#borhap!roger imagine

[glitterdreamsz]

A Penny for Your Thoughts (part 4)

BoRhap!Roger x reader

Summary: The Reader and Roger have been a couple since they were sixteen. But what would happen to their relationship now that Roger’s dream of being a rock star is becoming reality? A/N: Sorry for the waiting and sorry for playing with your feelings.  I know that the months with the Rainbow’s concert and Sheer Heart Attack don’t coincide in reality but I had to put them in a way they could work with the fic storyline I hope you will like this chapter and don’t be afraid to let me know what you think about it. Words: 2,7k+ Warnings: angst, swearing there could be grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language

End of March 1974

“I think that maybe I should rent a new apartment studio and move there” you said while looking through the newspaper announcements. After you found out about Roger you went to Brian’s flat and he offered you to stay there for as long as you wanted. Since the band have been on tour for a month you decided to stay there for the whole time not feeling good at coming back to your shared flat. But now Queen have been back to London for the final gig of their tour and you felt that the right thing to do was looking and moving to your own place. “You know that I don’t mind if you stay here.” “Bri, you only have a room, you can’t sleep on the couch for months.” “Do you think that’s the best solution?” he asked taking a sip of the coffee you made for breakfast. “What? You not sleeping on the couch?” you asked not looking up from your eyes from the newspaper as you circled some announces with the highlighter “Yes.” He nodded  “I mean, do you think that moving out would be the right thing to do? Do you really want to do it?”  “Yes Bri, it’s not that I don’t like spending time with you but we can’t fit in this house at the same time.” “It’s not about that Penny” he shook his curly hair “It’s about Roger. Do you really want to move to another place before talking to him?” “What should we talk about Brian?” you asked this time lifting your head up. “Hi, so yeah, a month ago you cheated and hey, I still love you but hey you still cheated on me.” “You still love him (Y/N), you said it. You need to fix it.” “He cheated on me Brian!” your voice started to get pissed. “He’s not doing fine, you should talk to him.”

*****flashback****** “Roger you’re late, again.” John said as Roger walked into the rehearsals “I know” he grunted as he sat behind the drumkit.  “Rog we know that it’s hard for you but-” “Oh, shut the fuck up Bri” he spat out before starting to hit the toms “Rog” the guitarist tried to make him stop but that only made Roger hit harder on the drum kit. “Roger” he said out loud only wanted to reason with his friend but it didn’t seem to work. “Roger shit” he hit one of the toms with his foot moving it away from the drum kit. “What the fuck mate! What is wrong with you?” The drummer asked pissed as he got up from his stool. “What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you Roger! You show up late, you treat people like shit. We know it’s hard for you because of (Y/N) but you should start to act like a mature person” Brian really tried to keep calm and be reasonable with Roger but at the moment he really lost all his patient which normally was a lot. “You really have to shut your fucking mouth about it.” “I have to shut my fucking mouth?” “What are you? A parrot that repeats everything I say? Or are you deaf?”  “You know why I shouldn’t shut my fucking mouth about it? Because when Penny found out about you cheating on her she came to my place.” He emphasised it by pointing at his own chest. “And I was the one who has been seeing her crying for days.” “Yeah, she is at your fucking place and you don’t let me talk to her.” “She doesn’t want to Roger, I can’t force her.” “You love this, don’t you? Me breaking her heart and she crying on your shoulder. It’s perfect, isn’t it?”  “What the fuck do you mean?” “Oh, as if you didn’t know” he groaned. “I see how you look at Penny when she walks through the door. I bet you even already fucked her.” That’s when Brian pushed Roger with all the anger he had in his body “Are you fucking stupid? Do you really think I would do this? Do you really think that I would go after your girl?”  “She is not my girl anymore!” and for the hundred-time tears fell down from Roger’s eyes again. *****************

“I should but I don’t have and I don’t want to” you shrugged taking a bite of your toast. “Listen, come tonight at the gig. Then you can decide if you want to leave or if you want to stay and maybe see Roger.” “Why should I?” “Because you’re Penny and Roger, you can’t let this all slip away. You need to solve this.”

*****flashback****** “You knew it, didn’t you?” you asked wiping the tears from your cheeks. Brian didn’t reply as he played with his own hands. “I saw how you look at me at dinner when the guys mentioned Roger calling me. I mean if you knew it-” “I didn’t know what to do” He interrupted you lifting his face to look at you. “You are both my friends, I knew that telling the truth was the right thing to do but it would break both of your hearts. And I didn’t want to step in your relationship, it wasn’t my place.” “It’s fine Bri, you didn’t have to say anything.” “I just didn’t want anyone to end up hurt.” “Too late” you chuckled trying to be sarcastic as you laid your head on your shoulder but it all fell in silence. “You are too kind Bri” you mumbled “You know” you tilted your face so you could see him, he was already looking at you. “I feel like I chose the wrong Queen.”  And if your first comment caused silence this one was even worst but Brian never left his gaze from yours and you didn’t know why but you started to bite your bottom lip, at the same time you both moved closer yet when your foreheads touched you both held on. “It’s better if we stop before we do something that we will regret tomorrow.” You immediately pulled away moving far from Brian “I’m sorry” you said covering your mouth with your hand. “I don’t know what got me.” “It-it’s fine (Y/N)” he tried to reassure you “You are just shaken from all the things that happened. *********

You listened to what Brian suggested to you, after all, you had to admit that most of the times he was right. As you walked inside the Rainbow theatre you could see how it all changed from the last Queen concert you have been at. The venue was surely bigger and there were already plenty of people looking for the band to start. You decided to take your place on the back and started to watch around while waiting, you could see the usual group of groupies which eventually had more members than the last times and you were capable to hear what they were saying. “Isn’t that Roger’s girlfriend?” “How come she’s here? I’ve heard that they broke up.” “Does that mean that I still won’t be able to go with Roger?” You couldn’t help but grin at their comments, you always wondered where they did find the strength to get all dressed up almost every night hoping to get laid by a band member. But maybe you couldn’t understand them because you were never able to be in their shoes, you always had Roger, you never had to make an impression on him. Still tonight you decided to wear his favourite dress, put a lot of effort on your hair and makeup and wear heels, you still have to understand why you did that, god he should be the one crawling back to you. Maybe you just wanted to show him what he lost, but did he really lost you? When the lights turned off and people started to scream you could tell that the show was about to start and then the first notes of Now I’m Here began to play. You found yourself stamping your feet at the rhythm and singing along even to the new songs they recorded. When new album Sheer Heart Attack still had to be released Brian sent you home a demo of it. When you first put it on the record player you couldn’t help but feel melancholy as you missed when Roger came back home from the studio and let you hear what they had recorded. Or when he sat on the couch with you, reading some lyrics he wrote down on his notebook. “What do you think of it?” he always asked while scratching his head and your answer was “I love it” all the time. When they came to the stage following their half concert break, you could tell that something was off with Roger. He wasn’t playing bad, but even from the back of the venue and even if he was hidden behind his drum kit, you could see that something was bothering him. You couldn’t tell what though, you made Brian promise you that he wouldn’t tell Roger about you being at the concert so you knew it wasn’t because of you. As proof of your thoughts as soon as the last song finished Roger stood up and smashed his drum kit to the ground. “Shit” you whispered as you started to make your way to the backstage trying to walk as fast as you could through all those people, “Why did I fucking decided to wear high heeled booths?” you mumbled to yourself. As you reached the door before their changing room a man stopped you “You can’t walk in here miss.”  “I’m Roger Taylor’s girlfriend” you argued looking at him. “I’m sorry but I wasn’t advised to let you in.” “Come on mate” you groan. “Let her in.” You turned your face to where that voice came from and you saw Mary standing right next to the door, you smiled at her as you both made your way backstage. “They were fucking close with their fucking cameras, we couldn’t interact” you could hear Roger’s voice coming from the changing room. “Still you shouldn’t have done that, you almost hit me and John” Freddie retorted.  “You just are too irascible lately.” Brian said You stood there, unsure of what you should do, was it a good thing to walk in? Should you go back to Brian’s place? “You should talk to him” Mary said as if she could read your mind. You nodded biting your lip and slowly opened the door.  “Oh don’t be fucking ridiculous.” Roger grunted looking at Brian but then he immediately froze as he saw you standing by the doorframe. He was the only one who could see you as he was sat on the couch and the other was standing facing him. But as they turned around to look what Roger was staring at they stopped their conversation. “I think it’s better if we go out.” John said walking toward you followed by his bandmates. Bri winked at you letting you know that you made the right decision.  As the door was closed behind your back silence fell in the room, you didn’t know what to say and Roger still couldn’t believe you were there right in front of him.  You looked at his figure, every inch of him, every single part you missed during that month “Your hands” you whispered breaking the silence. “What?” the drummer frowned, wondering why that would have been the first thing you decided to say. “Your hands, you have cuts on them.” You walked closer taking the first aid kit that laid on the table. “Oh.” Roger looked at them, he drummed pretty hard that night and smashing his drum kit didn’t help the wounds he got at the beginning of the tour. “I’m quite used to it.” “I bet that throwing your drums wasn’t the best thing to do.” You said with a hint of sarcasm as you kneeled down in front of him, between his legs. Without saying a word you took his hands on yours and started to disinfect them. Roger hissed closing his eyes at the burning feeling “I know, it hurts” that comment made the blonde man smile, it was what you usually said any time you took care of his hands after a concert. It was like a ritual, whenever he started a tour, after a break from playing the drums, he was used to having cuts on his hands because of how hard he hit the drums and toms. So whenever he walked off stage with bloody hands he knew he would have found you backstage waiting for him, he sat in front of you and waited patiently as you took care of his injuries. And now, with you there in front of him, focused on nursing him, it all felt like everything was fine, like his heart could finally take a break from all that pain and sorrow. “(Y/N)?” “Yes?” you looked up at him and his heart stopped, just as if it was the first time he saw you. “I’m sorry, for all the shit I did, I’m so fucking sorry.” “Rog-” you sighed “I never wanted to hurt you and believe that I feel like the most horrible man in the world. I guess I took you for granted, I think that maybe I started to get used to the idea that I would have always found you back home. But believe me when I say that this has been the worst fucking month of my life.” You could see that his eyes started to get watery. “The thought that I might have lost you kills me, I can’t imagine a life without you, I need to know that if I’m away on tour I can always call you and you’ll pick up on the other line, I need to know that you will be by my side on every up and every down, I need you to tell me that it’s fine if we still live in that shitty flat as long as we’re together. I need to fall asleep in your arms while you’re talking about how Freddie didn’t let you go home with the fur you saw at the stall. I need you.” Your hands left his ones as you brought them up to his face to wipe away his tears. “You hurt me like no one ever did before, Roger.” Your voice came out as a whisper and suddenly you felt so vulnerable. “But I would be a liar if I told you that I didn’t miss you any second during this month. You were my only guarantee in life and knowing that we might have not been together anymore just broke me. I tried to pretend that I was fine, that I was this strong woman ready to move on from you and live my life. But I will never be able to move on from you, you are my first and only love.” The last words chocked in your throat. “And maybe I’m a masochist, but I will always come back to you.” Roger’s hands went to your arm as he slowly made you stand up from the floor and made you sit on his lap. His forehead was against yours and his thumb was now stroking your cheek. “I love you” he whispered, his lips just a few inches from yours. “I love you too” you admitted as you waited so long to say those words to him. And he kissed you deeply, as his life depended on it, holding you close, afraid that you would disappear at any moment. Your hands cupped his face and you knew that eventually, it would take time to fully trust him again, but you loved him and you just couldn’t let him go. “Will you come home with me tonight?”  “Well, I wouldn’t decline the offer Mr Taylor” and there you were, the old Penny and Roger that anyone knew.

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