#also... why was the fruit question like... the hardest one for me???

[nanowatzophina]

OC Questionnaire! (Warden Edition as well)

Thanks to @dungeons-and-dragon-age for tagging me! I'm gonna do my Wardens as well since... like her, I don't wanna go on too long and... I really would go on too long if I did anything besides my wardens...

Even with just my wardens it's going to go for a while... so I apologize

This is my second time typing this all out-- so bear with me...

NAME: Rosal Surana

NICKNAME: Rose/Rosie? Not a lot of people actually use nicknames for her but those are an option.

GENDER: Female (she/they)

STAR SIGN: ((I don't know enough about Star Signs or Tarot cards so-- I'm just not going to answer these ones)

HEIGHT: Average for an elf

ORIENTATION: Biromantic Asexual

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: Ferelden! Born in Denerim to be specific but her mother was a Dalish elf.

FAVORITE FRUIT: Peaches

FAVORITE SEASON: Fall! When the air becomes crisp.

FAVORITE FLOWER: Lilies and Lilacs

FAVORITE SCENT: Floral scents remind her of her mother, Firewood, Old parchment, new books, charcoal

COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Hot Chocolate or Chai with honey

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: Depends on if she has a new book she's trying to read... But usually like... 5? 5 hours sounds right...

DOGS OR CATS: Both!

DREAM TRIP: A historical trip around different places she's read about!

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: One really thick and fuzzy one.

RANDOM FACT: She can not do healing magic to save her life and yet that won't stop her from trying. That's how she got those scars, trying to heal herself in the fight going up the Tower of Ishal but just making it scar over really badly. But hey, at least it stopped bleeding.

NAME: Lannaris Mahariel

NICKNAME: Lan or Lanna

GENDER: Female (she/her)

HEIGHT: On the shorter side for an elf which makes her pretty short compared to humans.

ORIENTATION: Gay. Lesbian. Women.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: Dalish!

FAVORITE FRUIT: Plums or Blackberries

FAVORITE SEASON: Spring or Summer (before it gets to hot)

FAVORITE FLOWER: Geranium

FAVORITE SCENT: Woodsy, right after rain,

COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Herbal tea

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 6. Schedules are important to her.

DOGS OR CATS: Cats, she's actually scared of dogs (which is why she never went to the kennel in Ostagar's camp)

DREAM TRIP: The Arbor Wilds, just to see the trees...

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: 1-2

RANDOM FACT: Her dream house would be a really cool treehouse. She'd love to live there with Leliana 3 cats and 6 nugs far away from other people... Just them and the forest.

NAME: Fen'nas Mahariel

NICKNAME: Fen!

GENDER: Male (he/they)

HEIGHT: Tall for an elf, around Morrigan's height

ORIENTATION: Bisexual

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: Dalish! Was born in the Hinterlands

FAVORITE FRUIT: Berries! Favorite is probably blueberries or raspberries.

FAVORITE SEASON: Spring! He loves the flowers

FAVORITE FLOWER: He loves them all! Though loves Honeysuckle.

FAVORITE SCENT: Floral, Cedar and stronger scented herbs like rosemary and basil.

COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Chai for sure.

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: You guys count? (probably like... 8-9, honestly he probably sleeps in a lot later than he should and stays up later than he should too)

DOGS OR CATS: Either! Doesn't have too much of opinion.

DREAM TRIP: Anywhere with Morrigan <3

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: 1

RANDOM FACT: He loves halla. He was really hoping that he'd one day get to be a caretaker for them. He loved to feed them and brush them whenever he wasn't off hunting or patrolling for the clan.

NAME: Alana Cousland

NICKNAME: Pup (her father is the only one allowed to call her that though) Rose (Alistair only)

GENDER: Female (she/her)

HEIGHT: Average?

ORIENTATION: Demi

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: Ferelden!

FAVORITE FRUIT: Oranges and Pears (not together... just... depending on her mood??? or what's in season?)

FAVORITE SEASON: Summer

FAVORITE FLOWER: Doesn't think much of flowers, honestly.

FAVORITE SCENT: Stables and gardens. Which I guess is to say manure but that doesn't sound like a good scent even though that's what it is... Earthy smells like that.

COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Coffee... with a lot of sugar and cream.

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 6

DOGS OR CATS: Dogs. 100% Man's best friend.

DREAM TRIP: Adventure off somewhere, anywhere. It doesn't matter... just away from Ferelden.

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: 3-4

RANDOM FACT: She would actively scare away suitors, much to her Mother's chagrin... She would be purposefully blunt and rude in social situations and tease people relentlessly until they left her alone. She used to see being married off as the most torturous future possible. She also dislikes dresses. And probably wears pants around the castle to everyone's horror.

NAME: Solan Aeducan

NICKNAME: Sol, Nug

GENDER: Female (they/she)

HEIGHT: Short? Considering she's a dwarf? But probably a normal height for them.

ORIENTATION: LESBIAN.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: Orzammarian

FAVORITE FRUIT: Strawberries

FAVORITE SEASON: Any of them but Winter. She HATES the cold.

FAVORITE FLOWER: Orchid, though she's come to love most flowers, she didn't know there was quite so many of them just growing everywhere you looked.

FAVORITE SCENT: Steel, Fire, the smell of home, but also the smell of a clear night, and the expensive perfumes Leliana wears

COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Coffee. Black.

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 5 but she doesn't need that much.

DOGS OR CATS: Dogs

DREAM TRIP: The Deep Roads, she always dreamed of going deep and finding a new Thaig, finding long forgotten treasures and gold and being an adventurer finding lost places down in the deep.

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: All of them. Why is it so sodding cold on the surface??

RANDOM FACT: She loves the stars. It took a little bit to adjust but the stars were likely the first things she found truly beautiful about the surface after being cast out of her home. She loves finding constellations and learning the stories of them. She feels more connected to them than she ever did the Stone, though she would never admit it... except to Leli

NAME: Iris Tabris

NICKNAME: Petal, Little Flower

GENDER: Female (she/her) ((look at all this variety I have right?))

HEIGHT: Tall for an elf, average for a human

ORIENTATION: Asexual

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: Ferelden Alienage elf!

FAVORITE FRUIT: Grapes, sweet ones

FAVORITE SEASON: Spring

FAVORITE FLOWER: Iris, it was her mother's favorite, which is why she was named after it.

FAVORITE SCENT: Floral scents, smell of fresh baked bread, cinnamon

COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Hot Chocolate with lots of whipped cream

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 7-8. Sleep is important.

DOGS OR CATS: Cats, generally dislikes dogs though her mabari hound is a very strong exception.

DREAM TRIP: To big cities in other countries, like in Orlais or Antiva... She would love to see what their architecture looks like.

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: 1, but only if it's very soft.

RANDOM FACT: Iris is really sensitive to textures and physical touch. It makes finding outfits a little difficult for her, considering Ferelden (probably) doesn't have a lot of great options in the way of textures, but because of that she got pretty good at making alterations to outfits. She is generally touch averse, though with permission, which Alistair is sure to always ask for, she's usually fine.

-----

blank meme:

NAME:

NICKNAME:

GENDER:

STAR SIGN: 

HEIGHT:

ORIENTATION:

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY:

FAVORITE FRUIT:

FAVORITE SEASON:

FAVORITE FLOWER:

FAVORITE SCENT:

COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE:

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP:

DOGS OR CATS:

DREAM TRIP:

NUMBER OF BLANKETS:

RANDOM FACT:

[lockes-woods]

Kinktober '24 Day 3

Request: Hmmm how about dom Nico Robin x sub afab reader? Over stimulation, toys, bondage, praise kink and body worship. (Jealous robin fucks reader in front of Sanji)

Requested by: @nocturnalrorobin / Author's Choice

WARNINGS: Warnings: Exhibition, Mistress kink, fingering, strap-ons, nipple clamps, improper use of devil fruit powers, jealousy, bondage, sex toys, questionable consent

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You bit your lip to contain a gasp, as Robin sprouted an arm from the floor right below your chair and began stroking your inner thigh. You tried your hardest to regulate your breath and continue to eat your breakfast, hoping none of your fellow crew mates would notice. You cursed internally as she made her way closer and closer to your core.

“What about you?” Nami asked, snapping you out of your sole focus on the hand between your legs.

“Sorry, I’m a little out of it; what was the question?” You asked with a smile.

“Since we’re docking this afternoon, we’re talking about who’s going to stay behind on the ship.” Usopp answered, “So far only Robin’s volunteered.”

You pushed around your food for a moment before answering, attempting to contain your excitement at the prospect of being alone with Robin. While initially you were just crew mates with benefits, things had bloomed into a genuine loving relationship. You’d only been part of the crew for the last six months; in four of those months, you and Robin had become an item. So far only Chopper and Nami knew. You weren’t ashamed of it by any means, it just felt nice to have something for yourselves.

“I don’t mind staying,” you answered as casually as possible. Despite your efforts, Nami gave you a knowing glance, a smirk forming on her lips.

“I-I actually might stay as well.” Sanji rushed out.

“Huh, didn’t you just finish saying that you’d be Intown to work on the food restock?” Usopp questioned.

“Um, actually, I think it’d be best for me to stay and double-check our inventory. Just to make sure it’s accurate and I’m not overspending. I can always put in the order tomorrow.” He blurted out before taking a sip of his water, glancing at you in passing over the rim. You tried your best to keep your face neutral in your disappointment. You just wanted some alone time with your partner, was that too much to ask for? It also didn’t help that it was Sanji, Robin had been pretty short with him recently. You didn’t get why. While he was super nice to you since you joined, he’d only ever playfully flirted with you in a way you deemed harmless. You rationalized it as such because he gave Nami the same attention and she was an out lesbian.

On the bright side, Nami wouldn’t be in the women’s quarters tonight, meaning you and Robin could be as loud as you like. Well, you were always loud; you couldn’t remember the last time Robin didn’t have to manifest an arm next to your head when you came so that its hand could muffle your cries. You could feel your face begin to warm as you remembered the sex toys she had bought when you were last docked. It was a mixture of ropes, vibrators, nipple clamps, and a new vibrating dildo for her strap-on. The dildo was different because it had a backside that would be in Robin when she fucked you.

“Alright it’s settled then,” Luffy called out in his normal joy-filled voice, turning to look at you, “You, Sanji, and Robin will stay here, while the rest of us explore the island.”

You couldn’t help but smile back in return. Luffy always brought a smile to your face. That only ever added to your confusion over why Robin was always so quick to anger with Sanji, but never Luffy. The two of you were way closer and touchier with each other than you had ever been with the cook. You bit your lip to contain your emotions as the hand pinched your thigh mere centimeters from where you wanted it most. Robin’s hand stayed perched on your upper thigh until you were done with breakfast. You helped Usopp and Sanji clear the dishes. The hand gone from between your legs as quickly as it came. You thanked Sanji as you always did for another sustaining meal before you wandered to the cartography room/library to work for a bit. You and Nami shared the space. In your addition there were now two bookshelves with relevant texts; with cages built in to prevent the books from falling. You were the crew’s chronicler. While you were new, you had already worked on gaining all the history of the crew before your time and now focused on what was to come.

Outside of your fighting abilities, you were also a great conversationalist and listener which made interviewing each member of the straw hats of their memories easy. Your position is actually the reason you and Robin hit it off. You spent long hours talking in the crow’s nest at night about not only her life but your own, which is a rarity for someone in your position. When you confessed your feelings to one another four months ago she said she had never felt so safe and heard, by anyone else. While in turn, you confessed how you could never not be in awe of her intelligence and strength.

“Darling,” Robin said softly, attempting to not sneak up on you. It was only half effective as you still jumped slightly, your train of thought ripped out of your mind by the beauty leaning against the nearest bookshelf.

“Ye-yes,” you answered, clearing your throat. She smiled down at you, amused. She often remarked on how endearing it was that you still got nervous under her attention.

“I was wondering if you’d like to join me for a bath later? And then I was thinking we could read for a bit before I tuck you in.”

‘tuck you in’ was her subtle code for fucking you til you were so far gone you couldn’t even put yourself to bed.

“I’d love to miss.” You answer, a desperate look already carving into your face causing Robin to smirk.

“Good,” she said leaning down to peck your lips.

“Wait, what about Sanji?” you asked, as she pulled away.

“What about him?” She asked, with a slight tilt of her head and ever so slight furrowing of her brows. She only ever made that face when she was irritated.

“W-Well we have to pass the male quarters from the bathroom to our room.” You started, “Plus what if he hears us? The ship is docked and deserted so there’ll be no sound coverage.”

Robin hummed for a moment before easing your pen from your hand and grabbing a scrap piece of map paper Nami had trashed. She leaned down for a moment writing something down that you missed; definitely from her arm being in the way and not at all because you could see down her shirt perfectly from where you sat.

“Don’t worry about the cook, I’ll take care of him.” She answered, folding up the paper she had just written on.

“Okay, b-but be nice please.” You said as she raised to her full height. She hummed once again.

“Oh, my sweet little flower. What will I ever do with your big heart?” she asked rhetorically, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“What are you going to do?” you asked, as she stood up once again to make her way out, back to the deck.

“Nothing bad, just a quick reminder who is and isn’t allowed to drink your nectar.” She answered vaguely, giving you a coy smile, before leaving.  

You sat still for a moment questioning if she’d actually ever do something to harm Sanji. If she did someone would stop her right? Right? You tried to rationalize. You turned back to your book to check over any discrepancies and the flow of what you had already completed. While you were calm in your practice the possibility of a fight between Sanji and Robin ate at the back of your mind.

You loss track of time as you almost always did when working. You sat straight up from your hunched position as one of Robin’s arms caressed your side before cupping your breast. You let out a stuttered breath as the hand reached for the hem of your shirt. You moved to stand, the arm staying solitaire for a second before disappearing. You quickly sealed up the ink and rebound your book before you unlocked the cage and placed it in for safekeeping. You were surprised to find that the sun was setting. Have you really been in the study that long? You shook your head and stretched lightly before heading in the direction of the baths. You were delighted to find that Robin had not only set up a hot bath but also had some snacks and your favorite drink. She greeted you with a chaste kiss, before lightly grabbing your hand in hers and leading you over to the area where you rinse off before the bath. She made quick work of your clothing, an extra hand here and there, before undoing the knot keeping her robe together. You couldn’t help but gaze lovingly at her as her full form came into view.

She caught you by the bicep as you started to go down on your knees for her. Both of you love any time you spent between her thighs.

“Miss-” you began before she gently shushed you.

“It’s alright darling, I want tonight to be about you. You’ve been such a good girl lately and working overtime to represent the crew as they are past the surface level. Will you be kind enough to let me show you how much I appreciate you?”

“Yes, Mistress,” you answered breathlessly,

“And your color?” she asked stroking your jaw, looking down at you lovingly.

“Green, Mistress,”

“And your safe word?” she inquired; despite the countless times you’ve been together.

“Marines,” you answered, beginning to get antsy.

“Good girl, now why don’t you take a seat and let me prepare you for all that you deserve.” She prompted you.

You dropped down to the short stool as Robin did next to you. Your face felt like it was on fire as she took her time washing and rinsing you from head to toe; occasionally sneaking a bite or two of the snacks she supplied. When she was done, she easily picked you up like a bride, extra arms sprouting from her body to better distribute your weight. She took a slow step into the hot water, before sitting down and taking you down with her. She gently positioned you between her long legs. Her real arm gently pressed down on your stomach so that you would fully recline against her. You couldn’t help but let out a content sigh as you laid back in your lover’s embrace.

“Thank you, Mistress,” you said turning your head to peck her on the lips. She caught your jaw as you pulled back to garner your focus.

“I would pace yourself, love, the night is still young, and I have plans for you.” She said a small coy smile spreading across her lips. She pulled you into a kiss again, this time more desperate. The hot water loosens your taught muscles from days of hard work. You gasped into the kiss Robin was dominating as you felt a set of hands gliding up and down the sides of your body. You full-on whined as the hands lightly cupped your chest, softly caressing them, before they began to work at your sensitive nipples. You pulled back and rested your forehead against hers. Your unabashed moans echoed through the room as another set of arms sprouted between your legs. The pair between your legs started by simply rubbing up and down your inner thigh, before stroking your slit, to finally breaching your lips. One hand eased into your opening while the other gave light touches and pets to your clit. You almost snapped your thighs closed out of habit; before you were able Robin hooked her legs around yours forcing you to open wide.

“Fuck, Mistress,” you moaned, hips humping forward to chase after her fingers before another hand held your hips down firmly. At this point, you had lost track of how many arms had sprouted around you. You threw your head back against her shoulder overwhelmed by the feeling of your love cocooning around you.

“Fuck, Mistress I’m gonna-I’m gonna” you panted having a hard time completing your thought.

“Go ahead darling, tonight you can cum as many times as you like.” She encouraged, speeding up her fingers filling your tight cunt. You came with a shout rather than a moan, thighs trembling against hers as your first orgasm of the night shot through you like a bullet. She continued fingering you through your orgasm to the point right before overstimulation. You fell slack against your lover, arms gone, now only surrounded by her real arms as they embraced you, gently rubbing up and down your back soothingly. You sat sideways so that you could rest your head against her chest; the steady rhythm of her beating heart bringing you back to reality.

“Ready for bed?” she asked, as the water cooled around you.

“Yes, Mistress,” you answered, face tucked into her neck. She let out a chuckle as she slowly removed you from her chest and eased you out of the bathtub. You sat, sipping on your favorite drink as your lover slid her forgotten robe back on. She had already lovingly patted you dry, spreading kisses around your body as she went.

“Ready love?” she asked going to pick you up again.

“M-mistress, I can walk.” You said, on the off-chance, Sanji did see you.

“Do you not want Mistress to carry you?” she prompted, bending down so you were eye to eye,

“Well, no, but what if San-” She cut you off before you could even finish his name.

“Darling that’s the last time I’d like you to say his name, at least for tonight,” she started in a serious tone, “Now may I carry you back to our room?”

“Yes, Mistress,” you answer with a nod. You placed the drink aside before she gathered you in her arms and made way back to your shared cabin. Your eyes widened as you took in the setup. On a table, she had cleared and set up next to your shared bed were now holding her strap-on, ropes, nipple clamps, and vibrators. Robin smirked down at your reaction. Along with the table, your bed had been moved so that the foot now faced the entrance to your cabin.

“New interior design?” you joked,

“Oh, it serves a purpose, don’t worry about it, love.” Robin brushed off, laying you down so that your head was facing the door.

“I’m going to bind you now is that okay, flower?” Robin asked, picking up the rope.

“Yes, Mistress,” you answer, breathlessly.

“Good girl,” Robin praised, pecking you on your lips before going to tie your limbs to each post of your shared bed. Once she was done she straddled you now holding a ridged vibrator. She pulled you into a deep loving kiss before dragging the vibrator up and down your sternum, before moving onto your nipples. You whined into the kiss, trying to lean into the stimulation, but not being able to quite reach in your restraints. You were too distracted by the kiss you didn’t realize how low she had dragged it until it buzzed against your clit, causing you to hump forward and struggle against your bindings.

“Mistress,” you whined, as she playfully ran it up and down your slit.

“Yes, darling?” she asked, amused.

“Please,” You begged looking up at her through your eyelashes. It was a dirty move; you knew how weak she was to your puppy dog eyes.

“Oh? Already desperate enough to pull that look,” She laughed, turning up the frequency, and placing it against your clit before pulling it back suddenly.

You whined in response.

“Hmm you have been a good girl lately,” she started, putting the vibrator back against your clit, “but you have been humoring that boy again,” she finished, pulling it away again.

You let out another whine, getting desperate.

“Please Mistress please,” you start wiggling against your restraints, “I’ll be a good girl, I promise, please let me cum.” You begged.

“Promise you won’t let him flirt with you again,” she said seriously

“I promise, I promise,” you answered hysterically, as she finally pushed it in. You let out a pornographic moan head snapping back, immediately cumming hard after the inadvertent edging. She left it in well past your initial orgasm as you trembled against the overstimulation. It didn’t help with the feeling overwhelmed when you suddenly felt two, boarding on painful, pinches to your nipples. You looked up at her with glassy eyes, silently begging for her to remove it. She pecked your forehead running her hand down your throat, past your clavicle, before she gave the clamps a light tug. You moaned desperately as she continued to trail her fingers down to your cunt. She located and removed the vibrator with ease, placing it to the side as she pulled back and rolled off the bed.

You moaned at the sight of the mess of slick she left on your lower abdomen.

“Color?” she asked as she grabbed and began to pull on the strap-on.

“Fuck, green, please Mistress I want you inside,” you begged, for your lover’s attention. You didn’t care how overstimulated you felt, there was nothing more satisfying to you than sharing an orgasm with your partner. You couldn’t look away as she crawled up the bed, nudging your knees apart before settling between your thighs.

“Well, I guess we don’t need any lube this time do we darling?” Robin points out smirking down at you as she collects your slick by rubbing the dildo up and down your seem.

“No, we don’t Mistress,” you agreed breathlessly, too tired to be able to handle any further discipline from not responding.

“Ready?” she asked hovering over your mouth, her jet-black hair forming a curtain around your face.

“Yes,” you nodded, helpless against her will.

“Yes?” she asked

“Yes, Mistr-eeess” you stumble as she thrusted in without warning.

“Fuck,” you shouted as the vibrator turned on, and her speed gained up. It quickly became too much to handle as you fell back writhing against the restraints. You couldn’t help, but keep your eyes shut as pleasure pulsed through you. You heard a faint thump behind you, before you got the chance to look Robin was forcefully kissing you as you fell apart on her member. Both of you called out each other’s names as you came. Robin slumped against you after turning off the vibrating feature. You pressed a kiss to her forehead allowing her all the time she needed to recover. After a moment she was up untying you and applied cooling gel to the rope burns on your wrist. There were only two spots of irritated skin. But for Robin it was two too many as she promptly threw out the ropes. She then wiped you down the best she could with baby wipes; no running water in your room. She pulled you into a sweet kiss, before joining you back in bed, cocooning around you.

“Robin?” you asked sleepily.

“Yes baby?” she replied,

“Did you hear something before we came, the last time?” you asked slowly forming your thoughts as you went.

“I can’t say I did baby,” she answered, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Kay” you responded, snuggling closer into her chest. You let out a content sigh as you allowed sleep to take you.

What you had heard but not seen was Sanji entering the women’s quarters at the time dictated to him on a note he presumed you left him. He stood shocked for a moment at your naked form struggling against your restraints as Robin mercilessly fucked you. He made brief eye contact with your lover’s smirking face, before promptly passing out from a nosebleed. As quietly and quickly as she could she formed arms to pull Sanji out of your room and back out to the hallway. Leaving you none the wiser.  

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MASTERLIST

A/N: This fic kinda got away from me lol. It ended up being so long cuz I added another layer on top of the initial request. Anyway, I hope you like it ^-^ stay tuned for Shanks x FTM! Reader tomorrow.

[acewithapaintbrush]

This is now on Ao3 we well

Shanks has been acting weird ever since he ate that stupid fruit. 

"Are you angry with me?" Luffy asks one day when Shanks once again looks at him 'that way' and the stupid, sticky feeling in his chest just won't go away. 

The pirate blinks and takes a sip of his beer before he answers. The sticky feeling grows bigger. "How is your picture coming along?" 

Luffy scrunches up his nose so his tears won't fall. That's what Makino does when she doesn't want to answer his questions. Ask a question herself so he forgets what he was asking in the first place. But Luffy is smarter now, a big boy, and this is important. He pointedly puts the pencil down and doesn't forget. 

"Is Shanks angry with me 'cause I ate the stupid fruit?" 

Maybe he wasn't so successful about the tears because Shanks lowers his tankard and he gets this serious look on his face, the one he gets when he tells Luffy that the sea is a dangerous place and that he's not ready yet (he is he is he is). 

"No Luffy, I'm not angry." He sighs and seems to look through the little boy for a moment and mumbles under his breath. "A little worried, maybe." 

But Luffy has good ears. "Why?" 

Shanks jolts as if he didn't expect to have been heard. After a second of indecision he grins and ruffles dark hair. "Worried you are gonna eat the hair off of our heads! Why would you eat a fruit anyway? I thought you only liked meat?" 

Luffy shoves his hand away with a huff. He likes it when Shanks ruffles his hair, but he can't let the captain know that 'cause it's just another sign that he's still a little kid.

"I do! But the fruit told me to!" 

Luffy is too busy smoothing down his hair to notice Shanks grow absolutely still beside him. The whole crew, who has had one ear on their conversation this whole time, freezes. Tankards pause midair, conversations break off abruptly, chewing stops. An unnatural quiet falls over the bar. 

Shanks takes a deep breath. He runs a hand over his mouth, tries to gather enough spit to speak. 

"The fruit told you?" he asks, careful, casual. He needn't have bothered. Luffy is already bent over his paper again, drawing himself as a member of Shanks crew, completely oblivious to the tension in the air. 

(the picture will leave the port with Shanks weeks later and he will treasure it for the rest of his life but it will also always remind him of this moment, the moment he finally gets it, the moment it all falls into place, the missing puzzle piece he didn't even know he was missing) 

"Uh huh! The box made a sound, like bump bump bump and when I looked inside the fruit told me to take a bite, told me it would be fun, we would have lots of fun together. But it wasn't fun, it tasted bad." He sticks out his tongue and makes a face. "Super bad. But I guess rubber power is kinda fun. So I'll forgive the stupid fruit for tasting bad." 

Shanks is trying his hardest to breathe. He can feel Beck come up behind him, can feel him put a hand on his shoulder. The hand is shaking. "Kid, what-" 

"It was dark in that box." Luffy says. He sounds absent, his voice flat and distracted. His red pencil moves over the paper in a slow, meticulous manner, as if on auto pilot. Shanks can't shake the feeling that they aren't really talking to Luffy anymore. Or at least not only Luffy. 

"It was dark and you can't be free in the dark, you can't bring freedom in the dark. You need a light. You need the sun. There is a lot of sun on the seas, even in dark places. So we are gonna sail the seas and be free. And we're gonna have so much fun." 

Beck is crushing his shoulder, the whole crew is holding its breath. This feels like something sacred, like a moment in time that will never come again, a conversation that could change your whole life.

Roger would know what to say. 

Roger would laugh and know exactly what to say. 

Shanks feels like crying. He has no idea what to say.

"I-" 

The tip of the red pencil breaks off and Luffy flinches the slightest bit. He blinks at the paper as if he's seeing it for the first time before he grins and holds it up for Shanks and the others to see. 

"It's done! Do you like it?" 

Shanks isn't really looking at the drawing. All he sees is that boy and that grin and those eyes, bright and alive. 

"Joyboy." 

Luffy tilts his head. "What?" 

Shanks puts a hand over his heart and tells it to stop beating so hard, tells his voice to stop shaking. "You are truly a joy, my boy." 

It's a weird thing to say, nothing he's ever told Luffy before. But the kid beams and leans forwards as if Shanks has just offered him the world on a silver platter. 

(You have, haven't you? The world in a box.) 

"Does that mean you'll take me with you?" 

Shanks laughs and it sounds normal, it sounds familiar again. He pokes a small forehead and grins. 

"Nope. You are not ready yet." 

'But you will be,' he thinks as Luffy pouts and the rest of the crew tease him. 'One day you will be ready. And just maybe the rest of the world will be ready for you as well.' 

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

no worries at all, i've never been asked that actually! i really apologize for how long this took to answer because i was thinking so long and hard about characters in media that have touched my heart in different ways.

but in no particular order my top 10 favorite characters are

honda tohru

haruno sakura

narancia ghirga

rengoku kyojuro

bakugou katsuki

iwakura mitsumi

yamada asaemon tenza

nijimura okuyasu

furina

sokka

+ 2 bonuses for fun

the protagonist of fruits basket, my girl tohru. my fellow clumsy queen. if i were going to list down 4 characters i related to the most in animanga, tohru would be one of them. maybe it won't be too much of a surprise she's on this list because one of my highest ranking posts is literally a deep dive into tohru as a character. shameless self promo read here, but this would definitely explain all the reasons i love her so much. but the amount of love this character exudes despite all the painful things she's been through, how i relate to how she tries her hardest to present herself as bubbly to hide her loneliness from even herself, there's just so much i can't help but love about this character.

sakura is one of my girls from now until forever. she's the reason i love cherry blossoms so much. if i had to pick only one character from naruto to call my favorite, it would go to sakura hands down, no questions asked. i'm a first generation sakura fan (lmao is that a thing?) where i liked her from her very introduction to naruto. i loved her pink hair, her green eyes, how she carried herself and you will always see me in the trenches defending sakura as a character and what she supplied to the naruto series. maybe it's because i also related so much to sakura growing up and growing up with the character as well, so there's a lot for me to love here.

narancia is honestly one of the most beautiful characters in jojo for me and i'm not just talking about aesthetics. off rip he comes off as a dumb, violent gangster when in actuality, in spite of the more obvious aspects of his characters, there is a strange purity to narancia. in his loyalty, in his straightforwardness to even how his stand ability manifests as a toy army plane. the implications of the child soldier narancia very much became, his efficiency in being able to kill while very much so still being that kid whose biggest fear than anything was being alone. narancia truly believed he was going to die alone in that alley. his death in jojo is honestly still to this day, one of the hardest hitting. because it was so brutal and unexpected and in a lot of ways so unfair even if the rationality as to why he was targeted made sense (i've talked a number of times with my mom who has seen jojo about how all of the characters who die in pt 5 are core members of the 'heart' of the bucci gang, narancia ofc being one of them). in that moment, everyone cried for him whereas prior he was the one who cried on behalf of the party for the loss of abbacchio.

rengoku lwk just might be everyone's fav in demon slayer but i don't care, same here. his owlish design, his vibrant energy, the conviction to stay behind his principles and even die by said principles? i can't not admire the guy and how despite his short appearance in the story, you still feel the ripple effect of it throughout the story. sasori, maybe deidara had a point when he said true beauty is fleeting and an explosion.

katsuki honestly stole the whole show of bnha for me. hell i was out here enjoying him even when he was just an irredeemable bully because i could see early on the complexity of the character and was honestly curious to see where such a belligerent personality came from. how he's reflected on himself throughout the story, becomes better than the person he was the day before, all of that is really admirable to me. it's lwk honestly gets to a point where if katsuki isn't the focus of an arc or episode, i lose interest. show me the explosion boy please. i also feel like even with the great aspect of the character, there's a lot of disservice towards him regards to how the way his parents treat him is swept under the rug, the way they completely brush over the fact they muzzled and chained him on live television due to his refusal to accept an award and presented a strong student as mentally unstable to the masses (something that led to his very kidnapping, mind you). but my gripes with those things honestly make me love this guy even more than i already do.

mitsumi from skip & loafer is another relatable character for me. from the older trans woman figure in her life (one of my moms) to the clumsiness. like mitsumi, i too am always falling over and because of that i've gotten good at picking myself up. characters like mitsumi, you can't help wanting to follow the model of. i love her straightforwardness, her open-mindedness and appreciate how she views life and those around her. i can only hope to be more like her, among some other characters i love, in my daily life. i love how it doesn't really matter who someone is in relation to her or someone else she knows, she makes her own fair assessments of that person and judges based off her experiences with that person.

tenza is the best character in hell's paradise. argue with a wall i can't be argued against here. damn did we lose when his fine ass got axed early in the storyline. i deadass almost stopped reading hell's paradise after chapter 21 because i was that upset about his death. i'm a sucker for a character who dies saving the rest of the group, and the way he went out in a blaze of glory. already dying, already bleeding out but still deciding he'd spin his last few minutes of life buying time for his comrades. his final thoughts wondering what his life could have been like if he weren't dying in that moment. the students he could have had. the wife he could have had. the visceral reaction i had seeing his body get tossed over like he was nothing but garbage? still feel that. he's another example of a character who didn't have long to shine in the story in terms of number of appearances but the way you feel his presence in the story after his death? how it fuels shion and nurugai's quest for vengeance. how that vengeance almost very well destroyed one of them. how tenza in spirit gave nurugai the will to save shion's life. i really, really loved it. it was such a subversion of expectations seeing the pupil die rather than that master.

okuyasu is definitely my favorite character in diamond is unbreakable. he comes off as just comic relief, which to be fair, okuyasu is very funny. however comma, there's so much to depth to the character that you really appreciate as the story goes on. he's a follower by nature, you can see that from the very first episode you meet him where he follows his brother's orders. that once keicho died, he immediately found someone new to follow in josuke, our jojo for the part. but you see him slowly starting to take those steps towards becoming someone who doesn't just follow, but leads. someone capable of deciding for himself what he wants to do. especially after his brother dies and he becomes a caretaker for himself and his father. how he wants to put large windfalls of money into his savings. how he is able to work around his intellectual shortcomings with his strengths. okuyasu is dumb but he isn't an idiot. he is actually quite astute in a lot of ways one doesn't expect and that he doesn't give himself credit for. so all of this made his grand decision not to follow his brother into the afterlife so satisfying.

oh how i loved furina from day fucking 1. from the moment her design got leaked i knew where my primogems were going. when she entered the story officially? i was even more in love just due to how different she was as an archon. i could understand why she wasn't for everybody but she was everything for me and that's all that mattered. then we get the level 4 tragic backstory, her 500 year long opera where she alone is on the stage? it wasn't enough just to pull for furina, furina deserved everything my account had to offer. her story quest really made me want to shove paimon and the traveler into a blender but regardless, this character has my whole heart and i will eat up any content that pertains to her as i fucking should. she deserves my everything.

sokka. absolutely sokka. seeing sokka finally get his fucking flowers during the atla revival during 2020 brought so much joy to my soul. i've loved sokka since back when atla was still airing on tv. he has been my favorite and honestly i think some of my humor and sarcasm of today relates all the way back to the guy with boomerang. i got both of my moms into atla and it really made me happy to see the guy they initially saw as the dumb funny one in the group when they just glanced at the tv when i was watching it, is actually arguably the smartest on the team and a literal genius who grew into the man he wanted to become since episode 1. that he was actually the most logical member of the team and the most practical when it came to their long term goals. he was humbled and realized his misogyny was an incorrect way of thinking, he learned from his mistakes an even with his insecurities about where he stood on the team, he never let that get him down for long.

+ 2

ojamajo doremi is coming back, so i gotta mention my two of my fav girls from the series that i relate to the most. first up, harukaze doremi or i'm doing myself a disservice. doremi is a character that has a lot of shortcomings from her clumsiness to her . and i relate a lot to her because of that. whenever i learn something new, i'm never the best at it. especially handicrafts and seeing others around me being good at those things definitely sucked. so seeing a character like that was great for me at that age. but one thing that is just so great about this girl is, to quote caribou-kun on youtube (please watch his video essay on ojamajo doremi on youtube) "she is the greatest friend in the entire world". and i don't say that lightly, she's like the tohru honda of majou shoujo. she would literally take off her shirt and give it to someone to throw up in if they needed it. the way she can connect to people. how she supports them when they most need it even if she doesn't know what is the right thing to say or even if it is at the cost of her own feelings. when i say i want to be a good friend to someone, doremi is one of the faces i picture.

and finally, senoo aiko. she was my favorite favorite of the ojamajos growing up. initially because, well, she was the blue one and blue has been my favorite color since before i can honestly remember. because damn did certain parts of her character also really relate to me. divorced parents (although in my case, they got divorced when i was very young and have been that way since my earliest memories) and doing your best to handle that situation even if you want your parents to get back together. my parents never got back together like aiko's but honestly, she i was happy to see that old dream of mine be realized through her. she has had to be the prince for herself and others in her life for most of her life, and when you finally get to see the moment she can just be the princess is wonderful.

there are other characters i haven't mentioned due to the limitations of just 10 characters but these are some characters that immediately come to mind for some major favs.

[soulnb42]

Senses and Sensibility

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything but those poor words.

Summary: Just a round of twenty questions in a lazy afternoon.

Hey everyone, first of all thank you so much for the notes and kind words over the previous parts of this trilogy, you’re awesome!

Here’s part three, much like part two it can stand alone, but I really think it’ll be more enjoyable if you have read part one and two first (you know, for the built up and all).

It’s an Avatrice story, so if it ain’t your thing, don’t read.

Enjoy,

AO3

--------------------------------------

Ava’s heavy sigh echoed in the small apartment. It was a warm, lazy afternoon; usually she’d enjoy reading but she couldn’t really focus on her book, her mind was just restless.

“Bea?”

She called softly; putting her book on the nightstand, she then turned on her side so she could face Beatrice.

Beatrice was lying on her side, her head resting on the palm of her hand. It was nap time since they would be working the night shift today. Ava knew she should let her rest but she felt a bit hyper right now.

Beatrice had put her through the ringer during their training session all morning. Ava should be worn out but instead she was barely tired, courtesy of the halo.

“Hmm?” came the reply with a small delay.

Ava watched Beatrice dozing off and grinned softly because there was something immensely sweet about an unguarded Beatrice.

“What’s your favourite colour?” she finally asked the first question her mind latched on.

There was no response. Beatrice’s eyes were closed, her breathing soft and even. Ava guessed she had gone back to her slumber, yet another sign that she was exhausted. Oh well, Ava was fine with watching her sleep, observing Beatrice had become one of her favourite hobbies.

There was a soft intake of breath after almost two minutes. “Prussian blue,” Beatrice answered with a sleep-tinged voice. “…It’s a shade darker than royal and navy, I think…” another long pause. “It feels strong, and intense… I like it,” Beatrice continued, still half drifting in and out of sleep. “What about you?”

A grin spread wide onto Ava’s lips. She liked the fact that Beatrice never questioned where her mind went or why. No matter how random and odd the topic, Beatrice always indulged her and followed her train of thoughts as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Ava gave the question a thought. “I don’t know if I have a favourite,” she pouted pensively. “I like shades of blue-green like teal, ocean blue… or lagoon… I also like purple… and I like shades of green like kiwi and jade.” Her mind started reeling with its own colour wheel. “Oh! I like seashell, it’s kind of a pinkish orange… and melon, I like melon!”

The list didn’t stop there, Ava found herself mentioning at least thirty other hues. Beatrice chortled quietly. “So, basically, you like every colour.”

Ava was about to agree but then frowned. “Actually… I don’t know about yellow; I have a weird vibe when it comes to yellow,” she mused.

Beatrice slowly blinked her eyes open, giving up on her nap. “Weird? How so?”

“I don’t know… it’s neither cool nor warm… it… it…” Ava struggled to find her words. “…I don’t know… it just doesn’t speak to me. I mean, I don’t hate it, but I’m not sure I like it either.”

Beatrice tried to figured her own opinion regarding the colour. “Now that you mention it, I get the point. I think it can be good to look at, but I don’t think I’d like wearing it.”

She watched Ava’s face lit up suddenly with that glint indicating that she just remembered some interesting fact about the topic at hand. “Did you know that it’s said to be one of the hardest colours to work with?”

“Really?” Beatrice felt her eyebrows rise in surprise.

“Yep, I read it in an art theory book, can’t remember which, anyway… painters would do bowls of yellow fruits to show off their skills because it is one of the most difficult shades to paint with,” Ava explained. She barely took a breath before continuing.

“Fun fact, if they’d paint a peeled yellow fruit, the peel would actually be longer than it should be just so they could… flex on other painters, so to speak. I had never noticed it but upon reading about it, I’ve looked at some paintings from the 17th century and I can confirm that it is true,” Ava smirked.

Ava’s mind never failed to amaze Beatrice. She never knew where it’d take her, but it was always surprising. It could be light, or silly (or truly dumb) reflexions at times and the next they could dive into the depth of existentialism, knowledge and philosophy. One thing for sure, it was always an entertaining ride.

“Okay, flying or breathing under water?”

Beatrice rubbed at her eyes lazily to get rid of the last cobwebs. Ava was on a roll now, and apparently, they were in for a fresh round of twenty questions.

Beatrice had never been one to confide in others, too afraid to reveal her flaws, to be reminded how ‘abnormal’ she was. That was a pain she couldn’t bear to face again, so she had learnt to keep things to herself.

She was a good confidant, though. Somehow, it was easier to carry the others’ secrets than her own. Yet with Ava, things were different. She did confide in Ava, she did talk about her past, in fact she couldn’t remember a single time she had denied Ava an answer to any of the question she’d ever ask.

It occurred to Beatrice that they shared easily with one another. There was something about Ava that made her reach out and made her want to lower her walls a bit. Perhaps, part of it was a product of her protective instinct. While she hadn’t been exactly thrilled at Ava’s arrival in their row, she had wanted her to feel, if not welcome at the very least accepted. It hadn’t taken long for her to see beyond Ava’s constant goofiness.

Ava joked around all the time, but it was nothing more than a defence mechanism. From what she knew about Ava’s past, finding the funny in anything was what had kept her going for all the decade she had spent at the orphanage. It all made sense once she thought about it. Ava had had nothing; her wits, her humour, her emotions, those were among the very few things she had had control over.

Beatrice had paid attention and she had seen past that seemingly inability to take anything seriously. Ava was sensible and sensitive, observant and smart, soft and caring, generous and strong, oh so strong.

“What’s your favourite sense?”

The question brought Beatrice back from her reflexions. “Uh… that’s a very good question,” she frowned. “And a tough one at that… I don’t know actually, I’ll have to give a thought. What about you?”

Ava stared at her for a moment with an intensity that almost made her feel uncomfortable, then she smiled as if she held the secret of the world.

“I don’t have one. I love them all.”

Beatrice chuckled. “Of course, you do.”

She’d always found it endearing how Ava apprehended the world with open arms and mind, how she just appreciated everything and took everything in like a wonder.

“Yes, I do,” Ava confirmed.

It was true, Ava loved all her senses. She had spent over a decade experiencing the world through tv and books, in a grey room where colours barely changed with the seasons. After coming back to life everything was heightened to the point of constant sensory overload. Maybe it was a side effect of the halo, or maybe it was just the stark contrast of going from barely feeling anything to feeling everything, whatever the case every single day she was grateful to feel, simply feel the world through her senses.

Beatrice made that sensory overload tenfold, in the best possible way. Ava didn’t know when or how it came to be; it was just a fact. She had that epiphany a while ago.

“And with good reasons too,” she added with a smile.

There was a pause, a hesitation during which she pondered if she should say what was on her mind, if Beatrice was ready to hear it. She bit her bottom lip, looked away for a moment.

When her eyes settled back on Beatrice, she leapt over her doubt and set her words free.

“I favour my sense of taste because I can enjoy your food,” she said. “I love your cooking. It’s incredible. It is somewhat amazing how good you are at cooking considering the food we had at the OCS. No offence, it was okay, but it barely made it above ‘bland’ as far as taste go. Now, your cooking? The most wonderful trip for my tastebuds.”

Beatrice blushed at the compliment. “Thank you.”

“I favour my sense of hearing because I love the sound of your voice. You’re always so calm, your voice is soothing. I also love the sound of your laughter, it’s truly glorious.”

Ava did love hearing Beatrice laugh; she liked it so much she made it her mission to have her laugh at least once a day.

Beatrice felt her face getting even warmer at Ava’s words.

“I also love it when you sing. I don’t think you realize it but when you’re hyper focused on something, you sing. It’s sweet, really. And I enjoy it quite a lot.”

This time, oxygen left Beatrice’s lungs unexpectedly. She felt her eyebrows rise in astonishment. Just how much did Ava pay attention to her?

Ava seemed amused by her reaction and kept on. “I favour my sense smell because…” she leant a bit forward and whispered. “I like your fragrance, orange blossom or cotton blossom…depending on the soap you choose on any given day.”

Beatrice’s heart was pacing an odd beat now. She had to remind herself to breathe.

“I favour my sense of sight because… I like watching you. I think you’re fascinating. It’s amazing to see you pour yourself in the simplest or smallest task; like everything deserved your full attention. I can watch you for hours and always find something new about you. You always move with poise and grace and… I think you’re beautiful.”

Beatrice felt naked under Ava’s gaze. She had never had anyone looking at her with so much affection and admiration, it made her feel warm and… and…whatever it was she felt, it was too much.

“I favour my sense of touch because…”

With lightning speed, Ava put her hands on her hips and squeezed them before launching a tickling attack. Beatrice squealed in surprise then started to wiggle in a vain attempt to escape, laughing heartily.

“Mercy! Mercy!” she begged trying to push Ava’s hands away. She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

Ava was enjoying the sound so much she didn’t stop right away. She had sensed that Beatrice was overwhelmed and figured some levity was needed.

Beatrice was panting, her cheeks hurting a bit from her hysterical laughter. Of course Ava would find a way to force her to breathe again.

“I favour my sense of touch because I love making you scream with my fingers.”

“Ava!”

Watching Beatrice’s eyes almost popping out of their sockets while she gasped in shock and her face reddened was absolutely delightful. If the ability to speak was a sense, Ava knew she’d favour it because she adored teasing Beatrice or saying anything that’d make her lose her composure.

“Yeah, that did sound a bit dirty,” Ava waggled her eyebrows.

“You’re incorrigible,” Beatrice chastised her or at least she tried, because she was grinning even though she clearly didn’t want to.

“And proud of it.”

Beatrice rolled her eyes with mock exasperation. She was grateful for Ava’s goofiness and sense of humour. She was grateful for Ava just being Ava.

Someone had told her once that she was contained, which was a painfully accurate statement she could admit. She had spent a lifetime learning to always be in control of her emotions just so she wouldn’t get hurt by anything or anyone, so letting go didn’t come easy to her.

She liked having fun, joking around, laughing and just letting her hair down like anyone. It simply was counter intuitive to her nature. She had built herself to be serious, disciplined, to be stern and tempered because it was the only version of herself that the world had deemed acceptable.

When she was around Ava though, the iron grip she had over herself and her emotions always loosened. Ava always brought forth her softer side.

“I favour my sense of touch because I love hugging you… and showing you affection… I love how warm and soft you feel,” Ava said seriously.

Trust Ava to surprise her. When she had asked her question, Beatrice had figured she’d proceed to find her favourite sense by elimination. Which sense could she live without? Ava had tackled the question differently, why did she favoured each of her sense to begin with.

Under that new light, Beatrice understood Ava. It really was logical not to have a favourite sense. Now that she thought about it. She favoured all of her senses for the same reasons Ava favoured hers, albeit in different ways.

She loved watching Ava, to see her whole face lighting up whenever she'd take a scenery in or found beauty in the most mundane things. She just loved Ava’s seemingly perpetual state of amazement.

It was easy to forget that for all the knowledge she had soaked in, nurturing her brain, most of the time Ava was literally experiencing the rest of the world for the first time.

Beatrice couldn't imagine not hearing Ava laugh, or the excitement colouring her voice when she'd speak of one thing or another, or that mischievous note when she did a bad pun.

Some nights Ava would have nightmares. She’d toss in her sleep in a clear state of distress. Beatrice would take her in her arms and hold her tight against her. Then she’d slowly breathe in and out until Ava mimicked her unconsciously.

Once Ava would settle down, Beatrice would breathe her in, let Ava’s scent fill her lungs. It was quite intoxicating and she was addicted to that scent. Beatrice loved those moments because they were only hers. Ava never woke up when she was holding her and she’d always let go of Ava long before the morning.

They had shared a few kisses since the one she had given to Ava in the kitchen. Ava had been the one initiating them, they were always soft and almost chaste. One thing was certain: she absolutely loved the sweet taste of Ava’s lips.

Ava was tactile. Beatrice loved her sense of touch because she could feel Ava’s displays of affection. She just loved feeling Ava’s soft hands on her. Ava could convey so much with the simplest touch. Beatrice craved those touches, they always made her feel grounded, complete.

Yes, Beatrice favoured all her senses as well, even though she couldn’t voice it all aloud.

“As you can now see, it is impossible for me to have a favourite sense,” Ava concluded with a grin.

“You did make interesting points,” Beatrice agreed.

Ava’s gaze intensified, the emotion shining through it robbed Beatrice’s lungs from oxygen. Ava palmed her cheek and when she spoke again her tone was soft but serious.

“I love all of my senses because they enable me to love you, completely.” Ava caressed Beatrice’s skin softly. “And I do, Bea. I love you.”

Beatrice couldn’t remember ever hearing those words before. She was fairly certain she never had.

Nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared her to hear those words.

All she had ever been prepared for was rejection. She understood the why and the how of rejection: she was ugly, flawed, unworthy, broken.

Ava knew all that. Ava could see the ugly, the flawed, the unworthy, the broken. She knew, she saw and yet there was no teasing in her voice, no trace of uncertainty.

The inner voices in Beatrice’s head kicked in to tell her she was unworthy but then something happened. Ava’s words kept echoing, silencing the rest until it was the only thing she could hear.

I love you.

Beatrice could feel Ava’s love radiating from her, like a warm, fuzzy current. It engulfed her, filled her up to the brim and suddenly it was like she was holding onto a live wire: every cell of her body was pulsing. She was overwhelmed, so much so she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t put what she felt into words. It was too much, just way too much and it was petrifying. Were people wired to actually feel so much at once? Because she sure wasn’t.

It took a minute for her to be cognizant of her heart pounding so violently in her chest she felt on the verge of imploding.

And then, for the first time, her voice was the loudest in her head. It was boisterous, screaming: I love you, too.

Ava watched emotions flashing through Beatrice’s eyes one after the other: shock, incomprehension, fear, elation, wonder…

She could hear the gears in Beatrice’s head turning, she could easily imagine what was going on in there. She simply waited, rubbing her thumb gently against Beatrice’s cheek.

She knew she had been heard. She also knew Beatrice needed to come to acceptance of her words on her own.

Ava had no doubt about her feelings. She had thought she was in love once. Mary had dismissed her as being hormonal and though offended at the time, now that she had gained perspective, she could say Mary had been right.

She knew because what she felt for Beatrice was a universe away from what she had felt for JC. She had been very fond him that was for sure, but it had definitely not been love.

She loved Beatrice. It was that simple. Her love was unwavering, unconditional, all encompassing. It was a bit terrifying because it was so vivacious, she could barely contain it all. She wasn’t scared to feel that much though, if anything she felt… settled, like everything made sense.

Beatrice’s shaky intake of breath broke her out of her musings. She watched the inner struggle in those beautiful hazel eyes.

Then it happened. Ava saw the very moment things shifted. The moment Beatrice finally took it all in, and understood that it was all real and true.

Tears pooled in Beatrice’s eyes and they were shinning with marvel. Ava saw her lips moving but no words made it out.

Ava stayed silent. She knew how hard it was for Beatrice to lean into her emotions and trust that what she was feeling was fine. She also knew that while Beatrice was winning small battles against her inner demons every day, she still had to find her own voice.

It was okay because Ava didn’t need to hear Beatrice tell her she loved her back. She already knew because Beatrice told her so every day whether she was conscious of it or not. She told her through the way she took care of her, through the way she looked at her, smiled at her… it was all the tiny things. Ava had learnt to listen, and she heard Beatrice as clear as if she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

Beatrice took a deep breath to reign over her emotions.

Looking at Ava again, she made another attempt to speak but the words remained stuck in her throat. She briefly cursed her inaptitude to voice her feelings.

Oh well, there were other ways to communicate.

Ava was about to reassure Beatrice but words never made it past her lips. Beatrice surprised her with a kiss so fierce it sent her in orbit.

Beatrice kissed Ava with everything she was, pouring her heart out. She loved her too, by heavens she loved Ava too.

When Ava laughed into their kiss, Beatrice knew she had heard her silent declaration loud and clear.

They broke the kiss, both beaming with incommensurable joy. Beatrice could feel tears streaming down her cheeks but she didn’t care.

She might never feel deserving of Ava’s love, but she was no fool and she intended to hold onto that precious gift with dear life. More importantly, she’d show Ava that her love was reciprocated any way she could, even if it wasn’t with words. Without hesitation, she kissed Ava again.

Ava loved Beatrice.

Beatrice loved Ava.

That was that.

------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading!

[the-night-writer1]

The Day of two monkey kings

Mimicking is a very funny thing on flower fruit mountain.

It was a Saturday afternoon as Macaque found himself trying to hold in a laugh as he watched his cub. Shanyao was doing his very best to, without Wukong's knowledge, do everything the monkey king was doing. Macaque was dying from the cuteness.

He even made his own little staff, gods mac's heart. Sure Shan had mimicked his baba before but not to this level. Waddling around behind his unknowing baba and wearing Wukong's spare clothes which were way too big .

"Azure save me" Mac jokingly pleaded to the lion beside him. Azure was currently wishing he had a way to preserve the little cub's antics. It was adorable how much effort the little one was putting into copying his baba.

"I'm afraid brother I am also trapped by his cuteness" Azure said as he put a paw to his chest and pretended to be weak in the knees while Mac snorted.

"oh no hopefully the others were not lured into the cuteness"Mac chuckled before the two spotted Peng in the distance and Mac playfully shouted to him,"run it's too much for us save yourself Peng!"

"Yes brother flee! Before Sunshine has you in his grasp as well" the lion said in playfully woe. Peng landed next to them confused. Macaque pointed to wear Wukong and Shan were standing, the little cub copy Wukong's motions. Trying to pick a peach from a smaller tree that just wasn't giving as Wukong was picking peaches from the tree next to it.

"oh gods" Peng said with a snort," how long has he been dressed like that?"

"All morning he dressed himself" Mac said with a grin as they watched the cub," he even made a little shanyao staff from bamboo."

"my heart, why is he so cute?" Peng asked as he sat down on a rock," has Wukong even noticed the mini monkey king"

"he has not to our knowledge brother which makes it ever cuter Sunshine has been a rather successful three year old" Azure said as he patted Peng's back," brother Macaque and I have been monitoring him just in case Wukong does something he can't"

Lil Shan was trying his hardest to pick the peach like his baba. It just wouldn't budge, he didn't realize the peach he was trying to pick wasn't ripe. It was to small for him to properly pick like his baba was picking the other peaches.

Wukong was moving on as he looked towards his baba. So the little cub stopped his efforts and went back to walking like his baba with confidence! Unaware similar to his baba that the little cub was being followed. Though his baba's path was a bit harder to follow with all the rocks in the way.

If baba could do it though so could he! This poor bean was really struggling to keep up in his baba's clothes. He barely see wearing his baba's spare hat so he was following Wukong's tail.

"what are we doing brothers?" Dbk asked as he spotted the three looking over at who he thought was just Wukong at first. Azure silently pointed to Wukong's little shadow,"oh goodness why did no one tell me there are two monkey kings?"

"it is a recent delevopment brother" Azure said with a soft chuckle as they watched the toddler toddle. DBK softly chuckled joined them watching this go down.

Wukong was about to clear some boulders as he spotted the others looking at him from the corner from his eyes. He turned his head in confusion towards them. Macaque looked like he was dying of laughter as Peng waved along with DBK. He was a bit weirded out as he fully turned to them and put his hands on his hips. Cocking his head to side. Why were they watching him all of the sudden.

Before he could question it he heard a little thud behind him. He turned to see his cub had been right behind him. Shanyao fell trying to copy Wukong's hip movement due to the pants and now he was upset. Wukong quickly scooped his baby boy who he quickly noticed was dressed in Wukong's clothes.

"whatcha doing lil bud?" Wukong asked softly as he brushed dirty off the sniffling cub.

"I try be monkey king!" Shanyao said tearfully as he buried his face in Wukong's neck," I faileded"

"what do you mean bud?" Wukong asked as he nuzzled his cub sweetly. Macaque was rushing over to them now since Shanyao had tripped. Their son unlike his baba wasn't invincible and rather fragile.

"I faileded get peaches then I falleded" Shan said in tears as Macaque removed the hat from his head.

"my lil king are you okay?" Macaque asked softly as Wukong kissed shan's cheek.

"Yes Mr. Monkey king are you ok?" Wukong asked nuzzled his cub. Shan just sniffled, yeah it was definitely cuddles then nap time.

"I hurted my knee" Shan said as he laid his head on his baba's shoulder. Macaque did check his knee while Wukong was giving his forehead kisses.

"it is but a minor wound my little king what about we take a nap in your lovely nest " Wukong said sweetly to his sweet Lil boy as Mac turned away for a moment. The sweetness gods be damned if his son's cuteness didn't kill him Wukong's sweetness to their son would.

[starrysnowdrop]

What is your character's favourite type of flower and why? If someone were to make your character a bouquet of flowers, what kinds would they find there? Would they include anything unconventional like fruits/vegetables/etc.?

Ohhh this is such a great ask, and certain flowers are especially important to Hali’s story, because of their symbolism and what they mean to her and to Aymeric, the man she loves. I’ll go through them one by one.

Flower Symbolism 🪷 Hali Aloke

Water Lilies and Lotuses

Growing up, water lilies and lotuses were always Hali’s favorite flowers, because she was fascinated with how they exclusively grow in water and bloom on the surface of ponds and such. They are symbolic of Hali herself, as her given name means “sea, ocean”, and her surname means “enlightenment”. A common color of both flower varieties is a vibrant pink, which is also why I made Hali’s hair color pink in the first place. Hali also wears a Thavnairian perfume made from the essence of water lilies, as a nod to the flowers that symbolize her. Because he wanted to remember her scent when she was away, Aymeric bought some candles with the same water Lily scent of Hali’s perfume.

Snowdrops

If you were to ask Hali what is her favorite flower, for most of her life she would have said “water lilies”, but if you asked her the same question after the events of this fic HERE, then she would say “snowdrops”. This is because Aymeric gives her a hair ornament adorned with snowdrops, tells her that she reminds him of the flowers, stating:

“Snowdrops are among the first flowers of the year to bloom, and some are seen as early as the first astral moon. They are a symbol of new beginnings, of hope and rebirth, and the ability to overcome the hardest of challenges. These are all things that you have given my people, and to myself. It seemed most fitting that you should be gifted with the flowers that remind me of you.”

From that moment forward, Hali cherished snowdrops more than any other flower, because the snowdrop hair ornament was the most thoughtful gift anyone had ever given her, and because Aymeric also gave her the pet name “my snowdrop”. For Aymeric, snowdrops remind him of Hali, but for Hali, they remind her of him.

Tulips

Because snowdrops aren’t generally used for bouquets, or at least used as accent flowers only, a better variety of flower to use as a main flower in a bouquet for Hali would be tulips. Like snowdrops, tulips are a late winter/early spring flower, and they symbolize happiness, hope, and love, all perfect for Hali. I imagine Aymeric would choose pink ones to match her hair.

Forget-Me-Nots

Lastly, another flower that suits Hali and Aymeric specifically are forget-me-nots. These flowers are, just like the name suggests, symbolize remembrance, and a flower usually given to someone in hopes that the person remembers the you while you are apart, which is perfect for Hali and Aymeric when their duties must keep them apart for long periods of time. They are also a late winter/early spring flower, same as tulips and snowdrops, and they have the added bonus of being blue, the couple’s favorite color.

I hope I wasn’t too long winded there, but flower symbolism is one of my favorite things to write about. Thank you @gatheredfates for such a wonderful ask!! 🥰💖

[highladyjane]

Let's goooooooo

what song makes you feel better?

what’s your feel-good movie?

what flower would you like to be given?

who do you feel most you around?

say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).?

what’s something you’re excited for?

Aw, thank you for sending some back 😅💞

1. I don't really have a certain song that comes to mind, but I guess I like songs that reflects my mood most. I always perk up when I hear an old song from the Jazz era to the 80s randomly though.

2. Most classic 90s or early 00s movies makes me feel good. I'm a very nostalgic person 😆

3. Any flower that made you think of me, especially if there's a special meaning behind it 😊

4. Different people and settings bring out different sides of me, and I don't necessarily think of it as a bad thing or that I'm less of myself. But I guess the only person who's truly seen all of my sides is my husband.

5. These kind of questions are the hardest! 😆 Physical: 1.) I don't know why, but I've been complimented about my eyes too often - about their shape or how "striking" they are. And I'm always surprised when someone says something about them, because they're just... brown 🤷🏻‍♀️ I suppose they're what people notice first about me when I look at them, so it's made me like them the most when it comes to my physical traits... So I guess they're nice? 2.) I like that I have a body that makes me feel very "womanly". I'm not at my best, and have my insecurities, but despite society telling me not to, I do like being on the softer side and having curves at the right places. 3.) I suppose my complexion is nice too, since it's what I get the most compliments about? 😅

Non-Physical: 1.) I grew up in a multi-cultural setting where something or someone's always clashing with another, so I guess it's taught me to always have an open-mind about things and to always strive to see things from the other's perspective in order to better understand something. I feel like it's a trait a lot of people still struggle with, and it can be daunting at times, but I like that I can and always strive to. 2.) I'm always referred to as sweet and caring, or the one everyone likes or gets along with, so I do sound a bit like a people-pleaser. Maybe I am at times, but I like and trust my own self-awareness gained from a whole lot of solitude to know that I'm not. 3.) I'm less affected by things and people because I am self-aware yet easy-going (sorry for sounding conceited 😅) - which makes it easier to know how to relate to and navigate people and situations, and how to put others at ease... and I do like that about myself. If that makes sense 😆

6. I'm excited for the warmer and brighter and longer days ahead... 🌞For all the possibilities that will open up with it. For the cherry & apple blossom trees and all the flowers in our garden to bloom once again... and to harvest and bake from the fruits and berries from it. To spending more time and go on adventures with my husband whom I've only had a total of 38 days out of the 15 months we've been married to be with... I'm also excited to see Paramore and Taylor Swift in May💃 😊

[mrsmarymorstan]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Oh god, from ANY MEDIA EVER?! That's a lot! 28+ years worth of #Content to remember... I'm just gonna be totally random about it I think and this is not an actual ranking!!! Just who first springs to mind. I'll also try not to double up on franchises.

1) Misty (Pokémon) - She was The Girl One and also Not Like Other Girls! I was five, okay?

2) Kyo Sohma (Fruits Basket) The boy who set me down the path of Monster Hugging and Furrydom. If you want details my entire blog exists lol

3) Sir Gwaine (BBC Merlin) Baby's first Dose of Heteronomativity! Plus he helped introduce me to amazing crack ships and made me laugh and broke my heart!

4) Jadzia Dax (Star Trek DS9) - She's just SO COOL! She's semi-immortal, is both an expert on gender and doesn't believe in it, is canonically queer, snarky AF, knows all about Klignons, is very pretty, and does THE SCIENCE!!! Plus she marries Worf and I mean goals.

5) Grog Strongjaw (Critical Role) - He is the definition of Positive Masculinity. An Aromantic King. My precious Baby Boy who could rip me in half if he wanted to but wouldn't. The man who makes me laugh and makes me cry. I miss him so much, I just want more Grog in my life when will he return from the war Matthew???

6) Uncle Newt (John Finnemore's Souvenir Program S9) - A Canonical Asexual Icon, breaking and healing my heart all at once, hell yes to historical queers and elder queers helping to raise baby queers and the found family trope and LOOK JUST LISTEN TO SERIES 9 OKAY?! (They don't use the WORD Asexual but that's because Newt wouldn't KNOW that word but everything about him and his character descriptions and his arc SCREAMS Asexual)

7) Kanade Miyako (Twinkle Stars) - Takaya-sensei made a character so relateable to me I just sat there and cried the whole time. The Academic burn out? The pressure to conform to expectations? Not knowing what to do with your life? Seeing the way she had the narrative treat him as a guide to myself to just take care and take things one step at a time? That it doesn't matter what others say, taking baby steps to heal yourself important and you shouldn't dismiss that. URGH. TAKAYA-SENSEI!!! WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

8) Stephanie Brown (DC Comics) - Purple Clad Icon who tries her hardest and doesn't always succeed but DAMN IT if she isn't gonna crawl back on her feet again no matter what!!! Every single shitty thing a male writer can do to a female character has been done to her, and she's STILL STANDING!!! I will defend her to my last breath.

9) Mary Morstan (Sherlock Holmes) Very few adaptions ever do my girl justice and it's SO FRUSTRATING!!! But god I love her. I love how she's so strong not in a badass Hashtag No Fear way but in the way she is terrified and scared and still goes forward anyway! She's also snarky and loves to tease her husband (and his boyfriend) and I just wish more adaptations understood her! I think the best version of her I've seen is the Ritchie Verse version? More like that please!

10) Gilbert (Being Human) He was in it for one episode and is an absolute Icon. All those years and the only thing he had to do to find his door was to fall in love unironically? He just had to be honest with himself and his feelings. Also this:

(I debated putting the Sarcastic Vicar here but decided upon Gilbert in the end 💜)

[encrucijada]

@moonssugar i said i wanted to do all the questions so i'm doing that ✨️ let's go, haze dogs!

👀 - an excerpt from my WIP

in the morning you walked home crying and covered in after-party remnants — glitter in your hair, a ripped dress, gashes on your black stockings, no shoes on, and blood artistically on your neck.

👑 - a random fact about one of my ocs

connor and ángel do archery! this is in part because i do archery but also because they really needed a hobby. i think it's also gonna be how they become close and eventually start dating.

🦀 - a favourite piece of dialogue

yay church scene!!

ángel pressed his smile to your cheek, compelled you to smile in kind. you felt the edges of his teeth like he intended to bite your cheekbone off. “you’re going to hell for blasphemy.”

“we’re all going to hell for it, my sin was being named an idol against my will.”

“and desecrating the house of god.”

“this hasn’t been god’s house for a decade, i had nothing to do with it. the place was empty,” you said, “ripe for the taking. so, i did.”

☀️ - current word count

2678 if we include the church scene and the scene of connor going to ángel's house after getting a little bit bloody. of the actual manuscript i have 474 words lmao

❄️ - toughest aspect of my wip

actually getting the ball rolling has been the hardest part. i'm banking on actually writing whenever i get to it to help me with character dynamics and connecting the plot points in my head.

🍕 - my characters' favourite foods

i feel like connor would really enjoy an empanada de papa. ángel feels like the type to say pasta with white sauce is his favourite. acacia Loves ice cream. benjy could live off of spicy chicken wings.

⚽️ - genre of my wip

low fantasy horror. at least i like to pretend it's horror but i get easily freaked out so it's might just be a little spook.

🤔 - what's the inspiration behind my wip

it's a combination of things. i wanted to write horror for reasons i forgot but the only good idea i had for a horror story couldn't lean all on the horror because of what i wanted it to do (aka disasters to sleep through which is more about healing your inner child and loneliness and love). so i had to find something new. i have a half-finished short story titled homeward & bound about two friends driving home down a creepy road with one of the girl's niece and the other's dog, and no matter how far they drive they never seem to make any progress. it's got subtle horror elements, all encompassed in the dog, inspired by a prompt i saw in one of those "southern gothic aesthetic" lists on tumblr about having to walk your dog so it's not restless and something bad happens. i decided to go from there with haze dogs, though i made without the two friends or the spooky car ride and just kept the dog. i've had recurring nightmares of being chased by creatures that want to kill me with their teeth no matter what, i used that and what little i know of stephen king's children of the corn from youtube videos with their ritualistic sacrifices to an entity that basically lives in their backyard. the cult stuff appeared when i decided to introduce ángel into the story, he's regulus black in a different font because stealing from terfs is encouraged. with his family situation coming straight from the blacks i skewed it slightly to the left and now you have a rich, manipulative mother who wants influence over the town. connor is inspired somewhat on wren from the podcast spines, most especially that initial sacrifice with her waking up in a pool of her own blood looking up at people she knows (in connor's case it's her classmates).

🎁 - prologues or no prologues, why?

none! it's better to just jump straight into the action with this one.

🎶 - wip playlist

the fruits by paris paloma

animal by pvris

you should see me in a crown by billie eilish

the unwanted animal by the amazing devil

which witch by florence + the machine

arsonist's lullabye by hozier

take me to church by hozier

the tradition by halsey

in the woods somewhere by hozier

[daydreamgoddess14]

My bad habits lead to you pt. 2

MASTERLIST

Sequel to We lie awake in love and fear

From a prompt by @lilacmermaid25:

5 times Ted returns from Kansas for a wedding, one time he returns 'just because'.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Nate and Jade - April 2024

Nate had insisted on a small, intimate wedding with only their closest friends and family. They decided on the registry office on Wandsworth high street followed by a reception at Le Gothique. Jade's family had travelled from Poland for the occasion and everyone was in high spirits. Rebecca was grateful to be able to get ready in her own home. She'd opened the house up to the Higgins', Trent, Beard, Jane and baby Teddy, Roy and Keeley to meet up for brunch before making the journey into South London. Ted was booked in at Mae’s b&b and was also planning to join them and she'd extended the invitation to any of the team and staff. She’d arranged catering from the little bakery in paved court - bagels, smoked salmon, pastries, fruit platters. She made bucks fizz and alperol spritz en mass, happily pottering around in a simple spring dress. Her dress for the wedding itself hung on the back of the bathroom door, but everyone else had arrived dressed up and ready to go. It was mornings like this which had her questioning how she'd allowed Rupert to ever turn her into such a cold, anti social, heartless woman. She hadn't been like that before him, and she was definitely glad to be rid of those traits now she was rid of him. From the depths of the fridge (looking for avocados), she heard a happy cheer go up in her sitting room. Ted. She guessed with a happy smile. As nice as he was,  Matt didn't invoke that reaction from any of the group. 

"Hey Rebecca! What did the mayo say when you opened the fridge?"

"Close the door, I'm dressing." Came the distant reply. 

"God, I wish you were."

"That's not the punchline, Ted." She emerged successfully. 

"You're never the punchline, beautiful."

"You should stop flirting."

"Why, your boyfriend around?"

"Not today, he's in Amsterdam for a few days."

"Well then consider me flirtin' with you for the rest of the day then. Maybe tomorrow as well. Actually, heck just whenever we're alone. And sometimes when we're not."

"At this rate Ted you'll be flirting 24/7."

"How 'bout a blanket 'whenever I'm in the UK'?" She shook her head, throwing an indulgent smile his way. 

"It's lovely to see you. You're looking very handsome." She moved away from the fridge to step into his arms. He held her tightly.

"You look gorgeous."

"Thank you. I'm just going to have a snuggle with baby Teddy and then I'm going to get changed for the wedding."

"I'm sure there's a dirty joke there but I'm not gonna take the bait."

"Wise move, Lasso."

"Ohh. You last naming me now?"

"I seem to recall you doing the same thing a couple of times."

"Slightly different circumstances."

"Just very slightly." She said with a knowing grin, leaving him to pick some brunch. When he joined her a few minutes later with a plate, he perched on the arm of the sofa next to Leslie. Rebecca had squeezed in next to Keeley to cuddle Teddy. 

3 months old and all cheeks, he was a calm and placid baby. It had been the hardest task, welcoming a baby into her life. She hadn't been close to a baby since Nora, she met Phoebe, Henry and Jelka as precocious pre-teens. She'd had the occasional coffee with Bex, who usually brought Diane, but Teddy was the first baby. Babies were harder for her, she'd realised quite quickly. The smell and weight of them in her arms had moved her more than she expected. She'd cut her first visit short, unable to maintain her facade for long. She'd spent many late nights on the phone to Ted, taking a while to open up about the full reason for the calls but once she'd come clean he'd spend hours helping her unpick how she felt and things she should do to open up a corner of her heart for Teddy. She hadn't considered how freeing it would be to let him in on her hardest secret. How much it would help. He watched her so intently as she balanced little Teddy on her knees, giving him wide smiles and making patterns in the air with her fingers for him to marvel at. He knew how she struggled with missing out on having a baby of her own, but he was also mesmerised with the way she managed those feelings and allowed herself to love her friends children. 

"We should think about getting over to Wandsworth." Leslie said, checking his watch. 

"I need to change, and Ted needs to meet Teddy." Rebecca shared a look with Jane who seemed quite happy to have the use of both of her hands for a change and nodded for Rebecca to pass Teddy to his uncle Ted. Rebecca moved away quite quickly, she knew she couldn't avoid it forever but she also wasn't ready to see Ted holding a tiny baby. He watched her hurry upstairs, desperate to follow and check in with her, but equally desperate to love his new nephew-of-sorts. In the scrimmage of getting coats, shoes, finishing drinks etc, Teddy took the time to initiate his uncle Teddy by spitting up on the shoulder of his shirt. Ted gratefully let Keeley clean it up as much as she could, thankfully his suit jacket hid the worst of it. 

"I'll go see if Rebecca is ready to go." He volunteered, handing Teddy over to Beard. He took the stairs two at a time, reminded of the layout from his previous visit. The room he'd stayed in had been decorated with rainbow colours he noted on his way past. Jelka, he reasoned. They didn't talk much about Matt and Jelka, preferring to exist in a bubble which consisted of their shared found family only. Ted didn't want to consider a time when that found family might have to extend. "Hey Becca, you ready?" He knocked softly at her door, she was across the room putting in earrings and trying to step into her shoes at the same time. "You could do one thing at a time?"

"I don't want to be late, are we still OK for time?"

"We got plenty, don't worry. You ok?"

"Yeah, how was Teddy?"

"Threw up on me."

"Badge of honour. Also, you probably deserved it."

"I'm hurt, how'd you figure that?"

"Because a little birdy tells me that you're dating someone in Kansas." 

"Ah."

"Hmm. You weren't going to tell me?"

"I was, I just wasn't sure when. Or how. And there's something I needed to do first." He crowded her in her bedroom doorway as she went to leave, the bustle and laughter from downstairs filtering up to them. 

"What's that then?" She queried, feeling her chest tighten at his sudden proximity. His hand moved to the hip of her wrap dress, where the split skirt opened up. He flicked his wrist to get underneath the fold of the skirt, catching her eye for the briefest second to seek permission. She nodded, putting a hand on his shoulder to steady herself just in time - his fingers slipped her underwear to one side and he pushed two inside her, curling them just so. She gasped and he leaned in to kiss her. 

"Shhh baby, don't want the rabble to hear ya. You gonna keep quiet for me?" She nodded, resting her head in the crook of his neck. His hand rocked against her clit, his fingers fucking her as she moaned quietly into his collar. 

"Fuck, Ted I-"

"I know baby, I've got you. I needed to see you like this again, I always need to see you like this. Sometimes, thinking of you like this is the only thing that gets me through the day." 

"Come on, you two!" Keeley's voice shouted out. Rebecca froze, but Ted didn't stop. He pressed his palm harder into her clit and kept his fingers moving inside her.

"Just coming Keeley, Rebecca had to switch shoes." Rebecca was just coming, she wobbled against him, moaning into his ear. He held her hip a little tighter, "Come on, baby, you got it."

"She's got too many pairs! If only I didn't have such teeny feet!" 

"She's chosen some now, it's like Sarah Jessica Parker's closet up here!" He called out with a smile as Rebecca came down from her earth shattering high. She hit his bicep, barely any true strength behind it. He took his hand away, going to lick his fingers, but she grabbed his wrist and licked them herself while holding his gaze. She straightened her dress and steadied herself in her shoes. 

"Do I look OK?" She asked, concerned that she'd be caught out as soon as she got downstairs. He reached out to brush her hair from her forehead and placed a warm kiss on her lips."You look beautiful." She breezed down the stairs, sweeping her coat from the coatstand as she hustled her gathered friends through the front door to the waiting selection of cars. If Leslie noticed her hands shaking in the car, he didn't say anything. She was grateful when Ted jumped in the car behind with Keeley and Roy. 

Nate's family were incredibly warm and welcoming considering they received three cars and ten people all at once. Once they made it through to the ceremony room, the reason became clear - they'd just received 22 footballers, their plus ones and a selection of support staff. A group of ten was nothing. At the front of the room, Nate stood alongside Will. Keeley and Rebecca blew him kisses as they made their way down the aisle to their seats. They exchanged hushed greetings with the team and all sat, except Ted, who went to shake Nate’s hand warmly. They shared a quick moment before Ted was encouraged into the empty seat next to Rebecca just in time for the ceremony. Rebecca brushed a stray tear or two from her face as the couple exchanged rings, Ted squeezed her hand. The functional service was short, and they were soon driving ten minutes down the road to the reception venue. 

"I want to hear about her you know?" Rebecca told him once they were settled with a drink in the spring sunshine. 

"Who?"

"Who," she scoffed, "your mystery woman. I cannot believe you didn't tell me. I had to find out from Keeley. You can’t distract me here, so you might as well tell me."

"I'm sorry 'bout that, I really am."

"The distraction? Don't be."

"Oh no, I'm never gonna be sorry for that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. We don't talk about Matt, and that's fine - I don't really want to, I wasn't sure if you'd feel the same way. I know you've struggled with what happened between us the last time I was here, and I've probably made it worse with what happened earlier-"

"I know it's… wrong. I do. And I care very much for Matt, I just can’t help but think of the night before your last match. I can't help it." She stole a glance around the gardens, hoping they weren't being overheard. "I feel so guilty, but then when you're here, I just feel relief. I'm not sure how long I can carry the guilt around with me." 

"Do you love him?"

"You're really asking me that?"

"No. I don't want to know the answer." She rolled her eyes. 

"And yet here's me, asking to hear about the woman you're dating."

"Her name is Marie. She works in Sports Science."

"Where did you meet?"

"At one of Hen's matches. She's a parent of one of the other kids in the team."

"Is she nice to you?"

"She is. She's fun, smart."

"Pretty?" Rebecca chanced.

"Very."

"Do you love her?".

"It's early days." Rebecca stared at him. 

"So earlier was…? For old times sake? You ask if I love Matt, but you're awfully cagey when I ask the same question."

"No, no, I wanted you, Rebecca."

"Wanted? Hmm. I think I've heard enough. I'm going to find Keeley." Rebecca turned to leave.

"Now hold on, you can't get mad that I'm dating. You've been with Matt for nearly a year. You're not mad at me, you're mad at yourself for cheating on him."

"Don't tell me what you think you know about me, Ted. This isn't biscuits with the fucking boss anymore." She looked away, too angry to look directly at him. "You know exactly what you do to me, exactly what effect you have on me. This isn't a game, I'm fed up of you fucking me one day and being over 4000 miles away the next. One night, I said. A weird parting gift for myself, so I'd always know how you'd feel against me, inside me. One night and then never again." She shook her head. "I mean it this time, never again."

She spent the rest of the night ignoring him as much as possible. She danced with Keeley for the majority of the night, some of the players too, Roy - as usual. Despite the angry words with Ted, she did have a good night. Nate and Jade were gloriously happy, Trent kept her topped up with gin as if he knew she was trying to keep her thoughts at bay. She hadn't felt this grateful for her family since Ted had left them nearly a year before, when they'd rallied around each other and pulled each other along until they could all stand upright again. 

"He has no idea what he's doing to us all, coming back and reminding us all of how much we love him and then he leaves again like it's nothing! Like we don't even fucking matter to him!" She said to Trent, beginning to regret the last drink she knocked back. 

"Do you want me to get him, so you can talk?"

"Absolutely not, I've had far too much to drink. I think I need to go home, Trent. Thank you."

"Anytime. Come, I'll walk you out, have you called your driver?"

"Yes, he should be here. I just need to say goodbye to Nate and Jade." Rebecca gratefully took Trent’s arm, she wasn't embarrassingly drunk, but she felt ever so slightly beyond her limit given that she was a fairly prominent public figure. The last thing she needed now was photos of 'Wrecked Rebecca' splashed across the front pages. She put on her game face and let Trent escort her around the room, saying her goodbyes to the team and their partners, who all stopped whatever they were doing to sling an arm around her, or offer her a kiss. She spent slightly longer with Colin and Michael and Sam and Simi, she was enveloped in a group hug by Keeley, Roy and Jamie. Keeley had made plans with Simi for a team meal after the match on Sunday while they had Ted visiting. From the edge of it all, with baby Teddy asleep on his shoulder, Ted watched as the team surrounded their 'soccer mom' with love. The very reason she could never leave, the very reason he'd never ask her to. Richmond had gained reputation as a team who (after the Jamie Tartt to Man City and Zava debacles) seldom moved players on without good reason, a team where players were vocal about not wanting to leave. They weren't a pitstop team, they valued consistency and loyalty, and the loyalty went both ways. He loved watching her like this, her guard down as she made sure her boys were all ok, had they organised cars home? Had they got house keys? Had they eaten? Forever taking care of everyone else ahead of herself. He watched as she made her way to the new Mr & Mrs Shelley, complimenting Nate on his wonderful bride who suited him so brilliantly. She came over to say goodbye to Beard and Jane, gently stroking Teddy's head where it rested on Ted’s shoulder. She murmured a quiet goodnight in his direction and left. Trent returned moments later.

"How is she?" Ted asked, warily. 

"She finds it difficult to see you. We all do, Ted. Events like this, where you're here, remind us of the missing piece in our day to day lives. When you're here, it's like we're a complete unit again. By Monday morning, we'll all be one card short of a full deck again."

"Come on now Trent, I already told you - it was never about me."

"And that may well be true, it's about everyone. Everyone, including you."

"He's right, Coach." Beard offered. "You're the Yorkshire pudding to our roast dinner, the lime slice in our gin, the salt to our tequila. It all works fine without you, but it's a lot better with you."

"I miss you guys too. There's a lot more of you, feels like I'm missing more pieces if I'm honest. It's like I've got a person for every situation here. Back in Kansas, it's just not the same."

The hangovers were fortunately in short supply the next morning. It was a short training day - a Saturday before a Sunday lunchtime match kick off. Ted was staying until the Monday morning flight out of Heathrow. He'd planned to spend the Saturday watching training and then with whoever else had made plans to pull him into their busy Saturday. In this instance, it was Roy, Keeley and Jamie who'd insisted that he join them at Phoebe's school fayre for the afternoon. 

"Bring your wallet, the school will fuckin' rinse you for every penny." Roy suggested.

"I tell you what, two quid on the bouncy castle, a fiver for a hotdog, ice creams, tombolas, hook a duck… I spent £50 last time! I'm sure between us we paid for that new school library!" Keeley laughed with him in the stands while the lads ran drills on the pitch. "Roy donated three signed footballs to the raffle, and I'm sure he bunged them a couple of grand as well."

"He's a good benefactor for them."

"It's a lovely afternoon, Rebecca said she might join us for an ice cream as well. Phoebe's properly taken a shine to her recently. I think as she's getting older, seeing her mum, me and Rebecca being boss ass bitches is really helping her find her place in the world."

"Well that's great news, it's good for kids to have such strong role models."

"And Henry, he's got you. And he's got all of us here."

"Not sure I'm the best role model for him right now, but thanks Keels."

"You're one of the best men I know, Ted. I mean, you do make some odd decisions but then so do those lot." She shrugged, pointing down to the pitch. 

The school playground was packed, there was no shade and it was a hot day. There were craft stalls, cakes, sweets, a dance troop, and a community band. Ted walked with Jamie a few steps behind Roy and Keeley, with Phoebe leading them all though the maze of people, occasionally sticking her hand out for more cash. They were stood in the longest line for the ice cream van when the crowd seemed to part like the red sea for Rebecca who breezed through in a beautiful sundress, wide brimmed hat and large glasses. Keeley whistled at the sight. 

"Holy shi-..rts Rebecca!"

"Afternoon all. Are you in the queue?"

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"99 please, Roy. Here, I'll get these. I bet Phoebe's fleeced you already." She handed him some cash and leaned down to look at the glittery face paint Phoebe had chosen which was rapidly sweating off her face. "You look like a mermaid! It's beautiful!"

"You should have yours done too!"

"Maybe next time. Have you been on the trampolines yet?" Phoebe shook her head. "Hmm, maybe a bit later. You both having fun?" She asked Ted and Jamie. 

"Yeah, they've roped me into doing a penalty shootout later." Jamie faux complained. 

"Ya didn't seem too put out by that, Jamie. Mind those kids don't beat you though, you might get bumped from the team." Ted teased. He handed Rebecca her ice cream and gestured towards a space which had opened up in the shade of the building. She led Phoebe to claim the spot and the others followed. They enjoyed the sun all afternoon before decamping to the Crown and Anchor for the evening. Keeley in particular, it seemed, was out to remind Ted of what he was missing out on. 

"Where are you watching the match tomorrow, Ted? You're coming up to the box aren't you? You've never sat with us for a game."

"Was thinking I might sit in the stands."

"You can't do that! You're a super special guest, you should have the best seat in the house. Isn't that right, Rebecca?" Rebecca felt a sharp jab to her ribs, 

"Ouch, fuck, Keeley! Of course Ted can sit with us, he can sit wherever he likes! I'm the owner, I can sit wherever I like."

"Ohhh I know where you'd like to sit." Keeley replied under her breath. She didn't think the rest of the table had heard the sunstruck, slightly drunk Keeley, until Ted spluttered into his pint. 

The next day dawned cooler, thankfully. Nelson Road was in good spirits, the team were 5th in the table with 4 games still to go so another chance in the Champions League was looking within grasp. It was the oddest feeling sitting with Ted next to her. They hadn't spoken alone since Nate's wedding reception, Rebecca reverting back to her default protection method of keeping a buffer person around them at all times. She, Keeley and Leslie were their usual boisterous selves during the game, jumping up and screaming bloody murder when Colin had a shot on target which was saved by the keeper. When Richmond were awarded a penalty late in the game, she found herself holding Ted's hands in hers while Keeley buried her face into Leslie’s shoulder. Jamie passed the ball to Dani to take the shot. When the goal went in, the roof nearly came off the stadium. Rebecca was on her feet instantly  throwing her arms around Ted's neck. 

The win meant a  jubilant atmosphere at Ola's that evening. Simi had outdone herself, the food and wine were perfect. Rebecca smiled fondly as Simi put Sam to work, he looked so enamoured with the young chef. Across the room, Keeley and Roy were talking privately, heads together. Rebecca could see that Ted was on the phone. 

"Yeah OK, we'll catch up when I get back in a few days. OK, you take care. Bye." He hung up as she took the seat next to him at the huge table set out for everyone. 

"The wonderful Marie?"

"Just checking in with her. I missed her call earlier."

"Sounds pretty serious between you both."

"Says you coming up on nearly a year with Matt." Rebecca tapped the stem of her wine glass.

"I wouldn't place bets on my meeting any upcoming milestones."

"That so?" She didn't reply. 

"I'd get another flight booked soon if I were you." She said instead. Ted looked confused, she nodded towards Roy and Keeley. "That'll be the next one."

"You think?" 

"Just a feeling. I could be wrong."

"Not in my lifetime." 

"Oh, I don't know. I've made some terrible mistakes."

"So you've said."

"None of them involving you, though."

"Not even everything we talked about on Friday?"

"Nothing about you - hiring you, sleeping with you, loving you, none of it will ever be a mistake." This time, he didn't reply. "I hope she knows how lucky she is, this Marie. I hope she loves you for exactly who you are. I hope she's worthy of you. Because I'm yet to find anyone who is." She smiled softly at him and walked away to catch up with Julie Higgins. They had a wonderful night, they always did when everyone was together. Late into the evening,  Keeley and Roy pulled Rebecca to one side. 

"Can you keep a straight face?" Roy demanded. 

"I was married to Rupert. Of course I can. What's happened?"

"Nothing bad," Keeley started, "Roy and I have decided to get married." Rebecca squealed quietly but kept a total poker face. "In 10 weeks."

"Why the rush?"

"We wanted to have a surprise wedding in the summer break before the new season starts. We're going to get everyone there by disguising it as Roy's 40th."

"So why do I have to know?"

"Because neither of us can keep a secret from you! Also, we want you to officiate?"

"You want what?!" Rebecca shouted, eyes swiveled to see what the fuss was. She smiled and waved their looks away, "Sorry, Roy wants us to ermm… do a ermmm…"

"Nude charity calendar for next year! All of you and Rebecca as well." Keeley supplied. Rebecca agreed with a tight smile. 

"Yep. Yep, that's it." A handful of cheers and whoops went up around the room and everyone went back to business. Ted raised his eyebrows and went back to talking to Leslie. "You want me to do what?" She hissed. 

"You wouldn't be a maid of honour, you'll tell me you're too old."

"You won't be my best woman, you'll fob me off with one of these knobs instead."

"So we wanted a role for you which shows exactly what you mean to us. We want you to marry us. Also we want you to sing our wedding dance song, but I felt like I should lead with the legal bit. You have to apply for the license so we needed to tell you straight away." Keeley beamed adoringly at her best friend. 

"Will you do it, blondie?" She sighed.

"Of course I will you fucking idiots. I'd be honoured." Her bottom lip wobbled slightly. 

"Keep it together, big secret remember." Roy hugged her gratefully. She nodded. 

"I guess I'll see you in my office in the morning?" Keeley nodded,

"Oh, looks like Ted is off." He made his way over, poised for a goodbye. "Time to go already, Ted?"

"Sure is. At least I got to see y'all for a bit longer this time."

"You'll be back again before you know it." Keeley said with a twinkle.

"I'm sure I will. Bye guys, you take care." He made his way round with hugs and kisses, reaching Rebecca last. "See you soon," he started before holding her tightly and whispering into her ear, "I swear it gets harder to leave you. Goodnight Becca." He kissed under her earlobe, warmth spread through her body like wildfire and before he could move away, he heard her wimper. He gave her a last look before calling out and waving to everyone else. 

She lasted 10 minutes before she left as we'll, passing it off as being a late night and expecting a busy Monday. She caught Mae just as the front of the pub was getting locked up. 

"You can go up through the bar, love. He's not long got back. You'll have to leave out the back though - that's the out of hours b&b door. Room 6."

"Thanks, Mae."

"Good result today."

"It was indeed. Shame you can't come to a match, you'll have to leave this place in safe hands and come spend a day in the owners box with me."

"I'd love to darlin', but I don't trust none of those wankers with my pub on match day!" The elder woman replied with a laugh. Rebecca crept upstairs, not wanting to disturb other guests. If he was surprised to see her, he didn't show it. He just held the door open and stepped behind her to close it quietly again. She pushed him back against the door, pressing her body against him. 

"I thought you said-" she silenced him with a kiss, biting his bottom lip, requesting access. He granted it, letting her deepen the kiss as her hands trailed to the bottom of his t-shirt. She slipped her hands underneath and tickled her fingertips across his stomach. 

"If you don't want this, say so now and I'll leave." She could feel him hardening against her and palmed him over his khakis, making him groan into her mouth. "This ok?" She asked, pulling back a little. He nodded and she raised an eyebrow. 

"Yes, don't stop." He understood the silent request. She pulled his t-shirt off first before moving to undo his belt. She got to her knees in front of him, pulling the khakis and his boxers down as she went. She took his hard length in hand, running her thumb over the tip. He bucked against her and she grinned up at him. "Jesus, fuck Rebecca."

"Something wrong?" She stroked him slowly, taking her time. 

"Seeing you like this, I ain't gonna last long baby-"  She ignored him and carried on before running her tongue along the underside of his cock. His head fell back against the door, hands clenched at his sides. Once she'd taken him fully into her mouth and found her rhythm, she moved her hands from the front of his thighs to hold his hands, unclenching the fists and giving him a reassuring squeeze. She guided his hands to her head, moaning around him in response to his pleasure. It didn't take long for him to run a hand through her hair and give it a gentle pull. She pulled off, the sound an obscene pop. "Please, Becca, I want you." He offered her a hand so she could get up. He went to undo the buttons of her dress but she batted his hands away, shaking her head. Instead she guided him to the sofa and pushed him to sit down. She took a step back and unhooked the buttons herself, pulling the dress over her head and leaving her only in lingerie before him. She straddled his lap, moving her underwear to one side. 

"I thought of you when I brought this set." She admitted, sliding down onto him. He held her hips, letting her set the pace. "Everytime I come, I think about you." She ground her hips down, moaning with the relief of finally having him inside her again. His hands roamed her back, unclipping her bra and then pulling her closer. Her hands dragged up his chest, winding around his neck and up to pull his hair. "I thought I had my feelings for you locked away enough so that they'd never get out." He couldn't take his eyes off her as she rocked down into him, inviting him deeper and deeper. "You've fucking wrecked me, Ted-" she continued with a groan "I just need you. I only ever need you."

"You got me baby, fuck Becca you feel so good." He bit into the soft flesh of her shoulder and roughly palmed her nipple as she increased her pace but held him tighter, the friction and angle turning her confessions into babbling expletives until his name over and over was the only coherent sound. 

"Ted-" she whined frantically, begging him to save her, release her. 

"Come on now sweetheart, come for me." He caught her mouth in a filthy kiss, wrapped an arm around her waist and met her thrusts, holding her in place and helping her stuttering hips get her through to her peak. She came with a sob, returning his kiss and continued riding his cock until he came into her moments later. She came to a gradual stop and fell against him. They sat still for a few minutes, her forehead on his shoulder, breathing steadying. She felt him soften inside her and brought herself up onto her knees to move off the sofa. He held her hands until she settled on her shaky legs. "Will you stay?" He asked quietly. 

"No, Ted. Not this time." She cleared up quickly and left him at the top of the stairs, "I'll see you in a few months." He looked confused, "Roy and Keeley are getting married. Don't tell anyone. I'm not supposed to tell anyone but apparently I can't keep secrets from you any more." She rolled her eyes and snuck out the back as Mae had requested. 

Ted didn't sleep before his 6am flight back to Kansas.

[contradictoryenigmas]

2023 Postmortem: 10 Questions

Phew, 2023 is almost over and I for one am glad to see it go. Considering I felt last year was one of my more difficult years, 2023 must have thought I was throwing down the gauntlet and decided to up the ante. Various points throughout the year saw me reach my breaking point. Somehow I was able to pull myself back from no return, but at a great cost to my mental and physical self.

This has been one of the hardest ten-question pieces I've written as I was trying to find a good balance of talking about the difficult parts while also making sure to find the positive points that happened - no matter how short it felt like.

Buckle up, it's going to be a ride of sorts.

Author’s Note: If you are new to this or want to take a look back at previous pieces, you can click on the links here: 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022.

What made up your body of work this year? Which parts are you most proud of?

95 percent of my work this year was for the day job. Whether was researching various specifications for vehicles, dealing with various issues from customers, or determining what we needed to be keeping an eye on down the road in terms of features. Most of the year has felt like a slog with a neverending list of vehicles coming in and a shrinking staff that felt like we couldn't keep up. I felt even more drained than last year.

Towards the end brought some much-needed good news. A few new people came to our team and brought down the workload by a large amount. At least it doesn't feel like we are playing catch-up anymore.

A bright spot for the year was being added to our internal news service editorial staff. This allows me to help in the process of publishing stories by doing copy edits and going over changes with co-workers. It also allows me to keep my writing skills somewhat sharp.

Speaking of writing, there was barely any of it for the year. This year's ten-question piece is the first thing I have really written for 2023. It comes down to me not having the spark or desire to write anything. I haven't been lacking ideas. The past year in the automotive has been fruitful with electric cars making inroads, questions about fuel economy and affordability, autonomous driving, Tesla, and more. Yet, I haven't any desire to take these ideas from the head and put them out there in the world.

What were your top 5 moments of the year? Being added to the editorial staff for our internal news service Seeing both of my parents retire Taking time off to help me recharge Spending a bit more time playing video games Making some inroads on finding a new job

(It was difficult trying to figure out the top five as it felt like a lot of the year was filled with so many negative things. Trying to scrounge up any good moments is quite hard).

What are you really glad is over?

I don't have a good answer to this as I have several things up in the air as 2023 comes to a close.

How are you different today than you were 365 days ago?

My mental health has been on a roller coaster of sorts. I'll have good days where it seems nothing could go wrong, and days where I find myself in the murky depths, wondering if I will be able to get out. I had many of these days throughout the year whether due to news, personal, financial, or other items. This explains why I spent a lot of my time in my apartment, sitting or lying down. Didn't want to have others experience the cloud of darkness. I know this is the opposite of what I should be doing - going out, visiting friends, and experiencing new things. But when you're caught between the rock and hard place, and no easy and quick way out - very difficult to get out.

If there is a bright spot, it is how much quicker I have been able to spot myself falling into the spiral and pausing it. I may do some journaling, go for a walk, listen to some music, or lie down to help reset myself. The more I catch myself going into a depression cycle, the easier it becomes to get out.

My usage of social media has gone down drastically throughout the year. A lot of this can attributed to Elon Musk's decisions on the service formally known as 'Twitter'. I have stopped posting there since late Spring after setting up accounts on BlueSky and Mastadon. I find myself using BlueSky more as there more people I follow from 'Twitter' who have come over. But it isn't the same as it once was and I cannot fully put my finger as to why.

Is there anything you achieved that you forgot to celebrate?

How much progress I have been making on the job hunt. I started this in earnest back in late Spring. While most of the opportunities I have applied for have either not gone anywhere or picked a different candidate, I have started to feel more at ease with writing out cover letters and presenting my best self during interviews. It still is quite stressful and takes a lot out of me. But with what I have learned throughout the year, I think the job hunt in 2024 will prove to be fruitful.

What have you changed your perspective on this year?

That it is ok to take a break from the news. Considering how this year has felt like a raging waterfall of news seemingly breaking every hour of each day, I had to significantly cut back on the news. I may read a summary of what happened during the day or just go dark, depending on my mood. I may not be as up-to-date as other people, but it does make me feel less like impending doom is coming.

This year has also brought forth how lonely I'm been since COVID-19 made its way to the U.S. It oddly stemmed from me binging many Unsolved Mysteries hosted by Robert Stack. The music and Robert Stack's presentation sent chills down my spine as they did when I was a young kid. I needed somebody to bring me back down to earth and comfort me. It's a ridiculous way to find out you're still dealing with loneliness, but it helped put it into perspective. I've only seen my co-workers only a few times this year, and have only talked with a close friend of mine throughout the year. The remaining friends haven't heard a peep from me since last year or more.

There is something you are taught when you start off in computer security; finding a balance between security and convenience. It boils down to determining the right amount of lockdown and ease of entry into a given environment. For example, requiring only one key to enter a vault full of gold makes it very convenient for a person to get in, but it also makes it very tempting for someone to rob. On the opposite, having seven different locks requiring a different way to open a house makes it very secure. But it also makes a pain in the butt when you're trying to escape a rain storm or worse.

I've realized that I have been focusing a bit too much on security for myself while negating the convenience aspect of being around people. I had good reasons as to why, but it also made me feel more lonely as time went on. Figuring out how I can best protect myself while trying to be more personable is a goal for next year.

The last thing I have learned throughout this year is that I cannot force myself to write. This was something I did a lot when I did freelance writing. No words being put on a digital sheet of paper meant no money to keep living. The downside to this was a major loss in quality and originality, something I would attribute to why I lost many assignments and gigs throughout my freelancing life.

Despite wanting to write as I mentioned earlier, I had no motivation or desire to force myself to pull words out of thin air. I realized that I still haven't fully recovered my writing skills to a point where I felt like I could start posting stuff regularly again. I don't know if writing will become a part of me as it once was years back, but I still have that desire to get my thoughts out there in the world. Maybe some writing rehabilitation through practice prompts and journals will help in the new year.

Who are the people that came through for you this year?

I have to give a big thank you to my family who helped me through some difficult times throughout the year. Also worthy of thanks are my therapist, the people who I talk to on BlueSky and Mastodon, and some close friends.

What were some pieces of media that defined your year?

Super Mario RPG

I remember playing the Super Nintendo version of Super Mario RPG and being charmed by its story, characters, and music. The recent remaster for the Switch only amps the charm. I spent a good couple of weeks playing and growing attached to the characters and wanting to see how the story went. When the 'the end' screen came up, I almost started a new playthrough. I may pick this game back in 2024 just to experience the joy again.

Unpacking

A game about unpacking various items and placing them throughout various rooms? Seem a bit tedious for a game, but it works so well. You're being told a story of a person through various moves during their and items. The varying locations and amount of items to place give you an idea of where this person is in their life and dreams and hopes. An idea that seems crazy when you read the description, but works so well when you play it.

Satisfied Mind by Jon Regan

When this song came up during my Discover Weekly on Spotify back in the Summer, it hit me in such a way that I cannot fully express. The lyrics of the song are a guide to what I hope to accomplish down the road.

Honorable Mentions: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom; The Case of the Golden Idol; Amen by The Heavy; Ancient DOS Games on YouTube; the Unf*ck series of books by Dr Faith G Harper; The Honjin Murders by Seishi Yokomizo.

What will you be leaving behind in 2023?

I don't have a really good answer for this prompt. A lot of the issues that came up in 2023 are going to continue into the coming year. At least I have some ideas to make them more bearable as I hope to leave them in 2024.

What do you hope to accomplish in 2023?

Originally, I was going to put [REDACTED] for the various items I hope to accomplish. This allows me to claim whatever I do in the coming year as one of the items on the list. Ultimately, I decided to scrap this idea for the time being. Instead, here is a small list of items I hope to work on in 2024.

Exercise: I was able to do a bit of exercise for a fair chunk of 2023 and it made me feel better both in terms of physical and mental health. Then I stopped doing it for various reasons, and my health has taken a bit of a tumble. Getting an Apple Watch for Christmas has reignited my desire to get back into exercising. Going to start slow to get myself back into it before I start to ratch it up.

Money Stuff: I made some headway on this at the start of the year by monitoring how money was being spent. That's all I got to without starting to set up a plan and I just ended up not monitoring it. This would prove to be a bad idea as unexpected issues came up such as replacing the front suspension on my car and draining my bank account. I'm going to start back monitoring my money, along with figuring out a plan to where I can cut back on some spending items and start stashing more money.

A new gaming computer: I was able to finally replace my old MacBook Pro with a new MacBook Air. It is really nice in terms of size, performance, and quietness. Now, I need to figure out a replacement for my current gaming PC. It is getting up there in age and will shut off when playing newer games. Whether I decide to build one or do a pre-built from somewhere is up in the air at the moment.

There are some other goals I would to accomplish like finding some time to travel and working towards a new car, but these depend on various factors like trying to find a new job to jump-start them.

I thought 2023 would be the year where I would be able to make some progress in various areas. But it turned it to be one of the toughest years to date. There are many things I haven't mentioned either because they were too personal or I am still working out how to talk about them. I find it tough to be hopeful at the end of this year and to look forward to the next considering what lies ahead - the next presidential election being a key item.

But I do know that I want 2024 to be an improvement over 2023, and to get there, I need to put in a fair amount of work. But also give myself time to rest and comprehend. The Christmas break for me has been spending a lot of time sleeping to try and regain some sort of energy,

Fingers crossed that 2024 works out.

[jumpybox]

Here ya go guys, my next dump of ideas/points that I would of made into a fic if I wasn’t lazy enough to do so. Srsly, I would LOVE to do it, but I need motivation I guess xD hopefully this new year helps me somehow! Anyway, here is more of this!

so far Future!Michelangelo here is named Nikkō (I just ended up liking that name a lot) , just in case it gets confusing x,D

TW: survivor’s guilt (just in case)

It's half a year later that he accidentally ends up meeting with one of the other mutant turtles while he was doing a grocery run while Yua was at work.

Nikko was just trying to get his mom's fave fruit to make dessert with it for today but instead he ends up getting swept away with the shenanigans that Raph and Casey Jr are in

And wouldn't you know it? Just because he was a turtle (tortoise , he corrects himself ) the people chasing the duo think he is part of the lil group and because Raph feels bad about it, just scoops up the 11 year old in his arms and flees with him

Its a while before they stop getting followed and Nikko coughs a bit to let Raph know he is still in his arms.

"Aww sorry about that lil guy, you good?" Nikko tries his hardest to not tear up at hearing his brother(no, not his brother anymore) using that nickname, of course any other time he would of disliked being called that but by the spirits, he missed that.

In the end he ends up sniffing and crying because no matter if his soul/mystic energy is 30+ years older, right now he is in the body of a child and he had tried hard to not let his own horros and traumas affect him during this year and a half since he came back in time

Raph panics, thinking he said or hurt the tortoise and CJ, trying his best, decides to pat Nikko's shoulder, only for the two of them to get zapped, both squeaking/screeching at that.

Raph worries when he sees CJ fall to the floor, his whole body shaking, his eyes trained on the zapped hand

Nikko on the other hand takes advantage of the other two being distracted to run away the best he could, after all running wasn't his best yet, but he doesn't want to be questioned about what just happened.

And Nikko should be happy to have met a part of the family but he doesn't feel like he belongs anymore, he shouldn't be here and isn't that messed up? Why was he still here? He understood Casey, he was still growing, a kid, he shouldn't have to have grown in a place like what that future had held for them, he deserves this second chance

But him? Michelangelo? He was done, he had lived enough and ...and he missed his brothers so much...why was he alive still?

Nikko locks himself up in his room for a week, he knows he is worrying Yua, but right now? He can't be there for her, he had been holding all this emotions for a year and a half!...and he just needs to break down for a while.

It's after that week that he decides to talk to Yua, to tell her about who he really is.

And they talk and talk and he breaks down again but this time he is getting hugged and consoled while he keeps going thru his story, how he lost his family and friends, how he shouldnt be here but he was

"I just...I'm so so tired" he admits with a whisper, resting his head on her chest, accepting the way those arms around him tighten a bit more

"My sweet Nikko, my sunshine...you held all of this all this time? ...I'm sorry, baby" and she means it, he can tell that she is also crying along with him, because she had a big heart and was a bit sensitive to other's emotions.

"I know you are tired" she keeps going, voice soft and petting his carapace. "But can I tell you my theory as to why you're here?" And he nods, raising his eyes to look at her, his golden eyes shining

"Because you see? No matter how much this is a new timeline, they still need you...they are still your family, even if you don't share their DNA anymore, because this" she taps his plaston, where his heart is. "This still loves them just as much as if they were your own brothers from that time" 

Nikko stares at her and just clings to her after a few seconds have passed, crying again, this time just  thanking the Spirits for having met Yua, for having her as his mom in this new chance of life.

After that its another two more weeks that go by, Nikko still feels like he shouldn't be here, but its just a little bit less than before and he feels like he can go back to the city and walk around (he had honestly been worried of meeting CJ again, as much as he wanted to meet the lil kiddo teenager, he didn't want to cause chaos)

But of course life never was that kind to him and his brothers, was it? 

stopping there for now! I’m always up for ideas/suggestions o/

Future Mikey back in time

cus I'm still on about it and have another version for it so far so here are mainly stuff that happened during it so far...I'm always up for questions/suggestions/ideas to implement! Either one day I write it or try drawing it...but writing seems more possible for me hehehe...anyway!

Michelangelo after using all his mystic powers to open the portal , somehow ends up going back in time himself

Yet its not with his own body, no, his energy and soul ends up in the Mikey from that time, and it ends up in a dormant state

Mikey during the following months starts getting nightmares of Michelangelo's future/past and his mystic powers getting stronger each passing day

At first Mikey hides it from everyone but after a sudden surge of the mystic making his arms hurt a lot, he admits to his family that he seemed to not be able to control it

Mikey soon starts getting lessons from Draxum

A few weeks after Mikey starts that, the boys get into a fight with a new mutant villain that can control plants (its a sort of butterfly mutant) 

During one of the attacks, Mikey gets thrown against a wall and gets knocked out for a few seconds

Its during that time that Michelangelo finally wakes up, opening the eyes of the body he was in, only to groan in pain 

Michelangelo during all that time had been awake and knew what was going on, if anything he feared that the body he was inside wouldn't be able to control more of the mystic power.

So while he gets help from Leo to stand up, Michelangelo decided to use his mystic powers to put a stop to the mutant.

Of course he uses them flawlessly but at the same time he had meant to do that to try and …

Michelangelo tries to stop existing, he was aware that he couldn't be a part of his younger self, it was unnatural, not how it should go.

If anything, he was pleased during those months to have been able to see Casey again, starting a new life as a normal teenager should….or as normal as someone with PTSD from an Apocalypse could be

And...he was glad to see the rest of his family, he really was, if anything he wished his Leonardo could see all of this.

The body he is in, suddenly starts to lose consciousness and he can feel part of the mystic power go out of it, at least with that Mikey will be able to slowly be able to control the mystic powers instead of being some kind of ticking time bomb because of Michelangelo.

The body faints once more and this time Mikey doesn't wake up after three days.

Michelangelo had thought that he would finally reunite with his family but instead he wakes up with a startle, coughing out water and feeling his whole body in pain and hard to move.

He questions himself if death is supposed to feel like that but once he opens his eyes, he is met with a pair of heterochromatic eyes that have tears in them.

"THANK THE ALL MIGHTY YOU ARE ALIVE MY CHILD!" The loud voice makes Michelangelo whine softly and he can hear the person holding him gasp and whisper 'sorry' before cradling him close to a chest.

And that was the first time Michelangelo met Yua ('binding love and affection') , a witch-yokai that had been experimenting for decades in the hope of being able to make a child of her own

So sue her, she might or might not have stolen Baron Draxum's idea(or papers, you can’t prove anything, everything exploded that time...she might or might not have also something to do with the lab destruction... Again, no evidence found) of super soldiers mutant and instead of soldiers, just trying to make a family for her own to raise.

Of course she wasn't really an expert or knew what was missing, but she had ended up successfully being able to create a mutant child, a Red Footed Tortoise type.

Sadly the poor thing didn't seem to have a conscious of himself and even seemed to be in a vegetable state, yet Yua refused to exterminate him, he was the first to  survive of many other types she had tried before.

So after 10 years of taking care of the body of her child (making sure of taking him out of the magic filled tank she would put him in to help with keeping his body stable, to move his limbs and exercise them) the moment she didn't think would happened, happened and that was the awakening of her child.

Of course she had been worried, she hadn't even attached the breathing gas before he took a deep breath and started to choke.

So that's how it had happened and Michelangelo or Asahi/Nikkō( 'sunlight'/'sunshine') was once more living and in a new body at that. 

He isn't sure how to feel about this second? Third? Chance in living but he guessed that he had to keep his family waiting for him for a bit longer, because he wasn't about to leave his new mom alone...stars, she was a mess and she needed him.

Nikko has to admit, the first few months he starts living with her are a bit hard on his poor body, after all, the muscles weren't fully there yet and as much as Yua copy Draxum's notes, she didn't exactly make a super soldier, sure, his body is regenerating but is not as fast as if he had been in his old body, still he is happy to slowly start moving or crawling around the first few months

And speaking! Its hard because again, this body didn't have the chance to speak during those 10 years

Its after a year of rehabilitation, love and dedication from Yua that Nikko(Michelangelo) can walk a certain amount(with help of a cane) and talk 

And Nikko has to admit, Yua is the best parent he has met in all his life...well Splinter was a good parent too but...not good good, if he had to be honest.

Yua is from Japan but moved to the hidden city many decades ago .Why? Because she just got bored and wanted a new change in her life...and maybe because she had done something that had her kicked out of her Clan.

Nikko tries to ask about the Family, Clan, but he can tell that it is some kind of a sore spot for his mom, so he instead enjoys listening to her when she talks about other stuff.

Imma keep writing more but honestly I would love more ideas! Also sorry if some phrases sound weird, I talk more in Spanish than in English, so my mind just translates some stuff weird lol

[neiptune]

crushing so hard they do/say something impulsive

ft: kyojuro, giyuu, shinobu, sanemi, obanai

They basically have it really bad for you

Kyojuro

this man isn't really familiar with the concept of impulsiveness

everything he says and does is genuine

more often than not also random af

so you've grown used to his style

however

when he realizes just how much he likes you

like, likes likes you

not just as one of his most cherished comrades

he starts to fuck up in the sweetest way

and is louder than usual

often sounds like a personal trainer

"your breathing technique was excellent but I'm sure you can do better!"

"wow, your running speed sure has improved!"

his levels of self-awareness rocket skyhigh whenever you're around

so when you approach him after a pillar meeting

all smiles and warm cheeks

he's internally freaking out

always so excited whenever you talk to him

"hey, I know you're about to travel north-east, I am too! Would you like–"

"YOU'RE VERY MUCH WELCOME TO JOIN ME!!!!!"

why is he screaming

nevertheless you smile, a little taken aback

"I'd love t–"

"IN FACT YOU'RE VERY MUCH WELCOME TO JOIN ME FOREVER!"

sorry what

Giyuu doesn't really understand

Giyuu

you seem to always be around for some reason

even at his estate

you know he has people working for him

taking care of him

yet you keep showing up with soup

baked bread

fresh fruit from your garden

you always seem willing to interact with him

and he doesn't get why

but he likes how quickly you adapt

and just sit in silence, never pressuring him to speak

or have a conversation

but suddenly he wants to have a conversation

and he tries his hardest

bc he wants to know more about you

so he asks questions

not always the right ones

and sometimes he can sound like a recruiting manager

"do you enjoy being a slayer?"

"why did you want to become one?"

people often tell him he's too stoic

so he does his best not to make the conversation boring

or die off

but panics easily

and you can look particularly beautiful in the afternoon light

especially if you smile at him or lean closer, arm practically brushing his

so he just abruptly gets up and leaves the room without saying a word

cup of tea knocked over

while you just sit there with a giant question mark hovering above your head

is it even possible not to develop a crush on her

Shinobu

beautiful poison queen

anyway

she's been on a few missions with you

also has seen you naked bc you know, injuries to check, wounds to stitch up

she's very professional always

but you're just so gorgeous

and you hug her so frequently

she starts feeling protective

and frustrated whenever she's not around you

irritated when she doesn't get to sit next to you during a meeting

annoyed a reasonable amount when you're assigned to a mission with Mitsuri

scared shitless when you get back heavily wounded and don't wake up for a good two weeks

more than enough time for her to fully grasp just how much she cares about you

to remember each time you softly nudged her with your shoulder when you thought she wasn't listening

each time your hand almost met hers, fingers barely brushing each other, aching to actually intertwine

of course the second you open your eyes she's there

fists clenched around the fabric of her uniform

"don't you dare do that again"

you furrow your brows

"do what again?"

shinobu pauses for a second, then her intense gaze suddenly meets yours

"almost leave me without you" , she mutters angrily, voice so low you can barely hear it

your features take 0,01 seconds to soften

your hand finds hers in even less time

"shinobu, i would never"

almost chokes on her spit bc it's the first time you call her by her name

oh he is the master of pining

Sanemi

just completely clueless

has no idea he has a crush on you

everybody else does

obanai has been on the verge of telling him several times

then decided it'd be more amusing to watch the events unfold

sanemi finds himself gravitating towards you without even noticing

he insists on training with you

on accompanying you if your destination is too far away

"because your sense of orientation is shit"

subconsciously tries to be around you as much as he can

and gets worried at the smallest incidents

still keeps his confusingly rude attitude tho

so let's say if you trip his brain goes "fuck i hope they're okay"

but his mouth goes "watch it, idiot"

you find it amusing so you start to tease him bc he's cute when he's uncomfortable

and you like getting on his nerves

and having an excuse to be closer to him

so when you're on your way to the village you're supposed to patrol together

and you stop to eat something under the shade of a tree

you lean dangerously close a few times

"wow, your bento looks great!"

"look at that flower over there!"

"sorry, i thought i heard something"

you can sense him growing more tense by the minute

"oh i think i can see the vill–"

"Can you–", he snaps and you hardly suppress a laugh as he struggles to find the words, tips of ears red as ever, "fuck! how do you even smell that good all the fucking time?"

didn't see that coming

now it's your turn to blush

how the turntables

took a ridiculous amount of time for you to get close to him

Obanai

by getting close i mean having him say hello back

and not minding your company when he's on a tree

you were so excited you had that trait in common when you first met him

basically spent half your childhood climbing trees

and falling from them

he was the only pillar who spent more time in the air than on the ground

and you found it interesting

all his usual stay-away-from-me threatening smoke screens were crushed by your sweet smile

you are everything he's not, he reminds himself

warm, kind, affectionate

so he still tries to keep you away

after all he's rude, uninterested, harsh, unpleasant, ugly

yet you still long for his company for some reason

even kaburamaru likes you

so obanai eventually yet reluctantly agrees to share branches with you

he mostly listens, since you talk a lot

about your day, last mission, family, brothers, he's just constantly being filled up with information about your life

which he doesn't mind

he's actually kinda glad you still get to have a fairly normal one

becomes painfully aware of the crush he starts developing

doesn't like it one bit

doesn't help one bit that you seem so inexplicably fond of him as well

one day there you are again, sitting on the opposite side of his same branch, feet dangling as you take in the morning sun

then you look at him, who was already looking at you

your expression is suddenly very serious as you get closer, one hand extended and getting dangerously close to his face

he freaks tf out

next thing you know you're on the ground

what the fuck obanai

"did you just push me off a tree?", you're speechless

all you wanted was to take a leaf out of his hair

[heartfullofleeches]

Soo... Selene with a reader that also have a domestic spirit but have to work, so they wake up a little early so they can make her breakfast? 🥺

Seriously I just want to spoil this woman so much....!!

"What's your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?"

The question came from nowhere. Selene flushes from being put on the spotlight; stammering.

"O-oh, well, I'd probably have to say blueberry pancakes. My mother actually convinced me I had an allergy till I was about eight due to me going through a whole cart by myself when I was a baby before she had a chance to eat a single one. Why do you ask, dear?"

"No reason..."

-

The next morning, Selene wakes to noise in the kitchen. Removing her sleeping mask, she finds that the sun hadn't even fully risen; the clock beside her reading a little after dawn. She usually got up an hour later to make you some breakfast or pack something for lunch. You weren’t in the bed either. How odd. Slipping on her house shoes and robe, she heads into the kitchen to see what was going on.

"Y/n?"

Entering the room, she finds you hunched over the waffles iron; mixing bowl and a cartoon of blueberries beside you. A small stack of the cakes had already been filled to a plate, you adding another to the pile as she walks in. Hearing her voice, you look back.

"Oh, hey, Selene. I was just about to come wake you up."

"What are you doing?"

"Making you breakfast. You always do the same for me, and I don't usually have the time to make you anything due to work, so I got up early today."

You pick up the plate and set it on the kitchen table, pulling the chair out for her. "Come on before they get cold."

Selene walks over and sits down. Alongside the waffles; syrup, flowers, and a small note rest on the table. You had seen the vase while you were out picking up the fruit; deciding to add them to the surprise. A smile made from blueberries had been arranged over the waffles with too eyes to match. Before picking up her fork, Selene skims over the note.

"Have a good day. Love you! - Y/n."

A warmth hotter than anything she's ever felt spreads across Selene’s face; spreading to her chest. She tries to find words to say, but they all feel too dull to properly convey the way she was feeling right now. This is what it feels like - to be loved; she reminds herself. You had displayed tokens of affection in the past, but every new one always felt like the very first time. There wasn't anything she wouldn't give to show you how happy she was.

"Selene?.. Are you alright?"

She hasn't even realized she started crying; a stream running from her right eye. She quickly wipes them away.

"Yes.. of course, yes, I'm just... so happy right now it's hard to put into words. Thank you, honey."

You smile, kissing the side of her head. "No problem. I have to go get ready, but I'll see you before I head out."

You wonder off, leaving her in the afterglow of the occasion. Picking up her knife and fork, Selene takes her first bite. She can taste the love that you poured into each waffle; trying her hardest not to cry like a baby. She had always been such a sucker to her emotions.

After you shower, and kiss her goodbye, Selene sorts through the cookbooks her father had left her; searching for the perfect meal for dinner. She heads out and buys you the biggest bouquet of roses she could find; picking up an adorable stuffed animal she spotted match. She planned to do everything in her power to show you just how much she appreciated you and that she loved you just as much as you did her, if not moreso.

[sevikasmainwhore]

Sevika x Bimbo!Reader

This has been on my mind for a while and i just really wanted write it. Sorry for keeping y’all waiting 😅 I didn’t know how to go about it but i think this should be good. leave your thoughts if you’d like 🌸 please forgive any spelling mistakes, i’m trying

Requested ⇢ Yes/No

Type ⇢ Hc’s ❥

NSFW !!proceed with caution!! !!mdni!!

♡You both met at the brothel, you were one of the really cute and perky ones and she just enjoyed watching you

♡ After maybe what felt like for ever Sevika finally made up her mind by asking you to be her lover.

♡ You were confused at first but after thorough explains you said yes and it sealed the deal with you and her for life

♡ Sevika absolutely enjoys teasing you and you being so oblivious to her teasing.

♡ She questions how have you made it this far in the undercity. You’ve had to have some kind of protection

♡ of course your always on her lap whether it be when she’s playing cards or just sitting around in the last drop with a drink

♡ it’s like your only seat in the place.

♡ also your too cute and too friendly to be left alone. you wouldn’t be able to tell if someone was flirting with you or not.

♡ There’s been too many cases where someone flirted with you by accident not knowing who you were dating.

♡ you trip over a lot which worries sevika because the undercity isn’t exactly a place where you should be falling.

♡ there has even been cases where you’ll trip over thin air and she’ll catch you a chuckle

♡ “ is it too windy in here, or are you just that clumsy pumpkin?”

♡ sevika try’s her hardest to find you small cute things to bring back to you after every dirty deed

♡you often feel bad because she does so much for you so you try to find her things that she’ll like.

♡ she reassured you that you just being there with her is everything she could ever ask for.

♡ you and jinx get a long really well. it was a surprise to sevika but she didn’t argue

♡ silco argues with sevika and always tells her she could do better than you to which she respectfully disagrees but rants to you behind closed doors

♡ you wonder off an awful lot so sevika had gifted you a collar with “property of sevika” as the tag. that way people know not to touch you or anything of that nature

♡ you never take it off. why would you?

Tw: spitting, leashes, fingering, smoking, thigh riding

♡ Tying back into the collar, it came with its very own leash that Sevika used whenever she fucks you.

♡ she’ll tug and yank on it whenever you’re misbehaving or just being a brat

♡ she absolutely loves fingering you in public. she’ll either be discreet about it or not.

♡ she’s just reminding everyone who you belong too that’s all

♡ as much as you’ll beg and beg for her to help you get yourself off, she only makes excuses and just watch you struggle

♡ “what if i hurt that pretty pussy of yours, huh?” “i know you can do it.”

♡ if you’re ever being a brat out in public she’ll take you into an alleyway and spit in your mouth as punishment and just leave you all frustrated and bothered for the rest of the night

♡ at the most random times throughout the day, she’ll ask for your panties.

♡ you’ll stare at her in shock but obey anyway because who are you to disobey sevika?

♡ “Give me your panties” she’ll whisper in your ear. You stare at her in shock. “But I need those” Sevika smirks “Don’t you wanna be a good girl for me?”

♡she smokes whenever you ride her thigh, that way she shotgun you while you whine

♡watching the smoke come from your mouth while you whimper just does things to her.

♡ she doesn’t use her strap all the time on you because she just loves the rawness of it all

♡but when she does, she doesn’t hold back. broke the headboard on multiple occasions.

♡ “you’re just a hole for me to fuck aren’t you?” “you like this shit?” “such a good girl for me”

♡ sevika isn’t always mean when it comes down to fucking you though

♡ her aftercare is TOP NOTCH

♡ she’ll let you rest while she gets a warm cloth and water and maybe some fruit if you want it

♡ isn’t too big on cuddles after sex but will be completely willing if you want too

♡ whisper sweet words in your ear until you fall asleep

♡ “you took me so well” “you did amazing baby” “so beautiful”

♡ soft kisses on your forehead

♡ sevika couldn’t have asked for a better lover 💖