#also the fact that i'm told i get my benefits cut if i miss an appointment. but THEY were literally nearly 20 minutes late calling

[katya-goncharov]

oh my gosh the utter bullshit i've had to put up with from universal credit!!

[measureyourlifeincake]

Malevolent E9 (not specifically about that ep but yknow. i havent listened past it so if anything i say is contradicted by anything in later eps, that's why): Been thinking about how Malevolent's story is so defined by the constraints of its creation and the problem-solving used to get around that (I mean, I suppose the same can be said to some degree for nearly any piece of art, but it really jumps out for me here).

The first and most obvious example is Arthur's blindness, with John "acting as his eyes" by describing their surroundings for him (and the audience)—it's (to me at least) clearly contrived as a way to get around the "This Gun In My Right Hand Is Loaded" problem, but it also is kind of the main conceit of the plot, and immediately defines John and Arthur's relationship—Arthur has to rely upon John from the jump, even though he has no real proof of his intentions or trustworthiness. "I have your eyes," John says, a threat as much as it is a fact. All John has to do to harm Arthur is stop talking and watch him blunder around without his help (which he does do eventually, but the threat hanging over his head is, at least initially, enough to convince Arthur to cooperate with him). It's an interesting tool for the audience to understand what is going on at any given point of the story, but also, it has real actual consequences in the story that reverberate through the narrative.

(putting the rest under the cut bc this got Long)

There's also the fact that John and Arthur are constantly recapping what has happened and laying out what all their options and potential consequences of said options are going forward. To me, this (as well as the above) feels like the author's main goal is to make sure the audience is clear on Exactly what is going on At All Times. The episodes only come out once a month, after all, and it could be hard to remember what happened in the last episode if you haven't revisited it since then (also I am just now realizing that this is sort of paralleled with Arthur's month-long coma). There's also the thing about how apparently Patreon supporters can influence where the story goes, and I'm not entirely sure how that works, but it gives Guthrie another incentive to make sure the audience has all the possible options laid out for them.

But, while I do think this is done mainly for the audience's benefit, it does also tell us a lot about Arthur and John's characters/relationship. It says that, despite any differences of opinion or questions of trust they may have—they do view whatever they have together (which I have been told... changes over time, but for right now I'm just talking about their relationship up until where I've listened) as an actual partnership—they want to make sure they are on the same page, or at least understand what the other is thinking. They may disagree on the correct course of action, but Arthur pretty much always tells John what he's doing instead of trying to get one over on him. Also, since they do try to reason out everything they do, and Arthur keeps charging into risky situations ass-first anyway, it tells us that Arthur sees himself as a very intelligent and rational man, when really he just seems to be very good at justifying whatever stupid decisions he might make in the pursuit of Knowledge.

And then there's uh. Women. (I sorta mentioned this in a different post but I can't stop turning it around in my brain)

So it seems that Harlan Guthrie a) has decided to not hire any voice actors and just voice every character himself, and b) doesn't seem to believe himself capable of convincingly voicing a female character (or just doesn't want to. idk).

This doesn't mean that there aren't any women or girls in Malevolent—on the contrary, the podcast is full of them. They are all either old crones or daughters—crazy old women and wraiths and babies and missing girls and missing girls and dead missing girls. They cry, they wheeze, they laugh, they write letters to close friends (but of course, their friends are not there to read the letters), but they can never speak for themselves, in their own voices. They must be dead, or wordless, or both.

They haunt the narrative, and haunt the narrative, and haunt the narrative. They are metaphysically incapable of doing anything else. They can save Arthur's life, help guide his way, but they can never have a simple conversation with him. Obviously Arthur had to be in a coma for just long enough that Amanda/Sarah died before he could talk to her. It couldn't ever have gone any other way—the world doesn't work like that.

And then there's Arthur's daughter. She's dead. It hasn't been explicitly stated yet at the point I'm at (she's mentioned for the first time at the end of E9), but it's pretty obvious. Not only did he mention her name first when he was literally dying, but just. Of course she is. There's no chance she isn't, that maybe Arthur thinks she's dead but really something else has happened to her—all daughters are dead. That's just how it works. (except for that one baby, I suppose. The baby is interesting—I notice they explicitly refer to her as female when I don't think they had a way to know that*. She just Is a girl, she has to be. She needs protecting, therefore she is a Daughter, plain and simple).

And learning that Arthur has (had) a daughter has caused me to look at the rest of the girls in this podcast differently (and is honestly a big reason why I wanted to write this post in the first place.) Those missing-turned-dead girls, the baby, all those young girls haunting the narrative—they're all his daughter, naturally. (not literally but y'know, meta-narratively or whatever) They're not just haunting the narrative, but haunting him specifically.

Anyway, girls haunting horror stories and fridged women and whatever other tropes that keep women from fully participating in stories are nothing new, obviously (and I imagine that Guthrie is very intentional when he invokes those tropes—this whole thing is a big ol' nod to Lovecraft, there's no way this guy is doing horror tropes by accident), but the fact that it seems to be like that mostly because Guthrie just Didn't Want to Hire An Actor makes it way more interesting to me.

I'm sure most (if not all) of this has been discussed in the fandom already, but I haven't read any meta or anything yet and I just wanted to get my thoughts down. Honestly, part of why I made this post is that I feel like I can clearly see what Guthrie was going for in how he built this story (/is building this story) and how it works within the world of the characters, but I'm still trying to puzzle out how I personally feel about the choices he made. (ex: do I appreciate how clear he makes things for the listener or do i feel like my hand is being held to much and i'm not being trusted to understand what's going on? if the latter, is it integrated into the story well enough for me to forgive it?) Writing this has... not actually helped much. I'll let you know if I figure it out.

*Okay I went back to the transcript, and it seems they start using she/her pronouns for the baby as soon as the old woman gives her to them. I assumed that the baby was wearing clothes or swaddled in a blanket the whole time, but I don't think this is ever explicitly stated, so it's possible it could've been clear once John was able to get a close enough look at her. Still, this is very much glossed over. Which, granted, it would be weird if they took a moment in the text to like, look at the baby's genitals, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[fxllen-rxse]

//The frustration is so real.... Here comes a work vent... If it's not you're thing, just ignore. I'll delete later, but I'm desperately needing to get this off my chest.

I've never been so utterly frustrated with work.

We have a young clerk that we hired back a little over a year ago. She's 21 now, has a one year old and is dealing with the kid's father, who is younger and cheated on her. So he's not really in the picture, so to speak. She lives with her mom right now.

She worked here when she was in school, but when c/vid hit, the owner "furloughed" her and someone else. Both ended up quitting. She was hired back when we had someone else quit last year since she was already somewhat trained.

Was fine at first, but her attitude towards others, we have learned, isn't the best. We've had mentions that she has been rude and at least 1 customer literally said that she has the personality of a tree. She has also been "written up" once or twice before.

She is currently less than part time so she can keep her state health insurance.

I've given her the benefit of the doubt, of course. Maybe it's just being blown out of proportion, but as time went on, she's become more and more flaky and undependable. Almost every pay period since she's been back she has missed a day a two. Either due to her kid or herself constantly being sick, which I get. It happens, but it's become such a regular thing anymore. Sometimes she'll also say she has some kind of emergency and is very vague about details and when or if she will be at work, which gives us little time to get coverage for her, if any. One time she was supposed to cover for someone on Saturday, but the day of, she was suddenly sick. This has happened on more than one occasion.

When she does mark herself off, she tends to either forget to tell anyone or just assumes it's fine. For example, a couple days prior, she half heartedly mentions that she won't be in on a Monday because it's her son's first birthday and it's special. Mondays are normally busy and she didn't even mark it down.

On top of this, she is supposed to take 30 minute lunch breaks. She marks herself down for such, but spends an additional 20 or so in the restroom afterwards. It might as well be an hour, but it's clearly not marked that way. Let alone the fact that she just randomly disappears in the middle of stuff for the same amount of time without saying anything multiple times per day.

So recently, several of us has voiced our frustrations with her. My husband, who is mostly in charge of the scheduling, talked with the owner, who already isn't fond of her because she has a nose ring, among other things. Supposedly he just wanted to fire her, but they're going with another approach. Getting fazed out, in a way. She will get her hours cut starting next week when school is out and two of our other employees can actually show up and work.

My husband informed her of this last Wednesday, after she somehow suddenly became sick and wanted to leave at 3. Afterwards, she left upset, and later texts him asking if she were to "accept" these new hours, which would be 3-6 m-f (because she doesn't want to work Saturdays, which is just 9-1), if she could get a raise...

When I was told about this, I couldn't wrap my head around it.... So she wanted more money for less work?!! And the fact that she assumed it was a choice?? I'm just.... I don't....

I have worked here for more than ten years and I don't think I've ever dealt with this amount of stress with another clerk. I am also a clerk. I am full time and, anymore, I feel like I'm babysitter when she's here just to make sure she isn't rude with people.

Maybe this is selfish of me. I'm older than she is, obviously. I have no kids and don't plan on having any, but as someone who doesn't and has had to work since I was 18, lost 2 parents at 20, and moved out shortly after to get away from my abusive step mother, I've been fortunate enough to work my way up to this point where my husband and I are stable with money and stuff and still have some luxuries sometimes. It wasn’t easy by any means.

And to some extent, I have some of my mom's leftover life insurance money to thank for a few things, but aside from that, neither of us were never just handed anything. We both have had to work our asses for this.

I will admit, her situation sucks all around. We have at least one tech who is against the idea of cutting her hours. He told my husband that it's "evil" and she's just a kid.

Maybe I am selfish. I have no kids and I don't know what it's like, but it's increasingly difficult for me to feel sorry for someone who's work ethic is almost nonexistent and just thinks she can get away with being paid more for doing as little as possible. Let alone made some poor life choices. I hate that I have think of it this way and I feel terrible, but I'm just frustrated to no end anymore.

[elthadriel]

Codex obvs, fives/echo? And uhh I'm sorry but I'm so curious, anidala? ...reylo?

Under a cut because it got long :D

Codex my beloved 😭

What made you ship it?

The Rishi episode had me shipping (Cody called Rex Old Boy and I was 👀) it but mostly in the background, then I wrote Boosting Morale for an event week. That was beginning of the end. I also made some new friends within the fandom around that time who shipped it and were writing the much delicious fic about them. From there there was no saving me and I’m obsessed.

What are your favourite things about the ship?

Can I just gesture vaguely at everything I’ve written for them?

I like that they come with built in pining. Even after they’re together they spend a lot of time apart missing each other. There’s a level of devotion that I love. These are men who aren’t allowed to have anything and took this anyway. They barely own themselves but own each other anyway. It makes me weak.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I prefer them having meet post Kamino as a rule. There’s plenty fun stuff with them meeting on Kamino, and I don’t avoid it, but it’s not my preference.

I adore Fives/echo

What made you ship it?

Canon. The last survivors of their squad, the fact even on Kamino when they didn’t get along there was enough of a connection there to seek out being moved to a different squad together

What are your favourite things about the ship?

The codependency. I want them to be unable to recognise themselves without the other as a point of comparison. Which makes it even better that somehow they both have to figure out how to. I just want you to look at them alone, and be able to see the hole the other left behind and they are desperately trying to fill. Look, canon give me a ship where they both have to mourn the other’s death, how could I say no to that?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I’m not a huge fan of how both of these characters are often written. Fives is energetic but he’s also incredibly smart and driven. He’s not a fuck up or a prankster. Meanwhile, I think Echo is just as much of a shithead as Fives (you think that man wasn’t loving how annoyed he made people reciting regs?) he just disguises it better.

Anidala

I wasn’t sure how to answer this one. I guess I ship it in the sense of I always write with the assumption they’re together, and don’t really ship either of them with anyone else because I don’t think their characters really work without the other. But, on the other hand, I would never write it, would never look it out, and just don’t really care one way or the other 😂

Fuck it, I decided to do a mix from both.

What made you ship it?

I think Anakin’s obsessive love of Padme is so central to everything that happens to him. It’s his primary driving motivator and that’s compelling. And we’re repeatedly told that Padme is a good person and smart, but she gets into a relationship with Anakin, which is objectively a stupid idea considering, and he admits to slaughtering a village to her and she isn’t repulsed. I think Padme making exceptions to her morals when it’s for the benefit of herself says so much about her.

What would have made you like it?

I find the prequels very hard to watch. I don’t even find them enjoyable in a “this is so bad” kind of way. I just think they’re bad. And then Anakin’s characterisation in tcw is just all over the place and feels super different from what we see in the movies. So probably, better canon and probably if I was just more interested in the characters in general.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I hate any implication that Anakin mind ticked Padme or that she felt pressured into a relationship with him. She knew what she was doing and I think it flattens her character into something very boring to pretend she didn’t. Let her justify this man’s viciousness while considering herself just a good and kind person. It’s fun.

Reylo

Why don’t you ship it?

Mostly because I like Finn/Rey way more. Also, while I’m normally here for enemies to lovers, canon was so inconstant with what they were doing with them it was hard to get meaningfully compelled.

What would have made you like it?

I think canon being better and knowing what it wanted to do with them.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

There’s a lot of tropes there that I like. Enemies to Lovers I mentioned, and I often like some unhealthy toxicity in my ships.

[hardpacker]

there is a lot of frustration and anxiety and retroactive grieving that comes with it but i am really glad that i eventually pursued reading and learning and talking more (like with therapists mainly but also some good people in my life) about being autistic. it was mostly out of anka suggesting it to me a few times but i was really unsure for a while. now my therapists and even my doctor (kind of) are talking to me more about it and figuring out what kind of help i know i need and ideas for what could be useful...

it really sucks, but it makes so much sense to me now why in may 2020, sooner than the year or year and a half it took for a lot of other people, i could acutely tell something was Seriously Going Wrong with my brain, grasping at words, not being able to access what should have been vivid since my memory is apparently quite good-- with all my real life connections and contexts and activities halted. and why recovery time is so much slower and the burnout, the becoming sluggish, not being able to speak and further information feeling painful, is so much worse now... but also, it's not new. it's happened before. it happened all through college and i had no idea that's what was doing it. and life was different, i didn't have as much time to reflect, i knew less about myself to be able to connect the dots in any kind of informative way, much less try to tell other people about it.

it feels like something is unlocked in a profound way, way way way different than being told to go on one antidepressant after another and getting sick each time. now i'm on a different kind of medication to help manage distress and there isn't any sickness at all. i'm summing this up extremely quickly because i have things to do, but it just clicks so solidly, decisively. i know what would really benefit me is patience and understanding me in good faith. i think i'm a pretty consistent person. i think i try to maintain a whole, well-rounded view of people, even if part of that is because some things i just can't forget (and worrying if i'm remembering "the right things") and even if i can't expect other people to hold me in their mind like that... i'd at least like to be received with even some of this in mind.

it bummed me out when friends drifted away when things didn't suddenly get better for me. it bums me out to see that happening to other people too. maybe it comes off as creepy/inappropriate to still feel strongly about someone based on what i think are foundational friendship components or interactions, if whatever it is that brought us together still seems intact to me, maybe i can't pick up on what they view as the separation-- lack of frequent talking, not picking up new shared interests? my feelings were hurt recently when only a couple people congratulated me on the Ignatz nomination or all the comics i've done recently, because i thought those were things other people were passionate about too, or at the very least, required little emotional depth to acknowledge. i feel really bad when i miss a milestone in people's lives, and maybe the fact is that i haven't had the same milestones to share. but isn't that normal...? idk. i feel like i do reach out to people but maybe it's not in the same ways that they value. i'd like to be given a chance. or maybe i just need to find people who i don't have to chase. i think it's both? i need to better understand what other people like but i also think the internet is no way to do this. everyone is extremely keyed up and defensive and you can rewrite a person at will.

i'm still confused and increasingly weirded out about T cutting me off, if just that i did try to bring it up more directly and understand her feelings, but maybe directness is misread by other people, maybe it's just not that common. in remembering other weird misunderstandings or unsettling, confusing interactions with people, or my default mode of appeasement/dissociation (which i'm doing my best to quit) i can take some of the blame off myself. the blame isn't autism's, either. this actually makes it easier to just be like, yknow, the other person DID act out of pocket about this. this stuff WAS kind of nothing and yes it COULD have been handled differently. but i also am not good at remaining in 1 fandom, placating anybody for all that long, keeping quiet, toeing whatever social line i'm "supposed to", and i know i have a hard time shaking off my values or like, morals?, even if it'd serve me better-- i'd like to be more flexible, while also being consistent, which is something really important to me in terms of how i'm read by other people. like nothing coming out of left field. but understanding other people may not have the perspective i do.

and that should be okay so long as it isn't actually hurtful. like everyone is different people. i agree with my friends more than i don't (makes sense) but i can't think of a situation where in a disagreement, my intent was to HURT, rather than express confusion/upset/anger. you can't ask questions online without sounding challenging, even if that same question can be expressed in real life with no problem. but i'm wondering if people more often remember how you made them feel, not the details within or surrounding it. and that's something to balance. i tend to be more critical of myself than other people, and default to an assumption of good intent first, but that's ALSO a good way to ignore important signs. and avoid the simple answer to "why would this person want to hurt me?" which might be "they don't care about you and they wanted to." i don't want to be a fucking pushover.

i might not know the "right" way to talk to people, but i know 100% that i do try, and in my adult life especially, have always tried. and i hope continuing to do that will yield a sense of comfort, ease, stability that i've been longing for since connections to other friends have become tenuous these past few years. my ideal is being comfortable in a group of people and not being scared of saying something wrong or having ~weird~ interests or expressing them in a weird way. i think this is also why trying to suck all the "ill-fitting" interests or aspects of things i like/myself, my comforts, my art, gender, sexuality, dress, everything, never worked-- i can't cultivate some kind of scene-based personality, i can't become a different person just because it'd be easier to navigate the world that way. it's not going to happen. and i guess that needs to be alright.

it is mournful to think about how like... even if my parents or schools had known, there's no way i would've been treated any better. it wouldn't have amounted to anything. i would've been bullied and abused more, if anything, or it would be the exact same as it is now-- maybe they would've never told me. so i can't even imagine a life where this would've offered some sense of freedom before now, but maybe i could've learned to be less expectant of myself faster. god i just remembering being so overwhelmed needing to lie down in the dark for a while. drawing in class was the best way to remember any of the information because it was tied to an action, which then grounded me in a time and place, and everything else fills in around it, the memory is built from the minute and outward. the missing spaces in memory are what's most unsettling because they're so exceptional to me. and thinking with shaky confidence starting around 5th grade like "i must be acting like everyone else, right?" even though the cold and irritated way with which people handled me pointed at something else. feeling wickedly ill at-ease basically my entire life, just uncomfortable, sick to my stomach, stressed, bearing all of that in mind. trying over and over. ugh. really frustrating, really sad. so many kids grow up like this.

AND MY FUCKING... ALLERGIES AND SENSITIVITIES AND AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER AND MY MAST CELL SHIT........................................ LIKE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK okay

i don't have a good closer to this sorry lol

[stellocchia]

Since I really enjoyed yesterday's stream I decided to do one of my overly long analysis on it

So, here's my analysis of (DSMP LORE) Healthy Competition

Dialogues will be color-coded as usual, so here's what I used: Phil, Wilbur, Ranboo

As always I am incapable of brevity, so everything's under the cut

The stream starts with a conversation between Phil and Wilbur in which Wilbur admits that he hasn't been to visit Phil in a while, which makes Phil's later threat about throwing him out feel that much more ridiculous since Wilbur clearly doesn't really live with him either way...

"Alright, it's got one for Phil, one for Ranboo, and one for Techno. Is that all that live here? Just you three?" "Yep, just us three, just chilling"

The only reason why I'm singling this out is that it was right after the mention of Techno's birthday and Wilbur was pointing at the seats occupied by the 4 members of the Syndicate so it feels slightly weird that Niki wasn't mentioned at all. But also it's technically not a lie, she doesn't live there and she only comes around for the Syndicate meetings.

Another thing to add is that Wilbur did notice the chest Ranboo left for him and consciously decided to ignore it.

"I must admit I've come to you with a bit of a- a bit of a proposition. You're into propositions Phil? Are you a bit of a 'propositions' kinda guy?" "Oh, depends, depends. You- you've had some pretty... let- let's just say, uh- not- not a great track record on propositions that you've had in the past" "Alright... I mean, I'm trying to move past that"

I wonder what exactly Phil is referring to here. Because, like, Wilbur did bad things, don't get me wrong, but what's his track record with "propositions" in particular? Because he isn't talking about "Tommy, let's be the bad guys" here since he doesn't know about that. Is he talking about Wilbur founding L'Manburg? But then again, I don't think Wilbur interpreted it that way. I think that, from Wilbur's reaction, he clearly interpreted it as a jab at him exploding L'Manburg (which is the one thing he's trying to move past) which would be extremely hypocritical from Phil since he did the exact same thing but worse.

Also, I really do think that Wilbur is trying to move forward. He's lonely and he has the lowest possible opinion of himself so it doesn't feel weird that he'd want to move on. He isn't putting the work in it right now and he hasn't really changed, but he does seem to want to (though I think he may not know how).

"He [Quackity] didn't seem afraid of me, which is cool. Not many people- I mean you don't seem afraid of me. You aren't afraid of me, are you Phil?" (little look into Wilbur's mind and his fear of isolation once again. And this is fear of isolation, he's worried that other people are afraid of him and therefore are only waiting for him to step out of line so that all their fears would be confirmed)

"'Cause I'm not afraid of you [Phil]" (bold words for someone who spent who knows how long lying to his dad because of a crippling fear of disappointment...)

"Technoblade spent his entire time taking down the establishments, what he left is, as predicted, a power vacuum for a new establishment to come in" (in case it wasn't obvious, Wilbur is not the biggest fan of anarchy. And he actually got this one criticism spot on, indeed all taking down L'Manburg did was getting 4 new governmental-like structures to sprout in its place)

"Phil, I want to make a burger van" *Phil sighs and walks away* (I'm more sure now that Phil really meant "creating L'Manburg" as Wilbur's bad track record with propositions)

Wilbur repeating 4 times that he has no ulterior motive with the burger van managed to make me think the exact opposite. That said that ulterior motive may just be to create a safe little home for himself and Tommy for all we know honestly. Also, the whole thing with Phil trying to convince his grown-ass kid to go play with the neighbor kid and Wilbur throwing a tantrum in response was hilarious...

"If he's [Ranboo] shit you gotta come help me okay? If he's shit you've gotta come be burger boy with me, okay?" (he still is mistrustful to an extreme and pretty childish admittedly)

"Why is he [Phil] treating me like a kid?! Why is he treating me like a little baby?" (remembering how Wilbur treated Fundy I think it may be a family problem)

Another interesting thing to point out is that Wilbur was openly scared of the spider attacking him here, and fights it off, but he doesn't move away from the explosion later on and he didn't move away from the exploding creepers last stream. Other people already made this connection, but I do think it may be a sort of way to punish himself. Specifically, it's brought up later on that he thinks he got off easy for what he did, so he's using what he hurt others with (explosions) to hurt himself now as a sort of punishment for that. Which is another indication of just how much his stay in Limbo didn't help with his mental health.

"Am I being- is this [Ranboo having both cows and wheat] a setup?" (the paranoia never left)

"Ranboo I'm gonna go out on a limb here: do- do you wanna be friends?" "Su-sure yeah, I don't see why not" (I think that at this point it was still just Wilbur following along with what his dad told him to do and trying to find out more about Ranboo. That does seem to change later down the line)

"And then we decided that it [the 'cookie' outpost] was too much trouble so we kinda just left it" (So we have confirmation that the cookie outpost was abandoned)

"We're not gonna annoy Quackity" "That's good" "We can't annoy- we can't annoy him because we're simply put- we're simply put gonna be making...- I got the real estate! He's giving me the area and we're gonna be making a competing business"

Wilbur says this as if he wasn't perfectly aware that this would annoy the sh*t out of Quackity. As if the point of it wasn't exactly to annoy Quackity. Or well, annoying him isn't the end goal, it's just the means to an end. We don't know the actual end goal (though I think Wilbur still wants to either be let into Las Nevadas or actually instate a rivalry between them as he said, one of the two).

"We [he and Quackity] were a part of the same cabinet during New L'Manburg or whatever" "Cabinet?" "Yeah a cabinet is like-" "Was this- was this with Tubbo?" "Yeah yeah" (...) "So you were part of the old L'Manburg? I didn't know that actually, I thought you were a bit of an independent"

Once again: Wilbur is missing A LOT of knowledge. He wasn't aware that New L'Manburg had a cabinet and he wasn't aware that Ranboo was ever part of the country either. He has a lot of misconceptions about what happened during the time he was dead so it really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that his views on a lot of things are as warped as they are. Wilbur is getting to his conclusions with an incomplete and sometimes wrong set of data.

"Do you dislike anyone Ranboo?" "Not too much I don't think. I mean there are other people I don't, like, agree with what they've done of course, but I think that everyone is just a product of what they've gone through and everything so if you understand that then you understand the person!"

There is nothing inherently wrong with Ranboo's reasoning here. It's true that most people are a result of their environment and, once you understand what they've been through you can understand them better as a person. It's also fine that he personally doesn't want to hold grudges. But that way of thinking isn't applicable to those who have been hurt by others, sure they can reach an understanding, but an understanding of a person doesn't justify shit and doesn't change shit unless that person works towards repairing old broken relationships. It just all sounds like a nice way of thinking about things in theory, but in practice, it just takes away responsibility from those who have wronged others to fix things and moves it to those who have been wronged. (Ranboo isn't advocating for everyone to think that way though, but I know the fandom will).

Either way, they arrive in Las Nevadas and Wilbur talks about how their place doesn't benefit the consumer and puts down 3 signs.

"I've been trying to think of a name for it [his and Tommy's area], I'm thinking about 'Paradise'"

There are two possible reasons for the name that I can think of:

1) It's in reference to Las Nevadas itself and how Las Nevadas is based on Las Vegas, the famous city of sin

2) It could be a reference to Tommy insistently calling Las Nevadas Paradise in the last stream and Wilbur trying to convince him that their place is the true Paradise

Wilbur does decide to make the Burger Van right at the border which really feels like a very obvious provocation. The other thing is that he makes it clear that he wants the van to be red and white which could be a random choice, but really feels like a reference to Tommy (since they are famously his colors) or an imitation of their opposition. Or both considering how much Tommy liked the restaurant of the opposition and the fact that Wilbur is still trying to convince him to stay.

"I'm not very fond of blue" (at this point it's obvious that Wilbur has quite a bit of pent-up animosity against Ghostbur. I wonder if it is because it still feels like people liked the ghost more than him...)

"Like, the Cookie Shop, I don't even know if it was a cookie shop, to begin with, because it was a little... fortified if I'm entirely honest, I realize that now" "Really?" "Yeah did you not see- oh wait- that giant stone structure?" (Ranboo really did fail to realize that the cookie shop was actually a military outpost, huh?)

"See, I like Tubbo. He's strong-headed, he doesn't let people push him around, you know?" (this is both an interesting change in what he thinks of Tubbo if he actually thinks that and further confirmation that Wilbur isn't a fan of people he considers to be 'followers')

"Why do you claim that you're so 'peaceful' and 'neutral' and yet somehow appear in almost every conflict this server's had since I died?" (since I saw people claiming this is manipulation already, just know that it isn't. He's just confused because, admittedly, Ranboo is a confusing guy and Wilbur doesn't really know him at all)

"Ranboo, why did you come to help me?" (...) "And then also I just think, you know... you can, you know- I think- I think you're an alright person, you know? So I wanna- I did kinda wanna get off on a better foot with you then what happened-" "Why?" "Just because I don't really like having the thought that people don't really like me" "Nonononono not the bit about the right foot, the 'why don't you think I'm a bad person'" "Well I mean, I think that you did bad things, but like, I think that you also went through things that made you that way and then I also think that you've changed now (...) but I think that now you've- apparently you've been away long enough that I think that if anyone goes away for that long eventually they'll have a thought about their morality and everything and maybe become a better person because of it"

I know this quote was absurdly long, but it is one of the most interesting conversations of the whole stream and it is really important and it tells us quite a bit as well. For one thing Wilbur was left quite emotional from someone simply admitting that he's an "alright person" and that they think he's capable of changing and this does bring him to open up to Ranboo right after. What Ranboo says to be exact is that anyone would have changed after going through what Wilbur went through and that change could be positive and while I completely disagree with it, it's clearly something that Wilbur needed to hear.

Now as to why I disagree with the notion that 13 years of semi-complete isolation could change anyone for the better should be rather obvious. But if it isn't, well, that's torture to put it simply. Psychological torture. Just like abuse it's one of those things that only cause trauma and a worsening mental health state and we see this with Wilbur because he didn't change, he only became more self-deprecating. Hurting someone doesn't make them become a better person all of a sudden, that's really not how it works. Hurting someone makes them become more traumatized.

"I think I scare people" ( as I said, immediately opening up about his insecurities)

"I think that a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them" (for a bit here Wilbur talks about how he feels like everyone else is just waiting for him to step a foot out of line, which does really show that he's still interpreting all his interactions with people through the lens of his paranoia and self-deprecation, because no one is really interacting with him with that objective in mind)

"Dream's had his comeuppance and I've not" (this seems to be the crux of Wilbur's insecurity. This idea that he got off scot-free for his crimes, the idea that the only difference between him and Dream is the punishment that's been bestowed upon them which, of course, is wrong, but he doesn't know this, because he doesn't actually know why Dream's in prison)

"I've been investing into the wrong areas Ranboo, I've been investing into the wrong people" (This is either a reference to Tommy, to Phil, to Quackity, or to all of them)

"We're kindred man, we get each other" (the reason why he thinks that is because he seems to think that Ranboo has a similar type of paranoia to what Wilbur experience himself and he's not entirely wrong. Ranboo is deathly afraid of conflict and of being disliked so much so that he never stands up for anything in fear of angering others)

Little definition of "neuroticism" for you all since Wilbur kept mentioning it: neuroticism, one of the Big 5 personality traits, is typically defined as a tendency toward anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and other negative feelings.

I'd say it's quite fitting for both characters...

"I feel like life dealt us the same cards and the difference is that you built your trust by showing people your cards whilst I- I keep them close to my chest and I feel like that may be the big difference" (I felt like this was interesting. Especially knowing how much Ranboo actually doesn't share and how much he actually also keeps close to his chest)

They talk about tubbo in general for a bit and about what's been going on the server in general. Ranboo also that he's part of both Snowchester and the arctic commune (mostly the latter though).

"This has been chill, this has been good, I'm excited to show Tommy. What's your opinion on Tommy?" "Oh, he's- he's great. Tommy's awesome" "I agree I agree" "Definitely gone through a lot but I think that it's made him a good person" "Well you seem to think that everyone going through something at least gives them some merit you said" "I mean, yeah. I mean if- if no one- the only really bad people are the ones who are just evil because- just because and they don't have any reason why"

Included the whole thing here because if I stopped at Ranboo saying that Tommy going through trauma is what made him a good person it would have sounded really bad. As things are I think that that was just poor wording on his part and that this mostly goes back to the mentality he expressed before about how people sometimes do bad things because of the environment they're in pushing them and this idea he seems to have that actual hardships (like 13 years in Limbo or whatever he knows about what Tommy has been through) can encourage people to be better which is... sort of naive honestly. Again, trauma isn't a catalyst for the betterment of a person, and any improvement Tommy has made came from his self-reflection, not what he's been through.

After they're done with the van Wilbur brings Ranboo to their competing establishment and asks him to smash the windows, which Ranboo does with no hesitation whatsoever. After that Wilbur proceeds to place down one single block of TNT in a corner and Ranboo starts being a little more hesitant.

"You trust me right?" (I feel like that was a trick question considering how their common paranoia is the thing that Wilbur praised in Ranboo before)

Wilbur hands Ranboo the flint and steel to detonate the piece of TNT which Ranboo does, albeit with some hesitation.

"You passed the test, good job man, you go back to the van (...) Ranboo- Ranboo... I'm proud of you man. You've taken a side, you've proven that you can choose a side"

Quite a few people have already pointed out how similar this scene was to the time Wilbur tested Tommy in season 1 to decide if he was fit to be his right-hand man. In both situations, Wilbur gave someone a chance to cause some destruction against someone on the opposite side. Tommy passed the test by refusing to do so and showing that he was willing to uphold his morals and what he believed in. Ranboo passed the test by doing the exact opposite, by showing that, as much as he talks about how he chooses people and not sides, he's not willing to prove that even when all he would need to do to do so is doing nothing.

And it's an interesting scene to analyze as a parallel to that, but it's also interesting to note that Wilbur knows about Ranboo and Tommy griefing George together. He knows that Tommy was the only one to face any consequences for it (not that exile was actually the consequence for the griefing, but this is from Wilbur's point of view). Now putting this in the context of Wilbur seeing himself in Ranboo and thinking that he himself got off scot-free explains this next part perfectly in my opinion.

It explains why he made sure to leave this sign:

To me at least. This is only a theory honestly, we don't have an actual full explanation. But I do think that Wilbur may feel like the both of them never got the comeuppance they deserved, which is why he did something that's sure to get a reaction from one of the most powerful people on the server. Though considering that he also left 2 diamonds as retribution + a chest with all the materials he picked up it could have also been Wilbur's idea of a bonding moment and he could actually really be proud of Ranboo.

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - May 2

I know I say every week that I read a lot this week but I have been indulging in my favorite coping technique and so this list is ridiculously long. Twitter encouraged me. Blame them. 

**Indicates my recent favs 

~*~ 

On the inherent homoeroticism of cake decoration by welcoming_disaster (616/8K)

“She’s matchmaking, Barton,” Carol sighed.

“We,” Thor corrected, thumping himself hard in the chest, “art matchmaking.”

“Who, Cap n’ Tony?” Clint asked, his mouth full.

“Cap and Tony,” Janet confirmed, cutting herself a thin slice of egg and gently depositing it on her whole grain avocado toast, “it’s getting ridiculous.”

“Wait, I thought they were—“ Clint frowned, glancing around the room as though to confirm. Nothing but confused faces met his questioning gaze. “Huh. I really thought they were fucking.”

“And there is the crux of the issue,” Jess licked a bit of spaghetti sauce off her lip.

“Aye,” agreed Thor, “there’s rub.”

-----------

The team tries to set up Steve and Tony. Things don't go as planned.

Baby lovers like you and me (never say die) by FestiveFerret (Old Guard AU/7.5K)

The Avengers. They'd found him frozen in the ice, told him he was immortal, of all things. And with the way he'd lived through seventy years deep in the Atlantic, he found himself inclined to believe them. They'd also been very… convincing.

Without question, they integrated him into their unit - The Avengers, a secret team of unkillables seeking wrongs around the world and making them right, supported and housed by an enigmatic billionaire named Tony Stark. Their immortality, it seemed, was a secret to everyone but him.

Ready, set, bake by ChocolateCapCookie (Great British Bake Off/11k) 

The Avengers are on a nationally televised baking competition, but nobody seems to have warned the producers that the Avengers, while they save the world everyday and put their loves at risk doing so, are a) insanely competitive, and b) absolutely terrible bakers. Steve Rogers, especially, has a competitive streak a mile wide, and he's determined to win this competition, but it's not easy when his only real opponent is also the man he's been in love with for years.

***To make flowers grow (in this barren heart) by SoldiersShield, KakushiMiko (Hanahaki AU/16K) 

“You hide yourself away in your technology, but you are just as human as the rest of them. Your heart betrays your desire to possess.” Her gaze falls to the arc reactor, and Tony's blood runs cold in his veins.

“The Earth will reclaim what we have lost,” she says, dragging a hand over the chestplate of the armor. “It is you, and your kind-- your greed that pulls life from the soil as if it were nothing. You will reap what you have sown, Stark. The avarice in your heart will strangle the very life out of you.” Arna meets his eyes once more, a serene smile on her face as she leans forward.

“I hope he is worth dying for,” she murmurs, before digging her hand into his ribcage.

(Tony Stark falls in love with Steve Rogers. A rogue enchantress ensures he pays for it.)

Shelter from the storm by silkspectred (KidFic/5k) 

Tony adopts a baby. Guess who's Majorly Fucked Up™ about it.

Keep on beating by itsallAvengers (Domestic Fluff/6K) 

There were an awful lot of things Steve loved about Tony. But one thing in particular Steve could never get enough of was his heartbeat.

The good or bad thing by petreparkour (Multiverse/10k) 

 “It’s the metal suit,” Thor informed Steve, his normally-booming voice tinny over the SHIELD comms. “What did Stark call it—Iron Man?”

“But he’s down here,” Steve protested as the Hulk roared in Stark’s face, startling him into waking with a shout. “How could—”

“It’s damaged,” Thor reported. “But it looks different. More advanced. And he—ah. He’s carrying you, Captain.”

“Please tell me nobody kissed me,” Stark breathed out, and then Stark’s voice suddenly came over the comms, but the man lying next to him hadn’t moved.

“Guys, come on, you’re killing me here. What is it, 2012? God, I hate time travel. First, I'm fighting Thanos. Now, I have to deal with my past self and Thor's bad haircut? Oh my God, Cap, yes I hacked their comms, they’re my comms.”

Steve nearly opened his mouth to protest that he hadn’t said anything when he realized that this replica of Tony Stark wasn’t speaking to him.

***The tipping point by nightwalker (Domestic Fluff/7K) 

Tony has a few quirks. Steve's still trying to figure them all out.

We two, how long we were fool’d by glassessay (Soulmate AU/9K) 

Steve Rogers comes into the world as unblemished as his mother. When Anthony Stark is born, his soulmark is an obvious pattern of ink across his tiny chest.

It only takes a century, two names, and a shared love of Walt Whitman for them to find each other.

The tape in the cave by betheflame (Canon Divergent/5K) 

Steve had no idea what was happening.

“You think I didn’t know that?”

Tony was staring Zemo down as though the Sokovian was actual vermin - which, Steve reflected, he kind of was.

“You think that I,” Tony continued, not hiding the sneer in his voice, “Anthony Stark, who has more powerful technology in my literal fingers than most nations have, that I wouldn’t know everything possible about how my parents died? That I wouldn’t know it wasn’t an accident, that your silly little HYDRA Nazi knock-off pals are the ones who murdered them? Please, you are pathetic.”

Happy ending by Robin_tCJ (No-Powers AU/28K) 

 Steve is a mobile massage therapist, and Tony is a stressed billionaire. What could go wrong?

With a decent happiness by torigates (Teacher AU/16K) 

Tony Stark is Iron Man. Steve Rogers isn't, and never was Captain America.

Or, the one where everything is the same except Steve is a kindergarten teacher.

Nothing left but scars by SailorChibi (MCU/6.7K) - Reread

Steve wakes up to the fact that no one ever compliments or even says thank you to Tony, and that he has fallen into the same trap of painting Tony with a specific paintbrush.

This is how he showers a very confused Tony with praise to make up for it.

Our hearts should remember and follow by frostfall (MCU/5K) 

Steve hums. “I didn’t know you could play. Or sing. Don’t think I’ve heard anyone mention it before.”

Tony shrugs. “It’s one of the few things, skills, I don’t flaunt. Not something people are interested in, anyway. Not gonna sway any board members by playing fucking Für Elise for them. Sides’, there’s a high chance I wouldn’t even play. Well, maybe if you get me drunk enough and near an instrument. Then, I might reconsider.”

(After a dream leaves Tony rattled, he turns to the piano as a way to distract himself.)

Finally, you and me by pensversusswords (Multiverse/10K) 

Because in every layer of time, in every conceivable dimension, he was always meant to love Steve.

By some miracle, Steve was meant to love him back.

***Full disclosure not required (but appreciated) by Potrix (Identity Porn/16k) 

The one where Steve knows more than he lets on, Tony knows less than he pretends, Clint has a big mouth, Bucky is a little shit, and everyone learns why keeping secrets never ends well.

Almost never, anyway.

Heartlines by nanasekei (MCU/7.9K) 

“Let me,” Tony repeats. He regrets it deeply, so much, he wants to stick the words back into his mouth again, and it must show, in the way his voice wavers. He feels exposed, all of a sudden, as if he’s asking something bigger than what he can actually say. Let me touch you, let me take care of you. “Just… Let me do it.”

i found a way to let you in, but i never really had a doubt (marriage series) by quidhitch (Marriage Series/16k) 

Tony Stark doesn’t believe in marriage. It’s nobody’s fault. —Well, it’s Howard's fault, probably, but Tony doesn’t like to think about that for too long, finds that it dredges up all sorts of issues he’d rather keep buried under a mountain of strategically employed sarcasm, humorous self-deprecation, and the occasionally effective substance abuse.

***Hide your love away by sineala (Soulmate/33K) - Reread

Tony has suspected for a long time that the soulmark on his chest matches Steve's -- but he's never told Steve about it. And then it's too late to tell Steve anything at all ever again. In the wake of Steve's death, the Skrull invasion, and Norman Osborn's rise to power, the identity of his soulmate is just one of the many things Tony cuts out of his memory forever.

When Tony returns to consciousness, he's forced to deal with the aftermath of a war he no longer remembers fighting, not to mention a Steve Rogers who can barely stand to be in the same room with him. Surely the last thing Tony could ever need in his life is more amnesia. But that's what he gets. And Tony's new missing memory just might be the key to finding out the truth of his soulmark... as well as his chance to make things right once and for all.

Break the chain (can’t live in circles again) by orphan_account (FWB/19K) 

There had been seven amazing weeks of dating Steve Rogers before Tony realised that they weren’t dating at all. And then it was a scramble to adjust to the situation as it had always been: being Steve’s friend-with-benefits.

And if Steve seemed a little confused and bewildered by the way Tony was acting, well. Tony was probably just misreading that, too.

Five times steve and tony (tried to) bail each other out of jail by Teyke (MCU/6k) 

Twice before Civil War, twice after, and once during. For very loose definitions of both 'bail' and 'jail'.

Cracked hearts under iron ribs by XtaticPearl (Established Relationship/14k)

Rhodey is away for almost six months now and comes to meet Tony after the mission. He doesn't understand the domesticity of the whole Tower and unknowingly sets off a whole truck of insecurities which make Tony crawl back into being a Stark instead of just Tony. The team is not at all happy and Rhodey joins them in trying to figure out a way to help their resident genius feel better in his skin.

The single biggest problem with communication by BlossomsintheMist (616/108K)

In the wake of Steve's return from the dead and the end of Norman Osborn's reign of terror, the superhero community is recovering--Steve has taken on a new role and Tony is trying to put his life back together. Things are still awkward between them, but they're determined to put things to rights. But when a discussion about their feelings leads to further misunderstandings, they discover that might be more difficult than either of them realized. Set in the early Heroic Age after the end of Dark Reign, this is a get-together story about crossed wires--and second chances.

What are friends for? by bobertsmallismydad (MCU /2.8K) 

In which Steve is targeted by a virus. Will the Avengers be able to save him in time?

Starving by festiveferret (Vampire AU/2K) 

Steve woke up starving.

***Everybody wonders (What it would be like to love you) by SoldiersShield (MCU/3K) 

“...Is that what this is about?” He asks slowly. Steve blanches.

“Oh my god. It is.” Tony has no right looking as giddy as he does. “Steven Grant Rogers, are you jealous?”

--

Or: Steve and Tony have been dancing around each other for a while now, and Steve's rather content with it. Attending a gala together just might change that.

Re(A)d all over by brandnewfashion, MusicalLuna (Drunk Flirting/3k) 

Contrary to popular belief, Tony Stark can blush.

It just takes Steve getting drunk on some magical Asgardian mead for it to finally happen.

***The Do-over Proposal by nightwalker (Established Relationship/1.2k) 

Steve wants to go on a journey, Tony doesn't think it's a good time, and Bucky needs to beat some sense into both these idiots.

A Winter’s Ball by alliejowrites (Victorian AU/3.8K) 

Steve moves to London in search of a patron, so that he can finally devote himself to painting. He is not expecting everything he finds upon meeting Lord Stark. A fluffy little Victorian AU. One-shot.

What’s a fanfic by starksnack (AvAc/1K) 

Kamala introduces Tony and Steve to the world of fanfiction. There is a surprising amount of content about them being gay.

[lyliah7]

The Bats Shall Dance For You - chapter 1

(Okay so technically it's been the 2nd of October for 13 minutes where I live, but in my defense I spent 4 hours outlining my fic so it took longer than planned, AND I posted on AO3 at like 11:59.)

Summary

Last Hallowe'en, Mildred saved the school (once again) and the founding stone. This Hallowe'en, she just wanted to be a better witch, and Miss Hardbroom's offer to tutor her was the best thing that could ever happened to her. After all, not only would she get to learn even more from the greatest witch there was, she would get to spend a lot more time with her favorite teacher.

Notes

Hi :D

This takes places right after season 2, basically you can forget everything that happened after the founding stone because I am ignoring it (except the fact that Mildred is lantern monitor)

I'm following The Worst Witchy-tober 2021, so each chapter of this fic will be inspired by a prompt. I will try to update every day but I might have some delay from time to time because school and life are hard.

Title from The Extraordinary Esper Vespertilio.

I hope you like it!

English isn't my first language and this isn't betta-read so all mistakes are mine.

No CW for this chapter (if you think I should add some please tell me and I'll add them!)

Fic under the cut. Also posted on AO3.

Hallowe’en is in the air

This morning was like any other morning for Hecate Hardbroom, deputy head of Cackle’s academy. At 5 am she got up to make sure no one was wreaking havoc (it was pretty unplausible this early in the morning but you never know what goes through the head of teenaged witches) and once that was done, she went to prepare her potion laboratory for the day. This never took her long but you can’t ever be too prepared. By the time she was done with her morning tasks it was still only 6 am, Mildred should have already gotten up to put out the lanterns (but she was probably trailing down the stairs while trying to put her shoes on). Well, Hecate would give her half an hour more before checking on her, first she had to make a new batch of Wide-Awake potions because she was almost out of them and that wouldn’t do.

Once the potion was safely bottled in and hidden in her private rooms, Hecate went to tour the castle to check on Mildred and enjoy the fresh air and quiet before it was too late (but mostly to check on Mildred).

As soon as Mildred spotted her, she stopped her broom to say a quick well met and made a slopy bow that almost caused her to fall over (but luckily, she caught herself just in time to not embarrass herself in front of her form mistress, again). As soon as the potion teacher returned the greeting, Mildred flew off to finish her lantern duty and then head off to breakfast. As Hecate looked at her perform her task, a thought crossed her mind unbidden, and since it wasn’t the first time she had this specific thought she decided to talk about it with Ada.

~

Knock knock

‘Come in!’

‘Well met Ada.’

‘Well met Hecate, do you want a biscuit?’

‘No thank you. I’m here to talk to you about Mildred Hubble.’

‘Oh dear. What has she done now?’

‘She has changed since she learned she came from a witching family. She is more focused on her work and does not hesitate to ask me question anymore.’

‘Hm yes, Miss Drill, Miss Bat and Mister Rowan-Webb told me the same. But that’s hardly something that needs to be reported before breakfast. So, what are you thinking about Hecate?’

‘When you gave Miss Hubble a place here, I feared for the craft. And ever since then, mayhem and mishaps have seemed to follow in her footsteps. I thought she might benefit from a mentorship with one of the teachers.’

‘And are you included in this list of teachers, dear?’

‘Well… she… she would hardly want to spend more time with me, and the point is for her to enjoy this… arrangement.’

‘And what makes you think that? After all, as you said she comes to you when she has questions. She could go and ask any of us but she chose you every time. And we all know you are the best witch there is, thus you are the best mentor she could ever have.’

‘Oh. Well… I… If you are sure?’

‘I am.’

‘Well, in that case I guess I should tell her tonight, once she is done with lantern duties for the day.’

And with that said, Hecate waved her hand and transferred away. She had to talk with one Ms. Hubble to get her authorization before speaking with her daughter.

~

‘Miss Hardbroom! You scared me! Don’t you people know it is polite to knock on someone’s door, rather than just appear in the middle of their living room unannounced?’

Ignoring the barb thrown her way, Hecate simply stated that she needed to talk about Mildred and that it couldn’t wait. Once she had Julie’s attention, she explained how Mildred got into less scrapes and how more focused she seemed in class. She told her that while Mildred was still behind her peers it wasn’t for a lack of work or effort on her part, but it was simply because she was missing the bases that every young witch grew up with.

‘It’s good to hear you praising my Millie and finally realizing she is doing all she can in a world she was thrown into without explanations, but couldn’t that be said through a mirror call?’

‘That could have been… done through a call yes. But I wanted to ask you the authorization to offer Mildred some tutoring… with… me. I do not wish for her to be deterred in her hard work, and I fear having more lessons might feel like a punition to her.’

‘You mean, with you.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You mean “having more lessons with you”. You think Millie will hate spending time with you. Well, you don’t have to worry about that. Any time she is home she goes on and on about how great a witch you are. And it would be amazing for her to finally be taught what her classmates learned as toddlers.’

‘Must I understand that you approve of this arrangement?’

‘Yes, I do. Now go and tell my daughter, she will be overjoyed.’

The grimace on Hecate’s face when hearing this sentence cracked Julie up in a fit of giggles, and as the dark-haired witch transferred from the Hubble flat to the sound of the non-witch’s laughter, all she could think about was how similar this sound was to Mildred’s own giggles (usually heard after one of Enid’s many pranks).

~

That night

The potion mistress watched her student lit the last lantern and beaconed her closer.

‘Yes, Miss Hardbroom?’

‘Mildred Hubble… It is… good… to see you taking your duties seriously.’

‘Of course, Miss! I’m a real witch now, after all!’

‘You were a… real… witch before finding out your ancestors were witches.’

‘You really think so?’

‘Hm. I observed that lately you have spent more time focusing on your lessons, and less times causing mayhem.’

‘Well, I’m trying to be a great witch, just like you, Miss!’

If that sentence made Hecate emotional (and it definitely did), she shown nothing of it and simply offered Mildred to tutor her if she so wished. Mildred barely refrained from hugging her teacher after this proposal, her being tutored by Miss Hardbroom? The worst witch being tutored by the best witch? That was definitely the best day of her life! (Well, right after that Hallowe’en her mum took her to a fair and won her a huge plushie of a cat in a pumpkin outfit.)

Seeing Mildred going back to her room with a skip in her step because of the idea of working with her made the deputy’s heart flutter in her chest. Last Hallowe’en was the worst of Hecate’s life, being frozen and all, but this year Hallowe’en might well be her best Hallowe’en yet.

[emachinescat]

I've decided to watch MacGyver from the beginning (again), and I'm live tweeting the experience with every tweet tagged with #savemacgyver. I thought it would be fun to share my collected thoughts from the episodes on here as well.

My Thoughts on S1E2, "Metal Saw"

Seriously love the music in this show!

THE FREAKING BELT GRAB. You can tell they've done this kind of thing before.

I always love it when Jack and Mac have heart-to-hearts in the middle of super intense, dangerous situations. Like... it's sweet, but time and place, guys?

"Hi, I'm Jack." Nervous Jack is bebby.

Ew, sweat. Like, I know it's "realism" to have sweat stains on clothes in situations like these, but that's one bit of realism I can always do without. Gross.

Is that a bit of PTSD I'm seeing with Mac there on the couch? That's a kind of realism I can always get behind.

Riley finding Mac and Boze in that compromising position will never not be funny. "But he was on top." I love Riley more every episode.

Riley is a really good liar from day one.

I love the joke about ex-cons benefiting from being in relationships with stable people (i.e., fake boyfriend Bozer), then the immediate cut to Bozer with his whole arm inside the vending machine. Great stuff.

Love the Riley and Bozer bonding... right up until the cringe-tastic "Slide me your digits."

"Soon, I'm gonna woo you the same way Romeo would have wooed Juliet if they had Snapchat back in the Renaissance." Bozer and his surprisingly accurate pickup lines. The Renaissance did in fact start in Italy around the 14th century, when R&J is thought to take place.

I love all this psychoanalyzing of Mac. "Adapting is his survival mechanism." Also I'm living for Jack sticking up for Mac to Patti.

"This place has been searched by everybody and their dog." Is this a Texas thing or an old guy saying? Either way it's great.

Nothing beats the early days of Mac and Jack. Nothing. I wish we had gotten more interactions where Jack has to parent Mac: "Stop touching that. Look at me." ❤️❤️❤️

Jack so concerned about Mac and putting on the kid gloves = everything I could have ever asked for and more.

Jack has such a big heart. Poor guy, the look on his face when he sees that the reporter is actually Sarah...

Paperclip sculptures: When I first started watching the show, I thought they were lame. Now I miss them so much. Does that mean I've gotten lamer or that they were always cool and I was always lame?

"Closest time I ever came to coming home in a box." Oof. This line hits different now, and not in a good way.

I just love how Jack is this big tough ex-Delta who is so open about his emotions, particularly with Mac. And the way Mac reassures him... Their bromance is top-tier.

"Oh, like when they invented fire!" Another zinger.

Mac grabbing that giant cigar right out of that dude's mouth 😂😂😂

Love some good fight-scene Mac whump! 👏👏👏 And bar fights are always a blast!

Riley with the car door - such a boss. "What? You told me to stay in the car, and I did."

I've seen some people say they don't like S1 Mac's hair. I kind of dig it, to be honest. He looks like he's 5, but I love it.

Mac has made a lot of DIY cutting torches in his time, but they never get less impressive.

Jack trusting Mac to save Sarah while he keeps watch is just *chef's kiss*!

These early episodes have so many MacGyverisms. One right after the other. It's awesome.

I've never been a big fan of the dark either, Mac.

The first scene with Mac and Sarah is so beautifully tense and whumpy (he way he scrabbles for purchase, gasps for breath, that hitch in his voice as he tries to squeak out Jack's name) that I had to rewind and watch it again.

The hopeful disbelief in her voice: "Jack Dalton came for me?"

Sarah can kick some serious ass. I can see why Jack likes her. Too bad she's about to lead him on the rest of the episode, while actually having a fiance...

Sarah: *leans out of car, shooting her weapon with deadly, terrifying precision* Riley: I agree, this woman should not have kids. 😂 Everything that comes out of Riley's mouth is gold.

Riley asleep in the back of the car while Mac sits quietly and Jack and Sarah have a sweet moment is like mom and dad with the kids in the backseat. Except mom has a fiance and hasn't told dad yet, even though she's had ample opportunity.

Because seriously, Sarah. It's not that hard to tell him the truth. Giving him those big eyes and flirting with him, thinking he has a chance is just cruel. I have never liked her character, and this is why.

Mac and Jack giggling about Jack's crush on Sarah like middle-school girls is life.

"You're just gonna have to let that go." Man, I love their relationship.

Gosh, the scene where they find Luis always hurts so badly. These early episodes did not play around.

"There isn't always time to beg some suit back home for permission to do what's right." I'm not a fan of Sarah, but I love this line. Also, this is pretty much the synopsis of the whole show.

Riley's hair used to be so LONG! 😍

The loyalty of these three! And I love the OG trio so much.

This sleazy guy in the computer place makes my skin crawl.

Love how Patti's like, "Mac will be back by then." Not Jack, not Riley. Just Mac. Can we say teacher's pet? I actually lowkey love this though.

"Who is this guy?" Much like Doctor Who's "It's bigger on the inside," I never get tired of people being equally amazed and confused at the stuff Mac can do.

I've never been the biggest car chase junkie, but Barrios jumping over the car using that log in the road is pretty dope.

Sarah's rage is chilling. And Jack talking her down breaks me every time.

Again, I love the loyalty of our team. Everyone sticks up for each other, ending with Mac's totally unbelievable but still somehow 100% genuine "It was me. I forced them." TOO good.

First mention of Oversight this early. Just thinking about who it is that doesn't like unsanctioned ops just makes me 😤 I wonder if the writers knew who OS was at this point or if it was a later development.

I do wish we could have gotten more conspiratorial, approving Patti. She's so much better than expressionless, bland Patti.

The way Sarah never told Jack about her fiance Jeff (who is in fact a cinnamon roll but still a discount Jack) pisses me off. "I tried to tell you." Yeah, right. It's not that hard to say, "Yo, I'm in a relationship."

Jack NEVER should have found out about Jeff the way he did. There's no excuse.

It's not okay, Jack. She did you wrong. You didn't deserve that. Stand up for yourself, man. Gosh, he's so broken here, and I hate it.

"At least we have each other... Don't look at me. I know how weird it sounded." THESE TWO I SWEAR 🤣🤣🤣

Poor Mac. I do love how we get his obsessive tendencies so early in the show, and how they keep coming back, even as late as season 5. As someone with clinically diagnosed OCD, this makes me feel seen and I love being able to relate to my favorite character.

Love the found family antics at the end. Riley and Bozer making dinner while Mac and Jack play basketball? Perfection.

Lol, Bozer calling Riley a "caramel goddess" has such Schmidt/Cece vibes from New Girl, and I dig it!

Ew. More sweat. I know some people find sweaty men attractive, but that is NOT my vibe. I prefer my men clean and freshly laundered.

The way Riley glances back over her shoulder at them as she walks away, as if to make sure they're really there, that this is actually real!!!

"That's not even... that's true, actually. That's sad." Jack 🤣 Also, "I'm hungry." Big mood.

As a Grandpa Harry stan from the OG show, I eat up any mention of him in the new one. I just wish we'd gotten more of that wonderful man in the reboot. Still, I'll take what I can get!

I'd honestly forgotten how much I enjoy this episode! So solid, full of bromance, found family, and lots of good-natured bickering. Can't wait to watch the next one, hopefully tomorrow! In the meantime, please keep fighting for our show! Together we can #savemacgyver!

If anyone wants to join me in my re-watching and tweeting adventure, please do! It's my way to take about an hour a day in my busy, busy life to commit to the #savemacgyver movement. (And to enjoy my favorite show yet again!) If you do tweet as you watch, make sure to tag EVERY tweet with ONLY #savemacgyver so we can keep that hashtag trending! :)

Thanks for letting me share my (numerous) thoughts on this episode. This was really fun, and I hope it's something you all enjoy, too. I'd love to know what you all think of the episode in the comments! ❤️

[zwiezraczek]

Could I get No. 9 with Ben Hardy in BohRhap as Roger Taylor? I'm female and use the pronouns she/her. Thank you!! 😍 Ps: also really like the numbers with 1D references 😅

Don't Blame Me For Falling [Blurb]

Note: First of all I missed writing so much like aaah and thank you for this request! I hope that you like it and that I managed to do what you expected! 💕 Ps: Thank youuuu! 😘

~~~~

Roger has always been the one. You couldn't truly put your finger on it, but your heart and soul always knew that he would be there for you in every situation. And he indeed was, since the very beginning. Since the cradle and right after the kindergarten. It always made you smile when you thought about this little boy with his blonde bowl cut running all around, holding your hand and being the girls' lover, all the girls' one of course. But at the very beginning, you didn't even seem to care about the fact that he was this popular around girls, and even boys sometimes, because you were his best friend and at the end of the day you knew that you would share your lunch while sitting on the sidewalk. And these were the best memories you had of Roger and you, the sidewalk and first the cookies, then the cigarettes when you were twelve and alcohol when you were seventeen.

But mostly first and foremost he was a drummer, and probably the face of every band he was playing in, and you couldn't blame his colleagues for taking advantage of it. You didn't mind it either, or at least you thought that you didn't. Then, he had told you that his mother wanted him to become a doctor, so he started to study in order to become a dentist, still pursuing his drumming hobby, a hobby you liked very much especially when you looked at him squinting his eyes – because he absolutely refused to wear glasses, it wasn't “rock 'n roll” enough as he used to say – and focusing on every beat and every sound he was leading. And you liked watching him play, you liked how he bit his lips while hitting the drum with all his energy, radiating a sunny light behind his drum kit and being the one everybody wanted to see and not even Freddie – the new addition to Smile – could compete with his angelic look and his beautiful eyes shining bright under the spotlight.

He couldn't blame you for falling for him, him and his laugh, his smile and everything he radiated. But you could blame him for focusing more on the groupies than on the actual gigs he was doing. As much as he loved playing music and began to hate his studies, having girls around him seemed to become his favorite hobby when their group Smile that morphed into Queen became more and more famous, attracting people from the whole town in order to listen to them. You knew it was because of the music they were playing, this organic sound that seemed to come from nowhere but was to be expected from four so different people – an art major, an astrophysics one and an electrical engineer and a dentist to be – but Roger's charm was playing a huge part in their success, at least everyone in the band seemed to think so. And you couldn't let this little crush ruin everything you had with him, because you didn't want him to break your heart as he seemed to break those of the girls around him craving for attention and for a kiss on their lips. A kiss you wanted too, but a kiss you refused to ask for.

“Where's Roger,” Brian asked as you entered the backstage with a bottle of water for them all, somehow you ended up helping them during their gigs or at least to bring him some food or water from the bar they were playing in.

“Probably found another group of girls to hang around with,” you bitterly answered as you put the bottle on the table in front of the couch they all were sitting on before sitting on its armrest.

“What's wrong darling,” Freddie asked as he put his arm on your tight with a genuine smile, “you don't seem well right now.”

There was something in Freddie's eyes that made you like him from the very start, him and his open-mindedness and the fact that he didn't hesitate to befriend you, and treat you as family because he saw that you were almost family for Roger. And you looked down at him, sighing.

“You know... Roger,” you said rolling your eyes and Freddie just pat your tight a few times.

“Unbearable little blond one, I know. I still don't know how you manage to put up with him after all these years... You must be a saint darling!”

“I wish I was,” you replied with a lighter mind. “He was always around, so I worked with it.”

“You should teach us how to survive with him,” Brian jokingly said and John simply nodded and you began to laugh.

“Is this the laugh of my favorite princess,” you heard Roger's voice coming from the door and you turned around and saw his pretty still sweaty face facing you, his eyes locked on you.

“Depends if you're talking about the blonde that was around you tonight or me,” you wittily replied with a smirk.

“Oh y/n, don't be so jealous,” he teased you and put his hands on your shoulders, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“Y/n's a saint for being your friend, honestly, she is truly a saint,” Brian repeated and winked at you as you smiled.

“She understands me better than you Brian, even if you're here for a long time, she has the benefit of the time.”

“Of the cradle and the kindergarten, and I have some pictures of Roger having a bowl cut,” you added and you felt his hand becoming a bit more tense around your shoulders and his chin leaving your head.

“No way,” Freddie almost screamed, “we absolutely need to see this!”

“Don't you dare y/n” Roger said and you turned around again, looking up at him and sticking out your tongue. “You won, you absolutely deserve my pouty face, absolutely.”

“Roger has a pouty face,” John asked, breaking his silence and making Freddie laugh.

And he proceeded to not pout, but to be salty about it instead as Freddie made fun of him while drinking some water and other things that some of the staff had brought them during the night. You promised them to help them pack their things at the end, and usually you ended up helping Roger with his drum kit, and usually it took you longer than it should because of the fun you always had with his cymbals as he was telling you to stop. But this time, you stole one of his cymbals, and began to run away in every direction, like a child, like when you were both four and he tried to catch you after you had stolen his favorite toy as you were running for your life. And there you were, both in your twenties, running around a place you barely knew, you with a part of his kit, and him chasing you in order to gather his things. You were giggling, laughing, and the others knew that your games with Roger always ended well so they only smiled when they saw you passing by.

And this time, he cornered you. Technically, it wasn't the first time, knowing that he was always the one who knew better the places where they were playing than you did. Which was pretty much obvious. You faced a wall, with your cymbal, or his cymbal instead. You closed your eyes, and sighed; you couldn't hear footsteps behind you because you knew he had stopped running and was standing behind, looking at you, waiting for you to capitulate. So, you turned around, facing him instead of the wall, with a forced smile because you knew that it was the end of your journey there. You waved at him, faintly as he began to walk towards you.

“In my defense, your honor, I was just trying to learn how to play the cymbals,” you said as he approached you with a smile and your back began to touch the wall right behind you.

“With only one cymbal?”

“I call this genius.”

He sighed, with his face really close to yours, and you blamed the hotness of the place for the redness on your cheeks. You were drowning in his beautiful eyes, as you did often but now particularly you couldn't resist them. The silence between the two of you became quite peculiar, soothing but also tense with an unknown feeling. A feeling you tried to repress for a long time. His fingertips touched your cheek delicately and you looked at him, a bit taken aback.

“I’d like to kiss you,” he whispered and your eyes became wider than the sun. “Joking… Unless?”

“Unless I'm the blonde girl,” you managed to say, with your sparkling witty eyes.

“No, like for real, y/n,” he whispered with his raspy voice and you had to fight yourself to not let yourself go.

“Like for all the other girls that you kiss after gigs, am I right?”

“What can I say, I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch,” he told you jokingly and you rolled your eyes

“Your mom wouldn't be happy to hear that,” you told him and he shrugged, “and I'm not neither.”

“I want truly to kiss you, y/n,” he repeated, “I just want to know if... I can.”

“Depends if you mean it,” you replied as you were truly about to kiss him, feeling your teeth on your lower lip, “depends if it's not only a game, like the other girls.”

“You're not the other girls, you're my princess and I want to be your prince.”

He sold it all. You dropped the cymbal as you pulled him closer by the shirt, pressing your lips against his. You had always wondered what his lips tasted like, it seemed they were made of vanilla and cigarettes and they were gentler than you thought. His hands wandered on your hips, as yours made their way to the back of his head, playing with some strokes of his hair while you kissed him, passionately, lacking air from time to time, losing yourself and everything around.

He probably was an arrogant son of a bitch, but it seemed that he was your arrogant son of a bitch.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 48 - watching notes

I've got more tissues prepared because Yunmeng bro feelings always hit me HARD and that's where I left off last time

I find it kinda sweet that lwj is defending Wen Ning

It makes so much sense for Jiang Cheng to immediately bring up his old resentment cor the way his father treated then up. It really all goes back to that. The feeling of being always second best, both to his father in comparison to wwx and to wwx in comparison to lwj. And while wwx sacrificed his core because he thought of himself as inferior to Jiang cheng (not in skill but in worth), to Jiang Cheng it comes off as him once more playing the hero :/

All in all THESE IDIOTS NEVER LEARNED TO PROPERLY COMMUNICATE

Also the way Jiang cheng says "then what am I?" Reminds me a lot of the way he grieved for his core

You know what fucked me up most during this whole conversation?

Because that's it. He can't! 😭

He still loves wei Wuxian and he can't understand why wwx never chose him. Why he chose to protect lwj and the wens when he knew it would endanger their clan. And from that perspective, I get it. I feel like to Jiang Cheng, his clan is everything. It's only natural. He is the (future) clan leader and he was raised that way. It was always going to be his responsibility and at the same time, he always had this very clear cut role in their society.

But wei Wuxian? He loved their family and he did feel at home at their clan, but he was still very much an outsider. Madam Yu hated him, people kept calling him a servant when it suited them and told him to mind his place as such when he spoke up. He could emphasize with the outcasts of society because he himself never truly left that outsider status behind either!

Which left him and Jiang Cheng in opposing positions with no way of understanding the other's point of view

... while still loving each other

😭

Because all they were in the beginning, was two boys being brothers 😥

Which leads me to the conclusion that, once more, the true enemy of this story isn't any single person, it's society.

Okay, sorry that this essentially turned into meta. That's probably not what you're here for, but as thus show comes to an end, I have FEELINGS and THOUGHTS and I need to get them out 😅

I have another rant in my head on whether or not I think wwx was right in transferring Jiang Cheng his ckre without telling him, but I'm holding that in for now 🙈

That I'm sorry. From BOTH of them. 😭

THAT'S GROWTH!!! 😭😭😭

Wei Wuxian saying that it's all in the past now made me cry. So. Much. Because it's an ending. It sounded to me like he wanted to wipe the slate clean. No promises. No betrayals. Start anew. And ... I'm not okay 💔😥

Hey Nie Huaisang. Welcome to the party :D

Um ... what's happening?

Are they ... burning?

Jin Guangyao played with fire and got burned or what kind of metaphor is this?

I'd be about as good as nie Huaisang at hiding my reaction in that situation, tbh ^^

This is the weirdest hostage situation I have ever seen, with everybody just running around sind no one even guarding the hostages

The hell is in that tomb? 😳

Wait ... nie Mingjue was the headless corpse? And okay, the head is obviously seen back on here but ... how did it get there so quickly and WHY is Jin Guangyao surprised?? Wasn't he in possession of the head??

I.am.confused

Poor Huaisang :'(

And poor Jin Ling. He's learning quickly just how fucked up his family is 😬

*dramatic thunder in the distance*

👆 favourite trope of mine :D

It's an oldie but a goodie

Wwx understands something I don't ^^

Also nice to know that even when they're both without powers lwj will still protect his husband 🥰

Okay, so ... someone put the body there. The same somebody who orchestrated everything else

WHO??

Omg, I love how wwx plays at Jin Guangyao's paranoia by essentially manipulating him as he did others and then turns to lwj, with a little shrug and a half smile like

CAN I PLEASE GET 50 EPISODES OF THESE TWO SOLVING MONSTER OF THE WEEK MYSTERIES TOGETHER? 😭

So they FINALLY thought it was a good idea to actually restrain their hostages. Genius!

Wait ... Su She has that hole curse, too?

OHHHH

He was the one who cursed Jin Zixun???

I hadn't even thought about the fact that that was still an unanswered question! 😱😱😱

Jgy telling wwx that they were always going to end up on opposite sides is SO interesting and betrays a level of self-awareness I would not have afforded this guy

The thing is, su she raging at lwj for this is really the wrong address. Not because what he says isn't at least partially right (lwj was born into privilege and there is a stark disparity in how clan disciples and peripheral disciples are treated), even in the lan clan, but not BY lan Wangji. He's the guy who knelt before his uncle and let himself, the sect leader's son, be punished alongside the servant's son.

It's fascinating to see Jin Guangyao's mask fall

And his view of wwx is even more fascinating

He deliberately used wwx status as an outsider to society in combination with his impulsive and righteous character to further his own agenda of setting his own status as an outsider

It's like the ULTIMATE Slytherin vs. Gryffindor story line 😁

Also SOCIETY IS THE VILLAIN!!!

I'm not gonna lie, Jin Guangyao nakes some good points. Not saying he's not a terrible person or that he's not responsible for his own actions, but still he's successfully identified a lot of systematic problems in the cultivation world 🤷‍♀️

... and then proceeded to horribly exploit them for his own benefit *sighs*

Very sneaky, Wei Ying. I don't know what you're doing it, but good job getting him to keep talking

Xichen really be regretting all his life choices right now

It breaks my heartba bot, knowing that they really did bond that first time they met. And Xichen believed in him ever since 🥺

As sorry as I feel for him, I'm pretty sure it's going to get worse 🙈

OH MY GOD WWX CAN CONTROL GHOSTS BY WHISTLING ALONE NOW?

That is simultaneously SO cool and SO creepy! 😱

And kinda hot

On a related note, I realized that wwx is basically a Necromancer Bard and now I really wanna play one

Ohhh, the sword ghost!

😳

Isn't Xichen without powers right now?

No!!!

Puh, su she didn't kill him

But now I'm confused how lwj can use his powers

Ohhh

He's got the stygian tiger amulet?

I'm missing some crucial bit of plot here because I fo not know how he could have gotten it

I mean ... Xue Yang had half of it right? So ... is it this piece?

HE PLANNED THE WHOLE THING ALREADY BACK THEN??? 😱

Or ... not the whole thing? I feel I'll have to watch the show again just to discover what Jin Guangyao even knew and when 🙈

The way jgy looks at Xichen, there us real affection and regret in his gaze :(

Still I did not see THIS coming

He does care for Xichen, doesn't he? Who always saw the best in him. Never once treated him as below him for who his mother was.

But I dont think lan Xichen will give him a second chance right now, tbh. Just from the way he acted, he looked like his trust was irreparably shattered 😥

Meanwhile...

Wwx is tired of your monologueing :D

I apologise for the weird mix of stream-of-cosciousness musings and half-formed meta musings 😅

Also all the typos ...

(And who sent the letter and hit the body??? 😭)

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose

Tomorrow I'll watch the jast two episodes and ... I can't quite believe it 😔

I'm just happy that I'm reading the book now and still got so much to look forward to there, otherwise I think l might draw out this show even longer

[hirazuki]

Ooo I'm curious about your hot takes on the Inuyasha reboot after reading your tags 👀

Ahaha, where to start XD Idk if they are hot takes, but here are my thoughts in bullet point form for coherency, I couldn’t figure out how else to organize them. Under a cut, as usual, because it got lengthy... as usual :D

We are 13 episodes in, and I still have no idea wtf is going on or what the series is actually about. And yes, I’m aware that we didn’t know of Naraku’s existence or of the overarching plot until at least episode 16 of that series either and Inuyasha was still very episodic in nature at that early point too, but here’s the thing: Inuyasha did not build upon a pre-existing series. For better or for worse, Yashahime has certain expectations to live up to that the original anime didn’t, by virtue of its being a sequel. Unfair? Maybe, but tough; that’s what happens when you make a sequel. Additionally, despite us not knowing The Main Plot™ of Inuyasha until later, the basic framework for it was laid out clearly by... episode 2? I think? Find and collect the Shikon Jewel shards. Boom, done. Were there distractions or fillers? Sure, but you never got the sense that the characters simply up and forgot about the shards. Even in fillers, the shards often made some kind of appearance. With Yashahime, there’s like three potential storylines going on: 1. The most obvious: most of our main cast from the OG is missing; where are they? Apparently no one in-story cares! :D Inuyasha, who’s that lol. I’m all for a sequel focusing on the new generation with cameos of the old crew; after all, they already had their own series. But this is like... no one cares about them? No one talks about them? And the more characters go about not mentioning them, the stronger their absence is felt. Like, for instance, Kaede knows Moroha is InuKag’s daughter. Moroha grew up on her own, doesn’t know her parents. Kaede doesn’t mention them to Moroha, doesn’t even spare a passing thought about them for the audience’s benefit, Moroha doesn’t ask. Kagome’s family in the present day meet Moroha, recognize her as Kagome’s daughter and... say nothing??? Souta shows Towa Kagome and Inuyasha’s old photos, but doesn’t say a word to Moroha?! Like. It makes no sense. By people not even acknowledging their existence, it makes the fact that they are nowhere to be found even weirder. Also the new gen girls don’t care about their parents or finding out who they were/are... like, okay, it would maybe be in character for one or two of them, but all three don’t give a fuck??? 2. Kirinmaru/the rainbow pearls: Idk how familiar you are with the story, but similar deal with Naraku and the shards here. Kirinmaru is being set up as the villain, still a mysterious figure; our new gen trio is supposed to collect the rainbow pearls that... some of his henchmen have? Or he is after them? Or is that Riku? Unclear. ANYWAY the new gen girls often forget all about the pearls’ existence :D 3. Setsuna’s memories: Setsuna’s dreams have been stolen by the dream butterfly and they need to get them back, because without her dreams she has no memories and is unable to sleep. Cool! Finally a solid, easy-to-follow plot line! Except wait! Towa, who supposedly made it her goal to get Setsuna’s sleep back, forgets all about it! All the time! Like, none of them make an effort to look into this other than being like “oh yeah, know anything about the dream butterfly?” to random folks every now and then. The Inugang back in the day was putting some grad school level research towards their goals, just saying. It just feels like everything’s all wishy-washy and there’s nothing really solid tying the series together. People just remember shit exists when it’s convenient.

.

Character development is MIA. I’m not expecting ground-breaking char dev in 13 episodes (though I do know 12 episode series that were phenomenal in that regard), but like... I do expect the series to focus on building the dynamics between the main three characters. So far, the series is more focused on teasing the audience with glimpses and promises of the OG cast instead. The creators are using nostalgia and bait (esp of a certain pairing) to drive interest in the series, rather than developing the new characters as fully-fledged characters for their own sakes. 

.

Moroha is was the only thing I actually liked about the series. She is a little spitfire and you can somehow instantly see both Inuyasha and Kagome in her, while she also remains very uniquely herself; I have never seen such a successfully developed main pairing child in any series. She featured quite prominently in the first few episodes -- and unlike both her parents, she’s got a great memory and knowledge of lore -- where she balanced funny moments with badass fighting moments and being the token supernatural encyclopedia. It was great! And then... they’ve like... forgotten her. She’s been left behind so many times by the twins. She’s the butt of every joke. She’s become the type of comic relief that’s, well, insulting. More like a buffoon than anything else. And it’s basically all for the sake of giving the floor to Towa :/

.

Setsuna is okay. Not offensive, but unremarkable. She’s got her dad’s personality but like way toned down due to her different growing up circumstances, which is nice, but like... I feel she isn’t given any room to grow or breathe or anything. She’s also basically there as a device to enhance Towa’s development.

.

Towa... oy. I tried to like her, I really did, but she just doesn’t work for me. They set her up having a very Kurosaki Ichigo type deal with beating up bullies and getting into trouble at school and shit -- I’m fine with that. That’s cool. Esp if it’s linked to not feeling like she fits in bc she’s a hanyou? Awesome. Except once she travels back in time to the feudal era it’s all “Oh killing is bad you shouldn’t kill people” and “even though they attacked me I can’t possibly hurt them” and “you need to empathize and talk things out” and “friendship is magic” and shit. It feels like she had a personality transplant, it literally makes no sense. Her design is totally nonsensical too -- out of everyone at her school, she’s the only one dressed in a bright white suit? Do protags not wear the school uniform? Someone should tell Kagome lmao. She’s a pro at hand to hand, and she can absorb demons’ powers and fling them back at them like a personified Tessaiga, and she has a lightsaber sword, and she’s immune to miasma, and -- like... you get it. It’s too much. It’s way too OP for the type of universe that Inuyasha/Yashahime is set in. She’s hanyou for fuck’s sake; remember all the training Inuyasha had to go through? When he couldn’t lift his sword? When his sword attacked him? Sango, Miroku, Kagome, even Sesshomaru all had trouble with their weapons and had to work to become stronger. But Towa? Nope. Towa is straight out of the Yas Queen/Girl Boss manual, so she gets a free pass on everything.

.

UGH they are doing the VLD/bad writing thing where things happen (like, BIG THINGS) and none of the characters actually react to them. Or stuff happens and there are no consequences. No one ever talks about anything. It’s wild.

.

Everyone has amnesia!! :D People either don’t know or don’t remember anything or anyone. People who absolutely should know things all of a sudden magically don’t know them. Like, Kohaku -- traveled with an undead priestess, spent years in the company of demons, traveled with Sesshomaru... and yet had NO CLUE that Setsuna is Sesshomaru’s daughter or that she is hanyou, despite her living and working with his team of demon slayers all this time. Like... how, man. How. And Kaede! Don’t get me started. Since when does she perpetuate random demon-boogeyman type stories as facts? Demon children will kill each other in the nest so that only the strongest one will survive, therefore Setsuna must have killed Towa when they were infants. O_O What are they, sharks? Has she been hanging out with Kisame? Wtf?? And she’s speaking about Sess’s kids as though she doesn’t know him or anything about him, when she has had Rin under her roof all these years. It just makes. no. sense.

.

Things that happened in the original series are happening again now! Because that’s the best we’ve got, recycled plot elements wooo! No, but really, characters that died or things that were resolved in Inuyasha keep coming back. Why? What was the purpose of bringing back Kinka and Ginka? To have a foil for Towa and Setsuna as twins? Someone please tell Sunrise they can just create new characters. Like, it’s one thing to have call backs to the original or cameos, references, whatever. But like... this is entire (dead) characters and interactions.

.

No one knows how long it’s been since the original series ended. Fans initially heard 20 years from promo material, then “over 15″ and “10 years since” in-series regarding two different events, and now in a future episode summary we’ve gotten 18 years since Hosenki II gave Inuyasha the black pearl. But like, which black pearl? Because the one in Inuyasha’s eye doesn’t exist anymore, but Hosenki II had told Inuyasha that it would take 100 years for him to produce one. So, are we retconning that or where the fuck did it come from? Also, this doesn’t help one bit, it just confuses things even more. Back to the point, though, we have no coherent timeline or real frame of reference whatsoever, and I’m betting it’s in large part to keep the mystery of who is Sesshomaru’s wife going, as it keeps Rin’s age very vague. Everything is vague and mysterious in Yashahime, to the point where no one knows what’s going on, in fandom or in-story even. It’s kinda like how too much plot twist/shock reveal ruins a story, too much mystery does the same. It’s insane that both shippers and antis of that ship can lay equal claim that the “18 years since” announcement works in their favor.

tl;dr: Idk man, Yashahime is a clusterfuck of a series. Even if the mother of Sess’s twins is either of the characters I ship him with, I will still not like the series. There’s no saving this writing. Every episode feels like this:

[albatris]

Hey hello I sent in an anon about starting tarot a while ago (I do not know when I know it was post quarantine starting but...time is wild) and i was wondering if you answered it? This isn't at all me trying to pressure you please please don't read it that way, i totally get it if you didn't! I just know that tumblr's search function is very broke and I'm scared I missed your answer, which would be sad. (I hope this doesn't sound like a bother it's genuinely all good if not I'm just checking!)

YES oh my gosh holy shit hello hi yes hi anon my dear I did in fact completely fucking forget to actually answer your original ask I am so sorry lmao

thank you for reminding me ajhdfgjhsdfg and again I’m so sorry it took me forever anyway I’m gonna just uhhhh look up your original ask real quick

OKAY so resources and starting decks! there are lots and lots of people who know more than me so I feel a little unqualified to answer this but I can tell you my thoughts?? but I definitely recommend looking into what other folks have to say on starting out, I’m sure there are lots of different opinions and ideas! :D

also sorry, it’s me you’re asking, so you’re not gonna get nice neat dot points and I’m not great at being concise, I’m just going to ramble if that’s ok, very sorry, very sorry

under the cut rambles

so........................

for learning meanings........ it’s a lot of work, there’s a lot of detail and a lot of different things to think about during readings, I’ve been learning tarot for around seven years on and off and I still don’t remember everything! 

so IMO it’s best not to come at tarot with the intent to Learn Everything before you start! it’s the perfect thing to learn as you go! my advice would be to just kinda throw yourself in. when you first get a deck, go through the cards and vibe with them some and look at their meanings, but mostly just kinda contemplate them, don’t try to memorise everything at once. start doing readings, look stuff up as you go............. I would recommend keeping a journal where you document your readings............ which will help you with memory and picking up on patterns and connections....... uhhhh

I really like using apps as a companion as well!  they can be a super good resource even if you don’t want to use them FOR readings necessarily

I use Galaxy Tarot as a convenient way to look up meanings and summaries of the cards when I just need to kinda jog my memory (though the descriptions aren’t super detailed), and it has a function where you can either do a reading with the app or you can do a reading yourself and then plug the cards you’ve drawn into the app, and it can help you with pointing out recurring themes and symbols and connections between the cards, which can be handy when you’re first starting out and maybe feel a little overwhelmed by the Amount Of Information you’re trying to take in

uhhhh another one I’ve used in the past is Labyrinthos Tarot, which is an app to help you learn and memorise the cards and their meanings., from what I can remember there are sorta, games and exercises to help with it, I forget exactly how it works since it’s been a while since I used it! but maybe that’s a good one to check out too?

I feel like apps is something i should’ve mentioned at the end but anyway moving on to the rest of it

most decks will come with a guidebook of some sort! so you’ve got the traditional rider waite tarot deck (which is probably the default deck most people think of when they think of tarot), and there are plenty of resources online such as Biddy Tarot which can give you a fairly detailed rundown of the card meanings! these meanings can be applied to variations of the rider waite cards, but lots of decks are a little wild and a little funky and are off doing their own thing while still following the basic rider waite structure, and if you receive a guidebook with a deck, that’s definitely an invaluable resource!! ‘cause it’ll give you the artist’s kinda interpretation and their meanings, their own personal touch, even if you then look up the card in more detail online

ALSO tarot is just a whole fuckin tonne about intuition as well though! so as much as it can feel like something where you need to focus on all the details and try and keep them all rigid and by-the-book, you might do a reading and feel yourself drawn in a certain different direction or just get a “feeling”, so you should definitely be open and flexible and listen to what your gut tells you as far as meanings go! plus, you will develop your own relationship to the cards and maybe draw your own personal meanings and associations! that’s definitely not something to fight against and don’t worry about whether that means you’re doing it “wrong” - you should listen to those feelings, those r important!! :D

lastly I will say, it can be helpful to have someone who is more experienced with tarot around who you feel you can ask for advice from or get second opinions from if there’s something you’re confused about! or who can give you tips and tricks from firsthand experience. like, it doesn’t have to be something you learn alone, and having a teacher or companion can be really helpful in terms of bouncing ideas and getting new perspectives! I throw this out there because I always forget to say things like this, ‘cause I forget that other people Are Not Me and other people like being around people lmao rip

and as far as starting decks go........... it really depends so much on what you want and what’s important to you! some people will say start with the traditional rider waite tarot, and if you decide to do that, you will certainly have a lot of resources at your disposal! it’s a valid place to start for sure

but there’s also SO many different decks out there with all sorts of themes and art and personality, and IMO......... I’d kinda urge you in the direction of choosing something you’re personally interested in and engaged with! it can make connecting with a deck easier and can help you stay interested and engaged during learning! but that’s just me

when I got my first deck the lady in the store kinda just took me to the collection of decks and just asked me which ones I vibed with and which one kinda called out to me or one I was drawn to, then she let me take a look at some of them and she showed me how to handle them and use them!! this was my first experience, n I was told just to go with what Feels Good And Right

n there’s so much cool art out there! and many interesting themes! you might not know which one you’ll latch onto until you see it, so take some time to look around and see what speaks to you c:

for instance, certain themes like cats or flowers, certain art styles, maybe certain series you’re into (I have two welcome to night vale decks n the raven’s prophecy by maggie stiefvater), or queer friendly decks! I have the Numinous Tarot which I ADORE, which is a deck with gorgeous artwork and extremely queer, all gender neutral language and lots of diverse designs, etc

so it depends what you’re into! take some time to feel it out, my friend

I would also like to throw out a mention to oracle decks as well! I actually started with oracle decks long before I used any tarot decks c: 

I am................... very tired. and blanking on the best way to explain the difference between oracle and tarot decks, but you can look into this if you’re interested! lots of people use both or use them in conjunction with each other and there’s benefits to both n so on and so forth........

but in terms of Starting Out, and getting comfy with doing readings? they can also be really helpful in this regard! I found since oracle decks can have any number of cards and are less “structured” than tarot decks in a way, it can be really helpful as a way to get comfortable with things if you find, just, the Amount Of Detail that is involved in tarot decks overwhelming!!

it was something that helped me get the ~feel~ of doing readings and sensing with the cards and vibin and such, n get some practice drawing connections between cards and deriving meanings from the stories the cards present! but in a way that’s not quite as...... overwhelming?? as traditional tarot decks?? I was SUPER intimidated by just how extensive tarot decks were when I first started and I thought I’d never figure out what I was doing HAHAHA

but again, it’s just practice, I think!

where tarot will follow the same 78 cards and structure and is very traditional and I guess “rigid” is not exactly the right word?? but yeah?? oracle decks are a lot more flexible in what they represent and a lot more loose in the structures they can take

I do love oracle decks because of how varied they are!! each one is its own little system and its own unique universe and it’s really quite lovely, even if you aren’t into Actually Doing Readings with them, y’know?

but then, I find tarot decks the same way, what will all the different art styles and different people’s interpretations and renditions of the same story, like, it’s really fascinating!! 

this has just turned into me rambling about how cool they are now

point is, do a little research into what sorts of decks and themes you might like to buy, when you get a chance I thoroughly recommend visiting a store so you can speak to someone who has some experience with tarot decks, they can help guide you when it comes to picking one and giving you some tips!! remember that it’s about intuition and following your gut as much as it is about memory and precision, so you should pick a deck that Feels Right

and uhhhhhhhhhhh

just kinda throw yourself in!! that’s literally my best advice!! you’re never gonna memorise everything beforehand (I’ve been learning on and off for seven years and I still often have to consult guidebooks and webpages) but you WILL absolutely learn as you go

it might feel very clumsy starting out, but as with any craft, you will improve with practice and begin to feel more comfy and confident with it as you go!

I hope this helped out some!! maybe!! possibly!!!!! ok goodnight!!!

[cancerbiophd]

hello! i was looking through your career stories tag and was inspired to ask for some advice of my own. lately i've been feeling very lost in undergrad. in high school, i was super successful, had goals and stuck to them, and had a path in mind. however, i ended up revising that plan a million times, and now i feel super behind in comparison to my peers. i feel like i lack a ton of skills and that i'm not where i should be (1/2)

(2/2) do you have any advice? and do you/your followers have any stories about people who were successful, got stuck in a rut, but found their way back? i keep reading stories about people who didn’t do well in school then found a successful career, but i never hear about people who were successful in school, got lost, then recovered, and it makes me wonder if there’s hope for me

Hi anon! (Thanks for sending in that 2nd part again after tumblr ate it the first time round)

I fee like I took a similar path to you, and before I launch into my story, here’s my advice on some things you can try:

Break the bad habit of comparing oneself to others. We are all unique, with unique pasts, presents, and futures. To compare two people’s achievements or lack of achievements is unfair. That’s giving an experimental treatment to a sick person and another to someone already healthy and then comparing the results directly to each other. Not a good scientific study huh. Well, we should look at our lives like that too. It’ll take time and practice and a lot of active thinking, but let’s all try our hardest not to compare ourselves to others. We are all carving out our own paths. 

Talk to others with experience and get their insight. Talk to your professors, your counselors, your parents, your parents’ friends, and even older students (like me!). Ask them for advice. Ask them what opportunities you have. Ask them what career choices one can make with your interests and goals. Basically, broaden your knowledge of what’s out there in the world so you can find a niche to fit in. I really wish I had done this because I was very myopic in that “interest in biomedicine” = “clinical doctor or bust!”. I didn’t know that I could go to grad school to study cancer research and then go work in a biotech company (my current path and goal). 

Once you find a career path that interests you, try to experience what “a day in the life of” is like. Because something that sounds great on paper may not be a good fit in person, and vice versa. Options for this include: volunteering, internships, entry-level jobs, shadowing, informational interviews (where you talk to someone in the field in a casual setting and ask them what their job is like), and well-rounded research. Doing things like working in the field or even shadowing also gives you the benefit of learning transferrable skills that could help you on your next step. And that brings me to:

Take a gap year (or a few) if you feel like you need it, especially if you need to gain more experience in a certain field. It’s also a great way to give your body and mind a well-deserved break after decades of school! I took a gap year (well, 2.5 years) to work and get lab experience and it was the best. 

Do not give yourself a timeline. This sounds… counter-intuitive, but what I mean is: do not set goals like “dream job at age 30!!” “a house at age 31!!” because they may be a) unrealistic, and b) could set us up for disappointment. Also, we need to realize that we don’t know what the future will bring, and that it’s also ok to take one’s time. We’re all gonna live until we’re 70-80 anyway right? So let’s just take things one step at a time. We’ll set goals and work towards them, yes, but let’s not set deadlines for ourselves. We’ve had enough deadlines in school already! 

Don’t give up. Things will be ok. I know it’s not.. super helpful for me to say this, but it’s a real point to make. No matter what happens, keep trying. We can’t reach the light at the end of the tunnel if we stop walking forward, yeah? 

I hope those points are helpful. If you’d like more detail, or have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me!

Alright, now to my story, because I feel like I may have gone through the same thing you’re going through right now, so I want to let you know that times may get tough like it did for me, but if you keep going and trying, things will eventually be ok:

Just like you, I was pretty darn successful in high school, also did well in college (like good grades, had goals and met them, etc). I always knew my path was going to lead me somewhere amazing, because that’s how I was brought up my entire life. Then I got stuck in a rut because my original plan A (med school) turned out to not be right for me, and then plan B also turned out not right either (pharmacy school), and then I got straight out rejected from plan C (physician assistant school). I even had to change my major 3 times because of my change of plans (well, one change was because the US recession hit and my college had to cut my original program ugh), so I had to really cram my classes into the summer. I graduated college with a degree that wasn’t going to get me where I wanted to (B.S. in Microbiology, and jobs were still hard to find because of the recession, and basically nowhere to go. I had no job and had no idea what to do (or what I really wanted, really). So I moved back home with a feeling of emptiness that no end in sight. 

My plan was basically to find a job that would open doors for me in the biomedical field. I even got my pharmacy tech license, and I was applying to receptionist positions at clinics. It got to a point where I was so desperate I interviewed to be someone’s personal assistant and they were like “you are way too qualified for this I can’t hire you”. 

And I was so confused as to how I could’ve ended up on the wrong path. I mean, I knew what I did wrong (I didn’t do those point of advice I gave earlier because I didn’t know I had to do them). But I didn’t know how it went so wrong. How did I go from straight A/B’s and proactive student leader in a bunch of clubs to unemployed with no concrete plan in sight? I was bright. I was a hard worker. A fast learner. I knew I could be good at anything I did. This rut I was in wasn’t really supposed to happen. And all the while my friends were going to grad/med school or starting successful careers–a fact my narcissistic and emotionally abusive mother would remind me of every. waking. moment. She would scream at me every day that I was an embarrassment, a disappointment, a “poor investment”, etc. The look of pure hatred she would give me–I have never seen that on another person’s face ever. I couldn’t even see my friends because she essentially put me on house arrest as “punishment”. 

It really was absolute hell. I was cleaning some old storage boxes recently and I found my old diary from that time, and inside was a note. It was a note of despair and resentment and an ending that may have happened… I don’t remember how I got the strength to keep going, but I think I had conjured up the slightest sliver of hope that night, put down my pen, closed the journal, and went to bed. 

So, I kept at it. I studied for the GRE, I looked up grad school programs, and I kept applying to jobs in the biomedical field. I got picked up by a temp agency that was hiring out contract workers to local science companies, and even interviewed for a few available positions. Things were looking a bit better. 

Then I saw a job ad on craigslist looking for a research tech at a lab at my old college. I applied, interviewed, and was turned down. Bummer. Then my mother (in a rare moment of helpfulness) asked a friend of a friend who was a PI in a research institute in Florida if they wanted a totally free unpaid intern. I had a skype interview and they accepted, and I was getting ready to move halfway across the country to be a volunteer with a Bachelor’s degree when I got an email from another new PI at my old college. She had gotten my application from the first PI who I had interviewed with and wanted to meet to see if I could be her research tech. And then literally a week before I was supposed to move to Florida that PI told me she wanted to hire me. Oh thank god. I had graduated in May, and got hired at this position in October. Even though it was only 5 months, it felt like forever for me to finally find my way out of the dark cave and back into the light. 

This PI did research on cancer biomarkers. Working in her lab was one of the best things to ever happen to me: I got the lab experience I was missing, I found a love for cancer research in particular, I applied for (and got into) grad school to study Cancer Biology, and I met a coworker who eventually became my husband (and you betcha we invited the PI to our wedding and asked her to give a speech lol). 

I graduate (hopefully) next semester with my PhD in Cancer Biology, and my husband and I plan on moving to Seattle (a biotech hub) afterwards. I plan on getting a post-doc position at the Fred Hutch Cancer Center, then a scientist position at a local biotech company, and then see where that takes me. Life is good now. Things really did turn out ok. 

I’m so glad I never gave up. 

And I hope you won’t give up either, anon. I pray you don’t have to go through anything as tough but! Yes there’s still hope for you! There is always hope

[d-noona]

MAKE OVER

Chapter 16: New Year’s Eve | FINAL

Jung Hoseok x Reader

Reader as Kang Hyeonji

SUMMARY: When Kang Hyeonji transformed herself into a striking redhead, the entire male population of Seoul stood up and took notice. But her make over was for Jung Hoseok’s benefit alone. He began to show interest in the new look but not in the way she wanted. Suddenly he was over-protective, perhaps a little jealous. It seemed that the idea of having a relationship with her couldn’t be further from his mind. The girl however wants more. So it was time for an ultimatum. If Hoseok didn’t want Hyeonji to lose her virginity to another admirer, he had no option but to make love to her himself.

The party was in full swing, a large motley collection of people having gathered in the Jung's house to celebrate New Year's Eve, plus the engagement of Hoseok to his long-time girlfriend slash next door neighbor, Kang Hyeonji.

As the glamorous guest of honor, the happy couple were dressed for the part. The proud groom-to-be was resplendent in stylish Balenciaga navy trousers, an open neck Gucci blue shirt and a suave cream silk sports jacket by Supreme. is bride-to-be was stunning in a strapless party dress of emerald satin by Chanel, with an even more stunning emerald and gold choker gracing her elegant neck. It had been a Christmas present from her adorning fiance, one of many he'd lavished on her during the past year.

Hoseok had, in fact spoiled Hyeonji rotten with gifts of expensive clothes and jewelry, not to mention his myriad smaller purchases of chocolates, flowers and perfume. He'd taught her to drive in his precious car, and would've bought him a new car if she'd let him. Then there were the fantasy getaways he'd taken her on, weekends here and there at romantic places designed to seduce and soften even the hardest of hearts. Not that Hyeonji was a hard girl. Hoseok knew she wasn't.

But she'd been surprisingly difficult to win, he'd found to his consternation. He'd never been quite sure of her feelings. She'd keep him dangling, had often been late for dates, and had sometimes even dared to cancel them. He'd never quite known where he stood with her, which had been both irritating and intriguing. Only in the love making department had he been sure of his domination over her. There, she was a putty in his hands, melting at his touch, quick to be aroused and always willing, no matter how often he wanted her, or where.

She'd never said no, even when there;d been some danger of being discovered. His choosing precarious places, such as behind rocks at the beach or in a sparsely filled movie theater - had sometimes soothed the sense of emotional insecurity she instilled in him, he'd almost felt loved. There'd been no doubt she craved him sexually; could not deny him. But was that love?

Till Christmas Day, when he'd produced an engagement ring for her which would have done Elizabeth Taylor proud. It was huge brilliant-cut yellow Argyle diamond, set in white gold. But it had been his words as he'd given it to her that had seemed to do the trick. "This cost me a fortune, Hyeonji," he said. "But a fortune means nothing to me without you. Marry me, my darling. I love you so much and I think you love me. You don't have to say you do if you don't want to but it would be nice, just once, to hear it from your lips."

Hyeonji had stared at him and then burst into tears. He gathered her to him and heard the words he'd been dying to hear all year. "Of course I love you. Don't you know that yet? I love you, Hoseok. With all of my heart, I love you. I love you..."

He looked over at her now across the crowded living room and caught her eye. She smiled at him, brown eyes sparkling. It wasn't so much different from the smiles she'd given him before, but tonight he saw the love in them. Why hadn't he seen it before? Hoseok was about to walk across the room to join her when someone tapped him on the elbow.

"Hello, you gorgeous hunk, you. If I wasn't married, you know, I'd given Hyeonji a run for her money." It was Choon Hee, from the library. One of Hyeonji's best friends.

Hoseok smiled "You would have to be good."

Choon Hee nodded up and down. "You're right. Hyeonji's a grand girl and I'm very happy for her. You don't know how lucky you are."

"Oh, I think I do..."

"She's loved you for so long, you know." says Choon Hee

Hoseok was about to say he didn't know at all when he stopped himself. It was then he realized Choon Hee was off in another world, smiling at something in her head.

"I can still remember the day she came into the library and told me about Mr X. You must remember Mr X, Hoseok," she added, glancing up at him.

"Only too well," Hoseok said dryly, and he lifted the glass he was holding to his lips.

Choon Hee chuckled. "I nearly cracked up when she told me about him, especially when she said you hadn't twigged. I mean...you have to admit it's very funny, but rather typical of men, not seeing beyond their nose. But I dare say you've laughed together about it since."

"Laughed about what?"

"About you being Mr X, of course."

Hoseok's drink froze midway to his mouth. He stared at Choon Hee over the glass. She grimaced, then groaned. "Oh, dear heaven, you didn't know. I always assumed she'd told you. Oh Lord!"

Hoseok could hardly think. He was Mr X. His head spun with the news, and all it implied. Hyeonji had loved him all along. But she'd also lied to him, laughed at him, manipulated him. She'd been a schemer, as Tinashe had warned she was. He recoiled at his thought, and his feelings showed on his face.

"Don't you dare take that attitude," Choon Hee warned.

"Dont you DARE! That girl loves you. No, she adores and worships you. Always has done. But did you ever see it? Not on your nelly! You sailed on through your glamorous privileged life, tossing her a few crumbs from your table when it suited you. You didn't give a fig for her feelings. You took her for granted and you broke her heart."

"But that's not..."

"Oh, shut up and listen!" Choon Hee snapped. "So what if she protected her self-esteem by inventing Mr X? So what if she had some fun with it? She'd had little enough fun in her life at that point in time. Give credit where credit is due, Hoseok. When she saw her chance she went after what she wanted. She changed for you, lied for you, fought for you. And she won you, by God - won your love and your respect. Look at her, Hoseok. She's beautiful and very brave woman; a woman in a million. Don't you dare tell her I told you about Mr X. Don't take her pride. Go on letting her think you believe she once had a Mr X in her life, because maybe she needs that Maybe she...Oh my God, she's coming over. Promise me, Hoseok. Promise me, you won't tell her I told you."

"I promise Choon," he said faithfully. "And thank you...for making me finally see the light."

Hoseok watched the girl he loved walk towards them, a lovely smile on her lovely face. He felt humbled and incredibly moved as the full import of Choon Hee's words sank in. Hyeonji had always loved him. Oh, how cruel life could be sometimes. And how wonderful. He saw now why he loved her so much. Because she loved him so much. He must have sensed in it at some subconscious level, had known that to let her go would be the worst, most stupid thing he could ever do. He vowed now he'd never let her go. Never.

"What are you two sneaky devils talking about over here?" she asked, glancing from one to another. "You two were looking rather very serious, Choon Hee. You too love."

Hoseok's heart kicked over. Never had the word "love" on her lips sounded so sweet, or so touching. He wound his arm around her slender waist and pulled her against him. "We were having a very serious discussion on having children in this day and age, weren't we Choon?"

Choon Hee laughed. He could see the flicker of surprised pleasure in her eyes "I've been wanting to discuss children with you. I would like to have a baby quite soon, but I wasn't sure about you..."

No, he thought, understanding dawning. She still wasn't sure of him. It was a cruel legacy of all those years when he hadn't noticed her, hadn't wanted her. That's why she kept him unsure. She'd been protecting herself, had made him keep proving his love over and over. There was still a lot of work to be done, he realized, before she would feel totally secure in his love. But having children together would be a good start. He gave her a reassuring smile, and a loving squeeze.

Hyeonji gave a self-conscious laugh. "How about nine months after the wedding day?"

"How about six?" he returned, squeezing her again. The wedding date has been set in March.

"I think this conversation is getting too private for me," Choon Hee exited.

"Hoseok laughed "I like your Choon Hee. I think we'll ask her to be Godmother to our first child."

"Our...first child?"

"You don't honestly think we're going to have only one child, do you? Only children are notoriously spoiled."

"Yes, well..."

He kissed her. Then kissed her again. "Wanna get out of here?" he murmured

"Where?"

"Your room" Hoseok smirked.

Hyeonji sucked in a startled breath. "Mine? But it...it only has a single bed in it."

Hoseok took her hand and began drawing her from her room. "Single beds were just made for lovers." Hoseok loved her, Hyeonji, the simple, solid girl who'd always loved him. He would make sure she would never doubt it again, and he would never cause her to.

Midnight came with cheers and shouts, whistles and car horns. People spilled out of houses into the streets below. Everyone was kissing.

No one missed the guests of honor.

Back to Masterlist

[aspoonofsugar]

I know this might be weird but can you pinpoint what Eren actual plan is actually is? I still don't believe his declaration and i'm sure there is more that meets the eye. Can you give any other probability of what his real plan is judging from his character before his POV was shut off. Can you also include how the role of Kruger memory and advise to Grisha helped shaped the current Eren since I see a lot of similarities between the two in this final arc

The same dude btw. Do you have any theory on why Eren set up PATHS discord to declare his goal. Don't get me wrong but so far Eren intention has been presented as noble even though his method and goal isn't. The intention we have gotten from other character POV btw is to protect his friends and Paradise. What then do Eren benefit from monologuing like a stereotypical villain before unleashing his plan? He isn't the type to instill fear into people before killing them. That's OOC for him            

The wall titans will take days or even weeks before they realistically reach the shores of Marley. Maybe it cause of bias but if I want to commit a genocide with something as slow as the wall titan, I will cut off flow of information so that they will meet their doom by surprise. Also thanks to him announcing his goal, he has helped clear indecisiveness for any Paradisians that's opposed to that outcome. Did he really expect Armin to sit still and allow him after what he pulled in 112?

Lastly, in Eren memory shard. We saw a shard of the fez boy whom he was looking at the last night. The general consensus among the fandom is that Eren decided for the genocide after what transpired in the meeting but if Eren really went out of his way to meet that boy after he ditched the SC, that kind of puts a dent in his genocide plan cause that shard looks to pure with the hand placed on shoulder and the whole body language. Sorry for rambling too much. I know it kind of makes other         

characters development pointless if Eren isn't genuine. But it's just like saying Mikasa character development when Eren died is pointless cause Eren came back alive. I don't know if I make sense

One question, I want to ask about Kruger word on the wall " you have to complete your mission if you want to save Mikasa, Armin and everyone". Are we supposed to ignore that line or is it retconned or what? Many of the analysis I see base off of post timeskip Eren with no POV and ignoring established themes. I just see a lot of theory about big bad Eren and I can't help but wonder considering the scene was emphasized by both Grisha and Kruger. I feel like something is missing            

Hello anons!

These asks can be answered together. I am also sorry for the wait since it has been a while since  I have received them.

I have talked about Eren here and in particular I have said this:

Finally, when it comes to Eren’s future development, I currently see two possibilities.

a)  Either we are given more information through Historia and his POV and this new information can modify the reading of Eren’s actions up until now.

b) He will grow and develop because of the actions of the   other characters exactly like them will grow because of his current   ones.

I think that point a and b which describe two possible ways in which Eren can gain future development lead to two different machro-theories I see going around.

1) Eren plans to turn himself into humaniy’s enemy, so that humanity can join hands, fight him and overcome their struggle in the meantime.

2) Eren’s wish to protect his home and loved ones coupled with his future memories led him to think that destroying the world is the only way he can ensure Paradis safet and so he is doing so even if he knows it is wrong.

I call them “machro-theories” because they can be interpreted in numerous ways and each one has a different nuance and a different spin to it. I am also sure that other explanations could be found, but, as for now, they are the two I find more plausible.

They can both make sense under certain conditions and I think they are the two ones that would have the more foreshadowing if proven true.

Now, let’s address some points you make against theory 2 and in favor of theory 1.

1) The boy with the fez.  I don’t think him appearing in Eren’s memories disproves nor proves anything. Him appearing in Eren’s memories shows how much important was that night for Eren himself. It is the last night he spends with the people he loves before leaving them and starting to act coldly towards them. What is more, the child is a person who reminds Eren of his past self since he is a victim of war and a refugee like he was. Because of this, it makes sense that Eren was such impressed by the child since he represents both his past self and how people outside and inside the walls are the same.

As a matter of fact even if Eren is indeed doing what he seems to be doing it does not mean that he does not realize its gravity (different from the Jeagersists). He clearly does. That is why he cries after seeing the child. It is because he realizes he will die together with other people when he activates the Rumbling. Or at least the hapter implies this.

Alternatively, in case theory 1 is correct, Eren crying might simply be because he is somehow giving up on his past and possibly on his future since he knows he needs to sacrifice himself.

2) Eren’s speech to the world Eldians.

As the first anon said in their asks, it might be a trick Eren is using to stage himself as the only true monster in order to unite the world against him.

Alternatively, someone (whose name I don’t remember, so tell me if yuou know) noticed that the Founding Titan powers seem to work without specific restrictions. So, for example, when Eren ordered that all the hardening had to become undone, not only the walls, but also Reiner and Annie resented of the effect of Eren’s order. So, Eren might have wanted to announce his plan only on the Eldians of Paradis, but ended up bradcasting to all the world Eldians. That said, I don’t find the theory that convincing even if it is interesting simply because Eren’s words seem to be directed to all Eldians.

3) Eren as an antagonist being against the themes.

To this I disagree. As a matter of fact a way to explore a theme is to have the MC have a tragic arc which embodies the opposite of a story themes. Because of this, having Eren who wants freedom ending up representing freedom’s opposite can be an effective way to explore the theme of “freedom”. If anything Eren manipulating everyone, so that things go according to his plan is something which risks not to fit with the idea of freedom. As a matter of fact, having a single character giving “freedom” to others through manipulation seems kind of hypocritical. That said, there could be ways in which theory 1 can be proven true without this happening. So we’ll see.

4) Kruger’s words. I have talked about Kruger’s words here:

He might be doing it because he has seen  Kruger mentioning to Grisha that if he learns to use this power  correctly he can save Mikasa, Armin and everyone else. All in all, just  this hope might be enough for him to push forward in a confused hell despite the fact he has only partial information and that he might very well mess up in the process.

In short, the panel of Kruger mentioning Armin and Mikasa is clearly important and I think that that panel together with the one of Mikasa in chapter one have still to be explained and will be in the future. What is more, I think they are connected to the Attack Titan piower somehow.

When it comes to Kruger’s words it is possible that, as I say above, Eren is also animated by them in doing what he is doing. As a matter of fact being told by my future self that doing something will save the lives of people I love might be a reason good enough to do whatever I am told. I also think we might see Eren sending himself this message in future chapters.

In conclusion, both theories 1 and 2 are still possible. They have both positive and negative aspects to them.

For example, having theory 1 be true would make difficult to understand why Eren could not simply tell the others about it. Why did he have to risk the destruction of the world hoping that a bunch of people who could have died countless times would join together and stop him against all odds? This is something which seriously needs to be addressed not to make the whole situation ridiculous and it can be addressed either by adding plot-points which make Eren’s choices understandable or by clearly showing that Eren was wrong not to tell others.

At the same time, for theory 2 to be true there is the need to find a convincing reason why both Historia and Eren’s POV have been hidden from us up until now. If Eren wants to destroy the world and that is, why have we not been shown his pov and why is there still mystery about a meeting between him and Historia? Similarly, there is the fact that it makes no sense for Eren to have told Floche his plan and not people he truly cared about. As a matter of fact even if he wants to destroy the world, why should he want a group like the Jeagersists rule over Paradis considering they are a threath to people like Hange and Levi he cares about?

All in all, why is he pushing Armin and Mikasa and the others away? No matter what theory is true, it must address this point.

These are my two cents as per now.

Have a great day!