#although Vivi probably wants to do some stuff too

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Madoc is such a fascinating character to me.

Like, this is a guy who really, truly cares about family. Not even in the warrior sense of family honour or loyalty— although that too— but in the most like, cereal-packet, Saturday Morning Cartoon way possible.

On some level Madoc's main goal in life is to come home every evening to a well-cared for, loving stay-at-home wife, and a gaggle of well-behaved, happy children.

It's just that his other main goal in life is unending war and bloodshed, and he seems to be incapable of understanding why those things don't mesh.

Dude has two wives and four kids (that we know of). He loves/loved all of them deeply. He murdered one and almost succeeded in murdering another. Two of them ended up having to be hidden from him in the mortal world for their own safety. Three of them have faced him in direct combat. Literally all of them have at some point either conspired against him or aided somebody else in conspiring against him.

Madoc literally murdered Jude, Taryn and Vivi's parents in front of them. And then took them in and started acting as their new Dad.

He mortally wounded Jude and then asked to be allowed to help her.

He basically tried to invade Elfhame, laid out a plan to establish Jude as a puppet-queen (and we don't know that he didn't know the true secret of the Bridle) and then said that it would be “good to be a family again”.

We're told repeatedly, by Jude, that Red Caps need to shed blood, but we're never really told exactly what this means. The fact that Jude doesn't have any qualms about banning Madoc from using weapons suggests that he probably isn't going to actually die if he doesn't meet his Blood Quota for the century.

Is it an addiction? An instinct? A spiritual obligation? Just something he really, really likes and doesn't want to give up?

Is all the fucked up stuff Madoc does on his path to the throne really just his Red Cap instincts getting the better of him?

Or is it just that we're getting all this from the POV of his daughter, who needs some way to explain in her mind the separation between 'Madoc her Dad' and 'Madoc the General-Turned-Traitor'?

Regardless of how in-control of it he actually is, Madoc's Red Cap status is fundamentally treated by everyone around him as a blank-check for him to be as bloodthirsty as he likes. Even when Jude is actively working against him, she still takes time to clarify, in her internal monologue, that this is just Madoc's nature, that he can't be anything else.

But how much of an issue is it really? Is Madoc incapable of having the family he wants because he's a Red Cap, and Red Caps are incapable of anything other than violence, or because he's a Red Cap, and thus assumes he's exempt from having to make the choice between 'family-man' and 'gore-soaked warlord'?

Is banning him from ever picking up a weapon a punishment because to stop killing people is somehow inherently detrimental to Red Caps? Or because if he survives doing so then it proves that he could have stopped at any time, and thus that everything he's done so far was the result of his own, personal choices?

What would these stories look like from his perspective?

[kozachenko]

I've crawled out of my cave after playing Final Fantasy IX for a long ass time what have I missed?

Artist's Notes:

I'M BACK BABY! A while back I made a post with a new style experimentation thingy but I ended up deleting it because it was just kind of a boring face thing, I was planning on doing more art but then I started playing Final Fantasy IX and uhhhh yeah so that game has kind of taken of my brain for the past two weeks and I am 20 hours into the game because I love it so much. I wanted to draw Vivi because Vivi is just really fun to draw ok? I've kinda been feeling really burnt out with my lineless style, mainly because of how hard it was to do lighting. I'll show one of my initial art style tests on the bottom of this post. Again, used to have it be an individual post but it was just one face so it was kinda boring, so might as well include with this one on the subject of art styles. I wanted to kinda mix some aspects of my older style with the sketchy shading lines with a more painterly way of doing the lighting (mainly in the shadows). All in all, I think that's my favourite part about this drawing, it feels nice to finally be able to do some proper lighting again, and I want to experiment even more with my lighting and rendering in future pieces. Also, part of the pant shading got kinda lost in the sketchiness, so for next time I'll probably focus on the clarity of the more sketchy parts of the drawing, since I did go with my initial sketch for the final drawing. I also gave up on the background since I had no idea what to do for it, and I didn't put too much detail into the staff as I forgot which one I gave him in my current playthrough and I didn't want to risk spoiling myself via looking up references, but that's ok I like how the singular yellow circle on it matches Vivi's eyes. Also I was having a bit of trouble figuring out how to draw his body and how to pose him, but I like how the pose turned out a lot. It was inspired by his idle animation when in a battle in game where he does a little shimmy.

Ok I need to talk about Vivi's design because I love it so fucking much oh my god-

I absolutely love how his face is just in complete shadow and only his eyes stand out, it's so cool and unique and I love how they recontextualized the original black mage design from the classic Final Fantasy games. How they did it I won't say because I don't wanna spoil the game, but someone give this poor baby a therapist because he goes through a lot. Actually, same can be said for all of the FFIX cast, they all need therapy (again, I won't spoil anything, please go play the game for yourself).

While I do love almost all the characters in the game, even though Vivi is most fun to draw, my favourite character has to be Zidane (the main protagonist of the game). He's a really fun protagonist, and they could have easily written him as a misogynistic jerk who doesn't respect women but they didn't, and I really appreciate that. He's just an overall cool dude who's a really nice older brother figure to Vivi and also just has a cool character design (who I also want to draw eventually). Initially in the game I was planning on grinding levels for Vivi to make him the tactical nuke of the party, but then that title went to a different character (who was initially multiple levels behind the group since I grinded the party in the starting area way to much before they joined, but now they are two levels ahead of everyone and have pulled the team through a lot of tough battles, again I won't say who it is because it is kind of a spoiler and the way the gameplay actually ties into their character arc is just so good omfg). Once I eventually finish the game I'll probably write a full review on here, so no spoilers until then lol

Also, I've kinda been burning out a bit with making Touhou art, which also made me a bit burnt out with Touhou stuff in general (although I will continue keeping up with the manga) so getting into other things (i.e. Final Fantasy and even Fallout since I've watched the first season of the TV show which is a whole other post for another day) has helped me refresh and given me something new to think about. I've ended up in the exact place I feared ending up, where I would start drawing fanart for it not because I wanted to but because I felt like I had to, so I'm taking a bit of a break. When I do draw Touhou fanart again I'll try to draw for the sake of myself, and to all the other artists and fanartists on this platform (and on any social media for that matter), take care of yourself and don't forget to take breaks when you need to!

(Ok part of that last paragraph was definitley influenced by the good ol' "it's 9:00pm and I need sleeb, but the message at the end still holds up, always take care of yourself)

Oh yeah, and here is that one style experiment I did btw

Man I really fell down the "Yoshitaka Amano art enjoyer" to "Final Fantasy fan" pipe line didn't I?

[eroguron0nsense]

Straw Hats Pokemon League AU Part 2

Part 1 : Gym Leaders (Usopp, Chopper, Nami, Brook, Franky, Robin, Jinbe, Sanji) I thought of making the elite 4 yonko or former yonko, warlords etc but it got a bit weird figuring out who would qualify for it so I figured I'd just choose four of my favourite characters and run with it. As stated in the previous post, everyone is alive and well and it's all very wholesome; I'm not making an evil team either because there's too many goddamn antagonists to establish something coherent. All elite 4 members get full teams off the bat because I can

Ground Specialist Nefertari Vivi: Vivi is part of a tradition of ground type elite 4 members including her dad and Crocodile and she’s thriving! Cobra is doing just fine and both of them have mentored her to varying degrees, although she still maintains (justifiably) that Crocodile is an asshole. I like the idea of her wearing her coronation outfit in the official league battles and switching to more casual stuff when you actually see her in her hometown. Golduck is there as a tribute to Karoo, and the Sandaconda is a nod to Cobra. Hippowdon would help set up sand streams but also per the first post it’s implied that she gave Nami a hippopotas egg that hatched from her own. Cobra has a Nidoking and Crocowani has a Krookodile. Team: Golduck, Garchomp, Sandaconda, Gastrodon, Hippowdown, Nidoqueen

Fire Specialists Portgas D. Ace and Sabo: Ace is the successor to Whitebeard’s old elite 4 position, and *dealing with some stuff* after a lifetime of inferiority complex knowing he’s the son of a former GOAT champion. After you clear the league, he decides to take a bit of a mental health break and Sabo fills in for him, although you can still find him for rematches. I almost almost gave Brook the Skeledirge because I wanted him to have more musical Pokemon, but I thought it’d be funny to give Ace a ghost type (wink wink nudge nudge) His team’s not the most balanced in that it has a lot of sweepers and is very offence oriented, but I think that suits his character and there’s some thought behind it (lots of drought and heat rocks to nerf water as much as possible and boost the team, probably an air balloon here and there to help balance out the ground weakness, and give the Incineroar and Armarouge some fighting moves to counter rock types). Sabo is also kind of a fire specialist, but he gets lots of dragon types as a tribute to his mentor and signature attacks in canon. He also gets a Charizard to kind of link the two brothers since the Mera Mera doesn’t exist in this world. Ace’s Team: Volcarona, Mega Charizard-Y, Drought Torkoal, Armarouge, Skeledirge, Incineroar Sabo’s Team: Mega Charizard X, Haxorus, Ceruledge, Chandelure, Turtonator, Salamence

Mixed Dark/Fairy Specialist Charlotte Katakuri: I was caught between having either him or Kidd as the third elite 4 member but I ended up choosing Katakuri just because I personally enjoy him more. I thought of giving him a dessert team at first but there’s no donut Pokemon as of yet and I figured that would suit Linlin better in the event that I do make a team for her, so I’m giving him a lot of dark and fairy types. Mismagius and Hatterene are both there as tributes to Brûlée and I wanted to give the bitey boy something known mostly for its extremely prominent hidden jaw as his ace/signature Pokemon  Team: Grimmsnarl, Obstagoon, Clefable, Mismagius, Hatterene, Mega Mawile

Ice/Water Specialist Trafalgar D. Water Law: Law still has his submarine, although he uses it a bit more for research purposes; you run into him in the Polar Tang while you’re being dragged around doing underwater side quests at Jinbei’s behest. The Beartic, Cetitan and Empoleon are there mostly as tributes to Bepo, Shachi/Hakugan, and Penguin, and he leans toward ice/water specialization because of his crew and their polar theming. I thought about giving him an Eiscue, but I figured Empoleon would help balance the team a bit more and generally feels slightly more sword-fighty. Alolan Ninetales is the exception to the polar marine animal theme (although ig it could technically be an arctic fox) but it’s mainly just there to set up hail and I don’t think Aurorus suits Law any better. I thought of giving him an arctozolt to match the colour scheme of the Polar Tang but I ended up choosing Weavile just because it seemed more aesthetically suited to him.  Team: Beartic, Cloyster, Cetitan, Empoleon, Alolan Ninetales (snow warning), Weavile

Champion Roronoa Zoro: Zoro is, at present, the champion of the region although he doesn’t really think it suits him, and straight up tells the player that someone else who’s stronger and who he’s deeply loyal to should really be in his place right now. His team is annoyingly, almost detrimentally sword-themed and painfully unbalanced. He’s basically the Wallace of this world, in that he’s got the chops to be where he is but he’s still basically filling in for the real champion/final boss (Luffy) It’s implied that he and Sanji had a massive fight over who should take the seat after Luffy stepped away from being the Champion; Sanji claims he chose his current job so that he could focus more on his cooking but keeps insisting he totally could have beaten Zoro is he really wanted to and it remains a major point of contention. The rest of their friend group is sick of it.   Team: Samurott, Scizor, Lucario, Mega Gallade, Absol, Kingambit

Final Boss: Pokemon Trainer Monkey D. Luffy This one’s a bit weird; Luffy’s team isn’t meant to be especially balanced or well thought out because Luffy isn’t a strategist and chooses his companions on pure instinct, but he still needs to have those mythical Zoan attributes, a monkey theme, and stand head and shoulders above all the other bosses, so I slapped a bunch of legendaries/mythical Pokemon that had Luffy vibes onto his team and let him approach battles with a “hit hard, ask questions later” kind of attitude. The Infernape was his starter and given to him by Ace, who obviously raises little fire types in his free time, and it’s there for the obvious Wukong connection. Annihilape kind of reminds me of gear 5, the Tauros is a tribute to Ucy/Moocy, Hoopa has chaos vibes, and Victini is there as a symbol of victory and liberation. Pokemon Trainer Luffy's Team: Paldean Tauros (Combat Breed), Infernape, Zarude, Annihilape, Hoopa, Victini

I figure other Yonko, Warlords, Supernovas, or major antagonists could be frontier brains or something along those lines but I have spent enough time coming up with Pokemon teams for now. 

[brainyxbat]

Chapter 4: Luffy Gets Angry! A Dirty Trick Violates the Sacred Duel!

(episode 72)

As Broggy and Dorry began their fight, Luffy watched in awe from the ground, with Vivi and Karoo bearing the sonicwave.

"H-he blocked the blow with his helmet!" Usopp exclaimed from his, Venus, and Nami's place by Broggy's home. "If he was off by even an inch, he would've died instantly!" Dorry escaped a slash, which only cut some strands from his long beard, and shoved his weapon into Broggy's. "What a fight; each of their attacks is a mortal blow aimed at the opponent's vital point!"

"Wow," Venus watched with him.

"Those two have continued this duel to the death for 100 years?" Nami remarked, then smiled with relief. "But this is good; we can use this opportunity to get out of here." She began to walk away, dragging Venus with her, but stopped upon noticing that he wasn't moving an inch. "Usopp?"

"Incredible..." '"Reason? I don't remember."' He recalled Broggy's words. "Even without a reason, they're fighting so seriously."

"This fight sure is a bother," Nami frowned, before getting startled by Venus yanking her arm out of her grip.

"You idiot!" Usopp protested, still not moving away, as Venus sat on the log to watch. "This is what people mean by a real battle between men!"

Nami stared in surprise. "What's that about?"

"To use an analogy, those two fly a warrior's flag in their heart. This flag is even more important their life. In no way do they want it to be destroyed by others. That's why they've continued to take on each other for 100 long years!" The weapons clashed. "Do you get it? This is unmistakably a proud duel between warriors!"

"Wow," Venus breathed in awe.

Nami watched on for a few seconds, before losing interest, and walking away. "Whatever. Stuff like that doesn't interest me. Now, hurry up!"

"I'm gonna watch this a little longer."

"Me too."

"Venus!"

"This is exactly what my goal is. To be a brave warrior of the sea! I wanna be a proud man like them!"

Venus smiled at him from the log. "That's a great dream, Usopp."

Nami frowned in distaste, before sitting next to her. "I see... so you wanna be a giant."

Usopp flinched, and ran over to her angrily. "No!! Were you even listening to me?!"

"Moron," Venus glared at her, but went unnoticed.

"There!" She pointed behind his back. "Don't you have to watch them over there?"

Usopp turned around to start watching again. "If there's a village with warriors like them in it, I wanna go there someday."

-

Elsewhere in the jungle, Ms. Valentine was hovering above the trees. "I've got a good view from here."

"They'll find you, Ms. Valentine," Mr. 5 scolded, "Come down already!"

"Don't worry, Mr. 5; after all, they're absorbed in the fight. They won't notice."

"Just come down!" He commanded.

"Okay, okay." She reluctantly obliged, and dropped down to the ground gracefully.

"Hey, do you really get it? This is a big job for 200 million berries."

"Of course. Although I feel reluctant to do as Mr. 3 tells us."

"I know," Mr. 5 passed her by, "Let's go."

"Okay," She followed.

-

Meanwhile, Broggy sat on the ground to catch his breath. "We're both homesick, aren't we, Dorry?"

"That's why I'll beat you, and go back to Elbaf, Broggy."

After the axe and sword stuck in the ground, they started up again, this time shoving their shields in each other's faces. "73,466 duels..."

"73,466 draws..."

Usopp, Venus, and Nami witnessed their crashing back down, as did Luffy, Vivi, and Karoo. After a few seconds of silence, they both started laughing jovially. "Dorry! Actually, I got alcohol from my guests."

"Great! It's been a while since I had a drink. Give me some."

-

Elsewhere, Zoro heard the commotion during his hunt. "What was that? First a long, strange earthquake, and now this? What is it this time? Are there weird creatures other than dinosaurs in this jungle?" He then smirked. "Well, that damn cook is probably the only one who'd be happy to capture things like that."

"Were those bird cries?" Sanji wondered aloud from where he was looking around for catches. "Even so, those were vulgar, unappetizing cries. Although we're competing to capture a big prey, we're still looking for food." He smirked to himself. "That guy doesn't get it at all."

-

At the houses, a laughing Dorry was downing drinks while with Luffy, Vivi, and Karoo. "I see. His guests are your friends, huh? I saw a man with a long nose, and two women."

"That's Usopp, Nami, and Venus!" Luffy beamed to the princess. "Hah! They said they wouldn't get off the ship, but they really do like adventures after all!"

"Then you could also say that I got this alcohol from you."

They all glanced up at a screeching pterodactyl flying by. "By the way, Dorry-san, does it really take a year for the Log to be stored?" Vivi asked worriedly.

"Didn't you notice the human skulls lying around?" Dorry responded with another question. "Those who come to this island die before the Log is stored in most cases. Some become dinosaurs' food. Some suffer from heat and starvation. Some others are killed because they attack us. They all die... it seems that one year on this island is too long for humans."

Vivi's hands balled into fists in her lap. "What're we gonna do? Even if we could survive for a year, if that much time passes, I don't know what will happen to my country by then."

"Yeah," Luffy agreed, "I'd get bored too, if we stay here for a year. Isn't there a good way, old guy?"

"Hmm... we do have an Eternal Pose, but it's to our hometown, Elbaf. In other words, we're fighting for this Eternal Pose. Do you wanna try taking it by force?"

"That's no good," Luffy frowned in disappointment, "That's not where we wanna go. We just wanna go to the island after this one." He turned to Vivi. "Right?"

"Yes," She nodded, "If we lose the route to Alabasta, there's no point in moving forward."

"See?" Luffy turned back to Dorry.

"Then why don't you move forward randomly?" He suggested. "If you're lucky, you'll get there."

Luffy stared blankly for several seconds, before bursting into hearty laughter. "Maybe we'll do that! We may actually get there, huh?" Vivi stayed silent through the exchange.

"Come to think of it, there was someone who left before the Log was stored," Dorry recalled.

"What happened to him?" Luffy asked, as Vivi tensed up.

"How should I know?"

"He must've gotten to the next island."

"That must be it!"

Karoo was stifling laughter, before he flinched fearfully; Vivi was getting angrier by the second. 'What's so funny?' She glared, as they laughed together. 'I can't understand what they're thinking!'

-

"A brave warrior of the sea? What's that?" Broggy asked through repairing the handle of his axe.

"I'm talking about you guys," Usopp replied, "I wanna be like you guys someday!"

"Hm?" Broggy frowned in confusion. "You mean a giant?"

"See?" Nami grinned pridefully, as Venus facepalmed.

"That's not it!" Usopp exclaimed, then regained his composure. "I hope to live proudly just like the warriors of Elbaf!"

Broggy smiled, and laughed happily. "I see! Especially since our life span is longer than you humans', we think about how we die. Your assets, life... everything will eventually cease to exist. But if we die as a warrior of Elbaf without destroying our pride, that would be dying with honor. That pride is an everlasting treasure that is passed on in the land of Elbaf."

Usopp listened intently with deep admiration. "So pride is your treasure... that's so cool. I've decided... that I'll call you Master from now on!"

"Huh?"

Out of nowhere, an explosion boomed from inside Dorry's gut; Luffy, Vivi, and Karoo gaped in horror, as it sent him falling face-up, eyes rolling back, with smoke billowing from his throat. "Giant old guy!" Luffy cried. "What's going on?! Why did the alcohol explode?! That was our alcohol we had on our ship, right?!"

"It exploded in his stomach! His opponent must've laid the explosive!" Vivi guessed, as Luffy turned angry.

He jumped down from Dorry's chest, and leaned into her face. "What the hell were you watching?! They've been fighting for 100 years! No way they'd do something like this!"

"Then who on Earth..."

Behind them, a furious Dorry came to, weapon ready. "You bastards did..." He thrust his sword into the ground. "It wasn't Broggy," He panted, "We're proud warriors of Elbaf. Who else besides you should I be suspicious of?"

Karoo was already running away. "Let's get out of here now!" Vivi urged. "It's probably no use saying anything to him!"

"It's probably no use, even if we run." Luffy took off his treasured straw hat, and held it out to her. "Hold this, and stay back."

"Don't tell me! Are you going to fight?"

Luffy cracked his fingers. "I feel bad to do this to the old guy, but I'll quiet him down."

"Both of you, stop! Please!" Vivi pleaded. "Dorry-san, please listen! We really don't know anything about it! Anything about the alcohol that exploded! So please don't fight!" They continued staring daggers at one another. "You have to stay calm! Your insides are in bad shape right now!"

Dorry lifted his sword. "How dare you... do something so insolent!"

Luffy jumped away to avoid being crushed, before running up with the sword as leverage, and leaped in the air. "Gum-Gum...!" He prepared an attack, but was sent crashing back to the ground from Dorry's shield. He reached deep into the jungle, grabbed one of the trees, and launched himself away before he could get hit. Dorry coughed up blood, as Luffy flew off. "Gum-Gum...!" He prepared to go back in. 'I'm sorry.' "Rocket!!" He headbutted Dorry's stomach; but just as he seemed out of commission, his eyes reopened, and to Vivi and Karoo's horror, he stomped on him like a bug, as he recovered.

"Luffy-san!!" Vivi screamed.

Dorry panted through the pain. "So he has... the powers of a Devil Fruit." He fell to his knees. "I underestimated... him." After coughing up more blood, he collapsed face-down on the ground, sending shockwaves quaking throughout. A panting Luffy sat up, and turned to the giant. He wasn't moving.

"Luffy-san!" Vivi ran to him in concern, hat in hand. "Are you all right?"

He turned to her. "How's the old guy?"

"He's probably okay," She replied, "This is actually good. Otherwise, he wouldn't have calmed down."

He put his hat back on. "I'm angry!"

"What?"

"Like the old guy said, this alcohol explosion isn't the act of the other giant, and my friends would never do a stupid thing like this!"

"Then who on Earth..."

"There's someone else, on this island."

-

"Games are heavily influenced by people's state of mind," Mr. 3 said through pouring tea, "They are confused right now, by the cryptic bomb from an invisible enemy." He gave the teacups to Mr. 5 and Ms. Valentine. "First, about our first target, Dorry the Blue Ogre; I knew it was impossible to finish him, but the damage he received to his stomach still must've been quite large. Now, we can drink some tea, and wait for the next duel to start."

"So we'll let the other giant take care of the injured giant, huh?" Mr. 5 guessed.

"That's right."

"That's quite a roundabout way of doing things," He remarked after a sip.

"The Warrior species are the same as wild boars, after all. We don't have to fight seriously, when they're only good at going head-on, since even if we can't win power-wise, we have brains to make up for it." Mr. 3 chuckled evilly, before sensing he was being stared at. It was Ms. Golden Week, who sat at the window without making a sound. He tried to ignore her, but her eyes bore into him. "Geez, get it yourself, Ms. Golden Week," He griped, handing the teacup over.

"By the way, what're we going to do with the Straw Hat gang?"

Mr. 3 turned to Mr. 5. "Straw Hat?" In realization, his top knot straightened up like an exclamation point. "Oh yeah, the small fries that found out the boss' secrets. Well, we can just lure them out one by one, starting with whoever's convenient to my "secret set." My motto is "big crimes via cheap tricks." There're many ways to defeat enemies without actually fighting."

Ms. Golden Week held out her empty teacup. "Mr. 3, refill please."

"Hey, me too," Mr. 5 requested.

"You guys!" Mr. 3 raged. "Take time to savor it!"

-

"Ah!" Luffy, Vivi, and Karoo turned to the volcano when it suddenly erupted, several times.

"That mountain is, if I'm not mistaken..."

-

"This isn't good," Zoro remarked, "I'm running out of time." When he stepped on something hard, he stopped and looked down; it was a baby triceratops. "Ah, sorry." He drew his foot away, only for it to bite his shoe. "Ahh! Let it go!" He tried to wave it off. "I said I'm sorry! Hey!" He didn't realize he was being watched through the struggle. "I don't have time to mess around! Let it go!"

"The time out signal has rung," Sanji observed disappointedly, "Having no prey isn't even funny. Damn." In a tree behind him, a saber-toothed tiger was watching ominously.

-

"There's the signal," Broggy pointed out to Usopp and the girls, "It's quite active today."

"You're going?!" Usopp asked in surprise. "Your wounds from that last battle still haven't-"

Broggy held out his axe in determination. "It's nothing! We're both in the same condition!" He had no idea how wrong he was. He laughed, as Usopp gulped. "Making excuses during a merciless fight to the death would spoil my name!"

-

Elsewhere, a pained Dorry pushed himself on his knees, not giving up. "Hey! Wait, old guy!" Luffy called. "Don't go!"

"You can't go, Dorry-san!" Vivi urged. "You need to keep still! You'll die if you push yourself too hard!"

"I, Warrior Dorry, am here... at the very least," He coughed up more blood, "I will fight to uphold the name of Elbaf!" He regained his footing, as the three could only watch.

[hansolmates]

remote learning (m)

summary; working remote sucks, and you would love a little relief. after buying a new toy to blow off some steam, you’re baffled when you can’t cum. however, jungkook thinks you’re doing it wrong, and shows you a thing or two. pairing; neighbor!jungkook x (f) reader genre/warnings; fluff, humor, slightly insecure mc, this is pure FILTH—use of a remote controlled vibrator, do not and i repeat DO NOT try foreplay during a zoom call in the event u get fired im not responsible, phone sex, jungkook’s a meanie in control, cum eating, doggy, and topping it off with some sweet missionary bc jk has purty eyes, unprotected (wrap the pickle before u tickle folks) excessive use of the petname [redacted] w/c; 5.7k a/n; this fic manifested bc of work. and i!! am!! frustrated!! i think we all need a lil jk relief so here it goes! as always ty to @chillingtae​ / @eerieedits​ for this FANTASTIC fic banner, please go check vivi out if u have taste okok part 2: distance learning drabbles; 01

if u like this fic pls consider giving it a like and a share💕💕💕💕

“Tomorrow morning, same time at 9AM. Remember to have your reports alphabetized and itemized,” your supervisor says, but the only thing you can focus on is the abnormal amount of bonsai plants in his living room. 

“Alright now it’s time for the union to talk COVID protocol,” you frown when Mr. Kim moves ownership of the Zoom call to your union rep, who pulls up a Powerpoint. You feel your eyes burn at the sight: an itinerary containing over thirty-eight slides. 

“For fuck’s sake—” 

You so desperately want to turn off the camera and flop in your bed. Since working remotely you haven’t been operating in the most ideal of workspaces. You live in a one-room apartment with a communal kitchen downstairs, so you really only have four square meters to stretch your limbs around between breaks. You’ve pushed your bed aside and shoved an office chair between the bed and the wall, leaving you to squirm between ten centimeters of space. You have no desk because well, the little rectangle space is prioritized for your portable stove and meals. 

The meeting drones on for another hour, until your brain melts to liquid and your limbs feel like Jell-O. Furthering your anxiety as they talk about protocol that never ends up happening, delays that continue to pile up, and the anger that’s been bubbling between the higher ups and little goldfish employees like you. 

When you finally shut off the camera and fling your laptop under the bed, you still feel unsettled. Probably because your work life and home life have merged together, and it’s hard for you to separate work and pleasure. 

Speaking of pleasure. 

Your hand blindly reaches under your bed, looking for the pretty pink oval you purchased last week. Cleaned and ready to use, the little remote-controlled vibrator sits plainly in your palm. 

Needless to stay you’ve been in a bit of a dry spot these past few months. With a fear to go out and meet someone new, you’ve been left with yourself and your fantasies. That’s fine, but lately your old vibrator isn’t cutting it. It’s unfortunate, you think you’re messing up your libido by buying toy after toy, but you’re horny and lonely. 

Linking your phone’s app to the remote, you ignore the messages that have been beeping your feed since early morning. 

[11:21] Jeon: let’s do lunch! 

[11:23] Jeon: hehe i feel like i belong in mean girls. Do lunch💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️

[2:20] Jeon: u loozer. Come eat dinner with us upstairs @6

[2:24] Jeon: dropping off a snack for u 

Another element of feeling horny and lonely? Jeon Jungkook. 

You two shouldn’t have even met each other. You live off crumbs on the first floor while he and his roommates are livin’ it up on top in the penthouse. One day a few months ago he crashed into you while working out, having run up and down the whole flight of stairs at least three times before deciding to collapse on you between the second and first floor. 

Despite the black mask that hugged his sharp jawline, you had felt nothing but attractiveness ooze off of him. Under his hoodie was nothing but curved muscle. He smelled so soft and sweet despite the fact that he was damp with sweat. 

The rest is history. After that day he seemed to show up everywhere, jogging more prominently on your floor and doing exercises at your level’s gym. He says he likes you, likes your company. He’s wormed his way intermittently, whether he’s seeing you struggle with an armful of groceries or when he hears you screaming over an Among Us match (according to Jungkook, the walls are thinner on the bottom floors.) 

The idea of Jungkook doting on you doubly frustrates you. He seemingly appears as the perfect man, unaffected by the stresses of the world. Jungkook’s job lets him work from home anyway, and he definitely had enough room in the penthouse for his own office. He works out, probably has a girlfriend and enough friends for you to gradually phase out of this weird neighbor interest. 

So you ignore his seemingly harmless messages, focusing on getting the settings right on the vibrator. You feel your pussy jolt a little in excitement, watching the silver and pearl pink oval shake in your grasp. You smile a bit to yourself, immediately finding your iPad for your favorite videos and some pillows to support your back. 

Half an hour later however, that excitement soon goes sour. 

“Fuck,” you bite your lip, frustrated tears streaming down your face, “fuck fuck fuck!” 

This isn’t a set of explicatives out of pleasure, unfortunately. 

No matter what you do, you won’t cum. You can’t cum. Barely wet, hardly a drop glossing your folds. You don’t even want to bother getting out the lube at this point because you are so disappointed. 

The vibrator is going at the highest setting, one that your neighbors can probably hear if they were home at this time of the day. You cease to care at this point, because the job is undone because you haven’t come undone. 

You don’t know why this is happening. Maybe it’s because you’ve had the liberty to touch yourself in complete silence, now that your neighbors have been confined to their homes indefinitely. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since you’ve relied only on your touch, that your body is tired of the monotony and needs more.

You bang the heels of your feet against your flimsy mattress, feeling whiny and utterly dissatisfied. Pulling the vibrator from your clit, you glare at the infuriating toy.

“You’re supposed to be helping me out of my dry spell,” you chastise, throwing the toy across the bed, sliding onto the carpet, “I get you’re not Jeon’s dick, but you gotta help a sister out.” 

With a sigh, you fall into a bout of exhaustion. Not from a round of orgasms, but from the week’s stress and no way to let it out. 

You wake up bleary and disoriented, practically melding through the mattress. The sky is pink and blue, washed in a sea of corals and purples. It comes from the incessant banging. 

“Stop it,” you whine more to yourself than whoever dares to disturb your sleep, pulling up your panties and a pair of navy dolphin-trim shorts. “Whoever you are I’m comin’ so stop!” 

Swinging the door open in two strides you’re met with a chipper Jeon Jungkook; looking all cute and sweet in his big hoodie and smelling like a rosebud. 

“It’s 6:30,” he narrows his eyes playfully at you, “dinner’s in the oven.” 

“You left your oven on,” you deadpan, turning around to grimace at the mess that’s your one-room apartment. 

“Yes, so we have exactly ten minutes before my kitchen explodes in flames,” Jungkook chirps, closing the door behind you. 

You don’t even bother to tell him to excuse the mess, ignore the pile of bras hanging on your vanity and the unpacked groceries that sit at the edge of your mini-fridge. It’s far too late to salvage your dignity and Jungkook’s too damn polite to call you out on your state of slob. Although, as you pull out a bottle of wine tucked in the back of your fridge you blurt, “I can hear your fingers tingling to clean up my mess.” 

When you turn around Jungkook stuffs his hands in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie, supposedly to stop himself from cleaning up. With a pout he says, “Can’t help it, Jimin says I’m currently manifesting a strong display of Virgo energy this month. Whatever that means.” 

Jabbing your feet in a pair of slides you follow Jungkook out the door. The hallways are quiet and barren, yet the silence isn’t suffocating as you two pile into the elevator. Jungkook opens the keypad underneath the regular boring buttons, revealing a sleek little set of light-up buttons that have the code to the penthouse. Faaaannnnccy. 

“Tryna look?” he jokes, cupping his hands to block your vision. 

You scoff, “I’m sure it’s something easy like 0000.” 

“You’re wrong. It’s 1234,” he replies cheekily. 

The door dings open and you’re met with yet another door. Jungkook presses his thumb to the biometric scanner, and a pleasant ringer tings in response. 

The penthouse smells like a mix of tonight’s dinner, savory, combined with a cinnamon apple candle. Jungkook is a fan of scented candles, ever since he got a whiff of your lavender vanilla burner. 

“Where’s Taehyung?” you ask, more out of your own anxiousness than anything. Taehyung’s  your buffer, the hyper roommate being someone to distract you from Jungkook’s incessant aura. 

“Dunno,” he shrugs, flicking on the oven light to peer inside. You see the telltale signs of a mean lasagna, the shredded cheese on top crisping to a delicious-looking golden brown, “anyway, you’re my friend first.” 

As grotesque as it sounds, Jungkook always finds his way to worm his way under your skin and find homage there. “Possessive much?” you quirk a brow, folding your arms over your chest even though there’s nothing to hide. 

“What can I say,” Jungkook’s legs stretch out as he squats down to your level, “I really fell for you.” 

“Gross,” you try to convince yourself, ignoring the thudding in your chest, “you technically fell on me, weirdo.” 

Dinner is a quick affair. He cuts slices of lasagna and brings it to the couch, where you’re pouring glasses of wine in crystal glasses. They’re so clean and shiny you can see your reflection in the gold liquid. You grimace at the bottle, normally this would be poured in a mug or your sippy cup, tonight your liquid’s getting a high-end pour. 

You two pull up an old anime to fill up the room, but most of it is spent in playful banter. Jungkook prattles on about his day, showing you all the cool updates he’s achieved during work. An app developer. A very on-brand, lucrative job for him. You love your job but it isn’t nearly as exciting as Jungkook’s, so you just let yourself be supportive and ask questions when needed. 

When the subject of you comes up, you shake your head and stuff your face with another cut of al dente pasta.

“Not interestin’ Jeon,” you mumble, groaning at how delicious his cooking is. What can’t he do? “Is this oregano? Is the secret ingredient toasted oregano—” 

“You’re deflecting.” 

Your shoulders slump, “I’m not very interesting, I tell you everything I do during the week and nothing has changed since March.” 

“Oh, not everything,” Jungkook mutters under his breath. You furrow your brows as his hands stuff themselves in his hoodie pocket. Is he upset you won’t tell him about your work stress? “And you’re very interesting, I’ll have you know.” 

“Yeah?” a small smile tugs on your lips. You sink further into his cottonball of a couch, feeling utterly soft and meldable at his words.

“Very,” Jungkook gets up from the couch, looking down at you, “want something sweet?” 

The prospect of dessert has you excited. Jungkook really is the perfect man, so kind and knows exactly when you’re craving something for your sweet tooth. You move to get up, only for you to sink further between the two large cushions of the loveseat. “Help me, ’m stuck,” you pout.

Jungkook giggles, and holds out his palm, “Hand,” he says simply.

You immediately reach for his larger palm, and you gasp when you feel something cold and soft touch your palm. As if you’ve been burned, you tug your hand back. But Jungkook’s hand is massive, the large ink-painted palm curling around your own, and it’s almost painful the way he clutches your hand so fiercely. 

When he’s sure you’re not going to drop it, he releases your hand. 

Nestled in your palm, is the new vibrator you left on the carpet this afternoon.

“Jeon,” you laugh tonelessly, hating the way Jungkook’s neutral expression mocks you, “you found my USB? Thanks, I know—” 

“Know that you’re having a hard time coming?” Carefully extracting your plate from your lap, he places it on the coffee table before Jungkook cages you between the couch. You shrink further into the plush seat, “I tried being a good neighbor, but you didn’t answer my texts. I heard you when I tried dropping off some snacks before dinner. Didn’t know you were into toys.” 

“Oh, c’mon Jeon. It’s 2020 and we’re confined,” well, in this scenario you’re confined, “everyone has a sex toy.” 

“Hm, I don’t have one,” Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, pretending to be deep in thought, “so, can you be my toy?” 

Fuck. 

It’s then that you feel the tell-tale signs of arousal. Your eyes widen, innocently surprised at the fact that Jeon Jungkook contained so much power in so few words. You snap your legs shut immediately, sealing any possibility of you dripping down your panties. 

“I heard how disappointed you were, doll,” his arms have no problems as he bends down so he’s eye-level with your crotch, “it was pathetic, really. You couldn’t even cum on your own? You need someone to help you?” 

“N-no,” you cross your arms defensively, frowning, “you–you’re being mean, Jeon.”

“And what, you’re gonna cry about it?” Jungkook smirks, now sitting on his knees. His hands run over the velvety fabric of the couch, making a beeline for your thighs. Gooseflesh rises to the surface, and he immediately presses down to iron out the little bumps that travel across your skin, “I do wanna make you cry, but not because you can’t cum. You’ll cry because of how good I’m gonna make you feel.” 

You gape, clutching the vibrator in your hand. 

A little bit of your sweet, cute Jungkook resurfaces, softening when he notices your lack of response, “If you’ll let me, of course.” 

You finally drag the words from your throat, “I-it’s been a long time since I’ve… been with someone.” 

He tilts his head, “Same here. I just figured we could break that spell together.” 

What are you going to say? No? A dishonor to your sexuality, that would be. Jungkook’s offering himself up on a silver platter, and even though you do wish it was a little more you’ll take the sex. 

You nod, forgetting to speak again. Jungkook chuckles. 

“I want to hear you say it, doll.” 

Doll. Like you’re his little fucktoy, malleable and bendable to all his whims. Fuck, why is that so hot to you? “Yes, I want to have sex with you,” you declare, your voice sounding more breathy than confident, “a-and, you can be mean. If you want.” 

His thumbs press little light indents in your skin, over and over as if fascinated by the way your skin is so soft and gummy in his grip. “Okay,” Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to pull out his phone, jabbing a few things that you don’t see, “let’s do a little test drive, then.” 

In seconds, the little egg vibrates in your touch. He puts it on the lowest setting, a soft buzz echoing in the large living room, then at a bruising pace that forces you to curl your fingers around it otherwise it’d fall. Your eyes flicker over to Jungkook’s, who’s focusing entirely on the way the pink and silver egg moves, dilated in interest. 

“Fuck, and you thought this thing was broken?” he asks, taking it out of your palm and turning off the app. 

“Maybe I’m the broken one,” you admit softly, wringing your shirt. 

Silence seeps. Jungkook looks at you, brows furrowed as if he’s annoyed. “Don’t ever say that,” when you don’t respond, he grabs your chin, and you gasp when he forces you to look at him, “you’re not broken, doll. Everyone’s body is different, and we’re going to discover yours together. Got it?” 

“Y-yes,” you reply immediately, mesmerized by his seriousness. 

“Good,” he slaps the vibrator back in your palm, “and in case you’re wondering, this goes inside.” 

“I know how it works,” you scowl, “but won’t you show me, just in case?” 

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Jungkook gets up for good, piling the dishes in his arms and walking to the sink. You immediately miss his warmth, “but I think patience is a virtue. I have a developer meeting with some clients in America a little bit, actually. So just wait for my call, yeah?” 

You frown, looking down at the vibrator in your hands. How much longer would you have to wait? 

It happens at exactly three in the afternoon the next day, at the start of your staff meeting. You’re so tired of the same information being thrown back and forth, coupled with Brian and Jae having to fight over some mundane subject in the itinerary that no one cares about. For goodness sake, it’s Friday! What else would you possibly need to be meeting about? 

You’re wearing a button-down dress shirt on top, no pants on the bottom. Your bare feet slap against the hardwood floor, antsy. It’s been a long day at work and your back hurts, you’re half tempted to dip out of this meeting and hope no one notices. 

Your phone buzzes on your bed, and you blanch. 

[3:01] Jeon: thanks for waiting, doll. It’s time 

[3:01] Jeon: put it in

Shamelessly, your vibrator sits next to your phone, cleaned and ready to go. 

[3:02] Jeon: need help? Answer my call

Making sure that your Zoom call is muted, you quickly answer the incoming phone call. Jungkook and you say nothing at first, waiting. The phone just ticks with the amount of time passing, one minute, two minutes, and so on. 

Mr. Kim drones unknowingly, “So when we do return to live instruction, expect a strict process when returning. PPE must be enforced so our response team will—” 

“How wet were you last night when you went home?” Jungkook asks languidly, speaking over your boss’ voice. 

Your eyes widen, flickering back and forth between the phone and the camera displaying Mr. Kim’s boring speech. 

“Doll, are you hard of hearing?” 

“N-no,” your lips barely move, eyes glued to the camera and plastering an expressionless face, “I heard you.” 

“Then give me an answer,” he says patiently, “how wet were you?” 

“Very wet.”

“Little more detail.” 

“Soaking wet,” you flush, thankful that your work laptop can only stream in 360p. “I haven’t gotten that wet in such��such a long time. My pussy was practically clinging to my underwear when I washed up that night.” 

A heady, heavy groan resonates through your phone. You feel that voice straight into your panties, jolting the nerves awake. 

“Fuck, you have a way with words, don’t you?” Jungkook chuckles breathlessly, “c’mon, touch yourself for me. Swirl your fingers around your clit, slowly.” 

It takes a second for you to position yourself, spreading your legs in a way that your coworkers don’t question why you’re moving so much. A quick scan over all the tired faces says that you’re okay. Shyly, you press your fingers against your clit, doing as he says. 

“Oh,” you say more to yourself than him, feeling the wetness already coating your fingers. This is earlier than usual. 

“What?” 

“I’m already wet,” you say, amazed, “I haven’t gotten wet this quickly in a long time.” 

He scoffs, “If you’re so wet now, shove it in.” 

You frown. You did tell him to be mean. But the idea of him telling you what to do, giving you all the porn-worthy experiences to accomplish has you relenting. Discreetly grabbing the egg from the bed, you bring it down to your panties. Swirling the cold metal around your clit, you coat it in your juices. 

It’s still a little too early to be putting anything in, but you can take it. Slowly relaxing, you slip the little egg in your pussy, wiggling it a little to make sure it’s secure. It’s a strange sort of pressure, and it pokes against your clit from the inside, but you enjoy the stretch. 

“It’s in,” you reply softly. 

“Good.” 

You wait. You listen to Jae make yet another speech about the importance of masks and gloves, and then Brian has to interject and say that gloves are literally useless because they spread germs around no matter what. Even though everyone else is muted, you can practically feel the misery seeping through the screen. For a second you almost forget about Jungkook on the line. Why isn’t Mr. Kim stopping them? This is the thin line stopping you from the weekend, unbelievable! 

“Eep!” you jolt in your cheap seat, the egg buzzing in your pussy. Your hands fly out, gripping the edges of your computer. 

It hits different when Jungkook is in control. Knowing that with a flick of his thumb he can have you careening, whining for more or less depending on how hard he wants you go. Your folds hug the egg, nestling it a fleshy grip as it brushes against your clit the more you squirm. 

“You look so pretty, trying so hard to hold in your moans,” Jungkook says wondrously from the other line. 

“W-what?” you frown, “you can see me?” 

And immediately, you go to your trackpad to fish between the hundred-and-one employees also in this call. At the very end, you see a very simple name with no mic or camera: Jeon JK. He’s here. 

“Worked in IT, doll. Know a thing or two,” he says, “now, tell me. What are you thinking about right now?” 

“Y-you,” you mumble shyly. 

“So,” Mr. Kim finally ends that part of the meeting, thank goodness, “what’s everyone’s plans this weekend? I’m going apple picking with a couple of my friends from college. Hoseok is a bright bean who loves to take long walks—”

What the hell. You squirm uncomfortably in your seat, hyperaware that Jungkook’s watching your every move. You make glossy, stubborn eyes at the camera, trying not to move when he jacks up the vibrator to a higher setting. 

Jae’s of course the next employee to unmute his microphone, “Well, me and the bae are going house hunting…” 

“Fuck!” you cry, moving the computer to the left so you can pretend you’re picking up something. But in fact you're leaning your head against your mattress, frustrated. “I don’t fucking care about your weekend plans, Jae! Shut the fuck up! You wanna know my weekend plans?” Jungkook’s laughing at you from the other line, but it only spurs you on, “my plans are fucking my super hot neighbor! He’s a hundred times more interesting than you and he’s going to make me come a hundred times this weekend—oh fuck!” 

Your fingers latch onto your panties, drawing random squiggles and letters between the fabric. You’re damp, soaked to the core. You need some sort of friction, a reprieve from this hellish week.

“You flatter me, doll,” Jungkook is definitely grinning through the phone, you can practically hear his shit-eating grin, “I think you deserve a reward. As soon as you put the camera back on your pretty face.” 

Quickly, you sit up to put the camera on you again. Once again, the employees are in a daze, listening to whatever the next person gabs about their weekend. Even though you can’t really see it, you’re sure Jungkook has a 1080p camera upstairs that shows off your blotchy face. You moan a little bit, lips closed as the egg buzzes against your pussy lips. 

“You’re so cute, doll,” Jungkook praises, “you look so professional, holding it in. What could I do to make you unravel? Hm, what if you imagined the taste of my cock on your lips? Fuck, I’d love to slap your cute little face with my cock, baby doll–”

“y/n?” Mr. Kim calls your name, and you freeze, “what about you? Any plans this weekend?” 

Jungkook doesn’t sound angry that your boss has inadvertently cut him off. “Answer him, doll. Be a good little employee.” 

Like a zombie, you move towards the unmute button. “I–I uh,” you shake your head, trying to formulate a coherent response, “I’m going on a date this weekend.” 

Jungkook jacks up the vibrator to high, and your legs are shaking. 

“Awh, a date!” Mr. Park unmutes himself, practically shoving the camera in his face, “how much do you like the lucky lad or lady?” 

“I like him uh—ah—” you pretend to think, covering a hand over your mouth to hide the fact that you feel your orgasm fast approaching, “I like him a lot!” you finally blurt, “I’m, uh, really excited to see him.” 

“Best of luck to you,” Mr. Kim says brightly, “so Jimin, any news on those investors you had dinner with this weekend? I heard a lot of positive things…”

You immediately mute your mic, and pretend to lag as you fumble around with the camera. Shoving the laptop to the side once more you groan into your sheets, “Fuck—fuck yes—” you moan, shaking your head as you dip your fingers into your panties. The vibrator still continues at its bruising pace, spurring you to a high you haven’t peaked to in months.

“Good job,” Jungkook says simply, “could barely notice that you have a little helper fiddling around your dripping pussy.”

“J-Jeon,” you cry, “I’m, ’m gonna cum.” 

“Yeah?” Jungkook eggs you on, “you’re gonna cum around that cute little vibrator? Gonna soak it in your juices?” 

“W-wish it was your cock I was soaking,” you whisper truthfully, letting your orgasm take you at the thought. Your folds flutter around the vibrator, bringing you to a level of sensitivity you’ve only dreamt of, “Ah, yes, Jeon. It feels s-so good!” 

“Yes baby,” Jungkook groans through the line, “feels good, huh?” 

Mr. Kim interrupts for the last time, “And with that, I think our meeting is adjourned. Have a wonderful weekend! Stay safe and—” 

You slam the laptop shut, grabbing your phone and keys. “I’m going up,” you mutter impatiently, already jabbing your feet in a pair of slippers and locking the door to your apartment behind you. 

“I’m waiting,” he replies, eagerness trimming his voice. 

“Password?” you ask quickly, jabbing the elevator door shut once you step inside. Thank goodness you’re alone, you think as you pull your dress shirt further down your ass. 

“Did you forget already?” he teases, “I told you, it’s 1234.” 

Thankfully, the doors zip you up straight to the penthouse. The connection is always a little spotty in elevators, and you sigh longingly when you feel the buzz jolt and leave it’s momentum, quickly losing its rhythm between your dripping folds. Once you get to the top and the elevator doors open the second door immediately swings open, revealing a soft but aroused-looking Jungkook. He looks fresh from the shower, absolutely radiant and delicious looking. 

You don’t hesitate to run up to him, and Jungkook immediately cups his face in your hands, pressing his lips to yours. 

You’re practically on your tippy-toes, and you squeak against his lips when he hooks his arms around your shoulders, immediately lifting you up. You wrap your legs around his trim waist, not wanting to stop kissing him. He’s like the sweetest ambrosia, a taste you can’t get enough of. 

The connection to your vibrator has resumed, and you can’t help but grind helplessly under Jungkook’s clothed abs as he carries the both of you to his bedroom.

“N-need you to fuck me,” you bury your head in the crook of his neck, pressing quick kisses to his jawline, “I want you s-so badly.” 

“Hello to you too,” he husks, shutting the bedroom door with his foot. 

Jungkook drops you unceremoniously, and your limbs splay out on the fresh bedsheets of his feather-soft mattress.

“You look gorgeous like this, doll.” he sighs longingly, a hand going under your buttondown to press against your soaked panties. His hand lingers on the way your pussy moves in tandem with the vibrator. 

“J-Jeon please I can’t take it—” 

“Stop calling me that,” he snaps, hands leaving your skin.

You whine at the loss of contact, “Jeon, no. Jungkook. Kook, my Kook. Please, I need you.” 

That gets him going. His pretty chocolate brown eyes zero in on you, and he immediately shucks off his shirt and sweatpants, “How much do you need me?” he asks, pulling out his phone and pressing some buttons, “how much do you need your Kook?” 

The vibrator stops. You cry out in frustration, unsure if it’s because it’s off or because Jungkook’s taking too damn long. “I need you so much, Kook,” you warble with a pout, moving to undo the top buttons of your dress shirt to reveal your cleavage, “honey, you can have me all you want later today. I want you to slap my face with your dick, edge me until I cry, anything. I’m all yours, I’m your little doll. But please for now, I need to feel you inside me.” 

“Say no more,” his lips latch onto your neck, and you sigh at the skin-to-skin contact. His hand fiddles under your shirt, clutching a breast and slapping it so hard it bounces back and forth, “fuck, you’re so pretty.” 

His hand moves to your plain cotton panties, immediately shucking them off, “doll, you really are dripping,” he’s impressed, surprised when he has to untack the fabric from your glossy legs. He hangs the panties on his wooden headboard, a little ornament for him to jack off to later. 

His fingers brush over your folds, wasting no time to slip the vibrator out. He holds it between your faces, forcing you to stare at the pearly substance that coats the entirety of the egg. “Mm, tasty tasty,” he cooes, pink tongue darting out to lick a long strip across the oval. 

You tug him closer, pressing his lips to yours. He tastes a mixture of his own saliva and your arousal, and you grind helplessly against him. You feel how big his cock is, rock-hard and trying very diligently not to bust. He must have a crazy amount of control, and it drives you nuts. 

“Kook,” you frown, bumping your crotch with his.

“Impatient, good thing I am too,” he shucks off his boxers while you unbutton the rest of your shirt, “knees and hands, doll.” 

You don’t care how or what way he’ll take you. Fuck, he could bend you into an Auntie Anne’s pretzel and you’d comply. 

Arching your back so your ass is in the air, you wiggle around, hoping he’ll take the bait. That’s when you sigh, feeling the tip of his dick brush against your wetness.

“Soaking my cock already, baby,” he says, “you’re so good to me.” 

And finally, finally, he slips in. You don’t even care that it stretches you a little too far and too long, it’s been too damn long since you’ve had decent dick and Jungkooks far more than decent. 

He goes at a quick pace, finally showing how impatient he’s been all this time. Your moans and groans fill the room, a symphony of pleasure and pain as he stretches your walls to the brim. You hold a pillow to your chest, feeling woozy at the way his fat cock stretches you out. 

“F-fuck yeah,” the pace is hard, you practically feel it in your belly, and you love it. “You feel so fucking tight, baby,” he’s all up in your ear, kissing the lobe briefly, “I love the way you suck my cock back in.” 

“Kook,” you press your ass back, “harder, please. I’m your little doll, right? Y-you can fuck me however you want, as hard as you want! Please, ah—! Use me!” 

You cry out when he slips from your folds, immediately flipping you on your back. He wastes no time to wet his dick, lifting one leg over his shoulder to have you deeper. This position is far more intimate, and your noses are practically touching as he thrusts into you. 

You can’t believe you’re in bed with Jeon Jungkook. This must be a dream, a really great, really long wet dream. You crumble in his grip, and you lift a shaky hand to run through his thick black strands. 

“Why’d you make me wait so long?” you cry, staring right into his glittering eyes, “why couldn’t you come for me after your call last night?” 

“Why’d I make you wait?” he grits, crushing the flesh between your hip bones so he can have more leverage to pound into you, “why did you make me wait? Since March, I’ve wanted you. I told you I liked you, told you I fell for you.” 

“T-thought it was a joke,” you warble pathetically, breasts bouncing at his relentless rhythm.

“You think th-this is a joke?” for further emphasis, he glides slower, making you feel just how large and thick he is against your folds, “I want you, doll. Y-yeah, fu-fuck. Want to feed you every day, feed you lasagna, feed you with my cum, make you happy.” 

“I—I want that too, Kook,” you’re a pile of pink mush, and you feel your eyes prick from the overwhelming emotions that have washed over both of you. “Sh-shit, Kook. I think, I think I’m gon’ cum again.” 

“Good, you first,” his hand plays figure 8s with your precious pearl, seeping with arousal and coating his cock in delicious lubrication. 

It doesn’t take long for you to cum. You’re holding him as tight as you can, nails digging into his shoulders as you clench around his cock. Jungkook cums shortly after, and you keen at the sensitivity when his hot cum coats your walls. “Baby doll,” he exhales, thrusting lazily. The both of you feel your combined arousal drip between the two of you, onto your skin and onto his sheets, “y-you’re amazing.” 

His softened cock slips out of you, and his hands immediately reach over to swirl around the heady cream over your engorged pussy. You moan when he brings his fingers to your lips, “Open, doll.” 

It tastes salty yet sweet, and you suckle around his finger with a cute little pop. Jungkook grins brightly, feeling like he won the lottery. 

“Are my walls that thin?” you pout, pressing closer to him when he pulls the blankets to your chest. 

“Very,” Jungkook nods with a chuckle, tucking the two of you in, “now get some rest, doll. You presented a lot of offers to me earlier, and I intend to go through with them.” 

You smile into his chest, melty and feeling utterly sated. 

[bloodnbunnies]

MSA/RE Village AU where the gang stars as the 4 lords

Lewis = Alcina Dimitrescu

In his case, it turns into Lord Pepper. He fits Alcina’s role the best because, not only is Lewis the tallest of the group, but, similar to Alcina, he is very showy and very dramatic. Also, castle’s and mansions have some things in common, like they’re both very fancy, and pretty big, etc. In old European times, Lewis would definitely have an extravagant castle. I think Lady Dimitrescu’s whole motif fits Lewis extremely well. The deadbeats could fill in for the daughters quite well, although they won’t be introduced as his children in this AU. Just his closest servants or whatnot.

Arthur = Karl Heisenberg

Or Lord Kingsmen. Heisenberg has the whole metal thing going for him AND he has created robots and the like, showing that he has a knack for robotics. Given that Arthur is a mechanic and ALSO has a knack for robotics and all that, it fits perfectly. While Arthur, canonically, is a much more anxious individual and lacks the confidence Heisenberg has (at least in the social area gsgsgd), I think if he were in the place of a mutated villain, being a cocky bastard would definitely be a part of Arthur’s villain persona. Also I think he’d look cool in Heisenberg’s outfit.

Vivi = Donna Beneviento

Lady Yukino. This one is less based in the abilities Donna has, and more of the general feel/idea, if you get what I mean. Donna’s house is the creepiest part of the game, and given Vivi’s interest in the paranormal and horror, if she were a villain, she would 100% scare the shit out of her victims, play with them some. I can see her being into creepy dolls and stuff like that. She would put up much more of a fight than Donna did in the actual game though, so going through her would be more difficult, and probably even more scary than it was in Village. Also, this is more of a random thought that I think would be interesting, but perhaps Angie could be replaced with a doll version of Shiromori instead? They’re both made out of wood, and Angie seems to have her own personality, so doll Shiromori would too. Idk, I think it would be neat, and a way to integrate Shiro into the story.

Mystery = Salvatore Moreau

Lord Mystery. Kitsune are shapeshifters, and can shift into a human form or human-looking form. So since Mystery is an animal that has the capability of looking like a human, I think it fits. I’m imagining some sort of fox-human monstrosity for him. Since Moreau’s case is a fish-human monstrosity, the part animal theme stays consistent with Mystery. Also I definitely think Mystery would be a whiny, self-pitying bastard if he were a villain. Very vindictive and manipulative and stuff. Fits him perfectly. Not second-handedly saying Moreau annoys me in the game, I actually really like his character as a villain, it’s just a bit of ire from canon Mystery’s absolutely tomfoolery in MSA leaking out since Mystery, y’know… isn’t supposed to be a bad guy lol. At least not anymore. But I digress, he’s fucked up a lot, and as I said, definitely would be one of those self-pitying villains, and is constantly going “oh woe is me!”

Added Bonus: Reverb plays the part of Mother Miranda, given that both of them are the major villain in their own respective media. So Father Reverb it’d be called, I suppose. (Idk I’ve always just called ??? an “it” as opposed to a “he”, maybe, for me at least, it’d just turn out as Parent Reverb lol.)

Just wanted to put this out here! I wanted to draw it but I unfortunately do not have any motivation for art anymore, and I absolutely hate it. I wish I could go back to the old days where I could draw consistently 😭. Who knows, maybe I could bring myself to draw it out eventually. Hopefully.

If anybody who may be possibly interested, feel free to comment your own opinions or ideas! Or perhaps even expand a little more and figure out who could possibly fit into Ethan, Mia’s and Rosemary’s places in the game if you want. I was just thinking about the gang and then started to think abt Village, and realized, ‘hey, the gang could actually fill the places of the lords quite well. Some better than others, but still well nonetheless.’

[one-piece-dumpster-fire]

Hi can i have a hcs of being the older sister of vivi killer drake and katakuri who is nice and compasionate please-Sarah

I'm sorry this took... embarrassingly long to complete. And I'm not gonna lie, it was rather difficult for me to come up with good headcanons for this request. I'm really not proud of this one, but... hopefully you'll like it at least a bit, dear ^^'

Having a kind older sister headcanon

Nefeltari Vivi

Vivi absolutely adores and looks up to you!

secretly, she wants to grow up to be just as much of an amazing and kind person as you are

however she can also be a bit of a brat and a little rebel from time to time; especially in her younger years she would often switch between wanting to be with you and wanting to be left alone in a matter of seconds

sometimes, when she's in an especially mischievious mood, she even goes as far as to hide from you on the palace grounds all day long

seeing how your mother died when you and your little sister were still pretty young, your dad Cobra was initially the one who tried to take on both parental roles and raise you to the best of his abilities; but since he's also the King of Alabasta and has a lot of responsibilities to take care of, it didn't quite work out in the long run. Thus you jumped in for him, taking on both a sisterly as well as a motherly role for Vivi as she was growing up

still, Cobra is extremely protective of his two girls and therefore you're rarely allowed to leave his sight or the palace. But that ain't stopping you from occasionally sneaking out in secret, and once Vivi is old enough to accompany you, you bring her along. Those little 'trips' later on fueled her desire to sneak out on her own and make friends with the other children in Alabasta

every evening, when it's time for bed, she sits down with you and proudly tells you about the things she did that day while you brush through her hair

although she's eager to share most of her hobbies and adventures with you, the one thing that Vivi is extremely cautious about is letting you meet her friends. Grown people aren't allowed in their club, so when she finally decides to introduce you to Koza and the rest, you have to promise not to tell anyone

you're the one person Vivi can confide in 100% and she knows that her secrets are always safe with you- even from Papa Cobra

so it's only natural that you were also the first person she told about her plans to infiltrate Baroque Works

and while Vivi is away on her secret mission, you make sure to help your little sis from the inside by delivering informations about the current situation in Alabasta. All while keeping up the facade of the good older princess who believes that Sir Crocodile is a hero, of course

when she finally comes back home with Luffy and the Strawhats, you do everything in your power to assist them in their plan to get the country back from the Warlord. With an all-out civil war right around the corner Vivi especially needs you as emotional support and counts on your wisdom to help with her decisions. You're her big sister after all, and if there's anyone she needs to have by her side while she's facing all of the coming chaos, it's you.

Killer

you know those rebellious teenagers that are always like "Moooom, don't tell me what to do!!!!"? That's Killer, but in little brother form

he definitely doesn't like being coddled or looked after. Yes, he gets into fights and danger regularly, but it's normal. He doesn't need you to chew him out for it every time

despite that, he really really does love you though. Hence why he's occasionaly pushing you away- as pirate he's living a dangerous life, and he doesn't want his nice and sweet big sister to get caught up in it

his way of showing apprecation for you has always been a bit unusual, even back when he was young. One time, when you were still living together, Killer tried to surprise you by cooking your favorite food for your birthday; but he ended up setting your house on fire instead, forcing you to move again

when you were still children you would occasionally babysit your little brother as well as his best bud Kid, and things often got out of control when you three were together

especially the little redhead seemed to be in a rather provocative mood whenever you were around. Sometimes Kid would declare that you'll be his woman one day, which always ticked off Killer and caused him to start fights with his friend

even to this day, Killer still tries to keep you away from Kid. He adores his friend and captain, but also really doesn't want him to try and get flirty with you... again. That's just all kinds of wrong

it's not just Kid though, no one else in the crew is allowed to comment on your looks/attricteveness/whatever either, or they'll have to deal with a pretty mad Killer

nowadays he's a lot more relaxed when it comes to you and your presence around the crew though. From time to time he still berates or tells you that you are too friendly for your own good, but deep down he's appreciative of your caring nature and how you always treated him with kindness

one thing that never really changed is Killer's desire to cook by your side and show off all the things he learned within the past few years

you're the only person he feels the need to impress and who's criticism actually matters to him even if he accepts it with a scoff

X Drake

although he's the younger sibling, Drake is actually the protective one. Because of your kind nature he's always afraid that someone might try to use you

he's pretty clingy as a kid, and it honestly doesn't change much as he's getting older

you were the one that took care of him after your father died, so naturally he's always been looking at you for guidance and comfort from a young age on

as a result you're the only person that can claim to know Drake 100%. He can't keep secrets from you either, sometimes it's even as if you know him better than he does

although he knows he can always come to you with his problems and secrets, Drake is pretty hesitant to do so. Scared that you might get dragged into his dangerous affairs, he heavy-hearted decides that it's for the best to keep you in the dark about his life as double-agent

although he feels a bit guilty to keep you in the dark about his affiliations, it does have some perks as well. Thanks to his job he was able to secure you a nice house in a calm (and most importantly, protected) living area that's close to his marine base

you could say it's his way of 'repaying' you for taking care of him for so long. Drake loves you and can't help but feel as if he's in your debt

as long as his job allows it he makes sure to visits you at least once or twice a month to make sure that you're doing good

during those visits he often thinks back to what your life used to be like when you were kids, and the mood quickly turns sober as he remembers his abusive father. That's usually when it's time for you to step in and change the topic

just ask Drake about his crushes or if there is a woman he's got his eyes on and he'll turn all sorts of red again lol

huh, maybe there is someone he's interested in. But he can't tell you because you'd probably just offer to help him win her over, which is bound to end in disaster...

instead of talking about his preferences when it comes to women he'd rather tell you about the new limited edition Germa action figure he managed to get his hands on! And boom- just like that, your little bro is in a better mood again

can you imagine how excited Drake would be to tell you about his encounter with Stealth Black tho...? You'd probably have to calm him down during the call so he won't hyperventilate lmao

Charlotte Katakuri

much like Killer, Katakuri also doesn't like being coddled

back when you were young and still sailing around with the family, it was usually your and Perospero's unofficial job to look after the younger siblings while Big Mom was doing... y'know, pirate stuff

most of the kids were doing fine under your watch, but Katakuri always had a strong tendency to get in trouble. You would often scold him for starting fights with others and tell him that he shouldn't pay any mind to whatever insults they throw at him; unfortunately though he hardly ever listened

and after the incident with Brûlée, he completely isolated himself from everyone- including you. He also felt a tinge of guilt for not listening to your advice, since it might have kept his sister from getting hurt

it takes years, almost decades until Katakuri feels ready to open up again- and if it wasn't for how compassionate you were and that you never judged or pressured him, it might have taken even longer

eventually he tries to mend your relationship by inviting you to one of his meriendas, where you finally get the chance to talk about everything

from there on out you two slowly get reacquainted with one another and become friends again

and this time, he actually listens to your advice and takes it to heart

Katakuri still keeps up the appearance of the strong and cold older brother around the other siblings, but when he's with you he's more relaxed and sometimes even okay with talking about his pent-up frustration

whenever he returns from a mission he checks in with Mama first (that's obligatory) and then gets some donuts, pays you a visit to see how you've been holding up during the days he was gone, and explains what he's been up to

he's always looking out for you and whenever Mama suggests that it's time for you to marry some crazy psycho for the sake of an alliance, Katakuri would do everything in his powers to help you convince her that it was a bad idea

frankly Katakuri respects you more than his own mother and is very glad to have someone who doesn't put him on a pedestral or holds him to some insanely high standards. It makes him feel a bit more... human.

[unluckyxse7enart]

MysMarch2021: Heal

Notes: most likely au, intended to be set post-events of “The Future”, where the gang survives, Shiromori’s still gone and presumably they beat off ???. Everyone just sorta falls back into the pattern of being a quartet somehow but also are all dealing with a lot from the incident still. This is primarily a fluffy moment w Mystery and Vivi with some minor thoughts about angstier stuff. Unofficial title:

"Kitsune in a Cone of Shame"

-------

"Mystery, what do you think you're doing?"

He winced, ears flattening to his head so much they almost disappeared entirely into the crest of fur down his neck. Vivi's voice sounded stern. He was definitely in trouble.

"Mystery. Down."

Oh no, there was the Doghouse voice.

An unintentional whine sounded from his throat, and Mystery slowly, deliberately, removed his front paws from the sofa, trying to ease back into where he had them before - he couldn't see where he was putting them, but surely it couldn't be that har-

His left paw slid against nothing, pain flared up in his side, and with a startled yip he was on his way down to the carpeted floor below. He heard Vivi gasp, all traces of anger gone and replaced with an equal measure of distress, but she couldn't move fast enough for the short distance from the coffee table to the floor. Mystery's quick descent ended not with a muffled thud, but a humiliating clunk.

Vivi made a strangled noise, and once more Mystery's ears flattened, this time in annoyance than guilt. He knew that noise anywhere. That was her 'trying not to laugh' noise.

"Mys- Mystery? Are you... *hee!* are you ok?" She asked between poorly restrained snickers, and he let out a belligerent snort, nose mercifully suspended mere centimeters from the floor. At least, it would be merciful, were it not for the fact that he hadn't landed on his face due only to the damning plastic cone around his neck. Mystery sighed in annoyance.

"My side hurts, I have a flimsy plastic cone digging into my shoulderblades, and I do believe any dignity I once had, as a creature filled with more power and wisdom than the three of you combined, has been irrevocably shattered. But otherwise, yes, Vivi, I'm 'fine'," Mystery grumbled, paddling his front legs in a feeble attempt to either find the ground or scratch the menace ruining his honor off of his neck once and for all. Neither happened, and instead all that was achieved was a renewed fit of giggles from his owner as she watched her hapless former pet flail about like a flipped turtle.

"Ok, I- al-alright, just... Just hold still, I'll help you," she managed, still giggling as she got closer. Mystery cocked an eyebrow at her, although he couldn't see her through the opaque material surrounding his head.

"I'm surprised you're not calling Lewis and Arthur in to laugh at my misery, while you're at it," he groused.

"Oh I don't need to, rest assured I've immortalized this moment for all of us - and probably the Internet - to enjoy," she replied, the smirk on her face crystal clear in the tone of her voice. Mystery let out an indignant growl, even as he felt Vivi's cool hands gently positioning themselves around his waist where it was safe to touch. Curse modern cellphone technology. He barely even heard the shutter go off in all the fuss, but he probably shouldn't have been surprised.

"Besides, Lewis's a sap who cries whenever he sees an animal in distress, and I don't think Arthur will appreciate me interrupting his work for this, even if it is objectively the funniest thing on the planet,” Vivi continued, starting to reorient him off of the table. Mystery internally flinched at the mention of Arthur. That wasn't really the reason he wouldn't appreciate it, and they both knew it.

The gang had been doing their best to pull themselves together since what has come to be dubbed, the 'Murder Mystery' incident (Vivi applauded herself for the clever name at the time she suggested it; the boys gave her looks of what she elected to interpret as tired approval). A week and a half had passed by this point and, really, the entire group was still in their own various shambles - Mystery with his severe injuries, the loss of Shiromori, coming off of a malicious possession, and drained magic; Arthur with his destroyed prosthetic and reopened traumas and recalled memories, on top of brand new ones; Lewis as... well, Lewis, except. Not as the rest of them remembered him.

Vivi arguably came out with the most gain from the situation- being able to tap into her ancestral powers, regaining her memories of Lewis, or at least enough to not have her episodes anymore at the mention of him, and while she had been injured as well, it seemed to be healing up nicely, faster than Mystery's own - but he knew she was still putting on a cheerful face to be the glue that kept the gang together. She had to.

Arthur couldn't look at Mystery anymore, and barely left his room, while Lewis alternated between seemingly clingy and aloof with Vivi - most likely a mix of guilt and yearning, although the dog couldn't tell you what went on in the ghost's mind at this point. And Mystery... well, Mystery wasn't even allowed to jump up on the couch for fear of exacerbating his injuries.

Really, everyone stuck together because... that's just how they handled such crises in the past, more than anything. They didn't know what else to do.

In the face of that, Vivi - their headstrong, kind leader Vivi - had stepped up and done her best to make sure to keep things running as smoothly as possible. Even now, as Vivi gently guided Mystery carefully into a more comfortable position on the floor, being vigilant of his injuries while lifting and adjusting him - Mystery knew she was being especially considerate of him, even with her teasing and laughing at him. She almost never handled him so gently, and normally would have called the boys in without a thought regardless.

"Mystery? You doing ok there buddy?"

Mystery was shaken from his reflections as he noticed the worried tone returning to her voice, and he turned his head all the way to look at her, ears pricked.

"Oh, yes- yes, sorry Vivi. I got lost in thought. I'm alright, I don't think anything got too hurt," he said, hoping he anticipated her worries correctly. She snorted, clearly relieved, and gave him a scritch behind the ears.

"I'd hope not. That'd be really embarrassing even by our standards. What were you even trying to do with all that furniture climbing anyways?"

Mystery frowned, eyes darting away in embarrassment.

"Ah, well... I thought, if the problem with jumping up onto the sofa by myself was because a big jump could reopen my stitches, I thought smaller jumps would be safe to do." He was cut off by a squeak of laughter, and frowned more.

"Admittedly not my best moment. But I thought the coffee table would be an adequate stepstool, and I really miss being able to lay on my spot on the sofa on my own," he confessed.

"Aww, Mystery," Vivi sighed, rubbing his back, heeding his side as she did so.

"I know this sorta ruins that need for independence, but would it help if I gave you a lift up this time for your troubles?"

Mystery debated, before giving a tired smile.

"I would like that a lot."

Vivi nodded, getting up with a grunt before cautiously guiding his front paws onto the sofa. Then, once he was in position, she tucked her hands under his back feet, giving him enough lift to scrabble somewhat clumsily up without pulling too much. His short tail began wagging as he felt the comfortable cushioning beneath his paws, and he turned to face Vivi, beaming.

"Thank you, Vivi."

Vivi grinned back, about to speak, but Mystery continued.

"Not just for this, but for everything you've been doing for us all this time. I appreciate it a lot, I know we all do." Vivi's grin melted into a more mushy expression, eyes watery.

"Awww, Mystery that's so sw-"

She was cut off once more as, in an attempt to lick her cheek in thanks, Mystery instead bonked her in the face with the cone. Vivi grunted in surprise as she pulled back, rubbing her nose where the edge collided into her.

“Man, I'm starting to see why you hate your cone so much!” Vivi laughed, ruffling Mystery’s fur on his head as much as she could. Mystery huffed in indignation, leaning into the touch nonetheless.

“I fail to see why I even have it in the first place.”

“Sorry, bud - vet's orders! Wouldn't want you chewing on your injuries while they heal,” she smirked, lightly tugging on his ears to stroke and massage them. Mystery made a disgruntled noise in his throat as he eased himself into laying down.

“I know, I know… But it's not forever. You'll get better, and the cone will come off, and things will go back to normal, you'll see,” she intoned, leaning back against the sofa while she continued to absentmindedly pet him. He could hear the edge in her voice, and knew she was saying it for herself just as much as for him.

Unable to sooth her as he normally would, as previously proven, Mystery settled for wagging his tail in agreement, letting it lightly beat against the back of her head as he rested his chin on his paws. A laugh bubbled out of her, and he smiled.

It would heal.

They all would.

[kiss4kazu]

Hi! could I request some headcanons for what kissing Ashe and Dimitri (Felix too if thats not too much if not its fine) would be like for the first time?

☆ first time kisses with ashe, dimitri, felix 

↳ ashe babie boy 

although ashe is really innocent and pure i think he’s easily one of the most romantic in blue lions and would really go above and beyond always for the person he loves. 

i know a lot of people probably see ashe as someone being too reluctant and nervous to actually ever make a move first but i think if he really liked someone, he’d be extremely obvious about it, blushing like crazy, a stuttering mess, etc and after enough pep talks from sylvain he’d finally make a move to ask u out on a date and it would be an absolute wreck.

would literally put together something so fckin cheesy n corny but in the most adorably ashe way that it makes you want to punch him from being so precious

like a cute picnic or something by a lake and he’d make cute little cakes with some help from annette and it would just be so pure. 

he’d rehearse how he’s going to confess in his head like a million times but when the moment actually comes it ends up just being a jumbled up mess filled with “ums” and he’d try to stick to the script him and sylvain came up with and get out a “y-you’re r-really… u-uh… p-pretty..” but then he’d fuck it all up by saying something weird n dorky like “a-and you s-smell really nice… w-wait that’s weird i’m sorry-” and you’d just hold back ur laughter, ur heart swelling with so so much affection for him. 

ofc he’d ask for permission to kiss you, cheeks crimson and his eyes looking up at yours like tht one starry eyed emoji. you’d give him a vocal response, since he rly needs that reassurance. no stutters just “of course ashe” and he’d smile so so big and then just swoop down totally uncoordinated. 

would probs miss your lips and have to readjust. 

kissing ashe for the first time would be … messy. he’s not experienced at all, and doesn’t know what to do with his hands and he’d honestly be a dead fish for a good few moments. but as you ease him more into the kiss, he’d loosen up a bit, tilt his head and just stop overthinking. his lips would be really warm and would taste so sweet from the cake and he’d smile so hard into the kiss that your teeth end up bumping into each other and you’d pull away laughing

ashe kisses are the best honestly the butterflies fireworks the whole shebang yknow. 

as he gets more confident he’d probably try out a few things he’s seen in books like slipping his tongue in and would be completely taken aback by just how nice it feels. would probably whine into the kiss, cradle your face in his hands, and once you guys pull apart for some air he’d just breathe heavily against your lips with the dopiest smile on his face :( <3 

he’d be rly slap happy after kissing you for the first time and would probably tackle u onto the picnic blanket laughing from happiness kissing your face everywhere and showering you in compliments, shoving his face into ur neck and just breathing in ur scent. 

he’s very clingy ok. 

↳ dimi !!

whew. ok so we’re gonna do academy phase dimi since feral dimi is uh… probs not sfw & violent skjdfjslkjfd  

academy phase dimi knows NOTHING about kissing n he has 0 experience so it takes him forever n a day to finally get the balls to kiss u and when he does … whew. 

i can imagine kissing dimi to be during like , a deep convo or something late at night, when he’s having trouble sleeping or something and ur just running ur fingers through his hair, listening to him as he vents and admiring the sound of his voice bc he’s always more talkative at the dead of night when he’s sleep deprived. 

he’d just look at u so so lovingly and it would be suffocating and ur just staring at his lips but u know ur probs way in over ur head bc uh he’s the future king of faerghus 

but then he’d ask for permission too like ashe tbh bc he’s just polite like tht and has too good mannerisms 

plus he cares a lot about your comfort and would never want to make u feel unsafe or uncomfy especially by his doing

and you would nod with quickness n he’d waste not a second to connect ur lips 

kissing dimi is like a trance tbh, type of kiss that feels like something in u is short-circuiting 

literally the type of kiss that makes ur knees buckle u know the ones. 

he’s a rly rly good kisser n it makes no sense bc he’s literally never kissed anyone before in his life n it kind of makes u mad bc why is he perfect 

a rly rly passionate kisser and he can be kind of rougher than he intends to bc he’s not good with fragile things 

clearly v dominant in the kiss, one hand with an iron grip on ur hip the other tangled up behind ur neck, gripping ur hair. after a while gets reluctant and starts to overthink things and pulls away apologizing for being too rough

you’d probs have to reassure him a million times tht its okay dimi ur not hurting me!! 

he’s rly touch starved tbh so he always tends to take pecks into full-blown makeout sessions or when he intends to just kiss ur forehead he ends up kissing ur cheeks too, ur jaw, down ur neck just riling himself up tbh and then he finally  looks up at u with his eyes all dark n ur just like … here we go

did i mention he groans a lot during kisses bc he does 

dimi’s other sides shining through when his emotions overwhelm him is just .. dimitri 101. 

he’s rough, seemingly an expert at this shit, his tongue shoving past your lips and completely taking u off guard. he’d literally kiss you so hard your head would spin and he’d do it all with a blush on his face bc he’s still a shy babie.  as soon as the moment is over he’s back to stuttering n being all awkward boyish prince. 

he’s also the type to shower u in compliments between kisses.

kisses lips “you’re so gorgeous” smooches neck “so amazing” kisses jaw “goddess i love you” 

im scream crying

↳ felix too bc WHY NOT ! i love him 

listen. 

this little fucker kisses the life out of people u heard it here first folks. 

he’s 100% a heat of the moment type of kisser. it could go two ways tbh. like if you got hurt or something on his behalf he’d scream at you with glossy eyes for a good 5 minutes and then just stare at you all >:( and then he’d just grab you and  kiss the fuck out of you.

probably the most passionate kisser out of the three, he kisses to the point where u can’t feel ur toes and stuff he’d just completely indulge without any fucks given bc he almost lost you and he’s not good with explaining his emotions so hopefully this helps you understand. 

the other way i can see a first kiss going down with felix is more.. vulnerable, despite his hard exterior. he is rough and mean but it’s not bc he’s genuinely a bad person he just has walls built up so high tht its impossible for anyone to rly climb over 

to get a kiss from lix, u definitely have to have climbed over tht wall of his, or just fly a wrecking ball through it n send it crumbling to the ground

you’re literally the only exception, the only person who can rly get through to him 

he’d probably turn to you for comfort a lot, when dimitri agitates him with memories of glenn or his dad says something that ticks him off and he wants to punch something he’d just go to you instead, knock on ur door and just waltz in like he owns the place, sitting down on ur bed and u would know he wants cuddles bc this is how felix communicates 

if he had to actually say “i want cuddles” out loud he’d probably shoot himself in the foot with an arrow so he’s glad u understand, u always understand him just by looking at him n it’s reassuring bc he’s never been good with words.

its kind of cringe to him that he likes being held but shocker he likes being held 

he also rly rly likes it when u play with his hair he’s like a cat he will literally start nuzzling into you, so warm and pliant to your touch

ok im getting distracted back to the kissing shit

felix would probably just be rly overwhelmed with emotions n he doesn’t rly know how to tell u “i like u” so he just says “im going to kiss you.” like a literal statement n then he does it n ur just like o-o bc wtf. 

if ur not responsive at first he’d just pull away after a while and wouldn’t meet eyes with u and be all blushy. 

would let out a tch like the little shit that he is, and u have to turn his face so he’s properly looking at u again and meeting eyes with u 

he looks so vulnerable and stupidly gorgeous so u kiss him this time so he knows the feeling is mutual and it’d take him a min to really gather whats happening but once he does he’d literally. suck. the. life. out. of. your. face. period. 

felix kisses r rough n messy n just completely self-indulgent and he groans shamelessly when u pull his hair tie out from his bun and tug at his hair yes i have a thing for felix’s hair leave me alone.

gives 0 fucks would literally shove his tongue down your throat pull you flush against him and he always calls sylvain insatiable but rly its this fucker who’s insatiable he is literally eating your face. 

you’d have to pull him away from you and he’d just pant so hard against your lips and look at you like he wants to devour you and its kind of overwhelming bc he’s fucking hot !!!!! 

would shove his face into ur neck and mumble out an “i like you”  and u would tease him n be like “what did you say i cant hear u?” and he’d elbow u in the ribs  and groan into ur neck and u would laugh n kiss his head, telling him u like him too

at tht he’d lift his head up, his hair falling over his amber eyes and u would just push the strands away from his face and kiss him softly one last time before going back 2 ur conversation about punching sylvain’s face or sumn

anyway i love felix thanks 4 coming to my ted talk. 

requests are open! <3

- vivi ★

[clockworkgraystairs]

There is no such thing as vampires #1 || Jurdan AU

Jurdan Smut Week 2020   •   DAY 2

The prompt was technically dagger play...it didn’t really worked that way but HEY more smut! (vampire smut cough)

@jurdannet​   @jurdannetrevels​

Rating: E (no I don’t mean ‘everyone’)

Warnings: Explicit content, mentions of blood, some biting (it’s a vampire au c’mon), swear words (just in case)

Summary: 

Behind me stands a tall, slender man dressed in black trousers and one of those puffy white shirts men always use in period TV dramas. Raven curls frame the sharp angles of his face and his pale skin resembles marble. I stare at him unsure if my eyes widen because of the scare or how good looking he is. Maybe both.

His lips curve as if he finds my reaction somehow satisfying.

Extra comments: Just because I’m extra af, I’ll leave you the ambience music videos I listened while writing this. In case you’d like to hear them while reading:

Rain in a forest at night - Haunted Mansion/rain/thunder/wind - Narnia Lullaby

Written for: @slightlyrebelliouswriter23​ MA’AM AS ALWAYS THANK YOU FOR ALL THE HELP AND SUPPORT, FOR BETAING THIS UNENDING PIECE AND FOR HELPING ME CRAFTING THE IDEA FOR IT! ❤️

Part 1 ||  Part 2

Masterlist   •   AO3

“Please tell me again why are we doing this?” I ask for the third time, leaning to rest my head on my sister’s shoulder. We bounce as the uncomfortable van we travel in turns to a cobbled path, leading us deeper into the woods. 

“Because,” Vivi hisses back. “Your little brother is currently in his Twilight-obsession phase, and he just broke up with his girlfriend so we’re trying to cheer him up!”

“He’s 9! And they lasted like, what? Four hours?”

In that moment, Oak turns violently from the front seat, scowling at me. “First of all Jude, we were together two full days ok? She was the love of my life and suddenly she’s not sure about us anymore? Now I shall never find love again! I might have to become a priest. I expect a little consideration.”

Vivi ruffles his hair affectionately. “We absolutely understand, your sister here doesn’t have an ounce of romance in her veins but of course she supports the cause.”

That said, he returns to his place. I bite my lip hard, trying not to laugh. Typical Oak. I love my brother I really do, even if half of the time I can’t understand his dramatic outbursts.

Sighing, I stare through the window, to the heavy clouds gathering on top of us. Great. We are probably far away from the highway by now, nothing more than trees, rocks and occasional wild animals around. For some reason, our father had thought that there was no better way of fixing a kid’s broken heart than going on a quest in search of legends and hidden castles. 

The thing is that apparently, it works. Instead of an incessant whining about love being doomed, my brother spends the days throwing the most random facts about werewolves, vampires, ghosts and any impossible creature. To be honest, I don’t think wikipedia and the Twilight books are a reliable source, but if it makes Oak happy I could live a couple of days with it. And most importantly if I have to choose between this or spending the week back at home with my mother and twin sister going to tea parties for old ladies, well, the answer is very clear.

I remember reading a few books about myths when I was younger. When I turned fifteen, I developed a hard crush on Brad Pitt after I saw Interview with the Vampire, filling half of the walls in my room with posters of him. Even now ten years later, I actually enjoy talking about old folklore and legends, urban myths and stuff like that. 

What bugs me, are the fraudulent morons who want to take advantage of Oak’s naive curiosity to engage us in the most ridiculous tours that were obviously a waste of money. So far, we’d entered three “museums” where most of the so-called relics were made of plastic, and a haunted house with special effects so poorly done, father had discreetly asked for his money back. Only another two of the places we visited were actually interesting, but since the guides spent most of the time flirting with Vivi or me, it had annoyed our father. 

Now though, we are driving behind the car of an old couple who swore their ancestors owned a castle where true vampires had lived once. The sole mention of the word “castle” was enough to make Oak hang from our father’s sleeve begging to go.

I’m not going to lie, it is an intriguing idea. But I remain a little worried about how much money Madoc is ready to pay before he hurries his little son back to his fantasy books and videogames.

“Dad, did you know that vampires like to live in the woods because it allows them to make racing competitions without being interrupted?” Oak asks with enthusiasm.

Madoc gasps. “Do they? Is it because they’re so fast?” 

Okay, he might be willing to pay more than I thought. Next to me, Vivi muffles a laugh and keeps taking pictures for her instagram, occasionally asking for my help.

Upon arriving at the castle I have to suppress a curse. This, now, is a real castle. Nothing like the pitiful buildings we’d visited before. It is huge, made of pure stone and a modest wooden bridge that connects the entrance with the spot where the cars park. A slight fog covers the sides of the castle giving it a creepier look. 

A shiver goes down my back. I turn to find my family who are all equally gaping at the place in front of them. Oak is visibly shaking with excitement. Vivi shoots me an astonished look before taking my brother’s hand and following the couple across the bridge.  

The first thought that pops into my mind is that this place must have been taken out from a movie. Or set up for one. Maybe this is one of those pranks for TV. There is no other explanation for the massive room we find behind the giant front gate. Every inch of the walls is covered by paintings, several images barely recognizable through the dust. Aged furniture rests under dust and spiderwebs, pointing out they haven’t been used in quite some time. The illumination doesn’t help either. Electric lights hang from a few spots on the walls, though not enough for the big space, which I suspect is the reason that long candles are lit up too. 

My next thought is that I should’ve brought my sweater. The damn place is freezing. 

“Phew, sorry about the dust!” The old man says, flashing an embarrassed smile to us. “We were not planning to have any visitors yet.”

“You said this is going to be a museum?” Madoc asks, carefully surveying the walls. Next to him, Vivi tightens her hold on my brother’s hand to prevent him from starting to run around. I swear his eyes are about to pop out of their sockets. 

“It will indeed! This place has been in our family for generations, but since it’s hard to adapt it to modern technology it was abandoned.” He turns to Oak and winks. “Not to mention the creepy things that happen here all the time.”

His gaze widens. “What kind of things?”

“Well, some distant relatives used to try spending their vacations here. But after a couple of days they left in a big rush, claiming some strange force had commanded them to go away.” With a lower voice, he adds. “They also mentioned noises coming out from empty rooms and dark hallways. Steps. Shadows that followed them along the place.” 

For a second everyone remains silent. The only noise I can hear is the wind outside and the start of a slight rain. Somehow my hands are even colder.

“The legend says,” The woman, whose name is Marrow if I remember it correctly, continues while taking one chandelier with her hand. “This was the hideout of ancient vampires, how many, we don’t know. But they didn’t appreciate people trying to live within their domains.”

“So why come here at all?” Vivi asks. “Isn’t it dangerous?”

“It might be.” She shrugs. “But that’s half of the fun, isn’t it?”

“We like to think we’ve found a safe way to open this castle to the public without taking any risks. We will use a part of it as a museum, to show some of the family relics. But be aware, no one is allowed to go further than the marked area.” He signals at the yellow tape stuck on the floor forming arrows.

“If you please...” Marrow says, motioning at the stairs where the markings start.

They get me for a moment, not gonna lie. The surroundings and the way they speak are creepy enough to make me doubt my beliefs for a second. I shake my head to clear those thoughts away and walk behind my family. There’s no such thing as vampires or haunted castles.

We go through passages. Madoc has to remind Oak to not touch anything, constantly. From what I see, he’s living his best day. Several counters line up side by side against the wall. Some of them contain jewelry, others weapons, old writing pens among other things. Most of them carry a family shield, although it’s too blurry to properly identify what it says.

The rain thickens outside and Marrow keeps talking. She tells the story of her so called ancestors, whose family were big enough to fill all the rooms in the castle. Elwen, Eldred… something like that, and his many wives had once lived here. Along with his abounding children. I see in Oak’s face the intention to ask about how that family arrangement worked but Vivi gives him a slight pull of his hair. 

I would have thought our guides would try to keep a proud name for their so-called ancestors. But they don’t. In fact, she seems particularly interested in explaining how Eldred’s cruel and terrible nature brought him nothing but disgrace. His once prosperous castle and assets were gone little by little. He claimed he was under the effects of a curse, but no one dared believing him. At least not until people started disappearing.

I stop listening at some point, focusing my attention on the relics in front of me. I’ve always felt a significant attraction to weapons, but not the ordinary ones like guns or rifles. These ones though, such beautiful daggers and swords. I’d give a kidney just to hold one of them. 

On the next shelf books pile one next to the other, the dust around them a clear sign of how long they’ve been unbothered. All except for one. The navy blue cover has almost no dust at all, yet it looks like it would fall apart with a gentle blow of wind. The title is partially gone, probably through time. 

I turn my head to my family but they’re gone, probably to another corridor since I can still hear the muffled voice of Marrow and my brother. Would she care at all if I check out that book?

I bite my lip. As long as it doesn’t break it’s probably alright. Standing on the tip of my toes I reach for it.

“That is an excellent book.” 

I shriek and whip around, my hand flies to my mouth trying to cover the embarrassing sound. The book falls open next to my feet.

Behind me stands a tall, slender man dressed in black trousers and one of those puffy white shirts men always use in period TV dramas. Raven curls frame the sharp angles of his face and his pale skin resembles marble. I stare at him unsure if my eyes widen because of the scare or how good looking he is. Maybe both. 

His lips curve as if he finds my reaction somehow satisfying. “My personal favorite. Too bad the author was a poisonous bunch-backed toad.”

My mouth opens to apologize, but I only manage to let out a strangled. “Shit”

The stranger lifts an eyebrow and chuckles. 

“Sorry, I- that wasn’t what I meant to say.” I stutter. I feel as if my heart has jumped to my throat. “I wasn’t trying to steal the book.”

“I did not say you were.” He answers, his voice is like velvet.

I nod and take a deep breath. “I came in with my family. Marrow is showing us the place.”

His dark eyes wander down my body, but not like one of those rude men on the streets. No. Something in his gaze feels feral, like an animal sizing up his prey. A strange urge to run pools in my stomach, yet at the same time my muscles seem to have forgotten how to do so. 

He looks me in the eyes again and it’s all gone. I let go of the tension in my back and a breath I didn’t know I was holding. When he smiles again, I feel as if I could trust him. Why shouldn’t I?

“And are you enjoying the tour?” He bends to pick up the book I’d dropped before and puts it back on the shelf. His movements are fluid and carefree. I doubt I’ve ever seen such elegance in a simple action. It is unsettling as much as it is attractive. Then I realize I’m supposed to answer.

“Yes, this is amazing actually.” I look around and take in the aged stone of the walls and ceiling. In that corridor there’s only one electric lamp, the rest is only lightened by candles. I can see our shadows dancing along to the flames. “All of this really helps getting in the ‘mood’.”

“The mood?” 

I look at him and notice his tilted head. “Yeah you know, the mood of enchanted castles and old legends. This is well put enough that a credulous person would believe any story. Marrow is pretty good at it too.” Motioning a hand to him I add. “They even have their own actor.”

A thunder roars outside. “I beg your pardon?”

I roll my eyes and flash him a smile. “You don’t really have to keep the charade with me. I’m not some schoolgirl.”

“Yet I managed to pull a scream out of you, didn’t I?” The way he says it feels as if he was talking about an entirely different subject. Heat creeps up my cheeks.

“That was… not the same.” I mumble. “I didn’t hear you approaching. That could scare the living hell out of anybody.”

“I have been told I am quite sneaky, I concede you that.” He nods. “Why don’t I give you the rest of the tour? As an apology, of course.”

He’s doing his job, I remind myself, he’s not flirting with you. 

“You haven’t even told me your name.” I say. “If we’re roaming around a castle together I should at least know who’s guiding me.”

That sounded an awful lot like flirting. Dammit. 

“Cardan, at your service madam.” The tone he uses feels like a caress, he bows his head in a way I’ve only seen in movies. He takes his role seriously. I almost chuckle, but the sound dies in my throat. 

“Cardan.” I repeat, just for the pleasure of doing it. “My name is Jude.”

He straightens. “Delighted to meet your acquaintance.” He answers and offers me his arm. “Shall we, Jude?”  

I can’t believe how far away my family has gone. Cardan and I walk through a couple of corridors and still there is no trace of them. Did we take that long talking?

He’s an excellent guide, I have to acknowledge that. 

While Marrow uses a tone of suspense and mystery, Cardan has this melancholy in his voice that sounds as if he’s talking about a memory. It’s bewitching. He also drops the most ridiculous “facts” about the people on the paintings. I refrain myself from asking if inventing things is allowed for employees, because saying that the girl with the pearl necklace enjoyed to play on the beach while saying she was the Princess of the Sea, certainly sounds like it. 

“If you bite your lip one more time, I am going to do it for you.” 

My heart skips a bit and I let go of my lower lip. I hadn’t realized I was tugging it. It’s an unconscious habit. I turn to him and I find his gaze different, hungry. It sends a shiver down to a place I know it shouldn’t. He arches an eyebrow as though he notices it.

“Is that a thing vampires like to do?” I say, trying to lighten the mood. The last thing I want him to know is that for the last twenty minutes I’ve been listening to him speak wishing he put a different use to that wicked mouth of his.

His gaze doesn’t change. “It is a thing I would like to do.” 

I am pretty sure my expression is giving me up by now. Knowing my traitorous body, I’m probably flushed, my mouth open in awe. Desire coils inside me.

At my lack of answer, he continues. “Why don’t I show you something vampires really like to do?” 

He walks back without letting go of my hand. I notice he steps out from the marked section and into a forbidden corridor. 

The sensation returns, the one that is telling me to run. The problem is that I don’t know whether to run away, or straight to it. My mind wants both and my body, only one.

“You’re going to the restricted area.” I’m partially surprised by how breathless my voice sounds. “You can’t go in there…”

Cardan pauses and a confused expression crosses his face. A second later, it returns to his charming and teasing smile. “Are you afraid?”

I am. 

Yet, I don’t care. I walk into the shadows with him.

As we cross the passage darkened by the lack of chandeliers I tell myself this is a terrible, terrible idea. The way he devours my mouth the moment a door slams shut behind us, convinces me it is the best.

Cardan pushes me against the wall, the cold temperature of the stone goes through my clothes making me gasp. He takes the opportunity and kisses me harder, his tongue explores my mouth with such deliciousness I have to bite back a moan. 

My fingers are tangled in his hair pulling him closer to me, if such a thing is even possible. His hands are everything but still. They roam intensely from my breasts, down my sides and finally to my rear, where he grabs me, pressing me against his pelvis. I hear him groan and the sound makes something clench inside me. 

Before I can double-think about it, one of my hands lowers to rub his hardness, still hidden behind his trousers. His breath hitches. He pulls back a bit and whispers to my ear. “Needy little human.”

I frown a moment, something about his words not clicking inside my brain but whatever it is I forget it the moment he slides his cold hands under my jersey. I yelp at the sensation, not sure if what flutters down my back is a result of the temperature or the eagerness which he’s holding me with. When he reaches my bra I hesitate for a moment. Cardan pauses too and leans back to stare into my eyes. 

“Do you want to stop?” His voice is throaty and charged with desire. Still, he doesn’t make a move, waiting for my answer.

An instinctive part of me knows this is something I shouldn’t be doing. But that’s definitely not any close to me wanting to stop. Without removing my eyes from his I take the hem of my jersey to pull it over my head. The piece of fabric hits the floor, but neither of us pays attention to it. Once again Cardan’s gaze roams me in that predatory way. 

I don’t stagger this time.

When my bra falls to the floor too, I take his hand and guide it to my jean’s button. “Do I look like I want to stop?”

Without hesitation he yanks the button open and slides his hand inside to cup the apex of my thighs. The contrast of my warm skin against his coldness makes my hips buck. Cardan buries his other hand in my hair and tilts my head back. I can feel his lips nipping down my jaw and my neck. A moan escapes my lips as he swipes a finger along my heat. He hums in response, the vibrations of it against my neck makes my eyes roll back.

He continues his ministrations until he feels me wet enough to slide a finger inside, he curls and pulls out. Then back inside. My breath comes out in elaborated pants as he quickens his pace. My hands almost finish unbuttoning his shirt when he slides another finger through my folds, his movements turn fast and punishing. Wet sounds taint the silence around us. As pleasure takes full control of my body I cling to him like a life saver, trying to muffle my moans.

“Let go Jude, let go for me.” He breathes next to my ear. My back arches and I sob a curse, writhing down on his hand. 

He slows down as I come back from my orgasm, but never stops. Despite the freezing surroundings a drop of sweat runs down my chest. My heart beats as if I just ran a marathon. Cardan’s lazy moves continue, frequently grazing that spot that makes me mewl.

I hear him sigh. “You smell so good.” He claims my mouth one more time and bites me hard enough to make me wince. His tongue caresses my lower lip and a warm throb expands through my veins. He freezes and pulls back, releasing me. I stare at him in confusion, or at least as much as I can manage giving my current state.

He pants a couple of times before looking up at me. There’s a fiercess in his eyes that would’ve been scary under normal situations, right now, it only makes me want him more. He swallows before finally speaking. “If we go further, I won’t be able to stop.” His voice is like sandpaper.

My body seems to work on its own account, as I move to cup his face between my hands. “I already told you.”

“Jude…” He warns me, but I interrupt him joining my lips to his.

“I want this.” I breathe into his mouth. Cardan lets out a defeated groan before pulling my body back against his. Either he’s been holding back or it is until that moment that I realize how strong he actually is. He kisses me like a starved man and I can feel my pulse rise once again.

Soon his shirt joins my other clothing. My fingers trace his chest and torso, marveled at the softness of his skin. I mimic him moments before and kiss his neck. A low sound that almost resembles a growl comes out from his throat. My hands travel lower.

Somehow I manage to free his raging erection from his trousers, closing my hand around him. He hisses and then tilts his hips up to my touch. I start pumping him with unsure movements before gaining confidence to do it harder, tighter. Now it’s his turn to curse. Even though it sounds like something taken out from a Shakespeare novel, it makes my core pulse. 

Cardan grips the hem of my jeans strong enough that for a moment I fear he’d rip them away. 

“Take these off.” He demands instead.

I’m not sure of how I manage to do it. My mind feels blurred with a mix of sensations. Disoriented, not sure about exactly how my body is doing all of that, and the bliss of knowing I’m enjoying every second of it.

Before the air hits my skin, Cardan lifts me from the ground. My legs circle his waist in a reflexive move. His lips quirk in approval. Then my back is once again pressed against the wall, making me arch in a failed attempt to avoid touching the cold stone. A sound leaves my mouth, though it is not clear if it’s a protest or a moan. I hear him chuckle in my ear and I turn my head, searching his lips.    

His kiss is slower but still deep. I feel as if small electric sparks are tickling every single one of my nerves. More, I need more. Cardan holds me in place with his hips, letting his hands wander up and down my legs.

The tip of his shaft is grazing my core over the thin fabric of my remaining piece of clothing, with an aching slowness that is not enough to ease my thirst. More.

I might have said that out loud because Cardan’s hips grind faster against me. It feels so good. And yet, it’s not enough.

I whine his name like a plea. 

He continues for a couple of torturing seconds before reaching between my thighs again. There’s no teasing now as he moves my panties aside and immediately sinks his fingers inside me, pumping in and out with a pace that has me gasping in no time. He murmurs something I can’t understand and lines himself up to my entrance.

With soft, deliberate movements he slides through my heat, letting me feel every inch of him until he’s completely filling me. Then he stills. My muscles twitch around him, trying to adjust to the invasion. The exquisiteness of it is making my head swoon. 

Cardan grabs my jaw and locks his gaze with mine. I can imagine what he’s looking at. Hooded eyes and flushed skin, though he doesn’t let me think a lot about it as he starts to move. Slow at first, with careful strokes that quickly evolve into long and deep. My mouth falls open at the sensation and my eyes shut.

“I warned you.” I hear him pant. “That there was no coming back.”

A whimper escapes my lips. I’m not even sure I’m actually trying to say something. He doesn’t seem to care either and leans to whisper to my ear. “You are mine now, Jude.”   

There is something in the way he says it, his words carrying some compelling implication I can’t fully catch. His lips trail down my neck and I want to answer. To tell him that I am, that after the way he’s taking me, how could it be otherwise? 

That’s when I feel a sharp stinging pain on the base of my throat. 

I cry out and try to shake it away but whatever it is won’t let me go. Cardan’s words echo at the back of my mind, Needy little human. 

As if sensing my thoughts he grabs my thighs and opens them wider, he thrusts into me harder and faster. Everything mixes in sensation. Pain leaves as fast as it came, leaving behind it that throb in my veins I can’t really explain. It is more intense now, what I felt as warm now is scorching. My entire body feels like it’s on fire, I’ve never felt so exhilarated before in my life. I don’t want it to stop. 

Cardan sucks on my neck again and I moan his name. Without realizing it, I’m on the brink of another orgasm. I only realize it because he groans when my legs start to shiver around him. I cling to his neck and his hair. If I’m pulling too hard I can’t really know. A familiar swirl comes up from my core to the rest of my body as I spasm around him. It takes me a moment to notice the broken moans and sobs I hear come from my own mouth. 

He keeps going a little longer until his fingers tighten over my skin, surely leaving bruises on both thighs. Muffled moans ring against my skin as he comes, thrusting in a couple of times more before stilling. A warm sensation covers the place where we join together.  His mouth lets go of my neck. I grunt and shiver. 

He puts me down carefully, still holding my waist, which is good considering I don’t know if I’m able to stand by myself. I feel dizzy. Cardan lowers his lips to mine one more time. He’s slow and gentle as though he’s worried. There is a slightly metallic taste in his tongue but I don’t pay attention to it. I trace the fine features of his face with trembling fingers. Little by little my senses start to take in the surroundings, the cold. 

The place rumbles with another crack of thunder.

“You have to go back.” Cardan says, barely pulling his lips apart. Go back. I frown, then images of my family crash in my mind. I look around searching for the door, there is something  on the floor. I realize soon those are my clothes. Shit. The tour, Oak. How much time have I been gone?

I dress in a hurry, not really caring if I put on my jersey correctly. He does the same but with the calm an elegance he has.

Panic must be written in my face because he grabs my chin and turns me to him. “Hey. Calm down.” He soothes me. Then his tone changes, turns commanding. His eyes are darker too. “Listen to me. You are going to do exactly as I say, do you understand Jude?”

I want to ask why, but for some reason I only nod. Cardan grabs my hand and pulls me out of whatever room we were in. “You must follow this passage until you find a way to turn left. Then continue until you see a painting of a black snake then turn right, you cannot miss it or you will get lost. Walk straight, and you will be back to a safe area.”

“But-” I start. I don’t want to go alone. And I don’t understand why but I don’t want to separate from him either. Which is nonsense, I barely know him and still...

He interrupts me. “I cannot go with you, I have lost so much control already and I don’t think…” 

“Cardan, I can’t-” 

A growl echoes in his chest and he pulls me closer to him. While his voice is still hypnotizing it sounds threatening now. “You will not tell anybody about what you saw here. Now go if you intend to leave this place alive.”

Then he's gone. I can’t recall if I blinked or turned, because a moment before I could still touch him and now he vanished.

I take a deep breath and start walking. Focus. Go straight, then turn right. Or was it left? 

All passages look the same, some spaces don’t even have a painting or anything at all to help me differentiate them. Sometimes I whip around, thinking I heard a familiar chuckle behind me. Distant rain is the only sound that is a constant companion, but even with it I’m able to hear an echo of every step I give. It unsettles me more with every minute that passes. Although I feel more in control of my body than before, my knees falter constantly and a sensation of tiredness slides over my mind. 

I find the snake painting just as I’d started to think I would be trapped here forever. 

It’s huge, and despite the years that have probably passed the scales still seem to shine. The head is painted in an angle that gives the illusion of the eyes following the person looking at it. It doesn’t help that the candle’s flames also make the snake look as if it’s moving. Stalking. Before noticing, I start hyperventilating. I shut my eyes close and turn away. Something is terribly wrong with me, I need to get out. 

Turning right, I start running. I cover my ears fearing that if I don’t, I’ll start hearing the snake’s hiss behind me.  

I cross an arch made with the same stone and stop right in my tracks upon realizing somehow I’m back at the room where we first arrived. I blink to adjust my eyes to the change of light, since here’s where all the electric lamps are. The room is empty though. 

I’m not sure of what I am supposed to do now. Sit and wait? Go out to the car?

While I’m weighing my options, trying to choose any that doesn’t imply dropping myself on the floor to have a panic attack, I hear murmurs and steps getting closer.

“Jude!” My little brother yells and runs to me. Behind him, Vivi scans me like she’s trying to find something wrong. I straighten my back and put on my best calmed face.

“Where were you?” She demands. “We lost you hours ago! Are you ok? You look pale.” 

Always such a mother hen, I sigh. “I’m fine. I fell behind and lost y’all. Then... I guessed it would be better to just… return here.”

I try not to frown at my last words, since I didn’t fully intend to say them. You will not tell anybody about what you saw here. 

“Jude knows how to take care of herself.” My father adds. I could hug him, but we’re not exactly the affectionate type. So I just flash him a smile.

Vivi does not look convinced but still stands down. “I guess so. The weather did a mess with your hair though.” A flash of Cardan’s fingers pulling from it to gain access to my neck sends a shiver through my body. Had that really happened just minutes before?

Before I can answer, Marrow calls for us. We turn to find her standing next to a big set of paintings that apparently were covered with a curtain. “You cannot leave without meeting the royal family.”

The canvases are ordered to mimic a family tree. A man with a severe expression rests at the very top. Eldred, I assume. Just by looking at it I feel judged. I can’t imagine what was like to actually live with him. The pictures of his wives look all so different but under them, their sons do have resemblance to one another. A weird sensation tickles my fingers as my gaze continues travelling over the paintings. Finally, I get to the last one. Once more, I cover my mouth to avoid  an undesired sound.

Staring back at me I see Cardan. 

I don’t care if it’s a painting, there is no way I could not recognize those features. Those lips.

“A big family, I see.” Madoc’s words seem so far away.

Marrow hums in agreement. “The Greenbriars always felt proud of their vast offspring. Such attractive sons and daughters. It’s a shame the curse took most of their lives all those centuries ago.” 

“Did he…” I start, without knowing how to continue.

She approaches me to look at the canvas. “Ah, young master Cardan. He was the last one of Eldred’s children.” Then a frown appears on her face. “There was a lot of controversy regarding his death. Some say he died because of the curse, some others say he was the curse. The books all have different versions.”

“That sounds creepy as fuck.” Vivi says. 

“Creepy as fuck.” My brother mimics her, the thoughtful expression on his face makes him look ridiculous. We cackle as Vivi shouts Oak he’s not supposed to say bad words.

By the time we get out of the castle the rain has decreased to a drizzle. 

Madoc carries Oak on his shoulders, listening to his non-stop squeals of excitement after visiting what he calls ‘a real vampire hideout’. This time, I don’t find the words to contradict him. Vivi is the first one to get to the car, shouting back some nonsense about the Greenbriars needing a protection hex. 

The moment I step down from the bridge something shifts in my head and I feel as if I had just woken up. 

Perhaps it is me who needs a protection spell after all. 

Before closing the car’s door, I turn to the castle one more time. Marrow and her husband wave at us from the front gate. 

A dull ache throbs on the base of my neck and my hand flies to the spot. I retrieve it and see blood staining my fingers. 

My heart misses a beat when I lift my gaze to the upper windows, where a tall figure with white shirt and dark hair is looking right back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: @slightlyrebelliouswriter23​ @sweetlyvillainous​ @poeticbrownmermaid​ @aesthetics-11​ @thesirenwashere​ @jurdanhell​ @nightbringer​ @b00kworm​ @mysweetvillain​ @thefolkofthefic​ @yafandomsdotnet​ @vanessa172003​ @booksandothersecrets​ 

If you wish to be tagged/untagged (or if I forgot to tag you like an utter idot) please let me know!

[arthurtristankingsmen]

More and longer theory chatter with @flash-the-geist with guest stars who popped in. This one is longer since it’s theorizing but turned into something Flash affectionately named the ‘Esprestissimo AU’ which I am keeping because I love it so much.

Most of this mainly features Duet thoughts and then shenanigans ! The most I did was add a missing thing in my own comments for clarification or that my brain skipped over when typing it before, or where I adjust the order of the messages for cohesiveness

please enjoy jdjd

flaaaash — Today at 4:35 AM

hmmm what if the note-taker is Duet, taking notes about "Solo"? that implies they're two different people

Arthur — Today at 4:36 AM

that's what i was thinking-- that the ‘He’ in the note is reverb, and this note is in reference to reverb, but also a comment on Solo, and the Duet 'wrote' this character profile as like-- a case file if they're in charge of the organization

so duet is like 'solo' claims she still needs to study him for research in a note on the file he's taking on reverb or something like that

flaaaash — Today at 4:37 AM

this might be my deep, unfortunate familiarity with bureaucracy talking, but- if the person in charge is also the one taking notes, it's a very small organization

Arthur — Today at 4:37 AM

oh yeah

i imagined it was tiny personally

tempo seems on the smaller side so if it's all based there, i was imagining it was relatively small

flaaaash — Today at 4:38 AM

not international then, perhaps

adkjfakjf oooh now I want to make a little card for Flash

Arthur — Today at 4:39 AM

yeah no-- at least since the name tempo of the town following the motif like seemingly implies it's based in/related to the town since if follows the reference style

or that's my thinking anyways?

flaaaash — Today at 4:39 AM

very true

imagine if Tempo is just Like That and the rest of the world is totally normal

Arthur — Today at 4:40 AM

i personally think vivi didn't grow up in tempo now more tho-- because i think if she did and there is an organization, they woulda gotten wind of her and she probably would've been recruited since she's smart and clearly into that kind of thing

and if she was in the org and knew what she was doing, i don't know if she would've gone to the cave if she was at all in the Know 

flaaaash — Today at 4:40 AM

or they would have tried to study Mystery?

Arthur — Today at 4:41 AM

that too!!

even if they brought her in just because of mystery i imagine they would've brought her in

flaaaash — Today at 4:41 AM

maybe that's what the "her research into "REDACTED" is referring to. Research into mystery?

it all does seem to come back to him

Arthur — Today at 4:42 AM

or maybe she's relatively new to tempo still, and duet gave her a job because they intended to bring her in at some point but hadn't yet

like there were steps to take and like-- the cave happened before things could get fully underway

i mean at my job i applied in like-- march, and i didn't get an interview until may, and then i didn't get any training until november, and then i didn't get brought in to learn the job until december. so it'd be easy to imagine that if there was a reason, bringing her in could be a slow process 

flaaaash — Today at 4:43 AM

that might also explain why there were all these "go back" signs in the cave

clearly someone with English language skills put the signage there

Arthur — Today at 4:43 AM

that too! it definitely felt like it was to warn off people and keep them from tresspassing

but the gang were kids and also ghost don't haunt the places that aren't super scary and dangerous! so of course they gotta go in!

flaaaash — Today at 4:45 AM

maybe they weren't expecting someone like Vivi at all

she was a wild card that popped up and threw a spanner in the works accidentally

Arthur — Today at 4:45 AM

yeah!

i can imagine her just coming in and completely bamboozling everyone

duet is like 'okay we'll get her in on this but we'll take some time to sort everything and judge where she's at skill wise since we have time and it's not like she can get into any danger with all our protective me--oh no'

flaaaash — Today at 4:48 AM

that calls Duet's motivation into question a lil bc - there's at least a significant amount of time between Lewis dying and them finding him again

since their search is reasonably extensive and Arthur's had time to heal up. So why didn't Duet do anything during this time?

Arthur — Today at 4:50 AM

hmmmm--- well we know it's been less than a year since the cave happened at least, and i think the way Ben talked about it  sounded like it was a relatively short time table of only a few months, so maybe they wanted to give them recovery time or they weren't sure how to broach it-- i'm not sure. maybe the comic will give some kind of insight hopefully if the case is that vivi came in like that

i feel like it'd be interesting and make more sense given what she has available magic wise and mystery-wise if she wasn't in town until much later in life to explain why she wouldn’t already be working with the organization. but i'm still like hmm

because you do have a point that there would be a fair bit of inaction, unless for some reason vivi's memory issues or something was a problem or something happens in the prequel to explain or hint

tho now that brings into question if duet knows Lewis is dead, how are things not being managed better

i mean i've had arthur say in the past and i've said once or twice that like-- i think arthur was already working with prosthetics. so he could've had an arm mostly built and just had to make a more functioning one so that could've been fast. so hopefully maybe the prequel comic is set a bit before and might explain duet helping or something in a way that could make sense of it?

especially given he did make galaham's wheels already and such. he might've already built one but needed to make a new one set up for him

flaaaash — Today at 4:54 AM

I'm fairly sure people would at least know he's missing

I guess it's possible that the 'memory magic' thing that makes Vivi forget - it could affect everyone except Arthur and Mystery?

Arthur — Today at 4:56 AM

that's possible--

we have only seen mystery and arthur in the world seeming to know what's going on, so we don't know who knows what. just that vivi doesn't know lewis

but maybe nobody else does either to some degree

flaaaash — Today at 4:56 AM

Arthur being possessed at the time, and Mystery being a magical being himself. We don't have any evidence that anyone else remembers Lewis, although he seems to still be in pictures

Arthur — Today at 4:57 AM

people did seem confused arthur was freaking out in the store in the comic and like

idk. if i knew he lost his best friend i'd be more sympathetic/not look at him like he was crazy. I’d assume something set him off but probably feel bad for him if i knew what happened in the last year?

because i would imagine mental health is in the toilet after going on a trip and losing a friend even if he was only 'missing'

and the way arthur mentioned lewis and when vivi forgets he's just like 'nevermind'. if no one really remembers Lewis, then maybe giving up trying to explain is because he’s used to no one knowing who he means

flaaaash — Today at 4:58 AM

yea h

Arthur — Today at 4:58 AM

what if arthur only remembers lewis? (and mystery does)

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 4:58 AM

In fairness most people would be confused if they saw someone having a panic attack in public, no matter how much was known about the person

flaaaash — Today at 4:58 AM

also if Lewis looked like himself for a moment just before dropping Arthur - does that mean Lance saw him?

or did he only see skele-version and thus didn't recognize him as Lewis

Arthur — Today at 4:58 AM

hmmmmm--- i lean to skele vision. he turned back pretty quick iirc

flaaaash — Today at 4:59 AM

I'm torn between analysing between a storyteller perspective and an in-world perspective

Arthur — Today at 5:01 AM

por que no los dos?

also

hmmm-- i think given people were like 'what's up with that guy', it seemed either not knowing what was going on with him or what it could stem from, but if lewis disappeared in a small town i feel like a lot of the details would've spread. so they might assume it had to do with that instead-- so it feels like maybe most people don't know

which seems strange in a smaller community because stuff gets around

flaaaash — Today at 5:01 AM

especially since the Peppers own a restaurant

Arthur — Today at 5:01 AM

yeah-- in a small town place a restuarant is usually a social hub of sorts

so if lewis disppeared i'm sure people would talk given he was a waiter and thus kind of a face for the restaurant

flaaaash — Today at 5:02 AM

also if they think he's missing and not dead, his family would be looking for him too. which means missing persons pics and all that

Arthur — Today at 5:02 AM

yeah and we didn’t see any. and some people not knowing or visitors i could get, but everyone seemed surprised by arthur freaking out, and if they knew lewis was missing and lewis and arthur were friends, it feels odd to like-- none of them to even look sympathetic

i would imagine if they knew lewis was gone they'd assume arthur would be more emotionally reactive than usual-- unless they have no idea that something is going on with arthur because you know-- lewis is erased jdjd

i mean the reason we know vivi doesn't remember is because her eyes glowed as lewis got phased out of the photo

but who knows maybe him being phased out was in general and that just meant she was affected too. everyone gets amnesia

flaaaash — Today at 5:03 AM

also slightly cracky theory but - if they ended up accidentally in the research facility during Ghost, that would explain why Vivi found a fully-stocked fridge alkja;gl

Arthur — Today at 5:04 AM

DSJDDLJSDLFJDSJL

that would be hilarious

lewis is his own scp in his tantrum mansion

they just keep an eye on the lot

flaaaash — Today at 5:05 AM

well what else are they gonna do with him??? xD

Arthur — Today at 5:05 AM

dslsdjdsfljdsfd

''welp no one knows who this guy is soooooo manor in the middle of nowhere time'

flaaaash — Today at 5:06 AM

"so the waiter turned into a vengeful spirit?" "oh uhhhh ok put him in a box i guess until we figure something out?"

ok theory- Duet knows Lewis is dead, but is trying to figure out a way to help/break the memory magic on Vivi, and that's why he's in the mansion/cave for a while before Ghost?

Arthur — Today at 5:06 AM

i like it! i think them knowing and approaching arthur in the comic and using 'rancid vibes' as an excuse would make sense

flaaaash — Today at 5:07 AM

"so that Vivi person wandered in again somehow and now the vengeful waiter ghost is loose?" "for fuck's sake you had ONE JOB-"

Arthur — Today at 5:07 AM

they know what's actually going on but they kinda act like everyone else while also getting arthur something that might help him in that book that i think will be important in the plot of the prequel

DL;G;HDGSAL;HKGSDHL;DGS

flash you have the biggest brain

 flaaaash — Today at 5:08 AM

,kadjgalgkj

"also there was this killer tree-" "I do not care about the tree, one problem at a time"

Poor Duet is having A Week

but the mental image of them trying to avoid Arthur and Vivi investigating, while trying to find ??? and re-capture him while shoving Lewis in a box is hilarious, and then they run into Shiromori and just throw their hands in the air like "can u not????". And then Murder Mystery shows up and they just quit

Arthur — Today at 5:10 AM

dlaajldkljjdl;dldjlfkfd

duet is just like

on their tenth cup of coffee

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:10 AM

Arthur: Those are rookie numbers

Arthur — Today at 5:11 AM

they see murder mystery and go back inside the shop like 'can you add like 5 espresso shots to this'

flaaaash — Today at 5:11 AM

explains why they're like "Arthur pls your vibes. Do you KNOW what I've been dealing with"

Arthur — Today at 5:11 AM

asdl;;dfslhsdahg;as;dghkghsdllhsgd

flaaaash — Today at 5:11 AM

"five extra shots and a red bull chaser please-"

Arthur — Today at 5:12 AM

(also just still crosses my fingers for medium/spiritually-sensitive!arthur to be canon but if not it will live on in my fannon)

dsldjllssfdf

they just start shoving coffee grounds directly into their mouth

flaaaash — Today at 5:12 AM

this series has a lot of antagonists

akjdalgj just crunching beans down whole

Arthur — Today at 5:13 AM

i need-- to draw duet

looking tired with a coffee

flaaaash — Today at 5:14 AM

Duet with a giant cup of coffee, staring at Murder Mystery with a deadpan stare and going "Absolutely not, I forbid it, there is not enough coffee in the WORLD."

Arthur — Today at 5:14 AM

flash and will if i share this chatter on tumblr would you be okay with it ? or would u rather i block out names if i do

i feel like some of this is hilarious and people need to experience it

flaaaash — Today at 5:14 AM

akdflaf no go for it

I will out myself as a sham of a storyboarder

Arthur — Today at 5:15 AM

duet is that gif of the ghost busters lady going 'mmm nope not today, room full of nightmares'

and turning and walking away

duet is doing their best and needs a nap

tired as Arthur

flaaaash — Today at 5:15 AM

Duet walking around the corner to see the gang facing down Murder Mystery: swivels on one foot and goes right back the way they came

Arthur — Today at 5:15 AM

ldjldljd EXACTLY

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:16 AM

Heheheheh

Arthur — Today at 5:16 AM

like look at this person

look at their eyebags

they are Tired

they have deal with this bullshittery

they have sass to provide

but they also are Tired and done with this shit

flaaaash — Today at 5:16 AM

I want Duet and Arthur playing a game of caffeine chicken

Marshy — Today at 5:16 AM

Huge massive sigh as they see the whole bullshit situation go down and turns around to go back to the bookshop

flaaaash — Today at 5:16 AM

just lined up at the cafe bar, espresso shots in rows down the counter as they lock eyes-

who shall win- the CAFFEINE-OFF?

Arthur — Today at 5:17 AM

flash

pls if you right that i will pay you money

or maybe art

Marshy — Today at 5:17 AM

It's me I'll win

flaaaash — Today at 5:17 AM

SLFKJLKGS

Arthur — Today at 5:17 AM

dlasd;sdgkd;djslj;dags

i'm rooting for you take those nerds OUT

flaaaash — Today at 5:18 AM

"Duet gives him a look of Supreme Weariness and Nopery. Arthur counters with a double eye-roll of Resignation and Angst. In the true synchronicity of the Absolutely Done, they each take an espresso shot and slam it down."

Arthur — Today at 5:20 AM

djdasd;ds;lsda;ldj;lkdsl;jkdsj;lkasljkdjlkdg

they clink the little cups together first before taking their respective shots

flaaaash — Today at 5:21 AM

they do the thing where they turn it upside down to prove it's empty

by the fifth they're trying to outcompete each other with anecdotes

by the tenth they've moved onto toasting each other

Arthur — Today at 5:21 AM

Bonding!

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:22 AM

The anecdotes get concerningly similar to each others

flaaaash — Today at 5:22 AM

by the twelfth, Arthur begins weeping. Duet pats him in solidarity and knocks the next shot clean off the counter due to caffeine-induced twitching

Arthur — Today at 5:22 AM

DSGLAHGLDGHDGHAAHDSGDG

EXCELLENT

i

want them to be friends now

flaaaash — Today at 5:23 AM

by the thirteenth, the barista stages an intervention and starts giving them decaf

by this point, they don't notice 

Arthur — Today at 5:23 AM

asdlaadjsdsajd

thank you they owe you their life

they could taste the difference if they weren't vibrating into the 28the dimension atm

flaaaash — Today at 5:24 AM

after the fifteenth shot, the counter is clear and they're both full of sympathetic outrage for the other's plight. They sprint from the cafe, steamroll right over Shiromori, and punt the colours right out of Murder Mystery in a fit of industrial-strength caffeinated indignance.

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:24 AM

Hahahaha

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

h;lsadlf;dsldj;fsljl;dfsajdfsa

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

The newly Monochromatic Mystery has to then help Vivi contain the pair before they wipe all paranormal activity off the face of Tempo.

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

that's how the fifth video ends

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

Lewis narrowly escapes by hiding in a box. THE END

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

dsal;gsdhldgsa;dgsdgs;hldgs;lhdsa

beautiful thank u flash

i owe you my life

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

you're welcome it's my magnum opus

Arthur — Today at 5:26 AM

A+ story telling

i'm including it in the post

flaaaash — Today at 5:26 AM

ALKJGAGK

it's okay I don't have a reputation to ruin xD

Arthur — Today at 5:26 AM

dlasdl;dhsgldgdgs

this is a callout for flash being the funniest person alive--

or undead

flaaaash — Today at 5:27 AM

dead-

sfkjga

l

Arthur �� Today at 5:27 AM

djdjdjdj

i thought about it and corrected myself xDD

flaaaash — Today at 5:30 AM

ok I have no idea if anyone will get this pun, but I dub this the Esprestissimo AU

Arthur — Today at 5:36 AM

djalsd;ldsjdsjldf

i LOVE THAT

music puns but espressos EXTRA ESPRESSOLY

flaaaash — Today at 5:49 AM

xD

[hanadolphieron]

loona when jealous~

*based on astrology

a/n- i put this in order of most to least likely to become jealous/whose jealousy is the worst :)

son hyejoo;

hyejoo is such a scorpio and i am scared to go into this but here we go

her scorpio mercury conjunct her venus can make her mind prone to seeing disloyalty in situations when it isn’t even there

this can cause some trust issues, but if hyejoo uses her talent of speaking about emotions from her libra moon, these issues can be resolved

wants her s/o to talk to her!

and reassure her!

about these things

begins to become more light-hearted with her jealousy, instead of keeping it to herself and fuming over it while listening to angsty songs

it can come up randomly though

her aquarius mars is prone to becoming irritated by misunderstandings or injustices

which can relate to jealousy through hyejoo feeling as if her s/o is not understanding her feelings and is disregarding them

may have trouble coming to terms with the fact that she is an individual, and her feelings will never be truly related to or understood :(

which makes her sad, but she does find originality attractive?

send help

jealousy is just something she’s going to have to deal with throughout her life

jo haseul;

please don’t ever make haseul jealous

she will be dramatic, no doubt about it

knows how to step back from problems and see them from other’s perspectives easily, but envy can cloud her vision

most jealous of friends, people who she doesn’t know that hit on her s/o don’t bother her too much

haseul feels so proud of herself because she knows she has you all to herself

but with friends she can begin to get insecure

but her libra venus makes her keen to become friends with the people her s/o knows

depends on her mood and how her day has gone

wants an apology and milks a crunchy bunch of hugs out of you

will tell stories about when she was jealous over you as funny memories

in the end, she’s not too bothered by it

especially if your relationship has been stable and is long-term

but in the beginning she could feel as if you’re not committing (she’s likely not completely committed either tho)

loyalty is required, but is a big step for haseul and any of her potential partners

jeon heejin;

scorpio mercurians are more likely to perceive situations with feelings of jealousy or envy

they could project their own fears into what they see, and bend the truth a bit

and most of the time? it’s not even in their favor, they will see the worst of a situation before anyone else

but! heejin is a libra, and places beauty and good over everything else

so, in a circumstance where her s/o is causing her to feel jealous or possessive, she will hold back her feelings slightly and try to see the light in the situation

heejin will inevitably envy a person if her s/o’s attention is focused mainly of them at some point

but she will address these feelings in a civilized way

talks to her s/o about it, and makes sure they’re not in any way feeling pressured or accused

wants to know if her s/o was aware of how heejin was feeling or didn’t even notice before she continues on with her interrogation

really, heejin just wants an apology

unless her s/o noticed her jealousy and didn’t make any attempt at changing their actions to make her feel better

then, well, heejin won’t be too happy

but you know scorpio venusians, they love it when their partner “sacrifices” something for them and shows their loyalty

kim hyunjin;

hyunjin is more mentally strong in terms of jealousy compared to most other scorpios

her capricorn venus keeps her cancer moon in check, and helps to make her emotions seem more mature and educated

adapts to her partner’s personality easily, and understands if they are a touchy, more affectionate type

won’t restrict their freedom, it’s the last thing she would ever want to do

capricorn venusians take pride in how well they take care of their lovers, so hyunjin would never feel the need to impose accusations of disloyalty upon her s/o

the only reason she would feel jealous is if her s/o was letting someone else protect/take care of them

hyunjin wants to be the only one who does that

will steal her s/o away from that person, and try to show her partner how much she cares and adores them

so wholesome even when she’s hurt i can not

her cancer moon heightens her need to protect

so just let her, don’t try to make others do things for you, hyunjin will happily bake you bread or something or whatever else you need

im yeojin;

i get the vibe that yeojin doesn’t get jealous too easily

well, maybe she does, but just keeps it to herself

distances herself from the situation and her feelings in order to stay grounded

which sounds counterproductive but she makes it work in some magical way

this can make her feel detached from feelings that she needs to confront, however, and can create resentment and grudges without her realizing

it will most likely be her s/o that brings it up, after seeing yeojin be so detached and zoned out for such a long time

yeojin will have been thinking about her feelings regarding envy for a while, which creates the zoning out/distanced vibe

honestly has no idea how to deal with it

her s/o will have to like walk her through jealousy

talking about problems does help yeojin work through them though, and will come to lots of conclusions during the conversation

enjoys learning and maturing through her emotions too

so it’s a win-win

fixes the problem immediately, either works through jealous thoughts or removes the situation that is making her have them

jung jinsoul;

poor baby gets so upset over this

jinsoul’s biggest dream is to have a completely secure relationship

cancer venusians have a tendency to hoard their lover and never let anyone else receive attention from them

they do hold back sometimes though, and keep their feelings to themselves in order to not be hurt by the opinions and reactions of their significant other

jinsoul just wants a loyal s/o who won’t intentionally make her jealous just to mess with her

would feel so betrayed by the “make your s/o jealous and see what they do” trope

although might be prone to at least attempting it on her s/o

she loves the feeling of being wanted

will give up half-way through though, and demand hugs

she just wants cuddles that’s it

a little bit of angst is a favorite of her’s though, and she honestly wouldn’t be too bothered by feelings of jealousy

just as long as they’re not consistent or a major issue

however, she might tend to fall for people that prey on her caring nature and jealousy could be a theme in her love life

she has to learn to step back, stop blaming herself, and find people who are as sincere and loving as her

ha sooyoung;

sooyoung isn’t affected by jealousy as much as her members (cough cough the scorpios cough cough)

is most likely not even going to notice if her s/o is acting more affectionate to others

like you could try and try to make her jealous to see her reaction but like

she doesn’t even realize what you’re doing

her pride is hurt if her s/o does try to do that though, so please don’t attempt that

venus opposition moon can cause unrest in terms of emotions related to love, so jealousy in a relationship would mess up sooyoung’s mind

she would feel uncomfortable and get “bad vibes” from the other person

needs clear communication and not body language/facial expressions used to convey feelings

sooyoung loves people with strong opinions to debate over, and would not be impressed if her s/o didn’t make a stand if someone was hitting on them

doesn’t want the whole watersign-esque way of showing loyalty and stuff

would much rather have their s/o laugh it off, with a little explanation of like “uh i have a girlfriend”

but she wants others to know her s/o is dating her, and is not available

someone hitting on her s/o is like one of two things that make yves jealous

the other being her s/o spending a bunch of time with someone else that isn’t a close friend/family member

park chaewon;

is more protective than jealous, but she has her moments

can subconsciously hurt her own feelings because she focuses on all the tiny details of a situation and observes every movement of you or the person she is jealous of

avoids talking about feelings that are uncomfortable or she thinks you won’t accept

so consequently squishes her jealousy into a tiny ball and tries to throw it away

but it’ll come up at some point

and when it does, it won’t be too bad too be honest

gowon will probably end up confronting you after her virgo moon blows a situation out of proportion while still focusing on all the details

and explodes for like two seconds

then recovers extremely fast and sits there like ?? why was i so mad

hopes you forget the whole situation

and jealousy most likely won’t come up again, now that she got it all out

and guilt will override it

doesn’t remember it after a while, but her mind keeps her thoughts away from jealousy now that a bad experience is tied to it

but before she blows up, her jealousy could be almost like a night terror, she thinks about it constantly and it haunts her for a few days

but as i said, once she lets it out, she’ll be fine

wong gaahei;

naturally, gaahei isn’t that jealous

however, romantic relationships is where her envy comes out the most, due to her scorpio venus

these sorts of situations only happen after you’ve been together for a long time

at first, vivi isn’t too protective and doesn’t want to scare you

observes how you react if she starts to be more protective and possessive

then acts accordingly

although she’ll probably get jealous at some point no matter what

if you’re the type of person who isn’t bothered much by your s/o being overly loyal and attached, then vivi feels more comfortable expressing her feelings in the envy department

gets annoyed at too much unnecessary physical contact

keeps her feelings hidden until she has you alone

doesn’t want to be embarrassed by making a huge scenes (although the daggers in her eyes aren’t helping her attempt at hiding her emotions

talks to you afterward and can be a bit critical ):

but as long as you y’know, do the apologizing thingo and show your loyalty (this sounds real toxic but i promise it’s not, vivi just wants to be overdramatic, such a hopeless romantic)

kim jungeun;

jungeun tends to lose herself inside her head when she experiences feelings of jealousy

her pisces venus in relation to her aquarius sun can make her love style separate from her identity

this means serious insecurity that she doesn’t even notice can squeeze into her relationships and make her seem insincere at times

then, her sagittaiurs moon immediately tells her to run away for fear of being in a situation that traps her and that she can’t escape from

feelings of intensity and revenge scare her

envy is a controversial topic in her eyes and she tries to avoid it at all costs

however, she also has a scorpio mars 

so whenever she lets the jealousy in, it blows up since she’s been repressing it for so long

like i mentioned earlier, jungeun will lose herself in her mind and let her emotions take the reins

this can cause serious damage to her lover and leave them feeling incredibly and untrustworthy

like jungeun will make them question their entire existence for a few hours/days

then she’ll be back, thinking “what the heck did i just do”

choi yerim;

the least jealous out of the twelve

her mars opposes her sun, (sagittarius and gemini,) which creates a struggle between anger and ego

her “triggers” are different than her personality in a way, and unless she was already in a bad mood, jealousy isn’t an emotion she would feel often

however, her gemini sun can make her flip a switch within a few seconds, so changing to a more irritable mood could be easy

but, she doesn’t want to be in a bad mood obviously, so she stays away from hard feelings and almost runs from them

she has a lot of mutable energy in her personal planets, which can cause choerry to look for her s/o’s reaction before acting on her feelings

unless her s/o looks uncomfortable by physical affection/time spent with another person, yerim won’t do much

she’ll stand back and let things happen

might bring up envy at some point, but only in a casual confrontation

her taurus mercury doesn’t like to be challenged, but unless she has a serious reason to bring up conflict she will keep it to the side

laughs about it if she talks to her s/o about it, doesn’t want to make it into a deep situation, just wants some clarification

kim jiwoo;

barely gets jealous, is more protective than anything

will just be confused by situations where she feels jealous, chuu might not even recognize what emotion she’s feeling

talks to her s/o about it though

doesn’t make a huge deal of the whole situation

just wants a small explanation

her capricorn mars can cause her pride to be hurt at some point in time

for example, if her s/o is making her jealous and she realizes how disloyal her s/o is being

she’ll tell them, and that’ll be the end of it

but, if they don’t listen to her, chuu will be really mad

might give the silent treatment

will legit scold her s/o like a parent

might never get over it, capricorn marsians tend to hold onto feelings of grief or betrayal for a long time because they feel as if they could have handled the situation better

it’ll be one of those experiences that chuu slams her pillow into her head over at 2 a.m. because she just remembered it

finds anger to be embarrassing at times? if her s/o isn’t in the same head-space/mood and doesn’t understand her

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

#10: Mistake

(read it on Ao3 here!)

Things were still tense between Lewis and Arthur. Vivi could tell.

Of course they were. After Arthur thought he was missing and searched for him for years, while Lewis went on a misguided revenge quest against him, only for his identity to be revealed at the worst possible time in the worst possible way – they had every right to feel conflicted about each other. While Lewis unlearned the belief that Arthur killed him, and Arthur adjusted to the giant murder specter no longer being out for his blood, of course they were a little… awkward.

But this was getting ridiculous. It had been over a month, and the two of them still barely so much as looked at each other, keeping their eyes carefully steered away when they were forced into the same room. Had they even talked about anything yet? Or were they just pretending the other didn’t exist?

She didn’t want to push them if they really weren’t ready. Not least because it could end bad, if Lewis went into another rage or Arthur was harboring more resentment than she thought. But she didn’t see the harm in giving them little nudges. Encouraging them to spend time together, hoping to remind them of why they’d loved each other, back when Lewis was alive and nobody was afraid of murder coming out of nowhere.

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be working.

Maybe they needed time alone, without her there. She could admit she’d been a little… hovery. She was just – she was worried, she still hadn’t gotten the new memories a hundred percent situated in her head and when she looked at Lewis her first thought was still shit, it’s the wraith, run. But… he’d been anything but the wraith, now that his own memories were complete. He’d been almost the opposite, meek and uncertain at the best of times. Maybe her presence was discouraging him from actually talking to Arthur, worried that she’d see it as a threat and snap at him. Which. Yes, she’d done that a couple times, in the first week or so, but she wasn’t doing it now. She’d been very careful (after Arthur gave her a warning about it) not to be rude to him! But… maybe it was worth a shot to orchestrate some alone time, anyway.

Well, “orchestrate some alone time” sounded more fancy than it was. She was going to swap shifts with Chloe.

It didn’t help.

She found several different excuses to go out, all with very well-defined time limits – work, running to the next town over for research material, stopping at home to help with chores. But if anything, the situation seemed to be getting worse. She came home every time to a clean but quiet house and two quieter friends, in separate rooms, giving her one-word answers when she tried to talk to them.

She really didn’t want to put them on the spot about this – was it even her place? – but unless she wanted to keep dealing with this, it seemed like she didn’t have a choice.

“Do you think Vivi knows?”

“Hmm?”

Arthur and Lewis were sitting together on the couch, legs tangled together. Lewis was reading, and Arthur was scrolling on his phone, though he’d set it down to look back at Lewis.

“About… y’know.” He waved at the room. “This.”

“Wh- oh. I mean, I don’t… see why… she would? It’s not like we’ve done anything, or said– I mean, I know I haven’t.”

“Yeah- yeah, I know, but it… it s-s-seems like she’s been orchestrating a lot- a lot of… time for us alone? I mean- this doesn’t feel like- like just, coincidence, yeah?”

Lewis sets the book down, staring at the ceiling. “…Maybe. Maybe she… overheard something, or just figured it out on her own, and… wanted to give us our space?”

“Feels too- too nice for Vi, but yeah, maybe.”

There was silence for a moment.

“We could just… y’know. Tell everyone.”

“I- I mean, it’s your call.”

“It’s yours too!” Lewis looked back down at him. “This affects you too.”

“Yeah, but it- it’s mostly you.” He tapped him on the chest with the back of his hand. “I’m good with wha- whatever you wanna do, yeah?”

He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. “I just… I want a little more time.” Time for everyone to get used to me, is the unfinished second half of the sentence.

“Then time you’ll have!”

“It’s just, I know- you probably don’t like keeping it a secret.”

“You don’t like keeping s-se- secrets. I do this for fun.” Arthur’s hand trailed down to his wrist and squeezed it. “It’s al-“

He was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, and Vivi’s voice shouting “Hey, I’m back, I just forgot something!”

Immediately the two of them scrambled to untangle themselves from the very conspicuous limb pile they were wrapped up in. There was a moment of confusion about which way was best for each of them to move, and then Arthur ended up pulling himself across Lewis’s lap and hopping the armrest while he got up.

They mistimed spectacularly, and Arthur tipped over before he had his feet on the floor, smacking his head directly into the end table with a definitive bang and an “Ow! Fuck!”

Lewis floated over the back of the couch, intending to help him– but then he heard Vivi’s footsteps coming down the hall and was frozen in indecision for a moment. Was helping him up too familiar? Should he sit back down? Should–

Vivi was there before he could make a decision. She glanced between the two of them, frowning, and then focused on Arthur, saying, “you okay?”

“You surprised me,” he whined, the very picture of innocent, boring clumsiness. Lewis almost had to admire it.

Her eyes flicked to Lewis for a second, and then she was moving to help him up, even though he was mostly standing up already.

Okay, this time wasn’t part of some grand scheme. Vivi legitimately had to run out. Or, not had to, but they were in dire need of snacks and the store was closing soon. She didn’t get very far before realizing she left her wallet at home.

Only a moment after she opened the door, there was a loud bang from down the hall, accompanied by Arthur swearing a lot. She frowned and stuck her head in the door, still in her shoes.

Arthur was there, kneeling on the floor, apparently having just smacked his head on the table. Lewis was hovering just behind him, staring at her and looking a little paralyzed.

A shock ran through her, turning her blood cold. He– he wouldn’t have. Right?

Not a good time to ask. She looked back over to Arthur. “You okay?”

“You surprised me,” he huffed, reaching up to put one hand on the table and pull himself up. He sounded honest, but she was having trouble imagining how her opening the door translated to him tripping over into a table. Although Arthur was impressively clumsy and easy to startle sometimes.

She glanced over to Lewis, but his expression didn’t hint at anything. With a laughed “hey, sorry!” she went over to check on Arthur and help him up.

Enough was enough. She was all for letting them talk things over on their own – they were adults, after all, they should have been capable of that – but that required them to actually talk. Or at least admit they weren’t comfortable sharing a living space for now, if that was too hard.

So over dinner one day, as everyone was more or less finishing up, she set her utensils down on the table with an, “okay, look. We need to talk.”

Weirdly enough, it was Lewis who went more tense at that. Had he always been that edgy?– She couldn’t remember, but she didn’t think so. He fiddled with his sleeve-cuff, regarding her with upturned brows, his shoulders high and tight.

Arthur looked nervous, for his own part, but not quite as much as Lewis did. His eyes flicked to Lewis for a moment, and then he slowly lowered his fork with a wide-eyed stare. “About… what?”

“About you two!” She spread her hands out to emphasize. “I mean, I get it, okay? But you either need to talk or step away. Not– the weird- uncomfortable ignoring thing you’re doing now.”

Some of the tension actually went out of Lewis at that. Like he was expecting her to say something even worse. Arthur tilted his head a little, frowning. “Uh, what?”

“Come on, you two can barely even look at each other! I’ve been trying to get you to work it out, but apparently you aren’t getting the message! So. Talk.”

The two of them stared at each other for a while, expressions unreadable.

“I, um, I think the game is up,” Lewis said hesitantly, and then Arthur burst out laughing.

“Uh, what?” she said, lowering her hands. He just slumped back into his chair, continuing into an almost silent snort-giggle. It was… nice to see him laugh so genuinely, but she still wasn’t entirely sure why.

“I- uh, shit.” He lowered the hand he had pressed to his face to look at Lewis. “Are y- are you s-sure?”

Lewis sighed, but the crinkle around his eyes indicated he was smiling. “Yes. Sure. Go ahead.”

“Okay. W-we-“ He took a deep breath and sat up straighter, reining in his laughter. “We’re not av- a-avoiding each other ‘cause we’re- we haven’t t-talked. We, we’re actually, uh.” He glances again at Lewis, who nods. “We’re dating.”

“Wait, what?”

He giggles again at her reaction. Lewis is still quietly looking at his hands, but for once, Arthur seems content to do most of the talking. “We, uh, we talked everything out right af- after th- a-after the… whole thing at th-the shop. Th-that night, actually. You were asleep. Kind of… cleared the air, yeah? Once we figured out the… th-th whole thing with my arm,” he swallows, shivering at the memory, “it was… a lot… better?”

“Obviously we didn’t start- then,” Lewis picks up, “but… it was only a few days after. After a few more conversations and… there was kind of this feeling of- at least for me- not knowing if we’d… have another chance to say it? So…”

“I- I mean, and that was- w-was part of the reason why we… didn’t tell anyone? We weren’t sure if i- if it’d work, there might’ve been… too much stuff, or we just weren’t… in- i-in the right space, but… it… s-s-seems to be working okay?”

Lewis nods. “And, I know you… a lot of people still don’t… trust me. Entirely. I didn’t want anyone to think…” he trails off, letting Vivi fill in the sentence on her own.

“Oh. Okay. But, um, then, what’s with all the… glaring in Arthur’s direction…?”

Arthur snorts again, and Lewis buries his head in his hands. “My face just does this,” he groans. “I think it’s my default with the skull.”

She bites back a giggle at that. “Sh- okay, then, uh. I’m… I’m really happy for you guys…?”

“Thanks,” they both mutter at the same time.

[acciomanorian]

The One Where Cardan Got Kicked Out Of The Bar (1)

Our resident dumbass High King got himself and Jude kicked out of the bar. Thank you to everybody on the JurdanNet Discord who helped draft this entire fic, it wouldn’t be here without you. For the record, this was supposed to be a one shot, but it’s becoming a multichapter, so here you go.

Warning: Smut involved (17+)

One of the High King and Queen of Faerie’s favorite place to spend time together is a mortal bar. Doesn’t matter where the bar is, as long as there is alcohol, or so Cardan Greenbriar says. The one thing Cardan doesn’t like about the mortal bars are the people who hit on his wife. Jude Duarte, on the other hand, enjoys this very much because it gives her the opportunity to fight, one of her favorite pastimes. Of course, the sight of seeing Jude fight arouses something in Cardan, after all that is his wife, but just once, he would love to be the one to take down the stranger. 

One night at a bar located in New York City, a strange and magical place that Cardan finds so fascinating, probably because it is so different from Elfhame, Cardan is granted his wish. When Cardan had gotten up to use the bathroom, a man had come to take his spot, and for once in her life, Jude was too drunk to defend herself. Seeing this sent Cardan into a rage and he quickly came up behind the guy, tapping him on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, but I believe the lady asked you to stop,” Cardan slurred. Nobody said that he wasn't drunk either, but he’s had years of experience.

“Buddy, I don’t know who you think you are, but I think you should leave me and the lady alone. I’ll decide when it’s time to stop.” The attitude of the man alone was enough to infuriate Cardan, but the sentence brought his anger to a whole other level.

“My name is Cardan Greenbriar, and that is my wife!” and the next thing the man knew he was being thrown across the bar, almost through the wall. 

Everybody around them was instantly on their feet, unsure of whether to help the man or restrain Cardan. 

“I think you’ve killed him.” Jude was looking over with a pleased smile on her face. “How does it feel to kill?”

“I didn’t kill him, there’s birds flying around his head. He’ll be fine.” Cardan shrugged it off, knowing that a knockout was better than death, especially since he was so against killing people. It was one thing for Jude to kill somebody, in the name of the crown or otherwise, it was quite another for Cardan to take a life.

“Are you sure those aren’t the splinters of wood from the wall you just threw him through?”

“Like I said, he’ll be fine Jude, darling. But… we should probably get going. Those guys don’t look too fine.” Cardan pointed at the 3 hulking mortal men coming their way. Hurriedly, Jude and Cardan exited the bar, only to have the door slammed in their faces and a rough don’t ever return shouted through it.

“Great!” Jude explained, “You just got us kicked out of the bar.” 

“Yeah, but there are a ton of other bars to go to. It’s only one bar, and besides, I don’t want to inhabit a place that lets people flirt with married women. Especially when their husband is right across the room.”

“Oh yes, so heroic, Mr. Cardan ‘that’s my wife’ Greenbriar. I could’ve handled myself.” After the ordeal, Cardan could see that Jude was sobering up, but it still wasn’t enough for her to have been able to handle herself against a mortal trying to take advantage of her. “Whatever, let’s just go home.”

Just as they were about to reach a safe place for their return, Jude received a ping on the phone that she borrowed from Vivi. 

“Cardan… look at what you did. We are banned from every bar and club in the country, possibly the whole world.”

Cardan furrowed his brow. “For one fight? That doesn’t make sense.”

“How about for the fact that you threw the guy through the wall. With one punch.”

“Oh.”

Grabbing two pieces of ragwort weed from his pocket, conjuring up two ragwort steeds for them to get home. Soon they were safely inside of Elfhame, making their way towards the palace and their bedroom.

Jude, still drunk, reached for Cardan, pulling his lips to hers. Not one to say no to his wife, Cardan greedily kissed her, pulling Jude to the bed as they removed their mortal clothing. Once they were fully unclothed, Cardan gently laid Jude down on the bed, separating their lips as he pulled the covers over her. Jude struggled, obviously expecting something more from Cardan, but he gently shushed her, with a command to stop struggling. 

Although Jude may have been the more forceful one in the marriage, there was still some stuff Cardan could get away with in the bedroom, and ordering his wife around was one of those. 

Once Jude was safely ensconced in the blankets, Cardan went over to his side, cuddling up to his wife. His full length pressed up against her, and while he may have regretted saying no to Jude mentally, his body wasn’t going to be very forgiving. Soon, though, exhaustion overtook them both, from ruling all of Elfhame and their brawl at the bar, and the alcohol in their systems, and Jude and Cardan found themselves fast asleep until late in the morning.

           ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Jude was on a mission. 

“You got us kicked out of almost all the bars in the world, now you can help me find at least one that will let us in.”

“What? Wait, why do I have to help?” Cardan said groggily. He had just woken up, and was feeling the effects of a hangover due to the cheap alcohol from the night before. 

“Because I said so, and because you are the reason we are in this mess in the first place.” 

“Ugh, fine.” Cardan grumbled but rolled out of bed, pulling on a robe and making his way to the desk where Jude was pouring over the mortal laptop she had somehow configured into working in Faerie. Not the Cardan was complaining. He was currently watching a show called Lucifer on this Netflix app and the lead seemed like just his type. If Cardan wasn’t entirely enthralled by Jude, he would probably be trying to court the Tom Ellis chap. 

As they looked over the mortal Google maps, trying to find at least a single bar, Cardan absentmindedly rubbed his hand across Jude’s back. Finally, just when he was beginning to lose focus for the fifteenth time, Jude spotted something.

“There!” she cried, although her voice was hoarse so it sounded more like a whisper. She was pointing to a spot in a remote-looking part of Canada. “It’s a biker bar, and they say that everyone is welcomed, no matter how bad, ugly, anything. There is also no notice for it saying that we are banned.”

“Guess we found our new spot, then. Now, we’ve got other matters to attend to, after all, it is the weekend, and we should have some time to ourselves.” Cardan grinned at his wife, who slowly slid her eyes to his own. There was a gleam there that had been missing moments before, which meant she knew exactly what matters she was talking about. Jude had wanted to start something last night, and Cardan fully intended to finish it now that they were both sober. 

“Yes, my king, we should,” Jude purred, rubbing her arm across Cardan’s thigh. Goosebumps formed along his arms and legs, as well as his bare stomach. The robe he was wearing really did nothing to help Jude’s advances, which was really unfair considering that she was in a tank top and mortal leggings.

Jude pulled Cardan to his feet and pulled the robe off of his shoulders. She tried to take the lead in this, and normally Cardan would let her, but he was feeling very authoritative at the moment. He grabbed Jude’s hands and pulled her to the middle of the room. “Kneel.”

At the command, Jude began to glare at Cardan, knowing full well where this was going. However, she did as he asked, getting down onto her knees, still fully dressed. 

Cardan tutted disapprovingly. “Something seems wrong with the picture, don’t you agree Jude, dear. It appears that I am fully unclothed, and you are not.” Jude’s fingers found the hem of her tank top, and she began to pull it over her stomach. From where Cardan was standing over her, he saw the swell of her breast bounce as she released them from the top, obviously not wearing any mortal contraptions to contain them. 

As she began to stand again to remove her leggings, Cardan pushed Jude back to the ground, with both tail and hands. “Have I given you permission to stand yet?” Jude shook her head. “I’m sorry, what was that?” 

“Yes, my king.” There was a tinge of bitterness in her voice at being forced to submit, but Cardan could see the full force of his actions reflected in her eyes as she looked up at him. 

“Better,” Cardan said. “You may stand now.” Cardan knew that to anyone else, he would come across as cruel, but he also knew that this was the exact thing that Jude needed in order to find release. Once she was fully naked, Cardan pushed her onto the bed, arms and legs splayed.

“Now, for a test of your control. You are not to move until I say you do, unless you want to be restrained. Do you understand?”

“Yes, my king,” Jude breathed, as Cardan began to kiss his way up her stomach, pausing to individually kiss each breast. Jude moaned as Cardan moved his way up to her neck and began slowly kissing and sucking at the point where her shoulder met her neck. Cardan’s tail slowly made its way down her leg wrapping itself around her left ankle and rubbing softly against it. True to her word, she remained still, not even flinching at his cold fingertips as they found her thighs and began to travel upwards. Cardan began to run a finger down her core, and at the same time began to move his lips closer to her mouth. 

“Remember, Jude dear, my sweet villain, don’t move a muscle.” And with that reminder, Cardan slid a finger inside of her, catching her cry of pleasure with his mouth. There was a buck of her hips, and a tightening of her hands on the sheets, but that was the only movement displayed by Jude. 

“Good girl,” he whispered as he slid his finger in and out, in and out. Once she was used to that, Cardan added a second finger, joining the first one in its ministrations. 

“Please my king, I am going to come.” Cardan knew that Jude was telling the truth, but he was still in control, and therefore he would make Jude beg for it. And beg she would.

“Cardan,” she gasped, “please, Cardan my king. Please.” There were tears beginning to form in the corner of Jude’s eyes, and Cardan gave a slight dip of his head, acknowledged by a sign of relief. Removing his fingers from between Jude’s legs, Cardan lined himself up.

Before he entered his wife, however, he paused. “What do you say, Jude dear?”

“Please my king.” With that, Cardan sheathed himself inside of Jude, allowing them both to adjust before beginning to move, sliding in and out, getting deeper and deeper. It wasn’t long before Jude was crying his name, all pretenses of control lost as she gripped his hair, and Cardan let her. He followed his wife as she went over the edge. 

Cardan remained inside of Jude long after they were done, just holding his wife, and enjoying the moment together. He finally slid out, rolling over until he was spooning Jude, and although it was only afternoon, soon tumbled into darkness. His tail had moved from where it had remained around Jude’s ankle to her thigh, brushing soothing strokes up and down, reaching the underside of her cheeks. 

This time when he woke up, Jude was still in bed. However, she was glaring at him, and Cardan could almost see the daggers in her eyes, caused by his actions from earlier in the day. 

“You are so getting paid back for that,” she said, poking him in the chest. Cardan only rolled his eyes before pulling her closer and saying “You love me.” Jude pushed him away, untangling herself from the sheets and Cardan as she got up and walked over to the bathroom.

“Now, I don’t know about you, but we’ve got people to meet and a bar to check out. I’m going to clean up, but feel free to join me.” To say that Cardan was quick to get out of bed was an understatement as he rushed to join his wife in the bathroom, preferably for a round two.

If you want to be tagged, send me an ask... some of you aren’t permanent tags, but if you want to be, just tell me. I hope you all enjoyed!

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @theoceanfaewriter @snusbandxknifewife @angelofmusic223 @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @clockworkgraystairs @sweetlyvillainous @b00kworm

[distractedhistotech]

Lewis Joins the Gang (Again)

As usual, Arthur was the first to wake up.  He felt like he’d taken too much pain medication before going to bed and…there was something on top of him that was not Vivi or Mystery.  It felt smooth and warm.  He sat up.  “What.” He stared at the pile of purple ghosts covering him, Vivi, and Mystery.  On a purple bed.  In…a large room.  It looked like the entrance room of a mansion.

Wait, wait, wait…He was starting to remember.  “Uh, ghost guy, you there?”  Arthur started shaking Vivi.  “Hey, hey, Vivi.  Wake up. Something crazy.  And ghosty.  And maybe cursy.  And I think you’ll need to drive today.”  He picked up one of the Deadbeats.  “Why are you not scaring me?”

Vivi groaned.  “Five more minutes.”

“You are literally covered in ghosts,” Arthur said as he attached his prosthetic.

Vivi almost immediately shot up.  “Oh my gosh! They’re so cute!”  She started scratching one on the top of its head.  “Yes, you are, yes you are.”  She paused.  “Hey, where are we?”

“Haunted house,” replied Arthur.

Vivi blinked.  “Huh.  Why don’t I remember that?”

“Ghost guy said…” Arthur paused and looked around.  “Actually, where is he?”  One of the ghosts popped up holding a pretty blue heart with orange filigree all over it.  “Huh. Why does that seem familiar?”

“Hm…”  Vivi picked up the heart.  “Why is the color-”

Vivi was interrupted when purple fire shot out of the heart and formed a familiar ghost.  Well, familiar to Arthur anyway.  “Hey, ghost guy.”

Lewis blinked.  “Uh, hey.”

“Whoa!  You look so cool!” crowed Vivi.

Lewis blushed a little.  “R-really?”

“Yeah, the suit, and the skull, and the fire, it’s awesome!” said Vivi.  She frowned.  “Uh, did you do something to our memories?”

Lewis quickly held his hands up.  “Not on purpose!  I tried to introduce myself, but whenever I said my name, you passed out and forgot stuff!”

Vivi frowned.  “Maybe it’s a safeguard?  Knowing someone’s true name can give you power over them…”

“But I really wanted to tell you my name!” protested Lewis.

“And we appreciate that, but given the side effects, you probably shouldn’t,” mused Vivi.

“And-and there was that other thing,” said Lewis.  “See?” Lewis put his glamour back on.  “This is supposed to be what I looked like when I was alive, and that’s what I see when I look in the mirror, but Artie said that’s not what I look like!”

Both humans winced. “Oof, yeah, that’s not a human face,” agreed Vivi.  “Could you…” Lewis dropped the glamour.  “Thanks.  Okay, that makes less sense.  Glamours are specifically for blending in.”  Vivi hummed in thought for several moments.  “This could take a while to figure out…But we need to get to Techno Con.”

Lewis blinked.  “Techno Con?”

“I’ve got a booth there to show off my prosthetics,” explained Arthur.  “And I’m hoping to pick up a few new things myself.”

“Oh, congratulations,” said Lewis as an idea started to occur to him.  “But…Maybe…If it’s a not a problem, I could go with you.  Then you’d have plenty of time to figure out what’s wrong.”

Arthur’s mouth fell open in shock and nervousness.  Vivi thought a moment.  “That’s a tempting offer, but I have some concerns.”  She pointed at Arthur.  “Firstly, Arthur has to agree.”

Lewis nodded.  “Of course.”

“Secondly, how do we know you won’t try to kill us or drain our energy?” pointed out Vivi.

“I could’ve done that while you were sleeping,” pointed out Lewis.  He paused.  “Not that I would!”

“Hm…”  Vivi nodded.  “Good point.  Secondly, why would you want to come with us?  Most ghosts are tethered to a place.”

Lewis winced.  “I didn’t want to stay there.”

Vivi winced.  “Ah.  Sorry.”

“And…I was lonely,” admitted Lewis.  “I don’t want to be alone.”

“What about these guys?” asked Arthur, holding up a chirping Deadbeat.

“The Deadbeats are more like cats.  I can talk to them, but they don’t give me a response,” explained Lewis.  “They are my friends, and they helped me stay sane, but I missed being able to talk to people.”  Especially these people.

“Bit of an unusual motive, but I can believe it,” commented Vivi.  “But why us, haven’t you run into other people before?”

“I’ve only been dead for a few months.”  At least Lewis thought it was months.  He hadn’t been able to keep track of time during his trek to civilization.  “And I kind of died in the middle of nowhere, and it turns out it can take a while to find a road if you don’t have a map or compass.”

“I think I saw an episode of Mythbusters about that,” commented Arthur.

Vivi nodded.  “Okay, you want friends, but if you haven’t been dead that long, wouldn’t it make more sense to return home where your friends and family are?  Or are you worried about how they’ll react?” she asked.

“Oh, I actually was on my way home,” said Lewis.  “I just ran into you first, and I figured I could hitch a ride with you since I’m from Tempo too.”

“How do you know we’re from Tempo?” asked Arthur.

“You guys are kind of infamous.  I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone in town knew who you were,” explained Lewis.

“True, random strangers will walk up to me and ask me tips about ghosts and stuff,” agreed Vivi. “What about you?  Any chance we’ve ever met before.”

Lewis perked up. “Yeah!  I was a chef at Pepper Paradiso!”

Arthur frowned. “Pepper Paradiso’s a restaurant?” he asked in confusion.

“Yeah, it serves pretty spicy food so you wouldn’t like it,” said Vivi.  It was why she’d never taken him there for a date.

“Huh?  You’ve both been there plenty of times though,” said Lewis.

“Nah, I can’t stand spicy food,” said Arthur.  “If it’s mostly spicy stuff I’d avoid it.”

Oh, this was so much worse than Lewis had thought.  “A-And we went to the same high school!”

“Were we in the same grade?” asked Arthur.

“Uh, I was in the grade below you,” said Lewis.

“Then you might be in some of our yearbooks,” reasoned Arthur.  “Of course we don’t exactly carry those around.”

“Ugh, yeah, and it’s probably been long enough that you can’t look at it online,” muttered Lewis. “I went to Tome Tomb all the time…Why don’t either of you remember me…” Lewis finished sadly.

“Well, in one’s day-to-day life you don’t remember every single person you run into,” pointed out Arthur.

“I’m seven feet tall though!” shouted Lewis, getting frustrated.  “I stood out like a sore thumb!”

“Okay, yeah, that’d be pretty memorable,” agreed Arthur.  “You’d think we’d remember someone like that.”

“Hm…You know, I don’t remember anyone talking about a chef at Pepper Paradiso going missing,” mused Vivi.  “I wonder if any memories were erased from everyone’s minds.”

The thought was so horrifying that Lewis could just stare at them in horror.

“Whoa, that’s a bit of a big leap!” pointed out Arthur.  “I mean it’s weird neither of us have heard about a local giant, but we might just be clueless. Heck, maybe we could call home and ask while we’re traveling.”

“True,” agreed Vivi. “Although even if that’s wrong, I’d like to help this guy.  Something really odd is going on with him.”

Arthur bit his lip and studied the nervous looking Lewis.  He weighed the pros and cons.  He sighed.  “If you can’t disguise yourself, you can’t really go out in public.  You okay with that?”

“Well, I could turn invisible,” pointed out Lewis, doing so for a moment to prove that was a thing he could do.  “If I didn’t let other people know I was around, would that be all right?”

Arthur thought for a moment before sighing.  “As long as you let us know where you are, yeah.”

Vivi gave Arthur a startled look, not expecting him to support this.  Still, if he was okay with it, she wasn’t gonna give up this opportunity to get a ghost teammate who would maybe help them out on investigations and let her study him a bit.  “Okay, so if you and your Deadbeats (Heh, funny name.) agree to behave and stay out of sight, you can travel with us until we got back to Tempo.  Deal?”

“When will you be going back to Tempo?” asked Lewis.

“Well, we have like 8 days funds, but depending on if we earn anything we might travel around a bit longer,” explained Arthur.

Lewis was familiar with this traveling plan, so he nodded.  “It’s a deal.”

“Great!  Now we should probably head out,” said Vivi.  “We don’t want to fall too far behind in our plans.”

Lewis nodded.  “Sure thing.”  He then proceeded to collapse the entire house into fire and absorb it into his anchor.  He paused as he saw the other three staring at him in shock.  “Uh, did I forget to mention I could do that?”

“Yes,” squeaked Arthur.

“Oops.”  Lewis chuckled nervously.  “Well, yeah, I can make houses.  And other stuff.”  He coughed nervously somehow.  “So, that’s your van, right?  I’ll just go settle into the back.”  He zoomed off.

Arthur turned to Vivi. “I feel like we might’ve bitten off more than we can chew.”

Vivi shrugged.  “Well, nothing we can do now.  Wanna go grab some waffles?”

“Hm…I’d rather just have some yogurt and fruit.  Not that hungry,” said Arthur as they walked back to the van.

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece 1000 - 10 Confessions as a One Piece Fan

Although we did the Initial Thoughts a week ago (a long week ago, damn) which you can read here I wanted to do something for the official release of One Piece’s 1000th Chapter At first it started out to be ‘10 things I wanna ask Oda that I don’t think we’ll ever know’ but I couldn’t think of 10, then I was gonna do a General opinion post about it, but didn’t want it to come off too negative. So I am settling on a confessions post, which will have elements of these anyway.

So as we have a happy 1000, let’s talk about some stuff I usually don’t get to talk about in One Piece

Note: There will probably be spoilers so make sure you’re up to date

10. Late Beginnings I think the first confession I have to have is that despite being older than One Piece I am unfortunately not a ‘Day One’ fan. In fact I think I mainly got into One Piece around mid-Whole Cake Island arc, before I had of course known about One Piece, it was a ‘Big Three’ anime after all but the most I knew about it was that they had a guy named Luff-y and another called Zorro, and it was about ‘Pirates who can’t swim’. My curiosity only developed when in a youtube deep-dive of anime clips I kept being recommended One Piece clips, and decided to give a couple a go. Most of them were Paradise arc stuff from the anime, the dub voices were mostly atrocious so I stuck to sub. I was happily surprised about the amount of fun and emotional weight these clips gave me, which led me to check where One Piece was as of current and backtrack from there (Ironically I did the same with Beastars). I did eventually get caught up around the time of the Mafia Meeting and I’ve kept up with each chapter since.

9. I mostly still prefer the Pre-Timeskip looks When I first felt this I thought it to be pretty controversial, nowadays not so much. I understand that Oda wanted to change the look for many characters but some of them did feel like a downgrade. I think the ones who got it worst was Franky, I think it’s the bulbous shoulders, Franky was no stranger to body horror from Enies Lobby to Sabaody but I kinda preferred that he still had a lot of his humanity rather than looking like an action figure. Otherwise I think Robin, Nami and Chopper had it bad, maybe Brook too but his was more fashion than design; the women in general took heavy hits by Oda’s proportion design - I mean I get it boobs are nice but proportions are what make them better - but Robin also underwent a skin color change in the anime, who pre-timeskip shaded her skin darker than in the manga and corrected it to match the manga, I think most of us would’ve preferred Robin to have kept the darker skin tone and possibly even the fringe, Robin’s hairstyle (and her fashion in general) can be hit and miss. I go to and fro about Nami, other than the general waist and bust adjustments I think it fits her character to use her sexuality a bit, she was no stranger to that pre-Timeskip, sometimes though I can’t tell whether I preferred her with short or long hair (Short was definitely better on Nojiko), I do think though that Oda could have her show less skin, she is still very pretty in outfits such as Water 7, Thriller Bark and even her fake pirate disguise in the early chapters/episodes. Finally with Chopper I think it was a bad move to alter the hat, that was a memento from his father figure Hiriluk, it’d be like if Luffy altered his straw hat or Zoro replacing Wado Ichimonji, I do also feel that the design for Chopper’s points while easier to draw don’t look as good, I think a lot of it is the scruff, or lack thereof in favour of smoothness, Walk Point is fine but Heavy Point, Guard Point and Horn Point seem less threatening, Monster Point especially too, in Enies Lobby he looked like a cave painting of menace and destruction, now he’s smoother and his scruff lighter so it’s not as good. The rest of the designs I’m quite fine with though.

8. I wish some markings stuck as well Tattoos and Scars seem to be optional in the One Piece world sometimes, unless it’s branded in molten heat like the Dragon’s hoof, Sun Pirates logo or an attack from Sakazuki. While Nami’s redesigned tattoo has stuck around and Luffy and Zoro’s scars persist, they are mainly character reminders/mysteries for huge moments in the story, and I kinda wish that some of the Straw Hats had littler markings, not just scars either. For instance, the Alabasta X on the arm, I really wish that stayed on each of the Alabasta characters’ arms since it was a symbol of friendship with Vivi, I also wish that Luffy kept the 3D2Y mark on his arm. In terms of scars though it would’ve been nice to see the characters a bit more battle-worn; Zoro’s ankle scars from Mr. 3 have faded and frankly he should be covered in little and long scratches given his fights with Mr. 1 and 2 years of Mihawk Training, Nami’s shoulder scar is hidden completely by her tattoo and she has no scars on her hand (from fake stabbing Usopp) or foot (from blocking Miss Doublefinger), Usopp himself could’ve used some small scratches because lord knows how there’s even still bones in his nose plus he was in murder island for 2 years, Chopper could at least have a small bald patch from when his shoulder was impaled and burned by Shura’s fire lance too, other than that there’s just Jimbei’s potentially missing shoulder scar from Marineford, though Oda has kept it obscured a lot so maybe that is still there. I understand why Oda doesn’t or forgets to, but it would’ve been nice if we lived in a vacuum of no time limits and whatnot.

7. Dead End Adventure is my favourite One Piece film I don’t know what it is, but Dead End Adventure just gives me the most fun out of the One Piece films. It has a good side plot and the side character Shuraiya was a blast of a character. Granted, Gaspard wasn’t too good of a villain side for actually harming the straw hat and his defeat was a bit underwhelming but the race, the settings it was all fun. It is not to say I don’t enjoy any other One Piece movies, I delight in the horror fuel of Baron Omatsuri - and that killer final punch - and Z’s tragic tale of a fallen marine, Strong World has that epic entrance to the party and Stampede also had some great team up moments and fantastic writing for Usopp and Smoker but Dead End Adventure always feels like the movie I could watch in any mood.

6. Skypeia and Fishman Island are some of my favourite arcs While I can understand the criticism of the Long Ring Long Land arc (especially since the anime dragged out the Davy Back Fight) it surprised me that people found Skypeia and Fishman Island arcs to be boring or less entertaining than previous arcs. Everyone has their preferences of course but I felt that Skypeia and Fishman Island were very powerful arcs especially with the theme of racism. Both had glorious setting design different to the common customs of the world we had seen, Oda made both Skypeia and Fishman Island feel very much lived in with its own budding culture and prejudices, with a villain who was dead set on destroying everything just to have their way. With Enel and his priests we were able to push several characters to newer limits, with Robin showing her fighting capabilities, Zoro learning his projectile slashes, Chopper having to endure fighting 3 priests and even Usopp growing all the more braver in the face of seemingly indestructible opponents and later gaining access to the dials. With Fishman Island it was different because it was basically a ‘flex arc’: where the main villain is meant to be a stepping stone rather than a threat but even then the symbolism of the enemy is what’s significant with them, the inherited hatred of humans. But at the same time we do learn new strengths from the crew; Red Hawk, the use of armament Haki, Skywalk, Hell Memories, Franky Shogun, Usopp’s pop greens, Nami’s weather eggs, Brook’s Soul Solid and his new DF power (which is possibly an awakening), as well as the first true steps of Jimbei joining the crew. The biggest strength of both arcs is the flashback as well, like Wano would in present time both arcs demonstrated that Oda can carry a story without his main characters and still keep it as captivating as ever, be it the friendship of Noland and Calgara, the tragedies of Otohime and Fisher Tiger or the life of Kozuki Oden and the man who would be Pirate King. And the impact of Fishman Island and Skypeia’s flashbacks both come back around in Dressrosa with the dwarves and Koala, and Fishman Island really does kick off the whole Yonko saga with Luffy challenging Big Mom, these arcs were definitely significant as they were entertaining with silly faces, strong fights, challenging themes, lorebuilding, good side characters and unique twists. And the overall message of healing from the past is still significant to this day. Through Wyper’s sacrifice and the Bell ringing to Jimbei giving blood and the Ryugu royals wanting to attend the Reverie, it is all very powerful stuff and while the arcs are similar in nature its their similarities that make me love them. Also the cover stories with Enel and Gedatsu on their own mini adventures are fun

5. I really want to know where Ghin is Ghin/Gin was such an interesting character in Baratie. Given that this was right before Arlong Park too so we had not seen a character conflict with different loyalties in One Piece until then, his gratitude to Sanji against his loyalty to Krieg created a fantastically complex character, but then he left and we didn’t hear about him ever since. Did he survive Krieg’s poison gas? Is he still with Krieg? One reactor of the episode said “maybe he’ll become the next Don” which was a concept I kinda really liked. The guy was pretty strong given that he had bested Sanji at that time, and since he didn’t appear in a cover story my mind does wonder. It’s not just Ghin either, a lot of the early East Blue characters kinda fell off the map; where is Morgan? Last we saw he was sleeping as he sailed past Jango, where is Kuro? For someone wanting to resume piracy after some years off he has been very quiet, where is Krieg? Only Arlong and Morgan were arrested and the latter escaped so the rest of these characters are a mystery. Recently in Wano I am still wondering where Law’s crew that he brought to Onigashima went, as well as Caribou - where is that slippery bugger?

4. Basil Hawkins is probably one of my Top 5 Supernova There’s something about that dude I gravitate towards, which makes it quite frustrating when the anime decides to add extra malice and creepy faces to him. Hawkins in Wano is still a victim, if anything he is simply a prisoner with better working conditions, if he thought he could survive escaping Kaido he would but he doesn’t so he won’t, he’s also gonna feel sore about Drake betraying him and letting Law cut him up, so it annoys me that Hawkins is seen like a villain. Not only does he have an extremely interesting Devil Fruit and creativity with it but he’s also audaciously confident in his fortunetelling, even Luffy ran from Kizaru at Sabaody while Hawkins looked at his cards while Kizaru was about to boot him to holy hell and said ‘nah I’m not dying today’, you gotta respect that moxie. At the same time though as a pirate he has that shades of grey element, he’s okay with letting some of his crew be disposable and we don’t even know to what end, he doesn’t look like a guy too concerned about being Pirate King or having riches. I also get a good laugh in that his hobbies are interior design, it makes me really want to see what the inside of his ship looks like. I think as a top 5, I have Luffy, Zoro, Law, Hawkins and then Kid, Bege, Killer and Bonney are not far behind with Apoo dead last because fuck Apoo. Kid and Killer are cool but I do feel like they need a bit more character, Bege earned some points in being funny and his care for his family in WCI and then there’s Bonney - I really hope we dig into Bonney’s significance, she feels really important and that mystery keeps her fresh whenever we see her. Drake too has only really started to become interesting because of SWORD, we could still see more fleshing but for now he is like bottom 3. It’s a shame Urouge has to be so low, he’s not bad but he’s not spectacular either, gotta admire his hobby of lovemaking though, you do you Urouge.

3. I don’t think that either of the ‘Most Beautiful Women in the World’ are the Most Beautiful Women in One Piece The in-world consensus seems to be that the Most Beautiful Women in the World are Boa Hancock, Komurasaki and Shirahoshi, and granted they are very pretty, but the most? Not for me. I mean, y’all know that Nico Robin, Nami and Vinsmoke Reiju exist right? Makino as well is stunning, as are Tashigi, Bonney, Margaret, Ishilly, Nojiko, Vivi, Rebecca, Pudding, Perona, Cosette and I’m sure a few others, realistically I think they could all give them a run for their money. I get how for those three their beauty is a plot point (Boa it’s drilling home Luffy’s obliviousness to it, Komurasaki it’s the swerve of her not being awful and for Shirahoshi it’s due to Vander Decken IX pulling the creep factor on her) but it would’ve worked the same way without the ‘world’ hyperbole I think. As much as Oda is iffy with proportions and rarely writes women with as much attention as the boys he sure knows how to make them attractive.

2. Some of my favourite individual Straw Hat scenes aren’t in Canon If I were to have a top 5 moments of each character, it may surprise you that some of it comes from movies or filler episodes, particularly Sanji’s flexing on Jessica in the G8 Arc (in fact, Jonathon is one of my favourite marines, T-Bone is in there too, but I don’t have room to fit that). Some are of course obvious because of how iconic they are but it does go to show that sometimes filler isn’t all bad. Since you’re probably curious: As a Group Goodbye Merry [Enies Lobby] Entering Shiki’s Palace [Strong World] Walk to Arlong Park [Arlong Park] Entering the Grand Line [Reverse Mountain] vs a Stuck Oars [Thriller Bark] Jimbei Giving Luffy Blood [FMI] Vagabond Drill on Big Mom [WCI] Leaving the Big Mom Pirates [WCI] Returning in Wano [Wano] Trying to argue with Luffy [FMI] Brook vs Chess Soldiers & Big Mom [WCI] Flashback [Thriller Bark] Breaking Mother Carmel’s Picture [WCI] Baron Corpse vs Dog Minks [Zou] Hysterically laughing at seeing Duval [Sabaody] Franky vs Senor Pink [Dressrosa] Playing with the Kids [Punk Hazard] vs Fukurou [Enies Lobby] Freedom Roller [Wano] Trapping Caribou in the Barrel [FMI] Robin  I Want to Live [Enies Lobby] Clutching Spandam [Enies Lobby] Throwing Usopp under the bus [G8] vs Yama [Skypeia] Clutching Tequila Wolf guards [Amazon Lily] Chopper Monster Point [Enies Lobby] Flashback [Drum Island] Chopper Man (& Minoru Kazeno) vs Usobada [Chopper Man Special] Don’t blow the whistle: Immediately blows whistle [Skypeia] Dr Chopper the definitely Human Doctor not wearing fake glasses [G8] Vivi w/ Karoo (she counts okay!) Goodbye speech [Alabasta] Escaping Bon Clay [Alabasta] Karoo Digging Luffy Out [Little Garden] Luffy Fan Club Meeting [Reverie] Slapping Usopp awake [Drum Island] Nami vs Kalifa [Enies Lobby] Standing by the kids [Punk Hazard] Saying goodbye to Bell-mere [Arlong Park] Helping Luffy vs Cracker via Lola’s Vivre Card [WCI] Luffy WILL be Pirate King [Wano] Sanji ‘I needed a light’ [Skypeia] Flexing on Jessica [G8] Saving the Vinsmokes [WCI] O-Soba Mask [Wano] vs Doflamingo [Dressrosa]  Usopp Alabasta speech [Alabasta] Awakening Observation Haki [Dressrosa] Sogeking Theme Song [Enies Lobby] vs Perona [Thriller Bark] Saving Luffy from the fire [Stampede]  Zoro Nothing Happened [Thriller Bark] vs Ryuma [Thriller Bark] vs Mr. 1 [Alabasta] vs Gyukimaru & Kamazo [Wano] “He’s sweeping our floors that fiend!” Test of Luck [Loguetown] Luffy ‘On the Sea, you fight Pirates’ [Wano] Red Roc [Wano] vs Katakuri [WCI] Haki clash with Doflamingo [Dressrosa] Punching Saint Charloss [Sabaody] I will have to say that for some characters I could go to 20 so if one’s missing it may’ve just missed the mark, such as Usopp and Nami vs Enel or Luffy putting back a Zombie or Stealth Luffy, I mean it is 1000 chapters as well as movies and filler episodes/specials...

1. I’ve learned quite a lot due to One Piece Since my fascination started with a deep dive of checks, I did start to learn a hell of a lot more not just about the franchise itself (you know it’s almost catching up BATMAN on total sales, which has been around more than 3 times longer?) but I also learned a lot about stuff Oda has used as a reference key; folklore, actual pirates, actual practices, the amount of detail Oda puts in is astounding. Which does lean into another thing I’ve learned, One Piece has changed the way I approach some of my ideas for writings and whatnot, before I would be afraid of either spoonfeeding or being too vague, Oda’s mastery not only in storytelling but character development, character quality and pacing has both helped and intimidated me a lot of times, I mean consider this: it took hundreds of chapters to get a proper backstory on Luffy, the main character, how unprecedented is that? Often I could fall into the trap of making sure you knew everything about the main character from day one but now I wonder about what’s necessary for the now and what can I work on. Another thing that both inspires and intimidates me is his drawing, I suck at colours and still do, and a lot of Oda’s attention to detail is incredible considering he’s gotta whip that out on the weekly, but at the same time you see some of his rough sketches and they’re pretty similar to a rough sketch of my own, so in a way it’s a ‘there’s still hope for you’ moment seeing those. I can’t say I’ve learned Japanese from listening to One Piece, but I have picked up on some stuff, some hiragana there, some phonetics here, I also appreciated some of the stuff kaizokuou-ni-naru does (I won’t tag them in case that’s a bit rude to do it out of the blue but check out their tumblr) when it came to deciphering the Japanese of chapters and the little puns and hints Oda puts in his native tongue. And of course any One Piece fan has learned one thing above all else: Patience. Oda himself included, it took over 20 years to get to 1000 chapters and we still have plenty of questions to ask, plenty of islands to see and thus plenty of chapters to go. So Straw Hats off to you Oda, and a happy 1000th!