening.”

Sam, Wanda and Nat exchanged a look. “Okay, it’s your life anyway. But y/n, if you don’t move now, then you might lose your chance forever. Samanta could be seducing him into her bed right now as you are rambling about her to us.” Natasha closed it.

Her words had truly struck you light lightning. You never thought of it that way… You always thought you had every second in the clock, just waiting for you to be ready. Or him to be ready. But you never thought of the possibility of Bucky and Samantha actually going on a date… What if she had asked him to go out with her next weekend? And what if he had said yes? The thought hurt. It crushed your heart like a shredder. It twisted you inside out like a sickness.

And so, after Sam, Nat and Wanda returned to the party, you stayed in your room. You told them that you’d catch up, you just needed to rest your feet from standing in heels for too long. You were lying. You needed some time alone with your thoughts, as you were trying to plan your next move. You recalled all those late-night rendevous and midnight conversations, and you felt it in your heart. That mighty urge in your heart. Like the entire crowd you were standing before are chanting the words loudly to you. “Tell him! Tell him! Tell him!”

You felt all the feelings you contained inside for him rushed through your veins, like a power surging through your cells, bestowing you the courage to stand on your feet, put on your heels and reapplied your lipstick. You straightened the frowns of your dress in front of the mirror as you took a deep breath. “You got this.” You stared your reflection dead in the eye and convinced yourself.

When you were satisfied with your fixed appearance, you immediately went back to the party. You couldn’t wait to find him. Giddiness, nervousness, and anxiety were swirling in your chest. You ordered Friday to take you to the lobby, where the party was held, as you leaned back on the glass wall of the elevator and you folded your arms around you, trying to ground yourself. You tried to stand steadily and not face-plant yourself on the marble floor in front of Bucky. You would never be able to live with yourself.

When the elevator finally reached the main lobby, the metal doors separated, showing you the people in fancy suits and dresses chattering with one another, with a glass of sparkling Champagne in their hands. You immediately searched for Bucky. A slick black, long dark hair, clad in a black dress shirt and black pants. Your eyes gazed into every corner of the room, focusing thoroughly on the large chunk of a man.

You finally spotted him by the bar. He was sitting with a glass of tonic and gin in his hand, as he took a sip of it, then he put it down on the bar counter. It would’ve been a tantalizing sight that you’d love to sit back and observe if it weren’t for the person sitting next to him. Samantha was sitting with her legs crossed beside him, her body was fully faced to Bucky as she tried to reach out to feel his bicep again for God knows how many times that night. She was laughing and even from the distance, you could see the glint in her eyes at something he just said.

You felt like you had been hit by a truck. The butterflies in your stomach turned into a monster that was devouring your insides with its tapered fangs. You felt dizzy as you felt like you were going to drop on the floor if you don’t hold onto something. Steve happened to be walking past you thankfully and as soon as he saw you looking unwell, he immediately grabbed your arm, awakening you from your daze.

“Y/N, are you alright? You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine, Steve... I’m…” You cleared your throat, trying to pull yourself back into consciousness. “I think I need to lay down. I’ll see you in the morning, Steve. Please tell Tony that I’m not feeling well.”

“Alright, yeah, go ahead. I’ll inform the team if they ask about you.”

“Thanks, Steve.” You nearly stumbled on your feet as soon as you took your first step.

“Whoa, do you need me to walk you to your room?”

“No, it’s fine. I got it. Night, Steve.”

“Goodnight, y/n.” He watched you warily, feeling hesitant whether he should really let you walk to your floor alone or not. As soon as you went inside the elevator, and the mental doors had closed, you slumped on the wall as you tried to muffle your cries. Nothing could hurt you more than seeing the man that you were secretly in love with, flirting with another girl. You couldn’t find it in you to give directions to Friday. So you just stood there, listening to the Jazz music playing in the background.

Until you were finally wearied enough to say the word to Friday. The AI politely responded, “yes, miss.”

As soon as you reached your floor, you took off your heels as they swayed with every step that you took. Your cheeks were tainted by ruined mascara, and your hair was slightly dishevelled. You couldn’t care any less. You should be dancing to the slow music or even kissing him drunkenly at the bar with your hands wrapped around his neck right now. But no, he was probably doing those with Samantha. You knew you were being unreasonable, crying over a man who was never yours, to begin with. But you allowed yourself to feel the pain and then, you can figure out a way to move on. You just needed to unleash it all out first.

You put your heels in the corner of your bedroom and stripped yourself out of the white cocktail dress. You immediately ran for the shower, your limbs felt more ponderous than ever. The last time you experienced a broken heart was in eleventh grade when you ran into your senior crush, Peyton at the mall with a girl who didn’t go to the same school as you, in his arm. You nearly walked up to him to say hi but your plan was instantly crushed before you even found the courage to talk to him.

Ever since then, you made a pact with your heart that you were never going to fall in love first ever again. You were okay with being single, you weren’t the kind of person who constantly needs romantic love. You focused on self-growth, you focused on your skills which is martial arts and military tactics. You invested your mind and energy into self-love, friendship and your education.

When you were finally ready to roam around the city at night as a vigilante, you’d sneak off every night to sit building rooftops and you looked after the small guys around the neighbourhood. Until your small vigilante works were heard and Fury snuck into your apartment to recruit you himself.

After your shower, you changed into an oversized grey hoodie that you once stole from Bucky’s closet, one night while having one of those clandestine rendezvous in his room. You were cold and you were only wearing a thin-layered white shirt with a worn-out pair of old swimming shorts that still fitted you.

“Here, wear my hoodie.” He walked to his achromatic closet and revealed the tidily-placed pile of black and white shirts and pants. He didn't have that many clothes but, it was enough to secure his enormous figure cosily. He pulled out one of his fresh from the laundry sweatshirts from the heap. He handed them to you and inserted yourself into the aromatic material.

When you were both finally too somnolent to keep your eyes wide open. He walked you to your room and you didn’t realize you were still wearing his hoodie until you said your final goodnight. When you tried to take it off your body, he said, “no, it’s alright. You can return it to me in the morning.”

But you never did. And he was okay with that. At least you thought. Because never once he asked for it back. You’d even catch his demure smile when he saw you wearing it.

You did your nighttime skincare routine and went to bed. The scent of his hoodie was faint but enough to make you yearn for him. It’s ridiculous, really. To miss someone who was never yours, and someone who practically lived right next to you, considering how long he could spend hiding in his own room.

You felt the tears brimming in your eyes as they ran down your cheeks and soaked your pillow sheets. You sniffled as your mind harked back to the shared moments in the gloom and the timid touches when words could no longer bear the intimacy. The moon knows more about you and him than anyone ever will and if you could no longer feel his skin against your anymore even for just a second, you were going to hold onto the memories.

You were lost pacing down the memory lane until you heard a subtle knock on the door. Three taps and you instantly knew who was standing on the other side. You tried to neglect it, hoping that he would get the message of leaving you alone. You weren’t ready to face or talk to him. But he wouldn’t relent. He knocked once more, telling you that he wasn’t leaving until you answered him.

You stayed in the exact same spot until you were peevish enough to keep listening to it. You finally stood on your feet and opened the door with a sour look on your face. He greeted you with a nonchalant smile, his hair now was tied in a low bun.

“Hey, Steve told me that you weren’t feeling well, what happened?” His expression was filled with concern.

“I’m fine, now. You can go.” You sneered. You tried to shut the door, not even wanting to face him any longer or listen to his unprompted “I got a date!” story.

He was appalled by your anomalous behaviour, as he immediately stopped the door with his hand from being slammed on his face. “Hey, hold on a second. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I said, I’m fine, Bucky. Just leave me alone, please.”

His chest tightened at your sardonic words. You had never acted this way around him before. Did he say something wrong? Did he wake you at the wrong time? Were you on your cycle? He was bewildered.

“I just wanna know if you were alright. Steve said you looked really pale at the party and you had to leave early and if you are then maybe I could bring you a soup or something.”

“I just need to be alone, Bucky. Alright? I was feeling much better until you showed up.” You didn’t mean to be so spiteful and blunt. You just needed some space. And his presence was intoxicating and the longer you see him, the harder it would be for you to let go.

Bucky didn’t respond immediately but the look on his eyes was enough to beckon his hurt. “What did I do? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, Bucky, it’s not you, it’s just-” You inhaled. Trying to cool yourself down before you continued. “Just not tonight, alright?”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.” He puffed himself up, masking his frustration. No, no, he wasn’t ready to let you go before he could even tell you he loved you. So if planting himself on his feet would make you enlighten him, he was going to do that.

“Okay, then just fucking stand there all night, I don’t care.” The cool in you vanished, turned into a small flame of counterwork.

“Why are you acting like this? Huh? You can’t just knock on my door whenever you feel like and shut me out like this.”

“Well, why don’t you just vent to your new girlfriend, then? I’m pretty sure she’ll be more than happy to listen to your ramblings all night.” You stormed into the room, trying to slam the door behind you but Bucky stopped it as he followed you inside. It wouldn’t be wise to keep this argument in the hall where the whole tower could hear you.

“What? What the hell are you talking about? I don’t have a girlfriend!”

“Oh, of course, Bucky. As if you hadn’t practically just gone on your first date with her at the party.”

“You’re being ridiculous, y/n! We were just talking.”

“Bullshit! Like no one could see the bedroom eyes she was giving you. She was practically fucking your brains out at the bar. Oh and not to mention, how she was groping your biceps like you were the only two people in the room!”

“What is this? Jealousy?”

“No! Stop flattering yourself, Bucky.”

“Okay, so what is it? I can’t fix whatever this is…” His fingers motioned to the invisible string binding the two of you. Who are you kidding? You both knew there was something more than a platonic bond between the two of you, you were just too dastardly to admit it with words to one another. “…If you don’t tell me the truth.”

Deep down, you knew the jealousy was senseless but in the heat of the dispute, you couldn’t stop your mouth from conveying the words out loud.

“Because I like you and I don’t want you to be with anyone but me, okay? There. I said it. Are you happy now? I like you and I know I’m being unreasonable, but I don’t like the thought of you being with someone who’s not me.”

Bucky was aghasted by your vehement declaration. Did he get it right? Did you really just tell him the words that he had always wanted to hear? The words that nearly escaped his lips more times than he could count, but never found the courage because he thought he wasn’t good enough for you? Was he dreaming? This felt surreal.

“You… You like me?”

You scoffed. “Yeah. I do, Bucky. Unfortunately. But now, I understand if you wanna go out with Samantha or if you never speak a word to me again, I get it. But at least you know that I li-”

He abruptly grabbed your face and pressed a brief kiss on your lips, taking your breath away like a typhoon. It was short-lived but enough to knock you off your feet. He retreated and gazed deeply into your eyes, hoping that you could see the suppressed emotions you made him feel whenever he was with you. He wasn’t a man of many words, after all, but after spending months of excavating each other’s secrecies, you got the message. Words were futile, anyway, when the feelings that you had were stronger than anything else you had ever felt.

“I like you too, y/n. So much.”

“You do?”

He nodded, a grin spread across his face, making his eyes gleam in the obscurity of your room.

“What about Samantha?”

“Sweetheart, I never had any feelings for her. She can flirt with me all she wants, but you gotta know that I only have eyes for you, darling. And there’s no one else I wanna be with other than you.”

“You mean that?” Your smile had made its way back to your face. The smile that only Bucky could evoke. Your eyes were twinkling with hope.

“Every word.”

And that’s you ended up here now, three years later, sharing a reposeful room with the love of your life. You had just returned from a late sparing session with Natasha in the training room. Crazy, how three years ago, you’d incessantly ramble about the same person and the same topic, which is Bucky’s cluelessness whilst running on the treadmill with her but now, you talked about various random things like two normal friends would. As if the issue that you had with Bucky had been resolved. All’s well that ends well.

You spotted your boyfriend, who had a much shorter hair now, sitting contently on the bed with a Sci-Fi novel in his hands. His long fingers sophisticatedly enveloped the cover as he thoroughly focused on the words on the pages but, it was quickly disrupted when you walked into the room, greeting him with a smile. “Hey, baby. What are you reading?”

“This sci-fi novel that Sam got me for my birthday but I didn’t pick it up until now. How was the training, sweetheart?”

“The usual. Nat, being the competitive little shit that she is, kicked my ass but I got her back at least. Twice.” You had showered in the gym bathroom before you went upstairs to see your boyfriend so you didn’t have to bother concealing your musty scent due to the sweat.

“That’s my girl.” He got on his feet and walked towards you, as he looked at you with so much admiration and love in his eyes, it overwhelms you sometimes. The way he’d hold you whilst being starstruck by every feature on your face, and the way he’d tell you he loved you, with so many sincerity behind the words, even after three years of being together. You were lucky. You both were. To find a home within each other.

He kissed you deeply like he hadn’t had the pleasure to see you in three months even if you had only been gone for an hour. His lips enthralled you every time and he wouldn’t mind giving you the solace as much as you desired. He needed it more from you, anyway.

When your lips were apart, he pressed his forehead to yours. The vague light from the table lamp beside your bed illuminated the room along with the dimmed city lights, casting a dainty glow on the two of you. Like a spotlight on a stage, and you were the star-crossed lovers of the tale, illustrating a true story of unbreakable love.

“Dance with me.” Bucky said.

“Well, then, I shall put on the perfect song, sir.”

You ordered Friday to play the song “Lover” by Taylor Swift, as the first hits of the drum immediately moved your bodies against each other, his hand seized yours as you tucked your head under his chin. His other arm wrapped itself around your waist, holding you as close as possible like it was your last dance. But certainly not. This was merely one in a thousand dances to come.

We could leave the Christmas lights, up ‘till January

This is our place, we make the rules

You swayed to the nostalgic song playing in the background, echoing the words of love all around the room. Like you were the only lovers on the grand dancefloor, as the singer harmonises only for you.

And there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

You leaned your head on his chest, his slow heartbeat thumps in your ear. The beat grounds you like gravity, reminding you of how the term ‘home’ isn’t only a structure with four walls and a ceiling, but rather, a figure with serum-injected blood coursing through his veins, an injured skin layering all the organs, fashioning one magnetic force of a man.

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close?

Forever and ever

His gentle hand rubbed your back, as his feet swung with the tune. He was a man out of his time. Despite being alive in the modern world long enough now, he was still taking baby steps in adapting to the culture and that includes music. Back then, this wasn’t exactly the kind of music he’d ask a girl to dance along to, but he learned to appreciate your musical preference and slowly, he grew fond of them too.

And ah, take me out and take me home

You’re my, my, my, my lover

Because the lyrics had truly hit close to home. If someone had delivered him a mail during his Winter Soldier years, that he was going to find a beautiful, loving woman who willingly took his hand; scars and all. Despite the demons in his mind and the ghosts in his past, she was going to love him faithfully and she would offer her own hand to guide him through the path of daylight… He’d laugh on their faces and told them to piss off because they were wasting his time by speaking baloney.

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

But he was wrong. You walked into his life and gratefully punched his face on that night and he will forever thank the lucky stars for that. Because what he didn’t have a single clue of was that, it was the beginning of something tangible and something that became his religion. Something that became his lifeline. Despite still dealing with his own demons that he wasn’t sure whether they will ever truly leave him or not, he was a happy man. He didn’t think it was possible to say that. He was a happy man, in love. And it sounds strange to accept that as the truth but, it was what it was.

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

He twirled you around gently. Careful not to trip you. He caught you in his arms as you bent your body with peremptory trust, his handsome face never failed to mesmerize you.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

You swayed on your feet once more, but really, you were just spending time, embracing the security in each other’s arms. You don’t care about the past heartbreaks or the haunting memories. You are not even stressing out to think about what tomorrow promises, you simply wanted to live every second of this moment with him.

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my lover

But whatever the future plans for you, you knew there would be no hurricane violent enough to shake your ground as long as you had Bucky by your side.

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

You were going to hold onto him through the agonizing mornings or vicious nights. You were going to hold onto him through Spring until the first drop of snow starts to cover the ground in white again. You were going to hold onto him through the Christmas Eves and New Years. Whether it be when you’re sharing a midnight kiss or when you’re hungover for all the drinks from last night.

You took a vow that no matter what happened, there would be no more unspoken words that would be an emotional barrier between the two of you. You only wanted to have eyes for him because everything fades into the background and the stars align when your bodies were intertwined, unable to tell where you began and he ended.

You’re permanently stuck with each other and that’s all you ever really wanted.

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fallingfor-fics · 4 years ago

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Teachers Pet-chapter 19: the universe

All chapters

chapter 18

Nothing crazy happened in DADA today and I was heading to potions with Draco, we were going over the properties of Amortentia in hopes to brew it perfectly with no mishaps. I was also a bit worried, I was aware that the way it smells is different for each person, and I was afraid to find out what mine smelt like. We walked into class and took our seats, still quizzing each other on each step.

The bell rang and everyone was seated waiting for instructions. "Open your books to page 324 and begin prepping your tables as usual, all the ingredients are here and you know where your supplies are, get started and let me know if you have any questions, please do not make me have to take my time to clean up any messes." he said coldly and sat back down in his chair. I went up and got the cauldron and our ingredients. "Ok Y/n would you like to do the honors and I'll stir it this time?" Draco asked smiling "If you really trust me then yes" I said laughing, I worked on this for so long with Snape so I should be able to do it perfectly! I just needed to focus and not overthink it, it was a simple potion and if Draco can do it, so can I. I added peppermint flowers and leaves, powdered moonstone, and Draco stirred between each teaspoon, I then sprinkled in the rose thorns and placed in the Ashwinder eggs. Draco watched closely as I did so making sure I was getting everything correct. After letting it sit we uncovered it and stirred it counterclockwise and it took on its pearl sheen. I smiled wide and refrained from jumping up and down. "Hell yes" I whispered to Draco "We did it!" he said high fiving me. I looked up at Snape and we made eye contact. I motioned to the cauldron and smiled, to which he returned with a very small faint one and turned back to his work. I felt butterflies again and a sense of joy that I succeeded for him again.

"Ok now take a whiff Y/n'' Draco said, "What? no you first" I said afraid of what may happen. "Ok ok fine." he leaned over and took in a light sniff, I looked at him expectantly, "Well?" I questioned looking at him thinking of what it smelt like "Hmm it smells sweet like warm cookies and pumpkin juice" he said with a confused look, "ha you know who likes pumpkin juice?" I said teasing, "Who?" he questioned seriously trying to figure out who it was, "Harry" I said smiling. "Oh buzz off Y/n It certainly does not smell like Potter, that's absolutely revolting" he said a little too defensive, I shrugged my shoulders and giggled, "Your turn! Better hope it doesn't smell like Filch!" he said trying to tease me like I did him, I cringed at the idea and leaned over the cauldron I took a deep breath preparing myself, I closed my eyes and took in a small whiff, "Well what do you smell?" Draco said, waiting. I opened my eyes and took it in, "Um, just pine trees and rain" I said lying, I took another whiff and the scent of old leather shoes, parchment, and firewhiskey filled my nose, I closed my eyes once more taking it in and letting it linger, "I'm gonna use the restroom" I said to Draco, walking past Snape not bothering to ask and exiting the class, I quickly walked outside, shaking hands and began to take deep breaths, counting to ten and doing everything in my power to keep the tears that brimmed at the edges of my eyes in. I can't. I couldn't deal with this right now, none of this made any sense. A hot tear ran down my cheek and I quickly swiped it away. No not right now, not here. I closed my eyes shut and the smell lingered in my brain. How could this be possible? I leaned over my hands on my face, trying to slow my heart back down. How could it smell like him?

"Mr. Malfoy where did Ms. L/n just run off too?" Snape asked, noticing she darted from the room. "She said she had to use the restroom, I'm guessing it was an emergency." Draco stated. "Yes, well pour the potion into a vial and get to cleaning up" he ordered the boy and walked out of his room.

I looked to the sky again wanting to scream at the universe. Of all the people in the world. There had to be something wrong with the potions? Or my nose? There's no possible way this was real? I mean there's no way he's- I began crying at the thought that the one person for me was the one person I couldnt have. "This was just supposed to be some silly little crush and now I've just found out my whole future" I sighed to myself. I refuse to believe it, I must have it mistaken, I mean lots of people probably smell like this, its very popular scents. I thought as I wiped my tears, the pressure was getting to me and I couldn't help it. There was a light mist falling and my hair grew a tad frizzy and my skin damp. "Ms. L/n what's going on?" I stood up straight at the sound of his voice. No. why is he out here what's he doing? "Nothing, I'm fine I'll be back in a minute" I said, trying my best to sound like I hadn't been crying. Now wasn't the time I needed him here to comfort me, I wanted more than anything to run and hug him and let him hold me in his arms, but the thoughts of what this all meant were reminding me of why I couldnt and why I'd never be able to. "Did Mr. Malfoy say something?" he pressed on "What? No, I said I'm fine" I said sniffling quietly and still not turning to look at him, "You can't just run out of class Y/n, what happened?" he said in a more stern but soft voice walking closer to me. "I just needed some air, that's all I felt l-lightheaded" I said, tears forming again as I thought about the scent that was now growing closer to me. "Do you need to go to the infirmary?" he asked, slowly growing closer. "No, I'm fine" I said thinking about what the hell I'm going to do with this information. I mean what does this mean? Am I gonna be alone? Will it change once these feelings pass and I can find someone else? I knew the answers to these, but I wasn't going to accept there was nothing I could do.

"Y/n tell me what's the matter?" he said putting his hand on my arm and turning me to face him, I looked down tears still flowing down my face, this situation was becoming all too familiar. Why did we keep finding ourselves here? "Y/n." he said, wanting me to spill my heart out like id done in the tower, but I wasn't going to, I couldn't, "Y/n come on." he said in a calm tone. I looked up to him wiping my tears and then looked off to the side. "I can't, it's none of your business." I said in a calm but stern tone. "You said we were friends right? So tell me what troubles you or else I may need to inform Albus." he said, not taking his gaze from me. I looked up at him "Are you going to continue to threaten me with my godfather everytime I dont tell you something?" I said upset he was using this factor against me, "As long as it works yes" he said with a slight smirk. "When you brew Amortentia what do you smell?" I asked looking at him in his eyes, they flashed with a sense of regret and he looked away for a moment "I don't see how that matters?" he said looking back at me. "Well when I did it, I smelt the same someone I was troubled over at the tower, and I'm not sure what kind of sick joke the universe keeps playing, but i'm not gonna be able to withstand the...humiliation any longer.'' I spat out getting more frustrated and another tear falling. He sighed and looked at me, "No don't say anything, I need to get back to class, just pretend this never happened ok?" I said wiping my tears and looking up at him. His hair was lightly dusted with mist and his face looked sadder than normal, he looked empathetic and concerned, his skin beautifully painted with the damp water and his dark eyes clear through the mist. He looked so handsome. I walked past him and headed back inside not wanting to risk him reading my thoughts and picking up on my emotions and what was causing them.

Draco didnt question anything and after class I went to visit Albus before dinner. I needed family right now and some of his wise words. I waited outside his office and it opened up. I walked in and was greeted by the kind old man. "Ahh evening dear, how are you?" he said smiling as I just silently walked over and hugged him, "Oh whats wrong my child? Bad day?" I laughed lightly and let go, he sat down in his chair, hands crossed as I paced back and forth. "You could say that." I said sarcastically. "We brewed Amortentia in potions today" I said slowly walking around his office. "Oh and how did that go?" he said innocently, I know he knows everything, so I know he knows I didn't have the easiest time. "I just feel like the whole universe is against me you know?" I asked laughing. "Yes I'm aware of the feeling" he said smiling still. I went and sat down, my feet draped over the arm of the chair. "Is it possible someones cursed me?" I said looking at him. "Possible, but unlikely" he said offering me a lemon drop. I took it and popped it in my mouth. "Well if karmas real, what did I do to deserve this punishment?" I questioned looking up at the ceiling. "Well what happened that you believe is a punishment?" he asked patiently. I looked at him and swung my legs back over to face him. "I smelled the potion, and it told me that i'm never gonna be happy" I said shrugging "Do smells talk to you often y/n? He said grinning through his half moon spectacles. "Haha you know what I mean." "Well how can you be certain? Is the person dead?" he asked looking at me. "No" I said in a small tone. "Is the person in Azkaban?" I looked at him noticing what he was doing "Nooo." He placed his hands on his desk and leaned forward a bit, "then how can you be sure?" he questioned. I pondered for a moment, "You don't understand, I literally can't be with this person, they'd never feel the same, and it just won't work." I said sighing, "Well the universe is never against you my dear, it may feel so, but everything that happens, no matter good or bad, happens for a reason. And the universe has a plan, so if it wanted you to know your person is easily accessible, for lack of better words, then it would have. Never underestimate its powers." I listened deeply and took in everything he said. "So you're saying it is possible this may not be as irrational as it seems?" I said still confused "Im saying its more than possible." I smiled up at him and walked around his desk hugging him. "Thank you" I said smiling and waving as I headed to leave for dinner.

#snape x reader #snape imagine #severusnape #professor snape #snape #severus snape #severusimagine #severus x reader #severus snape x reader #Snape slowburn #slytherin #hogwarts

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dc41896 · 4 years ago

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One Wish

I think this is the first time ever or in a while that I’m posting something on the day that I meant for it to come out lol😂. Hope you guys like it and that everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays💕!

Pairing: Chris EvansxBlack Reader

⚠️: Mentions of pregnancy, brief concerns about problems conceiving, fluff other than that though💕!

“Mommy!”

“Hey- what’s wrong?” Picking up your sniffling little one running towards you, he rests his head in the crook of your neck as a fresh set of tears begin to roll down his cheeks.

“River and Kyle were talking about Santa and the North Pole when their classmate interrupted saying how Santa wasn’t real,” Chris explains leaning against the counter still holding onto his son’s Spongebob backpack. “And apparently he called them babies if they still believed in him.”

“He is real...right?,” his tiny voice quivers breaking your heart.

“Do you believe he is?”

“Yes,” he nods lifting his head.

“Then he’s real,” you smile kissing his forehead.

“I knew it! I said so, but he won’t listen.”

“Well don’t worry about him. He’s just jealous because he’s probably on the naughty list,” you state causing a little gasp to leave his lips.

“That’s not good.”

“I know. But hey, why don’t you go wash your hands and then you can help me with cookies? Think that’ll make you feel better?”

“Mhmm! And watch Nightmare Christmas with Jack!”

“Yea bubs we can watch Nightmare before Christmas too,” Chris chuckles watching River excitedly climb down to get his bag and hurry to his room.

“Let me guess, Devin?,” you ask moving throughout the kitchen getting everything you’d need.

“Yep.”

“I know I shouldn’t say this, but that kid really gets on my nerves.”

“Babe,” he laughs with head slightly bowing forward.

“He thinks he knows everything and then his parents just think it’s sooo precious, ugh.” Stopping you from walking past again, you feel both of his strong arms hugging you to his chest rubbing up and down your back.

“Aww did Devin make you upset too?”

“Yes he did and I don’t wike it,” you answer poking out your bottom lip as you look up at your giggling husband. Leaning down, his lips sweetly peck yours twice before staying attached for a few seconds longer making you smile as his nose brushes against yours.

“Feel better?”

“Mhm,” you nod making him laugh once again.

“I’m ready!,” River beams running into the kitchen with Dodger on his heels. Stepping his bare feet atop Chris’, still in his sneakers, holding his arms up he lifts the excited child to sit on the counter beside him with legs dangling over the edge.

“Alright what kind of cookies do you want?,” you ask turning to the desert section of your cookbook.

“Chocolate chip! With extra chocolate.”

“Really? You sure you don’t want worm cookies? With extra slime?,” Chris jokes making River shake his head in disgust.

“Eww! No daddy, chocolate chip.”

“You hear that babe? He wants coated frog lip cookies. I’ve never heard of that but if you insist..”

“Noo chocolate chip!,” he giggles as his cheeks become covered in kisses from his father. Mixing all the dry ingredients in the large glass bowl, River carefully cracks the eggs, with the help of Chris, and adds the rest of the wet ingredients before moving to scoop in the chocolate chips. Multiple times throughout the process you have to stop them from trying to eat the entire bag only making them get more creative on how to sneak more when you weren’t looking.

Or thought you weren’t at least.

Once everything was cleaned following the cookies and dinner, and River got to watch his favorite movie while happily tapping his feet to every song, Chris took the yawning child to get ready for bed leaving you to do the same for yourself. As if on cue, by the time you were sliding into bed trying to get comfortable having showered and finished your full nightly routine, there was your husband softly closing the door behind him with a piece of paper in his hand laughing to himself as he approached the bed.

“What?,” you ask, amused as he lies across the foot of the bed propping his head up with his hand and bent elbow.

“River gave me his list for Santa that he made in class.”

“I’m sure it’s filled with toys,” you and Chris both chuckle.

“See for yourself.”

You sit up taking the red and green bordered paper from his outstretched hand preparing yourself for quite possibly the most outlandish requests from the current look on his face.

“Dear Santa, I’ve been really good this year,” you begin smiling at your son’s slightly shaky handwriting and occasional misspelled words. Continuing down the paper, Chris’ eyes stay fixed on you waiting for your reaction when you get to that special part.

From your extended pause and furrowed brows as you bring the letter a bit closer to your eyes, a chuckle leaves his lips as he crawls up the bed lying cheek down on the pillow beside you and his large hand slides under your, well his, oversized graphic tee gripping your hip.

“But what I really really want is a baby brother or sister this Christmas so we can play at home with mommy and daddy and all of us have fun,” you read aloud looking down at your husband.

“Yeaaa...”

“What are we gonna do?”

“Well,” he smirks gently draping your leg over his jeaned hip as his thumb grazes back and forth over your recently moisturized skin. “What kind of monsters would we be to not grant our child’s Christmas wish?”

“Chris you know it doesn’t happen that fast.”

“We could get the ball moving at least?” Leaning up to kiss your neck, you feel his teeth and lips taking turns nipping at your ticklish skin making you giggle as you try to nudge him off.

“Christopher..”

“Okay, okay. I honestly don’t know. We either tell him ahead of time, hurting his feelings when he’s already sensitive about Santa from earlier, or we wait that morning and he still gets his feelings hurt. Either way I feel like it’s a lose lose.”

“Pretty much.” There’s a comfortable silence as you both try to ponder the best option. His fingertips drifting up and down the back of your thigh still across him while you rake through his hair.

“Maybe he’ll get distracted with all his other gifts and forget about it?”

“You really think our son is gonna forget?,” he chuckles shifting to look at you with a raised brow. Moving to give you more room, you lie down with a sigh slightly concerning Chris with the conflicted look on your face.

It had always been the tale-tell sign that you were overthinking and your anxiety might soon take over. “Hey, you know this isn’t some way to force you to have another baby right?”

With a simple nod, your head moves to his chest and hand drops from his hair to the medallion crooked on his chest.

It’s not that you didn’t want to have another one, you were anxiously waiting for the day you’d hold that stick that read positive in your hand again, or the doctor to tell you congratulations as you sat on the obnoxiously loud paper covering the leather seat in the exam room. After your false positive last month though, doubt and worry began to overshadow that excitement.

“Talk to me,” he softly states bringing you out of your thoughts, his other arm wrapping around your body to rub your shoulder.

“It’s just...I can’t get what happened last month out of my head. What if it happens again and we find out I can’t get pregnant anymore? Or what if we do and get excited...and-,” Before you could stop them, tears trailed down your cheeks onto his shirt as he held you closer trying to soothe you.

“Shh, hey it’s okay.”

“What if it’s not? Whenever we’ve talked about kids you’ve always said how you wanted a big family with a house full of kids running around.”

“It’s not all about what I want though Y/N. This marriage isn’t just me.”

“I know but I still want you to be happy,” you mumble, sniffling as he sits up looking at you as if you were crazy.

“You think I’m not happy? Babe you and River both have made me happier than I’ve ever been and will always make me happy.”

“I didn’t mean that you weren’t happy now...,”

“What, you think if you couldn’t have anymore kids I wouldn’t be happy?”

Avoiding his eyes as you fiddle with the hem of your shirt, you hear him sigh as he leans closer holding your chin in his warm hand for you to look into his blue pools full of sympathy. “Sweetheart I didn’t marry you for your ability to have kids, and if you can or can’t doesn’t dictate your worth. I was just as happy when it was just us as I am now that we’re three, which won’t change if we become four, five, or so on.”

“I hope that so on doesn’t go on forever. I thought our absolute limit was four?,” you softly speak making him laugh.

“As I was saying,” he continues, the back of his finger wiping away your tears. “Would I mind having another? No, but only if and when you’re ready. And if you tell me now, tomorrow, or next year you’re done then that’s it, and I will still be the happiest man with my stunning, intelligent, hilarious even though she doesn’t think so wife, and perfect son who never fails to make me smile.”

Your hand finds the nape of his neck as you close the remaining space between you and your lips collide in a slow, yet passionate exchange as if both of you were trying to embed the feel and taste of each other’s lips on your own.

“Thank you,” you whisper, smiling against his now red lips.

“I love you Y/N. Remember that nothing will ever change that.”

“I love you too.”

———

The house is peacefully quiet as your eyes open to see the ground and trees outside covered in a light blanket of snow that still steadily fell from the grey sky above. Careful not to wake your husband who, from the sound of his snores, sounded like he was in a blissful sleep, you turn your body to face his planting your face in the crook of his neck arched perfectly for you to fit. A long, quiet breath leaving your nostrils as your lips curl into a smile, your arm falls across his tattoo littered abdomen and hand dangles along his side.

Your fingertios lazily dragging along his ribs eventually makes a small shudder spread through his body as he pulls you closer. “Hand’s cold,” he mutters with eyes still closed.

“Sorry,” you whisper slowly retracting your arm until his larger hand grabs yours bringing it to the side of his head as he trails kisses from your palm to the middle of your forearm. Long lashes fluttering against his cheeks, he reveals those heart stopping eyes as a drowsy smile appears on his lips.

“Merry Christmas beautiful,” he groggily speaks making you giddy from the butterflies in your stomach.

“Merry Christmas.” Your hands rest on either side of his head as you lower yourself meeting the corner of his mouth before moving to his pouted lips.

“Shh Dodgey let’s go look,” you both hear causing you to separate with knowing smiles on your faces.

“Let’s go before he opens everything.”

Natural light breaks through the thin curtains as you and Chris quietly make your way to the living room, him in his sweats and solid red shirt, and you in one of his hoodies on top of your own grey sweats. You both stop at the doorframe watching him walk all along the twinkling tree admiring his presents and even peaking behind to see what all was hidden along the back wall.

“Did you two start opening presents without us?,” Chris asks startling River before he smiles, running up to the both of you and hugging your legs that respectively stood right next to the other.

“Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!,” you and Chris speak at the same time as he lifts the excited child to sit on his hip. Both of you sandwiching him in as you each blow raspberries on one of his cheeks, an eruption of giggles soon follows after.

“Look daddy! The cookies and carrots!,” he shouts pointing to the table with two empty plates and half empty glass.

“I know! Santa wanted me to tell you thank you, and that the reindeer loved the carrots.” You have to stifle your laugh seeing your son’s eyes go wide in shock as he stares at his father with this new revelation.

“You know Santa?!”

“Of course! He calls parents throughout the year to help make his final decision on the naughty and nice list,” Chris answers, smiling when River turns to look at you with the same amount of shock.

“You too mommy?!”

“Yep! We had a long chat last night before he left.”

“Did he see my list? Is a baby coming?!,” he asks with big brown eyes looking back and forth between you and Chris. You knew this moment was coming, but you’d never be prepared for the hurt you’d feel seeing your baby boy disappointed.

“Um..as of right now there isn’t gonna be one bubs,” Chris answers leaving him confused as his little eyebrows furrowed together.

“Why?”

Meeting each other’s eyes, neither of you expected to be having “the talk” this early with River. But settling on the couch where he sat in Chris’ lap ready to intently listen to your every word, you’d just have to try your best.

“Well sweetie, it’s not really Santa who’s in charge of that. It’s the...um...baby fairy!”

“Baby fairy?”

“Yea, she’s the one that makes sure the baby is perfect. And once it’s ready, she’ll deliver it to the mommy’s stomach where it’ll grow until it’s time to be born.”

“How-how does she know when to make it mommy?,” he asks tilting his head.

“That’s a very good question. Um...well uh...Chris why don’t you answer this one?,” you suggest completely catching him off guard. His pleading eyes meeting yours that read “Too bad, I’m not doing this all by myself”. Clearing his throat, he nervously smiles down at River now giving him his full attention.

“Uh...she knows because...there’s a signal that rings a uh bell and that tells her to start working.”

“What signal?”

It was becoming increasingly difficult to hide your laughs seeing Chris redden by the second. You could swear you even saw a bead of sweat forming on his forehead as he nervously chuckled raking his brain for his next answer. Hearing your muffled snort, he shoots you a playful glare as you mouth a quick sorry before petting Dodger to distract yourself.

“The signal is a...um handshake. But it’s a very special one that is filled with lots and lots of love.”

“Oh...okay,” River replies, disappointment evident on his face that he wouldn’t be getting the gift he was most looking forward too.

“There’s one last important thing about the baby fairy though,” you state tilting his small chin to look at you. “She works all year round. So, just because there’s no baby now doesn’t mean there won’t be one later.”

At that, his cheeks perk to a smile and eyes become bright again as he crawls over to hug his arms around your neck.

“It’s not the signal, but I write her too just in case.”

“Sounds good,” you smile kissing his cheek. “Now go ahead and open your presents so we can go to grandma Lisa’s.”

He quickly scrambles to his feet motioning Dodger to follow and help unwrap the gifts making both you and Chris softly laugh as you scoot closer together.

“Very special handshake?,” you repeat in a whisper as he drapes an arm over your shoulders.

“Hey it’s the best I could come up with on the spot okay. And baby fairy? Why not stick with the stork?”

“Because a bird carrying a baby from who knows would’ve been more difficult to explain, and it’s the best I could come up with on the spot okay?” Mocking his voice, you feel a pinch on your side replacing the smirk on your face with shock from the small gape of your mouth. “Did you just pinch me?”

“I don’t know, maybe it was the pinch fairy,” he shrugs standing up to help River with his presents before you could do or say anything back.

Within an hour, the living room had turned into what you’d describe as the end of the workday at Santa’s workshop from the ripped wrapping paper that was scattered along the floor, along with discarded plastic and cardboard once containing toys that now lied out in the open waiting to be played with again. It made both of your hearts swell seeing how happy River was with each of his presents. Every few minutes he’d walk up to either one of you tugging you down to place a kiss on your cheeks adorably thanking you for everything. He wanted to bring all his new toys to Lisa’s so his cousins could see and play too, but was convinced to bring his top two after being told, and shown, that all of them wouldn’t fit in his bag.

Walking through your bedroom door that evening once returning home, the clock on the bedside table reads 10:13 pm as you both fall back on the bed. As usual, Christmas Day at his mother’s was filled with lots of laughs, exchanging of more gifts, food, playful sibling rivalry between Chris and Scott that ended in both of them being fussed at by Lisa and told to settle down once they got too loud, and of course the kids playing all day with their new toys.

Needless to say, you both were tired.

However, the house was uncomfortably more silent now with River spending the night and remaining weekend at his grandma’s along with his other cousins. It was something new Lisa wanted to start to give you guys a short break for yourselves.

“Babe? You sleep?,” Chris cautiously asks in a hushed tone.

“No, and honestly I don’t know if I’ll be able to. It’s different not having River here.”

It was his first time spending the weekend at someone else’s place, and while you knew it would be a good experience for him and he’d be fine, the protective momma bear in you couldn’t help but worry. Grabbing your hand, he lifts it to his lips kissing your knuckles.

“Yea it sounds even quieter that we’re alone.”

“Mhmm.”

“...And it’s gonna be like that the whole weekend,” Chris smirks, peeking over at you to see if you came to the same realization as him.

“Yep,” you sigh, eyes still towards the ceiling.

Clearly you hadn’t yet.

“First time we’ve been alone for that long since he was born. House completely to ourselves. Not worrying if he’s doing something when it gets too quiet because it’s only us.”

Giggling to yourself, you turn to lie on your stomach lightly trailing your nails from the hairs of his beard down the middle of his chest and abdomen.

“So what you’re saying is that we’re absolutely, utterly all alone? In this big, cozy house?,” you ask tracing the tattoo right below his bellybutton feigning confusion as a hearty chuckle escapes his chest. Sitting up on his elbows, his hand caresses your cheek as he leans forward teasingly brushing his lips against yours. His hand shifts to the back of your neck pulling you closer to connect your lips in a breath taking kiss that leaves you wanting more once he pulls away.

“Exactly,” he lowly whispers. “Thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yea,” you breathe out, biting your lip. “We have all the ice cream to ourselves!” A giddy smile forms on your lips hopping over your husband looking dumbfounded.

“Um y-yea...not really what I was thinking but..”

“And then after,” you start pulling him up to stand with you. “We can really start being alone. Like in the bed, and the shower, and the kitchen counter-.”

“And? You’re preparing for a busy weekend huh?”

“Plenty of chances to perfect that special handshake for the baby fairy,” you smirk. A squeal leaves your lips as you’re lifted over his shoulder with both hands inadvertently tickling your inner thighs from his grip.

“I like the way you think.”

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drxwsyni · 5 years ago

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Petrified (pt.3)

Yandere Erasermic x f!Reader

SERIES MASTERLIST

a/n: is this what they call a slow burn?? i promise the intense yandere stuff goes down soon...-ish. i’d like to have a new part out every week or so, give or take a few days. we’ll see how it goes, but for now enjoy the new chapter!!!

ALSO WE REACHED 200 FOLLOWERS LAST NIGHT THANKS Y’ALL, YOU’RE AMAZING

(5.8k words)

Warnings: reader experiences mild anxiety

If there was ever a time in your life when you felt like you could finally take some well needed rest, it was now.

It wasn’t like you had a choice though, your nurse making it very clear that you weren’t cleared for discharge yet. Therefore another long bout of unconsciousness was the only option you had whilst in the dreary hospital room, and waking from it felt much more pleasant than you anticipated.

Your sleep schedule appeared to be unaffected by the recent events, something you were grateful for. It had you up on this fine Sunday morning at precisely 8:12 am, according to the time on your phone. Unfortunately, you neglected to bring a charger with you to work on Friday. So when your abandoned belongings were retrieved from that dreaded alleyway, you were still left with relatively nothing to keep you occupied. The phone was running on a steadily declining 14% battery life, leaving its use to be minimized to an expensive clock.

With nothing to pass the time in that regard, you simply observed the world coming to life outside your window. It left you the chance to go over the past 48 hours in peace, and you specifically regarded the strange development from last night.

It wasn’t something you hadn’t already been over multiple times in your head, but you still couldn’t manage to wrap your mind around the motivation that was fuelling Shouta and Hizashi to propose such a request. Concern over your health did explain some of it, but the extent of the actions caused by this concern was not at all equal to the reasoning.

Regardless, you’d already accepted to fulfill their strange request, so there wasn’t much that overthinking the situation would do to benefit you at this point.

_____

Breakfast came at around 8:30 am, effectively pulling you out of your wandering thoughts. It was simple enough: eggs, sausage, toast, a side of bland oatmeal and a tall glass of water.

The nurse left you to your own devices after that, telling you that for now it was a matter of continuing the same treatment before any more judgments could be made.

This wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t growing increasingly bored by the minute due to the lack of distractions. So when the sound of a certain voice hero’s conversation could be heard on the other side of your door not long after breakfast, it served as a great relief to the mind numbing atmosphere.

Not a moment later and you heard the familiar rapping on the wooden frame, before the blond pushed it open and entered.

“How’s my sunshine doin’ this morning? Ya feelin’ any better?” Hizashi was dressed in casual clothing with his hair down. In addition, he appeared to be holding some sort of shopping bag in his right hand.

You watched as he made his way towards the right side of your bed, responding to his worries. “Well, the rest definitely hasn’t gone unnoticed. My head still hurts but they’re giving me some pretty powerful meds for that thankfully.”

You figured he would sit down in the armchair, but instead he opted for settling on the edge of your bed again. “Ya sure you got enough shut eye? I can come back if ya need to snooze a lil’ longer.”

His open compassion for your health was comforting, albeit a little insistent, but it made for a relaxing atmosphere for now.

“I don’t think I could sleep anymore no matter how hard I tried, thanks for the concern though.” You gave a warm smile, sensing that he was almost stressed over your wellbeing, unnecessarily much in your opinion.

The blond brought the bag up to rest on your lap, and vaguely you could make out the contents for a brief second.

“Well, Shou’ and I figured you didn’t have all that much to live off of since being admitted, so I went and grabbed ya some essentials on the way here.” He gestured to the bag, to which you hesitantly reached for.

He continued, “I wasn’t quite sure what my favorite listener needed, so I just bought a lil’ bit of everything.”

You peered into the opening, seeing quite the assortment of toiletries. Picking up the packet of cleansing facial wipes, something you desperately needed, you continued to peruse through the items. Smaller things like high quality travel sized tissue packets and floral scented lotions were settled aimlessly at the bottom.

One thing that did catch your eye was a small stuffed black cat, wearing a white frilly dress. You took the plushie out of the bag for further inspection, also singling it out for just being cute.

“Shou’ picked that out. Sent him some photos from the gift shop downstairs since he’s not a mornin’ person. Thought it’d keep you company until ya get outta here.” You looked up at Hizashi, seeing him smiling warmly at the thought of something so wholesome, and you couldn’t help but do the same.

“It’s adorable, thanks…” For a moment you sat in the feeling of being cared for so well, something that you didn’t have much time to receive given your lifestyle. However, that sentiment was quickly overshadowed by the circumstances you were in, particularly with this man.

Once again, your body became riddled with grief over the fact that they’d spent not only their time, but now their money on you. Not that you didn’t understand that Hizashi was genuinely concerned for you―nobody could miss that. It’s just there was no reason for it as far as you were concerned.

The two had done more than enough as it is, and the overkill only made you feel worse. “...I just―I can’t help but feel bad that you spent so much on me. I’ll pay you back completely, it’s the least I could do for how much you and Shouta have invested in me so far.”

That’s what you said, and you meant it completely. But you knew that the voice hero wouldn’t stand for it, so you could only hold onto a string of hope that he’d at least let you compensate for half of the valuables.

He almost let out an amused laugh at your worry for the state of his finances. “Look, I know ya mean well, baby. But this stuff costed no more than pocket change. After all, can’t have you bein’ neglected in this place after going through all that trouble to get ya here.”

“Can I at least pay back half, just for some peace of mind.” He was more stubborn than you initially thought, just another trait of his you were growing used to.

“Not gonna happen, sunshine! But there is one thing ya can do…”

The blond pulled out his phone from his jacket pocket, unlocking it swiftly. He handed it to you, the screen appearing to show a page for new contact information. “Go on and type in those digits of yours. We’re gonna need a way to contact you if some new info pops up about the case from Friday night.”

You glanced at his awaiting expression before silently agreeing, typing in your phone number.

“Also, we gotta work out when that dinner night is happening. Can’t have you runnin’ off on us before then.”

He was right, the only way they were letting you make up for their generosity was oddly by letting them provide you more of the manner. It was your only option, so you settled with the new belongings and finished typing in your contact information.

As if to make sure you didn’t give him the wrong number, Hizashi sent you a quick text of a sun emoticon. You took the opportunity to save his information to your phone.

Just as you did, the screen turned black and wouldn’t come back to life no matter how many times you pressed the power button.

“Outta juice?”

Your eyes darted to Hizashi, who moved to rummage through the bag. He pulled out an object you somehow managed to completely miss: a phone charger.

He began unwrapping the cord from its casing, getting off the bed to find an outlet.

“The police ended up havin’ to go through your bag to file everything as evidence. Shou’ was there when it happened, told me to grab a charger cause you were missing one before I left this morning.”

Just another expensive item you wouldn’t be able to compensate for. It’s like he wants you to feel bad for being so helpless.

“Thanks…I’d be pretty screwed without you I guess.” You didn’t want to keep going on about the regrettable feeling that was all too persisting, seeming as it didn’t matter much anymore.

He handed you the end of the now plugged in charger, letting you hook your phone up to it. “No worries, actually I―”

The same nurse as last night had interrupted his train of thought, making her presence known before entering.

“Good morning Yamada sir, checking up on my patient I see?” She didn’t let him respond, “Well, I hate to break it to you but I’m going to have to steal her for a while.”

He regarded the nurse with a smile. “‘Course, I’ll talk to you later, songbird.”

The blond gestured some finger guns in your direction as he spoke, walking out of your room.

Regardless of the circumstances, you thought, at least I have someone coming to see me. That’s what I get for throwing myself into work and not making friends I guess.

You let the nurse close the door all the way, silently awaiting the slew of information about to be sent your way.

_____

It would seem at this point the only stimulation outside of examinations was in the form of boring phone games, and your newly acquired, and insistent, hero companions.

One of which was currently posted in the armchair, waiting for you to finish eating dinner before you told him about the exciting day you had. Shouta, reserved as ever, kept on his phone until then.

You finished up as soon as possible, the silence eating away at your psyche due to its growing awkwardness.

“How was your day?” Simple, the only thing you could think of asking, great for breaking the silence.

The erasure hero looked up from the screen immediately. “Good, actually. Still haven’t heard anything from the station.”

Remembering that fateful night wasn’t something you particularly wanted to do, but for now it had to be dealt with. “I doubt much will come of it, not exactly like what was going down wasn’t obvious, so no need for an investigation, right?.”

“Probably...any changes with yourself?”

You knew well enough that like his partner, Shouta seemed genuinely interested in your health. The difference was that his way of conveying this was much more...intimidating.

The look he gave you demanded a response, even if the question was harmless enough.

“Ah―not really I guess. I’m here until tomorrow morning for sure, but that’s about all they’ve said.” You wouldn’t know if he was pleased with the response if you didn’t catch the slight nod he gave.

“Well, it’s not a bad thing. You could certainly use the rest.”

Now that’s something you could agree to, but you’d still rather do so in the comfort of your own bedroom.

“Listen, as much as I want to keep you company, my students are expecting graded essays back tomorrow morning. I’m afraid I can’t stay any longer.”

While you did appreciate his presence as a change of routine for a short while, it was only to an extent. You’d be lying if you said the atmosphere didn’t feel heavy while he was around, even if just a little in times like these.

“That’s no problem, I’d hate to keep you from your work.”

He slowly stood up from the armchair, “Hizashi will probably visit tomorrow morning. He’s got the day off so he’ll likely stick around as much as possible. Just tell him to leave if he’s annoying you.”

You watched as his eyes drifted to the stuffed cat resting on the bedside table next to the bouquet, the sight influencing a tired smile.

“You should try and get to sleep early―oh, one more thing.”

Like his partner had done earlier today, he reached for his phone, handing the unlocked device to you. Having done so already, something he was also aware of, you silently typed in your information.

“Don’t be afraid to send one of us a message if you need anything.”

You returned the phone to him, “Right, thanks for stopping by Shouta.”

As he exited the room, you were left with feelings of confliction over the whole ordeal. It was strange―having someone being concerned about your wellbeing was nice, but something, you couldn’t quite place what, was getting in the way of your gratitude.

The two men were clearly busy people. Hero work, on top of being teachers, would more than suffice as something to occupy most of their time. When it comes to dealing with victims, you’d assume that for the sake of efficiency a hero would just drop you off at the nearest hospital and then be on their way.

And yet, for reasons still incomprehensible, the presence of the strange duo was something you couldn’t shake off. Perhaps it wasn’t intentional, but the reality left a peculiar underlying feeling of...suspicion?

It was too soon to say, and frankly it’d be rude to judge them after they’d been so kind to you. However you’d always been someone who falls on the more overstrung side, and neglecting the situation by simply ignoring it was not something you could do.

_____

It was just as his partner had foretold―the next morning you had once again been graced with the presence of Hizashi.

You noted how he was awfully chipper for being up at 8:20 am on a Monday, but like the couple other odd traits of his, you chose to disregard it.

Especially since this person also came bearing quite the appetizing breakfast.

“The nurse said ya didn’t have to eat the hospital food if someone brought you a meal instead. Thought you’d appreciate somethin’ homemade so I whipped it up before leaving.” This time he was seated in the armchair, likely because there wasn’t enough room on the bed with the table that was positioned over it so you could eat.

The meal consisted of―somehow still warm―scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage, fruit, and a side of blueberry pancakes. All in all, it was delicious, and you didn’t quite think it was something he could just ‘whip up,’ but you’d let that slide. You thanked him profusely for it before regarding just how little you’d been informed of things since coming to the hospital.

“I didn’t even know that was allowed to be honest. They don’t tell me much aside from whether or not my condition has changed.” You tried to talk in between bites, not wanting to let the warmth dissipate by waiting to have a full conversation.

“Funny you say that cause she also told me you’d be cleared to leave by the end of the day. Looks like the hit you took wasn’t too serious.”

Well, you would’ve appreciated being the first to receive this news. Isn’t there like a doctor-patient confidentiality thing to keep others from knowing stuff like that?

Regardless, it was still good news. The hospital room was starting to drive you a bit crazy.

“That’s good to hear, thanks for letting me know.” You quietly continued your meal while Hizashi went on about similar things―cases that were like yours, his opinions of the hospital staff.

If there was anything he was good at it was filling the silence, and you supposed this was where his relationship with Shouta came in handy. Not that his partner didn’t seem to mind talking, it was just he wasn’t the most energetic when he did so, whether he knew that or not.

In general, the two of you quickly realized that there wasn’t much to discuss, given how you’d been holed up in the tiny room for the last few days―it didn’t really allow for the most exciting news.

He asked you about a few work details of your own occupation―how long you’d worked there, if you liked your coworkers―menial stuff mostly. By then you had long finished breakfast, and it would seem that the blond had no intention of leaving, much like his partner warned you of.

So, you listened patiently while he went on about this and that. Sometimes trailing off into hero stories, other times bringing up his work as a teacher.

In general, you had no problem listening to him go on. You’d speak up here and there, but not for long as he’d quickly resume with whatever topic he’d fixated on for the moment.

One would think it’d be annoying, and perhaps this was just a result of some form of exposure therapy that made it bearable, but it was enjoyable hearing him ramble.

Yet, good things only last for so long.

It’s not that you eventually found the endless discussion boring, rather the developing behaviour was due to you still recovering―even just in the slightest―from recent events. You didn’t even notice it, but gradually your eyes were becoming heavy, and the sound of Hizashi’s voice was becoming more and more distant.

Embarrassingly, he was the first to pick up on it.

He was mid sentence when he caught you nodding off. Rather than being offended, the blond actually found it endearing.

Instead of alerting you just yet that he’d taken notice of your behaviour, Hizashi silently stood up out of the chair, walking over to the windows of your room.

Your half-lidded eyes just barely picked up on the movement, vaguely seeing him pull the blinds closed before coming back to your senses.

“Oh god, I didn’t mean to―you weren’t boring me I promise. I just-”

“Relax, songbird. It’s my fault, ya must still be a lil’ done in, no worries.”

Naturally, you felt terrible. He was acting like he didn’t care, anyone would be offended at this point.

It was excruciatingly awkward, and you desperately tried to collect your thoughts. “No, no it really was interesting, you can keep going if―”

“Stop it, sunshine.” He started towards your bed, which you instinctively shrunk into. You always defaulted this way, panicking immediately in the face of little to no danger. But Hizashi wasn’t dangerous, you told yourself. He continued, “I should’ve known you weren’t better yet. Still not sure how but you really managed to wear yourself out, didn’t ya?”

He pushed you back down into bed by your shoulders while he spoke, continuing to pull up the blankets you discarded earlier.

“I’m gonna head out so you can get some more shut eye, yeah?”

“Um...o-okay. Yeah, I guess…” You inwardly cringed at how small your voice sounded, but to be fair it wasn’t like you could exactly help it.

It was confusing, how he acted so indifferent to the unspoken insult that you gave him by nearly falling asleep. Was he acting?

Hizashi moved away, heading towards the door, leaving you somewhat comfortably tucked into the hospital bed.

“Get some rest, ‘kay sweetheart?”

“Y-yeah, thanks.”

You heard the door click shut as he left, the room falling into silence amidst the now dim lighting.

Okay...what the fuck.

Devoid of any distractions in your proximity, the hard thumping in your chest was more than clear. At times like these you didn’t even realize any growing anxiety―not until the ordeal was over and you were left with the aftereffects.

The attention to it was only drawn more when you processed the increased rate of beeping coming from your heart monitor.

The last thing you wanted to do was bother the poor nurse taking care of you. Steeling yourself, you took deep breaths, focusing your attention on calming down. It worked soon enough, leaving no need for medical intervention.

You noted that getting like this always drained you of energy―mentally and physically. Heeding Hizashi’s orders, it was easiest now to try and sleep off the anxiety.

You can think about whatever just happened later, maybe when your not still hospitalized.

_____

You were stirred awake by a gentle hand on your shoulder, lightly shaking your resting form. Eyes fluttering open, you observed the dedicated nurse you’ve seen time and time again leaning slightly over you.

“Miss (l/n), I have an update on your condition.”

That was more than enough to give you motivation to pull yourself from the jaws of sleep. You sat up slowly, although it was your best attempt at doing so quickly.

The nurse continued, “Well, it’s good news. You’ve been cleared for discharge. Your condition has improved considerably, so you can continue the rest of your recovery at home safely.”

You needed to hear no more, immediately looking around to find your bag that had been delivered to you from Friday night. Still, you figured that this deserved a response.

“That’s really great to hear, thank you for taking care of me...also, where are the clothes that I came here in?”

“Oh yes, they’re in your bag.” You watched as she reached underneath your bed―no wonder you couldn’t find the damn thing.

The nurse settled the bag next to you before continuing. “Here you go, miss. I’ve prescribed some pain medication for your head injury. Directions for consumption are on the label...and I believe that’s it.”

You rifled through the bag, retrieving your clothing from the bottom.

“Oh, one last thing actually. Now, this is only a recommendation, but given your health it would be beneficial if you were to remain home for the rest of the week. You can go to work if you’d wish, but it may slow your remaining recovery process.”

“I’ll have to think about that one, but thank you for letting me know.”

She turned off the heart monitor before removing the clip on your finger. The IV had been removed yesterday, so there was no need for attention in that department.

“Perfect, you can get dressed and gather your belongings. Please speak to the receptionist at the end of the hall―right before the elevator―so you can pick up the prescription before you leave.”

“Sounds good.” You offered a warm smile to her, and she politely excused herself from the room.

You got changed, clothing appearing to have been washed at some point while you were asleep. Somehow you managed to pile all the things Hizashi brought you the morning before into your backpack, and you threw the shopping bag into the garbage.

It was nice to finally stretch your legs for longer than a few minutes to use the washroom, although your muscles did feel somewhat weaker now.

Slipping on your jacket and bag, you exited the room, closing the door behind you. The receptionist’s desk had been exactly where the nurse said it would be, and you handed over your information to the man behind the counter. He left for a moment before returning with a paper, your prescription printed on it with an illegible doctor’s signature. You thanked the man before heading to the elevator and stepping in.

Nothing was more enticing at this point than returning to the comfort of your own home. The thought of your bed waiting for you was enough to have you drooling, being so done with the unfamiliar setting of the hospital.

The elevator chimed, signalling it had reached its destination of the ground floor. The doors slid open and you stepped out, heading straight for the front entrance.

At least you were, until you collided into some poor unsuspecting human standing in your path.

How many times are you going to embarrass yourself before the day is up?

The person had caught you by the shoulders, stabling the both of you. You were quietly trying to apologize while, painfully so, you lifted your head to assess the damage.

You weren’t sure to be thankful or not, but you were met with a familiar gaze.

“You really shouldn't keep your head down like that all the time. Are you okay?”

Shouta looked down at you with a stern yet concerned look. He didn’t exactly back away, rather he continued his hold on your shoulders as if you were going to fall over any second. Hizashi also stood close by his side, and therefore close to you.

The sudden proximity had your head spinning, blood quickly rushing to your face.

“Ah―yeah. I’m fine.” Your response was pitifully sputtered out, and gently you moved back, out of his grasp.

“You headin’ out? Shou’ and I were just comin’ to check up on ya.”

The blond regarded his partner, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll drive you home, have you eaten yet?” The erasure hero didn’t seem to be asking permission over the matter, but you still forced yourself to give them your take on it.

“You don’t have to do that, I was just about to call a cab. And I have stuff at home for dinner, so I honestly can’t impose on you two anymore.”

“Aw, but we're already here sunshine. It’s no problem, c’mon.” The blond flashed a warm smile before moving to place a hand just beneath the nape of your neck, guiding you to the front entrance alongside his partner.

You were beginning to grow frustrated with the way the two acted, disregarding your wishes so casually. Sure, they weren’t doing anything inherently wrong―just helping a poor civilian get home―but that wasn’t what irked you.

They were too insistent, and it was making you uncomfortable. Clearly they either didn’t notice, or simply didn’t care.

Heroes or not, you couldn’t just let them do whatever they want.

But...would they be offended if you got mad? They’re just trying to help, so what’s the big deal? It’s not like you would have to deal with it much longer, surely you could put up with a bit more of their pushiness.

...Just endure it a little more, you’ve already done enough damage anyways.

It was growing dark out, the sun having just set over the horizon. The crisp air hit you hard as the automatic doors slid open, being equally refreshing and shocking to your system.

An involuntary shiver wracked your body, and you felt Hizashi’s hand slip to your shoulder, gently pulling you closer to him.

It made your stomach churn ever so slightly, but you pushed the feeling down.

Shouta walked in front of you two, presumably leading you to their car in the parking lot. Approaching it, you weren’t surprised to see the expensive looking exterior, and were even less surprised to find an equally luxurious interior as the erasure hero opened the backseat door for you.

You offered a quiet ‘thanks’, removing your backpack and slipping in. The door shut with a heavy thud, and you waited for the two men to enter the vehicle while putting on your seatbelt. It smelled of pine inside, likely due to an air freshener somewhere that you couldn’t see.

They stepped inside, immediately turning on the heat. Shouta was given the responsibility of driving tonight.

“We can grab you something to eat on the way home, I know a couple good joints around your area.” Hizashi seemed quite invested on the topic of good food, but you had to turn him down at least once today.

“Oh, no thank you. I’ve actually got a frozen dinner that I made last week that I was gonna heat up.” You felt the car start to move, grateful to be getting home faster than you would’ve by cab.

For the first time in a while, the blond actually acknowledged and accepted your opinion. “Alright then. Hey, did the nurse lady have anything new to say ‘bout the whole passing out thing?”

“Surprisingly not, guess it wasn’t as bad as it looked.”

Yeah, because they didn’t know why you were so tired, or how getting the crap scared out of you was the final driving force that night.

“That’s good to hear. I take it you’ll be staying home for the rest of the week to rest?”

Once again, you noted the tone in Shouta’s voice that was a little off-putting. He was asking a question, one that you had the freedom to answer however you see fit. But the lowness, sounding like a warning rather than a simple inquiry about your future actions was all too present.

It made you nervous.

“Well...I’m definitely going to take Tuesday and Wednesday off. But I’m already feeling good so I won’t bother to cancel for the rest of the week after that.”

You could only anticipate the disagreement in silence. And disagree they did.

“I’m not too sure that’s a good idea, sunshine. You went through a lot, its best ya hold off for a while.” You could hear the passionate concern in Hizashi’s voice, but it did little to deter you.

You briefly glanced outside, thankful that your apartment wasn’t too far from the hospital. “Maybe, but the end of the week is always really busy, and I usually handle evening shifts anyways. It wouldn't really be fair on my coworkers to bail for that long.”

Without skipping a beat, Shouta replied. “It’s not fair on yourself to put unnecessary strain on your body.”

Well, he’s not wrong, but that’s not the point.

“I can handle it just fine, besides it’s still a few da―”

“‘Zashi told me you fell asleep while he was there today. That doesn’t sound like handling it to me.”

Confrontation had never been your strong suit, even less so when it was directed at you. His words made you want to disappear into thin air, or have the backseat swallow you whole―anything would do at this point. You felt the shame from earlier today resurfacing, despite the internal fight you put up to contain it.

You were a little over halfway home.

“I was just a bit tired. Nothing a nap c-couldn’t solve.”

This time the blonde spoke up. “We’re just thinking ‘bout what’s best for you right now. And with the way things have been...maybe working so soon ain’t the greatest idea.”

The atmosphere was weighing down on you, thick with tension likely only you could feel. “The nurse said that it was okay to work if I wanted, so that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Is that all she said?” Your eyes flickered up to the rearview mirror, Shouta’s hard gaze meeting yours for a moment before you shied away.

God, this man is relentless.

You could lie, it might make this easier. But something told you that they would know if you did. They were pro heroes after all―didn’t they train to detect stuff like that?

“She said working might slow the recovery process, but I think two more days is more than enough time to get better.”

The two men exchanged looks mixed with annoyance and doubt, which you would’ve seen if you hadn’t had your head down, incessantly picking at your nails to distract from the bubbling anxiety you felt.

“Songbird, if the nurse said to stay home then you should listen to her. Going back to work ain’t gonna do ya any good.”

What could you say to prevent this from getting worse?

“She recommended staying home, I don’t have to listen to her.”

“Even though you should?” There was that tone again.

There was a silence in the car that felt like it lasted for an eternity. Clearly both of them were thinking the same thing, Shouta was just more insistent over it, much more insistent.

“What I should do is take responsibility as an employee. I’ll be okay by the time I have to go back.” Somehow you managed a response, despite feeling yourself physically shrinking back into the seat with every passing second.

Judging the surroundings, you were about one minute away from your apartment. One minute away from freedom.

You heard the blond sigh, “We know you wanna work, just promise you’ll think about staying home this week, give us some peace of mind?”

If that’s what will get them to stop hounding you over the matter, then whatever.

“Okay, I’ll think about it.”

The car pulled into the parking lot of your apartment complex. You would’ve jumped out at full speed and ran into the building to escape the tension at this point. But that would be rude, and you didn’t want to look like a lunatic. And even if you didn’t care about that, the car doors were locked.

“We better not have to bring your unconscious body to the hospital again, especially if it happens because you thought going back to work was a good idea. If you think we’re worried about you now...well, this would be nothing compared to what would happen if you pass out again. Understand?” Shouta glared at you in the rearview mirror as he spoke, creating more than a lasting impression of his warnings.

You swallowed dryly, “Of course, thanks for the ride.”

Another moment of silence, then the click of the car doors unlocking sounded.

You opened the door, grabbing your bag while stepping out, trying not to trip over yourself in the rushed panic you were in.

Rounding the vehicle, you started towards the entrance to the complex.

“We’ll catch ya later, sweetheart!” Hizashi’s voice boomed after you, having the car window rolled down.

Out of courtesy, you turned back around, giving a small wave and a smile before stepping through the doors.

In a haze, you shuffled back to your apartment, pulling the keys out of your jacket pocket. You locked the door as soon as you stepped inside, chucking your bag on the floor in the entryway.

You didn’t even bother to heat up dinner, knowing the nauseating feeling in your stomach wouldn’t allow for sustenance at this time. Instead you showered, taking the time to massage your scalp in an attempt to relax.

Sliding into your pyjamas, you found that eating still wasn’t an option, but drinking likely was.

Not alcohol, but herbal tea―it always seemed to do the trick.

The exhaustion set in quickly after you’d gotten only halfway through the cup, so you retreated to the comfort of your bed. You knew the feeling was a mixture of coming down from a stress induced high, the tea, and your still recovering system.

It served as plenty of foundation to knock you out the second your head hit the pillow. This time, you welcomed the inevitable unconsciousness with open arms.

End of Part 3

_____

taglist: @tjhonoluluprezstitch626 @shinsous-eye-bags @roseloverofpastels

#yandere erasermic #yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere erasermic x reader #yandere my hero academia #yandere bnha x reader #yandere mha x reader #yandere eraserhead #yandere eraserhead x reader #yandere shouta aizawa #yandere shouta aizawa x reader #yandere aizawa #yandere present mic #yandere present mic x reader #yandere hizashi yamada #yandere hizashi yamada x reader

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a-la-la-llama · 5 years ago

Text

The One Where Marinette Meets Her 2nd Wayne #6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 7

Panic. Panic wasn’t an uncommon feeling but one that was not welcomed. She had felt it everyday in Paris. The alarms with their high pitched screeches alerting everyone of the danger. That it was time for their heroes’ to come out and save the day like every time beforehand. Akuma alarms were something she was all for but the sounds they made terrified Marinette to her core. Yet, this wasn’t what was causing her to freak out. No, it was something else entirely but the same amount of panic.

Marinette was running late to school. Her first day of school.

You would think she would have kicked the habit but Marinette still couldn’t get her life together enough to wake up with her alarm.

‘Maybe she should change the ringtone to an akuma alarm? That would surely get her out of bed.”, she thought while hopping down the sidewalk pulling her sock up.

Once secured just below her knee, Marinette took off into a sprint towards her school.

‘If I changed it into an akuma alarm I might transform and jump out my window half-asleep.’, she reasoned with herself.

Slowing her speed down to a fast walk, Marinette started her way towards her first class. She had just toured this god-forsaken building and couldn’t remember for the life of her where to go! Everything looked so different with students now in the hallways, most taller than her. Seriously, what did people in America eat? Everyone looked like they grew like weeds.

Focus! She stared at her schedule shuffling her feet to ensure she didn’t trip. Shifting her gaze just above the paper to avoid bodies coming towards her Marinette began to commit it to memory. There must have been a crowd because she got stuck behind people not walking and had to maneuver her way past all of them. What she didn’t realize was that they were surrounding someone. Then she walked straight into that someone.

///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~

Damian was anything but a ‘happy camper’ this morning. Jon had left that summer on some out of this world mission for who knows how long. His father no longer wanted him to attend the school the two had previously gone to and transferred him to one closer to home. It was his first year of high school and to add to it, he was given the task of babysitting one of Selina’s pets. So no, he was not looking forward to this school year. As if it couldn't get worse, many of Gotham’s Academy's students knew of his name and decided that the best way to interact was to gawk. Seriously, Damian was only rich; it's not like he was an idol or something. He was trudging his way to his class when he felt something ram straight into his back.

‘Breath. Father would be disappointed if you snapped at a fellow student on the first day’, he told himself. Luckily, the person who ran into him spoke before he could insult her.

Marinette was panicking. Again! Isn't she carrying the goddess of luck in her backpack? Why is her life so unlucky? Not only did she bump into someone, they were super tall compared to her. They were also the person the crowd had been surrounding. Which in turn meant they were important. So what did Marinette do?

“Je suis vraiment désolé monsieur! Je ne voulais pas faire ça, mais je dois y aller!”, she rushed out before walking past him.

( Translation: I'm very sorry sir! I didn't mean to do that, but I must get going! )

Why did she speak in French! Stupid fight or flight instincts making her switch to her native language. Hopefully no one paid attention and wouldn’t question her on it. Cover story, cover story, think of your cover story. Oh who was she kidding, Marinette couldn’t lie to save her life!

She calmed down before entering the classroom. The desks were the standard science class tables and you were supposed to sit with a partner much like Ms. Mendeleive’s class back in Paris. Most students already knew others from previous grades so it would be easier for her to stay out of peoples ways for now. Her mind drifted back to Paris as she claimed an empty seat. They would have already started school last week. Could they be struggling on the information? Hawkmoth interrupted a lot of school days with his akuma’s. Then again, it was only Ms. Bustier’s class that ever ran off then followed the school's protocols. Alya who would risk anything for the scoop. Lila or Cholé would run because they would be the main targets. Her and Adrien would have run to transform and defeat them.

Marinette knew the Kwami magic protected their identity but she still kicked herself for not recognizing it until Adrien detransformed in front of her. He was very upset that she took his ring without giving him her identity. Adrien eventually understood that as Grand Guardian it would be a liability.

The bell ringing drew her back to reality as she turned back to what the teacher was saying.

“ Good morning, everyone! I’m Ms. Jones and I’ll be your Pre-AP Biology teacher this year. I’ll call roll while you guys get out your science journals! Be sure to say ‘here’ when I say your name.”, she explained.

Marinette pulled her black bag onto her lap and smiled as she took out the 3-subject spiral. The Kwami’s had encouraged her to make a bag to carry the box back in Paris. It was a simple backpack but had the symbol for each Kwami. Tikki explained the symbols were forms of blessings. Like how Master Fu’s box actually represented prosperity in Chinese culture. Each Kwami symbol gave her blessings, like good luck and protection with Tikki and Wayzz. It even had a false bottom where the condensed version of her Ladybug egg fit. Neither she nor the kwami’s wanted to leave it at the apartment all day. So she sewed some extra material to cover it and put all her school supplies on top. Setting it back down under her desk, she flipped to the first page of her journal. She said here when her name was called and tuned out until Ms. Jones started speaking again.

“Now that I have taken attendance, feel free to talk to your neighbor while I hand out this year's syllabus! These will be your seats until the end of the six-weeks.”, the teacher announced. This would have been fine for Marinette if it wasn’t for who decided to sit next to her. She turned in her seat to meet the boy from the hallway.

“Je m'appelle Damian. Ravi de vous rencontrer.”, he said. In French.

“I can speak English. My name is Marinette, again sorry for running into you! There were just so many people, some weren’t even moving and I wasn’t paying attention and I am rambling. Sorry.”, she muttered with a shy smile at the end.

“It’s quite alright. May I ask what caused the language change? Usually I make the mistake when I am passionate about something. Though, I don’t think you are passionate about apologizing.”, Damian asked.

This could go two ways. She could admit she was terrified of him or play it cool and stick to her backstory?

The latter of the two for sure!

“This is my first time in Amer- real school! I have been homeschooled until now. I got nervous about what I was supposed to say, overthinked, and reverted to my first language.”, Marinette explained.

He let out a hum as the teacher put the syllabus on their desk with information on the class, tutorials, and how to contact her. They were told to glue or tape it onto the first page.

“So, your language trigger is the feeling of being overwhelmed. How many do you know?”, he asked.

“I guess you could say that. For sure French, English, and Mandarin. I learned the basics of Japanese and Vietnamese for old acquaintances. Oh, and Italian because of my grandmother!”, she exclaimed. The Guardian language couldn’t be mentioned but that made seven.

That’s what they did in their free time. The two talked about everything they knew and had learned. Turns out they both were ahead than normal students, but Marinette knew she was anything but normal. They actually had five of the seven classes together. Neither he or she knew sign-language so that was deemed a fun class to Marinette. American school was not as bad as Marinette had thought it would be as she walked to work.

She tied her apron on before starting her task of meeting each plant's needs. The Daisies were already complaining about how thirsty they were and begged to be water.

“Ah, Hello Mari-gold! Wasn’t today your first day of school?”, Ivy questioned.

Marinette grabbed the water mister, “Yup!”

‘Well, how was it? Harley and Selina would want to know.”, she continued.

“Hmm. It was great! The clubs will be opening in two weeks so I plan to join an art one. Do we have more plant food in the back?”, Marinette said.

“Yes, just behind flower pots. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”, answered Ivy.

“I think I’ll have to start packing lunch, however. I know it’s an academy but the cafeteria food is still terrible.”, she joked.

“Yeah, I think it’s just a school thing. Oh, that reminds me, Harley wants to bake more of those cookies with you. I quote, ‘I would totally adopt her if we had more room at our place just for cookies.’ She has a serious love of chocolate chips!”, sighed out Ivy.

“While the thought is nice, I have to decline the adoption. How does Friday sound?”, Marinette laughed.

“Perfect!”

Guess What! I actually have the outline for this story and how it will end and everything! Now I just have to write it all... T . T

Tag List

@legallyspawned @chocolate1721 @spartanxhunterx @dreamykitty25 @toodaloo-kangaroo @vixen-uchiha @loveswifi @amayakans @jeptwin @thewonderlandartist @buticaaba @books-and-left-behind-journals @gigibnl @aegyobutpsycho2 @crazylittlemunchkin @maribat-is-lifeblood @myazael @abrx2002 @pawsitivelymiraculous @silvergold-swirl @chaos-inperson @marichatcameback @olynix @ash-amg @elmokingkong @kitsunebell @yin-390

#maribat #The One Where Marinette

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mindofharry · 4 years ago

Text

Motion sickness G.D

chapter 4.

in which julie realises she’s only with gray because of their kids.

chapter 1, 2 and three are here!

fluff, angst, swearing and cheating. feedback is welcome as always!!

TW: some of the stuff mentioned in this series might trigger some people. please don’t read if you get triggered easily!

“should... i... should i sleep in the guest room?”

julie rolled her eyes at the question. she thought it was a stupid question. grayson should know the answer to this. Julie took down the pillow and opened the trunk at the end of their bed.

“you slept with another woman while married to me. i think you know where you’ll be sleeping, grayson” julie replied closing the trunk and walking over to her vanity. grayson cleared his throat in response, not really knowing what to say. “y-yeah, sure, i’ll sleep in the guest room.” he stuttered grabbing his pillow. Grayson stopped for a second to look at julie. at how beautiful, his wife is. Her hair was pushed back by her favourite headband, she always used it because her hair was always so crazy before bed. Her face creams made her skin so soft, and gray used to love running his fingers down her cheeks.

“you can go now” julie grumbled putting the lid on one of her face creams. gray nodded walking out of the room to the boys room. The two boys looked peaceful, even though they were both nearly hanging off the bed, something they got from their dad. They all liked to sleep in weird positions - it used to drive julie absolutely mental.

he pecked them both on the forehead, tucking them in again properly. he lingered at their door, holding on to the knob. tears filled his eyes as he looked at the boys he let down. “papa will fix this, ok?” he said and smiled sadly.

“papa will fix this”

Alexander woke first, of course. He can’t even sleep in if he tried, something sebastian grew out of. But julie thinks this will, sadly stay with her youngest son. Julie and sebastian are not early birds at all. but grayson and alexander are. so when they were much younger, alexander only a couple months old, gray used to bring him on 30 minutes walk around their area, and sebastian used to go and cuddle with his mama. He still does it regularly - alexander does it sometimes too, but he’s so energetic that sometimes julie just has to humour him and bring him down stairs.

usually alexander would come in to julie’s room and whine a bit before julie lets him go downstairs - but this time he saw the guest bedroom open. they don’t have guests often, but when they do it’s usually family. So alexander didn’t even think about knocking or asking his mama first, he just walked in. “hello?” alexander whispered and grayson groaned turning over. “daddy!” he squealed jumping onto the bed quickly, he struggled a little but grayson helped him, pulling him up to his chest.

“you’re home!” alexander grinned kissing his dads, cheek. grayson was nearly sobbing at how happy his son was to see him - he had clearly let this go to long. “i’m home, baby” grayson smiled hugging his boy tightly.

“dad?”

grayson looked over to his oldest son, sebastian, who was confused and a tiny bit angry. He was a big boy, he knew and saw things alexander wouldn’t understand. He knew his daddy did something wrong - but he decided to forget about it for a bit.

his confusion and anger washed away, as he climbed up to his dad, cuddling closer to him. “i’m mad” sebastian said and grayson nodded kissing his forehead “i know, seb” he replied rubbing his back. “but i miss you” sebastian cried, making grayson sigh and kiss his boys foreheads again.

“no crying, baby. today is a happy day, ok? now let’s go wake up mama” grayson smiled sitting up on the bed. sebastian sighed letting grayson catch his tears and wipe them away.

They all walked down the hall to julies room - just like old times, gray thought. those memories were the only thing keeping him sane, along with olivia.

“morning, mama” sebastian grinned jumping onto the bed and snuggling into his mom. grayson bit his lip, trying to keep his tears at bay.

He’s so selfish, he thought. he lost his family because of his own stupid needs. He lost his family because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. or because he couldn’t voice how he felt? and expected julie to realise he wasn’t happy, when he never communicated to her.

“guess what?” julie smiled, clearing her throat a little. grayson used to love her morning voice. especially when she sang, there song was a beautiful piece by john lennon, beautiful boy. And julie used to sing it to him all the time, if gray got one last wish, it would be for her to sing it to him one last time.

“what, mama?”

“we’re gonna have a really fun family day! and daddy’s gonna be here all day. isn’t that fun?” julie said and alexander jumped up and down, grayson knew sebastian was excited - he just didn’t want his dad to see him.

“now, let’s have some breakfast and then we can start planning our day.”

Breakfast went as planned, julie and grayson singing to their boys.

“close your eyes, have no fear”

Grayson stopped dancing as he heard her sing the song he loved the most. He had sebastian on her hip and alexander on her back, swinging around both of them laughing and giggling.

“beautiful boy”

grayson leaned against the island and let the tears spill. He loved everything about this life, he loved waking up this. the singing, the dancing, the love. And he knew not everyday would be like this. there will be lots and lots, of tough days. But the good ones will always out way bad. it’s true about what they say, grayson thought. You never know what you had until it’s truly gone. and grayson felt like he had lost the best thing that had possibly ever happened to him. julie, was the most perfect woman. Kind, smart, everything he wanted and dreamed for in a woman, in a bestfriend, a wife and mother.

but she was the one that got away.

“come on, papa! dance with us” sebastian said getting down from his mother’s hip, grayson laughed wrapping his arms around his son.

“cause it’s along way to go”

“my beautiful boys” grayson mumbled kissing sebastians head.

the day was going perfect, julie thought. too perfect. But she didn’t let herself overthink it, it was the first time in awhile she’d felt this good about herself. The boys are happy and grayson is home. She didn’t let herself think about the divorce, or the other woman. she focused on giving her boys the best day possible.

“monsters inc! papa, monsters inc!” alexander said and sebastian nodded cuddling into his dad more. he warmed up a lot more since this morning, which made julie happier.

although grayson did something so terrible to julie, and he was the cause of all her hurt - julie didn’t want her kids without a dad. didn’t want them to hate him on her account, it would be better for them in the long run. She wanted to give them a good childhood, and in her eyes, pushing all the hurt and anger towards grayson away seems like the only option.

“jules? monsters inc” grayson grinned, julie flinched at the nickname smiling to herself.

“monsters inc it is”

After watching that movie, with lots of laughs and cuddling grayson decided to make dinner, something simple but the family loved.

“carbonara?” julie asked looking over his shoulder a glass of wine in her hand. he nodded smiling “thought i’d make something we’d all eat. have a little break from being vegan.” grayson said picking up an egg.

julie laughed loudly covering her free hand with her mouth. grayson grinned at the sound, the sweet, warm sound of her laugh. it gave him butterflies and made his heart thump loudly. “never thought i’d hear grayson dolan say ‘a little break from being vegan” she giggled, grayson just rolled his eyes puckering his lips.

“you’re annoying” he replied, julie just sipped her wine shaking her head. “um, i-ive had a really good day, gray. thanks for doing this and not being difficult” julie mumbled making grayson turn around. he shrugged and let the dinner simmer on the stove.

“i’m sorry, julie. i really am” grayson said picking up her hand. julie pulled it away, she just wasn’t ready - she didn’t want to have to be ready. the only reason she’d ever be civil with him is because of their kids.

“yeah. well you still put your cock into someone else’s vagina. nothings going to change that” she said picked at her nails. grayson flinched at her language looking at down at his hand, still held out.

“i just wanted you to know.” he mumbled and julie looked up “was is it mistake?” she asked and grayson looked away.

“you’re not sorry. you’re just guilty.” julie sighed and began to walk out before she turned around and grinned.

“tell her i said hi.”

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stevesnailbat · 4 years ago

Text

routine | steve harrington

summary: Steve is stuck in the same, boring routine for months until someone finally helps him understand that change can be good.

warnings: some angst

word count: 2.2K

a/n: gif credit to the WONDERFUL @harringtown !!!! and i bounced a lot of the ideas for this fic around with @comedy-witch @jxnehxpper and @lovesong-remastered so credit to them for this inspo!!

Life was just one big routine for Steve. He’d wake up, do his hair after he brushes his teeth, put on his Family Video Uniform, make himself the mundane breakfast of eggs and bacon and buttered toast, then head to work. At work, there were the same routines of cleaning, taking people at the register, putting movies away. After getting off work, he’d run on the treadmill for forty-five minutes exactly, take a shower, make one of the three over-simplified dinners he always ate, then go to sleep.

Everything was the same all the time, and he needed it that way. Any bump in the road sent his heart rate spiraling, sent his mind into a frenzy of everything that could go wrong. The things that could go wrong were never anyone else’s fault—it was always his fault in his mind.

It was different now that he wasn’t in school. He couldn’t stay distracted with school and sports and homework anymore. It was a matter of battling with his own emotions and he’d found out quickly that routine was the only thing that he needed in his life.

He hated when Robin would ask him last minute to go out, to when she’d invite him to go somewhere after their shift. Those things weren’t part of his routine, so he couldn’t bare the thought of them.

Y/N coming into his life wasn’t any different than any of the other irregularities in his strict schedule. The feelings he caught so quickly terrified him so much that he felt the need to shove them back down his throat every time she was around. Steve’s walls were built high and she could barely reach to get through to him, but she still did somehow.

She became a regular at the video store, mainly out of curiosity of the familiar yet distant boy she saw at the counter the first time she came in. Of course, she knew of Steve; who in the town hadn’t? But, she didn’t know how much he’d changed since high school until she saw it with her own eyes. He was quiet, kept to himself, and was even friends with someone he never would’ve associated with a year before. His change piqued her interest and she wanted to know more.

“Do you always sit in the break room and do nothing for your whole lunch break?” Y/N questioned one day after Robin invited her back room, she had picked up on one of Steve’s many habits already.

“Dingus never eats, I’m not even kidding.” Robin said while stacking some returned movies onto a cart to put out. “I’ve never seen him bring a single morsel of food back into this room.”

“I eat after my shift every day, thank you.” Steve quips, shooting a glare in Robin’s direction. “I’m just never hungry enough to eat during this time, I guess.”

“For a full eight hour shift? You don’t feel hungry at all?” Y/N implored, Steve nodded in an unbelievably confident manner. “You’re lying, Harrington.”

“I’m not—“

“I’m packing you lunch from now on, Steve.” she said, the tone of her voice leaving no room for him to protest. “I promise you that it’ll help you!”

Steve doesn’t say no to the food, but damn, does he want to. Not because he’s not grateful for her, but because it messes everything up. He did the same thing every day in the break room—he listened to his walkman and looked through the return movies pile in the back room. But now, he had Y/N—along with Robin sometimes—pestering him about eating the food from the brown paper bag. It was completely out of his routine and he hated it.

He had to tell himself over and over again that it was just a lunch, and that he could fit it into his routine. Truthfully, it warmed his heart that Y/N cared about him enough to visit him every day, let alone pack him a lunch with every visit. The first few times she brought him food, it was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a bag of chips and an apple. Nothing too exciting, but enough to satisfy his hunger and make the feeling of adoration he felt towards her blossom.

Steve became accustomed to her sitting in the break room with him, cracking jokes with him while he ate his sandwich. He slowly slips back to his habitual tendencies, and Y/N and the PB & Js become apart of them too. It seems to be something to look forward too and Steve enjoys the company. Sometimes there’s a pang of hurt in his chest when he catches her staring at him, but he pushes it away. Steve wanted something constant and this was it, he didn’t want to push it any further and he doesn’t expect her to push it any further.

Of course, Steve knew that Y/N didn’t just want to be his sack-lunch bearer forever, but he didn’t want to think about it. He wanted damn near everything in his life to be on autopilot, nothing left for his mind to overthink about. As much as he might’ve liked her, he forced himself to think of her as nothing but a friend. Getting into a relationship was out of the cards.

When the sandwich she brings changes, something in Steve switches.

“What’s on this?” he questions, lifting the top piece of bread with wide eyes.

“It’s just a turkey sandwich, Steve. There’s some cheese and mayo on it too, but that’s it.” she says casually, watching as he closely examines the sandwich.

That’s when Steve shuts down, for some reason. If the sandwich he gets every day isn’t even a constancy, then what is? She could almost literally see the walls come up around Steve again, the same ones that she’d worked so hard to tear down. Steve had lost his appetite, he felt so dramatic for it, but he couldn’t help it. He forced the first bite down his throat, holding back any bitter words that he might have had about the change.

“Do you not like it?” she asked after a minute of deafening silence, filled with watching him pick at the sandwich. “You don’t have to eat it.”

“I was just—just expecting the usual, you know.” he sighed, feeling defeated by himself.

“I thought you’d wanna change it up? I didn’t think it’d be fun eating the same thing every day.” she suggested, chewing on her lip as she watched him battle with himself.

Steve only nodded and gave her a weak smile, a feeling of uncertainty and dread filling his stomach. Neither of them spoke after that, tension and silence filling the room instead of the typical giggles and teasing. She didn’t really understand why he was so upset, but she knew she could never fully comprehend it. It was obvious that Steve had seen some shit, and that she might not ever get through to him to figure out what bothered him so deeply about the stupid turkey sandwich.

The next day, she brings him the usual lunch, in the typical, boring brown paper bag. Steve’s eyes light up when he sees the peanut butter and jelly, and something in Y/N’s chest aches at the thought of something so simple and so routine bringing him so much joy. He was talkative again, making jokes about some of the new movies they got, making her laugh like the day before hadn’t happened. It didn’t sit right with her.

She couldn’t even bring herself to drive home after Steve’s lunch break. Curiosity was keeping her from putting her car into drive, she wanted to find out why he was such a creature of habit. And more importantly, why he kept pushing her away. She waited three hours for Steve to come out of the Family Video, eyes trained to the door the whole time. He looked bored when he walked out of the store, like he was dreading going home for the night.

“Harrington!” she called after rolling down her window, motioning for him to come to her car.

“Hey, have you been here this whole time?” Steve asked, brows nearly knitted together as a confused frown grew on his lips.

“That’s not important, will you get in the car? I wanna talk to you.” she said, throwing her chin in the direction of the passenger seat.

“I’m—I can’t, I have somewhere to be—“

“Do those plans include going home for the night? Because you looked like you were not looking forward to it five seconds ago.” she said matter-of-factly, giving him an incredulous glare as he looked at her in silence. “That's what I thought. Get in, Steve. It won’t take long.”

Hesitantly, Steve rounded the car to get in on the passenger side.

“I can’t stop thinking about yesterday.” she blurted out as he closed the door, making his eyes go wide.

“What about it?” he asked cautiously.

“About how you went radio silent for the hour over a stupid turkey sandwich. Just because I switched something up on you.” she said bluntly.

“I—I don’t know.” he stammered, refusing to look at her as he felt her eyes fixed on him.

“But you do know! You just aren’t saying it! You can’t just have everything in your life be the same all the time.” she huffed.

“What if I want to? I don’t like change! I don’t want things to change!” Steve exclaimed.

“Things always change, Steve! You can’t just live the same, boring life every day and be okay with it. Live a little!” she retorted, watching as he rolled his eyes and let out a small, bitter laugh.

“I don’t want change, Y/N! I’m happy with where I am right now, nothing at all needs to change. I’m okay with living this same, boring life every day!” he mocked, a hand running through his hair nervously. “I do the same thing every day, and you bring me the same lunch every day. I don't care about variety, I care about not giving things the opportunity to fuck up again! I—I like the way everything is right now and I don’t want to get my hopes up for anything more, because sometimes something more never comes.”

In that moment, she could tell he wasn’t talking about the turkey sandwich anymore. Steve was talking about her, and what they had going for them. His biggest fear was pushing forward and getting nothing in return, or feeling like he wasn’t loved again.

“You know why I take the longest shifts I can here?” he asked, breaking the saddening silence. “So I can avoid being in my big, lonely house. I don’t like being alone, but I know I am. It’s become my routine for me to take long ass shifts so I can feel okay, so I can feel again, just for a little bit every day. And—And as much as I hated letting you in at first, I like the little routine that we’ve created, too. I like talking with you and making stupid jokes about the new releases. I—I don’t want what we have to change. I don’t want to lose it because of one small change or because I’m being selfish.”

“You’re being selfish right now, Steve.” she said softly, and he finally looked over at her with his wide, pain-filled eyes. “You aren’t letting yourself understand what other people might want. And I know for a fact that you don’t want me to just be the girl who brings you lunch every day, is that right?”

Steve nodded slowly, taking the moment to let his thoughts catch up in his whizzing mind.

“I can see it in your eyes when we sit in the break room. When you catch me staring sometimes, you freeze up. You get a little blush on your cheeks or you frown to yourself for a moment, because you don’t want to fuck it up.” she continued, reaching for his hand across the console. “But you’re digging both of us into a deeper hole by not letting me in and not changing your routine. I just want to help you.”

He’s quiet for a moment, eyes trained on where their hands met. Her touch was gentle and soothing, her thumb rubbed circles along the back of his hand to calm him down as she spoke. It was a bit overwhelming for him at first, but he was growing to accept it quickly. Before he could fully grasp what was going on, her other hand reached to cup his cheek. Their eyes met once more and she could almost see the shift from sadness to adoration in his doe-eyes. Steve couldn’t help but lean into her hand, catching her lips in a soft, quick kiss. It was a bittersweet moment for Steve, but he told himself that change was good, and that love was good, too.

“Will you finally let me help you?” she asked after pulling away from the short kiss, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“Yeah, I’ll let you.” Steve said with a weak smile, a feeling of warmth filling his chest as he spoke.

tags: @sourapplebaby @harringtown @jxnehxpper @charmed-asylum @heart-eye-harrington @daddystevee @queenofthehairharrington @a-magey @lemonypink @igotmadskills @ilovebucketbarnes @simplesammyx @willowrose99

#steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things 1 #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3 #steve harrington angst #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things x reader #stranger things angst #stranger things fluff #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington x you #stranger things x you #steve harrington imagine

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sassyduckqueen · 4 years ago

Text

Miraclous: Rise of Anatis 42

Yay! New Chapter and we got a new character. Felix is officially here and there's a little Easter egg at the end. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :D Also Puppeteer 2 will be the next chapter. I want to get that one out of the way since I'm not a big fan of it but hey, let's see if I can do a better version :D Oh, There is a reason why I switched Juleka out for Nino. Juleka will be akumatized twice in this part of the story. Once as Reflekta and the other is a surprise but I thought she could do with a break before that all happens... Also I know it’s a bit late but happy new year! Hopefully 2021 will be better!

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Chapter Forty-Two: Felix

"Today is one year since Adrien's mother disappeared," Nino stated as everyone was sat around the stage on the Liberty. He was pacing along with Marinette while everyone was watching them. Alya was sat next to Rose and Luka while Juleka was stood behind them next to Max while Kim was sat in front of them. Alya held a tablet which had the rest of the gang plus Lila on call. Alix was with Nathaniel and Marc at the park while Mylene and Ivan were checking in from a protest while Chloe and Lila were checking in from their rooms and Kagami was on call while she was in the car.

"Right! And we can't leave Adrien all alone on a day like this!" Marinette piped in, making everyone nod in agreement.

"True that," Alix agreed, causing Nino and her to stop. "But there's no way his old man is gonna let us see him,"

"Alix is right," Alya stated, making both of them frown before Marinette made a thinking face.

"Aha!" She stated, pointing at them. "Why don't we make him a video and tell him how much we all care about him?"

"Great idea, Marinette," Alya grinned, holding up her tablet. "We can take turn in making messages,"

"Then send it to him," Nino grinned, holding up his hand for a high five. Marinette slapped it as she grinned. "So who wants to go first?"

"Marinette! You should go first," Alya grinned, pointing her camera at her and making the girl squeal in surprise. "Ok! Go!"

"Uh! No, no! Someone else should go first!" She gasped, pressing her fingers together. "I still need to figure out what I'm gonna say!"

"Ok, girl," She said, shaking her head before moving it to Nino, who fixed his cap. "So, Nino, ready?"

"Yup," He grinned, nodding.

"Action!" Alya declared, pushing the record button.

"Hey, my dude!" He stated as she filmed. Once his message was done, she filmed Rose's then Max. Juleka and Luka did a message together and Kim declared that he would be there for his friend. Alya paused it before handing it to Nino so he could film hers. He grinned at her and pressed record as Marinette paced in the background. She had no idea what to say. After all, much couldn't be said on a day like this. Kwami knows how she would feel if her mama disappeared and her father acted cold and unfeeling. She bit her lip as Luka moved over to her, causing her to jump a little at his presence.

"Penny for your thought, Melody?" He asked, making her look at him and smile a little. She sat next to him and let out a little sigh as he strummed on his guitar. Instantly, she recognized the tune as her melody and just like her, it sounds conflicted and unsure. "Trying to decide what to say on the video?"

"That obvious eh?" She asked, smiling a little as Luka changed the melody a little so it was more calmer. She felt her inner song match it's tempo. "I just don't know what to say to him, you know? I can't imagine what it must be like for him..."

"Speak from the heart," He stated, making her look at him. He said it like it was so simple and maybe it was. Maybe... as usual... she was overthinking things. "As long as it's full of love and support, you can't go wrong,"

"That's... actually really good advice," Marinette smiled, gently leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. He smiled shyly as Alya wrapped her video. "Thank you, Luka,"

"Your turn, girl," Alya grinned as Nino held it up to her. Marinette took a deep breathe and faced the camera before feeling freaked out. She could not talk from the heart in front of everyone.

"Uh... would you mind if I recorded it... on my own?" She asked, causing a number of her friends to look at her. However, Luka didn't seem surprise as she looked around. He continued to play the melody and gave her a supportive smile. Nino nodded and handed her the tablet, allowing her to rush off into the bridge area of the boat. She sank down and took a deep breathe as Plagg flew out.

"Ooh, we making a video for Blondie?" He asked, making her look up at him.

"It's the anniversary of his mother's disappearance," She sighed, making the little cat god frown. "And I have no idea what to say to him,"

"Why don't you follow the blueberry's advice?" He stated, making her look up at him as he threw up a chuck of cheese and swallowed it whole. "What was it he said?"

He flew in front of her and placed his paw on his heart before holding the other out with his eyes closed.

"Speak from thou heart, sweetest maiden!" He mocked, making her giggle a little bit.

"Luka did not say it like that, you little monster," She grinned, making him grin back as she reached out and stroked his ears. "But he is right... I should speak from the heart,"

She held up the camera and took a deep breathe before pressing record. She looked into the camera with a soft look.

"Adrien," She stated calmly as she listened to her heart. "I love you. I'll always be there if you need me,"

She managed to press the record button, finishing her recording before she realized what she said. Her mind began to race, thinking off all the worst case scenarios. What if he hated her after this? What if Kagami decided to cut her into tiny pieces and turn her into Marinette skewers? What if Luka somehow found out and gave up her, thinking she was in love with Adrien? She was slightly alarmed at that last thought as it had seemingly came out of no one where and she was in love with Adrien... right? She just said it after all. Her wording was 'Adrien, I love you' but did she really mean it? Her eyes widen as realization hit her like a tidal wave. Sure, she liked Adrien but did she love him? She did but not in the way she thought she had. When she thought over their interactions and their relationship, it began very clear to her exactly what her feelings for Adrien were and they weren't what she thought they were. Sure, she loved the sunshine child but not in a romantic way. When she thought about it, she only 'fell' for him because he showed her kindness. Something she wasn't use to at the time but as she thought about her friendship with him, she realized she hadn't really loved him. Not really. She loved her idea of him but it wasn't really him or real in general. She had put him on a pedestal. She had been obsessive and competitive. She thought she had to like him but she was starting to realize that while she clearly cared for him, it wasn't in a romantic way. Not like how she thought about Luka. She never felt the need to act weird around Luka or to follow some crazy plan. It was just calm and natural with him. She didn't need to impress him or be jealous of girls in his life. Hell, she wasn't even jealous of Rossi when she tried to hit him. Sure, she had shouted at her but that was because of the way he was reacting to her. Luka had been uncomfortable and she would not stand for that... but she had been board-line stalkerish with Adrien, even when Luka came into her life. She had only recently started to back off, after the whole Desperada thing but certainly didn't justify her actions. She covered her mouth as she realized her own actions and where her heart truly lied, causing Plagg to look at her with concern.

"Dollface, are you ok?" He asked, forcing her out of her thoughts as she nodded. She wanted to tell him but she heard Alya yelling for her before she could. She got up and opened her purse for Plagg, who flew in and walked back onto the deck, a little wobbly and pale from her revelation. Alya walked over to her with concern on her face.

"What's going on, girl?" She asked, frowning. "Are you feeling sick or something?"

"I came to a realization..." She muttered before holding out the table. "Anyway, I've done my video so you can send it,"

"Awesome, girl," Alya grinned, taking the tablet. "I hope it was a good realization,"

She winked before walking back to the others, declaring that they had all of the video. Marinette let a little sigh, shaking her head. It wasn't a good realization but she was grateful she had came to it. She needed to be a better friend to Adrien, because she now knew that's all they were. It was time to move on. She took a deep breathe and when to join the others, who were happily chatting but she noticed Luka had disappeared. She frowned a little and moved over to Juleka, who was hugging Rose.

"Where did Luka go?" She asked, making the two girls look at her.

"Oh, he went to his room to play guitar," Juleka mumbled, making Marinette nod. "Social gatherings like this aren't really his thing. We're lucky to have gotten half an hour out of him,"

"Oooh but I'm sure he would like some company!!" Rose gushed, making Juleka smile a little. "You should go and see him,"

"You think?" She asked, causing the two to nod. She bit her lip but nodded and headed into the liberty. Hearing the sounds of a guitar, she followed it towards Luka's bedroom. The door was ajar a little so she carefully knocked. "Luka, it's me. Am I ok to come in?"

The music stopped, causing her to frown.

"Sure," He replied, causing her to push the door open as he began to play again before he stopped again. "Huh... your heart... it's changed..."

"It has?" She asked, sitting down on the bed as he began to play again. It was her normal tune but it seemed crisper and clear. The chords seemed to line up in almost perfect sync and it rang with realization and clarity. She closed her eyes and placed her hand on her heart as she listened. The music sang softly of love and understanding as well as hope and a small longing. It only strengthened her resolve. Gradually, the melody came to a stop and she opened her eyes. "Wow... you're amazing..."

"I only play what I hear," He muttered with a shy, modest look on his face before he glanced at her. "But this is the clearest I've heard it. It's almost like you've come to understand something that was confusing you..."

"I have," She admitted, looking at her hands. "The video I made for Adrien... I took your advice and spoke from the heart... I told him that I love him... and I thought what if he returns my feelings? Or what if he hates me? Or just likes me but not in that way?"

"Well, I'll be happy for you and Adrien if it works out," He smiled, moving so he was sat next to her as he played. "And if it doesn't, I'll be here for you,"

"Thank you, Luka," She smiled as he played his guitar. "But that's kind of the thing. You know what my mind is like. It races and it kept racing. I'm mean he might be dating someone else and we don't know and I thought what if they discover I said I love him?.... but then I started to think if I really meant it and that's when I had a revelation... "

She jumped up and looked at him.

"Luka... I don't think I'm not in love with Adrien..." He looked at her with surprise because that was the last thing he expected to hear but she wasn't done yet. "I mean... I like him... I definitely like him but can it really be considered love?"

She began to pace as she spoke.

"And do I really like him in a romantic way? I'm not so sure anymore... my behavior regarding him hasn't exactly been good, you know... and when I think about it, I don't even really know him... like I can't talk to him like I can talk to you... I get my words confused and can't think properly around him. I have his schedule and stole his phone for crying out loud!"

"Hey... it's ok..." Luka gently placed his hands on her shoulders as her melody changed into the hectic mess he was familiar with. She looked on the verge of a melt down. "Take deep breathes,"

She nodded and did as told before slowly calming down. Luka gently made her sit down as he knelt down in front of her.

"Marinette, I'm gonna be very honest with you ok?" He stated, getting a nod of her. "Stealing his phone and having his schedule is extremely and stalkerish-"

"I know..."

"But the fact that you are able to realize where you've gone wrong is good," He smiled, making her look at him. "It means you can fix your mistakes and that is a good thing and love is a complicated thing but it's not just for couples, you know. Love is something anyone can feel. You can love your family and your friends, love a hobby or a place and love a pet or a person but we sometimes mix the different types of love for something else,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, platonic love can be mistaken for romantic love and vice versa," He explained, getting a confused look of her. "Well...like you and Alya for example... do you love her?"

"Well, yes but she's my friend..."

"Exactly. That is platonic love," He explained before he moved and sat on the bed. "There are so many different types of love, Marinette. It's not just exclusive to romantic feelings,"

"So I could love Adrien but as a friend?" She asked, feeling like that made sense but Luka shrugged. "Hey, come on! You know feelings better then anyone I've ever met,"

"True but maybe this is something for you to learn for yourself," He stated, making her pout. "Hey, now don't give me that look. I only read and feel emotions... unfortunately, I don't have all of the answers... if I did, I'd give them to you..."

"Well, you have helped," She grinned, making him smile. "So I suppose I can forgive you for not having all the answers... seriously though... thank you,"

"No worries, Marinette," He smiled, making her smile back before frowning.

"You don't think I'm creepy do you?"

"Nope," He replied, strumming the guitar. "Rossi is creepy, not you,"

"I'm glad," She smiled as their phones pinged. Luka opened his and showed her. Adrien had sent a video reply to the group chat. Marinette moved a little closer to Luka as he pressed play before they watched Adrien's reply. At first, it seemed normal but then he began to act cold and mean. Marinette frowned deeply as they watched, matching Luka's frown. This didn't make sense to either of them. For one, Adrien came across as a gentle kind soul and two, he didn't know the full extend of Luka's empathy so he couldn't block it out plus he wasn't that much of a good actor. Even as Apsik, he was still a sunshine child. Just a little bit more wild but still kind and gentle. Marinette looked at Luka and met his puzzled expression. "That's not Adrien..."

"I agree," He replied, frowning. "But this is on the group chat-"

"Oh no! The others!" She gasped, jumping up and rushing out. Tikki flew over to him as he jumped up and followed. Marinette ran up the stairs and onto the deck to the others, just as Kim pointed out that they didn't really know him. Alya frowned and added that he was friends with Chloe before they knew him and while she had changed, it was only after the heroes had appeared, not before, meaning that when Adrien had become friends with her, she was mean. "Don't believe this video! There's no way that's Adrien!"

However, Marinette was too late. An akuma entered Alya's tablet, causing purple masks to appear on Rose, Nino and Alya who were all holding the tablet. Marinette gasped as Luka caught up with her.

"Oh no..." He gasped as they listened to Hawkmoth before transforming into Bubbler, Lady Wifi and Princess Fragrance. Luka grabbed Marinette and pulled her inside the Liberty before running to the back of the boat. He pushed her into his room as she took a breathe. "Hide in here,"

"But... they're gonna take it out on Adrien!" She gasped, worried as Luka frowned.

"I'll contact Anatis but stay here," He ordered before closing the door as Marinette tried to argue but she didn't put much of an argument as she could use this as a chance to transform and that's exactly what she did. With her transformation complete, she climbed out of the window and onto the roof of the Liberty as Lady Wifi paused Juleka, who was trying to defend Adrien.

"You're not punishing anyone, Wifi!" She declared, taking her fighting stance as the trio looked at her. "Time to log you out!"

"Not now that I've got satellite connection," Lady Wifi grinned, throwing a pause at her. Lady Noir jumped off the roof as she dodged before Princess Fragrance fired at her, causing a pink smoke cloud to surround everyone. However, she covered her mouth and nose before she could breathe it in. The same could not be said for Kim and Max, who fell under Fragrance's spell. She ordered them to attack her, causing Max to charge at her. She tripped him up but Kim grabbed her, causing her to struggle with him. However, a yoyo hit him between the eyes, causing him to let her go. She kicked him and restrained him as Anatis jumped down and grabbed Max who was about to charge at her. However, the trio used the chance to escape, causing Lady Noir to let out a sigh as Anatis tied up Max and Kim.

"Nice timing, bugboy but our trio of punishers are after-"

"Adrien Agreste I know," He nodded, making her nod. "I say we should get there first,"

"Good plan, bug-a-boo," She grinned before the two of them took to the rooftops and made their way to Agreste Manor. The two of them ran as fast as they could, jumping across different roofs as citizens cheered at them. Anatis swung forward and landed on a roof, opposite the manor but held up his hand as Lady Noir landed next to him. He took out his yoyo and zoomed into Adrien's open window to get an idea of what was going on. However, the scene that greeted them was a confusing one to say the least. Bubbler, Lady Wifi and Princess Fragrance were fighting Natalie while two Adriens sat by and watched with confusion and fear. "Uh... am I seeing double?"

"No... two Adriens...." He muttered, clicking his fingers. "One of them must be an impostor,"

"Of course... that means the impostor made that video," She gasped, letting a sigh of relief. "It wasn't the real Adrien,"

"The trio must have realized that right now but they don't know which one is the real Adrien..." He muttered, making her frown.

"Neither do we," She muttered as he nodded. "Plan?"

"Grab an Adrien each and get them out of there," He replied, getting a nod of her. The two of them dived into the open window, getting the villains attention. Almost instantly, they attacked Anatis, causing him to fight them as Lady Noir jumped over to the boys. She blinked as Anatis threw Lady Wifi into a wall and blocked Princess Fragrance and Bubbler's attacks.

"Rose-" He stated, trying to get through to her but she kicked him sending him flying into the wall. Lady Noir gasped as he got back up and fought them with Nathalie's help. "Lady Noir! Get them out of here!"

"Yes, boss!" She grinned, grabbing both of the boys and jumping to the window. However, Bubbler managed to grab the ankle of one of them and pull him back in as she jumped. She landed on the roof and looked back as Anatis grabbed and threw him into the wall. Lady Wifi dived at him but he tripped her up and threw her off him. Lady Noir bit her lip and jumped away, planning to return for the other one once she got this one to safety. She carried him to the Grand Paris hotel and landed onto the roof, placing him down. "You'll be safe here but I have to get the other one,"

"Lady Noir! Wait!" He gasped, grabbing her hand as she went to jump away. She looked at him in surprise as he looked at her like she was the love of his life. "I've... I've always been in love with you, you know"

"Uh... that's nice..." She mumbled, pulling her hand away. "But I can't return your feelings, Adrien... I'm guessing you're Adrien..."

"Ah... if only you'd let me..." He replied, walking towards her. However, she felt extremely uncomfortable and backed away as he moved forward, trapping her between him and the wall. He placed his hand on the wall as he smirked at her in a dark manner. "How about I give you some courage before you go,"

"Uh... wait... what? No!" She gasped as his eyes moved to her lips. He leaned in to kiss her but she ducked under his arm and moved away from him, hissing at him angrily as she held up her fists. "Ok! Which part about the word No did you not understand?!"

She punched him, sending him fall onto the ground as he gripped his mouth. She glared down at him as he moved his hand, showing his lip had been busted. He looked up at her with a bit of fear, which made her feel a little better.

"Gross! You're not Adrien!" She declared, glaring at him still. "He would never be so pushy,"

The sound of a yoyo caught her attention before Anatis jumped up and landed on the roof, next to her. He glanced over at the boy on the floor before turning to Lady Noir, who was still fuming.

"Are you ok?" He asked, concerned.

"That creep decided to try and kiss me, despite me saying no!" She growled, making Anatis click his fists but she placed her hand on his. "Don't worry, Annie. I already punched him..."

"S-She started-" He didn't get to finish that sentence as Anatis slugged him as well before grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him up to his feet.

"I hope you've learnt the importance of consent, Felix," He spoke in a calm voice but it held the feeling of the calm before a storm. Both Lady Noir and Felix could felt his rage, despite the fact that he was really holding back. He smiled at Felix as he set him down and smoothed out his shirt. "Because if you haven't, I will have to teach you it and well... my methods aren't exactly soft. Understood?"

"Y-Yes..." Felix replied, shaking as Lady Noir walked over.

"Felix huh?" She asked, glaring at him. "Why do he look exactly like Adrien?"

"They're related," Anatis replied. "Cousins... Adrien told me everything... seems like you've made a lot of enemies in one day, Felix,"

"Hmph! Probably doesn't have a lot of friends with the way he acts," Lady Noir declared, crossing her arms and holding her head to the side. Felix looked down and sad as she clocked the trio, frowning. "They're coming, Annie,"

"Better prepare then," He declared, throwing up his yoyo. "Lucky charm!"

He caught the can of whipped cream as Bubbler landed on the swimming pool cover.

"You really think covering us with whipped cream will save you from been punished, Anatis?" He asked, pointing his wand at him as Princess Fragrance landed next to him and pointed her gun at Lady Noir.

"Want to smell like fish for the rest of your life, kitty?" She asked as Anatis attempted to look around but his vision wasn't lighting up anything. He had no solution.

"Do anything and I'll pause you for good," Lady Wifi declared as she landed behind them. Lady Noir looked ready to fight as she glared at them.

"You spend way too much time on your phone!" She declared as Anatis tried to look around again. "Annie... got a plan?"

"Uh... no..." He replied, making her frown. "Nothing's lighting up..."

"What do you mean nothing is lighting up?!" Lady Noir gasped, as Anatis held up the can to Reflekta. "Is your power not working?!"

"I don't think so..." He replied, making her frown. "I think something is missing..."

"Like what?!" She gasped, getting a shrug of him. However, Felix suddenly jumped up and kicked Lady Wifi's tablet out of her hand and jumped away with it. Lady Noir turned to him as he held it. "Felix, break it and this nightmare will be over!"

"What makes you think I want it to be over?" He asked, smirking darkly at him. Anatis held back a growl as he started to shout. "Hawkmoth! Can you hear me, Hawkmoth? You want Anatis' and Lady Noir's miraculous, don't you?"

"It's official," Lady Noir snarled. "I am going to kill him,"

"Murder is illegal, Kitten," Anatis stated, making her frown. "However, if he gets caught in the crossfire... that's not our fault,"

"And what do you want?" Lady Wifi suddenly stated, making everyone look at her. She had the purple mask over her face.

"I'm after a piece of jewelry too," Felix declared, smirking. Normally, he wouldn't deal with such a man but he would do anything to get his mother's rings back. Anything. "How about we make a little exchange?"

"Get hold of the miraculous first," Bubbler declared.

"We'll discuss the rest later," Princess Fragrance continued, making Felix smile.

"You've got yourself a deal," He stated, glaring at the two heroes. "Now I think it's high time that Anatis and Lady Noir were punished,"

He turned to hand the tablet back to Lady Wifi, causing Anatis's luck vision to kick in. Princess Fragrance and Bubbler lit up, followed by Lady Wifi and Felix then the can of cream. Smirking to himself as Lady Wifi jumped towards them, he threw the can of cream under her feet, causing her to trip. He stepped out of her way, causing her to knock into Bubbler, who accidentally trapped Princess Fragrance in one of his bubbles. Felix looked shocked as he saw the whole thing come apart and when to run but Lady Noir threw her baton into him, causing him to trip back and fall over the edge of the hotel. He screamed as he fell to the ground but before he could hit it, Anatis threw his yoyo and wrapped it around him, allowing the tablet to fall and break in half, freeing the akuma. The trio turned back into their normal selves and looked around, confused as Lady Noir moved over to the edge and picked her up her baton. She leaned over and smirked at him.

"How's it hanging, Felix?" She teased as he swung. Anatis began to pull him up but decided to mess with him a little by pretending to drop the yoyo, causing Felix to scream. However, he pulled up over the edge and captured the akuma before releasing it. Lady Noir pressed her baton next to Felix as it looked like he was about to escape and the heroes weren't done with him yet. She knew Anatis would want words with him. Anatis grabbed the can of cream and threw it into the air, releasing the cure before turning to the three victims.

"We'll bring you back to your friends' boat but first..." He turned to Felix and clicked his fingers. "I need to have a chat with Felix here,"

"Felix?" Alya asked as Rose and Juleka frowned. "So it wasn't Adrien?"

"No, it wasn't," Anatis replied before walking over and crossing his arms as he glared down at Felix. "Where do I even begin?"

"I wan-"

"Shut up," Anatis snarled, making Felix go quiet. "I have met so real messed up people since I began came a superhero but you... oh, you are a whole different level of crazy! I mean first, you impersonate your own cousin to make him look back in a city known for a terrorist who preys on bad emotions, which resulted in getting his friends akumatized and putting your cousin in danger then you try to force a kiss on my partner, despite the fact that she said no. News flash, Felix! That is sexual harassment! And as if that wasn't bad enough, you then try to work with Hawkmoth and attempted to capture me and Lady Noir! And what for?! A piece of fucking jewelry! I mean that must be some damn special jewelry, Felix! Like a miraculous or something! Is that what is?!"

".... No...." He mumbled, looking to the side. He did not expect the superhero to call him out of his actions. "It's a family heirloom..."

"A family heirloom?!" Anatis practically shouted before pinching his nose. He glared at Felix, who felt small in the hero's gaze. "Let me tell you something! No piece of jewelry is important enough to try and work with a fucking terrorist, Felix!"

"I-"

"No, I am not done!" Anatis growled, making the boy shut up. "Do you understand what could have happened today? If you had succeed and taken away our miraculous! Hawkmoth would have won and Paris would have burnt, your family with it! And there would be only one person to blame other then Hawkmoth! And that person would be you, Felix!"

"I wasn't really going to give him your miraculous!" Felix gasped, looking at the hero. "Look, I'm sorry but-"

"Are you?" Anatis questioned as the girls watched him. Felix frowned and blinked before looking down. "Felix, I get that those are important items but that does not mean you can mess with other people's feelings. You made your cousin look like a horrible person on the anniversary of his mother's disappearance and you made his friends hate and target him. Your actions caught their akumatization. They could have really hurt Adrien or you... is that what you wanted?"

"What?! No!" Felix gasped, offended as he looked up at the hero. "Look, I really am sorry,"

"It's not me you should be apologizing to, Felix," Anatis stated, still glaring down at him before he pointed to Nino, Alya and Rose. "It's them and your family. Your behavior is selfish and horrible,"

"I... I lost my father-"

"That's no excuse, Felix," Anatis growled, making him look at him. "Adrien lost his mother and he doesn't behave like you,"

Finally, Felix had nothing to say. He looked down as he felt the hero's glare before Anatis sighed.

"I should hand you over to the police for aiding a terrorist..." He stated, making the boy look up at him with fear.

"No, please don't!!" He gasped, getting to his knees. "I'll do anything but please don't give me to the police! I'm sorry!! I didn't plan to work with Hawkmoth!! I just saw a chance and took it!! Please, forgive me!!"

"Anatis, are you really gonna give over to the police?" Alya asked, making the hero frown. "I mean no one is hurt..."

"Lady Noir, would you mind bringing them home?" He asked, holding back a comment to Alya. It took all his will power to not roll his eyes at Alya. He really would have to have a talk with her at some point. Lady Noir nodded and led the three of them away. With the four girls gone, Anatis turned back to Felix, who was still on his knees. "Felix?"

He looked up at him with regretful eyes.

"I will give you one chance and I expect you to use it to change for the good," He stated, glaring down at the young man. "I will be keeping tabs on you and if you decide to throw away this chance, I will punish you and hand you to the police, is that understood?"

"Y-Yes, I won't let you down!" Felix gasped, wiping the tears away from his face before standing up and held out his hand. Anatis looked at it with distrust before carefully shaking it. To his relief, Felix didn't try anything. He just shook it as Anatis' earrings beeped. "I'll try my best,"

"Good," Anatis nodded before sighing. "I have to go. Will you get home ok?"

"Oh, I'll be fine," Felix smiled. "I'll get The Gorilla to pick me up,"

"Alright but I mean what I said, Felix," He stated before throwing his yoyo and disappearing into the city. Felix nodded and took out his phone, dialing The Gorilla's number.

~A Few Days Later~

Felix sighed and stretched as he woke up to his alarm. He got up and headed into the bathroom, splashing his face with water before drying it. He headed back into his room and began to getting ready for the day, thinking as he did. He had honestly expected Anatis to go back on his word but the hero proved to be telling the truth. No police came for Felix and after apologizing to Adrien, he forgave him. Uncle Gabriel, on the hand, was as distance as ever, even after Felix decided to stay in Paris. He had seen how lonely Adrien was and decided to stay to keep him company. It was a small step towards been a better person but it was a start. However, there was no way he was going to stay with Uncle Gabriel. He knew that man hated him and the feeling was mutual. Luckily, there were other people he could stay with. He checked himself in the mirror, nodding before walking down into the kitchen where his aunt and uncle from his father's side were. His father's brother looked up from his news paper with cold eyes and a black coffee in his hand. The resemblance between the two was almost unreal. Felix may look exactly like his cousin but he also looked like his uncle. The only real difference been their age and their eye color. Felix inherited the Graham de Vanily green eyes where his uncle had cold blue eyes. Both, however, favored smart clothes and black coffee. They even shared the same first name. Felix. However, the younger Felix had his mother's surname where as the Older Felix had his father's surname. Culpa.

"Good morning, Uncle Felix," He smiled as he sat down as a woman came in. She was dressed in a white shirt and blue shorts. Her long hair was tied back into pigtails and she had sparkling blue eyes. She was Felix's wife... though he wondered how Felix managed to get a woman like her. She was too kind for his moody uncle. "Good Morning, Aunt Bridgette,"

"Hey, Felix!" She grinned, making a coffee. "Are you ready for your first day at school?"

"Yes," He smiled, nodding. "I'm looking forward to joining Dupont High,"

----------------------------------------------------

Next Chapter: https://ultra-sassyduck.tumblr.com/post/639716531389054976/miraculous-rise-of-anatis-43

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dragonflymage · 4 years ago

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I have various levels to my dreams and it depends on the level as to how often I have that type of dream. I’m not sure if overthinking causes them. But I do know having the dreams causes me to think more after I wake.

Here are my personal dream types:

💙 Normal dreams - 💙 This is a dream that revolves around one or two subjects or symbols. It’s a pretty simple dream. It may or may not make sense. I’ll most likely forget about it when I wake, or by the end of the day. These probably occur at least once a night, if not more.

💙 Weird dreams - 💙 These are similar to Normal dreams except they are truly strange. It’ll mix symbols that make no sense. I’ll wake up wondering what the hell I just dreamed about. These aren’t as common as the Normal dreams. Those that I remember may occur about once a week or two.

💙 Story dreams - 💙 These are dreams that are like I’m watching a movie. I’m either within the mind of the ‘main character’ or I’m an invisible watcher to the events. These can be ordinary stories or can also fall into the Nightmare category. I don’t have these sorts of dreams as often as I used to.

💙 Dreamwalker dreams - 💙 For me, a dreamwalker is someone who can travel in their dreams. I have at least 5 regular locations I visit while I sleep. These are places I know so well that if I ever found them while awake, I’d know exactly where to go to get around. These dreams occur maybe once or twice a month.

💙 Stress dreams - 💙 This is a dream where I wake feeling anxious. The themes usually involve being teased and emotionally tormented. As though I’ve been picked on all night. These dreams occur more often when I’m already feeling stressed about something while awake.

💙 Disaster dreams - 💙 These are dreams about some sort of natural disaster, post-apocalyptic events, or something that is supposed to end the world. Usually, they involve weather or geological events, bombs, or (haha) zombies. I’ve had these fairly regularly my whole life.

💙 Creepy AF dreams - 💙 Similar to a Story dream, but these dreams are one step above a full nightmare. They involve all the scary elements of a nightmare, but I’m not fully interacting with it, nor it with me. Like I’m walking through a created haunted house in someone else’s mind where nothing can touch me. It’s creepy, but overall, not dangerous. I don’t have these dreams very often, maybe once or twice a year, depending on waking situations.

💙 Nightmares - 💙 The worst. These are dreams that are realistic and frightening, leaving me feeling quite traumatized. They are usually a Story dream taken to the extreme. I’ve often wondered if I was trapped inside various random people’s bad memories. I am fully interacting and stuck in the scenario until it unfolds to the end. Though, I have learned how to wake myself up right before I (or the person in the dream) is supposed to die. I used to have Nightmares more often in the past. I rarely have these now.

Here are examples from my dream journal for each of the above types I listed.

💤 **Please know that some of the content below might be SCARY** 💤

⭐ Normal dream - ⭐ I was with a group of people. One of them I know was male. He was a priest or holy man. We were walking together on a dirt road and there were trees around us. There was a clearing where I could see through the trees and I saw mountains way off in the distance. I thought it was so pretty so I took my out camera and snapped pictures. Off to the left of the mountains, I saw a bay. On the bay was a huge bridge that reminded me of the golden gate but it was bigger. Something about the bridge scared me.

I took more pictures. Trees blocked my view so I moved around to try and find a clearer view. The holy man with me said, "you're seeing what you're meant to see. Let it become clear on its own". When I looked back at the bridge it was covered in fog and I couldn't see it anymore.

⭐ Weird dream - ⭐ I was in an old building. It looked like a stone temple. It was dusty. Someone was with me and he was trying to get a spell or a machine to work. There was a big egg-shaped container with a line going longways through it so it could open. It reminded me of a coffin except it was egg-shaped.

I went over to the egg coffin and opened it. Inside was a little boy. I was wondering what a little boy is doing inside the coffin? I touched him and he woke up and I was glad that he wasn't dead. I helped him out of the coffin and he followed me around. He said, "I'm supposed to visit you soon". I said, "but you're visiting me now". He shook his head and said, "no not like this". That's all I remember.

⭐ Story dream - ⭐ The dream went through an entire sequence of events in someone else’s life that spanned about a year. I lived alone in a house that had no lights. I was pregnant and nobody to talk with about it. Two or three older women came to my house to keep me company. They said that they would explain things to me and answer any questions I had. They answered basic questions because I was too afraid to ask what I was really thinking. They offered to stay with me but I told them that I would be fine, so they left. I spent a great deal of time alone and crying.

When I was in the hospital to have the baby, I felt detached from everything. I was pregnant, and then I had a baby. He was a boy and I named him Delancey. I brought him home and in my heart, I was happy he was here, yet there was a sadness in my heart. When it came time to introduce Delancey to other people I knew, I put him in a small stroller. I went to a workplace where I knew some people. They came out and fawned over the baby and were excited about him being there. Again I felt detached and put on a happy face.

There was an office or room inside the workplace that I went into. It was empty and I knew it was the room that belonged to my baby's father. My thoughts lingered on him and how he died before he knew I was even pregnant. I started crying, holding Delancey to my chest, trying to talk out loud to the baby's father that he had a son, and I was so sorry that he wasn't here to share in his life with me. My heart hurt so badly for this woman I shared life with in my dream.

⭐ Dreamwalker dream - ⭐ In this dream, I returned to a dream location I've been in before. The place always feels like India, yet it also feels other-worldly. In past dreams, I'm walking through a marketplace during different stages of prosperity. Sometimes the marketplace is active and thriving, and other times it's desolate with people sitting on the ground as if they're starving.

Last night the location felt desperate. In the dream, I remembered being here before, so I took a good look around to gather my sense of direction. I always entered the marketplace from a path in the near center, and the marketplace extended off to the right and left of me. The ground is not paved. It's covered with red-orange dirt. I always seem to know someone in this location and I went looking for them.

Near the marketplace stood a small hut with a blanket for a door. I stared at it for a long time, but I don't recall why I hesitated to go in. Outside of the hut, a small boy came over to me. His skin was deep brown and his hair was short and black. Indian or Arabic features. I recognized him as he asked, "do you want to buy some?" He had jewelry in his hand.

I looked in my hand and saw that I carried an amulet in the shape of the eye of Horus. It was new and shiny and felt out of place in my surroundings. The boy looked at it and said, "I can give you something better". I asked him, "why are you selling jewelry away from the marketplace?" He looked at me in silence, but his eyes looked very sad. He hurried away before I could say anything more.

I finally went inside the hut. Before I went inside, I knew that something was wrong. Several people were huddled together on the dirt floor. One person cradled the head of a child on his lap. I knew the child was sick, and possibly the others were too. I felt as though I had the capability to heal them but I think I knew I was too late to do any serious help. They pleaded to me to please try. It hurt to look at them, and I knew that my efforts wouldn't save them, but I knelt down and attempted to soothe their pain. The child weakly held my hand and such an overwhelming feeling of helplessness went through me that it pulled me right out of the dream.

⭐ Stress dream - ⭐ In my dream, I saw people outside. One man said to a woman there "I'll buy you ice cream with a cone". The woman looked happy about the ice cream at first. But then she was upset when he mentioned a cone. She walked away. The man didn't know what upset her.

Then I saw a memory inside the woman's thoughts. I shared space with her. The woman was a 5-year-old little girl. She sat in-between her parents on a bench. The girl had won a prize and her prize was an ice cream cone. Her father said he would test the ice cream to see if it was OK. He ate the ice cream and didn't give it back to the girl.

The girl kept saying "can I have some now?" But he wouldn't give it back. He said, "this tastes so good". The girl got upset and started to cry. She looked at her mother and said: "he won't give me my ice cream". Her mother made faces at the girl and repeated what the girl said, repeating it in a teasing voice. The girl cried and the father kept eating the cone until it was gone. The girl didn't get any of the ice cream that was her prize for winning something. I knew she felt very upset because she never had special ice cream like that before.

⭐ Disaster dream - ⭐ In this dream, I was at a beach. I walked in the water out pretty far because the water was shallow. I went out and the water was only at my waist. Then I noticed a disturbance in the water and a large whirlpool appeared. In a short amount of time, all the water in the ocean drained down through a large crack in the ocean floor. I knew that a larger disaster was coming, that an earthquake was going to happen. I went around the beach to all the people who were standing there staring at the empty ocean, trying to warn them that a big earthquake was coming, but no one seemed to hear me or care. I decided to leave the beach and hurried back home. I ran into the house to grab my pets. I had only one cat and two small dogs. I put them into my jeep and called my brother on a cell phone to warn him. He seemed too tired to care. I drove someplace safer.

⭐ Creepy AF dream - ⭐ I was inside a room that was supposed to be my bedroom. There was a man in my room, but I wasn't sure if he was there or not. He stood in the corner of the room watching me and said nothing. I had a creepy feeling so I went to the window. I was on the second floor. Looking down, I saw another man standing there. He wore white and stood very still. He looked right up at me and stared. He didn't move and kept staring at me. I was afraid so I left that window and looked out the other window. Another man wearing white stood very still and stared up at me.

I hurried away and turned to look at the man in my room. He said, "so you can see us, can you?" I wanted to get out of the room, but couldn't find the door. The man walked closer to me and said, "I was going to wait until later. But since you can see me I'm going to kill you now." He had something in his hand and he came closer to me. I sat on the floor and I pushed myself against the wall using my feet. He stood over me and stared at me for a long time. I was still sitting on the floor, but my dead body was laying on the floor in front of me. It scared me so much to see that. The man leaned over my body and talked.

A woman and another person came into the room. She saw my body on the floor and was angry. She picked the man up and took a dagger and stabbed him in the chest many times. Then she threw him on the floor. She looked right at me sitting on the floor and stepped over my body. She told me to follow her and she would find a safe place for me. I was very scared. But I followed her.

⭐ Nightmare - ⭐ I was inside someone's house. Other people were living in this house with me and they were my family. Another stranger lived in the house too. He was very dangerous, but I was the only one who could see him. He took each of my family one at a time and sliced their throats with a long razor. He forced me to watch him doing this. I could see this happening, but the other family members didn't seem to realize what was going on. I tried to tell them they needed to leave the house, but they didn't understand me. He grabbed another person and sliced them too. I saw the razor going into their skin and I saw blood everywhere. He kept doing this until they were all dead.

Then he said he was going to do the same to me. He grabbed me and showed me the razor knife and moved it over my skin. He wasn't cutting me at first. I tried to get away from him. He said he was very sorry and there was no one else left so I was next. Then the other person I shared the dream-thoughts with began talking to him. She was screaming and saying she didn't want to die. I think she was a she. I don't know for sure. I could still see through her eyes and I tried to close my eyes. But I couldn't because her eyes weren't closed. Then the telephone woke me up.

— Those are some of my dreams from over the years. It took me forever to go through them and pick these. I have so many that could’ve worked for each category.

And to answer the original question, there were times when I’ve had nightmares very often and times when they were rare. The frequency seems to depend on what’s taking place in my life. 💗

Thanks for the question. 😊

#infp #infp thoughts #mbti #mbti thoughts #myers-briggs #dream #introvert #nightmare #hsp #emotions #emotional #sensitivity

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luque-moreau · 4 years ago

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y'know i think its about time ive refurbished my psychonauts headcanons/theories

what??? me??? rewriting my psychonauts headcanons in a more comprehensible and informed way???

alright, i think everyone knows what im talking about, by headcanons i mean headcanon as in singular, and as singular, i mean my "raz is somewhere on the spectrum of adhd".

so lets just get into it:

what is adhd actually?

adhd by definition stands for attention deficit hyperactive/hyperfocus disorder (yes, let me get into the details in just a sec). it is a nerodevelopmental disorder that is almost completely reliant on genetic factors, however conditions during pregnancy can sometimes contribute to certain aspects of how adhd manifests itself.

long story short, people with adhd have a smaller frontal lobe, and therefore less dopamine in general (even though yes, it is more complicated than that).

theres also a little bit of "chicken or the egg first" goin on here, certain behaviors or personality tendencies can also affect how adhd is presented in one individual to the next, however its still not clear if that is because it is an accommodating for a certain thought process or if someones experiences and personality shape their symptoms of adhd entirely. its a very blurry line, and the answer is different for everybody.

hyperactive type

hyperactive type is probably the closest to most stereotypical depictions of adhd, think the 5 year old whos parents brush off their child’s hyperactivity as something that will “go with age”. however, this isn’t only present in children, adults with adhd have to deal with a constant need for stimuli to make up for the lack of dopamine their current activity is providing them. this results in someone fidgeting frequently in repetitive or predictable motions, unable to hold attention to a specific task for long periods of time, or many other of the symptoms associated with adhd.(i sadly cannot provide more information in this area, i am not knowledgeable enough to...)

hyperfocus type

hyperfocus type is a tricky one, it can look like the complete opposite of adhd in theory. hyperfocus can look similar to special interests or hyperfixation, a great deal of time and knowledge dedicated to a very particular thing (although it is important to note that even though hyperfixations and special interests are incredibly similar, special interests is a term more typically used within autistic-circles, and isnt really the best word to use if you happen to be neurotypical). Think of maybe that kid who knows all the cool animal facts and won’t shut up about them. Its because certain trains of thought or activities might release more dopamine then others, so to get more of that dopamine, someone of hyperfocus type will be mentally unable to stop thinking or doing a very specific task or topic. this results in someone seemingly always spacing out, unable to change subjects or changing subjects too fast or with little to no correlation, or being completely unable to have enough motivation to do simple things.

personally i tend to fall under the category of hyperfocus myself rather than hyperactive, however the two are not mutually exclusive, its more common to find people with both types rather than just one. even myself, i might exhibit more tendencies to place me under the label of hyperfocus, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have any symptoms of the hyperactive type. its my personality that affects my mannerisms, which then makes certain aspects of my symptoms more or less apparent. Thats because im an INTP-T, i just tend to be more to myself and constantly in a state of thinking abstractly. I have trouble communicating and even sometimes recognizing my needs, and get to a point where im unable to do the simplest of things without feeling emotionally drained. Thats just my experience though, everybodys different.

so what the fuck does this have to do with raz then?

well lets think about it, rather than have it just be me projecting myself onto a comfort character:

raz finds issue with connecting to kids his age

lets be honest. none of the campers really like raz that much. or at least some do the bare minimum to be try and be polite. it doesn’t seem like any of the other campers besides dogen, whos also socially outcasted, are really fond of raz. lili might like him, but that can definitely be interpreted as curiosity in someone new and different from the norm. It might not be that the kids despise him, but nobodys opinionated enough to care whether he is around or not.

social isolation is one of the most damning things i had to experience from an early age and still feel even today. there is a sense of feeling that you are different among your peers, whether that is a good thing or bad thing. it feels difficult to interact with other people you are not familiar with, and can really stunt you emotionally and socially. from a really early age, theres somethin in you that knows something is very different between the experiences of your peers compared to your own, and it can feel incredibly isolating.

raz and his borderline stupidity

time to get real again. raz is a fucking idiot. at least in the sense that sometimes his decisions seem incredibly spontaneous and not really thought through. he runs from home to attend a summer camp, not really thinking about the logistics of how he will get there, how the staff will react, how long its gonna take for his parent to find him, and so on. it doesn’t seem like he over or underestimates his abilities, he just goes for it without considering. that doesnt seem like the smartest thing to do, even though we know hes incredibly intelligent when it comes to larger, abstract situations. its the little details that he misses, small minuet things that seem unimportant that he overlooks, which can sometimes make things harder for him in the end.

i think its obvious that impulsivity is one symptom of adhd. however i cannot stress how difficult it is to think at supersonic speed and still feel incredibly stupid. i mean, thinking faster doesn’t inherently mean you will have better ideas, you can always be stupider faster, but being able to realize stupid mistakes or inconsistencies in your own thought process is annoying as hell. it feels like every time you try to recognize the issue, fix it, and move forward, you only end up not paying attention to another issue that gets bigger and more annoying than the first. Its always two steps forward, one step back, constantly making the same mistakes even though you try everything in your power to avoid them or grow as a person. The simplest of facts, ideas, or just things to remember end up being forgotten, and once youre reminded of them you remember them and feel like an idiot. however, arbitrary things and complex issues are much easier to digest and remember for me, things like history and the whole blame game charade of it all, biology and how every minuet thing has a greater impact on others and intertwines with every single factor of its environment, philosophy and theorizing why we think the way we do and what can be changed. but oh shit, im a dumbass i forgot to do my laundry. shit. god fuckin dammit.

empathy over sympathy

one of the basic themes of psychonauts is empathy. simple as that. raz goes around into other peoples brains, and tries to help them as much as he can, even if his efforts are not always successful in the way he intended. he never demonizes anyone to the point of unredeemability, and can empathize and understand other peoples perspectives. hes open to new ideas and

although some studies out there theorize that empathy is impaired due to adhd, from my perspective i feel like that is simply not true. if anything, i would say the sensitivity that comes with adhd (hypersensitivity) only enhances that empathy. i could definitely see social disconnection being one of the reasons it might appear that someone with adhd is less empathetic, however i would doubt that adhd would impair a persons empathy. adhd tends to also entail heightened emotions, this doesn’t necessarily mean a more outwardly emotional person, however it definitely shifts a persons perspective of their own emotions as well as others. the concept of hypersensitivity also completely contradicts the idea of people with adhd be less empathetic.

miscommunication and disconnect

sigh, the dad thing. yup. raz has that very iffy relationship with his dad at the beginning of the game which is eventually resolved. very abruptly, might i add. but thats not what this is about, thats a topic for another day. miscommunication seemed to be the root of the issue, however we only get razs side of the story. not to mention the severity of his claims and willingness to seemingly drop everything afterwards. kinda sus, ngl.

alright this ones a doosey. this, i feel, cements my theory pretty well. like i mentioned before, social disconnect and hypersensitivity are side effects of the symptoms of adhd. this means people with adhd are highly more likely to either misinterpret someones words or actions if those in question are not completely transparent, its because they tend to overthink and interpenetrate responses with too much thinkin n such. the social disconnect makes a whole lot of it worse, it can just pile on top of already established feelings of inadequacy and isolation. and oversharing as a poor coping mechanism isnt an exclusively adhd related thing, it tends to be shared within similar neruodevelopmental disorders such as autism or even ptsd. i find it incredibly easy to disconnect myself from my own emotions at times and think critically at what i feel and how it affects me. which is a bad thing. if i dont acknowledge my emotions like they are my own for too long, everything falls apart. its not fun. but, that disconnect can make talking about certain more traumatic experiences or instances that had deep personal effects on my life and development as a person much easier to just share. and not always in an appropriate manner, comedic opportunity can be v e r y enticing. this also explains why raz might have been able to drop everything about his dad after he apologized. he didn’t really, he probably still suffers just as much afterwards as he did before. but he probably wont realize that for awhile, since logically, the issue has been resolved. long story short, he has not had the time to cope, and to put that off he detaches himself from those feelings. w a c k

of course i have other reasons why i feel like raz could potentially have adhd, or at least be accurately represented in headcanon with adhd, some minor mentions being:

he uses his camp map as a journal to track his in-game progress, list of goals, and notes/snip-its of information. writing down information on some form of notepad or book is a common tool used by kids and even adults with adhd to help them keep track of minuet, individual tasks. its just using a planner, but with a bit more information.

just from my personal perspective, the lengths raz goes to pursue his dream of being a psychonaut feel more like a special interest/hyper fixation sort of thing. he can jump between having genuine conversations with his fellow campers and just exploring the campground, to investing himself entirely in obtaining his goal, even when it seems almost impossible. thats some serious dedication to one very specific thing, y’know?

this one isnt as solid as the other but: m̶̖̰̯̫̍͝o̵̦͖̟͈̹̤̥̝͐̿̄̀̀̎̓ņ̶̛̭̠̐̊̆̍͝ķ̸̝͈̺̙̰̊e̶͉͚̼̅̔͗̂͐̍̕͝͝y̶̦̖̼͖̪͎̝̖̠̐̑͋̾̔̑́͐͘ ̵̢̲̘͎͉̔̀͒̄͌͊̀͌̀m̴̲̫̮̪̖̍̐͆̕͜͝ͅả̶͙͚͗n̶̗̳̩̙̘̼̦̦͇͝ ̷̡̨̡͔̗͕̘͍̥̑͒̎̐̃g̴͔̔̈̅̐̏́̌̔̈́́o̶̥̱̽̆̂͌̀͗ ̶̝̩͙͕͛́s̴̛͓̥̲̜͓͚̣̠̆̓̌͌p̶̜̹̯̦̫̯̣̎͐̽̉̾ḙ̴͇̬͑̈́̐̈́͘͠ͅȅ̶̡̗̞̩͔̫̪͈͑̓͗d̵̠͇͎̜͔͇͒̈́́̀̅̈́̒͘y̸̡̦̠̻̖̥̿ͅ. yeah, its the most generalizing reason but look, hes moving nonstop the entire game, climbing and running around the entire goddamn place wrecking havoc. a bit of imp can be found in most people with adhd if you look hard enough.

so thanks for reading this far i guess? im oversharing even right now with this, like an i d i o t but yknow what i dont want to read the great gatsby rn, so ive got nothin better to do. who knows, maybe the second game will give us more info to either support/discredit this theory? gotta wait for pn2 i guess

:^)

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #theory #headcanon #razputin aquato #this is real biased #isnt it

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