#also why did i write an essay for every answer why am i like this lmao

[fursasaida]

Hi! Just wanted to ask. How can I give my students assignments that are chat-gpt proof? Or that they won't just copy the answer without at least doing some editing?

Hi! So, I don't think anything is ChatGPT-proof. You fundamentally cannot stop people from using it to take a shortcut. You can't even stop them from copying the answer without editing it. However, I think you can work with this reality. So, you can do three things:

Don't be a cop about it.

If you make your objective "stop the children from using the thing to cheat," you are focusing on the wrong thing. You will be constantly scrutinizing every submission with suspicion, you will be accusing people of cheating--and some of them will not have cheated, and they will remember this forever--and you will be aiming at enforcement (which is trying to hold back the sea) instead of on inviting and supporting learning whenever and wherever possible. (I'll come back to this under item 2.)

Regarding why enforcement is holding back the sea: It is fundamentally rational for them to do this. We, who "love learning" (i.e. are good at what our academic system sees as learning, for various reasons have built our lives around that, happen to enjoy these activities), see everything they might cheat themselves of by doing it, because we know what we got out of doing this type of work. Many students, however--especially at the kind of school I teach at--are there to get the piece of paper that might, if they're lucky, allow them access to a relatively livable and stable income. The things that are wrong with this fact are structural and nothing to do with students' failings as people, or (tfuh) laziness, or whatever. We cannot make this not true (we can certainly try to push against it in certain ways, but that only goes so far). More pragmatically, chatgpt and similar are going to keep getting better, and detecting them is going to get harder, and your relationships with your students will be further and further damaged as you are forced to hound them more, suspect them more, falsely accuse more people, while also looking like an idiot because plenty of them will get away with it. A productive classroom requires trust. The trust goes both ways. Being a cop about this will destroy it in both directions.

So the first thing you have to do is really, truly accept that some of them are going to use it and you are not always going to know when they do. And when I say accept this, I mean you actually need to be ok with it. I find it helps to remember that the fact that a bot can produce writing to a standard that makes teachers worry means we have been teaching people to be shitty writers. I don't know that so much is lost if we devalue the 5-paragraph SAT essay and its brethren.

So the reason my policy is to say it's ok to use chatgpt or similar as long as you tell me so and give me some thinking about what you got from using it is that a) I am dropping the charade that we don't all know what's going on and thereby making it (pedagogical term) chill; b) I am modeling/suggesting that if you use it, it's a good idea to be critical about what it tells you (which I desperately want everyone to know in general, not just my students in a classroom); c) I am providing an invitation to learn from using chatgpt, rather than avoid learning by using it. Plenty of them won't take me up on that. That's fine (see item 3 below).

So ok, we have at least established the goal of coming at it from acceptance. Then what do you do at that point?

Think about what is unique to your class and your students and build assignments around that.

Assignments, of course, don't have to be simply "what did Author mean by Term" or "list the significant thingies." A prof I used to TA under gave students the option of interviewing a family member or friend about their experiences with public housing in the week we taught public housing. Someone I know who teaches a college biology class has an illustration-based assignment to draw in the artsier students who are in her class against their will. I used to have an extra-credit question that asked them to pick anything in the city that they thought might be some kind of clue about the past in that place, do some research about it, and tell me what they found out and how. (And that's how I learned how Canal St. got its name! Learning something you didn't know from a student's work is one of the greatest feelings there is.) One prompt I intend to use in this class will be something to the effect of, "Do you own anything--a t-shirt, a mug, a phone case--that has the outline of your city, state, or country on it? Why? How did you get it, and what does having this item with this symbol on it mean to you? Whether you personally have one or not, why do you think so many people own items like this?" (This is for political geography week, if anyone's wondering.)

These are all things that target students' personal interests and capabilities, the environments they live in, and their relationships within their communities. Chatgpt can fake that stuff, but not very well. My advisor intends to use prompts that refer directly to things he said in class or conversations that were had in class, rather than to a given reading, in hopes that that will also make it harder for chatgpt to fake well because it won't have the context. The more your class is designed around the specific institution you teach at and student body you serve, the easier that is to do. (Obviously, how possible that is is going to vary based on what you're teaching. When I taught Urban Studies using the city we all lived in as the example all through the semester, it was so easy to make everything very tailored to the students I had in that class that semester. That's not the same--or it doesn't work the same way--if you're teaching Shakespeare. But I know someone who performs monologues from the plays in class and has his students direct him and give him notes as a way of drawing them into the speech and its niceties of meaning. Chatgpt is never going to know what stage directions were given in that room. There are possibilities.) This is all, I guess, a long way of saying that you'll have a better time constructing assignments chatgpt will be bad at if you view your class as a particular situation, occurring only once (these people, this year), which is a situation that has the purpose of encouraging thought--rather than as an information-transfer mechanism. Of course information transfer happens, but that is not what I and my students are doing together here.

Now, they absolutely can plug this type of prompt into chatgpt. I've tried it myself. I asked it to give me a personal essay about the political geography prompt and a critical personal essay about the same thing. (I recommend doing this with your own prospective assignments! See what they'd get and whether it's something you'd grade highly. If it is, then change either the goal of the assignment or at least the prompt.) Both of them were decent if you are grading the miserable 5-paragraph essay. Both of them were garbage if you are looking for evidence of a person turning their attention for the first time to something they have taken for granted all their lives. Chatgpt has neither personality nor experiences, so it makes incredibly vague, general statements in the first person that are dull as dishwater and simply do not engage with what the prompt is really asking for. I already graded on "tell me what you think of this/how this relates to your life" in addition to "did you understand the reading," because what I care about is whether they're thinking. So students absolutely can and will plug that prompt into chatgpt and simply c/p the output. They just won't get high marks for it.

If they're fine with not getting high marks, then okay. For a lot of them this is an elective they're taking essentially at random to get that piece of paper; I'm not gonna knock the hustle, and (see item 1) I couldn't stop them if I wanted to. What I can do is try to make class time engaging, build relationships with them that make them feel good about telling me their thoughts, and present them with a variety of assignments that create opportunities for different strengths, points of interest, and ways into the material, in hopes of hooking as many different people in as many different ways as I can.

This brings me back to what I said about inviting learning. Because I have never yet in my life taught a course that was for people majoring in the subject, I long ago accepted that I cannot get everyone to engage with every concept, subject, or idea (or even most of them). All I can do is invite them to get interested in the thing at hand in every class, in every assignment, in every choice of reading, in every question I ask them. How frequently each person accepts these invitations (and which ones) is going to vary hugely. But I also accept that people often need to be invited more than once, and even if they don't want to go through the door I'm holding open for them right now, the fact that they were invited this time might make it more likely for them to go through it the next time it comes up, or the time after that. I'll never know what will come of all of these invitations, and that's great, actually. I don't want to make them care about everything I care about, or know everything I know. All I want is to offer them new ways to be curious.

Therefore: if they use chatgpt to refuse an invitation this week, fine. That would probably have happened anyway in a lot of cases even without chatgpt. But, just as before, I can snag some of those people's attention on one part of this module in class tomorrow. Some of them I'll get next time with a different type of assignment. Some of them I'll hook for a moment with a joke. I don't take the times that doesn't happen as failures. But the times that it does are all wins that are not diminished by the times it doesn't.

Actually try to think of ways to use chatgpt to promote learning.

I DREAM of the day I'm teaching something where it makes sense to have students edit an AI-written text. Editing is an incredible way to get better at writing. I could generate one in class and we could do it all together. I could give them a prompt, ask them to feed it into chatgpt, and ask them to turn in both what they got and some notes on how they think it could be better. I could give them a pretty traditional "In Text, Author says Thing. What did Author mean by that?" prompt, have them get an answer from chatgpt, and then ask them to fact-check it. Etc. All of these get them thinking about written communication and, incidentally, demonstrate the tool's limitations.

I'm sure there are and will be tons of much more creative ideas for how to incorporate chatgpt rather than fight it. (Once upon a time, the idea of letting students use calculators in math class was also scandalous to many teachers.) I have some geography-specific ideas for how to use image generation as well. When it comes specifically to teaching, I think it's a waste of time for us to be handwringing instead of applying ourselves to this question. I am well aware of the political and ethical problems with chatgpt, and that's something to discuss with, probably, more advanced students in a seminar setting. But we won't (per item 1) get very far simply insisting that Thing Bad and Thing Stupid. So how do we use it to invite learning? That's the question I'm interested in.

Finally, because tangential to your question: I think there's nothing wrong with bringing back more in-class writing and even oral exams (along with take-home assignments that appeal to strengths and interests other than expository writing as mentioned above). These assessments play to different strengths than written take-homes. For some students, that means they'll be harder or scarier; by the same token, for other students they'll be easier and more confidence-building. (Plus, "being able to think on your feet" is also a very good ~real-world skill~ to teach.) In the spirit of trying to offer as many ways in as possible, I think that kind of diversification in assignments is a perfectly good idea.

[dragonbarbie]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏 𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 - modern!aemond targaryn x reader

rating: 18+, minors dni

summary: academic rivals, where revision has the same rules as strip poker

word count: 3.8k

tags: mature content, smut, modern!au, reader being petty and competitive, aemond also being petty and competitive, guest appearance by aegon

note: this is like… my first attempt at writing smut so ….*clown emoji* anyway hope you like it

y/n was used to being number 1. all throughout high school, be it history or physics – she had the highest grade in every class and was managing to do so without much effort, really. she hadn’t expected that to change when she landed her dream university, dragonstone. but when she arrived she had the rude shock of getting acquainted with aemond targaryen. first day of their valyrian history class, she had expected to impress her professor with the extensive knowledge on the subject that had been one of her favourites in high school, but when she found herself being beaten to the punch by the blonde bastard, she took an instant dislike to him.

pettily enough, as everyone was leaving the class, she made a show of saying “suck-up” in a not so quiet whisper as she passed him by. “excuse me?” his condescending, posh tone made her eyes roll. “all i did was answer his questions. i wasn’t the one gushing about the books he had written.” he sharply pointed out. “whatever.” she tried to brush off the retort. “if you’re so jealous, maybe actually read before class next time, instead of whining.” he coolly stated as he stalked off, leaving her behind as she gritted her teeth and glared at his striding figure.

from that point onwards, every class that she shared with him, she made a deliberate effort to work extra hard for. she went beyond just the recommended readings, she would write extra few hundred words for every essay, and for every test she would spend hours in preparation. still, frustratingly, all of this effort only made her good competition for him and not the outright winner. it seemed that aemond targaryen was in fact used to going beyond just the bare minimum, she didn’t ever see him take a break. if he wasn’t at the library, she found him sweating it out on the track field. his perfection was downright annoying.

what her friend baela found annoying, was the detail with which y/n would observe (obsess over) his daily behaviour and then rant about it to her. by the time finals week was on the horizon, she was just about done with y/n’s obsession.

y/n had been in the middle of ranting about how she had caught aemond revising for finals on the treadmill, when baela slammed the book that was open in front of her with frustration. “why don’t you just join him then?” she sarcastically asked, earning a “yeah right” from y/n who returned back to her notes as she realised that all this talk of her rival had clearly seemed to drive her friend to the point of irritation. “actually… why not?” though she had asked the question rhetorically, baela soon realised that perhaps that wasn’t such a crazy idea after all. y/n, did not share that understanding. she blinked back at her “i’m sorry am i supposed to say something or just wait in silence while you regain your senses. what are you talking about?”

“you said it yourself, you study better with a partner. and i don’t have any of the same classes as you.” the thought of baela having fun studying marine biology while y/n had to suffer aemond targaryen’s presence all alone at the history department was a point that brought her great sadness each day. “he does. and you have to admit it, he’s pretty good.”

as soon as y/n opened her mouth with a retort right on her tongue, baela silenced her with one pointed sentence “i have one reply to all your objections — keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”

oh, y/n thought, she’d never thought of it that way. “besides,” baela reopened the book she had shut, “this way you can keep an even closer eye on his schedule.” she teased.

☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆

aemond somehow didn’t need to lift his eye to know who it was that had approached the corner library desk that had become his unofficial residence for finals weeks. “can i help you, l/n?” he asked, as she stopped before him. “no, but i can certainly help you, targaryen.” she announced, pulling out the chair across from him and putting her laptop bag down on the desk. he wordlessly raised his brow as she made herself comfortable. “look—” she knew that selling the idea to him was going to be just as hard as it was for it to be sold to her, but she was as stubborn as she was competitive, “—if we work together, our work will be halved. i can beat your ass at history of tyrosh and the origins of dorne any day of the week, and you are marginally better than me at valyrian history and aegon’s conquest. i am proposing that we sit and quiz each other on the exam portions and that way we’re both covered for our weaker subjects.”

she did not like the smug smirk that overcame his face at the suggestion. “so, you’ve come here to grovel for my help?” she could punch his perfect white teeth in. “look you little shit, while everyone on campus will be sweating and crying and chugging copious amounts of energy drinks to survive this week – we could be sailing through it, if we do this. our rivalry’s entertaining and all, but the stress of finals week will make even your fabulous hair fall out.”

“hmm.” he considered her words for a second. she rolled her eyes as he seemed to revel in making her wait for his response, “c’mon, targaryen, do it for the hair.” she was sure she saw his lips twitch upwards at her teasing.

“fine.” he finally gave in, causing y/n to sigh in relief, “but if you can’t keep up, i’m dropping you.” “likewise.” y/n promised.

she had to admit, studying with aemond was actually not that bad. their reading speed was similar, he kept her on her toes with his constant quizzing, and initially he had seemed to be singularly focused on the task at hand. as the days went on though, y/n found that they had actually started to talk of things beyond dead king and queens. “so, you’re like, related to the conqueror?” she asked as a manner of taking a break from their revision of her least favourite class, the conquest of westeros. “yeah, directly. he’s a great-great, times ten, grandfather.” he answered, turning the signet ring on his hand subconsciously. “that’s cheating, then. i’d be great at that class too if daddy had told me tales of grandpa aegon every night before bed.” she shrugged as she reached to grab the pot of black coffee, to refill her cup.

“well, ‘daddy’ didn’t even bother saying goodnight most nights, so let’s not attribute any of my success to him.” she looked up at him suddenly at the off-handed admission about his home life, but before she could really react, he added. “you just want there to be more to why i’m better than you, rather than accepting – i just am.” there was that smug smirk again, the one that she used to loath. but nowadays, that same smile was more playful than hostile, she had noted. “or, i’m trying to figure out if being an asshole is just who you are, or if it runs in your family. aegon burned half of westeros down to colonise it, so I’m leaning towards the latter.” “colonise?” he was clearly irritated at her choice of words. “one race of people, the valyrians, through violence made another race, the first men, submit to them. that’s the textbook definition of colonisation, is it not?” she raised her brow, inviting him to debate her. she knew it was the subject he felt most passionate about, and thus, it was the class where she would most often find herself playing devil’s advocate, for no reason other than to oppose whatever view aemond had taken. in their revision sessions, too, she liked to watch the passion light a fire in his eye whenever she would declare his opinion was wrong. he looked hot when he was academically pissed off.

“westeros was just different war lord states fighting for dominance until aegon united the seven kingdoms.” he firmly argued. “so what, that gave him open invite to just come and take over?” she challenged, crossing her arms with a self-satisfied grin at having gotten him so riled up already. he opened his mouth to throw his retort at her, when suddenly the door to aemond’s apartment, where they had been studying, swung open to disturb the proceedings.

she saw a man with platinum blonde hair that matched aemond’s stumbling as he entered the apartment with his arm around a beautiful girl, with black hair hanging down to her waist.

aemond, she noted, was visibly annoyed at this.

“oh, did we spoil your little study session?” the other man rhetorically asked, without any real remorse in his tone, his words slurring to indicate that he had been drinking. he sat himself down on the sofa next to y/n, uninvited, a move that inexplicably made aemond’s jaw tighten. “you must be my little brother’s study buddy, y/n. i know all about you, and i’m sure he’s told you nothing about me. i’m aegon, the nerd’s big bro.” y/n was immediately amused at the thought of this man, who was decked in a supreme tracksuit and who’s hair seemed to have been left uncombed, was the perfect, prim and proper aemond’s elder brother. “nice to meet you, aegon. are you studying at the university too?” “business major, yeah, graduating next year.” he replied stretching his hand to place it behind y/n. aemond snorted at his brother, “with the way your finals prep is going, i would not bother wasting money on a graduation gown.” he eyed the woman with whom aegon had entered, judgement clear in his eye.

“hey! i decided to follow your lead and i’ve asked cassandra here to be my study buddy. i’ve actually gone one step further than you and invented the best revision method.” he declared. aemond seemed to have no curiosity at his brother’s statement, but y/n asked “do tell.” aegon turned to her with a pleased smile, “it’s revision, but with strip poker rules.” he simply answered.

she raised a brow at his response, “as in…?” “as in you quiz each other, and every time one of you gets an answer wrong – you take an item of clothing off. it’s a win-win, if you get the answer right, good job, you know your shit. if you don’t…. well, its so much more fun if you don’t.” y/n had to purse her lips to suppress the laughter at the back of her throat.

at the sound of aemond packing up his books, she looked away from aegon to the younger brother. “let’s go to your dorm, y/n. he definitely doesn’t know his shit, and his ‘revision’ tends to be loud.”

☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆

as per y/n’s prediction, final’s week had indeed sailed by for aemond and her because of their revision sessions. they only had one exam left now, and it was the one they had both been dreading the most – historical methods. it was a subject that was so boring and plainly simple, that they knew it was easy enough to study for, but they could not bring themselves to revise something so mind-numbingly dull.

y/n, in her frustration, threw her notes on the table at aemond’s apartment. aemond, seated on the other end of the sofa from where y/n was lying on her back, shared her frustration, but he tended to be more stoic and was determined to finish the work on hand. “it’s just a few more topics, and then you never have to think about the subject ever again.” he tried to placate her. “it’s too boring, i can’t do it!” she complained bringing her hands up to her face in frustration. aemond couldn’t help but notice how the action made the t-shirt she was wearing ride up and expose soft skin just above her jean shorts, his eye remaining fixed on the spot for a second too long.

then, the mixture of a caffeine high and a boredom that was seeming like an unending chasm, gave birth to what y/n thought was a brilliant idea. she moved her fingers slightly, so only her eyes would poke out from behind them. “let’s try your brother’s idea.” she suddenly said, “i don’t think anyone has ever said that sentence before.” he remarked.

“i’m serious.” she sat up, as if to indicate her earnestness. “the ‘revision, but with strip poker rules’ idea, let’s try it.”

aemond’s expression was unreadable as she watched him, but she was certain she saw his adam’s apple move at the suggestion. “it’s a dumb idea.” he said, but his throat had gone dry at the thought.  y/n rolled her eyes, “that’s the point! it’ll break the monotony.” she crawled to his side of the sofa. “come on, aemond. don’t be a coward.” the suggestion of him even possibly being cowardly had clearly set off something in him. “fine.” he shut the book in his hand and placed it on the table.

they quizzed each other, and it was going much the same as their usual quizzing went, which disappointed y/n since it did not in fact break the monotony as she had wanted. that was until, in her over-confidence, she got a question wrong. “well…” aemond seemed to be very satisfied indeed at her wrong answer, “are you going to do the honours or are you ready to admit that you’re the only coward here?” he scanned the white t-shirt she was wearing, almost with hunger and an expectancy, y/n thought.

she pulled the shirt off over her head, and threw it right at his smug face, “i’m no coward.” he caught it with ease, and for a split second she was sure he smelling it as he held it to his face, before dropping it in his lap. when he looked at her now, he didn’t even attempt to hide how he was taking in her figure, as she sat exposed only in her black bra. knowing that she was being watched, she sat straighter, even as she muttered “pervert” but made no attempt to hide her form.

 “please, don’t even try to pretend like you don’t love it.” now, that did take her aback. sure, she had caught him looking at her chest or her ass many-a time over their study sessions, and had done nothing to stop it, but she hadn’t realised that he had in fact, caught her catching him when he looked. he knew she had allowed it all this while, unspoken.

the monotony was certainly broken now.

when it was next aemond’s turn to ask a question, he threw her an easy one, a question she had answered in class. but y/n shrugged and said, “i don’t know”, as an answer. aemond snorted at her, “yeah, you do.”

she simply laid on her back as she undid her shorts and slid them down her legs, eyes never leaving aemond’s as she did. he wet his lower lip with his tongue, and then bit down as he watched. his eye trailed her bare legs, up to her panties, with very little being left to his imagination now that she sat only in her underwear on his sofa.

“my turn” she had the perfect trick question in mind, and when he called her out, saying “there is no right answer to that”, she shrugged once again. “are you going to do the honours or are you ready to admit that you’re the only coward here?” she threw his words back in his face with a grin.

he didn’t seem to need a lot of convincing. he pulled off his shirt in one swift move, and y/n felt her stomach clench at the sight of defined muscles on pale skin. she took a minute to memorise his details before she asked him the next question, but she hadn’t even reached the end of it before aemond was unbuttoning his pants, answering the question by simply saying “don’t know, don’t care.” it seemed as if he was in a hurry, as if he had waited long enough for this moment.

y/n seemed to be in a hurry too, when she deliberately gave a rushed, wrong answer to his next question. she moved her knees to straddle him where he sat, able to feel everything through her own cotton panties over his satin boxers. “need some help with the bra hooks.” she said as an excuse for her action. he readily obliged, with his hands reaching behind her and unhooking her bra with ease, letting the material fall down to the floor. his hands trailed up from her waist to her chest, pale hands first covering and then roughly squeezing her breasts. she started to rock back and forth where she sat, her now wet panties grinding against his obvious bulge.

“it’s your turn to ask.” she breathlessly reminded him after a minute, “fuck revision.” he was trailing kisses around her collar bone, sucking hard enough to leave bruises, she was certain. ““fuck revision”? who are you and what have you done to aemond targaryen?” she chuckled. he only gave her a growl in return, as his arms snaked around her waist to hold her up and then place her back down, with her back hitting the soft sofa.

he hovered over her for a second, supporting himself on his knees as his fingertips traced her side. “you look so hot when you’re concentrating….” he murmured, seemingly out of nowhere, as his fingers found the waistband of her panties and hooked under them. “…and when you’re debating me….” he pulled the cloth over her legs, and his hand reached down to the wetness between her legs “… and especially, when someone tells you you’re right.” a shiver went down her spine she felt two of his cold fingers in her folds. “already so wet for me.” he chuckled.

“oh, would you stop being a tease and just…” at her complaint he withdrew his fingers suddenly, causing her to whine. “just what?” he asked, making her feel more frustrated with him than she had ever felt before. “did you really think i was going to let go of the perfect opportunity to make you beg for me? make you beg me, to fuck you?” oh, there was that stupid fucking smug smirk once again. Now, it was no secret that y/n had too much pride, especially when it came to facing off with aemond targaryen. but as she lay there, exposed and achingly wet, she decided she had to bury her pride to get what she wanted.

“aemond…” she swallowed, “fuck me.” that did not seem to give him what he wanted. he cocked his head to one side, “hmm. you’re missing something.” she huffed, thinking why he had to make this so difficult, and how satisfied he must be at getting her in this position. “aemond…fuck me….please.”

at that, he grinned. he bent down to be inches away from her face, “as you wish.”

she felt two of his fingers enter her suddenly, making her gasp. his fingers curled inside of her roughly, at the same time he started to kiss the side of her neck with more gentleness than she had expected of him. the dichotomy gave her a high. his fingers continued their assault, as her hands tangled themselves in his hair. “so tight…” he whispered against her ear, “how long have you been thinking about this, you little slut?” y/n could only hum back, not capable of formulating a well thought-out response.

Her legs clenched as he continued to dig his fingers inside of her with perfect rhythm. His thumb reached up to massage her clit, as her hand reach down to grab the arm that was inside of her, nails leaving scratch marks. A warmth spread around inside her stomach at the feeling.

when he suddenly pulled his fingers out, she groaned in frustration, “has anyone ever told you, you have no patience?” he tutted. y/n rolled her eyes as she sat forward and her hands moved to finally remove his boxers, “yes.”

with his boxers now discarded, he positioned her to lay back down on the sofa, her legs around his waist. his tip grazed her core, but he didn’t enter her which only added to her annoyance. “aemond, i swear to the old gods and the new, if you tease me for a second longer—” she was cut off by him slamming inside of her suddenly. “ah!” she moaned as he filled her, “that ought to shut you up.” he grunted, supporting himself by keeping a hand on the arm of the sofa that was beneath her head. “oh, gods… aemond…” she could feel him touching her spot, legs growing weaker with each thrust.

he was going at it with a ruthless pace, leaving her feeling helpless and satisfied at the same time. his mouth dipped and he began sucking on her nipple, his teeth grazing where she was sensitive, making her yelp in pleasure. she grabbed his shoulder, grip strong enough leave even more marks. as she felt his tongue circle the skin around her nipple, she made a mental note to tell his brother that she had come to agree that his method of revising was indeed ingenious.

“aemond…i’m…” she had begun to say, “yeah baby, almost there” he replied lifting his head to her face. he tucked a stray stand of her hair behind her ear, a gesture that felt more intimate than the sex. he placed his hand on her cheek before his lips finally met hers. she could taste the black coffee they had been drinking on his tongue, mixed with something minty like toothpaste. for all the roughness with which he fucked her, y/n realised that the kiss felt sweet, tender almost.

“fuck…” he said against her lips, and she could tell he was close too. “aemond…ah!” she reached her peak, just as he pulled out and finished on her stomach.

panting, breathless and sore, for once y/n did not have a retort in the presence of aemond targaryen. he seemed rather speechless too, as he remained above her, unspeaking but his eye refusing to leave her face. he seemed to be in deep thought, and just when he opened his mouth to speak, a different voice could be heard from down the hall.

“and you called my ‘revising’ loud.” aegon snorted, leaning against his bedroom door.

[cilil]

Why did Manwë let Melkor out of jail? - Ainur answers

(by none other than JRRT himself)

Like Námo's silence regarding important events in the future (for an explanation of that, see here), the decision to free Melkor after three ages of captivity has been subject to very understandable confusion and frustration on the part of many readers. Instead of the unsatisfying, dismissive answer "we wouldn't have a cool story otherwise, duh", there actually are in-universe reasons, but the answers are somewhat hidden in deeper Elf and Ainu lore that not everyone comes across or finds pleasant to read and research (which, again, is very understandable).

I thought long and hard about how I could present this in a digestible way and upon revisiting the texts, I realized that, conveniently enough, Tolkien himself has provided an explanation for Melkor's release from Mandos, which of course is even better than anything I could have scraped together.

The passage in question can be found at the end of the essay "Ósanwë-kenta". I'm going to summarize Tolkien's explanation in a hopefully clear and helpful manner and am happy to provide screenshots from the PDF (best I have access to right now, sorry) if needed. There's also a tldr at the bottom.

⪼ Previously, Tolkien has described how ósanwë works. The key takeaway is that not even someone as powerful as Melkor can forcibly "read someone's mind" or perform "mind control" or anything of this sort because every sentient being is able to close themselves off and not reveal their thoughts unless they choose to. Thus Melkor was able to deceitfully approach some people, convince them to "let him in" and gain access to them that way, but others essentially blocked him. He learned language as a secondary tool to circumvent that barrier by other means of communication.

⪼ Tolkien then moves on to the issue of the Valar being deceived by Melkor. He acknowledges that it may seem strange to a reader that the Valar couldn't see Melkor's true intentions and how Manwë "appears at times almost a simpleton compared with him" (his words), especially when we as readers already know that Melkor is too absorbed in hate and pride to repent

⪼ He states that Melkor could read Manwë's mind because his was open, but Manwë couldn't do so in return because Melkor had closed himself off/projected a sort of false openness that hid his true intentions

⪼ Tolkien then poses the question: "How otherwise would you have it? Should Manwë and the Valar meet secrecy with subterfuge, treachery with falsehood, lies with more lies? If Melkor would usurp their rights, should they deny his?"

⪼ According to him, Manwë's mind was always open, both as in receiving instructions from Eru and doing his will and as in being open to others because he had nothing to hide. Melkor knew this and relied on Manwë being consistently honest and acting in accordance with Eru's rules and laws, even if he (Melkor) broke them and did whatever he wanted

⪼ Tolkien writes: "Thus the merciless will ever count in mercy, and the liars make use of truth"

⪼ He makes it clear that Manwë couldn't force Melkor to reveal his true thoughts. Melkor had to be believed until proven false and be given an opportunity to fulfill his promises

⪼ The force that was used against Melkor - Angainor, the captivity, etc - was, as Tolkien clarifies, not a way of forcing any sort of confession ("which was needless"). It could be called punishment, but should more accurately be thought of as "putting Melkor in timeout" (not his words), so that he has the opportunity to reconsider; for the sake of Arda, but also his own

⪼ Tolkien stresses that, should Melkor choose to return to the allegiance of Eru, he has to be given his freedom back and could not be enslaved or denied his part

⪼ He also stresses that Manwë's task as Elder King was to keep everyone in Arda in the allegiance of Eru and bring back those who strayed, BUT he is to leave them free within that allegiance. This is important to understand about Manwë's role and kingship in general

⪼ Because of this, it was only when Eru finally allowed it that the Valar went after Melkor (presumably referring to the War of Wrath, but the same idea applies to the Chaining)

⪼ Tolkien describes Manwë as acting reluctantly when he went to war against his brother. The reasons given include grievous hurt to Arda, as is the result of Ainur fighting, but also that, while the use of force was lawful here, it didn't accomplish much: Melkor's evil wasn't eradicated and couldn't be; only maybe if he had repented, but he didn't. The captivity made him more hateful, more adapt at lying, more vengeful

⪼ Next Tolkien argues that while great pain, suffering and loss came from Melkor's release, this chain of events also led to his ultimate defeat which otherwise maybe couldn't have happened

⪼ Finally, he discusses the question whether Melkor's continued captivity in Mandos would have led to a better outcome. Even when diminished, his power is "beyond our calculation". It could have been that, being denied his freedom and when he asked to be released, there could have been a "ruinous outburst of his despair"

⪼ But Tolkien says that this wouldn't have been the worst outcome. Rather the main concern is that Manwë breaking his promise to Melkor would have been a step down the same dark path his brother chose, even if done with good intentions. He would have acted like a mere worldly king who takes advantage of a defeated rival and ceased to be Eru's representative

⪼ Tolkien concludes by saying that this would have resulted in a world split between two proud Valarin lords striving for the throne and reminding us that one evil Vala was more than enough to handle, especially for us incarnates

Tldr:

Due to the way ósanwë works, nobody had any way of knowing if Melkor was speaking the truth or not and he couldn't be forced to reveal his true thoughts

Manwë had to, according to Eru and Eru's laws, give Melkor the benefit of the doubt

Not doing so would have been an evil act and disqualified him from being Eru's appointed vice-gerent

Melkor's lies and ultimate refusal to repent caused untold sorrow, but also his own final downfall which otherwise may not have happened

Obligatory disclaimer: As should be evident in the text, this is Tolkien's opinion, Tolkien's answer to this question and Tolkien's intentions for his own universe. The above summarized explanation he gave is not an "opinion" or "headcanon" of mine. You are entitled to your own opinion on this, I merely felt like it's only fair - and arguably necessary or at least helpful in terms of understanding - to hear out what the author himself has to say.

Like I said in the beginning, the intention behind this post was to compile his take for your convenience. The intention is very much not to attack anyone or their takes. In return, I ask you to please don't attack anyone either, please don't bash characters and please keep the conversation nuanced. Thank you!

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

Pacifica Northwest is transmasc and you can't change my mind

Okay. That sounds insane. I am aware. It sounds insane to me. But fuck it - I already did the trans Dipper rant essay and so I'll do the same with trans Pacifica.

So Pacifica grows up rich with very oppressive parents. She's clearly a child of abuse who likely has no sense of identity. She's forced to fit a strict mold of The Perfect Daughter. Someone who is perfect and demure and pristine and womanly and who has to wear the right color dress and can't just wear something close enough because otherwise she gets something implied to be very bad.

Put another way: A kid is forced to be exactly perfect and the definition of whatever their gender is. They are not allowed to deviate from that definition in the least otherwise Bad Things happen. They're scared to even be slightly different.

Sound familiar? Because a lot of trans kids go through the same thing. A lot of trans femme people have to play with the Boy Toys because otherwise they're a flower boy and that's bad (which in itself is bad because flower boy is old slang for gay/derogatory as well as gender expression and identity being different but it also hurts trans people). A lot of transmasc people have to play dress up because if they don't there's Something Wrong with them.

I am more than 90% certain that it wasn't intentional, but looking at Pacifica through the lens of someone who tried to do a Boy Thing once and was forced to be hyperfemme for the rest of their life is just so good to me.

Pacifica embodies a lot of toxic girl tropes. You've heard of toxic masculinity, now get ready for toxic femininity - she's petty and superficial and puts too much stock in appearances. Which, granted, is a thing that happens in girl friend groups - I've seen it happen many times - but it reads as different to me. This isn't malice, Pacifica has been shown to be a good person (The Golf War, Northwest Mansion Mystery). She cares for those around her and often only acts the way she does because she has to. Any time she tries to speak up, she gets ruthlessly shut down. She has to be what her parents want, when they want, how they want. If she doesn't, she gets punished.

Yes, Pacifica shows up to every event dressed femme. But who drove her to those events? Who has their claws in every aspect of the town? Who would hear about anything that happens in Gravity Falls? Who buys her clothes? Her parents. And if her parents - who, again, are likely abusive - want her to be and dress like their perfect little girl, their hyperfemme daughter, then she will. She has to be.

From a writing perspective, Pacifica is made to be the opposite of Mabel. One loves fun and color and chaos, is nice no matter what. The other is sitting outside this room and named Pacifica Northwest. But looking at it like that, why wouldn't Pacifica be trans? Especially if Mabel is transfemme - which is a fun reading of her and one that I love to see. It's not canon but think about it. If Mabel is transfemme then Pacifica - her inverse - would be transmasc. The other end of the spectrum.

But now I need real evidence, right? My transmasc Dipper essay was built on much more than "this is behavior seen in a lot of trans people just generally". I pointed out specific scenes in specific episodes - though I forgot Carpet Diem, which is fascinating and which I could so make an essay on by itself. Can I do that for Pacifica?

Well, the short answer is no. The best evidence I have is a general hand-wave at her behavior and environment and "this just reads as transmasc to me". Which, to be completely fair, is how headcanons work. They don't necessarily need any degree of proof. It's nice and it can help people to agree with you, but in the end, it doesn't matter. I can say I headcanon anything, and because it's a headcanon, you can't do shit about it. If I say Pacifica is transmasc beyond a shadow of a doubt, then you can challenge me.

To be fair, I did say that. The title of this is literally "Pacifica is transmasc and you can't change my mind", I will take that I was making claims. But also I immediately followed that up with "it sounds insane to me" so I should hope we all know that I'm going into headcanons-based-on-the-text territory.

And I'm never going to attack someone over a headcanon that makes someone feel seen, and I'd hope that holds true for everyone. I like Pacifica as transmasc and forcing herself into the box of cis female when it's wrong because I did the same. I love transmasc Pacifica. I love the idea of Pacifica and Dipper hanging out and him telling her that he's trans and Pacifica just kinda goes "you can do that? But then why doesn't everyone? Being a girl kinda sucks - there's girl drama and dresses and girl puberty and all that stuff. Everyone would be a guy if they could" and Dipper gives her The Look and says "Pacifica Northwest, that is the most trans thing I have ever heard".

In conclusion, I headcanon trans masculine Pacifica Northwest. Still workshopping a chosen name for him but I do, and I love him. It's all silly fun headcanoning a children's cartoon character as trans and it hurts no one. And it doesn't even affect a lot of the things I'll do. I have one fic that will hint at it and one that will treat it as the main center of the story planned. (It will be a part of my AU but not a major part and I'm also playing with the thought of gender-fluid Pacifica for Divine Falls. It's entirely ignorable and will not affect anything related to the main AU's plot.)

Yes I referred to Pacifica as she/her for most of this essay but it was referring to a pre-realization Pacifica who isn't out yet and thus would convince herself that she was uncomfortable with he/him pronouns and therefore calling them he/him would be wrong until he came out.

[bonefall]

Looking for advice since you're great with stuff like this: I'm struggling with how to have a character fundamentally change. A character in my cat story loses his memory and ends up working with the main characters to stop his own plan he made to destroy the world (and after the plan is stopped, he regains his memories). I want his time in the Starless to change him, make him less obsessed with power, but I'm really starting to struggle with whether or not that makes sense and how to work that.

Hmm.. well, first bit of advice I always give is that characters are not people. They are writing tools. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be "realistic" or that connecting to the human traits in the audience isn't important.

It means that a character exists to tell a story.

By "tool" I mean "machine." Every trait is a piston, and ideally they work together to drive your story along. What are you saying with each trait? What is your beginning point for the story, and their end? What do you want to explore? What do you want the audience to take away?

So if you feel stuck on a character, find the larger message you want to impart with them. The job they're doing in your narrative.

What do you want to say about power?

What do you want to say about why Character X wanted to destroy the world? Why was he wrong? What feelings and information lead him to that conclusion?

What is his redemption arc doing for your themes?

Every writer answers those questions differently. For example, I feel strongly that power doesn't corrupt, it reveals. When you finally have the influence to make others do what you want, you make them do it. I don't see "power" as being like... a magic, abstract thing, it's influence over other people, and those people are ALSO individuals with their own reasons for following the leader.

Digressing; what I'm getting at is that, as a writer, I have a lot of thoughts on power itself. I got this way with a lot of reading and interest on the topic. You might find it insightful to experience more art, essays, and commentary on the subject, if you ever get stuck, and develop an opinion you feel strongly about.

Not just about power, as broad writing advice.

Anyway.

If I was writing the character, these are the things I'd be thinking about specifically and changes I'd be making on personal taste. I don't know your full story enough so, hopefully it's insightful;

First of all I'm always SUPER wary of the "correct but demonized radical" trope. Does my villain have a point?

Am i just giving them a Kick-a-Baby scene to make them wrong when they should be completely right otherwise

What are my themes and tone? This is VERY important. Steven Universe is about family and emotions with low stakes violence; the Diamonds are essentially abusive grandparents that Steven is coaching through intergenerational trauma. They fit the universe they're in. Jack Horner does not belong in SU.

So I'd look at Character X's purpose.

Knowing me, I'd actually take out full amnesia entirely. I have memory problems related to trauma so I'm a lot more familiar with major, important details blotting out RIGHT when I need them. Enough that I can put myself in the shoes of someone like BB!Fallenleaf who remembers a lot but the details are fuzzy.

So personally I think I could write this villan to be VERY funny lmao

"Hello. I am Gnagnathor the Destroyer."

"No you're not. He has three horns. You have two."

(DID I USED TO HAVE THREE HORNS?????)

I also just find it more resonant when a character still remembers what they did, why they did it, and is able to refute themselves with their own growth.

To me like... when a character remembers NOTHING to the point where they're not informed by their actions or history at all, how are they really still the same person?

in general though I find total amnesia uninteresting. I wish it was less popular.

What did Gnagnathor DO with his power? What did he WANT from it?

The simplest version of this I know is "Gnag was hurting and wanted everyone else to hurt too. Now that he has a happy place, he doesn't want that."

TO BE CLEAR THATS FINE. That's a REALLY common power fantasy and it's not automatically a bad story. It's popular for a reason.

Personally I feel strongly about the idea, though, that people with power don't change unless they lose it. There's no reason to.

People don't change until you break the environment that contributes to the behavior.

Especially with victims unfortunately-- the ugly truth is that a lot of problematic behaviors exist because they protected the victim from their abuser's actions. You need safety to really start to unpack that.

You can personally identify it and address it as much as you want, when your abuser starts to use That Tone you will still seize up. Just try to yank yourself back into your head when you're disassociating during a screaming session; your reward is raw distress.

That said, not all villains HAVE to have tragic motivators like that, or be ex-victims at all. Leveraging power to get what you want can be as ugly as just being taught the people you're hurting are subhuman.

Or making up justifications for why This Is a Good Thing Actually.

Some people will lash out violently when these justifications fall apart, because accepting it would mean they're Being Bad

Most people have an innate desire to Be Good. Like... the vast, vast majority of people. Some sense of morality is observable in all intelligent social animals; dolphins, chimps, elephants.

Tangentially, if you understand that people don't WANT to be bad and that the natural response to a scolding is defensiveness, you understand that convincing people of something is a LOT easier when you approach with kindness.

AND IN TURN: be wary of those who are flattering while trying to convince you of something. This is Manipulation 101.

So back to Gnagnathor

Do I want to talk about environment and how it changes him to be away from power? How traits that previously earned him wealth or influence are suddenly incredibly taboo, so he can't use them here?

On that-- HOW did he get his power in the first place? Re: I'm very wary of the "correct but demonized radical" trope.

Were his minions following him because they have serious issues and he exploited their desperation? .....are you centering the experience of the poor, sad abuser over his victims

Or are they ALL united over something important and legitimate? With the redemption of their villainous leader, how are you planning for that to frame all of their former followers?

(This is why redeeming minions is usually a lot more productive than doing it to the leader, imo. Redeeming Zuko means you can explore the familial legacy, the indoctrination of the Fire Nation's children, their justifications, the way systems make monsters out of people. Redeeming The Firelord would probably have caused Azula, one of his victims, to pick up his slack and now, suddenly, you have a VERY uncomfortable situation where Ozai is thrashing one of his abused children but Good This Time.)

(Not to mention that, again... why would he do this. He has power. He's doing what he wants and is used to this situation. It would be a numbskulled narrative choice.)

Aaaand that's about all I can say without essentially being a cowriter or editor. It's on you to figure out what you're trying to do and say here. I'm a good writer on this subject because I think about it a lot, which has lead to my strong opinions and point of view. Your art is a reflection of you.

[verdemoun]

I wonder, how's Kieran doing, from the side of his neurodivergency? Was it diagnosed? Does he get support? An AAC perhaps, seeing as the poor guy's semi-verbal? How'd the rest of the gang accept it? I'M JUST SO CURIOUS ABOUT HIM I AM HOLDING HIM I AM SHAKING HIM LIKE A TOY HOW IS HE HANDLING HIS NEURODIVERGENCY

I am so normal about Kieran

You come into my house, the certified kieran duffy hyperfixation page, ask about my blorbo, my boy, the sole reason why RDR2 has infected my brain and completely changed my ability to engage with any other form of media, while also addressing my special interest of neurodivergence as a fellow brain wonk and career disability support worker all while finishing with the line 'I am so normal about Kieran'? Like shit I mean can I take you out for dinner?? Marry me maybe??

I am also so normal about Kieran

kieran duffy is autistic thank you goodnight!

no i will write a 2k word essay. kieran is pretty mid-spectrum (brief pause to acknowledge spectrum language lowkey outdated and problematic but no universally accepted alternative) he has chronic anxiety and mild aversion to eye contact, misses a lot of social cues, is hyper fixation central, but executive function-wise if he had spent his whole life in any one time period he would have been a-okay at being independent with some adaptive strategies

side tangent literally the first conversation he has with mary beth is so autistic he completely misses a rhetorical question, happily answers it, and then jumps straight into 'you're very pretty'. he apologizes for being forward he can and does acknowledge social conventions but just autistic brain does not understand why. is aware his brain is not wonking in the same direction as other people's brains.

but so. many. common sensory issues are a direct result of advances in technology. sure in 1899 wanting to cover your ears during a gunfight is a minor disadvantage but you know what isn't?? having every instinct in your body tell you to run away from the overwhelming loud noises. it took more effort to go into a city than to avoid them. going from horses, campfires and comfortably worn in clothing to the constant noise of cars, searing of artificial lights and synthetic fabric with clothes tags? bad time. Bad Time.

the real big issue for kieran in timewarp au is the c-ptsd autism combo meal. in general, buddy's got trauma. very clearly articulates how bad being an o'driscoll was physically and mentally. his intro is literally colm grabbing his collar and slapping him. gets starved and threatened with genital mutilation and still begs to stay with the VDLs because he hates colm. talks about the absolute power and control colm has. anxious whimpers telling arthur he saw o'driscolls riding around. it ain't just hate he is terrified of colm. you ever have a hypothetical anxiety situation become real and feel that knot of dread as your skin turns cold? knowing your literal worst nightmare was unfolding. and in this case, worse than he imagined. yeah. that's what it would've been like when kieran got taken at shady belle. immediately knowing he wasn't going to survive. only thing he could do is make sure he protected the VDLs and he instead he talked. it's canon kieran talked, whether tortured or manipulated into talking he did. first people to treat him decent, people he considered friends, and he died feeling like he betrayed them.

timewarp means dying. memories of dying. personally hc eye gauging was first but even - being beheaded. intentional deliberate time taken to make a show of it and inflict maximum psychological torment knowing what's going to happen opposed to the immediate bang and bullet of being shot. already autistic chronic anxiety man helpless to stop what's about to happen. i wonder if he thought the VDLs would care enough to try to rescue him and tried to hold onto that faint belief or if he immediately knew he meant so little they wouldn't? he died as he lived - alone.

only to immediately be thrown into modern era. fending for himself for approx a month before the gang stumble across him. with those memories being recent. with the overstimulation of suddenly being thrown into modern era saint denis. he is a homeless autistic man with no idea where he is what's happening what is a car why are they so loud why are street lights so bright and he just went through literally dying. having all his anxieties and the memories of the pain of whatever he went through with the o'driscolls. and the guilt? he is so terrified of the consequences of talking and betraying the gang that he literally runs from lenny and hosea when they first find him in timewarp. a month of starving, surviving on loose change and corner store coffee and occasional apple he may have picked out of a bin and still chooses to run because he's so completely traumatized by being taken/betraying the gang.

it's a lot more ptsd and that anxiety around 'i talked' that lead to semi-verbalism with autism reinforcing it opposed to the other way around. it only takes a few days of gentle encouragement + food + safe warm place to sleep (first time since long before even riding with the o'driscolls) for kieran to get comfortable with nods or the occasional one word response and most of the gang are happy to leave it there because they get he's been through a Lot. lenny and hosea saw what happened to him. hosea carried his decapitated head to his grave. they're all struggling and learning to adapt to modern era. kieran locking himself in a room for a week, flinching at any noise or touch like he's been scalded just seems reasonable after what he's gone through.

except despite being stray dog starved he's still picking at meals obviously only eating the meat and veggies which he has always done so they don't really think to mention it. and he doesn't really start settling in. he just. sits in room. might tremble into the kitchen like a wee lamb at 2am when he thinks everyone's asleep, grab an apple and vanish back to his room. gang increasingly confused because kieran is completely avoiding eye contact but clearly listening, answering questions as he stares in horror at the dishwasher no matter how many times they've explained it and let him like try to figure it out realise it isn't some sort of torture device. but maybe he was always like that how many actually talked to him??

resident tech lad lenny tries showing him a basic AAC app but having to remember to 1. charge phone 2. use phone 3. open app 4. scroll until finding image that probably means what he wants because he can't read 5. click button until gang charades out whole sentence is a lot of steps compared to just fidgeting/staring until someone asks the right question. it gets frustrating because he knows the complete sentence is 'hi sean what's the deal with you always bringing home pizzas also is there any way you could please bring home the one that's plain cheese again??' but he can't read so it's just guessing based on images 'sean why pizza? please pizza cheese' when he uses the AAC. instead he can eat his cheesy pizza, make a point of getting sean's attention, point at pizza, nod and get the point of 'i really like cheesy pizza please can you get more' across all while still chewing.

bessie, who is a history professor and absolutely talks to autistic people on a daily basis is embarrassed how long it takes her to realize hey wait kieran is a) only leaving his room at times where sensory load is reduced b) stimming to soothe when confronted with something new or higher anxiety than usual and c) only has multiple syllable conversations about horses and fishing. he went from terrified rabbit to genuinely excited to be talking about those things only to shut down immediately again when the conversation shifted or something happened that spooked him. she introduces him to noise cancelling headphones, slowly, gently explaining what they are, giving him multiple options to say no because still a new weird sensation but the relief is instant. kieran looked around, realized he couldn't hear damned buzzing and cars and just beamed leg bouncing in sheer excited relieved joy.

it's a lot more figuring out what works for kieran through trial and error because the gang have not heard of autism and don't really get it despite bessie's best efforts to explain. sean absolutely hit her with the 'wouldn't that make everyone autistic??' and she snapped back 'wOuLDn'T tHaT mAKe EveRYoNe iRiSH'. but they're all going through adapting to modern era and can empathize pretty well with how overwhelming a lot of the modern era is. electricity does have a noise most people get used to but every single one of the timewarpers went through a phase of looking over their shoulder in mild irritation because it's constant until their brains learned to filter the sound. kieran won't and wears headphones to cope with it? sure thing that makes sense!

trauma brain is desperate for assurances of safety by avoiding triggers (loud or new noises, green clothing, strangers, anything unfamiliar=dangerous) while autism brain is screaming safety is found in routine so that becomes a very important thing. with no horses to look after his routine is very much watch tv, do gardening, help out around house because feeling helpful is a dopamine hit for him. it's a lot of letting him do things at his own pace because he is a people pleaser and will do anything if he thinks he is being useful even at his own expense. but 'being helpful' goal setting a really easy way to gently expand his comfort zone. grocery shopping was withdrawn meltdown inducing but the second he has a job like being asked to push the trolley he will merrily shop for hours because he's just focusing on one task. brain suddenly content ignoring things that would otherwise be overwhelming, and once all the neurodivergency in his brain decides grocery shopping is not a potentially fatal experience he's suddenly wandering aisles picking up things they forgot or content going to the grocery store alone because he wanted a specific thing.

after catching kieran self-medicating anxiety with alcohol they do go through the process of at least getting him on SSRIs which is a lot easier than going through the process of a full diagnosis of adult autism but it's already a footnote in his medical file because it's pretty clear to anyone with an ounce of neurodivergent awareness that he is textbook autistic. and honestly modern era for kieran: it's not better or worse than canon for his particular brand of autism but definitely different. he's actually more comfortable around people in general because the odds of running into someone who has committed murder is a lot lower than it was in outlaw circles. because of supports like noise-cancelling and sensory toys he's more curious about things that would have made him want to tear his flesh off his bones in the past. genuinely enjoys when the gang decide to catch the train somewhere vs the heart attack the idea would've been in 1899. instead of needing to retreat and stim and be alone he will catch himself getting distressed over something (it's sean putting away dishes with reckless abandon) and pull on a weighted blanket and be at peace again. still would rather be in 1899 taking care of horses because there was less things to get used to but he can get comfortable with new things and actually find new things he enjoys

plus the gang do genuinely care about him. it started as crippling guilt of not realizing he was taken by the o'driscolls until horsemen apocalypses but they almost all come around to him being a really pleasant guy and are more than glad to support whenever he needs it. like hosea will merrily encourage an infodump because he also really enjoys fishing. in a sad but wholesome way the gang don't really notice how neurodivergent he is because they just didn't pay enough attention to him in canon era to see how the manifestations of autism have changed. just yeah there's duffy he don't talk a whole lot but do not ask him about seasonal fishing unless you have 3 hours to spare. do not go into his room that is his space he has hosea's permission to react violently to people messing with his things and the whole posse will rain hellfire upon anyone who takes his snacks without replacing them.

with it being clear kieran is not the biggest fan of the AAC lenny learns and helps teach kieran basic ASL so on less verbal days he can still ask for things and join in instead of getting frustrated with himself. most of the people he regularly hangs out with know enough words for it to be insanely helpful. his most used 'sign' is flipping people off. the gang's whiplash actually getting to know more of his personality as he feels safer around them than he ever did in 1899?? he might be a gentle buffoon but he is also a sass gremlin. arthur complains once about it being the 17th time kieran has watched spirit stallion of the cimarron and kieran sweetly threatens to reverse saving his life if arthur tries to reach for the remote again. he'll join in making fun of lenny and sean for how obviously they are simping for each other.

[tennessoui]

Jesus shitting christ, I just finished ch 6 of weeding out our wildfires, and how is it that every time I think things cannot possibly get any more heartwrenching, there come lines like 'that love that surpasses mother and wife and freedom itself—it is not enough' holy fuck. YOUR WRITING IS SO. FUCKING. GOOD. I am crawling out of my own skin for Anakin's sake, holy shit. (God, he really will never be normal about that old man. AND I LOVE IT.)

Also I just. I read the fic last night and hours later I'm still orbiting around this line: Yeah, alright, swee—yeah, okay, Obi-Wan

THE ABORTED TENDERNESS. THE WAY MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT AS ANAKIN CUT HIMSELF OFF. GOD. HELP. The way Anakin uses endearments (in your fic in general, and in this line specifically) makes me FERAL. I don't - i can't even describe why or how, just that it's so tastydelicious for my brain and every time it happens I get the very real urge to start chewing on concrete.

ALL OF THIS to say, holy fucking shit, thank you so much for sharing your writing! Your stories are incredible and it is such a joy to read them (including when I'm drowning in my own tears).

hello im so sorry for answering this ask late (aka after i posted chapter 7) BUT thank you so much for this i loved reading this ask (and i did multiple times) and it made me want to write chapter 8 that much faster

thank you for noticing all these things and loving them!! to talk only about one, yes!! anakin almost called obi-wan sweetheart and then i hope no one recovered

BECAUSE he choked on it!! and because he thinks (in chapter 6) that he can never truly label obi-wan as anything but 'master ' and 'obi-wan' so how can he possible say sweetheart??

i obviously love anakin calling obi-wan any number of pet names but i don't think we've spent enough time thinking about anakin feeling as if the ONLY pet name/nickname he is allowed to give to obi-wan is 'master'. it's like. either master or obi-wan? nah. we can do better.

like the consolidation of everything he wants to call obi-wan down to only his name or his title or some half-bitten off endearment??? i could write essays about that i think

[arealtrashact]

What is the appeal/what do you like about Saw? I enjoy horror as a genre and have seen people post about saw a lot on here and had the opportunity to watch it so I did. But. I'm kind of confused? what I enjoy about horror is (a lot of different things, some of which are:) the anticipation, the contrast of good, pleasant times and the deeply horrific things which then happen, a plot that is unpredictable even if it's clear it will only end badly, I enjoy not knowing how exactly it will be bad and then the film slowly revealing that to me. Saw did very few of these things. Maybe it's just not a film for me, (I haven't watched many slashers and I can imagine they might be similar and it's just a subgenre I don't understand/am destined not to like?) but even so I just cannot understand what people enjoy about it??? from the get go it's grim and horrific, which means that when things get worse, they never really feel that bad because you have no example of goodness in that universe to compare it to? The characters are. Pretty two dimensional and also not necessarily likeable. Idk I could go on but I don't want to sound like a dickhead who loves the sound of their own voice writing a really critical review of something I don't understand. I feel like with the fanbase it has on this website, I must be missing something. Please enlighten me!!! And if you can't explain it I would love any articles/analyses of the franchise that go some way to explain why people like it if you know of any. Sorry for littering your inbox with this mini essay lol but I watched it last week and I'm still just like. Disappointed and confused and you're the first person on my dash to post something related to it so lucky you, you get to be the receiver of this ask !!! Thank you in advance if you even read this far lol, I'd really appreciate if you could point me in the direction of some kind of explanation !!! No worries if not tho, have a good rest of your week 🌻🧡

I think you had it when you said, 'Maybe it's just not a film for me'. It really is as simple as that.

There isn't always a deeper meaning or some secret detail everyone else who does enjoy it is privy to. There is no magic answer that will enlighten you into the appeal that something holds for certain people.

That being said, you shouldn't feel confused or left out by being perturbed by something as polarizing as Saw lol.

I can't answer for everybody who likes this franchise because I'm sure everyone has different reasons but speaking solely for myself : I like these movies for all the reasons you listed that you don't.

These films are like chicken soup for my soul, and have been since I was about ten years old. They make me laugh, they provide me with catharsis, and ( contrary to your statement) I find the characters very charming. I could wax on about what these movies did for me at that tender age but I am not in the habit of analyzing why I love the things that I do ( I think I'd find some patterns I wouldn't want to acknowledge /coughs/ ). All I know is that when Hello Zepp starts playing at the end of every installment, my heart swells with uncomplicated joy.

[bekpengii]

Larcstone: Why I Write It

helloooo! This is my first official essay for the Larcstone series. I did say I would do chapterly deep dives and I did actually go thru w/ that and wrote the first essay, BUT it ended up amounting to double to word count of the actual chapter, and I'm 100% sure NO ONE is reading lmao. Instead, I'll just be answering any questions people have.

However, I do want to write a quick post talking about why I decided to write this fic just to see if I can reel in any readers.

ALSO, before I get into the actual essay, here’s a wip of Tweek’s design ->

once i finish this drawing up, i want to do an analysis on why I designed him the way I did since it’s very vital :))

FIRST OF ALL, I obviously am a huge PMMM fan and I have been for the past 5 years. I can't give it up ever. I also enjoy South Park and am relatively comfortable in the ao3 side of the fandom. The characters are just really moldable so it's easier to go out of character and not get too many complaints.

My biggest reason for writing is because there are a lot of topics I want to shed light on. I'm literally not trying to sound like a cringe nerd right now but I am genuinely the biggest philosophy nerd ever, so, with the series, I wanted to challenge myself and try to answer one of my favorite questions ever.

What defines good and what defines evil. More specifically, how far must one go to achieve absolute on either end? Larcstone is a say on the dichotomy of black-and-white morality. I wanted to test myself and see if I could figure out what absolute evil and absolute good would look like if they were two living characters.

So now we have Tweek and Craig. I had to create two characters that foiled each other in the most intense yet subtle way ever. So, to do that, I decided to only create one backstory in two contexts. Both of them are immigrants who struggled to learn English (Mitish in Tweek's case), had poor parental figures, major grievances, music orientation, ext. I just came up with a vague outline of what I needed both of them to go through, then fit it into the context of both of their lives.

Now we have two characters with nearly the exact same trauma. Yet, one is meant to be the ultimate good, and the other the ultimate evil. For spoiler reasons, I will not be saying who descends into what, but I feel like it's quite obvious if you've read the first version and maybe even if you've read the newer chapters. Either way, Tweek and Craig are meant to embody the idea that you are entirely in control of what you become. Both of them had some of the worst lives possible (Tweek had it worse IMO), yet one will stand up in the face of evil and the other will fall right down.

It would be very appreciated if you stopped by and read what I have out so far! If it doesn't interest you, that's also fine with me! You can stay for the art lol. I literally giggle and kick my feet every time anyone says something nice about this AU since it is quite literally my magnum opus. This AU is 99% up to interpretation and I would love so much to hear opinions on each character. None of these characters are meant to be either good or bad (even Tweek and Craig aren't 100% on either side) and hearing what people have to say in defense or against any characters would be SO GREATLY APPRECIATED!! :D

THANK YOU!!

[fabdante]

WIP Game!

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagged by: @robinainthood (thank you so much I've been wanting to do another one of these since the first one I did and I just got my laptop back so perfect timing! Check out their WIPS here!!)

Fiction

The One Were Kat Gets To Yell At Vergil (DmC)

Catharsis for Someone (TF2)

Retrospect (Samurai Champloo)

Swan Song (DmC)

Tales of Ba Sing Se redux (ATLA/Zutara)

The Mai/Jet dream captivated me (Atla/Mai and Jet)

The Jet Bit (ATLA/Zutara)

The really long Zelda Fic (LoZ/Zelgan)

Playlist for a Three-way with Eve, Lilith, and the Serpent (this is an original poem?)

A bug flew into my ear (this is also an original poem??)

ATLA Champloo (ATLA fic inspired by Samurai Champloo my beloved)

Gweoff Fic 2 Lmao: The Hair Dying One (Total Drama)

The One You Thought of in the Shower Where Snow gets Stuck in a Time Loop (Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes??)

The One where Kat needs to tell Vergil's Parents that he may or may not be dead and may or may not be king of hell also that their sons been a super natural being this whole time an-it's awkward (DmC)

Zutara Playlist Fic (ATLA/Zutara)

A Zelgan Fic I Started Editing About Bath Houses That I May Never Post (LoZ)

the one where Dante wakes up to his hook up cleaning his trailer for no reason and it's weird but she's cute so its fine probably (DmC)

Meta

Eva, Sparda, and the boys

Verat and The Divine

V is Kat theory and some thoughts on Downfall

My Long Running Desire For A Good Samurai Champloo Essay (this is actually 4 separate WIPs so if you want to get real spicy you can specify between: Take 3, An attempt at a conclusion, some points on Journey as Growth, Another misc unit of paragraphs)

Essay no one asked for on spiderverse and grief mostly because I'm obsessed with the black out kingpin causes

Essay no one asked for about why Channel Zero upset me

Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes Meta Post Roulette (i have like 3 of these on the same subject you're just going to get a random part of one of them)

Fics I Answered For Last Time But Am Still Writing

the lost boy fic im still writing because i got angry (Lost Boys) (the bit of WIP i posted last time)

Tagging: Not a person for every WIP I apologize sdfghjk but if you want to do it please tag me I want to see your wips!! Also tagging @thevampireauthoress @ro-blaze @mocosa-media

[fushitoru]

Hellooo! You inspired me with your writing, and so I am about to write fanfic, something with plot (ooh scary). How do you plan out your stories? Do you use a program or anything? I'd love to get tips and tricks. Thank you and bye bye 👋

heyyyy pookayyyyyyy. im definitely not a complex writer like a lot of people seem to be on here or ao3, so take my advice with a grain of salt. like i've said before, i had to work on college apps last year so i became really good at writing stories/seeing plots in a very objective way for my pea sized brain to handle. but writing advice below the cut!

warning: maybe light bridgerton!gojo spoilers?

Q: How do you plan out your stories?

A: Sometimes, it's okay not to have a plan. You've probably seen this before, but writing is a nonlinear process where you write things that don't necessarily happen next in your story but you feel a strong urge to write them. Art doesn't need to have a concrete plan, you can let yourself free with how you write it. I get my best ideas for scenes at 3am.

But regardless, my answer to this would be that I make a checklist of "scenes" for myself. You have to address all characters' conflicts and keep track of them, and I can't do that easily unless I make a concrete plan for every scene. I also really like checklists, because I probably have undiagnosed ADHD and can't function without that dopamine hit. Same reason why I never like having a lot of asks unanswered in my inbox, so all the pending requests are kinda driving me crazy right now LOL.

If it helps, write out each character's "plotline" and how they're going to grow, then think of scenes that make that growth tangible to the reader. I have a LOT of trouble with this in bridgerton!gojo, which is the most plot filled. gojo is a complex character, so i have to keep reminding myself of his issues right now. for example, gojo currently is someone who has a lot of responsibility on him, and he has been conditioned to think that he can't love to stay on the grind. reader infuriates him because she's the first one who's really posed a challenge for him. he's going to realize that he enjoys spending time with reader BECAUSE of that challenge and how it simulates him, which simulataneously making him panic because he forgets who he is and the vow to himself to never engage with a woman/prospective match that could lead to animosity at home. since he doesn't want to have unecessary fights or feelings that could distract him from his duty.

however, he's actively fighting the happiness/weird feeling in his heart whenever he sees reader, especially if he sees her with another man (after this whole gojo manor arc). he's going to be extremely irrational and threatening any man who chooses to actively court her, and this makes him realize that he does deserve love, that there can be space for love while prioritizing your responsibilities.

now, im just going to make this into scenes, writing something similar for reader and any other character that may need to show character growth. and boom! series planned.

Q: Do you use a program or anything?

A: I write on Google Docs because it automatically saves and I can write from my phone or laptop, whichever one I have on hand. Particularly useful when I get an idea at 3AM. It's also useful to share with beta readers. I wouldn't say I use anything else, but I know notion is sometimes helpful. There exist resrouces for (professional) romance writers, so I would check those out since they're also applicable!

Some other things:

If English is your second language/not your native language, or you get stuck on how to write things, read. Read fanfics on ao3, read real books, read the newspaper, read political critique, read essays, watch video essays. I learned English using Harry Potter (and having to wake up at 5am to go to school early to do Rosetta Stone in elementary school). Develop your own writing style. Ever get stuck on scene? Read how someone else did it/how they wrote. Doesn't even have to be a similar scene

Writing a character for the first time is HARD. Gojo was so hard for me to write for, and you can deffo see that in my eariler fics. Keep writing, and keep writing. I'm not going to be able to write Choso or Nanami well as the main lead in my stories yet, because I've never written them. I promise practice is the only thing that helps you improve.

[angelosearch]

Hooray Tumblr is letting me post this now!!

The following is a super intense, probably too personal essay about trying to process the overwhelmingly GOOD news that I got into grad school.

I wasn't sure about posting this, but ultimately, it is a story about never giving up, because you never know where you will be in a couple of years. So maybe this will help someone who is struggling with feelings of being trapped in their own lives.

It can get better, and it will.

I look at my life right now and I am so overwhelmed and grateful. I get to be creative every day. I am writing again. I am always learning new things about art and psychology. I have a lovely home and amazing husband and great dog that I cherish. I have met some incredible people that, now that they are in my life, I never want them to leave.

And now I have gotten into grad school.

It all seems impossibly fantastic and I wonder what I did to deserve this. There is also a part of me that is curious when I will mess it up, but in this big tangle of emotions I am feeling, I am trying not to dwell on those.

There is a cord of sentiment that is thicker and wrapped around the rest. Something that I can't put a name to, but it has a color the shade of something thankful. Every time I twirl it around my mind I start to tear up.

It is the feeling that I am living a life I never could have imagined in my darkest days and I am just... so so so happy I am still here for them.

In the winter of 2020, after a life-long battle with mental illness, I gave up. I didn't try to give up, I actually gave up. It is only by some kindness of the universe that I am still here to type this post.

Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary question--but the problem is, when you spend a good portion of your life haunted by depression and trauma and a voice that tells you that you have nothing to offer the world, the question does not seem temporary. When I became unable to imagine an escape from a job that made me feel worthless, a chronic illness that put me in pain and left me in isolation, a blanket of guilt I could not shake, and a global tragedy with no end in sight, I took my own emergency exit. It was like jumping out of the window of a burning building on the 32 floor. I believed I would die either way, but the fall to the ground would require less suffering.

I was lucky enough to be caught on the way down - but I didn't feel lucky. They wanted to put me back in the building, and now the fire was hotter and had consumed my furniture.

I woke up in a very poorly run psych ward. So poorly run, my husband did not know where I had been taken for 18 hours after he called 911. I was given a roommate who was way too much like my mother, and I slowly became manic without the knowledge of the staff. They discharged me a few days before Christmas.

I had been hypomanic before, but I never had a word for it. When I was crying at the sunset that night and feeling so energetic and happy (and telling the funniest jokes I had ever told, from my skewed perspective), I just thought I was happy to be alive. But I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep. My pressured speech and grandiose ideas scared my husband and I ended up in psych ward #2 (a much nicer one). I had to spend one night in the ER screaming and hallucinating, believing my heart would give out before I'd fall asleep, before I got there, though.

They called it "manic psychosis." I called it "the darkest timeline."

On Christmas eve, I was given the gift of a new diagnosis: bipolar disorder. I was too unstable to know what that meant or to conceptualize that the burning building was crumbling in some parts.

On the day I was discharged, I slept very little and was extremely lethargic. I had trouble moving and my assigned counselor had to prop me up to help me to his office. I don't know why they discharged me when I had to be taken downstairs in a wheelchair, but they did.

I was in urgent care not 24 hours later when I could no longer walk or sit up, and I even had trouble speaking. A nice EMT, who I remember had a name that included two US presidents, though I don't recall which, took me to my third hospital in two weeks. By time I made it to my room, I had trouble swallowing and was put on a liquid diet.

It is hard to say what the worst part of this terrifying saga was. However, laying in that hospital bed with no ability to regulate my body temperature, stuck awake and unable to move with relentless, restless, manic energy, without so much as the relief of distraction from the picture on the tiny hospital TV because I didn't have my glasses, was excruciating in ways I still have trouble coming to terms with. I watched a lot of basketball, I think, by the squeaky sounds of the shoes.

After being assaulted by a frustrated nurse on New Year's Eve, I laid in my hospital bed wishing for the release of sleep while hospital staff hooted and hollered distantly for the ball drop. 2021 had begun and I was in the darkest place I had ever been.

When I could eat by myself again and manageably push around a walker, I was discharged on a rainy January day. No one could say for sure why my strange, temporary paralysis happened. Could have been the benzos I had taken too many of. Could have been the adjustment to the Lithium that would chase away the mania. Most likely, it was the sloppy transition off of Effexor at the first psych ward.

I was finally back in my burning building. I was fired from my job as soon as I had the strength to hold a phone. I had to explain and apologize to friends and family who were stunned and afraid of my actions. And then January 6th happened. In a few days, I would have to start physical therapy and a Partial Hospitalization Program (group therapy school).

I looked at my disintegrating surroundings and thought they expect me to fight for this? Why? I wished I had been successful in my attempt but I had only succeeded in making my life harder.

I guess those who cheered me on could see the possibility of my happiness and success, but I had a lot of trouble catching a glimpse. I went to another psych ward at the beginning of 2022 and ended up in a residential care facility for Halloween and Thanksgiving that year. I had two different jobs, both I ended up quitting for treatment. I tried group therapy and different therapists. I switched medications countless times and even tried Ketamine therapy for a while. Up until April of 2023 (when I started EMDR) or so, it really all felt hopeless, but for some reason, I fought for the unknowable just beyond the horizon. I kept asking for help.

And now I am here, and I can't believe all of this almost didn't happen.

I look around my office and see pieces of art I would have never created. I would have missed concerts and weddings and road trips. There is so much music I would have never listened to! I would have never rediscovered my childhood passions and learned how to be myself. I would never have met some very important people in my life.

It almost never happened, but I was given a second chance.

I have so many feelings right now, some good, some bad. I am excited. I am anxious. I wonder if I can handle the challenge and I fear my bragging or arrogance. But the biggest feeling is my desire to go back in time and hold a version of myself that couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and kept walking anyway.

Now we get to chase our dreams, and teach other people to hold on like you did.

[tavyliasin]

Beta Reading FanFiction - A Guide for Readers and Writers!

Let's just start this off right away - hi there fic writers who prefer to "no beta we die like [character]"! I used to be a lot like you, but then I found that when I struggled or didn't know what to do in a piece, or my confidence in it waned entirely, the one thing that saved the fic and helped it to reach its full potential was a trusty Beta Reader or two! So, this guide will be aimed at both writers themselves and Beta Readers, and of course those who are interested in becoming both/either and want to get more of a feel for what to expect and how to be more helpful to one another with Beta Reading and editing works. Let's begin, shall we? I'll pop up a header for each section to make it easier to go over as well~

Why Use Beta Readers?

When we're writing a piece, it is very easy to get into the flow and overlook minor mistakes. Also, when we know our story inside and out, we might be forgetting to explain a plot point or set it up properly for the payoff later, and sometimes we might even be overexplaining something that is better left to the space between the lines to let the reader get a feel for it without holding their hand to every realisation. The point is, we can be too close to our works. Fresh eyes and opinions can see things that we couldn't, and a good Beta can also give you confidence back and motivation if you're struggling with block or losing faith in your style/story/ability.

Why not rely on Google/Spellcheck? Grammarly?

The automatic tools in most programs won't always pick things up that you need them to, like maybe you used the same word 3 times in one paragraph. To a reader that'll sound off, it'll break the flow, but a spell checker won't notice it at all. Sometimes, too, automated tools can make entirely incorrect suggestions. I have had them try to suggest I change words that were used and spelled perfectly into other words that did not fit the context or purpose in the slightest. No, google, they purred in her ear, not pureed. They didn't pull out a blender from nowhere... These automated tools - and particularly things like Grammarly - are also no good at all for things like style or speech patterns. They might be wonderful for professional emails or checking over an essay, but when it comes to creative writing they tend to fall far short of the mark.

How do I find Beta Readers?

Sometimes you might find willing Beta Readers amongst your audience, other times you may well need to look further afield. One method can be looking at creative communities and fandom communities for the fandom/characters you're writing about. Another could be offering a beta-swap with another writer so you help check each others' works over.

How do I offer to Beta Read or find works needing checks?

You could approach a writer directly if you want to, but you will likely find that offering to beta read for people will quickly bring up those who are looking for them. There might be fic and writing communities specifically looking for beta readers to help out. There's more often a shortage of feedback than there is a shortage of works that need it! I do, however, recommend that you keep a list of "red light topics" with your offers. Let people know the things you are not willing/able to read. Almost everyone has content types they're not comfortable engaging with for any number of reasons - you don't have to explain why, just be honest and say "I am not able to beta read works containing topics x, y, and z." Anyone demanding you give them your reasoning for not wanting to read those topics does not deserve the answer. Boundaries are there to be respected and keep us all safe.

How does it work? What do I need to set up first?

One of the easiest ways to comment and give feedback is by using Google Docs. Those of you familiar with GDocs, or those not interested in using them, can feel free to skip ahead to the next section now! When using google docs, if you are reading and commenting on peoples' works and your legal name is connected to your google email account, it is worth considering a secondary email account and google profile under your username/pseudonym to maintain your anonymity and comfort. I do this myself, I have a separate email I use for fic writing (which also helps keep my Google Drive neater!) and open the windows with the different accounts.

The black arrow there shows the profile icon that brings up this menu, then you can click the Add option at the bottom to have a new profile in your browser. I find it also helps to use the settings to colour code them, so while my main email ID uses a black colour scheme and window border, for this account I have purple. That way I know which account I'm in when I open a document to read it for someone, and keep my main email and ID separated.

When sharing your document, you'll need to decide on the level of privacy. Generally with fic I will use the option for "anyone with the link can comment" and share the link in specific discord servers with beta readers, or in other cases send it privately via DM. The upside of this is it is easy to use, and you do not need to manually approve access for anyone offering reads. The sharing menu is on the top right of your doc, and it will bring up this window for you. The first open box will allow you to type in specific email addresses to give access only to those people (see further down). Otherwise, clicking where it says restricted gives you the option to change to "Anyone with the link", after which you can select whether people with that link can view, comment on, or edit the document. It's important to note that if you give someone editor access, they can change the document without you approving or denying changes. Commenter access still allows for changes to be suggested, but you will ultimately have to approve them for the main document to change. More examples of that later! And as the title may suggest, the Viewer access will not allow the reader to make any suggestions on the work at all.

If you keep with restricted and enter an email address, it will give you a new window where you can choose the access level, decide if the added people should receive an email notifying them of access, and add in a message that will go with that email if it is selected.

What If I Do Not Use Google Docs?

Whilst GDocs is a commonly used standard, and relatively user friendly, not everyone may feel comfortable with the way it works particularly with email addresses. It's up to you what other systems you might like to use, but ideally your reader should be able to access at least a copy of the document that they are able to edit and/or annotate. Make sure that the format you use is compatible for your reader, and it is likely a good idea to save another copy of your original unedited work in case you want to compare the suggested changes to your original.

What you should let your Beta Reader know, or what a reader can ask the Writer before reading

First things are the obvious ones for writers - the word count of your piece, a brief synopsis including characters involved, and if there is a deadline for receiving the feedback. Prospective beta readers can give an idea of the maximum length of work they are willing to go over as well as an estimate of how long it will take to get through it with feedback. This helps you to both know what the expectations are and can alleviate the anxiety of "I haven't heard back from the beta read yet, is it because the work is that bad?" The most important thing though is to let your Beta Reader know what CWs and TWs are present in your work. It's not good for anyone to expose them to triggers and content they can't handle without warning! If you haven't worked out your list of CWs yet, then you need to be up front in this and find a reader who is either fine with reading without CWs, or who can tell you their "no read" list of topics so you can know if you included any of those that they wish to avoid. If you are a reader offering your services, it can help to keep your list of topics, characters, and tropes that you are not comfortable reading about. You don't have to push yourself to engage with triggering content just to help someone out, even if they're you're very best friend in the world. Your boundaries and comfort matter. After that's out of the way, you need to think about what you do and don't want out of the beta reading. Are you looking for detailed notes on the pacing and characterisations? Is there a segment you are unsure on that you'd like to change? Or do you just need a quick pass to make sure there's no obvious mistakes or continuity errors? If a beta reader knows what to look for - and sometimes more importantly what not to look for - it can help them as they go over your work. If you are a reader and the writer hasn't given you specific guidance, don't be afraid to ask them what they need to know. The kinds of things that people tend to want feedback on might be: - Overall plot. Is it enjoyable? Are there any weak points? - Continuity. Are there any mistakes or inconsistencies? - Spelling and grammar. Particularly for those writing in a secondary language, this could be something they would like particular attention on. Others may feel they don't want their grammar "corrected" if they have a specific style that they like writing with. - Character voices. Do the characters act and sound true to how they should in canon/headcanon? - Specific sections. That bit in the fifth paragraph, does it make sense? Was the opening strong enough to catch interest? - Length and pacing. Did the story and action progress in a satisfying way? Is the piece too long or short? - CWs and Tags. Do the listed tags and CWs cover everything? Are there any things that have been missed out, or any things that are listed but aren't present in the fic? - Readability. Is it clear what's happening even to someone for whom English is a secondary language? This is where having Beta readers with English as a secondary language can be really helpful, because some things might not quite feel the same to some of those readers in your audience too so adjusting them helps widen your appeal.

How To Present Feedback

A lot of feedback is easier to give in the document itself. With Google Docs comment mode, you can highlight individual lines to add a comment, or you can even make in-line editing suggestions.

If you're suggesting a small change like punctuation or grammar, it can be best to do these as in-line edits that can be accepted or rejected by the owner of the document quickly and easily.

Bigger changes like suggesting rewording a full line, or fixing continuity details, are better done as comments which can facilitate a back and forth discussion on how to handle the editing and solution to it. It's also easier to look at the change compared to the original this way, as in-line editing for longer sentences can take up a lot of space. As you can see in the top image, a lot of these longer suggestions will look less clear, but the bottom allows for more of a back and forth to develop the editing.

You might also want to leave some overall feedback, a summary of your interpretation of the work as well as the continuity, content, and anything else that the author was looking for.

It's good to make sure you have some positive as well as the changes needed to polish up the piece, and when suggesting changes try to keep them as open suggestions that the author can choose to work with or not, rather than presenting them as imperative. Keep in mind that sharing "unfinished" work can be really daunting, especially for a newer writer! We all benefit from some confidence boosts, and that helps us achieve the pinnacle of what we're able to accomplish in our works too. People don't tend to learn and improve if their passion is drained away by negative feedback. Remember your role as a Beta Reader is to encourage and support, to enable the writer to make the little changes to their piece that will help their story shine to its full potential!

What Should You Not Say In Beta Feedback

With the last part above in mind, the biggest thing is to not try to take over the writer's vision for their story and characters. Present your ideas as options the writer can choose to use or not, and remember it is their work at the end of the day.

A big thing here is never leave only negative feedback, that's an obvious one. But also please never leave a work without any feedback at all - if you feel like you're not able to give the work its due, for any reason whatsoever, please tell the writer so they know not to wait for your feedback. It can be so draining to have no response and wonder if it's because the work is so bad that the Beta Reader started but didn't want to continue. It is perfectly fine to tell a writer you can't continue, just do so with care! Either "unfortunately I no longer have the free time to beta this piece, but I wish you all the best with it", or "sadly there are things in this work that I'm not comfortable with reading, so I hope you are able to find someone who might be better suited to works containing [cw or trope]" and let them know it is not an issue of the piece's quality but instead is a personal thing unrelated to their skill as a writer. You are under no obligation to give free beta feedback on a work that makes you uncomfortable, or if other things take priority - it's a free favour we give to our fellow creatives, an offer to help, not a paid role or obligation.

Also do keep in mind what the writer has requested from the Beta Read - if they don't want lore accuracy info then it's not helpful to comment on the misuse of a spell or the wrong year referenced. Look at what the writer needs from you, and try to fill that for them!

What is useful feedback?

Useful feedback would be things we can build on, suggestions that keep to the spirit of the piece and the mood the writer is aiming for. If a sentence doesn't flow well, try to pinpoint why, and even better give a couple of options of how to rework it if you can. It doesn't help to say "this paragraph doesn't really work for me" but it is helpful to say "the pacing in this paragraph isn't quite flowing with the rest of the piece, it might help to...[either add a suggestion or two, or suggest reworking it on a basis of pacing]" When suggesting a change, it helps to mention why that change is being suggested. Particularly if someone uses English as a secondary language, they might not realise that the way they've ordered words doesn't quite work for English, or that a particular word doesn't work in the context that they're using it in. Beta feedback can be a powerful learning tool in improving future works, and it's easier to learn when there's a reasoning behind it~

What if the writer rejects the suggestion?

That's ok! Remember that it isn't a reflection on your ideas or your ability as a beta reader - at the end of the day, the story belongs to the writer and it is up to them what they would like to do with it. There may be things they agree with, but equally there could be times that the suggestions don't work for what they're aiming for. Try not to take anything personally, your job is there to help suggest, not to take over the editing in full.

What if I'm not happy with the feedback from my Beta Reader?

Beta readers are there to give you suggestions, not orders, and it is completely ok to discuss the options or just reject the changes. You're the author of your work, and it's up to you to know what you're happy with. It can help to listen to outside opinions, but at the end of the day that is all they are - opinions, and those can differ between people a lot! Because of this it can help to have a second (or more) Beta look over your work and give an alternative opinion. Sometimes that might mean they agree with previous feedback, catch something the other person missed, or they might agree with your idea rather than the other reader. Either way, having that second opinion can help you feel confident in your decisions by knowing you have more of a range of views.

Should I credit my Beta Readers?

That's up to you and your Betas what you're comfortable with! Sometimes people put up a general "thanks to my beta readers" in the notes, or other times if both parties agree then a writer can tag or name Beta Readers in the notes as thanks. That's up to the writer and reader, and we shouldn't be offering our services only in hopes of being credited visibly on works.

But it is generally good practice to at least verbally thank your beta readers for their hard work - after all, they've done this for free and helped you out! Swapping beta readings can be a great way to feel like an even trade of your time and energy, and could even form a strong working relationship together if you find you are compatible with content and feedback!

So, What Now?

If you have any questions, or indeed comments about things I've missed or things you feel I may be wrong about, please do let me know in comments! I'm more than happy to edit this blog piece to help as a guide for my own creative cabal of fic writers as well as something that can be more widely used by those who aren't sure about becoming a beta reader or finding them~

Happy writing, everyone! May your works reach their full potential and truly shine~

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hey, how are you doing? How was coming back to work?

If I can be curious, let me ask you this super hard (or maybe simple, it depends), question: who's your favorite character and why? Also, which one do you find the most easy to understand/write?

Have a nice day my friend, cheers 😊

@dolceaspidenera hi! I'm so happy to hear from you! ^.^

And ooh, those are good questions. I won't answer them completely, but I will give you honest answers ^.^ I apologize in advance for what turned into a character analysis mini-essay XD

I do have a favorite character of the M6, but I prefer not to write like it on this blog. I think it's awesome when fan creators focus on their favorite characters - it means that everything they make is done out of love! - and it's almost something you'd expect in a dating sim fandom when you have to choose one specific character to experience most of the story with. I initially chose not to do that just because I genuinely enjoy writing for connections with all of the M6, even if there's very few that I would want a specifically romantic connection with. Every single one of them are characters that I'd be happy to get to know, as a lover, or an honorary sibling, or a close friend.

The longer I write like that, the happier I am that I do. It means I've explored aspects of the world of the Arcana that I wouldn't have initially been invested in, but that have contributed so much to the story! It also means that I get to chat with people who have so many different perspectives on the game because of their own preferences, and I've learned a lot from them!

As to who is more or less easy to write - that changes based on the prompt. For example, prompts that reference pre-prologue Vesuvia are a lot harder to write with Portia, simply because she didn't arrive there until after Lucio's "death" and because the game doesn't really delve into the life she's had there since. And the hardest prompts for me to write in general are for MC with specific familiars, only because those are characters I haven't read about XD

There are also themes I wish I could explore more, sometimes, for all the M6, but doing so would require so much speculation that it would be hard to keep the headcanons feeling "canon." Julian's life before Vesuvia, for example - he's been knocking all around the world since his teens, and of the two or so decades that that comprises, he's only spent a few years of that in Vesuvia. He glamorizes his adventures when he talks about them, but nobody in their late teens acts as a medic on a battlefield for their apprenticeship without taking away some kind of baggage. When does he break down without dramatics or smokescreens? When does he learn to talk about a painful past without trying to redirect his hurt into drama? When does he learn the healthy kind of selfishness that lets him be completely honest?

Asra's so emotionally private it's hard to get a read on them sometimes. We know they're deeply in love with MC and that that's been a shaping influence on them for the last nine years - but what else? There's so much about him that aches to be known, which he frequently tells MC in his route, but he still treats his relationship with them like it's fragile and new. What happens when things are more settled and they know MC isn't at constant risk of falling apart? Did they ever feel betrayed by MC for not leaving Vesuvia with them? Did they ever feel resentful of MC for causing that much relational pain, or at the very least, for holding them in a full-time caregiving role for three years? When does he learn to depend on them to the point of exposing them to his own ugly thoughts and feelings?

Nadia, for all of her capacity, is still very emotionally young. She's just beginning to process her feelings regarding her own family, which stem from her childhood and were never addressed directly until they were invited to the Masquerade. She has a deep-seated lack of faith in her own strengths, which MC has had the chance to help her overcome, but that attitude has been affecting her perception of other people's opinions of her for most of her life. At what point does she learn how to interpret someone's concern for her as something other than belittlement? At what point does she learn how to recognize and apologize for her own mistakes in a relationship without experiencing it as self-rejection? At what point does she learn to recognize someone else's strength without comparing it to her own and feeling challenged if she doesn't measure up?

Muriel's especially hard to predict physically. He has a whole host of reasons to feel the way he does about his body in relation to himself and others. It could be easy to say that, as he heals in his relationship with MC, he learns to enjoy and seek out physical pleasure as he overcomes trauma (in multiple ways, like food, and comfort, and intimacy). But when it does come to physical intimacy, Muriel is so easily read as demi/asexual that his interest in that aspect of a relationship doesn't really act as a good benchmark for healing. Maybe his aversion to touch is only trauma-related, and underneath that gruffness is a pent-up, touch-starved lover. Maybe he stays consistently disinterested in that kind of physical pleasure, simply because that's the way he is - and there is nothing wrong with that. But we don't know how that progresses.

So much of Portia's life is missing. We don't know much of what her life was like before she came to Vesuvia after Lucio's "death", and we honestly don't know much of what it was like after. We know that she's friends with all the palace employees and that she has a close connection with Nadia, and that's it. It's hard to know how she fits into a post-canon community because she remains so detached from the other M5 throughout her story. Most of what we know of her life with MC afterwards is that she spends a lot of it on a ship. She's the kind of person who thrives in building and maintaining community, and yet we have so few clues about what that looks like. Does she become like family with the sailors, assuming that the ship keeps the same crew? Does her new status give her a peer-based relationship with Nadia? Does she try to keep Julian in her life, or do they drift apart again? Does she eventually create a new home base in a different country?

And, well, I've already a written a whole character analysis of Lucio. We know that he's determined to become an honest man, but we don't know how that plays out. Does he get tired? Does he find a stopping point at "morally gray"? Does he stick it out and become one of the most emotionally healthy characters? Does he ever settle down somewhere else and build a life there? Does he stay in touch, or reconnect with anyone from Vesuvia and build a new friendship with them?

Anyways, those are some of the rabbit trails I let my brain loose on sometimes, and those are a lot of the character aspects I have a harder time writing for because it's so open-ended. Maybe another creator will read this and have answers I don't yet XD

Thanks for your questions, friend, I hope you don't mind my mini-essay!

brainrot

[wannaeatramyeon]

hihi!! i thought this was funny and wanted to tell you😭

i was telling my friend about Goo and how i would absolutely marry him and they said that he needs their blessing. i asked what he can do to get their blessing and they said he needed to write them an essay about how much he loves me so, to entertain them, i wrote them an essay from Goo's perspective about why he wants to marry me with a 20 minute timer. it was 584 words in the end and I worked a miracle.

Moral of the story: Goo got the blessing😭so uhhh you can always write your way into someones life??

This tickled me, just imagining the unhinged ramblings from Goo POV mixed with your own. Drop it please.

Inbox clearing time! Non fic requests answered: 6. (Check it - plus my fave Lookism arcs!)

To the non-anon anon that I have not included and I don't know what to do with your message - No, I won't hold your hand while you poop. Good luck with that.

Really?? I feel so... unhinged and nonsensical (even more so than usual) when I rant. Seriously thank you for reading!?!!?

PTJ did somewhat write women with more of a personality in his Life As A Loser Series so it seems more of a shame that he's lost his touch and catering much more towards teenage boys with his current series.

Which. Fine. Action manhwa - great. BUT if your target audience are teenage boys then yknow, wouldn't it be even BETTER to write some strong badass women so these impressionable youngsters realise that not all girls need saving, and oh look. Girls are human too. With their own ambitions and flaws and imperfections, just like everyone else.

If you must make them simp, form a harem. Also. FINE. At least give them something beyond that.

Hey Black Anon! Sorry again for how long it took me to respond to your ask before, and hope it's going much better for yourself since your last request.

I'm muuuuch more responsive with DMs so if you ever wanna come out of anon - come shout at me in my DMs!!

HTF s2 is really... something. Completely lost the meaning of HTF and Viral Hit. Don't blame you for dropping it. Alas, the Taehoon grip on me is still going STRONG.

LOL. Me in a similar position, wondering if I should get into JJK.

Can I... recommend some of my fave arcs if you ever do decide to read Lookism? The ones I like are generally more story driven.

Vasco's backstory (prepare the tissues) - 52 - 57

Johan + Zack + Mira backstory (cult warning, another sad arc) - 132 - 138

Goddog (another pretty sad arc with Johan) - 199 - 213

Jacedichi Files (silly crime solving with Burn Knuckles) - 215 - 218

One Night (Johan + Jace!! Fun action) - 258 - 262

Jake Kim (PLEASE READ THIS IF NOTHING ELSE) - 302 - 318

Workers (2A) (Rescuing Sinu. Honestly, I cry almost every time. Read Jake Kim's arc to appreciate this!) - 372 - 392

Let me know if you ever get into it!!!

Me??? Mine????? I cannot write that guy so thank you - that means A LOT to me! I will try harder to write a decent Eli (that doesn't devolve into ranting about his current direction).

Thank you for reading and being so friggin CUTE!! 💖

I feel a vaguely threatening tone from this.

Like something Goo would recite before walking into a darkened warehouse with a crowbar 🤔

Baby there's nothing noble about this, but it is actually more satisfying than my normal job lol (lolling through tears).

Thank you so much for reading!! My single braincell has been firing quite well with these ideas.

Anon. Honestly this is adorable, I've screenshat this for a pick me up ahhhhhhh 🥹

My dear 🕊️ anon, thank you for reading my DG fic! I also feel very little for DG but I will admit I am coming around to him.

YES!!! I LOVE the idea of someone getting close to James Lee in his younger years, and him being soft for the reader.

And then I also like angst so let's bring those 2 things together. Heh.

Eeeee I also added that Remember fic to my list of faves that I have written.

Please. I also have a list of fictional men I am unwell over. Let's start a support group! 🫠

[dundykelevesconte]

hi teddy <3 arctic sundogs and franklin for the terror ask game :)

hiii ellie!! :D thank you for the ask!! <3 this got kind of long so answers under the cut

arctic - how would you cope on a victorian ship?

honestly a life at sea sounds equal parts ideal and terrifying to me, so any time not spent staring aimlessly into the ocean would DEF be filled with keeping a very detailed diary … i’d be writing down everything. mate i don’t like made a joke today i actually found funny. disgruntled about this. if i were some doomed explorer and they found my journal hundreds of years later with my remains they would be like my god this guy just never shut the hell up did they. reading and writing both i think is what would distract me the most

sundogs - talk about a moment in the show that interests you most

ohh gosh i could talk about SO many but the first one that comes to mind is hodgson’s papist church monologue in ep9. he’s been on my mind a lot lately and i paid quite close attention to him my recent watch through and he stands out to me more so than some of the other characters because he’s a character who doesn’t speak an incredible amount throughout the series (despite being terror’s certified yapper) but almost everything he says is actually really telling about his character. we learn he plays an instrument at home, in his final scene he speaks some french, and just about every instance in which he talks it’s almost like he’s doing so through a direct window to and from his humanity (asking hickey “who” the meat he offers him is, visibly upset to learn what became of neptune). then we get to this scene that comes after he’s partaken in cannibalism, a scene that (to me at least) seems kind of out of nowhere especially being not directly at the end of the episode, but somehow it still fits in perfectly. we come to the crux of hodgson’s characterization here because he finally gets the chance to speak with no holds barred and he’s very particular with every minute he has to do so. the way he delivers this speech, the slow cadence and tone of his voice and even the subject of it, is just as much for goodsir as it is for himself i think. even when goodsir is pretty much as good as unresponsive he carries on anyway which in and of itself is yet another tell for him. we get an idea of his own sense of self here too (“i was frightened for them. i was told they were doing some great, unforgivable thing” “i felt forgiven of every poor, weak, or selfish thing within my soul” “i pretended to be ill. they knew i was pretending. to this day i don’t know why i did it” “if i were a braver man… i would kill mr. hickey, though it would mean my death, too” and of COURSE “i am hungry and i want to live”) like this is just such a RICH source of characterization for a character we’ve really only seen glimpses of up until this point when it all comes to a head when he gets his own little arc re: his involvement with the mutineers (which is a whole other can of worms i could talk about forever LOL). ntm the monologue itself is just so beautifully written, the delivery is of course on point but the words themselves and the picture they paint are so visceral and moving. sorry for the essay HAHA i’m just very very interested in hodgson as a character and this fleeting moment we have alone with him is just so endlessly compelling to me. especially when you factor in that he’s been steadily consuming lead for years now and has ended up on the wrong side of what remains of their crew but still he takes this moment to be so unashamedly human regardless. anyway ……..

franklin - who’s an underrated character in your opinion?

SILNA. NO QUESTION i do feel obligated to give a cold boy answer as well though in which case i will say dundy. not only is he criminally underrated but also criminally underUSED being that he’s a very close friend to fitzjames from the beginning and is quickly the only remaining lieutenant on erebus i just feel like there’s so much there they could have explored in terms of his and even fitzjames’ characterization were it not for his curse as a minor side character … whatever. i’ll write The Dundy Show if nobody else will