#also imma have to shift around when I show and idk how I feel about that

[shawoluvs]

;~;

[dinas-a-bird]

Okay so I’m imma request something you don’t have to do it!! But I love your work and uh idk I had an idea so.

Maybe dom g!p Abby and fem sub reader going to celebrate pride. On the way someone asks reader for their number and reader can’t say no so they say yes. Abby gets all pissed because she’s jealous. Anyways the person who asked reader for their number sees them kissing and Abby sees them as well getting all touchy with reader till the other person leaves. Well Abby fucks reader in a toilette or something to show them who they belong to. Idk if that makes sense😭. Also I got a huge breeding kink so if you could add it, that would be great.

Thank youuuu<3

I LOVED WRITING THIS REQUEST-anyway sorry this took so long my lovely anon, I started it then got writers block🥲 BUT I MANAGED TO FINALLY FINISH IT YIPPIE! I did change the request a little with how abby got jealous so I hope that is okay, but the smut is smutty and I tried my best to incorporate the breeding kink as well! this whole one-shot had a mind of its own once I got going

MINORS DNI

Unexpected Attention

Pairing: dom g!p Abby Anderson x sub!fem!reader

Warnings: smut, fingering r!receiving, pet-names (good girl, princess, baby, sweet girl), dom!Abby, sub!reader, possessive!Abby, g!p!Abby, breeding kink, implied after care, penetration r!receiving, multiple orgasms, praise, degrading(blink and you'll miss it), use of y/n, modern AU

Summary: Ellie wants your number, Abby has other plans.

Word Count: 1,924

A/N: As always comments are appreciated and sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, enjoy!

It is a bright and vibrant day as you and Abby make your way to the pride parade being held downtown, hand in hand. As you continue walking you start to see the streets lined with colorful banners, people walking about celebrating. You finally make it to the celebration and Abby looks over to you grinning, her blue eyes sparkling with excitement. "Isn't this amazing, y/n?" she says, raising her voice to be heard over the cheerful crowd.

You nod, a smile spreading across your face. "It's incredible, Abs. I'm so glad you convinced me to come."

Soon you both find a spot to stand to watch the parade floats ride by. Abby looks around searching for something and as soon as she sees it she smiles and looks back down at you. “I’m going to head inside to the restroom,” She points over her shoulder to a restaurant not too far away, “You okay standing here and saving my spot till I get back?” Typically, Abby wouldn't dare leave you alone in a crowd like this, but because the restaurant was so close by she thought nothing would happen to you in the span of a couple minutes.

You peek around her, eyeing the building, you nod your head, “I’ll be okay Abs. Just be quick please.” She kisses your forehead, mumbling reassurances, before she heads off.

As you wait, you keep your eyes glued to the building your girlfriend entered. Only a minute or so has passed when you feel a light tap on your shoulder. “Hey cutie.” Spinning around you see a slender woman, who's wearing a confident smirk, standing inches away from you. 

As the woman introduces herself as Ellie, you can’t help but notice her bold and flirtatious demeanor, something Abby would definitely not approve of. Her smirk and confident stance make it clear that she has an interest in you. Your heart races slightly, unsure of how to handle this situation.

"Hey," you reply, trying to maintain a friendly tone despite feeling a little uneasy. "I'm y/n."

Ellie's eyes gleam with amusement as she leans in closer. "Y/n, huh? That's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl," she compliments, her words laced with charm.

You blush slightly, feeling a mix of flattery and discomfort, mostly discomfort. "Thank you… Ellie. It's nice to meet you."

She chuckles, her eyes lingering on yours. "Likewise. You know, I couldn't help but notice you from across the crowd. You really stood out."

You shift uncomfortably, glancing around for Abby's return. "Oh, well, thank you. It's a fun day to stand out… I guess."

Ellie's smirk only grows wider, clearly enjoying the thought of having some kind of effect on you. "You're definitely not wrong about that. So, how about we exchange numbers? Maybe we can hang out sometime," she suggests. Leaning in closer she puts her phone in your empty hand.

You hesitate, Abby's possessiveness lingering in the back of your mind. But before you can respond, a voice cuts through the air, causing both you and Ellie to turn.

Abby is striding back towards you with purpose in her step. Her eyes lock onto Ellie, and you see her jaw clench slightly as she approaches. "Hey, sorry it took a bit longer than I thought," Abby looks at you, completely ignoring Ellie's presence.

"It's okay, Abs. This is Ellie. She was just..talking to me," you reply, gesturing towards the woman beside you.

Abby's eyes narrow slightly, but she forces a disingenuine smile. "Oh, hi Ellie. I'm Abby," she says, extending her hand to the woman.

Ellie takes Abby's hand, her smirk still in place. "Nice to meet you, Abby. Y/n here is quite the charmer," she gives you a playful wink.

Abby's grip tightens slightly on Ellie's hand, her expression becoming cold. "Yeah, I know.” Ellie seems almost unfazed by Abby’s harsh grip as they shake hands, almost relishing the challenge. Sensing the tension between the two, you decide to speak up.

"Actually, Ellie was just about to leave Abs," you say, placing the girl's phone in her unoccupied hand. "We were just having a quick chat. Right, Ellie?"

Ellie glances at you and then back at Abby, seemingly enjoying the drama unfolding before her. "Yeah, you're right. I should get going. It was nice meeting both of you." She gives you one last lingering look before walking away.

As soon as Ellie is out of earshot, Abby turns to you, her expression stern. "What was that about?"

You sigh, feeling guilty for the interaction. "I didn't expect her to approach me like that, Abs. She just started flirting with me and then asked to exchange numbers. But I didn’t put mine in her phone Abby, I promise."

Abby's jaw tightens again, and she takes a deep breath before mumbling. "Fuck.. alright c’mon." She grips your hand and leads you out of the crowd, you glance back and see Ellie watching you both with a playful smirk. You try to shake the image out of your mind as you look back up at your girlfriend.

“Abs, where are we goin?” Your voice cracks. Her gaze doesn't shift as she mumbles something, her voice drowned out by the parade. Soon she stops and opens a door, you look up and realize it's the same restaurant she entered earlier that evening. Once inside Abby grips your hand tight and leads you through the dining area to the back where the restrooms are located. Once there she ushers you inside and locks the door behind her.

Before you can ask what is happening, Abby pins you against the sink, your ass pressing into the growing bulge in her jeans. "I know you where going to give that fucking girl your number, if you're really that desperate to be fucked, then having my cock buried deep inside of you in a public restroom should be perfect. Don't you think?" You open your mouth to speak but all that comes out is a pitiful whine as Abby's calloused hands push down your pants and underwear.

"You're going to be a good girl for me, right? Or would you rather me go out there and find Ellie?" Abby hisses into your ear.

"I'll be...be good." you choke out, your eyes closing as you feel Abby’s fingers slipping in between your folds.

"Fuck.. your so wet.. Is this all for me? Or is it for her?" Abby asks as she roughly inserts two of her fingers into you.

"All for you Abs" you manage to get out in between little whimpers and moans. After a couple more thrusts she pulls out her fingers and looks at them.

"You wet enough for me to stick a third finger in you, get you ready for my cock?" You manage to open your mouth but all that falls out of it are soft cries for her to put her fingers back. "When I ask you a question I expect an answer princess." You manage to let out a soft, "get me ready for your cock please."

"Good girl." She leans back into you, three of her fingers diving into your soaked pussy. "I'm going to make you mine," she growls her breath hot on your neck, "you're going to get so wet and hot for my cock that you won't be able to stop yourself from coming all over my fingers before I give it to you."

"'m yours please." you let out a choked sob of pleasure as she pumps her fingers harder.

"That's my good girl." She lets out a loud groan as she watches her fingers, stretching you open as she pushes them in as far as she can get them. "Your so fucking wet.. and so tight. I can feel you tightening 'round my fingers baby. You think you deserve to cum?" she asks, her finger pumping into you as she watches you.

"Yes!" you let out in a throaty moan, her finger thrusting into you as you feel yourself closing around her. "Please please.. let me cum!" Abby lets out a low groan as she pushes her fingers in deeper.

"Cum for me y/n, show me who you belong to."

"I belong to you! Abby, I'm yours!" You cry out as your legs start to shake.

"Fuck, thats it princess" Abby soothes as she holds you down by your hips, her fingers pumping into you as you cum around them. "You think your ready for my cock now? You think you deserve it" She kisses your neck, sucking a mark into the soft skin. A choked out please is all you can manage before you feel Abby remove her fingers and start pulling on her jeans and boxers behind you.

"I'm going to cum in you princess, you're going to be mine, and you're going to love it." you whine at her words and try to press your ass into her member. "You like that don't you dirty girl? The thought of me fucking a baby into that sweet cunt of yours?" Her words sound degrading but you can't help but feel your slick run down your thighs as she says them.

"please.. Abs..need it" you whimper.

"Shhh..sweet girl...i'll make sure not a drop of my cum leaves your pretty pussy." Abby's lips touch your ear, her hand guiding her cock to your entrance. She gently pushes the head of her thick member into you, then inches of her length until she's fully buried inside. After giving you a moment to adjust she slowly starts moving, sliding in and out of you as you whimper and moan in pleasure.

"You're taking me so well. I bet Ellie could never fuck you as well as I do." Abby whispers to you as she moves your hips, forcing her cock in and out of you at a faster pace.

"Please... please…’m yours..” you beg, feeling her fingers at your clit as she moves into you. "want you to breed me...need it Abs" You feel Abbys mouth start to leave sloppy kisses on your neck as she moans.

"you're such a good girl for me" she mumbles into your neck, her hips slamming into yours. "I'm going to make you feel so good. 'm gonna fill you up so good."

you choke back a sob as you feel your abdomen tightening. "'m gonna cum" you manage to say.

"Wait princess 'm almost there." Abby lets out a low groan as she thrusts faster. "Gonna fill you up with my seed...you're going to be so full of me." After a couple more thrusts Abby feels her thighs tighten. "fuck..cum with me" she begs as she thrusts harder.

“I'm cumming" you cry out, your body clenching around her as you feel your walls clamp down and milk her seed inside you. "Fuck...I love you Abby...I love you so much" you sob as she pulls her mouth away and kisses your ear.

"I love you too" she whispers before pulling her cock out of you. Abby grabs some paper towels and begins to clean you up as best she can. Once you both are cleaned up and redressed Abby leans in and engulfs you in a comforting hug. "How about we go home and take a nice bath?" She asks, kissing the top of your head.

Nodding your head you sigh into her chest, "I'd like that." Abby smiles at you as she steps away and begins to unlock the bathroom door.

[mizuena2010]

let the Mizuki rambles begin

okay well first off I’m using they/them for Mizuki here, but also refer to them with like feminine nicknames u could say? Idk but if that bothers you, I’m so sorry but I am NOT getting into all that gender stuff so.. respectfully, SHHHHHH.

also could anyone tell I’m obsessed w their character?

no?

didn’t think so either (｀・∀・´)

anyways. Here I go.

okay the reason why I’m so obsessed with this girly is just that they are too relatable. Like I will literally start crying like the emotional ass I am when reading their stories. Especially the What Lies Ahead event. Mizuki is faced with a lot of issues, most of them due to not fitting in. I think this is one of the most popular problems that many individuals face in today’s society, hence why their character is on the more popular side.

it is difficult for Mizuki to be themselves, and over the years, they’ve just learned to store away hurt they may face, and dismiss it like nothing. That’s why when the hurt catches up with them, it affects them very strongly, causing them to shut people out, and put up their careless act. I’ve also noticed the habit where they do allow people to grow close with them, but only at a certain point. Past that point, they fear what happens in the future if they cross that line.

Mizuki is also one who finds lying easy; a simple act to cover up concern from the people who care about them. They see their lies as something that benefits the other person, as when they lie, they won’t have to drag the other person down into their problems they see as burdens.

okay hiii guess whose brain is working again so Imma finish this up.

Besides the comments Mizuki gets, their other worries are primarily about the people they care about.

Despite the fact that they shut themselves away from others, they do get attached to people quite easily, and it doesn't take long before they think, "How long until I lose them?"

They dont wish to get so attached, but they crave for the affection that their loved ones show them. They want more of it, but are hesitant to ask for it. Experiences that are supposed to be positive for them can quickly become negative when Mizuki shifts their thinking process. Instead of cherishing their moments (not saying they dont, but they do worry a lot) they begin to think of the future, and imagining a future where the person they love ends up leaving them. This thinking process is something that develops over the years with issues like Mizuki's. They find it difficult to stay in the present, they cant help but grow sad at the thought that soon the memories they make with people they love wont matter. Change is something they dislike. They grow anxious while trying to find ways to get people to stay with them longer.

I think this is also why Mizuki was so taken aback at Ena's promise, and her words alone.

In the What Lies Ahead event, even after Ena says these things, they cant help but doubt her words. They try to imagine a future where Ena is forever by their side, but with everything they've faced, this makes it hard to do so.

It’s not like they don’t want to change, though. In many of their stories, they’re seen wistfully imagining a day where they could stop worrying, where they could stop lying to themselves and others, a day where they can have faith in the ones who promise they’ll stay.

Overall, Mizuki’s story is an interesting and well-developed one, with lots of build-up as they begin to realize that they don’t want to hide as much anymore. They want to push themselves further, they want to deepen their connections with the people they love. They’ve seen everyone around them move on, and they feel it’s time for them to move forward, too.

(I’m not ready for Mizuki5 I will be ugly crying istg)

[fluffypotatey]

Hi again! So, in your Human LMK AU, what's the magic system like? Is it a mundane everyday thing that everyone or mostly does and can do, or is it a secret society thing? Is SWK a part of it legally, or is he more involved in the shady part? Is it like the Heavenly Court? How would you implement the Brotherhood into this setting? Was SWK born with magic or did he sought it out? What D&D class would he be? What magic are you giving SWK? I'd give him shape-shifting and transmutation personally, but unless you have other ideas for him, I'd support you. About Macaque? If you'd like to give him some other magic than shadows, how about wind and/or death? I'll wait for more info on the AU. Have a good day!

OK SO I ACTUALLY WROTE THE SYSTEM DOWN YESTERDAY ARE YOU READY :)))))))))

in the AU, magic is an everyday thing, yes, but we don't really focus on the mundane & casual magic here bc to the characters, that's nothing to really sneeze at. we do focus on how magic interacts with people :3 i call it "magic flavors" currently, but the name will probably be changed in-story. it's honestly just easier for me to understand what i'm saying by calling it flavors

so about these flavors.... (imma just copy/paste what i have in my notes lol):

The different signatures and tells that identify each magic user’s type is a person's own flavor of magic

Depending on the magic and how it interacts with others, there might be a positive or negative reaction

MK’s “meatball incident” where the food was either hexed, jinxed, or cursed and his magic is adverse to those types

SWK & Mac’s magic, though on opposite ends, interact positively with the other because the two have grown up together and know each other’s magic so well.

swk & macky are childhood friends to enemies to lovers and so they grew up used to the other's magic that even while enemies, neither of them feel affronted by the other's magic, nor can their signature harm the other unless the user themself chooses to do so

Even as enemies, their magic still reacts positively unless SWK or Mac make it harm the other (this does take some energy tho but it drives both of them up the wall with frustrations– mostly Mac)

Manipulates the different energies around a user and the environment

Meaning: the energies their signature of magic manifests itself in a type of magic that is the most suitable for them

and from a person's type of flavor you get your typical magic types (elemental, spatial, photo, and whatnot, idk the special names they have) and even with a user in those types of magic, they still have their own differentiation that makes their magic their own. the example i use in my notes is Mei's and Red Son's magic. in the AU, both characters are fire mages, BUT while Red Son's fire is your stereotypical red flame, Mei's is green

basically, magic is different for each person which is why you have times where people are adverse to other magic their own is not used to.

and then the notes go on to talk about Magic Circles bc when any character casts a spell, just like in the show, a magic circle pops up, and that is also differentiated/specialized for each magic users. i won't go into it here bc i do want space to answer your other questions, but just know Magic Circles are an important symbolic part of the AU. honestly, most of the magic in this AU has a thematic and symbolic feel to the story bc this is the only way i am able to create a sustainable magic system for myself.

Is it like the Heavenly Court?

i'll be honest, i have not gotten to the Heavenly Court in the brainstorming process as much. they don't really have much of a foothold in where the story is currently going, but we'll see!

Is SWK a part of it legally, or is he more involved in the shady part?

ok so, since i already established that magic is sort of like a normalized thing in this AU (urban fantasy and similar to lmk's own magic normalcy), imma use this question just to talk about my boy <3

Sun Wukong, in the AU, is the most powerful mage of all time (fitting with his op prowess in jttw) and is kind of a modern celebrity in this world. that being said, his rise to fame happened in an interesting way. originally, Wukong started out in the "shadier" side, think underground fighting ring and stuff, and gained the name Monkey King from how a lot of his offensive moves and magic could be likened to a monkey's flexibility. even though Wukong was known far and war in the underground world as the best offensive mage, Wukong did crave to make a name for himself out of it (also, this was when his relationship with his parents was at its worst because they believed he was sinking his future & he wanted to prove them wrong)

his first real news outbreak was more negative than positive, but Wukong took it in full-swing (any press is good press) and ran with it. and while this is where the backstory gets a little fuzzy, just know that Wukong was someone people knew to be an all-round bad dude, nobody was able to get a good picture of him (any who tried either got their camera destroyed or head smashed in). he wa ruthless and craved people's fear. at some point, Wukong is eventually captured and sent to some kind of magic prison which is where he meets Tripitaka, and to save my plot-holey self, just know that from then on, Wukong worked to improve himself & when let out, turned a full 180 and used his powers for good, which led to his infamy switching from fear to adoration.

which is the wukong we meet in the AU

How would you implement the Brotherhood into this setting?

they would be swk's old pals when he was menace. other than Macky, they would be the only one's who would notice any significant changes in swk's magic and fighting skills. Azure, if you would like to know, is very miffed about it, and Peng never thinks to consider that maybe the secrets he could be spilling are stuff swk doesn't want to be spilled (they do consider, but ignore it anyway). Yellow Tusk...idk he's there (sorry T^T haven't touched on his role)

anyway, their inclusion in the story would be much later, so i'm ok with keeping it vague

Was SWK born with magic or did he sought it out? What D&D class would he be? What magic are you giving SWK?

imma just answer these all here lol

in this AU everyone is born with magic, or rather, magic interacts with you even when you an infant. what i have in my notes is that magic develops with the user in this AU. depending on your age or mental state or even your growth- magic grows with you.

as a mage develops, their magic would evolve with them. it depends on the user how their magic signature changes but the colors and feeling of it will stay stagnant (maybe more saturated or forceful but stagnant all the same)

so yes, swk was born with magic, but also yes, he did seek it out and hone it down in order to be the very best (like no one ever was).

as for DND class....i'd still say monk, but with the AU maybe a multiclass of sorcerer and monk????

ok so swk's magic is, uh, interesting to say the least because he does push the boundaries of how a person can manifest their own magic. so his magic focuses on light, clouds, and shape-shifting, but the real kicker here is shape-shifting because manipulating clouds and light is easy. a piece of cake for him. but manipulating himself??? manipulating his body into taking shape of another person or animal or inanimate thing???? that is something swk can't help but experiment with.

can shape-shifting just be him enlarging himself? with his magic, yes. can shape-shifting be swk turning into a gigantic kaiju monster? yes. can shape-shifting be swk impersonating his parents so he can go on a class trip out of the city even though he's grounded? yes.

About Macaque? If you'd like to give him some other magic than shadows, how about wind and/or death?

so i will admit to unoriginality bc Macky does have shadow magic in this AU 👉👈 BUT! he also has smoke magic and illusions ✨✨✨ also unoriginal, i know, but they fit so well for him and wanted to write it!

so his shadow magic will be fairly similar to how he uses his shadows in the show, but with smoke, that's just because i know he'd use it to be a dramatic bitch <3 illusions is sort of to complement swk's shape-shifting since while he can't reconfigure his own body, he can make it appear as if he had. (also, macky's magic does complement swk's and i kind of like their magic complementing each other, sue me)

but yeah, there you go!

[close-friends00]

I have so many things I wanna rant about however I'm number 1: too lazy to pick up a pen and my journal and just write all these emotions and boring feelings down so imma just trauma dump here real quick. and 2: I can't add pictures of Lana del Rey whenever tf I want in my journal sooooooo

ok so I have a lot of feelings for Lola, but lately especially today I have just been looking back at our relationship and there are somethings that are just either not sitting right with me or things that just have hurt my feelings and I'm just now wanting to talk and vent about this. I think I'm missing more how our dynamic was before april- I feel like she was there for me sm more in the sense that she was a huge rock when I was going through a ton of shit- and we talked about sm shit together and then after April when she started doing her ig lives I think we also grew closer because she was throwing hints at me and flriting- however after I reciprocate my feelings back I see that our messages shift a bit- but no worries right- we go on our first date amazing, I loved every moment of it. Eventually I realize that our dynamic at school is odd- there are days where she is very talkative with me and she reciprocates my affection and there are other days that I just feel like a little dog running laps around her, trying desperately to gain her attention and to be loved by her- I feel fucking ridiculous, and I just feel like so fucking awkward for even trying to talk with her. And then on my birthday in May - holy fuck did she open up about a ton of shit to me - like she was talking about her past relationships and some personal things shes been going through- and shes all over me- like shes holding my knee, making a lot of eye contact, yk like it felt like although she was telling this thing to more people in a way she was just talking to me too, like it was just us two? idk. point is afterwards things are weird- we are in a bit of a rut ngl. However she posts this tik-tok where she is like oh the month and my crush/relationship and she does emojis and I notice that in the month that we started talking there's another emoji next to mine? weird right? So before I can even see the tik tok shes already texting me being like ok here's why there's another emoji next to urs and that shit was personal and she goes on about her ex and all that- like we talked and I was like oh yeah those people are assholes yk, and I'm just realizing that I find it kinda unhealthy that's shes jumping from relationship to relationship and I can tell that the shit that she has gone through is still quite fresh - so I tell her hey Ik that you think I can't handle this but I'm willing to wait and understand and all that- however in may she had her rehearsal week- a week where we barely talked and I can understand why but then after her show the next day she texts me and she sends me a picture of her dump acc post and her doing makeup for a guy and she sends that pic to me and goes just in case u were wondering- this is the guy who's been making my life complete hell and she was just ranting how her ex and this guy have gotten in a relationship and just keep flaunting it to her face- and then she texts- 'now that I don't have to see them I can focus on you and our relationship"

and I played it off as a yess pls yk finally- but it made me so sad that I've been so into this relationship for almost two months and she is JUST NOW putting her efforts into it. and I understand- shes been going through some things- but I feel so fucking neglected in our relationship... idk I feel like once again I'm practically begging to be given attention or to hang out and I feel so guilty saying this but I just need to express it somehow. I think I can be her friend for now and just be a support system for her, but idk if she is ready for a relationship. and I need to know if she is because I wanna stop feeling like a burden , another task she needs to complete, idk.

one thing I've also noticed is that when she is with her friends- I feel like whenever her friends come up to talk to her, they're talking in code or walking around eggshells with me there. and I get it- they think imma snitch or whatever but it just hurt my feelings so much when we would be talking and she would just leave me to talk with them and just leave me waiting yk. and it just hurts because I feel like they're waiting for this 'clingy puppy' to leave so that they can talk...

i really really really like her and I want to be with her but I'm afraid to express these feelings because I'm low-key scared she will think I'm just like her exes.

but I just needed to rant about that real quick.

[mysticmiav]

Just finished the book and I have mixed feelings akdkkskd

Here are my two cents on it;

Spoilers ahead!! I've marked them with square brackets and italics and emojis ⚠️[like this]⚠️ just in case you wanna read the rest spoiler-free general thoughts lol

Imma be completely honest here the parts I loved the most were Altair's and anything that had to do with him. He was genuinely the main reason I kept wanting to read more akfkks

Like yeah zumra restore them magic let's see that go fight guys go but Altair tho!! What's my boy up to

Litrly he stole the show in ever page he was on I love him so much

Other than that, most of the book felt a bit... slow? And not necessarily in terms of the plot, which was moving moderately. Like medium-paced imo, slower at bits but it picks up at others, and I personally don't mind a book that's a tad bit on the slower side, especially when I can see why and how things were taking time. It made sense for me that in the planning parts the flow of the story would slow down a bit, while in the excution of said plans the pace would pick up a bit. And so, the pace wasn't something I particularly minded or paid mind to lol

But when I say slow, I mean it more so in terms of the characters themselves. Their inner turmoils as well as their relationship. Zafira and Nasir am looking at you as a whole and Zafira am looking at you specifically

And I know it's important to let the character development (whether they are developing into better or worse) to take its time, but the struggle of just how to excute that without it becoming just so slow and unintresting to see.

I can't make up my mind on whether it was done well here or not.

Bits of it I'd liked 

⚠️[Zafira and the Jawraat, from the chaos and pain it caused to the hollowing emptiness it left and then the understanding and peace that came at last]⚠️

I also liked seeing Nasir learning to navigate his feeling, working around his guilt, from his kills and from all he had and hadn't done. How far he'd gotten from his self in We Hunt The Flame

⚠️[conditioned by his father/the Lion to never think, never speak his mind, never dare to want, to now wanting to, to now voicing his thoughts and facing his feelings]⚠️

But other bits felt a bit, idk, repetitive? Like sheesh some hundreds of pages later and we're still here?

⚠️[This is specifically about Zafira's whole inner turmoil over losing her sense of self and purpose now that the Arz is gone. I thought it was very intresting, and also very real because who wouldn't feel lost after the one thing they'd risked their lives for and the one thing that gave them a feeling of worthiness and value, was just now gone? I loved that, and I loved that in how frantic Zafira was to find a new purpose, she made mistakes and hurt herself and those she cared for.]

[But like, if I recall correctly, litrly 450ish pages in the same doubts were ongoing, the same thoughts and feelings leaving Zafira lost and feeling empty and am just like how are we ever gonna wrap this up and move beyond these hurdles, ya feel? It's so much to work through and it's been brewing for so long and yet we're nearing the end of the book skfkskkd it just left me confused, cuz again on hand I do know and appreciate characters being given the space and time to develop and change and find themselves, but on the other, one can question if they're given sooo much time it feels like it'll never actually be resolved.]⚠️

And then, Zafira and Nasir's relationship was killing me.

I'm all for slow burn, I love it. I still screeched every time their knees brushed or one felt the other's gaze on them. I died and screamed and rolled.

But it still felt a bit too, idk, unmoving at many parts. Like I love me a slow burn when you can still notice those small shifts and progress.

But for me it felt like 400 pages in, they were still in the same stage of neither saying what they want or think and knowing full well what they should be saying or doing but still not doing it cuz oh well maybe next time.

There was so much tension building up but so little relief and that felt so unrewarding to read i guess wifjwkkfje

I still love them don't get me wrong, and I do love the way in which each of them changed on their own, and how you could see that becoming a point in their relationship [Nasir allowing himself to want, to think he's maybe worthy of this, worthy of love, and on the other end, Zafira coming to love and learning of all the feelings love brought with it, the good and the bad, after a whole life of hating what "love" had done to those around her] but it just didn't feel like the sum of it was adding up to anything if that makes sense.

Idk. I just feel like something was missing and I don't know what exactly.

Love Altair tho. He was the absolute highlight, just as he was in the first book, and getting to read his thoughts was just the best thing ever.

Loved him and Nasir so much too. Their interactions were always so fun and packed with so many emotions and humour and pain and ugh I loved it all

Also. Am not gonna talk about Altair and Yasmine cuz I personally genuinely don't see it lol. Maybe if it had been given the time but with what we have, I don't really think much of it. Also am definitely on the Altair-Kifah ship since early on in the 1st book so yeah

Anywho I guess overall am mixed on this. On the highs *cough cough Altair* this book was very high and I was having such a fun time, and on the lows it really sunk and felt meh

I'll be honest WFTS feels too long and certain bits just drag on and on akfkskfke I'm honestly here for Altair and Altair only

[tsunderecookies]

Horny HC

Pairing: Bakugo x Reader, Midoriya x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Shinso x Reader, Hawks x Reader

Warnings: nsfw subjects, choking, spanking, spitting, hair pulling, language as vulgar as my mind, degrading, daddy kink.

A/N: Count on me to make my first ever post spicy. All characters mentioned in this are aged up to 21+. I hope y'all enjoy reading this. (Also i made these headers myself - not the chibis - so sorry if they shit, I tried :)))

Requests are open. Please send lol, imma run out of ideas.

So for my first set of hc I took the 5 heroes I had the most ideas for but I’ll definitely do hc’s for the rest as well. Also i love the villians so lmk if you guys want me to do a part 2 of this for them or any of the other heroes!

This man

This.Man.

He's gonna blow your back out. No cap.

I mean you see the way he treats his friends, you can't tell me he won't be daddy in bed.

Speaking of Daddy. Authority kink. It's either Sir, Daddy or Master. Katsuki has left the chat.

Bakugou is in charge, and you sure as fuck better know it. If not, he won't hesitate to remind you, teaching you a lesson you won't forget anytime soon.

100% brat tamer.

Bakugou loves putting you back in your place when you step out of line. He lives for the sound of your pleas and apologies as he reminds you of where you belong; on your knees right in front of him. ( that sounded so sexist pls don't come for me )

Punishments come in the form of spanking and edging for hours on end. He's not scared to manhandle you.

You gasp at the harsh feeling of your back slamming against the wall, the feeling of Bakugous hand slipping around your throat sending a wave of arousal straight to your core.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"I said make me.... Daddy." A cheeky smile makes it onto your face as you repeat your words, but just as fast as it appeared it vanishes at the feeling of his hand tightening around your throat.

" Oh princess, you never learn do you?"

His favorite positions includes him hitting it from the back - he loves how he can just push your head into the mattress or lean his chest against your back to whisper dirty things in your ear. Not to mention the fact that he can grab your hair and pull your back flush against his chest as he tilts your head back so you can look at him while he rails you- and missionary with both your legs over his shoulders. He loves seeing the facial expressions you make while he presses his hand down onto your throat, his cock hitting places inside you you didn't know existed.

Definitely not afraid of quickies. He loves the adventure and danger that comes with the possibility of anyone being able to walk in on you at any possible moment.

Dirty talk: on fucking point.

" You like that baby? Yeah? You like it when daddy fucks you hard like this hmm? Tell me how much you love this. Tell me how much you like daddy pounding into you like this."

You know that kinda whiney type dirty talk tone? Like where their words are kinda dragged out and kinda high pitched? Yes. Yes.

Absolutely fucking loves when you can't speak. He loves how your words can barely slip out in between your moans and gasps, how absolutely dumb you are for his cock.

100% degrader.

Change my mind. You can't.

"That's right baby, yes - fuck. Take that cock. Take that fat cock like the slut you are."

"You like that you whore? You like it when daddy tells you how slutty you look all needy for his cock?"

This man is not afraid to mark you up. Good luck covering up those hickeys the next morning because its impossible. He wants everyone to know you belong to him, and you can bet your pretty ass that he has a shit eating grin on his face when someone notices them.

You can bet he has a shit eating grin on his face later when you try to confront him about it. He’ll also have some smart ass remark.

I can definitely see Bakugo having angry post argument sex. By the time he tosses you onto bed and crawls onto you the cause of the argument is long forgotten, the only thing going through his mind being how he's going to fuck the attitude out of you.

Absolutely loves it if you're loud. He wants everyone to know he's the one making you feel that good and that he's the only one who could make you scream like that.

" That's right princess, let the whole fucking city know who's making you feel this good!"

Definitely gonna have a ton of noise complaints, especially from your roommates if you have any. ( idk why but i picture katsuki sharing an apartment w kiri, sero and denki )

Bakugo isn't really a moan typpa guy, but god he will draw out the sexiest and unholiest groans and growls from the back of his throat.

I also feel like he's the type of guy that guides you through giving him head, telling you exactly how to suck his cock before he just grabs a fist full of your hair and ends up fucking your face.

We all know Bakugou is an overachiever, and this reflects during sex. He wants to make you cum as many times as possible using his tongue and fingers before he sticks his dick in you.

He isn't as romantic as Shoto with aftercare but he definitely takes care of you. He makes sure to go pee as well as make you go before turning on the shower for you both, adjusting the temperature to your liking.

He loves washing your hair for you in hopes that you'd do the same for him. He secretly loves the feeling of your fingertips massaging his scalp but would never admit it.

He's not super lovey dovey after, but he makes sure to let you know that you're appreciated.

"Love you, dumbass."

"Love you too, Katsuki."

All in all, you're in for a good dicking down.

I feel like this boy pours so much passion into it.

Especially with his history with his parents. The lack of love during his childhood definitely shows during moments like these.

With him it's always making love, its never just fucking. Sex to him isn't just an activity to get off or procreate ( cough Endeavour cough) its a show of both your love for each other, a moment for your bodies to become one.

Your pleasure definitely comes first to him. He would want to get you off at least a couple of times before even thinking of himself.

Shoto also struggles with expressing his emotions so this is a way for him to show you how he feels physically rather that having to convey it verbally.

He's all about the physical contact.

He definitely holds your hands during and whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

His favourite position is missionary. He loves the closeness, how he can look into your eyes and feel your shaky breathing while he moves inside you.

It's either that or you on top with him sitting upright with your bodies pressed together. He loves how close he can hold you. His one hand intertwining with your hair as he presses your head closer to his, the other around your back, occasionally moving down to you hip to help you grind down onto him.

Loves the feeling of your chest against his as he slowly moves between your hips, head resting against your shoulder as his hot breath fans over your skin.

He presses a chaste kiss to your lips before resting his forehead against yours.

"I love you so much angel, you're so beautiful like this."

He's also the type to light candles and have rose petals everywhere on special occasions.

But just because he makes love to you, doesn't mean he can't rearrange your insides while doing so.

Just hot, sweaty, nasty, rough sex.

But with love <3

Even during the rougher moments he makes sure to show you how much he loves you and how much you mean to him.

He'd have his hand all tangled in your hair, some of the unholiest noises leaving his throat as he takes you from behind. His eyes not leaving yours in the mirror placed in front of you.

"Fuck. You feel so good baby - just like that, yeah - look at me princess."

He's very observant. He takes note of the things the drive you crazy so he can work your body even better next time.

Because sex is something more intimate for him I don't think he'd be into sex in public/semi public areas.

He doesn't want anyone else to see the gorgeous expressions on your face while you're at your most vulnerable, or the heavenly sounds that leave your soft lips for him.

I wouldn't go as far as to say he's possessive, but this is definitely something he views as for his eyes only.

He’s not a very big fan of quickies for the simple fact that he likes to take his time with your body and give you as much pleasure as possible rather than just get you both off. He’d much rather prefer waiting for you both to get home and properly take care of you.

Shoto isn't really vocal in bed, but his pleasure will still be conveyed through his shaky intake off breath and the ways his face scrunches up when you clench around him.

He definitely marks you.

Loves marking you as his on your most delicate and intimate parts, painting your chest and inner thighs as his.

He loves trailing his hand over them, rubbing soft circles on the hickeys with his thumb. To him this is proof of the beautiful moment you guys spent together.

The most passionate sex that you both have would definitely be when shoto comes back from a long business trip, his hand could never compare to your body. He definitely plans on making up for lost time, keeping you in his sheets for as long as possible.

And can i just say

The aftercare

Top tier.

He definitely runs you both a hot bath afterwards.

Candles, bubble bath and your favourite bath bomb. The works.

Definitely wants to carry you but won't do so if you feel uncomfortable about it.

He slips in behind you so you're sat between his thighs, his one hand interlacing with yours while the other softly caresses your stomach.

Sets up a little cuddle corner next to the fireplace so you guys can enjoy a movie before falling asleep in each others arms.

Sweet baby boi.

One word: shy.

Izuku knows what sex is and what happens during this intimate act. He’s also watched porn a couple of times so he knows the basics behind it.

But that doesn’t stop him from shape shifting into a fucking tomato every time you start undressing in front of him.

When you both first started becoming intimate you definitely had to make all the first moves and initiate it all because he was too shy and nervous to do it himself.

Even if he was horny as can be and needed you more than anything he’d rather suffer in silence than tell you or ask you to help him out.

He’s definitely not afraid to ask you how to work your body right. Deku knows that not everyone's bodies work the same and that what might have felt good for someone else won’t exactly work for you. So he asks. He asks you how to work your body right and he’ll keep this in mind for future reference.

He marks you but not as much as the others. He’ll litter them on more intimate places both because he doesn’t want to embarrass or inconvenience you and because he’s the only other one he wants to be able to see em. He’ll also get really blushy when he spots them.

This man 100% has a praise kink. He loves knowing how good he’s making you feel and won’t hesitate to let you know as well.

No matter how many times you’ve been intimate before he’ll always tell you how beautiful you look, how much he loves you and how much he can’t wait to make you feel good.

As time goes by and you give him more praise he’ll become more confident intimately.

I can’t really see Izuku having any hard kinks for the simple fact that he doesn’t like the idea of hurting you in any way, especially intentionally.

Like if you were to ask him to choke you or something he’d do it beacause he wants to please you but it would still be the softest shit you have ever experienced. Like for example he’d have his hand around your throat but he wouldn't add any pressure and his hand would barely graze your ass when he attempts to spank you.

He would be down for quickies but he’d be a nervous wreck about em. He’d constantly worry about getting caught and won’t shut up so you’ll just have to make him ;)

“Zuku don’t worry we’ll be fine.“ Your lips mesh together as you pull him closer by his shirt, tugging at the hem to signal you want it off before moving down towards his belt.

“ But y/n - chan I just don’t want us to get caught...” A whine leaves his throat as you start palming him through his jeans before quickly pulling them along with his briefs down to his knees.

“You need to relax more baby.” You press a kiss next to his ear before sinking down to your knees. “In fact I know just how to help you do that.”

Before he could even think of a response his hand flew up to cover out the loud moan threatening to slip out of his ajar mouth as his head fell back.

He’s definitely loud during sex.

Without a doubt.

He lets out these whiny little moans and he definitely tries to hide em. They wouldn’t be especially high pitched but they’d still be higher than usual. Can definitely see him as the type to cover them up with his hand but when you let him know how much you love them he’ll blush a little but let em all out.

You’ve seen how attentive this man is right? How he takes every little piece of info he gets into account when he fills out his journal and comes up with plans?

Yeah your body has its own journal.

Joke lol, but Deku is very attentive and takes note of every reaction he gets out of your body with his touch. How your back arches when his fingers hit that spot inside of you. How your moans get louder when he angles his hips in a certain way. How goosebumps appear when he litters kisses down your neck.

Aftercare with him is the cutest thing ever.

Blushy boi again.

He holds you close to his naked body and pushes his head into the crook of your neck to hide his blush. He’ll thank you for not only sharing moments like these with him but also allowing him to be apart of your life.

Now and then you guys take a hot bath together afterwards but most of the time you fall asleep in each others arms, an occasional kiss being placed on your forehead with a word of comfort.

This man will just love on you so hard.

The first thing that pops into my head when I think Shinso and sex is kitten.

He definitely calls you kitten in bed and he is daddy. period.

Like this man is rough. Without a doubt.

He’s the type that’s really fun to tease because you know he’ll punish you later. Especially if you do it while he’s at work.

A gasp leaves your lips when you feel a familiar pair of arms circle your waist, his warm body pinning you against the railing of the balcony.

"Surprised kitten? I thought you would've expected this, sending me those lewd photos while im at work. "

His hands move to grab onto your waist and push you further into the railing, yours grabbing onto it in turn.

His chest vibrates against your back as he chuckles, you can practically feel the smirk on his face.

"Yeah, you better fucking hold on to something."

I also feel like his pull out game is the best. He mostly enjoys cumming on either your chest or your lower back and face on special occasions.

He loves taking you from behind or on your side while lifting your one leg. He also loves sitting on the edge of the bed with you on top of him with your back facing him while he guides your hips up and down.

He loves these positions because it gives him the perfect angle to please and tease. He can easily reach around and play with your nipples but he can also tease you by just stilling inside of you when you least expect it.

It also gives him better access to the most sensitive parts of your neck so he can mark you up.

I feel like Shinso has a very high sex drive. Like i feel like he's down to go whenever wherever, which is why i think quickies with him is almost a daily occurrence. He loves the risk behind it and he definitely knows how finish you off within 5 minutes. 

He absolutely loves it when you're a brat so use this to your advantage because it will get you r a i l e d.

A loud groan escapes the back of Shinso's throat, his hand tangled in your hair while he rams into you from behind.

"Is this what you wanted baby? Huh? Me fucking the brat out of you?"

He is an absolute king with his hands and he knows it. He knows how to get you absolutely spent with just 2 fingers. 

Definitely jealous as fuck but he doesn't do anything about it until you're alone. He'll act normal up until you get home before pinning you against the wall and reminding you that he's the only man you should be giving attention to.

And oh my god this man can go all night long. He’ll pound you into the mattress until HE thinks you’ve had enough, sweat gleaming on both your bodies in the moonlight as he finally pulls out and pulls you close to him.

He’s definitely very adventurous. He’s not afraid to experiment at all.

I also feel like when he cums he cums A LOT. Like one of his favourite things ever would be you on you knees in front of him, his cock buried deep down your throat as you struggle to swallow everything he's giving you.

Sleepy sex is basically a morning ritual, his hips already rutting against your ass before you've even properly woken up. He loves the laziness of the whole ordeal as well as the closeness. Before you he'd just rub one out before falling back asleep, but now that you're here he can just indulge in you and then fall back asleep. Not that you mind.

Shinso doesn't leave hickeys intentionally. He just gets into it and does it without noticing it. Thinks it's hilarious as fuck when you struggle to hide them and definitely makes a comment about you knowing you enjoyed it so why complain now.

Definitely the type to wake you up and ask you to ride him at ungodly hours.

Member of the suck me off while I'm gaming club.

A little bonus: I can just see both of you going at it and he’s doing you good and then all of a sudden he just stops. Naturally you just assume he’s just trying to be a tease so you buck your hips up in attempt to get him to move inside of you and let out a whiny moan. Shinso would just kinda calmly look at you and go “ Baby... she’s on top of me.” and you’d be like huh???? tf he talking about, and just look up and see the cat you adopted together peeking at you over his shoulder. She lets out the cutest little meow and you both start giggling, taking a mental note to close the bedroom door before you get down in future.

After sex he’d take care of you. He’d clean you up and cuddle you really close. He’d run his fingers through your hair and massage your scalp for you. Will wake you up with breakfast in bed the next morning and a cup of coffee/tea.

Hawks has a god complex in bed and you can't convince me otherwise.

He's the absolute king of oral. He isn't just gluttonous for food if you catch my drift. He knows how to use his tongue, and the way he uses it on your sex is enough to make you see stars.

"Oh god. Fuck, i-i need- oh my god. Keigo, I need mhmmnnmm" your hand runs through his golden locks as you press him closer to your core, hips bucking and thighs threatening to close around his head.

Keigos head peaks up from between your legs, his mouth glistening with your arousal as his hand picks up where his tongue left off. A cocky smile sneaks it's way on his face.

"That's right baby, tell god what you need."

Hawks loves taking you in missionary. Why you may ask. Because this gives you perfect access to his wings. Nothing gets him more riled up than the feeling of your fingers dancing over the base of his wings where they meet his skin. The feeling's enough to draw a growl from within his chest, his hips immediately picking up momentum as he pounds you deeper into the bed.

Just like Katsuki, Keigo isn't afraid to mahandle you.

He loves the sight of your fucked out face as he wraps his hand around you throat, incoherent mumbles the only thing leaving your swollen lips.

He fucks you stupid, tongue lolling out of your mouth and eyes rolling back into your head. The sight of this turns him on ten times more than he already was in the first place.

Keigo will also use his feathers on you 100%.

A small gasp leaves your lips at the feeling of something soft stimulating your sex. You lower your eyes, undeniably turned on by the sight of one of Keigos feathers matching the momentum of his thrusts as his hips slam into yours.

Your eyes travel back up to your lovers face, unable to hold back the moan that escapes your lips as he winks at you with a smirk and picks up his pace.

Undeniably into praise. He absolutely loves when you tell him how good he's making you feel and how he's the only one who possibly could make you feel this way. Definitely gets cocky about it.

Along with his love for praise he also has a love for degrading. He loves the way you instantly start moaning louder and tightening up when he starts calling you his little slut and cocksleeve, it's enough to make his dick twitch.

Definitely possessive and protective as hell over you. Being Keigos sidekick meant a lot of work related arguments about recklessness from both sides. These arguments often times lead to hate sex.

A harsh tug on your arm stops you dead in your tracks as you turn around to come face to face with your fiancee, the scowl on his face giving away exactly what he was feeling before he could even get a chance to open his mouth.

"What the fuck was that." His breath was hot as it fanned over your face, the smell of mint unmissable. "That, Keigo, was me doing my fucking job." "No y/n, that was you being careless! What the fuck were you thinking risking your life like that?!" " Last time i checked that was our job description! We're supposed to be risking our lives to save innocent people, or does that suddenly mean nothing to you anymore?" "I don't fucking care about them I care about you! I have half a mind to remove you from field work thanks to that little stunt!" " For fucks sake Keigo! What are you gonna do?! Tie me to a fucking desk?!"

Within two seconds your back was pressed against a wall, your fiancees hands slamming down next to your head as he moves his face dangerously close to yours.

" Tread lightly princess, or i just might."

Adding to the possessiveness, i feel like Keigo will be one jealous son of a bitch with no shame at all.

Like he'd take you out for dinner at some fancy restaurant to treat you, only to have your waiter start flirting with you. Keigos blood would start boiling, his jaw set as he'd glare at the man flirting with his mate.

As soon as the waiter leaves he'd make some snarky, passive aggressive comments about the scenario before dragging you into the bathroom mumbling " If he can't see who you belong to I guess I'll have to show him"

He'd then proceed to shamelessly pound the fuck out of you in the restaurant making sure everyone, especially that waiter, could hear every single sound the left your lips. He'd leave so many hickeys on your neck. He needs to mark what's his.

"You're mine. You understand me? You belong to me baby, you're all mine." His hand roughly grabs your face making you look him in the eyes. "Say it." He gets impatient, lifting his hand to lightly slap your face, the action drawing a moan from your lips. " I said fucking say it."

Total exhibitionist. You have definitely been pinned against the large windows in your apartment or even his agency, on full display to anyone walking by as he fucks you nice and hard.

I feel like aftercare with Keigo would be little things that don't necessarily classify as aftercare but comforts you both.

After pulling out of you Keigo would lay down next to you, his hands wrapping around your body to pull you closer as his heart hammers in his chest and he waits for his breathing to calm down a tad.

He'd then get up, tug on a pair of boxers and grab the box of cigarettes and lighter on his bedside table before heading out to the balcony.

You'd slip out of bed, putting on his shirt before joining him outside. Your arms would be wrapped around his waist while he smoked, both of you enjoying the slight late night breeze and the sound of the bustling city before heading inside to snuggle up and fall asleep together.

[im-whatchamccallit]

Crushcrushcrush//Kim Hongjoong (ATEEZ)

Request:  Hi i was wondering if you could do a soulmate werewolf hongjoong x human female reader angst and fluff like she over hears hongjoong saying something and she gets sad and shy and worried and stuff.....

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst with fluff at the end, Werewolf!AU, Soulmate!AU, a bit of College!AU

Warnings: Hongjoong’s kind of a dick with irrational thinking, cussing I guess

Word Count: 7.2k

(A/N: Lets just pretend I didn’t disappear for 6 whole months, but i am back and my medication is no longer giving me the big sad so I’m a little more motivated to write.This isn’t the best work I’ve done, this is actually idea 10 for this prompt and idk if it’s executed properly but Imma keep trying and hopefully, to keep from falling back into a slump, I’ll start a new series so I have a regular scheduled fic for everyone. Also, I think I botched expressing the AUS here but just let me know what you think. Sorry for always disappearing, I can’t promise I won’t go off the grid again but I’ll try harder to be active in anyway)

Your mother always said crushes stayed crushes for a reason: they hurt. Bad. But you thought she was wrong, that your feelings for someone could one day be reciprocated later if not sooner, and that’s what led you to him. Kim Hongjoong. The day you met was a complete accident, your body slamming into his as you wandered aimlessly during your freshman year of high school. He was gorgeous with wide brown eyes, beautiful pink lips and cheeks, his hair styled differently from the other boys to reveal his forehead, showing his individuality. He was perfection.

“I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Those were the first words he spoke to you, his voice so gentle, so sweet. And the way he reached out to help you with no hesitation, holding your hands as he pulled you up effortlessly.

It was love at first sight, all until he looked down to your hands, eyes catching a glimpse of your wrist, a row of zeros peeking through the sleeve of your uniform jacket. He slowly pushed the fabric up, both your eyes widening to see your soulmate clock had finally timed out, his hands releasing yours to check his own wrist, a quiver to his lips as his clock matched yours, his once soft eyes now hard as he stared you down.

“Stay far away from me.” He warned, not saying another word as he headed to his homeroom, your body frozen as you watched him disappear. He was so harsh, yet you liked him. Maybe suddenly finding his soulmate scared him, but it was no problem to you! You were bound to end up together so you played the waiting game with him, being the perfect soulmate you could possibly be whether he accepted it or not.

And that led you here, now seniors in college and still acting the way you were when you met. Hongjoong was still cold, treating you like some plague while you could only smile along. You weren’t sure how you missed the fact you lived in a predominantly werewolf area until a public service announcement came on your television one night to remind humans to stay indoors during the full moon, that night dedicated to werewolves being as free as they could be, but it made you even more hopeful when you were on your way home from work one night, taking a shortcut through the woods since it lead right to your backyard.

You were 16 at the time, so the sight of a shirtless person would obviously make you flustered, but a shirtless Hongjoong? Enough to cause a nosebleed. He was 16 as well, the exact age a werewolf develops a mate bond and, seeing as you’ve already been confirmed as soulmates in the human world, the sudden desire to latch onto you and never let you go once you locked eyes only made your lifelong attachment more real, and he was freaking out. He didn’t speak, opting to shift without removing the remainder of his clothes, your eyes wide as he moved deeper through the thick trees and towards the horizon where the orange sky was in full view and, the grin on your face just couldn’t stop growing. You knew werewolves had a stronger drive to their mates, so the idea that he could avoid you forever was laughable. Sure, you were both 23 and he has uped his disdain for you from staying silent to calling you any vile name he could think of, but it was only a matter of time before he came around. You just knew it.

“(Y/n), stop gawking.” Miyeon joked, poking your side to snap you from your daydreams, your eyes widening when you noticed a few of Hongjoong’s friend’s catching your gaze, a blush painting your face as you turned away.

“I wasn’t gawking, just making sure their table was okay. I am their waitress tonight.”

“And every other night because you said, and I quote, ‘I wanna work at any table my Joongie’s going to be at!’” She mocked, your eyes rolling as you looked back towards them.

You took a job at a diner just a few blocks from both your apartment and college campus, the pay great and the distance convenient. It was the only time you had to yourself instead of lingering to Hongjoong, figuring out his classes and breaks to give him snacks and lunches you’d personally make for him since you overheard him complain about the campus food before, only to be told they tasted like shit and he’d find his own food. It was a bit of a kick to the face to hear that, but you had one saving grace: his pack. The first time Hongjoong sent you away with a bitter remark, they were curious about you, tracking you down when they weren’t with their alpha to get more info on who you were and what you found so loveable about the man treating you like some demon. They were surprised by how sweet you were and how accepting you were to be the unwanted luna of an eight-wolf pack. They could never hate Hongjoong but they sure as hell loved you just a little more than him. Unbeknownst to both of you, Yunho and Mingi found out where you worked, making a plan with the others to take Hongjoong there as much as possible so he would have no choice but to interact with you, even if he stayed silent to not appear like an asshole in front of the various strangers dining as well. Hongjoong would honestly never return if he had the choice, but something about the restaurant’s signature burger kept bringing him back, which is why he was here, sipping his soda angrily as he waited on his meal that would be served by his worst nightmare, you.

“I don’t know why you don’t just find someone else. Isn’t it easy for humans to reject soulmates? You could move on with no problems.” She said, helping you grasp onto the steel tray covered in various meals, a huff leaving you as you put on a bright smile.

“Because I know it’s harder to move on for wolves. You guys don’t have a choice on who your mates are, and you just accept it once you meet them. I know Hongjoong will accept me eventually, it’s just gonna take some time.” You gave one more smile before wobbling towards the table in question.

Hongjoong tried not to follow the gaze of his pack as they watched you happily approach them, letting out a huff as you adjusted the tray onto your shoulder, grasping the plates and placing them in front of the respective person, Hongjoong’s nose twitching at the smell of his burgers and fries, not wasting anytime to dig in as the other’s thanked you, but you shyly looked at the male before you, the tray pressed to your chest as you tried to find a casual way to speak with him.

“I-uh- I-I remembered last time you asked for extra cheese, so I decided to put cheese in the burger too! I hope you like it better than the tofu stew I made you for lunch the other week.”

“I didn’t ask for extra cheese this time, so why put it inside my burger where I can’t take it off?” He said spitefully, mouth still full as he set the half-eaten burger down.

Your smile faltered but bounced back as you reached towards his plate.

“O-oh! Well, I can take it back and make you another! This time I ca-“

“’This time’? You should’ve just done it from the start. Your job is to listen and do what you’re told and you can’t even do that? What can you do right?”

You swallowed hard, your eyes wandering to the people now staring at you as the scene unfolded, your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you tried to hold it together. The worst he’s called you in an idiot and that was usually under his breath, so to practically say it out loud, in front of strangers while you were in the middle of a shift and forced to do nothing but smile like you usually would, felt like you were being stabbed and burned simultaneously. You couldn’t keep smiling, looking down as you tried to apologize, only for him to cut you off once again.

“Go bother someone else. Or hide in the back if you’re just gonna keep fucking up this much.”

The space was eerily silent, even with the soft music playing, your eyes not leaving your shoes as you shuffled away. It was a pitiful sight, Seonghwa releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as you went to a neighboring table to retrieve plates and glasses left by a couple from before. He was ready to tear Hongjoong’s head off, not as a gamma to an alpha but as one friend to another, his jaw tight as he prepared to berate him the way he did you but, somehow, Wooyoung beat him by asking a question none of them thought to ask before.

“What did she ever do to you that you have to treat her like that?”

There was a strange but tense silence as they awaited his answer, watching him taking small bites of his fries as he stared ahead at nothing before turning to them with what could only be described as a sadistic smirk.

“Imagine being 13 and finding out the best years of your life, the years of dating, hooking up, just discovering who you are, are gone because your mate decides to show up and take that from you.”

“Are you fucking stupid? That’s the reason we have mates, so we can do those things with one person instead of random people!” Seonghwa nearly yelled, trying to keep his voice low as to not alarm anymore spectators again.

“For the past 7 years, I’ve been trying to get her to leave or just reject me, but it’s clear to me now that she’s just an idiot that doesn’t understand she’s not needed, by me or anyone. And, if you’re as dumb as her, I’ll simplify it for you: she’s unwanted.”

Whatever pain you felt before suddenly disappeared into a numbness you couldn’t explain. He knew you were there, that you could hear him, that you would hear him, and yet he still said it. You were conflicted and sad, your lips curling in a mixture of disgust and anger before settling on a bright smile. Never mind the fact your tears finally spilled over, that your heart ached with every beat and your body felt heavy with the weight of being rejected by someone you waited so long for, you just had to smile. Soulmates were supposed to be a sure thing, supposed to be your happily ever after, yet it just turned out to be a crush, one that you should’ve let die the day you met him.

“(Y/n/n)…” Miyeon spoke cautiously as you made your way towards the bar, your other coworkers watching from beside her as if you were some strange spectacle.

“We have to start cleaning, y’know? It’ll help us get out of here a lot faster tonight.” You said in your usual cheerful tone, tears still flowing and a faint crack to your voice.

“How about you just head home for the day, (Y/n)? We can handle everything from here.” Your manager said, her eyes scanning your face as you moved past them and to the kitchen, their bodies following instinctively.

“What? No! I’m fine! We still have 4 more hours to go and I think if I get a head start with the chefs for tomorrow lunch specials I ca-“

“(Y/n), please-“

“I’m fine, Miyeon! Really! It’s not like I got broken up with or anything, I never even had a boyfriend! Just a crush on someone that thinks I’m a waste of space! Isn’t that super ironic? Spending most of your life chasing after someone that wants nothing to do with you? That’s really funny, right?” You choked out, lips pursing into a thin line to keep in your sobs but your attempts were futile, everything slowly starting to hit you at once until your body collapsed, one of the other servers catching you before you hit the ground.

It was all a blur from there, the words of comfort everyone offered turning into muffled noise as your cries of agony came out freely, the way Miyeon dragged you from the emergency exit at the back of the building and to her car to take you home, and even when you crawled into bed and managed to sleep despite the pounding headache. 7 years came and went and there was nothing to show for it. No soulmate, no boyfriend, no romance, not even a friendship. You were empty and for some reason the only thing filling your heart and mind was the person who broke you.

It felt like time stood still yet hours had passed, Hongjoong back in his own bedroom pressing away at his keyboard, stopping occasionally to write a few notes down from his new composition, but he wasn’t distracted enough to hear his door open, various footsteps entering and even a few bodies settling in on his bed, his eyes not bothering to leave his notebook as he figured this moment would come.

“You don’t need to lecture me.” He grumbled, going back to play a few more notes only to find his keyboard unplugged, Mingi tossing the cord away as his alpha stared him down.

“It’s only a lecture if you listen and learn, which you won’t, so we’re gonna make you feel as bad as possible for driving away the only person that gave a shit about you.” San said with a bright smile, a scoff leaving Hongjoong as he finally turned in his chair to face them, eyes scanning the room to see this situation wasn’t playful but truly hostile, almost like an ambush.

“So, you guys don’t care about me?”

“Trying to get you to accept your soulmate so you don’t die shows we care a lot more than we should.” Yeosang spoke, making himself comfortable as he sat against the pillow and headboard.

“But we’re the real assholes for trying to force her with someone as shitty as you.” Seonghwa finally said, Hongjoong’s head snapping in his direction as he let out a dry chuckle, shifting in his seat so he was leaning backwards, arms crossed as he told himself to stay calm during his friend’s potential tantrum.

“I feel like you have the most to say since you’ve been in love with my mate the longest, so go ahead, tell me how I’m such a bad man, Seonghwa. I’m all ears.” His smugness made the tension worse, Seonghwa stepping closer with clenched fist.

“I’m not in love with you mate, but if I didn’t know someone was waiting for me because we were fated to be together, maybe I would have asked (Y/n) out, because she deserves better than a lowlife with the brain function of a dead goldfish. But I respect her too much as your mate and my luna to not push those boundaries so I tried to help her get closer to you because I know you, Hongjoong. You’re not an asshole or a jerk, but to her? You treat her like shit, when really you’d have no one without her. You’re a short, scrawny, nerdy moron that locks himself in a dark room for days on end just to complete a single project, then emerge to eat cold pizza and watch Despicable Me because your pea-sized brain can’t comprehend anything that isn’t brightly colored animation. If you take away your alpha status, no girl would even look in your direction but you have someone literally at your side, the only human not afraid of you, trying to figure out everything there is to know about you, yet you can’t give her the time of day. You probably don’t even know a damn thing about her.”

“Unfortunately, I know more than enough about her.” Hongjoong spoke, all amusement gone as he glared at the older male, their mindlink clogged with threatening growls and barks, trying to keep their fight from getting physical.

That first sentence alone made Hongjoong’s blood boil, his face contorted in a mixture of pain and disgust. How could Seonghwa even say that to him, plotting to steal his mate all because he was a bit uncertain? That all it was, uncertainty! He didn’t hate you, or wish you weren’t around, he actually grew to anticipate and enjoy your ramblings about your day or whatever new thing caught your attention, he actually even loved the lunches that you’d make for him. He couldn’t help that over the years he grew to crave you more, but the thought of fully accepting you and solidifying that the best years of his life were about to be gone, restricted to one person forever before he could even determine for himself his likes and dislikes, what he considered real love rather than what fate wanted him to feel, was terrifying. So he distanced himself from you, spending the years watching you from afar in hopes that if he didn’t get too close he wouldn’t lose his free will completely.

But it was a bad habit that seeped into your college years, everyone assuming he cared so little for you when he knew everything there was to know. He knew where you worked before any of the boys did, where your apartment was, the fact you were a business major planning to open a bakery once you graduated, he knew you didn’t have classes on Fridays but always came back on campus because you prepared meals for the men’s and women’s wrestling team which is where Jongho first met you, he knew you hated mint chocolate chip ice cream just like him but loved chocolate ice cream with mint chips, he knew you were always cold but overheat at night and wake up at exactly 3am to change into shorts and a tank top to be more comfortable, he knew about the birthmark on your lower back and a scar on your hip from a cat scra-

“Holy shit, you’re insane.” Wooyoung breathed out, Hongjoong’s eyes focusing on the room in front of him, a mixture of shocked expressions and amused ones filling his vision.

“I liked it better when we thought you hated her but, hyung, you’ve been stalking her since your freshman year of high school?” Jongho asked cautiously.

It was a weird feeling bubbling inside Hongjoong, the primary one being embarrassment. He knew he’d sometimes unintentionally rant in their mindlink whenever he was upset but to make an almost decade long secret public to his pack, revealing the intimate details of how you slowly but surely ingrained yourself into not only his brain but his life until he felt like he was going crazy? It made him tear up, his face burn with a blush as he was finally forced to face the truth. He pushed you away but wanted you more than anything. He wanted to spend his years free to explore before finally settling down only to reject every girl that came close to him simply because they weren’t you, and he took that anger out on you. What was he so mad about? The fact you stood by his side with a smile happily accepting him while he tried and failed to lust after other women? Was he that pathetic? He could admit now that he was and, if he could turn back time, he would’ve introduced himself and walked you to class. Just the first step of fully accepting you.

“You’re still ranting in the mindlink, you know?” Seonghwa said softly, regaining the once again lost focus of his alpha who was too consumed in his own pity to notice the tension died down, their gazes soft as they tried to sympathize with their leader.

“Sorry. I wish none of you heard that stuff.” He admitted, sniffling as he realized he’d been crying, hand hurriedly wiping away tears from his cheeks.

“Well, it’s a good thing we did. We still think you’re a moron, but at least we know you’re feeling guilty about all of this.”

“Don’t worry, Joong, if you know (Y/n) like we do, she always sees the best in people, so she’ll forgive you. But you still have to apologize.” San followed up Mingi’s words, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong shoulders while giving a bright smile in response to his weak one.

“She’s my TA in Calc 3 and I have that class around noon tomorrow. She always stays after in case anyone has questions, so I can stall until you get there.” Yunho offered, Hongjoong feeling a slight warmth in his chest thinking about it all. He’d let go of his insecurities, fix everything he’s done wrong, and finally have you as his. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

And tomorrow did come, but you were nowhere to be found. When Hongjoong arrived to Yunho’s class, he was met with a sympathetic apology on the account that you didn’t show up that day, you weren’t even at any of your other classes. The boys even tried to find you at work only to be met with a mob of your pissed coworkers led by Miyeon, threatening to rip their heads off if she saw their faces again. And that lasted for nearly 3 days, Hongjoong’s hope slowly dwindling away until he noticed two figures sneakily meeting halfway at the school’s entrance to exchange a large white cooler.

He recognized those bulky arms anywhere, and the thick Aussie accent was a dead giveaway as well, especially when it was followed by a distinct giggle. There was no mistaking it was Chan, but he could barely see the person with him, their voice low as they spoke to him and face hidden beneath a hood, but the scent emitting from them was strong, and beautiful, his eyes widening as he finally took it all in. You looked different, wearing a dark grey matching sweat suit which was a complete 180 from your usual attire, and you smelled faintly of passionfruit, possibly a change to your normal shampoo in an attempt to disguise yourself, but that thought only made his heart hurt more. Were you intentionally avoiding him? He could understand you hating him now but you were even ignoring the others in his pack, going from friends to complete strangers in a matter of hours and leaving them all devastated. He was going to fix this, here and now, if not for him and you than for his friends.

“Jongho’s been pretty upset about you not responding to his text. It’d really help if you stopped by to at least let him know you’re okay.” Chan pleaded, giving you a dimpled smile and hopeful gaze that made it impossible for you to hide your blushing face and grin.

“I just need a little more time, Chris. It’s like if you broke up with your mate and all the friends you made through her left you too. Except it’s me being broken up with by someone who was never my boyfriend and his friends came to me instead of me going to them. But, still, it hurts all the same.” You laughed slightly, trying to find some humor in the situation.

“You’re the only person that still calls me Chris.” He commented, trying to redirect the conversation as you clearly weren’t fine, neither of you noticing the burning glare just a few meters away.

“I just think it fits you best.” You admitted, neither of you breaking eye contact until you gasped, staring down to the box of food and drinks you bought.

“You should hurry to practice. You need to eat beforehand otherwise you’ll be weak after warmups alone. And I worked hard making those sandwiches and cutting that fruit, if it goes bad because you stayed here to cheer me up, I’ll really be mad.” You tried to put on your best scowl, your scolding undermined by his amused laughter.

“Alright, fine. Just stay safe, please?” You nodded, waving as you watched him turn to head to the school’s gymnasium, missing the way Chan glared at Hongjoong as he continued forward. Chan and Hongjoong’s packs were close, family almost, so the news of what Hongjoong did and why reached them in no time, and Chan was hoping today things would be fixed soon because, apart from you being the wrestling team’s beloved personal chef, you were like a sister to him.

You wasted no time leaving the campus behind, ready to go back into the darkness of your bedroom to forget you existed. You really wish you could disappear, that the ground would split beneath you and swallow you whole, but you couldn’t just leave when your phone was filled with calls and messages from friends and coworkers wondering where you were and if you were fine. So many people cared, what kind of person would you be to leave them all alone like this, especially when all they wanted was to help you? But being alone helped, trying to live life as normal as possible while adjusting to a Hongjoong-free lifestyle helped. It would take some time, but you’d find your normal someday. All you had to do was avoid-

“(Y/n)!” Your body froze.

He rarely called you by your name but his voice was distinct on its own, and it was the most sickly sweet thing you’ve ever heard. You wanted to run, to never have him see you like this. Dear god, how did you even look right now? You felt like shit, you probably looked the part. Dammit, Hongjoong was right all along, you were shit. You were worse than shit, you were just pathetic. A pathetic, lovestruck loser itching to just turn and say hi, to have the conversation you always dreamed of but you knew that wouldn’t happen. He’ll yell at you again. He’ll-

“(Y/n)? H-hi…” Hongjoong said shyly, standing right in front of you as you shrank into yourself.

His brows furrowed as you looked away, mentally arguing with yourself as you went over the days of self-reflecting you did, trying to find some lesson from your solitude to aid in this situation and it was starting to scare him. You were never quiet with him, you always had something to say even if it wasn’t important but, luckily, he had something important to say and hopefully you’d listen.

“I- T-the other day…. I w-was…. I-I’m sorry.” He stammered out, this confession a lot harder than he thought, especially now that you were facing him, eyes just as innocent as the day he met you, but he couldn’t run away this time.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, honestly. Everyone told me I was an idiot and I think they’re right. I treated you like you were garbage for years, all because I didn’t want to be mated so young. I just wanted to date around before I finally settled down with someone and, m-maybe I could’ve just said that, so you didn’t have to wait around for me all these years but, I never hated you, and I can’t hate you. I know you won’t forgive me right away but I think it’s only fair that I can be a good mate to you now.”

He swallowed hard, trying to suppress the desperate ‘please’ he wanted to add as your pupils began to shake, almost as if you were a machine malfunctioning, none of your self-reflecting preparing you for this moment, the only thing coming to mind being some sad blog article you found during your second day of isolation. ‘Forgiving and forgetting too soon is dangerous. Find yourself’. It wasn’t what you wanted but maybe what you need, what he needed. So, without hesitation, you smiled brightly at him although it never reached your eyes, clearing your throat as you tried to keep your voice steady.

“Hongjoong, I can’t forgive you easily. I waited for you, I tried to make you accept me and it always ended up with me getting hurt. Honestly, if I just treated you like a regular crush, maybe we could’ve forgotten we’re meant to be together until after graduation or something.” You laughed awkwardly, wanting to look away as his eyes softened in the saddest way, but you needed to do this, eyes locked on his as you exhaled through your nose.

“I couldn’t be by your side all the time, so whether you dated anyone is still a mystery to me but, I’ve been alone for seven years hoping you’d come around, and I think it’s time I take those years back. I’m not sure if what you said counted as a rejection or if we’re still mates but, if we are, we’ll come back to each other eventually. For now, I just need some time.”

You managed to walk past him without completely collapsing in tears, speed walking back to your apartment as you tried to swallow sobs, not even taking in the way Hongjoong stumbled to follow you, almost like a zombie as he attempted to plead for you to reconsider, to force himself to accept your decision but ask how long you needed, but he couldn’t do that. He tried to picture himself in your shoes, seven years of pining only to be publicly humiliated by the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. He couldn’t blame you for not forgiving him, and he sure as hell couldn’t force you, so he let you go, trudging in the opposite direction to his two story apartment just to hide in his bedroom until he didn’t feel like dying anymore.

But as more days passed and it only got harder for Hongjoong. He barely left his room but also never slept, every song he created was played in minor scales to fit his now melancholy life. The charisma he typically exuded was hidden with puffy red eyes from crying and a yellow knit sweater a few sizes too large for his body but it was the only thing that comforted him at this point, especially when knowing you had reconnected with everyone but him.

After exactly one week of distancing yourself from the world, you caved and meet with the boys individually (sans Hongjoong), apologizing for needing space although they completely understood, but the way each interaction ended made your guts churn with guilt. ‘Stay safe, luna’, that’s how all of them addressed you before they left, leaving you filled with the desire to return to how things were before. You missed your friends and, the fact your mate was finally ready to claim you, only made you want to forgive Hongjoong sooner. But you needed to be your own person for once. You had seven years worth of relationships to catch up on and you wouldn’t let them keep you from that.

Except when they did.

You should’ve known it was risky letting them know you had a date so soon, just some other human on campus that had yet found his soulmate. They sounded happy for you, Wooyoung going so far to ask where you met and where your date would be and what time, giving suggestions on what to say and wear since it was “your first”. It was a sweet gesture, and you thought nothing of it, but that information meant everything to him which led to now, the boys huddled together in their living room with a slightly paler and sickly looking Hongjoong curled into the corner of their loveseat.

“So they’re going bowling tonight at 8:30? We could ask her about it tomorrow in case she’s into him because hyung isn’t looking too great.” Yeosang commented, everyone looking to Hongjoong as he managed to drown his entire body within the sweater, only his head visible as he stared ahead like some lost puppy.

“He’s just weak from not being around her for so long, but their bond is still there so he’s fine. But we have nothing to worry about. She won’t fall in love with him so don’t get too involved, she’ll just stop talking to us again if we meddle too much.” Seonghwa warned, a chorus of ‘Okays’ confirming their dismissal as they all stood to retreat to their bedrooms.

“Wait, who is she going out with anyways? There’s only 10 other humans at that school.” Mingi’s question cause everyone to freeze, the silence in the room contrasting with the faint answer Woooyung gave in their mindlink, Hongjoong turning to look at him with hurt and pain.

“Why didn’t you say it was Yugyeom?!”

“I did! Just not to you, until now because I forgot to tune you out.” He said shyly, flinching as Hongjoong ran past him and right out their front door, none of them sure of what to do at that point.

It was such a minor yet major detail. Kim Yugyeom was admittedly the most wanted person any of them could think of. Human girls wanted him, werewolf girls wanted him, most guys couldn’t help but stare whenever he passed by. He was gorgeous with eyes that sparkled every time he smiled. He spoke about his soulmate with so much passion despite never meeting her, following his words with how he’d treat any girl before her with the same love and care. It was a pick up line meant to hook any hopelessly romantic girl in, the sweetest way to say their relationship wouldn’t last. But this was Kim Yugyeom, they knew it was only meant with good intentions, not wanting to string someone along with the false hope they’d be together forever. And that’s exactly what you needed. To explore while knowing you’d always come back to Hongjoong. But that’s not what Hongjoong wanted. He didn’t want you dating anyone else, finding temporary happiness when he was supposed to give you a lifetime of it. And humans were more flexible with their soulmates, they had the privilege to move one without the pain or withdrawals of losing their mate. Werewolves just died if they were rejected, heartbreak and loneliness consuming them, so there was no telling how your heart would react to someone exactly like you. Maybe you’ll fall in love with him. Maybe he’ll abandon his soulmate for you once he learns how amazing you are. Maybe Hongjoong would die from lack of food and sleep before he even reached your apartment, which he was still sprinting full speed towards. It was only 7:30pm, meaning he had an hour before you and Yugyeom went out, but he didn’t have a plan. He had no idea what he was doing, but he needed to stop you before you found yourself in love with someone else.

It was like some scene in a drama, Hongjoong’s chest heaving as he finally came to a stop just outside your apartment. His body felt like giving out as he climbed the two flights of stairs to your door, only to find you waving shyly to Yugyeom just as he turned away, trying not to lock eyes with Hongjoong but Hongjoong’s eyes were only trained on you, yours finding his as a panicked look crossed your face. Should you look away? Go back inside? What was he even doing there? You never told the boys your address… You gasped as he approached you, swallowing hard as you tried to remain calm, but how could you stay calm when you finally got a good look at him?

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You didn’t hesitate to ask, stepping further from your door to examine him, reaching for his face only to stumble back to your original position. You were making great progress, you can’t do that now.

“I’ve been better, but even then I wasn’t fine.” He said with a dry chuckle, your lips curling into a fake smile to not show how much his appearance affected you. He looked like he was on the brink of death. You knew wolves would get sick without their mates, but was it really killing him? Were you killing him?

“Joongi-Uhm, Hongjoong, how about you sit down? You look like you’re going to faint.” You offered, stepping back to allow him inside, watching him stumble past you and straight to your sofa as if he owned the place.

It was such an awkward moment for you, watching the poor boy curl into himself as his sweater practically became his body, a sigh leaving your lips as you shut your door. Instead of healing yourself, you had to heal him. It was oddly pitiful but your instincts screamed at you to do it.

Hongjoong shut his eyes as he eased into your sofa, feeling more comfortable than he was in his own home, even more so with your scent invading his senses, your body warmth radiating onto his as you carefully took a seat, trying to figure out what to do.

“Do you need food, or water? Or a doctor?” You asked, the giggle he let out this time weak but still enough to make your heart beat a bit faster.

“I just need you near me.” He admitted.

You let out a squeak as he shamelessly fell into your lap, head comfortably resting against your thighs as he laid face up. You couldn’t stop your hand from easing through his unnaturally colored locks, melting at how soft they were, bottom lip trapped under your teeth as you had to fight off the desire to cup his face. You’ve never gotten this close to him and he wasn’t telling you to go away, instead letting out content purrs as he nuzzled closer to you, your eyes burning with unshed tears. Why couldn’t he just want you from the start? You’d would’ve been able to hold him like this all the time, to see him happy and healthy rather than a shell of his former self. But he didn’t want you, and now he was at your apartment just to keep himself from dying. It was silly to think he cared about you as much as he did himself.

“Of course you do.” You whispered, laughing bitterly as your hand left his hair, moving to his arm to ease him back up into a sitting position.

You couldn’t get past him no matter how hard you tried, nor did you want to, but every word he said, everything he’s done, followed you like a ghost haunting some poor unsuspecting soul. Why did you have to love someone who didn’t love you the same? Why was this your life?

“Can you just hold me a little longer? P-please?” He asked with a cute whine to his voice.

You sighed and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him back into his previous position, fingers massaging his scalp as he finally opened his eyes to look at you. You were beautiful, even with the frown lines etched into your face. He wonder how long they’ve been there, especially when he’s only seen you smiling. Maybe you spent your alone time more upset than he thought. Where you upset before he came? You couldn’t be when Yugyeom was here, no one could be upset with him around. Except Hongjoong. He felt a grudge building inside him just from the mere thought of him with you. He felt like interrogating you on what he was doing here in the first place and why you gave your address out to just anyone, but it wasn’t his place to ask and probably wouldn’t be for a while, but jealousy and rage was all he felt so any reasonable thinking was thrown out the window.

“I don’t want you to see Yugyeom anymore.” He said definitely, your eyes widened as you stared at him incredulously, an amused giggle leaving your lips.

“That’s not for you to choose, Hongjoong. I told you I need time-“

“Those seven years you’ve been waiting I couldn’t be with anyone else. I always compared every girl I met to you and none of them came close to being as perfect, now I have to watch you date some dance major with pretty eyes because I was an insecure dumbass? He has a soulmate, and he’s always going to choose them no matter how much you like each other, so why not save your feelings? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, but just don’t fall in love with anyone else.”

You tried so hard to hide your smile. This wasn’t something you typically liked, possessive guys being on the list of things you found annoying, but considering it was Hongjoong, his soft eyes hard and sharp as their hue seemed to go pitch black as his words were both sweet and demanding, made you fall in love just a little more than you already were. You wanted to take this as his confession, as a truce in your previous one-sided enemyship, to tell him that you told Yugyeom you couldn’t go out with him because you could only see yourself with Hongjoong, but you needed time. Not time to date and explore the way you thought he had, but to watch him work as hard as you did to prove he was ready and willing to love you. It was a little malicious, sure, but it was all in good fun. He’d always be your mate after all.

“I don’t know, Hongjoong, you really hurt me…”

“It hurt knowing I wasn’t with you.” Your smile cracked through, causing his own to appear, your game already over.

“And how do you think I felt? You think you can make up seven years worth of waiting so easily?”

You squealed as he shot up, magically seeming more alive than when he arrived, eyes full of life and his lips and cheeks the same rosy color as when you met him, hands warm and soft as he cupped your face.

“Good thing I have forever to do it.”

The silence was comfortable but unbearable, especially as he hesitated to lean closer, your lips puckering to guide him but he didn’t seem to be catching on and, when he did, you shifted back, laughing awkwardly as you stared at one another, both of you taking a deep breath as you finally closed the gap between you, a weird electric sensation you could only dream of as your lips slowly grew accustom to one another, moving so slow yet feeling so urgent. It was all still new to the both of you, romance and dating only now becoming part of your lives, but it was exciting knowing that you had years ahead of you to perfect it, your entire lives dedicated to loving one another. And it only took a seven year crush to get you here.

[ohcoolnice]

Okay so some people (read: one person, and it may have been jokingly) asked me to continue so y'all Imma break down some of my favorite scenes that I'm thinking of off the top of my head:

Starting off with episode 1:

holy hell so many SO MANY scenes but i'm going to start with the scene where Pablo's men come to kill Vincenzo.

Right before this we have the shot with Vincenzo sitting alone on his couch. He's thinking. Close-up on the lighter and all that (SERATONIN). Then parallel to the dark, empty same room, it's nighttime.

Now we've seen so little of Vincenzo but we know he's clever, and we also know that if he was sleeping, we would get that shot. Camera isn't here to trick us (well, not yet anyways), the camera is here to trick them. They think he's sleeping. He's not.

And the shot when he's coming out of the bathroom: SO MANY THINGS HERE:

- first of all, stunning, gorgeous, brilliant.

- secondly, let's talk wardrobe, because this is what I live for rn. The costume design in this show good lord:

- He's in pyjama's. GOOD GOD HE IS IN PJ'S. Why is this such a big deal to me? Think of James Bond movies, or really any movie with a similar scene. The assailant would be dressed in a suit or at least daytime clothes. So they could leave after. But the SHEER AUDACITY of this man showing up in his silks, sweeping the robe wide around him when he spins, and then shooting his would-be killers without changing his expression, not even BLINKING when the gun goes off (idk how sjk does this time after time but that's massive testament to his acting as well).

- the pj's are so symbolic of his character. This shit is his life. He knew it was coming, he didn't give any shits. It wasn't hurried, he didn't at the last minute hide pillows under the blankets: no no no. BOY WAS WAITING UP FOR THESE DUDES and fully was ready to just go back to sleep after. Gives no shits. It's kill or be killed, so he's adapted and accepted it's his life. Later in the show when they're betrayed, Cha-young asks Vincenzo if this (them being betrayed) doesn't bother him.

"I'm used to it." is his expressionless answer. GOD. So genius.

Now i don't like talking about this because I don't want to spoil for anyone who hasn't seen the show so SPOILER WARNING for the early episodes IM SERIOUS LOOK AWAY.

k cool.

so Junwoo. What caught my eye in episode 4 was not only his shirts but the angle at which he is shot at. Now this might just be me reading into it but i don't think so. Everything (mostly) is deliberate in this show, and shots are so carefully chosen i refuse to believe it's a mistake.

Before filming, camera angles are measured in reference to actors and the scene, to get their "good side" or to capture the feel of the scene and whatnot etc. SO tell me I'm crazy when all of a sudden we're no longer getting these simple, leveled shots of junwoo, but all of a sudden the angle is lower, or higher, we see him from what I feel is close to cha-young's eye level, and the shadow and lighting in the scene gives him a sharper profile, highlights the fact that he's buff.

I remember saying out loud to myself while watching for the first time "why is this random intern dude so buff" and then putting it down initially to just the actor being buff. And then I was wondering why they wouldn't just cast someone whose body fit the personality a bit more.

And then the end of the episode came and i instantly got it. That simple change in shot forces you to focus more on that character, even if it's irrelevant or brief, that character is now in the back of my mind. and as the blur subsides at the end of the episode and he's revealed, IT"S A SLOW SHIFT IN BLUR, but you KNOW for a good part of it, who it is. And during the shift you have time to think about that scene, or any scene with him, but you look and you think "oh shit. I should have known."

phenmominal. I love that so much.

And (last one okay sorry i know these long posts are probably annoying) I mentioned in the last post about the camera being the narattor. Don't believe me just yet?

Let's look at the scene where we find out Mr. Nam has been listening to their plan the whole time (episode 4 i think?). You think nothing of it because the whole scene is shot like a normal scene, you genuinely believe that the characters you see are the only characters in the scene. And because that's what they also believe, and we're still getting to know them, that makes sense. We see what they see from episodes 1-4 because after that point, everything is revealed, and we know everything (basically) we need to know about these characters, and now the show can really begin.

So when Mr. Nam pops up, yes, it's comedic, but you're also kind of startled because it's been hidden from you too, and it's yet again another warning: Pay attention. There's more going on than what you see.

SO BRILLIANT. SO ASJDKHASLKJD.

I might be overanalysing okay but I've wanted a show this ingenious for my entire existence it's so goddamn perfect.

So much 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌 when I think about this show. I literally watch and just 🤌🤌🤌🤌

[joonkorre]

(love) is a heartache

@drarrymicrofic prompt: hope is a heartache - léon

let it be known that harry goes through life purely on vibes. half of his reasons why for every decision at his big age are “idk imma just hope for the best”

ao3

People’s hearts twinge sometimes. For Draco, he can barely remember the last time he doesn’t have these twinges. It’s pretty normal at this point.

“No, it’s not,” Pansy says. She’s a Healer, so she’s probably right. But Draco prefers to ignore that.

“Leave it be,” Draco murmurs, lips against her scalp, “I’m fine. Say, are you free tomorrow?”

“Yeah. You want to go somewhere?”

“Mm. Sleep.”

They go out the next morning, Pansy in thick makeup and Draco practically drunk under nine layers of Charms. The air is a bit humid, which seems to get worse when the bustling street intensifies in volume into a roaring din. Pansy pulls him under an awning, yanking at his sleeve a bit to try out her disgusting sugary coffee. She always does this whenever she wants to take his attention away from something, which means he just has to look at exactly where she’s doesn’t want him to. As his lips wrap around her lipstick-stained straw, he glances up.

Across the street, a couple strolls through a gushing crowd. Fiery red hair, airy laughter, a pale arm wrapped around her fiancé’s waist. Curls of black, sleek spectacles, a protective palm on his fiancee’s shoulder. They make the perfect picture, a vibrant oil painting. Their existence is formed from bold strokes of sunlight and starburst kisses, with the focal point being a shock of phthalo green and cadmium lemon, two minute specks that make all the difference. As all good paintings do, they pin the viewer on the spot, as if the viewer himself is a thing to behold. Then they shift away.

The exhibit moves forward and out of sight. It’s closing time, the viewer has overstayed his welcome.

Something leaps in Draco’s chest and splatters on the floor of his stomach. Placing her hand over his heart, Pansy frowns at him. She doesn’t ask why Potter stared at someone who looked like a stranger to him. Only tells him to start finding answers.

Months later, on the most awaited day in recent Wizarding history, there’s a knock on Draco’s door.

He throws on a sweater, and a throw, too, for good measure. Ambling to the door, he checks the mail slot before peeking through the peephole. Nobody but a package is outside. Draco hums and unlocks his door, crouching down the moment it opens. What feels like soft satin brushes against his cheek, cool and smooth. With a flash, a pair of shiny dress shoes appear before him.

“Draco.”

Draco peers up as he rises, hands around the package. Potter has his maddening Invisibility Cloak slung over his arm, his roguish charm heightened by a perfectly fitted three-piece suit. A tiny posy is pinned on his left lapel, muted green hellebores with a few sprigs of privet berries. He’s dressed like a man in love.

Draco feels something he hasn’t felt in months at the sight. He’s trained himself to suppress it the moment it showed itself and has been relatively successful until now. The sting, without warning, bursts from within his chest, calling forth a slight wince. Potter’s brows furrow.

"How do you know where I live?"

“How long has this been going on?”

Draco frowns. “Pardon?”

“That,” Potter gestures at Draco’s chest. “The heartache.”

He rears back. What the hell is he supposed to say to that? At Potter’s unchanging expression, Draco shoves his hair out of his face with a quiet huff and puts a hand on the doorknob.

“It’s none of your business. Please leave.”

“It is, actually,” Potter stops the closing door with one arm.

“Excuse me? We haven't had a proper conversation in more than a decade and suddenly you want to act like we're friends? Leave, now.”

“Listen to me. How can it not be my business when I feel it, too?”

“Check with a Healer, then. If you can put past grudges aside, I can hand you Pansy Parkinson’s business card,” Draco grits through his teeth, pushing against the door with his entire body, his throw slipping to the ground.

“Draco, stop, I already know, stop.”

“Know what? No, I don't care. Leave at once, else I’d alert the Aurors.”

A rough slam sends Draco staggering back. Potter pants, hard lines on his face. His chest heaves under his crisp white shirt, its top two buttons unclasped, and he steps over the threshold, closing the door.

“You think they’d believe you?”

The pain shoots from his chest to the rest of his body, and for several seconds, his lungs wouldn’t work. He whips his head away from Potter, who groans and sags against the wall.

“I told you to leave.”

“I’m sorry, that was a shitty thing to say,” Potter says immediately, sweat dotting his temples.

After an uncomfortable pause, clearing his throat, he picks up the near-forgotten package from the carpet. His hand feels around the outline of the object within, rectangular and heavy. Glancing at Draco, he says hoarsely. “I know why you bought this book.”

“Know this, know that, you know nothing,” Draco lunges forward, only for Potter to twist out of the way and raise the package out of his reach.

“The Life-long Burden of Dark Curses: A Caution by Elise Arrowlane, limited edition,” he says, unbothered by Draco’s slackened jaw. “You ordered it from the new bookstore on Diagon months ago. You were small and old and grey, but I recognized you. I always could.”

“Okay,” Draco sneers, “so you’re a stalker. Old news. Anything else?”

“There’s no need to order one. I would’ve borrowed it from Hermione if you had only asked,” Potter says. “Instead, I got curious and read it for myself. That’s how I connected the dots about the heartache, how I realized we’ve both had it since that day years ago.”

“Oh, the day you slashed me into ribbons and almost cut through my heart?” Draco clenches his jaw.

Being able to shout this ugly kind of truth into the perpetrator’s face feels oddly liberating. That is, if liberation also comes with a specific kind of agony that makes Draco want to fall to his knees.

“Dark Magic leaves a mark on both the wizard and their victim, doesn’t it? No need for a book to tell us that,” Potter says, the harsh afternoon glow of him gentled by the soft lamplight in Draco’s hallway. “In certain cases, it even leaves a link. A connection.”

Draco bites the inside of his cheek and looks away. The only consequence from that horrid night was his fucked up heart and nothing else, nothing at all. Whatever Potter is insinuating, he hates it. He hates this. He hates him.

“How are you so sure there’s a connection.”

“I wasn’t,” Potter says. “The Healers said it’s a health thing I developed after the War and I just needed to avoid strenuous activity. I didn’t think much of it, but then I read the book and realized that it usually flared up whenever you watched me.”

Scoffing, Draco turns and stalks into the kitchen. Walking past the boiling kettle, he throws a cabinet door open and grabs a mug, his hand trembling.

“Interesting how my health suffers when I see the bastard who quite literally carved me open.”

“I was eating dinner when I thought I was going to die of a heart attack at 23,” Potter continues. Draco pulls the drawers out, unable to find a single bag of tea for several excruciating moments. “The next day, I was reading about your mother’s death on the Daily Prophet. That was the first sign.”

Grabbing a rag and wetting it, Draco wipes the countertop even as he’s just done so last night.

“When Ginny saw you on the street during our date and extended her hand toward you, you shook it. But your heart ached.

“I saw you looking at the picture of Ginny and I kissing on the front page of Witch Weekly. Your hair was brown and your back was curved, but I saw you. Your heart ached.

“When I announced my engagement to her on the Battle of Hogwarts’s 10th Anniversary, you were clapping along with everyone else. But your heart ached.”

Draco throws the rag on the counter. The kettle whistles, a piercing sound. “What’s your point? Are you here purely to flaunt your relationship and imply that I’m in love with Ginevra Weasley? If so, I got it. Thank you so very much, it’s been enlightening. Now get out.”

“The point is,” Potter says, lifting the kettle off the burner to pour it into Draco’s mug, placing his tea bag in, “unless the article about you being gay was wrong, Ginny isn’t the one you’re in love with.”

“What arti—” Draco stops. “That was years ago.”

His sexuality was leaked to some irrelevant gossip rag, not even making the front page. Nobody noticed, nothing changed, and it hasn’t entered his mind in what feels like forever until Potter reminds him.

“I remember.”

“You—” Draco frowns. His eyes strain on the cup of tea until they hurt. He squeezes them shut, sighing. “It doesn’t prove anything. Perhaps I’m jealous of my childhood nemesis having a better life than me, ever thought of that?”

“Yeah,” Potter says, “I’ve thought about this a lot. Which is why I’m here. To make sure.”

Draco takes it in, then, unable to help himself, curls his lips at Potter and his attire. At his artfully gelled hair, his hanging bow tie, the elegant boutonniere on the lapel of his dark blue suit. His empty ring finger.

“Couldn’t you have chosen a better date to make sure? Preferably before your wedding day?”

Potter steps closer. A respectable distance away, but closer.

“I could’ve, but I spent most of those days in denial. Then the dots connected and I couldn’t deny it anymore, so I decided to just go through with the wedding regardless, be with the woman I loved. Hoped that maybe the odd emotions I had would go away,” he shrugs, raising his eyes to meet Draco’s. “Saw Ginny at the end of the aisle and, well, I couldn’t stop thinking that it should’ve been someone else. All this time, I’ve thought that she didn’t feel… right in my arms, but I pushed it down. And there she was in that white dress.

“Seeing that today was the last straw. I had to leave.”

Draco’s breath catches in his throat. Swallowing it down, he grabs his mug, scooping out the tea bag just to have something to do. He takes a sip without blowing, ignoring its scalding heat.

“That was stupid.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re so fucking stupid,” Draco can feel a headache building. “That was a horrible decision. I never imagined you—you!—out of all people, could be this irresponsible. What the fuck.”

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am. Merlin, that poor fucking woman. If your purpose here is to make me feel bad for Ginevra and all 300 of her relatives for once in my life, you’ve succeeded, congratulations.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that to me, say that to—oh, you’d do what you want no matter what I say, wouldn’t you?”

“Depends on the situation.”

“‘Depends on the situation,’ he says,” Draco mocks, getting a carton of milk from the fridge to save his bitter, bitter tea. Potter doesn’t reply. Stirring the milk in, Draco lets out a heavy sigh.

“What do you want me to do about this?” He says. “I didn’t make you run out of your own wedding. If you expect me to take the blame for your inane decisions, the first person I Floo wouldn’t be the Aurors, but Ginevra Weasley herself.”

A small smile graces Potter’s lips. “I don’t expect anything from you but honesty.”

Draco squints.

“And how will you know if what I say is a lie? Will you reject my genuine answer if it’s not what you want to hear?”

“That won’t be a problem,” Potter says. “I trust your heart will speak the truth for us both.”

There’s a pang in Draco’s chest, and judging from the twitch of Potter’s brow, he can feel it too. Not another word is said, the two men merely facing each other from across a tiny kitchen, considering. Draco can feel the warmth of sunlight beaming through the little window and coating his nape as he leans against the sink, earl grey on his tongue. Lovely citric notes of bergamot drift up his nose. He closes his eyes. What to do, what to do.

Weightless oxfords clack against the yellowed tiles, clear and bright in Draco’s ears. Fabric rustles as Potter slips a hand into his pocket only to retrieve it a second later. Draco lets himself be cornered, barely glancing at the wool-clad arms caging either side of his waist. A clink catches his attention, however, and he tilts his head to the left.

Millimeters beside Draco’s hand on the counter, glinting in the sun, is a wedding band. Draco knows Potter and Ginevra’s in and out, has examined the picture on that day’s issue of the Daily Prophet more times than he should have. He knows the marquise droplets of Ginevra’s gems and the chevron curve of her ring, the blankness of Potter’s own band a dream and a question in his mind.

The band that’s resting on the counter is different. Rustic gold and a fissure in the middle, the fertile earth splitting open to reveal a stream of diamonds, a sparkling river. Draco sets his mug to the side and holds the ring up close, his finger smoothing over the grooves of its texture.

“Did you make a stop at a jewelry store before breaking into my home?” He asks.

“No,” Harry murmurs. Draco looks at him in surprise. “I’ve had this with me for months.”

A pause.

“I thought you said you were in denial.”

“I was, but I knew, somewhat, that I wanted someone else,” Harry’s head lowers, slow and careful, until his forehead rests against Draco’s shoulder. “I told myself that I just liked the way it looked, had to get it in case I didn’t want the other ring anymore. But I got it a size smaller. Been carrying it in my pocket ever since.”

Draco’s heart throbs and throbs. Large hands circle his waist, bunching up the back of his sweater and pressing him close, chest to chest. A blanket of pure heat envelops his body as he breathes in the timeless saffron and neroli of cologne, half-lidded eyes pinned on the band he’s given. Oh, dear, he thinks, and again when it settles at the base of his ring finger with ease, as if it belongs there and never left. Oh, dear.

[unknownwriting]

Hey! Hey! Hey! It's me the peanut! And yes you did my two requests GOOD! 😊 👍 Sooo can I request a Haikyuu scenario/one shot (idk if scenario and one shot are the same) of Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, Takahiro x fem! Bit shy! Fem! S/O? Okay the fem! S/O can sing and play guitars. Only her friends know it. But the rest no one. Not even Aoba Johsai 3rd years knows it. The four know S/O a bit, they have seen in class and once a while in hall like ye know and they know she's a bit shy. Okay her friends saying to show her talent and bit show off. Helping her to bring Guitar amplifier and she the S/O holds a cool electric guitar. And they bring in cafeteria and it's lunch break. S/O is nervous and becomes more shy. One of her friends shout something to everyone pay attention, S/O becomes mooooore nervous. They grab a microphone, microphone is also from (name). S/O take deep breath and close her eyes, so she thinks she's alone. She sings the song Nothing else matters by Metallica. (Thanks to my dad I know this song. It's a beautiful song.) And S/O sings in rock version. Yeeaaaah!!!! She plays the electric guitar, after couple minutes she sings and she also does the guitar solo. Now what will the Aoba Joshai 3rd years think.👀🤭 hehehe. After she's done. She's sitting and her heart races and she feels actually really happy. She has only sing for her friends and family but never for school. Now or later the four boys will come to her and give comment about her and her music. The rest you can decide how it goes.

Sorry if this was long request. 😅 And hope it's not difficult.

Summary- With a small push form her friends, (Y/n) decides to show off her skills to the school. While she is, she unknowingly catches the attention of Aoba Johsai’s 3rd year volleyball players.

Character(s)- Toru Oikawa, Hajime Iwaizumi, Issei Matsukawa, Takahiro Hanamaki

Word count- 2.1k

Song inspiration- nothing else matters - Metallica

Warnings- none :)

A/n- omg I’m so sorry for the wait, work decided to take over my week, and I was supposed to have it off, these are a little rush and I decided to give it kinda a open ending but I hope you enjoy 💕

(Y/n) cursed each one of her friends. Every one of them. (Y/n) hoped to leave Aoba Johsai quietly, she was happy with how everything was. Everything was relatively quiet, she had a few close friends, good grades, and was happy staying out of the spotlight. Yet her friends just had to come up with a mess that up for her. They just had to open their mouths and say something. There was a small part of her that was kinda happy that they called her out, maybe this could be her time to shine. But that sometimes, there was no need to call her out. So many things can go wrong. What if her voice cracks, what if everyone makes fun of her, what if she just ends up embarrassing herself. It was those types of thoughts that really made (Y/n) not want to do this. They just haunted the back of her mind, but she was already too far into this to just quit. A little part of her was also curious to see what’s going to happen afterward, what’s going to be the reaction from the others, will they like it, how will this change her outcome of graduation.

As all those thoughts began to fill her mind, (Y/n)’s friend around her all began to finish up the preparations for the small little concert she was going to put on. Because it was (Y/n)‘s friend's idea, they were in charge of it. They planned the event, got the time and place, all the equipment, and made sure that everything was going to go smoothly. All (Y/n) had to do was make sure her voice was warmed up and that she brought her guitar, which she definitely made sure to do. Her guitar is one of those things where it provides her comfort, even if she doesn’t play it just holding it gives her some type of reassurance. With her friends almost finishing the preparations her heartbeat began to grow more and more. (Y/n) could hear it all throughout her body. It wasn’t even going to be a big performance, just a small one during lunch. It’s not like it was at an assembly, people could either stay and watch or just walk by. Whatever they do, it’s still going to be embarrassing. (Y/n) doesn’t talk much to other people, besides her friends, and now she’s going to be singing in front of the whole school? Oh, how the stress and anxiety were eating at her. She slowly began to pick at the strings on her guitar, playing a small part of the song softly. If she knew one thing, it’s that (y/n) had picked one of her favorite songs she knows like the back of her hand. So at least she won’t stumble or mess up the words. Softly humming the song too, (y/n) could slowly feel herself calm down, it wasn’t by much but it was enough to where she would be able to stand on top of the stage without shaking. At least there’s that.

“(Y/n), you ready?” (Y/n) flinched at the sound of her friend's voice. She was hoping that it would take them longer, but the longer they take the more (Y/n) anxiety would build. (Y/n) lifted her head from her guitar and stared at her friend. They could easily tell that (Y/n) had a lot going through her mind. Putting a reassuring hand on (Y/n)‘a shoulder, her friend spoke up once again,

“You ready? We’re all finished.”

“Uh…y-yeah I guess.” (Y/n) nodded as she stood up, clutching her guitar in her arms. Her friend let out a small scoff as (Y/n) followed behind with heavy footsteps. Her heart was pounding with both fear and excitement as she walked up and onto the stage.

Was the cafeteria always this bright? Were there always this many people? All this worrying was not good for her. Luckily, even though there are so many people, none of them seem to catch the eye of (Y/n) yet. They all seemed to be absorbed in their conversation. A few would glance in her direction but then look away just as fast. She was hesitant, very hesitant. As soon as she walks to center stage, mostly everyone's eyes were gonna be on her.

“Come on, don’t back down now.” Her friend chimed in, giving (Y/n) a small push. She stumbled forwards a bit before spinning away and softly glaring at her.

“Yeah, it’s your time to shine~ They’re all gonna love your voice. I know I do.”

“Coward.”

“Huh? Coward?” (Y/n) gasped at the word. If she was a coward she wouldn’t have agreed to do something like this in the first place, “I-I’m not a coward, I agreed to this whole thing!”

“Then go up there and prove it. Until you do imma keep calling you a coward.”

“Alright, alright I’m going.” (T/n) puffed her cheeks as she spun on her heel and stood center stage, as she fixed her guitar strap and her mic, she quietly muttered to herself, “Jeez talk about peer pressure….”

Even though they were pushy about they meant well. If it wasn’t for them and giving (Y/n) the push she needed she would’ve chickened out a while ago. Now standing center stage, more people began to look over in her direction. Their glances wouldn’t stay long before they looked back. Still extremely nervous, (Y/n) fixed her mic once again, before she steadied her fingers on the first cords. Taking one a deep breath to clear her mind, (Y/n) you closed her eyes and strummed the first chords. Although her eyes were close she could feel everyone’s attention shift to her because of how quiet it was.

For now, she was just doing the small guitar solo. It the easiest part of the song, and an easy way to calm her nerves. With her eyes being closed, she was able to avoid the states of others and with the small solo she was able to build up her confidence, now it’s all she has to do is sing. Taking a sharp inhale, she began,

“So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart”

~~

“Hey, Iwa-chan you hear that?” Oikawa had stopped on his tracks as soon as he heard the sound of a guitar-playing softly. Turning around he noticed that they had just passed the entrance to the cafeteria, Oikawa took a wild guess and said that where their music was coming from. Iwaizumi noticed that Oikawa wasn’t following behind him anymore so he turned around and saw that Oikawa's attention was on the cafeteria.

“Huh?”

“It sounds like some type of performance.” Oikawa pointed out again, as he began to walk towards the door.

“Oh, yeah, wasn't that one girl singing something today?” Iwaizumi quickly followed after him.

“Was she?” Oikawa questioned, as the 2 of them made it to the door. They were both taken off guard once they saw (Y/n) standing up there. They knew (Y/n) but they didn’t know her close at all. The 3 shared a few classes and passed each other in the hallways, but that’s pretty much it. (Y/n) was also quiet, she didn’t talk much. The most the boys have ever talked to her was when they had a project or when they were asking what the lesson plan was. Besides that (Y/n) was mostly shy yet seeing her up on the stage was shocking. All alone too, that took a lot of courage. And the way she looked so natural too, there wasn’t any hesitation in her movement and she was so confident. It was a side of her they never thought they’d see.

“Her eyes are close though.” Oikawa muttered to himself, as she began to sing.

“So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart”

“Shocking, right?” Hanamaki commented as him and Matsukawa walked up to the 2.

“Her friends apparently pushed her into doing it,” Matsukawa added on, as all 4 of the boys watched as (Y/n) confidently sang the song. She was way different than the girl they passed in the hallway. It was so interesting to see her like this, Oikawa found it hard to even look away. So while the 3 others continued to talk, Oikawa’s eyes stayed glued onto her.

“She’s so pretty.” Oikawa quietly muttered out loud as he continued to watch her sing. The boys were quick to bring their attention back to him.

“Oi, get in line. You're not the only ones who think that.” Hanamaki pointed out elbowing Oikawa right in the side.

“Huh?”

“We’ve both liked her for a while now. We’ve been trying to talk to her for a while but we can never find the right time. So we were going to go after her performance, maybe she’ll be a little more chatty.” Hanamaki explained as Matsukawa nodded behind him.

“Both of you?” Iwaizumi questioned as his eyes trailed back to (Y/n). There was something that pulled Iwaizumi towards her too. He wasn’t sure but she just seemed so beautiful and welcoming, he found himself wanting to get to know her. It was safe to say that Oikawa was feeling the same thing too, as soon as he laid eyes on her. All 4 of the boys found themselves wanting to get to know her and spend time with her. Without saying a word, there was already one thing going through each of their heads: ‘Imma be the first to befriend her!’

“So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

No, nothing else matters”

As (Y/n) had finished the song, a round of applause had risen for the crowd of students. Finally opening her eyes, (Y/n) took a look around and was in shock. So many people had gathered around the stage and were all applauding her. She was really not expecting this to happen. Maybe a few people, but not this many. All the nervousness that once filled her body had completely disappeared and was replaced with excitement, so much excitement. (Y/n) couldn’t hide her large smile, she was so lucky to actually listen to her friends. With her smile hurting her cheeks she looked over to her friends and giggled, this was amazing. Her friends all laughed along with her as they run up and hug her.

“You did amazing!”

“I know I did. That felt amazing.” (Y/n) laughed as she continued to hug them. It really felt amazing.

With the applause dying down, one of her friends had grabbed the mic and thanked everyone for coming to listen. While she did that, (Y/n) and the others went backstage to celebrate some more.

“That really was amazing. I knew everyone would love your voice.”

“I guess you aren’t a coward anymore.”

“I was never a coward and I proved it.” (Y/n) laughed out loud as she began to take off her guitar. Her body was shaking from excitement, it was hard to stand still. As soon as she put down her guitar she was practically jumping up and down, “Oh my gosh, I’m shaking so much. That was so fun. Maybe I should just drop out and become a singer.”

“You definitely have the looks for it. You already found yourself a fan too.” Oikawa commented as the 4 boys walked up to the group of girls. They all turned around and eyed the boys, seeing who appeared. (Y/n)‘s friends we’re definitely caught off guard, the 4 star players of Aoba Joshi’s volleyball team have just shown up and complimented her. (Y/n) was far too excited to even think too much about it.

“You really think so. I’d have to write my own music, they’d be a little hard but I think I could do it. It would be best doing all that unnecessary homework.” (Y/n) blabbered on as she smiled up to the boys. They were very taken with how much she talked, they’ve never heard her talk this much and definitely not this loud before, she’s always had such a quiet and soft voice. But now with the newfound confidence, (Y/n) seems like she’s going to open up a lot more. Now all the boys definitely would love to get to know her.

[hoekaashi]

3 am Talks - hq pt 3

a/n: almost done, two more left!! i’m not sure why, but these ones were really fun for me to do and i had to cut myself off before i wrote whole fics for each one. also thank you to my wifey for helping me with akaashi, idk why his was so hard for me to do ): pairings: bokuto x reader, akaashi x reader, ushijima x reader, tendou x reader, semi x reader warnings: some spoilers for post timeskip, minor cussing, a bit suggestive (ushi) taglist: @babydabi​, @suckersuki​, @bakugoustanaccount​, @animoozies​ part 2 | part 4

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

⇾ definitely someone who talks about the first things that just pop into his mind ⇾ would literally change topics in the middle of his sentence ⇾ “did you see my last spread, I was centerfold Tsum-Tsum was not happy but when I offered to trade places with him, it made him even more mad - I just got an email saying my new knee pads have been shipped YES - babe are you hungry? Let’s go to the convenience store and get some snacks” ⇾ all over the place ⇾ but the second sleep starts to hit him, he become even softer than he already is ⇾ this baby would def be asking for validation without outright asking for it - we all know he lives to be praised but as he gets older, he stops asking for it directly ⇾ i feel like he just becomes more self-conscious after he realizes that being on a national team means that now the entire WORLD is scrutinizing him ⇾ i could keep going on about him imma stop

“I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.” Even hours later, Bokuto was trying to hold in laughter from the memory of the event. “I think that’s why he’s mad at you Kou.” Bokuto pouted. “I offered to help him up.” “Yeah, but you were also red from laughing so hard and wiping the tears from your eyes. I don’t think he appreciated that.” Bokuto got quiet and you knew what that meant. “But at the end of the day, the pictures came out amazing. You look amazing.” His smile, although soft compared to his usual grin, came back. “You think so?” You hummed. “If volleyball doesn’t work out, you could be a model. I already know one of my friends has a shrine dedicated to you. Which honestly feels weird, but hey, if it’s harmless why should I care?” you said, going off on a tangent. Bokuto brushed off the compliment that normally would’ve stroked his ego. “Nah, I don’t think I could handle the pressure.” You cocked an eyebrow. “People constantly judging you and criticizing you. You know me, I thrive with praise and…” “Become emo with criticism?” He let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah. I’m trying to change.” You reached over and caressed his cheek. “There’s a difference between growing up and mellowing out and changing who you are. You’ve done the growing up part and you’re slowly mellowing out as much as you can. But please don’t change.” “But people keep saying -” “Forget what they say. I love you the way you are now.” Bokuto’s full grin returned to his face. “I love you more.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ more of a listener he learned his ways from babysitting bo ⇾ he would just enjoy listening to whatever you had on your mind ⇾ one to add his own commentary and thoughts to whatever you were saying ⇾ if he were to talk though, he would reminisce  ⇾ talks of bokuto and his old team, things he misses ⇾ but speaking of bokuto, he would go off on how proud he is seeing his former ace doing so well for himself now - even if he still isn’t a normal player ⇾ depending on how open he’s feeling, he might even wander into his insecurities and childhood, things he doesn’t really open up about unless he feels really close to you

“And then I booked it out of there,” you finished your story. Akaashi hummed. “What about the other girl who was still working?” “Look, she never sticks around to help me when I have extra work, I wasn’t going to stick around to help her.” He cracked a smile at your pettiness. “Wait, didn’t you have lunch with Bokuto today?” “Yes. It was nice.” You waited a moment thinking that Akaashi would add more. “That’s it? It was nice?” “Well, you know how he is. But it was nice to see him trying to change himself. Well, improve himself.” You rolled over from your back onto his chest and reached up to play with his hair. “We talked a lot about playing during high school and what the others are doing these days. Everyone is so busy now, it’s hard to keep up. I’m proud of them.” You didn’t let the smile on Akaashi’s face go unnoticed, commenting on how it always seemed to be there whenever he talked about his former ace. “Leave me alone, I’m happy with how far he’s come on his own. I can’t but smile when I think about the people I love.” “Do you smile when you think about me?” “Of course I do, you idiot,” he replied before kissing your forehead.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ i very strongly believe he would talk about parallel universes ⇾ he would go into the existence of them but also like ‘what if there was a way for people in a parallel universe who could watch me as if my life was a movie’ ⇾ if he was in a more serious mood, like if he had a big match coming up or sum, he would talk more about his goals ⇾ the things he hopes to accomplish in the future, the outcomes he wants in life ⇾ if he was tired, it would be more like akaashi - more listening, less talking ⇾ i feel like he would always want to know what’s happening in your mind so he would ask you the most random questions or just want to listen to you talk as he drifts off to sleep

“Do you think they saw me when I tripped over Leo and dropped the dishes?” You remembered when he tripped over the cat the two of you were raising and ended up breaking a few plates. As annoyed as you were that the plates you like broke, it gave you a reason to go domestic shopping with your boyfriend. You sighed. “No Toshi. If they were watching you, it would be when you’re playing volleyball or taking a shower.” “But you’re in the shower with me sometimes. You think they saw what we were doing?” “If they did,” you started with your eyebrows raised, “I hope they enjoy it as much I do.” He chuckled. “Why when I’m playing volleyball?” “Because that’s your job now. What else would they watch you do? Play with Leo?” He didn’t reply as he looked down to the cat in his lap. Petting it, the two of you sat in silence for a while. You finally thought he dropped the topic as you started to drift to sleep. “I wonder if the people watching like me. Or what if they think I’m the villain?” You sat up in bed. “Why would you think you would be a villain in a show about volleyball?” “I don’t know. I could be a side character that no one likes.” His voice got quieter the more he talked. “Aw, Toshi. I’m sure you have many, many fans in this parallel universe who all wish to be dating you. You never intentionally hurt anyone. You tried, in your own way, to work with Oikawa, but it’s not like you sabotaged him or anything.” He nodded. “He should’ve come to Shiratorizawa. We could’ve been that impressive first year duo instead of Hinata and Kageyama.” You rubbed his shoulder. “I know, baby. You remind me of that at least once a month.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ he would get deep ⇾ talks about his childhood where he was bullied to where he is now ⇾ while he has his insecurities, he would still be very proud of himself and how far he’s come and everything he accomplished ⇾ on the topic of being proud, he would never pass up the opportunity to talk up his bff ushi and he would hype him up even though it’s just the two of you ⇾ he wouldn’t forget about the other third years aka his other ‘best friends’ (i use quotes bc he only has eyes for ushi lezbehonest) ⇾ the talk would shift over to you and how lucky he feels to have found you ⇾ half of the things he would say would just to get you all embarrassed and shy so he could tease you about it

You woke up an hour ago because when you went to snuggle with your boyfriend, his body was missing from bed. For the last hour, he talked to you about how much he’s grown over the years, not once stopping to let you say anything. You finally had enough of this monologue. “Satori, how much more can you possibly say? It’s been a whole ass hour. Get your ass to bed so I can snuggle with you and lemme sleep.” Sighing, he walked away from the window where he was using the light from the moon to set the mood of his speech. Getting into bed, he waited until you were satisfied and closed your eyes. “But also, Wakatoshi has gotten so far on his own. I couldn’t be more proud of my best friend.” “Satori, please. For the love of God.” “Babe, you gotta let me air this out. Good communication and all that.” “We don’t have a single problem that needs to be ‘aired out’ right now. I got work in the morning and you like the sound of your own voice.” That still didn’t stop him. “And Semi, I gotta hand it to him, the man finally learned how to dress properly. And his music isn’t that bad either so I gotta find something new to annoy him with now. Reon is still keeping his fighting spirit alive and playing volleyball too. My friends, all doing so well.” Tendou glanced down at you who had fallen asleep to his heart beats. “But you. I’m the most proud of you. I’m so lucky to have found you. Not that I needed someone in my life at the time, but all the happiness you’ve given me on top of the great things in my life. You’re an amazing person, and I appreciate the impact you’ve made in my life.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ before we start with semisemi, he plays bass and sings in his band but he also plays the piano and guitar (these are MY OWN hcs, none of this is canon) ⇾ that being said, he would stay up late at night playing his guitar, working on songs and quietly singing lyrics to himself ⇾ his talks would be about purpose - like why he’s on this earth similar to hinata ⇾ aha ha ha so if yall read kuroo’s, you know how i feel about scorpios ⇾ semi babe is not safe from that either ⇾ while he is bad at opening up, he also has a short temper so expect apologies for his random outbursts from him ⇾ imma touch on this more in my semi relationship hcs so i shall stop here

You had been on your computer, finishing up some work of yours that you had been procrastinating on with Semi sitting on the couch, strumming his guitar as he worked on a new song. You hadn’t been paying attention the entire time, not until you closed your laptop and sat back in your chair. “Eita, what’s that song?” Your sudden question caused him to jump a little. “Oh, uh, I didn’t realize you were listening.” “I just heard you singing. What is that?” He rubbed the nape of his neck. “I was hoping to hold out until it was finished.” You walked over to him, draping your arms around his shoulders and leaning your weight on him. You read the lyrics he had so far, your eyes growing bigger with each line. “What… is this?” “An apology.” You pulled away from him. “I know I’m not the easiest boyfriend and that when I have a problem, I should say something rather than exploding on you over the littlest thing. I didn’t really know how else to express this without messing it all up.” “I’ve known you for a long time, I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t figure that much out.” “But still, it doesn’t mean that I should just stay this way. I should be growing with you as a person, not stuck how I am. I really do need to learn to express myself better.” You let out a small chuckle. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.” You had. Four times already. “And this will be the last. Thank you for putting up with me.” Your arms wrapped around him once again. “Next time, I expect an entire album with love songs dedicated to me. Got it?” “Well fuck, I better not mess up. I don’t have enough material for an entire love album.” You shoved him. “Hey! Maybe I will leave your sorry ass.” “I’m just kidding! Babe! Where are you going?!”

[pixelatedrose]

read this and respond (if you’d like) when you aren’t in the car anymore, i don’t want you to get sick :0 !

you don’t apologize for not be able to write a lot! you didn’t have to answer my ask in the first place but it means a lot to me that you did :) also! i wanna say two things! one, i think i’ve said this before but i really like how you explain things. i’ve tried to learn how to play d&d and i think i’ve got a solid understanding of it, but it’s still hard when people say things like “10 AC”. but i don’t have to worry about that when you explain things cause you sorta dumb it down in a way that doesn’t make me feel dumb.. if that makes sense. two, i love how you showed callahan being healed in your drawing cause it just adds so much more weight to the picture. and i can’t even imagine how that fight was, dancing with death the whole time, that must’ve been so stressful. anyway! that’s about all, but you still have a lot of explaining to do (if you want and when you’re ready) mister >:0 i hope you had a lovely day and you enjoy the rest of your night, love you ro :)) !

1st: dw bout me answerin asks in the car lol I have no fuckin self control sksjshs

2nd: thank you sm m8!!! I know you've mentioned in the past that you don't play d&d or know a ton about it so I try and give little explanations where I can and it's great to hear that I do it in a non-patronizing way

3rd: heheheee okay so imma go into some more detail on the Callahan & Shade training session-

Okay, so.

To understand how we got to this point in time, we have to understand where he was

The party entered the Shadowfell- a mirror plane of existence where everything is contorted and dark and just about everything wants to kill you. This is where we were trying to get to when Callahan first joined the party.

Now Callahan didn't have a full grasp on what the Shadowfell was, really, when he went through the portal. The only one who did was Sylas, and by all the gods did he try to warn us.

Callahan was still so very very unprepared...

The very first fight in the Fell- one of the first battles Callahan has EVER been in in his life- he gets one-shotted by this monster and drops below zero hp.

When you drop below zero hp in d&d, you're Ina state of in between life and death, right on the cusp of either one and a breath's wrong move could send you toppling over the edge. You stay in this state of dying until one of three things happen. 1) you get healed. 2) you succeed three death saves and you stabilize. Or 3) you fail three death saves and you die.

Callahan had succeeded two saves, but he had also failed two. One last roll would have determined his entire fate, and I'm not known for having the best of luck when it comes to dice.

Sylas, our lovely amazing wonderful cleric boy, barely made it in time and slapped Callahan with a healing spell right after the monster died and he regained consciousness.

This...messed him up.

Callahan was absolutely shaken to his core at this very close encounter with death and he did not handle it well.

He got furiously angry, ignoring the fact that it was him that brought him to the Fell, and instead shifting the rage to the rest of the party and blaming them for his being there and, by proxy, his almost dying.

He...said some things...that shouldn't have been said. At least not like that...

And the worst part? It didn't get better. He was fitful and angry and upset at everyone for weeks.

Finally, Haru was done with Callahan's baby-bitchfit and when Callahan snapped at Monty (again), Haru got up and dragged Callahan out into the forest a little ways away from the rest of the party.

And what did he do?

Well he punched him.

Well, more than that. He told Callahan to fight back too. Soon fist-fighting turned into hitting each other with sticks, which turned into Haru having to tackle Callahan to the ground, leaving Cal the perfect opportunity to steal the dagger off his belt and ramming the pommel into his ribs.

Cal would like to say he won that fight. Haru would have something else to say.

After laying there on the ground for a moment, Callahan started to laugh. A sound that Haru had not heard in weeks, and one he didn't know he missed.

Haru explained that he wanted to teach Cal to fight so that what happened with that first monster? Where Cal nearly died?? So that that would never have to happen again.

Something about it- maybe it was something about Haru- calmed Callahan down.

And then it really hit him.

Oh fuck.

I've been a jackass for weeks to literally everyone.

It also started to hit him just how weak he really was in a fight if it ever came down to melee.

So they came back to the party together, Callahan happier than ever with little scrapes and lookin very roughed up (I won't say but the rest of the party did not in fact think they were sparring-)

Callahan apologized to Monty the next morning. The things he said specifically to him were...well...let's just say it hit harder for Monty than the others.

Monty wasn't as quick to forgive and forget. Callahan doesn't blame him.

However, that night Callahan and this new party member- Shade- were on a watch together. Now Shade is a much higher level than everyone else in the party, and is far far more powerful. He's a Hexblade Warlock, but he's also a fallen paladin (or cleric I can't remember) as WELL as a fallen Aasimar (kinda like a fallen angel but watered down). But...also probably a Shadow sorcerer?? Listen Shade is an amalgam of magic and power and idk where all of it comes from-

In any case, Shade is big powerful lad.

Now Cal and Shade are on a watch together, and Shade begins talking about Callahan's magic. He picks up a small opal stone from gauntlets he wears and focuses his magic into it. The opal glows with a black light and swirls with shadows of purple and black. He then hands the opal to Callahan and instructs him to focus his magic like he did.

When he does, the opal changes again, but this time, it swirls with bright, ever-changing array of fantastical colors. A rainbow of things that have never quite been seen before. It's extraordinary.

Shade explains that his own magic is that of the Shadowfell, it's dark and thus his magic is sewn from the shade. And then he explains that he's met other mages- ones with powers of the storm, magic of dragons- but he has never seen someone with magic like Callahan's.

Why?

Well, cause Callahan has pure, unfettered, untained, raw magic inside him.

It's an inferno of unbridled magic and it is completely and utterly entirely untamed. It cannot be controlled and it is as wild as the wind and earth itself. And sometimes, that uncontrollablity lashes out and surges forth, and sometimes things that Callahan doesn't exactly want to happen, happen.

And Callahan listens. And his heart sinks. Uncontrollable? Pure?? Absolute chaotic force of magic??? He can't stand the thought of not having a handle on his magic, because if he can't control it, how the hell is he supposed to use it to protect people??

He expresses this to Shade and the "older" man tells him that he can and should use this to his advantage.

At that moment, Callahan's magic goes wild and he surges. The wooden log they are sitting on, under Callahan's hand it starts to faintly smoke. Callahan doesn't notice, but Shade does. He cuts a small piece of rope and asks Cal to hold it for him. The rope errupts into flames and Callahan drops it in vibrant shock and distress.

Shade calms him down and explains that he can use that. He gets Callahan thinking. Asks how he can use this to help in in battle- he can set things aflame with a touch, for God's sake, what can he do to use that?

And Shade looks at Callahan's small scratches and bruises and scuffs on his clothes and turns and says "I know that look...you've been sparring, haven't you?"

Callahan nods his head. He says that Haru said he'd teach him how to fight, that he wants to- needs to- be stronger.

Shade asks if Callahan would like Shade to help him as well, help him learn how to use his magic to fight.

Callahan says yes.

They start small, Shade borrows Haru's sword in his sleep and gives it to Cal to use. Shade goes through the motions of explaining how he uses his magic to help him wear armor and wield weapons- how he manipulates the pull of power inside him into his blade, into his armor, how he makes them seem lighter and easier to use and wear.

And Callahan follows suit. He goes through the motions of swordplay, focusing and directing his magic into it. And slowly, it seems the blade gets lighter and light in his palm.

After a little while of this, Shade says that he would like to try something to really help Cal in the middle of a real battle. And he summons a demon.

Now, as Shade summons this demon, he explains that he has control over it. That the demon cannot do anything that Shade does not want it to do. The demon is not pleased with this.

In fact, with shadowy chains around its neck and wrists and ankles, it seethes and hisses and spits that it will tear and murder and shred Callahan and Shade to scraps. Shade reassures Callahan that he won't let it kill him. But he asks one last time if Callahan wants to do this.

And with a glance at this horrible creature with blood and murder in its eyes, Callahan's grasp tightens around his borrowed blade and he nods yes.

And so the fight begins.

Callahan uses his magic and filters it into the blade in his hands and tries to strike the beast. He hits it a few times, but the monster keeps hitting Callahan back, and he drops down to 1 hp.

As the demon cackles and pulls back for one final attack, Shade pulls down on the shadowy chains and restrains it. It howls in fury at this.

Shade asks Callahan if he wants to stop, that if he really wants, Shade knows a way to help Callahan keep going.

Callahan, bloody, sliced up, fighting for consciousness and blinking red drops from his eyes, hands on his sword in a white-knuckled grip, the blade digging into the ground as the only thing keeping him upright, looks Shade deep and deadly in the eyes, his goggles hung slightly cracked around his neck. His eyes have a burning flicker to them and with no hesitation to his words, he speaks. "I need to be better."

Shade takes a moment and the faintest ghost of a smile flitters onto his face and he says "That was the right answer." And he begins to heal Callahan with Greater Restoration.

Now, I could be wrong either with what the spell does or what spell he actually cast, but what happened with this spell was this: he could restore an incredible amount of hp to Callahan, but he would TAKE half the hp he restored as damage to himself. So if he healed Cal for 10 points, Shade would take 5.

This first time he ended up healing Callahan all the way back up to full.

And back to the fight they went.

This happened four more times, where Cal dropped below 10 hp and Shade had to stop to heal him for a moment.

Finally, Shade asked Callahan one last thing.

"I can do one more thing to help you learn the movement of battle, but it would mean releasing him. You don't have to do it, but-"

"You're wrong. I do have to- what would that make me if I backed down at the first sight of risk?"

"...you've made a good choice."

With that, Shade released the Demon, who was battered and torn and nearly as destroyed as Callahan himself, if not far far more. And he let out a ravenous cackle, full of craze and bloodlust and victory. And he looked Callahan directly in the eyes and told him "This is where you die!!!"

Four more rounds.

Callahan had messed up his magic once before in the fight and his magic had surged, giving him the ability to teleport short distances for the next minute.

And his magic messed up once again, poisoning a random creature near him. Luckily, it wasn't Shade, but the Demon was immune to poison anyway.

But as Callahan took hits, he dropped below 10 hp again, but there was no more looking to Shade for help anymore.

He took one last swing, a move of the blade that felt more dance-like than any sort of movement to kill, and he cut the demon clean a sunder- a trail of the blade that ran from one shoulder across to the bottom of its boney hip- and the demon let out a croaking, creaking, collapsing gasp of air that could have been mistaken for a strangled last cackle of defiance.

And then it fell over, a position of defeat that Callahan may have been had he not made the surer move.

And Callahan stood above it all.

Alive.

Alive and by his hands alone was his enemy gone.

Alive and by a blade he used with magic in his veins was he that way.

Alive and the victor over a demon.

Shade healed Callahan one last time, nearly collapsing himself from the loss of life energy. He managed to gain some of it back by summoning small imps that he then proceeded to suck the life out of, but it still took a bit of a toll on both of them.

They went back to the party where everyone lay sleeping, none knowing the exchange that had happened that night.

The spoke for a while longer, Shade telling Callahan of his past while casting the mending spell on his destroyed and torn clothes.

Their shift ended and they woke up the next pair for watch and went to bed.

And now did Callahan forget to tell anyone else about what had happened?

Yes absolutely.

Did Haru end up finding out because 1) Callahan had a fresh magical scar on his cheek and 2) Callahan forgot to give Haru back his sword?

Yes absolutely.

Was Haru pissed off that Callahan basically almost died multiple times and go into full protective boyfriend mode after he found out?

Yes absolutely.

Anyway long story time but I hope you liked it ;D

[fdd700]

Words: a lot idk (2,930) Characters: Logan, Roman, Patton, Virgil, Janus, Remus Pairings: Patton and Virgil are brothers (pat is older), the creative twins are, you guessed it, twins with Logan as their older brother, platonic and romantic dukexiety and roceit Trigger warnings: curses (minor), pain, pineapple on pizza (yes, disgusting, ik)

Virgil felt it the second his brain was connected, the dull ache in his right hip. He barely managed to let out a groan, trying to shift off his bad hip and onto his back. He let out a sharp breath as he hit his back. It was one of those days.

He hated those days.

The days when he was all but reduced to his bed before the sharp pain in his hip refused to be quelled. He knows he should get up, to try and stretch it out, but the very thought makes him nauseous.

“Kiddo?” He groans. “You okay?” Patton opens the door slowly, peeking in at the boy. “Bad day?” Virgil nodded and he’d never been so glad to have a brother like Patton. Patton, of course, was aware of these bad days. When Virgil was 10, he got diagnosed with a rare bone condition that affected his bones and left him in so much pain, to the degree that he was basically immobile for a year. He got over the condition fine with a lot of medicine but with lack of mobility for a crucial year in his growth, his muscle weakened and got inflamed a lot, meaning he was constantly on new exercise regimes to re-stretch and re-work the muscles into submission. His right hip muscles, the ones joining his two bones, was currently inflamed and was sticking his bones (Though this confused Patton, wasn’t that what connective muscles were supposed to do?)

“I really just want to sleep all day,” Virgil said.

“We both know I don’t want to give you The Speech,” Patton said, causing Virgil to groan loudly.

“Please, not the speech.” Patton chuckled. 

“How about a compromise?”

“No,” Virgil whined. “Your compromises suck! it's like ‘do these tiresome, painfully stretches for like an hour and then I’ll give you an extra five minutes for a nap’. I would rather The Speech.”

“In that case-”

“No! I was joking, not The Speech,” Virgil said. ‘The Speech’ was an inside joke among the two. When their parents passed away, Virgil was barely 17, so 20-year-old Patton had to help Virgil navigate all his pain alone, with only Logan, Patton’s boyfriend, as a supporter. On one of Virgil’s bad days, he had tried to rouse Virgil to get through his exercise by saying anything and everything off the top of his head. When he was about ten minutes in, Virgil had snapped, saying; “Fine! I’ll do the exercise, just please, Pat, for the love of God, shut up!”. Since then, ‘The Speech’ had been the threat to get Virgil out of bed. Virgil sighed, bringing Patton back to the moments.

“Okay then, smarty-pants, how about I help you through your exercises and then we can chill for the day, I’ll even call off work.” Virgil looked like he battling himself. One side of him wanted to be selfish and spend the day with his brother, but he also knew that his brother didn’t get a lot of days off. Patton seemed to sense this. “Or, I can sit in my office all day and spam you with texts, getting no work done.” Virgil smiled before extending his hands. Patton helped him sit up, carefully and slowly, making sure not to bother the hip too much. He helped Virgil lie down on the floor (the bed was too soft and would mould to his back, meaning he wouldn’t be able to accurately do a lot of the exercises). He placed a pillow under his head, stuck on a playlist, and started the exercises.

“I hate this, I want to stop.” Patton continued to hold Virgil’s leg in place (his right ankle was placed on his left knee, and his legs were drawn up, forcing his right hip to rotate.)

“10 more seconds,” Patton said. “5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ″ Slowly, his leg was lowered back down. Virgil let out a large breath. “Only four more exercises to go.” Virgil shook his head, tears springing to his eyes.

“pat please, I can’t do five more.” Patton gently took his brother's face in his hands.

“You’ve done the hard ones, Virge, and you’ve done so well. C’mon, you only have to do three reps of thirty seconds for each one.” Virgil let out a shaky breath, a few tears escaping his eyes, which were quickly wiped away by Patton’s thumbs. “Come on, we can do this.” Virgil snorted slightly.

“This isn’t a ‘we’ situation, Pat, I don’t see you crying from pain,” he joked. Patton would be offended, he’s tempted to pretend to be, but he knows Virgil hates feeling vulnerable and uses humour to cope.

“Well, I don’t see you having to threaten your baby sibling to do his exercises,” Patton said, helping Virgil through the next exercise (place his right thigh over his left, and angling his knee at ninety degrees to stretch the muscle).

“’m not a baby,” Virgil said.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over your baby speak,” Patton said, letting go of Virgil’s leg to stretch it between exercises.

“I’m a man,” Virgil said, making his voice deep to hear his brother laugh. Patton shook his head, re-positioning his leg for him.

“Sure, you are. I’m sure big bad men have to have their crusts cut off their sandwiches.”

“No one wants to eat hard bread, Patton,” Virgil said.

“Is that so, Virgil?” Virgil nodded before he flopped his leg out of his brothers’ hands.

“Why are you positioning my leg for me, I’m not paralysed.”

“I don’t trust you to not give up early,” Patton said immediately. Virgil let out a scandalised gasp.

“Oi! You’re right, but hey!” Patton laughed, picking back up his brother's leg and finished the last exercise on his back. 

“Okay, turn over. You’re gonna have to hold these yourself,” Patton said.

“I thought you said you’d help me!” Virgil whined.

“I basically just did your exercises for you!”

“Basically and literally are not the same thing,” Virgil said. “You’re dating Logan, you should know this!” 

“Hush you, and finish up, I’m hungry.”

“And I’m not?” Patton gave Virgil ‘The Look’. Virgil sighed. “I’m sorry for taking my frustrations out on you, that isn’t fair.”

“Thank you. And I’m sorry if I’m making you feel rushed.” Virgil sighed.

“It's fine. And hey, only two more to do.” Patton nodded. The hardest, by far, was the first one. it was an awkward position, making it hard to take deep breaths, and it hurt the most. Patton coached him through his last two before Virgil sighed, flopping down onto the ground. “That sucked.”

“Pancakes?”

“Uh, yes. With blueberries?”

“And maple syrup.” Virgil hollered before slowly standing up. He walked (hobbled) down the stairs and into the kitchen. “So, coffee?” Virgil nodded using a chair to lift himself onto the counter, not trusting his arms or hip. Patton grabbed a glass and a pain pill before handing both to his brother. “30 minutes before your meal please.” Virgil rolled his eyes but took the pill and swallowed it down. Patton began on the batter, getting all the ingredients into the bowl before handing it to his brother. “I’m gonna call work on the landline.”

“What excuse you gonna use.”

“I’m deciding between ‘I’m sick’ or ‘fuck you and your contract hours, I got more important shit to do’. Which is more convincing?” Virgil laughed.

“That’s two dollars in the swear jar.”

“How many times have I forgiven you curses?”

“Me? Curse? I’m an angel.”

“No, you’re a pain in the behind.”

“Pattooooooon!” Patton shook his head and grabbed the landline. 

“Mix,” he instructed before dialling the number and leaving the room. Virgil stuck his tongue out at his brother but began mixing.

“Alexa, play Patton’s breakfast tunes at volume 4 please.”

“Playing ‘Patton’s breakfast tunes’ on Spotify now,” The machine replied. ‘Dog Days Are Over’ by Florence + the machine began to play through the kitchen speakers. Virgil had just about combined the ingredients by the time Patton came back. 

“Any troubles?”

“Nope, Jessie answered the phone, and he’s chill with anything. He said he'd called Katie and she could take my shift, I just had to take her shift next Tuesday but I definitely needed to be in tomorrow - something about a big meeting, ah well.” Patton said. “This looks nearly ready. Finish that off, imma just get the pan.” Patton walked away before noticing the clock. “Later than I thought,” He mumbled. Virgil looked at the clock. It was about half one.

“How long did I sleep for?”

“I went to wake you at like half twelve, so I guess the timing does make sense.” Virgil nodded, handing the mixed batter to his brother. The two silently made breakfast - well, Patton made breakfast, humming alone to his playlist, while Virgil watched before getting up and setting the table. He yawned again, the pain in his hip moving from a stabbing pain to a dull ache. He plopped down on his chair - the only chair with a cushion for times like these. Patton smiled, handing him his plate as the two tucked into their lunch. Virgil had tried to offer to clean up, but Patton insisted he stayed sitting.

“It hurts whether I stand, lay or sit,” Virgil said. “I might as well help.”

“It's okay, I can handle this.” Virgil sighed but moved to the sitting room, setting up Disney+ on the TV. “What are we watching?” Patton asked, returning to the sitting room.

“Princess and the Frog?” Patton giggled.

“You just wanna stare at Prince Naveen,” Patton teased, handing Virgil an ice pack.

“Well, duh,” Virgil said. “Also, the songs are awesome.”

“Can’t argue there.”

-x-

The credits rolled around 4 pm and Patton was napping on Virgil’s shoulder as Virgil had switched off the current move for Black Cauldron. Patton stirred awake slowly at around 5 pm.

“Oh shoot, what time is it?” Virgil looked up at the clock beside him.

“About 5 past 5.” Patton nodded before sitting up and stretching. “What has you so tired?”

“Stayed up watching Parks and Rec,” Patton said.

“Haven’t you memorised that show by now?”

“Just about-” The doorbell rang, causing Patton to pause. Confusion took over his face before he cursed.

“Damn it, I forgot I asked Logan to come over yesterday for dinner,” Patton said and this was followed by more intense doorbell ringing. Virgil groaned.

“And I was supposed to go to the movies with the twins and Janus!” They both looked at each other, debating whether to open the door before a key turned in the lock. “Logan has a key?!”

“No!” Patton said. “I just, uh, told him where the spare key was.” Virgil shook his head but soon the house filled with Janus, Remus and Roman, screaming and Virgil for not responding to their texts and Logan asking Patton if he was ready to go to dinner. The group entered the room, noticing the two boys' guilty faces.

“Uh, Lo, about tonight-”

“No Pat, you go, I can, uh, just watch a movie and order pizza,” Virgil said.

“Virge-”

“It’s fine pat, I’ll take another pill and-”

“Oh, is your hip acting up again?” Logan asked and Virgil’s face burned. He kinda maybe hadn’t told the others about his hip issues. In his defence, he hadn’t had a bad blow out in months and it usually only lasted for two to three months maybe twice a year. He was also good and hiding bad days but today was too bad to hide.

“Your... hip?” Roman asked, looking down to the melted ice pack. Patton looked at Virgil and quickly realised he hasn’t told them.

“Yeah, he’s got a bad bruise there!” Patton said, trying to cover for him.

“Oh, okay,” Roman said. Logan shook his head.

“No, this is the muscle issues caused by his childhood condition. Why are you lying Patton?” Logan asked. Virgil wanted to bury himself further into his hoodie but he couldn’t because that would involve moving his hips.

“Logan,” Patton said softly, taking the boys arm. “let’s go to the kitchen?”

“Oh no, I said something-”

“No, sweetheart, it's okay.” Patton took the melted ice pack, gave Virgil a look that said ‘call me if you get scared’, and gently guided Logan into the kitchen. There was silence in the room.

“So,” Janus said.

“What did Logan mean?”

“Funny story actually, so uh, I had this like... bone thing when I was and it meant I was in a lot of pain so I didn’t really walk, like, at all for a year. It went away which is good, but it means that because of that, my muscles are weak and just like, throw up a fuss a lot, so it’s sort of a bitch and there’s nothing I can do a lot of the time. On bad days, I just have to stay put and not move for as long as possible.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Janus asked and Virgil couldn’t meet his eyes, he just couldn’t.

“Uh well, with Patton, it just sometimes feels like it’s all we talk about and with you guys-” he gestures to where he thinks they’re standing "- It’s different. Because you didn’t know, you weren’t always asking me and while I love it when Pat does it, it makes me feel overwhelmed and like the only thing people see is this ‘poor kid’. I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s all I’ve got.”

“Well, if I’m honest, I’m not mad. I’m a little upset you didn’t trust us-”

“It’s not about trust. I trust you all with my life, but it’s... it’s different. I know you all wouldn’t see me differently but... I don’t know how to explain it, it’s like, I know, logically, it wouldn’t change anything, but there are days like these where I am not fun to be around and am in bad moods, and people take that personal. Or people think I’m lying because I could go nearly a year without my muscles getting inflamed. It’s not a constant pain, it’s more of a recurring problem with my muscles that gives me pain.” There was silence,

“I know you’re very anxious right now, but I hope you know you’re a dumbass,” Remus said. “What?! He is sometimes.”

“What Remus is trying to say-”

“I know what I said Jan,” Remus pointed out.

“Shut up, you loch ness monster,” Roman said.

“Okay, Prince Charming from Shrek,” Remus said.

“Very specific insult must’ve taken you months due to a lack of brain cells,” Roman quipped back.

“At least I haven’t got your face!”

“We’re twins-”

“I have a moustache-”

“I will kill you-”

“I’d like to see you try-”

“GUYS!” Janus said, shouting over the pair. “Ignore those two dumbasses, we know this is a scary thing so we’re - well, I’m not mad. I get why you didn’t say anything.”

“It’s like, the less I talk about it, the less I’m worried about it,” Virgil explained.

“Okay, now that I get,” Remus said.

“You’re a dunce,” Roman said, shaking his head. “But yes, hot topic, we’re not mad. Also, the movie we were going to see what awful, why did you let Janus pick?”

“Because it was my turn.”

“Well, who wants to watch a movie about cults?”

“For the love of god Remus, a ‘cult classic’ doesn’t mean an actual cult,” Janus said, holding his head in frustration.

“Sounds fake, but okay,” Remus said, trying to get a rouse out of the other two, who were staring at him dumbfounded. he winked at Virgil causing the boy to laugh.

“You are a dunce,” Virgil said.

“Noooo, don’t say that you have to love me!” Remus said, throwing himself (somewhat carefully) onto the emo.

“Get off me,” Virgil said, laughing. Patton reappeared with cups and soft drinks at that moment.

“Okay, since Logi-bear-” the twins giggled at the nickname, but were met with Logan’s glare behind Patton’s back “-was your ride, we figured we’d order pizza and watch movies here.”

“Sounds good,” they all said.

“As long as Virgil and Remus share a pizza. Virgil will want peppers and Remus will want pineapple and I was that kind of neggies vibes AWAY from me,” Roman said dramatically. Both boys giggled.

“That’s okay with us, princy.”

-x-

It was an hour later by the time their four pizzas arrived - Logan and Patton’s vegetarian, Janus and Roman with a chicken, pepperoni and mushrooms and finally with Virgil and Remus’ Hawaiian pizza with chicken and peppers. It wasn’t until they were all curled up (Logan resting his head on Patton’s shoulder, their hands intertwined, Roman with his head on Janus’ lap as the boy played with his hair and Virgil on Remus’ lap) and safe that Virgil let the relief and love that surrounded the room.

Yeah, he hated those days, but he loved his friends. He loved Patton, and Logan, because they had always felt like his parents. He loved Janus, who always knew the right thing to say, and Roman, who always knew the right thing to get Virgil out of his head, and Remus, who knew how to make him laugh so hard he forgets to breathe.

“Why have you got that dumb face?” Remus asked.

“My face isn’t dumb,” Virgil whispered back. Remus rolled his eyes. Virgil only smiled, letting the sleepiness catch up as he fell asleep.

Today wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be.

Uh,, so this was my rant post and also a lil’ one shot i had. It’s based on personal experience, so if it’s confusing, sorry. I spend like a week on this lol, so enjoy!

[jojotichakorn]

Forth’s Had a Crush on Beam From the Start and There’s No Doubt in my Mind About It

so listen y’all , we were all thinking this , but then i rewatched it all again and ... yeah , he really fucking did

i mean , look - this is episode one . phana’s inviting forth to hang out and what’s forth’s first instinct ( after cracking a lil joke and telling pha he’ll be there , of course ) ?

what does this even mean , babe ? of course beam’s gonna be there - it’s phana’s party you’re talking about . and why is forth not asking about kit ? y’all know why , i can already fucking close the case here - it’s solved at this point , but imma keep going !

y’all need to rewatch the “ party at forth’s “ scene and pay less attention to mingkit ( to whom this scene no doubt belongs ) and just look at forthbeam at the very beginning 

it’s legit like 10 seconds of forth and beam just ignoring the rest of their friends and flirting ... idk what else to tell y’all - this is IT .

you know what forth ( as a certified soft baby ) loves most ? games and snacks . which is why it makes sense that when his friend comes over to chat , he doesn’t stop playing nor eating 

oh wait , what was that ?

IT’S BEAM ? we’re immediately putting everything down and giving our undivided attention to our man . i’m not adding more pics ‘cause tumblr hates me , but y’all can rewatch the entire scene again , because Man does his entire body language change the second Sad Angsty Beam turns up

so , have y’all ever been anywhere with your crush and just threw tiny quick glances at them , so you could Stare but also so no one else could Know ? yeah , so has forth 

and he was very concerned for beam the entire time too ! he was telling him to go slow and asking him what’s up . forth cares , but he’s never given that much attention to any of his friends , so clearly something else is going on here .

forth’s body language in That scene ? Oh Boy . i can’t add too many screenshots , but by Gods does he feel weird about it all . you can see him shifting and his eyes running around the room the entire time , because his Crush is sad and feels terrible and he doesn’t know how to help , but also because they’re alone in the same room and he’s also pretty tipsy himself and he just doesn’t know what to do with his hands anymore , because where is he supposed to put them so it would still be appropriate ?

he wants to be close to beam , but he’s also unsure how close he can be without revealing his feelings , so he’s sort of floating in this area of “????” with his arm just far enough and his entire posture leaning towards beam like he’s a fucking tree in the wind . and he stares at him ! a lot !

and the thing is , he stares and then he looks away and then he stares again . it’s his way of holding himself back from showing his feelings too much , because it feels inappropriate in the moment , and beam couldn’t possibly like him either way , could he ?

and then beam says he has a feeling for someone , a him no less , and there’s this little voice in forth’s head that just goes “ maybe ? “

but then beam says it’s kit and it just doesn’t make any sense

but it doesn’t shock forth for any of the “ usual “ reasons . he’s totally chill with it being a guy - that we know for sure . and it’s not phana’s sort of “ what ? “ because the boys are not nearly close enough for the friendship to get in the way or for forth to think he should’ve definitely noticed something if it were true . so what is it about then ? it’s a reaction . because a second ago he thought that maybe , just maybe it could be him . but it isn’t ...

and then there’s of course the eye closing moment that @bldramagalore pointed out 

cindy said no one does that with a friend and she’s absolutely right ! no one feels like this and acts like this while comforting a buddy they only care about in the most platonic of ways . there’s much more to it .

finally , even though it’s pretty clear that sex is important to forth and he doesn’t just do casual , he’s still a mature boy and if it was just a friend , who was awkward about the situation afterwards no less - he would’ve surely dropped it . but this is not just a friend . this is a dude who he’s had a crush on for a long while and who might actually like him back . that’s why he was so fucking sad when he realized beam left in the morning . that’s why he was ALMOST FUCKING CRYING when beam told him to forget about it . 

you absolutely cannot convince me otherwise :

Forth’s Had a Crush on Beam This Entire Time 

[jsuisartistofthestars]

The way I have so much gratitude for my Ancestors and Protectors 🥺 they've protected me multiple times from someone who turned out abusive and manipulative and now that person is gonna get hit with those pending transactions of karma

Here's the wild looking warning:

[TW: abuse, manipulation, abusive relationship mention, blood magick, curses, death mention]

Imma just drop this life story here. I've been proceeding it for so long and maybe having it on a post would help me really set that it's real. It's straight crazy stuff but still. I believe in fairytales.

I have an ex who's currently in prison who was also my karmic partner. I escaped abuse and (later found out through Divination) an early death after I broke up with him and blocked him. The last time I saw him (2018), we got in a major argument when he threatened to "expose" me on IG for fucking another guy (I'm single at this point and he's just very salty). But a month before he wanted me to have this baby cuz that would "make" him change. This man was the reason I ended up needing to be Baker Acted one night over a month before the argument; he was at a party and ignored his friend's messages and calls that I was at the hospital. But when I got discharged (my parents drove up to get me without my knowledge so they released me because no one expected them to come) he came over with some sorry ass face cuz my dad promised to kill him if he ever hurts me again.

During this argument though, I told him that I'd be in going to Canada for vacation, graduating, and living a better life while he'll be going to jail. He got arrested a week later. He called me and said he turned himself in after all that happened so he can take responsibility. I didn't believe him; I knew he was trying to manipulate me again. I called his PO on my way home for vacation and mans got arrested for speeding. I told his mom since he lied to her too (who's lovely overall and that news really set to her how deep of a fuck up he was) and went on my way.

2019, I had started a much better and healthier relationship. The ex got arrested again right after getting out. He did try to contact me a few times but I knew the games by now and my then-bf texted him to back off (a lot of men over there didn't step unless a guy came up 🙄). I had really started my spiritual journey for myself now, learning tarot and starting to pray to my ancestors. I moved out of town for good two days before he was released from jail and he had no idea where I was/am. I had always prayed to my ancestors that he wouldn't ever see me again and they made sure his ass was locked up while i was walking around.

I graduated in December of 2019 and when I went back to my school for the ceremony, I found out he got arrested. A month before. For helping to hide evidence in a murder. He had been transferred across the north side of the state and most of his friend groups fell apart so not even anyone of his "friends" could find me. But I was plagued with nightmares almost every day.

This ain't even the big parts yet.

Last year around this time I had broken up with my recent ex. This is where I got catapulted into my journey further. I found out fake friends of mine had put attacks on me and caused my relationship to end and almost killed me. I since cut them out, learned about protection and Cleansing, got closer to my ancestors, and began to tap into my abilities.

The nightmares shifted from the spiritual attack to that first ex again. Somehow, in prison he got one of my IG pages taken down. I had been off social media so that was a shock, as an old homie of his told me he did something to my pictures. I was taught a binding away spell to make him stop. I don't hex—really it's my last resort. My point wasn't to cause pain but to stop him from bothering me, jumping in my dreams, etc. A month later, I had a dream where he tried to take me away, practically hunting me down for two weeks (in the dream) until my dad shot him in the head (kept his promise) and I woke up literally feeling free. I broke the cycle with him. I went months with nothing but vibes. I began working on my clairaudience as well.

So one thing is that the spirits who walk with me tend to share bad news about people I know. I get good news too but, especially when someone does me wrong, they'll lay down the real stuff. Sometimes they're messages/warnings for others that can be changed if action is taken. My dad gets this too. He was the one who knew that vakabon was gonna end up in jail/prison soon from his own dream.

After Christmas in December, I was chilling and driving and I heard "______ is going to die." I'm like 😳 Mind you, I'm listening to some hype kompa music, running errands, singing, and this comes through clear. That first ex is gonna die. When I got home, my ancestors confirmed this through my cards. I left it alone even though to me it's great news. I still don't wish death on people but hey they said it.

THIS JANUARY (goddamn this shit is long)

In the middle of the first month of the new year, this prison ex shows up in my dream but he masquerades as a completely different person trying to trick me. A protector spirit literally shows up and calls him out, telling me to leave the room but I catch the dude's face. Idk how you can go cold in a dream but I did. His face, his hair, his stupid smile, and his off-putting laughing. Like he knew he almost got me. I checked in with other readers, and it was his Spirit. Apparently, he knows he's gonna die and wanted to trap me spiritually so I'd go down with him. He wanted me to die. Mans like a demon. When I woke up, I used cards and shells to Divine coupled with constant cleansing of my spaces and myself. I made multiple sigils for protection for myself and even my loved ones. He hasn't shown up since cuz he's always blocked out now, but looking for new ways. I keep up with it every day.

I talked to my seer friend and learned that that ex had tried to do some heavy blood magick on me (no wonder why my ancestors like my recent ex like he does nothing at all) and it backfired big time; no protection, nothing. All my spirits from ancestors to protectors to even lwa and orishas have been making their presences known. He went to someone to help get the work done and the guy knew it was going to backfire but let the ex do it on purpose (grade A). Now he's sick and is still going to be paying 😌 maybe even more 😌

What did get me some is why. What type of hatred you have for me to put so much risk to kill me when you haven't even seen me in years? You're so upset at your situation that you try to drag me down. A friend suggested that he could've always been into more baneful magick but played it off well. That could very well be true. Or he escalated cuz he blames me for things that happened to him. Whatever it is, it's on him. He's facing Justice and my people. Whoever he went to really let him fuck up knowing I was protected but let it come back on him. It's the audacity. But he'll never have me. When I escaped that relationship I meant it on all levels.

I'm safe, I'm guarded, I'm flourishing, and I'll outlive him.