#also really good sense of smell

[mutable-manifestation]

(Heads up: I don't know How To Police. If stuff is wrong, no it isn't.)

When Baxter called in an arrest on his off-hours, Jackson didn't think much of it.

When he said he was bring in "some loser in a clown costume" he assumed the guy had captured one of the Joker's minions.

When he finally rolled in sixteen minutes after the call-in, Jackson could barely believe his eyes as the Joker was shoved into the station like a common criminal by a plainclothes newbie.

"One Arkham escapee, ready for pickup," he says blandly, boredly.

"His...weapons - if you can call them that-" he rolls his eyes "-are still in my car. Didn't wanna give Chuckles here a chance to try slipping his cuffs. Again."

A vein stands out on the Joker's forehead as he grits his teeth, and Jackson leans back a bit before hesitantly calling pickup.

"I. Am. The Joker. The JOKER! You-!"

His tirade is interrupted by a positively gusty sigh, filled with unspoken boredom and exasperation.

"Laughy. Buddy. As far as I'm concerned you could be named 'completed warrant 65789529.' Save it for therapy."

Baxter pauses. Grimaces.

"Well, assuming your therapist isn't secretly a soul-sucking emotional parasite bent on using you deepest fears and insecurities to twist you into an ever darker state of mind for the sake of indulging her own twisted hunger."

Silence prevails, even the officers coming to take Joker off his hands pausing in the doorway at that.

"That was only the one therapist though, to be fair. And I'm pretty sure asylums have higher hiring requirements than high schools, so you should be fine.

Use that love of flowers to grow some actual flowers. Use that...fondness for vibrant colors to, like, make bouquets or something. Try being a florist. Like my not evil-therapist always says 'instead of berating yourself for your rage and aggression in the past, focus on what you can do for the future; transition your coping mechanisms so that your negative emotions can manifest themselves in more constructive ways.' That's why I took up knitting."

Evidently no one knew how to respond to that, as the silence continues until Baxter notices the officers in the doorway just then. He nods at his captive.

"A little help? I've got a family face-time scheduled in like 10 minutes."

The Joker - silent but visibly fuming - is carted away to holding, Baxter drops a bag of Jokers weapons, and laments when told he has to file them all himself.

Jackson watches as he writes "weird bad-smelling-mist-dispensing flower" on the Joker's gas boutonnière.

'Am I...high?' Jackson questions himself, half-hysterical as Dash continues on, labelling the lethal buzzer a 'prank-buzzer.'

At least the fake gun visibly is fake. The 'bomb?' - with a DAMN QUESTION MARK - on a small cylinder is less comforting.

Baxter finally leaves another 27 minutes later.

Testing the confiscated devices reveals normal Joker Gas in the flower and definitely lethal electricity levels from the buzzer.

Everyone thought the newbie was just a shit talker when he said the Gotham rogues aren't scary.

Jackson is loosing his mind.

Short DPXDC Prompts #599

Dash works at the GCPD. It’s been an interesting first few weeks. He can’t quite understand why everyone is so afraid of these rogues that the Bats and the Birds fight.

The other officers in the station just thought Dash’s comments on the matter was just the new guy talking shit. They ate their words when the newbie brought The fucking Joker into the station in handcuffs single-handedly.

[keeps-ache]

lost vocation: fish

[hauntingblue]

Will I ever get over garp's scottish accent....

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

OKAY IT’S SHOWING IN TAGS everything is fine. i have no idea what that drabble is btw i had no outline only vibes. but if you decide to check it out then i hope you enjoy it !!! :3

[loveforskekgra]

I really wish I was one of those people who knew how to make like perfume oils and stuff because I spend a lot of time thinking about what a collection of perfumes themed after each Skeksis and Urru would smell like

[citrineghost]

I think about this a lot...

I just want you all to know, even if you don't see any people in your area with pronoun pins or bright, queer clothing, or with clockable traits, there's a very good chance you're surrounded by queer people who are blending in with the cishets. You're not alone.

Ever since I've started passing, I've had this repeated thought... I'll be in a public place and I'll see someone who's almost definitely queer, and it makes my day, but then I wonder, do they see me? Do they know I'm here? Do they understand that I'm one of them?

To be passing is what a lot of trans people see as the end goal, but, if you're not trying to be stealth but simply not going out of your way to display that you're queer, it can come with a profound sense of sudden exclusion - like you're too passing to count anymore, or like you'll be unrecognizable to your queer siblings

So, for everyone's benefit, I just want to say, remember that there are those of us who don't stand out. Don't assume every person that you don't clock as trans is cis. Don't assume every person that you don't clock as gay is straight. We speak out against cisheteronormativity, but to protect ourselves and remain in the safe bubble of those we expect to be safe for ourselves, we are often times perpetuating it

[sharkneto]

favorite flavor of cheese curd go

classic fried cheddar curds with a good ranch to dip in

[yeyayeya]

Y’all one of my friends got a package that his boyfriend sent him who’s currently in the military and I didn’t know what it was until I saw him today and he had a long ass chain necklace that reached his abdomen (mind you that man is a stick) and I was just like “ngl that looks like a dog collar�� and it took him a moment and he replied with “oh god I’ve been claimed”

[random-chaos-and-stuff]

May I politely offer he is a vampire/part vampire or something and he just. Genuinely does not realize? He just thinks that everyone else is like that? When he talks to the other heroes and they look at him weird he just assumes it’s a Gotham thing? And it partially is a Gotham thing because that city has so many curses why not be part vampire there’s no sun there anyways but since everyone there is Just Like That he genuinely thinks it’s normal.

Even better if Alfred not only knows (because he absolutely would) and doesn’t care or acknowledge it, but was actually the source for it (why do you think he hasn’t aged at all in so long?) and just hangs out with Bruce and takes care of him because he got attached to him and well now who will make sure he gets what he needs for nutrition?

(Also vampire bats adopt orphaned bat pups so it even explains his sheer adoption addiction. He sees an orphaned child and the first thought is ‘anyone gonna take that and care for it?’ and he doesn’t wait for an answer.)

we don't make enough fun of Batman for not being a vampire. seriously this guy:

nightwalker, lurks in the shadows

goes flying through the city at night hunting down his quarry

romps around in a dramatic ass cape

lives in a gothic manor that is definitely haunted (by the narrative, the ghosts of the past, etcetera)

served by a single devoted familiar servant who seems to share some portion of his strange powers

has multiple fledglings proteges he recruits and trains to share his dark powers

the source of great, often contradictory lore (conflicting reports on his powers/weaknesses/backstory, varies by canon)

unaging (his publication history spans how many decades?)

clearly has some sort of arcane powers superhuman abilities, despite making a huge effort to pass as a Normal Human Guy

autistic bisexual

notice i didn't even mention the whole BAT themed everything. and we're expected to believe this character is NOT a vampire? i'm being baited.

[pygmi-says-hi]

STOP DOING THIS IN INJURY FICS!!

Bleeding:

Blood is warm. if blood is cold, you’re really fucking feverish or the person is dead. it’s only sticky after it coagulates.

It smells! like iron, obv, but very metallic. heavy blood loss has a really potent smell, someone will notice.

Unless in a state of shock or fight-flight mode, a character will know they’re bleeding. stop with the ‘i didn’t even feel it’ yeah you did. drowsiness, confusion, pale complexion, nausea, clumsiness, and memory loss are symptoms to include.

blood flow ebbs. sometimes it’s really gushin’, other times it’s a trickle. could be the same wound at different points.

it’s slow. use this to your advantage! more sad writer times hehehe.

Stab wounds:

I have been mildly impaled with rebar on an occasion, so let me explain from experience. being stabbed is bizarre af. your body is soft. you can squish it, feel it jiggle when you move. whatever just stabbed you? not jiggly. it feels stiff and numb after the pain fades. often, stab wounds lead to nerve damage. hands, arms, feet, neck, all have more motor nerve clusters than the torso. fingers may go numb or useless if a tendon is nicked.

also, bleeding takes FOREVER to stop, as mentioned above.

if the wound has an exit wound, like a bullet clean through or a spear through the whole limb, DONT REMOVE THE OBJECT. character will die. leave it, bandage around it. could be a good opportunity for some touchy touchy :)

whump writers - good opportunity for caretaker angst and fluff w/ trying to manhandle whumpee into a good position to access both sites

Concussion:

despite the amnesia and confusion, people ain’t that articulate. even if they’re mumbling about how much they love (person) - if that’s ur trope - or a secret, it’s gonna make no sense. garbled nonsense, no full sentences, just a coupla words here and there.

if the concussion is mild, they’re gonna feel fine. until….bam! out like a light. kinda funny to witness, but also a good time for some caretaking fluff.

Fever:

you die at 110F. no 'oh no his fever is 120F!! ahhh!“ no his fever is 0F because he’s fucking dead. you lose consciousness around 103, sometimes less if it’s a child. brain damage occurs at over 104.

ACTUAL SYMPTOMS:

sluggishness

seizures (severe)

inability to speak clearly

feeling chilly/shivering

nausea

pain

delirium

symptoms increase as fever rises. slow build that secret sickness! feverish people can be irritable, maybe a bit of sass followed by some hurt/comfort. never hurt anybody.

ALSO about fevers - they absolutely can cause hallucinations. Sometimes these alter memory and future memory processing. they're scary shit guys.

fevers are a big deal! bad shit can happen! milk that till its dry (chill out) and get some good hurt/comfort whumpee shit.

keep writing u sadistic nerds xox love you

ALSO I FORGOT LEMME ADD ON:

YOU DIE AT 85F

sorry I forgot. at that point for a sustained period of time you're too cold to survive.

pt 2

also please stop traumadumping in the notes/tags, that's not the point of this post. it's really upsetting to see on my feed, so i'm muting the notifs for this post. if you have a question about this post, dm me, but i don't want a constant influx of traumatic stories. xox

[randum-famdoms]

I find it pretty funny how at least half of my posts have tags as long or longer than the post itself

[hauntingblue]

I love this movie about.... zoro's past boyfriend being taken over by a curse

[swagging-back-to]

started my period in thw middle of my shift yesterday and boy oh boy do i love having giant dried globs of blood in my pubes and pain and stomach issues and acne :) mammals totally arent fucking stupid :))

[neverendingford]

.

[shidoukanae]

Chapter 75 and 76 have been so funny for male lead characters suddenly spouting red flag lines.

Paris's is expected because the narrative has always been honest about how he's got a screw loose but seeing the 2nd lead syndrome guy pining hopelessly after Lyla seemingly imply he was trying to make her unhappy with his presence is ???? huh????

like im aware my very loose translations are probably scuffed as fuck and there's room for further interpretation but man is this manga a ride lmao. It never feels like a chapter is wasted and that there's always something more to be learned about this world, its story, and its characters. And it means every chapter is never a letdown because there's always SOMETHING happening and it makes me !!! to see

[mrsbarnesblog]

the "it" couple

masterlist

requests are open

summary: you and Rafe being the hottest couple on the island

word count: 1.3k.

warnings: established relationship, mentions of sex, mentions of nude pictures, Rafe is reader's first everything, you're both lovesick

a/n: my obsession with soft and painfully in love Rafe is not curable at this point. but like could you imagine having him all to yourself?? ughhh the things i'd let him do to me😩

Everyone knew that there are couples that, at first glance, give you the impression that they just have really good sex. Like they are so hot and perfectly compliment each other, with a certain vibe oozing out of them, especially when they are together. 

You and Rafe were that couple. 

Before you started dating, no one ever considered that two polar opposites like you might even coexist. You were a kook, but still completely different from Rafe and his little gang. You were pretty, but more on the quiet side, never showing off or bothering anybody.

Rafe, on the other hand, was mean and sarcastic to everyone and everything. It was a good thing that you put him in his place the first time he talked to you, making it clear that you are not having his shit. And also making Rafe instantly interested and following you like a puppy.

You were annoyingly teasing and flirting with each other, and everyone tried not to get involved in whatever was going on. It was your first experience with a guy, because before that, nobody was really making their shots, or, at least, you never paid enough attention to notice it, choosing to focus on yourself. But with Rafe, it felt fun and so damn easy. 

Your first kiss set everything in its place because you finally gave in to your hidden emotions. It made sense why you were always arguing and pestering each other—you simply craved attention from one another and it was the easiest way to get it. 

Surprisingly, Rafe’s rough edges softened, especially around you, and he was so affectionate and craved you around him 24/7. Though, knowing that you’ve never been in relationships before, he never pushed you to do anything, just following your pace. 

But after your first time happened in the third month of dating, after the ice melted and your insecurities fully disappeared, Rafe almost got another version of his girlfriend. 

If he thought that you couldn’t be better, then he was wrong. 

He never understood his friends who said that they had to almost beg their girlfriends to have sex, mostly because Rafe had never been in actual relationships before. But it made even less sense for him because you, seemingly, had the same energy and high sex drive as him. 

The first few times may have been slightly awkward with you still learning and trying to understand your own body, but once you got confident, you became unstoppable. 

Whether it was early morning, the middle of the day, or way past your bedtime, you were ready to have sex right away, straddling Rafe's legs or luring him into a kiss while your hands slipped under his pants.  

It was crazy how much you both wanted each other. It was a perfect fucking match to have someone with exactly the same needs. You probably have been bent over every single flat surface in the house and not a single room was safe from the two of you. He wanted you all to himself and he could go hours just worshiping your body and fucking you into bliss. 

You were almost glued together, never coming to an event alone. Rafe was so obsessed with the way you looked, with your smell, and with the feeling of your skin on his, so he always had to touch you one way or another. His friends teased him that he was absolutely pussy whipped for you and he had never denied it. They also started calling you Mrs. Cameron because you acted like a married couple and neither of you were against that nickname.

To say more, the idea of that made Rafe so feral for you, so he didn’t let you get out of bed the following day. Not that you complained, though.

Rafe loved sneaking out with you. Whenever you two had to visit a gala with your families, he always snatched you from the main room to drag you to the bathroom or another hidden place to have a quickie or to burry his head under your dress because you were too hot to resist. Yeah, maybe other people noticed it, giving you their usual politely awkward smiles, but neither of you care. 

On his birthday, you gave him the best fucking gift, which was a stack of your naked polaroid pictures. You were really nervous to do that, thinking that Rafe might react differently, but he reminded you once again why he was your perfect match. After looking through the photos several times, he literally attacked you, throwing you back on the bed and giving you the best orgasms of your life. 

Since that day, one of the less explicit pictures of your ass has been placed in his wallet.

You were officially the “it” couple on the island, with everyone either admiring or being jealous of that spark, which never seemed to diminish. Everyone saw the way the Rafe Cameron gave you heart eyes, soft smiles and gentle kisses. The way he held you close to himself, protecting you, taking care of you, and treating you like a queen.

Some people told you that it was only the excitement of a new relationship, but after a few years of dating, with a promise ring on your finger, it was still there. You still craved each other's touch; you still craved being together whenever it was possible, always going on dates and trips, attending all of Kook’s events, but mostly spending lazy days in your shared house. Sex was even better than before—more passionate, fun, hot and full of unconditional love.

Despite the gossip on the island, Rafe didn't get “bored” of you. No, over time, he became addicted to you because you felt like home, and there was nothing better than being with you. 

He didn't need any other women. And he still couldn't grasp the idea of cheating. If he had you, then why on earth would he do that? Every time he came home, the best person in the world and the best sex of his life were in that exact location, so he never complained about anything.

You were his afrodisiac and whether you were in full glam, in a bikini on the beach or in his old t-shirt with messy hair, he couldn’t just keep his hands to himself and not kiss the air out of you. 

He liked how you stayed at home, doing whatever you wanted and treating yourself while he worked. You always greeted him with homemade food, but more importantly, you acted as if you had not seen him in months.

You were waiting on the porch or finishing up in the kitchen, but when you saw him, you ran and jumped into his arms and pulled him into a kiss. It always melted Rafe’s worries and bad mood away, as his shoulders sagged in relief from being in your arms again. 

You always ended up in your bedroom, with you on or under him, while your hands were tugging at each other’s closes. Rafe knew that it would eventually end up with him finally putting a baby in you—something that more and more flooded his mind—but for the foreseeable future, he first had to officially make you his Mrs. Cameron.

And the red box with the big ass diamond ring, which was currently sitting in the drawer, was just waiting for the perfect moment.