#am I being psychotic?
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#*sigh*#I fear I may have somehow fumbled the bag with this man#so Friday night he let me know he wasn’t gonna be able to come over#and that was fine#so I went to bed#then at like 2am he asked if I was still awake#I of course didn’t see that until much later#I was busy Saturday and texted him late Saturday night with a pic of my fit#and we were being flirty#neither of us messaged the other on Sunday#then yesterday around 5pm I messaged him and asked if he was busy that night#no response#I thought maybe he’d text way later or even early this morning#because he works super early and has texted me at like 6:30am before but there was nothing#when we were messaging Friday he said things like it’ll make the next time we meet up even better#and when I sent him the pic of my fit he was like I can’t wait to see what your clothes look like on the floor#and all I wanna do I ride this man’s dick#so now I feel like I did something wrong#I really hope he’s not gonna ghost me#we’re still matched on bumble so that’s a good sign right?#but I guess now I just need to wait for him to message me because I don’t want to send another text that might go unanswered#am I being psychotic?
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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Can people stop fucking using the term “delulu” or using “delusional” improperly can people stop making light of symptoms of mental illness if you are not affected by it.
It is like saying “Oh I’m so OCD” for just wanting everything to be clean or something
Shut the fuck up
You are not delusional just for having a crush on somebody who does not like you back or for wanting something that is generally unlikely to happen
Stop using mental illness as your quirky little fun language I bet the second you see someone who experiences delusions you will get extremely uncomfortable and want them out of your sight
#I do not even know what to tag this I am just tired#Can people stop being ableist to psychotic people for ONCE.#Please.#Actually psychotic#Psychosis#Delusions#Delusional#Schizophrenia#Schizophrenic
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Jason: so yeah I’m on mood stabilizers now
Tim: for the pit madness?
Jason: 🤨 no it’s cause I’m bipolar. What the fuck is pit madness?
#I am very much team Jason is just normally mentally ill. Bipolar is just a little theory of mine but the ptsd is for SURE#In bftc he experiences what could be called a psychotic break down but since he’s the villain it’s framed as his mental illness being his#fault because he’s broken but he won’t kiss the feet of Saint Batman and accept his help. And funny enough I think Daniels is the 1st#person to use pit madness as an explanation for Jason’s behavior. And then in lost days it’s kinda hinted at#but it’s not used consistently. And because ‘pit madness’ is an inconsistent explanation I am ignoring it and deciding he’s just got#normal mental illness. As one might expect considering everything#Jason Todd#dc
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hiiiiiii friendly reminder to not go knocking on strangers doors and running away :)) or just doing that at all :) some of us have sheer paranoia that can render us stressed for time long after the action is done :) because you don’t experience consequences doesn’t mean you’re free to go around doing this like a fucking asshole. :). I know most people who’d listen to this don’t go around doing it but I hope that at least one person reconsiders doing this just to look cool in front of their friends. You don’t seem awesome, you just make it clear your an uncaring asshole and nobody will come to you. I hope karma does its thing. :)
#No because my fucking heart sank when some dumb ass kid just approached my home then harshly knocked#They ran away. Of course they did. I’d fucking deal with them should they have not. What cowards.#But fuck. I don’t like when my hands shake to the point of not even being able to properly hold a phone.#I still am thinking about it today#even tho it happened a day ago#paranoia isn’t a fucking fun thing#psychosis#schizoaffective#actually psychotic#schizo spectrum#actually schizospec#schizophrenia#ehhhhh just for the tags I’m unsure if I have schizo but like yk#paranoia#bipolar disorder#venting#mental illness#high school#college#student#dumbasses#schizoposting#reminder
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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npd culture is being ashamed to call your delusions of grandeur delusions of grandeur. because "i'm not like. actually delusional. i don't have any kind of psychosis. i'm just setting goals for myself :))" and then the goals are like. be globally beloved forever make all your friends go viral be recognized as the coolest hippest person in the world defeat ableism forever. all before i reach 30.
-lamb
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#i am psychotic but i do relate to being hesitant to say i have delusions of grandeur#npd culture is#npd#actually narcissistic#actually npd#narcissistic personality disorder#cluster b#-lamb
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hey ever considered if. MAYBE the mayor likes you. that’s why they stick around????💀
MASTER POST
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#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk#lmk fanart#monkie kid macaque#lmk macaque#blue and violet#he is not very convinced in believing the Mayor likes him#because... how could they?#its really weird betweent these two righy now#but Macaque probably believes that Mayor's personality is so out of wack that they could be emotionally vulnerable and passive one moment#psychotic angry sobbing mess in the next#Macaque is not taking any chances in believing he is on the Mayor's good side again#but again - its complicated#really really really complicated#so complicated that I don't know if I am writing this relationship correctly and depicting things the way they should be depicted#but don't think Macaque doesn't remembered those prison moments#he knows the Mayor wanted something 'better' between the two#but can Macaque really afford to believe that when its literally the Mayor who says that?#regardless - being on better terms with someone doesn't actually mean you have to like them#it is simply: getting along a little bit better#BUT THEN AGAIN THE MAYOR SAID THAT BEFORE LBD DIED SO THIS IS EVEN MORE COMPLICATED
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i don't miss kinblr, but i miss people being open about their delusions and generally having a sense of whimsy about them instead of focusing on repressing them so hard that they become a bitter unpleasant person who mocks anyone who even somewhat seems like theyre a "kinnie" from 2017.
#house creaks#i am a psychotic person who has a schizophrenic mother. i had early onset psychosis. my moms side of the family have experienced religious#psychosis my entire life. kinning ended up being a healthier way for me to cope with pretty much everything in my life. and while i dont#want to go back EVER to how it was in 2015 i do wish there was a post-kin movement. make art about those experiences god damn it
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Jokes on you, I’ll NEVER give up hope that Prodigal Son can be renewed. NEVER.
#prodigal son#yes I am rewatching and remembering how beautiful it was#the show starts with Malcolm returning to the city after being away from years it could easily be picked up again in the same way#Malcolm went through a lot by the end of season 2 he could totally be working through a psychotic break all these years#renew prodigal son#malcolm bright#dani powell#gil arroyo#jessica whitly#ainsley whitly#jt tarmel#martin whitly
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push that thing down the stairs
#SQIRNK SKNK SQKNK SWEK SQUENK#sound of them falling#squeaky sal#ocs#fursona#pooltoy#i am. mentally doing awful so working on this next comic has been a little cathartic (( youll see later )) and also destroying me. a bit.#i want it to be a bit longer but i dunno how to fluff it up#but i dunno having psychotic episdes and feeling unsafe and being alone 24 7 hasnt been helping with all the stuff thats currently going on#i dont really have anyone to talk to so im rambiling here#you dont have to read this btw#i dotn wanna be negitive on my blog and keep stuff happy adn fun ebcause i dont wanna be saf#*sad#mm
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the soulless jack “arc” is both very horrifically sad and very horrifically funny bc on one side everybody is freaking out panicking brandishing weapons thinking that jack went dark side slash rogue slash awol or that he finally succumbed to his dominant evil genetics and betrayed them or something , meanwhile jack on the other side is almost-crying and panicking and hallucinating and literally punching the air because he’s so upset and confused about what he did and afraid that he’s gonna lose everything if he can’t fix it . like
Bobby: yerp he’s too outta control and sick I’m sorry I fought alongside him too but we gotta put the dog down boys he clearly chose his side and was obviously genetically predisposed to being evil anyways. I’m gonna get my gun
Jack: IF I DONT BRING HER BACK AND FIX THIS I AM NEVER FUCKING SEEING THEM AGAIN AND THEY’LL NEVER WANNA BE FRIENDS AGAIN I DONT KNOW WHAT TO FUCKING DO I JUST WANT MY MOM I JUST WANNA GO HOME I AND HAVE EVERYTHING BE LIKE IT WAS PLEASE GOD
#I am plagued with thoughts of soulless jack tonight#cal.txt#spn#jack kline#sam winchester#dean winchester#castiel#tfw2.0#spn 14x18#spn 14x17#save me spn rewatch that I’m never starting …. save me ….#save me jack kline or Perhaps I need to save you from being in a bad show#save me unattainable dreams of an idw comic spinoff or sequel or animate crossovers that feature jack in fuller length and more complexity#I need to take a break from this it’s silent hill time#my boy was Stressing he was literally psychotic with grief and guilt and Bobby is like . ‘hm yeap. he got evil rabies now’#he’s sooooooooo#explodes#spn shitposts
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yknow i really do wish the lsers would evaluate their ableism/sanism problem at some point but i doubt thats ever gonna happen considering that shits normal in society and barely seen as a problem even in leftist spaces
#mine.txt#like id Like to watch streams without getting genuinely upset but i suppose thats too much to ask for#like no amount of warcrimes or mean behaviour will get me to genuinely feel hatred for a cc#ableism on the other hand....#the funniest thing is thats not even enough for me to write them off as a bad person cause that shit really is just that normal#like i can still genuinely like a cc while hating them for doing an ableism#like it really is just that normal#its everywhere from everyone all the time forever and i doubt we'll ever truly escape it#cause its either a cool little aesthetic you can slap onto yourself to make yourself more interesting#(im talking about ppl who like to go ''oh im such a psycho'' for being edgy while demonizing actual psychotics and the like btw)#an easy way to hurt someone you dislike#or just. normal.#i sound like im giving up and i suppose i technically am#but like genuinely in order to navigate reality and be able to enjoy things you just kinda have to reckon with the fact that#when youre someone like me; at least on Some level; the ppl around you hate you even when they love you
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I feel so much emotions sometimes, I wonder if people within the schizo-spec relate to it.
Like it's. Huge.
The biggest emotions, moving, crashing down on me, but they have no name. I can't know, for the love of God, what they are. They're just here and crushing me and overwhelming me. Making me paralysed and stuck and wrong.
And some other times, generally when I'm supposed to feel joy, pure joy, content, happiness, euphoria, whatever you wanna call it, I feel nothing and really want to be alone at home rather than surrounded by those people, even if i know them.
I'm realising that often, I fake happiness because I'm supposed to be happy, but really, i feel neutral or even annoyed.
For example, I was at my first ever pride. It was big, colourful, loud, people smiling and laughing and dancing and singing, my friends deeply enjoying themselves...
But honestly. I would have rather been home, doing my usual stuff.
I love my friends, I love my job, I love my coworkers, I even love people, but I like being alone better. I like being in my own little calm corner. Or not calm. But my corner.
Sorry for the rant. DAE within schizo-spec relate ?
#schizo spectrum#schizotypal personality disorder#mental illness#schizophrenia#schizophrenic spectrum#schizotypal#psychosis#disorganized speech#paranoia#psychotic disorders#is this some form of seclusion ?#am i using this word right?#negative symptoms#this is not being introverted#i'm not introverted#i feel like this is something else idk
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Guy who can see the dead, but he's being treated for schizophrenia and the meds don't do much but the whole 'make sure someone else can see whoever you're being introduced to' policy is working out. Who's that woman standing over the baby? Oh, she doesn't exist? Probably fine then.
And it is probably fine, because most people die gently these days! Everyone talks about what a good baby he was (because his dead grandparents would put him back to sleep when he stirred). Every so often he waves at someone in the street and is told they died a week ago (awkward, schizophrenia, sorry).
And then he goes to a military graveyard.
#for extra hijinks#it turns out he DOES actually have schizophrenia too#so he's juggling being a poster boy for the condition#with having what his therapist thinks is a psychotic break#with figuring out which people are fake and which are dead#with suddenly becoming an anti-military activist and trying to get his best friend out of the army#oooh call it Veterans Dave#fic request#not so much because I want it or am going to write it#as just an organizational thing
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can anyone on this website please acknowledge ADHD as a serious and debilitating disorder, or are we going to forever treat it as a mild disorder that just the people who aren't really mentally ill use as an excuse to invalidate the real mental illness havers.
like you guys regularly invalidate ADHD experiences, and then act like mild/moderate at most experiences are actually severe ADHD and therefore people with severe ADHD are totally represented everywhere. just because severe ADHD doesn't have clear-cut definition like level two/three autism doesn't mean you can act like having any actual struggles with ADHD is having severe ADHD.
stop treating autism as inherently more severe than ADHD, and fucking stop using pwADHD as these drama queens that aren't really mentally ill.
#before you fuckers act like im being a bitch#i have level two autism. i have many other disorders. i also have one of the most severe ADHD cases my specialist had ever seen.#my autism is debilitating. i have severe PTSD. i have PDs that ruin my ability to trust people. i am psychotic#i would get rid of my ADHD first. without question
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