#also like people acting like you're love interest determines the characters sexuality

[yusuke-of-valla]

I don't want to be too mean because there's nothing objectively wrong with this article but the vibe I got reading this was like "it sounds like these are two valid approaches to writing romances and any flaws with them aren't inherent to the design choice so much as they're limited by the devs imagination and writing skill?"

But also like it's interesting to hear people talk about it and it brings up some interesting games I want to check out now, so like? Whatever? Objectively fine article, it's just going to be bugging me for the rest of the day.

I will make fun of this quote though:

“The difference between a bisexual character versus a playersexual character really is a matter of context,” Gaider says. “By calling a character ‘playersexual,’ you’re sort of erasing the fact that they are bisexual, but, the part where having a term for that becomes useful is when you start to investigate, like, why is this character bisexual?”

I'm sorry do I need a three page essay explaining why I'm bisexual? Do I need to bring this up on my tinder date? Damn I've been doing this wrong.

[daisybianca]

pairing: charles leclerc x femalereader

summary: you and charles are childhood friends since like... forever?! one day, you're reading one of those books you very much like to read and he gets curious, wondering what it is about. little does he know that you're actually reading literal porn.

warnings: mentions of sexual activities, cursing words

(a/n): i got the main idea from character.ai and @ blairetaylorsversion ! Go check her work out. She's got fluffy, spicy, and also angsty stuff to read about <3

YOU SAT ON the warm beach sand, reading a book, while your friends swam and played in the water. You were so focused on the spicy scene you were reading that you didn't notice Charles leaning over your shoulder, trying to also get a glimpse of the action. When you finally did, you jumped slightly, caught off guard by his presence. A smirk formed on his lips as he saw your face turn slightly red from embarrassment.

"Shit, you scared me, you creep!"

Charles laughed slightly, before saying, "Oops, sorry!"

He looked back down at the book in your hands and raised his eyebrows, looking pretty intrigued.

"What are you reading there?" he asked playfully.

"None of your business." Your tone was sharp.

"Well aren't you a bit sassy today, huh?" he said with a smile.

He leaned back in the beach chair next to yours, keeping his arms crossed and looking back at the book. You could tell by his facial expression that he felt stubborn and was determined to see what you were reading.

"I'm not telling you what I'm reading about."

"Aww really? Why not? You can't make me super interested in something and then deny giving me the details..." he said with a pout.

With that, he tried to reach out and take the book from your hands. When he grabbed it, his hand brushed against yours, causing him to look up at you instantly.

"Hey, quit it, Charles!"

Charles looked up at you with a small smirk. He wasn't giving in that easily.

"I'm not gonna stop until you tell me," he said, trying to look innocent.

He refused to let go of the book and was pulling it back towards his side.

"Oh, come on. Why do you even care?!"

You started to feel a slight flutter in your stomach when he wouldn't let go of the book. He was so close to you and he was being playful, which made you feel weird.

"Well now I care even more because you're not telling me. You're making me more curious," he said, moving his body closer to yours and trying to look over your shoulder to see the book.

"It's a romance book."

Charles's eyes widened instantly. He looked intrigued and excited to find out more.

"So it's about love? Is it a romance? Is it about someone falling in love with someone else? Is it juicy?" he asked quickly, his words blending together.

"Too many questions."

"Oh, please, tell me..." Charles whined playfully.

He pulled the book back towards his side, then leaned his head closer against your shoulder, resting his head on you.

"It's um... very spicy."

Charles's eyes widened again.

"Ooh, spicy, huh? Is it about two characters being in love and doing it?" he asked excitedly, his eyebrows raised.

He pulled the book back towards his side again, putting pressure on it so it wouldn't slide away easily.

"Stop acting so childish. You know my taste in books."

A wide smirk appeared on Charles' lips. "Yes. And i daresay that they are particularly mild compared to what you can do in private."

"Shhhh!" Your eyes widened as you scanned the crowd around you. "Stop it! There are lots of people here."

"What are you scared of?" Charles asked. "The news of you and me having the most perfect sex while we're supposed to be childhood friends isn't really going to make me stop flirting with you in public."

You couldn't help but rolled your eyes. "Oh, come on, Charles! Stop talking that loud! You make me wanna hate you so bad sometimes."

"Apparently, last night wasn't one of those times, right, love?"

[eeldritchblast]

Thoughts on Halsin

I want to preface this by saying I don't have anything particularly against Halsin as he is in game. But I do find him lacking in depth, when compared to everyone else.

Even without knowing that he was added as a full companion last minute, I would probably have guessed as much simply because there's not much to him beyond the role he plays in the Shadow-Curse quest of Act 2. This is lampshaded with dialogue about how he himself feels consumed by his determination to end the curse. But to me, that just feels like a cop-out. Imagine any other character looking at the camera and just saying "yeah I know I don't have much character beyond what happens to me in the plot, too bad?"

But I think the worst crime about his lack of development, is the fact that because he doesn't have a lot else going on, he feels a little overly sexualized to me; like he's just there for the player to thirst after because he's this big, bulky man. Now, to be clear, I don't care that he's horny, and I definitely don't care that he's poly. (My GF is a poly lesbian, and honestly I could see myself having more than one romantic relationship , too, if someone else was ever interested in me like that and cool with it.) What I'm trying to say is, because he's lacking in other areas, leaving those traits being of his few you can list, it makes them feel of less value, and makes him feel more like a sex prop. And if you're gonna have a character with rape victim as part of his background like Halsin has, then that's the last thing you want, I think.

So, what more could be done with Halsin?

I once made a joke that someone should draw Halsin in a "Big Auntie Energy" shirt. For those of you who aren't Native, let me try to translate: In most if not all Indigenous Nations, we often call women who are champions of our cultures and communities "Auntie", whether they are actually literally your aunt or not. An Auntie is someone you dearly love, and trust to guide you. Halsin already plays something of a mentor figure to the protagonist—indeed, dev notes even call him "avuncular"—so why not lean into it further by showing what he does for others, too? Pretending that there was more development time allotted, here's what I would've liked to see...

"This place crawls with life, but little of it flourishes. I see refugees, unhoused. The destitute, unwanted. Orphans, unloved. … I wish there was a better way. I wish everyone could see the sun, have a full belly, and know nature as a friend. There is a balance that is yet to be found." —Halsin

After ending the Shadow-Curse, Halsin says he needs to find a new purpose. I feel like his purpose could easily align with his horror of the inequalities of Baldur's Gate. Instead of just talking about how awful it is, why not allow the player to challenge him to try and change things, then? For example, I like to imagine Halsin telling stories to the orphans in Rivington, providing them comfort and someone to look up to. Or another example: Halsin helping out in or maybe starting some kind of charity meal program. It's small, but it's enough to say that he could actually grow a little as a person within the game's story. And it would add at least a little bit of engagement on the player's end as well, instead of feeling like the relationship with Halsin, platonically, is one-sided.

This all doesn't come from nowhere, by the way. If you exclusively romance Halsin, he says goodbye to the player in the end because he is leading a group of people into Thaniel's realm to start a new life. But personally, I feel like this is too great a leap back into an Archdruid role he specifically rejected, because he didn't like it. It also would've been nice to get this kind of dialogue without having to romance him; to know what lies ahead for Halsin as a friend, too.

Now, that's the good ending. But almost all the companions in BG3 have a "good" and "evil" ending. I feel like this really adds a lot of insight into the characters, because they feel real through it; we all have the potential to make good and bad choices, after all. So what could be Halsin's evil-aligned ending? Well, remember when he questions if the Shadow Druids actually have a point? How about giving the player the opportunity to push him further down that path instead... Shadow Druid Halsin, holy shit.

Now, there's one more thing I want to circle back to: Halsin's past. He very casually speaks of his time as a captive in the Underdark. And maybe it was so long ago that he's long dealt with such trauma, but still, I really wish there was a way to say "hey bud, that's really fucked up and I'm sorry that happened to you." But there's not a single dialogue option that allows you to express sympathy, besides just saying "that's awful", which doesn't cut it. Halsin himself says, "sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt." Not allowing the player to be sensitive to his feelings goes exactly against this message not to judge a person's emotions by physical appearances.

Anyway, Halsin is a character that I think has a lot of potential, but doesn't quite reach it in game. I think it's great that he was given a bigger role due to popularity, but I just wish that role was expanded on to the same degree as the other companions.

[sammygender]

hi.. erm im back (anon from the last 2 asks) (im too scared to un-anon sorry) i want to ask (another) genuine question abt wincest because ur the nicest person ive ever met who's willing to talk abt it from both sides.

i guess i just don't get why people ship wincest? background: im aromantic and have a hard time understanding certain shippy stuff, but i do notice alot of arophobic statements in regards to the evidence given as to why people ship. ex: a lot of "brothers don't look at each other like that." type things. (which i know is not wincest exclusive and is often used by destiel shippers too)

also i notice alot of people being quite amatonormative (definition: the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance.) so it's hard to even take wincest shippers seriously when all their evidence tends to be perpetuating arophobic sentiments and stuff.

we can all agree that their relationship is seriously unhealthy. but i just have a hard time with it being even borderline incestuous. i also really like the idea of relationship anarchy (definition: relationships within this structure are fluid, and therefore have no solid differentiation between sexual, romantic, or platonic relationships.) so to me it's like. well it's platonic because they say it is? only the people within a relationship can determine what that relationship is and they have?

anyways i know im throwing a lot of words and definitions at you. you're just extremely helpful to talk to and i like what you have to say, so id be extremely interested in your opinions about this.

hi anon!!! im so sorry i literally yapped like crazy in response to this. had no idea i was capable of this much thought on this topic. everything is under the read more

TLDR for the TLDR: for me the 'borderline incestuous' nature of their relationship isnt actually the way they act with each other cause i do think boundaries of romantic/platonic r weird and fake (tho by normal 'societal standards' sam and dean r strange). its more the framing of it by the narrative and genre conventions of spn as a horror. i think. <3

everything im abt to say has been written on at length by much smarter people than me - if ur interested i probably have reblogged other peoples posts on similar topics and tagged them somewhere under #poison in the water and maybe #she walked in on us. i am SO sorry for the mountain of yap you have unleashed.

before i rly start, re: talking abt the concept of wincest from different angles/sides - its honestly so totally beyond me why people dont actually DISCUSS this stuff more. ofc wincest shippers are sometimes obnoxious when they go ‘NORMAL BROTHERS DON’T ACT LIKE THIS!!!’ over anything (like i personally don’t like the whole ‘sam and dean are OBVIOUSLY in love because they bring each other back from the dead!!’ thing. like why is that romantic. i’d try my hardest to bring my siblings back from the dead too.) but like u said pretty much all shippers do that. i think people are (UNDERSTANDABLY) squicked out by the idea of incest, even fictional, and have an immediate kneejerk reaction when people ‘corrupt’ their favorite characters by talking abt it in relation to them. and i completely understand just not wanting to engage with readings you find uncomfortable or odd!! TV can just be escapism there’s nothing wrong with that!! but i tend to find immediate negative reactions against anything that even ACKNOWLEDGES the incestuous subtext in spn uncharitable and annoying. for one, incest is a real thing that happens and its not shipping goggles or creep behavior to look at fiction through the lens of it, just as its not whatsoever unreasonable to look at, for example, the azazel demon blood storyline as a CSA allegory (again of course all this is real heavy and just one interpretation and absolutely no hate for fans who like… just don’t want to think like this <3). for two, i do think there is an undercurrent of it written into supernatural with intentionality to further the themes of familial horror.

so to kind of…. explain i guess… why i say i can see canonical backing for sam and dean’s relationship as incestuous or incestuous-adjacent (lol), i have to go back to the general incest subtext in supernatural as a whole, from a completely academic-interest and not at all shippy way. like i said ofc SPN is primarily a show about FAMILY HORROR - ‘family is hell’, to quote eric kripke in the pilot commentary. or at least this is how i view it; a lot of destiel fans, for example, tend to see it more as…. idk really, i don’t claim to have much contact with them, but certainly not usually a horror. an action-adventure. a western. a story about a Tragic American Hero (sorry im being tongue in cheek and bitchy). i think viewing the show with a sam-focused lens tends to make you view it as horror for… a lot of reasons which i won’t get into here. but i PERSONALLY - getting off track here, sorry - view it as horror. that’s what he originally intended, and it’s what supernatural is most successful at doing. and incest in horror, especially gothic horror, especially gothic horror about the family and the home, is well-trodden territory (where’s my essay from last term about incest in wuthering heights where i somehow ended up, while researching, on an essay about wincest itself). - and supernatural is full of allusions to it. azazel’s silhouette in the pilot as intentionally strikingly similar to john’s, when he first feeds sam demon blood (framed as a CSA allegory, whether intentional or not). then azazel actually possessing john later. mary making the deal that dooms her family for years after via kissing her father on the mouth. hunting portrayed as something abnormal, irregular, taboo in direct opposition to a ‘normal family’ (tho abuse also comes from the nuclear family etc etc). then you can look at sam and dean specifically….

from the pilot, you have the woman in white telling sam, who has just left to go on a roadtrip with his brother, that he’s about to be unfaithful to jess; even if this could technically be said to be about the fact she then attempts to assault him (tho that doesn’t really fit with woman in white lore?? she goes after people who have already cheated…), it’s still portraying jess and dean as innately in opposition, just as jess has to die in order for sam to join dean. all the loaded lines about ‘the way they were raised’ - dean telling sam he can’t escape it. supernatural is clear: the rot is IN the family.

OF COURSE all of this can equally just be about familial abuse!! and IS about familial abuse!! but the way the story unfolds DOES position sam and dean in…. shall we say Roles. sam is the feminised ‘bitch’ to dean’s ‘jerk’; they’re mistaken for a couple in 1x08, in 1x18, in 2x16, in s8; they’re compared to bonnie and clyde, to mallory and mickey, serial killer lover duos. crowley tells dean, ‘you’re lying to sam like he’s your wife’. dean says, at a later opportunity, ‘what about sam? does he want a divorce?’. an ANGEL tells their HALF BROTHER that sam and dean are ‘psychotically, irrationally, EROTICALLY codependent’. dean himself is unable to name what’s between them, explicitly saying ‘love, family, whatever it is’ (which is just SUCH an odd line. Like it’s love and family between you two Dean is it not??? Why are you acting like neither of those words describe it???). then there’s the way jensen and jared act it, their physicality, eg. sam looking genuinely like he’s about to pull dean in for a kiss during playthings 2x16… i also find the whole ‘brothers don’t look at each other like that!!’ annoying, but tbh, they do give each other wild looks sometimes. the end of wendigo sticks out to me whenever i watch it as a genuine ‘why is jared/sam looking at jensen/dean like that… what possessed him…’.

wait another addition - when i first wrote this i also totally forgot about 4x14 sex and violence, which iirc has dean’s siren, originally described only in terms of sex/romance, literally telling him ‘i should be your little brother’. of course the concept of a siren that isn’t really about sex or even romance is really interesting and one valid reading - and also lends itself to a reading of dean as aro which i rly like. but i don’t think that reading is any more or less valid than the more obvious one. (irrelevant side bar but there’s a 2003 sociology book about sibling incest that i read for an essay on wuthering heights called ‘Siblings: Sex and Violence and that makes me go ??? every time i think about the episode. Literally what. That has to be a coincidence. But??)

i think in regards to why people ‘ship’ wincest, a lot of it is of course just that they just kind of See It, for whatever reason. whether it’s the thematic (which i talked on at length already sorry <3) or just the way they look at each other or just because jared and jensen are hot or just because they think it’s really interesting to explore an added dimension to sam and dean’s already messed up relationship. same with destiel, same with sastiel, same with whatever, like u said. shipping culture in general IS hugely amatonormative - people love to declare wide statements about what people who are In Love do and don’t do, which are always silly and shallow. partly why i don’t really consider myself as someone who ships things in general.

i also totally agree w u that only people within a relationship can determine what that relationship is. im not aro but i also really like the concept of relationship anarchy. however, when i see the incestuous subtext between sam and dean, it’s more in a media studies way than in a way of analysing their actual Relationship (though to be fair i’m not a wincest shipper); eg. asking the question why is their relationship portrayed ‘like that’, and what does that say about the themes of spn itself. also it is just an interesting concept to a lot of people.

TLDR the reason i can view sam and dean’s relationship as borderline incestuous isn’t due to their codependency, or dean’s intense possessiveness, or how close they are, or because they spend all of their time together, or because they’ve brought each other back from the dead multiple times and get suicidal without each other. this is even though in our society all that together IS often coded as romantic/sexual and is definitely acknowledged in that lens by the writers (hence constant comparison of them to married couples) - because it could also just as equally be completely platonic and completely insane and the result of the world’s worst trauma bond (the latter which it CERTAINLY is <3). when i talk abt canonical backing for their relationship as borderline incestuous, it’s more about the narrative framing and context surrounding it. at the very least, their relationship is ‘abnormal’, deviant (meant in the most literal meaning as an digression from social norms); different from accepted ‘sibling relationships’, pointed out by the characters around them. <- none of this makes any sense but its 3am and im on tumblr so its ok.

feel free to dm also if u want to or just send an ask back!! and also ofc feel free to argue with/disagree with me in any way u like. or ask wtf i mean by anything cause i talk too much. tbh from what u say it sounds like u just don’t really vibe with shipping culture in general (might be an assumption sorry if so) which i totally understand/agree w. but i hope i answered ur question in some way somehow

[jaysbookofnothing]

Acotar rambles

Nesta is the oldest sister and the one who was groomed by her mother to be perfect; she was literally prepared all her childhood to be perfect at everything and to be the wife of another man, never getting a life for herself. Nesta is a mean and passive sister that I'm not going to defend, but I hate when the fandom acts like that's all she is. Nesta has trauma herself, almost being married to a rapist and abuser, watching her sister get kidnapped, getting turned into a fae by force, and getting plunged into the middle of a war she should have had no place in. Her and Cassian are also all types of unstable; yes, I know they are mates, but that doesn't mean that they are good for each other. Cassian, repeatedly, let's talk down to Nesta. He doesn't even defend her; he lets his best friend and self-proclaimed brother threaten to kill his mate. Not only that, but he contributes to her self-doubt and hides the truth of her powers, even forcing her to keep secret the fact that her sister might die. I think she just needs a break from the inner circle, a long relaxing vacation with the Valkyries, and some therapy. (I do still hate her for letting a 14-year-old Feyre go into the woods.) Elain...sweet child Elain, God, you are pathetic. I don't mind the girly, peaceful, silent type of character. In fact, I adore characters like those, but Elain isn't it. What she is is just a sad waste. For example, when her 14-year-old sister was going into the woods to hunt animals for their family, she didn't try to use her gardening skills to maybe plant flowers during the spring. Try to use her flower gardening to sell the flowers, make dyes, or do anything else that would help the family. And then there's her whole thing with Lucian; I absolutely despise it. Even with her "thing" with the shadow MF, what she needs is to go off and live her cottage core life away from those poor men. I feel like Sara can still save her character, but I am just tired of her not doing anything. (I know she did things like kill the king and be a seer and all that, but goddamn, is she so bland?) Feyre, she could have been so much more. I liked her fistyness and determination in the first few books, but god did she tire me out by the end. First of all, she has such an "I'm not like other girls" vibe, and it's generally tiring after a while. Overall, she's a decent character. I just hate her ending, like, Why does she turn into a housewife? You're telling me that Feyre Cursebreaker, the woman who waged war on a Fae empire and won, is now a housewife? Honestly, the main reason I hate her ending is because of Rhys. I could get into such a big rant about Rhys; first off, in the first book, he drugged her and parraded her around in a sexual manner while she could not consent as a way of "protecting her." I don't think I have to explain how messed up that is. Next, he always talks about how much Feyre always has a choice in everything and that she can say no and yada yada, but did he give her a choice when he withheld the fact that she would die if she gave birth to their child? No. Did he maybe think of the side effects of sleeping with Feyre while they were both in their illerion forms, such as having a baby with illeion wings? Nope. Speaking of illerions, you cannot tell me that "the strongest fae lord of all time" can't smack some people with bat wings around enough so they stop abusing, clipping the wings, and raping their women. I guess he isn't as powerful after all. Speaking of women who Rhys let's suffer, your telling me he can't help the girls trapped in the Honestly, Rhys doesn't strike me as a good high lord; he is a patheric excuse for a love interest.

The inner circle God, where do I start? The inner circle is supposed to be this type of family, but honestly, it just feels like a group of bullies. They always talk about how powerful they are, how amazing they are, how their family is, etc., but they don't truly accept Lucian into their ranks, nor does Nesta. Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys are truly nothing more than emo frat boys. Are we going to skip the part in Silver Flames where they talk about how they used to fuck girls in the same room as each other? Yeah...nasty. Their views on women are mildly concerning as well; it seems like they don't care, but they do. Rhys talks about how much he loved his mom, his sister, and how he would do anything for Feyre, yet he didn't tell her about the child that might kill her. Cassian's mate is Nesta, and he "loves" her, yet he lets Rhys threaten to kill her and talk down to her multiple times throughout the series. Azriel, I forget he exists for the most part; he's kind of a wet, sad dog in the corner crying. 

Mor, sweet girl, Mor. I don't know how to feel about her, honestly; good for her for getting out of the court of nightmares, but I'm a bit fishy about what Eris meant by Mor knowing the truth and hiding it.

Speaking of Eris, let's talk about him and Lucian. My two favorite characters (other than Gwen) truly wish nothing more than Lucian to be happy and get a good ending away from the inner circle at the end; he's gone through so much and yet gets treated like a dog. In fact, he still doesn't know that his father is Helion, despite Feyre and Rhys being aware! Eris, I'm really hoping, is going to pull a Rhys and end up being good in the end. I doubt anything that'll make me happy will actually happen, though, so I'll probably just have to stick to headcanons and fanfiction.

[none-shall-caricature-me]

I've noticed that, probably due to a desire to alleviate the grim nature of the original, many xuexiao fanfic writers opt to focus on (twisted or fluffy) romantic feelings of the characters. The emphasis ends up being on their romantic / platonic / sexual attraction rather than their incredibly juicy ideological contest and the antagonistic tension mixed with intrigue that Xue Yang shows towards Xiao Xingchen. Basically, there is too much 'lovers / froends' and not enough 'enemies' in their enemies - to - lovers / friends story. (I'm not criticising that. I'm a sucker for their mushier side too. But I'm equally a sucker for a good brutal battle of creeds.)

So let me fill this gap by describing how DELICIOUS the exploration of the 'you're my enemy and u SUCK and your worldview is RIDICULOUS but I LOVE rotating you in the microwave testing the limits of your resolve' aspect is or can be. I'll use some moments from the show / novel that I find striking in this regard.

XXC is very kind but lacks the worldly experience to be spot - on empathetic (as others have pointed out). He's also rigid to a fault. This is a VERY unpopular interpretation of mine but I believe he can be selfish / negligent in his goodness - he sheds caution about possible repercussions on his near ones in his mission to fight evil. He was smart enough to figure out the Chang massacre and trace it to XY. He knows XY is incredibly vengeful and creative in his vengeance. He's had experience with powerful people who will obstruct justice. Yet he goes ahead with prosecuting XY even when Jin Guangshan acts shady and uncooperative. Didn't he consider that this might put a target on his well - known partner Song Lan ?

Welp, then the Baixue bloodbath happens and XXC very understandably blames himself. I know we like to say it wasn't his fault, and of course it technically wasn't, but he did commit a grave error in not thinking through the consequences. It could be a miscalculation, negligence or even cavalier tunnel - vision, depending on your opinion. But anyway, XXC's morale is shattered and as others (like ameliarating) have said, he determined to never end up harming others in his quest for righteousness again.

XY wiped out Baixue for revenge, but also to kill XXC's hopes and vision, again also mentioned by others. May be a stretch, but it could be XY's way of saying 'hah, you don't care to understand why the world is as awful as it is, and then blame ME for doing shitty things to live it up in a shitty world. So let me show you how things actually work, and why my existence and lifestyle are valid.' It's like a really fucked up method of self - affirmation for XY. (Just in case - I am neutral on XY's actions. The novel doesn't give us much insight into his thoughts, so I'll withhold judgement on the nature vs. nurture debate about XY. But he's definitely an interesting character).

Then XY starts infiltrating XXC's life in Yi City. Why does he stick around after healing ? I like to think it's initially because he's a) taking advantage of XXC's generous freebies cuz why not and b) wants to torment him, yes, but he's also very very curious about XXC. Maybe it's because XXC's still out here trying to do good when many people would've either quit and hardened their hearts, or been broken irreparably. So XY think's he'll get both schadenfreude and try to find out why this dumbass saved a highly suspicious dying man and continued on his goody goody quest instead of learning his lesson. The lesson XY tried to teach him. Maybe XXC's whole deal makes XY wonder how his life would be if he'd acted nicer and more socially acceptable. Would it have saved him any pain ? Would he have had true allies then ? Did he choose a life of callous crime because he is weak - willed and 'inferior' unlike the seemingly unbreakable superiority of XXC ?

So he makes XXC kill on 'night - hunts'. Perhaps to prove that XXC got manipulated into doing harm cuz he's dumb or full of hubris and refuses to wisen up, refuses to become more cynical and wary of people. This ties back into Baixue too. Also I think the book mentions the victims are residents who mocked / cheated XXC ? If that's true, it's like XY is 'introducing' XXC to taking bloody revenge just like XY did on the Chang clan and others who crossed him / his pals. Like he's enacting teaching XXC 'look, if you keep up the good deeds, eventually you'll meet someone who ruins you so you destroy that hope for humanity and become just like me. Your way will always end in disaster, and therefore I'm justified in living like I do.'

Of course, in the end XY realises that XXC's drive to better society was his way of coping with the harsh reality of humans, especially after being ousted from BSSR's mountain. XXC didn't want to live in a sordid world. Meanwhile XY's coping mechanism was to extort the sordid world for all he wanted.

There's a tiny moment in CQL where, after the fake night hunt slaughter, XXC walks past a smirking XY and his arm brushes XY's sleeve, whose grin grows larger. It's like XY's relishing in XXC so casually touching and hanging about him totally unawares. Also he's horny for XXC's combat skills.

So yeah. Antagonist obsessed with corrupting his enemy, wrapping him around his finger, but not willing to let go. He ended up being totally down to bask in XXC's obstinate kindness despite that being the very thing he wanted to disprove and destroy.

XXC hesitates to kill XY after the reveal. What does he get from XY? Maybe it was reassuring that someone as hard - hearted and self - centred as his friend was willing to stick around in no man's land with him. It's soothing because it makes it seem like the world isn't that cruel, that perhaps the potential for good exists in people, hence helping XXC cope with his existential anxiety. He has to hold on to that hope even as his friend's identity is revealed, else there's nothing left for him since he can't bear to live in a world of evil and exploitation.

Why didn't XY move on after XXC's suicide ? If all he wanted was acceptance and shelter, he could've found so many other options. No, he was obsessed with XXC cuz he thought that if someone perfectly willing to kill him in the past over morals hesitated to kill him in the end, it must be an actual stable love. Where else, he thinks, would be find someone who loved him enough to not kill him despite them being such hostile opposites by character and circumstance ? Lots of people could love him cuz they agreed with his worldview or found it / him expedient. Who would love him even when their entire identity and misery opposed it ?

[jetwhenitsmidnight]

The Sins on Their Bones by Laura R. Samotin

Source: NetGalley ARC

Publisher: Penguin Random House

Release date: 7 May 2024

Genre: dark fantasy

If you like:

Jewish folklore

(Mutual) gay yearning

Queernorm

Villain POV

Lovers to enemies

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫/5

Synopsis

Dimitri Alexeyev used to be the Tzar of Novo-Svitsevo. Now, he is merely a broken man, languishing in exile after losing a devastating civil war instigated by his estranged husband, Alexey Balakin. In hiding with what remains of his court, Dimitri and his spymaster, Vasily Sokolov, engineer a dangerous ruse. Vasily will sneak into Alexey’s court under a false identity to gather information, paving the way for the usurper’s downfall, while Dimitri finds a way to kill him for good.

But stopping Alexey is not so easy as plotting to kill an ordinary man. Through a perversion of the Ludayzim religion that he terms the Holy Science, Alexey has died and resurrected himself in an immortal, indestructible body—and now claims he is guided by the voice of God Himself. Able to summon forth creatures from the realm of demons, he seeks to build an army, turning Novo-Svitsevo into the greatest empire that history has ever seen.

Dimitri is determined not to let Alexey corrupt his country, but saving Novo-Svitsevo and its people will mean forfeiting the soul of the husband he can’t bring himself to forsake—or the spymaster he’s come to love.

Content warnings

Domestic and emotional abuse

Implied grooming

Death, war, gore, body horror, blood, injury

Torture

Past sexual assualt

Alcohol and drug use

Vomit

Mental illness/depression

Review

Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC!!

I love unconventional fantasy novels, where the main characters aren't powerful and heroic, where they have lost everything, where they doubt themselves and their decisions at every turn, but still choose to forge on regardless.

Dimitri is depressed and going through it mentally, after his ex-husband's betrayal and usurpation, and a lot of the beginning of this book is about picking up the pieces in order to move forward. I appreciate how his depression is taken seriously as a legit illness, which is something you don't see a lot of in high fantasy. Vasily is his loyal spymaster who is devoted to his country and to Dimitri, and is willing to do whatever it takes in order to reinstate Dimitri as Tzar. At times, things look hopeless, but Vasily manages to persevere and act under pressure. Alexey reminds me of the Darkling from Shadow & Bone, so take that as you will. He's power hungry and delusional in his quest for more power, under the misguided belief that he must do it for the good of the country. I hadn't expected to get his point of view in this book, and I won't say it was a pleasant surprise, but it was fascinating to read from his perspective and see how differently he interprets things.

A lot of the negative reviews critique the pacing as ""too slow"", but honestly, I didn't even notice? In hindsight I can see how people might find this book slow, as it takes about halfway into this book for the main plot to get going, but I really enjoyed being able to spend more time with the cast, learning about them and their backstories before getting swept up in the plot.

I've also seem some criticism of the amount of sex scenes in this book, which is perfectly fine and everyone's preferences are valid. However, I do feel that some people are coming at this from the perspective that sex scenes are written purely for the purpose of titillating the audience, which is definitely not the case here. The characters have sex for a variety of reasons, ranging from using it as a coping mechanism for trauma, or as a way to exert power or control, or as a method of manipulation, which I think is important to keep in mind before dismissing this book as ""smut"". (But if you're into it that's fine too!)

Another aspect of this book I found rather interesting was how Jewish folklore and customs were written into the world-building. I have zero knowledge of Judaism so I lowkey thought some of it was made up for fantasy world-building purposes, but the author's note at the end of the book was enlightening and gives some great insight into how the author constructed this world with Jewish culture in mind.

One thing that bugs me about this is, I was under the impression that this book was a standalone until I got to the ending. You could still read it as a standalone, I guess. And like, I'm glad that there could be more of this world, but it irks me that I didn't know this going into it.

TLDR; This book weaves a complex tapestry of past and present, love and betrayal, loss and healing. It's about finding light in the darkest of times. 5 stars.

[thejustmaiden]

So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

[insomniacowl]

Neon genesis Evangelion Analysis Chapter 23: Katsuragi Misato Part 2 Dear Shinji, this is my will.

Misato: So you don't want to meet your dad?

Just like me

Let us start from the beginning. The scene in the first episode where Misato drives down to meet Shinji. Her first words to him were, "Sorry, I made you wait." This, I believe, is the first of many times their interactions will revolve around the theme of "Waiting." The line also contrasts with her final words to Shinji, "Let's continue when you get back."

Her cross is first brought to our attention through Shinji's eyes as Misato shields him from the blast of explosions from the Self-defense force's missiles used against Sakiel. Then, on their way to NERV, Shinji confides to her about his feelings towards Gendou. Misato empathizes, saying, "You're just like me," pointing to their commonalities.

She later consoles Shinji as he refuses to pilot Eva-01 and tells him to "Not run away from himself." At this point, she was already seeing herself reflected in Shinji, and those words were meant for herself as well.

After this point, Misato constantly finds herself reflected on Shinji. While it has a positive influence, like in episode 1, it also frequently caused Shinji to hurt. One criticism viewers lay on Misato is the sarcastic tone she sometimes takes when talking to Shinji about his actions. "You don't want to pilot the Eva? With that kind of determination…. What a pain!", Is one of the harsh words directed at Shinji. Even in episode 12, her cold reaction to Shinji's contemplation regarding Asuka is also, in its own way, infamous.

Yet, if we consider that she sees a lot of herself in Shinji, those lines come to represent her self-contempt rather than how she sees the fourteen-year-old. Misato was not really in the position to take care of teenagers if we consider her character flaws.

While such actions are worthy of criticism, there is room to empathize considering the traumas she had to endure, which has shaped the kind of "Adult" she became. As a young child, she was in the center of the Second Impact, and the psychological impact has led to her being mute for a few years. However, she seemed to have eventually recovered. Perhaps to compensate, we are told that she became an overly happy and talkative person. On top of this, she has studied hard and become a student at the Second-Tokyo city University. She met and began living with Kaji in the year 2005, at the age of twenty. According to Ritsuko, she even had a week-long sex marathon with Kaji, where neither of them left the house during the period.

To elaborate on her constant need for physical pleasure, we can start from the glimpse of her inner monologue we get during the instrumentality. We learn that it was one of the few things she had control over that made her feel alive when she was intimate with Kaji. Yet she breaks up with him because She saw a glimpse of her father reflected in him, although that was what got her attracted to him in the first place.

What are you embarrassed about? You wanted the man you love to see you for who you were. NO!

I wonder about that. You wanted your father to see you for who you were. That's not true!

We can identify Misato as struggling with Electra Complex (Oedipus Complex for girls) regarding how she views her father. She then attempted to quench the thirst for affection her father failed to provide her from a different man who felt similar to him. This can be observed through Kaji and Shinji. Two people sharing the same character flaws as her father (Workaholic and being bad at human interaction) being the two people she opened herself up to (Mentally, emotionally, and sexually). Misato was hoping to compensate for the loss she suffered and recover from her past trauma using her relationship with these two.

Consciously or unconsciously, she likely understood this side of herself. She felt disgusted by herself, leading to her breaking up with Kaji while punishing and labeling herself as someone "Undeserving to love." While her relationship with Kaji was open and overtly described in the series, some of you might wonder how Shinji is involved in this process. Especially regarding the sexual aspect of this analysis.

We can definitively say that Misato and Shinji do not share a simple Guardianship relation. But the discussion about Misato and Shinji can wait for now. First, let us discuss Hyuga Makoto.

Hyuga is seen approaching Misato as more than just a direct superior at work (Especially after Kaji's death). "Only if it's with you (I don't mind dying from the base self-destructing)." It is a telling line that highlights Hyuga's feelings that he begins acting on in the latter part of the series. Turning him into a more dimensional character. While Misato seems to be aware of such advances, we never see her acting on it. Neither accepting nor rejecting him outright. Since this is at the low point of her emotional journey, Misato would have been okay with anyone. Thus, it makes us wonder if there could have been more intimacy between the two off-screen. I'd argue that Hyuga died a virgin (or at least that there was no sexual relationship between the two) based on Hyuga's fantasy during the instrumentality.

To bring our discussion back to Kaji, we are shown that he was the first man she trusted and gave her first intimacy to. At the same time, she was someone Kaji was able to trust and be vulnerable with. We never see either of them refer to each other by their names. While the reason is not depicted, we can make an educated guess and say that it stems from their determination to interact professionally. Without letting their (embarrassing) past hinder their work.

But perhaps it was destined that this guise was not meant to be. In episode 15, we see the two confide in each other. Misato laments about her father and her regret of not being a good lover for Kaji. Kaji embraces and accepts her of it. The last time they ever shared a bed, Kaji gives her his final present. His death led to Misato shedding many tears, but the present helped guide her to her next step. Before this point, we see her constantly drinking her favorite beer, but never after this event. All we see her drink from then on is canned coffee, Kaji's favorite drink. And now, two peoples' worth of "Will" lived on inside her. One from her father, the other from Kaji.

Now, let's discuss the last "Male" in her life: Shinji. As mentioned earlier, Shinji was more than just a child under her care. Shinji's first introduction of Misato was through her photo that she sent him. It is a revealing photo of herself with arrows drawing attention to her breast. As a side note, the actual words in this image were written by Anno himself, and the lipstick mark was from one of the female Gainax staff.

From the photo, we can see that Misato wants Shinji to see her as more than a potential caretaker (as ethically should), but as someone of opposite gender and a "potential" love interest. Although, of course, we can brush it aside as a part of her quirky and fun-loving attitude. But the problem arises in the latter part of the series where this attitude crosses the line. The suspicion is confirmed in the official pamphlet's character introduction describing her as Shinji's family + co-worker + superior + "lover."

Misato: Shinji, I'm going in. This is about all I can do for you right now.

Shinji: No!

The scene central to this discussion happens in episode 23 when she takes her seat next to Shinji, who is grieving the death of Second Rei on his bed. Although surface-level reading is, Misato wants to hold his hands to comfort him. If that is the case, the line "This is all I can do for you right now" is unnecessary. And not only that, but Shinji's rejection of this advance is also too strong to justify the conclusion of the surface level analysis. If anything comes to mind about an act that two grown-up adults do on the bed is "Sex."

Even if we try to give the benefit of the doubt and stay at the surface-level conclusion that is psychologically comfortable, this is Evangelion. It refuses psychological comfort. The film book released by Gainax has a note about this scene that says, "Misato is attempting to give Shinji her body." This is even alluded to in the shot right before the line, the head of the chair being where Shinji's Penis would be, and Misato coming to sit right on top of it.

Throughout the series, both Misato and Asuka approach Shinji as the "Other sex." it's natural for Asuka since they are the same age. However, it is unnatural to think of Misato (Who is twice his age) approaching Shinji sexually (neither should be accepted). So let's dive into how Misato might think about that. As early as episode 2, we are shown Misato yelling at Ritsuko through the phone, saying, "There is no way I will lay my hands on a boy!". This is perhaps foreshadowing what she will be doing in the later part of the series. So what changed in her throughout the series that she would end up trying to lay her hands on Shinji sexually. Did she genuinely believe that it was the only way she can console Shinji? Or perhaps there was a more selfish reason, to distract herself from the sadness of losing Kaji? Well, it could be both. There is a middle ground and an explanation that I prefer. Kaji was the only man she allowed herself to be vulnerable with. Because the best means of communication between the two have been sexual, she most likely believed this to be the most effective way to empathize and be vulnerable with Shinji.

We can see this as another manifestation of her Electra complex if we consider that Shinji also reminds her of her father.

As many of you are aware, Evangelion borrows concepts from psychology and is strongly influenced by Freudian psychoanalysis. Psychological terms are heavily used, especially in later episodes. The characters' internal conflicts are put into the spotlight in episodes 18, 19, and 20. All these episodes use terms from psychoanalysis for their title. Let me touch on each of them briefly over here. Episode 18's title is "Ambivalence." It refers to the coexistence of two conflicting emotions (Love and hate) regarding something and was coined by Eugen Bleuler in 1911. Freud borrowed this term in his analysis. His followers believed it to be an essential state that leads to the sadistic sub-phase of development. Episode 18 is also when the dummy-controlled Eva Unit-01 destroys Bardiel. Thus the title can also help us understand the Destrudo-led sadistic destruction of the dummy program.

Episode 19's title is "Introjection" and was a term heavily used by Freud. It is the unconscious adoption of the ideas or attitudes of others and a psychological defensive mechanism used by the ego to minimize anxiety. Almost every human being goes through this phase and is a part of healthy development as an individual. Episode 19 is when Shinji emits a strong dose of Destrudo and achieves a 400% synchronization rate. Here, we can try to explain the use of this term for the episode title in two ways. The first is to refer to the synchronization process of the pilot and the Evangelion. Secondly (and more specifically to the episode), to refer to Shinji becoming an individual that has become a part of Unit-01. Becoming a part of Unit-01 who have just absorbed the S2 engine and become as though god.

Last is episode 20, titled "Oral stage," and is the stage central to Freud's theory of Libido's development. Libido is the potential sexual energy, and Freud categorized the development into four distinct stages, starting with the oral stage. During this stage of development, the child clings onto its mother's breast for nourishment. This is also when the child begins to develop the ability to distinguish between themselves and the other. The significant happening of episode 20 is salvaging Shinji from Unit-01's Core, trying to bring Shinji back as an individual and away from the comfort of his mother. This can be seen to parallel the child leaving its mother's womb and coming to be born into its own person. And to add, they had to inject Libido into the Core to salvage him.

To return from our long detour, Evangelion is a series that heavily draws its conceptual inspiration from Psychology and Freudian psychoanalysis. What Freud posits, and perhaps most central to his scholarship, understands that desires created by both Libido and Destrudo, any forms of mental energy are irresistible and irrepressible. That is to say, if during one's development if any of such mental energies' expressions are disturbed and blocked off, it will results in the development of harmful coping mechanisms as an adult. In the case of Misato, her father's absence resulted in the absence of ways to healthily release her Libido. Therefore, Misato's inappropriate advance towards Shinji could manifested the harmful coping mechanism she developed as a child.

Losing her father as a child resulted in dysregulation in Libido. Losing Kaji, the only person she truly loved, left Masato broken. At this point, she had no other way to release her desires other than laying hands on a vulnerable child. When both Shinji and Penpen refused her the physical affection she needed, she could only find comfort in listening to Kaji's final voice message in repeat. Yet, she did not lose all possibility to recover. She was able to dry out her tears and began to follow the road her father once took. This leads her to analyze the evidence Kaji passes onto her and begins questioning the truth behind Rei. By the end, she manages to reach close enough to understand the "Truth." This is how she was able to explain to Shinji what was going on. She also experiences character growth through this process, becoming able to fully understand and empathize with the pain of others.

This is also when we see her starting to differ from Asuka. While both lost Kaji, whom they both loved, Misato comes to accept this loss and can carry herself as an adult. By the end, she was mature enough to send the grieving Shinji to Unit-01 during the End of Evangelion. While Misato has always convinced Shinji to get on the Eva, now, she was different from the past. Unlike in episode 4, where she emotionally manipulated Shinji into piloting Eva. Unlike episode 12, where she drew a hard line and coldly forced him. In EOE, she was no longer forcing Shinji out of her own hatred of the angels. All there was, was a grown adult's desire to convince a child that "Life is worth living." Even if she were to die during this process. All there was, was Misato's advice as an adult to the crying child. And it was this "will to live" that was passed on from Misato to Shinji.

Misato places her necklace on Shinji's hands and wraps his hands around it. Just as how she once held onto it while facing death in its face. Her father's memento. The love towards one's family. Hope for humanity. And all else that the cross symbolized. And the cross passed on from Misato to Shinji like the passing of the torch. To pass on the will to live. This was followed by a grown-up's kiss, just like how Kaji showed her, the perfect way to, perhaps the only way to fully communicate this will and pass it on. To want the other to continue living and hoping to live on as a part of their memory.

With the kiss, Misato stopped pretending to be Shinji's inept guardian.

She sent Shinji off, hoping that he could become a grown-up who can stand by himself.

Misato: You will be alone from this point on. You need to choose for yourself.

Shinji: No. I can't.

Misato: Crying isn't going to solve anything, either!

Misato: You hate yourself, don't you? That's why you hurt others. Deep down, you know that you suffer more when you cause someone else pain than if you just let yourself get hurt. But Shinji, that was your decision, so that makes it a valid choice. That's what you wanted, so that makes it worthwhile, Stop lying to yourself, and realize that you do have options. Then accept the choices that you made.

Shinji: But you're not me. You don't understand!

Misato: So what if I'm not you?! That doesn't mean it's okay for you to give up! If you do, I'll NEVER forgive you as long as I live.

Misato: I'm not perfect either. I've made tons of stupid mistakes, and later, I regretted them. And I've done it over and over again. A cycle of hollow joy and vicious self-hatred. But even so, every time, I learned something about myself.

Please, Shinji. You've got to pilot Eva and settle this once and for all. Find out why you came here. Why you exist at all.

And when you've found your answers, come back to me. Promise me. See you soon.

Kaji: Go and do what you can. No one will force that choice on you. Think for yourself and decide for yourself. GO and do what you must right now. So that you don't live to regret it.

Misato: If I had known it would end like this, I would have changed the carpet as Asuka suggested.

Many discussions about Eva centered around her last words, the one about the Carpet and Asuka. Most of the theories have interpreted it with the spilled coffee during the instrumentality scene. I'll touch on the scenes shown in instrumentality in future chapters. But for the discussion here, note that the coffee was not spilled on the carpet during the instrumentality scenes. So I'd instead interpret this line separately from it. Personally, I believe this to be Misato, as an adult, regretting not being as kind and compassionate as she could have been to Asuka.

Unlike Shinji, who she managed to pass on her will and true feelings, she did not have that privilege with Asuka. Instead, she wallowed in her sadness, not looking out for Asuka, who was herself suffering from traumas and grief. The regret of not being a good guardian and not making the home comfortable for Asuka would have hit her as waves of regret crashed in as she laid bleeding cold on the floor of section R-20.

After Shinji, who she just sent off, Asuka, who she feels sorry for, After Penpen, who was always there for her, Kaji now crosses her mind. Was she waiting for his praise for passing on his will to Shinji?

As though she can see him, she stares at the sky. Right before the explosion, we see Rei standing over her. Perhaps it was Lilith who traveled through time.

And we come to the final scene of the EoE. Shinji and Asuka are lying down on the shore, staring at the sky. At this moment, we are reminded of Misato through the cross, now nailed to a wooden post. The cross has come to symbolize Misato's hope and dreams for the two children who will now be growing up into two adults. Will Misato be able to revert back to her human form by her soul desiring it? Nobody knows. But I don't think that matters. Because now, Shinji carries on her will.

Let's continue when you get back.

I'm back. Welcome back.

Welcome Shinji, this is your new home.

I'm back.

Welcome back!

Sorry, made you wait!

TBC Chapter 24: Ritsuko Part 1 Mother and Daughter

[wibble-wobbegong]

MIKE!!!

listen you're like ik i've said this before but your way of getting mike is so good i'd talk abt mike with you literally anyday anymoment so tell me what makes mike The Character for you? also what are like, the mike moments that most have a hold on your heart, like the told you, physics scene i know that's a big scene for you and saame man i think about it daily and i bet so does vecna, so like along with that what are like your favorite mike moments?

oh my god okay. what makes mike The character?

honestly, i’ve just never seen a character given the amount of depth and complexity mike has. the relationships he has with the people around him fascinate me because they all tie together in such unique ways that it really makes mike feel more human than any other character i’ve ever seen. something just amazes me about human connection, and mike’s story is being told almost entirely through his relationships with other people!! in order to understand him, you have to really look at how he interacts with everyone since his character is built around the love and compassion he has for the people he holds close. you can never really understand mike’s relationship with will if you don’t understand his relationship with el. you won’t understand mike’s relationship with lucas if you don’t understand mike’s relationship with will. you won’t see the value in mike’s relationship with dustin if you don’t look at all the other things happening in his life. everything is so interconnected y’know?

something else i really like is that even though mike’s character is sort of tragic, that isn’t what his story is about. mike has been going on a journey of self acceptance from the very start of the show, but it looks so different every season!!! it’s also the way mike brings people together in such unconventional ways too. he doesn’t give the grand speeches of how they need to work together because he doesn’t need to. he has a natural charm and intense determination to protect the people he loves that people just kinda come together around him. you don’t usually see a leader character who doesn’t also act as a beacon of hope. mike is resilient in holding out his own hope, but he’s not particularly good at giving other people that same hope (excluding will) but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just another subversion of tropes that i think is done pretty well

and then, obviously, his journey with his sexuality is written so uniquely. a lot of gay men seem to fall into the same couple of tropes when it comes to self discovery, and those characters aren’t given the same nuance mike has been given. the way they integrated his sexuality into his story with el is just INSANE to me because that was such an interesting route to take since mike’s relationship with el carries so many layers on its own from the familial tendencies and promises to be there for her they also added in the fact that mike was in love with his best friend. they add it in such subtle ways that you actually do have to be paying close attention to notice it. like, the way he doesn’t touch her and will even take her hands off him when they’re alone and the difference in how he treats her based on whether or not they’re in a relationship is distinctly queer when you’re a queer person, but for many they just don’t notice details like that. there has just been so much care put into the way they’ve chosen to tell mike’s story in this way that i kinda fell in love with it

i’d say that being in love with will is subtle, but it really isn’t. he’s been clearly written as in love with will from the moment heroes played and we saw mike crying while “we kissed as though nothing could fall” played in the background. honestly, i’ve written so many posts about mike’s relationship with will i think you guys know how much i love the way they’ve written it

as for my favorite Michael Moments? here’s a top ten off the top of my head but i’m not explaining anything or else this post would literally need a cut off

1. the shed monologue in s2

2. mike’s talk with el at sbp

3. the wheelclair apology scene

actual mike moments vvv

4. mike explaining that his dinosaur is named rory because he roars

5. mike yelling and getting super hype about erica landing a crit hit

6. the terror of seeing women’s underwear (honestly just that entire shopping montage)

7. TOLD YOU. PHYSICS.

8. holding dart and going “what IS he”

9. vomit green socks

10. his dramatic dnd moments. like the screeching while the thesselhydra dies and being like WHAT NO HE WAS KILLED BY KAS 😧 when eddie revealed vecna

[accidentallyadramablog]

Review: Down With Love (2010)

I felt a little nostalgic this week and decided to rewatch Down With Love, a romcom out of Taiwan featuring Ella Chen (from Hana Kimi) and Jerry Yan (Meteor Garden).

This is more of a brain dump as opposed to a real review. More below the cut.

Let me just start with the fact I love dramas with tomboys, gender benders, and gender non-conforming women and girls in general. I'm a 40 yr old gnc bi-woman, so some of these storylines really resonate with me - despite the trend of making those female characters glaringly stupid and pitiable.

Tags: Nanny, Love Square, Tomboy, Male Chases Female First, Sismance, Rich Man/Poor Woman, Pretends To Be Gay, Single Parent, Sisterhood, Boss/Employee Relationship

Our girl Ella Chen plays tomboy Yang Guo. Yang Guo works, has friends, and a shitty boyfriend of 5 years. She acts naïve, but she actually has a lot of life experience due to a *tragic backstory*. After her mother died, her father ruined the family business. Their family plunged from riches to rags and their father abandoned them. Yang Guo is 6 when this happens and it falls on her older sister Yang Duo to raise them both while homeless, starving, and navigating the homeless camps in the parks of Taipei.

Yang Duo (Kelly Huang) has raised her little sister by herself, beginning from poverty and homelessness to having a house and making a life for themselves. They bicker good-naturedly, but Yang Duo is very protective and supportive of her sister. She's managed to earn a job at a prestigious law firm as an admin assistant with strong accounting skills. She is seen as frugal, clever, and competent. Several characters make comments throughout the series about how it was a shame that she didn't go into certain careers because she's so accomplished despite not having a formal education. It's obvious that Yang Duo has put her own dreams and happiness on hold to make sure that she and Guo have financial security. Yang Duo is my favorite character btw. She is a supporting character that is multi-faceted and has her own character arc. I really like seeing her growth in this drama, and she gets some cute side couple action later in the series. Skip the last episode.

Due to growing up in poverty and scrabbling to lower-middle-class, the two girls work nonstop. After Guo is fired from her job waiting tables, Duo gets Guo a job as a nanny for her boss Xiang Yu Ping by lying and saying Guo is a lesbian.

Xiang Yu Ping (Jerry Yan) owns his own law firm and is seen as cold and overbearing. He is raising his dead brother's kids and none of the nannies he's hired have lasted either due to being chased off by the kids (a la the Sound of Music) or by trying to seduce him because he's a rich handsome lawyer. Relieved to have found a nanny who definitely wouldn't seduce him (because he thinks she's a lesbian), he just pays an unreasonably huge salary to keep her there with the kids despite their abuse.

Supporting characters: Amanda Chu as the best friend Yan Ling with the messy dating life is also delightful, but I've enjoyed all her roles. I may rewatch Lion Pride for her, now that I'm walking down memory lane. The office of 'just some lawyer dudes being dudes' are funny. I love when they gather around to watch drama and place bets on what's happening. They're also slackers. I would love/hate to work with them.

So that's the setup.

Honestly, I hate the 'pretends to be gay' plots. It's typically really offensive and this was no exception in a lot of places. (It's not at the same level as Personal Taste, but it's bad.) One of the cases Yu Ping takes on is unlawful termination and blackmail of a gay teacher and he asks for Yang Guo's advice to help the man. Taiwan was trying in 2010, but it wasn't exactly good representation to have a fake lesbian help an actual gay man faced with employment discrimination and blackmail over his orientation. When I compare this with Love is Science (2021 twdrama) that has two out lgbt characters employed in their office with significant roles, I'm just so happy that lgbtq media representation is still progressing.

I don't care about Yu Ping's best friend Qi Ke Zhong or Yu Ping's ex-girlfriend Ding Hui Fan because they're both terrible people that don't deserve forgiveness and their only purpose was to drag out our leads getting together. Since this was a rewatch, I knew how much I hated their scenes and skipped them as much as I could. You're not missing anything. Someone on YT needs to just make a Yang Duo/Xiang Yu Ping cut, tbh. Also? Go ahead and skip the deadbeat father.

The nanny bit only lasts three episodes (the kids are adorable), but it's long enough for Yu Ping to catch feelings and think his lesbian nanny is cute. He actually is not cold and overbearing as episode 1 makes him out to be. Yu Ping is supportive and tries to be a good friend to Guo. When he thinks her 'girlfriend' is cheating on her, he absolutely flips out because he feels she deserves to be respected and loved in her relationship. He learns about her family. He learns about her friends. He knows where to look for her when she's upset. He knows how to cheer her up and later, he knows how to make the perfect date. When he finds out she lied about being a lesbian, he's not even mad. He admits it was his fault for making certain demands in the employment contract. He's just upset that he's lost chances to flirt and court her.

Listen. It's a dumb premise in this drama and the misunderstandings suck. But it's so refreshing to see male leads be decent to women that are romantically and sexually unavailable to them. The bar is so low, in RL and in dramas, that Yu Ping belongs in the top tier of male drama leads. This dude was just going to continue in a supportive friendship for an undetermined time, both when he thought she was a lesbian and later when his shitty weasel of a best friend dated her under false pretenses. He didn't burden her with a confession until her relationship was over. And whenever she asked for space, he gave it to her. And when she confronted him on instances of jealously, he apologized and gave her space.

Yu Ping never tries to change Guo. He doesn't give her a makeover. She has a makeover scene that is instigated by another character and all he does is try to make her comfortable when she's so obviously uncomfortable. Then he cheers inwardly when he sees her overcome her awkwardness and have confidence. But by the end of the drama, she is still dressing and acting the same as in act 1. It honestly reminded me a little of Coffee Prince in that the fancy male lead is still just as enamored with his gnc woman by the end and the way she presents herself doesn't have an effect on their romantic relationship. Again, this is content catered to me as a bi & gnc woman in a relationship with a cis-het man. I often am mistaken for a man when I go out with my spouse and he's still super into me so let's normalize gnc people with gc people already it's 2021.

Anyway, if you watch romances for kisses, there's really only a couple of pecks and one nice passionate kiss and they're all in basically the last 3 eps of the series.

The last episode sucks. Stop at episode 15. Seriously. Don't watch episode 16. Why oh why do you let terrible people back in your life? Qi Ke Zhong and Ding Hui Fan are toxic and should but cut out of their lives. The end of ep 15 had a happy ending with a family-style breakfast for our two sisters with their boyfriends. Ep 16 threw in some more misunderstanding, jealousy, and separations followed by a time skip for no reason and brought back my two least favorite characters.

Anyway, I will live in my little world with Yang Duo and her sweet lawyer boyfriend Liang Zhi Hao (Ian Yim/Cyran Yan/Yan Yi En yeah, this actor has three stage names) that supports her interests and self-determination while they save money on mass transit by using his motorbike. And they build her dream home that she designs. Perhaps they put aside funds for her to pursue a degree in what she's passionate about.

[xbloodrunsredx]

Could you tell me what you think of the way the creators have instilled Rick and Morty relationship thoughout the show ? I've noticed that you're pretty good at explaining things so I was wondering if you wanted to showcase the "proofs" of their relationship. Anyway I love your fanfic "fire consumes fire" and I'm reading it right now, it's great !

For sure! Have fun with Fire Consumes Fire, it's my baby <3

I'll analyse season one for now and point out the creative choices and underlying themes as my proof! Let me know if you want to see more seasons though :)

An important thing to remember is that things like grooming and sexual abuse are not just about touching someone or being touched. Things like exposing a child to/forcing a child to watch a sexual act, speaking to a child in a sexually explicit way, and undressing yourself or them (typically older than the age they'll need to be bathed for that one) all count as aspects and types of sexual abuse.

Now some people might think that's less important because Morty is fourteen and at that age where male sexuality is a little more domineering but, canonically, Rick has been in Morty's life since he was twelve at most, possibly younger.

(Rick celebrating Morty's 13th birthday: Mindblowers)

There's a lot of time missing, and if we're assuming that Rick's attitude has remained consistent, then it means this has been a common theme since Morty was prepubescent.

The first episode is relatively tame, but it plays an important role in establishing the family hierarchy, and does a lot with the ever infamous megaseeds. There have been a lot of fanfictions about the seeds and for good reason - though not overtly sexual in nature, it establishes a certain level of control over Morty. Morty lacks bodily autonomy and the ability to tell Rick no. He does what Rick says, even if it means sacrificing his own body, and it is the first step the creators took in creating a warped dynamic between them. It sets the stage for further abuse of power by Rick, which is important to make the future episodes realistic and true to character consistently. Somewhat separately, throughout the show you'll see me note instances where you can see the show easing us into sexually explicit interactions between the two - we are desensitised to Morty's blatant sexuality before we're introduced to Rick's, which is really interesting considering who they are. The difference is that they need to put in more work to make Morty someone viewed through a sexual lens in an effort to get us used to him and how we'll see him portrayed in the future. Then they introduce Rick's sexuality, and even later how their sexualities interact with each other.

This next episode draws directly on the assumptions we make based on the first episode about sexuality, and expands even further. When incepting Morty's math teacher, we now see a focus on Rick's sexuality - he involves himself in bondage in a sex dungeon in front of Morty, and encourages Morty to participate. This time we see Morty deny him, clearly not comfortable with it despite being intrigued. Something really interesting is Summer in this episode: while some may not think it's important in relation to Rick and Morty's relationship, her trying to sleep with them establishes the first theme of incest we see in the show and sets a playing field: the creators are saying it's their show and they can make who they want to be sexual to who they want.

Something else I think is important in season one is that after heavily sexual episodes, we get a break where the following episodes are family based. That's why we're skipping anatomy park for now, to go into episode four: the episode where Rick undresses himself, forces Morty to undress, steals his clothes and makes him walk around naked. Sure, his intentions aren't outwardly nefarious - there is reasonable evidence that Rick knew Morty was a simulation for a decent while, but I'll focus on if he didn't for now - but that doesn't make it less important to the development of abuse structures. Morty is incapable of telling Rick no when Rick puts his mind to doing something: the surrender of autonomy to Rick is really important for creating an abusive cycle. What if Rick had been lying? How would Morty have known? What could he have done? Morty gives in without really knowing what he's giving into.

Meeseeks and Destroy, in my opinion, is one of the most important episodes in determining abuse. Something I like to think about, is the central figure of Morty's life. Rick, right? When Morty chooses his own adventure, it's akin to him trying to reclaim his autonomy and trying to exert his influence. He tries to become his own central figure, and in doing so he meets Mr Jellybean. Two things happen as a result: Morty associates being in control of himself with getting assaulted, and we see a demonised version of Rick in Mr Jellybean. Hear me out! Mr Jellybean is the replacement of Rick in this episode as a figure that shoves Morty around, makes him uncomfortable, makes him do things he doesn't want to do, but with a sexual twist. Mr Jellybean's temper when he doesn't get what he wants and the sudden calm when he does, is eerily reflective of blackout drunk Rick.

We get a mix of a family episode and a sexually explicit episode here so I won't go into too much detail - but the distinct separation of Rick and Morty from the rest of their family when they leave creates a dynamic where Morty can rely on Rick as the only constant. It separates him from the rest of his family and the rest of the world in a lot of ways, which heavily contributes to his mindset.

The next episode is one where the creator definitely try and push a distrust by the family in regards to Rick and Morty's relationship. Rick lets Morty buy a sex bot while they're out named Gwendolyn - Morty adapts quickly and happily to his more sexually active lifestyle until he asks Rick to come upstairs. Beth says then: "Okay, now if we hear squeaking, we intervene." Rick is attempting to fix Gwendolyn and jumps on the bed, which prompts the entire family to come to Morty's room to stop whatever it is that is happening. Like I've mentioned previously, they follow really explicit episodes with family stuff - this episode somewhat follows that by splitting it in half: half is explicit and the rest has Rick and Morty separated while we take in the new information given to us. Beth thought Rick would have sex with Gwendolyn, possibly in a threesome or something - if the character believes it, then the creators wants us to believe it too.

The next two episodes are family orientated, where we focus less on Rick and Morty and more specific members of their family, we're introduced to a flipped dynamic via Evil Morty and his Rick. Morty ponders his own worth as Rick devalues his existence and treats him like one would an object which is another aspect of abuse that gets referenced in the future. My interest for now lies in the use of Mortys and how they're viewed by Ricks. Evil Morty perpetuates that and attempts to go about it in a Rick-esque way. Which, of course, means tying naked teenagers to the outside of a building - there isn't a need for them to be naked, but Evil Morty does that in order to push the idea of it being something a Rick would cook up while also turning on himself. The idea that there are good Ricks, bad Ricks and worse Ricks makes for an interesting idea that begs the question: if the Rick next to C-137 on the scale is believed to be capable of doing that to hundreds of Mortys, then what is our Rick capable of?

The last episode is undeniably tame by comparison and is another family orientated episode to make up for the last one. It is undeniable that a lot of work has been put into making Rick and and Morty's dynamic reflect that of sexual abuse and grooming, a theme that grows more apparent with every new season.

[agnesgoesadventuring-blog]

I know you posted it a long time ago but I have to bring it up because I just saw it and it made me so upset. It was the list about how m/m ships are fetishizing gay men. I'm a woman who loves m/m ships because I want diversity on tv. It's so unfair that you say we're feyishizing anyone and it just seems like you're trying to push your heteronormativity on people because you aren't comfortable with gay ships.

There's a lot to address here. I'm sorry that you're upset, but if you're upset by the discussion about the fetishization of gay men by fandom, either you didn't understand what was being said (either willfully or otherwise), or it's because of the fact that it can be upsetting to be confronted with having done something wrong.

Shipping m/m ships is not inherently fetishizing of gay men. Interesting relationships are interesting relationships and chemistry is chemistry regardless of the genders and sexualities of the character involved, and whether or not we're interested in a relations or drawn to the chemistry between two characters is not necessarily determined by our own genders and sexual identities. Even m/m smut isn't, in itself, inherently fetishizing.

It comes down to the behavior surrounding the shipping, the way in which characters are framed, perceived, and written by the fans. A great deal of smut fic for m/m couples is written in a way that is meant to titillate and arouse women, rather than to do that for the gay men whose sexualities identities are being portrayed, or in ways that are about exploring the connection between the characters through sex. That treats the characters, the gay men the stories are about, as objects that exist for the sexual arousal and titillation of women. That is what fetishizing is. Furthermore, these stories are often written without knowledge or regard of how men actually engage in sex with each other and what's healthy and safe.

So m/m smut fic is not inherently fetishizing, but when it's written to arouse a female audience and reduces the men to sexual fantasies, it's fetishizing. When male characters are engaging in unhealthy and unsafe sex and it's being framed as sexy and romantic, that's fetishizing.

There's also the way that there's often a very heteronormative framing of these pairings, with the characters being pushed into roles that focus on ideas of one being the "man" and one being the "woman", even if such ideas aren't outright stated.  These pairings are often reduced to one character being in the more masculine/protector role, with the other character being more passive, or softer, given more feminine characteristics, even if they don't necessarily match the canon characterizations. These are heteronormative relationship roles being forced onto a pairing where the characters aren't heterosexual (whether they're portrayed that way in canon or just in fanon), which both ignores the reality of relationship roles in same gender relationships, while again framing the relationships and characters in ways that are meant to appeal to people other than gay men, which treats them as objects that exist for the gratification of people who are not gay men. That's fetishization.

Another problem is the troubling focus on the traumas that gay men often experience, from violence, to discrimination, to sexual assault, not as a means to explore the difficulties of life as a gay man, and not to explore the effect those things would have on a character's development, but as a means of "whump" that facilitates romantic or sexual developments or situations. These situations that actually cause gay men pain, that put them in danger in their real lives are basically being appropriated to, again, appeal to people who are not gay men.

All kinds of people can take part in this kind of thing. It's often straight women, but it's also often bi women, and even sometimes gay women. While it is overwhelmingly women, I have seen men doing it to. The thing about this sort of fetishization is that, while for many people who do it the point is very much sexual, there's also a sort of emotional fetishization to it that can appeal to people who might not be sexually aroused it.

The mere act of shipping m/m relationships does not mean you're fetishizing gay men. But if the content you're creating and/or engaging with does these things, then yes, you are participating in the fetishization of gay men.

So if you were upset by my original post on the topic, either you didn't understand that I wasn't making a blanket statement about shipping m/m pairings, or you recognized the behavior being described as behavior you take part in, and were upset to be called out. And all I can say to that is... it doesn't usually feel good to be confronted with the fact that we're doing something wrong.

I'm assuming that if you read the posts made on the topic, you saw that the perspective of gay men was actually represented in the post by a gay man who emailed me a personal essay on his thoughts on the topic. This was a gay man saying "this hurts me". Think about that and think about what you're saying in this ask. Which sounds more valid here? The gay man saying that he's upset by the way a lot of slash shipping, possibly the kind in which you engage, objectifies his identity and uses it for people who don't share that identity to get off in different ways? Or you, a woman who ships m/m ships, being upset because gay men don't like that their identities are being objectified in order to get other people off? When the people who are directly effected by these things speak, we can't just ignore them because we don't like what they're saying.

Not wanting gay men to be objectified and fetishized isn't "pushing heteronormativity". If anything, it's pushing back against it because a lot of the things that are happening here are pushing heteronormativity on these same gender pairings, whether it's the focus on which character takes on the masculine role and which takes on the feminine role, and a lot of dynamics that often show up in smut.

Furthermore, I am not heterosexual. I am asexual and therefor do not identify with most heteronormative ideas. I want respectful representation for all sexualities, including gay men. But what is happening in the things discussed above is not respectful representation. It's actively harmful.

If you don't want to fetishize gay men when you're shipping m/m pairings, don't engage in the behavior discussed above. Shipping m/m ships is not by any means fetishizing them. But when you're treating them and their experiences as objects that exist for the enjoyment of people who are not gay men in ways that morph their experiences and relationships into things that will be more palatable for people who aren't gay men, like the preoccupation of patriarchal gender roles, unrealistic, unhealthy, and unsafe portrayals of sex in smut, the traumatic life experiences they have to endure being used to facilitate sex or romance, and so on, you are fetishizing them. If you really want to ship them in ways that create more representation and that put more diverse representation into fandom, don't approach them from the perspective of "how would this be hot for me" or "how would this be romantic to me" and start thinking about how gay men would actually see it, and how they would actually want to see characters and pairings like them portrayed.

It's really interesting that you brought this back up at the same time that erasing/infantalizing/demonizing female characters for the sake of m/m ships is being discussed, because there's often overlap there.