#always scared to lose but surviving nonetheless

[cantagirldrawinpeace]

EVERY DAY!!! I THINK ABOUT THIS EVERY DAY!!! AND NOW I WILL THINK OF IT MORE BECAUSE U SAID IT SO WELL AND POINTED OUT N E W THINGS AND

Agghhgggug

Sabo analysis time!!!!

Do you guys ever think about how Sabo didn't visit Dressrosa to see Luffy again? And him meeting up with Luffy was probably his very last option to secure the fruit, otherwise he would probably avoid it? Cuz i do…

Let me elaborate.

So here's what we know from the source material:

We know Sabo and the other revolutionaries were there since the early morning since Hack was already inside the coliseum for RevArmy snooping reasons.

The prize of the Tournament was revealed after the Revs were already there.

Sabo/Koala were not in contact with Robin to know if the straw hats were anywhere near Dressrosa as seen by Koala saying "I hear Robin-san’s here in this country, too."

Sabo confronted Luffy about getting the Mera-Mera No Mi only after Hack lost during Block B and Luffy got out of his own block.

I had always assumed that Sabo showed up to Dressrosa for the Mera-Mera No Mi and meeting Luffy, but that really isn't the case. Idk why it took me so long to figure that out, it’s literally shown in the Episode of Sabo (EOS) explicitly. Although, the EOS isn't exactly source material. I cant find anywhere stating whether its canon or not, but I cant find anything that would have it conflict with the original plot so i see no reason why it wouldn’t be. All that evidence from before is canon though so even without the EOS, this claim still holds water.

Speaking more of the evidence we have from of the episode of Sabo, we see him snooping around the Colosseum during the tournament, we see the moment he realizes that Luffy is participating in the event, and we see the moment he realizes that Luffy cant participate any further.

Like look at him here. He looks absolutely unprepared for what he knows he has to do. And after this in the scene right before he starts talking with Luffy, he’s like literally walking to him as slowly as he possibly can. Taking pauses in his stride to probably think about how much of a bad idea this is.

Plus, at the beginning of the episode when he’s visiting Ace’s grave, he says “I guess both you and Luffy are both mad at me.”

Sabo has had so many opportunities to meet up with Luffy before he actually does, both in Dressrosa and since he regains his memory. But he doesnt. Because he cant. Because he’s terrified of being met with scorn, anger, or even violence from his beloved little brother.

Finally, we see him plucking up the courage to walk over to luffy. All surroundings are silent besides the loud footsteps coming from his approach echoing in the hallway.

Step. Step. Step. Step. Step. Step. Step. Step.

Then he stops.

Its dead quiet.

Sabo has been pretty much deadpan this entire time, but he then smiles before he says

“I wont let you have the Mera Mera No Mi, ‘Straw hat’ Luffy.”

This is a fairly serious thing that he’s saying to this man in a fake beard and outrageous helmet, and he’s terrified of this meeting with his brother, but he cant help but smile when he’s talking with him.

The conversation that continues is very confrontational, but suddenly something clicks in Luffy’s mind. His body relaxes from it’s tense posture, he starts to tear up, his speech slows,

Then he starts to scream with recognition.

That’s his big brother.

He’s alive…

He’s Alive!!!

He’s here! Right here! Right where he should be!

Alive. Living. Free!

Luffy GRABS Sabo’s face and propels himself towards him. Suffocating and probably giving his brother whiplash in that second within that assault-hug.

All of a sudden, Sabo’s fears of scorn, anger and violence all wash away.

Luffy loves him.

They have each other now.

And now, Sabo is on his way to get that god damn fruit.

Sabo absolutely didn’t think he was ready for this re-connection, but he’s so glad he went through with it.

He has his brother back, his other brother’s powers, and the bragging rights of being able to flaunt both.

This is what I'm sayin with the "seems like fire favors these brothers" post I made. The fact that both the mera mera no mi and Luffy and Sabo were all in the same place to come together at once is a crazy coincidence. How many coincidences does it take, for a happenstance to be Fate? Probably that amount.

In conclusion:

Get this man a therapist. Please.

Heres another sabo analysis if you wanna hear more

Thank you for reading my ramblings about a fictional man. I think about him a completely average amount.

[crustyfloor]

Luka is very good at keeping himself composed on stage, mostly with the help of maintaining track of his heart rate, but during Mizi's attack in ROMH he seemed to slip up, not only was the red background a tell-tale sign of Mizi's violent intentions but it was a more symbolic way of showing Luka in quite visceral fear. Even if for only a second.

I'm not convinced Luka will be as continuously calculated as he normally comes off, it all seems too fake to me. Because it is. It’s a similar case to Ivan who can't feel, isn't normal, isn't human enough so he makes a persona to blend in. So Luka, whoever he is, makes this version of himself to cope with what he has to live through, pretending like he's on top of it all to survive in this world.

So in round 7, I think something drastic will happen to make him 'snap' in a way.

It's safe to say that we don't know Luka. We don't know who he really is. We don't know his real desires. But we do know one thing--he is scared. he is afraid of the aliens. That's why he appeases them--being their trophy. He's only kept around for his purpose as an entertainer and nothing else and he's very aware of that. He knows very well that a dented trophy will be discarded; with that mindset, he's been able to get so far, and he's scared of losing. That's why he holds any little thing he can get his hands on close. And an important extension of that fear is his fear of losing power.

Till should be the more likely in this position, given he's such a rebel. But isn't that just too predictable? Keep in mind, that Till is a strong person. Even after all he's been through, even after he's been beaten into something more manageable for the aliens--He still hasn't lost his spark. Till is a raging storm. subdued but nonetheless a force to be reckoned with.

Round 6's effect on Till is greatly ambiguous for now but at this point when the time for round 7 comes, Till has been put through so much hell. Whatever Luka does to provoke him probably won't work, he and Luka are equally talented individuals and will make for an intense battle, and at the end of the day, the numbers won't lie. Exactly that is what Luka is ready for but scared of--a worthy opponent for the throne. Someone capable of stripping him of his power. (Is fear what makes Luka so dismissive?)

It would be so aggravating that this 'pest'. who is so indignant, so rebellious (in a way Luka envies.), could so easily destroy everything Luka has worked for, disregard every pain Luka has been through to get to this point, and Till doesn't value this throne as much as Luka does, and Luka doesn't want to feel the pain of death anymore. If his facade is as destructible as I think it is, that will be what ultimately brings out Luka.

This idea may be flawed. Luka is so perfect, too perfect and confident and experienced for something as little as that to break him, just think of all the training Luka went through to get to this point. I'm positive he's very aware of what playing unfairly will lead to. But isn't there always room for a wild card?

Just remember what happened to Hyun-woo.

What happened here isn't fully explained (and probably will be in round 7) but imagine Luka: "Trophy child, goody two shoes" Luka possibly killing another human. Whether by accident or not, what happened?--what and how did Luka feel in the moment for the repercussions of whatever happened to be that bad?

A Luka that is secretly greatly insecure, pliable, and defensive enough that in a spur of emotions, he can’t help but lose his cool in a way he hasn’t in a while because he’s afraid—just to try and prove he is still valuable. That is the type of character I theorize we'll come to see in round 7.

[kgymstlle]

with love, venus

apocalypse au / tsukishima x fem! reader

cw: mentions of death and suicide

— a letter to the boy who you utterly fell inlove with during the end of the world.

my dearest kei,

if you're reading this, then you've followed my instructions to only open this letter only either when i'm gone, or if we've reached inside the walls of the safe haven. before anything else, please don't blame yourself if something bad happens to me. we both know we couldn't do anything about this goddamn apocalypse.

meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. sure, we didn't exactly have a good start (you were very rude to me) but only because i tried to steal what you were trying to loot in the abandoned supermarket where we met. i admit, it really takes a lot of patience to tolerate someone as spontaneous as me. despite me annoying the hell out of you every single day for the past six months since we met, i felt the affection you give me become stronger every single day that passes by.

i never thought that i'd ever fall inlove again, especially in this situation. i distinctly remember being in denial when i was questioning myself about how i felt towards you. i didn't want to admit it, because if i did then it would actually be real.

you kept me sane during the literal end of the world, and that's actually quite impressive. i can no longer imagine a life without you, kei. i know that we're lucky enough if we get to live another day in this chaos, and if we ever make it to the safe haven i want to settle down and grow old with you. god i really hope you won't get the chance to read this letter for the bad reason. for the first time in my life, i'm actually scared to die. i've finally found a purpose to keep living, but at what cost? why does it have to be under this circumstance?

if it comes down to it i want you to be the one who gets to witness dawn again. you've already been through enough, i've seen it with my own eyes. you've already suffered too much pain losing your companions. you deserve to live a tranquil life, my kei. i really need to get you to the safe haven. it is my only goal left.

as i'm writing this, the time is around midnight, and you are sleeping soundly beside me. we have less than a mile left to the safe haven, but i'm afraid the next area on our route is heavily infested with those things. we'll leave right before dawn. we head west and follow the bright star that follows the sun after setting venus. i've always thought of it as one of the stars, not until you corrected me about it. you said that venus is the brightest planet and that it was based off the roman goddess of beauty and love. you call me that every now and then since the moment you kissed me for the first time confessed but i'm not quite too sure if the goddess would appreciate that. nonetheless, i appreciate it.

only read this next part if i meet my fate:

don't do anything stupid, kei. don't go after me, don't try to fight off those things if we get swarmed, don't bring their attention to you— run. saving me wouldn't matter anymore if i got bitten.

i'll most likely ask you to kill put me down if it's too late for me. i really hope you don't hesitate. if you do, i'll do it myself. i'd rather you not see me as one of those things.

when you're sure that i'm no longer breathing, take all the essential items in my bag. even my share of the supplies and food.

go on without me. i know you well enough that you'd consider still bringing me to the safe haven, but your chances or surviving will increase more if you aren't dragging a body behind your back. just leave me.

take my necklace and wear it always.

when you get to the safe haven, that's only where i want you to make a grave for me. and when you do, make sure to change my last name to yours. i want to be remembered that way forever.

lastly, i hope you live a great life, my love. i love you more than you could ever imagine. i promise i'll always meet you in our next lives. you deserve to live the rest of this life in peace.

alright, i'm about to wake you up. god you look so cute when you sleep. it makes me want to wake up next to you each morning. i love you.

p.s. - if we ever actually make it there together, let's get married! okay that's all, i really need to wake you up now, we've got a tough journey ahead of us.

with love, venus

[e-m-ma-lmfao]

A Noble Woman

pairing : noble!astarion x (fem)reader

summary : you have always dreamed of being a noble, he wishes to fulfill this dream.. albeit it through force and bribery.

warnings : alcohol, drugging, emetophobia.

As a young girl, running free through the streets of Baldur's Gate, your parents filled you with the rules to survive. Be wary of strangers, be compliant when faced with the law, stay out of trouble. But most importantly, being surrounded by lords and dukes all residing in their towers and palaces, you were taught respect. That is, to keep your head down as you passed their residencies, taught not to let your real thoughts about the nobility slip out from behind clenched teeth. They were important and you were to treat them that way. 

You were born modest. Your parents were never struggling but you certainly weren’t living lavishly. There was never quite enough money left for anything fun at the end of the month. No money for you to frolic around in fancy dresses. But still you grew to be spoiled. You were enraptured by the importance of nobility, how could status make someone so scary that no one would even mutter a word of insult behind their backs? You didn’t know. But you craved to know. You craved to feel important. To sit in your giant palace and stare over the people of Baldur's Gate, to be loved by the masses, for the people to be scared of you 

In the beginning, they indulged you, believing that this obsession with lavish living would pass. But as you grew older, your parents became fearful that your attitude of self-importance was not so much a childhood phase but rather a permanent mindset. Your respect for them, or more honestly everyone, was dwindling. 

You became rather conceited. In a way that benefited you. Your parents were dull, and were no longer putting up with your tiresome behavior, so you became fairly independent. It was your own way of preparing yourself for nobility, you saw it as making up for the laziness you would lose yourself in after taking a seat on a throne. 

Years passed and you grew into yourself, you would no longer lower your head when passing by large castles and palaces but would instead stare longingly. Hoping to catch a glimpse of any sign of life, any sign that this life was achievable. On occasion you would approach the gates, letting your hands rest on the iron bars keeping you out. The smell of metal often lingered on your finger tips. 

You would no longer talk quietly when discussing the nobles, in fact you would often raise your voice and talk as if you were untouchable. A bad habit that could easily get you killed, but you paid no mind. 

In all your years of fascination, you realized, you had never truly seen any of the nobles that interested you. You only knew of their names. Only read about them in the tabloids, which most spoke of misinformation and rumors. Easily dismissed rumors, but they entertained you nonetheless. 

The lord that interested you the most, the one who’s palace you longed to take for yourself, was a man’s. The thought of a man sitting on a throne that would one day belong to you was the root of your annoyance, always. “No man is deserving of such things”, you would speak to your friends freely whilst they hushed you and peered around anxiously, in fear of Cazador Szarr. You assured them time and time again that nothing was going to happen to you. 

“One of these days, someone is going to hear you and report back to him. He will come for you, and what will you do then?”

“Please. The lords are no threat, let him come. Besides, I’ve never even seen him leave that place.” You let out an amused chuckle as your friend's eyebrows furrow, “I hear rumors, that Cazador is a vampire.”

“Lower your voice.. if he was, shouldn’t that make you more afraid?”

“Afraid of a bat in a man's body?” The idea has you laughing. 

“I wish you’d be more careful, especially with your words.” 

“No one ever got anywhere being careful.” You roll your eyes, suddenly bored of the conversation. The hairs on the back of your neck are standing at attention, the feeling of someone's eyes on you is swimming through you. But when you look around to find the eyes, you are left with nothing and the feeling disappears. You think nothing of it, the feeling slips from your insatiable mind and you're already thinking of something else. 

That night, when your friends say their goodbyes, their speech is wobbly and mushed together. Or maybe, it’s not so much that they are speaking strangely, but rather that you have had far too much to drink and your head began spinning near hours ago. You were never a heavy drinker, and you were entirely uncertain how you managed to become so woozy from a few drinks.

You have not moved from your seat, you are scared that if you stand you will make a fool of yourself and stumble around until eventually you hit the floor. How will you become a noble woman if you are known as the nearest drunkard? 

So instead you stay seated, and you scan your surroundings, drunkenly of course. You search for anyone, or anything, that might ground you and help you to sober up enough to leave the bar. You swear your eyes are almost crossed from how blurry your vision has become, it is entirely too hard to focus on the people around you. But, your eyes find a resting place when they reach the bar and you realize that you are not the only one who has analyzed the bar. 

A man stands behind the counter. Brown hair. Fair skin. He’s tall, but not skinny tall, rather muscular, broad shouldered tall. His appearance alone has your stomach stirring with lust. 

Lust?

No. That couldn't be right. You never lusted after men. You would never allow yourself to lust after a man, noble or not. The only thing you felt lust for was power, wealth, and status. Not some average, stupidly attractive, barman. 

You glance down at your empty cup and the thought stirs in you that you had not ordered the last few drinks, nor had you gotten up to get them yourself. Were you seriously so engrossed in unnecessary gossip that you had drunk from the cup of a stranger?

Your head spins. The time feels so uncertain in your head, whether you have been staring at your cup for minutes or hours you are unsure. But your stomach is beginning to churn, not from lust, from fear. For the first time in your life you are willing to be dependent on someone, but everyone who you trust has left. A hand lands on the table in front of you, causing your eyes to avert from your cup up to the face of the barman. 

He speaks, but you hear no words. Your thoughts are loud. A look of hunger is overwhelming your features, you can show nothing else for that is all you feel. He wears a grin on his handsome, chiseled face. He asks a question, you think, and you find yourself naively nodding along to whatever he says. You hope that he has asked to take you home, undress you slowly, and bed you until you no longer wish to leave. 

And for a second, when he takes your hand in his much larger one, you almost think your hopes are reality. Your fingers play with his arms, his shirt, his hair. Your hands have run themselves over every part of his torso before you even made it out of the bar. He leads you behind the building, and the pool of lust in your stomach gravitates between your legs. You had never made love in public before. 

But suddenly your world is whirled around, quite literally, as he heaves you over his broad shoulders and begins walking. Your head is even heavier from this angle. You do your best to protest, but your arms only weakly make contact with his lower back. You try, you really try, to keep conscious. But eventually the darkness of the night is indistinguishable from the darkness of your closed eyelids, and you crash into heavy slumber. 

When you wake you are met with the coldness of cobblestone cellar flooring pressing against your face. The gravely texture scratches at your skin as you stir. It takes a minute for you to sit up, hands supporting your woozy body as you take in your surroundings. It’s dark, and cold. The only light is a torch mounted on the wall outside of your cell. 

Your cell. 

You realize all too suddenly that you are trapped between cobblestones walls and iron bars. The lit hall on the other side is taunting you, though it doesn't look very free either. Panic settles in your stomach, and you feel your exciting night of drinks retreating from your stomach. The contents of your stomach decorate your cell floor now, spit falls to your chin which you wipe away with the back of your previously manicured hand. Steps echo as they approach.

“Ah.. good morning, pet. It seems we need to get you cleaned up, yes?”

Your eyes take a moment to focus on the figure standing in front of the bars. It's a man. Tall and thin. His figure alone would have you assuming he stood the same as your family. Modest. He did not fit the stereotype of fat and overfed. But the fabrics decorating his body, the fanciest and finest you ever seen this closely, had you sure he was a wealthy man.

You move your thoughts along to meet his face.

His hair white and curly, curling around his ears. An elf, you assume by the size of his ears. The light is reflecting off his pale skin from beside him. His face is pointed, and he looks down at you with an amused smirk.

It has you blood boiling when you remember the position you're currently seated in. You stand on wobbly knees, approaching the bars with unprecedented speed.

He merely steps back when your hands reach through the space between. 

“Let. me. out of here!” You lunge for him again, but it only earns you a sore shoulder. 

��“Atatat..” He clicks his tongue at you, mocking you with his eyes, “Not very ladylike are you.. for a girl who wishes to rule.” He watches intently as your face contorts through fear, and anger and finally rides out into the stillness of someone who has practiced her poker face for years. 

You breathe heavily, trying to keep a steady rhythm of air through your nose, “Who are you?” You know it’s not working by the way his gaze remains transfixed on you, amused, like you are here for his own personal entertainment. He knows you're scared, he can see right through you. 

He doesn't reply, merely smiles. He points his finger to the crest decorating the arm of his tunic, the Szarr family crest. You fail to notice the splatters of blood that have been stained within the expensive fabric.

“Cazador.. I’m in the Szarr palace...” He seems to scowl at your voice, scoffing, as if he offended. Of what you are not immediately sure.

“No dear. My name’s Astarion,” He says it with flair, like you should be impressed by his title, “I’m afraid the Szarr palace is under new rule, I had to replace him because.. oh how did you put it.. no man is deserving of such things.” 

Your brow furrows at this, “You too are a man, are you not?” You take a step away from the bars, arms crossed defensively. In the back of your mind you want to scream and spit and gnaw at these bars until your teeth fall out but, while still thinking through the dizziness of being drugged, it is better if you remain stoic. Perhaps he will grow bored and let you return home. 

“I am no man.” He smiles, swiping his teeth across his teeth. Stopping at a particularly sharp tooth. It’s a fang. He closes his mouth but it doesn’t close the gate of thoughts that flood your brain in an instance. This man is not Cazador. But he is a vampire as the rumors claimed. You are going to die in the darkness of a clammy cellar, like a dirty mouse that has been trapped by a much bigger cat.

Your heart pounds, and with the way his eyes light up it almost feels like he hears it. 

“Don’t worry little mouse,” Your brows furrow once more, “I’m not going to eat you.. yet.”

“My family will come for me.” When the words leave your lips they are true and you are sure of it, but by the way his smirk seems to widen to an entertained smile your trust in the statement falters. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure. Would you like to see what your parents are doing right now? I can take you to them, if you promise not to run.” 

Staring into his eyes, approaching the bars once more, you search for any sign of deceit but you find none, so you nod with a heavy swallow. When his bony fingers reach to unlock the door, opening it for you to step out, you truly contemplate running. But when running through the odds in your head, they are not in your favor. You tried to remind yourself he was taking you to your parents as he wrapped his cold hand around your upper arm tightly, leading you like an animal in front of him. 

“Promise you'll be a good girl.” You sneer at him, pain flashing across your eyes as his fingers dig into your skin.

Begrudgingly, you nod your head, letting out a soft breath when his grip loosens. You can feel your pulse throbbing where his fingers have most likely left bruised circles. 

The pathway out of the palace cellar consists of dark, stone staircases, and a couple times you almost trip. It is during those times, and only those times, that you are thankful to have his grip holding you so tight. When you reach the top you expect light to flood your eyes, and you almost hope he will burst into flames from the sun, but no such light reaches your eyes. It is hidden behind curtains that have all been drawn closed, it spills out from the sides and it makes your heart drop to think you may never see it again. 

He leads you down a hallway where debris lines the floors. The carpets, all red, have all been stained with an even deeper red that has your stomach swirling nervously once more. You have to swallow down the acid that threatens to spill from the bottom of your stomach. If you weren't careful that could be your blood, decorating his disgusting carpets. 

You look up and see paintings lining the walls. They look expensive, or rather you think they might have looked expensive if they weren't sitting awkwardly on the wall with rips through them. One of a man with black hair, his eyes seeming to bore into your own as if he was alive, is decorated with blood. It’s practically shredded but for some reason his torso and face remain intact enough to be recognizable. Maybe Astarion has kept it as a reminder. 

Finally you reach a room, you're confused but you hear murmuring from inside so you reach for the door handle. But his hand catches your wrist before you reach it, letting go to put a finger to his lips. His voice is hushed, “quiet my little mouse.” But he motions for you to look through the crack of the door. You do. 

Inside your parents stand, nervously conversing. They're here. You almost rejoice, cry out in relief, but remain silent in fear of the set of teeth standing flush against your back. He’s so close you can feel his breath breeze against your ear. You look back to him, meeting his gaze but he shakes his head and turns your head back with his long finger against your chin. Their voices are hushed, sure, but you can still hear them clear enough to be disgusted. 

“I just… I don't know if I can do this to her, William.” Your mothers gaze is cast down, holding your fathers hands in front of her. He removes one from her grip to cup her cheek and force her gaze up. 

“Think of how good this will be for us. This money will ensure we never feel stress again my dear. Please.. Brenna, my love, she wants this, she has always wanted this. She will be happy here,” Your mothers gaze seems unsure at your fathers statements so he continues, “She will be, eventually.” 

You watch as your mother reaches towards the bed, lifting a dress made from a fabric you cant even recognize and she seems to ponder. ‘No mom. Say no.’ You plead silently, hoping that your mother-daughter connection can be strengthened in this moment more than it has ever been before. But you see it to be a pointless thought as a smile, albeit small, appears on her face. “Okay.. She is his.” 

Like a rock your stomach drops, you reach to burst into the room but Astarions grip returns to your arm, holding you in place. “Still think they will come for you?” He drags you along with him as he walks back down the hallway, leaving the door behind and, you realize, your parents forevermore. 

“You paid them off..” You push him, watching as he stumbles and lets his fingers fall from your arm. 

“It is not my fault your parents value money more than their own daughter.” His voice is sharp, and rises over you as his back straightens out. You're sure he isn’t even that much taller than you but his tone, and the way he holds himself make him tower over you, if not metaphorically. 

His statement is true, and that steadiness that you have been holding onto since you met his gaze is suddenly broken. Tears prick at your waterline. Your stubbornness has collapsed and it has you collapsing to the floor along with it. Your breath catches in your chest, and you try so hard not to let this display become more than it already has but you begin to cry. Like a child. Blubbering, shaky inhales, loud sobs echoing through the hallway. 

Astarion lowers himself to his knees in front of you, palm landing on your cheek to lift your eyes to him. “They might not see your value, but I do. You have wished to be a noble. A queen. A ruler. And I will make you one, my dear.” His hand is so much warmer than it had seemed in the dark, and you somehow feel worse as you stare into his crimson eyes. They are not comforting, he is not even trying. This is for his own personal gain. 

“I need someone to rule by my side,” He seems to squeeze out the words ‘by my side’ like he doesn’t believe it himself. But you are delirious. You have been drugged. Your parents have just abandoned you for money. You will never see your friends again. So you believe him, because it is the only thing that you can hold onto at this moment. His words, his hand against your skin, is the only thing keeping you from losing your mind further. 

“A noble?”

He has to hide the hunger that flashes across his eyes. This is easy. An easy game and he is winning it. You have basically already agreed already. He realizes at this moment that the weeks he spent observing you and having his people report your every move to him were not a waste. He has found the exact way to make you easy. You have fended for yourself the entirety of your teenage years, felt no consequence, you have no idea how to deal with not getting your way. But he has made it seem, somehow, that his way is the way you wish to live. You will agree. 

“Yes my dear. A noble. My queen. My lady. You will be mine.. won't you?”

A nod is all you can muster. 

“That's a good pet. You'll make such a pretty spawn for me."

[kahlanmars]

PAPER RINGS part. 9

Helloooo! THANK YOU for all the likes!!! BTW here and on AO3 they suggested Ana de Armas for Daisy and I honestly love her.

MASTERLIST

9. Deep waters

The bad feeling doesn’t lose you for the trip. You walk and you take a bus, you get lost two times but finally you find Lavinia’s apartment. You hope she won’t think you are crazy, but Lora is nineteen. Technically an adult, but Katniss is just a year younger and she needs a legal tutor. And the way she talked to you at the party is not… is not Lora. Lora is kind, gentle, and she is always an optimist. If she changed so much in such a brief time it is all your fault, you and Perla should have listened to her more.

You ring the bell, but nobody answers you. So you ring again, you are not exactly a patient person. You are well aware you look crazy, flying around in your red shirt and black jeans, an outfit so not you, but you had other problems this morning and you thought you were going just to Perla’s home.

Instead you are running around the streets of Capitol City. Fine streets of Capitol City, too fine to not feel a little overwhelmed.

«Lavinia? Do you remember me? I’m Daisy. I was looking for Lora.» You yell. Holly would be horrified by your manners - one day she scolded you because you said “Thank you” badly, it wasn’t that you didn’t say “Thank you”, you said it badly, that how your mother is, and probably Effie too, but you need to know where she is.

It’s effective nonetheless, because she hears you now. Or she heard you before but now she doesn’t want you to embarrass her. 

Effective either way.

«She is not here.»

She finally opens the door. Lavinia is always beautiful, but she looks ready to go out even if it’s just four p.m.. She wears a beautiful long blue gown that looks like a butterfly. It has diamonds on the corset and long lighter blue sleeves. It’s exquisite, and you are quite jealous you don’t have one like this, but she looks… vintage, maybe. Definitely before the revolution. It gives you the ick, like nothing you lived ever happened. Then again you see how Effie looks at her older dresses, how much she wants to try them on, and there is nothing bad about it.

She doesn’t let you in. Like she has a big secret or something.

«Didn’t she move in?» You ask her. Your makeup must be smudged now and maybe you look a little scary. Good. You suddenly remember she must have seen you on television last year. She saw you surviving a shark, the caves, she saw you saving Lora from the sagittaria and she definitely saw you killing Clark.

«Well, no. We thought about it, but then in the morning she stormed out.»

She sounds like she has no idea what happened, but the girl you know doesn’t behave like that and Lavinia is a mediocre actress. But the point still stands, a nineteen year old girl is missing.

«Stormed out? Oh, please, let me in. I’m worried.» She has to feel the urge in your voice, doesn’t she? She is Capitol but she has a heart too, the way she moves, like she is not interested at all in Lora, makes your blood boil.

«I’m sorry, I’m busy.»

She is busy. Busy.

You force the door. You are heavier than her and definitely more pissed. The look on her face tells you she is scared of you, but now you don’t care anymore that her blonde hair is shiny or her face is perfect or her legs are endless, you don’t care she is more than you, her apartment is big and rich. You look around a little, her apartment is huge, bigger than Effie’s and still full of trinkets. It doesn’t look very lived, though. It looks like a magazine that wants to sell you a house, not a home. The couch is cream, the walls are white, everything is clean and spotless, but it’s not natural for a home to be so immaculate. You don’t even remember the last time your house, old or new, has been so stainless. Probably never.

She still has a housekeeper. She is still rich. 

«She is your friend too, you don’t want to know where she is?!» You are raising your voice, but right now you are very proud of yourself because you are not jumping her throat.

«Listen, we are not friends, we go out sometimes, that’s not a friendship.»

You clearly remember the two of them going out together for months. And now that piece of garbage tells you she is not her friend, probably because she is district, or not wealthy enough for her. 

«Where is she?!» You are growing angrier and angrier every minute you spend with Lavinia. Breath, Daisy, breath.

You don’t breathe really well because the next thing you do is take her arm in a very strong grip.

«I don’t know where your friend is! Let me go!» Her voice is squeaky. I could break her arm, she is so slim she can’t be strong, I can outstrong her easily. But I don’t need to do this, I can’t let my rage win. I never killed because I wanted to, I always did it to protect someone and this wouldn’t protect Lora.

You let her go. She looks scared but she stays in her place.

«What are these?» On the sofa there are pictures. Pictures of you and Finnick. You are crying and he is consoling you, everything is innocent but you have to admit that from some angolations it looks like you two are kissing. Studied angolations, and there are a lot of those. Pictures with you and Effie, with you and Perla, Perla and Finnick, Finnick and Effie. It’s like someone, her, was trying to catch something. The victors in the Capitol with sparkly dresses in a famous club. Like you are wasting your victory and you are becoming what you fought for so long.

«What?» You ask. It’s not like you trusted her, but this is traumatising anyway.

«If you don’t leave my house I’ll call the police.» She is more dignified now, but you don’t really need the police. You are charged for a murder, you are a rebel, and people don’t like you anymore after the pass-pro.

«Did you take these?» You ask her, in a really angry tone. You can’t believe she saw you crying and the first thing she thought was “Oh, I’m going to make a lot of money with her tears!”. Little bastard.

«Daisy, please.» Her voice is so calm, you don’t think she understands the urgency of the situation.

«Did you take these pictures of me and Finnick?» You yell, and you throw her over a wall. She is so thin it’s not even difficult, even if you were ready to play tough. Finally her eyes are terrified.

You would like some recognition for being a Hunger Games survival.

«Where is Lora?» You repeat, getting annoyed and tired of it.

«S-she found the photos and she started screaming…» 

«Of course she started screaming! You took these pictures, it is all your fault.» You let her go. You are not a monster, you don’t want her scared all the time, you just want to find your friend.

«Come on darling, you were a tribute and you were entwined with Finnick Odair. You know how it works.»

She is so cocky now that she is far away from you, but when you take a step close to her she shuts up. Good. She is hitting your nerves.

«You are a model. Did you have to?» You can’t imagine she doesn’t have money. She is out clubbing every night.

She has the audacity to light a cigarette. You want to make her eat this damn cigarette.

«Someone was going to get these photos. I just took the chance. Don’t cheat on your boyfriend and this won’t happen.»

«I wasn’t chea- it’s not important now, okay? I just need to know what happened with Lora. She is young, and she doesn’t know the city as well as you. If she is alone, maybe she got lost.»

«She is an adult! She stayed alive during the games.» She doesn’t dare talk about the games like it’s a casual thing someone could run into. You were there because her people put you there. Lora was robbed of her life because of them. Now you understand the hatred Haymitch has towards Capitol citizens, they will never understand.  

«If you know where she is… Think, please.» Although for her it must be hard. 

«I mentioned something to her earlier.» She knew something, you were sure of it! 

«What? What did you mention?» 

«Oh, if she went there she would be very immature.»

«She is nineteen! She has every right to be immature!» You put a finger on your temple, trying not to strangle her. «Lavinia, I’m this close to hitting you and I’m really sensing that the only person who is trying not to hurt you it’s me, the person who is going to do it so please, just tell me and then shut up!»

«Capitol moved your arena into the city. They don’t know what to do with it, they tried to use it but they can’t, and they just put it there. I told Lora…»

The arena. You feel a shiver on your back. You don’t want to go to the arena, you don’t want to put a hand on it again. The most horrible experience of your life has been there. You would prefer to return to district Thirteen, but not the arena.

«Fuck, fuck, fuck.»

«She stormed out! She felt responsible or something. She said that she was my friend and I took the pictures, so…»

«And you let her go.» You accuse her. Of course she felt responsible, she probably got into a fight with Perla too, she said those words towards me and she probably thought Lavinia was her only friend left, and then she felt betrayed. That’s a mess, a raging mess.

«It was the dawn, I was wasted, she was wasted, it’s a miracle I remember it.»

You easily take the cigarette out of her hand - thanks to the exercises with Haymitch in the gym - and you watch her closely. 

«You hope I’ll find her soon.» 

You are frightened. Lora is alone and this is your fault too. Perla was busy with her job and with Cinna, and you too, but you knew she was fragile and she deserved more attention. She was alone, without her family, and Capitol City can be tricky. In no time you go from being happy for a new adventure to remain home because you are ashamed of who you are. You feel guilty because you don’t have the right clothes, less money than them, the right body type and because you are district. The revolution happened but they still think they are better than you, and Lora is District Eleven like you are District Twelve, the poorest districts. You have Effie that reminds you of your worth, but she is alone. 

It wasn’t hard to find the arena. It’s abandoned in a suburb area, you just had to take a bus to get here. It’s quite famous, if you don’t live in a bubble sewing and consoling your friends. You are positive Haymitch and Finnick knew that, but they tried to shield you.

You are not ready to come back to the arena. Even if you can see it’s all staged, it’s abandoned and there are no cameras, you don’t want to go there. You want Haymitch, you want Effie, you even want your mother who is in District Twelve and she definitely can’t come rescue you now. You start to shiver. You can’t. There is any public phone or shop nearby, so you can’t even warn anyone.

But Lora is in there, a voice tells you. Lora is scared and alone and maybe even in danger, because the place is wonky and unstable. And there are caves.

Dear heavens, you hope she is not hiding in the caves.

You trespass because there is no real security. 

It all seems… fake. The caves are not real, and with light you see the exit. You hope there are no more poisonous plants, but you dare walking fast and you scream your friend’s name.

You finally find her and she is a mess. She has been crying, her mascara is on her cheek. And she is near the Cornucopia, water between her and you.

Oh God, oh God. 

They couldn’t leave a shark in still water, right? Sharks die this way. They removed the shark. They definitely removed the shark.

Unless… How do you remove a shark? After a revolution, with no funds and no money, and you don’t imagine Capitol City being big on animal facilities. They used mutts for years without questioning any ethical issue. You suddenly remember the first hours in the arena, it hits you like a bus.

You run as much as you can to the caves, often falling, and suddenly from the ice emerges a giant black shark.

A shark.

You are going to be killed by a shark. There is no way you can run away from a huge shark, with a big mouth and big teeth. 

You calm yourself down. 

«Lora?»

She lifts her eyes up. She is in a dress, and she is soaked wet, she is going to catch a cold. And the Cornucopia is full of weapons, if they didn’t take them, they are rusting now and they are dangerous.

«Lora, now please… remain calm. I’ll be here.» You really, really, really don’t want to go into the water.

«Don’t come any closer!» She yells. She is shivering, you can see it and you feel so guilty and worried it’s choking you. You failed her, you failed Lora and now you feel helpless and powerless, you don’t know what to do. You damn yourself because you didn’t wait for Perla, she always knows exactly what to do. But you remember the time she almost died because of the sagittaria.

Lora still has the plants in her hands, and you take them from her to toss it on the ground. 

«Are you okay? Did you eat something?» You ask her frantically, watching her and touching her face in suspect of something weird on her body. 

She looks shocked, maybe she was friends with the other tribute, but she shakes her head. «No, I was about to but… no.» 

You almost faint in relief. «Dear Heavens, girl. You scared me to death.»

«That should be easy.»

No, now it’s not time to joke around. What was she doing here? You hope she didn’t want to do something terrible. You hope it was just a crisis and she wanted to be alone. You hope, but that is not enough.

«I didn’t want to do it, Daisy. It broke.»

It broke. They must have taken the cornucopia closer, and she walked there but then the little platform started moving to the centre, and she got trapped. Just like her situation in Capitol City.

«That’s a relief but now you have to take my hand.» Maybe she can come to you, because you don’t really think you are able to swim. You have never swam again after the shark.

«I can’t.» She is stuck, paralysed, she can’t walk. You get it.

The only opportunity you have is the bracelet that’s never out of your hand. Maybe Haymitch does not have the beeping thing anymore and he doesn’t know where you are, but there is the possibility that he kept it, your paranoid boyfriend. You adore that he is paranoid, it comes handy. You press the little daisy charm and you hope for the best, because that is the only chance.

«No, no you can.» You try to convince her but she shakes her head vigorously.

«I just wanted somewhere calm.» She explains. 

«And you had to pick a place with water?!» No, you have to calm yourself down, you can’t scream at her. You have to pretend you are in a class with kids. You were a teacher for a brief piece of time, you should be able to do it. At least, to do it. 

If you fall you are over, everything is over. But no, you have to fall, you have to swim to save her. You can freak out later.

«Everything is falling apart.» She whispers, but you catch it.

«No, Lora, don’t say that.»

«But it’s true! I don’t have a job, I don’t have a house, I don’t have someone who loves me!» That is not true. She managed to win even Effie over. She is adorable, everybody likes her. The only reason Chaff doesn’t want her in his house is because he has a severe problem with alcohol and he doesn’t want to be a danger for her.

«You have plenty of people who love you! You have me, you have Perla.»

«Chaff can’t take care of me. My mother and father are gone, and so are my brothers. I’m alone, Daisy, and I thought maybe Capitol could distract me but I feel so alone…»

She is alone. As you are, as Perla is, as everybody is in this city, but she is a little more alone because her parents died in the war and she is a kid who never had a chance to say goodbye.

«We can stay together, you can stay at my place!»

«You don’t really want me!»

You have no idea how to, but this can work. Haymitch likes Lora, you will go back to Twelve after the campaign and you think she will be fine in Twelve.

«Yes I want you! And you are scaring me.»

«I should be able to take care of myself but nothing is right. Nothing is right, nothing I do is right…»

«You survived! That is a pretty big thing and you are so young, you are barely twenty! Lora, you need to slow down. Give yourself time to understand what you want. You don’t have a job yet, and so what? You are a kid. Slow down, you are doing fine.» She is marvellous, that is the truth. 

«Am I?» She watches you for the first time.

«Yes. You survived, you are a survivor. And I love you. Perla loves you. Chaff loves you, baby we all love you.» Believe me, believe me, please believe me.

«But the pictures in the magazines are my fault.»

«Nothing happened! Haymitch and Annie didn’t believe any of it, nothing is ruined. Stay there, I’m coming.»

Every step you take in the water, much lower than in the games, you think the shark is going to catch you. It will bite you. It will murder. It’s over, it’s over, it’s over, that’s it, that is how you are going to die, all you can think about is their giant teeth.

And then you take her hand and you take Lora in your arms to lift her up, suddenly you are back in the land.

«Okay, it’s okay, we can stay here for a while. Just a while, until my legs begin to work again.» You murmur to her ears, and you lull her. «Everything is going to be okay.»

You two are both in shock, and when Haymitch walks towards you he finds you rocking with Lora, silent, in that damn arena.

Your fiancé is perfect. He deals with Lora, he takes her to bed and he leaves you alone for a while, to let you decompress.

When Haymitch finds you, hours later, you are shivering in the bathtub. Your hand is white and you feel like ice, the water is very cold. All you can think about is that you hate water. You could have fallen, maybe a shark was there. You can’t help but fix your thoughts on the giant teeth, the bite it could give.

«Sweetheart, what are you doing?» He takes your hand, and he gives you a look when he finds out it’s glacial. He kisses it. You hate to worry him, especially after a discussion. He has been great, he took care of Lora like she was Katniss and he let you deal with your emotions.

«Where is Lora?» You ask, lifting your head up to see him. He watches you with worry in his green eyes.

«She is sleeping, I made her hot tea and everything, don’t worry about the little one. I’ll check on her in a hour or two, but now she is exhausted. You, on the other hand.» He gets up to take a towel, «Are freezing. You are going to catch a cold, what are you doing in the bathtub?»

«Doctor Aurelius said to do this when I’m scared of water…»

It's not working the way it should be, you can still hear the water in the caves, you still have a foot in the Arena. The last Arena.

It's funny, you didn't think about it almost at all in District Thirteen. The war was on and you had to fight, to protect the ones you loved and to survive. 

After the war ended the nightmares began again, and most of them were, and still are, about water.

«Yeah, maybe with hot water. I’m lifting you up, okay? Is that okay?» He wants to be sure because one time you had a crisis. You were spiralling and he touched you, you didn't realise it was him, you were so scared. 

«Okay.» You whisper, and you close your eyes against his chest. He wraps you in a towel and keeps you in his arms, going straight to the bedroom. You are soaking his shirt, but he doesn’t seem to notice or he simply doesn’t care.

«Let’s put you to bed, Princess.» He tucks you under the sheets and he comes with you. You are immediately glued to his side, and you cry silent tears while he is petting you and playing with your hair. 

«Thank you so much. I’m sorry.» 

«You are sorry you just saved a life? Daisy, come on.» He is not big on cuddling, not without some heat, but he is just being flawless.

«But you have to take care of everyone.»

«Not everyone, just you. And I like that.» He lifts your chin up. «I like taking care of my wife.»

«I was just so scared of losing her.»

«You won’t.» He tights his embrace. «You won’t lose her.» Like I lost Maysilee. That’s the silent end. The girl he allied with, the original owner of the mockingjay pin, the little kid who died during the games, attacked by pink birds. Haymitch, at sixteen, stayed with her holding her hand until she died and then he won.

«I like taking care of you too.» You swear. You are not the only one who is bad sometimes, he still has an addiction, even if he doesn't touch alcohol anymore. He trembles and he occasionally throws up because he can't take it anymore. He is grumpy for days or he doesn't go out of his room. 

His ways are just different than yours.

You two stay silent for a while, but you can’t sleep. Everytime you close your eyes you only see horrible scenes, the shark who tries to kill you or Lora, Lora scared and alone, Perla during one of the crises, Effie who cries on the couch, Haymitch who tries and fails to stay sober.

Everyone you love is full of problems. The Games screwed up your people. 

«Do you believe in a God?» You whisper in his ear, because you know he is not sleeping either.

«Sweetheart…»

District Twelve does not ask questions about it. People there are just too busy to notice, or they wouldn’t like the answer. They knew something in the old days, you barely remember your grandmother singing an old, old song about a religion, a goddess or someone like that. “Salve Regina mater misericordiae, vita, dulcedo et spes nostra salve.” She sang it with her heart, but she memorised the words, not the meaning. Your mother tried to sing it to you but you were too little and she had other things in her mind.

But you keep thinking about Lora and the way she could have died in that damn arena. Having her in another life is a consoling thought.

«I nearly lost Lora today.» You put your head on his shoulders, crying. He pats and kisses your hair. «If there is a God, maybe I could see my parents in the afterlife. Maybe we are not so alone.»

He sighs. «You wouldn't like my opinions. But I do hope there is an afterlife, I hope my parents and brother are okay, I hope they are happy. And I hope we will be together even there.»

«So, you don't believe a God exists.»

«I don't know, but if there is someone they have to explain a lot of things. If God exists he has let innocent children get slaughtered for years, women dying in childbirth, not to mention the war… he is either not powerful enough or just plain evil.» He kisses your hair, «I don’t know if there is an afterlife or not, if it’s related to a God or even if there is a God, but I don’t trust it. I believe in you. I believe in my children. We have each other.»

You snuggle your nose against his cheek. «I believe in you too.»

«My beautiful, beautiful woman.» He bites your lips. «I don’t know if God exists, but I must have done something good in my life to have you.»

[serpulalacrymans]

headcanons for Lawrence as a father?

//Oooooohh this one's fuuuuuun~!

Character HC's listed down below.

Lawrence's effort to be a good dad would hang in the balance of how he's feeling that day. Some days he looks at the bundle of sunshine and feels conditional pride. Others he just sees another vessel rotting with the seconds. This means he more or less keeps up on active care- but he always makes sure they are fed, at the very least.

Lawrence develops a routine to protect the lil' tyke from his explosive outbursts. His anger issues combined with a babies continuous crying creates a monster- one he does not like to present to them. They're neglected while he can learn to calm down in another room, but as a consequence, the child develops a fear of yelling/loud noises.

They are pulled from school for little to no reason time and time again. He gets anxious and worries for their wellbeing, as well as worries about his position as the leading guardian in their life. They are reenrolled just as much for the same reasons. He doesn't like other people being able to poke and prod at his youngling, yet often gets overwhelmed by their presence, so appreciates the days he's left alone.

Gender rolls do not exist to Lawrence. Same rules apply for sexuality, or any other identity-related questions. He may be sad to see certain parts of them die, but he knows those parts were hardly them anyway, if they must go. (He may also be ignorant to some things, like small statements such as "Isn't that for girls?" but his naivety does not reflect his overall beliefs.)

He tries to be an inviting father when his child eventually makes friends and wants to bring them around. He just ends up being weird. Not weird in a creepy way, but weird in a "aren't you the kid with the plant-dad?" kind of way.

He educates them very well in his way of art. They are never allowed near his subjects while still alive. They grow up adjusted to death and gore. They're very helpful nonetheless! Like helping pops out with his fancy arts!

Raising a little one of his own is actually very healing. He loses the plot a lot of the time, but he is also quick to remind himself of his own upbringing. He will never treat his child the way he was treated. He will never make them feel like he did.

He doesn't entirely hate fatherhood! Mainly when they get old enough to become an actual person. They're raised to be incredibly quiet, and very, very polite and clean. This makes them enjoyable to be around.

He is, unfortunately, a helicopter parent. Tracking on their phone, shared accounts, a curtain in place of a door for their bedroom, the works.

Lawrence remains pretty selfish as well. If he doesn't feel like getting up at night to tend to the lil' one, he won't. They can just cry it out. He is also pretty irresponsible, but that's just because he refuses to take other parents advice and just doesn't know any better. Making it up as he goes.

Speaking of irresponsible- he takes the baby to bed often. Likes huddling around them until they both fall asleep. Has no idea how dangerous this can actually be. Or, maybe he does.

Had he named a child, it would be something just as artistic as his works. It's a tiny life, one that grips his fingers and relies on him to survive... It must be cherished. (I personally have a "Next Gen" Oleander OC named Kveta, in collab with a friend. I feel like going above and beyond for first names is like, his thing.)

And finally, the last one for the time being- I do not believe he would ever have a desire to be a father. It doesn't seem ideal. I feel if he ever had a child, it would have to be accidental. Not like a pregnancy scare, as we know that can't happen, but perhaps nabbing an individual he was not aware was pregnant and simply keeping the leftovers.

//Hope these were good ??? This was a LOT of fun, thank u nonny !!!

[citrine-elephant]

whump material inspired by IRL:

leon post-rescue, but he's dealing with trust. already, he's had a hell of a time with it, right? he keeps people a little distant, just enough to bring them in if they survive, just enough to avoid the pain of losing them. always so willing to fight for a stranger nonetheless-

not to mention that anyone could turn ugly real fast...

maybe leon's been brainwashed a tad. not 100% effective. but he's a little more weary of people than he already was.

maybe he's gone through a torture routine that implanted false memories of his friends and loved ones. and when he's released he has a little trouble warming back up to those who he would've instantly been in the arms of.

he's just. scared. more closed off. ... but the willingness to protect them never changed-

[caesarflickermans]

What is Plutarch biggest fear??

Plutarch believes that an idea cannot die and no country exists forever. A rebellion cannot die, either, because it is an idea.

Yet, he is nonetheless scared to see a large portion of his allies found out and the group rendered ineffective. That, regardless the idea of an uprising, this particular group might not succeed. This fear becomes more prevalent when Katniss pulls out the berries, because her actions indirectly cause the rebellion to begin their long-awaited plans.

Plutarch likes to be perceived as and himself be an introverted and thoughtful character whose ties to the real world are slim at best. He has made the rebellion his cause at a relatively young age. This dedication had implied little worldly connections and little he could miss or fear.

The story where Plutarch Heavensbee has to add one more liability to the list of "people to protect" and it is getting awfully crowded.

This fanfiction summary was a very intentional one. The Plutarch Katniss knows does not have such a list. Yet, it's that list that he has never wanted to mentally have nor to expand that will come to bring about a much more real, less idealistic fear.

Plutarch is not scared for his own life. He has made the decision to lead a rebel group and to frame himself in the process a long time ago. The cause is more important than his own life.

And yet, the people he recruits, specifically Caesar, Virgilia, and a tiny bit Fulvia, become important people whose life he doesn't want to see threatened. His biggest fear is not per se losing them--because his own life is not vital here--but seeing them get hurt or, worst, killed.

Caesar is an obvious one and the first person he had cared for. Their friendship spans roughly a decade by the time we get to see them interact in SSLWR. Caesar is the first recruit to Plutarch's cause, and they have become each other's confidantes.

Virgilia hadn't meant to become who she ended up becoming. While he has had romantic ties prior, the rebellion had always taken precedence. But not with Virgilia. Even if he cannot survive, he wants her to live a life in freedom.

Fulvia is the loosest one on the list and we will find out more about her in the next part. He likes her, but more so than that, he sees her as one of many young people whose futures are at stake here. He wouldn't mourn her death in quite the same way because he isn't as close to her compared to the other two, but she deserves a life past the war.

[bakfoo]

I forgot that Star Fox was a thing until today and in some weird stupor I wrote a 1.4k word fic surrounding the first skirmish between SF and SW heavily influenced by @rainboopz 's Krystal is Kursed AU

This is a totally self-indulgent hurt/comfort fanfic and I won't apologize for it because I didn't realize how weird star fox command gets and I need to fix it before I explode

Krystal couldn't believe it. Her ship's HUD blared all kinds of damage reports in her face. With no choice, she wrenched the stick and turned away from the battle. She flew back in tatters.

"Days... Weeks... Months of training and flight hours and I still can't down him," Krystal whispered to herself, gripping the joystick so hard she swore she heard it creak.

She used every trick in the book and more. Even when she pulled out all the aces she had up her sleeve, she was countered at every turn. She held up against the rest of Star Fox just fine on her own, but their leader was different. It was cold. It was surgical. For someone who only knew her previous captain as a squadmate, this was the harsh reminder:

Fox McCloud was the deadliest pilot in the Lylat System.

Was he holding out on me?! Did I get weaker? Did he get stronger? How...?

Krystal slammed the canopy with her fist through tears of frustration. As if on cue, Wolf's face showed up in a small monitor. From the red glow on his face, it was clear that his ship was also no longer combat effective. A bit behind, her other squadmates were returning from battle, not faring any better.

"Well, Princess? How does it feel?"

Krystal quickly wiped tears of frustration from her face, too scared to say anything in fear that a sob would come out. Losing wasn't new for her, but this loss had so much more at stake. She glared at the screen without saying a word.

"It fucking sucks," Krystal choked out bitterly, not seeming to care that the entirety of Star Wolf was now fixated on her response. Eavesdropping, Panther begrudgingly smiled, Leon huffed and twisted his face into a frown. She was only a part of the team in name, but this was their unofficial induction ceremony.

Wolf grinned, knowing the exact feeling. He saw it reflected all over Krystal's face.

"Welcome to Star Wolf."

--

During the Lylat Wars, the Arwing was considered a next generation fighter. It was so above and beyond the competition that it boasted a higher kill count than the entirety of the Cornerian Militaty during the war. Even after the Arwing was reverse engineered by the Venomians, even after battles against the supernatural, and even after another war against the Aparoid invasion, the Arwing towered above the rest.

The gap, however, has decreased over time. The Arwing was a successful proof of concept, and everybody in Lylat wanted it. Its newest G-Diffuser system was now commonplace around the most basic cargo haulers. Its nano laminate armor was on all commercial shuttles. Gimble cannons were spacecraft standard issue. Even the Wolfens had all of this and more.

The only edge above the competition was the pilot. The Arwing boasted a 99.9% survival rate, with the near perfect record broken by none other than James McCloud. The reason why Star Fox is where they are is because their trusty spacecraft kept them alive and forced them to learn from their mistakes. Given their track record, Star Fox has learned everything and more when it comes to ship to ship combat.

None of that experience didn't make it any less awkward when Fox met his ex for the first time months and immediately shot her down.

Battles between ace pilots were always one or the other: decisive or extremely drawn out. When the first blasters were fired, from Krystal nonetheless, all moments of hesitation flew out the window. Further chatter included the usual battle call outs and insults, but it was over almost as soon as it started.

Fox peered over the side of the canopy. He watched as four Wolfens flew away from them, heading away from the now-empty battlefield.

"... All ships, turn to solar bearing 0-3-0. Return to base."

"Copy that." "Roger."

Damages were almost a guarantee when facing off against Star Wolf, but it's been a while since Slippy and Falco danced on a razor's edge in a dogfight. Landing on the Great Fox wasn't this tense since wartime.

"Damn. She got me good," Falco scoffed, a bitter sense of pride in his former teammate-turned-enemy. When he left his cockpit, He ran his hand along scorch marks on the main fuselage, scoring near critical hits to the space frame.

"Yeah, no kidding! It's going to take a week to get all of our ships in working order," Slippy sighed as he scratched underneath his cap. His Arwing was in worse condition with a wing tip blown off and a hole where one of its cannons used to be.

Wordlessly, Fox stumbled out of his cockpit and headed immediately to the Great Fox's mess hall. Slippy and Falco's gazes followed him until the doors were closed, and they exchanged a wordless look of concern over their captain, then peered at the last remaining starcraft.

Fox's Arwing was practically spotless minus a single scorch mark over the Star Fox insignia.

--

Following Peppy's retirement and the reduction of the squadron, it meant that Fox had to be on top of his game in every level. Thousands of hours were logged in the simulator, mock battles were held weekly between his squad mates, and he even learned basic engineering from Slippy. Star Fox no longer held the technological edge, and with the increasing pressure from fulfilling new roles and staying relevant in the Mercenary world, it was no surprise that Fox was at his wit's end.

He slumped forward on his chair, watching as the ice melted in his glass of bourbon.

"Hey Slip." He murmured, catching Slippy off guard as he tried to tiptoe around his moping boss. Slippy looked around for Falco, but realized he probably hit the showers (or whatever else the birdbrain was up to). He wasn't too experienced with relationships, so he let Falco do all the talking with anything to do with Krystal. After seeing the rough shape his captain was in, maybe it was time for a lighter touch.

"Heyyy," Slippy said slowly as he sat down next to Fox. His captain's eyes were sunken, his hair was a mess, and once he looked close enough, his inner shirt was inside out. It didn't take a genius to realize that even after all this time, he wasn't quite over her.

"What's up, Fox?"

"Slippy, am I a bad person?"

Slippy's physically recoiled from the question. He may not be the most sociable person around, but he even knew that this was one of the questions that you just don't ask your friends. Still...

"Are we talking legally or morally?" Slippy laughed. Fox returned with a look that would rival the unsettling gaze of a dead fish's eyeballs.

"Oh God."

"Let's talk about something else!" Slippy forced a laugh and pat his hands on the table, stepping yet into another conversation taboo, this time between Mercenaries. But when Fox saw that Slippy was trying to avoid the subject, he sighed.

"I'm sorry. Everything is just... A lot." Fox took a small sip, his face scrunching a little. Alcohol wasn't something he usually partook in, which made his attempt at calming down all the more pathetic.

"Everything including... everything and Krystal?"

Slippy took Fox's flinch as a physical "yes."

"Did I make the right call?"

Slippy took a moment to look at his friend and didn't see his captain, he saw a friend who needed help. He threw rank and hierarchy out the window. This conversation was friend-to-friend now, and he leaned in.

"Look, Fox. I know that you did what you think was right, and... Uh, I don't know. Most of the breakups I see on holo-tv have people not liking each other over time. But, like, it seems like you had too much responsibility to give her any attention she needed and that caused a breakup neither of you wanted."

"That is... Spot on, yeah," Fox sighed at the astute observation. He swirled his drink, this time more alive at the simple act of being heard out and validated.

"Not having Peppy is a lot harder than I thought. He always has an answer for everything."

Slippy smiled at the sound of his friend's name.

"Hey, how about we wash ourselves up, give Peppy a call, and we make ourselves proper drinks? How's that sound?"

"Sounds good, Slip." Fox smiled. Slippy returned the smile, sure in himself that he defused the delicate situation.

"Yo, is your ex a crack shot, or what?" Falco chimed in from behind, coming back from a quick rinse donning shorts and a plain white T-shirt. Slippy glared at him, worried that all the work just went down the drain, but Fox gave him a nonchalant shrug and downed the rest of his drink.

"Yeah. She sure is."

[deuterosapiens]

Okay, better late than never. Hellraiser- Hellworld. Oof. According to a bit of additional research (to be understood as five seconds of Googling), my opinion on this particular Hellraiser sequel is apparently controversial, which makes me a minority, which blah blah blah.

Before I drop the cut here, I will preface this with this image:

So, controversial opinion: with the exception of a few very specific details, which I will mention in a moment, I actually liked this one and consider it one of the more enjoyable sequels. Weird, I know.

Biggest issue number one stems from this being a post-Scream sequel, which was a stand-alone story integrated into the Hellraiser franchise (presumably for licensing reasons: if you don't do something with a property, you lose that property). Our main girl is a Hellraiser fan who doesn't scare easily. In this film, the entire Hellraiser franchise exists as an addictive online game. Which means the entire film flirts around with meta-content that bores me quickly. Main girl Chelsea is extremely uninteresting because the moment she's in an interesting situation, all she does is scream. When the situation is over, she goes all meta about the flaws in the villain's plans to enact a Hellraiser (sorry, Hellworld) themed revenfe plot. She's extremely tedious.

Our second point of extreme irritation comes from THE REVEAL. It's basically an inversion of the ever so classic (and annoying as hell) "it was all a dream" cliche. At an early point in the film, all of our main cast has been drugged, meaning all of their fates are the result of drug-induced hallucinations, which means that all of the really cool deaths we witnessed previously, never actually happened. They're all dead, yeah, but in much less interesting ways than we were shown. You see the problem with that.

And there's a bit of a wrinkle with the whole meta-plot of Hellworld being fiction in the main plot. You see, because Hellworld is fictional, but Hell is real and a main character did accidentally create a working Lament Configuration which, when opened, does exactly what you expect. This is kind of like a worse version of the whole New Nightmare thing where Robert Englund is being terrorized by a demon pretending to be Freddy Kreuger. So, the nail-headed Hell Priest is both fictional and real, simultaneously. Which would be cool, if this movie used this concept for anything interesting. Which... it does not.

So then, why did I actually like this one?

Well, this one is basically a by the books slasher film with a bit of Hellraiser lore sprinkled in for flavor. Which means it plays its kills in a very gratuitous and over-the-top way. Which means some of them are quite fun. Geralt of Rivia's death suffers a bit from that whole "one-dimensional thinking, you would survive this if you stepped to the left or right three centiminches" thing, but I'm a simple man: meat-hooks are a funny an classic way to get the red flowing, and I'm okay with it.

Second, as if I have not stressed this enough, Henry Cavill's in it! This makes many, many things better.

Lance Henriksen is here, too, and he's always fun. His death here plays out in a way that's visually similar to his fate at the hands of the Xenomorph Queen (consider this, my friends, foreshadowing for later posts).

In general, the production does look significantly more polished than, say, Hellseeker. There appears to be actually money here, being spent on some fairly decent practical effects work. Seeing as the plot is about a computer game, I expected early two-thousands digital, which, let's be honest, is visually appealing to no one, so I'm happy to see practical, real-world physical props and effects work.

To be fair, the effects work mostly consists of creature design and killing devices, so going digital would have been fairly pointless. But I like the look of this one nonetheless.

I know I went in intending to hit all eleven but obviously my plans for this franchise have fallen apart. But, all eight Doug Bradley Hellraiser films have been watched and discussed and I'm not sure I even want to touch the others.

Oh, and this movie can rot for having the audacity to mention Leviathan, Lord of the Labyrinth, by name and not use it for anything. This would have been a perfect movie to show me the Cosmic Octahedron!

[coollyinterferes]

The sound of frantic, stomping hooves filled the air, along with heavy breathing and whimpering.

Nonono, this wasn’t happening. he was NOT about to start changing in front of so many people. Fear of being hurt wasn’t the issue, no, it was fear of accidentally hurting someone. What if they saw him and went mad? What if his scary appearance made them sick, or terrified, or.. ugh. He needed to stop thinking about it.

Running into the back alleyways, Adam stopped when he believed he was alone. His legs gave out, the morphed goat like features of them making it hard to stand, he felt like a newborn dear.

Huffing and panting from the panic and trying to calm down, a few curses came from his mouth, though in a warbled, distorted version of his own voice.

He’d been preoccupied enough to miss the sound of walking, despite his senses being achingly heightened. What he didn’t miss though, was the paranoid sense that he wasn’t alone.

Looking around, he indeed was not. Square eyes met human ones as Adam stumbled to his hoof-like feet.

“I’m gonna.. go now.. i won’t hurt you- please don’t be scared— I don’t wanna hurt you. just.. stay calm..”

Starting to back away without losing eye contact, Adam wondered if what he said would even mean anything, or if they’d go mad, or— if they’d still try and fight.. god, he didn’t wanna do this right now.. if there was some kinda tech around that’d be an easy escape, but his own dumbass decides to run to the most deserted spot, with nothing but bare walls and cold street floors. Great.

plotted ask/thread 【always accepting】 @mandelasmurray

A rather calm night this one had been so far. The different businesses Speedwagon’s gang had pending for the day had been dealt with and properly taken care of just a while earlier. While the man was slowly working on bettering himself and putting some distance between him and his criminal ways, the truth was that that was much easier said than done. Simply stepping down and leaving was not an option. Not only crime still made part of his income to this day, but it would also be a foolish mistake for him to cut all those ties and nexus he had cultivated over the years. He knew those would remain as valuable in the long run, even after he managed to crawl out of that underworld (if he ever managed to).

There was also the issue of his gangmates. Tattoo and Li were all for bettering themselves, too, yes, but the rest of the men in his gang? Not so much. And while he couldn’t fully call them all ‘friends’ in the same way he would Li or Tattoo, Robert wasn’t ungrateful nor uncaring to simply leave his men to their luck. And certainly not after the countless times they'd had his back, whether it was due to genuine sympathy for their leader or simply as some kind of survival tactic. This was a job, after all. A dishonest and often dirty one, but a job nonetheless. There were also the many enemies and rivals he’d made over the course of the years (first during his time as some hoodlum working his way up as part of a gang, and then when he’d become the boss of the entire place), one too many people who wanted to see him dead. Robert knew already that simply leaving would definitely not be enough to end that bad blood.

Too many things were now occupying his thoughts as he went to kill a little time, hidden in the depths of an abandoned alley downtown, surrounded only by pitch black darkness and a lingering smell of rain from the previous night mixed with soaked wet cardboard coming from the empty boxes that someone had most likely thrown there in recent days. Robert had plans for the night and so he tried to focus on just that. Nothing out of the ordinary, just going out to some pub with his mates to relax a bit. All that was a couple hours away still though, hence his ‘need’ to kill some time until then.

Leaning back against the tall brick wall behind him, he produced a slightly battered pack of cigarettes from one of his pockets and pulled a cig out, letting it rest between his lips as he put the small box back into his pocket and fished for his lighter, finding it only a moment later. The small flame the little device produced was the only thing cutting through the deep darkness, but only barely, as one of Robert’s scarred hands shielded it so he could light his cig. Honey brown eyes slipped closed once that was done in some attempt to let the taste of cheap tobacco be the one thing filling his senses instead; the lighter was put back into its place with trained ease. His head tilted back as he slowly let the smoke out of his lungs. Whatever sense of peace he may have reached in those few seconds that went by dissipated just as quickly as the smoke he’d just exhaled did into the cool night’s air when the sound of heavy and frantic stomping disrupted the silence that had been engulfing the alley.

So much for a peaceful and quiet moment, huh…

But it was not only that. The sound those footsteps made… It was very similar to the sound hooves would make against concrete. Despite the limited lighting inside the alley, from where Robert stood -and aided by the streetlights on the sidewalk outside-, he could see the outline of a person (or who looked like one, at least), collapsing to the ground just as they entered the alley. The evident distraught state in which the stranger seemed to be in as they seemed to struggle to get back up on their feet prompted the blond to come out of the shadows, stepping closer to the newcomer in case they needed some help or something, letting out a “You okay, mate?” as he did so. The rest of his words got caught halfway in his throat as he stood there, only a couple feet short from where the stranger was on the ground. Being that short distance away from the other, he was able to notice the very specific particularities in the stranger’s appearance, leaving no doubt that something was completely off. His eyes widened a tad; thick eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What the hell….!?” And, of course, his voice doing a wonderful job at conveying the utter shock and confusion rushing through his mind at the sight. Instinctively, mostly as a result of his years in the streets and the supernatural experiences he’d dealt with months prior, Speedwagon's posture became defensive, with the man still keeping the remaining distance between the two intact. The other’s words fell on deaf ears; a natural response after what he’d been through, one could say. Life had taught him in the hardest -and harshest- ways over and over again that it was impossible to trust someone else based on words and “nice intentions” alone. It was also at this time, away from the smells in the alley, that his heightened sense of smell caught up a scent that was definitely not human…

His free hand went on instinct to grab his trusty knife from where it was concealed in his waistband, though he didn’t right away pull the weapon out completely, instead opting to let part of it show. A glint cut through the dark as the light from the street lamps outside reflected on the steely surface of the blade. All this was merely a sign to let the other know this was not an invitation to fight while also making it clear that he was ready to get his hands dirty if he had to. A hint of apprehension in his tone as he let out an otherwise stern,

“...What the hell are you…? Speak up!”

[feelingcauliflower]

73/153

hi kind of stopped myself from posting updates in middle of exams BUT OFFICIALLY DONE WITH FIRST SET OF EXAMSSSSS!!!!!! trying so so fucking hard to be proud of myself for surviving. i am however quite relieved. babe wake up we’re halfway thru the marathon.

first exam was atrocious but figured i slept too less(and also did not fucking study at all let alone enough) spent the first few days of exam week frustrated over how i couldve had it all only if i put in SOME work it’s not even impossible or that hard in terms of like academic difficulty. but there we were again suffering from the consequences of my own inaction. the exams however ofc got progressively worse and then a bit better(those that hold least % in final grade ofc) but i am so grateful for them nonetheless. havent felt the joy of taking a ‘good’ exam in so, so long.

ok so let’s try thinking about how i feel. yesterday i was not being able to get back to the grind u know the exam week high but i know it will be difficult but i have to get it done anyways so i have to drill it in my head because most things if u want to do good at u have to do consistently u have to put in the work and it isnt sunshine and glitters every time but u HAVE to show up nonetheless. now coming back to how i feel i am scared and anxious and jittery had one too many coffees. i am slightly excited i want to be more excited. i am so scared of slacking this time too if that happens i will lose faith in myself again. no matter how stupid it sounds i may never forgive nyself it’s not about getting a bad grade more of how i can’t + don’t put in any work at all. i have gone through so much in the last couple years but never processed it all so on that aspect i am super proud of myself for just surviving but idk man. winters are always so hard i hope to cope better this time.

was am quite upset for the biggest Ls i took in bio, such shame, such shame. but hey we have another shot at this so spent one day begrudgingly and groggily on 5 hours of sleep with internet being cut off countrywide and scrolling yt shorts and then set out to study again, was very very distracted. so here are things i wish to do from today(it’s 2:30am) from after wake up:

- turn off my phone during study sessions + lock my door(unless someone is dying or the examiner themselves walk into my room the distraction is not worth it)

- NOT scroll IG TT FB YT

- meditate, stretch, move my body

- have max 1 cup of coffee

-wave sounds/brown noise

-mid-day checkins

cant think of the rest bye for now sending love

153 days of survival

50/153

more than 30% of the time has passed. i can make it through the rest. september was me trying to somewhat fix my sleep schedule so basically just sleeping sleeping and sleeping. have not slept so much in such a long, long time. tried to stay as present as possible but did kind of leave my head every 2-3 days. has been quite the journey of doing nothing. have only one day to revise each unit lol honestly at this point i have simply accepted it. yes it makes me sad. but there is not much i can do. i will just have to roll with what my brain gives me. if it’s procrastinating and staring at screens without a single thought in my head, it is what it is. will be scheduling cry days for every 2 days again. have a nice day, week, month. thank u for reading this far, send a good thought and prayer. i am so attached to all of this it is hard to let go and give up but it is so important to know when to give things up. i am just sad and scared.

context: i am simply trying to survive my a2 exams which end on 18th of jan, 2024 and documenting this here to have some kind of responsibility. the frequency of my updates is well evident of my work.

link to previous post: https://www.tumblr.com/feelingcauliflower/728287215250276352/153-days-of-survival

[bookuya]

genshin characters in a zombie apocalypse x gn!reader

serving size + contains: fluff + lots of touch・slight crack・mentions of zombies + death/killing zombies・almost every character is in here・some can be seen as platonic relationships

you are their number one priority; your life before theirs.

BEIDOU, CHILDE, DILUC, EULA, JEAN, KEQING, XIAO

beidou simply cannot imagine losing you to a measly zombie, let alone even leaving you alone in the first place without her supervision! you're definitely not dying on her watch, she's strong with literally almost every weapon to keep you alive from any attacking zombie. all she asks in return is for you stay at your shared hideout for your safety. as time goes by, she starts to teach you how to fight as well! beidou trusts you and knows you can back her up in a life-threatening battle (god i love her)

while childe enjoys fighting and killing those incredibly slow zombies (his opinion, not mine), he knows very much that he would not like it if you died to one of them. so he dials it back a bit, staying by you in an abandoned building and letting you rest your head on his shoulder while he keeps an eye out during the night. his weapon is right beside him though, one hand on the handle and his other hand wrapped around you. eventually he gets tired and accidentally falls asleep, his head onto yours. no worries though! because of the situation childe's senses are probably even more up, ready to sense any nearing footsteps. you're staying alive with this man surprisingly

diluc will never split away from you or leave you by yourself, that's for sure! he stays with you all the time, making sure you're always right beside him, and stays awake at night to keep watch while you sleep. he only rests when you ask him to although he's still reluctant about it. while he promises and guarantees your safety, just seeing a smile on your face despite the current desperate situation boosts his energy ten times the amount it was before. (aka, you're living for sure) also, imagine this man holding his weapon/claymore over his shoulder and bringing it down to absolutely destroy some zombie?? with his sleeves rolled up?? gah damn <3

eula would rather have a million, no, a billion people throw random crap at her all at the same time then have you get taken away from her by a zombie. even more than that! she loves you dearly and although she may not seem like it, you can most definitely see it through her actions. her arm is always held out in front of you protectively or lightly tugging the side of your shirt towards her figure. if you're ever scared she holds you to her chest at night, combing through your hair with her fingers and whispering into your ear that the both of you will for sure survive. eula plans to stay up 'till the morning until you ask her not to and to rest with you. and who is she to decline her lover?

although jean would be panicking on the inside she stays calm for you, but you can probably still tell that she's pretty bothered. every second she's thinking about what to do next and how to make you feel more relaxed and comfortable despite the situation, wanting you to always feel safe when you're around her (ofc you already do!) she wants you to stay beside her and not run off but even asking you to hold her hand makes her feel flustered! nonetheless, she protects you all the way to the ends of the earth. eventually you ask for her to teach you how to fight against the zombies and a smile makes its way to her face just seeing you practicing with her sword.

look me in the eyes and tell me that keqing would not teach you how to fight with her sword! i could totally imagine her behind you as your practice, her hands guiding your arms and elbows to properly hold the weapon. whenever she hears a sudden noise nearby she reaches for your wrist, pulling you behind her as she holds her weapon out in front of the both of you. she always shields you with her own figure as well. (i can kinda see her boldy stating she'd jump into a horde of zombies for you, just to see you freak out and tell her not to HAHA. she would though!) she also tries to wake up before you do, quietly preparing food and water for you with a relaxed smile on her face from seeing you taking a good rest.

xiao, although quiet, is constantly thinking of you every second. his eyes would always be on you to make sure you don't stray off too far, but he doesn't speak. you do know he cares though! he stays awake all night with your head on his lap, amber eyes piercing through the night while keeping watch. he also walks slower so you can catch up/walks really close to you; either behind you to keep watch or in front of you to protect you in case of any incoming attacking zombies. when xiao does talk however, it's to ask if you're okay and comfortable, he definitely wants to make you feel a bit more safer if possible!

they are a bit clueless, but dead set on protecting you till the end.

AYAKA, BENNETT, GANYU, THOMA

ayaka knows how to fight, it's more about the lack of knowledge on zombies that affects you both. no matter! she contributes as much as she can either way; she forages alongside you for food and likes to wash your hair for you in a calm river. though whenever a zombie walks near she practically throws herself in front of you, hiding you from any potential danger and refusing to move until the zombie is gone from her line of vision. ayaka also keeps a smile on her face to cheer you up, reminding you that she's always there for you and that you're not alone. the both of you will get through the apocalypse for sure, no matter if the world likes it or not.

bennett does not really know much about the zombies, it's already kind of surprising he hasn't been eaten yet (sorry HAHA). he doesn't really mind though, he can fight well but staying beside you is just better! he follows you around and keeps a look out for you both while you are busy searching for random things, handing you supplies from your backpack when you need it. he tries his best to stay out of your way cause he doesn't want to accidentally bother or annoy you but nonetheless, he's somewhat fun to be around in the apocalypse!

ganyu always asks you multiple times if you're sure you want to go out and look for food and materials by yourself. you keep telling her yes, you'll come right back and she needs some rest anyways but in minutes the both of you are outdoors, her hand tightly gripping yours and holding you close. her eyes scan everywhere and every thing, mentally taking notes of anything random in case you guys get lost and need a way/route back. when you finish getting what you were looking for, ganyu pulls you along and you two make a mad dash back to your temporary shelter. needless to say she doesn't think of herself much and only wants to keep you safe near her!

thoma stays unbelievably calm as he treks ahead on the dirt road. his arm is held out in front of you as protection and he gives you a gentle smile as you both walk along. what a gentleman <3 anyways, he always checks with you, asking what you're thinking/feeling and how you're currently doing. he knows the current situation is devastating as is and it's plenty tough already, so he tries his best to soothe your worries and stay close. i don't think thoma would be as clueless as the others, in fact he probably knows a bit more about the zombies then others do! he just chooses to not start fights, staying beside you 24/7 instead.

a bit rash; moving from place to place constantly but they bring you everywhere (and actually care about you a lot)

ALBEDO, AMBER, CHILDE, HU TAO, KAZUHA, XIAO, SCARAMOUCHE

you're panting, sweat lightly coating the sides of your face as you try to force yourself to calm down. both of albedo's hands are placed right beside your figure, his arms caging you between him and a wall with his head inches away from your face. his breaths that lightly fan over your neck make your knees nearly buckle. just moments before, albedo had led you into an abandoned building despite your protests and pointing of the obvious walking zombies nearby. you didn't know what he was doing, eyes only widening in shock as albedo purposely kicked down a metal trash can. he had snatched your hand and raced into a random room and now here you were, waiting for the close by zombies to play away. and when they did you could finally let out a breath of relief, tiredly glaring at albedo when he stated nonchalantly, "huh. so they do attract to loud noises."

amber laughed and smiled sheepishly as she patted your back, your figure crouched while you held yourself up with your palms on your knees. she had just thrown one of her handmade bombs into a group of zombies, efficiently getting rid of them but also bringing attention of other stray zombies towards you both. luckily, you were able to outrun them but even so, you were insanely tired from moving your feet for so long. she patted your head as a silent apology for the mess and held her arms out, motioning that she would give you a piggy back ride. in your exhausted state you immediately accepted her offer, climbing onto her back and wrapping your arms around her neck. it suddenly felt as if there were no zombies and no apocalypse, just you and amber alone in the world as you fell asleep and she walked you both back home.

you couldn't talk, not with your face tucked into childe's chest and his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you close. he quietly whispered into your ear, "don't move." how could you not with him this close?? the thing that kept you from actually squirming was not only his other arm around your waist, it was because of the fact that there was a zombie just a few yards away. luckily for you both it was nighttime, the dark assisting you both in not getting caught. you felt him breath a heavy sigh of relief above you as a signal that the zombie was probably gone from his sight. yet he didn't let go, making you feel flushed as he pressed a kiss on the top of your head and did nothing else. were you two supposed to stay out here all the way until morning? not like you were complaining, in fact you smiled sheepishly into his chest as you sank closer into his touch.

hu tao giggled as you flopped onto your sleeping bag the moment you two both stepped into your temporary hideout. you groaned as she happily exclaimed, "come on, chin up!" you both had walked around all day, hu tao attracting zombies left and right from her loud yelps and laughs. somehow, someway, you were both able to outrun each one that chased after you both. while you were freaking out and panicking, hu tao only enjoyed the whole situation. nonetheless she held your hand while she ran ahead, of course not wanting you to actually get taken. she flopped onto the sleeping bag next to you and gave you a genuine smile you haven't seen in ages. you knew you could never really be mad at her when you did indeed think how fun (yet dangerous) that was. while hu tao promised you to not do that again, you promised yourself that you would make her smile more, even with zombies walking around the world.

you didn't know what to think when kazuha simply smiled, patting your head like he didn't just decimate a group of zombies two seconds ago. all he said was "let's go deeper into the woods, my love," and continued walking along with you behind him. you two weren't really lost, just repeatedly held up by zombies coming your way. and time and time again, kazuha pulled you close to him with one hand while his other hand held out his weapon in front of him. he wasn't very fond of having you see the gory parts of the fight and he showed you that by hiding your face into his chest every time. (were you complaining though? no you were not. you pretty much liked the way kazuha whispered "all done" into your ear when he finished his business.)

you held in a yelp as xiao quickly pushed your head down under his torso, both of you seated right outside an abandoned school's window. his head was slightly over you as you were in a bit of an uncomfortable position, your legs on the spot next to xiao while your upper body was right above his lap. none of you had to say anything to acknowledge that a zombie was nearby, eerily walking in the hallways of the building. you could only hold in a breath as your body felt heated up from the closeness of your figures. your eyes wandered towards everywhere but xiao as he finally let go and let you sit up properly again. seems like he felt the same way too, you seeing in your peripheral vision a light pink tint on the tip of his ears. you guessed even a guy like xiao had the decency to blush during a zombie apocalypse.

both you and scaramouche always liked to test each other's limits, but you didn't think he still would during a zombie apocalypse. here he was, his arms reaching out for you underwater, his hands cupping the undersides of your shoulders as he quickly pulled you rigt back up. right as you reached the water's surface you harshly coughed, letting out the liquid that got traveled to your throat when he pushed you into the river. when you asked him what that was for, he responded with a flustered face that he "didn't have his weapon on him" and 'there was a zombie right there". you learned two things day that: one, scaramouche doesn't deal with zombies and two, he looks good with wet hair.

OH MY GOD IT'S FINALLY DONE. THIS TOOK LITERAL DAYS FOR SUCH A SMALL AMOUNT OF WRITING FOR EACH CHARAFTER 😭 at this point idec if this flops i just need to know how yall think about how i wrote for the women for the first time. please keep me updated!!

tags: @noirkkat, @tiny-aroace, @ben6ett, @abyssheart, @starglitterz, @blisschi, @heavensbeloved, @mystic-helena, @kachuuha-deactivated20210720, @xmellows, @rim0na, @glazelilyy, @yanbub, @urujiako, @eternism, @zaultar, @seerie, @blossomiich, @mika-zuko, @bluexiao, @akinokisetsu, @childe-support, @ariesreii, @storytravelled, @aelatus, @give-xiao-almond-tofu

bold: i can't tag you for some reason!

[fitzells]

OKAY, A REQUEST, okay ~

Could I please have a Mitch Rapp with the prompt "I know you said we're not friends, or anything... but I'm here if you need someone to talk to." 💕

someone to talk to, mitch rapp

notes: hi! trying to be active on here for a while (I have covid so I have lots of free time) this is not proof read and I am very loopy on medication so I'm so sorry if this sucks! initially this was supposed to be a lot fluffier but it just developed into angst, angst and more angst! also requests are open so keep 'em coming

word count: 600+

warnings: mentions of kidnapping, mild cursing, major angst

“I know you said we’re not friends, or anything, but I’m here if you need to talk.”

He leaned against your doorframe, eyebrows furrowed as he watched you; knees tucked up to your chest, chin perched upon your arms. His heart ached at the sight of you, with your tear lined eyes and wounded face. He shouldn’t have let you go, he didn’t care that you were just as if not more experienced than him, or that you guys supposedly hated each other's guts. You were his partner, and he let you leave his sight. He was the reason you’d been kidnapped, and almost tortured to death; it was all his fault.

Mitch couldn’t handle losing you, he wouldn’t survive it. He’d lost almost everybody he had ever loved, and he didn't know what he would do if he had to deal with having your blood on his hands as well.

You looked up at him from across the room, his gruff words cutting through the quiet sounds of your whimpers; the small gesture didn’t go unnoticed by you, he wasn’t usually your go-to for a shoulder to cry on. However, as much as you thought he hated you, on a deeper level, you knew that he would always look out for you. The sight of him made the distinct feeling of despair flood your senses all over again. Seeing all of the bruises and gashes littering his body, from his face down to his bare torso — ones that would undoubtedly scar — and having to know that they were all caused by you. He had to save your ass, yet again, because you were reckless; all you had wanted to do was save as many innocent people as you could, and yet, you put your partner, and the entire team in even more danger.

Your face crumpled up as a stream of salty tears flowed down your cheeks, a shaky hand coming up to cover your mouth whilst ugly sobs flew past your lips. You wanted to scold yourself for being so weak, but all you could think about was how petrified you were, how ill, and frail those assholes had made you. Their torture played on your mind constantly, over and over again like a broken record. You felt so stupid.

Your cries became fiercer, causing Mitch to become more alert, slowly walking over to you, as though to make sure you weren’t startled. Sitting down beside you, he pulled you into his chest; one large hand knotted into your messy hair as the other rubbed soothing circles on your back. He rested his chin on top of your head, fingers trailing up and down your spine carefully.

“You can’t blame yourself for this.” He muttered quietly.

“None of this was your fault.” He added, his words muffled as he moved his lips to your hairline, not pressing a kiss in their wake, just leaving them there. Your salty tears wet the crook of his neck, as your hands balled into fists on his lap.

“I’m so scared.” You whimpered, your trembling hands coming up to cover your face. You shook in his hold, panicked wails being muffled into his neck as he gently shushed you. “I hate feeling like this, I’m just- I feel so weak.”

He shook his head, moving away from you slightly to cup your face in his hands. “You’re not weak. You’re the strongest person I know.”

“You don’t have to be scared.” He promised, whiskey hued eyes staring into your bloodshot ones. “You’re more than able to protect yourself.”

His thumbs swept under your eyes to collect the pool of tears that lay there, as he gave you an undoubtedly small, but nonetheless reassuring smile. “And when you’re not able to protect yourself, I’ll be there. I promise.”

[alberivh]

VEILLE CONGRATULATIONS FOR YOUR MILESTONE YOU DESERVE IT MY LOVE >_< !!!

can i request for first and last letter with childe? T^T childe has so much potential for angst,, thank you for this!! <3

The first and Last

summaries : where childe open his ‘safebox’ after a long time ever since your last appearence in his dream. and because of his undelightful sight of numbness and vulnerable feeling, he decided to read the first and the last letter from you, his dead fiancé.

character : childe x GN! Reader

contains : sickness (implementations of bronchitis), major character death, heavy angst, slight comfort/hurt, over all pure angst, mentions of losing weight.

A/N : hELLO AERI! Thank you very much for requesting this, i hope this suits your liking! (( also please do check aeri’s page @dilucbar for more interesting genshin fic and writing hehe ))

as childe breaks onto the ground of his empty mansion, his numbness began to drown him onto an exhaustion. An empty exhaustion to be exact. A simple pushed-over of his feelings are now an inexistent memory of his, he used to be so bright, but now, What happened to those charming smiles of his? Could it be burned by your ashes? Or did he just simply forgot how to provide his mistakes to love you? He doesn’t know either, All he could felt are just a simple empty tears, scrolling down through his cheekbones. making it seems like he still hide an emotions underneath the crack of his facades.

he drags his body into his bedroom. It’s heavy feelings occurs his way onto his side of the bed, drowning it scents onto his nose. It was pretty messy, full of untidied shirt, fragrance of a dandelion parfume, and most of all, which has always been in a perfect shape and form, covered by a red ribbon, a small box has been in ‘that’ bedside for about 237th days now. The box was an unpleasant sight for him, it was a remembrance for him to realize you were gone and you couldn’t be back. After all death have always craved those who loved him forever and after.

so tonight he decided to open this box. To bring back his vulnerable emotions back. to bring back those glazing eyes of his when he saw you buried underneath the rock of your tombstone. Numb and sorrow are all he could felt, excitement while opening this treasure of his lover pieces are nothing more than a natural hunch of his nature.

The box are full of your handwritten letters you’ve left for him. You’ve always collected the copied of your letter into this old wooden-tile box incase if anything happens to you, he could recollect his memory to remembered you again. ‘In the old days, if you lost your track, find me again through this box darling, sincerely, (name).’ Written in the top of the box instruction. He opens through the first letter of the stockpiles , it was one of your first letter for him. The most memorable one in fact. Written in the most familiar and comforting handwriting he has missed for ages.

to my dearest, ajax.

I haven’t seen you in ages, where have you been? Have you had a good time with the new recruits? Are you feeling well? Do you have any new interest while exploring the inner city of fontaine? AHH I HAVE SO MANY QUESTION FOR YOU, YOU SHOULD JUST BE BACK SO I COULD INTEROGATE YOU MOREE,, I was about to surprised you back then with a classic snzehnayan dish you’ve always craved for, but you know.. you just disappeared to a dust and it make me thinks you are a hallucination of mine, but now i’ve heard you have an amazing time in fontaine, i couldn’t help but smile and feel relieved. i’m glad you had a great time darling, Really glad in fact!

So please do bring me some souvenir as a return of your..compensation for keeping me waiting hehe, i’ll see you soon then!

from, your lover, (name)

It was your last letter you’ve sent to your lover, before childe came screaming on your name at the emergency room, searching for your figure to be embrace in his arm. To comfort you he said, despite the worries and sweats he witness while in his way to check your structure, you’re his fiance after all, He couldn’t lose you for everything, childe is too selfish to expect the best of you.

He remembers when he was feeding you, taking care of you like another baby-sibling of his and still loves you nonetheless. Maybe only childe could do it, he prepared everything for you, leading you with the wheelchair or even hand carry you in one arm if your condition lead you to be more clingy to him. He does it all for you, for you to be happy and stay a little bit more longer than he expected to be. Just for you to be more selfish, so death could wait longer for your arrival.

Bronchitis is the name of the disease, a deadly one in fact. If it were not taken care of, maybe you were already dead by now. Maybe it would be pointless for childe to scream your name in the emergency room, searching for you, anyone but you.

as you were coughing in his arms ; making many form of mucus in your lungs, while he carries you in his shoulder, patting your back so you could feel much more in ease. You feel so light now and you’ve lost so many weight, it worries him to the edge. Though your tenderness have always lingers onto his body, it still stressed him, you’re not supposed to be gone this fast, you’re supposed to be alive and well. Let him die, he is a murderer of the innocence yet he still live long and well. How ironic it is for the sinner to always stand as the first and the last?

“ajax..i’ve prepared so many things for you, these past days..though i would say i’m still scared of letting you go..”

“Hmm..and why is it my love?” , curious and in interest of knowing much more of your recent condition, he asked you straightforwardly. Voice gone anxious and body became colder than before, you find it precious how he always prioritize you over everything.

“i just don’t want to die..i don’t want to..this breathing ventilator sucks..i really want to be with you ajax, i really want to..” you were sobbing in his jacket, hiding your face in his embrace, not wanting him to see the awful side of you for being too egoistic for your own stability.

“just, ajax..if i left you..please take that box i’ve always brought..read the last letter if you’re ready..i loved you…so much..”

you’re lost in the snow, starting your new ways in heaven. Leaving him behind ; alone. even after encouraging you to stay longer than he will, though if he think it again, it was all a bullshit for you to stay. now, he is ready to witness the pieces of you he always wanted to knew, a new pieces of you to be loved again by him. Just please let it be a decent farewell, he didn’t ask for more, but just a decent love and farewell are all he could ask for.

opening in terror of expectation. he found himself to be quite charmed by the appearence of this letter. Sniffs and sobs crawling down to his cheeksbone, making it seems like he was finally reaching his emotions after the emptiness he felt these past seconds.

to, my dearest, ajax.

Ajax, You probably read this when i’m already gone. It might be hard to move on and live another life, still I hope your managing well in your current life, i’ll always look upon you my love. Just please do not harm yourself, i’ve always been worried about you since i lay in this painfully awful bed. So please, would you keep it mind..? i loved you so much that i have no hesitation to continue to love you more in the afterlife. I’m just too selfish for you, for you to withess nor to love.

I don’t think i’ll be able to send you all of my letters for you in this box i’ve always treasured. Though i have certain thoughts to be filled when i wrote this letter. I know i haven’t been a good lover for you, you’ve always taken care of me and i could only nod in gratitude. I really wish the god’s gave me two chance to live with you again, just for myself to stay even if it pains me. I don’t want to die, i don’t want to. I hope i could live another day everytime i sleep in your arms, i don’t want to lose another person because my time has losen up. I regretted this, everything.

And if in another life i could called you by your name again. Please do recognize me as your old lover. Thoug if it meant for me to forget about you, at least those deja vu from our past could bring you back to me. I do not beg for more sympathy from you, you’re too precious for me. You shouldn’t have suffer this much because of me. I loved you ajax. even if it were only the last chance for you to met me again in your dream or hallucination. I wish you a farewell, a pleasing farewell. I couldn’t bare someone to hurt because of their lost, just because i’m not strong enough to stay with you and outlived you.

Ah and remember the souvenir you gave to me from fontaine? i’ve always used it ever since you gave it to me. I don’t know if you realized it or not, but this gift from you have always been one of my comfort, it was the only pieces of you that i could remember when you were not here with me. I have no regrets that i still could hold into it until my death. So take it, it could be the only remembrance of me till the end of the 100 years of your life.

So ajax, know your worth. You are far from perfect yet the sight of you have always been one of the reason i’m alive. Don’t be too selfish to give someone a chance to survive, live well and die well. You’ve always have been my last memory of the lover i clearly love wholeheartedly. Love yourself for me, for you, and for the others who listen to your pleas. Found me again in the afterlife won’t you? I love you.

from, your old lover, (name).

he was crying in tears of hopeless numbness and sorrow. How many times has he been cussing a ‘fuck’ out of his mouth? He doesn’t even know, He lost count. He was crying in the ground, leaving puffy cheeks and eyes behind. your words are too much for him to bare. You are too kind for him, too much for him. The grief of losing you are already too much for him to bare. He doesn’t want to remember you are dead, he just wants to remember how much you loved him. It comforted him, always have been. But now you’re gone, he could only hold into the tiny box of his lovers oath. It’s a curse to be loved by you.

[yhwhsdaughter]

pairing: trevor belmont x fem reader

content: forced vampirism, monster slaying, main character death, pining, angst, mention of animal death, usage of the word ‘assault’ to refer vampires feeding on reader

- this was meant as platonic soulmates but it can be seen as romantic too

“It hurts…”

Feet dragging across the rocky ground, you heard screeches of pain from behind, though they soon diminished. You could only focus on the pulsing sensation at the side of your neck; it was like fire rushing through your veins.

Preoccupied with your agony, Belmont was able to sneak up. He raised his whip, ready to kill off the last of the creatures when you suddenly turned, and with glossy eyes you said, “Help me…”

The whip managed to leave a thin horizontal line across your cheek as he pulled back, causing blood to drip out slowly. Now illuminated by the moon, Belmont saw the damage on you. Skin exposed by the ripped clothes showed multiple bite marks. Blood stained the corner of your lips.

She’s been infected..

Belmont didn’t see a monster but a scared woman who’d just been assaulted by vampires. He knew what she’d turn into, but he couldn’t kill her… not when she looked at him like this. Sunrise was approaching so he had to act fast.

Draping his cloak onto your form, Belmont proceeded to carry you into the nearest building, which so happened to be where the carnage had occurred. Upon recognizing the place, you began to panic, shaking and looking at him with distrust. “You’re safe. I killed every last of those bloodsuckers.”

The two of you stayed like that for a while, in that shitty stinking room. Eventually tiredness overcame your senses; Belmont felt weight settle on his shoulder. He wonder how a vampire could look so innocent whilst sleeping.

“Hungry…”

You felt parched; it felt like your throat had dried up, barely able to utter a word.

“I know.”

A rabbit was placed in front of you. Blinking at it, you directed a confused glance at the man. “I’m—this is.. for me?” He nodded. Taking the animal with traces of disgust, you raised it to your mouth. Blood gushed into your mouth; feeding made a horrible slurping that would certainly haunt you but there was relief amongst those troubling feelings.

You gulped every last drop, draining the poor creature of its life. Still, your hunger and thirst weren’t satiated. Biting your lip, you pondered on the next move. Because this man had saved you, daring to kill him or even feed off him seemed… rude. Not to mention, he seemed way stronger than you in terms of experience. Prior to this, you were a regular citizen. Maybe you could run away?

“Here.”

Trevor could see your turmoil. Most vampires needed to drain at least one human every time they fed—if they were being generous. They could survive weeks without blood but it made them weaker. Besides, it was older vampires who had this kind of self control. Newborns tended to be more unstable.

“Just take it before I change my mind.”

You did as told, though you were still unsure. Hesitating, you licked your lips before nearing towards the vein on his wrist.

Trevor let out a grunt when your fangs pierced him. Although you tried to be gentle, it was an uncomfortable feeling nonetheless. As he became lightheaded and you full, the mouth that was attached to his wrist removed itself with a ‘pop’.

After making sure he was alright, you asked for his name. “Trevor. Trevor Belmont.”

“Oh..”

“……”

“Oh! I’m (Name) (Surname).”

─── ☾☼☽ ───

“It’s dangerous.”

“I still-still want to go!”

The last remnants of sun were gone. Ever since your first encounter with the rugged monster hunter, you refused to part from him, following the latter like a lost puppy.

“I’m not much of a fighter.. b-but watch this!”

On cue, you punched the nearest tree, cracking it and making a sizable hole. You looked back proudly towards Trevor; except when you tried to pull your hand out, you were having difficulty.

“Ah. It’s stuck.”

Trevor couldn’t help but chuckle, walking away, clearly amused with your display of power. You pulled harder, “Hold on! Don’t leave me alone! It’s scary..” you muttered the last part while chasing after him. Despite being a creature of the night, the world and its evils still frightened you.

At the sound of a branch snapping, you yelped, grabbing a piece of Trevor’s cloak for security.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Belmont when you punched a head clean off, practically decapitating one of the attackers. He might have been seriously injured if you had not intervened.

“Trevor.”

Gazing at you under the moonlight, he saw the hunger in your eyes as you held a man whom was still alive but struggling. His neck was exposed. Even so, you waited.

The Belmont turned away, giving you privacy to feed.

He knew that by allowing you to live, you would continue to take blood from others. Normally he wouldn’t feel soft towards a monster but whenever he thought of you, it was different.

His guilt was lessened when you drank from scum. Before putting the lives of innocents in danger, he would offer his own.

“Are you done?”

The corpse of the man was dropped unceremoniously as you joined Trevor, a light skip to your step.

─── ☾☼☽ ───

Despite adopting a nighttime lifestyle, Trevor was still human and had to conduct business during daylight hours.

He’d left your lodgings, which was an abandoned cottage, for a while. Nobody really passed through there anyway, so he thought you were safe. Worst came to worse, you could handle yourself. But as your self proclaimed protector, Trevor felt uneasy leaving you alone.

Maybe he should’ve listened to his gut because when he arrived, the door was wide open with dirty footprints leading in all the way to your coffin.

Two men had opened it—staring at the peaceful expression on your face, unaware that they were here to end you. To them it was obvious what you were. Even with that frilly white dress that made you look somewhat angelic, they couldn’t be fooled. As they raised their weapons to strike, Trevor used his whip. His sudden entrance startled them but it gave you the chance to wake up.

Eyes snapping open, you jumped onto the other man, taking both of you to the ground. His screams echoed shortly as you tore into his throat. The remaining one had no chance; Trevor left the room, closing the door on his way out, killing the light that entered and cutting off the way to escape.

Left alone with your prey, a smile crept up your face.

When you opened the door again, the dress which decorated your body was now stained red. There was hardly a clean piece on the material. Even so, you greeted Trevor with a hug.

“Trevor..”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“M-me too..”

─── ☾☼☽ ───

Forty years passed in the blink of an eye.

“You should retire.”

“Belmonts don’t retire. The only rest they get is when they’re dead.”

“Well I don’t want you to die.”

“I have to, someday.”

“No you don’t.”

It’s been like this for the past few years; Trevor was sixty now. His body didn’t look that of an aging man, but the expression on his face did. He’d seen too much and as time passed, it was harder to fight monsters by himself.

Of course you’d noticed that and suggested turning him. It was an ongoing discussion; Trevor didn’t fancy the idea of living an eternal life but the thought of leaving this earth without you was disheartening. He didn’t say it but the situation tore him apart.

There was also the fact that he was too old for you; forty years to be exact. You’d maintained your youth, looking lovely as ever. His doubts were shot down when you immediately said that you didn’t care about that.

“I just want you.”

He always kept pushing the conversation away and you were patient. Trevor supposed that you could’ve taken him by force if you wanted and when he inquired, you told him it would be like violating him, robbing him of the choice you were never given.

As understanding as you were; the time would come for him to decide and confront you about it.

That time was now.

He should have been more careful, but there was nothing to be done about it now. Trevor watched as the sun slowly descended. Would you make it here before he passed? Would he die without seeing you one last time?

When you woke night had already fallen. Trevor wasn’t home; he’d been late plenty of times before but this occasion felt different.

Upon stepping outside, the smell of blood hit you. It reeked, staining the very air. You immediately recognized the source—how could you not? You’d fed from Trevor countless times.

Rushing in that direction, you prayed to whatever entity was listening to keep Trevor safe. The world and its gods could condemn you, but not him.

Not him.

You found him sprawled on a big rock, a creature hovering over his crumpled figure. Without thinking, you tore it to pieces. Blood rained as his mangled body flew to various parts of the forest.

“Trevor!!!”

He let out a groan, which would’ve made you sigh in relief but his visible injuries proved otherwise. You were no doctor and even if you could carry him into town, it would be too late. There was no other option. If you didn’t do anything, you might lose him.

“Trevor. Let me do it.”

Still conscious enough to reply, “I don’t want to become—”

“A monster?”

“I cannot become what I sought to destroy..”

Tears escaped your eyes, blurring the image of the person whom you treasure most. “Please.. please please please..! Don’t leave me alone!”

You begged, knowing it was unfair to pressure him in such way but you couldn’t bare the thought of existing if he wasn’t present. He was your salvation, your companion…your world. And yet, he was being robbed from you.

So soon… It’s too soon!

You always imagined Trevor living well into old age, spending the remainder of his life with you, being happy. He was destined to die peacefully, not like this. Not in this shitty place, by the hands of a shitty monster!

“I can’t. I’m sorry..”

Grabbing his hands, you lowered your forehead on them, crying your heart out. It was unfair. Life was unfair.

“Kiss me.”

Despite the pain that he was in, Trevor found it in himself to smile. For you. “Kiss me one last time.” Tears dropped slowly as you heard him. Shaking your head; you couldn’t kill him.

“I want it to be you..”

His words struck a chord.

Lifting him by the neck in a gentle manner, you pushed the collar of his shirt aside, exposing his carotid. As you bit into his familiar skin once more, your other hand caressed him, trying to make this goodbye as painless as possible.

With every sip you took, tears fell down.

I love you! I love you! I love you!

His warm hand turned cold.

You held him in your arms like he once did to you, with the outmost care, with the love he deserved.

Since Trevor didn’t say where he wanted his body to be buried, you chose the nicest spot. It was a secluded place where it wouldn’t be dug up by animals or people—but not so hidden either.

Whilst cleaning the blood that covered his body and face, you found a piece of cloth with writing on it. Staring at it, you recognized the Belmont insignia. Turning the material, you managed to read the words…

Take this. Go to Alucard.

Trevor must’ve written that in his final moments; probably in case he didn’t make it before you arrived. The letters were sloppy because of the blood but you could read it well.

Clutching it to your chest, you sobbed until the light of day began to burn. For a moment you wished to stay there and disappear. Perhaps you could join Trevor.

Together even in death..

─── ☾☼☽ ───

The journey was rather long.

Looming in all its glory, Castle Dracula. You looked at the last piece of your beloved, holding it tighter in your hand.

“Okay. Let’s meet this Alucard.”