#although to be fair both are hot concepts

[alcoholfreenayeon]

Could you do a Twice HC with their kinks? ~

Nayeon

Nayeon is fairly kinky. She’s more or less open minded about trying out things.

She’s also a bit of an exhibitionist. She’s the eldest of the group, the members especially the younger ones look up to her and respect her. Yet the thought of them watching or walking in while she’s doing the deed with her partner just seems to her turn on. It makes her feel really naughty.

Praise and Degradation kink. Whether you treat her with love and tenderness, praising her actions and responses or if you treat her roughly, letting her know just how much of a slut she is for you and only you it doesn’t matter. This girl will feel extremely turned on in both scenarios. Moreover, she also is really vocal towards you and will also often praise or degrade you depending on the situation or what you like.

She likes role playing, teacher-student, any concept with royalty and even other ideas such as boss-employee. Although the sexual tension between her and her partner often disappears as Nayeon ends up laughing in the middle of acting it out.

While it’s fairly common to perceive Nayeon as a switch or even a sub, she can be unexpectedly commanding at times. It’s not unusual for her partner hoping for some sexy time to end up being ordered to eat her out till she passes out.

Jeongyeon

Saying Jeongyeon is vanilla would just be wrong. Is she the kinkiest person in twice? Well, no….but in fairness to her she is facing quite a lot of competition and the standard is fairly high so while it may seem that she’s much more tame than some of her fellow members, you’d be quite surprised by what this girl is capable of.

While she is quite open minded her kinks don’t really go in any extreme direction. Like a jack of all trades, she’s fine with most things and catches on fairly quickly but has no interests that are extreme or niche.

Her favorite scenario while role playing is of a Police officer catching someone for speeding. She generally likes to be the officer but also doesn’t mind being the offender.

Although she’s definitely the dominant one especially in the bedroom, she’s more of a soft top, happy to let the her partner’s interests and kinks take priority.

Momo

Momo will give you the whole deal, she’s hot. She’s confident. She’s also quite kinky. And she knows it. In fact, she’ll give you a list of exactly what she wants to do to you or you to her if it means she gets to have her desires fulfilled and experience euphoria.

Choking is something she’s really into, when she’s on top don’t be surprised if you end up feeling her hands around your neck while sensually whispering something that will send chill down your spine because whatever she said, you want it. You need it. Simply because she knows you and your kinks just as well as you hers.

Momo is really into lingeries, she’ll often end up surprising you with different ones either of you like. She also likes it if you dress up into something she finds sexy as well. Although you hesitate with it since she more often than not ends up ripping off your clothes despite your complaints. She then points out that you never seem to have a problem with it in the moment to which you have no reply.

Occasionally she is up for some BDSM but due to her busy schedule it’s not a common occurrence mainly down to her preference of BDSM being something that requires a good amount of time and effort which she cannot afford frequently.

Sana

Sana is the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Everyone wants her. Everyone desires her. But no one really knows who she actually is. You see, Sana knows how desired she is and she absolutely loves it. She thrives off it. But she’ll never let you know that.

She’ll lure you in slowly, make you think or rather believe that the her kinks are very similar to yours and the two of you are extremely compatible. And perhaps that is true to an extent. After all, she is very open minded.

However her true kink isn’t anything that she’d lead you to believe, her real kink in having power. Power over you specifically. She’ll lure you in and keep you enchanted without you ever realizing it.

Now all that really matters for you is Sana and she’s so happy that you love her so much.

Jihyo

Jihyo in bed has a similar demeanor to her on stage, confident, excited, and in command. This girl has been leading by example for the longest time and is the same in the bedroom. She’ll leave you on the floor, gasping and panting helplessly while seeing stars, feeling utterly exhausted and used. Yet, to Jihyo that’s just another day.

Like a good leader(or mommy), she doesn’t hesitate towards your wants and needs. Unsurprisingly it frequently involves playing with her boobs, which she is more than happy to oblige with since secretly she has a breast play kink and loves it when asked to play with them. She’d never admit it of course.

Jihyo also has a breeding kink, which her partner eventually understands why after seeing her during sex when she is in a feral and primal state. While her partner might get worried at times, she always reassures them that it’s fine or teases them that she is ready to be a parent.

Occasionally she yields and let’s her partner take the lead if they wish. But beware, she won’t let you rest until she feels satisfied when she subs and failing to live up to her expectations will result in her taking charge again and using you til she feels sated and could also possibly be much more rough than usual.

Mina

Mina is really into all the aspects of BDSM. Whether it is being tied up or tying up her partner. Being dominated or dominating her partner. Being sadistic or masochist she is up for it all. The dual aspect of her in bed is quite reflective of whether she is feeling more Mina or Sharon.

She is into erotic asphyxiation, basically choking. She likes doing it to her partner especially when she’s on top. Hearing them whimper and breathless really turns her on. She also is very demanding and cold when she’s being dominant, expecting every word of what she orders her partner to be obeyed

When she’s the bottom, she likes being spanked but generally goes along with what her partner wants.

Mina prefers sex to be rough and intense. Being lost in the moment turns her on. She often daydreams after naughty things she could do to her partner. She’s excellent in giving after care and never seems to be tired after sex.

Dahyun

The charismatic, cheerful and the oldest amongst the maknae. Little do you know, she wants to be degraded mercilessly.

While you dominate this girl, she’ll want you to make full use of her flexible body. She also has a daddy kink.

Dahyun is also into getting her hair pulled. This pair’s extremely well with her other kinks like being degraded.

Dahyun while generally is a sub, she prefers to be dominant when role playing. She does her part surprisingly well as the dominant one and results in you teasing her with how serious she becomes while role playing

Chaeyoung

Chaeyoung is, much to her partner’s surprise a power bottom. While she may seem all flustered, Chaeyoung actually planned for it to be that way. She’ll leave hickey marks all over her partner. Despite her calm demeanor, she becomes really possessive during sex and wants 100% of her partner’s attention.

Even though she has an excellent sense of fashion, Chaeyoung prefers her partner to be the one who dresses up. She loves the effort that’s been put up for her.

She is into wax play and does it really well. Inspite of her partner’s obvious nervousness, Chaeyoung manages to make it an extremely sensual and satisfying experience.

Orgasm control is something that Chaeyoung frequently does. Hearing you plead and beg for release really pushes her buttons.

Tzuyu

Tzuyu is a sub at first but eventually becomes more of a switch with her partner. She has a huge praise kink. Given her naturally cautious and somewhat shy personality it makes sense. Being praised during intimacy makes her feel closer with her partner and makes it easier for her to open up to them.

Although Tzuyu would rather she died before anyone other than her partner found out, she is into a bit of exhibitionism. She thinks it sets a good change of pace. The first time it happened she ended up blushing uncontrollably and backing out cause she got too nervous.

She likes to dress up for her partner and is open to role play. She endlessly teased you when you wanted Tzuyu to roleplay as a character from a show you liked.

Every now and then Tzuyu shows you her dominant side and takes complete control, doing all the work. You’d NEVER admit it but hearing Tzuyu speak such a commanding tone makes you feel somewhat weak.

[rivetgoth]

About to watch Videodrome for the first time ever at my local independent movie theater. I've somehow managed to avoid learning anything about the movie so I'm going in completely blind, and am so excited. I've loved everything by Cronenberg I've seen so far and look forward to finally learning what Videodrome is about.

I really appreciate your views and perspectives when it comes to art and would love to hear your thoughts on the movie once I've actually seen it if that's something you're down for

Omg first of all enjoy the movie!! Secondly thank you for this ask, I’m really honored you’d ask and be curious to hear my thoughts on something 🥺🖤

Overall I’d say I think Videodrome is a really gorgeous movie. It’s got such iconic visuals that are so entrenched in this now-very-nostalgic 80s aesthetic and it’s also just very sexy and erotic which I love. Debbie Harry is soooooooo hot in it and while I’m not attracted to James Woods himself I think him as Max Renn and Nicki Brand are a very sexy duo. I also just, like, deeply admire and respect Cronenberg’s uncompromising vision as an artist.

That said, I’ll admit (maybe sacrilege to say!) that as an actual film Videodrome has never deeply resonated with me on like, a personal level. I’ve seen it a couple times (2 or 3?) and each time I’m left with the sentiment that it’s very well done, gorgeous on the eyes, and not something that I was able to particularly sink my teeth into as much as I’d have liked!! Even now when I try to recall the story beats off the top of my head I struggle to remember exactly what happens haha. It feels a bit scattered to me and I struggle to connect to the main topics as they’re presented, and while I’m sure I could if I really tried, I also find myself just interested in other themes in other films and have more of a desire to focus my attention elsewhere. 😅

I think the thing for me with Videodrome is that for better and for worse it is so explicitly and directly about a single form of technology in a single moment in history—Thee Television. This is understandable, as an early 80s film by a man born in the early 40s. This was thee dawn of the age of The Television as mass-owned, commercially produced product, fully acclimated to a permanent spot in our homes. I think in that regard the way it explores the concept of The Television and its relationship to humanity, the human psyche, human sexuality and the body, is so so so fascinating. However, it also hinders, for me, my ability to connect as much, because I just don’t find as much fascination with The Television as Cronenberg!

As a man born in the late 90s, I find myself way more drawn to science fiction that engages with Thee Computer, and that’s purely because that was the vice I grew up with, the strange new technology that was taking society by storm, that served as both extra parent and window into all of the horrors humanity has to offer lol. Cronenberg’s own eXistenZ, not coincidentally also a child of the late 90s, is much more thematically resonant to me (although unfortunately Jude Law and Jennifer Jason Leigh don’t have nearly as much charisma or chemistry as James Woods and Debbie Harry) in the way it uses transcendental philosophy to explore the potentiality and implications of the advent of digital worlds/space, or even, for non-Cronenberg examples, something like the anime Serial Experiments Lain (1998) or Jane Schoenbrun’s We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (2021), both media dealing with things like the way The Computer can warp one’s sense of self and identity, even one’s reality, and the way one interacts with others and the world around them (not entirely unlike Videodrome does re: The Television). And when I think about media that really heavily features The Television that I have connected to deeply, like Skinamarink (2022) or I Saw The TV Glow (2024), both are pretty strongly about the nostalgia (negative for the former, positive for the latter) of growing up with television, rather than interest in The Television as an entity of its own, imo, which once again I think speaks to generational difference and just difference in life experience and subsequent interests.

That said, does a movie need to be “resonant” to be great? Of course not. As it stands I think Videodrome is a fantastic work of art and I totally get the appeal. I think in particular, I was talking to Angel about it (who LOVES Cronenberg and has wonderful insights on his work that I don’t tbqh) and I really liked the way she discussed the way that Cronenberg appears to ask in Videodrome how similar or different the human body is to The Television: If one can send signals to a TV or insert a VHS in order to feed it information and give it commands, can the same be done to a person? I find that sentiment really cool and interesting. And I do love the ending and the questions it leaves about what’s real and fake in a post-television world. I guess I just also have never had a moment where the movie fully clicks into place for me—Personally, I think that Crimes of the Future (2022) is probably his best work. :)

[rosieuv]

A random post on Street Fighter 6 because I recently found out about it's existence and I think it's cool

Disclaimer: I've never actually played SF6, or any of the Street Fighter games (I played SF2 in an arcade once and got my ass beaten by the AI) so don't come at me if these games are actually crap to play, alright?

I never really thought of the Street Fighter series until I saw this video by Kiro Talks on video game character redesigns and he brought up Ryu and Cammy's redesigns in Street Fighter 6. I remember thinking that the redesigns were very cool and one day while waiting for the bus, I looked up Cammy on Google and looked through the gallery on her wiki page (I find it interesting looking at characters' galleries as it's full of cool artworks and stuff) and I guess that triggered something in the YouTube algorhithm because slowly but surely, I started getting Street Fighter related videos appearing. I think the first one was this one on every Chun-Li victory pose (I also looked at her gallery out of curiosity because she was like the only other female character I knew from SF at the time) and it made me question why there's so many damn games. To be fair, all the crossovers were included too but it really opened my eyes on just how big this franchise was. Although I think the catalyst was this video comparing the intro, idle and outro animations of all the SF6 characters that appear in V and IV. I watched that a few times as comparisons are cool and the models and animations in those games look cool and then I started finding videos on other character animations, character select screens, music, scrapped characters/concept art (to be fair, I did search up some of these) and now I'm here.

Alright let's get this section out of the way:

Hot women!

That's something Street Fighter does very well, especially with the redesigns in the 6th one. Personally I think Juri is the coolest one in the cast, not just in design but her personality. I actually bothered to read a little of her wiki page which is how I found out she likes fighting people for fun, because her voicelines that I saw in those videos intrigued me on her personality.

Her SF6 design is my favourite with the hair covering the eye thing and the lose tracksuit bottoms with the belts. Plus the blue highlights really make her overall colour scheme pop. She has this "chill but would not hesitate to smack you into a pancake" vibe which makes her very intimidating. Like the way she just sits on top of the loser's body when she wins and starts scrolling on Instagram to post an update like "hey look at this loser I just beat to a pulp!" I think makes her stand out from the ones who take this very seriously to ones who don't seem too phased that they're about to beat someone to black and blue.

I don't know much on the SF lore but I'm pretty sure 6 takes place quite a bit after the other entries and you can tell based on the designs of the returning characters that they've aged which I think is a pretty neat thing.

Here's some highlights on cool character designs:

I find it really cool how SF1 Ryu still has the sleeves not ripped like in 2 and overall clearly hasn't had many fights yet. Meanwhile SF6 Ryu has a fricking sash to show his legend status and it looks so badass. Mate even got shoes after like 30 years.

It's either ripped sleeves or footwear, one or the other.

Kinda already talked about Juri but I wanted to mention her previous designs. Her SFIV version looks like a lamer version of her SF6 version with the revealing crop top and the chunky tracksuit bottoms that have a gap for the upper thighs but the gap is too small so it kinda just looks like part of her trousers are missing. Her fringe in both of them are too short. She looks much better with the longer fringe and the more curly devil horns hair. I like her SFV design as it gives biker vibes but they got rid of the latex in her SF6 classic costume and it just doesn't look as good.

Out of context, this looks like some kind of fetish render.

Like idk but it doesn't look like a stylistic choice here, it more looks like the 3D modeller wanted to show off their breast sculpting skills by making it seem like she didn't notice her zip fell down. Plus it doesn't make the leggings look like part of a big bodysuit rather than 2 separate garments and the latex top was just better. They gave this game better lighting: why would they remove the material that makes her bust go all shiny?

Elena before SF6 looks like she remembered to put on all her jewelery but forgot her clothes, and Elena in SF6 looks like she forgot where she placed all her old jewellery but found this sick ass scarf and trousers and so she doesn't care. Would fighting with a scarf be practical? Couldn't your opponent use that to drag you around and strange you? She wears big earrings too, wouldn't they get caught on stuff? Y'know if you were ever a girl in PE class, the teacher would tell some story of a girl who got her ear ripped off cause it got caught in a football net or something. Couldn't something similar happen here considering she likes to dance and overall is very active?

I can't pinpoint why but Luke looks like he plays Fifa. Like look at his outro pose:

Does this not look like someone who spends money on the newest entry every year? I swear I'm not crazy, this has to be canon or something. Shirt is cool though. I like how it does the pointy thing in unison with the jacket.

Okay I'm kinda cheating here 'cause Sakura hasn't been added...yet. I have a strong feeling she'll be added in an update. I thought Sakura was cool like "oh so she's like a cosplaying a school girl, that's her thing" but no, she is a school girl...at least before SFV. To be fair, the localisation of her intro lines are a bit clunky so I thought she was trying to imitate anime girls or something. The concept of a newer character having one of the older characters (in this case, Ryu) as an idol is a really cool concept but now that I know she's like 15 in most of her appearances...did they really have to add the fanservice? I mean, this is Japan, they do stuff like this all the time but idk doesn't sit right with me. Converse shoes are cool though. If she's a high schooler in 4, uni student in 5 then she would be in her late 20s in SF6. That would be cool to see, like a business woman Sakura or super cool fighter Sakura with elements of her sailor fuku incorporated.

Mai looks like she forgot to put on half of her outfit. From what I've gathered, her whole thing is that she uses her body as like some kind of distraction device, I'm not sure on that one though so don't quote me on it but I feel like something's missing from her dress. It feels...incomplete. I think incorporating transparent black material would make the dress feel more complete and sexier. Here's a drawing to show what I mean:

Got rid of her tail thing to make it easier to see.

Rest of her design is pretty though. She really suits red. I think her alternate outfit looks nicer though even though it loses that "sexy japanese kimono" look.

Looking through the wiki to find that image, I found her sprites for when she was a Fatal Fury character and wow, you can really tell the hardware increase with each game because her breasts get more and more bouncy. Does she not use boob tape? She's gonna be moving around a lot, wouldn't that be really distracting and uncomfortable to have em jiggling around the place?

M. Bison is the bad guy and can levitate and that's all I really know. I think he's supposed to be defeated in SF6 which would explain his whole "mysterious" design with the cloak and the bandages. I don't know anything on the lore but he's obviously lost that power he had in the other games. I mean, look at his idle animation in SFV: that is a man you don't want to mess with.

Makes me wonder what happened to him as he's gone from this menacing dictator with one hell of a smile, to a mystery guy with his mystery hood and lack of a shirt. His vibe is cool though, might nick it for a future OC.

Chun-Li aged so gracefully it's actually impressive. Like she looks old enough to have to worry about mortgages and yet she still hits the gym because holy hell her legs are thick. I swear, so they get thicker in every game or something? Either way it makes a lot of sense as she uses her legs a lot to attack.

I imagine the animators had fun with this one...

I've seen my fair share of fan service anime over the years thanks to the wonders of the internet making it inescapable, but I think Street Fighter does these kinds of outfits very well, like how the leotard is high waisted because it connects to the sash. Yeah the outfits are revealing but at least they're being creative with it by adding style. Speaking of which...

Cammy!

Yeah her redesign is much better. From what I've gathered from the voicelines I've seen in videos, she's like this serious military woman from England and I feel the military vibes in the original but I love how her redesign makes her look like she's just out of the gym and is ready to kick your ass. The union jack jacket is badass and I wish it was real. Not to mention I imagine this would be much comfier to actually fight in. With the high waisted leotard, sure you have freedom of movement in the legs but 1 false move and that leotard is going against your dignity. It doesn't look that bad on sprites and the cartoony 3D models but the official artworks and her classic costume in SF6 brings me second hand anxiety because god damn that must be uncomfy. Especially in that SF2 artwork I put above: it's tight enough to cling on like latex which if you've ever worn a swimsuit that's too small for you, yeah I have no idea how she could do all sorts of jumps and crazy attacks wearing something like that. Not to mention the camel-toeing something like that would realistically do but then again this is the game where you can shoot energy balls at others so I don't think they're going for realism.

I think the leotard look would work better if it went to a bit above the hips like a regular sports swimsuit, but was like a different colour and/or material to have better coverage, and could still follow that shape at the back so the losers in the comment sections can be happy. Something like this I think:

Imagine the dark green is like transparent but has better coverage if you get what I mean.

Her redesign feels so British and I can't explain why. Like if I saw her at a Tesco wanting to use the checkout I was just about to go to, I would let her go no question I'm don't wanna find out what those gloves feel like. I think it's the crop top and leggings: it gives her this overall vibe of like a badass version of your average 30s-50s Brit. Also it highlights her abs.

That's something I find neat about Street Fighter: the women are buff too. Like anime and western animation/comics likes to make the women slim to look pretty but SF makes it clear just from design that they can beat you ass. Even the slimmer characters, Like Sakura, still have some kind of muscle definition. I find it refreshing even though a lot of them fall under the "abs and really thick legs" category. Hey at least they know their audience. Marisa looks like she can break every bone in your body just by breathing on you.

In fact, the new women in SF6 are quite diverse when it comes to body types. It's neat cause where the muscles are shows what kind of fighting style they have. Such as Lily, who's the shortest out of all the SF6 characters I'm pretty sure and I haven't seen her fight but I assume a lot of it is based on agility and how her stick things are used. (I can't add any more images :') ). Yeah almost all, if not all, the female characters have fanservice in their design one way or another (having the upper thighs visible seems to be the most common method I think) but literally all the guys are really fucking buff. Like unnaturally buff to the point where I think to reach that in real life, you would need steroids or some kind of drug cause not even bodybuilders are as buff as Zangief. Not to mention, quite a few of the guys don't even wear shirts (or have shirts but are styled in a way to show off their abs, like Ryu's low tied shirt) and I know because fighting games are traditionally seen as masculine this is probably to make them look cooler but I would not be surprised if there was a gay or two in that character designing room cause without fail, all the guy characters have abs, even Honda which doesn't make sense considering he's a sumo wrestler so he would be fat not buff and fat. Then again there's like 90 characters but this is just from what I've seen don't come at me.

The music is awesome. The character select screen is this inspirational hip-hop track about training to be a great fighter and it flows into the walking animation before the fight and is good at hyping you up without feeling repetitive. That's also good because every character on the start screen has an animation both before and after you select them and I've never seen a fighting game do animations that in depth but it really makes the personalities of the characters shine such as Ryu standing, waiting for the fight patiently, Chun-Li sitting on her suitcases, Kimberly constantly listening to music both normally and upside down, it's so neat and I'm nicking that idea.

The realistic art style I think works well with the general vibe Street Fighter 6 has like it feels a bit more gritty, if you get what I mean. Not to mention it's cool seeing older characters from the days of janky pixel art in realism. The graphics are pretty good too. Their physics engine isn't perfect and Ryu has his sash clipping into his arms on the character select screen but the movements are very close to realism. The graphics need a little more of a nudge to reach perfect realism but I don't mind how they are right now. Too realistic would be weird for a video game, I think. That physics engine does need refining though: the way the wind blows on Chun-Li's dress sometimes bugs me. As much as I like the realistic art style here though, I think Street Fighter 7 should have a more stylised art style to keep the variety and the distinct styles for all the mainline entries. The backgrounds and UI are cool too.

Overall, Street Fighter 6 looks really cool (basically the only modern AAA game that I actually care about) but I don't think I'll ever play it because fighting games require one to be good at games and I suck at them so I'll just sit from afar like I did when I went down the Sonic rabbit hole and learned the name of every mainline entry in like a week.

[fabien-euskadi]

2, 12, 13, 14, 16, 20, 23, 25

2- Coffee or tea?

I must confess I absolutely love both. However, I desperately need coffee (usually three of them) to function as a human being, while tea is just a matter of enjoyment. Sadly, depression has taken away the pleasure I felt while drinking any of them - now, coffee and tea no longer taste like anything (either good or bad), they are merely hot liquids I happen to ingest.

12- What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

That is a good question - a very good one, indeed. If depression manages to defeat me once and for all, I would rather be forgotten than remembered. If I manage to vanquish this horrible depression, then I would rather be remembered as someone who genuinely lived and wrote, someone who loved, someone who fell in love, someone who felt out of love.

And then you may ask: "don't you want to be remembered as someone who was also deeply loved?" Well, yes, but… perhaps that is a little too much, and, to be honest, being loved is not something that is truly in my hands, and so, I accept that the gods will not grant me that one (albeit I suspect that no god is powerful enough to make someone know me and genuinely love me).

13- If you could commit any crime without consequence, which crime would you commit? Or would you not commit any crime at all?

I would erase all humans from the face of Planet Earth, bar the good souls. However, one question remains: would that act (technically, the biggest genocide ever) turn me into a criminal or into God Almighty?

14- Would you rather know the date or cause of your death?

From where I am now, I honestly suspect that I will be the one to end my own life. So, I will know the answer to both when the time comes.

16- Are we really living or are we just slowly dying?

I don’t know about you, but, as we speak, I am just postponing my own ending. Although I admit that perspective can change if my luck also changes. Yet, does luck actually exist at all?

20- If there’s hell of some sort, do you think you’re going there?

If hell is more than a mere religious concept that implies an afterlife, then I suspect it would look like a small, picturesque farm on a valley in the middle of nowhere, for that is my definition of hell. Sadly, that is also the place where I am in this exact moment. Maybe, I won’t need to die to go to hell - I am already there (here) without even stop breathing.

23- Would you rather be burned at the stake but die a saint beloved by all, or die peacefully but have nobody remember you?

If I did not get everyone’s love in life, I don’t need to have it after I kick the bucket. And to be honest, I have already had my fair share of pain in life – for example, the last ten years were mostly consumed by a depression that, in the last couple of years, is only getting worse and worse.

Sometimes, I wake up and I feel I just wanted to die and be forgotten by all; other times, I wake up and I feel I just wanted to die, since everyone has already forgotten me.

25- What question would you ask the devil?

"Does love actually exist?"

The question would probably baffle the poor creature (I suspect he is not powerful enough to answer this one - neither him, nor his boss from Heaven), so, instead of reformulating my interrogation, I would replace with a completely different one:

"Can you suggest me any black metal bands?"

(I know the devil likes black metal - he MUST love it to pieces)

(thank you for all the questions 🤍 - I hope you are feeling good; and sorry for the morose tone of my replies, but these early days of autumn have not been easy at all)

[ariswul]

Hot girl summer skincare 🌺🌞

Hello girlies! I am back with another essay where I would like to share with you some information concerning solar protection, or, to be more precise, why using sunscreen is a must and how to purchase the correct sunscreen for you.

First, let us cover the basics: the most used solar products that almost every hot girl who's ready for summer has in her beach bag. Here we have:

I. Sunscreen. Used for protecting the skin from sun rays.

II. Bronzer. Used to enhance and assist tanning.

III. Aftersun. Used to calm the skin after prolonged sun exposure.

Before we get into detail about the cosmetics, let's cover the topic of the sun, and more specifically, solar radiation. Before using any sun-related products, it is essential for us to be informed about the source that is encouraging us to use these products.

How solar radiation works

The solar radiation that we perceive is formed by three types: infrared radiation, visible radiation, and invisible radiation, aka ultraviolet. There are two types of UV radiation: UVB and UVA.

UV radiation of any kind is very harmful for the skin. It is linked to premature aging and the formation of free radicals (which are bad-guy molecules that cause damage to body cells, often resulting in illnesses and diseases that can be deadly), and UV radiation also suppresses the immune system.

Both UVB and UVA radiation are not good for the skin, although UVB radiation provides some benefits, such as:

I. It is responsible for giving the skin a tanned appearance.

II. It allows the body to process vitamin D , with the sun being the main source of this vitamin.

III.The sun also activates metabolic and circulatory processes within the body.

Other than these benefits, UVB radiation provides a lot of harm in the form of:

I. Increased redness, swelling, and discomfort

II. Increases the risk for hyperqueratosis (excessive skin thickness and roughness)

III. Affects the immune system negatively

IV. Promotes chemical reactions between cells that ultimately lead to skin cancer.

UVA radiation, on the other hand, is responsible for pigmenting the skin but is also very dangerous because it starts allergic and toxic processes that affect the skin once in contact with the solar rays.

UVA radiation is the one that penetrates the skin the deepest.

_________________________________________

Solar radiation in general promotes skin cancer and affects the moles on the body. If you have any moles that particularly stand out or cause discomfort (such as a desire to itch the mole, a lack of hair near the mole, or bleeding), it is recommended that you visit a dermatologist, especially if the area where you live has intense solar radiation.

Moles might look pretty harmless, but any kind of change within the mole, such as shape changing or increasing in size by a mere 0.02 milimeters, is already a sign of potential danger that can be fatal.

Basically, get your moles checked, especially those that present a particularly dark color or a strange size. Apply a generous amount of sunscreen to your moles and get them checked. In fact, it is better to remove them, which is commonly done by a laser specialist.

Skin phototypes

( I will be referencing the image I attached)

Before we start talking about suncreen, we need to understand the concept of "phototype.". A "phototype" is a set of characteristics that your skin presents concerning color. This means that, depending on your personal phototype, you will need sunscreen with a specific SPF (Solar protection filter).

~

Phototype 1 skin is very, very light. (Look at the image reference.) This kind of phototype never tans and always burns. The SPF recommended for this skin type is 50 and above.

Phototype 2 skin can tan, but minimally. It tends to burn in most cases, if not almost always. This skin complexion is also quite fair, but not extremely fair like in phototype 1. The SPF recommended for this skin type is 50 or above, since it is still very sensitive to sunrays.

Phototype 3 skin can easily burn, but when it tans, it is very well balanced. Basically, there is a decent possibility for tanning, although burning can happen as well. The SPF recommended for this skin type is between 30 and 50.

Phototype 4 skin tans rather easily, so the skin doesn't tend to burn, although it can, but that would be more complicated for this skin type since it is naturally darker. The SPF recommended for this skin type is between 20 and 25, although you can go for 30 too.

Phototype 5 skin almost never burns, and it tans very quickly and evenly. People with this phototype have brown or dark brown skin. The SPF recommended for this skin type is the same as for Phototoype 4, between 20 and 25.

Photoype 6 skin never burns and easily tans. This phototype applies to black people. The SPF recommended for this skin type is minimal, between 8 and 10.

Having covered the six phototypes, I invite you to choose sunscreen based on your personal phototype.

Sunscreen. Your best friend from now on ☀️🧴

There are 5 types of SPF based on how much they protect the skin ( SPF stands for "solar protection filters"):

• Between 4 and 6, there is low protection.

• 8 is medium protection.

• Between 15 and 25, there is high protection.

• Between 30 and 50, there is very high protection.

• 50+ is ultra-protection.

Phototypes 1 and 2 need ultra-protection; phototypes 3 and 4 need very high protection, between 25 and 30; and phototypes 5 and 6 need low- to medium-protection.

It is important to choose good sunscreen products. You could buy sunscreen from your average supermarket, which would be a tolerable option if you were only planning to use it on the body since it does its function of protecting your skin, but if you want to protect your face, it is important to invest in a decent sunscreen. This is because the skin on our face is more specific, and there is a wide variety of skin types that require the use of special products (which is also why it is not recommended to use body sunscreen on your face since it has a high chance of clogging your pores).

For instance, when deciding on a sunscreen for your face, make sure it doesn't contain comedogenic substances (which promote pore clogging, a big no-no for oily skin and especially for people with acne); You can use an online calculator to find out how comedogenic a product is. Almost every product has 1-2 comedogenic components, but it is usually not that big of a deal as long as there are no more than 2 of them. You basically look up the product online and copy and paste the ingredients into the website. (I will leave a link at the end of this essay.)

It is recommended to use sunscreen on a daily basis, which is why you must invest in a sunscreen protector for your body and skin. Even on cloudy days, about 90% of solar radiation goes right through the clouds. And even if you're on the beach in the shade, know that sand reflects the sun's rays as well, as does water. To be safe, just wear sunscreen. #sunscreeenforever !!!😋☀️

Concerning bronzers, it is very important to know that bronzers do NOT replace sunscreen. They do not protect the skin whatsoever. Sunscreen is primary; bronzer is secondary and can help you achieve a more intense and regular tan.

Aftersun products are a must as well, especially if your skin has burned. The most common ingredient in Aftersun is aloe vera, due to its calming and refreshing properties. I keep mine in the fridge so that when I apply it, it feels cold and refreshing.

~

Links and useful tools:

~ Comedogenic calculator:

https://acneclinicnyc.com/pore-clogging-ingredients/

~ To find out how intense the solar radiation is today, you can look up "UV index + (area where you live)". It's a useful tool to know when the sun is at its peak, so you can protect your skin.

Thank you for reading! 🩷

[wistereia]

question bout Wisteria cos i utterly ADORE her design, is there a practical use for those extra appendages/bladed wires she has?

YES!! Oh my god thank you SO much for asking!! I kind of am going to dump a lot of information about it below, but here's a quick diagram / explanation!

Essentially, they're used for another means of defense, think searing-hot built-in knives, or when inactive can be used to jack into terminals and the like to hack! Each tendril "end" has a connector concealed in it, and this ultimately allows her hands to be free at all times!

Okay here's the dump: Wisteria is first & foremost a netrunner, above all. She rarely uses guns or blades besides her cybernetics, so everything on her body HAS to be practical & either for extreme defense (I.E mantis blades) or for hacking. She is equipped with a Cyberdeck and can quickhack enemies, but even the best netrunners can run low on ram or get caught in an unsavory situation. This is the alternate solution, because as much as she ADORES her mantis blades, they really require her to be focused on no more than two (and barely) enemies at once.

The colored part of the blade, when activated, are burning hot when lit; without the digital "blades" not on, they feel like cold steel and cut like knives. Given a blade has been activated recently, they do need a small period to cool down before retreating to their inactive state or using that specific blade to hack a terminal.

To give fairness/limit the reach of these tendrils, they cannot imaginably reach more than her wingspan would be if she were to have a proper set of wings or much rather, the full height of Wisteria themselves (5'4" without heels). Not only that, but the tendril "body" themselves are NOT much better than, for example, the body of a whip. In rare circumstances, yes, you could use them to choke or detain someone, but there would need to be additional support of both arms to pull/tighten to that extent. Think more of a cat's tail rather than a powerful muscle!

Finally, this also poses a very challenging (and fun) design for me personally! Not only does it not make sense to have clothing that rests on her forearms, she almost always needs to have an opened-backed top or dress that accommodates her additional ligaments.

I originally had the idea to allow the tendrils to support her body weight (which would give her extra mobility) but realized it's reaching outside the "grounded in reality" limit I try and give myself. Although a cool concept, this being connected to her spine and the prior mention of it's similarity to a cat's tail, unfortunately feels like a reach. Although it did produce a fun concept sketch!

AGAIN!! Thank you so much for asking, it really made my day and I hope you enjoy this brain dump!! You're AWESOME!!

[molly0611]

Film Journal #6 - The 1970’s

Mazinger Z - Go Nagai (1972-1974)

(this will focus on episode 13, as I could not find a working english translation of episode 1)

Technique

Mazinger Z is an animated tv show created in the 1970’s. There is sadly little I could find on the specifics of how “Mazinger Z” was created, but given the information we have we can assume it was animated by hand. The art style most commonly related with anime is also present here. I am unsure exactly when it started - especially given the existence of manga - but given that post wwii Japanese animation was much closer to emulating the styles of American animation, it can be assumed that by this point the styles were already set in place. “Mazinger Z” also began life as a manga, originally running from 1972-1974 as well, with the tv show beginning just 2 months after the manga’s release. The dub of the original show I was able to access is interesting to say the very, very least. The dub, directly commissioned from Toei (the studio behind the tv show) was very clearly created by a team with little experience, likely due to either the single studio not having much reference, or the general idea of animations being newer to the idea of translating shows like this. I am unsure on the specifics of this and would love to look into it more but, unfortunately there is not the time to do so here so I will leave it at the overall facts that television series as well as the mecha genre in general were very new, and so those may have been contributing factors.

Representation

As with any good tv show or Shakespearean play, Mazinger Z episode 13 features both a main and sub plot. Within the main plot, Baron Ashura (a half-man, half-woman in the very literal sense that they have a face split in half by traditionally masculine and feminine traits, and have two separate voice actors in the same regards) activates a mechanical beast with the ability to shoot flames hot enough to melt rocks, camouflage itself as a snowball, and throw swords (an ability we do not see until much later). The ball then rampages through the town until it is spotted by some morally ambiguous side characters as well as Sakaya Yumi, the pilot of the robot “Aphrodite A” - another mech similar to Mazinger Z but with more feminine features. During this discovery, the main character Koji Kabuto finds himself trapped inside his house by a large group of Baron Ashura’s “Iron masked men” (as they are referred to by Koji). He dispatches them quickly and flies his “Pilder” (a small, helicopter-like vehicle) into the operating seat of his robot, Mazinger Z. from there he begins helping Sakaya in her fight with the evil robot, as she has already used both of her (for lack of any sort of better terminology I could possibly use in a blog post I am being graded on for school) boob rockets. Once Mazinger Z enters the fight, Aphrodite A functionally disappears and the day is saved after a quick physical exchange. The side plot is nothing much past a snow sculpture contest where an exact simulacrum of the judge in snow is awarded first place.

Reception

Mazinger Z was wildly influential at the time and its effects continue even to this day. Much to the dismay of its creator, who would have much preferred his work on “Devilman” to get more recognition than what was effectively a long running joke. If Mazinger Z did not create the mecha genre, it did at the very least make changes to it (namely the concept of a person being inside the robot instead of controlling it from the outside, among others).  Although it is very fair to say that works such as “Astroboy” and “Tetusjin 28-go” are for all intents and purposes more important than Mazinger Z, especially given the former two also inspired the latter, on the account that the entire genre focusing around people in giant robots fighting each other is visibly connected to this show definitely gives it notoriety. In addition to its influence, Mazinger Z is also interesting to talk about in regards to gender. Directly from the start of the show, the second character we are ever introduced to (and the first who is ever given a name) is Baron Ashura, the conjoined body of two mummified, forbidden lovers who was resurrected by Dr. Hell, the main antagonist of the series. Ashura, from what I can tell over a very short view of around one and a half episodes, is generally treated fairly well by the show. While they certainly fall into the trope of having evil characters be generally non-conforming in some way, they seem to be treated more or less the same as everyone else. Sakaya Yumi however, is a much different read. There is enough information to suggest that her inclusion as a pilot of a mech was more or less a step forwards however, save that point there is not much in favour of her as a character. Her opening scene includes a joke is made about her body, and while again she is given command over a mech, it is still heavily weighted down by both its naming convention being of the Greek Goddess of love, and the fact that seemingly it's only weapons are large missiles that make up the boob part of the mech’s feminine design. This it should be noted is not in any way meant to insinuate that the inclusion of Aphrodite A is in itself the problem, but instead that in addition to only impounding the way which the character of Sakaya Yumi is portrayed, it is also an otherwise very non-sexual show which only makes it more clear the intent and biases behind her character.

Sources

I was not able to read all of this one for this given time restraints but it looks interesting and is related enough that I’m adding in here

[bisluthq]

i didnt know you were on a hiatus when they broke up? it must’ve been weird for you to digest it all, especially seeing one party suddenly changes narratives that fast and were being angry as hell on her behalf

!! long rant alert im in the mood for talking

okay maybe not that *weird* because although it sucks as someone who likes both of them individually and as a couple but the world keeps spinning right but judging from your past posts about them and how you and your anons just adored them it must’ve been atleast a bit ??? for you (& i dont wanna imagine all the anons going to your inbox lmaoo) 😅

i remembered still a week after the break up (matty not yet in the picture) swifties were legit going to cornelia street mourning the relationship only for a couple of days later someone brought up the joe & taylor running to the car video then boom suddenly people were treating him like he killed her cats. i mean as a bystander (i was not a joe fan back then, i havent watched his films yet) it was so… amusing? interesting? to see… someone should do a research on swifties parasocialism back then lol

i thought he’s gonna get the calvin treatment in a year or so but sadly i dont think they will be forgetting about him soon and how he kept her *locked* for 6 years(?)

even until now, i’ve followed his stan accounts on tweet. they will post something about him completely unrelated to taylor but somehow there’s gonna be those huge swiftie accounts that’s gonna chime in and just talk negatively about him. recent one it’s his glambot at the oscars. well obv im a fan so i thought he was cute doing it but apparently for the eyes of these accounts it was horrible, like the joey king glambot type of horrible

so 😅😅😅 it really is tiring tbh. if anyone here dont wanna hear anything about him like the previous anons please just skip his hate tweets….. like dont ever engage in one because you’ll be getting tons of it the next time and find yourself in a joe stan account that loved him too much they can be a bit crazy 🤣🤣 and then you’ll be wondering “omg why does he have stans?!?!” well… 🤷🏻‍♀️ i’ve warned ya

oh also i do think his stans do care about who he may be dating, but its mostly they’ll keep it to themselves in the groupchat and just let him be yk, like not stalk who his potential gf may be. i mean he’s a public figure anyway, we’ll def know if he’s having a new gf or even wife

ok so that’s my random rants thanks for reading

I think I actually did come back like when the breakup was announced but everyone still annoyed me a bit (they were annoying me before, that’s why I went to touch grass) so I went to touch more grass lol and idk what eventually triggered me like returning more permanently - I think maybe the annoying people mostly left me alone and also I managed to like block the fuck out of a lot of accounts? But the 180 didn’t stun me. I did expect the people who thought he poops rainbows and vomits unicorns would hate him post breakup. I guess I didn’t fully anticipate the voracity of their hatred or how long it’s lasting lol because they’re LEGIT obsessed.

I really liked them together but I also - and I kept saying that then too - didn’t ever tie like my personal self-worth/mental health/conception of love idk to it. They were just a cute couple who are hot to me and who I think worked for a long time and then… didn’t. Sad. Shit happens. Very few things in life legit last forever.

as for who Joe’s dating - ofc it’s interesting, in the same way anyone public facing’s love life is interesting? It’s not weird to be interested. I hope for his sake and the sake of the women’s tho no one bothers them until they’re sure because Swifties are fucking awful. I’ve also said like this is my stance on Harry because HIS OWN FANS are absolutely batshit crazy. Like it’s legit very interesting to me and when it’s public domain, I think it’s fair to discuss, but I don’t think any woman on earth deserves the insanity dating Harry (or now dating Joe) would result in. I also don’t think either of those dudes are worth it lmfao because idk how awesome the dude has to be to be worth all that. I’m not sure ANY dude is.

anyway idk best of luck to these people who are so weird about Joe tbh like I hope they get to touch grass at some point.

[variousqueerthings]

It's a movie. You'd like that one too. Everybody dies.

Empress of Mars, let's goooo! I've actually taken notes for this one too, although I did have to watch it over four sittings, due to limited time, so now it's kind of a puzzle of vignettes in my head. very short serial length

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 10/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 4/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 7/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 7/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 4/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 9/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 10/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 8/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 5/10

FULL RATING: 74/100 (if I can count….)

I think I like this one. I'm always a bit wary about stories in Doctor Who that are about British colonists, and I'd say this one doesn't quite hit the mark on justifying that point of view in this one either, but otherwise there's a fair bit to enjoy. It's solid. dependable. Ice Queen hot. that sort of thing

the pacing is a bit wack, but otherwise...

OBJECTIFICATION: Bill has a great look in this one generally. I mean, she's dressed like the Doctor, so they're both killing it, and then she's also pulled her hair back, it's great, sleek, pro scifi lookin stuff -- also considering this is a very dude-heavy episode, they eschew (this appears to be my favourite word of the day) any creepy leering of the kind I remember all too well from some other stories that featured men from this era (looking at you dinosaurs on a fucking spaceship)

I'd even give it bonus points for its Ice Queen design, which, generally I think DW has been pretty good at making men and women alien designs relatively equal (nothing like like sexy cyberwoman of Torchwood), and in this case I was having a bit of the swoons at the Ice Queen's predator-like dreads and wonderful armour!

PLOT-POINT: Bill isn't really explored in this one. she's present alongside her ideals, although I do think this is one of the ways it's a bit of a flaw to make the other characters Victorian soldiers -- they're the sanitised version of what this might look like, up to and including a black man in the unit who's just some guy along with the rest of them, which is really more about politics than anything else, but the point is it feels kind of strange to have her in this place in a way I think for example thin ice, which was able to be an episode that had black people in it, while still acknowledging that black people walk through the world differently due to racism

which, considering how heavily this episode focused on "empire as concept" in various parts, feels a bit like an oversight to not have Bill at least have more opinions about

I did like her having some Moments with the Ice Queen, mainly because the way Pearl Mackie played it made me think Bill was also kind of attracted to her (alien fucker Bill seems right to me), but I wish they'd amounted to a little more than the lip-service of "men amirite?" because yeah, Victorian-age soldier dudes probably would have been insufferable to deal with on average (#notallvictoria- *gets sniped*) and Bill potentially having to navigate around that in order to find common ground with the Ice Queen idk... coulda been cool as potential

it all comes back to the choice of making this a bit about Queen And Country which is what I'm not so into, and other things fold into that

COMPLEXITY: it's relatively simple once you get past the "Victorians on Mars" part, which is standard DW fare. I do think some of the plot was paced a bit oddly, but that could have been my fractured watching schedule. it just seemed to go quite slowly up until finding the Ice Queen and then very fast to the conclusion

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: the Master is now freeee!!!!!! and the Ice Warriors are more back in nu!who DW lore than previously (they have been in nu!who before, but this feels a little more like the Silurians, a bit more settled AND it ties into stuff they wrote for the third Doctor)

(I know Waters Of Mars was a Very Particular Kind Of Episode, but I always wonder if that's just... lurking underneath there...)

it's on the whole not super overarching plot-driven, which is fine. the Master is in two scenes and she kills both times, honestly Michelle Gomez takes my breath away

COMPANIONS MATTER: Bill, as mentioned, has some heeey Ice Queen moments, and I like how well she and the Doctor work together and how she's able to take lead. I am in a headspace with Bill where I wonder how willing she is to die or whether she thinks she will die. in the last episode she really did think she would, so what does that say for where she is now when she says she's willing to act as a distraction -- it all ends up fine, but I'll probably come back to this thought once we've seen the last episode

also liked that she was savvy enough to guess that the atmosphere was breathable. it's just little things like that which feel like a companion is involve in the story and not just tagging along and waiting for the Doctor to do something impressive

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: yeah, the Doctor is more aware of how to deal with the Ice Warriors, but on the whole is as much taken along for the ride as everyone else, and he's not the one who saves the day either

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: ALPHA CENTAURI!!! I heard the voice and was like "I KNOW THAT VOICE NOW!" (classic!who watch upgrade!) and of course the Ice Warriors! I think this episode ties into the curse of Peladon which is wonderfully involved as callbacks go and honestly I think one could continue along that strand if one wanted to

I cannot remember how I felt about this episode when I didn't have all this context, but it definitely heightens its enjoyment upon watching it this time

“SEXINESS”: none of that nonsense here. the Master has some fantastic moments in her brief appearance of this and it's so delightfully serious, which is a neat turnaround for her depiction of the Master and continues on from last episode

INTERNAL WORLD: Once the Victorians on space is accepted (yep, accepted) they're on Mars, simple-as. Not overcomplicated as is often the case

POLITICS: Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo why Victorians? Why soldiers? (soldiers because of the Ice Warriors connection, which, I note they did in Cold War too, because nobody's allowed to meet Ice Warriors that's just some guy I guess)

it feels like it was under-thought/under-baked as a whole, which leads to a certain lacunae related to these white guys running around trying to colonise Mars for the queen as set dressing for the episode, with their one token Black Victorian soldier guy who's the same as the rest and dies a very gruesome death, which is meant to be the point of Making The Audience Connect To The Poor Victorian Soldiers because he has a sweetheart yousee, he's quite lovely, but it all comes off a biiiit like they didn't think through the Connotations of what they were doing. things like tokenism and colour blind casting and generally the sort of complaints that have been had about Martha's season as well in relation to the historical episodes

and while there is some mention of the Victorians as colonisers, it's a bit haphazard, because in the end it's mostly just this one guy who's bad and the other one who pledges himself to a new queen

it's not the worst of politics on this show by a long mile, but I think nu!who has had a bit of an issue related to British history and romanticising British empire and monarchy (queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth 1st and 10th, Churchill, that guy in dinos on a spaceship, to some extent nightmare in silver and smile)

(not to mention classism and underlying empiristic concepts in things like girl in the fireplace and some of the underlying problems of human nature/family of blood, which while honest about WWI struggles with balancing its depiction of British boarding school's violence against boys with what Martha faces especially, some of my personal qualms with writing UNIT, and the president of the world stuff)

there's more or less of this depending on the series and s10 is better for it mostly (including in the very next episode) but it did mean this episode came out of left-field by making these choices and then not doing anything substantial with them

FULL RATING: 74/100 (if I can count….)

she's quite highly rated this one, and I think it partially comes down to Ice Queen hot and partially the way it ties into some very old lore making a reappearance

I quite like this one, it's a simple solid concept. if it weren't for those Victorians and the pacing being a bit off... but yeah, I had a good time

[that1notetaker]

TIS US!!

God yeah. Like. Introverted Theo,,,that's all I ask. Except not exactly.

Like the fun thing about our version of Theo's is that he is introverted, and a nerd, but in a way that only appears so once you get to know him. Otherwise he just looks like one intimidating, creepy motherfucker.

I especially like wixen's physical version of him, because it doesn't make of Theo a model or a particularly handsome person, UNLESS you're looking specifically for it, OR you've fallen hard. Hence, Harry.

My guy has crooked teeth and a looong nose, and his cheeks are a little too high, and his skin is probably pretty fair, and all in all, it makes him look stringy and although certainly distinctive, not all that conventionally attractive.

I love that vision. I love that concept. The stringy boy that's barely described in the books. The guy that falls in the shadows, and does his thing. The only reason why he starts hanging out with Draco in the books, is right after both their fathers get sent to prison. It's the one thing he had in common with the guy, it looks like.

And like. I love the name Nott. I love how it means Night in old Nordic. I love how we can run away with that simple fact and make this guy a skinny modern viking. (Not me also running away with a Hiccup 2.O version lmao) I love how we can just make him this cool character with little Northern Features, and magical braids and someone that although looks cold, cold have so much fire in him.

It's a direct contrast with harry, but in a way that also matches in all the right slots. I love that dynamic.

They are both hot and cold in different ways that reflect or balance each other. The way I like to read it, at least. It's so fun, man

Going through the NottPott tag is like walking through a wasteland. There's not much content, and the content there is, is so far from my specific perspective that I enjoy, that there might as well be near nothing.

On the fun side, the people that are around and kinda have the same brain to brain ideas, are over there walking in circles around each other like a fun-fare.

[brandonxdylan]

Ranking the GAY EPISODES of Beverly Hills, 90210 - Part 1

Pride month may be coming to a close, but I didn’t want to let it slip by without doing a little something special. I thought it would be fun to do an overview of all of the gay-themed storylines from the series. There were quite a few of them over the years (although not as many as there were seasons of the show, which perhaps is saying something), especially considering for a show that didn’t have any significant queer content on a consistent basis, and certainly no gay regulars to speak of. These episodes run the gamut from throwaway fluff to pretty dark and heavy, and I’m going to rank them in terms of how effectively I think they handle the “gay” element (spoiler alert: not well), as well as how satisfying they are in terms of soapy drama.

I really tried to give these episodes a fair shake, knowing that it would be pointless to judge them for not delivering deeply nuanced takes in an era where we simply were not getting that on prime time network television. I feel like they still mostly fall short, but there’s enough good stuff in here to warrant some genuine consideration.

A couple of caveats before going forward. First of all, some of these episodes deal with some serious themes (AIDS, suicide, gay bashing), so consider yourself trigger warned. Secondly, this post is all in good fun, so lets not take it (or my hot takes) too seriously.

#8.) Crimes and Misdemeanours (Season 8, Episode 19)

Kicking things off, in dead last we have this dud from season 8, which has precisely one, single joke to offer, and still manages to screw it up. Steve runs into a woman at the Peach Pit, and while flirting with her, makes passing reference to Brandon, his “partner.” Obviously, he means business partner, but when she invites Steve and his “boyfriend” Brandon to lunch with she and her “girlfriend,” she clearly means it, and Steve somehow doesn’t think anything of it, and is all to happy to report to Brandon that he snagged them an awesome double date. At lunch, the two “couples” somehow get through the entire meal just beating around the bush, with the women (obviously lesbians by this point) clearly referring to Brandon and Steve as a couple, but these dummies of course don’t pick up on any of this out of sheer dimwittery and, I don’t know, super thick hetero-goggles or something. No, it’s not until Steve and Brandon are invited to the women’s apartment for dinner (which Steve expects to be an orgy, because of course he does) and they’re literally staring at the one bed shared by both women that either of them start to realize what’s really going on. Gay panic ensues, and the whole thing is played for laughs (not that there are any). I’m a sucker for these ridiculous sicomy setups involving misunderstandings and misplaced romantic interest, and this show can occasionally do them well (the luau episode from season 10 is a fabulous example of this, and also has some fun gay content - more on that later), but the problem is none of this is funny or surprising. Neither is it insensitive or exploitative. It’s just kind of stupid. The reveal can be seen coming a mile away, and the whole episode is just buildup to what I’ll generously call the punchline. A better show would’ve done a lot more with this, maybe playing with the concept of Steve seeing heterosexuality as the default, and being blind to other possibilities. Ideally, it also would have had more than one joke.

#7.) Comic Relief/Santa Knows (Season 8, Episodes 13-14)

David takes a job at a car wash, where he notices a bunch of his coworkers making very boring and unimaginative gay jokes about a young male employee named Ben who lives in the garage’s office due to the fact that his dad kicked him out for being gay. David confronts Ben’s parents in the hopes of getting them to see the error of their ways, but the interaction ends with Ben’s dad choosing to declare that “I don’t have a son,” rather than accept Ben for who he is. It’s really harsh, but in dad’s defense, David has very little tact, and it’s really none of his business considering he met Ben five minutes ago. In spite of this, Ben still holds out hope for a reconciliation. While his mom is somewhat more receptive than his dad, she still tells Ben that it’s for the best that he give his dad time to cool down. David once again intervenes, asking Ben’s mom - a woman who is very clearly deeply torn between her love for her son and her need to grant her husband the authority he commands - why she can’t just explain to her husband why taking Ben back in is the right thing to do, as if it’s just that easy. And that’s really the problem with this storyline. It deals with some really dark and emotionally complicated subject matter, and it’s just so glaringly obvious that telling this story from the perspective of a detached outsider is not the best way to approach it. Especially considering it’s David, whose track record for empathy and compassion is fucking zero. Give this to someone like Steve, which would allow him to experience some emotional growth alongside Ben’s parents, or Valerie, who has her own history of familial turmoil (though she does pop up later in this episode and isn’t much more helpful than David, so maybe scratch that one). All of this proves to be too much for Ben to take, and David discovers that he plans to slit his wrists. This is where Val gets involved, as she and David basically just berate Ben into not hurting himself, with Val insisting that she understands Ben’s particular struggles more than she actually does or possibly could. They both give him the “tough love” treatment which, hey, is maybe not what this kid whose parents openly hate him actually needs. Still, it all ends up somewhat happily because of course all Ben and his parents really needed was for someone from the gang to show up out of nowhere and yell at them a bit in order to figure their shit out. This is a story worth telling, but coming at it from the perspective of someone who has nothing to do with it doesn’t allow for much depth. And it really doesn’t satisfy as a soapy plot line either. Even that would require more of an investment from the viewer, and we simply don’t have time or reason to suddenly be all in on this character who comes out of nowhere for two episodes and then disappears forever. Ultimately, this story is just too bleak and depressing to be much fun, and too shallow to be emotionally satisfying.

#6.) Summer Storm (Season 2, Episode 3)

This isn’t ranked low because it’s a bad episode. On the contrary, it’s actually a pretty good episode from one of the show’s best seasons, and builds on one of the show’s most iconic storylines - namely, Brenda and Dylan. However, that doesn’t really concern us here. What does concern us is the B story, about how Kelly meets a cute volleyball player named Kyle. They flirt a bit and eventually go on a date, but when Kelly starts putting the moves on Kyle, he suggests they cool it. Spoiler alert, it’s because he (sort of) comes out as gay later in the episode. But even if he didn’t, Kelly’s reaction to this is really weird. She takes it oddly personally that he doesn’t want to get naked with her on the first date, and gives him the cold shoulder the next day. I haven’t watched these early seasons in several years now but I guess Kelly’s always been a pouty drama queen. Anyway, Kyle does eventually confide in Kelly, telling her that he’s tried to be into girls, and that he genuinely likes her, but that he knows they can’t be more than friends. It’s kind of cute, and Kyle’s conundrum is a pretty common one. Though it’s definitely possible to assume he doesn’t come out as fully gay because the show didn’t want to go too far, it’s also kind of nice to get a portrayal of a character in the process of figuring out his sexuality, without any clear resolution. That is how it works in real life sometimes after all. But considering this is such a minor storyline and the queer content is pretty tepid, it’s hard to rank this any higher than I have it.

#5.) Baby, You Can Drive My Car/Family Tree (Season 10, Episodes 8-9)

Dylan meets with a guy named Andrew, who is one of the directors of a local community centre for kids, in order to discuss making a hefty donation. Andrew makes passing reference to an ex-boyfriend, which prompts a discussion about how Andrew has to remain closeted among co-workers out of fear of losing his job. He knows that there are some bigots out there who would have some not-so-great feelings about a gay man working with their kids (that old chestnut), and his co-director is apparently one of them. Dylan tries to reason that “hey, it’s the 90s,” and that Andrew shouldn’t have to be closeted for those reasons. Andrew, of course, knows better, and while he agrees that no, he shouldn’t have to, the fact remains that he does. To demonstrate that at least he accepts Andrew for who he is, Dylan puts his arm around him in a playful (yet platonic way). Unfortunately, this happens in a dark parking lot and within the presence of a group of homophobes whom proceed to attack Dylan and Andrew with a baseball bat. While Dylan manages to wrestle the bat away from one of the guys (sure) and escapes with just a few bumps and bruises, Andrew doesn’t get off quite as easy. Dylan’s eager to spill details to the cops, but Andrew refuses, on the grounds that he not only doesn’t want to drag this whole unpleasant incident out any further, but he also doesn’t want to draw any more attention that might put him (and his job) at further risk. Andrew’s fears prove to be perfectly justified when, through circumstance, his co-director, Patsy, finds out anyway, and suggests Andrew take a (permanent) leave of absence. As is always the case with this show when there’s a Gay in trouble, a member of the gang makes it their problem to solve, and so Dylan confronts Patsy about Andrew being let go. Although Andrew specifically tells Dylan that he doesn’t want his help, fearing that pushing his luck with Patsy is just going to make things more public and humiliating, Dylan says that he can’t justify donating to a bigoted organization, and he threatens to pull his funding if Patsy doesn’t agree to hire Andrew back. She reluctantly relents, allowing Andrew to return to work, but she pulls her son from Andrew’s basketball team, and soon enough, more kids start to drop out for the same reasons. As things escalate, Andrew decides that if his presence is going to detract from the mission of the centre - to provide care and support for kids - then he should quit. However, Dylan swoops in with one more ace up his sleeve. He talks to Patsy’s son directly, and gets him to question whether he really is uncomfortable with Andrew, or if it’s just his mother’s influence that’s making him think that way. This works, and all of the kids who had previously dropped out assure Andrew that they not only want him there, but they need him there. All in all, this is a decent storyline, but it does engage with a few tropes that rub me the wrong way. First of all, it’s never not at least a little annoying to watch straight characters sanctimoniously decide that doing their version of “the right thing” is more important than respecting the wishes of the gay characters whose safety and livelihood is what’s actually at risk, and this storyline is a pretty egregious example of that. It also follows the usual 90210 pattern of having characters just badger others relentlessly until they conveniently get their way. Granted, this case gets a bit of a pass in that regard, because the tirade that Dylan fires at Patsy is kind of satisfying, and Luke Perry is a good enough actor to make it feel properly motivated and believable. We do love an ally king.

Watch for Part 2!

[yelenabelovasbxtch]

Hi! I love your fics so much!! Can I please request no. 36 with flo? Maybe flo and reader are acting in a movie tgt and r has a fight scene where she's beating up the bad guys and Flo's watching behind the scenes

Behind The Scenes

a/n: I love this idea! I hope you enjoy!

#36: "Is it weird that was a total turn-on?"

Word Count: 1069

Concept: R is starring in Black Widow 2 and has a secret relationship with Florence. Lots of fluff and cute stuff. Also, Hailee being absolutely adorable and excited for the two of them.

Warnings: none? Not proofread.

Taglist: @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @wandanatvoid @3xbyrn320 @thorya22 @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @wandanatvoid @ailenepuff @amcg0615

About 7 months ago you were cast in the second Black Widow movie starring Florence Pugh and Hailee Steinfeld. Being somewhat new into the acting field this finally felt like your big break and you already broke one of the rules of filming. You had fallen head over heels for one of your co-stars. Look, to be fair, you had already been in love with Florence before filming started but when you got cast in the film you finally got to meet her and what once was a crush through TV and phone screens on someone who didn’t even know you existed quickly turned into crushing on someone you now consider one of your best friends. You just started filming for the movie about 2 months ago but since you were cast, you had multiple table readings with some of the other stars and also connected with Flo quite a bit over social media. Although she had never met you at that point she hyped you up whenever you posted something and messaged you what seemed like daily. Eventually, you guys got together to hang out and it was the most natural thing ever. You ended up seeing Flo at least three times a week, you’d go out eating, you would play video games, watch movies, etc. One night she invited you over and the two of you decided to do a wine and cheese night where you both got dressed up super fancy to just stay at home, drink, eat and watch TV. The two of you got a little too drunk this time and some things slipped out of Florence’s mouth that she maybe wasn’t ready to share with you. Next thing you know you’re waking up the next morning naked in bed with your best friend. To your surprise, Florence meant every last word of her confession of love. She wasn’t just drunk and speaking out of her ass she genuinely had feelings for you and now that things were more out in the open the two of you could see where things go with one another. While this was an amazing experience for the two of you, you both decided it would still be a good idea to keep things under wraps and not tell anyone just yet. Especially because you were about to start filming on Black Widow 2. With you two being some of the worst liars to exist you managed to make it multiple months without a slip up. However, being two openly bi actresses working on a movie together who spend a LOT of time with each other, of course there was going to be speculation.

“Hey babes.” You whispered in Florence’s ear as you passed her by sitting behind one of the cameras.

She just turned her head quickly and looked you up and down as a smirk came across her face. You looked hot. Especially hot in the costume they had you wearing. For her, it was serving Iron Man 2 Natasha Romanoff vibes and she was 100% into it.

You had a fight scene coming up, just you against a bunch of people. It was sort of like your “badass” entrance into the MCU.

You had been working hard with your fighting choreographer on this scene and you were super pumped that your girlfriend finally got to see it.

Florence was sitting next to Hailee as the two of them watched you absolutely kick-ass and after a few takes, you landed everything perfectly, absolutely seamless.

Hailee tells Flo she is going to go get some water for you as you finish up the last few shots for this scene.

As the director calls cut, everyone clears out as they’re all taking a 20-minute break. You walk over to your girlfriend looking absolutely adorable in the Black Widow set hoodie with her hair up in a messy bun.

“So…what did you think?” You say with a grin as it takes literally every fibre of your being to not pull her in for a hug and a kiss.

“You were absolutely brilliant y/n!”

“Yeah? Do you really think so? I mean, I know nothing compares to the classic Yelena Belova action sequences…” You say in a teasing tone.

Florence scoffs and blushes at your comment.

“Seriously though love, you were amazing. When you wrapped your arm around the one guy to then throw your body around him so your thighs were at neck level… a classic Black Widow move.”

“That one I am particularly proud of…and I feel honoured that I got the chance to do it.”

“I mean seriously though? Don’t tell Scarlett I said this but I think you did it better than her…like is it weird that was a total turn-on?”

“I’m sorry a what–?” You hear someone say from your side.

The two of you immediately snap your heads up and look over to see Hailee standing there with three bottles of water and her jaw on the ground after what she heard Florence say. Both of your eyes were wide and neither of you had a clue how to respond you just looked at each other then back at Hailee.

“I KNEW IT!” She screams with excitement. “I knew something was going on between you guys!”

“Shhhh we are trying to keep it on the down-low.” You say with a chuckle.

“Uhhhh…y/n…I think it’s too late for that.” Florence says as she points behind you and almost the entire crew has returned from their break. They all look at you guys with awkward smiles.

“Oops…well just so you know I’m OVER THE MOON happy for you guys!” She says linking her arms around your and Florence’s necks. “My best friends are dating! How sick is that!” Hailee says to the random cinematographer walking by you.

You and Florence just chuckle at how happy Hailee is to finally know the truth.

“Well…I guess it’s time to tell the world how much I love you.” She says looking at you with the warmest of smiles.

“I guess so…Oh and! I guess now I can do this anytime…” You say as you pull her in for a kiss.

As the two of you pull away you look over at Hailee and just see her with her mouth open in the biggest smile out of pure excitement for the two of you.

“THIS IS AWESOME.” She says.

– The End –

[chloelefay]

(using personal for this instead of main (@chloearit))

let's go!

3 SHIPS / FIRST EVER SHIP: despite being aromantic (or maybe because of it?) I actually ship quite a lot of characters, though most of my ships are canon or at least pretty obvious, probably my most out there ship is shipping two minor characters from completely different continuities of ninjago: Tox from the show and General Olivia from the movie. it's very silly but they're everything to me. I also ship Lloyd and Morro from Ninjago and I ship all five madomagi girls as a polycule.

LAST SONG: let's check! it's... FAUX by Cryoshell! they're mainly known for their origins as a band started by lego employees to make original music for bionicle, but they've actually made a fair amount of other music since, this song being one of those.

LAST MOVIE: Killers of the Flower Moon! it's very good. one of my friends worked on it. (although apparently his name didn't make it into the credits which kinda sucks.) you should watch it. ideally in the theatre. it is very long, but it's not exhausting, you can just sit back with some snacks and watch it unfold. do make sure you go to the bathroom before though and don't drink too much before or during it.

CURRENTLY READING: nothing. I have a hard time reading long-form.

CURRENTLY WATCHING: halfway through both Loki season 2 and Petit Eva. Loki is very good, better than I expected, and Petit Eva is very weird.

CURRENTLY CONSUMING: I'm always drinking orange tea (dried orange bits steeped in water, does not actually contain any tea leaves, apparently the concept that you can steep things other than tea leaves in water confuses some people.) and earlier I had a hot chocolate and a fried egg sandwich and took the wrong meds...

CURRENTLY CRAVING: some lemon cookies would be nice...

let's find some people to tag who haven't been tagged already...

@verdant-lobotany @lexical-lushes @notavampyre9 @waywarddoll @su-ryusei @the-stardust-shard @derf2324 @dlljs @bonapaga

Tag 9 people to get to know better

from @the-world-annealing

3 ships / First ever ship: it's extremely tumblr that this is the first question.

the weird Alucard/Seras/Integra polycule in Hellsing left a permanent impact on me, i think. the loyalty of a weapon, a hound, to its handler.

reimu/yukari as depicted in "Teeth and Claws"

augmented human c4-621/catching a fucking break for once in its life

Last song: Rusted Pride from the AC6 soundtrack. i was talking with @yashkonu about certain AC6 things last night and i just had to listen to it.

Last movie: uhh, probably Across the Spider-Verse? i'm not much of a movie person.

Currently reading: i haven't been reading as much as i'd "like" to, but I really need to finish the Machineries of Empire trilogy by reading Revenant Gun.

Currently watching: re-watching Yuri is My Job! with a friend, and watching 16bit Sensation: Another Layer, the Arknights anime, and

Currently consuming: just had some grape juice :)

Currently craving: really sour really caffeinated energy drinks. shouldn't have one though because if i have both energy drinks and my adhd medication i have an extremely bad time

normally i don't tag forward but i'm trying to be a little more social. no pressure if you don't wanna ofc.

let's say... @yashkonu @such-sweet-entropy @kaiasky @phaeton-flier @twilight-sparkle-irl @abalidoth @oathboundfamiliar @self-loving-vampire @thimbledoll

[ptergwen]

I think your requests are open (I didn’t see anything that said otherwise but I suck at this app lol) but I was wondering if you could write a peter x reader (likely college-age) where they have an academic rivalry and just tease each other a lot and lots of fluff and shit? It can be an established relationship or like a friends/rivals to lovers or really whatever you want. Sorry if this is super specific! Anyways, I love your writing, it always cheers me up :)

friends close, enemies closer

ik this is cherry BUT i had to

w/c: 1.6k

warnings: swearing and hints of suggestiveness

a/n: thank you my love ! i’m actually obsessed with this concept so i’m super super happy with how it came out n i hope you are too :,)

-

you wipe sweat from your upper lip, peeking at peter’s laptop screen. he’s more than halfway through the paper your english professor tasked your class to write. he looks to have not a worry in the world as he continues to type away. growling at this, you dive right back into work.

you’ve been at each other’s throats since the beginning of classes when you both wanted the same spot. first row, middle seat. peter had officially claimed it in the end. you’d flopped down next to him and his irritating smirk.

the dude is smart, you’ll give him that. his knowledge of literature is almost as impressive as yours. almost. he raises his hand any chance he gets, effectively stealing your thunder if you dare to participate.

peter is also a bit of a people pleaser. he’ll chat up your professor at office hours, fascinate her with his hot takes on things or stupid anecdotes. you often get so annoyed that you bail before you even attempt to woo her yourself. the sight of you storming off is something peter thoroughly enjoys.

bottom line is, golden boy peter parker never loses. underneath the sweet, innocent persona he hides behind is a ruthless fighter. you’re determined to end his winning streak, thus sparking your ongoing competition to be better than the other in every way possible.

this time, your goal is to meet your ten page paper requirements the fastest. they aren’t due for weeks, but you and peter are banging them out in one sitting.

you’re hauled up in the campus library, sat side by side despite your wishes for peter to get his own table. he’d insisted on sharing with you. why, you haven’t a clue. you can’t stand him, and he isn’t the fondest of you either.

that’s what you tell yourselves, at least.

“progress report?” peter requests from you. “page three. you?” you grunt back. he props his feet up on the table, arms flexed behind his head. “finishing up page seven. you already knew that, though... creeper.”

god, you can hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.

you glance over at peter, doing your best to ignore how his biceps bulge under his hoodie. nerdy little parker is ripped.

“worry about yours, i’ll worry about mine. thanks.” you reread the sentence you wrote prior to peter’s chiseled body distracting you. “oh, the irony,” he sighs and nudges the edge of your laptop with his sneaker. scowling, you shift the screen away from him.

about a minute of silence goes by until it’s unfortunately filled by peter. he stretches his arms out, finally removing his dirty shoes from the table.

“i’m gonna take five. maybe, you could use it as an opportunity to catch up to me,” peter cockily suggests. “spare me your charity, peter. i’m doing just fine without it,” you retort, letting out a scoff. peter raises his hands in defense. “if you say so, princess.”

here you were, naively thinking peter couldn’t become any more insufferable than he already is.

you slam your laptop shut and jab a finger at his chest. “jesus christ, how many times do i have to ask you not to call me that?” a patronizing pout adorns peter’s lips. “aw, i love it when you get all bossy on me. so cute.”

he grabs your hand still on his chest, pressing a light kiss to the back of it. you’re quick to wipe it off on his hoodie. nevertheless, there’s an undeniable heat rushing to your cheeks.

“well, i hate it when you call me princess,” you deadpan. peter tilts his head to the side. “do you?”

of course not. deep down, you live for the fuzzy feeling you get whenever the nickname slips from his tongue. oh, his tongue and the things it can do. poking out as he focuses hard on a question, running across his pink lips…

you have to reel it in. this is peter parker you’re fantasizing about, your mortal enemy.

“yes. i hate it, and i hate you,” you unsuccessfully convince the both of you. “no, you don’t,” peter rasps, darkened eyes scanning over your features. his stare is intense and intimidating. he grasps your chin between his thumb and index finger, slowly leaning in closer.

he’s not going to stop until you make him. you don’t want to, but you will.

you shove his shoulder, dragging your laptop towards you again. “on second thought, i could use that catch up. you’re not gonna throw me off my game, parker.”

your rejection seems to disappoint peter. his expression matches that of a kicked puppy, brows furrowed and arms crossed over his chest.

“we’ll see,” he murmurs and swings a leg over his chair. “alright, i’m gonna run to the caf. you want anything?”

he’s offering to buy you food now? what’s his angle here?

“i’d say yes, but i’m afraid you’ll poison it somehow,” you half joke. peter hops to his feet. “don’t give me any ideas,” he warns, snatching his backpack off the floor. “i’ll just surprise you.”

although you’re curious what his mystery snack choice for you would be, you can’t accept. you’d be going against your entire dynamic.

would that be so terrible?

absolutely.

you wave him off towards the double doors. “i’m good, peter. really. i’m not that hungry, anyway.” shaking his head, peter throws a backpack strap onto one shoulder. “y/n, your stomach’s been grumbling for the last hour. you gotta eat.”

he’s not wrong. you’re starving, but you’ve been too preoccupied by your essay to break for dinner.

“fine, surprise me,” you concede. peter flashes you a smile, this one void of its usual condescendence. “i’ll be back. try not to miss me too much,” he calls as he walks backwards to the library doors. “i won’t. shoo already,” you dismiss him, a laugh falling from your lips.

peter winks at you, then disappears into the night. you’re left with a serious case of butterflies and a certain freckle faced know-it-all on your mind.

that’s a problem.

you’ve managed to get another page done when peter reappears. he sits back down and slides a bag across the table, you closing your laptop. you dig into it to figure out what he picked for you. you’re not too pleased with his selection, however.

“oh, yummy. vomit in a cup,” you announce as you hold a green smoothie in your hand. peter reaches over and pats your thigh. “it’s good for you. drink up, princess.” you slap him away. “hard pass. i’d rather you have gotten me nothing.”

narrowing his eyes, peter pulls two cookies wrapped in a napkin from his pocket. “i’m guessing you don’t want these either? more for me, then.”

they’re chocolate chip and m&m, your favorite in the cafeteria. they just came out of the oven, so they’re still warm.

“how… how did you know i…” you trail off, peter setting the cookies in front of you. he offers you a lopsided grin. “i know a lot about you, believe it or not. i pay attention.” you surprise yourself by returning his smile. “thank you, peter. how much do i owe you?”

“nah, it’s on me,” peter assures you. “enjoy.” pushing aside your unappealing drink, you seize the cookies instead. “you have to eat, too. let me at least split these with you.” there’s a beat before peter nods. “fair enough.”

that results in you two munching on your cookies while pretending to write your papers. you’re sneaking glances at each other whenever the other isn’t looking, in reality.

once it’s about time for the library to close, you’re on the verge of passing out. peter is concluding his essay until he hears a thump from your side of the table.

he finds you with your cheek smushed against your keyboard and hitting random letters, snores escaping you.

chuckling to himself, peter places a hand on your shoulder. “hey, y/n?” he speaks in a hushed tone. you awake with a gasp, drool pooling at the corners of your mouth. “easy there, princess. it’s only me.” he rubs circles on your back, and it’s oddly comforting.

“keep doing that,” you purr, momentarily forgetting how much you’re supposed to despise peter. he lets his fingers dance across the exposed skin of your lower back. “we should probably head out. it’s kinda late,” peter decides.

you sit up, bones aching and eyes forced open. “not yet. have to beat you first.” you start to delete the gibberish you accidentally typed. peter cups your cheek to turn your head towards him, your movements halting. “this one’s a tie. you did good, y/n/n,” he coos. “finish the rest another day.”

“why’re you being so nice to me?” you nearly whisper. peter uses his thumb to swipe the drool from your lips. “‘cuz i care about you. i might not show it, but i do,” he admits with the hint of a smile. “besides, i need you… for the, uh, the healthy competition.”

laughing softly, you twist his hoodie strings around your fingers and tug. “your intentions are pure as always. sure that’s all you need me for?” peter’s gaze darts to your lips, then your eyes. “we’ll see,” he repeats.

rivalry be damned.

“mm. i care about you too, parker. thanks again for tonight,” you hum. a blush coats peter’s cheeks, even in the dim library lighting. his sweet and innocent side might truly exist. “no problem.” peter links your pinkie with his, the gesture giving you that fuzzy feeling. “i’ll walk you back to your dorm?”

you lean over and kiss his pinkie intertwined in yours.

“lead the way.”

[recurring-polynya]

I remember you making a post about Momo's theoretical sickass lava bankai - what if she achieved it in the middle of the ryouka invasion clusterfuck?

Oh, the old Momo’s bankai post? The same post where I said that getting bankai was not necessarily a sign of being a good person or a moral person and it certainly wasn’t a sign of being a mentally healthy person? That it was really just a sign of being driven to single-minded extremes? That post?

I was outside gardening when I got the notification for this ask, and I failed my critical reading check on the second part of it, and somehow got “Fake Karakura Town clusterfuck” instead of “ryouka invastion clusterfuck” and by the time I read it more carefully, I was already too in love with the idea that I had come up with, but I know what you like and I think you will like this.

Did Polynya stay between 500 and 1000 words?: 1668 

| ao3 | ff.net |

🔥      🔥      🔥

“Captain Aizen?” asked Gin. “Is everything all right?”

Aizen narrowed his eyes. “Something is coming through.”

Like nearly all of Yamamoto’s techniques, Joukaku Enjou was a manifestation of elemental fire magic. Elemental magic was difficult to control for anyone who didn’t specialize in it; countering it relied on tapping into the underlying kidou that controlled the spell. Joukaku Enjou didn’t have any underlying magical control structures, though, it was simply a giant sphere of horrifically hot flames that burned until it got tired of burning. Yamamoto himself could even be killed and it would continue on.

So, when Aizen felt a strange presence making its way through the bulwark of flames, he assumed it was the doing of the Captain-Commander himself. Aizen knew an illusion when he saw one, and this was definitely something physical. It was a cold spot within the fire-- not actually cold, mind you, just less hot, and yet it seemed to be traversing the barrier with only minor difficulty, the way one might wade through thigh-deep water. It had its own reiatsu--heavily muffled by the smothering magical static of Ryuujin Jakka, but familiar enough.

Tousen’s hand drifted to his sword hilt, Gin rocked on his heels. Perhaps they were trying to signal their readiness, their allegiance to him, but it honestly just came off as cowardice. To be fair, sometimes cowardice was a good thing to see in a subordinate.

“Attempting some sort of high-concept appeal is new for Yamamoto,” Aizen sighed boredly. “Hopefully it will at least be amusing in its feebleness.”

But when the small figure, the crude form of a woman shaped from molten rock, emerged into the clearing, as the flames wreathing its form fizzled down to glowing coals, it became clear that this was not some sort of construct, not some sort of simulacrum designed to elicit sympathies for a woman Aizen had never seen as anything more than an amusing plaything.

“Kill her,” Aizen demanded.

Gin was faster, of course, but Tousen was hardly far behind.

“Oh,” said the lava thing in the voice of Hinamori Momo, as she looked down to see her midsection skewered from two directions. “Well, that’s convenient. I was wondering how I was going to get you to touch me with your sword, Captain Tousen.”

And then, faster than he would have expected, streams of magma erupted from her, engulfing both zanpakutou, curling in great waves around his subordinates and cooling nearly instantaneously into rock.

“You didn’t even go to shikai, though,” Momo sighed, because it was Momo, but a Momo extrapolated to some impossible endstate, a Momo who had somehow found her own power, despite the years Aizen had spent chipping away at the foundations of her psyche. “I had to go to all the trouble of talking to Captain Zaraki to find out how he beat you, and I didn’t even need to! I wasn’t expecting such close conditions, although I suppose I shouldn’t complain about something that went so heavily to my advantage.”

Aizen’s eyes darted from Tousen to Gin and back again, as the rock consumed their faces, leaving only their eyes and noses exposed.

“I should kill you both, for what you’ve done to Captain Aizen,” Hinamori tried to growl, sounding no more threatening than a nursery school teacher. “But I’m not like you. You’ll just have to face justice back in Soul Society.”

Aizen’s mind worked frantically. This was unexpected, but not insurmountable. Momo had…was this her bankai? It had to be, her reiatsu was far beyond what he ever dreamed she was capable of. Fortunately, her brain capacity seemed to be at its usual dismal levels.

“Lieutenant Hinamori!” he gasped. “Oh, you’ve come for me! I knew that no one would believe--”

“I’m sorry if you’re talking to me right now, Captain,” Hinamori interrupted. “Or if I’m talking too loud. I’ve sabotaged all my sensory organs, you see. I know you aren’t yourself right now, and I couldn’t run the risk of you using Kyouka Suigetsu on me. I don’t know if Total Hypnosis extends into the infrared, but I am betting that my perception in that realm exceeds your ability to convincingly manipulate it.”

Aizen grabbed for his sword, when scorching heat blossomed in his chest at the base of his sternum.

“Oh, wonderful, it did work!” Momo exclaimed.

“Bakudo 81! Dankuu!” Aizen wheezed out, the translucent ward snapping into place in front of him.

“Sorry, Captain! Dankuu works by creating a thin vacuum field which disrupts the casting line of most kidou spells. But you see, my power is radiative in nature, it works just fine through a vacuum.”

“Hrnnngh,” Aizen managed as he doubled over in pain, scrabbling at the skin of his mid-section. He was dimly aware of Momo moving toward him with the graceful and yet entirely unnatural locomotion of a bunraku puppet. “I can heat any sort of rock up to and over its melting point,” Momo explained, although Aizen was hardly in the mood to pay attention. “I knew the Hougyoku was crystalline in structure, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to affect it.”

“No…” Aizen grunted. “A simple being like you would never be able to destroy it.”

Momo laughed, a pretty, silvery sound. “Oh, Captain Aizen, even though I can’t hear you, I bet I can guess what you just said! ‘An ordinary person, even in bankai, couldn’t destroy the Hougyoku.’ I can see your surprise through your changes in body temperature, you know. I can see how impressed you are with me right now, but I can’t help it, I just have to ruin the magic and tell you my clever little trick! I’m not going to destroy the Hougyoku, I’m just trying to get it out of you so you can think clearly again. You’re right, of course, it wouldn’t let me do this if I intended to destroy it, but it doesn’t mind being burned out of a host. You had planned to burn it out Ms. Kuchiki with the Soukyoku. Renji told me so. It’s bad, Captain, can’t you see? It makes you do horrible things! I’m sure that killing the Central 46 was Captain Ichimaru’s doing, but you tried to kill Miss Kuchiki. You tried to kill Renji, too, and that poor ryouka boy. I forgive you for trying to kill me, because that’s how I knew you were being controlled. My captain would never hurt me. And that’s how I was able to dig down deep into myself and find my bankai. I mean…Renji got bankai. I can do anything Renji can do. At first they were watching me very closely, but you were the one who taught me to tell when I’m being observed, how to be so boring that your watchers lose interest in you. I’ll tell you all about it later, when this is all over.”

She crouched next to him, heat pouring off of her, the sharp smell of hot metal filling his nose.

“I’ve been trying to forgive you for pretending to be dead and scaring me, but that’s been a little harder. I’m sure I’ll be able to eventually, although…well an apology couldn’t hurt.”

The pain was blinding, overwhelming. His vision was beginning to blacken around the edges. Even if he could bring to mind any kidou that could defend against this, there was no way he could cast it in this state. Desperately, he reached out to the Hougyoku itself. I know you have begun to awake! he begged. I am the one who will bring you the greatest glory! You must come to my aid!

The Hougoku remained silent.

“Don’t worry, Captain! I’ve thought all of this out! By heating the Hougyoku directly it will burn away the minimum amount of your flesh necessary to loosen itself. I promise I will heal you up promptly as soon as it’s free!”

Things went a bit black after that, and when he came to again, there was something hard and heavy covering the lower part of his face, and he couldn’t move his hands or feet.

Momo was leaning over him. For the first time, he was able to get a good look at her. Her face was off-putting, too stiff, too constructed, like a Noh mask. Maybe he hadn’t noticed before, or maybe she had just grown them, but a trio of prongs protruded from her head, likes horns or, perhaps a crown. Two more sprouted from each shoulder. Seven, of course, a seven-branched sword. Her body was mostly black, with shifting veins of violet and ruby beneath her gently drifting tectonic plates. Maybe it had been reflections from Yamamoto’s flames earlier, but he had sworn that she had been more…reddish orange…before…

“Oh, good, you’re awake now!” She sighed. “I’m sorry Captain, but I wasn’t able to plan for everything. I thought that if I held myself to a high enough internal temperature, I could make an internal pocket of atomized air that could safely hold the Hougyoku. You know. Without it trying to merge with me.”

Aizen tried to grab at his chest, at the place where the Hougyoku had nestled inside him, a star, gently dreaming. But he couldn’t move his arms. A finger of rock held his tongue to the floor of his mouth, cuffs of it bound the kidou vents in his wrists, pins of it stabbed the pressure points in his back that paralyzed his soul chain.

“I think it will be okay, though,” Momo went on, whether to reassure him or herself was unclear. “The Hougyoku seems very happy. I don’t have a heart in this form, so it has nothing to compete with. It says it’s going to grant my greatest wish. But my greatest wish, Captain Aizen, is just for you to come home again, safe and sound and for everyone to understand that none of this was your fault! So don’t you worry about anything, Captain. I’ll take care of it all.”

[outofsstyles]

a/n: This is by far THE MOST requested fic I’ve ever had and (a year later) it’s finally here!! First of all, sorry that it took me so long but when I first wrote Wildest Dreams I never intended on it having a follow up, but the amount of love I got from it was so overwhelming that I decided to put this together for you all :) I’m not gonna lie, I’m a bit nervous about it, considering the amount of requests I’ve had the past year, I know there’s gonna be a lot of expectations and I wanted to do something a bit different so it’s not too predictable lol. So yeah, as always, feedback is very much welcomed!! If you enjoy please reblog it to support my writing, it would mean the world to me <3

word count: 13.7k

warnings: none!

concept: It’s Evan’s birthday and he decides to do something a bit different.

Wildest Dreams: read part 1 here :)

                                               ~*~ ~*~  ~*~

In the last two steps, you have to use your leg to support the box as it starts to slowly slip down your fingers. This serves as a reminder to start exercising again now that the midterm is over — meaning that you should finally give in to Nia’s pleas to join her in the free week of Pilates classes she got when signing in at the gym, “Exercising is one of the best ways to relieve stress!” She would argue, to which you’d simply reply with something along the lines of: “So does binging another trashy reality tv show!”

Thankfully, no one seems to notice your struggle, sparing you the embarrassment of listening to their teases due to your difficulty in carrying one of the smallest boxes of the bunch. Nate barely glances at you once you finally reach the car to hand him the box, only shooting the longest smile you’ve ever seen coming from him—which somehow still manages to be probably the quickest when compared to any other regular person. His girlfriend, who stands with hands on her hips, entirely held his attention. Nia’s purple strands of hair poke out of her half-bun in every direction and her bottom lip has found its permanent spot between her teeth as her eyes fixate on the vehicle in front of her, barely blinking.

“Everything alright, Ni?” You prompt, trying to even your breathing. “Forgot something? There’s still time to check.”

“It’s not that.” She mumbles, shaking her head to break out of her thoughts. “My keyboard doesn’t fit.” Nia nods at the instrument lying on top of the car’s ceiling.

“Oh,” You say, frowning your lips as you take in her stressed figure. Clearing your throat, you attempt to blurt out a joke, “Maybe it’s a sign you shouldn’t move it and stay right here in our little flat with creaky doors.”

She breathes out a sharp laugh, finally looking at you as she drops her arms. “Don’t start.” She warns, “You promised; no crying today.”

“Don’t worry, I’m good at holding back the tears.” You give her a soft smile, pulling her smaller frame into a hug. The sudden reality of your best friend and roommate leaving you hitting you at once. “Gonna miss you, Ni.”

You feel her sigh into your shoulder, arms circling around your middle. “I’ll be ten minutes away.”

“Not the same.”

“I know.”

The two of you sway in silence for a moment, and you watch from over her shoulder as Nate attempts to awkwardly pick up the keyboard, almost dropping it on the sidewalk in the process. He grunts, the instrument tilting in his arms, and you giggle as you hear Nia sigh once more. Tightening your arms around her, you release each other as she turns to check on her boyfriend who holds the instrument as you would a newborn — except this one is half his size and hard as a wood plank.

He glances between the both of you, helpless. “Uh, where does this go?”

“You can put it with the other big boxes upstairs, babe. We’ll take them Sunday.” Nia says, moving to close the trunk. She looks back at him, calling back in a sing-like voice before he disappears inside, “Thank you!”

You lean back against the car, a playful pout plumping your bottom lip. “Am I only seeing you again on Sunday, then?”

“Nope, I’ll pick you up for Evan’s birthday — did you forget about it already?”

You have. “Of course not. It’s on — tomorrow.”

“Is it tomorrow?” Nia gasps, eyes widening. “Holy shit, tomorrow’s Friday.”

You nod slowly, just as shocked as she is about how quickly the past couple of weeks have flown by. Between piles of book reports and stress-tear-stained essays during midterms week, you also had to find some time to help Nia with packing boxes while searching for a new roommate for yourself. If you managed a five-hour sleep on these past days, that would have been a well-rested night. So you can’t really blame yourself for forgetting about Evan’s birthday when Nia herself had it slipping through her mind.

“This is an emergency,” Nia says, eyes focusing on a point beyond you and, you feel like, if you listen close enough, you can hear the engines inside her head working. “I’ll have come here earlier so you can help me with my outfit.”

You chuckle. “What even is the theme this year?”

“He didn’t tell me,” Nia says in a huff. “But, on the bright side, I don’t think this year he’ll do anything too crazy — he was too busy these last couple months with that short film I told you about, remember?”

“Evan doing something low key? That’s a first.” You raise your eyebrows, skeptical.

“I mean, I don’t know. I’m just guessing.” Nia shrugs, picking at her nails. “I’m only saying because he mentioned once he was only inviting, like, twenty people.”

Now, this is a surprise. “I’m glad I made the cut, then.”

It’s not a secret to anyone who’s ever had any kind of interaction with Evan that he’s fond of the dramatics of life — his bright-colored outfits with mismatching patterns being the first example that comes to mind — and that reflects as well in his events. Especially when it comes to his birthday.

To be fair, you’ve only actually been to two birthday parties of his so far — considering the invitation usually finds you because he’s close to Nia and sees you as some sort of extension of her. Nevertheless, they were both impactful enough that left a clear impression of how much he enjoys celebrating himself. Last year in particular you remember quite well. It was what he called “Evaney” themed; being a mix of himself and his favorite artist: Britney Spears. And, while you and Nia showed up as one of at least fifteen different variations of the Baby One More Time schoolgirl outfit, Evan pulled a perfect match of the Oops! I Did It Again red bodysuit that he got one of his fashion student friends to tailor for him, as well as freshly dyed beach blonde hair to suit it. He even went as far as photoshopping pictures of himself on Britney’s body and had them printed on posters hung on every single room of the house. There were even custom-made cups and napkins with them — two of them that Nia stole at the end of the party still sit somewhere in your kitchen to this day.

Another particular thing you remember quite clearly was that there were enough people crowded in his living room to fill up your entire apartment, as you recall. And that’s about how a typical event at his home is like — even on his friendsmas dinner there were much more than just twenty people eating turkey out of disposable hot pink plates. So, Nia’s information leaves you wondering what he could have in mind for tomorrow with such a limited list of people.

Before you can voice your wonders to her, though, Nate pushes through the entrance door again. You can tell he, much like you minutes ago, is trying to cover his heavy breathing. “I left it on top of those big boxes with a bunch of books in ‘em.”

“Brilliant! Thank you, baby.” Nia grins, wrapping an arm around his middle. “By the way, we just remembered Evan’s birthday’s tomorrow.”

“Is it tomorrow already?” Nate asks, and you hold back a giggle at the way his face scrunches in discontent. He hates going to Evan’s to a point that’s nearly comical. “Fuck’s sake.”

“And I think I’ll come here early so we can get ready together.” Nia nods towards you.

Nate grunts. “Do I have to go this time?” 

“Of course, darling.” She rises to her tiptoes to pinch his cheek, to which he brushes it off.

Nate looks at you, and you only send him a tight smile in solidarity. The two of you share similar experiences with Evan, considering the only reason either of you even gets invited is that because you’re close to Nia, and she’s close to Evan. Although you like Evan, even if you’re not that close with him, you can still put on your social mask for a couple of hours and have fun at his parties. Nate, on the other hand, is likely the least sociable person you’ve ever met, and it’s obvious how uncomfortable he gets every time. 

Nia seems to sense how tense he gets as well, because she steps in front of her boyfriend, finding his eyes with her doe-like ones. “I mean, if you don’t want to, then you don’t have to.”

He sighs, “Of course I’ll go with you.” He looks up at you. “Maybe this time we can actually count how many faces of his we can see from the couch.”

This time you don’t hold back a giggle. “I have a feeling we’ll have an easier time this year.”

“Hope so.” Nate taps on Nia’s back. "Let's go, then? Is everything you need in the trunk?”

“Yup.” She answers, circling the car and opening the door to the passenger’s side. Before entering, she gives you one last look. “Do you want me to bring anything for you tomorrow?”

“I’m good.”

“‘kay!” She enters, closing the door behind her in a click and leaning over Nate to wave at you from his window. “See you tomorrow! Don’t cry too hard tonight!”

“I won’t!” You wave back.

Watching as the car pulls back, before driving away and disappearing around the corner, there’s a light breeze that raises goosebumps on the exposed skin of your arms. You cross them under your chest, leaning back into the wall of your building, not quite ready to go back to your empty home yet. The seconds blend into minutes and you stand there The promise you made to Nia not even a minute ago already pooling in your eye, knowing you wouldn’t be able to keep it anyway, you let it tickle its way down your cheek.

A rougher gust of wind hits you and, this time, you turn to go inside.

                                              ~*~ ~*~  ~*~

The days are still not long enough so that the sun can shine proudly at seven in the afternoon, but as spring just about rounds the corner there’s still a golden glow as the rays provide one last warmth before disappearing on the horizon. And that’s how the sky greets you once you step out of your building to make your way towards Evan’s house for his birthday.

As planned, Nia arrived at yours with plenty of time so the two of you could help each other get ready, a bag filled with clothes she’s just taken to Nate’s yesterday under her arm for you to help her choose. “I’m thinking something monochromatic tonight.” She said as she walked in, making you jump in your spot on the couch as you didn’t hear her using the spare key. “I’m just not sure what color.” 

She ended up choosing red. There was an old box of red hair dye you found lost inside the bathroom cabinet after Nia left — along with two different brands of shaving cream, although those belonging to Nate — and, after presenting it to her, she decided to go all for it, taking it as a sign. Nate showed up just about an hour after his girlfriend, still in his work attire and barely batting an eye at Nia’s new hair color as she blew dried it. The only comment leaving his mouth being, “You look like a tomato,” before kissing her forehead and excusing himself for a nap while the two of you finished getting ready.

What neither of you realized was that Nia’s last-minute decision took more time than you predicted, giving you barely enough time to get dressed. To her, that wasn’t exactly an inconvenience considering she had an outfit ready to match any color she wanted — in this case, was a red-dyed denim two-piece. and a matching jacket that ended up discarded after she noticed it covered her newest shoulder tattoo (though you tried to argue she could just have Nate carry it so she could wear it considering she eventually would get cold at some point). To you, however, was more of a stressful task, seeing you hadn’t taken in mind to think of an outfit beforehand. So you ended up just going with the safest option that didn’t give you a lot of room to overthink, choosing to finish your makeup on the way so Evan wouldn’t have any of your heads on a plate for being late.

You’ve found that applying mascara on a moving vehicle is not the easiest task, as Nia holds your elbow to help you keep steady while talking nonstop with the driver about a topic you stopped paying any mind to about ten minutes ago.

“I’m loving our black and red moment, by the way.” She turns to you, loosening her hold as you finish the last coat. “You look like one of those hot businesswomen with your teenage daughter who likes to dress like an animated character.”

You laugh at her comparison, only now noticing the discrepancy between both your outfits. Without even realizing it, you also ended up going for the monochromatic look. Except unlike Nia’s, yours completely lacks any color. “That’s actually the best comparison you could make.”

“I know — You can take a left right here — Here, I have lip gloss.” Nia fetches a small tube from her jacket (that she ended up taking, after all), presenting it to you.

“Do you not have lipstick?”

“Are you not planning on smudging it later?” Nia wiggles her eyebrows, teasing. The hint behind her words makes you roll your eyes, snatching the lip gloss from her hand without bothering to give her an answer. There was about a month or so, just before winter rolled around, that Nia felt as if she had a mission to get you with someone. You suspect, knowing too well how her mind works, that she must’ve felt some sort of guilt for what happened during her film project last year. It was clear that her attempts came from a place of good heart, but this doesn’t mean that it made them any less annoying. However, after her plans to move in with Nate became more concrete, her cupid persona seemed to have disappeared, or so you’d thought. But now that there’s nothing else filling her mind anymore, it looks like she’s back at it, and you can’t help but snort. “What? I’m just saying-”

“You say a lot of things, most of them are incorrect.” You say, “I’m not smudging anything tonight. Not on a party with twenty people, for fuck’s sake.”

“Don’t say that before — right there! The big house on the corner!” Nia leans over the console, signaling to the driver where to park. It’s so sudden that you notice how he jumps just slightly from his seat, chuckling to yourself at how Nate snaps his eyes at her. 

The front of Evan’s Victorian home is unusually quiet once you step out onto the sidewalk. So much so that, if it weren’t for the lined cars parked along the street and filling his driveway, you would’ve thought you’d typed in the wrong address. 

The discrepancy is clear to you when compared to other gatherings Evan hosts in his house, but especially for his birthday. Last year, you could hear Toxic blasting from his place from the moment you turned on his street, and a small crowd gathered on his front yard — most of which you recall being comprised of people plastered out of their minds, particularly one semi-naked man who was using one lamppost as a strip pole while swinging a stuffed snake

That’s more or less the standard one could expect when invited to a party at Evan’s. So, to find the street as silent as any regular day is, to an understanding, odd. 

“Are you sure it’s the right date?” You ask as the metal creak of the front gate mends with gushes of wind whistling through the air.

“Yup,” Nia says simply, walking in front of you. “You can hear the music inside, shush.”

You come quiet, listening in, and, surely, you can hear the faint keys of a piano coming from the other side of the stone walls, but it only brings up more questions to your head than answers. Evan seems like the last person on Earth who would listen to classical music. Deciding not to voice your question this time, you follow short behind Nia, kicking some loose stones on the gravel path leading to the front door.

There’s no need for more than a single knock for it to open almost immediately, revealing a lace-clad Evan downing the last bits of his wine. Without the barrier you can hear the music more clearly, the keys of the piano meshing in a peculiar way, not like anything you’ve ever heard in a classical song— at least not ten years ago when you tried to learn piano for a year before giving up.

“Look at my favorite people!” Evan says with his purple-stained lips, pulling Nia for a hug with the arm that’s not holding the door open while pointing at a spot behind her. “Did you greet Jonathan when you passed him? It’s his birthday as well.”

He points to a spot where a gnome statue sits in the dry grass, face painted in clown makeup. Nate’s voice comes from behind you, “Christ.” 

“Nate!” Evan chirps, going straight for the man standing with a sharp smile and throwing his arms around him. “You know you’re my favorite grumpy, right?”

Nate only taps on the shorter man’s back, quickly moving to Nia’s side as soon as he’s free from the embrace. With that, Evan turns to you, hands finding your elbows as he takes you in, “And what have you been up to, bug? It's been ages.”

“You know… Books and… Stuff.” You chuckle, brushing it off. “Happy birthday, E.”

“Thank you!” He claps his hands together. “Now, c’mon, let’s get all of you started.”

Following him inside, you’re met with a glittery box standing right next to the entrance; rolls of tape seal it shut, and a hand-sized hole has been cut on top of the lid. You try to peek at what could be inside, but strings of colorful crepe paper are stuck to the hole, making it harder to know its contents.

Evan picks up the box, holding it to his side. “So, I need each of you to grab a piece of paper inside the box. There will be a number in it but for now just hold on, drink, and chat while waiting for further instructions.” His voice lowers at the end to give his words more of a mystery behind them.

Nate tenses in front of you and you have to keep yourself from chuckling at his desperate gaze moving from the box to his girlfriend as he moves uncomfortably on his feet. Nia, however, only gives him a pat on his back, barely looking at her boyfriend as she does a little dance in excitement. “Oh, this feels fun.” She says, quickly reaching her hand inside the box and retrieving a piece of paper. “Mysterious, but fun. What do you have in mind, sir?”

“Nothing too crazy this year, darling, you can relax — We’re all too tired.” He moves the box towards Nate, who reluctantly reaches inside. “Just something to mesh people together that won’t give me too much of a headache to clean tomorrow.”

“Smart.” You say, peeking at the box as it’s presented to you before reaching for a paper inside, quickly reading the number eight written on it before folding the piece between your fingers.

“Nice! As always, drinks in the kitchen. We’re starting in ten minutes!” Evan claps, hushing the three of you further inside.

Surprisingly, this time around there are no posters of his face in sight as you follow Nia and Nate to the kitchen. There’s a mild mash of voices coming from the living room — where the sound of the piano is the loudest, and you wonder if he got an actual piano or if it’s just a Bluetooth speaker —, but it’s not nearly as loud as you’re used to from past times. The lighting has been lowered to a buttery yellow; you realize once you enter the kitchen that feels too bright to your eyes in contrast to the hallway.

“Is there any alcohol?” You wonder out loud, and Nia glances at you with her eyebrows shot towards her hairline. “What? I’m just asking ‘cause everyone is unusually quiet.”

“There’s wine and — what are these guys right here?” She picks up one out of four plastic jars sitting on the kitchen island, reading the label stuck to it out loud, “Strawberry Mary — ooh, this looks fun.”

You reach for the other three to check their contents, but all have names similar to the one Nia now fills her cup with — fruity, yet mysterious: Lana Banana, Jenny Berry Mix, and Pineapple Suzan. “Did he come up with these?” You chuckle, reaching for the berry mix.

“It was probably Adam,” Nia says, and you frown. “That bartender guy? The one with the pet snakes.”

“Oh, yeah. I know him.”

The room comes quiet as you serve yourself, and only after you glance up you realize a tension lingering in the air. Nate stands awkwardly in a corner, eyes fixed on Nia as he moves his head around subtly. Glancing between the two of them, you notice how their expressions change as they keep their eyes locked, not a single word being uttered out loud. To you, it almost feels as if they are reading each other’s minds, and the heat of their silent argument becoming clear once Nate huffs, shaking his head. 

Nia clears her throat, seemingly uncomfortable, shooting you a knowing look. It’s only when she gives you a toothless smile that you realize the silent question behind it. “Uhm, I’m going to check if there are any sweets outside.”

Beelining towards the doorway, you quickly make your way out of the room. The hallway is empty and, from where you stand awkwardly in the middle of it, you can tell Evan’s left his spot by the front door, meaning he’s likely gone to the living room where the rest of the guests are. You can hear them chatting, although like you previously pointed, the voices are much more controlled than what you’re used to, and that makes you oddly flustered by the thought of walking in alone. 

Considering the limited amount of invitations this year, the chances of you knowing anyone are slim and, to add to your sudden nervousness, most of the people from Evan’s closest circle of friends are — like himself — inexplicably intimidating. This is mostly because it feels like this unspoken competition that everyone has settled with each other, to subtly brag about your success whilst simultaneously pretending to be impressed about the other’s accomplishments. And for you specifically, considering you’re not part of this artist clique that they lock themselves into, it feels particularly tiresome to be part of those interactions. 

So, you opt to wait for Nia, pretending to admire one peculiar painting hanging on a wall opposite to where the doorway leading to the living room stands. Every so often, you catch yourself glancing over your shoulder one way or the other, either towards the kitchen to check if your friends are joining you, or to the doorway where the rest of the guests are in. At one point, the voices get louder, joining in a laugh before tangling together in a mess of noise you can’t make sense of. It’s after a minute that you hear footsteps coming from the living room, making you freeze on your spot, carefully turning your back to whoever’s about to catch you avoiding the party, and focusing on the piece you’ve been staring at for the past five minutes.

The painting you first thought was just random strokes of earth tones abstractly put together you now realize it’s a man and it doesn’t take you more than a second or two to recognize Evan’s side profile in a peach shade. Your hand claps on top of your mouth as you fight the urge to laugh. The sound comes out muffled, but it stops as you hear the footsteps falter as they turn into the hallway. Keeping you back to them, you listen as the wooden floor creaks as whoever was approaching makes their way back. You peek to catch sight of who it might be, but all you make out is the shadow of mustard corduroys turning the corner.

As if on cue, Nia and Nate finally appear from the kitchen, thankfully neither appearing to be sour after the talk in the kitchen. 

“Finally.” You say, still feeling giggly from your finding. “Nate, you have to check this-”

“Okay! Let’s start, then. Do we have everyone in the living room?” Evan’s voice interrupts you as he calls out. Nia guides you along with her to the living room. And, as soon as the three of you enter, Evan nods at you, before continuing, “Now that all the bunnies are trapped, we shall begin!” He laughs, clapping his hands together before motioning vaguely to everyone. “Before I explain what I have planned, I want to pair you all. So, I’ll call out the numbers that each of you picked when you arrived, so everyone can find their pair.”

You frown, confuse yet curious about what Evan’s up to as he calls out the numbers. Now that you stop to glance around the room, you note how there are more people than you’d expected. It’s still not nearly as many as previous parties of his, but it still feels like the room is nicely filled, maybe just a dozen people above twenty. And amongst them, there’s quite a few you recognize as they pair up together — like Georgia, the first one to be called, whom you spent a good half of the New Year’s party with, or Taylor, who gets paired with Nia (you remember him particularly from a film festival that Nia had been part of — he produced and directed a short film comparing the second wave of feminism to the wildlife in the Amazon Rainforest, and Nia couldn’t stop complaining about how bad it was for the entire week after). 

It’s when Evan jokes with someone on the other side of the room, however, that you see him.

He’s tucked in a corner, right next to the bookshelves, arms crossed under his chest in a way that makes his tattoos pop out of his biceps, something you notice even standing on the opposite end of the room. His smile is subtle as he watches the scene in front of him, but it’s still enough for a dimple to poke at one side of his face -- it’s barely there, but you’ve seen it up close enough times that you notice those details. His hand holds a drink, but you pay no mind to it because what calls your attention is the mustard corduroy hugging his hips, the same one you watched run from you not only five minutes ago.

He laughs, and you avert your eyes, mouth still hung open. You wonder if anyone will notice if you leave.

But, as though he could read your mind, Evan calls the number written on that sits crumbled inside the pocket of your jacket. “Where are my number eights?”

You step forward and, like a magnet, your eyes glue on Harry as he raises his hand. 

Shaking your head in disbelief, you have to fight against an urge to shut your eyes tightly as the regret of having left your room at all tonight becomes almost overwhelming. All you expected for the night was to forget about book reports and endless essays piled up on your computer, to relax, maybe drink a bit more than you should while watching Evan’s friends dancing with a taxidermy beaver or something of sorts (that was on his friendsmas party two years ago). Instead, here you are on what feels like the first day of class dynamic your teacher has imposed to make everyone interact with each other. And, suddenly, the long pages of (insert boring book) don’t seem that bad right now.

And to make matters worse (because the universe just likes to add a little more spice to your tragedies) of all people standing in this living room you just had to be paired with the one with whom you had a fling-like relationship six months ago.

It’s awkward before he even approaches you, the tension making you fidget in your spot anxiously, barely being able to shoot a tight smile his way. 

The last time you saw Harry was through the rearview mirror of a car, standing on the sidewalk like an abandoned puppy with his tail between his legs. Though you admit you let your dramatics take away when you turned away from him to leave, the feeling behind it was genuine. You were upset. He had led you on, after all, made you think he wanted to have something more just to ignore you for months and, later, appear with a redhead under his arms and call her his girlfriend. So, yes, it wasn’t the best note to leave on.

But despite how you left the last encounter, the spark of nervousness that shoots through your stomachs right now doesn’t come exactly because of his presence, but more so for the awkward nature of this encounter. At the time it happened, you avoided any activity that had the slight possibility of seeing him again like the plague. You were hurt, and you were mad — though the second part was more directed at yourself than at him. But that was six months ago. After all, as much as you felt enchanted by him and as much as those two weeks you spent together were nice, that’s all that it was: two weeks. Yes, you were sad and, yes, maybe you shed a tear or two while watching Love, Rosie with Nia afterward, but that passed as quickly as it came.

That is, until now.

“Your hair is shorter” This Is all you blurt out when he stands in front of you again.

“It is, yeah.” Harry runs his hand through his hair. The strands that last time you saw him, curled around his jawline, now peek just under his earlobe. “Did it myself, actually.”

“Really?” You take a big gulp from your drink, gaze going anywhere but meeting his own. “Found yourself another talent.”

“Another?” You can hear the smirk in his voice.

“I mean, besides acting.” You grin, holding the cup to your lips and sparing him a glance. “Suppose after your debut you’ve gotten yourself busy with casting calls”

“Of course” Harry laughs. Now that you’re closer you have a better look at his dimples as they pop out, as well as the constellation of freckles hugging his nose, and the mole right under his lips. You avert your eyes again. “I’m set to be the next Bond, in fact”

“Oh, wow.” You raise your brows, grinning at the brim of your cup. “I can see it.”

He turns to you, “Can you?” You peek at him. "Why is that?”

This is exactly what you were afraid of all those months ago after last seeing him. The entire reason you ran from any possibility of seeing him again afterward. You can still remember clearly how much of a flirt he is, even when he doesn’t mean to be. It’s not a secret that Harry’s a charming man. His words are like honey, and when he uses them just right, you know is enough to have you melting. And it doesn’t help how well you seem to click together. Even now, you still feel it by your impulse to flirt back, to look him in the eye, and get just close enough to feel the scent of his cologne. Do all that just to turn away in the last second. Tease him the same way he did you. But you don’t do any of that, of course, because you’re as petty as you are bitter. So, instead, you click your tongue. “Don’t get too comfortable, Harry, bet your girlfriend wouldn’t be happy about that.”

He chuckles. “What girlfriend?”

This time you turn fully at him, brows shooting up not in defiance, but surprise. “Yikes.” You say before you’re able to hold back.

“Yikes.” Harry still holds a smile when he repeats it, head falling as he lets out a — nervous? — laugh.

A question pops into your head. One that lingered in your mind for a good while now, but comes back a bit louder now that you have the information that his relationship was short-lasted after all. It’s a short one, but one that requires a long answer, you suppose. What happened? You think. But you don’t dare to voice it, you don’t want to have this conversation with him. Whatever the explanation is, it’s not going to change anything. So you just avert your gaze back to Evan, who now calls for everyone’s attention again.

“I know you’re all dying to know what this is all about. So, I’m going to explain it all.” And with that introduction, Evan dives into a monologue you only pay half mind to. It’s hard for you to focus on the words rapidly leaving his mouth as you can feel Harry glancing at you every so often from the corner of your eye. You listen in to Evan describing himself as a feisty kid and mention his love for drama, and then you feel the ghost of Harry’s arm bumping against yours as he sways on his feet. You try to pay attention to the story being told of the events leading up to this birthday party, and then you have to hold yourself back from meeting Harry’s eyes once you feel them at the side of your face once again. He makes a comment under his breath that you don’t quite catch, and you’re about to question him before Evan’s voice comes in an even higher pitch. “I wanted tonight to be exactly that: chaotic. I didn’t want anything to quite make sense, and I didn’t want to think much, if I’m honest, last year of film school is taking a big chunk of my functioning neurons and m’dad’s whiskey collection is taking the rest of them.”

There’s a collective laugh that takes place and, once again, Harry’s eyes peeking at you. “Everyone can relax, it’s not one of those murder mystery parties, as I’ve heard some people guess — for fuck’s sake as if I have the time and patience to plan something like that.” He says with a sip directly from a wine bottle you just now realize he’s been holding. “It’s a scavenger hunt, you have a partner and an envelope with clues. Each pair will find something related to moi and after it’s all done, we’ll eat burgers and talk about me for the rest of the night.” 

“Sounds easy enough.” Harry mumbles.

Evan claps his free hand on his wrist, hushing everyone. “So off you go, c’mon! I’ll be hungry in an hour.”

“This is gonna be…” You start. “Interesting.”

“Interesting is a great word to describe it.”

“Well, let’s try to do this as quickly as possible, then.” 

 The side of his lips quirks up. “On a rush?”

“This is not exactly a comfortable position to be. I think you get it.” You say, fidgeting on your feet. You wait for a second for him to say something so you can start the activity, but he doesn’t and you realize there’s a piece missing. “Do you have an envelope?”

Harry nods, reaching for his pocket where the envelope sits folded in half. He swiftly opens it, taking out a card.

 “Well?” You prompt, “Read us the first clue, Bond.”

There’s a smile that Harry fights against at the nickname and you’re not sure due to the dim light, but you think there’s a hint of a rosy tone on the apple of his cheeks. “An activity that grows lives and ruins manicures.” He reads out loud, pausing for a moment before laughing to himself. “I know this one.”

“Grows lives?” You frown. “As in, a pregnancy?”

Harry shakes his head, leading the way towards the corridor. “As in, gardening.”

“That’s a very weird way to put it.” You say, following him. “Does he garden?”

He walks into the kitchen, greeting two people you don’t recognize who are searching for something — their clue, you assume — inside the cabinets. “No, but his sister does. There’s a greenhouse in the back.”

You simply hum in response, muttering a quick thank you as he opens the door for you that leads to the back garden. The greenhouse is not unfamiliar to you from the outside, there have been a good amount of summer gatherings in his back garden for you to know of its existence. But you’ve thought nothing more about it. If you’re honest, you never really paid much attention to it. If anything, you assumed he used it as storage at most, never taking Evan as someone who enjoyed gardening. Though now you know you were right, you've also learned that his sister lives with him and you wonder why he’s never mentioned it before.

The curiosity inside of you wants to question Harry about it, to ask him what else he knows you don’t. When you think about it, there’s a lot you want to ask him about. Not just regarding Evan, but also regarding him. You wonder what he’s been up in the past six months if he ended up adopting the kitten he’d told you about back when you were still filming or if he read any of the book recommendations you wrote on his notes app one particular night the two of you chatted for longer than the moon could hold itself up in the sky. The part of you that begs for you to say something on the short walk is so strong you have to physically bite your tongue to be able to hold back.

You don’t have to hold for long, however, as Harry takes it upon himself to say, “So,” He starts, clearing his throat, “How- uh- how are you doing?”

Somehow, his words click something inside of your mind. They remind you of why you shouldn’t let that curious part of you win. The sole purpose of it not falling for his charm. You shake your head, “We’re not doing this.”

“Doing what?” He frowns, his steps faltering for a second.

“Small talk.” You answer, focused on your goal. “We’ll just solve this thing as quickly as possible so I can go back home and finish my Euphoria marathon.”

“Right.” Harry nods once, and you can’t help but notice the way his lips quirk down, the frown not leaving his face. You can’t lie and say it doesn’t make your stomach drop the slightest bit to see you’ve upset him, but you have to remind yourself how much he’s upset you, too. 

It’s protecting yourself, you think. After tonight, you don’t have to see him ever again.

Inside the greenhouse, you’re greeted with a mix of scents you’re not prepared for before stepping in. The space is compact, with a single corridor narrowed with garden beds on each side. Dozens of branches and leaves tickle you as you walk in, most of them belonging to different flowers that, despite the chilly weather that still lingers outside, are already blooming. It’s a blend of colors, bright reds, and ocean blues, soft purple petals kissing pink and yellow ones. 

“We should look for gloves.” Harry’s voice startles you, chuckling as you jump a bit.

“Huh?” 

“Gloves.” He says. “I think whatever we’re looking for has to do with the gloves, ‘cause he mentioned manicure.”

“That makes sense.” You look around. Many gardening tools are piling under the tables that hold the garden beds; watering cans and empty pots. You look between bags of fertilizer and drawers filled with shovels. There’s so much stuff to look through that, at one point, you sit back on your calves, glancing around, lost.

You hear Harry leafing through as you’re doing, feeling his legs brushing against your back as he passes by and you stop, watching him from your spot on the floor. He’s got a concentrated look on his face, bottom lip worried between his teeth as he scans through the walls before he opens another drawer. That’s when his gaze falls, catching yours. You quickly turn away, pretending to go through another pile of empty pots and blocking the sound of a chuckle coming from his spot.

For a moment, the only sound in the room is the clicking of ceramics and the opening and closing of wooden drawers. That is until you hear from Harry, “A-ha!”

You look up again, seeing him move to the back where few pairs of gloves hang on the wall — so obvious yet still hidden between raincoats and summer hats. “Right under our noses.” You say, getting up.

Harry searches inside the gloves, tongue trapped between his teeth. “Bingo!” He says, pulling out two tiny bottles from inside one pair.

“What is it?”

“Liquor.” He grins, peeking at you from under his lashes before ripping a piece of paper attached to it. “It says ‘one for each, now get to clue number two.’” He holds up one bottle, offering it to you, to which you take it. “It’s chocolate flavored.”

“Of course it would be a drinking game.” You open it, feeling the artificial chocolate scent braid with the alcohol. “Christ.”

“Don’t smell it, or it’ll be worse,” Harry says, downing his with one quick tilt of his head. “‘S not that bad, actually.”

You mimic his action, letting the drink swiftly burn its way down your throat. Unlike Harry, you can’t help but scrunch your nose at the taste. “You’re a fucking liar.”

Harry only giggles in response, taking the empty bottle from you and placing it back inside the gloves, along with his own. 

And then again, silence. You turn to the flowers to find some comfort.

A family of tulips glances back at you, their petals in a full red, it’s the kind of beauty you’re scared to ruin if you touch, so you just rest your hand on the wood. “They’re beautiful.” You only notice you say it out loud when Harry hums back in agreement.

“They are.” He says quietly but somehow feels loud by how close he is. “Tulips are my favorites.”

You stop, brows raising incredulously at him. “No, they’re not.”

“What?”

Cursing the universe for playing with you like this, you can’t help but laugh at the situation. “It’s just- they’re my favorites, too.” You look at him. “My nan used to plant them when I was little.”

“That’s sweet.” He says, smiling and you nod. “The red ones represent true love.” He points. “And the purple ones represent royalty.”

You blink at him. “Do you just look up tulip facts in your free time?”

Harry laughs. “Yeah, basically.” He looks down at you, and you can’t help but notice how the greenery around brings out the shade of his eyes. “I worked at a flower shop for a tick.”

“Really?”

He nods. “For eight months. My favorite part was writing on the store board every morning.” His face lights up as he recalls his experience. “I used to write silly stuff like, ‘one day I’d like to meet tulips.’ The old ladies loved it.”

You shake your head, breathing out a laugh. “You’re dangerous.”

“Dangerous? Why’s that?”

Because you’re sweet, you want to answer, because when I think I won’t get charmed by you again, you hit me with tulip puns. Your lip finds its spot between your teeth, you’d be damned to give him the satisfaction of hearing you tell him that, so, instead, you shrug. “Because.” You can tell he wants to dig more by the way his lip twitch up, teasing a smile, but you just nod towards the door before turning away from him and heading out. 

There’s a distinct change of temperature when you step outside, and it’s only when you do that you notice the greenhouse was heated. Thankfully, the night is not too windy as it would get a week or two ago when winter was still insisting on making itself present, but it’s still chilly so that it makes you hug your jacket closer to your body. Harry also notices the difference, as you hear him wince as he steps out from behind you — unlike you, he’s not wearing anything to protect his arms from the cold, which only makes it harder for you to not ogle the tattoos hugging his skin.

“So, what’s next?” You prompt.

Harry reaches for the card again, taking it from its spot on his pocket before reading the second clue. “‘Not feeling too creative to write this one, it’s on the third tree on oak.���”

“I mean, at least we don’t have to think too much on this one.” You say, “Oak Street is the one to the left, right?”

“Yeah.” Harry sighs. “Can’t believe he’s making us go out on the streets.”

You start to make your way back towards the house. “Too tired for a stroll?”

“‘S cold,” Harry says, scrunching his nose. “Here, there’s a side gate.”

He guides you through a gravel path to where the black gate stands, hidden between bushes and branches. Strings of fern hug the bricked fence and the surrounding grass is high enough that it tickles your calves through your tights, making you believe this path has probably been left unused for at least a couple of months now. This information brings out an extra worry for you, as you take a better look at it, noticing how the gate is closed shut to the fence.“Is it open?” You wonder out loud.

“Shit, I don’t think it is.” Harry huffs under his breath. “But, I mean, we could easily jump it.”

You stop, turning to glance at him as the suggestion leaves his lips. He stands there, hands on his hips, examining the gate, tongue poking out as he frowns. After a second, he meets your eyes. “What? It’s not that tall.”

“I suppose.” You say, looking back at the fence that ends just below your shoulder length. It would be easy enough for you to climb it with a boost, however, “I’m wearing a dress.”

“Oh,” Harry scratches the back of his neck. “Let’s just go inside-” He turns back.

“Wait,” You stop him, not sure if it’s the slight amount of alcohol in your system already making you more adventurous, you train your gaze at the gate, analyzing it again, before looking back at him. Squinting your eyes, “You have to close your eyes.”

He laughs, “Are you sure?”

“It’s not that high.” You shrug. “But I need your help.”

“Of course.” He moves next to the brick wall, kneeling before it and nodding towards you. “C’mon, step up.”

Hesitantly, you glance at his thigh stretching his trousers, a sudden wave of insecurity hitting you. “Are you sure you can lift me?”

Harry simply puts his hand out in a silent request for you to hold. “Of course.”

“No peeking.”

He shuts his eyes tightly, chin meeting his chest as he looks down. And then you take his hand, feeling his fingers lock in a firm hold as he helps you use him for support. You hesitate again before using his thigh as a step, “Wait, I’m gonna ruin your trousers.” You worry, but Harry only shakes his head, still keeping it facing the ground, the strands of his hair falling above his eyes in a makeshift blindfold. When he doesn't feel you stepping in still, he encourages you with a squeeze in your hand. 

You attempt to do as quickly as possible with your dress clinging to your legs, tightening your hold to Harry’s hand to step on his thigh. Once you let it go, you can still feel it lingering behind your back as you use your arms to boost yourself up the wall, sitting on it for a moment before jumping to the other side with a huff.

“Can I open them?” You hear Harry’s voice calls from the other side, and you smile, nodding even though he can’t see it.

“Yes!”

And then his face appears as he stands up in a jump, grinning at you. “See? Easy Peasy.”

“I feel like a teen sneaking out.” You say, and you instantly give another meaning to your words as Harry boosts himself up. This time, you certainly don’t hold yourself back from staring at the way his muscles flex at the movement, the tattoos on his arms stretching, and his shirt rolling up. He makes it look so easy, so effortless, barely taking five seconds until he’s jumping in front of you.

“That was fun.” He puffs, patting his trousers lightly.

“So, how are we finding the tree?” You ask, taking a quick glance to where his hands brush on the fabric of his trousers. “Should we read the clue again?”

“I know which one he’s talking about,” Harry says, nodding to the left before beginning his stride in that direction. You follow him, trusting his words as the two of you turn the corner where Evan’s house is located. 

The street in question is much calmer than the one you were just in, with no cars coming or going from the residences — that stand much closer to one another, you notice, giving the whole street more of a narrow feeling to it --, which is not exactly odd, but certainly is a contrast with the main street that Evan’s home faces, that one being more lively with people either coming home or leaving it to enjoy their Friday night. The sudden lack of background noise makes the walk to your destination a tad awkward, as none of you make an effort to strike a conversation. Instead, you resort to silently observing the surrounding area as you walk alongside Harry, noticing how the trees here bend over the sidewalk, their naked branches slowly but surely growing back the leaves they lost months ago — it makes you wonder how beautiful this must look during the peak of springtime, their full branches blending together, making a ceiling of flowers.

“Here.” Harry stops abruptly, making you almost bump into his shoulder, as you were too busy with the scenery you’ve made in your own head. “‘S this one.”

“I thought it said the third one.” You frown, looking back and noticing the way you’ve passed way more than just three.

“This one is the third.” He says, motioning to a small birdhouse stuck to its trunk with a number ‘3’ painted to the front in blue. “It’s a bit of an inside joke,” Harry chuckles to himself. “Now I get why the bastard wanted me to have this card.”

You look closer at the tree, trying to see if there’s something attached to it besides the birdhouse, but there’s nothing. Before you can question it, Harry opens the front of the tiny house, retrieving two tiny bottles from inside of it, similar to the ones you found in the greenhouse.  “Oh, no.” You say, laughing. “Did he just put liquor inside a stranger’s birdhouse?”

Harry shakes his head, “This is not a stranger’s birdhouse.”

“Huh?” You frown, glancing back to the house where you stand in front of, its front completely dark, showing that no one must be at home. You point to it over your shoulder. “Do you know who lives here?”

“Yeah,” He starts, offering you one bottle. “I do.”

Your brows shoot up in surprise, glancing back and forth from the house to the man standing in front of you, an amusing grin growing on his face. “You live here?” You ask, “This is your birdhouse?”

“It is, yeah. In fact, I was the one who built it.” He gives the birdhouse a small pat.

You can’t help but let your mouth hang open for a second. “That’s-” You pause, not sure which word to use. Impressive? Amazing? Hot? “That’s nice.”

Harry smiles, and the two of you stand there for a moment, admiring his work in silence. You suck your bottom lip in, keeping yourself from inquiring further. 

Being presented with how little you know about Harry only peaks at your curiosity at what had happened last year in your brief experience with him. When you were with him it felt as if you’d known him for months rather than weeks, but looking back at it now, you wonder if your infatuation fooled you into thinking the two of you were close. Maybe that’s why you were so upset at the premiere after all because all that did was prove to you how much you didn’t know him at all. No matter how many sleepless nights you spent together sharing bits of your lives, it wasn’t enough for you to get to know him.

It’s only when a car turns into the street that you break away from your thoughts, looking up at him and clearing your throat. “We should take this back to Evan’s.” You say. “I’m not sure how it would look from an outsider’s point of view to see us downing these tiny bottles in the middle of the street.”

“You’re right,” Harry says. “Should we read the last clue while we’re at it?”

“Sure, yeah.”

He reaches for the card inside his pocket, presenting it to you. “You do the honors this time.”

You take the card, brushing your thumb over the words before stopping for a second to read them out loud, “You’ll find your prize behind the words of buried legends.” You snort. “That’s so corny.”

“Words of buried legends,” Harry repeats, letting out a hum. “Bet he was feeling quite poetic when he wrote this one.”

“Maybe because it has to do with poems.” You peek at him, a slight raise to your eyebrow. “‘Words of buried legends’? like dead poets and stuff?” Upon reading it again to make sure, you mumble, “He really made this card especially for you, huh?”

“Makes sense.” Harry agrees before nudging you playfully with his arm. “Look at you with your literary mind!”

“Could’ve used some better wording but I’ll let it pass.” You giggle, shrugging as you hand him back the card. As you do so, you notice there’s something written on the other side. “What’s in the back?”

Harry’s brows meet. “Huh?”

“In the back of the card, something’s written on it.” You nod towards his hand as he’s about to pocket the card again. 

Harry turns it around, reading it with a chuckle. “Ice breakers.”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” Your mouth drops open in amusement. “Well? Go on, then. Break the ice.”

Harry makes a show of clearing his throat before reading the question as an announcement, “What celebrity do you think you could pull on your best day?”

“Is this the actual question?” You squint your eyes at him and he turns the card to allow you to read it as well. Surely, the same question reads right on top of it and, as you take a glance at the ones below it, they’re not that much better. You shake your head, “God, I have no idea.”

“I know mine.”

“You didn’t give a single thought on that one.” You say. “This should be good.”

“Jennifer Aniston.”

“Jennifer Aniston?” You stop on your tracks, raising your brows at him. “You know she was married to Brad Pitt, right?”

“Ouch.” Harry makes the theatrics of putting a hand on his heart, head falling dramatically to the side. “Right where it hurts.”

“I’m not saying you’re bad-looking, but he’s Brad Pitt.” You emphasize with a laugh, pushing him playfully as you keep walking. “Like he is the male beauty standard. Personified.”

The front of Evan’s feels more vivid than it was when you first walked in hours ago, the lights inside seeming lighter and the curtains having been pulled back, showing people wandering around on the inside. You walk past another pair crouched in front of the bushes that line next to the front gate that creaks as you open it.

Harry rolls his eyes. “Sure, let’s hear yours, then, sweetheart.”

“Ew, don’t ever call me that again.” Your nose scrunches and your face grows hot, but you attempt to shake it off, stopping to think of the question. “Huh, on my best day? I think… I don’t know, maybe Drake?”

“Oh, no!” Harry’s hands cover his face as he shakes his head into them. “I feel like that’s the most basic answer anyone could ever give to this question.”

You gasp. “Did you just call me basic?”

Harry holds the front door open for you and, before he’s able to give you an answer, you bump right into Nia. She instantly blurts out your name, as if she’s been expecting you to appear. “I’ve been looking for you!” She says, sparing Harry a glance over your shoulder before pulling you slightly to the side. “Do you think we could talk for a second?”

“Sure.” You hold out the word, looking at Harry before focusing on your friend again. “Did something happen?”

“No, no, nothing happened. Just—” Nia starts, locking your arms as she guides you back outside, pulling you to a corner a few steps away from the front door. “How are you? How's it going?”

“I’m fine. Why?” Your brows knit together at her interference and you wonder if it has anything to do with her conversation with Nate.

“I’m talking about-” She looks over her shoulder, clearly checking if anyone is listening in. Even after making sure that there’s no one there, she still lowers her voice. “When I saw he was your pair, I wanted to rescue you right away, but fucking Taylor pulled me with him and I didn’t get the chance.”

Oh. “Oh.”

“Is it too awkward?” She keeps her inquiry, holding your hand close to her chest. “We could ask them to switch so we can do the rest together, I’m sure Evan’s too plastered to notice.”

“Nia, I-” You smile as you come to realize that she pulled you aside just to check if you’re uncomfortable, having witnessed first-hand your whines and cries over Harry last year. “It’s okay, really. It’s not that bad, surprisingly.”

“Really?” Nia blinks, taken aback. “I- What happened?”

“Nothing.” You reassure her with a squeeze on her hand. “We’re just chatting, it’s not that awkward.”

“Okay.” She nods and nods, before falling serious again. “But if anything happens you just have to scream for me and I’ll be right there, okay?”

“Okay.” You say, pulling her for a brief hug. “Thanks, Ni.”

The two of you return inside just as Taylor brings up his brother’s hair sculpture collection that’s being exhibited at a local gallery — a subject you already have been the victim of hearing for about an hour during New Year’s and, by Harry’s face, he seems as helpless as you did back then. Nia doesn’t waste a second before pulling her pair away, “Let’s go, pal, those clues won’t solve themselves,” she shoots you a look over her shoulder, pushing Taylor towards the living room and you chuckle.

“He really is one of a kind, that man,” Harry says with a sigh before meeting your gaze. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, just lady talk.” You brush aside. “Let’s find those poets, shall we?”

“We shall.” Harry smiles, looking around for a second before guiding you down the hallway, turning just before entering the kitchen where a staircase. This is a way that — like the greenhouse — you’ve never been to. Still, Harry navigates so casually as if it were his own home and, to some degree, you suppose it is. You follow him up the first flight of steps, stopping just before turning into the next one where a door you never really noticed before stands. Harry rests his hand on the handle, turning to you before saying, “There’s an office hidden right here.”

You watch as he opens it, motioning for you to walk in first. And, indeed, the inside of it is an office, just a bit smaller than the living room on the opposite side of the house. Two bookcases that go from the floor to the ceiling mostly covered the wall, only leaving a single space in the middle for a dark wooden cabinet. In front of it, an L-shaped desk takes up the middle of the room, most of it is filled with files and paper stacks, as well as two computers lying asleep. For a moment, you just stand by the doorway, admiring this room you’ve never known of its existence, your eyes quickly sweeping through the bookshelves completely packed with dark cover books of all sorts. “Do you think this is where it could be?”

“Probably, yeah.” Harry nods, turning on the lights. “I don’t know where else he could have any poetry hidden.”

You move towards one bookshelf, the one closest to the door, reaching to brush your finger through the spines perfectly lined. “But look at the size of these, we’ll take forever to find anything in here.”

“Those big ones are mostly law books, I think,” Harry says, opening cabinets at the other side of the room, right next to where a white couch stands. He turns to look at you, “His sister’s a lawyer, this is her office.” Harry says, “But Evan’s got a corner right here where he keeps some of his stuff— like books of sorts. It’s the only place I could think of.”

You hum, not knowing exactly what to respond to this information.

“You can go through the ones on that side, it could be there as well.” Harry nods towards a cabinet right next to the door where you came from, and you nod.

The first two cabinets are of no luck, both being mostly filled with boxes full of children’s books and old toys — some of them mixed with more stacks of paper, but those, instead of having long texts, have drawings of all kinds from what you could gather in a glance, from child-like scribbles to actual sketches. You can hear Harry going through drawers on the other side of the room and, upon closing another empty cabinet, you peek at him, watching his broad back flexing under his shirt as he moves around. Averting your eyes as swiftly as you looked, it’s still enough to bring warmth to your cheeks.

Finally, you open the cabinet at the very bottom of the shelf. On the top, there are piles of DVDs, most being different variations of Barbie movies, but, right at the bottom, you find books. You don’t stop to check their genre at first, simply moving them away until you stumble upon a small box, the top of it marked with the word ‘prize’. “Found it!” You call back, taking the box away from the pile before setting the books back in place again. “Under Rupi Kaur? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure she’s very alive.”

“Don’t tell Evan that,” Harry says as he crouches next to you, taking the box from your hands. Inside, there are, as expected, two tiny bottles like the ones you found before but, what calls both your attention, is a small bag of sweets lying in the middle. Harry takes it, “Oh, those are nice.”

He hands it to you and you open it, quickly shoving a jelly candy into your mouth before nodding. “Yeah.”

“So…” Harry starts, peeking over his shoulder, “Do you want to go back there?”

You glance at him, his eyes hovering above yours, lips twitching up just barely. “Uh… Maybe not right now.” You answer, “Unless you feel like sharing our Jellies with other people.”

Harry only laughs, shaking his head as he sits back and you do so too, right next to him. He reaches for his pocket, presenting another tiny bottle, the one you found inside his birdhouse, “We still got these.” 

“Right!” You fetch your own out of the pocket of your jacket.

Harry opens his, holding it up towards you. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.” You say, mimicking him.

Both of you down your drinks, the liquid tasting bitter, like medicine on your tongue, the only reminder of alcohol being the burn as it slides down your throat. You rest your head back on the cabinet behind you as the two of you fall into silence once more. A part of your mind is already beginning to swim around the space inside your head, and you decide to not take the last drink just yet, laying it next to your leg. Though you’ve only had the equivalent of two shots, you realize the long break you’ve had from drinking for the past couple of months -- which wasn’t exactly an intentional choice, but more like the result of your lack of free time -- is showing itself to have been enough to make you more of a lightweight. 

And even though the night so far has been strikingly surprising in terms of how comfortable you felt being around Harry again, it doesn’t mean the questions you’ve been carrying since last year have gotten any quieter. They’ve only gotten louder. More persistent, even. The curiosity you feel to know what happened is almost suffocating now. And you’d be damned if you let a drunken mind stop you from having this conversation.

You glance at him from the corner of your eyes, only watching the back of his head bobbing along with the music -- still the piano -- that comes faintly from behind the closed door. Your lips part, feeling the question form right at the tip of your tongue, but not knowing how to voice the words. Will it be awkward? You think so, but what if it ruins the night? Tonight, that’s been so oddly refreshing. A night that only served to remind you how you became so infatuated with him in the first place.

But you know you won’t be able to let go of this ich inside your head unless you bring it up. And you want to, you do, but as you take too long to think of the right way to do so, Harry decides to break the silence, murmuring next to you, “That’s a good one.”

Your brows knit together, trying to make out any trace of familiarity within the song that’s playing, but you don't find any, which only leaves you even more confused.  “Do you like classical?”

“Love,” Harry says simply, his eyes closed as he moves his head with the piano keys. “Especially this one. One of the greatest works from one of the greatest contemporary composers: Billie Eilish.”

Your lips fall open, “Shut up. Is she playing this?”

Harry laughs, a full one, that brings a grin to poke at your lips. “I mean, as far as I’m aware, no. It’s a version of her song — listen in.” He points to his ear, nodding with the melody as he sings along, “So you’re a tough guy, like it really rough guy.”

You shake your head incredulously, “Of course he’s playing classical versions of pop songs!” 

“Did you really think Evan had a taste for Chopin or Debussy?” Harry asks both dimples poking on his cheeks.

“I think at this point I’d believe anything you tell me about him.”

Both of you laugh, the air surrounding you light and warm, before falling quiet again. This time, however, you simply stare at each other for a beat. You watch his eyes, with their almost hypnotizing jade shade, glancing between your own. He rolls his lip between his teeth, nibbling at it. This is the closest you’ve been to him all night, and the details on his face only feel like a reminder of your doubts. Like the nostalgia you feel with a bittersweet memory.

“Should we-“ You stop, the words falling from your lips before you can think about them. “Should we talk about the elephant in the room?”

You half expect Harry to frown, to play dumb, and question you the meaning behind your words. For a second, you even expect him to shake his head, to get up and leave the room. And, for some reason, you kinda want him to do so. To finally break the mask of the nice, sweet guy he’s been putting on all night and allow himself to play the role of cold prick you put him on for the past months. 

But he doesn’t do it. He only gives you a short smile. “I was thinking about how to bring it up.” Harry’s gaze falls to his lap for a beat as he scratches his nose. “We should, yeah.”

You nod, more to yourself than to him. This is it. The moment to ask what you’ve been waiting for for six months now. You decide not to think much anymore, allowing the question to roll freely, “I don’t really know how to word this better but- pardon my French- what the fuck happened?”

Harry chuckles, but not an amused one. It’s more of a dry, nervous laugh. “How cliche is it if I tell you I was really fucking stupid?”

“Pretty cliche.” You say, “But also pretty true, I suppose.”

“I’m sorry for that.” He looks up, eyes meeting yours again, his own softening upon seeing you. “I really am.”

“Thank you for apologizing.” You smile a little, “But I think I deserve an explanation.”

“You do.” He speaks quietly before clearing his throat. For a second, he doesn’t say anything else, just takes a sharp breath, focusing on his fingers that play with the hem of his trousers. “I- Uhm- I know this might come as a surprise, but I’m not very good at letting people down.”

“A bit, I guess.” You try to humor, but your tone doesn’t show it. You sound quiet, hurt.

He peeks up at you, and continues, “Jess- the girl you met at the premiere- she’s lovely and all, but- how do I say this- we were never really supposed to be together.” Harry sighs, “I didn’t like her like that.”

You frown, “Then, why did you?”

“A couple of months before we met- before Evan even mentioned the film project to me, one of my mates kept insisting that I should meet his sister.” He pauses, “That was Jess.”

“I figured.”

Harry nods, “As I said, she’s a lovely girl, really nice, but we just- didn’t click like that, you know?” You hum in agreement, ignoring a small twist in your stomach when he repeats the endearment term. “But I guess she really wanted to try it, and, for months, I just kept pushing and pushing, cause I thought maybe with time I could bring myself to feel the same way.” And then again, another humorless laugh, “But- spoiler alert- I couldn’t and I should’ve just told her that.”

Your mouth hangs open for a beat before you decide against saying anything. It’s clear as you watch him explain that the entire situation for him felt more complicated than you’d ever considered. Not once did you think about the possibility of him being caught in a twist of his own decisions, and not once did you regard his feelings with the whole situation. In your bubble of gloominess, all you could think of was how he played you and used you for a bit before moving on to the next girl that fell for his sweet talk. 

Looking at him now, however, his head low and brows set on a permanent crease, lips frowning down, you can feel the internal conflict pooling out of his pores. You’re not sure if it’s exactly a look of remorse that he gives you, but it sure seems close to it.

Harry huffs in what feels like frustration as he keeps recalling the events, “But all my mates kept taking the piss, pushing me to ask her out and then, in the middle of it, I met you.” He finally smiles a bit, and you have to look down to hide the warmth that spreads on your cheeks, “And we-uh-” He shrugs, “I mean, we clicked, didn’t we?”

“I think so.” You say, just above a whisper.

“I think so, too,” Harry says, holding your gaze with his own. “And when I was with you I let myself forget about that, forget about the pressure to be with someone else, I guess.” His lips fall again, eyes meeting his lap, “But when we came back, there wasn’t much running away from it anymore. The night we got back I met that friend of mine and, I’m not sure if he said anything to Jess, but she asked me out.”

“And you said yes.”

“I said yes.” He repeats, shaking his head, “I shouldn’t have, but I said yes.”

“So you just dated her? Even if you didn’t like her like that?” You say, trying to understand his thought process. Even if his words tug at your heartstrings -- which you try to not think about right now -- you still can’t help but feel a bit for the other girl.

“I thought I could- I don’t know, I thought with time maybe I could-” He stumbles around with his speech, before finally letting out a sigh, “I don’t know what was going through my head, to be honest. I was a prick.”

“At least you can admit to it.”

“I was a prick to both of you.” 

You fall quiet, hoping he takes your silence as an agreement. When he doesn’t offer anything else, you speak up again, “Did it work, though?” He frowns, and you clarify, “Letting time force feelings into you?”

“I found very quickly how hard it is to develop feelings for someone when there’s someone else on your mind.” He says, and you bite back a smile that wants to spread on your lips.

“It’s very easy to say that now.”

“I know.” He agrees, “And I wish I could’ve realized that earlier, before even bringing you into this mess.” Harry reaches for your wrist, which lies on top of your lap, giving it a gentle squeeze. “For that I really am sorry.”

“I know you are.” You reassure, turning your hand to find his, squeezing it back. “And what happened to Jess?”

“She was rightfully upset when I told her.” His thumb brushes against your knuckles, moving the rings on your fingers around just slightly, and it’s almost enough to distract you from his voice. “We broke up a day after the premiere.”

“Ouch.”

“But it’s fine now, she’s got a boyfriend now who actually cares for her the way she deserves,” Harry says.

“That’s nice to hear, at least.”

“It is, yeah.”

You look down at your hands locked in your lap, squeezing his one more time before letting it go with a sigh.  “You really made a big mess, huh?”

He chuckles, a guilty smile poking on his face, “I did.”

You nod, finally reaching for the tiny bottle left forgotten next to you, opening it. This time you only take a sip, but it’s still enough to end half of the liquid inside. You click your tongue, “I’m glad we talked, though.” You look up at Harry again, who’s already watching you, giving a small tap on his thigh. “It’s nice to have closure, you know? To give it a conclusion and wrap with a nice little bow.”

Harry rolls his lip inside his mouth, “Is this a conclusion, then?”

You raise your brows, “Is it not?”

“I guess it could be.” He shrugs one shoulder, leaning closer to you just barely, eyes trained in yours. “But I’m hoping that, after today, maybe we could start over?”

You laugh, scrunching your nose at him as you shake your head. “Not a start over, no.” You poke his side, “You’re not getting away that easy.”

“You’re right.” He says, still not budging as he frowns his lips. “But I wish it didn’t have to be an ending as well.”

“Is that so?”

Harry nods, you can tell his eyes hold a shyness that wasn’t here a minute ago, but at the same time -- as paradoxically as it seems -- there’s a boldness as well, one you’re more familiar with. “Maybe we could chat again. This time with fewer ice breaker cards and more bags of sweets.”

You smile, rubbing your chin as you pretend to ponder about his suggestion. “That does sound very promising.”

“I really do think we clicked.” He drops his playful tone as if wanting to make sure you feel the sincerity behind his words. “Wasn’t just saying it.”

“I know.” You say, “And I think so, too.”

His smirk grows, and he doesn’t offer anything else to say, but you can tell he’s holding something back. With the silence, you suddenly become too aware of the way your arms brush together, and how his knee bumps against yours. You notice how his eyes fall a bit from yours, so quickly you could’ve imagined it, but you choose to not think so. If you lean forward, you know he will too, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction. You’re not letting yourself make the first move.

Surely, you’re aware these thoughts are a direct result of the alcohol sweeping through your mind, testing how much of your pride you’re willing to ignore. There’s no questioning of the wall that you built all those months ago after walking out of this very house with this very man on your tail blurring out apologies. It still stands, tall and strong, and you're not letting sweet words mixed with a drink or two pull it down. Not that easily. But at this moment, looking at his stupidly beautiful face with his stupidly beautiful eyes so close to you, you feel like maybe you could peek through a window, or open up a door — just a creek, just to have a sample of what it would feel like if you were to pull it down.

“Do you want to go back?” Harry asks again, this time more quietly, this time his question has a different implication than it did before.

You're quick to shake your head, voice quiet, “Not yet.”

The corner of his lips quirk up and you raise your brows, silently daring him to ask what he’s been holding. You see his hand moving from the corner of your eyes, but you don’t break your gaze from his, not even when you feel his fingertips moving so gently against your cheekbone, brushing your hair away from your face. Harry leans closer, again just barely, and again, you stay still, only smiling softly in encouragement. Now, you’re stuck in your own silent conversation; both seeking the same thing but not making the move to achieve it -- either for pride or apprehension. 

“I’d really like to kiss you right now,” Harry whispers finally, eyes moving down again, this time slowly, making sure that his intentions are clear.

“Do it, then.” You tease.

Harry breathes out a laugh, his hand caressing its way down to your jaw. He rubs his thumb against your cheek, a feathery touch, taking another second to look at you before pulling you in. Your eyes fall closed, as you focus on your senses, and allow yourself to peek from that window, or creek that door open just a bit, to have just this moment to remember when you first got lost in his touch. 

First, it’s the warmth of his breath tickling your cupid bow, making your hold your own breath in anticipation. Then, the tip of his nose, gentle against your own, and you can’t help but lean in a bit more when you feel the ghost of his lips on yours. But he pulls back, just so slightly, hoping to have you reach for him again. Except you don’t, knowing what he’s trying to do.

“Uh-uh,” you shake your head, pulling back just a bit to look him in the eye. “You don’t get to tease me.”

Harry huffs out a laugh, “That’s fair.”

This time, there’s no teasing. Still, he goes in just as slowly as he did the first time around, curving his lips around your bottom one so softly it almost makes you lean in again. His kiss is cloud-like in a way that makes you a bit dizzy and when he presses his lips harder, you have to refrain from letting out a dreamy sigh -- still too stubborn to give him the satisfaction. It’s when you feel the tip of his tongue poking out to lick at your bottom lip in a silent request, that you pull away completely.

It’s your turn to smirk now, licking your lips before announcing, “I think we should go back now.”