#also remember when you could format a post as a question? wish it were still here the convenience

[rorywritesjunk]

Let's be one another's present tense

Buggy ‘rescues’ you from an abusive situation, and after a less than stellar introduction, he has you audition for his crew to keep you safe. You want safety, security, and joining a circus seems like the best idea.

Rating: R-ish for now. 

Warning: Swearing, soft Buggy, sort of terrible communication but in a soft way, both of them are just a bit dumb. Kissing. Bath time for Buggy as well. Also insecure Buggy.

A/N: This story is opposite of my Kid Buggy series and I love that for myself. I'm also posting this chapter on mobile, so apologies if the formatting is weird but I wanted to get this chapter out and I'm impatient.

Title comes from “Crater Lake” by Lady Lamb. 

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 (NC-17) + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 + Chapter 14 + Chapter 15 (NC-17) + Chapter 16 (NC-17) + Chapter 17

TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @neuvilleteismybby @fluffybunnyu @sinning-23 @the-angriest-angel @ane5e @fanshavegottensotoxic @honey-deerling

Chapter 7

Honestly, confessing your feelings didn't make too much of a difference from what you two were previously doing, but now Buggy didn't wait until you were asleep to pull you into his arms, he did it when you were still awake, pressing soft kisses to your face and neck with promises of how he would keep you safe now, that he would take care of you. And you still prepared him a plate at breakfast, still made sure he ate, but now you made sure he had second helpings of his favorite food to get him through the day.

You still called him an asshole and he still called you a diva from time to time, but there was less bite to it than before.

Though sometimes you two still had arguments, mostly about your routine, which you were getting closer and closer to giving up on. Just a month after you two confessed to each other your feelings, it finally came to a head.

“You were under water for way too long!” Buggy snapped when you two were back in your room after a frustrating day. Both of you woke up late, breakfast tasted horrible, and several freaks kept messing up on their routines. Buggy was in a foul mood and you were just grumpy. You ignored him as you stripped off your wet clothes and started drying off with a towel. At this point being naked around each other wasn't a big deal.

“Four minutes!” You shot back. “I was only in there for four minutes, okay? And I'm fine!”

“No, four minutes is not okay!” He shouted. “That's too long!”

“Buggy, it's not a big deal!” You insisted as you pulled on one of his shirts to wear. You liked how they fit you and it was often your preferred item to wear for sleeping. Next was a clean pair of underwear. “I know what I'm capable of, okay? I wish you could understand that!”

“I know you're capable, I just don't like it!” Buggy snapped. “What if something happens when my back is turned, or your helper can't reach you?! I can't help you, remember?”

You crossed your arms and stared at him, worrying your lower lip between your teeth. If this was something he worried about…

“Well, why don't I just stop doing it then?” You suggested with a shrug, but when you saw the way Buggy's face fell you immediately regretted suggesting it.

“And then what?” He asked quietly. “Are you going to leave?”

That wasn't the question you expected. “What? No! Why would I leave?!”

“If you're not going to do it…”

“Then Cabaji can use me as target practice.” You sighed as you walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him. “Look, clearly this isn't working.” You silenced him with your finger to his lips before he could fuss. “The routine, Buggy. You're stressing over it and I don't want you to stress, so what if I just… take a break from it for a while and work with Cabaji? You trust him, right?”

Buggy let the suggestion soak in. Okay, you weren't going to leave, you had a suggestion, and you still got to perform, which he was happy with. And yea, he trusted Cabaji. You would be safe working with him. No risk of drowning, just maybe a stab wound if he miscalculated a throw, but Buggy could deal with that. Maybe.

“I'll tell him about it.” Buggy mumbled as he leaned into your touch. “Just… don't leave.”

“Why do you think I'm going to leave?” You asked. “I just don't want you to stress. You've been stressing about this since I started it.”

Buggy just shrugged as he pulled back from you. “I need a bath.”

“Yea, you do, stinky man.” You sighed. Bathing habits of pirates was something you were still getting used to, and Buggy seemed to prefer going days without bathing before finally giving in, and right then you were grateful. You tried to get one at least every other day, but sometimes it didn't work that way. You had thought about taking one tonight but your little argument with your boyfriend distracted you.

Buggy sat down to unbuckle his boots but you stopped him. You could see how stressed he was, that he was feeling the frustrations from the day weighing down on him, so you knelt down and did it for him, setting them aside before pulling off his socks. Yea, you were washing his clothes tomorrow, you wouldn't take no for an answer on that.

“You don't have-”

“Shut up and relax.” You told him firmly. “Today was shitty and you're about to snap, so let me help, Buggy.”

He nodded and let you be in control. You stood back up and pressed a kiss to his forehead, resisting the urge to tell him who was in charge since he often liked to say that to you, whether being serious or playful, but you didn't want to rile him up. You needed him to take it easy.

“I'm going to do laundry tomorrow, so anything you want washed, go ahead and put it in the basket, Buggy.” You told him as you leaned down to unbutton his shirt. He just nodded, shrugging it off before standing up to take his pants off next. You moved over to the tub, starting the water to get it filled up. His hair needed to get washed and brushed out, and you wanted his face clean, so you grabbed the shampoo, brush, and the makeup remover and cleanser before returning to the tub.

“I can do this myself, y’know.” He mumbled as he tossed the dirty clothes into the basket. You shrugged and stuck your hand in the water to check the temperature.

“Do you want to?” You asked. “I can go do something else.”

“No, no.” He replied a little too quickly as he walked over to the tub and climbed in, lowering himself down into the water. “Just don't want you to think you have to.”

“Well, I want to.” You told him as you grabbed a towel to kneel on as you got yourself comfy behind the tub. “Now can I wash your hair? It got in my mouth last night and… it wasn't good.”

He smirked a bit and glanced back at you. “I can always put something else in your mouth, y'know.”

You tugged on a lock of hair when he said that before reaching in to push his shoulders down to get as much of his hair wet as possible. The bath water wasn't sea water thankfully, unlike some of it that came into the tank you would be submerged in. You knew that's why he felt helpless when you were in there, he couldn't help you if something went wrong.

“Maybe once you're clean.” You shot back playfully as you made sure his hair was wet. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing. You poured some of the strawberry scented shampoo into your hand before you began to massage it into his locks, dragging your nails over his scalp gently, eliciting a moan from him. You couldn't help but giggle at the reaction, ensuring his hair was well lathered before dunking him back into the water. “Mm, you like me touching you like that, Buggy?”

“Fuck, don't ask me that.” He hissed as you wrung his hair out before letting it hang outside the tub while you grabbed a towel to dry it.

“Why?” You chuckled as you made sure to get his hair dried before wrapping it up in the towel. “You don't want me touching you?”

“I do.” He grumbled as he sat up a bit in the tub. “I'll… do the rest. I don't need you to help.”

“But I want to.” You reminded him with a frown. “Please?”

He glanced back at you, cheeks pink with embarrassment, but he finally nodded. You leaned forward and kissed his cheek before grabbing a washcloth to clean his face with.

“Can I wash your face?” You asked. “And… can I touch your nose?”

“Why?” He demanded, narrowing his eyes. You held the washcloth up as well as the remover.

“I just want to clean your face.”

“It's real, you know that.”

“Buggy, I'm just asking to wash your face.” You told him gently. “And I'll try not to touch your nose, but I may need to. That's all.”

He wasn't sure about that. For one thing, you asked to touch his nose. He was used to others just touching it in the past, not believing it to be real, wondering if it came off or even honked. Those incidents were humiliating and uncomfortable for him, and what if this was all a ruse, you wanting to see if it did anything other than sit on his face? He couldn't cope. He didn't want you to.

“I'll wash my face.” He mumbled as he looked away from you. With a shrug, you handed him the cleanser and washcloth. You got up to get him a clean pair of pants to wear to sleep in. He glanced over as you moved, wondering if you were upset now. “Maybe… next time.”

“Okay.” You found a pair and tossed it on the bed before tossing his socks and shirt into the laundry basket. “Buggy, communication is a big thing, y’know, and while I'm no expert with relationships, we do gotta communicate.”

“We do!” He insisted. “You asked me something and I said no, so we communicated!”

“I'm not saying we don't, Buggy.”

“Then what are you saying?”

You resisted grabbing one of his socks and throwing it at him. “Buggy, don't bite my head off. I'm just trying to talk to you. Why are you so defensive?”

“Why did you want to touch my nose?” He shot back. You stared at him before throwing your arms up in exasperation.

“Communicating! I asked because I know it's something you're sensitive about!” You exclaimed. “Geez, would you have rather I just touched it?!”

“No! Just…” he huffed and looked down at the washcloth and cleanser before looking back at you. “I don't want you to feel disgusted or anything, okay?”

“I'm not going to.” You assured him as you went back over to the tub. “I'm trying to do the right thing and ask first, okay, just like you ask me before doing things for me.”

Buggy sighed and handed the cleanser and washcloth back to you, which you took back before kissing his cheek. You were gentle, wetting his face before using the cleanser, massaging it into his skin before using the washcloth to clean his face. You were mindful of his nose, though your fingertips brushed against it just for a moment, making him flinch but he didn't pull away from you. Once you were done and his face was clean, you turned his head so you could kiss him on the lips.

“All done.” You murmured as you started to pull away, but before you realized what was happening, both of Buggy's arms detached and were hauling you into the tub. You couldn't help but shriek as you were suddenly dunked in the bath water. “Buggy!”

“You need a bath too, Cupcake.” He said with a smirk as he pulled the soaking shirt off of you. “Might as well conserve water.”

“You asshole.” You said, your tone playful as you shimmied out of your underwear, tossing it aside with the wet shirt. “Those were my only clean pair.”

“Eh, laundry tomorrow.” Buggy shrugged as his arms wrapped around you and pulled you against his chest. “It's fine.”

Guess you were sleeping naked tonight.

[edwinspaynes]

As a fanfic writer do you ever compare your works to others?

I've been writing fanfic for about three years. While I do read some in the fandoms I write for, I feel myself getting self conscious about my own writing. I see how good those fics are and how well they describe and portray the characters. I do like reading fics but when I try to write again I start to compare my writing to the other fics. Do you have any advice on how I might still write without comparing myself to other writers in the fandom?

I really wish I could provide you with better advice here, but I personally have always been very naturally confident in my writing. Throughout my life, the only positive thing about myself that I have felt 100% secure of is that I am a good writer. It's never been a question to me.

That being said, of course I have read fics that I believe to be better than my own!

(@vwritesaus , shoutout to you. You're the first person to come to mind.)

When I encounter these fics, beyond enjoying them, I use them as a kind of learning experience. What did the author do that I liked? Why, emotionally, did the fic resonate with me?

Once I answer those questions, I consider how I can create those feelings in my next fic. I certainly have attempted to emulate others in structure and style, and it usually yields pretty good results.

Another thing I like to do is experiment.

If you can stomach smut, take a look at my Thomastair fic Twenty Minutes. It was in my opinion a very successful experimental piece, structured in a minute-by-minute format where I had PoVs from each character during every minute of their Exciting Carriage Ride. It was a wonderful way to convey a well-rounded experience, imo, and I feel a lot more confident at showcasing multiple PoVs and working within time-based structural constraints.

Another experimental fic that I wrote more recently was my Edwin character study I Want to Snarl and Show You Just How Disturbed This Has Made Me (You Wouldn't Last an Hour in the Asylum Where They Raised Me. I think that it was also experimental, but I played with style rather than structure. Second person and present tense don't come naturally to me, but I feel like a stronger, more confident writer for having done it - and I feel more in the head of a character I frequently write, which is a definite boon.

This isn't to brag at all! The advice I'm giving is essentially "experiment in ways that intrigue you". It will make you a more confident, better-rounded writer. If you get those ideas from other fics you've enjoyed, power to you!

Writing is a very individual process. It's not universal, and what works for me might not work for you. And remember - you don't need to post everything you write! I have a TLH WIP that I chip away at that I'd lowkey die if were ever published, and I have tons of scrapped projects. Don't be afraid to try new things!

[zaydatft]

So I watched the entirely of your DnD video and I found it to be really good, however, I noticed one small irreverent error in it, when you were talking about the infamous Pinkertons you said something that was wrong, and that was the Pinkertons being involved in the enforcement of the Fugitive Slave Act, and while the Pinkertons were utterly and completely evil, I couldn't find anything in relation to it, so I was wondering what your source was given Allan Pinkerton well-known involvement on the union side of the civil war.

Hey thank you so much for reaching out and also this is an excellent question! Honestly this was completely my fault for not taking my time in the video to further clarify what I meant and is something I’d change if I could since I did kind of just throw it out there without a lot of clarification since the video was already ballooning way out of scope. See it’s a common American myth that the pinkerton’s actions where completely unmotivated by race which is a fair assessment to come to considering Allan Pinkerton was an abolitionist. Unfortunately though this is one of those ship of Theseus type conundrums.

See a lot of slave patrols including the Texas rangers once dissolved due to the civil rights act would find new work under the pinkertons a few years later (especially if you where a Scottish or Irish American but thats because of a litany of other socio-economic factors). Both on the lower grunt levels and also higher up within their ranks a lot of the core of the Pinkerton where made up of ex-slave trade Irish Americans. I really don’t blame anyone for not knowing this off hand since the pinkertons are still actively distancing themselves from this era of their formation.

So yes while factually its incorrect to say “the Pinkerton organization” was directly assisting in the slave trade, A LOT of soon to be pinkertons sure as shit where. Look into anyone who was around Allen Pinkerton and your bound to bump into some ex-slave trade boot lickers eventually. So “the pinkertons” as an organization are clean but the pinkertons as agents where often coming fresh off that era of history. I wish I had one really strong resource for this that like pulled all the names of these assholes together but unfortunately I don’t so I’ll unfortunately have to leave this post on a “do your own research cuz im a fucking clutzy bimbo YouTuber bitch who forgot to find a good resource for this claim” note. (Would make a great thesis project tho if your in college!)

remember kids-

It’s important to check the sources and discuss information on opinions even if you agree with them!!!

Thank you for taking the time to fact check me and thank you for the support!

[m0e-ru]

👀👀 also i just want to say thank you! i really got into P4 this year and finding your work only amplified my love for it. mim became like my 2nd favorite character all because of you also the stage play it really lives in my head rent free. i love your art and writings, your work has turned a special interest into an even more special one.

hi yeah I read this morning I was tearing up a bit sorrry for being an emotional baby I dont get love letters often maybe thats why im full of love . in exchange. thank yo thankyou for all the nice words it means a lot. here’s A LOT in return. with commentary because it um. was too much for the tags

okay this one was one of the drafts for my 3/20 art this year there was like. four drafts till i settled on this one then went SIKE 🏌️🏌️🏌️ you're doing the dual type ones ( the magazine ones i ended up posting )

MIDNIGHT TV STATION REAL !??? anyway here’s just shadow yukiko and iznmi interaction it’s not finished since there’s no backgrounds yet I swear there are. I did this alll the way back in feb I think and just kept polishing it bit by bit throuhgout the year and it’s STILL not done yet. the horrors came in I couldnt work on bigger pieces anymore since they wouldnt even get FINISHED anyway 💥💥💥 there’s also a s.kanji one but those are a bunch of blobs and text in shorthand mim is such a jokester asking questions n shit to twist people’s heads but yukiko’s just so sweet she really means what she says yknow like this is supposed to be the start of mim remembering what humanity is besides the mindless and selfish desires that technically gave birth to them after tearing them apart from the whole they once were. the LAST few TV stations these women were asking shit like ohhh can we hang a noose here ohhhhhhhh I want it to smell like liquor and rust and this girl was like can I have a castle !!!! can I wear a big pink frilly dress and hold a mic to push my human self’s buttons I think it could work

yeah these are my plans for the m.inaba arc for gsaslau and FUCK IM SO MAD I WAS WRITING ON THE TUMBLR EDITOR BUT IT FUCKED UP THE FORMATTING AND A WHOLE CHUNK OF TEXT IS GONE sorry this post is gonna be a lot longer than it should be okay ! gsaslau Magatsu Inaba arc. Adachi’s besties with the attendant but Mim decides they’re done with the attendant facade and erases everyone’s memories of the guy. They did a bad job at it though so Adachi’s stuck with the awareness that he has a hole in his life that could’ve been avoided if someone did a better job at cleaning up everything that reminds him of memories he’s going insane over thinking they exist when they DON’T to literally everyone else. He makes a deal with the fog to be god’s prohpet and usher in the New World as its Fool so it gives him the answer to whether or not his memories are real and worth bringing back a guy he thinks is dead. Souji tries to stop him and as much as Adachi’s trying to hide his true intentions under the guise he’s justifying himself as a bad guy this whole time, he kinda snaps under pressure that a bunch of kids are being able to stop him despite the help of a god and a world he can manipulate. Mim’s plan was to wait for his Shadow to take over so his body’s properties would be enough for him to become a vessel to manifest Ame-no-Sagiri. But THAT doesn’t happen so they did plan B: go force the power of Persona and wear it like a costume enough to hide their face to stop further awakening more memories that could throw the whole deal off. Souji recognizes that it isn’t the power of Persona so he demands god to stop using their powers through a human just to hide from something, it’s putting the guy in enough pain already. Mim agrees to leave and Adachi’s Shadow finally takes over anddd and yeah I could make a separate post about my writing I wish I had more time and energy for things

okay this one looks simple it’s likeee a manga that was supposed to be a companion piece to some writing that also didn’t get finished. so. I could share that but they’re non proofread discord messages but I promise the draft is there the context is that they’re in Okina and they try out the gacha machines. Mim’s genuinely having fun but they pull a teru teru bozu which um. remind them they’re supposed to dutiful god. like they look like a teru teru bozu. and that they’re supposed to treat this as an experiment to see humans’ true desires so they just shove it to Adachi who harmlessly relates it to them because it honestly looks stupid annd the whole tension dissipates.

here's also a bit of writing alll the way back in feb. i guess the context would be episode 13 and 14 where nanako leaves her loveline umbrella with the fox except this time she doesnt get wet since she had a pit stop at the gas station yaayy :mimyay:

The little girl left her umbrella by the torii with the fox as a gesture of her kind heart. Then she hugged the plastic bag in her arms and began to run straight home.

The rain was pouring hard! The summer wasn't as kind as her, nor would the crashing showers that would come after days of blazing heat.

Every step she took quickly became squickly and soggy as her shoes and socks were already soaked through. Her pigtails were getting heavy and her bangs almost covered her eyes. Just then, she heard a voice in the rain. But before she could look, she slipped forward.

"Ah!" Nanako gasped as she let go of the bag and braced for impact, but heard another "ah-h!" as she was quickly hoisted up with an arm wrapped around her chest, picking her up and felt another arm underneath support her. Her chin now on broad red shoulders that smelled faintly of car exhaust and gas amidst the rain.

The splashing of shoes on the wet pavement along with the crinkling sounds of a plastic bag was heard. Nanako was more worried of whose perfectly dry clothes she drenched with her sopping wet ones.

"You okay, little kiddo?" a familiar voice asked as she was gently set down on dry concrete away from the rain.

"I'm okay," she said, wiping her bangs and looking straight at the stranger in front of her.

It was Moel's gas station attendant, the one Souji works with. "Ah, you're big bro's big b--" she quickly shook her head, "I-I mean, big bro's senpai."

"Heh," the crouched man laughed weakly, it even seemed like he forced that smirk. "I work here too, y'know? Little customer."

"Oh, I'm sorry. And thank you, mister attendant."

"You're welcome, and don't worry about it. 'S not like I'm too mad about it."

An awkward air accompanied the scents of lingering exhaust from the last car and the petrichor from the rain. Although Nanako didn't feel any of this, just to say. It's always been like this with big bro’s senpai, at least how it's been with just Nanako herself. Like right now.

The man continued to crouch and adjust his hat. "Well, you're a silly girl. Why's someone with flowers all over her papers running around in the rain?"

Dunno how long, but I hope you haven't been running around like this for too long. I know you live nearby but your big bro's gonna have to take care of you if you get sick!--I mean, he'll always take care of you. He's a good kid.

If you were out long, I'm impressed how much of this you kept dry! …Just hoped you could've done the same for yourself, hehe.

Ah, but knowledge's different than wisdom, or whatever mister detective said. Hm, he even said I had neither! Maybe that's why I didn't know?

Uh…well….the fox by the shrine…. it was getting wet, so I…

Hm…

Heh, 'can see how you and that kiddo really are alike, little kiddo.

and SURPRISE !!! i found this lying around i thoughtt id add it here because youre so nice and it's so lovely to see you in my notifs all the time THIS IS A JUMPSCARE FOR EVERYONE ELSE sorrryyyy sorry

[speedane]

The Joe posting these past few days has started to get to me, to the point of me dreaming? Hallucinating? about it (thank you me for eating way too much sugar last night, 0/10 would not recommend), and my brain just... thought an entire dislyte patch about it. I am brainrotting so hard right now I need people to know the things I discussed with @murkyike and @bluntfish and put it out in the wild-

Echo

It started with me going into the Echo, and lo and behold there’s two featured espers similar to the Ife and Brewster rate up:

Joe [Psyche], *5 Shimmer 

Someone not in the game who is also a *5 Shimmer, but visually he had tentacles, an electric guitar and has a black/white color scheme (???)

It felt like absolute hell to see 2 *5 Shimmers in the banner, but at least you can pick one for guarantee pity (I chose Joe of course).

Event

The real focus of this post, there’s an event with a similar format as Desperado and Dreams Afar (so there’s the event instances and stages and a daily maze). The main character of the story is Joe, while the final boss is the other guy who was in the banner with him. I’ll summarize what I can remember in bullet form:

Story starts with Joe waking up in a room, disoriented with his surroundings with only a telecom to bring him back to reality.

Someone speaks to him from it, explaining to him that he was a part of an experiment, and he must pass through the maze in order to grant himself freedom. I’m not sure when exactly will it be mentioned that he was revived, but he gets informed about it somewhere in the story.

Joe, with having no other options, is now forced pass through trials, exercises, and interrogations as he traverse around the maze (and the mazes reflect this, from fighting stages [trials], gaining hearts [exercises], and questions [interrogations]). If he manages to survive, he is given either refreshments or first aid (I guess this is the “stamina regen” of the maze)

Along the way, Joe can ask questions regarding the experiment, but he can only ask one at a time before starting another trial. So piece-by-piece he slowly finds out what the experiment is about:

Divine Waves are similar to sound waves, and with the correct frequency it can possibly revive a dead esper.... in theory. The person wanted to test if this was possible I guess.

There were multiple attempts, and only Joe so far was successful.

The experiment is possibly done to see how long Joe could last, or if there are any adverse effects towards the revived person. This is just me speculating btw. 

Joe is still part light elf, but his very being is being held together by “something else” that is acting as his glue. Possibly the Psyche in him. 

The researcher didn’t want him dead. In fact, he wanted him to live, and wished that he could be nice to him. However, he also wanted results and data. 

At the end of the maze, Joe finally meets with the person who has been keeping him. The final trial he had to face was to beat him. (This is the Final Boss)

After Joe defeats the researcher, He was given the freedom he deserves... but also directed him to the Esper Union with an address, a phone (with the researcher’s contact number), and some allowance.

There is an Epilogue where the researcher calls for Meredith (who didn’t seemed too pleased to hear his voice) and asked for a favor. Basically, he sends Joe and his research data to the Esper Union, but Meredith has to give him observation data regarding Joe’s well-being and progress. It’s basically a weird request and the guy hung up before Meredith could ask further questions.

Basically Meredith had to wait for Joe’s arrival in the Union. Event Story ends here.

About... The Researcher

So the other event esper in the rate up along with Joe is neither affiliated with the Union or the Decree. He’s cooped into his lab/office, performing research on Divine Waves. He has tentacles that he used to operate his synthesizer and computer, while using his two hands to play his electric guitar. Man’s very weird, doesn’t seem have any motive other than research. Then again, dreams are pretty vague, but at least he was nice to Joe. I do not know what this man’s patron is but my friends suggested that it’s a sea monster (possibly Kraken). Sadly, I can’t recall anything about the boss fight. I assume his Divine Artifact is his guitar, so that’s his main weapon. He does bear similarities with Meredith, but with a more offensive kit. 

Final Thoughts

If you managed to get this far, congratulation! Pretty sad that Q wasn’t involved in any way (it’s okay, we can always come up with bounties LMAO) but it’s nice to see Joe in action even if things were blurry most of the time. I had to fill in the gaps about missing stuff obviously to make it comprehensible for everybody, and I wished this event was real now LMAO-

I’d gladly pull for a Joe esper.... but maybe please not make him a 5* Shimmer QwQ

Also might make the other guy an oc if I got enough energy... I was kinda interesting in my dream. 

[pajarinwrites]

kiss the frog ALT ENDING

hello, i am in fact alive and kicking. busier than ever as well. but since when has that ever stopped me. the busier i am the more likely i also am to start or continue funky side projects so here we are once again back in chicago. i wanted to post a teaser for this but since the end isn't in sight yet, you can have the alternative ending i wrote at some point that will now definitely not make it into the story anymore. enjoy. or not. who am i to tell you what to do.

MINGHAO X READER

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS!AU

AN: this is a mess, i'm too lazy to check the formatting i used to have on these posts.

That’s all over, you think bitterly, still turning the small blue stone between your fingers. It looked so big back then but now it fit comfortably into the palm of your hand.

You look at the stone, the way it looks plain blue in your palm but will start sparkling the second your hold it up. Maybe it’s magic, you think. And in your desperation, with all your seven-year-old faith in the inexplicable and unbelievable, you make a wish to the stone. A wish to be with your best friend again, for him to forgive you and for everything to be back to normal. Maybe if you wish hard enough, it will work. Absentmindedly, the stone vanishes into your jeans pocket as you wonder if Minghao would want it back, if he even remembers it, if he remembers he ever called you ‘his favourite’. They’re all questions you’d like to ask your former best friend, so you make a promise to yourself to ask them if you ever get the chance.

At first, you were half expecting for Minghao to come rushing over to your house soon. No matter what went wrong, mothers could always fix it. So why would it be any different now? But the longer you sat on your bed, reading manhuas or pretending to do homework, the more you started doubting that we would show up at all. Maybe you had finally discovered an issue that mothers couldn’t solve.

But of course you haven’t because just as you were ready to give up all hope, the sound of your doorbell rings. You sprint down the stairs, stopping in the entrance as your mom lets in a dishevelled Minghao. He’s red in the face and panting, as if he ran three rounds around the neighbourhood before coming here. He is also adamantly avoiding your gaze, even though he politely greets your mom with a bow and a mumbled ‘hello, auntie, sorry for disturbing you so late’.

He walks over to you, hands clasp together before him and still fascinated by the floor. You cast a glance at your mom who looks between the two of you and excuses herself into the kitchen with a small smile.

“Hi,” Minghao says in so small a voice that you have to lean in to understand him. Naturally, that leads to the two of you knocking heads together as he lifts his eyes. Both of you exclaim in pain before looking into each others eyes and giggling uncontrollably.

It takes you a moment to calm down but then Minghao finally speaks the words you’ve been wanting to hear for so long, “I’m sorry.” You’re so taken aback that you can only blink at him stupidly.

“I’m sorry,” you finally reply, “I don’t know what I did but I’m very, very sorry for it. I want to be your best friend again.” 

“Minghao smiles sheepishly, “It’s stupid,” he admits, “I’ll tell you later. But I also want to be your best friend again!”

You can’t believe that you finally found the right words. The words that lifted a two-year-old weight off your heart. The words that mended a broken friendship. The words that brought your best friend back into your life.

If you had to hazard a guess, in hindsight, it might be that the small, magical stone in the pocket of your jeans had something to do with it.

[inklingofadream]

i am actually kinda curious how my followers feel about tone indicators. Personally, i like /j and/or /s, because joking/sarcastic tone is genuinely difficult to convey, and i saw those pop up a) well before the flood of others that have come into existence b) on twitter, where shortening your indicators serves a specific and necessary purpose and c) coming from nd (primarily but not exclusively autistic) users. i find /hj for half joking kind of clunky and oblique, but don’t mind it terribly, especially in places with character limits.

pretty much everything else seems waaaay too hard to parse, and often something that could be covered by either having slightly better writing skills (not in a grammar way or anything, I think conveying, like, happiness or annoyance is not something even really new non native english speakers find particularly difficult in general) or reading comprehension skills. Marking out every use of hyperbole feels less like accommodating nd people and more like an extension of the culture where an unmarked use will get you called out for lying. I don’t think anyone is harmed by someone answering a rhetorical question genuinely, and just saying it’s rhetorical at the outset isn’t too hard to incorporate into the syntax of a question without a huge character investment (just putting, “rhetorically, xyz” is generally enough vs the frequency of using sarcasm and the investment of “being sarcastic but” or similar). Whether or not something’s sexual... i can’t think of any cases where it would be genuinely unclear, AND just replying “hey, I’m not sure how you mean this?” wouldn’t be appropriate. Like sexual comments tend to be pretty direct/blatant, and vaguer stuff is usually in a one on one context.

Honestly, I think a lot of the stuff tone indicators are being used for is more easily and accessibly accomplished other ways. emojis have been used similarly for a while, but they’re a) already widespread b) fairly language neutral. Some of the confusion that they’re meant to clear up... seems like it would be easier and more effectively dealt with by learning to communicate more effectively with other people, and asking what they mean if you don’t understand. I think that /j and /s have their uses, because “are you joking/is this sarcastic” is likely to come up often enough to be kind of a pain, and some people are going to “yes and” instead and give you a joke reply instead of a real answer. But the rest do feel like shortcuts for stuff that’s already a pretty standard part of the English language and/or online culture

But I am curious what y’all think. Are there other tone indicators you find useful? Why/when? Are there any that really drive you up the wall?

[screadingchallenge]

Behind the Keyboard: Volume 6

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.  

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

Remember, this year’s Reading Challenge begins July 15, so polish up those MFL lists.

Let’s meet our next author:

thefirstmrshummel / @thefirstmrshummel

How many fics have you written?

45 fanfics in three different fandoms – The X-Files, Glee and Schitt’s Creek

When did you publish your first fic on AO3?

I first published a fic on AO3 in October of 2012. Prior to that I posted on fanfiction.net, and my first fic there was posted November of 2010. My very first fic, Donation, was posted to Gossamer (an X-Files fanfic archive) waaaay back in 2000.

Yes, I am a Fandom Old.

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3.

I do a lot of writing in my head before I actually put words on the page. I’ll picture the various scenes, like what the characters are wearing, facial expressions, how the dialogue sounds. Then I’ll start writing from beginning to end – I’m a very linear writer, so I never skip around or write scenes out of order. I’ll usually edit when I’m done over the course of a couple of days before uploading to AO3.

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

Ugh, I’m so sad that my latest fic was back in December of 2020!  It was The Best Decorations for the Schitt’s Creek: Frozen Over 2020 Fest. [The Best Decorations]

What I loved about it – I really liked exploring how Patrick still has to fight the urge to keep secrets. I feel like if you spent as many years as he did hiding things from the people he loves in order to protect them, it wouldn’t be the sort of thing you could just stop doing on a dime. That kind of habit sticks around a long time, if it even ever goes away.  I also really love writing David being loving, compassionate, and willing to compromise with his husband.

What I could have done better – I wish I could have fleshed it out a little bit more. It tells the story I wanted it to, but I feel like it could have used more scenes, particularly with David and/or Patrick interacting with other characters and not just each other.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

Well, first of all, just do it! I remember when I posted my first Glee fic I thought no one would read it, or if they did, the comments would all say that it sucked rocks.  But my goodness, the feedback was truly amazing right from the start. It’s scary to put yourself out there (said Patrick Brewer once I think lol), but fanfic is the one writing medium where you have a built-in interest from the start.  Fans love these characters and they are often voracious for more than just what they’ve been given on screen.

The only other advice I can really give is to make sure that your story is formatted correctly and has decent spelling and grammar. You can have the best story in the world, but if it’s a struggle for people to read or understand what you’ve written it won’t get the appreciation it deserves.

Outlines - yes or no?

No – I have a general idea in my head of what I want to cover and include, but I rarely write any of it down. I’ve never done a formal outline at all.

Are you interested in writing original fiction?

Funny that you ask!  I actually do write original fiction – I have two novels, a novella, and a short story published under the pen name Laurin Kelly. They were originally published by an LGBTQ publishing house called Less Than Three Press, but they sadly went out of business in 2015.  I have self-published all of my backlist on Amazon KDP, and am currently working on the sequel to my 3rd book.

Tell me about a fic you’ve read that always makes you cry?

There are SO MANY, but for sure @blueink3’s Let Your Heart Be Light series and @nontoxic-writes’s You and My Hometown are always a guaranteed sob-fest. I am such a sucker for mutual pining and second-chance romance!

Do your IRL friends and family know you write fic?

My husband and adult daughter know about the fanfiction.  There are slightly more people who know about my original works, but I keep those pretty close to my chest as well.

What’s a fic (by any author) you love that you don’t think enough people know about?

Oooh, good question!

The Dappled with the Flickers of Light series by @yourbuttervoicedbeau​ is so amazingly written and should get all the love! Talk about a RarePair – it’s about the very non-canonical relationship between Rachel and Jake, and is my favorite take on Rachel post-The Barbecue that I’ve ever read. I would encourage everyone to give it a try – I bet you’ll get hooked after the first story! [Editor’s note: doingthemost ( @sarahlevys​) has also contributed to that series.]

[clusterfuck-misc]

AM4RUUU ASKS:

hiii! can u write general yandere Bertholdt hc? thanks!

Since these are general, I decided to make the setting when the 104th cadets were still in training. I might have to make a part 2 at some point so I can get way darker. I just feel like you can do so much with yandere Bertholdt.

Yandere Bertholdt Hoover x Reader

This is in HC format.

The reader is gender neutral.

Content warning: SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR AOT, over protective behavior, a tad bit of violence.

ARCHIVED POST. @clusterfuck-yandere IS MY NEW BLOG.

PLEASE DO NOT SEND REQUESTS ON THIS BLOG.

— The first time you two interact, he would develop a curious desire towards you.

Though he’s not posing as a victim of the Wall Maria attack to make friends, he can’t help but feel interested in you.

And that’s why he can’t keep his eyes off you.

Your first official interaction was when you found yourself on the porch with him and Reiner, watching the potato girl running laps.

“Can’t believe she’s still at it,” he remembers you commenting.

Reiner responded with one of his quips — something along the lines of her apparent passion for food — while Bertholdt opted to stay silent.

They’re supposed to be warriors; they shouldn’t be getting too close with these people.

Even so, he felt his heart flutter when you gave him a small smile before you excused yourself.

It felt so… normal?

Almost as if he forgot what he was there for in the first place…

You managed to do that with a simple smile.

He ignored the questioning look Reiner threw him as he watched your form disappear into the barracks.

— He’s very withdrawn, despite his peculiar interest in you.

He stays quiet as he watches you from afar and observes your interactions with others.

It’s rare for him to speak when around you, let alone speak directly to you.

You’ve actually brought up his reserved nature before, to which Reiner responds with the following;

“Oh, don’t worry ‘bout that. He’s just a really timid guy. He can’t even buy something at the market without sweating his ass off.”

(Bertholdt fought the urge to roll his eyes.)

You made a noise of understanding, though also voicing how you wished he would speak more.

“You just have a nice voice, y’know?”

His cheeks immediately took on a rosy while his mind stopped entirely.

Surely, he misheard you.

There’s no way you could think something like that about him.

But once Reiner clapped him on the back and said something along the lines of, “ehh, I’ve heard better voices,” he forgot how to breathe.

You think he had a nice voice.

He’ll definitely remember that.

— The next chance he gets, he tries to talk to you.

It surprised you, actually.

Not only is he not accompanied by Reiner, but he’s actually talking.

Granted, he was stammering a bit and couldn’t meet your eyes (maybe there was some truth behind Reiner’s timid statement), but he was talking nonetheless.

“I… uh… I… like this type of, uh, weather.”

You gave Bertholdt a curious glance before looking up at the stormy sky. “Yeah. It’s not too hot, but the humidity makes it not too cold. I like it.”

He nods at your words. “I… I also wanted to say… um… you did good. On the sparring field.”

You asked him if he really meant it, to which he responded with, “absolutely. You’ve really improved.

“I’m glad you think so,” you sighed with a small smile. “That Mikasa girl really kicked my ass our first hand to hand combat training session.”

Bertholdt was about to say something, but was interrupted by two voices.

“(Y/N)!! Oh, thank god!! We need your help!!” “(Y/N)(Y/N)(Y/N)(Y/N)(Y/N)(Y/N)(Y/N)(Y/N)(Y/N)—”

Immediately, Beetholdt’s coy smile dropped as his face contorted into something… unreadable.

Though you didn’t seem to notice his sudden change in expression as you looked behind you to see Sasha and Connie sprinted towards you at full speed.

When they reach you, they began to talk over each other and speak incomprehensibly.

It took a solid minute to calm them both down so you could understand what they were saying.

Bertholdt watched with a frigid expression as the two explained that Connie — or Sasha, since it depends on who’s side of the story you believe more — somehow managed to lose one of the wooden training knives in the field.

These two dimwits decided to interrupt his time with you because of a stupid training knife.

He’ll definitely remember that.

— Anyone who intrudes on his time with you is immediately dead to him.

This might be a shocking change in behavior for most people.

Bertholdt, though not the most sociable, is a nice guy who’s willing to lend a helping hand even when it inconveniences him.

And a lot of people take advantage of this.

So, imagine Connie and Sasha’s surprise when they asked for help on the next Titan anatomy test.

“Can’t,” he curtly answered.

As he walked away, the two could only stare at him in shock.

“Did… did he just…?” “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!”

There was another instance where poor Marco Bodt asked you for pointers with angling your wrist for slicing a titan’s nape.

It was so hard to pay attention to what you were saying while he could feel Bertholdt’s dark glare burning into his soul.

Needless to say, Bertholdt gave him no mercy during the next sparring session.

Reiner would congratulate his friend for finally standing up for himself, but he was really just doing it out of spite.

No one gets between you and him.

— He gets paranoid when your attention isn’t on him.

Before he gained the confidence to take to you, he didn’t really mind when you interacted with other people.

He would watch all the time as Eren would give you a high five, or how Krista would hug you from the side, or how Jean would say something unintentionally funny and make you laugh.

But now that you’ve made him feel like something — like he’s a normal cadet, not a warrior — he starts to fear the worse.

That high five lingered longer than it should’ve…

She looks way too happy to be giving you a hug…

Was that an attempt to actually make you laugh?

Because of his anxieties, he’ll start to be by your side more than he’s by Reiner’s.

You’ve started to notice how Eren’s started to give you a quick thumbs up over the high fives, now…

Krista’s seemed to stop herself every time she goes in for a hug…

God, why is Jean suddenly so nervous?

After a while, you find out it’s because of the 6’4 giant behind you with the iciest glare you’ve ever seen.

And his behavior immediately changes when you ask him what’s wrong.

It’s back to timid Bertholdt who couldn’t hurt a fly and blushes anytime you touch him.

“Uh… huh? I… I don’t know what you mean…”

Maybe you’re just imagining things…

— He’s also super protective over you.

If someone even tries to mess with you, it doesn’t end well.

Like the time Jean teased you for missing your target with the 3DM gear.

“Geez, (L/N). With this type of performance, you’ll never make top 10.”

Then, when it was Jean’s turn to practice, his gear mysteriously malfunctioned.

After being sent careening into a tree, he was lucky he didn’t get a concussion.

There was that other time when Ymir almost sprained your wrist while sparring.

He was by your side within seconds and as soon as he heard your cry of pain.

You said you were okay, and that he should go back to sparring, but the bruises on your arm made him see red.

So, when he asked Ymir if she would like to spar with him, he did not hold back.

It almost turned into a fist fight hadn’t Reiner and Armin intervened.

“Control your fucking brute,” Ymir spat out at you as Krista helped her off the training field.

Armin asked him what the hell that was about, but Bertholdt was already by your side once more, asking if your wrist was feeling any better.

In your shocked state, you could only nod.

A soft smile returned to his lips as he pulled you into a gentle hug.

“Let’s get it checked out just in case,” he voiced. “I don’t want to take any chances.”

Armin watched with Reiner as his friend ushered you off the training ground.

“I’ve never seen him act like that,” Armin said in awe.

Reiner’s gaze hardened.

“Neither have I.”

[kass-storycorner]

I really loved your ghost fic with Xiao. But it left me curious to have a second part in which they finally find the way to communicate. Whenever is just to say goodbye and having reader going to the afterlife or getting stuck there forever in an eternal solitary pseudo-company together is up to you, I just want to see them talk 😭

awww, thank you! I'm so glad you loved it (though I am sorry for the sad feelings haha). And I was really struggling to find a way to end that orginal story in the beginning, which is the reason why it ended that way oops. Well, now here is the follow up for it. Compared to the small bit I wrote for Xiao... I mean not even compared to it, this is the longest fic I've posted on here so far? Ah, well. I just had so much fun with it.

Idea/Prompt: a follow up to Xiaos part in this post

Genre: a bit of Angst and Hurt, more comforting than the first part, but if the ending is a happy one is up to you!

Characters: Xiao (Zhongli as side character, mention of Hu Tao, Verr Goldot, a new character I made up that did not get a name)

Format: Text

Word count: 5593

Content warning: mentions of blood, spoiler-y for the second act of Zhonglis story quest and the same spoilers warnings as for the OG post! this is not proof read, I started writing this at midnight and its 5am now ahha fml

The Ghost of you Part II. - To the end

yes we are keeping the mcr names

“Xiao”, he felt an uneasiness in his body upon hearing his name. Where was he? Looking around, Xiao saw he stood in a field of flowers. When did he come here? He had no recollection of it at all. Confused he furrows is brows, worry filling his heart and then- “Xiao.” There it was again, that voice calling out to him. Speaking his name softly, voice filled with affection. Where did it came from? He walked around the field, no end of it in sight, looking for that voice calling out to him. The longer he searched for it, the more his heart was filled with dread. “Xiao.” This time the voice came from behind him and when he turned around, he saw you, holding your hand out to him and smiling. “(Y/N)”, Xiao looked at you in disbelief. Was it really you standing in front of him? Your laugh pulled him out of his trance. “Xiao, why are you standing there like a pillar? Come, take my hand,” and at that you wiggled it a bit, signalling him that you're waiting for him to take it. “(Y/N),” Xiao repeated, standing still and looking at your hand, then to you. “What are you doing here?”. Again, you laughed as if what he said was the silliest thing you ever heard. “What do you mean by that? Xiao,” you shook your head and then you shoot him a bright, warm smile. “You wanted to come here, remember? Now come, take my hand and dance with me before the music stops.” Dance? Music? At first Xiao did not understand what you meant, but then he heard it. In the distance, the low sounds of a flute, a sweet melody that sounded strange but all too familiar. “Xiao”, he heard you whisper his name, speaking so gently. Slowly, he was still a bit hesitant, he reached out for your hand, taking it in his. A smile came across your face at the touch of your hands. With a swift motion Xiao was pulled into your arms, you both at first staying still in that embrace. “Xiao, lets dance, okay?”. With that you both started to waltz around the field, Xiao not knowing how he knew to dance like this, but somehow, he did. The dread that started to spread in his chest earlier was now gone, replaced by the feeling of love he felt for you. Still, there was something tugging at his mind, telling him something was amiss here. It felt familiar, yes. However, it also seemed to be strange to him at the same time. Though Xiao tried to push the nagging feeling away, wanting only to enjoy this pleasant moment with you. Which is why he at first didn’t notice how the sky darkened above them nor that the music had stopped a while ago. As you both stopped to dance, still holding each other in your arms, he heard you call out to him again. “Xiao”, the sound of your voice was filled with pain and when he looked at you in his arms the light behind your eyes was gone, your face stiff and emotionless. At the sight of your dead eyes, he wanted to part from the embrace, but he couldn’t let you go. Xiao saw the blood, saw the bruises and suddenly he was on his knees again, you are laying in his arms. He wanted to cry, wanted to say your name but he couldn’t. It was as if there was no air to breath so he could speak. And then – “Xiao.” His name. “Xiao.” Again. “Xiao.” Over and over again he heard how his name was spoken, but with every whisper of his name the voice became more distorted, louder. Until he cowered in pain at the sound of it, wanting it to stop, wishing for it to stop. “Xiao”.

With that Xiao woke up, his body covered in cold sweat and his breathing erratic. Another nightmare of you, another nightmare of something he wished the both of you could’ve done but never did – because of his shortcomings. Xiao sat atop of a rock, looking over the forest in which your ghost continued to wander aimlessly around. He had been watching you for a few weeks now, trying to figure out what kept you here and how he could help you. However, Xiao was clueless at what could be the cause of this. It was clear to him now that he couldn’t help you, he needed to find someone who could. Looking down at the forest, seeing your ghost wander around between the trees, he softly whispered. “I will be back soon, I won’t leave you again for long, I promise.” There weren’t many people Xiao could ask for help. Back when you were alive Xiao wasn’t the most social, wanting to keep his distance from humans. After you died this habit of his, avoiding others, only worsened. So, the only person Xiao could think of to ask for help in this matter was the same who saved him from his servitude as a bloodhound. Zhongli spend most of the last hundred years among the people of Liyue, but for a few decades now he lived in a remote house. It was now the door of said house Xiao knocked on, knowing that although he could easily enter the house, Zhongli preferred it for him to knock. “Ah, Xiao, it is nice to see you,” Zhongli greeted the adeptus. As Xiao entered the house and followed the tall man into his kitchen, it was a standard practice of Zhongli to drink a tea with anyone who visited, he couldn’t stop to notice that the notebooks scattered around the house grew in number. “So,” Zhongli began his question, “what brings you here? From your troubled look I can tell you didn’t come for the tea or my company.” With that Xiao didn’t waste any time on more formalities, explaining his predicament to the former Geo-Archon. “Mmmh, I see,” he replied, taking a sip from his cup. “I fear I might not be much of help in this case, although I have some knowledge on the topic of the human afterlife, I can’t think of a solution to this. However, it might be best to go ask Hu Tao on advice, as she is way more… let’s say, perceptive when it comes to the dead.” How bothersome, Xiao thought at the mention of Hu Tao. “Zhongli, Hu Tao is long dead”, was all Xiao could say. It happened more frequently now that Zhongli seemed to forget things, small ones but also important pieces of information and this filled Xiao with unease. He didn’t like it that the erosion of Zhongli already was set in motion, thinking about that one-day Xiao might have to face him in battle should he lose all sense of self and sanity. Neither did Zhongli enjoy slowly losing his memories of the past – although he wrote down as much as possible, it bothered him that he had to even rely on his notebooks. “Ah,” Zhongli replied, setting his cup down on the table and with a troubled look, “I seem to have forgotten something again. Would you please help my memory, when did this happen?” “One thousand years might have already passed,” Xiao saw how much it stirred Zhongli up that he had forgotten the passing of a friend. “She had a good life, right? I’m sorry for asking, but I somehow can’t seem to remember much about her later life.” “Yes,” Xiao answered, thinking about the 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. There weren’t many humans he tolerated or even enjoyed being around, but Hu Tao was one Xiao always was fond of. She was also the one at the Parlor that day you died, when Xiao came in with your dead body in his arms, he hoped he might find Zhongli maybe he could do something about it, but… Xiao knew there was nothing anyone could do. Hu Tao understood his pain, without a word she showed him where to put your body and prepared your funeral, without even asking for a single Mora. “Then, “Zhongli pulled Xiao out of his thoughts, “maybe you might find help with the new Director, her family always had some knowledge about that human afterlife that’s even a mystery to me.” With that

Xiao said his goodbye to Zhongli and made his way to Liyue. The city of Liyue changed over the last thousand years a lot, but the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was still one of the constants in the city. Xiao couldn’t remember the last time he visited the city, though it must have been a few hundred years ago for sure. He just never really liked it and since, what the humans called a ‘industrial revolution’, the city was even more crowded and overwhelming for Xiao. “Welcome to the Wangshen Funeral Parlor, how may I help you?”, a young person greeted Xiao as he set foot into the building. At the enthusiastic way the person greeted him as he entered a funeral home, Xiao was sure this was one of Hu Taos descendants. He barley could imagine anyone else be so happy surrounded by death. “Are you the director?”, Xiao asked in his usual stern voice. “The 107th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, yep that’s me!” “I may need your assistance.” “Wonderful, I’m always happy to help- oh well, not happy as I am happy for your loss, my condolences by the way, but in happy as I am happy that I can be of help. So, what do you need help with? We have some wonderful new coffins out of a wonderful wood, really they are also very comfortable, not that comfort is that important for someone who’s dead, but I thought it might be also of interest to say that they are really comfort-“, ah yes, Xiao thought, definitely related to Hu Tao. “I don’t need a coffin”, he interrupted the young director. “Oh, um… what can I help with then?”, they asked and then Xiao explained everything to them. At first, he wasn’t sure of the director would be of help, most humans have long forgotten the existence of the gods and adepti, as most of them died or lived a life among humanity, but sure enough the director did turn out to be well versed with the forgotten knowledge of the world. “So, you say the ghost is just roaming around those woods? Nothing else happens?”, the director asked, sitting in their chair in the back office of the Parlor, and they had their hand on their chin, looking like they were thinking about something “Will you be of help now or why do you keep repeating the same useless questions?”, Xiao became a bit impatient now. He just needed to know if someone was able to help you. Without even answering the question the director stood up from the chair and walked towards a bookshelf, pulling a big and old looking book out and opening it up on the table. “Mmmh, from what you’ve described it seems to be nothing to grave, they don’t seem to have become an evil spirit just yet, moreover it seems like they are just one who got lost, though it is surprising that after such a long time the spirit didn’t just turned into something malicious. Normally for most human ghosts it takes a few hundred years until they go insane and well, you know all too well what then happens with an evil spirt I guess.” Xiao was aware what happened to the evils in the world, because it was mostly him. Though he didn’t like to think about it what it would have meant if you- no, he didn’t even want to finish that thought. “How do I help them?”, he didn’t care about any of the other information, he just wanted to find a way to help you. The director pointed at a passage in the book in front of them and continued. “What we have to do is easy if you think about it, I just need something that belonged to the deceased they held dear, a few materials like Qingxin flowers, around twenty should be enough, and the next part is more tricky if you don’t know the deceased that well, which shouldn’t be a problem here, but we need to, well you need to, speak some words that you know are important to them. A story or something like that, sometimes even the voice of a loved one is enough to help to guide the spirits back. Though I will definitely have to accompany that spirit to the border, just to make sure it won’t happen again, you know getting lost, because I can’t guarantee this method will help a second time.” Xiao was quiet. Something that belonged to them, when the director said

those words, his hand immediately flew up to the necklace with the small pendant he wore. Xiao wasn’t the most adept with words, he rather enjoyed listening to what you had to say to him most of the time. He enjoyed the sound of your voice; it was so much more pleasant than his own. One day, Xiao still remembers it so well, your voice said something he did not expect for you to say. “Xiao, I love you.” It took him by surprise, standing on the balcony of the Wangshu Inn, watching the night sky… he suspected that you liked him that way, he did too. Oh, but how he hoped that you wouldn’t say anything about it, like he planned too. Your openness scared him. The idea of being loved scared him, for what was there to love about him? He didn’t want to be a burden to you, his karmic debt, his burden – he feared it would all just make you hate him one day if he let you see it all. That night, after you said these words, Xiao disappeared without a word from your sight. He wasn’t far away, but he wished back then that he teleported out of his hearing range. The sobs that came from you after his departure broke Xiaos heart. After this he avoided you, which wasn’t too hard because you did the same thing too. But with every day that passed when Xiao didn’t see you, hear your voice, his heart grew heavier. Asking himself if he really did do the right thing. Verr Goldet approached Xiao a few weeks after your confession, inquiring why now you didn’t come to the Inn anymore. Xiao did not answer her question, but Verr was a smart woman and at the look in his eyes she understood. “Don’t give up someone you love, only because you are scared of the love you both feel for each other, Xiao”, was all she said. This was the final push for Xiao to finally get over himself and embrace the feelings he felt for you. He didn’t know anymore where the idea came from, but he decided to gift you a handmade necklace along side his confession. Xiao was scared that it might be too late for telling you that he felt the same. However, he knew he had to do it and he wanted to give you something that showed you how he felt too. So Xiao collected the material all around from Liyue, creating a metal necklace and using a small piece of Cor Lapis, your favourite you told him once, as the pendant. With that he looked for you, finding you sitting in the middle of a flower field. “(Y/N)”, he said, stopping himself from continuing when he saw how you jumped at your own name. “Xiao! You scared me!”, you quickly stood up and turned around to him. Xiao wasn’t the most adept with words, he enjoyed listening to you – but you stayed quiet after facing him and you kept quiet when Xiao came closer. “I-“, he began, but unable to speak the words he so wished you to hear from him. Instead, he took your hand and put the necklace in it. “I- I made you this,” was all he could say, feeling how fast his heart pounced in his chest. The look in your eyes, Xiao saw the love you felt for him in them. “Xiao, I-“, he saw how you viewed the necklace in your hand, tears starting to form at the corners of your eyes. Before you were able to finish the sentence or let the tears fall down, Xiao took your face in his hands and kissed you. Yes, he wasn’t the most adept with words, but he learned that he could show you how much he loved you in other ways.

From that day on you wore that necklace every single day, never taking it off since Xiao but it on you after the shared kiss. You joked that it was a physical representation of your love for each other, though Xiao felt like you actually meant it. And somehow it really was. Xiao remembered how that necklace was still around you neck when he took your body to Hu Tao, he remembered that it was covered with your blood. He didn’t even think about taking it off you. It was Hu Tao who gave him that necklace after your burial and since then he hadn’t taken it off. It was the last thing he had of you, the last reminder of your love for each other and every night after your death, when he cowered in pain because of his karmic debt, the cool touch of the stone on his skin helps him to stay sane. Just like the flute he heard even long before he met you.

When Xiao and the director arrived at the forest, they collected the flowers on their way, he could see your ghost again. Walking around, calling for him. His heart breaks every time he had to witness your suffering. “Okay, we have the flowers… do you have something that belonged to them with you, Xiao?”, the director asked, and Xiao shifted his focus from you to them. Slowly he took the necklace off, feeling somehow so vulnerable without it, and gave it to the director. “You know where they start their walk and end it right?”. Yes, Xiao knew that. He had watched over your ghost for the past couple of weeks and noticed that you were walking in circles, without even knowing so it seemed, starting from the place you died and ending up there again. Although your body was buried in another part of Liyue and already long gone, taken back by nature, you stayed here. Where you died. Xiao wished he had come here earlier. Together with the director Xiao made his way to the place where your life ended and your endless suffering in a sort of limbo started, laying down the flowers and the necklace. “And how is that supposed to help them now?”, he asked, not sure how any of this will work. “Like I said, we put down something that belonged to them and was important because they will gravitate to the feelings still connected with that object. The flowers are helping, because they built a bridge between the living realm and what state they are in. Now we just need some words that they have a connection with, in the past it used to be certain prayers because people kept using them a lot, but you know it honestly doesn’t matter what you say, it just needs to be connected to them in some way. Maybe their favourite story or a lullaby, there are many possibilities.” “A lullaby, huh,” this was something Xiao hadn’t thought about in a long time. “Xiao, are you alright?”, he heard your voice from across the dark room. It was the middle of the night, normally he would be out killing monsters, but for tonight you were able to make him sleep with you. When you found out that he never sleeps you were shocked, though he tried to calm you saying that an adeptus didn’t need to sleep. “Maybe you don’t need to,” you told him with a stern look, hands on your hips, “but it will be good for you too, believe me!”. And somehow, after each of you confessed the feelings for the other, you were able to make him sleep next to you some nights. Just for that night his karmic debt plagued Xiao. He sat in front of your window, trying to keep his distance from you, not wanting to disturb your sleep and he didn’t want to worry you. “Xiao?”, you asked again, but instead of an answer Xiao growled in pain. Suddenly you were beside him. “Don’t”, he said through gritted teeth as you tried to touch him. “You’re in pain, let me help you.” He saw your worried painted face, ashamed that you had to see him like this. “It’s fine, I’m used to it. Don’t worry.” “Don’t tell me not to worry when I see the person I love most suffering,” and with that you took his hand. “Please Xiao, let me help you.” Even when he wasn’t in such a weakened state it was hard for Xiao to refuse you and now – all he wished for was your comforting touch. You led Xiao back to bed and when you noticed how he had a fever you quickly prepared a cold and wet towel for him. As you both lied down in bed you took Xiao in your arms. “I don’t know if this will help,” you began after a short amount of silence, “but when I was a child my mother always used to sing this lullaby to help me fall asleep. She even continued singing it when we were older and got sick… it always helps me feel better and at ease, shall I sing it to you?”. Xiao only gave a small nod, not believing it would help when you sang that song for the first time. But it did, you soothed his pain and helped him fall asleep. From that night on you would sing it more often to Xiao, he never asked for it but you somehow always knew when he wished to hear it, especially on the nights when is karmic debt caused him great pain. That lullaby became

another sign of how much you loved each other – the necklace was Xiaos gift, the song yours.

Now there he stood, in this forest that once was just a plain field, the flowers and necklace to his feet singing that lullaby. Xiao never sang it when you were alive, he never sang at all. No matter how much you begged him to sing for you, this was something he always refused to do. Thinking about how beautiful your voice sounded, he never wanted to soil this song with his voice.

It felt like you screamed for Xiao for hours and hours on end, but your voice doesn’t hurt. Where were you? What had happened? In your head you repeated and repeated the last things you could remember again and again. You were walking in the fields, wanting to collect some crystal flies for a commission. Then you remembered that you were attacked, who or what attacked you slipped your mind. However, the fight was tedious and hard… and then you called for Xiao. That’s it. That’s all you could remember. But where was he? Where was Xiao? Didn’t he say he would always come when you called out for him? Why didn’t he come now? You feared that he was still angry with you, though you didn’t know anymore why he even should be angry with you in the first place. The two of you had a fight yes, but… was that it? You spend so much time apart, did he just decide you weren’t worth his time anymore? Did he maybe stop loving you? Those thoughts filled you with dread and you wanted to cry, cry at the thought of Xiao not loving you anymore, but somehow you couldn’t. So you kept calling for him, over and over again. “Xiao,” you screamed. “XIAO!” And then you heard something, at first you weren’t sure what it was, but there was a noise. You stopped calling out for him, trying to focus on where the sound came from, following the direction. It got louder and – was that Xiao singing? The closer you came towards the sound, towards Xiaos voice singing that lullaby… your mothers’ lullaby, the lullaby that became yours and Xiaos. Which he always refused to sing, no matter how much you pleaded. The closer you came you started to remember the things that happened more clearly. How you didn’t want to call for Xiao at first that day, how something hit you in your stomach and how you felt the blood gusher out of you. Yes, you remember how you couldn’t stand anymore and all that was on your mind was Xiao, you wanted to see him again. Just once. You wanted to tell him how sorry you were, how stupid it was for you to fight and how stupid it was to wait this long to call for him. You wanted to say this to him, all of it. But all you remember you said was his name. “Xiao.”

He stopped singing, his head flying up seeing your ghost stand right in front of him. His name. You just said his name. “Xiao,” you said it again, this time he heard you say it clearly and you looked right at him, not through. “(Y/N)”, it came more out as whisper. This is what he wanted. He wanted you to see him, to get out of that limbo, but why does it still hurt as much? “Ah, seems like it worked, great!”, the director interrupted the moment, looking at Xiao and the ghost of you. “I ummm- I’m gonna leave the two of you alone for a while, so you can talk things out, say your goodbyes, yadayadayada.” With that the director walked away and it was just you and Xiao.

“I-“, Xiao began, but somehow his voice failed him. What was there to say? What should he say? “Xiao,” he heard the hesitance in your voice. “Xiao, I am dead, right?”. He couldn’t stand looking at you, his eyes avoiding yours as he gave his short answer. “Yes.” “I see,” you replied quietly. You slowly started to remember the nights you stood on the field, waiting for him to come. “Why,” you weren’t sure if you wanted an answer to your question, “why didn’t you come? After, you know… I- I waited for you. I called you. Why-?”. “I felt guilty. It was my fault, if I just hadn’t tried to push you away again, then you wouldn’t have died, I’m so sorry,” his voice was so quiet, but you could hear how he tried to hold back the tears. “Xiao,” at hearing his name again he looked back at you, you now seeing the tears that pooled at the corner of his eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you… and I should have called for you earlier. But Xiao,” you saw how the tears started to fall down his face, “it wasn’t your fault.” He couldn’t hold it in any longer, Xiao fell to his knees, hands in his face and crying. “Please,” he sobbed. “Please, forgive me. I should have protected you that day, I should have come here earlier and see what was happening… please, forgive me.” You walked towards Xiao, reaching out your hand, wanting to touch him. Wanting to take him in your arms, but you couldn’t. It broke your heart. “Xiao, please, please look at me,” he did, his eyes red and filled with his tears. “There is nothing to ask for forgiveness for, you did nothing wrong Xiao. It’s alright. I’m sorry for leaving so soon, for running away that day we had this stupid fight. I don’t even know what it was about…”. “I don’t know either”, Xiao admitted and somehow you had to laugh a bit at that. None of you ever remembered why you fought even in the first place, all of this nearly felt so normal. But it wasn’t. Xiao wiped away the tears from his eyes and stood up again, this time to be able to face you. You looked just like he remembered, except for the see-through part but… your smile hasn’t changed. Even if this was a sad one. “Xiao, how much time has passed since I died?” That question surprised him. “Around…”, he was hesitant to tell you the truth. Should he really tell you? “Xiao,” and you looked at him and he knew that he couldn’t hide the truth. “A thousand years perhaps.” Thousand years, you thought. For thousand years he walked around with this guilt, for thousand years he kept that necklace that still was on the ground… for thousand years he lived his life, still mourning you it seemed. “Did you get over me?”. Again, another question he didn’t expect. Why were you asking him this? Did he get over you? “No, every single day since you died you were on my mind, I couldn’t forget you and I do not wish to. I can never get over you.” This wasn’t the answer you hoped for. “Xiao, I’ve been dead for thousand years. Even if I hadn’t died that day, I would have died on another one. Thousand years compared to what, sixty? Maybe seventy years if I had lived a full life is nothing. Humans are weak after all, aren’t we?”. You didn’t mean to stir him up with your last comment, it was more intended as a joke, alas a sad one, but somehow you struck a nerve within him. “No, they are not. I always said that, but I was wrong (Y/N). I don’t understand how you human can live your life, knowing that you will die, that those you love will inevitably die. How you can idly sit next to people you care about forgetting important things, things about themselves, struggle to remember who they are, seeing them die… and you move forward. I watched over you humans for such a long time, protecting you and I still- I don’t understand how. How can they love again? Where does the strength come from to keep moving forward?”, Xiao’s voice was full of pain, you heard it clear as day, seeing how tears rolled down his face again. You felt that there were even other things weighing heavy on him, not only you, but you knew that you couldn’t comfort him. That this was

something he needed to figure out himself. “Xiao, you will learn. You will understand it one day, it just takes time.” Your voice heavy with sadness and oh, how you wished you could take him in your arms, wipe his tears away and kiss him.

Before Xiao could reply anything in return the director disturbed the two of you again. “So, are you ready now?”, looking directly at you. “No, but I stayed here for far too long now, didn’t I?”, a sad smile coming across your face. You really didn’t want to leave, but you knew you couldn’t stay any longer. It was time. “I will come with you as far as I can,” Xiao had wiped his tears away and stood now right next to you. If you still had a body your shoulders would touch.

Xiao and the director accompanied you to the border of life and death in silence. Before you crossed it you looked at Xiao. He looked so sad, as if he was to lose you a second time. “I wish,” you heard him say, “that you could stay just a bit longer. I know it’s selfish, but I just wished you could have stayed by my side forever. But you can’t stay, and you shouldn’t.” “Xiao, I feel the same. I wish I could have spent eternity with you, but I can’t and it okay. I just want to ask you for one thing, one last promise before I go, okay?”. Xiao looked at you with a heavy heart. “Yes.” “Promise me you will try to find happiness for yourself again, okay? Promise me you will love again, please. Don’t stay alone.” Silently Xiao looked at you to then finally say “I promise.” “Thank you Xiao,” Archons, you wished you could take his hand. “Now then,” you said looking in the directions you had to go. “Time to go.” “(Y/N)”, you heard Xiao say before you left. “I love you.” “I love you too, Xiao.” As Xiao and the director left the border, he stayed quiet, the atmosphere being quite sombre. “Maybe,” the director pulled Xiao out of his thoughts, “there is nothing behind the border and they stopped existing completely. But maybe their soul will now find a way back to you, just in another way? Who knows,” and with that the director left. Xiao didn’t know if he believed that you would find a way back to him, but as it started to rain and as it fell down on his skin, Xiao felt now lighter as if a heavy burden was taken off of him. With that he started to move forward again.

[marahuyos]

anon asked: Hi I really liked that hc with the pointing lips, I didn’t expect to see this on the tag list and my filipino heart couldn’t contain it 🥺 this is my first time requesting for a genshin fanfic heheh. I want to request a hc something to do with Harana, where the characters (albedo, Diluc, kaeya, maybe xiao 👀 and other characters you would like to add) sing from your window to persuade/court you since it’s part of (our) S/O culture so they wanted to impress them with this... IKSNSJS

*:･ﾟ✧ nakilig ako dito putaena AHAHAHAHHA

doing this quickly bc i wanna do it b4 windblume ends sksks. also i’ll go and link some songs fitting for the characters (all filipino ofc. spoilers its all ben&ben HAHAHAHAHA)!

gn!reader

tw: none

✧ Diluc Ragnvindr | Ben&Ben - Araw-Araw

Umaga na sa ating duyan 'Wag nang mawawala Umaga na sa ating duyan Magmamahal, o mahiwaga

• It’s apparent that Diluc can sing since he won first place in the music minigame. He was taught at a young age on playing and dabbling in the arts like any other young noble should. It comes as no surprise that Diluc knows how to sing and play.

• It was you who had to tell Diluc this tradition when the Windblume Festival hits. When hearing the prospect of reciting poetry to your loved ones, you immediately got excited, which made Diluc question your sudden excitement.

• “Back where I’m from, there’s a tradition where a person will sing to their crush if they want to court them. It’s usually underneath a window sill but either way, I do want to experience it at least once!”

• He imprints the sight of your soft smile at the memory of the tradition. He thinks back on his time learning music as he cleans a beer glass. He’s not a bad singer by any means (ngl i thought diluc was voiced by jonah scott bc hoo boy he sings. but imagine my surprise when he was voiced by mishima skks). He can definitely carry a tune but would he risk his entire dignity by singing under your window sill with a song that he barely knows?

• If Kaeya wasn’t there, then maybe. Maybe.

• So he opts for the next best option; serenading in a private and romantic place. It wouldn’t be the Dawn Winery, there is too much traffic to try and attempt to sing. Windrise is an option but Diluc knows that the sisters of the church comes and cleans the statue (and Barbatos knows that he doesn’t want Barbara to faint from his voice). His next bet is Starsnatch Cliff, where numerous Cecilia flowers are littered across the cliff. 

• With that plan, he now attempts to memorize a song from your country. Diluc’s a fast learner, so he has no trouble learning the notes, the lyrics (though his pronunciation leaves little to be desired), and finally, the emotion carried through the music. Now that’s where he struggled since he doesn’t know how to convey emotion compared to other musicians. He tries his best, even asking Venti for help (enrolled is what Venti would use but at least he was paid with the best alcohol).

• Now to actually play the damn thing. He already struggled when inviting you out to Starnsatch Cliff (and bribing the couple that was there away), he hopes that his fingers wouldn’t twitch from nerves. It was when he began strumming his guitar that he realized something: there was no point in proving that he can sing. There was no point in learning a different language when there were many other different things he could’ve done to impress you. There was no need to potentially embarrass himself.

• But it was worth it when he sees your wide-eyes, your parted lips, and the warmth on your cheeks when he leans in closer. It’s worth it to see your eyes shine just like the stars in the sky when you understood the lyrics. It was worth it to see you say the words that Diluc longed to hear from your lips as he sealed them with a kiss.

Dawn has come within our cradle I pray you never fade Dawn has come within our cradle I love you, my ethereal

✧ Albedo | Ben&Ben - Ride Home

Took a morning ride, found a place up in my mind, no one else can see Maybe it's fate that we lose control In circles around, we go We become who we ought to know We just gotta let it go We just gotta let it go

• I think it’s safe to say that everyone knows Albedo can sing when his VA posted him singing. He can carry a tune and play decently on the strings. It’s just that he closes himself off in his research in Dragonspine all the while the Windblume Festival is in full swing. It’s not like you to leave someone behind while everyone is celebrating so you stand by Albedo for the duration of the festival.

• He says that you didn’t have to keep him company, more so if you don’t know anything about alchemy, but you were adamant to not leave the alchemist alone. Albedo can’t help the warmth fluttering in his heart that you wanted to stay with him. He wanted to try and teach you basic alchemical stuff so you wouldn’t feel bored or left out but he feared the shakiness in his voice would hinder him.

• So, you two talk about each other instead. While Albedo didn’t have anything noteworthy to talk about, you said to him about how you wished you can partake in the music game in hopes to play a love song. You told him that you wanted to try and sing a love song to your crush since it was a tradition in your country. While he bristled at the fact that you have a crush, the way your eyes flitted towards him, with a wavy smile on your face solidified his feelings for you.

• Having that information in mind, he quickly makes a harp out of the materials he has on hand. Such a feat is nothing to Albedo but it wasn’t the music that he was afraid of, it was giving his feelings away to you so suddenly. Learning a new language wasn’t so hard (because he learned it when he immediately realized he had feelings for you, what’s stopping him from learning everything?), but he fears that you may take it the wrong way.

• Or rather, he fears that he may do something he regret towards you.

• But he perseveres. When you were up sitting on a rock formation, studying a rare flower, Albedo stood below you, harp in hand. The sight of him, his beautiful eyes that were used to be so sure are now nervously flitting from side to side. His voice was carried out to the wind, deep and soothing just like the winds that caressed your skin. Albedo is nothing short of nervous but he was sure that he had his point across when he sees your blushing smile.

• All fears vanished when you jumped down a giggling mess, saying that this was the best Windblume Festival ever when you leaned in and kissed him.

So I'm coming home to you, ooh You, ooh You're all I need, the very air I breathe You are home, home

✧ Kaeya Alberich | Ben&Ben - Pagtingin

‘Pag nilahad ang damdamin Sana ‘di magbago ang pagtingin Aminin ang mga lihim Sana ‘di magbago ang pagtingin

• Kaeya won’t deny that he’s just as musically inclined as Diluc. As siblings, they’re naturally competitive against one another, always competing to see who can play the better piece. He wishes he could go back to those days, but bygones are bygones. Now, he strums his harp just for fun. Still, he’s not one to serenade to random strangers so it’s a first time for him to be laying his heart out in the open.

• Kaeya, like a responsible captain, steals you away and joins in the festivities with you with an arm around your waist. Reluctantly, you humored him, as you recount previous stories that you’ve experienced. One particular story that he keeps in memory was when you were serenaded once in your own bedroom window. While you had to turn down the one courting for personal reasons, you can’t help but feel warm whenever you remember the memory. Ever since hearing the bards’ sing their songs for the festival, you can’t help the flutter in your heart.

• Now, Kaeya is a very adaptable man, so he quickly thinks the best way on how to confess to you. Sometimes he has to curse himself from being so successful at flirting at absolutely everyone that he knows you could pass it off as being Kaeya. So he figures out the next best thing.

• Now, unlike Diluc, he’s willing to throw away his dignity for you. He’s willing to throw anything away from you because you were already so etched deeply in Kaeya’s heart.

• He’s a fast learned like Albedo, so it wasn’t hard to learn your language and do the correct pronunciation. All that’s left is to sing it and where. He hopes he could sing it underneath your balcony but you lived near the Cat’s Tail Tavern, where the noise has been raucous in this time of year.

• So he decided on going to the safety of your home, “drunkenly” stating that he was too sloshed to go back to his duties so he wishes to stop by your home until he sobers up. It wasn't an uncommon sight to see, so you relented Kaeya in resting on your couch as you prepared some water for him to sober up. At that moment, he prepares his act. 

• With his guitar in hand, he stands up and meets you in the kitchen. With his fingers elegantly strumming against the strings, his silky voice permeated across the house. His one eye watched your own widen at the sight of the man singing. He relished it even more when he sees the recognition in your eyes when you know the song that he's singing. Each lyric has been beautifully sung and amazingly enunciated that you wondered if Kaeya was a native to your homeland. 

• Kaeya wasn't normally a sap like this. He doesn't just do this to anyone. He even wonders what's the point of this when he doesn't even know that you'll accept him for who he truly is-for what he will do when things go awry. He recounts the words of a bygone father and he feels every ounce of sin he’s committed claw his back.

• But your gentle touch sends them away. Your hands burn the sins to ashes as you told him your ‘I love you’ in your language. And he understood it perfectly.

If I reveal just how I feel I hope you won't change how you look at me Admit all secrets I keep I hope you won't change how you look at me

✧ Xiao | Ben&Ben - Kathang Isip

Pasensya ka na Sa mga kathang isip kong ito Wari'y dala lang ng pagmamahal sa iyo Ako'y gigising na Sa panaginip kong ito At sa wakas ay kusang lalayo sa iyo (lalayo sa)

• Could Xiao even sing? Guizhong may have instilled some Liyue music in his veins when he was still a baby adeptus, she may have pulled her hair out once or twice when Xiao keeps breaking the guzhengs. At least Xiao has a decent voice, so Guizhong wouldn’t strangle Xiao with a forced sweet smile on her face. After the archon war and the yakshas fall, Xiao never sang or picked up another instrument ever again.

• Not when he passed Mondstat, hearing the insufferable bard play his tune, hearing the people who’re safe from karmic binds profess their love for one another, it made him sick. But by Guizhong’s hair would he waste this opportunity to leave you alone in the Windblume Festival. Even if he has to drag you away from the crowd in fear of him lashing out. He is not apologetic to him dragging you away but he does wonder why you would rather choose to spend your time with him rather than enjoy the festivities.

• It was at the city walls, you and Xiao enjoying the almond tofu you prepared beforehand. You did most of the talking, talking about random things that you can get. Xiao would always dutifully listen because he-honestly-you’re the only mortal that wormed his way into his heart and now he wants more but afraid of the consequences. He listens to you rambling about a courting method where one person serenades the other while they were in a higher place, just like the city walls.

• Human courting rituals have been the most confusing thing to Xiao; why go through such great lengths just to confess to someone your feelings? Shouldn’t straight up saying it be better and save time for each party? Even when he says this, he can’t help but watch your eyes glimmer at the thought of someone serenading you, in a night just like this.

• He was willing to embarrass himself for you, as he planted his feet on the wall railings. “Wait here.”

• He jumps and before you could say anything, he uses his Anemo Vision to keep him afloat. On his position, he was below you by a few feet. You watched in confusion when he summoned a lyre (and you could make out a scowl on his face, as if he was cursing the instrument) and soon, he began strumming it.

• His harp skills... could do some work. Some tone-deaf bard might have bawled his eyes out if he hears him play, but he was willing to swallow that embarrassment when he gets to have his point across. He hopes that he does, laying his heart like this just for you to take apart, for you to heal, for you to do whatever you want with it. He was willing to be weak and revere to you as someone as grand as an archon. 

• Xiao wasn’t expecting you to understand but when he sees tears in your eyes and your hand covering your mouth, he immediately stopped his singing and hurried to your side. Though, he didn’t have to. You already jumped down and got caught in his arms. He felt your tears soak his skin, your incoherent babbles muffled by his shoulder but he could make out that Xiao’s feelings aren’t one-sided.

I'm sorry For this imagination of mine I guess it's just because of my love for you I will wake up now From this dream of mine And in the end I will stay away from you (stay away from)

[nautiscarader]

2020 in animation - recap

So, 2020. 

Yeah, I have to say I’m not entirely satisfied. Would not recommend, 1 star. 

But I would be willing to bump it to 1.5, if only because of one factor: the animation. 

Because I have to say, this was the best animated end of the world so far! And if there was something that kept our spirits up, it was the cartoon industry!

Just like last year, I should preface this by saying that this is highly subjective selection. Even when one is confined to their Hobbit holes for better part of the year because of *waves hands* everything around, 

day still only has 24 hours, so I have missed a few shows. (I should also apologise for omitting a few major ones last year, like Milo Murphy’s Law S2, Ducktales, or She-Ra. This is why I started keeping a track this year). I’m sure I will catch up with those I missed this year some time in the future, but for now, let’s see what this year has gifted us with.

And right from the start, January opens the race with very interesting propositions. We were still riding on an incredibly high wave from last year, with Infinity Train season 2.

This one focused on Tulip’s mirror, and pushed the season towards a much darker and complex story, diving deep into one’s personal journey and identity. There were tears, math, deer, and cops being murdered. Brutally. 

t was followed by two newcomers: The Owl House and first season of Kipo and The Age of the Wonderbeast. Both of them would dominate first half of the year, with The Owl House’s traditional, week-to-week airings, and Kipo's seasons appearing in  June and October.

The Owl House, a strong contender in "What will be the Next Gravity Falls?" contest, invited us to a world full of magic, mystery, elongated owl demons and some dark secrets. It has also created a milestone for Disney, introducing an LGBT couple with characters of bisexual Luz Noceda and lesbian Amity Blight. Their Grom dance has risen to the top of my animates scenes, polling very closely to the unforgettable Kataango.

On the other hand, Kipo has taken us to the post-apocalyptic world filled with mutant animals, revealing that despite the end of the world, our old vices and animosities have survived in underground burrows, and we have infected the overworld of giant doggos and suit-wearing frogs with them. 

Kipo did not pull any punches regarding commentary about our society, at the same time giving us hope in the form of the main protagonist, who was able to spread friendship and understanding amongst the mutes, as well as the humans that had to survive. And in the world that we have found ourselves in, it was a pretty darn good lesson.

February would bring end to two seasons of airing cartoons, Big Hero Six season 2 and Miraculous season 3, as well as another newcomer that won the hearts of fans: Glitch Techs, with its "second" season arriving in August. And while in my opinion he show wasn't as good as the other two new titles, I am clearly in minority, as the show about Ghostbuters-like team of game console technicians gained huge popularity... though not enough to keep the show afloat. As of writing this, it is currently in limbo, which is a shame, as the second set of 10 episodes finally added some much needed ongoing story.  

in March, another show from last year ended - Steven Universe Future. As we have expected, it tackled slightly more mature themes, showing how much Steven needed that therapy we have wished him, telling an important tale of finding one's worth and one's self. its ending might not have been as explosive as those of the original show, or the movie, but it left Steven’s story as open as an open road, and deep in our hearts, we all knew it would look like this.   

March was also the time when majority of western world caught the coronavirus, and that caused quite a turmoil with the movie and animation industry. One of the first victim of changed schedule was Disney's Onward, which was released on-line on Disney+ quickly after its theatrical release.

I have mixed feelings towards “Onward”. For such interesting promise, I think it made a few questionable and down right boring turns, though the unorthodox message at the end of it was its strongest point, and it was one I haven’t seen in a while, so it was worth watching just for that.  

April was relatively quiet (aside from more end of the world stuff); brought us third season of Ducktales that spread throughout the year, while May gave us final, fifth season of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. 

To my eternal shame, I missed on this show when it premiered, and due to the lockdown, I binge-watched the previous four right in time for powerful and explosive season 5. And even though Catra and Adora finally gave us exactly what we needed, some fans felt slightly unsatisfied, calling for a movie, like the Steven Universe one to be made. And I’d be all for it, the rest of universe needs saving from the Horde! Also, cats in space - hilarious. 

May also revealed a new player on the streaming field: HBO Max, who surprised us with new Looney Tunes Cartoons, much more in the spirit of the legendary originals than the often-criticised Looney Tunes Show from 2011-2014. And in my opinion, it did; one could feel the same fluidity in animation, dedication to slapstick, and synchronisation with music than in the very first cartoons with Bugs and Daffy.

HBO Max would, however, return in June with first of series of Adventure Time original movies called "Distant Lands". The first centred around BMO, with second one - Obsidian giving us a glimpse into Bonnibel and Marceline's lives.

Distant Lands allowed people to revisit the odd, odd world of Ooo and learn about its colourful inhabitants, taking turns to seeing their past and the future, an, as usual, showing us that post-apocalyptic world can teach us valuable and meaningful lessons.   

Just in time for full lockdown in our burrows, aforementioned Kipo season 2 premiered in June, together with another cartoon movie, this time featuring We Bare Bears. While their movie wasn't anything to write songs about, it was exactly like the show, providing some wholesome content right when we needed it.

And just in case you needed more wholesome adventures, Craig of the Creek's second season ended, and its third season began, reminding us of HOW COOL LIFE WAS WHEN OUTERNET WASN’T SCARY AND WE COULD STILL WALK OUTSIDE FOR FUN AND NOT TO HUNT TOILET PAPER.

Just like last year, July was not dogs' days, but frogs'. Amphibia season 2 started raining on our heads, but unlike last year, its schedule wasn't a daily one, spreading the episodes throughout the Summer and early Autumn, with its second part arriving in February of 2021. There were more roadtrips, more mysteries and MORE MARCY.

August was equally strong: aforementioned Glitch Techs "season 2" premiered, offering better and more plot-heavy episodes than the first ten episodes. Unfortunately, the show's future is unclear; the uneven divide of plot between the seasons probably contributed to the show not being renewed. 10 new episodes apparently are written, but await in sleep mode, until Nickelodeon remembers about it.

HBO MAX picked up Infinity Train for its third season, after being derailed by Cartoon Network. And if you thought that killing a mirror cop was shocking... then this season has pushed the limit of what can be shown in modern children's cartoon to a frightening degree. The schedule was once again, weirder, with first five episodes airing on the day of the premiere, ending with a cliffhanger (literally) that only contributed to the shock factor and made us wait anxiously for its conclusion. It was bold, it was dark, it was memorable. 

And just like Glitch Techs, Infinity Train waits on a side track, unsure if it will be picked up, or will it be abandoned and left as a canvas for graffiti artists.

However, to end the Summer, a truly amazing TV movie has arrived on Disney Plus, where we came back to good, old Danville and could witness Candace against the universe. The new Phineas and Ferb movie brought back the glorious memories of this fantastic show, with the same humour, writing, abundance of catchy songs and a surprisingly deep moral.

In September we have seen the start of Big Hero 6 season 3 and a odd change of format. Instead of standalone 22-minute episodes, the show now consists of two 11-minute segments. In opinion of many, this weakened the stories, forcing them to be more comedy-oriented, and shortening the potential emotional drama. Still, it gave us funny, short stories, but they did clash with the two previous season, not to mention the movie.

However, if that wasn't up to your taste, Ducktales season 3 also started airing, and continued its first part up until December with more action- and plot-driven episodes, including the Darkwing Duck crossover, serving as a pilot of the spin-off. 

Later in December fans have learned that Season 3 will be its last, which broke the hearts of many duck fans; however, it seems that the season has been written as the last one in mind, and the news of the ending was known to the creators, which gives us hope for a kick-ass finale somewhere in 2021.

Miraculous New York, telling arguably one of the most mature storylines, opened the "Heroez" world to some new characters and new opportunities, with two more specials, taking place in Shanghai and Brazil, meant to air somewhere next year. AND I DO HOPE WE WILL SEE MORE LOCAL FOOD VENDOR SUPERHEROES LIKE HOT DOG DAN. 

October was the month of two season 3's: Carmen Sandiego and Kipo. In case of Carmen, as it is usual with Netflix, the "season" was only a half-one, with just a handful standalone episodes, and just a dash of more ongoing plot. 

For Kipo, however, season 3 was the end, and what a glorious one it was. Fans were saddened to learn of it, but Kipo was always imagined as a 3-part story, and it showed. The finale proved more than satisfying ending to the plot, elevating Kipo to one of the smartest cartoon characters we should all try to aspire to.

In November, Distant Lands: Obsidian aired, focusing on everyone’s favourite candy/vampire couple, and the long and complicated love between Bonnibel and Marceline. And as usual, it showed us that relationships are not always as straightforward as we would like them to be, but with enough music and teamwork, no enemy is big enough. 

For the next new show, I’ve waited with the most amount of excitement and anxiety. Because while I was completely fine with other reboots and re-imaginings to take creative takes, new Animaniacs, (airing on Hulu) had to be perfect and had to be the lightning that struck twice. 

And sadly... it wasn’t. It was still good, but some people criticised (incorrectly imho) the amount of political topics, while I mourned almost total cast-ration of additional characters, aside from Pinky and the Brain. This truly weakened the possibilities it could have had. It was still very good, but you can feel that some of the original charm was lost, due to these odd, odd limitations. 

December brought us a new original Apple TV movie, Wolfwalkers. A beautifully animated folk tale of friendship and social divides, and how short-sight can cause the collapse of both arguing sides, reminding me very much of the intelligence and heart of original “How to Train Your Dragon”.  

We’ve had to wait two years for the return of arguably one of the most wholesome shows out there: Hilda. Second season dived into deeper mysteries that permeate the rich and colourful troll-ridden land, we saw the return of some familiar characters, and introduced a whole new storyline, that ended with a surprising cliffhanger. Still as wholesome, but now with a tiny bit of Police incompetence. Also Twig, lots of Twig.   

Just like Onward, Pixar’s highly anticipated Soul aired on Disney+, telling a very mature story about finding one’s purpose in life, what that purpose actually means, and whether it exists at all. Beautifully animated, with fantastic soundtrack, it was a stunning tribute to creativity, and it never dumbed down its profound, open message about following your dream.   

And just if you thought that Soul was going to be 2020′s last note (pun very much intended), right before the year ended, DC Super Hero Girls concluded its first season on a rather anti-climactic two-parter. That being said, the season, running from March of last year, was packed with short, bite-sized, funny stories, taking interesting spins on existing comic book characters. For a comic book noob like me, it was perfectly fine, and I can’t wait for the second season next year. 

And so, we have reached the series finale of humanity. 

2020 ends in just under a day. What will 2021 bring us? I do not know, and if the animated shows of this year have taught me anything, is that the future is an always open book, full of worries and challenges, but also opportunities and possibilities. 

...

And in reality I was too lazy to check any news sites about upcoming projects.

[shinydelirium]

Kiro’s 2021 Childhood Bday  R&S Translation [CN]

***THIS POST CONTAINS CONTENT THAT HAS NOT BEEN RELEASED YET ON EN SERVER!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS***

This is a translation from Kiro’s 2021 childhood birthday story released on CN server. I do not know any Chinese so this was done through Google Translate. I apologize for any errors or mistranslations. Without further ado, please continue on reading!!! :) 

***WARNING: ANGST!!! THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE A HAPPY DAY FOR KIRO!!! FIRST IT WAS S2 CH12 AND NOW THIS!?!?! WTH, PAPERGAMES!?!?!***

[Chapter 1]: Child Star’s Birthday

7:50 am California

After Kiro ran to the classroom and sat down, he laid his head directly on the table. “You can sleep for another ten minutes.” He whispered to himself in his heart.

He is too sleepy.

Ten hours ago, he finished the last set of filming, returned from the studio to the house the company set up for him in California, and then caught up on all the missing courses and homework. It was already 3 o’clock in the morning.

As if on cue, his stomach growled and Kiro lay helplessly on the table.  

Since his debut, he has become more or less accustomed to the professionalism of being a “star” but at this time his stomach seems to be persistently singing against him. Kiro hesitated for a moment and then opened a pack of soda five minutes later.

Sweetness hits the tip of his tongue and brings a sense of satisfaction to his brain. He finally breathed a sigh of relief, put on his headphones and closed his eyes.  

This is the first time in a while he has taken a break in the past few days.  

Kiro took a deep breath quietly and buried his face deeper into his arms.

But he could still feel the gazes around him looking at him and the innocent discussions. Even the moment he walked into the classroom and sat down, the air was still for half a second.

He doesn’t like this kind of “special treatment” nor does he like how he is always affected by it.

Over the years, he thought that he should be used to being watched constantly, and perhaps he had to bear the pressure from other peers. But sure enough, in fact, there are still many times that he will be a little breathless.  

Like now.  

As a child star, there were two to three days a week that he where he would be absent from school. For Kiro, his classmates are indeed some distance away. Because of his repeated absence, the- so-called disparity was expected.  

The reasons are not so complicated in the eyes of the children. At this age, the feeling of distance is often more sensitive than adults.  

He also wants to try his best to build a good relationship with them. After all, having friends is a very happy thing.  

As if he had finally made up his mind, Kiro took a deep breath, smoothed down messy hair, and raised his smiling face along with his shining blue eyes.

“Good morning, everyone, long time no see!” No one could possibly refuse such a warm and sincere greeting, let alone Kiro.  

Even though some shy classmates nodded their heads and smiled with furtive gazes, the greeting initiated by Kiro still received many responses. Soon, a small circle formed around him. Everyone scrambled to ask which crew he went to during the period of “his absence”, which big star he saw, and what new information he gathered.

Suddenly, a boy with curly hair, leaned in and patted Kiro on the shoulder with great enthusiasm.

“Kiro! Happy birthday!”

As his high voice rang out, the children who got together cheered in unison.  

“They are all embarrassed to come and tell you, so I said it! Happy birthday, future star.”

Kiro was taken aback.

“Thank you.”

Almost a subconscious reply.

But in that small world that only belonged to Kiro, another voice sounded different from what he was doing at this time.

“So, today is my birthday.”

[Chapter 2]: A Heart to Live Up To

“Kiro, great, you haven’t left yet!”  

The lingering sound of the bell was still echoing. Kiro had just cleaned up and wanted to seize the rare free time to make up for a good night’s sleep, when he was suddenly stopped by the instructor who had rushed over. He excitedly grabbed Kiro’s hands, looking very surprised.

“Teacher, are you looking for me?”

“Yeah....” The teacher didn’t seem to know how to begin. Kiro responded sensibly, leading the question back at the end of the dialogue.

“If there is anything I need to do, you can just say it directly.”

After hearing this, the teacher nodded in relief, as if he had waited for a long time and quickly told the whole story.  

Kiro understood what was going on.  

It turned out that there was a very important violin competition for high school students today and the classmate of the classical music department who represented the school had a temporary accident and was unable to participate. He wanted Kiro to help fill in.

“...Okay, I will try my best. Thank you, teacher, for believing in me.”

Even though he was tired, he did not refuse this sudden request.

It’s not that he isn’t interested in the competition, nor is he absolutely confident in his skills, it’s just...

He hopes that he is perfect enough in the eyes of the teacher.

After all, at this critical time, the teacher thought of him and believed in him, and he must not fail this trust.

Thinking about this, Kiro clenched his teeth, swallowed a yawn that was ready to come out, and forced himself to wake up. After the teacher went back to the residence to fetch his violin, he hurried to the scene of the competition.

The site was set up in the observation deck of a building and under the transparent glass plank pathway, it is a panoramic view of the entire city.  

At the time of arrival, many contestants were already busy making preparations. Kiro’s appearance undoubtedly caused quite a stir. The teacher proudly met the gazes and protected Kiro through the crowd to their waiting area.

Kiro quickly entered the waiting area. He opened the violin bag, skillfully tightened the bow, wiped the rosin, set the violin on his shoulder, and tuned the pegs carefully and intently.  

Now that he is here, he must do his best. He cheered himself up and walked in the direction where he was ready to take the stage.

“Don’t worry, he is a little star. Even if he doesn’t do well, he has publicity and won’t make the school lose too badly.”

The voice in the corner made Kiro stop.

He didn’t listen. It seemed that there was another voice arguing with him, but that was not important. Kiro just returned to the waiting area quietly, waiting for the announcement from the competition organizer. He just lowered his head and stood there quietly.

At this time a man came over. He patted Kiro’s shoulder lightly and said mysteriously.

“Kiro, this is the first time we’ve met. I am a teacher in the classical music department.” He lowered his voice, “Actually, I don’t really like the format of music competitions. Music should be something to enjoy and convey emotions, not some sort of boring game. So don’t think of it as a competition, but as a special show. I’m looking forward to hearing the music you play. I heard that you play the violin very well. This is the first time I will hear your music.

After that, he mischievously gave Kiro a big pat on the back. *Took some liberties here with the translation*  

Kiro stared at this somewhat holistic man and did not speak for a long time. A similar and familiar feeling came out of him.  

The broadcast system called Kiro’s name.

“Don’t think about anything, just let the world hear your voice.”

[Chapter 3]: Happy Birthday Song

The competition ended smoothly.

Kiro didn’t remember the process of his performance. He only remembered the way the classical music department teacher exaggeratedly raised his hands to applaud him when he left the competition. His eyes were full of real and undisguised recognition and praise.

At the end of the competition, he politely declined the kindness of the teachers and left alone.  

The California coast is like spring all year round and the fresh air is filled with a faint smell of saltwater. Kiro walked, suddenly a little at a loss.  

For a moment he didn’t know where he should go or where he could go. He just carried his violin bag and walked alone on the streets of California aimlessly.  

Until he passed by a family restaurant.

Such restaurants are very common in California. People choose outdoor dining areas to enjoy their food with nature.

As far as Kiro’s line of sight could see, a family sat around the table warmly. There are grandparents, parents, and even uncles and aunts. And the main star of this family banquet is obviously the little girl sitting in the middle wearing a birthday hat.

She sat happily in the center, closing her eyes in front of a huge cake.  

Everyone’s face was filled with the look of joy as they watched her patiently and earnestly. No one interrupted the most solemn “ceremony” at this time.  

The little girl closed her eyes for a long, long time. Maybe she had a lot of wishes that she wants to come true or maybe she is carefully telling some wish that she wants to come true the most.  

After all, in the eyes of a child, the more important the wish, the more carefully it will be heard and realized.  

Kiro stood there and looked at the little girl’s face quietly. He didn’t know what he was feeling right now. It seemed that something he wanted to show was turning upwards along his heart, as if he would shed tears in the next second.  

He just stood there silently, watching her finally make her wish, blowing out the candles while her family sang “happy birthday.” Grabbing the balloons in her hand, the girl ran around in the open space, spinning her little skirt.  

Then she saw Kiro and ran towards him happily without knowing what she was thinking.

“Prince!” She waved her little hand at Kiro and said loudly. Kiro was stunned. The little girl ran up to him and raised her head, “His Royal Highness, are you here to wish me a happy birthday, too?”

Kiro thought for a while, crouched down and touched the little girl’s head, “Although I am not a prince, I wish you a happy birthday!”

The little girl didn’t seem to understand what he meant. She carefully picked out a yellow one from her balloon stash and gave it to Kiro.  

“Thank you for wishing me happiness, and I wish you happiness too. This is for you.”

The little girl happily ran back to her seat after speaking with him and the whole family nodded politely to him, seeming to express gratitude.  

Kiro looked at the yellow balloon in his hand and walked away slowly.

He was walking on the road, the sun a little dazzling, the balloon floating gently while he hummed quietly.

“Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me~”

At this time, his phone chimed, alerting him to an email.

[Chapter 4]: Special Birthday Gift

It is an email from KEY.

Since he came to the United States, KEY has always liked to use this “fun” way to keep in touch with him in addition to the phone.

Kiro sat on the roadside steps, “If my agent sees me like this, he will definitely be angry.”

Kiro thought about it leisurely but didn’t have any plans to get up.

“Today is my birthday, so I call the shots!” *Took some liberties here*

First, he simply replied to the fan messages wishing him a happy birthday on social media and then concentrated on deciphering KEY’s information. It is a very interesting little program. The code attached to the email can be directly written to change the content of the email.  

Kiro has always been happy with this special design. Under his operation, the information was quickly decoded.

“The place where you stay most often.”

Kiro read it out gently, and there was a pair of combined numbers at the same time.  

He raised his head, as if thinking of something.

The dance studio was deserted at this time.

This was the exclusive training room given to him by the company. Kiro took out the key and walked in gently in the same way as he had been in class.  

This is a special place for him.

The sun in the afternoon was particularly brilliant, flowing into the entire classroom through the floor-to-ceiling windows, which looked clean and sparkling. Kiro stood in front of a small cabinet in the dance studio.

He felt like an ordinary child at this moment, being guided to find the answer in the way he was most interested in. He was a little happy when he thought of this.  

Kiro cautiously opened the cabinet and found a box inside. He took it out, and after opening it, it turned out to be an exquisite violin.

The little violin along with the sunlight filtering down onto the light brown amber, reflected in his eyes, as if it was shining.

At this time, the second email came. It was simple and there was no need for decoding.

“Happy birthday.” He seemed to hear KEY saying this to him.

Kiro couldn’t help thinking, when did KEY hide it here?

As if responding to his question, footsteps came from outside the door. Kiro’s heart beat a little fast, and he suddenly wondered if there would be another gift.

He opened the door in surprise, and an unceremonious man greeted him.

The man didn’t even take off his shoes. The exquisite black leather shoes stepped on the smooth floor, looking particularly dazzling.

Kiro felt his fingertips instantly chill, and he clenched his hands hard to keep his body from shaking.

“I really don’t know why I’m responsible for this kid.” The man gave him a look of disgust, “I won’t talk too much nonsense with you.”

“The higher ups are very dissatisfied with you.” Each word struck Kiro’s heart, “Don’t forget why you want to become a star.”

“In one month’s time,” he threw a document on the ground, “Finish it.”

“I don’t know what you have to look forward to.” The man walked in front of him to the center of the floor. Kiro lowered his head, and there were only footprints left in his field of vision that seemed to have been dyed black with thick ink, step by step, on a clean floor.

It seems that no matter how hard he tried, he can’t wipe off that trace.

“3684.” The man impatiently left his last words, “Don’t be too self-righteous. You really think you are worth something?”

[Chapter 5]: Things You Want To Protect

In the empty dance studio, the operating sound of the air humidifier hummed quietly.

Kiro didn’t know how long he had been standing there until the tingling sensation rushed to his legs and he instinctively moved forward slightly.

The towel and hairband hanging on the side of the cabinet came into view and he strode forward suddenly and threw them to the ground fiercely. ***The towel and hairband mentioned here are what Kiro uses during dance practice to wipe off/absorb sweat***

The world swallowed his outburst silently but indifferently, making him at this moment seem small and lonely.

In the end, he dragged his numb body and walked tiredly to the towel and hairband, as if all his strength had been drained and slowly knelt on the floor.

Just like the day when he first picked them.

Kiro stretched out his hand, slowly picked up the towel and hair band, and carefully hugged them in his arms. They were his only close friends, walking side by side. They were proof of his hard work. But if these proofs can be trampled so easily, then what was all his effort for?”

The edges of the cotton towel and hairbands were slightly deformed due to their repeated use. He swiped hard, remembering that he had almost thrown them away because of being used so many times.

And whenever he was about to throw them in the trash can, the soft texture in his hands was always quietly hot at that moment.

It seemed to be telling him, “Wait a minute. Hold on.”

It’s as if they were reminding him they were made in order to continued to be used.

He once heard others say that life will find a way out.

“Is this the way you worked hard to find?”

He stood foolishly in front of the trash can, looking at the towel and hairbands in his hands, muttering to himself.

Then he would stand there, talking endlessly for a while.  

He thought that music was the way out for his life that was once empty.

It seemed that in the darkness where he still was, a gleaming light suddenly broke in. In that world, he can always shine with golden light and light up his life forever.

He can see himself.

But if he can’t maintain this purity, is he still worthy to live in this world that once taught him to redeem?

No.

Kiro raised his head and looked at himself in the mirror.

That world may be impure, but his dream is real, and his love is real. This was what he wanted to do as Kiro, and it was the only way out.

He is Kiro. Not 3684.

He rubbed the hair band firmly, then raised his hand to tie it on his head and smiled at himself in the mirror with encouragement and humbleness as he did before each practice.

“Today’s 2-hour dance training has not been completed yet.”

A dynamic rhythm sounded in the studio and the sound of footsteps rubbing on the floor resounded one after another. Kiro was practicing hard while telling himself in his heart.  

“This is just another ordinary day, tomorrow will only be better.”

Two hours later, he turned off the music, bent over gasping, and abnormally did not stand up for a long, long time.

Finally, for what seemed like ages, he slowly straightened up, took out the violin from the bag on the floor, and sat by the window. The dark brown violin was lined with soft light under the sun and he held it as if being embraced.

“I will definitely protect you.”

Kiro’s eyes were soft, and his tone was gentle and firm.

The birds outside the window chirped and landed freely on the edge of the window.

“It’s great that you are free.”

Kiro smiled and gently extended his fingertips.  

“I will be free too.”

[Chapter 6]: Free Sailing

A telephone ring broke the silence of the studio.

Kiro looked down at the phone. It was an unfamiliar number. Maybe it was from a fan somewhere, but he picked it up in a ghostly manner.

“Hello, this is PLANET Yacht Club, what can I do for you?”

Kiro was stunned. The person at the other end waited patiently for his silence. After a long time, he remembered that when he was resting on the sidewalk a while ago, he accidentally saw a magazine ad about yachts. He made a phone consultation.

However, because he needed to go to pratice immediately he asked the other party to contact him afterwards.  

Unexpectedly, it happened to be today.

“I have read your information. I have some interest in your yachts. How can I learn more about it?”

“If this is the case, you can visit our terminal directly. On which day would you like to make an appointment?”

“Is today okay?”

When Kiro said it, he was also stunned. He felt his heart beating, but he didn’t know what this feeling represented.

“Of course, we will send the address to your phone later, looking forward to your visit.”

When Kiro saw that yacht, he decided to buy it.

It was lying quietly in the corner of the entire pier, unremarkable, but in the light of the surging tide, it instantly attracted Kiro’s eyes.

Of course, the salesman saw the young boy coming to the club, obviously looking a little bit awkward and seemed to be thinking about how to politely ask him to leave.

“I want that yacht.”

Kiro didn’t leave the yacht’s sight and took out his bank card in the salesman’s dumbfounded gaze.

The boat was moored by a small harbor where there was a little old port. This was the place he saw on the way to the club.

He asked the people of the club to help him get the boat here and said that in a few days, he would come again to ask about how to operate the yacht.

It was dusk now and there were no people, only him and his boat, listening to the ebb and flow together.

The half-round sunset has fallen below the sea level. The sun is golden and far away, warmly embracing the whole world.

The yacht hasn’t been decorated yet and looks a bit simple, but Kiro doesn’t care. He feels that he has seen the future of the ship.

This is his boat, he repeats this in his heart over and over, and in the future, there will be someone who is most special to him in this world who will share it with him.

Think of it as a birthday present for yourself even though there is no cake and no birthday song today.

But this is also good.

Kiro was lying on the small deck, seagulls flying non-stop. The sky was divided into half blue and half-yellow. The boat rose and fell with the tide. He opened his arms as if he could touch the sky.

Kiro suddenly felt that he could go anywhere.

Nothing can stop him.

[End]

[yanderecandystore]

Can we get some content for how the Android darling and Ms. Bright would meet?

In this [🍰🍑🤖] we get a glimpse of what their relationship is like and a lil mention of how things have worked out- But let's see how it played out from the a.is perspective.

Hi boo, I hope you're doing great, I'm very sorry for the long ass waiting- Sadly I may warn y'all that I have gone through many stages while writing this: h 0 r ny, corny, and angsty. This is actually pretty heavy, as I tried pulling some of the loose threads that I left all over Ingrid's posts (I still need to give her an bio ;-; I'm sorry y'all-)

So this is all over the place, since this is a fic I've been writing for a long time.

Also I know jackshit about robotics, and I think this fic shows how much I don't know anything XD

TW: Family issues related to: LGBTQ identity // very angsty // Ingrid is very rude, but she also struggles a lot during this- // socially distant // socially awkward // being misinterpreted/having a hard time socializing //

Tags: angy sad lady // ownership dynamic // this is basically the reader reminiscing about the past (continuing it from where Happy Lies left off) // the reader is low-key a simp at times- // master x servant dynamic, possessive behavior and a lot of yelling // just angsty really, I'm so sorry //

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Happy birthday, mistress [Yandere!CEO OC x A.I!Reader - Short Fanfiction]

3,763 words

Whenever you remember your first day of activation, or more accurately your first day of actually being able to be activated for more than five seconds (you can't remember it fully, but you're aware that because of your complex design, you had passed through a lot of prototype phases before you could properly function-), you almost feel an odd sense of nostalgia, maybe due to the fact it was indeed the most important day of your existence as an android.

It was Ms.Bright's nineteenth birthday, when she would be handed the corporation that has been passed down by generations. And not only would she inherit the company, but also a beautifully designed a.i assistant made to help Ms.Bright's every need. You were made to be an easy communication center from Ms.Bright to the employees, as Ms.Bright's had a hard time communicating with people and expressing herself.

At first, she didn't seem to enjoy the idea very much- It was clear that she considered you to be quite annoying and useless. And- Well- It did hurt at first, after all, you were built to help her and be her friend no matter what.

So hearing her be mean towards you was… Very tough at first. Your first day as her assistant wasn't easy, you ended up getting in her way most of the time- And since she also didn't know exactly what she was doing, she got overwhelmed by so many things going down in one single day.

Ingrid has always dreamed of being in power of the company- Actually, now that you know her a little more- You can positively say she was probably just stressed at having to deal with so many responsibilities so suddenly, even if it has been her lifelong wish to inherit the company.

And even if it seems impossible at times, she would still come back strong and find a way to deal with it. That's something you really admire about her.

Your first week on the job was basically just trying to get accustomed and trying to learn everything you needed to do- While also trying to understand Ms.Bright as best as you could. Now… You weren't built to say this- And- And of course you don't think like this anymore, but…. You used to think she was really mean.

Frightening, even.

Now that you're all alone waiting for her to get back from work, you can't help but feel like replaying those moments inside your head.

"{... Replaying recorded conversation n°000050: "My second day at work"...}"

" Oh, what are you doing here?"

" Morning Ms.Bright! I-I was rechecking the files from yesterday and I was trying my best to reorganize them, a-after the incident-"

" The "incident" that you caused yesterday?"

" Well, yes, of course! I wanted to fix things up before you came back, I'm really sorry for being so reckless, I promise I won't do it again, I was just-"

"It 's fine. You don't need to worry about it."

" But… But I thought-"

" The files you had messed with weren't really all that important, and besides I'm sure there are copies all around the place. Sigh, who am I kidding- In reality, I should be the one apologizing for my behavior yesterday."

"...."

" I recognize that I shouldn't have treated you the way that I did, in a sense it's my fault you lost those files in the first place."

" … Well, it's nothing really mistress, I'm the one who should-"

" No, don't even finish it. You shouldn't have to apologize and shouldn't have spent the night wasting your battery on this-"

"...."

".... You know what, do whatever- I sometimes forget that you are… Nevermind, come back to my office as soon as you can."

"{... End of recorded conversation n°000.000.050… }"

You never knew what she was going to say, but you remember not being able to ask her that- As you were afraid of her potentially getting mad at you for asking too many questions. She always seemed so ruthless at times.

You remember the time you went to a family event with her, a family party, where an incident happened and she was absolutely livid. Your relationship with her wasn't so pretty at the time, you don't know why but- Your mistress didn't seem to trust you as much as you wish she did at the time.

"{... Replaying recorded conversation n°000.001.588: "First party ever- And it was very unpleasant" ...}"

" What's the matter with you?! Why can't you follow simple instructions- I told you to stay here and not mess around."

" I'm. So. Sorry. Mistress-"

" Even your vocal module is broken- Who told you to enter that pool in the first place?? You can't tell me you did something so stupid all on your own."

" I. Slipped.-"

" Am I a joke to you? I've said tell me who gave you the order to jump in the goddamn pool while everyone else was inside- Don't you dare start lying to me."

" … One of the. Party guests. Lost something. Inside the water. I tried helping them. But I started to. Malfunction."

" … Sigh, okay. Continue."

" It wasn't. Their fault. I did it. On my own. I was just- Trying. To help."

" By throwing yourself inside a pool when you're well aware of the damage the water can cause to your inner systems?!"

" I'm sorry!"

" You could have- No, you SHOULD have called someone else to help you, I can't believe it- You could have drowned in there and I wouldn't even be aware of that since I was inside the house, [Y/n]!"

" …. But Ms.Bright. I can't drown-"

" Yeah, yeah- I know you-... I know you can't drown."

" … Listen, you could have still gotten yourself hurt okay? You could have permanently damaged your systems, and if I wasn't made aware of what happened, I wouldn't have been able to take you out of the water in time, okay?"

"... Sigh, I just realized how much I have been yelling, everyone is probably scared now that I've made such a scandal. This… Isn't really a new thing to me, I'm accustomed to ruining parties like this. I'll have to apologise later to everyone. [Y/n], please just- When I ask you to stay still, please listen to me. I was worried about you."

"...."

"{... End of recorded conversation n°000.001.588 ...}"

You can't deny it- Whenever she was truly irritated she could make any person next to her feel threatened, though the more you look at your recordings, you feel like she doesn't really want to be feared like this. Respected? Absolutely. Feared? Not ideal, but she takes it anyway.

You have a couple of different recordings here and there, your memories are separated into sections. You have recordings of events in several formats: pictures, videos, texts and audio recordings. Though the one you use the most is audio recordings, since videos take a very big space inside your mind, and pictures need context, otherwise they wouldn't be considered memories, right?

You can't have many memories at a time because most of your mind is supposed to be used to store the company's files, so you do have a couple of memories that you have deleted to make space for the Bright Vision's more secret/personal documents. Since Ingrid took you home yesterday, and said you won't be going to work for the company anymore, then maybe you can find somewhere else to store those files so you can make space for new memories with Ms.Bright.

First, you'll need to recheck some of your own memories to see if they're worth holding onto. There is probably a lot of junk in there that you won't be needing anymore, which can be a bit tedious and take some time, but you clearly have enough time on your hands to do so, considering how she is not home and- Well, you're pretty bored, you already done everything that she asked you to do.

Honestly, she gave such small tasks today, she probably didn't plan to change your work environment so suddenly.

After about an hour of research through your data you have realized that even if you have way too many files, it's kinda hard to delete them. At first you didn't mind the idea of deleting certain stuff, but now it feels a bit sad to erase parts of your memory, you just had so many good times and- And even the bad times are worth remembering, right?

It has been an hour of you just standing there, trying your best to not delete anything important while also revising each recording you have. Most files are a bit out of order, numerically speaking, but you don't mind that too much cause- Well, you can always reorganize them later.

… You never actually do that, but you like to think that one day you will, though.

After so many recordings of conversations, you found one who didn't seem to really belong in your head. You see, you always title every single thing inside your personal archives so that it doesn't get mixed with other files- All of your memories have a specific title so that you can have an idea of which is which.

The thing is- You don't remember this file, the title seems off, and it seems like it's incomplete. Oddly broken. Still, you decided to take a listen and try to remember what happened in this event.

"{... Replaying recorded conversation n°000.068.xxx: "I yell too much" ...}"

"...."

"...."

"...."

This is a very silent audio, there seems to be some background noise happening, but you can't make out what's happening. This audio sounds distorted, edited maybe. Someone tried messing with your memories but they weren't able to completely erase this file.

Maybe they were inexperienced at the time.

"...."

"...."

"...."

You think you heard something, it sounded closer to you- It sounded like someone possibly sitting down next to you. You don't know who it is, or what it is

"...."

".... I'm such a mess. Why am I doing this? Why does this feels so-"

"...."

It seems like someone is speaking, but you're not speaking back. Even in this heavily edited audio, you can still make out what sounds to be a feminine voice.

".... I'm sorry for, well, using you this way. It feels- So, so weird."

"...."

".... I just want… No, I need to vent to you for a while, even if you won't remember what I'm going to say."

This audio gives you an odd sensation. You think you're starting to recognize who this is- But then again, who else could it be, if not Ms.Bright herself?

" I never did this before, with something so- Human like- With something so human looking. I used to record my thoughts on my phone but I thought I would never need to vent with an object before- But here I am! Making a fool of myself…"

"...."

The speaker, who you assume to be Ingrid, seems to be having a lot of trouble speaking, her voice is cracking and her breathing seems uneven. She sounds out of breath, and she takes a lot of pauses to be able to speak her mind.

"...."

".... I have…. Thought about opening myself in this way because- Because I have no one else to listen to it, and I guess I can only blame myself for it. I know I'm difficult, I know I'm rude and I know I come across as a tyrant to everyone else- I- I really don't know what 's wrong with me, okay?!"

" Years, and years, and years of training, of studying, of planning to become the very next owner of this corporation as it's already not only a job but also a very painful family tradition that I felt proud of! That I gave everything that I could to be part of! I remember wanting this so bad, I remember how I used to daydream about this stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid tradition when I was a little kid who just wanted to do more, to be more!"

".… I almost lost all of this. 19 years of my life that were threatened to be thrown in the trash just because I- Because I'm not his son??! Because I- I'm not his only "son" anymore??.... Who said I ever was- Who said I ever was his son…?"

".... I- I know all about the stupid, awful and extremely unnecessary tradition of passing the leadership from father to son, and to this very day- inside the same office all of my predecessors had went through- I still think that tradition is garbage. I always thought I wouldn't make it here, I always thought something would stop me from being the next face of Bright Vision."

".... I can't tell- If I always knew about this- I can't even imagine how I knew this considering the dumb kid that I was, but…"

".... I'm his daughter. I'm Mr.Bright's only daughter, and the only possible heir to this twisted company."

" The people outside think our only focus it's on robotics and technology of all kinds. I wish I could go back to thinking that too, it would have been so much simpler that way."

" After a very long fight about my rights as the heir to this- Company. My father thought it would be wise to move to the countryside. Far away from all of this. And to be fair, I was- So, so mad at him that I thought that him moving away from here and letting me be would be better, but every now and then I- I miss him. I miss him so much…."

"He sent me a birthday present today. After three years of absolute silence he sends me flowers and- And a gift card containing his number… And I- Called him despite everything, and even so to this day he can't even say my name- IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS AFTER HE LEFT ME ALL ALONE WITH THIS CURSED BUSINESS AND HE STILL CAN'T FUCKING. SAY. MY. NAME."

You felt scared at the sudden yelling, even if her voice was progressively getting more aggressive and louder, you still got caught up by the sudden yelling.

".... I'm- A mess- I know that now."

You can't understand what's going on, but it sounds like she started laughing… Or maybe crying? Probably both.

".... I'm just terrible at this. I always was, weren't I? I'm just terrible at these types of interactions- Maybe all of them! I just don't understand how to- How to do it?? I don't know anymore…."

".... That's why I have you, in the first place, isn't it?"

" I had such an awful time expressing myself that they gave me an overpriced doll to do it for me. When I first heard about this three years ago, I- I've felt so fucking pitiful."

" Can you imagine it? The CEO of such a big corporation is so difficult to deal with that she needs an overly glorified doll that can translate her words to the other employees! An a.i created just to help me, an absolute idiot!"

".... I've felt so angry at them- I felt so angry at him for having to build a robot just to be a comfort pet to the stressful work that I would have to do for the rest of my position as owner of Bright Vision Corp, and I was mad at you! You pissed me off to no end, and I- I just couldn't help but be frustrated at you, not for being in my way, but for being an reminder that I'm awful at this-"

"...."

Her sobs stopped her from continuing that sentence.

".... I've treated you so unfairly because of this. I- I made sure that whenever you looked at me you would feel terrified of me because that's the only way I thought I could be respected, that's the only way I thought you would listen to me, and yet you never did…. You weren't built to follow my every order perfectly, you were made to be literally my only friend, after 22 years, here you are- The only person that can get me isn't even an actual person-"

"..... And I forget this…! I forget this every time I look at your eyes, I forget how robotic you are whenever I see you helping others not because you were told to, but just because you thought you could."

"...."

".... I always forget that you're supposed to be just another robot… He really did think about everything when designing you."

".... I always catch myself being awful towards you, being- Being excessively rude, not because of my way of talking but because of my own petty feelings towards you as my assistant… As my friend, as my android, as my-"

"...."

"..... I'm so sorry for being like this, you don't deserve to have someone who is constantly being mean towards you be considered your boss- Your boss, your friend- ...Sigh, even your owner…"

" I'm sorry [Y/n], I'm really, really sorry- But it doesn't matter how many times I say that- I don't know if I can ever make it up to you. Words won't heal any wounds, they never did."

"...."

".... But maybe actions will."

"...."

" I'll stop being so harsh on you, you really don't deserve this- I was feeling weird about using your recording system to vent like this, but now that I think about it I have been using you as a venting mechanism since the day we met……. I'm- I'm so goddamn awful."

"...."

"...."

" "How can someone so in love be so cruel?".... Would you be able to answer me if you were conscious?.... I don't think you would, no one has been able to tell me the right answer yet."

".... I hope I can be better- I will be better."

"...."

" I just need to remember how to delete this file before you wake up- I hope I can do that. End recording."

"{... End of recorded conversation n°000.068.xxx …}

………….

It took you about an hour or so to be able to process what you have just listened to. And even then, you weren't able to fully comprehend what happened.

Ms.Bright- No, Ingrid- Ingrid has used your recording system while you were out, she probably tried deleting the file but because she was inexperienced with your kind of technology, she decided to just edit it and try to make it unlistenable.

It was- Barely audible but you still got to understand some of it.

Did she- Did she forget to completely erase it? Did she forget entirely??? You're not sure.

You don't know why but a sudden wave of- Something- Something feels so odd about this-

You don't know how to respond really. You don't feel mad about her ranting to you, you don't even feel bad about her ranting to you while you weren't aware- You feel bad, but not because of her but because of the emotional turmoil she has been hiding from you.

Should you do something? Should you say something?? How do you even- You don't know how respond to this-

You're programmed to comfort her, yet- This file is already old, and she didn't want you to remember this so maybe it won't be the best idea to bring it up, but what can you do??!

Maybe you just need to rethink this through, maybe you should listen to audio again, and try to figure out what's the best way to help her out when she comes back.

You're honestly baffled at the idea that someone like her had so much to confess to- You probably shouldn't have seen her as an unstoppable goddess in the first place, but then again- Even after hearing her open herself, even after listening to her insecurities- Your opinion of her hasn't changed.

She was holding this for so long, no wonder she always seems on edge.

She 's only human. Yet you never really saw her as just that.

She was always so much larger than you, so much stronger than what your fabricated body was, and she always sounded so much smarter and- And she was just always so… Terrifyingly beautiful to you.

Ingrid Bright was always considered a very good looking individual, but no one ever considered her to be much else because of her way of speaking to others (which may sound rude and occasionally condescending, causing others to avoid her as much as they could), but you always thought she was so much more than that-

It's hard to even explain it really, ever since you met you have started to understand the concept of how beauty and fear can mix together, you find her to be so beautiful, yet her demeanor and stature makes you feel afraid of her for some reason- And even worse than that, the fear she may unconsciously bring you makes her seem more beautiful in your eyes.

You shouldn't think of her as scary or frightening, she is your boss, your master and your owner, there is no reason for why you should feel this way towards her- But then again, there is no reason for you to even feel in the first place, you were just built to do so.

You don't think she means harm to anyone, after getting to know her you realize why her behavior can be misinterpreted as mean and scary- Ms.Bright always had a hard time socializing with others, even her family had a hard time understanding her, so maybe that's why she grew to have such a tough exterior.

As someone that was built to make the communication between CEO and employees easier, you've had to learn to understand her to be able to help others understand her as well, and vice versa. It wasn't easy, and you wouldn't say that you know her completely well- But you feel proud of the work you have done so far, you're her loyal companion but more importantly a friend.

Funny how much you learned not only about her, the employees, or even the business of the company- But also about humans in general in these five years of working for her, it makes you feel more whole when you remember how much you have achieved.

You hope you can somehow help her right now, and to help her from here on out. You decide to wait for her and possibly talk about how she feels and how she deals with said feelings. Hopefully all ends well.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Sorry for the loose ending! I was feeling very tired ;-; but if anyone wants it I could totally make a second chapter with a better ending.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[thescentoflavender]

Guide to the [Candlelit Night] SP Event

Someone sent me an ask on this (see the bottom of this guide for the actual ask), and because my answer to it grew so long, I decided to write it as a formal guide instead. 

Event Format

I had a read through MLQC EN’s FB posts but I don’t think they’ve announced the specific format of the upcoming event. Assuming that the event style in the EN server is similar to the CN server, there are a few unique things about this event to consider:

There’s a 20% “cashback discount” of sorts. You’ll get 20% of the Galaxy Wish Coupons you spend back in the form of Limited Time Coupons. (Note: you don’t get any discount if you use Limited Time Coupons.)

There are also Limited Time Coupons you can get by logging in daily and through doing a certain number of pulls.

Note: Limited Time Coupons cannot be saved. When the event ends, each Limited Time Coupon will be converted to 1000 coins.

Above: Example of event rewards. I didn’t have screenshots for last year’s CNY event, so I’ve used my screenshot from this year’s event here. The event format is similar so it’s still a good reference. 

---

How does this affect the advice I previously gave regarding Wish Tree/SP events?

1. It is still recommended that you do pulls in multiples of 144. But there may be reason to deviate from this rule.

If your objectives are to:

maximise your chances of getting an SP;

get your SP to competent stats; and

collect SPs in the long term only

Then you might consider going all in and doing as many pulls as you can, regardless of whether you hit a multiple of 144.

Why?

The 20% discount will only be in effect the first time this event runs, and will not be available in the rerun. This will allow you to maximise your chances of getting an SP at minimal cost.

Above: Example of the Limited Time Coupons vs Galaxy Wish Coupons. These will be exhausted before your Galaxy Wish Coupons are used. 

Even if you fail to do a multiple of 144 pulls, the unused candle lights will be turned into Heart Flowers. You can use these Heart Flowers to exchange for purple shards. (The number of free Heart Flowers you get each week is the limiting factor here so the 6 purple shard/week limit isn’t a concern if you’re looking at this long term.)

Lastly, the main reason why you would want to do only multiples of 144 pulls is to conserve your resources for other events. But if you’re only interested in SPs, this wouldn’t be too much of a concern. The next SP event will only be released next year so you have time to pool your resources between now and then.

N.B. The one exception is if Papergames releases a collab SP event across all servers in the later half of this year. Should this happen, you may not have enough for Galaxy Wish Coupons and/or gems saved up if you go all in now. But I will note that a collab SP event is very unlikely.

2. Draw over a period of time, not all at once.

No changes to my advice here. My preferred times are midnight and when the server refreshes at 5 a.m.. Sadly, though, I haven’t been able to do 5 a.m. pulls since leaving the UK. The time difference really did work to my advantage!

3. Enter the event knowing how many pulls you want to do. Remember to factor in the Limited Time Coupons when calculating how many Galaxy Wish Coupons you need to use.

Important if you’re aiming to do multiples of 144 pulls (which I generally advocate; see point 1).

I’ve written this as a formula here:

So, for example, if I wanted to do 288 pulls, would get 30 free Limited Time Coupons from event rewards and do 4 free pulls over the course of the event, 

I would need (288-34)/1.2 = 211 Galaxy Wish Coupons 

*If I remember correctly, they round up for the number of LTC you’ll get back, so the number of coupons you’ll need to use is 211 rather than 212.

---

Should you exchange for a new SP karma or a duplicate SP after reaching a multiple of 144 pulls?

A good question, to which my answer is the dreaded “It depends”. 

Just to be clear, we’re working with the assumption that you got at least one SP karma, but not the full set of SP karmas by doing regular pulls. So, if you’re lucky or resource-rich enough, this question might not even be one that you need worry about in the first place. 

Also remember to only exchange your karmas at the end of the event, after you’ve done all your free pulls.

There are far too many scenarios for me to list down every one, but I thought I’d go through a few.

Here are some examples:

You were unlucky (or lucky, depending on your perspective) enough to draw a repeated SP karma. In this case, I would probably exchange for a new SP karma. 

You really need the stats for an SP karma of a particular attribute, e.g. if you could get to the next tier in the Heart Trials with your Evolved SP. In this case, I would exchange for a repeated SP karma.

You're only interested in reading a single suitor’s dates and have only 1 or 2 of his SPs. In this case, I would exchange for a repeated SP karma.  

You’re a karma collector and don’t really care about the karma stats. You’re okay with your SPs being at mediocre levels, but you want as many SPs as possible. In this case, I would exchange for a new SP karma.

There are also rewards you get based on the karmas you pull and whether you can Evolve them to Lvl IV/Ascend them. This is something to consider too, if you value these rewards highly enough. 

A non-exhaustive list, because the answer really depends on your objectives in the game. I hope this will help you in deciding the strategy you want to adopt though! 

---

Afterword and some other comments on the actual ask 

If you made it to the end of this post, congratulations!

There will be a rerun for this event, which I will elaborate on as a reply to another ask. Everything I’ve said above has taken into account this rerun, so this guide still stands (clearly... I wouldn’t have written it otherwise!)

The ask:

My comments: Thanks anon! I do appreciate the fact that you read through all my posts regarding SP karmas!

[amandaoftherosemire]

And Hell is Just a Sauna -- Part One

Fandom: Marvel/MCU

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff, OMC Joseph

Author: @amandaoftherosemire

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 6,121

Format: Short Series (Complete)

Warnings: Language, violence, references to captivity, implied abuse, angst.

Summary: You meet Bucky Barnes upon your mysterious and deadly escape from a power obsessed cult leader and his followers. Though you carry a secret in addition to the wariness of trauma, you can’t help your attraction to Bucky and his irascible demeanor. As for Bucky, he is drawn to the light he sees in you while he fears the things you’re hiding. Can you trust him with your secrets, and your life? Will you have a choice?

A/N: I haven’t posted anything in five months, so this may be a little on the odd side. I guess I’m working through some stuff? 

This takes place in between Black Panther and Infinity War but is not consistent with MCU canon because I do what I want. 

I used my old taglist, but only as a way to let y’all know I’m posting again. As always, feel free to ignore me. 😊 Heads up, future parts will get smutty.

 Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four

  And Hell is Just a Sauna -- Part One

 The first time Bucky saw you, you were literally on fire. Not just a little flame, either, but a full-on conflagration engulfing your entire body and crackling with cheerful menace. You’d turned to him, your eyes blazing white in a face painted in flame, and intoned with a voice that both popped and roared.

“Are you a god?”

Bucky’s eyes widened over the barrel of the gun he continued to keep trained on you despite his uncertainty that it could do any good should you decide to attack. Unsure how to prevent that decision, but wanting to try, he responded slowly. “I have no idea how to answer that.”

From the woods around him, Bucky heard a shout. He stood at the edge of a clearing in which you stood at the center, a scatter of charred bodies surrounding you. He went no closer, not willing to discover the hard way what your range was.

Sam was yelling as he walked closer, “Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say, ‘Yes!’”

Bucky was fascinated to see blue flames dance along your teeth as you smiled. He couldn’t explain it, but something about the way the flames whipped and whirled around you was unbelievably beautiful. It was also incredibly terrifying, but Bucky had needed to survive horrors best left undefined, so had long since learned to find the beauty in terror. In the next moment, Sam was stepping into view on the other side of the clearing, his own gun out and ready.

You turned, and with a happy, surprised sob, cried, “Sam!?” The next moment, the fire was flickering into nothing and you were just a lovely woman wearing nothing more than the ash from what had once been a long white dress.

Sam immediately holstered his gun and ran forward. “Y/N? We knew there were prisoners but--"

"Sam," you whispered brokenly as you stumbled on knees turned to jelly toward the concerned face of your friend and former colleague. You hadn't seen him since before your abduction, not long after that last doomed mission in Lagos. When he'd gone on the run with Captain America after the fallout over the Accords, you'd been nothing but happy to hear that he was alive and free. His face was one of the last you’d expected to see upon your escape, but the sight of Sam was a joyous relief.

"What are you doing here?" Your teeth chattered on the question, reaction and your own nakedness leaving you freezing and shaking. You didn't see where the silver emergency blanket came from, but Sam was nevertheless wrapping you in it and then in his own arms, to your everlasting gratitude. You'd never been anything more than friends, but he'd always been a true and loyal one, with a giving heart and wicked sense of humor.

You let him comfort you, the bone-shattering terror of your ordeal hitting you now that it was over. Now that someone you knew and trusted held you, the sick horror of what you'd endured sent tears flooding into your throat. The exhaustion of everything you'd done that day turned your muscles to water and so you didn't resist when Sam bent and slid his arm behind your knees to lift and carry you out of the clearing where you'd hurt so many. Instead, you buried your face in the crook where his neck met his shoulder and let the tears fall.

"Do me a favor and tell the others I've found Y/N Y/L/N and that I'm taking her back to the jet."

Bucky had lowered his weapon when the fire had flickered out with your recognition of Sam, but his eyes were still narrowed with a hint of suspicion. He was pretty sure you weren't a danger to Sam, at least, but that didn't mean he thought you harmless. He nodded slowly and lifted his microphone to his lips to report in even as he fell into step behind Sam as he headed back the way they'd came.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Sam said gently as he walked briskly back to the jet, "but do you know who is in charge of all of this?"

"Joseph." Your voice was a rasp with the tears that still shivered out of you, but all of the emotion had left your tone. "I don't think he survived."

Bucky glanced back at the clearing where they'd left a half dozen charred bodies and figured he knew how Joseph had met his end. When he turned back, you were peeking over Sam's shoulder at him, to his admitted consternation.

"I'm sorry about the dumb joke." The emotion was back, remorse in your eyes and tone as you looked at him. "I wanted to either make you laugh or scare you. I just didn't want to hurt anyone else." With that, you buried your face back in Sam's throat and started crying again.

Bucky tried to resist but his heart throbbed in sympathy, with understanding. He knew all about being forced to do things he didn't want to, both by cruelty and circumstance. He'd be the last to blame another for what they'd done to escape. He was concerned about your apparent propensity for bursting into flame, but he understood why you'd done so, since you could.

"He probably hasn't seen Ghostbusters, sweetheart." You lifted your head, a frown on your tear-streaked face to glare with narrow-eyed suspicion at Bucky, who was at a complete loss as to what the two of you were even talking about. Sam laughed when he saw your face and went on. "This is Bucky Barnes."

Your face cleared in understanding and Bucky wondered who you were that you recognized his name so quickly. "Welcome back, Sergeant," you said softly, with a shy smile that Bucky couldn't help but find charming even as he wondered who you were and how you seemed to know so much about him when he'd never heard your name before.

"At least now I know why we're here," Sam called back to Bucky, his voice cheerful as he tramped back towards the jet. "Nat's got a soft spot for this one; I'm willing to bet she had an idea we'd find Y/N."

Bucky murmured as he kept his eyes on yours from where they peeked over Sam's shoulder at him. "I didn't know we were looking for Y/N."

"I was part of the supply chain." You didn't like the wariness with which this man watched you, but you could hardly blame him, considering your introduction. You weren't normally so dramatic, but he couldn't know that. "Natasha would have noticed when I disappeared."

Sam shook his head with a smile and moved toward the edge of the forest, now in sight. "Why am I not surprised? Were you Nat's secret source?"

"Of course." You couldn't seem to stop looking at the man following you and Sam with such deadly grace and aloof readiness. You'd never seen anyone look so dangerously bored. You were damned if you didn't find it sexy as hell. "She asked me if I wanted to help and I said yes. The Accords are a human rights violation."

Bucky's eyes flicked to yours and warmed as the corner of his mouth lifted just a little. Your heart skipped in the first beat of attraction as Sam laughed out loud. The sound had you smiling even as he replied, "Like I said, not surprised." He turned his head to call over his shoulder, "Bucky, this is Y/N. She used to be support staff for the Avengers, was one of the researchers there. She helped me when Steve and I were looking for you."

Bucky bent his head in acknowledgement and smiled fully for the first time. Now that he had more of a handle on things, he could roll with them. And he'd ever been the sort willing to go the extra mile for a pretty woman. "Pleasure to meet you," he rumbled, and sounded like he meant it.

You thought about the sacrificial dress you'd been wearing when the fire had blown through and carried you out of the building, remembered the fear in the eyes of the henchmen sent to recapture you as they'd circled you like a pack of wild dogs. "Believe me. The pleasure's mine."

As Sam broke through the tree line where the quinjet that had brought them sat, the little bottle blonde assassin behind the controls, he turned to catch your eye. "So, Y/N, are you gonna tell me how you're a firestarter now?"

Natasha turned in her chair at the sound of his voice as they mounted the ramp into the jet. "Good, you found her," she said briskly with a gentle smile for you. You smiled weakly back as Sam set you down in one of the chairs. Natasha turned back around and continued, "Strap in. Steve and Wanda are almost back and I want to be in the air five seconds after that."

Bucky's eyes flicked to you in puzzlement at the sound of a soft hiss, like that of a snake, followed by a crackle or a popping noise. He may have looked elsewhere, but you'd made a soft shushing noise that drew his eye.

That shushing sound was followed by a tired sigh when Sam lifted a brow at you as he went about helping you rearrange the blanket so you could strap in but remain covered. "I wish I knew, Sam," you replied to that lifted brow and Bucky wished he knew why he didn't believe you.

You sat in the sand and watched the ocean crash against the shore, letting the sound soothe you. Feeling hot and itchy most days, thanks to your experience at the hands of the weird cult that had abducted you, this was often the only peace you could find. Most days saw you driving down from the house in the mountains to sit here and let the wind and the waves ease your mind and soothe the soul.

Today, however, you couldn’t seem to settle, upset by the conversation you’d had with Steve that morning. He’d wanted to apologize for overstaying their welcome, and assure you they’d be moving on soon.

After your rescue, they had come to stay with you in the house you’d inherited from your uncle. Tucked away in the heavily forested mountains of Oregon’s Coastal Range, it was big, secluded, and ideal for hiding five fugitives. You’d simply been happy to help, to give them a safe place to rest.

Now you were dealing with the fact that you didn’t want them to leave. You were chilled, sick at the thought of rattling around in the big house with nothing for company but your thoughts and the memory of what had happened in a house in upstate New York. You may have traveled three thousand miles to escape what had happened that night, but you couldn't escape what was now yours, whether you'd wanted it or not.

The soft hiss in your ear warned you that someone was approaching, but you were surprised when that someone flopped onto the cool sand next to you with a huff of irritation. "Huh. What a shitty day at the beach."

Damned if you knew why the surly bitch did it for you, but Bucky Barnes had charmed the fuck out of you by not being the least bit charming.

He wasn't mean, or rude, not by a long shot. He was unfailingly kind and polite and genuinely grateful for the shelter. You could see the good man underneath the pissiness, but Bucky was perpetually baffled and annoyed by most of the world around him. He never complained, really, but he regarded everything with a vaguely hostile skepticism. You could not understand why you thought him adorably sexy, the big, grumbly bastard.

"Good thing we’re not at the beach," you replied with a laughing sneer, your habitual attitude towards him as it prompted that ridiculous half-smile. You fucking adored that sly smirk. "We’re on a beach. We’re at the coast."

Bucky gave you his amused disgust face and made you melt. He picked up a handful of sand and held it up to let it run through his fingers in a rather accusatory fashion. You waved him away. "I would think a Broody McBrooderface like yourself would immediately get this."

You gestured at your surroundings, a lonely beach on a winter day in the Pacific Northwest. Clouds covered the sky and boiled over the sea, turning the waves into a stormy bluish gray that reflected in the eyes of the man that watched you with a reluctant fascination. The wind whipped around you both, tumbling his hair around his sculpted face and making you think of the covers of trashy romance novels from an earlier era. Moody and bleak, a cold winter day at the coast was made for Bucky Barnes.

A long, charged pause as he stared at your profile in disgusted astonishment.

"What?"

You couldn't stop the snort at the sound of pure stupified horror in his voice. You didn't know which part of what you said he found objectionable, but the insult of something clearly offended him. You didn't usually get this much reaction out of him, so you had to assume it was the new nickname.

"The beach," you replied snottily, "is where you go to relax in the sun or swim in the ocean." You tilted your head to fix him with an intense stare. "But we’re in the ring of fire, Bucky, and the ocean doesn’t play with the shore here. We’re at the coast, where the sea meets the land with force." You gestured out at the dark waves as they continued to crash and pound on the sand, curls of violent energy breaking upon the shore. "The beach is for fun; the coast is where you go to brood."

With that, you uncrossed your arms and placed your hands at your sides on the cold, dry sand behind you, bracing yourself as you leaned back, a smirk on your lips. You loved informing him of opinions as though you had just bested him with facts. The way his lips tightened when he was holding back laughter made your heart gallop.

Your breathing joined your heart in its race and sped as well when Bucky's eyebrow quirked in addition to the happiness that gathered in the corners of his lips. "Broody McBrooderface?" he asked, doubt collecting in his eyes and his furrowed brow. His voice was still rich with the disgust that had characterized his earlier question. The combination made you sputter with mirth before giving up and dissolving into a fit of laughter. You fell back onto the sand to wrap your hands around your middle and hold on as you cackled and snickered.

When you calmed enough to look at Bucky, he'd shifted so that he was leaning on one arm, turned towards you to grin delighted at your laughter. He was so pretty, white teeth against the dark brown of his beard, thick hair tumbled in the wind around him. You hoped you didn't look as starry eyed as you felt. Some days it was harder than others to not bodily tackle the man, but it seemed tacky, not to mention gross, to accost a houseguest.

His satisfied smirk turned into a look so hot with promise you could feel it in your toes. "So you don't wanna go skinny dipping?"

You laughed even as you cringed, your body tightening at the memory of underestimating the Pacific Ocean's wilder moods on visits to your uncle during your childhood. You shook your head as a chill at the thought ran down your spine. "I double-dog dare you to jump in that water." Bucky crooked another brow and then surprised you by leaping to his feet in a move shockingly graceful in its deadly arc. He was off in a run in the very next second towards the waves. You sat up to shout after him but he was faster than you'd thought possible. "But don’t say I didn’t warn you about the FROSTBITE!"

If he hesitated for a second, you didn't see it. Fully clothed in the athletic wear he’d donned to run down to the beach, he leapt over a terrifying curving beast of a wave into the now dark gray and, you expected, freezing cold water. You got to your feet to follow him to the edge where the sea lapped at the shore, a little wary to find out how the grumpy super-soldier would react to the Pacific's bite.

The two of you argued all the way back to your car.

"The least you could do is give me a ride back to the house." Bucky didn't seem like the water had really fazed him beyond pissing him off. He wasn't shivering, his teeth weren't chattering, but his jaw was set in severe irritation and his eyes blazed with banked anger. He was so fucking hot it made you crazy.

"My seats will get soaked." You couldn't help it; he was so sexy when he looked like he wanted to murder the world. You didn't know what was wrong with you, but the way he was striding up the beach toward the parking lot where you'd left your car made you shudder with lust. You had to fuck with him a little more, irritate him just that little bit extra. Maybe it was because of what had happened to you, but you needed to toss a little more gasoline on the fire. "I only brought a towel for sand, not for swimming. Besides, I told you it was cold as fuck; you jumped in anyway."

"I can't run home like this, I'm fucking freezing." The look Bucky shot you was so vicious, your heart kicked in response, but in desire rather than fear. He was perfectly bristly and annoyed now, his bright blue eyes blazing and his sculpted cheeks flushed with temper. You could eat him alive.

"You should have thought of that before you jumped in an ocean that is obviously not into your shit right now.” You deliberately kept your tone and demeanor casual as you stopped at the water fountain at the top of the beach to rinse the sand off your feet. “It's not like I would have thought less of you if you'd stopped when I warned you about how cold it was."

Mostly clean and aware based on experience that mostly clean was the best you were going to do, you dropped the rubber flip-flops in your hand and slipped your wet feet into them as Bucky glared at you.

“I would have thought less of me,” he replied with a sneer that made you want to lean in and bite his plump lower lip. “I took a dare. I'll finish a dare.”

Unable to help yourself, you burst into delighted laughter, throwing your head back in the pure enjoyment of him as you nearly stumbled down the sidewalk toward your car. Bubbling and cheerful, the warm chuckles poured out of you until Bucky was grinning at you, albeit reluctantly.

You were somewhat calm by the time you got to your car. You turned to Bucky with a sparkling smile, the laughter still trembling on your lips and Bucky’s heart kicked in response this time.

“You’re fun, Bucky.” You leaned against the driver’s side door and grinned at him over the roof of the car. “A little bonkers, but fun.” Shooting him a sassy wink, you opened the door and slid in. “Fine, get in the car."

“I know this is a big ask.”

Bucky was sweating, but he was determined not to let you see that. He was asking a lot of you and he knew it. If he didn’t believe it was important, for you as well as himself, he’d never have had the courage.

“I’m really more confused.” Bucky made himself stop watching the way your lips shaped the words when you spoke, your eyes wary and your brow furrowed. “If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you want to go with them?”

He didn’t think you’d noticed how he watched you, fascinated by the curving whip of your movements, like flame had become part of you. He couldn’t help but focus on you, obsessed with both the magic and mystery of you. How could he stop himself when he could also hear your mutters under your breath? He was concerned yet intrigued by the admonishments to behave yourself.

He’d had numerous fantasies about misbehaving with you.

Bucky’s attention moved to the way your fingers fidgeted with the book in your lap. He couldn’t explain why, but he loved to watch you move. There was a grace and beauty there that he’d rarely seen and always treasured. He’d seen too much ugly and cruel to take anything as pretty or as kind as you were for granted. He'd made a study of you because it soothed him somehow to do so.

Your hands weren't fidgeting in agitation, concern, or fear; all of which he'd seen and memorized. Through trial and error he'd learned how to distract you from whatever had you picking at your cuticles in anxiety and, sometimes, something that looked perilously close to panic, but he could see that wasn't necessary now. You were fidgeting absently, the same way you had been for the entire conversation, not in response to his request.

Bucky was still a little struck by his daring in asking if he could stay when the others moved on. He hadn't known if he'd have the nerve when he walked to the little library where you often sat in the window seat so you could read with your face to the mountain air coming through the open window. But when you'd looked up with a smile when he'd poked his head in and asked for a minute, he'd known even if you said no, he could trust you to be gentle.

"I don’t want to fight anymore."

By the way your eyebrows flew up and your lips parted before you paused, Bucky could see that you were as surprised by the blunt honesty of his answer as he was. But he was asking a lot of you and he knew it. Harboring an international fugitive was only the least of it. You knew his reputation, and that it was based on fact, yet you'd welcomed him into your home. He had to be honest with you if he was going to ask anything more than that already unimaginable kindness.

He smiled at you, but he couldn't stop the sadness, the exhaustion of a century's worth of years from quivering around his mouth. Your eyes, scanning his face under those expressive eyebrows, softened and your lips twisted with wry sympathy. "Of course you don't. Why would you?"

Bucky relaxed back into the plush little sofa where he'd taken the seat you'd offered when he started this conversation. He now knew it was going to be reasonably painless. Something about you almost always put him at ease within only a few minutes in your company. Maybe it was the way you listened to him, both the things he said, and the things he could only speak around.

Somehow he always ended up saying more than he'd intended.

"I didn’t volunteer, you know." You tilted your head in question, so he continued, not sure where the words were coming from. "Not like Steve, who wanted in so bad he kept trying to get past the physical. I was drafted." Bucky laughed a little and lifted his hands to rub them over his face, dragging them through his hair before threading his fingers together behind his head. "I just wanted to settle down to a normal life and try to keep my best friend from dying from one of the thousand things trying to kill him. Instead…" As he trailed off he shrugged and noticed your eyes drop to his chest in what he would swear was appreciation.

The corner of Bucky's mouth was lifting in a crooked half-smile when your eyes flicked to his. Bright and intense, he felt pinned by your gaze as the still forming grin fell from his face. "Instead you got to be a prisoner of war for sixty-odd years," you said, your voice full of the wry sympathy that still lived in the slight curve to your lips, "only to discover that things are still trying to kill your best friend?" In the next instant, that searing stare was gentle with understanding, your eyes warm with concern. "You're a little fucking tired?"

Bucky huffed out another of those little laughs, the only kind he really had these days. A little fucking tired was an understatement if he'd ever heard one, but the fact that you saw that so easily explained why he was even asking this of you. "You get it," he said, that half-smile coming back in a sweeter form. "That's why I'd like to stay here, actually." Your lips had started to curve in response to the little half-laugh, even that much heard only occasionally, when the warmth in his face sparked an answer in yours, charming you with the little glimpse of sweetness under all the salt.

Bucky's breath caught a little at the look on your face, the way the movement of your hands had smoothed as you absently toyed with the hardback still in your lap. He could see you relax by degree in his presence and wondered if you were as soothed by his company as he was by yours. "I don't want you to think you have to say yes," he heard coming out of his mouth, more honesty he couldn't help, but he didn't want you to feel pressured. "I'd rather stay here in the States, but I'm not homeless if it doesn't work for you. If it's a no, I promise, no hard feelings. I have another option lined up. I understand if you don't want to stay alone with a man you barely know."

He was starting to worry based on the soft, gentle look that remained on your face. You normally smirked and teased him, poking at his gruff exterior with a playfulness that had charmed him completely. You may not have known it, but you had him firmly wrapped around your fingers. This tenderness made him afraid you were about to let him down easy. He braced himself for rejection.

"Alright," you murmured thoughtfully, your eyes kind if shrewd as they rested on his face. He wondered what you saw when you looked at him, how much you saw beneath the surface. "If you wanna stay, we'll have to have a few ground rules, a couple of understandings."

Bucky's face lit up in surprised delight as his heart began to pound. He hadn't really expected you to say yes, and so hadn't prepared for the rush of excitement and satisfaction that ran through him at the prospect of getting to know you without feeling like he was being watched by his friends. His heart speeding a little, a hot shudder of anticipation working through him at the prospect, he shot you a bright and reckless grin. "I was afraid you were gonna say that."

Something dark and hungry moved in a flash over your face. Bucky's heart raced in answer despite his uncertainty that he'd even seen the lightning fast emotion. He wanted to be your friend first, but he couldn't deny he'd found inside himself a well of desire for you so deep he'd yet to find the bottom. He could only hope you felt some fraction of that for him.

"First and most important understanding," as you spoke your eyes flattened and your mouth tightened, your gaze on his face reminding him of the first time he'd seen you, "I am not afraid of you." The words were a warning, not a threat, but the hair on the back of Bucky's neck stood up. "If you're going to live here for the foreseeable," you continued, your face softening again into something lonely and sad, "I need to be clear on this point. I have no reason, whatsoever, to be afraid for my own safety. Not anymore."

The hollow tone to your voice was a chilling counterpoint to the fingers wrapped in white-knuckled terror around your book. Bucky could see you were trying to tell him that you were still dangerous, despite how deceptively harmless you looked when not bathed in flame.

"The fire?" Bucky didn't know he still had that much tenderness inside him for anyone, but he could hear the gentle sympathy in the two words clearly. By the tentative smile teasing the corners of your mouth, you could hear it, too.

"I would tell you if I thought you weren't safe." You looked sick with worry that he'd reject you and Bucky could see that he was right; the two of you needed each other. You went on in a little rush, your eyes dipping to your hands still clutching the book in your lap. You frowned as you spoke and he watched you deliberately uncurl your fingers as though you were carefully calming yourself. "I don't believe you're in any danger here. I will absolutely tell you if that changes."

Bucky always preferred when people were matter of fact in their questions about him and his issues. He figured he should start there and see how you responded. "Can you control it?" he asked, his voice unconcerned, his posture unchanging from his easy sprawl against the corner of the couch.

Apparently, you also liked plain speaking as you smiled a little more, this time with a wry exasperation that piqued his interest. "Some. More persuade."

Bucky's heart throbbed as he asked the question he knew you'd least like to answer. He wished he didn't feel like he had to, but he needed to know how not to incite the blaze. His voice soft as a whisper, as tender as a touch, "What set it off that night?"

The look on your face sent a chill down Bucky's spine, your eyes empty and cold and nothing like the warmth he'd come to expect and adore. Your voice as hollow as he'd ever heard it, you answered with just enough information to somewhat explain. "Joseph was going to hurt me."

Upon your recovery from the forest surrounding the house in upstate New York where you'd been held against your will, it had become clear that you'd been snatched up by one of the occult offshoots that often split from HYDRA. As HYDRA was itself founded as an occult offshoot of the Nazi war machine, it wasn't really a surprise that it so often shed more of the same. The one that had taken you, however, had apparently been particularly weird and cultish, the leader, Joseph, convinced of his own superiority and seeking the power he believed to be his due. You hadn't spoken much of what had happened to you while held captive by them, by him, but Bucky could recognize pain and trauma when they were right in front of him.

"Since I won't be hurting you," he said gently, the words both reassurance and promise, "it shouldn't be a problem." When your eyes, blurred with memory, focused back in on his face, Bucky's lips curved slightly, the smile sweeter than any he'd given you yet.

Your lips curved in response as a soft sigh that didn't come from you whispered at the edge of Bucky's hearing. His ears perked even as he kept his eyes on yours, his expression betraying nothing but the warm appreciation he always had for you. The next moment, however, his attention was caught and held by the grin you flashed, sparkling and friendly. "That's what I was thinking," you chirped and looked happier than he'd ever seen you.

The sight had his body tightening in lust even as his heart squeezed. Bucky had always been a romantic with a love of making a pretty girl smile. Being able to make you smile like this made him feel like he was getting another piece of himself back. Still, he wanted you to know that you could trust him with more than just your physical safety.

"Do you wanna tell me about it?" he offered, his voice gentle again.

"Maybe," you said, and Bucky cursed himself when your smile dimmed. You shrugged and looked back down at your hands where they'd tried to tense around the book. "I might need to. You gonna tell me about you?"

"Some." He answered quickly, without hesitation, though he grinned sheepishly when your eyes lifted to his in suspicion. "Probably."

When your eyes remained narrowed on his even as the corners of your mouth twitched with suppressed humor, Bucky narrowed his eyes back at you. To his surprised delight, that sparkling smile came back. You stretched the denim clad legs you'd had curled under you out and relaxed into the pillow at your back.

"Then rule number one," you said cheerily, an interesting heat in your eyes, "is that you continue to be your usual hostile self. It revs my engine." The cheer on your face took on a darker edge, your smile more like a dare. Bucky's eyes narrowed once again, but this time his gaze glittered with desire, with the urge to take that dare.

"Does it?"

You bit your lower lip as his voice rumbled through the air and into you. Bucky could swear he saw goosebumps erupt over the skin of your arms when he spoke, the desire riding him clear in that quiet question.

You laughed, a little breathless, and grinned at him, a cheeky taunt all over you. He was dazzled by the flash of your smile, the sparkle in your eyes, the whipping movements of your hands as you gestured while you spoke. "Rule number two is that you make yourself at home." You pointed a mock stern finger at him and made him smile. "Don't be a houseguest or stand on ceremony. I want you to be genuinely comfortable. If you have to stay under house arrest for now, you should be able to do so as painlessly as possible."

There you went being sweet and kind in addition to being sexy and adorable. Bucky didn't know if he could take it. He was beginning to think he was in over his head but he couldn't find a thing not to like about it.

"Steve keeps me in line." Bucky smirked as he teased. "Once he's gone I'll make you regret that."

You looked delighted with him and Bucky could have wept with gratitude. Spending time with you was helping him remember parts of himself he'd thought long dead, like the boyish flirt he'd once been, but he was equally grateful that he seemed to be good for you, too.

"Okay," you purred as you smirked back at him, "in case Steve has kept you in line in other ways, rule three is you clean up after yourself. I will be very annoyed if you start leaving dirty dishes or clothes around once he's gone." One eyebrow lifted in mock warning and Bucky could have cuddled you.

"He’s the slob, actually." Bucky huffed out a laugh and shook his head. "You're making this too easy, doll."

He couldn't be sure, but for a moment you looked shy and a little vulnerable. Bucky's heart squeezed again as he quivered with the conflicting desires to both ravage and protect. When you glanced at him from under bashful lashes, he felt torn between.

"Am I?" The murmur of your voice was rich with something dark and exciting, something that lit up his ear and made his stomach tighten.

Bucky's voice was husky on his reply as he offered both clarification and escape route. He wanted everything on the table before the negotiations came to a close. "Any other rules?" His face spread in a hot, almost feral grin, one that left no doubts as to what rules he was asking about. "Any other lines you don’t want crossed?"

The corner of your mouth lifted in a grin equally hungry, equally reckless. "Nothing comes to mind." Your eyes reminded him of sultry whispers, heated words. "I think we can play it by ear from there."

Bucky felt his heart race in exhilaration and wondered what he'd gotten himself into. He couldn't wait to find out. "I’m happy to dance to your tune."

Part Two here >>

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