#also me writing this: should also write about the ongoing familial relationships because i think that's related

[lightdancingwords]

Second Chances: Forever - Part Five of ?

Pairings: Beau Arlen x Y/N Female reader Series Summary: A chance meeting in the grocery store brought a whirlwind of change to Beau Arlen’s life—change he had no issues with whatsoever. A second chance at life, love, family—a second chance at forever. Word Count: 5,207 Tags/Warnings: Fluff, just the tiniest hint of implied smut A/N: Comments, Likes, Reblogs, Kind feedback are always highly appreciated. Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

NOTE: It’s here! Welcome, welcome to Second Chances: Forever! I have no idea how long this story will go on, and that is okay with me! I’ve been loving and enjoying writing Beau and his little corner of life! So like I said, until I get burnt out (unlikely) or run out of ideas (also unlikely), it’s ongoing! Divider: credit to @sweetmelodygraphics

Chapter Five: Family Life

The warm scent of breakfast filled the kitchen as Y/N flipped the last pancake onto the plate. Caleb babbled happily in his high chair, smacking his chubby hands on the tray, while Eliza arranged her stuffed animals around the table for “pancake time.”

Beau was leaning against the counter, sipping his coffee, still dressed in his lounge clothes—sweatpants and a T-shirt, his badge and uniform not yet making their usual Monday morning appearance.

It was shaping up to be a peaceful, easy morning.

And then Y/N’s phone rang.

She wiped her hands on a dish towel before picking it up, glancing at the screen. Her brows furrowed slightly.

Emily.

Emily usually called Beau, not her. It wasn’t that they didn’t have a good relationship—they did. But Emily had always been closer to her father, and if she needed something, she typically went straight to him.

Beau must’ve noticed the flicker of curiosity across Y/N’s face because he tilted his head. “Emily?”

Y/N nodded, answering quickly. “Hey, sweetheart.”

There was a long pause on the other end. A shaky inhale. Then—

“Y/N?” Emily’s voice cracked, and immediately, Y/N’s stomach tightened.

She stepped away from the noise of the kitchen, heading for the back door and slipping outside onto the porch. “I’m here, honey. What’s wrong?”

Emily sniffled, letting out a breath that wavered at the edges. “I—I broke up with Ryan.”

Y/N’s heart clenched, her grip tightening on the phone. She knew of Ryan. Emily had mentioned him several times, and from what Y/N had gathered, they’d been together for a while—long enough that Emily had started wondering if maybe he was the one.

Y/N had been careful with her advice whenever Emily had asked for it, knowing that young love could feel like the whole world. And now, hearing Emily’s tears, she knew this wasn’t just some casual break-up.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Y/N said softly, leaning against the porch railing. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“I—I don’t know,” Emily admitted, her voice thick with emotion. “I was sure I was doing the right thing when I ended it. But now, I just—I keep wondering if I made a mistake.”

Y/N inhaled deeply, already shifting into comfort mode. “Tell me what happened.”

Emily sniffled again. “It’s just… things weren’t working. We kept arguing about little stuff, and I felt like I was always the one compromising. And I know that’s not what love is supposed to be. But I keep thinking—what if I was just expecting too much? What if I should have compromised more? What if I just threw away something that could’ve worked?”

Y/N let out a slow breath, her heart aching for the young woman on the other end of the line. “Sweetheart, listen to me. Just because something could have worked doesn’t mean it should have.”

Emily was quiet for a moment. “I thought love was supposed to be easy.”

Y/N let out a soft, knowing laugh. “No, honey. Love isn’t always easy. But it’s not supposed to feel like you’re constantly giving up pieces of yourself just to keep the peace, either.”

Emily didn’t say anything right away, but Y/N could hear the faint waver of her breath.

“You called me,” Y/N continued gently, “because we’ve talked about this before. Because you know deep down that you made the right choice. You just need someone to remind you.”

Emily let out a shaky exhale. “Yeah.”

Y/N smiled softly, gripping the phone a little tighter. “You didn’t mess up, Em. You chose yourself. And that’s not a mistake.”

On the other end of the line, Emily took a deep, steadying breath.

“I—I think I just needed to hear that.”

“And you can call me anytime you need to hear it again,” Y/N promised.

Emily let out a small, watery chuckle. “Thanks, Y/N. I mean it.”

“Always, sweetheart.”

Another deep breath, and Emily’s voice was a little steadier now. “Okay. I should probably go do something productive instead of laying in bed feeling sorry for myself.”

Y/N smiled. “That sounds like a plan.”

There was a pause before Emily added, “Don’t tell Dad, okay? Not yet. He’ll just get all protective and grumpy.”

Y/N laughed, glancing back through the window where Beau stood, still watching her with quiet curiosity. “Oh, I know how he is.”

Emily chuckled softly. “I’ll tell him eventually. Just… not today.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Y/N promised. “Call me if you need anything, alright?”

“I will. Love you, Y/N.”

Y/N’s heart swelled. “Love you too, sweetheart.”

As she hung up and tucked the phone into her pocket, she let out a deep breath, shaking off the tension from the call.

She turned and stepped back inside, meeting Beau’s waiting gaze.

“What was that about?” he asked, his voice casual, but his eyes held that familiar concern—his instincts always on high alert when it came to his daughter.

Y/N smiled softly, walking up to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “She just needed some advice.”

Beau’s brow furrowed slightly. “Everything okay?”

“She’ll be fine,” Y/N assured him, pressing a kiss to his chest. “She’s smart, Beau. She’s figuring things out.”

Beau exhaled, wrapping his arms around her. “She callin’ you for advice now?”

Y/N smirked. “What can I say? I give good advice.”

Beau chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “That you do.”

As they stood there, Caleb babbling in his high chair and Eliza humming to herself at the table, Beau felt something settle in his chest.

He had always worried about how Y/N and Emily would connect, but hearing how easily Emily had reached for her today?

It told him everything.

Emily had chosen Y/N to confide in.

She trusted her.

And for Beau, that meant more than he could ever put into words.

The house was winding down for the night, the usual hum of bedtime routines filling the air.

Caleb had been the first to fall asleep, his tiny hand clutching onto the sleeve of Beau’s shirt as he dozed off in his crib. Eliza had taken a little longer, insisting on one more story before finally curling up with her stuffed wolf, her sleepy little voice whispering, “Night, Daddy,” before drifting off.

Now, with the house quiet and the dim glow of the bedside lamp casting warm light across the room, Beau and Y/N were curled up together in bed, tangled beneath the covers.

Y/N was resting against his chest, her fingers lazily tracing over his forearm, both of them finally getting a moment to just be.

And then Beau’s phone rang.

Y/N tilted her head slightly as Beau reached for it, glancing at the screen. His brows lifted in surprise.

Emily.

He answered immediately, his voice warm. “Hey, baby girl.”

There was a beat of silence on the other end. Then—

“Hey, Daddy.”

Her voice was small, softer than usual. Beau immediately sat up a little straighter, his protective instincts flaring.

“You alright?” he asked, his tone gentle but alert.

Y/N shifted beside him, resting a hand on his knee, listening quietly.

Emily let out a slow breath. “Yeah. I mean… not really? I don’t know.”

Beau frowned. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

Emily sighed. “I broke up with Ryan.”

Beau stilled.

She hadn’t mentioned Ryan much in the past few weeks, but he had been around long enough that Beau had known the kid’s name, had heard about him in passing.

Beau had never been one of those overprotective dads who scared off boyfriends—he trusted Emily to make her own decisions—but still… he had questions.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” he asked, keeping his voice even.

Emily hesitated. “I just… I didn’t feel like it was working. We kept arguing, and I felt like I was the only one trying to make things better. And I know relationships take effort, but it felt like too much effort, you know?”

Beau exhaled, nodding even though she couldn’t see him. “I get it, baby girl.”

“I was sure when I ended it,” Emily continued, her voice growing softer. “But now I keep wondering if I made the right call. Like… what if I was just being too picky? What if I should’ve tried harder?”

Beau’s jaw tightened slightly. That wasn’t something he liked hearing from her.

“No,” he said firmly. “Em, listen to me. You don’t have to force something that isn’t working. If you weren’t happy, then you made the right choice.”

Emily sniffled on the other end. “Y/N said the same thing.”

Beau glanced at Y/N, his lips twitching slightly. “Did she now?”

Y/N smirked, mouthing, Told you I give good advice.

Beau chuckled softly. “Well, she’s got a good head on her shoulders, so I’d say you got some solid counsel.”

Emily let out a small laugh, but it was still laced with uncertainty. “I just… I don’t wanna regret it, you know?”

Beau sighed, leaning back against the headboard. “Baby girl, let me ask you somethin’. Do you miss him, or do you miss the idea of him?”

Emily went quiet.

Y/N squeezed Beau’s knee, her eyes shining with pride at how easily he had cut straight to the heart of it.

Finally, after a long pause, Emily exhaled. “The idea of him.”

Beau smiled softly. “Then you got your answer.”

Emily sighed. “Yeah. I think I do.”

Beau smirked. “Plus, if he wasn’t treating you right, I’d have had to come down there and scare him straight.”

Emily let out a real laugh at that. “Oh my God, Dad. You wouldn’t.”

Beau chuckled. “I wouldn’t. But I thought about it.”

Emily giggled, and that alone eased some of the tension in Beau’s chest. “Thanks, Daddy,” she murmured. “I needed to hear that.”

“Always, baby girl,” Beau said, his voice warm and full of love. “And next time, you don’t gotta sit with it so long before callin’ me, alright?”

“I know,” Emily admitted. “I just… I didn’t wanna disappoint you.”

Beau’s heart ached.

“Em,” he said softly, his voice thick, “you could never disappoint me.”

Emily sniffled again. “Love you, Daddy.”

Beau swallowed, nodding even though she couldn’t see him. “Love you too, sweetheart.”

As he hung up, he let out a slow breath, staring down at the phone for a long moment.

Y/N shifted beside him, running a gentle hand up his arm. “You okay?”

Beau exhaled, setting the phone down and turning to her with a soft smile. “Yeah. I just… I hate knowin’ she was holdin’ onto that alone.”

Y/N curled into his side, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “She’s not alone. She called you. And me.”

Beau wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. “Guess that means we’re doin’ somethin’ right, huh?”

Y/N smirked. “Damn right we are.”

Beau chuckled, then tilted her chin up, kissing her deeply. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers. “I ever tell you how much I love you?”

Y/N grinned. “Mm. Once or twice.”

Beau smirked. “Well, in case you forgot—I love you, darlin’.”

Y/N sighed happily, tucking herself against him. “Love you too, Sheriff.”

And as they lay there, wrapped in each other, Beau thought again about the weight in Emily’s voice when she first called—how it had lifted by the end of the conversation.

He couldn’t protect her from everything.

But he could always be there when she needed him.

And that?

That was enough.

The house was still.

The soft hum of the baby monitor sat on the nightstand, but no sounds came from it. The kids were still asleep, giving Y/N the rarest of luxuries—time.

Golden light filtered through the curtains, stretching across the bed in warm streaks, catching on the sharp planes of Beau’s face as he lay beside her, still deep in sleep. His chest rose and fell in steady, even breaths, one arm stretched across the mattress as if reaching for her in his dreams.

Y/N smiled lazily, propping herself up on one elbow as she took him in—the familiar curve of his jaw, the way his trimmed beard dusted against his skin, the messy tousle of his hair.

It had been a week. Between the adoption process, Emily’s late-night call, and the constant whirlwind of life with two kids, they had barely had time for themselves.

But now?

Now, they had a rare, uninterrupted morning. And Y/N knew exactly how she wanted to spend it.

Shifting carefully, she moved closer, pressing featherlight kisses along Beau’s collarbone, letting her lips trace the warmth of his skin. He let out a sleepy murmur, shifting slightly, but didn’t wake just yet.

Y/N smirked, taking that as encouragement.

She moved lower, letting her hands roam over his chest, her lips following. She pressed slow, open-mouthed kisses against the hard muscle, savoring the way his body twitched under her touch.

Beau let out a deeper sound this time, a low, contented groan as he stirred beneath her.

“Darlin’…” His voice was rough with sleep, his brows furrowing slightly as his hand instinctively reached for her.

Y/N grinned against his skin. “Mornin’, Sheriff.”

Beau cracked one eye open, his sleepy, green gaze locking onto her. “Well, now this is a wake-up call I can get behind.”

Y/N chuckled, her fingers trailing lower as she pressed another lingering kiss over his chest. “Thought I’d make good use of our quiet morning.”

Beau let out a low chuckle, stretching beneath her. “You’re somethin’ else, darlin’.”

She smirked. “Is that a complaint?”

He growled, flipping them so she was pinned beneath him in one fluid motion. His hands slid down her sides, gripping her hips as he kissed her slow and deep.

“Not even close,” he murmured against her lips.

The heat between them built steadily, the tension snapping like a live wire. His touch was reverent, claiming, his mouth trailing down her throat, her collarbone, lower—

And then.

A loud thud echoed from down the hall, followed by the unmistakable sound of Eliza’s voice.

“CALEB! NO!”

Y/N groaned, flopping back against the pillows. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Beau let out a deep, exasperated sigh, resting his forehead against her shoulder before rolling onto his back. He stared at the ceiling for a long beat before muttering, “Well, so much for that.”

Y/N sighed, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before sliding out of bed. “Rain check?”

Beau smirked. “Oh, you better believe we’re collectin’ on that later.”

She laughed, tossing him his T-shirt before pulling on her own. “C’mon, Sheriff. Let’s go see what disaster awaits.”

Beau groaned dramatically but followed her down the hall—both of them already anticipating whatever chaos their children had managed to stir up.

And despite the interruption, Beau couldn’t help but think—

Life was pretty damn perfect.

Y/N and Beau stepped into the hallway, both still tugging on their shirts as they followed the source of the commotion. The noise had moved from Eliza’s room to the kitchen, which was never a good sign.

The moment they rounded the corner, Y/N immediately spotted the problem.

Caleb—diapered but otherwise bare—stood proudly in the middle of the kitchen, holding a plastic bowl upside down over his head like a helmet. A trail of dry cereal was scattered across the floor around him, a clear indication of his morning activity.

Eliza stood nearby, hands on her hips, her curls a wild mess from sleep. “CALEB,” she huffed dramatically, “you makin’ a mess!”

Caleb, unfazed by his sister’s scolding, clapped his hands and babbled something incomprehensible before throwing the bowl to the ground like a victorious gladiator.

Beau sighed, running a hand down his face. “Lord help me.”

Y/N bit back a laugh, stepping around the mess and scooping Caleb up before he could continue his path of destruction. “Good morning, my chaotic little son.”

Caleb giggled, resting his head against her shoulder as if he hadn’t just been caught mid-crime.

Beau smirked at Y/N. “Weren’t you just sayin’ you wanted to put our quiet mornin’ to good use?”

She rolled her eyes, brushing a hand over Caleb’s curls. “Should’ve known it was too good to last.”

Eliza plopped down dramatically in one of the kitchen chairs. “Mama, I hungry.”

“Yeah, baby, we’re gettin’ there,” Y/N assured her, kissing Caleb’s chubby cheek before setting him in his high chair.

Beau grabbed a broom, already sweeping up the spilled cereal. “I thought I put this outta reach last night.”

Eliza pointed at Caleb. “He climbed up there, Daddy.”

Beau paused, looking between Caleb—who was now gnawing on his own fingers like the innocent party he was not—and the counter, where the cereal box had indeed been left at the edge.

He muttered under his breath, shaking his head. “We’re gonna have to start puttin’ stuff on the damn roof.”

Y/N laughed, moving toward the stove. “Alright, let’s get breakfast going. Eggs and toast sound good?”

Eliza gasped, her dramatics returning. “WITH JAM?”

Beau smirked, leaning against the counter. “A little jam, wolf-child. Not half the jar like last time.”

Eliza grinned sheepishly but didn’t argue.

Y/N moved through the kitchen effortlessly, cracking eggs into a skillet while Beau toasted bread and made sure Eliza didn’t sneak extra jam onto her plate.

Caleb, now reclothed in a fresh onesie, babbled happily from his high chair, occasionally smacking the tray with his hands like a tiny drum.

Eliza, meanwhile, kept up an endless stream of conversation.

“Daddy, you know what?”

Beau turned to her, sliding a plate with a piece of buttered toast in front of her. “What, baby?”

“I saw a bird outside my window! A big one!”

“Yeah?” Beau raised an eyebrow, sitting down beside her. “What kinda bird we talkin’ about?”

Eliza scrunched up her nose in thought. “Ummmm… a brown one.”

Beau smirked. “Ah, yes. That narrows it down.”

Y/N chuckled from the stove. “Maybe a hawk?”

Eliza’s eyes widened. “Yeah! A hawk!”

Beau nodded seriously. “Guess we got a mighty hunter flyin’ around.”

Eliza puffed out her chest proudly. “I found him first.”

Beau tapped her nose, making her giggle. “You got good eyes, wolf-child.”

Y/N smiled at the scene, setting a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of Caleb, who immediately tried to shove an entire piece into his mouth.

“Whoa there, buddy,” Beau said, gently breaking the toast into smaller pieces. “We’re not doin’ another choking scare today.”

Y/N sat down beside him, letting out a contented sigh as she finally dug into her own food. She reached under the table, squeezing Beau’s knee. He glanced at her, a knowing smile playing at his lips.

There were still crumbs on the floor, jam on Eliza’s cheek, and Caleb was using an egg-covered hand to enthusiastically pat his tray—but none of it mattered.

This was home.

This was happiness.

Beau looked around at his family, shaking his head in pure affection. “Well,” he murmured, “I gotta say… wouldn’t trade this for nothin’.”

Eliza, completely oblivious to the sentiment behind the words, cheered, “Me neither!” before shoving another bite of jam-covered toast into her mouth.

Y/N and Beau locked eyes, laughing softly.

Life was chaotic.

Life was full.

And Beau wouldn’t change a damn thing.

The sun was high in the sky, warm but not unbearable, and the air smelled fresh and crisp as Beau pulled the truck into the parking lot of the small local petting zoo just outside of town.

Y/N had suggested they do something outside since the kids had been cooped up during the past week, and after some debate (mostly Eliza passionately campaigning for a “big fun” adventure), they had settled on the petting zoo—a place where Eliza could see the animals up close, and Caleb could simply exist in wide-eyed wonder.

Beau parked the truck and turned in his seat, looking back at his little passengers. “Alright, wolf-child, little man—y’all ready for some farm fun?”

Eliza, strapped into her car seat, clapped her hands together. “YES! I wanna see the goats!”

Y/N chuckled, unbuckling her own seatbelt. “We’ll see everything, baby.”

Beau smirked, unbuckling Caleb from his car seat. “You hear that, buddy? You ready to meet some animals?”

Caleb, still too little to understand exactly what was happening, kicked his feet excitedly and let out a loud babble that probably translated to Yes, Daddy, I’m thrilled about this development.

Beau grinned. “That’s what I thought.”

With Caleb secured in the baby carrier strapped to Beau’s chest and Y/N holding Eliza’s hand, the Arlen family strolled toward the entrance.

The air smelled of hay, fresh earth, and just the faintest hint of farm animals, though it wasn’t unpleasant.

Beau glanced down at Eliza, who was practically vibrating with excitement as they approached the entrance. “Alright, wolf-child,” he said, adjusting his hold on Caleb, who was strapped snugly against his chest in the baby carrier. “What’s the first stop?”

Eliza didn’t hesitate. “Goats!”

Y/N smirked at Beau over Eliza’s head. “Of course.”

Beau chuckled, shaking his head. “Guess that shouldn’t surprise me.”

And it didn’t. Because the last time Eliza had seen goats was the very first time they had basically spent a day together—back when he’d been working security at the farmer’s market, back when everything between him and Y/N was new and full of possibilities.

Back when he hadn’t realized just how much these two would change his life.

He exchanged a glance with Y/N, and judging by the soft smile on her lips, she was thinking the same thing.

“C’mon, Daddy!” Eliza tugged at his hand, pulling him toward the fenced-in area where a few goats were lazily munching on hay.

Beau let himself be led, Y/N falling in step beside him, her fingers grazing his free hand. He squeezed her fingertips lightly, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken memory they were sharing.

As soon as they reached the goats, Eliza let out a delighted squeal. “They so cute!”

One of the smaller goats trotted up to the fence, sniffing at Eliza’s outstretched hand. She giggled, bouncing on her toes. “He ��members me!”

Y/N crouched beside her, smoothing her hair. “Maybe he does, baby.”

Beau smirked, adjusting Caleb in the carrier. “You sure you don’t wanna check out the bunnies first?”

Eliza gasped, scandalized. “No!”

Y/N laughed, glancing up at Beau. “I think you should know by now—nothing tops goats.”

Beau huffed, but there was no real complaint in it. “Guess I should.”

Eliza gently ran her hand down the goat’s back, her little face full of pure joy. “I love him.”

Beau chuckled. “Sweetheart, you can’t just fall in love with every goat you meet.”

“Yes, I can!” Eliza argued.

Y/N grinned. “She really can.”

Beau shook his head with a smirk, but there was nothing but warmth in his chest as he watched her.

She’s grown so much.

The first time she had been around goats, she had been just a little thing, hiding behind Y/N’s legs, sneaking peeks at him when she thought he wasn’t looking. And now?

Now she was his daughter.

Not officially yet—not on paper—but in every single way that mattered.

Caleb let out a small, happy babble against his chest, grabbing at his shirt with tiny fists. Beau pressed a hand over his little back, feeling the steady rhythm of his breathing, his small warmth a constant presence.

This was their life now.

It wasn’t just his life anymore—it was theirs.

Y/N must’ve caught something in his expression, because when she stood and looped her arm through his, she murmured, “What’re you thinking about, Sheriff?”

Beau exhaled, shaking his head with a soft smile. “Just… how much things change. And how damn glad I am they did.”

Y/N smiled, leaning into him. “Me too.”

They stood there for a moment, just watching Eliza interact with the goats, her giggles filling the air.

Then Beau cleared his throat, nudging Y/N playfully. “Y’know, she’s gonna start askin’ for one soon.”

Y/N groaned. “Don’t even put that idea in her head.”

Beau smirked. “Too late.”

The petting zoo visit continued with Eliza enthusiastically feeding some of the animals, Caleb staring in fascinated wonder at a very sleepy cow, and Y/N snapping pictures of every moment.

When they finally made their way back to the truck, Eliza let out a dramatic sigh. “That was the best.”

Beau lifted her into her car seat, buckling her in. “Better than the last time?”

Eliza frowned, considering. “Same best.”

Beau grinned. “I’ll take it.”

As they pulled out of the lot, Y/N reached across the center console, lacing her fingers with Beau’s. “Good day?”

He glanced at her, then at the kids in the back, then back at her.

“Best one yet.”

And the best part?

There were still so many more to come.

The house was finally still.

After a full day of sunshine, petting zoo adventures, and far too much goat enthusiasm from Eliza, bedtime had been a welcome wind-down. Caleb had fallen asleep first, his tiny body going limp against Y/N as she rocked him, his soft little sighs melting her heart.

Eliza, on the other hand, had required two bedtime stories and a detailed retelling of every goat she had met that day before she finally surrendered to sleep, her stuffed wolf clutched tightly to her chest.

By the time Y/N stepped into the living room, the warm glow of the dimmed lights casting soft shadows across the walls, Beau was already sprawled out on the couch, one arm draped over his forehead, his other resting lazily on his stomach.

Y/N smirked, leaning against the doorframe. “Long day, Sheriff?”

Beau let out a slow exhale, cracking one eye open to look at her. “Darlin’, I wrangled children, snacks, and emotions today. Twice.”

Y/N chuckled, walking toward him. “And yet, I seem to recall you being the one causing the most trouble at the petting zoo.”

Beau sat up slightly, a lazy smirk tugging at his lips. “Listen, those goats have opinions about me, and I was just settin’ the record straight.”

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, stepping between his legs where he sat. “Well, it’s a good thing I happen to love the man who gets into silent stare-offs with farm animals.”

Beau’s smirk deepened as his hands slid up her thighs, settling around her hips. “Is that so?”

Y/N hummed in agreement, slipping her fingers into the short curls at the nape of his neck, scratching lightly. Beau groaned low in his throat, his grip on her tightening.

That was all the encouragement she needed.

She leaned in, brushing her lips against his, teasing, waiting for him to take the lead.

And oh, did he.

Beau surged upward, pulling her fully into his lap as he kissed her deep and slow, his hands sliding beneath the hem of her shirt to skim over the soft skin of her lower back.

Y/N sighed into him, tilting her head to deepen the kiss, loving the way he always made her feel like the only woman in the world.

“Mm,” Beau murmured against her lips, his hands roaming lazily. “This that rain check you mentioned?”

Y/N grinned, threading her fingers through his hair. “Damn right, it is.”

Beau chuckled, shifting so that he could lift her effortlessly into his arms. She gasped as he stood, holding her against his chest, his lips pressing a lingering kiss to her throat.

“You’re awfully determined,” she teased, wrapping her arms around his neck as he carried her toward their bedroom.

Beau smirked. “Darlin’, when it comes to you? Always.”

He kicked the door shut behind them, sealing them into the warmth of the night, of each other—of love that had only deepened with time.

And this? This was just another beautiful chapter in the life they had built together.

The room was wrapped in a warm, golden glow, the bedside lamp casting soft shadows against the walls. Outside, the wind rustled lightly through the trees, but inside, everything was still.

Y/N lay on her side, tangled in the sheets and in Beau, her fingers lazily tracing slow circles over his chest. His skin was warm beneath her touch, his breathing steady, his body relaxed in that way that only happened when the world faded away and it was just them.

Beau hummed, one arm draped over her waist, his fingers skimming idly over her spine. “Mm. That was real nice, darlin’.”

Y/N smirked against his skin. “Just nice?”

Beau let out a deep, satisfied chuckle. “Alright, real nice. Better?”

She grinned, lifting her head just enough to meet his gaze. His green eyes were still heavy with the remnants of their time together, his lips tugged into a soft, lazy smile.

“Much better,” she murmured, leaning up to kiss him.

Beau sighed against her lips, his fingers tightening at her waist. “Damn, I love you.”

Y/N felt warmth spread through her chest. “Love you too, Sheriff.”

They lay there in comfortable silence, the only sounds their slow, mingled breathing and the occasional shift of the sheets.

Then Beau let out a soft exhale, his voice low and thoughtful. “Been thinkin’ a lot lately.”

Y/N traced her fingers down his arm, resting her palm over his heart. “About what?”

Beau stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning his head to look at her. “How different life is now. How good different is.”

Y/N’s lips curved into a soft smile. “You mean since we met?”

Beau nodded. “Yeah. And since we got married. Since we became a family.” He paused, his thumb stroking over her hip. “Since I got to be Eliza’s family, too.”

Y/N’s throat tightened at the emotion in his voice. She shifted closer, pressing her forehead to his. “You were always meant to be, Beau.”

He swallowed hard, exhaling against her lips. “I didn’t know I needed this,” he admitted. “Didn’t know how much I wanted this until I had it.”

Y/N cupped his face, her fingers brushing over the roughness of his trimmed beard. “I don’t think I ever knew how much I needed you until I had you.”

Beau closed his eyes briefly, like he was trying to absorb every word, every touch, every second. Then he let out a quiet chuckle. “Never thought I’d be a man with a house full of toys on the floor, a daughter who bosses me around, and a baby who drools on my uniform before I head to work.”

Y/N smirked. “Regretting it?”

Beau opened his eyes, his expression full of so much love it nearly stole her breath. “Not for a damn second.”

Y/N kissed him then, slow and deep, pouring every ounce of love she had into it. When she pulled back, she rested her forehead against his. “Forever, Beau.”

His fingers tightened around her waist, his voice nothing but truth. “Forever, darlin’.”

And as they drifted off to sleep, wrapped in each other, wrapped in love, there wasn’t a single doubt left between them.

They had built something real.

Something beautiful.

Something that would last forever.

Tag List: @spxideyver, @deadlymistletoe, @bitchykittenconnoisseur, @aarpfashionvictim, @stoneyggirl2

@foxyjwls007, @katastrophicmind, @globetrotter28, @deansimpalababy, @daisychaingirl

@nancymcl, @deans-baby-momma, @kickingitwithkirk, @kmc1989, @ozwriterchick

Want to be a part of this tag list or others? Comment here and I'll add you! And check out my other stories that are currently being written!

[babyspacekwid]

Some of my Astro placements and how they manifest

Chiron 4th house:

This placement talks of a wound surrounding the family and home, and well, I would often search for a home because no where to me felt like home. I still feel misunderstood and out of place, BUT, I have made deep and valuable connections that have helped guide me and make me feel the love I should have had. Not to say this placement is completely hopless, it’s beautiful and it’s real and it’s tough, but you come out stronger. I use to hate that fucking perspective too. Like okay??? Who gaf if I come out stronger I’m fucking suffering, like why didn’t I get the parents everyone else has? Why’d I have to walk on eggshells? I felt like my anger and sadness was invalidated because I didn’t feel strong. I felt worthless and disorganized. I was a mess and I still am. Idk if that’s ever gonna change tbh, but despite all, it’s true. You DO come out stronger. In every aspect I have. Home is your people it was never a place, home is your mother cradling you for the first time in a while, it’s your friends taking care of you when you’re sobbing. Home is your dad realizing his mistakes and apologizing. Home is a feeling, it’s refreshing and comforting. Home was never suppose to be stressful, or feel like a war zone. To whoever has this same placement I feel you and I love you.

Mars in Aquarius in the 5th house

I do things unconventionally and I only realize this when I’m with other ppl. It can be as simple as the way I eat my burger, to my taste in music. Which is everything. I like literally everything. I don’t care the genre. If it’s good and catchy I love it. I did a lot of different hobbies as a kid too? Like taekwondo, dance, soccer, painting, singing, writing. But I never stayed long in any of those hobbies. Loved anime which ik everyone likes these days but where I live and during my childhood it was still a bit taboo or considered weird to watch. I was the kid that got along with everyone at school too. I didn’t see the point in highschool having a social hierarchy of popularity. It’s fucking stupid. I remember this one kid in my class who everyone thought was weird, which from their perspective I understand because he liked to talk about taboo topics that everyone thought was outrageous, but I was enjoying conversing with him because his perspectives were fresh and built my own views and opinions. I also have a 5th house stellium and I just fucking hate anything that isn’t fun like. I can’t do the 9-5 I have to enjoy my life like this society was not meant for the way my brain works istg.

Lilith 8th house

Constant comments were made about my body when I was young. From good to bad to what the actual fuck are you saying to a 12 year old. No cause it still happens and I’ve learnt to deal with it, but it has greatly affected how I view myself, my sexuality, and my comfortability with it.

Sun and moon in Gemini

I got the worst of both worlds wtf is this?! Considering my chart is 60% air signs you’d think I’d be use to it but I’m notttttt. I try to stray away from the stereotypical “Geminis intellectualize their emotions” but it’s true we do, but I think it’s cause feeling our emotions are overwhelming. Geminis ARE emotional. There’s just so much going on that my brain decides “I need a solution to this now cause feeling is pain” also hate that I’m not consistent. Consistency is my worst enemy, it doesn’t agree with me and my behaviours and we have an ongoing tense relationship, so I don’t finish anything. Not the books I wanna write or the paintings I wanna finish. Working on it tho 😭

Jupiter in Leo in the 11th house

I know so many people, and the friends I’ve made feel like my soul family. We’re siblings at this point. (Also rlly love the spotlight. What can I say I’m an attention whore)

[scratchtovoid]

📓 DAEMYRA FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS

• Someone You Knew In Another Life by @spreta-invidia - My current obsession. I made this post just for this story! Time travel fix it fics are popular for a reason with the Dance characters but in my opinion this fic does it best. Told from different points of view, this story centers on Aegon III going back in time to tell his parents about the coming war and their own deaths! What follows is deliciously written political scheming, deep discussions of what parenthood means for Rhaenyra and Daemon, and a tender family story that brought tears to my eyes more than once.

Complete || 65 Chapters || M || 176K || (link)

• The Sacrifice and the Sea Dragon by Fayte2008 - As someone who writes alternative fantasy asoiaf fics, I’m deeply partial to any writer that dares to reimagine these characters in new fantasy settings. So discovering this short but delightful tale of Daemon being sacrificed to a sea dragon made me incredibly happy. Written like a fairy tale, this story would not feel out of place in an anthology of Valyrian legends.

Complete || Oneshot || E || 1.7K || (link)

• your ivy grows (now I'm covered in you) by @charlie-leau - Personally I think anything by this writer is well worth your time! But what I love about this story of Rhaenyra facing an unexpected pregnancy is that it delves deep into both her complicated relationship with being a mother and the stigma of childbirth out of wedlock in a world like Westeros. Despite this series being only five chapters long, the Daemon/Rhaenyra love story feels earned at the end!

Complete || 5 Chapters || E || 87K || (link)

• put down that gravestone by darkgods - This fic will always be special to me because it was the fic that really got me into Daemyra fic in the first place! I don’t think I would even be writing fanfiction if I hadn’t read this series! And that’s because it so wonderfully balances the political intrigue we know so well from canon with a deeply satisfying love story that is all about family. In this canon divergent tale, Rhaenyra gets pregnant from a tryst with Daemon the night of the brothel (unbeknownst to them both). When Daemon is sent away and Rhaenyra is forced to marry Laenor, she raises her sons as true Velaryons. That is until Daemon returns to take his place at court, and Rhaenyra finds she can’t hide her sons’ true identities from the man who sired them.

Ongoing/Hiatus || 28/45 Ch || E || 249K || (link)

• Lavender Haze by madgirlslovesong (sympathy4thedevil) - In this AU, Viserys has a dragon dream of the coming war in which he sees Rhaenyra’s death. In order to change his daughter’s fate, he names Aegon heir and grants Rhaenyra the title of Princess of Dragonstone as a consolation prize. Resigned to a life denied, Rhaenyra finds renewed freedom when Daemon arrives offering her a world of new possibilities. If you want a fluffy, sexy, what could have been for Rhaenyra and Daemon, this is the one! This fic explores life outside of court and allows Rhaenyra to see more of the world than she got to see in canon. It gives the fic a completely unique feeling. There’s also some great fun with Viserys and his reaction to Daemyra’s relationship in a follow up oneshot!

Complete || 8 Chapters || E || 96K || (link)

• Deep Tissue by @luthien-under-bough - Rhaenyra gets a massage that has her feeling especially relaxed! Just trust me on this one, you should read it.

Complete || Oneshot || E || 4K || (link)

• Blood Sweeter Than Honey Wine by Me! - Yes, I’m including my own fic on this list. If you want a taste of my writing or if you’re interested in a completely different kind of fantasy AU, you might like my twisted tale of a Prince who washes up on an island long thought to be abandoned but is actually home to a mysterious Queen with a dangerous secret!

Complete || Oneshot || E || 11K || (link)

[artist-issues]

Hello hello I have very big and complicated questions that started out broad and complex but got more and more specific and more and more personal like my questions to my family and friends always do. Whoops lol. Buckle up.

I wanted to ask about fanfiction. I've really been thinking about that post you made about how a lot of fanfiction can be just used as a form of escapism, and not in a good way like Tolkien described it, but as a 'I hate life so I'm gonna read and write extensively about fictional characters rather than working hard/trying to improve my own life' Which I really want to avoid and not do. In the past I've certainly fallen into that trap- I would get so caught up in writing Marvel or Percy Jackson or Harry Potter fanfiction (not to toot my own horn, but was objectively good and I do think grew my skills a lot as a writer and character analyzer) that I would spend every free moment and many of ones when I really should've been working on school or chores or spending time with my actual family reading and writing it. I was probably doing that 5-8 hours a day when I was 11/12. (Yikes) Thankfully, my parents smacked some sense into me lol. It really just goes to show you how, for lack of a better term, soul-consuming, that these kind of fantasy pursuits can really be. Thankfully, I don't do that any more. I actively limit myself to a max of 3 hours of reading and writing fanfiction over the course of a week, which is a big improvement.

So yay! Now I have a definte separation from writing fanfiction to improve my writing and writing it to waste time because all of my energy is focused on it to the point where it is in my every thought. Good! Growth!

But now my new thing is this- I want to make sure that any and all fanfiction I write has a definite point. I want it to point to good things and have clear messages and blue flowers and point to Jesus, even if it isn't specifically a 'Christian' fanfiction.

For example, let's just point at that Voice in the Dark one shot I wrote, which is one of, if not the, best singular fiction piece that I've written. I think the reasons why it was so good was that A) I expanded on the story in a way that was intriguing, and got inside my characters heads and accurately depicted their thought processes through it B) Made it pleasant to read with details and action and emotion and everything, C) set everything up for a part 2 conclusion of Sam and Five really connecting and talking about what they both said/thought, and becoming friends (which after procrastinating for months, I'm finally working on), but most importantly, D) Had clear themes of hope, perseverance, connection, trust, and encouragement. Which is really what I think made it so much more excellent than other fanfiction pieces I've written. I had a clear point and intention going into it that was more than just 'Have it be something I love and just for my entertainment' although that was one of the reasons I did decide to write it I will say- you do have to love what you want to write in order to write it well after all. But this is absolutely what I want the point of all my fanfiction writing to be like from here on out, being morally great, as well as well-written.

So now, because I really enjoy ZR and its really is kinda perfect for a fanfiction format, I want to turn it into more of an ongoing piece with my favorite missions and Five's relationships with the characters. But how do I go about this trying to intentionally bring in blue flowers and good messages and beautiful themes, and not just only write it for my entertainment because its a piece of media I love? How to I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in, and then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the game and I've thought up?

And finally, last thing, is I'm wrestling through if I should continue writing fanfiction to 'fix' a story (which is why I started a Percy Jackson and Marvel fanfictions, I wanted to take the parts of each story I didn't like and were poorly done and make them better) rather than make my own point with it. For most of the fanfiction writing I've ever done, my goal was to improve it, to act like a ghostwriting editor the author hired to fix their fundamentally flawed story. But now I'm realizing that I was spending so much time and effort (which don't get me wrong, I do not fully regret, I really do think that I've gotten far better at fiction writing through this) and I didn't even add any more goodness or morals to the story in a way that made it more soul-sustaining and truly good. I wanted to add a lot of bits that made be as a reader squeal and get happy over which... I don't think is bad per say, but its not what I want my fanfiction to be like any more. With my writing, I absolutely do want to improve on the source material, yes, but I also want to figure out what sort of themes and goodness I'm going for with it. So should I continue writing these large projects (cause each piece covers several books/movies) for improvement and also try to expand on the good ideas and themes the authors had, even bringing in my own, or should I just set it aside as that was great, but now I need to focus on making writing morally good and not just for entertainment?

I know a big part of this is wisdom and descretion- things that God has blessed me with but I know I always can pursue more of. So I know a absolute perfect answer to this question will require time and experience. But after sorting through my word-vomiting (sorry lol), what would you say to all of this? Thank you!! <3

Hey! First of all, I love getting questions from you, and I especially love it because you take enough time to read the previous things I say that we can have a very level conversation, and a deep back-and-forth, which is not always the case with everybody who sends me questions (I like those questions too, I’m just saying.) So thanks for typing all that up!

Second of all, I’m no expert on fanfiction writing. You’ve read what I have to say about making sure the “Tone & Style” and “Themes” of any “Continued Work” stay true to their source material when it comes to like, sequels and expansions? Well, I guess I would apply that philosophy, generally, to fanfiction, too.

But the point of my “second of all” is actually, there are better people to ask about this than me. I can answer you in a broad “here’s how I apply my storytelling philosophy to this hypothetical scenario” sense, but other people have more experience actually doing what you’re talking about with fanfiction. Specifically, @doverstar, who, if you don’t follow her or read her stuff, I seriously think you’re missing out.

So in summary, talk to Doverstar. She’ll answer this better. But if I had to try and succinctly respond, I’d say: “Intentionality is always better than doing something by accident. But if you genuinely value goodness, beauty, and truth, in your own personal worldview, in a way that is genuine, and you cultivate that…it’ll come out in your writing on accident.” So in a way, even when you’re being intentional, as long as you remember that, you don’t have to be too militant whether you’re writing fanfiction or fiction.

(That’s a thought I’m still learning to put into practice, myself. I err on the side of “control everything to a T, outline everything, everything has to have a tie-in to the theme—if it doesn’t you’re failing—“ and I don’t recommend that mindset 😅) That’s the “short” answer to your ask. I’ve got a deep-dive below the cut if you’re interested, though.

How do I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in?

This has to do with knowing the source-story.

ZR unfortunately gets very political and social in further seasons, but to do it credit, the main, recurring, broad theme of Zombies, Run continues to be “Something greater than yourself is all that’s worth living and dying for.”

They keep coming back to it with literally every villain, and every hero, from multiple angles. You’ll see. They say, “the pursuit of pure happiness alone is bad because it’s selfish—the pursuit of immortality is bad because it’s selfish—the pursuit of everyone’s affections is bad because it’s selfish; but sacrificing for others is the real happiness, the real immortality, the real love, etc.”

So any fanfiction—even if, surface-read, it appears to be about Five falling in love with Sam or Janine learning to communicate, etc—that comes back to “Something greater than yourself is all that’s worth living and dying for.” is a success. Because it carried on the Main Point of ZR. Or it carried on a point that could be tied to the main point, whatevs.

But your question (for other fandoms) is “How do I know what themes I can bring in?”

Okay, well, that’s actually not so hard. Lots of “sub-themes” fit under the umbrella of the main theme. “Something greater than yourself,” well, that entails “self-sacrifice, gaining a broader perspective, finding empathy,” etc. (something you can see they do with sheltered characters or brittle, mission-focused miopic characters like Janine.)

But how did I find the main theme to begin with? This post. In summary:

Take in the Story, With the Single Expectation that They’re Trying to Tell You Something.

Take Note of Where You Felt Something. Then Figure Out Why You Felt It.

Figure Out What Each Character Wants, and If They Have a Moment of Change.

Look at What Decisions the Storytellers Reward, and What Decisions They Punish.

You can apply this to Marvel, to Percy Jackson, to anything. Once you figure out the main theme, it’s not so hard to break that down into little supporting ideas. And inject those into your own story. And you can even figure out where the storytellers dropped the ball, or lost their theme and did something totally out-of-character, and then fix that with your fanfiction.

Or, galaxy-brain, is when you figure out what the story was trying to say—and it was saying something bad or wrong, but you liked some of the setting or characterizations, you can fix that. Like I’ve always wanted to do with A Streetcar Named Desire.

What you don’t want to do is try to make the story about a theme that has nothing to do with any good or true thing—it’s just gratuitous. For example, I see about sixty fanfics for Twisters (one of my new favorite movies, you may recall) and they’re all about Tyler (the main guy) needing to be defended from his abusive alcoholic dad.

There is no mention of his dad, or alcohol, or Tyler having any emotional trauma, at all, in Twisters. Because the point of the movie Twisters is the girl character’s trauma (and her best friend’s,) and Tyler’s role in all of that is to be the guy who pushes her past that. Because he’s lived a lifestyle of “you ride your fears, you don’t run from them, you don’t even just face them.”

So why would a character who’s whole conception, who was created to say that, be curled up in a sad little miserable ball because his out-of-nowhere made-up father is back in town? He wouldn’t do that. His lifestyle is “ride your fears.” He’d be the guy reaching out and inviting his dad to lunch to see if something he does can make the outcome different, even though his dad never shows up, or always makes a scene, or whatever, because that would be “riding his fears.” That’s Tyler’s character. So why would you have him curl into a little ball and need his 126-lb girlfriend to defend him?

I’ll tell you why, it’s because the point of your story was not the point of Twisters, or anything good. The point of your story was, “I have a thing for emotional scenes where a man gets all weak and vulnerable and needs his love interest to take care of him,” and it shows. So you just hung skin-puppets and names of established characters on “your thing” and that’s trash storytelling. The characters are supposed to serve the story, and the story is supposed to serve the audience, not serve you.

That would be an extreme example of what not to do.

And then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the game and I've thought up?

If my fanfic is all about Sam and Five coming clean about their feelings together, that’s fine—but they should be driven to do that because not doing that is selfish. And selfishness is the opposite of “something greater than yourself is all that’s worth living and dying for.” So I’d have Sam avoid admitting to himself that Five means so much to him because if he does, he opens himself up to crippling worry after what happened to Alice. So out of fear, which is ultimately self-protection, he doesn’t admit that he has feelings for her. But then eventually he comes to realize that caring about someone else actually drives him to work harder for the Greater Good, etc.

See what I mean? Your fanfic can be a string of scenes of will-they-won’t-they, romcom popcorn, as long as the thread holding them together is that character arc that points back to the game’s main theme.

To make it well-written, you just have to be genuine. I know everyone has lots of good tips like “show don’t tell” but books like Jane Eyre tell much more than they show. Some people say, “break up the pace with dialogue,” or “cut the tension with comedy, then ramp it back up,” etc., but there’s no cut to the tension in Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. There’s breaks to every rule. There’s an audience for every style. Just do what C. S. Lewis says and “tell the truth, without caring two pence if it’s original.”

If you know your source material and love the loveable parts for what it is, and then you marry that with what you really believe and value in the real world, you’ll get it.

Know what you’re trying to say, love what you’re trying to say, and sacrifice to say it.

I think now that you’re thinking about this stuff, you’re going to have a hard time not writing something morally good, with entertainment as a supporting pillar.

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Liberals are showing again that for them genocide is not a red line and they will continue to say that Trump will be worse for Palestine… Because it is clear that genocide is not bad enough for them to criticize their own party for supplying weapons to Israel

Seriously, being so blinded by the party of politicians and believing every lie they lie shows that liberals shouldn't even be allowed to vote because they believe every empty word a politician says…

But what should we expect from people who think that doing almost nothing is enough? Hello, what has Biden done for LGBT+ people and people trapped at the border? He was supposed to get rid of the wall, but he didn't, and he also supplies weapons to Israel (Same Harris), but for you, genocide would only be bad if Trump was to blame…

But what do you expect from people who are detached from reality and call everyone Russian trolls and use the text "Trump will be worse" (which is fucking cynical in the context of fucking genocide), or have the nerve to call someone stupid when they believe in the empty promises of fucking politicians

Choosing the lesser evil is still choosing evil, it shouldn't be promoted as a solution and it sucks that liberals are so closed in their own world that they can accept that their politicians are complicit in genocide as long as they consider them a lesser evil and that's it sucks, especially that liberals don't care about genocide as long as it is convenient in political matters for people to vote for their beloved party, and everyone who is critical suddenly becomes war criminals for them (Even though they choose the party that supports Israel and is Zionist…)

Harris is a bad person (For you, her silencing the strikers with a text about Trump should be a fucking red flag), she has a history of supporting Israel (Colonizer, propagandist and genocidal), so the fact that you are so naive that you believe that electing her will lead to a breakup US relationship with Israel is so fucking naive (And yes, you are stupid yourself because you bought the lies) that the fact that you promote it as fact shows how much you believe in propaganda

You liberals are simply the last ones to call others stupid and evil, because you are that way yourself

Now that I have your attention:

[waitmyturtles]

Jumping into the Cooking Crush familial fray...

I've lately been a bit behind on all my dramas, but I did see percolating over the weekend a great conversation among drama friends and fiends about interpretations of Asian parenting tactics, family values, interfamily communication, and intergenerational trauma regarding Cooking Crush.

This past weekend's episode 11 seemed to bring up a lot. I feel like one of my Reasons for Being on Tumblr is to share thoughts on Asian family dynamics, structures, and tensions regarding our beloved Asian dramas, so I am simply going to add a few extra thoughts to @neuroticbookworm's absolutely FANTASTIC post here that meditates on the ongoing conflict between Ten and his father.

Before I jump into NBW's amazing post, I want to linky-poo some previous writing that I've done on Asian cultural touchpoints in other shows:

Poor Bad Buddy got the Asian analytical treatment here and here

Only Friends and Mew's lesbian moms being Asian moms first, here

A meditation specifically on BBS's Dissaya and saving face, here (which, in regards to her conflict with Ming, we should note, directly led to her literally sending her son physically away from her to continue the family feud)

When I watch our beloved Asian shows, as an Asian-American, I am clicking unconsciously into certain assumptions about how Asian parents and children WILL behave when parents are called for in a show (I emphasized this specifically in my OF piece about Mew's moms). I expect there to be either filial piety present, or struggles with it. I expect to see elder hierarchy and/or issues with elder respect. I expect to see issues regarding saving face. I expect to see issues regarding conditional love, and how a child should act so a parent may boast and/or save face with their external social circles. I expect to see issues regarding independence and parental control over... just about everything in a child's life, from their education to their partners. (Think of King's parents in Bed Friend, and how his parents were ready to arrange a marriage for him; Tian's parents sending him to America in A Tale of Thousand Stars, etc.)

Shows that DON'T deal with these issues -- shows that have wonderfully understanding parents, like Thun's mom in He's Coming To Me, and Pete's dad in Dark Blue Kiss, are also realistic, because of course, nothing is universal, and there are understanding and unconditionally loving parents in every culture.

But most of the Asian shows that we watch have themes like filial piety and elder respect/control present, and it's up to the show's writers to figure out how these elements play into the plots that they're writing.

Through @neuroticbookworm's post, I see that some in the Cooking Crush fandom are calling for Ten's dad to apologize for his hypocrisy in calling Ten out for hitting Chang Ma, while we have seen Ten's dad slapping Ten.

I want to get into how Ten engages with his father in a second, because it's pretty rare in Asian shows to see a child so directly combative, so consistently, with a parent figure. But before that, NBW makes an excellent point with the following:

But, I understand it when my friends, and Asian characters in TV shows, don’t want to force things out in the open if it can be swept under the rug for the time being, because peace of mind in Asian households is fleeting and you would be wise to take what you get.

This is a very important point that those of us in the social services are hammered with -- in other words, how do individuals, as they are growing up, adjust their behaviors to keep the stability of their family bonds either strong, or at least not weak enough to break? How does a child learn to adapt and/or cope for the sake of the other older individuals in their families who DEMAND compliance with their own emotional needs?

Ten has a combative relationship with his father -- but he's still done everything his father has asked for, save for staying away from Prem. As @respectthepetty previously noted, Fire becomes submissive around pressure and high-tension individuals and situations -- because that's how he's learn to cope vis à vis his mother and his upbringing.

This framing -- these specific, generational, tension-informed family dynamics that we see ad nauseam in Asian dramas -- do not lead to an automatic assumption among Asian audiences that apologies would emanate from the parental generation. Especially because the previous generational paradigm is that children have and should go along with the flow of parental control and demands -- as Ten and Fire have so far done.

In Asian collectivist societies and mentalities -- to combat against that flow of control would lead to a breaking of the peace among the family unit, in NBW's words.

I would even go so far as to say that an apology from a parent is as much of a fictional ending fantasy as a perfect romantic ending. And damn, what we have to go through to get an apology. NBW brought up Double Savage, which was so awfully messy -- we got a parental apology only after a not-at-fault child had to unnecessarily apologize first. The show made the children work beyond basic emotional ethics to get that parental apology. That's how rare it is for us Asians to expect a parent to apologize. (And NBW notes so beautifully that even showmakers themselves may not know how to write apologies -- because they themselves may have never received one in real life.)

Considering all these family dynamics and tensions, getting a 180-degree admission of wrongdoing from an Asian parent is rare. And part of the fabric of the lives of us Asians is in sharing stories with our communities about the tensions, the trauma, the misunderstandings that we've faced from our families to be perfect and obedient in all aspects of our lives, as NBW so eloquently says about her country's culture, which includes tremendous control over the sexual lives of children. That's why I go to Asian shows over Western media -- so that I can experience some of that communing over commonalities in fiction.

I want to make one final quick point about Ten's behavior towards his dad, which we see is abrupt and combative. Ten's got some gumption to talk to his father like that, which, me likey, but it's rare to see in Asian shows. Of utmost importance to note is that their history is marked by a severely traumatic event in the death of Ten's mom, which is guaranteed to have had a lifelong impact on the bond between Ten and his dad, and colors their relationship. I know that's obvious by way of the dialogue, but what we see in this outburst is a kind of marked ending to a journey map of his life's experience that got him to the point of the fight. (@neuroticbookworm, I'm stealing your screenshots, thank yew, friend!)

This fight had A LOT IN IT. It was about saving face, about the embarrassment that Ten's dad knows the slapping event will cause on Ten and Ten's friends (and, frankly, Ten's dad himself). It was about Ten's childhood trauma in losing his mother and his anger with his father for his father's actions. It was a revelation that Ten's dad had actually acted, in his own way, and failed at saving Ten's mom. It was about Ten's performance in school, and how Ten says that he has indeed been keeping up with his father's standards. And a whole lot more.

I'm betting money on at least some people -- maybe many people -- in Asian audiences watching this and being critical of Ten for being so combative to his father, his father being Ten's provider for education and money. THIS CRITICISM IS VERY COMMON.

While Western fandoms may celebrate performances of individualism and confrontation, many in Asian audiences will not agree with that. They will see Ten being disrespectful to a parental figure that, in our cultural mores, would arguably automatically demand respect from the start through our notions of elder respect and hierarchy.

This is, in part, because many Asians see going against the flow of familial peace as disruptive. And, anthropologically -- who are we in the West to judge that?

That's why this scene is SO FUCKING HUGE. As an American, I'm like, fuck yeah, read this fucking dad out for filth. As an Asian, I'm like, WHOAAAAAAAAAA. For real.

AND? THE ENDING of this fight -- with Ten's dad making one actually good point about how Ten's punch will affect his friends?

That's collectivism again. That's Ten's dad helping Ten to grow in that moment and recognize that Ten's actions affect other people. That shit is complicated, and I believe it's 100% intended to be complicated.

The dad is still clearly a hypocrite. I do not think that we get that entire fight scene without the show commenting on Ten's dad's hypocrisy that one's actions have impacts on others. Ten's dad is not clicked into his own collectivism, and I believe the show calls him out for it. If that scene only wanted to call out Ten -- we would have only seen that last part about Prem and Prem's friends. We would not have gotten all that other backstory, all the threads in this incredible fight scene.

It was a hell of a well-done scene. And I very much believe that scene is symbolic of this entire show -- marketed as a comedy, friends! -- being insidiously about very complicated family bonds, and depicting the struggles of these bonds just brilliantly.

This show is DIGGING THE HELL into the family backgrounds of characters experiencing tremendous life changes -- including MEDICAL STUDENTS! THE CREAM OF THE CROP FOR ASIAN PARENTS! -- and showing how these pressures can make young adults crumble or resilient.

I didn't mean to write so long, but alas -- y'all talk about Asian families, and I gotta yap. Thank you for letting me throw some coins in the pot, and to offer some thoughts about what us Asians are clicking into in our beloved Asian shows.

Tagging @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @respectthepetty, @heretherebedork, and @williamrikers for enlightening convos this weekend, and many thanks to my dear Asian friendo @neuroticbookworm for one hell of a meditation that I enjoyed and related to deeply.

[justine1268]

Genuine Question About Broppy getting Children In The Future... (long rant incoming)

Am I the only one who really wouldn't like an accidental/"surprise"/ unexpected/unwanted/unplanned/unintended Broppy child in future canon and who isn't really all that overjoyed about the idea of them having one in the future in general? I want to know.

I kind of feel like the only one because I haven't seen anyone else be so genuinely confused as to why the first situation is such a widespread and beloved thing in the fandom. If you do, please feel free to let me know what you find so appealing about it, because I'm not so sure I understand in all honesty and I want to get it.

I want to say that I really don't mean to come across as rude or hateful towards anyone who created Broppy children that would fit into the current canon who were unplanned! I just want to give my own perspective on it and why I personally feel iffy about that scenario.

A lot of my opinion here is also related to my personal attachment towards the ship itself. It's the first one I've had and for more than 7 years at the time of writing this, they've consistently been part of my life during this time. It's the ship I've been invested in the most.

The reason why I'm worried about this is because in Shrek, an other DreamWorks franchise, him and his wife had unexpected children. If they decide to make an other story like this:

Branch and Poppy is one of their few romantic relationships from ongoing franchises and a very popular one at the moment, so it could be with them.

There's a multitude of reasons why I rather have them want and desire a child before it happens and also to have it be almost a last part of the franchise addition. Like, one of the last things we get out of their relationship.

If it happens accidentally, depending on the context, it could likely be because they weren't careful. I feel like this is especially out of Branch's character. We know one of his major traits is making things the safest possible, he's hectic whenever something could be trouble. I think he probably would put action to avoid getting an unwanted egg as much as he could. We know Poppy can be kind of reckless, but she listens to Branch now and I don't think she is enough to not do any prevention and roll with it. She loves to throw herself head first into danger, but when she truly thinks she'll be okay. If she knows her own safety or well-being are really at risk, she takes it more seriously.

Obviously, putting characters through tough situations is the whole point of a storyline, but when it comes to them getting a child, it is something that (I'm assuming because we don't really know much about that yet) they CAN or at least should be able to control so...I think they should.

I don't want them having a toddler to get in the way of their relationship. I want lots more of just them two. A toddler, unless they don't show up for much, would take up a lot of moments that would otherwise be only with them. I want to get a lot more moments of solely them and focusing on their relationship with each other before a baby comes in!

Their characters, if, let's say, an infant or egg is with them during most events of a movie, I believe would be reduced to having to meet their needs. They're now tied down to needing to care for them and they lose that freedom they currently have. They'll have to be like "Ah, no, can't do that, got a baby." I don't want that.

I find it still way too early in canon for them to have children and that they should really be able to enjoy their time together and with their loved ones for now. Considering all Branch has gone through and the years he spent alone, being at such a low point, I don't want him to have the added responsibility, stress and worries of a parent so soon. I want him to be able to just have good times and hang out with his friends, girlfriend and family.

Both him and Poppy are so busy already, not to mention Branch is a person who really needs alone time. Give him a baby and that's going to be a whole lot harder.

It doesn't even seem to me like it's something they want in the future for now. Branch wants to marry Poppy, we already know that, but neither of them have ever mentioned wanting to have kids someday. Poppy already works with little trolls and loves it, but she has never said she wants one herself someday. Branch doesn't seem like it's crossing his mind. All he wants is to be Poppy's significant other.

I don't want a "surprise" Broppy kid and not know what went wrong or why it was so. If it's like Shrek, they'll leave that part ambiguous and I am not going to be happy about that. If they're going down that road, I at least want to know if they were intending on being careful at all. (Obviously brought up in a way that's appropriate for PG content).

Kids being raised by parents who didn't want them to arrive isn't ideal to me. Yes, parents can have regrets on deciding to have children in a way down the line and it doesn't mean they'll do a bad job, I agree the ship would make awesome parents, but it can be a lot more difficult thanks to that.

Look. I love the idea of them having little ones someday, I really do! I just wish it to happen way later on in the timeline than now, and most of all, I seriously want them to intend and want to have a baby before they do (we'll likely know if it's accidental, since, like I said, they did that in Shrek).

Scenarios I'd appreciate in canon:

1- They get married or just engaged in whichever next installment we'll get or stay only a couple and have a child or children that they planned on having years later.

2- They adopt a child/children which they either stumble upon or meet at an orphanage. They still look like their own, their colors being a sort of mix between Branch and Poppy's possible colors and being pop trolls (honestly, my favorite idea for a Broppy child).

3- It arrives at least a couple years after their romantic relationship has started (either still a committed couple, engaged or married), it wasn't intended or expected at all, from an unknowingly failed appropriate prevention method. They would be suggested the opportunity to abort, but they choose to keep their egg/eggs that resulted and raise them.

Scenarios I don't want:

1- It's a Shrek The Third 2.0 where it's left very ambiguous what happened with any time jump or none.

2- Unwanted egg from not trying to prevent it, no time jump at all. They have to raise their child/children as the early official couple they are now.

3- A baby/babies they didn't want and weren't careful for with a truly effective method, years or not after they're made official.

4- The child wasn't really wanted from both sides. Either one of them wasn't actually happy about the idea.

If we mostly get content of them out of the newborn stage (between about 5-18 years old), we get to know them once they already have built a personality. The child also has some amount of autonomy so the parents won't have to impose as much and we can still get only them both interacting pretty often. Kind of like in How To Train Your Dragon where Nuffink and Zephyr were already kids when we met them.

I think that's the idea I'd enjoy the most. Branch and Poppy wouldn't be tied down as much(also yes I'd want to see them getting older. Something so bittersweet in seeing a long time ship of mine age together...chef's kiss with that.) I'd get attached to the child a lot more easily as a character and I'd just love to see how the couple handles their youth.

Like I said: I do see lots of positives. I love the idea of them getting a child to build sweet, deep bonds with. The idea of caring, super invested dad Branch makes me melt. Him getting through that has something that can beautiful and powerful considering his story. It adds another person for him to love. A lot of wholesomeness and emotions to be explored! It can bring more to his relationship with Poppy as well! A supportive dynamic that's always ready to advise each other and to work through when it gets harder...yeah. It's simply great! It's a good foundation for a child to grow up on.

I just have some preferences for how it happens. Thank you for reading my long opinion piece!

[thisguyric]

How I Love

freedom. connection. joy.

This is a personal reflection — a snapshot of how I see love and relationships, based on what I know so far and what I’m still learning. I don’t expect it to resonate with everyone. But it’s what feels true and right for me.

I’m exploring solo polyamory, which for me means valuing autonomy and not seeking to merge lives or identities with partners, even in deep or ongoing relationships. I’m also drawn to relationship anarchy, which questions the idea that love must follow predefined scripts — like couplehood, hierarchy, or exclusivity — and instead encourages intentional, self-defined ways of relating.

I’m not here to tell anyone how they should love or connect. What I am doing is naming how I love — or at least how I aspire to — especially because the ways I relate don’t follow conventional templates.

Love (to Me)

Love isn’t scarce. It’s not something I run out of by giving more of it to someone else. My love for my second kid didn’t decrease my love for my first kid. Love is not something I can only give to a few special people in a few specific ways. Love is a presence, a current, a practice. I can love someone and also love others. I can love someone and not want a particular kind of relationship with them. I can love someone and still choose myself.

The kind of love I value shows up as honesty, presence, kindness, shared joy and pleasure, mutual care, and respect for each other’s wholeness. It can look romantic, sexual, platonic, familial or some blending of all of that. It’s real because we say it is — not because of what we call it or how we structure it.

What I Value in Relationships

What I want from any intimate relationship is not permanence or exclusivity — it’s depth, honesty, playfulness, presence, and mutual acceptance. I want relationships where we care about each other not by holding on tightly, but by showing up thoughtfully. I want to be seen, appreciated, respected, and enjoyed — and I want to give the same in return. I want to laugh together. To cry together and hold each other. To take pleasure in the time we spend together, in whatever form it takes.

The relationships I build have different shapes. Some may be romantic, some sexual, some platonic, and many will blur those lines. What they all have in common is a commitment to honesty, mutuality, and conscious choice.

What I Don’t Accept

I don’t accept the idea that there’s one correct way to structure a relationship. I don’t believe in defaults. I don’t believe in unquestioned assumptions. I don’t believe that exclusivity, merging finances, living together, or being a “couple” are inherently signs of love or commitment. They can be — but only if consciously chosen.

For me, love has nothing to do with possession. I reject entitlement to someone’s body, time, or attention. I don’t accept the scarcity mindset that says love for one person subtracts from love for another. I reject hierarchies where some relationships are more real or valuable because of a label, a status, or a structure. I don’t accept the idea that loving someone means limiting what they can do with other people.

Commitment

Commitment, for me, means showing up in the ways we’ve said we will. It means honoring the agreements we make. That’s it. Not forever. Not exclusivity. Not entanglement. Commitment is contextual. It’s not about being committed to a person — it’s about committing to ways of relating. I used to think commitment had to mean permanence or sacrifice. Now I’m learning it can be something we write ourselves. If we’ve agreed to offer each other emotional support, to spend quality time together each week, or to celebrate important moments in each other’s lives, I’ll do all I can to make that happen. And if something needs to change — if we want to revise our agreements to better reflect what we want or need — we’ll talk about it and figure it out.

Change and Endings

Relationships change. Sometimes they deepen. Sometimes they shift. Sometimes they end. Ideally, I want to cultivate relationships that can evolve without resentment. I want honest, ongoing conversations that make space for change, even if it hurts. I want to care for each other well enough that we want what’s best for each other — even when that means letting go.

Every relationship ends one way or another. Staying until death isn’t inherently more meaningful than parting ways when life asks something different of us. I don’t see ending as failure. I see it as part of the natural life cycle of human connection.

Sex

I really like sex. Casual sex, deeply connected sex — all of it can be meaningful in different ways. Sex can help build connection for me. But it isn’t a necessity. I can imagine having an intimate romantic relationship that isn’t sexual — for example, with an asexual partner — and I have had deeply connected platonic relationships that include sex.

Sex is a form of play, of intimacy, of mutual enjoyment and care. Not a requirement, not a currency, not a marker of hierarchy. But sexual compatibility does matter to me if sex is going to be part of the relationship. Mismatches in desire or style can be challenging. But again, that’s something to talk about, not something to fear.

Autonomy and Care

Autonomy matters deeply to me. I don’t want to lose myself in a relationship, and I don’t want anyone else to lose themselves either. At the same time, I care — a lot. And I know that sometimes care can drift toward caretaking or codependence. I’m learning to ask: what’s mine to do? And what’s theirs? I’m learning to embrace the discomfort that is often an inextricable part of respecting each other’s autonomy.

I believe I can be deeply connected to someone and still be fully myself. I want that for both of us.

Jealousy

Jealousy isn’t a sin or a failure. It’s a signal. To me, jealousy is usually fear — fear of losing someone, or of being left out or left behind. But instead of facing our own fear, we blame others. That’s where the trouble starts. No one else is to blame. We create our own fears from the stories we tell about ourselves, our partners, and our relationships.

I try to meet jealousy with curiosity and care. What do I really need? Maybe reassurance. Maybe time together. Maybe just space to feel what I feel. What I don’t need is to control my partner. If I’m afraid, I want to be comforted by what my relationship with my partner includes, not by what my partner’s other relationships exclude. I want to live in a world where we treat jealousy as a teacher, not a reason to restrict someone’s freedom.

I think we need to examine the cultural narratives that have conditioned us to see love through a lens of scarcity — stories that often serve systems like capitalism and patriarchy, systems we didn’t choose and don’t benefit from. Love isn’t a pie. We’ve just been told it is.

Loving Me

If you want to love me well, know this:

I value honesty over niceness. Just say it. I can handle it. We’ll talk it out.

I look strong. And I am strong. But that doesn’t mean I’m invulnerable. As Ted Lasso told us, “Be curious, not judgmental.”

If you hurt me, I’ll talk to you about it and how to do better next time. We all mess up every now and then. But I won’t stay where I’m not safe. 

If we’re not right for each other, that’s alright. I won’t stay just to stay — and I don’t want you to either. I’ll leave if I need to, and I hope you will too. We’ll both be okay.

I don’t believe in forever. Now is all we can know. Everything ends eventually. I believe in love that’s real, even if it’s temporary.

I’m wary of entanglements that are hard to unwind. Things like marriage, shared property, or even living together. Not because they’re bad, but because they can trap us in relationships that no longer serve us.

I won’t let a relationship hold me back from the life I want. I don’t want you to either.

Life has been both brutal and beautiful. I want to live it fully now. I want to love and be loved, openly and abundantly.

Why I’m Doing This

I’m finding my way — not by following a map, but by staying close to what feels honest, intentional, and real. I’m working in and around the frameworks of solo polyamory and relationship anarchy, but mostly, I’m just trying to show up in ways that make me feel grounded in who I am.

This reflection is how I make sense of what I want and what I offer, and I’m sure I’ll be revising it from time to time, the more I learn about myself and how I love. Writing it out helps me be clear with myself — and with anyone who might want to love me, spend time with me, or build something alongside me. My relationships may be unconventional, but they are full of meaning. I care deeply, and I want the people I love to feel seen, held, and free — because I don’t know anything more loving than that.

[the-loststone]

List of Turkish Dramas I've watched from Loved to didn't love Part 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Hudutsuz Sevda

My opening for another phase of turkish dizis and it was a great one. A high bar to open with, at least in the beginning. I love mafia shows so much!!!

To start: Season 1 was excellent, until the last five episodes where they ruined Zeynep's character by making her a self-sabotaging dummy. Season 2 was great for the most part but also kind of lost the plot a bit. S1 was definitely better than S2, but overall both kept me invested (although I did skip the amnesia plot in S2 - ep 48 and 49 piss me off so much!). Honestly it becomes rather comical by the end of the series all the relationship problems, so I began treating it more like a rom com. (Note: season 2 is ongoing as I'm writing this (almost done) and there are rumors of a third season, so I may add another review for this later).

This is a great show. I love, and I mean seriously love, Halil Ibrahim. He is seriously Husband of the Year. 10000000/10. The man is FIIIINE, and just wonderful. Every time something ridiculous happens and he's blamed, the look he get's like "I'm the victim WTF." I'm just like, "yes you are baby. I'm 100% on your side.". (Side note, Deniz is absolutely on my list of favorite turkish actors. His chemistry is outstanding!). And Zeynep was an amazing female lead. She's loving and assertive. If her character hadn't been half-assed by the end of s1 I would have been much happier. Unfortunately it was. But it is what it is. The supporting/other mains are also excellent. The entourage around Halil was one of the best I've seen in a while. You can immediately feel their bond from so many years and so much experience together. Oguz and Eda's love story was a beautiful addition. In comparison, Zeynep's family was so complicated and fun to watch. Fikret, whom I loved, is textbook older brother who is an exhausted idiot that's also surrounded by idiots. I love him. Elif had some of the best lines and I love her attitude. Other characters were amazing to watch and develop. The police officers and the mafias have such great banter, apart and together. They managed to give a lot of depth to these characters. And I think my favorite thing is that even when the characters are going down hill and making stupid decisions, the rest of the cast of characters are consistently bringing it up. (SPOILER example: everyone telling Zeynep that's she's being an idiot for testing his love all the time, and half the problems they currently have are because she was an idiot).

The action scenes were perfection! Honestly one of my biggest disappointments was that season 2 had fewer action scenes. I was basically just screaming at the screen like "Why haven't you killed this MF yet?" The beauty, the parallels in scenes, the music, all wonderful.

Anyway, a great series. I give it an 8.5/10.

Siyah Kalp

Ongoing as I'm writing this but I'm taking a pause on turkish dramas after this so I'm going to do my review now. I'm currently on episode 24.

I don't really have words for this drama. It confuses in that I really like some of the characters, like Melek, Noah, Tahsin and Sevilay. I feel meh about others, like Cihan, Sumru and Nihayeh. And then I can't describe how frustrating it is to watch the rest, specifically the decisions Cihan makes for his 'family' but really for his family's business.

It's a good show. Episodes 9 through 18 were great. And then it was sort of meh. Sevilay and Noah had the best chemistry. They are by far my favorite couple. The relationship between Melek and Cihan felt very forced to me, in comparison.

I did like that the show was focusing on how women survive sexual assault, or being abandoned. I like that the show focuses on children's relationship with their parents.

Overall I think it's worth a watch, but I do not think it should go on longer than 35 episodes, although I think it might. It's already getting to be a bit too drawn out.

Adim Farah

I actually watched this a while ago but forgot to write a review for it, so honestly I don't remember much about the plot - it was mafia/mafia adjacent, which I tend to like and it was rather serious. I did enjoy that it did have some (very little but it was still nice) Iranian culture mixed in since Demet plays an Iranian woman. While it was really just in the beginning, they did show the struggles of an immigrant. Demet is great in serious roles, and I think I like her better in those than in comedies.

Overall, it was good from what I remember about it.

Kader Baglari

Despite having two of my favorite actors leading, this was nothing to write about. And it was only five episodes where nothing is actually resolved because it was canceled.

[jacksonscouts]

Gather round, Scouts!

Let's meet @roselees, our Scout Spotlight winner! Feel free to say hello or give reactions in the comments. Now without further ado...😊

1. What was your first introduction to TLOU?

Is this when I confess I'm a relatively new fan? 🙈 I first played the game in about 2021 when I was looking on the PS Plus catalogue for something to play, and I've been hooked ever since!

Finding out there was a show was just an added bonus, even if streaming it here isn't super accessible. I wasn't necessarily the biggest fan of games in this genre so it was an accident I stumbled across it, but I'm very glad I did.

2. What would Joel's favorite girl scout cookie be?

3. What TLOU moment lives rent-free in your head?

None.. he's on Atkins ✋️.. my terrible show reference aside, in terms of an actual answer, I'm not from the States so my knowledge of girl-scout cookies is limited to pop culture but after a bit of googling:

I think he'd be kinda basic.. he's probably a thin-mints kind of guy. Whatever Sarah would buy, he'd probably sneak one when she went to bed, in typical dad fashion.

4. Any special talents?

Tess' goodbye in the game was an especially poignant moment because I went into it completely blind - I hadn't had any spoilers and had no idea what was coming. I'm a big fan of exploring different types of relationship and connections within media and so I really loved how they managed to essentially canonize how important Tess and Joel were to one another in that final scene without having either of them out and out /say/ it.

Something about the way in which their relationship is so clearly this unspoken bond built up over the years was really beautifully done and it really does occupy so much space it should be paying rent

And for the show - I'll keep it quick here because I've rambled enough - but definitely the scene where they first arrive in Jackson. I'm also a sucker for found family and I adore how it leans into that trope as well as showing the first instance of Ellie struggling with that new dynamic; it's the first real moment in canon where she goes from being a FEDRA orphanage kid to realising she could have a real home somewhere and all that entails.

I love how you can see that on her face when they get there and she's clearly awestruck by the most mundane things, yet is obviously also struggling with Tommy being effectively this newfound obstacle because she has no idea how his presence is going to shake up the - already turbulent - dynamic she's developing with Joel. Safe to say I have an awful lot of thoughts about those two scenes LMAO

I wouldn't say I'm a super talented person all things considered but I am quite proud of my writing! I've been in fandom spaces for a long time but it's only in recent years I've really been happy with the quality of the work I'm putting out there; it's just for fun, but - as most fic authors on here can vouch for - I put a lot of time and energy into making the plot and the characters tick ❤️ I'm also a historian, which isn't necessarily a talent but something I'm equally passionate about!

5. Would you like to promote anything?

I wouldn't mind promoting my ao3 to anyone whose interested in reading some more TLOU fics - I'm roselees over there too. I currently have an ongoing canon-divergence AU where Tess, Joel and Tommy raise baby Ellie (who they discover at the same time as the Fireflies is in fact still immune in this timeline) and I have several others in the works: a Sarah!lives AU, a part one rewrite following the original idea for the game wherein Tess is the antagonist, and some Jackson!Joel and Ellie shenanigans.

I'd also 100% recommend that if you're a part of the LGBT community or just otherwise an enthusiastic ally, if you want to check out the @tloupride blog run by me and @consultingzoologist, for the whole of pride month we've been reblogging posts that relate to the queer community and TLOU, as well as providing prompts for people to submit their own fanart and fics! We're hoping to keep the blog up as an archive of LGBT pride within the fandom so if you're interested, be sure to check it out ❤️

[gamesception]

Sception reads Cass Cain #16

Batgirl (2000) #4, ongoing discussion story: Peterson & Puckett art: Scott and Campanella

There's a kind of simplified narrative that's grown up in discussions of Cassandra Cain in terms of how things went wrong and who's to blame. Because by the time Cass is strutting around the pages of Robin as a generic and vaguely racist Dragon Lady villain things have obviously gone wrong, and I don't think any Cass happenings before the reboot can really be thought of as 'going right' again. It's tempting to just blame Beechen, the writer tasked with authoring the infamous heel turn. It's even more tempting to blame DiDio, the editor in chief who tasked Beechen with the job, who famously disliked legacy heroes in general for how they 'aged' their predecessors. Certainly Beechen should have done more research before writing Cass, and you won't ever catch me defending DiDio's tenure as chief editor of DC. But the simple narrative that everything was great with Cass until DiDio and Beechen ruined her out of nowhere is glossing over a lot of mistakes that happened before that.

The league of assassins retcon that needlessly overcomplicated her backstory; sending her to Bludhaven with nothing to do there and all her important story arcs and character relationships left unresolved in Gotham; the flanderization of David Cain that kicked the foundation of her character out from under her; the mishandling of her relationship with Babs. And the first big mistake happens right here in issue 4, in the very earliest days of her ongoing, with her original creative team still at their height.

Years back, when I looked her first introduction in Batman (1940) #567, I talked about how the decisions to make Cassandra mostly mute set her and her stories apart, making them unique in the comics landscape. I'm convinced that Cass's writing team was mostly aiming at what this did for her stories in terms of the comic medium - by forcibly restricting the use of words to tell the story, it put the emphasis back on the art, not just to convey what was happening but also what the main character was thinking or feeling about it.

Even in that initial introduction, there was a sequence where whole pages went by without any words at all. It was unique, it was different, creative, it exercised the unique aspects of the comic book medium.

What I don't think Peterson, Puckett, and Scott considered as strongly is what it meant in terms of Cass as a character with a disability, something the mainstream superhero comics landscape really doesn't have enough of, and in particular something that connected her to Barbara Gordon as the previous Batgirl, at the time still in the wheelchair acting as Oracle. I've alluded a bit to how Cass and Bab's respective disabilities, one physically gifted but linguistically impaired and the other physically limited but the master of communication for the bat family, makes them perfectly matched as superhero partners but also sets up an interpersonal conflict between them as each kind of becomes a personal avatar representing what the other lacks.

And while that is there in the book, the creative team is clearly so much more invested in Cass's relationship with Bruce and the whole the whole Bruce/David/Cass dynamic of fatherhood and guilt and violence - and in terms of that plot thread Babs mostly exists to offer a better life of sincere human connection, if only to add a note of tragedy as Cass inevitably throws herself deeper into Bruce & David's mirrored lives of violence and isolation.

But Cass is Batgirl, so it would have been nice if the creators put more effort and page time into her relationship with the previous Batgirl, and the disability angle was the best way to do so, and at some point, on some level, Peterson & Puckett did understand this.

After all, it's how Cass was originally introduced. Sure she struggled, but despite seeming nearly impossible, with Barbara's help she was making progress none the less.

Special thanks to StephanieBrowntheSpoiler for pointing this bit out, as I had missed the connection between these scenes when I looked at this issue way back when.

Also look at bad sad dad David here, crying, overwhelmed at the thought that his daughter might be able to speak to and understand him, like he's been blessed by some divine miracle, even though he's literally the reason she couldn't speak in the first place. Such a shame that over time his character would be reduced from this compelling ball of contradictions to a flat generic villain. But that's a rant for another day.

Anyway, Cass as a mute protagonist is a big deal, both for internal story reasons (connection to and conflict with the previous Batgirl) and external reasons (representation as a disabled hero, unique use of the comic medium). And more besides - thematic ties with her emotional and personal isolation, which in turn ties in to her full face covering spooky costume design, and so on.

...

So you'd think I'd just object outright to the writers just having Cass learn to speak, and honestly I kind of do, but I also have some sympathy on this front, because as I've also repeatedly pointed out making Cass mute presented unique difficulties that arguably outweighed the benefits, particularly given the collaborative nature of mainstream superhero comics.

A mute protagonist puts a lot of weight on the artists ability to convey personality and emotion through facial expression and honestly not many artists were up to the challenge, especially with Cass's full face covering mask. This put serious limits on her cross-over presence which in term limited her presence and appeal for general DC comic or bat book fans who weren't specifically Cass fans following her in her own book. Sadly giving Cass the ability to speak didn't end up improving this much, I can't blame P&P for trying.

On the representation angle there were also issues, as Cass wasn't just a rare disabled hero but also a relatively rare east-asian hero, certainly within the bat books, and being mute meant she often fell into a silent subservient ninja girl cliche in the guest appearances she did get, which isn't exactly ideal either.

...

So yeah, I can absolutely see reasons why Peterson and Puckett might have decided that nearly-fully-mute Cass was in retrospect a mistake and why they needed to change it, but that doesn't stop me from hating how they did so. Which basically amounts to 'a wizard did it.'

This is terrible for a couple reasons. First of all, a key part of the tone of Cass Cain's batgirl is the grounded, low fantasy, 'street level' focus. Remember the one rule?

No costumed criminals. No supervillains. No wacky sci-fi shenanigans. Not because any of that stuff is bad - all of that stuff is great! But it's also antithetical to the smaller, more personal, more human stories that the Batgirl creative team was aiming for, stories like the one we saw in issue 2. But now that grounded tone is always going to have the specter of this random psychic wizard guy floating over it, making his presence known with every thought bubble and speech balloon.

Worse, Cass learning to speak was important. It meant something. Remember again how she was introduced:

Struggling, with her own effort, with Bab's help, making slow progress, but making progress, and making it together. This plot thread was the emotional and narrative backbone of the two Batgirls' relationship, and only four issues in Peterson and Puckett are throwing the entire plot in the garbage.

The writers will try to keep a version of it going with Cass still being unable to read, that doesn't carry half the weight of being unable to speak or understand words, which is probably why the writers very infrequently bother to bring it up, and it never gets a satisfying resolution - she learns to read off panel while evil from another wizard and once she's good again we just never speak of her as a disabled hero any more.

What I keep coming back to is that this is something Cass and Babs should have achieved together, not something hand-waved away by a wizard. If the writers decided that Cass being non-verbal was more trouble than it was worth and needed to be resolved quickly instead of agonizingly slowly over the course of her ongoing, then Cass & Babs should have found a believable breakthrough themselves.

...

And while I'm treading dangerously close to 'fix it fic' territory, there was such an obvious break through they could have used right there that I can't help from bringing it up. Because if fictional mute human Cass has such a hard time learning to speakbecause her brain was trained to interpret gestures and movement instead of spoken words, well, there just so happens to a language communicated by gestures and movement instead of spoken words, one in common use by actual mute people right here in the real world.

Yeah, duh, right? Hell, we've already seen Cass using hand gestures to convey meaning in a sign-language-adjacent fashion in issue 2

And again here in issue 4

Just, like, have a scene where Barbara's had a frustrating teaching session with Cass, maybe she's complaining about it to Dick or someone while sitting around outside, and she happens to notice somebody signing and has a eureka moment. Or maybe Cass rescues someone who signs and they try to sign 'thank you', and Cass is able to understand them from context and body language and realizes the gestures are a way of talking and she just gets it, and then she can excitedly go to Babs, that works too, though I'd be more inclined to give the little victory realization moment to Babs since she gets so few victories in this book.

And of course Babs will already be fluent in ASL because that's something that would be believable even if it hasn't already been established somewhere that I don't know, and suddenly they start making progress quickly, knowing ASL can help her learn to at least understand more spoken words more quickly even if actually speaking stays awkward and difficult due to never training those muscles during her development. Breakthrough in one issue, Cass frantically learning signs and making progress faster progress understanding spoken words the next, and by two issues later you can have Cass talking in speech bubbles or narration boxes implicitly translated from sign to written English the way comics do for any other language.

Plus, you could have cute domestic scenes of the other Bats learning ASL to talk with Cass, the kind of thing that really would make her feel more like part of the Bat Family.

The fact that, as far as I can remember, the concept of sign language is never mentioned in Cass Cain's stories, in or out of her solo title, is the kind of thing that makes me think her original creators never thought of her inability to speak in terms of disability representation, because if they thought about actual mute humans even once while conceptualizing this 'mute hero who understands body language instead of the spoken word' then the way actual mute humans use a language spoken in body movements to communicate would have come up. Like, at all.

....

Of course, I'm not the first to suggest Cass be fluent in ASL, as an alternative to psychic wizards or otherwise. It's a common enough fanon thing that it even has some pretty well reasoned push back:

Sure, Cass learning ASL super fast wouldn't be realistic, because yes, ASL is a lot more complicated than just pantomime gestures, it's an entire language, and learning any language would be an agonizingly slow process for someone who grew up without any. And yeah, ASL isn't one to one signs to English, so learning ASL wouldn't necessarily make learning to understand spoken English any faster or easier. Though I would counter that /part/ of Cass's difficulty learning to speak, separate from her brain's difficulty processing language, is that her audio processing wasn't trained to distinguish the particular sounds of speech and her mouth was never trained to produce them - this is referenced in this issue in that even though she can understand and think in english after the wizard changed her brain, she still can't speak it herself yet. Her brain would still have difficulty processing sign language, but her eyes and hands wouldn't have any trouble seeing and reproducing it.

But realism really isn't the important part here. The exact nature of Cass's disability is already tied up in her unrealistic upbringing and, for lack of any better terms, super powers. Those powers allowing Cass to pick up ASL unnaturally fast at least has some grounding within the unrealistic aspects that have already been established for her character - certainly more so than a random psychic guy just magicking spoken English into her brain. Because that's the alternative. If it were entirely up to me I would have preferred Cass continue to struggle with Babs' help as she slowly learns to communicate over the course of several years rather than all at once in issue 4. This hypothetical 'sign language communication breakthrough' proposal is based purely on the assumption that the writers had already decided wordless Cass was just too difficult.

And at least this would be Cass and Babs achieving communication together through their efforts - however arbitrarily abridged - rather than their core character driving plot line being magicked away.

........................

Geeze, looking back this post is very negative, and I don't like that. As much as I think this decision was completely wrong headed, as many issues as I take with Batgirl #4, it's still her original team in their prime, so there's still a lot nice to be said about it. This post is too long already, but I wanted to end off buy saying stuff I liked about the issue, and I don't want to spend a third post just on issue 4, so here's a lightning round of compliments.

The two panel spread of the psychic guy touching Cass's head and her martial arts turning into the word 'TALK' is so good. Like, I hate the storytelling move here, I hate what these pages mean for the narrative, but the execution is fantastic.

The transition between these scenes, where Bruce is devastated trying to tell Alfred about the video and Alfred's like 'you're bleeding, whatever it is you're worried about can wait' before Alfred sees the video, and then after compulsive parent Alfred is all focused on the little kid in the video while annoyed bruce is left to tend his wounds on his own? This is a cute little bit for both of these characters and it always makes me smile.

This whole page is great. Cass celebrating a successful mission by going out to do more work, the goofy smile and fist to the forehead 'hard headed' bit, Babs worrying over Cass, the level of clutter and detail on oracle's desk, the bricks and all. Babs balling her fist over the live mic to talk to Cass as she heads out. Those big boxy yellow pouches on Cass's belt - have I talked about how much I love those, and how important they are to the look of the costume? The way they break up the otherwise too much black with a nice spot of color in the middle, add some visible weight to what is otherwise a very ethereal and acrobatic character design. Anyway, just, this whole page, great stuff.

The contrast between effortlessly taking down multiple armed goons early in the issue, vs. her comedic, even cartoonishly goofy loss to the random mercenary lady after the psychic wizard magicked her body reading super power into talky words, leaving her effectively defenseless. That 'Oohf' face as she takes the first punch is hilarious. Also, hey, those pouches again.

...

There's a lot more I like about this issue, but yeah, post too long already. Even if this team is doing things I don't agree with, they're still doing those things /well/. And it's not like anything done in this issue ruins Cass's character or book outright. It's a faltering step in a wrong direction, and sadly only the first of many, but in the mean time the stuff that's great is still great here. And the issue ends off promising some serious personal drama, both with Bruce leaving to confront David Cain and with Cass struggling to comprehend her first real defeat. I'm eager to get to that stuff, and leave my complaints about issue 4 behind.

[doux-amer]

I forgot to do my favorite reads of last year so...here it is almost a month late. I excluded ongoing manga series and books I've read before. Uh...haha looks like I barely read any prose novels or nonfiction. Jk I did and I thought most of the stuff I picked up were lackluster. Brief thoughts on everything:

Mexikid - I LOVE this book. I don't read nonfiction much in the kids' space, but this graphic memoir was delightful and reminded me that yeah, sometimes I like gross kid humor! It made me laugh a lot! I bought it because I know I can reread it a bunch and not get tired of it which isn't something I can say about most memoirs.

It's Lonely at the Centre of the Earth - another graphic memoir but for adults. I DID NOT shut up about this book last year and kept recommending it to everyone I talked to. Incredible, inventive art like you've never seen before and a gripping tale about creative block (and depression, imposter syndrome, and a whole slew of other things) which is....rare.

The Stone Home - This book means so much to me. I was emotionally destroyed by it and cried which I almost never do reading books. I don't think it's perfect and there are things I don't like about the structure/writing approach, but I wanted a historical novel set in Korea during the '80s and it came into my life at the right time and made me think about what it was like for my family during that time period and what it was like for them to leave Korea. Not that they went through this, but as I get closer to my dad's age when he left, I'm seeing things differently.

Annihilation - I'M SORRYYYYYYY. SO embarrassing of me to have this on my reading list for literally a decade, but I finally read it and it rearranged my brain! Messed up! Creeped me out! I'm obsessed.

Guards! Guards! - Finally read my first Discworld book and it was super fun and a good book to read during Christmas break. I was going to read and then I wasn't in the mood to read anything other than something like this.

Duel - the art isn't...good lol, but I rarely see a good depiction of the complexity of sisterhood especially for younger readers and yeahhh, more of this. zZ on parent-child relationships. Give me siblings who are complicated but also pretty much like every other sibling pair you know.

Plain Jane and the Mermaid - love Vera's style! This was a cute adventure.

Snapdragon - ngl I wasn't that interested in reading this, but I ended up enjoying it a lot. Kat's energy is like bouncing-off-the-walls frantic and can be a bit much, but the characters are endearing enough that I didn't mind it. Plus omg.....old woman yuri. Strange little girl befriends butch lesbian grandma who turns out to be her grandma's ex-gf? And there's magic, but in a fun way. Nice.

Honorable mentions: Stitches (iconic for a reason and disturbing, but I didn't fall in love as much as I wanted to love this) & My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness (only reason why it didn't make the list is because I don't remember much of it besides the broad strokes, but I was amazed by how vulnerable and open this was and I highly recommend it. Actually, I should have added it to this list, but lsdkjfklaj...then the images will be balanced because there's an odd number).

[polyhexian]

Thinking about the emotional rollercoaster that is Hunter and Jasper's newfound developing relationship after Jasper's no longer dying of infection and everything's come to light. Hunter now knows the truth, but can he HANDLE the truth? He was already having, like, seven ongoing crises, and now he has THIS on top of them. He's just learned about a dozen new things he gets to be angry over!

Your approach to writing Hunter's trauma recovery has always been very raw. I like a good saccharine hurt/comfort fic as much as the next person, but I really appreciate the raw approach, too. Recovery isn't perfect, it can be ugly and uncomfortable and painful, and you've never shied away from that. So I'm thinking of a still-reeling-from-Hollow-Mind Hunter, freshly dumped in another dimension with his weirdo stalker who turns out to be the father he'd just gotten used to thinking never existed, and I'm looking over at Agony!Hunter and Lament!Hunter for comparison and wincing.

I commented on another post about how I feel like Hunter would WILDLY vacillate between "you should've just kidnapped me by force!" and "yeah I was definitely super brainwashed and would've run back to tell Belos everything first chance I got" for the first…however long it takes for him to come to terms with this. But I can also see him lashing out at Jasper, like, here's some of the awful things Belos did to me, I hope that telling you about them makes you hurt because I feel like you abandoned me and I'm angry. But then that eventually goes in the complete opposite direction, like, I'm not going to tell you about what horrible memory gave me nightmares tonight even though I'd feel better if I did, because I know you love me and you were trying your best and you've been hurting every day for 16 years while you tried to get me back, and I don't want to hurt you more.

Jasper just…trying to get his kid to talk to him if he needs to. Probably at some point when Hunter's clammed up Jasper has to open up a bit himself like, look, nothing you could say is going to surprise me, that man gave me more opportunities to look at my insides than I want to remember; I'll be angry and sad about what you went through, but I've spent 16 years thinking about what he might have been doing to you and trust me, nothing you say is going to send me into a horrified shock response. Maybe he's reluctant to talk about his own experiences much because 1) Remembering sucks, and 2) He doesn't want Hunter thinking he's trying to upstage his pain, but like…they have adjacent trauma from the same abuser, they're gonna understand each other on a wavelength most other people won't get.

I do feel at the very least though Jasper would nip whatever personhood-related crisis Hunter might be having in the bud. Nope, nope, none of that; it took me 12 years to figure out I was a real person with feelings, and I didn't bargain with Belos to convince him to allow you the privilege of thinking you're a person just for you to start questioning it because you found out you're part vegetable. You've got 16 years experience of believing you're a person, that's a fantastic foundation that you should NOT take a sledgehammer to. Are we real people? We damn well BETTER be after all the work I put into figuring out emotions! Maybe this is like, the one thing Jasper really puts his foot down on. He's fine if Hunter's angry at him or if Hunter never forgives him or whatever, but he absolutely draws the line at Hunter thinking he might not be a real person.

Probably doesn't help that the whole situation is likely compounded by Hunter's guilt that oh, all his friends had to leave their family behind and are super worried about them, and he just GOT his dad back but he can't even be grateful about it?? What kind of horrible person is he??

And later on, when they've progressed past the worst of the anger, and Hunter has realized that yeah, he really does want a relationship with his dad. Then his issues of self-worth and believing love is conditional come into play.

I'm imagining some point where they're having a quiet conversation, maybe on the couch late at night. Maybe it started with Hunter asking why - why did you even care, why were you so willing to die for me when you barely knew me for two minutes. And Jasper is like I don't know, I just did, but that's not good enough for Hunter so he keeps talking. He talks about growing Hunter, all the work he put in and the attention to detail, about how excited he was, how he'd quietly talk to the planter box and spill out what he was only starting to realize were real feelings, about how he'd put his finger in Hunter's little palm and feel his heart stutter when his hand closed around it.

And Hunter listens to all of this in silence, watches Jasper smiling at the memories while he speaks, and he starts thinking about himself. About how he's never been able to maintain Belos's approval, how he's never been able to impress the coven heads, how he's just a half-a-witch who's never been anywhere near as powerful as Jasper is, how he's never been able to beat the Martlet in combat, how he's got so many punishment scars, how he's been such an awful, ungrateful brat these last few weeks to this man who loves him so much; love is conditional and Hunter has done nothing to earn Jasper's love and he probably needs to figure out how to fix that before he loses what seems to be a good thing, except his failures are many and his debt to Jasper is enormous and there is absolutely no way he will ever be able to impress or repay this man.

Jasper is still smiling into the middle distance as he says something about how badly he wanted to meet Hunter and how curious he was about what kind of person he'd be when he emerged.

Hunter feels a rock sink in his stomach, and very quietly says, "Sorry for the disappointment."

And Jasper blinks and looks down at Hunter, pure confusion on his face, and asks, "Why would I be disappointed?"

ahhHHHH

jasper completely blindsided by this. he doesn't have the proper experience with hunter's self worth issues yet to expect stuff like this, its just fully like. what?? disappointed??? when did i say that?? did i make it sound like that??? shit im doing a really bad job at this i guess. but also like. disappointed?? how could i ever be disappointed? you're alive! you have friends! I'm so happy! this is everything i ever wanted! and hunter is like no, i mean, disappointed by me and what i turned out like, i'm not nearly as brave or loyal as you, im a coward. and jasper is just floored. like ???? no! you are so smart and creative and kind and you are brave! what are you talking about??? you're a great kid! cue hunter bursting into tears

[vtforpedro]

long life update - TWs in tags

It feels like it's been ages. I'm so exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. Going on two months of it being the worst it's been right after a couple of months of the best it's been. Chronic pain + grief + trying to get help from doctors who should have their licenses revoked + dealing with a shit relationship with my mom + a good, decades-long friendship ending + the ongoing disability process with the SSA + LAW FIRMS.

I'm so fucking tired. I don't remember if I updated that the appeals council decided not to review my case because the 'judge followed the law' except that he didn't. So, as it turns out, my original attorney (and he did not tell me this) before he left, wrote that if they denied me, it should go to federal district court.

I'm now working with a NY law firm to take my case to federal court because my current law firm believes it has merit, and I guess they do, too. That's how fucked the decision was, and I'm glad my initial reaction of bewilderment and anger was spot on lol

The good news is, it should only take another year! ._.

My neurologist is the worst doctor I have ever come across and I'm quite literally stuck with him with nowhere else to go. I wish him upon no one. I'm so tired of calling the SSA, getting documents to them, signing things for law firms, contacting law firms, getting no responses, and contacting them all over and over again. I am in incredible physical pain, like this actively makes my neuro stuff worse. Everything makes it worse. I have autonomic testing in a few days, and idk if I'll get through it b/c I have to stop the meds that keep me out of the ER two days prior, and it scares me.

My relationship with my mom is fractured and I don't feel like family therapy is actually helping. I had to end a friendship with someone I love and care very much about but who was growing too comfortable mistreating me and I was giving them too many passes 😞 I've known them for the better part of two decades.

It's been over seven months since my cat Isis died. I don't know how. It feels like she was here just yesterday. Yet, all the nights I've sat and talked to her and wept are all too real. I miss her more than I can say. She was my soul cat. I keep thinking about tomorrow and how she'd be so nosy getting into EVERYthing when gifts are opened at Christmas. Having to stop her, move her, laugh because she was just so n o s y and it was hilarious. And she's not gonna be here for that ever again.

I'm having a really fucking hard time tonight. It's just hitting me how god-awful this year has been and how I have a bad week to look forward to before even getting to the new year lmao I have to stop taking so many of my medications 48hrs before 1.5-2hrs of testing to see if we can find out Yet Another Thing Wrong With Me but knowing my luck it'll be 'no findings' and the mystery of why my core body temp plummets to 93.9 in the blink of an eye won't be solved until I have suffered juuuuust enough.

It never ends. Never. I want to give up. I'm so tired of doing this. I don't want to anymore. It never. fucking. ends.

I absolutely cannot say it's all been bad, though. I've met incredible, warm, welcoming, giving, kind people this year. Y'all have helped me more than you know and I'm so so so lucky to be able to call you my friends. This year has sucked for so many of us, but I want to say I'm proud of you, and I love you all very much.

My fic is gonna be printed in a hardcover zine early next year. I participated in a Big Bang for the first time and that'll also go out early next year. I'm hosting a tiny event in my tiny fandom server that I'm super excited about. I have a raffle prize to write (bagginshield !!!! SO EXCITED to revisit the og otp) and a Valentine's gift to write for another fandom.

I posted 401,000 words this year and wrote many more unfinished wips, plus a long one (90k) that I am very invested in finishing.

I painted and drew so much this year. I improved a lot, too! I got a couple of portraits printed from inprnt to see how they looked, and it was MY art, and they were GORGEOUS. I thought I would hate seeing my art professionally printed, but no! I almost cried. They looked so lovely.

My cat Lilly had health issues almost immediately following Isis's passing, but she is doing so well right now. She's blossomed into another cat, and while she's not my constant companion, she is with me so much more than she used to be. When she walks onto my desk I am to stop everything and hold her like baby in my arms until she decides that's enough (or I really need to move) lmaaao she's such a goober. My heart cat. <3

I'm not doing well right now--my MH is bad. Especially tonight. But it felt good to write the good things.

I'm sorry for my lack of replies and kinda disappearing. I'm running on fumes. I hope next year will bring physical relief so emotional relief can happen.

For those of you facing difficulties of any kind, I am holding your hand in spirit.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Ok book recommendation. Not sure if this is something you'll like but it's one of my favourite series and I need more people to know about it.

The set up is basically: Atlantis is real and sometime in 1960s (I think) some astronaut saw Atlantis which was previously hidden from humans by magic. Humans obviously went to war with them and won. So now all the people of Atlantis have moved to Nantucket.

The governing class is a group of the most powerful magic users who all have sort of courts i guess with a bunch of lesser houses under them. They are all named after figures in a tarot deck (or rather the decks are named after them) so we have the tower, the fool, the lovers etc

For us the most important court is the Sun Court. The main character Rune and his best friend/bodyguard who have known each other since they were literal babies are from the sun court which was raided and fell when they were teenagers. Rune and Brand are in their 30s now.

Now they are sort of detectives for hire have been hired to find a missing person. While they also have to deal with some unexpected developments from a sanctioned raid they took part in.

Another thing worth noting about Brand (who is human) and Rune (who is an Atlantian) is that they share an emotional bond like they can literally feel each others emotions. It's an old Atlantian tradition that is explained in the books. Their relationship is so special to me. They have the best banter. And are so protective of each other.

Rune one of those characters that are both simultaneously so smart and badass while also being such a dumbass like he definitely laughs at dumb puns and thinks he's so funny. He is resourceful with his magic which he has to be and knows all about politics because he has to he was basically a prince before his court fell. He also has this quirk that I love where when he feels awkward in a situation he reverts back to being overly formal.

And Brand is that sarcastic, so over it bodyguard who will snipe at you but he is also so protective and caring (if you know where to look) (and Rune knows where to look and because it's from his pov you will hear all about it) and is the type of only I am allowed to make fun of him character. He will make you respect his people.

There is also an intricate magic system. Which i won't go into too much detail about but you basically have to charge these special objects with a spell you want to use in order to use magic.

The world is also so queer. Like it is stated multiple times that attraction to only one gender and monogamy are not the norm in this society.

The books are part of an ongoing series currently three of the planned nine books are out but the author also has published a bunch of free extra stories for in between the books.

The series is called The Tarot Sequence and the first book is called The Last Sun. By K.D. Edwards.

I would recommend looking at the trigger warnings though you should probably be fine seeing as you are in the aftg fandom.

(One of the opening lines is: "I am, before anything else, a survivor [...]" though so)

Sorry for writing this entire essay lol. I just really really love these books especially the relationships between the characters no matter if they're platonic, romantic or familial they all love and care for each other so much. They are some of the best interpersonal relationships i have read and I think about all of the characters so much. Sometimes I just have to stop and go oh randomly in my day to day when I think about another devastating thing about them (both positive and heartbreaking)

Oh one last thing before I finally shut up they don't know who lead the raid on their court so that is an underlying mystery throughout the series

oh my god anon thanks for this! like i have to admit i was on the fence when you mentioned atlantis, BUT the rest of your lil essay (cutie i love when people are passionate about their interests!) has convinced me to add these to my list!!! :D

also! when i looked it up on goodreads i was like 'ohhhhh' because i've seen the cover somewhere before? but yes! added! :) when i get to it i'll have to make a post!

[anneimaginesundertale]

The Best of All Timelines Timeline

The Best of All Timelines is the ongoing saga that's the "canon" story on this blog. Unless something is set in an AU, this is the timeline where stuff happens in my drabbles. (I will also try to start tagging stuff that might not be "canon"--for example, if I write a hurt/comfort fic about somebody getting shot, that probably didn't happen.)

Here's how events shook out so far. Kind of a floating timeline, so I'm not putting dates in here, but I hope it makes sense. Some of this is linked to old roleplay parties, which should be available to reread HERE.

Monsters are freed. Sans and Papyrus make a home on the surface along with the other Undertale monsters in Ebott City and the surrounding area.

Sans messes with a certain machine in the basement and accidentally brings several other pairs of skeletons into this world. After comparing worlds, they name the other timelines Underswap, Underfell, Swapfell, Horrortale, and Mobtale. The boys try living together, but numerous arguments and awkward encounters send them scattering across the country.

No one thinks to check if the machine is still summoning skeletons from other worlds. Sans knows that more have come through, but hides it. The new skeletons are sent off to live their own lives.

Anne (that's me, y'all; we're all about self-indulgence here) meets Sans and Papyrus when they move to Littleton (a quiet village about half an hour from the city). They become friends and one summer the boys invite her to go and visit their other cousins. Anne loves all the boys so much that she tells them they're always welcome in her home. The boys become regular visitors.

Anne hosts a Halloween party with some of her new human friends and invites all the skeletons. The boys all like her new house so much that they gradually all move in. The house has more than enough room for everybody, which is good, because more cousins show up! The Mobtale brothers make an appearance around this time.

Anne hosts a Gyftmas party where the Mafiafell bros show up.

After a mysterious noise starts coming from the basement, the G!bros are discovered! They finally found a way out of the void through the machine. Although not everybody trusts them, they join the family.

A spring cleaning party uncovers strange magic items in the shed and the attic. The items are sent away to Alphys to study at her lab, but eventually are stolen by...somebody. This is an ongoing mystery.

More mysterious noises and then the basement explodes! The Outertale brothers crashland their spaceship through the machine, effectively destroying it. No more skeletons can come through that way, but there are more in the world than initially thought.

Gradually, we meet the Dancetale brothers, the Oceantale brothers, and the Farmtale brothers.

Somewhere in here, an old friend of the blog (@kezi-likes-undertale) invented a dream game machine that allows people to go into various AUs and play out stories. This has worked out really well (other than one hiccup with G! and Jess, but that was a one time thing...probably...)

Several of Anne's human friends have fallen in love with skeletons. Anne herself has fallen for Sweets (HT Papyrus). There are three weddings (Blue and Ray, Anne and Sweets, and Boss and Trashy). Other skeletons make relationships official. Lots of cuteness ensues.

Blue and Ray (@pureangleda) have a baby! Randy Bistroke Gaster is the first babybones born into the big family and everybody absolutely adores him!

TIME SKIP -- 5 years later!

Some of the skeletons moved out of Anne's house and into their own homes, either in the neighborhood (Skeleton Acres) or in the wider world (Littleton, Ebott City). The OT bros live in Ebott City and work at the botanical gardens/aquarium. A few moved further away or went on long trips. The MF bros are at their casino in Las Vegas. The DT bros are on a world dance tour. The UO bros live in the ocean near a vacation town called Sweet Sands, about an hour from Littleton. The farm bros have their farm about half an hour west of Littleton, near a town called Pinewood.

There are now six babybones in the family, with another one on the way! Ray and Blue have Randy (5) and Cherry (2). Anne and Sweets have Someday (4) and twins Grace and Gideon (2). Boss and Trashy have Poppy (2) and another baby on the way.

Randy had his fifth birthday party just before Gyftmas. It was Pokemon themed, as that is the lad's current obsession.

In January 2024, we pick up with the family one month after that party. From here on out, we'll have to figure out what happens next!