#also oh my god. conflict in their relationship would be WILD

[eww-y-tho]

Wanna preface this by saying I love s3, don't think this is an attack. I just have some complaints I need to get off my chest. I'm not trying to come across as salty or rude, just frustrated that just as I start feeling comfy, they cut. And most Polin shippers probably agree with me.

I watched Bridgerton back to back with the smallest breaks possible. I'm saying, running once I'm done w/ work, skipping lunch, and eating snacks.

And I just wanna say that we WERE robbed of screen time. While I do think that the screen time we got was good and satisfactory, seeing Saphne and Kanthony spending exorbitant amounts of time on screen made me very envious.

The shorter episodes were the real sin, and if they just added another 10 minutes of Polin to each episode we wouldn't be having these arguments.

I really don't care about the Mondriches anymore, sorry, why do I need to see this scene of her trying on dresses and jewellery, or the couple being separated? Why do I need to see Will stressing about the club? What did they contribute to the plot? Sorry for any Mondrich stans, but I think they should've been fully cut from the story, making them stick to being static side characters so we can keep the club.

While they are funny, why do I need to see the 70,000th scene of Prudence and Phillipa talking about babies?

I love Francesca, I really do, but why the hell did we not just shave off Violet's arc about her relationship with John and just focus on their romance? Why was Francesca named the Diamond when it ultimately does nothing to her character arc? We didn't even need to see their marriage this season. Like, sorry, but Francesca stans can wait until Benedict decides to get his girl.

Ya know what would've been wild? Penelope being named the Diamond. Like, tell me that wouldn't be fucking perfect. That would make Colin's pining even worse, which is great.

I don't mind Violet getting her garden plowed, god knows she deserves it, but the conflict didn't have to be jam-packed in the second half. Introduce him at the start and let that flow through the season.

And oh my god, the Benedict threesomes make me rage. I love bi Benedict as much as the next girlie, like, I'm bi as well, he's great, but you literally had to show one 20-second scene, not this constant cutting. Also, I AM UNCOMFORTABLE with how promiscuous that framing was.

I am the last person to slut shame since I am one in spirit, but this isn't a positive portrayal of male bisexuality. Straight up cut Tllly and make him genuinely fall in love but have to break up cuz angst. Kinda like a better Eliose and Theo.

Give me more lessons, they lasted a grand total of one episode with like... 5... scenes?? Give me EVEN MORE PINING, ditch the balloon scene, let there be another strong LW fight, and let them have a longer make-up sex scene. Idk, I think these flaws are fine, and I'm happy with what we got

(like, I wouldn't say the season is bad because of them. I still stand by my original rating.)

But it could've been better.

Also, if Benedict isn't going to be interrupted by Polin every two seconds as they can't keep their hand off each other in S4, I'm throwing hands.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

i think you're onto something with the romance novels world and plot points needing to mirror the kind of outlandishness of the love story. bc the main characters are already inherently acting absurd just by falling madly in love in a month or whatever and then if you add in the contrivances of romance tropes, it starts to feel like whiplash trying to pretend the characters live in any sort of grounded "normal" world. Like when the author adds in a family conflict subplot where the MC is like in absolute shambles because her mom said something slightly passive aggressive at lunch. that reads as more jarring to me than like conflict being something ridiculous that her mom doesn't want her being a marine biologist bc they come from a long line of fishmongers. Give me absurd drama to match the over the top dialogue and character emotions, I knew it would be unrealistic it's a romance novel! I guess this applies more to romcoms, but the same would apply I think to an analogous serious scenario. Or at least that's my take on it

okay so having just finished genuinely the most boring romance novel I have ever read in my LIFE I'm going to expand on this a little so thank you for sending an ask that gives me such a great platform to do that

I personally generally prefer a romance that just gets fucking silly with it, like really outlandish. A Lady for the Duke (Alexis Hall) is obviously the dream, being a whole swoony historical trans-affirming fantasy, but contemporary fake relationship stories can also be fun in their sheer ridiculousness, like Love, Hate, and Clickbait (Liz Bowery), which I actually liked, and Unfortunately Yours (Tessa Bailey), which I did not like but was very funny. and let's not forget queen Helen Hoang's Bride Test, which has a premise that dances perilously close to human trafficking but all works out in the end!!!

BUT HAVING SAID THAT. I don't think that something needs to be totally implausible to be a good romance. two of my very favorites romance novels anywhere ever are Helen Hoang's Heart Principle (no one should be surprised Hoang is on her twice I adore her) and Akwaeke Emezi's You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty. both of these books are very grounded in reality but with very uncommon situations to heighten emotions and add urgency; in Hoang's case it's a character's adult autism diagnosis + death of a parent and in Emezi's case it's a very sudden and #problematic attraction coming out of absolutely nowhere. the stakes are very real, mostly centering around being true to yourself v disappointing your family, but the circumstances are still wild enough to make you say "god DAMN" and keep turning pages. hell, I'll even be extremely generous and include Mistakes Were Made (Meryl Wilsner) which is kind of a flop but does have the intriguing premise of "what if you were fucking a milf but her kid was YOUR BEST FRIEND and it was a secret?"

those are like the two sweet spots TO ME, and this book I just read (which was Thank You for Sharing by Rachel Runya Katz, I feel so bad putting it on blast but I know people are going to ask) really solidified it for me because TYFS didn't fall into either of those categories. I'm going to say something absolutely insane, which is that multiple times while I was reading it I found myself wishing that the book was fanfic, because on its own it just... didn't bring a lot to the table? it falls into the grounded category but doesn't really bring any of those heightened stakes to the story, it's just 330 pages of people in their late twenties complaining about dating and their office jobs. if I wanted that I could just ask my group chat! there's nothing particularly particularly gripping about watching made up strangers do it!

but then I was like oh hang on... if this was two fictional characters who are usually fighting with swords or throwing cars at each other or something this would be so gripping. it's literally the coffee shop AU principle, right? like seeing people in a very mundane setting having an office job and going to a bar is very shrimpteresting when they're normally defusing space bombs. I was explaining this to my housemates and I couldn't think of a straight couple to apply it to (the book is m/f) so I said Naruto and Sasuke, which is crazy because I've never seen a single episode of Naruto, but like. idk Naruto being a museum curator who has to work with Sasuke, a marketing specialist who he had beef with a summer camp 14 years ago, sounds kind of compelling, right? definitely more than just two people I don't know.

there's a post on here that I think about a lot that talks about why advertising a story with tropes doesn't work for original fiction as well as it does for fan fic because knowing the tropes is more helpful when you already have a sense of investment in the characters and their personalities, and I think this is related to that! I think sometimes you NEED to have a wider sense of scope for the characters for them to be interesting in a very mundane setting!

ANYWAY. much to consider, etc.

[desmond69miles]

I am having such bad writers block but so many ideas it's physically affecting me?!? Even writing this made me ball my fists in frustration like that one arthur meme. AO3 is down and I have nothing better to do oh my god I'm going to KILL YMSELGFDKO

"Okay Lynn I understand you have writers block why don't you take a break?" SHUT HSIAFHSDOFJISDFNJKISDNJFS SHUP SHUT UP I have MANY ideas and have to put them out there so either another assassin's creed fanfic writer can borrow my ideas or I'll come back and write them later. So, please enjoy my wild rampage about assassin's creed characters.

(Also I HEAVILY doubt that someone will see these and be like "huh, I'm going to write something based on this." IF YOU DO DECIDE TO DO THAT, TAG ME!!! I want to see your work.)

Either Jacob or Evie falling in love with a templar reader, but the templar reader in question is none other than Starrick's only child and heir (A bit like Elise and Arno, to be honest). My mind has been stuck on this for so long it is actually driving me insane. I think Jacob would be more the type to have a forbidden love with a very important Templar, and bonus brownie points if the relationship is very angsty and full of conflict with Starrick and Jacob. Wait wait wait wait wait -- Jacob and Evie kill Starrick, we know this, but what if reader actually liked their father? What if after Starrick dies, reader hates Jacob????

Ratonhnhaké:ton (Connor) I feel would be a sweet lover. Like the type to bring you small trinkets from the places he visits and the type to teach you how to use a bow for hunting. I think it'd be fun to see a fic where Connor takes reader hunting for the first time (which is more just a tag-along visit) and either A) Reader doesn't have it in them to watch Connor skin/prepare the animal or B) Reader is fascinated with the skill of preparing an animal for consumption/skinning one and Connor is teaching them all the little tips and tricks to it.

I like the few fics I've seen where reader is Shay Cormac's child and either falls in love with Arno or doesn't agree with the templar ways, but what if somehow Shay's child is raised by the Templars and later reunites with their dad through Haytham, Gist, etc? A gold star if his child is absolutely chaotic and reeking havoc while Haytham and Shay try to fix the large messes made. (Shaytham agenda arise)

I NEED my girl Elise to be written for more. NEED. It'd be cute to see reader who's Elise's ladies maid and is absolutely crushing on the beautiful redhead, but readers a bit hesitant due to Arno and, of course, the air around same-sex couples back then. Come some holiday and Elise takes notice of readers crush on her, and just like casual comfort??

I had a dream a few nights ago where I looked like Rose from Titanic and was Jacob's wife (we were both older and had a son) and I came back from France and the nursemaid despised me because she was jealous of me and Jacob's marriage. I'm not sure how this could be written out but hey, if you want the nursemaid to destroy a marriage, go ahead.

Shit that's all I got in me I've been done for Bye bye It's time to go back into my cave

[thepunkmuppet]

UNHOLYVERSE CLOSING THOUGHTS YIPPEEEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

it’s 1am and I’ve finished it :)

the plot was fucking amazing as was the writing, it was like a really really good tv show, or maybe an amazing movie (pt1) and its slightly more deranged sequel (pt2 and 3). I think I definitely preferred all things unholy as a whole, but yeah the next parts really did feel very sequel-like, in that the first one was The Story and the second and third were building on that first core story, expanding the characters and world. which ummmm btw the lore is insane??? so much going on lmfao but I think it all worked really well. the fallout boy stuff was fucking wild though icl because WHAT 💀 I’m also obsessed with the idea of god talking to frank in the form of the cardinal dream, that worked soooo well and still leaving it open at the end is great. I’m so glad frank and gerard got a happy ending, I ship those stupid twats SO hard I’m literally clawing at the walls they make me INSANE RRAAHHHH!!! icl I really didn’t care about mikey and ray’s romance like at all but it worked as a source of conflict and was pretty cute

I kind of forgot it was meant to be mcr fanfic for a while lmfao, which brings me on to I guess the most important part which is my main takeaway on the whole rpf thing

as I’ve said in a post before, I really struggle to picture voices and faces accurately in my head when reading. well except when it comes to buffyverse characters, but that’s just because those shows are so deeply ingrained into my psyche forever that istg I could literally channel buffy summers at this point and just become her. lmfao but yeah I really struggle with that! so when I’m reading, I just kind of create a vibe, a vague mind’s-eye image of a character, it’s very hard to explain. so for me these frank, gerard, mikey, etc characters were subconsciously already way far removed from the real people, like I had to consciously make an effort to make them sound and look exactly like them in my head. but like I said, it felt like a real piece of media like a tv show or something, so to me the unholyverse characters are just that - characters. it really felt like mcr playing movie roles lmfao which I was perfectly happy with. the romance and other relationships were written soooooo well, the real problem was ofc the smut!

I don’t like smut in general, not in a judgy or censor-y way, I just get no joy or kick out of reading it and all it does is make me feel awkward. but with rpf smut, even though I see unholyverse frank and gerard as fictional characters, I can’t ignore the fact that THIS IS FULLY EXPLICIT WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY PORN BEING WRITTEN ABOUT REAL PEOPLE 💀 read it write it all you want, personally I find it uncomfortable and it just doesn’t do anything for me. made me think too much about the fact that it WAS rpf, yk?? got me thinking about the real frank and gerard and how fucking weird it would be to read smth like that about yourself idk, also the fact they have wives and kids…. 😟 gosh idk it was very very well-written smut, it just made me so icked out the more I thought about it

but anyway, OVERALL: I loved it. it was so good, will definitely reread, bookmark, and think about it for a very very very long time. possibly scream and cry and tear my hair out too, idk. part 1 was my favourite by a long shot, it’s so iconic, and feels pretty removed from parts 2 and 3 in a nice way that makes it feel like a movie and its strange sequel. I’ve discovered I like rpf when it’s good and when it’s a complete au and the people feel like original fictional characters in their own right. I don’t enjoy rpf smut, though, AT ALL, which isn’t a surprise bc I don’t enjoy smut in general, the rpf aspect just made it way more uncomfy for me personally. kind of feel the need now to bleach my brain out and consume normal mcr content just to remind myself of the disconnect between unholyverse frerard and the real people lmfao

OH ALSO THAT

I do NOT ship frerard irl, that shit’s fucking weird don’t do it. yes there is a difference between fic like this and saying two married friends and colleagues in real life are actually in love with and attracted to each other. I do for sure ship unholyverse frerard, as I’ve said they’re fictional characters to me

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 159

Chapter 159: "Thank You"

C'mon now, which one of you three idiots asked if this child was in pain? Did y'all not see him get smacked hard across the room a couple chapters ago? The trio is lucky they're all cute so I'll forgive them especially since their smiles are precious.

They are pretty incredible, as one would imagine from a couple fullscore kids, though this kinda makes me wish Ray had a big moment like the other two. Don't get me wrong, I love him and my boy definitely put in a lotta work back at GF, even way before the series began, not to mention all the assistance he provided to Emma & their family after the escape, but destroying the entire demon nobility and making a promise with the demon god are pretty huge, ya know?

To be honest, I thought Sonju was on the verge of snapping here. We've known for about hundred chapters that he still craves human meat and was waiting patiently for his chance to eat it once again and now he's coming to the realization that wish of his won't be fulfilled. Due to his beliefs, he of course wouldn't eat our trio since they aren't wild humans, but just imagining the possibility of him turning on them here would've been kinda exciting to witness. Surely the conflict would be solved by talk-no-jutsu from both Emma & Mujika and I could just feel the tension of having him & Ray pointing their weapons at each other which would be so good since they sorta have that teacher-student relationship yet still respect one another. Norman would kinda be a little clueless in the middle, though definitely fearing for his life since he originally had the intention to kill Sonju & Mujika.

I understand why it would be hard for Sonju to be accepted as the next king, but ya could've still tried, dude. Even if he didn't want the position in the first place, he literally could not have been any worse than Legravalima. She set the bar pretty low.

Pfftt I like how we see Norman react a bit to Mujika's words here. The dude took several fans to create a whole inferno with that extermination plan of his.

I honestly would've been so sad if this was their true last goodbye but thankfully they make a last minute appearance in ch178.

Just let it happen, Sonju. You can't fight a protagonist's affection.

When Emma brings up all the demons she's met over the years and how they take lives to eat just as humans do, she eventually brings up death and I always loved the different reactions we see between Norman and Ray, with the former being far more surprised than the latter to even hear our optimistic sunshine child think about something so depressing, as Norman tends to always see Emma in a positive light. It could also be the short amount off time Norman's seen Emma since their initial reunion back at the paradise hideout so they didn't really get the chance to indulge in their own personal struggles with everything else going on, which could also explain Ray's expression. He seems far more understanding since he's been at Emma's side ever since the escape (minus the three weeks after GP) so it's safe to say he knows her worries firsthand and can even empathize about the similar thoughts, even if we as readers never saw such a conversation happen between them regarding death before. (also really love that group shot of their whole family. a nice attempt to lighten the mood here.)

Okay, now this scene of Emma imagining her death has fascinated me for the longest time. The main reason being because it's uncertain when and where it takes place, but as I had rambled on about three years ago, I still believe this moment happens right after Emma made the promise with the demon god. To give as brief summary of that post as possible, I started off by wondering how Emma seemed relatively fine upon her return from the Seven Walls in ch144, despite learning that she was gonna lose her memories and be separated from her family, even going as far as to say "Oh. That was okay too. I'll tell you later!" when Ray had asked the requirements of the reward. Of course her response is sorta deflecting, but in all fairness, they did have to rush to capital to stop Norman's plan. It's also understandable that she kept the reward a secret to prevent her family from worrying about her, since no matter what they would say, the reward couldn't be refused. Demon god was cunning with his choice and wouldn't change His mind, so Emma had no choice but to accept it, so how was it that our girl, who is known for having such a huge heart of gold, seemed "okay" with the fact that she would lose everything that's so important to her? Well, for one, she's a brilliant actor, as this series has demonstrated several times in the past, so chalk up that quick conversation as another successful performance by her. I think another reason behind her "good' mood is that Emma had already taken time to herself to grieve about her future loses and it's this flashback right where I think that moment of reflection takes place. Once again in ch144, Ray informs Emma (& us) that it's been three hours since he first returned from the Seven Walls, which leads me to believe that Emma gave herself that much time (though probably a bit less, depending on how long the conversation with demon god actually took) thinking over the price of the reward, what would happen to her afterwards, if she could've worded the promise differently to prevent all that, etc. This girl adores her family and would do absolutely anything for them, but to live a life without them has gotta be the worst kind of punishment for her that she'd rather die than to experience it, so she eventually wonders what could be the best possible way to make that happen, if it truly had to, and remembers Sonju & Mujika.

Now, obviously, I could be completely wrong about that panel (& im splitting up these thoughts in half because i know long blocks of text are intimidating), but as I brought up in that same post from 2020, I'm still certain it happens sometime after GP, if her hair in the braid is anything to go by at least. The way she's laying down is also similar to how Ray shows up at paradise hideout once he was kicked out of the Seven Walls, though one could argue why did Emma appear somewhere outside instead of inside the base as well. Maybe she asked demon god to transport her there, I dunno, He works in weird ways. Anyways, another detail to take note of is the full moon, which is kinda important since she & Ray left for the Seven Walls during a full moon, as shown in ch130/131 since the ritual to arrive at the entrance requires one. The only nitpick about the moon however is that Anna mentions in ch144 that it's the afternoon when Emma returns, so it might not have been dark enough to see the moon that clearly in the first place, unless the demon world works differently. Who knows. (& random, but in that old post of mine, i wondered if the kids were in the southern hemisphere due to how moon phases work, but Ray literally confirms in ch5 they're in the northern hemisphere due to the way the sun rises, so just ignore that little bit on nonsense if ya choose to read that original post back.) To this day I'm not entirely sure about when & where that panel of Emma contemplating death happens in the story, but I like holding onto this little headcanon regardless. Also, I didn't mention this in that old post since I only thought of it recently, but the shadows on her neck cover her number, so if this moment does take place after Emma learned the reward, then I say keeping her number hidden is a nice, little foreshadowing moment.

...Anyways, sorry not sorry about all that. I'll keep the rest short, like how Mujika finds Sonju's brief freak out over his lost meat amusing and how discouraged he becomes when she admits she has no idea how to fix their broken demon society situation.

Favorite panel/moment:

I mean.. I would hope my favorite moment was obvious enough with all the nonsense I rambled on about it, but aside from that and Sonju's silly, little breakdown, here's some cheerful kiddos. Look at how happy they are that I'm finally shutting up.

[odetoviscera]

Liveblogging Mission: Impossible, I Guess

alright let’s start with FOR THE RECORD this is ENTIRELY the fault of @leupagus, who always does this to me, i swear to god i have been onboarded to more media by this villain (affectionate)’s posts than any other, so goddamnit it here we go MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE I GUESS

I GOT A PARAMOUNT+ SUBSCRIPTION FOR THIS AND BY GOD I’M GONNA BLOG ABOUT IT

warning: liveblogging below.

FIRST MOVIE. 1996. I AM SIX YEARS OLD. I DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM CONTEMPORANEOUSLY FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. i have a vague memory of watching it at some point in my teens, but remember almost nothing except a vague impression of like. A Claustrophobic Hallway. might not be from this movie. i’ll call it out if it’s real!

OH my god the paramount military drum roll is alternating left and right channel in my headphones. brain is flustered. inauspicious beginning.

(dead prostitute even less auspicious beginning.)

(undead prostitute/agent?)

ah I see they are spying on Russian Rocky Balboa and the (un)dead prostitute is a plant.

OH Tom Cruise is the cleaner, I was wondering why he wasn’t in the room with all the surveillance equipment. hang on, did MI INVENT the Suspiciously Lifelike Plastic Mask Gag? also yes that was the least horrific screengrab i could manage.

so undead prostitute and Mr. Cruise clearly have Chemistry. I do sort of wish undead prostitute’s first lines had not been in a ridiculous baby voice lol.

OPENING CREDITS. god, that was the logo? very b-average middle school powerpoint presentation. wait, tom cruise was a producer on this? on the FIRST one? damn, this really is the man’s anchor franchise.

these opening credits have TV Show vibes-- you know, “here’s a bunch of split-second clips of future episodes” except all for one movie. which is... oh right, movies used to be under 2 hours.

is this how we did movies on flights back in the day? a stewardess walks around with a tray of cassettes like she’s shilling the in-flight snacks??? nowadays to pull this stunt you’d have to have a coded conversation with a chatbot and convince it you know which squares contain stop signs before it would deliver your self-destructing message.

also the contrasting formality of codewords and passphrases and top-secret clearances and shit (displayed where any passing passenger could see it walking to the bathroom MY GUY WHERE IS YOUR OPSEC)-- paired with the Voice On The Radio calling mr. phelps JIM several times is kind of wild. everything is simultaneously deadly serious national security threat and “two dads discussing their respective divorces at a barbeque”. also i can’t tell them apart yet and their hair is too similar, which of these lady agents is undead prostitute and is it claire, jim’s wife (which, btw, seems like a conflict of interest) bc if so the divorce thing may be more literal, tom “ethan hunt” cruise was getting pretty soft-boy handsy with her face

mid-briefing YEP UNDEAD PROSTITUTE IS THE WIFE, also in person it’s very clear how much younger she is than jim, wonder how that relationship came about. also also SEEDS OF SUSPICION sown about why jim is always swanning off on “recruiting assignments” and the team doesn’t know where he is during these times. also maybe i’m paranoid I DID READ THE POSTS @leupagus

"if they're exposed, they'll be executed." bit of a buzzkill there jim

so much intra-team flirting! you’d think that would be counter-regulations but i guess jim is married to one of his operatives so the rules must be pretty lax lol

okay no mr. hacker/the team q making ethan a stick of EXPLOSIVE GUM when ethan has been chewing gum this ENTIRE set of scenes during the planning of the op-- that is a piss-take, lol. that is a loving piss-take. this is “here you dumb bastard i made something in your colour” energy. JUST DON’T CHEW IT. i’m love them. i know they die and i will be upset about it.

the first-person perspective is fascinating film-making. (obviously i, obsessive video game nerd, am making immediate parallels to video games that won’t come out for another half decade or so, lol.) this feels so disjointed and claustrophobic, though-- it’s a narrower FOV than you usually see in a first-person perspective, and we don’t have any of his peripheral vision. being trapped in ethan’s head (or more correctly, i suppose, in the camera on his glasses) seeing only what’s in his field of vision for these scenes is making me overanalyze everything lol. i feel like half the guests are staring at him.

oop, meanwhile jack is fighting elevators. i worry for my boy. i have known him five minutes. i should not have learned he had a name other than “mr. hacker” now i’m invested.

dslkfhas;ldkfhas;lkh stop roasting him ethan he’s in an elevator shaft! on a 1996 laptop!

elevator/spy tetris

oh my god this mark had a FLOPPY DISK on his person. the 90s were insane.

The Flirting Continues

ah, the classic Lover’s Embrace Distraction. kind of interesting to see this done with sarah, who is NOT ethan's flirtatious love interest (that's claire; sarah has something maybe going somewhere someday with jack, hypothetically) honestly it kind of reinforces that this is very much just an "it's part of my day job" move for them, i like it. and they both move into it very fluidly, without discussion or hesitation-- it's a standard play.

oh noooo jack. “i don’t have control” says jim, man who just had control. HMM I HAVE DOUBTS YOU ASSHOLE. :(((

…hang on, is the drunk laughing couple the pair i clocked staring at ethan earlier in the night or am i hallucinating bc i can’t tell actors apart

ooooh, ethan’s going off book. admittedly the book is bad but still, bad form.

“they’re covering this frequency, cut all radio communication” mmkay except what’s your evidence of that, bc we’ve seen nothing to indicate that’s the case-- jack was killed where he was supposed to be during the whole op, and you could have been spotted and shadowed from the safehouse. none of that had to be gleaned from radio communications

Convenient Les Miz River Death. also the angle on that gun ethan saw in his little camera watch was pretty sus, but he's under a lot of stress, so i won't hold it against him for not noticing.

ethan, babe, how you gonna call an abort right after ignoring an abort, of course she’s not listening to you. (however, heartbreaking: the tiny little “god!” when he takes off running back to sarah. guy is having the worst night of his life and it’s just getting started.)

WELL THERE GOES CLAIRE AND HANNAH

sarah's still following the mark so i assume she was too far away to hear that. and i KNEW there was something shifty with the drunk couple

damn the mark is getting got too. aaaand finally sarah. full house.

EVERYBODY got fucked on this op

kdfjal;skdhf;lakh god idk if i’m even supposed to trust the nice calm voice on the phone (Kittridge) like my dude ethan is focused on relaying the vital intel (little bit of shouting but the circumstances are, admittedly, DIRE AS FUCK) and you’re using your soothing kindergarten voice.

“one hour, i’ll be there myself” BITCH? HOW? YES ETHAN EXACTLY THE FUCK, WHY IS THIS GUY IN PRAGUE??? SUSPICIONS RAISED AGAIN

aquarium diner is kind of out of place/distinctive here. like, cool location, but damn, not what i’d call inconspicuous. 

i think the shock is setting in, ethan’s walking like he’s half-dead already and so far the worst that’s happened to him physically is Running A Lot.

oooh, ethan spotted something. OH OKAY the drunk pair and the embassy pair were two differently suspicious pairs lol.

extreme dutch angle on kittridge. spooky boy. not the first dutch angle we've seen so far, even in this scene, but definitely the one i've noticed the most.

oof. whole team died for Nothing. ethan’s resistance to aborting the mission was AT LEAST partly predicated on the threat that had been presented-- literally dozens, if not hundreds, of lives directly in the crosshairs if that list got out. and it’s fucking. Nothing. and as far as ethan can possibly know at this point, the only reason the WHOLE team got wiped out is that he ignored the abort. sarah, at least, he could have hypothetically saved by keeping her with him instead of sending her after the mark.

“dying slowly in america, after all, can be a very expensive proposition.” BITCH. MURDER HIM ETHAN. SET THIS WHOLE PLACE ON FIRE. anyway, this was in 1996, nice to see capitalism hasn’t improved at all in nearly thirty years. doing great. oh the explosive gum, YES BABE, jack’s last gift to you! blow a bitch up!

“kittridge, you’ve never seen me very upset” ooooh the VENOM. ethan has been kind of a kitten so far-- soft boy, very few stunts actually! kind of a jokes boy! he’s a PERFORMANCE ARTIST, his role has been Wear The Mask and play a specific part. he is, in leverage terms, the SOPHIE, not the eliot. we have not actually seen a SINGLE instance of real violence from him yet-- even taking out Russian Rocky Balboa was with a drugged drink that sarah delivered.

alright admittedly blowing up the aquarium was probably the better move but i would have liked to see kittridge get it in the face

also holy FUCK ethan can run

now here's a logistical question: does this count as an Ethan Stunt? bc so far he hasn't done any of the characteristic No One Else Would Do This shit that is famously his hallmark. i don't think this does count, honestly-- it's fairly low stakes by the standards of an Ethan Stunt, and although obviously the fish are gonna be upset about it, the overall risk to ethan himself is not high. worst case scenario if he couldn't outrun the flood was getting arrested. i'm gonna call this Typical Spy Nonsense unless someone can convince me otherwise.

listen i know all this counter-espionage shit like crunching the lightbulb to make a broken glass noise trap and unscrewing the hall light is shit he was taught in Spy School however i would like to forward that my IMMEDIATE thought whenever he does something clever is just OH MY BOY IS SO SMART

i have trauma-bonded with ethan hunt. it took exactly half an hour. goddamn it, i get it now @leupagus

And Now He Has A Gun, let’s see if he uses it.

okay the emergency money not being in the safehouse is another dick move by jim.

job 314… job 3:14?

OH MY GOD IT IS

seriously is this what the internet was like in 1996. i was an aol kid, i missed the usenet era, but i also don’t trust hollywood to know what the internet was like lol

MY BOY IS SO SMART

although doing all this in what must be the compromised safe house maybe is less so

here begin the PTSD Nightmares

oh shit! claire’s not dead! alright maybe the gun wasn’t such a great addition to the inventory lol although i’ll given ethan points for what looks, to my very untrained eyes, like a pretty solid firing posture. maybe got his elbows locked a little but he’s Stressed.

the Aggressively Sexual Frisking i could do without. very 90s though lol, and i will forgive ethan’s behaviour bc he’s having a Very bad night and claire’s shock isn’t helping with his justifiable paranoia. STILL. BE BETTER.

claire still using that baby voice. ma’am please speak with your whole chest, you sound like a toddler, i can’t take you seriously.

Spy Shenanigans ahead. back in ethan’s limited POV for a bit! i like the framing on the pickup car responding to the match.

ooh, max is a maxine.

dutch angle on max. they like that technique a lot. and a very tight framing. 

fkjha;djfh;lksh MA’AM. you haven’t even CLEANED THE BLOOD OFF, you’re gonna gunk up your disk reader

imf sure is efficient-- okay no i love the cleaning lady just “fuck it, i keep vacuuming”

Fucking Kittridge. this man has the most smarmy affect upon this earth outside of an actual british butler in a murder mystery. also what looks like an extremely fake tan. hate his guts. wish him death.

ethan has been 100% Manic Grin at max since the mask came off and i am not sure how much of that is a front and how much is ethan running at 100% capacity on 10% fuel. let this man have a nap.

lol max likes him. he’s Charmed her. “aggressive, but playful” is her type lol.

god are claire and ethan STILL staying in the safehouse? i mean I GUESS at this point imf must not know the location but this still seems dicey.

i get the impression claire actually loved jim, which makes this whole setup Wild. The Chemistry is there with her and ethan, but clearly nothing has actually come of it at this point, and if/when it does, it will be totally justifiable bc she is, to her knowledge, A WIDOW. really played yourself there, jimbo.

oooh, they’re gonna hook up with other disavowed ex-spies. …however, i will observe that it seems ULTRA FUCKING STUPID to keep a list of the people you’ve explicitly decided to cut ties with??? isn’t the point of disavowing/burning an agent that they can’t be legally tied to your organization? imf competency varying wildly lol

damn, they’re getting fucking leon on the team lol. hang on i have to google something-- yes, leon: the professional came out two years before mission impossible, this joke works.

ethan as mission planner is Much ballsier than he was as a point man/Face lol

oh my god luther’s Hacker Names lol

luther the fact that you know this much about the system already suggests you’ve thought about it lol

ethan: i’m hiring you for an impossible job the team: no such thing ethan:  Let Me Explain

luther looks like his hopes and dreams are crashing down around his ears during this security breakdown lol

Theme Music!

we love an Emergency Services Scam. big bulky costume and everybody’s in too much of a panic to think too clearly.

oop, krieger’s a loose cannon, lol. (leon!) guess ethan is still hoping to get his job back, doesn’t want to Kill Coworkers. understandable. holding out hope for an exception being made for kittridge.

i wondered if this vent crawl might count as the first proper Ethan Stunt, but krieger’s doing it with him, so i think it’s still on the side of “a comparatively sane operative would do this”.

sidebar, tom cruise in this glasses headset getup is giving me farscape john crichton vibes, which is baffling given john crichton does not wear glasses.

oh we TRAP the laser instead of turning it off. Clever.

krieger sneeze into your ELBOW my guy.

and this is the iconic Hanging From The Ceiling Scene! oh holy shit i didn’t realize krieger was there to HOLD ETHAN’S BODY WEIGHT, damn.

excellent treatment of the tension with the silent shot and only luther’s whispered warnings. ethan is remaining REMARKABLY phlegmatic.

holy shit this guy would be the most annoying officemate. i mean i know he’s been poisoned but still. get thee to a cubicle nowhere near me.

that flip! my boy is BALLETIC

OOOOH NO WHY ARE THERE MICE IN THE VENTS OF THIS SUPER SECURE AGENCY. MOUSE THEY GOT LASERS HERE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

df;lakddf;laklsh;lk aaaand the slip

excellent handling of the tension again

legit how did ethan get his hand into position for this catch with so little space

KRIEGER YOU DUMB BITCH SECURE YOUR KNIFE

and now there actually is an evacuation! lol. back to the safehouse.

krieger is gonna be a problem if you don’t communicate, ethan. ah, yes, and here we see him proving me right. we know a bastard when we see one.

MY BOY. IS SO. SMART.

i’ll be surprised if we keep working with krieger lol he doesn’t seem like he takes an insult well

OH HO. DRAKE HOTEL IN THE GIDEON BIBLE. the penny drops.

oh, i think ethan’s suspicious of claire again. jim’s wife, after all.

oop! kiss! but is it legit or is it to throw him off his game?

man, no one play poker with ethan hunt.

“i’m not gonna let this get out in the open.” luther for best boy

oh my god kittridge you fuckwit

seriously ethan do a murder you’ve earned it

holy shit is that jim in the phone booth next to ethan???

IT IS

blaming kittridge. couldn’t throw a nicer asshole under the bus, lol

oh excellent touch with ethan envisioning it with the knowledge that it’s actually jim. doesn’t fall for it for a second, but plays along, and lets the audience in on it. we get to see exactly how smart ethan is, without a doubt, but jim doesn’t get clued in. smart, smart movie.

oh shit! krieger was the assassin on the op! i missed that completely

and now ethan's debating claire’s involvement with himself.

my poor boy looks like he’s gonna have a breakdown right here at the table

“you got a lousy marriage and 62 grand a year” first of all, bitch, your wife is extravagantly attractive and doesn’t seem to be an idiot or an asshole, your marriage is probably fine; second of all, in the year of any lord 2023, NEVERMIND in 1996 money, i would kill for 62 grand a year. shut the fuck up.

okay, jim keeping the secret from claire PROBABLY clears her

love ethan continuing to write to max with bible verses bc she thought it was fun the first time lol

tasteful fade to black lol

honestly why are they bothering with having the shade pulled down to hide jim’s face lol

dlfkahsd;lkfhas;lk max enjoys ethan SO MUCH lol. i am undecided on whether she wants him carnally but i suspect she wouldn’t complain if he suggested it

oh no! overly helpful train attendant gave the game away!

oooh, max is playing both sides. unsurprising lol

i’m here for claire’s Itty Bitty Skirt.

oh shit! she DOES know about jim! damn it claire, i believed in you! fortunately ethan is more suspicious than me lol

“having tasted the goods” fucking classy, jim

eyyyy! foiled by the camera glasses! can’t believe i have to be team kittridge. offensive.

well, there goes claire. and ethan still isn’t quite at full Action Man, so he gets the shit knocked out of him.

okay i think ethan climbing the back of a bullet train with no assistive devices is his actual first Ethan Stunt. this is where this shit starts to get beyond “spy shenanigans” and into “i have no time to plan and no one else to rely on, so my improvisation is the WILDEST SHIT YOU���VE EVER IMAGINED”

fkha;ldkfha;lskhdl;kh he never did actually use that gun outside of pointing it at claire Once or perform any other acts of violence, so ethan’s first confirmed attempted murder is tying a helicopter to a train to fuck kreiger. of course.

the gum again! ethan did jack give you a whole PACK of that. also i’d like to point out that, while the circumstances are certainly warranting it-- he hasn’t got his hands free, he’s holding on to a helicopter-- when jack first presents ethan with the explosive gum, ethan handles it like it is a Very Delicate Grenade, and now he’s pulling it out of the packaging with his teeth. we are definitely past ethan caring much about his personal safety.

ethan legit came like. two inches from death.

wonder if luther’s gonna get reinstated for his part in this stunt

sounds like yes!

aaaand the chatbot stewardess is back and not taking no for an answer. guess ethan doesn't get to retire after all.

-----

ALRIGHT. LIVEBLOG COMPLETE. Claustrophobic Hallway never appeared, although there was a generally claustrophobic feeling to the whole film due to the very tight shots sometimes. i was haunted by the vague sense that i should know more about this movie than i did, lol.

in summary: ethan hunt is such a good boy and he is having SUCH A BAD TIME. literally at the end of his harrowing revenge/name-clearing adventure he just gets on a plane to england-- maybe back to those london apartments he liked? seems like it would have bad memories now, which has some interesting implications for how ethan deals with his traumas, namely “go roll around in them for a while and see if they start to feel comfortable instead of horrifying”. he’s so disillusioned with the whole pack of them that the tells luther he can’t imagine why he’d be doing it if he went back, and promises to remember luther as “disreputable”.

something i noticed while going back to get some screengrabs to illustrate a few of these points-- in the team briefing, the whole team is never framed together around the table. in fact, i believe this is the only time we’ll even see them all in the same frame. in the opening shots, sarah is on the other side of the room, pulling the shade down. claire is sitting next to ethan, and ALWAYS finds a way to be very close to ethan outside of the actual operations, which leads me to wonder how much of the Chemistry™ was being manufactured even this early on (and, by extension, earlier than the film shows us.) also poor hannah gets almost no job on this op and almost no characterization in this movie. they could have cut her out entirely and nothing would have been lost.

also in retrospect there were more clues about claire’s culpability-- she tells ethan later (during the Aggressively Sexual Frisking) that she walked away when the abort was called, but we SAW HER sitting in the car, watching ethan speedwalk past her with a frown, after she said she had already complied with that order. ethan says this when he's holding her at gunpoint, and she never actually produces a compelling explanation, she just kind of hustles us all past that by getting teary-eyed! excellent manipulation! she already knew the plan at that point, and presumably if ethan had complied with the command to abort the mission, he would have been somewhere else that claire and jim had predicted he’d be for their frame job to work. possibly claire’s Wiles would have come into things at some point there, instead of the 4am Frisk that ended up happening.

also also not to be "ethan hunt is feminine-coded" on main, but ethan hunt has quite a few Cinematically Feminine traits, especially in this action spy genre. he is the subject of violence, not the performer of it. he runs AWAY from confrontations instead of engaging them. his most successful grifts are Conversations and Disguises, and he mostly uses those tools to de-escalate. claire tells him how many bullets he has for his TWO GUNS at one point, and he never fires a single one. he is blind-folded, taken to the villain's lair, charms the villain with his good looks and witty banter. his one moment of really Macho Aggression is in a panic after a PTSD nightmare, is ultimately defused, and never recurs. will be interested to see how this develops in further films.

10/10, if ethan hunt was a dog he would be a border collie.

[a-strange-inkling]

Who is the bigger daddy or mommy's girl? I can see Maggie being a daddy's girl, but then Livvy also has a special bond with Eddie too. And both girls adore Chrissy.

Also, as the girls get older do their relationships with Eddie and Chrissy change? How does Eddie handle being surrounded by females? Lol.

This has, honest to God, made me ponder for a good hour, because they have such a strong bond with both of their parents. They both are such big mama’s girls and yet also daddy’s girls I can’t really decide. If my arm was being twisted and I had to really pick apart their brains, I’d say Livvy would lean a little, tiny smidgen more toward her mother, because of how worried she can be about her and having someone who can understand her anxiety and empathetic nature is such a relief for her. But, Eddie is her champion, he protects her and makes her feel so safe. She loves them both so very much, she would never be able to pick who she favors, even if she was held at gunpoint.

And on that note, Maggie leans a little towards Eddie. Especially when she gets older and follows in his footsteps more. As much as she enjoys driving him insane, he’s someone she can be around without worrying about being too much. He’s easier for her. Her mother and her sister are so sweet and nurturing and she adores them to death, but they are also sensitive creatures and she has to be careful of their feelings being as wild and over the top as she can be. I think she wishes she was more like them sometimes, gentle and quiet, so to see how cool her dad is and to know she’s like him makes her proud of who she is. But she loves her Mom so much, like Eddie said, Chrissy is like having a Disney princess for a mom. She’s so calming for Maggie.

Oh my gosh, so as they get older, the teenage eraTM, between Maggie constantly sneaking out and getting into various trouble/mischief and Livvy being romanced by David Harrington, Eddie has his work cut out for him.

Chrissy is a worry wort, so she’s always worried about the girls when they get older and start to go out on their own more often. Especially Maggie. Livvy never strays too far from the side walk and is a rule follower, where Maggie will climb out her window to go out with friends at midnight. There’s conflict there when Maggie’s around sixteen/seventeen, because she thinks she’s invincible and wants to do everything and Chrissy is just so afraid all the time that she’s going to get hurt. But, Chrissy knows what it’s like to be a teenage girl, and a repressed one at that. They both are able to navigate that rebellious part of Maggie’s life and grow closer through it.

This is a good point to bring up, because the first twenty years of his life Eddie has had mostly male companionship. His mother died when he was young, and then he moved in with Wayne and then there was his band and hellfire which as all pretty much male dominated. So it’s hilarious that he now lives in a household with three women lol that is a lot of estrogen. It can definitely be challenging and he sometimes needs to go out with Gareth and the guys or get a beer with Steve when he’s in town. But, Eddie as we know is a knight and a gentleman at his core, so he absolutely loves being with his ladies and being their hero.

[todays-fixation-is-spite]

just another Hunter sensory headcanon~

i wonder i wonder...

I see all the Hunter overstim headcanons and I understand them but I also ponder...

If Nala Se made him with these senses in mind, then he was born to them, made to withstand them, he knows no other way of being, it would be inefficient to experiment in such a way and I feel like Nala Se is perfectionist enough in that vein to not make a clone who'd have to contend with himself that hard on the field. Why would it be overstimulating to a point of stress if its his normal? Now I know he does have some reactions that are in line with this- getting headbutted vs Shand (that he recovered from very quickly all things considered)...come to think of it its usually quick K.O.s he bounces back from really fast... I've watched the show -too- many times now, to see how he handles when people touch him, how he reacts to his surroundings, and oh my god, just -handling- it when it took a tazer whip to the arm?! Wild shit. Amazing.

So I present a different headcanon that I wonder if anybody else shares in regards to Hunter.

What if, over suffering from overstimulation via his enhanced senses, what truly bothers, upsets, or is downright -dangerous- to Hunter...is a -lack- of sensory input? We've seen him stim before, usually in messing about with his knife or when actively taking in his environment, what if he -needs- the constant feedback? Complete silence to most even in ambient environments probably doesn't bother too much, if he can feel electromagnetic impulses across a -planet-, hear/see/smell/feel every little thing. Electrical hums, heartbeats, lil subtle smells, etc etc, as long as there is -something-, he's doing alright.

But things that would -stop- him from feeling/sensing. Equipment that dampens noise, environments that are -too- dark, empty air that is so clean he gets nothing from it, poisons/weapons/other hazards that could deaden his nerves; all of it a nightmare to be avoided.

Anesthetics are just a -huge- NO to him perhaps. Not to say he -likes- pain or anything (tho I wouldn't judge him if he does), and he is likely still fine with more mild painkillers even with clearly from the show having QUITE the pain tolerance (i mean look at his tattoo, face tattoos already -hurt-, but he has the inside edges of his nose, his brow, entire cheek and jawline, -his eye socket-), but the -absence- of sensation is truly stressful when he is accustomed to being so in tune with his environment at all times.

Suffocation is especially terrifying, and it happens all too often to him- between losing his rebreather on the moon to Wrecker strangling him, the latter of which the fear was especially clear for perhaps more than just it -being Wrecker-. Feeling everything fading, all things coming to a stop, slowly and yet inescapable, just... -No-.

Sensory deprivation chamber? Torture. D o N o t. I imagine full-immersion bacta where he has to get knocked out first is all sorts of the worst in the preamble and it's more relief than for most when he's out of it.

This also could reflect in an emotional sense! His empathetic nature when it comes to those he cares for (or is responsible for if its a mission objective!), the need to communicate and to understand what the people around him are feeling is significant. He can read a lot about a person from input he gets from their bodies, sure, but he'd rather hear it from the source, he can't know -everything-. Someone giving him -nothing- as a result, playing coy or changing on him would be stressful, which would only drive his seeming nature to tamp down on conflicts within his squad- anybody acting erratically means someone isn't talking enough about what's messing with them, and perhaps that's why he can be so aloof at the start/in neutral or professional relationships. It's a lot of effort and he doesn't need to invest the attempt if the other doesn't (see; most Regs ':D).

complete side tangent but does anyone think Hunter experiences Synesthesia too? Tasting names, hearing colors, etc etc?

I feel like all that time hanging out sleepless in the pilot seat with his eyes closed is feeling/listening to the ship and whatever he might be able to discern outside of it, like 'sounds of Jupiter' type things.

How does he perceive space radiation or solar winds? I bet it's pretty, or weirdly relaxing despite how probably "loud" it is.

Anyway >>;

[fauxkaren]

Descendants of the Sun - 9/10

This drama has been on my “to watch” list for AGES and I finally got around to it. And oh boy! It’s a classic for a reason. This show is melodramatic with a capital ‘M’. Like, this is SKY Castle and Crash Landing On You levels of melodrama. So it is a WILD ride. Does it stretch the bounds of credulity? Absolutely. Do I care? Nope. lol.

At its core this drama is the story of two officers in the Korean special forces (Captain Yoo Si-jin  and Sergeant First Class  Seo Dae-young) and their romantic relationships with two doctors (one a civilian- Dr. Kang Mo-yeon- and one an Army surgeon- First Lieutenant Yoon Myung-ju). I think part of what makes this drama so enjoyable is that both couples are equally compelling. While obviously there is a lead couple, the secondary couple was just as interesting to me (maybe more interesting tbh) as the main one.

Let’s talk about the melodrama. Obviously there are the romantic conflicts. Kang Mo-yeon and Yoo Si-jin are instantly attracted to each other but Mo-yeon struggles with what it would mean to date someone in the special forces. He constantly puts his life on the line and could be gone for months at a time with little contact. The conflict between Dae-young and Myung-ju is more about class differences. Myung-ju is a commissioned officer whose father is a high ranking commander in the Korean armed forces who objects to her being in a relationship with Dae-young who is a non-commissioned officer without a good background. So there’s this push and pull where they want to be together but they also both respect her father and idk, I just found it really good.

In non-romantic melodrama, OH MY GOD. Ok. The bulk of the show takes place in a fictional Balkan country called Urk where the soldier characters are stationed and where Mo-yeon is spending time doing some medical volunteer work. There are earthquakes and ebola-esque outbreaks and kidnapping by an arms dealer and cars going over cliffs! One disaster after another and it is AMAZING. lmao. This all happens over the span of like a month. It’s amazing.

If you go into the show with a willingness to just accept the insane levels of drama, then I think you’ll have a really fun ride as the characters face a new crisis every 45 minutes. The 4 main characters are all incredibly solid actors which elevates the show beyond the crazy storylines and make it compelling to watch even when you’re like ‘lol ok’ at some of the storylines.

[moidse]

2/1/24

Fuck. I had another dream last night where someone super cute is hitting on me. What was wild was in this dream that hot person... it was like i was in school it felt like high school and i noticed this hot person and like later in the dream im around them again and they are just very forward and tell me they have a crush on me and i say something back like, omg i've been trying to ignored how hot you are in my head... something like that and then i immediately say, oh for transparency, I am in a monogamous relationship. And i dont rememeber what the person said but they were like a lil disappointed. But i was soooo into them in the dream i woke up from my alarm to check slack and was so annoyed that i woke up right after that and i stayed in bed til 1pm cuz of it.

Like jeezuz, whenever i have these dreams it messes me up for at least a full day... its like similar to if i see someone super hot ikr that fucks with my head. but what was crazy about this dream, cuz lets be real i have been having more and more dreams like this over the past few years... dreams where someone super cute hits on me or im vibing with someone super cute and its like i have a dream girlfriend or new crush thats into me and im so excited and happy and feeling all these feelings and then i wake up and feel sad that i dont feel those feelings anymore. I feel sad that its been so long since ive felt those feelings. I clearly deeply miss feeling the excitement and rush and whorlwind of emotion that is having a crush like you back. I miss feeling sooo deeply sexually attracted to someone that the sex just regularly makes me cry. I miss feeling that passion and anytime i'm reminded of the fact that that feeling has been missing in my life my mind starts to spiral.

What am I to do with these feelings? I feel like my options are bringing this up and having them panic but being transparent. I don't really know what next steps of that convo would be except just like hey im definitely have been less and less into this over the years and idk at what point i should stop and admit to myself that i really wish i could be hitting on other people. God its so sad how fucking sad i get when i get super turned on my someone because i know i dont feel that in my own relationship and its depressing.

Like, i get that relationships fizzle out over time but ours like immediately did for me. It hurts to think about but its true that its been so many years, fucking going on 5 years since ive had amazing sex, made someone cum, felt super hot and good about myself and my sex life... like its crazy. But its just like our lives are so interwined at this point its just scary to think of how we can live apart. I do really like them and care about them which is also what makes it hard. its not like we don't do well together caring after each other... its just like can i really also carry this deep sadness? How many more years am I going to be carrying this sadness and feel so disconnected with myself.

I feel like i lost my sense of self. I am my relationship. I miss when i was my own self. I feel like i worry about every little thing in social senerios because im not that happy in my life and i dont want ppl to know that. So i just dont go out and dont open up to ppl. Cuz i dont want them to know how i feel disconnected and not into anything.

I was thinking .. what if i open up and say hey i had this dream last night and its really been weighing on me. I've been having dreams like this more and more and i know i tried to tell you this before and you brushed it off, but to me its clear that im having these dreams because i wish i could be flirting and dating other people. Which like, idk how you feel, are you interested in flirting/dating other people at all? Do you ever miss that? Because i do. Like, everything mostly works in our relationship but i always feel like i want to be dating other people. It's hard because i feel conflicted because we do work so well together. I'm like is that enough for me? Is it stupid to throw away a relationship that is very meaningful and having to spedn months uprooting my life so that i can eventually start sleeping with other ppl again.. ... ... damn just thinking about being able to sleep with other ppl seems soooo nice :( ... i miss it. ... and like i know i'll be salty when im rejected a million times and have bad experiences but when you get a good one its so good. and im annoyed ive never gotten to cruise here or go on dates. like im in big city and ppl think im hotter here and FOR WHAT?! i dont even get to taste the local cuisine.

[vinxwatches]

little demon

heard about this show because apparently christians where whining about how it's demonic and how it's about the antichrist and satan reconnecting with his daughter or something. as a massive fan of helluva boss this is obviously right up my alley, so lets see if it's any good.

starting with a birth that's not terrible to watch and a joke that got me to... well it wasn't lol, more a spit take when you have nothing in your mouth. well played. if nothing else it at least starts with one good joke.

"assume everyone is a murderer until proven otherwise." this show got the jokes. also the antichrist is named christina, because of course. also like the eye pin, can't wait for it to become a real eye or something.

also it seems to be a show about growing up as a girl... so... i expect some jealousy. i keep laughing out loud at the jokes, and i love the relationship already, and i'm 9 minutes in.

mom and dad are fighting so chrissy (i think?) fucks off. normal stuff really. except that mom and dad fighting is an epic fight scene between basically constantine and the devil.

it's a damn strong first episode. setting up the conflicts. now lets hope they can pay it off.

oh... i felt that ending. like it's mostly standard episode stuff, but that ending... really feels like they're building to something.

crying turning to evil laughting, it's such a good trope.

ah, the popularity episode. interested in how they'll handle that one. also interesting that the cool girl is going to protect fast fashion (something worth being against) which makes me think they're not doing standard cool girl stuff either.

'oh no, a zombie armadillo!!! oh, wait, nvm, it's just the devil, how's it hanging?'

they did do a subversion, and a damn good one too. easy to believe.

this show is making me lol too much for recovering from a collapsed lung (i'm fine).

it's half a "no your life is so hard" episode, half a "i can't stand being socially acceptable" and half "why did you curse me with morals" episode. i love it. fuck this show truly is great.

an episode about self condifence issues, a clear mistake that doesn't seem to be the sole focus, damn this show will tackle tough stuff and avoid the easy plot. oh, also scp peanut makes a cameo. damn this episode hit. not because i have an eating disorder or i know someone who does, but because it's extremely well done. and the ending shows that it clearly was very important to the staff too.

parent kid fights are probably the hardest, and the hardest to do right. so far it's been really good, but i worry if they can stick the landing. ok, i think they succeeded. but this isn't a one parter. and it's a heavy story to carry up on, especially with 2 episodes to go. also why did it include a stereotypical war story?

so... monster of the week while grappling with the fact that you need to give someone space? neat. are we doing a wirlwind lesbian relationship? i mean i'm down, but unexpected if so (might be reading too much into it, but the imagery is definitely there). also what other show makes me ask questions like: would whistling or wind instruments work underwater? i mean instinct says no, but logic says yes. noise works the same under water, though the speed it travels in and other stuff like that is different, so while i think you should be able to create an under water flute it's probably quite different from an air flute. oh, the tantabus makes an appearance. yes the mlp deny yourself happiness villain. it stays one of the best things that show did as it's introducing a tough concept to kids. and it gave me a word for this specific thing.

damn, final episode, well set up. now lets hope they finish it well and don't do a cliff-hanger and then get cancelled.

god this place in unsettlingly perfect.

the ending of chrissy's arc is remarkably similar to Luz. which is fucking wild. both a story of someone learning to be themselves.

but annoyingly it did end with setting up a ton of cliffhangers for a season 2, with no confirmation for a season 2. i mean i guess it's a good way to improve your chance for a second season aka keeping a job, but it does sting when you don't get that second season.

conclusion

still, good fucking show. some things i was wrong on, like how puberty would play a role, but i liked pretty much all of it. fun messages, lots of cliché problems but while certain initial solutions will be cliché that's never all that's done, and the characters are hugely interesting.

[wof-reworked]

wait you mentioned Peril x Sunny earlier I would love to see your thougths about it :0

AN EXCUSE HAS BEEN GIVEN, IT’S TIME >:Dc

the short version is: love me some foils plus look at this quote:

Long version is under the cut:

Sunny and Peril are both dragons who have been shoved into boxes their whole life that they feel like they can’t escape from so they try their best to adapt to it, but that gnawing upset feeling stays in them.  No one doubts Peril is scary (because she is), people give her their attention and consider her a threat, but of course, they don’t consider her a dragon capable of kindness/she’s a “monster”. Vs Sunny, who everyone loves and treats as a friend, but who no one takes seriously or considers capable of anything dangerous.

I also think Peril’s resentment of Sunny is so interesting too !! I forget where it comes up, but there’s this implication that Peril doesn’t like Sunny, presumably because of her proximity to Clay but also... people seem to like Sunny without her even trying. Peril takes a lot of pride in being strong/scary because in part that’s the only way people ever view her, and Sunny, despite being a small, unassuming dragon with no special abilities, builds connections seemingly without trying. And I think Peril defaults to anger when she doesn’t understand emotions so this ends up turning into resentment, but there’s this like. Note of yearning to it. Wanting to be someone who people don’t look at and immediately assume the worst of (you also have Sunny being a very casually physically affectionate dragon and that is something Peril has never been able to do).

I think Sunny is too emphatetic to have the same kind of turmoil as Peril/too aware of how rough Peril has had it, but like. I think it would be interesting if she had a similar dilemma, of sort of wanting to be like Peril, who commands space without trying, whose presence says “get out of the way.” Sunny’s book is basically entirely about how much she wishes people would take her seriously, and even with her being more self-aware I can picture her... daydreaming about it, what it would be like to be seen as intimidating instead of cute. 

And really at the end of the day their personalities just mesh in a way I find enjoyable! Both of them are very curious/inquisitive dragons, both are surprisingly practical, while you don’t see it as much with Sunny, she’s aware of the cold/crueler options, she just personally is a pacifist who doesn’t like hurting other dragons. She’s empathetic, but she’s not dumb like her friends assume. They’re not so opposite they could never work together or get along, I think at their core they’re potentially similar dragons, just molded in different ways and with a difference in empathy. They would honestly make a great detective duo, with both of them being observant/smart but with radically different approaches to most situations. 

 I think Sunny gives Peril a space to be quieter and gentler than she feels safe doing around other dragons, while Peril doesn’t condescend to Sunny and takes everything she says seriously. 

Some assorted headcanons to finish this off:

(these are all taking place in my head after Escaping Peril bc we need that good good Peril Growth)

-tall Peril and short Sunny where Peril ends up looming behind Sunny like a giant terrifying condor while Sunny is like “who wants to make friendship bracelets with me and my gf :D” to a group of students

-Honestly Peril seems to really like hanging out nearby her friends/loved ones so I picture a lot of Peril hanging out near Sunny or walking around w her, Sunny’s funky giant orange shadow.

-I think it’s funny if Sunny is very much like “my girlfriend Peril, the girl I am dating whose name is Peril, my girlfriend who I love <3″ vs Peril whose closest public admission of affection is something along the lines of “Sunny is,,,, fine,,,,,,, I guess,,,,,,,,,,” (she is blushing like it is the end of the world and conveniently not making eye-contact with anyone but shhhh).

-Sunny who loves showing things she finds interesting to other dragons, and Peril who might not always care about what Sunny brings her but is always touched that Sunny thought to show her something.

-Sunny who also finds ways around the firescales to give bits of jewelry and home-made bracelets and earrings to Peril, who loves feeling pretty and will 500% show off her new bling.

-Everyone’s brainstorming how to handle a situation, and Peril suggests a typical Peril-style plan (fire, a little bit of attempted murder, probably crashing through the entrance) and everyone expects Sunny to disagree and she just goes “no I like that, let’s go apeshit”

-Sunny who is way too forgiving and Peril who’s like “ok but give the word if you want them dead. Like I know you said you forgave them and I respect that but also. Tell me if you want them dead.” 

-also just. Peril coming to Sunny for comfort and reassurance that she isn’t a monster and Sunny who encourages Peril to grow and never loses faith in her ability to change and be a better person and at the end of the day Sunny who isn’t afraid of Peril !! Even when Peril is scary and messy, Sunny who never loses sight of the potential for good in Peril. 

-Sunny with an animus-enchanted item that lets her touch Peril and Sunny who is always casually in contact with her, twining tails or brushing wingtips, Sunny who has infinite affection to give and Peril who is so fuckign touch-starved and soaking it in.

-Alternatively, if we want to keep Jerboa’s anti-animus thing, Sunny and Peril who find ways around physical affection, Sunny who’s not afraid to stand close to Peril bc she knows she won’t burn her, Sunny who trusts Peril entirely and Peril who takes that trust to heart and makes sure it isn’t misplaced. 

-I think the idea of them in this situation moving sort of in-sync, Peril leans close to Sunny and Sunny without thinking moves away but it’s in this way that isn’t Sunny trying to avoid Peril but Sunny who’s always aware of where Peril is and like. the two of them just managing to be physically affectionate even if they can’t actually touch. Like how birds will sometimes move together like one entity. 

-Sunny is getting talked over in a meeting and struggling to get people’s attention and Peril just bodies her way into the conversation (potentially literally) going “let Sunny speak.” and not budging until they acknowledge what Sunny has to say.

-I’m just a sucker for ships where character A is used to being talked over and ignored and is saying something smart or hatching a good plan or w/e and clearly expecting character B not to really care or acknowledge it but character B just turns and fixes them with their full attention and is like “Keep talking.” I AM A SIMPLE MAN OK 

-I like to think their relationship starts out because of outside circumstance (i.e. they’re stuck together, maybe on a mission or, potentially funnier, co-teachers) and once they start spending time together it just sort of grows 

-Peril also who’s in absolute denial of her feelings to start with and is actively trying to pretend they aren’t happening which just makes her a bit of a mess around Sunny (who is amused and confused about why this is happening)

-I also think with that,,, Sunny who doesn’t even really think of Peril as being an option bc A) the whole Clay situation and B) why would Peril ever be interested in Sunny. Sunny is acutely aware of how other’s percieve her and her lack of anything notable and assuming Peril feels the same way as everyone else/thinks of her as a little sister at best and a nuisance at worst

-And maybe Peril does originally think of her that way (bc hey everyone else does) but the more time she spends with Sunny the more time she realizes how much Sunny is hiding under the surface and starts to grow this strange respect for her, which unsettles the shit out of Peril who isn’t used to respecting most people, least of all this short weird golden dragon, and we get the Perunny ball rolling >:).

-And y’know. Sunny is also in denial but in a different way, I like aro/ace Sunny but I think specifically I’m leaning towards ace lesbian Sunny who kind of views everyone in the same affectionate light and hasn’t ever consider she could like girls but Peril is sort of making her reconsider 

-She’s very much like “haha I’m not interested in Peril I just like everyone :)” meanwhile going out of her way to hang out with Peril and wanting to impress her and feeling sad when she’s not there.

Anyway I love them so much I just want both of them to be happy and I think they could both make each other happy. 

[neuxue]

for the ship asks... hualian?

Me, shipping a more or less functional canon ship?? Wild!

What made you ship it?

I'm pretty sure the tipping point for me was the conversation they have in the denouement after the Banyue arc, where their identities are openly revealed to each other and Xie Lian talks a bit about his past idealism and Hua Cheng says he thinks it was brave; and Xie Lian asks to see Hua Cheng's true form and Hua Cheng says 'but what if it's ugly and monstrous'. Possibly a little earlier, but that's the one I remember going 'okay yep I'm on board with this.'

What are your favorite things about the ship?

For one thing, how much they just like each other. And yeah I know that sounds weird coming from me, given my usual 'I ship it if it's sufficiently fucked up' approach, but part of what sells me on this one is that for all that their relationship is central to the story, it's almost never framed as a point of conflict. It's not a story about 'will they/won't they' or about 'how can these two possibly overcome their differences/misunderstandings/etc'.

They meet each other early on and go very quickly to each just thinking the other person is the coolest fucking weirdo they've ever met. Not even in a romantic sense - though obviously that becomes part of it - but in that even if they weren't a couple they'd be friends.

And so the ~drama and ~conflict in the story doesn't come from their relationship, really; they just quickly become a largely-inseparable pair who deal with a bunch of other things together. And I find that weirdly refreshing.

Also, part of the whole 'they just! like! each other!' is that they like each other for exactly who they are - it's the whole 'what matters is you, and not the state of you' thing. They've seen each other at their worst and at their best; they see and like the things others overlook or don't understand, and there's no sense of those things needing to be 'fixed' or even 'overcome'.

The other slightly different aspect I really enjoy here is the balance of power between them; how they have this power dynamic that could so easily be an absolute disaster but instead becomes a source of strength for both of them. That their relationship as a worshipper and his god is, again, not actually something that's framed as needing to be overcome or dismantled... I just find the navigation of that really interesting.

Plus, love them both as characters, and I go somewhat feral over the way this story plays with like... identity and purpose, and the way they play off of each other in that regard. (Again with the power thing - Xie Lian could so easily just... erase Hua Cheng completely, and Hua Cheng would do nothing to stop that and would indeed accept it gladly. But what Xie Lian likes about him is not who he could shape himself into but rather just who he is. And vice versa - Hua Cheng sees Xie Lian as his god but doesn't require him to stand on a divine pedestal for that).

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Oh okay here's a weird one. I think of MXTX's couples at least, this is the one that I most often see as headcanoned on the ace spectrum somewhere, and I tend (oddly, for me) to not read them that way. I can certainly see where it comes from and I enjoy it and its prevalence in fandom, but it's just. Not my own headcanon - which is maybe less of an 'unpopular' opinion as a 'Lia you read everyone as ace, wtf' one.

[musiclovingmoth]

types of scientist each pkmn prof would be irl as seen by a biology major

1. professor oak

according to bulbapedia, oak concentrates on the relationships between humans and pokemon- seems like an animal behavior scientist and professor! definitely also a famous scicommer since he hosts a radio show across kanto and johto! probably the bill nye of the pokemon world at this point. what if he was this Friendly Science Man all the 90s-2000s kids knew and like 20 years later he goes on a late night show and delivers this swear-filled rant on the global biodiversity crisis and how people need to keep their meowths and liepards inside

2. professor elm

elm gives me HEAVY recent postdoc vibes. i love how his hgss artwork portrays him to be a klutz. he’s so busy and frazzled he forgets to eat. see my post about how like half the men in biology i know look like this man. it’s also fun seeing professors who have families of their own, i like hearing tidbits here and there about their spouses and children. the *lore.* i don’t think he’d be to the level of maes hughes but when he like squeezes in a tiny thing about his wife or kid during lecture or to other members of his lab people can’t help but be like aww. he just seems wholesome! since he’s credited with the discovery of pokemon eggs, he probably would study reproductive/evolutionary developmental biology (one of my fav subjects!).

3. professor birch

(disclaimer: i have not played rse/oras) the only thing i know about this guy off the top of my head is how you get to pick your starter only because he’s getting chased around by a poochyena in the field. i love this fieldwork mishap energy. look at him, he’s wearing sandals and shorts into TALL GRASS. himbo scientist vibes, even tho those things kind of conflict. according to bulbapedia, he specializes in... HABITAT AND DISTRIBUTION?? oh my god also one of my loves. one of the phd students i work with who also kinda studies distribution once fell into a >6 ft soil pit doing field work. if birch is getting chased around by wild animals as a professor, i can only imagine the shit he got himself into as a grad student.

4. professor rowan

one of the oldest professors at the school, to the degree where everyone considers him an enigma and takes his classes at least partly out of curiosity as to what he’s like. most people say the same thing, which is that he seems really scary at first but basically he’s just grandpa! has office hours that somehow work for everyone and has a huge bowl of candy at his desk. if you go, he’ll encourage you to take some and he’ll probably also take and eat one during your meeting. as per bulbapedia, literal evolutionary biologist. i feel like all the pokemon professors are somewhat of of evolutionary biologists by their trades, which may make rowan the Big one out of all of them. maybe neil shubin-level famous...

5. professor juniper

ONE OF MY FAVS!! i love her energy so much. she also gives me recent postdoc vibes but i could also see her as the weird (in a good way!) and spunky pi (principal investigator, basically the research manager) of her own lab. definitely active on scitwitter where she keeps up with the latest papers and advocates on academic issues. specializing in the origins of pokemon sounds a lot like an evolutionary biologist to me, though again i feel like all the professors are to an extent because “evolving” is pokemon’s thing. probably also works a lot with extremely old fossils, maybe from around the cambrian. if so, that definitely makes her an invertebrates person, my favorite kind of person (the lab i work with is full of them and they’re all wonderful). ohh maybe she even does research on the jump from unicellularity to multicellularity! definitely a close colleague of rowan, maybe even a former student!

6. professor sycamore

god if this man ever did a guest lecture or visiting professorship at a foreign university (like in “america” vs. “france”) everyone would go fucking nuts. his classes would fill up instantly. he teaches like. an introductory course on cell bio and there’s a not-insignificant portion of students there who are upperclassmen. i don’t really remember much from xy but that letter he leaves as a young man to his future self is very nice, i think he’d be a very supportive advisor/mentor and would be great at encouraging underclassmen to take their time and pursue their dreams. studying mega evolution, an instantaneous temporary change, reminds me of phenotypic plasticity, which is when individual organisms can change physical form in response to environmental stimuli. a really cool topic!

7. professor kukui

another professor where everyone signs up to take his classes. i feel like his chill yet enthusiastic attitude make him a good candidate to teach gen bio for freshmen, he’d be a great communicator and also probably puts actual good memes in his lectures. i feel like on the about page of his class/professional website he’d have this professionally-done photo of the masked royal, not even one some other fan took at a match, and it would be captioned “i’m a big fan of the masked royal! check out this sick picture i got of him” and he’d just do such a terrible job of hiding the fact that it’s him. i think due to the rigors of academia, it would be a retired thing he used to do, but the new students all lose their minds when they find out about it. WHAT IF HE TOLD EVERYONE A SURPRISE GUEST LECTURER WAS COMING IN AND IT WAS JUST HIM AS THE MASKED ROYAL AND HE MADE A BIG DEAL OUT OF HOW “HE AND KUKUI ARE FRIENDS” BUT EVERYONE KNEW BUT STILL WENT WILD ANYWAY. an irl analog to studying pokemon attacks... maybe the specific defense/attack mechanisms of a specific group or species. he likes rockruff and lycanroc right? maybe he’s also a behavioral biologist who studies how wolves hunt in packs and how their sociality evolved.

8. professor magnolia

(disclaimer: i have not played swsh) since she studies dynamax, she might also study phenotypic plasticity. apparently her work on it was so influential it started the trend of using it in big flashy galarian stadium battles, so she probably travels to do guest lectures a lot and it’s a BIG DEAL wherever she goes! uhhh idk what “galar particles” are? sounds like molecular or cell biology. oh maybe she studies differences in metabolism between form changes and what physiologically changes to keep up those different structures.

[whimsicaltwine]

ok so i've seen a couple people freak out over my tags on this post and i'm a bit insane on this saturday evening and so now i'm going to elaborate a bit. for context, the tags in question:

(this got long, so i'm putting it under a readmore)

several things about this. first, sausage. I've been rewatching season one again lately, and am at about when xornoth starts showing up in fWhip's pov, and one thing that has been striking me are the conversations between him and Gem that Sausage is not privy to. Worrying about him and discounting him go hand in hand, in many of these; early on in canon, they tease him, pointing out how he's silly (he is) and a bit too inclined towards conflict (he is) and it's all lighthearted and he doesn't mind but it creates a dynamic where you get the sense the two of them are shooting each other exasperated glances and rolling their eyes at him. They groan or laugh, Sausage keeps clowning around to get a rise out of them, and they go sure, Sausage, whatever you say, Sausage, and look at each other like exasperated but fond parents might at the antics of their toddler.

Somewhere along the line, these little looks, the ones that don't go over Sausage's head, the ones he thinks about at night when he compares himself to them and finds himself lackluster, the ones he tries not to think of that way because he also really honestly does have fun annoying them, turn into judgemental conversations behind his back and then worried ones. They talk about how he can't really do magic at all and then how his relationship to Xornoth is concerning. After it all, they take him back, but the rift Sausage's actions caused doesn't go away; it smooths over, they acknowledge he suffered, too, and that they love him enough to let him into their lives again, but all of that still happened. So just. With the context of all that - leaving him. Running away from the end of the world in what they believe is a life or death choice and not trying to pick him up on the way out. They love him!!!! They love him so much and they think of him often after everything and wish he was there but the fact of the matter is that in the moment, when they had the choice to get him, they did not. And the last thing they did was hear him do that thing he does where he says things in a lighthearted or joking tone (oh, haha, look at how wild and out of pocket this is, roll your eyes at me and sigh fondly) when really it's a plea to talk about them, if not a cry for help, and not listen. Neither of them listen. aoauauaufhafjaklfjajdflkj god I'm obsessed with the wra ok

Second thing: on stream sometime in season two, we got this from Sausage that I had to really hunt through my notes app to find:

“So technically, I’ve done a lot worse, in my, in my past, uh, life, uh, it, you know, throughout Mythland’s time period after the cataclysms. Ok, I did a lot worse, ok, I literally murdered people, uh, to fix things, ok, that technically messed up timelines and time frames and a lot of things happened that weren’t supposed to happen, but you know, that, taking a statue is absolutely nothing, it’s absolutely nothing. I technically murdered some people - I’m not gonna say who I murdered, I technically tried everything I could and I did a lot of bad things, ok, there’s a lot of things that I don’t even wanna bring up.

Sausage is trying to stop the apocalypse, yeah? And here he says he tried killing people to do that. Now, what kicked off all that? Which people would be the most logical to kill in order to prevent everything? How did it feel, looking into fWhip's eyes with his sword drawn? Even if it wasn't his fWhip, even if this version had a few memories different or a few scars in different places. He must have looked confused as much as he did angry and shocked because Sausage was supposed to be better now; he was supposed to have his best friend back. How did he scream, before the life went out of his eyes? How did Sausage cry? How many times did he have to try it in different universes before he could gather the fortitude to go through with it?

sometimes out of the blue ill remember that actually wra never got reunited. like thats our closure. he ran off to other timelines and got lost and could never find his way back home. that moment in the bar from season 1 was the last time those three ever talked. and they really did spend the rest of their lives never sure of what happened to the other.

[chalksoul]

you mentioned in a recent post that jotnar will always fight the æsir (discussing natural enemies). i was wondering what the european perspective was on that relationship, why they don't get along and stuff? (i still feel very new to heathenry and am always looking for new perspectives on the jotnar)

Oh, I couldn't possible answer form an broad European perspective, it's debatable if I can even answer it from a Swedish one. So from my view, influenced heavily on the stories I grew up with on Gotland its like this; The Jötunn is the wild ancient forces. The very earth, the sea and the mountains is from the corpse of Ymir. They represent the wild and untamable forces which will always be in conflict with the Asa and their symbolic representation of humanity and its civilizations and communities. They are however not evil, or not more evil than a landslide or a storm is evil. They can be destructive to us, but they are also needed for the world to work. And without them there would be nothing. (also worth remembering that Oden, Loke and Tor among other are of Jötunn blood) In the old stories there are many motifs of war and strife between people. Such as the Asa, Jötunn or the Vanirs wars. But there is always tales of these people making peace. Many Jötunn, Asa and Vanir marry each other. There is a message that even long hold grudges can be overcome, not always on a societal level, but always on an individual one. (and it is easy to see that the tales of peace are framed to be wise and positive ones) In my point of view the word "god" is a blurry one to asatro. Skadi is a Jötunn and worshipped, does that mean Jötunn are gods? Is it important if they are? Even Tor, the most prolific in the wars fall sin love with Jarnsaxa. I seem to have once again start rambling, sorry for that. In short: they will come in conflict due to wanting and representing fully different things, but many time they also overcome that conflict.