#also they’re not wearing armor because

[justtkatt]

You can tell which season im rewatching by looking at my doodles

[hallowclave]

She para on my humans till I [GRUESOME SOUNDS OF BUG FUELED VIOLENCE]

Redraw of a skitter design I did a little over a year ago, comparison under the read more

And the sketch. As a little treat. Just for you.

[sokkas-therapist]

Can I speak on another hot take (maybe) that I’ve been sitting on

I haven’t seen anyone else on tumblr bring this up yet but it was the first thing I noticed with the shots we get from Kyoshi Island…

Why is Sokka not in the dress??? Or the makeup????? He’s still in his regular clothes, and this is a pretty clear shot of them during his training. In the og series, Suki made him change before she started teaching him anything because it was important to her that if he was to learn the combat skills used by the Kyoshi warriors, he also had to respect their traditions and uniform. It wasn’t just a silly “haha they made the misogynistic guy wear a dress” moment, it was a sign of respect for the Kyoshi warriors, their sacred traditions, and Avatar Kyoshi herself. So why is he not doing that???

Aside from Suki rightfully kicking sokka’s ass in this episode and beating the misogyny out of him, a large message in this episode was the fact that Sokka was deconstructing his misguided enforcement of gender roles by going directly against them and wearing and dress and makeup, even if it was part of a warrior uniform.

At first I thought “ok, maybe they’re just doing things in a different order” but no. In the trailer we see a shot of Suki and Sokka fighting side by side like they did at the end of the original episode, and even then Sokka is still in his regular clothes. It just looks like he’s wearing the top layer of Kyoshi warrior armor over his regular clothes since they’re in a battle.

I really hate this because not only is it disrespecting their traditions, but it also makes Suki’s character seem like a push over for allowing him to stay in his regular clothes while simultaneously utilizing their armor. Her original character was a total badass, and had such a powerful spirit that Sokka willingly bowed down to, so she would have never let him get away with that.

Another reason to be skeptical of the live action </3

[forgottencartoons]

Found at least a few episodes of the DiC dub of Sailor Moon and seeing the scene where Darien and Serena meet again as an Adult Woman and not a Literal Child, I really have to commend Naoko Takeuchi on her ability to design a man who manages to convey such incredible fuckboy vibes in society thirty years later. 

[frostbitebakery]

LOUD.

“It’s a,” and here Cody bites his lips, scratches the side of his nose.

“A?” Obi-Wan prompts gently. Keldabe Kiss doesn’t, objectively, sound too dirty. What’s in a name etc. but when Cody had said, if Obi-Wan is game, they could try something, Obi-Wan had kept his expectations open.

“It’s a headbutt,” Cody wrings out of himself after another few seconds.

On the list of things Obi-Wan had, after all, expected to some degree, this isn’t one of them. He keeps silent. “You want to give me a concussion?” He’s great at being silent, turns out. “Or vice versa?”

Cody is already shaking his head, foot gently shoving his helmet further away from them. “No! It’s a sign of affection…”

Only in the Mandalorian culture, Obi-Wan thinks fondly. “Explain it to me,” he signs, eyes crinkling despite himself.

Cody huffs, leans back against the wall behind his bunk. Most of his armor is stacked on its stand. The helmet on the floor near them because Cody had been fiddling with the antennas when he’d gripped it with both hands, stared at the visor, and asked if Obi-Wan knew what a Keldabe Kiss was.

Obi-Wan sits cross-legged in front of him, restless fingers playing with the starched to death blanket. The mask is on and he wishes it weren’t. The last engagement had knocked the air right out of his lungs when a Hyena-class suddenly dropped down on them and delivered proton bombs on mass. He ended up gasping and on his back after the action was over, so for now the mask stays on.

Cody adjusts the hem on the t-shirt he’s wearing, the bandage no longer peeking out when he’s done. “I’m stalling.”

“I noticed,” Obi-Wan signs back, knocks his shin against Cody’s and lets it rest there.

“Growing up,” Cody begins after a few long moments where he’s watched their legs touch, “we’d sometimes see the Template put his forehead against Boba’s. Gently,” he adds, crooked smile for Obi-Wan’s concussion related fears. His voice turns wistful and Obi-Wan’s heart aches. “We didn’t— most of us didn’t want to be in his place. The Template hadn’t been popular with the clones long before he rejected us. But something about that gesture…”

The gentleness of it in contrast to the cold, neutral environment they’d been growing up in. The obvious affection of it had been calling them. One of the trainers had let it drop what it was named. And over time they had been able to put together a definition.

“You headbutt your enemy to get out of close quarters engagement,” Cody explains. “You have to be aware how you hit them so you don’t injure yourself while inflicting the maximum amount of damage to your opponent.”

“Is that why your nose is a bit,” Obi-Wan signs, pointing at the crook of his own nose just above the mask.

“Wolffe’s head is harder than his bucket,” Cody mutters, thumb stroking over Obi-Wan’s ankle absently.

The other definition, the one the clones had mostly embraced, the one that brought warmth and solidarity into their midst when no one else provided it, that one was based on affection. Clacking your helmets together after the heat of a battle, a job well done. Bringing your foreheads together to be there, to mourn together, to show the other isn’t alone. To remind the other they’re loved.

“It’s also a proxy for a kiss,” Cody explains, color high in his cheeks which makes Obi-Wan’s heart squirm in his chest. They’ve had sex a few possible and impossible ways and yet Cody is blushing over explaining a kiss. It’s sweet and touching and— “You can’t kiss when you wear buckets,” Cody says, “and sometimes you can’t kiss at all for various reasons. So it’s— it’s a kiss by proxy,” he ends, shrugging helplessly and aborted.

Obi-Wan waits as the question builds up inside Cody, firming the strokes of his thumb, the determination in his spine. He waits while Cody is stealing his breath.

“Can I kiss you?”

[blasphemousclaw]

OK so a million years ago I made a post analyzing all the placements of the abductor virgin enemies throughout the game, and I came to the conclusion that they’re very deliberately placed as a gesture of protection from Rykard to his family members: there are two at Raya Lucaria, where his mother resides, one on the ramparts of Caria Manor, where his sister lays low, and one at Redmane Castle, where his brother commanded his army. But there isn’t just one abductor virgin in Caelid, there is also an entire cave filled with broken pieces of them — the Abandoned Cave.

The cave lies on the north cliff edge of the Swamp of Aeonia, where Malenia fought Radahn and unleashed the Scarlet Rot upon Caelid. There’s a lone abductor virgin patrolling the cliff opposite the cave entrance that looks to have killed several of the giant dogs:

The cave has some poisony mushroom guy enemies, those annoying flowers, and the boss of the cave is the Cleanrot Knight duo... all enemies that thrive in the rot. The cave itself is a bubbling swamp of scarlet rot, and there are broken abductor virgins absolutely everywhere.

The conclusion I came to about this cave in my post was that this army of abductor virgins was being stored inside, when the Scarlet Aeonia bloomed and flooded the cave with rot so violently that it destroyed all of the abductors. Why were they there in the first place? Since the abductors are specifically found at the residences of Rykard’s mother, sister, and brother (and not at the residences of any of his half/step-siblings), and since there is already one abductor at Redmane Castle, and since Rykard seems to have been fond of Radahn, hanging a portrait of him above his fireplace, the most sensible conclusion is that these abductor virgins were also meant for Radahn.

BUT, what was always mysterious to me was why Rykard would feel the need to give Radahn an entire army of abductor virgins. Rennala only gets two, and Ranni only gets one. What about Radahn’s situation would necessitate a whole army? My answer to this question had been kind of a handwavey “well, he’s fighting an offensive war so he’d need more weapons,” and that still could be true but I always felt like there might be a better explanation. WELL, with the revelations about Radahn from the DLC, I think I have one!

From the DLC, we learn that Radahn made a vow with Miquella, and his half of the vow was that he’d agree to be Miquella’s consort. But during the Shattering, it seems to me that things went awry: Malenia traveled across the entire continent just to kill Radahn at Miquella’s behest, so that he might be revived as Miquella’s consort... but Radahn didn’t die, and his great rune “burns, to resist the encroachment of the scarlet rot” to this day. The armies of both demigods can be found endlessly fighting each other as spirits in the War-Dead catacombs. This leads me to believe that Radahn was not prepared to die for Miquella’s sake here, he and his Redmanes fought Malenia and her Cleanrots to win. I think this conflict might’ve happened because during the Shattering, Radahn decided to pursue his own ends — perhaps influenced by his great rune’s “mad taint” — and became either unfaithful or simply a disappointment to Miquella. So Miquella sends Malenia to kill Radahn, and he later revives his soul, but specifically as the youthful version of Radahn whom he admired, not the mature Radahn of the Shattering.

Miquella’s version of Radahn (Radahn in his youth) vs. Rykard’s version of Radahn (a mature Radahn: face is more deeply lined, no braids, he’s wearing the armor style we see Starscourge Radahn wearing in-game and not the “Young Lion” armor)

While on her way to Caelid, Malenia would have had to march through Altus, past Mt. Gelmir. What if Rykard somehow discovered Malenia’s intentions before she reached Caelid? And he panicked, sending his brother a whole army of his war machines in order to keep him safe when he himself could not abandon his Manor? But Radahn refused to use them to protect himself, because above all he values honor on the battlefield and depends on his own strength to see himself through, and hiding behind machines in battle would be dishonorable and cowardly? So the army of abductor virgins sits unused in an abandoned Caelid cave, until Radahn and Malenia fight to a standstill, and the scarlet rot blooms, flooding the cave and destroying the army within? I think the DLC revelations slot into my previous speculations pretty nicely… and if Rykard had not yet fed himself to the serpent by the time Malenia fought Radahn, well, this would certainly give him another good reason to want to destroy the very system of the gods, wouldn’t it?

[accala]

I love how simplistic the clothing is in Advent Children compared to those in Rebirth. I know it's not what they intended (Rebirth is a fairly new game and AC Movie was back in the 2000's). But I like to think that characters had to improvise with their clothes because Shinra, who was the major supplier for everything, was gone after Meteorfall. Plus with Midgar down and in the middle of a wasteland, they had to scramble for resources, so any fabric had to be salvaged.

Here's some side-to-side references of Remake/Rebirth (RR) Clothing vs. Advent Children (AC) Clothing:

[Rufus Shinra]

The buttons. The details. The extra fabric. The belts. And then look how more simple AC is. Sure he has a coat on top of three shirts, but his RR suit looks so extra and customized to fit him whilst his AC suit looks like something he scrounged up in his remaining closet. He lost all of his extra belts. His undershirts look like they’re made out of cheap cotton too. His coat in particular looks short on the sleeves and too loose on his form.

[Turks: Rude, Reno, Tseng, & Elena]

(Top right photo from Advent Children)

Classic expensive suits for RR. Simple suits for AC. Look at those clean looks and small suit details for RR (ex. Rude has a patterned tie and Elena’s collar has a small button/pin on her collar). The difference is apparent with Reno, who has a fancy undershirt in Remake vs his simple cotton undershirt in AC. And if you zoom in on the AC photo, the coats have zippers!!! The AC coats also look loose compared to their form fitting coats in RR.

[Cloud Strife]

AC!Cloud has more fabric than in RR. But AC lacks the details that RR has. For example, RR has leather gloves with metal encased on the wrist and fingers. His shoulder pad looks forged with giant metal screws as well. But AC mostly has leather and little to no metal except for its strap buckles and wolf insignia (And it's likely that Cloud made those wolf symbols himself). Although, he does have major upgrades (read: his sword and motorcycle; both things he probably made himself/with help from scrap materials).

(Extra note: This is a common theme on other characters where they replace their utility pockets and metal armor with leather/denim. It makes sense for their equipment to be replaced due to wear and tear. Lack of metal armor could be due to lack of weapon/armor production. Plus Leather pauldrons/gauntlets are faster to make.)

[Tifa Lockhart]

Her outfit in AC looks more casual than in RR (ex. She got rid of her compression armbands; She switched out her red combat boots for look-alike converse sneaker boots; and put her utility pockets in front of her skirt/shorts combo). Notice how she doesn’t have gloves nor Materia slots in the movie (Although it’s weird that she DOES have gloves in other games/promos).

[Barret Wallace]

In AC, he has a sleeveless puffer jacket and a fishnet shirt. He also lost his leather utility pockets (for ammo possibly) from RR. And it’s probably because he doesn’t need it, now that he has a new advanced weapon (it can transform from a metal arm into a high tech machine gun and vice versa). As an oil baron, he probably has more access to materials and utilities compared to other characters, that’s why Barret’s clothes don’t look so simple/improvised.

[Marlene Wallace]

Obviously Marlene would have a different look when she got older. But look at her cute frilly pink dress vs. her white sleeveless collared shirt and floral patterned skirt (notice how her outfit looks like a mix of Cloud and Aerith’s outfits). The stitching for her AC outfit is way more simple. Also I’d like to think Barret gave her that floral patterned fabric for her skirt since it would have been difficult to get ahold of.

[Yuffie Kisaragi]

Zippers galore. Her outfit is changed to black with a floral patterned shirt with a denim ensemble (I think her outfit is a little extra because she's a WRO member). Her shuriken’s the same but her metal and leather armor are gone and replaced with a wristband and a black cloth that covers her forearm. She still has her utility pockets though but it’s in denim (I wonder, did she break her old armor?).

(Edit: She also has these green converse knee high boots?? Again, as a WRO member, she probs got them outside of Midgar)

[Vincent Valentine]

Nothing changed that much. He kept his coat. His AC leather straps and gauntlet are less detailed than the Rebirth one. The metal buckles look different in shape too. I think he changed those in AC. Makes sense if there were wear and tear during the years (I wonder how he does his laundry though lmao).

[Cid Highwind]

Cid changed to a cotton blue shirt. He doesn’t have his pilot scarf anymore nor his flight jacket. Instead, he has a brown bomber jacket tied around his waist with a dog tag around his neck. As much as I think his clothes are due to scarce resources, I also don’t think he cares that much regarding fashion.

[Reeve Tuesti]

The shoulder pads. The silver and yellow accents. The foot length blue coat. It's a major improvement on Reeve's outfit compared to his old businessman suit. As the WRO leader, he gets access to making his outfit a little fancy (more chances to trade with other towns/cities outside of Midgar). Although I do think someone made that coat for him, and he wanted to reject it because he considered it too much. But accepted either way 'cause it would be a waste.

[kurosagi-h8r]

Tkdb ghouls — boobs, ass, personality, or something else pt 2

what is it called when you need to step away from your device whenever you write two sentences about Haku to keep yourself SANE. It's a disease at this point and it keeps happening when i write haku brainrot istg GET OUT OF MY HEAD *SHAKES HIM VIOLENTLY* anyways *cough* finally i got to write him here. haku, my main target, this happened because of you dude. sprinkle sprinkle

Part 2 - Sinostra, Hotarubi, Obscuary, and Mortkranken

Part 1 here

Fem bodied reader, foot fetish rui, mention of bloodplay. some of them are nsft so minors dni

Taiga

...Your entire being? Wherever he can get his teeth on??

Ok maybe both ass and boobs. Sometimes thigh especially when you're sitting on his lap during his gamble. It's like his hands just have a mind on their own. Had you not stop his hand from going further up he wouldn't even restraint himself. Does he even have any in the first place?

I feel like he's kind of into bloodplay(?) Watching his kitten squirm gets his blood rushing to his groin. The more you resist the more irresistible you are to him. Unless you made it clear to him that you don't want to scar yourself for him.

Romeo

(I'm biased) I would say he's personality guy... and after that is definitely looks. Of course what I mean by personality is not about being kind or compassionate, it's more about how you carry yourself. Be a fucking egoist; be fucking classy. But of course looks also matter because how you present yourself is how you want people to perceive you. You should treat your exterior like it’s an armor and you have to keep him in mind when you try to make yourself look good. "Will Romeo hate it? Or will he like it?"

He's a face guy.

Look him in the eye when you're talking to him, think about him when you put on your makeup, don't refuse when he wants to cum on your face, do not ever turn your face away when he's still being gentle – not when his hand is still caressing your cheek, and not grabbing your face roughly.

Whatever effort you've done for him, he should be the only one ruining it. Your tears should be there for him or because of him. Your smile should be there only when he's the one making you smile. Your anger, disgust, hatred, they’re all his to manipulate and witness to his heart's content.

Did I say your face is his favorite thing to cum to?

Ritsu

Physically, he's into ass. And don't ask me why. He love your hips too especially when he can get his hand on it. Love to see you wear pencil skirt that hugs your curve on that area.

And intelligence. If you can argue with him (in his style), the longer you stand your ground your next words are will not be going through his head but through his dick. 100%. If you win he'll say yes to bottoming for you and you know he's not one to purposely lose a battle.

Subaru

Look... eyes...

Eyes are window through the soul, in which he will gladly get lost in if they're yours. Yes, with a single touch he can get inside your head but being able to look into your beautiful orbs and wonder about what you're thinking is simply... exhilarating. To think that you're so open to him that way... so trusting... he should've present you with a ring right there and then.

He can be a bit shy to lock gaze for too long, but if you distract him with kisses on the lips he would have no choice but to not look away. Yes he will faint but who cares when your arms are there to catch him.

Haku

Lips

He loves watching your lips when he does things to you. Be it when he's making you cum or when your lips are around his cock or as simple as hearing you talk. Sure he's listening to you talking about this and that but for sure half of his focus is on the way your lips are moving.

100% would run his finger through your lips, then slowly insert a finger in as you try not to gag, and then your drool would be all over them ruining layer of lip gloss that you've put on. Is it strawberry flavor this time? Can I have the honor of tasting it, princess? Please?

Of course his favorite word on your lips would be his name, much to his denial. Calling his name like a prayer is the last thing he needs — it's what he wants, but not what he needs. He never need to be your God, he simply wish to be... Haku. Your Haku.

Zenji

Your skin is the perfectly blank canvas; your voice, scent, and soul, are the arts seeping through it. It'll be forever forgotten if Zenji – the man of quill – does not do justice on reflecting back your beauty with the touch of his lips and fingertips.

Would worship every inch of your skin if he could. He would write poems on you because you wouldn't let him bring papers to bed. With a lipstick he could either use it to write on you, or use it on him and let his mouth to the job of leaving love traces on you.

Ed

Shoulder, neck, veins– exposed veins.

He bites. Or at least planning to one day. His claws slowly tracing along your veins, soon he'll invite his own lips on you – oh so slowly like you're his long lost lover and his main focus would be to make you stay in your place for as long as he can make you.

Fantasize about leaving bite marks all over you. If you complain the next day he'll say sorry and use them as reason to kiss the pain away – just to make new ones on other places. He'll whine like a little kid being denied of his nursing time if you say no.

Rui

Greedy bastard number 2 after Haku

Lips, neck, jawline, hands, feet (ok listen i'm still on my sub!rui phase)

He can spend more time picking the perfect stocking and killer stiletto/heels than the rest of the lingerie. He doesn't give two shits on what’s up there since he can only look and nothing else. The way you can pleasure him is when he's on his knees with hands tied in the back and your heels playing with his hard cock until he's a whimpering mess.

Lyca

Scent. I don't think I should explain more. He would even find your sweat pleasing to his nose and you would have a hard time pushing him away.

Yuri

Ankles (Blame @/jeun-bug and @/istharoth for this). Well I mean it wouldn't be far off so i will not be explaining it here.

Yuri and exposed back.

Backshots.

The guy can perform autopsy like it’s a walk in the park but if you need help unzipping the back of your dress???? Yeah. Somebody please call the ambulance, the doctor is frothing at the mouth /j

Jiro

Big size difference. Whether you're the small one or the big one doesn't really matter as long as there's a noticeable gap between you and him. He's down for picking you up with one arm and also looking up during conversations.

[room-surprise]

PSA: There are no Dungeons in Dungeon Meshi! They're labyrinths!

(WARNING FOR MANGA SPOILERS)

When the characters in the manga talk about dungeons, in Japanese they are actually using the word 迷宮 (meikyū) which means labyrinth. The connotation based on the kanji used is a palace or castle with many confusing rooms. The word “dungeon” (ダンジョン, danjon) is only every used in the manga’s title, when the narrator of the manga is referring to the title ("ahh Dungeon Meshi!"), or when Kui discusses dungoniums (ダンジョニウム/Danjoniumu) which she describes in the world guide as miniature dungeons, built to emulate a labyrinth.

The English loan word “dungeon” is most likely intended to catch Japanese reader’s eyes because it is foreign and exotic, and lead them into a false sense of security because of the Japanese pop culture perception of “dungeon” as a relatively harmless place where characters have formulaic adventures and gather resources as part of a game, or a game-like story.

“Dungeons” in Japanese pop culture can be sinister, but they have come to mean something as innocuous as “level” or “environment.” The early story of Dungeon Meshi is lighthearted and full of comedy, which reinforces this idea and leads readers to believe that the labyrinth in the story is just a generic backdrop with little inherent importance, like it is in many fantasy stories. However, Kui repeatedly suggests the labyrinth is not benign, that it is itself a monster and that anyone foolish enough to go into it is at risk of becoming food, and being devoured.

Before the word dungeon came to generically mean “place to exploit for resources” in fantasy fiction and gaming, its primary meaning was prison. So then the title “Dungeon Meshi” actually means “prison meal.” But who or what does the prison in Dungeon Meshi contain? Of all the people in the dungeon, who are the prisoners? And what does a “prison meal” really mean? A meal eaten by prisoners? A meal cooked by prisoners? A meal cooked using prisoners as ingredients? All of these meanings are implied and hinted at in the manga.

The characters in the story call the dungeon a labyrinth, which is a word that means a maze-like prison, specifically one that traps innocent young people and a man-eating monster inside. Both the monster and its food, the people, are prisoners… But which of them will die and be eaten? Who will escape the labyrinth in the end, and what will it cost them?

You’ll have to read Dungeon Meshi to find out!

======================

But so, you may ask, Mushroom, aside from all that stuff you just said, why does the dungeon/labyrinth distinction matter?

ARIADNE SPIDERS

(Using the cute version here to protect anyone with arachnophobia)

These are giant spiders that the elves use to produce silk, which they use to make the armor the Canaries wear. Though we don’t know for sure, it’s likely the spiders are domesticated in order to make farming their silk easier.

Ariadne is the name of an Ancient Greek mythological character, and may be derived from the Ancient Cretan dialectical elements ari (ἀρι-) "most" (which is an intensive prefix) and adnós (ἀδνός) "holy", but the exact origins of the name are unknown. It may be pre-Greek and not from the Indo-European language family at all.

Ariadne was a princess of Crete that helped the hero Thesus escape from the maze/dungeon that contained the minotaur by giving Theseus a ball of magic thread. 

The spiders in the manga have a pattern on their backs that looks like a maze, and their silk thread is the thing that protects the Canaries while they’re in the dungeon, and allows them to make it back out alive. The elves may consider the spiders “most holy” because they provide the means for them to protect themselves in battle.

Having the elves use a giant spider as a type of livestock might also be a playful reference to the drow (dark elves) of Dungeons & Dragons, since they worship a spider goddess, and Kui’s elves probably don’t worship the spiders if they’re using them as livestock… Though it’s also possible that they have a reverence for the spiders similar to the way cows are worshiped in parts of India, since some of elven culture appears to be based on South Asia!

THE CANARIES ARE BEING SACRIFICED TO THE DUNGEONS

Minos, Ariadne’s father, prayed to the God Poseidon to help him defeat his brothers and become king. He was sent a snow-white bull as a sign of the God’s favor. Minos was supposed to sacrifice the bull to Posiedon to show his gratitude, but because it was so beautiful Minos kept it, and sacrificed a different, inferior bull instead. 

To punish Minos, Poseidon made Mino’s wife fall in love with the bull, which resulted in her mating with it and giving birth to a half-man, half-bull monster, a minotaur that could only survive by eating human flesh. King Minos constructed a labyrinth to hide the proof of his family’s shame and keep the minotaur trapped inside it.

In order to avoid war with King Minos, the people of Athens made a bargain, and every few years they sent 14 youths from their noble families to Minos as a sacrifice. These young men and women were sent into the labyrinth, where they became lost and trapped, and were eventually eaten by the minotaur. This continued until Ariadne fell in love with one of the Athenian youths, Theseus, and gave him a ball of magic thread which allowed him to kill the minotaur and escape the labyrinth.

There’s many ways this tale parallels the story of Dungeon Meshi. The ancients used the demon to accomplish their goals, and eventually their use of the demon’s power and their failure to control it led to them having to imprison the demon in a maze, and conceal its existence from the rest of the world. Now the elves, the descendants of the ancients, regularly “sacrifice” some of the children of their noble families to the dungeon, in an attempt to keep the demon from breaking free and destroying the world…

(This is an excerpt from my Dungeon Meshi essay.)

[fatkish]

I can’t get this idea out of my head so I’m gonna share it and feel free to use it. We know that Heteromorphs (people with mutant quirks) can have a very diverse appearance and abilities. Well my idea is kinda NSFW-ish, so here it is: a living armor quirk. Basically the character has a shapeshifting and transformation ability that allows them to become a living bodysuit that can protect whoever wears them. For example: if someone was wearing them, the wearer could ask the character to grow wings so they can fly. Since the character would have to be touching the skin of whoever is wearing them it can get kinda steamy.

The character is basically made up of microscopic wires and strings that weave together to make up their body. These wires can be bulletproof, fireproof and other proofs but it would depend on how healthy they are in mind, body and spirit. If they’re sick for instance, they won’t be able to hold themselves together enough to protect the wearer. The character can control each individual microscopic wire and re-weave them around the wearer’s body. The reader would of course need to eat and drink just like anybody else but their body is evolved to digest quickly and turn excess food and nutrients into energy. (So basically they don’t need to shit as much, since any excess materials they consume are quickly broken down and stored as fat or excess wire for when they take on damage and need to repair themselves)

The NSFW part and the part i can’t stop thinking about is how heroes who have the character as a sidekick would more than likely wear the character as opposed to their hero suits.

Imagine Aizawa learns about this character and decides that having them transform into a suit for him would be time saving and more practical. This would mean that Aizawa would only wear the absolute bare necessities since the character only has so much wire to work with. This also means that the character can feel every part of the wearer’s body. Which means the character can feel Aizawa’s dick and has to wrap themselves around it to support it. Now Aizawa could wear his regular suit over the character and just use them as an added layer of protection.

Or Endeavor hears about this character and decides that they would be perfect for him. We all have seen how big he is in height and musculature. This would mean the character has more space to cover making the suit thinner compared to someone like Aizawa. Now since the character has the ability to be fireproof Endeavor’s flames won’t hurt them but they can get really hot. (Imagine if endeavor had the character become a jockstrap or cup like article to help hide his bulge)

Or how about Dabi? What if he had the character act as a second layer of skin? Overtime the character would be able to build up a resistance to Dabi’s flames kind of like exposure therapy. Now Dabi basically wears them all the time since they help keep him from burning his skin.

And what about Edgeshot? With his quirk the reader would be the perfect sidekick (or should I say sidestick) literally, because the reader would be worn by him and literally be as his side.

Basically I’m a horny mess and I just want hot dudes to use me

[bladders-gate-three]

LISTEN

LISTEN

So in act 3 of BG3 you get access to the Helldusk armor, right? Like you take the breastplate off of Raphael, and yoink the helmet and gloves from elsewhere in his house…

BUT WHERE ARE THE SHOES?!?

TURNS OUT THEY’RE IN THIS CHEST…. At the Foot of Enver Gortash’s stinky little bed!!!

This little shit spent all his time around Raphael, who clearly has control issues; the only thing he took with him were the shoes to a perfect set of armor.

Because armor with mismatched shoes looks dumb.

IMAGINE BEING RAPHAEL thinking: that little shit stole my amazing boots. And you think; he’s probably wearing them right now.

and then

AND THEN YOU SEE HIM WEARING THESE

THE AUDACITY.

Also his parents were cobblers and he now has the world’s ugliest shoes, but keeps some of the best greaves ever made in his toy chest. Double whammy.

[long-death-dazai]

It is [Dazai stares up at the ceiling to avoid looking at Chuuya] it almost certainly is [he groans, covering his face with both hands and dragging them down] I’m so sure.

If someone tries to take another one of my knifes today I'm committing fUCKING WAR CRIMES AGAIN SO FUCK OFF

[mydadleft471]

Cerulean Coast and Flower Crowns

Summary: Messmer takes you on a date to the Cerulean Coast. Fluff ensues.

This was a request from anonymous! I'll link the request here! I'm so sorry this took forever, I just started school again and the back half of my summer was NUTS. But this prompt was so cute I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I got home and busted it out. Thanks for the patience and the request anon!

Also, thank you guys for over 100 followers! I didn't realize I hit that until today, so thank you all so much! The support I get on here is insane, and it means everything to me. I love writing so much, and being able to share it with other people is so satisfying and gratifying!

As always, please enjoy and thank you all for following, reading, liking, commenting, and reblogging! I hope I'll be able to post again relatively soon because I love this man sm

A soft knock at the door slightly startled you.

“Just a minute!” You hollered, trying to finish your braids as quickly as possible. Ever since you had braided Messmer’s hair, he’s been trying to get you to match him. Wearing matching braids was a simple gesture, but to him, it was anything but. He’d yet to work up the courage to ask you to braid a lock of his hair in your own.

Securely tying your hair in place and giving yourself a glance in your vanity, you decided you looked good enough to answer the door. The embroidered gold collar on your red dress glimmered in the sunlight streaming through the nearby window. Whichever way you turned, you would seemingly glow. A set of polished ruby earrings and a matching necklace sat on the table before you. They were another gift from Messmer. He loved when you wore red. Perhaps it was something possessive, or maybe it was the fact that red was his color, so wearing it meant you were proud to be his. Whichever it was, you didn’t mind. You just enjoyed making him happy.

Standing from your chair, you hurry to the door and open it. Standing before you was Messmer himself. You notice that he’s not in his usual armor and cloak, but instead, he wears a ruby tunic with black pants. He looks simple, yet regal, all at once. His hair has yet to be braided, as he insisted that your braids look nicer. You think it’s just an excuse to have you do his hair, which you don’t mind.

“Hello, beloved.” You greet him with a blinding smile. “Would you like to come in?”

He nods and enters your room. The smell of vanilla wafts in the air pleasantly. You catch his eyes drifting over your dress. He seems to realize that he’s been staring at you, and looks away quickly. 

He clears his throat. “Red suits thee, it seemeth. Ne’er have I witnessed anyone as beautiful as thee, my consort.”

“You look wonderful as well, Messmer. What’s the occasion?” 

“I wish for thee to accompany me to the Cerulean Coast.” His face is red.

“For what, my love? Is there some pressing business to attend to there?”

“No.” He grabs your hand and straightens the matching gold ring on your middle finger. “I wish to take thee there. Nights ago thou had said something about the beauty of the Cerulean Coast.”

“Are you asking me on a date?” You cock your head at him.

“I- yes.” He seems like he’s trying to shrink away from your gaze.

“When did you want to go?”

“If today suits thee, then today. When thou’rt ready.” He squeezes your hand.

“Well, first I need to put on my jewelry. Then, I assume, you want me to braid your hair to match mine?”

“How well thou knowest me.” He gives you a shy smile.

“Come on, then.” You lead him over to your vanity and you sit down.

You reach for your ruby earrings and begin to put them in, but Messmer’s hand gently stops you. You shoot him a puzzled look. Did he not want you to wear these today?

“If I may, I would like to assist thee.”

You give him a small nod and hand him the earrings. They’re comically small in his palm. He leans down and slowly puts your earrings in, careful to not accidentally poke you. Once he finishes, he reaches for your necklace and stands behind you. He gently drapes it over your neck and adjusts any jewels that aren’t facing the right way, then clasps the ends together. He ghosts his hand over your neck and collarbones, making you shiver. 

“I adore thee in red.” You see him smile at you in the mirror. His eye glints possessively and your stomach does somersaults.

“Your turn.” You hop out of the seat and gesture for Messmer to sit, which he does.

You grab your brush and begin to part his hair down the middle, brushing it so it’s silky and smooth. Taking three small strands of hair, you begin an intricate braid. When you finish with the first one, you wordlessly pass it to him to hold, which he does. He’s gotten used to your silent cues when doing his hair. You begin the left braid next, shaping it into a half-moon, soon to be joined together with the other braid. It’s a very simple hairstyle, yet it is Messmer’s favorite. 

Tying the ends together, you lean over and give Messmer a quick peck on the cheek to tell him you’re finished. His face reddens and he gives you a bashful smile. Even after all this time, he still flusters from the simplest of gestures.

He stands from your vanity chair and gently grabs your hand. He brings it up to his mouth and places a delicate kiss on your knuckles.

“Will the Keep be okay while we’re away?”

He nods and squeezes your hand. “Fear not, beloved. I have left Gaius in command. We shall return by sunset.” 

It seemed like he already had everything planned for the day.

He leads you, arm-in-arm, down the stairs and hallways you’ve started calling home, and servants bow their heads in greeting as you pass. One of Messmer’s serpents winds around your waist and the other perches on your shoulder. They relax against you, comforted by your warmth.

Messmer shakes his head. “Fickle creatures they are. But I cannot fault them for preferring thee.”

“They’ve only been with you for the entire duration of your life. They can’t be tired of you.” The serpents hiss and wind around you tighter, making you and Messmer laugh.

Once you reach the gates to the Shadow Keep, Messmer signals to one of his guards. The heavy doors slowly open, revealing the vast plains of Scadu Altus. The breeze gently tousels your hair and you huff. Messmer gives you a small smile and tucks a wind whipped lock of hair behind your ear.

A knight approaches with Messmer’s horse and hands him the reins. He’d pulled away from you briefly to pet her. You’d seen her before, but you’d never dared to ride her. She’s a large, black horse with deep brown eyes. Her mane flows freely down her neck and she exudes power. She’s stubborn, but Messmer had rode her into many battles and came back unscathed. If he trusted her, so would you.

Messmer looks at you, standing timidly a few feet away. He gives you that gentle smile that only you get to see and approaches you.

“Have I told thee her name?”

“No,” you shake your head, ruby earrings gently knocking against your neck. “She’s beautiful, though.”

“She is called Belladonna. A fine horse she is.” She whinnies at his praise, stomping her hooves as if eager to go.

Messmer reaches out to you and you give him your hand. He slowly pulls you towards Belladonna and extends your hand to her. She sniffs you a few times and then butts her head against you.. Messmer laughs and you begin to stroke her mane, amazed at how silky it is.

“Thou needn’t worry; she is gentle. No harm will come to you with her, beloved.” You believe him as she nuzzles into your gentle pets and scratches. The tension you felt upon seeing her dissipated almost immediately.

“Come, consort mine.” He mounts and settles onto Belladonna easily, as if he’s done it a thousand times. He wraps an arm around your waist and hoists you up with assistance from his serpents. You settle with his stomach against your back, legs thrown over the side of the horse gracefully. 

“Wilt thou be alright?” Messmer secures you in between his arms, reins clutched in his hands.

“Just… don’t go very fast. Please?” Your stomach churns with anxiety being up so high. You also haven’t ridden a horse in what seemed like ages.

“Whatever thou wishest. We shalt go as slow as thou requires.” 

With a snap of the reins, Belladonna begins a slow trot. You thought you’d be jostled around more, but between the slow pace, the easy terrain, and Messmer’s form keeping you steady, you find yourself sighing and sitting back against your lover.

The trees are tinted gold as you ride past them, sunlight streaming in between the leaves. The grass sways in the gentle breeze and you admire the nearby wildlife as they prance carefree among themselves. You could imagine your surroundings in a painting. It was nice to be out in fresh air and away from the Shadow Keep, even if only for a little while.

Most of the trip is spent in silence apart from the gentle sounds of Belladonna’s hooves against the dirt and the occasional chirp from a bird nesting overhead. Eventually, the golden grass yields to a field of cerulean flowers. They seem to glow as they are guided to and fro by the wind. You wonder if they are magic, perhaps related to the Carian royal family?

“I have forgotten the beauty of this place.” Messmer’s quiet voice plucks you from your thoughts.

You turn your head to look back at him. He smiles down at you and presses a light kiss to your forehead. You hum in response.

“I’ve only been here once. I was fighting through it, so I really couldn’t stop and enjoy the scenery.”

“Since thou hast expressed thy interest in returning here, I requested that my knights clear this place of any who would pose a threat to thee.”

“You did that for me?”

“Of course,” he responds calmly. “Thy safety remains a priority of mine.”

“Thank you, Messmer.” 

“Gratitude is not necessary, beloved.” 

Belladonna stops at a sparkling coast with deep blue water. Messmer dismounts, then assists you off the horse. Bending down, he offers you his arm, which you take gladly. He leads you towards the coast, the water rippling as it crashes over the sand. Flowers mimic the waves and sway in the breeze. You notice that there is a blanket sitting among the blue flowers with a basket. You look up at Messmer whose face is bright red.

“Did you plan this?” You ask incredulously.

“Certainly not alone. Rellana assisted me.” He lets go of your arm and sits on the blanket. You follow his movements.

“What could’ve possibly made you ask Rellana for help?” You giggle and adjust your dress.

“I wanted thee happy, but I was unsure of what to do. Thou requested to return to the Cerulean Coast and I wished to make the occasion special.” He toys with the blanket and avoids your gaze.

“What did Rellana tell you?”

“She instructed me to bring thou here for a picnic. I hope it is to thine liking.”

You move forwards and cup Messmer’s cheek in your palm. He gives you a bashful smile. “I love this. Thank you, my love.”

He exhales and kisses your palm, visibly relaxing. “When Rellana offered her advice, I held the belief that this would not suit thy tastes. I am glad I am wrong.”

“You worry too much.”

“I am aware, beloved.” He reaches over towards the basket and opens it. “I requested rowa fruit pastries be made for thee.”

Your mouth waters at the sweet smell drifting from the basket. Messmer hands you one and you carefully unwrap it and take a bite. It’s perfectly fluffy and sweet. You offer a bite to Messmer, and he shakes his head, not willing to take your treat away from you. You huff and refuse to budge. Rolling his eye, he takes a small bite and you smile, triumphant.

You finish your pastry and look out at the ocean. The crashing waves provide a soothing sound and you can practically feel Messmer’s tension burning away. His serpents nap on the soft blanket, curled into one another.

You lean forwards and pluck a glowing blue flower from the ground. The stems are long enough to weave together. Looking back at Messmer, you realize that this shade of blue would look perfect among his deep red locks.

“My love?” You call to him in a sing-song voice.

“Yes?” He knows you’re up to no good when you sound like that.

“Can you go gather some more flowers for me? I think 30 should be enough.”

“Thou wouldst have me pick flowers?” You understand where he’s coming from. As a hardened war veteran and powerful demigod, picking flowers was probably not on his list of things to do.

You shoot him a pleading look. “Please? For me?”

“Fine, but I shall never again hear the false notions that I do not love thee.”

“Thank you!” Even though he seems upset, you know he’s just faking. He could never be upset with you.

He gets up and gets to work gently plucking flowers from the ground. As most things are, they are comically small in his hands. You begin to gather some near you, stretching your arms to pick them. You create a small pile, delicately draping the flowers over one another without sullying the serene glow of the blue petals.

In a few minutes, Messmer returns to you holding a bundle of blue flowers. He sets them next to your pile and sits back down. You give him a quick peck on the lips and utter a quick ‘thank you,’ then begin weaving the stems together. You work on Messmer’s crown first, as his will take more flowers.

He watches your nimble fingers thread the flowers together. Your beautiful face pinches slightly in concentration, and you move strands of hair away from your face as you work. He moves closer to you and holds your hair away from your face, helping you work faster and more efficiently. The ruby earrings adorning your ears sparkle in the dim sunlight. He admires you and wonders how he ever got so lucky.

Soon, you finish his crown and present it triumphantly. He gives you a loving smile.

“For me, beloved?”

“Mhmm,” you say, placing it on his head. The blue glow creates a halo and compliments his red hair well. He looks stunningly handsome. 

“A consort is deserving of a crown.” He gestures to you.

“I’m making mine next.”

“Wouldst thou teach me how to make these crowns?” He scoots beside you.

Your eyes light up and you nod. Grabbing two flowers, you show him how to weave them together tightly, so they remain locked in place. He watches you work and when you hand him two more flowers, he does his best to mimic you. It is harder for him to tighten them, as his hands are much larger than yours, but he tries his best. Once he’s weaved them together, you tighten them.

With you watching and patiently helping him, he eventually creates a circular crown of bright blue flowers. 

“Aren’t they fun to make?” You beam up at him.

“Fun, yet frustrating for my hands are much larger than thy nimble ones. But I enjoyed making it. I had the most wondrous teacher.” His gold eye shimmers at you.

He lifts the crown and you lower your head. He places it delicately on your head and smooths your hair down. When you look up at him smiling, he finds himself marveling at your beauty. The Cerulean Coast pales in comparison to your sweet smile.

“Beautiful.” He breathes the word, in awe of you. He pulls you closer to him, pressing a loving kiss to your soft lips. He sighs, at peace once more, thanks to you. 

He’d have to remember to thank Rellana after this.

[luffysscraps]

Being pregnant with Sanji’s baby;Drabble

Thinking about having Sanji’s baby and when it kicks it fucking leaves a bruise on your stomach. 💀 Everyone thinks it’s cute when it happens the first time, even you and Sanji think it’s adorable. You don’t feel the immediate pain because of your durability in battle but the next day, your stomach is bruised and your insides are crying.

Chopper takes a look at you and figures out that it’s the baby’s kicking that’s causing this all, the both of you are shocked (and a little scared). Chopper gives you some healing pills so your organs don’t rupture and that the baby doesn’t cause any internal bleeding. Franky also makes you a metal armor that you wear around your stomach like a little apron, it protects the little one inside and also absorbs the kicks from them. He calls it ‘The rockin’ baby bump shield’

“They’re already following in my footsteps.” Sanji feels a bit of pride of course from his baby being so powerful and they’re not even out of the womb yet. But he also feels a bit bad that you have to deal with them. “I’m sorry my genes are too powerful mon amour~” He cries to you, kissing your hand a million times per minute. He writes you love letters every day and gives it to the crew to give to you like a school girl would.

(Zoro thought it was for him once and had to let him down gently and scold him for trying to cheat on you “Dude you’re already married and have a kid. Shame on you.”)

(Luffy ate the sweets and the letter because Sanji had attached the chocolate heart to the letter.)

Your just happy for the day the little sucker can come out of you. Your poor stomach can’t take this abuse. Franky’s rockin’ baby bump shield absorbs them of course but you still feel the vibrations from it. Sanji’s on your beck and call, he does everything for you and you never have to lift a finger while you’re carrying his little chef.

Their first words are “moss head.”

[technicallyneon]

felt like rereading the changeling chapters so here’s some of my favorite panels (pretty much only chilaios related because the shipper goggles are permanently glued to my face at this point)

spoilers for ch. 50 and 51 under the cut (duh)

first of all… yeah i don’t know either… is that the second time laios has called him mister or did it happen more often. wonder if they’re gonna change this one to “sir” in the anime too… i mean what who said that…

i’m not even gonna comment on this one

i’m really totally super normal about him wearing laios’s clothes and armor i promise. you gotta believe me

obligatorily pointing out the reversed height difference. laios is so fucking tiny i need to squeeze him like a stress ball

sweet revenge for all the times they’ve coddled him (bonus half-foot marcille appearance because i love her). they both look so cute i need to eat them

there’s something to be said about laios being the only member of the party who doesn’t miss chilchuck’s “cute” appearance (or at least the only one who isn’t actively thinking about it) like everyone’s all upset about tallchuck but laios doesn’t give a shit because he doesn’t care about what chilchuck looks like, he’s still chilchuck to him even if he’s taller now and i need to stop yapping now before i talk myself into a frenzy over this

they have my whole heart

same braincell mfs. they did not communicate this plan at all by the way they just thought of it at the exact same time and it somehow worked out anyway yadda yadda yadda implicit trust in each other and all that (poor marcille tho)

i’m not into feet but my friend is so i’m posting this for it specifically. also it’s fucking funny and i appreciate the detail of laios’s scar from the dragon fight, that’s very cool

that’s it, that’s the end of the post thank you for indulging my insanity

[nevadancitizen]

-> ATOM BOMB BABY!

synopsis: you're a nomadic survivor in a post-apocalyptic wasteland until you get transported to a strange, new world. these demons were obviously expecting a human that was softer, less spikes-and-thorns and more fluff-and-wool. how will they react and adapt?

word count: 3.3k (~530 each)

characters: lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor, post-apocalyptic! reader

trigger warnings: canon-typical violence, it's implied that the reader has killed before and will kill again lol

notes: new vegas and obey me! have been kicking me in the head repeatedly recently. so there are some allusions/references to new vegas in this one but you don't need to know jack about new vegas to understand this :) also mammon's is longer than everyone else's and he's pining hard for mc because i'm soooo in love with him it's not even funny and IGNORE that there's a lot of holes you could poke in this.. okay? okay <3

It had been a… a miscalculation, really. An embarrassing one. Diavolo had accounted for many things to ensure the success of the Exchange Program, but he failed to account for the most important thing: the fact that, at the end of the day, humans are better at killing than any other living thing. 

Was it wrong for him to assume that things had been the same way they were two hundred years ago? Yes, of course. It was stupid not to check in on the human world, because if he had, he’d find that it was razed by nuclear bombs, the land and water still tainted with the fallout.

So, no, neither he nor the brothers know what to do when you quite literally fall out of the portal. They’re shocked when, instead of being confused and scared and fragile, you’re vile, scarred, spitting threats as if they came naturally. Wait – are you wearing riot armor? And – yeah, that’s a gun. Definitely a gun. A gun you’re currently pointing at them.

-> LUCIFER 

Honestly, this is the last thing Lucifer needed: another fucking headache. He supports Diavolo with all that he is, but he can’t ignore the fact that he’s sometimes so careless that shit like this happens. He’s the one who talks some sense into you and gets you to holster your weapon, as he’s the only one with a level head in the room. (Well, Diavolo would be the other, but he’s… weirdly excited that this human is challenging and has so many thorns you’d think they were born in a briar bush!)

He’ll try his best to accommodate you, even if that means teaching you that yes, you have to shower at least once every two days if you’re to continue living in the House of Lamentation. And no, you cannot hoard food and water in your room. He knows it’s instinct for you at this point, but it causes problems with Beel. 

He basically takes over teaching you how to be a regular, functioning member of polite society, kinda like how he did with Satan. (Really, he thought he’d never see the day where the Devildom was considered part of polite society, but after seeing snippets of the human world through you, he knows that this place is way better than the human world.) He teaches you how to use proper cutlery, how modern plumbing and refrigeration works, and how to solve your problems with words rather than bullets. 

Lucifer is also… oddly patient when it comes to you. As much as he hates to admit it, he sees part of himself in you – the part that had just been cast out of the Celestial Realm, the part that took months to adjust to the world of the Devildom. He knows what it’s like to be subjected to new and confusing ideals – but instead of just a completely different way of life, you’re introduced to the same on top of an legit, organized education system that you’ve never encountered before.

And if that trigger finger of yours ever gets itchy, he’ll take you to go hunting. He’s inexperienced when it comes to hunting with guns instead of claws, but this is the only time he’ll set his pride aside, sit back, and learn. What better hunter to learn from than someone who’s hunted everything, from mutated creatures to fellow man?

If you ever take him to the human world, prepare for him to be silent and observant. He’ll be that way for a while, just looking over the rolling hills and plains that were once green, killed and turned brown by radiation. Then, slowly, softly, unsure if he’s speaking to himself, you, or his Father: “What a splendid world you ruined…”

-> MAMMON

When Mammon comes into the Student Council Room (because he was running late, as per usual) to find you, gun holstered but hackles still raised, his first instinct is to get the fuck out. He’s been in situations like these before, and he knows when to bounce.

But, of course, he’s still assigned as your guardian even though you clearly don’t need one. He thinks that your guns and knives are enough to deter any demon, honest! (Even though that doesn’t deter him from trying to pick your pocket. What really deters him is when you catch his wrist and hit him with the most threatening glare he’s ever seen on a human. Jeez, you honestly look like you’re about to clean his clock…!)

But still, since the Great Mammon was assigned as your guard, he’ll stick around. He doesn’t really mind, because you’re kinda cool anyways – not that he’ll ever say it to your face. But really, with the kinda armor that you’re wearing, plus the grime of the wasteland that doesn’t go away no matter how many times you wash… you’ve got a unique style, and that’s all he has to say, okay? If you really want, he guesses he can hook you up with a modeling gig – but only if you’re with him! Uh – only because he wants to make himself look better in comparison, y’know?

Yeah, even with someone from the wasteland, he’s still absolutely head over heels in puppy love. He’ll show you stuff he got from the Old World (as in, the pre-war human world) because, as much as he denies and deflects, he wants you to have some sense of normalcy. A place that isn’t filled with raiders and ghouls and slavers and someone trying to kill you at every other turn. He’s nice like that.

But he still really wants to know what the New World is like! You can’t get those Old World Blues if he’s just as enthusiastic about New World Hope, right? He asks about your weapons (and takes the spent bullet casings from your guns because they’re shiny), your occupation, your lifestyle – everything, honestly. He wants to know about your family – assuming they’re still alive – and your friends – again, assuming the same. He’s eager to know as much as you’re willing to share, even the more gruesome things you’ve seen or experienced.

He also wants to know about what… ahem, what affection is like. Surely you can’t trust easily when people are willing to kill one another over a sack of rotten vegetables, right? So he’ll be gracious and allow you to playfight and get rough with him, since that’s your weird human way of showing affection! What do you mean that’s not – that’s not how humans show affection now? Humans show affection in the New World the same way they did in the Old World? Well, he just assumed because you hadn’t been showering the Great Mammon in praises and loving touches and – ugh! Just drop it, okay?

Yes, he assumes a lot, mostly based on the apocalypse movies he’s seen. Unless you actually have a sit-down with him and talk about what life is really like in the wasteland, he’ll ride on these weird assumptions. Assumptions like the existence of radiation-riddled zombies, super-mutants and their variants, and other beings that would otherwise be labeled as supranatural if not for the complex and long-winded explanations Mammon comes up with.

If you ever take him to the human world, he’d be delighted to see what remains of Las Vegas – or is it called New Vegas now? Who cares! He’s all-too-excited to bust out whatever human world money he has and get those dice rolling! Sure, he knows that the deck is stacked and the dice are weighted and the games are rigged in every possible way, but it’s about having fun with his human, right? (That’s what he says until he’s forced to fold and cash out. Then it’s “no fun anyway,” and “a waste of time,” and he’s itching to check out the nearby towns and settlements. For something to steal? Hell, probably.)

-> LEVIATHAN

The first thought that crossed Levi’s mind is that you’re obviously cosplaying the main character from It’s a Federal Offense to Mess with the Mail, Man!: Tales of Gunslinging Wastelander Couriers Solving Convoluted Demon Family Drama’s way less popular spinoff, I was Doing Fine Scraping by as a Nomadic Wastelander, but Then I was Transported to Some Strange, New World with Seven Demonic Suitors who are Fighting Over Me as we Speak! Though, if that were the case, where was your convention badge? And that armor doesn’t look fake. It doesn’t really click until he hears the very real sound of you cocking your gun that you’re not playing pretend, nor are you fucking around in any capacity.

He so desperately wants to cement the fact in his mind that you’re a normie, you like doing normie things like cleaning your guns and knives and talking about the politics of the wasteland, which actually reminds him of this game he’s playing and you’d totally love it and –! Oh no. It’s true. You’re cool. Like, really cool. Like, not-a-normie-at-all cool!

Even though you’re not an otaku (and depending on where you’re from and your education, you might’ve never even heard of Japan), Levi will slowly come out of his shell and try to ask you questions about the wasteland. Like Mammon, he has a lot of assumptions based on the games he plays, but they would actually be more accurate. Instead of supranatural things, he thinks about the logistics of the world at large – blame the RPGs he plays. 

But, this leads to him thinking he knows all there is to know about your life and how you live it. Depending on your temper, it may lead you to snap at him, telling him that your life isn’t a video game. This isn’t Grognak & the Ruby Ruins. The wasteland is grueling and cruel and unforgiving. You have seen starvation, debauchery, reignited fascism and misled democracy. You have seen people be crucified for not agreeing with the slavers putting them up on the cross. What you’ve lived through isn’t fun. It’s not a fucking game. You can’t respawn if someone gets a lucky hit. You die. And that’s it.

And of course it causes a blow to his ego, reinforcing the idea that he’s just a “yucky otaku” or some shit like that. You have to reassure him that you have nothing against him personally, it’s just that he was being kinda patronizing and acting as if he’d lived in the wasteland all his life instead of you. After some time alone to sulk, he eventually comes back around and realizes that you’re right, and that you’re really cool, and he wants to be friends with you, so after that brief period he apologizes. 

Good luck trying to drag him to the human world! Levi’s a shut-in, and much prefers experiencing the wasteland through video games than real life. Though if you’re bound and determined, call him up on whatever the equivalent of facetime is on your DDD and talk him through what you’re doing while in the human world, even if you’re just walking along an abandoned highway. He really appreciates your effort and might even work up the confidence to travel the wasteland with you, but sticks to walking the desolate wastes as opposed to going into towns and… ugh, socializing.

-> SATAN

Satan immediately wants to laugh in Lucifer’s face because he fucked up so immensely. Seriously, how could you not know a nuclear war happened? (This is ignoring the fact that he didn’t know, either. He just thought that humans haven’t put out anything worth reading in a little while. He’s a demon, so two hundred years is… not a significant amount of time for him.) 

He’s a hardcore nerd, so he wants to pick your brain about the politics, the logistics – everything about the wasteland. He’s kinda insensitive about it in the beginning, but will eventually turn and not treat the deaths of people close to you like a plot point in a book. He’s unashamed about it, too, and will ask you as soon as the question pops into his mind, lest he forgets it. This leads to weird topics of conversation over dinner, all spurred on by his question of “How many people would you say an average person has killed? Assuming they’re competent enough to kill, of course.”

Your weapons are another point of interest for him. Obviously big gun manufacturers aren’t around anymore, so where do you get your guns? Are there modifications on them? Are the mods homemade, or do you get them from a designated seller? Does the seller need a license, or is it a free-for-all? If it’s a free-for-all, how do you know the quality of the mods they’re selling? And other exhaustive lists of questions that leave you wishing that Mammon would just burst through the door with another stupid money-making scheme on the tip of his tongue. 

He knows how overwhelming school can be, and organized education in the wasteland is sparse to none, so he takes up the title of being your tutor. You’re obviously frustrated with this new thing you don’t have a choice but to partake in, and Satan can sympathize. You’ve never even studied in your life, so he tries his best with trying out different studying techniques to help you form healthy habits that promote a healthy school-life balance. 

If you ever take him to the human world, he’ll be elated. Not because of your trust in him to bring him to the wasteland, but because he can actually do a case study on humans! Not on anything in particular, he’s just curious. He takes soil and water samples to test the levels of residual radiation, talks with locals – both in small settlements and more populated areas – about their life experiences, their political opinions, their religious beliefs… basically everything under the sun, really. He comes back with a new appreciation for humans and a few books that have been published in the New World by doctors and the like. 

-> ASMODEUS 

Ew… what sewer did you crawl out of? Asmo respects people’s kinks and lifestyles and knows that someone’s yuck is someone else’s yum, but he holds the firm belief that it shouldn’t impact other people. And that blood on your boots and the… whatever that’s on your armor is seriously grossing him out. (Though the drop knife strap that’s hugging your thigh is really doing something for him. But that doesn’t make up for the fact you haven’t bathed in a week.)

At first, he distances himself a little because you distance yourself. You don’t want to be judged for something that’s considered normal in the human world. Purified water is a precious commodity, and people don’t want to waste it showering when they could be drinking it. A dip in the river – yes, the ones with the sediment and the radiation and the mutated fish – suffices for most.

Though after a while, he decides that it’s high time he’s bonded with the human that’s living under the same roof as him. Maybe you just need a makeover, then you’ll unleash your full potential as a scarred, gunslinging wastelander hottie? Some demons are into that.

So, with little to no warning, he decided it’s time for a shopping spree. Even though you’re uncomfortable wearing the “high fashion” that’s at Majolish (because it provides literally no protection, armor-wise), he’s able to compromise by getting you some loungewear that you won’t be going out in anyway. While you’re out with him, he drags you to a shop that sells soaps, perfumes, and the like. You’re obviously not used to things that smell good and it’s obviously overstimulating, so Asmo just picks some of his favorites and gets you out before you have a scent-induced breakdown.

Once you’re back at the House of Lamentation, he drops all the shopping bags in your room and drags you to his – it’s time for a makeover, because you’re in dire need of one! He gives you a nice manicure (and adds some nail polish if you’re okay with that) and breaks out the “Doctor Asmo” title to diagnose what kind of skin routine would work for you. If you take issue with the scars you’ve accumulated throughout your life in the wastes, he tries many gels and creams to heal the tissue and reduce the starkness of the scars (even if he thinks that it’s kinda futile because the scars have existed for so long or have been exposed to the sun too much). 

Honestly, Asmo cringes at the thought of going to the human world after having you describe it to him. Even the slightest dosage of radiation that’s above the regular background levels can be really detrimental to your skin, and he doesn’t want to risk radiation poisoning – even at a minor level! Raiders can’t be stopped by his beauty alone, and he doesn’t want to chip his acrylics while handling a gun. Instead, he’ll get the human world in little doses through you. 

-> BEELZEBUB

Not to sound rude, but when you first arrived, you smelled far too rank for Beel to eat. Yeah, he’s eaten inedible things before, but he knows when to suppress his hunger because eating something rancid will hurt more than it’ll help. But don’t worry, after you freshen up and bum some clothes off Mammon (because you didn’t bring any other outfit – obviously), Beel’s appetite is back! Good for you…?

He’s actually really excited to sample some New World food when it’s your turn to cook dinner. Even if you tell him it’s nothing to write home about, he’ll eagerly wait at the kitchen island, not-so-subtly sneaking tastes here and there while you cook. He’s not deterred by the weirder-sounding and even-weirder-looking foods like squirrel stew and coyote steak. If anything, that just makes him more excited!

If Mammon’s not attached to your hip while you’re walking the halls of RAD (and surely yapping your ear off all the while), Beel’s there. He mostly sticks around to see what snacks you can conjure up from things he never thought of eating before, like when you plucked a bug out of the air that was flying around the courtyard and snapped its head off before eating it. He stared at you for a second, just enough for you to start to fluster and get defensive, before doing the same. Protein is protein, after all. 

He also wants to introduce you to fangol! From what you’ve shared, he’s deduced that sports aren’t really a thing in the wasteland – you can’t waste your energy playing when you need it for your continued survival. But you’ve got a lot of energy from being cooped up in the House of Lamentation, so he can help you in a way that benefits both you and Beel: you get rid of your excess energy, and he gets to practice. Practice with someone who’s very inexperienced, yes, but still – it’s practice!

And if you ever itch to get a hint of your old wanderer lifestyle back, he’s all-too-happy to take you on a hike or to go camping with you. Even if it’s purely on a whim with no preparation whatsoever, he’ll grab whatever he can carry from the fridge, stuff it in a backpack, and, after sending a text to Lucifer detailing where you and he are heading, be ready at the front door, all within ten minutes. The food he brought won’t be enough, surely, but he can strip the leaves off a tree like an elephant if needed. 

If you ever take him to the human world, make sure to pack ample food for him because, if pushed, he will strip the nearby towns and settlements of their food supply that was meant to last the next three months. Yes, he’ll pay them for the food, but still – it’s a shock for the wastelanders to see this towering figure push a bunch of money in their hands without even counting it and rattling off what he wants like he’s ordering at a restaurant. 

-> BELPHEGOR

He’s in the attic and a wastelander like you has enough common sense to not trust him. Good ending he stays locked in the attic forever lol goodbye twat