#also instead of getting there an hour early
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
It's unfortunate that there wasn't more time given to Steph and Helena beyond the early one-shot they had together. That could have been a really good long-standing relationship. Likewise, I think the relationship between Steph and Dinah could have been great if it had lasted longer. In the beginning, Dinah was obviously reluctant/uncomfortable with it, and they never really had the chance to push through that awkwardness because they were all wrapped up in the Bruce Wayne murderer/fugitive case. (This was all made extra complicated by the fact that Steph didn't even know that Bruce and Batman were the same person, so she was entirely lost during this period, confused about why Batman had abruptly abandoned her, while everyone around her knew or discovered the truth but couldn't/wouldn't tell her. Having to hide that from her while dealing with trying to investigate and exonerate Bruce really seemed to make Steph's presence extra stressful and annoying to everyone else. This whole thing was pretty rotten, btw -- Steph couldn't do anything but speculate on the reasons for Batman's absence, and naturally assumed it was because of something she had done, and she was left to process her feelings of rejection and abandonment all by herself.) Ultimately, Dinah also rejected her -- albeit somewhat more gently than Batman did, but telling her to "go back to the Batboys" was a pretty nasty kick in the pants, considering the entire reason Steph was there was because "the Batboys" had rejected her first (and by Batboys I primarily mean Batman; Tim was away at boarding school for most of this, and also hurting over how Batman had betrayed him by revealing his secret identity to Steph without his consent). Babs wasn't really a great mentor until much later, after Steph returned from "the dead" and took up the Batgirl mantle. Prior to that, she was routinely snippy, cold, and sometimes downright mean to Steph. (For example: when Steph claims Cass broke her jaw, and both Cass and Babs claim she didn't, only to later admit to each other that they knew that she did, in fact, fracture it a wee bit -- like yeah, it's minor in the grand scheme of things, but why gaslight her about that at all? Babs even jokes -- in that deadpan way she has that leaves you wondering if it's really a joke or not -- that Cass should have really broken it good. Like damn, Babs, is that necessary?) Steph never actually seemed to hold this against Babs at the time, though, and their relationship improved significantly once Babs decided to give Steph a shot as Batgirl, after all. It was never fraught with as much pain and tension as her relationship with Bruce, and I'd say she and Babs are actually pretty tight now. Steph's mom, though, wow, she deserves a lot more recognition. This woman survived her stupid husband, kicked an addiction, and worked long difficult hours to support the daughter who kept jumping out windows and getting into fights with criminals. It's unfortunate that the vast majority of fanfics that even bother to mention Crystal at all seem to ignore her recovery in favor of either removing her from the picture entirely (death by OD, or sending her off to rehab), or keeping her around to be angst-fodder -- both of these often intended to justify Steph viewing Bruce as a parental-figure instead. It's also unfortunate that Steph has all this history with the Birds of Prey, and yet is being very much left out of their book right now even though Cass -- who was still her roommate and partner, last we saw -- is being featured. Give Steph a team. She's pretty much the only Bat-adjacent who's never actually had the support and friendship of a team. :(
I respect everyoneâs headcanons and allâŠbut!! I really donât like how Stephâs long line of female mentor figures have been ignored. It feels like in fanon thereâs a much larger focus on Steph needing a âDadâ role in her life, usually filled by Bruce or, weirdly, the Riddler (more power to yâall but Steph has at most shown disdain for Eddie in-universe) - when sheâs had plenty of teachers, mother figures, or just her plain actual MOTHER (more on her and why she matters here!) that have cared for her & guided her when all the male figures in her life were telling her she was too flighty and irresponsible.
Dinah Lance,
Robin 80-Page Giant
Barbara Gordon,
Batgirl (2009) #3
Selina Kyle,
Catwoman #34
Even Helena Bertinelli for a little bit.
Batman: Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma They were all really important and defining relationships. I wanna see headcanons about them. Fanfics. Discussions. But I swear, I feel like I hear next to nothing.
I wanna change that. And I want yâall to change that đ„ș.
#poor steph never gets half the devotion from others that she gives to them#she's always alone even when she's in relationships#I also have thoughts about how Steph's death may have influenced Dinah into forging a somewhat better relationship with Mia Dearden later o#TBH it's a shame Dinah didn't just absorb Steph into Arrowfam#Ollie would have LOVED Steph if he'd had a chance to get to know her better (I think they only met once before her death)#Stephanie Brown#Dinah Lance#Barbara Gordon#Birds of Prey#Black Canary#Oracle
400 notes
·
View notes
Note
i know this has more than a year but i really can't find it in your blog, did you ever talk about the endings in your horror rpg maker hc au?
well i thought i did and then it turns out i didnt? and then it turns out neither me or @makowcy (co creator of all my aus ever) kept any text about it whatsoever because we discussed it all live durning the last days of school which was also a heatwave. and now we dont remember. so here is what we think we meant? at least things we managed to piece together on a 1.5 hour phone call. well have some never released mycelium RPG au art as well somewhere under the cut. first one made by aku. geniuely what made you remember that its been over a year now and there were only two loose idea posts about it. well do whatever you want with this
there were probably 5 endings, each corresponding to one of the characters (except for jimmy who dies early on and is a wake up call of sorts for grian)
pearl ending (bad ending) - pearl kills grian (player character) in the bossfight, wins and destroys the earth in her attempt to eradicate mycelium the martyn ending (neutral ending) - grian beats pearl (doesnt kill her) and becomes the personification of infection/mycelium (he is always the one to deal the final blow, as that is what ascends him to godhood. martyn knows this, hes using him as a sacrificial lamb); he becomes mother spore and gets backstabbed by martyn, who then kills him permamently using the special item we simply called "the weapon", which saves the earth from the mycelium apocalypse
big b ending (attainable through high relationship points with him) - martyn dies (somehow), grian doesnt become mother spore and instead gets mercy killed by him before the infection finishes him off. there is no pearl fight. he sets off to manually purify the earth as that is the power he has as what we called "pearls paladin" for simplicity
mother spore ending (attainable through high relationship points with martyn) - plays off normally, except martyn hesitates before killing grian (now mother spore), ending in his failure and death. mother spore is the last one left and infection thrives
scar ending (attainable through high relationship points with him): well this one is tricky as scar is a 4th wall breaking character. he knows whats going on at all times and that it is a game. to get it you need to get high relationship points with him, but also play the game at least once - otherwise things get awkward as he "doesnt really know you (grian and/or the player)". The choices required to gather the points go against every other character, and the correct answers to his dialogue options would be hidden in the game files somewhere; in general scar would have a "notebook" in the game files talking about different things. his relationship points dont reset with every savefile reset. once all requirements are met he can be invited into the party, but he declines and instead gives grian "the weapon", which he uses to permamently kill pearl, which also ends the world for everyone except grian and scar. i remember that scar considers it the good ending, because it takes a lot of preparation and therefore its an active choice grian/you make to make it happen, so its just... exactly what grian/you wanted
#not maintagging or anything i cant stand to look at this au anymore. but this would not let me rest
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
One Year - BuckTommy - 8x06 fix it
Summary: This is my fix-it because I for one can't take that break up being the end. So, it takes a while, but they belong together. Words: 6k Read on Ao3
-
The first time he saw Evan again, it was from afar. It had been a couple of weeks. They were at the same call, Tommy somehow winding up on the ground. He spotted Evan walking next to Eddie with Howie and Hen just ahead of them, heard their voices despite how loud everything was. He kept his distance, and only once ran into someone from the 118. Ravi, who gave him a smile and nod.Â
The next time, it was at one of the badge and ladder bars. Lucy had forced him to go. Had she not been holding his arm, he would have turned and fled. Instead he saw Evan throw back a shot and then walk over to some guy whose physique told Tommy he had to be a firefighter. He saw as Evan said something that made the other guy laugh and then they were getting drinks together andâŠand Lucy took him out the door while he tried to catch a breath.Â
Tommy wasnât new to a break upâŠit was just that this one was hitting harder than any before.Â
Before Evan, there had been three boyfriends. Before and in between were hookups and one-night stands and even some friends with benefits that popped in and out of his life. Heâd come out when he was in his early thirties, around the same age as Evan. Of course, for Tommy it had been different. Heâd been hiding it from everyone and even from himself.Â
In the army, he and some other guys had had a bit of fun. Masturbating together and pretending it was all fine and heterosexual because they werenât touching each other. Heâd exchanged one or two blowjobs here or there like an exchange of favors with guys that had girlfriends waiting for them back home. He lied and told them he had a girl too. Pretended he didnât like giving as much as he liked receiving.Â
Things were much the same when he was at the 118, except that pretending he had a girlfriend was harder. He even tried to date women. AbbyâŠheâd met Abby when the 118 went to a call about her mother. Sheâd almost burnt down her whole house by forgetting to turn off a stove and looking back that had definitely been an early sign of her dementia. Abby was nice and Tommy couldnât deny that he got along with her and it helped that she understood how busy his job kept him and what his hours were like.Â
Dating Abby was the first time he felt like maybe he could do it. Marry the girl. Have some kids. Lie to himself and the world forever. As unfair as it was to Abby, it justâŠTommy could tell that it might work. It was why they got engaged. It was why he was so sure about getting married but then there were guys he met on calls or that he checked out from time to time and he didnât think he would ever be able to put that away. Instead, he would wind up cheating on Abby and making the hurt worse. So, he broke it off and felt horrible when he realized that Abby had gotten the blow of her momâs dementia diagnosis.
After Abby, Tommy went a little wild. He slept around. Found out more about himself. Knew that he could never do what he did to Abby to any other woman. He heard at some point about Abby taking up with a younger guy. In what universe could Tommy have expected that years later he would date the same guy.Â
One night, he ran into Karen at a Target of all places. Tommy was there to pick up detergent and he was just deciding between brand name or the store brand and also trying his hardest to not buy the brand he knew that Evan used, when a cart bumped into his.Â
âIâm so sorry,â Karen said.Â
He looked up slowly.Â
âTommy,â Karen said warmly. âHi.âÂ
Behind her came Denny and Mara. Mara heâd only met a handful of times and he knew her to be a little shy. Denny smiled at him.Â
âHi, Tommy.â
âOh. Hi,â Tommy said. âYou got your cast off.âÂ
Denny nodded. âA little while ago.âÂ
He remembered sitting in that hospital waiting room and how heâd tagged along to Dennyâs room and hadnât expected that Denny would want him to sign his cast seeing as he was all but a stranger, but Denny did offer him the marker and Tommy did sign.
Despite wanting to, he didnât ask about Evan. He hardly managed to ask about Hen.Â
âSheâs good,â Karen said and then, âhey, listen, you donât have to be a stranger.âÂ
He offered her a tight smile.Â
âIâm serious. Hey, how about dinner soon?â
He shrugged and Karen insisted, pulling out her phone and throwing dates at him until he agreed.Â
Before she left, Karen grabbed his arm. âI donât know what happened, no one really does, Hen says he doesnât want to talk about it. You donât have to talk about it, if you donât want to, but that doesnât mean youâre not our friend still, Alright? That doesnât just go for Hen and I, either.âÂ
Eddie had reached out the day after. The day after that too. And the one after that one. Then it was weekly. Then it was bi-weekly. Then came a final message. A voicemail. Tommy almost didnât listen to it.Â
âHey, man,â Eddie said. âI guess you decided to cut all ties. I get it. Kind of. And look, Buck is my friend, but you are too and I donât drop my friends. I know youâre hurting too, so donât be afraid to reach out. Iâm here for whenever youâre ready.âÂ
Tommy never called him. He thought about it. Almost texted him several times. He missed Eddie.Â
He missed their easy friendship and the way that Eddie had welcomed him so wholly. He just couldnât face him because Eddie would give it all away about how Evan was doing and Tommy wouldnât be able to keep his own feelings in. It would burst out and then Eddie would know just how horrible Tommy really felt and how regretful too.Â
He did regret it.Â
He hated himself.Â
Tommy went to dinner with Hen and Karen. It was good. Fun, even. Neither of them asked and Tommy didnât offer any information. Instead, he got to hear about Maraâs adoption going through finally and about how Maddie was pregnant and doing really well. He tried not to think about Evan becoming an uncle for the second time and how excited he had to be over it. They exchanged Lucy stories and then stories from way back when Tommy was in the 118. Tommy promised they would do dinner again.Â
The next time he ran into Evan, it had been more time than they had even been together. Tommy shouldnât still be mourning the end of the relationship and yetâŠof course he was. Of course he still missed Evan desperately. So much for waylaying a heartbreak, there hadnât been stopping that apparently and seeing Evan was like having someone reach right into his chest and squeeze.Â
The first guy that he ever called boyfriend was a guy named Ivan. Ivan was a little olderâŠokay, much older, and Tommy thought he was in love. Figured that was it and that he and Ivan could be forever. When Ivan broke it off because he met someone else, Tommy was devastated.Â
âTommy, Iâm your first boyfriend, of course this wasnât going to last. I always thought we were on the same page and that this was a bit of fun.âÂ
A month or so later, Tommy realized that Ivan was right. He wasnât torn up and he hadnât been in love as much as wanting the security of the relationship because it meant he didnât need to keep looking for love. Heâd gotten comfortable with Ivan, but what they hadnât wasnât something that would last no matter how much Tommy had thought it was what he wanted.Â
The second guy came a year or so later. Paul was younger and Tommy met him while they were on a call. When Paul came by with muffins a few days later they got talking and Paul admitted that he was nervous but heâd wanted to see Tommy again. They had a few dates and then Tommy was rushing in with Paul. They spent every moment together and then moved in together too.Â
When they broke up right before their one year anniversary, it was because Paul admitted that he never thought his first real relationship with a guy could be his last and that he had more options to explore.Â
âTommy, you were amazing. You will always be so important to me, but Iâm not in love with you.âÂ
Somehow, that still hurt less than Evan and Tommy only had himself to blame for that.Â
He saw Evan at a farmerâs market. He was with Jee-Yun who skipped ahead of him laughing. Evan was smiling after her. Tommy didnât mean to follow, but he did keep his distance. Saw Evan buy a few things and smile at the girl that sold them to him, saw him stop at a stand selling apple cider, the man behind the counter blond and tall and bulky. Hot. His eyes were hazel and he was smiling at Evan and ignoring anyone else that approached. Evan was smiling back and doing that thing where he ducked his head bashfully before looking up through his eyelashes. Tommyâs heart ached.Â
Tommy walked away from that. He turned and he walked until he was back at his car and then he sat there in his truck and let his mind wander because what if Evan asked that guy out? Or the girl? What if one of them wasnât dumb like Tommy and stuck around and refused to let Evan go. What if Tommy never got a chance toâŠbut heâd already blown his chance with Evan and he doubted there would ever be another.Â
When he got to his shift later, Lucy took one look at him.
âHey, you okay?âÂ
âI donât think Iâve been okay for months.âÂ
Lucy hugged him. âAre you ever going to tell me what happened?â she asked.Â
He shook his head.Â
It was hard to even admit to himself how much heâd screwed up and how much heâd allowed his fear to color how he faced Evan wanting more than what they already had. Heâd been unprepared when Evan brought it up and then it had been the Abby of it all and the way that Tommy knew he couldnât expect for Evan to settle for him. That just wasnât how it worked. He was the first, but not the last. Tommy just wasnât good enough to be Evanâs last and it was something that Evan would figure out sooner or later. So why wait for their whole lives to get even more entwined and for everything to be so much harder when it all fell apart.Â
One night, when Lucy showed up at his house to hang out, she had tried to bad-talk Evan as if that would help. It was the night she dropped information that Tommy hadnât known and wasnât it wild how much he and Evan had inadvertently not shared. Six months and they hadnât talked about anything at all, apparently.Â
Lucy and Evan had kissed once while drunk at a bar.Â
The jealousy that hit him wasâŠTommy wasnât usually a jealous guy and yet the very idea made him cringe and maybe he downed two shots back to back.Â
âI kissed him,â Lucy said. âHe didnât push me away and I had no idea that he had a girlfriend at the time.â
It didnât make him think badly of Evan, not the way that Lucy maybe intended. It justâŠit made Tommy wonder about how it would have gone if he was right. Would Evan have cheated on him once he realized he wanted more than what Tommy was willing to offer. But noâŠno, that wasnât Evan was it? No, Evan would have stuck it out even when he got miserable and didnât want to anymore and then Tommy would have had to say something and end it.Â
âWhat happened after that?â Tommy had asked.Â
âBetween me and Buck? Nothing. Iâm just saying, he isnât this perfect guy either.â
As if Tommy didnât know that, as if Tommy hadnât seen exactly who Evan was from the get go. He was a mess, he was jealous, impulsive, he believed in curses, got pouty when he didnât get his way. Evan was far from perfect, but Tommy had loved him because of it. He saw how much of the bad was still good or maybe not even bad at all.Â
Lucy did leave him thinking about how they had never discussed exes until Abby and how maybe they should have. He wondered if Evan would have even brought up the Lucy of it all. He wondered how he would have taken Tommyâs own exesâŠIvan and Paul andâŠand Henry.Â
Henry was the last boyfriend before Evan. Gorgeous Henry who began as a friend and then started to get a bit flirty and who kissed Tommy for the first time at a New Years Eve party and then freaked out because Tommy was a guy.Â
Weeks of not talking and Tommy not being able to stop thinking about him to an obsessive degree. How on Valentineâs day, he was surprised when red roses and chocolate was delivered to Harbor from Henry to Tommy and a simple note asking him out. Heâd gotten so much shit for that, but Tommy had secretly loved it. The romance of it all, the sweetness. Henry had been so sweet.Â
Henry who told Tommy that he was sorry but he had no idea guys were an option for him and how he couldnât deny how much he wanted Tommy. They had long conversations about it and Tommy took it so slow that they didnât even have sex for the first two months.Â
Tommy didnât realize that their feelings were different. Tommy had been crushing on Henry even before the kiss and then he had him. Henry had been mystified by Tommy and his attraction to him, but it wasnât long before his eyes started to wander. Tommy had bought his house right before they started dating and when Henryâs roommate situation got a bit difficult he welcomed him right in. It had felt like the start of the rest of their lives. That had been a mistake.Â
Tommy had been so blind. Looking back, the red flags had been evident. Heâd been blinded by love and friendship and daydreams about a future he thought was within his grasp. Then, one night, when he managed to sprain an ankle, Tommy was first taken to the hospital and then sent home a whole thirteen hours earlier than expected. Henry hadnât answered his calls, so Tommy got back home on his own. He found Henry in bed with a woman.Â
The last time he saw Henry, it was when Henry picked up the last of his things and when Henry made his apologies and excuses it felt like Ivan and Paul before him.Â
Tommy was never enough. Not enough. Always the placeholder for something or someone better.Â
âWhy not just break up with me?â Tommy remembered asking.Â
âI didnât know how. You were soâŠIâm sorry, Tommy. I guess Iâm not done trying to figure out what I want.âÂ
The one thing Henry had figured out was that Tommy was not what he wanted.Â
He did cry after Henry and then he threw himself into work and downloaded an app or two and didnât try to date seriously. He had friends to call on lonely nights and then he could hit up a bar and find someone that way. Tommy had all but convinced him that it was all heâd ever have, until he met a firefighter with a cute birthmark who Tommy kissed without having planned to and who he almost wrote off after the first date and was so glad he didnât. Breaking up with Evan was hitting harder than anyone that came before.Â
Evan was different. He had burrowed deep in his heart and there was no getting him out. Tommy didnât think he wanted him out.Â
A few weeks later, he saw Eddie at the mall and with him was Christopher. He looked taller than the last time Tommy had seen him, and he was in LA. Eddie looked happy. Of course, he was happy. Tommy hated that he didnât know when Chris had returned or how Eddie had won him over again.Â
âTommy,â Eddie said.Â
âTommy,â Christopher said.Â
Had it been just Eddie, Tommy might have ignored them. Instead, he turned around.Â
âHi,â he said.Â
âHey,â Eddie said with a smile.Â
âHi, Tommy,â Christopher said.Â
âHey, kid, nice to see you back in LA.âÂ
Chris gave him a rundown of his time in Texas. He talked about the friends he made and his cousins and grandparents, but how Eddie had gone to see him and then Chris decided to come back with him.Â
It was nice to talk to Chris and then to follow Eddie and Chris into one of the stores. Chris got distracted then, and Eddie turned to Tommy.Â
âHow are you really?âÂ
âItâs been months,â Tommy said.Â
âI know. You never called me back. You should have,â Eddie said.Â
âI couldnât,â Tommy said. âYouâreâŠhow is he, Eddie?âÂ
Eddie took in a breath. âLook, I donât think I should answer that. Buck is coping. Heâs doingâŠwhat did he call it, heâs exploring. Apparently, itâs what you told him he needed to do.â Eddieâs look was pointed. Full of judgment.Â
Tommy had to look away, he had to hope that his eyes wouldnât fill up with tears. That night, right after he left Evanâs place, Tommy didnât even remember how he got home. He did remember that heâd gone for his usual comforts. A shot of whiskey, a case of beer, and heâd tried to watch a movie and failed miserably. Hadnât been able to watch romantic comedies since. Documentaries were out too.Â
âDad,â Christopher called.Â
âI â Iâll leave you to it,â Tommy said.Â
Eddie grabbed his shoulder. âWait. No. JustâŠletâs hang out. You can come over or I can come over. We could sparr or get a drink. Weâre still friends, Tommy. Iâm serious.âÂ
âOkay.âÂ
Eddie called him that night and Tommy couldnât say no to having Eddie come over to his place. They didnât talk about Evan the whole time, not until Eddie was getting ready to leave.Â
âI want to say something because Iâm your friend and Buckâs friend. What you did was really stupid and I never thought you were stupid. If this was the way you always saw it going, why did you waste his time? Why did you let him fall for you? And I know you hurt yourself too, Tommy, I can see it all over you. So why? JustâŠanswer that.âÂ
Eddie didnât even let him reply before he left.Â
Why did Tommy do that? Because even a minute of knowing Evan was worth it. Ending it early was justâŠheâd expected it to help because he had control and he was making the call and then he wouldnât be devastated. It was a little late for it, apparently, at least on his end.Â
âHeâs exploring,â he said out loud. Eddieâs words.Â
What had Tommy expected. God, he really was an idiot.Â
A week later he was at a call that the 118 was present for as well. He tried to stay well clear of them, but he couldnât help but look for Evan. It was like being a moth drawn to light and of course Evan was his light.Â
Heâd overheard Lucy and Melton talking on his first shift after his talk with Eddie and Melton had said everyone had a regret in love, that everyone had someone they let go of or who let them go that always left what ifs. Evan wasnât a regret, Tommy would never regret him. What he regretted was that Tommy had allowed fear and his own baggage to cloud things and destroy what he and Evan had.Â
Of course, a part of him did still wonder if he had been right. Every relationship came with risk, and Evan having just realized he was into men as much as women, it wasnât farfetched to think that one day he might think that heâd settled into something with Tommy far too quickly without really knowing for sure it was what he wanted. Evan hadnât denied that either, he hadnât tried to stop Tommy leaving. He hadnât reached out. He hadnât even asked for any of his things back â granted neither had Tommy.Â
Tommy had everything that Evan had ever left as his house in the drawer that had been Evanâs. Or hanging on his coat rack. In his bathroom. In his kitchen. He hadnât had the heart to remove any of it and sometimes when he was really tired or when heâd hit the booze a little hard with Lucy, he could even convince himself that it was there waiting for Evan.Â
The call rang long, the fire blazing for a while and worse people stuck inside on the higher floors. Tommy was helping on the ground on a hose, he knew the 118 was helping with evacuation along with the 133 and somehow they did manage to get everyone out and they did manage to get the flames put out. Tommy wouldnât admit it, but he spent most of the call with his heart in his throat hoping that Evan stayed safe and that nothing went wrong.Â
They were just getting back to the truck when he saw Evan a little soot covered, but smiling. He was talking to a reporter. Red hair, pale skin, skinny and pretty. He kept talking to her even after the camera man brought the camera down.Â
âThatâs Taylor Kelly,â Lucy said and she pushed him to keep moving.Â
Taylor Kelly the reporter. Taylor Kelly who was Evanâs ex. Taylor who Evan had cheated on with Lucy. When he turned back to look once more they were no longer talking.Â
âI donât get why you havenât reached out to him,â Lucy said.Â
âHeâs a coward,â Melton said.Â
âItâs been how many months now and youâre not over him. Do you want me to find out if heâs seeing anyone? Maybe you still have a shot. Weâve never seen you like this before and at first it was I guess normal. Now itâs a bit depressing. What happened, Tommy?âÂ
âWhat happened is Melton is right and I am a coward,â Tommy said and then he climbed into the truck and looked away from them, glad when they didnât talk to him the whole way back to Harbor.Â
He heard about Maddie giving birth from Hen. It was a passing comment one night when he went over for dinner and Tommy found himself mourning that he hadnât been there for Evan through all of it, especially because as Karen told it, Maddie had had a hard labor.Â
He was shown pictures from Henâs phone. The baby was tiny and already had a tuft of dark hair. He scrolled through pictures and then there he was. Evan holding the baby in his arms, the baby looking even smaller tucked right into the crook of Evanâs elbow and Evan smiling down with so much awe and love. It hurt to look at him, but Tommy couldnât stop.Â
So maybe there had been times when Tommy allowed himself to think about a future where he and Evan stayed together, one where they were married and decided they should be parents too. Heâd seen Evan around kids too often, knew Evan would want to be a dad. Tommy had never longed for that or anything, but with Evan he would have wanted it. That was all gone now.Â
âOh,â Karen said. âSorry. I forgotâŠâ
Tommy forced himself to flip to the next picture. Another shot of Evan, this time he was looking up with the bluest glassiest eyes. He missed him. He missed him so damn much and it wasnât fair how much.Â
âTommy,â Karen said. âHey, are you alright?âÂ
âI miss him,â Tommy said.Â
âIâm pretty sure he misses you too,â Hen said. âDo you want to talk about it?âÂ
âDo you have anything stronger?âÂ
Hen didnât mince words. She told him point blank about how after the break up, Evan had tried to act like he was alright. Then, heâd just started to do anything he could in order to keep busy.Â
âHe started baking,â Hen said. âThen he started doing yoga. He started rock climbing. I think he even took an art class. Anyway, it was hard to watch but I guess it was better than if he sat at home wallowing.âÂ
âLike I did,â Tommy said.Â
Karen grasped his wrist. âYou were both hurting. What happened, Tommy?âÂ
âHe asked me to move in and I said no.âÂ
âAnd you broke up over that?â Hen asked, surprised.Â
Tommy shook his head. âNo. Yes. In what world was this going to last? He only just discovered he likes men and yeah it was going well but it wasnât forever. If we moved in together, it was going to be so much harder when we broke up.âÂ
âThatâsâŠthatâs bullshit, Tommy,â Hen said. âSo, you broke his heart and yours so it wouldnât happen later on.âÂ
âI didnât break hisââ
âYou did,â Karen said.Â
âWell shouldnât he get a chance to explore what his sexuality means? Shouldnât he get to figure that out instead of settling for the first guy he dates?âÂ
âAnd what if he wasnât settling?âÂ
That kept him up all of that night. He still remembered how the conversation had gone. Evan had brought up the Abby thing and Tommy had felt put on the spot because it was the last thing he expected and then Evan had started to explain about Abby being an important relationship to him and how Tommy was just as important, the most important since, and all at once Tommyâs fears and insecurities had rushed forward because Evan and Abby hadnât made it and now that Tommy was this gay mentor or whatever of course it wouldnât last either. He tried to explain that to Hen and Karen and they both looked at him like he was the one that didnât get it.Â
âYou need to talk to him,â Hen said. âFor both your sakes.âÂ
âI donât know if I can,â Tommy admitted.Â
Exactly a year after it happened, he saw Evan again.Â
Tommy had gone out to a gay bar because he couldnât stay home and wallow. Lucy had also told him that he needed to put himself out there again. That if he wasnât going to talk to Evan, then he needed to talk to someone that might give him a reason to move on. He really didnât want to, but at the same time his right hand was getting tired and maybe some release of a carnal nature was what Tommy needed. No one had said it, but they had all kind of implied that Evan had at least gotten out there.Â
He and Evan had gone to that bar once, gotten a drink and then danced a little before calling it a night and heading back to Evanâs, both of them eager to get up to Evanâs bedroom. He remembered seeing more than a few eyes looking at Evan with interest and how it had made something inside him churn because Tommy had known that if Evan was on the market again he wouldnât have a hard time finding someone that was interested in him.Â
Finding himself a free spot at the bar, Tommy ordered a beer and he tried not to think about the first few times that Tommy had gone into a gay bar and how nervous heâd been to actually put himself out there like that.Â
âHi, handsome,â a male voice said before Tommy had even gotten his beer.Â
Tommy turned. âHello.âÂ
The guy had floppy hair. He was lanky and thin, could probably be called a twink. He was also way too young for Tommy, probably not even in his mid-twenties.Â
âSo,â the twink said, hand reaching to touch Tommyâs chest right where the V of his shirt ended. âWant to have some fun?â He wiggled his eyebrows and licked his lips and his hand climbed to Tommyâs neck.Â
âSorry,â Tommy said. âThatâs not why Iâm here.âÂ
âBoo,â the guy said, hand dropping away, âSo why are you here?âÂ
âA drink,â Tommy said decisively because he knew that even if someone age appropriate were to approach him, he wouldnât have been interested. They werenât Evan.Â
âOh, well. It was worth trying. Though, I donât usually get turned down twice in one night.âÂ
âWhatâs your name?â Tommy asked.Â
âOwen.âÂ
âWell, Owen, it looks to me like there are plenty of fishes in the sea. Third time might be the charm. To be honest, youâre way too young for me and Iâm stillâŠIâm hung up on my ex.âÂ
Owen took a look around, but he turned back to Tommy. âBad break up? Did he break your heart?âÂ
âMore like I broke his and mine. Such an idiot.âÂ
âBut, hey, youâre still hot. I could help you forget for a few hours.âÂ
Tommy laughed.Â
Owen grinned. âNot ready for that. Must have been quite the guy.âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
Owen wandered off and Tommy watched him strike up a conversation with another guy, someone a little closer to his age. They seemed to hit it off and next time he saw them they were out getting lost in the crowd of bodies on the dance floor.Â
Tommy finished his beer and was about to order another when he heard a familiar voice. Down the bar he found Evan. He was turned away from Tommy looking to one of the tables where a man was waving. Tommy couldnât watch this. He couldnât see Evan flirt with someone else. He couldnât see Evan go home with that guy. He couldnât look away.Â
Evan said something to the girl behind the bar andâŠwait, did he not accept the drink? Then, he saw Evan put some money down right before finishing his beer and moving to leave.Â
Tommy did the same and he followed.Â
Evan made it out the door just ahead of him and Tommy had to get around several people, but eventually he made it to the door and then out. Evan was just outside, arms crossed over his chest, waiting.Â
âTommy,â he said.Â
His voice, the sound of his name, Tommy felt it all down to his bones.Â
âHi, Evan,â he said and he knew his voice broke on Evanâs name.Â
âItâs been a year,â Evan said.Â
The door opened behind Tommy and Tommy had to step out of the way, his eyes never leaving Evan because maybe Evan would disappear.Â
âI know,â Tommy said.Â
âItâs felt like longer,â Evan said.Â
âI know.âÂ
âI miss you,â Evan said.Â
âI miss you too.âÂ
Evan was quiet for a beat and then, âthen, why?âÂ
It was high time he stopped being a coward, high time that he stopped getting in his own way or letting the past intrude on his present.Â
âBecause Iâm the biggest idiot,â Tommy said.
Evan snorted. âYouâre not wrong.âÂ
The door opened again bringing with it a wave of music. It was Owen, arms linked with the guy heâd been dancing with. He looked between them and laughed, shaking his head as he walked past them.Â
âMaybe we should take this conversation elsewhere,â Tommy suggested.Â
Tommyâs house was closer. It felt better than going to Evanâs loft, not that it stopped Tommy from remembering how it had all gone. How heâd let the door close behind him and heâd just thought that it was the right call.Â
Evan followed him inside.Â
âYou know, it was so dumb of me to ask you to move in when youâre the one that owns his own place,â Evan said. âI was justâŠovercorrecting. Rushing. Trying to show you how much I wanted us to have a future.â
âAnd I got scared,â Tommy said and led Evan to the living room. âI was dumb too. I should never have broken up with you but, Evan, the way you were talking about Abby and me, it was like of course I was just here to be your next transformative relationship. The next thing that prepared you forâŠfor whoever came next.â
Transformative. That word had stuck around for him, he realized. The comparison Evan had made about his relationship with Abby to their relationship. He and Evan sat down.
âTommy, Iâmââ
Tommy stood. âIâll go get us some water.âÂ
He didnât wait for Evan to respond. As soon as he was out of the room he took a few breaths. What were they doing here? What were either of them hoping to accomplish? Did Evan want to get back together? Was thatâŠwas that the right move?Â
Twelve months. It had been double the amount of time that their relationship had lasted and Tommy ached for Evan. He longed for him. He still hadnât gotten rid of any of the things that reminded him of Evan or the things that belonged to Evan either. Hell, he hadnât even let anyone take over or make their own mark.Â
âTommy?â Evan called you. âDo you want me to come to the kitchen?âÂ
âIâll be right back.âÂ
He grabbed and filled glasses.Â
Evan had started pacing the floor. He looked distraught. Tommy wanted to grab his hands and hug him, instead he set down the water.Â
âWe never talked about our exes,â Tommy said.Â
Evanâs gaze snapped towards him. âNo, I guess we didnât.â
âCome, sit,â Tommy said and motioned to the couch. âEvan, I think I let my past decide my future and clearly I was wrong and this last year has been miserable. Iâve missed you every day and I thought walking away was the right thing for you, but it was definitely the wrong thing for me and I justââ
He didnât expect Evan to kiss him, but thatâs what Evan did. It didnât last long and Tommy wanted to pull him right into another kiss because it had been a year since the last time he kissed him â the last time heâd kissed anybody.Â
âEvan,â he said.Â
âI learned a year and a half ago that was one way of getting someoneâs attention,â Evan said. âIâve been miserable too. I hated this last year and I missed you and as much as I wanted to hate you I just love you too much.âÂ
Then, they were kissing again and Tommy was pressed back against his couch, Evan practically crawling into his lap. His arms were around Evan again and he really hadnât thought that he would ever have this again, but Evan was there and he smelled amazing and he felt amazing and their lips slotted together perfectly.Â
Tommy didnât even realize he was crying until Evan pulled back and his hands were brushing away his tears and then kissing his cheeks. His nose.Â
âI love you,â Evan said. âIâm in love with you.âÂ
His heart was soaring and he reached to cup Evanâs cheeks. âGood, because I love you too.âÂ
Evan smiled wide at him, pecked his lips and then just hugged him. Held him. Tommy held him back.Â
âWeâll have to talk about it,â Tommy said. âI want to explain. I wantââ
âLater,â Evan said. âRight now, I just wantâŠI want to bask in this. In us.âÂ
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
Guilty Pleasure | Haku Shota
Coming home early to surprise your boyfriend takes a turn when you find out he's got a surprise for you insteadâŠ
đ Pairing: boyfriend!hakushota x reader
đ Word Count: 2.8k
đ Genre: Established relationship, smut, pwp, fluff
đ Rating: 18+
đ Warnings: Explicit language, mention of masturbation, Shota likes to wear reader's clothes, Shota in a skirt, making out, groping, biting, marking, hair pulling, grinding, explicit sexual content, oral sex (f receiving), scratching, praise, Shota is a good boyâąïž, multiple orgasms, cum eating, skirt stays on during sex, sub!Shota, needy/whiny Shota, unprotected sex (pls be safe âŒïž), riding, crying, choking kink, soft ending as per my brand đââïž
A/N: So this is a surprise gift for my best friend @hakuheartsoul đđđ Thank you for never giving up on me even when I give up on myself, both in life and in writing đ„ș There's no one else I would rather be writing with and for and I feel so lucky that not only are you my very best friend but also one of my fave writers ever đ„č Make sure to go read Skye's fics and support them they literally deserve the world and are such an incredible writer and storyteller đ„° Not exaggerating when I say their Keeho fic literally changed my life đđ» And thank you so much to everyone who's been reading my stuff on here and supporting me it means so so much đ„șđ©”đ©” Hope you enjoy my debut Shota fic đ«¶đ»
Masterlist
You felt nothing short of absolutely giddy as you walked up to your apartment door. You had decided to come home early to surprise your boyfriend with dinner from your favorite takeout place. You hated how the two of you hadnât been able to spend much time together lately, and youâd been missing him like crazy. You couldnât wait to finally be able to share a meal together, and then spend the rest of the night hopefully cuddling and watching a movie or playing a game. Or whatever your boyfriend felt like doing. You honestly didnât care as long as you got to be with him.
You couldnât help but smile to yourself as you inserted your key and unlocked the door to your shared apartment. You expected to see your boyfriend as soon as you walked in, but the living and dining room both showed zero sign of his presence. You carefully set the food down on your dining table before calling out for your boyfriend, âSho? Baby, are you home?â
âY/N? Shit, hang on. Be out in just a second, baby.â he called back from your bedroom.
You just laughed and shook your head, following his voice to your shared room. You were dying of curiosity to know what was keeping him. It briefly crossed your mind that maybe he had been getting himself off, but you had never known him to be shy about you catching him in the act. Usually, he was more than happy for you to walk in because you would either help him out, or you would just watch him and it would spur him on that much more. Heat pooled low in your belly just at the thought.
You slowly poked your head into the open doorway, a gasp slipping out from between your lips at the sight that greeted you. Shotaâs eyes went wide, his whole face flushing crimson as he stumbled over to where you were standing.
âBaby, wait, I swear I can explain. I didnât think you would be home for hours, and fuck, this is so embarrassing.â your boyfriend groaned before pressing his palms to his eyes.
You were immediately reaching for him and gently pulling his hands away from his face. He was blushing so hard, and his eyes looked everywhere but at you. Your heart squeezed in your chest with affection.
âLove,â you said softly, still holding his hands, âwhy are you embarrassed?â
âYou must think this is so weird.â he mumbled, his lips forming a frustrated pout.
âSho, look at me.â
His eyes reluctantly met your own.
âBaby, I promise, I donât think itâs weird. You just surprised me a little is all. I had no idea this was something you liked to do.â
It appeared your boyfriend had been raiding your closet as well as your jewelry and makeup while you were at work. You had walked in on him wearing one of your black mini skirts with his black shirt that was sleeveless on one side tucked into the waistband. He also had your black chain choker hanging from his neck, and you recognized some of your eye shadow, eyeliner, and blush adorning his features. Your boyfriend sighed before speaking again, âI just got bored one day and wanted to try on some of your stuff for fun. But then I actually ended up liking how it looked, and, yeahâŠâ
You dropped his hands before cupping his flushed cheeks.
âSho, Iâm not upset. You know that, right?â you asked him as your thumbs lightly stroked over his skin.
âYouâre not?â he queried back, and your heart nearly broke at the genuine concern in his voice.
You leaned forward to briefly brush your lips against his own in reassurance.
âNo, baby, not at all. I just wasnât expecting it. I came home to surprise you, but you surprised me instead. It was a nice little surprise too. I like seeing you in my clothes, love.â you murmured against his mouth.
Shota stole another kiss from you, making you giggle.
âYou do?â he inquired, and you could feel him smiling.
You let your hands trail down to rest on his hips, bunching up the skirt in your fists. You hummed contentedly, âYes, Sho. Look so pretty, baby.â
âIâm so happy youâre home. Iâve missed you so much.âÂ
He rested his forehead against yours, and you felt something in your chest loosen. It had been way too long since youâd had him close like this. His fingers were sliding up and down your bare arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
âIâve missed you too, Sho. So fucking much.â you told him before tugging his body flush against you and reconnecting your lips in a much more heated kiss this time.
Shota groaned into your mouth, your tongue easily slipping inside to taste him properly. You could already feel him starting to harden against you, even through your skirt, and it was making you grow wetter by the second. Your boyfriendâs hands were all over you now, greedily brushing over your neck before traveling lower to slip under your shirt. You nipped at his lips when he made a grab for your still covered breasts. His fingers easily slid around to your back to undo the clasp in one fluid motion. You felt him pulling at the bottom of your shirt a moment later.
âTakeâŠoffâŠpleaseâŠâ he whined into your mouth, âWanna see youâŠâ
You chuckled slightly against his lips before taking a step back to shrug off your blazer.
âSomeoneâs eager today.â you teased him before lifting your shirt over your head.
Shota let out a soft moan as his dark eyes drank you in. You smirked, holding his gaze while you slowly slid your pants down your legs, leaving you in just your panties that were practically sticking to you at this point.
âFuck. Baby, are you trying to kill me?â he grumbled while palming himself over the skirt, the sight making you feel borderline feral.
You crossed the space between you, pushing him down onto the bed before settling yourself in his lap. Your boyfriendâs mouth was immediately on you, leaving rough, wet kisses all over your neck and shoulders.
âSho.â you sighed out, your fingers burying themselves in his long dark locks.
His strong arms wrapped around your back, holding you close as his lips ghosted over the tops of your breasts.
âYouâre so beautiful, love.â Shota whispered against your skin, and you involuntarily rolled your hips forward.
He was fully hard now, and he hissed when you brushed against him. The stimulation wasnât nearly enough with Shotaâs skirt and your panties still in the way, but you were quickly forgetting about that when your boyfriend suddenly sucked one of your nipples into the warmth of his mouth.
âFuuuuuck, Sho.â
His tongue teasingly flicked over your bud, and you jerked in his hold. You could feel Shota smiling as he continued making you squirm in his lap. His hands settled underneath your ass, and before you could even process what was happening, he had flipped you around so that you were now seated on the bed. Your head literally felt like it was spinning as you watched your boyfriend kneel in between your legs, the bottom of his skirt just barely brushing against the floor.
He looked up at you as he leaned forward to drag his tongue from your knee all the way up to your inner thigh, and your hands desperately gripped the sheets on either side of you. Shota pushed your legs further apart, holding them open while he sucked spots of color into your skin.
âOh my god, Shota.â you moaned, your head falling back slightly.
When you tried to face forward again, something in the background caught your eye. You could see the abandoned dinner still sitting on the table through the open doorway. Your boyfriend clearly didnât appreciate you getting distracted, his teeth sinking into your thigh to redirect your attention. You yelped, Shota looking back at you mischievously as his tongue soothed over the bite mark.
âSho, baby, I, fuck, I picked up dinner from our favorite place. Maybe we should pause and eat before it gets cold.â you tried suggesting, but mainly you were just panting out words.
The man between your legs turned his head to look where your attention had been focused just moments before. You got ready to stand up from the bed, but Shotaâs hands dug into your thighs harshly, holding you in place. When he looked back at you, there was something truly wicked in his eyes.
âSho?â
âYou donât have to worry about me, baby. Iâm getting ready to eat right now.â
He gave you a knowing look, and you clenched around nothing. His face hovered in front of your covered core, making your legs begin to tremble slightly.
âAnd fuck, Iâm starving.â your boyfriend practically growled out before fully burying his face in the fabric, tonguing at you through the material.
âFuck!â you cried out, clenching the sheets in a death grip.
He shamelessly sucked on your panties, tongue bumping against your clit and making your breath hitch. You started instinctively grinding against his face, your thin, soaked underwear barely serving as a barrier anymore. Shota finally pulled the garment to the side and put his mouth on you fully, and you jolted above him. Your thighs threatened to close around his head, and you didnât miss the way the muscles in his arms strained to hold you open for him as his tongue dipped past your folds.
âFuck, baby, love this cunt.â Shota hummed against you, âAlways taste so sweet for me.â
The way his tongue hungrily fucked into you let you know just how much he had been missing you lately. He ate you out like he had something to prove. And whatever it was, he definitely was getting his point across.
Your fingers released the bed sheets, instead finding home in his hair as you held him against you. Shota grunted into your core, his nose brushing against your swollen bud, making your nails scrape against his scalp. Your legs spasmed in his hold, and one of your feet suddenly brushed over the erection straining against your skirt. Your boyfriend moaned between your legs as you pressed your foot against him harder. It was the only way you could reciprocate at the moment, but the way his hips bucked against your touch told you it was definitely having an effect on him.
âSho, baby, fuck. Always so good for me, love. Such a good fucking boy.â you praised him, and he groaned into your cunt in response.
âShit. Love being your good boy. Always wanna be good for you, baby.â
He really emphasized his words when his lips wrapped around your clit, making you start to see stars.
âFuck. Shota. Oh my god.â
You glanced down and could see hand prints starting to form across your skin from how hard he was gripping your thighs. His tongue steadily flicked over your bud, and your hips rolled harshly against his face. The next time your foot applied pressure to his groin, you felt a small wet spot through the skirt. Knowing that you were both equally getting off on this had you moaning obscenely above him.
You were so close, and the moment Shota decided to sneak a peek up at you, his mouth still sucking at your clit, you were fucked. The drunk, fucked out look on his face paired with your makeup smeared underneath his eyes had you coming almost instantly.
Your boyfriend took his time lapping up your release, until you grew too sensitive and pushed his head away. You were still trying to come down from your incredible high as he got to his feet to stand in front of you. You could immediately see the small stained spot on the skirt, his cock tenting the fabric and making you groan at the sight.
Shota was in a total daze as you reached for him to pull him down to claim his mouth. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he weakly licked into your mouth. You tugged his bottom lip with your teeth, âClothes off, baby. On your back for me. Gonna fuck you, Sho. Gonna make my good boy feel so fucking good.â
Your boyfriend whimpered, and you felt the shiver that ran through him. He clumsily pulled his shirt over his head, and your eyes ogled his muscular torso. He was so hot. And sometimes you couldnât believe he was all yours.
His hands went to the waistband of your skirt, and before you could stop yourself, your own hands were shooting out to halt his movements. Shota looked down at you with questioning eyes.
âLeave it on.â you instructed simply, but firmly, feeling nearly possessed by the desire coursing through you.
Your boyfriendâs entire face flushed at the command, and you needed him so bad, you could barely stand it. His cheeks got pinker and pinker as he shyly slid his boxers out from under the skirt and down his legs. You were practically salivating as you gestured for him to lay back on the bed. He situated himself, refusing to look at you as your eyes raked down his body.
âFuck, Sho. You look so perfect like this, baby. So pretty in my clothes, love.â
He finally tried to meet your eyes, the flush on his face immediately spreading down his neck and chest. His cock poked out from underneath the skirt, and he looked painfully hard. You carefully moved to straddle his waist, your hands smoothing over his hips. You dragged a finger up his body to tug at the chain around his neck, and you felt him twitch under you in response.
âYou ready for me to fuck you, baby? Make you feel good, Sho Sho.â you cooed, and the use of that particular nickname had your boyfriend letting out a whine underneath you.
âFuck, please.â came his breathless reply.
You leaned down to kiss him sweetly as you positioned yourself to hover over him. Your hands reached down to lift up the skirt to expose him fully before you started to slowly sink down onto him.
âFuckfuckfuck.â Shota hissed, his back arching off the bed slightly.
You groaned as you rolled forward, hands fisting the skirt and further bunching up the material.
âFeel so good, baby. So good for me, Sho Sho.â you murmured as you started to ride him in earnest.
Shotaâs eyes squeezed shut, turning into a moaning and panting mess underneath you. You switched to grinding on his cock, nice and slow, relishing the feeling of him inside you. Your boyfriendâs eyes fluttered open, and you immediately noticed that they were wet with tears that were threatening to spill over. One of your hands moved to slide under his choker, fingers splayed out over his throat. The moment you gave a slight squeeze, fat tears trailed down his cheeks, making his makeup even more of a mess. But all you could think was that he had never looked so beautiful.
âAre you gonna be my good boy and come for me, Sho Sho?â
He whimpered and nodded his head, fresh tears cascading down his face. You leaned down to kiss the wetness away as you picked up your pace again. Shotaâs hands were flailing at his sides, looking for something to help anchor himself. You reached out to intertwine your hands before pinning them down on either side of his head. He desperately fucked up into you as you rode him harder, panting into his mouth as you tried to chase his lips.
The way he was twitching inside you let you know that he was close, and you honestly werenât far behind him.
âFuck, love, c-close.â he whined out, chest rising and falling in rapid succession.
âThereâs my good boy. Come for me, Sho Sho.â you beckoned sweetly as you peppered kisses all over his face.
He cried out, nails digging into your joined hands. You leaned back to look down at him, and you clenched around him at the way his eyes rolled back when he came inside you. His name fell from your lips as your own orgasm crested over you. You collapsed on top of him immediately after, Shotaâs arms slowly winding around your back to hold you close.
âSo⊠I guess you really doâŠlike when I wear your clothesâŠhuh?â
You giggled, nuzzling into his neck and planting a kiss there.
âBaby, next time you wanna play dress up, please let me know. I have lots of ideas. Thereâs so much you would look good in.â
âCan I try one of your dresses next time?â he asked, voice sounding sleepy.
You moaned softly, âShota, are you trying to make me feral? Again.â
He laughed underneath you, lips brushing against your hair.
âI love you. Hey, can we go eat? Iâm actually hungry now.â
You burst into another fit of giggles.
âYouâre just insatiable today, arenât you? Yes, my love, we can go eat. I love you too, Sho. So, so much.â
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I have some more vague ideas of the stupid Transformers AU thing from last night
I think originally it was going to just fade away, but last night I decided I might as well rewatch the original FNAF timeline videos since Part 3 made me realize I didnât entirely remember what was going on, and so the mentality came back to my brain at 3 or 4 in the morning because I accidentally woke up too early
Anyways, on to random stupid ideas
So Orion is some strange entity, and quite honestly even Primus doesnât really know what he is, even though heâs pretty sure he created it. Fortunately Orionâs full cosmic horror seems to be locked away due to currently having a mortal shell. Orion just sort of popped out of the ground in the middle of nowhere
Also for some reason my brain gave me this idea that Orion has this ability to basically become a corpse for a few hours while he just chills out in some weird spirit form. I think my brain borrowed it from a concept I had seen around for Aligned continuityâs Thirteen
Also Orion is under the impression that he has amnesia, and is unaware of his weird cosmic status. He wants to know who he is but thereâs problems in finding that information, as will be detailed later
After popping out from the ground, he sort of wandered until finding himself at the mines D-16 worked in, and stumbling in there unaware of anything really happening around him
D-16 heard weird noises in his sector and went to check it out, only to find Orion in some equipment and they both sort of freaked out at the sight of each other, D might have punched him out of reflex and shock, and Orion accidentally went corpse mode
D-16 now thinks he just accidentally killed this bot, which is made worse when he gets a good look at him and is 99% sure he is a higher class bot, on account of him being much smaller than the miners and having bright colors (which here would be like a symbol of class, duller/monochrome colors means youâre likely on the bottom rungs), and then later when he hears he has an actual name instead of a number. And if someone discovers he killed a higher class bot, he is at the very least getting fired and sent to prison, which he doesnât want, so he hides the body so no one finds it and plans to dump it after his shift is over where he wonât be traced back to him
But later when heâs doing so, Orion reactivates and gives D-16 another huge scare, but this time he doesnât attack because he realizes he probably shouldnât try to repeat history, thinking maybe he was just mistaken the first time (despite him definitely looking dead)
He tries to figure out who Orion is so he can try and get him sent home (while apologizing for the whole situation), but Orion doesnât know since he doesnât really have any memories. D thinks he must have amnesia so he tries to smuggle him back somewhere until they can figure out what to do
Meanwhile Orion thinks heâs just made a friend
D first just tries sending him on a train to Iacon, but Orion refuses to leave without D, not understanding that heâs not really allowed to leave, and sneaks off the train to stay with him. He then tries to get information on Orion since he knows his name, though getting access to a database as a lowly miner is incredibly difficult, but he has no luck there since apparently Orion Pax doesnât exist. Though he figures it may just be an issue of them having a limited database. And by this point going up to the guards isnât gonna work because now heâll be arrested for âkidnappingâ a higher class bot
Basically the setup here is Orion hanging out with D-16 in the mines, with Orion trying to make his new friend happy, as he seems constantly stressed and generally miserable with his lot in life, while D-16 is trying to figure out who Orion is and how to get him back home without getting arrested
D admittedly grows to like the company of Orion, as he seems unaware of any sort of class difference between them and just genuinely wants to be his friend and be nice, but he also canât deny that Orionâs unawareness makes his life a living nightmare now and things would probably be easier for the both of them if he just got back home
Orion also has this instinctual hatred for the government that he doesnât quite understand (still a very corrupt Cybertron here), but will act upon. D-16 agrees that the government sucks, but hopes Orion doesnât get into too much trouble defying it. Because heâll be the one suffering the consequences
D-16 and the other miners are probably cogless, but theyâre much bigger than the miners in TF One, with this D being closer to Megatronâs size. Iâm not sure if Orion can transform or not though, but I do have a mental image of D just folding him up into a cube or something, harmlessly as he can easily pop out of it
I also donât know how Optimus and Megatron come out of this scenario. Best I can say is that Orion unintentionally starts driving D-16 crazy as he finds no leads on who Orion Pax is, and becomes more and more convinced he isnât actually real, or that he actually did kill him that first day and everything since has just been hallucinations and delusions. But I donât know about Optimus since becoming Optimus probably means he can no longer be this chaotic little eldritch gremlin thing
And I think thatâs about it. Now I have to go study for a quiz and probably start on that short story I have due tonight
#I donât know if anyone will care for this#but here it is#I probably wonât do much with it since again itâs just a silly little thing#transformers#transformers au#orion pax#d 16#random stuff
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
the sheer amount of anxiety tomorrowâs medical appointment has been giving me all day is astounding
#it's the bits doctor#i hate going to the bits doctor#also instead of getting there an hour early#imma get there two hours early (or more!)#because there was fuckery with the trains today#and you can never fucking risk it with public transport here#randomness#in better news i think i've written past the slump#still writing the neverending interaction#but i've changed setting and it's almost finished#and the major arguments are over#so now i sleep#because downstairs neighbor has finally shut up#why yes our apartment is so shit you can hear everything#(and i mean everything)#ANYWAY good night internet
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i wish i could say i have been working on projects but the truth is i have just been playing stardew valley again every second of free time i have bc it seems to be the only thing that keeps my mind from destroying itself atm
#ganondoodles talks#personal#though its not without feeling guilty#i have spent over 700 hours playing that game#and never gotten everything or saw the end or sth bc i keep restarting#i love the early and mid game but late game is so annoying#dont get me wrong i do like some challenge every now and then#but the quests you get later are so ........ ugh#the whole QI stuff you gotta do to earn his favor or whatever are so stupid#anyway- i feel guilty bc so mayn hours i could have worked on stuff were spent on replaying the same stuff in the same game instead#:I#(also ... playing sv always makes me want to do more pixel art and try game dev again ....)
72 notes
·
View notes
Photo
................ heÂ
#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so...#......he#cats#EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he#I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video#s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted#for now though yeah.. just cats#The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a#sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist#who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb#and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left#undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth#So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects#so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on#this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on#them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain#organizes tasks sometimes lol#***#(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word#it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj)#ANYWAY... eeeee#Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing#Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!
587 notes
·
View notes
Text
NOOOOO DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME NOOOO I FORGOT I FORGOT NOOOO
#veesaysthings#good thing they're giving me an hour instead of cruelly SNATCHING my hour#but also it's gonna get SO dark SO early die new england die
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but#elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but#he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol#but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be#og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing.#etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color#obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha#i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes#and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes?#like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know#trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like#would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs#i mean..#Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know#i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account#of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character#also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it#so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol#tma#my art#elias bouchard#the magnus archives#some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed#for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and#assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no#there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice#i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair#my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats'#LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian#ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
combining some endings with a slash as I believe they serve equal narrative purpose. Feel free to elaborate which should go first or be omitted in the tags/comments if you would like :) I omitted the coffin ending as itâs not really an âendingâ so much as it is a fail state for the true end
#zero escape#999#9 hours 9 persons 9 doors#999 spoilers#ze 999#this poll was originally gonna be âbest door order playthruâ but that is WAY too long to put as choices#and it essentially asks what this is asking anyway#my choice is sub->knife->axe->safe->true#I could see an argument to wedge the coffin ending in before the safe ending and returning to true#if only for Santaâs âtime to make a wish come trueâ line be more at the front of the players mind#but thatâs meh reasoning at best#I love the axe ending but I also like sub->safe->true and just dismissing the other endings#I think sub is so important to play thru ESPECIALLY get first because I think it sets the tone in its ending so so well#especially if you get the sub ending by choosing door 3 instead of 7/8 and then 2#it very quickly and clearly shows off the protags cleverness and manipulation skills which come back again in the safe end#and then the ending itself being an Everyone Dies ending raises the stakes so much for ur next play thru#yes people die in other endings but this is EVERYONE#I personally think itâs good for tone#I really dislike the idea of people getting the safe ending first too#it reveals its hand SO early if you do - the antagonist of previous endings is just revealed#so if you get the knife or sub ending after the safe ending I think it ruins so much mystery#and I think a lot of scenes with Ace before the Safe ending are better when you donât suspect him and see him as his Lame Dad persona#when u get Safe first and then keep playing with him afterâŠidk u can still enjoy Lame Dad Ace but I think the betrayal hits harder#when u get Safe later after thinking u know about Ace outside of just the 6 door#but hey these are all my opinions - canât wait to hear what others say :)#poll
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
actually no. im not gonna be posting about the Current Events. figure it out yourselves
#this blog has no Bildungsauftrag <3#europawahl#european elections#also before anyone asks. yes i did vote. despite being on several trains and fucking Schienenersatzverkehr for three hours#when i could have stayed at my friend's (whom i get to see only every couple of months) place for a couple of hours longer instead#i left early for the sole reason to get home just in time to vote and i got there within the last 45 minutes of voting time#p
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like commentary youtube has a subsect of videos that come down to 'this could have been a tumblr vent post'
#i have thoughts on commentarytube in general. it's my guilty pleasure but also i take it with SUCH a grain of salt#so i'm going to make a tumblr vent post about it instead of a commentary video about commentarytube skdjskjdsk#i feel like it's a place for opinionated people to act like their opinions are fact a lot of the time#bc like. if they have a platform then SURELY they know what they're talking about. right? /sarcastic#i feel like the best ones are the ones with a niche they really care about#and not just 'let me spectate whatever gets me clicks this week'#like. i enjoy isabella lanter's commentary. she talks about scams and mlms and you can tell she cares about the topic#and is well-versed in it#and she stays in her niche and stays in what she knows well. and i think her videos really benefit from her obvious love of the topic#or treacle tatts. she is obviously very well-versed in her niche!!!!#not to say people can't branch out but i think when you branch out for the algorithm's sake your vid quality suffers from it#but i'm not a youtuber and they need a paycheck too and the algorithm is god on yt. so. shrug.#mildly salty opinion hour over. using my one discourse take of the month early here. see yall in june lmao
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've been a busy boy (spoken w the same vibe as that one garfield 9/11 comic)
#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate iii#bg3#bgiii#bg3 astarion#bg3 abdirak#(oh god ive been misspelling that cunts name this whole time)#for anyone whos not familiar with this game you get the bloodless debuff if astarion drinks your blood#and you get loviatar's love by letting a sadomasochist beat the shit out of you ritualistically. no that's not a joke#but i went thru with it cause it gives you advantage on low health and my bard is the squishiest bitch on the team now#even GALE has more health than my character now bc i gave him the tough feat#i also coincidentally got astarion's first bite scene the first long rest after meeting abdirak#because ive been delaying my long rests as long as possible for fear of anything time-sensitive becoming unavailable to me#and so a bunch of other shit took priority over astarion trying to bite me#BUT. that has instead resulted in the extremely funny idea of my character volunteer to get beaten up#for NO in-universe discernable reason i might add#and astarion being like 'hm. okay he might be a big enough freak to let me feed off him without shoving a stake through my ribs'#and then trying his luck that very night ASJFKSA#anyway. i stopped playing this fuckin game like an hour ago bc i have to wake up early and yet im still awake and being a freak#internal monologue
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh I IMMENSELY fucked up this morning now I'm gonna be almost an hour late to work đ
#i found out like 10pm last night the car rego expired so id have to make my own way#shift starts at 8. takes about an hour to get there. i checked transport times#tired brain somehow fucks up and ig sets 8 as the 'leave at' instead of 'arrive at' time#i think ok awesome i will take this bus at 8:06 that will get me there 8:47 a whole 13 min early....m#i guess i was also mixed up bc i take that bus in the morning to school at a bit after 8#first thing this morning i got up and got pancake batter and half asleep and glasses-less i dropped an egg on the floor#but anyway i left with my tea and my pancakes and my wits intact....#until i looked down at 7:58 and thought WAIT WHAT THE FUCK I START IN TWO MINUTES WHAT#so i ran. slowed. called my store. thankfully the manager on is really nice but idk if i clearly communicated the scope of my lateness#i just said id be 'pretty late' and he said its alright buddy take your time#god im glad i got him hes a really nice manager very chill#but AHHH MY GOD HOW DID I MESS UP TIMES THIS BAD#I LEFT AT 7:56 INSTEAD OF BEFORE 7!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!#anyway my bus got me to the station now im waiting for my train. it should be fine-ish but manbhhdhdhehfhf my god#idk if ill work 50min less or stay back an extra 50#but avdhdvhehfhfdbhdhd DUDE IM SO PISSED AT MYSELF
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
doing laundry but at what a cost
#the cost is getting up early and going before work instead of getting an extra hour and a half of sleep#fucked if true#in unit laundry is a need for whereever i move next#its even more important than a dishwasher. at least u dont have to leave home to wash ur dishes by hand.#im soooo sleepy but i am also out of clothing and my scrubs are all dorty and i wouldnt have another chance to do a wash until the weekend#and i Hate going to the laundromat on thr weekend#im braver than the us marines for this#whatever the fuck
7 notes
·
View notes