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#also this could be all wrong for all i know but it's ok
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Hard hours are open and I'm ready!!
Size training with yunho and how it takes a few times for you to adjust to his thick cock whilst he's fucking you.
He'd be so gentle and so fucking proud at the same time.
heyyyyy so i know this ask is over a month old....but i got really obsessed with it all of the sudden 😭
and this ended up a lot longer than i meant for it to...
but anyway-
size training and yunho just go together so well. it’s like a match made in heaven.
because he takes so much pride in it. pride in the training that is. (though he is also incredibly proud of how massive he is and how much prep it usually requires for someone to take him…🙂‍↕️)
and i just can’t help but feel like he’d enjoy size training as foreplay. like of course he wants to make sure you’re comfortable and safe, but FUCK if he doesn’t love how you beg for him to fuck you probably.
i get the feeling that he’d take at least a couple…sessions…before actually having you try to take his whole length. 
he’s a patient man. and you know how big he is. you can feel it every time you sit on his lap while you watch a movie. you’ve had your fair share of tired nights when you’ve jerked him off in his pants while he plays with you through your underwear. 
but when you first got together, he let you know immediately that you might not be able to take him. especially not right away. and you were so horny out of your mind about this man that you had begged him to at least try. your desire had almost brought you to tears. but he stood his ground. cupping your face and kissing your forehead telling you that “you just need a little training, baby” and promising “i won’t leave your pretty pussy empty for long”
that first night is so important to him. he wants you to understand that he can make you feel good even without his dick inside you. his hands will 100% do the trick. they do it for him, too, to be honest. watching his fingers disappear inside you is almost enough to make him cum in his pants. and watching how your eyelids flutter when he adds a third finger.
he’ll use toys too to build you up to it. whether they’re your own or his, he loves to watch you go a little crazy every time it gets bigger and he loves to hear your gasps every time. toys aren’t his favorite though because it’s less skin on skin contact. if he could, he’d just use his fingers, but he understands the importance of buildup.
when you both finally decide that you’re ready to try and take him, he makes sure everything is perfect. he makes sure the sheets are fresh, the room is cool, and that no one even has the possibility of disturbing the two of you for the foreseeable future. and he sets the expectation that it might not happen tonight. but you’re determined.
he always starts in missionary. it’s easier for him to control that way, and he finds that’s usually where his partner is usually the most comfortable the first time. maybe he’ll even put a pillow under your lower back and make sure you’re as comfortable as possible. and he absolutely has lube on standby if it’s needed. he’s a big hand holder too, so he’ll grab your hand against your stomach and caress your knuckles as he lines himself up with your entrance. “we’ll start with just the tip, ok baby?” 
and he’ll push into you ever so slightly. the stretch is still a lot to take, so he’s so fucking gentle, he’s constantly reminding you to “breathe, baby” and he makes sure to ask you every time if you’re ok to go further. and he lets you gasp out your “yes” before trying to fit in another inch. he keeps the reassurance coming even if he can’t help himself from crossing the line into condescending
“good girl, taking my cock so well” “oh you fit me so perfectly, angel” “do you feel good, baby?” “yeah?” “oh you can’t even think straight anymore can you?”
when he’s about half an inch from bottoming out, you grab his hand, squeezing hard, “yunho…” you choke out. “are you ok, angel? what’s wrong?” you shake your head “no i…fuck…i can’t…i’m so close” and he feels you tighten around him at the admission. “fuck ok. hold on baby.” he presses his body up against yours and brings his lips to your ear, “we’re almost there, ok? just hold out for a couple more seconds” all you can do is just whimper and nod as he pushes himself in the last few centimeters.
“oh fuckkk baby” he brings a hand to your clit “you’re gonna cum” mhmm you nod frantically, burying your nails in his back 
“you’re so big” you barely gasp out. “i know. i know, baby.” he kisses your cheeks and lips as he plays with your clit. “can you come for me? please? come on my cock?” that’s all it takes for your warm walls to tighten around him and he holds you to his chest while you come. 
and part of me all of me feels like, as long as you’re okay with it, that yunho would want cockwarming to be heavily involved in the early stages of his aftercare. like he’ll flip you over so you’re seated in his lap. and he’ll stay inside you while he kisses your neck and shoulders. and making sure you get plenty of vocal affirmation “you did so good for me baby” “i’m so proud of you, pretty” “my good girl, you did so well” eventually, when he notices your discomfort at the constant stretch, he’ll pull you off of him and clean you properly. but at least for a little while he wants you to have a…physical reminder…of how good you did.
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nephilimbrute · 2 days
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ok since you guys don't know anything about my agent 8's personality, i'm doing a huge infodump on them. enjoy
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Agent 8; they/them, nonbinary — 24 as of current time, in a relationship with Agent 4 and Captain 3
they're pretty, but also one of the worst people you'll meet. everyone who met them has had something terrible happen to them, basically a bad omen...yet they still think they're a saint! 8 is very narcissistic, but also very self-critical. they think they can be the only one to do something, that they're the best at it...but they know this is wrong, so they hate themself for it
they think they're a very fragile and innocent being, like a deer. they want to live a calm and steady life, no excessively loud or overwhelming sounds and music, just them and their close ones. they enjoy writing poetry and creating art to the likes of vincent van gogh, but also impressionism in general. they have a very bad memory now, so they want to capture the present time as best as they can if it ever gets worse. often times, 8 thinks about any big events that are coming up in the near future (concerts, festivals, etc.). they don't like to think about the future outside of these things (was team present if that wasn't obvious)
they used to be full of emotion, expressing and voicing their thoughts well. but slowly over time, they've became numb to most things to prevent themself from being embarassed by...sadness. they think being upset is embarassing, and are easily annoyed by gloomy people. they have such little sympathy, but it still exists. they are capable of love! it's not hard to crack through their shell, nor do they even have one. 8 themself is aware of how they've changed over the years, and they want to go back to how they used to be; loving, sympathetic, mindful of others. they do feel very sorry for the change in their personality, but the partial sanitization that was done to them makes it difficult to revert to their old self
8 feels like they're putting up a front when they want to be nice, and, they can be compassionate and apologetic sometimes. they deeply wish for anyone who recognized them pre-octo expansion to forgive them, even if they did nothing wrong
because of the whole octo expansion situation, 8 has developed truman syndrome, paranoia, and heavily dislikes anything involving a smart AI or robotics. this is one of the reasons why marina pisses them off so badly. to 8, they think that they've caused no harm, and every mistake they've done was not entirely their fault. they make a lot of people uncomfortable in some way without touching anyone or saying anything. despite all that, they respect people's personal space a lot!..other than pearl and marina, who they used to watch sleep before being kicked out
now, onto their relationships. 8 is doing fine with agent 4, he's nice to them so they like him... but so is cap3, yet 8 might be one of the worst things that ever happened to her. cap3 really wants some alone time and hates being stared at, and 8 does the exact opposite of that. they don't touch her at her request, but they Will stare at her whenever she's doing anything, at any given time. they don't process in their mind that they want to make her uncomfortable, they just sort of...do?
^ i only limited this to a bit so i won't delve Too deep and go off topic. you can ask about that if you want
i guess you could say they have some kind of parental issues? i don't know, they can't remember who their biological parents are anyways. they have a strong attachment to marina though, can't decide if they wanna be her or want her to adopt them. kind of "eh" with pearl, still respects him nonetheless
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congratulations! if you've read until the end, here's a human 8 doodle :3
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lightlycareless · 3 days
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNL3PDf8/
I saw this and it made me think of Naoya. I’m not sure which kid this would be but this feels so much like Naoya in how sassy and done the dad seems about the situation. He also does seem like the type to climb into the backseat on the road to see what his daughter is saying XD idk I love seeing videos of dads with their kids and imagining it with Naoya
Awww, I love this so much!!
I already envisioned Naomi as a chirpy baby, always talking to her mama or papa, so this was just perfect!!!
warnings: fluff. Naoya and you are parents to an adorable baby girl named Naomi❤️ Also this is not exactly the same as what happened in the video, it actually inspired me to write something somewhat different, still related, but not identical... if that's ok 🥺 I still hope you enjoy it though!!
Happy reading!
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To me this sounds like it would happen a road trip, or anywhere where the two have to drive to their destination and grow quite unsure if Naomi will be able to handle such a thing.
But of course, she does! Kind of, Naomi is always one to entertain herself thanks to her wit and curiosity, either creating complex storylines involving her plushies, or sharing whatever crossed her mind with her parents—regardless of if they were fluent in babbling or not.
“—jump! Kitty jump!”
“Is that so, dumpling?” Naoya smiles, always enjoying listening to the voice of her adorable daughter. “And what else did she do?”
“Fly—no, sleep! Kitty tired…”
It was always endearing to see how the two interacted, like they had an unbreakable father-daughter bond you could only dream of having! Still, you weren’t jealous—no, of course not. If anything, you were simply happy they got along perfectly, God knows how guilty Naoya felt for his prolonged absences, so to see them so close… it made your heart soar with happiness.
Until Naomi eventually grows tired of being in the same sitting position for hours, and demands to be attended, which Naoya naturally jumps to do so.
“Papaaaa!!!”
“What is it, pumpkin? Is everything ok?!” Your husband naturally frets.
“Tired papa, hungry!!”
“Oh, I know what to do.” You say, reaching over for your bag to give Naomi one of her many pre-prepared meals—but she doesn’t want it, neither the milk nor the fruit; and that’s when both knew a break was due.
“Now, now—isn’t that better, princess?” Soon after finding a place to pull over, he cooed at her while gently holding her against him, watching her eat as Naomi glanced back at him, with those bright round eyes that let him know she was satisfied to be away from that uncomfortable seat and instead in the arms of her beloved papa.
“We should stretch our legs for a bit before continuing.” You suggest, to which Naoya enthusiastically agrees to—he had driven to a near lookout with the hopes of distracting Naomi (though it was more like rushing to find one, he wasn’t to stop in the middle of the road and expose his family!) and get a few more pictures of her; mementos to reminisce his loved ones while away for work.
“Look over here, little mochi!” you sang, waving your hand at Naomi to catch her attention and get her into the right position: a lovely picture of her and her papa standing before the beautiful scenery of the Japanese countryside.
“Alright, I think it’s time we head back on the road if we still want to be on time.” Naoya says, wanting to take advantage of the sunlight as well as Naomi’s now calm demeanor, believing it wouldn’t take long for her to fall asleep, lulled into deep slumber after being tired out…
Or at least that’s what either hoped, for Naomi, upon seeing her parents approach the car, quickly understood that she’d be relegated back to that awful seat, far away from dear papa and all the attention he was giving her—no can do!
“No!” Naomi cried, shaking her head. “No, papa!!”
“What’s wrong, Naomi??” Naoya, as usual, worries. “Are you still hungry? Or do you want to stay here a little longer—”
“Papa no go! Stay!’
“Oh, you don’t want me to go?” He asks, flattered by her request. Though concerned, because if he were to stay with his little princess, then who…?
“It’s ok, I’ll drive.” You suggest, taking the keys from his hands. “Go sit back with Naomi, our mochi needs you.”
“Are you sure, my love? We still have much to traverse.”
“I’ll be fine.” You encourage with a smile. “Now go, sit with her. I’m sure the two of you will have much to talk about!”
And that, they did, for Naomi wasted no time to jump back on whatever playful scenario she left pending, now with the addition of her equally imaginative father (no surprise where Naomi got it from) who made her playtime even more exciting.
“And then, the great Toji-kun appeared, defeating all enemies around them and rescuing Kitty!” Naoya effused, playing with one of her plushies—a stern-looking penguin that somehow reminded him of his cousin.
Naomi giggles, liking the addition of this so-called amazing Toji-kun into her games, alongside noticing the fondness her father seemed to have for this character for he’d always bring him along one way or the other, regardless of what they were playing—
Never comparable to her adorable Hello Kitty, of course, but she wouldn’t tell him that. Not when she was having so much fun!
And so, your chirpy daughter and doting husband continued to entertain one another, making the ride to your first destination quite enjoyable—it kind of made you sad having to interrupt them just to ask Naoya a question regarding your hosting reservation, but since they quieted down a bit this might be the best moment yet—
“Honey, at what time do we check-in?”
Only to realize their silence hadn’t come from observing the scenery around, but rather, succumbing to their own exhaustion, Naoya’s head rested over Naomi’s seat while her hand tightly heled onto his, for even when asleep she didn’t want to be far from him.
You smile at the sight of them, giving them one last glance through the rearview mirror before continuing looking ahead, hoping that by the time you arrive you’d still be able to snap a picture of them.
Until then, you look forward to spending the weekend with them, on what was Naomi’s first holiday as a family.
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Been wanting to write about Naoya, Y/N, and Naomi spending a holiday together ajkghkajgha I don't know what exactly, but you know, I'll figure out something :)))) (suggestions are greatly appreciated too hehe)
Thank you so much for feeding my domestic au. We just love a doting Naoya, don't we :') 🥹❤️ if only... Well, that's why I'm here for 🤭 still have more to come!!
Now, take care, and hope to see you soon!
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dragon-ashes1485 · 2 days
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TROP s2 ep7. A rant.
Firstly, this episode has been such a joy to watch, secondly, my heart rate is concerning.
Galadriel:
I loved the scene where she was in the cage, completely ready to die, because she wants to make things right. The scene with Celebrimbor was fantastic, at any moment I expected it to actually be Sauron, but the gentle way she talks to him and held his face like a child broke my heart. Phenomenal acting on both sides and the music was also amazing. Her kindness towards Arondir broke me. Her advising him against seeking out Adar was pure irony given her hunt against Sauron.
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Galadriel sneaking around in that orc cloak was so stressful, even though we know she lives.
She seems kinder than in previous episodes, perhaps a result of no longer being around the ring? Or maybe she's just realising everything is going wrong. Either way, can't wait to see where her character goes next.
Elrond:
This guy. I loved how at first he looked ready for battle, but that he was also terribly afraid. But something seemed to switch in his character when his horse was killed and his pure anger there really shocked me. Also absolute savage for sending that orc flying.
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I would like to take a moment to admire that he pauses to briefly mourn his horse.
The stunts that he performed are insane in this episode, and I love how Arondir keeps him safe throughout the later part of the battle.
"Durin will come" was such an important part to me, Elrond really looks like a young boy, as if he were sat on the beach during the third kinslaying again. I think the way that was portrayed was breathtaking.
And how he sits, looking up at Adar, completely ready to give in, broke me, he is utterly defeated. He has been abandoned once more (I know there were reasons but that's probably how Elrond feels). He then tries to stab Adar, but it is clear from where he aims for that he doesn't want to kill Adar, he wants to hurt him. His sigh when Adar got the ring kind of made me laugh, he's so done with all this crap.
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I can't wait to see the aftermath of this.
Minor characters:
Camnir: so glad he was not in this episode or I would have cried.
Vorohil: please let this guy live. I will be sad.
Rian: I am sad. But absolute props to her for that savage arrow in her final moments.
Narvi: he just watched his kin be killed by his own king...let Narvi be ok.
Celebrimbor:
Ow. I hurt. Charles Edwards is an absolute gem, no he may not "look right" for Celebrimbor, but his potrayal of Celebrimbors descent was amazing.
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Also, props to the set team for the scene where the forge transforms into its true state.
He tries so hard to fight against Sauron, he literally cuts his own thumb off. His own. Thumb. And when he's caught by the guards, he tries so hard to explain. I was so scared they'd just hand him back to Sauron until Galadriel showed her face.
I feel like I need to mention Mirdania. She was another product of Sauron's deception. Her death was horrifying and...I just can't even. Her naivety to believe "Annatar" about Celebrimbor, a man she greatly admired, was so sad, and then for her to spend her last moments believing that Celebrimbor had killed her? Ouch.
Celebrimbor tried so hard to escape, only to do what a true lord of Eregion would do, return to the only place he could protect it from, and the place he had just escaped. His bravery really shines through, and in the end it is he who comforts Galadriel.
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ps: shot on the left is fantastic.
Sauron:
Still a bitch. But now with Darth Vader powers for some reason. Probably about to destroy Alderaan. I have no more to say.
Adar:
Yea I'm expecting a full orc rebellion next episode. He doesn't care as much as he did about his children which is why they were loyal to him in the first place. Glûg stayed behind when the others went to fight so I think that says a lot. It'll be interesting to see where that goes. I also hate him now because Arondir.
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Durin:
Durin's speech was so middle-earthy I loved it. And then it goes to shit. I love that he got Narvi on side. The scene where he sees Elrond again means so much to me, there has not been enough of these two in this series and I really hope ep8 rectifies that, particularly after what happened (or rather, didn't happen) on the battlefield.
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I love that Durin admires Elrond's new hair, as he should, it is fabulous. ALSO WHERE IS DISA. I swear if Disa dies, then I do too.
Look at this dwarf in his element. Also eff his dad, his dad is a prick.
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He's really starting to come into his own, fighting against the evil. And you can see later how much his father's actions hurt him because not only does it mean he can't aid Eregion, but his father has killed dwarves. His own kind.
Amazon, please be kind to Durin next episode.
Gil-Galad:
Not much to say except from look at this boi in all his regalia. Love it when you see a monarch actually in the fighting, makes you like them. Especially as Gil-Galad has not been the most likeable chap this series.
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Arondir:
Anyone needs me, I will be crying. That's all I have to say.
Overall thoughts on episode:
Battle sequence was 10/10. The effort put into this show amazes me. Fantastic acting from everyone, namely Charles Edwards, Charlie Vickers, Robert Aramayo and Morfydd Clark (ok fine, everyone). Well done to all the stunt horses as well, such good horses. Bear McCreary's soudntrack shone this episode, including so many characters themes. Also the last ballad of Damrod in the credits!
I am both anticipating and dreading next episode. What will happen with Celebrimbor? And what of Khazad-Dum? How will Adar use the ring? And will we need a box of tissues?
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gaylorvader · 3 days
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Agatha All Along:Teen Identity Theory
Spoilers for episodes 1-3 and multiverse of madness
Disclaimer:Sorry if I repeat myself or ramble I'm writing this as I think of it. Also feel free to correct me on anything I get wrong or add to it.
Ok so this theory is very-
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-but hear me out. So we don't know Teen's name, or his background. Either the sigil on him stopped Agatha from hearing it or something else did idk(the scene in the car). But my theory about him is that he might be Wiccan aka Billy Maximoff.
Now I know that there are hints that he's Agatha's lost son but I feel like that's too obvious and might be a misdirect. My dad watched it with me and he also agrees that it seems to obvious.
I don't know Wiccan's story exactly so I might get some shit wrong, please correct me if I do. But from just quickly looking it up it says that Wiccan(Billy) and Speed(Tommy) are reincarnations of Wanda's sons.
They both had different families before reuniting and realizing they're twins. So Teen having a dad at least doesn't disprove him being Wiccan.
Wiccan also didn't know that Wanda was his bio mother.
Knowing Wanda she's very protective of those she cares for, very much a "the world can burn as long as those I love are safe" type person. So I think maybe subconsciously or an alternate Wanda(though I'm leaning towards the 1st)put that sigil on him to protect him from other witches *cough*Agatha*cough* cause The Scarlet Witch's kids would obviously be a target for people like Agatha, so Wanda would want to protect them.
And I know you might be thinking "but Wanda's dead" but I don't think she is. We never see her body and in media there's a thing of "if you don't see a body they're not dead" and we haven't seen hers.
Yes in Agatha's magic prison thing there was "Wanda's" body but one:we never see the face, and two:that wasn't real it was an illusion.
My dad is also a big Marvel fan and has seen MoM with me as well as this show and he also doesn't think she's dead. Didn't after MoM and still doesn't. And unlike me he's not a Wanda simp
Yes we saw an explosion of her magic in MoM but again we haven't seen her body. We've seen Tony's, we've seen Natasha's, and we've seen Vision's, but no Wanda.
And if Teen really did break Agatha out of Wanda's spell, Wanda The Scarlett Witch Maximoff who's basically a GOD, who else could do that besides her son.
And I mean he has the same fashion sense, so clearly they're related /j
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Also when looking for a good photo of him it seems like some other people have this theory so maybe it's not as crazy as I thought.
That's all I can think of for now, but if I think of anything else, either when the next episode comes out or whatever, I'll probably reblog this to add to it.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk :)
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eff4freddie · 6 hours
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After She Left | Ten
Words: 5k
After the dramatic expulsion of Steven and Wren, things settle down a little in Jackson. You've found a way to keep tutoring Ellie that keeps you out of Joel's orbit, and Joel is trying to adapt to his new situation at home. He'll fight hard not to feel things, but he'll always lose when it comes to his girls.
Chapter warnings: Angst, reader gets drunk but isn't out of control, reader is almost as bad at feelings at Joel is, lots of pining coupled with vague attempts to deny anything's wrong
A/N: Coming to the end of the second act now, which means things are going to ramp up again soon. Ya'll wanted emotionally tortured Joel doing penance for being a dick, and you got it!
Nine | Series Masterlist
‘Ok, who can tell me what the capital of America is?’ you asked, nearly saying ‘was’ before you caught yourself. Almost all hands raised in the air.
‘Washington DC,’ Dina answered, confidently. You nodded.
‘Excellent, and why was it named Washington?’
‘It was named after George Washington!’ Mika nearly screamed, because he liked a competition.
‘And who was he?’ you prompted, trying not to laugh at the way he was practically bouncing up and down on his chair.
‘He was the first president!’ Mika yelled again, and you grinned.
‘Very good, but take a breath my man,’ you said. He slumped, sucking in the air around him like he’d run a marathon.  
‘How did he die?’ Ellie asked, suddenly. She’d been quiet all morning.
‘He got sick, umm…a throat thing,’ you said, trying to remember your eighth-grade history.
‘That’s it?’ she asked.
‘Was he infected?’ Mika asked, suddenly panicky, and Ellie rolled her eyes.
‘They didn’t have the fungus back then, dumbass,’ she hissed.
‘Ellie!’ you gasped, surprise on your face. ‘Apologise to Mika right now.’
She looked at you, just as surprised by your tone. A moment passed between you, a correction, you realised, of a dynamic that had started to creep. You were her teacher and her tutor and her friend, and also for a while you had been sort of seeing her Dad, but that wasn’t a thing anymore and now you had to discipline her, and Jackson was a really fucking small town but right now it felt like it could fit on the head of a pin.
You thought, for a moment, that she was going to fight you. But you watched her deflate, the anger seeping out of her bones.
‘M’sorry,’ she said. You hazarded a glance at Mika, who was now almost completely folded in on himself.
‘It’s OK,’ he said. It wasn’t.
You waited until the end of the day to pull Ellie aside.
‘Ok, what was that before?’ you asked, and she shrugged. She had been quiet again for the rest of the day, not willing to be drawn on questions you knew she had the answer to, and when it came to math in the afternoon she had just stared out the window and drew circles on her paper. You held in a sigh. ‘Mika looks up to you, y’know,’ trying the time-honoured tradition of guilt tripping to keep a teenager in line.
‘I know,’ she said, looking up at you, then, defiant and angry again. ‘I know he does but how is that my job?’
‘OK…’ you started, feeling already that you were getting tugged out to sea by her riptide. ‘I think maybe we need to reset…’
‘Like, did he even ask me if I wanted him to follow me around like a fuckin’ puppy? No. And I don’t want him to. I don’t want to hang out with some stupid fuckin’ kid. It’s embarrassing. What about what I want to do?’
It was a lot in a short period of time, and you were torn on how best to approach it. On the one hand you should probably cool her down, on the other she was finally speaking up about whatever it was that was bothering you. On a third hand she was swearing quite a fucking lot.
‘Ellie…’ you started, but you stopped when you realised her eyes were growing red. ‘Hey, kiddo…’
‘Don’t,’ she said, holding her hand up to you. ‘Not your kiddo.’
‘No, but…but I care about you…’
She bit her lip, obviously wanting to take it all back. You felt a compulsion to wrap her up in your arms and hug her tightly to you, but you knew she wasn’t the type for that. She tugged on her long sleeves. ‘Why do I feel like this isn’t really about Mika?’ you hazarded.
‘He’s moving her into the house,’ Ellie spat, the tears starting to roll down her cheeks. ‘He didn’t even ask me what I wanted.’
It had been weeks since you’d been over there, Ellie choosing to come to you for your sessions. You had thought, initially, that she was trying to spare you from having to deal with Joel, but suddenly you saw it in a different light. You were respite. You were a port in a storm.
You swallowed your own feelings down, a little kick in the gut that would have looked a lot like anguish if you decided to turn your gaze to it.
‘He said she could have the spare room, but then she just moved all her stuff straight into his.’
You weren’t going to think about it. Not about her asleep in his sheets, wrapped up in his arms, his lips pressing soft kisses to her forehead while she slept. None of it.
‘Oh, that’s…’ you started, but couldn’t think how to answer that question. Part of you was howling, while another part of you was working so hard to remind yourself you didn’t care anymore.
‘I’m gonna move out,’ she said, and your attention snapped back to her.
‘What? Ellie you can’t…’
‘There’s a studio out the back, its got proper insulation. Tommy checked in. It has electricity. I’m fuckin’ going out there.’
‘And Joel is OK with that?’ you asked, and she looked down at her shoes.
‘He seemed kind of relieved,’ she muttered. You put a hand on her shoulder.
‘That can’t have been it,’ you said. She looked up into your eyes, and you plastered what you hoped was a confident expression on your face. ‘Can’t have been,’ you repeated.
--
You were restless. It had been a few hours since your conversation with Ellie and you’d been turning it over in your head like a puzzle you could put together if you could just find the right piece. It was silly, but you wanted to know if Joel had ever felt anything for you, or for anyone in the past twenty years, or if it had been Shauna the whole time. If he’d just been waiting for her, hoping and pining, and you’d been a convenient way to spend his time until she appeared.
It just seemed so fast, that they were already together. You wondered if they had ever really, truly, been apart.
You paced in front of your doorway. The nights were getting cold again, and it was getting darker earlier, and so you didn’t really feel like going for a walk. You wanted to go and see Maria and Baby Robin, but you felt strange about it now, seeing her with Shauna as often as you did. You had the strange feeling of having been corrected and replaced, a new version of you with edits, out and about living the life you should have if you had been any good at it.
You’d already eaten. The little makeshift library would be closed. You thought about dropping in on Billy at the wall, but the wind was picking up and you weren’t sure when Joel’s next shift was. You hated that you still navigated by his bearings.
At your front porch, you let your legs walk you where they wanted to. As you listened to the crunch of your boots on the gravel you thought of life beyond the wall, tried to imagine all the horrors Shauna would have been dealing with out there. She travelled with two men, and you weren’t so naïve that you didn’t know what that would have cost her. You wondered if she’d spent time in a QZ, if she’d had a job there. She didn’t seem like the type to be enlisted; she probably would have been too old on outbreak day.
You had to believe it was unintentional, her finding Joel and Jackson. You couldn’t think of any way it couldn’t have been, and you tried. So, what was it then that she had found him, in a world almost totally wiped clear, other than a kind of kismet? Who were you to interfere in luck that strong? In something so fated as to be almost impossible. You weren’t a religious person, not spiritual in any real way, not after everything you’d seen and lost, but even you had to respect when the Universe was sending such an obvious message.
You stopped, looking up to discover your feet had marched you to the Bison. Fair enough. If you weren’t going to ignore clear and obvious and pretty fucking painful messages from the Universe, you better not start now.
--
Joel was irritated. More than irritated, more than frustrated. Shauna was in his place all the fuckin’ time now, and he wasn’t entirely sure how it got to be that way, and now Ellie was talking about movin’ out to the studio right as the weather was turning, right as the cold was going to set back in, and he was going to go knocking on her door one day and find her frozen fuckin’ solid under some thin little blanket Tommy has scrounged up for her instead of warm and safe under his roof.
He stood out the front of his porch, looking suspiciously at the potted plants Shauna had lined up against the railing. She said it was about being homely, about bringing in a little colour, but Joel couldn’t help but notice all of her womanly touched appeared at the front of the place. Visible from the street.
He paced. He’d done another shift on the wall and normally he’d be desperate to sit down, rest his knees and his back. Take some of the pressure off his aching bones. But now his house felt different, like it wasn’t fully his own. He’d lost something. Another something.
Ducking under the side windows he made it way around the back to the studio, careful to push the door open just enough to slip in unheard from the house. He didn’t turn the light on, didn’t want to draw any attention. He stood in the middle of it, staring at the bare window and the cold concrete floor.
He’d been grateful for the peace, for a while. With Steve and Wren excised from the community things settled in. Shauna was getting back on track with the council, seemed to have settled more into her role as Maria’s almost PA, as Tommy’s kind of but not quite assistant. She hummed when she cooked dinner, some kind of tuneless melody that might have been a song he could recognise before she mangled it. She was no better chef than she was twenty years ago.
It had just come on so quickly, his history clawing out of the depths and grabbing him by the middle. Fast enough he hadn’t noticed until he was pulled under.
He heard the door creak and he swung around, bracing.
‘Sorry, brother,’ Tommy said, arms up in surrender. ‘Didn’t realise you were in here.’
‘Keep your voice down,’ Joel muttered, pulling his brother in and easing the door closed.
‘You in hidin’ in here?’ Tommy asked, and Joel huffed out a frustrated sigh.
‘Just didn’t feel like…dealing with anything for a minute,’ he said. Tommy watched as his older brother grimaced, holding his hip.
‘You hurt?’ he asked.
‘Nah,’ Joel dismissed, waving the brotherly concern away. ‘Just been on the couch the last few weeks, ain’t sure it ever had springs worth a damn but twenty years ain’t helped it none.’
‘On the couch, huh?’ Tommy asked, surprised by this little glimpse into Joels’ home life.
‘I ain’t with Shauna,’ Joel said, because he could read his brother’s mind, being so similar to his own.
Tommy nodded, walking to the wall of the room and leaning against it, one leg bent at the knee as he rested his foot behind him.
‘So what’s goin’ on there, brother?’ he asked, and watched as Joel turned away.
‘She just…she’s just suddenly everywhere,’ Joel said, after a while.
‘When you moved her out of ours, I thought…’
‘She said it was too damp, that it was makin’ her stuffed up. I dunno. She used to get real sneezy in the Spring.’
Tommy nodded at this. He’d been happy to have his garage back, but he considered now he might have been a little too keen to push her out.
‘How did I lose it again?’ Joel asked, almost to himself.
‘What do you…’
‘She was under m’roof, now she’s movin’ out here to the cold. We were a family, for a second, we were safe. There was a kind of…’
‘Peace,’ Tommy supplied, and Joel nodded.
‘I failed her again, Tommy,’ he said, voice thick enough that Tommy faltered. ‘Both of ‘em,’ he said.
Tommy didn’t need to ask who. He’d seen the change in his brother when Ellie started tutoring, had seen the way he was fighting happiness like he couldn’t quite believe it, like he knew all too well what it was like to have it ripped out from under him, to have it bleed in his arms. Knew his brother and that he was a fast learner, that he wasn’t often fooled twice.
‘You didn’t believe it,’ Tommy said, after a while. Joel nodded, fighting hard to keep tamping down whatever was currently trying to crawl up and out of his sternum.
‘Every time I look at Shauna…’ he said, stopping for a second to catch his breath. ‘She has her eyes, Tommy.’
Tommy smiled warmly at this, having noticed the same. It might have been why he offered Shauna the garage in the first place, so sure he was watching Sarah stare back at her uncle through her mother’s eyes. It had made it impossible to say no, and he hadn’t wanted to.
‘No…’ Joel was saying, ‘you don’t unnerstand.’ Tommy realised there were tears threatening to spill down Joel’s cheeks. ‘She’s there every time I look at Shauna, but she’s not there, not in the right now. Every time I look at Shauna I think about m’little girl. I think about all the love for her, cuz it’s still right there, Tommy.’ Joel rubbed at his chest, thumping over his heart. ‘And…I think about losin’ her. I think about those eyes going hazy starin’ up at me in that damn field.’
Joel felt his stomach roll, worried for a moment the memory was so strong he would conjure it in front of himself. He could smell her blood again, mixed in with the dirt and the long grass.
‘Shauna’s here all the damn time, and now it’s like it was all yesterday again. I see m’little girl’s face gone all pale, I feel her in my arms…’
Joel stopped. He didn’t have the words anymore, couldn’t trust that he would be able to speak them out loud. He realised he was shaking, that he was close to toppling over when he took a step back and had to steady himself on the bench. In moments he was wrapped in his brother’s arms, holding on nearly as tight as the moment they’d been reunited the first time Joel made it to Jackson.
‘I know, brother, I see it too,’ Tommy said, feeling his own tears tracking down his cheeks.
‘Shauna’s costin’ me everything. Teach, maybe Ellie… I can’t stand it, but I can’t… I want her near, Tommy. I gotta look after her, cuz there’s my little girl in those eyes, and I can’t fuckin’ fail her again.’
Tommy nodded, his words too caught up in his throat. All he could do was nod, clap his brother on the back a few times. After a minute he let go, rearranging his jacket and clearing his throat as Joel composed himself a few paces away.
‘When Ellie said she wanted to come out here I was almost…it almost felt like a good thing. I dunno…some kind of, separation maybe? From history and…whatever the fuck this is now.’
Tommy didn’t really understand, probably would never, but he agreed with his big brother just the same.
‘We can make it real nice in here, Joel. We can make it warm, make sure its dry. I’m already thinkin’ about rugs, Maria reckons she can sew up some curtains.’
Joel appraised the room. He had seen his brother repair worse.
‘She’s a teenager, would have wanted her own space one day anyhow,’ he rationalised, and Tommy agreed.
‘It might be good for you both, especially with…’ Tommy nodded to the house. ‘You really want an angry teenager in your house 24/7?’
‘Dealt with you OK,’ Joel said, and he was smiling again, if a little tentatively.
‘Ahh, I was a fuckin’ angel compared to you, brother,’ Tommy said. He slapped his brother on the back again as if he could push the shrivelled little kernel of loss out, shoot it out of his chest and onto the floor beside them, let it rattle around unnoticed, roll under a cabinet and gather dust.
--
You’d found a seat at the bar, the booths mostly taken out by groups or couples. You hadn’t considered that you would be so obviously alone when you first walked in, and you scanned around you to see if anyone was looking. To your relief, none of them were.
It wasn’t like you hadn’t spent hours of your life drinking at the Bison. But usually with Billy, or Maria before Tommy came along, and then eventually Tommy, too. But this felt different. You ordered a whiskey from Paulie on the bar, and willed your fingers to still.
It took twenty minutes for you to relax, exchanging glances with Paulie and feeling the hairs on the back of your neck tingle each time you thought someone was looking your way. A second whiskey in you found yourself caring less, the warmth running down your throat and into your chest. It was starting to feel more and more like a very good idea to come in here.
You heard laughter to your left, and turned to see Guillaume and Jonah chuckling to each other. You caught their eye, not able to look back fast enough, and they clocked you watching. They nodded to you, raising their glass. Embarrassed, you did the same.
It took a few minutes before Guillaume pealed away, leaving Jonah on his own. You swallowed, watching out of your peripheral vision as he slid off his stool and came to stand within striking distance of you.
‘Hi,’ he said, when you insisted on still pretending you didn’t know he was there. You felt your shoulders tighten as you turned to him.
‘Hi there,’ you said, trying to sound bright and easy but your tongue suddenly sluggish under all that booze. He was smiling, though, his face open as he moved to perch beside you.
‘Drinking alone?’ he asked, and you shrugged. ‘On a Tuesday?’
‘It’s after 5,’ you reminded him, and he grinned.
‘That’s true,’ he said, raising his hands in mock apology. ‘You go about your business.’
The way he said it reminded you of so many of the FEDRA soldiers you had worked besides, and sometimes opposite. Go about your business, uttered to the gathering crowd while a rifle wavered in the face of a thirteen-year-old kid caught stealing from the breadline. You blinked, those memories almost ten years old and still enough to jolt you right down to the bone.
‘You’ve been abandoned,’ you observed, your voice oddly strained.
‘Nah, I asked Guillaume to take a hike,’ Jonah said, shrugging.
‘You did? Why?’ you asked, and he put his head on his side to observe you properly as he grinned.
‘Wanted to talk to you.’
Oh, you thought. Fuck. Flirting. What was that again? You felt your face arrange itself into a look of surprise, without your instruction. Jonah’s grin faltered.
‘Unless you don’t want me to talk to you…I mean, if you want to be alone of course I’ll leave you…’
It was just so different. He was just telling you what he was thinking, and he was considering your feelings, and he was smiling warmly at you without giving the impression that it cost him something to do it.
‘No, keep me company. If you leave it’ll really look like I have a drinking problem.’
As he ordered himself another beer and a lemonade for you, you studied his profile. He was younger than Joel, either in his late 30s or early 40s – it was hard to tell because the apocalypse tended to age a person – and you observed that he had deep lines around his eyes from when he smiled. He was clean-shaven, kept his hair short except for an unruly curly bit on the top that looked like it had a mind of its own. His nails were neatly trimmed. You didn’t know why that mattered to you, but for some reason it did. He was good looking, you realised. In a conventional kind of way. In the real world he would have done well for himself.
‘I’ve gotta say, I was kind of scared to talk to you,’ Jonah said, and you caught the way he was blushing even in the dim lights of the Bison.
‘Oh? Why’s that?’ you asked, and he grinned at you.
‘I mean, you’re the one up on that hill teachin’ all these kids to read, about history and stuff, how the world works.’
‘You intimidated by a smart woman?’ you asked, and his smile faltered, slightly.
‘Intimidated…’ he said, as if he was tasting the word for the first time. ‘Maybe a little. Maybe just kinda shy.’
You genuinely weren’t sure what to make of this revelation. You let it roll around in your head for a while to see if you could make sense of it.
‘You worried I’m going to correct your grammar?’ you asked, and you laughed a little to let him know you were kidding, mostly.
‘Just not used to being so outgunned,’ he said, and oh he was very fucking charming when he wanted to be, actually. You felt your own blush creep up your cheeks to match his.
--
He went in eventually, ate dinner at the table with Shauna while she prattled on about her day, but he was restless again by bedtime, the couch and the scratchy blankets not appealing even despite the long day.
‘You could always join me upstairs,’ Shauna said, and Joel exhaled long and slow.
‘Ain’t gonna do that, Shauna. Told you before.’
Shauna shrugged at him, climbing three steps before stopping and turning back to him.
‘We’ll see when it gets real cold, Miller,’ she said, and he wasn’t sure whether she meant it to sound so much like a threat.
He decided on a whiskey, just one, to ease his body into sleep. He had generally been sober, seeing as though he had no hope of pills nor inclination to raid the infirmary and take from the community that sheltered him and his girls, but he stared at the ceiling enough nights to know he didn’t have it in him now.
There was a chill in the air, he noticed, as he walked silently to the Bison. Shauna was right, it would get cold in the living room soon enough. He’d have to check to see if there were heavier blankets. Put in a special request to Gollum next time there was a patrol.
He felt a little better, having talked it out with Tommy. He’d been finding it hard to figure what was going on, why he was so mad all the time, why he was dreaming of her again. It made sense when he said it out loud. Felt like he’d lanced some kind of mental boil, maybe a little. Didn’t feel so tight in his chest. He hadn’t realised he’d been walking around with a fist clenched in his gut until this moment, when it had finally, and ever so slightly, eased its grip.
The Bison was quiet, only a handful of couples and groups left in the booths. He’d taken three steps when he heard your laugh, a sing-song little thing that he’d first heard twinkle out of you when Ellie was reciting some of her favourite jokes from that damn pun book. His body turned on instinct to the sound.
You had your hand on the arm of one of Gollum’s men, his new patrol partner. You were smiling so warm and pretty as he told you some stupid fuckin’ story that had you giggling, light radiating off your face. There were a couple of empty glasses between you, your cheeks rosy from the warmth of the booze in your blood.
You were happy and you were relaxed, he realised, and he hadn’t seen you like that in a long time. Not since Shauna. Not since he…just…not since him.
Joel realised the clenched fist in his gut had only lessened its grip so that it could wind up a punch, hard and radiating right up to his solar plexus. He looked away, shame burning hard on his cheeks.
He wanted to march over there, rip you off the barstool and throw you over his shoulder, spank you on your behind as he carried you back to your place and reminded you who you belonged to, who wanted you.
Wanted to wrestle the little patrolman prick to the ground, kick a boot into his side and make him spit blood for the simple crime of having tried to take you from him.
Wanted to run over there, pull you into his arms and beg for your forgiveness.
Wanted to run.
He turned, fast, on his heel, pushing the door open and hearing it swing back behind him with a crack. He was down the step and out onto the street too fast to find out if anyone was following him, couldn’t imagine that they would. He let his brain tease him for a second that you had seen him, that he’d hear your sweet soft voice callin’ for him out of the nighttime, your little siren song.
He wondered what he’d say to you. If he had the words to make it better, what those would be. He sighed, frustrated with himself, heading back to his house and to the couch and to the scratchy blanket.
So many nights on that thing, staring at the ceiling and practicing what he might say to you. Night after night and not a single sentence to show for it.
--
You heard the door slam, momentarily drawn from your conversation with Jonah to wonder if everything was OK. You waited for the room to stop spinning, realising you’d had way more than you’d intended. You felt warm and kind of slippery inside, and you couldn’t remember if it was a school night, but your skeleton had stopped trying to crawl its way out of your body, and that was good enough for now.
‘You wanna keeptha party goin’?’ Jonah asked, and you blinked at him, wondering for a second what he could possibly mean.
‘You mean go back to your place and have sex?’ you asked, because the alcohol was making you blunt, even for you. You watched as Jonah spluttered, choking a little on the glass of water Paulie had insisted you both have.
‘I mean…if you’re…’
‘No,’ you said, simply. Not angry, not sad, not anything really. Just, no. You didn’t feel like it, weren’t sure you’d enjoy it when you’d had this much to drink.
‘Can I walk y’home, at least?’ he asked, and you considered it.
‘You might be more drunk than me,’ you concluded, and Jonah, in turn, gave this some thought.
‘I’d say there’sapretty goo’ chance thassright,’ he said.
‘If anything I might have to walk you home,’ you said. You were smart when you were drunk, you thought. Maybe you should be drunk more often.
‘Can’t do that, I’d feel lessofaman,’ Jonah said.
You were standing now, and so was Jonah, although he appeared to be having more difficulty with it.
‘Y’know the way?’ you asked, and he looked puzzled for a moment.
‘I do,’ Paulie said, clear as a bell, from behind the bar. ‘I’m closing up now, I’ll take him home myself.’
You nodded at this development. Yes, good. That made perfect sense. Everything did, all of a sudden.
‘Well then, I bid you…umm…adieu,’ you finished, with a flourish. You also spoke French when you were drunk, apparently. You contained fucking multitudes.
Out on the street the cold sobered you, and you winced a little as the world came back into focus. You had liked it when everything was just a little soupy. It had felt uncomplicated with Jonah. It had felt…good.
You followed the tracks in frost up the street, not stopping to consider whose they might be. As you got to the corner of your street you noticed that they veered off to the left, towards Joel’s house. You wondered if his lights would be on, if he would be up reading in bed, or whittling on his porch. You considered how late it was, and that Shauna was in there with him now, and you felt your stomach turn sour. You turned, walked the untrodden path to your place.
--
In the morning, a little packet of two not-terribly-expired Tylenol and a bottle of water appeared on your doorstep. More hungover than you could ever remember being, you drank the water and the pills down without stopping to question it. You marvelled at how well Jonah could apparently handle his drink. You wondered why he didn’t knock, or want to come in, but then you looked down and realised you were still in your clothes from the night before, and it made a little more sense. Your mouth tasted like you’d deepthroated a urinal cake. You imagined. You might have still been a little drunk.
Joel stood on the corner, watching you appear at your door in a way that he hoped appeared less creepy than he felt. He hadn’t slept, not a wink, so was able to get down to the infirmary first thing.
It hadn’t been his intention, but he was relieved to see you were still in your clothes. It wasn’t like he was curious, but he supposed that meant you had gone home alone.
The sun in your eyes, you didn’t see him. You let the doorframe hold you up for a while, adjusting to the glare of the dawning Sunday. It was really kind of Jonah to get up this early to come care for you. When you were human again, you were definitely going to make it up to him.
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agatharkn3ss · 2 days
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Why is Agatha lying?
Some spoilers!
.
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Ok, so it's getting more and more obvious that Agatha hasn't actually walked the Witches Road before. She always gives vague answers about it, almost like she recites them from memory (someone else told her these things?) and is surprised by the events and mechanics of the first trial.
Also, in one of the promos Teen asks Agatha why she allows people to believe these horrible things about her and she replies that the truth is far worse.
That makes me think that the rumour about Agatha trading her own child for a copy of Darkhold is also not true.
My theory is that her son must've been in some sort of danger and the only way to save him was for Agatha to walk the Road. She probably acquired the Darkhold by then - maybe she made some sort of deal with Rio, but my favourite theory is that Rio simply gifted her the book because they were an item back then. And/or maybe Rio wanted to trick her.
Either way, by the time Agatha's coven gathered, something went wrong. She got greedy/angry with the witches and instead drained their power (we see that scene in another promo). Alone, she could not summon the road so she failed and her son died/was gone forever.
To her this truth would be worse to Agatha for many reasons:
1) it would mean she failed at something and wasn't powerful enough. But she likes people to think that she's "exceptional" (this is the reason she gives Teen when explaining how she supposedly survived the Road) and she seems to derive her own worth from having the power and being "formidable". So in her eyes failure is not acceptable and something to be deeply ashamed for. Maybe that's why she craves more and more power, hoping it would fix her/make her feel better.
2) it would mean Agatha's own greed/temper/arrogance costed the life of someone she loved. We know Darkhold corrupts the mind, so she might be blaming Rio for giving her the book that affected her behaviour. But deep down she knows that Darkhold or not, she probably would've reacted the same way and she's ashamed of it
3) it makes her psychologically vulnerable and it scares her. She took the effort to point out to Rio that she's only "physically" vulnerable, but that's not what we saw in her "Agnes O'Conner' persona. Agatha likely never allowed herself to process the grief and doesn't know how to, probably still hanging on to the hope that one day she'll bring him back.
So rather than exposing the shame of all of the above, she chose to lie and tell everyone she did walk the Road and that the child was gone because she traded him for the Darkhold. She probably was telling this lie for so long - hundreds of years - that a part of her actually believes it.
Saying all of that, I don't like that theory and that the writers seem to be making Agatha's story all about her child. Because... doesn't that sound too familiar? Not being able to process the grief? Yearning for power to bring back her child? It feels like we're seeing just a re-write of Wanda, quickly falling into a trope that "every successful lady cop [witch] cannot have a healthy personal life" and must be longing for the fulfillment of motherhood...
So I really really hope that the writers don't go in that direction and that they stop making Agatha's entire arch all about child loss because that would just be so lazy and offensive - she's so much more colourful and deserves so much better.
I hope that all of that is just a bit of baiting to make us believe Teen is her son, when in fact he's someone else (Billy?). I mean it's Agatha's series and not Teen's or Wanda's!!! So maybe at one point the Road will make Agatha choose and she will give up the locket with (her son's?) hair and with that also the hope that she will ever bring him back. So it would stop holding her back and we can see her in all of her glory.
....And also so that she could shift all of her attention to a certain Green Witch.... *Pretty please*
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ninyard · 3 days
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Hii, I guess this is a question not only for you but also your followers. Why wouldn't it be ok to like aftg? Like I've seen people say is problematic? But the only thing I've seen criticized is how unrealistic it is and like is a book so... idk maybe I lack critical thinking on some topics so if anyone could point me where to look I'd love to keep liking these books while being aware of it's failings :3
this is an interesting question! i guess the biggest part of whether it wouldn't be "okay" for someone to read aftg would be somewhat down to personal tastes.
re: the unrealistic part, i think if you go into a lot of books expecting them to be "realistic" you'll probably find there's a lot out there that just... isn't. i myself think that 90% of the biggest arguments i've seen about it's realism are from people who 1) refuse to suspend disbelief for the sake of enjoyment or 2) go into it with a certain expectation as to how realistic it's going to be before reading.
you can pick apart a million different books and movies and tv shows out there and find "unrealistic" parts in them all. and what do people say is even unrealistic about it? the different languages that are spoken in it? the trauma all the characters have? i understand it, to some degree, but i think people who think that fiction that is unrealistic = fiction that is bad, are probably just reading the wrong things. and that's fine. it's personal taste. but not everything has to be realistic for someone to enjoy it. that's just me.
as for the problematic aspects of it, i guess my gut instinct is to say that's once again down to personal perspective and opinion. i personally don't like or agree with some things in it, but i don't know if i can definitively say, oh it's problematic for this reason or that reason. are there triggering topics in aftg? are there uncomfortable scenes and problematic things that the characters do and say? are there bad people who do bad things? yes. that's just the truth. does that make the books themselves inherently problematic? i don't think so. but maybe i'm wrong with that. i don't know.
if you try to justify and explain and dissect everything that happens or is said in a book like aftg, i think you can probably find yourself in a real rabbit hole of is this appropriate? is this okay? is this problematic? i just feel that, it's a book, that has shitty things said and done in it, and it's up to you yourself whether you think those shitty things cross the line of being problematic or not. there's limits to everything, and while i dont think aftg crosses those limits, it doesn't mean i think it's perfect or an exception to criticism.
i guess what i mean is that if you try to find things wrong with aftg, you'll probably find something. it's not perfect. you could pick it apart if you really wanted to. but i suppose i'm just happy enough to enjoy it without doing that because it is what it is. it's a book about people who have had shitty things happen in their lives, about people who say and do shitty things, but i don't think it glamorises or makes those shitty things okay. me liking the series also doesn't mean i'm 100% a-okay super cool with everything that happens in it either. i am not the media i consume or enjoy.
but it's also really important to listen to people who talk about things that do personally hurt them or make them feel like they're not seen for who they are or what they've been through. i can say that i personally am not offended or hurt by 99% of what happens, but that doesn't invalidate someone who was. that doesn't invalidate other people who aren't me who say "it's problematic for x reason". i'm happy to share any insights into this if anyone wants to send them my way!
maybe this isn't a good answer to your question and i'm still not sure if i've gotten my point across properly. there's a million things problematic about aftg, i guess, but it's just about where you draw the line between the problematic content inside the series, and it maybe being a problematic series from the outside. i don't know exactly where to point you towards to have a balanced understanding of why it might be okay vs not okay. i'd just say to keep an open mind and listen to what people say when they raise their concerns about it.
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glisten-inthedark · 2 days
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This is a Rant, continue at your own risk
Look, I'm not even going to lie I've read a bunch of things from a Mil*even blog that has both like seriously peeved, so if you don't want to be hit with a bunch of thoughts just scroll by and be on your marry way because now I'm going to speak my mind. Excuse moi.
Will Byers is one of the most annoying, unimportant characters of the show.
Ok, ok. Cool, cool, cool. I'm guessing I watched another first episode then. I guess the pilot of the show was actually called "The Boy on The Woods" or "The Vanishing" or whatever other thing that wasn't actually "The Vanishing of Will Byers". Ok, my bad. Mistakes can happen.
But if that's the case then I'm pretty sure I watched the whole wrong season, the one in which, you know, they spent 8 episodes aka one week focusing on trying to find this very unimportant child. And I'm guessing it was the magical wind that opened the shed door too, got it.
And if asked, I also want to state for the record that you know, Harry Potter is also unimportant and not the boy who lived, and that Luke Skywalker is equally unimportant and not the one that the prophecy spoke off.
The whole story starts with the disappearance of Will Byers, and it progresses as he is possessed by the Mind Flayer and then starts to feel it and Vecna by the end of season 4.
And him being able to feel the Mind Flayer and Vecna. Does that sound oddly familiar? Yeah, if you're thinking Harry + Voldemort I'm sure you can see where I'm going with it. But in this case, Vecna, unlike Voldemort, (and oh, both lack noses and have names that start with V's) doesn't appear to want to kill Will (that we know for now) so maybe there's a fucking reason?
Now that we got the first part covered, let's talk about how he's supposedly annoying.
Will Byers is the most caring, selfless character of the show. He had his hopes, his dreams, torn apart when he got taken.
When he came back, all he wanted was to believe that he could have a part of his childhood back. That's it.
All Will has ever wanted was for Mike to be in his life.
All he ever wanted was to be Mike's best friend. Will doesn't expect Mike to love him back, he stopped believing that would happen long time ago.
To say he is annoying when he has constantly forgiven Mike over and over again is just petty.
Vecna is more afraid of Eleven
Well, obviously. But that's because I don't think the purpose Will serves is to stop Vecna, when he was talking about the Mind Flayer he explicity states that it wants to kill everyone else. (The except him is very much implied, though). So why is that?
Mike and El's relationship doesn't have issues
You know what I find it interesting? Is that this is so clearly not true that I can't understand what they mean.
Ok, let's forget about the whole "not spend time with his friends" bit. We know how relationships can be, especially when they're young, so ok I can understand that.
What I can't understand is how they can think it's normal for Mike and El to continuously lie to each other. And the lies aren't small, they are big lies.
El lies about every single aspect of her life in Lenora, she goes as far as to beg for her bully to help her because she doesn't want to break the facade.
Mike makes El feel like she's a monster. Like he's scared of her. She tells him how he says doesn't say he loves her and his first response isn't to say: What you're talking about?
Its to say: I say it and we are provided with the information that he can't even write it. Almost like what he says doesn't align with we know to be fact. He then goes on to say that she's being ridiculous, and that she knows what he thinks (notice the lack of the world feels) about her. Mike, she isn't questioning the idea you have of her, she's questioning your love for her when she shouldn't have.
If she doesn't feel secure enough in that love, there might be a reason right? But what do I know?
Will needs to learn to accept himself and needs to understand Mike loves Eleven and that's his arc.
Ok, let's say this is true.
Let's claim, for the sake of argument, that this is the point and recap from there.
Mike and Eleven didn't actually have a conversation by the end of the season, their main issue, which even is how Mike feels or doesn't feel but that they don't understand each other, has yet to be resolved.
Saying I love you didn't help El win, and there are lies in what he says to her as well. He claims that he knew from the moment he met her that he loved her, but if that's the case then his actions directly contradict the claim.
If he knew he loved her then, why would he try to send her away to a mental institution? Why would he be so rude towards her?
I could write this off as him not knowing he loved her, but he says that knew that he did so I'm guessing I'm slightly confused? Which one is it?
If he told Eleven that he feel in love with ler little by little, that he's learned all the things there is to love about her I could buy it, but with the way it was worded it doesn't seem to be the case.
It appears to me that people are under the impression that Will believes that one day Mike could love him back. He may have believed that during season 2, but by the time season 3 and 4 came, this stopped being the case.
Will was ready to sacrifice everything, even his art, for Mike. He's not living under the illusion he'd ever have a happy ending, he doesn't seem to think he'll ever find love, not like what he has with Mike.
So, what is the song and dance all about? If this is the case already, we are already at this point, all they needed to do was get Mike to tell Will.
"Look, El doesn't know shit about DnD so I know you weren't talking about her. Were those words yours? Yeah. Ok, Will... You're very important to me, but I love El. I accept you, and you'll always be my friend, but I can't love you like that". That's it. Would it hurt? Yes. But again, Will already thinks this is what he's going to hear anyway.
Byler bating vs Queerbating
I made this joke before but at this point I don't even think it's a joke, more of an statement.
I'd call queerbaiting if they hadn't established Will as queer, but the fact that they did is what gives me pause. Look children, I've been down this road before ok. Been there, done that.
They have established Will as queer and at no point did it feel like they were making him the punchline of a cruel joke.
Say that Mike doesn't feel the same and Will needs to let him go. Again. WE ALREADY THINK THIS IS THE CASE. Most of Bylers believed that to be fact in 2022. People were angry, upset and all that jazz.
Sure, Will learning self acceptance is important, but clinging onto that and forgetting his romantic arc would be nothing short of cruel. Will doesn't want some random guy. He said it so himself. Mike is the only person that has ever made him feel good about himself, Mike is the only person he'll always need. This isn't some passing crush.
Its the choice of making Will so in love with Mike that legit has me questioning these writers if the whole point was to get El and Mike back together.
I just have more to say but I need sleep. I might come back to this tomorrow. You are all welcomed to share your thoughts on my points and disagree if that's the case.
I love hearing other people's opinions on things
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eri-pl · 2 days
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Silm reread 20: the Rains of Casaremírë (AKA: the Fall of Doriath)
Morgoth is not tired being evil. Or satisfied. Generally he won't chill out. Also, he hates Melian&Thingol especially (but this text is from the Grey Annals. the Annals of Aman put Turgon as "Morgoth's main problem"). So, he directs Húrin at them.
Hurin is suspicious of being freed (good thinking!), but what can he do? Nothing. He leaves. Also, he is let out with a sword, which is… making sure that nobody will trust him and everyone will assume he is a thrall. Also, Morgoth's minions respect him.
[Ugh, this must have been really weird for Húrin. The self-doubt. Am I a thrall unknowingly?]
He is not, but he is followed. So, Gondolin. Turgon is doubtful at Thorondor. He changes his mind but too late, Húrin leaves. Oh, and he curses this area. (Yes, I will bold each time someone curses)
Morwen dies, depression and despair, he blames everyone.
A reference to a "seer and harper from Brethil". So, Men do have seers. I mean, I knew they do because Adanel iirc… but this wasn't fully canon… also that one prophecy is stupid and I will keep complaining about it…
Also, a mention of "the days of the wrath of the Valar" reshaping the shores, so the War of Wrath was named after the Valar's wrath? Who weren't even there personally? Huh.
Húrin kills Mîm, at the gate of Nargothrond. Interesting. Also, it is said that it's public knowledge who betrayed Túrin, so — oh wait. No. He knows that from Morgoth, not from gossip. OK. So I still have no idea whether Túrin knew.
Thingollo is polite and respectful, but Húrin offends him and accuses him of causing Finrod's death (he's not completely wrong) and of mistreating his wife and daughter + throws at him the Casaremírë (Nauglamir).
Thingollo is still polite and takes the offense calmly and kindly. <3
Melian dispells Morgoth's magic on Húrin, and he apologizes.
And gives the necklace to Thingollo anyway. Which ends up being a bad idea. Also, it wasn't his to give. the dragon stole it from Orodreth, Mîm stole it again, and Húrin, whose son had owed money to Mîm (because of his promise of weregild. And yes, I think this makes it … not more evil as a choice, because Húrin did not know, but more impactful, more problematic metaphysically) killed Mîm and stole it again.
And Thingollo (who knew Finrod and tbh should feel a little guilty about his death) instead of starting to think "hmm, who should inherit after Finrod now?" takes it. Which may be a culture thing tbh. It is medieval-ish-something world. You don't disrespect gifts by giving them away, you just take them. Maybe. I'm not an expert.
Still, he could have at least talked to Húrin about "you know, Finrod's family…". BTW is there any left? Orodreth dead, Finduilas dead…. Gil-Galad if he is Orodreth's son. Galadriel! OK, so there was someone.
Húrin allegedly maybe threw himself in the sea. Anyway he is out of our scope, one way or another.
So… It comes into Thingollo's mind to join two problematic pieces of treasure (a dragon-tainted, stolen necklace and a Silmaril) into one. Also, the Silmaril grows precious to him—
OK, sidenote. The Silmarils are not evil, but clearly they are too much for almost everyone. People either grow obsessed or die quickly. But not all people. Earendil surely didn't. I guess it depends on personality (the obsession) and on fate-type (the dying).
So, he can not keep it in the deepest part of his treasury anymore— wait, what? You kept the gem in a cage too? Silmarils need proper enviroment, they need light and space and enrichment! Thingollo, you are as bad as a Silmaril owner as Feanáro!
OK, I already made a post on this.
The Dwarves. They too get super obsessed and want the stuff: both the necklace made by their ancestors and the Silmaril. But they keep it in secret.
They finish their work, it's beautiful, another sort-of-confirmation that the Silmaril's own light is white (it reflecting in gems into various colors make it even more beautiful. So. It doesn't have many colors on its own.)
The Dwarves finally talk to Thingol, but not honestly, he realizes that they want the gem, gets overwhelmed by emotions (I imagine Thingol having a switch in his brain: "be polite to Men" <-> "be polite to Dwarves" but he can't do both for some reason and switching it takes a long time) and he mocks them. He provokes them, they are greedy, everyone is emotionally disregulated and should go have some quiet time, they kill him and escape with the treasure.
We get an epitaph for Thingollo, canon confirmation that marrying Maiar is not a thing (except Thingol) and the last thing he looks at before death is the Silmaril.
I have a feeling that Námo will have some words to tell you, my guy. Not as many as to others, but still. Not great.
Anyway, Elves chase the Dwarves and kill most of them, the Dwarves tell a not-entirely-false-but-not-too-true-either story of what happenned to their kinsmen, they go to war.
Melian meditates, we get a flashback. She knows Doriath will soon fall, because the Girdle is now gone, because… ok, let's start this from the beginning.
So this is really cool but also pretty unique in terms of fantasy tropes. When Melian married Thingol, she accepted... ok, I need this in English.
For Melian was of the divine race of the Valar, [...] for love of Elwë Singollo she took upon herself the form of the Elder Children of Ilúvatar, and in that union she became bound by the chain and trammels of the flesh of Arda.
So the marriage is what's tying her to her material form (she had taken it at will back then but now, with Valinor being closed and all that I feeel like she normaly wouldn't be able to do it in ME, she was only able to be there embodied because the marriage to Thingol sort of anchored her)
In that form she bore to him Lúthien Tinúviel; and in that form she gained a power over the substance of Arda, and by the Girdle of Melian was Doriath defended through long ages from the evils without. But now Thingol lay dead, and his spirit had passed to the halls of Mandos; and with his death a change came also upon Melian.
So. Only the fact of being anchored to matter gave her the ability to keep the Girdle up. I know some Maiar can do things with matter anyway, but as I said, I suppose it's either a) because they're evil and/or b) because a Vala let them do it … in general, they are bound by something. And regardless of how the other Maiar do it, Melian lost the ability to keep the Girdle.
Thus it came to pass that her power was withdrawn in that time from the forests of Neldoreth and Region, and Esgalduin the enchanted river spoke with a different voice, and Doriath lay open to its enemies.
[Thank you, Reddit, for having all the quotes I need!]
Again, the "it came to pass" strongly suggests to me that it's not something she did, it's something that happenned to her as part of her nature.
Also, she removes herself, and goes to mourn in Lorien and is out of the story. (I'm sure they get back togetherwhen Thingol was reembodied — and that he was— and no matter how the canon feels about this I want them to have more children, who just live in Valinor in this slightly odd social position of "not a Maia but not fully not-a-Maia" and genrally have some happiness and low-stakes family drama)
The Dwarves invade, all Doriath is confused, Mablung dies protecting the Silmaril (still, he seems quite normal about it for someone who touched it twice).
Also "it's the saddest of all sad events of the Old Days" — seriously, Grey Annals? Again, for AoA it would be Tears Unnumbered. I should enjoy the diversity of opinions in the text. But I don't. It sounds like the authors are arguing with each other.
Dior and Nimloth mentioned, but that's all. On one hand, we were told that B&L never spoke to the living after their reembodiment. On the other, they do have a son and, it seems, a company. Who raised Dior? Like, who spoke with him?
Is it silent spooky B&L surrounded by a company of Elves who behave normally? Or do they live separately, in a distance and gave dior to be taught bu the Elves who live on this island, but separately from them? I can't imagine it.
Or is the "spoke to no one" thing just poetic exageration?
Hmm.. in chapter 20 only Beren is mentioned and it says "no mortal spoke to him" which may mean just Men. I'm not sure. Anyway this is weird and seems somwhat incoherent.
Anyway, the news spread quickly in the forest (how? Mycoryzal networks?) so Beren learns more or less what happenned and he and Dior go to the rescue (such is the wording in my book. So I guess they assumed there Dwarves were still attacking someone or intending to. Makes sense.) A big group of Green Elves joins them.
They ambush the Dwarves (Huh. Ambush. When Nargothrond did it, it was dishonorable... Huh. I think there is a lot in this story remaining from the older versions, back when the Dwarves were evil, or at least evil-ish and not deserving the full human Eruhini rights. Because technically they are not. Anyway. I do not like the inconsistent attitude about ambushes.) Also, the Ents help them. So i guess it is a good fight or at least Yavanna supports it (could you, please, respect your husband's children a bit more?), or at least the trees think Beren is cool.
This is weird. And seems off. And I will assume it is a part of text that Tolkien didn't fully update to the last version of his lore.
Beren killd Dwarf king (chieftain? whatever we call him), the king curses the whole Doriath treasure.
Aaaaand Beren looks at Feanor's gem with fascination. Here we go again. And washes it clean of blood in the river. (I considered adding a RoP gif here but let's not slabder Beren. still, bad vibe.)
At least he's got enough common sense to drown the rest of the treasure. But not this one. (A pity. Feanorians would fish it out, Deagol&Smeagol-style and be happy. Or something.)
He brings the Casaremírë+Silmaril to Lúthien, and she's so pretty in it. And amazing. And the land is fertile and full of light and looks like Valinor.
So…. why do they keep the Silmaril? For Beren, I think it's the standard "it's pretty, Luthien has suffered so much [chose mortal life and all that], she deserves it". Or maybe even "I deserve some beauty for all my pain", but i don't think he goes this low. It's just … slightly less than perfect attitude. "My loved ones deserve some beauty after all they suffered so I am going to give it to them". Also, why would he want to give it to Feanorians, who tried to kill him and threatened Thingol. (And fought a really bad battle but whatever)
No matter how much you love the Feanorians, please remember that this is a simple forest guy, ok, taught by the Sindar, but still. He probably knows nothing about the Oath, never met the Feanorians, has no idea of their mental state and their anguish, and not necessarily internalizes the whole "they are fighting Morgoth and dying on it" part.
Characters do have limited knowledge and did not read the book.
But… yes, I think him taking the jewel was not the best choice.
Lúthien? That's trickier. I think if she knew how much it means for the Feanorians, she would give it to them, because look how she told Beren to not kill Celegorm (or was that Curufin?). So either she knows that Silmaril+Feanorians = bad idea, for some reason (from Melian. Because foresight. But this would require Melian's foresight to change its opinion on the matter at some point, which we have no information about).
Maybe she just trusted that Beren knows what he's doing and didn't want to refuse his gift? And she had no idea how this looks for the Feanorians (remember, very likely nobody knows about the Oath, and it seems like the Feanorians told Thingol "it is ours" and "we will consider you our enemy" as their only reasons).
Melian advised Thingol to give the Silmaril back, but was Lúthien even present at this conversation? Or if she was, maybe her own foresight told her that this advice applied to Thingol then but not to her now?
Seriously, with how Lúthien is presented, I can't imagine her keeping the Silmaril if she believed that that Melian would advise against it or how much it means for the Feanorians. She seems to me a very compassionate person, and one who cares about her mothers opinions.
On the other hand, is Lúthien wearing the Silmaril such a bad thing? It came from Beren's not-great decision, but with how it's written, I don't think it's unilaterally bad. The Feanorians do not have a problem with it, or at least do not attack her (out of fear), the land is beautiful and sure this sounds egoistical, but maybe a brief moment of bliss was necessary? The Silmaril spent many years with Morgoth, then in Thingollo's treasury (why do they all keep them locked?!? i have thoughts about it. anyway) and is now sad. Yes, they do canonically have feelings. I don't think it's corrupted, but it is sad. Maybe it needs to recharge, before it will be able to become the star of hope.
I have no idea but I think like this year should contribute something positive. Otherwise the story feels odd and incoherent again. Or, at beast, feels like Tolkien … I'm not sure how to phrase it. Very slightly betrayed his story for a moment of nostalgia? The thing that the Valar did when they made Valinor. Settled for a known happiness of the past over … something? unknown?
OK, end of very speculatory ramblings, back to the reading.
And this is the moment when Dior decides to leave his parents. I think he wants to help the Elves in Doriath organize and rebuild. He is their king, after all. Still it's an interesting contrast: the island becomes a paradise and Dior leaves. I think it speaks well of him. He goes to work, putting duty above "mom pretty with shiny rock". And he restores Doriath successfully.
He gets the Silmaril, looks at it for a long time (unclear if this is bad looking or normal looking), mourns his parents, then puts on the necklace and becomes the most beautiful guy ever, even counting the Maiar. (dear authors of the Grey Annals, someone would lik a talk with you. He said his name is Mairon.)
Gossip starts… How is the gossip among Elves so effective and fast, with their numbers decreased by all the wars?
Anyway gossip, and the Feanorians. (+ a confirmation that no Elf would fight Lúthien). They send messangers to Dior, who does not answer. that's weird. What is his mental process at this point? Is Dior even socialized properly?
He could say "ok, but give me some time to mourn", or "no, you jerks, you attacked my parents and now dare to make demands" or many other things, but he does not answer. (Or is it: the Polish translation strikes again)
It must have been weird. Also: poor messangers. What a stressful job. :(
Instead of thinking "maybe we should wait till he grows up more" or "maybe we should talk to him in person", C&C get the bright idea of "let's kill them all as we told Thingollo we would do!"
And so they do.
And so they die.
Both sides lose (Doriath is destroyed with only a few survivors, but the Feanorians still have zero Silmarils, but now they have 3 dead brothers), so I guess Morgoth wins, but not really, because he doesn't get this Silmaril either and this will come to bite him later.
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yuenthevoices · 2 days
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Okay so I haven't seen Transformers One yet (just had midterms) but honestly from the bits i've seen of it - from movie clips on tiktok to some of the hilarious promo stuff they have Bee do - i'm ABSOLUTELY in love with it. some of my favorite stuff i've seen are the little, more niche details i don't see enough of that really show how much care has actually been put into the movie. don't worry, no spoilers for the actual movie - mostly about official promo clips and such.
for example, i saw a bit of an interview where it's said the animation team all grew up with transformers, and were even fighting to animate their favs. there was also another interview i saw where someone - i believe a story boarder/director - seemed genuinely pretty sad that they couldn't do the Megatron gladiator and Orion Pax archivist backstories because it would make the movie too long. like, there is just so much genuine love for the franchise that makes the movie so good and so interesting its crazy like ahduaogeuaisahe
alright alright so enough of my rant i know some of y'all are here for the x reader stuff soooo here's some TF One headcanons! also do keep in mind that this is from my very limited knowledge of the movie characters so prob oc? if they were to somehow meet humans
B-127 (Badassatron)
first off, he's such a silly guy and so adhd coded
but honestly, as a human, be just a bit careful around him, seeing as he accidentally knife-handed quite a few people, and some on purpose
he'd either be as clumsy as he is with his friends that he built, or would literally be too scared to get within touching distance of a human
if you want to get closer to him, honestly just listen to him - with some small input here and there to show you're listening - and he'd want to hang around you a lot more
really, just be nice, don't baby him, and let him yap as much as he wants - bonus points if you sometimes yap to him as well, i'm sure he'd be a great listening, with a lot of input from him, of course
Elita One
honestly, i wish i knew or could tell more about her, but any clips or trailers i've seen her in are pretty limited glimpses into her character
the trait i see the most from these glimpses however, is how she's ambitious and diligent
she'd probably respect you a great deal if you're as ambitious and diligent as she is, and would probably be a bit proud if you compliment her work ethic as well
i think she'd like someone who matches her, aiming for higher goals with the work and strength to prove it - especially since you're a human
bonus points if you can kick ass as well
D-16
similar case to Elita, except i think i have a bit more to go off of, considering how much he shows up in promo trailers and stuff
honestly, kinda hard for me to say?
again, i think he'd appreciate someone similar to him, considering how much time he spends with orion, it'd be a nice change of pace
someone who won't take bs, maybe a teeny bit of malicious compliance, and someone who doesn't try to hide their opinions
considering how mush shit miners seem to take from those who can transform, seeing someone else - especially some smaller, squisher being - being proactive and not taking shit, he'd probably be interested
Orion Pax
ok so only doing orion pax and not optimus prime because in total i've only seen like 3 clips of him as optimus soooo yea
i could see him with a jokester kind of person, but also with a more calm caretaker kind of person as well
being a jokester with him would be fun, and he'd probably have no problem with carrying you around to places for plans
being a calm caretaker would possibly be a little more stressful, but still fun with him nonetheless
either way, he'd still be somewhat careful, keeping in mind that he is much larger and sturdier than humans are
just don't play dead on him please, he'd genuinely freak out and run you over to D-16 and ask him what's wrong (D-16 probably won't find it nearly as funny lol)
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missmarveledsblog · 12 hours
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Flumpy ( Jake seresin x Reader ) Part 12
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summary : rough morning in work for our girl with an unlikely admiral coming to the rescue while the guys find a nickname for her , also starting her birthing classes in a nice of town leading her to not only see a familiar face but make a new friend and well have some fun with the other snobs of the class
warnings : none really, pregnancy and it hormones , ok well the grammatical errors and spelling mistake more of a filler part
previous part
“ you know when the words she got an animal came from your lips i didn’t think it would be followed by a pitbull named peanut , honestly I was thinking she finally stole one of those duck” rooster snorted . 
“ as much as i hate the way these words are coming from my lips right now but  i agree with bradshaw but also bob kinda told me last email he sent  little guy is only a pup and he was so skinny too “ nat  smirked only wishing she could of see jakes face when he spotted peanut first but knowing y/n she would definitely get to see it . 
“ yeah so we got a dog now and the hard decks new mascot oh  she and guys sent care packages mine will have more pictures well sonograms of the baby , she making everyone wait  til i’m home til we find out the gender , javy did say she was tired alot and sick a good bit which honestly makes me feel useless  wishing i could help and be there but he also said that everyone’s taking care of her even kyles been hanging out in the hanger any chance he gets to help out never thought i would say this considering i punched him and kicked his ass in the start but he’s a good man “ jake chuckled. 
“ yeah who would of though nat would be in love with the guy she also punched in the hard deck parking lot” rooster almost fell over laughing. 
“ yeah he was a dick at first but like all men it was a stupid front , look at us all now a year and half later , jakes engaged to y/n and she’s having his baby and they have a dog” she laughed. 
“Hey i live there too dogs mine too “ rooster said easily. 
“ he is cute he’s a little thin but she said he was worse then that” he said knowing he would of definitely would of done the same probably would of kicked the guys ass .   “ there’s still time for her to get that duck actually i better try get javy make sure we don’t come home to a zoo” jake eyes widening knowing it was now a possibility. 
 “ we both know she would just bat those pretty lashes and you would melt and be all like of course darling whatever you want baby” nat imitated his accent . 
“ she’s not wrong , my friend you are as whipped as they come” bradley chuckled . 
“ says the one what is doctor love” jake smirked as rooster fell . 
“ that was one time man i’m not getting to live that one down” he huffed as they headed off ready to get another day of training done with . 
One month and three weeks down she was getting into a small routine  , each morning she and peanut would have their breakfast ,  the two would head to doggy daycare and work  then she would do her normal routine only with the guys joining more ,  they  would cook , play games even work out a little , she still helped payback with cooking but now it was them all doing it to which she was shocked at who had skills and who didn’t by end of the first night fanboy and coyote were told they were on chopping duty while bob and payback where allowed near the stove and oven  and kyle well he was happy with being the  official taster .  then when it came to going to her appointments  her dad would collect peanut from doggy daycare to which she was suspecting the man was carrying extra treats around with him .  She was now nearly a month and half til jake got home Slightly Insecure as bump was growing more it was huge by any means But it was enough To alter her body  shape in away she wasn't used to or  Could of just been in her nead but the insecurities creeped In now she was sitting waiting before work Crying in her overalls because well they didn't fit . Just as she got herself off the ground an unlisted number rang sending her hurdling to the her phone she tied Herself as quick as she could hitting The answer. 
“ hey whats wrong” jakes brow furrowed taking in her tear filled eyes And little red nose . 
“ im fat i mean so fat i cant fit into my overalls” she cried standing up to show him turning The camera to the full length  mirror ,  only to hear him chuckle . 
“ baby you ain't fat Your beautiful  and carrying my baby those overall just make it look cuter “ he smiled. 
“ on Plus side my boobs did get a lot bigger the intern nearly fell over looking at them “ she smiled only took couple of sweet words from her man to make her feel a little better . 
“ yeah i notice that too Not Gonna lie saw It before i saw the teary … Wait what you mean men are tripping over Your or should i say my boobs” he arched His brow. 
“awh jake sweet jake they gonna be the babies boobs the Moment they're  born” she snorted just as peanut came zooming into the room . “ look who’s also getting fat “ she beamed turning The camera to show the now healthier Looking puppy at her feet tail Thudding Off the side of bed as she sat down talking away filling him in on the fun she been having with the guys but of course she was missing him more and more also made him promise to hug roo and nat for her .  getting to stage after he hung up as much as she love seeing his face it made her miss him , miss them all so much more as much as guys tried they were all starting to feel the absence and what made it worse was the stupid birth classes admiral simpson and his lovely wife have gifted her which  were starting  that afternoon .  least she wasn’t going to be alone her father was going with her ,  it was better then walking in and well looking like the loner who the teacher would have to partner up with and it wasn’t like she could be like oh can we trade partners . Her dad was so excited it was actually so cute how he wanted to help her out and how excited he was over fact he was going to be a grandfather something she would of never see coming but then again she never thought a year and a half  nearly two years after coming to san diego that she would be actually in this position. 
“ hey  bumpy “ javy called the moment she walked into the hanger. 
“ huh? Oh like flumpy but pregnant version … no “ she rolled her eyes. 
“ we’re still working on a nickname , we can’t call you pretty girl or hotstuff , phoenix and rooster already told us and well flumpy is you and jakes thing but we will get their maybe brainstorm it first” bob smiled softley . 
“ ugh your adorable “ she cooed heading over to see her intern already messing at the engine she was working on , making her almost jump out her skin to get him away .  
“ maybe we could call her grumpy “ fanboy snickered. 
“ maybe i’ll throw this wrench at your head” she called back . 
“ maybe we can brainstorm it a little longer” he winced . 
“ ugh stupid stupid … not you kid” she added starting to feel her eyes welling up. 
“ y/n are you crying?” payback called. 
“ no … my eyes are leaking” she sniffled wiping them quickly . 
“ mitchell is everything ok ?” admiral simpson asked  hearing as he passed by. 
“ i’m fat and this kid is well not the brightest blub , i miss everyone and i want a burrito “ she cried out making them all stand looking at her . “ no i look like a nutcase” she cried harder. 
“ come on mini mitchell” admiral simpson extended his arm out . “ someone get him out  away from the engine “ he whisper yelled following her out.  
She felt ridiculous  and well maybe she was losing it and didn’t help she felt both nauseous and hungry. 
“ without sound inappropriate you are not fat , you are great shape giving your condition “ beau simpson coughed out. 
“ thanks sir sorry this is totally unprofessional” she sniffled slightly waiting for him to tell her to not come back in probably send her home til she popped the kid out . 
“ burritos in the canteen if you want on i think i can persuade them to give you one earlier” he said nudging her shoulder was like a older uncle trying to be cool with the kids the way he was acting giving his usually stiff by the book approach . 
“ nah me and ed are tight he makes sure to put extra aside for me , plus  i probably wont keep it down” she sighed softly. 
“ deployment isn’t easy i can see giving the circumstance if you can get more call time “ he offered . 
“ sir think you called enough favors for me “ . 
“ well my wife is very fond of you and giving the difference with me and your dad well i still think of you as a niece of sorts “ he shrugged. 
“ nice to have some still alive” she began crying again only for her dad to walk out of his office confused. 
“ everything ok ?” he asked. 
“ my uncles keep dying” she cried out . 
“ she have a rough morning “ beau winced. 
“ i’ll take it from here .. thanks beau .. come on princess” Mav guided her back into the office. 
“ thanks admiral simpson don't die” she called out before the door closed. 
She went straight to the sofa the moment she stepped foot into the office as her dad sat on  really already done with the day that not even started fully. 
“ what’s wrong kiddo” he asked holding her to his side.
“ i miss jake , i feel fat i wanna eat but i’m gonna throw up , now i’m sad over dead people and well my overall don’t fit” she sniffled . “ probably gonna be fired for being a nut job and i called  the intern stupid and feel bad” she added. 
“  missing people deployed or well dead is normal , being pregnant and dealing with all this isn’t easy and well  i’ve seen the kid he didn’t know which wrench was which so it’s not totally uncalled for i’ll see if we can sort something out and  penny made me bring crackers to work in case your were sick so let try those bad boys first and we’ll try harder stuff later and for the overall  can be let out” he smiled rubbing her back as she settle down. 
“ penny is seriously perfect for you” she settled on sofa even more enjoying the relaxation of her father rubbing her back giving it was starting to hurt lately . 
“ speaking of penny is going to collect peanut from day care and we will get him after the classes  , last time i was at one was when you were in your moms belly and now i get to be there  for you” he smiled . 
“ stop being so cute i’ll start crying again and well my eyes hurt and i wanna nap” she sniffled. 
“ why don’t you look i got a meeting soon and it gonna be an hour rest your head and i’ll wake you we can try the day again when your awake” he said softly already seeing her eyes closing . 
“ for once i’m not going to fight against the special treatment hell call me the teachers pet “ she yawn laying down feeling something covering her not bothering to open her eyes to see the blanket . 
Pete mitchell never move So quietly Out His office ge was usually rushing to get into it only See beau simpson Standing there. 
“ she asleep?” He asked peering In. 
“ out like a light might help hormones at big high today” he grimace . 
“ honestly my wife was worse Apparently She almost traveled to the area we were stationed at , no i was gonna honestly let her use my office” he smiled . “ the dagger squad Was right she does have a way Of getting People on her side huh? “
“ she been like that since she was a kid , i mean charlies dad this guy a stone cold man who well wouldn't smile for god himself  then an afternoon with y/n mans still smiling to this day” he chuckled . 
“ she would of been a good admiral she got the head for it  and she can be a bossy as one and she’s a flare for dramatics ” beau nodded as two went down  to get  to their meeting. 
The nap done wonders  , she was a lot calmer and well more herself when she joined them for lunch even after she was more patient actually showing her intern luke how to fix the engine instead of causing more problems then she was standing in the parking lot out side some building one she know had community activity classes like yoga and stuff it was in nicer part of town too watching the women going in better dressed while she had her adam sandler fit  and sad fact most of clothes were jakes .  her dad the traitor even showed up nicely dressed making her glare at the man as he walked towards her. 
“ what i do?” 
“ i look homeless more homeless then i did when i arrived to san diego “ she huffed . 
“ hey your my kid you could were a black sack and it would look gorgeous come one i need to take notes” he said as they two entered the building the woman at the counter was more interested in her dad to even notice she was there and she could of sworn she heard someone call her a  sugarbaby passing by .  the moment she stood into the room all eyes where on her most almost sizing them up looking between her and her dad already drawing a conclusion  of the situation .  one woman had  warm smiles on  her face so she went their way  . 
“ hey first day ?” the woman asked. 
“ yeah hi i’m y/n and this is my dad  pete mitchell “ she smiled holding her hand out. 
“ lila and this is my brother in law luke”  the man turned as she was looking at the deer in the headlight reaction on her interns face. 
“ you got to be shitting me hey kiddo” she laughed . 
“  you both know him” lila asked confused. 
“ i’m interning under y/n  , so she like my temp boss, lila is married to my sister she’s currently deployed with  rest of your squad “ luke explained . 
“  well just cause were in the same group doesnt mean i’ll go easy “ y/n teased . 
“ you go easier on me being your interns been fun .. well sometimes” he chuckled . 
“Well park those butts and stick with us the other are….” lila stalled trying to be polite 
“ assholes , snobs  i mean i could go on “ luke finished .
“ ok everyone sit down and we can begin … oh two new faces hi “ the woman called walking in the door . 
“ another gold digger great” she heard one woman mumble. 
“ hi my name is y/n this is my pookie  guess you know why were here “ y/n put on fake smile and sweet voice. “I ask for prada and his ears must of been acting up giving his age ” she added as room went silent. 
“ ignore my daughter she thinks she is a comedian , i’m just standing in while her partner is deployed … oh i’m pete” he smiled awkward seeing some faces of relief , the teacher and their new friends suppressing their giggles. 
“  yeah he’s my dad not my sugar daddy that ones someone in a classified location” she sat giving luke a high five. 
“ well what an introduction , lets get ready for today’s lesson guys , my name is melanie and i’m looking forward to having you in my class” she smiled .  
“ i think you and i will get on just fine” lila whispered . 
“ hey dad look i made a new friend already” she giggled .
taglist : @harrysgothicbitch @djs8891 @darksparklesficrecs @emma8895eb @sarah-bear706318 @katiemcrae
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dilfsuzanneyk · 1 year
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Since With Teeth is on your mind, I must ask... How do you feel about The Line Begins To Blur?
hi snowy!!! soo i saw this a bit ago but i wanted to properly listen to the song again first (error: ended up putting it on repeat and now am going slightly insane)
as a song i really like it!! maybe not as impactful or powerful (to me) as a few other songs, BUT i think the song itself fits into the rest of the album really nicely.
i think it carries that same kinda vibe of losing your sense of personality and your sense of direction in life. a lot of the lyrics in it are really interesting also!! the second verse stood out to me a lot. just that kind of sense that you've come so far, you got what you thought you wanted, what do you do need? did you even want this, really? should you stop because you want to or keep going because no one's told you to stop yet?
it's less emotive? to me? but also i do think the song is like a little moment the speaker is kind of reflecting back on his life and where he's at but in a REALLY passive way. the speaker kind of feels like,, all this shit's happened and he's in a really shitty place but it's too late for him. he can't fix it. he'll always be missing that something, but he's come too far in his endeavours to stop there. so i think the music does add to that. the repetitiveness of it all and the passive sense you get.
i tried to think about like. if the song wasn't in the album would anything change or does it really add to everything? and i think it's a nice transitional song from Sunspots to Beside You In Time. the song Sunspot having this sense of "i have to keep going. why would i stop? it's good here. i'm good here." and then The Line Begins To Blur being that resigned realisation that the speaker is NOT good at all, but he's too far gone. and then Beside You In Time being that moment of him disregarding his awareness because he doesn't think he can do anything. but the whole time he's hyper-aware of the fact that he's not doing good at all and he's lost his sense of self and direction.
overall a great song, but i'll say that about almost any nin song LMAOO thank you for asking though snowy <33
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olasketches · 21 days
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so because we have only three chapters left, I’ve decided that I’m going to wait for the official release instead of going through the leaks as I’ve been doing for… almost the past 2 years. I don’t want the leaks and the fandom discourse to ruin my last experience with jjk as a still ongoing manga… plus I thought it would be more fun and enjoyable this way... more special ig (I’m being so sappy ik) wish me luck guys!!
#Plus I want to know what it feels like to read a jjk chapter without the leakers’ wonky translation and shitty panels quality#also… I’m soooooo tired of the discourse I’m genuinely over it.#I’m trying really hard to avoid it and just enjoy the chapters#cause even if I had my own doubts (that expressed here) about certain things#they were more or less later addressed in the next couple of chapters#so at this point I’m like ok I still don’t know what to expect or how gege is going to tackle all of it.#I have more questions than answers regarding characters like sukuna yuuji or megumi.#yes I loved sukuna’s conclusion and no idk how certain his ending it is as everything about it felt quite vague and unclear.#so yes I’m happy but I’m also open to whatever gege has planned for the last three chapters…#and basically whatever. just you do you gege I really don’t know what to expect. AT ALL.#all I know is that I want to let gege finish his story so I could have a full picture in mind#I’m tired of reading and going through assumptions criticism about new released chapters#while knowing that there are still more (now just three) chapters left#this was basically my whole jjk fandom experience after EVERY new chapter “this is bad and doesn’t make sense” like…#the story is not even finished yet 😭#I just want gege to finish the manga and then we can talk about what went well or what went wrong… and all#but in the meantime I just want to enjoy the story for as long as I can#that’s all#jjk#personal
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moeblob · 10 days
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son boy raccoon trash can man suffering in a dnd au as a cleric bc his warlock will not stop committing murders and he has to keep coming up with reasons murder is valid to convince the gm its fine and under control
#my characters#oops i fell in love#right is trying his best in the au to think about all the logic behind killing someone despite being a cleric SPECIFICALLY#bc he refuses to hurt anyone irl or in dnd and ok fine their warlock can have a little murder as a treat#and the body count is adding up and hes like ... so tired..... please can you not kill for five minutes im running out of excuses#fwiw he has the weird logic of the group in the base plot and the guy who is the gm here#is v open about ok but if we ask right then hell give an unhinged answer completely thought out and rationalized#and in fact asks him hey i know you refuse to hurt people but im having a debate with these two coworkers#if you had to commit a crime for aaaaaanyone on the planet who would you commit a crime for#and he doesnt even hesitate to say luca obviously to which the asker is like WHAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER#YOU WANNA MARRY HER AND WONT COMMIT A CRIME FOR HER? but LUCA? of all people???? not even brent?#and right is just so confused because first off brent would probably be the one committing a crime for him without being forced#(brent agrees with this statement with a shrug) and second off luca has really weird coworkers and thought he was getting stalked for a bit#due to a misunderstanding with said one weird coworker so yeah obviously right would threaten the guy with a gun which is illegal and#third and final how could he face his beloved angel (the daughter mentioned above) if he was a criminal#he cant tarnish a sweet little innocent girls opinion by committing a crime IN HER NAME gosh fuck off with that attitude#he has STANDARDS thank you very much#and the three at the table are all like okay yeah that was really thought out on the fly youre right#also brent do not commit any crimes for him please and brent just nods in agreement bc ok he wont commit a crime unprompted#also hi animal crossing emotes are so fun to doodle for bye#once again i am baffled by how different the colors look on my laptop in the art program vs posting to tumblr#im going to go insane at how different they look#IM COLOR PICKING FOR MY OWN OCS AND ITS SO WRONG LOOKING IDK MAN
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girlmetalsonic · 8 months
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something that is like the baseline of amys entire character to me is that shes lonely. shes clingy and physically affectionate in a way none of her friends really are, shes always getting pushed aside and left behind. yeah, she helps out people she doesnt know because shes a nice person, but also, she sees part of herself in them. she wont leave someone else behind because she knows the feeling —and more importantly, hates the feeling. if she doesnt have somebody to stand by her and be there for her, then shes going to be that person for everybody else. something something her obsession with sonic is really just like a manifestation of that desire for closeness with someone, and she thinks that romance is the only way to get that. idk... this hedgehog can have so many abandonment issues.
#me posts#amy rose#sth#sonic the hedgehog#and this is not to say at all that romance is the only way to have 'real' love or anything#just that yknow part of her breaking free of that would also be realizing that she just wants closeness with someone and it doesnt-#-have to be romantic#aroace amy could fit this i suppose and she just doesnt know it yknow. thats not my hc but i support their beliefs if that makes sense#she wants to be loved and she wants to love and she doesnt really get a big outlet for that so she shares it with everyone she sees#also i didnt wanna jam up the post but GAMMA!! this is partially abt gamma she helps him find out how to love and how to find joy in it-#-bc its what she wants for herself. she sees him and sees how completely alone he is and she wants to help him. idk idk something something#-when she was locked in the cell she saw part of herself staring back at her#gamma parallels to amy is SLEPT ON i stg i could make a whole other post about it#idk.. whenever im writing amy or just thinking abt how shed interact with others its always from the lens that she craves closeness with-#-others. she wants people to just stay for once.#does this make any sense. idk man im rambling here#my worst nightmare is characterizing her wrong its such a fine line and sometimes the words do not come out of my brain right#btw this is NOT me dissing amy i love amy. she is like top three favorite character.#important context: im typing this with amy firefox theme rn ok. ok im an amy fan.#she points at the minimize button like shes telling me to log off#jesus christ i just scrolled back up i love to put a whole other post in the notes dont i
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