#also this one was difficult and not difficult at the same time

[drchucktingle]

As an autistic person, did you struggle to make and keep friends? And have you found friends through the writing world? I ask because my mom always said i needed to find my people. I did finally find them (they are neurodiverse trans nerds, haha), but not until i was like 30. And i wonder if its true of other autistic people too. So i guess my question is: did you find your people, and when?

thank you this is good question. i have always had a LOT of CLOSE BUDS even from a very young age. i would actually say that i am unusually socially adept in my way and that it is partially BECAUSE of my autistic trot. LETS TALK ON THAT FOR A MOMENT

'BUT CHUCK YOU SAID YOU ARE ON THE SPECTRUM AND AUTISTIC BUCKAROOS CANNOT BE SOCIALLY ADEPT' some say. and sure it is UNUSUAL overall, technically speaking, but there is also an important reason we talk about this as a spectrum of buckaroos and not a monolith

when buckaroos ask me what it is like to be autistic i try to explain like this: there are certain cues and markers from the outside that serve as a sort of identification checklist but because of masking they are not always correct. instead i see it as question of WHAT IS IT LIKE INSIDE YOUR BRAIN?

internally my brain is different. its taking in way more information all the time, including the stuff that neurotypical buds block out, and that can become overwhelming. it is hard to navigate because i do not have that automatic neurotypical 'here is what is important here is what is not' function

so yes i can be easily distracted and zone out as i watch the patterns and fractals spin off. and yes i can miss certain things in social situations. in many autistic buckaroos this makes large groups overwhelming and the OUTPUT of behavior matches what we typically know as signs of autism

FOR ME however, same thing is going on inside, but i have managed to HARNESS that information. even from very young age i see that everyone is DOING THE HUMAN ACT but instead of rejecting that and shutting off i think 'well okay i am just going to do THIS because thats what they actually want'

in other words, most neurotypical buds say one thing that has a kind of spiraling social-cue-related OTHER MEETING (they do this ALL the time) and instead of rejecting that i have trained myself to be REALLY REALLY good at knowing the hidden meaning. it is EMPATHY but on a sort of LOGIC BASED level

and because i have always been pretty good at that, people like to trot around me and say 'wow this is a good friend they understand me'. now for ME that can be a little exhausting and there are things i need to do and stims and all that to release the effort, but overall it is worth it to me

OTHER THING is that i was a successful CREATOR AND ARTIST BUCKAROO from an early age which is socially seen as 'cool' especially when you are trotting around in your youth. it is not particularly FAIR but it is true that some level of fame makes buds treat you well even if you are 'weird'.

of course it can be a sort of FAKE 'treating you well' but as an autistic buckaroo it is still more of a chance than you might otherwise get. this timeline has sort of carved out a very special little sliver of social grace for the token odd artistic weirdo to have a seat at each cool kids table

ANYWAY that is the trot of my life. it is a unique trot that i dont get to talk on much but since you asked THERE YOU GO. every chance i get to say 'I LOVE BEING AUTISTIC' and talk on HOW MUCH IT HAS IMPROVED MY LIFE i try to take a moment and do that. when i was young i had few autistic heroes

and OF COURSE it can be difficult and overwhelming and we need to have space for those stories and voices, but i want young buckaroos who get this diagnosis to know there are ALL KINDS of stories and trots on the autism spectrum. MINE IS PRETTY DANG COOL and maybe yours will be too. LOVE IS REAL

[beigebeignett]

I do love angst but I'm also a sucker for happy endings and re-incarnation, so here's my take on what happens (decades/centuries) after:

The sphinx and her lover: reimagined

Imagine that the sphinx ends up dying, as all living creatures do, and ends up reincarnated as a very smart yet terrifying young scientist. 

Her passion in her fields equals her distaste for other people; especially men who try to undermine her knowledge and talent at dates. So, she sets up a strategy to determine who is worthy of her time.

If you want to get a date with me, solve my riddles, wrong answers will get you blocked. 

There, done, she thinks. If that doesn't make men stop bombarding her with messages, she doesn't know what will (well, she can think of a few others, but she'd rather not spend more time and energy than she's already spending on such a silly matter). 

And so, she starts getting less messages, with only some men and women being brave (or foolish) enough to try and chat with her. 

The ones that try to answer her riddles don't usually last long; getting the second or third wrong. Some don't even last the first one; those are usually the most bothersome, acting as if she has no right to choose her partner, as if she's being too ruthless (when she'd been honest since the beginning). 

Weeks pass before she gets another message. And so, she does as she always does. This time though, something's different. He keeps getting her riddles right, over, and over, and over. 

How curious, she thinks. How curious indeed, when he asks her if he could try asking her a riddle. She scoffs at her phone, partially amused, and agrees. 

She gets the answer right, of course, so he keeps asking riddle after riddle and she does the same, as if they were playing a game of pass the ball. The riddles get increasingly difficult, and the time those three dots stay floating on the chat grows longer as well; but she doesn't mind. She can wait a bit more for this one. Plus, while she waits, she can get lab reports done instead of worrying about finding new questions to ask that man. 

Sometimes days go by without her seeing any new riddles for him; sometimes a week passes before he gets asked another one. 

She must be busy, he thinks. He must have other things to do, she assumes. 

Between riddles, they start to talk about more mundane things: his job, her career, his essay on ancient Greek marriage practices; her paper on nuclear magnetic resonance in chemical engineering… He sends her pictures of his cat napping on top of his dictionaries and encyclopaedias, basking in the sun; and in turn she sends him pictures of boards filled with equations and pictures of filled excel tables.

Soon, they start chatting more, asking riddles occasionally when they’re both tired of talking about themselves. 

She learns that he’s an Archaeology major, and he finds out that she’s already getting her doctorate; something about chemical engineering, she explains. He’s fascinated by the topic, asking her a million questions about what it’s like, her doctorate subject, how did she choose her career path… And in turn she asks him about archaeology; why did he choose to spend his life studying the past, what is it that he enjoys the most about his field of work… 

They agree to meet up at the local library two days later. 

Almost a foot taller than him; that’s how tall she is. She’s waiting for him sitting near the entrance, browsing through architecture magazines when he finds her. He smiles and warmly waves at her, formally introducing himself, and extends his hand for her to shake; so she stands up as well to take it and introduce herself as well. That’s when they notice.

Even though he’s not short himself (considering the standards) at 5'9", at almost 7 feet tall she towers over him. Their aesthetics seem to clash a bit as well: his outfit is quite simple: some basic jeans and a nice cream wool jumper paired up with some sneakers, and hers consists of a pleated red skirt and a shirt paired with black knee-high boots to combat the cold. Out of the chat, and now face to face, their conversation flows easily; they exchange book recommendations, and of course they ask each other some riddles to pass the time. 

Overall, their first date goes well. Better than she expected, honestly, which is why when he asks her for a second date, she agrees.

To be continued...?

[meret118]

I assigned a writing prompt a few weeks ago that asked my students to reflect on a time when someone believed in them or when they believed in someone else. One of my students began to panic.

“I have to ask Google the prompt to get some ideas if I can’t just use AI,” she pleaded and then began typing into the search box on her screen, “A time when someone believed in you.”

“It’s about you,” I told her. “You’ve got your life experiences inside of your own mind.” It hadn’t occurred to her — even with my gentle reminder — to look within her own imagination to generate ideas. One of the reasons why I assigned the prompt is because learning to think for herself now, in high school, will help her build confidence and think through more complicated problems as she gets older — even when she’s no longer in a classroom situation.

She’s only in ninth grade, yet she’s already become accustomed to outsourcing her own mind to digital technologies, and it frightens me.

When I teach students how to write, I’m also teaching them how to think. Through fits and starts (a process that can be both frustrating and rewarding), high school English teachers like me help students get to know themselves better when they use language to figure out what they think and how they feel.

. . .

If you believe, as I do, that writing is thinking — and thinking is everything — things aren’t looking too good for our students or for the educators trying to teach them. In addition to teaching high school, I’m also a college instructor, and I see this behavior in my older students as well.

-----

This! This is what scares me the most about AI! Physical exertion is difficult if someone isn't used to it, and it gets easier the more often it's done. When it's done often enough, it becomes a habit. Mental exertion is exactly the same. Thinking is a learned skill just like a sport is, and an entire generation is growing up without that most critical skill.

An unthinking populace is a more easily controlled populace.

[shaisuki]

𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗚𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗦 ━━━━━━ 黎深

— it wasn't your place to dictate what his heart wants but sometimes you wished his affections were directed to you — just once. was it difficult to spare you crumbs of affection or when Zayne noticed how you start to pull away from him and it was too late for him to realize how damaged the relationship was you desperately trying to build and you got tired of wanting him. can he still get you back? or must he turn to drastic measures?

notes. requested by @itsmearia01 . to be continued in part two

content warnings. angst + unrequited love + arranged marriage + emotional neglect + emotional cheating + non mc reader + insecurities + doubts + lack of affection + slow burn + drinking + clubbing.

It is said the most successful of marriages comes from respect and it shall evolve to mutual understanding for the parties involved.

That's what you thought to yourself when you come of age that you were informed of a arranged marriage to your childhood friend, Zayne.

It had come to that arrangement for Zayne's parents have saved your mother from the complications of birth just to have you and upon your birth comes the arrangement that their child and you shall be brought to union later in life. It was a fine match indeed. That's what your parents and Zayne's agreed.

Thus, it came hurting you later at life.

Zayne is respectful and never treated you different from others. Although he ignored you most of the time and feels like you didn't exist in his life. Well, who could blame him. It wasn't a match he chose for himself, it was his parents and yours. It was unfair that he didn't have much of a choice.

Blinded by your admiration for him — it didn't deter you how cold he was to you. Zayne's heart was made of ice and maybe you can melt it. You knew Zayne was a softie after all. Cold and stoic he may come, he did care. He likes animals, children too that's why he's close to his patients. He's also fond of sweets! That's why you pack him extra sweets and learned to make macarons, his favorites.

That's why it never bothered you when he treats you like air. At least he knows he have a fiancee. That's what you say to yourself. Convincing that one day, Zayne will look at you in your eyes.

It was far fetched dream though but you could dream. Looking positive.

Not until she came in the picture and oh, how you wished you were her. What efforts that you poured just for him to say a word about you takes her for only a second. Zayne looks at her eyes. Zayne compliments her and he always noticed her first.

You did try but all it takes for her was to come and melt the frozen heart of Zayne. His heart wasn't totally frozen, it was incapable of being thawed when it comes to you. He's sweet on her and that's when you realize — you lost the battle, a long time ago.

He was with you but he's mind was with thoughts of her. You knew he wasn't going to pursue cardiology if it wasn't for her. She's sick. A heart syndrome but Zayne spent his studies understanding the human heart and the Protocore Syndrome. It was all for her. His achievements was for her.

How could you also compete? Zayne fondly mentioned her that she's a deepspace hunter and possesses a rare type of Evol — Anhaunsen Class: Resonance. Amazing! Good with kids, cheerful, and she's pretty with her pale skin, long straight dark brown hair and she's thin too. You were not.

You can't even get the same response as Zayne would have spoken to her. He deeply cares for her. Why wouldn't he be? Zayne even took as being her primary care physician.

It doesn't matter though, you still support him for you were going to be his wife and he as your husband. If he doesn't want that, he should have called off the engagement a long time ago.

And as soon-to-be-his wife, you can endure it. That's how a marriage should work when another one endures for the comfort of the other.

It doesn't matter when he prioritize her. She's sick, what could be your reason. He's her physician.

It didn't hurt when he forget to eat the lunch that you prepared for him. He's a doctor, he's busy with operations even you later learned that they had lunch together.

It didn't hurt you when he gave you a plushie knowing that it was a duplicate and she owned one too.

It didn't hurt when he's uninterested to you, he could be obvious about it but he didn't.

It simply didn't hurt cause you were used to it and then one day, you stopped caring. You didn't even have the strength to cry and if you did, you'd be joining Heartbreaker crying near the trash bins.

The clock read one pm. It's lunch time for Zayne and he didn't have the time to grab food in the cafeteria when it's only thirty minutes away for the next scheduled operation and he remembers you always brought him lunch. It's usually placed in his desk. Wrapped in pastel blue square cloth, dotted with snowflakes and a snowman in the middle but there was nothing. Yvonne hasn't informed him earlier of your presence so maybe you forgot it.

Checking his phone, there wasn't a message too. He ignored it. He presses his phone off and decided he will just grab a bite later.

At first, it didn't bother him.

How your messages were a rare occurrence nowadays. A casual — how's your day? Or a simple good morning. Usually when he wakes up it's the influx of messages coming from you. Texting him what he wanted for dinner or what how's he feeling for the day or the simple cat video that you know he likes. Now, he's staring at the screen. The last message were a week ago.

Then, how you don't speak anymore with mirth.

The café was nice. She recommended it. The atmosphere was cool and he doesn't hear your voice anymore. Quietly sitting while sipping your drink — your gaze fixated on a distance. You casually hum and that's the end.

“Is something bothering you?”

Wow. A full question. That's a first.

The ice in your drink clinks as put it in the table. Absentmindedly stirring the cold liquid with a straw. “It's nothing of concern.” Your gaze focused on the table. It wasn't wiped properly. You barely glanced at him.

“I won't push you to say something but I'm here to listen to you.” How assuring. Zayne notices how you didn't much respond. Casting a side eye glance, your eyebrows raising a bit and your lips pressed in a thin line.

He was about to say something when his phone rings. “Go on.” You weakly drawled. He swipes the phone to the left declining the call. “It's my day off. I shouldn't be bothered with work.”

A humorless chuckle left your mouth before you can stop it. Work. It's her. “I'm sorry, you don't reject calls like that, Zayne. Don't let me hinder your work.”

“No, my day offs are reserved for you.” He said with a small smile.

It was more like a obligation than willingness. He doesn't enjoy being with you. He rather prefers being with her.

“If you say so.” You finished your drink. Grabbing your shoulder bag, you stand up. “I shall not occupy much of your time. I'll be going.” Ignoring his comment, you pushed your chair.

“(Y/N), did I do something to upset you?”

You shaked your head in dismissal. “You didn't do anything to upset me. I have urgent matters to attend to, have a good day.”

“Do you want something for tonight.” He attempts again to offer you. Something to ease your mind.

“Don't bother.” Is what you said before leaving.

Later that evening, the doorbell rang. You were finishing the last touches of your makeup and you pat your brush down before putting the final touches of your makeup.

Opening the door, you were greeted by Zayne and usually, you've gone ecstatic. Always eager with him being in the room and you can only look at him indifferently.

“Zayne, I didn't know you were coming.” Opening the door wider to let him in. He took his coat and puts it in the rack. You noticed he was holding multiple plastic bags containing the contents of your grocery list. You ignored it.

The cardiologist followed you with his gaze. Noticing your all dolled up appearance. Your tube denim dress layered with a white shirt. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah. Clubbing with a few girlfriends.” Your voice clipped and you went back to your room to grab your bag.

“You don't like nightclubs.” He casually commented. Putting the groceries in their rightful places in the cupboard.

“I don't but it's a nice change. You know, you didn't have to stay here. You can go if you want.” Tapping the heel of your platform boots in the floor.

“It's fine. Do you want me to drive you there?” Zayne offerers. Loosening his tie.

“No.” You shortly replied and slammed the door.

It was a weekend. The club was packed with sweaty bodies crowding in the middle of the dance floor. The neon lights bouncing at the rhythm of the loud music. This wasn't your scene and yet, he sees you happily dancing with a friend. Laughing under the lights when your friend whispered.

Zayne have followed you. Concerned of your well-being.

It feels different and Zayne wasn't used to seeing you like this. Unexpected for someone who acts so proper and prim. He knows that everyone have pleasures but this was different.

He watches you drink. Downing a glass, shots after shots. Drinking the burning liquid like it was water. Zayne's brow furrowed, lips pressed in a thin line. He approaches you.

The brightly colored glass looks tiny in your fingers. You admired the liquid sloshing as you tip it back and forth before bringing it to your lips but before you can drink it. A voice popped besides you.

“That's enough.” His tone firm, grabbing the shot glass from you and putting it on the table. You blink lazily, your movements light and your mouth looser. “Who do you think you are to say that it's enough?” It wasn't a question. You tried to grab the drink again but Zayne holds your wrist.

“You're drunk.”

“I'm not.”

“That's what people say when they're drunk.”

Zayne pulls you away from your table. Picking your handbag on the way as he excused you from your friends. You didn't even struggled when he dragged you away from them.

His black Audi A6 is parked and he opens the door to put you in the passenger seat before turning around to sit in the driver's seat. He rolled down the windows in your side. Zayne pulls the seatbelt, making sure you're properly strapped in your seat before doing his.

There's a purr coming from the car after he starts the engine. You remained silent. Eyes glossy and your lips curled. Silently staring at the city lights. You glanced at him and you never felt so resigned at a person. Is this how people felt when they got tired of chasing the person who remains so distant from them — cause if it is — you were done.

Zayne stole a glance at you. Your head propped in the window of his car. He can see the city lights twinkling in the reflection of your eyes. You were in no doubt at the edge of drunkenness. Has he not interfered you were probably wasted with a major hangover. He continued driving. His eyes on the road, his hands on the steering wheel.

The vehicle stopped in front of the building where your loft is located and you didn't bother to wait for him to open the door. Yanking your seatbelt and letting it slide to its place, you popped the door open and slipped. Walking towards the entrance in small wobbly steps.

Zayne followed you behind. Keeping up with your pace. “Careful.” He steadies you up when you almost tripped. His expression remained neutral even you recoiled from his touch.

You messily swiped your card before punching the numbers before stumbling inside. Your shoes felt incredibly tight. Your fingers fumbling over the laces. Zayne kneeks in front of you. Easily undoing the laces of your boots before pulling the zippers down in the side. He holds your ankle before tugging your boots. He did the other part.

You stare at the man in front of you. Zayne was like a snowflake in your palm — melting. Slipping from your fingers and only to be returned to something new. Different but the same. Sucks he's not that in form to be with you.

“You should rest now. You don't want a hangover in the morning.”

“I told you, I'm not drunk.”

“Then can you tell me what I did something to upset you?”

“For being a party pooper.”

“It's not like you to act that way. Your well-being is my concern.”

“Come on, don't give me the doctor crap.”

“I'm your fiance. I should look after you. You're my priority.”

Priority. Hah.

A hollow laughed escaped your lips. Giggling as you stand up and finding your footing. You stumbled in the living room. Your shoulders shaking in laughter. It must be the alcohol.

Zayne looks at you — confused.

“I'm not your priority, Zayne. I'm an obligation. Something you keep cause it is needed and we both know it.” You look at him in his eyes and your heart breaks a little.

You exhaled before letting out a shaky gasp. Tears brimming at the corner of your eyes. You hated being weak. You hated being hurt.

“You started being concerned when I stopped bothering you.” Then the spiel of you being ignored. Of being hurt began to unveil.

“Don't you ever talked about me being your priority? I'm your priority? Is that so? Cause the last time I checked — ” You brought your finger to your lips, the habit you do when you're thinking before looking at him. “I wasn't for the last time - No, wait. I wasn't for the last years. No, no, no. I wasn't in your whole life.”

A tear slipped out and you furiously wiped it away in frustration. Mad at yourself for trying, for being such a fool.

“You are drunk and you must rest now.” Zayne went to approach you but you slapped his hand away.

“I'm sober as I can be and don't you dare ask me again why I'm upset. I'm upset all of the things. I'm so sick of trying! Of trying to chase after your affections.!”

“You should have said in the first place that you didn't want to do anything with me rather than ignore and act like it's your obligation to be with me! I can understand it! I'm not so dumb, Zayne!”

The words rings in the space of the room. Zayne remains impassive. His green eyes staring right back at you and you felt pathetic. A outburst is all you needed for him to look at you.

Blinking back the tears, your fists clenched on the side. You have lost your words. One must act a fool to be noticed. You lost the strength to speak one more word. The rush of blood pumping in your veins felt like drops.

A beat of silence passed. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed at you.

“(Y/N), I—”

“I'm glad you still remember my name.” You said dismissively before running back to your room and slamming the door shut.

[kiyoomiee]

Your bestfriend, Yuuji’s older half-brother Sukuna, who always had this grudge towards you and you can’t pinpoint why.

You first met him during summer break. Your couldn’t keep up with your dorm fees anymore and happened to mention it to Yuuji one time.

“You could stay with me! I have a spare room nobody’s using.”

“Are you sure Yuuji? I don’t want to impose on you.”

“Of course I’m sure. You don’t even have to pay rent or anything.”

A home that’s close to uni and has no fees? It was heaven sent for a broke college student!

“That’s the last of them. Thank you Yuuji, I really appreciate the help. If there’s anything I could do around here just let me know.” You told him after dropping your stacking your last moving box into your new room.

“No problem. Just a heads up though, my brother also lives with me. Is that okay with you?”

“Sure, it’s fine with me.” Your famous last words.

You should’ve headed the red flags when Yuuji tried to warn you about his brother.

“Sukuna can be..difficult sometimes. But it’d be nice if you two would be friends. If not, ehh, just avoid him if you can.”

You should’ve headed the red flags when Yuuji tried to warn you about his brother.

To say that Sukuna had a bad day at the tattoo shop was an understatement. His new assistant never arrived, he was dealing with a shit client plus, his ink almost ran out.

His frustration echoed throughout the two-storey house when he slammed the front door shut.

He was confused by the smell coming from the kitchen as he walked in. Is Yuuji cooking? Nah, his idiot brother would burn the house down if he even tried to get near the kitchen.

Instead, he finds a woman’s figure busy behind the kitchen counter. It made him stop his tracks.

Beautiful, he thought. But too young for Sukuna’s taste. Plus, he doesn’t like it when a stranger touches his favorite spot in the house.

So great, his bad day is about to become worse.

“Who. The. Fuck. Are you?” You almost screamed when your eyes went to the man that appeared behind you.

He looked similar to Yuuji, but the aura was very different. His build was larger, jaw sharper, and he had looked furious.

Oh, he must be Yuuji’s brother, Sukuna. You tensed up unintentionally while his eyes wandered on what you’re wearing.

“You one of Yuuji’s girls? I told him not to bring his hookups here.” He uttered, eyes not leaving yours.

You wore a tank top with cotton pajama shorts. You looked too comfortable just to be visiting.

“No! I-I’m Yuuji’s friend. It’s nice to meet you.” You said nervously.

“Can’t say the same sweetheart. I’m not so fond of strangers in my house. So open the front door and walk outside.”

What? Is he kicking you out?

“Wait! Yuuji didn’t tell you? He allowed me to stay at the spare room down the hall.”

“He what?” Sukuna was fuming. Every step he took closer to you looked like he was going to eat you alive.

“YUUJI!” His voice thundered all over the house.

“I-I think he’s sleeping in his room.” You winced at the string of curses that came out of his mouth.

“Whatever conversation you had with my dumb brother, it’s not happening. You can’t stay here.”

“But it’s the start of the semester, I can’t find a new dorm in a snap!”

“You shouting at me, girl?”

“N-No, I mean-just please, I can take care of the house. I can even cook for you. I can’t afford to leave, not right now.”

Before Sukuna could open his mouth, Yuuji’s footsteps rang out from the stairs.

“Sukuna, you’re back! Wait, did something happen?” Yuuji looks at your nervous face.

“Yeah we’ve met alright.” Sukuna muttered, arms crossing to his chest.

“Yuuji, your brother’s kicking me out.” You tried to hide behind Yuuji’s form.

“What? You can’t kick her out!”

“I can because it’s my goddamn house. If don’t want some girl in here, she’s got to go.”

“You can’t! To be fair, I did tell you that my friend’s staying with us for a while and you agreed.”

Yeah he did agree but he thought that black haired kid was moving in, not you.

“Oh, for fucks sake,” Sukuna exclaimed and you could tell he’s about to lose it.

“I’ll stay out of your way all the time, I promise. You won’t even notice I’m here.” You pleaded him.

“Yeah, I doubt that. Clean up your damn mess.” He said harshly and glared at you before stomping his way upstairs.

“I’m so sorry. My brother’s not so good at making first impressions.” Yuuji pouted.

He’s an asshole, you wanted to say.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad he didn’t kick me out.” You exhaled in relief.

If that was his reaction during your first meeting then what about the upcoming months?

“He won’t. I’m sure you’ll grow on him, you kinda have that effect on people.” Yuuji tried to cheer you up but you just gave him a faint smile.

Yeah, somehow you doubt that would work on Sukuna.

——————————————————

note: Sukuna is 29 in this fic and your age gap is 6 years. I don’t like doing age gap with minors, so just think that everyone in this fic are 18+.

[deswhomst]

Pinky Promise | @black-sisters-microfic | Tedromeda-centric | Word Count : 695

Hogwarts, September 1964.

“You’re a mudblood, then?” Andromeda asked suspiciously. “I’ve never heard the name Tonks before.”

Ted Tonks, who had been unnecessarily cheerful up till this moment, dropped his smile immediately. “That’s not a nice thing to say.”

“Why?” Her brows pulled together in confusion. “It’s just a question. I won’t be offended if you ask me my blood status.”

Ted stared at her. “The difference is that you’re insulting me.”

“When did I insult you?” Andromeda threw up her hands in exasperation. “You’re the one who can’t answer a simple question!”

“Are you stupid?”

“Oh, clearly, I am,” she said. “Why else would I be wasting my time talking to you?”

Ted rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, Your Highness, I’ll let you go so you can continue your bullying.”

“What!?” Andromeda shrieked indignantly. “I have never bullied anyone, nor do I want to!”

“Didn’t you just call me a mudblood?” asked Ted, eyebrow raised.

She groaned in frustration. “I only asked if you were. And you still haven’t answered me.”

“I’m not a mudblood,” Ted said pointedly. “I’m a muggle-born.”

Andromeda blinked. “Is—what is wrong with you?” she asked. “That’s exactly the same thing!”

“No, it’s not!”

“A muggle-born,” she began through gritted teeth, “is someone who has muggle parents. A mudblood is also someone who has muggle parents. I fail to see the difference.”

“When you say mudblood, it sounds like you think you’re better than me,” Ted said. When Andromeda pursed her lips and didn’t make a comment, he scoffed. “You do think you’re better than me, don’t you?”

“Well … yes,” she slowly nodded. “But that’s because I saw you trip and fall over nothing. You were just walking, there were no obstacles, and you still fell.”

“That can happen to anyone!” he pointed out indignantly, face flushing a light pink.

“It has never happened to me.”

Ted glared at her, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “Who the fuck cares—”

“Don’t use the word,” Andromeda hissed, eyes widening.

“What word?” Ted blinked. “Fuck?”

She nodded, distressed.

He huffed out a mirthless laugh. “So you can call me a mudblood but I can’t say fuck?”

Andromeda wanted to burst into flames right then and there because why was this boy being so difficult?

“It’s just a blood status,” she tried patiently. Maybe he doesn’t know since his parents are muggles. “So, you see I’m a pureblood because my parents are, too. If someone has one parent who’s not a pureblood, then that person is a half-blood. If you have both parents who are muggles, you’re a mudblood,” She held up her hand when he began to interrupt her. “It’s also called muggle-born, I know, but mudblood makes more sense. Pureblood, half-blood, mudblood.”

After that, Ted stared at her silently for a very long time. It seemed that he was contemplating his next words carefully, finally settling on, “We prefer to be called muggle-born because people use the other one in a bad way … it’s like how you don’t like hearing fuck because it’s a bad word. Mudblood is a bad word, too.”

Andromeda digested that, nodding slowly. “But then you can’t use that word, either.”

Ted’s face split into a helpless grin. “I promise that if you stop using the m-word, I’ll stop using the f-word.”

“Deal,” she nodded, satisfied with this. “Should we make an Unbreakable Vow?”

“What’s that?” he asked curiously.

“It’s an unbreakable vow,” she raised an eyebrow. “It means you make a vow that you can’t break.”

“I meant,” Ted rolled his eyes again, this time with a smile that seemed fond, “what would happen if I do end up saying fu—the word?”

“You’ll die,” she stated simply.

“Oh, good thing it’s not something dramatic and unnecessary.”

Andromeda laughed.

“We can do a pinky promise instead,” Ted told her. “It’s the muggle version of that vow, except you don’t die if you break it.”

“Then it’s not very binding, is it?”

He shrugged. “It’s about trust. You can break it, yes, but I would be trusting that you won’t … and vice versa, I hope.”

“Hmm,” she passed a small smile. “Alright. Let’s do this muggle promise of yours.”

[mrswrightreal]

Um, would you mind like writing something with Masky/Tim and a virgin reader? Or at least something softer(?) and lots of praise and stuff like that. I dont see a lot of fics with that, and I would like to see it.

Also, this is my first time requesting anything on anyone's blog, so sorry if it doesn't make sense; I'm kinda nervous

yesss!! I love tim sm omg omg I love soft sex grahhhhh and yessss!!!!

tim wright/masky x fem!virgin!reader

warnings: explicit content sexually, nsfw, unprotected sex, p in v, oral sex (f!recieving), vaginal fingering, lowk corruption, soft sex, praise kink

cloud nine.

you and tim were the power couple, the "it" couple. everyone admired you two, the way you two got along so easily and were still able to keep up with each others teasing. and tim made sure everyone knew you two were together, always publicly holding your hand and kissing your forehead. he always made sure to introduce you as "his girlfriend" or "love of my life". always made sure you had fresh flowers on the dining room table kind of guy.

loves everything about you, wants to marry you officially and make it official. so exactly was his plan; take you to dinner, a nice one at that, shower you with affection, drive you to a secluded spot with a nice view of the stars, and pop the question.

he was so nervous, fingers drumming against his thigh as he waited for your food, giving you an occasional smile every time you asked what was wrong. he gripped your hand over the center console when driving, rubbing his thumb slowly across your skin. when youd ask why he was sweating so much, he would brush it off like the car was warm.

your suspicious laugh made his stomach flutter, pulling you out of the car and dragging you into the grass next to a few trees and a picnic table. when you questioned him, he just shook his head slowly. he took out a camera, telling you to pose with this distant city lights behind you. you knew he was a sucker for having your photos with him everywhere, so it wasnt out of the odd.

but when you turned around and saw him on one knee, sparkly ring on display under the moonlight. oh you swooned, covering your mouth and already crying. he didnt even get through the whole speech before you tackled him with a million yess'. he placed a kiss on every inch of your face while sliding the ring onto your finger, trying his hardest not to cry just at the sight of your glossy eyes.

the drive back was pure bliss, the same question falling from both of your lips after the other: 'is this really happening?' 'of course it is'. oh you two, young love. tims job made it a bit difficult, always gone and returning grim, but when he explained, you denied any risk it was to you. you loved him, and youd do anything to keep him.

he lifted you bridal style from your spot in the car, carrying you into your shared home. you couldnt even get both of your shoes off before his lips smashed into yours, hungry and feeding for you. you two stumbled through the hallway, tims jacket and shirt left somewhere on the tile a ways away.

now youre in bed, laying beneath him in that long and silky dress, hands hands gliding over every seam and fold that hugged you. he slipped the straps down your shoulders, your smile making him intoxicated. he helped you out of he suffocating fabric, leaving your supple skin on display for his eyes.

"I cant believe youre mine" he whispered, holding your hand and kissing the fresh new ring.

your eyes sparkled up into his, outshining every star and diamond that he saw that night. "oh, tim" you smiled softly, sucking in a shaky breath.

he kissed up your arm, peppering his lips all the way up to to the corner of your jaw. his hands roamed down your sides, resting softly on the fat of your hips. he worked his fingers into the fabric of your panties, pulling them slowly down to your ankles. you kicked them off somewhere else around the room, not caring about finding them if this was the circumstance they got lost in.

his hands worked their way back up, head dipping down to capture your lips with his once more. this time it was soft, no rush or hurry. it was pure love feeding from him and into you. his hands dug beneath your back, blindly unclipping the material of your bra and allowing you to remove it. now you were completely bare underneath him, the rooms air nipping at your curves.

tim backed away slowly, eyes looking you up and down. he drank in the sight of you, all his and only his. to keep, to touch, to love. he ravished you, like you were the last thing on earth to him. you were his oxygen, his heart, his soul. there would be no him without you.

"you are so beautiful, like a goddess" he praised, before kissing down your neck and to your breast.

his lips were soft, well taken care of thanks to your chapstick he always seemed to steal. the way he kissed you so softly, like you would crack if he went to hard. you were porcelain in his eyes, holding you so still to not break you. his lips wrapped around one of your perky nipples, tongue drawing slow circles around the bud.

your hands ran through his hair, tugging slightly in pleasure. you whined a bit, the noise rumbling in your chest beneath him. he let go, but continued kissing down your stomach. he rested his knees against the hardwood floor of your room, hands sliding smoothly to separate your thighs.

his breath ghosted over the slick of your cunt, making you shudder. he chuckled a bit, bringing one finger up and sliding it between your puffy folds.

"look so good baby" he hummed, prodding his digit at your entrance and moving his face closer between our thighs. he pressed a quick kiss to the inside of your leg, then moved to lick a stripe up your sex.

"tim!" you gasped, settling yourself up on your elbows and watching the way his head ducked under, face completely buried in your warmth.

his tongue pushed deeper into your flesh, forming sweet and slow circles around your clit. the swollen and aching nub heightening every one of your senses. his finger slowly pushed into you hole, curling upwards and pressing into the spongey spot within. he groaned against your skin at the way you pulsed around him, your slick gushing out around his knuckles.

"taste too good, sweetheart" he muttered, removing his finger and slipping his tongue down into your cunt.

"fuck- tim !" you moaned, back arching at the way his muscle fucked its way into you.

he drank every last drop you spilt, nose bumping into your clit every movement or so. if he went any longer, he would be stuck there for the rest of his life, so he came back up, sucking in a breath. he climbed over you once more, pressing his moistened lips against yours. you could taste yourself on his tongue, eyes closing softly and allowing yourself to rest back into the bed.

you hear tim messing with the buckle of his belt, causing your to press against his chest and look up at him, "shouldnt it be fair if i repay you?" you asked curiously, tilting your head.

"no hun, this night is about you" he whispered back, finally undoing his belt and chucking his pants down to the ground.

you rested once more, butterflies taking flight in your stomach at the way he spoke to you. he was so kind, so understanding. no matter if you two argued or you were too mad to speak, he touched you in a way no one else could ever obtain. you were the luckiest girl in the world, having someone as sweet as tim.

he pulled his boxers down, allowing his half hardened cock to slap against his stomach. he crawled over you, arms bracing at either side of your head. he pressed a quick kiss between your eyebrows, watching the way you pleaded for him. his cock lined itself up with your entrance, tip kissing your slick.

"ready baby?" he asked quietly, pushing in slowly.

your mouth fell agape, the stretch burning in the best way possible. he finally pushed all the way in, cock aching as you clenched around him. he completely bottomed out, small whimpers falling from his mouth at the way you gripped him like a glove. it was like you two were made for each other, built for one another. you two fit like a puzzle piece, quite literally filling you so perfectly.

"feel so good, love, can I move?" he asked, kissing your cheek and nuzzling his face into the side of your neck.

"mh-mhm!" you croaked out, hands wrapping around his back and bracing for him.

he pulled out slowly, before sliding back into you. he was careful, not wanting to hurt you on this beautiful night. your noises were sweet, falling into his ears like honey. you were so tender, so warm and felt delectable. he continued his fluid motions, sliding in and out slowly before speeding up a bit.

"oh- tim! feel so- mhm right there!" you babbled into his shoulder, nails digging into his pale skin of his back.

"shh, ive got you, baby" he murmured, pulling all the way back out and slamming into you.

you gasped, breath hitching and whining squeezing barely through your vocal chords. you tightened around him, making him bite down on his lip and push harder into you. one of his hands picked up and reached for yours, placing it down on the bed and intertwining his fingers with yours while he fucked into you.

the bed creaked with every motion, following your sweet moans. he grunted slightly, your ear picking up on when you tightened a little too good around him. your hips met with his thrusts, wanting more as the heat in your gut pooled. he could tell how close you were by the way you fluttered around his cock, and the way your moans quickened.

"close- tim im-" you begged, hand squeezing his and back arching slightly.

"i know baby, let go, im right here, youre doing so good" he cooed, rubbing soothing circles around your thumb with his own.

thats all it took from you to release around him, gasps and moans flying out of your mouth without even registering what was happening. he kissed your sweating neck, using your new slick to pick up his pace and chase after his own orgasm. your body wracked with little sobs and begs from the overstimulation, clawing at his skin and pleading with him to stop

"i know i know, just a second baby- fuck gonna- gonna look so pretty so full of me" he groaned, spilling his seed into your sobbing hole, "feel so good baby, youre so amazing, love you so much." he muttered, licking around your jaw to calm himself down.

you two stilled against eachother momentarily, soaking in the embrace of your love. two souls, tied so tight together there wasnt a single force strong enough to tear apart. tim leaned back, pressing a kiss to your nose before pulling out of your cunt with a groan. he watched the way his cum dribbled out of you, smiling down at your fucked out body.

"wanna bath? warm?" he asked, already knowing your answer.

"with the-"

"with the lilac soap because the rose one makes you itch, ive got it baby" he cut you off, kissing you softly and picking you up.

he carried you to the bathroom, setting you in the unfilled tub before sitting at the edge of it. he reached over your body and turned the water on, letting the warmth flood over your body. you closed your eyes, relaxing into the water. he flicked he soap bottle open and poured it into the running water, allowing the suds to form around your skin.

he stood up after shutting the water off, running a hand over your hair, "ill be right back" he promised, walking out of view of the door.

he put his clothes back on, picking out a new shirt and panties for you and grabbing a towel. he walked back into the bathroom and folded the clothing onto the sink counter, and set the towel on the shelf. he knelt down by your head once more, grabbing the shampoo and rubbing it into his hands.

"gonna let me take care of you?" he asked, smiling and scrubbing his fingers into your scalp softly.

you relaxed back, lifting your hand out of the water and letting your ring rest over the tub ledge. you looked over at your finger, then at tims eyes.

"thank you" you whispered, picking up your hand and placing it over his bicep that stretched out towards you.

"anything for my wife" he hummed, making your heart flutter at the new name.

you could get used to hearing that.

[bleedingcoffee42]

Happy Birthday Chuck Grant!!!

Charles Ensworth Grant was born March 1, 1922 in Pittsburgh, Pa. He was the son of Francis Bingham Grant and Katharine Willis Grant Francis was a veteran who served in the cavalry and sold furniture. Katharine's family traces back to New England and her family moved west to California around the same time the Grants did. In the 40s Chuck would have her sister, his Aunt Elizabeth Willis Knapp and her family across the street from him as well as Grandma Willis who would move in with his parents later on. Katharine's brother Edward would live close by in West LA as well.

Chuck may have graduated from University High School in 1940 but he didn't take his senior picture so it's difficult to verify. He worked as a gas station attendant before taking a job with Vega Aircraft. He also listed his address on his draft card as that of a friend's father, a friend who's wedding he would be in as part of the wedding party. Later another member of that party would accompany him to Las Vegas as witness for his own wedding in 1946.

He fought every campaign with Easy company, from Toccoa to Austria. He is described by his fellow soldiers:

-"Loved life. Loved women. Sharp as a tack" -Babe (also memories.)

-"Sunny, quiet, golden-haired boy from CA"- Webster

-"Sinewy physique, excellent combat record..easy going but all man. "- Christenson (memories)

Chuck was promoted to Corporal at the same time Ranney, Petty and Harris were demoted to privates in 1943. Chuck received a Purple Heart for being wounded in Holland (shot in the ass) and was awarded the Bronze Star. He more than likely had more.

On May 27, 1945 he is shot by Floyd Craver of Item Company. Speirs, Foley and Roe loaded him up and took him to Battalion HQ where a sloppily dressed Captain said he couldn't do anything for him, so they loaded him back up and took him to Saalbach where they knew there was a hospital. Jack Foley kept his affairs in order while he was in the hospital in Austria and wrote his parents, as did Don Malarkey. Chuck's parents wrote him back and thanked him. After the war he is discharged from Hammond General Hospital in Modesto, California on November 3, 1945.

On November 2, 1946 Chuck Grant married Norma Jean Darland(She gets her own post), a marine, in Las Vegas with his friends Keith and Doris Morgan to witness. He and Norma move to San Diego where she is a cashier at the Naval Training station and he does get some veteran assistance. He fills vending machines 5 hrs a week. They have two children, Dan Edward Grant and Charles E Grant, Jr. In Sept 1954, Norma commits suicide by overdose and Chuck finds her in their bedroom. He takes the kids to a friends and comes back to call the cops. He never remarries. By 1960 he is back in Los Angeles area where he stays until his death in his home on Bracken Street Arleta, CA on October 12, 1982.

Chuck was an active member and officer of the Disabled American Veterans, Military Order of the Purple Heart and a co-founder of a chapter of the 101st Airborne Association in his area. He was present at most of the reunions. He visited members of Easy who were ill like C.T. Smith and went to Arlington for the dedication. He was voted to be the 506 representative in the 101st in 1980 and it was well deserved.

There is no evidence Chuck lived in San Francisco and he would have had to do it between 1956-1960 where he falls off the radar in my research. He is a disabled widower with two little boys, the common sense move is to go back to LA where he has family. The gentleman who owned Grant's Smoke Shop in San Francisco was Edward L. Grant who's parents were English immigrants and no relation to Chuck.(separate post).

Chuck struggled with partial paralysis but still was extremely dedicated to veterans, and Easy Company, and served years with vet organizations in the LA area. He appears to have never remarried, had one DUI, his stereo stolen twice.

Chuck appears in several photos besides Skip Muck (above), is included in the Niland story, and Hack Hansen was closest to him. He's not only the victim of what appears to be being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but not having a best friend who wanted to keep his memories alive and make sure he wasn't forgotten. He is way more than the guy who was shot in the head, but nobody was around to tell those stories to Ambrose.

Happy Birthday Chuck! And special thanks to my partner in research @noneedtoamputate who has been on this journey with me as we try to find out WHO was Chuck Grant besides 'the guy shot in the head'.

(under the cut- Dog Tags in possession of GMH. David Lowry's coveralls with Hack Hansen and Chuck Grant stenciled on them. Chuck from Easy Company photo at Fort Bragg. Chuck at a reunion which may be 1981 San Diego- from Winter's files. Also the write up from Christenson which seems to be were the tobacco and SF thing came from. 101st Airborne article and Bronze Start article).

[blommis-writes]

What makes this even greater than it already is, is that so many different channels tried to tank this film since it first came out, making it so that you have to do sommersaults to find a way to watch it. I was lucky that last summer it was randomly running in the film festival I work for AND in the documentary section that is assigned to me, so like, I had to watch it either way and my job place provided the means to, but y'all have no idea how difficult it is to watch it regularly.

It's available to watch for free on nootherland dot com, but it's location-restricted so you either live in israhell or have a vpn to make it look like it.

It's so ridiculous because it has become so famous and well-known as it has won many awards, from the small local festival I work in, up to now winning the fucking Oscars, yet it keeps being nigh impossibile to find a way to watch it. Try guessing why.

Hell, even the presenter assigned to the doc section of my festival, a documentarist who absolutely despises piracy, was like "yeah no basically the only way you can watch it regularly is through pirating, friend of mine in the business said it's because they're trying to tank it to avoid nullifying all the propaganda stories coming from mainstream media."

It's all so terrible, but at the same time it makes this victory taste soooo much sweeter.

(Also not to sound like the local drug dealer but if anyone who doesn't have a vpn wants to watch it and is not bothered by spanish subs hmu, I have a drive folder where I keep copies of some films I particularly like, this one included, and I believe that sharing is caring.)

“No Other Land” wins Best Documentary at the Oscars 🏆

This film made by a Palestinian-Israeli collective shows the destruction of the occupied West Bank's Masafer Yatta by Israeli soldiers and the alliance which develops between the Palestinian activist Basel and Israeli journalist Yuval.

[doublequaterpounder]

Hey this one may get a bit real and sad word of warning!!!

A realisation i’ve kinda had recently about being a feedee and getting hella fat on purpose is its effect on my relationship to my family. like don’t get me wrong they support and love me for whoever i am but it’s just different.

my family is quite small and they love fitness and exercise and all that hoopla especially my mom. so as like teen to connect i also got into all the fitness stuff cause i wanted to foster that connection with her. but it really wasn’t me. i ran a half marathon, did crossfit, judo a whole bunch of stuff cause it made me feel closer to my parents cause that’s what they like and we got to spend a lot of quality time together through exercise.

but again that wasn’t me while this was happening i was fostering a love and a desire of fatness which was so so so confusing and i hated myself for it. but it was what my heart truly deeply wanted needed. so as i became an adult and had autonomy i decided to “let go” of all that and indulge and enjoy food and enjoy my body growing but it wasn’t linear that love for my own fatness since i had grown up learning to fight my own body and happiness as an unintended side affect of my parents health obsession.

so when i choose to get fat and make myself big on purpose i inadvertently choose to distance myself from my parents which was in retrospect really difficult cause i love them so so much but at the same time i can’t live my life for them. i need to choose what makes me happy and in recent times they’ve noticed that yeah i am happy so it doesn’t matter how husky i get as long as i am happy

and i admit i am so lucky that they’ve taken that stance there’s still a misplaced comment here and there about my weight but it’s significantly less than what it used to be. it does suck that ideologically we differ on this subject and they’ll never know why that is but self care if means getting fat is integral to yourself.

idk what this text post is about i just be reflecting is all thanks for reading these rambles i guess lol (lots of love)

[dredgen-dumbass]

(Disabled) player's guide to making D2 more accessible

because so far (correct me if I'm wrong) I haven't seen one on here, & maybe (hopefully) it'll help someone.

Alright, to get it out of the way, I'm disabled. I have neurological damage from a tbi, and more recently another concussion, and among many many other things it makes gaming a lot more complicated. It can (unfortunately) be difficult to find advice for disabled gamers online that isn't just "get good" or "then gaming isn't for you", so I figure this might be helpful, since it was for me.

I can't speak to other conditions, so this is more about adjustments for specific symptoms, but I can only really speak from experience. That said, I've had to learn quite a bit, so it's sharing time :)

(I play on Xbox. Some settings aren't the same between platforms, just a warning. For that reason, some of this post is going to be xbox-specific.)

This is divided up into menus & subjects of bullet points are bolded to be easier to skim.

Controller settings - (and explanations for some of them in case y'all don't know)

Test out different look sensitivity. The default is 3, I moved mine up to 5. I have issues with spacial awareness and saccades dysfunction, and this has made it easier for me to keep whatever I'm looking at on-screen.

ADS sensitivity- if you don't know, this is the speed when you aim down sights. The default is 1, I have mine reduced to .5, and I've found that the larger difference between the look & ADS sensitivity can really function as having two look settings available when using a weapon that doesn't have a very extreme scope.

The default sprint-turn scale is 0.4, I bump mine up to 0.8 for similar reasons to the look sensitivity increase. (Turning this up makes you turn faster, turning it down makes you turn slower.)

Alternatively, if you have more issues with overstimulation/visual clutter/quick movements/etc, you may want to turn everything down a bit to slow down your camera, but that may make combat harder to keep up with, especially pvp.

Axial & radial deadzone. This helps with stick drift. Stick drift is a pain for everyone but if you have fine motor issues, tremors, arthritis, etc, it's even worse. Finding what works best for your hardware will help make sure you're compensating less, which puts less strain on your hands.

I've seen people recommend turning off controller haptics for the same reason- the vibrations make you grip the controller harder and can cause worse strain. Personally, I leave them on because the sensory input helps balance out the awareness issues, but maybe it's for you! (this one's a system setting, not a d2 one.)

Video settings

Brightness can be important if you have issues with eye strain. I would recommend changing this relative to the lighting in the room, not just your monitor. Turning it up may help with visual issues with the tradeoff of risking overstimulation. Again, all of this is very dependent on the person.

Motion blur- Evil, evil, evil, turn this off. Visual problems or not, it's harder to follow things on-screen with it enabled. Combined with any garden variety problem with eye movements or cognitive strain it's even worse.

Chromatic aberration- I turn this off. It's a nice vfx, but it can wind up just being added visual stimulus and if that's a problem for it's worth losing. It can also make the radar harder to read. Not worth it (personally.)

Film grain- off for the same reason. It's a smaller change, but a clearer view is worth it if it helps you.

Sound settings

If you have problems with your hearing/auditory processing, I highly recommend turning the sfx & music drastically down compared to the dialogue, and then just turning up your system audio.

Personally, I often play with music entirely off, but I know that can be a very boring experience to a lot of people, so take that as you will.

(my current settings: sfx 8, dialogue 10, music 1)

if you're playing with an Xbox party or in a discord call, etc, I really recommend messing with the mixing settings there when you first get on to balance out peoples mics, regardless of processing problems.

Gameplay settings

HUD opacity- I turn mine down to high, the default being full. Just another thing that makes it easier to keep track of stuff.

Radar Background Opacity- Opposite here. If you have problems with spatial awareness you're probably relying pretty hard on the radar instinctively, so the clearer it is, the better. I play with mine on medium, you may want to play around.

Subtitles- Are on by default, so that's nice. Let's check out their settings menu for a moment.

Turning on show speaker name can be really good for hearing/auditory processing issues.

You can also change the color for the speaker name/caption text if the clearer contrast will help you.

The best background style for visibility is box, but it won't look as nice. Another trade.

Background opacity may be easier to lower if you switch to box, since the faded style isn't even. A lower background opacity may help you follow things on-screen at the cost of caption readability

If you don't need captions but do need to reduce visual clutter, try turning them off!

Colorblind mode is, obviously, helpful if you're colorblind, but I have also heard it recommended because the color changes can help improve contrast. Not one I've tried, but worth including.

Full auto firing/Full auto melee- Does what it says. Turning this on might help in the same way as turning off haptics/messing with deadzones, ie by changing how much you need to click. You can still fire normally with it on, so if anything it just gives you another option.

Reticle location is slightly below the center on d2. I prefer to center it, though it takes some getting used to. More helpful if you frequently switch between other games that center theirs.

Neutral/targeted reticle color- The defaults are white and red respectively. I prefer black for targeted because I feel like it makes it easier to see what I'm actually aiming at, but you may want to leave it for contrast. To each their own.

Other

Brief overview of Xbox accessibility settings

Xbox has a narration setting. I would assume anyone who needs it is aware of this, but just in case.

If you need more assisted play, there's controller assist where you can combine two people's input

Turning off haptic vibration (as mentioned) is in accessibility -> controller

You can make the on-screen keyboard larger!

There are party chat settings for both text to speech and speech to text

There's also game transcription!

Games that have the function can also do their own read-aloud. I don't know if/how this applies to destiny

Mono output for audio may make things easier to understand depending on your audio setup

There's also high-contrast mode for both dark or light

Colorblind filters are here, too

Night mode! You can change how much it dims/filters your device. If you have problems with blue light or eye strain, or have to limit screens for medical reasons like me, this setting is a lifesaver. The filter will affect how your games look, but personally it's worth the tint. Same is available on most PCs.

Hardware, etc.

The Xbox Adaptive Controller is highly customizable and great for anyone with physical impairments that make the standard Xbox controller difficult to use. Find it here.

I've seen thumbstick extenders recommended for arthritis, might also be helpful for similar conditions

If you have arthritis/fine motor issues/muscle weakness/tremors/etc/etc/etc controller grips might make holding a standard controller easier

If any of those are the case for you, then you might also benefit from a lightweight controller (or playing with a standard controller plugged in & removing the batteries for a lesser weight adjustment)

evilcontrollers also has one-handed controllers and a one-handed controller customizer much like the standard controller customizers

evilcontrollers for hardware accessibility in general

If you play on PC and have muscle or joint issues then you may want to look into different keyboard/mouse shapes. Lightweight, vertical, and ball mice are all options, though there's apparently some argument about using them for gaming. I've also seen good reviews of the Azeron keypad from people with muscular/joint problems. There's also split keyboards, wave keyboards, one-handed, etc etc etc.

If you have problems with auditory processing I would HIGHLY recommend gaming with noise-cancelling headphones. (Hell, do everything with noise cancelling headphones.) I would recommend these for everyday, but they also work pretty well for gaming. The mic is mid, but it works well enough, and there's multiple sound modes + active noise cancelling.

Other other (oh no I forgot these, editing now)

Compression gloves !!!!!

Pause and do hand exercises after a while

20/20/20 rule for eye strain

may come back and expand this as I think of more things

There is a lot that Bungie could do to improve the game's accessibility without causing an imbalance with abled players, but I'll save that for another post. Feel free to reblog this with any other advice/anecdotal stuff/whatever, I'm considering this as opening a discussion.

I don't know of any clans specifically for disabled players but I'm sure they exist? If anyone has recommendations for community stuff, please do throw that in.

As always, my dms are open. Being a disabled gamer can suck sometimes and if you need a space to vent w/ someone who gets it, I'm your guy. If you're just curious how it impacts gaming, I don't mind being asked, I just don't feel like posting about myself that much unprompted.

I think that's all for now. Happy gaming :)

[cookies-after-dark]

okay but Shmilk would be such a back seat driver if he let black sapphire cookie fuck reader

“Move ur hand lower”

“They like being pinched there”

kiss em like u mean it cmooon”

and whoes to say he won’t get strings involved and fix their position himself if they keep messing up :3c

okay no wait 💡 you dropped this because that is one hell of a good idea.

(additional tags because I went loopy here: explicit content, unhealthy power dynamics, possessiveness, humiliation, exhibitionism, degradation)

See, my lame ass was just thinking of Shadow Milk Cookie using this as powerplay, you know? Like a, 'my pets are playing with each other!' scenario where Shadow Milk Cookie actually lets one of his minions knock you around a bit in his stead. Let's be honest, Black Sapphire Cookie's been eyeing you up and down since the moment Shadow Milk brought you here! He's such an eager, helpful, obedient little servant! You could learn to be more like him, Shadow Milk Cookie thinks.

And Black Sapphire Cookie is more than willing to show you just where you stand, riiiiight at the bottom of the hierarchy! No one can tell me that little purple ball of lint isn't secretly a dominant control freak who needs to have everything go his........- I mean, master Shadow Milk Cookie's way. You're adorable and endearing enough, but you need to be taught a lesson or two before you go strutting around the Spire, thinking you're all that just because your the master's newest pet.

Hence, this situation. Shadow Milk Cookie sees the most perfect opportunity to humble you and get his rocks off at the same time! Well, he has many ways to do that, but plan in partocular has him hardening in his tights already. Passing you off to an underling really paints the whole picture for you - you belong to the Spire now! You belong here, this is your new home, you won't be going anywhere, and the first thing we'll do to make sure of that is to fuck you on every piece of furniture in sight! Lovely, ain't it?

Shadow Milk Cookie also loves giving you yhe illusion that you can choose - would you rather have your legs be folded over your head whilst Black Sapphire Cookie mercilessly fucks you while recording your moans and squeals through his beloved microphone, spreading rumors all over Earthbread how you're just some hungry, poorly trained slut? Ooooor~ you could play with Shadow Milk Cookie instead! Those are the only two choices by the way, so choose carefully.

So that was my lame ass. But this ask is hysterical because this also makes Shadow Milk Cookie sharing you with anyone else an absolute godawful nightmare. Black Sapphire Cookie would never talk back to his beloved master, but even he must admit it's getting difficult continuing when Shadow Milk stops him every few seconds with some kind of criticism.

"Pfft! Well, of course, only one Cookie on all of Earthbread could handle this task correctly! Even still, you could at least *attempt* to have a bit more tact than that~!"

Because the Reader, his darling little popper, isn't just some common whore. No, they're just a speeeeecial whore, deserving of only the best treatment! Shadow Milk's words (he cannot help but through a dirty little nickname for you in there).

Honestly, the fact that Shadow Milk Cookie loves you just so, so, so, so much should be obvious! So what if his love is a little rough? Sooner or later, he'll have Black Sapphire Cookie show you the pleasure you deserve, as Shadow Milk Cookie's beautiful, lovely little pet!

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

@zepskies

You're welcome! I really loved that fic and I'm so excited to devour all of your Eomer fics to come 🤣

First of all I love the gif of Butcher and Ben. It fits this perfectly 😆!

Dear LORD you didn't have to do me like this from the onset with that opening scene of Butcher. 🥵

It was also entirely self indulgent 👀

Correct. 👆🏽 Why is it that rugged men in their 40s attract me more than men my own age. 🫠🫠

This is such a vibe, 24/7 😭 Why do no age appropriate guys look the way these men do? Why are all these men in their 40's out here serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner and all the age appropriate men barely serving snack time (LMAO)? Someone explain it to me!

lmfao Eomer, is that you? ("romantasy" ftw! 😏❤️‍🔥)

As Tradition Dictates was living in my mind rent free when I wrote that and I'm not sorry 🤣 Plus this reader lives very much in a fantasy world with Butcher on a pedestal and when I continue it (because I want to make this one a series lol) it's going to be more about her separating the fantasy version of Butcher she has in her head from reality. Ben might also help her with that along the way 😉

lol this is one of my favorite aspects of reading/writing in The Boys fandom - everyone's creativity on creating our own fictional supes that cause mayhem for the boys. 😆😆 (Not "a reenactment of the eighth plague" 💀💀💀)

Oh it's the best! I love making up superheroes (a lot of my OFC's were marvel based one million years ago 🤣) and finding random powers. Plus as @jollyhunter pointed out (and made me think more about), envisioning the scene where they realize exactly what the supe can do is hilarious! Because on one hand Ben isn't afraid of anything and Butcher doesn't really care, but the minute that someone turns into a swarm of locust... what are they gonna do? I know in my heart that the reader and Hughie were already in the car with the windows rolled up the second that supe started to multiply, while Butcher and Ben are trying to figure out if it's worth it. (it's not lol)

Can always trust you to give beautiful descriptions of flora and fauna. 🪴💚

Oh my word, THANK YOU SO MUCH💗! Seriously this compliment is making me cry😭. It's my favorite thing about writing, describing the setting and nature in the scene to try and make it a little more immersive. One of my favorite writers is Willa Cather and she inspires me so much with her writing 🥰

Sigh. I can deeply relate to that first part, as you know lol.

There is no judgement here bestie, I'm in the same boat lol.

Girl stop torturing me lmfao. (But actually don't stop though) "Big hands" indeed. 🥵 Ben saw straight through her though and I'm living for their dynamic! lol

LMAO 🤣 Plus I was overly gratuitous describing Butcher, I had to give Ben a little something-something 😉

And oh yeah! I love this dynamic, Ben with an inexperienced reader, who's awkward (entirely self-indulgent). I think the fake dating trope with Ben could be so crazy and also a little cringe lol

Oh how magnanimous of him. 🙄 Like yes, let's all jump (literally) on that opportunity to debase ourselves for his entertainment. ...But of course, there's also that whole ridiculously attractive factor that makes Ben difficult to resist, even though he's a complete asshole loll.

Isn't he being sooo selfless? It's sooo big of him to think about helping the reader like that. What a stand up guy. 😒

Oh yeah no. He's so attractive and such a jerk sometimes, but then you painstakingly peel back the layers and descover he's still an asshole, but just less of an asshole to you and a more lovable big grump. 🤣

OMFg. That last one is so real! 🤣🤣🤣 I feel for her for real. I wonder how Ben's actually going to help her self-confidence. 💗

That last one I cackled for two minutes after I wrote it down- it is so true. I think that particular situation has happened to everyone, tried to do something nice for someone they have a crush on, completely overthought it and then had to go hide in shame. 😭🤣 He's going to help her so much and I'm really excited with the sequence of events that I've planned out for the future series lol 🤗

Awww this melted me so much! She's not in love with him yet, but I think he's gonna bring it out of her on accident with stuff like this loll. Also big surprise on how he said she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to do. 💚💚 I half-expected him to suggest exactly what she could do for him if she was so inclined. 😆

He's already so gentle with her and I can't 😭 I honestly don't know what to call their dynamic because it's not enemies to lovers? Maybe it's "acquaintances to lovers" 🤣 with forced proximity. It's going to be the little things that wins her heart I believe 💗

I was thinking about sex and Ben a little bit for this fic (I mean I do that for all my fics lol), because fake dating tropes always have tension/rules made to provoke the inevitable (aka the fake daters falling in love).

I think that because of the way the reader is (being more inexperienced) Ben is interacting with a woman who's not used to a man who comes on as strong as he does. Because yes Ben is big and brash, and a bit of an asshole (🤣), but I don't think that Ben is the kind of asshole that forces someone to have sex with him. I don't think that Ben would willingly rape somebody and that's why I put that line in, because I think going forward with this series, Ben is going to understand that she's different than the other women he's been involved with. And there are going to be moments that he finds her boundaries and he might push them a little, but he still will care to uphold them. (If that makes sense? I'm also sorry that I got rambly lol)

Oh my God, YESSS. She's in so deep already and I can only imagine where you'll take this next if you choose! I can say for sure that I'd love to see how this little scheme unfolds lol.

Aww thank you! I'm happy you liked this one! Yes, I have decided to make it into a series and I'm still plotting it out a little. Tbh I built in little details in this fic I think subconsciously knowing I was going to make it into a series lol 😅 Because the fake dating is going to get them into a even bigger problem in the future 😉 But thank you so much for all your lovely comments my wonderful friend! And thank you for inspiring me with your Eomer fic! I can't wait to see the others you're going to write for him!! 💕

Promise Not To Fall In Love With Me

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader and a little bit of Billy Butcher x f!reader

Prompt: "I find him very attractive." /"I'm standing right here"/ "I know."

Requested by: @angrydragon90

Tropes: Fake Dating, Pining.

Summary:  When you first joined Butcher's team the last thing you expected was to develop a crush on him, but after two years of pining, you get a proposition from the last person you'd expect to care.

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: I'm gonna label this 18+ just in case (I don't really think it is). Some cursing, Sexual innuendo, References to sex, Over glorification of a man's shirtless body (I'm not complaining) Reader is a little anxious/anxiety/socially awkward? Drug use/Drinking (Soldier Boy), Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy (He's a warning, we all know it and somehow still love him for it).

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

Main Masterlist

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Prompt Celebration Masterlist

A/N: This is the third fic for my prompt celebration! This one was requested the incredible @angrydragon90 💗 Had to do something with a little bit of Valentine's Day spirit, but I'm going to be honest, this one turned into something that I didn't expect... let me know what y'all think. I also was thinking about @zepskies fic As Tradition Dictates for the more *ahem* gratuitous descriptions of Butcher 😉

Butcher’s muscles rippled over his bare chest and broad shoulders with every swing of the mighty axe down to the earth. Each strike of the axe against wood sent chips of bark flickering in the air around him like sparks. Sweat rolled down his sun kissed skin curving in the dips of his muscular torso, along the tensing muscles of his back, and through the dusting of hair on his torso, before disappearing into the waistband of the dark jeans hung low on his hips. 

Heat kisses your cheeks and darkens the skin the longer you watch him and you bite your lip hard to keep the appreciative sigh of the scene in front of you at bay. But it does little to stop your eyes which rove over the rugged man chopping wood. 

No man his age should look that good. 

Butcher props one of his feet up on the tree stump he’s been using as a table oblivious to your attention, shouldering the axe for a moment to glance at the stack of firewood he’d chopped, looking like a mighty warrior surveying his lands. 

Your mind starts to slip into a fantasy of a shirtless Butcher riding horseback across a desolate plain, his dark hair long, and a sword strapped to his saddle commanding a group of riders behind him to his every whim. Before scooping you up onto his saddle to ride with him, his strong arm wrapped around your waist, and his face buried in the soft skin of your neck, his rough whisper in your ear a grating caress as he-

You clear your throat, cheeks darkening crimson, and take in a shaky breath to dissipate the daydream that usually starred in several of your fantasies. The same ones that probably came from the romantasy book that you’d brought along on this trip and were too embarrassed to read when anyone else was awake.

He raises a hand to wipe the sweat from his brow, shuffling it back through his hair that turns a chestnut brown in the light of the setting sun that flickered through the thick forest surrounding the small cabin you were all staying in.

Oh to be a drop of sweat.

You think mournfully, taking a long sip of your lemonade out of a brightly colored bendy straw, the same lemonade that you’d made in hopes of enticing Butcher over for a break.

It had worked, but only for twenty seconds.

Twenty glorious seconds that you got to bask in Butcher’s presence so close that you could smell the familiar cologne and the scent of sweat clinging to his skin while he drank the lemonade and you tried not to stare at his bare chest for too long. You hoped that Butcher thought the flush on your cheeks had everything to do with the heat and nothing to do with all the things you were imagining him doing to you. 

And then there had been an additional two seconds when Butcher smiled at you and said “Thanks poppet” in the swoon worthy accent of his that made your knees weak before he sauntered back over to the woodpile and you watched him go shamelessly. 

Hughie says something to Butcher you can’t hear, but it makes Butcher laugh. He throws his head back with a wide grin that makes you sigh to yourself again, hands tensing where they sit poised over the tangle of wires in your lap. 

You were supposed to be working on a new gadget to help grapple up buildings, one that you and Frenchie had designed together, but you were distracted by Butcher. 

You were always distracted by him. 

It had been three days since Butcher, Soldier Boy, Hughie, and you arrived at the cabin in the middle of nowhere after a mission went wrong. The specifics weren’t important, let’s just say that there was a miscommunication and what the four of you thought was a supe who could turn into a single locust, was actually able to turn into a swarm of locust so thick you couldn’t see an inch in front of your face. 

You had a sneaking suspicion that MM and Frenchie had something to do with the miscommunication, given how eager they had been to stay behind at headquarters and do paperwork, and the secretive smiles they had shared at the briefing before your team left.

But needless to say, none of you had been eager to live through a reenactment of the eighth plague and all decided to lay low to consider your options, while hoping the locust supe didn’t decimate all of the corn in the midwest.

You shudder remembering the crawl of the scratchy legs along your skin, the flapping of millions of wings like the beat of a drum, the crunch of locusts underfoot, and the low pitched hum of the swarm that vibrated so loud it made you feel your body shaking from the inside out. 

At this point I would have taken a swarm of guinea pigs.

The cabin wasn’t the worst place you’d stayed at in all the time you’d worked with Butcher. There was running water and several rooms inside including two bedrooms with lumpy pillows and mattresses with creaking springs, a living room with a sagging floral couch, and a threadbare kitchen with dusty cabinets and doors that fell off whenever someone tried to open one. 

Outside the cabin there was a small patch of wildflowers that fluttered in the strong wind that blew from the East, an overgrown garden where tomato plants, potatoes, and herbs grew without care, and a small front yard that was more of a grassy clearing. 

Sure the cabin had it’s quirks, but the real problem was that the four of you were trapped here in the middle of summer with a generator that only did so much for electricity, but had no air conditioning whatsoever, which meant it was cooler to sit outside on the porch than inside the sweltering cabin. 

Overall, it had been three days of nothing, but listening to Soldier Boy bitch about the lack of extracurricular activities, three days of nothing but hearing the soft chuckle under Hughie’s breath when he texted Annie, and three days of nothing but you lusting after a man who was twice your age chopping wood.

Why was he chopping wood when it was so hot and none of you needed it… You had no idea, but you figured that the universe was finally throwing you a bone because you got to watch him do it.

The porch was cooler than sitting inside. There were two creaky rocking chairs that faced the overgrown “front yard” that was more of a clearing and the breeze did weave under the overhang of the roof to wick the sweat that gathered at the back of your neck, but the problem was, it was impossible for you to feel anything but warm, especially with what was unfolding in front of you. 

The weather isn’t the only thing heating up.

You think to yourself watching Butcher lean down to pick up another piece of wood, admiring the way his worn dark jeans cup his muscular ass.

Fuck, I’m just as bad as Soldier Boy. 

The truth was, you’d been crushing on Butcher for the better part of two years since the moment the two of you met on your first day when you’d tripped and dropped the giant pile of blueprints you were carrying to your desk and he was the only one who stopped to help you pick them up. 

After Homelander had been stripped of his powers and exposed for the narcissistic psychotic freak he was, you’d started working at Supe Affairs, thinking that it was the perfect way for you to make a difference in a world reeling from the revelation. It had shaken quite a few people to know that the so-called heroes they looked up to were in fact just as crooked as a line drawn by an elephant on a tricycle. 

But you liked your job… sometimes. 

Sure, the pay sucked, the benefits were dismal and the hours were long, but you didn’t care about any of that. You felt like you were making a difference, using the engineering degree that your dad had insisted on for something other than trying to figure out how to build a bridge that withstood the force of a punch from someone as strong as Homelander. 

And you hadn’t meant to develop a crush on William Butcher of all people, you swore that each day to yourself, but it happened without warning. He was nice to you, he always had your back on missions, and sometimes when you were working on something after hours on a mission- like the gadget in your lap- Butcher would sit with you while everyone else slept, nursing a glass of whatever it was he had, and he always made you feel like a valued member of the team.

Yes, he might be a little rough around the edges, but you liked that about him, that he didn’t pull punches, rather he told it like it was. It was refreshing in the world you lived in when everyone else was so afraid of offending someone that they just kept their mouths shut. 

But the problem was that you were younger than him and a little inexperienced. 

Well… a lot inexperienced. You’d never been in a relationship before, never really done anything before because there wasn’t time when you were in school getting your degree, not to mention you had spent the last two years imagining yourself in a relationship with a man who didn’t know you existed.

That might be a little harsh, he knew you existed, obviously, but rather he didn’t see you as anything more than a teammate or at least like a little sister. The nicknames that he called you were all some form of “kiddo” or “poppet.” Nothing like the things you’d read about men calling the women they loved in books or heard in movies. 

The most experience you had in the realm of love and relationships was binge watching Sex and The City (you could quote it by heart), flipping through Cosmopolitan Magazine and other articles about love on the internet like they were opioids, and reading through romance novels reverently as if they held the secrets of the universe. 

Not to mention the draft of the romance novel on your computer… but you’d go to the grave before anyone ever saw that, and if they did see it you’d take them with you. 

Reading about relationships was easier than having one, at least that was what you told yourself to feel better. It also didn’t help that you’d seen two out of three sisters married with kids, with the third one getting married in a few weeks and you without even a shadow of a date for the wedding.

That meant you would be stuck at the awkward reject table again with your weird fourth cousin who always came on to you and tried to show you the rooster tattoo he had on his hip bone, your dad’s brother who cleaned his dentures in public after he ate and his wife who always asked you what you were “doing” with your life and curled her lip up in distaste no matter what you said, and the gaggle of their ungrateful children who were always sticky for some reason and chewed with their mouths open while spilling food all over the table like cavemen.

Sitting there with them made facing the locust supe more appealing.

But even with the pressure of trying to find someone, anyone to take, you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell Butcher how you felt about him. 

Butcher glances over as if he can sense you and you immediately drop your eyes to the bundle of gears and wires in your lap pretending to fiddle with something that doesn’t need to be fixed.

Yes, because that’s the way I’m going to win him over, by making absolutely no eye contact. Perfect, masterful. What can go wrong?

What the books, magazines, tv shows, and movies didn’t prepare you for was how to find the courage to talk to someone of the opposite sex without feeling like your tongue was going to drop out of your mouth or like you were going to throw up. 

You wait a few beats until you’re sure that he’s no longer looking at you before you raise your head to watch Butcher again. 

Ben chuckles under his breath where he sits beside you in the other rocking chair, leaning back with one of his hands behind his head. His muscles tense in the black t-shirt as he adjusts his arm. 

“What?” You ask him. 

He exhales a long and obnoxious cloud of foul smelling smoke from the joint he has in his hand. “I think you’re a hypocrite.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re out here eye-fucking that asshole and you yell at me for staring at you.” He chuckles with a wide smirk as he takes another hit from the blunt.

How can he smoke that? It’s like 100 degrees out here!

“I am not!” You reply as loudly as you dare, glancing over to Butcher to make sure that he didn’t hear Ben’s comment, anxiety prickling along the back of your neck, but he’s still talking to Hughie about something. “And you don’t just stare at me! You come up behind me like some gremlin out of hell, with your big hands and-”

“We both know how much you like the attention doll.”

“I do not!” Your cheeks flare bright red. 

The only downside to working on Butcher’s team was sitting directly next to you. When you found out that you’d be working with Soldier Boy, one of your dad’s favorite heroes, you were excited to meet him, and then you had and he turned into another giant disappointment. He was loud, brash, short-tempered, rude, and was always either ogling you, coming on to you, smoking something, or drinking. 

You supposed it could be worse. You didn’t hate him, and you got along with him, but he was always around. The plus side was that Ben was the one of the only people you didn’t have a hard time talking to.

Yes, he was attractive, but his particular lifestyle didn’t appeal to you and for that reason whatever nerves you had about talking to attractive men of the opposite sex evaporated when it came to Ben. 

It was unfortunate that such a skill was wasted on him of all people.

“I just-” You hesitate, eyes dropping back down to the grappling device in your lap, not sure why you’re about to admit this to Soldier Boy when you haven’t been able to admit it to anyone else. 

Probably because I’m sick of singing the line from Frozen “conceal don’t feel” over and over in my head.

“I find him extremely attractive.” You mumble on a shaky breath. 

“I’m sitting right here.” The frown in Ben’s voice is prominent, but it only makes you roll your eyes at him. 

“I know.” Your eyebrows furrow together. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Why are you looking at him when you could have my full attention.” He leans forward, dark hair falling forward into his eyes, mouth pulling up in a confident smirk. "I mean there's nothing else to fucking do, might as well do me."

Your cheeks flush with his words, but you tilt your head to the side to study him, eyes slipping over his rugged features. Tracing over the neatly trimmed beard on his cheeks, the brilliant green eyes that seemed to glow, the way his muscular body filled out his black t-shirt and blue jeans, the soft dusting of freckles that contrasted the hardness of the man he was flecked over his skin, and his full lips that are curved up in a sinful smirk that would make even the strongest woman crumble. 

But not you. Ben was… Ben. He was brash, obnoxious, handsy, impatient, and disrespectful. 

At least, that’s what you thought.

Sure you didn’t work with him often, but you believed you had a pretty good grasp on the kind of person he was. You did, right?

“You’re not my type Benny.” Your eyes flick back to the project in your lap, moving your fingers deftly through the wires of the internal mechanism.

Ben recoils at the use of his nickname, but he recovers with a low chuckle. “Don’t call me that and I’m everybody's type.”

“Not mine. I don’t like supes.”

You weren’t sure if that was 100% true. You liked Kimiko. What you meant to say was that you didn’t like supes like him. Supes that used his powers without care for the consequences, Supes like Homelander who didn’t give a shit who got hurt as long as the job was done. 

And you weren’t a supe, which meant that if you were with a supe there was always the possibility of you dying during sex or dying before you had sex in the first place. Your job also presented the possibility of you dying before you’d had sex, but you weren’t going to let that hold you back.

“But Butcher has-” Ben begins to say.

“Temporary powers. Not all the time.” You correct, unable to stop your eyes from drifting back over to where Butcher has begun to start swinging the axe again. “And look at him. Fuck, he’s over there like Paul Bunyan, rugged, chopping wood-” You sigh continuing to watch the man who probably has no idea you exist.

Ben rolls his eyes. “I could do that.”

You don’t pay Ben any attention, because Butcher is bending over again and you bite the inside of your cheek hard. 

Ben sits there for another few beats watching you watch Butcher. The wind chimes that hang above your heads jingle merrily as the breeze picks up once more bringing the smell of the wild flowers and wet earth from the forest surrounding the cabin. 

“You know I could help you.” Ben says slowly.

Your eyes flick back to Ben from Butcher in confusion. “Help me?”

What is he talking about? Does he think he can figure out how to fix the grapple gun? The other day he couldn’t figure out how to open the automatic trunk of a car and he just ripped the trunk door right off.

“Get him.” Ben nods his head in Butcher’s direction, but you’re still confused.

“How?”

And why? Why does Soldier Boy want to help me of all people?

“Well, I could help you make him jealous.” Ben leans towards you, his eyes sweeping once over you as he does, lingering too long on your chest and the edge of the jean shorts you were wearing.

“And how would you do that?”

“Well for starters you could come sit on my lap baby, see how you like it.” Ben winks. “Take me for a little ride.”

“Pass.” You roll your eyes. 

“Oh I see you want to have a more advanced lesson.” He smiles, scooting his chair towards yours, a dull scrape of wood on wood, so now his knee is touching yours. “He could catch an earful of us tonight. I’d be happy to fuck you. It’d give me something to do.” Ben takes another hit of his joint, the smoke making you scrunch your nose in distaste, while he gives you an appreciative once over. “Fuck knows the only entertainment I’ve had for three fucking days is my hand and it would be good to have a nice tight-“

“No thanks.” You interrupt, face flushing when you imagine what he was about to say.

Ben stiffens in surprise. “What?”

“I’m good.” You shrug. “I’m gonna get him the old fashioned way.”

The same old fashioned way that I’ve been using for the past two years and had absolutely no results.

“And what way is that? Pining after him and hoping that one day he’ll finally notice you?” Ben scoffs. “I can see how well that’s working for you doll-face. How long have you been working with him?”

“Two years-”

“Fuck, two years?” Ben sputters. “You should just tell him that you want him to fuck you.” 

“That won’t work.”

Ben’s face scrunches in confusion, the joint clasped in between his thumb and forefinger forgotten. “Why the hell not?”

“Because-” You glance down at your hands, thumb running along the jagged edge of the grappling hook slightly embarrassed. The last thing you wanted to tell Soldier Boy was that you were a virgin. The guy would mock you endlessly. “Because I’m younger than him and he’s-”

He’s experienced. 

“So? You think that he hasn’t thought about fucking you?” Ben takes a long sip from the whiskey sitting beside his chair. “He’d be lucky to have a little piece like you.”

You blink in surprise. It was the closest to a compliment that Ben had ever given you. He did tend to compliment your figure whenever you were around, but you usually ignored that because he did that to everyone. 

Truthfully, the thought of dating Ben didn’t appeal to you at all, but the thought of using him to make Butcher jealous was not a terrible one. And at this point, you didn’t have anything to lose. 

Well… except THAT, but you wanted it to be special, at least that’s what you’d always told yourself.

You sigh, a little frustrated, watching Butcher out of the corner of your eye swing the axe in a glorious arch to the earth. You weren’t sure how to get Butcher’s attention. You’d tried the usual things…

Leaving the room as soon as he walked in to avoid a conversation.

Gone completely mute when he asked you a question.

Pretended you didn’t see him whenever he walked into a room.

Tried to bring him coffee, but then chickened out and drank his and yours and then immediately had to go to the bathroom to avoid shitting your pants while having heart palpitations.

Basically the social anxiety was working wonders on the office romance you wanted so badly. 

“Ben?” You say tentatively, hands tightening on the contraption in your lap. At this rate you were never going to fix it and Butcher was going to have to figure out how to fly. 

“Yes, gorgeous?” Ben raises an eyebrow. The blunt is between his lips now and he’s looking at you curiously.

“If we did pretend to be…” You swallow nervously. 

“Fucking?” He leans forward eagerly, eyes twinkling with interest.

Well… I’ve never understood what it meant when someone wrote “his eyes darkened” until this very moment. 

“Dating” You correct holding up a finger.

Does his mind always go to the gutter?

You remember everything you think you know about Ben.

Yes. Yes it does.

Ben leans back with a frown. “I don’t date.”

“Well it wouldn’t be real! You’d just be helping me make him jealous and it would be nice to have a little practice maybe…”

“Practice?” He looks confused. It wasn’t the first time he had in this conversation or within the last five minutes, but like hell you were about to admit without at least one drink to Soldier Boy the extent of your dating life.

“Yeah. I’m not the best at talking to people or-”

“You’re talking just fine right now.”

“You’re different.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you annoy me and I don’t know you’re easier to talk to for some reason!” 

“Thanks.” Ben says dryly. 

By now all the anxious energy has begun to pop and crackle against your skin at the thought of what the two of you could be doing and at the thought of you two actually pulling this off and you having a shot with Butcher. Not just a shot in hell, a real shot.

“But if you’re serious about helping me get him-“ You continue.

“I was.”

It was odd that he was the one who had suggested this in the first place, and even weirder that he didn’t seem hesitant at all to be doing this. 

Maybe he thinks that we’re going to have sex. Your throat tightened at the thought, eyes widening, your nerve endings electrifying with anxiety. Oh holy fuck what if he thinks that if we do this he’ll get to do whatever he wants to me?

You clear your throat, heart beating just a little bit harder in your chest. The entire situation was making you regret the extra cup of coffee you had this morning. “What exactly would I have to do?” You don’t recognize your voice. It comes out a little more wobbly and just a little more tentative than it was. 

You didn’t know what Ben was expecting you to do and you didn’t want to say yes, only for him to force you into sleeping with him like he’d suggested earlier, the most you'd thought the two of you would do is just make out a little-

Oh holy fuck then we’d have to kiss and I don’t know if I’m a good kisser and he’s definitely kissed more than one person not to mention he’s-

The thought made you flush to the roots of your hair. 

Ben hesitates, eyeing you and you wonder if he can hear the deranged monologue inside your head or if he can hear just how hard your heart was beating. You hoped not. 

“You wouldn’t have to do anything, doll. I’m not going to force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” There’s something genuine in his eyes when he answers your question, something that you’d never noticed before. 

Your mouth drops open in surprise. 

It wasn’t that you believed that Ben was that kind of man, but rather that what he just said to you might have been the most caring thing that he’d ever uttered in front of you. He was the last person that you’d expect to care about someone being uncomfortable or care if someone else was okay with everything that was happening in the bedroom.

Maybe I don’t know him as well as I think I do.

In all honesty you only knew the way Ben acted, you didn’t know anything about his life. The man kept his cards closer to his chest than a well-seasoned card player and his poker face, forget it. You couldn’t crack that combination even if you wanted to. 

Everything else you'd heard about him was through the grapevine of gossip at work. None of it was first hand.

Ben sighs and shakes his head at you as if he’s a little annoyed with himself for saying that out loud. “But I still think it would be easier if you just told him that you wanted him to fuck you. Would’ve worked on me.”

“I’m not good at that sort of thing.”

And it was true. You could take down a target, diffuse a bomb in less than ten seconds with a thin mint and a bobby pin, but saying something out loud like that to something else made you feel nauseous.

Ben hesitates again and in his hesitation the anxiety and embarrassment starts to come soaring back into your chest.

You were asking Soldier Boy, Soldier Boy, to pretend to date you so Billy Butcher would fall in love with you. 

Well kids, this must be what rock bottom feels like. I might as well just pray that the locusts come back to take me away. 

“Fine.” Ben states. 

“Really?” Your eyes widen.

He shrugs, but doesn’t answer.

“We’d have to have rules.” You blurt, and Ben makes a face.

“Rules? Never been too good with those, Sweetheart.”

“And I’d need you to promise that you wouldn’t-” 

You lose your train of thought in the wind chimes that rattle over your head and the sound of Butcher’s laugh.

“Wouldn’t?” He arches an eyebrow.

“Lose control.”

Honestly, sometimes you were a little afraid of Ben. You’d never say that out loud or admit it, but he was stronger than Homelander.

You knew Ben's reputation around the office- heard the hushed whispers of the women in the break room who said he was the best fuck of their lives, heard the horror stories of what he did to his old team, and had seen first hand what his temper was like. You also knew about his powers and worried that Ben might have a little bit of a control problem or at the very least anger management issues.

“I’m not going to fucking hurt you if that’s what you think.” Ben growls, his eyes narrowing at your insinuation. “I’m not some fucking monster, doll.”

“I don’t think you’re a monster Ben.” You sigh. “I just- I don’t have powers and you’re kinda strong and I-.” You take a deep breath to steady your voice. “I don’t think that you’d hurt me on purpose. But-”

Ben’s hand comes out to touch your chin, tilting your gaze up to him and stopping the bicycle of babbling you were about to ride around the block. Your eyes widen slightly with the contact, you weren’t used to people touching you, certainly not like this. 

Keep it together… 

“I wouldn’t hurt you by accident either.” Ben’s green eyes are focused on yours, and you can see just a sliver of emotion behind them that you can’t identify. “But if we’re going to do this you gotta promise me one thing.”

“What?” Your voice comes out like a squeak.

“You’ve got to promise not to fall in love with me.” He sends you a saucy wink that makes you want to punch the strongest man on earth, instead you settle for pushing him back from you.

But you’re not prepared for the wave of disappointment you feel when he lets go of your chin. 

“I’m not in any danger of that Benny. You’re not half as smooth as you think you are.” You start to lean back in your chair, but Ben reaches out to grab your wrist, his touch surprisingly gentle, the contact burning through your body, as he pulls you forward, so close you can smell his cologne. Somehow it's something that smells classic and modern at the same time, a hint of spice that tickles your nose and makes your throat tight. 

His voice lowers into a purr that vibrates through his chest, his next words expelled on a warm breath that weaves through the air between the two of you. 

“Sweetheart, you’re about to find out just how smooth I am.” 

What have I gotten myself into?

A/N: Again, not what I was expecting, but I really love this one y'all and I probably laughed way too hard at bits when I was writing it.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think! 😊 If you'd liked to be added to my taglist please let me know!

Taglist

@roseblue373 @livya99 @mrsjenniferwinchester @zepskies @waynes-multiverse

@jollyhunter

[max1461]

Well this user has me blocked. I think the CCP's development strategy was pretty successful but I'm not sure why they had to ban bishie boys from tv. My concrete solution to improve the function of the party would be just don't worry about the bishie boys on tv, just let them be. It's ok, and even good, for there to be bishie boys on tv.

Also go back to power sharing and institute more checks and balances this time so that it's harder to dismantle. I know the ML line is that checks and balances are bullshit but they really do work; government is a coordination problem, no man governs alone, and if you set up the system so coordination around an autocrat is logistically and structurally difficult for the various politicians and career functionaries then guess what, you'll get fewer autocrats!

I'm not even asking for democracy here! Democracy is 90% fake anyway. I mean, yeah, I do think that 10% matters, but whatever.

I've got a few more. How about roll back the War on Terror rhetoric and racial profiling in Xinjiang? How about get rid of the re-education camps to which people can be sent against their will without trial? That's actually called a "prison", and I don't think War on Terror shit will be any more effective in Xinjiang than it was in Afghanistan, and also, yes, I do admit there's a moral component here—I think that racial profiling and imprisonment without trial are bad, in addition to not being necessary or particularly useful for, uh, development. Would you condone these things in the US? On the grounds of development?

Well, the US is capitalist. Unlike China, which—

Ok, so explain to me how all the SOEs and like, limitations on financial instruments and shit make racial profiling very useful for development? It's ok to do racial profiling and imprisonment without trial if you have enough SOEs. For development... it's just part of the development strategy.

The party could maybe do some wealth redistribution? Build stronger social safety nets? Xi claims welfare makes people lazy. I think he's wrong about this. I also think one of China's biggest economic issues is lack of domestic consumption which is going to hit especially hard if Cold War 2 keeps ramping up. You know what increases consumption? A little welfare, a little stimmie, a little free money from the government. I do also think that, morally, there is an obligation to give poor people free money. But you can set that aside I suppose.

Wait, why do we care about China's development anyway? Why do we want the CCP's development strategy to succeed? Is it because development in China has lifted 800 million people out of absolute poverty, and that is *gasp* morally good? And we, being moral, might want to see it continue? Or is it because of a bunch of Marxist word salad that shakes out to the same position in different words?

It's the latter, probably. Oh well.

[plutosunshine]

The Shadow Side of Each Sign

What I am talking about here is not only the Sun sign but also its larger size: it is the sign at its core. You can apply this to any placement you have (but remember that depending on the planet, it can slightly differ).

The shadow side of Aries

The most obvious shadow side of Aries's energy is its impulsiveness. These people tend to act impulsively, even in very serious situations. Also, Aries may be short-tempered, sometimes even over small frustrations. These people may be self-centered, putting off a focus on their interests. One of the other obvious shadow sides is their impatience. They want it all and quickly. Aries's energy may be aggressive at times due to their enormous energy. They can be confrontational or overly competitive. Aries is quite easily bored and distracted, always searching for the thrill. It can be difficult to finish projects since they lose interest quickly. One trait that can annoy others is their ego-driven nature: they must be the best, sometimes even at the expense of teamwork. Aries people may be blunt, straightforward, and direct, sometimes hurting others unintentionally. Aries is a fire sign; it is brave and strong, so, at times, these people are afraid of being vulnerable and showing their weaknesses. They prefer action over deep emotional expression.

The shadow side of Taurus

We all know that Taurus is a very stubborn sign. Sometimes, it can be a burden since Taurus may be resistant to change, prone to stagnation, and overly stubborn, even when it is unnecessary. Also, Taurus people are possessive: they may be too focused on material things. It may be expressed even in relationships - when they are too clingy or unwilling to let go. Taurus energy likes comfort and stability; in its shadow side, it may be expressed as laziness and inertia. They like delicious food, luxury, and pleasure, which may sometimes lead to overindulgence. Also, due to their love for stability, they may become too rigid: they stick to routines and habits, struggling to adapt. It is the adaptability that Taurus people may lack at its worst. Taurus people see money as security, so they may sometimes become greedy and too focused on that. Also, it is worth mentioning their jealousy. They may feel threatened when others succeed, or their relationships are at risk. Taurus often refuses to step out of their comfort zone, which leads to resistance to growth. Lastly, I would like to mention their ability to hold grudges forever. They are slow to forgive, and it takes a long time for them to let go.

The shadow side of Gemini

We all know about the inconsistency of Gemini. They may start a lot of things at the same time and finish none of them. They are easily distracted and bored, so it is difficult to stick with one thing. Also, they may be superficial: sometimes, it is too boring for them to dig deep. Gemini constantly seeks new stimulation, which leads to jumping from one thing to another. Gemini loves to share information, sometimes even at the expense of others, which leads to gossiping. The trait most people don’t like in Gemini is their two-faced behavior: they can present different personalities in different situations. It is not because they are evil; they adapt to situations and can quickly change their minds and opinions. Gemini may be quite emotionally detached: they tend to rationalize their emotions rather than feel them. Also, it leads to overthinking because they get stuck in analyzing their emotions. These people are very charming and good with words, which, at its worst, may lead to manipulations. 

The shadow side of Cancer

Cancer rules emotions and feelings, so it is no surprise that Cancer is moody. Their emotions change rapidly, making them unpredictable. One of the main shadow sides of Cancer is their over-sensitivity, which leads to taking things personally and holding grudges. They are vulnerable and get hurt easily. Also, Cancer struggles to let go of people and situations, even when it's unhealthy for them. Cancer may be passive-aggressive since they don't want to express their anger directly and don't address issues head-on. Cancer is very sensitive, and they fear rejection, even if it is small. This leads to withdrawal and building walls to avoid emotional pain. Cancer loves their loved ones and wants to protect them even at the expense of their well-being. Cancer is emotional, so at its worst, they use their emotions to manipulate others or get their way. These people love the past: it is a nostalgia trap; they may live in the past, struggling to embrace the present. Lastly, Cancer always needs validation to feel secure and protected.

The shadow side of Leo

We all know that Leo loves themselves. At its worst, it can lead to ego-centric behavior. They crave attention and validation to feel worthy. Also, Leo may be arrogant, believing they are always right or even superior to others. These people are dramatic: they can exaggerate situations for emotional effect. Leo is stubborn; they want to prove their point even when they know they are wrong. Leo needs to be the center of attention, so others may perceive them as attention-seeking. Leo doesn’t like to show vulnerability and struggles to apologize when it is needed. They feel threatened when someone outshines them because, as we remember, they want all the attention. Leo wants things done their way and can be prone to dominate others. They risk a lot when overconfident, which can lead to consequences. Lastly, their self-worth is tied to external validation and praise. 

The shadow side of Virgo

One of the obvious shadow sides of Virgo is their perfectionism. They hold impossibly high standards for themselves and others. Which leads to their next shadow side — over-criticism. They notice all the flaws and aren’t afraid to tell others. Virgo is an anxiety-prone sign: they overthink a lot and worry about every little detail. They need to control everything: they want everything done in the ‘right’ way. Also, Virgo can be very harsh toward those who don’t meet their expectations. Virgo is a sign that is obsessed with productivity and struggles to relax. They tend to rationalize their feelings and emotions, leading to preferring logic over feelings, making them seem cold and unapproachable. Despite their critical and perfectionist nature, they often feel not enough and doubt themselves. In addition, Virgo tends to downplay their own achievement and worth. Lastly, it is extremely difficult for Virgo to relax, let go, and go with the flow.

The shadow side of Libra

We all know how indecisive Libra can be. They struggle to make decisions, often fearing conflict or regret. Libra is one of the most people-pleasing signs. They put the needs of others first, and often at their own expense. Libra hates conflicts and aggression; they prefer peace and harmony so much that they suppress their true feelings not to conflict with others. At its worst, Libra may be too focused on appearances, charm, and social status, making them superficial. These people often depend on their relationships, whether it's romantic or platonic, too much. They rely on relationships for a sense of identity and validation. Libra is afraid of quitting the relationship because they avoid being alone. Lastly, Libras may use their charm and diplomacy to get their way, which may lead to manipulations. 

The shadow side of Scorpio

Scorpio may be very jealous. They are possessive and suspicious in relationships, making them more complicated. They need to have power over situations and people, leading to control issues. This can be reflected in their relationships a lot. Scorpio hides their true thoughts and feelings because of suspicion, which makes them hard to read. One of Scorpios' most popular negative traits is that they hold grudges for a long time and get revenge when betrayed. Revenge of Scorpio is no joke. Scorpio is a water sign, so they feel everything deeply. However, they may struggle to express those feelings, suppressing them inside. Scorpio is a clever and deep sign, and at its worst, these people are the best at manipulating people: they use their emotions and psychology to influence others. Also, Scorpio is always suspicious: they await betrayal or deception, making the relationships with them hard. This also leads to them struggling to trust others and let their guard down. The shadow side of Scorpio is their self-destructive behavior: they tend to put themselves in dangerous or toxic situations and often sabotage themselves. Scorpio is an obsessive sign: they fixate on people, ideas, thoughts, or situations to an extreme degree. 

The shadow side of Sagittarius

Sagittarius may be very blunt, speaking the truth without considering other feelings. Others may perceive them as rude because of that. These people always seek the next adventure, which makes it hard for them to commit. This sign doesn't like restrictions and limits, so sometimes they may be irresponsible: they avoid obligations or serious responsibilities. At its worst, Sagittarius thinks they already know the world's truth and teaches others that. They are overconfident, dismissing other perspectives. Sagittarius doesn't like the slow process of achieving goals: they get frustrated with slow progress or details. Also, Sagittarius often takes unnecessary risks without thinking of the consequences. Sagittarius is a very free-spirited sign: they prefer freedom over deep emotional bonds. Lastly, Sagittarius tends to ignore the problem, running from it instead of facing it head-on.

The shadow side of Capricorn

Capricorns may be workaholics, prioritizing career and success over personal well-being. This sign may appear as emotionally cold: they struggle to express feelings. Also, Capricorn is a pessimistic sign: they always focus on the worst-case scenario. Capricorn is an earth sign; they don’t like changes, preferring stability, but it can sometimes lead to over-attachment to tradition and stagnation. Capricorn has serious control issues. They want to micromanage everything to feel secure. They are also quite materialistic: they measure success by status, wealth, and achievements. Capricorn is that sign that is always unsatisfied with their achievements. They want more and want it the perfect way. These people are critical of themselves and others. Capricorn doesn’t like to take risks because of the fear of failure. It can be sometimes a big burden on the way to success. Lastly, this sign sees playfulness and joy as a distraction from responsibilities, which makes it hard to relax.

The shadow side of Aquarius

Aquarius may appear cold and detached from others since they struggle with deep emotional intimacy. They can seem uninterested or indifferent in personal relationships. This sign is rebellious, but not always for the goal, but often for its own sake. They reject authority and norms, even when unnecessary. Aquarius is an unpredictable sign: they suddenly change opinions, interests, or goals. The most popular negative trait is their know-it-all attitude: they believe they are intellectually superior to others. Aquarius is a fixed sign, so it is no surprise they are stubborn: once their mind is made up, it's hard to change. This sign often gets lost in ideas and theories, ignoring practical matters. Aquarius enjoys being different, but sometimes, eccentricity is taken too far just to stand out. 

The shadow side of Pisces

Pisces tend to escapism: they may avoid reality through daydreaming, fantasy, or even addictions. This is a water sign, so they are sensitive, but at its worst, it is taken too far: they take everything too personally and absorb others' emotions. This sign often struggles to say no, which leads to emotional exhaustion. Pisces is one of the indecisive signs. They often feel lost while trying to make a decision. Also, Pisces has a victim mentality, feeling powerless and blaming external forces for struggles. These people can fall into cycles of procrastination or self-doubt, self-sabotaging themselves. Pisces can live in illusion, lying to themselves or others to avoid harsh truths. Pisces sacrifices too much for others, expecting unspoken gratitude, often at their own expense. This sign may be very chaotic and forgetful, struggling with structure.

[merryshobbithole]

What do your f/o's hugs feel like?

Breath taking. Literally. Sentomaru is the kind of guy to give big bear hugs when he's feeling playful, but for the most part they are very soft and warm. He's a pretty big guy, so even when he's being gentle I can feel that pleasant pressure that makes me so safe and loved. He likes to rest his chin atop my head while we hug

What are your favorite dates to have with them?

I love movie nights. Sitting together on the couch with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. I drift off more times than not, and he always carries me to bed and kisses my forehead before whispering "Goodnight, sweetheart". I know this because I may or may not have pretended to fall asleep on him. I think he's caught on to me, but he never brings it up

What are their favorite dates with you?

Definetely stargazing. Laying down on the grass and admiring the nightsky, listening to the sounds of nature. He likes to talk about constellations and the stories behind them, and I like to listen

What's the height difference between you and f/o?

He's 279cm (9'1ft) and I'm 150cm (4'11ft)

On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you?

I'd say 4, maybe 5. He's not very big on PDA but he does show affection in public in his own, subtle ways: squeezing my shoulder to get my attention, placing a hand on my thigh (or even holding my hand under the table) when I'm feeling uneasy in social settings, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, stealing glances at me...

What's your favorite feature about your f/o?

Oooh, that's a difficult oneee but if I had to choose, I'd say his hands!

What do you think they smell like?

Honestly? I have never thought about that. I'll think of something and update this...

What is your f/o's biggest love language?

I'd say acts of service and gift giving. He's not very good at expressing his emotions, so he shows he cares by seeking me out when he's got the time, sometimes bringing with him a little something. It's not anything fancy, maybe he saw something I liked or needed and got it for me, and many times he shares his food with me

Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them?

We do sometimes, mostly in his and when I come over to see him. Sleeping with him in winter is the best since his body temperature is naturally very warm and he loves being the big spoon, but during summer it's best if we either sleep on opposites sides of the bed or apart. We still get back together to wish each other good morning, though (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o?

He participates in Sumo matches in his spare time (and I stand first row to cheer him on) 🗣️

What's the dynamic that you and your f/o have?

Those two awkward idiots who are into each other and everyone is able to see it but them because they're too shy and insecure. Also the short-tempered "Ew, people" introvert (him) and the people pleasing "Oh, no. People..." introvert (me)

What does your f/o do for you when you're having a bad day?

He's a great listener and the kind of person to provide solutions right off the bat, but he knows judging by my expression while he talks when I need comfort instead of logical approaches to the problem

Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like?

I! Love!! Holding!!! Hands!!!!

As a matter of fact, it's the one (obvious) PDA we're comfortable with. We're not the kind of couple to do kissing in public. Holding hands with him is nice, but again his body temperature makes his palms sweaty fast. Not like I mind <3

Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where's their favorite place to kiss?

He loves those! Only in private, though. His favorite place is my nose. He says it's very round and cute... ( ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

Vice versa, do YOU like giving THEM little kisses? If you, where's YOUR favorite place to kiss?

I ADORE giving him little kisses! Similarly to him, I feel most comfortable doing it in a more private setting. My favorite place to kiss is his cheek!

What's your favorite leisure activity to do with your f/o?

Training! I'm not a very sporty person, but I enjoy keeping him company while he's training even if I'm doing my own thing

What's your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What's your favorite nickname that they use for you, if they have one?

His compliments are more "practical", if that's the right word. He praises me when I push through or when I get something right. His way of complimenting my appearance is subtler, but it's my favorite, nonetheless. As for nicknames, he's not the kind of guy to use them, but he does call me "sweetheart" from time to time. Only in private, though

What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What's your favorite nickname to call them?

I'm horrible at giving compliments. When he does something I find attractive or puts on something nice, I short-circuit and panic. Me personally I like to call him Sen. It's just the shortened version of his name, but I think it's cute!

I want everyone to have the chance to ramble about their romantic f/os, so I'm gonna make a reblog game where yall can answer the plethora of questions I'm gonna toss down. Any of the questions you want to answer, as little or as much as you'd like!! I'll read them all. PR.O.SHIP DNI!!! AT ALL! GET OUT-

SO!! SELFSHIPPERS! RIDDLE ME THIS:

What do your f/o's hugs feel like?

What are your favorite dates to have with them?

What are their favorite dates to have with you?

Do you have any songs that remind you of them? Do they have any songs that make them think of you?

What's the height difference between you and your f/o?

On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you?

What's your favorite feature about your f/o?

What do you think they smell like?

What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love.

Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them?

What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o?

What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have?

What does your f/o do for you when you're having a rough day?

Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like?

Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc)

Vice versa, do YOU like to give them little kisses? If so, where is YOUR favorite place to give them?

What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o?

What is your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What is your favorite nickname that they for you, if they have one?

What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What is your favorite nickname to call them?

Okay I can't wait to see some answers!! Feel free to reblog as many times with as many f/os as you want. ANYONE CAN PARTICIPATE! SEEING THIS POST IS AN INVITATION FOR YOU!!

People I'd like to see answer this off the top of my head (but don't have to!!): @moxanji-real @one-winged-dreams @lovesickvalentines @graveluvr @clawingatmy-enclosure @starshakez @jpeg-indulgence @everynya @tropgothships @selfshipping-tboy @amelielovesamaris @pixel-comfort @fl0ralsxgar