#always reaching to do better

[sweeteastart]

Having post anxiety about posting some kind of art and not another is weird.

I've been posting my artwork continually since 2016 and never got much anxiety over it. Threw it into the void with some broken English and forgot it existed the next second. I even started posting my Cosplays about 3 years ago. Which is basically me in a costume and it also never put any pressure on me. It's kinda whatever.

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO MY WRITING.

BOY, OH BOY AM I TERRIFIED.

My writings were the first thing I ever shared publicly back in my teenage years. It was in my native language in the glory days of wattpad and it was soooo disastrous but fun. At some point I stopped. I got into drawing and it took a step back.

However, now that I'm older ... I get unreasonably afraid about sharing my work. The moment I share my words publicly, i feel pressured. Somehow I have this "it has to be perfect" or "I'll be judged into oblivion" mentality that plagues my mind.

My best guess is that I can't judge how good I am at it unlike with my art and cosplay. My brain can't analyse the words on the page and give it an appreciation. So I feel like it's automatically awful.

It may not be. It might be good. But I don't know that. That's so scary as an artist to put work out there that you, it's very own creator, can't analyse critically. Scary that people will judge it and you won't be able to defend it because YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S WORTH.

Don't get me wrong. I fricking love writing. I've been doing it on and off without posting it for almost ten years. It's a hobbit that i will cherish no matter what people might say about it.

It's just.... Anxiety. Pressure. Striving to be better at my craft. A craft that's been 10 years in the making.... Yet I don't know where I am in it. I don't know if I'm good, bad or meh. It's so much more terrifying to not know where you are than knowing you're bad at it.

[u5an5]

Just watched Deadpool & Wolverine with polish subs based on dub and I have to be honest, there's much more funny stuff than I expected, considering that the rest of it made me glad I'm not watching it with actual dub

So, things that picked my interest:

Instead "207 when I watch Gossip Girl" he straight up says "207 when I watch porn" (Gossip Girl isn't especialy popular show here so reference wouldn't mean anything for majority of audience anyway, but to straight up say it instead replacing it?)

"Ok peanut, 'guess we're getting that team-up after all" got replaced with "Okej ptysiu, nie ma to jak seks grupowy", which translates to "Okay cutiepie, nothing better than group sex" (??? we're still in the first 5 minutes of the movie)

"you know what they say, when one door closes, your locker at work opens" translated to "Jak to mówią… Jak zamykają od przodu, to ładujesz się od tyłu" which translates roughly to "Like they say... when they close the front, you get in the behind" which I find kinda funny

Peters line about seeing Wade in suit comes of gayish cause he doesn't say he wants to see him in the suit again, he wants to LOOK at him in it again, you know what I mean

intead "This guy looks ready to throw it all away for me" he says "This cutie would gladly get hugged by my bowels" which is a lot more straightforward than I expected

Wades spiel to comic acurate height Wolverine is much more insulting and instead being all "what a cwute short king you awe" translates to "Oh fuck, a furball dwarf? Was there even dwarf like that? Furballs mommy drank lots of booze when she was pregnant? Maybe daddy was a ratferret? Don't even come near me, 'cause you surely have ticks"

"I need you to come with me, right now" to "Zapraszam cię na randke, i to natychmiast" meaning "I invite you to a date, and I mean right now" (Logan replies with "Złotko, nie kręci mnie to" which translates to "Sweetie, I'm not diggin' it" and by "it" I'm honestly not sure if he means Wade himself, the fact that Wade said he's only here because he's the Wolverine just a second ago, or because his suit looks like fetish gear)

"It's quite common to Wolverines after 40" to "It's normal when going trough menopause, I get it"

they replaced "peanut" to different endearments to not be repetive but the most often used one is "ptysiu" (ptyś is a choux pastry; if I had to translate it as english endearment, I'd go with cutiepie). its cute imo

Logans "bub" also got replaced by endearments/insults losely fitting situation but the stupidest one has to be Logan calling Johnny "misiu", which translates to "little bear" and let me tell you, it's HILARIOUS cause it's equvalent of calling a random guy "sweetie" but in the "your grandma asking if you want seconds (yes you do, no you don't have any say)" way

"my boy's wicked strong" is translated to "mój chłopak zna się na rzeczy". It's slightly like the papi situation from spanish dub cause yes, "chłopak"'s direct translation is often "boyfriend" but it is also used as "boy", "guy" or "dude", usualy towards guys younger/about the same age as you. However, the addition of "mój"/"mine, my" makes it much more angled towards boyfriend, wherever they wanted to or not. There are at least three different ways to translate it and make it less gae I know and the've still chosen this one.

They made, in my opinion, the "its a common curtesy to ask" "Its good thing I don't give a fuck" lines better by translating them to "you shoud've ask, thats polite thing to do" "and you can politely fuck off"

they replaced Star Trek reference with Star Wars one, using Han Solo instead Spock and idk. on one hand they did it to THE spirk moment but on the other they made, and I may be reaching, but it seems like covert reference to "I know" scene so ??? (star trek is nowewhere near as known as star wars here so they would probs replace it either way but it also can be just "star trek and star wars sound so much alike, they have to be basically the same, right?" haha joke)

them instead innuendos using the most over the top forms of insult that no one ever heard is kinda funny but only because I only had to read them; if I ever heard somone call somebody "kutasina" irl I would find a way for at least one of us to not be able to hear anything ever again ("cockleter" is my best attempt to recreate this horseshit)

If you guys want to share some treasures from your native dubs/subs, feel free to

[naamahdarling]

You know what? You know what I think?

I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.

The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.

I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.

But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.

We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.

That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.

I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.

Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.

I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.

[the-great-horse-cocktail]

Alternate timeline where Stanley doesn’t accidentally ruin Ford’s project but he still doesn’t get into Geek Life University bc some kid showed up with a baking soda volcano

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.

His grey hairs are so earned

[knifearo]

aspecs: i've been thinking a lot lately about the "ace people can still have sex in a relationship/aro people can still be in romantic relationships" sentiment and the logistics of being aspec in relationships in general. obviously, the predominant sentiment is that you should be able to have a relationship where the other person will be happy without having sex/being romantic with you. if you feel comfortable sharing in tags/replies/reblogs/asks/whatever, though, i'd really like to hear people's experiences with sex/romance in relationships as an ace/aro person. have you found it generally possible to have a relationship with an allo person when you're ace and don't want to engage in sex? what are people's experiences being aro and being in relationships (labeled romantic or otherwise) with alloros? reblogging for reach is appreciated and any related experiences you feel comfortable sharing are completely welcome <2

[katabay]

ANDREY STAMATIN

Keep a close eye on Peter. You'd become desperate and turn into a villain without him.

I spend a lot of time thinking about daniil and peter, but something just clicked into place for me with andrey. so!

I am. currently untangling this thread of thoughts about the stamatin twins and daniil and this kind of. triangle that's happening. a three fold bullet for sure, the kind of recognition-awareness-understanding where three people become one, but to step back from that. when daniil and andrey talk, there's a specific shape of peter that stands in his conversational absence. so: triangle formation. it's opposite-adjacent-complementary to daniil and peter's conversations. it all goes back to that first conversation you have with andrey. it's giving knife. love it!

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost

[spiritofpassionfruit]

A–Aventio TGCF idea?? Wherein Civil God Veritas Ratio meets the infamous Ghost King Aventurine during his first mission cuz cuz like— The "live for me" paralels?!? The one who has all the luck partner as well?!? The villain who was actually not the Villain this whole time!?!? The loving humanity a little too much it causes their downfall !?!?!?

Rant AU in the tags proceed with caution

[thatonecrookedsmile]

Recovered photo of Joey Drew. Taken December 31, 1944, during a New Year's Eve party at the Arch residence, photographed by George Parker. Photo depicts Mr. Drew shaking hands with an unknown man in a hat. Attempts to identify the man and his whereabouts have been unsuccessful. -The ArchGate Preservation Society.

-Record-

-----

Alternatively: 'Unknown' - Return to the Studio AU.

Even though he was the one who personally invited every guest at the party, when Joey later asked him who the "strange man" was, Nathan had no idea who he was referring to, even with Drew's specifics.

After several years have passed, looking back at the photo, Nathan still has no idea who this man is or how he got into the party.

Joey described the encounter as something that "started out pleasantly, and ended on a very uncomfortable note."

[ganondoodle]

something i didnt say over here but probably should-

i, in truth, dont know if im actually as annoying or "childish" or aggressive as i feel like im being

i feel like, i got a uniquely bad case of autism obsession and over-emotionality, constantly guilty for feeling so much, like me failing to keep my own emotions under control is purely a failure on my part, like i shouldnt feel this much, i am not allowed to feel like this, no one else seems to fail it like i do, over and over again i get overwhelmed by my own feelings and even if it isnt a full breakdown-

(meltdown? which i think is soemthing else and honestly ..... i do not want to have ever again, its the ultimate loss of control where i dont even feel like im piloting my own body, like im possessed by something, which is not really something that happens online, that is a thing that happens to me rarely in real life)

- i still feel so overwhelmingly stupid, like you jsut watched yourself turn into a toddler screaming bloody murder bc mom didnt buy the thing you wanted, and then are suddendly back to yourself but to everyone else you didnt change at all so everyone looks at you like you just lost your mind over nothing and thats just how you are normally

that together with being online and people likely seeing only a fraction of who you are, plus my tendency to ... be like this mostly when im not liking something just .... makes me feel so damn guilty, maybe something like public shame too? or the old problem of feeling like a burden?

i dont know, i cant seem to imagine people can see me like that and not be annoyed or weirded out by it, especially when they only realyl see that side of me, and i feel so damn guilty for it, the class weirdo who randomly starts to cry over seemingly nothing like i have always been, and i shouldnt be, i should have grown and gotten better and be in control at all times by now i just ... "havent tried hard enough"

[sysig]

A very normal scientist doing very normal gene splicing experiments (Patreon)

[gornackeaterofworlds]

SOMA au Leo

Click for unfuzziness

[grassoftunnel]

Choice Theft in the second degree, with utter disrespect

“To take the choice of another … to forget their concrete reality, to abstract them, to forget that you are a node in a matrix, that actions have consequences. We must not take the choice of another being. ”

from Perdido Street Station by China Miéville

The way Genji, Kumasawa, and Nanjo constantly refer to the rape as being like…The One Sin that Kinzo ever did in regards to Beatrice 2. As though they weren’t there actively helping him to raise her in isolation, imprisonment, lying to her about the world, about herself. As if that’s not also a nightmarish abusive situation already, just on it’s own. We have so little of Beatrice 2, but it’s an undeniable fact that she was a human utterly devoid of agency in every single way.. They stole from her even the choice to be angry or upset or aware about what was happening to her, what had happened to her. Of the choice to be a human and not a witch. Of the choice to be a daughter and not a wife. Genji’s half-truth phrasings during the games too when dodging confirmation from the siblings about whether Kinzo had a child with his mistress are especially disgusting. Since he’s not just outright lying like Nanjo, but denying Beatrice 2’s personhood as an individual, and slyly using Kinzo’s grooming logic that she was not really herself, but someone else (her mother), even if he did genuinely feel bad for her. I’m sure Genji, Kumasawa, and Nanjo contented themselves by thinking that a bird in a cage doesn’t long for the outside. But that’s a theft in itself. And this choice theft is only continued with Sayo. Robbed of her own unsurgically-altered body. Robbed of the context of her life. Robbed of the ability to make choices based on those two things. And then in telling her, far too late, she is robbed of the mundane, uncomplicated love that had existed in her heart for Battler. Robbed of a lineage not tainted by the most horrific abuse. Robbed even of the ability to look at her own father, at the people who raised her, with respect. Like…HELL IS NOT HOT ENOUGH!!!!

[skrunksthatwunk]

something he can't put into words.

[theswedishpajas]

The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄

[aroanthy]

(anthytouga voice) why would i be compassionate to nanami ew disgusting nanami’s literally the worst nanami is a cockroach i hope she dies she’s so fucking stupid oh my god being compassionate to nanami is the worsttttttt so what if the worst things ever happen to her and it’s my fault that’s just lifeohhhhhhhhhhh oh? utena is experiencing the worst things ever and i helped? and i helped? oh well i should just kill myself. oh well i should just kill myself and save her because actually utena is Good. and stupid. but Good. unlike nanami lol nanami was born cursed to suffer haha nanami’s got that karmic punishment coming lollllll But Utena Does Not <3