#also this took forever to do. not kidding
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rotagnus · 10 hours ago
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pieces of comfort for u. | 🐠
hiii guys 🧍‍♀️sorry for not posting for a while. i haven't been doing so well so i took an unannounced break. i hope that all of you have been doing well! i feel like so much changed ever since my last post on here, and i hope that you guys have had more abundance in your arms since then. this post will give you some reassurance that you desperately need :). don't worry, i haven't forgotten the eyecontactship reading...sorry to all those who were waiting.
pile 1.
receive, the hermit, trust, sanctuary, the initiation.
you guys are the most suspicious people i've ever heard of oh dear lord. you prefer to stay away from everyone and never be open, at all. even when you tell yourself you are, you're just giving people a facade that illustrates the exact opposite of who you are inside, and everybody sees it but you. i just got the image of a kid sitting alone in my head while everyone else plays. you guys have deep-rooted wounds lingering in you, the fear of being alone a big one--truly alone. which is why you make sure people stay by giving them a surface-level version of you because you believe that the true version of you is 'too much' or 'too hard' to love, which only attracts people who want you for SURFACE-LEVE things, because you never ever open up truly. shame, because deep inside, you're fucking gorgeous. holy.
for now, your blessing is that you'll be able to let go of that desire to control how people view you. you're in the midst of a process that'll change you and your view of the world forever; for now, seek some guidance from any mentor figure you have...deities, parents, teachers, older figures. you need some reassurance, so don't be scared to ask for it. i promise you...i think all of you are scared that no one will ever love you the way you love, and that's not true. there are. there are people like that. friends, lovers, other figures. they exist. but you need to blossom and open before that comes. your comfort is that you'll get all of those people, but first, my love, you must break this old layer of skin and let your true, colorful self, shine. change is coming.
pile 2.
hope, prosperity, leap, healer.
ahhhh my intuitive pile, but blessed to always know the right thing but never believe it. head bowed down, ready to give your power so easily without expecting it back. why do none of you have boundaries? i know this is about comfort buttt...point is, the comfort that's coming is that you will learn to set boundaries. unfortunately i feel like a lot of you tend to attract people who seep off of your energy, and it's NEVER the people you expect. stop idealizing people who have done you wrong and get them out because there are people who would do ANYTHING for you (not in the freaky obsessive way, but in the gentle, loving way. you guys feel like you're drowning because you can't leave...but it also doesn't feel right to stay.
honey, you'll leave. i know you, right now, don't feel like this is possible, but it is. you'll leave and you'll feel so blessed and free and all that weight you've been carrying on your back will go away. you'll realize how you gave away those beautiful pieces of yourself too easily, and you'll be rewarded with more opportunities that give you the same energy BACK. you guys are the kind of people who feel bad for others with bad paths but...those people have the power to heal, as you do. and guess what, you healed!! if they didn't, you're not their mother. don't try to fix them. it's not more heroic. you guys will learn that lesson, and better things will come to you.
pile 3.
death, scorpions, awareness, cycles.
a lot of you guys have just finished a cycle that left you windblown, feeling empty. this emptiness will not last forever. think about planting flowers; first, you must clear the soil of debris, then put the seed in. and honey, you bet it takes time to grow. just because it's underground doesn't mean nothing's happening. a lot of you feel extremely self-conscious, for your physical body, your mistakes, your actions, literally everything. maybe it feels like you're in some twisted, sick reality show. baby, you gotta take a deep breath. i can feel your anxiety through this reading, and i promise you, things aren't as bad as they seem. some of you have severe sleep deprivation and knotted muscles so i highly recommend doing some stretches or taking a nap.
this pile is my pile that became mature wayyy quickly. way way WAY. so right now, do yourself a favor. be kinder to yourself. do the things you always wanted to do, dress like you wanted to. yknow? visit those places. this rebirth happened because you were out of alignment and were willing to take what you're given and settle just like that instead of pushing for what you truly deserve. me and you both know you guys have a heart of gold and would gladly let people step all over you just to keep the peace, but you guys truly do deserve better. the world is telling you to fight for it, but before this? rest. things that you want are coming, as long as you don't fill that void in you with mere distractions.
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imsogonesposts · 1 day ago
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Young, Drunk, and Alone
|| ao3 || haymitch masterlist || an: based on the song dial drunk by noah kahn (feat. post malone) ||
summary: Haymitch drinks to will the bad memories away as you pay him a visit. (wc: 807)
warnings: very angsty, no sotr spoilers!!
It had been years since Haymitch had won the Hunger Games, and years since President Snow had killed you in consequence of him breaking the Games. 
He never used to drink before winning the games, he always found the taste of alcohol to be too bitter for his liking, but after he won the games and lost everyone he ever loved in consequence, he found drinking to be his only form of escape. Not only because it helped to fog out all the bad memories he wanted to rid himself of, but also because some nights, if he was lucky, he could see visions of you. 
Haymitch had promised himself years ago to forget you to help lessen the pain that filled his body, but the heart and mind don’t always work together as he liked. While his mind willed you away, his heart couldn’t help but to miss you, to yearn for you. 
It was the night before the 55th Hunger Games, the gloomy, rainy weather outside mirroring how he felt inside. Another year of sending kids off to their deaths, another year of drinking his birthday away, another year of spending his birthday without you, or his ma, or brother, or anyone else that really mattered. 
He downed another bottle of alcohol as he tried to will the bad memories away. The memories of those he killed, their eyes staring into him as he sat cold and alone in his home in the Victor’s Village. No neighbors to keep him company, no friends after he shooed them all away, no family, no you, nothing. 
It was nights like these, every night really, that Haymitch wished things could have ended differently. Maybe if he didn’t win the games, everyone he cared for would still be alive. Maybe if he was never picked for the games in the first place, he could still be with you, his family would still be okay, and he’d still have friends to rely on. 
He remembers when he had first heard the news of your passing so shortly after his mother and brother’s. He remembers the last thing his friend Burdock had asked him before Haymitch pushed him away from his life forever, it was safer to keep those close far away from him. 
“Haymitch, are you a danger to yourself?”
He downed another bottle of beer. 
“Why do you do this to yourself?” You asked, or the vision of you that lived in his head did. You were sitting across from him, looking at him with nothing but worry and concern in your eyes.
Haymitch only shrugged as he took another swig of the bitter drink. 
“Can’t help it,” he slurred out, eyes trained on you, they always were whenever you paid him visits like that, so if one day you’d stopped, he could still remember what you looked like. He hoped you wouldn’t ever stop paying him visits, even if sometimes the visits were more painful than anything. 
“Those kids need you tomorrow,” you quietly reminded him. 
Haymitch only shrugged again. 
“Do you really think any of those kids deserve a life like this? Young, drunk, cold, alone?”
“You’re not alone,” you reply with a look of sorrow in your eyes. 
Haymitch only scoffed, muttering out a small “it should’ve been me.”
He always did that, say he should’ve been the one to die rather than you, rather than his ma or brother or any of the other forty-seven tributes that went into those games with him. 
“Don’t,” you chastised, “don’t say that.”
He took another swig. 
“It’s true, bet none of you would be drinking your life away.”
“Bet none of us would have tried to start a rebellion,” you retort. “The kids tomorrow need you, everyone needs you, Haymitch. You’re the one who can change things.”
He only sighed, taking one final swig of the beer before closing the bottle and setting it aside. 
“You have too much faith in me,” he replied through a sigh. 
“It’s cause I love you.”
God, did Haymitch miss hearing those words fall from your mouth. 
“I love you too,” he quietly replied as his eyes were now trained from you to the ground, trying to will away any tears that threatened to spill, not that there was really anyone there to see them. 
The last thing he felt before blacking out, the only real sleep he’s been able to get these past few years, was your soft hand touching his, comforting him in his sleep. 
He might not be in as much danger now as he was in the arena, though that is largely debatable, your comforting presence watching over him was all Haymitch needed to finally drift off to sleep. Even if you weren’t truly here, he felt safest with you by his side. He always did, always would. 
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sharksfrommars · 3 days ago
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Hi👋🏻
For your asylum ford au, I was wondering how shermie handled ford being released into his care (as in his reaction) and also how he tries to help ford when bill takes over. Does he let it run its course or like TACKLE him to the floor or something💀💀 Also, does shermie feel safe when ford is like that (possessed/ tormented by bill)? I am beyond OBSESSED w this au and check DAILY for new posts about it 🛐🛐🛐
Ur so sweet, anon! Glad you enjoy it! I wrote a LOT more than I expected for this so I hope you enjoy.
——
Shermie was actively fighting for Ford to be released to him. He didn’t trust the asylums, especially not the first one they sent him to. It was actively something he wanted. It wouldn’t have been realistic for Ford to stay with him at first, since he had a young child. But that didn’t stop him from constantly fighting for Ford to get better treatment. Ford spent time in 3 different mental institutions over the 30 years.
The first asylum was in Oregon, where Ford was sent by the state. It wasn’t great, was incredibly understaffed, and lacked resources. It wasn’t helped by the fact that it was run by a shady government organisation who may or may not have been performing highly unethical experiments on the patients. All the staff there hated him, and Ford was generally uncooperative.
About 5 years later, Shermie managed to get Ford transferred to an asylum just outside of San Francisco. It was built to treat violent criminals, but they had much better funding. There was one therapist that Ford kind of got along with, which was quite frankly, a miracle. Shermie didn’t like his brother being treated like a criminal, but he was glad that Ford could get actual treatment. Still, it wasn’t amazing.
Ford stayed there until 1998. By the end, they were allowing him weekends outside the facility when he was doing well. Shermie really appreciated it. After that, Ford was released to Shermie’s care. Shermie’s son had just gotten married, so Ford took his room. Things went well for about a week.
until Bill decided to pop in. Ford still had regular hallucinations, general emotional instability, and total breaks from reality (gifts from Bill). Shermie was expecting this. It was in Ford’s release papers. But he hadn’t been expecting Ford to smash every plate in the house, carve triangles into the walls, and perform blood rituals in the middle of the night. The drugs they gave Ford were expensive, and getting less affective by the day. Still, it was manageable. Keep Ford away from sharp objects, make sure to give him plastic dishes and cutlery, have him sleep in a sleeping bag. A lot of the things Bill did to Ford during this time was more silly in nature. Ford has a number of embarrassing tattoos from bill taking the body on joyrides. He made food taste horrible. Made him extra sensitive to temperature changes. Shermie didn’t believe that Bill was real. The asylum had told him that “bill” was a manifestation of Ford’s trauma, likely relating to his father.
Then the twins were born. Ford was immediately smitten. He realised he couldn’t let Bill hurt these kids. He had managed to keep Bill from doing any major harm to others for at least 5 years, but he could tell his current meds weren’t going to keep him at bay forever. One day, Bill would figure a way to fully possess him again. He couldn’t let him in his head ever again. Not when these kids were at risk.
Ford started falling back into old habits. Not sleeping, being constantly suspicious, almost afraid, of people. Barely leaving the house. Shermie was getting worried.
then one day, Shermie and his wife came home to find Ford on the bathroom floor, bleeding from the head. His scalp was half detached, and he had a circular saw in his hand. Ford tried to put a metal plate in his head. By himself. He fainted from blood-loss and shock before he managed to get any further, thank goodness.
After that, Shermie talked to Ford about getting mental help again. Ford was resistant to the idea, naturally, but eventually relented once he realised how hard it was for Shermie to keep looking after him. He didn’t want to be a burden. So Ford was voluntarily institutionalised. Shermie found the best mental hospital they could afford. It was a nice place and they specialised in the difficult cases, like Ford’s. It also helped that Ford actually tried, rather than just putting up with it.
Ford started improving substantially. He got different meds, that kept bill out of everything but his dreams. His councillor didn’t outright dismiss bill either, which led to him coming out about the abuse he faced at Bill’s hands. Of course, the councillor didn’t believe that Bill was actually a dream demon, but that didn’t matter so much. It was a turning point, one that led to Ford actually processing the things he had been through. Ford’s councillor had suggested that Ford may have been in an extremely abusive relationship that somehow his mind was actively repressing and replacing with a triangle. Ford knew that bill was actually a dream demon, but it felt nice having someone validate his experiences, rather than tell him that it was all in his head.
Ford got better, a lot. He became an outpatient at the mental hospital, and was allowed to stay with Shermie. This time, it was mostly calm. Of course there were difficulties; Bill had messed with Ford’s mind to an irrecoverable extent. But Ford kept getting better, and Shermie was just happy to have his brother with him.
but as Ford’s mental health improved, he would find himself drifting. He was a lot better at telling reality from hallucinations these days, having learned methods of living with them. He has gaps in his memory, times where he didn’t feel real, none more so than the portal. These days, Ford wasn’t sure there was an actual portal. But he believed Stan was alive. And there was no where else he could be.
Ford wanted to go to gravity falls first to confirm one way or the other. But it was real. And that meant Stan was in there. And even though it had been so long, Ford couldn’t leave him.
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kaysfanficcorner · 3 days ago
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Out of this World Chapter 13: You Remind Me of the Babe
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Pairing: Din Djarin x Female Earthling Reader/OC
Summary: The Mandalorian and the Earthling take the child to the forest planet of Corvus in search of Bo-Katan's Jedi ally.
Author's Note: Holy moly. This chapter was a DOOZY. It took me over a month but this thing finally made itself clear to me. When I tell you, dear reader, that there were SO MANY REWRITES. So many edits. So many conversations with my best friend. April 2025 was consumed by this chapter. Any moment to myself was spent thinking about it. This chapter is so very important to me, and so integral to this story. This one is a bit of an emotional roller coaster, and it may be the longest chapter of this story to date. Like all the chapters thus far I poured my heart and soul into it, but this one is special. I certainly wasn't going to post it until I was truly happy with the final draft, but now that I am happy with it I am also so thrilled to share it with you. I hope that you enjoy and I hope that the blood sweat and tears that went into this make for some good fanfic reading.
Mando'a: Di’kut - idiot, useless individual, waste of space Di'kutla - useless, worthless, stupid adika - little one cyar'ika - darling cyare - beloved ner - my verd - warrior ratiin - always ner burc'ya - my friend ni kar'taylir darasuum - I will know you forever (I love you)
Warnings: Cursing, violence, death, major character has a panic attack, vague conversation about religion, bastardization of canon events, I take some... liberties with the Force, fluff, lots of feelings from everyone, a reference to Labyrinth if you squint. I know that Labyrinth can't exist without Star Wars, but I wanted to use it anyway regardless of the fact that Earthling's Earth has no Star Wars... just go with it.
As always, strictly 18+, minors DNI
AO3
*****
The road to Corvus proves to be long and depressing, taking a few of the bleakest weeks you've experienced on the Razor Crest thus far. Moving about the ship feels completely miserable and it’s taking everything you’ve got to hold yourself together for the sake of your loved ones. But with each day that passes as your mobile home stretches across hyperspace, your ability to do so feels more waning than the last. Even that one spell when you and Din had been quietly mad at one another for several days felt like a nice family road trip compared to this. Instead of being mad at each other, however, this time the two of you are just equally trudging though the murkiness of one another's misery.
You haven't been sleeping well. When you do manage to get some rest it's back to being without your cosmic companion squished against you, which is likely contributing to the problem in the first place. Din's simply been too antsy to be cramped up in that tiny sleeping cabin with anyone besides himself, and he's told you as much multiple times. In your bones you know that when he does try, he can’t sleep either. He hasn’t complained about it outright, but the sound of his restlessness is obvious in the constant weariness which has chosen to settle in his voice as of late. It sounds as if everything in him has been worn so thin that he’s working with only useless shreds of himself. You can tell that he tries his best to sound normal in front of the kid, but when it’s just the two of you speaking you hear the torment in your love’s sullen tones. 
“I can't relax enough to fall into real sleep,” he’ll respond in that same dejected manner when you ask him to join you in bed, “I fear I will just keep you awake with my constant fidgeting. It feels like I can't breathe in there.”
At this point you've ceased pestering him about coming to bed all together. The last few times the urge has bubbled up your throat you’ve shoved it back down, tired of that little pang of disappointment you feel each time he refuses. You're desperately missing the feeling of his strong body snugly flush with yours, wanting your own sense of comfort and security back at such a tough time like this.
Din does, however, make himself comfortable on the floor just outside the cot every night, listening as you read The Ruins of the Exiled to the kid. He hasn't missed a bedtime yet. It's the one genuinely nice and lighthearted part of the day for either of you. You'll be curled up in that poor excuse for a bed with the child in your lap, and your Mandalorian will be at the mouth with a bare hand reaching in to stroke your leg or caress your foot. It's comforting for you to have that touch from him in those moments. He's clearly using it as a way to communicate to you that he is trying his best to be present even if it's incredibly difficult for him to articulate that right now. Until this miserable trip is over and done with, it's the best you can hope to get from him.
It's after one of these reading sessions when you find yourself curled up in the cot thinking about possible outcomes for the future. Above you the child sleeps soundly in his hammock. Looking around the dimly lit sleeping cabin and trying to imagine how empty it will feel without the little one’s snores dangling over you, a sharp sting to your heart causes that thought to quickly dissipate. Instead, in an attempt to pull yourself from the pit of despair’s tempting edge, the image in your mind is replaced with a wildly contrasting scene. 
One of a child’s bedroom, decorated and filled with things only a child could want. The warmth of a real home, not a nook on a cold spaceship. Much as you love the Razor Crest, you're aware that it cannot sustain a full life. 
That image warms you for a moment, until everything around you is unexpectedly in disarray. Somewhere in the midst of all this contemplating the ship has suddenly dropped from hyperspace. Without warning, the world as you know it is violently lurching forward. With a frightful little squeal the kid comes falling out of his hammock and into your arms, and frightful noise of your own escapes your throat as the both of you tumble out of the cot all together. The pain in your right ass cheek feels like it's going to bruise from the way you land, but thankfully the kid is unscathed as you cradle protectively against your chest.
“Ugh, what the hell was that?” You ask yourself curiously before holding the child out to examine him, fingers brushing his forehead gently after he shakes his ears out like a dog drying its wet fur. “You okay, sweetie?”
The kid blinks up at you a few times, nodding and giving the 'thumbs up' gesture you've recently been teaching him for yes and no responses. Your heart soars a little at the sight of his two little fingers curling into a fist, noting that it's the first time he's flashed his 'thumb' without your prompting.
“What about our Mandalorian, I wonder?” A frown creases your facial features, asking the child this rhetorical question with worry in your tone. Then you move to get up, rushing over to the ladder. With your free hand cupped to the side of your mouth, you're calling up, “Din?! Is everything alright?!”
When an answer does not immediately follow you look down at the kid with even more worry knitting your brow. “What do you think that was all about, buddy?”
The kid coos and shrugs in response. You make quick but careful work of climbing up just enough to shove the kid onto the ground up there so that you may safely climb the rest of the rungs yourself. Once on the Crest's second floor you're scooping the child into your arms again, pressing the button for the cockpit door to make your way inside.
Din is in his seat facing towards you but he does not look up when the door opens. He's hunched forward, elbows balanced on his plated thighs. The silver of his beskar helmet is encased with the brown leather of his gloves, the orange tips of his splayed fingers pressing into the visor and forehead.
You hear him cursing in Mando'a under his shallow breath. Barely audible, the hiss of the modulator every few words is giving him away more than anything. The stars sit eerily still behind him. It dawns on you then that the ship has not only dropped out of hyperspace but is also completely sedentary.
“Din? What the hell happened to the ship? Are we okay?”
Din doesn't move, nor does he answer you. The string of Mando'a curses and phrases you don't understand continues to spew from his hidden mouth, the very sound of it sending jolts of anxiety through you. He's really starting to freak you out, having never acted like this before. You’ve seen him on edge plenty of times but this feels worryingly different. This is fucking unnerving . Moisture begins to spread through your palms, and the knot in your belly is dangerously close to becoming a deep pit.
Voice wavering, you ask him, “More importantly, are you okay, ner verd? ” Using the pet name you’ve adopted for him recently, you're attempting to pull him from what seems to you like some new form of panic attack.
Din has his special, lovely names for you which you cherish so much. So naturally you'd been wanting something personal to call him in return. Going through most of the ones common on Earth, none of those ever felt right to you. It seems wrong to call a Mandalorian 'honey' or 'baby'. Just doesn't sit well on your tongue. Then one day when you were practicing Mando'a the word for warrior came up. That's when the light-bulb appeared above your head. Din Djarin is your warrior. What could be more fitting than calling him just that in the tongue of his people? Laying half naked with him on the cockpit floor one night, you let the name slip from your tongue and it stuck the landing, so ner verd he quickly became.
Mindlessly, you're reaching for your warrior now, the gesture innocent enough, without considering his possible sensitivity around personal space at a time like this. It's a force of habit to touch him when he's feeling emotional, as he usually welcomes the physical attention. Your once touch starved lover usually acts as if he needs to feel the touch of your flesh against his more than he needs food or water. 
Which is why you truly don’t expect Din's entire body to react to your oncoming fingers, jerking back against the dark red leather of the pilot's seat as he hisses, “ Don't touch me! ” He says it so sharply, almost as if he thinks that when you touch him one or both of you will burst into flame. Clutching the armrests of his seat, he shakes his helmeted head fiercely back and forth. “I am not worthy of that name. I am not worthy of anything . Di’kut! Di’kut! Di’kut! Ni di’kutla!”
The child's ears cast downwards and he makes a fluttering little noise of distress. You're flinching backwards too, putting a decent amount of distance between Din and the two of you. Moving over to the kid’s seat, you gently sit the foundling down with a kiss to the top of his head before turning back to face Din.
Hearing him say those things about himself, to call himself something like an idiot or a worthless waste of space in Mando’a, is completely discombobulating. 
It feels like you’re not even looking at the man you consider to be your warrior right now. He looks like someone else, body moving in frantic ways so alien that your heart fills to the brim with fear at the sight of it. This is the man you rely on, the man who both protects you and teaches you to protect yourself. The man who makes you laugh without even trying and makes you cum at the drop of a hat. The man you’re certain you want to spend the rest of your life with. Face or no face. Green Bean or no Green Bean. Up until this moment you were so fucking sure that Din Djarin is it for you. Is that surety faltering? 
No, certainly not. This may be the most he’s ever freaked you out, but that doesn't change the fact that you’d be lost without him. The only sure thing you see when you attempt to glimpse far enough in the future for your hair to be gray and your skin to have sagged is a beskar helmet by your side and a tan, wrinkled hand tangled in yours.
With a steadying breath, you remind yourself that Din Djarin is it for you. He’s the one and only. The person you intend to be with for as long as humanly possible. Din’s helped you through so many emotional ups and downs since the two of you met, and perhaps there have been times that he was just as frightened as you are now. Lord knows he’s seen you in similar states of distress.
Normally he’s the one who’s level headed, or has everything figured out. On the surface at least. It’s only really apparent to you at this moment that perhaps your warrior has only had things half figured out. He’s a natural leader, but that doesn’t mean he’s always in the headspace to lead. 
Feeling determined to show him the same amount of trust and respect he usually displays for you, some of that fearful urge to flee gets pushed to the side. 
Stepping forward slightly, careful not to get too close, you finally say to him, “Whatever happened to the ship sure scared the hell out of Green Bean and I. We got thrown out of the cot.”
His head finally snaps up at that, his voice tenderly asking, “Are either of you hurt?” The worry in his tone is so severe, causing your heart to surge with worry for him.
“No, we're fine. Shaken up if anything,” you reassure him evenly, “It’s you I’m concerned for.” Then your brow furrows, disquiet riding your tone, “Din, please talk to me. What's going on? Are we in danger or not?”
“We're not in danger. I-I dropped us from hyperspace on purpose,” he responds, visor clearly avoiding your gaze as he hesitates.
Springing from a furrowed position up towards your hairline, your brow continues to move along with your emotions. This time there's a surprised tone riding your voice, “I thought we still had like seven hours to Corvus?”
“We do. I... I don't know what came over me. I was sitting up here thinking about everything. Thinking about him ,” Din gestures towards the kid, and you notice his hand is trembling. Then he adds, “And then all the sudden hyperspace sounded so damn loud. Like a sharp painful dinging, as if the natural volume of the world increased out of nowhere. The noise of it made my chest hurt and my skin crawl. I needed it to stop. Needed everything to stop.”
 “So you stopped the ship cause you needed everything to stop?” you ask tentatively.
He nods, “Still do. Even my own voice sounds like it's screaming at me right now. Yours too, and those noises the kid's making. Shit. It hurts . I've never felt this before.”
“You’re very overwhelmed. Sounds like an anxiety attack,” you say quietly, “and a bad one at that.”
“I don’t know about that, but I do know that I am not fit to carry on. I can’t do this anymore, cyar’ika.” After that his breathing becomes shallow again and he barely sounds like himself as he frantically mutters, “ I can't do this. I am a poor example of a Mandalorian. My beskar should be melted down and donated to those in need. Those with more honor than myself.”
Your chest begins to seize up a little with a mini anxiety attack of your own, your already weakened sense of security beginning to crumble under the weight of this sudden shift in your surroundings. “Din, you’re scaring the shit out of me right now. You don’t sound like the man I know under that beskar. Nothing’s more terrifying to me than seeing you like this.”
“I don’t know who the man under this beskar is anymore. Maybe I never knew.” The way his head tilts up to look at you as he says that, shoulders as slumped as they ever have been, makes you feel both beaten down and desperate to get this situation under control.
“Listen to me,” with your hands out in defense, you murmur, “I'm not gonna touch you. Promise. Do you want me to go back downstairs and leave you alone for a little bit?”
With a sharp intake of breath he quickly shakes his silver head, “ No. I do not wish to be alone. I... I need you,” he says your name, the cadence of it strained.
Nodding, you ask, “Can I sit on the floor here in front of you, then?”
“Yes.”
“Do you need me to get you anything?”
“No.”
“Okay. I'm here for you. I’m freaked out and I’m worried about you but I’m here . I’m not going anywhere unless one of us needs space.”
“I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. I shouldn’t have yelled.”
Moving slowly so as not to upset him, you lower down and cross your legs in front of you, sitting with your back straight and your hands on your knees much like in yoga. Looking up at him, you gently pat the area on the dark metal ground in front of you, beckoning him down to your level. You’re determined to get your guy to come back to you, even if for but a moment.
Then your face muscles strain as you try to send him an understanding smile, hoping he can read your expression and feel safe as you address his apology, “I'm not worried about that right now but thank you for apologizing. I know you didn't mean it. Do you think you can try breathing with me to get your rhythm back to normal? That shallow breathing you're doing is actually making the anxiety worse. I learned about this in therapy. Your thinking brain needs all the oxygen it can get right now. One trick to snap out of it is to do some breathing exercises to relax your nervous system. The idea is to make your brain realize you're safe in order to stop using the fight or flight response. I’m anxious too, and I think we need to calm down enough to really talk.”
Wordlessly and unceremoniously, Din slides forward from the pilot's seat and lands with a dense thud on the floor, moving to get into the same seated position as you. After a moment his head tilts up so his visor can finally meet your eyes.
Slowly, in and out through your nose, you take a few deep breaths and he audibly begins to mimic you. Gently, you explain, “What I want you to do is inhale for a count of four, hold it in for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, and then hold for another count of four. Then you do it all over again. We will do this for as long as you need to, but after a few rounds your body should start to relax. Feel free to close your eyes.”
Din nods, and for the first time since the day you first met him, his stiff and stoic beskar face suddenly has you completely thrown off your game. At an emotionally critical moment like this, seeing his real facial expression would help in so many ways. Without it you're not sure if you know how to gauge when the anxiety attack is ebbing away or how bad he truly is feeling. You want to feel certain that it's pretty fucking bad, though you're not sure if trusting your intuition is enough in this situation. You've become fluent in the body language of Din Djarin but, as you told him, you've never seen him like this before. These are uncharted waters, and it would certainly be a bit of a life raft to be able to look at him right now.
But would actually seeing his anguish truly help? Or would that just unnerve you even more? Would seeing real pain in those mythical brown eyes you try to imagine from time to time break your heart in a brand new way? Is your heart strong enough to withstand what something like that might look like? 
Suddenly the barrier of beskar between the two of you feels like a brick wall, and you’re scared shitless when you look at him. 
Ignoring yourself, the very notion of that feeling like a betrayal, you begin breathing with the box technique and he soon follows along fairly in tandem. Eyes slipping closed, your own body begins to relax into the feeling of it despite this being the most unrelaxed you think you could possibly feel. 
After about eight or so rounds, Din's voice breaks through the uneasy silence which envelopes the cockpit, “That helped. Thank you. I feel a little more like myself now. Embarrassed, perhaps, but me again.”
Prying your eyes open, you see his body in a more relaxed position with his helmet's visor fixed right on you. You’re still feeling unnerved when you look at him, but you try your best to maintain the offered ‘eye contact’. “You're welcome. You sound a little more like yourself, but I’m still very worried about you right now, Din. I know you're not okay.”
He chuckles, the eerie sound of it devoid of any humor, “No, I am very much not.” Then his head shifts as his gaze moves to where the kid sits off to the side, and suddenly the low rumble below his chest plate is flooded with genuine humorous energy. “Look at our foundling, cyar'ika.”
Din’s sudden shift in mood has you on edge, hating the feeling of him reminding you of your past. One minute this to one minute that is what your home felt like growing up. Feeling that with Din now makes your heart sink a little, but logically you understand that though this may not be normal behavior for Din Djarin it is normal behavior for any human being going through something substantial. 
Calming yourself with that knowledge, your gaze follows his. Head turning to see the child sitting crisscrossed just like you and Din, you truly cannot fight the little smile tugging at your mouth. The kid looks so mellow, big eyelids closed with his little hands at his knees as his ears lay in a relaxed position. From the looks of it he's fallen into a deep meditation, which isn't something new for him. He does it from time to time, and you’ve always assumed it has something to do with his powers.
Chuckling along with your cosmic companion, you momentarily gush, “God, he's so cute. He's the cutest kid in the whole universe. Not a single human baby holds a candle to our little guy.”
Din makes a choked noise, his visor still fixed upon the child. “I love him,” he says your name after this statement, the cadence of it so desperate as it rides the saddened tone of his voice. Then the kid's eyes pry open and he looks right at Din, who says directly to the child, “Maker forgive me. I love you so much, pal.”
Tears well in your eyes at that, unable to hold back the little quiver of your lip. “I know you do. I could see how much you love him the moment I met you both on Nevarro. I mean, I called you his dad that evening because it just always felt true. You love him as you would a child of your own, and that's obvious to just about everybody you meet.”
Din responds with a shaky voice, looking back at you, “He's felt like my child from the moment I first laid eyes on him. I can't explain it. That pram opened and I just felt connected to him for some reason. I tried to fight that feeling off, explain it away. Tried to tell myself the kid was not my problem just because I was the one who found him. But I think we both know how good I am at ignoring my feelings,” he says this last part sarcastically, with another humorless chuckle.
The self-deprecating way he says that causes you to frown, groaning a little in frustration. “I’m so tired of watching you beat yourself up over loving someone. Have you ever stopped to think that trying to ignore these feelings doesn't work because it's not natural to push it all away? I understand why you were so cautious of getting emotions too wrapped up in this, but I think that ship sailed a long time ago. Long before I came along.”
Silver pauldrons drooping as his shoulders slump, Din sighs, “I suppose you're right.”
A moment of silence falls between you and then you speak up again, “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes, love,” he replies. 
Eyes narrowing slightly, you ask, “What was the plan for after you dropped out of hyperspace?”
He looks away, “I thought about changing our trajectory to somewhere else all together.”
With a surprised expression, you’re aware that you sound a little sarcastic, “Did you have a place in mind for this grand escape?”
“I don’t know. I do not know what I was thinking,” Din replies, then looks back at you for a long moment as he ‘eyes’ you up and down. “I am surprised that you're not encouraging me to do so anyway, though.”
With a raised eyebrow, you shoot him a very irritated look. “As the one who is strongly against this little trip to Corvus I do understand why you would say that, but I'm kind of offended that you assume I'd so readily encourage you to go against your creed.”
Din sighs, “I think a part of me is hoping you will convince me to.”
Now both of your eyebrows raise at that, a small amount of anger rising up your throat to meet your words. “ Wow . Is this why you called yourself a poor example of a Mandalorian?”
His head hangs, “Yes. I feel ashamed to wear this beskar for even thinking about going against the creed, so perhaps deep down the idea of you making that choice for me feels alluring.”
With a deep and pissed off frown, you find yourself doing one of the rarest things you’ve ever done to Din Djarin. You are scowling at the man, tongue razor sharp, “Are you fucking serious , Din? Do you know how fucking unfair that is? Making the choice for you is probably the craziest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I am not proud of the impulse,” he says defensively. 
“So?" you bite back, "It still makes me feel so frustrated with you! I thought that you were braver than that, Din Djarin. My warrior, ner verd , is not a coward. Not the Mandalorian I know.”
“What is it that you mean to imply?” Din’s own ice cold frustration is now lacing his tone, replacing the hopelessness that had been there a moment ago. 
“ I’m not implying anything. I’m just angry at you for putting that kind of weight on me when you know very damn well that I would have stopped this wild goose chase months ago given the chance. If I could have things my why we would have never left Nevarro after that beautiful week we spent together. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to hear you imply that you would just stop if I really tried to convince you? To imply that it would have been so easy this whole time? It feels like a betrayal of the trust I’ve extended to you when I have actively put your feelings about this above my own for months.”
Din’s voice waivers, anger still riding the tone of it despite the little falter you hear, “I never asked you to put my feelings above your own.”
Throwing your hands up in frustration, you're trying not to yell at him even though you want to. “You didn’t have to, dammit! I did that because I care about you. It’s wrong of you to hope I will suddenly become the selfish one so that you don’t have to be. I would never encourage you to make a decision that I think you would ultimately regret. If I acted on those feelings I would be acting against you .” As you pronounce that final syllable, the weight of it causes your eyes to mist over.
He sighs heavily, some of the tenseness ebbing away, “I can see that what I said was out of line. For that I apologize. But it’s how I feel, cyar’ika. It’s how I’ve been feeling for days.” 
With a heavy sigh of your own, you feel your nerves relax slightly. You’re upset, but fundamentally it's with this situation more than it is with him. Aside from snipping, which you’re also entirely guilty of when in distress, he hasn’t truly committed any wrongs against you. 
“I get that. I really do,” you eventually reply, “I was just taken aback. Even if I thought that begging you was an option, I would not humiliate myself by acting so childish about this. A person who acts on emotional impulses like that isn’t fit to be caring for a kid in the first place. I’m not going to say I feel like I can be a mother if I’m not actually mature enough to be one.”
Din sounds like he’s starting to truly feel embarrassed, "I shouldn’t have placed that pressure on you. I do not wish to disobey the creed, tempting as it may feel. It was a moment of weakness and I am not proud of it.”
Moving so that your legs are spread, you gesture for him to come sit so that you can hold him. Din scoots over, and the mass of him with all of his armor settles in between your knees before he's leaning back into you. He's laying with most of his body across the floor, but his upper back is against your stomach and his helmet rests against your breasts. With your arms coming to circle around his broad shoulders and hands resting on his chest plate, you lean in to place your right cheek against the cool beskar.
“Din Djarin, you do know that your dedication to your creed is one of the many reasons I admire you, right?”
“You've made comments as to that, yes,” he agrees, “but I still do not fully understand why.”
Settling in, you reply, “I wasn’t religious on Earth. My family tried to force their beliefs onto me as a kid but I never believed in their false values. You see, their religion’s message claims to be all about love thy neighbor and good will towards others, but then a lot of the people meant to be spreading these values are filled with so much hate. People like my grandmother, who claim to uphold their principles with grace and yet treat those who do not meet their expectations with a foul ugliness. You are the complete opposite of that to me. Even when you've had to kill because the nature of this lifestyle requires you to do so, I've never sensed real hatred or ugliness in you or your ideals. Ideals that, in all honesty, certainly line up very closely with my own. Loyalty, honor, family. For you, the creed is just about who you are as an individual, and if you're upholding your own values or not. You're not concerned with others' values unless it's someone close to you, and even then I don't mean that you're pushy about it. I just mean you're careful about who you let in.”
“Mm,” he hums in agreement, “that observation of me is sound.”
Hugging him tightly, your words flow freely, “The creed is so fascinating to me. Firstly, because it has nothing to do with worshiping a deity. Secondly, because you have never once tried to force anything you believe onto me. Thirdly, because watching you stay true to yourself even through all of this heartache has been both hard and beautiful. I wish you could see yourself from my perspective. You're a beautiful person, Din. You're strong, devoted, fucking hilarious, and the best partner I could ask for. I’ve never known anyone like you, and I mean that in the best way.”
“I appreciate that,” Din says quietly, “I appreciate everything you have to say.”
You're kissing the back of his helmeted head, breath from your nostrils fogging the cool surface as little warm lip marks pepper beskar. “You owe it to yourself, to the Mandalorian I know you are, to see this mission through to the end. I've come this far with you. I will go with you wherever we must go next. But we've gotten way too close to turn around now. Green Bean deserves to make his choice and you deserve to maintain your sense of honor. It breaks my heart every second of the day, but we have to carry on. We have to see this through as a family, even if we can’t be a permanent one.”
Din brings your hand up and presses it to where his lips are beneath the beskar, a kissing noise coming from within its confines as your flesh meets the cool glass-like material of the visor’s bottom half. “We will always be a family, even if we are not all together. Thank you for keeping me steady,” he says.
“Ratiin, ner burc'ya. Ni kar'taylir darasuum.”
“Ni kar'taylir darasuum. I fear I would be lost without you if I had to do this by myself.”
The two of you lay there for a long moment but when the kid rustles around and makes a chirping noise, you both begin to stir. Din gets up to his feet and offers you a hand. He uses it to help you up from the ground, pulling you into him for a proper hug once you're on your feet.
“I was waiting for the right occasion to give you something,” you say up to him cryptically, “and I think right now is the right occasion.”
“Mm?” Din hums curiously, tone much lighter than it had been when you first entered the cockpit.
Detaching yourself from Din, you move to lift up the child from his seat and dump him into Din's arms. Turning on your heel, you leave to climb back down to the first floor of the ship. “Stay up here for a sec,” you're calling after him as you run off through the open door.
*****
“You know what this is about, buddy?” Din asks the child in his arms, looking down into his large brown eyes. That fearful ache inside him from before is very much still present, just under control for the time being. He feels so grateful for your presence in his life right now, unsure of how he would be handling what just happened on his own. He's certainly felt anxiety before, but this ‘attack’ as you called it was frighteningly new for him. And an attack is very much how he would describe it if he had to. It came at him both from nowhere and everywhere, surrounding him. Besting him instantly.
It may be his most harrowing battle to date.
The child happily coos, and Din can't help but chuckle in spite of the heaviness within his chest, “Of course you do, don't you?” Brow furrowing beneath the beskar, Din adds, “I meant what I said, adika. I love you very much. It was wrong of me to consider abandoning this mission for selfish reasons. She's right, you deserve to choose your own fate.”
The kid nods, babbling his private little language up to Din as he makes a face Din cannot quite distinguish. The Mandalorian's heart both swells and breaks simultaneously.
Suddenly you’re rushing back into the cockpit looking delighted, and his curiosity is even more piqued. Din wasn’t sure what he’d expected when you’d run off, but he certainly wasn’t expecting you to place a tiny holoprojector into his gloved hand.
“What is this?” He asks curiously, turning the little black cube over a few times before looking at you. The thing seems like a very basic version of the same tech he's used in the past.
“A holoprojector,” you answer with excitement guiding your every movement, bouncing on the balls of your feet one foot at a time.
“I know that,” Din replies with a hidden smile, “I meant to ask what's on it. Usually these are round and a little bigger. Meant for sending and receiving images. I take it this thing lacks transmission capabilities and doesn't have a lot of space for much?”
“Just enough space for one hologram,” you agree, grabbing the device to turn it on before giving it back to him. “I bought this the same day I bought the reader pad. The kid and I wanted to give you a gift. You do so much for us. I thought it would be nice to show our appreciation. Some shop was offering what I, a mere Earthling, would describe as a photo shoot and this thing for a decent enough price. Green Bean and I love you so much, Din. No matter what happens on Corvus, we'd like you to always have a reminder of that to keep with you.”
Din's heart flutters when a grainy three-dimensional blue image of you posing with the child in your arms comes to life in his palm. The image is from the waist up. You look radiantly beautiful, giving your best smile. Your planet necklace from Smuggler's Moon is on display at the base of your throat, just above the loose round shirt collar. The kid looks so happy, dark eyes shining along with his wide grin and his ears pointed upwards. Both of your heads are titled in towards one another.
Chest swelling so greatly that he fears the chest plate of his armor may crack, Din feels himself swaying a little from the intensity of it. The kid squirms around in Din's grasp so that he's standing on Din's inner forearm, tiny arms splaying out as he puts all of his weight into gripping Din's upper chest in a big hug.
Cursing the fact that he's covered in so much beskar he cannot feel the pressure of the tiny foundling's embrace, Din sucks in a sharp breath. Almost knowingly, you move forward to gently take the holoprojector from him. At that moment Din has both arms around the child and he's tilting the helmet down to graze the foundling's wrinkled green head, silent tears flowing freely from his weary brown eyes.
*****
Corvus is gross. That's really the only way you can put it. According to Din, this planet was once beautiful. Industrial pollution and devastation have ruined most of the forest surrounding the small city of Calodan. The air is thick with a greenish smog which you can practically taste as soon as you're off the Razor Crest. Din landed the ship outside of the city limits far enough away for some privacy from the locals, so it's a short trek through desiccated woodlands to reach Calodan’s unwelcoming looking gates.
The city itself seems like a hell hole. Din keeps the kid somewhat hidden behind his cloak, the child riding in the satchel at Din's hip so you can both be on high alert. You're armed and ready, but for what you have no idea.
Upon getting let in by some sketchy looking mercenary named Lang, you and Din make your way through a city both in despair and disrepair. Its locals seem utterly petrified of everything, including Din when he tries to approach a family outside of their home. The reaction of the father is so intense, a lump forms in your throat after that.
You see why the citizens live in fear when the Magistrate's lackeys have you and Din dragged to her ridiculously lavish garden. On the way into her domain, you pass by a group of locals being kept like animals in the most inhumane electric cages you've ever seen. It's so horrifying to watch that you have to look away, and you can tell that the kid is equally disturbed at Din's hip. You would have preferred for him not to have seen that.
Once inside the obscenely contrast garden, you quickly realize that the woman Din is dealing with is pure evil. So you stay quiet and allow him to conduct his business with her. When she brings up needing help eliminating the Jedi who plagues her, your stomach drops. The vile lady brings Din a spear made of pure beskar, offering it to him as payment if he were to hunt and kill this Jedi for her.
Din wisely doesn't respond to this bargain, but leaves her unpleasant company in a way which suggests that he is going to take the job. You know Din well enough to know that he wants nothing to do with that woman, but he'd needed to get all of you out of there without making a fuss.
At the edge of the city, Lang looks down at the child on Din's hip with a curious sneer, “What is that thing anyway?”
The child glares at him and gurgles angrily.
“I keep it with me for good luck,” Din quips back, sounding both sarcastic and like he'd like to rip this obnoxious guy's head off.
You'd certainly like to do that yourself after hearing him refer to the kid as 'that thing'. The little glare the child sends up his way is definitely not lost on you, a smirk finding the corner of your mouth. Atta boy, kiddo.
As Din gestures for you to keep walking, the nasty little man shouts after your party, “You're gonna need it where you're headed!”
Trudging through the ruined wasteland of a forest, you're staying mostly quiet at Din's side while he navigates. For one thing, everything about being on this planet has you feeling miserable. Polluted, gray-green air. A woodland that must have once been beautiful is now infected by greed and capitalism. Innocent citizens being treated like meat in those awful cages. A Magistrate who clearly needs to meet her comeuppance sooner rather than later. That village is an awful feeling place and you hope to never have any reason to go back. Being there is like an exaggerated version of all the worst things about Earth.
On top of all of this, a Jedi seems to be just around the corner. Every step further into the forest feels like a step further away from your family, and that feeling has you completely cornered at the moment.
Din must notice your silence, because he looks over his shoulder at you in a gesture which you read as curious but with a splash of worry. “You're uncharacteristically quiet, love,” he observes.
“I just hate this planet,” you respond honestly, “being here is unpleasant for a multitude of reasons.”
“I relate to that senti-,” Din begins but is quickly cut off by an attack from above.
You can only watch in stunned horror as an alien woman suddenly appears out of thin air, two swords made of glowing beams of light striking directly into Din's armor. His beskar blocks the attack easily, but now a fight is abruptly breaking out between your cosmic companion and some stranger. A stranger you are willing to bet is the Jedi your party is reluctantly looking for. She's undeniably beautiful, and perhaps the most interesting alien species you've encountered thus far. Almost like a twi’lek in the sense that she has fleshy protuberances in lue of hair, but she’s also completely unique in every way.
Flamethrowers and whipchords are expertly used on her by your warrior, but the woman easily gets out of these attacks by moving her body with the same sort of ease and grace as Jupiter. The cat-like movements are certainly impressive, but worry for Din is your only concern right now. 
After flipping over a branch she draws her light-swords again, and Din suddenly stops fighting with his arms raised in the air.
“Ahsoka Tano!” Din shouts with a blaster in one hand, the other hand held out in a surrendering motion. At the sound of her own name, the woman halts. Din quickly adds, “Bo-Katan sent me! We need to talk.”
The Jedi woman's gaze finally moves past Din and lands upon the child in your arms. Slowly, she moves to a normal standing position and disables her swords. It looks as if the light gets sucked up into the hilt. She then tilts her fleshy head curiously, sounding almost delighted in a way, “I hope it's about him .”
*****
“Your pacing has me on edge,” your voice quietly slices through both the ambient night-sounds of the desiccated forest and the uneasy racing thoughts of an increasingly worried Din Djarin.
Din's feet stop moving for the first time in twenty minutes, and he looks down at you apologetically. “Sorry,” he says quietly, moving to sit down beside you on the long rock you've been perched on.
“No need to be sorry,” you say, shooting what he interprets to be an apologetic look in your own way. “I just needed you to stop for a second.”
So stop he does... until his left knee starts bouncing a mile a minute. Then he feels your right hand come to press into the area of his thigh not covered by beskar. Again, this seems to do the trick of grounding him for only but a moment.
“She hasn't said a word, yet they've been at this for nearly two hours,” Din remarks. “I feel like I'm going crazy .”
“I think she’s communicating with him using the Force,” you say, eyeing him for a moment before looking back over to the Jedi and the kid with an anxious expression. “Can they do that? Is that a Jedi thing?”
Din shrugs in response, at a loss.
You shake your head, “All I know is, I feel incredibly judged whenever she looks over at us like that.”
Din follows your gaze and the scene of the two of them, faces lit by the lantern's soft orange glow with a full moon backdrop behind them, sends a shiver up his spine. Just as you said, Ahsoka looks over at the two of you briefly and Din’s blood runs a little cold. Suddenly all of this feels more real than it did a moment ago, his chest tightening.
After a few more moments of silence, Ahsoka Tano rises from her seat and gathers the child in her arms. As she begins heading back over, Din shoots up from his seat to anxiously meet them halfway. You get up and follow close behind him.
Ahsoka sits the lantern down on a small rock, followed by the kid on a slightly bigger one. She takes a seat to the kid's left and looks up at the two of you patiently.
Then she and the kid eye one another for another long moment. A small smile creases her lips and forehead, the white patterns of skin surrounding her clay-tan face altering.
Din feels desperate to know what is going on, asking, “Is he speaking? Do you... understand him?”
Ahsoka looks down at the child, tucking her hands into the pockets of her thick gray poncho. “In a way,” she says evenly. Then she looks up at Din, adding, “Grogu and I can feel each other's thoughts.”
“Grogu?” Both foster parents say this in unison. Din hears you sound just as shocked as he does.
The kid's head whips up at the two of you as little noises erupt from his tiny mouth, big dark eyes crinkling happily.
“Yes,” the Jedi responds, “That is his name.”
Din feels the name out along his tongue once again, a warmth spreading through him as he pronounces the two syllables slowly, “Gro-gu.”
Again, the kid's ear's perk up and his head whips up to look at the person who said his name. His name . Not just 'the kid' anymore. Not Green Bean. Not adika. Grogu .
Din says it once again for good measure, chuckling a little at how happy it makes the child. “I like it. It sounds like you, kid.”
Agreeing from beside Din, you move to squat down and grab for one of the kid’s tiny hands with a loving smile gracing your lips. “I like it too. You have a wonderful name, Grogu. Very handsome and distinguished.”
“What else did you learn about him?” Din asks the Jedi woman.
She takes a controlled breath, that stoic energy of hers unfaltering as she relays the requested information. “He was raised in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant where he was trained by many Jedi Masters. After the Clone Wars, when the Empire rose to power, he was taken from the temple and hidden away. From there his memory becomes... dark. Filled with much fear. That fear only starts to subside when the two of you begin caring for him. Then the fear morphs into something else.” As she says this last sentence, her tone is laced with something Din cannot place.
“Have you met another of his species?” You inquire from Din's side.
“I have only known one other like him. A wise and powerful Jedi known as Grand Master Yoda,” Ahsoka replies, meeting the child's glance when a look of recognition washes over Grogu's face. Did the kid know this grand master?
From there she asks if the child can still wield the Force, to which Din replies to clarify that she indeed means the kid's powers. She explains that the power Din speaks of is being drawn from the Force, which she describes as an energy field created by all living things. The concept of it makes little sense to Din, but many things have made little sense to him ever since Grogu came into his life.
She tells the group that wielding the Force takes a tremendous amount of training and discipline.
Din responds by saying that his task was to bring Grogu to a Jedi.
“The Jedi Order fell a long time ago,” Ahsoka replies.
“So did the Empire yet it's still out there, working in secret. It must be the same for your people,” Din argues, gesturing to the kid as he feels himself getting frustrated. “He needs your help.”
*****
The kid's been looking very tired for the last couple of minutes or so, eyes slipping closed for longer than a blink here and there. When he and Ahsoka clearly share another moment of feeling each other's thoughts, she lets out a long sigh and shakes her head. The look comes off as if she doesn't like or agree with this situation one bit.
Join the club, sister , you can't help but think. Ahsoka's eyes flick to yours the moment the thought leaves your brain, unsettling you more than anything you've seen today. She looks at you as if she heard you think that.
After a moment, she looks away and declares that Grogu should sleep, and that she will test his abilities in the morning.
Din gets up and scoops the child into his arms, nodding down to Ahsoka, “Thank you for speaking with him. We've waited months to know anything about his past.”
“Especially his name,” you interject with a yawn as you stand to join them.
Looking you up and down for a long moment, Ahsoka regards you curiously. “May we speak before you retire?” The Jedi asks, surprising both you and Din as noises of shock manage to escape from you both simultaneously.
Nervously, you ask, “Why do you want to talk to me of all people?”
“A feeling,” she replies simply.
“A feeling about what?” Din asks, tone concerned.
Ahsoka ignores Din's question, continuing to look only at you. “What planet are you from? It is not of this galaxy, is it?”
“No, it's not. Did Grogu tell you that?”
“He didn't have to. I could sense it when we first met. I must ask you, are there force sensitive individuals on your planet?”
“Ha, they wish. Not that I am aware of. From what I understand no one on Earth has special abilities.”
“Not even you? Or someone close to you perhaps?”
“Absolutely no-,” you start to scoff. But a feeling of realization dawns on you, and suddenly you're remembering everything your grandfather told you back on Tatooine. “Actually there is someone. But I don't know if I believe that he's what you would describe as force sensitive.”
“Cyar'ika, do you mean Richard?” Din asks, and you nod at him with a small frown before looking back to Ahsoka.
“The reason I am in this galaxy is because my grandfather built a device which used the energy of a black hole to transport us here from Earth. I don't even truly know how far away we are, I just know it's far . My world does not have the technology for long term space travel like most do here. We are very behind when it comes to that sort of thing. What my grandfather built is completely unorthodox. He shouldn't have even been able to build it in the first place, let alone conceptualize it. But he told me that ever since he was a little boy he's had dreams of this galaxy. Vivid dreams as if he were really here himself. As he got older he began to feel like these were not dreams at all. When compared to how the other people around him dreamed, what was happening to him during sleep each night was not that whatsoever. He felt that he was seeing a window into another part of the universe. One that made more sense to him than the one we came from. Does any of this even make sense?”
“I am following. Please continue,” Ahsoka says kindly, gesturing with a bow of the head.
“He told me that he eventually began to journal every morning to create a faithful record of his nightly visits with as much fine detail as he could remember. Eventually he became a brilliant scientist and a talented engineer. It took decades of his life but he eventually figured out the formula for how to make his machine work using what he learned in his visions. After he came here he learned of the Force and felt that was the explanation for why he dreamed of this place. He feels he is connected to it somehow and it guided his way here, but that's all he's said about it. No powers from what I can tell.”
“And do you agree with this?” Ahsoka asks.
“I honestly didn't know what to think about it when he told me this, but it's just as good an explanation as any I suppose.”
“Have you ever experienced similar dreams?”
“I don't think so, but I don't remember every dream I've had either.”
Ahsoka regards you for a long moment, contemplating. “At the Jedi temple there was speculation of the Force stretching far beyond the reach of just this galaxy. The Force is a part of the entire universe, and therefore the Force is present in the entire universe. The Jedi merely believe that we are the first ones to learn to wield it. It is only logical that early stages of Force sensitivity are beginning to appear on worlds that have no knowledge yet of its existence.”
Din gestures to you as he asks Ahsoka, “So could her grandfather learn to do what you and Grogu can do? We've seen Grogu do things that we cannot explain.”
Ahsoka shakes her head, “One must train to wield the Force from a very young age. If this individual is old enough to be a grandfather then he is too old to learn. And I believe that whatever connection he may have with the Force is not the same as what Grogu or I experience. It may not even be the same as what you experience,” the woman says your name as she addresses you.
“I'm very certain that I have no connection to the Force at all,” you reply confidently.
“Then explain why I can sense you in the way I can sense Grogu,” Ahsoka bites back just as confidently. “I cannot sense your Mandalorian this way. He is there, but his presence in the force is not pulsating like yours is.”
“Pulsating?” With a scoff and a wave of the hand, you readily dismiss her claims, “I can't explain something that isn't true.”
Grogu makes a little noise as if he's hurt by what you're saying, and your head whips over to him in concern.
“Ah,” Ahsoka says with a knowing little smirk, her blue eyes shining, “ there it is.”
“There what is?” you reply defensively, thinking idly in the back of your head that you're starting to sound like Din.
“You could feel Grogu just now, couldn't you?” The Jedi asks, her expression knowing.
“When he got upset? I could tell, yes. I'm his caregiver and I have been for months. I can tell lots of things about him. It's not the Force. It's because I've gotten to know who he is as a developing person.” As you finish this you’re shaking your head.
Ahsoka is shaking her own head in the negative, “He got upset because he doesn't want you to dismiss this connection to the Force as it is also a part of your connection to him . You merely need to learn to understand it. Not to wield it, as I do not think it is like something to be wielded, but to fully understand it.”
“What are you saying?”
“Have you always been able to sense the feelings of others?”
“I... I don't know how to answer that.” Thinking back to your childhood, you could always tell when your parents were about to get into a big fight. Anytime their emotions were heightened it felt as if the house was crashing down around you from the pressure of it. You'd just grown to assume that their volatile relationship forced you to become very good at reading the room to avoid any second hand abuse. Perhaps this trait followed you into adulthood, but it's never been something you stopped to consider until now.
Ahsoka’s eyes narrow slightly, as if she’s trying to figure you out. “Do you feel it took you a long time to get to know Grogu? To understand his needs accurately?”
Shrugging, you answer, “I suppose not. He and I were on the same page almost immediately.”
Ahsoka turns her attention to Din, “Do you feel this observation is correct?”
He nods, looking back and forth between both women, “I recall being surprised by how quickly they bonded, but I equated it to her natural maternal instincts.”
“Yeah, I just always assumed it was because of that too,” you agree, brow furrowing as you consider the possibilities of what Ahsoka is implying. “Even with other kids I've watched I just felt like I always knew exactly what they needed from me. But with Green Bea-shoot, I mean Grogu , it definitely feels like our connection is stronger than any I've shared with another child.”
“Another indication,” Ahsoka says, “That name you called him when you had nothing else. Do you not agree that the cadence of it sounds similar? It even begins with the same sound.”
Now you're really scoffing at the Jedi woman, “Oh don't be ridiculous. I call him that because he's green and it was a cute little nickname.”
Grogu again seems distressed, and both women stop to look at him for a moment.
Ahsoka meets your eyes as she goes on, “Or perhaps it is subconsciously what your brain conjured when Grogu wanted to share his name with you? He showed me the memory. He was trying very hard to communicate with you that day, and he used a great deal of his power to try and make you feel his name.”
“I... Are you serious?” You're dumbfounded as you glance at the child again.
“Very,” she replies evenly. 
Looking at Grogu, mouth slightly agape, you cannot quite believe what you are being told. “Well I got close, sweetie,” you tell him with a shaky little laugh, halfhearted smile trying its best to reach your eyes. This revelation has you feeling exhausted suddenly.
“And what of you two?” Ahsoka is looking between you and Din with a curious expression.
“What do you mean to imply?” Din asks, voice on the edge of being defensive as he comes to stand closer to you.
Considering the possibilities of this, your body sinks back down onto a rock, facial muscles going slack with shock. “I think she means did any of this play a factor in how we ended up romantically entangled. I worry the answer is yes now that I really think about it.”
“Grogu told me that your Mandalorian will not remove his helmet in front of another living being, including you,” the Jedi says to you, and then to Din, “A Child of the Watch, I believe?”
Frowning, your voice drops a little, “And you feel that I have been able to sense his feelings this whole time and that is why we are close regardless of that factor?”
“It certainly couldn't have hurt,” Ahsoka replies knowingly, and you cannot help but sense that she is purposefully trying to get you to feel that knowing glance. Not to just see it and interpret it. The fact that you even understand that from her is a little mind boggling.
Could this truly be something that you've never known about yourself? Would this explain odd things from your past? Could this actually be real?
“This is a lot to take in,” you say, heavy waves of exhaustion flowing through you. Din's hand is on your shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze, so you reach up and touch the light tips of his gloved fingers.
“As I said, this is not so much an ability you can wield. Think of it as an extension of yourself you did not realize was there. But I understand that this is a bit daunting. We can discuss this further in the morning,” the Jedi says wisely, dipping her head in a kind nod.
*****
On the Razor Crest, the air is so thick with tension that it feels impossible to move through the space comfortably. Once the sleeping kid is tucked away in his little hammock, the two adults take to the second floor of the ship to speak without disturbing him.
Driven to tears, a sob escapes your throat as you throw yourself down in your seat. Drawing your feet up on the leather so that you can hug your knees, you take the opportunity to bury your cries into the meat of your thighs.
As Din makes sure everything looks good on the Crest's controls, he then flops down into the pilot's seat and spins around to face you.
“I'm sorry,” Din says lamely. “I know that this news of Force sensitivity is disconcerting. I want you to know that it makes no difference to me. You know me better than anyone, and if the Force helped that along then all I can do is thank it.”
“I appreciate you saying that, Din. But it's not just that. The Force thing I can deal with, if I even believe it. Which is something I'm still trying to figure out. It's Grogu , Din. I don't want to say goodbye to him tomorrow.” After you say this, another great sob escapes you and you're forced to muffle it in your thighs again, body quaking.
He sighs, “I feel responsible for this misery.”
“It is not your fault. I broke the number one rule in any caregiver job. I became too emotionally attached to my client. And my client's dad. Christ, Fran Drescher eat your heart out,” you say this last part with a cynical laugh as you wipe at your nose with your sleeve.
“I'm too tired to handle Earth references right now, cyar'ika,” Din croaks out weakly, slumping down in his seat.
“Humor is my coping mechanism,” you reply with a halfhearted shrug, waving him off. “Just ignore me.”
Din shakes his head fiercely, “Ignoring you would be cruel. I do not wish to be cruel to you when we're both this vulnerable. I already feel responsible enough for your pain and I do not intend to cause any more. I tried not to let things get this far, but admittedly I didn't try very hard. As much as I preached about not playing happy family... about not getting too attached... you know I was just as guilty of doing it myself. I am both weak to my desires and a hypocrite, as it would seem.”
Shaking your own head in the negative, a deep frown creasing your tear-stained face, you counter with, “I don't consider any of the last nine months, nearly ten now, to be 'playing family', Din. What I have with the two of you is the realest thing I've ever felt in my life.”
Din sighs, head dropping, “I misspoke. Perhaps I am the one who should be ignored.”
A sigh of your own falls from your lips, shoulders slumping, “Neither of us is going to be ignored tonight. I feel sensitive so I picked apart your words and that's not fair. For that I'm sorry. We need each other now more than ever.”
“You know that 'playing' is not how I see this. It's just hard to string thoughts together right now.” Then Din's voice waivers, and you can hear that he's fighting weeping when he speaks again. Or did you 'sense' that? “This is probably our last night with him, cyar'ika. The thought of it... I do not think I have felt a pain like this before.” As he says this he begins rubbing the chest plate over his heart.
“It hurts for me that way too. It's like this searing burn. Right here, right?” You point to the area right between your breasts. He nods, and you're really contemplating the possibility that what Ahsoka said about you is true. Are the two of you experiencing similar pain, or does your empathy truly run that deep? What a strange notion. Then you add, “And the pain is draining down into your stomach, making you feel almost nauseous?”
“Something like that, yeah.” Din makes an indistinguishable noise, the helmet looking at you with an energy you don't recognize. It comes off as so defeated, and that's something you cannot abide.
Getting up to move towards him, you're placing a hand on either arm rest as you lean over him a little. “We are strong . We both know how to lose people. But this is hard . Maybe one of the hardest things either of us has ever had to grapple with. It's not going to be easy, but I do think that together you and I can find our way out of how shitty this feels one day. Things can't feel shitty forever. You're worth every ounce of patience I have to give. I hope you'll show me the same in return.”
“I will,” he breathes, modulator hissing.
“I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight, but I say we go get in the cot and just be close to our boy while we still can.”
Din's hands find your waist, gripping slightly as his helmet tips upwards to allow for the visor to meet your eyes. “Before we retire, I need to thank you. I know you do not want any of this to happen, yet you've handled yourself with such grace. Your respect for my creed is, as always, appreciated more than you know. You may not walk the way but you are just as formidable as any Mandalorian woman I've come across, if not more. That warrior’s heart of yours is the strongest muscle in your body, ner cyare.”
Moving so that your forehead softly butts into his for a kiss, tears cannot help but re-form in your eyes as you softly utter the words, “This is The Way.”
The helmet's modulator hisses with the little gasp you hear hitch in his throat, his body reacting along with it. First there's the little flinch of surprise, then his arms swiftly move to envelope your hips and the firm metal of his helmet comes to rest against your abdomen. He squeezes you, and as your hands move to lay upon the silver beskar which clouds your only love's surely anguished face from you, his clearly anguished voice whispers, “This is The Way.”
*****
The next day Ahsoka Tano is waiting outside of the Razor Crest as the three would-be family members emerge. After a restless night, both adults are feeling completely miserable as they greet the Jedi from halfway down the ramp. Grogu seems to be in good enough spirits though, babbling at the Jedi woman as she greets him with a squeeze of the hand and a bow of her head.
“Good morning, Grogu,” she offers warmly to the child in Din's arms, a smile finding her intensely blue eyes. Then those eyes move to the two adults, nodding in greeting. “I trust neither of you slept well by the looks of it.”
“How could you guess?” You reply sarcastically from Din's side.
In a rare moment of understanding your need to lighten the mood, Din says to you in a sarcastic tone of his own, “It's obviously the bags under my eyes.”
At that, you snort loudly, letting out a short bark of a laugh, shoving at his shoulder a little. The kid giggles against Din's chest as the Force of the shove causes Din to rock backwards a bit. He finds himself grinning despite the misery in his heart, and for the first time he really does understand that with you by his side he will eventually overcome this loss. His life will not be without joy, even if it has to be without the child.
The white markings which frame Ahsoka's face alter shape slightly when her brow shoots up, an amused smile finding her lips as she observes the display. After a moment, she beckons the group to follow her deeper into the forest.
Soon back to the area they were in the night before, Ahsoka leads them over to the mossy rocks and fallen trees. Its bright green color is a stark contrast to the desolation surrounding it, making the patch of land feel oddly beautiful.
Ahsoka turns to face Din, though her attention is on Grogu the whole time as she says, “Now let's see what knowledge is lurking inside that little mind.” With a delicate finger to the kid's nose and then a hand resting on his chest for a moment, the way she smiles down at him indicates to Din that she's communicating with him again.
She separates herself, gesturing for Grogu to be sat down on a large rock. Din obliges, and when he squats to sit Grogu down he rubs his back in an encouraging little gesture of 'you got this, pal' without verbally saying it. Considering everything he learned about the Force the night before, Din feels confident that the kid understands.
Lifting up from the squat, Din comes to stand next to you a few feet away from them. When he reaches your side he notices your eyes are a little wet as you turn to look up at him. Din reaches for your hand, holding tightly once his gloved fingers find yours. Little do you know his eyes are just as wet beneath his helmet. Not only do you hold his hand in return, you adhere yourself to it. He squeezes it fervently, hoping that you can also feel his intention through the Force like Grogu.
With you by his side, Din watches Ahsoka pick up a small rock and hold it in the palm of her hand. She then flips her hand and holds it straight upright, the rock floating in midair as she pushes the thing towards Grogu. It slowly floats into his hands and he chirps.
“Now return the stone to me, Grogu,” she orders, hand out.
He looks down at the stone and frowns, looking back up to the adults with worry in his eyes.
Din also frowns, offering lamely, “He doesn't understand.”
“There's no way he doesn’t,” disagreeing with a shake of the head, you add, “we've seen him move stuff around with his mind plenty of times. Grogu, don't be shy sweetie, it's okay.”
Ahsoka's face is soft as she says, “It's okay. The stone, Grogu.”
Din looks at the kid and then nods sideways towards the Jedi woman encouragingly. Come on, kid. You got this.
Grogu suddenly makes a noise of frustration and drops the stone all together. You make a noise beside Din, eyes flicking to him before back to the child with worry. Ahsoka sighs and walks forward, each movement of her body so graceful as she squats down to hold Grogu's hand.
Eyes slipping closed, she remarks that she can sense much fear in the child. “He's had to hide his abilities to survive over the years. But the fear I sense in him comes from a different place... let's try something else. Come over here,” she commands.
The kid doesn't move, and Din motions for him to go over to Ahsoka with a nod of the head in her direction again. Still he doesn't move, looking down with a frown. “He's stubborn,” Din says, at a loss for why Grogu is suddenly being so shy about his powers.
“Not him,” Ahsoka replies, gaze turning to Din, “You. Both of you. I want to see if he will listen to you two.”
You meet Din's gaze through the visor, nodding to him as he leads the two of you to where the Jedi stands patiently waiting.
Handing him the stone, Ahsoka gives an encouraging nod.
Din holds his hand out, “Come on, kid. Lift the stone.”
“Grogu,” Ahsoka says into Din's beskar covered ear.
“Grogu,” Din repeats, and the little noise the kid makes is so sweet that Din wants to give this whole thing up and run back to the Crest with the child in his arms. To tell this Jedi lady never mind and high tail it the hell out of there. But instead he forces himself to say, “come on, Grogu. Lift the stone.”
The kid still refuses.
A deep frown creases your brow, shaking your head as your voice takes on a worried tone. “Yes, he's stubborn sometimes, but so is every child. This isn't like him, Din.”
“Connect with him,” Ahsoka interjects, “I have seen the way you two are with him. Be that way now.”
“Wait, I have an idea,” Din says, digging into the pocket of his utility belt for the silver ball from the cockpit. He'd found it earlier that morning and forgot that he'd shoved it in his pocket until now. “Grogu, you want this? Your favorite toy, buddy?”
Grogu's little green face perks up at that, ears lifting.
“Oh good idea! Come on, Grogu. Take it,” you're encouraging from Din's side with that kind, loving smile of yours directed at the foundling.
After a moment of hesitation, Grogu uses the Force to take the ball from Din's hand. Both adults cheer and hug one another before moving down on one knee to praise him, each telling the kid they knew he could do it with loving little pats on either tiny shoulder.
And that's when Ahsoka suddenly declares gravely, “I cannot train him.”
Both adults stand to attention.
“What?!” Din exclaims, mouth going slack under the helmet.
“But he just did the thing you wanted him to do,” you argue with a confused tone, brows knitting.
Ahsoka shakes her head, “He's formed a strong attachment to you two. His attachment makes him vulnerable to his fears. His anger .”
Din can't wrap his head around this at all. “All the more reason to train him.”
Ahsoka looks scandalized. “ No! I have seen first hand what these feelings can do to a fully trained Jedi Knight! To the best of us...”
As she lets this last bit trail off, Din can't help but feel that she's drawing from a deep well of private pain and he relates to that anguish in her face. It's only there for a moment, but it's heavy. He knows the searing pain of loss when he sees it.
Her voice returns to a more neutral tone as she shakes her head, stating firmly, “I will not start this child down that path.”
“Please help us to understand, then,” you plea in return, eyes flicking over to meet Din's helmeted gaze every now and again. He reads the worry in your furrowed brow, but in your eyes the gleam of hope is unmistakable.
Din's own hope is beginning to swell in his heart, but he tries his best to sound calm about it as he says, “My task was to return him to the Jedi. If you are going to refuse I need to know why.”
Ahsoka sighs, looking away from everyone for a moment as she turns her back to them. With her hands clasped at the small of her back, the Togruta woman's impressive striped lekku on display, she takes several deep and calming breaths. Then she turns to face Din and his family once again with a serious expression weighing on her striking features.
“Jedi must free themselves of possession and attachment. Attachment is antithetical to the Jedi way of life. When one becomes attached to something or someone, one begins to fear losing what they have found. Fear of that loss can lead to jealousy, greed, anger, negativity. Negative feelings are normal. All feelings are normal. As Jedi we learn to feel through our emotions and move on. We do not let them consume. When a Jedi becomes a slave to their feelings, it can lead them down the path to the dark side of the Force.” Ahsoka's face becomes grim as she ends her speech with a firm statement of, “I would not wish that fate upon any child.”
“What makes you think he would become a slave to these feelings?” Din asks defensively.
Ahsoka's blue eyes narrow in Din's direction. “Because, Mandalorian, he already is! You and her have corrupted this child with so much love and affection that he cannot bear to be separated from it! I told you I sense much fear in him. Grogu is absolutely terrified that I'm going to take him away from you two. Even though I have already assured him that I am not .”
The look on your face is so filled with relief that you seem suddenly younger almost, the life finding your eyes again as a smile slowly creeps up your lips. Din can hear the joyful surprise in your voice, asking the Jedi, “You're not? ”
Ahsoka's face softens as well, her own lips curving upward as she nods once towards you, “I am not.” Then to Din she says, “And I never was.”
Din's a little taken aback by that statement. “What do you mean?”
“Grogu showed me last night that he does not wish to resume his Jedi training. He feels that path is no longer the one the Force has set him on.”
Din looks at the kid, frowning under the beskar as he looks him over. The little guy looks almost scared, like he's worried about the reaction this news will receive. Gently, Din asks him, “Grogu? Is that true?”
Grogu looks away as if he's ashamed of himself for a moment, or embarrassed in some way. Din moves to crouch down in front of him and you're soon coming to squat down as well.
“Sweetie, it's okay,” you soothe the child, “no one is upset with you and you're not in trouble.”
The motherly voice you've taken on is not lost on Din whatsoever, his heart swelling at the sound of it. His own tone softens more as he assures the child, “Yeah, buddy. We are not mad at you. This choice was always yours to make. It was my job to get you here so you could choose.”
Grogu's little face looks relieved, and at that he begins reaching for the two of you with little babbles and coos.
When you both grab for one of his tiny hands, Ahsoka declares, “You are like parents to him. Grogu showed me these feelings last night in great detail. He allowed me to view a glimpse of the life he has lived with the two of you. This child hasn't felt this happy or safe in a very long time. In Grogu's eyes, you are his mother and father. With you he is home.”
Din's so overcome with love, eyes slipping closed for a moment as the information sinks in. The reality of it. His deepest wish, the thing he's secretly yearned for for months... is suddenly the true outcome of this long quest after all? Maker, his heart wasn't prepared.
Then he hears you asking, “If you never intended to train him, why the test of his abilities?”
Din's eyes open as Ahsoka is explaining, “It was necessary for me to see how much he can still wield the Force, as well as the validity of the attachment between all of you.”
“And your conclusion?” Din asks.
Her smile is genuine, “The three of you are a family. One I believe to be brought together by the workings of the Force. A unit not meant to be broken. At least, not for a very long time.”
“This is music to my ears,” you're happily saying to yourself, a hand to your chest.
“There is one other reason for the test,” Ahsoka addresses Din as she speaks, “Grogu wanted me to ensure that you upheld your oath. He showed me how important your Mandalorian creed is to you, and he did not want you to feel as if your mission was a failure.”
Chest swelling, Din looks right at the kid as he declares, “Nothing about this quest was a failure, Grogu.” Dank farrik , if only the kid could see the pure joy on Din's face right now.
“Thank you, Ahsoka,” you say genuinely.
She gives a single, graceful bow of the head. “I have delayed too long. I must return to the village.”
“The Magistrate hired me to kill you,” Din declares as she begins to turn to walk off. As those words leave his mouth, she stops in her tracks and turns to him with a raised brow. “Offered me a spear made of beskar as payment. I did not agree to anything. For your help with understanding the kid, with Grogu , I will help you eliminate her before we depart.”
*****
You have no interest in joining a fight right now, so when Din asks you if you'd be okay with taking Grogu home to the Razor Crest while he and Ahsoka take care of the awful Magistrate back in the city you're thrilled to agree. Imagining the beautiful Jedi facing off with the evil woman in her very Kill Bill Zen garden, with a lightsaber in place of a katana, a smile can't help but form on your lips at the grizzly mental image.
And so the two of them construct a plan while you lovingly cradle Grogu to your chest, humming one of his favorite Earth songs to him. Din eventually shares a meaningful embrace with each of you, and then both parties set out to go their separate ways.
As you and the kid are making your way back to the Space RV alone, a stray thought comes to mind. Are you really ready for this? Do you have what it takes to do right by this kid?
A weird moment of fear strikes your heart at that, enough to stop you in your tracks. Grogu makes a little noise at you from his perch in the satchel and when you look down at him it hits you that you really are going to be his mother now.
Ahsoka Tano, a real Jedi what-have-you, has declared it to be so herself. Grogu readily agrees, according to her testimony. You still can’t shake how strange it felt to watch her silently communicate with him. A small pang of jealousy surfaces at the memory of it, wanting to be able to listen to his coherent thoughts in the same way. Feel them , as she had put it. Perhaps it's a skill you can build with practice if what she claims about you is really true. 
From what you gather, you’ll never be able to ‘wield’ it like Grogu, but perhaps you can teach yourself to understand your connection to the Force and how it relates to your connections to others. Dramatic as it may sound, you’ve always felt like you can see the best and worst in people whether they try to hide it or not. But that’s not something you ever attributed to any sort of otherworldly ability. It always just felt like you would get a hunch about someone’s feelings or intentions and be right about it. Sometimes this works in your favor and other times it can cause complete chaos. Your accuracy record isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, either. You’ve been wrong plenty of times, but you’ve also been correct enough to feel that perhaps Ahsoka’s observation of you is not false after all. Perhaps you do have some minor form of an ability.
It’s just so bizarre to think that there’s anything different about you at all. Back on Earth you idolized sci-fi stories and characters with special abilities, always pining for a life like that. To realize that in a little less than a year you’ve gotten the chance to live out what was once your heart’s deepest desire in nearly every aspect, that’s enough to make your head spin.
But your heart’s deepest desire has evolved just as much as you have in the last ten months. Now when you close your eyes to dream of a life you feel satisfied with, a Mandalorian and a green child stand by your side. That same green child who is perched at your hip as you walk towards home, the green child who thinks of you as his parent. 
The fear you felt a moment ago is what you assume most new parents feel on their first day. But this isn't your first day. You aren’t new at this. You’ve been with this kid for a long while. He’s felt like your son for the last couple of months now, so why the sudden trepidation? Is it because now it's actually real ? Ahsoka called the three of you a true family. Unlikely loved ones brought together by the mysterious ways of the Force. A unit that is not meant to be broken.
The intensity of what you feel now is unmeasured. After months of looking for a Jedi. After months of fearing the loss, the pain, and the suffering that would inevitably follow. After months of constantly worrying that this loss would drastically alter the dimensions of your relationship with Din. After months of trying to mentally prepare for unimaginable heartbreak... suddenly that heartbreak isn’t going to happen? 
The truth is… you hadn't really planned for this outcome. No matter how hard you may have wished for it.
Back on Earth you'd been starting to worry that a child was never going to make sense for you. It always seemed so far off in the future. A distant dream. As you told Din once, adopting a child was something you saw yourself doing if you had the right partner to raise one with. But between dead-end relationships and dead-end jobs, the idea of it seemed pretty impossible by the time you ended up in this galaxy.
Now you have this beautiful little boy in your life and he's asked to be your son, for you to love him as your child. As you've said many times in the recent past, you would become his mother in a heartbeat. Now that heartbeat of opportunity hits like a great thunderclap all around you, shaking the very ground beneath your feet. All at once you know it to be true in your bones, that this is the course you’re meant to be on.
So the question now is where do you all go from here? You and Din are going to need to have a very serious conversation about what the future holds, but none of that really matters in this singular moment. Not when the child at your hip has acknowledged that he loves you as a mother to him.
"Grogu?" You ask him tentatively, the name still feeling a bit foreign on your tongue. The way he whips his little head to smile up at you when you use his name causes your chest to swell. Removing him from the satchel, you gently place him down on a big mossy rock in order to squat at eye level with him. "So you really do want me to be your mom, huh kiddo?"
He makes one of his little 'patu' noises in response to you, bowing his head in a single nod.
Okay, then. If it's a mom he wants, it's a mom he's going to get. Time to pull on those metaphorical mom jeans and talk to him like he really is your child.
"Grogu, sweetie, I want you to know that I am aware of how hard all of this has been on you. Constantly moving around. Having to hear me and your dad argue about your future. Being in danger half the time. I'm sure it was really scary and confusing, buddy. It was scary and confusing for us too. But I think that before you met Din, you'd been even more scared and confused. For a long time it sounds like. I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry that you had to ever be put in this situation in the first place. I'm sorry you've had to see so much ugliness in your young life." 
The way he looks at you with such understanding in his big eyes causes your own to water, but you soldier on through what you need to say.
"I just need you to know this: Now that you're officially staying with us, you never have to question where your home is ever again. Ever. I love you very much, and I promise that as long as I am alive you will have a place in my heart. I've wanted a child for a long time, but I am so lucky that it gets to be you, buddy. You will always have a home with me, Green Bean. Shoot, I hope it's okay if I still call you that sometimes. It'll be hard to break the habit."
The kid seems to soak in these words, little tears of his own forming in his large eyes as he quite literally flies forward and into your arms. His body is so tiny, so it surprises you with a squeak when the Force aiding him knocks you backwards onto your ass. You can't help but giggle as he snuggles into your chest, but the giggle quickly slips into a sob as he squeezes you for dear life. 
Grogu's little form shakes as he cries into your shirt, soaking the material with tears, snot, and saliva. You could care less about the mess of it, sitting in the dirt as you comfort your weeping child.
After a little bit, Grogu hiccups and his breathing evens out. He looks up at you with his huge brown eyes as he motions towards the Razor Crest in the distance.
"Ready to go home? Me too, buddy. Let's go see what Jupiter is up to. Hopefully your dad and Ahsoka make quick work of defeating that nasty Magistrate lady. I don't know about you but I am so ready to get off this polluted rock.” 
Looking around the ruined forest land, a shiver runs up your spine as you move to get back on your feet. “Place gives me the heebie-jeebies.”
*****
Din's impressed with Ahsoka's skill as a warrior. The entire ruse leading up to Din's dramatic jetpack entrance goes off without a hitch, and the Jedi's abilities are unmatched as she takes out several mercenaries. It is no wonder the Jedi were once so revered.
He doesn't have to see her fight the Magistrate to know she is winning, the sounds of their struggle echoing throughout the quiet city are all the indication he needs. Lightsaber colliding with beskar, the unmistakable grunts of physical exertion.
Lang's silly little standoff with Din doesn't phase the Mandalorian one bit, the natural high he's still riding on very much at its peak. After learning that Grogu has chosen to stay, Din's not sure if anything could phase him right now. His heart is completely filled to the brim, making him feel utterly unstoppable.
Din pretends to listen as the man spouts off, knowing a betrayal is just around the corner. The faster the scummy little man tries to pull one over on Din, the faster Din can be on with his life. The newfound joy he feels when he thinks of the future is fueling every action in him. 
Din shoots Lang down when the older man attempts to attack, and though he holds reverence for the act of taking a life, he's thrilled to be done with this ugliness so he can get back to what really matters to him.
With the city freed from the Magistrate's tyranny, the locals are soon celebrating out in the streets with flutes and dancing. Within an hour the place is already filled with so much life compared to when he arrived the day before. Din watches a family embrace with relief lacing the emotion of it, and he's suddenly desperately ready to get back to his family to share a similar moment of relief. It occurs to him that he hasn't really been able to process this life-altering news of Grogu's choice to stay, nor has he been able to discuss it with the one person he values most.
Ahsoka comes to Din at the city gates, where she gives him the beskar spear and insists that it belongs with his people. She asks him then if she may accompany him back to the ship so that she may say her goodbyes to Grogu, and Din gladly leads the way. The music fades out as they head into the forest, leaving Din slightly saddened to hear its pleasant tones dissipate. If only he could save music from every world on his device. 
When they reach the Razor Crest, Ahsoka respectfully remains outside to wait for Grogu. Inside the ship, speaking of music, he hears your voice as you sing along to one of those Bowie songs you’ve corrupted him with.
This song in particular is one you sing to the child often, given that the odd lyrics seem to be about a magical baby. You’ve tried to explain the movie of its origin to him several times, but he fears it is one he would have to see to understand. 
Following your voice and the surefire scent of food being cooked in the galley, Din finds you happily attending a meal with one hand as the other holds Grogu at your hip. As your body sways back and forth, your hips wiggle along with the music and your bare feet gracefully step in and out of position. When you use the tongs in your left hand as a handheld microphone, Din cannot keep himself from holding in the loud snort which escapes him. 
Jumping a little with a yelp of surprise, laughter soon follows as you lift Grogu to squeeze him tighter, nuzzling his head with your cheek. “Looks like our dance party is over, sweetie.”
The domestic sight of it flares his heart, especially when you turn to meet his gaze with a radiant smile. You look probably the most beautiful you’ve ever looked to him in this moment. 
His own smile is one that he fears may get stuck there forever, tone playful as he teases you, “Mm, making dinner without me I see?”
“Just some noodles. Nothing as good as your food, I assure you. Grogu and I were starving so we had to make due without you,” you say with an equally playful roll of the eyes as you stir the sizzling food. “Seems like you made it back just in time if you’re hungry.”
Din reaches out to stroke a thumb over Grogu's little hand, telling both you and the child, “I am starving as well, but it's time to say goodbye.” When an almost comical look of horror crosses your features for a moment, Din quickly squashes your worry, “To our new friend. Not each other. Ahsoka's business here is finished and so is ours. She asked to say goodbye to Grogu and I figured it was as good a time as any to get on the road. Without the Magistrate the town should start to rebuild. It was already an improvement when I left, but I don’t want to be here anymore. The more distance between us and Corvus the better.”
“Agreed. Where are we going to go next, though?” you ask, setting the utensil down to fully face him.
“I don't know, but we can figure that out as a family,” Din replies, and the truth of the statement leaves him feeling like his life is about to change in ways he can't begin to fathom just yet.
*****
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Masterlist
*****
Taglist:
@jokesonthem | @somewereinthegalaxi | @missbabyjay | @leithatnight | @theyoutubedork | @luc-k-y | @orcasoul | @erissco
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cadere-art · 7 months ago
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A sample of common crops of Uanlikri, with a focus on crops grown on the Ojame archipelago.
More information under the cut.
Grains
Several types of grains and grain-like crops are cultivated in Uanlikri. Of these, the four major types are millet, sand rice, swamp rice, and amaranth (not depicted).
Millet and sand rice are heat-loving and drought tolerant, with sand rice requiring especially good soil drainage but being more cold hardy. They are the main staples north of the Kantishian Mountains. Millet is favoured in the wetter Basin region, and sand rice in the dryer, more mountainous western regions, and both are grown equally in the continent's hot and arid northern desert.
Swamp rice is another important staple of the Basin region: though cultivation is complexified by its extremely heavy water requirements (swamp rice only grows in marshes or riverbanks), the complex river deltas leading to the Basin's inner seas are ideal for its cultivation and have been heavily modified to create artificial wetlands where swamp rice can be grown. Some strains of swamp rice have good cold hardiness allowing them to be grown south of the Kantishian Mountains. Swamp rice has also been selected for salt resistance: it is an especially important crop in the cold brackish marshes of the Cianji river and in the hot saltwater marshes of the Ojame Archipelago.
Amaranth is primarily cultivated in southern regions of Uanlikri. In the southern Basin region, they are a supplemental crop, but up in the mountains and in the cold lands south of the Kantishian, amaranth is the main staple. Mountain amaranth is especially frost resistant and able to survive nightly summer frosts in the Kantishian's high plateaus.
Red oats, known in the Ojame archipelago as uciwici, is a locally important crop grown in eastern coastal regions. Red oats is sensitive to extreme temperatures and does poorly in continental climates, but its extremely high salt resistance and ability to grow in poor soils make it a crucial crop by allowing cultivation to extend to otherwise marginal areas such as sandbars, coastal dunes, and other poor, rocky and sandy soils. It is appreciated for its purple grains with a naturally slightly salty taste, and for its decorative red foliage which retains some of its colour when dried, making it useful for basketry.
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Ferns
Other grain-like crops grown in Uanlikri are seed ferns. Seed ferns are distantly related to true ferns and cycads. Two species are cultivated in Uanlikri: a climbing seed fern grown South of the Kantishian and which produces large numbers of small orange seeds attached to the underside of its fronds, and a caytoniale tree fern which produces modified fronds with large, round yellow seeds instead of leaves and is grown in the Upper Basin and Great Lakes region.
Climbing seed ferns are extremely prolific with a seasonal harvest on par with grain fields and well-keeping seeds with high nutritional value. The seeds are bitter with a taste somewhat reminiscent of burnt almonds and citrus peel, and are usually parboiled before cooking to remove some of the bitterness.
Caytoniale seed ferns are less prolific but are perennials. The seed envelope is also quite bitter, but the seed flesh has a pleasant neutral flavour and a crunchy, sticky texture not unlike that of meringue. Seeds keep well on the tree, but go bad quickly once harvested unless they are properly processed: seeds meant to be kept are parboiled, smoked, and ground into flour, while seeds meant for short-term consumption are either hulled and ground into flour, or hulled and grilled, often to be eaten as snacks alongside grilled insects.
True ferns are commonly consumed as greens, especially young fern shoots (fiddle-heads) and equisetum (horsetail) ferns. Antioles are less sensitive to the toxins in ferns, and parboiling of fiddleheads is often done but not strictly necessary unless consumed in great quantities.
Legumes
Legumes grown for food are historically rather rare in Uanlikri prior to the conquest of the Western Peninsula by the Senq Ha Empire. There are only two important legume crops in Uanlikri which are native to the continent: the grosbean, and the wax pea.
Grosbean is a vine which produces short, rectangular pods containing two to three large beans. The beans are exceptionally large, very colourful, and have a somewhat chalky texture. They used to be a staple in the Basin region, but have been mostly displaced by more palatable varieties introduced by Senq Ha colonists, though they are still grown for jewellery.
The wax pea is short, somewhat vine-like plant producing smooth pods containing a single unpalatable, extremely waxy pea. Though they are edible under duress, wax peas have never been grown as a food crop. They are instead highly valued for the wax which can be obtained by boiling the peas in a slightly acidic solution.
Other legumes (not depicted) have grown in popularity in the two centuries since and are now commonly eaten in most regions.
Roots and fruits
There is a great regional variation in the crops grown for their greens, roots, and fruits. This section should be treated as a sample of a sample, focused more closely on crops grown in the Ojame Archipelago.
Fruits
There are several species of ginkgo in Uanlikri, all of which produce elegant foliage and edible nuts. The nuts stink and their skin can cause rashes, so they are to be manipulated with caution, but their creamy flesh is much appreciated for its strong cheese-like flavour, which confers a pungent taste to salty and sweet dishes alike.
Bird cherries are small, cherry-like fruits that grow on trees and bushes. Most bird cherries are tart and astringent and are used for a touch of tartness or in jams and other preserves. Some cultivars produce very sweet cherries. The seeds of most birdcherries are mildly toxic to antioles.
The arils of a few yew species are eaten by antioles, especially as a gooey prepared delicacy or in jams. All other parts of the yew plant are extremely toxic to antioles, and the arils must be consumed with extreme caution. Because of this, it is illegal to plant yews on the Ojame Archipelago and especially in Ranai, but due to the extreme longevity of these trees, there are several ancient yews in the city of Ranai which are important landmarks and sources of yew arils.
Various citrus are grown and used throughout the Northern parts of the continent: most are acidic and bitter, though there are also sweet varieties. In the citruses of Uanlikri, green is associated with sweetness, yellow with bitterness, and orange with acidity.
Sumac is an important culinary crop in the Ojame Archipelago: sumac fruits are processed for the production of malic acid, a popular flavoring and crucial ingredient in the traditional Ojame ceviches.
Mothberries are named after their pale blue flowers in the shape of a butterfly. It is a drought resistant plant originating from the northern regions of the continent and cultivated for multiple uses: its tuber and leaves are aromatic and medicinal and its fruit is very sweet.
Roots
Root vegetables of all kinds make up an important portion of non-staple crops throughout Uanlikri.
Fur yams are floury and sweet, with edible and prolific leaves with a distinctly "green" taste.
Gourd roots, named after their shape, are crunchy, aromatic and sweet, with leaves used as culinary herbs.
Reeds are an all-around essential plants, with young shoots eaten as greens, roots eaten as a staple by coastal and marshland peoples, and its dried leaves and stems essential materials in basketry.
Orange onions are one of the many varieties of alliums cultivated in Uanlikri. They are the most popular alliums in Ranai. They are potently sulfuric and milden considerably with cooking.
Sweet and pearl radishes (are not radishes) are different cultivars of the Uanlikri radish (not a radish) with crunchy, fresh-tasting and slightly bitter leaves and small starchy tubers which produce very fine starches.
Spindleaf yams are plants with strangely shaped, aromatic and medicinal leaves somewhat reminiscient of sage and a juicy, crunchy tuber with a slight, mustard-like bite.
These are just a sample of grains, ferns, legumes, greens, roots and fruits eaten in Ranai and elsewhere on the continent of Uanlikri. Many of these plants have a large number of regional cultivars, and each region has a variety of local plants they grow or gather which are not broadly eaten elsewhere.
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This took way too long and I don’t even like it, kill me please
It may be a bit cringy but it’s currently 2 am and I’m too tired to care
Is there any context? No! Just make one up haha
I totally just made this because I’m a sucker for Jack being head over heels for Davey the second he sees him
@nitttstdsdtoastd asked for Javid and I will deliver 🫡
(I totally made this for myself)
Sarah is another person we can add to the “is annoyed by Jack’s tendencies” pile
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burningcheese-merchant · 5 months ago
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"Born from a unique blend of cheese and spice; the end result of a union between sworn enemies turned devoted lovers. His mother's face, his father's eyes... and blue wings, who would've thought? Pepper Jack Cookie is a kind and well-mannered boy, with a wit even sharper than the blade of his glaive and a deep sense of love and loyalty towards his family and his peoples. He's always been well aware of the high standard everyone holds him to, and does everything in his power to uphold it - to the point that some worry that he pushes himself too hard, without necessity. If he was to be completely honest with anyone, including himself, he might be willing to admit that he suffers quite a bit under the pressure, real and perceived... But regardless of his feelings, no matter what becomes of him, Pepper Jack Cookie continues forward, reaching for that sky he loves to soar through... All for the sake of those he cares for and wishes to protect and serve, as he knows he must."
(First person to come tell me whose feathers those are tied to his glaive will get to know a very big and important fact about our little heron boy here in exchange (also I'm sorry the feathers look like shit, I'll do better next time))
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starssoblue · 8 days ago
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"the reason adrien is just instantly good at everything he tries is because he is programmed to be that way as a senti" aside from the fact that i don't think that's how it works (and also while he was decent at everything he tried with marinette he wasn't instantly good at all of them, and what marinette actually said to him was that he could improve in anything with practice but it was a great first attempt) did we all collectively forget about how adrien actually canonically isn't the best singer?
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#adrien agreste#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#ml s6 spoilers#ml season 6#ml climatiqueen#miraculous spoilers#ml spoilers#actually never saw that episode in french so maybe the french voice actor did a better job idk but given that adrien doesn't#usually sing for kitty section or ever the way i saw it was he used his poetry writing skills to write a song#and as a songwriter he was probably great but being a good lyricist doesn't make you a great singer obviously#so to me that's what his deal is#i actually like that throughout this show adrien has some things he picks up easily and some things he has to work on and might never do as#well as people with more experience#i also think as a kids show the lesson they want to put out is anyone can improve with effort and attempt#like he fumbled that science lab experiment but enjoys particle physics#languages tend to come easily to him precisely because it's been something he was forced to do since he was young#a lot of polygots especially if they start young develop skills and see linguistic patterns and iirc he already knew some#japanese from anime and his familiarity with mandarin should help#but i love that he took it further and took on morse code like the cute nerd he is#and now he's studying ancient greek for fun??? what a cute#marinette says his macarons tasted fine but we saw him struggle with the creme#what i mean to say is#he has discipline (basically second nature now) and dedication so he can do well but it DOES require effort#and i think it dismisses how much adrien TRIES or the fact that a lot of skills he was taught to have since a young age aid him#and i just don't think all sentis are “perfect” in an AI robotic way (even if that's how their parents wished they were)#it also just lessens his humanity and iirc the writers have stated multiple times that they are still human#(we can discuss how inconsistent ml is about sentis in general but eh idc for that conversation tbh agdhsjsjks)#anyway adrien will forever be#my nerdy son i love him so much
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blueflipflops · 9 days ago
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Sometimes I dream up a fic So Good that I go to my ao3 then realize FUCK I haven't written all that shit yet. Then FUCK I have write all that shit. Then I just cry
#this is abt my idea of an entire hunter guild from modern!earth getting isekaid to a fantasy world and accidentally taking over a kingdom#then they'd have to girlboss gatekeep gaslight people into thinking they have a 'royal family' to establish trade#and do politics w/ other kingdoms#the guildmaster is a powerful woman who they call queen jokingly that lead to the first of many misunderstandings#her overworked right hand man is thought to be her consort and the two of the best hunters in the guild are thought to be their kids#they are not#people call them wonder twins. they are not. they're not even twins. nor are they related#they just happened to be recruited and personally trained by the guildmaster's righthand man#this also leads to a rumor that the righthand man BIRTHED the twins himself#to which said 'twins' would forever support claims and would fan the flames at any given oppurtunity#guild as a weird fucked up family who all looks up to the 'queen'#the people of thekingdom they took over are nervous at first but ultimately decided that nah theey good.#they're better than the corrupt management theeybused to have.#plus! they've been efficciently protecting them from the monsters in the surrounding areas. making the land more safer and prospereous#they just keep accidentally 'conquering' lands (saving them) that 'expands' their territory (they keep swearing loyalty to their queen??)#that other kingdoms are like 'FUCK if we don't establish a good relationship now they might do that shit to us too'#so now nobilities from different kindomss try to push their kids to the 'twin' prince and princess but the kids are like#'I DONT WANNA MARRY SOMEONE FROM SUCH A BARBARIC KINGDOM!!!'#but also since it was the entire guild that got isekai'd they were able to bring their technology there too. along with their R&D departmen#which then unknowingly made their 'kingdom' the most technologically advanced kingdom there is#there are so much more on my notes but so far my favorite is the Mpreg rumors righthand man can't shake off no matter what he does
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greeneyeofenvy · 5 months ago
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ignore how long she took me,
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Lamore Cupia, youngest of the current Cupias, a famous potion family in the wizarding world: they historically invented the Amorentia and other love potions. And holds blood of the Cupid(s), but that’s a family secret. The mirror selfie and the profile drawings ig, it’s close to her real handwriting, cursive and hearts on her i’s. total time taken: roughly 18 hours. fun lore abt Lamore:
-She’s a Ravenclaw, despite how ‘dumb’ love can make her, she’s talented in potions by birth (which created a sort of friendly rivalry with Daniel Page)
-her family is LOADED, and pure blood. Lamby a like the sugar mommy, and least traumatized (she has no trauma, yet.)
-she just knows love about people, wether it’s their orientation, crush, status, she just knows. Hell she’d likely even know if someone like someone before they knew themselves! I imagine she gets little tingles when a ship of hers becomes a reality.
-she goes by many names: The matchmaker, Mory, Lam, Lamby, ‘that girl who knew he was gay before he even knew what gay meant’ (true story?). Either way she’s a cupid woman of many names.
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moe-broey · 5 months ago
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Also making a separate appreciation post for Moe GRISPING HIM. READY TO ATTACK. LUNGE and KILL‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
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And Alfonse doesn't even flinch, he just goes
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And braces for impact.
Also also ADDITIONAL APPRECIATION. FOR
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Woulgh.
Was just gonna tag ramble BUT. NO. MAIN POST. I'm SUCH A FAN of the faces here. Moe's delayed reaction time, or just. Having really neutral reactions to getting scuffed up or the like. Autism creature. COMBINED with Alfonse's overt panic and instant like REFLEXIVE instinct to catch Moe. LIKE REALLY REALLY FUN pose in general!!!!! But ALSO. THEY'RE SO. EXPLODES 💥💥💥💥💥
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guinevereslancelot · 8 months ago
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applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏
#took me three days bc i really wanted my dad's input on my resume and he took a while to get back to me#but i reallyyyy wanted to have applications in my monday morning and now i do :)#also feeling much better aboutbthe whole thing now that i have stuff to be excited about#still really really sad abt leaving the kids at my current job tho#but i drove by some of the places i applied today and researched them and im really optimistic about some of them#i even heard back from one already which i was not expecting at all#she literally emailed me like half an hour after getting my application and started asking me questions#like a pre interview#so thats nice#we went back and forth a couple of times#its not my top top choice but that place isnt officially hiring and might take forever to back back to me#this place is a smaller home daycare type place and urgently hiring but the pay is super good and a home daycare environment might be nice#and the pay is pretty decent esp compared to what im making now#the top top place is a fancy pants private school that going to be way more thorough abt references and background check#so they'll take longer to get back to me#but i found out after applying that my friend's mom works there 🤯#so she's gonna ask her to put in a good word for me :)#but they're not officially hiring according to their website it just says they encourage people to inquire so i did#so p unlikely i would get that one but you never know#anyway!!!!#finally excited abt things and not just filled with dread and sadness abt leaving the current place and kids#still makes me sad but im not on the verge of tears thinking abt it anymore lol#this has been a shitpost
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shierak-inavva · 2 years ago
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[insert mom & dad joke]
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dorizard-art · 2 years ago
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youtube
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missszena · 4 months ago
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Am I the only one thats getting really tired of boring gorefest "horror movies" that keep getting made in recent years whenever a cartoon character enters the public domain???
Like they're already making Popeye into a serial killer and they did it with Winnie the Pooh TWICE with apparent plans on doing it again with Bambi
Like I get it
Its soooo edgy to see these beloved cartoon icons or storybook characters covered in blood and guts or whatever but that's been done countless times online already with like horror aus and shit (ffs the mlp fandom popped off last year with infection aus) which you can just look up for FREE without having to buy a movie ticket or pay for a streaming service
Like I love a good gorefest as much as the next horror fan (I lose my shit over the Dead Space series every time) but it's kinda like getting chocolate cake over and over again, eventually you're gonna get sick of chocolate cake and want to at LEAST put sprinkles on it
But on the other hand Tintin becoming a slasher villain would be funny as fuck so I'd let that one pass if it ever happens
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cathymee · 3 months ago
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we're all wasting our time the earth should just explode soon <3
#<3 just ur typical Human moment of Doubting and Being Frustrated move alogn#the dilemmas never end it's crazy. and u're giving out all of this to an overthinkerw/crippling anxiety#can't even romanticize it :( i just have to pretend i'm in a movie? ok. cinematically killing myself#& yea u know when they're right that's another thing like. Yea it won't be like this forever. Yea it's a cycle. doesn't mean it's not#tiring to go through. & sometimes u don't need pep talks u just really gotta whine & complain then u go back to Going Through It &#Fighting Tooth and Nail Against It. whatever#ugh and it rlly just took a friend talking to me about how someone they know also complained about how this town is just really shitty. &#some of the burden is gone like oh?? okay. thank you. i'm not crazy & dramatic & Being Singled Out this town is just really fucking stupid#& another one about how it really is just sooo hard. super super hard. to land a good decent humane job when u're not finished w/getting#ur degree. bc everybody hates everyone <3#& it just really baffled me bc have we really normalized child labor so much that it's actually common behavior to SHAME minors if they#don't have jobs. it's crazy#no that's not the case for me but like. seeing it w/others...wdym that 14 yr old has to hustle no that 14 yr old has to go to the#park with their friends after they finished their homework. what do u Mean they need to be thinking about how to earn 50k a year#it's bad application of good ideologies bc omg. yes children need to learn about survival & careers & their future but not to that extent??#& these aren't even child stars child artists whatever. these r the children in slums children in small towns children in low income#families. mamser why r u pressuring ur child to work in a factory to support a family they did not create#& that shame is somehow so internalized it's so ingrained#oh god i never understood i always thought i was just so behind. but no this town this city is created by satan himself#it's all ab connections. nepotism; our lgu the very embodiment of it. why am i still shocked that the citizens modeled their life after#this too. no one gives a fuck about anyone else unless they'd have something to Gain for giving a fuck#& i'd be so envious of these kids with sidelines w jobs & it's like. no that's their family business. no that's just the business of a#family friend & they work just for fun. or no that's from a scholarship & it's aligned w their educational track. & i just Don't Have That#& i should be ok with not having that. girl. u as a 15 yr old should not have been thinking about supporting a family.#at the very least u can think about being independent & supporting urself if that's what u'd like/u wanna try it but. ugh.#that big responsibility should be just a choice & something u should b doing when u're in an actual stable point of ur life. 20s 30s above.#not when u r Fifteen. shaking ur shouldrs. younger cathy listen 2 me!!!!!#& ik obvs case. poverty & ignorance but god do i hope this won't b the norm forever. when r we gonna let children just be children#when are we gonna do our absolute best to support them & always make them feel safe and stable and free & just let them#discover themselves & the world
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