#also my brain is racing again and it's almost 4 AM

[heartshattering]

The mall I used to go to when I was younger is dying (or already dead considering who you ask). There's pretty much only two stores left that any people care about going to, one being a bookstore and the other being an anime shop that's a small, minority-owned business...

Well, today I found out some people (looked like late teens - 20s in the security footage, so not little kids) have been stealing blind box figures from the shop, maybe to resell online 'cause the shop has them for minimum $20 less than what I see people asking for them on shopping apps. They haven't caught who's doing it and sadly I think it's the kind of thing that will probably continue happening. It just sucks that the shop is most probably going to go out of business, I'm a shut-in and can't even remember the last time I went to any mall in this city thanks to my current life situation, but it's still sad since the shop owner is genuinely sweet.

[cressidagrey]

The moment I could see it - Part 2

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Ariel Cane (Original Character)

Summary: 5 Times that Gianpiero Lambiase thinks that Ariel Cane and Max Verstappen are weirdly similar…and 1 time he is just happy that the two of them are no longer pining after each other. 

Warnings: 

GP's POV, mention of cancer, mention of parent's death

Author Notes: I am back to my old tricks...which means I write from the most random of POV's just because. (I once wrote a chapter from a dog's POV so like, GP doesn't even really count.

About 3 months later, GP once again returned home from Race Weekend. 

This time for good. Abu Dhabi had gone off well enough, Kvyat ending with a respectable 9th place... and Max Verstappen had ended up with enough penalty points on his special license that he was just 4 points away from a one race ban.

GP shook his head in weary disapproval as he thought of the young driver’s antics. Max really seemed to have no sense of when to stop. 

Still, GP had some sympathy. Driving at that level was a high-pressure experience, and Max was still so young.

Well, he wasn’t GP’s problem. Thank god for small mercies…

Though that gritty determination and bravery bordering on stupidity… well, that was something that GP both admired and dreaded. 

But…F1 was finished for the year, and he got to go home for christmas. So he would also get to ban all thoughts of Max Verstappen from his brain for the foreseeable future. 

It wasn’t a very christmas-sy sight that greeted him as he turned his car into their street though. 

Instead it was a hearse.  

 Parked right across their neighbour’s house. 

In front of the house with the red front door. 

In the three months since he had first met the Cane Family, Laura and him had indeed taken up Ariel on her offer to babysit twice. Both times Franny had been more than happy with her caretaker for the evening. 

There also had been an ambulance at the house twice, once ending in a two week hospital stint for Paul Cane, as Laura had told him over the phone while GP had been in Singapore and Japan…

And now there was a hearse.

Immediately the fatigue of the weekend's race and travel seemed to vanish, replaced by a sudden sense of dread.

He parked and then climbed out of his car, his stomach in knots, and quickly crossed the street to his own house.

He walked up his front steps, forcing himself to take deep, slow breaths. He wasn't going to jump to conclusions. Not yet.

"Honey, I am home!" he called out for Laura. He found his wife in the living room, cuddling a sleeping Francesca. But she wasn't alone.

Emma was sitting on the couch, legs pulled up to her chest, staring emptily in front of her. 

"Hey," Laura greeted him, a forced smile on her face, putting Franny down, as she came to hug him.

"Their father died this afternoon," she whispered. "Ariel dropped her off, so that she could deal with the..."

Laura didn’t need to say anything more.  GP wrapped his arms around Laura, pulling her close. 

"How is she?" he asked quietly, his eyes flicking to the girl sitting almost in a daze on the couch.

“How would you be if your only remaining parent died?�� Laura gave back softly. 

"Ariel?" he whispered. 

Laura shrugged. “I think she is handling this with more maturity than an adult twice her age would,” she said quietly. “I offered to take Emma off her hands for the night, get her out of the house…”

GP smiled sadly at his wife. It was typical of her to be so generous. Despite the fact they had their own baby to look after, she wasn't about to leave the thirteen-year-old alone.

He looked back at Emma, who was still sitting on the couch, looking small and lost. It made his heart ache.

"Ariel refused. Said their older brother is on his way as well," Laura said quietly. "But he seemed...pretty much useless, to be honest."

GP felt a flash of anger at her words. Useless? How could their brother, a grown man, be useless in such a time of need?

He forced himself to take a steadying breath, reminding himself that he didn't know the details. It wasn't for him to judge.

"What do you mean, useless?" he asked, trying to keep his voice calm. He cast a glance at Emma again. 

His wife sighed, looking rather frustrated. "He just...he just doesn't seem to be able to deal with any of this," she said, her voice low. "Ariel basically has to walk him through how to actually get here..."

Gianpiero shook his head, his respect for Ariel growing even more. She was already dealing with so much, yet she had to handle her brother as well? 

"She's got enough on her plate already," he muttered, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Laura laid a hand on his arm, giving it a slight squeeze. "I know," she said. "But she's doing all she can to keep things together."

He looked over at Emma again, sitting so quietly on the sofa. She was just a child, watching everyone around her fall apart. It was all so wrong.

GP took a deep breath, trying to push down the feeling of powerlessness. "When will her brother get here?" he asked his wife, struggling to keep his voice neutral.

"He said he'll be here within the hour," Laura replied quietly, her expression one of concern. "I can start dinner for everyone..."

GP nodded, knowing that his wife was trying to do whatever she could to help. But as he watched Emma sit on the couch, still looking so lost, he couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness.

He walked over and sat down next to her, careful not to crowd her. For a moment, he just sat there in silence, not sure what to say.

He stared at his own daughter, asleep and content…once Franny was asleep, nearly nothing was going to wake her up again. 

Emma didn't say anything, just continued to stare out into space. Her eyes were dry, but her face was pale and stricken.

"Hey Kiddo..." he said softly, trying to draw her attention.

She turned her head slightly, casting him a quick glance before returning her gaze to the distance.

He continued in a gentle voice, "How are you holding up?"

Emma didn't respond, just pressed her lips together tightly, but the way her chin trembled betrayed her effort not to cry.

He had no idea what to say to her. What could he possibly say to comfort a child who just lost her father? Nothing, really.

"I remember when Mom died," Emma said suddenly. GP started slightly at the unexpected words. Hearing her bring up her mother's death so suddenly was a bit of a surprise.

But he quickly composed himself, keeping his own voice soft. "You do?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," Emma said simply. "Ariel was as old as I am now. I was 8. She took care of us. Dad was useless. But Ariel took care of us. Just like she takes care of everything now."

Gianpiero felt a pang of sadness. Emma was so matter-of-fact about her sister taking charge of the family, as if it was an expected outcome. 

"Percy dissappeared afterwards. Left us alone," Emma continue weakly. "I don't think he wanted to be around us anymore."

Gianpiero felt his heart break a little at her words. "Why do you think that?" he asked gently. 

"He went off to university.." Emma said softly. “Doesn’t come home until it’s christmas anymore. Some people say he's some kind of genius," she said with a roll of her eyes. 

Gianpiero was taken aback by the scoff in her voice. It seemed like Emma had an opinion about her brother.

"You don't agree?" he asked curiously, keeping his voice gentle.

"Yeah well...I guess he's smart and all that," Emma said sullenly. "Good with numbers. Bad with people."

GP could hear the distaste in her voice. It seemed like there was some resentment there, towards her older brother.

“He just left us. Like we didn’t matter.”

He was tempted to ask her more about it, but the sound of a car starting pulled his attention...and then Emma was up from the couch, sprinting outside. 

He followed after her, after a glance to Laura. 

The hearse was pulling out onto the street. 

By the time he was outside, Emma had already collided with Ariel on the sidewalk. 

GP felt his heart ache as he watched the two girls hug, Emma clinging to her older sister as if her life depended on it.

Ariel hugged her back, her mouth set in firm line, as she watched the hearse carry their father's body away.

GP didn’t want to watch this. He felt like the worst kind of voyeur to see this…to bear witness to this moment, where he could see their grief laid bare like this…

And still he was rooted in a spot watching… He felt an odd sense of awe watching the girls. They were so young, so vulnerable, and yet so strong.

Ariel was clearly holding back her own tears, putting on a brave face for her little sister. Emma was sobbing quietly on her shoulder, her slender frame trembling against her sister's strength. 

He felt a sudden rush of anger towards their older brother, Percy. How could he not be there when his younger sisters needed him so much?

He tried to push down the emotion; there was no point in being angry right now. He was about to turn away and give the girls some privacy, when he noticed a car pulling up onto the street, and then stopping.

The man that got out of the cab was clearly their brother, his red hair a dead giveaway. GP couldn't help but notice the lack of warmth in his movements.

Percy Cane seemed…nearly detached as he took a few steps towards the house, but his steps seemed slow, as if every step he took was something he didn't want to do.

Here were his younger sisters grieving over their father's death, and Percy Cane acted as if he would rather be anywhere else.

"Perce," Ariel greeted him, her voice soft.

Emma turned in her sister's arms, staring at him. "You came," she said, her voice somewhat…actually surprised.

"You are my sisters," Percy responded, nearly robotically. 

There was something...off about the way he spoke...so emotioneless...so controlled… 

He watched as Percy nodded somewhat mechanically at his little sisters, avoiding making eye contact with them. "Of course, I came," he added after a moment.

"For how long?" Ariel asked him.

"I am finished. I don’t need to go back."

GP was quite sure that he was missing some of the context. 

"Finished with what?" Ariel asked him, staring at her brother. 

"My doctorate," Percy answered. "I am finished."

Gianpiero's jaw nearly dropped. The boy had finished a whole damn doctorate? How old was he, twenty-two, twenty-three at most? And here he was, talking about it like it was a minor inconvenience…

"What do we do now?" Percy asked Ariel, and for the first time...GP heard something like shaking in his voice.

And suddenly it made sense. 

Percy Cane wasn't an unfeeling monster. Even when he sounded like a robot or an emotionless asshole. 

GP would have bet nearly everything that Emma's assessment of "Good with numbers, Bad with people" also involved "horrible with feelings”. Clearly, the young man was out of his depth dealing with the emotional fallout of his father's death.

GP couldn't help but wonder if his detachment was just a way of coping, a wall to shield himself from the overwhelming emotions. But it wasn't helping his sisters right now.

But Ariel didn’t let that stop her. Didn’t let it make her hesitate. 

GP was struck by that fierce determination that crossed her face. She was taking on the responsibility for her family, no matter what.

"We'll get through this. We have done it before. We'll do it again."

It was a lot for a young woman her age, but she wasn't backing down. She was going to see her family through to the other side of this.

No arguments were heard...not when Emma buried her face against her sisters shoulder...and then for the first time...GP saw Percy Cane's hard shell break.

The usually emotionless young man looked utterly lost.

It was clear Percy hadn't quite figured out how to handle his own feelings about the situation. But his sister's words seemed to break through the walls he had built around himself.

And then…then suddenly he was hugging both of his sisters.

"You hate hugs," came Emma's muffled voice. 

"You don't," was Percy Cane's simple answer.

He watched as the three Cane siblings embraced each other, their arms tightly wound around each other.

But it was Ariel...Ariel that was the tower of strength. Who was the center. 

And the center must hold, regardless of anything else.  Ariel was the foundation, the one who kept them from falling apart. 

He could see how hard this was for her, how much she wanted to cry and grieve like any other girl her age. But in her mind, she couldn't. Not now. Her little sister and her oler brother needed her to hold it together so they had something to hold on to.

She was supposed to be a carefree college student, not the responsible head of her dysfunctional family.

Other kids her age only worry was from where to get cheap booze for the next night out. 

Being the strong one, the one who had to hold everyone together, was one of the hardest roles to play. It took strength, resilience and a ton of emotional stamina.

And determination. 

Ariel Cane seemed to have that gritty determination in spades.

[mecachrome]

What is the hype around jendo? I am trying to do research but I feel like they barely had any interactions?? Especially recently? Is there a primer or something cause I totally want to try to get into them!

OMGGGG well i wouldn't call myself a jendo expert or anything but i can briefly tell you why i like them!!! also soz for late reply 😭

tbh the very first thing that converted me was watching this interview forever ago because i remember being deeply intrigued by lando's demeanor + relative shyness + how hard he tried overall to appear Respectable and Mature in front of jense while answering his questions??? like the way jenson smiles at him during "are you happy?" "UMMM... kind of" wtheck T__T

jendo honestly have a lot of lore though! again i am not an expert but @cuthechicane has so many fantastic clips and gifsets if you're looking for interax that will rewire your brain chemistry ☝️ (the sheer giddinesssss of their miami interview 😭 also this is a classic moment). part of their thing is that they're both "somerset boys" (lando grew up in glastonbury / jenson is from frome) so that connection also kind of adds an extra layer to jenson having raced for mclaren / lando looking up to him and the general hero worship or cyclical nature of f1 that is palpable in their dynamic and a lot of other f1 agediff ships. ofc rossi was lando's real hero but... you know jenson is jenson

really though i think what i like most about jendo is how much jenson genuinely ADORES lando lmfao like their dynamic is so ridiculous but in a really absurdly sincere way!!! ofc it's super fun to go all in on the rancid age gap power imbalance vibes etc. and the way they flirt in public and fluster each other but jenson 100% RATES lando and hypes him up constantly to the point that it's almost embarrassing negl. lichr him going all in on lando like 4 hours ago... what's craziest to me is that he sincerely believes everyone else loves lando too like his brain can't comprehend the mere concept of someone not being obsessed with his favorite little british twink 😭 he's those innocent guys on reddit who still post comments like "lando is so nice it's impossible to hate him!!!" as if we're still in 2019 or something...... i want to live in that world

imo there's also an aspect to jendo where it's like...? jenson sees so much of himself in lando to the point of having preconceptions about lando's mentality that he projects onto him a bit which i think adds dimension to jenson's vulnerability but that goes into way more my own Meta and isn't really relevant to this post. but part of jenson's personality is that he is very charismatic and a natural speaker and also Usually Right so he loves to SAY shit and although he's not quite a nico-level professional shit stirrer he does kind of um... always speak like he knows something you don't. as evidenced by his time as lewis's teammate wherein he won the idgaf war by not acknowledging it going on in the first place. this is also why he and oscar should banter more because i feel like the comparisons between oscar and jenson are honestly so apt HLSDFH i have a jenson/oscar/lando post if that is of any interest

ok sorry i'm getting off-track but >>>all of that to me is why jendo is fun... jenson presents as very self-assured but if you do a psyche deep dive you realize he was quite sensitive growing up and Personally Victimized by briatore and has been quite open about his anxiety and the way f1 culture functioned at the time, and he's always been quite emotionally regulated but obviously there was... also a lot of glamour that accompanied that until later in his career LOL. so getting to explore those sides of him with a 20-something lando who very much mirrors him (self-reflective and sometimes overly critical and learning to live the "highly committed and industrious playboy" life) but also makes his façade crack in ways you don't often see is so fun & fascinating...!!! imo you can take them in a lot of different directions as a ship :3c

^ bonus bits i like from his book

[gabsword]

Little rant about Wynonna Earp: Vengeance.

I am someone who has a deep love and nostalgia for this show, it was a really important part of my coming out and discovering myself journey etc and I can honestly say I was obsessed with Wynonna Earp. With that in mind I did genuinely quite enjoy Vengeance and I’m so happy to see all the characters again so any of my criticisms are with that love in mind. That being said there were quite a few choices that frustrated me that I have to get off my chest.

Lowkey afraid to post this because I know so much of the fandom think Wynonna Earp is immune to any criticism (read: the whole racism debacle).

Also I’m sure a lot of my criticisms could also be levied at the show itself but tbh I haven’t rewatched it since it came out so I’d have to rewatch it and put on my critical brain.

SPOILERS BELOW

1. I think the more the show puts Mercedes through the wringer the less of an impact it has. As awful as it sounds I kinda wish something happening to one of the other characters (eg. Nicole) but not necessarily death, could’ve been the catalyst. (I’m less strongly opinionated on this point I just thought it’s worth mentioning.)

2. I though the fight choreography was pretty shit, I felt absolutely no stakes during the hell hound attacks.

3. This might be a controversial opinion, but I think there WASN’T ENOUGH fan service. Considering this is a reunion almost entirely aimed at fans on a random-ass streaming service, intended to lean in to fans nostalgia. Unless I’ve missed it they only mentioned Dolls once (quite subtly and they mention Bunny Fucking Loblaw more than him) never mentioned Rosita, Robin, Chrissy, Rachel Valdez, Kate etc etc and again I might have missed this but they didn’t even mention Julian??? Glad Jeremy showed up at the end though

These next three are the most egregious in my opinion.

4. WHY TF DID THEY MAKE WYNONNA A COP??? It makes no fucking sense for her character. So much of her character arc is about distancing herself from her father and making her own path then she follows in his footsteps???? If they wanted to give her a job to show she was settling into the Purgatory community and still on the look out for demons she could have I don’t know, been a Park Ranger or a PI or literally anything else. Like I get that she has people she trusts and loves on the force in Nicole and formerly Randy but this still doesn’t make sense to me and feels like more copaganda than the show already has.

5. Wtf does Emily Andras have against Wynonna being happy with her child. At the very least even if it was unsafe for Alice to live with Wynonna they could show her visiting her and forming a relationship (which she so desperately wants). It also feels like a disservice to Doc to not follow that up. I wish the ending had been Wynonna sitting with Alice and telling her about Doc instead of just ‘hey welcome to the force! Congrats!’

6. Considering the show has such limited representations of First Nations peoples (I’m struggling to think of any), the only Native American character being a demon feels dodgy af to me. But that alone could theoretically be talked out of as ‘there are demons of every race’. Ok, then WTF would you have your main character making fun of the Native characters calling her ancestor a coloniser??

[sabrondabrainrot]

Share us your fics ideas please!!

I have sooooooooo many! (Also sorry it took me so long to answer this I didn't see my inbox)

I'm in so many fandoms and my brain is always thinking of found family or hurt comfort or fluff so it tends to all ruminate in my brain.

1-A Wildcards - a Persona x MHA crossover fic. I've started writing this one and it's in the works but the basic idea is, "what if ever persona protag is under one roof and all siblings and all are in school at the mha world." I have chapters and plans but it's hard to get fic motivation on this one at the moment. One of my theories also turned out right for MHA lore and I can't explain why but having my own theory proven right really took the wind out of my sails. XD

2. ff7 what if au - basically there's a theory me and a bunch of ppl online share where president Shinra has a bunch of bastard children and basically my fic idea is, "what if the bastards all grow up under one roof." So I'm currently doing research on characterizations for it. It's difficult for me to nail down Cloud's, Rufus', Evan's, and Lazard's personalities. I love Au's where ppl are brothers or grow up together. I don't have any plans for this other then the kids somehow help Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth not go insane but I can't figure out how I want to do that.

3. Simon Petrikov: Fionna and Cake Adventure Time drabbles - basically wanted to continue where Fionna and Cake leaves off and put Simon in the trauma cube where he gets to heal from his past. I also am a sucker when Trauma is blasted in 4k for everyone to see so the entire crew that cares for Simon also gets the trauma beam. I also realized Simon and Betty were never married so I decided that must be changed and wrote them a wedding. :)

4. Gohan's Wheel of Emotions - Another fic idea I've had for a few years now. I want to do a series where basically some kind of xyz machine goes wrong and Gohan gets split into a bunch of pieces and it becomes a race against time to put him back together. I was planning for his emotions to be wondering around. I want this to be teen era Gohan too because I'm a huge sucker for the Saiyaman ark. It's again just hard to find time to write it! I just want to write a cheezy little light hearted kind of self healing story.

5. TMNT turtle tot au - just a fun multicrossover baby adoption event. I'm currently writing this and have almost 2 chapters done! I love the idea of the 2003 turtles having a bunch of different aged turtles showing up at their doorstep. So they have to juggle sending everyone home while doing their best not to adopt anyone (spoiler alert the kids adopt THEM)

6. TMNT a KH/Tsubasa inspired story - I don't want to share too much on this plot but if you know about Kingdom Heart and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles then you can get the idea of what if might be about. :)

7. TMNT brainrot drabble - currently working on this one but it's an 87 drabble fic that was inspired by season 5's finale. but now that I'm writing it (it's almost to 10k now) I REALLY want to have it go past the show finale too because MAN the last seasons of 87 are GREAT angst potential. I'm a huge sucker for hurt comfort and this entire fic is kind of like hurt comfort lite.

8. Hetalia - I have so much brain rot for Hetalia but I find it surprisingly hard to write for. I want to do a bunch of silly Hetalia fics about America and his super strength. I love that little idiot because he's MY adorable little idiot. The show is also just so cute and funny it is a big guilty pleasure of mine.

9. Lout of Count Family / LCF stupid idea - basically what if Cale Henituse can sing but he only sings the silliest dumbest songs ever in the history of Rowoon. That's it that's the fic.

10. I have a silly idea for a big multicrossover between all the korean light novels i've read and various manhwa and danmei novels. Like, "What if all systems have a chat function and it connects you to other system users." So it would just be a casual chatfic comedy.

That's most the of the ones I could think of! :P

[fanghur]

thinking about the maximum ride series by James Patterson again and, like, I still love the concept and story, just really, really hate the writer and how he treated it. Almost nothing is consistent save for character's races (but hair and eye colour are free game!), there's plot points that go nowhere that I'm still mad about, and can't because the last book I read ended (Spoilers for uhh, Nevermore I think?) with fucking Meteors Coming the Fuck outta Nowhere and hitting the Earth and fucking killing basically everyone outside the people we care about, so never mind the ominous tunnel under the normal school from book two, it never came up again and everything destroyed! Which leads to my third major issue, 'plot twists' that come from nowhere and/or a different plot twist feels like it's coming but Nope! See, previously mentioned Meteor of Fuck Y'All

Like, you want another example of the series lost potential? Okay, cool, buckle up because it's gonna be a doozy, not even getting into all the rest of my ranting after.

So in case you aren't familiar with the series and wanna know wtf am I talking about, here's the first book. Max Ride is a mutant bird kid that leads a Flock of other bird kids and makes sure they aren't found by the scientists, White Coats, that created, abused by, experimented on, abused by, and did I mention abuse? They got out 4 years prior because Jeb, a white coat, got them out, so he's Good! but he disappeared, so boo. Anyways, one day they're all chillaxin at their home that Jeb was able to acquire for them years ago without The School that the White Coats work at knowing about, and Boom, evil wolf-human hybrids called Erasers show up, and kidnap Angel, the youngest at 6, and also a telepath, and the others chase after them. Got it? Good.

They get Angel back, awesome, now they're on the run, less awesome. Then Max get's a grenade-grade migraine that almost makes her a Splat because it was at cruising altitude, and Ta-Da, Max! You're now the proud owner of a Voice in your head, but don't worry, you're not developing a mental illness, because it can interact with computers and stuff! A couple books later, Jeb, who's alive! But, ~gasp~ EVIL??! reveals that HE is the Voice! Aaannnd that's all the reveals I remember regarding that plot point.

Sooo, with the background knowledge, you probably noticed something, if only because of the details I chose. That's right, no one suspects Angel the telepath of being the source or carrier/relay point of the telepathic Voice, because she's Baby, nevermind that she telepathically forced someone to ram into a wall repeatedly, she's Baby. Like, as cool as I thought Max was, I wanted to shake her even back then because Angel was Literally in the Hands of the White Coats Maximum use your fucking brain-

And that could have been a cool plot twist that Angel was evil and subtly guiding everyone along. Hell, she askes/demands to be made leader of the Flock and Max just, says no and waves it to the side? Like, girl she could make you! Ask yourself Why? But nope, Jeb's gotta be able to talk in the Voice's, well, voice, meanwhile the company that owns The School is run by someone with turtle DNA that's over, like, 100? How? Or the Head of the FBI is a director of The School, or just wtf was up with the Uber-Director from uhh, the Final Warning I think? The one where it just leans HARD into climate crises and Global Warming, and cool, good message, but what happened to the whole Bird Kids Hiding so they don't get Experimented on Again angle? When they're literally putting on aerial shows to raise awareness?

But you wanna know the one thing I HATED on a more personal level? What a surprise from someone who's ace, because it's the motherfuckin Love Story that got shoved in here! Oh no my friends, not just a love Story, it's a Love Triangle

Basically, Book 2 Fang kisses rando and Max gets jealous but is confused because romance? In my survival? Get that shit outta here. Then, a few books later but especially in MAX the Novel (cause that ain't confusing at allll for book 5) Fang peruses Max romantically. Which, uh, a) ace like I said, I was a fan of Max's prioritizing survival because romance did not make sense to prioritize more, and b) Max constantly tells the reader she sees it as a sibling relationship, not romantic. Sure, he's her "right-wing man" but still a brother, so, not a fan of incest either, icked me out that it became a focus, to the point he wears her down and they try dating and just fuck that.

Don't get me wrong, I can like romance, but it's a put-off if it doesn't make sense for the characters, and guess what? It made no sense for Max.

Then, I guess Patterson realised the incest angle was bad so enter Dylan, a new bird kid that was cloned from some dead rando kid that was created, literally, to be Max's Perfect Match, a mad scientist SoulMate if you will, and then they date after Fang fucks off into the sunset.

WHAT

Realise that, outside Fang 'romancing' Max until she caved, Max is definitely the type to, and had continuously, rebel against the machinations of evil scientists, so, wtf?

Meanwhile, if Max had realised that, that scene in book 2 still canon, that she was jealous of Fang kissing red-headed rando girl, well, then we could have gotten a) no incest ick b) rebelliousness in a non-conventional relationship (attempt) c) a major Fuck You to the Evil Scientists and their 'owo perfect bird kids kids' eugenics program (btw Max was still 15 when Dylan's introduced) and d) representation of LGBT+. Boom, mic drop. Plus, from inter-fandom shipping perspective, that's a lot of potential for fanart and even I like fluffy shipping art once in a while. (btw if this inspires people to ship Max and redhead girls from other fandoms I would appreciate links because it is a hill I will die on)

There's more, but that's my biggest gripes

TL;DR Fuck James Patterson for all the wasted potential of this series, and also I headcanon Max Ride to be a lesbian who doesn't realise and has a thing for red-heads.

[eybefioro]

Wacky races - fairly odd parents - powerpuff girls - scooby doo - adventure time - Cowardly dog

(Kanji-less version, timelapse and ramblings under the cut)

ALSO OPEN THE IMAGE TUMBLR KILLED THE QUALITY AS USUAL

I wasn't sure sure which version was better, so here is the one without the ~~menacing~~ kanji! (And sorry. I'm sure the Kanji I did is horrible but I swear I tried my best)

So. Before Good Omens consuming my every awaken thought, the media that lived in my head was JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Because of a certain thing I am working on, my mind end up connecting the two and I HAD to do something about it or else I'd go crazy.

(Cues 3 min time lapse bc i spent -checks app- ALMOST 46 HOURS on this thing. Fuck)

Since JJBA is one of my fixations, at some point I end up watching every single interview with Araki (the author) I could get my hands into, and lo and behold he actually shared about his process quite a bit over the years. We even have access to some timelapses of him working on illustrations!!! I tried to follow a bit of his process, and one VERY interesting characteristic of his work is the JoJo pose – very dramatic covers/panels that showcase the character. He often uses fashion shoots as a references (Araki is very inspired by fashion, architecture and music and there is a million references in his work it's very very interesting and fun) like this:

So there I go on Pinterest looking for a fashion photo that inspires me (Google was shit. What is happening to that search engine?) AND I FOUND IT

YALL. IT WAS LIKE A SHOT RIGHT THROUGH MY BRAIN. I COULD SEE IT SO CLEARLY. Aziraphale and Crowley falling out of heaven together after the second coming. Azi holding him. Crowley giving the middle finger to all those fuckers bc HE GOT HIS ANGEL BACK.

But the thing is... the things is. I'm no artist. I have almost no experience drawing. And this is not exactly an easy pose, and is something pretty ambitious for a beginner like me (I can literally count on my hands the amount of digital drawings I have done. It's all on my blog even lol) so like.... the chances of this going well were very slim. But I am very happy with how it turned out!!

I have to thank @elenthyaolyenths and @gribouli LOTS for that. Elen teached me how wings worked, a bit of anatomy with that, a bit of how she makes those beautiful fluid pieces, Li taught me a bit about colors and light/Shadow. Their support was amazing and they're so so nice to me 🥹

I had so much trouble drawing this bc I'm still learning how digital painting works and how Ibis Paint works. Idk what half of the stuff there does LMAO yk the line work? All in one layer. Don't do that folks. I resized the canvas half way through and had to redo a bit of the line art bc I had to scale it a bit to make the proportions better. Half way in I figured out how to make masks (again, elenthya is an angel for telling me that exists) so I had to learn as I went how that thing works (I still don't know how to use it fully). Ibis Paint froze like 4 times bc my phone can't handle it well LMAO my precision is shit bc I mostly draw with my fingers so I had to gave up control and use the stabiliser on maximum... and so on.

I'm having so much trouble with everything in digital painting BUT IT'S SO MUCH FUN. THERE'S SO MANY POSSIBILITIES. I'm excited to keep going and learn more.

Back to the Jojo style. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I love harsh lines and shadows, the dramatic effects, the detail, the crazy perspectives, the colors... THE WAY ARAKI DRAWS SMOKE AND CLOUDS.

This was my ref for the background, and to represent the heaven Crowley is flipping off and that they're falling from. (fuck this scene in the anime broke me. BUCCIARATI MY BELOVED)

AND THE CLOTHEEEEESSSSS I HAD SO MUCH FUN IMAGINING WHAT THEY'D WEAR IN ARAKI'S STYLE. Obviously Aziraphale is once again sporting something inspired by the crepes look bc omg that was so OVER THE TOP. I'm sure araki would come up with something crazier and more interesting than what I did, but I still think this is a fair shot.

As much as I love JoJo's style I have to say it isn't really an art style made to depict softness. Like. I don't think Araki ever drew something that looks soft. All the characters are slim or super strong, and the few ones that are fat he didn't really... Well. I'm gonna say it. Araki doesn't draw fat people, and when he does I don't think they're a good depiction. As I said he doesn't do softeness lol nothing looks soft in his style, not even fabric I think. It's all sharp lines, dark shadows (again, I love it but yeah) and thin (or extremely big in the first parts) people. This fits really well with Crowley but not so much with Aziraphale. If this was a pose that showed more of him I'd probably not do a great job at it. I think I'd need to go heavy on trying to make his clothes look soft and big to try to make it better.

Now WwwwwiiiIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGZZZZZZZ!!!! Elen is such a magician at drawing wings. I can't believe she actually offered to help me with this one. I learned so much. I was taking inspiration from her work, I wanted to make them BIG and GLORIOUS as she does and I think I succeeded a bit at it (they're not as fluid and perfect as hers, obviously, but I think they still look nice.)

As she was explaining to me how the anatomy works and all we ended up talking about how they're like arms and the digits in bats and I decided to give Crowley that type of wings. I also discovered that Elenthya used to draw DRAGONS. DRAGONS YALL. SHE GAVE ME A DOODLE OF ONE AND IT'S SO AMAIZNG. So together with the bat wings I tried to give him some drangon-esque feel. And she also gave me the idea to make Crowley's wings more damaged, to give more weight to the drawing - Aziraphale helping him not to fall again, holding him in the descend.

Anyway. I talked too much already and no one has the patience for this lol I just like to register the process of me learning things. It's fun.

[a-ghost-of-a-good-mood]

I finally got diagnosed with ADHD at 32, after a bad breakdown where I missed 2 whole weeks of classes because I lost almost all the things that kept me in check and feeling secure and cared for (last year's friends, teachers, schedule, swimming lessons, meds losing the brain side effect, commuting added 1 extra hour going from 3 to 4 hrs) so after the anxiety and depression, I just went into "Instant gratification" mode and spend day after day reading fanfic in bed, wrapped in my coziest blankets, forgot to even eat or drink water some days, I couldn't leave the house either, I was as if I was trapped inside my brain and my unmovable body... I was saddening tbh...

So I got dragged to a psychiatrist and well... Here we have, a ADHD diagnosis...

To think that a good chunk of my life got fucked up because of ADHD (cuz, what I mentioned before has happened before many times, I just got dismissed by family and random people as being lazy and uncaring of the efforts made by my parents to pay for my education), because I made impulse driven decisions of leaving things unfinished, when I couldn't cope with the growing stress of everything I my brain just ran away into more pleasant activities and I couldn't stop .

I've been living my life trying my hardest to be normal, to behave like a normal functional adult, wanting to be normal like everyone else, but I just learned that'll never happen, it could have never happened, cuz my brain developed differently cuz I inherited fucked up genes for my dad (again!)

And I know this is not an illness, but to me in particular, is a very real health issue that has lead me to destroy my life time and time again and right now I am very unhappy and pissed at myself and I feel wrong and I also have to catch up on all my missing classes, and I also have zero will and energy to make acquittances with my new classmates I just go non verbal until a teacher asks me something, and I also feel very awkward cuz I don't know what to do with my body and my facial gesticulations.

And above all this.... I just want to be the same person I was last year, strong, dependable, racing brain to solve issues in creative ways, to process and integrate knowledge fast, to talk with everyone with a confident voice, pouring my respect and care to everyone and specially for my friends/found fam, to know I was a bit different than the rest but still feel comfortable enough to show it in an empowering light.

I rn, am just trash, a corpse trying to get afloat in my own terrible storm. Trying to accept a diagnosis and wishing that one day I'll be able to forgive myself for fucking up my life, for being born with ADHD condition and I don't know when that'll be, or when I'll be able to live with the condition in a functional way, when I'll learn to thrive...

I just wanted to live a simple life, fall in love with a dependable person who'll love me back without an ounce of doubt and we'll age together, but now I'm not sure if anyone would want the burden I represent, I feel more unlovable that ever...

[thefallenangelsgang]

PTSD nightmares are... a nightmare (ba dum tssss) (I'm coping with comedy)

(gen Trigger Warning, I don't get into my trauma but I bitch about how my brain processes it)

I hate the nonsensical nature of them, I hate that they package my trauma in an abstract form (no no no you don't get to recollect the things that traumatized you, you get to experience the fear and anxiety in new fun ways!), and I hate that they always wake me up at inconvenient times. It's 4 am, my heart is racing, and I'm triggered. I just want to go to bed.

One of the worst parts but also my saving grace (real double edged sword here jfc) is that I almost exclusively lucid dream. Over the years its gotten less pronounced, I used to manually control my dreams a LOT as a kid, but I still can if I need to. Nowadays I'm more likely to let a narrative play out. It is important though that I am choosing not to interact with the dream. I retain some sense of control which makes it fun when the logic breaks and my brain goes "excuse me!" and fixes it in real time but very much NOT FUN when I'm experiencing horrors and I am in control of myself (or whatever character I am playing) (one fun time I was Ryan Reynolds but that's a story about my not normal arachnophobia and the inherent strangeness of a overcast suburban neighborhood)

It seems though my brain has adapted over the years. It sounds ridiculous but the dreams have gotten narratively more- not logical but reasonable. I could read a short story about my dreams and understand the plot and setting even if its a story about a residential development (that kinda looks like my grandmother's neighborhood) surrounded by impossibly high, sheer concrete walls. And we aren't talking like hehe 8ft walls you see in idk a prison. We're talking hundreds of feet tall and wide. I could read that and get real stupid and salivate over themes and shit. Cause yeah, the theme is feeling TRAPPED and that there is no ESCAPE and my brain is using chemical warfare in the literal sense TO HURT ME

Lucid dreaming also makes the nightmares worse because I can dissect that shit in real time. I can go "mmmm this is giving me anxiety and I think I know why (:" while I can feel my heart racing out of my chest.

The one saving grace is that I can force myself awake if need be and usually my brain will automatically do it if shit's getting wild (ie I am in danger of crying in the middle of the night like I'm 6 again) but then I end up sitting in the dark (cause my pupils are dilated to hell from fear(dark flavored) so I can't turn on my lights) at 4 am, triggered and only getting more triggered by sitting in the dark alone with my thoughts.

So let's go to Tumblr and rant about trauma until the images of those fucking Clowns(?) gets out of my brain. (I don't have clown trauma? I've never had clown trauma? I also don't have home invasion trauma but that was more a metaphor for loss of control. Still confused why clowns were involved. Also confused why my brain chose to make the setting SciFi dystopia but here we are)

(also these weren't like neon stupid wig and lots of face paint clowns. These were like mime/street performer esque clowns, far more understated. Normal people doing clown shit (had a great shot of one doing a card trick outside a window that I should kick over to my film friends) with a lil classic clown make up. YOU KNOW THAT ROBIN WILLIAMS PHOTO OF HIM AS A STREET MIME, FUCKING THAT)

(I REALLY JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP)

[hoteadepresso]

okay so hear me out

back when I was 14 I was going through my Percy Jackson obsession (how did I think I was straight is beyond me lmao) 

but anyways, if you know the series you probably remember the Cupid scene in House of Hades 

And tonight I had a sudden flashback of that scene and it occured to me how many Byler parallels there are, and the whole scene feels like something that could potentially happen in season 5, and some of the tropes are eerily similar

some things parallel Byler scenes that have already happened in season 4, so I will try to point them all out  

(spoilers for House of Hades by Rick Riordan below!) 

okay, to summarize, in House of Hades Nico and Jason end up on a mission together, and to complete it they must get an artefact they need to defeat Gaea. In the process they must defeat Cupid (more like get him to surrender actually), and Cupid forces Nico to share his deepest secret, and Jason witnesses it all. So before I start, I would like you to keep in mind that this is just a loose interpretation of my Byler infested brain, because I love finding similar motifs in pieces of media and Nico di Angelo was at one point almost as dear to me as Mike Wheeler is now (though in this particular piece the similarities are more so between Nico and Will, but I could definitely pin some parts to Mike as well) 

here goes: 

[“Cupid,” Jason called, “where are you?”

The voice laughed. It definitely didn’t sound like a cute baby angel’s. It sounded deep and rich, but also threatening—like a tremor before a major earthquake.

Where you least expect me, Cupid answered. As Love always is.

Something slammed into Jason and hurled him across the street. He toppled down a set of steps and sprawled on the floor of an excavated Roman basement.]

So this is just an intro, but we already have a sentence thay corresponds with Byler. Maybe it’s a bit cheesy, but still true. 

[I would think you’d know better, Jason Grace. Cupid’s voice whirled around him. You’ve found true love, after all. Or do you still doubt yourself?]

Now while for the most part here Jason parallels Jonathan, this particular line makes me think of Vecna possibly using Mike’s conflicting feelings and guilt about El to torment him. That would work in a scenario where they do not break up at the beginning of season 5 immediately, and prolonging the situation Mike is in at the end of s4 could make an opportunity for Vecna to use it against him like this. 

But that’s only a side comment, I still think it fits Jonathan better, considering the situation with Nancy, and Jonthan’s struggles when it comes to what the future has in store for the two of them.

[Nico scrambled down the steps. “You okay?” Jason accepted his hand and got to his feet. “Yeah. Just sucker punched.”

Oh, did you expect me to play fair? Cupid laughed. I am the god of love. I am never fair.]

again, a bit on the nose, but here I would like to refer to the breakfast scene in season 3, the “I’m not gonna fall in love”, scene. 

To me it’s not even what Will says, because we know he was most likely already in love with Mike at that point, so he probably doesn’t mean it literally. 

The way he says it, however, is what makes me put this reference here. His voice is dejected, like he has given up hope on ever being happy and having someone whom he is in love with, because he thinks he is not allowed to be in love, that there is no happy ending for someone like him (and here, a honorary FUCK LONNIE BYERS is in order I believe). 

So yeah, love isn’t fair, especially to a gay boy in the 80s, in Indiana.

[This time, Jason’s senses were on high alert. He felt the air ripple just as an arrow materialized, racing toward Nico’s chest. Jason intercepted it with his sword and deflected it sideways. The arrow exploded against the nearest wall, peppering them with limestone shrapnel. They ran up the steps. Jason pulled Nico to one side as another gust of wind toppled a column that would have crushed him flat.

“Is this guy Love or Death?” Jason growled.

Ask your friends, Cupid said. Frank, Hazel, and Percy met my counterpart, Thanatos. We are not so different. Except Death is sometimes kinder.]

so, this part here. Now I do not think Will is suicidal or something like that. However, I do believe Vecna might use the “putting you out of your misery” manipulation tactic if he curses/posesess Will. You know, good old tormenting with visions of Mike hating him, being disgusted with him, never reciprocating his feelings etc., and then when he’s broken, this tactic. Idk, maybe I’m reaching, but it’s still a valid line when it comes to their storyline.

[“We just want the scepter!” Nico shouted. “We’re trying to stop Gaea. Are you on the gods’ side or not?” A second arrow hit the ground between Nico’s feet and glowed white-hot. Nico stumbled back as the arrow burst into a geyser of flame. Love is on every side, Cupid said. And no one’s side. Don’t ask what Love can do for you. “Great,” Jason said. “Now he’s spouting greeting card messages.” Movement behind him: Jason spun, slicing his sword through the air. His blade bit into something solid. He heard a grunt and he swung again, but the invisible god was gone. On the paving stones, a trail of golden ichor shimmered—the blood of the gods. Very good, Jason, Cupid said. At least you can sense my presence. Even a glancing hit at true love is more than most heroes manage. “So now I get the scepter?” Jason asked. Cupid laughed. Unfortunately, you could not wield it. Only a child of the Underworld can summon the dead legions. And only an officer of Rome can lead them. “But…” Jason wavered. He was an officer. He was praetor. Then he remembered all his second thoughts about where he belonged. In New Rome, he’d offered to give up his position to Percy Jackson. Did that make him unworthy to lead a legion of Roman ghosts? He decided to face that problem when the time came. “Just leave that to us,” he said. “Nico can summon—” The third arrow zipped by Jason’s shoulder. He couldn’t stop it in time. Nico gasped as it sunk into his sword arm. “Nico!” The son of Hades stumbled. The arrow dissolved, leaving no blood and no visible wound, but Nico’s face was tight with rage and pain. “Enough games!” Nico shouted. “Show yourself!”

It is a costly thing, Cupid said, looking on the true face of Love.]

okay, for this one, I want you to think about the van scene, car talk scene, but also Will’s POV in season 4 in general, but not only Will’s, it applies heavily to Mike as well. 

“Sometimes I thing it’s just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Especially to people you care about the most. Because what if... what if they don’t like the truth?”

To be vulnerable, to face your true feelings, you have to be prepared to pay the price, because you have no guarantee your feelings will be returned, or even accepted. Will is afraid of opening up about his real feelings to Mike, and Mike is not only afraid of his feelings for Will, he is also afraid of facing El and telling her the truth about his feelings, and it reflects both in the scene in the junkyard but also in the scene in the desert, when Mike looks between Will and El and you can clearly see the “how am I going to tell her?” expression on his face. Because I believe at that point he has accepted it, but it didn’t solve anything. 

Also, I strongly believe that Mike is terrified of losing El as a friend. I think he is convinced that if he isn’t “useful” to her as a boyfriend, he has no “use” to her at all, and that he will lose her completely, and that is probably even though he is aware of his real feelings, he is holding on to trying to fix things between them, because he is not fighting for a girlfriend anymore, he is fighting for one of his platonic soulmates, someone with whom he has a profound bond. 

Will pays his price too, lying about the painting. He pays the price of love for Mike, who needs to understand how important he is to people who love him, and he pays the price of the love for his sister. He has their best interests at heart, even if it means his heart will bleed out. 

[Another column toppled. Jason scrambled out of its way. My wife Psyche learned that lesson, Cupid said. She was brought here eons ago, when this was the site of my palace. We met only in the dark. She was warned never to look upon me, and yet she could not stand the mystery. She feared I was a monster. One night, she lit a candle, and beheld my face as I slept. “Were you that ugly?” Jason thought he had zeroed in on Cupid’s voice—at the edge of the amphitheater about twenty yards away—but he wanted to make sure. The god laughed. I was too handsome, I’m afraid. A mortal cannot gaze upon the true appearance of a god without suffering consequences. My mother, Aphrodite, cursed Psyche for her distrust. My poor lover was tormented, forced into exile, given horrible tasks to prove her worth. She was even sent to the Underworld on a quest to show her dedication. She earned her way back to my side, but she suffered greatly. Now I’ve got you, Jason thought. He thrust his sword in the sky and thunder shook the valley. Lightning blasted a crater where the voice had been speaking. Silence. Jason was just thinking, Dang, it actually worked, when an invisible force knocked him to the ground. His sword skittered across the road. A good try, Cupid said, his voice already distant. But Love cannot be pinned down so easily. Next to him, a wall collapsed. Jason barely managed to roll aside.

“Stop it!” Nico yelled. “It’s me you want. Leave him alone!” 

Jason’s ears rang. He was dizzy from getting smacked around. His mouth tasted like limestone dust. He didn’t understand why Nico would think of himself as the main target, but Cupid seemed to agree. ]

Only a small remark here, but I can definitely see Will puting himself between Vecna and the others in season 5, especially since I believe Will in fact, is Vecna’s main focus at the moment. (im a Will has powers truther)

[Poor Nico di Angelo. The god’s voice was tinged with disappointment. Do you know what you want, much less what I want? My beloved Psyche risked everything in the name of Love. It was the only way to atone for her lack of faith. And you—what have you risked in my name?

“I’ve been to Tartarus and back,” Nico snarled. “You don’t scare me.” I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest.]

Tartarus = Upside Down, Mind Flayer, etc.

And yet there are other demons Will must face, not only the interdimensional evil. And those demons might prove more difficult to deal with, especially if he’s alone with it.

[Jason pulled himself up. All around Nico, the ground shifted. The grass withered, and the stones cracked as if something was moving in the earth beneath, trying to push its way through. “Give us Diocletian’s scepter,” Nico said. “We don’t have time for games.”

Games? Cupid struck, slapping Nico sideways into a granite pedestal. Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work—a quest that never ends. It demands everything from you—especially the truth. Only then does it yield rewards.]

Here let’s think back to the van scene. Will confesses his feelings in a veiled way, lying about the painting and projecting his own thoughts and feelings onto El. 

We can safely assume that resolving this and Will confessing the truth about the painting will be a big part of the Byler arc in season 5. Only after they both know the truth they will have a chance at moving forward and building a relationship.

[Jason retrieved his sword. If this invisible guy was Love, Jason was beginning to think Love was overrated. He liked Piper’s version better—considerate, kind, and beautiful. Aphrodite he could understand. Cupid seemed more like a thug, an enforcer. “Nico,” he called, “what does this guy want from you?”

Tell him, Nico di Angelo, Cupid said. Tell him you are a coward, afraid of yourself and your feelings. Tell him the real reason you ran from Camp Half-Blood, and why you are always alone.

Nico let loose a guttural scream. The ground at his feet split open and skeletons crawled forth—dead Romans with missing hands and caved-in skulls, cracked ribs, and jaws unhinged. Some were dressed in the remnants of togas. Others had glinting pieces of armor hanging off their chests. Will you hide among the dead, as you always do? Cupid taunted.]

 I don’t think this needs any particular analysis from me. This could be many things, but in general, another way for Vecna to torment Will. Maybe he will use that when faced with both Mike and Will, forcing Will to confess and then we see some sort of horrible, heart-wrenching reaction from Mike and we find out it was a vision all along, making Will believe that this is really how Mike reacted, etc.

[Waves of darkness rolled off the son of Hades. When they hit Jason, he almost lost consciousness—overwhelmed by hatred and fear and shame…

Images flashed through his mind. He saw Nico and his sister on a snowy cliff in Maine, Percy Jackson protecting them from a manticore. Percy’s sword gleamed in the dark. He’d been the first demigod Nico had ever seen in action.

Later, at Camp Half-Blood, Percy took Nico by the arm, promising to keep his sister Bianca safe. Nico believed him. Nico looked into his sea-green eyes and thought, How can he possibly fail? This is a real hero. He was Nico’s favorite game, Mythomagic, brought to life.

Jason saw the moment when Percy returned and told Nico that Bianca was dead. Nico had screamed and called him a liar. He’d felt betrayed, but still…when the skeleton warriors attacked, he couldn’t let them harm Percy. Nico had called on the earth to swallow them up, and then he’d run away—terrified of his own powers, and his own emotions.

Jason saw a dozen more scenes like this from Nico’s point of view.… And they left him stunned, unable to move or speak.

Meanwhile, Nico’s Roman skeletons surged forward and grappled with something invisible. The god struggled, flinging the dead aside, breaking off ribs and skulls, but the skeletons kept coming, pinning the god’s arms. Interesting! Cupid said. Do you have the strength, after all?]

Okay, a lot to unpack here, but first let’s notice the way we see this through Jason’s POV, and I think it’s a very direct parallel to Jonathan hearing the van conversation and seeing Will crying, then noticing Will looking at Mike and El flirting, not to mention simply knowing Will all his life and having noticed how Will was around Mike through the years. 

Then we have those particular scenes where we see Percy through Nico’s lens. He is his hero his heart, someone who protected him from harm, someone who made Nico feel safe, someone he trusted completely. 

Then we see that even when Percy hurt him, betrayed his trust in a way, Nico still can’t bring himself to hurt him back, he protects him even then.

Those are all very direct parallels to how Will perceives Mike. 

And while admittedly, Percy is a more “obvious” and “literal” hero than Mike, it doesn’t change anything. 

To Will, Mike is a real hero. He was the one who stood between him and bullies, who offered warmth and shelter when Lonnie still lived with them, who made Will feel good for being different. Mike doesn’t need to yield a literal sword to be Will’s Paladin. His heart and his love are his greatest weapons.

He was Nico’s favorite game, Mythomagic, brought to life.

Ring any bells? 

[“I left Camp Half-Blood because of love,” Nico said. “Annabeth…she—”

Still hiding, Cupid said, smashing another skeleton to pieces. You do not have the strength.]

Here we have the painting, again.

Annabeth is Percy’s girlfriend and love interest all through the series. 

Here we see Nico trying to evade the full truth, trying to make it seem as if it was Annabeth that he had feelings for. 

And we can interpret it in two ways, depending whether we apply this to Will or to Mike. 

This part makes me think of Mike more, of the way that he tries to hold onto El, not ready/too afraid to admit who it is that he truly loves. 

If we look at it considering Will, obviously he doesn’t use El to imply it was her he has feelings for, he does use her however to tell a half-truth to Mike in the van. 

They both seem to be talking in code, seemingly refering to El while actually thinking about each other. 

[“Nico,” Jason managed to say, “it’s okay. I get it.”

Nico glanced over, pain and misery washing across his face. “No, you don’t,” he said. “There’s no way you can understand.” And so you run away again, Cupid chided. From your friends, from yourself.

“I don’t have friends!” Nico yelled. “I left Camp Half-Blood because I don’t belong! I’ll never belong!”

The skeletons had Cupid pinned now, but the invisible god laughed so cruelly that Jason wanted to summon another bolt of lightning. Unfortunately, he doubted he had the strength. “Leave him alone, Cupid,” Jason croaked. “This isn’t…” His voice failed. He wanted to say it wasn’t Cupid’s business, but he realized this was exactly Cupid’s business. Something Favonius said kept buzzing in his ears: Are you shocked? The story of Psyche finally made sense to him—why a mortal girl would be so afraid. Why she would risk breaking the rules to look the god of love in the face, because she feared he might be a monster.

Psyche had been right. Cupid was a monster. Love was the most savage monster of all.

Nico’s voice was like broken glass. “I—I wasn’t in love with Annabeth.”

“You were jealous of her,” Jason said. “That’s why you didn’t want to be around her. Especially why you didn’t want to be around…him. It makes total sense.”

All the fight and denial seemed to go out of Nico at once. The darkness subsided. The Roman dead collapsed into bones and crumbled to dust.

“I hated myself,” Nico said. “I hated Percy Jackson.”]

So here we have the pizza place talk between Jon and Will. While not as explicit and upfront as the one between Jason and Nico, it still holds similar weight of understanding, reassurance and support.

And the “not wanting to be around them” part? Will sat in the front as they were driving to Indiana, because he couldn’t handle sitting in the back next to Mike and El, not after Mike’s monologue.

[Cupid became visible—a lean, muscular young man with snowy white wings, straight black hair, a simple white frock and jeans. The bow and quiver slung over his shoulder were no toys—they were weapons of war. His eyes were as red as blood, as if every Valentine in the world had been squeezed dry, distilled into one poisonous mixture. His face was handsome, but also harsh—as difficult to look at as a spotlight. He watched Nico with satisfaction, as if he’d identified the exact spot for his next arrow to make a clean kill.

“I had a crush on Percy,” Nico spat. “That’s the truth. That’s the big secret.”

He glared at Cupid. “Happy now?”

For the first time, Cupid’s gaze seemed sympathetic. “Oh, I wouldn’t say Love always makes you happy.” His voice sounded smaller, much more human. “Sometimes it makes you incredibly sad. But at least you’ve faced it now. That’s the only way to conquer me.”

Cupid dissolved into the wind.]

While obviously Vecna doesn’t want Will or anyone else to conquer him, he does feed on secrets, lonliness, shame and guilt. So of course he is most likely to target people suffering from those things, such as Will naturally but I strongly believe he might target Mike specifically, because he will know it’s the best way to hurt and manipulate Will and El. 

I rest my case. I hope it’s at least somewhat coherent, I’m insane for Byler and sleep deprived. 

Lemme know what you think! 

[a-gal-with-taste]

Underappreciated Screenshots | Part 5

Seriously going to just scream about how so many shots in this show are museum-worthy, it's insane.

Oh, and Silco.

Gonna be about screaming about the show-visuals and Silco, as normal

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

The coin-glint, I can't-

Also, I am going to make a whole-post about Silco during episode 3 and his expression/mindset during this episode, but look at his face.

It's screaming 'I just killed one of my ex-friends in a brutal fashion and I'm also kidnapping the man I considered my Brother, whose probably also going to die brutally later today, and I have zero regrets about either, but still...'

And also 'literally, stfu Marcus,' at the same time.

Man's over-emoting can multi-task, gotta give him a 10/10 for it.

Speaking of 'stfu Marcus' shots-

But for real, the WALK in this scene screams power, screams elegance and rightfully so. Since this is HIS turf and he's gonna strunt around like the man of the house that he is.

Urgh. Move out of the way, Marcus, I want to see him just walking around >:(

🚨Child-Alert🚨

Throwing these together because... look.

Look at it

The use of storm/lightning in this show is so rarely used, but they did not miss a single mark with using it here, to illuminate his fight for survival, his last frantic move to cling to life while actively dying in this scene. It's like every flash is another beat of his slowing-brain, flickering still with life to grab that knife and fight.

Just... going to stare it for a bit longer.

Also, hands.

Definitely one of his more personal monologues, and also one of the best usages of depth/foreground vs background. How they literally have the water rolling off his fingertips, with him transfixed in the waters that almost killed him... AND you get a storm? Just- 👌

...

Also, hands-

LITERALLY a single-frame, but... c'mon.

The blue clouds, reaching and racing and a SECOND away from obliteration?

His widening-eyes exactly a frame later is probably my favorite close-up shot in the entire show, but this one is just so chaotic and perfect, and the blue-clouds is just, again... 👌

Something about his introduction to the kids, as ominous, and villainous as it is, kinda cracks me up. Because if you listen to it, his claps are just off-beat. Idk why that makes me laugh, but they're just a second too-long in between and it makes me giggle because, he's such a drama-queen.

"You... 👏 fell... 👏 for... 👏 my trap... 👏"

I could listen to Silco say 'candidly' all day and never get bored but that aside, I love two things about this shot:

1: Even here, even in the scene where he's basically poised as Vi's final-boss fight villain, they show the tooth-gap. It's adorably human, in a scene that's all dark and menacing, cloaked in shadow and glowing in the Shimmer that he uses to destroy, but they still show one of his most human flaws in this scene, and it's a nice touch.

2: it's the fact that he ACTUALLY looks confused by his past-self. For thinking Vi was the golden-child of Vander's family unit, for ever believing that Violet was the real prize. Like, 'wait, did I actually believe that? There was a time that I legitimately thought this girl, a Vander 2.0, could outmatch my daughter? How foolish of me.'

Just, again, the animators pulled NO punches and spared ZERO expenses, and I love them for it 👌

[ppersonna]

out of my league - knj | 01

you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums

✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 6.6k

✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy

✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff

✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!

MASTERLIST

Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.

You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.

You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.

You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.

“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”

The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’

Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.

You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.

As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.

You don’t understand where things went wrong.

( one month ago )

It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.

The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.

The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.

You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.

You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.

You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.

Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults. 

Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-

“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”

Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.

“It’s fine!”

“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”

He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.

Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.

You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.

Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow. 

“What’s got you so perky this morning?” 

You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.

You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.

You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”

Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.

“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.

Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”

You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead. 

“Why?”

Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.

“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”

“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”

He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”

You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”

Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.

It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.

jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!

You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.

Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.

“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.

“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.

“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.

You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”

Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”

You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?

“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”

Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness. 

“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”

What an asshole.

“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”

Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”

At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.

“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”

You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”

Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”

You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”

Jungkook snorts. 

“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”

“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.

“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”

Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.

Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”

You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”

Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag. 

“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”

You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams. 

“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”

Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.

Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”

Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”

Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.

( present day )

The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.

You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.

A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.

“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”

Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.

You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.

“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”

It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.

They will suffer. 

“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”

You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words. 

“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Jimin sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.

He growls and balls his fists. 

“Jungkook knew.”

You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”

You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.

“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”

Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.

You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.

You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares. 

Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.

You could do this.

You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.

At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.

You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.

The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.

No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.

Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.

“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

You swallow and search for an answer. 

“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

Namjoon grimaces. 

“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.

“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”

Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.

“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”

It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.

“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”

For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.

“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”

“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.

“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.

Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.

The next few days aren’t much better.

Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.

Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.

You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.

“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.

You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”

He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”. 

You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.

He continues. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”

You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.

“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.

“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”

He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”

You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”

Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.

“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”

You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”

“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”

“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.

“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”

“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.

“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?” 

His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”

“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.

With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.

A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.

Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.

It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.

The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.

You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.

There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.

Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.

You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.

"Look at her," the voice states.

You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.

“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”

Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches. 

Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.

“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”

Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.

“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”

Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.

You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.

“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”

The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic. 

Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help. 

His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.  

“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?” 

You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply. 

“Yes, I would l-love that.” 

His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away. 

“I’ll email you the details, okay?”

Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.

The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.

“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.

The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.

Email from: Kim Namjoon

Sent: 3:06 pm

Subject: Hey good lookin ;)

Hey! 

Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.

Let me know!

Xoxo, Joon

You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.

The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.

You re-read the message, over and over and over.  

The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.

Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.

As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.  

The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.

Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.

“Oh, shit,” you gasp. 

The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”

Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.

“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”

Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”

You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.

“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”

Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”

Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”

Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.

“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”

Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.

“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”

Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.

“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.

Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.

“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”

“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.

Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.

“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?” 

Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes. 

“I’ll find out, baby.”

Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.

Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.

Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.

He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.

“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.

Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.  

“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.” 

“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”

Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.

Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.

Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.  

He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off. 

By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.

All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.

It’s what fuels you through work.

You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.

The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.

Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.  

He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.

He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.

“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.

Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.

“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”

Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.

Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.

Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.

“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”

Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.

“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.

“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.

Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.

“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”

Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.

“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.

Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”

tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer​ 

[paeonie-s]

 csm first half op + eds ranking hehe

op 1: KICK BACK tbh wasnt a massive fan of the song when i came out but its grown on me w the full context & lyrics it slayed idc NOW THE VISUALS ... filled me w euphoria when i first saw it have (re)watched half the fucking movies referenced ONLY BC MIDTERMS WAS BEATING MY ASS .. so creative and fun and dynamic and hectic as fuck the timing and directing on this is like incomprehensibly good. its funny asf and has such beautiful lively enviornments and lighting and such a cohesive feel despite how batshit everything is NO ONE HAS TALKED ABT THE SHOT W THE MOUNTAINS AND SKY AND THE BULLETS. AM I THE ONLY OEN WHOSE INSANE ABT THAT ONE. so so beautiful literally a look into the minds of fujimoto and the ani staff and a gift upon this earth. 10/10

ed 1: SUCH A GOOD SONG !!!!!!! fit super well w the end of the first ep & is just genuinely such a banger. credits roll was smart for the airing of the actual ep, helped me take in the whole ep and appreciate the best parts of it. the mv released on mappas channel is rly solid considering it just recycled scenes from the actual ep !! love first half of the vid + the zoom in on pochitas tail the most ofc !! 6/10 bc the song is a banger but its just no as obsessable bc of the lack of og visuals :(

ed 2: GORGEOUSSS VISUALS tho it doesn’t feel v well aligned w the tone of csm BUT STILL !!!! song aligns super well w the visuals atleast & i love love the look of the animation, the environments especially are so beautiful 😭 i think the denji falling into the sky scene were especially well timed w the music and made me v emo about his character. esp love the hayakawa fam focus and how power is literally the one who PULLS HIM BACK DOWN .. beloveds 7.5/10 ok i like it picasso

ed 3: FAVE SONG its so good. so much to say abt this one rapid change of scene linework shading color sfx is fucking insane each unique aes makes me physically ill its so good. so gripping the TRANSITION from makima goddess to hayakawa fam W THE DOOR. AND THE TRAUMA. fave part is the hayakawa family shots towards the end that combined w the lyrics perfectly encapsulates what csm is thematically to me. goretastic insanity used as a means of making the intensely human obviously doomed connections at the heart of the story that much more impactful. fully embraces the best parts of csm and rips my heart out all in the course of 90 seconds 10/10 idc idc

ed 4: POWAAA !!!! song is such a fucking banger i mean it this shit has had me dancing for weeks BUT THE VISUALS .... so dynamic and insane love how they played dress up w her and also made sure the audience knew she was a lil freak. theres so much to love and appreciate about the visuals and how fucking sick the movements are and the colors but truly this ones just vibes. 9/10

ed 5: fs my FAVE of all the ones currently out (i think this is the most popular opinion lmao) but the combination of the frantic, very dense visuals and a rly cool fast paced song scratched smth in my brain. so much inspiration to dig through and BEAUTIFUL use of colors, lighting, and effects animation omg. Those shots of himeno are stapled on the inside of my eyelids i love them. so many art references w/ a great selection to specifically represent the chaos of the eternity devil love the use of optical illusions (ONCE AGAIN W THE LIGHTING !!!) and use of timing to create a jarring effect (horses running in slo mo (same w some shots of the chs) immediately being contrasted w rapid movement/blinking of eyes, fireworks, shots of the sky w the clouds racing across) as well as the rapid changing of one shot to another is so insane. another detail i love is that it has a almost collage like look bc each background/piece of ch or effects animation has dif linework, uses dif brushes, as well very unique lighting and shading. also so so much to dissect w how it foreshadows later events (if u start looking there are like. 4 dif instances of guns in this bitch holy fuck) and the themes of the work as a whole but i have classes a life etc that will have to wait til winter break. so genuinely obsessed w this one it was literally the one that convinced me (most obnoxious csm fan) that mappa knows exactly what theyre doing and are likely making the actual anime the way they are as a deliberate commitment to make it even more insane later down the line. i am a drastic rapid tonal shifts enjoyer i love this ed 10/10 its my gf

ed 6: not a massive fan of the visuals or the song for this one :( the instrumental of the song felt kinda jarring after the sequence of denji jumping into the eternity devils mouth, i was def expecting a dif kind of vibe. the visuals were cool, but i don't feel like the static characters were used particularly well. some of the transitions and “camera” movements also rly didn't feel very well suited to the cuts they were in. my fave part was the settings and backgrounds, especially the textures and the way the movement “through” the bgs were done, tho the 5th ed had a very similar concept and i think executed it better. kind of disappointing with how much i enjoyed the prev eds, but it was still enjoyable to watch and analyze how they constructed the visuals. 4/10 bc i respect what they were trying to do i just dont think they had the time to develop a unique vision

[billario18]

Bill Newton's birthday and age theory.

Sigh, back to my all-time favorite mechanic and prfessional driver. My brain cannot stop reminding on him almost everyday, I need to take a break, but not today. Let me tell the whole information about Bill for huge explanation, bend it over here...

About 4 months ago, I had made the solution/calculation to get Bill's actual age by putting the day and month of his birthday, that is 18 and 10. I decided to combine them to 28 as his former age [C = 28] Then drag the year when was HCR2 made [D = 2016], minus with his former age, and...he is not even born on 1988 [E = 1988], step away from his former birthyear. What if I include one thing... Just figured that I had to make the formula to solve the number, A for Bill's birthday on upper fraction, while B is for the date when was HCR2 made. (e.g. A1:A2 = 18:10, B1:B2 = 6:10) Next, divide into another, the result is 3 [F = 3] only number can change final result of Bill's age. At last point, I put his former birthyear minus with the number from [A1/B1 * A2/B2 = F] and TADA...! Final result is 1985, so it means he was born on 1985, and his only chinese zodiac is Ox, too.

Let's move on to the racing permit of Bill, which from the Official Fingersoft image source on Instagram and their Fandom Wiki. This makes me feel curious what did he really want to reveal himself.

See? What was wrong with only short information? I feel like he doesn't like to open to people at all (like me) the one he wrote "hates: everything else" is a lie. Just the point that he does not want to know his weakness, fears, even though what make he hate. I had made some observation around the Hill Climb Racing 2 cup races' title about months I had played before. I hinted the "I Hate Water" pretty sure that he does not like to get soaked by raining weather, splashed by the wheel of a car. And the obvious one title "Thalassophobia" means he has fear of drowning. Imagine what if he does not know the way guide to somewhere, then drove straight away to the bridge, until his car getting down to the ocean, likewise, this part of Bill Newton's weakness could be a hidden info outside the Racing Permit.

Additionally, the strange part in his birth of date, it made me want to search the number of tarot card. Some number is way related to their meaning in each decks (I meant, cards) Number 18 is related to the Moon, their meaning can be: imagination, darkness, mysterious, unseen, and wondering of its own. There was many words to say on Bill that he might avoid his feelings and hurt inside, it sounds similar to the context of Moon tarot card, which compare to the sea, and the crayfish/lobster float on, this is him trying to say something but no one else listens. This could possibly make Bill get sick and get the lunatic act (e.g. feeling mad) the howling domesticated dog and wolf is what Bill express out there. These explanation is this paragraph is unexpectable, I was not realized until I get solved why his birth of date is 18, and the number can reflects his true person. Next, his birth of month is October, the word Octo- from Latin and Greek mean eight, but the October is the tenth month, which means his birth of date is combined from the tenth month with word Octo- [eight] then again, another calculation from Finland's Independence Day [6th December(12)] is also included.

Thanks for reading my theory I like to share, have a great day!

drafted from aNotepad: 12:20 AM (+7 GMT), 17/12/2022

posted: 10:30 PM, 18/12/2022

[purityoflust]

The Smile [Jeff The Killer X Victim!Reader] [PART 2]

Jeff the killer X Victim!

WARNING: Yandere. That's it. Yandere.

I finally decided how I would write part 2 to The Smile, which is my first and most popular post on my account so far. Anyone new who has come to read this, check out my other posts as well if you'd like. I'll post more like this. I also have a Quotev account with more fanfictions.

9/12/20, 3/4 days after the top part: God, AFTER SO LONG, I FINALLY DID IT! Took me days! I'm so sorry if this is a bit lazy, it is a tiny bit rushed by the end but how would you guys feel about a detailed part 3? I'll probably go as far as a part 3 or part 4 for the final part.

The vibrations in your brain felt warm and numbing - almost like when you have a horrible migraine and you can finally feel it subsiding with your eyes closed and your fingers gently holding down onto your eyelids as if you're holding your eyes into place to prevent them from bursting out of your skull. Upon waking up you can feel cold air settling into your skin. You haven't been awake 3 minutes and you already know what you're resting on; an extremely uncomfortable metal table. You've only seen them in movies but this was real.

The sound of a singsong voice just slightly echoing through what seemed like a moderately empty room. You groaned softly as you turned your head to your right, very slowly opening your eyes. Your vision blurred in and out, which, you wanted to rub to clear it out but as you went to lift your wrists, you felt pressure around them.

Something was holding your arms down. This catches your attention, blinking multiple times while turning your head back up straight and attempting to sit up. You were hardly successful with that, struggling while grunting under your breath to pull your hands from under what seemed to be a thick rope. As you pulled harder, you sucked in your stomach out of habit before immediately coming to a halt and choking up in pain.

This whole time you were ignoring the voice that was singing eerily nearby, "You and me, always forever~"

The voice was of a male. Scratchy, shaky. Familiar.

Familiar.

You could feel a string of your heart pop out of place as your breath stopped. That's when you knew something was wrong, but it just doesn't add up. You gulp while your eyeballs vigorously glance around to see where the source was coming from, only to see a figure in a corner. It was doubled over and it was sitting down on a simple wooden chair. Doubling over a...table? An average male figure, nothing unique. Although, the clothing style was unusual. At least what was on the clothes. He wore a fluffy white hoodie and what seemed to be black pants and black-and-white converse. The problem wasn't the outfit, no. His hoodie was spotted and had patterns upon patterns of darkened and more fresh-looking blood splatter. He had long black hair down to his shoulders. And luckily, his back was facing you.

You were dumbfounded. How did you get here, why are you restrained, and why is there a blood covered man near you? Is that even blood? Maybe it's paint or a design? Some people do wear clothes that have different kinds of blood splatter designs on them. Hm. Or he's an actual murderer about to gut you like a fish.

You wanted to speak. You wanted to speak so badly but you just couldn't. As you parted your lips, your throat went dry while your gaze stayed locked onto the bloody male that sat before you. The singing made you shiver as you tried so hard to remember where you could have heard or seen him. Why can't you remember?

The male then turned around to look at you. His singing had come to a gentle halt. Your mouth closed as he did so, your throat going completely dry and your whole body feeling like an ice cube. You were greeted with cold blue eyes. They looked hungry and bloodthirsty, yet they held a warm affection as they looked into your traumatized eyes. It was almost comforting until you saw the rest of his face. His skin was snow white and his lips looked dry. That's when more attention is drawn to his lower jaw. He's smiling. Too big for a normal person.

That's when you realize. He has a large smile carved into his cheeks going from ear to ear while his own lips were curled within a smile as well. And that's when it hits you.

And it hits you hard.

The memories of hours prior start brutally crashing into you, flooding back into your numb brain. All of the realization replaced itself with agonizing anxiety, your heart starting to race at speeds that felt impossible. You could pass out, but something inside you kept you awake. Something about him and about this whole situation was making you dizzy. The male slowly stands and turns his body all the way to face you. He seemed deranged, yet, he had a very relaxed stance and body language.

Uncomfortable silence loomed in the air.

He kept staring at you before slowly taking steps forward. You watch him carefully as your head feels like it's spinning, which you could notice your vision blurring a little bit here and there. The silence is suddenly disturbed with the male speaking up again, choking up in giggles. "Oh my sweet Y/N, you're awake~" He cooed, now standing over you. He leaned himself down and reached his hand to your cheek, gently brushing your skin with his surprisingly soft thumb. He leaned his face closer to yours. The smell of booze, blood, & smoke overwhelmed your nostrils. Yet it didn't seem to bother you that much.

His touch almost kind of made you feel...at ease. Your heart slowed itself and your breathing went back to pace. You felt fine, somewhat, but something in your stomach was still sore. The more you stare at him, the more memories come flooding back. The more memories flooding back, the easier you fit the puzzles together.

"M-my...stomach..--" You stutter out painfully.

In response to this, the male turned his head over to your abdomen and gently rested his other hand onto your bandaged stomach, applying very gentle pressure on it as to not hurt you. It was still slightly painful, causing you to groan under your breath.

"Oh, this...I'm sorry, my sweet butterfly. I had to make sure you wouldn't get away, and you didn't! Don't worry, Jack patched you up, so you'll be just fine!"

You remember now. You remember it all. The chase, your friend, the salty kiss before what you thought was your demise.

You naturally wondered as well; who's Jack?

"Wh-.." You weakly force air out of your throat again to speak, "why am I..tied-?"

"Oh, so you wouldn't be able to get away. I knew you would run away, or struggles, so I had to make sure you wouldn't do that!"

He was right. You would run away and struggle to get out of whatever the hell kind of place you're in. Well, knowing what he looks like. He DID stab you, after all. Who knows what this sicko wants.

He lifts his hand from your stomach and turns back to you, gently placing both of his hands at each side of your face. "You're so beautiful, Y/N. So sweet and so innocent. I couldn't keep letting the others eat you up like candy. You're mine and only mine. I need to protect you."

"Wh-who- are you?" You weren't really all too scared for some strange reason now. You were pretty calm. Probably from all of the energy this is draining.

"His name is Jeff." A deep and gruff voice cuts in.

The both of you turn your heads to the door of the room where a tall figure in all black stood. He was about 6"4 wearing heavy boots, black jeans, and a black hoodie. His hair was a dark brown though while he wore a mask. The mask was a dark blue with black goo oozing from the eyesockets. He was pretty intimidating even just by standing idly like a character waiting to be loaded in.

"And I'm Jack." He continued, "I'm the one who took care of your wound."

Jack stepped closer, soon standing at the other side of the table. He stood at the left as Jeff stood at the right.

"He wouldn't stop insisting I help."

You just blink, unknowing of what to respond with. He pursed his lips under his dark mask, in his own thought for a moment while staring down at you. You seemed calm enough, and your still pretty fresh injury was gonna hold you back anyway.

"[P]-[Pronoun]'s gonna-!" He attempts to blurt out, only to be stopped by you.

"I won't."

You were untied at your wrists and ankles, allowing yourself to pull your legs up and rest your feet at the top of the table, propping your knees up. It made your stomach feel weird, but it felt kind of nose and felt like it was easing the pain. You wrapped your arms around your knees, looking around the room more. "What is this place?" You ask.

"It's a medical room."

"Huh.." You shrug it off. Your anxiety levels had died down and the more you actually think about it, this isn't the worst thing that's happened. Your life has been pretty fucked up and you have damaged relationships everywhere. Honestly, being around new people and being far away from others sounds not too bad right now. Not like anyone would care anyway.

The next few hours, you're introduced to everyone else at the Mansion. They've been so...unique and honestly, you're surprised some people and beings like them even exist. They were all equally surprised with how little fear you showed.

You actually got along with most of them.

The others have taken a liking to you and hope you hang around longer. Alone in the living room, you, Jeff, Jack, and others sit at the couches and chairs in the living room, chatting away and getting to know them as they get to know you.

You feel Jeff wrap his arms around you and place a gentle kiss on your forehead, making your heart skip a beat.

You found out Jeff has been stalking you for months at a time. Watching your every move, eliminating anyone in the way. Huh, no wonder so many people in your life kept disappearing. You...couldn't bring yourself to be upset or scared, let alone even sad. You felt kind of at ease.

And far from uncomfortable. Someone loved you. Maybe more than they should, but they love you.

You didn't even feel upset at the fact Jeff had murdered that friend earlier. I mean, you just met the guy, so he wasn't even a 'friend'? So you paid no mind to it.

If anything, you really liked the thrill of someone being obsessed with you. A serial killer being so infatuated with you. He could be so protective of you and get rid of anyone you asked him to! There's is an advantage here. You knew he could snap and probably kill you intentionally or unintentionally, but you didn't mind. You really had no one else, technically speaking. No one that really cared. Not as much as he did.

Maybe he isn't so bad.

[tricksters-captain]

Benny Watts/The Queens Gambit imagines - From Pawn to Pen Part 4

AN: I’m sorry I missed posting last week. I’m currently going through a hard break up and it’s really taking a lot of energy out of me so I struggle to write at the moment. 

Overall Summary: You’re a young journalist for Chess Review, with a love for chess and a desire for knowledge. One day at a tournament, you come across the famous Benny Watts...

In this chapter: You return to Boston for the week. 

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3)

Pairing(s): Benny Watts x Fem!reader

Word Count: 1,940

Warnings: Some strong language

You smiled as you looked at the copies of ‘Chess Review’ on the racks. 

Your first front page piece for Chess Review. 

They had used one of the pictures of Benny that you had taken at the hotel and you were pretty proud of your photography skills. 

You picked up a copy and took it inside to pay for it. 

On second thought, you picked up two so you could mail one to Angelie. 

You left the store quickly after and started to walk back to your apartment. 

Boston was busier than you had remembered and you finally had some time to sort out the apartment after your article went down well with the big man. 

You opened the door to your apartment and put down your groceries on the kitchen counter top. 

The last tenant hadn’t left the place in too bad a state, just a carpet stain here and there and a broken lamp. 

You had bought some paint to redecorate your living room and bedroom since it seemed too boring after where you lived in Paris. You had spent the last couple days painting and then you finally left to go check out your title page. 

The books that Benny had given you were still on your small two person dining room table where you had left them when you first got back. You looked over at them and furrowed your brow as you thought about whether you are actually going to bother to read them or not. 

Your phone started to ring and your frown disappeared when you realised it was probably Angelie. No one else had your number besides your work. 

“Hello?” You answered it, taking the phone off the wall as you leant beside it. 

“Miss (Y/L/N)?” You’d recognise that voice anywhere after listening to it so much over the last tournament. 

“Benny Watts?” You asked, almost in shock. 

“Have you read those books I leant you yet?” He asked, not even bothering to confirm it was him. 

“It’s been four days.” You told him flatly. 

“You could’ve easily gotten through at least two of them by now.” Benny challenged you which caused you to shake your head (even though he couldn’t see). 

“You know, Benny Watts, I do have a life to live.” You defended yourself to which Benny found amusing. 

“So, you’re back in Boston since you picked up this phone.” Benny changed the subject completely. 

“How did you even get this number?” You asked, genuinely curious and a little worried. 

“You really think Chess Review won’t hand over your telephone number to their favourite US chess player?” 

“You got it from Beth Harmon then?”  You teased the boy to which he responded with a dry laughter. 

“Ha Ha. Very funny.” Benny retorted, “If you’re in Boston, it means you currently aren’t working. Fancy an educational trip to New York City?” 

“Benny, I told you. I’m not coming to New York.” You reminded him about how you declined previously when he asked. 

“Come on, just for the weekend? We’ll play some chess, do some tourist shit and eat some food?” Benny asked, trying his best to persuade you Benny Watts style. 

“I’ve also told you before that I don’t play.” You felt a small bubble of excitement in your stomach as you considered going to New York but you quickly squashed it down. 

“What are you afraid of?” Benny asked. Deja Vu. 

“Why are you pushing this?” You closed your eyes as you let your head roll back to press against the wall. 

“Because I see that same light that’s in Beth Harmon, that’s in every decent chess player when you see a chess board.” Benny confessed to you. 

“I’m sorry, Benny. You’ll just have to find someone else to play with. I don’t want to be apart of this little game.” You hung up the phone with a sad sigh before Benny could respond. 

You found yourself looking at the books again. 

You picked up Benny’s and you opened it...

“I’ve been waiting all day for your call.” You half scolded Angelie as you answered the call. 

You heard Angelie’s laughter through the phone and it made you home sick. 

“Je suis désolé!” Angie apologised. “This new project has me so busy, constantly on set, costume changes, make up changes, redoing scene..!” 

“It sounds awful.”  You chuckled, 

“It is! You wouldn’t understand... You’re just a big time American journalist.” Angelie pouted. “Anyway, how are you?” 

“I’m okay.” You lied. 

“Menteuse!” Angelie called you out. “Tell me the truth. What is bothering you, Mon Cher?” 

“Benny Watts called me today.” You had filled her in on the tournament with him once you had first arrived back in Boston and she had already previously told you off for not taking his offer to New York. 

“He did?!” Angie gasped. 

“Yes, he did. He got my number through work and called me to ask if I had read the books he gave me which I haven’t because it’s been less than a week since. the tournament.” You explained. 

“That boy is in love with you, I am telling you now.” Angie was always the hopeless romantic type. It’s how she has had her heart broke so many times. 

“The boy wants to play chess with me to assert his masculine dominance over me and boost his ego with an easy win.” You argued. 

“You are always so negative about men! You hardly know this one!” Angelie groaned. 

“He’s Benny Watts. That’s all I need to know.” 

“I think you should go to New York and meet with him.” Angelie told you. You hadn’t even informed her about the fact he asked you again. 

“I think I should stay here and enjoy my first weekend off in six months.” You shook your head at the idea. 

“(Y/n), you only live once and how many girls are invited to New York by the Benny Watts?!” 

“Probably quite a lot.” You knew Angie was only trying to hype you up but you couldn’t help but knock her down. 

“Even if that is so. You could probably get another article out of it. Benny Watts and his life in the big apple?” Angie suggested. 

“I’m sure ‘LIFE’ has already done that piece before.” You pushed another idea aside. 

“Trust me, (Y/n). You need to stop being so afraid of the unknown and who knows, maybe you’ll enjoy yourself?” Angelie had had enough of the negativity from you at this point. 

There was a sudden knock at your door. 

“I’m sorry, Angie. Someone’s just knocked on my door, I’ll have to call you back.” You looked over at your front door and wondered who it could be. 

“Ça va. Call me back!” She told you as the knock occurred again. 

“Je t'aime.” You hung the phone back up on the wall and went over to your door. 

You opened it and you felt your face go white at the sight of who stood there. 

“Jesus, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Benny Watts. 

BENNY WATTS.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked him. 

“Well,  you wouldn’t come to me so I came to you.” Benny shrugged. 

“You can’t just stalk someone. This isn’t okay. This isn’t cute!” You were bewildered. 

“This isn’t stalking. It’s simply coming to Boston to visit a friend.” He defended himself as he stood out in the hallway. 

“I wouldn’t call us friends, Benny.” You scoffed. 

“Ouch.” Benny put his hand on his heart. 

You went to close your door on him but Benny stopped you. 

“Wait.” He pleaded. His cocky demeanour suddenly dropped. “Look, I know this is weird but I really wanted to see you.” Benny started to explain. 

“I––” He cut you short. 

“–– This isn’t some game. I just want to help you. I want you to play chess again. I want you to play with me.” Benny stayed with his hand against the door and his foot in the gap as he spoke. 

“This is crazy, Benny.” You told him, your eyes locked on his as you felt your heart race. 

“I know.” Benny stepped back. “I’m staying in the hotel down the block. I’ll be here all weekend. If you don’t want to see me, then don’t. But if you change your mind. I’ll be around.” 

You watched him back away from the door and head back down the stairs. 

Benny fucking Watts. 

You rushed back to the phone and dialled Angelie’s number. 

“Bonjour?” She answered, 

“You’ll never guess who was at the door.” 

You ended up tossing and turning all night. 

You caved in at around 3am and started to read Benny’s book again. 

You finished it by the time the sun was rising. 

You had a cold shower to wake you up at around 9am and then you stared in the mirror as the thoughts racked your brain. 

You walked over to your chess set that rested on the dresser top and you took it over to your bed, opening it up. 

You set up the board and stared at it.  

You picked up the queen. The same queen that Benny had held in the photo you took. 

You caved. 

You dressed and did simple make up before heading to the hotel that Benny had told you he was staying. 

“I’m looking for Mr Benny Watts.” You asked the elderly lady at the front desk. 

“He’s staying in room 306 but I’m almost certain I saw him leave about an hour ago for breakfast.” She informed you. 

You thanked her then sighed. 

You left the hotel lobby and started down the street. There was plenty of places to eat around the hotel, you almost considered just waiting in the lobby for him to return. 

Then you saw it. 

Through a window of a small diner. 

The famous black hat. 

You pushed open the diner door and walked towards the booth where Benny was sat. 

He had his back to you but he didn’t seem surprised to see you when you sat down opposite him.  

“Morning.” He greeted you as he munched on some pancakes. 

“I won’t play chess with you.” You stated. “I won’t play chess with you but I will spend the weekend with you and you can talk about it.”

Benny remained silent as his brown eyes watched you carefully. 

“I finished your book.” You told him. “I'm ready to learn.” 

Benny placed his knife and fork down, picking up the napkin beside his plate to wipe his mouth. 

“Great.” He nodded, interlinking his fingers above his food as he elbows rested on the table.  “Let’s begin.” 

(WHAT HAPPENS NEXT HERE)

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