#also yeah i have my own opinions on this that ill probably put in the comments

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

obviously considering this blog theme this will probably be kinda biased so maybe later ill request it on polling-sonic-fans but shhhh

[perlukafarinn]

Usually when Claire works the closing shift at Rocky's, she and Dean will wind down with a couple of beers at the end of the night. It's a nice little ritual Claire looks forward to every time she comes around, though she'd never admit as much out loud.

Tonight, Dean has mixed up a batch of one of his specialty cocktails - The Queen of Moondoor. It's bright, a sort of red-orange color, and has a sweet and sour taste that makes Claire's jaw ache.

"Do you like it?" Dean asks, like Claire's opinion really matters.

She nods. "It's good."

She's not lying. Dean isn't really a cocktails kind of guy but he's put a lot of effort into every detail of Rocky's. From the various pride flags carefully hung behind the bar, to the salt painted into the windowsills, every inch of the place is meticulously planned out. Rocky's isn't officially a hunter's bar - though it is explicitly a gay bar - but it's become an unofficial gathering place of queer hunters across the continental US.

Even the cocktails on the menu are Dean's own invention. All of them have a backstory, some of which Claire isn't privy to. She knows enough to understand why the Queen of Moondoor is Dean's personal favorite, though.

It also packs a surprising punch. Two drinks in, and Claire already feels herself tilting from tipsy into full-on drunk. She slows down her pace.

"How long are you planning on sticking around now?" Dean asks, because free booze is never just free booze with him. There's always the interrogation. He's almost as much of a mom as Jody is.

"A few days," Claire answers vaguely. "Maybe longer, who knows. I don't have any hunts lined up right now and you pay pretty well."

She knows for a fact he pays her double what he does his other bartenders. Neither one of them ever mentions it, though.

"Weren't you heading back to Jody's?"

Claire shrugs, uncomfortable. She had been, before last night's call with Kaia. They're good most days, even with the strain of Claire being on the road half the time, but sometimes when they talk, they'll hit on a sore topic for one of them and things will get stilted.

The anniversary of Mom's death is coming up in a couple of weeks. Kaia wanted to join Claire for her visit to the cemetery.

"What's on your mind, Strawberry Shortcake?"

Claire is supposed to roll her eyes now. Tell Dean to fuck off and mind his own business.

She doesn't really want to do that. But she doesn't know how to explain to Dean what she's feeling, either.

"It's stupid," she says. "I'm being dramatic."

"You? Never."

Claire scoffs, and Dean's eyes soften.

"You can talk to me, you know."

"Yeah," Claire says, because she does. He gets her, weirdly enough. They get each other. It probably doesn't say great things about either of them. "I just... I feel like I'm making up problems."

Dean takes a sip of his drink. It's difficult to look dignified, drinking out of a straw, and he does not remotely manage it. "Let me be the judge of that."

"Kaia wants-" Claire stops herself, because that's not the point of it. "I - we're good. Me and Kaia. I don't feel ashamed about it."

Dean waits for her continue.

"I'm a lesbian," Claire adds, even though, duh.

"Congrats," Dean says, and it feels like it could be sarcastic but it's not. He means it.

"I don't think -" no, that's not right. "I know my parents wouldn't be okay with that."

The statement lands heavily between them. It feels bitter on Claire's tongue, an ugly truth held at bay for far too long. She feels awful saying it, like she's failing her parents. Speaking ill of the dead. But it's the truth.

Mom and Dad would make these... comments. And Claire remembers each one with perfect clarity, because she's known something was different about her for a very long time. She knew those comments were aimed at her, even if her parents didn't.

They were wonderful parents in every other aspect. Up until they abandoned her, that is. Claire still can't help but feel like she's failing them, sometimes, being who she is.

"They might have changed their minds," Dean offers. "If they'd known. It's different when it's your own kid."

Claire eyes him, curious. "Was it different for your parents?"

Something crosses over Dean's expression, too quickly for Claire to catch it.

"No," he admits after a beat. He runs his hand over his face. "Maybe - Mom might have been fine with it. She didn't know."

Claire swallows. "But your dad did. And it wasn't different."

She feels cruel, pushing the topic. But there's some perverse part of her that needs the confirmation. Dean reminds her of herself, in a lot of ways. He'd say it was the other way around. If he experienced the rejection that Claire feared as a kid, the one that still scares her even if it's purely theoretical now, then that proves something.

"It wasn't," Dean admits. "But Jimmy Novak was no John Winchester."

Claire's chest aches. There's some hollow triumph at the abstract confirmation of her worst fears. Mostly, she just feels like shit.

"For what it's worth," Dean adds, "I think you're perfect. No notes."

Embarrassingly, Claire's lower lip wobbles. She clears her throat, looking off to the side as she tries to regain her composure.

"You think you're my dad or something?" she asks, voice rough.

Dean shrugs, looking embarrassed himself. "I kind of think of you as my kid, yeah. If that's okay."

Claire crosses her arms, feeling warm and aching and off-kilter. "I - yeah. Yeah, that's fine."

[mukimokai]

having "childlike wonder" doesn't mean a character is "childish" or a little baby

childlike wonder is an attitude: of finding joy in the mundane and enjoying the simpler things in life. Having an inherent interest and excitement in new things, places, and experiences. Wanting to take in every detail of something, even if it's something small. It drives exploration and discovery, wanting to know how the world works and figure it all out. Having inquisitive minds. Being fascinated by the world around oneself. Being open to new perspectives.

childlike wonder doesn't mean "childish."

Yeah. I believe Alhaitham can see Aranara. It makes perfect sense because he has every quality listed above.

Yes: Alhaitham has childlike wonder. No, he is not childish. There is a distinction between "childlike wonder" and "being childish"

So can he see Aranara? Most likely yes, it's probably canon: Web events have always been that way anyway, always introducing you to the characters and their respective personalities and interactions if there are any. Web events are canon in the sense that: if the scenario happening in the event took place, this is how the character would act in said scenario.

Yes, I do think there is enough evidence he can see them just looking at his character as a whole: plus why else would the Sumeru lobby have us turn into Aranara if almost the entire Sumeru cast were adults that the Aranara don't inherently trust? The only character who would've been there in that case would've been Nahida but we had Alhaitham and Nilou as well? And it makes sense for them to be able to see the Aranara so like. I was actually completely unsurprised that Alhaitham and Nilou could see them so uhhh-

oh and also. to the ppl who say "Kaveh can't see the Aranara bcz he's traumatized" girlie. the one child in Yoimiya's quest was going through such a traumatic illness and she could still see them.

Kaveh can't see the Aranara not because he's traumatized or whatever. but because he's pushed away his past. Kaveh is actively removing himself from childlike wonder in favour of idealism: he is constantly chasing after his goals, constantly trying to do more and more, constantly striving for perfection that he forgets the mundane, everyday things in life due to the sheer amount of stress he is putting on himself on a day-to-day basis. Kaveh is also not open to new perspectives; following his own ideals to a point and shutting away anything that contradicts his ideals. He is not an inherently curious character either; we've only seen him comment on a few things that pique his curiosity (i.e. the one voice line abt lightning) but as a whole, he's not interested in much else if it doesn't have to do with the arts or things he is passionate about which is unlike Alhaitham who seems to take an interest in literally everything other than gossip.

again: childlike wonder and being childish are different things, PLEASE understand that...

i might have 50 million people come at my throat for my take on all this but like ykw idgaf: I'm entitled to my opinion and this is how i see the whole situation.

I do think people who said it's "out-of-character" for Alhaitham to see Aranara are either mischaracterizing him or they don't understand what exactly it takes for Aranara to be seen by adults. Maybe it's both; i know a lot of people skipped the Aranara quest dialogue, and, for the longest time, Alhaitham has been one of the most wildly mischaracterized characters in the fandom (and still is being mischaracterized to this day unfortunately) so idk tbh.

and ppl always say Nilou is bland so like... i don't think ppl pay much attention to her at all which is unfortunate because she's really silly actually. Nilou stan number 1 right here tbh.

idk it's just my thoughts on it: yeah I do think it can be seen as "basically canon" but I don't think it should be used to justify "omg!! hahahahah they're so childish lmaoo!! alhaitham and nilou are such babies ahahah!"

like. gen. nuh uh. what.

yes i call them babies because they're my babies but that's just bcz i like their characters, i called them that even before this whole fiasco with the aranara... so like. uhm.

this was way longer than i planned it to be. sorry for the yapfest holy.

considered not posting this but eh who cares, it's just my take lol

[fromtheheavens]

IS THAT SOLOMON!?!? (REDESIGN)!!

SO! This redesign actually took me less than 15 hours! ლ(⌒▽⌒ლ) (Could that purely be because I design him so simply? Probably…)

BUT BESIDES THAT

If you couldn’t tell from my use of emoticons- It’s Panda again!!!! (cause it’s a joint account obvi~~) And I literally think that this redesign turned out pretty good. However the hair was pretty tricky (T-T*) (And I don’t even know if Solomon simps are down with long hair Solomon like I AM DOWN with long hair Solomon, but anyway…) Solomon is our most head-cannoned character (Believe it or not..) so be prepared for that yap. Yeah and I don’t know what else to say… so, ONTO THE GOODS!!!!! ヾ(^ ^ゞ

ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª ENJOY‼︎

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ·͙*̩̩͙✧˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙- REDESIGN EXPLANATION -*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙☆ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙ ✧‧͙ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

SO- Hello! with this design came a few changes that I’ll explain now! YES YES, anyhow the first change that I made was Solomon’s beautiful long majestic locks (>▽<)!! The reason he has long hair? Cause why not- but also because it makes him look more sly in my opinion! Moving to the outfit, since it seems he keeps it simple I just gave him wide arm sleeves with like constellations and stars on it like how it is on his jacket

So now basically bro just put his jacket on…..welp- NOW ONTO THE HEADCANONS

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ·͙*̩̩͙✧˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙- HEADCANONS -*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙☆ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙ ✧‧͙ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

So the headcanon section will be in a different format since it’s borderlining an au… (oops! σ(*´∀｀*)). And there’s a lot! So let us know if you want to hear some of our head canons ✨in-depth✨~ and more of them.

GIANT FYI OUR SOLOMON IS DEFO INSPIRED BY THE BIBLE SOLOMON SO BEAR THAT IN MIND!!!!!(Because I’m putting my catholic knowledge to use ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ ))

-Solomon is pasty because of how long he’s lived so his body has stop producing melanin(Is that how it works? Idk but no way bro can be from Jerusalem and that pale so…¯\(ツ)/¯)

-Tattoos| bro is Tatted up from the neck down just absolutely covered. Why? Because he has something something pacts and is a wh*re for a new tool to use.

- Bro is messed up in the head | okay bro has lived wayyyyy to old to not be a little ill. I think to a certain extent bro lacks compassion and empathy and things, and doesn’t really realize fully how much of his humanity he lost…….(Me personally I wouldn’t take that L but y’know) Also just because he doesn’t age doesn’t mean his brain is doing good and I’m sure bro doesn’t remember plenty of things.

-Bro doesn’t know what to do with himself | I think bro has a really big brain cage but sometimes it’s just the DVD symbol bouncing around. Like bro will try to rizz Mc with the weirdest pickup line known to man then be confused when he gets a side-eye. There is no way bro doesn’t act like an npc sometimes. Like there’s so many things he can’t really experience anymore because of his immortality, which makes him scary .. ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

-Bro is shady… | Idk don’t know bout ya’ll but I did not trust this man the first time he pulled up in the game. Like “Yeah I just transported to hell and now I’m surrounded by demons, but my real fear is the other “human” student here”. Like bro just gives off mass-manipulatior vibes. Like Hannibal making Mason eat his own nose type manipulation( If you get that reference I’ll kiss you （￣ε￣ʃƪ）) Like if I’m being honest I don’t trust bro as far as I can throw him. (No shade to my bro ski though😫✌️)

Okayyyy! that’s all I have to say for you today pookies~ Thank you for reading!!!!!

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ·͙*̩̩͙✧˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙- OTHER REDESIGNS -*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙☆ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙ ✧‧͙ ˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Lucifer

Diavolo

Satan

[spiralling-thoughts]

Loona would make an awful and abusive friend for Octavia

(Sorry if I might be rude and pity in this post , but this have been bothering me for so long and I feel like I should voice my opinion on the matter now disclaimer I mean no ill will towards anyone and I don't harass people who write about this idea neither should you this is just me voicing MY PERSONAL OPINION so are we cool here?)

So I have seen many and I mean MANY fanfics ,fanart,ect of the idea that loona would make an awesome older sister to Octavia and be her "first real friend who understands her " and some take it as far as shipping (sorry but the shipping aspect of this is really gross loona is 22 while Octavia is 17 this is pedophilia) now I will be honest I personally think this is sugar quoting and people giving loona to much credit, this woman is ABUSIVE (yes I said it she's a more accurate representation of abuse than stella and yes abusers could be traumatized victims) this woman beats and attacks her adoptive father who always shower showed her with affection and she knows hed get over it this is an extremely toxic trait, she kept insulting moxxie about being fat (even though he's a stick figure) until she gave him body image issues and she starts pity fights like how she did in queen bee now in what world would someone like this be a good older sister towards anyone?like imagine if Octavia asked loona to dial down her attitude a bit what would loona do? Would she listen to her NAH if she'd beat up her own father for that whose to say she wouldn't do the same for Octavia?, and their conversation in seeing stars....oh boy I was holding back trying not to throw my phone when this part came there are a bunch of posts about how nonsensical this part was but the long and short of it is that loona doesn't have any right to tell Octavia to put up with stolas when she herself treats her father poorly and she straight up lied to Octavia, stolas wasn't looking for her he was pathetically sitting around in the theatre getting thirsty over blitz and he wasn't all that freaked out that he's daughter ran away because of him, so loona literally gaslighted Octavia to apologise and come back to her neglectful father (yes for the millionths time stolas is neglectful) , this just makes their "friendship" all the more jarring and toxic, just because both are goth girls with daddy issues doesn't mean they will be instantly healthy friends their issues, upbringing, situations are completely different, Octavia is getting neglected by her father who constantly puts hes own desires before her will being and constantly makes her uncomfortable and constantly let her down and break his promises and from her perspective he ruined her home life, loona on the other hand is being rude and abusive towards her father who so far gave her affection, protection and while yes he was once over protective of her it's understandable considering where he got adopted her from yet even after all of that and after 5 years of being with him she still treats him poorly with only a few moments where she was nice to him and even then she resorts back to not caring about him and being rude and violent and she knows he'll get over it and come back to spoiling her, Octavia is getting emotionally abused by her father while loona is abusing her father THERE SITUATIONS ARE NOT THE SAME and now loona will basically glue Octavia onto her abuser while also probably abusing Octavia either emotionally, mentally, physically I don't see her at all as a kind or understanding or caring person she only act like that when it's convenient to the plot or as a moment to gaslight people into ignoring her awful actions , so yeah I don't think loona would at all be a good person for Octavia to hang out with under any circumstances she'd probably badly influence her and make her mental health worse than it already is , people go out of their way to make her act completely different from what she does in the show to make this s*** idea possible and that's another problem loona like stolas is coddled by the fandom and they always ignore how much of an awful person she actually is instead come up with excuses for her and try to make her look better than she actually is , I get the appeal people might get from this idea but I really don't like it or see it I feel like people are glossing over alot of issues with this whole situation

Thank you for coming to my rant

[suffering-asthmatic-tifosi]

i’ll explain papaya rules for you!!

okay so after oscar’s over take (and im pretty sure after mclaren’s first pit stop) lando’s race engineer comes on the radio and says

“you are allowed to race oscar, papayas rules”

so everyone was kinda confused because no one knows what said “papaya rules” are. so anyway after the race during the press conference, lando gets asked what papaya rules are and if he thought oscar’s overtake fit into those rules. lando basically said that the papaya rules are that they are free to race, but do not make contact. lando thought oscar’s overtake did fit into the rules but could’ve ended badly if he had braked later. zak brown was also asked about it after the race about what papaya rules meant and basically said the same thing that lando said!! but he said they would have to rewatch oscar’s overtake to make sure it applied by the “papaya rules”.

but then everyone (mostly lando fans) started getting mad at oscar and mclaren for allowing oscar to overtake and for them to race. they think that they should’ve swapped the cars on the last lap to allow lando to close the gap to max in the drivers championship a little more.

another thing, in the post-race press conference lando got asked if he needed help to win the championship and he said that he did have help and that his teammate was indeed helping him. he also said that he didn’t want to win the championship by begging for track position over his teammate. he said it was something the team would have to implement race by race. and oscar had nothing to add to that.

i hope this explained it and i probably added wayyyy to much details!! but it’s very interesting to me as a die hard oscar fan, to see everyone hating on him for racing and not giving the position to lando, even though the team said nothing about giving it up. but ill let you have your own opinion on the situation <3

Anon you’re and actual angel. Like genuinely you deserve a star here ⭐️

This topic now intrigues me more as a lifetime Lando fan and a new Oscar fan. Honestly I think, always thought tbh, that whenever Zak says that there is no number 1 driver, he’s just lying bc it’s Lando, we all know it’s Lando guys.

On that note, I think this Papaya Rules stuff is not very healthy for the future. Like how is this gonna work in a few months when the inevitable is going to happen and Lando is 3 points from the championship and Oscar is only p3. Who are “Papaya Rules” gonna help out at that point?

I get it, racing each other can be dangerous especially considering Lando’s lead. But making a petty kitty papaya rules is not the way guys. I get McLaren is trying to be the new hip team.. (i.e holister merch and like every pr thing ever (I could be wrong but McLaren feels like it like started this wave of F1 merch in American malls bc when F1 merch started rolling out it was all McLaren merch.) (sorry for all the () but on all that McLaren merch, when a driver is put on it it’s ALWAYS Lando. I own Hollister McLaren merch, it’s all Lando. And for the New RB merch at Hollister, it’s all obviously Max bc he’s the number 1 driver. So yeah sry for the Tangent)

.. but I think treating the boys like Kindergarteners with papaya rules is not it. There is a better way guys. I’m like 79.678% sure they aren’t gonna be the next Maxiel Baku 2018.

But I’m an idiot so I’m probably vry wrong. THANK YOU ANON FOR THE EXPLANATION I WAS ACTUALLY SO CONFUSED AND SO WAS MY DAD (another big Lando fan lol)

[sdv-rants]

Leave Shane alone :(

Thinking you should be able to "fix" him misses the entire point of his story. He's still recovering and probably always will be. People with serious mental health issues don't just randomly get better and turn their life around by getting married. Shane can be in love with the farmer and still struggle with his mental illness and relapses as an addict. People who don't struggle with this stuff constantly get mad that he can't just magically be fixed or get better. Have you considered that maybe his story just isn't for you

CW for mentions of mental health struggles and alcohol abuse

tl;dr ,, i dont at all think shane needs to just be magically fixed, i just would love to see more in his post-marriage story showing him sobering up and visibly changing a little in a positive way. i dont want him to immediately change and be “perfect”, nobody is perfect, i just think it would be really cool to visibly see changes in his character after marrying him.

(full rant under the cut)

actually after posting that rant made me think about this a whole lot more, and i dont like how i worded some things and i can totally understand and relate to him most likely always going through recovery, my only problem is i wish there was maybe more actual dialogue and story to build that if that makes sense?? but honestly i could say that about sooo many of the marriage candidates. now, maybe their story feels slightly unfinished so you can sort of fill in the blanks yourself, and i totally can understand that being the case.

i completely see where you’re coming from, and i don’t entirely like how i worded my last rant. i think i only said the things i did because with shanes story it kind of hits a little close to home, having a lot of people close to me who ive watched go through similar situations as this character, and i think i was just projecting a little bit.

as someone who also struggles with mental health and other forms of addiction not in the form of substance abuse, i think i also relate to shane a lot, and seeing him go through the things he does within his story, it sort of reminds me of myself and reminds me of how much i wish i could be “fixed” in a way.

i also dont at all think people who struggle with any sort of addictions or mental health problems should be “fixed” or need to be “fixed”, i was referring to how a lot of people quote “i can fix him” and phrases like that when talking about shane, i definitely shouldve worded everything much better though. i meant that in that position if you’re someone who thinks you can “fix” anyone, yeah, you cant. and people dont need to be fixed. i do think people who struggle with addiction can be given support to recover though, and i guess i just wish that was more prominent in shanes story. i suppose im projecting a bit of my own personal life onto his story, cuz i would love to see portrayed in his story him sobering up and there being more visible changes in his life and his character. obviously i dont think he should just immediately turn into the “perfect” man overnight, nobody is perfect and yes, he will always struggle with certain things, and thats okay. i hope i’ve clarified my viewpoint on his story a little better, but im very bad at putting my exact thoughts into the proper wording, so i do apologize for anything ive said that may be confusing, feel free to ask for clarification and i can try my best to explain. :)

thank you for the input btw anon!! shanes character is one id like to talk about more in a much more positive light too, but when i typed yesterdays rant i had just been thinking about his story a lot and what i personally wished it looked like post marriage, but obviously we all have our own opinions on how each characters story should’ve looked, and thats ok.

i personally kind of think all of the characters story should’ve looked different after marrying them, just because i feel like it feels sort of stagnant once married obviously. but yk this is a small indie game with a solo creator, i cant imagine how difficult it would be to flesh out these characters anymore LMAO, but thats why i like this community so much. i like seeing every individuals perspective on each character and their stories throughout the game.

sorry this rant was so long LMFAO and i also apologize for my first two rants being about shane (and not being in the most positive light). i’ll definitely try and talk about my thoughts on shane and his story more soon though, trying to look at all of the things i love about his story.

ive been typing for way too long so im ending this here LMFAO, please feel free to leave input or any other questions, feedback, etc etc

[fictionfixations]

birthday bloom kalim

notice how much more azul speaks then kalim, cause azul's all flatter-y and like. the type to ig do ill deeds by walking circles around his prey and striking when they dont expect it (as in slipping in little things here and there that could make it harder to notice for example)

but kalims all honest and more to the point, so he doesnt need as many words to get there

oof

💀 kailm. sweetie...

admittedly i feel like his upbringing of basically being spoiled and kept as happy as can be from any stresses (as in yknow always being first in stuff and doing what he wants- remember that mention of kalim finding jamil during his break cause he asked the security guys to like idfk see th camera footage? or like. to find jamil. like. i mean. he was a kid but also that kind of screams of abuse of authority, but to be fair kalim was under the impression that jamil was his friend and would have no reason to think that jamil wouldnt want to play with him as much as kalim does. you see? because he's been able to see the world through sunshine and rainbows [in comparison to jamil being faced with the harsh reality and meant to be 'mature' enough to know what hes meant to do] it means he misses these cues, that he can be so oblivious to harmful intent. or like. being so positive that it could almost blind him? like

he wants to do his best to stay alive because. remember he mentioned that one time how 'what if [his poisoner i think] had a change of heart? it wouldnt mean anything if he was dead by then'. but thats under the assumption that theres. well. to put it bluntly, good in them and that they would act on it. i really dont know how to word it in a better way.

and. its not that its bad to view things in a hopeful way, its just that too much of it can be harmful.) only does him more harm

cause like. hows he gonna survive on his own? and i mean there might not be a situation like that. but like. by them raising him like that, it means that he doesn't know how to take care of himself.

and while he has servants and everything... im of the opinion that it would've been better to raise him self-sufficient. i mean spoil him as a kid ofc precious bby but also make it clear that he should also kinda be able to depend on himself too? like. like listen

make it clear that while he can trust other people, that they can also betray him. and i get that that creates trust issues, and also idk he probably already knows this in canon (its just that he wants to believe that they can change. and also because it just never occurred to him that jamil could turn on him since hes always been there)

cause. we know his other asim relatives have tried to hurt him. or well. maybe it was only mentioned in kalims' labwear vignette? i thinki it was that one.

so like. understanding that, and then giving him the skills to be able to manage on his own when needed to. not having to rely on other people all the time. cause i mean. well. this isn't the greatest lesson to teach but its like. the only one you can fully trust is yourself??

and i mean yeah he cares for himself (because so many bad things could happen if he died. or others could get hurt/punished because he died.) but it genuinely feels like hes only doing it for others and not for himself

maybe im puliing all of this out of my ass

but im STILL not over kalim talking about how frustrating/annoying it was to know that kalim only won because of jamil. that it was because jamil held back (also in relation to the truth of him always being chosen being broken, because it wasnt true at all. which i mean, if theres something that gets established in your head as what the truth is, finding that it isnt true at all is.. a lot. like. idk. that parents arent invincible, that they're human too.)

and then grim shoots him down with 'i didnt even get picked [to peform]! how do you think I feel?'

and kalim immediately apologizes. like

i swear this is like one of the only times i feel like kalims ever been outside of his happy 'im here for you if you need me' thing

or like one of the only times hes expressed his feelings (and probably knowing he's privileged, so not wanting to express his issues because he knows so many people have it worse than him ?)

and in all honesty. if he ever gets feelings talk about himself in book 4. i forgot a lot of it. and i think it mightve been partially because i knew the twist in advance so it just hurt me going through it knowing that they were wrong of who they suspected so. yeah.

uhmm. as you can see. i have a lot of thoughts about kalim. haha oops

[nfcv-saltmine]

How do people think NetflixVania Alucard is an upgrade. Seriously, who'd pick that horse faced man whore who belittles his "friends" and calls one of the pretentious meanwhile he thinks he's above Trevor for being a drunkard when the later turned to alcohol to cope with his emence trauma (also later Aluacrd turns to booze)

The cold and sharp Alucard who yes in Nocturne of Recollection is petty and shoves Maria away is better because he actually has a bit of a reason. He's had to kill his father twice now, literally hates his entire existence to the point he went to sleep for 300 years and also was made to relive his trauma by Magnus. And he at least tries to change. He has been a bit of a dick to Maria but he grows as a person. NetflixVania horse faced whore does non of that.

NetflixVania horse face, when the succubus took the form of his mother would turn into a raging misogynistic piece of crap essentially making it every last woman's problem for one demons actions. Faced with actual Alucard who when in that situation didn't degrade her. All he did was kill her (and rightfully tell her death is too good for her)

All the posts claiming horse face is a "girls girl" and saying how he's such a baby girl uwu make me want to slap the shit out of them

I swear some people needs to develop their critical skills. I mean if you say you prefer N!Alucard, fine, I don't care, but to say he's better than game Alucard...? Yeah no you lost me there. We're all entitled to our own opinions, but for one: Game!Alucard just looks better thanks to Ayami Kojima ❤️ (and his sprite has more details than N!Alucard entire design) and also, Game!Alucard at least respects his companions and doesn't insult them to their faces and behind their backs. He sees vampires for what they are, monsters, dangers to humans, to the point of hating himself for being only one in half (which already makes him more tragic than N!Alucard, who lives his dhampir nature very well). When Dracula started his genocide, Alucard didn't tell him "yo just kill the ones who killed mom and let the others alone". No - he said "don't kill any human, that's not what mother would've wanted", which makes a great difference. He never talked ill about Trevor, in fact, he remembers him fondly in GoS (i know it's probably not canon but still, my heart...). And we didn't have half as many dialogues and direct interactions with them as we did in the show... but you can bet whatever they make N!Alucard say in Nocturne s2 will not be even half as impactful and heartwarming as GoS made it. I saw the trailer. I mean fuck, I saw the end of s1. He has not changed and still looks down on Belmonts, because this show is incapable of respecting the protagonists of the games they pretend to adapt. One instant he's like "trevor would be proud :)". And the other he says "yeah they're all so annoying lol" (i can't remember his exact words to Annette in the trailer, but I'm not watching it again just for this post). Considering he spent the whole original show being a bitch to Trevor, excuse me if I don't find him STILL insulting him AND HIS BLOODLINE centuries later, particularly cute or funny. Get a fucking life, dude. Seriously. Grow up.

And you know, it's been a while since I listened to Nocturne of Recollection, so I can't remember enough of it to talk about it (i do remember the horrible imp character. God I hate this guy, why did they feel the need to make him so fucking punchable), and I'm not sure how canon it really is, but... Alucard has the excuse of having been asleep for the past centuries to explain his behavior.

Let's say he was around 18 years old when he put himself to sleep... he obviously did not grow and mature during the next centuries. Because he was not awake. I feel like people who hates on Mariacard because of the "age gap" completely overlook that very extremely important fact. So, even if he is technically 300+ years old, in his mind, he's still the young adult he was back in 1476. It's plain logic. And due to all the things he went through, and maybe being a little too sheltered, and not having had the time to mature enough yet (and everything that happens in the CD drama), he can say dumb things and make mistakes even if he has good intentions. He is not a perfect being who can do no wrong, and growing up as a dhampir in Dracula's Castle definitely had some consequences on his psyche. But he's, you know... human. More than he realizes.

N!Alucard doesn't have that excuse, however. Because it's clear from what Nocturne s2's trailer that the bastard did not sleep during these past 300 years. He literally said he has been helping Belmonts... well, more like that Belmonts have been helping him. So he lived, he stayed awake, he went through a LOT of stuff, probably met many people over the centuries, he had his own experiences... and he did not fucking change a single bit. They literally made his first line in Nocturne a mockery of the Belmont clan. I can't wait to see how much he stayed the same, actually.

I'm not sure about N!Alucard turning into a raging mysoginist though. He never made any comment about gender to anyone, from what I remember. He's a cunt to everyone equally. :)

[suffarustuffaru]

actually here’s an interesting question that’s been in my head for a hot minute now: what do you think a crusch if/other faction if would look like?

one of my favorite characters has always been crusch (probably my favorite aside from julius?), and interestingly it was the moment after the battle of the white whale that sold her for me- her convo with subaru was so genuine and full of respect and it since then has stood out amongst my favorites since it’s one of the first times subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized for his decisions ^_^

it also piqued my interest because there’s definitely implications/said somewhere that if subaru met crusch first he’d choose her, which makes me think about how that dynamic would play out, ya know? like we haven’t really gotten a huge expansion on crusch herself as we have with anastasia/pricilla and soon felt

also a crusch: if would toootally have different relationships defining wilhelm & felix too and basically everyone else lol

love ur analyses keep up da good work fam!!!!!!!

YO its cool seeing a crusch fan around :DD !! also thank you very much for liking my analysis posts pfft. also whew….. ive been writing my answer for this ask on and off for a while hah its super long oops wkdndnsn

but ok its super interesting to hear what drew you to crusch in the first place - crusch is a character im definitely interested in (i would LOVE to see her finally expanded upon!!) and shes such a respectable person for sure <3 and you definitely have a point that its one of the first time subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized!! though i didnt know that there were implications that if subaru met crusch first he'd choose her - i suppose that makes sense in that subaru really respects and likes crusch, and hes such a moldable character - for lack of a better term - bc its sooo easy for him to go in all sorts of different directions. a crusch if is an interesting possibility and im sure it absolutely wouldve happened in some form in some other universe :O !!

alright. as for a crusch if - yeah youre right, thered be such a different dynamic between subaru, the crusch camp, and everyone around them. :o im not Entirely sure how a crusch if would go but i certainly have ideas!!! though im not sure if im entirely an expert on them given i still havent finished the wilhelm-centric ex novels or read many crusch camp stories, but i did read ex 1 and 4 and enjoyed them quite a lot <3 along with you know, the main route. but i do really like the crusch camp and i hope theyre expanded upon eventually.

gonna put More thoughts under the cut (note that i have a Lot of opinions on the crusch camp hah):

ok first of all. i think that the crusch camp Does have a little wasted potential in canon and i think that crusch if is the perfect opportunity to explore Everything with crusch camp. just in the sense that you know, crusch hasnt been expanded upon just yet. not that felt has been expanded upon much either but at least we get a lot of details about her and her whole backstory with being a member of the royal family + her relationship with rom opens itself up to a lot of possibilities (theres a lot of History going around in the felt camp regarding felt, reinhard, carol and grimm, rom, etc being in the same camp given their family connections, demihuman war history, etc).

and not that we Dont get details about crusch of course, but i feel that even in her Own centric content, shes a little overshadowed by Everyone else sometimes. like i WANT to focus more on crusch as a person!! she gets cool moments yeah, but as much as i enjoyed reading ex1 im forever gonna be salty that her plot in ex1 was like about people having problems with her gender expression (ill go into this again later bc i know its connected to that plot point of crusch as a noble leader vs crusch as. a woman.) for more than half the runtime and everyone around her was discussing about what to do with her. and then in main route shes put through the RINGER between being cut down by gluttony, having her memories erased, and the dragon blood in arc 5 - and yet it STILL feels like the story doesnt focus enough on HER own pain. how is SHE feeling about this????? shes getting her shit rocked left and right and her sense of identity is being shaken along with it (see: her becoming more shy and withdrawn after her memories are gone) and yet i feel like we STILL dont hear about her Directly enough T^T

and also i Dont like that in the main route, the crusch camps connections to the royal family (with wilhelm being assigned to aid the royal family and bc of that heinkel was assigned to the white whale and so theresia went in heinkels stead + ferris and crusch's relationships with fourier) ARENT that explored. esp when like felt comes into play publically in arc 3 and the crusch camp BARELY REACTS. YOU THINK THEY WOULD REACT MORE TO FELT BEING HERE AND REINHARD SPONSORING FELT. its especially kind of painful after you read ex1 and its like ?? so why didnt they react more to felt being there??? related to + looking exactly like crusch and ferris's dead boyfriend, nonetheless, esp when their goal is to kill the dragon bc the royal family all died as far as they knew and NOW theres someone in the royal family that actually lived???? whos a rival for the throne now??? also i feel like the potential of like. ferris and wilhelms dynamic isnt explored either. like i have to wonder how they seem like theyre on decent/good terms in canon when ferris is friends with reinhard, wilhelms role in the demihuman war, and also wilhelm fucking up his family (with ferris being Aware of a lot of reinhards family situation, of course). and also of course wilhelm has Things going on with rom and carol and grimm bc demihuman war... ex novel things...

so like i think that inherently the crusch and felt camps ARE kind of sort of intertwined in this way bc of ALL these reasons. so i think if youre exploring crusch camp content all of this SHOULD be acknowledged. or maybe thats the felt camp fan in me talking but i DO GENUINELY THINK THE CRUSCH AND FELT CAMPS ARE CONNECTED A LOT ☝️☝️☝️

and so ok back to crusch if things!!!! i have no idea how the Exact plot goes but like i think this is all very dependent on how the crusch if divergence even starts. which Makes sense but yeah :o i mean i feel like i can only see it happening right from the get go in arc 1. and also this goes with what you said - if subaru met them first he'd probs choose to join them. but tbh i also kinda sort of like the possibility that maybe at least Some of arc 1 still happened in another font so subaru can be like "yeah lol this blond girl with red eyes was there along with this giant dude and t -" and crusch and ferris are thinking "OK IT COULD BE ANY RANDOM GIRL WITH BLOND HAIR AND RED EYES THATS NOT A COMPLETE GUARANTEE ITS SOMEONE FROM THE ROYAL FAMILY RIGHT??" and also wilhelms gonna vaguely go "hey whats this giants name again....." anyway yeah gotta plant those seeds for future plot things???? yes. also its a good segue into subaru learning more crusch camp related history yes. maybe that (subarus arc 1 info) is what allows him to join crusch camp too????? yeah im having trouble brainstorming ideas on how he even joins the camp but im guessing its a “subaru accidentally stumbles across stuff and crusch camp is like well i guess we just Kinda have to let you in……. like taking pity on a stray kitten…… maybe youll be useful… and also we do pity you a bit yeah you seem very lost” thing. 👍👍👍

(or alternatively you could have subaru branch off into crusch camp at arc 3 or smth given hes like actually physically at their place and away from emilia camp now but at the same time i doubt that could even happen given the position he was in arc 3???? like post-royal selection drama?? yeah i dont really see it happening imo HAH)

anyway. yeah so its like. inevitably subaru is gonna figure out you know the history behind all of the others in the crusch camp. like whether thats by doing his own research - especially bc you know wilhelm, crusch, ferris are all very well known by this point and have all kinds of rumors and info on them flying around - and also like. by getting closer with everyone. i think that if subaru joined crusch camp early, either he knows hes got rbd bc of arc 1 and manages to avoid it for a while, is my guess, given crusch camp doesnt get involved in life threatening things until. the white whale.

but until then i think subarus probably not gonna die. and i think hes probs gonna be in Fear of that happening again, maybe he blocks out a bit of arc 1 some more bc ahhaah i havent died or anything in so long so surely that never happened. maybe he tries to tell crusch once he gets closer with her or maybe he doesnt try at all bc hahaha did that even happen???? or maybe he asks her about her dp and if its Only about truths from that persons pov rather than Fact and shes like "yeah no its personal truths only, so even if someone is completely wrong about a fact but Believes it wholeheartedly its still gonna register as the truth" and hes like FUCK ok. smth like that?? yes. gotta give him inner turmoil even when hes not actively in danger. bc he Would have that yes. but either way i think he’d be curious and wanna know the specifics of her dp anyway!!!

yeah so anyway the white whale happens and subarus whole shit gets wrecked oops.... and my guess is that you know hes gonna loop a whole shit ton of times and its gonna be complete and utter hell for him. but also this is kind of a little bit dependent on how exactly the royal selection goes for him - but i HIGHLY doubt itd go the same as canon. i doubt he’d even make a scene, tbh—i mean assuming subaru joins crusch camp very early somehow, between crusch and ferris and wilhelm the three of them are gonna Really whip him into shape. metaphorically beat his s1 flaws out of him. bc like—i mean in canon subaru Did learn and grow yes, but he didnt Have to learn everything so harshly (ok but canon subaru Did have to get beat in the duel though or he wouldve died skcbsnd but i still think that subaru can still learn the same lessons more Gently whenever possible. hes a normal teenage boy trying his best!!). i think crusch camp would be good for him in this way, i mean crusch is a very duty-focused person and ferris and wilhelm are blunt people. ferris especially is not gonna take any bullshit wkdndnd (ESPECIALLY when subaru could humiliate crusch and the entire camp) and wilhelm sees himself in subaru and is gonna go “ah…….. you should. not act like that. let me train you.” and ALSO im a firm believer and enjoyer in the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship and i think that reinhard ESPECIALLY must have communicated with crusch camp about felt before arc 3, otherwise crusch camp wouldve had a stronger reaction to felts grand entrance into the royal selection. also if subarus getting closer to crusch camp then of course he figures out stuff like the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship.

again not entirely sure about specific plot beats but depending on how things go emilia camp may or may not get royally fucked (as an emilia camp enjoyer im very saddened by this 😔) but i DO feel like subaru would still be sympathetic towards them in a crusch if. and also theres Definitely gonna be at least one loop during arc 3 where the white whale Does erase crusch and wilhelm and ferris goes insane (like how they end up in pride if. yeah.) so subaru gets to see the consequences if they lose to the white whale. but i DO think that the final loop should still have the consequences of crusch being targeted by gluttony and losing her memories. its interesting to explore!!! especially if subaru himself still becomes a victim of gluttony in some way—maybe they both become victims of gluttony there?? or it happens to subaru later?? and i feel like arc 5 is Definitely another opportunity for some crazy looping. for sure.

also roswaal may want to try some shit bc Why is subaru in another camp this is not according to plan. so more opportunities to torture subaru 👍👍👍 and also crusch camp in canon keeps taking one L after another so you know. familiar territory in terms of how subaru and co are doing 😭😭😭😭

but anyway. i think a crusch camp and felt camp alliance (or Almost alliance?) is in order bc. well we know subaru he tries to fix things. hes nosy. he learns eventually All the crusch camp history and is like ok so why arent we allies with felt camp at least for rn??? like urging wilhelm to make it up with reinhard and such, etc etc. and crusch and felt are the candidates that are both Very deeply unsatisfied with the current system of lugunica and want to remake everything to be better!! and also like. how does ferris even feel about wilhelm. i lowkey want crusch if to have a plot beat where ferris-crusch-subaru metaphorically beat up wilhelm for being Terrible. actually scratch lowkey i want highkey. and i think crusch is just like yeah sorry i do respect you in a lot of ways wilhelm and youre a very key member in our camp and i appreciate it but also fighting against demihumans in the demihuman war + being awful to your family was definitely. 😬 ESPECIALLY since she grew up with ferris too okay. she and her dad literally took in ferris after being stuck in a basement for the first nine years of his life. and while ferris and reinhards family situations are Very Different, the common thread is generational trauma and Passed Down abilities/traits that also relate to the trauma so. i feel like ferris at Least has some secret strong feelings about wilhelm ok i dont care what tappei has to say on this (actually i do care but i will care less if tappei has a bad take on this bc ferris and reinhard are FRIENDS + WILHELM WAS WRONG FOR THE DEMIHUMAN WAR ok ferris was horribly abused also bc of fantasy racism).

and alright ok im gonna talk about some more crusch-ferris-subaru dynamics bc subaru and wilhelm are most likely gonna fall into their weird grandson-grandfather dynamic again. especially now that subarus in crusch camp.

so—gender expression. the way crusch-ferris-subaru dress and their relationships with this part of their identities. personally i hc all three of them as nonbinary but of course u can have different hcs/opinions than me :o either way though, gender expression is Very important to all three of them and its given focus in the plot multiple times so im gonna try to examine how its handled in canon a bit!! theres this one bit from the arc 5 wn that i think about a lot:

so you know, subaru has his internalized issues, toxic masculinity for one, so hes struggling with like. being a man but also like he genuinely enjoys crossdressing but also hes been judged for it in the past and he has?? complicated feelings on it. hes struggling with his identity and who he is in many many different ways and gender is one key aspect of it. and then he comes along and crusch and ferris BASICALLY challenge him and his internalized ideas on it—crusch being a woman who dresses more masculine and ferris being a man who dresses more feminine. they challenge even the fantasy world’s society too—crusch more so, bc shes a woman and in the public eye due to her family and shes expected to dress and behave the way a noblewoman should. more feminine. but she refuses which is a point of contention in ex1 of course…

ferris seems to get less scrutiny from the public on this (at least for This exact reason, we only see subaru iirc judge him for it on screen) but my guess is bc he 1. can easily pass as a girl and 2. he has other more Noticeable traits to the public (having the Blue title and being demihuman for example). but also theres another aspect to ferris and its that he also dresses femininely to represent “the feminine side crusch lacks” iirc…. which. to be quite frank thats. that feels a little odd to me but anyway im gonna choose to look into it a bit regardless bc i think it could potentially be interesting maybe?? but also the fourier-crusch duel in ex1 already felt off to me wkfndnd it was such a fun scene but like??? why are we policing what crusch wants to wear??? but. anyway.

so about ferris being “the feminine side crusch lacks”……. ferris and crusch's gender expression are completely opposite, ferris being feminine of course and crusch being masculine. ferris and crusch are very much like each others equal halves in canon - you dont find one without the other, theyre basically a pair (especially given they fit together into this perfect trio with fourier and now fouriers gone :(( ). ferris and crusch balance each other out in a lot of ways, especially given ferris's mischevious yet perceptive personality and crusch being more serious but a bit airheaded with emotional matters. and also both of them being more blunt honest people. so like their gender expression balances each other out bc theyre opposites. ferris wants to keep balancing out crusch, whos so focused on duty that her needs and her desires and emotions sometimes go by the wayside (id personally attribute at least a tiny bit of her airheadedness with emotions to this too - when you have so much responsibilities to attend to, your emotions often take a backseat. especially when you take into account people judging crusch for how she expresses herself....).

but also ferris does note that "because crusch-sama said this suits ferris, what i am, i am, and this most suits the radiance of ferris' soul. crusch-samas words, ferris will repay with everything that i am". im gonna interpret this as crusch recognizing that ferris truly likes to express his appearance in a feminine way and providing ferris with the means and support to do so, especially since crusch herself growing up also prefers to express herself as opposite to her biological sex and also bc crusch and her family took in ferris so they grew up together. which i think is very sweet <3

and also more regarding crusch, in canon she expresses herself more femininely after getting her memories wiped by gluttony........... i think there might (emphasis on Might) be vaguely a kind of "feminine=weak and masculine=strong thats why crusch goes back to being feminine after memories gone" undertone if you choose to see it that way but im Electing to ignore it. i think crusch's change in expression post-gluttony though like emphasizes how her identity gets shaken after her memories are erased. she was a confident person before and now shes more timid and withdrawn bc she isnt sure of herself or her abilities anymore :(( which is definitely smth that should be explored in Any crusch camp centric content, i think.

anyway. yeah also i def think the ferris-crusch-subaru gender things should be explored. its already briefly touched on in canon with stuff like that arc 5 wn snippet i shared, but i do think subaru being friends with ferris and crusch will help him with confidence regarding how he likes to express himself as well. which i think would be very sweet to explore <3 (sorry this briefly derailed into a ferris-crusch-subaru gender expression analysis but this part of their characters is important i feel aljdlfjsldfj and its SUCH good parallel between them)

as for general dynamics stuff between the three of them. i think ferris is on the fence about subaru at first and goes from "hes an idiot..." to "hes an idiot <3" i have no specific thoughts on this at the moment thats just the vibe thats probably happening. maybe a bit of the same with crusch but yes im sure crusch and ferris of course grow to respect subaru, and im sure they notice pretty quick that subaru wears his emotions on his sleeve. hes an honest person in almost all things, or at least he tries to be, unless hes being held at gunpoint to keep things secret bc rbd lajdlfjl. and we Know subaru is a very respectable person whos Really good at heart, he just had all these hurdles to get through. and also - subaru is a tiny bit similar to fourier in terms of like Loud, Passionate, Determined, kind of an idiot in a few ways but a Lovable one, that sort of thing. of course ferris and crusch are VERY MUCH not going to be replacing fourier. absolutely not they would never in a million years. but fourier like Really fit in with ferris and crusch bc of the three of them having different personality traits, so i think subaru would fit well with ferris and crusch for similar reasons. if that makes sense. the energies just match up. ferris and subaru particularly bring a lot of fun and lightheartedness and ease weight on crusch’s shoulders, crusch supports them both, and all three of them reel each other in in different ways <3

ok also regarding any romance............ personally i dont see the appeal of crusch x subaru but thats just me lajsdlfjls and also my heart got stolen by fourier x ferris x crusch oops. plus i do enjoy the ferris and subaru + subaru and crusch friendship possibilities. but if anyones reading this and is a fan of crusch x subaru feel free to send me propaganda for it bc im very curious as to what makes you really like the ship <3

yeah so anyway. this has been my extremely long explanation as to how crusch if could maybe go and also all sorts of stuff id love to see explored when it comes to crusch if or crusch camp centered content in general <3 its hard to tell how a crusch if would go further down the line bc you know, the more that changes from main route the more things go Different, but i think its fascinating to think about. hope this kind of answered your question op? :O :D !!

ok but as for other camps. i have absolutely no clue how itd go but ana camp would Definitely have to involve subaru trying to invent things that carry on from earth and such and felt camp Absolutely involves more trying to solve more astrea drama. no specific thoughts on this yet (ALSO I STILL HAVENT CAUGHT UP ON ANA CAMP SIDE STORIES... ONE DAY. I SWEAR.) but you know, lots of interesting possibilities here!! :O

[powderseas]

side order is here!!! its real!!! yippee

what do you think of it so far?

ok so im just gonna spit out all my side order thoughts so far

SPOILERS FOR SIDE ORDER AHEAD!!!!!!

EDIT: I ACTUALLY FINISHED THE GAME WOOO (just one run tho lol) im gonna write my thoughts under the previous stuff

OK SO. i think im a little..? dissapointed..? abt sider order?? like im kinda conflicted abt the lore, also i suck BALLS at the game

the thing is i have done 5 runs so far AND COULDNT GET A SINGLE WIN. the most i can do is up to floor 20.... im literally so bad at this game I ONCE DIED 2 TIMES IN AN EASY LEVEL. im newgen guys.

maybe im not fit for rougelike games but like... idk. i feel like me and the fandom as a whole expected so much more from side order. i feel like if the game is gonna make you replay the same stuff over and over again it should atleast have a SOUL CRUSHING LITERARY MASTERPIECE TYPE OF LORE like OE and Alterna

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW DIRTY THEY DID FOUR???? literally called them an irrelavent loser and then sweeped them aside... THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A PALETTE ICON???? theyre not even a secret boss smh.... agent 4 had so much potential I WILL NEVER FORGIVE NINTENDO FOR THIS. and like sure the parallel canon level kind of includes four but that thing is literally an npc??? like imagine what they couldve done with the story if they had included four in it:

when four is left out from the squidbeak splatoon they try to prove themselves by siding with marina with her project. it makes perfect sense. marina and four are both scared of being seperated by their loved ones. but four gets consumed by their anger and jealousy and goes full order mode LIKE DO YOU GUYS SEE MY VISION!!!! i will be forever mad that we didnt get this.

also why is murch out of all the chracters have a pallete??? why didnt they put in captain 3 or something????? sheldon i kinda understand since hes also kinda a part of the squidbeak splatoon BUT MURCH??? get the fuck out!!!

negative stuff aside tho. i love pearl and marina so much. THIS IS THE PEARLINA GAME GUYS!!!!! pearl literally mentions that marina and her sleep in the SAME BED???? marina is so autistic. my little autism creature. SHE MAKES DINO ARMS IN THE ENDING SCENE AUGHHHHHGHHH MY HEARTTT i love marina so much AND PEARL. SUCH A SILLY GOOBER. acht is so precious too... BUT I CNAT BELIEVE THAT THEY MADE THEM WHITE*??? ACHT IS NOT WHITE NINTENDO. anyways i love eight and her little found family full of lesbians. they are all lesbians your honor. we are raising lesbians in this house.

so yeah. i hope i can finish the run atleast ONCE. but like. idk i havent finished the game but side order jsut makes me feel. sad... and lonely...?? unlike octo expension where you could see more and more people using the metros and the chatrooms between marina and pearl are just AUUGGHHH OE IS A GAME. ABOUT CONNECTIONS OK. it makes me feel warm and happy and even though eight became traumatized i like to think that she healed and in the process met so many important people in her life.

in side order i dont see anything in eight*??? is she traumatized??? is she vibing??? is she happy to help??? I LITERALLY CANT TELL. side order makes me feel so cold and empty like do you guys understand what i mean. and its probably becasue it doesnt even take place in the real world. and the thing is. i understand that side order is supposed to be everything that OE couldnt be. i understand that. both games have their own quirks BUT. i just cant seem to make myself love it unlike any other story mode in splatoon...... im really trying to be not biased here but yeah. these are my opinions for side order

AFTER GAME THOUGHTS

HELLO. so yes i somehow managed to win the game. and honestly. the final boss was pretty fun and everyone was so cute at the end omg... but i still think that side order is a bit underdevloped.... i dont even know if ill try to %100 is cuz playing it makes me SO STRESSFUL im glad i get to finish a run BUT i will definetly not be touching side order atleast for a while.... but despite i had plenty of stuff i didnt like in side order the ending managed to make me forget all that haha

[leafmint-does-a-meow]

We’re mutuals now which means I’m allowed to be autistic on main <3 You are ABSOLUTELY right in your interpretation of Jekyll, in my opinion. He is trying So Hard to be neurotypical in a world where there isn’t even a word for that, there’s just ‘normal’ and ‘male hysteria’, and I see myself in this poor sad man.

Also, your depiction of the withholding of food to punish a naughty child? And the way Jekyll knows that, as an adult, he puts too much stock in food and drink? The fact that he has enough education to recognize a trauma response but can’t help the fact he’s doing it? The peak of cinema.

Do you think Jekyll ever did, or considered self harm? I have my own thoughts on the matter, but I’d love to hear what you think!

nah man, you always LEAD with being autistic on main! That's how you find all the other people who are deranged absolutely normal about the same stuff you are!

ugh, yeah, I was diagnosed at 17 so I had already gone through school and puberty wondering What Was Wrong With Me. The world isn't built for ND people, even today. It was even worse in the 19th century...

So fun fact! Well...not really fun, but that was a totally accepted thing that the upper class did with their kids. They believed that too much rich food would create immorality in their children when they reached adulthood and it was very common for food to be withheld as punishment. I bought historian Ruth Goodman's book How To Be A Victorian for fic research (Ruth my beloved) and there was a whole chapter that went into depth about food and nutrition.

'While hunger was at its cruellest among the poor, it sent its tendrils winding around the lives of the more wealthy too... Requests for more food were met with pious lectures about carnal desires and pampering to greed... The self-control and self-denial induced by hunger were thought to teach enduring habits of self-sacrifice and to aid in fashioning a more moral individual.'

I really recommend her book and documentaries if you want to learn more about the 19th century :)

Jekyll probably knows something isn't right, but with the lack of education or even acceptance of the mere existence of mental illness and trauma, he's probably been told his whole life to 'just get on with it', essentially. Poor bub.

Oof, yeah, I mean he definitely has had some dark days. Again, with the lack of knowledge in regards to mental health, he would be inclined to just force himself through it and on to the other side.

In my fic I wrote: 'There were days where his thoughts seemed to eat him alive, where the relentless pounding of his own heart would cause chest pains and exhaustion. It was on these days that dark thoughts would begin to surface, and he would throw himself into his work to evade them.'

The work proves a valuable distraction, until of course he begins to turn it into a process of finding a 'cure' for himself. Just as well he got away to the country when he did, I suppose.

Thanks for the ask! <3

[muppetears-stuff]

Warren hate has always been ableist in the very beginning. He gets too much shit for not understanding Max's body language. He gets a lot of hate 'for not taking a hint' or understanding social cues. Hell in the very beginning of the fandom like in 2015 i think i remember there were angry pricefielders calling Warren the literal r slur because he's 'so stupid'. Their words not mine. l I've seen people talk about how they're convinced he's a s*ciopath or a n*rcissist or a ps*chopath which I find ableist and uncomfortable. I think the biggest red flag from the fandom is how there's a lot of shit talk about Warren is an 'obsessive freak/stalker' in their eyes to talking in general about how 'obsessiveness' and 'obsessions' are red flags and are signs of 'evil' apparently and not symptoms of mental illness or neurodivergency apparently. I really relate to Warren and I also suffer from obsessive and actual intrusive thoughts, so i find this fandom to be extremely cruel and alienating toward people with stigmatizing illnesses which I find explains the Chloe demonization bc she is so BPD coded. I don't think Warren is autistic coded like Max but I do think he's ADHD / OCD coded in a way I can't explain. Sorry to drop this really long rant in your inbox, but you're not wrong about the Warren demonization and I just wanted to say something about it. Becauze the demonization of all these characters go back to ableism and the Life Is Strange fandom is the most ableist fandom I've ever been in at all and that really speaks volume about how atrocious it is.

THIS ^^^ YES. FUCKING YES, ABSOLUTELY.

I find the Warren hate unwarranted (hehe) and SUPER FUCKING ABLEIST. you make amazing points, thank you for putting my thoughts into words anon🙏🙏

He very much struggles with social interactions, very evident by the way he only talks teachers or people that are into the same stuff as him, he can become very chatty, sometimes too much, when it comes to things he likes which comes off as "annoying" and "obsessive" when he just wants friends.

Mr. Well's talks about it in his student file, btw.

I share. Alot of the same traits as Warren, with myself also having ADHD and liking science and talking excessively to the point where I find MYSELF annoying.

It's so upsetting too that the developers leaned INTO the stalker/obsessive Warren allegations that I can't even fucking talk about him or mentioning that I like him on certain platforms without the fear of people saying I "support stalking" which I don't. I can't defend him and say that he wasn't stalking without someone going, "but it's canon, the developers confirmed it!!" Yeah well, Mark and Nathan have done some more fucked up shit and I still see people defend them. (I love Nathan too for his complexity and ability to become better. He just needed help, but it doesn't excuse anything he did.)

Warren is the best character. He had so much potential to be an amazing recurring character, but he was their simply for plot convenience or to make the player not suspicious that Mark could be behind everything because Warren was "creepy"

I'm probably gonna have people saying I'm being a baby over this and that he's a fictional character and stuff, you can totally have your own opinion on Warren Graham, I'm not telling you you can't, just please stop calling people who like him "stalkers" or say they support stalking and creepy behavior, when that isn't true. The amount of hate towards anyone that isn't Max or Chloe, and then the immediate hate on YOU for not liking them or liking/defending another character makes me sick, as well as the flat out abelism. The reason why I left the fandom in the first place before picking it back up because of Warren<3

Thank you again, Anon. For sending me such a lovely ask(?) And letting me rant about him because he's my favorite, and I agree with you so much, you're so right<3

[no-shxme]

Hi I saw you have TalEz on your won'ts for your commissions. Just curious can you explain why?

hi anon yEAH i can explain but like, to preface this, if you happen to like talez you're totally valid and dont feel like you have to dislike it or anything bc im gonna be a lil hater. people like what they like (and dislike what they dislike) and thats totally okay. this is just my own personal opinion. i wish i liked talez more bc its probably the most popular talon ship and im often starving, but i just dont and there's a couple reasons why.

i dont like the way its usually portrayed

im not the biggest ezreal fan.

imo there's better fits for both of them.

ugh this is going to be long so ill put it under the cut.

tbf, you dont NEED some complex reason to dislike a ship/character. like reason 2 is already enough for me to open and shut smth, but i do have complex thoughts about talez. and i am totally going to do a little hating below.

i think talez is so fucking anime that it lacks so much complexity. i dont really like anime. (i know thats a broad, loaded statement i just hate 99% of the tropes that pop up. not saying ive never enjoyed a shitty/tropy anime, but just--no) i think talez is broadly boiled down and portrayed by most fan-creators as 'edgy dark cloud + ball of sunshine' and i think thats so boring and lame for both of them. imo it reduces them to a really basic ship trope and there's nothing inherently WRONG with it, i just think its so boring. i look at popular fanworks and personally find it super reductive for both of them. it feels like talez happened bc at it's inception league needed an anime character ship. to be fair, you can reduce ANY ship to smth basic. talsett is just 'tall x short' but in comparison i think talsett has so much more complexity in theming. same with like, rhaayn for example. to me there's a lot more depth. i think the most depth you can get out of talez is related to ez's loss of family and talon's too + themes of belonging, but god. its not good enough.

talez is also usually portrayed romantically and i'm turbo aromantic and mostly romance repulsed and also hc talon as the same, so this already cuts out so much talez fanwork for me. :')

ALSO while we're at it, talon is such a bottom to me. even when he tops. and i hate him being portrayed as this like, idk, grim edgy SUPER TALL??? domineering top when he's like, as tall as katarina in the comic and was prolly malnourished bc he lived on the streets for years. tbh i would automatically like talez more if they were BOTH shortasses and switches as god intended. but noooo. i think if i literally just saw/read more ez topping talon then i'd be automatically more on board. but id also need an aromantic angle so its literally never happening.

i think when ezreal gets paired with talon both of their personalities get so fucked. his ass is not cuddling. ezreal is not some weak damsel or master of seduction either. i think a problem that not just talez creators but like, creators in general suffer from is erasing bad traits that characters have, unless they're 'cute.' talon has some cute bad traits, but he also has some seriously bad traits that loving or being loved wont fix. and ezreal is just reduced SO bad. so talez feels inherently ooc to me. fandom has done a number on him. there's nothin left in the pot. i think being with talon (in canon) is such an uphill battle and most of the time i dont see ezreal equipped to handle it in comparison to other people.

i dont really like ezreal. i think i've already made that clear before. he's fun to play and i like him on a surface level and ive got friends that really like him and thats totally fine but idk he's just not my blorbo. the only time i really like him is when he's with aphelios, where somehow my dislike of both characters cancel out. maybe i dont have room for him because i like talon too much, who knows. either way, often times when talez fanworks are created the focus is actually just on ezreal, and that annoys me as an ezreal disliker. (fanwork creators can create whatever the fuck they want ofc, godspeed do what makes you happy)

and my third point: there's better fits for both of them. i like ezphel and ezkayn more than talez. i think in canon there's a good chance talon might genuinely kill him. or ezreal might really overwhelm him and drive him away with his outward facing personality. and frankly there's a good chance ezreal also goes away bc talon is bad news and also doesn't have the charisma to keep him there. and ofc for talon i think talsett is the ultimate fit, or even talshan is right there.

THAT BEING SAID. i don't mind talez AS much if there's a third, though we still run into some of the same issues as above. like ive written talezsett before. thats nice! talezlux is okay too even if,, completely unfeasible... (i have strong opinions im sorry. as a crack ship its fun i think)

blah blah. i think i could like talez but i would have to write it myself. thats what it boils down to. there are ideas/concepts i like about them. ive juggled the idea of putting a talez fic on my to do list but i just dont think i'll write it in any way that actual talez fans would like, which means there's no point in writing it at all. i've plotted several, long and short, but i think everyone would hate it. talez isn't a strict 'won't write.' iirc it specifically says like: 'unless the idea goes hard' but no ones tried me pfppf, and im fine with it i guess.

there's more i can say but like, i dont want this to be too long.

the important thing to remember is that if you like talez... GOOD. im happy for you!! keep loving it, godspeed. these are just my personal reasons it doesnt click with me.

[farasen]

//Vent I guess, long post

I really didn’t want to bring that up here, but I’m on my limit and I feel like it’s important to mention.

One thing that I absolutely despise is adult antis that go after proship children, putting their safety at risk by doxing and exposing them online. If you claim to care sooo much about them, why are you endangering them? Why are you stalking, sexually harassing and gaining their trust to abuse it? Oh I know the answer – because you are the predator!

And the saddest thing is that no one sees any problems with that. Those people so used to dehumanize proships, even those who are children, they think it’s right to put them in danger over a fucking fiction. They’re so blind and stupid to see the evil in their own actions. You treat real people like fictional characters and you think that you have moral ground after that.

Funny enough, no fucker would ever give me valuable sources that coping with dark fiction is an unhealthy. But I can give dozens that say otherwise. You know, your personal disgust is not a scientific fact. You’re not qualified to say something is unhealthy, your opinion doesn’t count. I’m disgusted by a lot of things, doesn’t mean I’m right about them.

Also, tell me about unhealthy coping mechanisms, a person that encourages mentally ill teens to do self-harm or gain ED only not to cope with dark fiction.  

And I often hear antis say ‘’proship is full of groomer. And yeah, there are horrible people in our community, but guess what? So it is in any other spaces! Including yours, antis, Kyle Carrozza is an example. And yours’ probably has even more of them. While most proshippers tell minors to stay away from adult spaces, antis often would go after NSFW artists and writers and expose them to the audience with many-many minors. They have more tools to control kids, by spreading misinformation about the term ‘’proship’’ and making them believe they’re safe adults. Be for real, adult antis are a ticking time bomb.   

Most of those who engage with hunting down proshippers are children or very young adults, and I hope one day they’ll realize they were just bullies. But grown ass antis… scumbags. I despise you and I’m very glad if you despise me as well.

If you’re an anti who does this – block me. I don’t wanna see you on my account. I’m sure you don’t wanna see me either, let’s disperse peacefully.

[polycharismas]

my monthly alien stage rewatch findings. or rambles. Yeah rambles. i didnt say anything about Black Sorrow or Cure because those are like the most analyzed videos of all time and im tired Sigh

My Clematis: It still amazes me how much of an effect this one still has on me after all the time that has passed and after all the things that have happened in Alien Stage by now. It truly represents every single thing that makes Alien Stage such a special story. I think watching it again after all that went on in the story just elevates it so much more. This time around what did it for me was the monologue because you can easily apply it to every other character in this and it just Fits so well. Because truly what else do these children have aside from one another? Who else are they supposed to believe in? Where else are they supposed to find a God that can keep them moving forward in a world as cruel as this? All of them have someone, the nature of their admiration and the way they express it varies so much between all of them, but it still follows the same principle after all. The whole mv just put it in such a beautiful way it honestly holds up as its own story but knowing there was way more to these two girls and this whole world makes it so much better. I love yuri

ALIEN STAGE: UUugggGGahsgagahHahwnajwjdj Sorry. Okay. This is like the actual real trailer for this thang and its also so perfect. It foreshadows everyone's role surprisingly well. I think the fact Sua is the one singing also makes it better somehow because it just makes sense. She's the one that indirectly triggered a lot of what happens in Alien Stage in the first place she's the most important for our protagonist she's related with the rest of the cast in many different ways and to this day we still know next to nothing about her and yet she's the one singing the song that can be considered a true introduction to this whole world and that's Fascinating to me. I just feel nostalgic about this one also even if it really hasn't been that long since it was released. General banger and also it looks pretty as hell it makes me ill. Waugh

Unknown (Till the end...): OKAY I REALIZED THIS WAS PROBABLY THE ONE WHERE MY OPINIONS WOULD CHANGE THE MOST i have recently taken quite a liking to thinking about Till since a Twitter thread changed my whole perception about him and Oh Boy Did It All Change. It kind of really fucks me up. Till's relationship with Mizi i mean. It's stated he's one of the most brilliant in Anakt Garden. Not only is he skilled at both singing and playing an instrument he's also a pretty damn good composer. It's really something when you realize Mizi was the one who gave him both the determination and the inspiration to achieve all of this. The song he performed was the fastest selling album and he made it to Top 2 despite the fact the aliens are just not fond of him at all to put lightly. And he only achieved all of this because Mizi decided to show him a kindness she has always been familiar with but also a kindness he never experienced once in his life. Till has suffered a lot. Struggling to find an alien that would actually want to adopt him, being experimented on by the aliens and probably way Wayyyyy more, but it only took a single person to show him kindness for him to be able to keep on living. The nature of his feelings can be easily interpreted as romantic but it honestly resembles more that of a painter and his muse to me. So how do you think he felt when he saw his muse experience for the very first time the unkind world they lived in? He couldn't even glance at her during his performance because seeing his idol in such a state was painful. That still didn't stop him from wanting to speak his heart out through a song specifically made for her to hear. I sure hope nothing bad happens to this determined and energetic little guy!

Ruler of My Heart: Hi. This time around i thought really hard about how naturally Luka could hit all of Mizi's weak points through his performance. It's like a skill he learned throughout the years which is a really disturbing idea for me because we all know the state of his mind but what else could this be than giving the aliens exactly what they want from hosting this competition through all these years? Luka's parallels with Hyuna in the way they went about their roles in this world always fascinated me greatly because on one hand we have a total rebel who didn't hesitate to escape and do what She thinks is correct and on the other we have the Perfect contestant for Alien Stage. A title that sounds prestigious but can be also terrifying if we look at it from a human perspective. Someone so capable of twisting people's minds for the sake of entertainment and someone just detached enough to not hesitate at the truly awful implications of being a part of this competition and still participate with everything he's got. We don't know what exactly is the reason he did all of this and we also don't know much about. Anything that goes through his mind. So what the hell am i even talking about honestly. I want him so badly its painful i can fix him❤️

TOP 3: guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys Guys. Here it is. Famously known video i never shut the fuck up about. I think dropping this not before Alien Stage started but in the middle of it was genius because now we know exactly what the nature of this world truly is. I will never shut the fuck up about how absolutely amazing this video specifically is. The shift between the perspective of Alien Stage the aliens have to the perspective the humans themselves have is so fucking well done it makes me insane everytime. What could Alien Stage be to beings incapable of feelings? Just the perfect source of entertainment and money they could ask for. Its nothing more than that. But to the humans themselves its absolutely everything. Where they could win everything or lose it all. In this world humans have no other option than to trust their abilities to have even the slightest chance of being given the right to live freely. Where the cost of losing is your life. But also where the cost of winning is your own humanity. This video represents all of that in such a perfect way and it makes me ill in the head. GHhagzgHagGagagagav im normal

MIZISUA: Having a dedicated video for the most important relationship in the whole series is actually such a brain move. You can always feel the love these two have for each other every time they are together but the way you can feel it here just hits. Not a single word is spoken and yet you can feel everything they felt for each other in just that peaceful moment they shared when they were being sent to Anakt Garden. And the way you can also feel the pain Sua's absence has on Mizi in the span of so little time. You can feel absolutely everything with just that final scene alone. You can also see how opposite they were to each other and yet how well they fit together despite that. Seeing Sua like this makes me feel ill because i know already how much Mizi's everything changed her completely. To be loved is to be changed indeed. This video says everything you need to know about their feelings for each other and im DIGGING IT man. I miss them so much it hurts

All-in: HEH. HEY. HI HYUNA. This is like the perfect way to introduce her. We already know Hyuna somehow managed to break into the competition itself to save Mizi and this video just enhances more the way we see her by showing us how strong she is both as leader of the resistance and as a person. Hyuna is by far the most mature of the cast and this video shows it in such a perfect way. Someone like her is exactly what Mizi needed to finally break away from the pain Alien Stage caused her and to search for a path of her own in the freedom she now has. I love how easy going and fun the whole song feels because its no longer a performance for the aliens its a performance for the humans. Its no longer a song trapped beneath all that surrounds Alien Stage. Its a song made for the people that are free from the aliens that's meant to inspire them to keep moving forward and to not stop fighting for the future where the humans hold freedom. All of this also makes the fact that Luka is such a huge trigger for her elevate both of their characters greatly and also just make the whole conflict between them more interesting. What exactly was it that made Hyuna despise this man to the point thinking about him makes her sick? What exactly goes through Luka's mind when it comes to Hyuna specifically? They make me insane in the head i think the day we get more Hyuluka lore is the day i officially pass away forever. Godbless