#also the way this went full circle? marie was the last queen of the two sicilies

[flowerwreaththings]

the things from today that squeezed my heart

*disclaimer: today I’m talking about everyone here, not as the kind of people they are, but as family members who came together to mourn the loss of their loved one*

the two person i feel for the most:

Anne marie, she just lost the literal love of her life, the only man she loved ever since she was 15 years old and for years watched and cared for him as his health significantly deterriorated. I can’t imagine how she felt these past years and especially now. Her pain is echted on her face. Constantine and her always talked about how the happiest thing was their children, they always talked about how much joy it brought to them and how important it was for them, and their grandchildren too. And they created a beautiful big family, with 5 children through a 21 years long period, which imo is also a testament to their love, and also it seems all their kids found the one, and all their inlaws seem to genuienly love them, which isn’t a small thing. This family and lovingness they’ve created was evident today. How their family looked out for each other, how they supported each other, how they looked out for her, and she in her own pain, reached out to them too. I loved how they were in almost constant communication whith each other, about what’s coming next and who knows what. She also once was asked about what someone needs to be or do, to be a good royal/queen, and she said you just have to be open to the people and be yourself, be as natural as possible. And as always she was just like that, even on one of her hardest, most personal day. Together with her husband, they went through so many things, that are personally very challenging, yet they were able to come out of those hardships together. She left her own family and country at the age of 18, to become his wife, which meant becoming a queen in a foreign country, where she had no one yet. She was only 21 when they went into exile, during which time they had a miscarriage, lived in Rome for 6 years before settling in the Uk for decades. She followed him everywhere, and built a new life. She wholeheartedly adopted his husband’s country and always called it their home, and always stated that she wants to return there the same way he does. She learned the language. Supported her husband wholly in passing on the language, the values, and the love for Greece and its people to their children. She always respected the greek people’ whishes and showed her gratitude to them.

Nikolaos, the son who inhereted his fathers deepest love and devotion to Greece, the one who decided to live there along with his parents for the last decade. As such, he took on the biggest part in organizing everything, which must have been hard especially with the government. He has looked so devastated each time he was seen. His love for his country and his love and pain for his father has been so evident. 

the heartwarming/heartbreaking moments from King Constantine II’s funeral: 

his three sons accompanying him to the church, and being there early to greet everyone

his sons putting their mama’s wreath, with the inscription ‘Your beloved Anne-Maria’ on his coffin

Anne Marie paying tribute to the literal love of her life, in small, sweet details too, like incorporating things from the very start of their life together, their wedding day: wearing the same cross pendant and making her wreath for him from the same flowers ‘lilly of the valley’, which apparently were his favourit, and made up her wedding bouquet. With the inscription on the ribbon from her: ‘ Your beloved Anne-Maria’, for which I have no words but all the more feels. what a full circle.

Anne Marie arriving to the service and her genuien reaction to the crowd’s support, putting both her hands on her heart

Anne Marie acknowledgeing the crowds troughout the day, again at the end of the service, even at Tatoi

at the begining of the service Anna Marie was clearly searching for her own sisters with her eyes, then she saw the her husband’s sisters sitting right behind her and reached out her hand to sofia and then irene

all the people who showed up drom the danish and spanish sides, greeting the immediet family of constantine with warm embraces

the younger spanish and greek generation aiding the elders throughout the day

the spanish kids and maxima too, looking emotional

the grandkids looking emotional during the second half of the funeral

pavlos being a good son and supporting his mama throughout the day, holding hands more than once, chatting and checking

the cousins, siblings, aunts, nephews comforting ecah other throughout the day

all of his children having their significant other at their side, sharing their grief and holding hands

anne marie grief ecthed face trying to keep it all together and staring ahead at her husbands coffin throughout the service

the sons and grandsons carrying the coffin at some points, which was clearly difficult, both physically and emotionally, especially poor nikolaos’ face

the daughters and inlaws getting his medals, symbols and wreaths to carry and the granddaughters each getting one of his orders, and this way all playing a part in the funeral

Anne Marie personally puting her wreath for him, with the inscription ‘Your beloved Anne Marie’, on top of the coffin at the chapel at Tatoi

his children and wife personally draping the flag over his coffin

his family kneeling at the chapel, struggling even more with their grief (it was such a small space, and a very intimate part, especially the kneeling, I was kinda sad they showed it, and I was afraid, that despite the family’s wish in the end they will broadcast the whole thing, but I was relieved that at least for the actual burial part they had some privacy *update: i jast saw photos from the burial and they are even more heartbreaking)

his family playing a big part in personally organizing the whole funeral, it might not have been the smoothest, but it made it way more personal, sweet and the tribute more special for him imo

i loved how the family communicated throughout the day about what’s next, who is doing what, and checking on each other

[johnhardinsawyer]

Under a Rock

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

4 / 23 / 23 – Third Sunday of Easter

Luke 24:13-35

“Living Under a Rock”

(Holy Hospitality and Holy Heartburn)

I heard a fascinating news story this past week:

After spending almost a year-and-a-half in near-total isolation some 230 feet underground, Beatriz Flamini emerged from a cave in southern Spain. . . The climber and mountaineer had entered the cave in Granada on November 21, 2021, determined to spend 500 days alone — monitored from afar by a group of scientists — to explore the effects of isolation on the human body and mind.  Flamini was 48 years old when she went down, and 50 when she officially completed the challenge. . .[1]

She had no way to measure time [during the 500 day challenge, and] spent her time doing exercises to keep herself fit, painting and drawing, and knitting wooly hats.[2]  

She also read nearly 60 books during the challenge and – after a couple of months – lost track of time to such a degree that she thought she had only been underground for 160-170 days.

Flamini says she still feels like it's 2021. Indeed, major global events, from Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine to the death of Queen Elizabeth II, happened while she was basically living under a rock.[3]

In English, if you hear that someone has been “living under a rock,” this means that they are oblivious to something that has happened in the outside world or unaware of things that most people know about.  Last week, we talked about “F.O.M.O” – the “Fear of Missing Out.”  Well, if someone has been “living under a rock,” they have missed out on something.  But maybe they don’t mind this.  Imagine not having to hear about some of the less-than-savory events of the past year and a half.  Maybe it’s no wonder that Flamini really didn’t want her time under a rock to end.  

In today’s scripture reading, we find two people, walking down the road, talking about some less-than-savory, confusing recent events – the death of their friend and teacher, Jesus, and the news they have just heard:  that Jesus is no longer dead.  While they are walking and talking, they encounter a stranger who is walking along in the same direction.  And this stranger (who, we are told, is a yet-to-be-recognized Jesus) asks them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?”  (Luke 24:17). The question stops them in their tracks and, according to the story, they stand still, looking sad.[4]

“Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?” the disciple named Cleopas asks.  Just in case you’re wondering, this is the Bible-speak version of “Don’t you know?  Everyone has been talking about this.  This is the only thing on many people’s minds and lips today.  Have you been living under a rock?”  “Friend, if you only knew. . .” Jesus thinks.  

In this season of Easter, in which we are revisiting some of the stories of Jesus and his resurrection, I think that today’s story is one of my favorites.  Here we have two regular people – Cleopas and another unnamed disciple – who are not part of Jesus’ closest inner circle and don’t have more famous names like Peter, or John, or Mary Magdalene.  Just so you know, this is the only time that Cleopas’ name appears in the Bible.  I almost feel like Cleopas and his friend could be anybody – stand-ins for folks who are not well-known, some of the general populace followers of Jesus, maybe even people like us.  

I mean, I’m sure that they were known to Jesus and the other disciples in Jerusalem, but we don’t know much about them except that they are on their way to the village called Emmaus – about seven miles from Jerusalem – and they are clearly sad.

“Why are you sad?” the yet-to-be-recognized Jesus asks.  “What are you talking about?  What are these things that have taken place?”  He asks this, even though he knows very well what has taken place.

Cleopas and his friend begin to speak – the words spilling out – retelling the things that have happened all-too-recently:  

“The things that happened to Jesus the Nazarene. He was a man of God, a prophet, dynamic in work and word, blessed by both God and all the people. Then our high priests and leaders betrayed him, got him sentenced to death, and crucified him. And we had our hopes up that he was the One, the One about to deliver Israel. And it is now the third day since it happened. But now some women [of our group] have completely confused us. Early this morning they were at the tomb and couldn’t find his body. They came back with the story that they had seen a vision of angels who said he was alive. Some of our friends went off to the tomb to check and found it empty just as the women said, but they didn’t see Jesus.”[5]

“These are the things that have taken place – the things that are concerning and confusing us so, the things that we know about because we haven’t been living under a rock.”

When John Calvin writes about this, he says that it is clear that Cleopas and his friend are filled with uncertainty – wondering what in heaven’s name is going on – but they still have “a reverence for [Christ’s] doctrine”[6] and they are not afraid to speak of Jesus in glowing terms – “a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people. . . we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel (to set Israel free).” (24:19, 21). As Calvin notes, after Jesus’ arrest and death, it might have very well been a dangerous thing to speak so openly to a stranger and say such nice things about Jesus, but either Cleopas and his friend are not afraid or – like some of us can be when we are filled with emotion – they just need to get all of these big feelings off their chests.

Anyway, Cleopas and his friend pour out their hopes and their hearts to this stranger and then, quite unexpectedly, the stranger turns the tables when he tells them:  “Oh, how foolish you are and how slow of heart to believe. . .”  (24:25)  Just so you know, in the original language, “slow of heart” could also be translated “dull of heart” or “too dull to believe,”[7]implying that Cleopas and his friend might not be – how shall we say – the brightest bulbs in the marquis.  As professor Rodger Nishioka once said, the stranger might as well have said, “You two are dumber than a box of dirt.  Bless your hearts.”[8]  Or, maybe, for the purposes of today’s sermon, the stranger might as well have said, “Hmmmm. . . seems like the two of you have been living under a rock.”

While Cleopas and his friend are picking their jaws up off the ground, the still-incognito Jesus elaborates:  

“So thick-headed! So slow-hearted! Why can’t you simply believe all that the prophets said? Don’t you see that these things had to happen, that the Messiah had to suffer and only then enter into his glory?” Then he started at the beginning, with the Books of Moses, and went on through all the Prophets, pointing out everything in the Scriptures that referred to him.[9]

The stranger’s words clearly have an effect on Cleopas and his friend.  You see, not only does the stranger clearly know his scripture, but his words seem to change the hearts of these disciples.  Instead of having dim or dull hearts, a light is lit[10] and begins to flicker there – a Holy light, a hopeful light.[11]  It is but a small flicker, at first, but it is enough so that as they get close to their destination in the village of Emmaus, the stranger starts to walk on, but they say, “Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over.”  (24:29). Just so you know, in the original language, the disciples are really saying, “Abide with us,”[12] which seems like a far more meaningful invitation.

The stranger stays for dinner – abiding with them at the table.  And, while they are eating, he takes bread, and blesses it, and breaks it, and gives it to them.  “Then their eyes [are] opened, and they [recognize] him.”  (24:31). In the original language, their eyes “fully understand”[13] and they “know exactly and completely,”[14] that the stranger who approached them and greeted them at their most sorrowful, the stranger who has been walking and talking with them, teaching them, eating with them, and feeding them is, indeed, Jesus.

There is this one part of the story that I find particularly peculiar, when just as he is recognized, Jesus disappears – vanishing from their sight.  I never quite got this part of the story.  Why doesn’t Jesus at least stick around for dessert?  Thankfully, Calvin is helpful here, when he writes:  

So far, then, as it was necessary to assure them of his resurrection, he made himself visible to them; but by the sudden departure, he taught them that they must seek him elsewhere than in the [physical] world. . .[15]

This is how it can be for so many of us – encountering Jesus in glimpses and flashes of recognition, in ways that inspire us to keep seeking him even when we cannot see him face to face.  It can be frustrating – looking for Jesus in our lives, and in the world, and not always seeing him when and where and how we want him to be.  And yet, if we are people who hope in the resurrection, we are placing our hope in the One who subverted people’s expectations – surprising everyone with his inability to stay predictable, or even to stay dead.  

Today’s story reveals two indications or practices that might just lead toward a Holy encounter or two – if our minds and hearts are open, if we aren’t living under a rock.  The first is the gift of hospitality.  Jesus and his disciples are hospitable to one another on the road – open to one another even though they might seem like strangers.  Sometimes, I find so much joy and grace in a moment when I open myself up and talk to a complete stranger or when they open themselves up to me – whether we are trying to crack a joke or simply saying hello.  Hospitality, shown through kindness and empathy breaks down barriers and connects us to one another.  Cleopas and his friend want an even deeper connection, though.  Theirs is not a passing encounter, and so they offer hospitality to this stranger – to Jesus – inviting him to dinner.  As Jesus proves, there is so much grace that can be shared around a table.  It begs the question:  who is invited to sit at your own table, and who – by accident or on purpose – is not invited?  Jesus is always expanding the table of grace.  Are we?  

The second indication of ways by which we might seek Jesus is seen in how the Holy Spirit is at work when Cleopas and his friend say to one another, “Was your heart burning within you?  Because mine sure was!”[16]  In some Christian traditions, this strange warming of the heart is an essential part of experiencing a salvation moment.  In ours, however, this strange warming of the heart is not essential but it sure is a gift if and when it happens.  And if we are able to share it with another person – another person who witnesses it with us – it is a double gift.  It was Jesus who said, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.”  (Matthew 18:20)  This is the Holy Spirit at work, making Christ’s presence known.  We don’t always need Holy heartburn to have faith and if we don’t always feel our hearts burning this doesn’t mean that Jesus isn’t near.  The life of faith should not be spent chasing a special feeling.  Instead, the real work of faith is putting our trust in something – in someone – even (maybe even, especially) when we don’t feel that special feeling.  It sure can be nice, though. . .

I know it must have been a challenge for Beatriz Flamini – living under a rock for so long.  But for Flamini, it must have been nice to know that even though she never saw another person, she was never really alone.  For her challenge in that cave,

. . . she was [remotely] monitored by a group of psychologists, researchers, speleologists — specialists in the study of caves — and physical trainers, who watched her every move and monitored her physical and mental well-being, though they never made contact.[17]

They were always there – watching over her – even if she never saw them.  

The same can be said of the risen Jesus – the One who did not stay under a rock for long, the One who is out in the world, being revealed in holy hospitality, and loving community, and generous empathy.  May Jesus be found in these places and may our eyes be open to see him in unexpected ways.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.  

------------

[1] https://www.npr.org/2023/04/17/1170388759/500-days-cave-beatriz-flamini-spain.

[2] https://www.voanews.com/a/spanish-athlete-spends-500-days-in-cave-/7050521.html.

[3] NPR Article, ibid.  https://www.npr.org/2023/04/17/1170388759/500-days-cave-beatriz-flamini-spain.

[4] Luke 24:17.

[5] Eugene Peterson, The Message: Numbered Edition (Colorado Springs: NAV Press, 2002) 1452.  Luke 24:19-24.  

[6] John Calvin, Calvin’s Commentaries – Vol: XVII – Harmony of Matthew, Mark, and Luke (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2009) 356.

[7] Walter Bauer, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1979) 147.  

[8] Rodger Nishioka, A morning Keynote at Montreat Youth Conference around 2006 or 2007.  

[9] Eugene Peterson, 1452.  Luke 24:25-27.

[10] Walter Bauer, 396.

[11] See Luke 24:32.

[12] Walter Bauer, 503.

[13] Walter Bauer, 187.

[14] Walter Bauer, 291.

[15] John Calvin, 364.

[16] Luke 24:32 – Paraphrased, JHS.

[17] https://www.voanews.com/a/spanish-athlete-spends-500-days-in-cave-/7050521.html.

[archduchessofnowhere]

@elisabeth515 I hope you don't mind me tagging you, but I wanted to find a source for what I said in my tags (because I legit can't remember how I learned that) so I made a quick search and I'm glad to announce that I hadn't made up that fact and that Queen Marie was indeed Albert and Elisabeth's first shipper:

Albert I and Elisabeth met for the first time in the spring of 1897, on the occasion of the funeral of Duchess Sophie Charlotte of Alençon. Prince Albert was 22 years old, Elisabeth, 21. Her paternal aunt Marie Sophie, wife of Francesco II, the last king of the Two Sicilies, also attended the funeral.

It was precisely the "Queen of Naples" who acted as a proxy between the scions of the two illustrious houses. Several times she facilitated their meetings at Saint-Germain-en-Laye, where she had retired following the death of her husband. Elisabeth and Albert, after their initial love at first sight, also met again at the residence of the Dukes of Vendome, the palace in Rue Borghèse, Neuilly, where the official engagement was celebrated on 30 May 1900.

Regolo, Luciano (1997). La regina incompresa: tutto il racconto della vita di Maria José di Savoia

[justice4harwin]

Light’s Corruption-Chapter VII

Summary: With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

After training in Os Alta for two years, the king grows tired of waiting and demands the Sun Summoner joins a western post near the Fjerdan border along with the rest of The Second Army to test her abilities.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty.

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Rating: 18+ (better safe than sorry, u know)

Anyone fancy a playlist?

As usual, the tags are in the comments; if you no longer want to be in the list or wanna be added, please don’t hesitate to let me know :)

Click here for chapter VI

Chapter 7: Within the Palace's Walls

 Dear General Kirigan,

Dear General

Dear Kirigan

Dear Darkling

"Ugh!" Alina let her face drop on top of the paper, not caring if the ink got into her face, and groaned, loudly and at length. "Why?!" She asked into the nothingness of her room.

She had no reason to write to him. She knew he must've had frequent reports of the ongoings of the Little Palace, so she had no other excuse except to admit the truth, which was that she craved his attention, even if he was days away.

This was so pathetic of her; letting go of a life-long unrequited love just to fall into the arms of the first man who complimented her, even if she did feel a strange pull towards him.

What she needed was time for herself. Yes. She had finally said goodbye to Mal, falling for someone else so quickly would do her no good.

Oh, but Saints! The way in which he had kissed her, like he'd been waiting for centuries, like she was a treasure, like he truly wanted her. She had kissed people before, but never like that. She had enjoyed it, sure, but always stopped it before the clothes started to disappear. It usually bored people, but Alina didn't mind that much. It wasn't like when Genya was in the room while she bathed, helping her get to whenever she needed to be in time by pulling at the knots in her hair and handing her a towel. Genya was trustworthy, she was her friend and she had never given her one of those looks that had made her uncomfortable during her training at Poliznaya, nor made an unwanted comment or advance on her figure.

But The Darkling… That day, she had felt more than willing to let him have his way with her; nobody had set her body aflame the way The Darkling had done that afternoon a few weeks prior; she dreamt of it at night and woke up sweaty and hot, and it was a real effort to not daydream about it during her day.

General Imbecile Brute,

I write to you on this day to let you know of the first snow at the Little Palace. It makes quite the pretty paint...from the inside.

Also, I cannot stop thinking about you and your kiss, and I've been staring at the rose you gave me for such long amounts of time I fear my eyes will cross and I'll be stuck like that forever.

Please, tell me: do you feel the same? Mark 'yes' or 'no'.

Forever at your service,

Alina Starkov, Sun Summoner, Idiot.

Ps: You're not an imbecile, only a little rude; and you're not a brute, but some of your manners need polishing. Other than that, you're perfect.

Signed again,

Alina Starkov, she who lacks decency.

She looked at the letter, a low, prolonged, pitiful sound parting from her lips that turned into an animalistic groan. She grabbed the piece of paper, scrunched it into a small ball and threw it into her fireplace.

The snow covered the grounds of the Little Palace almost entirely, the lake would soon be completely frozen, and finalize the beautiful picture. Some Grisha were excited over the opportunity to skate. Alina had never done it, but Marie and Nadia promised to teach her.

From her horse, Alina moved uneasily. She still wasn't used to horse-riding, but Nina had invited her along with a few of her friends, who were all of different orders. It was a chance she wouldn't miss.

She tugged her kefta closer and held onto the reigns, advancing slowly along with the group, heading to the edges of the woods that surrounded the place.

A Fabrikator passed her a flask of kvas, and despite her dislike for the strong drink, Alina took it anyways and tried not to grimace as the liquid went down her throat.

If she were honest, she'd rather be inside the warm walls of her room in the Little Palace, chattering the afternoon away with Genya. She hadn't need to ask if the Tailor could join them at the stables; Alina was well aware of how little regard the other Grisha had for her -until they needed something-.

"I heard a few of you have been working on new keftas." she tried to make light conversation with the woman as she handed her her kvas back.

"Yes." she answered politely, "We're making a special fabric that should give us more freedom of movement during battle."

Alina rose her eyebrows. It wouldn't help her much if she didn't improve her fighting skills, but it was an interesting idea.

"How's it coming along?"

The woman tried to hide a grimace.

"It's complicated, but we're making some progress."

Alina smiled.

"Maybe you can tell me more about it during dinner." she suggested. "I, for once, would love a different type of trousers."

The woman smiled starkly, her blond hair getting on her face.

"They are rather stiff, aren't they?"

"I can barely flex my legs as it is."

The woman, whose name was Lada Alina remembered, agreed.

"I know. They're not suitable." she said in a strange tone, to which Alina gave her an odd, sideways look.

"Did you hear Zoya is back?" Fedyor interrupted, marching up to keep up with them.

Alina stared at him, groaned, and rolled her eyes.

"That's great." she said dryly.

Her absence was nice while it lasted.

"Maybe if I get under her skin and she attacks again, The General will send her off for a longer time. Or better yet, I could actually beat her."

Who was she kidding? Zoya was a formidable fighter, and Alina was just starting to win every now and then. Also, she suspected that Nina might have gone easy on her during their first sparring match a few weeks prior. She hadn't won against her ever since.

"Tell me about it." the woman in question said, rolling her eyes. "I don't understand her obsession with being on The General's inner circle."

"Says the one who is in the inner circle." Fedyor pointed out.

"Barely." Nina made a gesture with her hand, as if trying to rest importance to the matter. "Besides, it's not such a big deal. I don't know why everyone makes such a fuss about it."

"Well, the higher we are, the better we can protect other Grisha." Alina said, almost hesitantly. "I mean, if we have The General's ear, more ideas will flow about. I'm sure everyone has something to contribute to the cause."

"You don't need to worry about that, sun bean;" Nina smirked. "You're the Sun Summoner, it's likely he'll listen to you."

Alina's cheeks flushed as everyone in the group turned to stare at her.

"I think it's good to aim high;" Fedyor said, drifting the attention to himself, thanks the Saints. "As long as it's for the better of the Second Army."

Nina looked away and uttered something only Alina heard.

"Oh, yeah, betterment of forced servitude."

The Summoner stiffened on her saddle at the bitter words. Was Nina unhappy at the Little Palace? Why? She was one of the most powerful Grisha there; she lived in the most secured place in all Ravka, and her General held her in high regard.

A part of Alina wished she had never hidden her light. Maybe it would've been for the better to leave Keramzin, to leave Mal behind sooner.

It also made her think of someone who scarcely passed through her mind those days: her own mother.

She shook her head, ridding herself of such thoughts. She was thankful for the commodities and safe life she had at the Little Palace. Even if she was one of a kind, everyone else seemed to be adapting well to her, especially since she began to summon on her own and join in their little games by the lake.

She had been hesitant about it at first, but Genya insisted that going would be a great opportunity to both show her power and make allies.

"Besides, they won't believe you're a snob or a fraud if you show them a little." she had said, lazily lounging on a chair as they shared a nice tea one afternoon, while the queen took an especially long nap the very same day the Duke of Balakirev had arrived at court.

Lately, Alina felt more normal, and she was sure that her latest choices had a lot to do with it. From showcasing her powers, to sitting in different sections on different tables during meals and just talking normally about trivial things -even if those did exhaust her mind- and wearing an Etherealki kefta, she was more approachable, and the other Grisha seemed to slowly start to notice it too.

"It's not enough."

"We surely do deserve some more credit." she spoke, even if she didn't fully believe in the sentiment. The First Army was full of otkazat'sya, and they didn't have the advantages of bullet-proof clothing, private tents, furs for the winter and three decent meals per day.

It was all so difficult for Alina. She had once envied the advantages The Second Army possessed over The First, yet she couldn't deny there were other kinds of dangers for the Grisha, that not everything was perfect inside the walls of Os Alta.

Like the distrust of those who weren't like them, their fear, tamed only by their usefulness due only to the Black Heretic's greed.

All around her, her fellow Grisha nodded their agreements.

She wondered, briefly, what would Grisha life be like in Ravka if The Fold hadn't been created in the first place. What would happen if she ever managed to tear it down?

She didn't want to dwindle in those thoughts further.

With the Winter Fete approaching, everyone at the Little and Grand Palace seemed to buzz with all kinds of different energy. The servants were comprehensively nervous and stressed as they ran from one place to the other. Alina's fellow Grisha were either excited or indifferent, but none the less they all put the same amount of effort into practicing their yearly demonstration.

As for Alina herself, she had received the news that she was expected to showcase her power in front of the royal family and the other nobles of Ravka.

"The king wanted to throw a bigger party; invite diplomats from all continents and such, but General Kirigan insisted that it wasn't necessary yet." Genya said one afternoon, as Alina braided her hair.

She was seated very still, her eyes continuously darting from one side to the other as if trying to peek at her friend's work, concern etched on her face.

"He seems impatient." Alina commented, to which Genya huffed, accommodating her friend's new possessions on her vanity with a precision that seemed borderline obsessive.

"You have no idea. He can't wait to see the mighty Sun Summoner." she said, pouting and trying to imitate his deeper voice.

Alina frowned, said nothing, and continued braiding, her movements slowing but almost precise.

The Darkling

 Miss Starkov,

Due to my sudden absence, I had no time to notify you that I shall oversee your training personally from now on.

Being far away, I do not wish for you to stall, so I leave you some instructions on what to practice and how, and a few reading recommendations fo-

He leaned back in his chair and sighed.

He was being a fool, and he hated it.

Writing to her with instructions on how to practice her summoning was a foolish idea. She was barely starting and needed overseeing, and the only one besides himself who could help her was his mother, who remained bitter at the woman. He really wanted to know what Alina had said to Baghra to make her so upset.

He almost smiled, feeling something wickedly, childishly happy in his chest at the possibilities.

Tossing the letter into the fire, he leaned back in his chair.

Teaching her through letters would only lead to disaster, but how else would he know about her? How else could he earn her trust while being so far away?

Pathetic.

"Moi Soverennyi." Ivan presented himself, bowing before further entering his tent. He offered him an envelope. "A letter from the Grand Palace."

The Darkling took it and quickly read it, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Although he had convinced the king that inviting foreign diplomats was not yet a good idea, the stupid man insisted that the Sun Summoner performed alongside the other Grisha. Alina was finally able to summon on her own, but he knew a part of her still feared her gift; putting on a show for an audience was not the best idea.

He…worried? for her?

"We will have to be back in time for the Winter Fete."

Ivan grunted. "I hate that thing."

The Darkling nodded in agreement. After all those centuries, he was more than bored of them. It was always the same waste of time and resources for his army, only to entertain the nobles for a few hours. As if they would not go back to turning their back on them the very next day.

Those fools often seemed to forget that his Grisha could have them for lunch if they so wanted it.

Privileged as The Second Army may seem, people were wary of them, even the nobles who lived in the surrounding areas.

"But they will not attempt anything so long as they need us."

"We have little choice, Ivan."

"We could always host it near The Fold and accidently push the royal family inside it." he said, sardonic as usual.

"Tempting." The Darkling smirked, setting the letter aside with little care.

The Heartrender stepped aside to allow him out, and The Darkling marched towards the river, where a few of his fabrikators were working on a new skiff. It wasn't nearly as grand as the one Alina had boarded that fateful day, but that was due to a different purpose.

There was a strange device being placed underneath it.

"Are you sure this will work?" he asked Petya.

The woman hesitated for the briefest moment, and The Darkling reminded himself internally to summon new graves for his Grisha.

"Such a pity." he thought, sincerely.

"Yes. So long as the Squaller sets a slow pace and nobody exerts themselves too much, they should be able to pass in relative tranquillity."

He had a feeling it would not work. His Grisha had already tried several times to cross through the river, but David Kostyk was sure his new invention would cancel out the soft sounds of the skiff against the water and dwindle the sounds of a heartbeat.

"Do not expect the path to be clear." he said.

"That is exactly why we're going, sir." a Squaller, Igor, approached and bowed. "If this works and we can clear the path, we should be able to make it to the other side eventually."

"Let us hope it does not take too many tries." he said.

Too many Grisha lives, he had wanted to say.

"David is rarely wrong, Moi Soverennyi." Petya said.

That was true. David was one of his best Grisha, which was why The Darkling tried to keep him inside the safety of the Little Palace's walls unless absolutely necessary.

Still, The Darkling though the plan stupid and a waste; but it was either that or forcing Alina into The Fold, and she was far from being ready to make a crossing, even through its thinnest point up north.

As a Squaller, a Heartrender, two Healers and two Inferni boarded the skiff, followed by a few strong otkazat'sya men from the First Army, The Darkling thought of David.

He thought of Alina.

And his thoughts returned to David.

With a sharp nod, he sent off the small team to do their last test and headed back to his tent, where he began to write a letter addressed to Mr. Kostyk.

Click here for chapter 8

[j0hn-deacons-perm]

I’ve been reading Is This the Real Life: the Untold Story of Queen and some things in this...

-Brian and Roger got into it after a show one time and Roger just went in with hairspray in Bri’s face

-Freddie met with a group of people in tight satin pants and couldn’t sit down so he looked around and tried to not attract attention to himself while undoing them

-Freddie was also so exhausted during their US tour at one point he just completely passed out, face in his breakfast

-Roger chose the shirt Fred wanted to wear for their first Rainbow show so he stormed off during soundcheck and brian begged for him to come back

-Also during their first US tour, Brian got himself a love affair in New Orleans and had to be rushed back to the UK after waking up in New York with full blown hepatitis due to a vaccine he received earlier in the year.. Freddie got herpes apparently? Icons.

-Freddie kept up with visiting Brian in the hospital while they worked on Sheer Heart Attack since homeboy had an operation after he was cleared for his hepatitis bed rest then had an ulcer shortly after.

-Roger didn’t like his hair in the cover photo for Sheer Heart Attack so they added extensions in the final photo. 

-Years after them leaving Trident, John was met with a former employee who recognized him at an airport and just completely shut him down. We love a king who knows his worth.

Edit #1 since I’ve read a bit more...

-Brian would somewhat irritate the person making coffee and tea. “...and then I’d ask Brian what he wanted. Then there’d be this pause and then he’d ask ‘How many teas are you making? How many coffees?...Two?...Three? Is it easier for you to make another coffee or another tea?’ You could spend 10 minutes just doing this. He was trying to make it easier for me, but in the end I’d be like, ‘Brian! Just tell me what you want!’”

-Bri thought Death on Two Legs was too mean and felt bad singing it.

-Freddie shutting down homophobes in the audience by shining the spot light on them and asking them to repeat what they said.

-Freddie didn’t believe the gold disc for a Night at the Opera was the album so he broke it open to play it and it was indeed their album. He was suspicious of EMI after everything at Trident which, I mean, valid.

-Mary out here recognizing her and Fred’s relationship was crumbling, accepted it and hugged him when he came out. We love a good support system.

-When in Australia, they had to go on foot to their venue due to a festival taking place. No cars could pass. But Freddie being extra, he was driven through in a limo while drinking champagne.

Edit #2

-Fred was being driven to the studio and they crashed so he went to a nearby house to use their phone...in a silk kimono with Queen written on the back...almost dressed in full stage attire. They let him in, made him tea and chatted.

-During their show at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, Brian’s amp exploded and he ran over to tell Freddie but it was in his mic pretty much so everyone heard him panicing. Fred waved Bri away saying “Oh, just jump around a bit and the silly bastards won’t know the difference!”

-If Fred walked somewhere, a car would follow him with the door open in case he got tired. This boy is so extra I swear to god....

-I ALMOST FORGOT!! They had clocks as promo items for News of the World and they sounded kind of fancy so I looked it up and.....

Bitch...I low-key want one.

Edit #3

-That feeling when Roger could not confirm but didn’t doubt there being dwarves with cocaine at the Jazz debut party.

-In Munich recording the Game, the boys would split off to do their own thing after recording for the day. Freddie would explore the gay club scene while the others got drinks, dinner and a club then would meet back up with Freddie at the hotel. Taylor’s suite (not sure if it’s Roger or Crystal tbh) was the HH....the hetero hangout and Freddie’s was the PPP...the Presidential Pouff Parlour.

-John was nicknamed Ostrich because ‘He’s was like a bird who stays quiet until it finally lays a perfect egg.’ Kinda wish there was more about John in this book tbh

-the author really out here typing Deakey....unbelievable. Either Deacy or Deaky, binch. Come on.

-According to Crystal, Roger had his drum case be a close up of his face in case he had amnesia and needed to know what he looked like but we all know the truth, Rog 👀

-During a late night drinking sesh, one of the crew put on the Flash Gordon soundtrack and John, shit faced, asked who it was.

Edit #4

-Apprently Cool Cat was the first song written for/on Hot Space and Brian wasn’t a huge fan of it or Back Chat because it wasn’t heavy enough. Adding onto that, Staying Power and Body Language were thought to be too gay and Bri wanted things to be for everyone of different persuasions. Brian....let the gays have something.

-With the Works and Hot Space being my top two Queen albums...I was disappointed how much was just blown over with the recording process tbh.

-Paul Prenter was a massive cunt but everyone knows that.

-John was busted after a Phil Collins concert because he was drunk driving. He was driving his new Porsche but then got his license suspended for a year. Brian was a guest DJ for a radio show where he played Stevie Wonder’s Don’t Drive Drunk and dedicated the song to “John, whom some of you may know has had a little problem with his car recently.’

-Freddie’s pick up line for Jim was ‘how big is your dick’....I mean, in a way, it worked??? Iconic.

-Roger owned up to having their sound guy set false sound limits for the groups before them during Live Aid so when Queen went on, they were the loudest.

Edit #5, the last one since I finished the book

-Paul Prenter should have had someone kick him in the shins tbh fuck that guy

-Brian met Anita through a Eastenders event and he was gushing about how much he loved the show since Chrissie had him watch it then invited her to Wembley which she turned him down.

-Also fast forward to the later half of the 90′s, Anita helped Brian get into therapy for his depression and other emotional matters. We love a supportive queen.

-When the book finally talks more about John and it’s him saying the We Will Rock You musical sucked and he having an affair with a 25 year old erotic dancer like come on my dude....why couldn’t I be her??? But for real, I looked into it and found an article and wowza. When sd!Deaky be an actual thing????

-The press’ harassment of Freddie and his inner circle during his last years is absolutely horrendous to read about tbh. I think it was Roger (feel free to correct me on that if I’m wrong) who crashed his car because the camera flashes temporarily blinded him when he was trying to visit Freddie.

-Also Freddie was able to see the Bohemian Rhapsody clip from Wanye’s World since Mike Myers sent him a tape. Bri and Fred watched it and according to Brian, Freddie loved it and sent his seal of approval.

There’s the things I found interesting reading this biography. If you’ve read it or have any other fun facts, add them on my dudes!

[amiramorozova]

Dual Summoner x The Darkling pt. 44

pairing: Dual Summoner Amira Silina x Darkling General Kirigan/ Aleksander Morozova

word count: 2196

I wasn't sure how long I slept that night, or what time it was before I even woke up but I could feel the shift in the bed as I yawned covering my mouth. I felt a kiss on my cheek as he got near my ear "Well, Mrs. Morozova good morning." He whispered in my ear as I laughed a bit and I adjusted to look at him kissing him. "Good morning Aleksander." I said 

I got up from the bed as I started to get my undergarments back on and then I chose to wrap myself in my kefta to cover up in case we had company. I knew our meals would soon be arriving and that was important to be decent. I heard the sound of him getting his pants on as his buckle was clear as I looked out the window. I knew things were different now, they would never be the same. As I felt his arms go around me as he looked out the window with me. 

"From now on, we are in this together. Morozova's amplifiers are to be united as soon as we can get the other two." Aleksander said as I sighed. "When do we set out to get the next one?" I asked knowing that this was my life now. I was doing this willingly as a knock could be heard on the door and we both looked over. "Enter." Aleksander said as Genya opened the door to see us. Bowing she had a bag "An outfit was prepared for her to wear under her Kefta." Genya said as Aleksander nod. "Prepare my wife for her day." Aleksander said as he walked away in his general attire to do things.

Genya walked over to me as I took the bag seeing the attire as I took it to his bathroom and changed while I walked out with my Kefta in my arms. Genya nod as I put the kefta on soon afterward and I looked in his mirror seeing the Kefta that Genya had presented last time with the darkling symbol over my heart. "It's fitting." I said as I took a seat and she started to take her things from her kit and she smiled. "I hope your wedding night wasn't too bad." Genya said

I thought about last night and knew it was exactly as it should be, things were going to go well. "It was perfect, I just.." I said as I knew the desire to be pregnant was there but it did not mean such things. "What?" Genya asked as I looked at her with a smile. "I just want to have a family and try not to feel such pressure of the fold." I admitted. Genya seemed surprised but I guess that was to be expected as I laughed a bit. "Don't look so surprised, don't we all want a family someda-..." I realized I was crossing a line with this, Genya had endured a lot from the King. I wanted to free her from the Queen but that wasn't in my power yet. 

"I will find a way to free you Genya." I said as she continued to work, I noticed she wasn't in the white but red. I wondered if the King was putting an attack on her, I knew there was going to be a movement but I needed to go. "You seem to be in a lot of thought." Genya said, "It's almost time to go after the 2nd amplifier soon, I don't need all this power when I've worked for what I've had." I said, "Well, he is taking you back by the fold soon. He wants to wait till the next Winter Fete before we all go." Genya said

I hadn't even been paying attention but I just shrugged a bit before getting up just after she was done. I turned and looked at her Kefta seeing it was the corporaleki red. "You were given the Red Kefta." I said, "I never liked this shade of red, it clashes with my hair." Genya said, but I knew what this meant to her. She led me to an area where she showed me a box and I looked at it seeing letters as I saw they were opened and she showed me as I picked it up seeing they were Alina's letters. "Why do you have Alina's letters to someone named Mal?" I asked her as she sighed. "General Kirigan thinks it would be best to help her let go of her old life." Genya said 

No wonder Baghra told me to give my letters to her. He might have done that with me. I thought 

"What if this Mal is her soulmate?" I asked as Genya sighed, "She won't know who her soulmate is, if she can't even use her power." Genya said. I knew that if Alina couldn't even use her power that was true but she was holding back. I had to accept that this might be the best plan but I went back as I looked for a bit seeing letters as I found they were opened seeing Mal had written to her. 

Tracker, Corporal of the 36th division. Nico was a tracker, corporal of the 35th division how weird that two trackers with the same unique gift. I thought 

I left walking away as I knew there wasn't a lot I had to do at the moment going about my day as I would any other day. Never alone, now that I was his wife Marie and Nadia were full guardians graduated with the roles. We were not to split up and Nico was to be the tracker who could track my movements if we needed to be. 

The few days that passed were boring but the nights were entertaining in other ways. One day Aleksander had to leave for a bit as we walked down and I wondered if this was a joke but then as we walked I saw his carriage. I sighed a bit as he turned and kissed me "I will be gone a week, you are in charge of the Grisha in my absence Amira." Aleksander said 

I knew this was what he had to do but I still hated it, but I nod knowing that there wasn't much I could say. I knew as the General's wife I could go with him bu the 2nd army needed me here with everything going on. My family was here within the little palace and the 2nd army needed a leader. As I watched him go in the carriage as I knew he was even having a hard time walking away from me as I watched the carriage soon leave. Alina came out as she noticed me and I looked at her. 

"Hi Alina." I said to her as she looked at me probably seeing I wasn't in the best mood as I looked at my wrist watching as his initials were fading with the distance he was getting from the little palace. I kept watching until they completely disappeared from my wrist but I knew there was always my dreams. "Are you ok Amira?" Alina asked as I put on a smile and nod. "Come on, let's see what your progress has been you've been here a few weeks now." I said 

I led her to where the other summoners were and we walked down the path that grass had grown since I last walked down it. It felt odd but the girl who would walk down this path was a lonely girl who had to practice the sun alone. "You came down this path before?" Alina asked, "I was a lonely girl who had to hide her sun powers. I found being alone more comforting sometimes and lonely at the same time." I said as we made it seeing it hadn't changed. I put my hands together as I formed the sun and circled it around me as Alina saw how vibrant my sun powers were and I watched as she put her hands together and formed a ball as she separated into two but then she tried to circle it around herself as I did but it wasn't very strong. "How do you do it?" Alina asked as I let mine go. 

We both sat down in the grass as I sighed, "As Baghra told you, I've had ten years to master my powers. In fact the day that marks eleven years will be coming up and I'll be nineteen by then but my father worried the risk of the Dual Summoner being found out so he thought I was safest here." I said as I knew Aleksander would be back before my birthday. "It was lonely but over time Baghra took me under her training, she didn't treat me the same as others. She treated me as family but she reminded me if she was going to train her own son when he was my age that she would treat him the same way." 

Alina remembered that General Kirigan was Baghra's son, something we'd told her when she admitted I was going to be her daughter-in-law. I slid my finger across my collarbone as it glowed slightly from where I absorbed the stag's necklace. "You really do have the amplifier." Alina said, "Yes, but we can get you an amplifier. It can't be Morozova's amplifiers though, the three from what I've learned are supposed to be together but there are other amplifiers." I said 

Alina seemed hesitant but we went to the library where we started to look over the amplifiers. "Interested in the amplifiers?" A familiar voice said as I looked over seeing the apparat, "Sol Koroleva, you seem surprised to see me back around the little palace." The apparat said approaching noticing "We are still friends, Sankta Amira?" 

Alina must have noticed my hesitation as she felt it too but he noticed the book we were looking at over other amplifiers. "Looking for an amplifier?" The apparat asked. "My friend Alina is interested in one." I said as he seemed to look and notice we didn't pull out the book of Morozova's amplifiers. "Not interested in the mythical stag?" The apparat asked as I looked down at the book. "The Stag was found, it's been killed so it's not an option for my friend." I said though this man had creeped me out, I had been in here since I was a kid reading up on the lore of the stag for years and I still felt it even with the amplifier within me it felt like the stag was still alive in a way. I knew the apparat had wanted to be friends, it was how he approached me when I had first come in here one day. 

"You wear black now Sol Koroleva, the general's color." The apparat said as I rubbed my thumb over my wedding ring. It was the only way I felt a sense of peace now that Aleksander was gone for a week but we kept looking. "Did you kill the stag to get the amplifier?" The apparat asked as I knew he probably suspected I had it. "No, I sparred it's life. It turns out that there was something in the books that they didn't know. It's not the Grisha who kills the animal gets it's power, it's also given to the Grisha they choose to weild that power." I said without looking at the apparat. 

We found a few that Alina decided were good enough for her, but I knew we needed a tracker to find it. When we were leaving the library the apparat stopped us as he offered a book to Alina. "A present to mark the start of friendship. Maybe they will be calling for Sankta Alina and Sankta Amira together to destroy the fold." The apparat said. We were able to leave but I had to wait a few days before sending out the request to find the amplifier. 

Hopefully, Aleksander is doing ok. I thought

I wasn't sleeping as well as I could have, Aleksander would show up in my dreams and he knew of my request to send out the request to others to look for that amplifier but not kill it. With his approval, I was only able to send it that way. Still, I felt so useless at the moment as all I wanted was him. I knew that was fair being we hadn't been married long and duty called but still, it upset me. 

Waiting for this week to be over was the worst part, I kept to myself most of the time but watched Alina as she improved. News of Prince Nikolai going away temporarily was heard of and I didn't mind knowing he was trying to persuade me but I had made my choice. I was also very careful with the apparat back which I had informed Aleksander with the connection we had with our dreams. He was not happy to hear about that but it didn't seem to bother him. 

we'll get through this.  I thought 

Taglist: @lifeisingrey​

[kittybellestark]

Back To The Beginning

This one shot literally took so long to write but I’m glad it’s finally finished. I didn’t think I’d ever get it done i stg. Basically Peter starts to remember his parents. 

TW: Panic Attack, Blood, speaking about experimentation/torture.

“Tony, I need your help!!”

It’s 11:00pm on a non-patrol night. Peter is supposed to be in his apartment, it’s not the weekend so he definitely isn’t supposed to be here at night. Tony felt the anxiety build inside of him. hearing Peter ask for help was nearly unheard of, and for him to make an appearance at the lab this late at night was only something he did when injured too badly. This was unusual.

Looking up at Peter, Tony see’s he looks relatively not injured. Though Peter’s look is a cause for concern. He’s wearing pajamas and his face is red. Peter’s still wearing slippers and it’s obvious that he doesn’t have a wallet on him, only his phone. Which means Peter walked to the tower from Queens -as his webshooters are not on his wrists- but he most likely ran, judging by his red face and the beads of sweat on his forehead.

“What’s wrong?”

Tony was quick to move, getting Peter to sit down and drink water. The boys eyes were wide and frightened.

“Okay you’re going to think I’m insane because I think I’m insane but I promise this is real and I need help. Something is suspicious about May. And me. And my parents. Something is wrong Tony. I don’t think I’m unsafe but there’s something wrong here.”

“Start from the beginning kiddo. Keep your breathing easy. I can’t help you if I don’t know what the problem is.”

Peter nodded. He looked ready to cry. He was obviously exhausted and Tony was trying to keep his cool from Peter bringing up May and how he’s suspicious of her. Peter was his kid and Tony would do anything to keep him safe.

“Right, yeah. So remember our talk last week, the one where I sorta told you I perceive you in a father figure way and then you saying you kinda think of me as a son? Well I talked to May about it because I felt guilty. Like I had a dad and an uncle who raised me and it just feels selfish and I just needed extra reassurance okay. And May was upset. And she said that it wasn’t fair to my father especially considering he died recently.” Peter paused. “My dad died when I was 6, Ben died just over a year ago and I know she didn’t get them confused.”

Tony went to talk, to reassure Peter or to comfort him but Peter kept going.

“I thought she was just confused. But then I found some pictures of when my parents were alive. And May and Ben were never there. I can find pictures of places they said I was with them and only them, but then the pictures are with my parents. So I did had Ned hack into my grandparents old medical files. Richard and Mary were both only children. Ben is not related to Richard. There’s no adoption forms or anything. So technically May and Ben aren’t my aunt and uncle right?”

“Pete-“

“No Tony, listen. There’s more. May and Ben always pushed for me to work at Oscorp right? That’s where my parents worked so it makes sense. But May had pushed it more since the spider bite which doesn’t make sense, even pushing it even though you’re a Stark and obviously I’m going to work at SI when I’m older. It doesn’t make sense. But I was thinking it’s a legacy thing. But no.

“It doesn’t make sense that I don’t remember anything before my parents died. Doctor’s said it was the trauma of my parents dying. But I was six I couldn’t have really understood that. Unless something also happened to me, which brings me to my next big woah moment. MJ has been having me meditate recently because it’s good for my mental health and whatnot. And I remember being on an airplane with my parents. There’s no evidence that I was ever on an airplane, except before I was six years old. But there’s a ticket under my name for the same day my parents died. And if I go into the airport security cameras on that day I am there. You can see me boarding the plane. So how could I live through a plane crash and not my parents. That doesn’t make sense, especially seeing as my whole life I was told I was staying with May and Ben when my parents died.

“Tony, none of this adds up. And let’s just circle back to the spider bite. That should have killed me. It would have killed any other human. To have lived through the bite I would have had to had been altered or experimented on to work genetically with the spiders they were using. That’s the only way I wouldn’t have died. Which means Oscorp knows about me being Spider-Man, which makes sense because they’ve approached me multiple times since gaining my powers to intern there, even before I met you.

“Something is really wrong, Tony. And I need help.”

Tony agreed to help Peter. Of course he did. The duo researches Mary and Richard Parker and then they research May and Ben Parker. May and Ben never existed before they took custody of Peter. Everything Peter said was backed up. There was evidence for everything.

Peter’s life no longer made sense and Tony feared for his sons safety.

“I’m not comfortable with you going home, kid. None of this adds up.”

Peter leaned forward resting against the work table nodding along to what Tony said. He wasn’t very comfortable either. How could he go home knowing his whole life has been a lie.

“I’ll stay tonight, but I have to go back. We need more proof. Maybe we can get a DNA sample from May.”

Huffing in frustration, Tony pinches the bridge of his nose feeling at a loss.

“When you go back home I’m going to give you some stuff to set up around your room. It’ll activate every time May walks in there, record what she’s doing and saying. It’ll alert me if she does anything to you. I’ll also talk to my lawyers.”

The next day Tony unwillingly brought Peter back home. With a bag full of bugs and cameras, all directly linked to FRIDAY who will tell Tony as soon as anything remotely suspicious were to happen. Peter was well aware of exactly where to put each microphone and camera and that they would only be activated with May’s presence. 

Leaving Peter alone with May, felt impossible. Tony’s chest felt tight with anxiety, worried that this would be a bad idea, that his kid would wind up hurt in the end. Peter being left to May when the facts didn’t add up. Everything was a little too off yet so well put together with their small family that it seemed like a gust of wind could bring it all toppling to the ground. 

From there is took a few hours before May got back to her apartment, then a little while later before she started talking about Peter’s future with Oscorp. At the end of the week Peter finally told Tony that he had a DNA sample from May. 

As Peter entered the lab, toothbrush in hand, Tony had everything set up, FRIDAY ready to go through every person who has ever given DNA ever to find out who May is.

“What if I was kidnapped as a child?” 

“Then the two of us figure it out. We do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Tony wraps his arms around Peter, letting the teen rest his head on Tony’s shoulder. 

“Boss, I found a match, would you two like to hear?” FRIDAY finally said after an agonizing fifteen minutes.

Tony looked towards Peter, waiting for confirmation before answering. Peter stared at Tony, mouth open clearly hesitating about what to do. After a beat Peter finally nodded, and Tony gave FRIDAY the go-ahead. 

“May Parker has a 100% DNA match to Mary Parker. I do apologize Peter, but it seems May is actually your mother.” 

Everything went silent at that for Peter. His ears were ringing and the world went all fuzzy. He blinked back tears before taking a deep breath and nodding. Tony held both of Peter’s shoulders, keeping him grounded. 

“Oh god, oh man, she lied to me. She lied a lot. She can’t be- she can’t. Tony, Tony, my whole life. She faked her death. And then got custody as me, and told me she’s my aunt. Oh no, that means Ben was probably- that I watched, Tony she said my Dad died recently, Tony I watched him get murdered. They lied to me. They lied.”

Tony pulled Peter into his arms, bringing the two of them to the ground. Peter ended up in Tony’s lap, head in the crook of his mentors shoulders. Tony started to rock the two of them, hoping to bring the sobbing boy some comfort.

~~~~~~

A week after finding out May was technically his biological mother, the nightmares set in for Peter. Well, more like repressed memories coming to him when he sleeps, but nightmares nonetheless. It was already a battle to get Tony to agree to let Peter go home, with promises that he would soon talk to May. Going to Tony about this now would only lead to Peter never going home. 

Sleeping was hard though. Memories of being moved from facility to facility with Mary and Richard strapping him down and taking needles to his skin, injecting him with things that burned, that were so hot but also so cold. Watching Richard take a scalpel to his body, seeing Mary break his bones. Having his parents shock him until he tasted blood.

It wasn’t right. Peter knew it wasn’t right. He stops other parents from doing this to their kids. And now he’s here. He know’s he went through it, the abuse. But that was Mary and Richard. Not May and Ben. They may be the same, but the abuse, it hasn’t been since they started lying to him. Not since they pretended that Peter wasn’t their son. They’ve not hurt him like that since they faked their own death.

And yet Oscorp has been up his ass since Spider-Man. Doubled down since May found out. He’s been followed by people who may have put it together. Who may know his actual identity. 

Peter know’s he should go to Tony. He know’s he should talk to May. Peter is acutely aware that he is an abused child. That his parents abused him. experimented on him. He shouldn’t have lived through the spider bite, not without previous experimentation. He’d be dead if it wasn’t for Mary and Richard or May and Ben, whoever they were. They saved his life with what they did.  

But what if this was Ned’s life? Or MJ’s? OR Betty’s? Or even Flash? If this was literally anyone else’s life Peter wouldn’t stand for it. He wouldn’t let them think that everything was okay in their life. He would talk them out of it. He would support them and help them find other options. But this is his life. And now it’s different. And it shouldn’t be. Spider-Man stops this from happening to other children. Stops the abuse, helps get them into good homes. Yet Peter Parker isn’t doing anything for himself because as far as he’s aware it’s in the past. 

Now Peter is sitting inside a restaurant with May. They’re supposed to be having dinner together. But he needs to know. He has questions and he wants the answers. His phone is on his lap recording, and he that Tony has Happy tailing him, which means he’s right outside if anything happens. 

“So, uh, you know that MJ and I have been meditating together right? She says it’s good for people’s mental health and can help then deal with some personal stuff.” Peter starts saying once the food has arrived. May nods. “Well, I think it’s working. Which is great but I’m remembering some weird things from when Mary and Richard were alive.”

May raised her eyebrow, taking a think before she answers, the fork she was hold with chicken on the end twirling in the air. 

“Are you sure about that Pete? I mean not to say I don’t believe you but the doctors have said it’s extremely unlikely that you’ll ever regain your memories from when your parents were alive. Are you sure you’re actually remember and not just creating these stories in your head about them again?”

“Wait what? Creating stories- again? May, I have no clue what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh, honey. Please don’t tell me you repressed this. When you were you younger you created this whole story about how Mary and Richard would hurt you and take your blood and it was horrible. You worked yourself up into such a frenzy about it that Ben and I had to put you in a hospital to help you. You were in the hospital for months. Do you not remember that?” Peter shook his head. “Honey, if what you remember of your parents is them experimenting on you or whatever convoluted thing you made up then we need to get you some more help.”

Peter was confused. He didn’t remember May and Ben shipping him away. There’s no memory of going to a hospital or saying that his parents hurt him. Peter was sure that never happened. It couldn’t have. And for May to know what Peter was going to his what his memories were. That’s wrong. She knows. She knows.

“I ran a DNA test. I know you’re actually Mary.”

May or Mary whoever she is dropped her fork, her face showing her surprise. 

“Peter, baby, I don’t know where you got that idea from but I’m not Mary, I’m not your mother. I don’t know how you made up this story now but you’re wrong. Get up Peter. We’re going to go get you some help.”

Heartbreaking, Peter felt his family shatter. For the first time in Peter’s life he looked at May and saw a stranger. To tell him he’s making this all up, that he needs help. She’s never done this before. May- Mary- May, she’d never make him feel like he was a liar. Peter had always felt validated by her. May didn’t even do this when Peter went to her about Skip. 

May got up from the table grabbing Peter by his arm and trying to pull him up with her. Peter continued to stay seated, refusing to go with her. Wanted to finish this conversation before this family ended. 

“Sit the fuck down, Mary. I’m not done yet.” Peter heard himself spit out, voice feeling detached. 

Mary sat down across from her son, a scowl set on her face. Food forgotten, her foot tapping. 

“I was on that plane too. I remember being there. There was never a May and Ben Parker before then. Don’t play dumb with me either, Mom, I go to the best school in New York that works in conjunction with the best colleges in the country. I have an internship with a certified genius and have helped develop products at SI, and regularly work with the top three smartest people in the world, and they don’t dumb things down so I can understand. I can keep up with them and I make them see things they didn’t before. I’ve corrected Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. Don’t tell me I’m crazy.”

The two stayed silent staring at each other. The server came around to check in and they only nodded. After ten minutes Mary finally broke the silence. 

“What do you want to know?” 

“Why did you fake your death, create identities that are literally related to me, but not fake my death? You told me you were dead for years. Why?” 

“It was the only way to protect you without ruining your life. I did what I had to do.” Mary’s voice was cold in a way that Peter hasn’t heard since he was young, and strapped to a table.

“How could you ever protect me when you were to the one to hurt me. You and Richard. You strapped me to a table, poked me with needles, injected me with experimental drugs, broke my bones and cut me open and shocked me when I didn’t do what you wanted me too. I was a child and you tortured me.”

“You think I wanted to? You’re my baby. I didn’t want to do those things, but I had too.”

“Why?”

“Peter, we’re done, we’re going.”

“Not until you answer me.”

“We’re leaving.”

“Answer me, Mary.”

“Oscorp. Norman Osborn. That’s why.”

Peter nodded. It was what he was expecting. Of course he was. He just wanted it to be different. He wanted Mary to say anything else. But it was her job. She got paid to do those things to him. Mary could have said no, could have quit her job. Richard too. They could have done something. Anything. 

It was a choice. They chose their jobs over him. They valued Peter as a lab rat, and their job as their child. Peter wasn’t important. Not to Mary, not to Richard. Not in the way he should have been.

“Alright.” Peter said. “I can’t go home with you. I can’t trust you anymore. I’m sorry Mary, but this just isn’t working with us anymore. Someone will be in contact.”

They made eye contact again. And Peter finally stood up. He tapped a button on the watch he was given from Tony, only tapped it once, to let Happy know he needs a ride, to let Tony know he needs him. His phone went into his pocket.

Just as his back turned to Mary, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. There was the sound of gun being cocked behind him. The people in the restaurant as gasped and screamed, chairs moving and people trying to shuffle away. Peter turned back around seeing May holding a gun, aiming it right at him.

“You’re not going to Tony. Tony motherfucking Stark doesn’t get to lay claim to you. You are mine Peter. You are my child, you are my responsibility, you are mine and you are coming home with me. Now put your hands up baby, I can’t have you calling him. We need to go. You need help. We have to go see the doctor.”

She was shaking, tears running down her face. All Peter could see was his aunt. He could only see May. He couldn’t see Mary and that made it hurt more. He raised his hands, putting them behind his head. He found the his watch easily, clicking the buttons in rapid succession, as many times necessary to get help as soon as possible.

“May, May, please. You can’t- please. You hurt me. Over and over again. It was your choice. Please don’t hurt me anymore. Put the gun down, please. You know I won’t go willingly. I won’t, I will let you shoot me. Kill me, May, do to me what was done to Ben-Richard. Make sure no one can ever have me if you can’t. It’s the only way you can keep me safe right? By making sure I’m dead?” Peter sobbed, moving slowly onto his knees, trying to not be a threat to Mary. “You are scaring me. I used to feel safe with you May. You made me feel safe. But Mary, I don’t feel safe with you. I’d rather be dead then go to whatever place you want me too. You either need to kill me, or let me go to Tony. Either way he’ll make sure you go to jail. But I’ll try and get him to lighten up the sentence if you let me walk out of here tonight.” 

Peter was crying. And near incoherent, he wanted things to be normal. He wanted his Aunt May and he wanted to be at home watching a bad hallmark movie throwing popcorn at the tv. He wanted them to order cheap takeout food when May inevitably burnt dinner.

He could see the people trapped in the restaurant in them taking videos of them. He knew this was probably live on Facebook or Instagram or Tiktok or wherever they post live videos now. Tony was without a doubt watching when FRIDAY picked up his face online. Everyone at school would probably see this, him begging Mary to kill him instead of kidnapping him. 

Peter could hear the sound of repulsors, both of the suit and of the quinjet. He knew Mary only had limited time before Tony got here, and only a little bit more time before whatever available Avengers show up. Happy was probably busy securing the perimeter for the police. Or maybe he was working to get some of the hostages out.

“I don’t want to kill you Pete. I don’t want to kill you, it’s the last thing I want to do. So you need to come with me. You cannot go to Tony Stark. He can’t solve your problems. Let’s go. We can be together, forever. We can finally be the family I always wanted us to be. The family you always wanted to have. Mother and Son. We wouldn’t be Aunt and Nephew now that you know.”

Mary was shaking, her face red, finger on the trigger, safety turned off. She was ready to shoot her son, her child, her baby. She was fighting a losing battle. She said all the wrong things and she’s acting the wrong way. 

Iron Man touched down outside. 

“You have a minute Mary, let me leave, Tony is outside. It’ll be better if you let me go.” It was a final plea, he knew it probably wouldn’t do anything but it was worth the shot.

There was a beat of silence. 

“If I can’t have you then no one can.” Her voice was cold.

A repulsor charged. Mary was out of time. They both knew it. 

A shot rung out.

The window shattered.

Mary flew to the side.

Peter fell backwards.

Tony charged in.

Mary lost her grip on the gun, it skidded across the restaurant floor. Far out of her reach. She pushed herself away, trying to escape Iron Man. The attempt was in vain. Tony stood over her, face plate on the suit flicked up.

“You’re done Mary. You don’t get to hurt him anymore.” 

The Avengers swarmed in detaining Mary, working on getting the hostages out, having them checked by medical. 

“She shot me.” Peter cried out, trying to suck in air.

Tony turned to Peter, seeing the boy lying down. Pool of blood around him. A gun shot wound to the stomach. Peter was smiling teeth stained red. Tony broke out of his suit, skidding to his knees beside him. Tony put pressure on the wound trying to smile at Peter, to try and comfort his kid.

“Peter, kid, I’m right here. I’m right here bambino, it’s okay. She’s not going to hurt you anymore. You’re gonna move in with me, I’ve already got all the paperwork sort out. I promise you kid, you’ve got a home with me. I love you kid, it’s okay, we’ll be okay eventually.”

Peter nodded, tears streaming down his face. He didn’t hurt anymore, nothing hurt.

“I’m sorry Tony. I’m sorry. That was stupid of me. I shouldn’t’ve confronted her. She tried to kill me.” He coughed up blood. “I thought she’d tell me it was a lie. Mary never loved me.”

“It’ll be okay bambi, I’ve got you now.”

~~~~~

Peter woke up in the medbay. The lights were dimmed, Tony was asleep with his head on the Peter bed, Tony’s hand resting on Peter’s. The window’s were tinted so he couldn’t see out, and the door was closed most of the way closed. Peter grabbed a cup of water sitting on the nightstand, taking a sip and putting it back down.

“Tony?” Peter whispered, waking the man up.

“Hey Pete,” Tony smiled once he woke up, voice still sleepy, eyes willed with worry. “You comfortable? Can I get you anything? Whatever you need kid, I’ll get it for you.”

“She tried to kill me, Tony. She’d rather me dead, then alive with you. She’s the reason I’m like this. She made me a freak. Because of her I’m some mutant. She never loved me.”

“Oh Peter.” Tony sighed as Peter started sobbing.

Tony got up, crawling into the bed with Peter careful not to irritate the wound. He wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him into his chest. Peter sobbed harder, clinging to Tony.

“You’re no freak Peter. You’re not just some mutant either. You are my kid though, my son, even if not biologically. You are so important to me Peter. I’m so sorry I couldn’t take care of you. I’m so sorry that Mary lied to you you’re whole life, but you’re my kid okay? You are Peter Parker or whoever you want to be. I’m proud of you. You deserved to be loved, bambino.”

“I don’t even want to be a Parker anymore. I don’t want to be related to my parents anymore.” 

Tony wiped the tears off his son’s face. They made eye contact, Peter’s red glassy eyes and Tony’s watery eyes. 

“Then be a Stark. Or a Carbonell. Or a Potts. Or whatever other last name there is that isn’t mine or Peppers. Right. Be a Hogan or a Rhodes. You can have whatever last name you could possibly want. Rogers. Barton. Romanoff. Banner. Odinson. Maximoff. Barnes. Wilson. You don’t have to be a Parker if you don’t want to be. But personally I like the sound of you being Peter Stark, though Peter Potts has a nice ring to it too. We could hyphenate too.”

Peter laughed. “Peter Stark-Potts-Rogers-Barton-Romanoff-Banner-Odinson-Maximoff-Barnes-Wilson? Is that what you want my name to be.”

“No you silly goose. Maybe Peter Stark-Potts. Or Peter Potts-Stark. Whatever you’re comfortable with. I won’t judge. Basically I wanted to say that Pepper and I want to keep custody of you. We currently have temporary custody, because it’s up to you. We didn’t want you left out. And eventually we’d like to adopt you too.” Tony paused for a beat. “But, I feel like we’re having this conversation entirely too soon and I should let you grieve first. Mary’s not dead, that was the wrong word. She’s alive. But I figured you’d be grieving the family you lost. So we can talk about this down the line. When you’re comfortable. But Pep and I will need to know the custody thing soon at least. Gotta keep CPS off our asses at some point.”

“Tony?”

Tony hummed in response.

“Thank you.”

[black-streak]

Waiting for the Worms - Nobody Home

Part 7

Warnings less? In effect here? But still be aware of course. Condensing a lot for the sake of timelines matching up and consistency in pacing. (Okay, so maybe I have Mari's entire plotline figured out and am mostly playing Jason's by ear, call me out on it)

Closed list of nice people who I regularly hurt for amusement: @northernbluetongue @thethirdwheelfriend @shizukiryuu @theatreandcomicfreak @michellemagic @karategirl119 @moonlightstar64 @my-name-is-michell @mystery-5-5 @zalladane @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @miraculousdisapointment @dorkus-minimus @jardimazul @allthebooksandcrannies @g-arya @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @persephonescat @mycupisbroken @luciferge @18-fandoms-unite-08 @dawnwave16 @alwaysreblogneverpost @kris-pines04 @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @weird-pale-blonde-person @you-will-never-know-how-i-think @kokotaru @naclychilli @slytherinhquinn @clumsy-owl-4178 @ladybug-182 @darkthunder1589 @evil-elf16 @dast218 @lysslovsanime @emilytopaz @naoryllis @iloontjeboontje @thepeacetea @danielslilangel @finallyaniguana @i-like-fairytail-and-stuff @vixen-uchiha @yuulxd @bleeding-heart-romantic @magic-inthe-stars @st0rmy-w1th1n

~---~

Jason woke up screaming to the sight of bright glowing green, only to snap back into the bedroom as Sabine burst in through the trapdoor. The petite woman ran up the stairs and collapsed beside him, throwing warm arms around his shoulders, tugging him down into the crook of her neck.

"Shh, shh honey, it's alright. It was just a dream, you're okay, I'm here."

He stiffened at first, only to melt into the embrace, meeting otherworldly blue eyes behind her. Tikki seemed to shake with concern, wanting to come to him, but unable to in the presence of his parental figure. 

Sabine pulled back a touch, stroking his head in gentle motions, meeting his eyes and guiding him through concentrated breaths until hia had evened out.

"Do you want to talk about it, sweetie?"

A wobbly smile broke on his lips at the sweet endearment as he shook his head and fell back into her embrace. He'd never adjust to being so thoroughly cared for and loved and supported, even if she didn't realize it was all directed at the wrong person. God, he hated lying to her. About where he was during akuma attacks. Why he stopped being friends with most of the class. Why in the year after her death, he had stepped down from most of Marinette's class responsibilities. About who he was and what he meant to her. He hated letting this wonderful, loyal, fierce woman think he was her daughter. 

Flashes of the toxic green flashed behind his closed eyes along with flowing red, reminding him why he woke in the first place.

Accepting the kiss on the cheek and reassuring Sabine that everything was okay, he waited until she disappeared down the steps and towards her own room, door firmly closed behind her before turning back towards Tikki.

"Are you okay, Jason?"

"Yeah… might be spending too much time with Plagg. Dreamt I was drowning in his eyes," he joked.

"That's awful, no wonder you were screaming," she tagged on, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Oh yeah, absolute nightmare."

"You're okay though."

"Yeah," he breathed out, turning over and feeling the kwami curl up on his hip and slowly fall back to sleep as he stared at the wall until morning.

…

Occasionally, someone worked up the nerve to ask him out. 

Whether because her physique appealed to them or his personality drew in a rather specific type. Usually, guys who thought they could tame him. Girls who wanted his aggression directed in passion. Saw her body and his anger and guilt displayed in a rather intimidating, distant contenance. Never one to start a fight, but quick to end one with a verbal lashing. Otherwise friendly when approached, but never the one approaching. Some thought him shy, others knew better and saw the fire within. All were turned away.

It made Jason sick to his stomach to think of dating these people with her body. To show affection and know he was using her body in that manner. And moreover, he couldn't stand the idea of ever being with someone who wasn't her. Sure, he knew many people dated around before meeting their soulmate or were only platonic with their other half and sought romance elsewhere, but none of them were in his position. None of them were living inside a dead other half's body, pretending to live their life. Surely if they were, they would feel the same. Not that he planned on sharing.

As it stood, he became a known heartbreaker at school.

…

He dreamt of flashing blades and splattered blood that night. He screamed himself awake once more. He wasn't sure why. It's not like he didn't risk his life everyday since he was ten. Something about the dreams got to him though.

…

Sometimes he forgot he wasn't her. This life he lived, this lie became his truth for just a moment.

Nothing epitomized this as much as the absolute defeat of Hawkmoth.

Jocular came up with the idea with the help of Fievel. The two came up with a strategy of using illusions and prodding mice to draw akumas further and further towards the outskirts of Paris, making stops along the way to toy with the angered victims until they did something reckless. Serval and Ladybug made sure to stay completely out of sight to ensure that Hawkmoth knew that his goal would not be reached with this line of action. Nimbus jumped in if the akuma came too close to any of the others to knock them off their feet and give the others a chance to create distance. If Hawkmoth's signature purple symbol glowed around their face, they knew they were still in range. Once the akuma seemed to go absolutely off the rails with no interference, they ended the battle quickly and marked the spot on a map of Paris. Once they made their first mark, they went slightly to the right of the previous fight, waiting to make the next mark and leading the following battle to the right of that until, like clockwork, they made a complete circle. 

With the circle complete, they took their map and drew a line from one point to the one directly across the map, until eventually they found the exact center.

The Agreste mansion. Oh, the irony.

The battle went surprisingly quick after that. They waited until they defeated an akuma close to the mansion, so that the Moth miraculous would need to recharge before it could activate again. Nathalie, who previously wielded the peacock, stayed out of the altercation, too sick to attempt anything. With Gabriel unable to transform yet and his assistant unable to fight back, they made quick work of apprehending the man, bringing the police into the atrium of butterflies and showing the underground garden that held his list wife. With a few threatened words whispered into his ear by Ladybug and Serval, Gabriel transformed in front of the police, allowing them to take pictures of everything as evidence of his actions. He also admitted his guilt into a tape recorder, to be used in court. Of course, they were all careful not to let any of the kwamis be seen by civilians throughout the arrest.

Finally, with the two adults arrested with their bodyguard and Adrien taken into custody for questioning, the heroes all disappeared into the dark night, the battle over and won.

They met back up in their headquarters, Fu's parlor. Luckily, throughout the years, the old master had never been found out, despite a handful of close calls. Mostly due to the group threatening the man back into hiding every time he considered getting involved. Still, the place became their haven. A place to relax and regroup without the fear of being overheard. That night, the group celebrated their victory, emotions haywire in a swirl of grief and anger and misery and elation and pure relief, letting everything flow out, the release long overdue.

Up until this point, the hunt of Hawkmoth over the last two months had kept Jason so busy that beyond the nightmares, he nearly forgot that they weren't celebrating with him, but with who they thought was Marinette. The constant use of false names and codes had helped further disillusion him. 

Now though, they hollered and sobbed and laughed together in their exuberance and they all congratulated him as their leader, as the one freed of the most responsibility, as the one who had battled from the beginning. He thanked them and rejoiced the end of an era. And then he went to her home.

He slipped in through the balcony and dropped into bed, the transformation sliding off as he went. That wasn't really his battle to win. His enemy to defeat. He knew that. She would've been happy to know that their team protected Paris. Broke it free from Gabriel's reign of terror. That they won. He wished she could've been there to see it. To take down her enemy herself. This was supposed to be her victory. He fell back into depression, knowing she'd never get to witness his defeat.

…

That night, he dreamt of shrouded figures. Of defending himself from multiple enemies. He dreamt of proud jade green eyes watching at a distance. 

…

It hurt so badly to let her dreams slip through his fingers. Muscle memory and basic knowledge from reading her old books on sewing led to an adequacy when mending old clothes, adding buttons, or customizing his own things to fit further to his style. This however, did not translate into her creativity and ability to take a concept and transform it into an original design.

At first, this raised suspicion and worry amongst their friends and family, but as time passed, they accepted that perhaps the inspiration had moved on. Jagged and Clara had shown their acceptance and support and told him if he ever got back into the game, to contact them first. Both protested and fought valiantly at first, but after a long conversation where he revealed that he simply couldn't bring himself to create the way he once had after losing his other half, the two had showered him in affection and backed off. The full truth was tragic, but the half truth was enough for them all.

The team had sensed the change since the beginning and upon finding his dwindling willingness to create, they thought perhaps moonlighting as ladybug drained it from him. Probably explained why he worked better with Plagg nowadays despite his attachment to Tikki. He allowed them to believe what they would as long as it meant not pushing him to design anymore.

He took to studying more, reading on any subjects that caught his attention at the moment, enjoying the freedom of no longer having a villain to fight. He kept up training with the team and her old martial arts classes. He also added in kickboxing for the hell of it. It became a wonderful outlet for his aggression without taking it out on his teammates.

Sometimes, on busy weekends or on breaks, he helped in the bakery. It was during one of these times that Tom brought him in to help develop a new flavor, that he found a love of creation again. Something about working side by side with Tom, discussing how different spices and fruits played off each other reminded him of early afternoons spent with Alfred. When tears sprung to his eyes at the thought of the older butler, Tom immediately drew him into a hug, asking what had made him cry. Jason gave a watery smile and simply said he had missed this.

After that, her parents started using him in the baking process more, allowing him to taste taste and make his own creations with their guidance. He was a decent baker, good enough to keep up with them and offer new takes on old classics, but they soon discovered that he truly came to life with cooking.

It was soon afterwards that he took over making dinner every night, releasing some of the pressure from Tom and Sabine to find time in the midst of shutting down the bakery. It also eased some of his guilt towards the two to have a way to pull his own weight within the family.

…

It had been about eight months since he first dreamt of toxic, luminescent green. It still visited him in his nightmares occasionally, engulfing him in horrific clarity. Sometimes he asked Plagg about it, only to be met with concerned, nervous eyes. Once he teased the little god about corrupting his soul, only to see a flash of fear quickly shroud itself in a huffy, put off demeanor. Plagg hissed at him and gave him the cold shoulder for three days after that. He never teased the kwami about the nightmares again.

Sometimes the dreams still held flashes of silver and red, dripping blood off steel, of shrouded aggressors. Of proud jade green, watching him at all times, assessing him, observing and glinting with a hidden glee.

It was a couple months after the two year anniversary of her death that something changed.

He dreamt of jade green eyes, staring up at him from a much lower height than the last set, coming closer, looking curious and guarded, yet hopeful.

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 14

I was not going to upload a chapter today because I was blocked, but I was about to go to bed when my dear brain decided to start working -smh-.

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Triggers: Smut, talking about depression, low self-steem, panic attacks, mentions of claustrophobia and COVID-19.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank  you   so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too  ☺️   (I   think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to  tag   you, tell me ☺️   ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo   constip8merm8   penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen  littlefreya  wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss  sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira   @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog   @lunedelorient​  @michelle-1185​

Btw, I started another fiction about Captain Syverson if you are interested. I’ve posted two chapters :

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

It felt like a dream. You had a tough time in the last couple of months - or years, to be more honest-. You went from being a girl with low self-esteem and lacking self-love to becoming confident with who you were and the back to the start, all because of a man that told you he loved you with his words but not with his actions. And there you were, in the arms of a new man who is just in a matter of weeks, turned your world completely upside down, in a great way. Once again you felt confident with your body and everything that made you... you.  He didn't need to say a single word to made you feel important and appreciated, you felt it with every single thing he did. How open an honest was with you. How he actually listen to you when you spoke and pay attention to every little detail. He cooked for you every meal. He pulled you tight to his body and put his arms around you in a protective way, making you feel safe. He woke you up with kisses on the neck and the back of your head. He wanted to be around you all the time, especially in his free time. If it wasn't for related things, he would be by your side every single minute of his day. You knew that the days he didn't have to work he'd like to play online games, but he would leave that aside to sit on the couch with you sitting on his lap, kissing until your lips hurt. You loved video games but weren't an expert on online and pc games, so you would sit by his side and asked him to explain the games to you and enjoyed watching him play those games because you knew how much he loved doing that, but he wanted to be with you too. So that became a ritual on the weekends mostly. After approximately two weeks after started dating officially, Henry came home from the set with the news that production has been shut down due to the COVID-19 and he needed to remain in quarantine because he had been in close contact with Kristofer Hivju - an actor famous for his role as Tormund on the show Game of Thrones, who was currently working with Henry on The Witcher- and he tested positive with the virus. Henry had been working with him for the last few days, so chances were that if he caught the virus, so did you because you've been staying on his house until you bought your own place. Of course, the Netflix people would not let the star of their biggest show at the moment risk his health, especially when one of the producers knew that you were there with him, so they send professional health care professional to run a test on both of you to make sure everything was clear. It took two days for them to let you know you were both fine, but since he had been in close contact with someone with the virus, you both needed to remain in quarantine. Like if that wasn't crazy enough, a few days later, most countries around the world were forced to declare quarantine and make people stay on their homes to avoid the dangerous virus from continuing spreading. It was a crazy time that the one you were living in, for sure, but you had him. No matter how shitty things got, he was there to make you feel better. You were usually fine with staying in a house and you weren't crazy about going out all the time, but at the same time, the quarantine arrived in a curious time on your life. The last months of the previous year, you spent them crying all day long, feeling a pain that you couldn't cure and you felt desperate. You felt lonely and unloved, but at the same time had no desire to go out or seeing the people who loved you and made you feel good. But now, you were getting in this new stage of your life in which you felt ready to live again. To go out, have fun, see your friends and all the sudden you weren't allowed to. It was hard, I'd be a lie to say another thing. You maintain calm and positive, though, at least most of the time. There were days in which you went in full panic, because you needed fresh air and being in the house make you feel claustrophobic, so he would prepare some snacks and make picnics on the garden; he would hug you and kiss your forehead, as you rest your head on his chest, letting the sunshine light hit your face and feel the oxygen that the free air provided. You would play with Kal, taking turns for him to chase you. He admitted to you that he knew that it was selfish and inconsiderate, but a little part of him was enjoying quarantine. He didn't like all the bad things that caused, but he was enjoying having free time to spend with you, chatting, playing and making love. That's another thing that you two enjoyed a lot during this time. You made love every single night for hours. A lot of the times even in the morning. Most nights, you would put on different lingerie. Other times, you would be completely naked because he'd like to feel the collision of your body with yours and feel your soft skin touch his. And even though the bras would make your breasts look glorious, he wanted to touch them, put them on his mouth and feel them against his chest. That was the case that night. He was sitting on the bed with his legs spread and you were on top on him, facing him, with your legs crossed on his back. He was inside you, moving his thick hard member, making you feel things that you never thought were possible. He was kissing your neck and made his way to your mouth, kissing your throat and chin in the process. When he finally reached your lips, he started to kiss you with burning passion as his hands, that previously were delicately placed on your back and waist, now were applying force, no to hurt you, but to pull you tight against him, making you his prisoner for a moment, as your tongues danced together and your lips collided ferociously. After the long and desperate kiss, you put both of your hands around his neck and pressed your chin on his shoulder, moaning on his ear as he thrust you, again and again. Without even taking his cock from inside of you, as you were grabbed to him like a koala bear, he lifted you with one arm, putting you on your back against the mattress and he continued penetrating you, harder and harder. While kissing, you would moan on his mouth and that sent him over the moon, making him go even faster and deeper, as he wanted more and more of your beautiful noises and gestures. You were his queen and he wanted to make you happy, so anything that he could feel and see that made you feel good, he would make you get it and that it'd be better every single time. He also made noises, as usual. Of the two of you, he was the noisy one. And you could swear that was one of your favourite things in the world. He couldn't resist any longer after seeing you reach climax. How your beautiful lips made a circle as you moan as you had an orgasm, made him released. He rested his back on the mattress, made you lay on top of him, so he could hug you and kiss you. After a little bit, you change positions, resting your head on his chest as you fell deeply asleep while him stroke your hair in the sweetest way.

[sibidikkokarca]

Nameless and Friendless. “The rich man’s wealth is his strong city, etc.” - Proverbs, x, 15, Emily Mary Osborn

“Emily Mary Osborn was one of the most important artists associated with the campaign for women’s rights in the nineteenth century. The daughter of a clergyman, she was brought up in Kent and Essex until 1842 when the family moved back to London. It was here that she trained as an artist at Dickinson’s academy in Maddox Street and then at Leigh’s in Newman Street. During the 1850s Osborn established a reputation as a genre painter specialising in figurative subjects of ‘unpretending character’ – the most significant of which were pictures of modern women in pathetic situations, similar to works by Richard Redgrave and Rebecca Solomon. Home Thoughts, which was painted in 1856 and exhibited at the Royal Academy that same year, was followed by her most famous work Nameless and Friendless in 1857. A full-scale, squared-up preparatory design for the latter exists in the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford and a smaller version in oil in York Art Gallery.Nameless and Friendless focuses on the predicament of the single woman in the modern metropolis by offering a female version of the traditional ‘Choice of Hercules’ theme. The picture shows an orphaned female artist (as suggested by her black dress), accompanied by a boy, presumably her brother, diffidently offering one of her paintings to a dealer whose disdainful expression suggests rejection. An assistant looks down cursorily at her canvas from his position on a ladder, while the woman is eyed up from behind by two rakish men otherwise engaged in examining a hand-coloured print of a ballerina – the bare legs of whom suggest other choices facing the impoverished and desperate young woman. Isolated in the centre of the composition between leering and contemptuous glances, the woman’s vulnerability is accentuated by her downward gaze and fingers nervously pulling a hoop of string. The mud-splattered crepe of her skirt, her dripping umbrella and protective cape hint at the distance she has travelled and the conditions she has endured to brave the encounter.The title of the painting and the quotation from Proverbs that accompanied the work when it was first shown at the Royal Academy in 1857 accentuate the idea of the city as a man’s domain within which women occupy a precarious position. In alighting on the subject the artist may have been influenced by a passage in Mary Brunton’s novel Self-Control of 1811 which was reprinted twice during the 1850s. Determined to improve the family’s finances, Laura, the heroine of the novel, decides to sell her pictures but successive visits to London dealers all end in failure. Whatever its source, the picture clearly addresses what art historian Deborah Cherry has defined as ‘the sexualised encounters and economies of the modern city, its spaces of pleasure, exchange and consumption’ (Cherry 2000, p.28). By including in close proximity three different models of femininity – the ballet dancer, the comfortable bourgeois matron confidently leaving the shop with her son, and the respectable but indigent protagonist in the foreground – the artist highlights three distinct ways in which women of all classes inhabit the urban realm: as figures of sexual desire and consumption, as ‘invisible’ wives secure in a family unit, and as unmarried women struggling to earn a living.Nameless and Friendless was almost certainly conceived as a political statement, Osborn being closely associated with the feminist and artist Barbara Bodichon’s Langham Place circle and their campaign for women’s rights. She was also a member of the Society of Female Artists established in 1857 (the year the picture was first exhibited) to help overcome the difficulties experienced by female artists in exhibiting and selling their work. In 1859 Osborn was one of the signatories of the women’s petition to the Royal Academy of Arts to open its schools to female students, and in 1889 to the Declaration in Favour of Woman’s Suffrage. In 1885 Osborn’s large portrait of Bodichon was presented to Girton, the first Cambridge residential college to admit women.Despite the artist’s feminist sympathies, it would be misleading to equate her own career as a single female artist with the predicament of the woman in the picture. As a student Osborn had been encouraged by her family and was later able to finance her own studio through the sale of a group portrait. She had the support of wealthy female patrons including Queen Victoria who purchased Osborn’s My Cottage Door and The Governess. Nameless and Friendless sold for the substantial sum of £250 to Lady Chetwynd, following whose death it was lent by her husband to the 1862 International Exhibition in London. That year it was reproduced as a wood engraving by Edward Skill and published as a full-page print in the Illustrated London News. Another engraving of the work by J. Cooper was published in the Art Journal in 1864 where it accompanied a feature on the artist by James Dafforne (see Dafforne 1864, pp.261–3). Osborn went on to enjoy a long and successful career, her last recorded exhibit being in 1905.“

https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/osborn-nameless-and-friendless-the-rich-mans-wealth-is-his-strong-city-etc-proverbs-x-15-t12936

[sincerelymarinette]

A Recorded Life (49/50) - Miraculous Ladybug

Words: 2268 Chapter Summary: The moment everyone's been waiting for. Author's Note: I think this is one of the longest chapters of the story and I'm gonna cry. This is basically the last ~real~ chapter because I'm treating 50 as an epilogue. I love this story and I hope you do too!

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Battle

---

Adrien walked through the forest with Plagg flying nearby. He followed the directions Alya left on the table, a little scared of what he might find along the way.

As he walked towards the house, Adrien fiddled with his ring as he got closer, playing through what he was going to say in his head. He kept taking deep breaths as he took a step or heard a strange noise.

Finally, he approached the house. After knocking three times, Adrien was met with his father as Hawkmoth, looking down at him with a smile.

"What are you doing, Adrien?" Hawkmoth asked as he readied his staff.

Adrien tried to bring up his confidence. "I'm sorry I went against you, father," Adrien said. "I want to prove my loyalty to help you," He said.

Hawkmoth looked back at Nathalie, a little confused, but glad. "You know what I'm after."

"Right," Adrien said and pulled off his ring. "Sorry, Plagg," He apologized before he was sucked back into the ring. "I just want my friends to be safe."

Hawkmoth's smile grew sinister as he held the ring in his hand. "They will be; If they follow you. Everyone will be safe then," He promised.

Adrien nodded quickly. "Okay, I can help with that."

Hawkmoth welcomed Adrien into the secret home and gave him a place to sit in the main room. "I'm glad you came to me, Adrien," Hawkmoth said and began prepping things with Nathalie that Adrien didn't understand.

Instead of replying to his father, Adrien pulled out his phone and dialed Marinette's number.

"Adrien!" Marinette shrieked. "Where are you? We've been looking for you all morning!" She said.

"I'm at Hawkmoth's hideout. I went out for a walk, and he caught me and took my Miraculous. Marinette, I need you," He pleaded, and it was clear that Hawkmoth was satisfied with Adrien's cry.

"Oh...my gosh," Marinette sighed. "We'll be there as fast as we can, hang on, Adrien," She promised and hung up.

Adrien looked down at his phone after the call ended. "Perfect," Hawkmoth smirked. "Now, we just have to wait."

A few minutes passed as Adrien sat and fiddled with his thumbs while waiting for his friends. He. was nervous, nervous that they would be disappointed, but also nervous that Hawkmoth would hurt them. It seemed like hours passed while waiting for the heroes to show up, but it was only a matter of minutes.

The three jumped as Ladybug kicked down the door with Rena Rouge, Carapace, and Queen Bee behind her. "Adrien!" She said and ran over to him. Just before she could get to him, Hawkmoth put his staff in between them, blocking Adrien from her. "Adrien, what's going on?" She asked.

"I'm sorry, Mari," Adrien sighed and showed his hand.

"Adrien, what did you-"

"He's with me now," Hawkmoth interrupted. "And if we don't want anyone to get hurt, I suggest you all do the sensible thing like Adrien," Hawkmoth advised.

Ladybug shook her head and stepped back, not believing what was happening. "No, never!" She shouted and grabbed her yo-yo. "I will not give up!" She shouted. Adrien remained in his chair, worried about what could happen, while the rest of the team stood strong, ready to face Hawkmoth.

As Ladybug began spinning her yo-yo, the rest of her team backed down so she could try to get through to Hawkmoth. "Gabriel," She said. "Do you really want to do this? We can just stop here and go on with our lives," She tried her hardest to talk to him.

"Oh, sure, I'll stop if you hand over your Miraculous," He said. "But I assume you won't do that, so we have to do this the hard way," He sighed.

Ladybug shook her head in disappointment. "Guess so," She said. The four heroes immediately pushed forward at Hawkmoth, not backing down.

Ladybug and Chat Noir had only faced Hawkmoth a few times before, but this was completely different. Hawkmoth hit his staff a few times and knocked back Rena Rogue, Carapace, and Queen Bee. The staff's power was so strong it sent the three flying to the floor, and it was clear that Hawkmoth only wanted to deal with Ladybug.

Ladybug dodged the hits and power from the staff until she started to run out of energy. Hawkmoth was not holding back, just like she expected, but she kept defending as much as possible.

After defending the hits Hawkmoth threw at her, she was running out of steam. Ladybug hadn't used the Lucky Charm yet, but she could feel Tikki was getting tired along with Marinette.

With one last blow, Ladybug fell to the ground. She breathed heavily as Hawkmoth walked closer to her.

"Well," He started. "It seems we have come to an impasse," Hawkmoth said. "Your only choice is to give me your Miraculous," He said and held out his hand, waiting for Ladybug to do as he says.

Ladybug nodded. "Yes, that does seem like the only choice," She stood up. "But it's not," Ladybug said, and Hawkmoth's face immediately dropped with confusion. "Tikki, Duusu, unify!"  Ladybug shouted, and with a red and blue flash, Ladybug transformed into Lady Peacock.

"W-what?" Hawkmoth stepped back. "That Miraculous was broken!"

"And we got it fixed," Lady Peacock shrugged while holding her yo-yo and reaching her hand over her shoulder while waiting for her team.

Hawkmoth calmed down and stood tall, not entirely sure what their plan was. He turned around to give them some distance while preparing to take down a bunch of naive teenagers who didn't understand what he was working towards.

Rena Rouge, Carapace, and Queen Bee got up and stood behind Lady Peacock. Out of the corner of his eye, Hawkmoth saw Adrien stand up from the chair. "Plagg!"

"Ah ah ah," Hawkmoth said. "Did you forget, Adrien? You already gave me your Miraculous," Hawkmoth smirked.

Adrien looked down and shook his head. "Look again, father," Adrien directed. Hawkmoth pulled the ring out of his pocket and heard the noise of a flute, and the ring in his hand disappeared. Adrien held up his hand, showing that his Miraculous never left his finger; it was all a mirage.

"Plagg! Claws out!" Adrien shouted and turned into Chat Noir, joining his team on the other side of the room. The plan had worked perfectly, and they were able to take Hawkmoth by surprise.

Lady Peacock stood in front, with Chat Noir and Queen Bee behind her, and Rena Rouge and Carapace behind them. They were stood in a V formation, making sure to let Hawkmoth knew they weren't here to play.

Hawkmoth was surprised at the mirage, but it also meant that Rena Rouge was weaker and would have to recharge soon. He shot his staff at her once to encourage her to get out of his way. He figured drawing out Carapace's and Queen Bee's special powers early on would make the fight against Ladybug- or Lady Peacock, and Chat Noir much easier. Hawkmoth sent one warning shot over to where Rena Rouge retreated to, causing Carapce to use his shell-ter to protect her while she recharged.

Queen Bee held up her spinning top, ready to sting Hawkmoth. "Miss Bourgeois, I wouldn't take another step if I were you," Hawkmoth warned, and Lady Peacock motioned that it was okay for her to back down. "You all have no idea how much I have been holding back. Quit now, and it will be much easier for everyone," He said.

Lady Peacock shook her head. "And you have no idea how much we've been holding back," She said and pulled a feather off her shoulder, blowing onto it to make it turn blue, then letting it fly out the door.

Hawkmoth knew what the peacock did, but he didn't have much hope for Marinette Dupain-Cheng to use it to their strongest advantage. Sure, she's strong as Ladybug, but can she really handle two Miraculouses at once?

Hawkmoth scoffed at her. "You're a child, I don't want to hurt you, but I will get everyone's Miraculous!" He shouted.

Lady Peacock, Chat Noir, and Queen Bee didn't think twice about what he said. They looked to each other, and all darted towards him. They followed Hawkmoth out the back of the house and into the woods, a much larger area for a fight that could end badly.

The amock flew through the air of the forest back into civilization. It flew over the Agreste Mansion, the school, and the bakery. It passed the Eiffel Tower and over baby's heads, but it had a set location.

It flew into the open window of Master Fu's shop and landed on a piece of rock next to where he hid the Miracle Box. Master Fu knew exactly what was going to happen, and was proud of the team for their plan working, as he was a little skeptical at first. He waited for the amock to transform the rock, and it burst through the roof fo his shop- but he wasn't worried; Ladybug would fix it later.

"Haven't changed a bit," Master Fu remarked to the amock that resembled the first Akuma that Ladybug and Chat Noir fought. "You will return to Lady Peacock and aid her in battle. Go now," Master Fu commanded, and the Stoneheart amock made his way to the forest.

Lady Peacock, Chat Noir, and Queen Bee were in battle with Hawkmoth. Everything thrown at him, he threw back with the staff, and he had no issues. Carapace and Rena Rouge were still recharging, but the rest of the team was holding their own.

Out of nowhere, the ground shook, distracting both sides. The amock of Stoneheart jumped in front of Lady Peacock, but facing Hawkmoth. "What is this?" He grumbled.

"I'm sure you remember Stoneheart, yes? The first Akuma we ever took on and beat, well, this stone is just like him. But he is here to help us this time," Lady Peacock said. "It's all coming full circle," She said.

Hawkmoth didn't respond, but instead only aimed for Stoneheart, who wasn't reacting one bit from the hits. Stoneheart was just enough of a distraction that Lady Peacock could call for her Lucky Charm without having to worry, and also enough that Rena Rouge and Carapace could make it back to the battle.

"What's your Lucky Charm?" Chat Noir asked.

Ladybug sighed. "It's a jewelry box," She said. "We have to get his Miraculous. Let's go!"

The five of them ran around Stoneheart and used all the energy they could towards Hawkmoth. He tried to use his staff to fend them off, but it was getting more apparent that he was running out of steam. The heroes have grown up since their first fight, and have become much stronger. Stronger than Hawkmoth would have ever assumed.

Rena Rouge used her mirage to make duplicates of them, so Hawkmoth wouldn't know which way they were coming from. Hawkmoth shot where most of the duplicates were rounded up, and Carapace used his shell-ter to protect himself and Queen Bee. Hawkmoth was able to use the trees Stoneheart was throwing to his advantage and made a hideout, which left Chat Noir to cataclysm the trees around him.

Hawkmoth was running out of ideas, and he was cornered. The duplicates were confusing him, and Stoneheart was getting more dangerous. Hawkmoth was not going to give up, though, he was going to get the Miraculous.

Just as Hawkmoth was about to speak, he opened his mouth, and instead of words, a scream came out, and he fell to the ground. Hawkmoth was hit with Queen Bee's venom in the back, then kicked down by Lady Peacock. Hawkmoth was stuck up against a few trees that were thrown earlier. All of the heroes besides Chat Noir stepped back, while Chat Noir walked up to Hawkmoth straight on.

Chat Noir reached for Hawkmoth's Miraculous, but before he could grab it, Hawkmoth spoke. "Adrien!" He said as loud as he could. Granted, it wasn't very loud from the venom he just took, but it did catch Chat Noir's attention. "If you do this, your mother will be gone forever."

With a sigh, Chat Noir stepped back. "She was supposed to be gone, resting peacefully, years ago. You kept her from that peace," He said.

"Don't you want her back?" Hawkmoth said, stalling as much time as he could.

“Of course I do, but not like this. If you use our miraculous to get her back, I will be the one to die," Chat Noir said, and Hawkmoth's eyes widened, like he hadn't thought of that. "As much as I would love to trade my life for hers, it’s not natural, and she’s probably in more pain in that secret basement. It’s been years father; we have to move on.”

Hawkmoth tried to shake his head, but Chat Noir resumed reaching for the Miraculous. "Adrien-"

Chat Noir grabbed the Miraculous on Hawkmoth's chest. "This is for mom," He said and ripped the brooch off, and with a flash of purple, Hawkmoth turned back into Gabriel Agreste.

Lady Peacock walked up from behind him and opened the jewelry box, and Chat Noir set Hawkmoth's brooch in it. It would be in there until they could get it back to the Miracle Box, and everything could return to normal. Lady Peacock left Stoneheart to guard Gabriel as they saw red and blue lights in the distance.

"Let's get out of here," Chat Noir said and led the team out.

---

@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10 @coccinellegirl @kat-thatoneweirdo @strawberryblondish @snow-swordswoman @lilgaga98 @evufries  @toodaloo-kangaroo 

[travllingbunny]

The 100: 7x03 False Gods

Although I liked this episode less than the first two episodes of season 7, which were great, especially 7x02. I quite enjoyed False Gods for what it was. This seems to be an unpopular opinion in the fandom, which mostly hated it for what it wasn’t. And I get it - Bellamy has been missing for almost 3 episodes (even though it’s not even been 2 days since he left Sanctum), Clarke took a back seat here, and the new SciFi Anomaly storyline is far more interesting than the power struggles in Sanctum. Plus the A plot of this episode was problem-of-the-week, another potential nuclear meltdown - of a reactor we didn’t even know about before. 

it feels like a setup/breather before we get to the real story. Yes, it's high time the storylines finally converge and Clarke and the others learn that Bellamy and others are missing, and get involved in the Anomaly plot. I guess I’m more patient than most, and it helped that I already knew this would only happen in the next episode.The biggest problem of this episode is probably that it didn’t address what was happening in the other storyline, for the benefit of all the viewers who are watching this weekly, don’t necessarily think about the show’s timeline and aren’t aware of the fact that it’s been a little over one day since Bellamy, Octavia, Echo and Gabriel went to research the Anomaly Stone, that there’s absolutely nothing surprising about the fact they haven’t come back yet (people were absent for similar periods of time in season 6 even when they went to a less distant location), that there is no reason whatsoever for Clarke and others to think that there are any other threats on the moon or any other humans outside Sanctum, and that there are no radio signals or mobile phones they could use to call them before they get back. And that, if she doesn’t have reasons to think Bellamy is in danger, it’s not OOC at all for Clarke to not be whining about the fact that he left with his girlfriend, his sister and Gabriel to do research instead of stay and help her as a co-leader in Sanctum, while she is also grieving her mom... Actually, you know what, I do have a problem with people criticizing Clarke for that. But I do see why a mention would help the viewers get a sense of coherence, that both this and the previous episode belong to the same story.

But at the same time, this episode delivered some of the things many fans have been saying they wanted to see: it was focused on the characters who have been there from season 1, Raven and Murphy (and Emori, who has been there since season 2 and has had the most long-lasting relationship in the show), it gave Raven an arc and character development and put her in the situation to make “impossible choices” and understand how Clarke has felt so many times (something that many were asking for after her season 6 characterization), it, put an end to Madi being a Commander, and let Clarke grieve for the loss of her mother for another episode.

Raven's storyline was still really engaging and the scenes in the reactor intense. And damn it, I liked Hatch, even though he was in just two episodes and a few scenes. He stole the show and made me really sad when I realized he was definitely doomed. I knew from the trailer that Nikki would beat the crap out of Raven, but I didn't know why. A lot of people thought Nikki would just be a straight-up villain like McCreary, but instead, she's given a good reason to feel the way she does. And it was high time the show addressed the fact that the Eligius prisoners are looked down on as second class people or barely people. Sure, they are murderers and thieves and not nice people, but that doesn’t make it OK to see them as barely human, as Eligius Corporation did when they were going to leave them to die as expendable.

This is probably leading to the friendship between Raven and Clarke getting stronger again. Other things this episode seemed to be setting up: 

future conflicts in Sanctum: SheidhedaRussell (SheidRussell? RussellHeda?) getting more control, while Clarke and others have no idea about who he really is, while the Eligius prisoners are going to be led by a very angry Nikki;

Clarke has a continuation of her story from 7x01 and gets a kind of closure to her grief over her mother. She gets to say that she cannot lose anyone else, a very obvious setup for learning about Bellamy’s  (and others’) disappearance. At first, this made me roll my eyes a little bit - it’s not like this is a new motivation for Clarke. She is always trying to save her people, and anyone who isn’t aware how important Bellamy is to her, has not been paying attention. But then it struck me - the show was doing extra work to set up Clarke being ready to leave Madi in Sanctum without looking like a ‘bad mother’  - and for that purpose, she now 1) knows Madi is not a Heda anymore and can breathe a sign of relief that Madi can be a normal kid now, 2) has no idea about Sheidheda, and 3) has started to trust Gaia enough as someone who could take care of Madi.

This time it’s Luisa's voice saying "Previously". It looks like they're having a different cast member say it at the start of each episode (Eliza in 7x01, Marie in 7x02).

James wasn’t losing any time, did he. It’s been just a little over a day since they came from the ship, and he’s already hooking up with a girl from Sanctum. And the show really did the horror trope of a couple that goes to a secluded place to hook up and dies. 

There is a nuclear reactor in Sanctum? We go to another planet moon, and again the same problems, just as Indra said.

The opening titles ended with a new shot of the mansion and the grave next to it - this is presumably what Abby’s grave will look in the future. At the moment, it’s a heap of rocks with flowers over them. (Maybe it's meant to be Kane's, too - they don't have either of their bodies, though Abby did die on Sanctum and they could at least bury her clothes.) Contrary to what many fans thought, Clarke burying Jake’s ring was not Abby’s “funeral” - the funeral had already been held, so the answer to the often asked question “why weren’t Madi, Raven, Jackson, Murphy etc. there", is - they were, when the funeral was held. Clarke just went later, alone, to bury the ring, the remembrance of both her parents. With the grave being so close to the mansion, Gaia saw Clarke coming to bury the ring and then came to talk and bury the Flame. 

It’s good that Clarke has another confidante/budding friendship, someone to talk to in her increasingly small circle. But I’m not sure that Clarke and Gaia managed to connect that much over grief - because losing a parent and losing your religion are very different kinds of loss. Clarke doesn’t even have a religion and doesn’t have that kind of experience.

I love the way the show acknowledged that everyone knows Clarke will always be the first one to risk her life to save everyone - and Murphy knows it. But the plot mechanics ket Clarke away from this storyline (because Murphy and Emori had have it) - Indra said Calrke had her hands full with Russell’s execution, even though it wasn’t clear why she’d have to be the one to organize it (especially since Indra herself seems to be capable of dealing with the politics) and Clarke didn’t look too busy the rest of the episode.

I’m glad we’re done with the plot of Madi being Heda or having to pretend to be Heda. Although I’m sure this will haunt her still, because she has memories of other Commanders - including Becca and Sheidheda, and she may find it the easiest to recognize SH, because she knows him better than anyone.  

I completely understand why Clarke wasn’t going to let Madi order Wonkru members to perform such a dangerous task - she doesn’t want to let Madi feel responsible for sending people to their deaths, feel the same guilt she did, but at an even younger age.

Gaia telling the truth both was and wasn’t the right thing to do - morally right, but with potentially terrible consequences, if no welders had been found. Here’s a song for her by one of my favorite bands. On the other hand, Raven lied to people in the name of necessity and the greater good of them all, and achieved her goal but ended up sending people to their deaths, and felt the consequences of lying.

One revelation I really liked is that the guy from Sangedakru thinks of the infamous Dark Commander as “Sangedakru’s greatest champion”. That feels a lot more realistic than the idea that all Grounders hate him and think of him as a monster - even though their culture is based on war and killing, and we’ve seen other Grounder leaders (Queen Nia) be just as ruthless. Sheidheda being from another clan helps makes sense of Indra’s story from 6x13 of the time SH “took Trikru” and was going from village to village and killing everyone who refused to kneel. I’ve been wondering for a long time what exactly Heda were commanding before Lexa united the clans. I suppose they were trying to command, but clans were still divided and preferred Hedas from their own. And it seems that Sheidheda was also trying to ‘unite’ the clans, but not by negotiations! Of course he is considered a monster by people from all the other clans, whom he was killing and torturing and trying to conquer, but is still remembered as a hero by his own clan. Of course. That’s how it usually goes.

Small moments of Sheidheda enjoying the fact he’s corporeal again - from touching his own arms to eating a cookie - are a nice touch.

I like the fact that Sheidheda is smart and much sneakier than the pompous Russell was. He had to be smart to be able to manipulate the AI in the way no other Commander could, not even Becca, its creator, ti isolate the other Commanders, get control of Madi, and later download himself to Russell’s mind drive. SH was also using the captivity to read some of the books he’s found and apparently gain some technical knowledge about Sanctum,

Delilah’s parents are finally back. I don’t think we had seen them since they killed Priya. And Trey (the annoying  “adjustor” who was brainwashing Jordan) can go f(ck himself. Really? Blaming Delilah’s parents for avenging her death?

I’m still unsure where exactly the show is going with Jordan. His brainwashing will have to be addressed at some point. It may not have been fully successful - he doesn’t think of the Primes as gods - but it was sure enough for him to stop despising them as murderers and to start believing their BS (and even to form some sort of attachment to Priya). If he weren’t brainwashed, he’d be spending time with Delilah’s grieving parents, rather than the people who worship her murderers. Right now, the show is playing it ambiguously, so some people may even forget about brainwashing and just see Jordan as a gullible naive guy (which he is, of course, he grew up just interacting with his parents) or as Jordan sees himself, as a moral compass/substitute for his father. Someone should tell him that Monty was never naive and knew when it was necessary to fight and kill, even though he hated it and tried to avoid it. Maybe realizing that he’s been manipulated by the Devout and by SH will be a wake-up call. 

Jackson has had more character focus in S7 than he had for seasons - the mild doctor now wants revenge for his mentor-mother figure. Good to see more focus on his and Miller’s relationship, including their arguments. What Jackson said about Miller seems to have hurt Miller, who’s still feeling guilty for his role in the Blodreina regime. Maybe this Mackson disagreement contributes to Miller deciding to leave, to prove something to himself, and save Bellamy this time, since he didn’t do it in season 5.

Memori continue to be adorable. and we learn that Raven having no respect for her friends’ privacy is a recurring thing. Another snippet about the life on the Ring.

There was one line that didn’t make sense to me. Raven to Murphy: “Go do your job, be Emori’s moral anchor”. What?! Isn’t it usually the exact opposite? 

Speaking of couples - Hatch called Nikki “Honey bunny”. That has to be a Pulp Fiction reference. Raven got the job done here, but I feel like Hatch’s death will have dire consequences for the possibility of peace in Sanctum. Both because he was the more optimistic and tolerant one, willing to expect good and to try to work to earn respect, and because Nikki is now going to be even angrier and more extreme. And just like we had different views about Sheidheda among the Grounders, here we see different views among prisoners about McCreary - Hatch calls him a jackass he won’t miss, but Nikki thinks he would have fought for the rights and better treatment of the prisoners. (I wonder what any of them have been told about Diyoza.)

“Welcome to the world of grey”

A few more words about Raven’s storyline -

One thing that bothers me about this storyline is the idea that this is the first time Raven is in the "world of grey". I guess the writing staff Murphy doesn't remember that time when she tried to give him to the Grounders to be tortured and killed in Finn's place for a crime Finn committed. She also tried to get Clarke to kill Lexa and start a war over Finn in that same episode, basically to sacrifice a bunch of people for him. There was also that time when she tortured Lincoln with electric shocks to save Finn. Or that time when she was withholding medicine from the dying people, including a dying child, because of rationing. Or the time when she was ready to turn the plug on 283 prisoners in cryo sleep. Or when she gave Echo an OK to kill Shaw, her ally, in season 5.

But all this got forgotten because she's never before had to deal with the consequences of her actions. Lincoln didn't die, the others stopped her from turning over Murphy and Finn gave himself up, Clarke opted to mercy kill Finn and do what's best for everyone instead, Murphy stole the meds and gave them to Abby so the child was given the medicine but died anyway, they didn't have to - and then couldn't - kill the prisoners in their sleep, Echo did not kill Shaw... 

There were also plenty of times when Raven gave others the responsibility - like when she decided Clarke needed to make the list of 100 people who'll get to survive Praimfaya in the Arkadia as shelter (while passively aggressively bashing her at the same time, which was weird: "I'm in charge of rationing, but deciding who lives or dies is your specialty"), and then Clarke got blamed for it.U

Now, the writers (going by Jason's recent interview where he said that Raven had never done anything morally wrong in the first 6 seasons) seem to have forgotten about it - which I guess is why they wrote her as a self-righteous moralizer in season 6 - unintentionally making her really hypocritical. Which I hated, because she used to be one of my favorite characters, but became quite hard to like in season 6. 

The way I see it, it’s best to ignore ridiculous BTS statements of the writers when those statements don’t match canon. I’m all for “Death of the Author” in that case, at least. If we just ignore it, Raven’t entire arc starts making more sense. Maybe they had some weird idea that they were writing her as the moral compass of the show in season 6 (but people who have acted as a moral compass usually don’t say things like “I’ve never done anything wrong in my life!” and refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes), but I’ve always interpreted Raven’s behavior in S6 as lashing out - she was hurting and lashing out, because she had been betrayed by her substitute mom Abby in the same way and for the same reasons as her real mom; she also felt betrayed by Clarke; and then she lost Shaw, the one person who would have put her first, so she felt she had no one left who would. (Though she did get better later in the season, making up with Abby, acting less judgmental and making up with Clarke. )

This is either the show course-correcting her earlier characterization, or fixing a long-standing flaw - Raven’s tendency to be harsh and judgmental to others, which had already been there before season 6. This was seen in this episode, too, from some of her disparaging comments to Murphy, to her contempt for the Eligius prisoners (not that this isn’t understandable, with the fact that she had been tortured by McCreary’s men).

So this feels like an important step in Raven starting to face the world of grey she often tried to see as black and white, and for once be in a situation where she has, almost directly, caused people’s deaths, by decisions she made on her own. 

(The show also seems to be course-correcting a few other things about Raven: she looks more like her old self, she has gotten back some of her snark, and the show is showing her disability more - after having largely ignored it for the last couple of seasons.) 

To be fair to Raven, she did not know from the start that she was sending Hatch and others to their deaths. She had assumed at first that the task would be dangerous, but not lethal. When she realized it was, the men were already irradiated, and it was necessary to fix the reactor so it would not kill everyone. The bigger problem was that Raven had lied - because she did not respect these people enough to give them an opportunity to maybe volunteer while knowing what the danger was. I think that Hatch, at least, still would have. He did prove smarter than she thought but realizing what was going on, while she was still lying to them that they weren’t going to die in minutes, and, contrary to what she had assumed - he did still want to fix the reactor, in spite of knowing he’d die, to save someone he loved. Raven also showed a similar disrespect towards Murphy - locking him inside to get the job done. It feels like this is something that has never been fully resolved between them - the fact that Murphy was a POS in season 1 and crippled Raven, but also, that she was fully prepared to give him to the Grounders to be tortured and killed in Finn’s place. I feel like this is going to make her start thinking differently and maybe give people the benefit of a doubt.

I knew Nikki was going to beat the crap out of Raven from the trailer, but I didn’t know what her reasons would be. It felt like Raven herself almost wanted this as punishment, because she felt guilty, and would rather take a beating than comfort (”Don’t touch me!”) And I’m sure Raven can understand how Nikki feels, since she has lost Shaw so recently, and Finn before. 

I liked Hatch’s conversation with Murphy and the parallels Murphy could see there - Hatch and Nikki were another Bonnie and Clyde-style thief or rather robber duo.... except it went too far and they became murderers. Which Memori were not... but Murphy was a murderer even in season 1. In season 6, Murphy died and thought he had gone to hell for his sins, so it must have resonated with him when Hatch replied that, no, he wasn’t looking for redemption, because “There is no making up for it”.

Body count: James (RIP to yet another Arker from Wonkru, though we first met him in 6x02), his Sanctum girlfriend, and 4 Eligius prisoners including Hatch (which means that 32 remain).

Rating: 7/10

[herondaleholly31]

“Watch it Fred.” Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor X Reader

Side note:It should be illegal to look that good I’m SORRY 

Overview: You go to A party at Freddie Mercury’s house with your boyfriend Roger, and things gets heated in more ways than one. 

AN: Iya lovesss! I wanted to write an imagine based of this scene in BR as it was one of my favorites, although that might have been because Ben Hardy being protective is everything I needed in my life. I hope you guys enjoy!

Like and Reblog! 

Word count;1400(ish) 

It was a party like you’d never seen before. The  house, normally so clean and empty except for Cats and Freddie’s piano, was  now full of exotically dressed people that you’d never seen before. Women  with sparkles adorned on their bare chests and heads, men wearing brightly  colored top hats and Stage makeup, their eyes popping with excitement. The place was already a mess of streamers, empty glasses and spillages of colors that made you instinctively avoid them. As you walked in, a waiter offered  you a drink. It tasted strong and expensive, but you downed it not wanting to  seem rude. The sound was so dense against your ears you didn’t hear anyone  talking to you until someone spoke low in your ear “fancy exploring?”

 Roger Taylor’s White jacket and shoulder length  blonde hair seemed to shine in the low lighting of the hundreds of fairy  lights. His blue irises had darkened with attraction as he pulled you close.  His cologne was intoxicating and gorgeous; it made you weak at the knees.  You leaned into him, playing with his collar “and why would we do  that?” 

 “So, we could finish what we started earlier,”  His voice graveled slightly as he lent down and brushed his lips over the  soft spot on your neck where the hickey he left earlier was covered by  makeup. A chill of euphoria shot over your skin. He smiled knowingly. For a  moment the pair of you forgot that you were stood in the lobby filled with  hundreds of people, all of whom recognized the drummer. His finger pads  stroked down your back as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You  desperately wanted the pair of you to go into a dark corner so you could  explore each other, and judging by Rogers heightened breathing he was  thinking the same. 

“Roger you’ve been here for five minutes, can you  PLEASE refrain from ripping Y/N clothes off until we say Hi to  Freddie?” 

Brian, Deaky and their wives were all watching  with varying expressions of embarrassment, humor and annoyance. You laughed;  Roger uttered a whine of frustration. 

“C’mon” you untangled yourself and held out your  hand “let’s go find Freddie.”

“But- “

“We’ll finish this later.” 

“You promise?” Roger smiled. 

You winked “I promise.” Biting his lip Roger took  your hand and followed you. Your group of six squeezed through the swelling  crowd as you went from room to room. You were followed by yells of  recognition, screams of excitement and calls of devotion to the band mates of  Queen. A lot of girls particularly screamed for Roger. As always, he was  polite and laughed off their drunken advances, but when he could he would  smile at you reassuringly and never he never let go of your hand. 

 Eventually you reached what Freddie liked to call  his “entertainment room” where beautifully stitched sofas and marble  counter-topped coffee tables huddled around in a circle in the center of the  room. These were covered with haphazard trays of finger foods and abandoned  half drank glasses of champagne. The carelessness of wealth seemed odd in a  room where so many times you’d spent time with your friends, playing cards  and cuddling Freddie’s cats.  It was alien, and totally unlike Freddie,  and the look on Rogers face matched the same look of surprise.

 Standing on the largest table In the center of the  room was the host, Freddie Mercury. He was dressed, naturally, as a Queen. A bejeweled crown sat on his messy curls, his chest bare underneath the  matching velvet jacket also adorned with jewels and Patches. When he saw you,  his face broke into his iconic wide smile.

“Look who’s late now Darlings!” He jumped down  and embraced his fellow band mates, kissing the wives on the cheek and then  coming up to you last. “I can see that Mary helped you with your outfit  choice,” he smiled at your off the shoulder red body con dress and black belt  that synced your waist in “you look ravishing.”

“Thank you, Fred!” You smiled, kissing him on the  cheek. He passed you another drink and offered you an open seat. You went to sit, but Roger gently pulled you onto his lap; shuffling his legs so you  rested comfortably against his chest. Your temples gently knocked his shoulder as you cuddled into him.

“What’s with the party Fred?” Roger asked. 

Freddie shrugged “I wanted to cause a mess,  something as wild and eccentric as me.”

“Well you’ve achieved that,” Deaky said as he  watched a man walking on his hands juggle empty champagne bottles with his  feet to wild cheers from the audience. 

 “Fabulous isn’t it?” 

“If you say so.” Brian laughed. Just then Paul  appeared, smiling with his flashy grin. No one smiled back. You felt Rogers  chest rise more as he bristled with annoyance. You rubbed the side of his leg  trying to keep him calm, but to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid  you didn’t get up to move to greet  Paul like Freddie did. 

“Everyone enjoying the party?” Paul’s Irish Lilt  slurred slightly as he filled up Freddie’s glass. Roger offered his glass to  be filled, but Paul didn’t fill it. Instead he moved so he was closer to  Freddie, his eyes shining with glee.

 “You’re starting to look like each other” Brian  pointed to the matching mustaches. 

“What’s wrong with that Brian?” Paul asked, but  his gaze had hardened. Unperturbed, Brian’s tone had a slight bite 

“You’re supposed to be in a rock band Freddie.”

 Freddie ignored him. He was too busy listening to  the music blasting from the other room. 

“Come on! Let’s dance.”

“I don’t dance” Brian said. The conversation  muddled in a chorus of story-telling of Brian’s dancing, but you noticed that  Roger wasn’t speaking. You lent closer to him so your conversation couldn’t  be over heard “you alright love?”

 “He’s really pissing me off,” Roger scowled. You  didn’t need to ask who he was. 

“Take my drink,” you offered your glass “I’m not  feeling it right now.”

“You okay?” Rogers eyes flashed with worry “we  can leave if you want.”

You shook your head “I just don’t like being  around Paul too much that’s all. You know I think he’s a creep.”

It was instinctive for Roger to tighten his hold  on you, wanting you to feel safer.He played with the hem of your dress, “Want to go do that exploring  instead?” 

You giggled “is that all you’re thinking off?”

“It doesn’t help that you’re sat on me,” Roger winked “all I can think about is you.” 

 The conversation was starting to get louder, so  now was the time to sneak away. Wriggling to stand you grabbed Rogers hand  once more and pulled him up. 

“We’re gonna go actually” Roger called as he went  to drag you away, but Freddie blocked him. 

“Roger don’t be dull-if you were anymore dull  you’d be Deaky.” 

“What you complaining at?” Roger frowned “You’ve  got your little pet.” He shot a dark look at Paul, who’d slid over to listen in. There was something about him that caused you to grip onto Rogers hand  harder, and this caused Roger to hate him even more. 

There was a shift in Freddie’s jubilant facade.  He now looked hurt, almost irritated. “I have, and he’s loyal. Loyalty is so  important,” he turned to look at you “wouldn’t you say Y/N?” 

“Careful Fred,” Roger Warned. His tone didn’t  change, but his free hand had curled into a fist. He’d also pulled you in a  bit closer, shielding you with his body from Paul, who wasn’t attempting to  hide the joy in his face as he watched the two friends fight. You tugged  Rogers hand and he pushed past Freddie, still keeping you close. You were  able to thank Freddie for the party before they were lost in the crowd, and  so you just concentrated on the mess of blonde hair that guided you up the  stairs to the top floor landing. As you’d climbed up the stairs the groups of  people had dwindled until it was just the occasional couple kissing on the  stairs or someone snoring loudly in a drunken mess.

Roger pulled you so the two of you were in  shadow, his eyes wide. “I’m sorry Fred said that” he said. “It’s the drugs.  He doesn’t mean it.”

“I know,” you nodded. You both stood there,  breathing in a second and allowing your ears to get used to lack of noise  pressure. 

“Your makeup’s smudged,” Roger smiled, gently  swiping a thumb back over on the patch on your neck. The bruise blossomed on  your skin. Once again Rogers eyes darkened. He leaned in and locked his lips  with yours, and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.  Roger hummed softly  against your lips as he pressed every inch of his  body against yours. You leaned Into him, your hair tangling with his as you  two become more and more out of control. When he breaks the kiss Rogers hands  were shaking with desire as he cupped your face. “I think there’s a room over  there.”

You raised your eyebrows “aren’t you wanting to  go home to do it?”

“I can’t wait that long,” he sighed, and he  started to gently push until your back was to the door. You fiddled for the  Door knob and cried with soft delight when it opened. Not even looking to see  if it was empty.  you pulled Roger into the darkness, enjoying the way  his lips felt against your neck as you picked up where you left it off. 

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

I did a full-series rewatch of Trollhunters

In the course of this rewatch, I made the following observations: 

A shop called “Bella’s”, with a picture of a flower on the sign, is seen four or five times when Bular is chasing Jim and Toby around town. Either they were going in circles or it’s a chain store. (Yes, I understand that animators recycle backgrounds.)

AAARRRGGHH carries Toby on his shoulders in the following scenes:

the first time Bular is chasing Toby and Jim,

the first time goblins are chasing Toby and Jim,

while chasing down Grit-Shaka’d Jim,

when Toby and AAARRRGGHH spot the Amulet flying from the museum to Jim in the woods,

during the fireworks fire,

when Toby is talking about taking Darci to play laser tag,

and in the Geode Caverns looking for Merlin’s staff.

Not Enrique climbs onto AAARRRGGHH’s shoulders in Bittersweet Sixteen and Recipe For Disaster. AAARRRGGHH rebuffs him both times, but allows it when Not Enrique climbs onto his head in Party Monster, by which time Not Enrique is more of a friend to the group.

Nomura’s grey-skinned lookalike can be seen at these moments: 

when Toby first notices the Heartstone, 

when Grit-Shaka’d Jim summons the armour at the ‘tattoo parlour’, 

when Claire first enters Trollmarket, 

at Not Enrique’s party (twice, first when AAARRRGGHH is asked about his injury, and then when Not Enrique climbs onto AAARRRGGHH’s head), 

during the initial cut to Trollmarket during the time-stop, 

when Vendel first announces the Pyrobligst match, 

when Jim pulls injured Barbara out of the wrecked car and calls for help,

when Jim tells Trollmarket that Angor Rot has a horngazel, 

during the preparations for Angor Rot’s attack as Claire practices with the Shadow Staff, 

during the preparations for Jim’s trial when Blinky and Claire begin searching for leads, 

and with Not Enrique during the Gumm-Gumm attack on Trollmarket; 

last seen in the crowd at the gyre station during the escape.

Barbara and Nomura never speak to each other onscreen. (I had noticed this before, but the rewatch confirmed it.) 

They speak about each other to other characters, and speak in each others’ presence. They presumably had conversations at the police station when Nomura had Jim and Toby arrested, at the Lake house when Nomura brought tea as a pretext for getting close enough to Jim to attack him, and at some point during the lead-up to the Eternal Night, but these were all off-camera.

The only women Barbara talks to are Nana, Ophelia, and Claire (and possibly whoever she was on the phone with in Bad Coffee).

Unless you count Nomura’s speech to the students at the museum in her introductory episode, the only woman Nomura is seen speaking to in the entire series is Usurna. 

(At least, I didn’t notice Nomura saying anything to Claire. When the other museum lady tells Nomura it’s nice to have her back, Nomura just nods silently. She must have had an off-screen talk with Gladys, the Changeling dental hygienist who told Toby that Nomura ‘warned’ her about Toby and Jim, but we don’t see that so Gladys being a Changeling can surprise the audience.)

There are actually two animation models for cats: a grey cat (Claire’s cat, the one in the Troll Pub after the first visit to Gatto’s Keep, and the one eaten by blood goblins), and a Siamese cat (has its food hover when Jim first summons the armour, and hisses at Morgana-possessing-Claire). I had previously only noticed the Siamese, which also appears in 3Below.

I’ve made this point before but don’t recall if I did so publicly: for a cat-lady, we sure never see any cats in Nana Domzalski’s house.

Toby is seen wearing his Chubby Tracker outside the Vespa dealership in Bittersweet Sixteen.

Why do the Lakes (and the Palchuks - it looks like the animation team used the same garage layout) have a refrigerator in the garage? Not a mini-fridge, a full-sized one.

At the end of Recipe For Disaster, Strickler stops Not Enrique from eating a pen.

Regarding the Spring Fling:

Coach Lawrence describes the dance as the “year end Spring Fling” when he first announces it, although there appears to be another term left between the dance and summer break. 

Coach also says the candidates for King and Queen are “faculty nominated”, which might explain how Eli got nominated when he doesn’t seem to be popular. 

Jim, Mary, and Eli were all in the school play (Mary isn’t seen on-stage but she is present during auditions and tells Toby she’s in the play when he tries to ask her out in Young Atlas), Steve is on a school sports team (do they ever say which sport?), Shannon is Student Body Treasurer, and the teachers would know Darci is the school mascot even if the other students didn’t yet. 

I literally just realized a few days ago that the reason we only saw three ‘dance themes’ presented could be because the girls’ theme suggestions happened off-camera, not because only the boys suggested themes - but this does not explain why the girls weren’t out there with the boys in the line of ‘candidates who are not presenting a theme right now, but either had or are waiting for their turn’.

Angor Rot killed at least four Trollhunters. That’s the greatest number of soul-lights onscreen at once after he dies the first time and their souls are freed. (There are actually five soul-light right before Ghost Kanjigar appears, but one of those was presumably Kanjigar, who we know was killed by Bular.)

Hunter Jim stomps on Jim in the same pose that Merlin and Gunmar later use.

I finally caught the joke when Toby tells the Tribunal, “Please have it noted for the record - and the MP3!”

I’ve been assuming Usurna used Creeper’s Sun to kill Vendel, but her knife wasn’t green so she might’ve just stabbed him. (That said, it appears to be the same knife Nomura stole and used to turn her restraints to stone so she could shatter them, so it might’ve been poisoned.)

When Strickler tries to stab Morgana-possessing-Claire, his knife is poisoned with Creeper’s Sun, seen in the green glow and confirmed when Blinky cuts the chains and they turn to stone. If Strickler knows the antidote, he might’ve seen that as a way to halt the threat of Morgana without actually killing Claire, in case they could later save her. 

There’s been some talk that Strickler was pulling his punches fighting Jim. Possible evidence: some of Strickler’s knives end up stabbed into the breastplate of Jim’s armour when they train together. That never happened when they were enemies. (Alternate theory, Jim wasn’t giving his all to shielding himself from an ally like he was when he actually expected Strickler to kill him.)

This one is pure speculation on my part: what if the reason Strickler tried to have Nomura killed by Bular in Season 1 was because he was angry she attacked his students? It could add evidence to why Bular thought Strickler was going soft.

The real plans for how the amulet is put together, seen in Merlin’s workshop, look exactly like the notes and diagrams seen in Strickler’s office when he was crafting the fake - did he acquire Merlin’s actual schematic? 

It’s been commented that the Staff of Avalon’s “human wielders only” rule was foolish of Merlin to use as a safeguard because Changelings, Morgana’s creations, can use it, but if Morgana really was Merlin’s apprentice once, it is both possible and probable that the staff predates Changelings. Maybe it was even one of her motives in inventing them.

Why did Strickler not at least attempt to steal the Staff of Avalon while escaping Trollmarket with Barbara?

I get that Troll Jim is stronger, faster, and more durable than Original Jim, but it was quite a gamble. 

He’s also taller and longer-limbed and heavier now, not to mention the horns, which should all throw off his balance and make him clumsy, requiring a learning curve to become a good fighter again. 

Even if trolls have better reflexes than humans, Jim’s not used to that and would overcompensate. 

I get that the writers couldn’t fit in that plot arc with only three episodes left in the series, but it would be nice if the risk had been addressed, even after the fact. 

We never saw where the portal went that Claire was trying to convince her parents to go through during the goblin attack, but we can assume she was trying to send them somewhere safe. We also don’t know where Enrique was, but can assume he was home with a babysitter. 

What if Claire’s portal went to the nursery, so that’s where she sent the goblin that got knocked through it? 

Tie it in to Wizards and have one of the wizards be the babysitter, thus equipped to deal with an unexpected goblin and not likely to tell their employer about it later: crossover episode! 

Why would the earthquakes damage the Darklands? That makes about as much sense as all the Gumm-Gumms exploding when Gunmar died. Which is to say, I can come up with an explanation if I work at it (Killahead Bridge was being built in Arcadia in the first place because that’s the epicentre of where the Darklands’ dimension matches up to the surface world; Gunmar’s death created a fatal magical backlash against everyone he was mind-controlling), but it doesn’t flow logically based on information provided in the show. 

Speaking of information provided in the show, this reaffirmed my belief it makes no sense for Jim to know Angor Rot used to be a hero because there are no scenes of Jim acquiring that information, which presumably would have been an emotionally charged and thought provoking discovery and thus should have been on-camera if it ever happened.

Everything speculated about when Bagdwella first barged into the Forge looking for help with a gnome problem ended up happening. The Heartstone was damaged and eventually destroyed, Jim had to fight a Stalkling, and ... well, Bular never got into Trollmarket, but Gunmar and Angor Rot both did.

Story idea that came about as a result of this rewatch: 

Instead of going out to his backyard and summoning the armour, Jim puts the amulet up for sale online like he threatened to do if it didn’t talk again. Several Changelings independently find the Amulet of Daylight on eBay and a bidding war ensues.

[shadowsof-thenight]

Where our story begins: chapter three

Story summary: This is a victorian era AU Home is where our story begins, but how does one know where home is? 


Julia has a good life. A calm life. She really doesn’t have much to complain about. That is, until a handsome stranger steps into their home in the country and all that calmness seems to disappear instantly. Who is this man that seems to terrorise everyone with his haugthy ways?


Ship: Bucky Barnes X OFC-Julia

Warnings: none here, I think...

Words: 5079

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A/N: Going back to work has proved to be a bigger challenge than I could’ve ever imagined. Combined with the less than perfect news from the doctors, I have been struggling to find the time and energy to write for long stretches of time. However, when I do write, I am usually happy with it so there’s that.

Anyway, I made a mistake in the previous chapter, turning Mary into Maria. Not sure how it happened, but it did and I will fix it. To avoid any confusion, Mary the chambermaid is not part of the MCU, which was why she wasn’t called Maria in the first place haha.

Forgive me for any mistakes you might find in this one, feel free to inform me of them so I can fix it. I work without a beta for this story and English isn’t my first language.

And as always, feedback is appreciated!

If you wish to be tagged, let me know! Edit april 22nd 2020: I replaced the chapter with a beta-ed version. Beta work done by @gnomewithalaptop​!

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Chapter three

Julia was apprehensive as she slowly walked downstairs for breakfast the following morning. She had almost asked to have her meal in her room, but a pointed look from Mary had been enough to dissuade her from that plan. She was a big girl; she shouldn’t avoid situations like that. In regular fashion, this meal would be another group event, much like dinner had been, and she wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. She wondered if she would be able to face their guest and his lingering gaze. Still, her mother would appreciate her presence, which was why she had finally left her room. She could only hope that the buffet set up off the morning’s meal would aid her in avoiding that gaze that had made her feel so uncomfortable.

She was the first to enter the dining room, where their youngest footman Charlie greeted her happily. Julia smiled back despite her soured mood. The young man had that effect on people. Charlie was always happy, smiling brightly and he treated everyone around him with such kindness that it often inspired good behaviour. Julia had yet to meet anyone that did not like him. It had been four years since he began working for her family, and she knew that her mother had not regretted hiring him for a single moment. Of course, he had come highly recommended by Jones, and Jones had proven the value of his judgement many times during his tenure with them, which was why Josephine often asked him for his opinion, not just with employees. An act that was not really done in their circles, but it had ensured the unending loyalty of the man that ran their household staff.

Julia took a plate and filled it with fruits and dried meats before taking a seat at the table, choosing the same chair as the previous night. It was her seat every meal, unless they had a house full of guests. Charlie poured her some tea and she sipped it, relishing in the silence. The calm before the storm, she thought and repressed a chuckle. As she popped a grape into her mouth, footsteps could be heard from behind her, alerting her to the arrival of another person. She fought the urge to turn her head towards the sound, her curiosity nearly getting the better of her. Charlie’s cheerful greeting, however, informed her that it was her mother that walked down the hallway.

Josephine’s hand brushed Julia’s back in greeting as she walked by to fill her own plate. As soon as she came into view of her daughter, she flashed her a bright smile. A genuine one, Julia realised. Not a word was spoken as Josephine moved around the room, finally sitting down in her chair at the head of the table. The atmosphere in the room was light and easy, which Julia enjoyed. She was never one for conversation this early in the day.

“Good morning, Lord Barnes,” Charlie spoke with a more formal tone, informing the women in the room of the presence of their approaching guest. Julia had heard his soft steps, foolishly hoping that they had been her father’s, even though his steps had never been quite that light.

Julia notably stiffened as he came closer, bracing herself for the fake well wishing she would be expected to utter in a moment. Her annoyance quickly heightened when the man only grunted in reply to their footman. Was he unable to show kindness, Julia wondered.

Lord Barnes avoided the richly decorated buffet and sat down across from Julia. Charlie was quick to offer some tea and Lord Barnes immediately began drinking it. He looked tired—no, exhausted—and out of his element. And though it was wrong, his current demeanour filled her with glee, her own aversion to the early hours soon forgotten as she kept a watchful eye on him.

“I hope the room was to your liking, James,” Josephine wondered, her voice hopeful and a bright smile covering her face.

He looked up, silent as he clearly pondered the proper reply. Julia feared for a long quiet moment, that he might insult her mother outright. Or, perhaps she hoped for it, since it would fuel her fire and definitely stop her parents from wishing for an amiable match between her and this man. However, she was surprised when he breathed in deeply, releasing slowly and forced an actual smile upon his lips. That was new.

“It is a beautiful accommodation, my Lady; unfortunately I often have trouble sleeping after a long journey.”

His answer was surprisingly honest, refreshingly void of incivility and Julia was shocked by it. When she had gone down that morning, she had been ready for a fight—to defend her mother. And there he was, putting a stop to her righteous anger. If she lashed out now, she would do her mother a great disservice, which was the very last thing she would ever want to do. He stole her thunder, without even knowing it, and it caused quite some indignation on her part. Earlier that morning, Mary had pressed her to give him the benefit of the doubt. She had suggested that he perhaps had been tired from his travels and that a night’s rest might transform him into better company. Julia now realised that she would have to agree that this might have been the case, as horrible as that was, and she resigned herself to the knowing look she would receive from her friend later on. As she nibbled on the rest of her food, she repressed the sigh threatening to leave her lips and readied herself to play the pleasant host so as to support her mother's efforts.

As per usual, Josephine tried her best to spark some conversation. She commented on the food, the weather, and the dinner party that they would be hosting the following week. She also began to tell Lord Barnes that with the sun out, the area in which they lived was a beautiful sight to behold and that people fancied walking. Before she could offer Julia’s company to their guest in a suggested stroll, which she knew her mother would soon do, Julia interrupted the flow of the words by politely inquiring who the attending guests would be for the dinner party.

Josephine barely seemed to register the ulterior motive her daughter had for the interruption, instead glad for the interaction that was finally occurring and happy to elaborate on the subject. This caused her mother to jump into a rather lengthy explanation behind the reason for the party—she wanted to introduce Lord Barnes to their friends and family. Upon her daughter’s quickly broadening smile, she smiled kindly and began to tell her who had been invited.

“Early this morning I received the final confirmation,” Josephine was giddy with excitement and it only fed into Julia’s feelings. She had no confirmation yet, but there were a few people she hoped to see.

Josephine went on to tell the two people at the table that their nearest neighbour, Lord Rumlow—one of the bachelors her parents had invited to dinner in the previous months—would also be attending. From the corner of her eye she noticed Lord Barnes snap his head up, apparently interested in the conversation now. Josephine didn’t acknowledge the change and simply continued talking, saying that her brother, Lord Philip Coulson of Cambridgeshire, and his wife Melinda would also be in attendance, as would his son, Julia’s favourite cousin, Clint. He would bring his growing family along. Finishing the group was Julia’s brother Alexander, alongside his wife Carolina. Her brother would then proceed to be a guest in the manor for another fortnight. All negativity that had been building up in Julia’s mind instantly evaporated, and she clapped her hands excitedly.

Alexander had married Carolina two years ago, after which he had only been able to visit his family twice. Julia and her parents had unfortunately not been in the position to return that favour at all. Alexander had taken over many of her father's duties at court, taking his place in parliament and a large portion of his business. Julia had missed her brother a great deal and was glad to spend time with him and his lovely wife soon. Carolina had been her friend at court, and she would be delighted to receive news from their other friends that still lived in London.

Julia had also been away from her cousin for far too long. He and his wife Natalia had invited Julia over when their twins had been born, and she had stayed for nearly two months on their estate in Kent. It had been a wonderful time, and she understood why they preferred their estate in the country. Besides, her uncle wasn’t too keen on giving up his place with the queen just yet. Julia adored the family; the twins had been a delight as babies and she hoped that had not changed now that they were toddlers. She also hoped they would still remember her, though there was little hope. They had been very small when she’d last seen them.

With a new spring in her step, Julia excused herself from the table, intending to spend some time in the confines of her room. There was a book she had been hoping to read, and perhaps she would even write Natalia and Carolina to share her excitement concerning their impending reunion.

Before she retreated to her room though, she looked for Jones, hoping to get an explanation for her father’s uncharacteristic absence from breakfast. Jones kindly informed her of the head cold that had struck her father, restricting him to his bed. The kind butler assured her that bedrest would soon have him back on his feet, but Julia still worried and inquired if a doctor had been called. Jones confirmed that this had been done, and they should expect a visit later that day. Still, Jones pressed, there was no need for worry.

Julia vowed to herself that she would visit her father before the day was done, though she needed to get her letters out first. After all, time was of the essence if she wished them to reach the recipients before they began their journey south. Therefore, she continued her way to her room, leaving the entrance hall behind her and stepping on the first step of the grand staircase. She had been about to leap across the steps, giddy and in a rush to start writing, when a throat was cleared behind her. Despite her desire to keep walking, she turned towards the sound and hoped that the fake smile she plastered on her lips at least appeared kind to the observer.

“My lady,” Lord Barnes said, dipping his head to her in an unexpected sign of etiquette. She chewed on the inside of her cheek to keep from remarking on it; after all he had not shown much knowledge of customs, or perhaps it was a mere disinterest in them.

“My lord,” she replied instead, making an awkward curtsy as she turned her entire body towards him without stepping off the step she was on.

“My apologies for keeping you from your destination, but I was hoping to ask you a question,” the tone of his voice was smooth and light, the words utterly polite.

“Please do,” Julia said with a nod and a smile, hoping to be done quickly, though she had an inkling that this would not be the case.

“Would you be so kind as to accompany me on a walk later this morning, if the weather permits it?” He asked, and Julia had to fight to keep the shock from her face. She bit her lip, her eyes widening a fraction, before she composed herself.

She had successfully thwarted her mother in suggesting this earlier, only to have him pose the question himself. She had won no ground by her clever interruption. It had not occurred to her that he would want to take a walk with her; she figured he abhorred her company. He had not yet spoken more than a few words to her, which also made her wonder what they would discuss on this stroll. Still, Julia knew she could not decline this direct inquiry even if she wasn’t eager to accept. However, before she was able to utter a single word, her mother walked up behind them and answered enthusiastically for her.

“She would be absolutely delighted, James. Wouldn’t you, Julia?” She asked, giving her daughter a pointed look from behind their guest.

Julia’s eyes widened again momentarily, before she smiled again and nodded, agreeing with her mother that she would indeed be delighted to accompany him. The fresh air would do her good, she added, hoping to at least seem somewhat genuine, for she was certain that he must have witnessed the surprise in her eyes at her mother's words.

Gratitude filled her when at that exact moment, Maudlin and Mary could be heard exiting the kitchen while discussing the linens that they would have to bring in before the rain ruined them. Julia suppressed a sigh of relief, excused herself with the explanation of her letters, and rushed up the stairs to her room, though not before she had promised to find their guest once the rain cleared up.

The moment the door closed behind her, Julia released the sigh she’d been holding, following it with a groan of annoyance. This was not how she had imagined her morning to go. And though the rain had provided her with some reprieve, she knew it would be impossible to avoid the man for long. The deep dark grey of the sky was already showing signs of easing in the distance and she knew the showers would not last too long, unlike yesterday’s downpour, which had lasted well into the night. Eventually, Lord Barnes would come to collect her, and she would have to attempt to keep a pleasant demeanour with him.

***

James sighed heavily as he stared out the window, regarding the dreary weather that was currently raging just beyond the glass he sat behind. It felt fitting, quite similar to his ongoing mood. The winds that had ravaged the area yesterday had slowed considerably, but the rain was as persistent as ever. Despite the fact that the morning was well underway, it was still rather dark out.

It had been so bad that a maid had come to light his lamps only moments earlier. It was in that moment that he’d realised that the household still used oil rather than kerosene, and another sigh had escaped him. He knew exactly why they had not made the change, though he wondered if the parents had been open about this to their children. Julia didn’t seem to be aware of their situation.

He glanced around his room once more. The colours that adorned the manor had obviously been chosen very carefully and with a keen eye, and he was certain that the shine of a kerosene lamp would’ve illuminated those far better. It was a shame really.

James had quickly come to regret his choice to come to this part of the country and almost wished he had remained at court. Not because he particularly liked the politics that would surround him there, but because he still had plenty of business to conduct before he could return home. And he really wished to return home, for it had been far too long since he had seen the red bricks of his estate or the kind blue eyes of his mother, who currently resided in the home. He missed it and the peace of mind that always seemed to surround him there.

However, he had allowed George to convince him to come here instead. They too had important business to complete, and George had known it could not be avoided much longer. James had concurred, though he wondered just what George would be able to offer him. He had hoped to discuss the matter last night, but his host had claimed illness and retired soon after dinner had concluded, leaving James with no other choice than to do the same. He had vowed to himself that he would get his answers this morning.

His expectations for his lodgings had been low, but he had been pleasantly surprised. The room had been warm, the decor inviting, and the bed far more comfortable that he had thought it would be. His day had been more exhausting than he liked to admit, though sleep didn’t come easily. He had still been awake to hear the thunder cease its efforts hours after he had entered his room. The rain had still been pounding against his window then, and though others called the sound soothing, it infuriated him and kept him from dozing off. It wasn’t until the rain had softened considerably in the early hours of the morning that he had finally succumbed to his fatigue.

After a few short hours of sleep, when he had come to the breakfast table, the exhaustion had still overwhelmed him. Especially when he had been informed that George would not be joining them. Apparently he really had gotten ill and was unable to leave his bed. James wanted to be angry and he certainly felt annoyance, though there was also a pang of guilt in his chest. He knew that George was a man of principles and that he valued appearances, he would not skip a meal with his guests in an attempt to avoid them. He was clever enough to delay unwanted business in more sophisticated ways.

With another sigh, James stood up from his seat by the window and began pacing the room. He felt somewhat like a caged animal, which did nothing to improve his mood. The weather had already soured it enough. He was well aware that he had not been a gracious guest, which had only managed to further highlight the kindness that the lady of the house bestowed upon him. He felt another pang of guilt over it, though he was not entirely convinced that he would be able to drastically change his behaviour. He found it impossible to forget why he was here or the events that preceded his arrival. He just wanted to get things done and move on. From the issue and this place.

The damp caused by the weather was now seeping through the walls, and a chill could be felt in the room despite the roaring fire, and he grabbed his thick robe to wear over his clothes. He really wanted to keep warm. The pain that the chill and damp caused would be detrimental to his already bad attitude, and he was still hoping to improve it. Lady Josephine deserved as much. Besides, he wasn’t ready to let anyone notice his agony; it would only lead to questions that he wasn’t willing to answer. Not to these people, not in this place. It was yet another reason why he wanted to return home.  

***

An hour or two passed before the weather finally turned around and a sliver of sunlight forced its way through the clouds. Julia wasn’t sure if she should be delighted or apprehensive—or perhaps the combination of the two. The persistent rain wasn’t good for the farmers in the area after the drought they had endured during the summer months, and she worried for them.

With determination, she got up, fixed her hair in the mirror and inspected her dress. It was a checkered piece, red, green, and black. The neckline was black lace that created a high cover, obscuring her neck from view. The lace returned at the bottom of the sleeves and the train. She had carefully chosen it with the weather in mind. The unavoidable puddles would ruin a light dress. She found no imperfections on the dress and resigned herself to the role of dutiful daughter, leaving the room in search of the lord currently residing in the most luxurious guest room their manor held.

She did not have to look far, for the man had already departed from his own room and made his way to the grand staircase. He was talking to one of his own employees and had yet to notice her. His hands waved animatedly, and for a moment she thought he was merely explaining something. However, as she moved closer, she noticed the anger on his face. Struck with the sudden desire to listen in, she almost ducked into the shadows of the dimly lit hallway. She would love to know what angered him so. Yet, she composed herself and made sure to make some sound as she came closer, loudly greeting the maid that was walking past.

She noticed that Lord Barnes snapped his head in her direction, rolling his shoulders and taking a few deep breaths before he walked towards her. She smiled kindly, wondering if she should brace herself for the sour mood he appeared to be in. His valet curtsied, before taking the steps two at a time, rushing down. Julia followed him with her eyes, trying to imagine just what he could be rushing off to, before turning her attention back to the man standing next to her. For once, there was no smirk adorning his features as he regarded her, but an actual smile. One that still didn’t seem to reach his eyes. She wondered just what weighed on him, for she could not imagine someone that never truly smiled.

“My lady, would it be possible to steal you away for that walk now?” He asked politely, and though part of her still wished she could decline, she was intrigued by the man. He still made her somewhat uncomfortable, perhaps because he was so difficult to read, and his behaviour the previous evening still plagued her mind, even if he did show marginally better conduct this morning.

She nodded instead, a small smile playing on her lips so as not to show any unease. He offered her his arm and guided her down the stairs. Not a word was spoken until they reached the bottom, and Julia was glad for it. She didn’t know what to say to him, which subjects to breach or avoid.

Glancing around in search of Mary, who had been assigned as their chaperone, she wasn’t surprised to see the woman round the corner that exact moment. She had clearly been keeping an eye on the weather, much like Julia had. She curtsied, and Jones walked in their direction with their coats.

Julia noticed that his coat had extra lining and wondered why someone would wear such a warm coat this time of the year. That was when she saw which frock Jones had gotten her. Not the light overcoat that she had worn these past few weeks, but a warmer one.

“My apologies, Lady Julia; I took the liberty to get a warmer coat since the winds and rain have considerably cooled the air,” Jones explained, and Julia smiled at his consideration.

“Thank you, Jones. I appreciate the consideration. I hadn’t realised.”

Not long after, she found herself outside, huddled in the long coat and suppressing a shudder as the icy winds swept over the landscape and pulled at her hair. Perhaps it was the contrast with the previous warm weather, but it suddenly seemed far too chilly for the time of the year, and she was even more grateful for Jones’s quick thinking.

Slowly, they walked around the manor, towards the path that would take them around their grounds and towards the nearest town. She didn’t know if he wanted to walk that far, but it was probably the best path to brave after all the rain. Any other path she could think of would have been absolutely riddled with puddles and mud. Still, it took them some navigating to get around any and all puddles that adorned this path.

“I’m beginning to think we should have taken a ride in my carriage instead,” Lord Barnes said softly, and she glanced at his face without an immediate response. She wasn’t entirely sure how to reply.

“Do you wish to return?” She finally asked, and he shook his head with a smile. A real one.

“I prefer walking, though I do not wish for your dress to be ruined,” he explained, and she could not help but smile as she assured him her dress would be fine. This was a kindness she had not expected from him. She didn’t bother telling him that she too preferred walking. After the short exchange, they continued to walk in silence, with Mary a short distance behind them.

Lord Barnes offered his hand to help her manoeuvre around the few fresh puddles they encountered, once even bending down to lift her dress over them. He was behaving as a perfect gentleman, and Julia had trouble reconciling this side of him with the one he had shown her before. He even tried more than once to get a conversation going, but Julia had difficulty playing the role of the dutiful hostess that she had vowed to take on. She felt that the slights towards her mother were too great to ignore.

“Can I ask what brought you here?” She finally asked, opting for this rather than the questions she really wanted answered; perhaps she could work up to those.

“Your father invited me.” He didn’t seem fazed by her impertinent inquiry.

“Where did you meet him?” It was hard to take the time for a build up of questions; she had never been the most patient person and preferred bluntness. Still, she did not want to shame her parents more than she was already doing by asking for answers she wasn’t necessarily privy too.

“At court,” he said and paused. She almost wondered if that was all she would receive when he finally began to elaborate. “Like you, I was there for most of my childhood. Our families have always done business with one another.”

“My apologies. I do not recall,” Julia was quick to offer as her cheeks turned pink. It occurred to her that she had been quite rude by not knowing these answers. She should have just asked her mother.

“Don’t atone for an imperceptible slight, my Lady; you were young.” He chuckled. “I left early for my studies. We would not have crossed paths often. When I returned, you had already relocated here.”

“I see. Does your father still reside at court?”

“No, my father passed away some time ago”

“My condolences. I did not mean to pry.” Julia hung her head, realising that she might not get to the questions that were burning in her mind. She did not want to seem insensitive to his loss.

“Thank you.” He pursed his lips and looked straight ahead. “I took over after that, though I prefer Sheffield over court.”

“I see.” She nodded, unsure where to go from this.

The silence that followed hung heavily between them and lasted far longer than she would have wished for. Julia was mulling over the questions she wished to ask him and the proper way to construct them. Finally the words just burned on her tongue, and she realised that perhaps she should just spew them.

“Did you not wish to be here then?” She tentatively began, and he seemed shocked by her words, whipping his head in her direction. She could hear the sudden intake of breath behind her and knew that Mary had heard every word. A pink tinge spread on her cheeks more violently now, but she couldn’t take it back. The harm had been done. She could only hope for his leniency.

“I have some business to conduct with your father. After which I do hope to return home speedily,” he answered finally, and Julia studied his features as he did. He appeared genuine.

“I wonder,” she stopped herself. This was perhaps the hardest part, but she felt that she was at the point of no return. She really wished to be answered, hopefully without ruining her parents’ reputation in the process.

“Yes, my Lady?” He pressed, a kind look on his face, and it gave her the courage to continue.

“Have my parents wronged you?” She finally asked and took a deep breath as she looked at him. They had stopped walking, and stood facing one another, Mary still keeping a few steps distance between them.

“My apologies, I don’t think I understand,” he said, a look of shock crossing his features.

“Last night it appeared that you could not repay the kindness that my mother bestowed upon you.” Her heart hammered in her chest; there was no telling how he would respond. It was improper to be this blunt, especially with someone she barely knew. He could easily ruin her reputation and that of her parents. He was part of the Queen’s inner circle; his word would overpower hers in the court of public perception.

James was silent, staring down at her, and she shifted under his intense gaze. She wished he would speak, but when he did not, she decided to elaborate. There was very little to lose now. “It appeared that she had been nothing but gracious, and yet you did not repay her in kind.”

“Indeed, Lady Josephine is a very sophisticated lady. I shall apologise when I see her,” he smiled as he spoke and offered her his arm once more, to continue their walk into town.

Julia was stunned. She had not expected him to agree with her, she had prepared for a verbal lashing, anger, revulsion. Instead he promised to apologise. All the anger that had been building up inside of her suddenly evaporated with this unsuspected change of events. She truly did not understand this man. Julia glanced behind and saw Mary’s wide eyes and open mouth. She had shocked her maid and could only hope that the woman would remain quiet on the subject. She really didn’t want anyone in the manor to know about this. She had been mortified enough by her own brazen actions.

***

Next Chapter

[har-rison-s]

i was born to love you: three

A/N: Love this series. Honestly, wouldn't have thought I'd finished this in one night, but here I am. Bit more than an hour, but I worked hard, and I should actually be sleeping now, but here you are! Hope you enjoy. Happy reading!

warnings: angst, grrrr!

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borhap masterlist

borhap!roger masterlist

The band and Y/N land at Heathrow airport in the later hours of a summer day. It's a bit windy, and Y/N has to wrap a cardigan around her shoulders, although Roger offered his jacket to her. To that, she gave him a strange look and mumbled a word or two about managing on her own. There's no sun, but it's brighter than usual, and the ones without sunglasses have to squint a little while they wait for a taxi. 

Y/N taps her foot against the pavement, impatient and indecisive. She bites down onto her lip from the inside and her fingers drum along her upper arm, her arms being crossed over her chest from the slight cold. America was much warmer than London, and it makes her a little grumpy. Although that's not the only thing getting on her nerves.

Brian and John are chatting between themselves while Freddie's talking to Mary. Roger's smoking and Y/N is standing further away from him than she usually does. She's not particularly against smoking, because she smokes as well from time to time, she only hates the thought of cigarette smoke in her face. Today she hates it more than any other day.

Once the thoughts, doubts and questions get too loud in her mind, she shakes her head and sighs. Y/N has decided to eventually ask Roger about what she heard on the plane. She has to find out if it's true or not, for the sake of her own sanity.

Y/N walks up to Roger and clears her throat, bringing his attention to her. He takes the cigarette out of his lips' capture and looks at Y/N with squinted and weary eyes. He was whining moments before about his sunglasses being forgotten in the plane, and so he has to bear with the clouded sun, just as Y/N. “Want my jacket, don't you?” Roger asks her and Y/N scoffs at his question. She shakes her head.

“No.” Y/N replies. Roger nods, and watches her, awaiting for what she wants to say or ask him. The worst assumptions appear in his mind, and he starts to grow nervous. What if she knows? What if— “I wanted to know where you were at the night of the party.” She says finally, and looks at Roger fearfully and with much carefulness. His breath gets caught up in his throat, and he fights back a cough. That would give it all away... “I mean, I never saw you leave, and then I noticed you were gone.” Y/N pauses, looking down at how her foot draws half circles on the pavement. “But I figured you went out for a smoke. Then I forgot about it—thanks to the alcohol—and after a while, I got sleepy and went with Deaks to his room.” She admits and looks up at Roger. Y/N takes a deep breath. “But where were you? Who were you with?”

Roger gulps and tears unwillingly gather in his eyes. The cigarette almost falls from his hand as he thinks the words she knows. He breathes in slowly, his breath shaking, and he wants to look away from Y/N. But Roger can't. And they both know that his eyes have already betrayed him in a way. Y/N waits for him to answer. She also wants to tear her eyes from his, but she's captured by her own search for answers in Roger's blue orbs.

“I—I, I went to my hotel room...” Roger says quietly. Y/N nods, the hand on her upper arm already digging tighter into it. There will be marks. She waits for Roger to say more, to say anything. How she wants to hear lies from him, pretending to be the biggest truth, but she can't. Y/N needs to know the truth, even if it tears them both apart. Roger's still silent, but perhaps Y/N's already gotten her needed answers from the tears falling past his eyelids.

“And? Were you alone?” She asks, fearing the reply more than anything she has ever feared in her life. Her voice breaks at the last word, and she hates herself for it. Y/N has given away her feelings to the man she's supposed to love, the man who was, after all, unfaithful to her. 

The pair hold a strong gaze between each other, tears gathering in both their eyes. Roger's mind is bound to explode from all the internal torture, and how he wants to lie... He wants to lie, but not to her. Roger also doesn't want her to know the truth, but she's asked, and there's no going back. The conversation can't be ended here anymore, it's way too late for that. Roger doesn't want to hurt her. But he already has.

Slowly, Roger shakes his head and looks slightly away. His answer crushes Y/N completely, and she sobs into her hand. So it's true. The girls weren't pulling a joke. Oh, how Y/N wishes that this all is a horrible joke or a prank. 

She reaches her hand up to her mouth, covering her lips so people around them couldn't hear her crying. The last thing she needs right now is a pap or a fan, or any press person seeing her in distress and putting it all over the papers. 

Roger immediately looks back at her, and wants to lunge at her, crush her with his loving arms, not his hurtful words. Hug her so tight she'd forget this conversation. But he doesn't, he holds himself back, and regains his posture, taking a drag of cigarette. 

It hurts him to see her cry, and know that he's the reason for it. She will never forgive him. He sees that. Roger knows it. Y/N cries into her hand, and turns her left side to Roger. She doesn't even want Deaky seeing her cry. He's got other things to worry about, other than his best friend's heart break. She knows it's wrong to think that way, but she can't help it. 

“How? I don't understand...” Y/N says softly, taking all the courage in herself to look at Roger once more. She barely sees through her tears that he's crying as well. She cares, but doesn't want to show it. Y/N watches Roger for a while as he's trying to say something, but every option seems wrong and distasteful for the current situation. He's struggling. 

Suddenly, Y/N unfolds her arms and stretches them out at her sides and inhales deeply, looking up. She sounds as if she's caught a cold, but it's only her nose being stuffed from the crying. Y/N wipes her tears and then massages the skin on her face with her small fingers, sighing deeply. She looks over her shoulder out into the airport's territory and sighs again, quietly and slower this time. 

Y/N walks back a few steps to get her handbag and suitcase, then returns to her place in front of Roger. It takes Brian's and John's attention, and they turn to watch Y/N and Roger, wondering where she's going and if she's leaving. 

Y/N gazes into Roger's hurt and regretful eyes with now anger in her own eyes. “We're over.” She says, wanting to add his name to the sentence, but fears she may break down and cry if she does. “I thought I was the most important person to you, but...” Y/N trails off, “guess I was wrong. Perhaps, now that you're single, you can find a girl who'll fit your standards perfectly.” She shrugs.

She masks her hurt and heartbreak with mean words, it's what she thinks is best for her. Y/N gets a stupid tear out of her eye while Roger watches her with his own eyes full of true tears, true hurt and pure regret. He should never have done what he did. Never. How could he even think of it? 

Y/N storms past Roger then, leaving him with his crying and cigarette smoke. John and Brian start to walk after her, and Brian even stops to look at Roger, turning the drummer's face towards himself to find out what just happened. He sees that Roger's crying, and gets even more confused. Brian lets go of his mate, and follows Deaky, who cannot for the life of him catch up to Y/N. She's too fast, and on her way to find another taxi spot or to get on the public airport shuttle. 

“Y/N!” Both Brian and Deaky call after her, but she doesn't stop walking. She's on the way to start running, judging by her walking speed. Brian stops running after her, while Deaky still tries to catch up, and he walks back to Roger.

“What the hell's going on?” He asks the drummer. Roger's eyes shoot to Brian momentarily, and panic and stress are visible in them. Brian furrows his eyebrows and puts his hands on his hips, panting from the slight running he just had to do. “Roger?” 

He's still silent. Roger doesn't speak a word to any of his band mates even when Freddie comes up to him, or when they've gotten into a cab that will take them home. All except Deaky are in the cab, but they took his luggage to bring to Veronica's. 

The bassist is at the bus stop, hugging Y/N tightly while she cries. Other than that, she's also quiet, not saying anything or explaining her leaving. She can't even bring herself to admit what she's found out, what Roger's done, or how she feels. All she can do is cry, and it feels like she could spend her whole life crying.

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