#also research just dont fit with me
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jackbrakkow · 2 years ago
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literally my life changed when i found out you don't have to know everything about your special interest for it to be your special interest it was so freeing
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pigeon-butch · 5 months ago
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I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist
#this ^ isn't directed at any post in particular but instead a lot of comments ive seen. but now im gonna talk about other posts down here#and prefacing anything i put in the tags here with DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH#but the biggest post ive seen going around rn about moo deng being mistreated and the general quality of khao kheow zoo is questionable#claims that the enclosure is mostly concrete seem to be false from all the sources i can find#the concrete section looks like its specifically around the feeding area which fits zoo care guidelines which specify that the feeding area#be a surface that can be easily cleaned separate from the substrate and is a surface present in other zoos#the lack of deep water also seems to be purposeful? older videos of the same enclosure show deeper water areas#and looking back through the news every baby pygmy hippo announcement from every zoo i could find mentioned periods where the baby had to#learn to swim and was slowly introduced from shallow water to deeper water as time passed#this was also corroborated by fowlers zoo and wild animal medicine volume 8 which suggests keeping the mother dry and then slowly#introducing water as the baby grows as a potential best practice#damn im treating this like a paper now. anyway the negatives#there are absolutely things that strike me as bad eg. public access to the hippos and the way the keeper interacts with them#for the keeper stuff in particular i'd really like to see input from someone who has experience as a zookeeper with pygmy hippos#the public access is something that i def think the zoo could improve on and even older footage from years ago shows people sticking like#selfie sticks and shit off the side of the railings and right into the hippos faces#however again the zoo seems to be making efforts to curb visitor behavior which is tough when you go from having 800 visitors a day to#4000+ and you can't remodel the whole exhibit right then and there#all this to say! just do your own research and take somewhat inflammatory comments on the internet with a grain of salt#also just to make it clear im not making any sweeping statements on khao kheow or the treatment of moo deng im just summarizing what i foun#based on what's being said in the most popular post on the subject ive seen.#for the potential like three people who will read all this hi :) hope ur having a nice day
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djpurple3 · 1 month ago
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as a major yoglabs enjoyer (phosphor here!!), im here to provide you a shortlist of the best lore episodes, if you wanted to get a taste! Hypercubed also directly ties into yoglabs lore, but that series was unfortunately cut very short, so there are only about 4 episodes in total :(.
EP 1: Welcome to the Facility - exactly what it says on the tin, this is the introduction to the series! also places it directly in the timeline as 'mid jaffa factory'.
EP 37/38: Soul Absorber/Clone Lab - honestly the Most important lore episodes of yoglabs, to me anyway. made me actually cry as a child, even through their silly goofy acting. also has a hamlet reference, so its got a special place in my heart.
EP 50: Bacterial Menace - this is in the Welcome to Yoglabs music video! this is actually a little low on lore in comparison, i just really love it, honestly.
EP 52: Holodeck - lightly used for some people's BOTC headcanons I believe! also talks about the microchips! also nightly highlights the 'decay' of the honeydew clones post episode 38.
EP 67: Teletubbies - i know, i know, but the episode cold opens with Honeydew crawling out of his own *grave* so. (also revealing xephos has been burying every single clone of the 8937 since episode 38). this isn't how you grieve, dude. also features xephos leaving honeydew do die during yoglabs self destruct??? ive got. feelings about that.
special mentions: EP 39 -> EP 40 showing the number of honeydew clones xeph has gone through jumping by the thousands over the course of a single episode, EP 55 with a xephos!irsraphel easter egg
oh my god!!! thank you phosphor?? this is so nice of you and VERY helpful thank you. yeah i think i watched 1 ep of yoglabs when i was a kid and never really stuck to it? (coming into... uh.... yogblr? dfgjkdf as of late and seeing everyone talk abt lore i dont know has been really interesting) like the xephos israphel thing is a Real lore thing?? i didnt know that!
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moeblob · 1 year ago
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New OCs
(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)
OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.
#my characters#also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation#but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him#but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too#its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful#mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human#mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS#while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life#and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt#but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet#and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me#so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research#and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah#and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans#are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect#i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research#and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart#but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know#and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha#anyway if you read all those tags ty#and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad#i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so#i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main#but then here i am posting on main#im sorry
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hanzajesthanza · 9 months ago
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actually wait. a full cauldron with water is really heavy. dandelion was right to ask her if she needed help. because milva did carry that full cauldron from the river back to the sand on her own. and making this more interesting is that when they have to take it off the fire later, both cahir and regis lift it off together. so milva is as strong as cahir and regis combined? a result of the draw weight of her bow? enough to knock out a man with her fists? i need to see her arms. for science
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skitskatdacat63 · 10 months ago
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I have a problem.
Further evidence:
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szappan · 8 months ago
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what do i write my thesis about!!!
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vaguehotels · 10 months ago
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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volfoss · 1 year ago
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do u guys like her...
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crowempress · 5 months ago
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My counselor made me do a test a while back to see what disorders my symptoms line up with. And a really high one I scored was OCD and I was like pfft. I have a bunch of friends with OCD and I don't relate to what they tell me at all! And then I keep seeing posts about OCD traits that are highly relatable to thought patterns and behaviors I have that I had always thought just came from my anxiety disorder and now I'm like UH. Huh......
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subarashiihibi · 2 years ago
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logging onto tumblr and seeing blatant ableism was not something i was expecting but Alright
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saja-star · 2 years ago
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Me: I will be talking to prospective research participants on facebook, because that is the norm for professional communication in this culture and most people don't use email unless they regularly deal with foreigners.
IRB: This makes us uneasy. Will these be fake fb names for privacy or their real names?
Me: Who tf has a fake fb name for privacy? They will almost definitely use their real names.
IRB: How will you securely store their real fb names?
Me: If you want I can make a super secret spreadsheet with people's fb names on an encrypted hard drive. If that would make you feel better. But um, they are going to post on my wall and friend me and comment on all my posts and shit. Like I can't stop them from doing that.
IRB: That's fine. Please make a super secret spreadsheet.
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arolesbianism · 2 months ago
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I'm finally fucking free Babeyyyyyyy
#rat rambles#oni posting#locavore has finally been hit thank fucking god#at cycle 205#idk how long it usually takes ppl but I imagine it's usually able to be completed much sooner#and to be clear I always play on the normal speed so not counting pausing thats at least like 30 hours of me waiting for this fucking thing#anyways! Im currently preparing my first rocket for power bank production since I can actually do research now#I suppose the next step is to plan out how I want to expand my main base since I have kept it pretty small so far#but now that farming is in fact an option I have I would like to be able to expand to fit more of a population#my main food source will probably still be meat but I want to be able to produce more of it with more dreckos#and let it be known my current dreckos are only alive due to me maticulously placing them by food outside their ranch when theyre hungry#which is yknow. annoying and innificent as hell. but I had to keep them alive somehow#I do also have stone hatches going but I dont have any volcanoes yet so I dont wanna be dependent on them#which Im already not that much so that's a plus#I also like just got pacu going so thatll also be a big boon for me going forward#the real question for me rn is which plants I wanna nother with farming since I do have a lot of options#generally speaking berry pie is one of my favorite high teir foods to run so Ill probably end up doing that again#especially since I have a sulfur guyser#the big thing is that my planetoid is actually quite chilly rn so figuring out where and how to set these farms up is going to be annoying#Ive been playing real fast and loose with breaking into cold biomes and leaving them to leak and it's biting me in the ass now#well ultimately not that much since again Im pretty chill on food rn#I have over a million kcals of food built up in my (now proper) deep freezer so Im feeling pretty secure#basically I have plenty of time to kill rn so Im not going to fret too hard abt the farming for my dupes thing and more abt the dreckos#this achievement as it turns out rly isnt too hard when you only have one mouth to feed for most of it#most of my problems in this save rly have just come 3rd tier research being harder for me#which is usually just a problem due to the power requirements but I actually am pretty good on power rn#I wont be forever but Im feeling pretty secure rn#bionic dupes rly do force you to get your shit together power wise much earlier than you'd usually be forced to#which in turn does also put the torch of heat by your feet sooner#it definitely leads to a very different early game than Im used to playing which has been quite fun so far
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fakecats · 7 months ago
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i was not prepared for the way you have to think about everything ever before making a webcomic
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iamfuckingsorry · 9 months ago
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Writing the acknowledgement part of my thesis and god it's so frustrating. I don't really feel like I got that much support from my direct supervisor, I have been extremely asocial throughout and also just haven't really felt welcome/like I belong in this lab at any point (like, people here are all ambitious, have their shit together, talk about what frying pans they like and what gym they go to and their kids, and they all voluntarily wear business casual attire - for context my previous lab, which I quite liked, was like "no visible stains on your cargo pants and anime tees please" and my supervisor had 5 identical shirts to wear monday to friday, ate a head of lettuce for lunch every single day, and worked 5 am - 2 pm because he hated crowded trains that much). I did an extremely meh job as a direct result of how I felt about the department/lab (which, yes, can't really blame anyone else for this but anyway) and quite possibly fucked up my future chances of ever scoring a job in academia. But obviously I can't say that, I need to thank my supervisor and the PI and the department for providing support and being welcoming and whatnot, but it just feels so fucking /fake/...
Man, I'm too autistic for this shit
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kaisentine · 14 days ago
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𝒲HAT IS THAT MELODY?
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turn that shit up ! what popular song do bllk boys remind me of?
feat. michael kaiser, itoshi sae, mikage reo, itoshi rin, oliver aiku
note : YES… i did do research on what the songs’ meanings are and i understand some of them don’t fit as well but i’m also basing this off of certain lyrics as well so #don’tdiscriminate… also this has opened up my multi-character works 😁 expect more in the future LMFAO. also is this the right time to say i did not proofread
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💿 MICHAEL KAISER is now playing… back to the basics by lana del rey (unreleased)
cw : uhm coercion (i think), implied toxic relationship (I LOVE KAISER DONT GET ME WRONG… but he’s still poopy anyway #keepingitreal☹️) + if you count that in, then there’s angst if you squint, thoughts of killing (JUST ONCE and it’s not serious, promise!)
“everybody’s saying that you’re no good for me”
it’s not hard to decipher you’re definitely in love with the star soccer player—michael kaiser. however, even with your rose-tinted glasses, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still an asshole. so now it honestly feels like it’s you and him (probably ness too) v.s your friends. they just don’t understand the euphoria hidden behind all his lies. but God was it hard to handle him now that he’s a hotshot within the athletic world—it’s like when you try to speak to him, he starts spewing nonsense and even more lies to you.
“c’mon, hase.” his plea sounds more like demanding no matter how hard he tried to sound convincing. it’s weird seeing a man like him on his knees begging so you avert your gaze with your arms crossed. you know you’re doomed to give into him and his sweet-talk again—like you always do—kaiser knows that, he just needs to find which button to press to make you give in faster.
this time you’re taking longer than you normally do. he’s starting to get impatient by your little game of trying to get rid of him. “kaiser… we can’t keep doing this anymore.” you finally say, something kaiser didn’t expect you to say. “last name basis already, huh?” he gets up from his (very awkward) position to tower over you—to intimidate you.
you try to stand your ground but with the way he’s looking at you, is it too late to run away?
“i know what you’re trying to do. my friends keep telling me.” you’re stubborn, aren’t you? you’re annoying when you’re like this, he hates it. “and you’re really listening to your friends over your boyfriend?” he keeps trying to talk but you cut him off, “ex-boyfriend. please, don’t do this.” you’re the one begging now and he really wishes he could relish in this sight forever.
SLAM
holy shit, did you just slam the door on him? i’m going to die—you think. kaiser chuckles on your porch after being met with your front-door i’m going to kill you—he thinks.
the next few weeks are bombarded by countless messages from ness. who you are quite acquainted with him because of kaiser. all of them are along the lines of ‘trust me, he’s changed’ they’re all full of bullshit that you can smell it and scrunch your nose up in disgust. but as fate would have it, it wasn’t on your side!
“took ‘ya long enough, hase.” the sickly sweet nickname rolls off his tongue like second nature. it’s a very familiar scene, he’s on your doorstep again. he’s towering over you and your eyes are glossed over with admiration and guilt. “‘m really sorry.” you try not to sniffle to keep it cool. you really despise the way kaiser can’t keep his stupid grin off of his face at your weak attempt not to cry. “aw, it’s okay. but it’s gonna take a lot for me to forgive you.” he says in faux concern before pulling you into a hug—his cologne filling up your senses and making it hard to breathe.
the urge to punch him in the stomach is futile by the way he basically crushes your bones in the hug. oh you hate the way you can never get rid of him, oh you hate the way you give into him, oh you hate the way he’s the one wanting the apology when it’s actually you who deserves such privilege.
‘i hate you but i really just hate the way i love you too much to let go.’
because eventually, you know you’ll always fall into his traps no matter how far you run away. however, the only thing on your mind is how you’ll never hear the end of it from your friends.
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💿 ITOSHI SAE is now playing… no one noticed by the marias
cw : angst, hurt/little to no comfort (guys… please don’t burn me), OK but open-ending, uh sae might be a really super big asshole here, i also realized at the end that 7 weeks and 3 days by yungatita would’ve been better but YOLO
“come on, don’t leave me, it can’t be that easy, babe.”
as much as you’d like to make him stay, you know he wouldn’t. he wanted to be as free as a bird in the sky with no restraints—including a relationship. even after promising one day he’d come back, reassuring you that you’ll always be his answer, he then left without a trace. now you’re just starting to realize letting go is easier than it seems until the problem arises once again.
you know he already told you that he’d come back but why only now does he decide to show up? a lover of yours to whom you vowed to never love another before his return. it’s just been so long that you doubt he evens remembers the promise.
“didn’t think you’d actually turn up.” you spit out, he isn’t even phased by the malice in your tone. “i told you i would, didn’t i?” he responds. “yeah but that was like ten fucking years ago?” you emphasize the ten fucking years because seriously, ten years radio silence and he thinks he can just slide back into you life like that? he must be a crazed man.
for the first three years of those ten, you were content with waiting for him. the fourth and fifth, you began growing impatient. sixth, you felt like you didn’t care anymore. from the seventh to ninth year, you swore you hated him with a dagger aimed to your heart. lastly, on the tenth year (on which he decided to show up), you finally accepted he did not give a shit and that you shouldn’t either.
“i needed to prioritize my career before i could support any of my relationships.” he now sounds confused by the way you’re so upset at this situation.
he used the ten years you took to realize that dwelling on some dumb red-head wasn’t worth it to work on his soccer career? “you could’ve texted.” you retorted. “didn’t have the time to.” your jaw actually wants to drop by how ignorant his response is. he’s talking to the person he ghosted for a decade like this?
you’d like to joke around and say ‘damn sae, you’re just like an ex who slides back into your life’ but it isn’t a joke—not with him, at least. “didn’t have time to? it would’ve been better if you never had the time to. just let us go, itoshi.” the way you say his last name is deadly. he’s already been bitten by a snake once before so he knows he can survive your bite.
does he even know how much you sacrificed? did he put two and two together to realize how much he made an impact to you? so much so that at one point, anything would’ve reminded you of him.
“you’re being emotional, talk to me when you aren’t.” he says as if he wasn’t the one who started the conversation—the nerve!
“my number is the same but change the last digit to 8.” and off he goes, removing himself from your life like always.
the way you’re quietly dialing the phone that night completely destroys everything you worked for—like you’re crumbling down just for the thought that he might pick up.
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💿 MIKAGE REO is now playing… show me how by men i trust
cw : guys it’s getting too angsty for me i might cry, still a lil angst and neglect but it’s not that bad 😭, i acc wrote this one last bc i didn’t know which song to use for him (my first option was shameless by avenoir), when i was writing this… i was thinking abt melania and trump’s relationship (WE LISTEN AND WE DON’T JUDGE.), reader eats meat… anyway… so this is significantly worse than everyone elses so uhm, cliff hanger who!
“show me how you care.”
everyone keeps commenting on how lucky you are that you managed to bag a billionaire’s son and you say thanks! because that’s how you should respond. but dear God, does he even know anything about you anymore? being in a chokehold relationship with mikage corp’s heir isn’t too hard until you start questioning reo’s love for you. yeah he’s shown you how he loves you but you need more words instead of actions and a credit card.
“reo, can we talk?” you ask the purple-haired male while he’s hard at work at his desk. “i’m a bit busy right now. we can talk later, yeah? go out and use my card as an apology.” he hums before returning his vision back to whatever he was doing. it’s the typical response you were expecting but you didn’t want to use his money—you wanted to talk.
you’ve already exited the room to go to the mall anyway. you’re left eating alone at some restaurant with shopping bags being used as your excuse for some company. the steak you ordered is bland like the way reo hugs you. his touches feel empty now, every time you go to hold his hand, he doesn’t flat out reject it but he doesn’t squeeze your hand the same way you do—the same way he used to.
one thing about reo is that it seems like he hates communication and in his world, the only way he knows how to say sorry is his credit card.
he doesn’t care, does he?
when you get back to his place, he acts like he doesn’t remember the way you said that you wanted to talk. he keeps trying to put off that talk for as long as he can. it’s gotten to the point you have that stupid look on your face—cheeks being slightly puffed out with your eyebrows furrowed. reo hates the look on your face so he approaches you with caution.
“you good?” he asks but you don’t respond. “need a hug?” he just keeps talking to the point you feel like something is boiling in your head. you shake your head to say no because you’ve started to dislike his emotionless hugs—feels like you’re hugging a log with brittle twigs. how would he feel like if you gave him the same treatment he’s given you? although, it is a bit more serious because you aren’t speaking to him at all.
his time will come where you grace him with your voice one again but that’s only when he actually asks you to talk to him! in his invisible diary, he write ‘it’s been 3 days since they’ve spoken to me, i can’t see through my right eye…’ sure he’s being more than overdramatic but he can’t figure out why you’re giving him the silent treatment.
oh but little did you know, he remembers that you did want to speak with him…
“can you just speak to me, please?” the way he says please is intoxicating to you. you’re waiting.
“fine. let’s have that talk.”
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💿 ITOSHI RIN is now playing… lovers rock by tv girl
cw : unrequited love, angst, reader should go to r/aita 😭, uh kissing, this one is longer but rin isn’t even in my favs 😭
“because love can burn like a cigarette”
and it only hurts because you know you can’t have him. you’d love to kiss him right now but you understand that if you do then your whole life would probably blow up into a million pieces. it hurts so much that even if your life blows up, it wouldn’t matter. can it hurt that much to just kiss him? yes.
“oh he totally likes you!” you giggle at your friend’s flushed face after an encounter with her longterm crush—itoshi rin. she tries to shut you up in a joking manner but manages to only do so after she confesses something. “didn’t i tell you?” she asks which makes you raise an eyebrow. “tell me what?”
“…he does like me.”
wow, an arrow straight to the heart much? your expression of gloom is soon masked by raw surprise. “really?! when did that happen?” you force out a smile—to your credit, you were genuinely surprised by such because never once had she mentioned it before. “last week.” she sounds guilty, the type of guilty you’d only show your friends if you forgot to mention that you got married.
little did she know, you also had your eyes on the raven-haired man for quite some time now too. “ooh girl i’m hurt,” you start with it off with faking a shot to the heart and she laughs. “should’ve told me earlier!’ you almost fall to the ground for the effects (and also because your knees feel weak in sorrow) but refrain from doing so. “sorry, sorry! come to my house this saturday, i’ll introduce you!” she says before quickly running off to wherever.
“sure.” you whisper. walking to the nearby bathroom feels more like you’re dragging yourself to it. you can’t bring yourself to muster up the tears to cry over heartbreak because she really didn’t know you also liked rin. but the way you couldn’t even cry because now you’d feel like the asshole? you hated her.
you dreaded going to her house that saturday.
sadly, time stops for no one and now you’re here sitting in your friend’s room with rin all alone because she needed to help her mom with dinner. it wasn’t a crime to yearn for someone you couldn’t have but being with the someone you couldn’t have? someone bring you to jail already.
it’s quite awkward in the room due to the silence and both of you choosing to not speak. but being a chatterbox such as yourself, you’d soon come to regret it. “so… whats up?” you ask with caution. “nothing much. i only agreed to come because my soccer training was canceled.” he answers. you nod at his words—he looks really peaceful right now.
his black hair draping down his face, striking eyes bringing emphasis to his bottom lashes… his nonchalant expression. it’s just too much for you.
across the room.
you’re across the room from him and you hate the distance. all you know is that they both like each-other—nothing more—no labels—no launches. would doing something now really hurt more than how you’re hurting right now?
it’s quick. you were quick on your feet to get over to him, you were quick to bend down to where he was resting his back on your friend’s bed, you were quick to close the space, you were quick to move away.
rin is bewildered by your actions with no words to say. “sorry!” you apologize as fast as you dash out of the room—leaving him sitting there to question his thoughts, bringing a finger up to his lips—did his mu’s bestfriend just steal his first kiss?
“where are you going?” your friend’s mom asks aloud when she sees you dashing to the front-door. “my mom called! emergency! say that i said sorry!” those were the words you spoke before booking it out the front door.
later, when your friend comes out of the bathroom to question her mom what the commotion was all about, she just says that you had an emergency—she frowns because she really wanted you to try her cooking. after dinner, she brings rin back up to her room. just like you did hours before, she advances her moves to hover her face right above his—to give him a kiss, just like you, albeit, it’s longer and more drawn-out unlike yours.
“you’re my first kiss.” he mutters out.
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💿 OLIVER AIKU is now playing… why’d you only ever call me when you’re high? by artic monkeys
cw : SITUATIONSHIP (bleuhhh), somewhat suggestive..? (idk but be wary cause idk how to write him w/o making it smth like that), angst, aiku is an asshole (BRO everyone is an asshole here i’m crying), mention of drugs
“why’d you only ever call me when you’re high?”
your lame situationship loves calling you late at night after getting with another girl and now you’ve grown to hate when he calls you but you just can’t stop picking up his calls.
you’re jolted up awake once you hear that fuck-ass ringtone coming from behind your pillow. the screen is bright so you have to squint really hard to see what was going on, you’re on your way to decline the call when you see his name pop up but your hand slips (!) and you swipe the call. “oliver, it’s three in the morning.” you groggily complain only to be met with heavy breathing on the other end.
“oh don’t even. call me when you’re done.” you gasp, then end the call. you throw your phone to the end of your bed and slam yourself back down onto your mattress. does that man ever catch a break? why do you even like him. it’s not like you guys are really anything else so is it really worth it to hang on and only hope for something you know you won’t get in return?
you probably get a good two hour nap before you’re awoken by another phone call. “you done?” you ask, more awake now since it’s 5AM already. “hi. yeah.” his voice reverberates along his bathroom walls—he’s gross, isn’t he? “you’re gonna make me pick up another phone call just to say that?” you sound irritated, and you are because it’s such a hassle to keep up with him like this.
“dunno, just wanted to hear your voice.” he replies in a wobbly voice. is he high again? “…are you high?” you ask in concern as if this wasn’t his 54th time calling after smoking something. “maybe.” he says. “you’re hopeless. you should go to rehab, you know?” you snake your way into his mind but it’s stupid to think he can even comprehend what you’re telling him right now.
“nah, i got better things to do, ‘ya know?” he chuckles at your pitiful attempt to help him get better. he knows you know that he isn’t keen on doing such—not anymore, at least. he’s content with his life as it is. “can i…” you breathe, “can i ask you something?” you finish. “what’s up?” he’s being as attentive as he can be through this state, he trying his best.
you hate the way how out of it he sounds, yet he’s still trying to hear you out. “do you still want this?” it’s like you had something get lifted off your chest only for it to get dropped on your head instead. “want what?” great, he doesn’t understand your question. not wanting to give this opportunity up, you rephrase it. “i meant, do you still want me?”
the other line is silent for a while. “sure, i still want you.” he responds. “so stop calling me when you’re high or you’re with another girl.” you winced at your own words. he’s really taking advantage of the way you understand that you guys aren’t anything more than a “oh, it’s complicated” type of relationship and that you guys are technically still allowed to see other people—but he’s the only one actually using it.
“let me ask you this. do you still want us?”
you loathe him but you can’t help but reply with i do.
“so don’t complain about my calls.”
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thank you for reading this far :)
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