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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 4 years ago

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AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!

#cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #ck #tag game #binary boyfriends #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #it's always sunny in philadelphia #iasip

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moonlightstars16 · 5 years ago

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Jam Bud’s Pocky Style

30 Days Connverse Challenge

Day 11 ~ Coffee and/or Tea

I stan and love green tea!

It was rare for either of them to have a day off. Especially at the same time. So the mornings were a bit more lazy. Getting up around 8 instead of 6 am. Having breakfast in bed while watching videos before doing various activities throughout the day.

Connie woke up patting the empty sheets beside her. Groaning she sat up with a stretch and looked around with a yawn. Seeing she was alone in the room, she walked got up and changed into something more comfortable. sweat-shorts, a cozy tank top and a silk bathrobe. Brushing her hair and washing her face then walking downstairs. The scent of pancakes, waffles, eggs, fruit and their favorite drink, green tea with a bit of lemon.

“Morning Steven” Her soft voice made him turn around from the stove with a spatula in hand and a smile. A hand holding out for hers as she accepted. Pulling her in for a gentle kiss briefly.

“Good morning Connie. I assume you slept okay?”

“No more finals, all classes canceled for a teacher event and having time to spend with you. I got the best sleep of my life.” A hand over her heart as she looked up in a dramatic fashion, like she had tears in her eyes. He chuckled, wrapping an arm around her waist as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Good to hear.”

“What about you?”

“Well I am looking forward to have a break from the gigs at the restaurant.” He flipped over the batch of pancakes on the pan. Revealing the golden color of one side.

“Really? It’s only been a month.”

“Well as much as I love performing, I can’t continuously do the same thing over and over. Especially with the little time I have to work on new music.”

“Ah well I know the burst of inspiration will come out soon enough.” With a smile she walked over to the cabinet and grabbed a couple of mugs. Pouring out the hot tea and grabbing the plates and tray. Connie snuck in pocky treats on the side and a couple on the tea itself. Some called it weird, others claimed green tea was like drinking grass. Well they were half right. But both Steven and Connie loved it so they drank it. No matter what others thought.

Once everything was arranged, Steven picked up the huge tray as they walked back upstairs to the room. While Connie straightened the blankets, pillow and comfort, Steven set the tray on the empty side table. Sitting right against the bed frame while Connie sat right between his legs. Leaning back so his front and her back touched together.

Setting the tray on top of her lap as he turned on the tv and flipped to a streaming service. Putting on a favorite show of theirs, ‘Under The Knife’. With all they seen and battled against, there stomachs were strong enough to hold against whatever is on the screen. Connie moved a bit so that Steven could eat a bit better. Or really so that she could feed him easier.

Once cooled down they each took a sip of their tea with a satisfying ‘ah’ afterwords. Steven swirled the pocky around his drink a bit before eating it in two bites. She rolled her eyes and took her time, licking off the sweet coating on one end before eating it in reasonable bites.

“How long has it been since we began drinking Green tea?”

“Hm.... I know I drank it ever since I could have tea. My parents were surprsied I liked it as much. You however” She glared with a smirk “took your sweet time finally getting around to taste it.”

“Hey! I was just a kid! I mean the whole concept sounded weird but interesting.”

“You pretended to not like it as much! Before I caught you drinking it with a smile on your face instead of a cringe look.”

“Oh right! Oh-... you were pretty upset back then.” He confessed with a nervous smile.

“Only because you never told me you were trying to get use to it. Ultimately finding a liking for it.”

“Well I also wanted to like it because-...” a pink tint appear on his cheeks as he glanced down at her beautiful eyes. “Because you liked it.” Connie inhaled sharply as tears brimmed her eyes. He never told her that before. With a hand over her pounding heart, she smiled.

“Oh Steven, you didn’t have to do that. You know we can have different interests.”

“I know that, but at the time I wanted to have more in common. Being half gem and half human... I’ll admit at times I felt disconnected with everyone. You had school and I had missions....with homeschooling on the side. I just wanted to be be more human. I know it’s silly.” She reached up and pressed her hand upon his cheek.

“You have a unique experience growing up. But that doesn’t make you any less human. Or really any less of you. Who you are. Besides I think it’s more sweet than silly.” Taking her hand in his he pressed his lips on the top of her hand. Smiling against her soft skin eyes closed briefly before gazing at her once more.

“I’m so lucky to have you.”

“Same here.” With that she put a small stick of pocky in her mouth and had the other end towards his face. “It’s okay to be silly too.” She mumbled between her teeth. He laughed and bit the other end, meeting her in the middle as they kissed. Laughing together at their odd, unique and special relationship.

#30 day connverse challenge #30 days connverse challenge #30 days writing challenge #steven universe #connie maheswaran #connverse #steven universe future #steven and connie #stevenxconnie #day 11 #green tea #pocky #coffee and/or tea

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biscuitreviews · 5 years ago

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Biscuit Reviews Star Trek Discovery Season One (SPOILERS)

So I know I normally review games, but I figured I’d try out a different review, mostly because I have a lot to talk about with one of the new Star Trek series, Star Trek: Discovery. I recently subscribed to the CBS All Access streaming service and granted it was mostly for Picard, I figured I’d give Discovery a go in between episodes.

As for my history with Star Trek, it’s been around for pretty much my entire life. My dad is a huge fan. I remember that he used to have a huge VHS collection of TOS and TNG. My first introduction was actually through TNG and it holds a special place in my heart. I’ve also watched every series minus Enterprise (will soon be remedying that), watched every movie, was in the initial launch of Star Trek: Online and watched the fan series Star Trek Continues, where despite being “fanon”, has been regarded by Rod Rodenberry as the true continuation of TOS and has gone on record multiple times that his father, Gene Rodenberry, would consider the series canon.

So yeah, I’d say Star Trek is a pretty big deal for me.

This review is going to cover the entirety of season 1 for Discovery. I won’t break down episode by episode as the season did have a continuing storyline throughout the entire season. I will go ahead and state that I’m not going to harp on the inconsistencies of Discovery’s technology. I know season 1 takes place 10 years before TOS. In fact, I gave it a pass because when it comes to long lasting sci-fi IPs, I feel that it’s an issue that has to be forgiven. How the 1960s audience viewed the future is vastly different than how we today view the future. So with that all of the technological inconsistencies, are just going to get a pass. As far as the subject of Lore such as well established events within Trek history, that will be taken on a case by case basis and I’ll be explaining those in my review as well.

Oh, and I will also be mentioning spoilers for season 1. A lot.

I walked into Discovery with an open mind, I was actually excited for the pitch on how it followed a first officer and would be more of a personal story. Discovery follows Michael Burnham (portrayed by Sonequa Martin-Green), first officer of the USS Shenzhou, a human who was raised by Vulcans. Immediately I loved this idea as Michael Burnham, which is traditionally a masculine name, is played by a woman and a person who identifies as a woman pushing another boundary that names are just names, they got no gender.

Even her backstory on how she got adopted by Vulcans was intriguing. Her home was attacked by Klingons which resulted in the death of her parents. This not only created depth but immediately establishes that Discovery is very much Michael’s story. Then came what is what I consider the biggest blunder to Michael and perhaps her greatest weakness. The Vulcan who adopted her was Sarek, Spock’s father.

This is the first case of lore that I have a problem against. For one it’s never been mentioned that Spock had a sister, adopted or otherwise. Now you can argue that the idea of Spock having a sister is open to debate as Spock himself has teased that in the movies when he mentioned having a brother to Kirk. However, we never got any actual confirmation that it was the case. Also, we see that Sarek actually has somewhat of a close relationship with Michael which goes against Sarek’s character in that point of time in the Trek universe. Although Sarek is more open and accepting to emotions, he always still projected the outward appearance of Vulcan logic to his peers and his son. He was also always stand-offish towards Spock, yet despite that he did a lot for Spock and tried to teach him both his Vulcan and Human heritages. There’s also another issue with the Sarek/Michael relationship that I have that I will expand upon later in the review.

If you thought lore inconsistencies would be my major sticking point, my other major sticking point is the first two episodes of Discovery. These episodes cover the event that started the Federation/Klingon war in TOS, an event that would be known as The Battle of the Binary Stars. What’s my issue you might ask? This very episode actively contradicts a certain event, an event that Discovery itself established. That Michael’s home was attacked by Klingons. How does it contradict this? By having Captain Georgiou say in the same episode and to Michael that Klingons have had no known contact with the Federation for 100 years.

Now, we don’t know how old Michael herself is, but I’m assuming her tragic backstory happened 20+ years ago. Last I checked, Michael and her parents are considered Federation citizens. Having Klingons attack what is a Federation outpost, I would consider that a contact. So to have a character say that didn’t happen, when that very contact makes up Michael’s backstory was quite a head scratcher. You could argue that maybe the Federation is trying to cover that up, but if that’s the case, they’re doing a pretty terrible job by allowing one of their leading ambassadors to adopt a survivor of this attack and then accepting that survivor into Starfleet.

Aside from that bit of lazy writing, there’s also some really stupid character and narrative decisions that occured within the first two episodes. I feel that these two episodes were prisoners of the established lore so to keep in line with that, they tripped over themselves to make sure said event still happened.

You have Captain Georgiou not listening to Michael. Michael tells her how the Vulcans managed to open a dialogue with the Klingons. Despite Michael giving Captain Georgiou a proven working tactic, Gerogiou actively does the opposite thing saying, “no we can’t shoot at them, we have to talk, peace, Federation principles.” Yeah, but Federation principles are also figuring how to communicate with a species and seeing how Klingons respond with aggression and you have Michael who is citing how Vulcans established contact, nope, we gotta talk to them, not shoot them.

Now, there are a couple of sticking points that the first two episodes also show. For one, the Klingon redesign. Klingons have always had lore inconsistencies in terms of their design so I don’t see a reason to give Discovery grief on that so it gets a pass. The other point, Michael being labeled the first mutineer, with as controversial as that is among the Trek fans, I’m letting that one slide as well. I know TOS said that there has never been a mutiny on a Starfleet vessel. I know technically Spock was the first mutineer but even TOS itself has been weird about that detail. So, I feel that argument doesn’t really hold much water to count as a lore inconsistency if even the established canon likes to be wishy washy about the fact.

Anyways, it’s not until episode three that we finally get to the titular ship and meet its crew. We have Captain Gabriel Lorca, First Officer Saru, Lt. Staments, Chief Medical Officer Hugh Culber, and Cadet Tilly. There are some other regular crew members throughout the entirety of the series, but they have such little screen time that I’m not going to count them.

As far as supporting cast goes, Captain Lorca actually does an excellent job in helping establish that this Trek series is different than the usual fare. It’s more focused on war and he considers himself a Soldier more than he does an explorer. Saru, is by far the best new character introduced to this series. He’s a new race never before seen in the lore and the past he shares with Michael during the Battle of the Binary Stars creates good drama and tension in all these fronts. Staments is researching a new travel method that involves space mushrooms and his personality falls under the “cold and jerkish, but has a heart of gold” trope. He’s also the resident gay and how Discovery showed his relationship with Dr. Culber was so beautiful and amazing, that I really wish other series would take note. Then it had to do the typical “kill the gay” trope and it lost my respect.

Then there’s also… Ash Tyler. He is perhaps the most mishandled character in the entire Trek series. Honestly, he felt like someone that was just written to create problems for the sake of creating problems. I don’t mind showcasing PTSD and bringing awareness to it. But when you constantly throw the guy with PTSD at Klingons and even acknowledging it multiple times that’s not bringing awareness, that’s terrible writing and a blatant lack of understanding. Let’s not forget he’s also a result of Klingon torture, experimentation that caused his personality to be shared with a Klingon personality, brainwashing, and rape. When he recognizes something is wrong, he reaches out for help, but what does everyone do? They just keep bringing him on missions and then yell at him for fucking up. The crew keeps telling him he'll be fine, it will pass he has their support and then proceed to chastise him for not seeking help and having their back when he was having a mental episode.

The series also brought a classic TOS antagonist as well, Harry Mudd (portrayed by Rainn Wilson). I have to say if there was a way to bring a classic Trek character to help build the universe and show the relation between Discovery and TOS, having a minor antagonist from TOS was a great way to build that bridge. I’m talking about the episode where Harry Mudd attempts to steal the Discovery and he tries to do it in the most Trek way possible. Creating a timeloop with technology that is beyond our understanding, but alien enough and futuristic enough to have the audience intrigued about how the device itself works and the cast also trying to figure it out and finding a solution.

There’s also two other classic Trek trope episodes, first contact and saving an ambassador. First contact was amazing and further showcased Saru as a Starfleet officer. The saving an ambassador episode was a bit of a mess.

In the ambassador episode (which is episode 6) Sarek’s ship has been attacked by...Vulcan logic extremists. This is something that I’ll admit was a really tough pill to swallow, Vulcan logic extremists? I was against the idea at first but then I sat down and tried to think logically. I mean it’s not unheard of, as we do have Vulcans in the Maquis during the TNG and DS9 era. Having a Vulcan terrorist organization on Vulcan would make as much sense as there have been Vulcans in previous series that are in terrorist organizations. Then there’s also the Vulcans that followed and worked with Spock during his attempts to broker peace with the Romulans during the TNG era. They too were considered extremists, so much so that the Federation ordered Picard to get Spock for fear that he was defecting. So having a Vulcan logic extremist group actually isn’t as much of a leap as I initially thought.

However, it’s the event that followed the attack I have issues with. After the terrorist attack, Sarek reaches out to not Spock, but Michael. This is an issue because it’s been proven that although Sarek can be a bit callous, he will always reach out to Spock in times of trouble and need. I feel like Sarek reaching out to Michael, as he is possibly dying, is a bit of a slap to the complicated relationship showcased between Sarek/Spock throughout the years. “Sorry Spock, got to make way for your adopted sister that was messily written to have connections to us in an attempt to get the long time Trekkies to buy in the series.”

As mentioned previously, I want to make it super clear that I have no issues with Michael Burnham. I just wish that the writers treated her character with more respect to allow her to be her own character rather than have a sloppy connection to legacy characters. I feel that Michael would have stood out more if she were adopted by a Vulcan that was not Sarek, but rather some other Vulcan. I feel by having a different Vulcan adoptive parent, Michael could have had a lot more room to grow as a character. You want the connection to Spock still? Fine, make them childhood friends or something else other than adoptive brother/sister. Make them Starfleet Academy rivals, I felt anything would have been better than Sarek adopting Michael.

Then there’s the Mirror Universe, which I’ll admit the multiple episode arc that covered the Mirror Universe gave me a love/hate feelings. First, I do love that it continued and added on to the fan theory turned canon event of the USS Defiant being shifted to the Mirror Universe in the past. I love that it touched more on how a Prime Universe person, living in the Mirror Universe can take a toll on them as they do things against their morals to stay under cover. TOS only scratched the surface and with Discovery taking it further and actually having that impact Michael was truly a nice change of pace to other instances of Trek characters encountering the Mirror Universe.

But there were definitely weird moments. Again, continuing to put Ash Tyler in situations that trigger his PTSD or his dormant Klingon personality, Captain Lorca actually being from the Mirror Universe. Now I’ll admit I wasn’t a fan at first, but the way he left the Mirror Universe and returned was such a Trek way of going back and forth, I can’t help but actually admire it.

Of course we run into counterparts of other characters as well. For example, we find out that the Mirror Universe version of Captain Georgiou is actually the Emperor of the Terran Empire. It was such a beautiful build up and made so many changes to Michael and bringing the Emperor to the Prime Universe could and does lead to some great dilemmas. However, there is one very tiny thing that I feel negates all of that and something that plagued Discovery in its first two episodes. Being a prisoner to established canon. When Discovery makes their way back to the Prime Universe they are ordered to never reveal the discovery of the Mirror Universe to anyone, because you know, Kirk hadn’t found it yet. So how does Discovery explain this? The Klingons can’t know about alternate universes and that it’s possible to travel to them so they are ordered to never reveal the possibility of alternate universes.

Anyways the Federation is on the verge of losing the war and desperate means call for desperate measures, that being genocide. Now it’s the not first time the Federation has threatened to commit genocide, they’ve threatened to do that in the established canon a few times as well. TNG did it, DS9 did it, Voyager did it, and from what I can tell, Enterprise did it too. So being in the corner that they were in is not uncharacteristic of the Federation, especially with how desperate they were to turn the war around. It also establishes Emperor Georgiou as a recurring antagonist to appear in future episodes.

After turning the war around, the Federation and Klingons agree to end hostilities, the Klingons are united as one empire and glorious speeches all around then off to Discovery’s next mission: Escort Sarek to Vulcan and pick up its new Captain. However, during the journey, Discovery picks up a distress signal from none other than the U.S.S. Enterprise and ends with the classic ending theme from TOS, which I’ll admit really hit hard and brought many happy feelings.

Discovery does have a lot of potential. However, I feel the writers are trying too hard to keep within established lore. The attempts to also sell Michael as the sister of Spock holds her back so much that it weighs her down unnecessarily. A lot of issues I have with Discovery is with its writing. It has all the ingredients to be a great series, but it was greatly mishandled. I feel that if Discovery was either not a prequel series, or a prequel series that didn’t try to play coy with established events the first season would have been great. With as big as a universe there is to play with, they could have had the potential to truly explore new worlds and ideas and it wasn’t seized upon. Hell, despite a rough beginning, it had a great idea with introducing the theme of war it established in the beginning and how it affects someone on a personal level.

However, despite the good, it was mishandled in so many ways and did these new characters more of a disservice than anything.

Star Trek Discovery receives a 2 out of 5

#Star Trek Discovery #Discovery #Disco #Biscuit Reviews #Series review #Star Trek #CBS #CBS All Access #Star Trek: Picard #Michael Burnham

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themeatlife · 5 years ago

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the Meat Life Stay-At-Home Watchlist

Chronicling what I have watched or rewatched through the pandemic so far

The world has changed around us the last few months, particularly in the United States since March 11. With the lack of events to hit up, like most Americans I’ve been catching up on some watching through the various streaming services and my own digital copies of movies and shows.

I didn’t really think of keeping up with what I have been watching until just recently, but here is what I can remember hitting up so far since I’ve spent the majority of the time at home. Some are favorites that I would have watched anyway. Some were unfinished until I got a chance to get back to them. And others just became available.

Here’s what I remember of the watchlist:

The Office (Netfilx) This is a favorite of me and the wife. We watch this on the regular though. My wife uses The Office as her lullaby of sorts, putting it on in the evening as she gets ready for bed and is in bed to fall asleep. I did a post on the 15th anniversary, so I won’t really deep-dive.

Gossip Girl (Netflix) Another one that my wife rotates with The Office as her lullaby. The series is not bad, it’s basically The OC in Manhattan (both are created and developed by Josh Schwartz). It also takes on a new perspective when you think about star Penn Badgley is the creep in You. So Dan Humphrey gets this weird creeper Joe Goldberg vibe at times.

Parks and Recreation (Netflix) I never got into Parks and Rec on its original run. I was encouraged to check it out by some coworkers since I liked The Office. It is a great show, very funny, and poignant in a way. It feels like a throwback to when people could disagree politically and still get along. There is a lot less of that nowadays. We might need more Parks and Rec in real life. I started this right before the pandemic and finished around the beginning of things getting locked down.

Frozen II (Disney+) The sequel debuted on Disney+ early on in the quarantine period. My family enjoyed it. I thought it was entertaining, but I felt like it was weighted down a bit by the mythology explaining. It seemed too busy explaining a lot of things. Still an enjoyable movie, but the first is better.

Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem, and Madness (Netflix) Intriguing. The series debuted early in the quarantine period and became a staple of stay-at-home viewing and a runaway hit. Lots of WTF moments. It was like the train wreck analogy to the Nth degree. But you can tell it was made in a way that leans in favor of Joe Exotic, making him look like a victim in the last couple episodes. Also gave way to memorable memes ever since.

The Rocketeer (Disney+) I haven’t watched this movie since I was a kid. Looking back, you can see a lot of The Rocketeer in Captain America - The First Avenger. Easy to see though, since they share the same director Joe Johnston. Prior to America’s involvement in World War II, a movie star Nazi goes after an experimental rocket pack developed by Howard Hughes. The rocket pack is retrieved by accident from a down on luck stunt pilot. Fun movie.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Disney+) I should have watched the entire Skywalker saga leading up to it, but I figured I have a ton of time to do that later. This was a May the 4th watch. I haven’t watched the Skywalker saga finale since it was in theaters. It’s not a bad movie, I just feel it could have been a lot better with some modifications here and there. Also, I believe this was going to be the Leia movie. The Force Awakens was Han’s swan song, as was The Last Jedi for Luke. I feel like this would have been great for Leia but obviously they were limited due to the untimely death of Carrie Fisher. The scene where Ren/Ben speaks with Han after battling Rey would have hit harder with Leia instead of Han.

Trolls: World Tour (VOD) Cute kid movie. Was nice to hear a lot of familiar music. Sucks that rock was the villain in the first couple acts. Seeing it once was enough, though. Like the first Trolls, I am glad my kids enjoyed it but did not participate in excessive multiple viewings.

Onward (Disney+) Didn’t get a chance to catch this at the theater before they closed them down. Great movie, but gosh. Why does Pixar always pull at the heart strings like that? I was quietly crying to myself at the end. I’m glad we made our living room dark theater-style, otherwise my kids would have seen me all torn up.

Fast and Furious 5-7 (Fast Five - HBO, The Fast and the Furious 6/Furious 7 - Digital) I ended up not watching the entire series. There is a great trilogy within the series, 5-7 was that trilogy. Fast Five was the best of the FF franchise and where it perfected their movie formula. It was like an action Ocean’s Eleven with cars. 6 and 7 expanded on that formula, upping the humor and ridiculousness factor. 6 had the exits of the Han and Gisele characters (they found a way to tie in Tokyo Drift to the rest of the series, Gal Gadot was on her way to becoming Wonder Woman for DC). And 7 had that great ending with the tribute to Paul Walker to the sounds of Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth.

Toy Story 4 (Disney+) Another Pixar hit. Didn’t hit me quite as hard as Onward or Toy Story 3 did emotionally, thank goodness. I thought this story was over the way Toy Story 3 ended. But Pixar did a good job adapting to prolong these characters stories. It did feel like it was a bit of two and three combined looking back. Still very good, Pixar knows what it’s doing.

The Marvel Infinity Saga (Disney+/Netflix/Digital) Leading up to the one-year anniversary of the release of Avengers: Endgame, I went through and rewatched all 23 MCU movies. This time, I went in chronological story order by starting with Captain America - The First Avenger. I chronicled the order I watched in my last post. Even after viewing many of these movies multiple times, I’m still amazed at how much I enjoy them and the scope of what Marvel was able to achieve leading into the climax in Endgame.

Community (Netflix/Hulu) I loved Community on its initial run on NBC but never watched any of the episodes when it was on Yahoo for its sixth season. It has been great to rewatch the meta-humor and sitcom trope parodies. And since Ken Jeong and Joel McHale started their own podcast called The Darkest Timeline (half COVID-19, half Community pod), it has been a good companion viewing.

The Back to the Future Trilogy (Netflix) Recent add to Netflix for easy viewing, these movies have been a favorite of the Mitra boys since childhood. Upon viewing as an adult, there is some humor that I didn’t recognize as a kid that is hilarious to me now. It is also crazy how well this teen time-travel sci-fi comedy works. Some of the effects in Part 2 are dated and 2015 didn’t quite end up the way it did in the movies. But overall very enjoyable on the rewatch!

Extraction (Netflix) High budget action flick funded by Netflix? Written by the Russo Brothers? And staring Chris Hemsworth? I’m in! Directed by long-time stunt man and Russo Bros go-to stunt coordinator Sam Hargrave (you can tell the Russo influence). It has an awesome 15ish minute one-shot action/chase sequence that is top notch. Don’t think much about the plot or the controversy of cultural representation, just enjoy the action.

The Mighty Ducks Trilogy (HBO) Another childhood favorite of mine. Nevermind that the hockey itself isn’t accurate. This is about pure fun for an hour and a half at a time. Come for the hi-jinx, stay for the heart. Triple-deke, knuckle-puck, taking out the trash. And leave it out on the ice!

The Harry Potter Series (Blu-Ray/Digital) This was not a go-to for me until Linda made me watch the entire series. I guess when the first movie came out, it was too much of a kid movie for me (I was a high school senior at the time). But from the second movie onward, it felt like the storytelling and movie making got better and better. The Deathly Hallows was an epic ending, even if they did change the ending from the book. I didn’t watch the newer Fantastic Beasts movies along with this though, my wife did.

Westworld - Season 3 (HBO) Recently got HBO back, so I caught up on Westworld Season 3. I haven’t rewatched the previous seasons yet, but I may revisit it soon. Season 1 was spectacular, Season 2 was confusing as hell but still entertaining. Season 3 is somewhere in between, expanding on the ongoing storyline. It was more straight-forward because its storyline is in the “real-world.” For those of you that have watched, didn’t you think it was highly ironic that the Incite ball was basically the AT&T logo? (AT&T is the parent company for WarnerMedia and HBO)

The Last Dance (ESPN/ESPN+) The Michael Jordan docu-series has been a god-sent for sports fans devoid of live American sports for the past couple months. Is it Jordan-biased? Sure. But it is full of drama and intrigue and full of nostalgia. The NBA had commissioned a camera crew to follow the 1997-1998 Chicago Bulls on their run for their sixth NBA championship. Jordan owned the controlling rights to the footage and unlocked it after the 2016 NBA Finals. So this documentary was years in the making and with the pandemic the release date was moved up. Although it featured a lot of unseen footage, it also chronicled the years leading up to the 1998 Bulls title. The last 5 Sundays have been awesome.

The Princess Bride (Disney+) I haven’t watched this movie since I was a kid. It wasn’t one of my recurring watches back then. So this was actually my second viewing of this movie ever. I found it quite enjoyable. It was cheesy, but fun, and a good family watch. One of the many older titles available on Disney+.

Scoob (VOD) My kids had some of the older Scooby Doo episodes on DVD and watched them when they were younger. This was a fun revisit for them and for us as parents. It was actually cool seeing a lot of the Hanna-Barbera characters in one movie. We watched this shortly after finishing Community, and my kids recognized Ken Jeong’s voice as Dynomutt. My daughter hilariously shouted “Senor Chang!” when she recognized him.

The Indiana Jones Series (Netflix) I introduced my son to Indiana Jones a few months ago watching Raiders of the Lost Ark. He loved it. He lost a little bit of interest during the Temple of Doom, I think the character Short Round lost it for him (character hasn’t aged well). The Last Crusade reclaimed his interest. Harrison Ford was at his natural apex playing Indiana Jones. I did not watch the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I didn’t feel the need to revisit that installment, while it was enjoyable the alien ending ruined the lead up to it.

The Dark Knight Trilogy (Batman Begins/The Dark Knight - Hulu, The Dark Knight Rises - Digital) Every few years I try to revisit this series. It is the best thing DC has ever put out cinematically. While Begins and Rises is more comic book, TDK is a straight crime drama set in the world of Batman. My favorite is Rises, but the absolute best comic book movie remains The Dark Knight, even with the advent of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Jurassic Park/Jurassic World Series (Jurassic Park/The Lost World: Jurassic Park - Blu-Ray, Jurassic World - Digital, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - Cinemax) The original Jurassic Park is such a great movie. Rewatching, it’s crazy how well the effects for the dinosaurs hold up. Steven Spielberg, Stan Winston, and ILM did a great job mixing animatronic and CGI dino effects that stand the test of time. The Lost World was enjoyable but not as good as the original. I skipped JP III, such a bad movie. Jurassic World was a good way to reboot the series, basically a remake of the original but incorporating a lot of references to it. I just finished Fallen Kingdom today. Although Fallen Kingdom was entertaining, it fails to recapture some of the magic of JP and JW.

I’m not sure what I will hit up next. I might hit some Keanu Reeves movies like Speed, the Matrix Trilogy, and/or the John Wick Trilogy. Maybe Top Gun. Maybe rewatch Friends or How I Met Your Mother. Maybe something on HBO Max when it comes out like The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Maybe Terminator. Possibilities are endless, at least until some American sports return.

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years ago

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2010s Art: Music, Games, and TV

So I love all forms of art. It may not seem like it since I tend to stick mainly to movies, with the odd cartoon or video game thrown in, but that’s really because movies are more my thing due to not being massive time investments. Like, don’t get me wrong, I gamed, I watched TV, I listened to music, but it was a lot more casual than my deep dive into becoming a major cinephile.

With games and TV, it was mostly issues of money and time respectively. I have a few consoles, mostly Nintendo and Sony ones, and my wife helped me experience Xbox games, but I just don’t have the money needed to experience every good game that comes out. With TV, the time investment is the biggest roadblock, especially when all the best shows have hour-long episodes these days. With movies, I just have to spend 90 minutes to two hours on average; for TV, it’s countless hours I could be watching movies. As for music… well, I listened to a lot, I just don’t feel totally qualified to properly rank and list songs and albums.

So instead of the big decade-spanning list for movies that I’m doing, I’m going to go over some things I enjoyed from the past decade and maybe a few things I didn’t in music, TV, and video games. Here’s a little guide so you know what stuff is something I consider one of my absolute favorites in any given medium - if it’s from this decade, it will be in bold, and if it’s from a previous decade but I experienced it this decade, it will be underlined.

Television

I figured I’d get this out of the way first since it’s the medium I have the least experience with. Let me put it this way: I have seen only one season of Game of Thrones, the first one (and by all accounts I dodged a bullet by dropping that show). I also had the misfortune of jumping in to The Walking Dead right as it was gearing up for its abysmal second season, which turned me off that and led to me only watching an episode here or there.

I had better luck watching live action shows on streaming. I managed to get through almost all of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, which was a chore in and of itself; it’s a good show, but boy could it ever get arbitrary and frustrating. Speaking of Netflix, I think it goes without saying that Stranger Things is their best effort; from the likable cast of kids to the awesome soundtrack, even though it never really surpasses season one the show always has something cool going on in one of its plots. My other favorite from Netflix would probably be their take on A Series if Unfortunate Events, which is how you do adaptation expansion right; everything they add feels like it’s in service of fleshing out Lemony Snicket’s dismal world, as well as giving Patrick Warburton an incredible dramatic role as the Lemony narrator himself.

Amazon managed to score two hits in my book. The first is the unbelievably fun and charming Good Omens, a miniseries that somehow got me to love David Tennant and Michael Sheen more than I already did. The second was the gory joyride that is The Boys which while not the smartest or most original superhero satire is definitely the most fun.

While I didn’t watch the whole show and would not consider it one of my favorites, I do want to give props to Hannibal for introducing me to Mads Mikkelsen. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the only person aside from Hopkins worthy of playing everyone’s favorite cannibal. Another show I DO consider a favorite despite slacking on keeping up with it is Ash vs. Evil Dead; I only needed to see a single season of Bruce back with the boomstick to know this show was a masterpiece.

On the animated side I have much more to talk about. Not since the 90s have we been spoiled with so many genuinely great and varied cartoons. We got Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe… really, Cartoon Network raised the bar this decade and made up for an awful 2000s. They even finally gave Samurai Jack a conclusion, which despite the mixed results, was still a real exciting phenomenon to experience.

Of course, my favorite CN show came from Adult Swim. I am of course referring to Rick & Morty, a fun sci-fi adventure comedy that attracted the most obnoxious fanbase possible in record time. While certainly not a show you need a high IQ to understand and having an atrocious third season, it still manages to be funny and thought provoking in equal amounts. Seriously though. Fuck season 3.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is another great show that I sadly fell off the wagon of around the fifth or sixth season. It never got bad of course but it never really engaged me like the older episodes, though what I’ve heard of the last season makes me wish I’d kept up with it. It was a great show with a lot of heart and character, and I’m not sure we’ll ever see a show like it again.

Netflix did not slack in the animation department; I didn’t catch their most famous show (it’s the one about a certain Horseman) but I did catch their fantastic take on Castlevania, which as a huge fan of the series was a real treat. Where the fuck is Grant though?

My two favorite shows of the decade, however, are what I see as the pinnacle of East and West: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and Gravity Falls.

JJBA is a series I had vague passing knowledge of, only knowing its existence due to seeing Stone Ocean referenced on the Wikipedia page for air rods when I was younger and, of course, the memes that spawned from Heritage for the Future, which were inescapable back in the day. As soon as I got into the series, it became one of my biggest inspirations, teaching me you can be deep, complex, and filled with great character interactions while also being so batshit insane that every new and absurd power is incredibly easy to buy (looking forward to the rainbows that turn people into snails, animators). They managed to get through the first four parts and start up the fifth over the decade; so far my favorite part is four, mainly due to the magnificent bastard that is Yoshikage Kira (played time perfection by D.C. Douglas) and in spite of serial creep Vic Mangina playing the otherwise lovable asshole Rohan Kishibe.

Gravity Falls on the other hand is just a fun and engaging mystery show that manages to excel at being episodic and story-driven all at once. There’s only one or two “bad” episodes across two seasons, and it lasted just as long as it needed to, wrapping things up with a satisfactory ending that still gave fans a few mysteries to chew on. It also gave us Grunkle Stan, perhaps the greatest character in all of animation, the pinnacle of “jerk with a heart of gold” characters who is hilarious, badass, and complex all at once. This is my favorite western animated show…

...but then the last year of the decade threw a curveball and, if I’m being honest, is on par with Gravity Falls: Green Eggs and Ham. Netflix really wanted us to know 2D animation is back in 2019; between this show and Klaus, the future is looking bright for the medium. It’s a fun, funny roadtrip comedy that knows when to be emotional and when to be funny, and it’s all filtered through the wubbulous world of Dr. Seuss. It’s just a wonderfully delightful show.

And on the subject of JoJo, I had a kind of love-hate relationship with anime this decade. The attitudes of anime fans turned me off from anime for a long while. Sure, I checked out stuff like Attack on Titan and Sword Art Online, but neither series really clicked with me. The main anime I loved this decade were ones that started in the 2000s and ended in the 2010s, like Dragon Ball Z Kai and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. I suppose I did enjoy My Hero Academia, which is a really fun show with an awesome and varied cast and great voice acting. Love Froppy, best girl for sure.

One of the most unfortunate things about this decade was how many great shows got screwed over by their networks. Sym-Bionic Titan, Thundercats, and The Legend of Korra were all great shows in their own right but were treated like shit by their respective networks. It really makes me upset that stuff like that not only happened, but continues to happen to this day.

But let’s not end on a bad note; let’s talk about the astounding returns old shows got. Invader Zim got a movie as did Hey Arnold, with the latter in particular finally wrapping up the dangling plot threads, but those are actual TV movies so they don’t really fit here; what DOES fit is Static Cling, the triumphant return of Rocko’s Modern Life. A forty minute special, it follows Rocko and his friends as they navigate the modern age, trying to bring back Rocko’s favorite cartoon. Rachel Bighead’s arc in this in particular is pretty groundbreaking and awesome.

Also awesome was the first few episodes of Samurai Jack’s return, though it did end up petering out halfway through the season and ended on an anticlimactic note. Still, Tom Kenny’s Scaramouche, the sheer amount of continuity, and the awesome final curbstomp battle against Aku are worth giving this a watch. And if nothing else, stuff like this gives me hope for future revivals. What will we see next? Gargoyles comeback? Batman Beyond continuation? KENNY AND THE CHIMP REVIVAL?! Chimpers rise up!

Music

Much like everyone, I listened to a lot of music this decade. There was a lot of shit, and I definitely used to be one of those “wow no one makes good music anymore” morons, but I grew out of that and learned to look in the right places.

Let’s start with the albums I loved the most. Continuing her meteoric rise from the 2000s, Lady Gaga drooped her magnum opus, Born This Way, an album that successfully showcases her skills as she takes on numerous pop styles. No two songs sound the same, and with a couple of exceptions every song slaps. While we’re on the subject of pop stars, Gaga’s contemporary and lesser Katy Perry managed to hit a home run with the fun bit of pop fluff that was Teenage Dream.

Weird Al was sorely missed for most of the decade, but what albums he did drop featured some of his best work. While Alpocalypse doesn’t hold up quite so well, it’s still solid, but even then it is blown out of the water by Mandatory Fun, an album that just refuses to stop being funny from start to finish. And that’s not the only funny albums this decade; aside from artists I’ll get more into later, George Miller AKA Filthy Frank released Pink Season as one of his last great acts as his character of Pink Guy. The album is as raunchy and filthy as you’d expect. And then for unintentional comedy, Corey Feldman dropped Angelic 2 The Core, an album so musically inept that it ends up becoming endearing; it’s The Room of music.

As I gamed a lot this decade I got to experience a lot of great video game soundtracks, but the two I found to be the absolute best were Undertale and Metal Gear Rising’s. I couldn’t tell you which soundtrack is better, and I’ve actually made a playlist on my iPod containing my favorite tracks from both games. Pokemon had solid soundtracks all decade, but they definitely were better in single tracks such as Ultra Necrozma’s theme from USUM and Zinnia’s theme from ORAS.

And speaking of individual songs, there were a lot I really loved. The disco revival in the easel ide half of the decade lead to gems like “Get Lucky,” “Uptown Funk,” and… uh, “Blurred Lines.” The controversy to that one might be overblown, but it sure isn’t anything I really want to revisit.

Corey Feldman may be the king of unintentional comedy, but this decade was seriously ripe with so bad it’s good music. The crown jewel is without a doubt the giddy, goofy “Friday,” but I think the equally stupid but also endlessly more relatable Ark Music production “Chinese Food” is worth some ironic enjoyment as well.

Meme songs in general were pretty enjoyable, though it came at a price. Remember when everyone tried to be funny by ripping off “Gangnam Style?” Remember when people took that Ylvis song at face value? Irony and satire were lost on the masses. I think the best mene song of the decade, though, is “Crab Rave,” a bouncy instrumental dance track with a fun music video and an absurd yet hilarious meme tacked to it. And then we have “The Internet is for Music,” a gargantuan 30 minute mashup featuring every YTMND, 4chan, Newgrounds, and YouTube meme you could think of (at the time of its release anyway),

Then we get into artists. Comedy music was great this decade, with Steel Panther and The Lonely Island putting out great work all decade, but by far my favorite funny band is Ninja Sex Party. Dan “Danny Sexbang” Avidan and Brian “Ninja Brian” Wecht are pretty much my favorite entertainers at this point, with them easily being able to go from doing goofy yet epic songs where they fuck or party to doing serious and awesome cover albums where Dan flexes his impressive vocals. A big plus is how all of their albums are easily some of my favorites ever, with not a single bad CD, and that’s not even getting into their side project Starbomb. These guys are a treasure.

Then we have Ghost, a Swedish metal band who play up the Satanic panic for all it’s worth. These guys captured my interest when I heard the beautiful “Cirice” on the radio, and despite that song rocking the fuck out, Imagine my surprise when it ended up being only middle of the road awesome for this band! With killer original songs like “Rats,” “Mary in the Cross,” and “Square Hammer” to a awesome covers like “Missionary Man” and “I’m a Marionette,” it’s almost enough to get a guy to hail Satan. I think they appeal to me mainly because they have a style very in line with the 80s, most evident on tracks like “Rats.”

While I’d hesitate to call him one of my favorite musicians yet (he is really good so far though), one of my favorite people in entertainment is Lil Nas X. From his short but sweet songs that crush genre boundaries to his hilarious Twitter feed, this guy is going places and I can’t wait to see what those places are.

And finally, the guy I think may be one of the greatest creative geniuses alive and who has nearly singlehandedly shaped Internet culture with everything he does… Neil Cicierega. While it’s not like I only discovered him in the 2010s - the guy has been an omnipresent force in my life since Potter Pupper Pals debuted - he definitely became the guy I would unflinchingly call the greatest artist of our time over that period. Whether he’s releasing the songs under his own name or as Lemon Demon, you can always be sure that the songs are going to burrow into your brain. His Lemon Demon album Spirit Phone, which features songs about urban legends and the horrors of capitalism, is easily my pick for album of the decade. And then under his own name he released three mashup mixtapes: Mouth Sounds, Mouth Silence, and Mouth Moods. All three are stellar albums, but only Mouth Moods has “Wow Wow,” the bouncing track about homoerotic bee-loving Will Smith and outtakes so good they deserve to be on the next album.

Video Games

Having a PC this decade was great because it let me experience a lot of games I probably wouldn’t have otherwise, like Half-Life, BioShock, Earthnound, Mother 3, and Final Fantasy VI and VII. All of these and more are among my favorite games of all time now, but we’re here to talk about the stuff from this decade I consider great.

It’s hard to talk about this decade in gaming without mentioning Skyrim. Yes, it has flaws and the main storyline is a bit undercooked, but there’s so much fun to be had dicking about in the wilderness it’s hard to be too mad. And if you have mods, there are endless opportunities to expand the game. The same is true for the other game I have sunk countless hours into, The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth. Not only is there a thriving modding community, but it has been supported and encouraged by the creators and some mods have even made the leap into becoming fully canon! It’s always a blast to revisit and see how far I can break the game with item combos.

Surprisingly, Batman managed to get not one, not two, but THREE awesome licensed games this decade! Arkham Asylum, Arkham City, and the unfairly maligned Arkham Origins all kick as much ass as the Dark Knight himself. The former two reunite Mark Hamill and Kevin McConroy as Joker and Batman while the latter features numerous stellar boss battles. The combat in these games is so graceful and fluid, you WILL feel like Batman at some point, be it after flawlessly clobbering two dozen mooks or silently eliminating a room of thugs before they even realize you’re there.

Pokémon had a bit of a rocky decade; it started out strong with the fifth generation, the best games in the series with a great story, region, and sidequests and then just went downhill from there. Not incredibly so, of course - the games were always fun at least - but gens VI through VIII were not the most graceful steps into 3D. Still, every gen managed to produce some of my all-time favorite Pokémon. Gen V had Volcarona, Chandelure, and Meloetta; Gen VI gave us Hoopa, Klefki, the Fairy type in general, and a gorgeous mega evolution for my favorite Pokémon, Absol; Gen VII had the Ultra Beasts and Ultra Necrozma, some of the coolest concepts in the series, as well as Pyukumuku; and Gen VIII gave us Cinderace, Dracovish, Dracozolt, Polteageist, Hatterene, Snom, and Zacian. And those are just samplings mind you, these gens are full of hits.

Bringing back old franchises yielded amazing results. Look no further than the triumphant return of Doom in 2016, which had you ripping and tearing through the forces of Hell with guns, chainsaws, and your bear fucking hands. This game is HARDCORE. Less bloody and gory but no less awesome was the return of not just Crash Bandicoot, but Spyro as well in remakes that are easily the definitive ways to experience the games. And don’t even get me started on the remastered DuckTales!

Platinum games did not fuck around this decade, delivering Bayonetta 2 and Metal Gear Rising. The former is a balls-to-the-wall sequel to the amazing original Bayonetta that, while lacking in bosses quite as impressive as the first game’s, is more polished and has a fun story and a better haircut for Bayonetta; the latter is an action game so insane it makes the rest of the Metal Gear franchise look tame in comparison. The latter in particular is in my top ten games ever, with every boss battle feeling epic, all the music kicking ass, and Raiden truly coming into his own as a badass.

Speaking of Metal Gear, the divisive The Phantom Pain easily earns its place here. While much fuss has been made about the game being “unfinished,” it still has a complete and satisfying ending even if it doesn’t totally wrap up the dangling plot threads the young Liquid Snake leaves behind. The overarching themes as well as Venom and his relationship with characters like Kaz, Paz, and ESPECIALLY Quiet make this game, with his and Quiet’s being particularly beautiful and tragic. The Paz quest, Quiet’s exit, and the mission where Snake has to put down his men after they get infested with parasites are all some of the most heartbreaking moments in the franchise. But it’s not all tears; there’s plenty of fun to be had harassing Russians in Afghanistan while blaring 80s synth pop from your Walkman. Oh yeah, and fuck Huey.

The Ace Attorney series also thrived, with both Spirit of Justice and Dual Destinies transitioning the series into 3D a lot more graceful than some other franchises while still maintaining the with and charm the series is known for. And if that wasn’t enough for my point-and-cluck adventure needs, Telltale had me covered with The Wolf Among Us and the first season of The Walking Dead. The stories and characters of those games are so good, it’s enough to make you sad they never got a timely sequel or sequels that weren’t shit respectively.

This decade is when I really got into fighting game, though I’m not particularly good. I supported Skullgirls (and am even in the credits!), and got into Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle (and I also got into its spiritual predecessor, Heritage for the Future). But by and large my favorite fighting game of the decade and the one I’m actually pretty good at is Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the most ridiculously ambitious crossover in video game history. The fact that the game is STILL getting more characters added is a testament of how insanely great the game is because instead of being mad that there’s so much DLC, people are going rabid waiting for news of more. It’s such an awesome, complete game out the door that the DLC feels earned rather than half a game being held hostage. Other devs, take note!

A lot of franchises put their best foot forward for sequels. God of War III was an awesomely bloody finale to the original journey of Kratos, with more epic bosses than ever; now he’s off fighting Norse gods, and I hear that game is even better! Portal 2 is just an absolute blast, and easily surpasses the first game on the merit of having Cave Johnson alone; the fact we get Wheatley and the malfunctioning personality cores honestly feels like overkill. Then we have BioShock… 2. While it’s certainly not as good as the first game, I think it was a lot of fun, and it got way too much flak.

I think it definitely aged better than Infinite which, while still a good game in its own right (it’s hard to hate a game with a character as endearing as Elizabeth), definitely was not warranting the levels of acclaim it got with such a muddled narrative. “Overrated” and “overhyped” are not words I keep in my vocabulary and I certainly would not describe Infinite as such, but I do feel like people got swept up in the gorgeous visuals and the story bits and characters that are effective and so weren’t nearly as critical of its flaws. It’s still a good, fun game with an interesting world, but it pales in comparison to the other two BioShocks. I feel like The Last of Us is in a similar boat. That being said, I couldn’t tell you why; it has a great story, good characters, plenty of replayability, and fascinating enemy design. But despite all that, I appreciate this game more than love it. It’s the Citizen Kane of video game sin that regard at least.

I’d be remiss to not mention the big indie successes of the decade. Shovel Knight is easily one is the greatest platform era ever made, taking everything great about the platformers on the NES and SNES, removing the bullshit, and delivering numerous bonus campaigns with unique playstyles. Then there was Abobo’s Big Adventure, a marvelous mashup of all sorts of games starring the beloved Double Dragon mook as he goes on a bloody quest to save his son. It’s a blast and there is tons of variety but some sections are definitely as hair-pullingly difficult as the games that inspired them. And then there is Doki Doki Literature Club, the free visual novel that brutally subverts your expectations. Sadly, I do feel the game loses some impact on subsequent playthroughs, but it’s still a great, effective story that skillfully utilizes meta elements.

Still, the greatest indie success of them all is Toby Fox’s masterpiece, Undertale. Charming, funny, emotional, and populated by a cast of some of the most fun and lovable characters ever conceived, this game was an instant smash and is still talked about to this day. Sure, things like Sans have been memed to death, but it’s hard to not just love and cherish the beautiful world Toby Fox managed to create. This game may not be the greatest game of all time, but for what it is I wouldn’t hesitate to name it the game of the decade.

There was a lot of great art in the 2010s, and while I couldn’t get around to all of it, I’m so happy with what I got to experience. Here’s hoping that the 2020s can be just as amazing!

#Music #video games #TV

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Sick Kids

ihatemyguts: Hey, who's about today? brainpain: 👀 brainpain: 👃 brainpain: 👅 ihatemyguts: Uncanny brainpain: I know ihatemyguts: Artistic endeavors keeping you busy? brainpain: [a selfie of her dramatic 🌈 makeup aesthetic] ihatemyguts: Okay but I'm gonna need a tutorial ihatemyguts: I never even mastered lipstick brainpain: I'll hook you up brainpain: check your private msgs ihatemyguts: 👍🙏 ihatemyguts: if my face is gonna be 🌚 from now on, it should really look pretty ihatemyguts: #juststeroidthings brainpain: it's a good face brainpain: + if I can rock a half shaved head with my brainpain: 👀 brainpain: 👃 brainpain: 👅 brainpain: not a time to still be alive brainpain: LMAO ihatemyguts: no doubt you rocked it so well everyone thought it was a choice brainpain: you gotta act like you're starting a 🌚 worshipping cult brainpain: I'll do a tutorial for that brainpain: full face of silver ihatemyguts: I can get down with that ihatemyguts: 🙌🌊🩸🐺🙌 ihatemyguts: am here on a bit of a recruitment mission, actually brainpain: my housemates & I are all synced 🩸 wise so you'd be doing me a favour, newbie brainpain: living battle royale over here brainpain: not trying to recruit you to fight to the death by my side though, we're good brainpain: what's the job? ihatemyguts: That sounds delightful, man ihatemyguts: also lowkey how has that never happened, not even with my ma ihatemyguts: clearly just that cold and standoffish she's like nah ihatemyguts: maybe I should wait 'til Zach is here too 'cos it was kinda his idea but if I give cred now, we're all good and I can take the blame if it's a big nope brainpain: you're still a 👶 not even gonna be synced with yourself yet brainpain: hold up I'll drag him by his curls brainpain: out there having a life like a real boy 😤 ihatemyguts: 😂 ihatemyguts: he'll get tricked into going to a weird Funland island and get turned into a donkey for his crimes, it's okay brainpain: sounds lit brainpain: [inandout has entered the chat] inandout: 🤥 ihatemyguts: How's your conscience? ihatemyguts: 🦗🦗🦗 inandout: 💎 clear ihatemyguts: 🤨 suspect inandout: you're not my wine mum inandout: or vodka aunt ihatemyguts: How rude ihatemyguts: Put some respect on your cult leader inandout: 🙇🙏 inandout: no food offerings ihatemyguts: safe bet gotspoons: 👋 I'm here! gotspoons: having a great day today, actually got energy, whaaaa?! 😲🤭 inandout: quick! float the idea while she's on cloud 9 gotspoons: You make me sound like an ogre, Zach 😜 gotspoons: what's going on? brainpain: Princess ogre ihatemyguts: Fiona ihatemyguts: v chic ihatemyguts: anyway, as we're all 👍 besides battle royale 🩸 ihatemyguts: we was thinking, and talking 'bout, a potential meetup ihatemyguts: thought we'd float it, see what y'all 💭 brainpain: I've got a 🍳 I'm 👍 + in ihatemyguts: which princess is that? one with crazy long hair, I 👀 it ihatemyguts: it could be cool, yeah? and why not, we'd have to make sure everyone who wants to can obvs or what's the point but apart from that brainpain: Princess me, unless the bleach makes it all fall out 😬 brainpain: [a very her style location] 📌🌎 inandout: we're not doing it there gotspoons: This is the problem, guys 😩 gotspoons: it would be really awesome but there is SO much planning you'd have to do to make it safe for everyone gotspoons: and picking a place for everyone that meets all the requirements inandout: we're willing to do all that inandout: planning + safety stuff ihatemyguts: totally ihatemyguts: like we could even go to a park or somewhere totally neutral ihatemyguts: or see if we can find some council-owned hall or something, 'cos places like that HAVE to be accessible ihatemyguts: I don't mind calling around and I bet Rich knows lots, and you will think of ALL the ways to keep EVERYONE safe and happy, right Rosie? brainpain: where I used to have support group would actually work brainpain: [a decent location that's like a community centre of something] ihatemyguts: 🙌 that looks legit ihatemyguts: if we explain what we're tryna do, bet they won't even charge us brainpain: I've got a hook up as ⭐ pupil brainpain: had my pick of those circle of chairs tigerbalm: 🙀🙀🙀🙀 tigerbalm: are we REALLY going to be able to meet up in person?! inandout: possibly gotspoons: How are we going to do this, IF we can gotspoons: you have to think about food and drink and seating and how we'd cover that, even if they did give us the venue for free inandout: I'm great with funds, it's assumed and expected gotspoons: but is that fair? gotspoons: I know some of us have none or very little inandout: I won't charge any of you a fee to come through the doors inandout: not that Jewish gotspoons: Oh, Zach! ihatemyguts: 🤑 is an accessibility issue, this should be a service, it should exist for free ihatemyguts: but it doesn't ihatemyguts: so if we can do this for ourselves, and offer it for free, for as little expense as possible ihatemyguts: maybe people will pull their finger out and consider actually doing their job ihatemyguts: you can write about it on your blog, get the word out brainpain: I'll fund-raise on stream, I've got your backs, nerds ihatemyguts: Right? High🖐 ihatemyguts: it's for US, so all of us that can, will put money into it ihatemyguts: no pressure on the ones that can't, fuck that, if anyone is gonna be that arsehole then they aren't welcome, yeah? tigerbalm: my parents have a people carrier, cos of course they do, but my creepy uncle won't be invited if any of y'all need rides ihatemyguts: 🤩🤩🤩 gotspoons: I'm going to do some research gotspoons: A LOT of research gotspoons: I would hate for anything to happen to anyone is this group tigerbalm: Where's Rich? tigerbalm: he would love to be on the front lines about this gotspoons: He would be a big help gotspoons: I feel like he had a uni thing today, an open day or something like that??? gotspoons: ugh my memory letting me down AS PER tigerbalm: how exciting! tigerbalm: I'll have to quiz him when he shows gotspoons: I know! gotspoons: He always checks in though, he'll be here later brainpain: Moving on, for those of us too brain damaged for further education gotspoons: 😔 brainpain: just me & my raging hormones LOL brainpain: he'll be such a happy nerd gotspoons: that's for sure gotspoons: he'll probably know so many answers to our questions already enablednotdisabled: I thought this group existed in lieu of an in-person group? brainpain: sup dude, it does enablednotdisabled: wouldn't it be potentially exclusionary to take this offline then? enablednotdisabled: realistically, there will be some of us who simply cannot get there inandout: if you wanna get there, we'll make it happen inandout: facetime you in if nothing else works enablednotdisabled: I'm not talking for myself, just others who might not feel confident enough to inandout: collective "you" inandout: we've all got phones enablednotdisabled: I just feel like this group can be quite us vs. them at times enablednotdisabled: hard to get heard if you aren't in the core group tigerbalm: There isn't a core group tigerbalm: everyone is listened to & respected enablednotdisabled: With all due respect, you are a part of it enablednotdisabled: so, of course, you feel that way enablednotdisabled: I'm not suggesting you can't break off and do your own thing, but the main chat of this forum that is meant to be for all of us, isn't the place for it brainpain: this group is what you make it, man brainpain: + the main chat brainpain: hit us with a topic you wanna talk about whenever inandout: it was brought up here so everyone knows they're invited ihatemyguts: I'm new and everyone I've found has been really receptive and welcoming to whatever I've had to say ihatemyguts: it sucks that you've not had that experience yourself but no one here is excluding you right now, least of all Robyn enablednotdisabled: There's a definite atmosphere here, whether you want to acknowledge it or not enablednotdisabled: the guidelines of what is expected and what is acceptable need to be clearer enablednotdisabled: and the moderators, who I've never actually witnessed in chat, should be quicker to put people on the right track, making this more therapeutic/beneficial to all, ban people if necessary brainpain: If you 🔎 hard enough for an atmosphere, it's findable brainpain: when you come in with a definite attitude of your own that's not gonna help none gotspoons: There's no need for us to have an argument, this is supposed to be a positive space gotspoons: if you have a complaint you'd like to make @enablednotdisabled, there is a link to contact the mods directly gotspoons: but I'd be happy to talk to you, privately if you'd prefer, and then we can take it from there? enablednotdisabled: I can handle my own complaints, thanks enablednotdisabled: and this isn't a positive space for me, and plenty other people I've talked to gotspoons: It hurts me to hear that, I'm really sorry and steps do need to be taken to attempt to rectify that then handicapable: I agree, it's cliquey here, unless you're one of the 'popular kids' or core group as @enablednotdisabled said, nobody cares handicapable: @ihatemyguts may be new but her finding a way in doesn't mean the walls aren't there for the rest of us handicapable: I barely log in any more gotspoons: Then let's tackle this culture head on gotspoons: do either of you have suggestions on how we could go about that, so I'm not dominating the conversation handicapable: You're not the one who dominates the conversation ihatemyguts: Don't think we need to @ people with specific comments like that ihatemyguts: not speaking for myself brainpain: @ me, baby brainpain: At least then I could defend myself brainpain: 🤐 though ihatemyguts: You've got the floor, like tigerbalm: It's not a safe space for Lauren if she can't say what she wants to say at risk of being accused of dominating the chat tigerbalm: either you want people to feel listened to or you don't ihatemyguts: And yeah, I am new, but I know Lauren, or anyone else in the chat rn, would not shoot you down if you wanted to change topic enablednotdisabled: It's about who always seems to be dictating the topic enablednotdisabled: we could change it, but then you feel like an interloper ihatemyguts: The conversation has to start somewhere, by someone ihatemyguts: @handicapable admitted to barely logging in now, of course the people who are here more will talk more, that's a given, it doesn't mean you're not allowed to contribute or come in to the convo ihatemyguts: there's no way to avoid that...prompts? mods only? that's not natural, or practical inandout: bible quotes inandout: 1 Peter 5:10 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Why are we quoting scripture? inandout: Lauren's been here for like 2 years but suddenly she's a disruptive force tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well that's bullshit tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: unless you're a incel on her stream brainpain: you know me brainpain: how was your open day, babe? brainpain: (unless I'm a domineering b word for asking) tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Decent, despite the fact no one was expecting the wheelchair kid tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: despite the fact I called ahead tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: you can dominate me all you want but let me catch up with this apparent shitstorm I've missed brainpain: what a sexy proposition brainpain: I knew I'd missed you enablednotdisabled: Right, that's that conversation over then enablednotdisabled: 👌 brainpain: come on, man ihatemyguts: This is ridiculous ihatemyguts: people have formed meaningful relationships here, they're not allowed to acknowledge that in case someone feels left out, if you've talked to plenty of other people about the state of this forum, then clearly you've formed deeper bonds with them too ihatemyguts: no one here begrudges you that ihatemyguts: you're bound to get on with certain people over others, there's nothing discriminatory about that, it's to be expected tigerbalm: Like, are we supposed to take everything to PMs now? Cos I wanna hear about Rich's open day too but maybe he doesn't wanna type everything out to separate people lots of separate times ihatemyguts: ^You're just being rude, for the sake of it ihatemyguts: Rosie has offered to privately message about this, or you can put it all in an email to the mods tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Okay tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: literally, 'we' (I'll include myself in this core group that you see, even if I don't see that as a valid argument), have done nothing to you two, have never excluded either of you tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: everyone here is welcoming, and was welcoming you before your complaints tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: which aren't rooted in anything I can see as factual tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: what's the actual issue here? you're just hitting out buzzwords handicapable: and you're just jumping to the defence of the girl you like flirting with brainpain: Whoa now! That's not all I am in here tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: See, that's multiple times you've personally made jabs at Lauren tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: none of us have made any comments on you two personally tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it seems like you're more cliquey than us if you can't see her as a valued member of the group brainpain: I'm not gonna leave cos you want on Rich for being hot af brainpain: shoutout to the new girl for letting that be known though tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Thank you, m'dear (somewhere between 🎩 and 🧢) tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but thanks for implying I'm so desperate that I'd flirt with a girl I'd never seen before @handicapable tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: things are not quite that bad, I can assure you inandout: we're all that desperate, where have we heard that before? inandout: @normal people tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and we don't deserve any relationships that are deeper than strictly clinical and professional inandout: which is why we don't need to talk to any one person more than once tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Shout your grievances into the void and move on tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but don't be too depressing about it ihatemyguts: This group doesn't work, you're right, just not for the reasons you're giving ihatemyguts: but we're all welcome to do what we must about making it work, even if I disagree with yours personally ihatemyguts: at least we try, and if you view us as an 'us' then you also view yourself as a group ihatemyguts: which isn't how I see it, or it's meant to be ihatemyguts: it's a group as a whole inandout: I wanted to organise a meet up to make things cooler inandout: sometimes you don't wanna shout shit into the void inandout: you wanna look someone in the eye when you're talking to them inandout: so you don't have to feel othered ihatemyguts: ^^ inandout: I get to do things with all my other friends inandout: that's what you guys are tigerbalm: I don't have other friends, I'm not saying it to make anyone 😿 tigerbalm: but I don't tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: you've got us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and we don't need to apologize for being friends tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and I think meeting up is a really good idea, I'll be happy to help brainpain: It's okay, Robyn, none of us have done anything wrong gotspoons: I've contacted the moderators, I'll let you know when I get a response brainpain: I did too ✌️ gotspoons: Good, everyone who feels they need to, should gotspoons: I'm glad your open-day went well, Rich brainpain: me too, hot 🤓 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Thanks, guys tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it's got potential tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: once I get there and make some changes, of course tigerbalm: 🙌 You go, Rich! 🧡 tigerbalm: not to use a banned word but you do inspire me for when I get to uni myself tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: We'll allow it, well I will because I love a compliment tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and you'll be great when you do tigerbalm: I hope my parents won't make me stay local tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: If you don't want to, you shouldn't tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: don't let anything stop you tigerbalm: I'll try not to tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: when you need them, I can throw all the resources and info at you tigerbalm: thanks brainpain: Can we talk about me now cos that's the ONLY reason I'm here LMAO ihatemyguts: @Zach, gonna come at her with your famous line? inandout: you've built it up now ihatemyguts: 🙄 ugh, baby inandout: are we at pet names? cool ihatemyguts: 😂 shut up ihatemyguts: but don't, all voices welcome inandout: yours is dragon ball z inandout: for today ihatemyguts: romantic ihatemyguts: we're meant to be talking about Lauren inandout: Lauren's is low blow ihatemyguts: got a real talent, kid ihatemyguts: may as well do the entire group inandout: wouldn't wanna exclude anyone ihatemyguts: 😏 ihatemyguts: no one will be devastated about that, trust me inandout: damn inandout: or dang ihatemyguts: is that another group rule I've shamelessly flouted? 😬 brainpain: It's a me rule, dragon ball brainpain: you're safe in this safe space ihatemyguts: I'll do my best to mind my Ps & Qs ihatemyguts: 🤞 brainpain: you're fine I'm just aware of my 👵 status brainpain: don't wanna spook the 👶s ihatemyguts: thoughtful ihatemyguts: 👌 brainpain: who knew? brainpain: check me out, not being a huge b word ihatemyguts: honestly, disappointing brainpain: @ my exes ihatemyguts: they aren't here, are they ihatemyguts: @fibro not included brainpain: only my next brainpain: when I snag Rich for myself brainpain: gotta tame that playboy ihatemyguts: so many 💔💔💔 @ this news brainpain: long as you're not brainpain: he's too old for you, babe tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I feel used tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and yes, much too 👴 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: be your ex-husband at this rate brainpain: I'm not gonna say, you can use me too, in front of the children brainpain: but mutual love & respect, boy tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Shocking behaviour, Mrs brainpain: asking for discipline would also be over the line, sir gotspoons: OKAY gotspoons: putting a stop to this convo thank you gotspoons: 😳 gotspoons: 😳 gotspoons: 😳 gotspoons: 😳 gotspoons: have I covered it? brainpain: g dang it, Rich! Have I not been involved in enough controversy for one day? brainpain: turn away from me, you sexy beast gotspoons: you're very cute but terrible gotspoons: ogre princess putting her foot down on this one tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'll take the blame tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: rushing to your defense again brainpain: 😍 ihatemyguts: sure wish someone would run in and change the topic ihatemyguts: it's like mum and dad have had too much 🍷 inandout: could be a prime time for you to ask Robbie on your first date, dbz ihatemyguts: Oh yeah! 💡 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 💘 is in the air tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: careful, Zach ihatemyguts: Robyn, have you decided what you're gonna wear to your party yet? tigerbalm: I have a moodboard tigerbalm: would you like to see it? ihatemyguts: Um, absolutely tigerbalm: [that moodboard] ihatemyguts: So, you'd be up for going into town to try-on stuff, right? ihatemyguts: I can think of some shops with some unique stuff tigerbalm: 😺!!! ihatemyguts: Is that a yes 😺 or a I'm calling the police 😺? tigerbalm: I'd love to tigerbalm: my parents might call the police though ihatemyguts: that's alright, I've given you a fake name tigerbalm: they would think so tigerbalm: but their name choices are pretty boring ihatemyguts: at least you've got a super cute name ihatemyguts: if it'd make them feel better though, I'll come meet them or whatever tigerbalm: oh thanks x2 tigerbalm: that's so nice ihatemyguts: 'course ihatemyguts: who doesn't like shopping? inandout: I don't inandout: that much ihatemyguts: that'll be why you didn't ask yourself inandout: I would never third wheel your date inandout: very uncool ihatemyguts: well, if anyone does wanna come along, that'd be alright brainpain: happy to invite myself into any convo or situation ihatemyguts: 🤓 or 😎 ihatemyguts: you could do our makeup ihatemyguts: because not joking about the trainwreck it is when I do ihatemyguts: 🤡 not the theme brainpain: to avoid a spooky 🤡 resurge brainpain: I shall gotspoons: 😱😱😱😱 gotspoons: I hate clowns tigerbalm: SAME! my brothers love the 🤡🎈 films but I can't watch 🙀 gotspoons: Nooooooo gotspoons: even the advert was scary tigerbalm: ever since I went to the 🎪🐘🤡🍿 as a child I'm like traumatised inandout: once I got dragged along when my parents went shopping for a sofa and there was a clown there inandout: as a mascot or something gotspoons: 😭 THAT'S HORRIFYING inandout: fever dreams are made of this inandout: he kept trying to ruffle my hair ihatemyguts: definitely a bad omen ihatemyguts: that clown was there to warn you about...something inandout: I'm not classing it as a date though, you still get to go first inandout: the warning'll simply be my impending death ihatemyguts: your first bad omen ihatemyguts: n'awh inandout: cute, right? ihatemyguts: 🐭 🐹 🐰 inandout: 🐿🦔 ihatemyguts: 🦄 brainpain: sure, I'll chaperone you two brainpain: ✨ ihatemyguts: result brainpain: arms length, Zachary gotspoons: I feel like I'm on a dating site brainpain: there'd be way more fibros if we were gotspoons: I've never even attempted to date gotspoons: such a minefield brainpain: if you change your mind, I'll get my sister to list off which ones to avoid brainpain: she feeds me a new spooky story weekly gotspoons: see, it's bad enough without the added 'who I am' drama brainpain: get yourself a love interest with more 🚑💊💉 drama than you, that's what I do brainpain: you're the chill one by comparison gotspoons: Rich is still here lurking, you know 🤭 brainpain: he knows what we have is deep + meaningful tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👌 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: very serious brainpain: I'm coaching Rosie for her first venture into dating not discussing our lengthy but ultimately doomed love affair tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: doomed because 💀💀 or doomed because someone will join the group with ultimate 🚑💊💉 drama and better hair? brainpain: @Zach with that death clock bs brainpain: doomed cos you'll meet a hot 🤓 at uni brainpain: nobody has better hair than either of us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Okay then, I won't be pre-offended and call you out on that nonsense brainpain: that isn't a promise that you'll still have time for me brainpain: we're all waiting, Rich tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: depends how hot and how nerdy this university girl is, of course brainpain: Profess your undying love for me or get out, honestly tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 😏 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Rosie will shut it down again brainpain: 😉 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: She's a hater 💔 gotspoons: 😱 Rich! gotspoons: I'm very supportive brainpain: LOL gotspoons: 😥 gotspoons: I love love brainpain: you're a 🧸 brainpain: I love you, Rosemary brainpain: feel free to ignore my husband gotspoons: I ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 you all too gotspoons: even if you test my nerves sometimes, it's only in a good way 😅 tigerbalm: So, if one of us had a 'normal' crush, would that be doomed? tigerbalm: asking for a friend 😳 gotspoons: OF COURSE NOT gotspoons: you're beautiful gotspoons: spill spill! tigerbalm: there isn't much to say except his running route goes past my house tigerbalm: we've 👋 at each other but no conversation has happened gotspoons: HOW EXCITING ihatemyguts: You've gotta talk to him ihatemyguts: such a meet-cute tigerbalm: I have no idea what I would say ihatemyguts: a hello to go with the 👋 to start ihatemyguts: you'll know what to do tigerbalm: a 'how are you?' to follow but what then? ihatemyguts: something like...you run this route often? ihatemyguts: do you run anywhere else? ihatemyguts: are you single? tigerbalm: 🐱 gotspoons: Oh! gotspoons: What does he look like? gotspoons: Can you take a picture? gotspoons: No, perhaps not gotspoons: I've got snap happy now 😅 tigerbalm: I'll try if I can do it without anyone else noticing tigerbalm: it's okay if my cat judges me, but no humans tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I cannot officially endorse this behaviour, ladies tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but I'm sure he would be very flattered and consider himself lucky, Robyn tigerbalm: Oh Rich, you're such a big softie 😸 brainpain: LMAO brainpain: forget the boy, I want pics of your cat tigerbalm: [cat pics] 🧡 inandout: that is a potentially judgemental looking moggy, be careful tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: girl or boy? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: he or she is very distinguished looking, I feel tigerbalm: me & my mum were feeling outnumbered, so she got adopted too tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: fight the power ✊ tigerbalm: I have rabbits too but they would probably encourage me, they're pretty naughty tigerbalm: for fairness tigerbalm: [rabbit pics] brainpain: I had 🐭🐭 as a kid brainpain: LOVED those critters brainpain: [picture of kiddo Lauren with mice on her shoulders] ihatemyguts: I wish I was allowed pets with fur ihatemyguts: scales only inandout: I'm not either inandout: my brother's allergic ihatemyguts: maybe we have the same brother ihatemyguts: slightly concerned now inandout: yours isn't as old as mine, we know that inandout: unless some kind of freaky time loop or something has happened ihatemyguts: I'm you in a parallel universe inandout: before I agree to co-sign, do you have any pets with scales? ihatemyguts: 🐉 🐲 inandout: cool inandout: I accept our parallel lives ihatemyguts: [pics of your dragons 'cos probably have one each lowkey] inandout: if I'm the only petless one in the "core" I will have to hang my head ihatemyguts: you can have joint custody ihatemyguts: don't worry inandout: pet names + a pet share? What a day ihatemyguts: v generous inandout: I'm making that discovery ihatemyguts: 🎁🔍 inandout: I wish we were doing a treasure hunt inandout: that's gonna be date 4 ihatemyguts: challenge accepted ihatemyguts: you gotta find the treasure outside then rehide it though ihatemyguts: more fun inandout: rules accepted ihatemyguts: if you happen to find 💰💎🏺🧭🔮🧿📿 then we'll bury it inandout: what happens if I find a 🗝? ihatemyguts: #5 finding the 🚪 or 🔓 it fits brainpain: Wait, how many dates am I chaperoning you 👶🤓s for? brainpain: gotta find a ✏️ to write this down ihatemyguts: technically, Zach wants to wait 'til he's not 🔞 ihatemyguts: unless you're well dedicated to protect and serve ihatemyguts: also plenty of time to lose that 📄 inandout: don't listen to her, the first date is Robbie's party and we've all 📅 ihatemyguts: might be a double date ihatemyguts: 💃🏃 tigerbalm: I'm so happy that you're both coming! tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Of course they're not missing the event of the season tigerbalm: 😸😺 tigerbalm: I better plan some more tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It is your forte tigerbalm: compliments are yours tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and hair tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: humility, less so brainpain: I can vouch for that being why we're soulmates tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it's the way you can dominate a conversation tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: like a girl with something to say brainpain: 😏 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Tease brainpain: you'd be into it if I were tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: now she speaks 🤫 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: If Rosie isn't sleeping she'll be 😖 brainpain: I know how to behave, you're the bad influence here tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Gladly take that reputation tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: much worse could be said about me brainpain: catch that 2nd wave of drama when the haters log back in tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I hope so brainpain: only cos you missed the kick off tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Not taking politics for nothing brainpain: they can 🔫 @ me if it means you get your 🎓 babe tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: long as I can 🛡 without being fibro about it brainpain: you did tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👍 gotspoons: I was thinking gotspoons: maybe if we make more boards for specific topics, that would be better? gotspoons: then the chat could be just that, a casual chat that isn't necessarily disability related but us related, as people gotspoons: what do you guys think? brainpain: I'm in inandout: me too inandout: I was gonna make a similar suggestion but it was my last idea that started everything earlier gotspoons: It's not your fault, Zach gotspoons: I just need to do some admin, update the site tigerbalm: I can help if you need any gotspoons: Thanks, Robbie

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duhragonball · 6 years ago

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Dragon Ball Z Movie 1: Dead Zone

All right, it’s time or the first DBZ movie. Dead Zone premiered on July 15, 1989, right between epsiodes 11 and 12. It wasn’t actually called “Dead Zone”, and it’s title was simply “Dragon Ball Z” until the other movies came out, and then it was known in Japan as “Return my Gohan!” Personally, I think “Dead Zone” works better as a title although it doesn’t really come into play until the very end.

I ran into some trouble with this one, because I own all the DBZ movies on Blu-Ray, and it turns out that I can’t take screen captures of Blu-Ray movies on my computer. So my only other option was to log on to Funimation’s streaming service and get my images from there. But the video quality was pathetic, so I’ll apologize in advance for the crappy screenshots.

I’m not sure how I’ll proceed with the other films. I can’t use Funimation.com for all of them, because the Bardock special, the Broly movies, and Fusion Reborn were all taken off the site, probably because they’ve been playing them in theaters lately. I guess I could buy the DVD editions, but I’m not sure it’s worth the trouble. Well, I’ll worry about that later.

We open on this shot of Piccolo screaming. Right away, you call tell this is going to be a great movie. Casablanca should have done this.

I’m not sure what Piccolo is up to here, but I guess he’s blowing up rock formations as part of his training to beat Goku someday.

Then he gets ambushed by three mysterious warriors, and they pretty much eat his lunch. A fourth one orders them to kill Piccolo.

Piccolo screams, and there’s an explosion, and the bad guys seem pretty confident that he’s dead. They also know that since Piccolo and Kami were once the same person, they’ve killed Kami along with Piccolo, which seems to have been the purpose of this attack.

Except Kami’s just fine. We see him on the Lookout, sitting in what looks like a confessional. He’s startled, but only because he can sense that Piccolo has been defeated. He suspects Goku, but then he realizes that it must have been... him.

From there, we move on to Goku’s house, where the Ox King just arrived to bring Gohan some presents. It’s very much like the first few episodes of DBZ, only this time Gohan is actually home when Ox shows up.

But then Ox King collapses, and Gohan has to run away before his grandpa can fall on him.

Turns out some bad guy coldcocked Ox King from behind, and now he wants the Dragon Ball on Gohan’s hat. Chi-Chi sends Gohan into the relative safety of the house...

...but this guy’s waiting inside, so that’s no good. Also he eats three pears, just because.

Chi-Chi squares up to fight these guys, but there’s three of them and one of her, and she has to keep an eye on Gohan too. There’s a lot of gifs out there of Chi-Chi’s desperate stance in this movie, because it’s just so well-animated. Everything in this movie is well-animated, really. It might not be the most innovative story, but the visuals more than make up for it.

Chi-Chi can’t even land a blow, as it turns out. The bad guys take Gohan and leave, and Goku’s out fishing. Somehow, he senses it when Chi-Chi falls, and he runs back to the house to see what’s wrong. Chi-Chi tells him that his son has been kidnapped by bad guys. The question now is: Is Goku a bad enough dude to rescue him? The answer is yes.

Then we cut to the bad guys’ lair. This shot looks amazing. I love the weird architecture of the castle, I love the salmon-colored sky and the yellow clouds, it’s just really pleasant to look at. I’d hang this up on my wall at home if I did that sort of thing.

The leader, named Garlic Junior, plans to use the Dragon Balls to wish for eternal life. With Gohan’s capture, they now have five of the Dragon Balls, and they seem pretty confident that they can locate the last two without much trouble. I’m curious as to how they can find them so easily, but this is never explained.

Also, I don’t understand why they kidnapped Gohan when all they wanted was the Dragon Ball on his hat. Gohan informs them that his father will come rescue him, and the bad guys seem mildly impressed to learn that Goku is his father. Garlic even recognizes Goku as the man who defeated Piccolo at the World Martial Arts tournament. On the other hand, they just got done beating Piccolo, and quite easily, so they figure they can handle Goku if he happens to show up.

Garlic senses that Gohan has a great power within him, and decides to raise him as his henchman. This right here turns out to be a huge mistake. Bringing Gohan here was a questionable move at best, but here we see Garlic decide to keep the kid, rather than kill him or send him back to his family. It just isn’t worth it. Yeah, Gohan might make a useful flunky, but does Garlic really need one? Probably not, but he’s too high on his own success to hedge his bets.

Meanwhile, Goku heads to Master Roshi’s place to get Bulma’s Dragon Radar. Not sure how he knew Bulma was at Roshi’s place, but whatever. Just like in the TV series, when Radditz kidnapped Gohan, Goku was able to track his son by the Dragon Ball on his hat. And this seems like a good time to discuss the continuity of this movie.

See, the original Dragon Ball movies sort of functioned as a retelling of Goku’s early adventures, with different characters and plot elements tossed in. It was readily apparent that they didn’t fit into the continuity of the TV anime or the manga, because they literally retold key moments, like Goku meeting Bulma for the first time, or Krilln meeting Master Roshi, or Tao Pai Pai’s murder of Bora. But the circumstances were changed, so it was clear that those movie moments didn’t fit in with the original story. The DBZ movies, on the other hand, sort of operate as side-stories to the manga and anime, ecxcept that there’s usually one or two plot holes that keep them from fitting into the mythos.

In this case, the big problem is that Bulma, Roshi, and Krillin are helping Goku find his lost son, but they didn’t find out Goku even had a son until Episode 2 of DBZ, which ends with Radditz kidnapping the boy. If not for this scene right here, you could make an argument that this movie works as a prequel to DBZ, and Gohan got kidnapped by a different supervillain right before Raditz showed up.

So why not say that it’s set after the battle with Raditz? Because Goku dies in that battle, and by the time he comes back, Piccolo is dead. By the time Piccolo returns to life, they’re all on Planet Namek. You won��t see all of these characters reunited on Earth until Episode 121. By that time, Goku’s a Super Saiyan, and Gohan is a few years older, and far more capable than the timid little boy we see in this movie.

Still, it’s a pretty subtle plot hole, which I think is why some fans cling to the idea that the movies are canon somehow. It doesn’t help that Toei did a whole filler arc in the anime, where Garlic Junior returns and references the events of the movie, but it just doesn’t make sense.

Back at Garlic’s castle, he’s sent two of his minions to gather the last two Dragon Balls, while the third has to look after Gohan. He doesn’t care much for this, and he stops to take a break by eating fruit from a tree in the courtyard...

... But Gohan has the same idea.

Turns out this is special fruit that gets you drunk.

Gohan has a whole hallucination, complete with a musical theme.

Somehow he wanders into Garlic’s oversized novelty cuckoo clock.

And then he sleeps it off on Garlic’s throne. Garlic seems to consider all of this as a sign that Gohan is no ordinary child, so maybe a normal kid would just pass out or die if they ate that fruit.

Doesn’t matter, because it’s wish time. Garlic gets all seven balls, and he asks the Dragon to make him immortal, and it works! Goku’s still on his way when this happens. It’s kind of surreal to see a bad guy pull something like this off without a hitch. Even King Piccolo had to fight a few people first.

The actual process of making Garlic Junior immortal seems to involve some sort of energy transfer. It even looks a little uncomfortable, but Garlic is sure that it worked.

then we get this whole scene of demons rising up from the ground and marching off to war. I’m not sure if this is actually happening while Garlic is becoming immortal, or if he’s just imagining what he’s going to do now that no one can stop him.

Goku arrives soon after, demanding the release of his son, and then Kami shows up, all glowing yellow like he’s a big shot. Garlic is shocked to see Kami, since he assumed he was already dead, but Goku is just annoyed that Kami is butting into his rescue mission. This scene makes a lot more sense when you’ve seen Kami and Goku quibble over the fight with Piccolo in the original Dragon Ball.

From there, Kami starts explaining just who Garlic Junior is. Turns out that Garlic Senior was Kami’s rival for the job of Guardian of the Earth. The previous Kami recognized the evil ambitions in Garlic, Sr.’s heart, so he picked the guy we now know as Kami. Garlic, Sr. was a sore loser about this, so he rebelled against Kami, only to be defeated. According to Kami, Garlic Senior’s last words were that he would take his revenge 300 years later.

Kami finds it tragic that Garlic would be so evil as to put his own son in charge of his vengeance, but that’s where things stand. So let’s talk about this for a bit.

I guess this is one of the things that makes this one of my favorites. The previous films really didn’t add anything to the lore or advance the story. Mystical Adventure was pretty good and fun, but it basically rehashed the same ideas that were already established in the TV series. My favorite part of that movie was the Mifan Empire, but it can’t exist outside of that movie, because there’s no Chiaotzu or Crane Hermit to run the place. On the other hand, the villain in Dead Zone has ties to Kami, which means that we can learn some things about Kami that maybe fit into the canon as well? Like, this movie isn’t canon, but Kami is, so maybe he really did have to compete with a guy named Garlic to get the job 300 years ago?

Anyway, Garlic Junior seems to be an amalgam of several Dragon Ball villains. He looks a lot like Emperor Pilaf, to the point where Funimation cast Chuck Huber to play both roles. Garlic always struck me as an attempt to make an Emperor Pilaf who could really cause trouble. Beyond that, Garlic also resembles King Piccolo because of his wish on the Dragon Balls and his plan to conquer the world, and he resembles Piccolo Junior, in the sense that he’s been tasked to avenge the defeat of his wicked father. I don’t know if the Garlics have the same relationship as the Piccolos, where the son is essentially a duplicate of the father, but it could be like that. Garlic also resembles Raditz by kidnapping Gohan and using similar moves to battle Goku and Piccolo later, and finally, he resembles Vegeta in his desire to wish for immortality. Put all of this together, and you end up with a pretty compelling movie boss.

At his core, though, I think Garlic is sort of meant to be an evil version of Kami. Garlic Senior failed to impress the previous Kami, so he went full-on evil. The current Kami, on the other hand, succeeded because he purged himself of his wickedness, although he created Piccolo in the process. The implication here is that it was kind of a no-win situation. The previous Kami had to choose between two inadequate applicants. One became a villain and the other created a villain. Even when Garlic Senior was defeated, his son was left behind to carry on his vendetta.

The story raises more questions than answers, though. What was Garlic Junior doing for 300 years? Training, I guess, but it never gets explained. The Garlic Junior Saga will later establish that he and his father are aliens from the planet Makyo, so how does that all fit into this? Was Garlic Senior always a bad guy, or was he truly sincere in his desire to become Kami until he was turned down for the job? Where are the Spice Boys in all of this?

Anyway, Goku doesn’t care about any of this. He’s just here for his son, and for some reason Garlic’s minions actually bother to stop him. They introduce themselves as Ginger...

...Sansho...

... And Nikki.

Then they puff up their bodies to get stronger and faster.

The three of them give Goku a little trouble, but then Krillin and Piccolo show up and the odds are now even. I guess Krillin followed Goku here from Roshi’s place, while Piccolo survived the ambush from the start of the movie, and now he’s here for revenge.

Turns out that Garic’s henchmen aren’t so tough when they can’t gang up on someone. Piccolo crushes Sansho like it’s not even hard.

Meanwhile, Kami and Garlic fight. This is kind of a big deal, because we never get to see Kami in action in the anime, even though he was supposed to be a very powerful character in the Piccolo sagas. But this is DBZ, so he’s helpless against as DBZ villain like Garlic.

But Kami still has some power to spare.

Meanwhile, Goku fights Nikki and Ginger at the same time, and while they give him a little trouble, he wins pretty handily. This movie also marks one of the few times we see Goku use his Nyoibo as an adult. I feel like DBZ never quite figured out what happened to the Nyoibo after Goku came down from Kami’s Lookout, but he’s got it in this movie, and he needs it, because Nikki and Ginger can pull swords out of their bodies.

This movie also marks the first time Goku actually kills a villain with a Kamehameha. In the past he either misses or the bad guy survives somehow, but here he aims at Ginger, hits him, and then hits Nikki with the same blast. That’s one of the nice things about the movies. They’re very short and self-contained, so there isn’t time for plot twists like “The big finishing move didn’t work!” or “Goku lost! What do we do now?” If Goku loses in a movie he just has to get up and try again, or hope the bad guy is feeling merciful.

Kami is clearly overmatched against Garlic, so he tries to blow himself up to kill Garlic in the process. Trouble is, Garlic’s immortal, so that trick wouldn’t work.

Fortunately, Goku and Piccolo want a piece of Garlic Junior, so Kami can sit this one out. Garlic actually wonders why either of these dudes would come to Kami’s aid. Isn’t it obvious? Garlic kidnapped Goku’s son, and he ambushed Piccolo, so now they want revenge. I mean, on top of that, Garlic’s plans for the Earth would make things tough for their own lives, but there’s plenty of reasons for them to want to beat him up.

So Garlic transforms into the big beefy guy we saw in shadow a the start of the movie. I guess this makes him the first Dragon Ball character to transform? Well, Goku and Gohan turned into giant apes, but still, this is kind of a big deal.

Like I was saying, Garlic sort of resembles Raditz here, in that he managed to get Goku and Piccolo to team up against him. He even uses the same opening move as Raditz, rushing towards them, vanishing, and then hitting them in the back with his elbows at the same time.

So where’s Krillin in all of this? Goku tasked him with looking after Gohan, but when the fight started, Krillin got clobbered by a falling pillar and dropped the kid.

Outside, Goku and Piccolo shed their weighted training clothes, just as they did against Raditz. Goku again expresses surprise that Piccolo even uses weighted training clothes, so once again, this episode just doesn’t fit in continuity. They could have teamed up to fight Garlic and Raditz, but Goku can only find out about Piccolo’s weighted clothes once.

Anyway, shedding the wieghted clothes seems to do the trick pretty well, so I guess that means Garlic Junior isn’t quite as tough as Raditz.

For some reason, they decide Garlic is beaten, so they move on to settling their own rivalry. Did everyone just forget that he’s immortal?

Garlic Junior sure didn’t, since he’s back on his feet. But instead of fighting again, he takes a different approach.

Here’s a great shot of the castle, by the way.

Then this black hole looking thing opens up in the sky and starts sucking everything into it.

Piccolo almost gets drawn in, but Goku manages to save him, which is pretty awesome.

I always thought “Dead Zone” was a dub-ism, but no, that’s what Garlic himself calls it in the original script. He even says “Dead Zone” in English. What is a dub-ism (I think) is that his father, Garlic Senior, was banished into the Dead Zone 300 years ago. Of course, any living thing that gets trapped in the Dead Zone gets killed eventually, so we might as well call that an execution, but the Japanese dub never mentions this when discussing Senior’s fate.

It would be kind of ironic, though, because Kami doesn’t have anything to do with the power of opening portals to the Dead Zone. Garlic Junior can do it (obviously), so if Senior got stuck in the Dead Zone, then that sort of implies that he put himself there accidentally, just like Junior is about to... well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Turns out Gohan’s awake now, and he’s mad.

I mean really mad!

Garlic isn’t entirely surprised to see that Gohan can resist the suction of the Dead Zone, but he doesn’t seem to think Gohan can stop him either. He prepares to attack him with all of his power...

But Gohan fires an energy blast that knocks Garlic off his feet, and sends him into the Dead Zone instead.

Garlic proclaims that this won’t kill him, but I don’t know if he’s relieved or terrified by that prospect.

Now that the moment has passed, Gohan just sort of passes out.

And without Garlic to maintain the portal, the effect wears off.

And then the sky fractures? I don’t know what this is supposed to mean. I thought the yellow and red color scheme just meant that it was sunset at Garlic’s fortress...

But now it’s a clear blue mid-day sky. So I guess it was Garlic Junior’s doing? Anyway, Kami remarks that he’s trapped forever in the Dead Zone, without even death to relieve his suffering in that place.

Ironically, Gohan thinks it was Goku who saved him, when it was actually the other way around.

Piccolo watches the others leave, and promises to deal with Goku another day.

And then we find the shards of the orange sky on the bottom of the sea, and Garlic is inside one of them, desperately trying to get out.

So yeah, this is one of my personal faves from the movies. I dig the idea of a bad guy actually wishing for immortality, only to have it backfire on him so spectacularly. It fits in nicely with the whole theme of greed in this story. Garlic didn’t need to attack Piccolo or kidnap Gohan to further his plan, but he did it anyway because he saw no downside to it, and it all came back to haunt him. Goku and Piccolo almost lost when they got too wrapped up in their own grudge, but they managed to get back on track before it got out of hand.

Also, this movie is just a visual feast. Even simple things like Nikki eating pears or Chi-Chi tossing her apron aside are really beautifully done.

It’s a little light on characters, but after Mystical Adventure, I’d say that was a good move. Yeah, it would have been nice to have more of the gang in this movie, but they would have slowed the story down. Honestly, they could have left Krillin out of the mix and it wouldn’t have hurt anything.

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #dead zone #goku #piccolo #gohan #krillin #kami #garlic junior #nikki #ginger #sansho #shenron #garlic senior #master roshi #bulma #ox king #chi chi #dbmovieliveblog

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snowells1234 · 6 years ago

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I'll keep you safe chapter 3

AN:Ok my lovely people this is the new installment of my bruce and reader story. Hope you like it. If anyone wants to be tagged in this story please let me know.

Pairing: Bruce Banner x Reader.

Pulling up to the church Bruce couldn’t help but feel annoyed as he spotted about twenty news vans outside. He felt like they were only there to see if they could get any kinda dirt on the Avengers and that they weren’t there because of the fact the Y/N had died and the more he thought about it the more it made him sick to his stomach. He was debating if they should just go around the back so they wouldn’t have to go through the circus that the media tried to create. “I can’t believe that those vultures showed up.” He heard Clint hiss.

The car stopped just outside the mass of reporters and he could feel himself getting a more uneasy feeling. Before stepping out of the car he took a couple of deep breaths. He knew he needed to do this or he would never forgive himself for not coming. Stepping out of the car he followed Clint and Natasha to the doors of the church. As soon as they emerged the shouts started he only caught a little of what they were shouting but he did manage to catch a quick, “How are all you dealing with the fact that you couldn’t save Y/N?” Turning around to look at the reporter he felt a sudden anger at the middle aged blonde woman. Clint sensing he was about to say something stepped in and said, “Bruce it’s not worth it ignore these hacks.” Agreeing with his team mate he took a couple deep breaths and proceeded into the quiet building.

Looking around he saw that the rest of the team was already there including Thor who didn’t look too happy. He guessed the blonde must have heard what was said. Everyone just stared at one another not sure what to say or do. Steve walked over to one of the pews in the third row and took a seat. Everyone else followed him but Clint who seemed to be waiting for someone. The door opened again this time Pepper walked in she looked very upset. “Can you believe the nerve of those people coming here?” She looked like she was about to start fuming. Rhodey walked over and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and guided her to the first row.

Thirty minutes rolled by before the service started not many people showed up but Bruce didn’t think that was odd Y/N didn’t have many friends. The preacher walked up to the podium to start the service. Clearing his throat he began, “Y/N Stark was a great woman who will be missed dearly but she will never be forgotten by anyone. Her life was not wasted her brother had said.” Bruce didn’t think that this preacher ever talked to Tony maybe Pepper set it all up. He started to tune out the man’s voice after a while because he didn’t think he could handle hearing about how this really was the end and maybe he was trying to give himself false hope by thinking this was all some horrible dream that he would wake up from but he didn’t think that was going to happen.

So letting his mind wonder like he usually did when bad stuff happened Bruce began to think about the first time he meet you. It was the day after the battle of New York he had been invited again by Tony to come to Stark Tower, finally giving in Bruce decided to go. When he got there Tony was talking to a woman with H/C hair she seemed to be joking with him. That was the first thing that caught his attention was her laugh he remembered because it sounded like the sweetest thing he had heard in a very long time. He also remembered how when Tony introduced you both your smile lit up your whole face and he couldn’t remember the last time anyone smiled at him like that most people were afraid of the other guy so there for afraid of him but not you. You seemed more curious than afraid.

“Bruce.” He was pulled out of his fond memories by Clint. Looking around Bruce could see that everyone was moving in front of the church to say their final goodbyes. As he stood and walked toward the Casket he couldn’t help but be thankful that they decided to have a closed casket. He didn’t think he could live with that image of Y/N lifeless face being the last thing he would see of you.

He watched as Thor had laid his hand on the casket and said something in a weird language he never heard of but the words sounded as if it were a poem, it really made him wonder what they meant but he wouldn’t ask. Finally it was his turn he could feel his chest tightening he didn't know what to do or say for that matter so he mimicked what Thor had done but then he could feel himself lowering his head getting closer to the polished wood. His forehead made contact with the cool surface and he couldn’t hold back the tears any longer he felt them streaming down his face but he knew he had to get ahold of himself because him and high emotions don’t go well. whispering, “I’ll always regret not telling you about my feelings, but I know that you’ll be with all of us no matter what.” Then just before he lifted his head he brushed his lips against the polished wood.

Keeping his head down he wiped away at his tear stained face. “Maybe we should get back to the tower? Check on Tony?” Hearing Steve’s cracked voice brought him back to the present.

Stepping outside the church was quite a hassle the media was still there throwing out their questions and making it difficult to get out of there. “Why was Tony not here?” He heard one shout and then like someone had shot off a gun at that moment another shouted, “Didn’t he care to come to say goodbye?” That’s when Bruce could feel himself about to lose it he spun around to face the reporter who was now probably regretting his choice of question because he looked about ready to swallow his own microphone. But before Bruce could interfere Rhodey stepped between him and the scared reporter Bruce didn’t hear what was said because Thor and Clint pulled him away but he wished he could have known what it was. Climbing into the car he kept his head down and took some deep breaths to calm himself. Looking up when the door was closed he saw that Clint again was riding with him but this time Thor had decided to tag along. His two companions began complaining about the media. Bruce just stared out the window not wanting to join in he just wanted this nightmare to be over.

AN: Ok lovely readers please tell me what you thought about this one and do you guys want to see someone else point of view if so please let me know. Chapter 4 has been uploaded.

Tags @booklover2929

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gameridernews · 7 years ago

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Ex-Aid review: Kamen Sentai Gorider

I was originally lumping this in with the other spinoff material, but then I realized the Gorider stuff was basically movie length, so it makes sense to talk about it on its own. Since this is a crossover... spoilers for Gaim, Blade and Agito! That's completely unavoidable due to one key aspect of this crossover. Let's begin.

Kamen Sentai Gorider is a weird crossover, billed as a sequel to Choh Superhero Taisen, that features 5 returning Riders who... at some point transform into the Goriders, a combination of the original Sentai and the original Rider. I really don't understand the logic of even making these suits, but it's certainly a conversation piece.

This one is currently only available with TV-Nihon's subs but Excite was talking about working on it. It's an interesting one because it was originally released via the au streaming service called Video Pass, and thankfully received a DVD release later. These were released in 3 parts, called Mazes, each being about 30 minutes long and equating to a movie overall. Let's see if it was all worth it.

Maze 1: Emu died?

Well, with a title like that, who could resist checking this out?

The story is entirely set within an amusement park that's just in the middle of nothingness. Emu wakes up here and finds a small hut with a fancy candlelit table. Poppy is here in a kimono, calmly serving drinks in a robotic fashion, then walks away. Then a figure enters the room - an older man that Emu immediately recognizes as a guy named Kino. He transforms into Another Agito, which is another Agito from Kamen Rider Agito.

... Okay, lemme just explain that a bit better - they don’t really explain it. Basically, the term "Agito" in that series is used to refer to someone who’s been gifted with special powers, more or less. The titular hero and this guy are both classified as Agitos, and since Kino appeared later as another Agito, it makes sense that his name in later promotional material was... Another Agito. It's easy for that to be a "IS this a Kamen Rider?" debate, but with the current Buttobasoul games, he actually got the full title "Kamen Rider Another Agito". Very cool he actually got picked for this crossover, out of all the green Riders.

Since Kino is suspicious about basically being summoned from death, he transforms into Another Agito and tries fighting Ex-Aid outside, only for another introduction from a man named Kenzaki; Kamen Rider Blade.

So, the ending of Kamen Rider Blade is interesting and I am gonna have trouble shucking and jiving my way around it since this crossover heavily makes use of this. Kenzaki explains how he's technically dead because he allowed himself to become an Undead, the monsters of Kamen Rider Blade's series. It... makes sense in toku terms, but as we learn later, we don't need to think too much about that logic. Until now, I never had strong feelings about the main character one way or the other, outside of my lukewarm feelings on the show itself. But that will change once we get to the third part of this.

Despite Emu having this unexplainable feeling that there's no way out, Kino and Kenzaki decide that the best course of action is to simply leave the amusement park, but they find themselves coming back to the same spot everytime. Meanwhile, we get a couple lovely returning people from Gaim! Minato (Kamen Rider Malika) appears, putting Emu into a tight grip as Kaito (Kamen Rider Baron) stands before him with judging eyes.

Let's talk about Gaim. Gaim is still my top favorite show, but the more I hear other people share their thoughts on it, the more I'm realizing Kaito is... a problematic anti-hero/villain. I think he had a good character at the start but it's once he becomes a villain that his motivations become one-dimensional, and in some ways, confusing. Minato likewise is a pretty great badass character, but there's a section of fandom that believes she has some lousy gender representation to her, which I feel is probably just what happens when you interpret her motivations as romantic when they really don’t seem to be. But that’s as much as I’m gonna humor that discussion. In any case, Minato died to protect Kaito, and in the final battle with Gaim, the titular hero obviously needed to win. So out of the Riders so far, these are certainly the furthest from heroic deaths.

Despite that introduction, Kaito and Minato sit at the table with drinks, just in time for Kino and Kenzaki to come back from their endless walk. With all these people in a room together, they try to figure out what they must have in common in order to be gathered in one spot by some omnipotent force, and make one conclusion so far: All of them are Riders.

However, Kaito is never one to play nice, so he tries finding an escape. Minato follows and we get some nice banter, which is interrupted by the appearance of Shocker monsters... and it's here I also notice Kino specifically identifies these as Shocker, which gives me wonderful headcanons about Another Agito having dealt with them in the past. Must’ve mistaken him for Hongo.

Everyone gets a piece of the action, and finally... Kiriya appears, who transforms into Kamen Rider Lazer and finishes off the last monster. Meanwhile, back at the ranch hut, Emu questions how Kiriya is here after he died, which makes everyone realize the other connection they have: They all died in some way, which means Emu must’ve died as well.

Kino, however, is not convinced. He talks about how suspicious Emu has been up to this point, experiencing an inexplicable case of deja vu this entire time, and the clencher is the fact that there's a large mirror in the room that only Emu can see himself in. He seems to be the only one that stands out, which is reason enough for returning characters in a crossover to beat him up.

Maze 2: Escape

Everyone gangs up on Ex-Aid outside, until Lazer gives him the chance to escape and calm everyone down. They have some discussion, with Kaito criticizing Kiriya's trust in others, while Kenzaki finds Emu and encourages him. As they take on more of Shocker's disposables, the others talk and develop reasons to stop targeting Emu, and eventually show up to help him. Finally, directly at the halfway point, everyone is on the same page.

At the hut, Emu pieces some things together. They can't leave. Poppy in the hut repeats the same greeting everytime they enter. This, along with other things in the room that have reset themselves, reads like an RPG of some sort.

With that realization, Poppy enters the room again and transforms into a monster, which we learn is the final boss of this game. As they fight it outside it proves to be formidable against 6 Riders. While the others are distracted, Blade stabs Ex-Aid in the gut, giving him a nearly fatal wound. When questioned about it after Kenzaki trusted in him, Kenzaki reveals he's actually someone else in disguise - someone whose true identity is cropped off screen, but we can tell he's a crazy man in skinny jeans, so that narrows it down. Honestly though, I kinda expected Emu to be the actual fake, so kudos to them on that!

Emu is told that this game is designed to be unbeatable, and that everytime he plays it, he forgets all he learned, so he's doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over. Emu tries to hide, but the final boss tracks him down, delivering the final blow.

That's when we get a twist I actually didn't know about. Emu wakes up in CR, with Asuna being concerned about the current situation. We learn that Bugsters have suddenly been reviving all over the place, and Brave and Snipe can only hold them off for so long. Emu has to enter this game, represented in the real world by Genm Corp's console with a monster claw growing out of it. However, Emu recognizes the game is unbeatable... so do they even have a chance?

Maze 3: Forever Gorider

Emu tries playing through this game once more, while Asuna and a weakened Hiro are unsure about what to do. Just then, a mysterious person enters CR...

It's when Emu enters the hut, for the first time in his experience, he finds a mirror shard with some numbers written in blood - he saw this previously, but it was very unclear what these meant. I... think the idea is that time has resumed where he died before, because once he realizes what the numbers mean, the other Riders enter the room after being beaten up by the final boss. Initially, Emu has forgotten who they are, but one by one, they get him to remember. Once Kenzaki tries, however, Emu remembers who he really is and calls him out as a fake.

This is confirmed once a differently dressed Kenzaki walks into the room - the same person who came to CR just moments ago! It's revealed that he has a reflection like Emu, meaning he's very much alive, and the fake Kenzaki is (according to Emu's complex number code) none other than... Kuroto Dan.

Kuroto laughs maniacally and puts away this facade, revealing his true face. Emu knew that his actions were different than the others, so he left a clue for himself that would remain even if the room reset. Kuroto is impressed, but questions just how the real Kenzaki got here.

It's at this point I learned that this writer, Kento Shimoyama, must be the hugest fan of Kamen Rider Blade, because what happens next is Kenzaki appreciation fanfiction. Hell, this makes ME wanna use Kenzaki in some fanfiction.

Even though this is just a game world, Kuroto still used Undead abilities as a fake Blade. Undead are drawn to other Undead, so Kenzaki sensed this and came to the source in CR and had them send him into the game world. Clever stuff.

Kuroto reveals that he prepared this game in the event he dies, and that he intended to gather the despair of all these dead Riders and turn that into the power needed to resurrect himself - sure! That sounds like Shocker talk to me. Of course, since Kiriya was here, he had to disguise himself as Kenzaki-- Now, remember how I said it makes sense in a toku way that Kamen Rider Blade was considered "dead" because he was no longer human? Kuroto reveals here that he was taking on the form of Kenzaki, a Kamen Rider whose whereabouts were unknown - so that whole "technically I'm dead" stuff was Kuroto spouting bullshit. Took what I would disregard as toku logic and used it against me! I can respect that.

Kuroto thinks he's won, so he absorbs the life out of these Riders, but... then parts of the room get destroyed, causing cards to rain from the sky for some more brilliant Kenzaki dialogue.

Kenzaki tells Kuroto that he fucked up by taking on Kenzaki's likeness. Not only is Kenzaki an Undead, he's also a Joker specifically. The logic behind Undead dictates that once only one Joker remains, the world comes to an end. Since Kuroto revealed himself to be a fake, Kenzaki is now the only Undead left in this game world, therefore it is doomed to destruction. FUCKING. BRILLIANT. WRITING. Kenzaki is a badass.

The Bugster threat leaves the real world, and the amusement park in the game world has been reduced to a wasteland. Kuroto isn't done yet, however, as he transforms into his classic Zombie Gamer form, summons the final boss and more Shocker minions, then a big fight takes place. This ultimately culminates in Genm absorbing the power of the final boss, donning some crazy armor on top of his Rider suit.

Once it seems they've been cornered, Ex-Aid throws the Riders some cards from the events of Choh Superhero Taisen - using these, they transform into the Goriders, which was wholly unnecessary but at least they get more use here than in the movie. In the last fight. Of a three part special. Named after them.

The Goriders do three very Showa finishers, finally finishing off all of the enemies. However, Genm still won't stay down, and he attempts threaten them by warning that they won't be able to come back to life if they destroy him. Unfortunately for him, this whole experience has given them all acceptance in their deaths. So, Genm decides he wants to destroy the rest of this game world, along with all of them.

However, in one last noble sacrifice, Another Agito, Baron, Malika and Lazer hold Genm back and allow themselves to die with him, giving Ex-Aid and Blade the chance to escape and live on.

And so... we cut to later. Emu is back in the real world, and after telling Hiro and Asuna about what happened, he concludes that the Riders sacrificed themselves willingly and they shouldn't be too upset over it. We get a happy stroll downtown, bringing Gorider to an end.

So... how was it? Well, I'm pleasantly surprised at how well it works.

I mean, okay. Okay-okay-okay. Let me be clear about this: Crossovers in Rider are not on the same level of writing as the shows, so I’m a little less critical of them. They’ve gotta do a lot and you can’t expect the person writing this to fully GET the personalities of the characters they’re working with. Not to mention, you gotta do some weird shit to create higher stakes and justify a huge gathering of heroes.

What I think saves it for me is just how... fanfic-y it is, out of all the crossovers. They all have this certain vibe to them but this one is different.

Like, Gaim characters, sure they were popular so they make sense. Lazer’s from the current show and he’s dead, so bring him in. When you start working things in like Another Agito and the fucking brilliant use of Blade, it feels more like someone with a passion was involved and wanted to give their favorites a chance in the spotlight. Which is even cooler when you realize these actors weren’t even in the movie this special is a sequel to, so they were brought back just for this.

Also the Gorider stuff is a total “I wonder how this gets used!” gimmick that has very little relevance. I’m not gonna disagree on that. It really has no reason to exist, other than probably to give this an extra push.

Despite all that, it feels like fanfiction I can get behind, and I gotta say again, the stuff they did with Blade might be the most meaningful thing I’ve seen from these crossovers since Kamen Rider Taisen’s use of Faiz - and that’s going several years back to when they started really getting actors to come back.

I enjoyed this. It's got this odd somber atmosphere and it has some cool twists to it that don't usually happen with crossover material. They not only picked some interesting returning Riders, but also, Blade technically exists in the world of Ex-Aid and it kinda actually works!

At the end of the day, it's a crossover that has very little impact on anything and is completely optional, just like the Choh Superhero Taisen movie it's an indirect sequel to, but it’s enjoyable if you just want a little crossover action. I'm gonna miss the spring crossover movies since they've been getting lots of actors to come back and make the stories a little more meaningful - it makes a huge difference when you're seeing actual Kenzaki and actual Kino on screen instead of having them be in Rider suits the whole time with a soundalike.

So... now that I've finished going through the bonus material for Ex-Aid, it's time we have a look at the next thing on the list to review.

That review will be on @buildridernews and will be linked here.

See you Next Build.

#kamen rider exaid #reviews #feed

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florrickandassociates · 7 years ago

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TGF Thoughts: 2x11-- Day 478

(This is the ep from two weeks ago; I am behind on recap writing. Aiming to have 2x12 up before the finale!)

What’s the strategy behind using previouslies on a streaming show? CBS must expect that at least some viewers will wait until all the episodes are up and binge them, right? I’d be shocked if they had a feature that skipped previouslies the way Netflix does. I mean, just now, I tried to open up the app and play this episode, and CBS played that insanely long Klingon scene that opens Star Trek: Discovery (no, I don’t watch it—just the pilot) for me three times before it let me actually watch TGF.

The static on the TV to rain falling is a cool graphic match.

Diane is waiting for a car at 710 N Hart St. It’s not a real address, obviously. But at first glance it looked like it said McHart street so I’m pointing it out.

Diane is waiting out in the rain. The point of this scene is what happens while Diane waits, but I would LOVE to know what Diane was doing that she’s waiting in the rain.

Her ride is initially supposed to arrive in one minute. Then it jumps to 10, so she and her not-at-all-wet hair run into a laundromat. Guys, her hair looks totally dry. She was holding her bag over her head, and her hair somehow looks perfect. Like, she’s been standing out in the rain and her hair still looks better than Alicia’s hair did for all of season 7.

(I was going to compare her hair to what my hair does when it rains, but y’all don’t know my hair and you DO know the awful Alicia wig.)

Now Diane’s car is 15 minutes away. #Relatable

OMFG, CBS, I PAUSED TO TALK TO MY ROOMMATE, OPENED THE APP AGAIN, AND WHAT DO I GET? KLINGONS. Fix this.

Diane hears grunting and fighting going on in the laundromat, so she goes to investigate. I thought she was going to get mugged in this scene the first time through, to be honest. It turns out that… wait hold on, Diane is wearing heels… she just walked through a puddle in heels?

As I was saying. It turns out that Diane has stumbled upon some sort of underground aikido class. This feels surreal, but I’ll roll with it.

“It’s beautiful,” Diane remarks. The instructor tells her to come back on Tuesday, but Diane says, “It’s not me.” “It is,” the instructor replies. “My life is pretty full right now,” Diane protests. “I know you think that. But it’s not,” the instructor counters.

I am resuming my rewatch, and wouldn’t you know? KLINGONS. I tried so many times I had to switch over to watching on a different device. Not a huge problem, but not a great user experience, especially on a service I’m paying for…

Diane’s phone rings. It’s Jay. He and Marissa have come up with a different suspect in Adrian’s shooting and now they think it’s a neo-Nazi. Even though last week Jay and Marissa believed the shooter was not targeting Adrian, this week they think he’s coming for Diane next, so she needs to be careful.

Diane goes back to watch more aikido. Aaaand credits.

We pick up with a two people on a date. This is A Choice. If there were ever a case that did not need a flashback illustration, it was this one. Unless these are memory pops and I didn’t recognize them as such—hell, even or especially if they are memory pops—this story does not need visuals.

The dude on the date is named RON, a giant subtitle informs us. Is it me or are some of TGF’s structural/storytelling risks verging on dumbing things down for the audience? I’m writing this after 2x12 and that may be on my mind because of 2x12…

Now the couple is at Ron’s apartment, making out. He reaches for a condom and she asks what he’s doing. “Can we just not do that… yet…?” she says.

The woman on the date is named EMILY.

RON and EMILY are in depositions, with Alma Hoff on one side and Liz and Maia on the other.

More flashbacks. RON makes a skeevy comment about EMILY’s age.

“She was laughing. There was no discomfort,” Ron says in the deposition. Yeah. Because Ron gets to decide how comfortable Emily was.

Now there’s a flashback of Emily and Ron kissing. I really don’t get what these flashbacks are supposed to tell me. I don’t want an objective retelling of this encounter because the issue isn’t what did/didn’t happen; it’s how Emily felt. An objective, visual retelling weakens her case unnecessarily. This episode makes it far too easy, I think, to wonder what the issue even is. I’m rereading the Babe.net article about Aziz Ansari, which this episode is obviously about, and there are some pretty striking omissions from the TGF version. In the account reported to Babe, Aziz is much more persistent than “Oh, are you really going to leave now?” and doesn’t give “Grace” clear opportunities to leave. He repeatedly moves her hand towards his penis (not just once while they’re making out) even after she pulls away. He follows her around the apartment and keeps making advances. When she says they can have sex “next time” he pours her another glass of wine and calls it their second date. She flat out says to him that she “doesn’t want to feel forced.” And he tries it again. And again. There’s also the weird fingers-in-throat-porn move.

What I’m saying is that the original situation is gray enough. It doesn’t need to be diluted even more. People already have a hard time buying Grace’s story as sexual misconduct rather than a bad date. Why remove all of the most troubling parts? The parts that best illustrate that this is about rape culture, not just rape? I’m reminded of Jill Filipovic’s opinion piece in The Guardian, which argues that Babe.net’s reporting was an issue with the Ansari story, because “instead of telling this particular story with the care it called for, it was jammed into a pre-existing movement grounded in the language of assault and illegality.” She continues: “As a result, we’re arguing about whether Aziz Ansari is a sexual assailant, and missing the more relevant conversation about sex, male entitlement and misogyny in the bedroom.” Sadly, The Good Fight misses out on this more relevant conversation, too.

(Ron thinks Emily is going to the bathroom to put in a diaphragm. Feels a bit outdated to me, but maybe not?)

The issue that’s brought all of these people to RBL is the blog “Assholes to Avoid” which appears to be the Shitty Media Men list but in blog form. I understand combining these two stories so there can be a legal case, but it feels like the show is conflating actual whisper networks (the Shitty Media Men list was a Google doc, not a blog) with an unknown news outlet sensationalizing a story for clicks. Both are controversial, but only one was meant for public consumption.

According to the Assholes to Avoid home page, you are not supposed to send the site to any men.

I have no issues with Emily’s explanation for putting her story on Assholes to Avoid: she wants to warn other women so they don’t have the same experience.

But Ron was fired (meaning he was penalized more than Ansari, whose face, gallingly, was still on my goddamn Netflix home page the day after the article ran) so now he’s suing the blog! He wants an apology and for Emily to make it clear it’s not true. Um, dude, I don’t think a LAWSUIT is the way to get her to do that. He has now tracked her down (because I assume she made the posting anonymously), forced her to relive a traumatic experience, and put a resource that has potentially helped many, many women avoid dangerous situations in jeopardy. And HE wants an apology from HER? He would’ve had a better chance if he’d just asked her to clarify that non-consensual oral whatever did not mean rape.

“How many male lawyers are at this firm?” Alma asks as she’s leaving negotiations. Liz doesn’t know. Alma continues that she finds it odd that “at a firm with 60% men, a female partner and a female associate have graced us with their presence.” You know what I find odd? That a firm with Diane Lockhart’s name on the letterhead—and, I would guess, Liz Reddick’s name—would take on this case. Does RBL have an identity? Or do they just take whatever cases seem like money and then not question them? (I’m still a little peeved about the fact that “being a defense attorney” on this show seems to mean the inability to ever make choices based on anything other than money.)

“I guess we can turn this into a gender thing,” Liz says. Oh please. Like it was actually unintentional that there were two women assigned to the case. As sure as I know that this show believes defense attorneys are amoral-because-pragmatism, I know that this show believes that lawyers always, always, always think about the optics.

“We can’t win this one. We need to let it go,” Liz tells Adrian, who is still in the hospital. Thank you. Adrian, condescending as ever, asks if this is about gender politics. SO FUCKING WHAT IF IT IS? SO WHAT IF IT IS ABOUT WOMEN NOT WANTING TO BE THE ONES ARGUING AGAINST SOMETHING THAT COULD, I DUNNO, GIVE A YOUNG LAW STUDENT A HEADS UP ABOUT HER STARFUCKING PROFESSOR? Adrian asks this like “gender politics” are silly, some kindergarten boys vs girls battle. Feminism is not silly.

“There is no defamation,” Diane says. Adrian says okay. He wants to be helpful, so he offers to reach out to Bishop and Sweeney or to help with the merger. Diane and Liz are like, “we got it” and that makes Adrian feel useless. “Waltzer went after our clients, so we went after his,” they explain. “What are you two, the Mafia?” Adrian asks disapprovingly, even though he would’ve done the same damn thing if it had been his call. “I didn’t approve of that,” he continues. I will excuse this only because I can understand someone who was just shot and nearly killed feeling like he isn’t needed and being frightened by that notion.

Marissa and Jay then present suspects for the shooter. They include Felix Staples even though they literally just said he had an airtight alibi. I know it’s too much to ask for consistency on timelines or Lucca’s pregnancy, but can we at least get consistency within an episode?

Adrian thinks it’s the neo-Nazi.

Liz casually mentions that the police had their client list and Adrian—TOTALLY understandably this time—freaks.

As soon as his visitors leave, Adrian gets on the phone with the litigation financiers and tells them to make a move if they don’t want the case against Assholes to move to a different firm. Dude, I know you want some power over your life but can you please find a way of asserting power that is productive and does not involve assisting rapists? (No, Ron isn’t a rapist. But if this goes public? Women would be afraid to share their stories, lest they be deanonymized and brought into a lawsuit. And those women might have stories about rapists.)

I find debate over the methods and the specific interpretations of the events interesting. I can see how there is room for debate there. Could Ron have misinterpreted Emily’s actions? Maybe. Could he have understood them but not understood that no means no, because so often in the media “no” means “just try again and then you’ll get the girl”? Sure. Are there reasons a public site like Assholes might cause more trouble than it prevents? Debatable. But Adrian is not debating anything, which is why I’m being tough on him. This isn’t a conversation. He is taking actions that have consequences when he could be recovering or doing something productive.

(I feel like I need to bring out the old “understandable =/= justified” line here because I am not criticizing the writing of Adrian. I believe that he’d do this shit. I just don’t think it’s okay.)

Jay and Marissa go to the police with their leads, and the police are being useless.

Back at the firm, Diane’s accountant Anthony Rapp is waiting for her. And also Diane rehires Jay “with a 10% raise.” “Liz and I approve. It’s done,” Diane says. Awww, Diane got her female-led firm. Kinda.

(My roommate and I got to 5x17 in our rewatch yesterday and she’s excited about the possibility of a Diane/Alicia firm. I’m not spoiling her, but I have so many thoughts about that partnership.)

(I think where I was going with that is that the Diane/Liz partnership makes way more sense to me than Diane/Alicia ever did, at least after I really thought about it.)

Marissa takes this as an opportunity to ask for a raise. Diane ignores her. Marissa’s stepping right into Kalinda’s boots, isn’t she?

Oh hey Lucca!!! Lucca’s on the phone with Colin. They’re on opposite sides of something, again. “OW!” she says loudly in the middle of the conversation. Whether it’s fake pain or real pain, she’s using it strategically. Maia rushes over and helps her. (And by helps her, I mean she helps her stand up and she helps her trick Colin. Again, Maia’s only strength seems to be tricking people via phone.)

As Maia and Lucca talk about how many weeks Lucca has left (four!) (but we all know it’s going to be two so she can go into labor in the finale, but also timeline lol), Colin RUNS down the stairs and into Lucca’s office. She’s shocked to see him. He explains that he was in the elevator. “You’re just fucking with me, aren’t you!?” he exclaims. Maia excuses herself from the argument, taking Lucca’s shoes with her. She doubles back once she realizes she still has the shoes, then leaves again. I wonder if that was scripted or if Rose just forgot to put down the prop.

The litigation financiers tell Diane, Liz, and Julius to keep the depositions going. The financiers are willing to put $2.1 mil behind this case because of a class action in the works.

When Diane says the name of the site, Jer winces because he doesn’t like swearing. “Well, neither do I, but that’s its name,” Diane says. Please, Diane. You fucking love to swear.

“This is Adrian. I know him. He is bedridden, and he’s trying to assert himself,” Liz says, correctly. Julius is tempted by the money. Diane is on the fence.

Lucca’s four weeks from giving birth and she and Colin are just now having a discussion—during the work day, of course—about how they’re going to raise the baby.

You know what I don’t understand about this Colin-wants-Lucca-to-move-to-D.C. plot? Isn’t it typical for congresspeople to keep their primary residence at home, where their constituents are? Even if just for optics?

Also ffs, Colin, Lucca is not uprooting her life because of your career. And unless we are doing season three of TGF in D.C., I’m gonna need Lucca to stay in Chicago.

“This law firm takes you for granted, and you know it,” Colin tells Lucca. Last season I wouldn’t have agreed with that, but this season, yeah, I see it.

“In D.C., you will be the significant other of a Congressman,” Colin says. I mean she would also be that in Chicago, and she already resides in his district.

“Am I broke again?” Diane worries when she meets with Accountant Anthony Rapp. I think his name on the show is Glenn. That is easier to type. “A year and a half ago you were,” he replies. “Oh, I know. I remember that meeting,” Diane responds. Hee. Apparently Diane is now “whole.” She made her money back—all of it!!!—and can now retire and buy her house in France and all of that. Glenn attributes this to Diane not losing as much as they thought (um, how), smart investments, and Diane saving money. And also Trump. I do not buy it for a second. You do not go from losing everything to being where you were after 40 years of work in one and a half years. That is silly.

Can I take another moment to mourn the Diane bankruptcy arc that never was? The writers could’ve and should’ve done so much more with that last season, and now it’s gone.

Kurt’s accountant (Diane is surprised such a person exists) has contacted Diane’s accountant, and the accountants have decided that it’s time for Diane and Kurt to make a decision about divorcing or not divorcing because finances. So… “I won’t be that woman” just means “this particular argument is over let’s go back to marriage limbo like I’m Alicia Florrick”? Coolcoolcool.

“Isn’t that what you want?” the accountant asks Diane when she seems surprised to hear the word divorce. What DOES Diane want? I don’t think Diane knows. (“I don’t know,” is Diane’s next line, as a matter of fact.)

A dude puts a swastika on Marissa’s latte, at her request, idk, it’s weird and kind of amusing. It’s also an effective ploy.

Diane phones Kurt and gets his voicemail. “I wouldn’t mind getting a drink tonight,” she says casually. She’s also unwrapping an aikido robe (is that the right terminology).

On her computer, there’s a story about Trump signing an order allowing “the planting of firecrackers in the rectums of grizzly bears.” This is not a hallucination—and that’s the best (and most affecting) part. The absurd stories could easily be true. Speaking of, did anyone else see @Poniewozik’s tweet? This week there was a very similar story… but in reality.

OMG CAN I RANT FOR A MINUTE ABOUT A DIFFERENT CRITIC ON TWITTER WHO KEEPS INSISTING THAT TGF HANDLES SOCIAL ISSUES WELL WHILE TGW NEVER DID? The Debate was one episode. Yes, TGF is doing a fantastic job capturing the absurdity of the Trump era. But this was TGW’s wheelhouse too. I think I will rant about this more in my 2x12 comments. It bothers me that he keeps saying (he’s tweeted it like three times now) TGW failed at this when being timely and topical was always one of the things critics acknowledged as one of the show’s strengths.

The neo-Nazi didn’t shoot Adrian either! Now Jay and Marissa think it’s time to work with the police. Marissa volunteers to look through case files, but Diane pulls her onto the Assholes to Avoid case. “I thought we were dropping that,” Marissa responds. “We got an injection of cash,” Liz explains. “Seriously? Don’t we hate this?” Marissa questions. (Good question. And nice use of “we” even though you’re a newly minted investigator talking to two name partners.)

“I wouldn’t say hate. We’re obligated,” Diane says. Ohhh yes this is a new pet peeve. Y’all are not obligated. You were not assigned this case. You chose to take it for the money.

Liz asks Marissa to look into Emily’s past dates. “So we’re blaming the victim?” Marissa rephrases.

“Why do you think she’s the victim? What about him?” Jay chimes in, unhelpfully. “Oh my God, seriously?” Marissa responds. I feel that, even as weird as this specific case they’re debating seems to be. I’m just pretending it’s the Aziz story because it’s so obviously meant to be.

Anyway this devolves quickly into Marissa and Jay fighting about consent. I believe it from Marissa—tbh I’d be shocked if she behaved any other way—but Jay is more of a stretch. I totally believe him taking the guy’s side but I don’t really see him picking a fight with Marissa in front of the partners.

“Marissa. Can you do this, or should I give it to Jay?” Diane interrupts sternly. “No, I can do it. I just can’t turn my opinions off as I do,” Marissa replies.

“What do you think about this?” Liz asks Diane after Marissa and Jay leave. “I think there’s gonna be a lot of strong opinions there,” Diane responds. I don’t get why this firm still has this case. Is $2.1 million really enough to get Diane and Liz to go against their principles (or at least what I thought were Diane’s principles), put RBL on record as the law firm that went after Assholes to Avoid, AND cause internal chaos?

It’s not like RBL isn’t doing well. DIANE JUST MADE BACK ALL HER MONEY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. And the sketchy settlement a few weeks back—you know, the one the firm just had to take even though it kept corrupt cops on the force—gave them millions. If RBL is going to be LG, can they at least own it?

“We represent murderers and embezzlers but it’s always this stuff,” Liz says. Fair point.

“It was a bad date, that’s all,” Maia says to Marissa over coffee on the 22nd floor. Oh, Maia. I wish I could say I was surprised that Maia feels this way, but Maia holding this opinion is… consistent with pretty much everything about Maia. If Maia started quoting feminist writers, honestly, I’d be shocked. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Maia doesn’t seem like the type to question anything, especially not power structures or systems of any kind.

Anyway, Maia and Marissa’s conversation devolves into an argument among several lawyers, including some dude who calls warning other women against dating an asshole “revenge porn.” I know this is just an escalating nonsense argument but DUDE. DUUUUUUUDE. Revenge porn is posting private nude photos of someone you were once intimate with for the world to see specifically to hurt them. This? Is not that.

“It looks like she was trying to punish him because she was disappointed in herself,” Maia chimes in. Save it for the depositions, Maia. How the fuck did you get that?

Wasn’t there a Maia revenge porn plot last year? I can’t decide if I think it would make her more or less sympathetic to Emily. On the one hand, she’s been in a similar spot to Ron and could see him as a victim. On the other hand, what Maia did—literally just exist and date someone who wasn’t her asshole ex—is nothing like what Ron did (something beyond just existing), and what asshole ex did (revenge porn) is not really like what Emily did (an anonymous comment shared with a network meant for other women), so I could see her having a hard time empathizing with Ron, too. Oh, Maia.

“No, she’s disappointed in the whole fucked up dating scene where guys think they can get away with anything,” Marissa counters. And that’s the closest we come to discussing rape culture (again, that’s the thing this ep needs to be discussing). “He’s not getting away with anything. He can’t get a job,” the dude who was talking about revenge porn says. YEAH. THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT. Women are sick of guys getting away with anything so they are coming together to say that no, men cannot get away with anything. That no, it is not acceptable to ignore verbal and non-verbal cues and signs of discomfort on a date. That no, you should not continue to pursue someone after she’s told you “no.” And so on.

Also: part of the point is that these lines shouldn’t be so blurred. Emily shouldn’t be afraid of losing her job if she rejects Ron’s advances. The way society thinks about “bad dates” is a huge part of the problem. A guy being too pushy is not a one-off “bad date.” That guy is probably being pushy because he’s been taught—by society, by the media—that guys are supposed to be pushy. THAT is a large part of what needs to change.

This is a bit tangential, but how many women, over the years, have lost out on jobs because men told each other the women in question were “bitches” or “crazy” or “cold” (in addition, of course, to flat-out misogyny and discrimination against mothers and all the various other reasons men with hiring power might not hire women)? Probably a lot, since it doesn’t take much for a woman to get slapped with one of those labels. I dunno if this is relevant here, but if we’re going to talk about men losing their jobs because women shared their experiences, it feels like we should also talk about how accepted it’s been for women to lose out on jobs because of men sharing their experiences. This is what I mean about structures being the core issue here. I don’t know what that means for this lawsuit, but I do know I am not a fan of anything that upholds sexist structures. And if Assholes to Avoid wins this lawsuit, that’s exactly what’ll happen. I mean, we know there’s a class action in the works. Taking on this case and fighting for Ron, against the website (not Emily!)? That’s not just about what Ron did or didn’t do. That’s about fighting to keep a system in place.

Liz goes to talk to Ian at the police station. She wants to know why the police think Adrian’s shooter was black when Adrian identified him as white.

Is dumpster a proper noun? I have come across three separate works (two books and the captions on this show) in the last two weeks that have capitalized it. Apparently Dumpster is a brand name and thus a proper noun.

Now Adrian’s doubting his recollection. Maybe the shooter was black.

Hey, Adrian and Jay are friendly again!!!! Yay!!!

Liz brings Adrian dinner (possibly not actually dinner but rather a cupcake? Or a parfait with whipped cream on it?) and they both lick frosting or whipped cream or whatever off their fingers it’s cute unfortunately this scene then turns into a debate about #MeToo and Adrian is very very wrong.

“How’s the Assholes case coming?” Adrian asks. “You really boxed us in on that one, didn’t you?” Liz responds. Didn’t you decide to take the money? But point taken. “Not intentionally,” Adrian says. What part of calling the litigation financiers so the case doesn’t get dropped was unintentional?

The litigation dudes are named TOM AND JERRY? Why didn’t I remember this?

“Maybe #MeToo has gone too far, Liz,” Adrian suggests. Nah.

“I think good causes start out being good and end up becoming mobs,” Adrian explains. He does not, however, explain in what way #MeToo has become a mob. “Like Black Lives Matter?” Liz counters. “No. I don’t understand,” Adrian replies.

“Women join together, and all of a sudden, men all over the world are worried about mobs or witch hunts, but you don’t have the same worry about Black Lives Matter hurting white people’s reputations,” Liz explains. Pretty solid point. (Would also like to add that I saw a lot of people complaining that #MeToo would become a witch hunt after the Babe article… but I saw much less, um, you know, witch hunting.)

“Liz. It was a bad date. Anybody could have a bad date,” Adrian deflects.

“Yeah. But we’re not just stopping at the date. Now we’re trying to destroy the website,” Liz points out. (Yep.)

“A website that destroys reputations,” Adrian counters. “Of men,” Liz adds.

“Don’t make me out to be some kind of cartoon male chauvinist,” Adrian accuses. Liz is doing nothing of the sort, Adrian. She is pointing out that you’re behaving like all the other well-meaning men who perpetuate a system that sees a man’s reputation as more important than a woman’s thoughts and feelings.

And then the argument cuts out. This episode’s point seems to be that this is a contentious topic that people love to debate and can’t agree on, but does it have anything more to say? (I know I obviously have strong views about this, but I’m not really sure why the writers chose to do an episode on this and ended up basically just saying that people disagree. How… important.)

Marissa’s interviewing other people who dated Emily, and another guy has a similar story (he also seems like he’s suggesting that if he buys a girl dinner she should fuck him). Marissa dismisses it as “bullshit gossip” when she relays the info to Maia. “She just seems normal,” Marissa says.

Jay has found another potential suspect!

Diane is back in the aikido class! I am intrigued but have very little to say!

Diane showers and then heads to a bar to meet Kurt. I like that her hair is wet during this scene—it conveys how comfortable she is around Kurt.

Kurt says “sorry about your partner” and Diane doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He means Adrian, and since Adrian is fine, Diane is fine. Funny how Diane’s been paranoid all season when she wasn’t being targeted and now her firm’s being targeted and she’s fine.

“So. Um. You want a divorce,” Diane begins the hard part of the conversation. “What?” Kurt replies. Diane repeats the information from the accountants.

“What do you want?” Kurt asks Diane. “Kurt. We see each other, what, thirty days out of the year?” Diane replies. “We’re both working,” Kurt says. “I know, but that doesn’t make for a marriage, so if you want a divorce, I’m fine,” Diane says. I don’t know how to read this. The first time through I was annoyed that Diane’s position is that it’s up to Kurt when Kurt is the one who cheated. But now I’m wondering if this line is actually Diane stating what she wants from their relationship: a marriage where they actually see each other regularly and support each other. I can see how the physical distance between them could lead Kurt to cheat (though I don’t think it’s a valid excuse), too.

Kurt asks if this is about Tully. I guess he knows about Tully now. Good. Diane says it’s not about Tully, “it’s about what you want.” But what does Diane want? Even if Diane is subtlety requesting that Kurt move to Chicago so they can live together full-time, she’s not saying whether or not she forgives Kurt (I guess the forgiveness is implicit?) or talking about the challenges they’ve faced. I do not understand why this is about what Kurt wants. Would Diane just go along with whatever? If Kurt came back and said, “I want to live in the middle of nowhere and fuck pretty young blondes while you live here and remain my wife” would Diane go along? Or does she think that giving Kurt space and choices is the best approach, knowing that if he makes a decision she doesn’t like, she’ll leave?

Kurt, wisely, replies: “Diane… I’ve been trying the past year to make things up to you, to… I’ve been a prisoner on probation. I’m tired.” “Kurt, that’s the most you’ve talked about it in two years,” Diane replies. Awwww, talking! “I’m not a big talker,” he replies. “Uh, I know. But I need you to be. I need you to tell me what it is you want. And if it is a divorce, then I understand, and if it’s not…” she says. “I’ve been telling you…” he starts to say, but Diane interrupts. “No, you’ve been telling me that we should spend the weekend together, that I should come to your cabin.” “That we should move in together,” Kurt adds. “As roommates. I’m too old to be a roommate, so if we’re divorcing, well, let’s just do that. I’ve spent too much of the last year drifting, letting events happen to me, and I’m not gonna do that anymore,” Diane says. “Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow. […] Because you want a real answer,” Kurt says as he leaves the bar.

As always with D/K scenes, I am not sure I understand what they’re talking about (Kurt’s felt like a prisoner on probation? Why? What Kurt wants is the most important thing? Diane has been drifting and wants to stop and wants a decision, but that decision is Kurt’s? Kurt wants Diane to be his roommate? Huh?) but I love that they’re talking. This reminds me of those Alicia/Peter scenes not in content but in the way that the writers had a knack for screwing up the build-up and then absolutely nailing the conversation, even if it came years too late.

A Mr. Rose is at the firm to see Lucca. “You are pregnant,” he informs her. “No, no, just fat,” Lucca snarks. He is a headhunter out of D.C., and he wants to find Lucca a job. “Colin called you?” Lucca asks. She also says she’s not moving. Mr. Rose gives her job offers from five firms. Damn, Lucca. I know she’s getting most of these offers because of her political ties, but just think: three years ago she was a bar attorney. (The more Lucca’s situation parallels Alicia’s the more I want Lucca to talk to Alicia. And y’all know I already wanted that badly.)

Lucca is walking around the office barefoot. Alright. I have not ever seen any of the pregnant employees at my office walk around barefoot, and my office is super casual, but OK, writers.

Lucca calls Colin, angry. But Colin didn’t call Mr. Rose. His mom did—or at least that’s what Lucca and Colin suspect. Guys, this sounds just like every conversation Eli ever had about Jackie Florrick.

Now a woman named Gretchen, who is supposed to be Moira Donegan but also supposed to be the Babe writer who sent that tirade to a reporter about “second wave feminism,” is in depositions. That’s a weird hybrid. She say the goal of her site is to get men to realize their behavior will no longer go “unnoticed and unremarked.”

“So your blog is about scaring men?” Liz twists her words.

“Look, this is not a man-hating site, Diane,” Gretchen says suddenly. “I didn’t say a word,” Diane says. “You didn’t have to. You’re representing the people suing us,” Gretchen says. Fair.

“So we should all just march behind you, right? Because only you know what’s best for all women?” Diane replies, weirdly. Gretchen may be a little arrogant—and, as she makes clear with her next line, she actually does believe she knows more than “second wave feminist” Diane—but I have a hard time hearing this line from Diane. I don’t have a hard time believing it, necessarily, I just think it’s unnecessarily harsh and it feels like the main reason Diane is being so confrontational is that Gretchen just named her personally.

“I know more than you second-wave feminists. You just want to get along now. Don’t hurt the men, they might hurt us back. You have made the way for the next generation. For us. Thank you. Now you can take a rest,” Gretchen continues. Nah. I don’t think that’s how it works.

Gretchen also accuses Diane and her generation of enabling Weinstein and Charlie Rose (who guest starred on TGW, for anyone who forgot!)

“You know your problem? You’re too busy name-calling to realize how much we agree with you,” Diane replies. “And you’re too confident of your feminist credentials to realize we don’t need you,” Gretchen counters. Please make this scene stop. I don’t know what the point of it is, except to make Diane look good by making Gretchen insufferable and ageist???

(That’s not to say this isn’t true to life—the writer at Babe basically said the same thing—but rather to say that I think the writers could have used this screentime to do something more interesting.)

Another woman shares her experience of her date with Ron. She says he was pushy, overeager, tried a move on her he’d seen in porn, and tried to use force (nice of the writers to mention this in passing at the 37 minute mark when they could have made these points in the flashbacks we had to watch.)

Now Maia gets to question! She asks this woman why she didn’t go on Assholes to Avoid. “If I wrote about every date that ended like that, there wouldn’t be any guys left,” she explains. That’s depressing!

But this woman also doesn’t blame Emily for writing about her experience—they just made different choices. Exactly.

Maia shares Marissa’s research (the research Marissa told her to dismiss, the research that obviously was not going to be dismissed because… I’ve seen this show) with Liz and Diane, then questions Emily about it.

Marissa’s suddenly in the room for this, and she’s disgusted. “I thought we agreed it was bullshit gossip,” Marissa accuses. Maia says she’s just doing her job. She is, and Marissa should know that.

Maia also says she’s “trying to show that there’s another side to the issue.” Sigh.

“You talked the same way about you and Amy. To me. You said that Amy was paranoid about you and Carine, that she was crazy,” Marissa fumes. OH GOODIE. Important conversations happened offscreen and Maia ranted about her gf being paranoid when Maia actually cheated. You have a Maia problem, show. If Maia were just unlikable, I could deal with that—I find unlikable protagonists fascinating. But Maia is unlikable, unintelligent, and boring all at the same time! Apart from her friendships with Marissa and Lucca and the dynamic she has with Diane (or supposedly has, since it’s never on screen), I don’t have a reason to care about Maia. And all the reasons I just listed? I’m sure this will come as a surprise, but I care about the Marissa, Lucca, and Diane halves of those relationships infinitely more than the Maia half.

“So when I’m being deposed, maybe they can use that against me,” Maia responds. Careful, Maia. You might not know it, but we know you were caught on camera…

Liz and Jay go to Ian with their new suspect, and then they find out that Detective Whitehead (the corrupt cop!) is highly involved in the investigation, and BAM, they instantly realize he’s guilty and he’s arrested on the spot! Alright. (I was obviously very invested in figuring out who did it…)

Diane is at another aikido class!

Split screen phone calls remind me of Lizzie McGuire so they feel weird on TGF.

Also, there are a few shots that were clearly filmed to be split-screened (exactly half of the frame contains nothing of interest, like on texting scenes on Jane the Virgin before the texts pop up on screen) and it bothers me.

The entire 22nd floor begins to argue about sexual harassment.

Lucca finds Rod Habercore (from 2x01!) in her office. He offers her a job! And then Lucca sets off the singing dog that’s still in her desk drawer! Heh.

Lucca asks if Colin sent him. He didn’t—he just knows others are after her. Lucca smiles after he leaves. The only reason I want Lucca to stay at RBL right now is that the show is at RBL.

So wait, Ron is suing Emily and the website?

Diane, Liz, and Maia choose this moment—as Emily and Gretchen are deciding whether or not to settle—to question their litigation financiers and what they’re actually doing here. A little late.

Diane is practicing aikido moves in her office. I love that Diane found a new activity that makes her happy!

Gretchen shows up at her office door. “My guess is you’ve never thought of yourself as a traitor,” she opens. “Is that a question?” “What do you think?” “No, I have never thought of myself as a traitor,” Diane responds. “I’m closing Assholes to Avoid. So, thanks a lot,” Gretchen reveals. “You’re welcome,” Diane says. “You know why this happened? Because we were adding one of your litigation financiers to our list. Jerry. Asshole to Avoid. And you did his dirty work. You closed us down,” Gretchen explains. (Wow, who would ever have thought…)

“You know what your problem is? Women aren’t just one thing. And you don’t get to determine what we are. Next time, hire a lawyer and do your list right,” Diane replies. Am I supposed to be cheering Diane on? If this scene is meant to show that a woman who is fighting against sexual harassment can also be arrogant and ageist, while a woman who can champion feminism can also side with men who harass women because she wants to make a profit, then I like this scene. Diane is right: women aren’t just one thing. But why does Diane get to be right? (And I think this scene, if it wanted to frame Diane as being right-yet-wrong, could’ve done a much better job of making that point.) How is Assholes to Avoid, as a site, saying that women are just one thing? Is it? And Diane hints that there is a legal way to create a list of assholes to avoid—now that’s interesting! Why didn’t we hear more about that? What is a way to make a site like this that doesn’t wind up with a defamation suit? No judge ruled that she committed a crime (this was a civil case!) and the only reason she settled was that she would’ve gone broke if she opened herself up to further lawsuits. I’m genuinely curious: what actions does Diane think she could’ve taken here that would’ve prevented this outcome?

When I watched this scene, I definitely saw it as a triumphant moment for Diane. Rewatching it, it feels less triumphant and more fraught. I am trying to imagine the scene I would’ve wanted instead, and I wouldn’t want something clean (these issues are complex), I wouldn’t want something unearned and out of character (like Diane dismissing Gretchen and then donating money to a charity), and I wouldn’t want something too didactic. Now I’m wondering if the problem is that Gretchen is written as being so unreasonable and aggressive while Diane is a familiar face, so the scene comes across like Gretchen is a villain and Diane put her in her place.

Diane watches Tom and Jerry high five, so I do think we’re meant to question her actions.

Kurt appears! “I like seeing that side of you,” he says. “I like showing that side,” Diane replies. “So where are we, Kurt?” “I have my real answer,” Kurt says. And his answer is that “we haven’t tried being married. We’ve tried balancing career and marriage, and we can’t. I’m getting a job with the FBI in Chicago. It means not traveling. It means staying here. I’m asking that you sell your apartment and we look together for a larger place and we move in permanently together. We stop pretending that we can do this part time. And we live together until we die,” Kurt says. SOUNDS GOOD! I love it when characters have conversations. And this sounds like what Diane and Kurt both want.

I would like a little more closure on the Holly of it all, but I’m also fine without it since I don’t really believe that Kurt cheated and I’m totally fine acting like the only issue is that Kurt and Diane were too distant from each other to make each other happy.

Diane then asks Kurt if he voted for Trump. He didn’t (yay!). Diane give him a huge hug. “I wrote in Ted Cruz,” Kurt explains. Heh. That’s not much better, but I’ll take it.

Adrian’s out of the hospital!!! Everyone welcomes him back to the firm. Maia is front and center. Why? Marissa I would understand, but Maia? Front and center?

Adrian announces that the firm is a family. (No, it’s not, but I’ll say awwww anyway.)

#the good fight #tgfthoughts

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rilenerocks · 4 years ago

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Hi Michael. It’s that time of year again. That time you always hated when I was so, so very hot and sweaty and thus, always had the air conditioning turned down, the overhead fan turned to high and the small floor fan churning away all night long. Like living in a wind tunnel, you’d say. I’m sure you wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that nothing’s changed. I climb into our bed, each night, still on my side, yours untouched, with the dull roar of all my cooling machines as my companions. The thin sheet quivers in the breeze. You’d hate it. I’m physically comfortable and I lie there, thinking. Look at this headline from an article I read this evening.

Scientists Have ‘Woken Up’ Microbes Trapped Under The Seafloor For 100 Million Years

I mean, really? While I was trying to wrap my mind around the impossibility of those numbers and the subsequent life options they revealed, I suddenly hoped that meant we had a chance of reuniting somewhere in this mystifying universe. Certainly our collective and relatively young microbes have just as good a chance at survival as those ancient ones. I’m positive that your microbes are all over our house, our garden and in the few personal items of yours which I’ve stashed away. There might be a few hairs in your brush. I wouldn’t care which version of us we’d be, young or old. Ish.

So then I was thinking about all the tiny details of life I’d normally tell you every day when you were still here in the flesh. I mean, I like your constant cosmic presence, but I usually turn to that with just the most important stuff. I’ve been dying to share with you all these strange little nothing thoughts that cross my mind. Mostly, no one has ever been able to put up with the endless stream of seemingly random, disconnected thoughts that pour out of me. My sister, Cheryl is probably the next best listener after you. As my younger sibling, she was well trained in the absorption of my peculiar brain workings. I’m lucky she’s still here. But there’s just nothing like you for that bottomless reservoir of acceptance which you provided for me. Isn’t it ironic that we both know you’d be appalled by me releasing all this private information into the faceless universe? I mean, I know some people who read my blog but mostly, they’re strangers. Honestly, except for a few private spaces in myself that defy language, most of the rest is just irrelevant in the long run. What impact do our little quirky selves have? I know you’d disagree but I need to survive now, in my own way. So here are a few random thoughts that beset me as I lie in our bedroom, my favorite space, while my mind wanders in the wee hours after I’m done reading, wishing I could talk to you above the whir of the fan blades spinning around me.

You’re the only person who knew that while I was listening to WLS radio during my pubescent and teen years in Chicago, I wasn’t just a rock and roll/rhythm and blues kid. I also liked gospel, jazz and classical music. I still remember that when you were working at the Record Service, you kept track of my favorites and made sure I always those albums in my stash. And then, you updated them to CD’s so I didn’t have to wear out my vinyl. I’m still listening to lots of different genres every day. I don’t think I could’ve gotten through this bizarre pandemic time without it.

Here’s another weird thing I’ve noticed lately. I don’t watch much television during the day. I turn it on for a few minutes when I get up in the morning, mostly a defensive move to make sure nothing impossibly earth-shattering happened overnight. That’s how things are right now – every day seems to bring a story that’s incomprehensible. Today the story was that after the worst economic quarter ever reported since they started measuring these things, Trump suggested that perhaps we shouldn’t hold an election this fall. This guy will sling any idea that he thinks will get him a second term. As an historian, you just wouldn’t believe how this country has devolved since you’ve been gone. Anyway. When evening rolls around, I’m tired from being outside most of the day. After dinner, I watch the news and then scroll through the tv guide, looking for anything that might distract me, amuse me or otherwise edify me in some way. Lately, I’ve realized that virtually every day, The Godfather, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Gladiator is playing. Often they’re on at the same time, while other times, they’re staggered. It’s so peculiar. Usually I watch bits of all of them. By the end of the week I’ve seen them in their entirety, albeit out of order. I’ll also pause for Sense and Sensibility, The Princess Bride, Pride and Prejudice or any Errol Flynn movie. Makes me laugh. If you were here, you’d be doing the same thing with The American President, To Have and to Have Not, You’ve Got Mail or The Maltese Falcon. Also Goodfellas, A Bronx Tale, or Stand by Me. I’m working my way through a decent number of tv series that I missed when we were too busy to watch them. But recently, I’m needing revolution. I’ve got “Z” and Battle of Algiers on my DVR. I probably don’t need to get more cranked up than I am these days, but I guess that’s too bad. Watching them anyway. I wonder how any new shows will be made for the fall? Better not go down that rabbit hole. They’re probably not going to happen.

I want you to know that in your honor, I have loyally kept up with a smaller version of your food garden. Not just the perennial herbs that still marvelously appear and make me feel that it’s you who’s emerging through our rich dirt. That’s kind of absurd because your ashes are sitting in a beautiful box in the house waiting to some day being mingled with mine. Then we can be in the garden together. That aside, I’ve also been diligently planting and nurturing the annual herbs and vegetables, although at the moment, I’m losing the vegetable battle with the squirrels and rabbits. I’ve managed to get about two dozen cherry tomatoes off the vines while I try to ignore the smushed ones on the ground with one bite mark taken before abandonment. All the low-hanging large tomatoes have been filched along with the green peppers. I’m holding out hope for ones that are a little higher on the vines.

I’m really missing your cooking, though. Yesterday, I started ferreting around your recipe folders and dug out the one for pesto which, by the way, wasn’t labeled. I’m going to make it. I don’t have as much basil as you would plant so I don’t expect to be spooning the mixture into ice cube trays that we could pop out of the freezer for pastas and pizzas. But I’m going to get it done. You really spoiled me. The good news is that I knew it and let you know. So there’s that.

Meanwhile, I’m being really mindful about enjoying every bloom in my flower world. I wait impatiently to make sure that my perennials return and get so happy when they show up. Then I try not to get sad because soon they’ll be gone. That’s something I have to work on – if I’ve learned anything, I know I need to stay in the present. So I’m out there a lot, with the butterflies and the birds, chasing them around with my phone to get good photos that I hope will be comforting in what I expect will be a socially distanced winter.

Regarding the birds. So far, since spring, there’ve been 50 species in the yard. I don’t know if you’d recall that I started drawing them and filing them in a binder called The Yardbirds. I know you’d get the music reference. Anyway, my renderings are improving. If I practice, I’ll get better. Here are a couple of my recent ones.

I’m really happy that I’ve created a great bird habitat in the yard. I’m learning a lot about their behavior. I love watching the hummingbirds and the house wrens. Tiny, but mighty. I’ve grown fond of catbirds which are showing up regularly at the feeders. They’re perky and curious and pretty brave.

I’ve done something pretty dumb, as getting attached to wild animals doesn’t bode well for a happy emotional outcome. But I’m very fond of the cardinal pair that lives here year-round. After a rousing rescue of one of their fledglings last week, I felt so familial with them that I decided to name the strikingly beautiful female who comes for here daily for a dip in the birdbath. I’m calling her Pumpkin. Now, how absurd is that? I like her boyfriend too.

Another thing I did after a good deal of thought was sell your beloved bike. That was hard for me. I know it was just a thing but you loved it so much. I heard your voice in my head saying, “don’t be ridiculous – it’s just sitting there being wasted. Get yourself some extra cash.” So I did. But I took photos first. All these things I have to do. When I lie in bed in the night, I think about how much easier it is to share the loads of life. I miss that a lot although I’m glad I have what it takes to manage on my own. I think back to my mom after my dad died. By the time she was my age, she’d been dependent on me for almost 5 years. Makes me shudder.

How could I not tell you this most important thing? Our daughter, who went from working remotely to having to appear in person in a closed courtroom, found out the other day that a court clerk had tested positive for Covid19. She was asked to leave her office, get tested and do another 14 day quarantine. Then the judge in charge pf hearing her cases tested positive as well. Ugh. That meant that all the rest of our little family bubble had to be tested too. So far, she and our son got negative results. Our son-in-law, both grandsons and I await our results. I hope we’re all negative and can resume our little intimate enclave. The months ahead look daunting to me. The virus is traversing the country at will with no definitive treatments or vaccines. I dread flu season adding to the complexity of everything. Feels positively medieval.

In other news, I got an email from the park district informing us that the indoor pool was reopening immediately. The list of precautions and requirements is very long and detailed. I read it carefully while keenly aware of my longing to get back to swimming. In the end, I’ve decided against it. I just don’t think being in an indoor facility shared with high school students can be safe enough for someone like me, a member of what I call the “death group.” So I’ll just have to know that a block and a half from our house, people will be paddling away while I won’t. This adult decision-making of risk vs. reward is overrated.

In other news, I actually wish I was more like my mom in her widowhood. She used to talk a lot about how all she wished she could do was hold my dad’s hand one more time. Lucky her. I remain deeply interested in resuming our intimate life for another 30 years or so. I hope if this reaches you, you’ll be glad to know that some of our best things are strong enough to survive death.

So that’s all for tonight. By the way, I thought you should know that I just restlessly flipped on the television. There is Gladiator in the midst of the re-creation of the battle of Carthage. Round and round it goes, my dearest boy. Until next time.

A Message from the Wind Tunnel Hi Michael. It’s that time of year again. That time you always hated when I was so, so very hot and sweaty and thus, always had the air conditioning turned down, the overhead fan turned to high and the small floor fan churning away all night long.

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alexanderwrites · 8 years ago

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“I have a sense of humour, I laugh at Tony Danza”: A retrospective of King of the Hill’s early years, 20 years on

The first scene in the first episode of King of the Hill sees 4 guys standing around outside, drinking beer, and talking about last night’s Seinfeld. The scene ends with the line “I tell you what man, them dang old New York boys. Just a show about nothing”. Right from the opening moments, we’re hit with a great self-awareness and a very 1990′s kind of irony, because King of the Hill, like Seinfeld, was a show about nothing.

Maybe I should clarify. I don’t think Seinfeld really was a show about nothing (it’s a common misconception that the show ever sold itself as that. It never did - it was actually just the label George applied to his sitcom idea) but instead, a show that seemingly made something from nothing. Both KotH and Seinfeld were oddities of their time, neither of them housing notable gimmicks or concepts to base their episodes around. Instead, there was a looseness to both of their styles, and to the way in which they approached their subjects, a freedom to be their own thing which set them miles apart from their contemporaries.

When KotH came around in 1997, the other animated show to which it could most easily be compared to (on the surface, at least) was in actuality the furthest thing from it - unlike other animated family sitcoms, almost nobody has ever accused of KotH of ripping off The Simpsons. The shows were never rivals, due in part to KotH and The Simpsons being on the same network (KotH followed The Simpsons on Sunday evenings), but also because there weren’t many easy ways to compare them. Sure they were both animated shows about middle American families, but KotH had such a distinctive voice of its own that it’s possible to love both it and The Simpsons without making them battle it out for supremacy. In fact, their difference allows them to complement each other fairly nicely, and there are a lot of episodes of both shows that would pair well with each other.

While South Park, which also came out in 1997, had an attention grabbing coarseness which allured both College kids and younger kids looking for something to watch when their parents went to bed, and The Simpsons was, well, the biggest show on earth, KotH had to carve out a niche of its own, but a niche big and stable enough for it to survive. It was a little show that had an impossibly enormous task to take on: to follow The Simpsons. And not just The Simpsons, but 1997 The Simpsons. Height of it’s popularity, biggest show of all time, The Simpsons. And remarkably, whilst also being one of the slowest and most idiosyncratic shows on Fox, KotH managed to do so.

It was beneficial to the show that Creator Mike Judge had a solid history, creating the equally as unlikely cult hit Beavis and Butthead for MTV which, on looking back, shares a great deal in common with KotH. Both are shows that are distinctively recognisable and very much products of their time, and both function primarily as cult oddities that somehow crossed over into the general consciousness. Looking back on them today, it’s hard to believe they were as massive as they were; it’s both heartening that they did so well, but disheartening to think that they might struggle if they came along now. While KotH has a devoted fanbase, and, yes, a strong presence in memes (Mike Judge’s classic Office Space, which is as close as you can get to live action KotH, similarly has been immortalised in memes) and youtube edits, these are primarily perpetuated from built-in fans who grew up on the show. But, maybe in the age of Netflix, we can hope that new generations will keep discovering it (the catch-22 of streaming services is that while they might reignite interest in animations like KotH, they force us to remember that animations such as Drawn Together existed. Shudder). It’s not that common to hear much mention of KotH outside those who dearly love it, which has as much to do with its unassuming style as it has to do with the fact that it’s the shortest lived of the Big Animated shows. The show went out on top after a damn impressive and consistent 13 seasons, at which point, despite solid ratings, it was cancelled to make room for the short-lived and poorly received The Cleveland Show. If you could possibly need more ammunition to hate Fox repeat that to yourself: King of the Hill was cancelled to make room for The Cleveland Show.

Right until the end, KotH was well received and admired, and the consistency it maintained was not just of quality but of style. What was essential to its success was that instead of needing to shake up the style or the voice of the show to simply keep it fresh, what it focussed on was developing and refining that voice. And it helped that the voice was pretty powerful right from the start.

King of the Hill’s first season was short but strikingly strong. At 12 episodes long, it has a tightness and sense of direction that serves as a sort of mission statement for where the show would go in the future. It’s kind of incredible to see characters presented in the very first episodes of a show that feel fully formed, and that more or less, remain the same throughout their 13 years on our screens. Like Seinfeld, Peep Show or, and stay with me here, The Sopranos, what makes King of the Hill’s characters work so brilliantly is that they are fleshed out people from the start, with the writers revealing essential and complex aspects of them over the years, rather than randomly gluing traits on to them in an attempt to shake things up. They always act in character. Everything you find out about them - their fears, prejudices, their weaknesses - are there from the start, waiting to be uncovered. But what also links these four shows is the maddeningly realistic difficulty the characters have in trying to change. It’s that frustrating feeling that they should be learning something, but a fundamental stubborn-ness - and humanness - hinders their doing so. And so, Hank is endlessly desperate to keep things the way they are, and Peggy is desperate to be proven right (and she usually is, by the way). But underneath that stubborn-ness, there is a sweet, kind-hearted want for things to be better, and for people to be better. And that’s what KotH is nearly always about - people struggling with every day problems and trying to grow from that, whether they’re successful or not.

The second episode Square Peg, is an unusually good sophomore episode which follows Peggy trying to overcome her nervousness at having to teach a sex ed class. It’s a simple premise, but from it grows a story with character development - or at least an attempt at it - that feels natural to who Peggy fundamentally is. Instead of going off in absurd directions, the episode takes the time to explore the reasons that Peggy struggles to even say the names of sexual organs, and sympathetically follows her through her self-taught breakthroughs. It’s heartfelt, but funny - hearing Peggy enthusiastically shout “Vaaaa-ginaaaa!” is one of the biggest laughs of the season.

Even in episodes that prefer to focus on something absurd like Bobby practicing flirtation and kissing on a plastic doll’s head, there is a truthfulness to the characters that make the silliness feel realistic. Of course Bobby would do that because he’s silly, awkward and kind of weird. But how do we know that? Because the show shows rather than tells us that in stories that are always on point and within the realm of believability (except, maybe for Hank’s clothes being torn off by a tornado as he holds on for dear life to a telephone pole. But that’s so funny that it doesn’t matter). The second season episode, Meet The Manger Babies, is one of the finest examples of how an inherently funny premise (and execution - Brittany Murphy’s voice work throughout this show was phenomenal) can still work even when it secretly hides a genuinely moving backstory. Luanne is revealed to be the product of a severely broken home, and a throw-away line when Hank points out that she has a natural talent with puppets reveals that she’s used to using puppets from her visits from social workers. The episode hears her talking bleakly about the world, about how everything is going to hell, and the story tells us that she just wants some sort of stability and reliability in her life; even if it is Hank showing up as God in her performance. The heartache of Luanne doesn’t detract from how funny the episode is, but it really does enhance it. A lesser show would’ve thoroughly mocked Luanne for putting on a christian puppet show, and while KotH does poke fun at some of the stranger products of Christian America, it also understands Luanne and gives reasoning to her beliefs. She’s not stupid for putting on the show, she’s just looking for answers and comfort in a world that has treated her awfully.

While the complexity in these characters lives is evident, and while the show is frequently touching, it never forces on the viewer any easy or saccharine view of things, and never, even under the complex morality plays that occur, does the show stop being funny. Watching them back, these first seasons are consistently funny, with every episode providing a wealth of quotable lines. The second season episode, The Son That Got Away, in particular has an exceptionally high laugh quotient. Hank’s “Bobby, Al Yankovich blew his brains out in the late 80′s after people stopped buying his records” and Dale’s suspicious yet oblivious “How’d he know I wanted a beer?” in regards to Johnny Redcorn answering yes to Dale’s wife when she asks “You want a beer, sug’” are some of the hardest times i’ve laughed at this, or any show.

It’s in the greatness of the scripting (Hank angrily telling someone “You take that back!” after they tell him John Wayne’s real name was Marion is the funniest possible reaction to that fact), but also in the voice work which is outstanding all-round. To hear voice work this good on a show from 1997 is unusual, and it’s even more unusual to hear a seasoned character actor playing a series regular - Stephen Root steals almost every scene he’s in as Bill. Kathy Najimy and Pamela Aldon both absolutely kill it with their voice work, making every punchline of theirs sell perfectly, whilst also bringing nuance to their characters. And Mike Judge has Hank’s voice down from the moment he speaks, intonation and everything. It’s always a blast just to hear the characters talk, and these early seasons prove that KotH is a contender for best Cast for any animated show, past or preset.

There is a certain magic in these early seasons being hand-drawn. The character designs are distinctive and expressive (I personally adore the widening of Hank’s eyes when he’s in shock, and Bobby just looks so damn funny without even saying a word), and realistically detailed in a manner that fits the show superbly. With wider shots of the landscape and the town, it was often downright beautiful, with a warm mood and tone of its own that makes me miss hand-drawn cartoons very deeply. There is an attention to detail in it which mirrors the show’s excellent observation of both the positives and negatives of the small town in which they live. The satire is deceptively sharp, especially watching it 20 years on. A particularly good second season episode focusses on gender inequality in schools, and how under-funded the girl’s sports facilities are. It’s a sharp-toothed episode that exposes the ingrained sexism in the town, sexism that doesn’t leave itself at the door - Hank is one of the worst perpetrators of it in the episode. And we get one of the best and most prescient lines of dialogue about sexism i’ve heard in a show - when Bobby faces the fact that he will for the first time have to prove himself as a good Wrestler to stay on the team instead of automatically having a place now that a girl has joined and there are less spaces, he says “Yeah, and it's worse when they take away our favours, 'cause we're used to getting them.”. That line is applause worthy, and a good example of how good KotH was at tackling sexism. It gets extra credit for making a point to not make the girl, Kahn Jr, feel guilty for joining the team and instead pointing directly at the school and staff’s sexist policy and their refusal to cater in any manner for the girls of the school.

As well as sexism, racism is satirised when a Laotian family move onto the street, and characters, ‘likeable’ or not, performed painful but realistic and well-observed displays of racism, be it hateful or just ignorant. KotH didn’t shy away from these subjects and we should be glad that it didn’t - it was a satire, after all - one of nuance and experience that wasn’t afraid to pick out its characters flaws and expose them, always to strong and funny effect.

From episode to episode, it could bounce from functioning as a broader animation, to a social satire, to a heartfelt character study, and was often all these things at once. The episodes that i’ve rewatched lately from Seasons 1 & 2 are miraculously good - watching them again after so long feels like seeing an old friend who you realise you still have everything in common with, and not only that, but there are new things you didn’t realise you liked about them. The references to Seinfeld in the first episode might sound dated, but the only way in which KotH has dated is in the fact that there’s nothing like it on TV today. I didn’t just compare it to Seinfeld because they’re both 90′s comedies, instead I compared it because it’s the only comedy as methodical, precise and in its own unique mould that I can recall that managed such great success (and The Simpsons. But if I start talking about The Simpsons, I will not stop). I’m eternally grateful that KotH made it to 13 seasons (13 Seasons!!! That is A LOT of TV!!) and i’m excited to keep going with this rewatch, especially as there are dozens of episodes I didn’t see the first time around. It’s a warm but alert look at subtly flawed people - flawed in the every day sense - and a show that deserves to be remembered as one of the best comedies, animated or otherwise, ever made. 20 years on, its status as a classic only becomes more concrete.

#king of the hill #animation #article #tv #hank hill #writing #essay

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mandelsmusic · 7 years ago

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Playlist & Analysis

I have created a playlist consisting of ten songs for a journey to Mars. There is a link at the bottom to listen to this playlist but this is my in-depth analysis of each of the ten.

My first song on the playlist Space Oddity by David Bowie. This song not only fits the theme of our cosmic journey but also takes listeners on an individual journey of their own. Space Oddity an influential song which has been used in the media landscape of today and past decades, causing a timeless renown reputation. The production on this song features fascinating panning effects, which make the listening experience “out of this world”.

Following Space Oddity, I have chosen My Way by Frank Sinatra. This song is notably bold in its lyrics and speaks to me in a very meaningful way. In this song, Sinatra takes a retrospective look at his life, recognizing his regrets and losses, not everything he did was right, but through it all, he did it his way, and he was proud of that. This is a true song to the legacy Frank Sinatra left on the music industry because following his death no one could quite do it “his way”. Recently, my good friend’s mother passed away after fighting a courageous battle against cancer. The thing that stuck with me after her untimely death was that as she passed, her last wish was to hear My Way. For the length of time that I knew her, she had always had cancer, but lived such a bold and exciting life that you forgot she even had it. Through it all, I truly believe she lived this song to Sinatra’s intentions. In the face of great sickness, she lived her life her way, and that is something I will always remember.

Next in the queue is Tiny Dancer by Elton John, a classic anthem that I believe will never grow old. Growing up in Los Angeles, this song always spoke to me. I thought it was the vague mention of “LA Lady”, or the fact that my mom always played it in her car, I couldn’t figure out why I loved this song so much. Earlier this year, Elton John released a music video 45 years after the release of Tiny Dancer. The music video depicted individuals living very different LA lifestyles, but all singing along to Tiny Dancer as they crossed paths. The music video captured the beauty of both LA culture and the song itself, and most importantly it captured what the song meant to me. No matter who you are, where you are, or what you are doing, this song has the power to unify a set of complete strangers because everyone knows the lyrics. While it isn’t Rocket Man, I believe my fellow astronauts and I could benefit from blasting this one together.

Next up is If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out by Cat Stevens. When I was younger, my father used to drive me to my soccer games, and we listened to an eclectic set of tunes, ranging from Garth Brooks to Weird Al Yankovic. If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out stuck to me as a track I particularly enjoyed my Father’s unique playlist. But the significance and beauty of this song is the lyrics. I always found that my Father emphasized these lyrics in his parenting, allowing me to “sing out” and do whatever I put my mind to. Both he and my Mom have always been there to support and encourage me throughout every step of my life. I need this song as a reminder that I have the loving support of my parents wherever I travel.

Taking a break from the classics, my next song choice is from my favorite rock and roll artist, Jack White. Jack White is behind so many influential songs and bands and to choose just one song to represent his repertoire is a challenging task. I have chosen one of my favorites, You’ve Got Her In Your Pocket from The White Stripes early album, Elephant. Jack White has always fascinated me as an artist because of his distinct branding. For each band he is in, as well as his solo career, there is a different color scheme and a new persona presented which allows the listener to understand Jack in a different aspect each time. The White Stripes had a color scheme of red, white, and black and played bold inspirational ballads. Jack White’s current solo career has a color scheme of blue and black, representing the change in his style of music to somber rock songs centering around the challenges of love. It is very important for music to be both seen and heard. White’s attention to design and branding adds a vibrant concept to his artistry and shows his anthology of sound through brands he has crafted over the years. I love and respect Jack White as an artist greatly and cannot live without at least one of his songs.

Another musician who I draw inspiration from is John Bonham, the drummer for Led Zepplin; he was truly was the backbone of the band and created a unique sound from jazz but applied it to a rock aspect, thus changing the possibilities for rock as it had not been seen before. The band captured this interesting drum beat by using the Glyn Johns recording method which had not been seen before but after, was widely used by most bands because they loved the amazing quality and simplicity of the technique, consisting of 4 microphones. But the band was able to work so well because Bonham was able to get in sync with the guitar player; typically, the drummer gets in sync with the bass player to get the best rhythmic feel but Bonham got in sync with the guitar player and if you listen to Fool in the Rain, you can see the tightness between the guitar and drums as they change constantly through the phrases. Within Fool in the Rain, the drumbeat is absolutely insane! Bonham plays a steady polyrhythmic 4/4 beat, meaning that he is playing two beats simultaneously; the first beat is executed through the triplet high hats which are accented by opening and closing them and adding ghost notes on snare in between; yet Bonham adds a twist by doing a swung half-time shuffle with his bass and snare drum which is difficult on its own. Although the beat is challenging on its own, he adds more difficulty by play with the piano and guitar which are a 12/8 time signature which adds a syncopated triplet feel to the song that anyone can groove to. To me, Bonham is what made Zepplin great and in totality, it was his drumming within this song that truly allows an audience to groove to.

The next song chosen has a lot of sentimental value as a musician; Nights & Weekends by Cold War Kids was the first song that I ever recorded. It was the song that motivated me to expand my skills and learn about production. I began by listening to every individual instrument track and was amazed by the production quality, with the smooth transition from electronic type drums to an ambient acoustic sound that comes in strong for the chorus. I was truly inspired by the album as a whole because it was a different direction that Cold War Kids portrayed; originally being a band that produced songs focusing on the problems of and containing an instrumentation of a rock band, Cold War Kids tried a different approach, adding electronic samples on top of the live drums into the piano and guitar heavy tracks. I was motivated to make my rendition of this song because I loved the vibe of the entirety of the album but this song in specific stuck out because of the catchy chorus and interesting transition from electronic to acoustic drums. I also really love the organ and feel that it should be used as a staple for their sound. My initial recording was very poor in quality being that it was my first recording ever and I was using a single microphone for everything, yet I recently redid it to show how I have evolved as an artist and I find that there is still room for improvement, though it is decent.

Transitioning from this, I Sumatran Tiger by Portugal. the man which is also known as the endangered song. Interestingly enough, there were no digital copies of this song but instead 400 copies of the hard copy record were produced and eventually the record, made out of polycarbonate material, would stop playing and become extinct. The message clear, if we do not do anything, then the species will go extinct. Portugal. the man created this song with the intent of the song becoming extinct unless reproduced. But this exclusivity tactic is very fascinating and has been practiced by many artists such as Jay Z and Beyoncé, ultimately it doesn’t work because eventually it will go to other streaming services but this concept of extinction unless shared within the community is like no other. Not only is this a genius tactic to promote the preventing from extinction but it is also an amazing song. Sadly, it will be overlooked by their one hit wonder Feel it Still but the endangered song will forever hold a place in my heart being that it is a masterful medley of instrumentation, high pitched male vocals, and a message like no other.

Directly after this, I have chosen Alright by Talk. Talk is a band I was honored to become apart of during my time at the Clive Davis Institute of Recorded Music at NYU this past summer. I chose to put this song on my playlist as a reminder that you can accomplish great things if you work hard. As a band, we wanted to create a song that encapsulated all of our diverse musical talents. I am very proud of our band’s hard work on this track. My primary role was as a drummer, but we all worked hard on co-producing, branding, and managing to create a cohesive end product, that sounds pretty good. But taking leadership for this band, we produced a book that is like no other, which gives the consumer a visual representation to enjoy as they listen to the song.

To close out the playlist, I have selected Do You Realize?? by The Flaming Lips. I honestly love everything about this song form the beautiful instrumentation to the incredibly powerful and realistic lyrics. The Flaming Lips adds tasteful elements to transform the track to a galactic melody by using robot generated noise, crazy synth sounds, and random church bells. Wayne Coin, the lead singer of the Flaming Lips, inspires me as an artist through his authenticity and creativity. This is one song I cannot live without.

Check out the playlist on youtube!

Rock On,

Justin Mandel

Follow me on Instagram @mandelsmusic

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hipandcriticalblog · 7 years ago

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Jamm’s Top 7 Must See Netflix Series

Monday, August 28, 2017 7:50 PM by. Jae Covington (Jamm)

We are all familiar with the juggernaut streaming service NETFLIX and its mega successful and award winning series’ like House of Cards and Orange Is The New Black. While these shows are well deserving of all the glory that they have received, there are still a wealth of less recognized series that deserve some of the spotlight as well. So here is my list of seven essential shows for your viewing pleasure on NETFLIX.

1. Sense 8 Let's start off with the most well known show from the list, Sense 8. The series has been making waves recently due to its fans loud uproar of disapproval following the shows cancellation, right after the release of its second season. But if you take the time to experience this epic sci-fi drama/thriller, you'll no doubt join in on all of the rage.

Sense 8 introduces the idea that there is a more evolved species of human on the planet called sensates (get sense 8, sensate), with the ability to share memories, emotions, and all senses with other sensates. These amazing abilities combine to make a another one called "visiting". Visiting is kinda like making a projection of yourself directly into someone else's consciousness, something like a hologram. While the premise is enough to bring you into the story, the characters and their interactions with one another is definitely what keeps you engaged. The story revolves around, you guessed it, 8 characters in a cluster (you'll learn about the term from the show) from all over the world. Each character has their own unique background, talents, and personalities which vary greatly from the other characters. Like Capheus, a Kenyan bus driver living in the slums of Nairobi and Nomi, a transgender lesbian hacker from San Francisco.

The show dedicates itself to exposing the nuance of the lives that the characters live, and introducing that same nuance and culture to people who would never experience it. It is an extremely engaging show to say the least, full of likable characters, drama, and action. This short summary won't give it its due justice, so you should just experience it yourself.

2. 3% Now when I first started 3% I had no idea what I was watching and what to expect. But I ended up witnessing a thrilling and thought provoking series that I highly recommend. 3% takes place in a dystopian Brazil, where the mass majority of people live in extreme poverty and in a desolate landscape, where people fight and die over resources like food and water. Meanwhile, a small chunk of the population live in a complete paradise separated from the mainland called "The Offshore".

The main plot is people from the mainland trying to get to the The Offshore, but the only way to achieve this is through an extreme series of testing simply called "The Process". While the plot was beginning to open up, I thought I was going to get another Hunger Games clone but I was lead into something much more dramatic and thought provoking. 3% is like the Hunger Games however, only a certain amount of people can participate. But unlike Hunger Games however, instead of picking children and teenagers, all participants are 21. Also instead of an all out battle royale, the process includes mental challenges and teamwork in some cases in order to advance.

This show delivers drama, action, mystery, and even a revenge story pulled together into a single narrative creating a must see series.

3. The OA Straight up, this show is weird. Usually, I can predict plot points before they are revealed while watching movies or a new series. This however was not the case for The OA. This series left me full of questions and a deep need to find out what is going to happen after the first season. Fair warning: This show will confuse you, but nonetheless, you should watch it.

In a nutshell, the show tells the story of a blind girl who was kidnapped, but then years later returns to her hometown, with her vision once more. Unfortunately, if I go any more into detail about the story it would spoil too much...so strap in for this one because The OA will take you on a wild ride.

4. Ozark If you love gritty crime shows with rich character building and an intense plot, then welcome to your new favorite show, Ozark. This show grabbed me at the first episode and never loosened its grip on my attention and imagination. The series follows an intelligent Chicago financial advisor Marty Byrd, who is also a money launderer for a huge Mexican drug cartel. The basic premise of the show is based around Marty trying to launder 5 million dollars within a short time frame of a few weeks for the cartel, or the cartel will kill him and his family. The show takes a slow start in the first episode but it makes up for it drastically, with a major increase in tension towards the end of the episode.

In order to launder this mass amount of money Marty takes his family to Ozark, Missouri, a small country lake town in order to capitalize on the large tourist population during the summer. The show is very reminiscent of Breaking Bad. The difference is this show does right when Breaking Bad starts to fall off. Personally, I started to lose interest in Breaking Bad when Walter White connects to the South American drug lord. The interplay between the two characters didn't really add any more drama to the show and I thought the drug lord played too much of a role in the plot, but with Ozark it's the opposite. Every time you see the cartel after the first episode, it's nothing but intensity. Instead of being always seen the cartel thrives in the background but reappears just enough to stay relevant without overdoing it.

All in all, this show is simply amazing and I highly recommend it to drama show lovers.

5. Chewing Gum Sexual, Awkward, Hilarious, are the words that comes to mind when I think about Chewing Gum. This series takes raunchy comedy to an entirely new level. In its two seasons it has become a comedic masterpiece that is choke-full of truly laugh out loud moments. The story revolves around a young woman named Tracey, that’s trying desperately to lose her virginity despite the rules of her highly religious mother. Now one might think this plot to be simple and easy to overcome, but when you are as awkward and so out of touch as Tracey your idea of simple might change.

The wild and outrageous situations that she finds herself in in the pursuit of sex are to die for. I must admit though, that not all the jokes land well but those are few and far in-between, and the ones that do hit hard and are memorable and will keep you laughing for minutes on end. What makes this show stand out to me however is the fact that Tracey is black. We really don’t see black women in leading comedic roles, nor do we see them actively looking to engage in sex.

This BAFTA winning series is by far one of my favorites on the air right now. It's refreshing, funny, honest, and truly worth your time to watch.

6. Grace&Frankie To keep the comedy wagon rolling next up is this "buddy buddy" comedy that brings "old eyes" on current issues. This series will definitely will be one that will be discussed for years to come, due to how it handles topics like; sexuality, ageism, infidelity, and family issues. And it only helps that it's funny as well. The best way to describe this story is messy, as it follows two older married couples Grace and Robert and Frankie and Saul whom are all friends via Saul and Robert, who are also partners in their own law firm. Where things get messy is when Saul and Robert both come out as gay and in love with each other and have been over the majority of both of their marriages. So to help each other through the situation that they both found themselves in, Grace and Frankie both move in together to be apart from their ex-husbands. I needed some sanitizer writing this because it gets so messy, as this is just the basic premise of the show.

But through all of this drama and heartbreak the series still finds the space to fit in plenty of comedy in the mix. Mainly the comedic relief falls on Frankie and hippy like lifestyle as it clashes with Grace's upper class and bourgeois status and sensibility. As stated before, the show really shines by its ability to integrate current topics to older characters, which is very seldom seen in television. I really enjoyed watching both Grace and Frankie trying to re-enter the dating scene after being with one person for over 20 years. The show also does a good job of sharing screen time with all of its characters including the children of both marriages, all of whom are complete individuals and have their own storylines to follow.

In my opinion, Grace&Frankie is one of the best crafted shows that you will see on television. So if you haven't seen it log on to Netflix and delve right into it, you deserve it.

7. Black Mirror This show just might be my favorite thing on the entire Netflix platform. It might even be my favorite television show period. Yeah it’s that good. It’s definitely the most complex show on the list, and no doubt will be the hardest to describe...so let’s just get into it. First off, every episode is different so there is no continuity nor connectivity with each episode, just one recurring theme of how technology has, is, and might affect people and society as a whole. The lack of continuity was confusing at first, because the series gives no indication of it, so I was taken back at first, but the feeling faded as I got into the second episode and beyond.

The show really plays out like a collection of movies instead of television series, due to the quality of the production and how immersive every episode is. What I truly enjoy about this series is that every episode provokes thought and the feeling of "What if that were to really happen to me/us?". A great example of when I felt this sensation is in an episode where the bee population is so low that a company created mechanical bees to make up for the low natural bee population. The problem however is when someone hacks into the artificial bee's systems and start using them to kill people who are chosen over twitter via people attaching their name to a certain hashtag. The show gets deep and when you are watching it it becomes hard to turn away and remove yourself from your captivation to it.

I can never do this masterpiece any justice from this short description of it. You just have to immerse yourself into it to truly understand how great it is.

So that’s it with the list of my top seven must see shows. So take a day or two for yourself, and your favorite binge buddy, grab some snacks, and start checking off the shows on your new watch list.

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