#also yeah i have my own opinions on this that ill probably put in the comments

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

obviously considering this blog theme this will probably be kinda biased so maybe later ill request it on polling-sonic-fans but shhhh

[perlukafarinn]

Usually when Claire works the closing shift at Rocky's, she and Dean will wind down with a couple of beers at the end of the night. It's a nice little ritual Claire looks forward to every time she comes around, though she'd never admit as much out loud.

Tonight, Dean has mixed up a batch of one of his specialty cocktails - The Queen of Moondoor. It's bright, a sort of red-orange color, and has a sweet and sour taste that makes Claire's jaw ache.

"Do you like it?" Dean asks, like Claire's opinion really matters.

She nods. "It's good."

She's not lying. Dean isn't really a cocktails kind of guy but he's put a lot of effort into every detail of Rocky's. From the various pride flags carefully hung behind the bar, to the salt painted into the windowsills, every inch of the place is meticulously planned out. Rocky's isn't officially a hunter's bar - though it is explicitly a gay bar - but it's become an unofficial gathering place of queer hunters across the continental US.

Even the cocktails on the menu are Dean's own invention. All of them have a backstory, some of which Claire isn't privy to. She knows enough to understand why the Queen of Moondoor is Dean's personal favorite, though.

It also packs a surprising punch. Two drinks in, and Claire already feels herself tilting from tipsy into full-on drunk. She slows down her pace.

"How long are you planning on sticking around now?" Dean asks, because free booze is never just free booze with him. There's always the interrogation. He's almost as much of a mom as Jody is.

"A few days," Claire answers vaguely. "Maybe longer, who knows. I don't have any hunts lined up right now and you pay pretty well."

She knows for a fact he pays her double what he does his other bartenders. Neither one of them ever mentions it, though.

"Weren't you heading back to Jody's?"

Claire shrugs, uncomfortable. She had been, before last night's call with Kaia. They're good most days, even with the strain of Claire being on the road half the time, but sometimes when they talk, they'll hit on a sore topic for one of them and things will get stilted.

The anniversary of Mom's death is coming up in a couple of weeks. Kaia wanted to join Claire for her visit to the cemetery.

"What's on your mind, Strawberry Shortcake?"

Claire is supposed to roll her eyes now. Tell Dean to fuck off and mind his own business.

She doesn't really want to do that. But she doesn't know how to explain to Dean what she's feeling, either.

"It's stupid," she says. "I'm being dramatic."

"You? Never."

Claire scoffs, and Dean's eyes soften.

"You can talk to me, you know."

"Yeah," Claire says, because she does. He gets her, weirdly enough. They get each other. It probably doesn't say great things about either of them. "I just... I feel like I'm making up problems."

Dean takes a sip of his drink. It's difficult to look dignified, drinking out of a straw, and he does not remotely manage it. "Let me be the judge of that."

"Kaia wants-" Claire stops herself, because that's not the point of it. "I - we're good. Me and Kaia. I don't feel ashamed about it."

Dean waits for her continue.

"I'm a lesbian," Claire adds, even though, duh.

"Congrats," Dean says, and it feels like it could be sarcastic but it's not. He means it.

"I don't think -" no, that's not right. "I know my parents wouldn't be okay with that."

The statement lands heavily between them. It feels bitter on Claire's tongue, an ugly truth held at bay for far too long. She feels awful saying it, like she's failing her parents. Speaking ill of the dead. But it's the truth.

Mom and Dad would make these... comments. And Claire remembers each one with perfect clarity, because she's known something was different about her for a very long time. She knew those comments were aimed at her, even if her parents didn't.

They were wonderful parents in every other aspect. Up until they abandoned her, that is. Claire still can't help but feel like she's failing them, sometimes, being who she is.

"They might have changed their minds," Dean offers. "If they'd known. It's different when it's your own kid."

Claire eyes him, curious. "Was it different for your parents?"

Something crosses over Dean's expression, too quickly for Claire to catch it.

"No," he admits after a beat. He runs his hand over his face. "Maybe - Mom might have been fine with it. She didn't know."

Claire swallows. "But your dad did. And it wasn't different."

She feels cruel, pushing the topic. But there's some perverse part of her that needs the confirmation. Dean reminds her of herself, in a lot of ways. He'd say it was the other way around. If he experienced the rejection that Claire feared as a kid, the one that still scares her even if it's purely theoretical now, then that proves something.

"It wasn't," Dean admits. "But Jimmy Novak was no John Winchester."

Claire's chest aches. There's some hollow triumph at the abstract confirmation of her worst fears. Mostly, she just feels like shit.

"For what it's worth," Dean adds, "I think you're perfect. No notes."

Embarrassingly, Claire's lower lip wobbles. She clears her throat, looking off to the side as she tries to regain her composure.

"You think you're my dad or something?" she asks, voice rough.

Dean shrugs, looking embarrassed himself. "I kind of think of you as my kid, yeah. If that's okay."

Claire crosses her arms, feeling warm and aching and off-kilter. "I - yeah. Yeah, that's fine."

[mukimokai]

having "childlike wonder" doesn't mean a character is "childish" or a little baby

childlike wonder is an attitude: of finding joy in the mundane and enjoying the simpler things in life. Having an inherent interest and excitement in new things, places, and experiences. Wanting to take in every detail of something, even if it's something small. It drives exploration and discovery, wanting to know how the world works and figure it all out. Having inquisitive minds. Being fascinated by the world around oneself. Being open to new perspectives.

childlike wonder doesn't mean "childish."

Yeah. I believe Alhaitham can see Aranara. It makes perfect sense because he has every quality listed above.

Yes: Alhaitham has childlike wonder. No, he is not childish. There is a distinction between "childlike wonder" and "being childish"

So can he see Aranara? Most likely yes, it's probably canon: Web events have always been that way anyway, always introducing you to the characters and their respective personalities and interactions if there are any. Web events are canon in the sense that: if the scenario happening in the event took place, this is how the character would act in said scenario.

Yes, I do think there is enough evidence he can see them just looking at his character as a whole: plus why else would the Sumeru lobby have us turn into Aranara if almost the entire Sumeru cast were adults that the Aranara don't inherently trust? The only character who would've been there in that case would've been Nahida but we had Alhaitham and Nilou as well? And it makes sense for them to be able to see the Aranara so like. I was actually completely unsurprised that Alhaitham and Nilou could see them so uhhh-

oh and also. to the ppl who say "Kaveh can't see the Aranara bcz he's traumatized" girlie. the one child in Yoimiya's quest was going through such a traumatic illness and she could still see them.

Kaveh can't see the Aranara not because he's traumatized or whatever. but because he's pushed away his past. Kaveh is actively removing himself from childlike wonder in favour of idealism: he is constantly chasing after his goals, constantly trying to do more and more, constantly striving for perfection that he forgets the mundane, everyday things in life due to the sheer amount of stress he is putting on himself on a day-to-day basis. Kaveh is also not open to new perspectives; following his own ideals to a point and shutting away anything that contradicts his ideals. He is not an inherently curious character either; we've only seen him comment on a few things that pique his curiosity (i.e. the one voice line abt lightning) but as a whole, he's not interested in much else if it doesn't have to do with the arts or things he is passionate about which is unlike Alhaitham who seems to take an interest in literally everything other than gossip.

again: childlike wonder and being childish are different things, PLEASE understand that...

i might have 50 million people come at my throat for my take on all this but like ykw idgaf: I'm entitled to my opinion and this is how i see the whole situation.

I do think people who said it's "out-of-character" for Alhaitham to see Aranara are either mischaracterizing him or they don't understand what exactly it takes for Aranara to be seen by adults. Maybe it's both; i know a lot of people skipped the Aranara quest dialogue, and, for the longest time, Alhaitham has been one of the most wildly mischaracterized characters in the fandom (and still is being mischaracterized to this day unfortunately) so idk tbh.

and ppl always say Nilou is bland so like... i don't think ppl pay much attention to her at all which is unfortunate because she's really silly actually. Nilou stan number 1 right here tbh.

idk it's just my thoughts on it: yeah I do think it can be seen as "basically canon" but I don't think it should be used to justify "omg!! hahahahah they're so childish lmaoo!! alhaitham and nilou are such babies ahahah!"

like. gen. nuh uh. what.

yes i call them babies because they're my babies but that's just bcz i like their characters, i called them that even before this whole fiasco with the aranara... so like. uhm.

this was way longer than i planned it to be. sorry for the yapfest holy.

considered not posting this but eh who cares, it's just my take lol

[fromtheheavens]

IS THAT SOLOMON!?!? (REDESIGN)!!

SO! This redesign actually took me less than 15 hours! ლ(⌒▽⌒ლ) (Could that purely be because I design him so simply? Probably…)

BUT BESIDES THAT

If you couldn’t tell from my use of emoticons- It’s Panda again!!!! (cause it’s a joint account obvi~~) And I literally think that this redesign turned out pretty good. However the hair was pretty tricky (T-T*) (And I don’t even know if Solomon simps are down with long hair Solomon like I AM DOWN with long hair Solomon, but anyway…) Solomon is our most head-cannoned character (Believe it or not..) so be prepared for that yap. Yeah and I don’t know what else to say… so, ONTO THE GOODS!!!!! ヾ(^ ^ゞ

ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª ENJOY‼︎

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ·͙*̩̩͙✧˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙- REDESIGN EXPLANATION -*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙☆ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙ ✧‧͙ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

SO- Hello! with this design came a few changes that I’ll explain now! YES YES, anyhow the first change that I made was Solomon’s beautiful long majestic locks (>▽<)!! The reason he has long hair? Cause why not- but also because it makes him look more sly in my opinion! Moving to the outfit, since it seems he keeps it simple I just gave him wide arm sleeves with like constellations and stars on it like how it is on his jacket

So now basically bro just put his jacket on…..welp- NOW ONTO THE HEADCANONS

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ·͙*̩̩͙✧˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙- HEADCANONS -*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙☆ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙ ✧‧͙ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

So the headcanon section will be in a different format since it’s borderlining an au… (oops! σ(*´∀｀*)). And there’s a lot! So let us know if you want to hear some of our head canons ✨in-depth✨~ and more of them.

GIANT FYI OUR SOLOMON IS DEFO INSPIRED BY THE BIBLE SOLOMON SO BEAR THAT IN MIND!!!!!(Because I’m putting my catholic knowledge to use ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ ))

-Solomon is pasty because of how long he’s lived so his body has stop producing melanin(Is that how it works? Idk but no way bro can be from Jerusalem and that pale so…¯\(ツ)/¯)

-Tattoos| bro is Tatted up from the neck down just absolutely covered. Why? Because he has something something pacts and is a wh*re for a new tool to use.

- Bro is messed up in the head | okay bro has lived wayyyyy to old to not be a little ill. I think to a certain extent bro lacks compassion and empathy and things, and doesn’t really realize fully how much of his humanity he lost…….(Me personally I wouldn’t take that L but y’know) Also just because he doesn’t age doesn’t mean his brain is doing good and I’m sure bro doesn’t remember plenty of things.

-Bro doesn’t know what to do with himself | I think bro has a really big brain cage but sometimes it’s just the DVD symbol bouncing around. Like bro will try to rizz Mc with the weirdest pickup line known to man then be confused when he gets a side-eye. There is no way bro doesn’t act like an npc sometimes. Like there’s so many things he can’t really experience anymore because of his immortality, which makes him scary .. ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

-Bro is shady… | Idk don’t know bout ya’ll but I did not trust this man the first time he pulled up in the game. Like “Yeah I just transported to hell and now I’m surrounded by demons, but my real fear is the other “human” student here”. Like bro just gives off mass-manipulatior vibes. Like Hannibal making Mason eat his own nose type manipulation( If you get that reference I’ll kiss you （￣ε￣ʃƪ）) Like if I’m being honest I don’t trust bro as far as I can throw him. (No shade to my bro ski though😫✌️)

Okayyyy! that’s all I have to say for you today pookies~ Thank you for reading!!!!!

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ·͙*̩̩͙✧˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙- OTHER REDESIGNS -*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙☆ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙ ✧‧͙ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Lucifer

Diavolo

Satan

[spiralling-thoughts]

Loona would make an awful and abusive friend for Octavia

(Sorry if I might be rude and pity in this post , but this have been bothering me for so long and I feel like I should voice my opinion on the matter now disclaimer I mean no ill will towards anyone and I don't harass people who write about this idea neither should you this is just me voicing MY PERSONAL OPINION so are we cool here?)

So I have seen many and I mean MANY fanfics ,fanart,ect of the idea that loona would make an awesome older sister to Octavia and be her "first real friend who understands her " and some take it as far as shipping (sorry but the shipping aspect of this is really gross loona is 22 while Octavia is 17 this is pedophilia) now I will be honest I personally think this is sugar quoting and people giving loona to much credit, this woman is ABUSIVE (yes I said it she's a more accurate representation of abuse than stella and yes abusers could be traumatized victims) this woman beats and attacks her adoptive father who always shower showed her with affection and she knows hed get over it this is an extremely toxic trait, she kept insulting moxxie about being fat (even though he's a stick figure) until she gave him body image issues and she starts pity fights like how she did in queen bee now in what world would someone like this be a good older sister towards anyone?like imagine if Octavia asked loona to dial down her attitude a bit what would loona do? Would she listen to her NAH if she'd beat up her own father for that whose to say she wouldn't do the same for Octavia?, and their conversation in seeing stars....oh boy I was holding back trying not to throw my phone when this part came there are a bunch of posts about how nonsensical this part was but the long and short of it is that loona doesn't have any right to tell Octavia to put up with stolas when she herself treats her father poorly and she straight up lied to Octavia, stolas wasn't looking for her he was pathetically sitting around in the theatre getting thirsty over blitz and he wasn't all that freaked out that he's daughter ran away because of him, so loona literally gaslighted Octavia to apologise and come back to her neglectful father (yes for the millionths time stolas is neglectful) , this just makes their "friendship" all the more jarring and toxic, just because both are goth girls with daddy issues doesn't mean they will be instantly healthy friends their issues, upbringing, situations are completely different, Octavia is getting neglected by her father who constantly puts hes own desires before her will being and constantly makes her uncomfortable and constantly let her down and break his promises and from her perspective he ruined her home life, loona on the other hand is being rude and abusive towards her father who so far gave her affection, protection and while yes he was once over protective of her it's understandable considering where he got adopted her from yet even after all of that and after 5 years of being with him she still treats him poorly with only a few moments where she was nice to him and even then she resorts back to not caring about him and being rude and violent and she knows he'll get over it and come back to spoiling her, Octavia is getting emotionally abused by her father while loona is abusing her father THERE SITUATIONS ARE NOT THE SAME and now loona will basically glue Octavia onto her abuser while also probably abusing Octavia either emotionally, mentally, physically I don't see her at all as a kind or understanding or caring person she only act like that when it's convenient to the plot or as a moment to gaslight people into ignoring her awful actions , so yeah I don't think loona would at all be a good person for Octavia to hang out with under any circumstances she'd probably badly influence her and make her mental health worse than it already is , people go out of their way to make her act completely different from what she does in the show to make this s*** idea possible and that's another problem loona like stolas is coddled by the fandom and they always ignore how much of an awful person she actually is instead come up with excuses for her and try to make her look better than she actually is , I get the appeal people might get from this idea but I really don't like it or see it I feel like people are glossing over alot of issues with this whole situation

Thank you for coming to my rant

[suffering-asthmatic-tifosi]

i’ll explain papaya rules for you!!

okay so after oscar’s over take (and im pretty sure after mclaren’s first pit stop) lando’s race engineer comes on the radio and says

“you are allowed to race oscar, papayas rules”

so everyone was kinda confused because no one knows what said “papaya rules” are. so anyway after the race during the press conference, lando gets asked what papaya rules are and if he thought oscar’s overtake fit into those rules. lando basically said that the papaya rules are that they are free to race, but do not make contact. lando thought oscar’s overtake did fit into the rules but could’ve ended badly if he had braked later. zak brown was also asked about it after the race about what papaya rules meant and basically said the same thing that lando said!! but he said they would have to rewatch oscar’s overtake to make sure it applied by the “papaya rules”.

but then everyone (mostly lando fans) started getting mad at oscar and mclaren for allowing oscar to overtake and for them to race. they think that they should’ve swapped the cars on the last lap to allow lando to close the gap to max in the drivers championship a little more.

another thing, in the post-race press conference lando got asked if he needed help to win the championship and he said that he did have help and that his teammate was indeed helping him. he also said that he didn’t want to win the championship by begging for track position over his teammate. he said it was something the team would have to implement race by race. and oscar had nothing to add to that.

i hope this explained it and i probably added wayyyy to much details!! but it’s very interesting to me as a die hard oscar fan, to see everyone hating on him for racing and not giving the position to lando, even though the team said nothing about giving it up. but ill let you have your own opinion on the situation <3

Anon you’re and actual angel. Like genuinely you deserve a star here ⭐️

This topic now intrigues me more as a lifetime Lando fan and a new Oscar fan. Honestly I think, always thought tbh, that whenever Zak says that there is no number 1 driver, he’s just lying bc it’s Lando, we all know it’s Lando guys.

On that note, I think this Papaya Rules stuff is not very healthy for the future. Like how is this gonna work in a few months when the inevitable is going to happen and Lando is 3 points from the championship and Oscar is only p3. Who are “Papaya Rules” gonna help out at that point?

I get it, racing each other can be dangerous especially considering Lando’s lead. But making a petty kitty papaya rules is not the way guys. I get McLaren is trying to be the new hip team.. (i.e holister merch and like every pr thing ever (I could be wrong but McLaren feels like it like started this wave of F1 merch in American malls bc when F1 merch started rolling out it was all McLaren merch.) (sorry for all the () but on all that McLaren merch, when a driver is put on it it’s ALWAYS Lando. I own Hollister McLaren merch, it’s all Lando. And for the New RB merch at Hollister, it’s all obviously Max bc he’s the number 1 driver. So yeah sry for the Tangent)

.. but I think treating the boys like Kindergarteners with papaya rules is not it. There is a better way guys. I’m like 79.678% sure they aren’t gonna be the next Maxiel Baku 2018.

But I’m an idiot so I’m probably vry wrong. THANK YOU ANON FOR THE EXPLANATION I WAS ACTUALLY SO CONFUSED AND SO WAS MY DAD (another big Lando fan lol)

[fictionfixations]

birthday bloom kalim

notice how much more azul speaks then kalim, cause azul's all flatter-y and like. the type to ig do ill deeds by walking circles around his prey and striking when they dont expect it (as in slipping in little things here and there that could make it harder to notice for example)

but kalims all honest and more to the point, so he doesnt need as many words to get there

oof

💀 kailm. sweetie...

admittedly i feel like his upbringing of basically being spoiled and kept as happy as can be from any stresses (as in yknow always being first in stuff and doing what he wants- remember that mention of kalim finding jamil during his break cause he asked the security guys to like idfk see th camera footage? or like. to find jamil. like. i mean. he was a kid but also that kind of screams of abuse of authority, but to be fair kalim was under the impression that jamil was his friend and would have no reason to think that jamil wouldnt want to play with him as much as kalim does. you see? because he's been able to see the world through sunshine and rainbows [in comparison to jamil being faced with the harsh reality and meant to be 'mature' enough to know what hes meant to do] it means he misses these cues, that he can be so oblivious to harmful intent. or like. being so positive that it could almost blind him? like

he wants to do his best to stay alive because. remember he mentioned that one time how 'what if [his poisoner i think] had a change of heart? it wouldnt mean anything if he was dead by then'. but thats under the assumption that theres. well. to put it bluntly, good in them and that they would act on it. i really dont know how to word it in a better way.

and. its not that its bad to view things in a hopeful way, its just that too much of it can be harmful.) only does him more harm

cause like. hows he gonna survive on his own? and i mean there might not be a situation like that. but like. by them raising him like that, it means that he doesn't know how to take care of himself.

and while he has servants and everything... im of the opinion that it would've been better to raise him self-sufficient. i mean spoil him as a kid ofc precious bby but also make it clear that he should also kinda be able to depend on himself too? like. like listen

make it clear that while he can trust other people, that they can also betray him. and i get that that creates trust issues, and also idk he probably already knows this in canon (its just that he wants to believe that they can change. and also because it just never occurred to him that jamil could turn on him since hes always been there)

cause. we know his other asim relatives have tried to hurt him. or well. maybe it was only mentioned in kalims' labwear vignette? i thinki it was that one.

so like. understanding that, and then giving him the skills to be able to manage on his own when needed to. not having to rely on other people all the time. cause i mean. well. this isn't the greatest lesson to teach but its like. the only one you can fully trust is yourself??

and i mean yeah he cares for himself (because so many bad things could happen if he died. or others could get hurt/punished because he died.) but it genuinely feels like hes only doing it for others and not for himself

maybe im puliing all of this out of my ass

but im STILL not over kalim talking about how frustrating/annoying it was to know that kalim only won because of jamil. that it was because jamil held back (also in relation to the truth of him always being chosen being broken, because it wasnt true at all. which i mean, if theres something that gets established in your head as what the truth is, finding that it isnt true at all is.. a lot. like. idk. that parents arent invincible, that they're human too.)

and then grim shoots him down with 'i didnt even get picked [to peform]! how do you think I feel?'

and kalim immediately apologizes. like

i swear this is like one of the only times i feel like kalims ever been outside of his happy 'im here for you if you need me' thing

or like one of the only times hes expressed his feelings (and probably knowing he's privileged, so not wanting to express his issues because he knows so many people have it worse than him ?)

and in all honesty. if he ever gets feelings talk about himself in book 4. i forgot a lot of it. and i think it mightve been partially because i knew the twist in advance so it just hurt me going through it knowing that they were wrong of who they suspected so. yeah.

uhmm. as you can see. i have a lot of thoughts about kalim. haha oops

[powderseas]

side order is here!!! its real!!! yippee

what do you think of it so far?

ok so im just gonna spit out all my side order thoughts so far

SPOILERS FOR SIDE ORDER AHEAD!!!!!!

EDIT: I ACTUALLY FINISHED THE GAME WOOO (just one run tho lol) im gonna write my thoughts under the previous stuff

OK SO. i think im a little..? dissapointed..? abt sider order?? like im kinda conflicted abt the lore, also i suck BALLS at the game

the thing is i have done 5 runs so far AND COULDNT GET A SINGLE WIN. the most i can do is up to floor 20.... im literally so bad at this game I ONCE DIED 2 TIMES IN AN EASY LEVEL. im newgen guys.

maybe im not fit for rougelike games but like... idk. i feel like me and the fandom as a whole expected so much more from side order. i feel like if the game is gonna make you replay the same stuff over and over again it should atleast have a SOUL CRUSHING LITERARY MASTERPIECE TYPE OF LORE like OE and Alterna

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW DIRTY THEY DID FOUR???? literally called them an irrelavent loser and then sweeped them aside... THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A PALETTE ICON???? theyre not even a secret boss smh.... agent 4 had so much potential I WILL NEVER FORGIVE NINTENDO FOR THIS. and like sure the parallel canon level kind of includes four but that thing is literally an npc??? like imagine what they couldve done with the story if they had included four in it:

when four is left out from the squidbeak splatoon they try to prove themselves by siding with marina with her project. it makes perfect sense. marina and four are both scared of being seperated by their loved ones. but four gets consumed by their anger and jealousy and goes full order mode LIKE DO YOU GUYS SEE MY VISION!!!! i will be forever mad that we didnt get this.

also why is murch out of all the chracters have a pallete??? why didnt they put in captain 3 or something????? sheldon i kinda understand since hes also kinda a part of the squidbeak splatoon BUT MURCH??? get the fuck out!!!

negative stuff aside tho. i love pearl and marina so much. THIS IS THE PEARLINA GAME GUYS!!!!! pearl literally mentions that marina and her sleep in the SAME BED???? marina is so autistic. my little autism creature. SHE MAKES DINO ARMS IN THE ENDING SCENE AUGHHHHHGHHH MY HEARTTT i love marina so much AND PEARL. SUCH A SILLY GOOBER. acht is so precious too... BUT I CNAT BELIEVE THAT THEY MADE THEM WHITE*??? ACHT IS NOT WHITE NINTENDO. anyways i love eight and her little found family full of lesbians. they are all lesbians your honor. we are raising lesbians in this house.

so yeah. i hope i can finish the run atleast ONCE. but like. idk i havent finished the game but side order jsut makes me feel. sad... and lonely...?? unlike octo expension where you could see more and more people using the metros and the chatrooms between marina and pearl are just AUUGGHHH OE IS A GAME. ABOUT CONNECTIONS OK. it makes me feel warm and happy and even though eight became traumatized i like to think that she healed and in the process met so many important people in her life.

in side order i dont see anything in eight*??? is she traumatized??? is she vibing??? is she happy to help??? I LITERALLY CANT TELL. side order makes me feel so cold and empty like do you guys understand what i mean. and its probably becasue it doesnt even take place in the real world. and the thing is. i understand that side order is supposed to be everything that OE couldnt be. i understand that. both games have their own quirks BUT. i just cant seem to make myself love it unlike any other story mode in splatoon...... im really trying to be not biased here but yeah. these are my opinions for side order

AFTER GAME THOUGHTS

HELLO. so yes i somehow managed to win the game. and honestly. the final boss was pretty fun and everyone was so cute at the end omg... but i still think that side order is a bit underdevloped.... i dont even know if ill try to %100 is cuz playing it makes me SO STRESSFUL im glad i get to finish a run BUT i will definetly not be touching side order atleast for a while.... but despite i had plenty of stuff i didnt like in side order the ending managed to make me forget all that haha

[leafmint-does-a-meow]

We’re mutuals now which means I’m allowed to be autistic on main <3 You are ABSOLUTELY right in your interpretation of Jekyll, in my opinion. He is trying So Hard to be neurotypical in a world where there isn’t even a word for that, there’s just ‘normal’ and ‘male hysteria’, and I see myself in this poor sad man.

Also, your depiction of the withholding of food to punish a naughty child? And the way Jekyll knows that, as an adult, he puts too much stock in food and drink? The fact that he has enough education to recognize a trauma response but can’t help the fact he’s doing it? The peak of cinema.

Do you think Jekyll ever did, or considered self harm? I have my own thoughts on the matter, but I’d love to hear what you think!

nah man, you always LEAD with being autistic on main! That's how you find all the other people who are deranged absolutely normal about the same stuff you are!

ugh, yeah, I was diagnosed at 17 so I had already gone through school and puberty wondering What Was Wrong With Me. The world isn't built for ND people, even today. It was even worse in the 19th century...

So fun fact! Well...not really fun, but that was a totally accepted thing that the upper class did with their kids. They believed that too much rich food would create immorality in their children when they reached adulthood and it was very common for food to be withheld as punishment. I bought historian Ruth Goodman's book How To Be A Victorian for fic research (Ruth my beloved) and there was a whole chapter that went into depth about food and nutrition.

'While hunger was at its cruellest among the poor, it sent its tendrils winding around the lives of the more wealthy too... Requests for more food were met with pious lectures about carnal desires and pampering to greed... The self-control and self-denial induced by hunger were thought to teach enduring habits of self-sacrifice and to aid in fashioning a more moral individual.'

I really recommend her book and documentaries if you want to learn more about the 19th century :)

Jekyll probably knows something isn't right, but with the lack of education or even acceptance of the mere existence of mental illness and trauma, he's probably been told his whole life to 'just get on with it', essentially. Poor bub.

Oof, yeah, I mean he definitely has had some dark days. Again, with the lack of knowledge in regards to mental health, he would be inclined to just force himself through it and on to the other side.

In my fic I wrote: 'There were days where his thoughts seemed to eat him alive, where the relentless pounding of his own heart would cause chest pains and exhaustion. It was on these days that dark thoughts would begin to surface, and he would throw himself into his work to evade them.'

The work proves a valuable distraction, until of course he begins to turn it into a process of finding a 'cure' for himself. Just as well he got away to the country when he did, I suppose.

Thanks for the ask! <3

[muppetears-stuff]

Warren hate has always been ableist in the very beginning. He gets too much shit for not understanding Max's body language. He gets a lot of hate 'for not taking a hint' or understanding social cues. Hell in the very beginning of the fandom like in 2015 i think i remember there were angry pricefielders calling Warren the literal r slur because he's 'so stupid'. Their words not mine. l I've seen people talk about how they're convinced he's a s*ciopath or a n*rcissist or a ps*chopath which I find ableist and uncomfortable. I think the biggest red flag from the fandom is how there's a lot of shit talk about Warren is an 'obsessive freak/stalker' in their eyes to talking in general about how 'obsessiveness' and 'obsessions' are red flags and are signs of 'evil' apparently and not symptoms of mental illness or neurodivergency apparently. I really relate to Warren and I also suffer from obsessive and actual intrusive thoughts, so i find this fandom to be extremely cruel and alienating toward people with stigmatizing illnesses which I find explains the Chloe demonization bc she is so BPD coded. I don't think Warren is autistic coded like Max but I do think he's ADHD / OCD coded in a way I can't explain. Sorry to drop this really long rant in your inbox, but you're not wrong about the Warren demonization and I just wanted to say something about it. Becauze the demonization of all these characters go back to ableism and the Life Is Strange fandom is the most ableist fandom I've ever been in at all and that really speaks volume about how atrocious it is.

THIS ^^^ YES. FUCKING YES, ABSOLUTELY.

I find the Warren hate unwarranted (hehe) and SUPER FUCKING ABLEIST. you make amazing points, thank you for putting my thoughts into words anon🙏🙏

He very much struggles with social interactions, very evident by the way he only talks teachers or people that are into the same stuff as him, he can become very chatty, sometimes too much, when it comes to things he likes which comes off as "annoying" and "obsessive" when he just wants friends.

Mr. Well's talks about it in his student file, btw.

I share. Alot of the same traits as Warren, with myself also having ADHD and liking science and talking excessively to the point where I find MYSELF annoying.

It's so upsetting too that the developers leaned INTO the stalker/obsessive Warren allegations that I can't even fucking talk about him or mentioning that I like him on certain platforms without the fear of people saying I "support stalking" which I don't. I can't defend him and say that he wasn't stalking without someone going, "but it's canon, the developers confirmed it!!" Yeah well, Mark and Nathan have done some more fucked up shit and I still see people defend them. (I love Nathan too for his complexity and ability to become better. He just needed help, but it doesn't excuse anything he did.)

Warren is the best character. He had so much potential to be an amazing recurring character, but he was their simply for plot convenience or to make the player not suspicious that Mark could be behind everything because Warren was "creepy"

I'm probably gonna have people saying I'm being a baby over this and that he's a fictional character and stuff, you can totally have your own opinion on Warren Graham, I'm not telling you you can't, just please stop calling people who like him "stalkers" or say they support stalking and creepy behavior, when that isn't true. The amount of hate towards anyone that isn't Max or Chloe, and then the immediate hate on YOU for not liking them or liking/defending another character makes me sick, as well as the flat out abelism. The reason why I left the fandom in the first place before picking it back up because of Warren<3

Thank you again, Anon. For sending me such a lovely ask(?) And letting me rant about him because he's my favorite, and I agree with you so much, you're so right<3

[no-shxme]

Hi I saw you have TalEz on your won'ts for your commissions. Just curious can you explain why?

hi anon yEAH i can explain but like, to preface this, if you happen to like talez you're totally valid and dont feel like you have to dislike it or anything bc im gonna be a lil hater. people like what they like (and dislike what they dislike) and thats totally okay. this is just my own personal opinion. i wish i liked talez more bc its probably the most popular talon ship and im often starving, but i just dont and there's a couple reasons why.

i dont like the way its usually portrayed

im not the biggest ezreal fan.

imo there's better fits for both of them.

ugh this is going to be long so ill put it under the cut.

tbf, you dont NEED some complex reason to dislike a ship/character. like reason 2 is already enough for me to open and shut smth, but i do have complex thoughts about talez. and i am totally going to do a little hating below.

i think talez is so fucking anime that it lacks so much complexity. i dont really like anime. (i know thats a broad, loaded statement i just hate 99% of the tropes that pop up. not saying ive never enjoyed a shitty/tropy anime, but just--no) i think talez is broadly boiled down and portrayed by most fan-creators as 'edgy dark cloud + ball of sunshine' and i think thats so boring and lame for both of them. imo it reduces them to a really basic ship trope and there's nothing inherently WRONG with it, i just think its so boring. i look at popular fanworks and personally find it super reductive for both of them. it feels like talez happened bc at it's inception league needed an anime character ship. to be fair, you can reduce ANY ship to smth basic. talsett is just 'tall x short' but in comparison i think talsett has so much more complexity in theming. same with like, rhaayn for example. to me there's a lot more depth. i think the most depth you can get out of talez is related to ez's loss of family and talon's too + themes of belonging, but god. its not good enough.

talez is also usually portrayed romantically and i'm turbo aromantic and mostly romance repulsed and also hc talon as the same, so this already cuts out so much talez fanwork for me. :')

ALSO while we're at it, talon is such a bottom to me. even when he tops. and i hate him being portrayed as this like, idk, grim edgy SUPER TALL??? domineering top when he's like, as tall as katarina in the comic and was prolly malnourished bc he lived on the streets for years. tbh i would automatically like talez more if they were BOTH shortasses and switches as god intended. but noooo. i think if i literally just saw/read more ez topping talon then i'd be automatically more on board. but id also need an aromantic angle so its literally never happening.

i think when ezreal gets paired with talon both of their personalities get so fucked. his ass is not cuddling. ezreal is not some weak damsel or master of seduction either. i think a problem that not just talez creators but like, creators in general suffer from is erasing bad traits that characters have, unless they're 'cute.' talon has some cute bad traits, but he also has some seriously bad traits that loving or being loved wont fix. and ezreal is just reduced SO bad. so talez feels inherently ooc to me. fandom has done a number on him. there's nothin left in the pot. i think being with talon (in canon) is such an uphill battle and most of the time i dont see ezreal equipped to handle it in comparison to other people.

i dont really like ezreal. i think i've already made that clear before. he's fun to play and i like him on a surface level and ive got friends that really like him and thats totally fine but idk he's just not my blorbo. the only time i really like him is when he's with aphelios, where somehow my dislike of both characters cancel out. maybe i dont have room for him because i like talon too much, who knows. either way, often times when talez fanworks are created the focus is actually just on ezreal, and that annoys me as an ezreal disliker. (fanwork creators can create whatever the fuck they want ofc, godspeed do what makes you happy)

and my third point: there's better fits for both of them. i like ezphel and ezkayn more than talez. i think in canon there's a good chance talon might genuinely kill him. or ezreal might really overwhelm him and drive him away with his outward facing personality. and frankly there's a good chance ezreal also goes away bc talon is bad news and also doesn't have the charisma to keep him there. and ofc for talon i think talsett is the ultimate fit, or even talshan is right there.

THAT BEING SAID. i don't mind talez AS much if there's a third, though we still run into some of the same issues as above. like ive written talezsett before. thats nice! talezlux is okay too even if,, completely unfeasible... (i have strong opinions im sorry. as a crack ship its fun i think)

blah blah. i think i could like talez but i would have to write it myself. thats what it boils down to. there are ideas/concepts i like about them. ive juggled the idea of putting a talez fic on my to do list but i just dont think i'll write it in any way that actual talez fans would like, which means there's no point in writing it at all. i've plotted several, long and short, but i think everyone would hate it. talez isn't a strict 'won't write.' iirc it specifically says like: 'unless the idea goes hard' but no ones tried me pfppf, and im fine with it i guess.

there's more i can say but like, i dont want this to be too long.

the important thing to remember is that if you like talez... GOOD. im happy for you!! keep loving it, godspeed. these are just my personal reasons it doesnt click with me.

[farasen]

//Vent I guess, long post

I really didn’t want to bring that up here, but I’m on my limit and I feel like it’s important to mention.

One thing that I absolutely despise is adult antis that go after proship children, putting their safety at risk by doxing and exposing them online. If you claim to care sooo much about them, why are you endangering them? Why are you stalking, sexually harassing and gaining their trust to abuse it? Oh I know the answer – because you are the predator!

And the saddest thing is that no one sees any problems with that. Those people so used to dehumanize proships, even those who are children, they think it’s right to put them in danger over a fucking fiction. They’re so blind and stupid to see the evil in their own actions. You treat real people like fictional characters and you think that you have moral ground after that.

Funny enough, no fucker would ever give me valuable sources that coping with dark fiction is an unhealthy. But I can give dozens that say otherwise. You know, your personal disgust is not a scientific fact. You’re not qualified to say something is unhealthy, your opinion doesn’t count. I’m disgusted by a lot of things, doesn’t mean I’m right about them.

Also, tell me about unhealthy coping mechanisms, a person that encourages mentally ill teens to do self-harm or gain ED only not to cope with dark fiction.  

And I often hear antis say ‘’proship is full of groomer. And yeah, there are horrible people in our community, but guess what? So it is in any other spaces! Including yours, antis, Kyle Carrozza is an example. And yours’ probably has even more of them. While most proshippers tell minors to stay away from adult spaces, antis often would go after NSFW artists and writers and expose them to the audience with many-many minors. They have more tools to control kids, by spreading misinformation about the term ‘’proship’’ and making them believe they’re safe adults. Be for real, adult antis are a ticking time bomb.   

Most of those who engage with hunting down proshippers are children or very young adults, and I hope one day they’ll realize they were just bullies. But grown ass antis… scumbags. I despise you and I’m very glad if you despise me as well.

If you’re an anti who does this – block me. I don’t wanna see you on my account. I’m sure you don’t wanna see me either, let’s disperse peacefully.

[suffarustuffaru]

What is your opinion on arc 8? For me its such a mess (probably bc tappei improvised arc 7 and 8, they werent in the original plan), i hope it will end soon

i do agree with you there on otto development but im definitelyyy biased *sweats in becoming an otto blog someone save me from the hyperfixation* but in my defense otto arc 8 development was the result of a slow burn since arc 3-4 and otto's various side stories but even without the side stories it feels like the logical conclusion that his arc was leading up to, which feels pretty solid to me for the most part (side eyes otto apologizing to the girl who sent assassins after him.... side eyes tappei's fixation on shipping otto's brothers and then not even elaborating on how that'd even work as dynamics) but. anyway i digress

arc 7-8 ive followed since their conception via reading it chapter by chapter. unfortunately i did also get kinda busy with irl stuff while the middle of arc 7 was happening so i had to do catchup and also my memory is Pretty Bad. if youre wondering how i remember certain lore so well its only bc i have to reread/rewatch/use that info for writing things a lot which is the only reason why i remember it HAH. so. all in all. my memory of arc 7-8 is pretty shaky. i did read the beginnings of arc 7 and 8 via the polished translations though on WCT a while back while the rest was mostly like as each chapter came out.

rn ive started rereading arc 6 and i have several side stories i need to finish (ana camp side stories, the wilhelm-theresia trilogy, and ex 5 are top of my list right now). and then eventually ill get to reading arc 7-8 in their entirety so that i can 1. have more knowledge of it and 2. so i can have more fully formed opinions on it. so definitely i could try answering this question again once im done with that. no idea when that is bc im kinda a slow reader but ill do my best HAH. but i do have some thoughts now!!

(arc 7-8 stuff under cut + a single arc 9 mention)

arc 7-8 i do have a few mixed feelings about, namely louis's arc so far, but im really trusting the process here bc tappeis writing is just like that sometimes. you really need to be patient and definitely while i have things to criticize about louis's arc particularly i do hope that the catharsis of her character kicks in hard later so !! im interested in that.

but generally like. arc 7-8 are pretty solid. as expected of tappei. there were a lot of really really fascinating stuff brought up, a lot of interesting characters that we got to know (and im a really big fan of how much love tappei puts into a lot of the side characters, it really makes the world of rezero fleshed out). subarus arc continues to be interesting even if i personally really dont like that he adopts louis as spica While he looks like hes the exact same age as her, it really broke my immersion a bit.

but anyway yeah like. arc 7-8 was pretty good. like objectively, in my opinion, theres a lot to love, even though personally it did take me a bit to warm up to it in the beginning. i definitely think though that they do feel a bit messy as arcs. with arcs 1-6 they flow really nicely into each other - you can tell they were really planned out and tightly knit. arc 7-8 does something really new - throwing us right into vollachia - which is interesting, but i do think it does feel a bit less planned out, which makes sense bc according to tappei vollachia was a change in his original plans. this isnt bad on its own and we got two giant arcs out of it that were pretty fun. but there are points i feel that you can kinda Tell that it wasnt planned out. the slight reliance on the teleportation throughout arc 7 was like the first thing i noticed haah.

and my big worry after arc 8 is that like. tappei doesnt strike that perfect balance of still keeping vollachia and its cast relevant but like not letting them overshadow other matters that tappei needs to get to before finishing rezero. like i want vollachia to continue to matter after we've spent two really big and complex and busy arcs with vollachia, but i do want the focus to shift a little away from them gradually / bring up vollachia again later.

arc 9 so far in its 2 chapters at the time of me answering this ask has been really really good so far with wrapping up arc 7-8 while building up future conflicts. i do think however that since we spent time with vollachia this now comes with the expectation of branching out into kararagi and gusteko possibly - just bc we already know we're gonna spend a Lot of time in lugunica, as we have for a lot of rezero already, and we've spent a lot of time with vollachia, so narratively there probably needs to be some equality in that we should at least get a glimpse of other nations in the main route. so !! im interested in that possibility too and i think it would fit rezero well.

so yeah thats like. my personal opinion on arc 7-8 and i think reading through the whole entire thing wont change much of my opinions on the above besides me probably falling in love some more with the cast and understanding the story during this time period more deeply (and probably having more thoughts on louis and rem). i do hope that you reconsider your stance on arc 7-8 though anon!!! but if not thats totally fair too.

[polycharismas]

my monthly alien stage rewatch findings. or rambles. Yeah rambles. i didnt say anything about Black Sorrow or Cure because those are like the most analyzed videos of all time and im tired Sigh

My Clematis: It still amazes me how much of an effect this one still has on me after all the time that has passed and after all the things that have happened in Alien Stage by now. It truly represents every single thing that makes Alien Stage such a special story. I think watching it again after all that went on in the story just elevates it so much more. This time around what did it for me was the monologue because you can easily apply it to every other character in this and it just Fits so well. Because truly what else do these children have aside from one another? Who else are they supposed to believe in? Where else are they supposed to find a God that can keep them moving forward in a world as cruel as this? All of them have someone, the nature of their admiration and the way they express it varies so much between all of them, but it still follows the same principle after all. The whole mv just put it in such a beautiful way it honestly holds up as its own story but knowing there was way more to these two girls and this whole world makes it so much better. I love yuri

ALIEN STAGE: UUugggGGahsgagahHahwnajwjdj Sorry. Okay. This is like the actual real trailer for this thang and its also so perfect. It foreshadows everyone's role surprisingly well. I think the fact Sua is the one singing also makes it better somehow because it just makes sense. She's the one that indirectly triggered a lot of what happens in Alien Stage in the first place she's the most important for our protagonist she's related with the rest of the cast in many different ways and to this day we still know next to nothing about her and yet she's the one singing the song that can be considered a true introduction to this whole world and that's Fascinating to me. I just feel nostalgic about this one also even if it really hasn't been that long since it was released. General banger and also it looks pretty as hell it makes me ill. Waugh

Unknown (Till the end...): OKAY I REALIZED THIS WAS PROBABLY THE ONE WHERE MY OPINIONS WOULD CHANGE THE MOST i have recently taken quite a liking to thinking about Till since a Twitter thread changed my whole perception about him and Oh Boy Did It All Change. It kind of really fucks me up. Till's relationship with Mizi i mean. It's stated he's one of the most brilliant in Anakt Garden. Not only is he skilled at both singing and playing an instrument he's also a pretty damn good composer. It's really something when you realize Mizi was the one who gave him both the determination and the inspiration to achieve all of this. The song he performed was the fastest selling album and he made it to Top 2 despite the fact the aliens are just not fond of him at all to put lightly. And he only achieved all of this because Mizi decided to show him a kindness she has always been familiar with but also a kindness he never experienced once in his life. Till has suffered a lot. Struggling to find an alien that would actually want to adopt him, being experimented on by the aliens and probably way Wayyyyy more, but it only took a single person to show him kindness for him to be able to keep on living. The nature of his feelings can be easily interpreted as romantic but it honestly resembles more that of a painter and his muse to me. So how do you think he felt when he saw his muse experience for the very first time the unkind world they lived in? He couldn't even glance at her during his performance because seeing his idol in such a state was painful. That still didn't stop him from wanting to speak his heart out through a song specifically made for her to hear. I sure hope nothing bad happens to this determined and energetic little guy!

Ruler of My Heart: Hi. This time around i thought really hard about how naturally Luka could hit all of Mizi's weak points through his performance. It's like a skill he learned throughout the years which is a really disturbing idea for me because we all know the state of his mind but what else could this be than giving the aliens exactly what they want from hosting this competition through all these years? Luka's parallels with Hyuna in the way they went about their roles in this world always fascinated me greatly because on one hand we have a total rebel who didn't hesitate to escape and do what She thinks is correct and on the other we have the Perfect contestant for Alien Stage. A title that sounds prestigious but can be also terrifying if we look at it from a human perspective. Someone so capable of twisting people's minds for the sake of entertainment and someone just detached enough to not hesitate at the truly awful implications of being a part of this competition and still participate with everything he's got. We don't know what exactly is the reason he did all of this and we also don't know much about. Anything that goes through his mind. So what the hell am i even talking about honestly. I want him so badly its painful i can fix him❤️

TOP 3: guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys. Here it is. Famously known video i never shut the fuck up about. I think dropping this not before Alien Stage started but in the middle of it was genius because now we know exactly what the nature of this world truly is. I will never shut the fuck up about how absolutely amazing this video specifically is. The shift between the perspective of Alien Stage the aliens have to the perspective the humans themselves have is so fucking well done it makes me insane everytime. What could Alien Stage be to beings incapable of feelings? Just the perfect source of entertainment and money they could ask for. Its nothing more than that. But to the humans themselves its absolutely everything. Where they could win everything or lose it all. In this world humans have no other option than to trust their abilities to have even the slightest chance of being given the right to live freely. Where the cost of losing is your life. But also where the cost of winning is your own humanity. This video represents all of that in such a perfect way and it makes me ill in the head. GHhagzgHagGagagagav im normal

MIZISUA: Having a dedicated video for the most important relationship in the whole series is actually such a brain move. You can always feel the love these two have for each other every time they are together but the way you can feel it here just hits. Not a single word is spoken and yet you can feel everything they felt for each other in just that peaceful moment they shared when they were being sent to Anakt Garden. And the way you can also feel the pain Sua's absence has on Mizi in the span of so little time. You can feel absolutely everything with just that final scene alone. You can also see how opposite they were to each other and yet how well they fit together despite that. Seeing Sua like this makes me feel ill because i know already how much Mizi's everything changed her completely. To be loved is to be changed indeed. This video says everything you need to know about their feelings for each other and im DIGGING IT man. I miss them so much it hurts

All-in: HEH. HEY. HI HYUNA. This is like the perfect way to introduce her. We already know Hyuna somehow managed to break into the competition itself to save Mizi and this video just enhances more the way we see her by showing us how strong she is both as leader of the resistance and as a person. Hyuna is by far the most mature of the cast and this video shows it in such a perfect way. Someone like her is exactly what Mizi needed to finally break away from the pain Alien Stage caused her and to search for a path of her own in the freedom she now has. I love how easy going and fun the whole song feels because its no longer a performance for the aliens its a performance for the humans. Its no longer a song trapped beneath all that surrounds Alien Stage. Its a song made for the people that are free from the aliens that's meant to inspire them to keep moving forward and to not stop fighting for the future where the humans hold freedom. All of this also makes the fact that Luka is such a huge trigger for her elevate both of their characters greatly and also just make the whole conflict between them more interesting. What exactly was it that made Hyuna despise this man to the point thinking about him makes her sick? What exactly goes through Luka's mind when it comes to Hyuna specifically? They make me insane in the head i think the day we get more Hyuluka lore is the day i officially pass away forever. Godbless

[preraphaeliteknight]

I've spent a few days thinking about what to do moving forward. It's not the breakup of a celebrity couple that's affected me the most, it's the feeling of losing my safe space in the Tumblr Swiftie fandom. Every time I've logged onto this app in the last few days I've flinched and quickly exited the dash to get away from yet another take mocking and ridiculing Joe. Or minimizing his very valid fears. "Unbothered 3.0". Rewriting history to make the last 6 years seem insignificant. Comparing him to CH as if petty jealousy is the issue here and not years of harassment. Celebrating the return of Taylor Swift, The Brand, no matter what that means for her future happiness. And circulating pressers that make it sound like Joe was a therapy dog who's no longer needed. All of which is making me feel physically ill. For both of them. And even when this stuff isn't coming from the people I follow (who for the most part have nuanced and fair takes), it's coming from their anons. And no matter what I do I can't get away from the outright cruelty and shocking lack of empathy for the person Taylor has credited with saving her life. Even though swifties know better than anyone what Joe has had to put up with for over half a decade. Given that treatment, I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that this is how he's being discarded. But fuck it hurts. So where does this leave me? This blog was never supposed to be an update account or an ask blog. I just wanted a space to fangirl over my favorite actor. But in the last few months this has become a space for Joe fans to be excited for his upcoming projects and clown over castings (remember a few weeks ago when we were giddily figuring out his next movie because of insta follows? yeah, take me back to that please). And I know some of you rely on this blog as a space to both appreciate Joe and vent your frustrations with his unfair treatment. I have 70+ asks in my inbox right now, the vast majority of which are well written, thoughtful takes on what's been happening. And I agree with pretty much all of it. Thank you for taking the time to send me your thoughts. But the truth is, I simply don't have the emotional capacity to reply to them right now. I can't do it. I can't talk and think and dwell on this. To quote a song that's too painful to listen to right now: "I'm just too soft for all of it." So I feel like I have two options if I ever want to be able to be active on Tumblr again: 1. Unfollow all swifties. Because just seeing pictures of Taylor (especially from the pap walk) makes me feel ill. And it's affecting my opinion of her even though I'm mad at her fans, and not her. And I don't want that to happen or the music to be tarnished. But I also don't want to break mutuals and hurt someone's feelings. And I want to know what's going on with Taylor. I'm a huge fan of her too, and I want to be excited for tour and the re-recordings. So that's why I'm going with option 2: Take a proper break. A real one, this time. Hopefully this all won't feel so hard with some time and distance. I don't know if it will solve anything, because swifties will get back to talking about Joe in the future (whenever she makes art about this) and then I'll probably have to flinch every time I open this app again. Because he will have been reduced to yet another ex swifties can make fun of. So maybe I have to go with both options in the end. If I do, I hope any mutuals out there know not to take it personally. I wish more than anything that I could return to the days of being a casual fan who wouldn't have thought twice about any of this. And maybe that's what I need to try to get back to. For my own sanity's sake. I'm sorry to any Joe fans out there who need a place to vent. I feel like I'm letting you down, but I just can't do this right now. Maybe I'll be able to in the future. Maybe I'll leave this blog and go back to my main instead where the subjects will be more varied. I don't know. I'll always be a Joe fan though, and no shitty presser or swiftie narrative is going to change that.

Please just be kind to each other, and to Taylor and Joe. Let's hope the best for both of them, and please please please don't tarnish all the good that this relationship gave them. And all the beautiful music it gave us.

All my love

[sweetbillwriting]

This Is Bad, Billy

The Finale Part

Characters: AU Bill Skarsgård, here called Billy. He's inspired by real life Bill but also the character Clark Olofsson in the Netflix series Clark.

Setting: This story is set in the 60s New York.

Warnings: 18+, historical preferences, mental health problems, mental illness, abuse, racism, drugs, mentions about sex, mentions about rape. All opinions is the characters' own and not mine.

Note: This is the finale part! Thank you for reading, liking and reblogging 💖

I walked in farther into the room to look at the lacy thing laying next to Billy's pillow and it really was a pair of panties. I stood and stared at them until he came up next to me. 

"Is it something?" He asked, wondering and searching my eyes. I made an unamused sound and looked at him with a headshake. 

"Is that a pair of panties?" I asked and pointed to the garment. Bill looked towards the bed then took a pair of fast steps towards the bed, laughed and put the panties in his back pocket. 

"You're unbelievable! You have been free for like a couple of hours!" 

Bill gave me a confused look and an exaggerated shoulder shrug. 

"That has nothing to do with it!" 

"Yes it has! I’m really starting to wonder what kind of person you are! And if I want to help you!" I said upset. I thought that would make him shut up but Billy looked just even more provoked. 

"So what? You don't want to help me because I slept with someone? What did you expect? That you and I would become an item as soon as we met?" 

"No! Or… You don't even remember me so that wouldn't happen!" 

Bill shook his head with a smile even if he didn't think it was funny then he dragged both of his hands through his slicked back hair. 

"It doesn't matter! Come on! We haven't seen each other for like seven years! You're married and I am engaged!" 

I stared at him but had a hard time understanding what he was saying. He sighed and dragged a pinky through his eyebrow while looking down at the floor. 

"Engaged?" I asked with a small voice and sat down on Landon's bed that was behind me. Billy sat down next to me but he couldn't stop himself from smiling. 

"Yeah and now there is really a chance for me to marry her. Before it had just felt like I was holding her back but… You can make it possible for us to live as wife and husband." 

He looked at me with pleading eyes and then carefully laid his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it away fast and stood up with an irritated groan. 

"Why would I help you with that?! You have lied to me this whole time!" 

He looked confused and leaned forward with one hand on his knee. He was dressed in a well worn white tank top and the dark blue pants from the institution. I was so angry at him but he made it hard for me to not look at him inappropriately. 

"I haven't lied? Or not about that. I just don't talk about myself like that. I'm sorry, but I don't need to talk with you about such things. I'm so grateful that you want to help me but you're not a part of my life." 

His words were hurtful and I wanted to object but nothing of what he said was untrue. He hadn't shared anything with me, not when we were younger and not now. 

"And I shouldn't need to ask this… But aren't you married?" 

I made a frustrated sound and stomped my feet like a toddler and then walked out from his hotel room. Like I would help a guy like him. 

I walked around the hotel a while to calm down. If I came back to Daniel all upset he would have wondered what had happened and would probably even figure it was something with Billy again. He didn't deserve that. We had decided to go back to Spain and leave this mess behind and I owed him to just stay on that path now, without letting Billy affect me. 

I took a deep breath before walking into the hotel room but felt the air I exhale get stuck in my nose when I heard Landon's voice from the room. He was lying on his back in the unmade bed while Daniel sat in an armchair in front of him. It was obvious Landon was the one who spoke while my husband was the listener. 

"So yeah, like my life has also sucked without him you know? I just want to be around him even if I get in his shadow. But he's my best friend." 

My husband gave me a quick look but then looked back at Landon again when he continued to talk. 

"And now he is all grown up. A fiancee? I didn't even think he had it in him to have a friend with benefits type of deal. He has always been a free soul. Like me. But he is fucking engaged now and maybe he can help me get grounded too?" Landon looked at me when he stopped talking and gave me a weird looking smile I couldn't interpret. 

"So what's his plan now?" Daniel asked and sat up in the arm chair. It was like my presence had made him get an idea and he looked at me with bright eyes. He probably just saw the engagement as something good, even if it didn't matter now when we would go. 

"If he’s freed, he will marry her. Have like five kids, I think. And become a teacher. He hopes to be able to teach in literature and drama." 

Daniel nodded with a smile while I just waited on them to be done so we could take a cab to the airport. I didn't even want to be at the hotel anymore. 

"Honey, you heard? Such a beautiful plan. Almost like ours. You must help him," Daniel said and stood up so he could walk up to me. Even if I had thought it would be over now I wasn't surprised Daniel thought I should help Billy, now when he wasn't his competition anymore. Daniel was a great man and he would always stand on the less fortunates's side. They were qualities that I loved in him, values I also tried to live by so the most natural thing was to help Billy but there was too much that made it hard. At that moment it was mostly the thought of seeing Billy with another woman that stopped me but what gave me most anxiety was meeting my dad. 

Landon looked at my face that had become pale and I looked back at him. If he hadn't now learned to read me he would have begun to beg me to do it but now we looked at each other and we knew that I would do it even if everything in me screamed not to. But it was the right thing, I would never be able to live with myself knowing I had once again left Billy in an institution and even if I didn't know him, I knew he didn't deserve that. 

××× 

I had pictured the hearing would be in a big courtroom where I could sit in the back avoiding my father but the room where Billy's freedom was discussed wasn't bigger than mine and Daniel's living room in Spain. It was three rows of chairs behind two tables where Billy and Tom Thomas sat by the left one while the prosecutor sat by the other. In front of them sat the judge, a white little man in thick rimmed glasses. I looked at him while walking up to the stand. I had seen that my father was sitting behind the prosecutor and I would do everything in my power to not look at him. 

"Good morning Ms. Woods, good morning," said Tom Thomas in his normal energetic way and I gave him a nod and a small smile as an answer. 

"In 1961 you worked as a candy striper, it's not common candy stripers work in the psychiatric ward so how did you find a position there?" He asked and I looked towards Billy who sat leaned back in his chair. He had a black suit on and played with his tie. 

"I was late so the doctor in charge gave me that job as a punishment but I liked it so I think I talked with the head nurse there," I said and pretended to not remember how I had lied to be able to be close to Billy. 

"When did you meet Bill Skarsgård there?"

"I think it was the second time I was there." 

The judge sighed. 

"Thomas, can you maybe come to the important things? This isn't a trial." 

Tom Thomas looked a bit embarrassed. He probably wanted this to be something bigger where he could be the lawyer in the spotlight. 

"Ms. Woods, can you tell us about your relationship with Mr. Skarsgård. Did you have a sexual relationship with him?" 

I turned in my chair in discomfort and it was then I also forgot to not look to my right because just when I was about to answer I saw my dad's face. He looked at me with dark eyes. He was older and thinner and didn't look the way I remembered him but his eyes were the same but now even harsher, forcing me to stay quiet. 

"Ms. Woods?" Said Tom a bit worried and tried to make me look at him. I looked at Billy instead. He also looked worried and picked at the cuticle on his thumb. 

"Yes. Yes," I just said as an answer and nodded. 

"Was it under consent?" 

I nodded without letting Billy go with my eyes. 

"I'm sorry but you must answer verbally." 

I gave Tom a quick look then I continued to watch Billy again. He looked at me, with big boyish eyes and I made a mental sigh. 

"Yes. I wanted to have sex with him." 

The judge cleared his throat in discomfort and Tom gave me an alarming look. He had said I should act like a woman with class, but never as a victim. To say out loud that I wanted to have sex with Billy was probably not so classy. 

"Why do you think your father said to the police Skarsgård had raped you?" 

"Objection, speculative," the prosecutor said and Tom gave the man an annoyed look.

"I’ll rephrase it, did you give any reasons for your father to believe Skarsgård raped you?" 

I licked my lips and looked down in my lap. I could feel my dad's eyes on me, like a sharp knife cutting in the side of my neck. 

"I let Billy climb in through the window to my bedroom during the night and my parents caught us. But I said to my dad that I wanted to be with Billy intimately. I said it loud and clear." I said the word just as loud and clear then and looked towards the judge. The judge looked back at me, in my eyes, from left to right with a serious expression. I was cleaned up and pretty. My wedding ring adorned my finger and in the third row seat sat my husband as support. I looked like a classy woman, a classy woman that one time had been a stupid in love teenager. 

I heard my dad clear his throat. Me and the judge had looked at each other a long time and probably knew everyone else in the room what I knew. The judge had seen me, he had listened to me. 

××× 

I stood on the stairs to the courthouse when two long arms wrapped around me from behind. They were thick with muscles and the chest so broad it swallowed me up. I gave Daniel a look who stood in front of me, smiling in discomfort but when I felt Billy's cheek against mine I couldn't stop myself from shutting my eyes and smiling. 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he said against my cheek and lifted me up from the ground. I giggled and snuggled in even closer to him before he sat me down again. Before he had come out I had just stood heavy with anxiety, listening to Daniel's sweet talk about our future in Spain but Billy had made that anxiety die just from a simple hug. I looked at him with a smile while he shook Daniel's hand and also thanked him and then he breathed out in relief. 

"We're going back to the hotel, mom will be there soon," I said and Billy nodded feverishly. 

"I want to meet her. Is it okay if I meet her before she testifies?" 

I shrugged my shoulders but then looked behind me, a bit of commotion made me stop. It was just Samuel and his family coming out from the doors, applauding and cheering for Billy. Billy turned around, laughed and made a bow. Samuel looked at him with a fatherly look and gave him a hard hug. Billy continued to hug the rest of the family. I didn't think so much of it, I even started to make myself ready to go when I saw that he didn't just hug the last person but also kissed her. She was beautiful but also so similar to Samuel. Billy kissed her again, much more intimate and the rest of the family shouted and cheered. 

"Soon I can marry you. I will give you the biggest, most expensive wedding New York has seen!" 

The girl laughed and threw herself around his shoulders. I just stood and stared at them. A moment ago his body had been pushed against mine, killing all my anxiety. Now I had anxiety again and it got even worse when my father came out from the courthouse with another man in a suit. He looked at Samuel's big family and Billy celebrating before they had even got the verdict. I could see in his expression what he thought and he made it even obvious when he spit right in front of their feet. He was an awful man and I would never ever want to be even remotely alike him. 

××× 

I could feel my mother's nerves when we walked into the courtroom. I looked at her while she looked around nervously. Maybe it had been better if she met Billy before the witness stand but I hadn't felt like meeting him. There were too many emotions surrounding his engagement and I needed time to be able to accept that he would soon be a married man. 

"Where, where is he?" Asked my mother with a hard grip around her handbag's handles. Just because I was thinking about Billy I thought she met him and gave him a fast look where he sat in the front with Tom. He tried to say hello to us but I turned to my mother when I realized that she was talking about my father. 

"I don't know, but it will be okay. Me and Daniel will take care of you. And there's guards everywhere." 

She nodded worriedly and took off her hat when she saw the judge come out. In the corner of my eye I could see Tom and Billy come toward us and I took a deep breath. I really just wanted to be a good human, a good person, prove I was nothing like my dad and accept Billy's engagement and be nice and calm with him. 

"Mrs. Woods?" Asked Billy with a small smile. It felt like it would have been more natural if Tom was the one addressing her but Billy was the charming one of them. My mom looked at him up and down and then took a deep breath. I wondered if she still had negative thoughts about him. 

"Mr. Skarsgård," she said and shook his hand formally. 

"It's really nice to meet you and I'm so grateful for you doing this." 

She just gave him a nod with her lips pursed. She was nervous but she was also shy and being in a new environment probably made her uncomfortable. 

"I'm Tom Thomas, Mr. Skarsgård's lawyer. I hope you know this will go fine and I don't have many questions for you and I don't think the prosecutor has either," said Tom and shook her hand harshly, not at all in that soft gentle way Billy had. I looked at Billy and he gave me a nervous smile. Of course he was also nervous, this was the final day of the hearing. Tomorrow he could be a free man or be forced back to the institution. Before I had time to smile back he had turned to my mother and taken her hand in his carefully. She looked up at him with big eyes and swallowed hard. 

"Your… Mr. Woods isn't here, so you can be calm." 

I furrowed my brows and looked between Billy and Tom. 

"Where is he?" 

Billy didn't let go of my mother's eyes and talked just to her calmly. 

"He has run away. If I win this trial they will arrest him for what he has done to me and he chose to run before they could take him." 

I looked at Billy and my mom, she had laid her other hand over Billy's forearm and hugged it hard. 

"I will give all the help you need. Okay?" He said lowly to her and she nodded with tears in her eyes. 

"I just feel so guilty…" she said with a low voice and looked down at their hands. 

"Don't. This is Mr. Woods' wrongdoing and it can't be easy to live with a man like him."

My mother nodded and let her tears fall. Tom gave her a tissue from his briefcase and she took it but she continued to just look at Billy. 

××× 

Blue, red, white. The flags stared at me while we waited. They wanted to tell me about this country's pride and how justice would be skipped in these halls. I really hope they were right. Mom, me and Daniel stood in a corner outside of the courtroom to hear Billy's verdict. My mom didn't feel like she had any right to be in there, on Billy's side so we stood in the hallway and waited. I had rather wanted to be there but Billy's whole family was there, Samuel's family. I understood now why Billy called him dad. He actually was his father, his father in law. 

The door opened by Billy himself and I knew what verdict he had got with the big smile on his lips. It was what we all had expected but no one was sure and my father had succeeded in manipulating the truth before.

"I'm free!" Screamed Billy a bit too loud for being in a big empty hallway but no one tried to kill his joy where he stood with his arms in the air. Everyone just laughed with him, everyone around him celebrated. I wanted to throw myself round his neck and kiss him, claim him now when he was free but I knew better. He had a fiance that had waited for him, who had promised him faithfulness even if he was locked up. I watched him lift her up in his arms and spin her around and they laughed together. I smiled because even if I wanted him I was happy seeing him so in love. 

"Is that his girlfriend?" Asked my mother carefully. Billy's fiance was probably not the woman my mother expected a man white as snow to be together with. 

"It's his fiancee," I answered shortly with a smile. I met Daniel's eyes and he smiled too and took my hand in his. 

××× 

Billy succeeded in getting us all a big table at a fancy restaurant. It was obvious people around us didn't appreciate our company's loud ways and some were my father's type and looked at Samuel and his family with annoyance just because of their skin color. I was afraid my mother would act the same but became happily surprised when I saw her talk with Samuel's wife. 

"So you worked as a candy striper when you met?" I asked Billy's fiancee, Shirlee. She sat opposite of me in a green tweed dress over a white blouse. 

"No, no. I wasn't that young. I was a caretaker but it wasn't for a long time, they stopped having female caretakers." She gave Billy a look who sat next to her and he smirked a bit. 

"But now you're a teacher?" I said with a bright smile to mask my jealousy. 

"Yes! And it's so fulfilling, I've even succeeded to put that idea into Billy's head, he would be an amazing teacher." 

We continued to talk about easy subjects and she was impressed by my model career. I didn't mention Billy had been a big reason why I had succeeded but I looked at him with a small thankful smile while talking. Shirlee didn't seem to notice and would maybe not see it as a big thing either, Billy gave her so much attention and closeness. I couldn't stop myself from feeling a need to show off that me and Daniel also were in love so I played with his hand in mine and dragged my fingers over his neck. When I did that it felt like Billy looked at us but if he did he had turned away so fast I didn't succeed to get it confirmed. 

It was a good night, everyone in Samuel's family was so nice and everyone wanted to celebrate Billy's freedom, even my mom drank a bit too much but by 9 pm Daniel thought it was time to go back to the hotel. I had given up on Billy and with that I also tried to embrace my role as Daniel's wife so I let him decide and together with my mom we walked to the hotel. 

My mom looked around when we walked. Her eyes were big and she wore a small smile the whole time. She had never been to New York but seemed to really like what she was seeing. 

"Can't we just get a drink in the hotel bar? I just… Want to look at people. They dress so nice and look so fancy," she said with a giggle. I had never seen my mom like that and I giggled too. Daniel looked tired at us and rubbed his eyes. 

"I'm going to bed…" he just said and then steered his steps to the elevators. My mom did the same but looked at me with a smile. 

"I have a nicer dress in my room I want to change to," she said with a playful smile and I smiled encouragingly. 

I followed her to her room while Daniel went to our room and I sat down on the bed while she changed and fixed her makeup. She was different in New York. Or without dad. 

"Billy is so sweet. I can understand why you fell so hard for him," she said while putting on some new blue eyeshadow. 

A smiled a little but I felt more saddened by talking about him.

"And he's so tall!" She said with a giggle.

"Yeah…" I cleared my throat. 

"What do you think about Daniel, you know my husband?" 

My mom looked at me through the mirror and smiled a bit. 

"He's sweet too." 

I nodded but smirked sarcastically. 

"But not like Billy?" 

My mother didn't seem to understand what I felt and she smirked back.

"Well, Billy has another charisma and… He has those Hollywood good looks. But Daniel is a sweet guy." 

I wanted to say something snide but she was right and there was also a knock on the door just then so instead of giving my mom an oversensitive comment I opened the door. 

It was Billy. He stood with his hands deep in the front of his suit pants while the white shirt sat sloppy on him, untucked with too many buttons open. His hair was still pushed back but some strains had pushed their way out and laid down in his face. He looked criminally handsome. 

"Oh, hey. I was actually here to talk to your mother?" He said with an amused smile and looked me up and down. 

I gave him a strange look but he looked at something behind me and waved. 

"Mrs. Woods, is it okay if I come in?" He asked with a charming smile and stretched. 

She smiled warmly at him and looked at herself in the mirror in her powder box. 

"Of course, what do you want this late?" 

Billy took some steps into the hotel room without looking at me. 

"Well I was afraid you would go tomorrow without me being able to say goodbye. I want to give you my contact details so you can call me if you need any help." He took up a folded piece of paper from his pants pockets and stretched it out for her. 

"Oh… But Billy, you don't need to help me? I owed you help." She opened the note and read the numbers. I looked at them and felt a bit left out, I didn't really have anything to do with this. 

"It doesn't matter. You helped me and for that I want to help you, if you need it." 

My mom smiled warmly and stretched out her hand towards Billy but to her surprise he dragged her into a hug. She laughed a little, almost embarrassed and Billy gave her a big smile. I started to wonder if I should leave them alone when he turned to me. 

"What happened to all your porcelain dolls?" He asked with a playful smile. I looked at him confused and gave my mom a fast look. 

"I don't know…" I was on my way to ask my mother when a question to Billy showed up in my head instead. 

"Do you remember them?" 

Billy laughed a little and sat down next to me on the bed. 

"I actually laid at night and thought about what you had said when you testified and suddenly it "clicked". First you were just one of… my many female friends but when I got some information the pieces fell into place." 

I looked at him with big eyes while he looked back at me with a boyish smile. He looked just like he did during our nights together. Just a bit older and much sexier. I almost didn't notice my mom slip out from the room to give us some privacy. 

"You were so young and sweet. I wanted you so much but felt bad someone like me would be your first…" 

He took my hand in his and I moved closer to him. 

"No. Don't feel like that. I wanted you… I wanted you so bad…" 

×××

Seven Months Later 

He wore a black suit again but this one looked nicer. The one he had at the hearing was also nice but it was a bit out of style. This looked more in line with 1968s fashion, more daring. I smiled at seeing him from afar and took a sip from my glass. Billy looked back at me with a smirk while he talked with some people he worked with and with Landon by his side.  They laughed together but he still gave me a look. 

When he gave the men his full attention again I looked around in the restaurant. It was decorated with pink and red roses to fit a wedding. It was a fine restaurant but Billy had money to pay for it. I sighed a little to myself and corrected my dress that sat a bit too tight. 

"You must entertain everyone," I said with a big smile when Billy came up to me along with Shirlee. His bride. She wore a short white lace dress with long sleeves and looked beautiful but also a bit sexy, such a girl Billy should have. 

Billy made an amused sound and shook my hand and then Daniel's that stood behind me. 

"You look lovely," said Daniel to Shirlee when he shook her hand. 

"Thank you! And so do you," she turned to me and looked at me the way everyone looked at me for the moment, then down to my belly that was big and round. 

I smiled at her and gave Billy a fast look before looking at Daniel with a smile. He laid an arm around me and pulled me closer to his body.

"What month are you in?" She asked and once again I gave Billy a fast look who looked at me with big eyes while playing with his glass between his fingers. 

"I'm seven months pregnant," I said and smiled a little nervously. Shirlee just nodded brightly. 

"Congratulations," said Billy and turned to Daniel. "A baby! Great job man," he said with a smirk and Daniel laughed a little. 

"Can I…?" Billy lifted his hand to show he wanted to touch my belly and I nodded a little with a hammering heart. He laid a big warm hand over my yellow dress and I watched him drag it over my belly. When I looked at his face he just gave me a sweet smile. 

"Bill, it's almost time for us to go," said Shirlee and pulled lightly in his arm. Billy let me go and took her hand in his. 

"Thank you for coming all the way from Spain," said Shirlee to us while starting to walk towards her parents. 

"Take care," said Billy with a nod and looked at me with an unreadable face and then down to my belly. 

×