#made it instead I’m sorry ✊😔

[ziracona]

I can’t include them all so here’s a combo of ‘came to mind first,’ ‘talked about positively most often by fans,’ and ‘stuck in my head’.

Public Apology Big Iron isn’t here. There were a lot that didn’t make the cut but that one specifically I stg I put in and only realized after posting had not. It was 100% meant to be on this list and I’ve failed us.

[falafelluva]

Hey giirrrlll, I’m not sure if your comfortable writing about this but if you are could you write kenan coming home and he walks in on the reader having a panic attack and he talks her through it, calming her down, cuddling and kissing her.

Ty ☺️

; 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄 - 𝘬.𝘺𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘻 ✮

summary: the req

warnings: panic attack, crying n shizzle

author’s note: I wish I had a man do this for me bro, only person I got doing this for me is my mom whenever I panic in school😔✊

The soft glow of the setting sun streamed through the window as you sat curled up on the couch, an array of thoughts racing through your mind.

It had been a long day, filled with the pressures of life and an overwhelming sense of anxiety that crept in like a thief. You could feel your heart racing, each beat echoing in your ears.

It was as if the walls were closing in, and no matter how hard you tried to breathe deeply, the panic tightened its grip on you.

You had just started to feel the familiar signs of a panic attack when you heard the front door open. Kenan’s voice carried through the house, bright and cheerful as he announced his arrival. “Hey, babe! I’m home!”

His voice was a comfort, but you struggled to respond. Instead, you remained seated, your hands trembling slightly as you focused on your breathing, trying to rein in the rising tide of panic.

Kenan stepped into the living room, the warmth of his presence filling the space. He quickly noticed something was off.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” His tone shifted, concern lacing his words as he approached you.

You looked up, trying to muster a smile, but all that came out was a shaky breath. “I… I don’t know,” you stammered, your heart racing even faster at the vulnerability of the moment.

He knelt beside you, reaching out to gently take your hands in his. “Look at me,” he said softly, his gaze steady and reassuring.

“Just breathe with me. In and out.” He inhaled deeply, holding your gaze, and you felt your breathing start to sync with his.

As you followed his lead, he kept talking, his voice calm and soothing. “You’re okay. I’m here. Just focus on my voice, alright? Nothing else matters right now.” His fingers squeezed yours gently, grounding you.

You nodded, tears brimming in your eyes as you concentrated on him. Kenan shifted closer, his presence a comforting weight beside you.

“You’re safe with me,” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Let’s take it slow. In for four… hold for four… and out for four.”

Together, you breathed, the rhythm of your breaths becoming a soft melody that drowned out the chaos in your mind.

Kenan’s unwavering focus on you made the world outside fade away. As the panic began to subside, you leaned into him, seeking comfort in his warmth.

“Good,” he praised, a small smile breaking through his concern. “You’re doing great.”

After a few more breaths, the storm inside you started to calm, and you found solace in his presence. “I’m so sorry, Kenan,” you whispered, your voice shaky but more stable than before. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Shh, don’t apologize,” he interrupted gently, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. “We all have tough days. I’m just glad I’m here with you.”

He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, and you felt a wave of warmth wash over you, a sense of safety enveloping you like a comforting blanket.

You melted into his embrace, letting the love you felt for him chase away the remnants of fear.

As you settled against him, he continued to whisper sweet nothings, words of encouragement that helped ease your racing heart.

“You’re so strong, you know that? I admire you so much,” he murmured, brushing his fingers gently up and down your back.

“Thank you,” you breathed, feeling a mixture of relief and gratitude. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assured you, tilting your chin up so you could meet his gaze. “I’m right here, and I’m not leaving your side.”

You smiled softly, feeling the panic dissolve completely under his care. Kenan leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle, tender kiss that lingered just long enough to remind you of how much he meant to you.

As you pulled away, you noticed the warmth in his eyes, a reflection of the love and support he offered. “Let’s take it easy tonight,” he suggested, brushing his thumb along your cheek.

“We can watch your favorite show or just cuddle together. Whatever you need.”

You nodded, feeling lighter as you clung to him, grateful for his unwavering support. “I’d like that,” you said, your voice steadying.

With a smile, he stood up, still holding your hand, and helped you to your feet. Together, you made your way to the couch, his presence steadying you as you settled in beside him.

You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body against yours.

As the night unfolded, you found comfort in the little moments—the way Kenan laughed at your favorite scenes, how he would lean down to press kisses to your forehead every now and then, and the way he wrapped his arm around you protectively.

With him by your side, you felt safe, cherished, and ready to face whatever came next, knowing that together, you could handle anything.

[colourlikechampagne]

hiiii it’s me again 🤭 ANYWAY! OMG!! I was rereading your connect (bc yknow it’s SAUR good) — and I had a thought! 👀 so like the first alternate reality in Washington with h7 made me think of like college!enha au and wingwoman!mila who is trying way too hard to get della and the boys together 🤭🤭

🐻: “There’s no way they’d like me back—“

🐼: “Shhhhh!” ( aggressively puts finger to Della’s lips to shush her ) “It’s okay, trust me, I got this!” 😌

and then mila launches this huge elaborate plan with the help of alice where they try and stage “coincidental” meetings between them, and also just them hiding behind bushes watching della and the boys interacting and then high-fiving whenever they do anything remotely flirty 😆

it would be so funny 😆😆😆 sorry della, pls excuse my mila, she’s very chaotic and watches too many dramas so thinks she’s a love expert (she’s not) 😔✊

ANYWAY that’s all! sorry but I’m so delulu over the possibilities hope you’re okay with me idea dumping heheheh 🤭

hiii! idea dumping is 1000000% okay and appreciated! and i absolutely LOVE THIS IDEA OMGG though i’m a bit sad that mila is helping her ‘boyfriends’ get on with another girl in this universe ☹️ though this is sooo cutee!

imagine della just going nuts because she likes all seven of them instead of just one or two but it’s literally because mila and alice keep making sure that all seven members have their moment with her (and that all of them have feelings towards her as well) 🌝🤍

[saintobio]

hi saint this isn’t an ask about olal but of wastelands, so my question is if yn was the one that turned into a z instead of suna, how would have he reacted to it and what would he have done after yn turned (like would he have the heart to kill her or get bitten by her just to be in the afterlife together)

Anonymous said

the nostalgia over wastelands hits hard 😩 I remember the journey and the pain when the series was still ongoing, it was amazingly painful 😔✊

Anonymous said

Okay so idk if you answered this around the time you wrote wastelands but do we know if the dynamic between 'samu and yn changed? bc we know he looks after her due to rin's dying wish, so is he kinda like the father figure of yn's child? I'm just curious about how their lives changed after rin's dea- 😷 I still haven't accepted it bye😭😭💔

Anonymous said

HIIII SAINT!!! THIS IS OLD BUT NEVER TO ME, ITS STILL FRESH IN MY MIND. I read WASTELANDS LAST YEAR AUGUST AND READ IT AGAIN TODAY MORNING AND MY HEARTS BROKEN!!!! LEMME JUST TELL YOU HOW ITS ONE OF THOSE FICS WHERE YOU COULD NEVER FORGET IT EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO. ITS LIKE TATTOOED IN MY BRAIN AND yeh, I’ve been crying ever since. You broke my heart, crushed it further into million pieces and made me watch it. AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT/gen😭😭This fic is beautifulllll

Anonymous said

I JUST FINISHED WASTELANDS IK IM LATE BUT FUCK THAT WAS SO GOOD YOURE AMAZING (Currently sobbing my ass off right now but the way you write your angst is honestly just beautiful.)

Anonymous said

hi i just discovered wastelands and omg that shit put me through so many emotions that i had to stop functionally for a solid hour cos i could not sleep omg, this is the best sunarin fic i have ever read T.T thank you for your works

Anonymous said

omg i just watched all of us are dead and it gave me massive flashbacks of when you were writing wastelands - lmaoo u were so ahead of your time ‼️

Anonymous said

helllooo i just finished reading wastelands after i stumbled upon the commission fanart of suna. and omg the amount of tears and joy and all the different emotions i went thru while reading the entire series in one sitting, the way you wrote it was soooo good i was at the edge after every chapter, suna's letter made me SOB SOOO HARD, i had a withdrawal with life when suna died T.T and it also made me think that if there was a zombie apocalypse now i would never have a lover like rin around and would be killed off by the first hour. wastelands was sooo freaking good, can't believe im like a year late to this fic !

Anonymous said

saint… whenever i need a good crying session, i go to your blog and read wastelands 😭 it never gets old the pain is just so good there… i love wastelands!yn and rin so much <33

thank you sooo so much i’m sorry it took me awhile to answer wastelands asks 😭 i’ve been compiling them so i can post in one go but tyty!!! that series will forever me my fav <33

just realized i didn’t answer the first question if you didn’t remind me @sunasbabie HAHSJD if yn was the one who turned into a z, rin would let her do what she wants w him since he’s got no one left but her :’)

[bee-boppin]

2, 11, 15, 20 💖

Teehee thnk u for the ask brabby <3 ✨😚

2. Top 5 Books Of All Time (I’m choosing to go with books that were meaningful or formative for me throughout my life instead of my favorites because it adds some spice. Also I had to stop and restart multiple times because I realized I was writing paragraphs about each gfhfdgjk)

The Orphan of Ellis Island by Elvira Woodruff

Huge comfort book, read it during grief counseling because it was a gift from my dad. I don’t even remember what it was about but i was insane about it when I was 11

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Was assigned to me and one other kid with the same reading level in seventh grade and I was so mad, everyone else got cool YA novels and I was so jealous. Then I finished it in two days and didn’t shut up about it for weeks.

Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage

Counting the whole series as two books but my two favorites are Queste and Fyre. The septimus heap series is the reason I never read h*rry p*tter because I got a few chapters in and went “this wizard book fucking sucks why would I read this instead of *my* wizard book that Angie Sage wrote for me specifically” and I was so right it's such a fun series. The main character’s best friend is named Beetle. O Beetle Beetle. That’s his name. Also I had a crush on Marcia but ignore that.

Song of Myself by Walt Whitman

Some may hate on me for including a poem as a book but I don’t care. Made me cry in class, Bear can vouch. Good book.

11. What non-fiction books do you like if any?

I loooove big nonfiction books about like one specific topic with tons of pictures. Love to look at things love to see them. My astronomy text book has fold-out pages of super high-def pictures of space and I love it.

15. Recommend and review a book

I love to recommend recent books I’ve read so my most recent read I’d recommend is The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. I’m not gonna review it because I. Won’t shut up if I do. I have a seven page research essay abt it if u rlly want my thoughts dfgsfhs.

20. What are things you look for in a book?

I’m super particular about what I read because I lose interest in things so fast, so I love a book that challenges me. Any book that I find too predictable or lacking in depth I drop so fast. My bus driver wrote a book and he wanted me to review it and I never had the heart to tell him I got bored after the third chapter. Sorry Michael I’m sure it was a good book. ✊😔

[gerrydelano]

I think, a bit off tangent of the specifics of Georgie/Jon/Martin, another issue is that the ignoring canon mindset has also done a remarkable bit of damage to fandom, and TMA is no different. There has been willful, deliberately bad faith interpretations of canon with no critical thinking because they're just going to take it straight to fanfic anyways, they just need the characters and events, but everything else is basically just.. made up with the names given by the authors. Characters that might as well just be OCs because they refuse to even listen to canon.

Now, I'm all for ditching canon when it comes to fanfiction, but one of the wonders of fanfiction is exploring what was, what could've been, or facets/takes that maybe the canon didn't explore, but fandom just doesn't do that. Fandom consumes mindlessly, mauling that which it claims to love, which is ironic, considering TMA circles around capitalism and consumerist analogies.

In order to meaningfully detach from canon, you have to critically engage with the canon given. If you just take and take from canon without thinking critically about what canon is trying to say, then how can you meaningfully explore that which canon doesn't give us? This extends to interpreting characters. Georgie, Melanie, Martin, Oliver, Jon, Gerry, Elias, Jonah, Peter, Michael, Tim, Helen, etc. All of these characters butchered and taken out of who they are because fandom wanted to consume what would reinforce what they think the story is or what it should be, instead of engaging with what the media is actually saying.

I'm sorry this is so long, I just went off 💀. I tried to make this post accessible but idk if I did it right.

don’t worry about length, you’re good! i think for accessibility, my tip for you would be don’t do the colored text! i’m pretty sure i saw a post saying the colored text doesn’t pick up on screen readers, but even for those who don’t use them, it’s a little eye strain-y and difficult to read.

that said! i agree wholeheartedly with what you said here, yeah. there are definitely times you can say “fuck canon” but when you’re saying it to virtually every single thing, then, like... write your own stuff, man, i dunno. i don’t have that much more to add at 4:30 am but know i’m right there with you, stay strong 😔✊