#also that’s SUCH a dad answer. like I can literally hear my own dad saying something like that

[angelsdean]

it’s so funny (not) how literally nothing that man does is enough for some people. Like “oh he only talked abt his kids as his reason for voting for Harris” like he literally said he agrees with everything mark already said and that he had a multitude of reasons for voting Harris but chose to highlight his children as his reason. They were pressed for time and jensen is also not a big talker. Also, honestly, idgaf what his reason is, all that matters is that he IS voting and is publicly aligning himself with Harris.

[themultifanshipper]

Charles was shocked into silence. How could he not have noticed? He had known you for years and yet, he had never been so turned on in his life, just from hearing you speak.

Warnings: gn!reader, french!reader, cum play? GRATUITOUS amounts of french! Like half the dialogue is in french (with translation). This is entirely self-indulgent! Charles is really stupid in this I’m sorry but it’s for the plot, also he started out dominant then I decided halfway through he should be submissive, then switched back again. Barely proofread, it is 4:30am as I am writing this, sue me. There is disgusting stuff involving cum, and I’m kinda considering this crack because I can’t take french seriously.

Bon appétit, this is a wild ride my friends.

You had been working in formula 1 for most of your adult life, going from media teams to personal assistant, to lots of other jobs that finally led you to your dream job: race engineer.

Well, your dream job was really being a team boss, but baby steps, yeah?

Anyway, you had been promoted to race engineer to the one and only Charles Leclerc following the whole Xavi thing. But before that he’d known you as his assistant for a bit when his own assistant was on maternity leave, and before that you had been the media trainer for a few teams, including Sauber when he was there. He’d literally known you since his debut, and the two of you had grown very close over the years, and saw each other every week. So the fact that he could have missed something like this was embarrassing.

You were at the end of a race, going on about the tyres overheating to Charles over the radio when the car in front of him locked up and slid, forcing him to swerve and hit the wall with a sickening crunch.

You gasped as you saw the car make contact. “Oh Putain, ça va Charles ?” (Oh fuck, you ok Charles?) You spoke into your headset but there was no answer, and Charles didn’t seem to be moving so you tried again “Charles, tu m’entends? Est-ce que ça va?!” (Charles can you hear me? Are you ok?)

He finally replied in a shaky voice, and you were finally able to breathe and call the staff that would go get Charles and his car off the track.

Unbeknownst to you, Charles was having a mental crisis. You spoke French?

Since fucking when?

His ears were ringing as he tried to think back your years friendship for any signs. He came up empty. He was positive he’d never heard you speak French before. And he was positive he should not be hard, climbing out of his car after a crash.

When he got back to the garage, you were waiting for him, ready to ask him how he was but before you could say anything he grabbed your arm and dragged you into the nearest room slash maintenance cupboard he could find.

“What the hell are you doing Charles?”

He locked the door and when he turned back around his eyes were dark and stormy “Since when do you speak french?” he asked.

You just blinked at him.

“What?”

He backed you up against the wall, hands either side of your waist.

“Since when” he spoke patronizingly slowly “Do. You. Speak. French.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion.

“Charles, I am French. I have a French name. I was born and raised in France! What the fuck do you mean ‘since when do I speak french’???!”

His eyes widened as he realized how oblivious he’d been.

“My dad is friends with Pierre’s parents! I started my career at Renault! I brought you wine from my family’s vineyard! Charles how-  how could you not have known?” You laughed at him as he just stood there flabbergasted at his own stupidity.

“Sérieusement? Comment?” (seriously, how?)

His brain seemed to reboot and he put his arms around you “Je suis désolé, je suis vraiment débile” (I’m sorry, I’m so stupid) he giggled into your hair.

The proximity was odd but not unwelcome, as you put your arms around him and laughed with him, inhaling his pleasant scent.

“Tu as mis du parfum? Tu sens bon. ” (Have you got cologne on? You smell good)

He groaned. “Keep talking, please” and he squeezed you tighter against him.

You laughed. “Tu sais bien que je parle toujours en français avec Pierre et Este ?” (You know I always speak french with Pierre and Este, right?)

He whimpered into your neck and that’s when you felt it.

You froze in his arms “Charles are you getting hard?”

He put his forehead against yours and looked into your eyes, both of you going cross-eyed. “I’m sorry you just sound so sexy in french” he sniffled.

This was definitely something you could get behind.

“Ouais? Tu veux que je te parle en français pendant les courses alors? (Yeah, you want me to speak to you in french during the races?)

He chewed on his lip and nodded as your hand made its way to the front of his suit to cup him over the fabric.

“T’es sûr? On voudrait pas que tu salisse la voiture, tu devras expliquer aux ingénieurs pourquoi le siège est trempé” (you sure ? We wouldn’t want you to make a mess, you’d have to explain to the engineers why the seat is wet)

He whined and his knees almost buckled, so you turned him around against the wall and unzipped his suit, dragging it down to pool around his ankles, then making quick work of the second layer, leaving him in his very damp underwear. You pulled that down as well as you got a hand around his cock and started a slow pace, teasing the tip with your thumb every now and then. He bucked his hips and whined at the dry friction.

“What’s the matter? Un peu sec?” (a bit dry?) You said teasingly.

“Laisse moi t’aider avec ça” (let me help you with that)

You got down on your knees and his eyelids fluttered as you got your lips around his tip. When you took half of him in your mouth and reached a hand up to cup his balls at the same time, he moaned and thumped his head back onto the wall.

You pulled off “Garde les yeux sur moi, Charles” (keep your eyes on me, Charles)

He did so , with much difficulty, but his eyes snapped to yours and you continued, taking him all the way to the base and massaging his balls gently. His hips bucked up a bit making you gag slightly.

“désolé, je vais pas durer longtemps” (sorry, I’m not gonna last long)

So you picked up the pace and doubled down on your efforts, as his hands flew to your hair.

It took about a minute and a half for him to come, groaning your name while he filled your mouth. He felt like his soul had been sucked out through his dick. You didn’t swallow it all though, wanting to share the load, as it were.

You got up and pulled him in for a kiss, which he gladly accepted, and it was the most disgusting, satisfying kiss you’d ever had, all teeth and spit and cum, some of it dribbling down your necks and chests.

You stayed like that for a while, basking in each other’s embrace (and each other’s mouths) before you suddenly remembered where you were.

“Charles! Don’t you have a press conference to go to?!”

“Je m’en fous, je reste là” (I don’t care, I’m staying here)

He lifted you up and carried you to the other side of the room where there was a conveniently empty shelf, where he set you down before tugging your pants down and spreading your legs to slot himself between them. He was already half hard again as he pumped himself with one hand and used the other to swipe up the cum on his and your chests, then brought his fingers to your entrance, rubbing gently before sliding a finger inside you. It didn’t take much for him to prep you and he used the excess leftover cum to lube himself up and slide into you. You keened as he pressed up into your most sensitive spots. But he just stayed there, grinding slowly into you, driving you mad.

“Please, Charles!” You begged, pronouncing his name the English way.

He cocked his head and grinned at you, and you sighed in desperation.

“S’il te plait… Charles”

His jaw went slack as he used all the energy he had left to pound into you, right in that special spot that made you see stars, over and over until you were a whining mess underneath him.

You came with a shout, back arching off the shelf and he held on to you as he followed soon after.

Charles Leclerc got a heavy fine for not showing up at the post-race conference, or the debrief, or any of his mandatory duties. Fortunately, he had enough money to pay the fine, and take you to dinner that very same night.

[noyzinerd]

More Than Just A Body (Swap)

Thinking about a post-body swap Sterek fic.

One that fully takes place after a body swap has already been reversed (like, a sequel to a non-existent fic--where they swapped bodies, had to live as the other, got switched back, yet didn't get together by the end--that's constantly alluded to, but we never actually get to read), so we only see the aftermath.

Derek is super irritated and snippy for days after they get back into their own bodies. Stiles thinks it's because Derek feels pissed and humiliated he had to relive to highschool with insufferable teenagers, be helplessly human and weak, and generally listen to authority again (his dad). It definitely bums Stiles out to think that Derek found living his life so deplorable that he's still angry about it. So now both of them are upset and sort of avoiding each other.

It isn't until two weeks later, when their stand-off is starting to effect pack business, that Stiles gets fed up and confronts Derek.

"What's your deal, man? You've been super shitty ever since we swapped back. It's been two weeks. How can you still be mad about living as me? What, was doing the dishes and being forced to write 5,000 words about the Louisiana Purchase seriously that terrible? Look, I'm sorry you had to deal with my stupid, tissue-paper body for so long, but you can't just-!"

And before you know it, Derek has him shoved up against a wall. He's still pissed, yeah, but, for some reason, he also looks...hurt and broken inside.

"Your body isn't stupid, Stiles! It was the best thing to happen to me in years!"

Stiles is stunned speechless. Derek's fingers are trembling around the grip he has in Stiles' shirt. There's so much pain in those green-blue eyes that it actually aches to look in them. It looks almost like grief.

Like Derek is in mourning.

Derek's not crying, but his eyes are definitely shinier as he continues, "You have no idea what you have, Stiles. What I had. For the first time since the worst fucking day of my life, I got to do normal things, like chores and sports. Not a single person expected anything of me o-or looked to me for answers. I didn't have to worry about fucking up and getting people killed, because the smartest guy I knew was taking care of my body like it was something precious. And all I had to do in return was live your beautiful, quiet life. A life where someone gently woke me up for school and nobody found me too intimidating to get close to.

"I got to know what it was like to be loved by a father again, Stiles! To say the words 'I love you, too, Dad' when I didn't think I'd ever get another chance. I-I got to be hugged and have people smile at me like they were glad to see me and I'd get to look in the mirror in the morning to the sweetest smile at the start of my day and hear your voice every time I talked. It was perfect." Somehow, Stiles has found his face streaked with tears even though the tears valiantly sticking to Derek's lashes still haven't fallen as his voice breaks over his words.

"A-and now? All I get to wake up to is me." The word is spit out with acid and venom. "I get to wake up alone in a cold, silent, empty, concrete room and look at a face in the mirror that makes me sick. I get to go back to my pathetic fucking life where I have to choose between literally fighting against an endless wave of people out to kill me or using my family's blood money to buy myself a microwavable dinner for the night. The only difference is that now...now I'm haunted by the feel of your fingers through my hair, your arms wrapped around me," at this, Stiles can feel his heart cracking apart at the thought of Derek using his body to simply hug himself, "y-your voice telling me that I'm going to be okay, and just-just the sight of your skin and your eyes and-and-I just, I can't, Stiles, I-I can't-!"

Stiles is clutching Derek so tight to him in an instant, tucking him into his neck and slowly lowering them to the ground as Derek collapses and sobs into him.

---

Once the tears are all dry, Stiles finally picks up the courage to be vulnerable too. He owes it to Derek.

At least it'll be easier now that he can't see the werewolf's reactions.

So, as he's stroking the other's hair, Stiles tells him about how he wishes Derek could see the man he fell in love with the way Stiles can.

He tells him about how he fell in love with a man whose heart is so big and full of kindness that he physically cannot stop himself from helping people, no matter how much he likes to pretend that he doesn't care.

The man he loves is powerful, resilient, and stronger than any one person has any right to be, yet so fragile as to be afraid of loving someone too much because he might be shattered.

The man Stiles loves is smart, sassy, thoughtful, stubborn, awkward, grumpy, sweet, and so so deserving of hugs and smiles and kisses and praise, because Derek is and has always been more than just a body.

Stiles tells him about how, during their swap, he made sure to take warm baths with nice smells, nap in cozy blankets, and massage his hands and feet with lotions because Stiles wanted to take care of Derek's body as much as he could while he got the chance. He did it because he wanted to help Derek and this was the only way he thought he could.

If there had been even the slightest indication that anything more would've been well received, Stiles would have already done it. All he wants is permission.

"Please...let me take care of you?"

---

So, slowly, day by day, Stiles enfolds Derek into a gentle life.

Stiles is Derek's strongest advocate, his extra set of hands to help carry his burdens, his pillow, his introduction to new things and new people.

They're always wrapped around each other, all the time, almost like Stiles is scared of Derek getting cold.

Despite the confession, things remain G-rated for a while. Cuddles, hand-holding, caresses, just touching. Shy kisses eventually make an appearance after some time, but they remain sweet, loving little things.

Stiles makes it perfectly clear that he's fine waiting to make a move until he's sure being intimate can't possibly be mistaken as anything else. He needs Derek to understand that this isn't obligation or pity. Stiles loves Derek. And Stiles is going to take his time because he wants Derek to feel loved beyond his body, no matter how long it takes.

By the time Derek feels whole again, now living with the Stilinskis and smiling softly as a default expression, they find themselves in front of the bathroom mirror having their first time together.

It's definitely not kinky. Mostly reverent, full of "It's okay, I'm right here", fingers laced tight together, flashing eyes, and a bit of emotional tears. It's gentle and assuring, with promises of never being alone again, and whispers of "so beautiful" and "so sweet" and "so perfect". Climax is rewarded with praises, hands stroking up arms and down backs, and "I love you"s are slurred through dropped fangs and traded back and forth between kisses

But as expected, finally having sex doesn't magically make Derek love himself. It's still a long road. Because even if Derek doesn't completely hate his life anymore, there are those hard days where he still has problems with 'being Derek'.

And maybe one day Derek will learn to love the body he lives in.

Until then, Stiles will just have to love it for him.

[xjulixred45x]

If Child reader of Platonic Yandere Kenjaku meets Gojo...

Before anything, this is NOT a continuation of THIS one, that is more a scenerio of "What if", this is what i call the Route to the "True Ending" for Say something. NOW lest continue.

Also, this idea was kind of given by @kiracrzy-blog (thanks for that one Sweetie! Hope You enjoy!)

Satoru probably knew about (Child reader) even before the whole disaster, he would know that Geto had a child, but he didn't have much else, Suguru was very careful with them and their mother to prevent them from going after them (Even more if the child have inherited his cursed technique), but Satoru was definitely very curious about the child.

That's why he wouldn't know how he would interact with them if he ever met them, I mean, he LITERALLY killed their father and couldn't stop them from killing their mother, why would they want to see HIM of all people? He also had time to think about it in the containing prison.

A part of him wanted to meet them, see what they were like, were they more like Suguru or more like their mother? Were they extroverted or introverted? What was Suguru like as a father? And their mother? Did they suffer a lot when they died? Did they know that THAT THING was controlling their father's body?

Many of those answers were resolved as soon as he was released.

NOW, Gojo is much calmer and more mature than one would expect in the situation, he can see that (Child reader) has already been through a lot and he doesn't want them to be more afraid of him than they probably already are. He wants them to also get answers to their questions, so he sets up some small outings, nothing too complicated, just going to eat something somewhere safe and Satoru lets them ask them questions in exchange for the same.

Satoru was happy to hear that Suguru was a good father, that (child reader)'s mother was a good mother, that they lived a happy life...until Suguru died and Kenjaku arrived in his place.

Satoru is surprised that they (Child reader) don't resent him, but then he says something he wouldn't have expected at this point.

-"You may have killed my dad...but you were my father's only best friend...we can let things be...get over it...you mean a LOT to My father even...after all..."-

...that was so...wow, (Child reader) has power, they made the strongest sorcerer of today almost cry. He didn't think he needed to hear that SO MUCH...

although of course, not everything is so positive, Satoru has to retain all the anger he feels when hearing how Kenjaku came to treat (Child reader) using the body of their OWN FATHER and he may even have to console them, because well, it's HORRIBLE that distort the image of a person you love like this.

Satoru promises, SWEARS to (child reader) that after winning against Sukuna, he will go directly against Kenjaku and when he kills him, both will give him a dignified burial with the twins, and if the changes are in their favor, the WHOLE family of Geto. and (Child reader) feel light for the first time in God knows how long, they being with Gojo Kenjaku won't be after them. They are safe, they are not alone.

I think that in general, during the entire month of preparation that Gojo does before the battle against Sukuna, he takes advantage of every gap in his schedule to spend time with (child reader) and be a kind of "fun uncle" for them (he may even try to start a conversation with the twins, but it doesn't always work). He shares sweet things with them, tells them stories from when he and their father were young, he may even teach them a couple of useful techniques for hiding and so on.

Gojo carrying (child reader) on his shoulders while they go somewhere fun or while Gojo uses his infinity to float 🥺it would be so healthy..

Meanwhile Kenjaku is pulling his hair and biting his nails because GODDAMED! He can't get (child reader) back if they are not alone!if he get even a little close to Satoru he will kill him! And now (child reader) and Gojo are TOGHETER ALMOST EVERY DAY!! and at the same time he is soooo jealous that (child reader) is having such a good time with Gojo. He's their DAMN FATHER (in his crazy head at least)! And (child reader) acts more as if his enemy is more worthy of their affection than HIM):< (HE IS, but he will never admit it).

The good thing is that neither Sukuna nor Uraume are interested in helping Kenjaku in this, they already dislike him, but now that he spends his time complaining about a human child and since he wants them back, it is strangely tolerable, they are not going to ruin all returning them to Kenjaku. Part of them are just happy that Kenjaku is suffering for the first time in thousands of years.

Returning to the topic, I also imagine that (Child reader) shares everything that Satoru gives them with Choso and the twins, shows them their new clothes, saves candy for them, tells them excitedly about their day with Gojo, etc. .

Choso is so happy to see (Child reader) FINALLY be a child their age, get excited about these kinds of things and I think he would thank Satoru directly for everything he does for them even if he knows what happened in the past ( by not fully understanding humans and partly also because of all the positive feelings that have happened to Child reader)

Mimiko and Nanako are happy for (child reader), very happy, of course, they can't completely forgive Satoru, but damn, this could be the first step to HEALING (child reader), of returning to normal once everything is over , to be a family together again... who knows... maybe Gojo can be part of it... being so important to Geto...

Gojo is fine with just being a friend to (Child reader) in the future or being part of their family, as long as he is PART OF THAT FUTURE, and that future is HAPPY AND SAFE, he is fine with that, even if they don't want to see him more.

a better world is the least they owe to being Geto's child... a world where they should not have gone through all the pain and trauma they had, where he didn't have to kill their father... he wants that ( child reader) TO BE A CHILD.

So when he loses the battle against Sukuna and sees Geto on the other side, he doesn't know what to say, how to ask for forgiveness from him.

He couldn't do it, he couldn't beat him, he couldn't keep his oath, he couldn't bury Suguru with (Child reader), he couldn't see what will happen to them...HE FAILED THEM. NOT ONLY THEM, BUT ALSO SUGURU.

He left his child at the mercy of the world (with that PSYCHO still alive!!). hell, a child that Geto himself should have been able to raise if he had had different circumstances, if Geto had been there, supporting him, along with his child, both happy, safe, alive...

well, (child reader) is.

Suguru would try to console him, it's not his fault he died after all, he gave everything he had, Sukuna plays dirty......Suguru (and his wife) are grateful that at least Satoru spent the time he did with their child, trying to make a better world for them. They are grateful to him.

and (Child reader) will not be alone. Satoru KNOWS that, he can be at Peace, al least a little knowing that.

______

(Child reader) only sees on the screens (while Choso and Nanako try to cover their eyes) the result of the battle, Sukuna has won, Satoru lost.

Kenjaku is still alive.

but nothing stay still too long. then everyone is going to fight, those from Culling Game, the students, special grades, Yuji...

Choso puts a hand on (Child reader's) head, Mimiko and Nanako prepare to fight, they know what it means, they don't know how they feel about it(they already had a LOT of emotions to deal with), but they know what they have in mind.

Kenjaku is going to die. whether he like it or not.

[xdaddysprincessxx]

Mine, All Mine

Uncle Ezra x virgin f reader

Warnings: Noncon! Unclecest (they are not blood related!) virginity loss, p in v, heavy use of the word kiddo (idk it was doing it for me), filming, uhhh yea I don’t want to say too much so it doesn’t get spoiled. I’d say this is more on the dark side of things so be cautious, you are in charge of your own self and what you read. If it bothers you, stop reading it(:

A/n: this one’s for my love, @bonezone44 ! This literally came from a post they made lol also go check out their Uncle Ezra! It’s the best! (Also if you do/have read hers, maybe you’ll notice a lil Easter egg in mine lol) Enjoy babes! Also Happy Valentine’s Day!😘😘😘

Word count: 4222

Not edited or beta’d (Rad had looked over like half the story so I guess kinda beta’d lol)

It’s the middle of summer and it’s already hotter than Satan’s balls outside. You’re off work today and doing your best to enjoy the day but you’ve found yourself melted to the couch with a fan blasting on high, wearing your shortest shorts and a tank top. Your dad left hours ago for work, he probably won’t be back until much later tonight giving you the whole house to yourself.

You’ve gotten lost in a marathon of Law and Order SVU when you hear a knock on the door. Scrunching your face, confused as to who could be at the door, you get up to go answer it.

Opening the door reveals your Uncle Ezra standing outside, wearing basketball shorts and an old tshirt with the sleeves cut off so his sides are showing, exposing hot, tanned skin.

“Hey kiddo your dad home? I hada to come by to grab a few things.”

You gulp nervously, he isn’t your actual uncle but he’s been your dads best friend since they were kids so he’s considered like an uncle to you. Except ever since you hit eighteen he’s been more touchy, saying extremely sexual things in your ear whenever he’s around. You know it’s wrong, you hate that he does it but a part of you can’t help but like it. You like the dirty things he says, like the way his hand brushes against your ass when he walks by. When you went off to college and moved out you never expected you’d have to move back in with your dad after graduating. Unfortunately life comes at you hard. And ever since you came back home, Ezra has been even more of a menace.

“N-no sorry he’s at work. Um you can come back later.” You say with a stutter as you try to shut the door.

Ezra’s hand shoots out stopping the door from shutting,

“That’s okay kiddo I can wait. Let your old uncle Ezra in sweetie.” He says back with a sly grin on his face, his eyes darkening with mischief.

“O-okay come in.”

“Come in what?”

“Come in uncle Ezra.” You reply with a dry throat.

“Ah there it is. Ya know I like it when you call me uncle Ezra sweetie. It’s good manners and all.”

He walks in through the door, closing it behind him as you turn to walk back to the couch and sit down with your legs under you, leaned against the side cushion. You shiver, now painfully aware of how little clothing you have on now that he’s here. Ezra plops down right next to you, his legs spread as he puts his arm behind you on the back of the couch. You try to swallow, blinking a few times in quick succession.

“Whatcha watching kiddo?”

“Um just law and order. It’s a marathon.” You respond.

Ezra lifts the arm that was behind you and brings it forward, slapping your thigh lightly before rubbing the spot he hit,

“You okay sweetie? Seem kinda off? Is it a boy? Huh? It’s okay talk to uncle Ez. This boy treating you right? Making you feel good?”

Your mouth starts to open and then close as you try to find your voice, “N-no boy uncle Ezra. I-I’m fine. I promise.”

Ezra smiles at you as his hand starts to go up higher on your thigh before stopping and rubbing his thumb back and forth at the top of your thigh.

“Ya know since your daddy ain’t home I’ve been wanting to have this chat with you. Now I know you’re all grown up on me but you should know about men and their needs. But also your own needs sweetie,” he leans in closer so his lips are close to your ear, “Pretty girls like you have pretty pussies and those pretty pussies get wet and needy. Gotta make sure she is properly cared for kiddo. Cant have ya out here dripping and desperate for just any cock. You needa real man.” His low voice sending shivers down your spine. Ezra rubs his nose up and down your neck, right behind your ear.

“S-stop please.”

Ezra pulls back, “Stop? Sweetie I’m just trying to help ya here. I only want the best for ya.” A look of confusion and hurt covers his face.

“I- I want you to stop Uncle Ezra. I know what your doing and I don’t like it. Please stop.”

Ezra sighs real loud, “Okay kiddo. Whatever you say. I’m just trying to look out for ya. I’ll back off.” He takes his hand off your thigh and puts both hands up as he sinks back into the couch, still sitting right next to you. His hands laying down on his open lap.

You swallow thickly before you find the courage to get up,

“I think I’m gonna go read in my room. Feel free to change the channel while you wait.” You announce before heading to the stairs to up to your room.

Once you close your bedroom door behind you, you let out a deep sigh. Taking another breath as though you’ve been holding your breath this entire time. You hate that he feels so comfortable acting so bold. You wished he’d just leave.

It’s been a couple of hours and you’ve been absolutely lost in your own world, reading a new book you’d just gotten. Laying on your bed with your leg propped up against your bent knee as you lay on your back, the perfect reading position. You’re almost to the end when you hear a soft knock on your door as it’s pushed open.

“Hey kiddo just wanted to come check on ya. Wanted ya to have some alone time you seemed a little off earlier.” Ezra says as he walks in and sits on your bed. You sit up straight with your legs criss cross applesauce already feeling a pit in your stomach.

“I- I’m fine uncle Ezra. You didn’t have to check on me.”

“Now I know I didn’t have too but I was worried. You’re like my little girl, you know how much I love ya.” He gives you a soft smile, you can tell he’s trying to put you at ease but all he’s done is make you even more uncomfortable.

Ezra’s eyes flicker over to your nightstand where he sees a sliver of bright pink,

“Well well well what do we have here?” His eyes narrowing in on the object as he reaches forward and pulls out your dildo.

Your cheeks flush, embarrassment washes over you as you grab his wrist that’s connected to the hand now holding your toy,

“Leave that alone! That’s mine!”

“Aht don’t tell me what to do little girl. Now do you mind explaining to me what the hell you’re doing with a plastic cock? I thought my little sweet pea was a virgin. Don’t look like a virgin with this.” He says as he shakes your girthy 7 inch bright pink dildo in your face.

“I am a virgin! And it’s none of your business! Gimmie!” Now you’re fed up, you lunge forward, grabbing at the toy once again only for Ezra to yank it away as his free hand grabs your face, pinching your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger.

“Cut the bullshit little girl, ain’t no way this cunt ain’t been touched if your shoving this fucking thing inside ya,” his eyes leave yours and look down at the toy and back at you, a sly smirk blooming on his face.

“Nah see what’s gonna happen now is I’m gonna see for myself how much of a dirty fucking whore you’ve become.”

He releases your face and immediately you drop your face into your chest, scared to look up at him, wanting nothing more than to curl into yourself and vanish.

“Please don’t. Just leave me alone. Please.” You beg him quietly, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

Ezra puts his hand on the back of your neck and squeezes, making you look up at him,

“Nuh uh. You wanna be a slut? Then you’re gonna take a real man’s fucking cock like the good girl you are and like it.” He says with a sneer.

Your eyes are big, filled with tears threatening to spill over. You’ve never been with anyone sexually before. You’ve never even used that dildo, you only have it because your friend gave it to you as a gag gift and now you fear your uncle Ezra is gonna be your first and you don’t get a say in it.

“Please uncle Ezra, I - I don’t want it. I - I’ve never had sex I swear.” Your lip quivering as you continue to beg him not to follow through on his word.

“Oh kiddo don’t be scared. It’s me, your uncle Ez,” he says condescendingly as he leans forward, so close your noses touch, “I’m gonna fuck this sweet virgin pussy. I’ll make it good for you baby. Make sure she creams all over my cock so much you’ll beg for more.”

Tears start falling down your face, a deep fear spreading through your body like a cancer. A fear your pussy seems immune too as you feel yourself clench around nothing in excitement.

“Now lay on back like a good girl baby. Go on.” Ezra urges you as he lets go of your neck and pushes your shoulder back gently. As scared as you are, you also know how much you do secretly enjoy the attention and the touches you get from him. You bite your lip nervously as your back hits the pillows behind you.

Ezra grabs your calf and uncrosses your legs as he bends forward. His face in between your legs, his nose brushes against your clothed slit as he takes in a deep breath.

“You smell so sweet kiddo.” He says looking up at you before glancing back down, “looks like someone’s excited to meet me.” He said with a smirk as he brings his hand up, taking his thumb and swiping up from the bottom of your slit up, landing on your little bundle of nerves. He slowly rubs a few circles on your clit, your body lights up from the electric feeling of someone touching you there. You quickly bite your bottom lip and squeeze your eyes closed, trying your hardest to hold back any sign that you like how it feels.

Not paying any attention to you, Ezra pulls your shorts to the side revealing your wet pussy. His brows scrunch as he purses his lips together and lets out a little “oooh”

“She’s even prettier than I imagined honey,” he says before laying a soft kiss on your slit, “seems real happy to meet me too.” He says with a little chuckle. Ezra dives right in, his tongue parting your lips as he licks up and down. Up and down. Swirling his tongue around your entrance before going up to swirl around your clit before he suctions his lips around the little bundle and gives it a few gentle sucks.

The feeling of his mouth on you has you teetering on edge already. You’ve never experienced someone licking you down there before. And it feels so good. A breath moan escapes through your lips before you realize it. Ezra looks up at you when he hears it only to see you with your eyes closed shut and sees you quickly clamp your mouth shut.

“Nu uh kiddo. Open your fucking eyes and watch me,” he says before reaching up and slapping you lightly on the face to get your attention, “fucking rude of ya to do that. Guess I gotta train ya to take cock and to be a good little whore huh?”

You open you eyes, looking down at him. You shake your head no, scared to open your mouth knowing you wouldn’t be able to speak normally.

Ezra looks back down at your pussy as he lowers his hand down. He takes his finger and gently prods your pussy. He pushes a little bit into you before pulling back out, only to push his finger in more and twist.

A whimper escapes your lips this time. His thick finger moving inside of you feels so good you just can’t help it.

“That’s it honey, feels good don’t it? Yea it does,” he slips his finger in all the way continuously moving in and out, twisting as he does so, “She’s opening up for me baby. I think she likes me.” He leans forward again and licks your clit. Looking up at you as he keeps licking and fingering, the sensation’s overwhelming your entire being. He starts sucking your bundle of nerves again, Your head tips back as you give up trying to fight how you feel. Letting out a moan as your hand comes up and grabs your breast and squeezes.

“That’s it baby take em out, play with your nipples for me, gonna feel even better,” he orders before diving back in to lick and suck on your bean.

Doing as he says, you pull your tank top up, revealing your breast as you take one in each hand. Letting yourself feel them, giving them squeezes before you take a nipple in between your fore finger and thumb, pinching the sensitive nub and rolling it between your fingers.

He’s right, you find yourself in ecstasy as you continue to play with yourself as he eats you out.

Ezra’s mouth leaves your heat as he sits up and grabs the dildo. Laying back down in between your legs, he takes the dildo and starts running it up and down gathering your slick on the pink phallus.

“I think she’s ready for more baby what d’ya think?”

Your hands stop what they’re doing as you look down at him with eyes wide with terror. Taking a large gulp you give him a tiny head shake, ‘no’ you mouth.

“Don’t worry baby she’s gonna like this. I’ll kiss it better after.”

He holds the base of the dildo and slowly pushes the top inside your dripping entrance. He manages to get just the tip in and stops pushing in. He slowly twists it side to side as he looks up at you to gauge any pain you might have. You tensed up at the intrusion, your mouth clamped shut with tears forming in your eyes. Ezra leans forward and kisses your sensitive clit, making your hips buck up, chasing his mouth for more. He ever so slightly pushes a little bit more in as he wraps his lips around your bundle of nerves and gives it a little suck. You’re not sure how to feel. The searing pain from the dildo entering you seems to subside and turns into overwhelming pleasure as Ezra continues his assault on your pussy. Soon he pushes the toy all the way in you, all you can do is lay there, writhing in ecstasy as he starts pumping it in and out, switching back and forth between licking and sucking on your stretched cunt.

“Ooohh nngh oh fuck oh fuck Un- Uncle Ezra please - I-I’m close oh fuck I’m gonna -“

White hot pleasure erupts all over, your legs shaking, your body starts to thrash and wiggle as your orgasm takes over. Your brain is on mute, no thoughts, you can barely even remember your own name.

“That’s its kiddo, oh fuck yea I told you she’d like this. Prettiest fucking pussy, got my face fucking soaked baby. Come here”

Ezra stands up, taking the dildo out of you and licking the flared bottom of it before crouching down in front of the mirror that’s next to your bed and sticking it on the mirror.

He stands back up and takes a step and is back at your side. He puts his hand behind your neck. You can feel his fingers work up the base of your skull and grab a handful of your hair. Once he has a good grip, he pulls you up by your hair,

“ Get on your knees baby it’s time you take a real man in those pretty holes of yours.”

Your legs are jelly, you can’t even manage to land on your feet when he pulls you. You roll out of bed and land on your knees on the floor. Your hands shooting out, landing on his leg as you try to keep yourself from face planting.

“Stick out your tongue baby.”

You immediately drop your jaw and stick your tongue all the way out. Your eyes wide looking up at him, without a single thought behind them. Your consumed with this want to do whatever he says, to swallow up any crumb he may leave you in hopes of feeling a smidge of the pure ecstatic pleasure he can give you again.

With his hand still tangled in your hair, his other hand pulls down his shorts. His thick cock springs out, the tip an angry shade of red with precum already leaking out. He is easily the biggest cock you’ve ever seen. Way bigger than the dildo you just took. No longer scared of any potential pain he may cause you, instead a pang of desire shoots through your body, you can feel your pussy get even wetter.

He takes himself in his hand and gives his cock a few pumps before guiding it into your open mouth. He isn’t so gentle this time. Instead he’s quick to push his cock down your throat, hitting the back of your throat making you gag on the first entry. Instantly you gag hard, tears fall from your eyes as spit starts to leak from your mouth around his cock. He pulls out and quickly shoves himself back in. Your hands go up, laying on his thighs as he pushes your head down on his cock as he pushes in. Giving you no respite, you quickly learn to breathe through your nose.

“Fuck yea always had a pretty little mouth on ya baby go on, give Uncle Ezra’s dick a good suck. Show me how good my dick tastes baby.”

You try real hard to suck on him as best you could. You cover your teeth with your lips and tighten your lips around him. Sucking on him, moving your tongue around, tracing a vein that went from the base almost up to the tip. Your nose buried in his curls as he holds you down on him.

“Oh kiddo, y’doing so good nngh this mouth is mine honey. Only Uncle Ezra fucks this pretty hole y’hear me? That tight little cunt is mine too.”

You moan around his dick, hearing him claim you as his.

Suddenly Ezra yanks on your hair, sending you back off his dick. He moves out of the way and pulls you forward, causing you to fall on your hands as he continues to pull making you crawl. Once he stops you realize your directly in front of your mirror. More specifically right in front of the dildo that is now sticking to it. He crouches down so his face in close to yours

“Suck on the fake dick now baby Uncle Ezra’s gonna be right behind you, opening up that tight little gash o’yours.”

Your eyes wide as spit trickles down your chin. Ezra leans forward shoving his tongue in your mouth, kissing you with feral enthusiasm, licking into your mouth before taking your tongue between his lips and sucking as he pulls back. A string of spit connects you too as he breaks the kiss he takes a few seconds and just admires how beautiful you are. Hair a mess, spit covered chin, a wild look in your eyes that says you love this. You look throughly wrecked and he’s just getting started. He yanks on your hair one last time and guides you to the dildo where you wrap your lips around it and begin to suck. You look into the mirror and see yourself on all fours, sucking the toy as Ezra stands up behind you and takes his clothes all the way off.

Once naked, Ezra gets back down on his knees behind you. His hands glide over the globes of your ass as he sits back on his legs and just takes in the most beautiful debauched scene in front of him. Taking himself in his hand, he gives himself a few pumps before spitting down onto his dick. He lines himself up and pushes in, he goes slow. Giving you barely just the tip and already he’s letting out this unabashed low groan as his eyes roll back.

“Oh fuck baby this is gonna be a tight fit,” he says in a deep lust filled voice, “Don’t worry kiddo Uncle Ezra’s gonna make her purr real nice.”

He reaches down, his fingers finding your clit with a quickness. Softly rubbing circles on your bundle of nerves, you feel yourself relax completely. Ezra pushes in a little bit more.

He might be immoral but he’s not a complete monster. He knows his pretty little niece is a pure virgin, he’s gonna make this unforgettable. He already knows she’ll come crawling back for more, he thinks to himself as a smirk crosses his face.

“Breathe baby, just breathe. Fuck you feel so good, tight little gash suckin me just right.” He coaches you as he finally pushes all the way in, waiting a few beats before he moves again letting you get used to the stretch.

You feel so full with his cock inside you and the dildo in your mouth. You can’t help but whine as you feel him throb inside of you. You pull off the toy,

“Uh-uncle Ez- Ezra please. Oh p-please move oh fuck I’m so full. . s’good.”

Hearing you moan and beg is all he needs as he starts to move and quickly finds a hard, fast pace.

Your mouth falls open into an O shape as the breath is completely knocked out of you as he starts to really fuck you. It’s too much but at the same time you want more. You’ve never felt euphoria quite like this. You go back to sucking on the toy so you can feel that exquisite full feeling again.

“ Ooh kiddo yea. Fucking hell that’s it baby oh fuck look at you. Got a cock finally inside this little virgin slit and you already need two dicks just to satisfy ya huh? Yea you do. Ho-hold on baby I gotta make sure I never forget this.”

His thrusts slow until he stills inside you as he reaches over to his shorts and pulls out his phone. Once he straightens back up behind you, he opens the camera on his phone and flips it so he sees the debauchery that’s in front of him on his phone.

“Yeaaa that’s it, show the camera how much of a nasty little slut you really are honey. Go on, show em how good your pretty little mouth sucks.”

You should feel shame. Embarrassment. You should beg him to not film you in this lewd act. But you can’t. And won’t. Something about him filming this makes you drip with even more want. Makes you want to do even more depraved, perverted acts with him. Maybe even after, the two of you watch your home movies as you lay in bed.

Ezra holds onto your hip with one hand as the other holds his phone as he drives his throbbing cock back in. He sets an unrelenting pace as he pounds into you.

You’re an absolute mess as you moan around the toy in your mouth.

He chuckles darkly, “Look at my sweet little niece. Letting her dirty old uncle pop her sweet cherry. Nngh oh fuck yea. Perfect fucking pussy squeezing me so tight. Look at my cock hungry little whore. I told you she’d like me baby, she’s so creamy, eating me right up.” His words abruptly ended by a moan he couldn’t help but let out.

“Ff-fuck yea that’s it, Uncle Ezra’s gonna cum in his cunt. It’s mine now baby she’s only gonna take my cock, my cum ya hear? Nnn oh fuck oh fuck let me feel you cum sweetheart, come on”

He reaches back down and quickly rubs circles on your clit and immediately your legs start shaking as you feel your orgasm crash over you. You let out a muffled cry, the toy in your mouth keeps you from yelling very loud.

“Fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.”

Ezra chants and soon you feel him spurt hot cum deep inside you. He stills, cock still buried in your tight heat as he bends down over your back.

Ezra puts his phone down as he holds you for a moment, leaving soft kisses on your shoulder and down your back before he pulls himself out of you. You pull off the toy and slump to the side on the floor.

“Let’s get you cleaned up kiddo. How bout we go get some’ to eat? That sound good baby?”

You look up at him with a smile on your face, “Yea that sounds good.”

Ezra smiles back and with that he helps you up and takes you to the bathroom.

[eightmakesonebraincell]

Which of the mafia!ateez members who are bad boys but when you are there, they showed their soft side?

ooooh this ask scratches my brain real good because the concept of mafia!ateez is all about cold, ruthless men with grey morals who become soft, gooey and protective only for their s/o 😍🤩

(pls note: this is based purely on the aus and headcanons that i've created for my mafia world)

mafia!hongjoong - tbh he wouldn't be soft for you per se, he'd be more of a textbook simp LMAO. look the mans has got to maintain his image as the big scary mafia boss. but the person who really runs the show? you. just say the word and he will be contacting all of his connections, pulling in all his owed favours, utilising all his resources and men; basically anything and everything he can do for you

mafia!seonghwa - if joong is the textbook definition of a simp then seonghwa is the textbook definition of soft 🥹🫶 given your history of trauma as well, seonghwa makes sure to shower you with the gentlest and most tender love that he can give you. you make his life so much more domestic and homey and cozy he feels his heart literally burst every time he looks at you

mafia!yunho - he's also very very soft for you. yunho's nearly lost you once (and by his own hands at that) so he's never going to want to see you get hurt ever again. you always have to remind him that you can do things by yourself but it must be the height difference or sth because the man won't doesn't hear a word. but in saying that, this man also finds joy in teasing and pranking you

mafia!yeosang - hmm yeosang was a bit of a tricky one to think about. growing up, you were the one who took care of him a lot of the times (if we're being real i'm pretty sure most of us want to baby him) and so he was mostly just comfortable with you. i think eventually though, once he became your bodyguard and he started to notice that hang on, you're actually shorter and smoller than him now, the dynamic started to change. yeosang probably doesn't even realise that he's got a soft spot for you

mafia!san - hoOOO OKAY san is soft yes but you drive his protective instincts wild. like he is the type to watch the whole world burn if anyone hurts you. he can never really ever forget that night when you turned up at his apartment, vulnerable and asking for his help. he'd put himself between you and the rest of the world in a heartbeat

mafia!mingi - ik a couple of the other teezers have a civilian s/o too, but for mingi in particular, the fact that you're a normal civilian (that he accidentally dragged into his mafia mess) makes him that much softer when he's around you. he's honest with you and will answer your questions if you ever ask, but there's a larger part of him that wants to keep you far far away from his crimes. you see the best in him and if he could, he wants to only show you that side of him forever

mafia!wooyoung - textbook simp #2 like this boy CANNOT. and i say C A N N O T hide his affection for you to save his life (you definitely get kidnapped once a month because of how obvious he makes it that you're his lover). but wooyoung's affection comes hand in hand with brattiness so he will make it his mission to test how far he can drive you up the wall 🙄

mafia!jongho - jongho is definitely soft, but it's a lot more subtle than the other members. he doesn't express it so much with words or touch but you can see his softness clear as day in the things that he does for you. like FIRST UP the whole joining the mafia to bring justice to your dad's death???? he quite literally upended his whole life for you 🫵 i think also the fact that you two have known each other since you were children plays a part in the subtlety of his soft affection. he knows you like the back of his hand and he'll do things for you without ever being asked and without asking for acknowledgement

[the-s1lly-corner]

How about digital circus x princess! Reader with their very own castle. Elegantly leaning out of their tower singing lullabies for anyone to hear. Ps Keep up the great work 👍

TADC cast x princess!reader

I know I usually stress that I answer stuff chronologically but I misread this as just jax (I'm sleepy!!) So I went to search for a princess reader post i did weeks ago, snagged the link then reread the request and saw it was the whole cast... but I've already committed to the bit by searching for the link sooooooooo

CAINE:

You and I both know hes goinv to use the fact ypure a princess for IHA... captured princess trope stuff, basically! So have fun with that! Absolutely loves your singing, so so much. Probably joins in with you, complimenting your part..or perhaps he hums.. other princesses have cute fairytale animals accompanying them, and you have..... bubble..... huh....

Really ups the whole... act when talking to you.. bows deeply, waves his arm around in a grand fashion when showing you to a room, ect ect ect

POMNI:

Has probably subconsciously/accidentally said you were pretty outloud. Gets absolutely lost in the sauce when you sing. Like just stands there, hands awkwardly clasped together in front of her as she listens. Probably sways side to side too. Gets very pink when talking to you, her face does the O^O thing... absolutely smitten

RAGATHA:

Ah my favorite, royal princess x common lady... well, at least aesthetically... whether or not you're royalty in the real world is debatable... anyways, that aside, I think this is probably one of my favorite ship dynamics... I love.. similar to pomni she is very bad at hiding her feelings around you. Tends to stare with a blushing face. Loves making you dresses; assuming you can swap out dresses considering the whole "their clothes are attatched to their bodies" thing

While I doubt your clothing can rip or tear thanks to the properties of the digital world, I think if she could, she would patch up any holes

KINGER:

Honestly I think out of this entire post, kinger is the only one who gets a platonic/found family take on this... just an old king and his princess kid. Again I'm not sure if he truly believes he royalty or if he was trying to appeal to the gloink queen by saying "as a royal myself.." but.. honestly I like the idea that he just likes playing the part. Like he knows hes not royalty but. You know? Let this man embellish himself

Pillow fort? No, pillow TOWER! No... pillow CASTLE! Pillow kingdom!!!

Nothing too hyped specific here he's just your dad here

ZOOBLE:

Oh? Cool. I mean your singing isnt really their cup of tea, they look like they're into alt/indie stuff tbh...maybe rock. Confession I'm terrible at identifying genres so I'm literally speaking out of my ass rn on what type of music zooble would listen to I'd have to list specific artists and songs

But this isnt about that

Depends on what kind of princess you are

If you're independent, resourceful, and badass I think you guys could build some chemistry

If you're like, damsel in distress, ,kind of stuck up, whiny, prissy, ect then it's a hard no

Not many ideas here tbh <\3

GANGLE:

Also thinks you're very pretty! Also loves your singing! I think she grew up on disney films, and even if she doesnt remember them it's still a core memory that like. is kind of instinctive atp. So she finds comfort around you, you know? LOVE that trope btw, where a character doesnt remember something but still finds comfort in it while not fully understanding why because as far as they know this is the first time with the thing

Absolutely melts if you compliment her. Sure, she would still melt if you weren't a princess.. but having someone so pretty and graceful saying it hits a certain way for her

JAX:

[charmedreincarnation]

Charm !!!! I owe you everything thank you. I used your theta state method and got into the void state and reality shifted with it. Sorry if my English is not good, it’s not my first language but I did manifest it was better in the void so please tell me if it’s better! I dmed you so you know who I am but I want to stay anonymous. Basically I played the theta waves like you said to. I repeated I am, And just cried because I couldn’t live like this anymore. When I got to the symptoms I imagined myself in water and they went away. This was where I always got stuck but once I pushed past this I got sucked into myself and ended up in a very weird state.

Anyways I ended up in a lucid dream and after reading your lucid dreaming guide I closed my eyes like you told us to and I was in the void state. I affirmed my list and then intended to go to my waiting room just to see if it worked and it did!! I sobbed for like 10 minutes seeing all my comfort chracters in my wr and the fact that it’s real.

I came back & eveything was here.

My void state list was

-master manifesting and being a fast shifter

-my parents winning the lottery, I took that inspo from you so thank you

-df and db

-eventually meeting my sp

-subliminal playlist results immediately just by looking at the title

-being very smart and having near perfect English after having to use a translator for so long (please tell me if it’s better btw)

-I won a New York lottery where I get 2k a week after taxes for life! I’m about to go to college this autumn so this is so exciting I can have my dream college experience

-acceptance to NYU

-revised my abusive family. I have my dad a hug for the first time and for the first time ever he doesn’t hate me. I cried and he was very confused as I revised the past but not my memory

-& a lot more

Regardless I just want to say it took me 2 yrs. Thank you so much charm for always answering my annoying repetitive asks nicely and telling me to accept I am god. I’ll be back soon, I wanna give back to the community but I’m going to live my life for a while. Thank you guys for everything 😇😇

To anyone doubting is this is real it is. No matter how bad your life is or how impossible it seems like charm says we are god!!! This is something you told me that really helped accept it. In the dms you said “I don’t know how or why it’s real, I have done my own research and have come to my conclusion on why this phenomenon is possible but you shouldn’t care bc it’s yours and you have access to it. Be the first person to do it if you think it isn’t real, because you can”

So i fucking decided I don’t care if everyone lied in this app !! I will be the first person to enter the void. Well now I know it’s real so everyone was telling the truth but I will tell this to everyone. Be the first to get your results if you have to. Good luck everyone 🖤🖤

Omggg periodt !!!!! Congrats on your success anon!!! I just saw your message and I’m literally so happy for you 🥹🥹I feel like a proud mom and I hope you have an amazing time at NYU 💓💓 also omg yes your English is perfect !!!!

don’t thank me for anything You did all the hard work yourself and now you’re reaping the benefits :)!!! Whenever you come back I’d love to hear your shifting experiences but until then have fun 🤩

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 民国奇探/My Roommate is a Detective.

My Roommate is a Detective is a 2020 drama about the Jazz Age shenanigans of a terrible OT3: a useless noodle boy, a spoiled journalist girl, and a handsome thug-turned-cop, who together solve Agatha Christie mysteries in 1920s Shanghai.

I mean, seriously, have you ever wondered what Hercule Poirot would be like if he were a 6'2" Chinese rubber man? If he had a long-suffering sugar daddy from the wrong side of the tracks and a spunky sugar mommy who owned their shared apartment? The answer is, it would be a laugh-out-loud-funny series about a ridiculous and charming assortment of weirdos solving only slightly believable murder mysteries in charming period clothing.

This is another one of those shows where I'm kind of shocked at how not well-known it is, except I'm not, because I can see exactly the problems that keep fandom from descending on it like horny little vultures. Nonetheless, I think it's a good time that more people would enjoy if they gave it the chance. Here's five reasons why you should:

1. Equal parts smart as heck and dumb as butts

On the one hand, especially given its tone and tenor, this show has many surprisingly clever turns and thoughtful moments, carried along by some talented actors. On the other hand, [.gif of a guinea pig in a rollerskate being pushed merrily down a hallway]

This show is not a complicated intellectual exercise. It's an action comedy about a goofy sleuth, a rich-girl reporter, and the cop who should be the straight man in this trio, except he's as much of a goober as the other two are. If the promotional tableaus are giving you real "cover of a Clue box" vibes, you've understood the kind of pastiche it's pulling off.

The mysteries are preposterous. They're all the kind of thing that exemplify the Doyle line about how, when you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left has got to be the answer, no matter how ding-dang improbable it may be. You know the type: tons of overly elaborate setups, unbelievably perfect timing, coincidental long-lost relatives, people hallucinating right and left. They're also very short -- most full cases take only 2-3 episodes to introduce, investigate, and resolve, even when interspersed with the larger goings-on in these weirdos' lives. The DramaWiki page for the show lists 23 separate arcs over 36 episodes, so you do the math.

And yet, it's way more thoughtful and clever than its doofy little setup would indicate. Its attention to detail surprised me on more than one occasion. Add to that a bunch of solid performances from an ensemble of real characters, and what you get is definitely more substantive than a junk-food waste of time. You can't turn your brain off while watching it, but you sure can turn it down, and that's great.

It also doesn't hurt that everyone is super attractive and wearing great outfits. The whole show's worth it for the wardrobes.

2. THE GIRL

Fuck the haters, fuck everyone, I am going to climb right up on my little soapbox and tell you all why Bai Youning is awesome.

She is insane. She's a troll. She's a clever little monster. Every other character's response to her is, oh my god, you are literally the worst. And she is! She has been spoiled beyond belief by her incredibly rich Crime Dad, and she has learned to leverage her uwu just a widdle girl status to get her whatever the hell she wants. She simply cannot hear it when someone says the word "no." She will look her future sister-in-law in the eye and point a loaded gun at her own head without blinking. Every ball she has is made of brass.

She's hardly perfect. During the course of the show, there are some times where her entitlement runs face-first into the brick wall of reality. She's not nearly as good at her chosen career path as she's been told (mostly by the people who get paid to tell her she's good). She's rarely prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions, especially when she can't just throw money at the problem.

So she learns, and grows, and changes. She's always going to be a stubborn bitch, but she can become a stubborn bitch with a more accurate conception of her relationship to the world around her.

She's actually a really good romantic foil for Lu Yao, who is equally stubborn and spoiled and obnoxious as hell. It is a pure brat4brat relationship, where each one thrives on comically enraging the other. What this means, though, is that when they actually start showing one another some vulnerability, it's really sweet.

Now: I'm pretty sure that you could not have made a female character in her position that everyone did not hate, no matter how cool you made her, because that is the fate of all girls who theoretically keep the two boys from kissing. (More on that next point.) If she were less outgoing and friendly, she would've been hated for being too cold. If she were less headstrong, she would've been hated for being a pushover. If she weren't as into the boy, she would've been hated for being frigid. I know the "god forbid a woman do anything" meme is a joke, but ... man, god forbid this girl do anything. She gets a level of hate entirely disproportionate to what she's actually like. As I said with Eom Dada, it's not always sexism, but sometimes, yeah, it's sexism.

(Real talk: Her character is also fighting both how she's definitely not written as well as the boys are and how the plot sometimes needs her to be artificially stupid and jealous for Straightness Drama Reasons, so that's a legit problem on a structural level. Also, she's dubbed by someone else and the boys aren't, which gives her voice an annoying not-quite-there quality that's hard to ignore. The deck is stacked against her real hard even before she steps onscreen.)

So here's my advice: Go into this show wanting to like her. Embrace her terribleness as a positive, intentional quality. Don't be mad at her for straightening up an endgame that was never going to be gay, even without her. Welcome her contributions to the chaos. Realize that she is exactly as entertainingly irritating as her boys are.

Truly, this is a story of three terrible people in love. They're all just awful, and you wouldn't want to be in a room with any of them for longer than you had to. Left to right up there, Bai Youning is spoiled and self-absorbed, Lu Yao is arrogant and lazy, and Qiao Chusheng is suuuuuch a fucking cop. If you're into the kind of dynamic that can only be described OT3: You All Deserve One Another, then this one's perfect for you.

3. Do you really miss '00s queerbaiting?

Like, really? Are you just super-nostalgic for being able to see the showrunners go, ha ha, girls, we know you're watching and we know you want these cute boys to kiss, which they never will -- but what if we pretended for just this one scene??? Do you just carnally ache for that with every fiber of your being?

Yep.

Now, why am I calling the occasional really gay moments between these two gentlemen "queerbaiting" and not "bromance"? Because these moments are a) obviously intentional, b) completely sporadic, and c) never spoken of again.

For example: There's a scene (which you can see a gifset of here) where the two of them are at a restaurant frequented by the cop, who brings a lot of ladies there on dates. When the waiter points this out, useless noodle boy says, I'm his date. The waiter looks mildly surprised by this, the cop says not to listen to his bullshit, and that's the end of it. The scene moves on. There is no further discussion of this comment. It does not affect their relationship.

That's the essence of queerbaiting: that little on-purpose nod to the homoerotic tension between the two, in a way that isn't a joke but also isn't not a joke, and either way is never going to happen. (In fact, the show is going to go out of its way to make sure that ship gets sunk, so, uh, get your fanfiction lifeboats ready for that.)

A true queerbaiting move is something that should make a difference in a relationship, but doesn't. It should make a difference that our cop is so comfortable in the noodle boy's personal space that he invades it at will. It doesn't. It should make a difference that noodle boy keeps getting real weird every time the cop has a date with a girl. It doesn't. Those are some real romantic moves the two of them keep pulling, and then nothing comes of them.

I had this show sold to me as being incredibly shippy, to the point of being even more so than its censored-BL contemporaries. And ... well, it is and it isn't. It has textually gayer individual moments, but it is much less pervasively gay. It's clear from the start that it's going to throw all its actual relationship points into its canon het romance. When it comes to these boys, the show is toying with you. It knows you want to see those boys smooch, just as much as it knows (and it knows you know) they're never gonna.

How you feel about this is entirely up to you -- and indeed, it may be a dealbreaker on the whole drama for you. If you are inclined to pitch a fit when your ship does not become canon, you'll be happier somewhere else. If, however, you see this as a delightful opportunity to do whatever the hell you want with the situation as it is presented, all the while enjoying little moments of startlingly blatant homoeroticism between two handsome dudes, well, here you are!

(I mean, if you want my take on it, what needs to happen is that the cop and the girl need to fuck while the useless noodle boy watches with asexual bisexual interest, and then they all need to snuggle with the noodle boy in the middle so they can both annoy him appropriately, but your mileage may vary.)

4. The multicultural extravaganza!

1920s Shanghai had a lot going on in terms of cultures and languages, and this show actually does a fair job of representing that.

By now, I've seen a number of shows set during this era, and they all at least acknowledge the international nature of the city -- usually by mentioning the French Concession and having a handful of evil Japanese characters. However, this is the first time I've seen a show go to such lengths to actually show so many non-Chinese characters onscreen, even to the point of making one a recurring character supporting the main squad.

Salim is the best. Whatever he is being paid, it's not enough. He's Qiao Chusheng's right-hand man, which means he is also the dude who most often has to put up the main trio's bullshit. (The actor himself is also a dude with a pretty cool backstory, which is another great layer.) He's sharp, he's loyal, he's patient, and he looks great with his shirt off. He's got it all!

Other non-Chinese characters include a white Jewish art collector (I'd issue a warning for period-typical antisemitism, except … honestly, it's mostly just confused), a sadistic priest who maybe is supposed to be Italian, a completely different priest who [last episode spoiler], and three whole sinister white dudes behind it all.

It's not just the world coming to China, though! A large number of the Chinese characters are said to have spent significant time outside of China, whether for business or for schooling. Near the end, when some characters are discussing moving away from Shanghai, they consider a number of foreign cities as potential destinations.

Here's a delightful detail: When Lu Yao and his sister speak English, they're dubbed by actors with posh British accents who sound like native (or near-native) English-speakers. This makes perfect sense, because both of the siblings did a lot of their schooling in the UK. When Bai Youning speaks English, she's dubbed by someone who speaks English very well but also has a noticeable Chinese accent, which makes perfect sense for her character's background. And Qiao Chusheng never speaks English at all, because he's a street tough who has no reason to know more than three words.

...This is also kind of weird to say about something literally made in China, but go with me on it: Everything's kind of got that Art Deco Orientalist vibe to it. It looks like China's idea of what Britain's idea of China during that period would have looked like. The result comes across less like what 1920s Shanghai would actually have looked like, and more what an ad for 1920s Shanghai would have looked like. It's a fascinating aesthetic, and more so for how it's mostly pretty subtle. The show isn't some visual extravaganza, but it's always very nice to look at, and I appreciate that in a show.

5. A wonderful horrible protagonist

A lot of mystery-themed prestige television involves an asshole genius detective who gets away with being a dick to everyone because he's sooooo smart, while all his long-suffering friends and colleagues spend a lot of time doing damage control for him because, sigh, he's an asshole but we need him, genius excuses all dickhead behavior, we'll always make exceptions for him because he's just ever so special. (Watch histrionic sage hbomberguy's video on Sherlock if you're unfamiliar with the trope.)

Lu Yao is an asshole genius detective, but one who winds up spending most of his time being an asshole to a) people who deserve it, or b) his horrible friends who will be assholes right back at him. When he is awful to the people who don't deserve it, the show smacks him pretty hard on the nose for it and makes him apologize.

This is a show where you'll figure out pretty quckly if you'll love it or hate it, because if you love Lu Yao, you'll love it, and vice versa. He carries most of the show himself, with his goofy charm and his incredibly bendy slenderman body and his ability to make the one competent person he knows both protect him and give him money.

Like so.

For my own part, I find him intensely charming, and I think a lot of this has to do with Hu Yitian's ability to play him as an affectionately bullyable weenie who needs to get shoved in a locker for his own good. He's the worst, and it's comically endearing instead of offputting because at the end of the day, he really does have a good heart. He's just also lazy as heck and disinclined to do anything that he does not want to be doing, and really, aren't we all?

As I alluded to in point 3, he comes across as real asexual. He's just not that interested in sex, and he is in fact pretty uncomfortable in situations where he finds himself the subject of someone else's sexual desires. He's perfectly capable of romantic feelings! I mean, not only does he get Bai Youning as a love interest, we actually meet one of his ex-girlfriends. He's just not partciularly horny about them -- which is even more noticeable as a sharp contrast to how extremely horny Qiao Chusheng is for just about everyone, but this exasperating little dork in particular.

(Like seriously, 90% of the time, Chusheng is about to explode with sexual frustration at Lu Yao's skinny oblivious ass.)

This isn't to say you couldn't get Lu Yao into bed, because you absolutely could, and he'd probably have a good time. You'd just have to remove all distractions from the room, lest his ADHD ass wind up running off to solve a crime mid-coitus.

Twiggy little nightmare man. Garbage-animal boy. Love him.

sidebar: A word about the ending

I'm going to be vague and talk about general vibes instead of specific events, but you should still skip this section if you want to remain completely unspoiled. Jump to the picture of Chusheng holding the sledgehammer.

Okay, so, a lot of people do not like the ending, and I'm including myself in that number. I honestly don't know if they got rushed and had to wrap everything pretty last-minute, or if they thought they might get a second season out of it and were leaving things open-ended accordingly. Either way, it's incredibly unsatisfying.

I think there's a clue that the show didn't actually want to end this way, and it's not actually in the text of the show itself. Every episode, between the last scene and the start of the credits, you get to see a couple still frames from the episode (usually some of the queerbaity ones). After the very final shot of the series, you get two images: the boys hugging goodbye, and Chusheng's upset face. That's not a resolution! That is at best a "to be continued..." ending!

But no, that's it. That's all, folks.

It's not quite an ending so bad it ruins the rest of the show, mostly because it doesn't feel finished, so it's less like you're watching a car being deliberately driven into a wall because someone thought that was the best route to take, and more like you're watching someone leave a car on the railroad tracks because they figured they'd have time to move it later.

As far as I know, there has been no noise made about a second season. These 36 episodes are the entirety of the narrative. It had the distinct misfortune to start airing in March 2020, which wasn't exactly prime time for planning sequels, and that seems to have been that. (There is a 2022 show called Checkmate that stars the two main guys in extremely similar roles, also adapting Agatha Christie stories, but it's apparently pretty meh? Somebody else who's actually seen it, go ahead and weigh in here.)

I'll say that if you turn off the episode right after Lu Yao gets out the handcuffs, you'll save yourself the worst of it the awkward and unsatisfying moments (though I'm impressed at your willpower to stop watching something five minutes from the end). That's not all of it, though. Structurally, there are several situations rushed to a resolution and loose threads left flapping untied in the breeze. I guess stopping before the last five minutes simply saves you the hope that it'll pull a good ending out of the fire, because it won't.

And let's be real: The more you hate Bai Youning and her romance with Lu Yao, the more you'll hate the ending. (Not that liking those elements will necessarily make you like the ending, of course, because I'm a fan of hers and I still think the ending is butts.) The ending is already like a pair of uncomfortable shoes; if the het romance especially makes you grind your teeth, the ending becomes a pair of uncomfortable shoes that also have a rock in them. A lot of the comments online indicate plenty of people dropped the show when they learned the het romance would be endgame. It's a pretty common dealbreaker.

Oh well. Bring on the fanfic, I say! Those of us who are used to taking a sledgehammer to canon are unafraid.

Smash it, baby.

Still want to see some of these mysteries?

Both iQiyi and Viki have the answer to your sleuthing!

It's not a perfect show -- as evidenced by my digression about the ending -- but it's a lot of fun. If you can handle the occasional foible and some eyebrow-raising moments, you're in for a good time with some attractive people that occasionally tastes very gay.

Every roommate crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

[calliopieces]

headcanon: Kiyi and Tom-Tom help Maiko get back together after Smoke and Shadow

(this post doubles as sort of a director's commentary on my latest fic that literally no one asked for, but I thought it would be fun to do! LOL)

So we all know that Mai and Zuko broke up in the comics... but their last panel together in Smoke and Shadow Part 3 is them holding their younger siblings, which we can argue leaves things on a pretty hopeful note

(and if we REALLY want to push the Maiko agenda, dare I say it's a foreshadowing of some sorts?)

Additionally, at Emerald City Comic Con 2017 (timestamp 17:52), Gene Luen Yang implied that the breakup is only temporary.

Anyway, shipping aside, I love this part in Smoke and Shadow where Zuko worries about Tom-Tom losing his innocence after getting kidnapped by the 'Kemurikage'. We also find out that him and Mai babysat Tom-Tom on one of their picnic dates.

Going off of this, I have a headcanon that the abducted kids would occasionally gather at the palace after the Kemurikage incident to essentially have group therapy sessions (an initiative by the Fire Lord, because he's worried that the kids might be traumatized). This is how Tom-Tom and Kiyi became friends.

One day, they heard that Mai and Zuko are 'boyfriend-girlfriend'. Here's how it went down on my fic:

“You know, I heard from Dad who heard from other guards who heard from the kitchen ladies that the Fire Lord and Tom-Tom’s sis are boyfriend-girlfriend.”  Hearing Guri, Constable Sung’s son, join in on the conversation made Tom-Tom hyper-aware that he probably shouldn’t say anything bad about Zuko, especially now after knowing that he’s the Fire Lord.

Between the events of the ATLA finale and The Promise Part 2 (which is where Mai breaks up with Zuko in the throne room), I think it's safe to say that Mai would be at the palace for a considerable amount of time. I think it would be funny if the news of their breakup didn't reach ALL of the palace employees---so Kiyi and Tom-Tom took it upon themselves to have their siblings spend more time together.

Another thing I had so much fun writing is this interaction between Mai and Kiyi:

“We already met before. That night in the graveyard,” Mai stated matter-of-factly, causing Kiyi to whip her head up with stuffed cheeks, noodle broth dribbling down her chin. She felt her previously strained smile give way to something more genuine, imagining her younger self.     Instead of scolding her for poor table manners like what her own mother would have done, Mai took out a handkerchief. And, driven by instinct, she wiped the girl’s face—the movements gentle and unhurried.  

Meanwhile, here's my favorite exchange between Zuko and Tom-Tom:

“Do you like my sister, Mister Fire Lord?”  The question took him by great surprise, the fact that Tom-Tom still refused to drop his title never even registered. But despite the unprompted nature of the question, it was one that he could give an answer to at any time of day—and at any stage of his life. “I like your sister very much,” he declared, staring straight into Tom-Tom’s eyes. It was a truth that he has stood by since he was twelve, deeply rooted in the fiber of his being. It was an innate warmth that he believed he would carry forever—one that beats in tandem with his inner fire.  

Near the end of the fic, Mai and Zuko also have a conversation about Azula, and how their messed-up nation didn't give her a normal childhood, while Kiyi and Tom-Tom happily chase glow moths in the background:

“Do you ever look at Kiyi and wonder whether Azula would have been as happy if this country wasn't so messed up?” Mai asked, her gaze curious.  “Every day,” he replied, and generations of siblings being pitted against each other flashed through his mind. “That's why I'm doing my best to give her a normal childhood—with a country that hopefully isn't as messed up.”  “I’m glad that kids today can at least have that much.” She looked at Kiyi and Tom-Tom who were laughing as they continued to chase glow moths, then turned to Zuko with a smirk. “Era of love and peace and all.”

If you've read my rambling all the way to the end, thank you! Here's the link to the fic if you wanna read (please give it some love)

[marukyubi]

Octobie Week 2: Anarchy Just a little drabble for this week '3 Pairing- Hobie x OC this week 'D (Couldn't squeeze out more. Was planning a drawing for this week but a sudden burst of desire to write has consumed me full and quick.) Brief Background - So, my oc, and her universe is in a type of dystopian world where only the people who are born rich keep getting more and more rich and powerful while the people below will never stand a chance truly, being kept in such chaos so they will never remember, get stronger, to trouble any of the "ELITES BORNS". The elites are tight-knit too, but also have tight rules that they made even their own kinds follow strictly, and very rarely that one survive from the pack if they defined the rules. My oc, Angelina, is born an Elite descendent whose family is kinda a feared outcast. Their family defies rules and even advocates the people who are not elites to defy them as well. Also support and try to make the people's lives and the society better even if it's a little bit (The irony of them being able to resist the elites this strongly is because their family has a long line of private military and the control of weapon trading businesses, which made them an essential among them. But in Angel's father's hand, to simply put how the family business stopped, "You know what. I tried the peaceful path first but you guys killed my *adopted* brother. FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOTHERS. I'm burning you all if given a chance.)

If you see Wayne family refs I took, no you don't-

Also, Angel is a Spidersona who now uses the mantle of prowler more often. She still has her organic webs, and she still uses them to have swinging dates with Hobie- but she doesn't like being associated with spiders (especially Peters) after being killed and resurrected. (Her universe Peter is not really that great. He's one of many main factors that caused her death.) She mainly uses magic weapons like her pa :D

Warning - Vulger words, mentions of violence, mentions of cannibalism, mentions of blood, brief old men yaoi, Hobie might be a bit ooc 'cause I wrote in a rush of creativity(sorry '3), it's (almost) an indulgence oc content

EAT THE RICH It's an old saying that originated from the French Revolution and is used by many people who have taken the mentality of anarchism to this day. EAT. the "RICH". When Hobie said it in front of his lover, and her dad who is a great inventor with such generational wealth but even joined him in the chant, and their family who... support him fully despite their power hold and background? (It's a weird family, he knows it when he gets in head first, but they were kind enough...?) He didn't expect her to take it as literally... "You're telling me..." asks Hobie to Angelina slowly, to take in fully of what he's about to say. "That you killed a bunch of big politicians... and fed the meats to... who!?" "My babies!" Angelina answers with a beaming smile, looking all too prideful to drench her limbs in the blood of said people. "Crowley did not mean literal babies," her brother, Felix, chimes in while working on a project near the conversation, and so does her pa(other dad :D). "We don't accept cannibalism in this household," says her pa as he tries out a new magic spell he had just found from an old grimoire. "At least not with those degraded meats." "Then what babies?" Hobie can't help but ask. "My... babies!" She replies with an emphasized voice as if he will just suddenly get the enlightenment of what she truly means. But she did catch her own mistake quick and pointed at the big aquarium behind him that has a wide variety of colorful fishes. "And hey, I'm not a meanie." She proclaims herself with a huff and a proud grin that is a bit terrifying, considering the situation. "I ground the meat to the softest pulp form I can get and mixed it with their normal diet so they won't get sick from the "treat". I also fed to the strayed animals too, no worries." It rendered Hobie a bit speechless, to hear her say all of this like it's nothing special and/or horrifying process. He's almost used to his partner's uncanny and abnormal thought processes but to see her commit one? She can always surprise him in ways he has never thought possible... "... And the reasoning?" asks Hobie quietly with a sigh. He just can't... help it, like how he fell for this bumbling idiot. And one thing he knows for sure about his love is... she would never do things out of irrational or unjustifiable excuses, no matter how the execution is. She sort of means well, almost always. It's just the acts that weird out the people who weren't around this strange family enough. And she does give him the answer immediately, with a brightening, childish smile. "Those pigs tried to legalize underage marriage in their state for the child trafficking shit they're covering for." "...Blimey, tell me you gave all in to torture those bastards." "Hell yeah! Started with making my men slice their dicks and balls off into thin strands with a bloody dull knife while keeping 'em fully awake."

[skloomdumpster]

I keep trying to work out why Silva went to such lengths to build up this hyper-idealised image of Andreas in Sky's mind and I keep coming up short. I mean, okay, he probably wanted Sky to have decent male role models (and Silva felt guilty about killing Andreas) but Sky already had one of those in Silva. Silva was all the things he claimed Andreas was. Which makes what he did even more baffling.

I feel bad for Sky too - imagine being told growing up every five minutes what a great, noble warrior your dad is and then the real thing shows up - and he's basically an overgrown high school bully - Silva didn't just lie about how Andreas died, he lied about his entire personality. In Sky's shoes, I'd be pissed too.

I wondered once or twice even if Rosalind had Andreas under mind control - not regularly, but often enough that she'd done permanent damage to his mind in some way. Or maybe he'd been hit on the head one time too many. Beatrix was a better strategist than he was - and less easily manipulated - and she was 16.

Of course, Andreas may have just been Like That™ to begin with.

I cannot put in enough words how much fun this ask was to get!! CACKLING at the Andreas' comments.

Alright so I thought at length about the Silva conundrum, I remember thinking the same, literally why are you making up this saint about a bully? Why are you generating distance between you and the son you raised? The boy who wants to be your son?

And the it dawned on me that the goal is exactly that.

I think Silva felt incredibly guilty over Sky and that this enormous sensation of duty and guilt has been his north for longer than anything else has. Silva is a man who describes his father's attack to a Burned One and the fact he took upon his young (10 years old!!) shoulders the burden to give his father a mercy kill. It's Duty Duty Duty.

And I think it's important we differentiate duty from obedience. Andreas is obedient. Andreas hears orders and ignores his own criticism of them, he follows trough no matter what. Silva is dutiful. He has morals and a strict honor code and he'll sometimes fuck himself up over these, he'll get tunnel vision when he has 1 goal in mind (cough "your duty is to Alfea!" said to Sky about spying on Bloom)

All this just to say, I think Silva didn't see himself as a good role to Sky not even for a second. Not when he was a drunk and had a baby he didn't even really want, not when he was sober and had to deal with the fact he had taken a father from this kid - had murdered Andreas, and certainly not when Sky started asking questions and he wanted to give a good answer so he projects some of his traits, some of his own father's traits into a fictional Andreas and only digs the hole deeper. By doing what he thinks is right: killing Andreas, taking Sky under his wing, lying to Sky so he can have a good role model, Saul only makes himself less and less of a good guy in his own eyes and so he NEEDS to push himself from Sky and well... Rinse repeat.

A vicious cycle you cannot be free from unless you're willing to go through dismantling all of it. I wonder if a small part of Saul felt soul crushing relief when Andreas came back and ruined everything. Yes, he revealed Saul was a liar in more ways than one, he showed Saul was a murderer... But also he showed Sky he was not the Andreas from the stories. Which certainly hurt like hell to Sky, but must've felt a little good from Saul's perspective, since he was painting an Andreas who could easily step in and take his son and that simply wasn't reality.

I'm probably rambling, sorry!!

Now, about Andreas, I AGREE SO MUCH. Honestly, about Andreas AND Saul! Strategic my ass, these two are terrible. But I do think Saul has a much clearer head during combat, he can explore his team's strengths and the enemies weaknesses, where Andreas is brute force.

Which, sure, is pretty bad when we look at it head on, but it's not something without its place in a war. Rosalind promoted him for a reason and I can see it, when you're a bloody war where there's no place for hesitation, no place for mercy and obedience is all your commander asks from, Andreas is the perfect soldier. He's a man who'll push through whatever is front of him with sheer brute force and that's what the Burned Ones called for most of the time in the battle field, someone relentless and blood thirsty. In the long run? Not so much!

I think it shows how Andreas is as a character: pragmatic, brute, loyal - that he doesn't question Rosalind's orders and fucks up his relationship with Bea by doing this. Why did he lie about what happened in Aster Dell? Anyone with a brain would understand he'd have a better luck twisting what Aster Dell stood for (a corrupt place) than twisting his role in its destruction. Yet he does that!! He's not a very bright man and that's alright, being smarter than he was would've probably gotten him murdered sooner tbh.

[jasontoddiefor]

Heyyyyy roses & champagne anon here! First your answer made me feral with all the juicy brain gremlins it spawned and then you wrote that little fic and I now I’m even more insane but like all I can picture is Leewon going “fuck this shit I’m out” at like age 11, running away, accidentally running into Caesar who’s already starting to get the feelings of “hippity hoppity I want you to be my property” weird little friendship starting to form.

And then years later Leewon in full on teenage rebellion bad decision making is like “what if I lost my virginity to this dude I sometimes hang out with that my dad can not stand? Wouldn’t that be fun?” and uh accidentally turns Caesar’s budding obsession with him over the years into full blown levels of “I am planning our wedding, it’s going to be in the summer because you get cold and then you will never ever leave me.” as Leewon is like damn the dirty talk in this fwb relationship hits hard

And then Leewon finally achieves his dream of fucking off back to Korea for college and does that without hesitation and then stays even longer for law school because he likes pretending he’s normal, he likes pretending his life is normal, (he’s a lawyer and his ass is lying, he could never truly be content with normalcy) and he only goes back because he wants to say a proper goodbye, after he graduates from law school

And uh proceeds to cheerfully greet the man whose heart he unintentionally shattered and now haunted like a ghost for seven years like nothing ever happened. Oops?

Also in regards for Vladimir I feel they got a weird resentment codependency going on there but also I can’t help but feel in a world that they grew up together they’d kind of be bickering gossiping friends at their core so it’s like “I hate the roles we have been forced into because one another, sometimes I think I even hate you, but you’re are still a core of my world and I don’t know how to exist without you because of this, anyway you will not believe with this one lady did at a party-“ kind of vibe going on. He’s pissed and hurt and resentful when Leewon goes back to Korea and he spends years soothing his and everyone else’s hurt and Leewon comes back and he’s angry for like 5 minutes before breaking and filling him on the latest gossip. Because I think they deserve to have a messy, complicated relationship that’s also overrun by the need to be a bitch and discuss drama because there is literally no other option in the mafia compound.

If you’ve got any more thoughts on this au I would love to hear them so badly!!

Anon you’re back!!!

Aaah thank you so much for your long ask, this absolutely made my evening (literally, I’m stuck in bed bc my back is killing me and am using my bluetooth keyboard to write this reply lying down hahaha)

Let’s start on the family side: time to reveal the fact that this AU also exists to like at least 30% because I wanted younger sibling Vladimir takes. That man already behaves like a spoiled younger brother in canon, he’d be terrible here. I do think their dynamic would be exactly as you said. Vladimir gets adopted to be Leewon’s companion, his right hand, raised to be loyal and trustworthy - his one and only friend after nearly a year of living in Russia. It fucks up their dynamic because they’re raised with clear expectations but at the same tie, the only way Leewon treats him is as a younger brother? Because that is the notion that makes the most sense to him at that age. When he realizes what Vladimir’s purpose is, he very much resents it? They have a bit of a falling out because to Vladimir, his older brother suddenly started distancing himself with no explanation as to why. And like, when he realizes the reason, he doesn’t really think it’s bad because he owns the Lomonosov his life anyway? Of course he’d die for his older brother. He loves him and that’s his job.

Anyway. Vladimir thinks Dimitri ain’t shit. He would never treat his boss like that and scheme. He’s built different (loyal like a most beloved dog). Leewon staying in Korea for his studies kind of helps Vladimir gain some perspective and insight into everything because nothing makes you reflect more than your codependent better half not being within reaching distance. But at the end of the day, he still doesn’t entirely mind. He stops pushing the boundary when Leewon enforces it (opposed to his behavior as a kid) but that’s about it. They are two very gossipy siblings.

To Leewon’s life!!! Anon I am !!! At how your ideas match mine. For the simpler things - Leewon absolutely puts his foot down about studying in Korea. It’s probably the biggest fight he and Mikhail ever have. I’m thinking maybe to the point it’s the first and only time Mikhail genuinely hurts Leewon in his anger? Like, Leewon has been hit before by his father, during training, but only seldom bc Mikhail frankly speaking has Issues and was not cut out for teaching his son violence himself. But yeah, they fight, there’s injury, and hmm. Not entirely sure if Leewon just stays in his room or moves to another property in the city until his flight to Korea, with Vladimir acting as an unwilling go between father and son because he ALSO thinks this is a shit idea, but if he says so then Leewon won’t talk to him anymore either (and then he wouldn’t talk to anyone, and it’s Vladimir’s job to advise his brother, but he’s supposed to be on his side even more.)

Anyway, Leewon leaves to study and I imagine he only comes home during the holidays which are incredibly tense the first year, but get better after. I don’t think Leewon quite has the concept of I could leave this life. He’s angry and frustrated, but not to the point where he can picture a life where he’s not the family heir? I think he mostly wants to run this business differently and that most of his frustration comes from his father raising him as this sheltered princess in the tower. His best friend is his little brother who his father adopted so he would have someone to talk to. That’s deeply fucked up, especially because he spent his first nine years just attending normal school and playing with the neighborhood kids. Even more, with his mother sick and dying early, Leewon at nine is fairly used to doing things independently, and now suddenly needing an adult to go with him everywhere, if he’s allowed out of the house at all, is horrible.

Now on to our hot mess, the red flag fuck himself.

I was also 200% thinking “oh yeah they absolutely fucked when Leewon was like 15”. To Caesar this is absolutely a game at that point, some matter of pride to get the enemy’s heir in his bed (or just. Beneath him. Imma be honest, I think Leewon ran away, got drunk at a bar and they fucked in a bathroom stall under dubious consent). Drunk teenagers with too much power and too many daddy issues. Leewon got “I’m doing sth that isn’t safe my father would freak about this” out of it.

Anyway, I do think Caesar would be amused at first, and then grow into his - as you put it so aptly it made me wheeze - “hippity hoppity I want you to be my property”. The 11 year old mouthing off against his kidnappers with little strength to back it up was entertaining (Caesar was honestly just there because it seemed easier to just let himself be taken to get to the guy whose head he needs to bash in than wait around) especially because he didn’t hold back. And then it’s a game, deflowering him, taking more and more pieces, not quite like collecting fountain pens or art, more the desire to consume entirely. Till death does them part, yes? Predictably, does not react well to Leewon’s “wow why is my bad decisions fuckbuddy so intense about me?” Behavior and being left out of Leewon’s plans.

My guy has just been assuming that them being fwb means they won’t try to constantly kill each other when they’re All Grown Up and in charge of their father’s businesses. I think this Leewon would very much enjoy the illusion of normalcy, matching Caesar’s freak in the way he reacts when it is interrupted. But I think that also means he’s rather peculiar about upholding the status quo to a degree.

Meanwhile Dimitri has been under the assumption Caesar has been running a long con trying to gobble up Lomonosov via making its heir his boytoy.

Well this got long but I hope you enjoyed my thoughts!!! Feel free to dm me any time, I’d love to hear more of your ideas!

[stevie-petey]

Hi m! I'm not sure if you remember but I sent you an ask a long time ago, around the end of season three about season four. About bug and max and vecna? I had some more thoughts if you're open to hearing them!

First of all can I just say the phone call came out of the blue for me, and I think it was genius. I knew that Jonathan was gonna miss bug but I never thought it'd be like that. And I really loved dear Billy, we're beginning to see how much it's going to affect bug seeing max being targeted, and how bug literally invited vecna to take her instead of max. Also the scene of Steve and Nancy at the trailer park was perfection. You did a really good job opening a gateway for bugs insecurity and fear to slip through, and the same with Steve and Dustin! I'm not totally sure how Nancy and bugs relationship is going to go in a matter of how they deal with their feelings. Like Nancy's problems with Jonathan, and bugs problem with Jonathan and her insecurities about Steve. Also Steve's relationship issues with bug partially caused by Jonathan . What I'm most curious about is the plan of luring vecna. At first I didn't know who'd bug go with, I couldn't find a place for her where steve wouldn't object. He wouldn't want her with him in the upsidedown because it's too dangerous. If something happens he won't be able to help her, or vecna would sense her somehow due to the psychic connection he has. Since Steve doesn't want her in the upsidedown that rules out Dustin and Eddie. Which leaves Max, Lucas and Erica, but I really don't think Steve would trust bug with Max. He couldn't trust bug not to throw herself in danger to protect max. So that leaves her with Erica on lookout. At the same time I don't think bug would leave max alone. I don't think she'd abandon her post necessarily but I have a feeling she'd have a plan to save max. The second she hears or sees something wrong she's gonna rush in, but maybe she can't get to the attic in time? Who knows! Vecna is very tricky but he can't trance two people at one time. I still think bugs attacks will happen after max is sacrificed. Her trances will still progress like it did with the other victims but in the end it'll still be Max. Maybe bug will have her own floaty moment but I don't think vecna would kill her. She will have her own uses in season five. I really think after the panic dies down there's gonna be a lot of turmoil in the group since Steve knows about the phone call and Nancy probably won't know? And when bug calls him back, I feel like Steve might take that as confirmation, that would feed into his abandonment issues. I also saw the post about Claudia maybe dying? If that does happen dear God. Imagine bug waking up in the hospital, and she sees max. She's heartbroken, then she starts to think about Dustin and her mom, when everyone is at the cabin meeting up with the rest of the party bug sneaks back to her house, only to find a huge crack where her house used to be. That would be her last straw. It would take alot for her to come back from that. Like I don't even think Steve or Jonathan could. Dustin and Joyce can keep her from going off the deep end but it'd be a lot. Maybe you can do some kind of healing things where her dad is the one to help her, but I can see this only growing her resentment for her father 10x. She'd be very depressed. I also had the idea about vecna making the party choose between bug and max that I'm not sure if I sent it to you before. Bug goes into a trance and for those few minutes max wakes up, but when bug comes back max goes back too. Bug would be put on lockdown after that. Everyone knows she'd do anything to get Max back. It'd be very dramatic and heartbreaking for the party to see.

i DO remember the ask you sent and i specifically didnt answer because you touched on a whole bunch of plots i was planning and u predicted a LOT so i was like oh damn anon ur in my mind.

as for THIS ask ,,,,, whew ! all i will say is that choosing who bug would stay with for the final ep was agonizing because i truly had no idea how to mend that plot hole. she wouldnt leave max alone, nor dustin, nor steve. so it was. very rough deciding.

however !!! i came up with a quasi solution that im very excited to show yall when the time comes. im proud of how i shifted canon and fit my own bug prerogative in lmao.

as for everything else in this ask: wait n see <3

[bluebellhairpin]

i need to talk about this rn i'm sorry but i've been having baby fever and been thinking so much about erwin as a dad 😞🩷 (cw pregnancy)

firstly, he suspects you're pregnancy before you do. he's so observant and knows you so well, so when you start to look tired, or have cravings/aversions to certain foods you didn't before, he takes note. what seals it for him is when he notices your pet (let's say a dog) clinging to you. of course they like you, but now it seems they don't want you out of their sight, might even growl whenever he tries to touch you in their presence. and of course, he notices if you haven't yet had your period (he doesn't even need an app he just remembers your usual time of month) but of course he is considerate that you may want to surprise him, and he is gracious enough to be surprised and over the moon with you when you tell him because of course the confirmation is better than the suspicion. he does admit to knowing already later on, but how can you be mad that he pays attention so well??

and when you get rounder, you learn quickly the baby has a preference for his voice. if the baby is hiding from you in the belly or keeps kicking when you want to rest, they only listen to his voice, he'll say something like "Be kind to your mother," and the child will literally stop and you're just like " •_•"

also he will absolutely hire someone to help with cleaning and cooking while you recover postpartum, make sure you don't have to lift a finger for anything besides the baby and your own wellness. even after the first couple weeks and the person he hired is gone, he'll still do most of the cleaning and cooking while you recover because he understands that while you focus on cariny for the baby, he has to focus on caring for you. he will also want to be involved with learning about how to best care for the baby as much as possible (he becomes a master at burping 😌)

and the first time you guys drop the child off at daycare, he's pretty straightfaced and serious to anyone looking at him, gives a quick hug and a kiss to his little one but mainly focuses on making sure everything is accounted for in their bag and lunchkit. the staff might think he's too cold and aloof to be so unemotional about his child's first day at daycare, but what they don't know is that the second he gets in the car and out of the kiddo's sight he puts his hand over his face and starts weeping softly, holding your hand so tightly with the other because his baby is getting so big so fast and he's proud but also sad after hearing them cry as soon as you both walked out.

he just becomes the most wonderful father and husband and loves his family with everything he has ☺️🩷

ik I told u like two days ago I was letting this cook and I'd answers that night but OOF i forgot. however i've enjoyed being reminded each time I went into my ask box! I read though it each time! loved it so much! anyway i'm gonna pop som thoughts below so this doesn't get too long for the poor people who don't wanna be Erwin's baby mama's lol <3

cw pregnancy for below

I very much headcanon Erwin as an observant man, so I 100% agree with the notion that he notices you're pregnant before you do. the food tastes changing, the sickness (the dog! (in my little world there's a dog! (his name is Atticus))) - the notes it all away but the little shit says nothing. he might partially be being considerate and letting you tell him, but i also think he isn't above waiting how long it take you to figure it out after he does. it's like a little bet he has with himself lol

AND THE BABY LIKING HIS VOICE ofc my child would only listen to Erwin smh. that's kinda so funny to me though, I love that idea. maybe Erwin spoke quietly for a while and the baby was real still, you kind of panicked a little, but as soon as Erwin went "oh my god, What?!" the babe went wild as if to say "oh, daddy is here! yay! he didn't leave us alone!" bc yk. the baby is a little shit too just like it's dad.

He also totally doesn't like the idea of you lifting a finger. he says your body is busy making a whole human being, don't you dare make him dinner too, making it himself is the least he can do. I also firmly believe afterwards he's a very hands on dad. yeah perhaps he'll keep some hired help around for the days where e's not there, but when he is there? you're surprised he isn't run off his feet. the man has so much energy for being so chill and stoic. he'd be out here being dad, mum, housekeeper, cook, taxi AND CEO, and still cuddle up to you at the end of the day and wanna attempt to ENTHUSIASTICALY put ANOTHER baby in you.

thEN the picture of him breaking after dropping your kid off for their first day! my heart! he is such a softie. big fucking teddy bear. full of marshmallows and clouds. he can look cold and aloof all he likes but we know the truth. we've seen him cry while watching both The Good Dinosaur and Bluey. he can't hide from us.

[bobbydagen24]

going back to my Peppy Dies idea for a Future film what would you think if the movie did legit have Poppy forgive the Villain who killed Peppy? or at least let them off the Hook in the end?

links above if your not caught up lol anyway

I talked before about how in this story idea there would be two ways of resolving the conflict either of which I feel would work in making Poppy's character stronger

either having her finally admit some of her morals and beliefs can't always work and sometimes some people do just need to be stopped with force and can't be redeemed or talked around.

or having her still stick to her ideals even after her dads death and trying to make peace with the villains Despite what they did and

tbh given this is Trolls I could kinda imagine them most likely going with the second option and maybe going all the way with the Forgiveness message

and even if the main villain of a story did legit kill Peppy Poppy would still Decide to forgive them and they'd even be let off the Hook in the end.

not only for her own peace of mind but also maybe just as a choice of her putting the Village first if this villain has their own community that they'd have to fight in order to get to them.

so she'd still actively try and choose the most peaceful option for everyone even if it meant having to let something as big as this go and move on with her life anyway.

and tbh I actually wouldn't mind that my problem with Poppy isn't her character's beliefs my problem is it doesn't really feel like she's had them properly tested and thus feels less admirable for lack of a better word.

her being kind and bubbly and constantly preaching to other people about giving second chances and family being important even if it isn't perfect and violence not being the answer.

are on the surface noble Traits for a character to have but imo its weakened a lot by her not actually having been properly challenged on these ideals.

instead it always seems to be people around her who have to go through the harsh extremes and still decide to maintain these values

like all the people Barb enslaved and who's homes she destroyed having to be cool with her roaming free at the end of the second movie and the Pop Queen buddying up to her.

or Branch having to go through everything he did with his family and despite their crappy behaviour in present day still decide to uphold poppy's values of family always being worth it even if they have major flaws.

Poppy herself preaches about stuff like this while never actually being the one Tested in the films

Viva was meant to be a test for her the writers literally said this but that doesn't really work imo

because frankly it isn't strong enough Viva had problems that were neither of their faults and honestly didn't effect Poppy that much

since she obviously would have just come back for her after they had saved Floyd anyway so their separation was only ever going to be temporary

even if Viva hadn't gotten over her decades long fear to come and help Poppy in the end so that wasn't really a test of Poppy's values at all tbh.

so yeah I feel this or something like this would work well in making Poppy a stronger character even if some people would say it would just be another example of Trolls being too forgiving of villains.

which it would to be fair but at least in this instance it would actually be character focused

unlike with Barb or Crimp getting let off the Hook in the past for no real Thematic or character Driven Reason.

what do you think about this idea? you can be Brutally Honest I Don't mind 😂😂😂😂