#also if you don’t want to engage in this fandom stuff because it’s too much or you’re not in a healthy enough place for it i get that

[agenderfrenchfry]

I’m very glad that we, as a community, are taking a step back and evaluating how we interact with each other and the thoughts we put out into the world. I’d wanted to speak up about the inherent toxicity this fandom can exude at times myself, but to be honest? I was scared. I still am typing this out! But I trust myself and the people around me, and view this as an important discussion we need to have. My experience in the ibvs fandom has been shared in bits and pieces before, but never fully mapped out. That’s what I’m going to try to do now. (This might seem random at first, but trust me, it’s on topic.)

⚠️Tw for abusive relationships and grooming!⚠️

When I was 13 years old, I was released into the absolute Wild West that is the internet. By all accounts, I was a responsible kid in the eyes of my parents, so I was given little to no monitoring when it came to the content I consumed. Shortly thereafter, I was introduced to someone who would come to define - and end - the rest of my childhood.

Feli, or RainbowWreck on Tumblr, was a system with alters that ranged from far younger than me to far, far older. We met when I sent a response to one of their vent posts, and quickly bonded over a D&D au of IBVS. When tumblr messaging grew inconvenient, we moved to Discord, where we conversed nearly every day. At this point, I was ecstatic. Yes, one friend halfway around the world may have seemed minuscule in the grand scheme of things to others, but I was a severely lonely, chronically anxious autistic kid in middle school of all places. I had no other friends, I was at the stage of my life where connecting with family was getting harder, and overall Feli just seemed like a godsend. Looking back, I can see now that this really made me a perfect target.

I don’t know when things started growing sinister. Do you ever? Slowly, they started pushing. Ignoring my boundaries and testing me to see just how far out of my comfort zone I could be prodded. This often ended up in a horrible panic attack on my end, but I was terrified of the alternative. When angered, they would grow cold, despondent, and threatening. At the same time, they convinced me that my family was evil; that they were the only safe person in my life. They never lay a finger on me, but the amount of control they held over my younger self was terrifying. At the time, I would have done anything for them.

Over time, I became more used to volunteering information about myself, like my name, face, and where I lived. (Hey kids? DON’T DO THIS) I had an especially close relationship with one alter named Wolfie of about 17, who began to dub me his son. I was still only 13. Eventually, it reached the point where they started openly talking about kink and sexual content around me, and I accepted it. This was someone I thought I was safe around. Someone who called himself my father. I was still only 13.

I got out by sheer luck, and what they’ve done still haunts me to this day. Trust me, I’m only just beginning to unravel all the shit they pulled, and this is only a brief summary.

What I’m trying to say is, when people say that nsfw content of minors hurts “someone”, you don’t fully understand that “someone” is real until it happens to a person you’re close with - or, god forbid, you yourself. But trust me, it does. If I had been less desensitized to pornographic imagery at a young age, I probably would have recognized what was happening to me sooner. Maybe I’d be a completely different, healthier person. But that version of me doesn’t get to exist.

So if you happen to be scrolling on tumblr one day and stumble across content like a drawing of minors playing strip monopoly or a fic where the Jovel twins do hanky panky, please, say something. You could really make a difference in the life of a kid who was like me.

[thecheshirerat]

On TAZ-

Wow that sounds like I’m about to summarize some sort of discourse but I promise I’m not. I guess I’ll say that I really like this show and I will keep listening even if my worst fears come to pass, so keep that in mind!

For reference, I started listening near the end of Amnesty.

I’ve noticed, with the past few arcs- really since Ethersea- the narratives have just… not been fulfilling their promises, so to speak. They’ve been placing a lot of guns that don’t go off. What I mean by that is, the characters are great. Excellent, really. Lady Godwin? HELL YES. Emerich Dreadway? Fuck yeah! And so on! And the settings and premises have been epic- the goofiness and also horrifying nature of Engrave, the mad and thrilling world of Steeplechase- these things are COOL AS FUCK.

and then the actual narratives keep flopping?

And honestly, I notice it most in the endings, because you can really tell when an ending doesn’t land. You feel the sense of disappointment. But with vs. Dracula, for example, I could kinda see leading up to it that the ending couldn’t really BE anything special, because they lowkey didn’t set themselves up for it.

They spent the campaign fucking around in Engrave, finding clues and solving problems and not really experiencing any particularly meaningful character arcs or growth or, idk, forming relationships? So there wasn’t much to pay off, I’m not gonna lie!

Of course it doesn’t feel quite as dissatisfying when you’re in the thick of it, because they’re funny and the stuff is cool and- oh hey! Lady Godwin’s been turned into a werehorse against her will?? that’s got some real potential for a LOT of allegories and exploration of some fun character development! And then it’s kinda played as a joke. And then they do that again and again.

And they actually said that that was a move they made intentionally, in the TTAZZ. I’m not quoting them perfectly here, this is from memory, but I do remember them mentioning that they wanted lighthearted comedy without the burden of real life story stuff. And I get that, honestly, but… it’s not the choice I would’ve made. I do think you can keep a lighthearted tone while also, idk, forming relationships and wholesomely engaging with some amount of emotion. And sometimes going way too deep is funny as a tone shift!

But I digress. One thing that’s also popped out to me is the almost complete lack of any kind of romantic storyline or even references. This becomes obvious if you’re in a fandom because everyone is always dying to ship SOMEONE, and you can tell when people are really getting desperate. I don’t blame them for not wanting to roleplay romance with their family, and I do think stories lacking romance are COOL and SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED!

However if you can’t find ANYBODY to ship together… that may mean you just don’t have character bonds. The growing popularity of the PC polycule is interesting to me; I wonder if it’s partially because

a) none of the pcs have significant relationships outside of their party and

b) even within the party, there doesn’t seem to be much chemistry between any given pair of characters…? I hope I’m making my point well here- the PCs all seem equally close and have more or less the same relationship to all of their compatriots with little distinction, meaning, essentially, no shipping fodder that doesn’t involve just all of ‘em.

Either way, it makes me wonder if I can blame the “Graduation has too many NPCs!” critique. They really stopped giving the parties tag-along main NPCs after graduation, with the exception of maybe.. Urchin? Kodira? Shlabethany? Poppy? and even they get relatively little “screen” time. Steeplechase has great NPCs, I love them to death, but none of the PCs seem to ever have one on one conversations with NPCs or each other that do not explicitly focus on the plot. And I think that’s part of why the characters feel so underdeveloped despite having spent a lot of time with them- because in this character-driven genre, we get very little insight into their feelings or motivations or even their rudimentary backstories.

I started watching Fantasy High recently and it made me realize a couple things about TAZ.

1) Recently, TAZ has sooo few core NPCs, and it’s weird that the characters aren’t doing more one-on-one purely character based scenes. And that makes it really tough to develop them.

2) TAZ is- and I should have realized this before- one of many good dnd podcasts. They’re probably looking for a niche they can master.

And it sounds like they’re trying to get back to that old “Here there be Gerblins!” energy. They’ve referenced it so many times in recent TTAZZes- they wanted to be job-focused, allowing story stuff to happen organically, so they tried a more open world vibe with Ethersea. They wanted to be less afraid to kill stuff, so they tried playing criminals (and were still afraid to kill stuff). They wanted to be silly and light on character, as they tackled with taz vs dracula. Now they’re trying to bring in the silly cartoon vibe with Abnimals. I think they’re trying to make that family-friendly, funny and goofy show their niche. Something other actual plays can’t be better at them at.

And honestly it kinda makes me sad, that they keep trying to go back to Balance while ignoring everything they learned during it. Because I loved Dust. Because I loved Amnesty. Because I loved Ethersea. I loved these past arcs! But they keep doing their brilliant characters dirty for some reason!!! And i don’t know why!!!!

You know that meme about people who ask questions in movies and then the person responds “Have you ever been to a movie before? You watch them and the information is revealed.” There have been so many times in TAZ recently where information has Not been revealed and if they keep doing it the audience will stop bothering to suspend their disbelief, because the trust just isn’t there.

What is Montrose’s deal? What on earth was Carmine Denton’s whole thing? Tell me more about Zoox’s feelings, about Devo’s past, about Amber’s future. Show me how Lady Godwin feels about the body horror that is her life- like, seriously! WHY DID WE HAVE TO COMPLETELY DISMISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS GENERATIONAL TRAUMA IN MUTT’S LIFE FOR A JOKE??

Do you remember in Steeplechase where the boys were getting medical attention or something- i don’t remember, but they were all in one room and only talking about The Plot. And Poppy literally banged on the door (speaking for both Justin and me, tbh) and was like “does anyone want to share any feeeeelings??” and they were like NOPE! and they moved on!!

like. cmon. you can’t just put a character like montrose out there and then leave them severely underdeveloped to the point that what would be interesting in proper context, with audience insight, becomes confusing and chaotic.

I just wish they would take their stories as seriously as we do.

It feels to me like they don’t believe in themselves, and it makes me sad. Maybe they didn’t get the response they wanted from Ethersea and so they’ve been trying to pivot, hoping to recapture whatever it was that earned them a loyal audience.

Again, I love them. They’re so funny and I’ll keep listening until the day they stop making this show, and when it happens I’ll cry.

But i KNOW they have more in them. Remember the “we’ll grow gills” monologue from Justin in the Prologues? Remember Travis’s SOLID acting with Devo? Or his awesome choice to give Lyndon/Beef a clearly delineated work/irl identity? His excellent narration and prose? Remember when Montrose described being lonely?! Remember all those moments where Shit Got Real and you cared??? The nanofather said some dope shit! dracula and victor and sweater dracula had such a wild dynamic! Clint’s acting in Dust 2- I can’t remember the characters name right now- was ASTOUNDING, I genuinely didn’t know he had that in him and it blew me away!

I’m not referencing Balance on purpose, both because the fandom is way to hung up on it and because I want to prove that you don’t even have to look at Balance, or even Post-Balance arcs, to see this kind of good cool stuff!

GAAAAAAAGHHHH!!! I want them to have fun. But also. We’re starving out here.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

but also like. guys you don’t need to leave the minecraft youtube community bc one person is bad to clarify. like. shelby is a minecraft youtuber. a lot of her friends are minecraft youtubers. those friends are supportive and as far as we know all believe her. the vast majority of minecraft youtubers are like. fine. this shit is something that Happens because Abusers are Manipulative, going to another hobby will Not shield you from anything and you’re not immoral for liking something bad people also liked. which is. one of the biggest video games ever. like in this situation no one was knowingly harbouring an abuser and it seems everyone was supportive. this is just a case of some people being shit, not anything to do with mcyt. hell, the guy hasn’t been on minecraft in like a year lmao.

i fully understand why the content might be uncomfortable to you guys now but like, please don’t self flagellate and cut yourself off from an entire genre of media because of one guy again. i saw that happen after the dream stuff and a lot of people ended up losing important things because they made rash decisions and felt like they Had to leave. but please. take one deep fucking breath. this has happened before. this has happened so much before, and in ways far worse than this. because abusers, unfortunately, exist. you should not feel guilty for being manipulated by a manipulative abuser, don’t blame yourself. do what you have to, but please, please keep in mind that the majority of minecraft youtube is fine. it is fine to continue engaging with it. it’s fine to be manipulated by an abuser and it’s not your fault. please don’t make rash decisions and end up losing things you care deeply about and being unable to get them back. distance yourself all you want, but please be careful to not do so out of emotional self harm from the guilt. that’s something this fandom encourages far too much- even outside of this- and it’s unhealthy and anyone expecting it of you is cruel.

[saintsenara]

Thoughts on remadora?

thank you very much for the asks, anons!

while they are by no means my otp, i really enjoy remadora as pairing - and i think they’re fully up there among the canon couples in terms of being an amazing vehicle through which to explore all sorts of questions about life and love - which i am aware is a sufficiently controversial statement that it involves an immediate engagement with some discourse…

because remadora girlies [gender neutral] get an enormous amount of shit within the fandom, particularly from fans who consider wolfstar to be a more plausible pairing for lupin than tonks. i have seen remadora shippers called homophobes for simply enjoying the couple, justified with the bizarre idea that it disrespects remus' relationship with sirius [so... the non-canon one?] to put them together. i have seen tonks turned into a pathetic shrew who is trying to keep remus from the real love of his life by trapping him with an unwanted baby. i have seen remadora shippers get a lot of the usual stuff that people who prefer the canon-endgame couples do [that to ship a canon pair is boring, that it is indicative of a lack of talent, that it indicates an uncritical support for jkr] magnified to eleven because tonks has the temerity to be a barrier to remus’ relationship with the fandom’s favourite hot and brooding man.

obviously, this is bullshit - primarily because its unreasonable and cruel to invest so much time and energy being mean to people because of their harry potter shipping preferences [fandom should never be that deep].

but it’s also a disappointment to me personally because it means that it can be very hard to find the sort of remadora i like without looking like i’m coming to contribute to the pile-on. because where many remadora fans and i don’t see eye-to-eye is that i have absolutely no interest in thinking about them as a relationship which is actually functional. and, all too often, i find myself sifting through fics which do prefer to interpret them like this - as romantic and passionate and stable - largely, i think it’s fair to say, as a defensive move against the tide of “urgh, imagine shipping that” nonsense - even though all the evidence of canon is that they are… very much not.

i am aware of the pottermore article which smoothes the edges of lupin’s canonical reaction to tonks’ feelings for him in half-blood prince - but, while i read this as something of a retcon to make the relationship more palatable, i also don’t think that assuming that both tonks and lupin’s attraction to each other was sincere precludes them being as dysfunctional as they canonically are. i don’t go in for the common anti-remadora argument that tonks “forces” him into a relationship with her - it’s clear in half-blood prince that it’s not only her who has discussed her feelings with molly and arthur weasley, lupin is definitely flirting with her when they pick harry up in order of the phoenix, lupin is an adult man [no matter other power imbalances between him and tonks - such as the fact that she is an agent of the state which oppresses him] who possesses the capacity to refuse her advances, and - since teddy’s conception is not immaculate - he has no issue with enjoying a sexual relationship with her even if he then wants to run away from the product of that.

instead, what i like with remadora is that they reveal something which goes against the grain of the rest of the series: that love is not always enough. throughout the seven-book canon, we see time and time again the idea that love - and, crucially, love-as-noble-suffering and love-as-sacrifice - is enough to overcome any problem. entire civil service collaborating with a terrorist regime? don’t trouble yourself, love has won. your mother dying in childbirth leaving you to be neglected in a state institution? your own fault you’re not interested in love.

i understand the genre reasons for this, but i also love the way in which lupin especially exists on the margins of these genre conventions [just as he exists on the margins of wizarding society!]. i’m always struck in deathly hallows that he’s the only person who’s actually realistic about the demands of war - particularly when he tells harry that it is breathtakingly naive for him to think he can get through the fighting without having to shoot to kill - and that part of him having to be shuffled out of the way when harry tells him to return to the pregnant tonks is because, were the story focused on realism, the idea of a wanted man who is considered an unhuman by the state fleeing in order to guarantee the safety of his wife and unborn child becomes eminently reasonable and harry's defense of the nuclear family embarrassingly unradical.

and so i like the idea of lupin seeing tonks - and tonks seeing lupin - initially as just a bit of fun, as the two of them being just two chill single people who think the other is hot and interesting and want to bang because of it.

[which is something fandoms in general really struggle with as a concept. we like epic love stories - and you won't find me objecting to that! - but we're less good at thinking about casual sexual attraction or transient friendships, and how these can be transformative and meaningful without having to end up going any sort of distance.]

and i then like the idea of the relationship being forced into a profundity it doesn’t really have the juice to sustain by the sheer avalanche of grief which besets the two of them - sirius, dumbledore, mad-eye, ted - and by the pressure of the war and the fact that the order is scrambling and the hangover of remus' self-destruction in half-blood prince which makes each cling to the other as a life-raft. i like remadora as something codependent and messy and strange and sad, and i don’t think this prevents it being sincere and fun and based in mutual attraction, but instead that these positive qualities can exist in conjunction with the fact that, without the war, it would have been a summer of fucking and that was probably it.

on tonks herself, i don’t think i can say it better than @evesaintyves in this meta on her character. i’ve been really uncomfortable with quite a lot of stuff i’ve seen recently which has taken against the idea that tonks can be meaningfully read as queer on the basis of what we find in the text, above all because it so often comes with the implication that one cannot imagine her in her canon endgame pairing and presume that she’s something other than straight or cisgender. eve sets out an excellent case for tonks as bolshy and liberated and in tune with herself and fun and confused and in flux and still figuring stuff out about who she is and where she’s going - and this translates, may i say, to an astonishingly beautiful way of writing her, lupin, and the dysfunction inherent between them which i highly recommend you read.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making a YouTuber feel uncomfortable? 

Here me out please, before you all make assumptions. 

A couple months ago, I(19F) began following a YouTuber that I quickly began to love. I won’t be saying the YouTuber’s name for the sake of protecting their privacy, obviously. I started to watch their videos(which were mainly about a story that she came up with, featuring her ocs) and enjoyed them all, enjoyed the ocs, too. This YouTuber is a relatively unpopular one, but not so unpopular that they’re obscure or completely unheard of, they’re just not one of the big names in the YouTuber community. I made a few amazing friends due to us being in the same fandom and both enjoying this YouTuber’s content. One day, I decided to write a fanfic for this person’s story featuring her ocs. I uploaded the fic to AO3 and made sure to credit the YouTuber with creating these amazing ocs. I then showed it to my few friends, who all loved the fanfic. However, one day I made the mistake of showing the fic to a mutual friend(now an ex-friend but that’s a topic for another discussion) that me and the YT both share, and she sent the fanfic to the YT without my permission. Now before y’all get up in arms, I didn’t mind at all that she had sent it to the YT, in fact, I actually wanted the YT to see. However I really wish that she had asked me first, because I would have been more than happy to show it to them! Unfortunately, a few days after I sent it to her, my other friend(let’s call her M) showed me an announcement the YT made on her Discord, in which she complained about people writing fanfictions of her ocs and “using” them in her stories without her permission. She also stated that she felt like she was losing control of her story when other people wrote fanfics of it, and that whoever wrote the fanfiction “didn’t understand boundaries”(even though she didn’t have this boundary before and also wrote in the announcement that she used to be okay with fanfics of her work, but now no longer is). I deleted the fanfic the moment I saw the post from my friend, but I was a bit disappointed since I never meant to make her feel uncomfortable and only wanted to show my love and appreciation for her story, and possibly get more people to check out her story as well. Still, I deleted the fanfic from AO3. 

Now, here’s where things get interesting. A while later, I joined the YouTuber’s Discord server, where I met many people that I got along quite well with and quickly befriended. I often engaged in conversations with them about the story, and often drew fanart of my favorite character and posted it to the art channel in the server(she’s okay with fanart of her ocs, just not fanfics). Now is probably a good time to mention that while I was in the Discord server(and even before that) I often talked about the story with my friend on Tumblr(not M, these are two separate friends) who did not have Discord but loved the story just as much as I did. We often talked about the story and how much we enjoyed it, and often came up with jokes and headcanons, basic stuff like that, that any fan would do. Anyway, back to the Discord, one of the rules of the server was not to be disrespectful or rude or malicious towards other people, and another was that if you received two warnings about your behavior in the server then you would be quickly banned from the server and no longer allowed to come back. I understood this and tried to conduct myself to the best of my ability. However, one day, I found myself mysteriously unable to access the server, and when I tried to rejoin, I was again unable to. I found out that the reason I couldn’t access the server was because I had been banned due to “disrespectful behavior”, “engaging in arguments”, and making the YouTuber(who ran the server) uncomfortable. I was confused, because I genuinely don’t remember ever engaging in rude behavior with anyone. The few instances(according to them) in which I had been allegedly rude or disrespectful to people were both genuine misunderstandings, and both times I had apologized for them and did not repeat the behavior. I also did not receive any form of warning before being banned, despite one of the rules being that you will receive two warnings before being banned from the server. Still, I apologized for my alleged hostility and asked if I could come back, however the YouTuber said no, and went on to add that not only was I rude to people in the server(which, again, were both genuine misunderstandings), but that she had seen my Tumblr conversations with my friends in which I talked about her story, and said that she was “wildly uncomfortable” with how “obsessive” I was with it as well as my favorite character in the story. This bewildered me to no end because the YouTuber did not have Tumblr and had never once ever mentioned being on or having access to Tumblr, so I did not expect her to see my posts(and even if she did, I did not expect to get banned for them as they do not violate the rules of the server). It made me wonder why she didn’t just talk to me and explain to me that she was uncomfortable with me posting about her work instead of just banning me altogether and not giving me a chance to defend myself. I ended up sadly and reluctantly deleting all of my posts relating to her story, and requesting my friend to do the same. I told M about this scenario, and she was enraged on my behalf, saying that the YouTuber probably was actually upset about my having written a fanfic for her ocs, and said that she didn’t understand me being called obsessive because I acted like a normal fan would(which I agree with). Some of my other friends have sided with me as well and told me that the YouTuber was acting petty, however some of my friends have taken a middle ground. None of them entirely condemned me, but that may just be because they are biased and don’t want to hurt my feelings. The mutual friend/now ex-friend(of course) merely told me to “self-reflect” and move on from the story. Regardless, the YouTuber now has me blocked, not just on Discord, but on Instagram as well, where I also reside. 

Reasons why I think I might be the asshole: I will admit that I have a tendency to really hyperfixate on things and get especially attached to fictional characters that I adore and resonate with, so I can see why that would make them uncomfortable. That being said… 

Reasons why I think I might not be the asshole: I genuinely wasn’t trying to make this wonderful YouTuber feel uncomfortable or be “obsessive” with the story. I merely wanted to show my appreciation for it in a way that I thought was normal for online fans, which included writing a fanfic, drawing fanart, and geeking out about the story with my friends(admittedly publicly). I had no idea that these actions would turn the YouTuber off, and merely wanted to show how much I enjoyed the story. I also was never rude to anyone in the server and apologized whenever a misunderstanding rose up. I never tried to be aggressive with anyone or cursed anybody out or tried to have arguments with people, so I have no idea where that came from. 

So, what say ye, oh wise people of Tumblr? Am I the asshole or not?

What are these acronyms?

[mazzystar24]

Being a psychology nerd and engaging in fandom actually makes my eye twitch sometimes because terms are constantly being used wrong to diss people or characters and also people will act like they know every experience a mentally ill person can have just based off a small sample of what they’ve seen and they’ll use that to disregard storylines or people’s opinions or spec

So some things guys that may be an unintentional call out or reassurance for your spec:

Hallucinations CAN be auditory and visual simultaneously (multi modal it can even be tactile, somatic olfactory or gustatory) and there is actually a very high prevalence of this in a lot of disorders and are actually thought to occur more frequently than unimodal hallucinations, and yes it can be in the form of full blown conversations with people that aren’t there and they can be extremely elaborate and complex especially if paired with delusions- so yes the possibility that Kim is a hallucination and we are just seeing it from Eddie’s pov is valid spec so stop being dismissive to people

Also for my brain tumour truthers- a brain tumour is a little complicated when it comes to hallucinations cos it really depends where the tumour is and what regions are effected because for example an occipital lobe tumour is more likely to just cause visual hallucinations- but multimodal hallucinations due to a brain tumour is also possible, a brain tumour also comes with other symptoms too but a lot can be consistent with the spec like for example impulsivity or disinhibition, delusions, aggression (if the buddie divorce is true that works), anxiety, depression, etc.

Trauma bonding is something that occurs in ABUSIVE situations where you start to feel sympathy and love for your abuser it’s not when people bond over trauma - so no what buck and Eddie or buck and Chris have is very much not a trauma bond

Gaslighting isn’t just lying to someone it’s intentionally manipulating them to the extent that they doubt their own sanity (the term coming from a play turned movie where a husband drives his wife crazy by like screwing with the gas lights in their house when she’s alone to make her doubt her memory and her perception of reality) - so no Eddie is not GASLIGHTING buck when he lies to him 😭😭

Codependency is also just not what Eddie and buck have, they don’t base their entire lives on each other and they don’t like have an unhealthy dynamic or have an imbalanced relationship, now yes they both had times when they needed the other to be there for them or help them through stuff or aid their self worth but overall they more so just want to be around each other not that they NEED to and they work on themselves separately like going to therapy by themselves while also supporting eachother by helping out while they do that

[mysterycitrus]

what gave you the idea for persephone? was it spite towards those "reverse robins" things where everyone before dick is somehow still robin (understandable and very valid they rarely do anything storywise and also give the backstories to different people without considering character)? or something else

it was originally kinda the skeleton of a fic id started writing like five years ago — about new52 nightwing and pre-flashpoint nightwing swapping universes — but tbh last year i read something that was an examination of dick grayson as robin through the eyes of the other robins and it just……. threw me off so bad that persephone spawned as a result

persephone and the series as a whole is just one long character study of dick grayson and the ghost of his parents, and how he’s viewed by others. there’s like… four prequels exclusively about him as perceived by others cause i find it’s a very effective way to engage with a character. we know this character and can more or less guess his thought process, but do others?

the thing i read was pretty much just the other robins being like “we didn’t really know him cause we liked the other robins better but he was ok i guess?” and tim talking about how much he loved jason which just made me think about how the robin legacy is so muddied in both fanon and canon that i just couldn’t contain myself. that was my first foray back into comics fandom and it was jarring with how my ideas differed from what seemed to be popular. obvsly not interested in flaming a fanwork but like…. i wanted to at least post something about my understanding of the characters. that’s why i wrote wolf king too (my mistake) — there are popular fanon plot beats i just disagree with. ive never really read reverse robin stuff because i don’t think the robin mantle would work in that order so i can’t comment on it but yeah. same principle.

i do think it’s possible to write interesting speculative batman stuff while being relatively true to every character, so that’s my ultimate intention. to add interesting details to canon in a meaningful way.

so yeah. ig i was inspired by being a meanie. and because dick grayson is my very special boy ♥️

[silverpiwon]

How I see p1eces based on their piwon bias:

(I don’t actually see every person who like a specific member in any specific way. This is just for fun and showing some associations I have with p1eces. Also I didn’t talk about their skills because I think every p1ece is obsessed with the members abilities so there’s so need to talk about them)

☆ Theo stans - very funny (especially the Korean fans), super chill but secretely pining over him. Act like they’re not delulu but they are. They would be the people who try being mysterious and fail. They’re not the loudest in the fandom but are very stable (idk why but it made me thing of a pillar that keeps the fandom up). Might skew a bit older than other p1eces? The kind of people who have a job and taxes to pay.

☆ Keeho stans - funny and loud but can be a little annoying. Strongly opinionated but in a positive way where they’re not afraid to speak up and take up space. They might have a good eye for fashion and aesthetics. Don’t always want to date Keeho and see him as a bestie a lot of times. They help the fandom grow with their loudness and passion/engagement.

☆ Jiung stans - very dedicated and supportive. They don’t play about Jiung to the point where it’s a little too much sometimes. Most likely introverted. Possibly good at organising stuff if they have to. Can be a bit intense but rarely have reasons to be. Value authenticity even if the reality pushes others away and prefer it more than perfection.

☆ Intak stans - very passionate and the kind of people who go all in into something. I imagine Intak stans as the people who would giggle and kick their feet with their friends when he does anything cool or attractive. Maybe a little boy-crazy? They’re generally not too jealous and want to share their Intak joy with others.

☆ Soul stans - people who want to emulate his alien swag so badly. They don’t even get amused (or confused) by what he does because they simply understand him. Would move mountains if it meant keeping him happy but also would cry if you told them one mean word. Might be idealistic and the kind of people who look at the big picture.

☆ Jongseob stans - either adults who think he’s super smart and talented and cool and cute and he deserves everything good in this world, or teenagers who have their whole future planned with him. Very down to earth and full of true appreciation for him. Old pictures and videos of jongseob might make them cry. On a mission to let everybody know how talented he is.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi. I’m sending this anonymously but if tumblr glitches and it isn’t anonymous please don’t post this because I’m absolutely completely entirely mortified.

I’m 20 FtM. About a year and a half ago, when I moved out and started at college, I discovered fandom, and began to get really into reading fics on AO3. My parents had heavily restricted my internet access growing up, and as new adult I began to discovered the barrage of content online.

Soon enough, I was spending about an hour or two every night reading smut fics. I never thought anything of it, because, well, it’s just words, it’s not *actually* porn, right?

Recently I did start watching some explicit videos but tried to limit myself to only once or twice a month because the shame I felt as well as the strange dissatisfaction just wasn’t worth it.

After doing some research, I found a study that said that watching porn for more than an hour a week was unhealthy. I thought, yeah, okay, fair enough.

Then I realised: does my fanfiction reading count as pornography?

I kept thinking to myself that because it was text it didn’t count, but —does it? Is that the reason that lately I’ve been feeling strangely dissatisfied and empty after reading/watching? Will I feel like this when I eventually have sex?? (still a virgin, mainly for dysphoria reasons)

I found all this stuff online that says porn addictions can screw you over for life, that you can’t find sexual satisfaction with a partner.

Should I cut back?

I don’t normally masturbate while consuming porn. I feel too ashamed. I normally just sit there and read/watch.

Am I a porn addict?????? Should I quit reading smut? Help.

If you can’t tell, I wasn’t raised in a very sex positive environment and I feel very ashamed. I don’t really know who to talk to and I just feel very guilty so I’m resorting to an anonymous ask on Tumblr.

If you read this, thank you for taking the time. I appreciate it.

— Jason

hi Jason,

I don't think you're a porn addict. I think you're probably just an anxious 20 year old from a pretty restrictive background and now that you have a little more freedom you're kind of nervous about it, which is very normal.

I want to be super clear: written porn is porn. porn is any sexually explicit material designed to titillate; it's existed since WAY before the moving picture existed and it will exist long after the internet has crumbled to dust. people like porn! and it's okay to like porn. the text-based stuff is particularly high on the list of porn that's pretty unambiguously fine, morally-speaking, because you never have to worry that the performer you're watching has had their video stolen by pornhub or that, god forbid, anyone onscreen isn't a willing participant, but I want to be super clear that liking sexually explicit photos or videos of real people is also 100% fine.

obviously I have no idea what study you read, but I'd be cautious about any study being boiled down to such black and white, attention-grabbing headlines. you can interpret a study to mean virtually anything if you want to, and there are a lot of interest groups with a vested interest in demonizing porn. if reading smutty fan fic makes you happy and isn't interfering with the rest of your life, you should do that.

unfortunately it sounds like it's not making you happy lately, dissatisfied and empty feelings. in the kindest way possible, I don't think much of that is being caused by the porn itself. it sounds like it's coming from your gnawing worry that you're a porn addict. maybe it's best to take a little step away from porn and smutty fic for a while, if only until you feel able to engage with it without feeling bad.

also, speaking of porn addiction: that's a very dubious condition, and one that's not scientifically or medically recognized. to be certain, people can develop a reliance on porn that disrupts their daily function and can wreak havoc on their lives, but that's true of anything that causes your brain to spit out happy chemicals. anything that become a maladaptive coping mechanism, including and especially things that are fine and even necessary in small doses. sleeping, exercising, and going shopping are all things that can be life-ruining if done to harmful excess, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong if you like to sleep in, go for runs, or browse your favorite online stores every once in a while.

if reading smut isn't causing you to skip out on your more important obligations, fail to take care of yourself, or bringing on bankruptcy, I think you're probably alright. the biggest danger I see here is you beating yourself over the head with your own anxiety about this, which may be a sign that it's a good idea to take a step back for entirely different reasons than you were worried about.

[beevean]

If I’m being honest, you are all getting way too hung up on fake diseases and attacking a writer as if he personally attacked your family. It’s a strange obsession you have and you guys always come at any small nitpick as if it’s the end of the world. It’s a weird obsession and you have all been doing it for years. Maybe you liked Sunset Heights getting a remix but you also play victim when people don’t like the 2010s games. You can see Sonic is more successful now and doing things much better but you just like to sit in your anger towards the series for years. I’ll add that you’re much more sane in your reactions than RandomtheFox, but this whole side of the fandom here is so pathetic. The endless loop of anything new coming out for Sonic, and your little posse hating on it because it isn’t the meta era or because Ian Flynn has his name on it makes me glad you guys are a small minority in the fandom.

Do you want to know why we're discussing this?

If you go back and read our discussions, see how much we brought up with this little detail!

I looked up the effects of low gravity on the human body: I learned something new about science. I tried to put into words why this detail is harder to accept than Sonic breathing in space: this is about stories and world building. I immediately found a replacement idea. We discussed about SA2, its gameplay mechanics, its cutscenes. Someone even brought up the idea of drawing parallels with AIDS and how it would affect Maria. Negativity can stem from a place of reasoning, "how would I do that?", and it makes me use my brain in a fun way. I'm aware it's a inconsequential detail, but I'm having fun!

As for the rest of the message, yeah, we are a minority. Which makes me wonder why you care so much about a group of, what, four people?

Why don't I get any engagement when I'm positive, but suddenly people are up my ass when I talk about something negative? I didn't even tag most of my posts. Bro half of the Sonic fandom blocked me already because I'm a dirty sinning IDW non-enjoyer. I am not bothering anyone.

By the way, my negativity about IDW once even resulted in me writing a fic about it. Again, creativity and genuine discussions about writing a story and its downfalls. It nourishes the brain.

I don't like this new direction for Sonic. There, happy? I don't feel catered to, as a 2000s fan, by all this "REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE COOL????" stuff, not to mention I'm just not a Shadow fan so seeing him with wings and shit does nothing for me. I am annoyed because this used to be a franchise dear to me, but the current environment, both games and fandom, alienates me. I am also aware that, precisely because I'm in the minority, I'll just have to wait until ST changes trend again.

If my writer side activates when I talk about a writing decision I don't like and I'm having fun dissecting it, let me, alright? You can find me cringe, if you want to, but I'm not doing anything different than other fans, just directed towards a less acceptable target and in the privacy of my blocked blog.

Also: to be perfectly honest, if it only takes me one day of mild bitching to get anons yelling at me that I'm a joyless bastard doomed to be sad because I refuse to be happy, it kind of makes me want to be saltier out of spite. I'm already a bad person, might as well, right?

[hxhhasmysoul]

I found it strange how certain fans don’t apparently see the romantic undertone and chemistry between Gon and Killua, but yet still see can Killua as being gay.

Do you think it’s possible that those fans infantilize Gon by not viewing Gon being capable to understand romantic feelings?

Despite the fact that Gon is technically more experienced with those type of relationships compared to Killua…

I think you’re right, some fans do infantilize Gon a lot (or demonise him). But there is more to why he’s not perceived as gay or why his feelings are not so well noticed.

The most obvious as to why they don’t want to see Gon’s quite obvious feelings towards Killua is the expectation of Gon being straight just by virtue of being a shounen manga protagonist. Those guys do not engage in romance usually, and if they do it’s very much in the background or played for laughs. There will just be “and they were all straight” time skip ending. 

Based on my observations of the two fandoms I’m a part of, there are a lot of fans who come into stories with preconceived notions of what the story will be. If it’s a shounen the mc will have certain traits, his storyline will have certain beats and they will just ignore anything that deviates from these expectations. (Or get very upset that the story is not meeting those expectations)

Killua can be gay, because he’s not the main character and those are allowed more range by the fandom at large. Like there will be people who expect Killua to be Gon’s rival and get confused that he isn’t, but generally the fandom is more tolerant of Killua not fitting that character trope.

And Killua fits into several western gay stereotypes ( I don’t know enough about Japanese gay stereotypes to say he fits those too). 

His body language sometimes slightly veers into what is deemed stereotypically feminine. 

He has more distinct outfits than Gon in the anime. In the manga Gon has more outfits, including a dress-up game that Togashi drew as extras, which includes a dress for Gon, which I at least treat as a canon outfit that Gon has. Which makes Gon not really gender conforming 100% of the time, which in our current societal norms makes him seem queer. But most fans never read the manga, or just skimmed through it.

Killua likes sweets which according to gender stereotypes is a girly preference. In Japan this kind of stereotype can be seen that sweets are for kids and girls, but also in the western so called manosphere you can find people claiming that a real man should never order a dessert. I wouldn’t claim that we never see Gon eating sweets in canon, because I’ve never cared enough to keep track of it, but Killua’s obsession with Chocorobos is so prominent it’s a meme.

And the reader is treated to Killua explicitly waxing poetic about Gon in his head. It’s kinda hard to miss.

_____________

In addition to Gon not performing queer stereotypes as much as Killua does, there just is prejudice against the kind of person Gon is. And here comes the full on infantilization. 

I kind of hate writing this kind of stuff, attaching diagnosis to characters that officially have none. There are aspects to Gon that can lean into interpreting him as neurodivergent. He has moments of hyperfocus when he becomes blind to the world outside, he sometimes has problems regulating his emotions, he can get single minded, he’s prone to risk taking, has issues with self worth and depression.

Like many neurodivergent people he’s not good when it comes to school learning, school is just not compatible with the neurodiverse. 

But people (including some not self aware neurodiverse people) will judge you on your intelligence and maturity if you don’t excel in that environment. With Gon it’s extra annoying, because he proves over and over again how smart he is. 

Also Gon has hobbies and shows excitement about them. To a large subset of society that just means you’re a child, like for some reason the mark of maturity is being tepid and not invested in anything but making money and having a nuclear family. Gon still is literally a child, so his excitement is excusable, but it also makes him see much less mature than Killua who’s already trying to perform moderation in showing excitement about things, he doesn’t always manage, but he’s more reserved, above it all. He’s already self-policing his levels of excitement. 

And because a lot of people in the fandom are young, these biases are just something that have been ingrained into them by the culture, their family and school and they never paused to actually realise that they actually have these opinions and how fucked up they are, because these opinions just feel like duh, like this is obviously how it should be.

And since we don’t get that much of Gon’s inner voice, it’s easy to get tricked into thinking that unlike Killua, Gon doesn’t have a rich inner life, that he doesn’t have all these thoughts constantly running through his head. He’s just this silly kid who sees a bug and suddenly the excitement of that is just 100% percent of his inner life. 

As a silly child Gon’s incapable of romantic feelings, especially gay feelings. Because as we know gay feelings are for older people. Which strongly feeds into the bias that neurodivergent people are generally immature and like should their supposed love lives (or gender identity) even be treated seriously let alone acknowledged?

I personally don’t think that Gon is that much more experienced than Killua when it comes to romance. Like Gon thinks he knows how to throw a date but it’s clear he’s much more interested in the whole planning and preparing a date then being romantic with a person. It feels that his attitude towards “dating” is a little naive and confused, which makes sense because he is a kid. That doesn’t mean he’s incapable of deep love, it’s just that he needs to gain more life experience, actually try to be in a romantic relationship, not just have deep feelings for his friend that they never talk about XD So like I think his experience in romance and dating should only be measured once he tries to take on a date someone he actually would like to date. And not organise play pretend dates for his aunt or as entertainment for some tourist ladies for whom it’s an a funny attraction to indulge a little sheltered boy who things that taking them, complete strangers he’ll never see again his life, on a guided tour of the island and giving them flowers constitutes a proper date. Especially in the context of Gon’s date with Palm.*

_____________

Gon’s love is stated in dialogue and not in his inner monologue, it’s in the way he acts towards Killua, how he repeatedly says that he wants to be with Killua, how much Killua’s safety matters to him. Because of that it’s more missable, it just flows with the scene. It’s not as explicit as Killua’s stream of consciousness. We don’t know what Gon’s stream of consciousness looks like, we don’t know how much of his conscious thought is occupied by him just explicitly thinking about Killua. Because of that the people, who want to see Gon as just a shounen protag, will assume that there are no such thoughts in Gon’s head. Or even more likely, never bother to consider what might be going on in Gon’s head because it’s not something they generally do. And because of the stupid date with Palm gag, they will feel more assured in their assumption that Gon's straight. Because of how Togashi frames it, Gon's clear discomfort with Palm's bahaviour and his complete interest in her as a potential crush are obscured. 

-

-

-

-

_____________

* Dates with older ladies and Palm tangent, le sigh. 

Generally Togashi really doesn’t stick the landing when it comes pedophilia. 

First of all, it’s pretty clear Togashi did no research on it, just defaulted to stereotypes about it. 

There’s Hisoka who kinda embodies the harmful stereotype that links samesex attraction and gender non conforming presentation with pedophilia. And leans into the stranger danger stereotype. In reality creepy strangers like Hisoka are statistically less likely to anything more than passive creepers who stare at kids and have pedophilic scenarios in their heads, because most active paedophiles are people who are in some way close to the child. Unless there is child trafficking going on, or child prostitution. Of course someone so powerful like Hisoka could just use violence or money to get access to children but this is going into speculation about what Hisoka could potentially do outside of what the text gives us. It’s not unreasonable speculation but I don’t think Togashi thought that deeply about it. I just think he went by the stereotype and used the hints of paedophilia as an extra quick association to add to Hisoka’s general super creepy vibe. And I’m saying hints, because Togashi really strives to have plausible deniability here. He always tries to mix in Hisoka’s obsession with strong opponents into the scenes that without that would clearly read as pedophilic. But with that obsession in the mix, it lets some people contest the pedophilic reading, claim that Hisoka’s boner is about Gon’s power growing. I think Togashi muddies the waters on purpose to keep the whole thing less serious.  

Some people in the fandom interpret Illumi as a paedophile. Him being one is more in line with what rl statistics would suggest. He has an extremely creepy obsession with Killua, has means to control Killua and is very chill with Hisoka having paedophilic interests. And while I think it’s a reading that makes perfect sense, it is an interpretation. Even if Togashi wanted Illumi to read that way, he still put in enough plausible deniability that many people will just think that interpreting Illumi as a paedophile is reaching.  

So now we come to Palm and Gon “dating” older women.

What I think Togashi went for with the older women on Whale Island is to give the reader the image that Gon’s dates were akin to kids throwing tea parties for their toys and/or family members. Especially the mention of him going on dates with Mito makes it more plausible that it was what Togashi intended. Just a kid play pretending to do adult things. Cute, naive, innocuous. And also knowing it’s just role playing. Because most kids know that they are playing, that serving tiny toy teacups to their family members is just pretending to serve tea. They are usually old enough to separate their imagination from reality. 

We know that Gon is aware that the date he organises for Palm is pretend. He does not like Palm that way, he does not want to be in a relationship with her and he is trying to let her down easy by taking her on a pretend date. He probably thought it was a good idea because he likely got good feedback from the older women he used to “take on dates”. Likely those women had fun like adults have fun during the fake tea parties. Everyone knows it’s just role playing a scenario for fun. 

I don’t think that we’re supposed to think that those women were creepers who believed those dates were real. Because the whole shitty joke is that both Palm and Killua think that it’s real when Gon is perfectly aware that it isn’t. 

Gon has enough self-awareness that he knows he doesn’t have feelings for Palm and that he’d like her not to have feelings for him. But he’s also scared of her because she’s an extremely  strong nen user and she’s shown to be unstable in a violent way. So he chooses to play into her delusion to get himself out of the situation and not hurt her feelings. Because of his lack of like experience it backfires, because he likely had never met a person like her. He doesn’t know that there is no way not to hurt her feelings at that point, that she’s not a rational actor. 

In this Gon both shows that he has emotional maturity in line with his age and certain gaps in understanding the world also in line with his age. 

And we also see that Killua treats Gon as intelligent and as mature as himself and with respect for Gon’s life experience because he takes Gon’s words about dating experience waay too seriously. Which is also in line with his age, kids that age can we waay too serious for their own good just because they are trying to perform more and more the societally accepted trappings of maturity. 

Why is the joke shitty? Because it’s misogynistic, sexist towards boys and again shows how Togashi didn’t do any fucking research on paedophilia. 

In real life we will have people claim that there is nothing wrong with adult women dating or even having sex with teen boys. That these boys should feel proud that they bagged a hottie, that if they complain if they feel bad or exploited they are not real men. That it’s not really pedophilia if an adult woman does that to a boy. It’s also sexist towards boys because it comes with the assumption that a real boy is horny all the time and of course straight. 

And the joke is only that Palm is crazy and she threatens Gon with violence into it. At least that the only issue male shounen fans both teenage and adult have with this. Palm is hot enough to be an obvious target of desire for Gon, a hottie to bag, but you know hahaha the best pussy is crazy, just saying hahaha. 

And of course we have the sexism of women only being concerned with relationships, and being crazy about that. And easily controllable by men they are attracted to. That it’s okay for Knov to exploit Palms mental state and her feelings for him. 

Togashi really shat the bed with this one. And the problem is that a lot of fans hate Palm for this, even more than Hisoka, because Togashi plays it for laughs, unlike with Hisoka. That the only issue presented with the scenario is that Palm is unhinged, otherwise the whole thing would’ve been cool. 

The misogyny in fandom is unreal. Because the thing is that if Palm’s story was framed properly the date would’ve been a far more nuanced thing. Yes, her forcing Gon to do it would’ve been creepy and horrible. But also it’d be clear that Palm wants to date Gon because he seems safe and controllable to her. Because she’s being abused and exploited by an adult man who uses her feelings to manipulate her. And she’s looking for a situation where she’d be more in control. She is both a victim and an abuser. And this is a very psychologically realistic situation. There isn’t a direct causation between being a victim of abuse and then becoming an abuser. Not all abusers used to be victims, not all victims become abusers. But there is a significant percentage of abusers that used to be victims. It’s something Togashi could’ve explored with Palm because it’s all there, in the text, but he chose not to. Instead he played her creepy behaviour with Gon for laughs, made her prostitute herself to make Knov happy, and fixed her mental issues through having her bodily autonomy violated… And I’m not sure he could’ve done it worse if he tried. Because the sad truth that this shitty Palm situation came from him not trying, him just defaulting to harmful cliches while writing her and calling it a day, likely not giving her story much thought at all.

[myfairkatiecat]

Not to be rude but I think it's quite silly to say OP's religious beliefs are irrelevant, and cannot be referenced, because they are not explicitly mentioned in the post being reblogged, when op has stated directly that they are homophobic because of their religious beliefs, and the post being reblogged is being accused of homophobia. Like, if some guy made a post saying "I think no women should be able to have jobs because that makes them less dependent on men and therefore I can't get a girlfriend", then made a separate post saying "Media nowadays glorifies women having jobs too much!! Stay at home mothers need more representation!!!" I think it would be extremely relevant in that situation to say, "Ok, this guy has clearly stated biases in this conversation, which calls into question whether this post is REALLY just about representation in media or whether it's indicative of OP's real life agenda." (Not trying to conflate religion with being an incel here btw, just giving an example of another time when knowing more information about the source of the post changes the way you might interpret it.)

The person reblogging that post didn't just say "OP's username is religious so I'm going to read this as homophobic!!!", they linked a specific post in which OP directly stated "My religion prevents me from accepting LGBT people, and I use my religious texts to justify why being LGBT is wrong." How is that not relevant context for their post griping about how fandom makes everything gay?

Ooh, let’s work within your hypothetical!

Some guy is being misogynistic on their blog but then makes a valid post about how stay at home mother’s don’t get enough representation in media.

If the post that says “stay at home mothers should get more representation!” says absolutely nothing about how women actually shouldn’t ever get jobs, then it’s a good post about the validity of mothers we choose to stay at home and how they deserve more representation in the media! There is therefore nothing wrong with reblogging and agreeing with the post, and going into the reblogs of that post to tell everyone “how hard is it for you to just look at their url and blog and realize they say other stuff that you DON’T agree with?” would be kinda rude.

Reblogging a post boosts the signal on what was said in that post. It doesn’t subscribe you to that person’s entire belief system.

Furthermore, the original poster, Gracie, says very very little about that topic on her blog to keep from offending anyone. I’ve never seen her try to force her beliefs onto anyone. She’s super respectful while also believing, as her religion states, that her God is the one true God. This is a belief claim about a system that would therefore according to her beliefs apply to everyone, but she isn’t forcing anyone to agree with her. The post that was cited in that reblog in which Gracie says explicitly her beliefs regarding the LGBT community and scripture was in a response to an ask that was sent to her. She didn’t even volunteer the information, someone asked her for it, and she replied honestly. I have never seen Gracie be anything but respectful, and if you knew her, you’d know she’s super kind and never would want anyone to feel invalidated or uncomfortable because of something she posts.

No one, including Gracie, is forcing you to agree with her religious beliefs. If they make you uncomfortable, I highly recommend not scrolling through a Christian blog. When people are reblogging her post, they aren’t even necessarily saying they agree with everything she’s ever posted. That topic is entirely separate. If you want to converse civilly with Gracie about why she believes what she believes, I recommend being respectful to her. If you’d rather ignore her all together, I point you towards the block button.

If somebody’s religion or belief system makes you uncomfortable enough that you don’t want to engage with any of their content, that’s your choice, but the people in the reblogs aren’t being “dumb” for not “checking who the source is,” they’re just saying they agree with the post they agree with.

Imagine agreeing with a post you agree with! Novel concept.

In short, posts are independent pieces of text. Reblogging a post doesn’t say anything except “I agree with this piece of text and want to share it.” If that piece of text doesn’t say anything about OP’s religion, then their religion isn’t relevant to the post. It’s as simple as that.

I hope you have a blessed day <3

[beartitled]

Can you do some more comics with Francis mosses

I can, but the problem is

That I’m pretty much out of ideas and I’m progressively getting tired of tnmn fandom

Ppl who look at my tags probably noticed that 😓

More of my thoughts under read more for curious ppl

(short answer maybe I will do more, but I desperately need a break from tnmn)

! Just a general warning: this came out kinda long + sort of venty

Originally I planned to do 1 comic drop and move on, but got stuck bc ppl liked tnmn comics and kept asking for more (and still do-)

Generally I don’t mind doing more if the ideas are there, but I want to address this: I’m tired

I know blowing up is usually a good thing and I appreciate people enjoying my stuff

But it’s exhausting to see that tnmn is the only type of content which is relevant, to the point that my own projects or stuff I enjoy are just kinda.. ignored

It’s fair – again my blog is heavily fandom based

(+Tsp were and still is kinda the focus)

But with tnmn fandom it’s a bit… different

Maybe I’m biased and it’s just my negative experience with tiktok comments

Remember this art?

cleaning up transphobic comments was.. um tough

Again, I get that you can’t be in that neat bubble completely sheltered from negativity

Humans are just assholes by nature really/j

So I was expecting the backlash, but not that much

I think maybe tsp fandom spoiled me a bit (in a good way), bc I got a feeling that everyone in tsp was positive of any lgbt+ headcanons and just generally more supportive

(don’t get me wrong, there ARE problems in tsp community too, taking narrators design controversy into account as one of the examples)

Obviously every fandom always has it’s own issues, show me at least one fandom that didn’t have some sort of meaningless controversy or some sort of problematic people in it

It happens

But it leaves a bad taste in your mouth sometimes

And for me personally it only added to not so pleasant experience

The thing I also noticed, when I interacted with other fandoms

Ppl wrote positive stuff first and foremost, not really asking for anything

Here it’s just “hey more. I want more. Do more. Do this character. Do this. Do more.”

The only reason I kept doing more, because likes, reblogs, views – these comics get a ton of attention

there is a audience to please alright

But this thing comes with a pressure tho

and it shows

so let me illustrate

This bookcase

Is my shame

Because I was so rushing, I just copied and colour corrected this bookcase from my diploma comic and pasted it here in hopes for the best

💥IT LOOKS HORRIBLE OKAY💥

Usually it’s normal to take materials used in other projects

the not so normal part is

to leave it like that because your stress reducing tea doesn’t work and you don’t really have time to redraw it

my m en ta l s t a t e i s f i n e ah ah h ah ah

Ok but jokes aside: it’s really tempting, to just abandon everything and produce content like some sort of content farm

But I don’t want to, I’m forcing myself and it makes my art worse

Yes it’s subtle, new people won’t even see this

But I’m not improving

And I don’t enjoy just anxiously popping out comics because everyone keeps asking

I can give it my all to something when I’m passionate, but just “hey I’m getting attention” is not the best motivator

Attention like that does get to my head, I know that I will probably give in again and do more, bc I will compare my posts engagement

But what’s the point of recognition, when you feel.. so numb about it…

Sorry for a mountain of text and thank you for ppl who actually took their time to read it

It’s been building up for a while and I feel like people need to know the reason why I’m not so enthusiastic about making “more”

I’m not necessarily completely abandoning this fandom

I still plan to do ask/suggestions event for STP (I’m just making sure I can dedicate my time to it, that’s why it’s taking so long) and I can add tnmn to the mix

Like STP+tnmn kind of deal

But for now – I need a break

At least for a little bit

[buddiebeginz]

Please do not come onto my posts telling me why it’s not good for Buddie shippers to be out there making our love for Buddie known on social media. Or how we’re just going to annoy everyone working at 911.

First of all have you seen how much everyone is talking about Buddie these days? Tim, the actors, people interviewing the cast. If they didn't want to be talking about this pairing they wouldn't be. If it was a ship and fandom they were that tired of having to deal with they would focus on B/T and minimize any focus on Buddie but they're not. Actually the opposite. Tim literally said in his response to a fan the other day that he specifically included that Buddie party stuff for the Buddie fans.

Second one of the worst things you can do for media is show you don’t care. Networks want to know that what they’re investing in is going to encourage people to watch and you know what proves that fan engagement. Buddie fans have been the most vocal fans of 911 since almost the beginning of the show. We have played a crucial part in why the bi buck storyline even happened and to some degree have even helped the show continue as long as it has.

Our engagement and enthusiasm for the show (so long as it’s respectful) is a good thing. It also shows Tim, the writers, and ABC that there is still a large fanbase of people who want this pairing to happen. Let’s also not forget there are a ton of fans out there constantly talking about Buck/T*mmy right now. So what we should just stop talking about Buddie and let them become the loudest voice?

Why is it okay for them to show love for their ship but not us? Also I’ve never said spam every post the 911 account (or the actors) make and make it about Buddie. I’ve said when they post about Buck, Eddie, Buddie, Oliver, or Ryan people should leave comments about Buddie. And yes that includes posts about B/T too because it includes Buck. But also because so many comments on posts about B/T are about how people want them to be endgame. There is nothing wrong with Buddie shippers reminding 911 that B/T fans only comprise a portion of the 911 fandom and that it is not what we all want. That we won't stop rooting for the love story Buck and Eddie deserve.

[anodizedblack]

I almost never make posts in here, but I’ve gotta get this out of my chest at last.

• Discovering My Hero Academia at 15.

• Seeing similarities between Izuku and myself : an emotional teen with a wish to help others, whose poor self-estime makes him try to befriend his bully.

• Enjoy the series for a while, but starts getting disturbed by Katsuki showing violent sadism while personally escaping any consequences.

• Find out a lot of fans not only like Bakugo for his toxic traits (although the author specified he was trying to make him unlikeable), but they also shipped the two together since day one.

• I’m seeing people glamorise a victim wanting the attention of his bully. I’m seeing people glamorise what broke my self-worth in my most vulnerable phase. It hurts.

• I try to not pay attention to it, but it just takes so much space in the fandom : shippers talking about a victim dating his active bully as « so romantic », people obnoxiously insisting how the manga WANTS YOU to see them romantically, even people drawing Bakugo… raping Izuku. I’m feeling sick to my soul, this is agonising.

• The pairing takes so much space its shippers impose themselves as THE queer ship, declaring anyone disliking it either can’t read or is homophobic, even though tons of same-sex ships from the manga have little to no backlash about them, because they’re simply not toxic.

• One Tumblr user even calls me homophobe for not seeing them romantically, something I have never been and never will be. And it happened at a time I was questioning my own sexuality.

• Fine, I won’t try to engage too much with this fandom and focus on the manga. But even without all this, it’s getting harder to enjoy : some characters with an interesting premise get eclipsed in favor of others chosen for their popularity in polls, many relationships are barely written and explored, others behave in a way that undo their character growth, the manga tries to introduce themes poorly, and I’m struggling to feel genuine sympathy for most of the villains.

• I just don’t enjoy this manga anymore, better just stop engaging with it.

• Time passes and I only occasionally see online stuff associated with it. Some plot points being discussed, but mostly shipping discourse again. With « bkdk » fans who seemingly dedicate their every online actions and life to that. Whose hostility and obnoxious behaviour has been immensely detrimental to the public image of the fandom, if not of the manga. They are still hellbent on insisting the entire story is about Bakugo and Izuku’s relationship, actually. Anyone believing otherwise, and pointing out parts of the story showing Izuku having feelings for another character is « delulu » of course.

• Bakugo finally makes his apology, 90% through the series. It’s laughable, and sounds like he doesn’t even know the amount of harm he’s done. Shippers use this as an opportunity to make themselves seem regular healthy fans, as if they haven’t been salivating at him verbally and physically abusing Izuku this whole time. The hypocrisy.

• The « first » ending of the manga comes out, and I find it disappointing. This suit should’ve been given to him by the government right after he recovered from his injuries, he saved the goddamn world. But instead he had to wait for years for his friends to spare money for it. Ugh. Anyways.

• The second and last ending, chapter 431 came out ? Izuku kindly declines an offer from Bakugo to work with him ? And it gives a conclusion to Ochako and Izuku’s relationship, showing them sharing feelings for one another ? So they did end up together… and the bkdk shippers are realising that. After all these years of being horrible, all this confidence and entitlement is simply breaking into a million pieces. And I’m loving every second of it. It absolutely brightens my day, my whole fucking weekend, that all those horrible people who fantasised over a ship born from a toxic idea of a relationship, from something that ruines lives, that broke me and countless others… are feeling disappointed, confused, stupid and miserable. Some say they don’t care, that they can seek refuge in their fanfictions written with « their » version of the characters, but the majority are visibly distraught and showing it. We told you guys, and you deserve every second of misery you’re going through.

It’s a low blow, I know. But you brought us this low.

You’re hurting, and we’re having the last laugh

[obsidianpen]

I think one of my favourite things about you as a writer (and there are many things) is how you flow with the characters themselves, but keep them seperate within their own makings. Like when people ask you questions such as “what does Harry feel about…” or “why does Tom do this specific thing”, a lot of the time you don’t make up your own interpretation and instead run through the characters thought process itself. You keep their quirks from canon, such as V going into the meditative state when waiting for Harry in NG, and you don’t try and explain why only that, that’s just what he does. You don’t overexplain a characters actions and feelings, and I believe that’s why it feels so much like reading straight from canon. You keep the mystery, you keep the allure, you keep the complexities but most importantly you keep their flaws and characterisation. One of my favourite examples is how you wrote Snape in Hauntingly! Snape has always stirred the pot both in the fandom and in the story itself, and there’s always that argument whether he was good or bad but you… you beautiful, AMAZING person wrote him as what he’s always truly been, a deeply complex character with flaws yes but also strengths seen from the books/movies. You challenged the reader into understanding his reasons by creating a tragic parallel of the love he had for Lily vs the love Voldemort had for Harry, but seeing his wicked intelligence and cunning that makes him so ruthless in a way that Voldemort was to so many people. Plus you don’t bash Dumbledore as so many people fall into doing (which is fine, everyone is allowed an interpretation). You really know how to keep us so engaged with all these characters you bring to life, to the point people want you to write side stories of your original characters from your fanfiction and even ship them more than the actual pairing (I haven't read BG but I’ve read all your posts here for about four years now and apparently there’s a mega dilf that everyone loves??). I believe in you and all the amazing work you deliver on your Patreon and AO3, Pen - and I’m so proud of you for all the work you’ve been so kind to give us this year.

anyway I love you, I love you, I love you.

omg so many feelings while reading this!!! Thank you so much 🥹🥹🥹 I do try very hard to keep things ‘canon feeling’ so this made my day! And I also try really hard to not character bash and to show everyone ‘good and bad’ qualities; I really do love every character so I hope it shows in the writing! 💕

and funny you mention my Patreon stuff, I think I’m going to redo everything on there soon and start over with something new because I’m not feeling that inspired by what I have going on there, the quality is lacking for me, and I think I need to start with a blank slate. Still trying to figure out how to go about this though. 🫠

(love you love you love you too❤️)