#although to be fair both are hot concepts

[vampirehizzies]

okay guys let's tally the fetishes i've written for: first hair fetish and now foot fetish. does anyone wanna see any other clato fics where they're weird freaks about something

[alcoholfreenayeon]

Could you do a Twice HC with their kinks? ~

Nayeon

Nayeon is fairly kinky. She’s more or less open minded about trying out things.

She’s also a bit of an exhibitionist. She’s the eldest of the group, the members especially the younger ones look up to her and respect her. Yet the thought of them watching or walking in while she’s doing the deed with her partner just seems to her turn on. It makes her feel really naughty.

Praise and Degradation kink. Whether you treat her with love and tenderness, praising her actions and responses or if you treat her roughly, letting her know just how much of a slut she is for you and only you it doesn’t matter. This girl will feel extremely turned on in both scenarios. Moreover, she also is really vocal towards you and will also often praise or degrade you depending on the situation or what you like.

She likes role playing, teacher-student, any concept with royalty and even other ideas such as boss-employee. Although the sexual tension between her and her partner often disappears as Nayeon ends up laughing in the middle of acting it out.

While it’s fairly common to perceive Nayeon as a switch or even a sub, she can be unexpectedly commanding at times. It’s not unusual for her partner hoping for some sexy time to end up being ordered to eat her out till she passes out.

Jeongyeon

Saying Jeongyeon is vanilla would just be wrong. Is she the kinkiest person in twice? Well, no….but in fairness to her she is facing quite a lot of competition and the standard is fairly high so while it may seem that she’s much more tame than some of her fellow members, you’d be quite surprised by what this girl is capable of.

While she is quite open minded her kinks don’t really go in any extreme direction. Like a jack of all trades, she’s fine with most things and catches on fairly quickly but has no interests that are extreme or niche.

Her favorite scenario while role playing is of a Police officer catching someone for speeding. She generally likes to be the officer but also doesn’t mind being the offender.

Although she’s definitely the dominant one especially in the bedroom, she’s more of a soft top, happy to let the her partner’s interests and kinks take priority.

Momo

Momo will give you the whole deal, she’s hot. She’s confident. She’s also quite kinky. And she knows it. In fact, she’ll give you a list of exactly what she wants to do to you or you to her if it means she gets to have her desires fulfilled and experience euphoria.

Choking is something she’s really into, when she’s on top don’t be surprised if you end up feeling her hands around your neck while sensually whispering something that will send chill down your spine because whatever she said, you want it. You need it. Simply because she knows you and your kinks just as well as you hers.

Momo is really into lingeries, she’ll often end up surprising you with different ones either of you like. She also likes it if you dress up into something she finds sexy as well. Although you hesitate with it since she more often than not ends up ripping off your clothes despite your complaints. She then points out that you never seem to have a problem with it in the moment to which you have no reply.

Occasionally she is up for some BDSM but due to her busy schedule it’s not a common occurrence mainly down to her preference of BDSM being something that requires a good amount of time and effort which she cannot afford frequently.

Sana

Sana is the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Everyone wants her. Everyone desires her. But no one really knows who she actually is. You see, Sana knows how desired she is and she absolutely loves it. She thrives off it. But she’ll never let you know that.

She’ll lure you in slowly, make you think or rather believe that the her kinks are very similar to yours and the two of you are extremely compatible. And perhaps that is true to an extent. After all, she is very open minded.

However her true kink isn’t anything that she’d lead you to believe, her real kink in having power. Power over you specifically. She’ll lure you in and keep you enchanted without you ever realizing it.

Now all that really matters for you is Sana and she’s so happy that you love her so much.

Jihyo

Jihyo in bed has a similar demeanor to her on stage, confident, excited, and in command. This girl has been leading by example for the longest time and is the same in the bedroom. She’ll leave you on the floor, gasping and panting helplessly while seeing stars, feeling utterly exhausted and used. Yet, to Jihyo that’s just another day.

Like a good leader(or mommy), she doesn’t hesitate towards your wants and needs. Unsurprisingly it frequently involves playing with her boobs, which she is more than happy to oblige with since secretly she has a breast play kink and loves it when asked to play with them. She’d never admit it of course.

Jihyo also has a breeding kink, which her partner eventually understands why after seeing her during sex when she is in a feral and primal state. While her partner might get worried at times, she always reassures them that it’s fine or teases them that she is ready to be a parent.

Occasionally she yields and let’s her partner take the lead if they wish. But beware, she won’t let you rest until she feels satisfied when she subs and failing to live up to her expectations will result in her taking charge again and using you til she feels sated and could also possibly be much more rough than usual.

Mina

Mina is really into all the aspects of BDSM. Whether it is being tied up or tying up her partner. Being dominated or dominating her partner. Being sadistic or masochist she is up for it all. The dual aspect of her in bed is quite reflective of whether she is feeling more Mina or Sharon.

She is into erotic asphyxiation, basically choking. She likes doing it to her partner especially when she’s on top. Hearing them whimper and breathless really turns her on. She also is very demanding and cold when she’s being dominant, expecting every word of what she orders her partner to be obeyed

When she’s the bottom, she likes being spanked but generally goes along with what her partner wants.

Mina prefers sex to be rough and intense. Being lost in the moment turns her on. She often daydreams after naughty things she could do to her partner. She’s excellent in giving after care and never seems to be tired after sex.

Dahyun

The charismatic, cheerful and the oldest amongst the maknae. Little do you know, she wants to be degraded mercilessly.

While you dominate this girl, she’ll want you to make full use of her flexible body. She also has a daddy kink.

Dahyun is also into getting her hair pulled. This pair’s extremely well with her other kinks like being degraded.

Dahyun while generally is a sub, she prefers to be dominant when role playing. She does her part surprisingly well as the dominant one and results in you teasing her with how serious she becomes while role playing

Chaeyoung

Chaeyoung is, much to her partner’s surprise a power bottom. While she may seem all flustered, Chaeyoung actually planned for it to be that way. She’ll leave hickey marks all over her partner. Despite her calm demeanor, she becomes really possessive during sex and wants 100% of her partner’s attention.

Even though she has an excellent sense of fashion, Chaeyoung prefers her partner to be the one who dresses up. She loves the effort that’s been put up for her.

She is into wax play and does it really well. Inspite of her partner’s obvious nervousness, Chaeyoung manages to make it an extremely sensual and satisfying experience.

Orgasm control is something that Chaeyoung frequently does. Hearing you plead and beg for release really pushes her buttons.

Tzuyu

Tzuyu is a sub at first but eventually becomes more of a switch with her partner. She has a huge praise kink. Given her naturally cautious and somewhat shy personality it makes sense. Being praised during intimacy makes her feel closer with her partner and makes it easier for her to open up to them.

Although Tzuyu would rather she died before anyone other than her partner found out, she is into a bit of exhibitionism. She thinks it sets a good change of pace. The first time it happened she ended up blushing uncontrollably and backing out cause she got too nervous.

She likes to dress up for her partner and is open to role play. She endlessly teased you when you wanted Tzuyu to roleplay as a character from a show you liked.

Every now and then Tzuyu shows you her dominant side and takes complete control, doing all the work. You’d NEVER admit it but hearing Tzuyu speak such a commanding tone makes you feel somewhat weak.

[baejax-the-great]

Hi, I saw on one of your ao3 comments that you think Homers' Achilles is on the spectrum. This is a really interesting idea to me, but I don't know that much about autism - could you elaborate on why you think that? (Also, I think all of your fics are amazing ☺️)

Autism as a word and diagnosis did not exist in ancient Greece, and I have no idea if there would have been a similar concept about it (doubt it) or if more likely people with certain autistic traits would have been considered to have a certain type of personality. So for me to say that Homer deliberately wrote Achilles as "autistic" is a little tongue in cheek.

That said, reading the Iliad I did have a moment of "Ohhhh, dude's autistic I get it." Some people might look at my reasoning and say, "well, that could be a whole other thing with these other reasons," and that's fair. This is just how it came across to me and why.

Sense of justice/fairness. This is one of the more obscure autistic traits (that often gets misunderstood and shit upon by people), but it's how the book begins, so I'll start here. Autistic people are more likely to learn and follow rules to a T. This gets rolled into the trait of "rigid thinking" and has been related to autistic people's preference for solid routines. To think about where you lie with this trait, one example is the "walk" signal at a crosswalk. Some people jaywalk when the road is very clear and no one is around. Some people jaywalk when the road ISN'T clear because they don't give a fuck. And some people will wait for that light to turn white no matter what because that's what you are supposed to do and there are rules (although culture/country of origin will also affect how much relevance traffic lights have in your life).

This is a rule, but it has little do to with justice. So to figure out where you stand in terms of justice sensitivity, another metric is how angry you feel when you watch someone cut in line and not get punished for it. Some of us will sigh and move on with our life because dicks are everywhere, whatever, and some people will have a harder time letting go because this person broke a rule in an obviously unfair way, and they should be punished for that.

This trait does not mean that autistic people have a better sense of what justice is or what rules/laws are "just." That is all very subjective. But this trait does result in a stronger negative reaction to seeing those rules/laws violated.

Such as rage.

Achilles fits the bill here in both in terms of rigid thinking and his sense of justice. His reputation in the Greek tradition is as someone who was very educated. In fact, he is the most educated with regards to law and religion than the rest of the Achaeans thanks to his time with Chiron. More than that, he actually cared about what he was taught and was considered kind of a stick-in-the-mud in terms of believing that the armies should follow the rules and customs of their people at all times and that violating their own laws was bad, even if you really, really wanted to bang a hot chick.

When Agamemnon decides to take Briseis, he is breaking a Rule. The common interpretation of what happens here is that he has violated Achilles' pride and honor in doing so, and Achilles loses his shit. That's valid. To me it read a little differently. I mean, for one, Achilles is 100% correct in the first book. Agamemnon pissed off the gods in a way he shouldn't have bringing plague on everyone, and how does he solve this? By agreeing to do the thing Achilles told him to do to solve it and then immediately violating their customs to steal from Achilles, bringing down a plague of "Achilles is not going to help you anymore."

Achilles cries to his mom that he wants the gods to fuck over the Greeks to prove Achilles right, which is deeply immature, but also really makes sense to me. Like, Agamemnon did this shitty, illegal, rules-breaking thing, and he needs to feel the consequences of that action. Achilles isn't a god who can bring down a plague, but his mommy is, so get fucked, Agamemnon. It's Zeus time.

During the time Achilles is out of the fighting, he is routinely called hard-hearted, stubborn, and other words to indicate he will not be swayed, which again speaks to his rigidity of understanding how things should be done.

The Way Achilles Talks About His Emotions. Achilles very clearly states what he is feeling throughout the book, and he often restates it. We get it, bro. You're mad. And then sad. Really, really sad. While this is almost definitely for the audience to understand his feelings and just how deep they run, Homer also could have just told us outright what he was thinking without having Achilles say it out loud repeatedly. It also felt to me that Achilles talks about his feelings far more often and bluntly than other characters do, but again this could be because the story revolves around his 'rage.'

Regardless, even if it was purely for audience benefit, this is a behavior I have noticed with my adult ND friends, which is basically after a childhood feeling confused by what other people around them are doing or why they are reacting to things in a certain way, they have a strategy of very bluntly expressing themselves and where they are at in this situation. It can be far easier than trying to follow the subtleties of NT culture and just get whatever issue it is out in the open. Saying to someone "I am angry at you" can come off as overly aggressive and blunt depending on context, but it cuts to the heart of the matter. We can compare this with Odysseus, who does not express any very deep emotions at all in the Iliad (other than the fact that Thersites should shut the fuck up, anyway), presumably because that's nobody else's business.

The Embassy. Achilles' point to Odysseus that this entire war was started over a man stealing a woman is so correct and so ignored. He looks at this situation and says: Paris stole Helen, and Agamemnon rallied all the Achaeans to come make war with Troy. Agamemnon steals Briseis, and I'm meant to... keep fighting for him? In what way does this make sense?

Everyone around him sees it from a completely different perspective, basically that Achilles got angry over a girl. To Achilles this is not what it is about at all. And I'm with him on this. If stealing a woman is a sin egregious enough for thousands of Greeks to spend 10 years attempting to sack a city, then it is the same amount of egregious for Agamemnon to take Briseis and he's lucky Achilles didn't kill him immediately and sack Argos. He's getting off easy, which Achilles tells him.

Reading Odysseus lay out his argument followed by Achilles cutting him down with that bit of logic was like, yeah, I'm with Achilles, I don't even think he's being stubborn I just think he's right.

In the embassy chapter, Achilles also has his famous line about despising men who say one thing but mean another. Being very truthful and having difficulty noticing lies is another common trait of autism, and it would make sense for Achilles to find the dishonesty of his colleagues deeply annoying.

Old British scholars called him a sociopath. This might seem like a weird one, but I'm adding it into evidence. When I read the Iliad, I see Achilles as a very emotional person. Given that half the book is about his grief over Patroclus, I find calling him incapable of caring about others incredibly bizarre. But in addition to determining that these scholars who wrote these batshit essays have never once in their life had a friend, much less a friend that they loved, this kind of fits with how a certain type of old-fashioned scholar understands autism. I've actually been at neuroscience talks with crusty old assholes who talk about how autistics and orphans are incapable of empathy, and then use evidence that really just says to me they express empathy in a different way. (Yes, orphans. For real. A real talk I went to in like 2015. Did you know that orphans don't have feelings and don't care about the feelings of others. /s) Add to the old British tradition of their feral private school kids (which I believe they call public school? idk those assholes in blazers, you know the ones) literally caning each other for being smaller, weaker, or just different, and this to me is solid evidence that Achilles is neurodivergent and unwittingly awoke the bloodlust in these old (dead) bastards.

Speech Patterns. Not being able to read Ancient Greek, I can't actually say much about this one, but multiple scholars have commented that the way Achilles speaks in the Iliad is different to all the others. He has a unique way of speaking. Again, this is not necessarily an autistic trait, but it is common for autistic people to have different speech patterns than NT people, so it's more just a "hmmm, maybe" than actual evidence.

I feel like I'm forgetting other little things, but I'd have to fully reread the Iliad with this in mind to jog my memory, and maybe one day I will. TLDR; Achilles has a very rigid way of thinking and an uncommon way of expressing his emotions.

And as always, autism is a spectrum. Anything I've written about here isn't necessarily true of any autistic person out in the world.

[fabien-euskadi]

2, 12, 13, 14, 16, 20, 23, 25

2- Coffee or tea?

I must confess I absolutely love both. However, I desperately need coffee (usually three of them) to function as a human being, while tea is just a matter of enjoyment. Sadly, depression has taken away the pleasure I felt while drinking any of them - now, coffee and tea no longer taste like anything (either good or bad), they are merely hot liquids I happen to ingest.

12- What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

That is a good question - a very good one, indeed. If depression manages to defeat me once and for all, I would rather be forgotten than remembered. If I manage to vanquish this horrible depression, then I would rather be remembered as someone who genuinely lived and wrote, someone who loved, someone who fell in love, someone who felt out of love.

And then you may ask: "don't you want to be remembered as someone who was also deeply loved?" Well, yes, but… perhaps that is a little too much, and, to be honest, being loved is not something that is truly in my hands, and so, I accept that the gods will not grant me that one (albeit I suspect that no god is powerful enough to make someone know me and genuinely love me).

13- If you could commit any crime without consequence, which crime would you commit? Or would you not commit any crime at all?

I would erase all humans from the face of Planet Earth, bar the good souls. However, one question remains: would that act (technically, the biggest genocide ever) turn me into a criminal or into God Almighty?

14- Would you rather know the date or cause of your death?

From where I am now, I honestly suspect that I will be the one to end my own life. So, I will know the answer to both when the time comes.

16- Are we really living or are we just slowly dying?

I don’t know about you, but, as we speak, I am just postponing my own ending. Although I admit that perspective can change if my luck also changes. Yet, does luck actually exist at all?

20- If there’s hell of some sort, do you think you’re going there?

If hell is more than a mere religious concept that implies an afterlife, then I suspect it would look like a small, picturesque farm on a valley in the middle of nowhere, for that is my definition of hell. Sadly, that is also the place where I am in this exact moment. Maybe, I won’t need to die to go to hell - I am already there (here) without even stop breathing.

23- Would you rather be burned at the stake but die a saint beloved by all, or die peacefully but have nobody remember you?

If I did not get everyone’s love in life, I don’t need to have it after I kick the bucket. And to be honest, I have already had my fair share of pain in life – for example, the last ten years were mostly consumed by a depression that, in the last couple of years, is only getting worse and worse.

Sometimes, I wake up and I feel I just wanted to die and be forgotten by all; other times, I wake up and I feel I just wanted to die, since everyone has already forgotten me.

25- What question would you ask the devil?

"Does love actually exist?"

The question would probably baffle the poor creature (I suspect he is not powerful enough to answer this one - neither him, nor his boss from Heaven), so, instead of reformulating my interrogation, I would replace with a completely different one:

"Can you suggest me any black metal bands?"

(I know the devil likes black metal - he MUST love it to pieces)

(thank you for all the questions 🤍 - I hope you are feeling good; and sorry for the morose tone of my replies, but these early days of autumn have not been easy at all)

[ariswul]

Hot girl summer skincare 🌺🌞

Hello girlies! I am back with another essay where I would like to share with you some information concerning solar protection, or, to be more precise, why using sunscreen is a must and how to purchase the correct sunscreen for you.

First, let us cover the basics: the most used solar products that almost every hot girl who's ready for summer has in her beach bag. Here we have:

I. Sunscreen. Used for protecting the skin from sun rays.

II. Bronzer. Used to enhance and assist tanning.

III. Aftersun. Used to calm the skin after prolonged sun exposure.

Before we get into detail about the cosmetics, let's cover the topic of the sun, and more specifically, solar radiation. Before using any sun-related products, it is essential for us to be informed about the source that is encouraging us to use these products.

How solar radiation works

The solar radiation that we perceive is formed by three types: infrared radiation, visible radiation, and invisible radiation, aka ultraviolet. There are two types of UV radiation: UVB and UVA.

UV radiation of any kind is very harmful for the skin. It is linked to premature aging and the formation of free radicals (which are bad-guy molecules that cause damage to body cells, often resulting in illnesses and diseases that can be deadly), and UV radiation also suppresses the immune system.

Both UVB and UVA radiation are not good for the skin, although UVB radiation provides some benefits, such as:

I. It is responsible for giving the skin a tanned appearance.

II. It allows the body to process vitamin D , with the sun being the main source of this vitamin.

III.The sun also activates metabolic and circulatory processes within the body.

Other than these benefits, UVB radiation provides a lot of harm in the form of:

I. Increased redness, swelling, and discomfort

II. Increases the risk for hyperqueratosis (excessive skin thickness and roughness)

III. Affects the immune system negatively

IV. Promotes chemical reactions between cells that ultimately lead to skin cancer.

UVA radiation, on the other hand, is responsible for pigmenting the skin but is also very dangerous because it starts allergic and toxic processes that affect the skin once in contact with the solar rays.

UVA radiation is the one that penetrates the skin the deepest.

_________________________________________

Solar radiation in general promotes skin cancer and affects the moles on the body. If you have any moles that particularly stand out or cause discomfort (such as a desire to itch the mole, a lack of hair near the mole, or bleeding), it is recommended that you visit a dermatologist, especially if the area where you live has intense solar radiation.

Moles might look pretty harmless, but any kind of change within the mole, such as shape changing or increasing in size by a mere 0.02 milimeters, is already a sign of potential danger that can be fatal.

Basically, get your moles checked, especially those that present a particularly dark color or a strange size. Apply a generous amount of sunscreen to your moles and get them checked. In fact, it is better to remove them, which is commonly done by a laser specialist.

Skin phototypes

( I will be referencing the image I attached)

Before we start talking about suncreen, we need to understand the concept of "phototype.". A "phototype" is a set of characteristics that your skin presents concerning color. This means that, depending on your personal phototype, you will need sunscreen with a specific SPF (Solar protection filter).

~

Phototype 1 skin is very, very light. (Look at the image reference.) This kind of phototype never tans and always burns. The SPF recommended for this skin type is 50 and above.

Phototype 2 skin can tan, but minimally. It tends to burn in most cases, if not almost always. This skin complexion is also quite fair, but not extremely fair like in phototype 1. The SPF recommended for this skin type is 50 or above, since it is still very sensitive to sunrays.

Phototype 3 skin can easily burn, but when it tans, it is very well balanced. Basically, there is a decent possibility for tanning, although burning can happen as well. The SPF recommended for this skin type is between 30 and 50.

Phototype 4 skin tans rather easily, so the skin doesn't tend to burn, although it can, but that would be more complicated for this skin type since it is naturally darker. The SPF recommended for this skin type is between 20 and 25, although you can go for 30 too.

Phototype 5 skin almost never burns, and it tans very quickly and evenly. People with this phototype have brown or dark brown skin. The SPF recommended for this skin type is the same as for Phototoype 4, between 20 and 25.

Photoype 6 skin never burns and easily tans. This phototype applies to black people. The SPF recommended for this skin type is minimal, between 8 and 10.

Having covered the six phototypes, I invite you to choose sunscreen based on your personal phototype.

Sunscreen. Your best friend from now on ☀️🧴

There are 5 types of SPF based on how much they protect the skin ( SPF stands for "solar protection filters"):

• Between 4 and 6, there is low protection.

• 8 is medium protection.

• Between 15 and 25, there is high protection.

• Between 30 and 50, there is very high protection.

• 50+ is ultra-protection.

Phototypes 1 and 2 need ultra-protection; phototypes 3 and 4 need very high protection, between 25 and 30; and phototypes 5 and 6 need low- to medium-protection.

It is important to choose good sunscreen products. You could buy sunscreen from your average supermarket, which would be a tolerable option if you were only planning to use it on the body since it does its function of protecting your skin, but if you want to protect your face, it is important to invest in a decent sunscreen. This is because the skin on our face is more specific, and there is a wide variety of skin types that require the use of special products (which is also why it is not recommended to use body sunscreen on your face since it has a high chance of clogging your pores).

For instance, when deciding on a sunscreen for your face, make sure it doesn't contain comedogenic substances (which promote pore clogging, a big no-no for oily skin and especially for people with acne); You can use an online calculator to find out how comedogenic a product is. Almost every product has 1-2 comedogenic components, but it is usually not that big of a deal as long as there are no more than 2 of them. You basically look up the product online and copy and paste the ingredients into the website. (I will leave a link at the end of this essay.)

It is recommended to use sunscreen on a daily basis, which is why you must invest in a sunscreen protector for your body and skin. Even on cloudy days, about 90% of solar radiation goes right through the clouds. And even if you're on the beach in the shade, know that sand reflects the sun's rays as well, as does water. To be safe, just wear sunscreen. #sunscreeenforever !!!😋☀️

Concerning bronzers, it is very important to know that bronzers do NOT replace sunscreen. They do not protect the skin whatsoever. Sunscreen is primary; bronzer is secondary and can help you achieve a more intense and regular tan.

Aftersun products are a must as well, especially if your skin has burned. The most common ingredient in Aftersun is aloe vera, due to its calming and refreshing properties. I keep mine in the fridge so that when I apply it, it feels cold and refreshing.

~

Links and useful tools:

~ Comedogenic calculator:

https://acneclinicnyc.com/pore-clogging-ingredients/

~ To find out how intense the solar radiation is today, you can look up "UV index + (area where you live)". It's a useful tool to know when the sun is at its peak, so you can protect your skin.

Thank you for reading! 🩷

[brandonxdylan]

Ranking the GAY EPISODES of Beverly Hills, 90210 - Part 1

Pride month may be coming to a close, but I didn’t want to let it slip by without doing a little something special. I thought it would be fun to do an overview of all of the gay-themed storylines from the series. There were quite a few of them over the years (although not as many as there were seasons of the show, which perhaps is saying something), especially considering for a show that didn’t have any significant queer content on a consistent basis, and certainly no gay regulars to speak of. These episodes run the gamut from throwaway fluff to pretty dark and heavy, and I’m going to rank them in terms of how effectively I think they handle the “gay” element (spoiler alert: not well), as well as how satisfying they are in terms of soapy drama.

I really tried to give these episodes a fair shake, knowing that it would be pointless to judge them for not delivering deeply nuanced takes in an era where we simply were not getting that on prime time network television. I feel like they still mostly fall short, but there’s enough good stuff in here to warrant some genuine consideration.

A couple of caveats before going forward. First of all, some of these episodes deal with some serious themes (AIDS, suicide, gay bashing), so consider yourself trigger warned. Secondly, this post is all in good fun, so lets not take it (or my hot takes) too seriously.

#8.) Crimes and Misdemeanours (Season 8, Episode 19)

Kicking things off, in dead last we have this dud from season 8, which has precisely one, single joke to offer, and still manages to screw it up. Steve runs into a woman at the Peach Pit, and while flirting with her, makes passing reference to Brandon, his “partner.” Obviously, he means business partner, but when she invites Steve and his “boyfriend” Brandon to lunch with she and her “girlfriend,” she clearly means it, and Steve somehow doesn’t think anything of it, and is all to happy to report to Brandon that he snagged them an awesome double date. At lunch, the two “couples” somehow get through the entire meal just beating around the bush, with the women (obviously lesbians by this point) clearly referring to Brandon and Steve as a couple, but these dummies of course don’t pick up on any of this out of sheer dimwittery and, I don’t know, super thick hetero-goggles or something. No, it’s not until Steve and Brandon are invited to the women’s apartment for dinner (which Steve expects to be an orgy, because of course he does) and they’re literally staring at the one bed shared by both women that either of them start to realize what’s really going on. Gay panic ensues, and the whole thing is played for laughs (not that there are any). I’m a sucker for these ridiculous sicomy setups involving misunderstandings and misplaced romantic interest, and this show can occasionally do them well (the luau episode from season 10 is a fabulous example of this, and also has some fun gay content - more on that later), but the problem is none of this is funny or surprising. Neither is it insensitive or exploitative. It’s just kind of stupid. The reveal can be seen coming a mile away, and the whole episode is just buildup to what I’ll generously call the punchline. A better show would’ve done a lot more with this, maybe playing with the concept of Steve seeing heterosexuality as the default, and being blind to other possibilities. Ideally, it also would have had more than one joke.

#7.) Comic Relief/Santa Knows (Season 8, Episodes 13-14)

David takes a job at a car wash, where he notices a bunch of his coworkers making very boring and unimaginative gay jokes about a young male employee named Ben who lives in the garage’s office due to the fact that his dad kicked him out for being gay. David confronts Ben’s parents in the hopes of getting them to see the error of their ways, but the interaction ends with Ben’s dad choosing to declare that “I don’t have a son,” rather than accept Ben for who he is. It’s really harsh, but in dad’s defense, David has very little tact, and it’s really none of his business considering he met Ben five minutes ago. In spite of this, Ben still holds out hope for a reconciliation. While his mom is somewhat more receptive than his dad, she still tells Ben that it’s for the best that he give his dad time to cool down. David once again intervenes, asking Ben’s mom - a woman who is very clearly deeply torn between her love for her son and her need to grant her husband the authority he commands - why she can’t just explain to her husband why taking Ben back in is the right thing to do, as if it’s just that easy. And that’s really the problem with this storyline. It deals with some really dark and emotionally complicated subject matter, and it’s just so glaringly obvious that telling this story from the perspective of a detached outsider is not the best way to approach it. Especially considering it’s David, whose track record for empathy and compassion is fucking zero. Give this to someone like Steve, which would allow him to experience some emotional growth alongside Ben’s parents, or Valerie, who has her own history of familial turmoil (though she does pop up later in this episode and isn’t much more helpful than David, so maybe scratch that one). All of this proves to be too much for Ben to take, and David discovers that he plans to slit his wrists. This is where Val gets involved, as she and David basically just berate Ben into not hurting himself, with Val insisting that she understands Ben’s particular struggles more than she actually does or possibly could. They both give him the “tough love” treatment which, hey, is maybe not what this kid whose parents openly hate him actually needs. Still, it all ends up somewhat happily because of course all Ben and his parents really needed was for someone from the gang to show up out of nowhere and yell at them a bit in order to figure their shit out. This is a story worth telling, but coming at it from the perspective of someone who has nothing to do with it doesn’t allow for much depth. And it really doesn’t satisfy as a soapy plot line either. Even that would require more of an investment from the viewer, and we simply don’t have time or reason to suddenly be all in on this character who comes out of nowhere for two episodes and then disappears forever. Ultimately, this story is just too bleak and depressing to be much fun, and too shallow to be emotionally satisfying.

#6.) Summer Storm (Season 2, Episode 3)

This isn’t ranked low because it’s a bad episode. On the contrary, it’s actually a pretty good episode from one of the show’s best seasons, and builds on one of the show’s most iconic storylines - namely, Brenda and Dylan. However, that doesn’t really concern us here. What does concern us is the B story, about how Kelly meets a cute volleyball player named Kyle. They flirt a bit and eventually go on a date, but when Kelly starts putting the moves on Kyle, he suggests they cool it. Spoiler alert, it’s because he (sort of) comes out as gay later in the episode. But even if he didn’t, Kelly’s reaction to this is really weird. She takes it oddly personally that he doesn’t want to get naked with her on the first date, and gives him the cold shoulder the next day. I haven’t watched these early seasons in several years now but I guess Kelly’s always been a pouty drama queen. Anyway, Kyle does eventually confide in Kelly, telling her that he’s tried to be into girls, and that he genuinely likes her, but that he knows they can’t be more than friends. It’s kind of cute, and Kyle’s conundrum is a pretty common one. Though it’s definitely possible to assume he doesn’t come out as fully gay because the show didn’t want to go too far, it’s also kind of nice to get a portrayal of a character in the process of figuring out his sexuality, without any clear resolution. That is how it works in real life sometimes after all. But considering this is such a minor storyline and the queer content is pretty tepid, it’s hard to rank this any higher than I have it.

#5.) Baby, You Can Drive My Car/Family Tree (Season 10, Episodes 8-9)

Dylan meets with a guy named Andrew, who is one of the directors of a local community centre for kids, in order to discuss making a hefty donation. Andrew makes passing reference to an ex-boyfriend, which prompts a discussion about how Andrew has to remain closeted among co-workers out of fear of losing his job. He knows that there are some bigots out there who would have some not-so-great feelings about a gay man working with their kids (that old chestnut), and his co-director is apparently one of them. Dylan tries to reason that “hey, it’s the 90s,” and that Andrew shouldn’t have to be closeted for those reasons. Andrew, of course, knows better, and while he agrees that no, he shouldn’t have to, the fact remains that he does. To demonstrate that at least he accepts Andrew for who he is, Dylan puts his arm around him in a playful (yet platonic way). Unfortunately, this happens in a dark parking lot and within the presence of a group of homophobes whom proceed to attack Dylan and Andrew with a baseball bat. While Dylan manages to wrestle the bat away from one of the guys (sure) and escapes with just a few bumps and bruises, Andrew doesn’t get off quite as easy. Dylan’s eager to spill details to the cops, but Andrew refuses, on the grounds that he not only doesn’t want to drag this whole unpleasant incident out any further, but he also doesn’t want to draw any more attention that might put him (and his job) at further risk. Andrew’s fears prove to be perfectly justified when, through circumstance, his co-director, Patsy, finds out anyway, and suggests Andrew take a (permanent) leave of absence. As is always the case with this show when there’s a Gay in trouble, a member of the gang makes it their problem to solve, and so Dylan confronts Patsy about Andrew being let go. Although Andrew specifically tells Dylan that he doesn’t want his help, fearing that pushing his luck with Patsy is just going to make things more public and humiliating, Dylan says that he can’t justify donating to a bigoted organization, and he threatens to pull his funding if Patsy doesn’t agree to hire Andrew back. She reluctantly relents, allowing Andrew to return to work, but she pulls her son from Andrew’s basketball team, and soon enough, more kids start to drop out for the same reasons. As things escalate, Andrew decides that if his presence is going to detract from the mission of the centre - to provide care and support for kids - then he should quit. However, Dylan swoops in with one more ace up his sleeve. He talks to Patsy’s son directly, and gets him to question whether he really is uncomfortable with Andrew, or if it’s just his mother’s influence that’s making him think that way. This works, and all of the kids who had previously dropped out assure Andrew that they not only want him there, but they need him there. All in all, this is a decent storyline, but it does engage with a few tropes that rub me the wrong way. First of all, it’s never not at least a little annoying to watch straight characters sanctimoniously decide that doing their version of “the right thing” is more important than respecting the wishes of the gay characters whose safety and livelihood is what’s actually at risk, and this storyline is a pretty egregious example of that. It also follows the usual 90210 pattern of having characters just badger others relentlessly until they conveniently get their way. Granted, this case gets a bit of a pass in that regard, because the tirade that Dylan fires at Patsy is kind of satisfying, and Luke Perry is a good enough actor to make it feel properly motivated and believable. We do love an ally king.

Watch for Part 2!

[wistereia]

question bout Wisteria cos i utterly ADORE her design, is there a practical use for those extra appendages/bladed wires she has?

YES!! Oh my god thank you SO much for asking!! I kind of am going to dump a lot of information about it below, but here's a quick diagram / explanation!

Essentially, they're used for another means of defense, think searing-hot built-in knives, or when inactive can be used to jack into terminals and the like to hack! Each tendril "end" has a connector concealed in it, and this ultimately allows her hands to be free at all times!

Okay here's the dump: Wisteria is first & foremost a netrunner, above all. She rarely uses guns or blades besides her cybernetics, so everything on her body HAS to be practical & either for extreme defense (I.E mantis blades) or for hacking. She is equipped with a Cyberdeck and can quickhack enemies, but even the best netrunners can run low on ram or get caught in an unsavory situation. This is the alternate solution, because as much as she ADORES her mantis blades, they really require her to be focused on no more than two (and barely) enemies at once.

The colored part of the blade, when activated, are burning hot when lit; without the digital "blades" not on, they feel like cold steel and cut like knives. Given a blade has been activated recently, they do need a small period to cool down before retreating to their inactive state or using that specific blade to hack a terminal.

To give fairness/limit the reach of these tendrils, they cannot imaginably reach more than her wingspan would be if she were to have a proper set of wings or much rather, the full height of Wisteria themselves (5'4" without heels). Not only that, but the tendril "body" themselves are NOT much better than, for example, the body of a whip. In rare circumstances, yes, you could use them to choke or detain someone, but there would need to be additional support of both arms to pull/tighten to that extent. Think more of a cat's tail rather than a powerful muscle!

Finally, this also poses a very challenging (and fun) design for me personally! Not only does it not make sense to have clothing that rests on her forearms, she almost always needs to have an opened-backed top or dress that accommodates her additional ligaments.

I originally had the idea to allow the tendrils to support her body weight (which would give her extra mobility) but realized it's reaching outside the "grounded in reality" limit I try and give myself. Although a cool concept, this being connected to her spine and the prior mention of it's similarity to a cat's tail, unfortunately feels like a reach. Although it did produce a fun concept sketch!

AGAIN!! Thank you so much for asking, it really made my day and I hope you enjoy this brain dump!! You're AWESOME!!

[molly0611]

Film Journal #6 - The 1970’s

Mazinger Z - Go Nagai (1972-1974)

(this will focus on episode 13, as I could not find a working english translation of episode 1)

Technique

Mazinger Z is an animated tv show created in the 1970’s. There is sadly little I could find on the specifics of how “Mazinger Z” was created, but given the information we have we can assume it was animated by hand. The art style most commonly related with anime is also present here. I am unsure exactly when it started - especially given the existence of manga - but given that post wwii Japanese animation was much closer to emulating the styles of American animation, it can be assumed that by this point the styles were already set in place. “Mazinger Z” also began life as a manga, originally running from 1972-1974 as well, with the tv show beginning just 2 months after the manga’s release. The dub of the original show I was able to access is interesting to say the very, very least. The dub, directly commissioned from Toei (the studio behind the tv show) was very clearly created by a team with little experience, likely due to either the single studio not having much reference, or the general idea of animations being newer to the idea of translating shows like this. I am unsure on the specifics of this and would love to look into it more but, unfortunately there is not the time to do so here so I will leave it at the overall facts that television series as well as the mecha genre in general were very new, and so those may have been contributing factors.

Representation

As with any good tv show or Shakespearean play, Mazinger Z episode 13 features both a main and sub plot. Within the main plot, Baron Ashura (a half-man, half-woman in the very literal sense that they have a face split in half by traditionally masculine and feminine traits, and have two separate voice actors in the same regards) activates a mechanical beast with the ability to shoot flames hot enough to melt rocks, camouflage itself as a snowball, and throw swords (an ability we do not see until much later). The ball then rampages through the town until it is spotted by some morally ambiguous side characters as well as Sakaya Yumi, the pilot of the robot “Aphrodite A” - another mech similar to Mazinger Z but with more feminine features. During this discovery, the main character Koji Kabuto finds himself trapped inside his house by a large group of Baron Ashura’s “Iron masked men” (as they are referred to by Koji). He dispatches them quickly and flies his “Pilder” (a small, helicopter-like vehicle) into the operating seat of his robot, Mazinger Z. from there he begins helping Sakaya in her fight with the evil robot, as she has already used both of her (for lack of any sort of better terminology I could possibly use in a blog post I am being graded on for school) boob rockets. Once Mazinger Z enters the fight, Aphrodite A functionally disappears and the day is saved after a quick physical exchange. The side plot is nothing much past a snow sculpture contest where an exact simulacrum of the judge in snow is awarded first place.

Reception

Mazinger Z was wildly influential at the time and its effects continue even to this day. Much to the dismay of its creator, who would have much preferred his work on “Devilman” to get more recognition than what was effectively a long running joke. If Mazinger Z did not create the mecha genre, it did at the very least make changes to it (namely the concept of a person being inside the robot instead of controlling it from the outside, among others).  Although it is very fair to say that works such as “Astroboy” and “Tetusjin 28-go” are for all intents and purposes more important than Mazinger Z, especially given the former two also inspired the latter, on the account that the entire genre focusing around people in giant robots fighting each other is visibly connected to this show definitely gives it notoriety. In addition to its influence, Mazinger Z is also interesting to talk about in regards to gender. Directly from the start of the show, the second character we are ever introduced to (and the first who is ever given a name) is Baron Ashura, the conjoined body of two mummified, forbidden lovers who was resurrected by Dr. Hell, the main antagonist of the series. Ashura, from what I can tell over a very short view of around one and a half episodes, is generally treated fairly well by the show. While they certainly fall into the trope of having evil characters be generally non-conforming in some way, they seem to be treated more or less the same as everyone else. Sakaya Yumi however, is a much different read. There is enough information to suggest that her inclusion as a pilot of a mech was more or less a step forwards however, save that point there is not much in favour of her as a character. Her opening scene includes a joke is made about her body, and while again she is given command over a mech, it is still heavily weighted down by both its naming convention being of the Greek Goddess of love, and the fact that seemingly it's only weapons are large missiles that make up the boob part of the mech’s feminine design. This it should be noted is not in any way meant to insinuate that the inclusion of Aphrodite A is in itself the problem, but instead that in addition to only impounding the way which the character of Sakaya Yumi is portrayed, it is also an otherwise very non-sexual show which only makes it more clear the intent and biases behind her character.

Sources

I was not able to read all of this one for this given time restraints but it looks interesting and is related enough that I’m adding in here

[zerogate]

As early as 50 C.E., the theologian Philo cautioned against a literal interpretation of the Garden of Eden, writing, “To think that it here meant that God planted vines, or olive trees, or apple trees, or pomegranates, and any trees of such kinds, is mere incurable folly.”

The fourth-century Christian thinker St. Ephraem, in his Hymns on Paradise, similarly cautioned that, “It is with the eye of the mind that I saw paradise...” But theologians who argued for a symbolic reading of “the divine garden” remained a distinct minority. St. Augustine registered the conflicting points of view. “Some interpret [Paradise] in an exclusively corporeal sense,” he wrote. Others give it “an exclusively spiritual meaning,” and still others take it in both senses, “sometimes corporeally and at other times spiritually...” St. Augustine personally favored the literal reading, and shaped the convictions of later generations of Christian theologians who maintained that the earthly paradise had not disappeared, but had only become inaccessible as a result of mankind’s fall from grace.

Centuries later, in 1617, John Salkeld synthesized prevailing views on the reality of the Garden of Eden in his work A Treatise on Paradise and the Principle Contents Thereof. Relying on theological authorities such as St. Augustine, Salkeld set out to prove that the earthly paradise was “a real and corporeal place” and not merely metaphysical. Catholic dogma at the time supported the same literalist point of view, insisting that descriptions of Paradise were “not allegory but history.”John Calvin, the sixteenth-century Protestant reformer, similarly declared that the Garden of Eden was “situated on the Earth, not as some dream in the air.”

In the fifth century St. Augustine admitted that, “It is probable that man has no idea where Paradise was.” Medieval geographers located the lost garden everywhere from the North Pole to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, although the prevailing Church view held that the earthly paradise lay “in the east,” in the regions of the Tigris and Euphrates rivers or in the farthest reaches of Asia, at a great height so as to have been unaffected by the waters of the flood. Like Yangsang, the terrestrial paradise was described as a place of eternal spring, neither hot nor cold and filled with fruit-bearing trees and healing waters. Early in the eighth century, St. John Damascene wrote that Eden “was temperate in climate and bright with the softest and purest of air. It was luxurient with ever-blooming plants, filled with fragrances, flooded with light, and surpassing all conception of sensible fairness and beauty.”

[...]

The belief in a geographical paradise persisted widely until the end of the seventeenth century when the Church conveniently declared that the Garden had been erased from the surface of the planet by the Great Flood. The question then remained not where Paradise lay, but what it meant. Although the expulsion from Paradise is the core western myth, the notion of the fall was a later accretion.

At the end of the second century, Christian writings by St. Theophilas of Antioch and St. Irenaeus reveal an understanding of the story of Genesis prior to the invention of original sin. According to these erudite bishops, Eden was “a means of advancement” for “maturing and becoming perfect.” The eating of the fruit of knowledge did not condemn humankind to suffering, but the act of disobedience ultimately furthered its maturity and capacity to perfect itself. Eden was thus not so much a perfect place, but a place where being could be perfected. Mankind’s departure from the enclosing walls of Paradise and its bucolic luxuries led the first couple to become all that they could be. As the philosopher Immanuel Kant wrote in 1785, it was a necessary transition from an unreflective, animal state to one of full humanity. Freedom, he suggested, begins when the nostalgia for a perfect place ends and one embraces the present moment. 

Nonetheless, Paradise persisted as a perennial dream and an incentive to geographical discovery. The religious dissidents who abandoned a repressive Europe for North America discovered what seemed a blessed land, where history could begin anew. They described New England as being “like the Garden of Eden, a new Eden.” In a more literal sense, when Columbus sailed close to the isthmus of the Orinoco in South America, he believed he had discovered one of the four rivers that issue from Eden. As he wrote to Queen Isabella of Spain during his third expedition, “I believe that the earthly paradise lies here.. which no man can enter except by God’s leave.”

The belief in Eden, the widespread conviction of an impending apocalypse, and the desire for gold and fortune led to voyages of discovery in which explorers saw in the lands that opened before them the shape of a lost paradise. Following Columbus, Amerigo Vespucci (1499-1502) surveyed the coast of Surinam and Brazil and wrote that: “If the earthy paradise exists anywhere on earth, I think it must not be very far from this area.”

Yet as D. H. Lawrence recognized, to believe in Paradise was to consign oneself to Purgatory, to be forever seeking something beyond the horizon, beyond life itself. “Why pin ourselves down on a paradisal ideal?” he wrote in 1953. “It is only ourselves we torture... Love is never a fulfillment. Life is never a thing of continuous bliss. There is no paradise. Fight and laugh and feel bitter and feel bliss.”

--  Ian Baker, The Heart of the World 

[variousqueerthings]

It's a movie. You'd like that one too. Everybody dies.

Empress of Mars, let's goooo! I've actually taken notes for this one too, although I did have to watch it over four sittings, due to limited time, so now it's kind of a puzzle of vignettes in my head. very short serial length

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 10/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 4/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 7/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 7/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 4/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 9/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 10/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 8/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 5/10

FULL RATING: 74/100 (if I can count….)

I think I like this one. I'm always a bit wary about stories in Doctor Who that are about British colonists, and I'd say this one doesn't quite hit the mark on justifying that point of view in this one either, but otherwise there's a fair bit to enjoy. It's solid. dependable. Ice Queen hot. that sort of thing

the pacing is a bit wack, but otherwise...

OBJECTIFICATION: Bill has a great look in this one generally. I mean, she's dressed like the Doctor, so they're both killing it, and then she's also pulled her hair back, it's great, sleek, pro scifi lookin stuff -- also considering this is a very dude-heavy episode, they eschew (this appears to be my favourite word of the day) any creepy leering of the kind I remember all too well from some other stories that featured men from this era (looking at you dinosaurs on a fucking spaceship)

I'd even give it bonus points for its Ice Queen design, which, generally I think DW has been pretty good at making men and women alien designs relatively equal (nothing like like sexy cyberwoman of Torchwood), and in this case I was having a bit of the swoons at the Ice Queen's predator-like dreads and wonderful armour!

PLOT-POINT: Bill isn't really explored in this one. she's present alongside her ideals, although I do think this is one of the ways it's a bit of a flaw to make the other characters Victorian soldiers -- they're the sanitised version of what this might look like, up to and including a black man in the unit who's just some guy along with the rest of them, which is really more about politics than anything else, but the point is it feels kind of strange to have her in this place in a way I think for example thin ice, which was able to be an episode that had black people in it, while still acknowledging that black people walk through the world differently due to racism

which, considering how heavily this episode focused on "empire as concept" in various parts, feels a bit like an oversight to not have Bill at least have more opinions about

I did like her having some Moments with the Ice Queen, mainly because the way Pearl Mackie played it made me think Bill was also kind of attracted to her (alien fucker Bill seems right to me), but I wish they'd amounted to a little more than the lip-service of "men amirite?" because yeah, Victorian-age soldier dudes probably would have been insufferable to deal with on average (#notallvictoria- *gets sniped*) and Bill potentially having to navigate around that in order to find common ground with the Ice Queen idk... coulda been cool as potential

it all comes back to the choice of making this a bit about Queen And Country which is what I'm not so into, and other things fold into that

COMPLEXITY: it's relatively simple once you get past the "Victorians on Mars" part, which is standard DW fare. I do think some of the plot was paced a bit oddly, but that could have been my fractured watching schedule. it just seemed to go quite slowly up until finding the Ice Queen and then very fast to the conclusion

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: the Master is now freeee!!!!!! and the Ice Warriors are more back in nu!who DW lore than previously (they have been in nu!who before, but this feels a little more like the Silurians, a bit more settled AND it ties into stuff they wrote for the third Doctor)

(I know Waters Of Mars was a Very Particular Kind Of Episode, but I always wonder if that's just... lurking underneath there...)

it's on the whole not super overarching plot-driven, which is fine. the Master is in two scenes and she kills both times, honestly Michelle Gomez takes my breath away

COMPANIONS MATTER: Bill, as mentioned, has some heeey Ice Queen moments, and I like how well she and the Doctor work together and how she's able to take lead. I am in a headspace with Bill where I wonder how willing she is to die or whether she thinks she will die. in the last episode she really did think she would, so what does that say for where she is now when she says she's willing to act as a distraction -- it all ends up fine, but I'll probably come back to this thought once we've seen the last episode

also liked that she was savvy enough to guess that the atmosphere was breathable. it's just little things like that which feel like a companion is involve in the story and not just tagging along and waiting for the Doctor to do something impressive

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: yeah, the Doctor is more aware of how to deal with the Ice Warriors, but on the whole is as much taken along for the ride as everyone else, and he's not the one who saves the day either

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: ALPHA CENTAURI!!! I heard the voice and was like "I KNOW THAT VOICE NOW!" (classic!who watch upgrade!) and of course the Ice Warriors! I think this episode ties into the curse of Peladon which is wonderfully involved as callbacks go and honestly I think one could continue along that strand if one wanted to

I cannot remember how I felt about this episode when I didn't have all this context, but it definitely heightens its enjoyment upon watching it this time

“SEXINESS”: none of that nonsense here. the Master has some fantastic moments in her brief appearance of this and it's so delightfully serious, which is a neat turnaround for her depiction of the Master and continues on from last episode

INTERNAL WORLD: Once the Victorians on space is accepted (yep, accepted) they're on Mars, simple-as. Not overcomplicated as is often the case

POLITICS: Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo why Victorians? Why soldiers? (soldiers because of the Ice Warriors connection, which, I note they did in Cold War too, because nobody's allowed to meet Ice Warriors that's just some guy I guess)

it feels like it was under-thought/under-baked as a whole, which leads to a certain lacunae related to these white guys running around trying to colonise Mars for the queen as set dressing for the episode, with their one token Black Victorian soldier guy who's the same as the rest and dies a very gruesome death, which is meant to be the point of Making The Audience Connect To The Poor Victorian Soldiers because he has a sweetheart yousee, he's quite lovely, but it all comes off a biiiit like they didn't think through the Connotations of what they were doing. things like tokenism and colour blind casting and generally the sort of complaints that have been had about Martha's season as well in relation to the historical episodes

and while there is some mention of the Victorians as colonisers, it's a bit haphazard, because in the end it's mostly just this one guy who's bad and the other one who pledges himself to a new queen

it's not the worst of politics on this show by a long mile, but I think nu!who has had a bit of an issue related to British history and romanticising British empire and monarchy (queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth 1st and 10th, Churchill, that guy in dinos on a spaceship, to some extent nightmare in silver and smile)

(not to mention classism and underlying empiristic concepts in things like girl in the fireplace and some of the underlying problems of human nature/family of blood, which while honest about WWI struggles with balancing its depiction of British boarding school's violence against boys with what Martha faces especially, some of my personal qualms with writing UNIT, and the president of the world stuff)

there's more or less of this depending on the series and s10 is better for it mostly (including in the very next episode) but it did mean this episode came out of left-field by making these choices and then not doing anything substantial with them

FULL RATING: 74/100 (if I can count….)

she's quite highly rated this one, and I think it partially comes down to Ice Queen hot and partially the way it ties into some very old lore making a reappearance

I quite like this one, it's a simple solid concept. if it weren't for those Victorians and the pacing being a bit off... but yeah, I had a good time

[ihaveatypeanditstrickstergods]

Having more thoughts about Kore's retainers. They're still pretty loose, but I wanna set them down here anyway.

Ramblings below cut

She hired them both during the events of Heavensward

Cosette (Elezen, eventual Black Mage) was first, not long after Kore had gotten settled in Ishgard.

She'd had something she needed or wanted to do that involved going to Ul'Dah, was saying something about how she couldn't do it because showing her face in Ul'Dah was probably a bad idea, and Emmanellain or somebody was like "why don't you just send somebody to do it?"

Kore was like "YOU CAN DO THAT?"

Either Emmanellain, Artoriel, or both went with Kore to the Jeweled Crozier to introduce her to the wonderful world of retainers.

Cosette came highly recommended from a very respectable Ishgardian agency (I've got some vague ideas on her backstory, but nothing nailed down yet). Kore was definitely intimidated by her (and the whole concept) at first, but they eventually formed a sort of professional friendship (although that took a while; Cosette's a pretty formal person).

Valinari (Viera, eventual Botanist) got hired later on, and less officially, shortly after the whole Ul'Dah plotline was resolved.

I haven't nailed down all the details here either, but I do know that Valinari was in hot water with something that ultimately traced back to some shit that Lolorito owned (which, to be fair, is a significant chunk of Ul'Dah), Kore stumbled upon him in the middle of it, and she effectively hired him on the spot both to protect him and as a small middle finger to Lolorito.

I have this great line in my head where someone's trying to get her to turn Valinari in and she's just like "My retainer would no more do this thing you're accusing him of than your boss would poison the sultana." Which, like. Technically true.

The level to which Kore expects Valinari to actually do his job is not super high; she's a pretty chill boss in general. He still gets shit done, but at his own pace.

Also, Valinari and Cosette hate each other, but it's in that, like, office sitcom way where they snipe at each other all the time but will still bail the other out if there ends up being an issue.

[chloelefay]

(using personal for this instead of main (@chloearit))

let's go!

3 SHIPS / FIRST EVER SHIP: despite being aromantic (or maybe because of it?) I actually ship quite a lot of characters, though most of my ships are canon or at least pretty obvious, probably my most out there ship is shipping two minor characters from completely different continuities of ninjago: Tox from the show and General Olivia from the movie. it's very silly but they're everything to me. I also ship Lloyd and Morro from Ninjago and I ship all five madomagi girls as a polycule.

LAST SONG: let's check! it's... FAUX by Cryoshell! they're mainly known for their origins as a band started by lego employees to make original music for bionicle, but they've actually made a fair amount of other music since, this song being one of those.

LAST MOVIE: Killers of the Flower Moon! it's very good. one of my friends worked on it. (although apparently his name didn't make it into the credits which kinda sucks.) you should watch it. ideally in the theatre. it is very long, but it's not exhausting, you can just sit back with some snacks and watch it unfold. do make sure you go to the bathroom before though and don't drink too much before or during it.

CURRENTLY READING: nothing. I have a hard time reading long-form.

CURRENTLY WATCHING: halfway through both Loki season 2 and Petit Eva. Loki is very good, better than I expected, and Petit Eva is very weird.

CURRENTLY CONSUMING: I'm always drinking orange tea (dried orange bits steeped in water, does not actually contain any tea leaves, apparently the concept that you can steep things other than tea leaves in water confuses some people.) and earlier I had a hot chocolate and a fried egg sandwich and took the wrong meds...

CURRENTLY CRAVING: some lemon cookies would be nice...

let's find some people to tag who haven't been tagged already...

@verdant-lobotany @lexical-lushes @notavampyre9 @waywarddoll @su-ryusei @the-stardust-shard @derf2324 @dlljs @bonapaga

Tag 9 people to get to know better

from @the-world-annealing

3 ships / First ever ship: it's extremely tumblr that this is the first question.

the weird Alucard/Seras/Integra polycule in Hellsing left a permanent impact on me, i think. the loyalty of a weapon, a hound, to its handler.

reimu/yukari as depicted in "Teeth and Claws"

augmented human c4-621/catching a fucking break for once in its life

Last song: Rusted Pride from the AC6 soundtrack. i was talking with @yashkonu about certain AC6 things last night and i just had to listen to it.

Last movie: uhh, probably Across the Spider-Verse? i'm not much of a movie person.

Currently reading: i haven't been reading as much as i'd "like" to, but I really need to finish the Machineries of Empire trilogy by reading Revenant Gun.

Currently watching: re-watching Yuri is My Job! with a friend, and watching 16bit Sensation: Another Layer, the Arknights anime, and

Currently consuming: just had some grape juice :)

Currently craving: really sour really caffeinated energy drinks. shouldn't have one though because if i have both energy drinks and my adhd medication i have an extremely bad time

normally i don't tag forward but i'm trying to be a little more social. no pressure if you don't wanna ofc.

let's say... @yashkonu @such-sweet-entropy @kaiasky @phaeton-flier @twilight-sparkle-irl @abalidoth @oathboundfamiliar @self-loving-vampire @thimbledoll

[yelenabelovasbxtch]

Hi! I love your fics so much!! Can I please request no. 36 with flo? Maybe flo and reader are acting in a movie tgt and r has a fight scene where she's beating up the bad guys and Flo's watching behind the scenes

Behind The Scenes

a/n: I love this idea! I hope you enjoy!

#36: "Is it weird that was a total turn-on?"

Word Count: 1069

Concept: R is starring in Black Widow 2 and has a secret relationship with Florence. Lots of fluff and cute stuff. Also, Hailee being absolutely adorable and excited for the two of them.

Warnings: none? Not proofread.

Taglist: @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @wandanatvoid @3xbyrn320 @thorya22 @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @wandanatvoid @ailenepuff @amcg0615

About 7 months ago you were cast in the second Black Widow movie starring Florence Pugh and Hailee Steinfeld. Being somewhat new into the acting field this finally felt like your big break and you already broke one of the rules of filming. You had fallen head over heels for one of your co-stars. Look, to be fair, you had already been in love with Florence before filming started but when you got cast in the film you finally got to meet her and what once was a crush through TV and phone screens on someone who didn’t even know you existed quickly turned into crushing on someone you now consider one of your best friends. You just started filming for the movie about 2 months ago but since you were cast, you had multiple table readings with some of the other stars and also connected with Flo quite a bit over social media. Although she had never met you at that point she hyped you up whenever you posted something and messaged you what seemed like daily. Eventually, you guys got together to hang out and it was the most natural thing ever. You ended up seeing Flo at least three times a week, you’d go out eating, you would play video games, watch movies, etc. One night she invited you over and the two of you decided to do a wine and cheese night where you both got dressed up super fancy to just stay at home, drink, eat and watch TV. The two of you got a little too drunk this time and some things slipped out of Florence’s mouth that she maybe wasn’t ready to share with you. Next thing you know you’re waking up the next morning naked in bed with your best friend. To your surprise, Florence meant every last word of her confession of love. She wasn’t just drunk and speaking out of her ass she genuinely had feelings for you and now that things were more out in the open the two of you could see where things go with one another. While this was an amazing experience for the two of you, you both decided it would still be a good idea to keep things under wraps and not tell anyone just yet. Especially because you were about to start filming on Black Widow 2. With you two being some of the worst liars to exist you managed to make it multiple months without a slip up. However, being two openly bi actresses working on a movie together who spend a LOT of time with each other, of course there was going to be speculation.

“Hey babes.” You whispered in Florence’s ear as you passed her by sitting behind one of the cameras.

She just turned her head quickly and looked you up and down as a smirk came across her face. You looked hot. Especially hot in the costume they had you wearing. For her, it was serving Iron Man 2 Natasha Romanoff vibes and she was 100% into it.

You had a fight scene coming up, just you against a bunch of people. It was sort of like your “badass” entrance into the MCU.

You had been working hard with your fighting choreographer on this scene and you were super pumped that your girlfriend finally got to see it.

Florence was sitting next to Hailee as the two of them watched you absolutely kick-ass and after a few takes, you landed everything perfectly, absolutely seamless.

Hailee tells Flo she is going to go get some water for you as you finish up the last few shots for this scene.

As the director calls cut, everyone clears out as they’re all taking a 20-minute break. You walk over to your girlfriend looking absolutely adorable in the Black Widow set hoodie with her hair up in a messy bun.

“So…what did you think?” You say with a grin as it takes literally every fibre of your being to not pull her in for a hug and a kiss.

“You were absolutely brilliant y/n!”

“Yeah? Do you really think so? I mean, I know nothing compares to the classic Yelena Belova action sequences…” You say in a teasing tone.

Florence scoffs and blushes at your comment.

“Seriously though love, you were amazing. When you wrapped your arm around the one guy to then throw your body around him so your thighs were at neck level… a classic Black Widow move.”

“That one I am particularly proud of…and I feel honoured that I got the chance to do it.”

“I mean seriously though? Don’t tell Scarlett I said this but I think you did it better than her…like is it weird that was a total turn-on?”

“I’m sorry a what–?” You hear someone say from your side.

The two of you immediately snap your heads up and look over to see Hailee standing there with three bottles of water and her jaw on the ground after what she heard Florence say. Both of your eyes were wide and neither of you had a clue how to respond you just looked at each other then back at Hailee.

“I KNEW IT!” She screams with excitement. “I knew something was going on between you guys!”

“Shhhh we are trying to keep it on the down-low.” You say with a chuckle.

“Uhhhh…y/n…I think it’s too late for that.” Florence says as she points behind you and almost the entire crew has returned from their break. They all look at you guys with awkward smiles.

“Oops…well just so you know I’m OVER THE MOON happy for you guys!” She says linking her arms around your and Florence’s necks. “My best friends are dating! How sick is that!” Hailee says to the random cinematographer walking by you.

You and Florence just chuckle at how happy Hailee is to finally know the truth.

“Well…I guess it’s time to tell the world how much I love you.” She says looking at you with the warmest of smiles.

“I guess so…Oh and! I guess now I can do this anytime…” You say as you pull her in for a kiss.

As the two of you pull away you look over at Hailee and just see her with her mouth open in the biggest smile out of pure excitement for the two of you.

“THIS IS AWESOME.” She says.

– The End –

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

Funniest things I can imagine happening in a theoretical Assassin's Creed/Star Wars crossover (namely the protagonists and a few key supporting characters from the AC games show up in the Clone Wars era):

All the Grandmasters/Mentors sitting around and debating the theological differences between the Jedi Code and the Assassin's Creed. Yoda and Ezio keep making lewd jokes, and Mace and Achilles instantly bond over having to put up with them.

The first time a Jedi performs a Mind Trick in front of an Assassin, there's a knife fight in the streets that results in at least 3 stab wound and 1 near case of delimbification until the Clones are able to calm everyone down. Afterwards the Jedi make an effort to not perform Mind Tricks in front of the Assassins.

This is nothing, however, to how absolutely ballistic every single Assassin, even even-tempered ones like Ah Tabai, get when they learn about the inhibitor chips. Within hours, the Kenways, including Adéwalé, have hijacked at least ten Star Destroyers and are organising mass brain surgeries the likes of which no-one has ever seen before.

Altaïr Ibn La'Ahad and Malik Al-Sayf take one look at Anakin Skywalker and immediately realise that he's basically exactly like Altaïr at the beginning of AC1 and move immediately to stop this train wreck.

To that end, Anakin is forced to go on missions with Ratonhnhaké:ton, despite the fact that they are just enough alike to not like one another, although as Altaïr and Obi-Wan planned they do end up bonding over their extremely similar early lives and Connor helps Anakin learn his own compromise.

A key part of their bonding, however, comes when the Assassins convince the Jedi to let them dismantle the Hutts and replace them, given its not the first criminal empire they've supplanted. The liberation of Tattooine is also when they actually come to blows, though, because Anakin is not shy about his opinions of the Tuskens and Ratonhnhaké:ton is... familiar with the demonisation of an indigenous population, and does not take kindly to it.

Kassandra has absolutely no idea why she's here, as far as she's concerned both the Jedi and the Assassins are a band of crazies, she's not even like Bayek (who's going through some shit because he doesn't know how to explain to every Assassin born pre-Altaïr that he cut his finger off by accident), so naturally the first chance she gets she books it off Coruscant, possibly with Eivor in tow, to become a bounty hunter, which is about as close as this place gets to a misthios. Naturally, because the universe is determined that neither Kassandra nor Eivor can have a boring life, Eivor gets headhunted by Hondo Ohnaka and Kassandra falls in with Asajj Ventress, and yes you can read that last one any way you like.

Pretty much all the Assassins born before it are absolutely fascinated by the concept of democracy. Then they attend one (1) Senate meeting, and their opinion on the concept dims a bit. Padmé Amidala, then, can be praised for nearly singlehandedly reinvigorating several Assassins opinion on democracy in one conversation.

That being said, there are only a few senators that most Assassins can stand, and some of the more hot-blooded Assassins may be planning coup d'etats on several planets and keeping very quiet about it when the Jedi are around. For obvious reasons, they all get along very well with Cham Syndulla, and Evie Frye is halfway through convincing the Mentors to induct his daughter Hera as the first new member of the Brotherhood in this galaxy.

Without the Dark Side blocking their Eagle Vision, or the decades of experience with his friendly persona, most of the Assassins pretty quickly figure out that Palpatine is at the least involved in the conspiracy behind the Clone Wars (to be fair, all of them are pretty experienced with finding out who's involved in grand conspiracies). The issue then becomes proving it. Their first plan involves walking up to Palpatine in the halls of the Senate and saying 'Oy, Sith Lord, yes or no'. This predictably fails, and Jacob Frye is taken off the planning team for this case.

[ptergwen]

I think your requests are open (I didn’t see anything that said otherwise but I suck at this app lol) but I was wondering if you could write a peter x reader (likely college-age) where they have an academic rivalry and just tease each other a lot and lots of fluff and shit? It can be an established relationship or like a friends/rivals to lovers or really whatever you want. Sorry if this is super specific! Anyways, I love your writing, it always cheers me up :)

friends close, enemies closer

ik this is cherry BUT i had to

w/c: 1.6k

warnings: swearing and hints of suggestiveness

a/n: thank you my love ! i’m actually obsessed with this concept so i’m super super happy with how it came out n i hope you are too :,)

-

you wipe sweat from your upper lip, peeking at peter’s laptop screen. he’s more than halfway through the paper your english professor tasked your class to write. he looks to have not a worry in the world as he continues to type away. growling at this, you dive right back into work.

you’ve been at each other’s throats since the beginning of classes when you both wanted the same spot. first row, middle seat. peter had officially claimed it in the end. you’d flopped down next to him and his irritating smirk.

the dude is smart, you’ll give him that. his knowledge of literature is almost as impressive as yours. almost. he raises his hand any chance he gets, effectively stealing your thunder if you dare to participate.

peter is also a bit of a people pleaser. he’ll chat up your professor at office hours, fascinate her with his hot takes on things or stupid anecdotes. you often get so annoyed that you bail before you even attempt to woo her yourself. the sight of you storming off is something peter thoroughly enjoys.

bottom line is, golden boy peter parker never loses. underneath the sweet, innocent persona he hides behind is a ruthless fighter. you’re determined to end his winning streak, thus sparking your ongoing competition to be better than the other in every way possible.

this time, your goal is to meet your ten page paper requirements the fastest. they aren’t due for weeks, but you and peter are banging them out in one sitting.

you’re hauled up in the campus library, sat side by side despite your wishes for peter to get his own table. he’d insisted on sharing with you. why, you haven’t a clue. you can’t stand him, and he isn’t the fondest of you either.

that’s what you tell yourselves, at least.

“progress report?” peter requests from you. “page three. you?” you grunt back. he props his feet up on the table, arms flexed behind his head. “finishing up page seven. you already knew that, though... creeper.”

god, you can hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.

you glance over at peter, doing your best to ignore how his biceps bulge under his hoodie. nerdy little parker is ripped.

“worry about yours, i’ll worry about mine. thanks.” you reread the sentence you wrote prior to peter’s chiseled body distracting you. “oh, the irony,” he sighs and nudges the edge of your laptop with his sneaker. scowling, you shift the screen away from him.

about a minute of silence goes by until it’s unfortunately filled by peter. he stretches his arms out, finally removing his dirty shoes from the table.

“i’m gonna take five. maybe, you could use it as an opportunity to catch up to me,” peter cockily suggests. “spare me your charity, peter. i’m doing just fine without it,” you retort, letting out a scoff. peter raises his hands in defense. “if you say so, princess.”

here you were, naively thinking peter couldn’t become any more insufferable than he already is.

you slam your laptop shut and jab a finger at his chest. “jesus christ, how many times do i have to ask you not to call me that?” a patronizing pout adorns peter’s lips. “aw, i love it when you get all bossy on me. so cute.”

he grabs your hand still on his chest, pressing a light kiss to the back of it. you’re quick to wipe it off on his hoodie. nevertheless, there’s an undeniable heat rushing to your cheeks.

“well, i hate it when you call me princess,” you deadpan. peter tilts his head to the side. “do you?”

of course not. deep down, you live for the fuzzy feeling you get whenever the nickname slips from his tongue. oh, his tongue and the things it can do. poking out as he focuses hard on a question, running across his pink lips…

you have to reel it in. this is peter parker you’re fantasizing about, your mortal enemy.

“yes. i hate it, and i hate you,” you unsuccessfully convince the both of you. “no, you don’t,” peter rasps, darkened eyes scanning over your features. his stare is intense and intimidating. he grasps your chin between his thumb and index finger, slowly leaning in closer.

he’s not going to stop until you make him. you don’t want to, but you will.

you shove his shoulder, dragging your laptop towards you again. “on second thought, i could use that catch up. you’re not gonna throw me off my game, parker.”

your rejection seems to disappoint peter. his expression matches that of a kicked puppy, brows furrowed and arms crossed over his chest.

“we’ll see,” he murmurs and swings a leg over his chair. “alright, i’m gonna run to the caf. you want anything?”

he’s offering to buy you food now? what’s his angle here?

“i’d say yes, but i’m afraid you’ll poison it somehow,” you half joke. peter hops to his feet. “don’t give me any ideas,” he warns, snatching his backpack off the floor. “i’ll just surprise you.”

although you’re curious what his mystery snack choice for you would be, you can’t accept. you’d be going against your entire dynamic.

would that be so terrible?

absolutely.

you wave him off towards the double doors. “i’m good, peter. really. i’m not that hungry, anyway.” shaking his head, peter throws a backpack strap onto one shoulder. “y/n, your stomach’s been grumbling for the last hour. you gotta eat.”

he’s not wrong. you’re starving, but you’ve been too preoccupied by your essay to break for dinner.

“fine, surprise me,” you concede. peter flashes you a smile, this one void of its usual condescendence. “i’ll be back. try not to miss me too much,” he calls as he walks backwards to the library doors. “i won’t. shoo already,” you dismiss him, a laugh falling from your lips.

peter winks at you, then disappears into the night. you’re left with a serious case of butterflies and a certain freckle faced know-it-all on your mind.

that’s a problem.

you’ve managed to get another page done when peter reappears. he sits back down and slides a bag across the table, you closing your laptop. you dig into it to figure out what he picked for you. you’re not too pleased with his selection, however.

“oh, yummy. vomit in a cup,” you announce as you hold a green smoothie in your hand. peter reaches over and pats your thigh. “it’s good for you. drink up, princess.” you slap him away. “hard pass. i’d rather you have gotten me nothing.”

narrowing his eyes, peter pulls two cookies wrapped in a napkin from his pocket. “i’m guessing you don’t want these either? more for me, then.”

they’re chocolate chip and m&m, your favorite in the cafeteria. they just came out of the oven, so they’re still warm.

“how… how did you know i…” you trail off, peter setting the cookies in front of you. he offers you a lopsided grin. “i know a lot about you, believe it or not. i pay attention.” you surprise yourself by returning his smile. “thank you, peter. how much do i owe you?”

“nah, it’s on me,” peter assures you. “enjoy.” pushing aside your unappealing drink, you seize the cookies instead. “you have to eat, too. let me at least split these with you.” there’s a beat before peter nods. “fair enough.”

that results in you two munching on your cookies while pretending to write your papers. you’re sneaking glances at each other whenever the other isn’t looking, in reality.

once it’s about time for the library to close, you’re on the verge of passing out. peter is concluding his essay until he hears a thump from your side of the table.

he finds you with your cheek smushed against your keyboard and hitting random letters, snores escaping you.

chuckling to himself, peter places a hand on your shoulder. “hey, y/n?” he speaks in a hushed tone. you awake with a gasp, drool pooling at the corners of your mouth. “easy there, princess. it’s only me.” he rubs circles on your back, and it’s oddly comforting.

“keep doing that,” you purr, momentarily forgetting how much you’re supposed to despise peter. he lets his fingers dance across the exposed skin of your lower back. “we should probably head out. it’s kinda late,” peter decides.

you sit up, bones aching and eyes forced open. “not yet. have to beat you first.” you start to delete the gibberish you accidentally typed. peter cups your cheek to turn your head towards him, your movements halting. “this one’s a tie. you did good, y/n/n,” he coos. “finish the rest another day.”

“why’re you being so nice to me?” you nearly whisper. peter uses his thumb to swipe the drool from your lips. “‘cuz i care about you. i might not show it, but i do,” he admits with the hint of a smile. “besides, i need you… for the, uh, the healthy competition.”

laughing softly, you twist his hoodie strings around your fingers and tug. “your intentions are pure as always. sure that’s all you need me for?” peter’s gaze darts to your lips, then your eyes. “we’ll see,” he repeats.

rivalry be damned.

“mm. i care about you too, parker. thanks again for tonight,” you hum. a blush coats peter’s cheeks, even in the dim library lighting. his sweet and innocent side might truly exist. “no problem.” peter links your pinkie with his, the gesture giving you that fuzzy feeling. “i’ll walk you back to your dorm?”

you lean over and kiss his pinkie intertwined in yours.

“lead the way.”

[recurring-polynya]

I remember you making a post about Momo's theoretical sickass lava bankai - what if she achieved it in the middle of the ryouka invasion clusterfuck?

Oh, the old Momo’s bankai post? The same post where I said that getting bankai was not necessarily a sign of being a good person or a moral person and it certainly wasn’t a sign of being a mentally healthy person? That it was really just a sign of being driven to single-minded extremes? That post?

I was outside gardening when I got the notification for this ask, and I failed my critical reading check on the second part of it, and somehow got “Fake Karakura Town clusterfuck” instead of “ryouka invastion clusterfuck” and by the time I read it more carefully, I was already too in love with the idea that I had come up with, but I know what you like and I think you will like this.

Did Polynya stay between 500 and 1000 words?: 1668 

| ao3 | ff.net |

🔥      🔥      🔥

“Captain Aizen?” asked Gin. “Is everything all right?”

Aizen narrowed his eyes. “Something is coming through.”

Like nearly all of Yamamoto’s techniques, Joukaku Enjou was a manifestation of elemental fire magic. Elemental magic was difficult to control for anyone who didn’t specialize in it; countering it relied on tapping into the underlying kidou that controlled the spell. Joukaku Enjou didn’t have any underlying magical control structures, though, it was simply a giant sphere of horrifically hot flames that burned until it got tired of burning. Yamamoto himself could even be killed and it would continue on.

So, when Aizen felt a strange presence making its way through the bulwark of flames, he assumed it was the doing of the Captain-Commander himself. Aizen knew an illusion when he saw one, and this was definitely something physical. It was a cold spot within the fire-- not actually cold, mind you, just less hot, and yet it seemed to be traversing the barrier with only minor difficulty, the way one might wade through thigh-deep water. It had its own reiatsu--heavily muffled by the smothering magical static of Ryuujin Jakka, but familiar enough.

Tousen’s hand drifted to his sword hilt, Gin rocked on his heels. Perhaps they were trying to signal their readiness, their allegiance to him, but it honestly just came off as cowardice. To be fair, sometimes cowardice was a good thing to see in a subordinate.

“Attempting some sort of high-concept appeal is new for Yamamoto,” Aizen sighed boredly. “Hopefully it will at least be amusing in its feebleness.”

But when the small figure, the crude form of a woman shaped from molten rock, emerged into the clearing, as the flames wreathing its form fizzled down to glowing coals, it became clear that this was not some sort of construct, not some sort of simulacrum designed to elicit sympathies for a woman Aizen had never seen as anything more than an amusing plaything.

“Kill her,” Aizen demanded.

Gin was faster, of course, but Tousen was hardly far behind.

“Oh,” said the lava thing in the voice of Hinamori Momo, as she looked down to see her midsection skewered from two directions. “Well, that’s convenient. I was wondering how I was going to get you to touch me with your sword, Captain Tousen.”

And then, faster than he would have expected, streams of magma erupted from her, engulfing both zanpakutou, curling in great waves around his subordinates and cooling nearly instantaneously into rock.

“You didn’t even go to shikai, though,” Momo sighed, because it was Momo, but a Momo extrapolated to some impossible endstate, a Momo who had somehow found her own power, despite the years Aizen had spent chipping away at the foundations of her psyche. “I had to go to all the trouble of talking to Captain Zaraki to find out how he beat you, and I didn’t even need to! I wasn’t expecting such close conditions, although I suppose I shouldn’t complain about something that went so heavily to my advantage.”

Aizen’s eyes darted from Tousen to Gin and back again, as the rock consumed their faces, leaving only their eyes and noses exposed.

“I should kill you both, for what you’ve done to Captain Aizen,” Hinamori tried to growl, sounding no more threatening than a nursery school teacher. “But I’m not like you. You’ll just have to face justice back in Soul Society.”

Aizen’s mind worked frantically. This was unexpected, but not insurmountable. Momo had…was this her bankai? It had to be, her reiatsu was far beyond what he ever dreamed she was capable of. Fortunately, her brain capacity seemed to be at its usual dismal levels.

“Lieutenant Hinamori!” he gasped. “Oh, you’ve come for me! I knew that no one would believe--”

“I’m sorry if you’re talking to me right now, Captain,” Hinamori interrupted. “Or if I’m talking too loud. I’ve sabotaged all my sensory organs, you see. I know you aren’t yourself right now, and I couldn’t run the risk of you using Kyouka Suigetsu on me. I don’t know if Total Hypnosis extends into the infrared, but I am betting that my perception in that realm exceeds your ability to convincingly manipulate it.”

Aizen grabbed for his sword, when scorching heat blossomed in his chest at the base of his sternum.

“Oh, wonderful, it did work!” Momo exclaimed.

“Bakudo 81! Dankuu!” Aizen wheezed out, the translucent ward snapping into place in front of him.

“Sorry, Captain! Dankuu works by creating a thin vacuum field which disrupts the casting line of most kidou spells. But you see, my power is radiative in nature, it works just fine through a vacuum.”

“Hrnnngh,” Aizen managed as he doubled over in pain, scrabbling at the skin of his mid-section. He was dimly aware of Momo moving toward him with the graceful and yet entirely unnatural locomotion of a bunraku puppet. “I can heat any sort of rock up to and over its melting point,” Momo explained, although Aizen was hardly in the mood to pay attention. “I knew the Hougyoku was crystalline in structure, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to affect it.”

“No…” Aizen grunted. “A simple being like you would never be able to destroy it.”

Momo laughed, a pretty, silvery sound. “Oh, Captain Aizen, even though I can’t hear you, I bet I can guess what you just said! ‘An ordinary person, even in bankai, couldn’t destroy the Hougyoku.’ I can see your surprise through your changes in body temperature, you know. I can see how impressed you are with me right now, but I can’t help it, I just have to ruin the magic and tell you my clever little trick! I’m not going to destroy the Hougyoku, I’m just trying to get it out of you so you can think clearly again. You’re right, of course, it wouldn’t let me do this if I intended to destroy it, but it doesn’t mind being burned out of a host. You had planned to burn it out Ms. Kuchiki with the Soukyoku. Renji told me so. It’s bad, Captain, can’t you see? It makes you do horrible things! I’m sure that killing the Central 46 was Captain Ichimaru’s doing, but you tried to kill Miss Kuchiki. You tried to kill Renji, too, and that poor ryouka boy. I forgive you for trying to kill me, because that’s how I knew you were being controlled. My captain would never hurt me. And that’s how I was able to dig down deep into myself and find my bankai. I mean…Renji got bankai. I can do anything Renji can do. At first they were watching me very closely, but you were the one who taught me to tell when I’m being observed, how to be so boring that your watchers lose interest in you. I’ll tell you all about it later, when this is all over.”

She crouched next to him, heat pouring off of her, the sharp smell of hot metal filling his nose.

“I’ve been trying to forgive you for pretending to be dead and scaring me, but that’s been a little harder. I’m sure I’ll be able to eventually, although…well an apology couldn’t hurt.”

The pain was blinding, overwhelming. His vision was beginning to blacken around the edges. Even if he could bring to mind any kidou that could defend against this, there was no way he could cast it in this state. Desperately, he reached out to the Hougyoku itself. I know you have begun to awake! he begged. I am the one who will bring you the greatest glory! You must come to my aid!

The Hougoku remained silent.

“Don’t worry, Captain! I’ve thought all of this out! By heating the Hougyoku directly it will burn away the minimum amount of your flesh necessary to loosen itself. I promise I will heal you up promptly as soon as it’s free!”

Things went a bit black after that, and when he came to again, there was something hard and heavy covering the lower part of his face, and he couldn’t move his hands or feet.

Momo was leaning over him. For the first time, he was able to get a good look at her. Her face was off-putting, too stiff, too constructed, like a Noh mask. Maybe he hadn’t noticed before, or maybe she had just grown them, but a trio of prongs protruded from her head, likes horns or, perhaps a crown. Two more sprouted from each shoulder. Seven, of course, a seven-branched sword. Her body was mostly black, with shifting veins of violet and ruby beneath her gently drifting tectonic plates. Maybe it had been reflections from Yamamoto’s flames earlier, but he had sworn that she had been more…reddish orange…before…

“Oh, good, you’re awake now!” She sighed. “I’m sorry Captain, but I wasn’t able to plan for everything. I thought that if I held myself to a high enough internal temperature, I could make an internal pocket of atomized air that could safely hold the Hougyoku. You know. Without it trying to merge with me.”

Aizen tried to grab at his chest, at the place where the Hougyoku had nestled inside him, a star, gently dreaming. But he couldn’t move his arms. A finger of rock held his tongue to the floor of his mouth, cuffs of it bound the kidou vents in his wrists, pins of it stabbed the pressure points in his back that paralyzed his soul chain.

“I think it will be okay, though,” Momo went on, whether to reassure him or herself was unclear. “The Hougyoku seems very happy. I don’t have a heart in this form, so it has nothing to compete with. It says it’s going to grant my greatest wish. But my greatest wish, Captain Aizen, is just for you to come home again, safe and sound and for everyone to understand that none of this was your fault! So don’t you worry about anything, Captain. I’ll take care of it all.”