#although idk if anyone would read it? cuz if i do write it I plan on doing long ass chapters and

[beyondevilslut]

I'm not even a writer nor am I anywhere nearly as qualified as being one but the amount of ideas running in my head are all so ugh.

One of the ideas I had in mind was that juwon finds out he has a sibling but he never knew about her cuz of his mother being taken away and such. LIKE IMAGINE HIM HAVING A SISTER?? I'm just so soft just thinking about it cuz the sister is like a total opposite of juwon. Just thinking of the amount of bullying and shit she puts juwon through that I have all planned in my head makes me laugh (I need help but what's the fun in that?)

Another one is a gahan fic and I've been reading alot of tdj fics recently but unfortunately I can't find the exact stuff that I'm looking for that I want to be explored more deeply. The version of gaon that I have in mind is the one that we're shown how he behaved when he lost his parents and the way he grieved for them out of Recklessness and such vengeance. The part of gaon where we realize he can be just as dark as yohan if he did choose to go down that path. My idea for this is that, he starts giving less of a shit about himself after Elijah and yohan left BUT he's under the impression that yohan died (I'm not entirely sure whether I should keep that part or remove it tbh) and therefore he goes on to be such a bad boy with a bratty and sassy attitude.

I also was thinking something for the guest, however, I can't figure out what I want for that fandom to be explored tbh. I gotta brainstorm a bit more for it ig. I think I'd wanna just do more fluff for them cuz they already had their fair share of trauma, but ig I'd include a little bit of angst for them?

My other thought was to have a crossover with all three of these fandoms and ideas together and just create a found family under major trauma. When I think about it tho, there's too much characters and I wander if it might be a bit overboard? Since I don't plan on having most of the characters dead but ugh we shall see.

It sounds very unhinged and probably the craziest plot I've ever thought of tbh but like.. the setting I planned for it is honestly fun. Altho, I donno if I'll ever come to write this but who knows, with the right motivation and energy I might do it someday.

[callophelia-ailingamnemonic]

Genshin AU ideas that have been living in my head but currently don't have enough sustenance for me to consider writing stories for

Fatui Fledgling AU

This AU idea is based on a fic I read "Strings Attached" by VeePASTA (Viewer discretion to all who plan to read it, it's NSFW)

Similar to what happens in the story (minus all the sex cuz I ain't about that life), in this AU, instead of the Fledgling dying (Idk if I want to call him Tori or Hinadori yet), he survives when Kabukimono and Dottore cross paths and Kabuki decides to essentially sell himself to Dottore for the price of the Fledgling's survival.

To pull that feat off, Dottore replaces the Fledgling's infected organs with artificial innards made after studying Kabuki, essentially turning the Fledgling into a long-living cyborg puppet. As per his and Kabuki's agreement, Dottore lets the Fledgling go after a few experiments, but the Fledgling decides to remain as Dottore's assistant to stay close to Kabuki.

For the next 500 years, Kabuki remains Dottore's favourite experiment and prisoner and never becomes a harbinger, and while I don't think the Fledgling would ever become a harbinger himself, I do like to imagine that he grows up with a cold disposition that slightly resembles canon balladeer's if you take away the god-complex.

Although he's Dottore's assistant, if given the chance, he wouldn't hesitate to brutally murder the man (for reasonable reasons) and bust himself and Kabuki out of there. I like to imagine that this determination allows the Fledgling to receive a vision (probably an Electro based on an explanation interpretation I saw in a video) and that his skills would have something to do with dolls :))

I just think it would be super interesting to see the Fledgling in a similar role to canon Balladeer and how that would change the story :uu

I'm still contemplating if the Fledgling should be successful in his goal of saving Kabuki, or if I should kill Kabuki off for character development.

Collei runs away from the Fatui with Kunikuzushi's decapitated head AU

This AU's inspired by two fics: "I'll get you home" by jammincat and "Two Flowers to Trick the Children" by zephyrai

Long story short, in this AU, Scaramouche/Kunikuzushi/Whatever else he's named lol helps Collei escape the Fatui. I haven't decided yet if he's still a harbinger in the AU and just got close to Collei the same way he does in TFTTTC, or if he's just a fellow test subject who just knows more due to how long he's been with the Fatui.

Either way, he helps her escape but then Dottore effing shows up and effing d e c a p i t a t e s Scara to which Collei grabs his head due to "Not my best/closest/only friend!" emotions and runs away, somehow successfully escaping Dottore).

In this AU, I imagine Scara working a lot like the gems from Houseki no Kuni where he kind of goes unconscious when he loses too many pieces of himself (or, y'know, loses his head) but is perfectly fine after you put the pieces back together, but as far as anyone in Mondstadt was concerned, Collei is essentially carrying around a dead person's head lol

Tho I do also imagine that maybe Scara's head is still able to have thoughts and that somehow, Collei is able to telepathically read those thoughts. So not only was she the traumatized kid who carried around her dead friend's head, but she was the traumatized kid who was so traumatized that as far as the Mondstatders were aware, she would talk to her dead friend's head and treat it like it's not a decapitated limb.

Maybe whenever Scara's head is around electro crystals, he's able to communicate using an Ouiji board or something, so now people don't think she's crazy anymore when they see him "talk" but they do freak out because "IS THAT GHOSTLY ACTIVITY???"

I just think it would be interesting to see an AU where Collei has Scara's decapitated head around. I'd enjoy seeing a segment where the traveller needs info on Dottore and Cyno's like: "I know a guy, who knows a gal, who knows another guy who could help you out" and they just expect to see another forest ranger when SURPRISE MOTHERFUDGER- it's a decapitated head!

Either way, in this AU, I can imagine that one of the conditions Nahida makes in her deal with Dottore is for him to return Scara's body. Now, although his body is not conscious, Dottore can still use it for some experiments, so he's not to keen on accepting the deal until an audible crack can be heard from the gnosis' in Nahida's grasp lol.

Fatui Fledgling and CRAFTFWKDH mashup AU

I ended up having another thought: "What if I mashed up these two AU ideas together?"

The fledgling is Dottore's assistant who smuggles things from the outside for his big brother: books, treats, small toys, and supplies to make stuffed dolls, and Kabuki, who sympathizes with the young girl in the cell next to his, reads his books to her, gives her his treats and toys, makes her a doll, and eventually convinces the Fledgling to aid him to help Collei escape.

Just like in the CRAFTFWKDH AU, this doesn't go too well and Kabuki gets his head and arm decapitated, to which the Fledgling snags his head, Collei grabs his arm, and Dottore retrieves the rest of his body.

I don't know what the two's relationship in this AU should be like yet, but I imagine that initially, Collei hates the Fledgling and the Fledgling doesn't really care about her, but as the only members of the "Kabukimono's Younger Siblings" club, they probably learn to tolerate each other after his decapitation... kinda like real siblings lol.

After that ordeal tho, I'd imagine that the Fledgling probably just drops Collei off at Mondstadt and goes off to do other things I don't know yet (probably not go back to the Fatui, unless he plans on retrieving the rest of Kabuki's body on his own or smth). The two are still able to communicate thanks to the body parts they retrieved from Kabuki's dismemberment.

I don't really have much else for this AU, but the Fledgling would probably also show up in the Sumeru arc.

[queenimmadolla]

Question. What do u think about fics where eddie is cheating on reader? Do u read them? Would u forgive him? I only ask cuz for me once u cross that line i'd never get with u no matter how hard he begs. Idk why but i've seen like 3 Cheating fics today and i dont wanna be hurt. Lol. I wanna say that u have a cheating fic but im not sure.

This is literally the third fucking time I’ve tried to answer this ask because i would type away and tumblr would decided to glitch out to my home screen and erase everything i typed, so please forgive me if I sound aggressive, it’s not towards you at all. I was reading through this ask and thinking “ooh, bestie you’re asking the wrong person cause i have one of those” then i got to the end of your ask lol. I’ve actually been wanting to talk about this for a while so I’m gonna answer you and ramble! numbering them just in case the keep reading thing eats anything (1-5)

1.) I approach these fics with caution. I love angst. Adore it. It is the ultimate plot establisher and mover but i only really like to read angst with happy endings. So I’ll read a fic about Eddie cheating if there’s resolution or if the writer says there will be resolution but there’s only one real way to write a satisfying ending for everyone in this case, although it’s definitely a preference thing as well (whether or not you’d even forgive him because usually people want him dead in this scenario lol). Whether or not I would take him back just depends on how the scenario is written. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no, but he's also not ever allowed to be happy again in his lifespan or even in death.

2.) Personally, I’m not big on reader forgiving Eddie—even if he seems genuine in his apology—if i haven’t read about him doing enough to be forgiven, you know? Like he’s got to grovel, beg, improve, suffer, chase after reader and go on a fucking journey through the center of the earth, through hell, Olympus, wherever—move fucking mountains to get them back. But usually, you’ll only see a couple of time skips and summaries of what he’s done that we don’t get to see expanded upon. That’s when I’ll go to the comments and see people stating they wish Reader hadn’t forgiven him so easily or something. It’s never the writer’s fault, though. Because writing that satisfactory ending? That’s fucking hard.

3.) I can give you that little summary and probably expand upon it, but actually writing a full fledged resolution? Dialogue? Dictating whether or not Eddie is leaning against a wall when he says something or blinks or licks his lips after his speech, secondary characters, what the fuck is the reader doing at home, are they reading, are they sad, are they on their bed—all those little details that bring the story and characters to life????? They turn that promising summary into something that’ll be over 15k words. And that’s a lot. That’s a lot of dialogue to plan, a lot of movements for characters to make, descriptions of settings, hell even the fucking weather! And it takes FOREVER! That’s why it’s been what, maybe a year almost a year and I haven’t updated To Pieces (but i AM working on it so put down the tomatoes lol). I’ll write out chunks, I’m talking like 4k words and be so dissatisfied with parts or progress because I’ll realize i wrote all that and i still haven’t even gotten anywhere, nowhere near the resolution or meat and potatoes and delete it.

4.) So i don’t blame writers for the time skips or the quick resolution cause it’s really fucking hard to write, kudos to them, give them their flowers. And usually they only do it because people are hounding them for a part two.

5.) But in real life? No. I’m not taking anyone back lol. I’m too hot for that.

Anyways, that was a lot. And that’s what you missed on glee lol.

[chilumi-shipper]

Gosh im so fuckimg nervous this is my first time doing this EVER. Im not even sure if you're accepting reqs rn but I'll risk it. Also im in love with the pAIN. It hurts so good. I keep re reading every angst/fluff u write cuz ik they're all worth it OMIGAD oki,

may i req any angst to fluff with my bby man arataki itto?ㅠㅠ I keep looking for any but to no avail then came across your acc, (been rereading ur works for months i feel like a creep holy shiieet) like idk how u do it because I dont have a specific imagine in my mind OMG TF I talk too much okay I'll go

also ily HEHEH ♡╮ ( ´ ▽ ` ) ╭♡

My Favorite Girl

Arataki Itto x Shrine Maiden!Fem!Reader

Summary: You were definitely an odd couple, but it just worked out. Despite his somewhat idiotic attitude and the fact that he doesn't have a stable income, you loved him with all your heart. Although, you can never tell if he feels the same way about you, he definitely loves you, but... will you ever mean more to him than his gang? Will he ever gleefully talk about you like he talks about his deputy? Will he ever fondly think that you are just so amazing, like how he thinks of Kuki Shinobu?

Part 2

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Despite the Arataki Gang's infamous title of being a pretty rowdy and a troublemaking group of idiots, you were quite fond of them, they're a funny group, never failing to make you laugh, they stick by each other, you have to admire that loyalty, and they make your one and oni the person that he is. You have to appreciate that.

No matter the overwhelming differences between you and Itto, it seems that fate has brought the both of you together, it really shocked many of your fellow Shrine Maidens.

You were given the title of "The Arataki Gang's Honorary Maiden", you treasured that title just as much as you did your official title at the Grand Narukami Shrine. Whenever you could, you'd do some ordinary things for the Gang, just like a normal member would, send out flyers for whatever goofy festival or play or event they may be planning on doing, providing them with food and a shelter if they ever get themselves up to some trouble again, which they frequently do, you're the one that Ushi goes to for comfort when he sometimes gets fed up by all the stupidity around him, you're even the person to find if anyone of them manage to find themselves in a cell.

"Y/N!" You hear Itto's energetic voice call for you, though it wasn't only you he managed to get the attention of. As always, he manages to get everyone's attention at the shrine whenever he visits.

As the gang approaches you, all smiles like the usual, (except when their smiles linger with the look of guilt when they need to tell you that they messed something up) you see a familiar girl with green hair walk with them.

"Check it out! An official new member of the Arataki Gang." The way Itto spoke makes it obvious that he's so proud, you understood of course, nobody really wanted to join them before because of their neverending... conflicts.

Their happy expressions were contagious, you also couldn't help but smile. "Oh, I feel like I've seen you from somewhere." You directed your words to the masked girl. She seems to turn flustered scratching the back of her head.

"Yeahhhhh... I was here the other day... with my mother..." When the girl answered, it finally clicked, the other day, a woman and her daughter were arguing there at the shrine, the mother talking about her daughter being a shrine maiden, with a stable income and a good future and all that, whilst the daughter was arguing that the job just wasn't for her.

"Ohh, yeah, I remember now!" You smiled sweetly at the girl, unknowing of the blush that she hid behind her mask when you showed such warmth towards her. "I guess you found your real passion now."

Itto crossed his arms proudly. "That's right! This is Kuki Shinobu! Our new member, just thought I should introduce you two to each other, but now that seems unnecessary." Itto looked at the green haired girl.

"Heh, good thing Shinobu didn't choose to be a boring old Shrine Maiden." Mamoru, one of the members of the gang, stated, instantly getting elbowed by Genta.

"You idiot! Do you know where we are?!"

You took no offense, even laughing at their poor attempt of covering what he said.

"Oh, no offense, Y/N." Mamoru said sheepishly, "We like you! You aren't one of those stick in the mud Shrine Maidens!" Another elbow from Genta stopped him from speaking, as you pretend to be oblivious of the dirty glares they were getting from your co-workers.

"Well, we should definitely be going now!" Itto leaned down a bit, stealing a kiss on your lips as a goodbye. "I'll see you back home." His words were gentler when his forehead is pressed against yours.

"Try not to get arrested again." You whispered back, just as gentle despite the meaning of your words. "Or else I might how to cuddle with Ushi again tonight."

"Not gonna happen." Another kiss and he was off with his gang.

...

...

...

After that... it was like you've been replaced.

Ever so slowly did it show that you were no longer needed in the group. Kuki Shinobu was one amazing addition, so much so that she became a Deputy Leader a week after her arrival.

It seems like you're gently being pushed away, it felt like now that you have a replacement, they don't want you anymore.

You no longer received news about the group, it's like you're not gonna be invited to any more card games and beetle fights and 'festivals'.

At first you understood, you were kinda always busy, you aren't always gonna be there, so it's great that the idiots have someone to have their backs and get them out of trouble when you're not around.

"Where are you going?" You were standing behind Itto, as he was about to leave through the front door. He never mentioned any affairs he had to go to that night.

Itto looked back at you and smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head and said, "I've got some things planned with the gang. Is it okay if I come home late?"

You gulped, looking down a bit. "Y-Yeah, okay, sure." His smile turned bigger, going up to you and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Great! Thanks!" He left eagerly, whilst you sighed and tried to endure a wave of disappointment.

You walked to the kitchen, "He forgot..." You felt a tear run down your cheek, your hand quick to wipe it away as you take the pot of Itto's favorite off the stove and transferring a portion for yourself on a plate, the rest you just plan to give away to the nice seniors living next door.

Maybe it was just you that felt off with the changes, feeling bad that you don't get to spend as much time with your beloved as much as you would want to. But then again, that could just be you being overly attached.

Maybe it was just your own insecurities speaking when you see that Itto holds so much adoration for Shinobu, adoration that he has never showed to anyone before.

Maybe it was just your own jealous thoughts taking over when Itto keeps bailing on you and your plans in favor of going with his gang.

And from feeling like you're no longer a part of the Arataki Gang, it went to feeling like you were no longer an important part of Itto's life.

"Shinobu's basically the best gal there is!" He thinks so highly of her, you can't help but let jealousy cloud your mind. You were at the same restaurant they happen to walk into just now.

You knew it was wrong, but you listen in on the group's conversation, "She just got her school certificate from that big shot school in Liyue! We gotta celebrate!" You thought that eating at the restaurant might give you some time to think and feel relaxed, but it would seem like there was just a constant feeling eating at your skin everytime you think about the ever closing relationship between Itto and Shinobu.

"Hey, how about Tuesday next week, boss? I hear that there's gonna be this massive star shower that night."

"It's called a meteor shower, you idiot!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool! Remember that nice spot we set up our Drumalong Festival? Let's celebrate there again. I bet we get a clear shot of the beautiful sky there!" Itto suggested as you feel your heart sink a bit.

"It's not like I have anything planned, we can get started getting the things we need to celebrate now." Tears started to burn your eyes, you couldn't help but just look down at your food, feeling devastated about what you heard.

Next Tuesday is your birthday.

You thought that maybe it would be nice to go on a night picnic with him and watch the nice show in the sky, you aren't much for big celebrations with tons of people, heck, you'd rather have Itto bring his gang along, they always makes things fun and entertaining.

You had it all planned out in your head too, you thought that it would make up for all the time that you lost when he would bail on you. You already asked him to join you a few days ago, it seems that he forgot that he agreed.

But at least now, you're absolutely sure of what you are to Itto now.

...You had your great times with him.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"You're leaving?" Itto sounded like a kicked puppy, looking at your back as you pack a portion of your clothes into a bag.

You didn't bother looking at him, continuing to pack as you answered, "Y-Yeah, I have to go to Watatsumi Island for work stuff." You noticed that your voice started trembling, so you kept your answer short.

Itto looked over your shoulder, seeing a big pile of items in your bag. "That's a lot of stuff. Are you staying there for like... a week or something?" He chuckled, though it sounded as if it was in uncertainty, he really hopes you're not gonna be gone that long.

You sniff, you feel that your eyes are a bit sore from crying yourself to sleep the past few days. You felt fatigue, hopelessness, heartbreak, all that just in the span of a few days.

"A month, actually?"

The Oni almost couldn't believe his ears. "W-What? That's so long." He tried laughing a bit to ease a bit of the shock he felt, yet his laugh only came out awkward and confused.

"It's not like you'll notice I'm gone." It was what you wanted to say, however you kept it in.

"A-Alright, when will you be leaving? I can help you haul you stuff to the boat." You zipped up your bag before finally looking back at him.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at your face, it's not the first time these past few days that he didn't notice the tired look in your eyes.

You took something out from your pocket, taking out a purple envelope, you brought Itto's attention to the object.

Today is your birthday the festival in Kuki Shinobu's honor. And today is also the day that special meteor shower will be happening.

He still hasn't realized.

"Hey, isn't that the envelope for our festival. We'll go there together tonight, right?" He smiled sweetly at you, you were gonna miss that pure smile of his.

"Actually..." You sighed, handing him the invitation. "I'm l-leaving tonight, so you don't have to come see me off at the docks." You felt your heart ache as you see his face visible fall.

"O-Ohh..." It was a rare sight, Itto was at a lost for words, and despite your frustrations, your annoyance of being pushed away and being forgotten, you stepped closer to him before leaning down and kissing his forehead. "That soon, huh?"

"...Yeah." You shoved all the negative emotions down, hoping that your long trip to Watatsumi will clear your mind and void you of all the bad feelings you've been getting.

Itto's big arms wrapped around your form, he was sat on the bed as you were standing up, he rested his head on your stomach, feeling his disappointment grow by the second.

And he doesn't know why, but... there's been a part of his subconscious eating away at him all day, like... he's missing something important.

You pull away from the embrace much to your lover's dismay. You caress his face, smiling as he leaned in to your touch. This was actually one of the few moments that you get to spend time with him that isn't just you two getting ready for bed and sleeping.

"This is possibly one of the last moments I'll have with you."

You try not to let your tears spill out, you think that when you leave, he'll finally realize that... he doesn't need you...

A litte Shrine Maiden, boring and dull, in contrast with his exciting and kind of stupid way of living. You start looking back at what people have said about you relationship.

It's just a fever dream, it won't last.

He'll probably get tired of her soon enough.

She's just getting herself into more trouble being with an Oni. Especially that idiotic one.

You've never cared for what people have said about you, but they seem to be proving true right now.

You look into his eyes, smiling before leaning down for a kiss.

"One last kiss... Before I let you go..."

The man before you felt a strange feeling as you kissed him, the kiss was so passionate, yet it seemed full of sadness.

He shook off the weird feeling.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Itto sits at the docks of Ritou, waiting for a boat that would have the love of his life on it. There was a neatly wrapped present beside him, inside contained a beautiful jade necklace he bought with a portion of his saved up mora, along with a letter he poured all his feelings for you onto.

It has been 1 month 2 weeks and 3 days...

You were just a little bit behind on the schedule, he convinced himself. At some point, you'll be waving your hand, greeting him before you even come to the docks. He'll be coming to the docks everyday with the present until the day comes.

He's got a whole apology speech as well! If you got mad at him and chose to take the job at Watatsumi because he forgot your birthday, he has been practicing the words he wants to say to you.

He really misses you.

On your birthday, the meteor shower could apparently be seen from all over Inazuma, so chances are, you probably saw the glimmering stars as well. He just wished that he could have been with you.

Itto has been beating himself up for forgetting about your day ever since you left. He's been going to the Grand Narukami Shrine and have asked your co-workers almost single day about when you will come back and if there's any way you can come back early, they never give a preferable answer.

He understood the tired look you had now, the sadness in your eyes when he would come home late. You probably felt so alone when he's been going out so much, barely ever checking up on you, only ever being in the house to sleep and then leave immediately.

Itto held on to the precious moment you shared before you left, as he selfishly chose to go to the festival instead of bidding you goodbye, the last time he saw you was in your shared house. The sweet kiss you shared lingered in his mind, he clung onto that memory in hopes that you're not too mad at him to just up and leave and never come back.

"Woah... Didn't see you there, Beefcake." Despite trying to put some enthusiasm in his voice, the sadness the Oni felt was to obvious to mask.

Ushi slid by his side, looking at the see that his owner was previously staring at. Itto chuckled at the bull's action. "Yeah, I miss her too." He couldn't help but sigh.

The little animal reached for it's side, and it caught Itto by surprise when Ushi pulled out a single rose, before looking back to the horizon again.

"Hah, well, it looks like my competition for my Y/N's love is back huh?" He smiled. "Have you got a speech of your own ready?"

Ushi looked at his owner unimpressed, nodding before laying the rose on top of Itto's present.

Behind them, Kuki Shinobu was standing, feeling ever so empathetic for the two souls that seem to have lost their light.

The gang has been like her family, including you, even if you weren't around as often as the other members, you were the one that always made her comfortable, you were witty but also a fun person to be around with. If it weren't for you telling her that her path should be hers to choose on the day her mother forced her to go to the Grand Narukami Shrine, she would have never ended up with such amazing people.

She looked behind her, where Akira, Genta, Mamoru stood.

"Looks like we're going to Watatsumi Island."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

There'll be a part 2, just don't know when ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wrote this in very small increments over the course of two weeks, and the last part I literally wrote when I'm laying in bed at 3 am with 10% battery.

Anon, I hope you like it. I'm sorry if it's not Angst to Fluff yet like you asked, but it's kinda ling and I'm a bit tired. Still, thanks so much fir the request, I actually quite enjoyed thinking about this and writing this.

[galactic-magick]

Jacob Holland x neutral!Reader

Summary: Now that Jacob has sworn off monster hunting, he has decided to build a new crew to promote learning about and peace with the sea beasts, and you might just get a spot on that ship.

Warnings: none

Words: 900+

Author’s Notes: I’m pretty sure I’ve read all the fics in the tag and I wanted more so here I am writing my own lol. This movie came out months ago so idk if people are still interested in fics about it but idc I just needed to write something dangit! If people like this I might do a part 2 :)

Requests Status: CURRENTLY CLOSED although I’m always open to suggestions, I just can’t promise I’ll write it cuz my semester just started and I’m very busy!

It’s been about a year since the truth was revealed about the royal family’s involvement in initiating the war with the sea beasts, and thanks to the demand and passion of the people, change is actually being made. Hunting the beasts is now illegal, all the old history books have been thrown away, and now there’s been a push to study and learn about the beasts rather than just learning how to kill them. The king and queen are still certainly not happy about the changes, but as less and less people stay on their side, their argument power has been lost.

You in particular have been quite intrigued by the new changes in the kingdom. Like everyone else, you were taught to fear the beasts, but now you’re very open to learning about who they really are. You’ve always wanted to take to the sea yourself, originally to join the hunters but now just to explore. You have high hopes of boarding a ship as soon as tonight possibly, since the famous Jacob Holland is in town. You hear he’s trying to put a crew together to sail farther than anyone in the kingdom has ever gone before, with the goal of finding new species of sea beasts and spreading the message of peace to other kingdoms.

You’ve never met the guy personally, but you instantly recognize him when you see him across the room in the tavern. He’s not currently talking with anyone, so you take your shot and walk towards him, sitting next to him at the bar and ordering another drink.

“Why hello there,” he speaks first. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you in here before,”

“Oh, I’m here from time to time,” you smile.

He introduces himself, not that he needs an introduction, and you tell him your name as well. You’re not really sure what you expected, but he’s an incredibly kind man. Not that you thought he’d be mean, but after all, he’s the captain of a ship and responsible for both killing dozens of beasts and rebuilding a peaceful relationship with the beasts alongside his adopted daughter. It wouldn’t surprise you if he was a little cocky.

But he’s not. He makes casual conversation with you, attentively listening to everything you say. He tells you about his past adventures, and his plans for the future. He even asks you to dance for a while when the music starts up again, and you can’t remember the last time you had this much fun.

The multi-colored sunset glow pours through the windows, Jacob holding your hands tight as you swing around. Tune after tune plays, and neither of you grow tired. The energy in the tavern is electric, with almost everyone joining into the dance as well. Some of the songs you sing along to and some you just move to the rhythm, but neither of you care if you’re doing it correctly.

Eventually the crowd starts to flow out as the night goes on, and you sit back down at the bar to have one last round.

“Say,” he swallows the last sip of his drink. “Would you be interested in joining my crew?”

You almost spit out your own. You honestly didn’t think he’d ask you first.

“Oh! Well- I’d um- definitely consider it,” you nod.

“Wonderful. Just a moment,” he dashes across the room and soon comes back pulling a little girl on his arm, who you’re assuming is his daughter. “This is Maisie. We all have her to thank for where the kingdom is now,” he ruffles her hair and grins.

“Lovely to meet you!” you shake her hand.

“What do you think of them, hmm? Think they’re worthy to join our crew?”

Maisie takes a long look at you, as if analyzing every feature and reading your brain.

“I think so,” she finally says. “Do you really wanna join us?”

Your nod becomes more confident.

“Absolutely, if you’ll have me,”

“Yay!” she hugs you tight. “Finally someone else wants to join!”

You tilt your head towards Jacob, “You mean you haven’t recruited anyone else yet?”

“Well,” he runs a nervous hand through his hair, “Besides some of the crew members from The Inevitable...no. Not many civilians with no previous sailing experience have been interested,”

“I think they’re still scared,” Maisie pipes up, rolling her eyes. “You’re not scared, are ya?”

“It’s always a little scary trying something new,” you reply. “But no, I’m not scared to sail on a ship,”

“Good,” she looks up to Jacob. “We can keep ‘em then,”

He laughs, offering his hand to you, “Do you want to take a look around?”

You enthusiastically agree, and he leads you outside to the docks. The new ship is quite different than The Inevitable, no weapons, for one. The ship is a lot less menacing looking overall, and the lodging is much nicer. There’s even a designated spot for Maisie’s pet Blue, although she says he’s getting a bit too big to stay with her on the ship much longer.

“What do ya think?” she asks you.

“I love it,” you smile.

“We could leave tomorrow if you’d like,” Jacob says.

Your brows furrow, “What about recruiting more people?”

“I highly doubt we’ll find others as eager to join as you, love. We already have enough crew members for the basic ship operations, and I think the exploration part will be just fine with only the three of us,”

“But I’m super inexperienced, I really don’t think-”

“We were both new once too,” Maisie interrupts, tugging your sleeve with reassurance. “We both joined as kids knowin’ nothin’ too. You’re at least older and smarter than we were,”

You chuckle, “I suppose so,”

“Do we have a deal then, darlin?” Jacob smirks.

“I think we do.”

[pansyslut]

hi:) can i request an imagine where draco cheats on the reader and he doesn’t regret it cuz maybe he thinks he’s falling in love with the other person (the girl he cheathed y/n with)??idk if this makes sense :(

wait wait wait I HAVE A REQUEST ?? omg- guys this is a moment for celebration. it’s your lucky day because i’ll make this a long one. and yes that make perfect sense!! i’m so excited to write this especially because i don’t usually write angst but i think you’ll like it.

p.s. a small portion of this oneshot will have quote from a scene from greys anatomy. (2x24) i love that scene and i think it fit in well with the story.

and once again... don’t feel shy to send requests because i get so excited to hear what you guys want !

liar, liar, pants on fire

draco x reader

it had been three months. three months since you broke up with draco. three months since you found that skank in your bed.

people always say, “it will get better with time” , “the pain fades eventually”. they were wrong. what kind of bullshit is that? if anything, it hurts more.

you and draco had been together for over a year. it had started off with secret kisses, him showering you with gifts, sneaking out past curfew. even after being together for over a year it still felt like the honeymoon stage. you never fought. you never got on each other’s nerves. everything was perfect. or so you thought.

you had slipped out your bedroom when your roommate fell asleep and were making your way to dracos room. usually, you and draco would plan what nights you would spend together but you were craving his touch. he had been so distant lately. when your friends had brought up that it seemed you were spending a significant amount of less time together you brushed it off and said it was because he was stressed for the O.W.L.S.

you crept slowly in the halls and found your way to dracos door. knocking silently you waited. after the second knock, draco opened the door. as soon as you saw his face you knew something was wrong. he looked like a deer in headlights. he was obviously caught in the act of something but you hadn’t known how bad it actually was.

“dray?” you heard a female voice from behind him. you immediately froze, locking eyes with your boyfriend. he reached out to you but you snatched your hand back as you frantically shook your head.

you both stood there silently staring. until astoria walked up behind him. you instantly noticed she was in one of his shirts. on of his shirts you had gotten him.

you were never an aggressive or violent person. but in that moment- merlin in that moment you could have hexed her to death. and you would’ve done it with a smile on your face. and you possibly would’ve if it wasn’t for draco slamming his door in your face, knocking you out of your trance.

all those study groups. all those times he cancelled or had some fishy excuse or couldn’t explain where he was- it was because of her. it all made sense. how stupid, you had thought. how could you not have known. it was so clear. blatantly staring you in the face.

that was the last time you spoke to him. that was months ago and still that moment replayed in your head endlessly. multiple times you had wondered to yourself why. why were you not good enough? why didn’t he just break up with you? how many times had he lied to you before? how long had their affair been going on?

you needed to stop making excuses for him. yes, you loved him. but did he love you? you thought back to the many times you had said it to him and he had never said it back. then, you hadn’t thought anything of it. you knew draco wasn’t one to open up easily. you knew it would take a considerable amount of time before he would say those three words and you were okay with that.

he probably loved her. all those times you lay in his arms he was probably thinking of her. all those times he had cancelled plans on you he was probably with her telling her how much he loved her.

you also thought back to what you would’ve done differently. in the moment you found out of him cheating and what you would’ve done differently in the relationship.

i made it to easy for him. i’m too easy.

i wasn’t satisfying him or his needs.

i shouldn’t have been too clingy.

if i were pure blood, he would’ve never left me.

this is all my fault.

the next school year...

it had been months since draco and you had broken up. you still stand by saying it hurting just as much. it hurts like hell. but you have come to terms with it. you’ve come to the realization that is wasn’t your fault. no mater what you did or didn’t do right in the relationship, it isn’t an excuse to cheat. he was the one who lied. he was the one who wasn’t loyal.

news broke out of you and dracos split like wild fire. everyone knew. you were officially up for grabs. many boys had made their way up to you in hopes to take you out. time after time you had rejected them politely. until cedric digory.

you and cedric had been friends for years. you were always fond of his company. walking through the train, looking through the windows, you stop once you see him. “may i join you?”

ever since then you and cedric started spending more and more time together. you didn’t love him but you think you could grow to. you could love him in a different way than draco.

i mean they were durastically different. although draco had always been sweet to you, he was incredibly rude to anyone else. cedric was kind to everyone. and he always seemed to have a smile on his face.

you scolded yourself for comparing the two boys. it wasn’t the first time you caught yourself doing it and most definitely not the last.

it now coming up on your one month with cedric, and your class had ended early. so you were making your way out the empty slytherin common room to meet him outside on his class.

that was the first time you and draco had made eye contact since all those months ago. he had grown quite well at avoiding you. you both stand there quietly like statues until he santurs over to you and stopping only a foot away. he had this aggressive look written all over his face.

“y/n. good to see you’re well. i’ve seen you around with digory lately.” he says formally. “yes. me and cedric have been seeing each other. i haven’t seen you around with astoria? have you hit a bump?” you say plainly with your hands on your hips.

he scoffs and starts walking away but you decide to follow him. “it’s good to know about cedric. you really get around, huh?” he says still walking. you grab his arm and twist him around so you are face to face. “what did you just say to me?”

“it’s unforgivable.” unforgivable? it he serious?

“i don’t remember asking for your forgiveness.”

“so is digory just a faze? who’s next? i heard blaze likes to sleep around.” he says laughing at his own joke, turning once again to walk away.

you run in front of him and grab him by one of his forearms. “you don’t get to call me a whore. when i met you, i thought i had found the person i was going to spend the rest of my life with.” you say with tears now building up in your eyes, “so all the boys. and all the bars. and all the obvious daddy issues. who cared? because i was done. you left me. you chose astoria. i’m all glued back together now. i make no apologies for how i chose to repair what you broke. you don’t get to call me a whore.”

you stares at you with his eyes wide and his mouth gaping. “draco!” you both hear in the distance. you turn to see astoria herself, only a few meters away. “you should go. your girlfriends calling.” you say and walk off.

after all the times you had imagined that moment, you never thought of how invigorating it would make you feel. you left him speechless and it felt damn good.

that night...

you lie awake staring at the ceiling. you felt like you could actually breath. for months, you were living on stored air but now you could actually breath.

you hear a soft knock on your door. you look to the clock reading 1:42, wondering who would be up at this hour. you open to see draco malfoy himself. he has bags under his eyes which you hadn’t noticed before. he pushes past you and let’s himself into your room.

“you were right earlier. and you deserve an explanation.” he says. you nod so he goes on. “when we were together i had been cheating on you for three months before you had found out.” three months? no that can’t be. you would’ve realized.

“and- and i was planning on telling you. but it never felt like the right time.” he said pulling at his hair in frustration.

“the right time? the right time would’ve been before you had even cheated on me. the right time would’ve been three months before i had found out.” you say crossing your arms.

“yeah, you’re right. you’re right.” he says and starts to pace your room. draco had never been the type to admit he’s wrong before so you can imagine how much damage this is actually doing to him.

“i love her, y/n. at first i thought it was just infatuation and i was going to fuck her once and take the secret to my grave but- but y/n, i love her.”

you turn as he’s talking so he doesn’t see the tears fighting to come out. he continues to talk as you cry silently, turned away from him.

“i’m sorry, y/n. i really did care for you.” and then you hear your door shut. you turn to realize you are once again standing in your bedroom alone.

i really did care for you

but he never loved you. he loved her.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Hello!

I hope that you're well!

I'm sorry to bother you and I don't even know if your ask is open but I have a little question (which ended up being a little long... I'm sorry for that...):

Why are Gai and Kakashi in a queer platonic relationship and not in a platonic relationship? Like why does it have to be queer? I don't understand... Like, it's just a normal platonic relationship no?

I'm sorry to bother you with that and I don't want to hurt anyone by asking that question (that's why I'm a coward and ask as anon) it's just that I am completely lost with all the terms because for me everyone is unique and has unique relationships with whoever they want as individuals and not as genders or whatever, and I don't personally see the point in using "categories" although I do understand the need for some people who don't fall into a category and feel rejected to belong to one and be appreciated for who they are...

But if we use the term queer as in strange or peculiar, I do think we all are queers since we're all unique... So, like, for me Gai and Kakashi are just in a platonic relationship which some could also define as deep friendship. but idk, that's why I'm confused about the queer term (to be honest my sister said I'm queer and even though I'm not sure what she meant I think it was because I have a very weird vision of things which doesn't fit the traditional norms of society...)

You don't have to answer me! It's really fine if you don't because I bothered you or because you find my question insulting or rude or anything.

I also wanted to say I love your writing and your ideas in general!

It's obviously not cannon. Cannonly, Kakashi and Gai are friends and that's all we ever see them referred to as. The story doesn't revolve around them so the snippets of their friendship we get are beautiful but minimule

Why do I think they're in a queer platonic relationship? The purpose of that term is to describe a relationship between platonic and romantic. One that stands out as different from what others in their society would view as 'strictly platonic' or 'romantic'. It of course doesn't have to be something everyone uses and you're just as valid saying 'they're relationship is platonic' cuz cannonly it is. That being said, when I look at their friendship I don't see the same platonic friendship I have with my bestie.

Kakashi' and Gai

Go on vacation together

As soon as Kakashi is finally free if Hokage duties and able to actually enjoy his retirement, what does he do? Does he relax in Konoha? Or just take a little trip on his own?

No, he goes on a detailed well planned vacation to see important places that hold special memories with one person. Gai. This isn't just a fun vacation with two best friends, but a deep and meaningful vacation. They have a goal to see amazing places that mean so much to them, and while the anime didn't really show it they do go to places like the filming spit for Icha Icha and you can see Gai's as happy to be there as Kakashi even though it's not his fav book

Gai eats Kakashi's none wanted food for him

Again, this could be totally platonic and mean nothing but the way Kakashi tells Mirai that Gai eats his tempura for him

Kakashi' is a picky eater. We see this over and over again, yet he still gets tempura with his food. Why get something you won't eat? Because your best friend will eat it for you. Kakashi's really sitting here with food on his plate he won't touch just so Gai can steal it from him. And when he's confronted about it he's like 'oh ya I don't like it so Gai eats it for me. He's nice like that'

Kakashi' would have chased a fairy tale to save Gai's leg

After the big bad is defeated and never reaches immortality by killing Mirai, we see Kakashi and Gai standing off to the side chatting. During this chat two things happen.

1) Kakashi admits that if there was someone telling him that there was a hot spring that could heal Gai's leg, he'd willingly go and hunt it down

2) Gai telling Kakashi 'i don't need my leg. I have you.'

In both these instances these men are showing a deep care for each other. Kakashi' would risk his life to give Gai his leg back, but Gai doesn't want his leg back. He doesn't miss it because all these years he has had Kakashi' by his side. Alive and happy. Is that super gooey and could be read as platonic? Yes. Could it also be read as deeply romantic and sweet? yes. Putting it somewhere in the middle cuz we know they're not a cannon romantic couple but they are closer. Like, I'm sorry I don't see Shikamaru saying that to Choji? Or Sakura to Ino? Not because they don't care but because their relationship is different. Kakashi's world revolves around Gai in a lot of ways and vice versa. They have built their lives around each other since the war, even living together.

This isn't the standard 'two best friends who have other spouses/friends'. By Boruto the only friend you really see these two interact with is each other. Everyone else is their old students. (And I am pissed about Yamato not being around cuz he deserved better than the shit he got)

They legit...sleep side by side

Look at this. Look at them. These two have a huge room to sleep in and not only are they side by side but their beds are overlapping

When Gai wakes up from a nightmare, he is able to calm down because of Kakashi's snoring.

Hatake Kakashi, nightmare mess, is able to sleep a peaceful night with Gai by his side.

This is borderline romantic af, but they're not a cannon couple. This isn't really something two friends would do (in my experience at least) and it's very rare to see two males friends depicted doing it. Like, Sasuke and Naruto are super close. They had the whole 'i will bear your burden and die with you' scene and I still don't think the anime or manga would ever show them actively sleeping this close to each other??? Kakashi' and Gai's relationship is depicted diffrently

At the end of the day, cannonly they're a platonic friendshiom

But I'm going to enjoy the fact that there are so many deeper more romantic linings to their friendship without them being a 'cannon couple' that I will call them a queer platonic relationship because by the standards of my society and their own around them

They don't fit strictly into platonic, and they're not romantic

They're somewhere in the middle, unexplained and a little weird to others but their bond is clear as day

And that's a queer platonic relationship to me

[pepprs]

im having so many thoughts i need to put them somewhere so here we go

i hate twitter so fucking much and i regret ever joining it and i want to delete all of the (dormant) accounts i have on there but im too scared to do it. that’s all

lately ivd been missing br*ghton a lot but im shy now and im scared to reach out to anyone and say hi 😔 yesterday i got so stressed and mad cuz this place is a wreck and i miss having a clean slate in my dorm w a mess that was manageable and that i was solely responsible for. and today i was thinking abt the farmers market and how i used to make my regular breakfast from home w all the same ingredients bht they tasted different cuz i was in another country and i didn’t like it at first but now i miss it a lot 😔 like the bread and everything was so good. also it’s absolutely bizarre to me that i like. walked around a city once. i took it for granted while i was there but it was only rly bc i was so anxious i couldn’t get my brain to slow down and soak it all in and now who knows if i’ll ever get to go back but like. i really really do miss it i would give anything to walk around town again. i had a dream the other night that i was on campus there in the main building and my dad was picking me up to take me to the airport for an emergency flight home bc of covid and it was like 4am and i ran out of the building and collapsed on the grass outside and just started crying and crying cuz i didn’t want to and i woke up and realized that basically happened to me i was just in my dorm and all alone and. lol

i have to make a post graduation plan and a timeline for my degree plan rn and i hate it so fucking much. activities and assignments that deal you the maximum amount of psychological torture

im like *makes my first discord server* *goes crazy* like i cant stop thinking abt it and it’s for work so i have to wait but like. i just wanna add ppl already so we can see how it works and setting up channels and everything is so fun. also i think discord could be a rly cool like... platform for art. like a server could function as a story or a poem or smth on there using read / write only channels or whatever and that’s ridiculously exciting to me but idk if id ever have the time to test that out

i keep saying all this shit in my degree plan abt poetry but i havent written since april i don’t think and im starting to wonder if im even like. good. also if i were to publish stuff that means the ppl i write abt would read my poetry abt them and that is SO profoundly unbearable i dont even have the words for it

it’s been almost a yr since my last haircut and idk what to do. i kinda stopped caring abt how long it is and i was just gonna get it cut when the world opens up again but now it’s looking like an IF the world opens up again so i might just have someone here do it or maybe do it myself although that would be bad. maybe on the anniversary of the day i flew to br*ghton lol

i have so many dishes to do and i don’t want to do them i just want to go to sleep WAHHHHH

[scrambled-eggsed]

1 + 2 for one of your WIPs?

1 - give short descriptions of all your current WIPs

Ahhhhhhh this might get slightly long so sorry in advance [I apologize for NOTHING]. They dont really have names so this is gonna be fun to keep track of

There's one that's basically almost autobiographical lmfao, where a genderqueer lesbian teenager is figuring himself out. It's really self indulgent bc the two main characters are the nb girl and her teacher, and they get p close, and the teen in basically in love with their best friend (romantically? Platonically? Who can say [=maybe I'll decide when i figure out my own feelings about my friend]), and her story mirrors the story of the teacher, who is in a qpr with another woman. Basically it's self indulgence about how i need a dependable adult figure in my life. I'm gonna move on to the rest cuz they're not nearly as depressing as this

Space pirates - i still haven't worked out everything but I'm thinking of maybe doing two parallel stories, where basically one group of overworked workers on a spaceship are considering a mutiny so as they're planning the thing they're telling the story of the first space pirate crew from earth to overthrow the captain of the spaceship and take command for themselves, and how they oparated and how those supposedly legendary people were actually just people. Like they have the auras of greek heros but all the stories people tell about them are actually about tenderness and care and the simple goodness of humanity

WITCHES - I'm still tryna figure out a plot that isn't entirely a The Owl House rip-off, but basically the world is where magic is fundamentally about a connection w nature. And not everyone has that connection and that's okay bc nature can't provide everything so there are essentially two coexisting societies with ties that benefit everyone (it's a utopia - witches basically have "shifts" in the fields to grow an infinite amount of food, and the non-witches give them essential products). When it comes to characters, the main character is a girl who comes from a non-witch family and basically Has The Connection With Nature (which is not uncommon) but her family is relatively conservative so she gets a lot of Looks and mild disapproval from them (yah this is basically a queer metaphor). And basically she goes to live with an old lesbian witch couple at the parallel witch town. And I'm thinking maybe the witchs' son will be a non-witch and will go live with the girl's family (thats also a queer metaphor although i haven't figued exactly how. Anyway he's gay. The witch girl is also gay)? Basically Found Family Shenanigans. But it's not exactly a plot yet

Magic World™ - i have a few ideas for stories in this world (maybe I'll just write a bunch of short stories? I dunno) but i really like this world!! Basically magic is entirely about curiosity and kindness. The world will literally sense your intentions and will not let you do anything Evil with magic. And there's this whole thing where if you become evil out of good intentions the world will not let you pass it on to anyone. So if you don't redeem yourself, the world will not let you have kids (as in, adoption basically - there's no biological reproduction [i started thinking about this when i was twelve okay]. If you want a kid, the world will sense that. And when the infallible world will sense that you're ready, you will just wake up one morning and there'll be a fucken baby outside). So every idea for a story i have in that world is basically about villians redemption arcs but fun ig? Listing all of them would genuinely take forever so im Not Gonna Do That Here. Also the way i explained the world is a bit rudimentary and there's more depth to it but it's hard to explain without a plot lmao

Seedbombing gone wrong - this is my most recent one i think. Basically a bunch of kids try to do seedbombing at school bc the school cut down a beloved tree and then there are So Many Flowers Just Everywhere bc the ground was Magical. Also one of the teacher is a witch/fairy and will explain shit to the kids. Idk i haven't thought a lot about this one but it's a fun idea for the future

My fucking god that was so long. Goddamn

2 - give short descriptions of the main character from one of your WIP

Well fortunately for those of you who decided to read this far i dont exactly have many fleshed out ideas for main characters. The only one from a story where the main character isn't literally me that i know what they're gonna be like is the captain of the legendary original space pirate spaceship from the space pirates story. Basically I'm imagining her like Lovelace from wolf 359 (a combination of her pre and after trauma. Also I'm only about halfway through the podcast so no spoilers) - so generally a fun person and cares deeply for her crew, but feels like everyone's fate rests on her shoulders and is dealing with So Much. Oh if the question was about physical description then idk really? I just know that she's gonna be a woc (it makes so much sense for the worldbuilding but i could talk about that for hours. In the same vein, she was also in prison at some point. Bc the system discriminates heavily and deliberately against people who were in prison. Again i could talk about that for so long lmao). Also she's gonna have a romantic arc with the ship's appointed doctor bc Tenderness and h/c. Cuz basically she needs to learn to let herself rest and what better way to do that than the cliché of a loved one pulling the doctor card on her

That got WAYYYYYYYY longer than i expected so sorry lmfao (fr tho i apologize for nothing)

[atlantic-riona]

modern Helen and Penelope, Sherlock, and Tempest Mac? (If you don't feel like doing all of these, please just pick your favorite--I'm just intrigued by ALL of these.)

ooh you managed to pick all the older ones! I am quite fond of these still, so I’ll do all three!

putting it all under a cut because it got quite long:

modern Helen and Penelope was a modern AU (as the name suggests), but there were still gods and magic and heroes, plus a bunch of other mythologies were included as well. basically, the plot sort of revolved around Helen, who’s going to be in an arranged marriage, deciding to abscond with Paris, which kicks off a whole bunch of other things (I don’t quite remember the details anymore, but I do distinctly remember that the Irish heroes got involved somehow, and the...uhhh...well, some other heroes got involved too but I never wrote any of their names down, so 😅). but it also revolved around Odysseus and Penelope falling in love, which I’m a sucker for. in honor of that, here’s the part I wrote with Odysseus:

Her heart skips a beat as she realizes who she’s looking at, and she hastens to finish before Helen catches on. “With—what’s his name, Odysseus, I think.”

“The island king’s son?” Helen sounds disinterested, and Penelope silently thanks any gods listening. “I can’t remember—is he one of the good-looking ones? They’ve all become a blur.”

“He—” Penelope’s tongue, usually so nimble, stutters to a halt. All she has to do is say no, and her cousin will move on. But she can’t bring herself to lie. Not about him.

Helen watches with growing interest as Penelope makes a few inarticulate sounds before subsiding into a blushing silence. “You know what? Maybe I should refresh my memory. Come on, cuz.”

She strides away, moving with easy confidence as Penelope, her stomach filled with dread, follows. 

Her cousin has the ability to be seen or to be Seen. In other words, there are times like now, where the two of them pass through crowds with barely a second glance from anyone, and then there are times when Helen is the center of any room she walks into. And she can switch back and forth with ease.

Odysseus and his friend are bent over a table covered with hastily drawn maps and pretzels acting as soldiers. Someone nearby laughs, loudly, and her heart pounds in her ears. Odysseus is shorter than the other boy, but has broader shoulders. Recklessly, Penelope decides that despite the other boy’s good looks and easy smile, Odysseus has a far better smirk. Neither of them look up as the girls approach.

“So you see, the king really ought to have placed his troops there.”

“Ah, but have you considered,” says Odysseus, picking up another pretzel and eating it, “that the river was too exposed for a stand against the invaders? At the time, the forest seemed the better option.”

Helen leans over to look at the maps. “Goodness,” she says airily, as if the very sight of the battle maps are too much for her, although Penelope has played enough strategy games with her cousin to know that Helen would wipe the floor with anyone at this table, not including Penelope herself. “All those pieces look so very lonely. Surely you cannot win a war with so few soldiers?”

“Well, they represent battalions, not individual soldiers,” says Odysseus absently, and then he looks up.

From the way that he and his friend become still, it’s clear that Helen wishes to be Seen. They’re transfixed, the way one stares at a comet or tornado. Penelope might as well be the air, for all they see her.

In a fair world, Penelope might have been considered beautiful.

In that world, Helen would have to not exist.

As it is, Penelope contents herself with being considered wise beyond her years, although wisdom seems a poor consolation prize in moments like these.

“Helen,” Odysseus says finally. He clears his throat. “Aren’t you supposed—”

She reaches out and covers his hand with her own. “Oh, that. Being cooped up all day is no fun, I tell you. So I convinced Penelope to take me here with her.” Odysseus’ gaze drifts to Penelope. He has very lovely brown eyes. Helen clearly doesn’t care for the shift in his attention, for she laughs prettily and Penelope does not exist again. “Let’s keep this our little secret, shall we? And by that I mean don’t tell my father.”

Odysseus nods slowly. He looks around, up, down, and finally settles on asking, “Won’t you sit down?”

“Oh, you’re so thoughtful,” Helen says, and promptly does. The other boy does as well, which leaves only the one seat—Odysseus’. 

“You and Penelope will have to share,” Helen observes, sharp gaze trained on her cousin.

Penelope takes a deep breath. “I’ll stand, thanks.”

may actually pick this one up in the future, idk

Sherlock was a mini-play I wrote for my high school; they were doing a play (with Sherlock Holmes) that needed a “fake start,” one that was really ridiculous, so I wrote one for them that I thought might fit the bill. I have a lot of favorite ridiculous moments but here are a few:

SHERLOCK (abruptly): How’s Mary?

WATSON: //children...oh, Mary’s fine, she’s fine - so’s Henry’s two little sisters, Emma and Jane. Right terrors they are. Twin disasters, you might say. (He chuckles.)

SHERLOCK: Twins?

WATSON: How did you -

SHERLOCK: Your enjoyment in that atrocious and badly delivered pun gave up the game.

HENRY: The kids nowadays call that a dad joke.

---

HOLMES: You took your time slinking out from the woodwork again, my old enemy.

MORIARTY looks embarrassed. 

MORIARTY: I had to make tenure. My apologies for delaying our little games, Holmes.

HOLMES: Quite understandable. You cad.

MORIARTY: I deserved that one, I’m afraid. But not anymore than that, Holmes!

HOLMES: I apologize. I had to get it out of my system.

MORIARTY: Of course.

---

HOLMES: To answer your question…

He realizes that he doesn’t know her name.

HOLMES: ...er, dear, Moriarty is in fact about to offer us tea.

MORIARTY: Quite right. I put the kettle on before you woke up. Two sugars as usual, Holmes?

HOLMES: Once again you try to trick me, old enemy. You know perfectly well that I drink it black.

MORIARTY snaps his fingers.

MORIARTY: Foiled again, Holmes!

it was meant to be really bad, because Holmes (the real one for the play) comes out and demands to know what Watson (the real one for the play) is writing, at which point the actual play would start 😂😂

Tempest Mac is, I think, the only sci-fi story I’ve ever written?? it’s about this little girl in the future, in space, who’s Catholic and who meets an alien, while also solving important mysteries (like where the cookie jar went 😂😂)

that...was pretty much all the plot I had planned out, I think

but here’s what I had:

Someone had moved the cookie jar again.

Tempest Mac made a thoughtful face as she considered the scene of the crime. Then she went and fetched a tall stool, a flashlight, and a thick book detailing the customs and mannerisms of the Hazien people (which she was only a quarter of the way through, having only started at breakfast this morning). One never knew what might come in handy.

Just as she had gotten the book settled in place on the countertop, with one foot balanced neatly on the stool and the other on the book, and was peering into the highest cupboard with the flashlight, a shrill, startled voice rang out behind her. “Tempest! What on Earth do you think you’re doing?”

“Finding the cookie jar, Aunti,” Tempest replied calmly, still shining the flashlight into the cupboard. In addition, they weren’t on Earth, they were on Haz—a few hundred lightyears away—so really, Aunti should have said, ‘What on Haz do you think you’re doing?’ but she knew when to let things go. “Somebody’s moved it again.”

“You don’t need a cookie right now, you’ve just had lunch,” her aunt scolded, lifting her off the stool and onto the ground without hardly any effort. “Wait until after dinner.”

“I don’t want a cookie, I want to know who keeps moving the cookie jar,” Tempest protested, but Aunti paid her no heed and sent her out of the kitchen to water the small garden out back.

Tempest Mac was six years old, small of stature, and what some people referred to as ‘precocious.’ Tempest gently argued with these people that no, she wasn’t precocious, she simply thought thoughts in a sensible way. Nevertheless, her grave eyes, quiet way of asking commonsense questions, and aptitude at reading far above her age level made the debate moot, as far as people were concerned.

Most people would rather chalk up things and people who don’t appear to make sense at first as anomalies, rather than investigate further. But then, this is because many people see the world like a black ink stamp pattern on a clean sheet of paper—easy, simple and pretty, in an orderly, bureaucratic sort of way. If the world is ordered and lovely in its organization, then so too can lives and people be the same way. If the world is a jumbled, chaotic, sloppy finger-painting done by an overenthusiastic four year old, then it is much harder for people to convince themselves that their lives may be ordered and simplistic. Such is life.

There’s a reason “Aunti” is spelled the way it is, but for the life of me I can’t remember why

[paramounticebound]

Plots please lmaooo cuz yknow we always need a minimum of 10 more

⤏ send me “plots please” ... || @vuulpecula​ asked for this || probably accepting.

A read more to save the dash:

i. 

okay but CLONE WARS ERA FOX & KHAN

The height of his life-- primed for battle, and failing spectacularly at bending to the rules. He's getting awfully tired of being treated like something less-- he's better. His brothers are better. Instead of being cast away, frozen in stasis for centuries like in his main SW verse, he fights through the Clone Wars up to and through Order 66. 

Padawan and Clone Commander Fox is too young for this-- too young to be leading such an elite group of clones especially. But that’s how the galaxy is: unfair, cruel. It is how they meet, and despite Khan’s best efforts, he does begin to care for the Jedi, though ultimately he cannot understand why supposed peace keepers are now militant agents. By the reckoning of Order 66, Khan’s already pushed away from the Republic in all but distance, having already removed his biochip in preparation of defecting. He’s able to protect Fox from the order, though at the greatest cost: his brothers. 

The two escape into the underbelly of Coruscant, lying low, attempting to reconcile with a new Imperial reign and the chaos of the galaxy. 

Okay, so this is more of a situation than a plot but WE CAN WRITE IT OUT OKAY?

Bonus: Sith Lord Alexei knows about Khan and has a special hatred for him for reasons

ii.

Princess/Rebellion leader of Ruushya SW thing:

Likely the only time that Khan would ever give more than zero fucks about either side. This time it’s because he’s a refugee himself, having defected from the Clone Army, finding his way to Ruushya as a means to decipher just what it means to live his own life. 

But despite himself and all of the rage he holds, he can’t always remain apathetic in the face of tyranny. As the separatists continue to encroach on the planet, he’s drawn into battle once more. After one particular instance that reminds him that loss is a constant of war-- for everyone-- he begrudgingly joins Fox’s rebellion. 

This is just a bare bones idea, sorry.

iii. 

Another 1920′s au, but instead of a bootlegger/gang leader, Khan is a WW1 vet that became a wolf of wall street, coping with stress and PTSD alike by drinking (illegally) and consorting with flappers and women of the night. 

And what if, what if, Fox is a flapper or a woman of the night or anyone really that he’d stumble across-- and they knew each other from the war, but were separated. :’)

Extra angst points for experiencing the Wall Street bombing together too, and all of the terrible war memories it would conjure up.

iv. 

College professor and teaching assistant au. My garbage heart lives for this and every detail can be discussed sfklsdjf

v. 

Preacher-inspired southern gothic au:

Khan is an escapee from a cult that somehow, against all odds, found himself still holding faith in something greater than him. At least-- for a while. The horrors of the world and the demons of his own past erode his faith over time, and he copes with alcohol and chain-smoking, though still manages to give his sermons every Sunday. One of his congregations most faithful is Alexei Alkaev, who also remains a thorn in his side with his constant need to pray at the altar after hours. Khan knows there’s something off about the man, but he ignores it in favor for his daughter, Fox, who is likely the last person a failed preacher should have eyes for. 

As an interesting side note, Khan escaped his cult because everyone else that was in it is dead. There weren’t any leads, and although he was the only survivor, nothing could be concretely died back to him. Not really a great ice breaker.

vi. 

The Master of the Vanishing House: another eldritch/horror au that’s obscure and strange but here we are. 

Legends are told of a decrepit house that appears and vanishes at will among the Russian hinterlands. Locals from the nearby villages, the closest that the house allows itself to be, warn children and strangers alike to stay away. The house has been in existence longer than legend can recall, seemingly without beginning, shaping itself to the architecture of the era. 

And those that are curious enough, foolish enough, to venture inside of the bizarre structure? They disappear into the darkness and are never heard from again-- and shortly after the house has had its fill, it too vanishes again, only to reappear when hunger wills it. 

Stories are only stories until they become real. 

Sasha and Fox know of the legends, and with that cutting edge of youthful bravery, still sought ought the house. Whether or not it would appear was never something they’d planned-- the adventure, running through snowy forest like creatures that might have been free, was the only true intent. 

So, when it appeared just behind a snowdrift, half-hidden behind trees, they hadn’t known what to do. At least, not for long.

Sasha went first, with Fox mere yards behind-- she’d paused on the steps to the house. With a valor only children know, he’d tested the structure, hovering near the entrance despite his friend’s hesitance. As he approached the door, hand only just hovering above the handle-- then a click, and it opens of its own accord. Darkness, pure and raw and otherwordly, meet him from inside. Light cannot seem to penetrate. Sasha swallows, turns to look back at Fox, by then it’s too late. He’s all but swept back into the darkness, the door slamming shut behind him. No matter of pounding on the doors or windows will give her entrance, and when Fox runs back to find help-- anyone--- it’s already too late. 

The house has vanished. 

Obsessed with the house, with finding whatever evil had stolen her friend, Fox waits and waits and waits. She’s twenty years older (or w/e idk) when it reappears, and this time, she will be allowed to enter.

Cliff notes: 

- Khan is the master of the vanishing house-- as in, the house itself is not an entity, but rather a “trap” set by him. He needs the life force of his victims to continue, but he’s a dying creature, too ancient for the modern world with people less and less inclined to chase after urban legends. 

- He’s likely a K’n-yan and an abandoned avatar of Nyarlathotep: this is why his power has dwindled significantly as well, though it opens up more of a path to redemption (if we want that lmao)

- There’s unless the concept of cosmic beings looking for a spouse but that would be weird (.... unless??)

- anyway there’s a lot more that could be added: Fox escapes the house but is now ‘haunted’ by a lesser cosmic entity because his house is gone lmao; Sasha is somehow still alive but likely pretty scarred (and/or unaged); etc, etc

[angst-in-space]

1, 2, 4-11, 13-18, 20-22, 24, 25, 27-35, 37-48, 50 👍💕💖

holy shit alex

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

my first fic was altea rising and yes i’d still reread it today bc 1) i’m still writing it lmao, 2) i only started it two years ago dkfdj

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

if we’re not counting fic updates i guess the most recent thing i finished was my piece for @extrasolarzine (WHICH I’M GONNA FINALLY POST A PREVIEW OF THIS WEEK...AAH)!! and well, again i’ve only been writing fic for a couple years but...hmm idk, i mean this piece is very action-y and that’s something i used to have very little confidence about, so i’d like to think that’s something i’ve improved upon! 

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

ha i mean i know for a fact that “if the silence was a song” is my most popular fic both in terms of hits/kudos....it also seems to be the one people rec the most and the one i most often get the reaction of “wait, YOU wrote that??” sdkfjd

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

answered!

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

nah not really, i’m pretty happy with all my fics lol...i guess there’s parts of them that could be better but none of them make me like Truly Embarrassed

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

answered!

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

i guess it’s altea rising since i haven’t updated it in like three months haha, but uhh don’t worry it’s coming! (as in i’m super close to Finally finishing a draft of the next chapter heh heh)

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

nope! i’ve only written fic for voltron 

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

also no....i binge-read a ton of voltron fics the summer it came out and then started a fic of my own! 

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

i figure everything has been done before in one way or another so that’s something i try not to sweat it too much about. i try to be original, but there’s also a lot of popular tropes i like so it’s fun to take those and try to make them my own somehow!

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

answered!

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

i’m not sure if this refers to reading or writing fic but...i guess in general i’m a lot pickier now than i was at the beginning of the fandom?? like i remember at the beginning i’d just kinda read whatever was popular but over time i’ve developed a much better sense of what i will and won’t like lol, and i p much only read things written by friends and/or rec’d to me by friends. 

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

not really?? in fact i seem to gravitate more towards my super long complicated aus even knowing they’re not gonna gain as much attention lol.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

no i’m a masochist so i continue writing the aforementioned super long complicated aus even when it feels like i’m just dropkicking updates into the void lmao. but tbh even if literally no one was reading my multichap fics i’d probs still write them bc they’re fun to write and i love them a lot, so!!

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

ha i mean, again i like all my fics and i’m happy i wrote them all but...i guess probably “a truth in the blood”? dgmw i still like that one a lot and i’m glad a lot of people enjoyed it, i’m just not as like emotionally attached to it as i am to my other fics (probs cuz i wrote it in like two weeks haha). 

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

ummm i’d say it’s defo “the stars are bound to change.” idk man like i really poured my soul into that one and it’s so rare someone tells me it’s their fave....i have this particular soft spot for it that whenever someone tells me they love that one i’m like *SOBS*...THANK YOU.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

probably not?? there’s some things i’d probs change a bit in some of my fics but there’s nothing that i would rewrite completely.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

i gotta admit i don’t think i’ve ever done that...? i usually don’t start looking at someone’s fics unless they’ve been rec’d to me or like unless we’ve become friends and i then find out they write fic.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

answered!

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

i’ve never gotten a truly mean review really. *knocks on wood* i think the only slightly negative one i can think of off the top of my head was someone who complained about the end of “the stars are bound to change” and said it was too abrupt but...i don’t think they intended it to be super malicious or anything, and like, i get it bc i wasn’t 100% happy with the ending either. but oh well can’t win ‘em all. 

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

again i haven’t really gotten much negativity or criticism in comments so uh...*shrugs* and i’m p good at taking constructive criticism i was a creative writing major sdkdj

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

i’ve only ever written single-fandom fics and don’t have a desire to ever write a crossover fic so lol. 

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

i mean i guess voltron bc it’s the only fandom i’ve written fic for anyway and klance still owns my ass, so... 

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

....i only read/write voltron fic pretty much so uh n/a haha

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

again i’ve only written voltron fic and yeah i’m still writing it even though i’m not watching the show anymore. what can i say, a bitch loves klance and that bitch is me!! 

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

answered!

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

also answered!

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

not that i can think of...there’s been a couple times i’ve decided partway through a fic to include some side-pairing later on in the background, but it’s not really unintentional, just that i didn’t plan on it from the beginning. 

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

i wouldn’t say “bashed” per se but uh i do often really stress on shiro & keith having a brotherly relationship although that’s more out of the fear of people interpreting it the wrong way... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

i....no. why would i do that?? dlkfjdk

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

a sort of small one but yeah! 

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

yes and no...i write a lot but it’s mostly just piling more and more into my multichaps. kinda wish i wrote more short oneshots but oh well.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

i only post on ao3 so yeah.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

“if the silence was a song” with 23,744 hits whew!! 

43. Your least popular?

“a million little pieces” (the fic i wrote for lancito) it only has 349 hits rip.... (i mean it’s a gen fic and only like 2k words long so i get it but sdlkfjd)

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

i’m a little confused by the wording of this lol, but uh if i’m understanding the question correctly...i think it’s about even? although tbh i’ve been slacking a lot in my fic reading lately, but in general i try to support other fic authors as much as i can! 

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

answered!

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

i’m not sure if this means like in terms of diverse content/genres or in terms of like character diversity but i’d like to say yes to both?? i like moving around between different genres, also i care a lot about character diversity and representation so yeah! 

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

i mean this has happened to me before and i’m like “sure lol.” it depends on the person but probs i would have them read “a million little pieces” or maybe “a truth in the blood” since those are the shortest and uhhh the least shippy lol. 

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

yeah i’m an annoying bitch who can’t shut up about writing fic so p much all my friends/fam know i write it hahaha. and uhh i have a couple irl friends who are in the same fandoms as me but not a lot.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

answered!

aaaaand now i think i’ve officially answered all the questions for this meme lmao

fanfic author ask meme

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #168

“i’ve wished for this, i’ve bitched at that, i’ve left behind this little fact: you cannot kill what you did not create.”

Which internet browser do you use? Chrome. Have you ever lived on a university campus? Nope. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? *The* ex, when I was going through old photos on my Mom's FB looking for something. Do you play any games on your phone? DragonVale and Pokemon GO. Have you ever shaved your face? Only above my lip every now and then to avoid that dreaded lady-stache. :') What color is your front door? White. What was the last vaccination you got? Couldn't tell ya. When was the last time you were at a party? A year ago. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, or bitch? The only two I can think of are bitch and martyr. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this favorite rapper? Eminem, "Love The Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? Gah you know the story, I'll just do Ozzy for this one. Hard to say. "See You On The Other Side" probably wins, but "Mama I'm Comin' Home" is on its heels. Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? Juan, probably. What’s your television addiction? I don't watch TV of my own volition, but I'd be happy to watch The Good Doctor. Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Nothing worse than just getting braces tightened. Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? Dad again to his face about how wicked I was to him and am so thankful he forgave me. I just haven't because I want that in the past and I'd probably break down anyway. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? Idk. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? That's my gf, no, I'd lose my mind. Can you make yourself sneeze? No. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? Meh... I think it's better I don't. How has your style changed since you were in high school? Not really. What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? Dunno. What’s the most Lisa Frank-worthy article of clothing you own? Nothing, really. What color is the rim around your full-length mirror? Black. What is your favorite way your hair has ever looked? How it is now. What are five things you are good at? Interacting with animals, being there for people, writing I'd like to think, being a great beast mastery hunter in WoW like 1v1 me bro, and uhhhh panicking over the most minute things. What are five things you are bad at? COMMUNICATING, initiating conversation, arguing w/o crying, understanding finances/economics, and math. Do you enjoy drawing at all? I do, but I rarely do it because I'm way too critical and get annoyed. And fixing mistakes cleanly can be hard. I want a drawing tablet one day hopefully in the near future, because I feel like I'd be more motivated to do it.  Quickly fix errors. What was the last thing you were frustrated with yourself about? Oh boy, idk. This is so common. Do you have unusual sleeping/waking hours? No. In your personal opinion, which hair color is the most beautiful? Probably blonde with some darker highlights I guess, if we're talking about natural colors. Actually, for girls, maybe red. How about eyes? Sapphire. Last sporting event you watched? Dance recital. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? HA no. Do you listen to music while driving? It has to be quiet or I can't concentrate. What’s your favorite style of jeans? (Skinny, boot cut, flare, etc) Skinny. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Who was the last person you had sex with? Or are you a virgin? Jason. Are you Italian? No. Would you ever go vegan? There's no way I could survive. Where’s the nearest GameStop near you? Like... 10-15 minutes? Have you had an argument with anyone recently and if so, do you still have issues with that person? Sara, but only because I said something stupid. No, I have zero issues with her. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person? Colleen, girl scouts. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? Cleaning the animals' cages. Don't have anything to put them in so I hold them while Mom cleans it. Unfair to her, I know, but I can't do both and Mom doesn't seem to mind, plus she wouldn't hold any of them. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? Teddy being a goof. Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? No. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid like fuck off. Describe the 'look’ you did the last time you wore makeup. Uhhh mildly winged liner, black eyeshadow, black lips. If you got pregnant the 1st time you had sex, how old would the kid be now? I don't remember when it was 'cuz I've said before I didn't really. Realize it was sex until literally this year when I looked back on it. But anyway, six-ish. Have you ever polished and waxed your car? N/A As a kid, did you have any friends with parents who yelled a lot? Don't think so. What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? ODing. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? No. What are some of your least favorite foods? BEANS, mushrooms, asparagus, brussel sprouts, cherries, nuts, etc. etc. etc. I'm picky as hell. Do you give your pets gifts and treats for their birthday/adoption day? Only Teddy 'cuz I actually know his rip. Has anyone ever set you up on a blind date? If so, how did it go? No. Do you believe your ex cares about you? The only ex I feel /sincerely/ does is Girt. What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? Idk. What would be your most ideal profession? Meerkat biologist. What kind of rides do you enjoy the most at amusement parks? Kinds that don't make me fear vomiting. What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone? Weight. Where do you carry the things you need with you when leaving the house? Pocketbook. What’s the last thing you made with your hands? Uhhhh a drawing? Have you ever been physically or mentally abused? How did it affect you? No. Do you consider yourself a vengeful person? If so, why’d you think that is? Not in the least. Do you own any accessories with your name or initial on them? I have a "B" necklace somewhere from someone, but. Never wear it. Are you nervous/anxious, for any reason at all? Nah. For once. What was the last compliment you received from the opposite sex? Dad said I looked great when I got in the car to go to the theater. Have you ever been to an orchard? No. :c What are your plans for Halloween? I've no clue. :/ Do you plan on carving a pumpkin this year? Yeah. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. What’s your favorite kind of apple? Red. Do you like to roast marshmallows? Yeah. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? N/A When was the last time you stayed in a hotel? Where was it? Shit, not since a dance competition at the beach years ago. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Like twice because I was invited. Who was the last family member of yours that died? Idk. Who was your favorite president? Not educated enough on this. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: I believe ham, cheese, and mustard. The last time the weather was just the way you like it: Been a long time. The last time you apologized and the last time you received one: I dunno. I say "sorry" like obsessively, but a serious apology, idk. To me, either Mom or Sara. Do you have a smartphone or a dumb phone, or no phone? Smartphone. Do you own any tapestries, and if so, what’s on it/them? No. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? No. What types of churches do you find really boring? All of them. On what day is your local grocery store the busiest? I would guess the weekend? What day do you usually go grocery shopping? I don't, Mom does. She doesn't have a regular day. What devotional do you read, if any? None. What is your favorite color for cars? Burnt orange. Have you ever tried writing with the opposite hand? How good/bad was it? Yeah, not good. Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Milk/brown. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? That's fucking evil. No. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? Mom's cousin or something. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? I DON'T NEED ONE LIKE ONE OF THE THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO MOST WITH LOSING WEIGHT IS NOT HAVING TRISHA PAYTAS TITS. Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Me. Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? No. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? My very first "boyfriend" I think actually is. I'd be stunned if Juan, Girt, and especially Jason came out, although Jason would make me fucking cackle. Boy could I say some shit about that. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? Nah son. Have you ever lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend? I've never told a serious lie, but I'm sure I've told like minuscule ones ("I'm fine," etc.) every now and again. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? Yup. Minority opinion, but. When was the last time you were on a city bus? Never. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Have you ever burned an ant with a magnifying glass? No. Have you ever had an ant farm? Maybe? I had a lot of those little animal kit things as a kid, like frogs and butterflies. Have you ever had crabs, turtles, or lobsters? Hermit crabs. Briefly turtles. Has anyone ever told you you’re too young for something? No, I think? Maybe. What about for someone? No. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Literally once when it wasn't even dirty???? Why did I do that??????????? Has a younger person ever confided in you as an adult? Yeah. Have you ever felt responsible for someone’s death? No. Who knows your biggest secret and why did you tell them? No one. What’s your best memory with your ex? Aaron: group skating rink date. Juan: I'm not sure, probably making him play a Just Dance game with me lmao. Jason: That's like impossible to say with how long we were together. But a time that will always stand out for me is when we were playfighting, I came storming into the kitchen, big time slipped in the middle of "yelling," and he caught me and we laughed for like a full minute. Tyler: Nothing, really. Girt: He was reading a memento in Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs, and I'll say the writing is very unique, and he got to one sentence he read in THE most incredulous voice, and I spat my drink e v e r y w h e r e. I deadass laughed/cried for like ten minutes and still had outbursts afterwards. It was one of those "you had to be there" things. The last time you felt insulted/offended: Dunno. The last time you held a baby: Over a month ago when I had to hold Keegan for whatever reason. The last form you filled out: Something for my new doctor. The last video game you played: So here's a super weird fact about me; as a kid, I loved hunting games, all the while even then hating hunting for sport irl. Not a clue clue why. I recently got more "back" into gaming and I'm working on beating Dangerous Hunts again. What is your favorite type of cat? Persians. What religion were you raised in? Are you still that religion, if you had one? Roman Catholicism, and no. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Wiccan and Buddhism. What heritage does your last name imply? Scottish. Recently, what artists/bands have you been listening to a lot? Powerwolf, Mother Mother. Do you know any HTML coding? No. Has anyone ever called you rich? HA as if. What makes you feel beautiful? lol How many bathrooms are in your house? One. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? March, Illinois. Hopping on one again tomorrow!! Are you considered a very sensitive person? Probably by those who know me well. I know I am. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Dad, yeah. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? Being called a martyr still hurts, and that was like two years ago. When was the last time you cried out loud in front of someone? Mom around a week ago or something. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? Yeah. What do you normally drink when eating at a restaurant? Mtn. Dew if Pepsi products, otherwise Coke. Have you ever been in a car accident? One. Are you currently in a happy relationship? YEAH!!!! Do you normally have nightmares or good dreams? Neither. Just weird. What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion? OH WOW I AM *NOT* THE PERSON TO ASK. I really don't know. I've made my opinion on the subject pretty clear, and if the abortion wasn't for your own mental and/or physical health and rather you just not wanting to face the consequences of your actions, idk if I could go. Have you ever had a deep conversation with someone who was high on anything? No. Are you experiencing problems within a current friendship? No. Ever made yourself throw up? No, I fear vomiting too much to ever. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason. When at a fast food place, do you usually order a small, medium, or large drink? Medium. Do you dip your pretzels in anything? No. When was the last time you started a new medication? Recently for knee pain. What is your favorite type of nut? None. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? Literally Domino's lmao. Do you know what year your parents married? No. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yeah. Do you prefer loose leaf tea or teabags? You know my opinion on tea. What is your favorite place to get Chinese food? I dunno the name of the place Mom goes. Do you part your hair to the side? It's parted far to the left. Is winter your least favorite season? No, it's my second-favorite! Do you know someone who’s a stripper? No. Are you sitting in a spinning chair? No, I'm in bed. When’s the next time you’ll go to a haunted house? I've never been to a "real" one but would LOVE to. How old is too old to trick-or-treat? I really don't care. Honestly believe there's no magic age where it's no longer okay. I still would if not for societal expectations. Have you ever caught a firefly? Yes. Do you own any camouflage? No. What's the next really important thing you have to do? Get to my flight on time. Are you looking forward to anything? T O M O R R O W  A P P R O A C H E S How late is too late for coffee for you? I don't drink coffee. Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. How about a novel? If so, could you give us the synopsis of the plot? Yeah, as a kid. It was about a family of meerkats of different "breeds" (dragon, fire, ice, etc.) plagued by their king's brother as well as the prince finding love. That's all I remember of it. Who is considered the "black sheep" of your family? Why? Lol me. I'm just pretty different from like everyone with "problematic" traits. What's a color you hate? Puke green. What's an odor you hate? Old garbage. What's a sound you hate? Babies screaming omfg. What's something you'd never ever dare to ask another person? Hmmm. Probably if they've ever been raped or molested. What's something you've always wanted to ask someone but haven't dared? OKAY. So I coulda sworn one of my best high school friends was pregnant in middle school, before I talked to her at all. Then I believe I saw her with her baby once when we were in the gym for something. When we became friends, she never spoke of having a child and most certainly didn't look a bit like she'd had a baby. I never wanted to ask because you know the stigma of teen pregnancy. What is a song you cannot stand? Any country song where the singer has that godawful southern-as-hell twang. What's the worst/best thing you've done without your parents knowing? *shrugs* If you wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like? Idk, I haven't looked at my earrings in a long time. Have you ever won any money from a scratch card? Like a dollar or so on the rare occasion my parents bought one. How about a slot machine? No. Do you like playing bingo? Sure. What's been the best thing you've found at a flea market? I love this little dragon figure I have. Oh, and my shipwreck lamp! Do you ever glance at people's butts? I'm a sucker for ass tbh okay. Like I'm not a dick that's gonna stare, but I'm guilty of glances, sure. What's something that catches your eye about other people? Their style. What's a random funny scene from a movie that has stuck with you? The first thing that came to my mind is from the Scooby movie where the girl introduces herself as Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name" lmao. Oh, the things you miss as a kid. Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? I avoid it as much as possible. Have your parents ever disapproved of the person you're dating? No. What kind of things do you collect? Right now, just meerkat and Silent Hill stuff. YouTuber merch will happen when I can afford to buy it myself ha ha. Do you have a thing for body hair? No opinion. Not too into heavy back or chest hair, but still, don't really care. Is there anyone into you that you have no interest in? No clue if Girt still likes me, but if so, I don't reciprocate the feeling romantically. What's the longest you've slept for? Like 11 hours, maybe? Do your parents have a bad relationship with anyone? Not especially other than between each other. Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No. Do you prefer the color pink or blue? Pink. What's the last chore you did? Vacuumed. Have you ever had pet mice? Rats. What is your godmother's name? I don't think I have one. What's the last party you went to? A year ago at Summer's. Have you ever been to a jungle? No. What is your favorite jungle animal? Tigers! When did you first find yourself attracted to someone? I dunno. Elementary school. If you met a genie, what would you wish for? Financial stability, world peace, cure for Alzheimer's/dementia. Have you ever ran away from home? For like two hours or less. Is your father injured? No. He has a bad back, but. Would you be willing to die protecting your country? Like in the military or something? No. Have you ever dated someone from a different country? For less than a day. Are you part Native American? Not that I know of. What are your pets' names? Teddy, Bentley, Roman, Venus, Kaiju, and Mitsu. Do you like to go hunting? NONONONONONO. I'd have a hard time doing it even for survival. Have you ever worked two jobs? No. Who is the oldest sibling in your family? Katie. What are some of your happy thoughts? Being with Sara, imagining a positive future, remembering all I've endured and conquered, etc. etc. What's your favorite pattern for clothes? Plaid, I suppose? Do you ever wear fur? No. Who is the worst boss you've ever had? Why? N/A What are the names of the all the dogs you've ever owned? Trigger, Angel, Teddy, Dale, Delilah, Harley, Cali, and Bentley, I think. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. When did you last ride a bike? Years ago. What did you last ask your parents permission for? Uhhh. I dunno. Oh, actually, I was thinking of spending a day with Dad, and I wanted to know if it would bother Mom. She said no, but I don't believe her. I didn't do it, though. Why were you in a waiting room the last time? Psychiatrist appointment yesterday. What's your lawyer's name? I don't have one. Do you own a lot of scarves? Do I even own any??? Would you ever get a face tattoo? No. What kind of car did you take your drivers test in? Haven't taken it. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? I wouldn't know, I don't pay it. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Holy shit, Sara. What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? Who even knows. What crime from history fascinates you most? No clue. Who do you think was the worst criminal in history? Maybe Saddam Hussein. Who has the weakest set of values in your family? Idk. What is the most disturbing sound you know of? Bones cracking. What's the shortest amount of time between orgasms you've ever experienced? N/A Which laws would you most like to change? Off the top of my head, we. Need. More. Gun. Fucking. Control. I'm not for a ban of firearms, but jfc, it's too easy to purchase a goddamn killing machine. What the oldest you'd like to live? 80, maybe? After that I can just imagine poor health that would really suck. Which sibling is or was favored most by your parents? I actually think it's me, tbh. Mom and I have an incredibly strong bond and have serious history, and Dad's and mine is very deep and definitely as a kid was the storybook father/daughter relationship, and now that we're reunited, I think we both cherish each other more. What's the biggest surprise you've ever had in bed? Waking up in the middle of the night to Jason groping my boobs. Who is the person you most wanted to have an affair with but didn't? I've never wanted that. Who have you most feared in your life? Dad. What would make you go insane the fastest? Losing Sara for the same reason as Jason. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? I'm not sure. What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? I guess you have the right to be selfish if you're put at risk. You come first. What would you most like to hear from your father? He's proud of how far I've come. What one natural thing would you most like to see? Maybe a volcano erupt from a safe distance. What has been the single most important influence on your life? The breakup. What is the most worthy cause on earth? Seeing all life as equal and actually acting on that. Caring for one another. What would you most easily be driven to kill for? Sara's safety.

[luna-orlha]

Author Meme

@kakawaifu tagged me

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean.

More than a decade ago, (give and take 16 years) my favourite fandom was Chrono Cross and my favourite character was Orlha. And that is how it all started.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favorites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)

Most feedback would be ‘What about Love’. Although ‘Champagne Supernova’ and ‘Friendships and Betrayals’ are a the running second.

3. What is your FFNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

idk... It’s a picture I took... and I liked it? ┐(´～｀)┌

4. Do you have any regular/favorite commenters?

I don’t really have regular commenters? I do love comments in general. Though, Clownclown has commented on quite a few fics, does that make Clownclown my regular?

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Hrmm, my current favourite fic to re-read is Time flies like an arrow by Katlou303. But eh... my all time favourite ‘I was not born for death’ by @aqueenvictorious and ‘Catalysis’ by aventria and iluxia.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

Well, I’m a very prolific reader... I have at least 200 bookmarks and my subscription page on both FFn and Ao3 is at least 20 pages (I’m sure Ao3′s one outstrips my FFn by double)

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

AUs that diverage canon, I suppose. I like thinking of how things would have gone if you change the slightest variable.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Well... uhm. On Ao3, about 2k people subscribe to my works, while I have like 100+ author subscriptions for both FFn and Ao3?  Σ(ﾟДﾟ) how did I get so many?

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

A KakaSakuGen ABO?  ┐(´～｀)┌ I find writing an ABO always gets you instantly judged, cuz ABO.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Well... I’m fairly shy when it comes to replying comments.I’m not sure how to reply to them half the time. And I’d like to update faster but I burnt myself out while trying to write more Daisy/Bucky and Daisy/Steve so I have no stamina now..  (＠Д＠； 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

YES. FILL THEM ALL UP. I don’t actually really write a particular pairing now. I like most pairings and I’m not really a romance writer so even if there was a pairing, it’s unlikely to be the main focus.

12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

On Ao3, 52 works in total, 41 completed works and 11 uncompleted. On FFn,  21 works in total (But if we count legacy works, works that was posted and then pulled off, it’d come up to 27), 14 completed works, 7 uncompleted.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

Writing programs? like a google doc? Uhm......... Over 180 individual stories?

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

If my mind broods long enough over it, I’ll usually write it down and chuck it into the plot bunny bin. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Yes.

16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?

Hell, that’s more than a decade ago! I don’t remember how I discovered FFn, but I know I discoverd Ao3 because I looking for more stuff to read.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?

Not sure? Though I doubt anyone thinks highly of my works.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Nopes.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

@ozhawkauthor was very kind and inspirational when I returned to write and helped me out a lot. @denilmo is the best too. She���s always full encouragement when I get stuck.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Make sure you write a plot outline no matter how vague it is. It helps to anchor you while you write and that makes it easier when you get stuck at somewhere along the way. 

Never be afraid to write. We all started somewhere to get to where ever we are now. If you don’t start, you’ll never improve. =]

And lastly, when taking criticism, it’s easy to fall into the ‘but I wrote it intentionally like that’ ego streak. Just remember to wrestle that ego down and look at the criticism constructively. If you never take criticism, you’ll never improve.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Both. I have a huge draft document that loosely states my objectives in each arc as well as the character+overall story development points so that I know where I have been and where I’m going. But the in-between is rather loose and vague.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Yes. If I disregard the crazy G.o.D reviewer (which I’m 99% sure is a closet kakasaku fan considering how quickly he/she comments) The Skyeward fans had... well... harrassed me on my fics. Well.. I’m not proud to say it, but I caved and compromised in the end. G.o.d has nothing on the skyeward craziness level.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

I will never write smut... Well I wrote one, to prove to myself that I could... which basically proved that I couldn’t.  (;￣ー￣川  And I’m not a romantic person... so I have difficulty writing romance. Which is ironic... since WaL is all romancy.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Bones beneath her feet, a Papashi and some Shikasaku.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

I have plans to finish BBHF but I might be picking up another fic to write at the same time.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Usually it’s a weekly goal.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Definitely. (´つヮ⊂) Considering I started when I was 10, there was a huge leaps in style.

28. What is your favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

Hmm... I have a few favourites... I can’t pick one, so instead, I’ll offer a few? A thousand times Good night and Road of Hearts is my current favourite. Burning skies, Burning Hope is one of my older favourites but it’s not very popular because Juuni Kokki is a very small and old fandom.

29. What is your least favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

Is it bad that I have no least favourite? I usually don’t post works that I’m not proud off, so I don’t have a work that I dislike no matter how old it may be...

30. Where do you yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

I don’t know? I’m working on my original novel, well. I wrote finished book 1 and am working on book 2 at the moment. As well a new original novel. So that’s 3 original works in total. So I might make the change eventually, but I do like writing fanfics. 

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

It’s pouring emotions into it? Not sure what to say about this. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Pacing? The amount of effort you put in to make everything roll off your tongue? Contrary to popular belief, we don’t just sit down and write a 2k chp in 2 hours. 

33. Why do you write?

Writing is a sense of release for me. I write about the emotions that I bottle up and send them out hoping someone would hear my unsaid messages. And also it’s a form of escape for me. 

Tagging: @ozhawkauthor , @aqueenvictorious, @backwardsandinhighheels , @mouseymightymarvellous @iamartemisday

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode 1: “Why is my tribe all these musty men and Ruthie?” -Ali

-I'm writing this pre-cast reveal and I'm scared shitless. Dear future Jess, Don't puke before tribals because of anxiety. Don't let the m*n tell you what to do. Don't get in your head and trust your gut. Sincerely, Pre-Cast Reveal Jess.

- Now where do I begin.... It's day 2? I believe.... in this game and I've already spiralled and showed the signs of a future crackhead. In all seriousness though, I've calmed down and the initial shock of cast reveal has worn off. I was a bit shook seeing some of the people in this cast playing. I've literally hosted a large chunk of these people so I REALLY HOPE NONE OF THAT COMES TO BITE ME IN THE ASS (I don't think it will). I hope people realize I wasn't really paying close attention to their games when hosting.. and if I was... I have the memory of a pebble. I'm sure none of that will have an impact on anyone besides maybe Ali. BUT ALI IF YOU ARE READING THIS.. DAY 2 JESS REALLY WANTS TO WORK WITH YOU! Now lets talk about my tribe: - We got Rachael/Zach who are super close or at least have some sort of connection through his sister. - We got Birch/Keegan regardless of whatever they are pushing about doubts with each other I can see them cleaning that slat in the name of numbers. - Me and Gavin because I'm the only one he knows in this game. - Possibly me/Timmy if he wants to work with me. - Possibly me/Chips hoping he remembers I did show how blindly loyal I was to him the last game we were in.... - Bodhi might be in with people like Zach (who he was hosting) and Rachael. - John honestly... I have no idea about. He's such a wild card for me. My overall thought process and game plan right now is... BLUID THOSE RELATIONSHIPS! I think I proved with my challenge performance I am an asset to this tribe but I want to show people I can be an asset to them. I can see us swapping at 16 so I'm going to be around this tribe for a bit so I need people to want me around. So far I'm getting along with Keegan he seems like a cool cat. I'm also aware he's probably a cool cat in everyone's eyes but for right now.. I really like him! Birch is definitely a social beast. From what I remembered they were an extremely social player in the season I hosted them but they are very transparent with their information which does scare me. For the time being though, I'll attempt to work my magic with them and build that trust so the information spills to me.. Rachael is a queen. I really want to work with her because I do see similarities between our playing style which is something I always gravitate towards in games. I'm naive and I do know she has other people higher up on that trust-ladder based off of initial relationships but I do hope to somehow climb that. Although I do know she will be a power play in this game, I know I'm going to need other power players around me to ensure there is a target ahead of me. She also brings connections which typically brings in information. So rather than be a crackhead and go for her (which is what cast reveal night Jess thought about) I'm going to try and work with her. Zach.. honestly, I don't know how much I have in common with a teenage boy so that might be a road block between us. He is one of those key-relationships I hope to build off of through Rachael. I will also die if Rachael/Zach aren't that close and I'm just rambling shit right now. Gavin is one of my FIRST ORG friends and I'm SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM PLAYING THIS GAME. I don't think anyone right now knows we are close but I'm not afraid to cut him if it means I go further in this game. I'm not really sure about my tribes chances for this first immunity challenge. Everyone aside for a few people on this tribe seem like they have their shit together in this challenge. I know the "movie trivia" crew snapped hard and my back hurts from carrying my tribe but.... our chances of winning rely on Timmy (who is on vacation), Gavin who is probably working or something, and Bodhi who is hosting currently. So to say I'm confident.... would be a giant ass lie. I'm excited for the idol search to open up SO BAD.

-Cast is revealed and game starts in a half hour. I’m feeling excited. I hope I do better in this season than the game I did last, 17th. Ughhhhhh, grosss

- I’m having fun doing the quotes, it’s interesting. I feel like I’m getting along well with everyone. I’m trying to talk to them all and interact. If I’m amusing they won’t get rid of me. Right? Right? Somebody tell me I’m right

-Okay tea time!  I'm really excited. I had to add A LOT of people I have never talked to before and I always like doing that because I LOOOOVE playing with people that don't know how I play and also getting to know clean people and starting with a clean slate! The only people I had added on my tribe are Jay and Ali and I LIKE that!   I'm excited to talk to people, scope everyone out a little and see what I need to do.  This game and the theming is SO CUTE and I can't wait to see what all happens next!

- https://youtu.be/MY-s5k1n7sI

why is my tribe all these musty men and ruthie what did i do to deserve this.

https://youtu.be/LPxSC_ZjZIc

https://youtu.be/ojw9T8GsbaA

-That 36 person cast twist not being real...big disappointment, I was hoping for a huge mess where someone cries. But 20 people, good size. My tribe seems like good people so this should be exciting.

- So we lost the first immunity challenge. Seems like it’s unanimous for John to go. Works for me as he is who I wanted out when I woke up this morning since we hadn’t spoken. He keeps saying he wants someone who was weak in the challenge out and didn’t tell me a name but told Rachel, Bodhi. Funny thing is, John did worse in his challenge than anyone in the quotes group so therefore his own logic can be used against him.

-AHHHHHHHHHHH MY PEOPLE ARE HERE I DON"T KNOW WHO I WANNA WORK WITH. There is king ali, my bae Austin, bestie jay, and really old time friend Collin in this one tribe. I'm not even counting people on the other tribe. I'm gonna lose so hard. I'm crying tho

-When I was meeting my tribe for the first time I was thinking that we have a very good group here. I'm glad to see Bodhi again cuz I haven't seen him since Trinity: P&P a few months ago. I think that with the additions of Birch and Keegan to our tribe I think we're gonna win some challenges. So I'm hoping for the best and not the worst for this team.

- So we're all waiting for the results of the 1st challenge, and I'm feeling a little nervous that my tribe may lose, but I'm hoping that we do win because I want this season to start off on a good note for my tribe. I'm just hoping that we pull this off and not blow this.

-the way i was offered a final 2 within minutes of joining the tribe chat. hopefully this ages well and you get to see me and bodhi succeed :)

- John is too damn messy and has got to go. PERIODT.

https://youtu.be/L1-ZBhnUQ7U

-I love my Tribe!! I'm super excited to play with Keegan and Timmy again! I'm trying to get closer with everyone else since I haven't played with them before. I'm also kinda nervous for the challenge. I have a weird taste in music so we will see how this goes. I really hope I'm not first boot. I haven't had good placements in my last couple of games, so I'm hoping for better this time! This cast is iconic.

-So my mom got my drunk before the challenge and then tried guilting me into not doing the challenge. we flopped anyway. we are currently pulling ahead in the Movie challenge but it's still early so idk. I really hope we can get the next 2 challenges. I don't wanna be first boot.  

- Ahoy matey! me got cursed t' only talk like a pirate in thar tribe chats n' me alliance chat. So me’m doing dis confession like a pirate. So anyway. me’m in a alliance Wit' Keegan n' Jess. As far as me know our jolly crew only verily talked t' each other. So dis works out. Our jolly crew also lost which SUCKS. me verily hope me’m nay first boot. me might sail after John. All me conversations wit' him be painful. So that’s fun. me like all hands so dis will hard. But let’s see what happens! Birch signing off.

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Iq3ANGs8M&feature=youtu.be

- Here’s the Tea Link: https://youtu.be/X3J2e4ffmiY

- https://youtu.be/Q80k6g4QUIk

Kinda bummed the movie challenge didn’t go so well hope we don’t have to go to tribal this early

-Hello hello! I am SO happy to be back in atomic Survivor! I feel like things are off to a really nice start and I'm hoping that will continue. For now I'll do a little assessment of my tribe before we find out results for the first challenge. Ali - I've seen him around in the community a lot for years, im pretty sure I was around when he played his first game. But I don't remember if I've ever had the chance to actually play WITH him. He's such a nice guy I've loved talking with him so far Austin - Lmao the funny thing is I actually talked to him for the first time ever like a week ago. A real lucky break that he and I were both part of this casting twist. We immediately started talking and agreed to look out for each other. Cindi - this is my first time meeting her ever! She seems really rad and we've just been talking about life and tattoos and shit lmao. I can definitely see myself working with her in the future. Collin - y'all I LOVE Collin. I just played with him in Mesopotamia, and even though he voted me out I never had any bitterness towards him cause he's just that nice. He's definitely been the person I've talked to the most so far. We have a lot in common and I really want to trust him. But I am still a bit wary bc of Mesopotamia. Czern - I don't really have a read on him yet. Haven't spoken to him too much. Dan - Same as Czern but I haven't spoken to Dan at all Vi - Vi is such a ray of sunshine, I've loved her ever since I met her in Tashirojima. In fact my biggest mistake in that game IMO was voting her out. I'm 100% working with her this time. Ruthie - It's been so long since I've talked to Ruthie and I'm so glad that this game gives me the chance to reconnect with her. An absolute legend and one of the nicest people I've ever met. I haven't talked strategy with her yet but that'll come soon lol Timmy - Yo he DESTROYED that music challenge and I'm super grateful for that. I've talked to him a little bit and he's pretty nice but I don't really have any further opinions on him lol

- Reallllly glad we didn't have to go to tribal tonight. I've been really busy today so it would've been a really rough time. But instead I got to enjoy my day, but of course I socialized with my tribe. I feel really close with Collin, Ali, and Ruthie. Granted those are relationships that started outside of this game, but they're relationships nonetheless. I really vibe with Austin too, even though I talk to him a little less, we're bonded through that opening twist. And the best thing is Austin mentioned vibing with all those people + Vi (who's great as well, I just haven't talked any strategy with her yet) so I smell an alliance starting sometime soon. I just feel really well about the start of this game and im hoping it can last.

-First confessional of the season! I debated making a video but then I realized that's a lore more work and harder for me to have actual organized thoughts. Going back to the start of the game: I know RACHAEL, BIRCH, CHIPS, JAY, VI, CINDI, DAN and RUTHIE. The only person I don't know anything about is CZERN. So I've got a pretty stacked cast of people I can potentially work with moving forward. But I currently have three goals for this season: 1. Make the merge or swap so I can play with VI. Even if we don't work together, I'd love to play with her! She rules! 2. Make sure JAY gets voted out before myself. As a fellow winner, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. 3. Make sure DAN gets voted out before myself. He's a sneaky snake and I won't ever trust him after Nova Scotia. First off, I'm in an awesome alliance with BIRCH and JESS. It's only three people so it's not a clear majority but it's a good start. We formed this literally 10 minutes after the challenge had ended. Speaking of the challenge, it was a fun challenge but we did lose. However, JESS, RACHAEL, CHIPS and myself were the only ones who won our portion of the challenge, so I've been subtly hinting that I wouldn't feel right if any of us were voted out. GAVIN told me that TIMMY and BODHI didn't contribute much of anything to their part of the challenge, so that's a possible decision when it comes to this tribal. However, JOHN has been very difficult to have a conversation with and I've been told that him and BODHI won't vote for each other. So right now it's just working with JESS and BIRCH to determine what the best option is moving forward. I'm thinking I can get RACHAEL, ZACH and GAVIN on board with whatever we decide. Tune in later for some more thoughts.

-I wanna say it’s be super eventful but not really. Just a few small things: CHIPS has been telling everyone everything. He told JOHN he was the vote. He told JESS about the GAVIN thing. He needs to learn to keep things to himself if he doesn’t want to be gone next. JOHN tried throwing ZACH under the bus for not being good in challenges. I had a call with BODHI and apparently ZACH is a comp beast. So that’s not happening. If everything is as planned JOHN should be the unanimous vote. I might throw a stray vote on CHIPS just in case of an idol play but I’m undecided.

So this round I got super close with Austin and Collin, and close with cindi, and okay close with everyone else. I killed it in the music challenge because I  did not feel confident I wouldn’t go home if we lost. I need to tighten my bonds and hopefully make a solid group before the next round. I have no real targets atm but Ruthie and I have yet to speak so that’s awkward. I kinda wish I was on the other tribe because I feel like I’d vibe with them better. I had to make sure I was the first to go into the treehouse because I wanted to be open and transparent about what happens in there and make sure that nobody else got to go in and change what actually happens. I’m very excited for the next few rounds tho!

https://youtu.be/e_oVLgNr4ro

Okay so first round is going pretty good so far . I cant believe they put me on a tribe with vi which is amazing bc ride or die right there. I know ali vi collins and jay are def ppl I wanna work with in this game . I mean my whole tribe is great . Dan I know is a wild card and he seems like he wants to work together but I'm not sure if I can fully trust him since he did vote me out last seasons with telling me a damn thing . Cindi was almost in my duplicity season I'm on production for so I know her a bit as well. I know she would probs go with Rachael at a swap or merge which is dangerous .THANK GOD we won the first immunity and I dont have two sorry about a vote bc if I'm honest it would be HARD to decide on a name . Let's see what happens tho I'm ready to play and ready to win

Honestly it seems pretty slow starting. Just working on getting to know the tribe at this point. I really like Collin and Ali but beyond that I'm not getting like amazing vibes from the others. I'm not getting bad vibes either though, just neutral positive vibes if that makes sense

okay, so i have been focusing on getting to know my tribe-mates the past few days because in this game, connections are your lifeline. but, i also didn't want to come off too strong and be perceived as "too social" from the get-go *cough* keegan the snake *cough*. so, i laid back, talked to people (some more than others), and tried to focus on winning immunity. unfortunately, when immunity slipped through our fingers, i quickly got to work socializing and making sure i wasn't the one to be blamed for our loss in our challenge. i felt that i contributed a lot and tried to start discussions and debate about our quotes, and felt as though i didn't get much back from my team. so, i made sure that people knew my group wasn't very communicative and had they communicated more, we could have totally won. i didn't push for a name to begin the round, but i did make sure to let people know who i hadn't talked to in hopes of getting one of their names on the chopping block this round. i made sure to reach out to everyone (even those who didn't reach out to me or seem invested in the game, nor our conversations) because i don't want someone to spread my name as a result. then, it seemed to narrow down to john and timmy. also, it was obviously leaning towards john leaving this round. however, it was not until about a few hours before day change that john had FINALLY heard that his name was going around due to the fact that it was TRULY IMPOSSIBLE TO TALK TO HIM. funnily enough, this information came directly from chips--someone who i haven't talked to much. thankfully for me, john decided to tell almost everyone exactly what chips had said and no one was pleased to hear that. so, i worked my magic and made sure people were upset that chips tried to throw us all under the bus--because i need to make sure there is a target for next round that isn't me... DUH! later, i asked john what he wanted to do, and he sat there completely clueless. i was completely dumbfounded at his reluctance to say a name when his ass was CLEARLY on the line. eventually, i worked a name out of him, and he said bodhi (who was the only one who wanted to keep him earlier today)... so i obviously went right to bodhi and made sure he knew so i could build some trust with him going forward in this game since talking to john literally made me lose brain cells by the minute, i wanted to make sure he was the one leaving tonight. so, i am hoping everything goes according to plan at tribal tonight, but as long as i don't leave, i am golden with whatever. until next time... xoxo, gossip girl

So basically I'm not in town right now... and IbhopenI can trust people not to vote me until I get back and am less busy. I really bombed the challenge by getting 0 points for my tribe but we won that part... because the other people carried. Good stuff. Anyway we are voting John because he doesn't communicate well and has kind of mansplained the potential different vote? If its true then woohoo I got another round. Also! I got am advantage from idol hunt and thats nifty. 

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Click HERE to watch both out PREGAME and ROUND ONE cast assessments!

[kokeggy]

my brain is filled with ouma and i cant stop it

i totally forgot the time man, its almost been 2 months since i played the game and it totally didnt feel like that at all

i still can recall a ton of things fluidly and as for now i dont see a particular reason to replay the game (other than wanting to get to know ouma better) 

but oumas character is just.. so tragic. i cant even begin to explain the depth of his character, it would be pages long and im way too lazy for that. ill always just write mental drafts and let myself feel when it comes to ouma

ill a cut here since its already a bit long rn lmao

and i think ouma is a character who is deeply troubled by his insecurities/possible mental illnesses (such as bpd or servere depression) in a way that these insecurities are his most memorable characteristics. that is absolutely sad and tragic

furthermore since the moment i started to play this game i always thought it was suspicious that ouma claimed he hated liars even tho he was one himself. sure that couldve been one of his lies, but my intention rlly didnt like this idea so i thought he was actually speaking the truth. i realized today that ouma was hinting at shuichi that he hated this persona that he had to create for the sake of this game

but i do agree that i sometimes tend to overthink ouma lmao while is incredibly intelligent, he couldnt have figured everything out, plus his trust issues and paranoia were in the way of looking into every possible situation. yet i somehow believed that he did a lot of stuff while being completely aware of their consequences - but thats not possible. ouma is not a superhuman who can figure out what happens to the world in [insert year]. hes a character with deep flaws which balances his cunning behavior 

to his actual personality, i might seem like the most biased person in the world but i truly believe that ouma didnt want to harm anyone. its just that the killing game... happened lol

as far as i can self-insert, i do believe if i happen to be in a killing game i would be quite similar about it. minus the creating a fake persona thing for me its absolutely impossible to trust 15 people whom i just met that they wouldnt kill me under stress. you know, if you activate the right buttons on someone, they can work how you want them to. and this is what feared ouma (rightly so)

anyways i take the anthologies as canon material since theyre approved and licensed by spike chunsoft, and we obviously see that ouma is nowhere near as antagonistic as he was in the game. although, i only have read the first anthology (also while we are at it, i cant wait to buy the thjree v3 anthologies even without knowing japanese, lulz)

but we also see his character actually getting darker and darker with each chapter, with chapter 4 probably taking the point. esp on when it ended. at first i was kind of conflicted about his oversentimal reaction towards gonta being executed, because that felt just as fake as his overly evil presentation afterwards. altho after some time thinking abt this, i came to the conclusion that he just leaked a little bit of his juicy true self(tm), realized that what he meant was actually genuine and then proceed to vent his emotions in making him seem like the most villainous person u ever met. because i think one of the reasons ouma acted out like is because he believed he was at fault for gontas death. so instead of trying to sweet talk yourself, he just took the oppurtunity to make him the least likeable person. cuz who would ever want to like someone who jokes about genuinely being concered about someone dying? yeah no one dude

also i think ouma is ironically a bit well-mannered (yeah guis im not joking here). ..  .if we ignore all his stupid pranks.. so you see, whenever i got rejected after dates with ouma in salmon mode.. it went like this for example “eeh, wow you are going to the libary with me and now you want to leave? that hella rude man, why am i wasting my time like this” or “wow you really must think highly of yourself if you think you are worth changing for, how arrogant”  which looks like he knows what is appropriate and what not

i remember what he said that and i suddenly went like “shit i cant believe im hearing this from you man” which was kinda funny as a side note btw

anyways, to his motive video. oh shit, his motive video . . . even without having known how messed up the translation was, that damaged me.-.. i mean i always thought that ouma exaggerated the size of his organization, at some poiint i just thought that his entire organization was a lie and his tru talent was the ultimate liar. which obsly wasnt the case lmao 

but his motive video.. just wanting to prank ppl for laughs and entertainment. its so light hearted compared to what he claimed it to be that it hurts another thing that i think is worth noting is that DICE was his motive video, not his family. DICE, who is like family. but not his actual family. what does that mean? does that mean that his actual family wasnt like family to ouma? i sure as hell thought so and i still do 

a different thing is that ouma said that nobody would care about him dying and that his organization would be better off without him, plus that it seems that monokuma said that ouma knows what happened to DICE in the motive video which leads me to.. uhh.. what if ouma did something he absolutely regretted doing (since it caused DICE trouble?) - but im not entire set on that theory

its also sad that he constantly had to hint about hiimself instead of just talking abt it to shuichi. like, he wanted shuichi to help him or actually even hinder him at carrying out his plan, he low key hoped for it because shuichi is a detective which showed to be shrewd enough to be able to make proper deductoins in class trials, furthermore he isnt a dick towards ouma and actually respects him in a way. something that ouma most likely didnt calculate

which mades the statement that shuichi said in the end of chapter 4 even more painful. shuichi was the only person that ouma kind of trusted and relied on. and prob the only one he wanted to show his true self to, that very person told him hes 5 ever alone with no friends at all. that hes a pathetic little brat who should start to view the world differently (def not what shuichi said 1:1 but.. yeah idk my own interpretation) 

im pretty sure that hurt ouma a lot 

hnnng, i truly wished for ouma to be one of the survivors. altho i figured that hes gonna plot something absolutely mind blowing in chapter 5, i seriously couldnt believe that he was actually dead... well, not until the closing argument. as soon as there were the words “closing argument” all over my screen i began to cry like an idiot. i couldnt even read properly man, thats just how blurry my vision was from all the tears

in other hand: i was (and still am lol) extremely attached to ouma and his death was very unsatisfying, since he died quite heroic but nobody considered him so. also he never made up with these ppl. also fuck kodaka