#also the imax thing??? kill me

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Gladiator II - Thoughts (SPOILERS)

I was fortunate enough to watch Gladiator II at the Royal Global premiere at Leicester Square last night (Wednesday 13th November) and I NEED to share some thoughts but there are definitely some spoilers, so…

I cannot stress this enough:

THERE ❗️ ARE ❗️ SPOILERS ❗️ BELOW ❗️ THE ❗️ CUT ❗️

Once again

⚠️ DO NOT CLICK THE READ MORE IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS FOR GLADIATOR II ⚠️

There’s probably things I’m missing/forgetting right off the top of my head, and I might be paraphrasing/summarising some dialogue. I definitely need to rewatch it when I’m NOT super close to an IMAX cinema screen because I spent the whole movie with my neck craned backwards and my eyes darting everywhere because I was trying to take it all in.

Anyway, without further ado:

The opening credits were very beautiful, it recounted the plot of the original film but kind of like in the style of the opening credits of Pillars of the Earth? I don’t know if that makes sense 😭

If I remember correctly, Joseph is billed third behind Paul and Pedro, and Fred is billed fourth 🥹♥️

The film opens with a huge battle where the Roman army, led by Marcus Acacius, conquering the last free city of Africa (I think?), which is what Lucius and his wife are trying to defend

I cannot for the life of me remember what Lucius’ wife was called but she seemed nice, we only had her for a few minutes though before she got killed 😭

Okay so I’m going to start right off the bat by talking about the Emperors as they were the ones I was most looking forward to seeing, and I want to give them their own section!

We NEED to talk about Fred as Caracalla - this isn’t even me being biased, I’m being as unbiased as I can when I say that he was AMAZING

By the way, for months I’ve seen people talk shit about Fred, complaining about how they wish it was Barry Keoghan, whinging because “we could have had Joe and Barry” - to those people I say, shut the fuck up ☺️ I will NOT tolerate any hate for my boy Fred!

Fred actually had a much meatier part than Joe which was pleasantly surprising. I’m not saying Joe wasn’t unhinged or good, but he was way more sane than Fred’s character and you got the feeling that he was trying to hold their rule together and keep his brother from bringing down the whole empire

Caracalla surprised me because he was so much more softly spoken than I anticipated; in so many scenes he was childlike and almost pitiful to watch. For example, there were times where you could see him pouting or fidgeting like a bored toddler, at one point he essentially threw a tantrum and Geta had to hold him back from killing Acacius and Lucilla (and then in the background you could see him playfully swing the sword about like a child would with a toy) He would grin and get excited like a child whenever there was fighting or bloodshed, bouncing in his seat, he looked surprised and excited in the beginning when Geta handed him wine etc.

In the last coliseum fight scene, this was literally Caracalla getting excited when the fighting started - a literal child 😭

Honestly it was just fascinating to watch Caracalla because you could never tell if he was going to be childlike and almost-innocent or if he was going to start screaming and get violent

So apparently the reason that Caracalla is unhinged is because (to quote Geta) “the disease from his loins has spread to his head” (to paraphrase) which makes me think he’s got syphilis or something.

Also both of the emperors are briefly seen with concubines (as in the trailer), and Caracalla has both male and female ones hanging around him 😭 we love a bisexual Emperor!

Caracalla seems to have memory problems (probably as a result of his STI) because he doesn’t remember seeing Lucius fighting in front of them from just a couple of days ago at their party (the scene with the concubines) and Geta tries to remind him, “it’s the poet” but Caracalla just sits down and says he doesn’t remember

There’s a scene where Marcus and Lucilla are brought to the emperors in the middle of the night after being caught in a conspiracy to overthrow them, and you’ve got Geta in that red robe from the trailer whilst Caracalla is basically just wearing a fucking bedsheet toga style 😭 you know that shot in White Lotus where Fred/Quinn has a duvet around himself? Kind of like that

Contrary to that Letterboxd review calling the twins “BJ brothers”, there is NO incest in this film, and no hint of incest between the twins. I know a screenshot is circulating of Joe in the red robe where you could see what looked like the top/side of Fred’s head as if he’s on his knees, but they were absolutely NOT doing that 💀 the scene shows them both entering the room (Geta in his robe, hastily put on) and Fred in his bedsheet toga thing. I definitely didn’t get the vibe of incest at all, I got the vibe of “it’s the middle of the night and they’ve both been woken up because these two traitors (Marcus and Lucilla) were caught plotting against them”

I love that Caracalla’s weakness is Dondas (or Dundas? Different magazines are using different names so I’m so confused), his pet monkey (WE FUCKING LOVE CHERRY AND SO DOES FRED 😭♥️) Like he’s got Dondas/Dundas wearing a fucking dress and on a little chain lead, eating sweets from a bowl, and I have to applaud Fred for being able to act with a straight face while he had the monkey crawling over his shoulders, touching his hair, and at one point when the monkey moved the chain lead literally went right around/over his face

While there’s riots going on outside the palace, Caracalla is freaking out and has Dondas/Dundas the monkey on his shoulder, and Geta straight up threw wine at both of them before saying that maybe Dondas (or Dundas, whatever the fucking name is) go and calm down in another room 💀

There’s a scene where Macrinus finds Caracalla hiding under a table with the monkey and it made me think they were almost playing hide and seek 😭 truthfully I think he was just under there crying and hiding

It’s the fact that Macrinus was able to manipulate Caracalla into killing Geta by using his love of Dondas/Dundas against him; the people of Rome protest against their emperors, and Macrinus basically tells Caracalla that Geta is going to throw him to the plebs outside to be killed - and Dondas/Dundas. “Think about what they might do to Dondas” (or Dundas) - and that’s what pushes him over the edge.

NOT CARACALLA AND MACRINUS SAWING GETA’S FUCKING HEAD OFF LIKE THAT 😭 IT WAS STRAIGHT UP LIKE A HORROR FILM WITH MACRINUS COMING UP BEHIND CARACALLA AND HELPING?!?

Also Caracalla made the monkey a fucking consul of state (I think) after he killed Geta?!?! 😭 Absolutely fucking UNHINGED I TELL YOU

“ALL HAIL DONDAS! 😃” (or Dundas - again, someone please tell me the fucking monkey’s confirmed name)

They showed Geta’s head for WAY too long 😭 and Macrinus just showing it around like that?!? NASTY

Reeling over the fact they airbrushed out Geta’s head for the trailer because in this shot in the film Geta’s head is clearly visible on the table behind Denzel 💀

Sorry but Fred looked damn fine in that purple outfit near the end 😋

I feel like Caracalla had a little bit of a soft spot for Lucilla but the two sides of his personality were warring with each other: the sadistic bloodthirsty side wanted to murder both her and Marcus right away, but then near the end he whispers to Macrinus “must we kill Lucilla?” and he sounded a little hesitant or unsure which was interesting

Seeing Fred as Caracalla without Geta in that last coliseum battle scene? I can’t help but love him, Fred is seriously too good in this role. The shouting, the childlike excitement when the fighting started (see gif above)

Fred was definitely playing up the childlike side of Caracalla in his last scene when the people started revolting, he was literally curling up in his seat, snivelling and crying like a baby until Macrinus killed him from behind (he put something in his ear, i think he stuck a pin in his ear to impale his brain?) Truly pitiful end for Caracalla.

Once again: Fred Hechinger for Best Supporting Actor at the 97th Academy Awards campaign!! 😊↕️

Okay so now I’ve talked about the Emperors, I can talk about the rest of the film:

Ridley Scott truly said fuck historical accuracy in this film 😭 which is not surprising to be fair if you know him and his movies

This film was, expectedly, VERY bloody and violent from start to finish

NOT LUCIUS TAKING A BITE OUT OF THE BABOON 🤯

At one point where they���re bringing the slaves into Rome, they show statues of a wolf feeding two human children from her teat and Lucius recounts the story - this is obviously a reference to Romulus and Remus, twins raised by a wolf mother. This is actually really fitting because from earth on, Ridley AND Fred and Joe have mentioned the idea of the twins being based on this Romulus/Remus story?

DAMN, Paul Mescal was super beefy in this film like holy fucking shit dude

Honestly I adore Pedro but his role was way smaller than I thought it would be. His role is essentially to be Lucilla’s decent and loyal husband who also happened to lead the invasion that killed Lucius’ wife in the beginning of the film, something he did not want to do, hence why Lucius wants to kill him so badly (family drama, eh? 😭) and who is part of a plot to dethrone the twins

MATT LUCAS AS THE MASTER OF CEREMONIES?!? 😭 I won’t lie, at first it distracted me because I was like “why the fuck is Matt Lucas here” but he got a few laughs out of the cinema screening so his tiny parts added a little bit of humour to the film when it got tense

As I said above, there’s no incest shown - there is a MENTION, however, of a rumour that Lucius’ real father wasn’t Lucius Verus(?) but rather Commodus (obviously Lucilla’s brother/Lucius’ uncle from the first film). However, it’s not true because they make it very clear that Lucius’ father is Maximus. They do however briefly mention that Lucilla was a child bride at the age of 14 which is a bit fucked up

I was probably the only person in my screening who noticed this but at one point I saw graffiti on one of the walls on the outside/entrance to the coliseum that said something like “Irrumbo Imperators” - according to Google, that translates as “I attack the emperors”. However, it could have also been “Irrumabo Imperatores”, and if you ask Google to give you the Latin word for “fuck”? It’s “Irrumabo”. So essentially there was graffiti in the film that either said “attack the emperors” or “fuck the emperors” 💀

I thought that maybe Lucius had somehow forgotten that Lucilla was his mother despite being 12 when she sent him away but nope, he’s fully aware of who he actually is and who his mother is, he’s just angry at her for sending him away and never seeing him again 😭

NOT THAT SERVANT TATTLING ON LUCILLA AND MARCUS?!? 😤

They killed Marcus off WAY earlier than I thought they would by the way. The trailers give the impression that the final battle is Lucius vs Marcus but it’s actually Lucius vs Macrinus which is WILD to me

You know that scene in LOTR where the orcs shoot Boromir full of arrows? That is basically what happened in this film to General Acacius but with about 20 more arrows 💀 I had major Boromir flashbacks watching this scene

I’m glad that Lucilla and Lucius got to reconcile before the ending, given what ended up happening

“Because Emperor Caracalla is generous, he will allow Lucilla to have one Gladiator to fight to defend her” - ONE. ONE AGAINST ABOUT 30 TRAINED GUARDS 💀

I’m still reeling over the fact Derek Jacobi spoiled his own character’s death on the red carpet a mere hour before the film screening in front of THOUSANDS of people 😭 that man did NOT give a fuck quite frankly and I think that’s kind of hilarious of him

THE GASP THAT EVERYONE IN THE SCREENING COLLECTIVELY LET OUT WHEN MACRINUS KILLED LUCILLA BY SHOOTING HER IN THE CHEST?!? HE KILLED CARACALLA AND LUCILLA IN 60 SECONDS FLAT 😭

That said, this shot from the behind the scenes featurette about Ridley Scott is ten times funnier to me after watching the film and realising that not only is Ridley showing Denzel how to shoot the arrow that kills Lucilla, but Fred is also supposed to be dead in the chair at this point since Macrinus takes the bow and fires the arrow straight after killing Caracalla 😭

Poor Lucius has now seen his father, his mother, his uncle and his wife all die right in front of him, the man CANNOT catch a break 😫

That final battle between Lucius and Macrinus was GRUESOME 😳 Lucius cut off his hand and slashed him - I’m not sure if he actually cut him in half or if Macrinus just crumpled in the river in a heap but DAMN

This film used footage from the first Gladiator film so they gave the actor who played Lucius in the first film a credit which was nice!

That said, I know obviously it’s been 24 years since the original film so of course the child actor from the original is no longer 12 and so could not be in the flashback scenes showing young Lucius, but damn the difference was a little jarring to be honest, especially when it went from footage of the original film to new footage with the new child actor

Ridley Scott spoiled the ending of this fucking movie by saying he wanted to have Paul back to play Lucius again as the main character in Gladiator III 💀 so yeah, I already knew Lucius was surviving this film

Some final summary thoughts:

Let’s be honest, it would be impossible to top the first Gladiator and so while I loved Gladiator II and think it was amazing, it was obviously never going to quite reach the same level as the original

I know I just made the comment about nominating Fred for Best Supporting Actor but I have to be honest, I truly think Denzel deserves the nomination - if there’s only one actor from this film who gets that nomination, it has to be Denzel because he was by far the standout of the whole film. If I had to rank it personally I’d say Denzel and then Fred is a close second, then maybe Joseph and Pedro?

^ This isn’t me saying Joe and Pedro were bad at all, they were all really amazing, but this film just had so many characters and quite frankly Fred, Joe and Pedro had WAY less screentime than Denzel so they didn’t have nearly as much to work with as he did.

Again; I’m biased because I went in the most excited to see the Emperors, but I wish we’d had more of Caracalla and Geta. Fred and Joe did their best to work with what they were given, but they didn’t have that much and pretty much all of their scenes were shown in trailers or TV spots etc.

GIVE CHERRY THE MONKEY A FUCKING OSCAR

I obviously wasn’t expecting Paul Mescal to fight real baboons, rhinos and sharks but the CGI was… not great. It was quite obvious that it was CGI for the baboons and sharks, I think the rhino was slightly better though (Fred mentioned in an interview his first day involved “the mechanical rhino” so it was somewhat partly practical as well I suppose)

The pacing of this film was a little all over the place, if I’m being honest. I want to rewatch soon, from further back in the screen because, as I said, I was craning my head back the whole time and it ended up giving me a neck and headache so that probably added to me being uncomfortable (plus I’d had a long day and was thoroughly burned out by the time the screening started), but there were times where I was like “oh… we’re back here then 😐”

^ What I’m trying to say is that some of the storylines happened so fast and had very little build up (eg. The emperors in general) whilst other plots were so slow burn in comparison.

The music was so good! I know people are going to compare it unfavourable to Hans Zimmer’s original score from the first film, but I LOVE Harry Gregson-Williams (he did the soundtrack for the first two Narnia films so I’m biased 😅) and I thought he did a great job with the score here. The fact he had Hans Zimmer’s approval and praise made me confident the score would be great anyway

I feel like people are obviously going to compare Paul Mescal to Russell Crowe which… let’s be honest, has gotta suck for him because how the fuck do you live up to Russell Crowe?!? Some people have already said that they didn’t like Paul in this film, which… okay, fair enough. I honestly don’t think comparing him to Russell Crowe does him any favours. I enjoyed watching him personally, and I think given that this whole film rests on him, he did great. Not quite Russell Crowe but I have no complaints about his performance personally.

People are also going to compare Joe and Fred to Joaquin Phoenix’s Commodus, and I think they both did a great job given that they didn’t actually have nearly as much screen-time as Joaquin did in the original film. It’s almost unfair to compare them because in the first Gladiator, Commodus was the main antagonist - in this film, Macrinus is the main antagonist overall whilst the Emperors are more secondary antagonists that serve as obstacles for Macrinus’ rise to power. But they both did great with what they had.

Overall, my opinion of the film?

This film NEEDS to be seen on a big screen at the cinema! Go and watch it!

[stabortega]

NO SURPRISES — CHAPTER TWO

Summary: Having to deal with the aftermath of that situation was definitely worse then finding out the truth.

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!G!P!Reader

Warnings: NSFW. Implied fem reader, she/her pronouns used. Mentions of sex, dirty talking and sexting. Knife play. Mentions of kinks, nothing explicit. Top!Reader x Bottom!Jenna. MDNI.

Author's Note: Still think my writing is trash but you guys seem to like it. 💜

MASTERLIST.

"What the actual fuck?!" Jasmine almost yelled as Jenna shoved her inside one of the dressing rooms in the set, while she tried to shut the other actress up. "Thank god someone's paying that poor girl's college."

"This is not fucking funny, Jasmine. I shouldn't have told you." Jenna locked the door behind her, looking at her apprehensively. She made a terrible mistake by telling Jasmine what went on last night. "And now they expect me to work with her? After I-"

"Seen her dick? Oh god, what will be of you?" The black girl laughed, while sitting down on the couch. "Chill, alright? She probably doesn't even know you donated. I mean, what was your username?"

Jenna gulped. "I don't wanna say it."

"Come on, was it that obvious??" Jasmine rolled her eyes, waiting for an answer.

"It was my first name then the first four digits of my birthday."

"I cannot fucking believe you."

Living in New York wasn't easy. Every apartment was obnoxiously expensive, so you had to resort to leave the city and start living in Brooklyn. It was a nice neighborhood, the best you could afford if we're being completely honest. Moving to the big city was by far the best and the worst decision you've ever made. Other than starting college, obviously.

I mean, you loved every second of it, but it started to fuck your financial life right up the ass.

"You should create an Only Fans or something." You almost spit the whiskey shot you were drinking right back to your cup, looking at your friend as if she just told you that she had killed three men with a needle. "I'm serious, (Y/N). Do you know how much money you can get just by posting out some feet pics, or whatever?"

"I'm not gonna sell pictures of my feet for cash, Liana." She shook her head no while taking a sip of her Appletini.

"Then don't. Sell your dick pics, or livestream. Come on, I know how much you're struggling and you know you're putting that body to waste. What's the worse thing can happen?"

And she was right. You started out with just an account on that website, posting some pictures here and there; until one of your followers suggested livestreaming and said she would pay some good money just to watch you cum on your stomach (which obviously, she did). It happened so fast that, when you realized it, you were able to get yourself a better place right downtown, pay off your college debts and buy a professional video camera to shoot some amateur movies. And no, not the pornographic kind.

You wanted to be a director someday, but you were also really good with a camera; which is why you got the opportunity to work in the upcoming Scream movie as an assistant videographer (and because Liana put in a good word for you). It was your first real gig in your area of interest, you couldn't be more excited.

The first day was just like any other. You got to meet a few people and get a hold of the equipments you were going to use.

"Ay, (Y/N)! Come here for a sec!" Your boss, Dave, called your name while you were looking at one of the IMAX cameras, which you've never got the opportunity to film with. You realized he wanted to introduce you to some people, which he did. You just didn't expect it would be one of the protagonists (and the newest it actress of Hollywood). "It's a pleasure to meet you, Jenna."

You extended your hand for her to shake, which she did after looking at it for a couple of seconds, almost if she was analyzing you. "Nice to meet you too, (Y/N)."

And that was pretty much it, you guys didn't exchanged any other words besides that on that particular day. You even thought that she could be avoiding you, for whatever reason. All throughout the day, you felt her gaze on you multiple times, but everytime you looked at her, she just looked away.

"You're definitely not subtle." Jasmine whispered in Jenna's ear, while she watched you handle one of the camera films. "I'm pretty sure that she can physically feel your eyes on her butt as we speak."

"She's definitely gonna find out that I was on her stream last night." The Ortega took a deep breath, looking away when she realized you looked at her again.

"She's not, don't get paranoid. You have the most obvious and boring username ever? Yes. It would take just one Google search to figure out your identity? It would. But still!" Jenna got up from the chair she was sitting, realizing that all she wanted to do was to smoke this off.

"You're not helping, Jasmine." She took out her pack of Marlboro's and her lighter once she was outside. "I never even watched porn before, not even by myself."

"And now you donated $1500 to a complete stranger just so she could cum while moaning your name. That's a character development." Jasmine stood beside Jenna, who had just started smoking so she could even try to forget that she wanted to sit on her coworker's dick less than 24 hours ago.

"I'm never doing that again, Jasmine. It's inhumane and gross. It was the first and the last time."

jenna2709: thought about you a lot today.

"Oh, did you? Good to hear that." She locked the door behind her and sat on her bed. That was Jenna's, at least, 10th day of watching your streams nonstop. And she had just "caught" you in the beginning of your livestream (which meant that she had the notifications of your page on and was too much of a chicken to admit it). So that meant that you weren't even undressed yet, you were just rubbing your dick over your sweatpants and chatting a litte bit with your followers before you started your actual show. "What exactly were you thinking of, huh?"

jenna2709: of me sucking your cock under this table while you tell me how much of a good girl i am.

Jenna realized what she said after she already sent the message. Where did that came from? She thought while looking intensely at the livestream, hoping you would just stop with the teasing and take your cock out of your pants for her to see (and drool). "Oh baby, I'm sure you're very good with your mouth. Wanted to cum right on your throat and make you swallow every drop."

jenna2709: i would be honored to be your cum dump.

"Okay, I crossed the line." She took a deep breath, not even recognizing who was that person inside of her, the person that would say the most obscene and erotic shit that she ever heard. It was almost if something awakened inside of her everytime she saw you. Every couple of days, at exactly 10PM, she would lock herself in her hotel bedroom and fuck her pussy so deep until she passed out from having like, five orgasms. And that was the easy part, obviously. The hardest part was definitely waking up in the morning and having to look at you as if she didn't saw your dick inside of a fleshlight the night before.

Jenna grew up christian. In a american dream type of household. But getting in touch with Hollywood and all of the film industry made her get out of her bubble and quite literally, discover the world. She drank, she smoked, she went to 2AM parties at some A-List celebrity's house that she never even met before. But sex? Never sex. She met a few people here and there, but nothing further. It made her think about that, the fact that she couldn't even be interested enough in someone to actually have some sort of contact with them; but with you, she would stay all night thinking about you fucking her raw and senseless until she couldn't remember who she was.

"Stop teasing, Jenna. We both know you were born to be my cum dump, and mine only." You were so horny imagining having that stranger on her knees while she had her mouth open, waiting for you to dump your cum inside of her pretty little throat. You took your cock out of your pants, a little bit earlier than you've expected, but you were getting so worked up that you didn't even thought about your stream routine. You started to stroke the member gently, feeling your dick pulsate right on the palm of your hand. "I know that you're the only one who can take care of this right, don't you think?"

jenna2709: if you were mine, i would make you cum on my pussy everyday.

Jenna started to get scared. Who was this person that was hiding inside of her? Was she really like that? Is she the female version of Christian Grey and doesn't know it yet? How the fuck she got so horny all of a sudden?

She knew that the reason you were playing that little game with her was merely money. But there was a part of her, a tiny part that hoped that you felt attracted to her as much as she felt to you. Even if you'd never seen her face, or her body. It didn't mattered if she had just met you a couple of days ago; she wanted you to want her, the same way she wanted you.

"And if you were mine, I would carve my name on your belly so everyone would know who you belong to." Oh yes, the knife play.

Jenna wasn't naive or innocent, she knew about fetishes and BDSM practices; and thankfully there was the option of marking your kinks on your own profile when you created your account. The actress spent an embarrassing amount of time researching some of your kinks that were listed on your profile (there was so many things she didn't even knew existed, to be completely honest). And the thought of you doing all of those things with her got her aroused in a matter of seconds.

jenna2709: you could carve your name on my face, for all i care.

jenna2709: i would definitely want people to know that i'm yours.

The rest of the livestream went as usual, you doing all of the things that your subs asked you to, Jenna being awarded as the number 1 tipper for the 5th time in a row, nothing out of the ordinary. You were just about to cum for the second time when Jenna tipped you again with a request.

Wow! "jenna2709" donated $2000 with the message: i want you to cum for me, again.

"You know I never decline your requests, baby. But, let's be fair this time around?" You answered, a little bit breathless, masturbating your cock as hard as you could. "I'll give you a private livestream if you show me your face."

Oh, a private livestream?

Jenna had been following your for awhile now ever since her first time watching your stream. She knew that private livestreams weren't something you did. And yet, you were here, offering one for free, just to see Jenna's face in return. It was a really good offer, but Jenna couldn't accept. If you found out who she was, the shooting would be the most awkward work experience for both of them. It would be like, "Hey, (Y/N)? Can you get this camera ready for me? Also, I've already seen your dick and I'm having wet dreams with you fucking me like the slut I am." So, she took one last breath after she decided to stick with her original plan and decline.

jenna2709: it's a deal.

[takerfoxx]

Okay.

I don't often gush about movies on this blog. Hell, I don't often go to the movies anymore. I just don't have the attention span for it. And I honestly was going to give this one a miss until someone who's opinion I trust was adamant that I needed to see this film right now on the biggest screen possible while I still had the chance. So, FOMO out won over, and I went to go see Godzilla Minus One in Imax.

...

Look, I've been a Godzilla fan practically all my life. My family used to rent those old english dubs of the films on VHS from Blockbuster in the early nineties. I grew up with these monsters. But I have to admit, I've never seen the original, nor have I seen Shin Godzilla. To me, Godzilla is about one thing and one thing only.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Gimme the big monsters just going HAM on each other. Rubber suits, CGI, I don't care! I want the big boys with beef to beef with a large side of cheese!

I guess that's why Godzilla 2014 ultimately left me feeling kind of cold while I absolutely loved KOTM despite how stupid a lot of it was. I just want my big monsters absolutely wrecking shit.

This was different. I knew it was going to be different. A remake of the original Godzilla, this time from the viewpoint of the common citizens still trying to get their lives together after WW2? I knew I was in for some heavy drama.

What I didn't expect was one of the most amazing theater experience I have ever had.

And I'm not just saying that because the movie is good, even though it is.

I'm not just saying that because the movie is great, even though it is.

I'm not just saying that because it's a goddamn masterpiece, even though it is.

I'm saying that because it's about as close to perfect of a film as you can get, and not just of a Godzilla movie, but just as a movie!

Like, it's a running joke that you can cut the human characters out of any Godzilla movie. Here, you could cut Godzilla out and still have a great movie. That's how good the human side of things was.

Like, you really grow attached to these people who have literally lost everything. You grow invested in their struggles, in their relationships, in their baggage, in their love for one another. You come to care about them and are genuinely happy as they eke out a new life after having their homes literally blown to bits. You just want to see them succeed and be happy together.

And that's when Godzilla shows up.

This movie is called Godzilla Minus One in reference to how post-war Japan was basically a Zero Society, left devastated by the conflict. And these people who literally were left with nothing suddenly find even that ripped away as an enormous monster just starts rampaging through the recovering cities.

And this time, Godzilla isn't an avenging hero. He's not a destructive anti-hero. He's not a fun mascot. He's not even a poor, suffering monster unaware of the destruction that he's wreaking. This Godzilla is goddamn menace, an outright monster that is absolutely terrifying. He wants to crush, kill, and destroy. This is Godzilla at his most actively malicious, and all you can do is gape up in horror with these people that you've come to care so much about, wondering how in the hell are they supposed to deal with this!

I won't give away how the day is eventually saved, only to say that it is a masterclass of character-driven suspense and emotion. You honestly come to root for the humans for once. You want to see them succeed, and are genuinely in fear for their lives. No exaggeration, I had my heart in my throat and tears in my eyes all throughout the climax. I don't cry during movies, and this movie made me sob like a baby. It was that good.

And it also had so much to say! Not only about Japan's collective trauma following the nuclear bombs or the other bombing raids like the original, but also about how the Japanese government dehumanized its own people during the war, treating them as expendable resources to fuel the war machine. The main character is a freaking kamikaze pilot who lost his nerve and abandoned his mission, and that plus another act of what he saw as cowardice haunts him throughout the movie, and while it realistically shows how such a person would be treated like a pariah by his former friends and neighbors, it is nothing but sympathetic toward him. He blames himself constantly, but the narrative never seems to.

And there's just this wonderful moment near the end, when it's clear that the government isn't coming to the rescue, so it's up to the common man to band together and find a solution, when a few men leave the mission for fear of their lives and that of their families, and are not condemned for it. And the scientist spearheading the whole thing gives this lovely little speech about how carelessly life has been treated during the war, from the kamikazes to the poorly maintained supply chains to how the common folk were left to fend for themselves, and he hopes to just once be able to secure a win that doesn't sacrifice any more lives. Wow.

I know it's probably too late for anyone else to see it, because I'm pretty sure it's theatrical run ends today. I just wanted to get this review off my chest, because wow, this was the best movie I've seen all year. What a goddamn masterpiece.

[notsocheezy]

V-Day - The First Twenty-Four Hours

Guess who's got two thumbs and no penis? That's right, this girlish-shaped thing!

👍👍

My "the surgery" went off without a hitch! And it couldn't have happened at a weirder time. The news has been absolutely wild this week, hasn't it? Mass Windows system outages, Biden dropping out of the presidential race... probably some other stuff... I'll be honest, I'm a little woozy from the Oxycodone, so a lot of the past week escapes me at the moment. But let me tell you all about the first day. I still remember most of that.

I arrived at the hospital at about 5AM yesterday, and they had me wipe down with CHG wipes even though I'd just taken a CHG shower. I guess they like to be safe. But it leaves a residue that isn't the most pleasant thing in the world. It's kind of like when you step out of the ocean and the salt dries onto your skin in a fine, well-seasoned flaky layer.

After that, they gave me a morphine injection into my spinal fluid, which according to the pain management guy, reduces the overall necessary intake of opiates/opioids (what is the difference between those anyway?). So far that seems to be very true. My new bits don't hurt in the slightest even now, after the injection has worn off.

On the other hand, though, there has been excruciating pain in my chest and shoulders. You see, this was a laparoscopic surgery performed with a fancy robot - the DaVinci XI - and they had to pump me full of CO2 so they'd have room to work. That's right folks - I'm carbonated. And they didn't just give me one new hole, but an additional five incisions on my abdomen, which also don't really hurt but damn are they itchy. It turns out though, being a human balloon is a really bad experience. If I'd had an inflation kink before, this would probably have killed it in its tracks.

When I woke up in Recovery, I was at 10/10 on the pain scale. It was truly miserable. They had to inject me with Fentanyl (Ooooooh, scary!) just so I could breathe. Once they did, though, I was fine. That is, until they moved me onto the bed in my room several hours later. Now the pain comes and goes, but I'm on pills for that.

Other than the chest pain, the most uncomfortable thing is the catheter. It constantly feels like I've just gotten back from a long road trip without pit stops, or the credits just rolled on an IMAX screening of Oppenheimer (I saw that twice, by the way). I have to pee so damn bad, but I'm just kinda... always peeing. Very weird. Nice not to have to get up, but I'm not even really allowed to get up. Which is a shame, because I'm told moving around will help the CO2, ahem, escape. Via the most obvious channel, of course.

On that note, I was on a liquid diet until about an hour ago, and now I've got an omelet and some oatmeal that they forgot to put sugar or salt in. They really want to get my guts up and running again - they gave me a laxative and a stool softener. But I'm nervous about getting up from the bed. I've got more wires attached to me than my PC at home, so I'll need to unhook everything to get to the bathroom.

Anyway, other than being misgendered a concerning amount of times by people who should be able to read the word "vaginoplasty" on my chart, everyone has been very kind. I thought I'd be more scared and depressed being left in the hospital by myself, with all my loved ones hours away, but I've been able to make friends with the nurses.

If you're on the fence about getting this done because you're scared of the recovery process, don't worry. I'm only a day in and I'm doing just fine. Electrolysis was significantly more painful down there than this is. Can't speak for more traditional methods, but the robot is damn good. I, for one, welcome our new robotic sex-change overlords.

Anyway, stay tuned for more. I'm here all week.

[iantimony]

tuesday line go up (derogatory)

hello from the end of my workday. writing this on my office computer as i watch my simulation crash in real time in the background. convergence line go up :(

listening: astonishing legends the body on the moor part 1, for some reason astonishing legends is such good Cleaning And Organizing noise to my brain. i've raised my eyebrow at some of their conclusions sometimes but i love a good unsolved mystery that doesn't focus on true crime what i can say

more 00s, just whatever shit the spotify algorithm spits out basically..."hard and heavy headbanging tuesday afternoon". i think for brevity i am going to focus on posting only the things that stuck out to me or are ear worms at the moment, which for this week is miss murder by afi, the kill by 30 seconds to mars, and out of control by hoobastank, especially the line in the latter after the chorus that goes 'and i may never know the answer to this endless mystery' that for some reason tickles my brain.

reading: Bring Back Those Pumped Italian Sodas (Anna Hezel): i LOVE italian sodas. the candy shop on main street near me does italian sodas and it is my favorite little treat to do a hot girl walk downtown and get a little bevvy to come with me. they whip so hard. bring them back everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!

elitism is the enemy of the people (Mina Le) and the linked The machine in the garden. (Emily Sundberg) ... discourse(tm) about What Substack Is For, which means nothing to me as a non-substack user. i use a rss reader to follow a few specific substacks but i do not use the platform even a little bit. sundberg seems to disparage the list format (shoutout to miss deb perelmen who i saw in there as an example of things that are pushed on the platform now) (deb's newsletter is one of the ones i follow with my rss feed lol) slash the concept of "list of content I’m consuming" which. looks at my weekly roundup posts. lol. i do understand to an extent, though - does my weekly roundup post make me a Writer(tm)?? i would kinda agree that no not really.

this zine that i think i reblogged yesterday is very cute.

watching: i saw the new alien movie with a friend! it was really good, i enjoyed it, i did look up the jumpscares beforehand because i do not do well with those in theaters especially the big imax ones, but it ended up not being necessary - the local theater here has no imax or any of the big surround sound gimmick things, which i actually prefer, and it also means the tickets were dirt cheap. 10/10 experience. the movie itself was fun, the correct amount of peen/vag imagery that one would expect from an alien movie. important to note that the dehumanization of an android character (who is also the only black character and strongly autism coded) is a big plot thing, it is not Good that he is treated that way and that is also a plot thing but it is important to know going in so it's not a surprise (thanks to someone in a server i'm in for pointing that out, i didn't clock it as being potentially triggering when i saw it but i was like ohh yeah that does make sense to warn people about). really good cast and plot overall, there was only like one point where i was like "whyyy nooo that makes no sense, why would you do that" (without too much spoiling, the gravity turns on and off in a portion and they were just. zooming up an elevator shaft using the lack of gravity. like why would you not be staying near the ladder. you KNOW it's going to turn off at some random point. anyways), but in general the decisions the characters made were really reasonable which made it very fun to watch the consequences of like, yeah, that is also the choice i would have made, shit. the ending made me go EUGH!! in a good way. lots of good easter eggs that i probably missed some of. made me weirdly nostalgic for my dad because when i was growing up he had a life-size hyper-realistic rubber facehugger model. he used to mime getting attacked by it. my mom hated that fucking thing. it must have gotten thrown out or given away at some point. anyways, as the kids would say: it's kino

thank u celestialtourguide for ur dropout login xoxo, i have been watching a lot of 'make some noise'. i love how sometimes you can hear the crew laughing in the background.

youtubesphere:

jimmy robins: The Fallout of Watcher's Betrayal, what sparked me looking more at dropout. also found out from the comments section that sam reich is son of robert reich ??? wild

finished the george r r martin problem. basically: yeagh

dangelo wallace: not gonna link em all but his videos on chapell roan, katy perry, blake lively, and starbucks. pop culture updates that mean nothing to me. good background noise tho

mina le: underconsumption-core, travel outfits, and Paul Mescal’s shorts, the luxury of privacy & the celebrity vs. influencer paradox. my boyfriend is a proponent of the tiny inseam shorts and i wholly encourage it. more of that, please, from everyone.

made in the moment: My Crafty Boston Apartment Tour. as someone who is also just moved into my own apartment alone for the first time and is in the process of making the space feel like mine, this hits interestingly.

playing: dnd as normal. i finally got to go mask-off, was replaced by a doppleganger like six months ago and finally got to pop off and kill some guys and beat the shit out of my friends lol >:b i have also moved the game that i run to biweekly instead of weekly. i just have too much fucking things happening and dm burnout real.

making: evil eye coasters! these made me very nervous because of how streaky the underglaze is! so i did the tedious task of re-coloring in around my sgraffito lines of my [redacted] coasters. clear coated them and crossing my fingers. these coasters are also too thin, two of them are too warped to use as coasters so ill have to figure out what to do with them. maybe drilling a hole (carefully...) so i can hang them up somewhere? the [redacted] coasters are like twice the thickness so i don't think they'll be warped as bad thankfully.

i also. made. mesopotamian foot bowl :) i did not have a reference image at the time because that happened to be when the t mobile towers went down for a few hours last saturday so i kinda just freeballed it but he looks. so silly i love him. i think im gonna have to modify him, i was chatting with the studio owner about it and she was like "if you threw that bowl on a wheel you should hollow the legs out, wheel pottery twists slightly as it dries and that plus the drying rates being different will make them just pop right off", which, i can always glue them back on! but i should give him the best odds possible. bonus lil tushy

i made a BIG BOWL !! it's not really clear from the image but it's the most clay i've ever thrown at once, i think it's like. 2.5 lb?? i didn't actually weigh it first oops i should weigh it. but it's like a foot across at the top. i put it on little ball feet to use as some sort of display bowl i think.

and there's one more bowl that is really unremarkable so no picture for now.

fiber art: made a fucking. magic the gathering card cozy for a friend that my local mtg group is putting together a care package for. it's so fucking stupid i love it. not gonna post a pic of the front, it's just a dark red border to hold the card in. i might outline the swamp symbol with matching embroidery floss (or maybe navy??) to make it pop more, might also sew a small square of fabric on the inside to hide the loose ends. colors were chosen to match his main commander which is braids

eating: FINALLY finished the gyudon. um . didn't cook many more recipes. i was going to do one pot chicken meatballs with greens and deb smittenkitchen's corn bacon and parmesan pasta last night but i spent two hours wandering walmart like my ancestors wandered the desert and came home and just had leftovers lol. the cooking will commence......today after i post this and go home.

misc: the midwest is hot this week! fml! on the plus side i don't think my average energy bill in my new place will be worse than my old one despite the worse insulation based on the mid-cycle energy report email i got, on the minus side now i am not splitting that cost so technically it feels more expensive :( thankfully i have finally been finishing the process of closing my dad's accounts so i will have a little padding in my bank account, plus i think i am supposed to get the fellowship i won deposited soon?? shrug. i booked some flights using credit card points that in retrospect i should have booked with Money because of that fellowship but oh well. i am still in the Everything Is So Expensive stage of moving as i finish getting furniture and miscellaneous home goods, hence the two hour walmart wander yesterday. i still need a couch. i think i am getting a frat house walmart futon for like $150 just because it's space efficient and won't break the bank and will be easy to sell when i move out. i should probably order that before i go visit home for 3 weeks ...... anyways. that's this tuesdaypost done and dusted.

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (November 19-25)

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters remains must-see kaiju TV with its third episode. The flashbacks revisit the U.S. attempt to kill Godzilla with an H-bomb in 1954, making a few retcons to the 2014 film that I think are largely for the better. This might be the Monsterverse Godzilla work that best understands it's adapting a Japanese story. There's also a delightful new critter who shows up at the end of the main story and will surely continue to be a threat in the next installment. On the human side of things, we're starting to see how Monarch became more and more obsessive about secrecy over the decades, paralleled with the infidelity at the heart of the story.

Justice League vs. Godzilla vs. Kong #2 delivers the Superman/Godzilla fight that's probably what people most wanted out of this crossover. I was surprised at how well Godzilla did, although it wasn't quite a clean victory. Camazotz's duel with the Bat-Family in Gotham City was more interesting, as bizarre as it is to see some of the most famous superheroes in the world taking on a Titan who's never even been in a movie before. Meanwhile, Scylla's in Central City and Behemoth's closing in on Themyscira. Odd choices considering Scylla's Greek name, but then I can't see her doing well against Wonder Woman.

As is New Generation Ultra Series tradition, Ultraman Blazar will be quickly followed by a movie (Tokyo Kaiju Showdown) released early next year (February 23). Most of these things are pretty forgettable, but director Kiyotaka Taguchi was also behind the Ultraman X movie, which I thought was one of the best ones. The plot:

A wave of kaiju emerges from an industrial zone, prompting Capitan Gento and the Special Kaiju Reaction Detachment (SKaRD) to engage in the relentless battle. Yet despite their efforts, the endless kaiju attack continues. Suspecting a link to Necromass Co., an advanced chemical company that researches kaiju corcasses and owns factories in the industrial zone, SKaRD rushes to the company’s CEO and renowned chemist, Dr. Mabuse. At Necromass Co.’s research facility, Dr. Mabuse explains the development of the damudoxin, a substance on the brink of achieving immortality. Meanwhile, Alien Damuno, who claims themselves as the “ruler of the universe” appears! Chaos ensues when damudoxin leaks from the destroyed tanks, consuming samples of kaiju carcasses and giving rise to the giant Gongilgan, the Demonic Carcass. Set in Tokyo, the capital of Japan, Ultraman Blazar and SKaRD clash in a showdown against the giant kaiju!

This year's Ultraman Decker movie was available to rent on Tsuburaya Imagination the same day it released in Japanese theaters, so I'd expect the same from the Blazar movie.

I'm typing this hours before I see Godzilla Minus One in IMAX. The date crept up on me, but I can feel every atom in my body vibrating right now, so yeah, almost time for the new Godzilla movie. High hopes with the reviews it's getting!

[serafilms]

(tbosas movie spoilers!!!) i think the worst part of tbosas for me was that coriolanus was right??? all those offhanded little comments he made 'on a whim' to try and 'help the tributes' and in turn save himself were right and it's horrifying to realise that he didn't need to try to think of them and try to be like his father bc he already was. from an audience perspective, i sat through the whole arena part of the movie disgusted by everything happening in it and begging for it to be over (it didn't really get better after all that but oh well). the deaths were more gruesome, the arena more terrifying and everything felt too real (i also watched it in imax idk if that helped). not that the deaths in thg and catching fire games weren't horrific, but in an offhanded movie fan way, i used to look forward to the arena. because it became exactly what dr gaul wanted it to be and what coriolanus realised it was and what lucy gray made it: a performance. in the 65 years after, they made the arenas interesting and real and natural and beautiful, with weapons and mutts and gifts and places to hide and places for open bloodshed, they interfered with the games to help and then kill their tributes (sound familiar? yeah thanks a lot coriolanus u bitch) and it was literally the most harrowing thing to sit there and watch the movie as i realised that it was entertaining to me to watch the first two movies because of that. we are no better than the citizens of the capitol and i just think that sucks.

[callmearcturus]

ARCHIE. just indulged my mom's tom cruise obsession by watching dead reception in imax and oh MAN i can see why you like these. indulge me. is your main ship ethan/benji bc i am ALL over it, im also a big fan of the ethan/benji/luther triad so if u got anything hit me UP

i am currently the gayest dyke in paris after seeing ilsa, grace, alana, AND that chick named paris (my favorite) all in succession so if u got any steamy shit for the ladies hmu also

gasp

LOTTIE

yes of COURSE i ship benji/ethan, oh my god lottie you NEEEEEED to watch Rogue Nation please you will DIE, the entire movie is the Ethan And Benji Show bc when Ethan is on the run and is being hunted by the CIA of course he calls his beloved Benji to help and Benji refuses to leave him, LOTTIE its so fucking good

THE CHICK NAMED PARIS IS ALSO MY FAVE but also i dunno how many ppl have seen the movie yet, i am hoping for a lot more with her, i love how Ethan did his usual bullshit and imprinted on her and it came back to save his ass

also WHY is ethan so attached to grace within like .5 seconds of meeting her. it's too platonic to be a boring het romance thing. is ethan just Like That. bless his soul

LOTTIE

ETHAN IS JUST LIKE THAT

THAT IS IN FACT THE MAJOR CHARACTER FLAW THAT MCQUARRIE (the writer/director) HAS BEEN BUILDING IN THE PAST FEW MOVIES. Ethan's fatal flaw is canonically, stated textually, that he cannot stop focusing on the One Person even when LITERALLY NUCLEAR APOCALYPSES are on the line. The entirety of Fallout is about this exact thing.

Like, this flaw of his was actively used by the villain of Rogue Nation to manipulate Ethan. the villain literally tells Ethan "yeah i killed this bystander you imprinted on bc i knew you would never get over it, lmao" its amazing how predictable he is

I LOVE HIM HE'S A FUCKIGN MESS. also his origin story from the first movie is he was being groomed to be a team leader but then his mentor went turncoat and killed Ethan's entire team, he's sooooo traumatized, Lottie

pls lottie watch Rogue Nation and Fallout, i promise they are good, i'm not just a weirdo, they're really good

[tygerbug]

INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY (2023) - A local carpenter and weed dealer who transitioned into bit-part acting in the 60s, Harrison Ford is now 80 years old, and still somehow unretired. Indiana Jones, meanwhile, is supposed to be about seventy. The equivalent would be if Indy's father, Sean Connery, was still playing James Bond in 2010. I'd say that Ford (and by extension all Boomers and above) should step aside and let someone like Chris Pine, Ryan Gosling or James Marsden make a movie like this, but we'd probably get Chris Pratt, Jared Leto, or Shia LeBoeuf instead, so I'll just have to let it slide. This time.

With a $294.7 million budget (Raiders of the Lost Ark cost 20 million in 1980), a large amount of CGI has been employed, along with green screen, stunt doubling, deepfaking, de-aging, and Phoebe Waller-Bridge, to make it seem like Harrison Ford is still a viable action hero. To be clear, he absolutely is too old for this, and it is absolutely a bad idea to make this movie. The $185 million "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" was an equally bad idea back in 2008, and it has somehow been 15 years since then.

I don't know if it's elder abuse or simply audience abuse to keep making these, but in both cases, an aging Harrison Ford is more engaged and interested in this role onscreen than he is in just about any other. 1982's Blade Runner gave us Harrison Ford in his prime, sleepwalking, disinterested and sullen. Now in 2023, Ford is visibly too old to be doing this CGI superhero bullshit, in a sequel that is forty years too little and too late, but he's committed to the role enough that he just about gets it to work. After a tepic reception at Cannes, the film is getting very good reviews and buzz, so I'll be the one to break from the pack and say that it doesn't work for me. Oh, no one involved embarrasses him or herself. Under the circumstances, it's a miracle that the movie is as good as it is. It's a bad idea that just about justifies its own existence.

A small caveat here: There may have been something wrong with the sound setup at the theater where I saw this. I couldn't understand a word being said for large chunks of the runtime, starting with a chaotic sequence in Morocco. But I don't think I actually missed anything. Maybe the sound mixing is just like that, Chris Nolan style. The opening sequence, with a younger Ford de-aged via CGI, was very dark and murky visually. In Imax, I could see the pixels on the screen, especially the bright white on black titles.

But I think the key problem for me is that I guess I don't like James Mangold as the director for this sort of thing. I haven't seen his full filmography, and he's clearly well regarded. But I have seen his dreary films about an aging Wolverine. 2013's "The Wolverine" sees the Hugh Jackman X-Men character travel to Japan and murder every single person he meets with his adamantium claws. At one point the female sidekick is mulching guys into paste with a snowplow. In 2017's Logan, he's older and unhappy about the situation, as he gets into danger with a child. These were, for me, examples of taking a superhero film way too seriously, as if gunning for the Oscar with a script that doesn't stand up to thinking about it for more than a minute or so. You wouldn't see a movie about Superman murdering a few thousand Japanese guys, because it's not a fair fight. "The Wolverine" (2013) wounds Logan just enough that he can plausibly act like the underdog, but he's a more-or-less immortal killing machine with knives coming out of his wrists.

It's hard to make a good film, and these films are polished, stylish, action-packed and memorable in many ways. But they also leave a bad taste in my mouth, comparable to the work of Zack Snyder. There's a lack of humanity to them. I could have predicted that in this Indiana Jones movie, Indy would constantly be murdering people, and that people would constantly be getting into accidents that kill them in horrific implied ways, and that the bad guys would kill any notable character that the plot isn't relying on.

That is what you get here, and admittedly it gives the film a certain energy. You don't get the sense that this is the cleaned-up Disney version of Indiana Jones, where everything is censored. You feel the danger. But it also forces me to be the party pooper and point out that this film lacks the magic that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas brought to the property. Steven Spielberg is hard to replace. He is the most famous and beloved film director of our time, and he has always brought an aura of wonder to the screen that other filmmakers can't really imitate … with only occasional exceptions like the uncanny valley animated "Tintin" film.

It's unfair to expect James Mangold to fully replace Spielberg, and under the circumstances I'm not surprised they went with a director who presumably considers his work to be Very Important Cinema. Mangold manages to deliver lots of action, and make it feel like "an Indiana Jones movie," when forty years later it probably shouldn't. But it's just not the same, for a lot of reasons.

Spielberg's Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) is an extremely tight two hours which works like clockwork. There's a lot of wit and character to it, but it's that precision filmmaking which makes many people call it "a perfect film." It doesn't slow down very often. It's always doing something interesting visually, and always moving forward. Every Indiana Jones film ever since has tried to recapture that.

We have a problem here, which is that an eighty (or seventy) year old Indiana Jones is more of a character role, who we could expect to talk about what he's learned over the years. And an Indiana Jones movie cannot slow down for something like that, even for a second. Or at least this movie can't. The script is also not funny enough to lend much character to the proceedings, so we don't get much sense of who these people are as they're speeding around on green screens at a hundred miles per hour. The end product is chaotic, often to the point of incoherence. Everyone is almost always moving at great speed, for reasons which aren't always adequately set up. To repeat, they're moving at great speed whether or not there is a good reason for them to be doing so. They are often on green screen, or visibly stunt doubled, and one of them is eighty years old.

There's also a lot of fighting on the tops of trains and from moving vehicles. Why do the bad guys take a wounded Indy along with them as they enact their entire plan? As far as I can tell, no reason is given, except that it's a movie and Indiana Jones needs to be there for it. Helena also manages to board the plane while it's in flight, and Teddy manages to get another plane going, for the reason that these are the characters who are in the film, and they need to be there for the end of it.

The script contradicts itself constantly, and feels like bits of different drafts were combined with one another randomly. Why is Indiana Jones teaching in July, preparing his students for mid-terms or finals, then also retiring in July on the same day? Why is he coincidentally teaching his disinterested class about the same subject that the film is about, when it's a touchy subject which secretly tore entire families apart in the film's backstory? Why do we keep meeting his close friends, that he's apparently spent decades with, for about two lines of dialogue before they get shot?

The result lacks character. As with the Crystal Skull film, stunt casting is used in place of giving us scenes that show who these characters are. I can believe that Antonio Banderas is a salty old scuba diver who has had many good times with Indiana Jones over the years. I can believe that because he's Antonio Banderas, but the film expects that to be enough for us, and gives him very little of interest to do. And Toby Jones' character, an academic who's not cut out for being an action hero, would be very uninteresting if it wasn't played by a character actor like Toby Jones. (Crystal Skull pulled similar shenanigans with Jim Broadbent, John Hurt, Ray Winstone, and Cate Blanchett.)

John Rhys-Davies shows up briefly as the returning character of Sallah, looking every day of his 79 years of age. I expect they wanted to keep any action with Rhys-Davies to a minimum, so we find him appearing in the movie for no real reason, except that this is an Indiana Jones movie and therefore he ought to be in it. I agree with that, but bringing these characters back one last time has an eerie David Lynch quality about it.

Mads Mikkelsen plays the memorable (if very standard) villain, a semi-retired Nazi called Dr. Voller. It's ideal casting, although it raises questions to have the 57-year-old actor playing the part in both 1944 and 1969. He is noticeably de-aged in the 1944 scenes, with a few less lines and wrinkles, but Harrison Ford manages to age 35 years in the same time (ten more than he ought to). A whole lot of CGI is used to give Indiana Jones one more adventure in 1944, and it's technically impressive, if still a bit noticeable and distracting. Toward the end of the sequence, a little too much of it takes place in the dark - not to hide the quality of the CGI but because movies tend to be too dark now.

Boyd Holbrook is memorable as a trigger-happy American who gives off Neo-Nazi vibes which aren't deeply explored. Ethann Isidore plays the sidekick, a thieving street rat kid called Teddy. Shaunette Renee Wilson plays a CIA agent, I think. Olivier Richters plays the guy who is 7 foot two. You know, I'm not sure that an 80 year old Indy and a 16 year old Teddy are really a match for this guy.

It is getting into spoiler territory to say that Karen Allen appears as Marion, although that won't surprise anyone either. It is definitely getting into spoiler territory to say what became of their relationship after the Crystal Skull film, and these are some of the only moments in the film where Harrison Ford really gets to act and lay out his character's backstory. I wish we'd gotten more of this. I've seen complaints about this storyline, saying it robs the character of a lot of his charm, and is too similar to plotlines in the Star Wars sequels, and the Blade Runner sequel. I can see that, but when sequels come this late, they really have to be about regret, and this storyline works better than anything else in the film. Although I couldn't help but think that this elderly couple began - in Raiders - with Marion punching her former Professor, who had clearly had an inappropriate relationship with her when she was a minor. The 30s were a different time, and so were the 80s. Marion's role is also very small here. It is crucial that she be present, but the film is not interested in exploring her character any more deeply than that.

We don't get Ke Huy Quan's Short Round, as his career only picked up this past year with a memorable role in Everything Everywhere All at Once. It's easy to imagine the character showing up in either Crystal Skull or this film as one of the leads, rather than these new characters, but that wasn't something they considered writing for the slightly embarrassing kid sidekick from "Temple of Doom." And speaking of embarrassing …

The "Crystal Skull" character of Mutt, played by Shia LeBoeuf, was covered in the press at the time as a character who could replace Harrison Ford in the Indiana Jones films, played by an up and coming young actor whose career was given a huge boost by the Spielberg seal of approval here, leading to the equally annoying character of Sam Witwicky in the Michael Bay Transformers films (the first in 2007). And yes, in the actual film, Shia LeBoeuf is deeply uncool and mostly just a nuisance.

Pretty much every male nerd of a certain age wanted, and still wants, to be "cool" like Indiana Jones. Any internet reviewer, of the Angry Video Game Nerd variety, will put on a complete Indiana Jones cosplay for their review of this film, as they did with Crystal Skull, and they'll think they're being slick with it. The leather jacket, the shirt, the hat, the whip. All clothing items that they already, apparently, had. Nobody wanted to be Shia LeBoeuf's Mutt Williams. He's got a 50s greaser look which doesn't suit him, making him look less like Marlon Brando than like Michael Cera's Wally Brando, from Twin Peaks. Indeed Cera might have been better in the role. Shia is a very reactive actor, and could theoretically have pulled off a Michael J. Fox type role which required that. But planting the idea that he could replace Indiana Jones nearly ruined his career here, because he very clearly doesn't have the necessary swagger. The movie itself even confirms this. In the end, Mutt picks up Indy's trademark hat, and Indy grabs it right back from him. This can be seen as a metaphor for how this series has gone, and also for how the Boomer generation, and older folks who came of age in the 60s and 70s, have refused to retire and let the younger generation take over for them.

Okay, so maybe Shia LeBoeuf was never going to replace Indiana Jones, a character originally offered to the hairy-chested Tom Selleck. But perhaps another actor could have. Harrison Ford seems iconic and irreplaceable now, but in the 70s he was a weed dealer and carpenter who did bit parts on the side. While it's fun to see Indiana Jones come back one last time, it's also a metaphor for Hollywood leaning back on successes from over four decades ago, and refusing to create anything truly new. Shia was set up to fail, because he looks and acts young in a movie that sees his youth as embarrassing. It didn't actually give us a "new Indiana Jones type," and Dial of Destiny doesn't either.

Shia LeBoeuf eventually left the Transformers franchise. We're told that he was killed off between films. And then there were the allegations, as his behavior, according to the newspapers, became ever stranger and more erratic. "FKA twigs Sues Shia LaBeouf, Citing ‘Relentless’ Abusive Relationship. The lawsuit, filed in Los Angeles by the musician, accuses the actor of sexual battery, assault and infliction of emotional distress."

Shia LeBoeuf does not appear in this film.

(ROT13 because of spoilers) Guvf vf npghnyyl n znwbe cybg cbvag. Zhgg Jvyyvnzf, yvxr Cbbpuvr ba Gur Fvzcfbaf, qvrq ba gur jnl onpx gb uvf ubzr cynarg, be engure va Ivrganz. Vg vf Vaqvnan Wbarf' terngrfg erterg gung ur qvqa'g fgbc Zhgg sebz rayvfgvat, naq vg qrfgeblrq uvf zneevntr. Ur gryyf hf gung Znevba jnf ybfg va ure tevrs, ohg vg vf irel pyrne yngre ba gung Vaql jnf gur bar jub tbg ybfg. Ubjrire, gur cybg bs gur svyz nyfb tvirf Vaql gur pyrneyl-fgngrq bccbeghavgl, ivn gvzr geniry cbjref, gb vagresrer va gvzr naq fnir Zhgg sebz qlvat. Gur svyz arire fybjf qbja ybat rabhtu gb tvir Vaql gvzr gb npghnyyl qb guvf, ohg jr pbhyq nyfb pbapyhqr gung Vaql ernyvmrf gung ur unf gur cbjre gb oevat Zhgg onpx sebz gur qrnq, naq pubbfrf abg gb qb fb. Haqrefgnaqnoyr, unir n avpr qnl.

V ernyyl gubhtug jr'q trg gjb Vaqvnan Wbarfrf gubhtu. V gubhtug gung'f jul gurl jrer frggvat hc gur gvzr geniry ryrzrag naq gur qr-ntrq Vaql ng gur ortvaavat. V gubhtug gung jr jrer tbvat gb ybbc nebhaq naq trg zber jvgu obgu Vaqvrf. V jnf abg rkpvgrq nobhg jung jr npghnyyl tbg.

I have not yet mentioned the rest of the plot, which involves the Greek mathematician Archimedes and is stupid. At one point there is a dull scuba-diving sequence where Indy is attacked by equally dull CGI eels. At another point we get the welcome return of the red line on a map which marks which country Indiana Jones is going to next.

There's also the matter of Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who wrote and starred in Fleabag on the stage in 2013, and on television in 2016 and 2019. Her character is equal parts charismatic and off-putting, attractive and reprehensible. (Phoebe also appeared in "Broadchurch," contributed to "James Bond 007: No Time to Die" and created Crashing and Killing Eve.) Despite a strong outing in Fleabag, it took Lucasfilm some time to do anything interesting with her. Her voice role as feminist android L3-37 in "Solo: A Star Wars Story" (2018) is baffling. It may have made more sense before rewrites and reshoots replaced directors Lord & Miller with Ron Howard. But it also runs afoul of a recurring problem in Star Wars, which is that droids seem to be fully developed, intelligent, sentient beings, who are never treated as if they're deserving of human rights. Star Wars never deals with this in any meaningful way, and it's an exposed electrical wire that they often get tripped up on, especially in animated television shows like The Clone Wars.

Anyway, I think this movie, the Dial of Destiny, has a problem with women. There are a lot of characters in this movie that aren't deeply explored or explained, but none of them quite like Helena Shaw, played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Unless I missed something during all the dialogue I couldn't understand, this doesn't feel like an actual consistent character. It feels like several very different characters from several very different drafts of several very different movies, all stapled together more or less randomly.

The performance is fine - Phoebe Waller-Bridge is charismatic and delivers every line with a wink and a twinkle. Her character is also just deeply insane, and her motivations never make sense. She is also, I think, playing an entirely different character by the end of the film, who is a more traditional hero, and expecting us to believe that she's been playing that character the entire time. As with her character in Solo, this should probably be funny, but isn't, because it's not written to be funny or make very much sense. Helena is, depending on the scene, the puppetmaster in charge of the entire adventure, or coming along reluctantly and making it up as she goes. She is also, depending on the scene, only in it for the money, or very deeply invested in this academic mystery and adventure. She is ready to sell off the Dial of Destiny to pay off gambling debts, because it's either the most meaningful thing in the world to her, or not meaningful at all. Sometimes she's a straightforward hero, or sidekick to the hero. She is also just deeply insane and often untrustworthy, going goblin mode in a way that may have been funny or interesting in a different draft of this script.

It is likely, considering her repeated lines that she's "in it for the money," that they intended Helena to be similar to Harrison Ford as Han Solo. But I think this movie has a problem with women, and failed to write her as a complete person with motivations that make sense. There is one scene in Greece where, to test how a location echoes, Helena starts shout-singing Beethoven's Fifth. Phoebe plays this a little bit wacky, so this feels like the setup for some comedic banter, probably with Indy being annoyed by this. But he just goes along with it and does the same. Helena Shaw is an eccentric performance in search of a better script which would actually explain what she's doing, or make it funnier.

The character clearly has a sense of humor, and is carrying a lot of trauma, and has a lot going on in her backstory, and none of it matters. This could have been a journey where her character changes over the course of the adventure, and maybe they think that's what they accomplished here. It feels more, to me, like this is four different characters held together by one performance.

The character we get as a result is acceptable, and at least she doesn't have the weight of having to possibly replace Indiana Jones, which made Mutt Williams so worrying. But it's also a character delivered with a wink to the audience, and another wink to Indiana Jones himself, as if this is all one grand joke that we're all in on. At no point was I in on this joke, so that didn't work for me. Throughout the film she does things that could easily cause the death of the very elderly Indiana Jones, as well as herself, and it just never matters because this script was rewritten a thousand times and has inconsistent internal logic.

Early scenes in the film set Indy up as a man out of time in a changing world, an interesting character note which is largely forgotten once he puts that hat back on, something he only does because it's an Indiana Jones movie and that's what Indiana Jones wears. For all of the film's chaotic, frenetic action, it's at its best when it's about an old man complaining about his life. There's a brief scene where Indy complains to Helena about the state of his body, and this angle really is curiously underexplored in The Dial of Destiny. At 80 years old, Harrison Ford is not a young action hero. This has become, whether Lucasfilm likes it or not, a character actor part. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is also performing Helena as more of a character-actor part. So I think this could have been a better movie than it is if they stopped pretending that this is an Indiana Jones movie and let it go completely off the rails and become a disaster. Like when a Sam Raimi or David Lynch film loses interest in what it's supposed to be doing, and pursues something more nonsensical for awhile. I think that would be better than what we got. I don't think the Dial of Destiny is bad, but I question all of the cultural decisions that led it to be made in the first place.

Does Indiana Jones, even at eighty, deserve one last hurrah? Sure, but we all deserve one last hurrah and we don't usually get them. If you wanted to make this movie, the time to do so was in the 1980s, or 90s if Ford was interested then.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade came out in 1989. (Remember "It belongs in a museum!" "So do you!") It was intended as the last hurrah for an aging Indiana Jones, and we've now gotten three of those, which is more than the two movies that preceded it, both of which purport to be Indiana Jones' first adventure. If you take into account the Young Indiana Jones TV series, all of Indiana Jones' live action adventures are either his first ever adventure, or his last ever adventure. Sometimes they're both - Last Crusade has a Young Indiana Jones segment (the weakest part of the film), Dial of Destiny has a Relatively Young Indiana Jones segment, and The Young Indiana Jones has Indy as a one-eyed old man. Or at least it did; George Lucas has cut those scenes from re-releases. At least we get one episode in season 5 where a bearded 1993 Harrison Ford plays the saxophone.

That wasn't what we wanted either; we wanted Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis in 1993. The Indiana Jones film series was based on older adventure movies whose influence is, I think, nowhere to be found in the new film. Those films were probably familiar to audiences in 1981 but unfamiliar to even the filmmakers in 2023. Enough time has passed that many other series trying to recapture the Indiana Jones formula have come and gone. We've had The Mummy series. We've had multiple Lara Croft Tomb Raiders. We've had multiple Scrooge McDucks. Everyone is trying to capture that sense of old-fashioned adventure with a little comedy, and they're usually better at the comedy than Dial of Destiny is.

Full disclosure: I don't think Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull is as bad as its reputation, or at least I didn't when I saw it in theaters in 2008. I've not bothered with it since. As I recall, I was invited to see it in Los Angeles, with a friend from high school and his friend group. We couldn't all get tickets together, so I was separated. I was in either another row, or in another theater entirely. After the show, they greeted me with sarcastic feigned enthusiasm, saying "Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull rocks!" and high-fiving me. I hadn't especially liked the film either, but soon realized that I'd made a complete fool of myself, in their eyes, by having any opinion about it more complicated than "wow, that was complete garbage."

Folks, Harrison Ford was 66 years old at the time. It was two decades late to be as good as "The Last Crusade." Steven Spielberg and George Lucas had both gone to some weird places in their careers, and George's contribution was always going to include some peculiar story beats and very obvious CGI. It was about aliens.

The writers included David Koepp, who as far as I could tell is a terrible writer who was often paid a lot of money to write films that turned out very good in spite of him. David Koepp was also a writer of The Dial of Destiny. It's hard to tell, from a finished film, whether the actual screenplay was well written or not. People in Hollywood know this - that a bad movie can come from a good script, and that sometimes they know enough to judge a writer for that script rather than that film. David Koepp is credited for writing films that I like, so I might wonder why I was so convinced he's not a good writer. But those movies were mostly based on strong IP which did a lot of the work for him. It felt like Panic Room and War of the Worlds (2005) succeeded in spite of their screenplays. And what about the Johnny Depp thriller Secret Window (2004)? Show me what he can do without Steven Spielberg to clean up his messes.

Anyway, my expectations were not that high for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. I wasn't expecting something as good as Raiders or Last Crusade. I was expecting an elderly Harrison Ford, with a pretty bad script, and pretty obvious CGI, that would be trying to look like a vintage adventure visually but be easily dated to 2008 throughout. Dated before it was even released. I expected some distracting casting, of recognizable famous faces. I expected that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas would both be so successful now, and so deeply into their own individual eccentricities, that they wouldn't have been able to agree on what this movie should actually be, and that it would show.

I think it was a bad idea to have made that movie. I expected, more or less, what we got. And Steven Spielberg happens to be a great director who gave us, under these unusual circumstances, some of that Spielberg magic.

That magic is not present in The Dial of Destiny. As a movie, The Dial of Destiny is reasonably well made. It's action-packed. There is some obvious CGI, but it's trying to do things which are very difficult and expensive to do, like de-aging Harrison Ford or a cartoonish parade for the Apollo 11 astronauts.

Dial of Destiny is an okay movie. A lot of people are saying it's better than The Crystal Skull. I don't think The Crystal Skull is as bad as people are saying, and I don't think Dial of Destiny is as good as people are saying. I don't think either are fully successful in what they're trying to do. Indiana Jones really was too old for this, and Hollywood could have let some writer come up with a new idea instead.

I think it was a bad idea to have made both of these movies. I'm not sorry I watched them, because I'm old enough to be nostalgic for the property, but I also think they're trying to recapture something which they would have struggled to recapture forty years ago. I think, under the circumstances, both movies are pretty good and have some pretty good stuff in them.

I am also begging, begging, begging Hollywood to stop making movies like this.

These sequels that come twenty, thirty, forty years late. We watch them because they're familiar, but we don't need Indiana Jones, we need the next thing that could be as big as Indiana Jones. There won't be a sequel to the Dial of Destiny forty years from now, with a 120 year old Harrison Ford. Or maybe there will, because Hollywood wants to keep repeating itself. And we'll all be dead or dying from climate change by then, so what does it even matter?

I love slop, I love garbage. Pour it into my mouth.

[romancomicsblog]

Movie Redo: Fixing the MCU's Illuminati

While I was a fan of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, one aspect of the film I was the least impressed with was the execution of the Illuminati, a Marvel "Team" from the comics full of some of the leaders of the Marvel universe.

The Team works behind the scenes for bigger picture problems effecting the superhuman world. As the leaders of the Fantastic Four, The Inhumans, The Avengers, The X-Men, Atlantis, and The Sorceror Supreme, they often make decisions, with the best of attentions, from places of privilege, and often make the wrong call.

While the team in the MCU does appear to lie to the public about Doctor Strange's death, and appear to control an Ultron Army, they do not appear to be as morally grey as the team we see in the comics. They're basically that universe's Avengers, which is a disservice to the team.

I'd like to pitch some small changes to the people who were chosen to be a part of the Illuminati and some choices in the film that were made to better represent the team and make the movie more interesting.

Motivation

The Illuminati in the film capture Strange in order to stop him from causing another incursion and are trying to figure out what to do with him and America Chavez. While they are hinderances, they are not exactly villains or heroes in the film. While they should not be on Wandas side, they absolutely need to be villains.

A small and simple change should be they are using Strange as bait, and are trying to extract Americas powers themselves in order to kill Wanda and Multiversal threats in the future. They see their "utopia" as the right way of living, and hope to expand their peace across dimensions.

This bold and insane goal is exactly the type of arrogant, terrible and small minded plan the Illuminati should be doing.

Who do we keep?

While I love all of these actors, for the betterment of this story, we need to change up some things.

I believe because the role they play in comics, the Illuminati are the only team I can think of that needs to be all White and all Men. All of them come from places of privilege, all of them are in positions of power, and are short sighted due to their lack of different experiences.

Immediately, Captain Marvel, Captain Carter, and Baron Mordo are gone. I also think Krasinski adds nothing, and so I'd like him gone too.

Patrick Stewart as Professor X is a good inclusion and should stay as is, though he needs to be more villainous.

Black Bolt is by far my favorite inclusion of the crew, every detail down to his death. Needs to stay. Shoutout to everyone like me who saw Inhumans in IMAX.

Whole roles need to be filled?

As we have the leader of the X-Men and Inhumans, we should run through the other types of members of the team in order to narrow down picks and actors. We'll need a leader of a space team, a sorcerer, a king, and a leader of the Avengers.

While this does narrow down the team members, we have wiggle room with the multiverse and MCU actors. While I didn't love this team, clearly whoever chose it had some fun creative ideas. I want to emulate that.

We also need to think of visually different people for Wanda to fight and destroy. They need to be powerful enough to make it a fight but in the end overpowered and killed due to their own arrogance.

Leader of the Avengers - James Barnes AKA Captain America

While I don't love Krasinski as Mr. Fantastic, one thing I did love about it was it gave a lot of fans what they've been asking for.

While I love Sam Wilson as Captain America and he is the right choice for it, a lot of fans, including myself, did also want Bucky to take on the mantle. While we won't see that happen anytime soon, I think giving Sebastian Stan his version of the costume in this movie would've made a lot of fans really happy.

Bucky will lead a much more brutal Avengers, which is more of a military force. I'm imagining in this universe darker versions of hand to hand combat fighters like Daredevil, Moon Knight, and Shang-Chi.

Making him a darker version of Cap would also cement why Sam was the right choice for the role. Plus, who doesn't love more Sebastian Stan?

King of Latveria - Victor Von Doom AKA Doctor Doom

Taking up the place of Namor and sort of Reed, we are bringing back Julian McMahon as Victor Von Doom.

Doom will be the tech specialist of the team and the funder of the team. Instead of Ultron bots, headquarters will be manned and Defended by Doom bots. This will be an underpowered version of the character who still uses electricity and technology.

I think this will be a fun easter egg for older fans, and give a good actor a second chance at an excellent character. If Toby Kebbell is preferred, that's cool too. But I think people prefer the classics.

Leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy: Peter Quill AKA Star-Lord The Living Planet

Who better to face Wanda than another being that control reality?

Serving as the Illuminati's Doctor Manhattan would be Star-Lord, now a full celestial.

After Rocket Raccoon found a way to drain Ego of his power, Star-Lord became a living god. After using that power to defeat villains like Thanos, Hela, Gorr, and other cosmic threats, Star-Lord brought piece to his galaxy, and kept his operatives in key points in the Galaxy to ensure peace.

Star-Lord will be much less human than he has ever been portrayed, isolated in his cosmic abilities.

Much like Captain Marvel was, Star-Lord will be the last one standing, obviously the biggest threat to Wanda. In the end, she will destroy his planet, turning Peter into dust.

Sorcerer Supreme - Quentin Beck AKA Mysterio

The inclusion of Mordo was fun, but it did not think big enough.

Having a villain of the MCU be the new Sorcerer Supreme, it should be someone we do not expect, and neither does Strange.

In this universe, after being fired from the Baxter Foundation for their failed illusion technology, Quentin Beck traveled to Kamar-Taj and became the Sorcerer Supreme, basically having the same story Strange had.

Having a trickster like Beck now actually have magic would make him a dangerous enemy for both Strange and Wanda. I hope for a magic fight between the two that ends with Strange tricking Beck somehow, perhaps with a move he tried to pull on Peter Parker.

And that is the team.

Professor X, Black Bolt, Captain America, Doctor Doom, Star-Lord, and Mysterio feel like the right mix of abilities, chaos, MCU lore and comic lore that would get fans excited. This is the type of team I want Wanda to absolutely slaughter.

If only Marvel called me a couple of years ago.

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to support me, check out my socials here!

[ifuckinglovedinosaurssomuchjesus]

Just got back from Godzilla X Kong!

First off, just a warning, there are some intense scenes of strobing lights and sound so be prepared if you have epilepsy. Likewise, it is a constant stream of loud sounds and colors with many fast cuts and no room to breath, which means my autistic ass got extremely overstimulated in the IMAX theater and had to cover my eyes and plug my ears at times to calm myself down, so be prepared for that too.

Now, on to my rambly and mildly spoilery first impressions under the cut.

Like I said, this movie has absolutely zero room to breathe. They sliced away every millisecond they could to keep the runtime below two hours and it translates into a film that just not shut up. It's like every scene lasts 30 seconds, even the kaiju battles are so quickly cut that it feels like this gif:

That being said, the actual story when you think about it, before the searing stream of action melts your brain, is very good. It's about how your home is your family, and that's paralleled in both Kong's story and the human story. Jia and her mom are the heart of the film and they've easily become some of my favorite human characters in the Monsterverse.

I'm not sure how to articulate my thoughts the best, so I guess I'll just talk about each of the kaiju and how I felt about them.

Despite getting top billing, Godzilla just straight up does not matter in this movie. It's %100 Kong's story, Godzilla really only matters at the end when he joins up for the big finale fight and even then it kind of feels like Kong had this all handled. In fact, don't kill me, but Godzilla being here just makes the movie worse. Time given to Godzilla takes away time from Kong's story, which as I said feels really rushed. If anything Goji is a fucking asshole, he goes around slaughtering Titans that're just minding their business. What happened to balancing nature? You're going to kill some kaiju peacefully sleeping in the arctic because you want to glow pink now? BTW the power up is completely pointless, he doesn't even seem to do it for any good reason he just felt like a make over I guess.

Kong on the other hand was great, literally just the main character of the movie, he's the one with the most growth and who goes through a character arc. There are some wonderful scenes far away from any humans of just him doing his own thing, having his own adventure. I'm not sure I've ever seen a kaiju movie do that besides, funny enough, the much maligned Son of Godzilla. Kong finds his people, liberates them from a cruel tyrant, and proves himself king of the apes. The scenes of him and Suko bonding are especially strong in my opinion, showing Kong as an ultimately very kind and patient beast with a big heart that he desperately wants to share even with someone who hurt him. By this point, Kong is the most developed kaiju in the series, I love him.

Mothra is in the movie. Yeah, that's about it. Her presence doesn't actually make much sense, the whole "only an Iwi from Skull Island can summon her" meanwhile she just popped out of the ground herself a few years ago to fight Ghidorah. Likewise I was disappointed that she didn't really do anything, she doesn't even have a moment with Godzilla. I thought they were all symbiotically linked and whatnot? Why didn't she join the fight in Rio? Yeah, how about this, cut Godzilla from the movie and have her be the big help at the end. The story spends so much time on summoning her, about as much time as Godzilla goes stomping around, why not have her be the support for the big battle at the end? Also she's straight up magic now, materializing out of thin air, sure. Why not?

Skar King was a fun villain, I can definitely see him becoming a fan favorite. You can kind of tell with the fandom that nobody really cares about the MUTOs or the Mamma Skullcrawler despite being in some of the most beloved Monsterverse films, and that's because they're mostly treated as animals. Ghidorah was the first one really personified and for that he was a wonderful villain that the fandom could latch on to, and Skar King has a lot of moments where his personality shines. Likewise Shimo was great too, a sort of tragic mix of a war mount and a kicked puppy. I'm excited to see how the fandom reacts to her, most of the pre-movie art I've seen makes her out to be this omega asshole but in the film she's arguably nicer that Godzilla.

Yeah, having an hour and a half to calm down, I can say I had a lot of problems with the film. Likewise though, there was also a lot to love. I think I may try to watch it again, on a standard screening next time, to form some more solid thoughts. For now though, I can hope that this movie does well, because even if I'm not the biggest fan I still want to see the Monsterverse continue.

[elvencantation]

damsel liveblog

tbh my forward arrow fingers are itchy so im gonna be skipping through a lot of this

okay that opening quote was just tacky. we get it. we've seen the previews. youve made the point with the movie title

dude youve brought like twelve people to kill a dragon?? how badly do you want to die?

ooooooo i do love some mushroom arthictecture!! gimme more pls

also love how the fire almost looks liquid in some spots. or maybe thats the melting armor

oh look she's cutting wood she's not a regular girl

they did pick the right task tho chopping wood is kinda hot (see that one canadian lady on instagram)

why does her maidservant already annoy me? its cute theyre holding hands tho

i like their furs. giving stark family vibes

queen of aurea?? seriously??? queen of gold with ships of gold? how on the nose??? or is that the point

srsly giving reverend mother vibes with the 'your holiness' and matchmaking. or maybe ive just got permanent dune brainrot that's closer to the surface after seeing pt2 twice in imax

oooooo cool hair!!

WAIT THATS HER LITTLE SISTER? oh okay the side by side shots make more sense now

more cool hair i wanna see closer!!! and cute sibling interaction

OMG THIS LOOKS SO COOL I WANNA GIF IT

screen recording aquired, will link when i gif

i'd be annoyed at the parent's reactions to aurea if i didnt think about just how much it weighed on them to not be able to provide for their people

i need to take a break and go walk mom's dog

back after that and yummy dinner and just hanging out in bed with puppy and re-reading star wars time travel fics

love how the mountains are immediately ominous behind the beautiful manicured gardens and the stately if a little smudgy castle

AHA THERES THE HAIR!! WHAT BEAUTIFUL BRAIDS IM OBSESSED

lovely balcony and once again, ominous mountains! so pretty so pretty

also yes i know this is pretty basic symbolism but having her in full sunlight and the other girl in shadow? *chefs kiss* i love it every time

girlie why you drawing a labyrinth? i thought she was journaling or something

GOD I LOVE ROBIN WRIGHT. I WANNA SEE HER EVIL

excited to see what the labyrinth will be. boy be calling it a maze smh

awww i do love a good horse ride!! and they match! too bad he's about to toss her into a chasm like a sack of sacrificial potatoes

oh no did they brainwash her poor dad?? also my god stepmom is on fire with the braids and outfits

the cracks are starting to show. but seriously, forgetting the name of the girl youre about to sacrifice?? thats just plain rude

ahhh here's the scene i saw like five times on instagram

oh god please dont make the corset weird please dont say anything weird about it P L E A S E for the love of marzi!

did they give her a bodice dagger?? or was that just the sheath? i love it

ahhhh i do enjoy some nature inspired jewelry!!

also the red cloak!!! lovely

pretty pretty pretty!!!

ahhh the creepy gold masks theyre so intricate!!!

and robin is now a reverend mother too

ooooo what a pretty shot and i want her jewelry wow

ahhhh i do enjoy how subtly uncomfortable the prince looks

aha there we go. now the fun can begin!

oooooo look at all those coins

also a very pretty shot!

oooooooo i need to gif this bit too

WAIT THE DRAGON TALKS?!?!!?

my god the voice is stunning

MAGMA DRAGONFIRE THIS IS GORGEOUS (pausing for more screen recording)

looks like the maw of a dragon!!!

wait im sorry why's the other girl burnt and dead if its only 'once a generation'???

avenging angel vibes pls continue

ok yeah so it was only a sheath. too much to ask for for them to give her an actual weapon

what the heck was in that pretty filigree egg thing?? also i want one. its so pretty. i mean i know it was some kind of scent. convenient that it burns like a lamp XD

wow this movie is just feeding me lots of pretty visuals tyty

good thing girlie's got lots of upper arm strength from chopping wood!

yeahhhh make a bioluminescent lamp!!! and double win, she got rid of the second sleeve. much better now

wow im gay

magically healing bioluminescent non-oceanic nudibranches??

thats my new indie band name btw

please tell me shes taking some magic slugs with her. youre gonna be climbing spikes pls bring some healing with you

such pretty stabby crystals!!

once again looking like a maw. though this time more like the maw of a sandworm ;)

"three were taken three must be given" ???? excuse me

ah. they were dumb enough to anger a mama dragon. they deserve to die

tell me her dad aint gonna get him and his men killed

also damn she made it all the way up just to have to come back down

oh we finally get to see the dragon!!! goddamn. she looks like a scaly gryfon i like it

dont you guys dare kill the dad off just as i was starting to like him. dont do it

yeah i guess they realized they had to redeem him so his death would have impact. rude

girl take chekhov's sword!

ohhhh this is so pretty i think i gotta screen record it too

this is some pompeii shit. oh i should watch that movie its got two hot people in it

even cooler!!!

theyre just killing everyone?? thats boring

the mulan hair thing woulve been cool if i didnt daily put up my hair in a very secure bun without any pins or hairties that only works when your hair is like mid back length at least XD

its a miracle you didnt hurt your leg with you fell elodie

oh noooooo oh god that was so awkward i cant

why is this so awkward?? whats happening

like you ever did what you were told?? whats happening? whats with the pacing, the dialogue the blocking?? w h a t

why did they have to show the queen with her crown melting off for so long??

oh they match! nice

ooooooo pretty pretty

overall kind of a fun movie. dont think i'd watch it again. still need to watch i am dragon

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Transformers Rise of the Beasts

I’ll just reveal this. I cried twice at this film. While for the second time, I felt like tearing up but...crying is a strange term to describe tearing up. And I mean this in the best way. Anyway, this film has some cool posters. But it was tricky choosing one to show here. So, here’s this one.

There will be no major spoilers for this review. I will add a keep reading option. But I will...again, no huge spoilers. Yet I am going to talk about that ending scene and how I feel about it. While I...spoil it without saying anything. First the negatives and then the positives.

I was wanting to see this in IMAX. But I didn’t want to wait a few hours, so I went to a normal theater.

Here’s my biggest negative with this film. Despite many people complaining about the runtime of the later films...I wanted this film to be longer in some areas. While maybe not exactly three hours. But this is an issue I have with some of these big “Blockbusters”, and I feel like it may have to do with the number of characters in this film.

Certain things feel like they needed to be answered. And some things seem a bit rushed. Because I feel like for general audiences, it’s better to have some moments flow more and flesh out more characters. But that doesn’t mean there are personal moments and characters aren’t developed. Because like I’ve heard about this film. And I can confirm this.

Transformers Rise of the Beasts is basically trying to give you the huge action spectacles of the Bayformers films. But while still having the more personal and slow moments of Bumblebee.

Anyway, the other negatives. This one is a bit sillier. Fuck Jillian, all my homies hate Jillian. I strangely wished this character was killed by one of the Terrorcons. But that’s merely me being a sociopath and this character maybe only has a minute of screentime and something she does that I feel like...this woman doesn’t deserve nice things. But again, I sound so horrible.

(As of right now, I’m talking about Optimus Prime’s character. But fuck! I just found out that the Jillian character was played by Sarah Stiles, holy shit dude!0

But also, the ending before the credits start. This scene...I fucking hate it. Because like others, I now worry for this franchise. I get there has been crossovers with Transformers and this particular franchise. While I wouldn’t mind it down the line. But right now, no, I don’t want this crossover. I just want my Decepticon and Predacon breathren (I sound silly I know; I want those guys to show up next time) to show up in the sequel. That guy should’ve been Agent Burns from Bumblebee, not that dude.

Anyway, let’s get to the positives.

Despite I feel like this film could’ve been longer to flesh out more things. But what Steven Caple Jr. does just like Travis Knight, and a major important thing with this film. Despite it deals with a “McGuffin” story like Bayformers films. What Steven does though is that he’s able to still put emotion, characters and heart into this film. Even with how loaded it can be. 

Because I feel like if things were written a bit differently, and maybe it was longer. Transformers Rise of the Beasts would likely be one of the best Transformers films ever. It likely is, but what holds it back is again, how loaded it can be. But the film has its heart in the right place. And Steven and the writers clearly show that. It’s just trying to balance the action with the genuineness of the story it’s trying to tell. And I think people should admire that it tried to do that. Yet criticism is always allowed.

In a way, and I shouldn’t make the comparison. It’s akin to how Brad Peyton’s Rampage is so simple with its premise, but still has this emotional core in it. I’ll get back to the point.

The characters, both humans and robots.

The Cybertronians are treated like characters, like people. And that is truly special. Despite little moments in the Bayformers films that try to develop them. But they are usually treated as part of action set pieces than actual characters. Even with films that tried to develop them did so in such ways that didn’t seem I guess genuine. And then we got Bumbleebee, a simpler story about a young girl and her new robot friend. After all the Bayverse films, that was a film we needed, and I saw that movie three times in theaters.

When hearing the producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura wanted the sequel to be more action heavy akin to Michael Bay’s works. Many people like me were worried. And this dude Lorenzo, even to this day he still says stupid shit. He’s also one of the reasons why these films can be how they are. Like...there’s some videos explaining what I mean.

But again, despite the premise being filled with more stakes and less simple than Bumbelebee. It still treats the Transformers themselves as actual characters. Particularly Optimus Prime himself who has an arc of his own and you also have the character of Noah Diaz. They are pretty much our lead characters.

This is maybe Peter Cullen’s best voice over in the films and Optimus’s arc is fantastic. With him being a leader who has this heavy burden upon him wanting to protect his Autobots. Along with him having parallels to Noah as a character. By the way, Anthony Ramos as Noah is fantastic too. He’s likely one of my favorite human characters (Even though I still love Charlie Watson, Noah is still awesome) in this story. His goal, his story, along with his development are fantastic as well. There’s some conflict with their goals a bit despite how similar they are.

Again, they’re both played fantastically. Two of my favorite characters from the film. Then you got Pete Davidson voicing Mirage. Even though Mirage isn’t like his G1 self. But he’s pretty funny honestly, and his relationship with Noah is pretty great too. Mirage has some great scenes along with some of the other robots. Such as Optimus Primal and Airrazor. There’s a lot of good stuff in here.

But again, the robots are treated like characters just like the humans. Yet I do think you’ll mainly get that with characters like Optimus, Mirage, Primal and Airrazor. I think Scourge possibly as well, but I want to talk about him later. The other robots like Bumblebee, Arcee & Pablo Wheeljack (Yes, I’m calling him that too) have their moments. Whether it be for humor or small little moments. But nothing huge like character development.

You also have our second main human character Eleana. Who is also good, but I do seem to agree. She’s mainly there for plot reasons, but she isn’t a bad character either way. I honestly, liked nearly every character in this film. Even when characters like Cheetor, Rhinox, Battletrap, Nightbird and Stratosphere get a few lines here and there.

I’ll admit, while you do get to see the Maximals early on, they are mostly part of the third act. While Primal and Airrazor are the ones that get the most attention. And this one moment is the first part that legitimately made me tear up because of how affective it was. When you see the movie, you’ll understand what I mean.

Again, while Cheetor and Rhinox are there, nothing is done with them. But with all the robots despite...Pablo Wheeljack in a strange case. All of these Cybertronians are treated like characters and dealt with respect. Even with some having little screentime. It seems more earnest or genuine than how the Bayformers treated the robots.

Pablo Wheeljack is a weird case because he’s not bad or anything. His look isn’t bad and that I recall, there’s a reason for that. But they don’t explain it in the film, and it would be just better if he wasn’t called Wheeljack. In fact, I question if he should’ve been in the film anyway.

Now let's get to the Terrorcons. Scourge like others have said, he’s the best villain these live action films have had. Peter Dinklage voices him very well. Even though considering some of his lines really hints to him that he’s enjoying what he’s doing. Despite I feel like he seems to have a similar role as Galvatron in the 1986 Transformers movie. Being a slave of Unicron but instead of wanting to break free, he’s again, fully enjoying what he’s doing. Even though I feel like some depth could’ve been added to him to make me like him more. But he gets the job done.

While I do like me some pure villains who love what they’re doing. Some depth is nice to explain them. Even if it might be shallow.

Yet I do feel disappointed when it concerns his allies. While I can understand Battletrap is more of the “Brute” and he doesn’t get much lines. It’s kind of annoying when you know the history behind Nightbird as a character. But she’s instead played off as a henchwoman in this movie. Especially when you remember they talked about her character being flexible with alliances. Especially before the movie released. It looked like Battletrap and possibly Nightbird were ex-Decepticons turned Terrorcons.

I’m going to say this. I would’ve liked it if the Autobots when they first meet the Terrorcons, they assume they are Decepticons until they realize they are facing against something different and much more horrifying. Particularly Optimus as he’s been holding a burden as he’s been trying to make sure his Autobots aren’t found and no Decepticons find Earth. That’s something I wanted to see because I feel like that would be a big deal.

Anyway, I like all the robots in the film. I should talk about other stuff. Such as the score by Jongnic Bontemps. This is a spectacular score and hits the right notes. Especially there are familiar elements you’ll recognize from other Transformers films. Along with one of a certain classic villain I recall seeing a tweet mentioning it.

The action is again, awesome. You can see it, and it can be creative. And sometimes downright brutal. It’s made better when you can care about some of the characters. The set pieces are spectacular to see and what else can I say about the film? Because I feel like I’ve talked about it a lot. It was mainly the writing I wanted to talk about.

-

I think I want to finish this review soon. As a Transformers fan myself, I liked this film. While I do wish some things could be fleshed out a bit more. Like, the film could’ve been longer so things could have more weight. But the film still does it job of being a more heartfelt, yet action filled film. It’s directed by a guy who genuinely gives a damn and likes the franchise. It’s one of the best Transformers films despite its setbacks.

If you were annoyed with the Bayverse and loved Bumblebee, or you liked the action from the Bayformers, go check out this film. It’s pretty dang good. Maybe I gotta watch it more and think about it. But I was happy with what I’ve seen. Even though it wasn’t game changing, and you could be annoyed by it doing the “McGuffin” like story. But this time, you actually have genuine characters in this with some character development.

Again, despite how loaded it can be. It’s a good film, and I genuinely liked it. Hoping Transformers One is awesome. But also hoping the sequel to this gets even better, and we’d get a Beast Wars film down the line. Because I love Beast Wars. I just don’t want Lorenzo fucking shit up again.

[greensparty]

Stuff I'm Looking Forward To in September

Summer's over and now it's Back to School month! In addition to Labor Day (Sept. 4), 9/11 (Sept. 11), Rosh Hashanah (sundown on Sept. 15 to nightfall on Sept. 17), First Day of Fall (Sept. 23) and Yom Kippur (Sept. 25) here is what's on my radar this month:

Movies:

Stop Making Sense

I guess you could say I've written a great deal about Jonathan Demme's brilliant Talking Heads concert film Stop Making Sense (for proof, read here). Demme, in his prime, captured the Talking Heads in their prime as they performed over the course of 4 nights in Hollywood. To celebrate the 40th anniversary of those concerts (the film was released in 1984), A24 is re-releasing this legendary film in IMAX on 9/11 before a wider 4K remastered release in Sept. (my review and coverage coming soon!).

Dumb Money

Director Craig Gillespie has done some interesting work based on true stories (i.e. I, Tonya and last year's limited series Pam and Tommy) and now he's doing the movie version of the Gamestop becoming the hottest stock on Wall Street. Opens 9/22.

Drive-Away Dolls

I was a huge fan of the Coen brothers, but after The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, they began working solo. After Joel Coen's The Tragedy of Macbeth, I'm excited to see Ethan Coen's solo feature, an action comedy about inept criminals, which is his wheelhouse! Opens 9/22. [ NOTE: This has since been moved to 2024, awaiting exact release date ]

Flora and Son

John Carney has very quietly become one of the best directors of the now. His last feature film Sing Street was my #1 Movie of 2016. Now he's back with this Sundance hit, which once again is about musicians. Can't wait! Opening in select theaters on 9/22 and then streaming on Apple TV+ on 9/29.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

It is very rare that a short film makes my Stuff I'm Looking Forward To list, but when it's director Wes Anderson adapting Roald Dahl, like he did with the adaptation of The Fantastic Mr. Fox, it makes my list! This short premieres on 9/27 on Netflix.

The Kill Room

It's a Pulp Fiction reunion with Uma Thurman and Samuel L. Jackson starring in this thriller, which also stars Thurman's daughter Maya Hawke. Opens 9/29.

Music:

Speedy Ortiz Rabbit Rabbit

It's been five years since the last Speedy Ortiz album, which makes this new one super exciting. Album drops 9/1. (Review to come).

Courtney Barnett End of the Day (music from the film Anonymous Club)

Last year I caught the documentary Anonymous Club about one of my favorite musicians to emerge out of the 2010s Courtney Barnett. Now the instrumental music score that she composed for the doc is getting a release. Album drops on 9/8. (Review to come).

Will Butler + Sister Squares Will Butler + Sister Squares

Will Butler was a vital part of Arcade Fire and before he left the band in 2022, he had already done some great solo albums. He released his first solo album Policy in 2015 and it was just as good as some of Arcade Fire’s albums. I named Policy my #2 Album of 2015 and I was lucky enough to see him live in 2015 just before the album’s release (read my review here). His 2020 album Generations was the next best thing to an Arcade Fire album during that time. Now he has a new album with his new group Sister Squares dropping on 9/22 (Review to come).

The Breeders Last Splash 30th Anniversary Edition

Last month marked the 30th anniversary of one of my all time favorite albums ever, Last Splash by The Breeders (read my remembrance here). To celebrate the band is doing a tour and also releasing a 30th anniversary edition dropping 9/22!

The Replacements Tim Let It Bleed Edition Box Set

I out and out love The Replacements and their 1985 album Tim is considered by many to be their best. Now the album is getting the box set treatment with an Ed Stasium mix of the album, outtakes and concert recordings. Album drops 9/22 (Review to come).

Wilco Cousin

A Wilco release is always a high priority for me. I’ve been lucky enough to get to review the band’s Ode to Joy and Cruel Country albums as well as this year's Record Store Day release Crosseyed Strangers and they certainly are one of the greatest American rock bands of the last 25 years. Hands down! This new album is said to be a return to their early 00s rock sound. Woo hoo! Album drops 9/29.

Conventions:

Collectibles Extravaganza

The team that run the Northeast Comic Con, which I've covered a lot in the past, have a collectibles show at the Boxborough Regency in Boxborough, MA from Sept. 30-Oct. 1. Always a fun time!

[twenty-words-or-less]

Top 5 Best Films of 2021

I promised a top 5 of 2021 and here it is. Severely delayed, I know, but I’ve been trying to do other things with life and the days just got away from me. There will also be a More button on this status but I’d really appreciate if you guys gave the entire post a shot and not just scroll away. Cheers! Anyway, here it is, with the general theme of “yeah, this surprised me too!”:

5. Another Round (Druk)

Very dry, darkly funny Danish drama which manages to condemn as well as celebrate the drinking culture that seems to have a grip on North Europe as a whole, which is kind of interesting. Fun fact: the original title roughly translates to ‘Binge-Drinking’, something as blunt as the film itself.

4. Malignant

The kind of film made by someone who said “hey, my last film made you $1bn, can I have some money to do the thing I REALLY want to do?”. Basically an hour and a half of batshittery improved by a very divisive twist that [REDACTED] and I enjoyed very much.

3. The Suicide Squad

The one film I definitely saw coming with regards to it being on here. It’s exactly what one would expect from a James Gunn movie: dark comedy, people literally having a blast, a soundtrack consisting of songs one hasn’t heard since they were a teenager (looking at you, “Whistle For The Choir”). Can also confirm that it is just as good seeing it sober and in IMAX as it is seeing it drunk in standard definition.

2. West Side Story

Absolutely thrilled to have this here considering my attitude towards this film since seeing the teaser in May. Everyone fits into their characters as comfortably as if they are regular performers, and it manages to define itself as being an adaptation without caving into the ’61 adap and being its own beast. Highlight is 100% Rita Moreno singing “Somewhere”, which absolutely destroyed me. It would probably be number 1 were it not for the guy who played Tony, whose name I don’t want to say in case he materialises in my living room and starts mauling “Something’s Coming” in front of me or some shit.

And now, the honourable mentions (which were surprisingly hard to pick) in no particular order:

In the Heights: Did slightly drag over the last half hour or so, and I cared more about the secondary romance than the main one. However, god DAMN is the songwriting tight, the camerawork fluid and coherent, and the one-two of “Paciencia y Fe” and “Alabanza”… whoof.

Annette: It, uh, sure is a film. I don’t know how to talk about it without sounding like I’m giving it backhanded compliments.

Candyman: A beautifully shot gem which, like 2018’s Halloween, took a risk in being a belated sequel. However, it also has a solid cast, the themes were well-executed, and the shadow puppetry was devastating. The cut to the scene with the girls in the bathroom was hilarious, too.

Encanto: Lin-Manuel Miranda’s had a fucking good year, hasn’t he?

And finally, top of the list…

1. Dune

I enjoyed it a LOT more than I expected, and not reading the book beforehand didn’t hinder it. Great cast, great music, and meme-able, which is always a good thing. The pacing was also even and the visuals beautiful. Very Villeneuve, very much what I imagine reading the book is like. And between this and Call Me By Your Name (which I watched when ill with Covid), I’ve come to the conclusion that watching something in which Timothée Chalamet has a prominent role is stressful because PLEASE can somebody feed him? Please?? Thanks.

And that concludes the top 5 of 2021. I’m not doing a full-on bottom 5 because I’m exhausted by negativity, but I’ll just do a summary here: Halloween Kills exists, Spider-Man: No Way Home & The Matrix Resurrections were let-downs, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions was annoying and unnecessary, and Old made me want to punch a fucking wall.

Thanks for reading!

~Mikey

[zponds]

Jurassic World Dominion — My Edition — Prologue

Now the first thing I wanna modify is the Cretaceous prologue, which was cool on its own and the way it was marketed with the prologue showing at IMAX screenings of F9 (Fast and Furious 9) reminded me of how Disney’s Dinosaur was marketed with its first 5 minutes showing in theaters in 1999. But, I sometimes felt that Dominion’s prologue coulda had some improvements and additional shots and dinosaurs.

The first change is in the wide shot showing Dreadnoughtus, Quetzalcoatlus and Pteranodon, where the Pteranodons are feathered like the Quetzalcoatlus.

After the shot of the (feathered) Pteranodons on the cliffside, an additional shot is included, one that showcases a mixed herd of Maiasaura, Wuerhosaurus and Hypsilophodon. This shot shows a symbiotic relationship between 3 different species, with the Maiasaura nesting in a huge next colony, the Wuerhosaurus being the guard dogs and the Hypsilophodon being the lookouts.

The next change is in the Oviraptor segment. While the Oviraptor is eating one of the eggs, a Gigantoraptor appears out of nowhere in a jumpscare, bringing its big beak and single tooth down on the Oviraptor, killing it instantly. With that, it’s shown that Oviraptorids not only ate eggs whenever they got the chance, but to also show that Oviraptorids actually protected their nests.

After the Nasutoceratops segment, another brand new segment is added, one that shows a mixed herd of Triceratops, Alamosaurus and Edmontosaurus. Some of the dinosaurs are eating, some are drinking, some are resting, some are bathing and some are on the lookout for predators.

The next segment of the Giganotosaurus and Tyrannosaurus Rex would remain mostly the same, but a few things are different. The Moros Intrepidus picks the meat off from between the sleeping Rex’s teeth. Then the Rex starts to wake, causing the Moros to flee. The (Dominion) Giga shows up, opting to take the Rex’s territory. As the two circle each other and eventually fight, we get a glimpse into the fact that this Giga is a North American subspecies that evolved to take on Tyrannosaurus. The Rex does deliver a few good hits in with its bulky build and bone-shattering jaw strength, but the Giga outmaneuvers the Rex and pushes it over a nearby small cliff side, causing the Rex to fall and break its neck as it lands on a huge rock in the shallow river. As the Rex’s pupil dilates, a misquote lands on the Rex and sucks some blood before flying off pass the departing Giga.

The next part where Rexy runs from the helicopter and causes havoc at a drive-in movie theater remains the same… with the only addition being a small cameo appearance of Eric Kirby, now an adult… and below the “65 Million Years Later” is an extra text that says “(Summer 2018)”. The helicopter’s searchlight shines in the camera then it becomes a flash of lightning.