#also reblogs SHOULD be turned off
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Smiles so big and so so wide. I look like myself! I feel like myself! HUGE FOR ME
my top surgery scars are coming along really well :-)
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#fratbro standing in a gym mirror taking a photo of himself ass photos#to be entirely honest#but i think i looked nice from that angle#honestly i look like the kinda guy a grandma would pinch the cheeks of and go 'awwwhhh!! arent you just such a handsome young man!!'#which is. my life goal of course#anyway face blur of course. i am just a guy on the internet#if youve spoken to me you probably Already know what i look like#but my. checks following. holy shit all of those people dont need to know lmao#also my hair was wet from showering. i dont put a metric shitton of gel in it#it was just wet !#also reblogs SHOULD be turned off#but id appreciate if nobody reblogged this ^_^ just for my sanity's sake#you can comment on it if youd like ofc like you can interact#just dont want this spreading/leaving my general friends lmao
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Oooo I've been wondering when Critical Role was gonna decide that YouTube and Twitch weren't viable long-term hosting options. I don't really have thoughts yet except that let's be real. I'm sooo biased on the name. :3
#i don't have a ton of thoughts yet but i do think that in the long run they absolutely needed to be moving in this direction anyway#critical role#reblogs are on for now but knowing fandom spaces just be aware that i WILL turn them off if i have to#okay but also. @ cr you should also make dvd sets of the full campaigns. i would pay for that. just saying.#plsssss i need my specialest guys in physical format#i am BEGGING
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I can’t include them all so here’s a combo of ‘came to mind first,’ ‘talked about positively most often by fans,’ and ‘stuck in my head’.
Public Apology Big Iron isn’t here. There were a lot that didn’t make the cut but that one specifically I stg I put in and only realized after posting had not. It was 100% meant to be on this list and I’ve failed us.
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fallout 4#fallout 76#tumblr polls#I know I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire should be here bc it was a trailer song but I don’t really like it so Heartaches by the Number#made it instead I’m sorry ✊😔#I FORGOT BIG IRON. that’s a sincere mistake I stg it was 2 on the list SHIT#why are you people so agreassive??? it’s not a ‘best fo song’ poll it’s not even a ‘favorite fo song’ poll it’s literally just a ‘pick a#song and hit a button fun time??? stop yelling in the tags about songs that aren’t there there are 12 slots on a poll I don’t control this#make your own stupid post and get rocks thrown at /you/ for only having 12 songs. also some of you can’t read ‘why isn’t X on’ IT IS!!! some#of the ones you’re complaining about are ThERE read#I’m gonna turn off reblogs and delete this maybe Jesus Christ it’s not even a competition it’s a song blunt rotation can’t you all be friend#ly about anything? Tu
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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like “you'll never understand what it's like to be a victim”#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see “trans elders” going on about how “if you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i am” i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
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i have at this point gotten three people in my notes going "i volunteer at a crisis center and this is misinformation!" (a) literally what about my post is misinformation. op was kind of sloppily phrased bc i didn't expect ppl to reblog it but "most hotlines call the cops sometimes, here are some that do that Never" is just true information (b) fuck OFF. check my blog. i'm a psychiatric survivor you're not going to convince me that calling the cops to forcibly institutionalize people is totally okay when you do it and it's so irresponsible of me to discourage people from getting help. maybe i should add that in bold letters to the top of my pinned post (or temporarily pin a different post?) until this post dies down.
i just. it's not ~spreading misinformation~ to say that you do the things you admit to doing. (one of the people was actually denying that crisis lines did that but in a way that was...trivially disprovable? so im not sure what that was about lmao. and then the other two were straightup "YES we call the cops sometimes but only when we HAVE to so it's NOT BAD, stop spreading MISINFORMATION")
also 2/3 blocked me and the third is just going through my notes and reblogging all the people who disagreed with me without actually responding to me.
#i should probably turn off notifs but i know i wont. i need to see what everyone says. im too nosy#but im tired of ppl trying to explain to me why forced institutionalization is Good Actually#and that it's /spreading misinformation/ to ... say that they do that and offer crisis line resources that don't do that#also got 2 people in my notes defending forced institutionalization w/out saying im spreading misinfo#but that bothers me less for whatever reason#like ok sure disagree with me. whatever. im not /lying/#idk. it's getting to me. i just wanted to reblog a post i saw a few months ago#i didnt want one of my psychiatryposts to break containment like this#i know. i KNOW. that the majority of reblogs are still positive. that im helping people . but Ow#therapists dni
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sorry to beat a dead horse but aye i truly do not get what people are on about when they act like it's sexist to question the motives or do a more sympathetic reading of female antagonists (so, really just curlfeather and mapleshade) instead of "just letting them be pure evil like the male characters are".
like "we have shallow flat evil male characters who are evil for the sake of being evil, but not the equivalent for female characters, so surely we need to balance it out" well, uh. we don't have compelling, consistent, sympathetic female antagonists either! we are lacking in the morally grey female characters department too! what is being robbed!! and have you seen how the fandom used to talk about thistleclaw? people are going to be looking into sympathetic reasoning behind the male characters anyways! hell, canon does it sometimes! and this is completely ignoring the context of every sexist writing decision that exists in canon that is inevitably going into the writing of these characters and the people around them. you can't fix warrior cats fandom sexism by embracing the books at face value or hell, even stripping away even MORE nuance from them somehow, because the books themselves are also sexist LMFAO
yes, warrior cats needs more female villains. i don't think it's sexist that we don't need to read every vaguely antagonistic woman as cackling irredeemable monsters who drink kitten blood and were simply born into this world to kill people though, i think that take is honestly baffling.
(also, a lot of discussions about wc character morality in general tend to forget that fictional characters are not real people they are making callout posts about and are instead the authors trying to say or do something within a story they're telling. someone suggesting that curlfeather loved her daughter or that mapleshade is a victim of the warrior code is not enabling them to do more bad things to other people it is engaging with the story being told)
#spitballing off of a widok skinwretch post i just saw and also the recent mapleshade twitter discourse rehash#not putting reblogs on bc im not happy with my phrasing of this post so i dont want it going around as is#i hate being misconstrued or not addressing every nuance it's why every post i make on twitter turns into a thread#here i can just make super underbaked posts and delete em later if i want. it's fine#also i PROMISE im no shadowboxing strawmen here LOL im just exaggerating quite a lot#in regards to 'why do people defend curlfeather or mapleshade' takes mostly#curlfeather is basically girl mudclaw (VERY VAGUELY) in terms of actions but the discourse is entirely different#also the dark forest is horrifying and does not work in any constructive way. i dont think anybody should be going there#and entirely unrelated besides one single mention but callout posts are bad 99.9% of the time. ok bye
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If the sky falls down right now, you're the one that I'll worship...
#turned off reblogs bc if i start posting art for notes it's over for me i don't think my brain can handle it#bad enough that i weigh my worth on interactions with my fics i don't need that carried over to oc art KJSBDVJKDBFV#this is just for me and the few people who are interested in these two idiots /affectionate#and for those specific ppl: umbrius is taller still than this - his knees are just bent to give chuuya an easier time <3#also i finally remembered chuuya's freckles i keep forgetting about them. nearly forgot umbrius' scars too WHOOPS#anyway i fought with this for like a week (more?) so i figured i'd put it up here for at least a little while#c/u#i should give chuuya more earrings so that there's always at least one visible no matter what his hair is doing... hm....
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#nintendo#kirby#fanfiction#snapshot since OP turned off reblogs :////#but yes OP should also drop the link#I wanna see!!#although it's weird to see Kirby dialogue that is anything but POYO
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Pinup!!!!! the baby!!!! the guy!!!!
sorry if this looks kinda iffy the majority of this was drawn between 11pm and 2:30am so i was very tired loll
also yes that is a totoro bag i dont care if totoro doesnt exist in cyber city he has a totoro bag come at me
Pinup belongs to @turntableart
#read all the tags before you reblog otherwise you will be confused#i feel like i got the body type wrong uaughhh#i feel like the proportions are inaccurate#im blaming it on the clothes i promise the sketch looked good then the clothes went and ruined it#i feel really bad admitting this but now that i think about it i literally never draw chubby characters#all my addisons are pretty long and gangly for the most part and then spamton is just very small in my style hes not really pudgy#and tbh i didnt really draw full bodies very often before addisons and spamton but my one (1) oc was also pretty long and lanky#probably because i myself am pretty long and lanky#ueuugough hauguh#i need to practice more#also i feel like the shoes look weird#im generally not too happy with it but its ok ig#i was terrified of making the features too exaggerated and being offensive and i think i went to much the other way and just made him skinn#ffs#ill draw him again i promise#and it will look better pinky promise#🤙🤙🤙 theres no proper pinky emoji#i love him tho hes cute#i really like his original design#uururuguggg#ugh debating whether i should even post this or if i should keep tinkering with it#im gonna tinker with it a bit more i will continue writing tags when im done#ok tinkering over im much happier with it now#i made him a bit shorter and that solved all my problems#i think i have a habit of drawing characters too tall ngl lmao#also not too happy with the rendering but its good enough#uh im only posting the tinkered version that im happy with so if you want the untinkered version then just ask lol#pixel art#art#turn off the lights arg
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idk what woman or similarly gendered nonbinary person needs to hear this, but if you feel actual distress, frustration, discomfort, etc. at the thought of being attracted to men, or being with men in a sexual or romantic context--if you genuinely feel this way and you hide it behind "haha sucks that i like men lol" jokes--you honestly should consider lesbianism.
#dichromaticdyke.exe#because i've seen some posts going around about how people shouldn't feel ashamed to like men or anything and i agree#especially wrt men or similarly gendered nonbinary people--mlm or nblm attraction is good and should be celebrated#but like. if you make those kinds of “gross i like men haha” jokes a LOT as a woman or similarly gendered nonbinary person#you should investigate why#because you might be a lesbian#and if you're not! that's totally fine. but you as a woman or similarly gendered nonbinary person should not feel ashamed to like men#that's like the status quo lol so if there's genuine negative feelings there then there might be a reason#and i've seen a lot of posts lately talking about how having shame towards like men is radfem thinking and i disagree#i think that could be a reason why people feel that way but it could also be (pause for dramatic effect)#compulsory heterosexuality and internalized lesbophobia#some people genuinely don't like men please remember that#anyway reblogs are available on this post. for now. but the second i get bad faith actors in the notes i'm turning them off.#be normal please
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Barbie seeing a man: 😐👍🏻
Barbie seeing a woman: 😊🥰😘
#shes just like me for real#and by that i mean shes a lesbian#an argument could be made for ace lesbian but undeniably (to me) a lesbian#should i also turn off reblogs for this? i think this one is safe but at the 1st sign of an unsolicited opinion ill do it#people get extremely defensive about anyone headcanon-ing any character as a lesbian i wonder why#barbie#barbie spoilers
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ooooh aaah my first anonymous hate mail!
now i know i said i'd post this sort of stuff publicly to shame the sender, but i'm faaaaiiirly sure this is a kid. so! i'm not gonna post it, or engage, and have in fact already deleted it, because i really really suspect it's a kid.
i'll address one part: about me not tagging my work.
like many other things in the ask, that's an outright lie. i actually do my best to tag comprehensively and liberally, and if you're hatescrolling my blog you already know my tag for the shipaganza in particular is this: 🎀💖
i have put this tag (again, it's 🎀💖) on every post related to the shipaganza. even the explicitly non-romantic, platonic ones (like bandee's and kirby's) and the what the heck is that? ones (like marx's) so that people can liberally avoid it for any number of reasons. i'm just doing this event for fun, and want it to be fun for people viewing the work as well!
i also make it clear regularly that earnest folks can ask me to tag anything in particular and i will do so. however, i cannot control what tags are used on a post once it leaves my blog, so i recommend that you use this handy feature
to make sure you never have to see any of my content ever again, no matter who else might reblog it onto your feed!
if that's not enough and you're still finding mentions of me on your timeline (such as when other people @ me), you can also apparently use "filtered post content" and just put my username in there. now i haven't tried that in particular, but it seems comprehensive as it searches the entire post for instances of a phrase. here are the instructions on how to do that.
anyway! i hope these steps successfully help you to never see my content or mentions of me ever again!
#the other very important aspect of blocking me if you don't like me is that i won't accidentally interact with one of YOUR pieces.#that would be uncomfortable and embarrassing for everybody! 👍#i will also say that i have turned off anonymous asks for a while to let this person chill out a bit as i'm not interested in engaging.#normal asks are still open and i'm sure i'll reopen anons eventually#i'm sorry to have to turn them off during the shipaganza in particular! i really love receiving your prompts!#(edit: apparently i can just turn reblogs off! so i did that! no worries.)#i don't want to risk drawing any further attention to the kid and it really only applies to my blog anyway!#should i tag this one anything? negativity? i didn't post the ask itself so it's probably okay but lmk!
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The scariest thing about being the same person for 5 years straight is that some people are 5 years older than when I met them. This is extra scary because if I assume no one was using tumblr despite being below 13, that means they're all legal adults now every single one all of them that's bonkers. You used to be 13. How could this happen.
#brought to you by remembering how when people say “kids age 12-15” or whatever I think of the girl I met when she was 14#but she's turning 19 this year she's literally not representative of the generation currently at that age#“15 year olds are super computer illiterate” “that can't be right my friend was using Linux for years at 15” then I realize#man being mid twenties is wild my perception of time just gets worse since when is 5 years so short that's still a decent chunk of my life??#even worse is ppl born in 2000 are even older than her??? no way they should be like 14 at most and ideally 8 or below I think.#what do you mean they're turning 24.#also I need to ask myself what year it is to remember my own exact age uhh I was 22 recently I think hmm nope that's several years off.#sfw#personal#ok to reblog
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I hit a sort of follower milestone recently (and I'm reasonably sure most of you aren't bots) so... new pinned post time!
(to all the followers and moots I see in my notifs all the time - I love you all so much ♡)
▷ First of all:
I made horizon-armor and you should check it out if you've ever wanted a gallery of all Aloy's armor and dye options from HFW :D Here's a previous pinned post about it. This ↑ is the card I made for it in the Horizon Database, which is not mine but you should also check out if you're interested in gameplay mechanics/tips/tricks/practically any info you ever wanted to know about HFW. (the database was put together by twingeofregret on Arktix's discord, and many of the items there were put together by other server members)
▷ Second, I don't think it needs saying? But DON'T REPOST - meaning, don't reupload in your own post - any of my work and don't upload it to any other sites. Yeah this is "only" virtual photography but I still spend time on it and it's mine. Please don't, for anyone's creations. Reblog or share links!
▷ Thirdly, absolutely feel free to use my pics as drawing/art references or personal phone backgrounds! (But please don't edit my shots and repost them.) If you use things as references I'd love to be tagged so I can see what you drew/painted/whatevered <3
...the rest below a cut because I don't know how to be brief...
▷ Fourth: I would very much appreciate anyone who wants to add image descriptions to my posts - I know it's a sucky excuse but when I've tried doing it I just end up exhausted and feel like it's either too longwinded or not a good description at all. So if anyone who is good with words would like to help me out I'd be super grateful! I'll reblog your addition and (if you're cool with it) I can add it to the alt text of the image.
▷ Fifth: With the more-real-than-ever possibility of Tumblr imploding, I thought I'd also include where else you might find me! I'm not going anywhere until this place melts down because Tumblr is the only place I've ever felt comfortable, but I also have an account on Reddit (ew) that I use occasionally: I'm robo_dino_puppy there. I put Horizon videos on YouTube sometimes: I'm robo-dino-puppy over there too. I exist on Discord although it's rather... social for me and honestly I'm still not sure if I'm doing it right haha. I guess I should make an effort to join more servers to keep track of people just in case, but I've always felt like I'd be a fraud or an invader with the ship servers because I don't actually ship Aloy with anyone...
As a backup for the armor gallery I've snagged horizon-armor (and robo-dino-puppy, for that matter) on Neocities, but there's nothing there at the moment because I'm currently waaaaay too braindead to create a site from scratch. Also empty right now, but in case of future need I'm squatting on robo-dino-puppy on Dreamwidth and Pillowfort.
And now thanks to a kindly-provided invite, robo-dino-puppy on Bluesky!
aaaaand finally I'm also @robo-dino-puppies if you're interested in my non-Horizon stuff/reblogs/my sideblog 👀
#pinned post#maintenance#text post#also my asks are open and i think i'm pretty friendly so... lmk if there's something else i should cover!#*good god* i hope tumblr doesn't disappear because it's been a part of my life for so long#i love maintaining this blog as a scrapbook of my ridiculously excessive captures folder#and tumblr is the only 'social' media i've ever felt comfortable on - mainly because i can avoid being actually social hah#turned off reblogs for this one just because it's very much pinned-post-y and maybe i'll update it at some point#but if you need to for some reason you can reblog the past pinned post about the gallery!
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i should probably make ( or remake ) a friendgroup hangout server for tumblr mutuals adn the like but i am so fucking sapped of energy that i dont feel like it and am overly paranoid ab stupid friendgroup drama happening Again . also my trackpad being half broken all the time prob doesnt help
#aria talkz#i should probasbly turn my asks back on i just stopped bc it kept being like... the one notorious scammer for like. whats it called#whatever the medicines called . that one .#but im also paranoid . what if someone kills me .in my asks. ( nobody will#Sometimes i still think ab when i got asked if i was proship at the age of like 14 on tumblr like . ????#thoughts aside if you ever want to talk to me and we're like. regular mutuals..(???) (idk reblog from eachother regularly. i guess) then i#do like. exist. i just dont have asks on so itd be only dms ig . or discord if i trusted you enough and thought you were cool enough#which basically just means 'match my energy enough to where i am comfortable talking to you 1 on 1'#i very much love being asked about my interests or ocs . that is the easiest way to talk to me personally i just have asks off rn#ive locked in before on making new friends and actively trying to get involved in shit im interested in its just scary after .#back to back to back friendgroup drama trauma . lol the rhyme.#i met most of my friends on ponytown but i also lost like most of the friends i met on there . lol
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there's a point at which someone's fear of being a dick wraps back around to them just being a dick anyways
#im side-eyeing those who reblogged my post on ethnocentrism and missed the point#but im also thinking about the tags i saw on being too scared to comment on fic#the first is being ~too scared~ to write cultures other than their own#(1. my point was people should be learning *as they watch the show* not just when they write#2. i just. jfC. stop saying youre too scared to *try* to write from another culture/POV different from your own as tho its a *good* thing)#the second is just annoying/frustrating because being too scared to participate in community is how community's die#i dont want to be dismissive of cancel culture because i do know the stories and there is always indv cases of a person ready to be a dick#but like. its just *not* a thing most people have to be worried about. very likely you're just not big enough to have that concern.#anxiety's no joke but like. u dont just accept the anxiety as the excuse. you have to challenge it. i've been there but u cant feed it.#and i dont want to sound dismissive of that anxiety but im really frustrated with seeing people throw that excuse around#without considering how their fear-based attitudes/actions come off in turn#such as not showing fandom creatives any appreciation for fear of saying the ~wrong~ thing#which comes off as creatives' stuff seeming to be ignored completely or otherwise very discouraging silence#when the only rule for tags/comments is to treat others the way you wish to be treated and apologize if you accidentally tread a toe#and being more worried about accidentally stepping on a theoretical persons toe than interested in showing actual people gratitude#like? pretty sure im not the only one side-eyeing that like ''have u really considered this feeling/logic????''#again: its not saying that anxiety isnt a dick or easy to dismiss but i am saying maybe challenge it or at least reflect on it#i just#blahh#the commenting thing is way more mild than the other but tags arent for that conversation and i need a much better brain space for that one
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