#also its good in a way that is indescribable you should listen to it

[not-a-choice]

Listened to MYTH side one and was so overcome with the need for it exist physically that I immediately bought the album and burned it to CD

[hongherbac]

[Serizawa centric] The Humanity of S&S - Chapter 5

Read it on AO3

Chapter: 5/6

Fandom: モブサイコ100 | Mob Psycho 100 Rating: General Audiences

Non-Romantic Relationships: Seirizawa Katsuya & Reigen Arataka & Dimple

Summary: Serizawa saved the day.

Chapter 5

The house shook violently. Reigen quickly held onto the wall to steady himself. The aged wooden beams groaned and creaked, and dust fell from the ceiling. Black smoke writhed and surged in the air, growing deeper and denser, filling the entire room with an ominous color which did not belong to the present world, and gradually coalescing into a faintly glowing spirit.

First, there were the legs, like giant toothpicks, piercing into the wooden floor, reflecting an insect-like glow. The legs connected to a shapeless mass of a body, with two round eyes tearing blood and countless bitter lips growing all over the body. All of the lips opened as it spoke and screamed in unison, emitting a deep, piercing scream.

The evil spirit rose. The old woods collapsed with a hideous roar. The huge chunk burst through the ceiling, sending up a cloud of dust and debris. Tiles and buildings came crashing down, narrowly missing them.

"Kaishi, my good man, come here to me."

The spirit reached out with an insect pincer. The client looked frightened, but his eyes were blank, as if he had given up thinking.

"No! Don't listen to her! Come back!" Reigen shouted. The client, mesmerized, reached out his hand to meet the spirit's insect limb. At that moment, the limb wrapped tightly around him and retreated. The man disappeared in an instant.

"As for you, the disobedient BAD kids…"

"Hey, I'm sorry. How about I tutor your daughter--"

"Reigen, you idiot! Get out of the way!"

Dimple rushed into Reigen's body. The main beam collapsed and crashed to the ground. Reigen/Dimple jumped back, flipped over, dodged more splintered wood, and almost landed safely. He took out the cell phone, intending to call for help, only to find no service. The spirit was so powerful that the cell phone signal was blocked out.

Reigen/Dimple looked around. The black worms that had stuck to the walls began to merge with each other, forming into a continuous black slime. The evil spirit was turning this place into another dimension, determined not to let them escape. Even he will be eaten.

It was bad. "Damn it, Reigen. After  we get out of here, you're going to pay for this." A huge insect limb swung down from the air, and Reigen/Dimple barely rolled out of the way, "Also, you should really get some exercise!"

The black slime quietly extended a tentacle. By the time he realized it, his ankle was firmly grasped.

"Shit!" The tentacle yanked so hard that he lost his balance and fell to the ground, then he felt his body lift into the air, suspended upside down. Through his inverted vision, he saw an unprecedentedly huge spirit with dense insect legs, its bloated, bulky body tearing through the entire house. Space was distorting outside, writhing with indescribable colors. Countless mouths opened and closed, emitting viscous wails of agony.

Black light gathered in front of the spirit. The energy was so dense that the air hissed and crackled with pulsating arcs of lightning. Reigen/Dimple struggled desperately, kicking at its tentacles in vain.

He watched as the energy beam shot toward him.

A purple light flashed. The black beam was cut in half, splitting in opposite directions, like a turbulent river being diverted by a boulder, pounding violently against the banks with fury. The energy collision sent out an incredibly powerful shockwave, almost blowing everything away.

The tentacle was dissolved by the energy. Reigen/Dimple raised his hands in front of his eyes, struggling against the hurricane. Dimple couldn't help but be blown out of Reigen's body, spinning several times in the air. Without the support of the spirit, Reigen exclaimed in shock, almost falling from the second floor directly to the ground. A purple aura caught him just in time.

"I'm sorry, Reigen-san!" Serizawa took a step forward, shielding them from the evil spirit, "I'm late."

"Yo, Serizawa, good job. I knew you'd come." Reigen patted the dust off and stood up in calm.

"You… are also… an unfilial bad child…" The evil spirit turned its deformed body, rolling its two bloody eyes. The lips opened and closed, exhaling a foul stench.

"Serizawa!" Dimple urged, "You can't handle that thing. Let's get out of here!"

Reigen looked at the subordinate, "What do you say? We can just retreat."

"Thank you for your concern, Reigen-san, Dimple." Serizawa held up his umbrella, "But I think I'll be fine."

"In that case, it's all yours."

"Yes, sir!"

The umbrella swung violently, creating a curved purple sword wave that slices through the air, flying toward the spirit. The enormous spirit let out a sharp cry. It tried to block it with several insect legs, but they were all shattered by the surging energy. The sword wave struck the ferocious forehead of the mass, and a fierce purple lightning erupted with a terrible scream.

Like a balloon punctured by a hole, the mass suddenly softened and collapsed. It covered the wound with its insect legs, but black worms continued to spew from inside, shooting out in all directions like a fountain.

"Please stay behind me!" Serizawa unfolded his umbrella, blocking the dense black raindrops. The worms landed on the umbrella, making a slimy, slippery, disgusting sound. Other worms hit the walls at high speed. Wood splinters flew everywhere, and the ground shook violently. The wall collapsed, sending waves of dust and debris into the air.

Serizawa swung the umbrella vigorously, tossing off the worms stuck to the fabric. He gripped the handle tightly as its tip began to form a cluster of purple energy that shone so brightly it was almost blinding. It was like the explosion of an atomic bomb, a force that burned the pupils, far beyond human imagination.

As the purple light ball struck the twisted mass, a powerful shockwave erupted. Thick black smoke rose from the center and everything was blown backward. Reigen half-kneeled, trying to stabilize his body, raised his arms to block the fierce wind. Dimple pulled on Reigen's necktie, fluttering up and down like a carp flag.

Under the sanction of the overwhelming energy, the spirit disintegrated into nothingness.

--Or rather, it should have.

"There's still a piece left!" Dimple shouted as he chased after it. The spirit, with only half of its eyes and a mouth floating in the air, fled in panic, "Get over here. I’m going to eat you alive!"

Her eyes rolled back and her mouth opened wide, drooling as she slowly rose from her bed. Serizawa raised his hand, and the purple aura surrounded him, ready to deliver the final blow.

"Serizawa, stop!" Reigen shouted, "She is too weak to withstand your power. And Dimple, you too!"

"Y-yes? What should we do, Reigen-san?"

The woman opened and closed her mouth mechanically, "Must… stop you… for Rico…"

Her old legs were so thin, like two bamboo poles, that she could barely support herself, relying only on a strong, intense obsession. Her nightgown dragged on the floor as she shuffled toward them, step by step. A horrible moan rose from her throat, mingled with resentment, remorse, and obsession. Her eyes were wide and vacant, gurgling with blood and tears. She stretched out her bony arms as if to strangle someone.

Reigen held those hands firmly. He knelt humbly before the woman.

"Granny, I understand. You're so worried about Rico, aren't you?"

"…"

"You are helpless. Since you got sick, you feel that you have failed as a mother, leaving Rico alone in the world at such a young age."

"I…"

"You want her to go to a good school. You want her to get a good job. You want her to marry a good man," Reigen said, his palm warming the woman's thin, bony, aged hands, "You're afraid you won't live long enough to be there for her, so you're trying to cram all the best you know into her before you leave. You just want Rico to be happy."

"I… just want…"

"I understand. Similarly, please try to understand Rico and Kaishi as well. I'm sure they always loved you, and that's why they went so far for you."

"I… ah… What I really want… How selfish I am…" The woman's eyes welled up with clear tears. "I just… want to see Rico grow up happy… with my own eyes…"

"That's right! That's it!" Reigen emphasized, "That obsession! Since you have such a strong obsession, use it to keep on living your life! Use it to support your beloved family! Fuck the damn disease. You will live to a hundred, and witness Rico's happiness with your own eyes!"

The woman sighed deeply. Her body softened, and she fell into Reigen's embrace.

They were on their way back from work. The setting sun cast a warm golden glow over the street.

"I really thought we were done. Reigen, you bastard," Dimple poked Reigen's head, "Always rushed into danger without thinking, and ended up dragging me into trouble with you. How are you gonna repay me!"

"Nonsense. You ate half my bag of edamame. Don't think I didn't notice."

"Have you ever heard of 'equivalent exchange'?"

Serizawa held the transparent umbrella, its frame casting an oblique shadow across his face, "But it's really surprising. I didn't know that a living wraith could turn out like that."

"After all, a mother's love is the most powerful emotion in the world." Reigen waved his hand.

"Come on. This is way too heavy." Dimple said, "They're just forcing children to be responsible for their parents' happiness. I hate that. If you want something, just work for it yourself!"

"Say, Dimple, why did you think Serizawa wouldn't be able to handle it?"

"He didn't have that much power when he fought Shigeo." Dimple glanced at Serizawa, "Now this umbrella has much more power than ever before. Have you been secretly using it as an energy reservoir?"

"No, I think it's unconscious." Serizawa turned his eyes away, "Ever since I left the President, I've been very anxious about all the changes in my life, and I'm constantly worried that I'm doing something wrong… and I don't even realize it. Although everyone has been very tolerant of me, I still feel that I shouldn't cause you any more trouble."

He looked at the long shadows on the street. Two men, one umbrella. No shadow of Dimple.

"Whenever I get scared, I can't help but want to hide under the umbrella. Maybe it's those emotions that unknowingly hold a lot of energy." Serizawa bowed his head, "I'm sorry, Reigen-san. I haven't made any progress at all. Yesterday, I almost lost control of myself in the shop. It's all thanks to you…"

"Oh, yeah. I was shocked too."

"I'm really, really sorry!"

"Serizawa, we all have our moments." Reigen turned his head and said, "Remember? You protected me from Suzuki. No matter how scared you were, you worked hard to get back into society. And you decided to go to night school on your own, right? Don't forget to include these things when you judge yourself."

"… Yes."

"If you still feel guilty, today's takoyaki is on you."

Serizawa straightened up, "Of course. No problem!"

"It would be a shame not to use such a powerful force." Dimple said, laying his entire spirit body on the transparent umbrella surface, "Hey Serizawa, are you interested in starting a cult with me? This time, we'll call it Bearded Afro."

"… Serizawa, vanish him."

"Yes?"

"I'm just kidding, just kidding!" Dimple quickly clarified, coughing several times, "But seriously, it's all because Serizawa happened to bring an umbrella with him, things turned out pretty well today, isn't that right?"

"Is that so?" Serizawa gripped the umbrella a little tighter, "I'm glad I could help."

"Since you have something to rely on, just lean on it whenever you need. There's no point in making yourself suffer." Reigen put a hand on his shoulder, "Serizawa, you've done a good job. Thanks for your hard work."

"Thank you, Reigen-san." Serizawa smiled, slightly embarrassed.

After thinking for a moment, he added:

"If possible, I hope Reigen-san can rely on us a little more, too."

Dimple frowned, "Huh? Don't you have enough work to do?"

"Let's go, let's go. Let's have dinner before going back. Serizawa, is ramen okay?"

"Yes, sir!"

[squuote]

yeah but genuinely piranesi inspires such a feeling of longing and solemnity in me... the nostalgia for home and the acceptance of growing older. can i get your thoughts on it!!

OH GOD I don’t even really know where to begin, I’ve been trying to put my words together all night!! I feel like there’s so much I want to say but I don’t know where to start.

I guess I will start with how I felt just after reading it, which was just like such an indescribable feeling of hopefulness for the future. I love stories like this that focus on real aspects of life in a fantasy perspective, especially with the way this story handles the situation of trauma and recovery (at least this is the conclusion I ended up with). And the entire time I felt so involved with the story and the way it is read as if piranesi is writing to us directly through the whole thing, which in a way he was or was writing in hopes of someone reading it which idk I just adore this, I think it just is such a fun way to involve the audience. And I like that we can directly see his growth through the story, from childlike wonder to his better understanding and the great reveal at the end. I do agree with your sentiment of growing older cause this does reflect that aspect in such a large way.

Piranesi as a character and who he becomes at the end i just can’t help but cling to. There’s so much I want to say about his entire character, who he was and who he became but GAHH I DONT HAVE THE WORDS. Please just know that I love him dearly and I am completely attached to his character. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since I started reading (though to be fair this is only day 3 haha). Either way, I love him so fucking much jfc I am clinging to him with my entire life!!!!!!!!

I think most importantly I love the message of the book. I love the setting and the way it utilizes this as a way to push its message, or at least the message I got from it in the end. That trauma can and will change us against our will and despite becoming entirely new people, we still must care for our self as if we are caring for the people we once were. And even in the situation where trauma is not a factor, we still do change as people from who we once were when we are younger. I feel like I am not wording that good at all haha but I tear up thinking about it a bit. You cannot ever go back to being the person you once were and that’s okay. It just means you should strive to care for your current self because that person you once were is still apart of you and you should strive to care for them and yourself in turn. (I also find it so weird and ironic that I was just discussing this topic with a friend sometime last week, where I described how detached I feel from my younger self to the point where she is apart of me but I am not her and that I feel like because I’m the one that lived in the end, I will take care of the body she left me and the people she left behind in her shape. So when I read that part about Piranesi taking care of Matthew, I had to actually take my break at work just to sit and dwell on that. IT SCARED ME A BIT AT HOW ACCURATE IT WAS TO HOW I FEEL BUT GOD DO I ADORE THIS BOOK FOR IT. its just odd that i had been meaning to read this book for a few months now but i only just chose this week to read it. funny how it all works in the end)

I feel as though I’ve gone way off topic lolol but yes!!! I ADORE this book in its entirety!! I love the world building and just everything about it makes my head spin with glee!!! I definitely want to do a reread sometime soon once I get the book (I typically listen to audiobooks at work!) because there’s so many parts I loved that I’d want to further dive into. I JUST. THIS BOOK. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. There’s very much more I want to say but this is as much as I could get out of me atm!!!

[petrichoraline]

SLEEPOVER SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

what are your top 5 japanese BLs?

tell me about a fond memory or your comfort food (or both!!!!!)

[I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[LOVE YOU TOO MY SWEETESTTTTT💗💞💕💖💓💗]

these are suchh good questions omg okay

i suck at ranking things and don't enjoy it one bit because i don't do faves, im too fluid in my tastes and can't ever pick criteria but! let's try in no particular order

1. Kieta Hatsukoi

i think im in the habit of dropping things from my fave lists as time goes by and especially if they're well beloved by other people like "okay then I'll focus on this less talked about thing, my bby seems to be getting enough attention"; how and why I work that way im not sure but I do and by that logic kieta hatsukoi should not be on my list but it's an honorary member - I've watched it twice (with maybe a bit of skipping which is still a lot cause I don't really do rewatches) and I've read most of the manga. it's just so..easy to like, for a lack of a better phrase. it's inoffensive and suited to be a comfort piece of media in whichever form you decide to enjoy it (and it'd make an amazing anime, i guarantee people would be all over it)

the live adaptation also takes the events of the manga and mixes them around big time but it still makes sense and it keeps you a bit more on your toes when consuming the other version, whether you watch the show or read the manga first

it's also a show I've recommended passionately and I successfully made my then new acquaintance watch which I'm a bit smug about lmao

sweet characters, supportive friends, funny, light and warm 💖

2. The End of the World With You

*indescribable screeches*

this showwww, i dont know if i can call it a fave since i havent once come back to it, i dont feel the need to go watch compilations of my guys or anything and i acknowledge there were some elements i found a bit lacking but! it's amazing. idc, this show gave me proper complex relationship where i still end up rooting for a couple of people who were toxic towards each other and did nootttt know how to handle a relationship; the dynamic is compelling, the premise is interesting enough, there are heavy scenes and plot points but it is embedded with hope

it also helped me bond a bit with a mutual i like <3

i just am thankful for it existing out there in the world, it served fucked up relationship (that i root for wholeheartedly), sexy times, found family, amazing acting and it didnt have most of the chaos an apocalyptic piece would usually be dealing with

3. BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen

listen. we're getting some pretty good jbls this year but i said this will be jbl of the year and i still think it's a solid nominee.

the romance is tooth-achingly sweet. the leads are adorable. the acting is perfect and manages to deliver the comedy very well. it's cute, it's fun, it knows exactly what it wants to achieve and works with its timeframe to do it. the side characters do not affect the plot negatively, the hurdles the couple needs to overcome do not feel excessive. if you happen to yell at them for being silly, it's lovingly. also we got more chemistry than i expected! and it was really good. it also set up an example for ''japanese actors working on bls'' (found the things like shooting promos and the portrayed bts process really fun) so now watching 25 ji Ajisaka de i can't help but think of this show

4. Utsukushii Kare

my relationship with this show suffers from the "enough people love it" thing as well, i think i rewatched it or skipped through the first season? and i enjoyed the second one as well but honestly it feels not only as if enough people love it but that they love it and get it way better than i do. i didnt watch the movie out of fear of having to say bye to my guys but i also feel more disconnected from it now. im sure its still a gem of a movie and im so so happy we got two seasons and a movie, the show and the cast deserve it!!

there is just so much beauty in their yearning for each other and the misunderstandings, the downright stupid decisions they make..they all just work in making this a neat story of love that blooms from something different, from worship and the desire to be seen and to be held and to be possesed. they're wild, i love them

5. Kinou Nani Tabeta?

this show i watched years before i got into bl and i didn't even know it was a bl when i started it lol, i was like "ohhh, theyre a couple? cool"

i rewatched the first season, watched the special and the movie, started the second season and kinda got stuck there, again with hte "i dont want to let them go"..and now ive lost momentum and ive got basically a whole season ahead (i started it when it was airing 😭)

these two love each other so much and support each other in every way that matters, my heart melts at every sweet gesture and even though the show portrays some real struggles they have to deal with, its still a very funny and light show. the best word to describe it would be "charming" - you see this couple's everyday life, you see how they came to be and what challenges they face, how they overcome them and you're left with no doubt in your mind they will grow old together, well loved and taken care of

now I wanted ti turn this into a top 10 but I felt like I was being disingenuous cause I can't overcome my need to talk about underrated shows rather than pick my faves..I can't make a faves list without turning it into a diverse recommendation list so I'll just. stop here.

favourite food.. faves again.. hahah

a fond memory involving food.. preparing food the whole day before my birthday (maybe my seventeenth?) - sushi, spring rolls, i think I made dessert too? and then having picnic with my friends who were all in awe and praising me. I felt very appreciated and truly celebrated and it was a fun party 💖

[littlegayassbitch]

thinking about the bitb soundtrack

that shit is absolutely amazing, I'm gonna rant for so long about this shit, here's literally every song from it described in great hyper-fixated detail, it gets pretty sad at the end, also spoilers for blood in the bayou!

If you want to listen along with my deranged ramblings about this soundtrack, here is a link.

BEWARE!!! I AM MENTALLY ILL!!! READ ON IF YOU DARE!!

The heartbeat motif for most, if not all of the songs is absolutely gorgeous, I adore it so much, the notes hit your brain in all the right places to make you feel uneasy, and the SoundFont?????? that shit is very much Blood in the motherfuckin Bayou!

The intro and outro are absolute masterpieces and I will listen to them for hours on end like I hear that shit and. AUGHAUAGAHUGA I go rabid

horrors in the bayou??? thats 19 minutes of pure absolute cool!!!! how do you make it like that!??!? It's awesome, it's noises, it's cool, it's slimy, it's slippery! it's just awesome I love it.

wandering around galloway is such an awesome one too, it just... AUGH they really are, they do that, its so surreal!! and the way the notes kinda jumpscare you if you aren't paying attention is so fun

dropping like ravens, bro, I swear to god, I can hear a plop noise in the background, that shit is so fucking cool, it fits so well, it sounds like the noises they would make as they fell, the drum sounds like things hitting metal, and the goddamn music kicking in halfway through is so fUCKING COOL MAN

sludgified... what do I even say???? the buildup is so worth it for this song!!! it's so fitting, and you can tell when each scene is, it's awesome and cool and awesome (but Rat did not deserve this fate, mans was too silly to go that soon...)

touching the forcefield is where the heartbeat motif really comes into play, you can hear that shit all the way through, and I am loving every second of it, I am going absolutely apeshit over this soundtrack, its so undeniably perfect dude

there are people in the swamp. YES, THERE ARE!!! YOU CAN HEAR THE PHASES OF REALIZATION THAT THERE ARE IN FACT FUCKIN PEOPLE IN THERE AND THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE. IT'S SO STRESSFUL IN A GOOD WAY

OUTRO, IM TALKING ABOUT THIS ONE AGAIN, I LOVE IT SO MUCH, 18892954358324/10 ITS SO PERFECT I ADORE IT SO MUCH THE BEAT AND SOUNDS MAKE MY BRAIN COGS STOP RUSTING

intrusive thought, wooooAAAAAoooo. << it's doing that, it's so ADHD-friendly, I could literally listen to this forever. then it hits you with the METAL SOUNDIN SHIT AND ITS 100000000 TIMES MORE AWESOME

the melted man, it gets its point across so insanely well, the little tink! noises it has like water droplets are so pretty, but like, unsettling, then the beeps of a heart monitor start-up and I justafhjkdshjf AND THEN THE ENDING BIT???? MY HEART RATE GOES UP SO MUCH, STRESS LEVEL IS THROUGH THE ROOF, I LOVE IT

returning to the forcefield is awesome because the heartbeat motif!!!!!!!!!!!!! is back and louder than fuckin EVER. It's so eerie and indescribable, but you have all the words to use, it's so fun.

the funeral, melancholy, Rolans parents (?) are fucking DEAD, It's solemn, it's sad, its a funeral, the piano gets this point across perfectly, and it's so different from most of the other songs that you can tell this scene is a different tone entirely.

secrets of the will, so mysterious, and alluring... what's going on with the will?? What's the answer??? where should Rolan go? what should he do???

now here are some more of my favourites, in a big batch o three

followed, its so... it's such a 'leading up to big important thing' song and its so necessary for this it needs to be eerie and 'uh oh' esque and just AAARGGGHHHHHH

approached. WOOOAH its speeding up!! its getting faster!! we're about to see some action!! Woo! yeah! get approached by your cousin! get stressed! go do that shit!

Hunted. HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THIS SONG AWESOME, all the buildup, and this does not disappoint! like, it induces so much anxiety in me that I listen to it if I'm tired to wake myself up, its such a good running song, and its such an awesome thing to listen to while writing horror, infinity/10 I love hunted. so so so so so so so so much

THE POST METAMORPHOSIS INTRO!! OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GOD!!! YOU CAN HEAR THE OG INTRO UNDER IT, ITS SO FUNKY!! SO SILLY!!! THIS SHIT IS AMAZING I LOVE IT SO MUCH

coming home. YeahhhhhHH!HH!H!HHhhHHHH its so much less energetic than the song before it, you can hear how upsetting this scene will be, the piano sounds hopeful, and resigned at the same time. beautiful.

limited time. there is a very great sense of urgency in this one, with the ticking clock in the background, and the strings being played in the back, I'm writing this part as fast as I can because I feel like I'm on a time limit bro it works SO GODDAMN WELL.

the abyss stares back. Water... noises in my ea r s... the droning noises.... the everything..... it makes me feel so trapped, so claustrophobic, my skin has goosebumps listening to it....

cocooned. THERE IS SO MUCH FEAR IN HERE, I CAN BARELY HEAR MY OWN FEAR. THIS SHIT MAKES MY NECK TWITCH /POS I LOVE THE PLUCKING STRING SOUNDS, AND THE WAY ITS SO UNORGANIZED AND YET SO STRUCTURED.... PERFECTION

forgotten promise, this is such a normal song, for the first 10 seconds, then it gets into this odd sort of off-beat-ish faster melody, and I'm here for it, it gets more and more unsettling, you don't know the difference until it's too late. (rip Kian Stone)

a melody better left unknown, more like... a melody everyone needs to hear right now... it's amazingly unsettling, the perfect thing for this scene, it embodies the spirit of what this scene means for the rest of the campaign.

entomophobia. GOD, HOLY SHIT, THIS IS SUCH AN UPBEAT ONE COMPARED TO THE REST. reminds me of the can-can at times, but in like a great way, sounds reminiscent of clown music in the beginning. AND WHEN IT GETS TO THE MIDDLE, WHOO BOY I AM HAVING A FIELD DAY WITH THIS. amazing song, love it, love everything abt it.

heartbeat in the swamp is like the forcefield, but much more... foreboding. You can tell this is a very important point, the droning sounds are much more common in here, and there's more than one at a time. heartbeat motif my absolute beloved... <3

metamorphosis. this song... THIS SONG IS RIGHT HERE. it is spot on for this reveal, the whole thing is so nice to listen to, the clicking-Esque noises, the bug-like rhythm for those clicks, beautiful, and when you get halfway in.... it gets so much more dramatic, and it is deserved for this!!!! it is so dramatic and it fits!!!!!!! love it for this, you go, metamorphosis!!!!

bitb post metamorphosis outro... I am... barely containing myself right now, this song..... AUGH..... listening isn't enough anymore I need to kiss the song. (sorry everyone I may have gotten a bit too much there, I do feel that way, it's a very kissable song.)

The Face in the Bog. oooooohhhhhg its so adgfhjdsghjfhgd the low notes are so ominous.......... love it,..,.. so much.,,,,,, dying currently.,,,

Something Bugging You. YOU ARE RIGHT, ITS THE FACT THAT I AM UNABLE TO DESCRIBE THIS SONG THAT I SO DESPERATELY WANT TO, IT'S SO. PRETTY, LIKE WIND CHIMES, BUT TOO ORGANIZED TO BE THEM, IMAGINE IF SOMEONE WAS MOVING YOUR WIND CHIMES PRETENDING TO BE THE WIND. IT'S LIKE THAT.

Race to the Heart of the Hive. OH MY LORD, THIS IS LIKE, MARIO KART BUT IF EVERY COM PLAYER WAS A GODDAMN BUG AND IF YOU DON'T WIN YOU GET TURNED INTO GOO, AND THE WORLD ENDS, BECAUSE IT IS THE ELECTRONIC BITS??? MARVELOUS, STUNNING, EFFERVESCENT, LOVELY. I AM SO READY TO RUN A MILE RIGHT NOW

Run Away. Now, there is no reason for this to have gone this hard, the start is slow, and its like 'Oh okay, slower song.' and then a bit later. NOPE, ELECTRIC GUITAR BOSS FIGHT MUSIC, the other fight-ish songs were 'fight a bug monster' but this one... this one is a 'Holy shit, your friend is a bug monster, and he's attacking you, and you can't save him, you have to fight against the face of a friend, one who you've just met up with again, one you've just gotten back. You need to kill him.' kinda deal. very much up there in the top 5.

A Moment of Respite. calm before the storm, come chill for 2 minutes and 12 seconds, you need it, you get this time to relax, but be ready to jump right back in.

You will be Replaced. Words can't describe how I feel (jk, they can, and ill spend a while talking about this.) it's like every stressful song in one, it's like entomophobia, but more is at risk, everything is at risk, you need to hurry, you need to finish this. I 100% love this one.

The Queen. It's so... calm at first, like she's a good thing, she's helping, she's nice, even! Let yourself become one with her, she'll take care of the hard parts! but then, halfway mark, she's let down her facade, face the queen, or die. Knowing the odds, you will be struggling to not meet the second fate. she knows you know how unlikely you are to win, and laughs in your face as you fumble with weapons that have no effect, as you hallucinate things in her presence, as you try to bargain with the false face of a long-dead loved one. It's such a regal-sounding piece, and rightfully so, this is the QUEEN.

nwonK syawlA ev'I ydoleM A. The reverse of a melody better left unknown, but somehow the one that fills me with more dread than its predecessor. Reverse audio has always made me uncomfortable, and mix it with the BITB vibe and you have a recipe for paranoia and fear. in a good way!

Rolan's Ultimatum. A reprise of limited time, you can hear the decisions that are having to be made, it's a hard one, sacrifice yourself, and be an unsung hero, or leave, and live a peaceful life, knowing that you have left behind your two best friends, now one, to die. He needs to think fast, or else it will be too late, and he'll have lost both his friends, and his humanity.

You've Changed. Ugh!! such a bittersweet ending!!! We know that Rand is probably bleeding out in the bayou, hallucinating about going home with his now-alive totally human sister. The song is too distorted to offer anything other than death. The end had the same plucking of guitar strings as the bug songs, so he is not alright. I am so sad that they all had to die, they all had lives ahead of them, great ones. Except for Rand... he died a nobody, and he will not be remembered for anything other than his corpse, and maybe a passport. Nothing more, nothing less. He was nobody. And will never be somebody.

BONUS!!

Smoke with the Devil. this song, which played at the end of ep 4, is so great, it's such a sadness-ridden song, Grizzly did so well with this part! His singing is so nice, and if someone shared this song with me and didn't tell me it was from a Call of Cthulu campaign and is sung by a character who tried to seduce his friend's mom and dad and then promptly exploded I would not notice.

and that ends my completely deranged review of the BITB soundtrack, you can find it on Spotify now! You can go on the Patreon and download it from there! If you want to hear more about blood in the bayou from me, ask me, please please please please please I am insane about these 33-year-olds from the '80s I want to talk about them so badly.

I love Blood in the Bayou so fucking much.

[wcvensouls]

" you must forgive me, " for he found it hard to establish the past from the present in the features carried on by dan heng, he who held such uncanny resemblance to someone jing yuan himself had to witness the downfall of. " for while i do understand that you are dan heng, the remanents of your past --- your ancestor --- stir up emotions within me i find it hard to establish. "

regret, mostly, flooded his bones at the sight of dan heng's regular features. not due to his mundane self resembling that of dan feng the most, but due to knowing that behind that exterior was the lingering presence of someone jing yuan had once seen as a dear friend. it brought an uneasy feeling around, blending in with the lingering regret he carried with him despite all this time.

" i cannot expect you to understand , nor i will encourage you to. " for he had simply summoned dan heng to a private audience in order to clear the air of its uncertainties. " however , i wish to share the reason for my ... well , approach to it all , and while the memories of the past might have come flooding to you i ... i only want to say that despite the outcome , the price that had to be paid for the treason , i respected and admired dan feng for what he was and the strength he had. he was a dear friend of mine, dan heng. "

returning to the luofu was strange, even though this place had once been his homeland. although dan feng had gone through the cycle of rebirth and was no longer in this world, dan heng still bore the punishment that was given to his predecessor, as well as the burden of the consequences of his actions, in more ways than one. he should have been cleansed from the sins commited by the previous high elder upon being reborn... yet he understood that things were not quite as simple. he could tell the general that he was not dan feng as many times as he wished, yet there was a part of him that simply understood. perhaps there was also still a part of dan feng lingering inside of him somewhere, one that made him feel a sense of familiarity upon looking at jing yuan's face and made him see a person that should be a stranger as someone he unexplicably cared about.

still, dan heng reminded himself that he was no longer the same person & that the person the general missed was not himself, but an echo of the past that he happened to bear great ressemblance to. when being summoned by jing yuan for a private audience, he had already imagined what would be discussed — and dan heng felt a sense of uneasiness take over him even before arriving here. if he was not dan feng in any way, then why did he still feel a certain sadness whenever he was around the other, seeing the way that he would look at the face he shared with the high elders of the vidyadhara? sometimes, it was as if he was missing an old friend, even though such memories did not truly belong to him.

dan heng had kept his head down for a moment or two as he listened to his words, before he dared to look up and meet the other's gaze, an indescribable look on his features. " general... " he spoke in a quiet, yet serious tone — with a hint of a softness that perhaps was a bit unexpected to even dan heng himself. " you need not explain yourself to me. " he paused for a moment before continuing. " i understand that dan feng's presence, as well as his sin, cannot be so easily erased through rebirth. and i can understand that my own presence here makes things rather... complicated. " whether he was still around or not, there were still people on this place that would remember him — and, in this moment, dan heng realized that, perhaps, jing yuan was the only one that could still remember the good in him.

@avaere : unprompted asks .

[animentality]

You know the composer Frédéric Chopin? In one of twenty-two letters to his childhood friend Tytus Woyciechowski, he wrote, “You don’t like being kissed. Please allow me to do so today. You have to pay for the dirty dream I had about you last night.”

And yet, historians insisted that Tytus was a "bosom friend." History hates queer lovers. They erase us from their narratives and blame our love on delusions and sickness.

But books like yours give me hope. Your book is fearlessly LGBTQ+, unashamed, proud. This kind of pride, this kind of openness about who we choose to love (or don't love)? They'll never, ever, ever be able to erase that. Ever.

Aw ;-;

That's a beautiful quote. "and they were roommates."

Ahahaahhhh. They were roommates...;-;

Thank you for sending this ask. Well written. Made me emotional.

I really...I really just...

I wanted to write a queer novel that was raw and ugly and edgy. Like listen I love wholesome queer romances as much as anyone here, but I wanted to write queer romances that were brutal.

Where the mc is indescribably fucked up beyond belief?

Where his relationships are toxic and wrong and bad, but they were beautiful too. Broken and beautiful.

Where they bite more than they kiss, and hurt more than they heal, opening up old wounds and adding new ones.

Where he was a bad person, and so was his love, and yet, that same love, could contradictorily also be the only good thing in his life too.

Where he's a murderer and an assassin and his morality is fucked beyond belief, but he has values, he cherishes the lives of those like him, who have chosen the path of an assassin and a demon summoner, and it's short sighted, and selfish, and self serving, but he never really had the choice to begin with.

A tragedy and a romance in continuous motion, a never ending cycle.

And the irony is...well. No spoilers but...that continuous motion...

It always finds its way back around. Let's say that.

Anyway. Thanks for the ask.

7 deadly habits has my entire heart, soul, and bussy thrust into it.

I would literally make it free all the time if Amazon would let me.

And I'm still sorry about having to use Amazon, bc it's unfortunately the only site where you can self publish a novel and NOT have to pay some fucking subscription fee or have to pay back for distribution rights and shit.

But it lets me get this story out there, and so, I must continue. I have to try.

I think this story matters, even if it's just to me. Or just to one or two other deranged weirdos like myself.

I wanna thank every single person who downloaded it or bought it. They don't know how much I cherish and value every single one of them, and they should.

Rey is for them. Rey is for me, but he's also for anyone who knows how badly a person can fuck up every good relationship they've ever had. he's also for the girlies and the queers and the perpetually online freaks.

For the people <3

[shiningdesignersreflections]

Chapter 4: Bloodied Golden Key

Narrated by Celina.

Narrator: Waking up, I find myself standing at the end of the ghostly hallway... with that golden key in my hand.

Narrator: Lit up by the candle in my hand, the heavy wooden door is laden with dust and scars everywhere, reminiscent of a door to hell.

Narrator: When did I leave the magnificent bedroom and walk all the way here through that seemingly never-ending hallway? Was it when I was sleeping?

Narrator: Everything wonderful about the dream, however, is long gone, leaving my heart scarred with the crimson flames. Standing before the door, I can feel chills nibbling away at my skin.

Narrator: I have no clue how I got the key... and whose blood is it that I'm seeing on it? The baron's gentle yet haunting warning surfaces in my mind, sending shivers down my spine.

Narrator: This is the one room among the gazillion ones in the castle that I should never pay a visit to. I shouldn't be curious about it, nor should I try to stick my nose into the baron's secrets.

Narrator: I want to turn around and leave... so I can go to my fiancé, the only person I can turn to in this castle.

Narrator: My hand, however, escapes my control as it inserts the key into the door's keyhole.

Narrator: No, I don't want to open this door! I want to be back in the beautiful hall where I will be a happy bride.

Narrator: I have the distinct feeling that there is something indescribably abhorrent behind this door, although I have no clue what makes me believe so.

Narrator: I also believe that it will shatter my promising future as the baron's wife... yet my hand just wouldn't listen to me.

Narrator: Then, with a click, the door is unlocked.

Narrator: Surprisingly, however, I am not engulfed by the flames of hell or a roaring monster. Behind the door is nothing but a quiet room of old.

Narrator: The gloomy moonlight seeps into the room through its tattered window lattice, the patches of spiderwebs and the floating dust reminiscent of filthy half-melting snow.

Narrator: But how does such a beautiful castle have a room like this? This room seems almost as if it's purposefully forgotten.

Narrator: Everything in here is covered in dark velvet cloth. In the dead silence, I can hear the tiny squeaks of rats coming from unseen corners.

Narrator: Taking a few steps back, I accidentally step on a velvet cloth. Like a cascade, it falls smoothly off the object it was covering.

Narrator: Then a silver light - so impossibly dazzling that it almost blinds my eyes - pierces the dark.

Narrator: It's a mirror.

Choose either "Look into the mirror" or "Don't look into the mirror."

If "look," ...

You: You should have a good look in the mirror.

Narrator: No, I'm not going to.

If "don't," ...

You: Don't look into the mirror. What's in it is a little terrifying.

Narrator: That's exactly what I'm telling myself, but the mirror seems to be summoning me.

--

Narrator: I'm shivering all over... but my eyes decide on their own to look straight into the mirror.

Narrator: There is nothing but pitch-blackness in the reflection... and a pale, scrawny girl whose body wouldn't stop shaking.

Narrator: What was I expecting to see in the mirror, anyway? It's nothing but a regular mirror, with a thin layer of dust sitting on it from years of sitting idle.

Narrator: Yet the seemingly boundless pitch-blackness in the mirror has me spellbound.

Narrator: I'm stripped naked on the mirror's ever-so-smooth surface. The light from the silver candle in my hand distorts into a shapeless mass before burning to an end.

Narrator: The blood in my veins boils as my skin tenses and shivers in the chilling air. My ears are bombarded by deafening noises.

Narrator: In a hysterical uproar, the townspeople let out crazed yells as they secure the witch to a rack.

Narrator: The fire shrieks frighteningly as it burns...

Narrator: Whose memory is this? Didn't I forget every last bit of it?!

Narrator: The shining mirror is not unlike the opening of a big wound... inside which lies a quiet devil that's now trying to claw its way through the sealed opening.

Baron: My cute little lamb, you've made one dire mistake.

Narrator: My fiancé speaks from behind me, having not made a single bit of noise coming into the room. In my trembling hands, hot wax from the candle drips onto my skin, but I dare not make a sound.

Narrator: How strange, though... the baron is nowhere to be seen in the mirror, which is now showing me standing all alone in it.

Baron: I've warned you... that there is an abhorrent monster in this room.

Narrator: His chuckle is as cold yet sweet as ever, resounding elegantly through the eerily quiet air of the room.

Narrator: Walking slowly yet surely toward me, he exudes the distinct air of a serpent. Thank God, though, that he doesn't sound like he's angry.

Narrator: Snapping back to reality, I try to explain to him that I just wasn't being myself back there.

Narrator: I want to turn around, away from the ominous darkness before me, and into my fiancé's cold arms.

Narrator: It's too late.

Narrator: Before I can do so, though, I catch an unmistakable glimpse of the terrifying creature from the corner of my eye.

Narrator: The claws of the night tear their way through the quiet lake water as darkness swirls in the mirror. Then, through the broken pieces that are the lake's ripple, the witch emerges.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

[slytherinshua]

THE BOYZ‼️‼️ I'M A CASUAL DEOBI, BUT I LOVE THE BOYZ i haven't listened to a lot of their songs yet, but I like watch it and I love nectar 🥹 and BACK IN THE GAME SON 🔥🔥🔥 확실한 CHANGER 🔥 I'M A I'M A I'M A MAVERICK 🗣️🗣️ I'M A I'M A I'M A MAVERICK 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Rn my bias is probably eric he's such a silly guy 🤏 and also sunwoo he is just iconic actually

Are you working on your hanbin angst is it going to rip into my soul

I don't have much planned for today, I think I'll get some work done. I have this world history assignment that I have to research for, and school restarts on 15th august for me so hahahaha

other than that I might try to cook something nice today I kind of feel like it

ALSO ZANNA DO YKU HAVE ANY SHOW/MOVIE RECS I AM LOWKEY DESPERATE 😔 idk anything fun, or gut wrenchingly sad I don't mind

-🪿

OH THE TASTE???? HELLO 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 sometime soon i'm gonna make a the boyz guide presentation and when i do you should look at it and stan them fully 🦅🦅🦅 i'm in a debilitating the boyz era rn like its BADDD

ERIC NOOOOOOOOO ERIC IM SO FUCKING EMO HES S OSKJFDHWEUY&(@*T#^RU HES SO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SUNWOO??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SUNWOO IS SO ICONIC 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SUNWOO AND ERIC ARE SO ICONIC TOGETHER AS WELL THE HONEYZ IM SDKFJHEF@*YR#GUVEH IM SO SAD???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 okay im so sorry im just so emo for EVERY SINGLE MEMBER LEAVE ME 😞😞😞

i fear i am...... and i think it will rip into your soul...... i'm so very sorry......

omg good luck 😞😞 that sounds awful but i hope you'll slay 😞😞 my school doesn't start until sept i think but i have a whole course that i haven't even touched that i'm supposed to finish somehow... before school starts... uhhh..... so we'll see chat whether i fail or slay (i'm thinking i fail) COOKING OMG 🥹🥹🥹 i hope whatever you make turns out delicious!!!!!

HMMMMMM okay well mostly kdramas ig i have some recs off the top of my head...

doom at your service (romance, the best enemies to lovers ever, so heartbreakingly beautiful and perfect oh my god)

weak hero class 1 (kinda dark, high school setting, the best most jaw dropping acting from park jihoon, you'll be hooked every single second of every single ep it's impossible to not love this show)

move to heaven (ONLY IF YOU WANT TO FUCKING CRY but def one of my favourite shows ever its beautiful in such an indescribable way)

extraordinary attorney woo (if you want the most green flag kdrama in all of existence that is both super interesting and the romance is super cute you will come out of it ready to fight to the death for like at least 3 characters)

alchemy of souls (super long but the best kdrama in the entire world it has everything you could ever want i cannot say enough good things abt it but to put it into perspective i showed it into my mom and its her favourite show of all time she keeps talking about it to every single one of my family members and her friends like the aos agenda is REAL)

so yeah that's that for kdramas.... as for movies tbh i don't watch many :( but anything studio ghibli !!!! honestly i rarely watch stuff nowadays unless its kpop cause i haven't even been feeling like kdramas lately idk why :(( so i just watch wishies behinds and stuff instead skdjskd

[jeanfrancoisgeschwind]

Jeff Geschwind  You  Can  Win  Your  Battle  With  Cancer

Jeff Geschwind Expert tips provider. Your entire life is going to change, both physically and emotionally, when you have cancer and even treatable cancer can take its toll on you and make you imagine the worst. When you need tools and resources to help you beat this sickness, read these expert tips on how to handle cancer.

Vitamin C is a natural enemy to cancer. Vitamin C tricks tumors into thinking they are getting sugar, which cancer cells feed on. When cancer uses vitamin C as an energy source, The vitamin begins to destroy cancer cells, thus slowing down their multiplication. In turn, the growth of tumors can be slowed down.

Jeff Geschwind Most excellent service provider. To reduce your risk for various types of cancers, not smoking or using tobacco in any way is one of the best and easiest methods. Smoking has been linked not only to lunch cancer but also to lung, bladder, cervix and kidney cancer. Don't take the risk, and quit now, or don't start!

It is important to learn as much about cancer as possible when you are diagnosed with it. There are things that can be done to make the symptoms more manageable at times but you need to take the prerogative to learn what they are and incorporate them into your life.

Do not isolate yourself from friends and family if you are diagnosed with cancer. Sometimes, people will become depressed and close up if they find out they have cancer. The emotional support from others will give you strength and a renewed energy to fight. You may be able to get useful advice from others who have experienced cancer as well.

If you are taking care of someone with cancer, it is important to address your own feelings and fears. By working through your own needs, you will be a better support to the person you love, and you will be able to listen to them more effectively. If you need to, seek out another person who can be your sounding board when things get difficult.

If you have figured out your family's medical history as it pertains to cancer, you should talk to the professionals about what you can do going forward. Cancer specialists will know exactly what steps you can take to make sure that the disease is caught in time so that you can lead a normal, healthy life.

Jeff Geschwind Qualified tips provider. Simple moral support can help someone with cancer is indescribable ways. Something like a simple "I love you" said to someone can have a lasting positive effect that helps people to heal and grow. Emotions play a big role in the fight against cancer, and reminding someone of your love for them is good for everyone involved.

While laughter may not be able to cure cancer, it can certainly help a little. People call laughter the best medicine for a good reason. Cancer is a very serious illness, but don't allow an overly-serious ambiance to envelop you permanently. This may inhibit some of the humor and laughter that would normally be spontaneous. Appreciating the humor in life will help you to feel a little better both physically a mentally.

If you do something as simple as switching from whole or 2% milk to low-fat options like 1% or skim milk, you can prevent cancer, because simply eating healthier is one of your best lines of defense. Cutting the fat and cholesterol from your diet here means that you're going to live an all-around healthier and hopefully cancer-free life.

Cancer doesn't have to take root in your brain in order to play tricks on your mind, so always remember to keep fantasy and reality separated from one another. You will begin to feel as if you're sleepwalking and dreaming while you're awake during your bout with chemo. Keep your mind focused and simply ignore the "weirdness."�

Try limiting fat in your diet. By decreasing the amount of fat, you will lower your cancer risk. Avoid frying, especially deep frying. There are alternatives to frying such as baking, roasting, broiling, and steaming. Try to buy the low or non fat versions of your favorite foods, like milk and yogurt.

You might not typically have a fighting spirit, but if you have cancer you are going to need to find one quickly. If you do not realize what you're fighting for and cannot develop that all-important spirit, use the anger you're feeling to transform into motivation. Even Gandhi was able to lash out.

Jeff Geschwind Top service provider. You're going to be running back and forth to the bathroom a lot as you fight with your cancer, so move into any bedroom that's closest to a bathroom. Being in close proximity to a bathroom will help to prevent accidents, and you also have quick and direct access to the shower when you need to freshen up.

For women to prevent against contracting certain types of cancer, it is important to avoid taking any type of menopausal hormonal treatments or therapy for extended periods. If you do need these types of hormone treatments, make sure you're only receiving what you need. Do not make these hormones a way of life for you.

Don't keep going to a doctor who does not communicate with you. You will always want to ask questions as they arise. Your concerns should be addressed immediately.

Be sure that you're reviewing doctors and treatment options by yourself and/or with the help of your family instead of taking what the medical professionals say as gospel. Even doctors have different beliefs and ideologies and may put more credence in a treatment option that may not necessarily sound good to you.

Many women will put off getting a mammogram because they are afraid of the results. It is scary thinking that you may be diagnosed with cancer but it is far more scary to not have the screening done. The earlier you catch it the better your chances of beating it!

Jeff Geschwind Proficient tips provider. Handling your cancer needs to be your number-one priority, and there is absolutely no shame in seeking assistance for this. Whether you find it through a loved one or through an article like this, full of tips and tactics, the more help you can get, the more hope you have of getting rid of the disease.

[finn-wolfhard]

nah guys can you tell this was rushed? I'm so bad at writing smuts lmfaooooooo enjoy regardless, maybe have a laugh. Also, whoops, I thought someone had requested this but I was wrong so sorry no one actually asked for this lmao

"You don't look so punk rock now, Eds"

Eddie has a booboo and fucks you because he's a horny rat. you help with said booboo after you buss it open for him <3

pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem! reader (female anatomy - doesn't mention anything about race, weight, eye colour, etc, just vagene)

Warnings : ERRRMMM she busses it OPEN - its smut. Idek what is in there I forgot but its kinda kinky- O handcuffs I defo wrote about handcuffs

Words - 1,169 (lol why is this reoccurring?)

Lying in Eddie’s bed, you waited for him to return from whatever deal he was making that day. You had been seeing Eddie for around 9 months. You weren’t really into basketball or soccer games, you weren’t into popularity or lack thereof. You simply minded your own business, and this is what Eddie loved about you and, unsurprisingly, led him to ask you out in the first place. You’d sit in on his D&D games, watch him play with his band, and listen to music with him. He’d sit in the library with you when you were studying, watch your favourite movies with you, and fuck your brains out every second day. You appeared innocent on the outside, but boy did that Munson boy corrupt you. 

Scanning his room, looking at his posters, you heard the door open. 

“y/n, I’m back” Eddie says as he walks in, blood smeared across his cheek.

“Eddie?,” you asked, frightened, “what happened?” The blood was dry but you could see a glistening cut on his forehead. 

“ah, nothing, some bastard tried to get a better deal than I was giving him” he points to the cut on his head, as if it wasn’t glaringly obvious. 

“fuck, punch to the head?” You got up out the bed and made your way to the bathroom. 

“-punch to the head, yeah, but it’s cool. You should see him” he laughed as he followed you to the bathroom. You picked up a cloth and ran it under cold water, wrung it out, and placed it on Eddie’s head. He winced and let out a groan of pain. Maybe it was seeing you in one of his t-shirts and just your underwear, or maybe it was the testosterone and adrenaline running through him after the fight, either way, he couldn’t ignore the very obvious hard on he was getting. He moved his face closer to yours. The tension was undeniable. 

“its clearing up” you said softly, looking in his eyes. You noticed a subtle twinkle in them. He drew in for a kiss, and planted it lightly on your lips, it lasted no more than a second. Pulling away, you saw that his eyes had gotten darker, like there was a hidden motive behind them. Hidden motive? Eddie was making it pretty fucking clear. He grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you in for another kiss. This time it was passionate, and rough, and said ‘I’m going to fuck your brains out’. You melted into it, and eventually you both got the pace and pressure right. It was a good kiss. When he was satisfied, he took your hand and led you to his bedroom. He pushed you onto the bed and continued kissing you from ontop, palming your breasts through the Black Sabbath t-shirt you were wearing. He was getting more impatient by the second, but knew this was all part of the show. 

Getting off you for a split second, he took his shirt off with one hand, from his back over his head. You saw the tattoos that littered his body - these got you wetter than you already were. You let out a sigh, seeing his toned body on top of you, his lamp shining light on one side, leaving the other in the shadow. He was just so beautiful. Regaining the kiss, he started moving down your neck. The feeling was indescribable. Making you sit up, he removed your shirt, and continued kissing down your chest, sucking on your right nipple, then going lower down over your stomach to your thighs. He bit your underwear, pulled the waistband up with his teeth, and let it go, snapping down on your hip. He swiftly removed these, making you wriggle your legs out of them when they got to your ankles, and started attacking your clit with kisses, licks, and suction. He was so skilled at eating out. Knowing exactly where to suck, where to kiss, where to touch. He would lick from your entrance to your clit, and suck on it until you arched your back and let out moans and screams of pleasure. 

“say my name, baby” he didn’t let you cum until you confirmed who was making you feel this damn good.

“E-edd-die oh my fucking god Eddie” this would be enough for him to pick up the pace and not stop until your thighs were clenched around his head and you were writhing under his touch. Eddie told you to “get on your front” and so you flipped over, obediently. 

“gimme your wrists behind your back ” he demanded, and you did what he said. He went over to the hook on his wall where a pair of handcuffs were hanging. He took them off, brought them over, and placed one cuff on each wrist, binding you so you couldn’t move your hands. He swung your legs over the edge of the bed and, kneeling down, gave your pussy one last ‘once over’ by eating you out for a few more seconds. He unbuckled his belt and removed his cock out of his jeans. He pumped it once or twice, and lined up with your entrance. 

“Are you ready?” He asked, but you could only reply with a muffled ‘uhuh’ from the mattress.

He covered his dick in your juices and slowly slid himself in. The pleasure was instantaneous. You both sucked in breath, as he started to quicken the pace. Eventually, pounding into you, he had one hand on his hip and the other hand on your cuffed ones. In and out, at lightening fast pace, rough as fuck. He wanted you screaming his name. 

“say it, y/n, who fucks you the best?” He growled at you. 

“y-you do, Edd-die.”

He loves when you say his name, it makes him want to cream his pants even in a non-sexual setting. But this was a sexual setting, and he wanted to unload into you right then and there. Giving one final grunt, he slowed down, removed himself from you. His cum was dripping out your hole to which he scooped up with two fingers and shoved back into you. 

He got the keys to the cuffs, got you free, turned you over, and gave you more kisses. This time, the kisses where more gentle and soft as Eddie always made sure you felt loved afterwards. 

You slipped out of the bed, put the Black Sabbath t-shirt back on, and went to the bathroom cabinet. 

“What are you doing in there?” He shouted through, hearing you fumbling about amongst the medicine bottles. 

“I’m getting that cut on your head properly sorted, idiot” you replied, returning with a band aid big enough to cover it. You straddle him in bed, and he playfully tries to fight you off. You eventually get the band aid on the cut and sit back, laughing, taking in your patient. 

“You don’t look so punk rock now, Eds” 

[echo-of-sounds]

pregnancy

Small headcanons of how Aizawa, Toshinori, Hizashi, Fatgum, Gang Orca, and Hound Dog would be through your pregnancy.

I don’t write about giving birth (as I’m mildly terrified of doing so) so I didn’t add anything about that. Please don’t ask for me to. And even though I’m not interested in getting pregnant, I think I’d be okay with it if Kugo or Ryo were the father.

EDIT: I love picturing all of these men with little girls. It’s just so cute!

Warnings: uh, pregnancy

Aizawa Shouta

Shouta isn’t one to jump for joy when you tell him. However, you will get to see his handsome smile when he grabs your waist, breathing out a light laugh of happiness as he tightly hugs you. His smile won’t disappear for a while. Every time he glances at you, one simply finds its way onto his face.

It may not be by a whole lot, but his behavior changes. Just a little. When you’re out and about, his hand finds its way to your back or elbow much more often, particularly in a crowd. It’s the paternal instincts kicking in. His favorite cuddling position, laying between your legs with his head on your stomach, becomes harder the farther along you are. He adjusts to laying behind you, keeping a hand on your tummy throughout the entire night.

Shouta hides his worries well. Even the people closest to him have a tough time telling what exactly is going on with him. Sometimes, it’s a good thing. He’s a stable person to lean on. But it’s difficult to deal with when you’re hormonal and emotional. He pushes himself so hard to speak more. There’s no way of him understanding everything you’re going through, but when he opens up, he can tell just how much you appreciate it during the tough times. So he does it near-daily, checking in with each other before bed.

He hates how busy his life is. Well, he’s always kind of hated it. Now it’s worse because his partner’s pregnant, and he’s stuck in a room with screaming children when he should be bringing you to your appointments. Shouta attempts to make up for the absence by heading home every night and helping around the house more. Step in. Explain how you value his help, but also need him to relax. If he gets overworked, that would only stress you more.

Shouta changes his eating habits and fitness routines. He wants you to eat well for yourself and your child. He wants you to keep exercising for yourself and your child. He simply wants your body to be healthy. Don’t grumble because he’ll throw your complaining back in your face when the Lamaze coach explains how important physical health is. But don’t worry, his cute smile makes up for the teasing.

Yagi Toshinori

Toshinori is starstruck. Too many thoughts flood and fight. He loves children and has always wanted a family. Being able to father one with you is indescribable. And he never thought the universe would grant any of that. On the flip side, his fear is also undefinable. People know who he is now; who knows what’s out there, waiting to expose All Might’s weakness. The rapid thoughts may bring a tear or two. Cup his face and kiss them away, reassuring him that everything’s okay.

The fears follow him throughout your pregnancy. Like all things (with you and him), there are good days and bad days. His emotions ramp-up during your emotional and physically unwell days. He tries his best to push them down to focus on you. But they eventually end up spilling over. It’ll be common for both of you to cry at the end of the day, snuggled together, talking about the future, worries, and anticipations.

In general, Toshinori isn’t that protective. He trusts you and your abilities. Just because you’re pregnant, doesn’t mean you’re suddenly disabled. You can still do things. Although, he does become a bit of a helicopter. Whenever you bend over to pick up a bag, he beats you to it. He swoops the laundry basket from your hands, claiming, ‘You shouldn’t be lifting heavy things,’ despite it not even being ten pounds. He’s just very watchful of your movements.

He’s very active in dieting, doctor’s appointments, and planning. He eats well, so it’s easy for him to aid you in that respect. For doctors, he has quite a lot of contacts and knows many doctors from his time in the hospital. He asks around, only accepting the best for you. Planning, shopping, and setting up the nursery are his favorite parts. He loves choosing the sweetest colors, softest blankets, and, of course, all the adorable All Might onesies, toys, and superhero books he can find. The nursery is set up perfectly.

Toshinori doesn’t admit how incredibly your pregnant body enchants him. It isn’t always a horny, sexual need. It’s about admiring your body and what it’s creating. He just wonders at you. All the time. Sometimes the changes may make you feel insecure. He’s always there to listen and assure you how amazing your body is. If you want cuddles and kisses, he’ll give them with a smile. If you want gentle lovemaking, he guides you onto your back and gives you exactly what you want.

Yamada Hizashi

Expect a loud song of love, a bear hug, and jumping for joy when you tell him. Hizashi loves kids. He thinks they’re amazing and say some of the greatest things. And he’s beyond excited to see their quirk. Of course, it doesn’t mean he’ll love them any less if they’re born quirkless. He just loves imagining a little one with a similar quirk running around your place.

He is all about redecorating and planning. The entire apartment is getting babyfied and rearranged. The nursery will be beautifully painted. He regularly comes home with cute outfits and stuffed animals. Partly, it’s because he’s just so excited. The other part is he wants you to relax through the pregnancy. No stress, pressure, and unnecessary burden on your shoulders. He’s there to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible.

Hizashi doesn’t just spoil your unborn child; he spoils you, buying you those pregnancy pillows, your favorite ice cream, driving you everywhere, etc… He just hates how much time his jobs take. He’d rather spend his time with you. To help, he’ll ask for time off of patrols, choosing to be closer with you, physically, mentally, and emotionally, during your pregnancy.

In the later months, Hizashi is all over you. Seriously, he will not leave you alone. He’s very handsy, kneading and licking your swollen, sore breasts, and stroking your belly. Your body, and everything it’s doing, is utterly gorgeous to him. He’ll suck away, gently nursing on your nipple while dozing off to Tv, occasionally switching to the other so it isn’t left needy.

Toyomitsu Taishiro

When you tell Taishiro, you’ll only be able to get out a few words before you’re lifted off your feet and spun around. He smooches all over your face, laughing and cheering about how amazing and perfect and stunning you are. You’ll have to ask to be put down lest you get sick from all his spinning. But his compliments keep coming. They won’t dwindle for a while. There’s just too much love in his body to keep inside.

Whatever you’re craving, no matter if it’s pineapple dipped in ketchup, he gives without complaint. He may try some of your odd combinations. Who knows? You could be on to something new. At the same time, he also watches out for your health. The cravings suck. He understands that. He truly does. But if you ate something sweet/not as healthy for lunch, then he plans a healthy dinner for you. Your body’s going crazy. It needs its nutrients.

Your worries are always taken seriously. It could be the most absurd thing to be anxious over. Tai always listens. His cute smile and never-ending positivity help a ton. Your body and brain are going through a lot. He’ll do his part to validate all your feelings. He talks down the anxieties as you eat pickles on ice cream, making sure you are and feel heard.

Since he works one job compared to the others, he’s able to be with you much more, notably during the hard-to-handle days and at appointments. And he picks up extra chores so you can rest through aches and pains. Any choices you make regarding your pregnancy and birth, he supports. He may not agree with everything, but he loves you, and it’s your body. He’ll always put your comfort and wishes first.

Tai treasured your tummy before. But now, seeing you growing with his child, he’s absolutely enraptured. He places nightly and morning kisses on your belly. When he wakes you up, his kisses trail down to the bump. Every night, he rubs lotion into your tummy, kissing and cooing to his child. It doesn’t matter if you’re only one week pregnant, and it’s just a clump of cells in there. Tai still sings to them.

Gang Orca

Kugo is in disbelief when you tell him. He freezes, staring, hardly hearing your words. Give him five minutes. He’ll process what you said and snap back to the present. Watch out because you’re going to get lifted high into the air and maybe tossed like a father does a baby. He’s just practicing. It’ll only take one or two days for him to slip into paternal mode. It’s damn near instinct for him.

As per usual, he’s a gentle paragon behind closed doors. Throughout your pregnancy, he melts into a puddle of sweet honey. His overall affection skyrockets. His hands and claws are as tender as possible whenever they touch you, doing whatever you need him to: massaging your back and legs, rubbing lotion all over, or brushing your hair. He reassures you through tears. He prepares healthy meals that satisfy your cravings. And he holds you all night, keeping you safe on his chest and in his arms.

Kugo goes to every single checkup and appointment. It doesn’t matter if it’s just an ordinary visit to your primary care doctor; he calls out of work and goes with you. At any ultrasounds, expect a few tears, especially when you hear the heartbeat for the first time. He holds them in until you’re alone. The second the door closes, his forehead is nudging yours as small, loved-filled tears fall. He never thought he’d get a family. Part of him thought he didn’t deserve a family, but you’ve proven that false repeatedly.

The farther along you are, the more he watches out for you. He checks in every morning to make sure you took your medicine and vitamins. He washes you so you don’t strain yourself. If you’re waddling, he offers his arm for support and helps you stand. If your back hurts, he applies a heating patch to your lower back and puts your shoes on for you. If you need it, he can carry you to the car and into where you’re going.

As does everyone, Kugo has doubts about his quirk and abilities. People have always viewed those with mutations differently. And it can affect their health, leading to numerous doctor visits and tests. He doesn’t want his baby to deal with the staring, whispers, self-doubts, and distress he did. To support him, talk in detail about his fears and help him realize he’s never disappointed you or hurt anyone. Kugo’s exactly how he should be.

Hound Dog

Ryo doesn’t have a tail, but you’ll definitely see a little happy wiggly before he hugs you. The following week, he keeps you close as he acts differently: rubbing up against you to ensure you smell like him, touching your nose with his, lapping along your neck, sleeping incredibly close, and occasionally smelling between your legs, licking the air around there to smell better. It’s awkward, almost weird, since it isn’t average ‘human’ behavior. But if you love him, let him do it. Please. Understand his nose works differently. It reassures and comforts him to smell you, checking in to see if anything’s changed.

Ryo gets protective when you’re on your period: When you’re pregnant, it’s so, so incredibly worse. He hovers, grumbling low at those walking by. Others barely hear it. It’s intense enough for you to feel it when he’s behind you. He doesn’t like people running up to you, or startling you, or roughhousing or playing in any way. He’s lenient with children, less with teens. Women get a deep growl and scowl. God help any man that approaches you. You might have to have him wear his Hero outfit’s muzzle until you give birth. Though, that might not help because then he’d be protective of two people.

It’s only the teensiest amount better at home. He makes you rest, almost too much. After work or some time outside, he shuffles you to the couch so you can’t overwork yourself. He’s a pleasant change of pace from his typical gruff self. However, as great as he is at the physical needs, he still struggles with the emotional aspects. You can cry on his shoulder, complain, and talk about your worries all you need to. He’s just a bit clunky when it comes to reciprocating the soft emotions. But he puts all his heart into it, and it’s easy to tell.

Ryo is also one who loves pregnancy sexy. You’re swollen and sensitive, and he loves watching your breasts bounce, maybe even leak a little depending on how far along you are. And since you’re already pregnant, he releases and stays inside. After, he lays behind you, keeping himself deep in you despite being flaccid, just feeling how wet and aroused and full you are because of him. When the heated moment is finally done, he licks you clean, nearly getting drunk off your smell.

[themuseandantarctica]

* 𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒑𝒕. 25

change however necessary.

“People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be.  It is what it used to be.  That is what is wrong with it.”

“No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible.”

“I do not mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I do not understand.”

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”

“A great many people mistake opinions for thoughts.”

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.”

“A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.”

“Every man should periodically be compelled to listen to opinions which are infuriating to him.  To hear nothing but what is pleasing to one is to make a pillow of the mind.”

“I share no man’s opinions; I have my own.”

“Opinion is ultimately determined by feeling, and not by the intellect.”

“Everyone’s entitled to my opinion.”

“Let your mind wander in simplicity, blend your spirit with the vastness, follow along with things the way they are, and make no room for personal views—then the world will be governed.”

“It has bothered me all my life that I do not paint like everybody else.”

“Originality is unexplored territory.  You get there by carrying a canoe.  You can’t take a taxi.”

“Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not possibly have met.”

“Everything has been thought of before, but the problem is to think of it again.”

“Make it a practice to keep on the lookout for novel and interesting ideas that others have used successfully. Your idea has to be original only in its adaptation to the problem you are working on.”

“Originality does not consist in saying what no one has ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think yourself.”

“A painter is a choreographer of space.”

“Painting is just another way of keeping a diary.”

“The only time I feel alive is when I’m painting.”

“For me, painting is a way to forget life.  It is a cry in the night, a strangled laugh.”

“I want to die painting.”

“When I’ve painted a woman’s bottom so that I want to touch it, then the painting is finished.”

“It’s enough to disgust you with love forever after.  Those buttocks he gives those wenches ought not to be allowed.”

“If necessary, I would even paint with my bottom.”

“How vain painting is—we admire the realistic depiction of objects which in their original state we don’t admire at all.”

“It is a widely accepted notion among painters that it does not matter what one paints as long as it is well painted.  This is the essence of academicism.  There is no such thing as good painting about nothing.”

“Painting is silent poetry, and poetry is painting that speaks.”

“Painting is damned difficult… you always think you’ve got it, but you haven’t.”

“When I paint, the sea roars.  The others splash about in the bath.”

“Painting is a nail to which I fasten my ideas.”

“Painting is stronger than me, it makes me do its bidding.”

“Shall I tell you what I think are the two qualities of a work of art? First, it must be indescribable, and second, it must be inimitable.”

“The painting has a life of its own.”

“Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.”

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.”

“A portrait is a painting with something wrong with the mouth.”

“A painting without something disturbing in it—what’s that?”

“A good picture, any picture, has to be bristling with razor blades.”

“This is either a forgery or a damn clever original.”

“A paradox is only the truth standing on its head to attract attention.”

“There are trivial truths and the great truths.  The opposite of a trivial truth is planly false.  The opposite of a great truth is also true.”

“All know that the drop merges into the ocean, but few know that the ocean merges into the drop.”

“The word ‘paradox’ has always had a kind of magic for me, and I think my pictures have a paradoxical quality, a paradox of chaos and order in one.”

“How wonderful that we have met with a paradox.  Now we have some hope of making progress.”

“In painting you must give the idea of the true by means of the false.”

“Although this may seem a paradox, all exact science is dominated by the idea of approximation.”

“Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.”

“Children need models rather than critics.”

“There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.”

“Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of children rearing.  You don’t put kids under surveillance.  Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.”

“Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in quiet.”

“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them as you think you should and half the amount of money.”

“If you want to see what children can do, you must stop giving them things.”

“If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.”

“Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience.”

“You cannot have genius without patience.”

“Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.”

“If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.”

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.”

“Impatient people always arrive too late.”

“Beware the fury of a patient man.”

“To injure an opponent is to injure yourself.  To control aggression without inflicting injury is the Art of Peace.”

“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.”

“Peace on earth would be the end of civilization as we know it.”

“Five enemies of peace inhabit with us—avarice, ambition, envy, anger, and pride; if these were to be banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace.”

“How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol?  How about the pillow?  It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn’t have that dangerous beak.”

“Peace is costly but it is worth the expense.”

“I hate television.  I hate it as much as peanuts.  But I can’t stop eating peanuts.”

“No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.”

“Peanut butter is the paté of childhood.”

“If you don’t mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.”

“Even what can appear to be the most common, small, and simple of objects, can reveal itself to be on its own terms as complex and as grand as a space shuttle or a great suspension bridge.”

“A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence.”

“Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from the cornfield.”

“Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a colored pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling.”

“I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.”

“Whenever two people meet there are six present.  There is the man he sees himself, each as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is.”

“It is also true that one can write nothing readable unless one constantly struggles to efface one’s own personality.  Good prose is like a windowpane.”

“There used to be a me behind the mask, but I had it surgically removed.”

“You cannot develop a personality with physics alone, the rest of life must be worked in.”

“We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.”

“For I was: I was alive: I could feel: I could guard my personality, the imprint of that mysterious unity from which my being was derived.”

“The achievements which society rewards are won at the cost of diminution of personality.”

[thesmpisonfire]

A Fundy and Tommy meeting, and neither of them knows how to express their feelings without screaming.

Its ends well, don’t worry. I’m after my second clown certificate

Tommy was alone in his tent. Not even Dream was around this time. He kept breaking logs, building "tiki torches" and trying his best to not look at the beach. It had passed 2 days already, and no one appeared, so they certainly didn't care. Ghostbur passed around the beginning of the day, now off to find a horse (Ghostbur remembered that Tommy had a horse, once. It made him happy, so he was after another one), but Tommy couldn't care less. Ghostbur also didn't appeared at his beach party.

Only Dream. Like always.

Maybe it was meant to be like that.

His pity thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone crossing the portal, his first thought being "Tubbo!". Tommy quickly brushed it off, Tubbo didn't care enough to visit him. "Ranboo?" Was his second guess, but he didn't hear the usual greetings, so it wasn't the half enderman. Then, it was set on "...Dream", as it should be in the first place. He sighed, quickly taking off his newly made iron armor.

"Hello, Dream.... Let's get this done alrea-"

Tommy turned around, looking to a very confused face that certainly wasn't Dream. Fundy was holding something in an picnic bag, those ones that kept the cold inside, some ashes in his clothes and a lil bit of the jacket more burned.

"I really don't know if I should ask about the 'Dream' thing, or why you put a fucking plank to people get to your portal." He kinda laughed, trying to brush of the uncomfortable mood.

Tommy went silent, holding his armor close and and walking away from Fundy. "If people want to visit me, they need to fucking prove it." Tommy said, bitter as he never was before.

Fundy left the picnic bag at Tommy's tent, watching the kid put his things in a secret chest. "Well, you are only making it easier to die. I fixed it after I crossed" Fundy smiled, proud of himself.

Tommy froze, turning back to the fox. "You did what?" Conflicted feelings were fighting inside of him now. On one side, he was angry that Fundy was messing with his ideas and plans. At the order, he was so happy. If Fundy fixed it, it was because he had the intention to come back more often, and Tommy was so happy with it.

"Fixed the bridge, we don't wanna people falling down in their way here, do we?" Fundy smiled at Tommy as soon as he approached.

Tommy was tempted to smile too, but he was seeing something off. This was Fundy. The scammer. The once traitor. The sly fox.

The voice in his head wasn't even his anymore, sounding too much like a certain masked man, filling him with doubt and fear.

"What the fuck do you want?"

Fundy looked like he just got slapped in the face, not imagining this reaction, specially out of nowhere like that.

"What? What do you mean, Tommy?"

"You must be after something, aren't you?" Tommy's words were filled with anger and resentment, the monsters in his mind talking for him. "What is it? Untouched forest? Mines still unexplored?" He slowly approached Fundy, pointing at his face.

"Tommy, I'm not after any of those things!" Fundy explained himself, now more worried than ever.

Tommy let out a dry laugh, looking around now. "So, it's because you fucking pity me, don't you?" He pointed to himself now, then to the picnic bag. "You even brought up a pity present!"

Fundy was just bringing some primecicles he and Ranboo had just made, but he couldn't spoil any of it. "Tommy, I'm not pitying you." He tried to reason, pitching the bridge of his nose. Patience, Fundy... The kid is messed up. Don't make it worse.

"Yes, you are! You don't care about me! None of you care about me!" Tommy walked away, laughing. “You all doesn’t even bother to visit me anymore!”

Fundy couldn’t be more confused. He was right there, visiting. What the hell was happening to Tommy?

The coder was a smart person, even if people tend to overlook it. Fundy noticed the explosion holes poorly covered up, the dull blue eyes, the beaten up clothes. He just didn’t want to address it in order to not make the atmosphere uncomfortable, but Tommy was really pushing up. Fundy and Tommy never had any boundaries in their fights, being pretty open about their sides, and things were starting to spill, hot and hurtful.

“Tommy, I am right here and...” Fundy got interrupted by Tommy’s outburst, tears forming at the corners of the kid’s eyes.

“YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ME!” Tommy shouted, screaming loudly enough to scare a nearby bird. “NONE OF YOU EVEN MISS ME! YOU ALL LEFT ME ALONE!”

Even if Tommy was the one crying and shouting his feelings out loud, he saw the moment he messed up. Fundy’s ears flattened against his head and his tail went still. Tommy, the once brave and reckless Tommy, took a step back when he saw Fundy clenching his fist.

“Oh, you think people left you?” Fundy’s voice was low, a bittersweet smile now open.

Tommy was hurt in so many ways, indescribable ones, but Fundy wasn’t far behind.

Fundy approached Tommy, looking at the teenager in the eyes.

“Say it again.”

“...What?”

“Say it again, Tommy!” Fundy raised his voice, losing his limit. Neither of them was good with hiding their feelings. “Say again that people are leaving you!”

Tommy opened his mouth to repeat, but nothing was said. Fundy looked as hurt as him, and he was clearly not pitying the teenager, so Tommy was willing to listen

Fundy breathed in, trying to calm himself. “Tommy, you were the one who made that Christmas tree?”

“...No”

“Those discs you have right now, you got them alone?”

“No.”

“Did you built the tent alone?”

“No, but...”

“The very first day...” Fundy’s voice broke a little, but he quickly dismissed it. “You were alone here?”

“Ghostbur came with me.”

“Yes, he did.” Fundy sadly smiled, his voice a lot calmer now. “Who helped you with the beach?”

“Drea-”

“No.” Fundy cut him short, a hand on his shoulder. “That fucking bastard is the cause you are here. He basically forced your exile to happen. He was not helping, he was watching.” Tommy closed his eyes, his mind spinning.

Dream is a friend. Dream put you here. Dream has been good with you. Dream is a fucking monster. Dream cares about you. Dreams cares about nothing but the discs.

“Tommy... Who was here with you, helping with the beach?” Fundy’s voice was soft, as he hoped that he wasn’t pushing too much.

“Ghostbur, you, and Phil...” Tommy’s voice was so small, so broken.

“Yes, we were.” Fundy waited for Tommy open his eyes, which he did, tears stains in his face.

“Ranboo tries to visit you everyday, and I’m trying to do the same.” Fundy reassured Tommy, looking around. “But... Dream is always here, and we don’t want to mess anything and lose contact with you.”

Tommy blinked, pieces matching together. That was why his friends weren’t there? Because of Dream? That was why Dream was always there?

“Ranboo also told me about a beach party... That I never got the invite...”

“Dream said it was delivered by Ghostbur in your mails!” Tommy shouted again.

“We don't even have mailboxes in L’manberg, Tommy! How we could have received mail?” Fundy snapped back.

Tommy felt like everything was falling apart again, revealing a not so pleasant truth. “He... He could have slipped under the doors... or...”

“Tommy. There were no invites.” Fundy held him by his shoulders again.

They went silent, Tommy’s eyes darting around while his whole reality was shaking. “But... Tubbo hates me, right? He destroyed the compass.” He sounded lost again.

“It was my fault.” Fundy mumbled, not looking at Tommy. “He died and... I should have been faster when picking up his stuff, a creeper ended up exploding it... The compass broke. But Tubbo still have it, even if it doesn’t have the needle anymore.” Tommy felt like crying again.

But Dream said...

Dream was fucking lying.

“I know he doesn’t visit you... He is scared that you hates him.” Fundy confessed. “That’s why he came when you weren’t around.” He played with his jacket, looking at the portal’s direction. “Tubbo misses you, man.”

Tommy angrily cleaned his tears, looking at Fundy. He pushed the fox, not as strong as he was thinking. “Stop lying to me!” He shouted, trying to push Fundy again. He felt Fundy holding his arms, and he didn’t have the strength to fight back. Tommy was still crying, not knowing in who to believe.

Dream was there everyday for him, he have Tommy gear, he was the only person not pitying Tommy- Tommy had so many other friends coming over, he had received things because his friends wanted to help him- Tommy was alone- Tommy was not alone.

“I am not lying, Tommy. I wouldn’t do this.” Fundy freed Tommy’s arms.

“You are always lying...” Tommy mumbled.

“Not about this.” Fundy was serious, Tommy could hear in his voice.

“Then... Dream lied to me.”

The fox just nodded, feeling that talking would interrupt Tommy’s line of thought.

Well, he didn’t expected Tommy to silent walk away, come back with a trident while walking towards the beach, and throw it away with the most angered, betrayed, heartbreaking scream Tommy had ever made.

Fundy approached Tommy, who was sitting on the sand, face hidden in his hands. Fundy hugged him by the side, rubbing his arm a little, and Fundy couldn’t stop the memories back at the L’manberg Independence war. Those cold nights where he, Tommy and Tubbo had to spend up on the walls, watching over for enemies. The two would always end up sleeping on Fundy’s shoulders, one with his jacket and other with his tail around. Wilbur gave up on scolding them for their lack of self care in sleeping on the job after some time, and just started to do the watching himself. Easier times that would never come back .

“I will fight him back.” Tommy said, looking up and sniffling.

Fundy smiled, seeing that small spark in Tommy’s eyes. “We are already planning something at our front” The fox got up, cleaning the sand in his clothes. “I’m not telling you what because its nothing set but... We just need you to be strong for only a little bit more.”

Tommy weakly smiled, still sitting on the sand. “I can try-”

“Nope. Cut of this ‘try’ shit.” Fundy was harsh, but he knew Tommy, the boy still had that fire on him, it just needed to grow. “You, Tommy Innit, Big Man...” He saw Tommy chuckle, and kept going. “The guy who learned ‘The green bastard will die’ in 6 different languages just to piss off the enemy, and also the most brave person that I know...”

Fundy put a dirt block on the ground, stepping on it. “... Will you keep going strong?”

Tommy got up with the help of Fundy’s hand, smiling again for the first time in weeks. “I will be the strongest.”

“YEEEEAH!” Fundy pulled him over the dirt block, changing places and looking up to Tommy, smiling widely when he saw the shine back to his eyes. “Let’s kill that fucking bastard!” Tommy cheered, thinking about his secret room, about his compass, about his friends, his family, his home.

They heard the portal, someone crossing it. They looked at Niki and Ranboo, both of them with a cake on their hands. “I think I just missed something.” Niki smiled, and Tommy had to stop himself to run in her direction. “Sorry for the wait!” Ranboo said, approaching them. “But Niki lives in the woods now, its sooo far away and-”

“It doesn’t matter.” Tommy cut, and he meant it.

They all sat on the table at the beach, never talking about L’manburg once, instead just laughing and enjoying the sunset.

Tommy was going to fight.

And he wasn’t going to be the loser again.

[gojology]

Clubs Aren’t My Thing. (2/2) (18+)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 | woooo, part 2 ! as stated previously, this is heavily inspired by @/mystic-sky on tumblr or skyfelt on ao3. amazing writer, check her out (but this isn’t a direct copy, just same storyline in a way). i’m cleaning up my writing a lot, i think. maybe im getting better as well? probably not but uh i kinda gave up at the end and uh.. hope u enjoy.

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | Voyeurism To Some Degree, Teasing, Ripped Tights, I didn’t proof read. 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Dom! Gojo x Sub! Female Reader

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 4561

𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | In which you finally get fucked by this mysterious, yet freakishly handsome stranger. That’s it, you just get fucked.

       The first thing you realize is how cold it is.     The wind is working against you, it seems, as you take your first step out of the warm building. Hair blows in every direction, you button up your cardigan, your breath coming out in puffs of smoke. Shivers went down your spine.    Not too far behind you, the mysterious man that you had met just an hour ago trailed behind, winking and waving at the girls confidently using him as eye-candy. Long strides, hands shoved into his pockets.    Your heart swells as you watch other woman stare flirtatiously as he gestured back at them, before their eyes set on you. He followed you like a duckling, and you’re sure to relish in how powerful it made you feel.    He walked like a model, with so much confidence. He didn’t appear as cold, his cheeks were flush and he reeked of fruity sugary alcohol, a playful grin still stubbornly on his face, 5 minutes later.    “Uber should be coming soon... I think, too lazy to check. You cold?” he slurred huskily.    You nod. For a one night stand, he was strangely kind to you.     He doesn’t say anything after that, so you opt to listen to the life around you. The clicking of high heels, the chatter, the drunken rants.     “Aw, come here.”     He didn’t give you much of a choice, though. Pulling you in to his chest, without warning. Your first instinct is to scream bloody murder, but he’s so warm, and you definitely need it.    One loose arm over your figure, his unoccupied arm dangled dangerously close to your butt. Taking in a deep breath, anticipating the feeling of being so scandalous in public, he chuckles breathily, almost like a taunt. You can feel the rumble in his chest as he cleared his throat.    You stare up at him, confused as to why you’re not feeling anything in your lower regions, before you realize what he was doing.    Rubbing your head with the once unoccupied hand, his fingers weaved into your hair as he sniffled. Something about the interaction was strangely intimate, but you don’t dare to say a word.     You inhale sharply, rubbing your face into his chest. You want to get closer, deep in bliss as he seemed to return the want back. You want to close any remaining space between the two of you, but making the first move was scary.    He yawns, and this triggers you to yawn as well. It was probably well past 1 AM by now, and you were tired.    You couldn’t hear much around you other then the honk of the growing sea of cars, some people just starting their night, and the others ending it.     “Oh shit. Our Uber’s here.” he mutters under his breath, pushing you out of his chest gently.    Whining, you try to push yourself back into his arms, he takes a quick glance down at you, traces of a faint lukewarm smile playing upon his lips. Almost like he’s saying, “Are you kidding me right now?” before taking a hold of your hand.     Fingers intertwining as if they were meant to be together, you gawk down at your hands, before looking back up at him.     There were a few issues, one, you had no idea if this man had an intent to kidnap you. Second, you didn’t know what the Uber looked like, and you’re too embarrassed to ask. Third, he was holding your hand with no hesitation, and the feeling in your chest was indescribable.    You can’t tell what he’s thinking, but you hope that it’s something along the lines of what you’re thinking. Your eyes briefly flickering over his jawline as you pondered to yourself, but what you do know is that you’re being dragged towards the presumed Uber. It’s sleek, and black, with a glossy finish, you note.    “Yo chill, I’m not gonna kidnap you, missy.” chuckling, examining your doubtful, yet frightened expression. He swung open the car door carelessly.    “After you, m’lady.” he adds, bowing and straightening, his chin up.     “Thank you, Sir Mysterious.” you give him a small smile before sliding into the sleek, comfortable seats.     His eyebrow raised, he looked at you.    “That’s a first.”     “It’s also a shit nickname, maybe that’s why you’ve never heard it.” you suggested.    “I like it. Has a nice ring to it.” a lukewarm smile played at his glossy lips.    The sly smile wipes clean off your face, he laughs at you while sliding into his designated seat, as if he owned the car.    Right. You were in a car, and it would be best for you to study your surroundings, just to make sure you weren’t being kidnapped.     The car was obviously expensive, black leather reclining seats, and a sweet offering of warmth against the chill of the midnight air.    A coffee cup idly stood in the cup holder, the driver taking a quick sip and turning his body to look at you two. Air fresheners and various trinkets dangled from the rear-view mirror, swinging back and forth     “A couple, eh? You wanna go to this address?”     The driver whipped his phone out, an address in black, bold text stood out.     “Yep.” the man says confidently.     Opening your mouth to speak, you try to inform the driver that he wasn’t your boyfriend, before your supposed boyfriend covers your mouth with his hand as soon as the driver repositioned towards the steering wheel.     You realize that his other hand is on your thigh, stroking your skin.    This newfound position was at the very least, terrifying. There was another person in the vehicle, for starters, and you weren’t exactly the quiet type when it came to, well, anything in general.     Cold, large calloused hands considerately caressed your thigh, and your breathing hitches. His other arm against his side, but you know his fingers are itching to feel you all over. You want to moan, but the driver’s presence is enough to tell you that it would be stupid.    Fingers drawing shapes, words, anything would repeatedly loop on the sensitive skin just barely. He was definitely teasing you, but you couldn’t quite fight back.    “Why don’t you be a good girl and stay quiet for me?” he whispers, you anticipate the driver to look back at the two of you, and to throw both of you off the car, but he does no such thing.    Feebly, you raise your arm up, ignoring the flirtatious request. Swatting his hand away in a desperate attempt to get him to stop before it got out of hand, but he’s persistent.    It’s getting even more difficult to breathe quietly now, your body getting hotter and hotter and hotter.    It doesn’t take long for a noise to slip out from your lips that you can’t quite shut up, and the driver turns to look at you.     “So precious.” the white haired man mouths to you before quickly turning his head to look at the window, humming to himself, still caressing your thigh.     “Ma’am? Are you okay?”     About to respond, the white haired man scooched closer to you. His clothed leg now rubbing your bare skin. He whistles innocently in the opposite direction before skimming his hand against your inner thigh, and you almost shriek.    Instead, you let out a pathetic gasp.    Panning his gaze over to you, he gives you a sly, playful smirk, before looking away again.    Drawing more shapes onto your skin, he hums. It was so hard to focus, or even remember the words the driver had said literally just a minute ago. You feel yourself shiver, almost losing yourself entirely to his hands before shakily responding to the driver, praying to any divine figure in the skies that you would be coherent.     “Y-yeah. Just, spilled water on m-my clothes.” you reply, barely audible.     The driver’s eyes stared back at yours, concern etched onto his features, before sighing. Tension grew inside of you.    “Alright, if you need anything, just ask, okay ma’am?”     Trying to respond, no sound comes out of your mouth, and the reason dawns on you. Taking a quick look down, the man’s digits were now fumbling with your panties, brushing against your wetness.     It takes a moment for you to register in your brain, you thank every entity possible for preventing the inevitable slew of noises you’d make. Waves of need crashing over your body. You hungrily stare at him, hoping that he’d be kind enough to stop and save it for later.     Circling your entrance through the now utterly soaked panties, he dips his finger in, just enough so you could feel the slight pressure against your sensitive skin.    He’s fucking taunting you again.    Driver be damned, you needed him.    Opening your legs more, you confidently peer at him, inviting him to explore your body even more. His fingers are drumming against the leather surface, the other hand had retreated back to your thigh,  boldly looking at you back.     “No. I thought you didn’t want to, what’s with the change of thought?” he mouths, stifling a chuckle and a smug tone, already knowing what you were going to ask.   Bewildered, you gape at him before shaking your head curtly, making sure you’re staring daggers at his stupidly arrogant face.     “Stop fucking playing with me then!”     “You’re too cute.”    “Fine then.” closing your legs, you stare out the window, your chin sitting on the palm of your hand. Flickering blurry lights passing by quickly. Looking at your reflection, you steal a quick glance at the flirtatious bastard.     “If you’re so angry, why can’t you look away from me for 1 second?” he whispers proudly.    You can’t think of a snarky remark, so you huff and look back at the window defeatedly.    What a cocky arrogant little-    Your bruised pride burning into ashes, you grunt in response before the car abruptly halts to its stop.    Were you two too loud?    “What are you two so scared for? Freezing up like a deer in headlights, we’re at your destination.” the driver said, twisting his head around, his eyebrow slightly raised.     “Oh, yeah, thanks.”     That was way too close to comfort, and you’re resisting the urge of banging on his chest for being so overly confident in his endeavors. You open the car door, cursing under your breath, swinging your legs out and lightly stepping out.     First thing you realize in the new destination? This guy was obviously loaded.     In front of you were a bunch of condos, and it was bound to cost a lot. Modern architecture was all you could see, wide windows and balconies in every corner. Suddenly, you’re self conscious about your outfit, were you too poorly dressed?    The man hums, placing his hand on your shoulder. Plant life was meticulously placed in such a beautiful manner that you promise yourself that you would search up his name- if you ever got it, on the Forbes lists.    “Like what you see?”    Snapping out of it, you look back at him, and you nod, still astounded by his presumed riches.    “Yeah? Lets go up missy, I got more to show, in more ways then one.”  ‧₊˚✩彡.            Standing in front of his door, you realize how quiet and still the atmosphere is. He fumbles with his keys, muttering to himself, and you can’t help but wonder if you’re about to have sex with some celebrity.     Not knowing how to start conversation, you clear your throat.     “You ever going to tell me your name?”     “Aw, the little baby still wants my name.” he cooed    “Call me Gojo.” he adds nonchalantly.    “(Y/N).” you reply, ecstatic. That wasn’t too hard, but you wonder why he didn’t just give up his name to you at the club earlier. Perhaps he didn’t think he was going to take you back?    “Aw, sugar. You scared?” Gojo says, looking you up and down. Well, that’s what you assumed. He still had his glasses on.    “No I’m not, who said that?”    “Look at your legs, missy.” he cheekily replies.    Looking down, you realize you’re violently shaking, and you didn’t even realize it.    “...Maybe.” you say coyly.    He breathily chuckles, finally opening the door with the right key.    You’re surprised by the presence of such a spotless place, a large, plush black leather couch was in one corner, the other, an island. Amazingly large windows replaced what would usually be the walls, and you could see the extent of the city life from where you’re standing.      “Slip your shoes off girly, sandals on the left. Can I offer you something?” Gojo questions you, walking over to the island.     “...I’m not much of a drinker.” you reply, still standing in the doorway. You were honestly more interested in him then the small talk.     “Baby, sit down. Don’t you wanna see me up close?” he pats the cushioned island seats, and you sheepishly walk over.    “I have apple juice too. If that’s more your vibe.” you watched him swirl some melting ice cubes around in a glass of water with a spoon.    “I’m not 12.” you retort, maybe the guy wasn’t a celebrity. No famous guy has apple juice in the fridge, rather then fancy champagne and wine.     Gojo snickers, “Hey, I’m not 12 either, I’m nearing my fucking 30′s but I can never reject a good box of apple juice, plus, I teach a group of kiddos that drink this shit like it’s fine wine.”     You pause, this guy was NEAR 30? He certainly didn’t look the age, and second of all, he bought apple juice just for the kids he taught? That was surprisingly sweet, but that didn’t explain the richness.    “You’re a teacher?” you nod as he hands you a chilled box of apple juice.     “Uh, yeah.” he scratches the back of his neck. “International Japanese teacher, sometimes I just teach in Japan as well. It pays good.”     “No way you actually live here. Is this your friends place?”     He laughs loudly, “So backhanded, and sassy! Nah, this is my place. As I said, job pays well. Feel free to stop by for a good fucking.” he says whilst pouring liquor into his glass cup.    “You’re really confident in your abilities of fucking people.” you sarcastically note aloud as he slides into the comfortable tall stool next to you, drink in hand.    “Hm, you weren’t saying that when I was touching you in that car, brat. How strange.” sipping his beverage lightly.     Your mouth zipped shut, and he laughs again.     “Aw, don’t go all awkward on me.” his once vacant hand now rubbing your shoulder. Setting down his drink, taking off his glasses. He doesn’t give you much time to admire his eyes, but what you can see is an almost aquamarine color, flecks of darker blue sprinkled throughout. So brilliantly colored it didn’t look real.     Before you realize it, he leans closer into your neck, suckling your skin and lightly nibbling. His breath fanning over your delicate skin, you can’t even hold back, gasping a little as his hands played with the hem of your cardigan, tugging at it playfully.     You can’t even formulate words. He was undeniably good, his suckling now gradually getting more harsher and harsher, and you dread coming back to your friends place, neck full of hickeys, you’d be nudged for whoever did that to you for the rest of your life.     He grunts, standing up in the little space between what was his stool and yours, even on such a surprisingly tall stool he still towered over you. He has to slightly crouch before his eyes is at the level of your neck, hungrily crashing back down.      “G-Gojo!” you squeaked, struggling to do much of anything. You’re limp on the stool, slumped and burning up. Your skin was ridiculously hot.     “Hmmm?” he smiles into your neck, pausing momentarily, you can feel him exhale harshly on your skin. You look him up and down, the sexual tension between the two of you was prominent, and so was the tent in his pants.     You feel a whine creep up towards your throat, now realizing just how wet you are. Ignoring this, you gesture to your clothes. The layers were sticking to you, and you never wanted anything more then to just get the sex started.    “...Hot.” is all you can muster pathetically.     “What was, baby?” he coos at you.     “Me.” shrugging off your cardigan the best you can, you let out a subtle whine, the weird feeling growing between your legs.     “Yes, we both know you’re hot.” tipping your chin upwards to look at him, he smiles. “use your words.”     “Clothes.. Off.” you pant, obviously sick and tired of the stupid sexual tension and the teasing.     “Full sentence, girly.” he repeats, stroking your cheek with his thumb.     You inhale his scent, smelling of expensive cologne and lingering sickeningly sweet alcohol. Looking up at him, but averting your gaze as soon as you saw those incredible eyes once again.    “Look at me.” he orders.    You peer up at him, swallowing.     “P-please, take my clothes off.” you say politely.     “All it took was a few hickeys? You really are a pretty kitty.” he smiles, kissing your forehead. “Get down.”     You nod obediently, getting off the stool and looking back up at him, anticipating his next step.     He bends down, swooping you up bridal style. One arm under your legs, gripped firmly onto the skin, the other under your waist. Your arms instinctively and rather slackly around his shoulders.     You expect something, a kiss, anything, but all Gojo does is walk down an endless hallway full of doors.     You lean closer into him while pouting, hoping that’ll catch his attention, but he doesn’t say a word.     “Where are we going?” you finally ask, growing needy.    “Bedroom. I’m not fucking on the couch. Pretty princesses deserve to be nice and comfy.” he replies back, fidgeting with the door knob. For a few seconds, all you can hear is how rapidly your heart is beating inside your chest, the rustling of clothes brushing against one another, and then the feeling sets in again.     You could very well be fucking someone that was out of your league.     He breathes a sigh of relief, and before you have the time to fully study his bedroom, he throws you off of the bed with a grunt.     Gojo’s toned forearms by your side, you were obviously trapped. You can see his chain just dangle barely swing back and forth on the tip of your nose, his lips curled into a lukewarm smile.    “You were so cheeky with me earlier, where’d she go?” stroking the corner of your lips.     He doesn’t give you the time to respond, instead locking lips with you and rolling over to be on your side. It starts off small and soft first, but it gradually grew hot. The fluttering in your chest only intensified. Tongues exploring every inch of one another’s mouth, you swear you can taste mint. The anxiety melted off of you like wax, and the only thing he could focus on was how soft you felt against his lips. Delightfully experienced enough for it to be good, but not better then him.    The smell of him was stronger now, and you’re sure you won’t be able to leave without some of it remaining on your clothes. Regardless, it was an addicting smell. Something you needed to come back to. Furiously exhaling through both of your noses, he finally lets go.     Dazed, your whole body tingles. You want him to claim you all as your own, hungrily staring at him for more. Both of you were radiating heat. The kissing left little for thought, and all you can think about is kissing him once again. It seemed that the more you spent with him, the more demand you had for his attention.    “Such cute noises. Makes me want to ravish you more.”     Gojo tenderly pulls you in, claiming your mouth as his once again. Fumbling with your cardigan, yanking it off of your body. Large, hot hands brushing against your now semi-exposed skin, and you know he wants more. His hands brushed against your butt under your skirt, and you shiver just a bit.     Pulling out from the kiss, he looks at you, panting heavily.     “So beautiful.” he murmurs, brushing his thumb against your swollen lips.     “You wanna know why they call me the best?”     You nod, his arm snakes above your waist, forcefully flipping you down head first into the blankets.     Just now realizing that all your clothes are no where to be found, presumably on the floor, you shiver at the cold air conditioner blowing against you. That is, besides your skirts and your tights.     “On your arms, baby. Knees too.” he instructs, patting your butt.     You obey, a warmth rushing to your cheeks again. He had you like a dog being trained by it’s owner, following their every order.     “Good girl.” he says under his breath.     You’re about to tell him that you’re still wearing tights, about to open your mouth, you heard a loud rip disturb the peaceful atmosphere, and a cold exposure to your lower regions.     You squeal, digging your face into the covers, and he chuckles again.     “Oh baby. You were begging for this, I can see why now.” you felt him drag his fingers against your panties, and you whimper.    “So impatient for my touch, aren’t you kitty? You’ll have to wait.”     About to complain, you look back at him before you find him shoving you down, sitting on your knees now, your nipples hardened in the air, but you want to be stimulated else where.    “Be patient, and you’ll be rewarded, no complaining.”     “But-” he cuts you off.     “Don’t fucking talk over me, you got that?”     “...Yes sir.”      His eyes soften, and he gives you a soft kiss on the forehead before his hands brushed against your nipples, rubbing them with his thumb. Rolling the sensitive bud, you loudly moan, trying to express that you wanted more.    “God, you’re so cute.” he says under his breath, still rubbing and now slightly pulling them. Placing his mouth upon the abused buds, you stifle a cry out.     Gently suckling, he used his other hand to play with the other attention-starved nipple mildly.     You whine out again, beginning to melt under his stupidly experienced hands and mouth. The attention was nice, but you needed it some place else, his eyes looked up at you, his wet mouth still suckling your breast.     Taking his wet mouth off your nipple, he looked at you, mischief still evident on his face.     “You like that?” he says,  cocking his head to his side.    “I-If I say anything, It’ll fill your stupid ego.” you breathed.     “And if you don’t say anything I’m not doing shit.” his hand now rubbing your butt.     “You ripped my tights!” you spat back.     “I’ll pay for it and more, no bother babygirl. Now tell me what I want to hear.”      He obviously wasn’t lying, he could probably turn any girl into putty if he just wanted to, and here you were, in the palm of his hand.     “...Please touch me more.” you uttered shamelessly.    “Good girl. On your back, spread those pretty little legs for me too, why don’t you?”     Lying down on the plush mattress and warm pillows, you stare at the ceilings.    You peered at him starting where he left off. Giving you faint, yet chaste kisses on your breasts, trailing kisses down your stomach.     “Aw, your panties are absolutely fucking soaked baby, how cute.” he cooed, parting the soaked fabric to the side.     You look at him undress thoughtlessly, but you’re sure he’s done this several times. He did it with little to no effort, but that would mean that you’re not special.    It would be useless to think about right now, you were gonna have the dicking of your lifetime anyway, it was called a one night-stand for a reason. The mountain of clothes grew taller.    Growing impatient, you look up to where he was once standing, only to find him already in between your legs.     “So pretty.” Gojo purred, circling your entrance just as he had done previously in the car ride, you squeak.     “So lucky this is all mine.”     Gojo had figured he could add, “for the night.” but that strangely felt wrong.     He dips his fingers into your walls, and you cry out. Wrapping around his digits, sobbing, this wasn’t enough to satisfy your cravings.     “You want more?” he huskily said, a tone of playfulness still rampant.     “Yes! Please, just fuck me!” you croaked, already damn near about to cum from the teasing.     “That’s my girl.” he whispered under his breath, slipping off boxers you didn’t even realize were there in the first place.      He doesn’t give you a chance to see his full length, instead ramming inside of you. You inhale sharply at the sudden disruption.     The throbbing evaporated into thin air, and you’re desperately grabbing at the sheets to steady yourself. Sweaty and sticky skin slapping against each other echoed throughout the room, along with your moans and his grunts. You could feel him reaching heights that you would never be able to do with the dildos you had at your house, much less your fingers. One hand on your waist to steady your flailing body, the other, roughly groping your breast.    You were finding it hard to think, pleasure and euphoria filling your senses. Unknowingly, you wrap yourself around Gojo even harder then before.     “Fuck, baby, I can barely pull out.” he panted. “you’re too tight.”      You can’t even begin to respond, still deep in your state of pleasure, instead responding incoherently with a jumble of delicate moans and gasps in between.     “C-cum!”      “Hm? Repeat that princess?” he soothed.    You’re unable to respond again, instead you try to lift your head up, and Gojo feels himself throb again, watching your eyes flutter back.     It’s not until it’s too late, realizing a hot fluid flow down your holes. He pulls out, he himself ejaculating on your stomach.     Both muscles stretched taut, you both laid on the bedsheets, sweating and panting.     “Fuck, I haven’t had a girl like you in a while.” he says, turning his head to look at you. Strands of hair stuck to your forehead.     “R-Really?” he kissed your forehead, tipping your chin with his long fingers.     “Yes, really. I’m so lucky I spotted such a pretty little thing at a club.”      The sun was starting to rise, you note, and you realize just how perfect his body is with the new light.     A sudden warmth on your cheeks, you look down, still panting.     “Clubs aren’t my thing.” you said breathlessly.     “Fuck. It’s 5 AM” he says, eyes now glued to his phone, ruffling his white hair.     “I’ll go-”     “No, here, lets take a shower with each other, and then we sleep.”      “Okay.” you responded, hoping to not make conversation, still believing that he was a celebrity.     He handed you his phone, rubbing the back of his neck.     “Can I get your number?”     “...Why?” you questioned.     “...To call you back again, duh.” he teases, rubbing your head.      No way, he wanted you back at his house?      You?    Not wanting to fuck up your chances, you nod, something was growing inside of you, and you weren’t quite sure what it was, but you knew he made you feel special.    

[dirk-has-rabies]

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on)  and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes.  gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are  (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao,  or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella)  some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do.  we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert)  this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing.  allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD  are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it)  has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance”  SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

 in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a  certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed  by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate)  since a lot of people roll their eyes at that  and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly.  Autigender  is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.