#also yeah we tried to speak to them
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Can someone please Help me learn ignoring very loud neighbors please. I am so very Close to having an anxiety Attack because of it
#guys no joke#they have been loudly rummaging#singing and yelling#ever since they moved in 2 months ago#every day it sounds like they are either moving in or out AGAIN#you can't have so much furniture in your house TO HAVE TO MOVE IT AROUND THREE TIMES A DAY#also yeah we tried to speak to them#they speak neither german nor english nor spanish#so we gave them a very nice letter in slowenian#in which we kindly remind them that everyone in this house looks after one another#we gave them this letter together with sweets#and they returned the sweets#together with a letter of their own#where they said#OUR CHILD IS LITTLE WE CANT TO ANYTHING ALSO YOUR DOG BARKED ONCE!!!!!!!!ONCE AT NIGHT SO WE CAN DO WHAT WE WANT!!!!#YOUR CHILD IS NOT DOING A STAMPEDE UPSTAIRS ITS FUCKING 1 YEAR OLD#ALSO YOUR CHILD IS NOT PARTYING AT 2 O CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING#i can't read anymore without headphones#i can't sleep anymore w/o headphones#i am watching television right now with headphones#i am fucking going insane
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though š i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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The whole ending for the main timeline kinda sucks for Zaun, even the one good thing they get is backhanded as fuck.
Like sure, Sevika is on the council- but the council relies on majority vote, and every other member of the council only work in the interests of themselves or of piltover. Nobody else cares about Zaun, so nothing will change.
And Piltover shows they will alway protect and prioritize their own over everything else
Cait gets no consequences for her actions from the last two acts, despite doing many, many crimes. She released the Gray on the Undercity- which is going to cause disease, death, etc to many innocent people (the same disease Viktor was dying of, it was a direct result of Piltoverās oppression and the gray- I could go on and on about his ending but I shanāt.), arresting random Zaunites- including children- and just leaving them in prison, and even tho we hate Singed, threatening to throw him under the fucking prison was a little far. She gave him the opportunity to either join her or die. So the people of Zaun are animals and criminals until theyāre useful?
And the scene of the Noxian guy (canāt remember his name) literally torturing that Jinxer??? Ambassaās dead and so is he, so I guess thats their consequence, but nothing for Cait? No, Cait gets to have a nice life, she might feel guilty and maybe sheāll have a couple nightmares but really sheās not facing a single consequences You guys remember when Jayce almost got exiled for Hextech in season one? A crime in which nobody died or was grievously harmed? Yet there are no consequences Caitlyn hmmm
After everything the people of Zaun have gone through, they get nothing- they see their oppressor hailed as a hero, they see their children die of a disease that should never have touched the new generation (or just straight up suffocate while it was actively being deployed- if they get caught in that they are dead- little lungs and little legs yk- if they canāt escape it then they die) they see their only hope (Sevika) repeatedly shot down by the council, they see the abuse will continue. Even after everything they lost- all those who fought in Piltovers war- they get nothing. They helped, they worked with them when working against them didnāt work, and they still get nothing.
I think Ekkoās ending really drives it home- the ONE character who deserves the world above everybody else is sitting alone in the end. He did everything right but was still alone. If he -and Jinx- hadnāt rallied their forces and convinced the people of Zaun to fight then Piltover would have lost to Noxius. He convinced his people to fight and die for Piltover- but Caitās the hero, and heās still fighting for his own people.
#I have a friend#and we were talking about if we were in arcane where would we be#I said Zaun- being poor + queer + POC + having experienced police brutality and racism-classism first hand#they said piltover#and I remembered we came from two entirely different words#when I said ādamn siding with the oppressorsā they said āno just the money and nice clothes and hextech seem cool lolā#they donāt see that the reason they have those things is because they are the ruling class#they have what they have because they are the oppressors#they are privileged- my friend- so they canāt relate to Zaun#they have never had to go hungry- to worry about having a place to live- to worry about anything#they can not relate to struggling- to fighting for your life and fighting those who hate you but just existing#to being twelve years old pinned to the wall by cops#theyāve never lived on the street#everything was handed to them- so they side with piltover- because thatās who they see themselves in#just wanted to add that- in case anyone was wondering why some people defend piltover and Cait so much ^#I love arcane#but fucking Christ that ending was so bleak#(also Cait fans being extremely racist to Ekkoās voice actorā¦yeah I see why yāall like her)#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane#arcane ekko#arcane caitlyn#arcane zaun#arcane piltover#Ik this is my freaky blog but I had to speak my truth somewhere#number one jinx defender btw#so what if she blew up the people that were oppressing her and her city and tried to get HER FATHER to turn her in#I donāt give a fuck about nobody in Piltover AT ALL#I think that little factoid is forgotten#that piltover- Jayce- tried to get Silco to trade lives- his daughter for the people of Zaun
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THERES A NEW CAT IN MY NEIGHBOURHOOD!!!!
#this is big news#when we first moved here a few years ago there were 3 cats#and I put literally all of my time and effort into befriending them#and did not introduce myself to any of the neighbours LOL#Anyway long story short turns out my partner knew two of our neighbours#and bumped into them and he was like yeah my boyfriend and I just moved into [flat number] and they both looked at each other and were like#weird cat man lives there!!#and apparently use to watch me speaking to the cats bfbfbfb#BUT ANYWAY basically the owners of those cats moved away </33#so have had no friends (cats) for the past year </33#UNTIL TODAY#I tried to pspsps it over but it ran away </33#but I think I can befriend it#at least now people know me and donāt think Iām some weirdo stealing cats#if I put half as much effort into befriending people as I do cats it would probably resolve a lot of issues lol#personal#ALSO those neighbours have offered for me to come up to their flat and pet their two cats but Iām too awkward to#take them up on their invite lol
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My aunt decided a good way to wish me a happy birthday would be to text me a picture of me & my dead dad from my 22nd birthday.
Like yay thanks, I totally wanted to be sad and missing my dad on my birthday. I definitely wasn't trying to do the "out of sight out of mind don't think about sad things" thing to get through it without crying or anything š Definitely wasn't already struggling missing not getting a happy birthday text from him šš
#and like I get that her intentions were good but i find it SO rude#why would you bring up something heart wrenchingly sad to someone on their birthday? Unless they've indicated to you that they want that#it wasn't even like it was a new picture/one she could reasonably believe I hadn't seen before#we literally used a cropped version of that exact photo for his obituary#she has done something similar with EVERY SINGLE holiday since he died#fathers day & his birthday & thanksgiving & christmas all of them we got texts like āi know how hard today must be!ā#like uh no i was doing fine til I got your text actually cuz I was blocking it all out & now your text has forced me to think about it#we're not even that close? Like she legit had never texted me before my dad died#and the last conversation I had with her was her telling me that me needing help with things was co-dependence#rather than a legit need because I am disabled#and that keeping my curtains closed all the time was unhealthy#and when I tried to explain sensory issues she said that she 'gets headaches from the sun sometimes too but you just have to power through'#as if that's the same thing as sensory issues from autism#(which she is apparently an expert on because she is a nurse and has worked with a few young boys with autism)#like literally she claimed she knew better than my actual doctor who diagnoses autism for a living#or my therapist who sees me twice a week (whereas i speak to my aunt MAYBE once a year)#oh also did you know that I should totally be able to hold down a full time job?#because the 18 year old autistic boy she knows whose parents do literally everything to support him and who has zero other responsibilities#and a huge support network trying to meet his needs#well HE'S able to work part time at the movie theater#so obviously that means that I should be able to work too because we're all the same#yeah anyway sorry rant over#it just really upset me#also because I was so upset I forgot I wanted to go to the park on my way home from the weed store š#beth posts
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Can- can I ask about the Somali pirates?
Hi hi, Lili! Yes, of course. Tbh I shouldn't have called them "pirates" they are known as such and treated like villains, but they're more like unofficial naval guard! The official naval guard was disbanded in the 90's due to the civil war that broke out [btw this civil war is why I'm diaspora! My maternal family fled to Djibouti or elsewhere. My dad came to Canada due to it.] Anyway! Other nations took advantage of this as they tended to do and started fishing illegally in the waters! Somali citizens rely on fishing to live [also farming and agriculture bc I also recall there was a drought and famine going on] so they turned to "piracy" to stop these thieves from stealing from them! Of course, these outsiders didn't like it and called it "piracy." they shouldn't be there in the first place!!!
BFJRKRKRKR I TALKED IM THE TAGS AND REACHED THE LIMIT I AM SO SORRY LMAOOOOO
Other than Puntland there is also Jubbaland ok lol I love talking about my people's history too much
#momo's fantastical replies#so anyway I saw other Somali ppl calling them the naval guard and jumped on it#but I have always gotten heated when ppl treated Somali Pirates like villains#but iirc even South Park defended them? lol they even got ppl speaking Somali in it!#talking about how they did this for survival!#lili#lixenn#also yeah sure they fuck ppl up but I consider this a 'fuck around and find out'#stop taking advantage of poor countries!!! especially when they are due to outside meddling forces!!#random but somalia makes me so sad bc of how destablized it is#somaliland is a lot more peaceful and has been but recently its gotten more dangerous due to#Somalia's destablization#djibouti seems fine as ever tho lol happy for them but wish somalia would fuck off already [with somaliland]#lili if you are wondering djibouti/somalia/somaliland and parts of kenya and ethiopoa#ethiopia* are all where Somali ppl are from#the parts of K and E were stolen while Somali ppl were getting colonized [so fuck Kenya and Ethiopia too tbh! who does that?]#but all 5 places are why Somalia's flag is a 5 point star! this siginifies we are all one#its funny bc Somaliland was a country before Somalia but then joined Somalia bc of false promises Somalia made#anyway the false promises was unity but the president/dictator named Mohamed Siad Barre#was all 'we should all band together...and kill Isaaq tribe! true unity after for real though'#and then Darood and I a few other major tribes tried that#Isaaq survived but there was in fact a genocide#they fled to what is Somaliland today! apparently they keep the bullet holes in the structure to remember what Darood/Somalia did#bc to these day these bitches deny it#diaspora somali ppl from somalia are especially insistend of this and im like...you stupid puppet you werent even there#I know this despite being Darood bc my parents arent puppets and also my mom is Isaaq tribe#what else? oh there are other places as Somali ppl within Africa become disapora#so strange right?#there is also Puntland [based off the ancient land that is said to be Ancient Somalia--#fun fact our queen from that time named Queen Arrarwelo was said to be friends with Queen Sheba of ancient Ethiopia]
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I had the feeling my mom has been trying to start shit since I woke up, and then at the end of the day she succeeded in that task, all because I dared to ask when that godawful hallmark Christmas movie was going to end, it was even a very heated argument
#she tried to start with some chores which i did then tried to start shit by saying that i didn't do it then the fucking hallmark movie does#it like i was just asking so i could know when me and my brother could watch our stuff and i started to complain only when she saw starting#ANOTHER hallmark movie and she has her own fucking tv in her bedroom i wouldn't complain about it if it wasn't for that she also has the#childish thing that she goes 'yeah i'll go in a bit' and she makes the whole thing finish and we can't watch shit because then she complain#about the volume of the tv girl you have your tv you can watch your shitty hallmark all you want also because no one likes them other than#you and dad jesus christ#then she starts shit because i told her what she wanted to know š« girl get a fucking grip you sound like your father#raine speaks
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"i thought you said you'd make an effort" MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS ONLY COMPLAINT #1 OUT OF A VERY LONG LIST JUST BE GRATEFUL I CAN WAIT UNTIL THE GUESTS ARE GONE TO SNAP
#YEAH I MAKE AN EFFORT THATS WHY I ONLY COMPLAIN ABOUT THE STUFF I REALLY CANNOT DEAL WITH LONGTERM#god#it's just#incredibly annoying how my mom just goes OUT OF HER WAY to shrink the scope again when i just explained to her what would work#''so you can't speak up and if we do nothing it doesn't work'' yeah no shit then speak up YOU then. like i just said you probably should#i mean. you did say you don't control what guests bring. BUT YES YOU DO#yes you can speak to them about it#you can discuss and make it less systematic#you can express your thoughts#so you actually just lie to sympathize with me but you don't give a shit#and yet you still act like you tried everything like you just don't know what else could be done#i told you what was my problem i told you what would make it better#say you have other priorities#say you expect me to make an effort and not to be the fucking freak i was my whole childhood#that you were kind enough to tolerate most of the time#even though i was sooooo fucking weird when you knew i had problems but couldn't categorize them so why would i need to do things different#say you don't understand why i hurts me if i can ''try to make an effort''#sorry the only kind of family reunion we have is food-based and i can't try and have good relationships w my family if i dont can it#and eat whatever's in front of me so that they can be happy i'm finally normal and grown up#god jesus christ#yeah it IS your house and i don't get to veto or force anything#dont act surprised when your smart plan for dealing with difficult things is expect your kid to shut the fuck up about any problem they hav#and then huh. weird. your kid isn't happy.#i try to foster a good relationship holy shit#i try to go past the things i don't like and compromise and engage w them#how is that not doing my best#i'm sorry i don't feel great when difficult things happen and also i can't control any of it#when you can and you've also shown me many time i can't expect actually meaningful support from you#broadcasting my misery#vent
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sorry everyone ;; it might take longer for me to write these letters but ill try to finish by end of the month
#im also super sorry about last night orz#im still upset but eh we have to keep going unfortunately bc thats just how time works lmao#but yeah it just might take me longer to write them than expected#regardless of yesterday im putting my foot down and giving myself metime today instead of studying till 11 pm/12 am lmao#the only thing im hoping for is if they let me go early today#yesterday there wasnt a lot of activity going on but maybe something today idk#snow speaks#i tried to finish one letter last night before the Bad Stuff happened and well. didnt get to finish it as a result#theres also just a lot of stuff i gotta think about too but š¤·š¼
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i personally think it would've been really funny if angel blades didn't work on human beings
#idk some testament to god's love for humanity#''my children cannot harm my most beautiful creation'' or wtv#metatron tries to stab dean and it's like that scene from knives out#u know when ransom tries to kill marta#also something about cas never wanting to hurt dean and his blade being able to reflect that#my blade is only for dean never against him#cas giving his blade to dean cut me up as you please#which isn't to say angels cant kill ppl i mean we all seen them use their powers on humans#i just think it'd be cool and maybe a little funny#but yeah dean giving cas the first blade = cas handing off his angel blade to dean#i trust you and only you with this. nothing is stopping you from using it against me but i trust that you won't#idk man smth about it#OH. also. proof that even former angels are still decidedly ANGELS. even without powers#i've always hated the whole ''oh i'm human now that my grace is gone'' u cannot just. turn into a human being. ur a different species#cas is still an angel. CAS GETS STABBED BY APRIL AND DEAN IS SCRAMBLING ''WHY IS HE DYING HE'S HUMAN NOW''#cas will never be human ever and that's on god...#he will always be Other. i love that. it also makes former angels MORE vulnerable than regular humans. so crazy#cee speaks
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me and my sister went to the mall today and we ran into hot topic so fucking fast it was unbelievable. me and my sister are literal opposites when it comes to fashion. she picked pink, pastel shit like she was trying to be all uwu kawaii meanwhile im just standing here with my arms full of emo and goth shit, i legit felt like daigo and masato with all this emo drip i had walked out with. (p.s. they should put yakuza stuff in hot topic if they havent already because i have yet to have any yakuza related things in my room </3 also hot topic is like the only store i will shop at)
im so sorry to say these words to you but reading this reminded me of my immortal
#snap chats#I ALSO HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK THOUGH CAUSE I LITERALLY JUST GOT BACK FROM HOT TOPIC AND SPENCERSLKEAKVJA#rubbing off my fucking eyeliner as we speak im no better than a goffick and im sure the stuff you got was actually real fire and im jealous#i actually wore my hakuho pin out today- i pinned it on my back jean jacket. not to flex on you or anything š„“#i remember the day my college friend said something about me being goth and i looked like a dumbass saying 'im not goth...'#when all i ever did was wear black. and tbf i toned it down a LOT while i was at school. i wanted to be normal-passing šš#that aside i only went in to get jewelry and a new belt chain. also a kirby keychain and nail polish#but like it was that Blackheart brand so you know i just wanted it for the skull container and the name. also i was running out#my hot topic really doesnt have any clothes- or at least clothes i fuck with like its mostly skirts and puffy-sleeved shirts#and yeah those are epic and awesome but they're not my style yk. love it on other people just not on me#i usually get my clothes from like. express or skate shops. very different fashions as you can see LMAOOO#like today i got this really pretty crane shirt and then like. i got a black-and-white striped long sleeve with a skeleton hand patch LMAO#UGH im pissed i didnt get the red and black variant too but i didnt think bout it til i already left#i want to get new boots- the ones i have now are great and i love them but i want something chunkier#my 'goth' fashion is really lowkey honestly like i hardly consider myself goth cause of it- its very casual ig#ignore the fuck-you amount of rings i wear ok. theyre pretty..... also they have certain meanings sometimes#like i wear an owl ring cause it reminds me of my sis since she loved owls growing up and went to a uni with an owl mascot#i wear a dragon ring sometimes cause dragons remind me of my dad. for whatever reason.#idk its cause he tried to convince me i was born year of the dragon when i wasnt ?? idk funny guy lmao#and then i already said i wore snake stuff and crosses cause I Hate My Mom. also i was born a snake#also my dads a christian so :] i will wear two cross rings and a cross necklace tyvm love you pops i wish you were around more#uhhh did i want to say anything else. idk im just dumping about my emo bullshit thanks for reading ā ļøā ļø#if this wasnt my yakuza blog id actually just show the haul i got today BUT i will spare you lot from my emo bullshit#ok ill kill the tags here now im SILLY
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.
#the worst thing about having the death of a family member either human or animal is that#when you go back through your pictures of them#you know how the story ends#and it makes all the happiness a little bittersweet#like dark chocolate#its warm and enjoyable and good enough that you keep coming back for it#but it has this bitter and drying note to it that you only remember when it hits you again#and yet you keep going back for more because remembering the good and happy times is just so sweet and warm#enough to offset the sadness until it hits again#reminiscing has its drawbacks and hindsight is 20/20 so you start to look at the photos like 'thats when it started and we didnt know yet'#and 'you can tell he was ill at this point what we didnt know anything was wrong because he still acted normal'#and 'we had no idea how bad it would get so we tried to keep things normal for his sake to keep him comfortable'#and even back before the end when it was 'he was so happy in this photo' with the heaviness of the word 'was'#yeah it was the past but it was also when he was alive#and having the double meaning carried by the single word of 'was' makes it dangerously easy to tip the weight of those emotions over#anyway if im laying down and i cry then my tears go into my ears and it feels very weird#almost as weird as living in a world without him#punny speaks#tw death mention#tw death
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Adding: if you live somewhere rural/out in the country like I do thereās a whole host of wild animals that could/would attack your dog. I hear of this fairly regularly where Iām at. Dogs getting into it with coyotes and all that. It may not kill them all the time but it sure does leave you with a nasty vet bill and a now likely traumatized dog. Like deer, wild turkeys, coyotes, wolves, etc. do not need your dog bothering them and your dog doesnāt need to be bothered by them as well. Just put your dog on a leash, please. I love my dog dearly, and because of that I keep him on a leash when out and about. And because I also respect the environment and things and people and animals around me.
Everyone else talked about outdoor cats, it's time for me to talk about offleash dogs
#canāt stress this enough#we also hear of dogs managing to get into pastures and getting hurt and/or killed by cows and horses and all that cause they spook them#so please just keep your dog on a leash itās not that hard#or if ur gonna let them off leash youād better make sure their training is impeccable cause sometimes it doesnāt take much for shit to#hit the fan#we also hear stories of ppl letting their dogs off leash on equestrian trails and spooking the horses there as well#which can harm the horse the dog the rider etc.#just please#cliffs are also a huge hazard too#justā¦yeah#mars speaks#years of volunteering in an animal shelter have provided me with too many horror stories#Iāll never let my dog off leash no matter how confident I may be in him and his listening skills and all that#also adding: my dog is dog aggressive so me keeping him on leash helps prevent any incidents#but that also needs to be reciprocated like one of the points states above#cause even if ur dog is friendly and comes up to my unfriendly dog my dog isnāt gonna care that ur dog is friendly heās gonna bite#or something and likeā¦yeah Iād have to take the fall for it#we tried him on a muzzle but he hated it so he has a little vest that says heās other dog aggressive and not good w/ kids#but stillā¦likeā¦that vest will only do so much
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Unfortunately my mother and I are mirrors to each other so every time she makes a stupid decision I feel like I'm in a soundproof room screaming at her to stop. But ofc she doesn't.
#it's also just annoying to see how much I am like her.#like yeah. I learned to stop giving people so many chances. but how many times did I get burned before I learned that#and then I watch my mother continue giving people who've hurt her yet another chance and it's like NO STOP!! IT WON'T BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME#but I get it. I have always wanted a close-knit family. I wanted aunts and uncles I knew loved me and I could rely on#grandparents who'd move mountains for me. a family I felt safe and secure in.#but then again I've also wanted to move far away from them all as possible. start over. never answer calls. become completely self-reliant#neither thing ever happened. reality lies somewhere in between.#I gave up on speaking to my brother years ago. my mother tries for 44 years to get hers to treat her like a person. neither of us win.#what can we do except continue
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(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)
I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.
I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).
So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:
"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:
"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"
I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:
"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"
It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.
Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...
"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."
He sees himself as a monster.
And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.
"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"
Which... speaking of him and Ford...
Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.
Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)
Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.
And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.
And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.
After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.
He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.
And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.
"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"
I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?
In short,
[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]
#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls spoilers#the book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#oh gosh I haven't thought this hard about gravity falls in so long
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reader being obsessed with rafeās biceps and he wants to please her
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rafe is obviously aware of how fitnessed and perfect his body is, and he also knows how obsessed you are. when you two fuck your hands are always somehow on his body, from when you ride him, holding yourself on his muscular legs or placing your hands on his chest, or when yāall are doing missionary, your nails dig into the skin of his back as he thrust hard inside you or tighten around his biceps.
speaking of biceps, they were your favorite thing. I mean, you loved every single thing about his body, his back, his shoulders, his abs, his thigh but biceps would do it for you everytime. you would drool every time you see him wearing one of his short-sleeved polo shirts, putting his muscular arm in perfect view, your eyes would carefully observe every single contraction, asking him to open a simple bottle of water or fix something that you had voluntarily broken just to enjoy the sight of his arms at work.
you loved having his strong arms holding you close to him, there was nothing that made you happier when at night, after a long day, his arms wrapped around your figure pulling you towards him, his grip firm as the heat of his body began to expand to yours.
rafe wasnāt stupid, he noticed after a short time your continuous eyes on his biceps, how you somehow tried to always have a hand on them and how you wanted rafeās arms always around you. he was always ready to tease you about it, you would laugh everytime trying to hide your flushes.
obviously this obsession of yours grows when we talk about sex. having him chocking you while pounding into you, watching at the way his biceps flexed made you clench around his length, or when his fingers were buried inside your tight hole, you would force yourself to keep your eyes open even though all you wanted to do was to throw you head back just to watch the way his arm was contracting at the speed he was using and his veins on full display.
one day he proposed you something that left you in disbelief, not like you have never thought about something like that before but hearing him say it to you was totally different. you had stopped from grinding onto his bulge, looking at him with wide eyes while he just looked at you with his usual cocky smirk, your pussy clenching around nothing just at the idea.
āyouāre just so obsessed princess, bet you wouldnāt mind riding it instead of grinding on my dick, would you?ā he had proposed to you, his gaze fell down indicating what he was referring to, your hand tight around his biceps. you stared at him for what seemed like hours not knowing what to answer, suddenly you felt like you wanted to disappear. ādonāt get shy on me now baby, use your words mhm?ā he incited you, his hand moved from your hip to rest on your cheek, slowly rubbing his thumb on the soft skin as you rested your head on it, enjoying his warm touch.
āyeahā¦ i would- i would love thatā you answered, you didnāt even know where you had found the courage to accept something so dirty but that you wanted at the same time so much. rafeās grin widened even more noticing the shyness in your voice, he could feel that you were insecure about it, he was quick to put his lips on yours in a small kiss. ādonāt worry baby I got you, just use me like you preferā he whispered to you a few centimeters from your lips, you bit your lip hearing such words, your most perverse dream was coming true.
āuhh f-fuuckā¦ rafeeeā you gasped moving your hips quickly, your head thrown back while you fully enjoyed the pleasure of your clit in contact with his contracted muscle, your moisture scattered all over the area, sliding along the elbow. āI know baby Iām here, keep goingā he incited you, he looked at you from below with eyes full of lust groping his cock in the pants, a mess of his own pre cum in his boxer while enjoying the scene of his pretty girl rubbing herself on his biceps.
āiām gonna- gonna..ā your voice broken as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to reaching the peak, your legs began to hurt and your movements slowed down, you felt tears forming at the corners of your eyes worried that you wouldnāt be able to reach your orgasm but rafe was right there, and without you being able to say anything else he put a hand on the back of your thigh, pushing you to continue rubbing yourself on his biceps.
āthere you go babyā¦ make a mess all over meā. In no time you reached your orgasm, an almost pornographic moan came out of your lips as your movements stopped abruptly, your cum began to drip on his skin. slimy sounds filled the room while rafe helped you ride your orgasm with some other small push, before you fell in the place next to him, your legs tingled from the effort you had subjected them to.
āthatās it princess, was it good?ā he asked you observing your fucked-out expression then moving his gaze to his arm, completely covered with your wetness.
āthe best fucking thing ever.ā
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#outer banks x reader#x reader#outer banks
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