#i literally took a video of myself with my phone out at the correct time because i thought i might have to prove i was there

[pbandjesse]

I felt so bad today I had to stay home. My voice was totally gone. I couldn't even laugh!! Nothing would come out! Terrible. Uncomfortable. I was not having a very good day.

I didn't sleep great. I actually fell asleep sleeping on my back which I literally never do. I just couldn't get comfortable breathing on my side.

When I woke up I was coughing so hard. We think I have bronchitis. James told me I shouldn't go to work. And they were correct. I was worried about moving the car to the correct side of the street. And they said that if that was what was worrying me then they would go do that.

I would wash my face and did my lotions to try to feel better. But I still needed to stay home and stay in bed.

I don't remember James leaving. Which made James very worried when I told them that later. But I just somehow missed that conversation. Like I remember them coming in to check on me. And asking if they should bring anything home for me. But I missed them saying goodbye. So I was slightly distressed. But I would be alright.

My voice was very hoarse. I decided I should just try my best to not talk. Rest my voice and my body.

I would have my little sandwich James had made for me. Today was not exciting. I had my sandwich and enjoyed looking out the window. I watched a lot of videos. I texted with Jess. I texted with Celia. We came up with a silly plan about voting for best bird of the session next summer. I was not feeling great but I was trying to be positive.

I would gaslight myself into thinking I was fine when I didnt cough for a few minutes and then I would cough so hard I thought I was dying. My chest and throat feel bruised. It was pretty rough.

I thought about sleeping. But while my body was exhausted from coughing, my brain was totally awake. So I just spent a lot of time playing on my phone. Writing emails. Watching videos. Jess told me to be nice to myself and I was trying!

I just wanted to be fixed. I accidently kicked Sweetp and couldn't even apologize. It was tough.

I got an email from a fieldtrip next week and there was a mistake on our end with our calendar. Which then lead to a bunch of phone tag with Alexi and Elizabeth. I didn't realize Elizabeth was still on jury duty. And she didn't know I was home and it was just a lot of back and forth trying to figure out how to fix this. And it'll be fine but it is a little annoying we got all flip flopped.

James would come home soon enough. And we had discussed how I wanted taco bell. So they would take me there. Which honestly helped me feel a lot better. After they cooled off and I got shoes on, they had a quick call with Dante. I tried to say hi but it was just a squeak. And then we were off.

We drove out to Brooklyn park. And got to watch the pretty sunset over the water. Speaking of water there is going to be an event soon to jump in the harbor because it's safe to swim now. Mostly. I want to jump in the harbor?! James does too.

We got taco bell. It was great. I ate it on the drive back and it was exactly what I wanted.

When we got back here James took all our Halloween decorations down. Hung up the blanket I got them as a wall tapestry. Love it. We will wait to put our Christmas decor up until Thanksgiving. Though we need to get our Christmas egg down. We are trying to start a tradition. The ceremonial opening of the egg. Which is a little Christmas scene inside. Love the egg. We opened it last year after Thanksgiving dinner. That's the tradition. We're going to make it a whole thing.

We have been hanging out since then. James made themselves pizza dough. I laid in bed. Eventually I went and took a bath and it helped my chest congestion a little. But I'm still suffering.

I am going to try to sleep soon. I want to go to work tomorrow. So I really hope I feel a little better then I do right now. When I just started coughing so hard I started crying. Sucks. I do not like this.

I love you all though. And I hope we all feel better

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

05.03.24 - Happy Friday! We are hoping that the spouse gets a positive call about his job prospects today; everyone send good vibes! It's a gorgeous day so the vibes in the environment are on our side as well.

Work - So yesterday I ended up doing 3 mailings: 2 normal ones (an efile out to a plaintiff for DRM, and a cover letter & Rule 26 mailing for DDR) and a super extra large one. CSB also filed a Rule 26, but his case has been ongoing much longer and so the filing was also much larger. Nearly a thousand pages printed and shipped out to the correctional facility via FedEx for the I/I plaintiff. You can imagine the kind of time that took.

However, I have nothing more to do today except lazily argue with NYM to add players to cases, and knock out a mandatory training that's due Monday. I am glad I work from home on Friday for this very reason; DRM asked for another mailing this morning but it can't be my problem.

Background Noise - Well I'm remote working so the background noise will mostly be the DVR, except for a couple half hours or so of downtime and when I cook.

I did 21 videos yesterday and I'm super surprised and proud of myself for that.

Study - Friday is Wikipedia day, so I'll try to read some more pages - particularly those on my phone and tablet - today and over the weekend.

So I did get busy enough yesterday that I didn't read a single page of a book; however, I did read four press releases, five articles on the cost of living, two articles on the Post Office Horizon scandal, and three Wikipedia pages on my phone while I stood at the printer.

I might try to read a couple of pages of some of my books over the weekend, since I did Wiki stuff yesterday.

Extras - Friday, so I have to clean the catbox and prep it for the weekend; I want to do some stuff outside and in my basement as well. It's going to rain this evening so I have comfort food planned - homemade shrimp ramen for dinner. Literally finishing the last two episodes of Turboranger tonight, and the very last episode of Freakazoid; starting The Tick animated series, & continuing with Garo over the weekend so I can finish up Carranger next week. Mini-essay done early; looking like I might get another full essay posted today as well. Go me!

[the2amrevolution]

[Medical/emotional/social vent/dump/update]

Now that I'm recovered from covid (just a little lingering sinus drainage) and because I know being in public will only get worse until January, I went out in hopes of finding a final few easier to get in person than try to order/cheaper to go to the store rather than pay shipping items. I took a kn95 with me, plus have had surgical masks in my car the whole time. In less than two minutes wearing the kn95 I was overheating, feeling woozy, and sweating profusely. Tried switching to the other mask, but it didn't really help.

Two years ago I could walk around indoors, same type of clothes (shorts and a t-shirt because I literally can't wear anything else if Im moving or indoors or its above 50 degrees) with a surgical mask on and I would get sweaty, but it wasn't like this. My undergarments were completely soaked in sweat. My shorts and shirt were wet to the touch on the outside like someone who has been working out in the sun.

When I sit on the couch, I have to have a fan pointed at me or I will start sweating just sitting there. My hair and shirts are damp most times I wake up, and I can actually feel my body get hotter when I'm falling asleep. I can also feel the reverse when I wake up. Its like having cold water dumped on me on a hot summer day, except as I'm going inside, so I'm freezing for a little bit.

I'm banking a lot on my weird test results and working diagnoses being correct, because if I'm wrong, then, this time next year, I may not be able to leave the house at all. I also may not be able to be awake and able to stay awake long enough. My ability to drive hasn't been directly affected yet, but the act of driving is fatiguing and so I can't do it a lot in the same way that sitting upright on the couch doing a craft or playing a video game is fatiguing.

Because I got sick, plus the holidays making it more difficult to get appointments, I decided to take all of the supplements that either are directly the treatment for my working diagnoses (luckily prescriptions arent needed for these disorders like all my other ones) or have therapeutic value, and then pause them again once I get an appointment. I have a general idea of how fast my body burns through them versus the norm, so I have an idea when I need to stop taking them to have accurate results.

I dont have much idea of when to expect to see positive results. My next few months will be me waiting in limbo.

Tests may confirm the diagnoses or may not, but they can't say the diagnoses are wrong either. Treatment is the only sure way of knowing, I just want measurable data points to track.

I'm not active in the hobbies and communities I had been active in because I can't be anymore. Leaving the house for light shopping is about it beyond watching shows and being on my phone. Any art, crafts, video games, chores, etc. has to be balanced with sleeping. It's been extremely isolating having my disability worsen like this.

I was really enjoying myself in a small corner of a larger fan community. I wasnt expected to create anything or participate in any games or voice chats or watch parties. I could just enjoy SKZ and chat with the group. Then I was suddenly banned this week.

I hadn't been told I was at risk of being banned, and I tried hard to correct any time I was told I crossed a line in some way. I didn't argue. I didn't complain. I took note and moved on. Sadly, all I can figure is the line they had drawn for me was not the same as the line drawn for everyone else, and nothing I could have done would have changed that. So now I've been cut off from people that I was getting along with and have no explanation as to why I was subject to a different standard than the rest of the group at all. I had never been informed that anyone had an issue with me, and, like I said, when I was informed that I had broken a rule, I did my best to not do it again and to use clear rules available and what other posts were allowed as guidance.

I dont think I ever even had any topics/reasons in common across the posts that I had been told crossed the line. I don't even remember ever really disagreeing with anyone about anything even. Literally I can only think of two conversations where someone maybe could have even thought I disagreed with them, but I also remember emphasizing that I agreed with them on the point they had made to begin with. So, my pov was "yes, I agree/that's true/you aren't wrong. This is information that may be /why/ xyz happened or /if/ this other thing had been the case then it could be different but its not or this is a personal experience that has similarity to yours that I am using to demonstrate why I agree about Point."

It felt like I was back in high school all of a sudden except I cannot think of any reason anyone would have to deliberately twist what I've said or if something I said made them doubt my character so much, why I couldnt have been given opportunity to try to sort things out. When I was banned, I had not done anything wrong between that moment and the last thing I'd said that got removed - which, again, was not related to any other post that I had had removed, I realized how it could get misunderstood, and I didn't argue about it. I reworded what I had wanted to say, and that wording was well within allowed content and would require deliberately applying a meaning that I never said to be anywhere in the realm of rule breaking. At that point I wasn't given a final warning, and if I had been, directly according to the person who deleted that post, I didn't do anything wrong when I was banned - the ban was for things prior and "making several people uncomfortable" which is what I can't help but question the veracity of seeing as I was never given a chance change whatever caused that nor had anyone I'd interacted with privately seemed to have any issues with me.

I did express that I felt like I was being judged differently than others and gave specific examples after being banned. I also pointed out that if people had complaints about me, I had never been made aware of them, so I had no opportunity to do anything about it. I literally did everything I could to stay as in the rules and be as respectful as possible to everyone. I had no beef with anyone. But, idk, egg on my face I guess.

Anyway, I really need to be right and for this treatment to work or I'm going to be the most isolated I have ever been in my life, and I dont do well when isolated.

[my-darling-boy]

how do you do your photo sessions? is it just you and your camera or is someone else taking photos ? theyre all so cool and im rlly curious as to how you do it !!!!!!

I’m so glad someone finally asked this, I was just talking about this with someone and honestly it is SO funny.

The trick is: as long as you’ve got a camera, luck, and at least one tripod—along with understanding of some basic photography and a good imagination—you can do a LOT. I’m known for having whacky set ups! My sister helps me with them when I can’t do them all myself and let me tell you, we’ve come up with some weird things. I’ve been teaching my sister what I know about photography and film over the years, so she’s been a big help getting my own photos done, and in return I do ones for her.

In most of my photos, I’m in the bathroom. I don’t care what you think you see, I’m probably in the bathroom. Bathrooms have great lighting most of the time, and our bathroom has a skylight which is great natural lighting. If you don’t have access to a lot of professional lighting, setting up rigs in front of windows is great. I love using everyday objects and making them look ambiguous to suit my needs for a different object. My “halo” is literally a paper plate. I’m wearing a pillowcase. I set up the camera, my sister just had to check my positioning and lighting and click the button since I don’t have a remote.

Again, I am in the bathroom. I’m still sitting on top of a counter. This one, we stacked some boxes haphazardly and put our lighting on top, which is usually this really bright survivalist lantern. I also taped a clip lamp to a tripod. My sister was standing on the opposite bathroom counter. It was so hot in there so I was in shorts and thigh highs, but you wouldn’t know that just by the photo

I was in my bedroom for this one! A couple of tripods, an edited background, and a suggestive expression was all I needed to make this look like the Lieutenant and I were having a Good Time in his trench lodgings. If you don’t have an actual historical object like a swagger stick, a wooden spoon with a thimble on the end works too (as I found out). If you get creative enough, there are tons of objects and clothing you can fake. And yes my phone mount for the tripod is literally a macaron box I fashioned to hold my phone

This is a great example of knowing how to frame your subject. We loved the treeline in the back garden because it resembled being out in nature, but we have a rather unattractive space out there surrounding it. To solve this, I got up on a high stool and my sister knelt down below and shot the photo from the nearer the ground. You would never know just out of frame was a garage, a trash heap, a shed, a truck, and other suburban houses.

I’ll let you take a guess as to where I’m at for this one.... yes it’s the bathroom again. This time I’m by this awkward corner on the floor near the tub. We stacked a hamper on top of the tub and rolled some foam into a cone to direct lighting from a phone and lantern at my face. There was no angle to take the photo without running into the tub or shower so my sister had to take it in the tub. My knees and abs were killing me cos I had to half-kneel for the position, and strain my eyes to look up. There was also a low tripod behind me to drape my “mantle” over to keep it from falling flat against my back.

I don’t even know how to explain this one and I couldn’t even fit it all in the drawing. We got in front of the downstairs window, hung the same white bedsheet I use so much from the ceiling, I knelt on a chair, and I set up the tripod just out of frame in that drawing. We basically gathered every lamp we could reasonably put in the window sill and took the shades off two tall lamps or optimal lighting. I taped bee magnets to my skin. The “clouds” are actually just pulled apart cotton balls taped to a straw and held in various positions in front of the lens. Perfect perspective play.

An honourable mention was my audio set up for my October ghost video.

I don’t have professional audio equipment aside from a Yeti mic, so we had to get creative with how we would get the mic close enough to the subject. Yes, that is a tripod duct taped to another tripod and counter weighted by a bag of books. My mic is literally screwed into a socket it’s not supposed to even be in on the end of the tripod and the cord for it wouldn’t reach the couch to my laptop so I had to stack a stool on a chair next to this incredible contraption with the laptop on top so it could reach. How this entire thing did not collapse at any point is beyond me. (Can you tell I love tape and lamps?)

For photo editing programs, I hate editing on the computer and I will eat my own shoes before I give Adobe any of my money, so I use Enlight and Afterlight 2 from the App Store on my phone, and also FaceTune for certain face corrections. Afterlight 2 has a filter called “Himalaya” which is VERY similar to how 1880s-1920s photos looked and the app has plenty of dust overlays to make your photo look old. Enlight I use for broader ranges of image correction and background editing. Some examples of old photos I’ve done with a combination of those apps:

My sister and I are very resourceful and creative whenever we do these things. I don’t have any formal training in photography, I just have a vision of what I want and I try to do what I can to achieve it. I’ve had photographers with masters degrees in photography tell me it’s astounding I’ve been able to achieve photo results that rival their own with what limited resources I had while they had access to everything under the sun at their uni.

In short, all I really do is pull out my camera and some tripods and other makeshift items with a photoset in my mind, and sometimes I burst into my sister’s room standing like “hi welcome to chili’s” if I need some assistance

[laketaj24]

Serotonin II

Author’s Note: Here it is! I am taking requests, and the taglist is open, drop your name under this fic or on this list if you are interested! This does have a prior part but can be read as a standalone.

Pairing: Colson Baker x Reader

Warning: Smut, breeding kink

Inspo Song: Bad Things

Part I

My MASTERLIST

Colson: Busy?

Y/N: Why would I be busy?

Colson: For sure ain’t been answering my texts 🥱

Y/N: You need something, Col?

Colson: You know you only call me Col when you’re half asleep or whimpering my name when you about to cum. Let me come over.

Tongue-tied, his messages left you baffled. They were a smooth variation of sexting mixed with pleading. Every message included a very Colson apology but a rebuttal that followed and reminded you why you couldn’t fall back in the same routine with him. It was easy to picture yourself back with him, nestled against his lean frame - listening to his voice as it rumbled against his chest as he rambled on. You saw it clear as day, but the truth of the matter was he didn’t do what you required to have you back in his life. Fucking you in the bathroom of some club like a whore, giving your body a fix, but your heart and mind still felt that hesitation when it came to Mr. Baker.

“Are you listening?” Dana asked, holding up the soy powder milk for your nephew.

“I heard you clear as day.”

“You sure you didn’t just daydream the entire I talked about not feeding Jaylen after seven?” Dana placed the soy milk on the table and glanced down at her newborn. “If you’re not up to it, I can stay. I hate going out of town so soon after having him.” She tapped her soon on the back a few times and exhaled.

“We will be fine.”

“You say this, but I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You’re head has been shot ever since you broke up with the delinquent.” She rolled her eyes. “And what pisses me off is Tyla loves him!” She whispered and turned her attention to the seven-year-old parked in front of the tv. “I mean worships him.”

“I know. Colson is good with kids.”

“Because he’s childish.” She added. “He’s basically a six variant of one.”

“You can’t say one thing nice?”

“His music isn’t shitty,” Dana added. “I will be back at eight for the both of them, and I swear not to do this again, just my boss needs me, and their dad is busy.” She lied. “So- I love you, sis. Call Eric!” Dana kissed your cheek and sprinted out the door without another word.

Eric, you hadn’t seen him since you left the club a week ago, and you barely responded to his texts. The ride home was awkward; the entire time, he talked about how much he enjoyed the night. And the only thing you could think about was getting bent over in the bathroom by your ex. Good date.

Auntie duty had started. Diapers, Tiktok, YouTube, and some weird pig cartoon lay ahead of you for the next nine hours. Jaylen slept peacefully in his playpen, unbothered by his mother's lack while Tyla consumed her tv.

Colson: I got food open the door.

Y/N: What door?

Colson: Your apartment door. It’s Chipotle.

Fuck, you were hungry.

Y/N: Leave the food on the porch.

Colson: I’m not a god damn door dash.

The abrupt knocking startled Jaylen, soo you took him in your arms and walked to the door, “Stay in the living room Tyla.”

“K,” She answered, not even looking up from her phone.

You opened the door revealing Colson in his pink hoodie and gray joggers. He held bags of food in his hand and garnished a big smile on his face, “You look good with a baby.”

“Why are you here?”

“You wouldn’t come to see me or invite me over, so invited myself over. Can I come in?”

“No.” Jaylen stirred in your arms, his plump little legs kicked, and you sighed. “I am busy today. That’s why I didn’t invite you over. I have to keep my nieces and nephews, and every time you are over here, you either curse too much or we end up fucking.”

“Watch your mouth.” He teased.

“How were you texting with all that in your hands?” You stared at him.

“You know I got talented hands.”

“Colson!”

Why? You grimaced inwardly before looking at your overly excited niece, she loved Colson, and you hated to admit, he might be an asshole sometimes, but he loved kids. He was a wonder with them. You slapped your face, disappointed there was not a way to hide the massive man at your door. “He can’t stay.” You answered before the question left your lips.

“Why? Please!” Tyla pouted her pink lips and threw her arms up in defeat. “We never see him anymore.”

“That’s your aunt’s fault,” Colson added fuel to the fire. “I won’t stay long.” He pushed through, entering your apartment to greet Tyla with a hug at her level and a sly wink to you. Kids were the way to your heart – and his, but he would not win you over with this bullshit today. Not at all. “You hungry, Tyla?”

“Yeah, ten minutes, and you’re out.”

“Damn.”

“Tiktok?’ she held up her phone and the ring light from her purple book bag. “Please.”

“Word, what are we learning?” He raised his brows to you and proceeded to make himself comfortable on the couch; she was ecstatic, immediately standing to do a dance and drag you over to learn it too. Tiktok had become the bane of your existence, but for Tyla and her half a million followers, she was golden.

One hour later and you were tired, you’d perfected the dance, and Colson had convinced her to let him skip the dancing and just be—it was all he had to do though, she’d get one million views just because of who he was, and now everyone would know you were with him. Your heart dropped a little thinking about the exposure while she edited the video next to both of you.

“Why is Uncle Colson never around?” Tyla never looked up from her phone; she just continued her mission of posting that sixty-second video and ruining your life.

“He’s not your uncle.” You corrected.

“That’s your aunt’s fault too.” He added.

“Don’t start with me.” The harsh whisper came out as a warning, waking baby Jaylen from his nap and making Colson chuckle in amusement.

“I like him; I want him in the family.”

“I want a million dollars.”

“I can give you that.” He said.

“And a loyal boyfriend who doesn’t text insta-sluts in his spare time.”

“Don’t use sluts in front of her damn; your mouth is outrageous Y/N.”

The narrowing of your eyes made him burst into laughter again. He was damn good at annoying you like he had it mastered.

The day passed quickly with him making eyes at you, caring for Jaylen while she styled Colson’s hair in four ponytails atop his head, garnished with bows, and she even attempted to give him edges. He didn’t care; as long as she was happy, he was good.

“You look a mess.”

“It’s cool.” Colson snapped a picture. “Been waiting forever to see if ponytail was for me or not; it’s a no.” He sat back on the couch while Tyla disappeared to your room for god knows what else. “You look good with babies, you know?”

“You’ve said that.”

“I meant it; you’re good with them too.” He sighed. “I thought about kids with us, like every damn day.”

“Funny.” You shrugged, and she appeared with your bright pink polish. “What’re you doing, Tyla?”

“Painting his nails.” She plopped down in front of him, and without hesitation, he held his hand out for her. “We did blue last time.”

“Yep.” He exhaled. “Don’t you want this?”

He didn’t have to elaborate; you knew what he was talking about, but a family was the last thing from your mind, no matter how perfect the scenario looked right now. “Do you?”

Colson smacked his lips. “We can talk later.”

“You leaving when they do.” You reiterated.

The door opened thirty minutes later without a knock or doorbell; Dana never announced herself. “I see he found his way back in.” Her mouth dropped as soon as her eyes met him. “Tyla just had her way today, didn’t she.” She laughed. “Oh god, she gave this man braids.”

“Your daughter is talented.” He laughed. “Might be a new look.”

“Ridiculous.” She held her laughter. “Ty, get up and come on, love; we have a long drive.” She took Jaylen from your chest and gave you a look. “How long is he staying?”

“Not long, sis, drive safe.”

“I will. Colson, you leave in ten minutes, or I’m sending our brother over.” She pointed to him.

“I’m not scared of Michael; send him.” Why did his arrogance only make you want him more? He looked to Dana, who, like him, was not bothered.

“I hate him.” She mumbled as she left. “I just fucking hate him.”

“It’s mutual!” Colson laughed as the door shut. “You’re gonna stay over there the whole time?”

“Aint no reason for me to be over there for real.” You thought of three reasons to stay where you were, the drop in his voice, the tension in this room that could be cut with a knife, and when he was alone with you, your willpower was nonexistent. “You have five minutes.”

“We aren’t going to talk about this, are we? You like being evasive and shit? That you’re new persona?”

“I have no new persona. This is me not playing into all the bullshit you bring when you’re with me. This is a wall.”

“I’m about to knock that wall over.” He smirked.

“Stay on your couch.” You warned.

Colson held his hands up, acting defenseless, “I wasn’t moving from this spot.”

“My sister hates you, you know that? She literally said that I would be better off leaving Cali before staying here with your toxic ass.” You found yourself pointing at him and wanting to knock that smile from his face. Colson liked to see you get feisty with him; he called that foreplay, and here you were dancing to the beat of his drum, pissed.

“How am I toxic? I stopped all that shit for you, every ounce of it.”

“Stop lying.”

Colson grinned at you, unwavering in his position and impressed that you were persistent in yours; your usual fights lasted about one day. You’d take him back, and everything went back to how it was before, but that changed nothing; you wanted him to change. “I am not lying to you. Come here.”

You walked over to him, taking his hand and allowing him to pull you down in his lap. Facing him, you admired all the little cuts he’d earned over the years in senseless fights or accidents. Your fingers traced over them before you cupped his face. What the fuck were you doing? Why were the two of you akin to magnets? Drawing one another in half of the time and then at the flip of a side hating one another? You placed your lips on him, parting his lips with your tongue and then flicking playfully over his teeth before he caught your bottom lip with his teeth and tugged. The slight pressure made you moan against him. He cradled your neck with one hand, not allowing you to escape him. Colson deepened the kiss, adding pressure and taking what little breath you had away. “I fucking miss you, Y/N.” He rasped.

"Don't talk.”You murmured back.

Colson didn’t listen; he never listened.  “You were good with them today.”

You growled, grinding your hips on him. “Shut up, Colson.”

“I want to talk to you, I want you back Y/N, shit. Like I am trying, I canceled recording sessions, appearances, and other shit all this month so we can figure this out. I don’t want to-,”

You stopped him from talking, gripping his cock through the sweats with one hand and kissing him to shut up.

“Stop.” In one fluid motion, your hands were by your side, and your eyes were on his, “We’re talking; I was not fucking other women. But I was entertaining them, and it’s no excuse. I know you’re hurt; I’m sorry. Like real talk, no joke – I apologize.”

“How do I know it won’t happen again?’

“I'll delete all this shit for you,” He admitted. “Fuck a platform.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m dead ass right now. Fuck it all. I just want you.”

“If it happens again, I am never taking you back, ever.”

“It won’t.” He whispered, loosening the grip on your hands.

You took advantage of the notion, moving your hand down to his cock, rubbing the hilt through his sweats again.

“Nah,” He gripped your hair, pulling you back, so your eyes met him. “It’s my turn now.” He pushed aside your shorts in seconds, and his fingers plunged into your pussy, curling for a moment and then spinning out of you. He placed his fingers on your lips, “Open up.” You didn’t hesitate to take his fingers, licking your own juices from them, and he tapped your face sending a slight pleasurable sting. “How you taste?”

“Ready.” You pulled him from the sweats feeling him jump at your cool hands, and stood up, wriggling out of the shorts before hovering back over him again.

Colson playfully tosses you on your couch, draping one leg to the ground. “Let me taste.” He whispered as he descended between your legs. Colson’s fingers brushed your swollen clit, before his lips latched on, sucking. You bowed from the couch, the moans and scratched to his shoulders done nothing but encourage. He lapped up your juices before diving his tongue into you and swirling around. You gasped, surprised and pleased as he worked.

“Col-“ You gripped his shoulders, lifting yourself from laying down, and he took full advantage, pulling you onto his face and fucking you with his tongue. Your body coiled, the jolts of pleasure popped around your body, and then you came. The white-hot energy surged through your body, and you panted, shaking, almost collapsing back on the couch. He caught you peppering the wet kisses from your pussy to your mouth.

“You good?”

“Better than.” You whispered, breathing heavily. “ Shit.”

“We’re not done.” Of course, you weren’t; his cock throbbed against his leg, waiting to ruin your life, and here you were still out of breath. Colson gently pulled you from the couch, sitting you in his lap, and he started once again with the kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips, and for some reason, that just made you wetter for him. He took advantage of stroking himself before he lowered you down on him. You took every inch, mouth slightly open and hair swinging the entire time. You pressed your breast against his chest, savoring the warm feeling of his cock inside of you, and then you started moving on him. Your muscles clenched around, gripping him with each stroke. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone; you took that added pleasure in stride biting your lip as it intensified every time your skin met.

Colson’s eyes were hooked on you, his fingers dug in your ass, guiding you up and down on his cock, urging you to keep going, and there was no way in hell you were going to stop. You could feel it building once again, this time bigger. “Hold it.” He whispered, knowing you were about once more. “Not yet.”

“Ah,” Impatience grew over you; you slowed your ride, winding your hips slowly, your eyes closed as you took over, fucking up into you, guiding your body to take more. “I can’t.” You whined as you fought to hold the orgasm back.

“Yeah, you can.” He slammed into you harder, knocking the breath from you, your toes curled, and you screamed as you shook against him. “I wanna feel that pussy shake around me when I cum; hold it.” He slapped your clit with three fingers, and your breath hitched. “Hold it.” His hand travels up your shirt to your bare stomach, and he kisses you once more. “Y/N.”  His hips rocked slowly, but then he started to fuck you quicker, the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot each time. You were a screaming mess, biting down on his shoulder. That done the trick he spasms against you growling. His warm cum triggered you. You came, sinking down and taking all of it. “Shit, you cheated.”

“You would’ve lasted forever.” You smiled lazily.

“Is that a complaint or a compliment?”

“Both.”

You wince, sliding off him, “right.” He rolled his eyes. “Now we gotta eat reheated Chipotle.” he stood up, fixing his pants. “Can I stay?”

“I guess.” You pulled the blanket over you, snuggling into your favorite place on the couch. He heads into the kitchen, and you reach for your phone, wondering what threat your sister had for you.

Meg: Are you still coming tonight?

This was not your phone; of course, it wasn’t. You unlocked the phone, clicking her name to look at the messages. But there is only red as Colson makes his way back into the living room. You throw the phone across the room, hitting the wall, and he stares at you. “What the fuck?”

“Take you and that Chipotle and get out.”

“Damn, what the Chipotle do?”

  A/N: One more part coming. I’ll drop it next week, I think! Thank yall for reading! Let me know what you think!!

Taglist: @taytayize123​ @ctrlszn @supernaturalvikingwhore @jae-writes-fanfiction @bigsisbria @placeoffreedom @kyla-queen @missdforever @gottatoxicattitude @bang-kim-bap @msreshel @blowmymbackout @titty-teetee @strawberry-skyes @mauvecherie @savageiz @bang-kim-bap @luci-her @littlelovebug98 @babyboy-cody @hellshedevil @daddyavesxx @crystalbaby12 @jeonsblackgf

commenters from serotnin who might be interested: @mgkmerchstyles @mayaslifeinabox

[bantansworld]

Double Platinum || DadKNJ Part 4

➜ Summary: “ I'm just trying to look out for your best interest! Because what if you end up making a stupid mistake that'll cost you your whole career!"

" A stupid mistake? You mean like me? That is why you decided to leave me, right? Because I was a stupid mistake that could have costed you your whole career?"

➜ Pairing: Unspecified for now

➜ Genre: Daughter given up for adoption, Becoming an Idol, Harshness of the idol industry, Namjoon reconnecting with his daughter, journey to forgive, messy one sided beef with other group

➜ Warnings: Adpotion, giving up child, Heartbreak, implied racism, strict dieting, controlling career, abusive manager, abuse, being singled out, harsh social media comments, depression, profanity, idol life, learning to forgive

➜ Word count: 3,889

[ Jaelah's Pov ]

My eyes were glued to the screen, watching his movements closely as he hit every beat with precision.

I really admired Jimin's way of dance. It was so elegant and graceful yet at the same time so sharp and precise. It was a shame that he leaned more into his modeling than he did his music, he would have made a great artist. I would have loved to see him on tour.

I paused the video on my laptop screen, and looked down at the notes I had taken, reading over them before I stood up to my feet and walked over to the middle of the floor of the dance studio.

I took my phone from my back pocket and unlocked the screen, starting the song over and pressing the play button. I quickly put my phone back in my pocket and got into my position. Jimin's voice blasted through the speakers as my body followed along with the lyrics of his song Lie, keeping in my head all of the corrections that I wrote down in my notebook that I needed to do better on as I danced along to the choreography.

As I stood dancing in the dance practice studio, I still found myself being amazed that I was actually here. I couldn't believe three months had already flown by since the day I checked my emails and learned that every entertainment company had rejected me. It was something that I could laugh at now, but three months ago, it really did hurt me. It would probably be a moment that I don't think I would really ever forget. Just the thoughts that ran through my head then, thoughts that I wasn't good enough for any of the companies made me feel like a failure. It was really sort of embarrassing for me. I felt so naïve, like everything was just gonna be the way I dreamed of it to be, but as more time had passed, I realized that I had preexisting setbacks that played a part in my rejections as well. Preexisting setbacks that were far behind my control, because I couldn't change the way I was born.

Despite everything that I've experienced thus far, I didn't have time to dwell or focus on the negativities that would definitely plague me throughout my journey of being an idol, not anymore. The only thing that I was interested in and had my complete focus on nowadays, was being the best trainee that I could be.

Because I know from following artist that literally came from nothing, that the only way to get anything in this world, especially nowadays, is through hard work and determination. I wouldn't let anything disrupt me from that. I wouldn't let anything stop me from achieving my dreams. The only thing that would ever stop me would be myself.

Looking back, I remember the day that I had finally sent in my audition tape to DRMusic Entertainment. I was nervous and scared. At the time, I just felt that if all the other entertainment companies had rejected me, then this one would ultimately end up doing the same thing. Youngheun and Dahye had practically begged me and talked me out of my negative thoughts, telling me that it wouldn't hurt to try, so I did. I sent in my audition tape and to my surprise, only a day later after sending it in, I had gotten an email back from them. Accepting me into the company.

That was honestly one of the best days of my life, I couldn't contain my happiness even if I wanted to. It was just an amazing feeling, I felt like for the first time since I was that twelve year old girl that tried her hardest to pass an audition, that I had moved one peg up in this game of life in the idol industry. I moved one step closer to achieving my dreams.

That week after I had been accepted, I went to the company with my mom, where we had both sat down with the CEO of DRMusic, we had gone over all of the paperwork and legal work that I would have to sign to officially be apart of the company. It was a part of the process that wasn't fun or exciting, it was a bit humbling if I was being honest. Taking all of those naïve thoughts that I had before, and bringing me back to reality. We talked about things that was a bit of a harsh reality to think about, but I was happy to experience it.

CEO Yoon had went through the contract thoroughly with me and my mother, being up front about everything that we went over regarding the contract. He was open and honest with us about the company, how it wasn't the best out there, that they didn't have financial standing like many other companies did. He let us know that if I did decide to join the company, that it wasn't gonna be an easy ride, being from such a small company was gonna make it harder for them to succeed and that it was a possibility the goals that I set for myself may not be met.

It was hard to hear, but I was very appreciative of his honesty. He didn't have to say any of that, he could have let my naïve ambitious self just sign the contract not knowing what I was getting myself into, and that's what made me ultimately sign.

I already knew of DRMusic, because of youngheun and Dahye. I knew they were an almost unknown company that wasn't gonna have the same experiences as a company that was more known, but I also knew what I was getting myself into. It was never ideal to lower your standards on things that you cared about, but beggars can't be choosers. Everyone has to start somewhere. If I just do my best, and give this my all. I know me, along with my members and our company can succeed. I'm determined to make that happen.

" Caught in a lieeeeeeeeeeeeee~~ " I sung along with the song, swinging my hips, hitting the beat as I raised my hands dramatically before bringing them back down, sweat falling down my face as I moved on to the next move.

I had been working on getting this cover done for a few weeks now. The members and I were very diligent about our training. We made sure to get everything our teachers assigned to us done, especially me. Sometimes the members would be annoyed with me when I kept asking the teachers to keep going over dances we had already gone over, but I'm just trying to make sure everything is perfect. I didn't want to be lacking in anything. Not dancing, not rapping, not vocals, nothing.

After I would finish with our daily workouts and vocal lessons, I would come to the studio to work on my dance. It had been a while since I've last uploaded a dance cover to my twitter account, and I promised my followers that I would post the cover by the end of the week.

Learning the dance was a bit of a task and I commend Jimin and his choreographer for creating such masterpieces. It was a bit of a challenge to learn both dances and mashing them together, but I knew my followers would love it.

For the most part, I was done with the dances, I just wanted to clean up some parts, so I took notes on the things I noticed that I was doing not so well in, so that I could do it better, so after running through the dance about three more times, applying the corrections I made for myself, I finally allowed myself to take a break.

My breathing was heavy as I sunk down to the floor, my arms and legs sprawled out as my chest rose and fell frantically. My body felt like jelly, tingling as I laid there, trying to catching my breath. I didn't want to move a muscle, I just wanted to let my body cool down before I did anything else.

Laying their after a few minutes gave my body the rest it needed before it had begin to relax, my breathing pattern going back to normal. I sat myself up, looking at myself in the mirror and cringing when I saw just how sweaty I was. My eyes moving over to the door when I heard it beginning to open.

" And here is our last swan, practicing as she always does because she's such a hard worker. Say hi to our cute lead vocal and main rapper, Jaelah!" Youngheun shouted as she came into the room holding a hand held camera, Dahye and Larissa coming in after her.

" Omg hi~" I said, putting my face into the camera and giving it kisses. " It's your cute eonnie here to give you all the love in the world." I said bringing my hands up to my face and gave the camera a flower pose.

Dahye walked in front of the camera, making a cringe face at me. I let out a laugh, pushing her out of the cameras frame before putting my face close to the lends again.

" Guys I think it's time to admit that Dahye actually hates me. I tried to keep it in but my cute dongsaeng makes it so hard for me." I said to the camera, pinching the bridge of my nose as I shook my head dramatically.

" Eonnie don't worry. I'm here for you." Larissa said to me, coming up behind me as she started to back hug me.

" Ahhh." I said, laying me head back onto her. " This is what real love reals like." I said.

" So. Anyone wanna the audience what we are working on these days. Seems like they really want to know." Youngheun said as she turned the camera n herself as she asked the question, making a thinking face before she turned the camera back on to us.

" Welllllll if you all really wanna know what we're doing nowadays, I guess I can tell you." I said to the camera.

The girls all turned their gazes at me and waited, holding their breaths, thinking I was gonna say something that I wasn't supposed to.

" Well first off, we're working on... showing you guys the best versions of ourselves! That's why we're working so hard, so when you finally get to see us in action, we'll make you all proud. So please keep watching us and please keep rooting for us." I said sincerely to the camera, giving a finger heart.

" Ahhhh Jaelah- eonnie always has a way with words, right?" Dahye asked the camera as she clapped her hands.

" Alright yeoreobun, we all hope you watch this video and be comforted by the thought that you will be able to meet with us soon! Like Jaelah said earlier, please keep watching us and please keep cheering and supporting us. We hope to make you proud soon!"

All of them members got into the camera and started blowing kisses and give the screen a finger heart before Youngheun pressed the stop recording video.

After the recording was done, we all looked at each other smiling.

" I'm still surprised we have people watching us and waiting for our debut." Youngheun spoke up, a smile on her lips.

" We really do have Jaelah-eonnie to thank for that." Dahye said as she playfully bumped my shoulder.

" Actually we have Jungkook to thank. If it weren't for him coming into the store that day and taking that picture, sending all of his fans there, things would probably be very different right now." I said replying to them.

" I still can't believe that happened. Imagine THE Jeon Jungkook delivering from your store, then coming to your store the next day. Things like that seems like they only happen in movies." Youngheun said.

" Or fanfictions." Larissa said speaking up.

I nodded my head and pointed at her, agreeing with what she said. " I literally read a Taehyung fanfic that happened just like this. It was so good. A bit of a slow burner, but it was worth it." I said to them.

" And on that note, I'm gonna take my leave. We have about ten more minutes before we have to go back to practicing. Debut is just around the corner and we need to be ready. And please make sure to stick to dieting. Manager-nim is adamant about that." Youngheun said to us.

" Yes leader-nim." I said saluting her with a teasing smile.

She playfully rolled her eyes as she left out of the room, the door closing behind her with a soft click.

" Eonnie, are you done with that video you were working on?" Larissa asked me as she went and sat against the mirror, he legs stretched out in front of her.

" Almost. I'm done with learning the dances, and obviously I already know the lyrics, it's just little things that I have to tweak to make better." I said to her.

" From what I've seen so far. They're gonna love it. The transition you made between the two songs are so good." Dahye said to me as she sat down in the middle of the floor, laying down. " I really am thankful to you eonnie, you really do bring in a lot of fans for us. I'm happy that Jungkook-shii did what he did that day, but the content you make for the fans is what keeps them coming back, so thank you, and thank you for joining our team." She said to me, turning her head over to face me with a smile.

" I really don't need you to make me cry right now. Aish, I swear my dongsaeng is the cutest ever." I said, pouting my lips up at her. " No but seriously, don't count yourselves out of this equation either. You guys post content as well that the fans love. I just think the they really enjoy it that we show our real authentic selves, so as long as we keep doing that and building with them from here, they'll stay by our side." I responded to her.

" Yeah that's true." DaHye responded. She had laid back on the floor, her eyes looking up at the ceiling. " You know eonnie, that's honestly the best way to go. The more we grow as a group and as a team, I want our fans to grow along with us. I want to try to be as up front and honest with them as I can. I want to be the type of artist that I could see myself stanning, you know?" She asked me, her eyes still focused up on the ceiling.

I smiled to myself at her words. " I understand completely. I swear that's the same exact way I feel. I don't I just want to be able to have a close relationship with our fans. Like you said, be the type of artist that you would stan, the same goes for me. I don't like celebrities who are stuck up and think the world owes them something. I want to be the complete opposite of that. I would always want our fans to know that they will be the reason that we do what we do and the reason that we're gonna reach our dreams. Even now, I'm so grateful to the fans who watch us now even though we don't have much to give right now. It's a very humbling feeling and I hope to always feel this way." I said to her, finishing my little rant.

" Eonnie you really do have a way with words, don't you?" Larissa spoke up.

I shrugged my shoulders absentmindedly. " I guess I just like to speak what's on my mind." I said to her.

DaHye, Larissa and I continued to sit on the floor, each one of us dazed off in our own minds. It wasn't long before we heard the door of the dance practice room open again, Youngheun coming into the room, with manager SungJae behind her.

" CEO Yoon called for a sudden meeting with you all. I don't know what the meeting is gonna be about this time, but Jaelah, do try and keep your input to yourself this time." Manager SungJae said, his eyes moving over to me with a subtle sternness. " I understand the want to speak up and voice your opinion regarding your career, but it is not needed at the moment. The staff and team are working diligently so the only thing you have to worry about is to sing rap and dance." He finished.

I felt the frown come to my face as soon as I realized where his words were going. I knew he was eventually going to say something to me about me always speaking up and giving my input whenever we had meetings with CEO Yoon.

I just didn't understand what exactly the problem was. All I said was that the song we had laid our vocals down for was a bit out of touch with what people were listening to nowadays. It sounded something like the second generation of Kpop idols would sing. I didn't understand the need to scold me for that, but I digress.

" Yes manager SungJae."'I responded to him, bowing my head slightly in apology.

He nodded his head at me then turned to face back around to the door. " We should get going." He said, walking out of the room.

I let out the sigh I was holding in, the deep frown making its way back on my face as Larissa walked out of the room, followed by Dahye. Youngheun came over to me, her eyes trying to find mine as I avoided her gaze.

" I'm sorry Heunnie. I'm not trying to cause trouble for us. I'll make sure to do better in the future, for the betterment of our group." I said to her.

" Hey." She called out to me softly, making me look into her eyes. " You did nothing wrong. I know everything you do regarding our group is in our best interest. I don't know what problem manager SungJae has with you lately, but don't let him get to you. Let's just do what we have to do to get our group off of the ground. Everything is gonna be alright. We got this, yeah?" She said to me.

" Yeah." I muttered back to her.

Youngheun wrapped her arm around mine, guiding me out of the dance practice room so that we could catch up with the others at CEOs Yoon's office.

" So nice of you girls to join us." Was the first thing CEO Yoon said to us when we walked into his office.

" Sorry for being late." Youngheun and I said at the same time, bowing low to the CEO.

" I'm just joking around, nevermind that. I just wanted to talk to you girls about something's regarding you debut since it approaching fast." He said to us, gesturing for us to sit down in one of the chairs.

As we did so, CEO Yoon pulled out a file, placing it on top of his desk and opening it up. " First things first. I will be sharing some names that the team has come up with that could be potential group names. I'm going to read down the list and you all tell me what you think would be suit your group." He said to us.

I was surprised at this. After Manager SungJae basically just told me that I should keep my input to myself, this happens. Isn't that just ironic.

" Alright, so we got National Treasures, Passion Hearts, Girls Next Door, DiVerse, Synergy, Blackswan, Hard Love, and that's all we have for now. Any of those names stick out for any of you?" CEO Yoon asked us.

The members and I all looked at each other, Youngheun taking the paper with the list of name from the CEO when he handed her the paper. We all got out of our seats and huddled around Youngheun, looking over the names on the list again.

" Isn't DiVerse a cute name? It kinda explains our group since we are a diverse group." Larissa spoke up, reaching over Youngheun's shoulder and pointing to the name on the list.

" It's cute but isn't it a little too on the nose?" DaHye responded to her. " Passion Hearts isn't too bad. Since we are passionate at heart for our dreams." She said, looking around at us.

" It kind of sound like the name of a video game." I said to her.

" I don't know, but Blackswan is really standing out to me." Youngheun spoke up, pointing to the name.

" Yeah, me too." I said to her. " We're like the black swans of the industry. Being over looked for the white swans, until we read our wings and show the world just how beautiful the black swans can be." I said to them.

" Oh wow. I like that." DaHye said as she nodded her head and gave a thumbs up.

" I like that eonnie." Larissa piped up as well.

" So I guess we've figured out which one we like the best." Youngheun said handing the ceo the paper back.

" So Blackswan?" CEO Yoon questioned.

" Yes." We all answered back to him.

He nodded his head and picked up a pen from off of his desk and uncapped it. He circled Blackswan on the list before moving the paper to the side and putting the cap back on the pen.

" Alright, next thing I want to discuss with you all is your stage names. It is fine you you all want to keep your name as it is, but if you do want to change it, go ahead and let me know now.

I remained quiet. I didn't want to change my name.

" Now that you mention it, I did want to change my name. I wanted to make my name shorter and a bit more easy to pronounce in the Korean language."

Lariss said speaking up.

"And what would you like to change your name to?" CEO Yoon asked her.

"Leia." She responded to him.

" I would like to change my name as well. I wanted to change it to Judy." DaHye said speaking up as well.

CEO Yoon nodded his head, writing their suggestions down on another piece of paper.

"Ok then." He said as he finished writing down what he needed to, looking back up at us with a smile. " That was all I needed for now. You girls are free to go back to your duties. Please keep working hard with practicing and vocal lessons. Your debut is right around the corner and you girls have to be ready for that." He said to us.

" Yes sir." We all replied to him, standing to our feet to bow at him as we all filed out of his room, going back to the practice room.

Our choreographer, HyoYeon-eonnie was waiting for us as soon as we walked into the practice room.

" Alright girls. Let's get back to it."

[free-pancakes]

Levi Ackerman, the big shot singer. His melody is too soothing and his all songs are hit. Hanji Zoe, the energetic model.Her beauty and energy is beyond measure.But when they collab for a music video what will happened.Will they become thirsty for each other blood or something will happen 👀👀

ANON omg... oh no I did not expect to fall in love with a famous!AU 

oh no oh no oh no oh no i loved this way too much, it straight killed me. I hope you like what i came up with!!

------

It Started with a Spilled Coffee

Levi sat in his dressing room, flipping through a magazine until he reached the page he was looking for. Multiple pictures of Hanji Zoe’s stared back at him, wearing elegant dresses to suits and ties—she had quite the range, he thought. She looked oddly attractive in everything she wore. And most importantly, her serious expressions behind her trendy glasses meant business, and that’s all he needed. The famous model was hired to act for his newest music video, all thanks to his agent, the guy who could make anything happen, Erwin Smith.

Erwin said he’d get along fine with Hanji, as she was an old friend of his. The clock on his dresser sounded an alarm, signaling 5 minutes to his call time. Levi took another look at the magazine, content that he’d get to work with someone who looked quite professional and put-together, and turned off the alarm. All the actors he had been working with recently had been quite drama-filled and needy, and all he wanted was to have a nice, quiet week of filming and recording. He walked out onto the set.

There she was, camera on her and shooting the part just as he imagined, the perfect way to convey what his song was trying to get at. He turned to walk over to the recording studio, ready to get the vocals done. When it was time for his break, Levi quietly walked out towards the refreshment table, ready for his lunchtime tea. Before he could reach the food, he suddenly felt hot liquid soaking up his shirt and he jumped at the sudden heat, quickly unbuttoning his shirt to keep it from literally burning his skin.

“Oh I’m so so so so so sorry, I didn’t see you there! Oh no!” Levi felt a frantic pair of hands trying to dab the coffee from his bare abdomen with napkins. Once the coffee was all dried, he sighed in relief. Before he could look up to see who the culprit was, he felt two fingers playfully pinch at the little bit of fat around his stomach and heard the words, “Awwww, so cute!”

Levi’s eyes widened and he immediately pushed the hand away and covered up his stomach—okay he had been slacking off on the ab workouts recently, but he didn’t need to be outed like that. He looked up, ready to scowl at the complete moron who just assaulted him with hot coffee and made fun of the tiny, loose area of fat he had neglected, and met the eyes of the person he least expected.

“Hanji Zoe?”

“That’s me! Sorry about that, Levi is it?”

Levi was completely dumbfounded—the elegant, serious, world famous model, Hanji Zoe, was a complete—

“Hanji!” A stressed-looking man called out and ran towards them. “Mr. Ackerman, I’m so sorry, can I get you anything? I’m so sorry!” Still dumbfounded, Levi wordlessly shook his head. The man turned towards Hanji. “Hanji I swear to God I turned around for 2 seconds and you already managed to do this??”

“Moblit, dont worry, Levi said he’s fine! No worries! And nice to meet you, Levi!” she exclaimed, as if this happened all the time.

“Did this happen all the time??” Levi thought. “Seems she even has a goddamn babysitter, Erwin, what were you thinking? We sure as hell are not about to get along...”

She waved and smiled happily at him as Moblit steered her back to the dressing rooms.

——

Most of the week passed and Hanji irritated every single nerve Levi had in his body. She was completely smooth and professional whenever the camera was rolling, but every single second that camera was on standby, she was tripping over equipment, spilling her drinks, getting rips in her outfits, and worst of all, humming his songs off-tune. Levi thought his brain would blow a fuse—but at least the week was almost over. He would kill Erwin--he was on leave for the whole week Hanji would be here. Levi was absolutely sure that he did this on purpose to play a prank on him, trying to lift his spirits or something stupid like that.

Well his spirits did not need lifting, but apparently he needed to be lifting—weights that is. If Hanji teasingly squeezed at his godforsaken baby fat once more, he’d lose it.

—-

“Just two days more,” Levi thought. Then he could give Erwin a piece of his mind. He walked down the hallway during their long break before their evening shooting. Suddenly, he heard a piano playing, and a really pretty voice behind it—it was quite muffled, though. As if the person was trying to actively hide the sound of their music. He quietly stepped towards the practice room, curious to see who it was. He felt himself humming along, which was rare for him to do. The music wrapped around him like a blanket—he felt warm... at peace. The sound stopped, and then began playing one of his old songs. One he really loved, but it wasn’t very popular—it was always the creations you didn’t really care about that would get hits, but the ones you did love wouldn’t get the attention it deserved. He pushed the door open a bit, and peeked in. His jaw dropped.

A tangled mess of brown hair, pulled out from the neat up-do, wearing an oversized green t-shirt: Hanji Zoe sat at the piano singing and playing the song that meant the most to him. He stared, mesmerized—she looked beautiful this way, to him at least. Raw, no make-up, no gimmicks--she was so pretty, he thought. He took a few steps forward and joined her singing the harmony, their voice types strangely compatible, blending together in a way that made your ears buzz when it hit the correct frequency. She wasn’t even startled as he walked into the room to join her--it was as if she knew he’d join her. He sat next to her continuing to sing, and started playing the piano with her. She eyed him and smiled as she sang until they reached the end.

Levi paused, very much shocked at the whole ordeal. “Um, when did you learn how to sing? Why were you humming everything off tune all week—“

“Hm, because I don’t want anyone to know!”

“Why wouldn’t you want anyone to know?? Your voice is ridiculous...”

“Oh,” she blushed, “Well, this is the one thing I have, for me? My life is always plastered on billboards and magazines and TV interviews, I just wanted one thing for myself, yknow?”

Levi hesitated—he understood, but he wanted nothing more than to make more music with her.

“But,” she lifted her hand towards his face, Levi shutting his eyes in preparation for her to squeeze his goddamn cheek for the thousandth time this week, but was instead met with her fingers combing his hair over and back behind his ear. “I wouldn’t mind sharing this little secret of mine with you, once in awhile.”

She smiled brightly at him. “Oh and you look cuter when you push your bangs out of the way, it’s nice to see your face more clearly.”

She pulled a napkin out of her pocket, and picked up a pen. She wrote her personal phone number down, folded the napkin, and slid it into the chest pocket of his button-up, right over his heart.

“When we’re done shooting this video, call me sometime. I’d love to sing with you again, alright?” She stood up and scurried away, of course knocking down her empty cup of coffee on the bench beside her on the way out.

Levi stared at the doorway, and put his hand over his pocket—he felt himself...smiling?

“Goddammit, Erwin. I’m gonna punch you straight into the next life for playing matchmaker.”

He impatiently pulled out his phone and saved Hanji’s number under the name “Four-Eyes”.

[storiesforallfandoms]

accident prone ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1500

request?: yes!

“Hi love! Can I request something for Colson Baker where you’re like a college student who’s shadowing at a hospital and colson has to come in because he was stupid and injured himself on set for a music video and he flirts with you?”

description: on her first day of doing actual hands on learning, she ends up meeting a celebrity

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

After years of all nighters, stressful exams, and more procrastination than I care to admit, I was finally taking a giant step forward in my life towards my career: I was starting my first day as an intern at the hospital.

I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy job, I had been warned of this basically once a week since I had started school, but all I wanted to do was help people however I could. Plus, I had a strong stomach, so the gore would never affect me at least.

I tried not to seem too excited as I was assigned a nurse to follow for the day and given my list of tasks. Luckily, though, my mentor for the day seemed very sweet and understanding of my excitement, unlike some of the other mentor nurses.

I had just sat down for the first time in hours when my pager began to beep. I raced to find my mentor, who was stood outside of a room with the windows covered.

“How do you feel about practicing your stitches and bandaging, kid?” she asked as I approached.

“I haven’t done much of either yet,” I responded. “Should I really be practicing on a patient?”

“You can on this one. He’s a regular.”

I stepped into the room and immediately understood why the windows were covered. Sat on the able in front of me, cradling his hand in a blood stained cloth while trying to also hold a cloth to his bloody nose, was none other than Machine Gun Kelly.

“I was wondering where Diane went,” he commented, referring to my mentor. “You must be the new girl.”

“One of many,” I confirmed. “I’m (Y/N). You’re familiar with this place I take it.”

“I’d say I’m accident prone, but that’d be an understatement,” he responded.

I pulled on my surgical gloves and gestured to his hand. “Let me see the damage then.”

He held out his hand to me and I saw the giant gash on his palm. I started by cleaning the area, causing him to flinch slightly. He showed not an ounce of pain as I began to carefully stitch his hand.

“So, how did you manage to do this?” I asked.

“I may have been playing with knives,” he responded. I gave him a quick look before turning back to his hand. “I grabbed it by the blade without realizing.”

“You definitely cut it deep,” I told him. “Did that have anything to do with your nose?”

He shook his head, but paused as he did. “Maybe. One of my friends and I were fighting and he punched me in the nose. I reached for the knife to try to throw it at him.”

I looked back up at him with wide eyes. “You tried to throw a knife at your friend?!”

“I thought it was a fake one!” he tried to defend himself. “We were filming a music video with fake pocket knives and one of them was placed on the props table next to someone’s real pocket knife. I went to pick it up to throw it thinking it was fake and I ended up grabbing the blade of the real one instead.”

I shook my head at him and continued his stitches. “Why was there a real, open pocket knife next to a fake one?”

“I don’t know, man, someone took it out and left it I guess. Shit happens.”

I knew very little about Machine Gun Kelly. His music wasn’t exactly the type I listened to, but hearing him talking about fighting with his friends and throwing knives as if it were no big deal really told me all I had to know about him.

I finished his stitches and went to wrap the wound in some gaze. “Do I need to explain the healing process for stitches to you?”

“No,” he responded. “I’ve been told quite a few times.”

“I’d imagine.” When I finished with his hand, I gestured to his nose. “Does that need to be looked at, too?”

“I think it’s okay. He didn’t break it, just made it bleed a little.”

“I’ll look at it anyways, just to be sure.”

I took the cloth from his hand and put a hand under his chin to tilt his head back slightly. It certainly didn’t look broken, and I didn’t think he would need an x-ray to make sure. I’d ask Diane about it before he left just to be sure, but everything looked fine.

“I’ll clean you up,” I told him. I crossed over to the nearby sink and wet down a cloth with warm water.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said.

“Yeah, but I’m going to. Might as well, I have a feeling it won’t go over well if you walk out of here with blood pooling down your nose.”

He chuckled as I took his chin in my hand again and began cleaning the mostly dried blood off of his nose. I tried to be as gentle as possible, making sure that if he did have anything wrong that I didn’t irritate it more.

As I cleaned his nose, I noticed him gazing up at me. The windows pointing outside were open, and it was a beautiful sunny day. The sunlight came into the room and lit up his already bright blue eyes in the most beautiful way. I found myself trailing off from what I was doing to get lost in his eyes instead.

“Are you done?” he asked, giving me an amused look. For a moment, I thought he was referring to me staring into his eyes for so long, until I realized I was just resting the wet cloth against his nose.

“N-Not yet,” I stuttered.

I discarded the cloth into the nearby hamper once I finished and pulled off my surgical gloves to wash my hands. He stood from the table, stretching his body out from sitting around for so long. I had a feeling he was not a guy that was used to just sitting in one spot for too long.

“So, are you going to be here long?” he asked. “Just wondering if I should prepare to get acquainted with you or not.”

“Well, I don’t plan on leaving. I plan on staying here and becoming a nurse once my training is over,” I responded. “But I can’t promise you I’ll be the one looking after you all the time when you come in.”

“Maybe I’ll specifically request for you to look after me when I come in.”

I shot him a playful look over my shoulder. “What if I’m busy with another patient?”

“I can wait.”

I giggled at this, something that was very unlike me, but how can you not giggle when an incredibly hot rock star is (kind of?) flirting with you.

“I suppose I shouldn’t turn down patients,” I said. “It’ll literally keep me in a job.”

“Exactly! I could singlehandedly keep you employed all on my own, so you shouldn’t turn me away.”

I smiled at this and shook my head. “Well, we’ll see how things go. If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll become your nurse.”

I was about to head out the door, but his hand pushed the door closed, stopping me before I could. I turned to look at him, confused.

“Well,” he started, “maybe, just in case I can’t have you as my nurse again, we could exchange numbers and keep in touch that way.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you trying to hit on me Machine Gun Kelly?”

“Colson,” he corrected. “That’s my real name, it’s Colson.”

“Colson,” I tried. The name felt right coming from my lips, and I could tell he thought the same because his face brightened when I said it. “Well, if you’d like to keep in touch, I suppose I could give you my number.”

Colson was so excited by my response that he nearly dropped his phone trying to get it from his pocket. I chuckled and took his phone, putting my name and number into his contacts and passing it back to him.

“Watch your stitches,” I warned him before finally walking out of the room.

I felt like I was floating on cloud nine as I walked to the receptionists desks, where some of the other nurses and training students were stood around talking. Diane noticed me first and immediately broke from her group.

“How did it go?” she asked.

“Went perfect!” I told her. “I stitched up his hand and checked his nose. No sign of breakage, and he seems to know how to deal with stitches.”

“He’s more stitch and tattoo than man at this point,” she joked. “Good on you, kid. That’s your first big patient in the bag.”

I looked over my shoulder to the room where I had left Colson and smiled to myself. My first patient definitely went better than I could’ve ever expected.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Nine

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: reading canon eris discourse literally makes me dizzy but in this fic he's pretty chill

***

“Any plans for Thanksgiving?” Emerie asks as they stroll between the shelves of the library.

Nesta runs her finger down the spine of a textbook on corporate law. “Not really,” she murmurs distantly.

She’s been doing her best not to think of the upcoming holidays, in fact. Cassian is going to Velaris for Thanksgiving, and of course Feyre invited Nesta as well, but…

She’s always ignored her sister’s holiday invites, but this year is different. Cassian, a recent constant in her life, will be gone, enjoying himself for the first time in months without her presence. And Nesta will be at the cabin alone, because of course she can’t celebrate Thanksgiving with Feyre’s found family. Being friends with Cassian hasn’t changed that.

“Well,” Emerie is saying, “a bunch of us can’t go home for the holidays for one reason or another, so we’re hosting a small Friendsgiving at my apartment. You’re invited.”

Nesta glances at her, surprised. “Who’s going to be there?”

“The same guys from drinks night: Eris, Justinian, Isaac. Maybe a plus one or two if we’re lucky.” She elbows Nesta. “Maybe a girl for me to take home.”

“I thought the party was at your home already?”

“You know what I mean. Anyway, are you coming?”

Nesta purses her lips. “But you said it was a Friendsgiving. Those guys aren’t my friends.”

Emerie looks at her like she's insane. “Uh, why not?”

“Because,” Nesta states, “we’ve only had one real interaction all semester.”

Emerie scoffs. “You talk to them all the time in class, Nesta.”

“Yes. Out of necessity.”

Emerie raises a high brow. “That’s how you view spending time with us? A ‘necessity’?”

She’s upset, and Nesta doesn’t know what she said wrong. “That’s not what I meant,” she tries to say.

“Then what did you mean?”

“I just…” Nesta shrugs. “I thought it took more to make friends than a single night out.” Those are the rules, right?

Emerie narrows her dark eyes at her. “I’m sorry we’re not up to standard, then. But for your information, those guys liked you. I’m sure they considered you a friend.” She turns to leave, but Nesta is so stunned she can’t even try to stop her. The click of Emerie’s heels resonate long after she’s gone.

“Hey,” Cassian comes up to her later that day. “About Thanksgiving—”

Nesta drops her dinner plate onto the island with a clatter. “What is it with everybody and Thanksgiving?” Her voice is unnecessarily loud.

Cassian blinks. “Well, it’s only a few days away—”

“I know,” she says. “I’m fine staying home alone. We never celebrated Thanksgiving growing up, you know? It’s really not a big deal.”

“Will you let me finish, Nesta?”

Nesta presses her lips together.

Cassian takes a breath. “I think you should— I would really love it if you came to Velaris with me this weekend.”

There’s a silence as he waits for her to answer.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says after a moment.

Before he can press the subject, she blurts, “I already have plans.”

“You do?” Nesta can’t tell if he sounds disappointed or surprised.

She straightens her back, lying through her teeth, “Yes. Some friends from school are getting together for a Friendsgiving, and I’m going.” She almost bites her tongue on the word friends. She doesn’t even know what that means anymore.

“That’s amazing,” Cassian says, though he still looks a little taken aback. “I’m glad.” He looks down at the marble counter then, trying to smile. “Sucks for me, though.”

Nesta huffs a laugh. “Please, like you won’t be having fun with your friends whether I’m there or not.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but why go for half the fun when I could go for double?”

“That’s not how math works,” she snipes.

Cassian grabs a fork so he can sit down across from Nesta. “Don’t you ever bring up correct math in this house again.” He points his silverware at her threateningly.

From there, they can devolve into their usual dinner habit of bantering that leads to more serious conversation. Cassian has recently been on a French movie binge, Nesta learns, and even though she despises the French, she listens closely to his analysis of each film and offers her own thoughts back. She even promises to rewatch one or two of his favorites at a later time. The giddiness he gives in return makes her almost wish she had accepted his invitation earlier, if only so she could keep making him happy.

God. What is he doing to her?

Later that night, Nesta pulls out her phone and opens up her messages with Emerie. She doesn’t want to have rejected Cassian just to end up staying home alone all weekend. She types out five different messages and erases them before settling on an apathetic, Is the invite for Thursday still on?

Emerie takes her time to reply, likely to punish Nesta. After some minutes, she finally texts, Yes.

It’s all she can expect from Emerie, and it’s all she needs to see.

Nesta: I’ll be there.

***

“Cassian!” Feyre swings open the door with an overjoyed smile, ready to greet him.

He laughs and steps in for a hug, going so far as to lift her feet off the floor. Because damn him, even with his conflicted feelings towards Feyre lately, he’s missed her. He’s missed all of his friends, even though he’s found something precious while he was away from them.

He’s ushered into the penthouse, which Feyre and Rhys insist on calling an “apartment”, as if that softens the blow of their extravagant wealth. Cassian and everybody else goes along with it, however, because the rich have committed worse crimes. At least that’s what Nesta says.

“Rhys is out getting last minute beer from the gas station,” Feyre says as she takes his overnight bag. “And you’re the first to arrive, which means I have you all to myself.” She whirls on him with a predatory gleam in her eye. “Tell me everything about the last two months with you and Nesta, ASAP.”

Cassian’s heart starts racing at the unexpected interrogation, but he laughs it off and shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just roommates.”

“Well, I know that.” Feyre rolls her eyes. “But what is it like? How is it going? Is she okay? Are you okay?”

Before he can answer a single question, Feyre goes on. “I haven’t heard from either of you in eons, it feels like. Is Nesta still picky about her foods touching? Does she get upset when you play music too loud? Does she—”

“Jesus, Feyre,” Cassian interrupts loudly. “Not everything in my life is about your sister. Give it a rest.” He takes his duffel bag back from her.

“I’m just curious!” she says indignantly, but Cassian is already heading up the winding stairs to his guest room, going as fast as he can without outright running.

“I need to get washed up!” he announces before Feyre can make him stop and come back for more questioning.

In the safety of his bedroom, he releases a breath.

If Cassian thought keeping Nesta’s health issues from Feyre was difficult, he couldn’t have predicted how painful it would be to hide his feelings for Nesta. Still, he doesn’t dare expose what he can’t yet define, especially not to his nosy-ass friends. Some things just aren’t matters for gossip.

***

Nesta hesitantly enters Emerie’s small studio apartment to a party in full swing; “full swing” being Justinian and Isaac playing video games on the couch while Emerie is in the kitchen area attempting to make drinks. Nesta stops near the kitchenette and crosses her arms, surveying the scene. “Something about this doesn’t look right,” she says aloud. Emerie doing the hard work while the men play? Antithetical to her very nature.

“I know,” is all Emerie says without looking up from whatever hellish concoction she’s whipping up. “But I’m the host, so this is my role.”

“Hey, Nesta,” the guys speak up together, not taking their eyes off the TV. Isaac is the first to break his concentration from the game, glancing at Nesta and doing a double take. “Woah, you look good today.” Is he blushing?

Emerie finally looks up at that, eyeing Nesta’s modest black dress. “A little funeral-chic, but still hot as ever, babe.” Right after, she makes a face at the term babe. “Nope, I tried it and I hate it.”

Nesta hates it just as much, but goes over to help Emerie with what she now realizes are oddly colored Jello shots. She picks up a little plastic cup with dark jelly in it and wiggles it around. “What color is this supposed to be?”

“Brown.” Emerie blows a piece of escaped hair out of her face. “They were supposed to be Thanksgiving themed.”

Nesta surveys the shots arranged in various fall colors. Definitely an interesting choice for a twenty-four year old law student, but what did Nesta know about parties?

“Where’s Eris?” she asks casually as she helps arrange more cups. Her argument with Emerie is far from forgotten, but the two women are too alike for their own good. They’ll ignore the lingering tension until it dissipates, and that will be the end of that.

Before Emerie can answer Nesta’s question, a loud bang comes from the entryway as the already open door hits the wall. Eris Vanserra sweeps inside in his designer coat and sophisticated boots, followed by a new, striking face. “It’s fucking freezing,” he announces, just as the new guy quietly shuts the door behind them.

“You’re late,” Emerie says in her usual flat tone.

“I had to pick up my twerp brother.” Eris tilts his head toward the redhead behind him.

“I didn’t ask to come,” the new guy, Eris’s brother, chimes in.

Nesta is perked up now, angling to get a better look at him. Same hair color, same eyes, different skin tone from Eris. He looks like the relaxed, unpretentious version of his brother. Someone pauses the video game.

“I’m Lucien,” he awkwardly raises a hand.

Justinian looks at everybody else. “I’m confused— does this mean we can finally replace Eris’s punk ass?”

The thought of an unexpected guest first makes Nesta clench up, especially when she’s seated right next to the damn guy at the dining table. New people means everything about the regular social routine will be changed up, and she isn’t at all prepared for it.

It takes maybe fifteen minutes for her to realize that Lucien is nothing to worry about— much quicker than she’s ever warmed up to a stranger before.

He has the affected quiet confidence of someone who would rather be anywhere else but here. No one knows that mask better than Nesta.

Against all odds, she’s the first to initiate a conversation.

“Why are you here?” she says bluntly.

No hello, no how are you. Fuck, this is why she doesn’t talk to people.

Lucien looks surprised at the sudden acknowledgment, but answers, “My plans got cancelled at the last minute.” His mouth tightens as he looks toward his brother. “So Eris dragged me here instead.”

“You don’t like your brother?”

Lucien narrows his eyes at her, defensive. “Is this an interrogation or something?”

Embarrassment heats Nesta’s face, but she hides it under her usual cold stare. “Never mind.”

She turns back to her food, refocusing on an anecdote Isaac is giving about a girl he met the other week. A moment later, Lucien says lowly, “I can’t stand my brother.”

She laughs a little too loudly at that, and everyone looks at her.

Isaac grins. “See, Nesta thinks it’s a funny story.”

Nesta frowns. “No, I don’t. You told it last week and no one laughed.”

His face falls. Eris laughs out loud at him, and Emerie tosses wadded up napkins at both men. “You’re both deeply uninteresting. Let’s talk about me.”

She launches into a heated discussion about how she plans to defeat “that bitch Brian” for the internship at Velaris’s biggest law firm next summer, with Eris interjecting that she wouldn’t survive a day in the big city. Nesta turns back to Lucien. “I understand how you feel.”

“You hate Eris too?”

“No, but I have sisters.” Eris is nice, if a pretentious asshole at times, but she empathizes with Lucien either way.

He raises a brow. “And you’re here for Thanksgiving instead of with them?”

For the first time all night, Nesta remembers that Cassian is having fun in a spacious penthouse with Feyre and Elain and the others, likely eating much nicer food than store-bought turkey and Jello shots, and she almost deflates. Almost. Because as much as she enjoys this— spending time with people that belong to her, not Feyre or anybody else— there’s a hollow space in the room that Cassian usually fills. She doesn’t know how she can miss someone and be this thoroughly content at the same time, but she tries not to ponder on her feelings.

She shrugs at Lucien’s question. “We’re all here instead of with our families.”

What would have been a thirty-minute meal on Nesta’s own stretches into a long night of full bellies and fuller conversation. Justinian demands a toast in honor of Friendsgiving, and Emerie tells him not to pull that cringy shit, but everyone ends up raising their small Jello shots to clink against each other.

Thanksgiving might be Nesta’s favorite holiday.

***

Cassian doesn’t know what this feeling is: the itching, nervy sense of impatience that plagues him the longer dinner drags on. All he knows is that tonight Mor’s laughter is just a little too loud, and Amren’s quips are just a little too sharp, and Rhys’s stories aren’t very interesting for once.

Nothing about his friends have changed, but somehow, Cassian feels different. Empty. He can’t stop thinking about what Nesta is doing right now.

He checks his phone under the table for the sixth time in three minutes, for what, he doesn’t know. Maybe she’s in trouble and needs his help. Maybe she’s having a bad night and wants to talk to him. Maybe she’s just bored and thinking about him.

None of this is true, evidently, because his phone remains dead silent.

“Cassian.” It’s Elain’s gentle voice that draws him out of his head. “What’s it like having a roommate for once? I know you and Nesta love being alone.”

He nearly jumps out of his skin. “Alone? No we don’t. Why would we love being alone together?”

Elain looks at him like he’s grown a new head. “I didn’t mean alone together. It’s just that you’ve always spent your time boarded up in that mountain cabin on your own, and before Nesta moved in, she wouldn’t leave her apartment even to see me.”

“I never thought of it that way,” Feyre butts in. She whirls to Cassian with her hands under her chin. “All this time I was wondering what you and Nesta living together would be like, and I didn’t even consider you guys avoiding each other.”

Cassian scoffs a laugh but doesn’t know how to respond. He just wants Feyre and Elain to stop poking at this raw, fresh thing in his life before his nerves get worse, so he turns to Amren and brings up the thing he knows will shut everyone down: work. “How much longer is Rhys gonna have you playing double agent at Adriatic?” She’s been acting as brand ambassador to the West Coast-based conglomerate for the past five months, playing nice while gathering information on Night Court Inc.’s biggest competitor.

Groans resound around the table, but Amren’s eyes brighten frightfully. “If he keeps me there any longer, I might end up staying for good.”

Rhysand smiles thinly. “Amren has a crush on their new CFO. If she keeps going on about Varian’s pretty face I might pull her out of Adriatic by the end of the year.”

Just as Cassian is about to convince himself to care, his phone vibrates in his hand. Everything tunes out as he sees Nesta’s name on the screen, attached to a new text. He clicks into it.

A picture of Nesta and her friends around a dinner table pops up, smiling and laughing. His heart catches in his throat at the image.

“What did we say about phones during dinner, Cassian?” Rhysand interrupts just then.

Cassian stands up quickly, stammering, “Uh, I just need to answer this call— it’s important.” Azriel is staring up at him like he’s lost his mind, but Cassian doesn’t notice or care as he rushes out of the room with his phone in a death grip, overcome.

Alone in a hallway bathroom, he lets himself look at the picture again, hungrily absorbing every detail he couldn’t catch the first time around: her face is flushed and her hair is down, wilder than usual. Her smile is so rarely genuine that it kills him a little just to see it; he doesn’t know whether to be relieved or pained that she’s having such a good time, that she isn’t missing him like he’s missing her. A sharp-faced girl that Cassian assumes is Emerie is holding the camera, likely having stolen Nesta’s phone to demand a picture, and the two women are surrounded by guys he doesn’t recognize. Except—

The face beside Nesta’s catches Cassian’s attention, and he clicks to zoom in. “Is that Lucien Vanserra?” he mutters.

Elain’s ex gets to hang out with Nesta while he doesn’t? This is fucked.

He doesn’t have a reason for his actions as he shoves his phone into his pocket and exits the bathroom. He just knows he needs to get out of here, away from this place that’s so far from Nesta’s heart.

His keys and coat hang near the front door, and he can hear Feyre’s voice from the dining room. “Cassian? Where are you—”

The door slams behind him before she can finish.

***

Being the only one who refused to get drunk off Jello shots, Eris offers to drive Nesta home for the night.

While Lucien is passed out in the backseat without a care in the world, Nesta is so awake she can feel her nerves buzzing. She knows as soon as she leaves this car, the bittersweet loneliness that comes after a party will set in, but for now…

What a night. She sighs and lets her head fall back against the seat, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Damn,” Eris lets out a low whistle as he pulls up to the mountain cabin. “This is your place?”

She lifts her head, realizing she’s home. “Ah. It’s only a temporary living situation,” she explains. “It’s my— friend’s place.”

“Friend or sugar daddy?” Eris smirks.

Nesta scowls, grabbing her stuff and pushing open the door to leave. It’s not Eris’s fault she’s unable to take a joke about Cassian, but that doesn’t change the sensitivity of the topic.

“Hey, wait—” he calls after her.

She pauses to look back at him. He hesitates, then says, “Good night.”

“Take care of your brother,” she directs. Stepping out of his fancy car, she shuts the door and raises a hand in goodbye, watching him pull away from the cabin.

Alone in the driveway, Nesta stands under the moonlight for a long moment, letting the chill seep into her bones. She’s dawdling.

She pauses again at the front door, her hand on the doorknob. The dreaded loneliness is already coming over her, crawling over her skin and making a home in the cage of her ribs.

A whole weekend without Cassian.

Maybe she should have asked Emerie if she could stay over for the night, but a part of her knows it would have been futile. Emerie can’t replace Cassian’s constant presence, no matter how much Nesta likes her.

It’s only three days. She steels herself and unlocks the door, prepared to be greeted by darkness and hollow silence.

The first thing she notices when she steps inside is the sound of crackling, followed by a warm glow from the living area. The lights are all off, but the fireplace is ablaze.

Nesta’s brows furrow, confused, but then she sees on the couch— “Cassian?”

***

a/n: i know justinian and isaac are names for side characters that sjm has used before but in this case they're completely different ocs.

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @sensitiveillyrian @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja

[iayhifbigyakwiltbsywps]

Fuckkk I had something really long written but my connection failed and now I can’t find it but this is important if you or someone you know has adhd and takes stimulant medications like methylphenidate. This will probably be weird because I wrote the original like 12 hours ago and I just got home so if the other one magically reappears then they will be really different.

Basically I wanted to make people aware that taking stimulant medications has the potential to do more harm than good. I have adhd and have drank concerta since the third grade and im currently in 11th. I have been noticing throughout the 2019-now time period that I really have lost all motivation and that I don’t really have interest in anything even getting up to eat. And I was like ‘well that’s not alright’ and so I did what every one does: I googled it. I asked google “can adhd medications cause brain damage and lessen motivation?” And honestly I was not really expecting an answer, kinda just hoping to see blankness and be relived that it was just something random I thought. Boy was I surprised.

I actually found this:

This is literally the answer I was too scared to find because a) it proved my suspicions correct and did kinda bring a different kind of relief in knowing I’m not just hysteric and b) this hit wayyy too close to home. The part in blue feels wayyy too familiar to me because all I do Is be on my bed on my phone most of tinge time and my parants keep getting concerned and like “go get a job, find a hobby, do something!” And I am honestly strangely alright with my situation, like I hate it but I still don’t try to change it because I can’t!

Forgot what else I could of said there on the fist draft, but onto the next peice of evidence!

This pretty much said that this meds were tested on rats and that the rats ended up losing all motivation to even react when they should be looking to escape a bad situation. That once the medication stops we no longer have drive to motivation.

This also states that the nucleus accumbens is the part of the brain that forms motivation into action and when you take these meds your actually risking it shrinking and leading to no motivational drive.

Also that there are other options if you are convinced you or your child needs help to lead a successful life then there are other options that are not stimulants!

I also found some videos but could only resurfaced one which I think is the most important: https://youtu.be/nif8TFPhjuI

This video basically talks about one of the beginning trails of adhd medications that ended up being a huge success after the recorded 14 months that this trial was conducted, but what most people who do their research probably don’t dig deep enough to check that after they took the pills away they came back 3 years later to see how they faired. Turns out that the my were actually worse and the adhd was too much or something. ( sorry I’m trying to remember what I wrote but I only slept like 10 minutes last night and it’s already 1am so my eyes are shutting)

I can’t remember much right nos but if I find the other articles or videos Ik re log or something.

Here are the links to the articles:

https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/06/09/fewer-prescriptions-for-adhd-less-drug-abuse/adhd-drugs-have-long-term-risks

https://www.leonardsax.com/stimulants.htm

There were more but I’m fighting To stay awake right now sorry.

Oh I just remembered something:

This is what happens when you give stimulants to a brain that is underdeveloped (brains aren’t yet developed until they are like 21) so if y’all need meds try taking non stimulants or else you’ll just cause growth problems for yourself

I really hope some people find this useful and that no one goes through what I am cuz it really kinda sucks and I hate it but I can’t do much to change it.

Also after hours trying to figure out a way to tell my mom I had finally told her and you know what she said? She said “if we take you of these meds will you promise to try to care about yourself more?” And like I didn’t say anything but sure mom I totally didn’t just work up the courage to try and tell you within the day I found this informants on when it would usually take me months to say things I think are important but yeah I totally need to try a bit more ugh!

Honestly I think it’s shit that I’m not even 18 yet and I already feel like all my fight has gone out of me. Like if it weren’t for my parents that actually care about me I would of let myself starve to death. And now there’s no way to thank them because I can barely move to get food much less show them my thanks. Mom dad I love you and I’m sorry my brain if fucked up.

Hi just a little edit here, I wanted to say that both articles are by the same person I just put the second one because the link didn’t work for me so I had to look for their actual page that was mentioned. But also I read further down on the second article and I saw there are more links to other related articles in the second link where this person wrote their actual research and citations

[pbandjesse]

I'm walking around the musuem right now. It's a good day. It was a sleepy day. But a good day.

I had a horrible nightmare last night. I only remember little bits of it. But the worst part was thinking someone was in the apartment. And I woke up and fear was in my whole body down to my toes. I was so tired that I knew I couldn't get up and check but also I was just. So scared. I pulled James over top my myself and was able to calm down and fall asleep.

I woke up at 8 and had to take a few extra minutes to put on my new prescriptions. The doctor for back to me and I was correct about not layering the medication. But it took me a few minutes to get ready.

I got myself together though and it was a lot cooler then I expected. Also very very rainy. But it was all fine. I headed to the museum and was alright.

I got there a little before the meeting. And waited on the lunchroom. Helped Jessica move around a few things. And worked on my tatting. I have figured out how to weave rings together but I still can't get them on a line next to each other. But at least I'm successfully getting the rings down.

The meeting was good. And we figured out how we're going to best do the market. There is some fogginess of the hours because I'm also going to be a vender but we'll figure it out. It felt like a successful meeting. And I signed some paperwork and asked some questions. And then it was time to go back home.

I got back here and had a snack and did my knitting. I played with the tatting a bit. I tried to hang some stuff up but couldn't find a stud so I gave up before I ruined the wall. And hung some of my prints instead.

I wanted to do some kind of art but I was cold and the dreary weather made me just want to lay down.

So at noon I switched into my hoodie and got in bed. I cuddled with Sweetp and watched videos and it was nice just resting. But I had wanted to actually sleep. But I couldn't turn my brain off.

Eventually I plugged my phone in on the other side of the room and was able to sleep for an hour. I did go eat lunch first. And I think that helped too. The rest was very needed.

When I woke up I was a little shakey tired. But I fixed my makeup and put my dress back on. And headed out into the rain.

I helped the UPS driver with getting a package inside. And then drove down to locust point.

I went to 7/11 and had a nice conversation with the guy who worked there. He made me fresh pizza and we talked. He didn't know that the musuem was literally 100 feet from where he works. So that made me laugh. Literally no one knows we're here. Why. I hope he does come check us out.

It's been a fun night so far though. I got here an hour early to give the car to James so they could go pick up their new bike. And I went and ate my pizza. I played with my tatting. Got the weaving thing to work. Enjoyed talking to the other venders I now know because I'm here so much. It's been nice.

I also have had some awesome conversations. One guy let me basically talk at him about my thesis and art. And a bunch of them are fire fighters. And while a few people are way to polite and we're like. Oh no you don't have to talk to me or do machines or anything. And I'm just like. This is my favorite thing. Let me talk about history with you!!! But it's still been a good night.

Now though I'm just waiting for James to be done at the theater and come and get me. This wedding was really lovely. I even got to see the first look and help with photos. It's been really fun.

I am going to spend my day tomorrow doing art and maybe going to second chance to look for a box to keep my clothes in at camp this year. But for the most part I just want to make art.

I hope you all have a good night. Take care of each other. Enjoy the rain.

[spiderling-space]

Hi and welcome to the fandom. May I please ask for headcanons for the first years reactions on discovering that fem MC who is also they're crush, is a rhythmic gymnast.

Ngl, I had to check what rhythmic gymnast is. I learned a new phrase today. I thought every gymnasts did artistic one. The women, their dresses and their dances are so pretty??? All the shining outfits 😍😍😍😍

Warning: there is a tiny Ace’s Ghost Marriage Suit Story Part 2 spoiler in the last bullet point of Jack

PS: I feel like everyone in TW has tsundere tendencies

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Ace Trappola

This guy has hard time admitting his true feelings. He knows how he feels but he thinks showing his true emotions is weak.

Ace knows he is crushing on (Y/N). What is he doing? Confessing his feelings? Dude no that’s ridiculous thing to say.

What he does is to mess around with (Y/N).

When he thinks she has nice hair, instead of telling her that he messes with her hair just like kindergarten boy.

(Y/N) think he should be the one in kindergarten.

One day she gets fed up with his childish attitude. “You know what, Ace? I am a professional rhythmic gymnast; been practicing it as long as I know of myself.” — “Eh? What’s that supposed to mean?” — “I’ll leave it your interpretation...”

(Y/N) yeets herself away, leaving Ace alone who wonders what rhythmic gymnast is.

Ace searches internet to learn about it throughout.

When he concludes his research, he tries to understand what (Y/N) meant.

Was she threatening him because he noticed the gymnasts having strong arm and leg muscles?

Or was she flirting with him because the gymnasts were flexible?

Ace is flushed either from fear or another emotion.

He plans to conduct a scheme to get (Y/N) to perform rhythmic gymnastics.

He just wants to see if her performance is similar to the ones he saw on Internet.

Whether or not he thought about how the gymnast’s suit would look on her is unclear.

♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️

Deuce Spade

It took some time for Deuce to talk with an actual girl. He literally couldn’t speak with (Y/N) at first.

He doesn’t know how it started but he began wanting to spend more time with her, preferably alone, trying to come up with random topics to start talking with her and when she isn’t around, he asks Grimm where she is

When he tells his mother this predicament, his mother is walking on air

“My baby is growing up so fast! Next thing I know you’ll marry that girl!”

Deuce is flustered “W-w-what are you saying mother?” Cue to his mom telling him he has a crush on you.

When Deuce comes to terms with it, he googles (Y/N)’s name and sees her name in a MagiTube video. He clicks on it and sees that she is a rhythmic gymnast!

He watches all the videos of hers.

Next time he sees her, he can’t look her in the eyes because he saw her in her glory!

He feels unprepared to confess his feelings. In a way he is correct because he can’t speak with her again.

🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

Jack Howl

Jack is going to Ramshackle to visit to strictly check up on (Y/N). No sir there is absolutely no other reason behind it.

My goodness he is a tsundere. He will never admit he has feelings for (Y/N); maybe he doesn’t even realize it.

When he reaches Ramshackle, his ears pick up a song coming from backyard.

He checks it out and sees (Y/N) jumping around with a ribbon on her hands.

He first thinks it’s a form of martial art so he observes how it is done.

For a moment he suspects it’s not a martial art but a sort of dance when he sees the way she twists her body. Then he dismisses it because only martial arts would require that much leg and core strength right?

When (Y/N) finishes her routine, Jack comes to her side.

With a blush on her cheeks “Were you watching me?” — “I didn’t want to interrupt your training.” — “Training?”

(Y/N) explains what she was doing then Jack becomes more curious about it and asks more questions.

He may not want to admit it but he wants to learn about (Y/N)’s interests, wanting to know her better. After all, in his culture there is only one partner in their whole lives which was something he wasn’t thinking about while chatting with her.

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

Epel Felmier

Epel comes from country side where wasn’t many other activities to do other than farming.

When (Y/N) mentions she is a rhythmic gymnast, he thought it was something had to do with rhythm games he heard about.

“I thought it was called gamer?” — “Huh?” — “Aren’t you calling yourself rhythmic gymnast because you play rhythm games professionally?”

Oh sweet child of mine, Epel is embarrassed when he learns what it really means.

(Y/N) shows some of her performances.

Epel watches each video attentively, mesmerized by the beauty of her moves.

A cute blush spreads over his cheeks as sees her outfit and make up. Everything about her beautiful.

Epel now can understand how he ended up in Pomefiore, seeing beauty in (Y/N)’s performance. In fact he sees beauty in everything she does and he doesn’t know why, assuming that it was Vil and Rook’s influence on him because they talk about beauty all the time.

When (Y/N) asks if he wants to see her practice, his heart starts to beat faster for some reason.

Epel doesn’t trust his voice to not crack so he only nods

Epel needs to be given The Talk to find out what that feeling is. Who will though? Vil? Rook? Leona?

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek doesn’t have free time much. He is either guarding Malleus, training or studying. Recently he discovered (Y/N) is his type!

So as the most logical thing, he invites (Y/N) to training.

He doesn’t affirm the fact he wanted to show off his forming muscles and training to (Y/N).

(Y/N) accepts the offer and brings her equipment. She wore her gymnast outfit before coming to Diasomnia.

When she arrives to training center, there is only Sebek there, apparently Silver fell asleep again.

Sebek is displeased

He sees the small bag (Y/N) is carrying and asks about it.

“You invited me to train correct? I thought I could also train for rhythmic gymnastics competition.”

Sebek has never heard a competition such that.

“You’ve never seen one??? Le shock! Worry not, my friend, I’ll show you.”

(Y/N) takes off her coat and Sebek has almost an heart attack.

“HUMAN, WHERE ARE REST OF YOUR CLOTHING?!?!”

(Y/N) got used to Sebek’s booming voice. “It’s what gymnast wear, Sebek. Also I have clubs!” She takes them out of the bag and plays a song on her phone to get in the mood.

(Y/N) starts slowly but as the seconds pass, she performs complex moves.

Sebek is astonished! He had never seen such elegant and graceful movements. He didn’t think (Y/N) would be that strong, agile and coordinated.

He also wonders if she has all the bones in her body because he doesn’t think a normal human could bend their back as much as she does.

(Y/N) starts to do jumping tricks.

“DON’T LOOK AT HER!!!”

Sebek’s unexpected yell causes (Y/N) to fall on her butt.

She rubs the place as she checks out why Sebek yelled.

She understands the reason once she spots Silver.

Before Sebek could have time to adjust the idea of wearing a tight fitting, revealing body suit, Silver showed up! Of course he will try to cover Silver’s eyes!!!

——————————————————————————

I honestly think all TW boys are a bit old fashioned, especially Diasomnia hshshw

[allthings-chaos]

That's cool you make requests! Would you mind to write a scenario what KI3T is having a romantic date with his young adult female girlfriend? I thought KI3T could have developped personality more than before 🤔 Thanks!

Yes! I apologize for the wait, I have been busy! Forewarning, I am not the best with romantic scenes, but I did try. I hope you like it!

Word Count: 1,238

Requested:

~

“How come (Y/N) gets to leave?”

Sarah, Mike, Billy, and Zoe were all in the main area of the SSC with KITT and.. Well, you- and you had a bag packed, one that would last a few days.

“Mike, I already told you, we’re all taking turns to decompress. She’s first because KITT asked that she go first.” Sarah explained to Mike, who was quite literally pouting at that time.

“You traitor!” Mike huffed at KITT, sitting down on the couch that he and Billy had just moved in front of KITT.

KITT didn’t respond, as he opened his driver door for you to hop in.

Once you had gotten into the driver’s seat, and put the seat belt on, KITT drove out through the tunnel, as you simply set your bag into the passenger seat. “So, where are we going?”

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?” KITT responded, to which you just rolled your eyes. “Can you at least tell me how long it'll be until we get there?”

“Three hours, fourteen minutes, and seventeen seconds.”

“Really? So I could take a nap then-” You responded, with a laugh.

“You could.”

You then frowned, staring at his dash for a while, before you sighed. “This is going to be real boring if you go all silent on me.”

“Would you prefer that I play a movie for you?” KITT responded simply, trying to make the drive less boring.

“Well, sure, but why are you acting so odd?” You asked him, raising a brow as you looked at the movie he had put onto the hologram screen. “It’s not like everyone at the SSC is watching us.”

They all, in fact, were watching, and KITT was aware of this.

You took the hint at his silence, and grinned. “Why’re you all spying? That’s not very nice.”

Right then, the video chat screen popped up with Zoe. “It was Billy’s idea.”

“Billy?” You laughed again, “Billy’s too innocent. It was either your idea, or Mike’s.”

“I tried to give KITT some tips on flirting, I wanted to see if he’d use them.” Zoe shrugged, although Mike was laughing in the background, so clearly some of it had been his idea.

“Either way, you’re making KITT uncomfortable.” You told them, shaking your head. “So if you could leave us be, that would be great.”

“Oh come on, we need some amusement too-”

“Going offline.” KITT stated, before the chat disappeared, and you began to laugh.

“Oh, good one!” You told KITT, “Now they really can’t bother us, can they?”

“The only way for them to contact us, would be through your cell phone.”

“I’ll shut it off,” You shrugged, getting your phone out and shutting it all the way down. “I don’t want to be bothered.”

“I do not wish for us to be interrupted either.” KITT actually admitted. “However, we will need to make a stop in approximately one hour, to refuel.”

You nodded, covering yourself up with the blanket you’d brought along. “Okay. Wake me up once we get to a gas station then?”

“I will.”

It was exactly one hour later when KITT woke you up, right as he pulled into a gas station. You yawned as you sat up, digging your wallet out of your bag. “Gas with a side of sugar?”

“Gas only, please.” KITT responded, although he knew you were only joking. You’d gotten after Mike once for threatening KITT with sugar.

You soon had filled up KITT’s tank, then decided to go into the small gas station, grabbing your favorite candy and drink, before paying and going back out to KITT. You hopped into the driver's seat again, before closing the door. “Do you ever get tired, KITT?”

“In what context?”

“I dunno.. I just wondered if you ever like.. feel tired? In any way?” You responded, pulling your blanket up to your chin as he began to drive away.

“I suppose I do.” KITT responded, turning onto the highway, and continuing on to their destination. “Perhaps it is more from annoyance.”

“From Mike?” You asked, knowing that was who annoyed KITT. “Do I ever annoy you?”

“No, you do not.”

“Well that’s good.” You shrugged with a tired smile, “I’m going to nap for a bit longer, unless you want to talk.”

“I believe it would be best if you slept for a while longer, you appear to be fatigued.” KITT seemed to enjoy having some silence.

You nodded, balling up a bit of your blanket against the window, before resting your head on it, trying to go back to sleep. “G’night, KITT.”

“Goodnight.” Normally KITT would have corrected you about it not being night, but he had stopped doing that recently.

Eventually, KITT had come to a stop outside of a small cabin that had access to a private beach, although he let you wake up on your own, not wanting to disturb you.

Once you’d woken up, KITT spoke up. “We have arrived.”

You nodded, yawning before pulling the blanket off of yourself. “I see that. Just in time for the sunset too, huh?”

“I planned it that way.” KITT admitted, “Would you like to go to the beach?”

“I’d love to- but KITT,” You started, as he began driving around the cabin and to the beach. “You’re not going into the water. I am not cleaning seaweed off of you again.”

“I suppose that is fair.”

Once he had parked in the sand, you decided to hop out of the car and lay your blanket down, sitting on that as the sun began to set. “Did you plan this all out?”

“I had some help from Sarah.” KITT admitted, “Do you like it?”

“I do,” You responded with a smile, “I’ll make sure Mike doesn’t tease you though, promise.”

“Thank you, (Y/N).” KITT responded, before his trunk popped open. “I brought your favorite snacks along.”

“You did? Aw, you’re too sweet.” You were maybe overly happy about the snacks, and hopped up to go get them, before soon sitting back down beside KITT, beginning to watch the sunset, as you leaned against the car.

The two of you sat in silence for quite awhile, as nothing needed to be said.. although KITT soon spoke. “There is something under the passenger seat for you.”

You looked over, admittedly a bit confused. “What’s under the seat?”

“I promise that it is not a spider.”

You then raised a brow, getting up and going over to look. “It better not be, cause if it is, I might have to give you the silent treatment-“ However, when you saw the box with a bow on it, and opened it up, it was a bit of a surprise. “A promise ring?”

“Yes,” KITT responded, “I would like to tell you that the ring was my own idea. Do you like it?”

“No- KITT, I love it!” You responded, slipping it onto your finger. “I’d be giving you a kiss right now if it were possible..”

“It may be possible, eventually. I have been trying to design a human body for myself.” KITT informed you, “Although it is proving difficult. I am glad that you like the ring.”

“KITT?” You started, after setting the box back into the passenger seat.

“Yes?” He responded, seeming to be unsure of what you were about to say.

“I love you.”

[bad-bitch-beauchamp]

Songs About Me - Chapter Three

After karaoke night and Claire's impromptu performance, both Claire and Jamie spend the next day reconciling with their choices from the night before.

Read on AO3

“Stay, Sassenach! One more drink!” 

“One more drink might be the death of me, Mr. Fraser, and if you’d like to watch me embarrass myself again next week, I can’t be on my deathbed tonight!” 

He had tried to convince her to let him walk her home, but she waved him off and pulled the sweater that had fallen off her shoulder back up to its rightful place at the junction of neck and shoulder -- a place Jamie couldn’t tear himself away from until that moment. She wrangled a loose curl behind her ear, tugged on her coat, and caught Jamie watching her every move, drink at his lips, eyes just over the rim of the glass. She could’ve stayed, could’ve responded, could’ve reacted to what she was feeling right then… no. A couple of hours together in a bar and a poor excuse for a solo at closing time did not change the fact she didn’t know this man. This very handsome man, she reminded herself. No. You came out here for yourself. Leave by yourself.

She met his eyes one last time, gave a nervous laugh, declared “Hope to see you next weekend!” all too loudly, and spun on her heel. She had stepped over the threshold when she thought she heard her name from inside, but she didn’t turn to find out. 

———

Claire realized exactly three things when she awoke the next morning: The sun was shining too brightly, the street musician playing on the corner directly below her bedroom window was playing too loudly, and the memories of the last night with the redhead who loved music and books were coming on too fast. Somehow, in the span of a few hours, he had literally become her waking thoughts. She sat up in bed, still cocooned in a cloud of white cotton sheets and linen comforters. What do you even know about him? Probably not even anything. She pulled herself from the warmth of the bed, her feet landing on a soft oriental rug in shades of blues and greens. His eyes were the colors in this rug. Just like the ocean itself. Okay, she remembered one thing about him. The woven textile gave way to worn hardwood floors, on to cool hexagon tiles lining her bathroom floor as she passed through glass french doors between bookshelves on the wall. 

When Claire inherited her Uncle Lamb’s brownstone, she could remember only one thing about the place from her visits: the upstairs was magical. Quentin Lambert Beauchamp was an archaeologist, and although it rarely happened, he had decided he needed a home base to work from. In the historic brownstone, he neglected to update much besides the upper level. As the brownstone was on a corner lot, Lamb declared it must have every window possible to let in the light. Days were too gloomy and cloudy in England, and he would soak up all the light he could while teaching here at Harvard, thank you very much. The most magical room in the entire home (according to both Beauchamps) was lined from front to back with alternating windows and storage -- wide bookshelves on the top, long cabinets on the bottom. The opposite side was almost entirely made of the same bookshelves, save for two sets of french doors leading to a large closet and a larger master bathroom, respectively. The bookshelves traveled up to a curved ceiling, rails and ladders lined the walls to reach the highest and most precious of his belongs (now hers as well). Claire had painted the walls and trim shades of white and cream and ivory. The shelves were stripped and stained with a neutral-tone light wood with white filler. The brass fixtures and ladder rails sparkled in the warm morning light. Claire placed plants wherever she could fit them, and donned the shelves with memories to mingle with the ones Lamb left behind. This room, this place, was her favorite in the whole world. 

Back in the bathroom and walking to the walk-in shower, Claire bent down to reach the sweater she tossed aside the night before. The underside of his hair is this color. Right at the base of his neck, with the extra curls. She shook her head and started the tap. Maybe all his curls would turn that color when he got wet. She turned the faucet as hot as she could stand it, reached an arm for her phone, and set Spotify to only play Blink-182. We’re done with those feelings! No feelings, only the angst possible with punk rock! 

Cold tile brought her down to earth again when she stepped out of the shower, the trails of water dripping down her back and breasts a refreshing break from the onslaught of pounding heat. He felt like a breath of fresh air. Just like this. 

With a towel wrapped around head and a t-shirt tossed on, she made her way back to the bedroom and took a seat on her bed. She desperately wished she had stayed for that last drink. Or at least got his number? Why didn’t I get his number?! Now, she’d have to wait another six days before seeing him again. Maybe her attraction to him was nothing more than lust, but if she could text with him, get to know him better, maybe she could find out. With no way of reaching him, she opted to get dressed and head out to clear her head. Maybe find a place to write? Since her decision to put herself first, she’d put letting off steam by writing and singing. It fell in live with the general creativity that fueled her life, while still being different enough from the greenhouse to give her a bit of rest and peace. As she contemplated where to adventure off that morning and pondered the correct way to lace her Doc Marten boots, her phone rang. A photo of three fresh faces graced her screen, a woman with wild dark curls with her mouth gaping with laughter, another woman with a waterfall of red hair and piercing green eyes made less intimidating by the crinkles at the edges, and a man with deep dimples surrounding his smile and an eyebrow raised in surprise at the camera taking their picture. Claire hit the accept button on the call, and thus the inquisition arrived. 

“We need to talk about last night!” The screen was split in two, with Geillis’ video on top and Joe’s on the bottom with Claire’s in the corner. 

“What about last night? I honestly thought our song was pretty good! I was thinking next week we could do--”

“That’s obviously not what we’re talking about, LJ! But agreed, we did a damn good job.”

“Will you two quit it?” Geillis cut them off and brought her face closer to her screen. “We need to talk about Claire, that viking, and the unreal chemistry. Spill it ALL, Claire.”

———

Jamie had woke nursing a headache, but alas, today would not be the day for rest. He flipped the sign in the window of Fraser Literature from closed to open, and began to check off the list of opening duties. On the list was to water the plants. Set on a table in a small alcove, on top of side table next to an worn leather chair for patrons to sit and peruse a story in, hanging from simple planters in the window that stretched from edge to edge in front of the shop, guarding the aisles of books ready to be enjoyed by people who hadn’t read them yet. Jamie often visited a greenhouse just outside town for the shop’s plants. While a small place, it was teeming with love, peacefulness, and a sense of adventure with green as far as the eye could see, boarding the windows with giant leaves and trailing vines. The feeling inside was something he wanted to emulate in his own place, and so he started adding a wee bit of flora here and there. Rupert and Angus initially laughed off his efforts, claiming Jamie was “destroying the manly vibe” they were aiming for. With every bit of decoration, every little bit of effort however, the shop grew in reputation and success. Jamie was immensely proud of the shop he built, and even more grateful he was able to spend his days surrounded by the words of great men and women, constantly inspired and in awe of the endless stories at his fingertips. 

The boys -- Angus and Rupert, that is -- had brought up the idea of expanding into a few other fine art ideas within the shop. Jamie had been reluctant to agree to anything that wasn’t directly related to literature. As they stood around the front counter, Rupert led the charge: 

“Jamie, man. The people who like books are also the ones who like art and music and such. Why not try to bring them all together?” 

“What if they don’t care about the books? What if they don’t even look at them, and don’t care? What’s the point in having the shop, then?”

It was Angus’ turn to reply with, “Well the point is getting people in the door, and letting your “wee shop” as ye always call it speak for itself, aye?” 

Jamie had to agree with that point. He settled for telling the lads that if they could come up with a suitable idea, he’d agree to it. Twenty minutes later, Angus and Rupert stood in his office doorway saying they would be asking for local musicians to come and perform. 

“Doesn’t seem like yer asking for approval.” 

Jamie didn’t look up from his computer, but could hear the grin in Rupert’s voice as he replied, “‘Tis because ye know it’s a good idea, and ye wouldn’t refuse a good idea.” 

Jamie sat back in the rolling leather chair behind his antique desk and sighed, then laughed. “Why do I even try to control what ye two do? Yer jes’ going to do it anyway.” The lads grinned at each other and shrugged. “Go on then, see if ye can have some posters made up to put in the window.” 

He stood as Rupert saluted him and Angus muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, “Aye aye, captain,” and stretched his long, lean, muscles. He needed to get a few errands completed, so opted to spend the next few hours outside both to complete his tasks and to get out in the fresh air. He told his friends he’d be back soon, and to let them know if he needed anything. 

With one step out into the sunlight, he immediately regretted the amount he had drunk the night before. Two in the morning was not a suitable time to be out, but for the lass with the dark curls and the whisky eyes, he’d give every moment of his time. From the moment he woke, he thought of her. Thought of how she made him laugh. Thought of how bonny she felt under his fingers, her hips on the barstool as she wiggled back into place, her thigh touching his under the booth table. He thought of how she’d gone up on stage as an act of defiance against him for the insult to her friend’s song, but how instead she ended up showing a piece of her soul to him, and him alone. He thought of how her eyes matched the swirling liquid in his glass. He thought of her abrupt departure after he had asked her to stay, and how he almost ran out after. He thought of how he was so incredibly stupid as to not have asked for her number before she ran. Look what ye did -- now ye have to wait to see her, and yer barely functional as it is. While Angus and Rupert had been gauging his interest for the musical talent in his office earlier, he had been searching the Facebook page for the 21st Amendment, combing it for references to her. To Claire. Maybe she had performed there? Perhaps she and her friends had tagged the place in one of their pictures? There was no sign of her, and she hadn’t told him her last name. Six days to go, mate. Ye can do this. She’s just a lass. Ye don’t know her. 

After a few hours of tedious tasks (could the post office ever be efficient, just this once?), he made his way back to Fraser Literature. It was a warm day for autumn, and the shop would have a cart with discount books out on the sidewalk and the door propped open for fresh air. He would never tire of seeing his name on something he built, something he was so proud of. As he neared the shop however, it wasn’t the name on the window that drew his attention -- it was the many people standing inside, facing the window, looking outside. Jamie stopped and looked around, but not finding anything out of place around him. He took a few steps closer. They weren’t looking outside, but rather at the inside corner of the shop, the corner where the window meets the wall. He was only a few steps away when he saw it, when he heard it. A woman with bouncy curls and a round arse, sitting with her back to the window at a keyboard bench. He didn’t have to see her face to know. Her voice was enough. It was enough at two in the morning to imprint on him forever. 

She was there, in his shop. His place. Claire. God, his Claire. 

With one shaky step and an attempt at a steadying breath, he moved inside his sanctuary.

[httpsfelicity]

“In a black dress, she’s such an actress” - Harry Styles × Model Reader AU (Part 2/?)

Summary - Harry meets a model downtown and falls for her quickly, leading the public to think that it’s a pr stunt. Unsure of what to think, the reader plays along, not knowing that Harry is unaware of the rumours.

For @cruizmanadu, @stephaniemalvie!, @kissessfordraco Xx

A/N - Part two! Thank you sooo much for the feedback on part one, I never expected it! Glad you guys like it so far. If you haven’t read part one, click here x Once again, if you’d like a part 3 / have suggestions / ect, just send a DM or ask! Here you go babessss :) 

Harry Styles: Hi

Y/n <3: Hi

Harry Styles: Why are you awake, it’s 3am?

Y/n <3: I could ask you the same thing, you messaged me first!

Harry Styles: You’re right. What’s up?

Y/n <3: Watching TV, you?

Harry Styles: Not much. Listening to The Beatles, y’know, normal night things.

Y/n <3: Never really got around to listening to them personally

Harry Styles: Omg reported and BLOCKED.

Y/n <3: Omg noooooo come back 

Harry Styles: Kiddinggggggg, but I have to make you listen to one of their albums sometime

Harry Styles: Are you free tomorrow?

Y/n <3: I have a shoot all day. I’m free the next day tho

Harry Styles: We could maybe do something then? The park?

Harry Styles: Unless you have a better idea, of course

Y/n <3: No that sounds great! What time?

Harry Styles: 7?

Y/n <3: Sure! :)

Harry Styles: Now, GO TO SLEEP!

Y/n <3: Only if you do!

Harry Styles: Okayyyy, goodnight!

Y/n <3: Goodnight!

Seen: 3:14am

As you crawled into bed, a feeling of satisfaction spread through you. He wanted to spend more time with you - that ought to be a good sign, right? “Maybe this could work out, after all,” was the last thing you thought before you fell asleep.

The next day was the usual whirlwind of events that occurred every shoot day - wake up early, take a cab over to the location (That particular day’s mystery place happened to be an old art studio), take another cab with some assigned lady to get you ready, another cab back to the location, then a whole day of photos. It was all a blur to you, so when the head of the whole operation thanked you at the end of the day, you were glad it was all over. Of course you adored your job, but considering the amount of sleep you’d gotten last night (Which, by the way, you did not regret one bit) you were thankful that in 45 minutes you’d be fast asleep.

What you did not expect, however, was for that little power nap to turn into a full 14 hours. By the time you woke up the next day, it was the crack of 11am. You sat up frantically, taking in your surroundings. You were still wearing your street clothes - jeans and a blouse - and a quick glance in the mirror revealed you hadn’t taken off your extravagant makeup, either. Trust me, it was not a pretty sight. You scrambled for your phone, and aside from all of the usual twitter notifications, DM requests, and messages from Ella and Harry (Which you were over the moon about), you noticed that you had 4 missed calls. From, none other than Harry.

You quickly clicked on his contact and dialed up his number. After a few rings, he picked up.

“Hi!” He said cheerfully.

“Hey,” you laughed. “Why did you call me? Four times, to be exact?”

“Just wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight. But then I got worried when you didn’t answer, so I called again to make sure everything was alright.”

“And again, and again.”

“Correct,” he laughed.

“Rough photoshoot. I was exhausted, and it wasn’t all that exciting. By the time I got home, I was asleep. Literally. I slept for 14 hours straight.”

Harry laughed so hard on the other end that you had to move your phone away from your ear for a couple of seconds so he could calm down. “Oh, wow, I... well, I guess it’s not that funny. That’s awful. You should’ve gotten more sleep the night before!”

“I would’ve, but somebody just had to message me at 3am!”

Cue another round of laughter. “Oh my god... look, I’m sorry, I really am! I didn’t know you had to wake up so early. I won’t message you so late into the night anymore, I promise.”

“Don’t promise that! I quite liked it. Besides, all of those shoots are the same. Nothing worth remembering, if you ask me.”

“Alright, alright, fine. But are we still on for later? If you’re still tired, we can reschedule...”

“No! After twice the amount of sleep I usually get, I feel like I could run a marathon. Seven?”

“Yup.”

“Okay. Gives me enough time to adjust myself to reality.”

This sent both of them into bouts of laughter.

“Alright, well, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you then?”

“You’ve got it! Bye!”

“Bye! And for the love of god try not to fall asleep this time, yeah?” He cracked himself up.

“I’ll try!” You replied as you hung up. You sighed, smiled, and then leaned against your headboard, though not for long. You had things to do - number one, get a shower.

Flash forward a few hours, and you were all set. You were wearing a pair of jeans and a blouse, similar to yesterday’s outfits, just with less smeared makeup and bedhead. You had even managed to listen to a few albums while you were doing your hair. You quickly ate a salad for supper, confirmed the meeting spot with Harry, then headed out the door.

You arrived 10 minutes early, and to your surprise, Harry was already there again. 

“How did you get here before me?” You laughed as you walked up to him. “I left even earlier than last time, specifically to race you!”

“Oh, I have my ways,” he grinned. “So, would you like to know what I have planned?” 

“Enlighten me,” you prompted as you began walking past the bushes and flowerbeds with him, admiring his bold, light purple flared pants and white top.

“Well, first we walk through the park. Then, I have a reservation booked for La Sedbe Hyudge. If that sounds okay to you, that is.”

La Sedbe Hyudge was one of the most exclusive clubs in New York. Reservations were crazy expensive, and that’s not including the price of the food and drinks.

“Oh, Harry, you really didn’t ha-”

“No, no, don’t worry about it. The reservation’s already made; there’s no turning back now,” he laughed.

You laughed along with him. “Well, we can just split the final bill.”

“No,”

“But-”

“Don’t worry about it!” 

You sighed. “Okay,” you finally agreed. “Well, anyways, tonight sounds like it will be great fun. Thank you.”

Harry nodded, looking around. You had to admit it, the scenery of the park was very nice. The gardener(s) here must be paid awfully well.

“So, I listened to Fine Line.”

Harry perked up. “Oh?”

“It was - and I’m not just saying this because I li- we’re friends - but it was incredible. I’ve never heard anything like it.”

Harry was trying to hide his smile, but he was failing miserably. “Well, that’s good,” he concluded nonchalantly. 

“No, really! I have Golden stuck in my head. It’s beautiful. And don’t even get me started on Lights Up.”

“You didn’t see the music video, did you?”

“..Yeah?”

“Oh, wow.”

“It was ARTSY!” You laughed, Harry clearly getting embarrassed. “No, in all honestly, it was great.”

“Well, I’m glad you think that,” he smiled. “I wish I could say the same to you, but you don’t sing, obviously.”

“Not my forte, honestly. I was in choir in elementary, but that’s pretty much it. Never really had any interest in the preforming arts. No offense.”

“None taken. I’ve always liked singing, but I didn’t think I’d pursue it as a career. I was very happy at my old job, thank you very much.”

“What was your old job?”

“...”

“...”

“I used to work in a bakery.”

“No way!” “That’s adorable,” you thought as the two of you rounded a corner of the path.

“Yes way! Not to brag, but I was very good at making cinnamon rolls.”

“Now, isn’t that something.”

“That’s not all - macaroons.”

“Oh my god, marry me.”

You continued goofing off for the rest of the walk. You talked about Netflix shows and whether Summer or Winter was the superior season in the taxi, and the best way to make Kraft dinner on the sidewalk. By the time you walked into the restaurant and sat down, you were discussing the importance of a good facemask.

“I don’t know. I just can’t believe you do them.”

“I can’t believe you don’t.”

“Why should I?”

“Do you want me to go over the health benefits again?”

You sighed. “No. I just do not have the patience.”

“For me to explain it again or facemasks in general?”

You smiled. “Both.”

Harry laughed rather loudly, gaining a few odd looks from some stuck-up diners. “You’re lucky you’re cute, y/n.”

Before you could respond, a waiter walked over to your table. “And what could I get for the couple this evening?” He asked.

You and Harry looked at eachother and tried to supress laughter.

“Well, I don’t know about my husband here,” you start, looking over at Harry with a grin. He’s staring back at you and you are positive that he’s gonna blow it at any second, but you decide to keep going, “But I’ll have a glass of red wine.”

“Whatever you want, dear, so I guess I’m driving,” Harry shrugged. “I will have water, please.”

The waiter nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

 As soon as he was out of earshot, the two of you burst out laughing.

“That.. was.... amazing!” Said Harry between laughs.

“I know right!” You agreed. “We have to keep it going all night.”

“YES,” he nodded as a group of teenage girls walked past the table, also laughing uncontrollably.

Then, the waiter returned. “For the lady,” he said as he placed down a glass of  wine. You immediately picked it up and took a sip. 

“For the main course, I’ll have the steak, please,” said Harry in his very-best fancy voice.

“I too,” you said, giggling and taking another sip.

The waiter nodded and headed back to the kitchen. The two of you laughed again. 

Just then, you felt your phone buzz in your purse. “It’s probably nothing,” you thought, choosing to ignore it. But then it went off again. And again. And again.

“You should probably get that,” said Harry, looking at your bag.

“Nah, it’s probably nothing.”

“Alright. I gotta run to he bathroom, and then I’m gonna order a drink for myself, okay?”

“Okay,” you said as you watched him get up. “Bring me back a glass too!”

You watched him walk over to the mens room. Your phone buzzed. He pushed open the door. Your phone buzzed. The door shut behind him. You reached down and pulled out your phone.

Ella: Oh my god

Ella: Y/n

Ella: Where are you right now

Ella: Are you with anybody?

Ella: ?????

Ella: Y/N

Ella: CHECK UR PHONE

You quickly typed up a response, although you were confused as to why she was so worried all of a sudden.

Y/n: I’m at the Sedbe Hyudge with Harry, why?

Ella: *Sent a set of photos*

Ella: Check twitter for more.

You clicked on the photos. The first was a screenshot of an update account, saying that you and Harry were in the park. Then, another tweet from the same account, saying you were at this restaurant. Then, photos of you in the park. And then, photos of you at the restaurant. Under that were screenshots of twitter users.

@Cocopopstyles: I just want Harry to take me on a date like he does with y/n, is that TOO MUCH TO ASK. They’re TOO CUTE.

@Y/nxxxxstyles: ANOTHER WIN FOR THE SHIPPERS THEY’RE AT THE SEDBE HYUDGE DHHHVDHBDCHUDB YES

@HSDaily: Ew lmfao she’s so ugly PLS 

@Stylessssmaple: “I ain’t saying she’s a golddigger, but she ain’t messing with no broke....”

@LaylaHoran: I heard that they were talking to the waiter like they’re an actual couple. A few girls overheard it, idk their @’s tho.

@LarryStylinsonobvs replying to @LaylaHoran: Really?? Omg that’s pretty quick tbh. Weren’t they first seen together days ago?

@LaylaHoran replying to @LarryStylisonobvs: Yeah apparently. Idk what’s going on. Is she a PR stunt or not???

@LarryStylinsonobvs replying to @LaylaHoran: Not to be a bluegreener but she could be a beard... we’ve gotten so much content from them in the past 72 hours like.... are u gonna tell me there’s no contract in there at all?????

@Y/nsflowers: Y/n looks so good in the new pap photos pLEASE MARRY ME MA’AM.

@Y/L/Nsummertime: Y/n is over lmfao can she please cut the bullshit. Wbk she’s in it for the money. The job, the PR stunts, the boyfriend...

@TheDailyPoolsideNews: Model y/n and ex-boyband star spotted out in the town! Will this be the next Hollywood snoozefest?

There was more, but Harry was already back at the table, carrying two glasses and setting them down, smiling. All of a sudden, you had this really sick feeling. You couldn’t look him in the eyes. You took your drink as he sat down. Not wanting to say anything in case it ruined the night, you took a sip and put your phone back in your purse.

“Everything alright?”

You looked up. “Yeah.”

Harry stared at you. You stared back jokingly, trying to break the tension. Harry’s phone started ringing. “Oops,” he frowned, “thought I turned this off...”

“You can take it, it’s okay. I checked my phone before. Plus, I need to use the washroom.”

“Okay,” he smiled as you stood up, smiling back. As you were walking away, you heard him talking to whoever was on the other end of the line. “Hey, Nial- what? No, I am, why-”

You pushed into the womens room and locked yourself in a stall. “What the hell is going on?”

You sit there for a few minutes, trying to collect your thoughts and give Harry some time to finish his conversation. Someone had seen the two of you at the park and in the restaurant, so what? Some people liked you, and some people didn’t. Okay, that’s understandable. Some people hated you. That’s fine, you don’t care. But people still think you and Harry are a PR stunt. This is only your second date! And it’s not eve a date! It’s just a... you put your head in your hands, then sit up, not wanting to smudge your mascara. You reach for your phone, only to remember you left it in your purse, which was currently on the floor next to your chair next to Harry. God.

And, to make matters worse, he had gotten a phonecall and from what you had heard when you were walking away, he sounded worried. Perfect! That was probably his management. Or, better yet, one of his friends doing the same thing Ella had done to you. Suddenly, you jumped up and walked back out to the table. He was fiddling around with his napkin. When he saw you, his face lit up. You didn’t buy it.

“Hi, sorry, it was just one of my friends. He wanted to t-”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you said, politely cutting him off.

Harry was taken back by this, but not for long. He wasn’t fazed easily. “Oh, okay. That’s good. Sorry for taking so long. Oh, and I don’t want this anymore, so if you want it, you can fill yours up. Otherwise, I’m just gonna give it to the waiter when he comes back.”

You never drank too much. You knew three glasses would be awful for you. But you took his and filled yours up, because “I don’t want to waste anything. This place is so expensive.”

Soon after, the waiter dropped off your meals. Harry was speaking less, more unsure of himself than before, but you didn’t notice. You made polite small talk, but it wasn’t like your antics from before. Yet when you were leaving, you did not split the bill. Harry still paid.

When you walked outside, it was dark. You hadn’t expected it. You laughed. Harry laughed. “Let’s wait over here for a taxi, yeah?”

You nodded and followed him. You sat on a bench. Harry messaged somebody. You swung your feet a little. Harry took a call. You stayed seated, watching people walk by. Harry came back over and helped you walk to the taxi, arm around your back. You tried to tell him you didn’t need his help, but he didn’t listen. 

Harry gave the taxi driver his address. You gave him yours, but he didn’t listen. You spoke up again, but Harry told you not to worry; you could spend the night with him. You nodded.

Harry helped you out of the taxi. You didn’t fight back. You tried to pay for the taxi, but he wouldn’t take your money. You held his hand as you walked through the doors of his apartment building, got in the elevator, got to his apartment. He sat you down on the couch and went off to his room. He came back shortly after.

“I don’t have any pyjamas for you.”

“Why would I need pyjamas?” You laughed a little, and then a lot.

Harry smiled. He went back to his room and came back with a shirt still wrapped in plastic and a bag.

“Here. The bathroom is over there. There’s makeup wipes on the counter.” He helped you up and you walked over. 

“Why do you have makeup wipes? Do you wear makeup?”

“Yep!” Said Harry. “Just turn the lock to the left. It’s tricky sometimes, try it a few times if it doesn’t work, yeah?”

“That’s so cool, can you show me your makeup sometime?”

“Yep! Maybe after you get your pyjamas on.”

“Really?”

“Mmhm!”

You shut the door and turned the lock, though you doubted you’d need it. You took off your fancy clothes and put on a pair of brand new too-big black sweatpants and a too-big pink t-shirt. Why did you need pyjamas again? Harry hadn’t answered. He wasn’t sending you home in pyjamas, was he? Uh oh.

You walked out. Harry was in the kitchen. “Do you need anything?”

“A drink.”

“Water?”

“Wine, dummy.” You cracked up at this.

“You’ve already had more than enough. C’mon, let’s go to the living room.” He grinned. 

“Whyyyyyy?”

Harry smiled patiently. “C’mon, y/n. We can watch a movie or something.”

“Okay. Wait - can I just have orange juice instead?”

“Of course.” He grabbed a can of juice and then walked into the living room. You followed. There were pillows and blankets on the couch, and Disney+ was set up.

“Ooou, fancy,” you laughed.

Harry crawled under the blankets. You did too. He laughed. So did you. Why were you even upset with him in the first place? You couldn’t remember. Harry grabbed the remote and turned on some show you’ve never heard of before. The Mandalorian, whatever that was. You leaned your head on Harry’s shoulder. It wasn’t even boring - why were you falling asleep? 

Harry closed his eyes - he was tired, too, but for different reasons. You listened to his breathing get slower. You held him tightly. You held him back. 

“Friends don’t hold friends that way,” you thought to yourself. “But who cares?”

You fell asleep. So did he.

You forgot about the stunt rumours. So did he.

He forgot about how his friend called him in a panic, not wanting this relationship to get ruined for him like the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that. About how he really, really liked you, but couldn’t act on it. He wanted to give you the world. Yes, he fell too quickly, too easily, but who could blame him?

And you forgot about Ella in the same panic. She didn’t want this to get ruined for you, of course, because this was your first shot, your first love (Although not that she’d know - you had to admit you had been a bit distant with her since you met Harry.) She didn’t want you to fall into the hands of the public eye. She wanted to make sure you were safe. She wasn’t sure if you should trust Harry, so of course she should be worried.

But you trusted him.

And he trusted you.

And everything is okay.

Until 3am.

A/N PT 2 - While you’re waiting for part 3 (which is definitely coming btw!) check out my other fics through this masterlist HERE!

[casually-shipped]

Jeff Wittek is DUMB! Means well, but DUMB!

     That interview. Where to begin? The turn this interview took, I didn’t even want to write this. I’m more torn for metoo which is further harmed by, and at the expense of this shit show. From Jeff’s handling of this, to Ethan and Trisha’s involvement in this conversation. Jeff was thrown from the very beginning. He fucked up. As genuine as he wanted to be, Ethan dominated him because Jeff was unprepared. I am shocked Jeff didn’t refresh his memory on the situation, that he would speak out when he didn’t know fully the information to even speak out about. From the moment Jeff released his own video on his YouTube, he was working without the complete information. Which unravels anything he hoped to achieve. 

     I was very disappointed to realize that Jeff is, and was more interested in protecting himself (excluding his employees) his business, than the concerns of any allegation. I’m glad he realized that too, and said as much. I get Jeff, I get his history, and I see how this situation is not easy for someone like him, his self esteem, his past, secrets, and new found success. He wants to protect himself so much, but at the same time protect his friends, those he loves, and the alleged victims, and he is tripping all over himself. For the morons on the internet, in the court of public opinion, this did him and this situation no real favors. 

     Ethan and Trisha are master manipulators, and very smart when it comes to this. Jeff was very much out matched especially with this team up. The worst part in all of this is Jeff resorted to past problematic behavior imo. He lied! You see, when you choose not to speak truth to power, or speak truth out of fear of saying the wrong thing, or to protect someone, you lose credibility immediately. As you should. I didn’t expect Jeff to take this turn, but I can see it because he was backed into a corner, and when this happens to him, this is the result. He panicked, and fucked up. From this point on in the interview when he says he doesn’t remember the photo Ethan showed him, the interview went further down hill.

      The photo was used by Ethan to trip Jeff up. It was a brilliant move, but someone with actual brain cells would know, that the picture wasn’t time stamped. That was an upload time, but Jeff didn’t realize this, nor understood that, so he doubted his own memory, which I wouldn’t be surprised is screwed up especially after his so called “near death car accident.” (EDit: Further analysis, I thought the photo was an upload from a social media site, it might actually be a time stamp.)  “Which means his memory of events are very questionable, but his entire statements are in doubt regardless!”

     Not only did he doubt his memory, but the situation doesn’t truly matter to him because he believes his truth, that he didn’t bother to do the work. It showed. It showed Jeff doesn’t actually believe the victim, and even if he is telling the truth, even if the victim is lying, this isn’t how you handle this situation. Believe victims, for the sake of the movement until proven otherwise. He tried to walk this line, but ultimately failed. He failed to tell the right truth because he doesn’t truly understand this. He shouldn’t have spoken at all to this degree outside of a court of law in the first place, for his sake, his friends, the metoo movement, and the alleged victim.

      Once he doubted his own memory because of the photo and Ethan’s clever rues, he crumbled. From this moment it was very hard to watch. There came a point where it seemed Jeff was trying so hard to distance himself, it really sounded like, and I believe this is what he was doing, throwing everyone who isn’t him under the bus. Intentionally or not, that was publicly damning.  He acted as if there was a cover up that he wasn’t aware of, and tried to protect himself which came across as confirmation of the allegations. Which again began to destroy public confidence and his credibility. As well as his character. He quickly became an unreliable source. If Jeff wants to remember where he was, if he had his location turned on his phone, he can look up his location from that time maybe? lol Just a thought! Well, the authorities will anyways. 

     Ethan’s way of asking questions was to project a truth that he believes or wants people to believe and plays off that. He makes people think that his opinion or point of view is fact, as well as making shocked faces, using certain tones and inflections, being accusatory, twisting words, ignore and not following up statements, moving past answers in favor of his own answers, talking over Jeff and retailing Jeff’s point of view and the point of view of the allegations, with his own narrative. At points Trisha did the same, which Ethan allowed and played off of. This interview was a hit job, not getting any other side or truly getting to the bottom of something. Ethan disgusts me! This interview DISGUSTED ME! If you can call this an interview outside of an opportunity for exploitation, and monetization. After the interview even began to make jokes was disgusting do to the serious nature of all of this.

      I’m glad I powered through the interview because it was so cringe, too cringe, but I got through it. What a waste of time. I walked away knowing more than I thought I would, but I put myself through mental anguish just to end up with more questions. I have an idea what Jeff is hiding about his eye. I have many theories about Jeff, and David. These theories is pretty eye opening for me when it comes to this situation. I do still give credit to Jeff and surprisingly even Trisha for this situation to a degree. Trisha will however always be trash for me. But she isn’t wrong about how David in some ways treated her, even if it was mental health driving her physical, emotional, and mental abuse towards others and Jason. There’s just no excuse for her. No excuse for David either. David is and was a very insensitive self involved individual. To the point where his pranks deffinetely crossed a massive line. Brandon even thought he was a psychopath, he truly believed it. David had to beg for forgiveness and say even sorry to his parents for what he put Brandon through. An emotionally traumatizing moment. Shit like that David needs to own, and hasn’t.

     If what happened with the victim happened, then she as well as everyone involved has to speak out. Even if it didn’t! That’s just doing the right thing for the movement. Let’s say the victim messed up her story or is lying? You still treat this with the respect it is owed until it becomes a criminal case, or defend yourself in court for defamation and we hear otherwise. If you have privilege then you will gain back anything you lost when the truth is finally known, if you are innocent. Some thing you don’t allow to play out in the court of public opinion, literally fuck the public, it’s the only way to protect victims and the movement from being destroyed by outrage cancel culture, the way it has been. David and others who were there, not speaking is a mistake. However, I disagree with how far you have this conversation. Jeff in my opinion has gone a little too far. Some truths you keep to yourself, even if it makes you look bad, until court. It comes out then not before to respect the victims involved publicly as well as the movement.   

     What are my final thoughts? Personally, I don’t really know what to believe. I in all honesty am not sure I truly believe the victim, but, I choose to because of the movement, and that I wasn’t there. So I don’t know shit! But if you want just my honest opinion, I believe Jeff wasn’t involved in that way, I also don’t believe David would go as far as being insinuated, he’s dumb and careless, but not that. But even then, who really knows? Anything is possible. I just don’t think that part of the story is correct, but that’s just me. I have always at that time when I saw this vlog, thought it was faked. I remember David peaking and nothing was happening. They were all dressed, but that could have been shot at a different times, again no one knows. This is edited footage here.

      David in the past has been involved in edgy sexual content when it comes to consent. Heath (and I can’t remember who else it was, maybe Zane,) were in a hot tub clearly drunk, and David used that moment when they kissed for a fun video moment and that was a moment David took advantage of for content. They may have consented for that video to be uploaded after the fact, but it seems David has always had a problem with consent, AFTER THE FACT! I do believe David has grown and changed a lot, but he still imo hasn’t come far enough. There are things he still needs to take accountability for, and he never has. His video, very much wasn’t that. The whole situation is just awful. I can however mimic some of Ethan’s words at the end to Jeff. I hate Ethan, but damn if he wasn’t right. Credit where credit is do. But fuck Ethan! David HAS to treat this issue with more respect that it is owed!