#im stuck and everyone elses world keeps turning and everyone is so occupied with their own shit and

[mintgreen-homewrecker]

dont mind the vent in the tags

[blorbosondeck]

fic rec masterlist

canon divergent/finale fix its

Anamnesis

THIS! FIC! this fic lives in my head rent FREE it is so good and it makes so much sense in the narrative that the shitty finale concocted, as to why they wouldn't mention cas or anyone else and its just. so good and they write chuck in the most villainous way that i love!!!

"Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be. Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19."

Sunset Sound: Stairway to Heaven by @adhdeancas

GOD FUCKING CHRIST this is so good and sweet and im such a sucker for team ups and reunions!!! its 3:30 am rn and i just finished it and i love it SO much it made me laugh a lot and the last few chapters i had the stupidest grin just plastered to my face

The Closer the Star, the Greater the Parallax by @rocksalts​

repressed bastard dean submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known and receives the rewards of being loved but only after some miscommunication i LOVE this i read it last night and it’s a fast favorite. my interests have overlapped and i am INTO it

“When Dean sits down to watch some bullcrap Discovery Channel episode with Cas, he doesn’t expect to actually learn anything. Except, with Cas explaining, he makes an effort to connect the dots.”

Don't We All Deserve To Be Happy?

VERY sweet and a VERY good pick me up. all around feel good fic!!! 

"Post-canon fix-it, divergent from 15x19 where Jack stays and Dean doesn't die and Cas comes back and everyone is happy. Take a shot every time I'm salty about the finale."

Keep Your Love Alive

okay. okay okay okay this may be my favorite finale fix it just because of how well reasoned it is. like this feels what should have happened i love it SO much

"Dean gets to spend eternity sharing beers with Bobby on the Roadhouse porch and riding around in his Baby with Sam. He’s at peace… or he feels like he should be. But a few things nag at him: Where is Cas, and everybody else Dean had been hoping to see in Heaven? Why does he feel like he’s stuck in a loop, reliving the same memories over and over again? And who are the strangers wearing Sam’s and Bobby’s faces?"

The GoldenRod Revisions by @aethylas​

this is one of the most well written things ive ever read. the script format DID make it feel more real and honestly? this is better writing than this show deserves. the finale that could have been ♥️

“A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.“

Ascend by @wanderingcas​ 

THEE finale fix it fic!!! written by the AMAZINGLY skilled and talented @wanderingcas !!! it’s 50k of angst and hurt/comfort and pure bliss

“Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?”

Things Happen (They Do, And They Do, And They Do) by THEE @sobsicles

i KNOW everyone has already recommended this and likely you’ve all already read it. but it has to go here bc REPRESSIOOOOOOOOON i LOVE this so much it is one of the most perfect things i’ve read. are you bisexual? did you have a kind of weird relationship with your best friend and not realize that how you felt about them wasn’t necessarily how other people felt about them and you were maybe a little bit in love with them but were too repressed to realize it? you’ll feel seen. maybe a little too seen

Closer (isn't close enough)

are you a sweet and sappy yet horny bastard? do you like cas exploding light bulbs? you will like this.

“the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him”

You and Your Husband

it is exTRMELY sweet!!! repression dean strikes again <3

"Five times Dean corrects someone about his relationship with Cas, and one time he realizes he doesn't need to."

Tall Grass

miscommunication and a slowburn! despite being written in 2017 and finished in 2018, it feels like a fix it. ft. plant obsessed cas <3 

Invictus

a LOVELY and short (relatively) finale fix it

“They saved the world. They're free. It's done.

Except it's not, and carrying on is the last thing any of them are thinking about.

They still have someone they need to save.”

Unchained Link

post finale- it’s a great case fic and i am compelled i want more!!!

"It's after the end of things. Life continues on while Dean is "livin it up" in heaven. But it's never that simple, is it? A freak occurrence sends Dean into another time stranded back on Earth. And he thought his hunting days were over. But, no worries. His knight in shining armor comes to the rescue. Hijinks, therefore, ensue."

fun and time unspecified

Ladies and Gentlemen, This is Love Potion No. 5

very funny and sweet! miscommunication at its finest ♥️

"Cas gets drenched with a mystery potion from the ‘love spell’ shelf and... Dean has a sneaking suspicion, angel or no— the spell may have taken effect. And Cas might be in love with Sam."

The Way We Were

Y'all. It is so good its a great mix of funny and serious- extremely fun to see dean as like a base bisexual

"Dean and Castiel pose as a couple to gain access to a gated community known as 'The Glen', a pleasant if secretive location that the boys believe might be linked to several dead bodies showing up over the years bearing signs of ritualistic sacrifice. All seems well until Dean's memory is affected from an incident during a solo exploration, leaving Dean convinced that their cover story is true. Castiel is left trying to resolve their case without taking advantage of an increasingly enthusiastic Dean"

While You Were Sleeping

this is basically just the movie but replacing sandra bullock with cas. this is my comfort movie and imo, one of the most perfect rom coms. the fic isn’t finished but i still have the tab open on my phone and i will straight up go back and re read it when i need a pick me up. 

aus/rewrites

The Harvelle Gospels: Offscript

i know everyone ever ( @jewishcharliebradbury ) has recommended this fic. and for good reason go fucking read it

“The Apocalypse is averted, the angels are in Heaven, and Jo is free from the threat of possession. Somehow it couldn't be farther from a happy ending.“

absolute riots

An Ineffably Profound Bond

i honestly would have put this in the finale fix it section! look. i know. i know you've been burned by crossover fics before. but this is Thee good omens/spn fic you want. its funny as hell and immensely satisfying. im weak for everyone working together tropes and that is this

"After Chuck sets 'The End' in motion, the remaining members of TFW make a miraculous escape. Not willing to waste any time, Castiel comes up with a plan to travel to one of the other worlds to try and get help from the angels there, but after a fight with Dean, it's the hunter who gets sent into an alternate universe,with seemingly no hope of return.

When a mysterious human with a heavenly weapon shows up in Aziraphale's shop, he and Crowley learn that their world is not the only one. Now it is up to them to decide whether or not they want to join forces with the human and help him save his world or simply find a way to send him home."

Somebody Up There Likes Me by @lafilleredige

cas is hit with a spell that turns his vessel into a woman, hijinks and sexuality crises ensue etc etc sam is a supportive and bitchy little brother and its all SO fucking funny and also. horny as hell i love it i love it i LOVE it

“’Dean doesn’t want to talk about your breasts, it’s making him uncomfortable because he hasn’t acknowledged the complex fluidity of human sexuality.’“

Stray Cat Strut

a long crack fic that IS one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and i can’t explain why. it’s so ooc but its so funny that i don’t care. if you need a laugh you gotta read this

"Sam and Cas are immediately in love with the adorable kitty they find outside the bunker door, and occupy their time planning how to convince Dean--who they believe is off sulking after a botched hunt--to let them keep their cat. Along the way, Dean learns to use a litter box and hears some confessions he maybe wasn’t supposed to hear, all while realizing just how much he loves Castiel.

Now all Dean has to do is convince Cas and Sam their new pet cat is actually him before they do something crazy--like neuter him!"

canon compliant or slight canon divergence

Give

by @doublestuffedimpala post season 7 episode 7, kind of ambiguous ending but truly a cas is happy to bleed for the winchesters fic

Punch Like Bones 

short, post 5x04 homoerotic moment that i wish we’d gotten

[and-they-were-crewmates]

Room For Three | Deleted Scenes

Hi friends! Have you read my fic Room For Three? If not, and you’re looking for Holden/Amos/Naomi fic, go check that out first, because it’s better than this.

The following are a few deleted scenes from Chapter 20. These scenes did not actually occur in the universe of the fic. They were deleted in part because they weren’t relevant to anything, so they added too much superfluous bulk to an already superfluous and bulky fic, and in part because I wasn’t very confident with my characterization of Camina’s family or the way I communicated their dialect. I do love the idea of giving Drummer some closure with Naomi, though I don’t think that Room For Three is the place to explore that concept. That being said, this was a fun little scene, so I’d like to share!

Very mildly NSFW text below. This is from a rated E fic, but is not explicitly sexual. CW recreational drug use (marijuana)

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” said Naomi into her hand terminal. The small window in the corner reflected her own image, alone in the room while Jim either finished up his therapy or got started on his way to lunch with Fred, and Amos journeyed to pick up food for the two of them. The larger window, the focus of her attention, showed Drummer’s full face and half of another woman’s, whose shoulder acted as a pillow for Camina’s tilted head. Her friend looked more at peace than Naomi had ever seen her. 

“Nah, we insist. Whole crew will be happy to meet The Naomi Nagata. Plus, your Earther boys obviously need a lesson in family. Double date.” 

“Is it still called a double date if there’s nine people at the table?” 

“Nonuple date, then. Come. Josep good cook, Bertold good advice, Oksana good to look at,” she said. The body next to her stuck out an elbow in playful defense, and a loving giggle filled the speaker. “Good in bed, too,” Camina added to appease her, and they both laughed together. 

“Alright, alright. I guess I’d rather get polyam lessons from you lot than from Jim’s eight parents.” 

“Soyá. One Holden is more than enough for me.” Naomi didn’t say it, but she agreed. The Holden family was a lot to handle. She knew there might be a discussion with them in her future, in which she and Amos would undoubtedly have to stand under their mild-mannered scrutiny and well-meant condescension, but she hoped to put it off as long as possible. 

“Be nice to him tonight,” Naomi implored,  Camina rolled her eyes. 

“To ta ge im, bosmang. I will try. No promises ‘bout Serge though. Discriminate, im does.”

“Ah, pashang fong, ‘Mina,” a man’s voice bellowed, the pejorative softened by his loving tone. His head appeared on Naomi’s device, upside down at the top of the frame. “Mi behave, promise.” They all three laughed together, a contagious sound that put a smile on Naomi’s face. 

Camina’s family was as affectionate as it was functional, and any jealousy was squandered as soon as it sprouted through open networks of communication. They didn’t all sleep in the same bed, or all have sex at the same time, or spend every waking hour together, the six of them, but they loved each other equally just the same. They didn’t all keep score of their ‘wins’ and ‘losses’— surely Michio didn’t feel left out if Oksana got milkshakes with Josep one day, and Drummer didn’t pout if Serge chose to shower with Bertold instead of her. They found a balance together, where everyone was included, even in the moments when they weren’t. They’d be good role models. 

“Alright, we’ll be there,” Naomi said, excitement written on her face. When the phone call was over, she turned her attention to the door. Amos was taking longer than anticipated. She supposed she’d have to find some way to occupy herself until he returned. 

***

Josep’s cooking was so spicy that it felt like a targeted attack. Holden was the only one who seemed to notice— which only furthered his suspicions that it was a deliberate poisoning— though he knew he was just wimpier than anyone else in the room. Otherwise, Holden, Naomi, and Amos were welcomed warmly into Drummer’s home like members of the family. 

They each had their own unique flavor of advice, ranging from categorically unhelpful to actually something to think about, spoken in different degrees of broken English or part-English part-Belter. Holden appreciated the great effort they went to to be understood by him. They probably had very little use for pure English in their day-to-day lives, and the grammar of Lang Belta was very different, more efficient. It made some of their translations a little hard for Holden to process, but if they could make the effort, so could he. 

“Da pashang gut?” Serge asked. In the time it took Holden to decide if he was comfortable answering whether they had good sex, Amos and Naomi had already given their yesses. “Gut. The rest figure itself out.” 

“That’s terrible advice,” interjected Michio. 

“Work for me an’ Josep this morning,” he shrugged. “Take too long in shower. Mi angry. Join him in shower, mi na so angry.” Michio rolled her eyes. 

“It’s not about sex,” she said. “You can have good sex and no love for each other.”

“Like in Camina dream about Holden,” Serge contributed. Holden didn’t know what to do with that information. Naomi seemed to like it. 

“I’ve had that dream,” Amos added. Holden elbowed him. 

“Sure, like that,” dismissed Michio. “It’s not about sex; it’s about trust. You trust your family will never hurt you on purpose?” she asked. The three of them nodded. “You forgive your family when they make a mistake?” she asked. They nodded. “Then you can forgive your family for anything.” That was pretty solid advice, but nothing Holden didn’t already know. They were good at forgiving each other. Had practice. 

“How do you keep everything…” Holden searched for the word, “...equal?”

“Equal? Who cares equal?” replied Bertold. “Not equal. Camina in charge. Like Naomi for you.”

“Naomi’s not—” Holden said, then backed down. It was true enough. 

“Ya. No need for equal.” 

“Is there ever jealousy? Like, if you spend more time with one person than another.” A couple of them, including Amos, looked at him like that was the stupidest question ever asked.

“That’s baby shit, kopeng,” Bertold said. “Need comfort, ask Oksana. Need tough love, ask Camina. Need fix problem, ask Michio. Need laugh, ask Josep. Need blow job, ask Serge.” 

“Hey,” Serge defended. “I’m funny, too.” 

“Ya, baby,” Bertold consoled. “I just simplify for explain. Different for others, or depend on the day. Point is, na equal. Need comfort four time, tough love one, then go Oksana four time, Camina one. ‘Mina no cry ‘bout it. Because adult. Knows mi love im the same.” Drummer smiled at him. Holden had never seen Drummer smile as bright or as often as he had that night. “End of day, eat dinner as family, go bed happy.” 

“Huh,” said Holden. “That… makes a lot of sense, thank you.”

“Try not to think so hard, Jimmy,” said Drummer. “Have some cake. Not so spicy.”

“Gee, thanks.”

***

The third or fourth time it was passed to her, Naomi took another long, luxurious puff off of Drummer’s vaporizer. She tried to pass it behind her to Jim (whose lap she didn’t think she’d been sitting in when Camina first pulled out the device) but he declined as always. Naomi presumed the captain was afraid of what slutty business he might get up to under the influence of high-grade synthetic cannabis in a room full of incredibly hot people. She couldn’t blame him, but it wouldn’t stop her from having a good time. Amos also clearly had no such reservations. 

“So,” he said between two smaller puffs (Earthers with their puff, puff, pass bullshit), “what’s the sex like?” 

“Amos, you can’t just ask people that,” Jim scolded. In rebuttal, Amos took his second puff and blew it in Jim’s face. Soberly, Naomi might’ve been on Jim’s side of that argument, but she was high and curious. Amos looked at Serge, who seemed the most likely to answer the question rather than flip him off. 

“All six of you screw together, or is it a Noah’s Ark kinda deal?” Amos asked. Serge shrugged. 

“Sometimes all six, sometimes three, sometimes two,” he said. 

“Maybe sometimes nine,” added Josep lewdly, eyeing the three guests. Amos smiled salaciously, while scattered laughter filled the room. Camina cleared her throat and shook her head. 

“What did I say?” she chided. 

“Dinner, not orgy,” Josep said. 

“Don’t see why it can’t be both,” said Amos. Jim elbowed him. 

As her Earther lovers mingled with her Belter friends, new and old, Naomi felt a sense of wholeness. Her worlds were colliding— this time in a harmonious way, not an explosive one. She didn’t know if it was the THC in her lungs or the love in her life, but she was on top of the world. 

Michio was teaching Amos and Jim an old Belter card game when Naomi was overcome with a powerful urge to speak privately with Camina. Several faces quirked suggestively as she pulled her friend from the mass of cuddling bodies on the living room floor. Apparently Amos wasn’t the only one with preconceived notions about their friendship. She ignored them and guided Camina into the next room, which only happened to be the bedroom. 

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy, Camina,” she said once they were in another room. Camina hummed and nodded, the corners of her mouth quirking up into a small smile. The weed seemed to unburden her considerably, though a deeper happiness radiated from her even before they’d smoked. Her hair was down, and it felt to Naomi like a metaphor. 

“Don’t think I ever have been,” she said. Naomi took her hand and squeezed it, beaming with pride. Camina’s expression soured almost imperceptibly; her smile was still present, though it spoke of an old, tired sadness, or perhaps just a more reluctant version of joy. “Spent a long time wanting something I could not have.” She looked Naomi up and down, and the message was heard loud and clear. That bitter-sweet smile. The harbinger of closure. 

“Ended up with something better, no?” 

“Think so,” Camina answered. Her eyes widened as she asked, and there was a youthfulness in her face that Naomi hadn’t seen before, like a child seeking approval. Naomi didn’t think Camina needed her approval, but she gave it readily. 

“I know so. Oksana looks at you like you painted the stars in the sky. You deserve that.” 

“Same way Jimmy looks at you.”  

“Same way Amos looks at my boobs,” Naomi countered. They both laughed. “You deserve to be happy, Camina Drummer. Are you?” 

“Ya, Naomi Nagata. Have everything I ever wanted, and more. Could not have imagined having something this good until it happened.”  

“I know what you mean,” Naomi said wistfully, thinking of Amos and Jim. 

“You happy, too?” Camina asked. 

“Ya,” answered Naomi, easily and honestly. Have everything I ever wanted, and more. “Mi xush.” Naomi pressed her forehead to Camina’s, and they shared their happiness together for a moment. 

“Gut.” 

“So... what’s this dream you had about Jim?” 

“Oh hush.” 

***

“You think they’re fooling around?” Amos asked the group of people whose names he didn’t know. Holden elbowed him for the third time that night. “Bug, at some point, you’re gonna have to realize jabbing me in the ribs ain’t gonna stop me from sayin’ shit.” 

“What will?” Holden asked. Amos didn’t answer, just pointed his eyes down at Holden’s crotch, and figured he got the message when he received yet another nudge to his side. He laughed,  took his turn in the card game, and hit the vape when it came around again. 

“Could I ask you something, big man?” asked the guy with the triangle tattoos beside his eyes. Amos shrugged his permission. The guy took a second to say anything else, like he was trying to word his question. He whispered something to the man at his side. 

“Ah,” the second man said, “wants to know if you have Earther cock.” Amos didn’t know what that meant. “You know, like…” he gave an inscrutable gesture, like jerking off, but not quite. “No skin.” 

“Josep,” came a scolding female voice. Amos didn’t mind. 

“Oh. Yeah, I’m circumcised.” The two men, one of whom must’ve been Josep, not that Amos would retain that information, seemed fascinated by that. He was about to ask if they wanted to see it when Naomi and her girlfriend came back. Another time, then. 

[wwhitewwolff]

Good morning

Bucky Barnes X Reader

Warnings: cheating, insecurities, lies, angst, misleading storyline?? This one is long

Summary: when Bucky stops texting his long distance girlfriend good mornings each morning she gets suspicious, going back to America to visit him she's in for a surprise she had never expected.

A/N: guess who's writing again? No one because no one guessed because like 3 people will read this and it will be dead forever *shrug* I feel like this storyline is really misleading so, sorry? Also AOS is a main theme for this but if you don't watch the show it really doesn't matter

This is Bobbie btw for anyone who wants to know what she looks like for this

It had been over a year since you had seen your boyfriend, well properly seen your boyfriend, moving back to England was a hard decision for you but you knew it was the best one, you knew that taking the promotion was the best thing you could do but your mind was still constantly plagued with insecurities and worries, but you knew Bucky wasn't like that, he could never? Could he?

It had started about 3 months ago, his usually cheerful morning texts which never failed to bring a smile to your face had stopped, almost ceased to exist, from his constant hey, baby! How's my gorgeous girl? To his babyyy! Wake uupp! It's been too long! Facetime me when you're free my pretty doll. his morning texts had fallen to a simple hey or I'm busy we'll talk later and the main fact he never bothered to text first anymore had caused your usual insecurities to skyrocket, why did he never have time to send you a simple hello anymore? Or more importantly who meant he didn't have the time?

Your phone buzzed as you say in bed, mind plagued by thoughts, you immediately shot up, hopefully Bucky had gone back to usual? Opening your phone you had found a simple text from your boss Phil 'meet me in the headquarters at 10', why was Phil in England? More importantly why did he need to see you?

Standing up you prepared yourself for the day to come.

"Hey y/n/n!" Your good friend and teammate Bobbi chirped as she brought you your regular morning drink

"mornin' Bob" you slurred out as you wrapped your coat around your frame tightly, shivering as you took in the very open windows.

"someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Argh! No! Stop throwing things at me!" Hunter shrieked as Bobbi began throwing pillows at him.

"Wow, adorable couple" you mumbled as you took in the pair, after getting remarried the pair had fallen deeply in love once again, you wished you could have that but unfortunately being the director of S.A.B, shield associations Britain you barely had the time to speak to Bucky, yet alone the time to break up with him or move on, whereas normal couples may have fallen apart you were way to busy to even think about dating or parties or even making new friends, you stuck to your own lane.

"hunter! Barbra!" A familiar, fatherly voice boomed as the familiar figure of Phil Coulson stepped into the office, taking in the pair he hadn't seen since Russia "I thought you two were never coming back to shield?" He grinned happily

"we could never leave our dear y/n alone in a country! She's so far into work she hasn't even been shopping yet!" Bobbie exasperated "and please, Phil! Dont call me Barbra! Barbra is far worse than any possible nickname you could give me!" The blonde grinned cheekily

"Bobbie, stop being so dramatic, we went shopping last month!" You shook your head playfully as you took a seat at your desk, gesturing for Phil to sit opposite you beside Hunter -who had perched himself happily onto one of the plush leather chairs-

"I need you to come back to New York for a while" Phil stated softly

"what? Really? Ohmygosh nofreakingway!" You shrieked happily

"English, y/n/n!" Hunter playfully chided, wagging a finger at you as you practically glowed, you had missed your friends and especially Bucky.

"when?" You asked excitedly

"next month, I'm sending agent Piper to hold things down till you get back here" Phil smiled at the young woman, barely reached her late 20's and still so experienced yet full of life. A small smile graced his lips as he watched the h/c girl jump up and start rambling.

• time skipy•

The buzz of the quinjet filled your ears as you stepped off, e/c orbs wandered as you took in the familiar tower in which your boyfriend and some of your closest friends lived, sighing deeply you grabbed Bobbi's hand and quickly guided her to the doors

"nervous?" She asks over the low rumble of the quinjet ascending back into the air and back to the main s.h.i.e.l.d base. Turning your head to face Bobbi you opened your mouth to deny but quickly remembered how useless it would be- you knew the spy since s.h.i.e.l.d academy! She knows you better than you do and vice versa

"I don't know why, b! I mean I'm going to see some of my best friends AND my boyfriend!' you blurted out exasperated, anyone walking past might have looked at you like you're crazy but Barbara Morse was your best friend in the entire world and she had seen much worse than you screaming out into the rough winds.

"y/f/n" she stopped walking abruptly piping your linked arms backwards with her "has Bucky been acting weird with you?" She asked inquisitively, shrugging you immediately regretted not speaking to her about Bucky before, she would have helped. "Oh y/n/n; you didn't you tell me? No wonder you're so skitterish today! Whatever it is I'm sure it's nothing too big, Bucky loves you and I can even tell that without meeting the man! He's probably on a mission or something, he IS an avenger" Bobbi calmly rubbed your back as she spoke, guiding your hand to the identification scanners.

"thanks Bob, you always know how to make me feel so much better. I love you" you sighed dreamily, aiming to annoy the woman "oh you cow! Stop being so corny!" The blonde laughed aloud and she lightly smacked your hand, walking into the escalators you began calming your nerves, you felt like a giddy teenager going to her first date. And you hated it. The fact that a few stupid texts had lead you into this trivial paranoid stage had fully set into your mind. It was Bucky for god's sake! James Buchanan Barnes, the same James who stumbled over his words when asking you out, the same bucky who arrived an hour early to pick you up for said date and almost died when he realised, the same Mr Barnes who quit the avengers (although for 10 minutes) to be with you. He was your Bucky and you don't need texts to know that.

As the elevator doors pinged open you and Bobbie stepped out and into the large lounge which occupied the avengers.

Looking up Steve's mouth gaped open before jumping up and accidentally flipping the table over as he ran towards you "Y/N/N! YOU'RE HERE OH MY! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG! I MISSED YOU!! AND IM SO SORRY ABOUT HOW HE-" Steve blabbered out as he squeezed hugged you tightly, barley taking in anything he was saying you were quick to end his ramblings

"'tevie! I've missed you and all but shhhh inside voices remember" you laughed as the soldier nodded looking like a lost puppy

"sorry y/n/n but I've missed my best friend so-" this was when Bobbie felt to make her presence known "hold up! Wait a minute! If anyone is y/f/n's best friend; it's ME. So sit down mate, she's mine" bobbie stated proudly, reminding you of your (then) puppy when meeting Bucky

Shaking your head you introduced Bobbie and greeted everyone else, sitting down inbetween Pietro and Wanda you looked around the room, the obvious man who wasn't in the room still plagued your mind "hey,guys where Bucky?" You asked with a small smile, the avengers a looked at you as if you'd grown 2 heads "what? Can't I see my boyfriend?" You laughed, greeted with silence you stood up "I check I'll check his room then?" You asked wearily before all but sprinting our the room, barely noticing how the room erupted and bob and Steve had run after you.

The elevator door closed as soon as you stepped inside, you were so confused, why was everyone so shocked? Especially when you called him your boyfriend? And Steve looked mortified! Taking a deep breath you stepped out and walked to your "boyfriends" door

"hmm yes buck!" A feminine voice sighed from the room as you neared it, stopping about a step away from the door you could almost feel the tears gathering in your e/c orbs, pushing them away you stopped to listen...not a sound came out, your mind must have been playing tricks surely!

Gulping a big breath of air you stepped forwards and opened the door quickly "Bucky! Surprise! I'm- Oh my god" your playful tone turned quiet and lifeless and you took in the scene Infront of you, bucky laying almost naked ontop of a scantily clad Natasha

•

Steve knew something was wrong the moment you asked for Bucky, why would she ask where Bucky is? Bucky had told the team he broke up with her to date Natasha MONTHS ago, then y/n called him her boyfriend and the entire team was stunned as it dawned onto steve.

Bucky didn't break up with his girlfriend, he was cheating on her with Natasha whilst the girl was off being a good person in England.

Steve quickly ran after his friend, Bobbie following shortly after as they attempted to keep up with the h/c girl, when the elevator doors closed quickly the man knew he was far too late.

"Rogers? Care to explain?!" Morse snapped as she stared up at the giant of a man

"buck...no" too in shock to believe Bucky, HIS Bucky would do this, words Jumbled and the man leaned against the wall awaiting the lift to come

"spit it out Rogers! If something is wrong with my best friend I need to know!" Barbara placed a hand onto the blondes arm, staring into his eyes as she searched for answers

"Bucky said they broke up, he's been seeing natasha since October"

•

Bucky knew he'd messed up, quickly scrambling off of natasha and throwing the blanket over her barely clothes body the ex assassin stared up at his girlfriend...well ex now he guessed

"you... little...I can't even.." you gasped out as you stepped back into the hallway

"y/n! Baby no!" He cried running after you

"OH FUCK OFF BARNES" your calm yet betrayed tone turned Malicious as you turned too him in a rage and screamed, the other avengers at this point had caught up and we're watching shocked, they had seen your angry side of the field or in life or death situations (or scariest of all, during monopoly) but never had you ever screamed or raised your voice at any of them and here you were fists clenched and body shaking as you stated at the man Infront of you.

"YOU ARE HONESTLY THE MOST EVIL MAN I'VE EVER MET! WHILST IM OUT THERE WORKING SO HARD FOR SHIELD YOURE WHORING AROUND WITH THAT SLAG?!" You screamed, natahsa at this point had stepped out and stared at you in shock

"Hey! You want a punch, bitch?!"

"she's not a slag!" The pair yelled at the same time, this just fueled your rage.

"OH FUCK OF! DON'T KID ANY OF US NATASHA YOU SLEEP YPUR WAY THROUGH LIFE AND YOU BARNES IM SURPRISED YOU EVEN GOT NATASHA SEEING AS YOURE SO FUCKED UP I'M EVEN SURPRISED YOU GOT ME!" you had no idea where this was coming from but rage and pain from all these few months had come crashing down on you

Feeling a familiar and protective arm wrap around your shoulders you expected the figure to pull you away, or hug you, or calm you but no- Barbra Mose does NOT tolerate betrayal and most certainly not when it's directed at her best friend

"you're surprised? Babes, the whore has probably slept around with half the world, i mean the cheap cunt probably had to flash her saggy boobs and that bitch ran to her with open arms" Bobbie stated, her voice strong and insulting yet everyone without even knowing this woman could tell that she was about to commit a murder.

"let's go, hun" bobbie stated, your energy gone as you pushed through the team behind you, however you stopped and turned to see that Bucky and natasha, although looking guitly had traveled to eachother, you turned back to face them and took menacing steps towards them, as soon as you were in range of the pair you cocked your fist back and bought it to the throat of your boy- your ex.

"bye Barnes, rot in hell with this demon of a woman"

And with that you called Phil, you wanted to disconnect the avengers from the S.A.B and told him that you would be extending your trip; it was time to step up as director, you were here now and your job was to make sure Sheild is at the top, and no sex obsessed dick of an ex is gonna break you.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Okay it's so bad I know but the first parts were in my drafts for so long and I need to start writing again, I accidentally deleted my Steve imagine AND the first Bucky imagine so I'm trying to get those back but I'm also trying to actually right again. No one's gonna read this I know but it was a fun idea I had that strayed far, plus as long as I like my writing I'll keep doing it and maybe I'll do a part 2? Idk

[dumners]

my tes ocs

also known as, i focus way too much on the messy dunmer and sadly no one else

The Seryiils (+the Gimayns)

Just the most dramatic family in Tamriel

oh my god there’s so much for Llirala im so sorry

Indrasi S (nerevarine) 

Dunmer - Any pronouns (tho i’ll use they)

Actual reincarnation of Nerevar, and their repressed memories affect their life in ways they don’t realize until later. Born and raised in the Imperial City. Raised in an orphanage after being abandoned there by unknown parents. Grew up to be an alchemist in the city and ran the store The Main Ingredient. Met Raldis when he delivered ingredients, they grew closer and got married, and Indrasi took his last name bcuz they didn’t have one. The two have a daughter, Llirala. Raldis dies in a bandit raid when Llirala is 6, and afterwards, Indrasi becomes distant bcuz they are working to provide for Llirala. Llirala grows up making bad decisions in an attempt to get Indrasi to pay attention to her, which eventually leaves Llirala abandoning her newborn son, Calden, with Indrasi. They raise Calden, but rarely sees Llirala during that time. Eventually, they take on an apprentice at The Main Ingredient, Ogier Georick (the actual in-game owner). Calden grows up and goes out on his own. Llirala comes back after a lotta of her own nonsense. She ends up framing Indrasi for murder, which gets them noticed by Uriel Septim VII and sent to Morrowind. 

They really only do the Main Quest in Morrowind and maybe a few side quests, but no faction quests. They slowly get their Nerevar memories back during the course of the Main Quest. They then do the Tribunal and Bloodmoon dlcs in that order. During the Tribunal dlc they basically just ignore Helseth, and during the Bloodmoon dlc they side with the Skaal. They help build Raven Rock, and then just kinda never leave. They try to go through everything with as little death as possible. By 4E 201, they are still on Solstheim, drifting in and out of Raven Rock, hanging out with the Skaal, and mooching off of Neloth.

Raldis S

Dunmer - He/Him

Pretty chill dude, kinda unfortunate that he strongly resembles Voryn Dagoth, but what can you do. Born and raised in Gnisis. Later joined a Hlaalu trading company and made deliveries mainly to Cyrodiil. Met Indrasi on one of those deliveries. They became closer, eventually married, and had Llirala. He dies in a bandit raid when Llirala is 6.

Llirala S (hok)

Dunmer - She/Her (later Daedra - Any)

Ah, my favorite shithead. Born and raised in the Imperial City. Born to Indrasi and Raldis Seryiil. Raldis died when she was only 6, which caused Indrasi to throw themself into their work so they could support Llirala. Llirala grows up to be a self-destructive mess who keeps making bad decisions in an attempt to get Indrasi to pay attention to her, and this turns into her just craving any kind of attention from anyone. She had a fling with a friend that ended in her son, Calden, who she abandoned with Indrasi. She then proceeded to travel around Cyrodiil doing favors for basically every single Daedric Prince. She joined the Arena and killed her way to the top, loving every second of the validation from the crowd. Now with the idea that “murder is okay actually” in her head, she stabbed a man who catcalled her, and proceeded to frame Indrasi for the murder, killing two birds with one knife. This got her noticed by the Dark Brotherhood. She loved her time in the Brotherhood and loved her Family, and she killed them all when ordered to. This messed her up pretty badly, but she just went “if I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.” She managed to convince herself that she was fine bcuz she still had Shadowmere and Lucien. But then Lucien died, and Llirala killed Mathieu but it was too late bcuz everyone was still dead. Llirala basically had an epiphany like “oh, maybe killing is bad,” and she abandoned the Dark Brotherhood leaving it to fall into ruin. She joined the Thieves Guild and found out that she kinda liked helping people, but by the end she didn’t want to be the Grey Fox, so she gave the job to Armand Christophe. After that she bought shoes from the Copious Coinpurse and got arrested for grave-robbing.

Then the Main Quest happened, Llirala made some good friends in Martin and Baurus, and she constantly mocked Jauffre. I’m cliche and like angst so Llirala and Martin liked each other but didn’t say anything about it until right before Martin sacrificed himself, he kissed her. Yay cliche angst! When Dagon was breaking down the Temple roof, Llirala pushed Martin out of the way of falling rubble, but it ended up falling on her instead, breaking her leg and pinning her under it. Martin sacrificed himself, and Llirala was stuck under the rubble until someone showed up. Baurus helped get her out, and Jeelius healed her leg, but she wouldn’t be able to fight the way she used to, no more sneak. Llirala spent two depressed weeks in the Imperial Palace, before being presented with the Imperial Dragon Armor. She basically snapped and ran away again, leaving behind everything that could identify her as a the HoK. 

She threw herself back into adventuring in the hopes of getting herself killed. She did the KotN, but didn’t find any peace with the Nine, and left when that was over. Immediately after being resurrected, she left and went straight to Bravil, where she heard rumors about a door out in the Bay that no one came back from the same, if at all. Before leaving, she spoke to the Night Mother who called her out on constantly abandoning everything, and berated her for still having Shadowmere and the Blade of Woe despite leaving the Brotherhood. So before Llirala left for the door, she said goodbye to her oldest companion and sent her back to the Brotherhood with her Blade of Woe. 

In the Isles, Llirala fit in, but she kept refusing to acknowledge that. She killed the Gatekeeper despite it not attacking her, and she wielded a perfect order sword for the majority of it. She tended to pick Dementia when she had to make a choice bcuz she was too depressed to deal with the brightness of Mania. Over the course of the questline, she began to really love the residents of the Isles and by the time Sheogorath turned into Jyggalag, she refused to abandon the Isles bcuz she didn’t want everyone there to die. In the fight with the Tree Clone, her order sword shatters, so after that she wields a madness sword. She became Sheogorath with the thought that it wasn’t going to be permanent, so when Jyggalag disappears she’s left standing there like.

Calden S

Dunmer(+Altmer) - He/Him

Born from a fling between Llirala and one of her friends. Raised by Indrasi in the Imperial City. Practiced destruction magic mainly. Tried to join the Arcane University many times, but was always rejected. Later traveled to Skyrim to study at the College of Winterhold (pre-Collapse). Met his future wife, Nephelle, there. Great Collapse happened. Him and Nephelle have Viri, but Nephelle dies in childbirth (bcuz i need her gone and im lazy lol). Calden loses faith in his ability to raise Viri, and when she starts speaking a strange language (dovahzul) as a baby, Calden freaks out. He asks around, is pointed toward the Greybeards, and leaves baby Viri with them due to a lack of Indrasi to foist the kid onto. 

Calden just kinda fucks off after that, but if tes vi takes place within 100 years of tes v, then he’ll be the protag if it works.

Viri (ldb)

Dunmer - She/Her

Raised by the Greybeards. Grew up only being called Dragonborn, so she had to name herself. Got the name Viri from Akaviri. When she was 2, young (like 8) Ulfric arrived to be trained, so Viri grew up with him as an older brother*. Most of Viri’s childhood was spent training her Thu’um, and reading the books available. She became fascinated with magic and practiced what she could by herself. She had a strained relationship with the Greybeards, but was very close with Paarthurnax. When the Great War started, Ulfric left, and Viri tried to go with him, but she was like 12 so she couldn’t. Later, she ran away from High Hrothgar at 17, but the war had already ended. She spent some time in Ivarstead before going up to the College of Winterhold to study magic. During her time at the College, the whole Eye of Magnus business happened, but Mirabelle survived it. After a while, she tries to leave Skyrim to explore the rest of Tamriel, but she walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there. She does the Main Quest up until the point that most people break off, bcuz she does not want to go back to the Greybeards just yet. She does the Thieves Guild, becomes the Guildmaster and returns it to its former glory. She does the Dark Brotherhood bcuz she is trying to find the familial love she never had with the Greybeards, but she just ends up being a murderer with a weird ghost friend and a demon horse. Finally finishes the Main Quest, does not touch the Civil War. And through all those questlines she completes all the Daedric Quests for one reason or another. Then she does Dawnguard, sides with the Dawnguard, gets a vampire gf, and then that vampire gf leaves to see the world, but promises to return**. Then Viri goes to Solstheim. There she meets Indrasi and manages to convince them to help her rescue Miraak, bcuz she is sick and tired of playing into the hands of the Daedric Princes, and saving Miraak would be an excellent “fuck you” to Hermaeus Mora.

*i don’t like ulfric at all, but this creates an interesting dynamic.

**Serana just needs to figure out who she is in the Fourth Era away from Viri, bcuz she doesn’t want to end up constructing her whole life around her.

Sethesi (Seth) G (kinda silly* vestige)

Dunmer - She/Her

Seth is baby and I love her so much. I made her 15 bcuz I wanted to make a shonen protag, but I also made her a mage, so she’s also a magical girl, but I also made her a necromancer, so she’s a dark magical girl. She was born and raised in the Worm Cult with her older brother, Llondryn. She had a knack for necromancy, and never really saw a problem with it bcuz she was not immune to propaganda. Llondryn managed to convince her to leave the Cult with him, but on the way out, Llondryn tried to sacrifice himself to save just her, but she didn’t realize that was happening so she ended up saving Llondryn instead. The Cultists found her, and she ended up being sacrificed to Molag Bal as an example of what happens to traitors. Escapes Coldharbour, but ends up on the Daggerfall Covenant questline bcuz I think that one fits the Main Quest best. Seth spends most of the Main Quest hiding her necromancer origins and trying to pass herself off as a templar, but finally snaps during the fight with Mannimarco and reveals her true power. She also does the Fighters and Mages Guild quests during the Main Quest, but she’s much more fond of the Mages Guild. Basically everyone who interacts with Seth adopts her as a younger sister/daughter/niece bcuz she is baby. She does quests pretty normally, and always tries to save as many lives as possible. At some point she becomes a vampire as a “fuck you” to meridia, but I’m still considering when. She also abandons her morals after that and joins the Dark Brotherhood bcuz I really need her to do that questline*. I’m not actually done with everything in eso yet, so Seth’s progression might change.

Unless something happens to contradict this in eso, after eso, Seth just wanders around Tamriel, occasionally checking in on how the world is doing.

*I say kinda silly bcuz in the spirit of mmos I gave Seth a travelling party. However, that party is Indrasi, Llirala, and Viri after their games. Yeah, that’s kinda op but all of them are hiding their true abilities, and Llirala is just not at full power bcuz of the original sheo still being around. I’m doing this bcuz it is so funny to me, especially bcuz of how many references to those games there are. The reason they are there is bcuz Viri pulled some time travel bullshit. 

Llondryn G

He/Him

Born and raised in Worm Cult with younger sister, Sethesi. Never showed much aptitude for necromancy, which made him expendable. When people started getting executed, he convinced Sethesi to try to escape. While trying to escape, Sethesi sacrificed herself to let him escape. 

I don’t know what he does later, but he eventually has kids and the family tree eventually leads to Indrasi.

Unrelated - i dont have much on them :(

Korabi

Khajiit - They/Them

Mage. Travel partners with Andenyerinwe (the Oblivion Duo). Does the Oblivion Mages Guild quests.

Andenyerinwe (Andy)

Altmer - She/Her

Goes by Andy. Battle-ax wielding, heavy-armor wearing warrior. Travel partners with Korabi (the Oblivion Duo). Does the Oblivion Fighters Guild quests.

Laurri (blades hero)

Khajiit - She/Her

Uuuuhhhh....... idk..... she’s dating Saashi?? 

Haj-xo (serious ep vestige)

Argonian - She/Her

Shadowscale. I think it’s funny if she dates Naryu bcuz it’s like assassin romeo and juliet. Also that means Veya gets two murder moms.

Nhaz (serious dc vestige)

Redguard - They/Them

I need more on them. 

Mizar (serious ad vestige)

Khajiit - He/Him

I need more on him. But he is trans. I’m also not done with the Aldmeri Dominion quests yet.

[imladris-soldier]

Lashes (pt 14)

Bill Williamson is a racist asshole. Everyone knows it. They just punch him and go on about their day. When a Lakota woman joins the gang, everyone expects things to go on as normal, slurs and all, and for a time, it does. But her curiosity gets the better of her, and she finds that hatred is something learned - which means it can be unlearned, if given time, care, and patience. And she has plenty of those… the first two, anyway.

Bill Williamson x OC

The caravan rattled out of Clemens Point, leaving the land slightly scarred behind it. It seemed that no matter where the Van Der Linde gang settled they left a mark, good or bad.

Star sat with Bill on the wagon he was driving, keeping an eye on all the horses that weren't being ridden. They mostly filed along, now unfortunately accustomed to this shifting camp ordeal. Once she was satisfied that they were alright, she settled next to her companion and allowed her eyes to drift over the country. The farther they went, the wetter everything became. The air stuck to her skin and felt heavy in her lungs. Her clothes hung in a vaguely damp manner off her body. Things squished and reeked in ways she had never known. Where in the world was Dutch taking them?

“You seem quiet,” Bill murmured, glancing over at her.

There was a hint of concern in his voice that she couldn't ignore, and it struck her that maybe there was some lingering tension from the night of the attack on the Braithwaites. He'd been considerate enough not to ask her directly what had happened, and she had appreciated it. However, she would have to tell him sooner or later.

“If you want to ask something, just ask me.”

He blushed slightly at having been called out so easily, but he shrugged it off. “Just been worried is all. What happened with the Braithwaites... seemed to take a lot outta ya.”

He was still dancing around the question, but it felt like he was protecting her from it. He wanted to know, but he didn't want to cause her the pain of telling him. It equal parts frustrated and warmed her, though she couldn't put a finger on her frustration. So, she let it out in a heavy sigh.

“It did. I was forced to remember things that I had carefully hidden away, and those memories did not resurface kindly.”

Bill nodded a bit, eyes on the road in front of them. “Been there.”

“I... imagine you have.” She had probably caused one or two of those events just by appearing in his life. “It's not a nice story. And... I'll tell it to you sometime. Just... not now.”

“Alright,” he conceded easily, no hint of disappointment in his voice. “I got a story or two you ain't heard neither, so...” He shrugged, glancing over at her. “I guess... well... guess we'll both just take our time. We got plenty of it.”

The frustration melted away as she filled with fondness. “I hope so,” she replied softly.

As the caravan rolled through the South, heading ever farther in the opposite direction of that they had hoped for, the mood felt... mixed. Some of the others seemed to have found hope to hold on to, but Star herself felt very apprehensive, so she picked up more on those who mirrored her sentiments. John, who had returned to guide them to Shady Belle, and Abigail were understandably worried, though they seemed to be avoiding each other. Micah was grumpier than usual, though he professed undying faith in Dutch's decisions. Hosea kept up his smile for the gang, but when he thought no one was looking, his gaze drifted to the countryside and became wistful. Things felt... different.

The twists and turns of the road carried the gang into swampland. New animal noises began to crop up that Star had never heard before in her life, and it put her on edge. This entire land was nothing but threat. She had already learned to dislike the South in general, but this part? It was repulsive.

It took the better part of the day to reach Shady Belle, and Star was appalled to find that the house was of a similar make to the Braithwaite mansion, though it had seen significantly better days. It was surrounded on three sides by swamp, and there were multiple battlements left from the previous occupiers.

While the wagons rolled in, Arthur emerged from the house with a wave. “Welcome home, all of ya, to my humble abode! We got fine livin', if you ignore the corpses and the alligators. A real paradise.”

Dutch jumped down from The Count, spinning with a grin. “I love it! Ms. Grimshaw, Mr. Pearson, would you kindly work your magic?”

The wagons fanned out across the yard to make space for each other as they organized the camp into something livable. Star squeezed Bill's shoulder before jumping down from the still moving wagon to see to the horses. As she made her way to the nervous animals, she saw Dutch and Arthur mounting back up.

“Dutch?” Molly called, running to catch up.

“Yes?”

“Could I have a word with ye?”

“Not now,” Dutch replied dismissively.

He and Arthur rode off, leaving a dejected Molly in her place. Star stood with her hand on Old Boy's neck, watching as the Irish woman's shoulders slumped and she turned to go back to the house. While it was true that Star had never been particularly fond of Miss O'Shea, she couldn't help but feel for the woman.

“He's just stressed, Molly,” she called.

Molly's red hair bounced as she turned, surprised at having been spoken to. Star expected her not to respond and move on, but she made her way awkwardly between the horses to stand with Star. “I dunno. He hardly speaks a word to me. Been this way for a while now.”

“Well... he's been stressed for a while now. After everything this gang has been through, can you blame him?”

“I just wish he'd talk to me. I... I really love 'im, and I wanna help 'im, but...” She shrugged helplessly. “How do you do it?”

That caught Star off guard. “Do what?”

“Get Bill to talk to ye. I seen you two 'round camp. Yer always talkin' and doin' stuff together. He's got a lot better since 'e met you. Nicer. Quieter.”

Star ran her fingernails through Old Boy's coat, considering the question. She didn't really think she'd done anything to get Bill to talk to her. Except maybe listen. He had a lot to say, but no one ever listened to him. Once she did, and he was convinced that she wasn't making fun of him, he just... talked.

“I don't know, Molly. We just... he trusts me, is all. Knows I'm not going to use his words against him, like everyone else seems to.”

The woman's freckled face twisted into an expression of despair. “Why doesn't Dutch trust me?! I've been by his side through all'a this. He should trust me!”

With that, Molly stormed off, crying. Star stared after the Irishwoman, baffled. She'd tried to help, but it wasn't her fault that Dutch found nothing to trust in his companion, though why he felt the need to keep her around was beyond understanding. They weren't even sharing a bed much anymore, so what was the point? Although, perhaps there was simply no convincing Molly that it was over. She still seemed to feel strongly about Dutch.

With a shrug, Star returned to her work, though she as soon joined by another.

“What was that about?” Hosea asked quietly, taking a brush to Silver Dollar.

Star glanced at the forming camp, making sure that Molly was nowhere in earshot. “Dutch brushed her off again. She wanted to know how I got Bill to talk to me. I told her that he trusted me. She... did not take it well.”

Hosea let out a sigh as a slight, humorless smile touched his lips. “So we saw.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Honesty is never wrong, girl. Except for when it gets you into trouble.” His smile grew genuine. “I knew when she arrived that the outlaw life would sit poorly with Molly O'Shea. It was just a matter of time.”

“Why does Dutch keep her around?”

“I don't think Dutch has spared a thought for Molly in months. She's here because she chooses to be. I don't wish the girl any ill will, but I do wish she'd move on. Dutch will never be the man she hopes him to be.”

Something about that troubled Star. If Hosea saw cracks in what Dutch was building...

“Don't mind me, Star,” he cut across her thoughts. “It's been a long road. Perhaps I'm a bit crankier than usual.”

Star smiled. “We're all tired. And this place... it's...”

“I know. Revolting. Though the stagnant water adds a pleasant aroma, wouldn't you say?”

They laughed together, finishing up with the horses. By that time, camp was more or less assembled. By nightfall, Dutch and Arthur had returned saying that they had found Angelo Bronte. Plans were laid for them and John to pay a visit the next day. Everything seemed to be on track to retrieve Jack and get the hell out of there.

The gang fell to their usual habits, eating dinner, drinking, playing the occasional game of poker. But underneath it all, there was an unrest, and they all could feel it.

Late into the night, Star and Bill sat on the ground outside of their tent. Star was sat between his legs, leaned back against his chest, and his chin rested on her shoulder. They were content in silence for a while until an alligator hiss made Star jump, knocking Bill's teeth together.

“Shit,” she breathed. “Sorry.”

“Ain't never seen you so jumpy,” he remarked, rubbing his jaw. “What's got you so wound up?”

“Everything,” she admitted, taking his hand to play with in her lap. “But especially this place. I don't like being this close to a city. I don't like the sounds those leviathans make. I don't like that I've been bitten by more bugs than I can count since we arrived. I want to go home.”

“Where's home?”

It was a genuine question, but Star realized that she didn't really know what to tell him. It wasn't the reservation that she spoke of, but that direction wasn't a bad one. North and West to the plains. To the buffalo. To the rocky buttes and clear skies. Home.

“Somewhere the wind actually moves and the air doesn't sit on you like wet fabric. Somewhere that horses can run without fear of breaking a leg in the mire.” She paused, then looked over her shoulder. “Somewhere with you.”

He smiled and gently placed his chin back onto her shoulder, arms wrapping around her torso to hold her close. “Sounds good to me.”

They sat together a while longer – long enough for Karen and Pearson to begin singing a little drunkenly from the poker table, accompanied by Javier on his guitar.

“I'm a poor lonesome cowboy/ Poor lonesome cowboy/ Poor lonesome cowboy/ A long way from home/ I ain't got no mother/ I ain't got no mother/ I ain't got no mother/ To mend the clothes I wear/ I'm a poor lonesome cowboy/ Poor lonesome cowboy/ Poor lonesome cowboy/ A long way from home.”

As they sang, Bill began to hum the tune in Star's ear, gently rocking her side to side. She couldn't for a second maintain her worries when his voice sent pleasant shivers down her spine. A smile blossomed on her face as her arms went atop his. To say that she had ever thought to have something like this was a stretch. To say that she had imagined it would be someone like Bill Williamson is an outright lie.

….

In the morning, the camp was abuzz as Dutch, Arthur, and John rode off to Saint Denis to get Jack back. Abigail was a nervous wreck and spent most of her time pacing the camp. No one got in her way, though Sadie tried to offer some comfort.

Star spent the day with a constant watchful eye sweeping her surroundings. She had faith – or at the very least, had hope – that they would bring the boy back with no trouble, but enough had gone wrong up to that point to leave her restless. She also began to pace the camp, though slightly less fevered than Abigail.

At one point, Micah sidled across her path, lips twisted into a smirk. “What's got your britches in a knot?”

“Right now? You,” she replied, walking around him.

He chuckled, following her. “Ain't no reason to be hostile. Just makin' conversation.”

“Find someone else to talk to.”

“But I want to talk to you. I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

“Yes, I suppose nearly running me over, then proceeding to hurl offensive remarks might make things somewhat tense.”

“I thought you liked bein' called nasty names. Ain't that what Bill did to get your attention?”

Star spun around so fast that Micah nearly smacked into her. He took a staggering step backwards as her nose came very close to his. “Think you're funny, ugly man? Do you? Do you know the difference between you and Bill? He's capable of learning. He cares enough to try. There's a good man inside him that this gang tried so hard to repress because they needed someone to be the butt of their jokes. And he let them. Because he just wanted someone to want him back. You? You're rotten to the core. No amount of care or friendship would ever change you because you like being the way you are. You're a snake, Micah. Be careful someone doesn't turn you into boots.”

For a screaming, silent moment, Micah just stared at her. His face betrayed the tiniest hint of shock, though most of it hid in his biting blue eyes. And then, he laughed. “Oho, I seem to have struck a nerve. Alright, there, princess. Don't get yourself all worked up. I'll go my merry way.” His smile cracked, and his voice dropped. “But threaten me again, and we'll just see who does the skinning around here.”

He stepped back from her, his smirk back on his face, and then he sauntered off as if nothing had happened. Star made sure he was good and gone before letting out the breath she was holding. She knew it was unwise to rile him. He had always felt dangerous, and he had zero respect for her as a human being. Still, she refused to take his shit lying down.

As she turned to continue on, a voice called, “You alright?”

Charles was leaned up against a tree, easily blending into the bark and the foliage around him. Star nodded and crossed to him. “Fine.”

“He's mostly harmless, but... I don't like the idea of you facing him alone.”

Star's gaze went over her shoulder. “I don't believe for a second that he's harmless. Something about him has always set my teeth on edge. I don't know what it is... but, I don't trust him.”

Charles nodded. “Neither do I. Hunter's instinct maybe.”

“Maybe.” Her eyes returned to him. “What are you doing over here?”

He pointed at an alligator on the opposite shore. “Watching that.”

Star's lip curled up in displeasure. “Why?”

“It's fascinating.”

“It's horrific.”

The beast accentuated her point by snarling and hissing at some bird innocently passing by. She just pointed. Charles chuckled. “I didn't say it was kind.”

“Well, I hate it. I hate this place and all its animals.”

“Fair enough. Come on. Have you had lunch?”

The pair made their way back to the camp interior and tracked down some food. Bill was on watch duty, so the pair ate alone, swapping stories from their childhoods. Though the day had started out on shaky ground, it improved the longer they sat together. They only hoped it would last.

As the day dragged on, nerves around camp grew more frayed. The longer Dutch and the others were gone, the more worried everyone got. Had it been anything other than Jack, the stakes would not feel so high. He was just a boy, and everyone was fond of him. Except maybe Micah, who was annoyingly calm.

When darkness had fallen and they still hadn't returned, Abigail was nearly inconsolable. No one else could focus on much either. But, when the sounds of hooves reached them, every head popped up hopefully. Bill's voice called out, “Hey! They're back! I think I see Jack!”

“Abigail!!” Dutch called. “We got you your son!”

“We got him!” John practically whooped. “He's ok!”

Jack's little voice piped up, “Momma! I'm fine, Momma!”

The dam broke. Everyone came running, smiles all around.

“My son!” Abigail cried. “You got him! You got my son back!”

She whipped her little boy into her arms, spinning around with a laugh. Jack looked none the worse for wear and said, “They fed me good! Italian food. Have you ever had that?”

“Good luck living up to that, Pearson,” Star murmured to the cook. He just grinned and waved her off.

Abigail brought Jack to the crowd of people waiting to greet him, though he soon lost interest in it all and asked to play. Abigail let him, but never let her eyes leave him. Dutch, Hosea, Arthur, and John shared a quiet word together, but then Dutch broke away, speaking louder. “Boys, we got work to do. Interesting work. But first, let's have a drink. We got Jack back! It's time to celebrate!”

The gang let out cries of joy and almost immediately managed to become merry. Alcohol was opened and passed around. Songs were sung, the most rousing of which was Javier's “Cielito Lindo”. Star didn't know the words, so she simply stood with the gang, watching, smiling, and laughing.

The echoes of Sean's party came back to her, leaving a weight of sadness atop her joy, but it was not so heavy that she couldn't enjoy this new celebration. She laughed with the girls, drank with the boys, played with Jack. It was wonderful.

At one point, Bill approached her, bottle in hand, though he immediately offered it to her when he reached her. She took it and drank a large swig. He was obviously feeling the effects of the alcohol, but she had certainly seen him far worse off. He took her hand in his, letting it dangle between them. “R-remember the party at Horseshoe?” he asked, swinging her hand slightly.

“Course I do.”

“Well... me too, but... I don't... I don't remember the part I wanna remember. So, let's do it over.”

She smiled, grateful that the fire would hide her blush. “I mean... we've done so before...”

“But not like this,” he answered, waving around at everything. “It's a party! We got Jack back. Everything's gonna be alright. I just... I wanna spend it with you is all. Proper like this time.”

She took another drink, smiling around the bottle. “Alright, fine. I'll slip away, then you follow me in a bit.” Handing the bottle back, Star reclaimed her hand and slowly made her way to their tent, stopping to talk to a few people along the way.

One of those people was Kieran. He lingered on the outside of the festivities, though his demeanor was more relaxed than usual. He even smiled when she approached. “Hi, Star!”

“Hey!” The alcohol had loosened her tongue slightly, making her a bit louder than normal, so she jumped at her own voice. “Oh, geez. Sorry. That was noisy.” Kieran giggled and took another sip from his bottle. “Anyway, I came over here to tell you something. I don't want you to think it was your fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jack getting taken. You said you'd seen some men being suspicious and the like before he was kidnapped. It wasn't your fault. If you'd tried to stop them, they might've killed you, and that wouldn't have been better. We got him back ok. Everything worked out. So... it's not your fault.”

He swirled his drink around and shrugged. “I dunno 'bout all that, but... thanks, Star.”

“You don't need to know, 'cause I know,” she replied, poking him in the chest. “Now enjoy yourself, Kieran Duffy.”

“Yes, ma'am,” he replied, smiling.

With that, she found her way to her tent, dropping the flap closed behind her. She didn't imagine Bill would take long following her, so she rather quickly disposed of her clothes, then sat on her bedroll to brush through her hair. The humidity had caused it to become a frizzy, sticky mess, and she was fed up with it.

As predicted, Bill appeared only a few minutes later, hurrying himself into the tent and tying it shut. When he turned back around, he almost balked. Star looked up innocently. “What?”

“Didn't expect ya to... well...” He gestured at her naked form vaguely.

“You've seen it before.”

“I know that!” he replied, unbuttoning his shirt. “Just weren't expectin' it is all.”

A sly smile slid up her face, and she leaned back on her elbows, stretching out and exposing her body. “You mean to say that I still have an affect on you? Even just... innocently sitting here. Minding my own business?”

He gave her a disparaging glance that turned into a longing grimace. “Why are you like this?”

She chuckled. “Like what?”

“Like you enjoy tormentin' me!”

“Maybe I do.”

He yanked his usual plaid shirt off, then ripped off his undershirt as well. “I guess we'll just see about that.”

He joined her on the ground, crawling over top of her as she just ginned. “You're sober enough to remember this one, right?”

“Yes!”

“Alright! Just making sure. How did it start last time? Something like this?” She lifted up to claim his lips, running her fingers through his beard and into his hair. He practically melted.

“Somethin' like that,” he agreed softly when she pulled away.

She laid down, pulling him with her. The kisses he placed on her lips, soon moved to her neck, her collarbone, and her breasts. His beard tickled, causing her to squirm and giggle every once in a while which just made him smile against her skin.

To be fair, Star did not believe for a second that their drunken hook-up so many months ago had been anything like this. It had probably been a horrible, awkward, mess of a time and wasn't worth remembering anyway. So it was nice to be able to put a more pleasant memory in its place instead.

Bill's lips eventually reached her hips, and he paused to graze his teeth over her hip bone, eliciting a shiver. “Now who's tormentin' who?” he rumbled against her stomach, dragging his nose along the sensitive skin just below her belly button.

“I don't know that I'm tormented just yet,” she replied.

He looked up to catch her gaze and shake his head. “Incorrigible, you are.”

She shrugged. “Now, are you gonna talk all night, or are you...” His index finger slid between her legs, taking the words right out of her mouth. She cleared her throat and nodded. “Better.”

When his tongue replaced his finger, Star lost the ability to tease him in any way. He'd never done that before, and it was an entirely new sensation that sent radiating heat up her torso. She never wanted him to stop. So, when he pulled away to free himself from his boots and pants, she whined softly. He just smirked.

He was slow pushing into her the first time, causing her to throw her head back happily. More than anything, she enjoyed sex as a bonding activity, and prolonged contact of that sort felt far more personal. Every touch of their skin seemed to have an emotion behind it, despite their physical desire for one another.

After some time on the ground, they shifted around a bit. Bill sat on the bedroll, and Star straddled him, taking control of things. It all started out as fun and games, but the emotions seemed to come back into it ten-fold with them so close to one another. Their eyes seemed locked into one another, and the heat between them was like fire.

Outside, thunder began to rumble, but even that wasn't enough to break the two apart. Star's arms were around his shoulders, and one of her hands was buried in his messy hair. He had one hand on her lower back while the other helped hold him up. He alternated between squeezing her ass and her hip as she moved on him. The hand that wasn't in his hair slipped between her thighs to heighten her pleasure which made her whimper softly. Of course, at this point, she knew well that her noises were one of his favorite things, so it surprised her none when his grip on her tightened and he began to buck up into her some.

She leaned her forehead against his, eyes slipping shut and mouth falling slightly open as she focused on the feeling of him inside her. “I fucking love you,” she breathed. “God help me, but I do.”

He responded by practically throwing her back onto the ground and pounding into her until she was moaning with every thrust. Her back arched wildly when she came. He fucked her through her orgasm, and just as she began to shy away from the stimulation, he pulled free and came as well – spilling his seed on the ground and grunting a small laugh.

Star stared at the tent top for a moment to catch her breath, but soon rolled upwards to her knees to throw her arms around him again. He caught her, giggling. “Good enough for the memory books?” she asked, kissing his nose.

He got slightly bashful and murmured, “Any time you say you love me is good 'nough for that.”

She stared into his eyes for a moment, wanting so much for him to know just how much she meant it. There didn't seem to be a way to fully express the extent of the emotion in her chest, so she settled on a kiss. A long, careful, emotional kiss. “I do love you,” she whispered, leaning her head against his. “And don't you forget it. Not even when you're drunk out of your mind.”

He nuzzled her jaw gently. “Never.”

[bobowhooo]

Potent Savages

Genre : Thriller/ Angst/ Trigger Warningssss/ Smutty/ Exo, oc, and blackpink gang au

Summary : Not everyone is cut out for this kind of fast paced lifestyle, but for these young, rich, savages, it’s second nature.

Chapter 9 : Blood thirst

 The sheep will always be a wolf. No matter what.

I’m cold.

It’s so cold here.

My eyes hurt like hell too.

I tightened my already closed eyes. My body turned to the side and i felt the soreness that siwon left me with in every limb. 

I felt like throwing up when i thought about what happens to me at night. That fucker carmelo and his raggedy ass syringe. My head started pounding when a flash of that image came to mind. 

This really was it huh?

Siwon the dickhead really did all of this to me. To my friends. Just to drug me up and fuck me. Just so he could call me his. And so i would never leave him with broken kneecaps again. 

A groan came through my lips and i flipped on my back. He has me fucked up if he thinks im just going to continue this for however long he wants. 

My mind slipped to what everyone else might be doing. Without a doubt looking for my ass, that’s if they even think im alive. If not, they’re fucking crying on the floor like babies. It pains me to know that exo is my like family now and i already let them down. Them and my girls.

My girls. Im so sorry. 

I failed as a leader. I swear when i get myself out of here i’ll never let shit like this happen again. 

Just wait for me.

I feel like i have been torn away from my own heart. I Can’t stand being away from them like this. I can’t stand their presence not being near mine. Every time i think about it i lose my shit just a little more. It’s surprising that im not hanging on by a thread as of now. But then again, im fucking Park bong cha. You can bend me. But this bitch will never fucking break.

Im still a fucking queen. No matter where i am. Or what im doing. I can’t change that even if i wanted to. 

A smirk found it’s way on my face. 

And i’ll always have this iron confidence that won’t subside even after i die. 

My mind is still in a good enough place it seems. Im glad. With that fact in mind it’s time to think.

There is a camera in the corner of this room. On my right. There is another one on the left right across from the first. No windows. Just cracks on the floors. The ceiling, floors and walls are all the same fucking thing. Smooth dark grey concrete. There is one steel door in the middle of the room. Two guards outside of it. Automatic machine guns in hand. I don’t know exactly where we are or what kind of place we are in. But i know there has to be more guards somewhere close. Siwon and carmelo are still business men, so they leave me here and go back to doing the usual work they always do. During lunch time carmelo comes to give me food. I don’t know what time it is right now though.

Damn it. 

I think about all of this everyday. But i still can’t think of a damn plan to get out of here. It feels like everything is so tight knit. 

The only idea i have is fucking with carmelo’s head until he does my bidding. Which i would rather not do. But it’s my only shot.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my own head and i sat up quickly.

Must be lunch time.

In comes angelos and one guard from who knows where. The guard stood at the door when he stepped inside while carmelo continued to walk towards the bed im on.

“Hungry?” he asked not paying me any mind as he sat at the end of the mattress with a bag of food. I looked at him and the food. For all i know they could be putting drugs in the food too. But then again i highly doubt that. If they were, they wouldn’t give a fuck and it would be absolutely obvious. His hands dug into the bag and pulled out an expensive looking sandwich wrapped in a light brown paper that says “Tsui mama. Fresh, fast eats.” and i took it from him. 

“Thanks.” I mumbled. A girl can never forget her manners. I snorted in laughter at what i just said in my head. That rule doesn’t apply to me because i never had manners in the first damn place. But still a good silent rule nonetheless.

“What’s funny?” carmelo blurted out as he pulled out another sandwich. Seems like he’s going to be eating with me today. Just like yesterday.

“Nothing.” i said as i opened up the fancy sandwich.

Angelos turned his head and looked at the guard in the room. I did the same and smiled holding out my sandwich to silently ask if he wants a bite. At this point none of this effects me. The only thing that’s getting to me is the fact that siwon did me dirty and took me from my friends. That and the lack of freedom. Everything else i can pretty much handle like a boss. So i continue to smile at the guard, because, why not?

I can’t afford for this shit to get to me anyways. I need to keep it cute or else my attempts to get out of here will be fucked up.

Carmelo pushed my hand down and i looked at him with my mouth full. 

“The fuck?” I said to him with one eyebrow shooting upwards.

“Get out.” carmelo dismissively said to the guard inside of the room.

The guard looked at him nonchalantly. “Im sorry, i can’t do that sir. Boss said to not leave you two alone.”

I looked between angelos and the guard. What is he trying to do here?

Suddenly carmelo pulled out his wallet and threw it at the man. The guard caught it after it hit his chest. He looked up at carmelo and i stared at the wallet in his hands. It’s actually swollen from how much cash he stuffed in there. I looked the other way and made a psshh sound with my mouth. My wallet is just as fat.

“It’s alot of money in there. Take it, and then get the fuck out.” he said dismissively. The guard started to think about it hard. Sad thing is we already knew he was going to take it. It’s not his fault. It’s siwon’s. He picks slimy people to work under him for Various meticulous reasons. He prefers people like this over others. The only problem is sometimes he can’t control them like he wants to.

The guard looked at his watch and then looked at me and angelos. 

“Okay im gone. But i’ll be back after lunch time is up. And if siwon finds out about this you better make sure i don’t get into trouble.” the guard spoke as he stood at the door with one hand on the knob. We both know if siwon finds out, that guy is going to eat a few bullets before either of us do.

When the door blocked our view of him walking out, and all we heard was his fading footsteps, i put my sandwich down and sighed before carmelo’s hand slowly moved towards my face and caressed my cheek gently. 

“What the fuck are you doing carmelo?” I asked quickly.

He stayed silent and slid his hand down to my left shoulder. His other hand flew to my right shoulder and swiftly pushed me to the matress, pinning me down strongly.

“How many times are we going to do this carmelo? You know im not going to let you fuck me, right?”

“I fucking know.”

“Im serious angelos. Just because im locked in this room doesn’t mean i can’t choke you to death and dismember your body with my teeth.”

He scoffed up a laugh and leaned down in my ear.

“Just shut the fuck up for a second, will you?”

The tone in his voice was something i couldn’t recognize and i looked up at the ceiling. He’s not trying to do anything with me. He knows better than to try that by now. Yet he’s got me pinned down and he’s whispering in my ears to shut up.

The cameras? It has to be.

“Aya.”

“Yeah?”

“Im not sorry for what’s happening to you.”

“Mhm, fuck you too.”

“But he killed my daughter.”

“Correction. He killed me.”

“Stop fucking around. Im trying to help you here.”

My eyes widened at his sentence. His hand slipped down to my thigh and he pushed his body up on mine, so that to the cameras, it looked like we were doing more than just whispering to each other.

“Sorry.”

“Listen up.”

“Okay.”

“I want revenge for taeyeon, and you want to get out of here. If we work this out right. We both can get what we desire.”

“How do i know this isn’t pure bullshit you’re spewing right now.”

“You don’t. But what do you have to lose. Plus i think im at more of a risk. I mean im surprised you haven’t fucking decapitated me already.”

“What good would that do for me.”

“Exactly. All you can do is roll with me.”

His hand squeezed my thigh as he pulled it up to his waist. 

“I guess so.”

A loud gunshot sound and harsh footsteps of someone rushing down the hallway snapped us out of our serious conversation. We both looked at each other. My hands flew to hike up the short white nightie that’s draped over me and exposed my naked body to him. He ruffled his hair and popped a few buttons on his shirt after loosening his tie. This was no easy task because of the fact that we are still trying to be discrete in front of the cameras. 

“They know you’re alive aya. I made sure of that.” he made sure? “And soon they will come to find you. Then that assholes whole world will come undone. I can almost guarantee you it.” He whispered into my neck and i looked at the door.

“Let it be so.”

The door busted open and in came a furious siwon. His hair is tossled and his shirt has coffee and blood stains on it while a gun occupied his right hand. He looked at us as his breathing was unsteady and put his hands on his hips.

“Well, well. Look what we have here. It’s the little ingrate on top of my sweet aya baby. Tell me. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE, HUH?”

We both faked surprised and startled expressions even though we both couldn’t give any less fucks.

He ran towards the bed and grabbed carmelo off of me, i sat up quickly pulling down my nightie in the process. Siwon pushed him up and on to the wall before he stuck the gun in his hand under carmelo’s chin. 

“Didn’t i say you need permission to ride that ride, little boy?”

“Oh im sorry, i didn’t know aya was ride, so i just thou-”

Siwon whipped the gun across the face of the man being held against the cold wall.

“Listen to me! You will give me some damn respect! Or else i will do to you what i did to your annoying ass daughter! You understand that!”

Carmelo swallowed what seems like his pride down his throat harshly.“Yeah. I understand that.” he said looking at siwon with untapped anger inside.

They stared each other down as if it was a contest before siwon let out a huff of air from his mouth in frustration.

Siwon slowly let him go and slid him back onto his feet.

“Beat it.” Siwon said rudely. 

Carmelo moved away from the asshole as he stood there, angry, and walked towards the door. He looked towards me before turning to leave.

The stare he gave was almost unreadable. But i understand what it means. 

As soon as his hand touched the knob siwon turned around swiftly shooting twice at carmelo’s left arm. He fell to the ground letting out sounds of pain.

I jumped off the bed and ran towards the wounded angelos.

“Siwon! what the fuck!” Carmelo screamed out at the man with the gun.  

“Never fucking disrespect me, boy.”

My heart became erratic when i looked at the blood on carmelo. My breathing is less steady and i stared down the gun in siwon’s hand. 

I can feel it. It’s screaming at me. Provoking me. The thing is, I want it to take over.

Before i could even think, my feet ran towards him. I jumped onto him attaching my limbs to his torso before i punched him once, twice, and then three times in his face. He backed into the wall, and i jumped down from his body swiftly, taking his gun and twisting his arm behind his back while forcefully pushing his face into the wall. I pushed the muzzle to the back of his head and let my finger tease the trigger. Then, before another move was made, the door busted open and four guards came rushing in.

It was fun while it lasted. It always is.

 I sighed and let him go slowly. I could just shoot him in the head then use his corpse as a shield while shooting everyone of these fuckers brains out. But after everything i went through. He’s not going to get that special treatment from me. I’ll wait. Because once im finally able to get out of here. I am going to watch siwon die a slow painful death. 

I stepped away from the man and put my hands up. 

Siwon turned towards me and smiled, smoothly taking the gun out of my raised hand. 

“Mhm. As i expected from you. You still have that bull like strength inside of you. So damn sexy.” Siwon said as he slid the gun down my torso. “That’s enough for now. Get out, and take carmelo with you before he bleeds all over my floors.”

They dragged him up and out, following orders without hesitation and the door slammed behind them. I made eye contact with the asshole before he threw the gun to the side and rolled his shoulders. 

“What do you want?” i asked him as i eyed his stained shirt.

“You.”

“Yeah, i know. What do you want from me though.”

“Everything.” He said as he hands went out to grab my waist. I slapped them away and put a finger on his chest.

“What a huge death wish you have.” i said as i looked at him disgusted by everything that i see.

He ignored me and continued to grab at me as i continued to swat his hands away. I can tell he loves every moment of me not allowing him access to my body. He’s so fucking slimy. My hand balled up and flew into his stomach without warning for either of us. I put strength behind it as my muscle flexed and my fist twisted. I pulled back and he held onto the area that’s experiencing pain.

Damn that felt good. I looked at the man and smirked.

“Sorry. My hand slipped.”

The simple fact that aya is alive has flipped everyone’s attitude in the best way. It’s like someone just blew life back into our half dead bodies. Me especially. 

The only thing left to do is find her. No giving up this time. I will find her even if it’s the last thing i do.

And now, finally, is the time to get some answers. I was determined to find out everything. That’s what i want. And if they don’t want to give me that then i have no use for them. 

I took a deep breath in and opened my eyes, staring down the two men from last night, who are currently tied up in rope, and occupying old, random, blood stained chairs.  

Everyone is gathered around me in the oddly warm basement. Im supposed to take the lead on this one. But i have no idea where to start.

I drew in a breathe and put my hands in my pockets. The silence only making the moment more nerve wracking for the men adorned in ropes. 

“I must say a thank you first.” I said to the men. “Without that phone you delivered, i probably would have drowned myself in drugs and the asses of random women.” 

Chanyeol snorted a laugh and put his hand on my relaxed shoulders,

“I think you two deserve the easy route for that. Don’t you agree?” I asked chanyeol.

“I agree.” he darkly replied, as he licked his lips in pure hunger. 

I think we all are craving a little blood shed right now.

I held out my hands for one of the golden guns they had brought into my “no guns allowed” club last night. I checked it for bullets then held it out in front of me to lock and load it. The men started the begging when i slowly raised and aimed for their heads, 

“Hmmm, you first? orr you first? Damn, i can’t decide.” I said with a pout. Chanyeol said a quick tsk tsk before leaning his elbow on my shoulder now.

“Wait! Wait! You need us you can’t do that! Please give us a chance!?” Fucking marcus spewed out as he started to sweat. Looking desperate as all hell.

I smirked. 

“Now, why the fuck would i do that? Does it look like im here to play stupid games with the two of you? I have a princess to find and as much as i would like to, i don’t have the time to sit here and torture your asses, none of us do. I mind as well just kill you both and then send your bodies straight back to wherever they came from.”

“No! No! Wait! We can work this out!”

“Can we?” i asked now moving the gun towards the kneecap of fucking marcus. I have no intentions of killing these men. But i do want to. The thing is they only know about the latter of the two. My trigger finger pulled in a backwards motion, suddenly shooting a bullet straight into the knee of the man. 

“Yes! please! we can work this out! we can! we can!” fucking marcus cried at me.

“Oh really? And how will we do that?” I asked sounding half interested. I pointed the gun at the shoulder of the other guy. I steadied my hand making sure my aim was perfect, or else i might kill him. With another push of my finger, a second bullet flew out of the weapon and shot the man it was aiming at right in shoulder.

“Uh oh. By the time he’s done you’ll be full of holes. Better speak up.” chanyeol said slyly. I could tell this is exactly what he wanted. This was making his blood rush faster. I could feel it too.

“Okay! Okay! Spare him at least! Please! And i promise to tell you everything i know! Please just don’t hurt him anymore!” Fucking marcus screamed at me as he struggled in his ropes.

Aha. So now i know where to shoot when i need to apply pressure. These guys are too easy though. They can’t work for siwon. Siwon’s men are usually always  fucking difficult and basically mentally insane.

I put the gun down and smiled. “Oh? Okay, bet. You got yourself a deal, fucking marcus. Speak that shit.”

Before the guy could let out a full sentence, the door flew open and sehun came running in with his glasses on, along with kai. 

“Baekhyun! We might have a problem! But! We also made a breakthrough!” Sehun spewed out while running his fingers through his messy hair. Kai was behind him, holding the door open, and shaking his head upwards and downwards vigorously. 

I didn’t need to hear more about the situation. My feet took the lead and ran passed everyone straight out of the door. My heart beat was erratic and unstable when i hit the stairs with my feet. 

Please. Please. I need this.

My forearm harshly pushed aside the door to the Computer room. Inside this room is complete darkness usually, the only light is blue lights adorning the walls and the brightness from the computers. Sehun usually spends most of his time here. Even though we don’t need to do much computer work, sehun has always fancied criminal technology work. His favorite thing is hacking and hiding files and reports of shit that could get us into trouble. No lie, he does all the actual work. Without him we probably would all be in some bullshit prison on death row. The only time i use this room is when im feeling the need to let stress out in a wholesome way. That’s when i break out the PC games. We don’t do game consoles in this house bitch. Well sometimes maybe.

“Sehun! hurry your ass!” i yelled, being the first person inside the room. I didn’t understand what was on the screen of the computer and i shook my head at the thought of trying to decipher it.

He ran in with the others and moved me to sit on the chair in front of the desk the computer was being held up on. 

“Let’s look into this shall we.” sehun spoke over me confidently. Everyone huddled around the area as sehun began to point at the screen. “When i began the search for the source of the phone and where it was purchased, i found two locations, SoCal, and phoenix. Pheonix is its location at the moment. But i don’t know if it’s fake because it leads to some custom dressmaker that goes by the name of panda. Fucking weird. That’s all i got though, for now.”

“Well that has to be the guy from video right? The seungri guy?” Kai said with his hands on his hips.

“No, we aren’t sure of that. For all we know this whole thing could be a trap. And that person isn’t even real.” Suho blurted out. Everyone looked at each other than to me.

What would aya do at this moment. 

She would probably stand up, walk over to suho, slap the shit out of him, then come up with a half ass plan to the situation at hand. Which would make suho think out the rest of the plan, and we would full proof and ready to go after 30 minutes.

I smiled and looked at the computer screen. I can finally understand what it’s saying. 

The real question is, what would baekhyun do? 

He would go full confrontational. Arrive at the area locked and loaded. Ready to kill anyone that even thinks about stopping him. No remorse. No mercy. Just a whole lot of blood shed. Love made me weaker. But if i want to have her, i have become stronger. But as i said before.

“I’ve never been a little bitch.” The words slipped out of my mouth and everyone continued to look in my direction. I got up out of the chair and looked around. “Well i guess we’ll have to find out the hard way if it’s a trap or not. I see no reason to hold back now. Not after everything.”

My eyes went to suho and he looked a bit surprised at me. I know why though. 

“Well, i did say confrontation is our strong suit. It could work.” Suho said with his hand now adorning his chin as he contemplates. “But of course we have to think about it more thoroughly.”

Everyone’s faces lit up, completely ready for all the action that is to come. 

We’re ready now. 

And siwon will learn how badly he fucked up. Because when you poke a sleeping beast, The result is never a good one.

“Before that though. Let’s finish up downstairs.” I said as i made my way to the door.

This time. This time i won’t fuck up. Because i can’t continue to live without her. I need to find her so i can be my full self again. I need her.

“Your happiness means nothing to me. But i love you so much im starting to want you to know what it feels like.” Siwon spoke into my ear as stood at the end of the bed and held onto a fancy modiste the panda bag. 

“So you brought that thing? Because that’s, uhh, that’s not going to make me happy.” I said back at him with a bored expression on my face. 

“You WILL love it. Trust me.”

I looked away. Like hell i will. 

It’s drafty because of the bath i just had, and the fact that im in just a big towel. The place they bathed me in was right across the hall. The room looked just like this one, except it had things in it that you would only find in a bathroom. I didn’t put up much of a fight during that time. I was just happy to feel warm water on my body. 

“Lighten up! Im going to dress you up again tonight! Isn’t that always fun.”

“Was that a rhetorical question? Because i think you know how i feel about everything by now.”

“Yes. It was.” He said with his eyes digging holes into mines. My eyes dug deeper though. I can tell they scare him. He can see it. His downfall inside of them.

He turned away and threw the bag on the bed.

“Be a good little one while im gone. I have work to do.” 

“Is that even possible for me.” I said to him with a smirk. Did i really just make him cower a bit just now? 

“You’re capable of anything aya.” He replied back to me. His hand pulled open the door and as he left i saw a few women in front of him, bowing. They are all dressed as slutty maids and their hands are occupied by what looks like make up and hair products. These girls are different then the ones from before. They all look a bit younger, and look more like they could be models than just regular girls. The ones before were probably older and had a more refined beauty. 

I guess he’s still into human trafficking. 

How shitty of him. But then again im not surprised at all.

The ladies walked in politely looking at the cameras nervously and i let out a huff. This is really pissing me off. 

“Aya. is it?” one of the women asked. She screamed plastic surgery and her body is killer. She also seemed to be more confident about herself and the situation at hand. 

“Yeah. Yours?”

“Seol. Just call me seol.” She said nonchalantly as she sat the makeup down on the bed. “That’s bamby, that’s angel, and that’s pearl.” 

I waved at the girls that she introduced. They all looked so sexy. But their faces were distraught. And one girl, pearl i think, just looks like she doesn’t give a fuck about anything around her. 

Same.

“Take the dress out, please, and let’s get started.” Seol spoke out.

My hand reached out for the bag and i accidentally bumped my fingers against bambys and she jumped harshly in reaction. Her eyes looked touched as she stared at my hand. 

“Hey, hey, Im not going to hurt you. I promise.” I said to her. I reached out for her hand as all the ladies stared at me. 

I remember when i first met my girls. They all were scared and lost too. Except jennie. She hid it well. Seol reminds me of her during those days. They all remind me of one of my girls during those days. When we were just learning how to love ourselves. And just learning how to carry ourselves. How to kill. How to move and sell. Us at the beginning. Everything seemed so hard back then. Hard and harsh. Everything hurt a lot more than it does now. 

I wonder. How similar these girls are to us really?

I held the hand of the woman in mine gently. I wanted to remind her of what a gentle touch felt like. My big lush towel i had wrapped around me loosened and my grip on her became slowly tighter. She just looked at me with scared eyes. Her breathing becoming more stable now.

“Bamby? Can you continue?” I asked. She gave me a small nod and i smiled, pulling back my hand.

I slowly pulled out the dress and gave it a once-over. It’s encrusted with real jewels and diamonds. The over all color is a bit of an off white and gold, with the upper half being sheer so you can see skin. The dress is gorgeous. And if i could estimate the cost i would say somewhere close to one million at least.

“Whoa.” Seol blurted out. “I know just the make up for that.”

I looked at her up and down. I think her figure would look better in something like this. I love expensive clothes and diamonds a lot. But this isn’t my style. I don’t like how heavy it is. It might restrict my movements. But that’s probably what he wants. Even though the crazy asshole is just going to rip it off of me. If not something is going to happen to it. These dresses he buys for me never survive a whole night. I always make sure of that. It doesn’t make a difference to him though. He loves wasting money. Especially when im involved.

“That dress is amazing.” Angel said looking adoringly at the item. The extravagance is getting to all of them. The expensive look exciting them almost to the core.

“Face me.” Seol said as she had me sit on the edge of the bed to start the dolling up process. She smells exactly like roses. And her hands are gentle when they start to prep my face for make up. 

Pearl came behind me and started to brush my almost completely dry hair with a sparkly silver brush. 

I felt relaxed in this atmosphere. The most relaxed i have felt in days. I felt as if i was in the presence of my girls. It’s comforting.

After a while of doing make up and hair, im finally ready to put the dress on.The ladies became more relaxed with me as time passed and they seemed more like themselves when they spoke now. I learned a bit more about them as they shared with me that they all chose to be here. And that this is better than the life they are used to. I believe every word. Because one thing siwon can do despite everything else, is take care of you. I mean that’s the reason i got involved with him in the first place. The guy is loaded. But it’s not worth all the psychological stress and abuse. Im lucky i got away when i did. Granted, im not living a fucking fairy tale. But it’s much better than living with him. Im making it a priority of mine to get them out of here. Because I like them and they deserve better.

My body slipped in the dress and filled it out well. It’s obviously tailored just for me. My hair is in a updo so it accentuates the dress nicely without taking away from it. My lips are a deep red shade and my eyes have a strong wing to them.

“Wow, you look stunning.” bamby said to me. as i looked in a full length mirror that a guard brought in as a request from seol. They did a good job. An amazing one actually. 

The steel door opened slowly all of a sudden as siwon made his way inside. He was dressed in a all black silk suit and his hair is slicked back completely. He held a box in his hands which is most likely the shoes that go with this dress.

“Come to me baby.” He said deeply. I stood in my place looking at him with an annoyed expression. 

“He said come here.” Seol said said rudely giving me a little push towards him. I looked at her and frowned. Im not going to get offended by that, I know she’s just putting on a show. Unless she’s not. I can’t tell. But im just going to assume for now.

I walked over to him with bear feet and held out my hands. “The shoes.” I said to him monotonously.

He filled my hands with the box and reached out for a kiss. My back turned before it landed and i opened up the box on the way to the bed. 

The shoes matched the dress pretty well, and the bottom of them are a deep red like my lips. I slipped them on and walked around a bit in them. My eyes met the women in the room and i smiled. 

“Thank you.” i said. Despite the situation, i want to be as polite and sweet to them as possible. They deserve it. They bowed in response and gathered up their stuff.

“Are you ready for dinner lovely?” siwon asked after the ladies left.

“Fuck you.”

“That has to be why we got that phone. He’s probably trying to get back at siwon using us.” I said to suho as we all sat at the table in the meeting room.

“But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would angelos be in on a plan that requires the death of his own daughter?” Suho spoke from behind his locked together hands.

“He didn’t know. He couldn’t have. Because one thing i know he wasn’t faking was his love for his daughter. It’s almost too obvious.” I spoke back to him. Everyone was sitting around us listening to every word. Probably wondering why they didn’t get it before. 

“True. I bet he was planning on killing her all along though. It couldn’t have been an amazing coincidence that they both dyed their hair blonde around the same time. Fucking blindsided everyone.” Suho contemplated harder as he let his words flow.

“Shit, i didn’t even notice that!” Chanyeol blurted out.

I think it’s safe to say everyone here is intrigued by the depth of his plan. But It’s not perfect. And the more we think about it, the more we find little cracks that could help us tremendously. 

I can already feel the blood on my hands. 

I can almost smell the gun powder. 

And i can almost taste her again. That addictive salty honey taste i love. Drives me crazy.

Ehem, no, no, this is not the time for that baekhyun. 

What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Baekhyun?” Suho called out to me.

“Uhh, yeah?”

“Lets go through with your plan.”

I sat up seriously. 

“It’s not going to be easy. But im sure we can pull it off.” Suho stood up from his seat and looked at everyone. “Even though we got fucked over. We’re still the shit. And we can do whatever we put our minds to. As your leader i promise you that.”

“Now let’s go get aya, and bash some skulls!” Lisa yelled.

Everyone’s confidence and spirits are up again as we all made cheers of agreement. That untouchable, royalty feeling, finally showed it’s ass again. Except this time we won’t let it leave.

Believe that.

First thing in the morning we got on a private jet that was brought a few months ago but hasn’t been used since then. Our goal is to go straight to phoenix and ask the person named panda what the fuck is up. The plan is full proofed enough so that if anything unexpected happens we can still have control over the situation. 

“Do you wanna know what it feels like to be high on a jet?” Chen asked rose. She frowned a little and slid more into her seat next to jongin as he put his arm over her shoulders. She’s not trying to act shy. Chen is just a bit creepy sometimes. 

I shook my head at the scene and looked out the window. Im antsy. And fidgety. I don’t want to get high but i might have to. I don’t like this feeling. Impatience. Anxiety. And im getting hard thinking about her again. I feel like i can’t control my body right now. 

“Baek? you okay?” Jennie asked while standing at side of the unoccupied seat next to me.

“Yeah. im good.” i lied to her as she sat down.

“You don’t look it.”

“I know, but i am.”

“Suuurree. Tell me more lies please. I really love that shit.”

I giggled nervously. 

“Im just having a bit of a hard time with how to feel right now.”

“I know what you mean. Im fucked up inside too right now. I kind of want to throw up when i think about the fact that she’s not here with me. With us.”

“Same.”

“Just focus on one thing for now, and try to be patient.”

“Okay. Will do.”

She got up after giving me a quick reassuring smile. 

A yawn escaped my lips and surprised me. I haven’t been genuinely sleepy in awhile. Not since this whole thing with aya. Maybe i’ll take this opportunity while i still can. My hands popped in my headphones and played a random playlist i have. 

I’ll let myself go. For no-

“Damn, i hate traveling.” I spoke as i sat down in a car we brought to carry out our plan. Im pretty over this already. I just want to lay my eyes on her right now. But in do time i guess. 

“Sehun if you will, can you tell us a few things.” Suho said from the passenger seat. Everyone became more quiet than before, Wanting to be able to hear all the info he gathered.

“Well, first things first “the panda” is a man. Our earlier thoughts are false. Also the guy makes dresses and suits for a very exclusive group and that group most likely consist of your average la danse autour goer. Rich, douchey, and is disgusted by the thought of wearing the same thing twice.”

“Do you have a specific list of people or just a good idea.” Kyungsoo asked.

“Nope. I did some research and know only three people that actually have said that they buy from him publicly. Which is shady in itself.” Sehun was looking at his phone as he spoke, probably still deep into his research. “Person numero one is elise elaine, That old lady with lots of plastic surgery that baekhyun used to fuck around with, then it’s si yeon park, and siwon.” 

“Are you kidding me!?” Jisoo asked from behind him.

“Hey! that was hard to find okay! These people are very secretive with everything they do!” Sehun yelled at her taking offense to her question, because it probably made him feel like she was calling him dumb.

“Well damn. That clears up a lot.” I said now looking at the road ahead of me.

“Anyways, the guy has been arrested and sued multiple times for things like possession of narcotics, domestic violence, Sexual harassment, tax evasion, public indecency, And possession of crack cocaine.” Sehun read off his phone. “Mind you all these charges were “taken care of” perfectly somehow, it’s almost like he got away with it all.”

“Damn, that guy has more charges than my fucking black card.” Jennie said with a disgusted face.

“We got ourselves a bad boy ladies and gentleman.” Chanyeol chuckled out from the drivers seat.

“The guy makes dresses how bad can he really be!?” Chen yelled from the seat while laughing.

“That doesn’t mean shit, but i get your point.” I said. 

“Well he’s going to be attending some random fashion show that’s featuring one of his custom made dresses. The only other designer that will be showing clothes is a woman named milian.” Sehun spoke again.

“A fashion show!” Jennie yelled. 

“Yeah, a fashion show.” Jisoo responded to her with annoyed expression.

“Is there a way we get on that list?” Suho asked from his seat up front.

We all looked at kai with questioning faces. We all are aware of his background. So he was the first person that comes in everyone’s mind. The guy is a real life adonis. How could he not have been a model. He only did it for a few years though. Some shit went bad and thankfully we found him soon enough to pick up the pieces. I wonder if he likes modeling as much as he’s made for it. I guess it doesn’t matter at this point. All that matters is if he has the connections we need.

“I-i might know a guy, that knows a guy.” Kai said nervously while looking at everyone.

“Kai, don’t you mean, you plowed the girl, that is the girl?” Chanyeol asked. “Milian, i mean.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s her, that’s the girl that i used to date.” He replied sounding defeated as rose stared holes into the guy. 

“Well, the fuck are we waiting for? a theme song?” Chen asked.

“A phone call, douchebag.” Kyungsoo spoke now putting his attention on the road ahead.

i looked at the time on my phone and let a smile slip “This is going to be fun.”

“You’re going to thank me when we arrived and people applaud us on our attire.” Chanyeol spoke. He’s referring to the fact that we all spent too much time on our outfits for the event, even though we are only going to whop ass and get information, and suho began to complain a little earlier as we all got settled back in the car. 

I could care less when we get there though, despite my impatience to see aya. I think it’s called fashionably late. So with that in mind there isn’t much to worry about. I guess.

“mhm, yeah i could totally do that.” Kai was talking on the phone with his ex who is running the fashion show. It was quite a surprise that she even hit him back when he contacted her. But then again who wouldn’t. It’s motherfucking kim jongin. Thank goodness is all i can think. That plan was a real hit or miss, shot in the dark, type thing. And it worked. “Yeah, im on my way. Yeah, i can see the building right now, mili.” Jongin continued on the phone, as he started to sound a bit frustrated with the woman.

“Alright guys. Lets haul ass.” Suho said as we pulled up in front of the location. We all quickly got out of the car and ran towards the entrance.

Kai pushed himself in front and walked up to the guards with a smile. “The name is kai. Just kai. These are my friends.” He pointed to us and we all waved at the big guy checking for his name.

“You all are in. Kai you come with me. I’ll show you where the wardrobe area is.” The guard said and began to walk off.

“You guys watch your backs. And stick together.”

We all nodded at him as he followed the heavy set man and then looked at each other.

Let’s do it.

We all walked in at the same time and people turned their heads. Im sure they’re wondering who we are since going to fashion shows wasn’t really our thing, ever. The girls looked for seats with the others while suho and i scanned the room. I don’t know what panda looks like, but all the seats that are designated have a name on them. So it should be easy for my eyes to lock onto the man. 

“Shit, baekhyun don’t look now.” Suho hit my arm with a shocked look on his face. 

“Suho, if you’re pointing at a mirror again, just so you can say “Me, im so damn fine.” I swear to god i’ll clock your ass.” 

“Nooo, It’s fucking si yeon, she’s hereee.” He was htting me and covering his face as i looked around for her.

Am i scared? No. Did we plan for this? No. Do i care? Fuck no.

“Please shut the fuck up suho.” I proceeded to my sit after deciding to just lay low, and if she spots me, deal with the situation calmly.

“Hello, ladies and gentleman, im milian amlish!” A round of applause surrounded the place as she continued. “Tonight i will be presenting my new collection hana hana grew, which represents humans as flowers and shows a sort of coming of age story through every piece worn. I hope you all enjoy it and it touches you the way it did me.” Another round of applause for the designer as she smiled before walking away to backstage. One guy in particular was standing up and shout whistling at the lady.

That’s the damn panda. It has to be.

The man sat down in his designated seat and looked around quickly, letting me catch a good glimpse of him. 

Yup. That’s the target. 

“Damn, that guy really needs some sleep.” I said under my breath while music started to burst through speakers all around us.

I made eye contact with chanyeol, who was seated right behind the guy, and he got the message when i nonchalantly made gestures towards him. 

The first girl came out and we looked at each other more intensely, and speaking silently.

“I’ll have a quiet chat with him like we discussed.”

“And i’ll tell lay to bring the car around.”

“And if anyone sees something they shouldn’t”

“We got suho to take care of that.”

“Baekhyun!?” I jumped when i heard si yeon call out for me. 

She was leaning in her seat, which was in front of me, two seats to my left.

Damn it. Stay calm.

“H-hey, si yeon-ah, what’s up girrrl.” I tried my best but the words came out so weird. I heard suho beside me snort in laughter and a pout took over my lips.

Fuck you suho. Fuck you.

“Baekhyun, what the fuck?” Si yeon spoke again, a bit more angry this time though.

I shot out of my seat and ran towards the refreshments table. I knew she was going to follow me so i kept my back turned waiting for her angry arrival. Lo and behold a slap landed on my back after i heard her heels close in on me.

“Seriously baekhyun!? You fucking ditch at the sky cafe, then tell me to fuck off at club goutter!? What is the matter with you!?” Si yeon whisper yelled at me as i took a sip of a drink i snagged off the table.

“Shit is happening, yeon-ah, im sorry i did you dirty but things happened and i think you have a good idea of what the fuck i mean when i say that.”

“I don’t!”

“Yeah, sure, why don’t you tell me you’re a virgin too while you’re still at it.”

“Ugh, Fuck you baekhyun! I literally was nothing but good to you!”

“Hm, well thanks for not denying it.”

“Fine! Fine! maybe i do fucking know what happened! But that doesn’t mean anything! That doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole to me!”

“Oh yeah? Tell me, what do you know?” I looked at her with mock desperation. This way she’ll feel of value to me again. I know it’s fucked up. But there’s no way it’s not going to work.

“Tell me what i want to know first.”

The business woman in her showed up just now. Too bad she won’t be here for long.

“I treated you like that because i was going through a few things. I was mentally scarred for a few weeks and i didn’t want to drag you into it.” Some of what i said is true. But not all of it, of course. I deserve an oscar award, honestly.

“Bae-baby. Im sorry for what happened to you, okay. And im sorry for what happened to aya. But remember you told me you have no feelings for her. You don’t need to feel guilty baby. Im here for you. Always.”

Oh really?

I pulled her in for a hug and kissed her neck. Trying my hardest not to make any moves that could ruin this moment.

“Im sorry for your lost. I really am. But it’s for the best. Soon you’ll see. We’re all better off this way.” her grip on me tightened when she finished and my eyes widened.

Bitch.

“I think so too.” I looked up to the runway and saw kai walking down slowly. It’s now or never.

“I think you should stick with me for awhile. Noona.”  

I hurriedly grabbed her right arm and twisted it, making her back face me, as i pulled my phone out.

“H-hey! What the do you think you’re doing baekhyun!?”

“Yeah, lay? Mhm, it’s time. Whip it as fast as possible. We got an unexpected guest on our hands.”

“Baekhyun!”

Chanyeol abruptly stood up trying not to make it obvious that he had a gun to the back of mr.panda. 

I rushed si yeon to the backdoor exit and kicked the door open.

“Took you assholes long enough!” Chen yelled as he swung open the black van him and lay just equipped us with. 

Suddenly kai ran from around the building still in the same clothes. He looks something like a music video, or a perfume commercial. I pushed a yelling si yeon to chen and he grabbed her roughly slapping a hand over her mouth. Everyone came rushing out at once and the panda stayed in front with his hands up, looking stiff. 

We pushed our way inside the now cramped van and huddled around the two captives, tying ropes around them and applying duct tape to their mouths. Our blood was pumping, as we all tried to catch our breath. This is the shit we live for. This is the shit we’ve been missing. We almost forgot. We almost forgot who we are. Who we we love to be.

“Hyung, if it’s okay. I would like to handle this one.” I said to suho, and calmly pulled out the gun on my person. 

“Go for it.”

“Panda, this is si yeon. Si yeon-ah this is panda. Get a good look at each other. Because you should at least like the person you get buried six feet under with. No?”

They made muffled noises that i assume is disagreement. My head shook when a smirk shined through. 

“Im going to take that as a yes.”

AUTHORS NOTE : yayyy! im doneee! it took me so long for this one becasue i was having some problems with delivery T-T but i think i did it finally! even though the delivery is shitty still.......T-T i hope you huys enjoy it.

Kisses T-T ~ laila <3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

primes And multiples of 8

oh Thank You this sure turned out to be a bunch of questions lol, what else is better for keeping occupied on go stupid sunday

2: Favorite book?

lbh i don’t have one 

3: Favorite fictional character?

oh god lmao i mean again when it comes to Favorite ___ i have no *real* answers but atm i keep just sitting here staring at the quant don’t i

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)

even with the “i don’t have Favorite anything” factor even this is always like. my ass doesn’t know how to Not like, think up a good half dozen or more potential relationships or whatever and decide they’re all fun……im rarely like “wow even narrowed down to this one particular Media i live and die by this otp within it”…….boring answer but really like even if this was applied Just to some particular work where i’m [staring at a Fave] or whatever i still dunno if there’s anything where i’m not #about [multiple possible Relationships]

7: List 3 negative traits you have

ooh fantastic. let’s lump “Too: passive / avoidant / nonconfrontational” into one, rest in pieces u_u. #2 im a lil temperamental lmao like, bit too much sometimes. #3 despite number one there i also don’t have a world of restraint lmfao which is just like. how i be but can certainly be a downside sometimes

8: How does someone become important to you?

idk i virtually always meet ppl via Mutual Interest……my social sphere is mainly “friendly acquaintances” or whatever where it’s like i may or may not have talked to most of them in the past >[0.5 years]………just a process really of “we Keep Interacting” and “we like each other” lmao like. it’s both very not difficult and also. difficult lol

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?

uhh not like there’s a strict analytical methodology here but i guess it’s like “hmm this person makes me p miserable / i do not even actually like having them in my life” lmao

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?

ooh the “currently” Might make a Favorite question easier but i don’t even have Favorite Lyrics Currently lmao. it’s lucky if i’m even paying attention well enough to stuff to absorb the lyrics the first like dozen times i listen to a song and also i’m rarely like “oo Resonant” when it comes to lyrics anyway?? does it count if more than survive gets stuck in my head….even then it’s like. i always like the “of all the characters at school i am not the one who the story’s about” while Blatantly Being The Protagonist lmao b/c like…..idk i never like story structures where the protagonist is just like clearly kinda elevated like Obviously The Hero B/c They’re Better Than Everyone Around Them or something like more important / deserving than other people and i definitely find it harder to care about / connect with Protagonists / ~main characters~ who are treated like that. and obviously bmc is really not about that either lmao i appreciate that a lot

16: What is something you really want?

i think we can all agree our lives could be improved with money. also….in these times of covid…….. :| would want literal immunity for people……..april 2020……

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?

i mean damn see above like. got the Wish Tiers like “personal things re: myself in particular” and “for people i personally know / smaller stuff i care about” but like damn in this day and age especially it’d be like well, Humanity Not Being Destroyed is kinda a thing isn’t it. can’t have any slightly more fun wishes b/c these [systems] will be like [exists and affects everything horribly]

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?

is it easy for anyone to get over!! i don’t have to deal with romantic heartbreak though which i guess is what it means. galaxy braining that issue lmfao

23: What do you want your future to be like?

man ties in with 16 and 17 but also like we sure exist under capitalism always don’t we, and it’s tricky when like “it would be nice to have a small personal apartment to live in wouldn’t it” is this fever dream for all of us. but it Would be nice. having the time and money for Making Food whenever you feel like, right. it’s always like “if i was in a situation where i could just bake something due to Feeling like it i’d probably be doing okay” lmao. love to have access to healthcare someday. it’s all like depressingly low standards that are also depressingly ~unrealistic~ lol like i do not Ponder the future much. i also don’t have like, longtime aspirations/dreams or even Not longtime ones so i can’t be like “would love to have a career in/doing ___” but also yknow im good with I Don’t Need A Dream Job, would just like jobs to be non-horrible and to have time to like, do shit on my own outside of that, b/c that’s what i like to do lol…..but then also it would be fun to like, one way or another, get to spend a lot of time putting effort into some kind of in-some-way-Collaborative Project / Endeavor and get to be really engaged. the idea of getting to be around multiple people who it’s fun to be around and it doesn’t feel super temporary is Wild like, intimidating to listen to “the bar song” b/c i’ll just cry after 3 seconds. also i just like to be around people like, used to think that being anxious and all i wouldn’t want to live in a city but probably the opposite’s true….yeah i like to have a space where i can be alone / unobserved but i also like to at any time be able to be Amongst ppl even if not interacting with them (and also im usually more relaxed interacting w/ strangers than ppl i know)…….but really i have no details i’m just fingers crossed that at any given time i’m more than a couple steps away from like the post about [body wearing the funniest hat you’ve ever seen] lmfao and like. would rather not die in a pandemic either

24: Have you ever met someone you never thought you’d become close to?

in an “and i was right” way, sure lol, but otherwise i don’t think so

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?

it’s like Not Really But How Would I Know and yet i’m gonna kill everybody doing the shit just treating it like alternate myer-briggs types like delete your tweets 

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you? 

#selfcare idk. me passing out or making the effort of getting food? great to step outside and pet a cat i guess but also that’s just fun. i don’t have a real methodology or approach here either. is me reblogging ask memes to ask for attention / distraction self care? is Napping to reset the mood self care? you be the judge

32: If you could go back in time and re-live your life up to this point, knowing everything that you know now, would you make different decisions?

eh not really……tfw everything that is the way it is now including “knowing what you know now” is a result of everything having happened exactly the way it already did……..

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?

i’m like Only surprised by it

40: What makes you feel confident?

thinking abt the tweet(?) which is like “when ur walking around in public pretend crazy in love is playing”……being around the lgbtqs obviously…..feeling able to Be Funny b/c like. that depends on the people i’m around too lol.

41: How do you show you care?

love languages……..uh i will do Favors. acts of service or whatever lol. i also like to give gifts. compliments??? idk it’s hard to judge this lmao i will cheer someone on, usually figuratively lol…….Liking A Tweet idk. an attempt was made

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?

we need better sins. am i vainglorious for being opinionated / stubborn. "being not cishet” probably would be considered lust, and that’s a pretty important thing lmao. lust for life….the illicit sexual desire of being An Lgbtq…… i feel like i can be impatient, so i supposed that’s wrathfulness……hard to choose just one and yet again also. the list bites

47: What are you passionate about?

easily a lot of stuff that i find Engaging b/c i’m just sort of like that but i mean. easy answer is just: [interests]

48: Have you ever started to try learning about a subject only to realize it’s not something you enjoy?

not really……if i’m trying to learn something myself i probably had some level of “already knowing i like it to some degree” to even have the motivation in the first place

[fakefiends]

stuff i dont wanna lose in my notes

Spinning On That Dizzy Edge It's Friday, I'm in love. He needed to sleep. He needed a break because it was his own damn fault that he stayed up all night lurking on Roy's Instagram. He tried to sleep, but it only came in intervals of 5 minutes, leaving him dizzy as he had to get up to get ready for a soundcheck. He stayed quiet for the most part, taking a few hits out of a joint, thinking it'd make him hyper, but he was so wrong. "Adore..." "I don't think we're gonna wake her up.." "Just leave her alone, I got it." the voices from the other queens hovered above her didn't do much, she just listened with her face rested on her jacket. She fell asleep on the couch, Roy trying to gently wake her up as other queens resorted to yelling. "Aww, let Bianca take care of her baby." Violet joked, laughing softly. "Shut up." --------------- ########### Danny woke up with a headache from the heat, curled up on an uncomfortable couch. His panic then arose as he realized everyone was already half-ready, he was still a boy, with his cheeks flushed and hair messed up and sweaty. "The Sleeping Beauty's awake!" Jinkx announced, looking over at a confused, tired Danny. "Thanks." he said dryly, sitting up and wincing, holding his head and sighing, "What time is it?" "Like... 6? The show starts in 2 hours." Courtney mumble-answered, trying to get her nose contour right. "Oh." He got himself together and got his makeup bags from the corner where they were brought in with everyone else's drag from the bus, sitting himself down and playing some music from his speaker to get himself alive. Starting his makeup, he downed two Red Bulls waiting for the powder to set. ------------- %%%%%%%% 8:00. Showtime. It didn't take long for Adore to get her outfit together, besides the tights and everything. Expensive, cheap-looking dress, a leather jacket, long, wavy black wig with cat ears. Better than clipping together a costume. She heard Bianca hosting on stage, a smile creeping its way onto her face as she smoked, 'Friday I'm In Love' playing so she could get her voice together before her performance. - what is the utmost upsetting, and disappointing realization i have had in all years of life, is that the human race will not learn. we learn from past yet do not look forward whenever there is an approaching red light to simply stop, and analyze. look forward, know your people, know what the options are, and what will happen for each. chances taken with thought and are easily explained are better taken than chances that are impulsive and the only thing you can say to them is, "because that's how it is." i am just now growing, my mind is changing and i now understand that as you become an adult, you somehow become the clueless toddler that asks questions such as, "why is the sky blue?" im dumb as hell - I should have left you The moment I saw that stupid smile. Adore felt like she was in the clouds as she felt the other queen's lips against hers. Courtney's touch was gentle, comforting, treating her like fine china as her lips slowly meshed against Adore's. Soon she pulled away, laughing softly and stroking the taller girl's cheek as she was left breathless in her tipsy state. Adore glanced down at her, flustered under all of her makeup. "M-More.." she whispered, a lazy smile drawn on her lips, and Courtney pulled her out of the small bathroom and to an unoccupied room, in the midst of a loud party. I'm deluded to stay, dress rolled up by my waist But you had me at 'goodbye'. Adore again, catching her breath with the queen inbetween her legs, arms around her neck as her black dress was pushed up and out of their way. It was hot, not at all sober.. again, and controlled. Too controlled but the taller queen couldn't help but submit to the blonde's small touches and kisses to drive her crazy. The next morning was a guilty, dirty feeling. A feeling of disgust and regret, yet Danny knew that by the time the night rolled back that he'd be in the same exact position. Sent texts at 6:25 AM saying 'I'm sorry.' and, 'I hope this doesn't change us as friends' still couldn't erase the anxiety slowly building up in him. But that was Courtney. ABC. His best friend and the thought of not having her there sent an even worse chill and an even deeper feeling in his stomach. I hate you every time I fuck you But I close the door Cause I'm young and insecure I loved you, what am I supposed to do? It's all we're good for. Danny couldn't bring himself to climb out of bed the day of an interview with Courtney. Even with Bianca's gentle reassurances and strokes of his cheek to make him feel better, he stuck with the sick excuse and while they were gone, he just got on his laptop and tried to empty his brain with poetry coming out in caps and typos and frantic fingers onto the keys with the same thought in his head. I am disgusting, you are my friend, and we are not one. You don't know me when I'm not high Boy you're only as good as the hole in my skirt And the bruises on my thigh. mmmm Twas bad - Slouching Toward Nirvana, Part 1 (Biadore) Things weren't the best with Danny. He had the best house on the block, yet it was only occupied by one boy. Well, and a few ghosts. Writing was his only hobby at this point, playing a few scratchy chords on his new guitar, not sure of anything. He became a hermit, his only friend becoming beer, weed and his favorite shirt, the word 'sad' always coming up in the lyrics he scrawled down. That's what he was. Just a sad, sad boy. He'd occasionally go out for even more drinks with John, but the days that passed during his break only included weed, beer, and well.. his favorite shirt. He wasn't necessarily sad now, just content, and looking back and bringing back feelings he would've never dared gone back to just to write the songs, making his mood very solemn. Distract and sedate, everything is okay. Problem was, he knew that. He had a lot of time to just sit back and think. Sometimes that isn't the best thing, so he just turned to social media sites, making his feelings turn into little song teases, and gifs, just to keep his followers on their feet. All of them usually just tweeted him if he was okay, since he wasn't getting out, and just drinking, and they weren't wrong, but he'd just tell them he was fine, and he was just relaxing. One night, in Danny's very silent bedroom, he'd drained himself completely. Hit after hit on his joint, he just stared up to the ceiling. Recharging. He'd thought a lot about tours he's been on, all of the guys he'd become attached to, all too fast. That can drain him quick. To break the peaceful thoughts of the boy, his phone had gone off with a text message, startling him a bit. He didn't get many texts anymore, since they all knew he was just slaving away to his boy music, focusing. But once he sighed deeply and set the lit joint onto the ash tray carefully, he sat up and grabbed the phone, squinting and turning down the brightness immediately. It was Bianca. That contact name showing up on his lockscreen was enough to make him crack a smile, before he read the text leading up to it. Are you awake? But he knew the other man's intentions were to get him to the energetic, jolly state the boy was usually in, so he just set the phone down, and rested on his back again. He wanted to reply, and he felt bad leaving him on read, but he couldn't bare having the same repeated conversations of, "Are you okay?" Yes. "..But are you really?" It was a lot of contemplating, but he mustered up the confidence to hold up the phone, and type back a casual 'Yeah, what's up?' and maybe a few emojis. Bianca had the three little dots appearing at the bottom of the text thread almost immediately, and Danny swore this was the only time in his entire life he'd not been looking forward to talking to the queen. Just checking in. I'm going to be in LA for the tour this Wednesday, flying in tomorrow. Danny wasn't expecting this at all, and his mood had almost completely changed. Wait for it.... Do you wanna hang out? Fuck yeah. Danny smiled brightly, quickly typing out a response. 'Of course! What time?' he added a heart emoji to that, incredibly estatic that his favorite person in the whole world was going to visit him again, after months of only texts, he'd get the hug he only dreamed of. Their conversation continued until Danny fell asleep with his phone by his face, his joint finished, and his face becoming peaceful. He dreamed of bliss. - Mmm Twas Bad