#also if we’re being technical it would be she killed himself then he killed herself

[rystiel]

he killed herself then she killed himself ❤️

[hismercytomyjustice]

!IWTV 2.07 Spoilers Below!

TW for racism, racial violence, and everything already in the episode.

These are mostly just my thoughts on Claudia and Louis and the role of age/gender/race in the trial.

The writers and actors and everyone went for the THROAT with this episode and I am HERE FOR IT.

First and foremost, this is a public lynching. Played out for an almost completely white audience. The CLOSE UPS on the mostly white audience as Claudia’s charges are read…

The farce of a trial. They didn't need to go to all this trouble to kill Claudia, Louis, and Madeline. They CHOSE to. They made it a SPECTACLE, as was often done during lynchings.

Louis referring to himself and Claudia as props instead of characters. Because the audience and the vampire "court" would have to see them as PEOPLE to consider them characters.

Lestat warping the narrative to make himself out to be the victim for a good chunk of the trial and immediately being believed and sympathized with because this poor white man has a sad.

The only defendant shown any sympathy or empathy during the trial being the sole white person, and a white woman no less. Madeleine is treated like a poor naive soul who could never have known what “horrible monsters” she was in league with. BUT SHE KNEW. She heard all about Lestat and why Claudia didn't want her to have his blood. She watched Claudia kill three people in front of her without breaking a sweat. To SAVE her.

Moreover, Madeleine is the only one they offer absolution to. Yes, she hasn’t committed any “vampire crimes,” but she’s once again given the benefit of the doubt as a white woman. She’s perceived as inherently innocent and worthy of salvation. The implication being she’s just one more person that’s been swept up in the schemes of these “villains”. While Claudia and Louis are treated as irredeemable and inherently evil. Lestat confessed to breaking the same laws they’re on trial for, but he also receives a white “get out of jail free” card.

The way Claudia, for all intents and purposes, a 14 year old Black CHILD is portrayed as a monster in addition to a “child seductress” of sorts. The implication being she bent two fully grown men to her will. WE know Claudia is technically an adult inside (and that's how she sees herself), but the projection of maturity on a non-white child to justify violence and victimization against said child is excellently and devastatingly done.

The further “justification” of Lestat’s actions because he has his maker’s/father’s temper. Yet another excuse often bandied about by abusers. Like they "can’t help themselves". Obviously the cycle of abuse is a very real thing, I don’t mean to diminish that. But seeing him actually take a moment to be like “oh, no wait, I chose to do those things, that was actually all me” was a nice touch. Doesn’t absolve him of ANYTHING he did, but at least he finally acknowledges the role he played.

Claudia, the “youngest” of the group being the only one who fights against the compulsion to defend herself. We’re told over and over again through the series she’s unstable, too emotional, etc because she was turned as a teenage girl. And yet she is the only person there with an OUNCE of maturity. AND SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE. 

She’s only that way because she became parentified while trying to save Louis from himself and from Lestat. Even now, knowing they’re all about to die in a horrific fashion, she can’t turn off the part of her that cares about Louis. That doesn’t want to see him reenter the cycle of abuse, even in his last moments. She was his protector then and now while Louis is trapped in his own head.

Louis should be the one protecting HER. She is his daughter/little sister. He is older than her. He's been a vampire longer than her. He’s the one who got her turned in the first place. Not to diminish everything he’s going through as an abuse victim among other things, but she desperately needed him and once again he couldn’t/wouldn't/didn't step up for her.

Claudia saying “Can I cry and say that I’m sorry too?” Directly calling out the weaponization of white tears. The audience is willing to sympathize with a grown white man but not with his CHILD victim. Once again a Black child (in the physical sense) being held to higher standards than a grown white man who “just couldn’t help himself.” The audience laughs at Claudia’s pain while simultaneously sympathizing with her abuser.

Despite Claudia taking Paris by storm as Baby Lulu, not a single fan of hers steps forward in her defense. Santiago even acknowledges there are fans of her show in the audience! Because she’s not their beloved Baby Lulu anymore. She’s no longer performing for the entertainment and comfort of a white audience. Because she isn’t a person to them. Great post here about how the Baby Lulu play is a minstrel performance too btw.

We’re told again and again throughout the show that Claudia was too young to be changed, too volatile and therefore doomed to go mad and perish. But she’s the sanest and strongest of the three on trial. She fights back against an entire coven trying to break her mind. She walks of her own volition even with her ruined Achilles tendons. If everything they claimed was true, we sure as hell aren’t seeing any indication of that now. Claudia has proven her mental fortitude time and time again despite misery after misery inflicted on her in her undead life.

But no one in the audience and none of the vampire “justices” will ever acknowledge this truth. Because she’s a child when it’s convenient to their narrative (playing Baby Lulu and her standing in the coven), but she’s suddenly an adult the instant she advocates for herself and is now fully accountable for her “crimes.” They refuse to admit the Claudia before them now is the one and only real Claudia.

Even at the very end, Claudia tries to protect Madeleine from the sun. She holds her. She shields her with her body. She does what NO ONE has ever done for her. What Louis SHOULD HAVE DONE FOR HER. We know the pain she suffers is agonizing. We’ve seen Louis and Madeleine’s go through it. Yet she stands there head high, holding her love, and singing the song she hated so much to the lynch mob. Because no one there is ever going to think of that song in its original context again. Instead, it’s her final act of defiance, her last chance to declare her autonomy and insist she will never be what they tried to make her.

The death scene is such a stark contrast to her first death when Louis is pleading with Lestat to save her. She was catatonic then, but here she is so devastatingly vibrant and ALIVE. And it makes it hurt so much more to see that taken from her along with her life.

Claudia is such an amazing character in this show. Bailey Bass and Delainey Hayles are such phenomenal actors. I am DEVASTATED we have reached the end of Claudia's story and this is her legacy, but at the same time I will NEVER forget this episode or their extremely nuanced performances. Do I hope they'll find a way to reincorporate Claudia into the story? Absolutely. I'd love to see more. But at the same time, if this is how she had to go, I'm glad they centered the narrative so strongly around her.

[dokidokitsuna]

Dream Alliance: Jambastion Rebirth

So yesterday I was archiving the text from all my DeviantArt posts about the DreamAll AU, and it was really fun to read through all that lore and story again. ^^ It’s unfortunate that I was working on it during my transition from DA to here; I feel like a LOT of info got lost in the confusion. But at least now I have it all in my own files to reference (or retell) later…especially if I ever get around to reviving/expanding on the AU like I’ve always wanted. There are a lot of unused scripts and ideas waiting for that day…

And since I was feeling inspired today, here’s one of ‘em. ^^ Since this was such a dark idea that I don’t really consider “canon” to the AU, I never really wrote it down or anything…but it made for such a good story that I held onto it in my heart~. Warning: LOOOOOOONG post ahead. ^^

So at the end of DreamAll’s story, Magolor and Division Six risk their lives and defeat Void Termina, yadda yadda…but once the world is finally safe from that threat, its next big question is: how can we make sure we’re safe from the teenage mad scientist with the god-killing mecha and bioengineered alien attack dogs…?

Basically, Magolor inadvertently made himself so powerful that the rest of the Dream Alliance and the world is kinda scared of him now. ^^; And as I showed in the final comic, Susie Haltmann takes it upon herself to investigate him and find out what his deal is…and in doing so, learns that he’s actually a Jambastion mage, and Hyness’ estranged son. And thus, the scheming begins~.

Mind you, Susie doesn’t really have anything against Magolor. It’s just that the pressure of essentially becoming president of the world, coupled with the revelation that Magolor is not only an eccentric genius, but also a dimension-bending dark mage that she doesn’t know how to control…it leads her to fall back on old (villainous…) habits and start to treat him like an obstacle, to be overcome by any means necessary.

And her first play would be to use the threat of Hyness’ execution to get Magolor to spill his guts: to tell the truth about his magic powers, explain in detail everything he did to create the Void Destroyer system, and get it all on the record so that he can’t lie about it anymore. Which I think Mago would agree to immediately-- he doesn’t want to see his father die (despite his literal crimes against humanity), and tbh he’d probably be kinda glad to have the weight of that deception off his shoulders. Unfortunately, he’s not worldly enough to understand that divulging all this information is the beginning of the end…

Next play: regulations. Now that the crisis is over, the Dream Alliance’s superweapons will naturally have to be decommissioned…including Magolor’s ‘angels’. Seeing as they’re technically not living things (as per Mago’s explanation) Susie would demand that he toe the line and put them down, or at least demonstrate that he’s willing and able to cut them off from his power on command.

And naturally, Magolor would think of this as going a bridge too far. Marx, Galacta, and Morpho might not have their own life force, but they’re still sentient beings who love and trust him as their creator. And if it’s a choice between betraying that trust and leaving the Dream Alliance entirely, he’s inclined to choose the latter.

And ^that is the decision Susie would be waiting for: proof that, when pushed, Magolor cannot be trusted to act in the ‘public interest’. And considering what he’s capable of, it’s now in the public interest for the Dream Alliance to find a way to contain him.

Of course, she doesn’t go after him right away-- she simply waits for him to come to her, thinking he can convince her that his angels are more than just weapons. When that fails, he resigns on the spot…unfortunately, he never actually gets the chance to leave.

Based on everything Magolor’s explained about the way his magic works…she decides her best bet is to cut off his hands, severing his connection to his vambraces and sending him into shock from blood loss all at once. Both serve to severely weaken all of his subconscious magic use, and his angels by extension-- Galacta collapses, and Morpho straight-up disintegrates. Marx is the only one able to remain conscious without his master’s direct influence, and immediately realizes that something is seriously wrong. His first instinct is to rush to find Magolor and slaughter anyone in his way…unfortunately, he discovers that he doesn’t have his flight powers anymore. Without his usual magic strength, he can hardly even move his prosthetic arms, and is easily captured when Magolor’s lab is raided.

Fortunately, Meta Knight is one of the arresting officers, and decides to take pity on Marx and “lose track of him”, letting him leave in the dead of night for parts unknown. He disappears for a couple years, skulking in the shadows, stealing food when no one’s looking, being miserable and missing all his friends.

But during all that time, he’s also preparing…he spends most of his days retraining his body to adjust to the much smaller amount of magic that he has access to, and trying to find information on the dissolution of Division Six and Magolor’s whereabouts…which proves to be pretty difficult. So eventually, when he finally gets a decent amount of fighting strength back, he decides to start his revenge plot by finding an ally: Magolor’s father, who’s still imprisoned where he’s always been.

Hyness has never met Marx before, but he remembers Magolor’s mentions of him. And besides, they both share a deep concern for Magolor and the willingness to do anything to save him. So Marx explains the situation and breaks him out, setting his plan in motion.

He realizes that Susie will have seen him through the security cameras, and will predict that he’s coming for Magolor. So he decides that his true next target will be Galacta Knight, and asks Hyness to use his powers to find and awaken him first.

After being forced to use his magic just to keep himself alive during his long imprisonment (which by this point, ended up approaching the decade mark) and having his hands removed as well, Hyness is also a lot weaker than he used to be. But he has experience on his side, and quickly adjusts by using the magic stored in his cape (basically, what I was foreshadowing back when I drew this). Together he and Marx make a fairly powerful team, forcing their way into the facility where GK is being stored, and setting him free to unleash his wrath.

^This is a decision Magolor would probably take issue with, if he were present to give his opinion on it-- he’d be against triggering GK into a psychotic break just to create a diversion, knowing all that death and destruction would weigh heavily on his conscience afterwards. But Marx, being in a desperate and angry place, doesn’t care, and figures potentially scarring his little brother is a small price to pay to get their family back together.

And while Galacta Knight is out acting as a weapon of mass destruction, Marx and Hyness manage to find and release Morpho Knight as well. Morpho has very nearly reverted back to the unresponsive energy blob that he was when Magolor first found him…but he’s at least conscious enough to follow his brothers around and help protect them occasionally. Marx leaves him with GK and follows Hyness to Magolor’s location, deep within Dream Alliance HQ.

How things go from there is a little more nebulous…I think it would probably start out as a stealth mission, which would take an unfortunately bloody turn before Magolor is finally found and revived. I think Morpho and Galacta would eventually catch up with them there and make things even bloodier. ^^; I think Susie would get into a big ‘tech vs. magic’ fight with Division Six that’s honestly been a long time coming. And I think Magolor, despite having just been awakened from a years-long medically-induced coma, would be forced to take point as the most powerful mage left in the group, and do something drastic just to put an end to the conflict and get everyone out of there. 

The aftermath would be bittersweet, and a bit ironic-- essentially, Magolor would be forced to go back to living in a secret society cut off from the rest of the world. He’d be reunited with everyone he cares about, including the father he once thought he might never see again, but he’d still have to live with the fact that the world he risked his life to save ultimately rejected him…and after all the atrocities his family committed just to get him back, the world is probably now convinced that its fears were justified. The damage is done, and irreversible…after all the effort he put in to become a hero, his short-lived dream is already dead and gone. I honestly don’t know what he would want to do with his life after that…

…Anyway, if you made it all the way here, thanks for reading~

[fulgurbugs]

OT 1 & 2 headcanons? Doesn't have to be about the main parties, whatever goes.

ok ok here we go, gonna use yours as the OT2 HC ask bestie

gonna throw up here an OT2 spoilers warning cuz of endgame stuff

First some throné ones because i have throné on the brain.

first off i think after her story is over she never wears a necklace like basically ever again. she does love dressing up, feeling cute, but no matter how well a necklace would go with her outfit she won’t add one. it’s just part of her newfound freedom that she can choose never to have anything around her neck like that ever again. all other jewelry tho… she’s got a lot of options to pick from for earrings, bracelets, and rings etc (that she’s most certainly not paid for)

also, i feel like Hikari and Throné, after everything with vide coming to the conclusion that they are actually distantly related to each other, have some kind of exchange where it’s like. “ok wait so im your like great great how many greats aunt or something” uhhh like a couple times removed or whatever. and at first its like weird to think about but they both have such like. idk. throne found out that her family was actually huge and extensive, and all of them were killing each other. her biological father is a monster. she was born to be a monster herself. her relationship with the concept of “family” is extremely strange; the man she considered closest to her actual father was a horribly abusive person but despite all that she was the closest thing he had, and he was her half-brother. Hikari’s family has a curse upon it directly related to being descended from D’arquest, and it’s been nothing but pain for him as well, causing him to lose control of himself, constantly worried he’ll hurt the people he cares about. his brother was a monster in a whole different way, and his dad, while appointing him rightful successor, spent most of his life as a warmonger as well. His mother is dead. his brother and father are dead. he’s lost ritsu, who at one point was like a brother to him. his own relationship with the idea of his family is not… good, in any case. i think they come to find some sort of solace in each other in that, after realizing they’re actually related. they’ve already come to travel with each other and trust each other… i like to think they decide they should just hand wave all the technicalities of how distantly they’re related and how weird the family tree would look and just go with a catch all “we’re cousins” or something.

Castti, while getting her memories back about what happened immediately prior to the events of the game, still struggles with remembering most of her life. it’s not something she really fully recovers from. she never remembers the faces of her parents, or if she had any siblings, her childhood, things like that. sometimes when she gets a flash of something, a glimmer of a skill she had no idea she was well-practiced in, or a remembered fact she can’t recall where she read it, she still finds herself troubled. she basically has to re-invent herself. still, she gets by with a quiet determination to always do right, with the knowledge that she at the very least, knows who she is now, in the present.

ok sillay ones….

Post game partitio starts picking up the guitar. i like to think once he gets good enough he records a song with agnea for the gramophone :P. also, temenos used to play the piano, but he’s out of practice (that one cleric in flamechurch is much better and actually wants to play it much more). he could pick it up again tho with a little practice

oh also ochette is a chronic unpeeled fruit mucher. she’ll just straight up bite into an orange and be like. “i see why some people don’t like the crust but i don’t mind it.” castti and osvald tails gets trolled face

[kate-embershield]

Warm Hands, Silver Tongues

AKA ah FUCK i had a terrible idea and got invested.

Alternate title - The MC (Kate in this instance) said Fuck It and embraces godhood.

Sabine suffers, Garnok's an ass, Kate finds out she can make deals, Khaan's about to have a very rude awakening.

Also chock full of Headcannons

13K Words of Sabine regretting everything under the cut + A little explanation

This was originally spurred on by the idea of how Weirded Out the Dark Riders would be if/when they find out the MC is connected to Aideen, and then it took off into this.

I love writing characters who fully embrace their powers and just go apeshit, and i think the MC would be a really fun character for this, especially with the way we're able to interact with the Dark Riders. I know personally i play like i'll offend them if i say something rude, so whenever i'm given the choice, ill always try to go the 'Talk it Out' route, which, in the context of this little fic, translated to Kate being terrible at Godhood. She's simply too nice and if i ever expand on this, it'll be fun to see how the rest of the Dark Riders interact with her.

Please come scream at me about your thoughts and headcannons! I have so many stupid little scenes that branch off this idea that i've already written

⚞☼⚟

“Sabine”, the General relaxed under the fingers running over her shoulders as Kate softly pushed the ebony hair out of the way. “I found the problem”, her voice betrayed her calm demeanour, strained and shaky.

“What is it?”, she turned to the Druid, scared lip scowling as the blond focused on the magic coursing through the Dark Riders body.

It was quiet for a moment, Kate intent on rooting out the problem before Sabine’s patience ran out. “There’s a tether between you and Garnok”, she started, and the General raised a brow. “Every time your magic grows-”, brilliant white light pulsed through her veins, and Sabine stiffened under the warmth, so different from the fire coursing through her body, but similar all the same, “-every time you use your power, Garnok eats away a piece of you”

“What are you saying?”

“Garnok is killing you to survive”, Blue met Amber, and Kate froze at the horrified look in the woman's eyes, “Pandoria won’t hold him for long”

“We’re dying?”, Her voice was quiet, far away, eyes unfocused as she stared at nothing.

“Garnok’s using you, and the other Dark Riders, to sustain himself while he's trapped”, the light pulling at her veins pulsed brighter, filling the room with a soft glow. “He’s killing you all just to keep himself alive”

“I guess that's why no Generals survive for long”, the Rider hummed darkly.

The air was heavy, as the two sat, stagnant silence between them. Sabine stared at her boots as Kate shifted behind her. “I might be able to help”

“How?”, her voice was low, arms resting on her knees as she leant back. “We made a pact with a God. I don't think there's any coming back from that one”, her eyes were closed, lips pulled into a thin line.

“I’m-”, Kate started, but the words caught in her throat. “The Keepers and the Druids really wish I wasn't, I know Avalon hates it especially”, She shifted, stretching her legs out along the couch, muscles strained from the uncomfortable way she had sat. “Sometimes I wish I had stayed away too, but then I guess I wouldn't have had this much fun”

“Spit it out”, Sabine growled, arm thrown over her eyes.

“I’m Aideen”, Kate draped herself over the arm of the couch as Sabine turned to her with the speed of a whip.

“What!”, she roared, bent over the Druid, amber eyes bright and fiery.

“Well technically I'm her reincarnation, but-”, Kate stammered, lips twisting into an awkward smile as she shuffled back. “-I can use a lot of her abilities, her light. I'm kind of like a boost for the other circles-”

“Your Aideen!?”

“Aideen’s Reincarnation, yes-”

“Your a god!”

“Not officially!”, She managed to squirrel her way out of the Rider’s shadow, “But if Garnok can make deals, maybe I can too”

“Your-”, Sabine eyed her warily, but a faint sparkle of hope burned in her eyes. “You want me to make a deal with you?”

“Yes”, the Druid leapt to her feet, staring up at Sabine with hope. “I'll be honest, I don't really know how it works, But I’m like 76% sure I can make deals too”

“That-”, Sabine turned away for a moment, arms crossed and foot tapping, “-Doesn't fill me with confidence”

Kate leant over the couch, resting her chin on her arms as the Dark Rider paced. “If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work, but if it does…”

“If it works, what happens to Khaan?”, Kate turned to the wide window, and the barn sitting quiet, warm glow spilling from between the slats. “He’s bonded with General Malumi, not…me”

“He might be corrupted, but he’s still a Starbreed, both of you are still bonded, I can tell”, Sabine had stopped pacing, arms still crossed, but she followed the Druid’s gaze to the barn, face neutral, but eyes betraying the sadness she felt at the thought of her loyal beast in pain. “Besides, I’m Aideen, if I can help you, I can help him”

“I thought you were just her reincarnation”

“Potato Tomato”, Kate smiled up at the woman, hand outstretched and smiling wide. “What do you say? Care to make a deal with God?”

Sabine eyed the hand warily, “What do you want in return?”

“Oh, uhh”, The offered hand lowered, arm hanging limp as she hummed. It was quiet for a moment, and then Kate turned to her with a hard-set look in her eyes. “You and I know that the Keepers will destroy Jorvik if it means killing Garnok”, the resourceful diplomat had returned, and Sabine wondered just how frightening this woman could be when she was determined. “They’ll justify it as a necessary sin, they don't care what happens to the people as long as Garnok is eradicated”, for a woman laying limply over the back of a couch, Sabine was amazed at how frightening she could look. “I won’t let them, I can’t. Not when the people of this island have no say in it. I’ve made my life here, and I’ve grown attached, and I won’t let Dark Core or the Keepers destroy the world just so the other doesn’t get their way”, Sabine eyed her curiously, starting to piece together what Kate would ask. “Help me stop Garnok, and whatever power he’s given you, whatever he's taken from you, I promise it's all yours”, Sabine eyed the woman, something curious shining in her eyes. “And I'll help Khaan. Those are my terms”

“You would have helped Khaan regardless”, The Dark Rider raised a brow, and Kate smiled.

“I would have. Mortifa and Acerbus and Jay and Katja too, if they'll let me. But now it's written in stone”, She held out her hand again, veins burning white hot as she smiled a deceptively sweet smile, as if she wasn't a God about to tie herself to her enemies most trusted General, as if Sabine wasn't about to gamble her own life for the second time.

The General took the God's hand, and the world exploded in white hot stars. It burned, like flames eating at her skin, her bone. Fire had never bothered Sabine, not when she was its master, but this, it felt like dying. A bone deep pain that ripped through everything she was, flaying her very nerves and sending blinding bolts of light through her. The point where her calloused palms met Kate’s, that hurt the most, like pure electricity racing between their palms.

Sabine screamed. Agony was barely enough to describe what she was feeling. If this was dying, she didn’t want it.

And then it stopped. Just as quick as it had started. The pain simply vanished and Sabine was left kneeling on the floor, wood biting into her palms and jaw locked shut as she struggled to breath. Faintly, she could hear someone calling her name.

“Sabine!”, the Druid was kneeling next to her, deft fingers running down her spine as the woman shook. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know it would hurt!”

The General turned to her weakly, head resting on the floor as static danced between the two. “I’m fine”, she knew the Druid didn’t believe her, if she focused enough on the little silvery thread coiled between them, she could tell that Kate was frowning, eyebrows pinched as Sabine lay still. But she couldn’t look at her, simply because she wasn’t corporal. She was hazy around the edges, eyes glowing and veins burning white, and if Sabine looked too hard, a headache would slowly start breaking her skull in two. 

Briefly, as she rolled onto her back, she remembered the pain that laced through her for weeks after she had sold her soul to Garnok. There was none of that stabbing agony here, not when the fire burning through her had died down to a warm ember. It was nice, she thought, and for the first time since Garnok, Sabine found that the wildfire that lived in her veins had calmed. It didn't eat at her skin anymore, it just…burned, like a campfire content to its bed of warm coals.

She could hear the Druid calling her name, but ignored it in favor of the sleep that came easily now.

[highlordofkrypton]

For the second prompt of Day 4 of @tamlinweek, please enjoy the small moments of Happily Ever After in Tamlin's life.

There is also a direct correlation between Tamlin's happiness and him being an idiot with his best friends. (Lookin' @ u Cassian)

Read Happy Endings on AO3 or below the cut:

The thing about ‘happily ever after’ is that is that it begs the question—after what? Happiness, in Tamlin’s opinion, is not an end. It is constantly in motion, and cyclical. It is intangible; no matter how hard he tries, he cannot capture it. Although, he has figured it out.

Happiness is not a state of mind.

Happiness lives within others.

CASSIAN

“You broke my nose, you fuck!”

Tamlin grins, a little too smug. The rules of their sparring is simple: don’t kill each other. Everything else is fair game, but Tamlin has never bothered with weapons. Not when he can shape himself into whatever he dreams of, and Nature has provided him with all the tools he needs to achieve his ends.

Today, he just wants to even the score.

“I owed you one. More than one, actually.”

Cassian makes an incoherent sound of frustration, setting the bone back in place without a complaint. “What else was I supposed to do with a big ass Spring Court invader in our war camps?”

“Rhysand invited me,” Tamlin deadpans. He’s pretty sure Cassian headbutt him all those years ago (and broke his nose) to prove a point. To think, everyone thinks Tamlin is the brute.

“Whatever, I’m not sorry.”

“Actually,” Morrigan chimes in. “May I propose literally any other way of greeting each other? Have you considered ‘hello’? I hear it’s all the rage with all other sane beings in this world.”

Both Tamlin and Cassian look at one another, they grin, two idiotic peas in a pod, before looking back at her and responding in perfect synchonicity: “Nah.”

Morrigan sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose with manicured nails. “There’s two of them. Two of them!”

As if to prove her point, Cassian turns and headbutts Tamlin in the face.

“Ack! My nose! Now we’re even.”

“No, that makes us uneven. Learn to count, you fuck!”

ELERI

The pitter-patter of light feet captures his attention. He’s curled on the lounge chair, reading one of Rhysand’s books. It’s a human fairytale that Eleri had mentioned, something about prince charmings and damsels in distress. Absent-mindedly, Tamlin twirls the ring on his finger made of Illyrian steel. It belonged to the Lady of the Night, passed down to him as Rhysand’s chosen-mate.

The pitter-patter continues, and Rhysand’s little sister pops up behind the back of the chair, regarding him with her big violet eyes. She flutters her lashes and smiles at him. “Hi, Tamlin.”

“Hello, Eleri.” He shuts the book carefully and raises a brow at her. She wants something, but with her, he can never guess what it is.

She rests her chin in her palms, admiring him. It’s strange to call her little. Yes, she is very small in stature, taking after her mother, but she is technically older than Tamlin. Most of his newfound family is.

“What?”

“I need your help.”

Without question, Tamlin gets up. “Lead the way.”

There isn’t anything Tamlin wouldn’t do for her. He’s saved her life once, and he would do it again without second thought. He doesn’t bother questioning her; the bounce in her step means that whatever she needs help with will be entertaining at the very least.

Together, they find Azriel in the House of Wind’s study, looking through the High Lord’s papers. The shadowsinger raises a brow in Tamlin’s direction, but Tamlin has only a shrug to offer him.

“Tamlin, please lift me,” Eleri demands once she plants herself before Azriel, extending her arms to give Tamlin room.

He tucks his hands beneath her armpits and raises her to eye-level to Azriel. What he witnesses is the single most hilarious berating he has ever heard in his life. Tamlin bites his lip to stifle his laughter. Apparently, she’s upset that Cassian caught wind of their date, and he keeps making kissy faces at her. Now, Rhysand is doing it too! She wasn’t the one who told them! What kind of spymaster can’t keep secrets?

Tamlin clears his throat.

“Um, we saw you both in the pastry shop. We were all having ice cream.”

The young Lady’s face burns a bright red. “I—! Mother above, Az, I’m so sorry!”

Tamlin’s laughter is a rumble as he hands the very short, very embarassed High Faerie to Azriel. “You’re very cute together. By the way, why did you need me for… this?” His voice trembles with amusement and guarded laughter. He doens’t want her to feel bad.

“The others are nosy, I trust you,” she says over her shoulder, feet dangling while Azriel holds her like a live bomb. To her crush, she yowls. “Hug me already!”

Oh, this family is ridiculous, but he loves them dearly. Most of all, Tamlin loves being a part of it.

MOTHER

“Mmmver, yr sqshng me.”

Tamlin wouldn’t trade it for the world. His face is smothered in her arms, a nice change of pace from her squishing his cheeks and crying at him.

“My baby! My little baby is getting married,” she says for the hundredth time.

He had made a point to tell her before the rest of his family. Before his father, he cannot be happy, and she cannot be free, so he tells her in the middle of her garden and her flowers that will live forever. This moment will live forever with them.

He had made a point to tell her months ago, but her mind never recovered from the loss of her second son. It’s alright, he thinks, if she can relive this happiness over and over again. He’s proud that he can be the one to make her smile like that again.

“I grew him a valley of eternal flowers, too, as my proposal.”

“Oh! You did! That’s so lovely, my sprout.”

This time he hugs her, nuzzling her hair and breathing in the scent of her yellow roses.

LUCIEN

Music is a language spoken through the heart, and the body. It speaks only of truths—harsh ones, sweet ones and the ones that they try to keep secret.

Music from Andras is a massacre. His voice has not improved over the years, sounding more and more like an offended cat every day. Tamlin tries to strum louder, or provide a healing rhythm for their ears while Lucien stokes the fire. Its crackling soothes, a baseline for whenever the singing comes to a lull.

“Why don’t you ever sing, Luce? Do you play an instrument?”

“Has anyone lived to tell the tale of a siren’s song?”

Andras looks unimpressed. “You’re telling me your singing is that good?”

Tamlin snorts. “Idiot.”

The clearing by the forest holds memories of pain and desperation, of many attempts to lure Tamlin out of his anger. Together, they have reclaimed this space. Here is a place where happiness lives.

ANDRAS

“It’s happening!”

The door to Tamlin’s map room slams against the wall as its virtually punched open. Lucien startles beside him, far too deep in his strategizing, not having hear the silver storm barreling down the hallway.

“Already? Time flies,” Tamlin hums getting to his feet. Today, he promised he will be picture perfect calm.

“Wait, what’s happening?” Lucien blinks, giving his tired brain a moment to shift gears. He jumps up with a gasp. “It’s happening.” He turns to Tamlin, grabbing him by the shirt to shake him. “It’s happening!”

“Yes, remember the plan? Cool, calm and collected?”

Lucien clears his throat. “Yes, yes, very calm. Bastion of support for the new parents.”

Despite this, the three of them winnow to Andras’ home and within seconds they are by Ailsa’s side. They crowd the healer who jabs at them with her carved wooden cane.

“Really, An? You couldn’t go a day without tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb.” Ailsa teases and tosses her head back against the headboard, her brow lined with sweat and hair sticking to her forehead.

“Watch it, I can still claim your child as this year’s Tithe,” Tamlin teases. The glare she shoots at him can tear down mountains, and he recieves another jab for stressing out a mother in labor. “Sorry, sorry!”

“What happened to cool, calm and collected?” Lucien hisses.

“It was too easy.”

On one side, Andras holds his wife’s hand and caresses her head, soothing her however he can. Lucien takes her other hand, bearing through the crushing squeeze. Ailsa is more than Andras’ wife; she’s a member of their little group, except her tolerance for their nonsense is much lower than her husband’s. Andras’ also worries that the more she sees the side of him when he’s with his friends, the more she’ll reconsider her choice in partners.

Tamlin helps the healer, acting not as the High Lord, but as the only student of the greatest healer the Spring Court has ever seen. “Do you still have the potentillas petals I gave you?”

“Yes, my lord. I have kept them safe for when you need them.”

The flowers are rare, and he’s unsurprised to hear that the healer has not used them yet. “Now would be a good time.” He says calmly, and takes them to brew Ailsa a cup to soothe her pain.

The birth of a child is not easy, and Tamlin remains at Ailsa’s beck and call. It takes hours, and none of them sleep.

When the cries of a baby rings out through the burrow, relief washes over all of them. They each get a turn holding her, after the parents, of course, and when Tamlin finally gets his hands on that bundle of joy, he cannot help the tears that escape him.

“It’s a baby, a baby,” he says to none—he says to everyone. “I love her.”

“You realize you have to give her back at some point, right?” Ailsa reminds him.

“Oh, Cauldron, he’s never going to leave, is he?” Andras sighs, but the smile on his face never fades.

RHYSAND

There is no word for Rhysand.

He is just Rhysand.

No memory,

No gesture,

No titles,

No one thing that can qualify the what he means to Tamlin.

The things that he has done for a boy in need, for an enemy in the wrong place, defy anything as simple as happiness, as vague as perfection.

He is the home that Tamlin returns to, the understanding that he needs.

He is the gentle touch that soothes a vicious, wounded animal—a quiet that brings peace to a storming mind.

He is the bar against which everything is measured.

Would the Mother sacrifice her soul for him? Would she abandon her morals in the name of protecting him? Would the Cauldron grant his every wish? Would it defy its own laws if only to comfort him?

No, they would do none of those things.

There is no word for Rhysand.

He is just Rhysand.

[sprouts-xreader-stories]

“Throw The Bitches, Keep The Cash.”

Requested : Yes (“ari and aria going out on a girls day!!”; requested by @/drxgonspine)

Genre : Fluff, Platonic, OC X OC - Ari (created by @/drxgonspine) X Aria (created by @/sleepdeprivedsprout)

POV : Third Person Semi-Omniscient

Warnings : Minor allusions to drinking. Oh, and, uh… Sex joke. Cursing. Fourth wall breakages by narrator (AKA me). Technically poking fun at religion? I dunno if it counts.

Added Notes : Mentions of a friend’s oc! Blake (created by @/parker-vaporwave).Mentions of ElectroSwing (Aria X Blue) and Caesium (Pico X Ari). Also the names made this a little hard to write hfisndj 💀 I did it though! Also also. This is. This. This is very. VERY LONG. Random Russian and Spanish have been thrown in here because of Aria. She speaks both. So. Yeah.

Each little step down the street was another moment wasted on their night. Their little conversation night at her bar, by themselves for once. Blake was God knows where, Nene was busy on a mission, and Cassandra… Well, Cassandra was Cassandra. Nobody ever knew where it was.

And Cher had been cut from their circle after that happened.

Which left the day to the Name Twins. As their little group called them, anyway.

Ari pulled her jacket a little tighter around himself. “Why’s Philly gotta be so cold during the fall?” She spat, moving a bit faster. The clock was ticking. The demon would be going into hibernation soon. Which meant no Aria for three months.

“ID?” A voice called out. Ari looked up. He’d missed the turn. And almost walked into a random club. She could vaguely hear Blue’s music thumping through the speakers. “Huh? Wh- No, I’m not going in here,” she backed up, “I- I missed my turn. Uh… Where’s…?”

He looked behind him. The neon lights were almost too bright, but she could vaguely make out the familiar red and white tapestry that hung above the bar’s door. “Sorry, sir,” Ari murmured and turned back around. The bouncer just nodded and leaned back against the wall once more.

“Welcome to Drago-… Oh, it’s you,” Aria’s voice was soft. The demon sat up from her position, brightening a little at the sight of her friend. “You doing okay?” “Yeah, I’m alright. And… You?” Ari pulled himself into a barstool. Aria shrugged, cleaning off a random glass. “Eh. Could be better, could be worse, да?” She turned around and put the cup away.

“Tail’s around your waist. What’s going on?” Ari leaned forward. She could tell. He’d picked up on little things that even Blue hadn’t yet. Like how Aria’s tail would wrap around her leg or her waist whenever she was teetering on the edge of a brain cloud of sadness. “Vete a la mierda, cosa estúpida,” she hissed, slightly at herself, before forcing her tail away from her body. “It’s nothing, I swear.”

“Bullshit, miss demon,” Ari stated. “I’ve known you for… What, two, three months? Our friendship might not have been long so far, but I already know more than Blue. And he’s nearly been with you for a year.” She leaned back, a skeptical look on his face. Aria just sighed. “Fine, fine. Blue’s going on tour. Again. And can’t take me with him. Excuse this time was that I’d be hibernating through it and there’d be no point.”

She sighed before continuing. “And, like, I get it, but at the same time… I-” “Nope! I’ve heard enough,” Ari hopped out of the barstool and went behind the wooden surface, throwing an arm around the demon’s shoulders. “We’re going out. Fuck him for now — not like that. Don’t start it.”

And before Aria could protest, Ari had dragged her out of the building.

“Wh- Ari, wait, I gotta close down the bar! Plus, I have double shift! My boss would kill me if he found out I skipped to-” “Shut it. You told me yourself once. ‘У каждого облака есть серебряная подкладка’, or something like that,” Ari waved a dismissive hand, continuing down the street with Aria in tow.

People stared. It was weird, to them, seeing a panicking demon still in work uniform being dragged down the street by a random teen.

To them, this was an average Friday-

“Whatcha want.” “Huh-?” “McDonald’s. What do ya want.” Aria froze. She didn’t-… Wasn’t ready for this. “Uh… I- Not hungry-” “Too bad, we’re eating something so we have energy to burn. Pick something before I throw a box of nuggets at you.” Ari kept her arms crossed, watching as Aria fumbled with her phone to pull up the menu and avoid eye contact.

“…j-just-…uh…j-…just the fucking hash browns, I dunno-” she finally managed to sputter. “Alright, that works! So, now, if you’ll excuse me…”

Roughly 5 minutes later — and by that, I mean, like, 15, but c’mon now — they had their things. Ari walked down the street, eating his ice cream, while Aria went along behind her. Muttering incoherent phrases to herself, nibbling at the food item Ari had gotten for her so she didn’t have to.

“Mall? We could go thrifting…” Ari suggested. He snickered, “or, knowing the demon stereotypes, we could go fuck around and scare the Christian moms.” Aria rolled her eyes and stuffed the last of her hash brown into her mouth before throwing the wrapper away. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s just see what we can do.”

They’d spent 3 hours in that mall. Just doing random shit.

“Dammit, that was fun…” Aria groaned and stretched. For how much time they took, they hadn’t gotten much. Just a few random plushies and two outfits each. “Yeah. Imagine if we had everyone else,” Ari quipped back with a sigh. “We’d get kicked out for a noise complaint, probably.”

Ari paused. “My place? Pico’s out for the night. You can stay over if you’re still mad at Blue, y’know,” she suggested. Aria gave a small nod. “Yeah… Thanks.”

@drxgonspine , @parker-vaporwave-alt

[qzwrites]

Ayla’s Side part 3

Two years after the shipwreck, Mara and Nic got married. Ayla wondered how obvious it was to everyone else that Nic was humoring Mara. After all, it wasn't like anything changed after the wedding. They'd been living together since the shipwreck, and having sex since they got back from the church's prison island. But it was a good excuse for a party, and Mara was excited about being married. Danny and Chiamaka worked for weeks to make fancy suits for Nic and Mara, and Nan bullied Ayla into letting her make Ayla a new dress.

Ayla was not especially surprised to find Nic drawing up expansion plans for their house shortly thereafter. Not for the common room they'd discussed when ze first built Ayla's room, but for a nursery attached to zeir and Mara's bedroom.

"Something I should know?" she asked, startling zem.

Nic spun around on zeir stool to face Ayla, blushing. "No," ze said. "I mean, not yet. That is, we haven't talked about it, but...Mara obviously wants kids."

That was true. Some of the traders who brought the village things like fabric in exchange for the products of the mine and village sailed around with their whole families in a sort of flotilla, a traveling marketplace, and Mara had immediately attached himself to the gang of children and their minders. The traders had been delighted to have a non-family adult to look after their kids while they were in port, and Mara had shamelessly used his powers to entertain them. The trader kids found it endlessly entertaining to watch Mara chop down trees without an axe and turn stones to powder in mid-air. He let them crawl all over him, and walked around more than once each visit with three or four kids literally hanging off him.

Possibly because he was technically younger than some of the children, and had asked the questions himself recently, Mara was very good at explaining things to them. He taught one of the kids how to do fire magic, which Ayla had never seen Mara use outside of his little spark trick, and which the child's family had been astonished by, because they hadn't realized any of their kids had magical talent.

(Mara had stared at the gathered adults, then pointed out several of them who he said also had magical potential, and asked if they wanted him to teach them as well.)

The week after the seafaring marketplace left, Mara went around asking everyone in the village questions about when their parents had them and how many children were with them in the villages they grew up in. It was, in fact, obvious he wanted children.

"Do you want kids?" Ayla asked Nic.

"He was so cute with them," Nic said, blushing deeper. "And if we want this village to survive, we've got to start having kids. We're the only couple out of the survivors, so it makes sense for us to start."

"Don't have kids for the good of the village," Ayla said, frowning. "If you don't want them, I'm sure Mara would be just as happy being a nosy uncle."

Nic laughed, and said, "I don't think there's any way to avoid that. As soon as anyone else has children, he's going to be spoiling them rotten. But..." Ze rubbed the back of zeir neck and failed to meet Ayla's eyes. "You know, one reason I never bothered to tell my parents I didn't especially want to be a girl is that I did always want children. I didn't want them to think they wouldn't have grandchildren."

That didn't actually make much sense, but Ayla knew Nic's parents had been killed years before her own village was raided. Nic wouldn't have been that old. Ayla did the math once, and Nic had been around fifteen when zeir parents died. Ayla knew she hadn't exactly been good at articulating herself to her family at fifteen. She hadn't been able to get them to believe she was never going to be interested in sex until she was eighteen. Before that, they all insisted she was still too young, she hadn't met the right person, she would change her mind, and so on. The grandchildren thing had certainly been part of it for them.

"Okay, good," Ayla said. "I didn't really want to try and figure out a way to kick Mara's ass if he was pressuring you."

Nic laughed. "Ayla," ze said, "if he thought you had a point, he'd just let you."

"Ugh, he would," Ayla said, and rolled her eyes. "It is disgusting how much he loves you. Hey, Chiamaka'll be thrilled she finally gets to show off her midwife training."

"Oh, I forgot about that," Nic said. "That is good. Especially since Mara's magical prodigy status doesn't extend to healing magic."

"We should probably start making baby clothes and collecting rags for diapers," Ayla said. "Real diaper linen would be best, obviously, but I haven't seen any in the ships that have come by. Of course, I wasn't looking."

"Oh, babies do make way more mess than adults, or even bigger kids," Nic said. Ze pursed zeir lips and frowned. "I wish we could get a hold of some flax or hemp seed."

"That's still a lot of processing work," Ayla said. "Although, I bet Mara wouldn't mind the breaking or scutching."

"Yeah, I don't think he could help with weaving or spinning, but beating grass until it's fiber is right up his alley," Nic said. Ze drummed zeir fingers on the desktop. "Isn't hemp basically a weed? Why haven't we found any?"

"The Arizedoans used to burn flax fields," Ayla said. "Maybe they burned hemp too."

"Still," Nic said, "you'd think some would have survived."

"We should ask the next traders who come through," Ayla said. "Being able to make our own fabric and better rope would be very helpful."

Nic frowned. "You know," ze said slowly, "I think I've heard about people making fabric from nettles. There's plenty of those in the marshy parts of the forest."

"Is that safe?" Ayla asked.

"The stingy parts should only be on the outside of the plant," Nic said. "I'm sure once you're retting it, it's just like linen or hemp."

That made sense. Plenty of plants with spiny stalks were edible, after all. "We could probably get Mara to gather some," Ayla said. "I'm sure he can just decide not to get stung."

"I bet he can," Nic said. "Awful."

"Terrible," Ayla agreed. "How could you marry such a monster?"

"I have it on good authority that I need supervision," Nic said, and Ayla laughed.

*

Ayla was laying mostly on top of Mara with her head on his chest, his arms wrapped solidly around her waist, when the door swung open and Nic walked in. Ayla stiffened and tried to jerk out of Mara's arms, but he held her fast.

Nic didn't appear to notice. Ze kicked off zeir boots and wrung out zeir hair over the rag rug, then tromped across the room to the bed.

"Everything go okay?" Mara asked, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Like he had not even the slightest qualm about his spouse finding him naked and holding another person in their bed.

"Technically," Nic said with a shrug. "Could've gone better, but it could've gone worse, too. Ayla," ze said, proving that ze had not somehow failed to notice Ayla sprawled across zeir husband, "do you mind if I take the rest of my clothes off? I don't want to get the bed wet."

"It's your bed," Ayla said.

"You're in it right now," Nic said, already pulling off zeir shirt. "Seems like it's relevant to you."

Ayla didn't know what to say to that.

Nic shimmied out of zeir damp trousers, then crawled under the quilt without throwing it back and exposing Ayla and Mara to the chill air. "Oh," ze said, brushing against Ayla's back. Zeir hand was cold. "You're warm." Ze pressed up against Ayla's side, wrapping an arm around her waist, clasping Mara's forearm where they met.

Ayla asked, "You're not at all bothered by me being naked in Mara's arms?"

"Should I be?" Nic asked. "I mean, it's not like you're a stranger."

Ayla huffed. Again, she felt that mix of reassurance and resentment. No, obviously her being naked in Mara's arms with her face on his bare chest didn't mean she was going to have sex with him. She wouldn't do that to either of them even if she was any more interested in sex now than she had been at the height of puberty. Still, the automatic dismissal of the possibility rankled.

"I told you there's always a place for you in our bed," Mara said. "However you want it."

Ayla flushed. She knew he didn't mean that the way it sounded, but it still sounded pretty nice. Not to do, but to have the option. She wished she could believe him.

"Oh," Nic said, sounding embarrassed. So ze heard it, too. Then ze said, "Yeah, of course," and kissed the back of Ayla's shoulder. Ayla's flush deepened, because she knew Nic did know what ze was offering. Did ze realize they weren't on the same page with this? Ze said, "I just assumed you wanted that sweet skin-to-skin cuddling."

"I did," Ayla said. "I just...it wouldn't be weird for you to be upset. Coming home and finding your husband naked in bed with someone else."

"Again," Nic said, "you're not a stranger. You're our best friend. Even if you wanted to seduce Mara, I don't think you'd feel the need to steal him."

Ayla hid her face in Mara's chest. He chuckled. Maybe he did know what it sounded like, after all.

Nic snuggled closer against Ayla's back, pressing against her so ze could stretch over to get a kiss from Mara. "This is nice," ze said, settling back down. "Have you done this before?"

"Yeah," Mara said.

"Mm," Nic said. "Good. I'm too busy to give Mara all the cuddles he wants."

"If we let him hang off one of us around the clock, he still wouldn't have as much cuddles as he wants," Ayla said, making them both laugh.

"Indiyit didn't know it," Mara said, "but the point of a physical form is to get hugs."

"You are going to be the most overbearing dad," Ayla muttered.

"Honestly part of why I figured we'd be having more than one," Nic said. "He can't smother multiple children at once."

"Don't count on it," Ayla muttered.

"Hey," Mara said. "I'll have to leave the kids alone sometimes. For instance, when I drag one or both of you to bed."

"Don't say it like that," Ayla said, flushing again.

Mara stroked her back. "Don't worry," he murmured, "I'll only drag you to bed for things you want to be dragged to bed for."

"I wasn't worried," Ayla said. A little confused, perhaps, but not worried. Mara hadn't so much as brought up the idea of kissing her since Ayla said she would think about it, and it had been months now. He always asked if Ayla wanted skin contact before he took off any of his clothes. She wouldn't be so confused if he wasn't so considerate. If Ayla thought there was even the slightest possibility of Mara copping a feel, she wouldn't want to do this. But she was secure in the knowledge that he wouldn't do anything without checking first that it was okay with her, which made it much harder to understand why she got so flustered when one of them implied Ayla was in the same category as Nic. She wasn't. She knew that. Nic and Mara were married, were trying to have a baby, and Ayla was just their friend. Their best friend, but still, that was different from a spouse.

"Good," Nic said. Ze took a deep, contented breath, and snuggled in yet closer, draping zeir legs over Ayla's so ze could be against both Mara and Ayla's sides. "This is really nice."

*

Nic didn't actually get a nursery built before ze got pregnant. At least, not one for them. Nan found out she was pregnant shortly after Nic and Mara started trying, and when she decided to keep it, Nic spent all zeir free time trying to make everything Nan might possibly need as a single mother. Even after ze was pregnant as well, Nic devoted far more time to setting things up for Nan than for zemself.

"She doesn't have anyone to help her," Nic said, sitting on the ground with a bucket, weaving bark strips into a sturdy, baby-sized basket. "I've got Mara and you."

"Oh, you just assume I'm going to be helping you?" Ayla joked. She pulled a bark strip out of the bucket and put in another dry one.

Nic rolled zeir eyes, smiling. "Like you could let Mara out-busybody you," ze said.

Which was rude as well as entirely fair.

By the time Nic was heavily pregnant, ze was complaining almost non-stop. Not outside, but around the house where only Ayla and Mara could hear zem. Not that ze didn't also complain when ze was outside the house, but ze was quieter about it, and held in some of the annoyances. Ayla was one of the privileged few to hear Nic whine about every single aspect of pregnancy, from the way zeir feet hurt to the way ze always had to pee, to the way zeir boobs doubled in size and were sore for months on end.

Ayla had to take Mara aside about seven months in and tell him to stop fussing so much. "I know ze's not usually like this," Ayla said, "but you need to pretend Nic is me for the next couple months." Mara frowned, and Ayla hurried to add, "Ze just needs to complain. You're not going to solve all zeir problems when the problem is 'existing while pregnant'."

"But it's partially my fault," Mara said, looking wretched.

Sometimes Ayla wished Mara hadn't murdered his High Priest/father figure, because it would be so fucking funny for Indiyit to see the avatar of his god looking miserable about not being able to make his pregnant spouse feel better. Ayla put her hands on Mara's biceps, because she couldn't comfortably reach his shoulders without going up on her toes or being right up against his chest. "Mara," she said. "Nic had a good idea what this was going to be like. Ze wanted to do this. Sure, now ze knows it was a mistake, but that doesn't make it less zeir decision. But you're going to have to learn to let people cry it out sooner or later, because you've got a baby on the way. Sometimes folks just need to bitch."

Mara continued to frown. "Chiamaka said it would help if I took care of zem as much as possible," he said.

"Taking care of is different from fussing," Ayla said. "Bringing zem water or rubbing zeir feet is taking care of zem. Dropping whatever you're doing whenever ze makes a noise is fussing. It's not like you can piss for zem."

Mara pouted.

Ayla patted his arm. "I know," she said. "I know it's hard when ze's miserable. But running yourself ragged doesn't help zem. You've gotta take care of yourself, too, because when this baby comes, Nic's going to be out of it for a few days at least. The baby's going to need a parent who isn't completely exhausted."

"That's true," Mara said, although he was still kind of pouting.

"Go get some water from the pump and the tin tub so ze can soak zeir feet if ze wants," Ayla said. "I'll see if we have any more of that juice ze likes in the cold chest. Do nice things, but let zem complain."

"Okay," Mara said. As always, he looked calmer now that he had instructions. Well, instructions he trusted; he didn't exactly look calm when anyone other than her or Nic tried to tell him what to do. He bent down and kissed her forehead. "Thanks, Ayla."

*

Kissing was nice. Chaste, close-mouthed kisses like the ones her parents used to give her were pleasant, which Ayla had already known. She liked it when Nic or Mara kissed her cheek or her forehead. She didn't mind it when Nan or Danny did it, either; although Ayla's friends in her first village had not really done it, it didn't seem like something that would lead to misunderstandings about the nature of their relationship. Ayla rarely initiated it, but she rather liked going in for a hug and coming away with a kiss on the cheek as well.

So it was not surprising that Mara kissing her like that, but on her lips, was also pleasant. The way Mara cradled her head in his hands to do so, like Ayla was something precious, was also nice, although she felt a little guilty about enjoying it. That felt like it was veering into territory that really ought to be reserved for Nic, even if Nic and Mara seemed to disagree.

Ayla was a little surprised to like the way open-mouthed kissing felt. She had much more sympathy for Mara's apparent reluctance to go without it. Their lips moving against each other, their breaths mingling, was intoxicatingly intimate. It made Ayla feel like she was cracked open.

The first time they tried it, she pulled away after only a few moments, and rolled over so her back was to Mara.

"No good?" Mara asked, snuggling into her back.

Ayla shook her head. Too good, she thought but did not say. Even if Mara was sure Nic wouldn't mind, even if they both assured Ayla she was welcome in their bed, they wouldn't think that if they knew how much Ayla wanted it. She couldn't believe this was how everyone felt about their friends, even their best friends. She must be crossing some line, enjoying this the way she did.

But she was only human, and sometimes she thought: if they didn't know, it wouldn't hurt them. So Ayla did sometimes give in to her desire to feel wanted and important, and kissed Mara. Not often, not as much as she wanted to now that she knew how nice it was, but more often than she knew she should.

*

"Ayla," Nic said, a few days after Hari was born. Ze didn't look quite so worn out anymore, but ze was still a far cry from the bright-eyed, enthusiastic tinkerer Ayla was used to. Ze was also still wearing a skirt, which Ayla had expected zem to ditch as soon as possible, because ze only gave in and wore them when zeir trousers would no longer stay up. Nic sighed and said, "I have an embarrassing favor to ask you."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," Ayla said, putting aside her yarn. The crochet wasn't going that well anyway; she wished hadn't completely pulled apart the little demonstration square the old lady had shown her in order to reuse the yarn.

"It's pretty bad," ze said. Ze fidgeted, shifting zeir weight from side to side. "I'd ask Mara to do it, but he just got Hari to sleep, and they're both conked out."

"So it's a toilet thing," Ayla guessed. Nic flushed. Ayla rolled her eyes and said, "Nic, you just gave birth, only a jerk would expect everything to be hunky-dory down there."

"Okay, yeah," Nic said, although ze still blushed a bit. "I have to poop and I'm going to need help cleaning up."

"Was that so hard?" Ayla asked. She got to her feet. "Look, all we have to do is give Mara food poisoning or something that gives him the runs, and then I will have cleaned up poop of all three members of your family."

Nic laughed, covering zeir face with one hand. "Ayla!" ze choked out.

"Well you couldn't do it right now, you just had a baby," Ayla said. She grabbed Nic's elbow and looped her arm through it. Ze still looked a little shaky on zeir feet, even before Ayla made zem laugh.

"Thank you," ze said, leaning against Ayla's shoulder.

"Of course," Ayla said.

Thankfully, Nic had thought far enough ahead when ze expanded the toilets that one of them had enough room for an additional person or two. Ze'd been thinking about children who were old enough to be toilet-trained, but not necessarily old enough to go to the toilet unsupervised, but it meant there was room for Ayla to come in to the stall with zem.

Ayla loved Hari, and babies in general, but childbirth itself was an abomination. At least Nic hadn't needed anyone to reach inside zem and tug Hari out, the way sheep sometimes did. Of course, a ewe didn't curse when you helped them clean up after a poop, which they asked you to do.

"There's got to be a better way to do this," Ayla muttered. Nic was sore enough that ze couldn't really bend or stretch properly to wipe zemself clean, and tender enough that ze hissed and flinched every time Ayla tried to do it for zem. Her current method was to wring water out of a rag so it would drip down to the right place, and then dab that away with a second damp rag. That minimized the friction that Nic was so sensitive about, but it was kind of slow and laborious. Especially since this had been the first bowel movement Nic had since Hari's birth, and was therefore extra messy.

"You and Chiamaka figure something out, and I'll draw up plans," Nic said, from between clenched teeth. "I can't just hop in the bath every time I have to...." Ze trailed off.

"If you try to run off to find paper right now I will break your legs," Ayla said.

Nic snorted. "I'm not likely to forget this idea," ze said.

"Hmph," Ayla said. To take both their minds off the fact she was still working on cleaning Nic's ass, Ayla asked, "Did Nan have this problem? Chiamaka said some tearing was normal, but she didn't ask me for any help."

"She didn't have as much tearing," Nic said, because of course ze had compared notes with Nan, "but she still had Chiamaka and Danny help her the first couple days. I mean, she also didn't have my problem with constipation."

"Oh, right," Ayla said. Nan had spent the better part of her pregnancy with everything running right through her. Eli made a joke at dinner one evening about having Nan test out the diaper linen they had tracked down, and Nan had started crying right there. Mara had cheerfully thanked Eli for volunteering to make sure Nan had clean bed linens until the baby came. "Okay," she said, "I think we got it all. Let's go wash our hands."

"I don't know if I should hope I don't need to go again any time soon or not," Nic muttered. Ze let zeir skirt fall back down. "Thank you," ze said, shaking the skirt so it would fall right.

Ayla shrugged. "I would say 'any time', but I would honestly prefer to let this be an 'only when you're sick or hurt' kind of thing," she said.

Nic laughed. "Well, so would I," ze said. "So I think that can be arranged."

[fourthfolio]

I wrote a whole bunch (under the cut) and then I actually pulled out the text, so here’s the second, cleaner draft.

Personally, I think he definitely is not trying to make a jump for her 20k pounds, not even as a way to donate that money to God’s works in order to claim a better place in heaven. First of all, I don’t think he entertains the idea of marrying her and bringing her on his mission until she displays this disregard for material gain (and also because she vehemently removes herself from the pursuit of marriage, which I think to him means he wouldn’t be stealing her from a marital life if she comes on his mission.) Second, he says 

you cannot form a notion of the importance twenty thousand pounds would give you; of the place it would enable you to take in society; of the prospects it would open to you (ch35)

He cares about status, and below the cut I talk more about how his piety is really just a status race for him to get an ever higher place in heaven. But here he isn’t thinking about the hierarchy of heaven, for Jane or himself; he’s thinking about ‘society’ in the here and now.

When she says she wants family more than money, he very clearly suggests these 20 thousand pounds would allow her to marry well, have children, and build a family that way. It’s exactly the life St John could have with Miss Oliver but he gives up because it goes against his ambitions.

Even when he proposes to her later, I don’t think he would ever have given her children; not while on missionary work; not when it’s so dangerous and he basically expects to die out there. So the fact he suggests marriage here, to me, signals he has no designs on the money. Besides, he’d only be cheating his own sisters. If he had twenty thousand pounds all to himself, I’m sure he would have provided for them as a duty anyway.

St John says he sees the “justice” in splitting their uncles money, but “it is contrary to custom.” Jane cares more about justice (and fraternity) than custom and maybe we’re being shown that St John accepts custom more easily than fighting for justice. But custom could also mean that it goes against the legalese of the will or general inheritance laws at the time. Jane even says that she has to go to court and that her “task was a very hard one” just to undergo the legal battle to distribute the legacy the way she wants. She can’t just write a check. It’s hugely subversive what she does.

Mostly I don’t think he’s trying to dissuade her but he wants to know she is being serious and fully informed before he expects anything. She’s pretty emotional (I mean she just learned they were all her cousins and she’s understandably euphoric) and her meaning isn’t even clear at first. Would you tell your sisters to quit their jobs and travel home the same night someone said “I’ll give you a fortune” or would you wait for your benefactor to be sure and for all the kinks to be ironed out? Plus, he accepts Jane as his sister right then and there. It’s kind of stunted and rationalized, but it’s also the most sincere and disinterested affection I think he ever shows. He doesn’t argue any more about her inheritance following the scene.

I have always thought his surprise and push back belies that he would not have done the same in her shoes. However, technically, Jane writes that the Rivers must “have been innately conscious that in my place they would have done precisely what I wished to do.” Maybe she's being an unreliable narrator there, or maybe I’m just speaking over the text.

I took it as one of the strongest demonstrations of how mercenary he actually is, save for God. Not for himself as her husband in this life, but the hereafter. He doesn’t understand natural generosity like Jane’s that springs from the soul. If he wasn’t as devout (and he clearly thinks Jane’s devotion is wanting), he wouldn’t behave the way Jane does and he tells on himself.

It’s sort of like when religious people ask atheists what’s stopping them from stealing and killing and you wonder, “Is god’s wrath the only thing stopping you?? Is that secretly what you want to do?”

He’s plenty generous, but only in God’s name. He’s plenty temperate, but only because he expects God’s bigger, better bounty in the afterlife. He admits his avarice: “my ambition is unlimited; my desire to rise higher, to do more than others, insatiable.” He’s playing a long game within the patriarchal hierarchy of Christianity hoping he will essentially win the bigger pay day in Heaven and be exulted more than the plebs with a higher position in heaven. I mean he’s already a ‘saint.’ And he already uses his faith to domineer over his family. Jane venerates him but she also says that he is over-powering and intimidating. He doesn’t understand true altruism that isn’t sourced from the power play of punishment/reward in Heaven.

Jane Eyre is constantly bucking against the paradox of heavenly retribution met with God’s unending grace and mercy. I find St. John very similar to Mr. Brocklehurst, except St. John was just smarter. In my view, it boils down to Brönte exploring how the patriarchy has bastardized Christianity, particularly through an afterlife ranking order. Even Dante questioned this paradox couple hundred years earlier.

In St. John’s case he may think he’s clear of fearing hell, but he's still 'climbing the ladder' of heaven, needing to rise higher. And he literally hastens his death because this life is the grind and death is the promotion. The book ends on that! I mean it’s kinda sick. He can’t just honor God by living a good life and being happy with the woman he loves, like Jane does with you, OP. [”Must I relinquish] the hope of heaven for the fear of hell?...It is dearer than the blood in my veins. It is what I have to look forward to and to live for.” ( ರロರ) And you could argue that St. John is a bit sacrilegious to disrespect his own life like that. Maybe that’s just me. Jane doesn’t see it like that and St John clearly feels secure in the promise of his heavenly rewards.

The Brönte sisters probably talked a lot about the issues of reward and retribution in the Bible, because Anne wrote about how suffering in an eternity of hell didn’t seem right and couldn’t be right and that despite what the church said it didn’t fit into her beliefs. (Just looked it up, it was called Universal Salvation. Copy of her letter here.) It’s a huge theme regarding Huntington’s death in Tenant of Wildfell Hall.

Did St. John attempt to dissuade Jane from sharing her inheritance with her cousins out of moral righteousness, or was he hoping to marry her and claim all twenty thousand pounds for himself (for God, yeah sure)?

[bughat]

More Jinx Thoughts

(This is a big ol’ mess, but I just wanted to get it out of my head) Jinx isn't stupid.

This might be an odd thing to say, but Jinx not being portrayed as a delusional dimbulb in spite of or because of her mental health issues and trauma is one of my favorite things about how she's written.  Something that I think is really difficult for the audience to reconcile within the plot is Jinx's obvious guilt over her part in what happened to her family and her decision to ally herself with Silco.  And I'm glad the writers didn't try to play that off as some degree of ignorance or blind devotion on Jinx's part.   Jinx isn't stupid.  She knows Silco played a role in killing her family.  But so did Jinx.  Ultimately, in her mind, she's the one that killed them.  She and Silco are, in a sense, complicit in that.  It's part of what ties them together and part of what Jinx is projecting onto Silco.  It's often talked about how Silco projects himself onto Jinx, but not as much vice versa.

Part of why he's a "safe" option for her is not just that he projects his relationship with Vander onto Jinx and Vi, but he's also not going to turn away from her because of what her bomb did.  Even if she could’ve gone back to the Lanes for help or stayed with Vi, virtually anyone else she knew was obviously going to have feelings about her involvement in Vander and her brothers’ deaths. Much of the violence of Jinx's reaction to Vi's rejection of her stemmed from deep-seated fear that she was deserving of that rejection because of the enormity of what she'd done.  Furthermore, Vi, more than anyone else in her life, was her only permanent anchor, her only constant that'd stayed with her through each of the major stages of her life.  Jinx was never permitted to grow up without each new life stage being marked by traumatic pain, loss, and upheaval.   But Vi was always still there.  When Jinx screams “I NEED you!” she is trying to stop both her sister and the only sense of permanence and stability in her life from leaving. Jinx is angry at Vi for rejecting her because she is angry at herself for doing something so terrible that even Vi would stop loving her and leave her behind.  

She found newer acceptance and encouragement in Silco, and I personally theorize that she also transferred a lot of the negative feelings she might've still held for him over Vander and the boys onto Sevika.  Kids are funny in how they assign blame, especially when there's one person in the equation whose regard they're desperate not to lose.  Silco set up and stabbed Vander, but Jinx was the one that collapsed the building, and Sevika technically betrayed him. She couldn't let herself get too mad at Silco - he was her replacement for Vi, she needed him - but she could absolutely be as angry at Sevika as she wanted.

That's another major part of how she's written.  Jinx isn't stupid and she's VERY angry.  Angry at herself, angry at Vi, at Silco, at everything and everyone.  She leans into her anger, uses it to propel herself through life, takes solace in it.  If she can be angry then she doesn't have to feel guilty or sad or be angry at herself instead.  She leans into the IDEA of Jinx.  

The persona of Jinx runs on anger and enjoys violence and chaos.  Jinx wouldn't feel sorry for hurting others, wouldn't have soft spots or vulnerable emotions, none of the painful weaknesses that Powder has.  Jinx is loyal only to Silco and doesn't have friends so she doesn't have to feel bad about fighting Ekko or his Firelights.  When we're shown imagery of Powder sobbing and hitting herself and beating at the image of her older self, we're seeing the inward turn of that anger and also fear.  

As much as Powder seeks to use the identity of Jinx as a separate shielded personality that protects her from feeling pain or guilt, she is also frightened and horrified by the idea of becoming that person.  Part of her terribly desires the safety to be soft, to be vulnerable, to have her life the way it once was.   She holds on to the things from her past that remind her of both pain and safety.  She builds sculptures in her private workshop of Mylo and Claggor, even as she’s haunted by their ghosts.  She clearly hung on to all the items she had at the table at the dinner party.  Vi's rabbit, Vander's pipe, the photo, Mylo and Claggor.  She leaves physical marks on things everywhere she goes, evidence of ownership, that she was there, that she existed.

Vi represents the old safety, that first, most constant and beloved anchor in Jinx's life.  

Silco represents the acceptance of Jinx's ugliest flaws.  He enforces the philosophy that there is no safety beyond what can be controlled, and the thing is, he's not entirely wrong.

Jinx desparately wants acceptance and love to the point that it's her major motivation.  She brings Vi, Caitlyn, and Silco together at the elaborate party set-up to force someone to choose her so she can feel like she's truly been given that love - even though she's smart enough to know that she forced the situation.  

In a terribly sad way, Jinx and Silco both actually gave each other what they felt they never got from Vi or Vander.  For Jinx, Silco's last actions were to tell her not to cry (not to feel regret for killing him) that she was perfect (regardless of her mistake and how terrible it was).  For Silco, Jinx's obvious horror and tears of regret for hurting him were probably the most honest proof of love he could've asked for after "betraying" him, as opposed to the closure he never got from Vander.

[merevide]

Why Max Shouldn’t Have Died This Season (And Why Her Living Has More Impact)

(TW: mentions of suicide and depression)

I have been seeing a decent number of people saying Max should’ve died this season because it would’ve “been more heartbreaking” and “more impactful” and that’s simply not true.

Well, the fact that her dying would be a good decision isn’t true, of course it would be heartbreaking. We love Max here.

Stranger Things is a show that has had the reoccurring “introduce new & likable character -> kill them off at the end of the season”  staple for a while now, and yeah, it’s getting repetitive since you can basically pinpoint who’s gonna die, but killing a main like Max wouldn’t be a better option

Max’s arc this season was her closing herself off to others in response to s3’s end where Billy died, sacrificing himself to the Mind Flayer. At first she blames herself for not doing something to save him, but it’s later revealed that deep down, she wanted something bad to happen to him in response to the abuse and pain he put her through. So when she got that through Billy dying in s3, she has tried to forgive herself, but just can’t, which is the exact thing Vecna feeds on. Vecna feeds on victims of pain and suffering due to their internal guilt being something he can easily manipulate and feed on, like a parasite.

But that’s the latter half of the season, the actual turning stone in Max’s arc is when Vecna first tries to take her in Volume 1, but through having her favorite song played, she escapes. That’s not what technically saves her though, it’s the memories of her loved ones that do.

Reading the scene as an allegory of Max literally choosing life over death, choosing her loved ones over the pain and suffering that’s been haunting her basically makes any chance of death after that completely void.

Having her die after having her choose to live would basically be saying “Yeah Depression/Mental Illness eventually overtakes you and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.” and that’s just so wrong and would basically have the whole thing be tragedy for the sake of tragedy.

The entire scene of having Max confess that she’s been battling with the pain of wanting to be “taken away” and to “disappear” just reads like having suicidal thoughts and thinking you don’t deserve to live, which just isn’t true at all.

Even Max’s line as she’s dying in Lucas’ arms is literally “Lucas I'm scared, I'm so scared, I'm so scared. I don't wanna die. I'm not ready!” Which is heart shattering, usually we don’t get stuff like that in this show, I also think it contrasts to how Eddie accepts his death in the scene before. Realizing once again that she still has so much to live for and how death isn’t the answer. Which is also why I don’t get people saying her dying permanently would be more impactful, both Lucas and Max pleading is more impactful to me then actually having Max kick the bucket and having it all be for nothing, having the light at the end of the tunnel suddenly snuff out.

Even El restarting her heart plays into this, obviously it’s to set up s5 and how Max’s coma will play into it, but El using her powers to restart Max’s heart also comes with a montage of all the good times El has shared with Max. Max has an impact on El, like she has an impact on Lucas, on her whole friend group. Small but powerful moments in the gist of it, moments that not only meant the world to Max but to her friends as well.

(Also “Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)” by Kate Bush being her favorite song also has meaning but this is getting long so i’ll chalk it up to which way you interpret the lyrics)

So, those are my thoughts. Obviously Max is in a coma currently but the Duffers have said it’ll be important to s5 so besides all of that i just wrote above, having Max be alive is important to the plot, so yay for writing tools.

Max is a great character and I’m glad she got more time to shine this season and have a well written arc. Again this is just my opinion, we’re allowed to disagree, it’s what makes discussion fun. Possibly tell me your thoughts?

[alltooreid]

Call It What You Want

Everyone around them is trying to discover the true nature of Y/N and Spencer’s relationship. Little do they know Y/N is trying to figure out the exact same thing. 

A/N: Sorry this took a lot longer than I wanted it to.... Mental health is hard but here it is!! I hope you guys love it :)) Additionally I added a lil garvez to this... but for it to work with the timeline we’re all just gonna pretend Lisa doesn’t exist... ok great!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (with a little splash of implied Garvez content for my personal joy)

Requested?: Yes!! :)) “can you do a one shot based off call it what you want??”

Type: Fluffiest Fluff

Word Count: 3K

Content Warnings: None! 

“My baby's fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene Loves me like I'm brand new So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to”

The team was sure something was going on between Y/N and Spencer, they just weren’t sure how to prove it.

Every sign pointed to the two dating, but the pair hadn’t said anything about it. Maybe they were trying to keep it a secret, but at the same time they didn’t appear to be being very secretive about it.

So ever since Penelope saw Y/N giving Spencer a ride home a week ago, she has been determined to uncover the truth, and hopefully the truth was her two best friends were in the world’s cutest, most perfect relationship.

She was using her technical brilliance to gather data when she was caught by none other than Luke Alvez.

“What are you doing in here?”

“This is my job Luke, I have to be in here,” she rolled her eyes.

“Well, I know that! I mean what are you doing right now, we don’t have a case.” he smirked “Are you committing any cyber crimes? You know you could get in a lot of trouble for those, the FBI won’t help you. You should let me help.”

She smiled, “You do know I got my job here from committing cyber crimes right? I don’t think I would need your help. Besides, I’m working on a personal project.” After some thought she decided Luke might actually be helpful “I’m trying to find out if Spencer and Y/N are dating.”

“I swear I saw them leaving together yesterday, that seems like pretty good evidence! I could be very helpful to you.”

“I’m way ahead of you, but I guess you can help,” she pulled up a new tab, quickly constructing a timeline while Luke pulled a chair next to her. “So our favorite pair’s relationship would, based on my intense experimentation and surveying, begin here,” she traced a circle around the start of the timeline with her cursor, “on that night we went out after the case and then wouldn’t stop talking to each other.”

Luke and Penelope discussed all the things they saw that led them to believe that Y/N and Spencer were more than just friends, from how keen Y/N was to listen to anything that came out of Spencer’s mouth no matter how difficult to follow, to Spencer’s willingness to touch her. After about 15 minutes however they were interrupted by none other than Y/N herself. Penelope quickly switched tabs, so that it now appeared she was just showing Luke a funny kitten video.

“Hey guys! What are you doing in here?” “Oh you know, just wasting time. . . What’s up?” said Luke.

“I was just checking to see if you wanted to go to lunch! If you have any opinions as to where that would be great too because no one out there can make a decision . . .”

“Of course I want lunch! I’ll be out there in just a sec,” Penelope smiled and started closing her work done as soon as Y/N left, almost forgetting Luke’s presence.

“Um, Penelope?”

“What is it Luke?”

“Do you think you’d ever do anything like what Y/N and Spencer are doing?” he asked.

“Like what? Keep a secret? You know I’m terrible at that stuff.”

“No, no I mean like . . .” he took a deep breath, “You know, like dating a coworker?”

“What does that have to do with anything? Now hurry up and come to lunch, we can keep working afterwards,” she replied.

Luke awkwardly smiled, and they both left.

Little did Luke and Penelope know that as they debated and pieced together aspects of Y/N and Spencer’s relationship, trying to uncover if they were dating, Y/N was doing the exact same thing.

Her and Spencer had been on three dates, each more boyfriend and girlfriend than the last. They got coffee one day, then went to a movie, then a nice restaurant for dinner. Tonight Spencer wanted to keep it a surprise, but that just made her even more confused.

Sometimes her and Spencer would sit next to each other at the round table, and now when they did that he would reach over, not to hold her hand, but just to link their pinkies together.

She didn’t know what that meant.

Sometimes Y/N would go on a tangent and realize she had been talking for almost an hour about nothing in particular, and when she realized Spencer was the only one still listening would apologize for wasting his time. To which he would reply, “Why would I be upset about spending time with you?” She didn’t know what that meant.

And one time, on her and Spencer’s first “date” they were about to part their separate directions, and Y/N had no idea what to do with her body or her hands, Spencer wrapped her into a hug, and she swore she felt his lips brushing against the top of her head.

She really didn’t know what that meant.

Which is why she continued to let Penelope and Luke have their fun trying to decipher her and Spencer’s social cues. She knew as soon as she was about to enter to ask about lunch, Penelope was not exactly quiet and Luke wasn’t any better, but she let them believe they were being sneaky.

Besides, maybe if they found the answer they could let her know.

When the team returned from lunch she couldn’t help but continue to contemplate this issue further, Spencer hadn’t really said anything to her at lunch. Were they still just friends? Were they dating but not telling anyone? Were they going to tell anyone?

“Y/N! Are you excited to hang out tonight?” Spencer asked.

Hang out. So it definitely was not a date. . .

“Of course! Right after work right? Your place?”

“Yep! It’s a date,” he smiled and walked away, leaving Y/N in a state of confused panic. What was this? For someone so logical and scientific, Y/N wished that Spencer Reid would just tell her the kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, and genus of their relationship.

Maybe then she could stop dissecting it to try and figure it out.

　♡　　♡　　♡　　♡　　♡　

As Y/N stood outside Spencer’s apartment building, she struggled to muster up courage to go inside. It’s not that she was nervous to hang out with Spencer, it was just Y/N knew she needed to have the “what are we” talk with him for her own personal sanity. And she just wasn’t sure yet what his answer would be.

She had made her way into the building and gotten to Spencer’s floor when she ran into the man of the hour himself.

“Oh there you are! I was about to come down and get you,” he said.

Y/N glanced at her phone, “I’m sorry, am I late?”

“No, no, no. You’re perfect, I just got excited.”

That confused Y/N even more, she couldn’t decide if that leaned more towards friend or date territory. However all of her anxieties were forgotten for a moment as soon as she entered Spencer’s apartment.

Almost all the lights were off, except for several strings of lights shaped like stars, strung in different directions across the room. In the corner were several folded up blankets and sheets, and pillows were spread out across the room.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it, although if I’m being honest I don’t really know what it is . . .”

“13 months ago we were on a case, the one were the unsub was killing couples when they went out camping so that no one would look for them for days, and you said that you used to go camping all the time but you didn’t think you could go anymore. So I bought stuff so we could go camping together, right here.”

Y/N was left almost speechless, “I- I don’t even know what to say, Spencer this is incredible.”

He beamed, instantly satisfied with that answer. “I tried to find a tent, but all of the stores I went to said I should order one online . . . I figured it would be more fun to build a fort instead.”

Spencer brought over the supplies he had bought and gathered, various sheets and comforters, pillows, his leather couch cushions, sleeping bags, a large collection of clothes pins, and some more lights. Except Spencer left a single bag in the pile, the only one from a craft store.

“Do you want me to grab that one?” Y/N asked.

“Oh um, no don’t worry about that one. I saw something stupid on that site JJ and Garcia really like while I was passing JJ’s desk. . .  Pinterest? Yes that’s it. And I tried to make it but even though I memorized the instructions I couldn’t get it to work. . . I kind of just gave up and threw everything in there.”

“Can I try it?”

He nodded, and Y/N got up and glanced into the bag, in it was a push light, warm toned tissue paper and a couple empty paper towel rolls, all stuck together, but also somehow falling apart. Y/N couldn’t help but smile, “Were you trying to build me a campfire Dr. Reid?”

“Well you said that your family used to have this big bonfire every year, and that it used to be one of your favorite traditions until you couldn’t handle going anymore, so I thought I could make one that would be a little safer for you. Turns out that you actually need four PHDs to be good at crafts though.”                    

“Spencer this whole date is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me . . . Thank you.”

“Of course, I really want you to enjoy yourself when you're around me Y/N.”

“Spencer, I’ve never not enjoyed myself when I’m around you, and you were with me when I got shot. You’re my favorite person, you do know that right?”

He blushed, “You’re my favorite person too Y/N.”

So the two lovers built a blanket fort, draping sheets over string lights and shoving the inside full of pillows and blankets, giggling the entire time. Y/N taught Spencer the simplicity of DIY projects, and how sometimes the directions needed to be adjusted slightly based on personal preferences and ability. Soon the pair were cuddled up together on the ground, no other space to be except for right next to each other, as the rest of the fort was covered by snacks, pillows, their homemade campfire, and Spencer’s vinyl record player.

“Did you do this on purpose? Making me be so close to you?”

“No, I would never, it’s not my fault this area is so small . . . “

“Mhm, although I’m sure a genius like you could figure out how to make an adult sized fort, I’m very glad you didn’t,” she said, giggling and squishing herself closer to him. They smiled and kissed each other, before Spencer spoke.

“You make me so, unbelievably, happy. I never thought I could feel like this until we met Y/N.”

Y/N smiled even bigger, “Spencer I really, really like you,” she paused, it was now or never, “but um, what do you want to call this, like what we’re doing.”

“Well what do you want this to be? Because I want you to be my girlfriend.”

She smiled, “I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“Well then that’s what we’ll be,” he said, kissing her on the forehead.

“Well you do know the team, particularly Penelope and Luke have the exact same question.”

“Well I think more than Luke wondering if we’re dating, I think he’s just wondering if Penelope will date him. . . So I say let them have their fun for a little while, before we tell everyone.”

She smiled, “Perfect. They’re profilers, they’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Well, I think we should watch a movie. . .  Although I mostly enjoy my cinema in Russian, tonight is about you and I don’t want to give you a headache. What’s your favorite?”

“You’re going to laugh at me.”

“I promise I will not laugh at you darling.”

“High School Musical 3.”

　♡　　♡　　♡　　♡　　♡　

So Y/N spent the rest of that night explaining the plot of the first two High School Musical movies, then explaining why the third one was the clear winner, and then finally showing Spencer the third one off of her phone, where she had it saved to her cloud for emergencies.

And although singing and dancing adults pretending to be teenagers was not exactly Spencer’s favorite genre, he loved how happy the series as a whole made Y/N. So he latched onto it, and learned as much as he could about it.

One particular scene however, in one of the earlier films, seemed to make Y/N extra excited, as she spent the longest amount of time talking about it. So Spencer decided he knew exactly what to do to prove to her he was in this relationship for the long haul.

Spencer could tell she was anxious before their date, and it didn’t take him long to guess that it was because she didn’t know how serious everything was to him. Yet, he didn’t want to be too obvious that he wanted her to be his, because if he had assessed wrong he would make a complete fool out of himself.

But when she asked him, she seemed so nervous, so small, he knew he had made a mistake in waiting, and now he wanted to make it up to her.

So as she was walking in the next day he caught her. “Y/N!”

“Hi Spencer! What’s up?”

“I have a present for you. . .” he said, handing her a small box wrapped in shiny gold paper.

“For me? Why?”

“Oh you know, just because. . .”

As Y/N unwrapped the box, Spencer got more and more nervous… What if she hated it? What if she thought it was stupid or too soon or didn’t get it or-

“Oh my god Spencer I-”

“You know what it’s stupid, I don’t even know why I got it for you. I can return it and find you something you’ll actually like-”

“I love it Spencer, it’s perfect. Will you put it on me?”

Spencer hooked the chain around his new girlfriend’s neck, the small “S” pendant shining in the light.

“It’s like Gabriella’s. . . I love it. I can’t believe you would care to remember something like that…”

“Of course I would remember that. I have an eidetic memory. Did you know that although the original purpose and origin of initial jewelry was largely unknown, they date back to the 14th century?”

“No, I just mean… It’s very thoughtful Spencer.”

He smiled, “Well I’m sorry to kill the mood, but I really have to go to the bathroom. I drank 3 cups of coffee this morning and I was standing here waiting for you for 18 minutes and 4 seconds before you came in.”

She laughed, and then hugged him, “Well don’t just stand here! Go!”

Spencer ran off, leaving Y/N to walk into the bullpen alone. As Y/N was making her way to her desk, she was stopped by none other than Penelope Garcia and Luke Alvez, Penelope up front, Luke standing a foot or so behind her, ready to back her up.

“Y/N! We know your secret, you and Spencer are secretly dating. . . We figured it out this morning. You can’t hide from us anymore,” Penelope said, Luke nodding behind her.

“Well yeah we’re dating, but it’s not a secret.”

“What? Excuse me? You haven’t told anyone!”

“Yeah but we haven’t really made any effort to hide it? We told everyone about the time we went to the movies?”

“Yeah but- Um, we just thought we were being sneaky. . .” Penelope said.

“You might wanna get a little better at that guys, the Bat Cave is not soundproof.”

“Dang it, I really need to work on that…” Penelope said. “Well Luke Alvez, I suppose our quest has been conquered.”

“See! We were right, I told you I’m great help,” Luke said.

“Oh don’t get it too twisted, this was almost all me.”

After a moment of playful banter, Y/N stopped them “So when are you two going to start “secretly” dating huh?”

“Uh hmph, I don’t know what you talking about. I would never,” Penelope said.

At that moment, Spencer returned from the bathroom, and came up upon Y/N hugging her from behind and leaning to rest his head on her shoulder. “What are we talking about?”

Penelope threw her head back in defeat, “Nothing, 187, we were just talking. . .”

“Don’t you think Luke and Penelope would make the cutest couple Spencer?” Y/N smirked.

“You know what? Yeah I do!” Spencer played along, “Have you guys ever thought about that?

Luke was beaming behind Penelope, while she looked like she was trying to hide her enthusiasm. “No actually I haven’t,” she said.

“Well you definitely should,” Y/N said, giggling as her and Spencer walked to his desk.

“Hey, wait come back here! What does your necklace have on it?” Penelope asked, half running after them, Luke closely behind her.

“Whatever you want Penelope, whatever you want.”

“I want to wear his initial On a chain round my neck, chain round my neck Not because he owns me But 'cause he really knows me”

Thank you so much for reading!! Please reblog and let me know what you think :)))

holly’s tiny taglist: @reidingmelodies @hercleverboy @rigatonireid @muffin-cup​ @takeyourleap-of-faith @wheelsup​ @s1utformgg​ @averyhotchner​ @widow-cevans​ @rotinireid​

please let me know if you would like to be added or removed :))

[hamliet]

What Does It Mean to Save?

I keep seeing it said that Deku, Ochaco, and Shouto will “save” Shigaraki, Himiko, and Dabi, but that there will be no redemption and/or no survival for them. I’m truly not trying to vague these posts and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but literary criticism is fundamentally responsive so I’m writing this anyways.

I personally think that’s not BNHA’s definition of saving nor of redemption. So here, have a deep dive into literary tropes related to redemption, genre, and character arcs as they pertain to BNHA and the question of: what does it mean to save Shigaraki, Touya, and Himiko?

Before we begin, let me say that while we might be personally uncomfortable with redemption (there’s a redemption arc in BNHA I am personally quite uncomfortable with), that doesn’t inherently mean the narrative won’t go there. The key principle I’m operating on here is BNHA’s message that heroes save people. It’s held up as the highest ideal. 

So let’s talk redemption in BNHA-verse. With this guy, whose redemption arc I dislike in principle but accept as part of the story so don’t come for me stans and/or antis. I’m analyzing because it shows us what redemption means in BNHA-verse, whether or not that is satisfying to you personally as it fits/does not fit with your own morality/philosophy.

If Endeavor can be redeemed and live, and he’s Bakugou’s negative foil, I highly doubt Shigaraki and Deku as well as Touya and Shouto and Ochaco and Himiko will be any different. Why? Because Enji is an adult character. The others--well, Himiko’s age we don’t know, but we do know that Shigaraki and Dabi are technically adults. But does the story consider them adults?

(It doesn’t.)

Child-coded characters are generally more likely to survive a redemption, which I’ll explain more later. First I have to define what I mean by child-coding, because I DO NOT mean this in the way it’s often (mis)used in fandom wank. Child-coding is a real thing, but it is not done to infantilize and it has nothing to do with shipping.

Child coding frames the character as a child for a few narrative purposes to convey a story’s theme or purpose. For example, if it’s a coming of age story coding a character as a child even if they legally are not emphasizes their journey to an understanding of self-actualization, or a true understanding of self with self-awareness and an understanding of self-value. An example of an adult coded as a child is The Kite Runner, wherein Amir is a legal adult for half the story, even married for fifteen years so we’re talking 30s-40s, but he does not truly become an adult until he returns to his homeland and takes responsibility for a childhood sin. In Attack on Titan, the main characters are now nineteen, but are still struggling to take responsibility as adults and have only started doing so now that their mentors/parental figures have started dying.

Along those lines, in any kind of story, you can code a character as a child of someone, regardless of biological relationship, to convey the type of relationship they have (usually a mentor one). For an example of this, see Bungo Stray Dogs’ Dazai and Akutagawa. Despite their two year age difference, Dazai recruited him to the mafia, abandoned him, and Akutagawa desperately seeks his approval. Usually in these stories a character will “overcome” their parental figure. This can be done through overcoming their need for the parental figure’s approval in stories where the parental figure is kindly (such as in Harry Potter, when in the final book Harry, Ron, and Hermione leave the Weasleys to find the Horcruxes despite Mrs. Weasley’s please) or through like, killing/stopping/leaving the parental figure when they are abusive (see fairy tales like Rapunzel and Cinderella). The parental link to self-actualization is because it is childlike (and a part of actual psychology that is reflected in literature) to see yourself as a part of your parent; self-actualized person would see yourself as a distinct person from your parent, but also acknowledge the ways in which they’ve shaped you.

So, how do you code a character as a child? BNHA isn’t subtle about it, because Horikoshi seldom is subtle about anything. The villain trio are all coded as children.

Shigaraki Tomura:

Who cannot achieve self-actualization so long as AFO has access to his body, as he’s literally trying to possess him. He’s trying, but it’s not gonna work because Shigaraki can’t keep AFO and become an adult at the same time. It’s a choice the narrative is setting up: your dream of destroying, or your freedom? (To get the latter, he’ll probably have to destroy AFO).

Todoroki Touya, who is repeatedly emphasized as a small child when compared to his siblings, and yes, I know he’s now tall. Specifically he’s spotlighted as the child of Endeavor:

And he’s the least self-actualized one in a lot of ways, contradicting himself constantly. I’m not Endeavor, DUH! But these are Endeavor’s flames! He’s gonna have to choose one or the other, because the tragic irony is that the more he takes out his rage on those around him, the more like Endeavor he becomes.

And Toga Himiko (who might well literally be a legal child), who is actually the most self-actualized one thus far, because she rejects Curious’s child insistence (Curious holds her in a Pieta pose, based on Michelangelo’s statue wherein Mary holds a deceased Christ):

She’s still got, like, a way to go though:

Because Himiko also wants to be like the people she loves to the point where she loses her own identity in them, which is er, not self-actualization. So she’ll have to choose whether or not she really wants to be like the people she loves or whether she wants to live her own way, which she herself tells us how that would end (death):

Deku said it himself: it’s good to focus on what someone is doing now. And look, I have issues with this statement and how it’s framed. I’ve talked about it at length and it was doomed to fail because Shouto himself told us long ago that it was annoying to hear a righteous speech by a stranger when you hadn’t gone through the same, plus Endeavor kinda failed by choosing being a hero over a dad here. But, the principle is that if the past doesn’t preclude Endeavor from seeking a better self, why would it preclude three characters coded as children, one of whom is literally somewhat the product of Endeavor’s sins? BNHA doesn’t think the past keeps someone from a better future. 

So what about Dabi’s counterpoint, which is indeed valid? Well, redemption doesn’t mean the past forgets, either. It’s complicated and nuanced, and we can debate how well Horikoshi strikes this nuance (it’s got its flaws), and admittedly I don’t know how this will go down in the future. But it is asking Endeavor: how do you redeem yourself to the people you’ve hurt? And we have Endeavor asking this question to Touya’s shrine. I mean, the foreshadowing is obvious. Endeavor has to redeem himself by trying to save Touya. However, it will still probably come down to Shouto to save Touya.

For our three villains, it’s a little harder to predict... well, sort of. For Shigaraki it’s extremely obvious: he has to help take down AFO. Dabi probably has to do something to help his family (siblings probably), but it’s vague. Toga needs help and not condemnation, but presumably she’ll help Ochaco with something.

So, is this redemption? I’d define it as redemption in the eyes of the narrative. To address what makes a redemption is another essay unto itself, but if we bring in the oft-compared Star Wars example: did Darth Vader get a redemption? Did Ben Solo? Everyone says yes to both. However, only Luke witnesses Vader’s redemption, and only Rey Ben Solo’s. So the rest of the galaxy? Doesn’t think so. When I say they’ll be redeemed, I’m defining it as their role in the eyes of the narrative, not whether or not society will accept them or even whether their victims will forgive them (of note, in canonical novels, Leia never forgave Darth Vader despite learning he was her father and obviously knowing Luke’s account of his redemption was true).

So, redemption in a narrative doesn’t mean all of society has to forgive and accept them. Dabi has still like, murdered 30 people--many of whom were thugs, but he himself acknowledges they didn’t deserve to die. Additionally, he himself also acknowledges that the families left behind--their feelings matter:

But why does that mean they have to die? Why even does it mean they have to languish in prison forever? (If there’s even a safe prison at the end of BNHA which I kinda have doubts about.) Heroes have also killed: see Hawks as Exhibit A. In fact, some people want revenge on the heroes precisely because they arrested or killed their loved ones (jail isn’t held up as a rehabilitative place in BNHA’s world. In most countries it isn’t in real life, either, but again that’s for another essay). So why don’t the League’s feelings on Twice’s death matter just as much as the feelings of unnamed and unseen (and thereby less important narratively) characters?

Additionally, regarding death... the villains routinely get called on their death wishes. Himiko’s determination to decide how/when she dies is called out because this is right  before Twice overcomes his trauma to save her, and the next arc they appear in is when Twice dies trying to save her again. Dabi’s suicide wish keeps him from getting close to others, and it keeps getting thwarted. Shigaraki’s obsession with destruction and death is clearly not a good thing, and his rejection of his family’s desire for them to join him in death this past arc is growth.

In other words: what Dabi said and what Snatch said about families and how they feel matter for the villains too. The villains are their own weird found family (Dabi as the deadbeat prodigal brother of both his families). Their deaths--Magne’s and Twice’s thus far, and I’m not ruling out further deaths in the future--affect the others. People’s feelings on losing loved ones matter. The villains are people, as Himiko said herself this arc:

Their feelings about each other matter:

How would Touya dying affect the Todorokis? At least they saved him spiritually, I guess, but that’s absolutely lame narratively, and if you have Enji eventually do a sacrifice to save Dabi (pretty likely, even if I personally think Enji will survive said sacrifice) then what’s the point of Dabi dying? How would Himiko dying affect society? As a martyr like Curious wanted her to be, even a redeemed one? A tragic warning story? What even is the point of Ochaco saving her if that’s the case? If Shigaraki dies, well, who would mourn besides Deku? How would Shigaraki dying affect the surviving members of the league? He just couldn’t be saved physically? 

It’s not impossible some of this happens, but it doesn’t seem like great writing, especially with panels like, oh, these that show us BNHA’s perspective on death:

Sacrificing something is a type of death that occurs in stories; this should happen in a redemption arc, which is why I’ve been saying Enji needs to sacrifice his hero reputation to help save Touya and even then it’ll still be Shouto imo who does the saving. But physical death?

If you want further analysis of the latter two panels and how they relate to the ending, see here.

We already have another villain who will definitely die redemptively (Kurogiri--an adult coded character--because he’s already, like, dead), and Spinner and Mr. Compress aren’t coded as kids so I hold them with anxiety towards the end. But again, this isn’t me being ageist or saying this is the way things ought to be in fiction or real life: it’s me looking at writing tropes and saying that child-coded characters tend to survive their redemptions. See: Zuko. Why? Because the death of children or child-coded characters is a tragedy. When a child-coded character dies redemptively it doesn’t feel like a happy ending and if framed as such, it’s often criticized for bad writing (see: Ben Solo). Curious even called this out in her fight with Himiko. I would hope Horikoshi doesn’t end the story being like yeah Curious was right that’s the best use of Himiko’s/Dabi’s/Shigaraki’s arcs:

Additionally, as for the believability of a character getting a new chance after so much destruction and murder... well, it’s kinda a thing in shonen and even in seinen? For better or for worse, it’s a thing. We have Vegeta in Dragon Ball Z and Kaneki Ken in Tokyo Ghoul (Kaneki, by the way, is absolutely an inspiration for Shigaraki). We can debate how well-written these redemptions are (I personally have been quite critical of Kaneki’s despite wanting it to happen narratively), but it can be done. BNHA’s Japan especially isn’t as harsh a world as Tokyo Ghoul’s Japan, so it would make even more sense for something like Kaneki’s ending.

The reality is that the cycle of revenge via hurting people and then leaving hurting families and loved ones has to stop somewhere. Someone has to be the bigger person and step up and be like “naw.” That’s heroic. That’s brave. That’s sacrificial itself. Justice itself doesn’t really exist in its purest form without mercy.

There’s another genre-reason I don’t see death or jail as likely (I could see, like, maybe a mental health ward like Rei’s? But it’s too soon to speculate).

If saving is considered a good thing for the story, if it’s truly the highest ideal, then saving someone should be rewarded by the narrative. The characters who save should have a positive result to show us this a good thing.

This is why it doesn’t work for the heroes’ end journey to be accepting that some people cannot be saved. The notion of just accepting that you cannot do something, you cannot save everyone, you cannot, cannot, cannot, is called out as a flaw of society. Determination, on the other hand, is rewarded.

We see it with Deku as well as with Mirio.

So, what if they save them and the redeemed characters then go on to sacrifice themselves in their redemption and die (come to the same end)? If saving changes absolutely nothing for the saved person, if it’s too late for the saved from themselves to change and/or do anything that matters besides die, then the narrative theme of saving as important is left unemphasized at best and undermined at worst. Simple intrinsic knowledge that the kids “did the right thing” doesn’t cut it for a story with so much focus on physical saving when the kids are already doing the right thing; moral struggles about whether to choose to be good aren’t really Deku, Ochaco, or Shouto’s arcs. It works for Aizawa’s arc with Kurogiri, but not for the kiddos. If BNHA was more of a philosophical/spiritual text, that would indeed make sense, but it is not. Genre-wise, BNHA is a fantastical superhero optimistic story, not a gritty real-world set drama.

[bemused-writer]

VNC Chapter 54 Analysis

Whew! It has been a bit since our regularly scheduled meta. 8D A quick life update before we get into it: I'm currently in the midst of switching careers (in other words, job searching, interviewing, etc. etc.) and that is consuming the bulk of my time and thought, so expect further delays on this front, but know they will come all the same. I love writing the meta (and the fic) as you guys know. (^^) With that out of the way, let's take a look at this chapter because things sure happened in it. Honestly, it's kind of everything I could have hoped for. :D Namely, a theory I had going was confirmed.

And that theory is that Misha was not exactly being sincere about wanting to know Vanitas's memories. Sure, he probably would like to know, but his main goal was Noé's death.

He continues saying "You know I'm all you need! You'd be fine without that guy!" So, Misha is fully admitting his motives were incredibly selfish but in a different way than he presented to Noé. Previously he'd made it seem as though all he needed was closure. He just needed to know why Vanitas killed Luna! A self-serving purpose, but sympathetic all the same. The reality is that Misha is incredibly jealous; he wants to keep Vanitas all to himself and can't bear to share him with anyone else.

Furthermore, he cannot fathom what it is about Noé that has Vanitas doing so much for him. At this point, it's unclear how much Misha knows about their relationship, but he definitely knows they're working together and knows they're close (which is half the problem in his estimation). He figured Noé was the main thing preventing Vanitas from rejoining his perfect family. Of course, we know that isn't remotely the case even though we don't know why Vanitas killed Luna, but Misha is in denial about a lot of things, not least of which is this.

Throughout Misha's tirade it seems that Vanitas is maintaining some consciousness, though just barely. I'd guess he's going in and out of consciousness, but Mochizuki went out of her way to show he at least heard Misha's reasoning, i.e. that Vanitas shouldn't need Noé because he has him.

Now, speaking of theories I've had, one of them was proven wrong in this chapter as well, although it makes things more interesting: Dominique is not a curse bearer. We also have it proven that this isn't Louis, but another side of Dominique herself. Note that Louis's mole is missing, thus proving it's her:

As for why she's saying "our" name, I think this is just a grammar thing to be honest. (^^)" There are technically "two" people there even though they're one and the same. But these different reflections of Dominique are quite interesting. Here's what she has to say about this one:

I think at this point it's safe to say that Dominique's more "feminine" side is what she's equating to weakness and her more "masculine" side is what she sees as her strength. The problem she's running into is that she's separating her own personality into chunks, which has caused a rift within herself. Misha was able to take advantage of her because she was stamping out all of her doubt and sorrow and, perhaps most importantly, her past as a more unsure, innocent individual. But that's how she got to where she is today; she can't ignore that past much as she'd like to. I think that for Dominique she'll know real peace once she's reconciled these two aspects of her personality and found that they're ultimately one and the same.

Of course, her issues with Noé need to be addressed as well. Already she's seen that killing herself solves nothing. Noé cares for her and she wouldn't make life easier for him by removing herself from the equation. I think she has to confront there's a certain selfishness in trying to determine what would or wouldn't make Noé happy without talking to him as well, which I suspect will be discussed later in this arc. But most importantly, Dominique needs to learn to value her own life for herself and to prioritize herself for a change. I'm not sure that's something we're going to get around to this arc (baby steps and all), but I feel like she's slowly starting to get there. Right now, she's valuing herself only in terms of Noé caring about her and needing her. She's still prioritizing his feelings over her own and that's the biggest thing that needs to change.

As for Noé, he's only just realizing any of this, so a substantial part of this arc for him will no doubt be him coming to terms with how Dominique actually feels, not just for him but for herself, too. He's also going to have to deal with Vanitas and the fact that Vanitas still didn't offer to help Dominique (that is a problem that hasn't actually been addressed whatsoever yet) and the fact that Noé immediately became the thing Vanitas feared most in an effort to protect her.

This could possibly lead to Noé realizing two things: how much he cares for Dominique and how much he cares for Vanitas. The latter is already in motion. The former has been in motion for years, so it's really a matter of what tone it takes later this arc. Will Noé realize he shares the same feelings for Dominique that she has for him? Or will he realize that he hasn't been as good of a friend to her as he'd hoped? Very curious to see how that progresses.

As for Misha, well, he's taking everything very badly. XD As I've said many times, his plan was actually terrible and the whole thing has, indeed, backfired on him spectacularly. Even the book has backfired on him!

It's honestly kind of hilarious. Now, getting to Misha's abilities, he admits he can't alter a vampire's name, he can simply manipulate them for a time. I think that's what the random vampiric zombie horde is supposed to be: vampires he has manipulated to work for him. And yet, I'm puzzled. It's been heavily implied that Dominique attacked other vampires as a curse bearer, except we now know she isn't actually a curse bearer, so what was she doing? Was she spreading Misha's influence somehow? The vampires all have blood about their lips much as Dominique did when she stumbled back to Misha.

Visually, the dark matter coming out of Misha's book actually look likes blood, doesn't it? We haven't heard of the book being able to manipulate blood, but I find myself wondering if that's what he's doing. Might explain the zombie vibes of his horde. XD Regardless, blood seems involved somehow even if it merely represents the damage his book has done to those he controls.

I suppose we'll find out next chapter! I'm looking forward to seeing more zombies and Misha's abilities continually backfiring on him. I can't imagine Dominique and Jeanne will continue to fight each other seeing as Dominique has her independence back, but the two will definitely need to talk over some things. Ahh, there's going to be a lot of talking this arc; I really can't wait. :D

[shellyseashell]

BREATH OF LIFE

Notes: this entire fic wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for these next chapters so <3

Masterlist

Warnings: blood, death, violence, intrusive thoughts (briefly), anxiety, guilt

Act 2 - Guard

21: split

LEVANA WASTED NO TIME IN FIGHTING BACK. As soon as their video aired, it seemed, Levana had sent out a video of her own, of her and Kai claiming Cinder was a violent criminal and she was not Princess Selene. It grated at all their nerves, but no one could shut it off, and they had no idea how either of the videos were being perceived, so they had no choice but to continue on and hope something would come of it.

They had worked through the night. Two runners had returned that morning, sharing news that the guards had been restrained in neighboring mining sectors, and they would join Cinder when she marched on Artemisia. Others had spread messages through mines, lava tubes, and maglev tunnels to confirm Cinder was Selene. 

When they regathered later today, Cinder planned on splitting them into teams to gather medical supplies (which Ling had volunteered to help with), watch the maglev platforms, gather food, watch the guardhouse, and ransack the mines for weapons and tools. Wolf, Ling and Aminah would teach basic combat, and Ling had volunteered to help train gifts with anyone who wanted to, though the idea made her feel physically sick. 

They had gathered around a holographic map of Luna, determining how they would lead the siege. Wolf showed them what routes he thought they should take, with Ling confirming them and informing them on the guard rotations, to make sure they wouldn’t get caught. Or at least, some of them wouldn’t be, though they had decided to come from all directions so Levana had to stretch her forces thin. 

“We should avoid Research and Development, and also Technical Services,” Wolf said, pointing at two sectors near Artemisia. “Most people there will be Levana supporters.”

“RD-1 seems easy enough to get around,” agreed Cinder, spinning the map to get a better view. “But TS-1 and 2 are right in our path if we’re going to hit these agriculture sectors on the way.”

“We could split up,” Ling offered. “Send everyone one way while a smaller team gathers people from the agriculture sectors.”

“Too risky,” Thorne said. “If you were captured? No guarantee you’d make it out okay, and we’d loose the agriculture sectors. What if we barricaded them? Trapped everyone inside. We could get through, and it would stop anyone from sneaking up on us from behind.”

“That might work,” said Cinder, “but what do we have to block them?”

“Doesn’t this sector manufacture building materials?” Scarlet pointed at GC-6: General Construction. “Maybe they have something we can use.”

Cinder turned to one of the miner’s gathered with them. “Can I appoint one of you to look into that?”

He clapped a hand to his chest in a salute. “Of course, Your Majesty. We can take some of the mining carts to transport the materials too.”

Ling felt a chill each time someone called Cinder Your Majesty, like she expected Levana to stop out of the shadows and kill them all. She kept waiting, for her own hand to betray her and slice her throat open. It never did.

Wolf stiffened, and Cinder asked, “What is it?”

Wolf started to shake his head, paused, and frowned. He turned his gaze towards the window. “I thought I . . . I smelled something.”

Ling’s blood ran cold.

“What sort of something?” Cinder asked, her voice tense.

“I can’t place it. There are a lot of bodies here, a lot of scents. But there was something . . . . Someone is near. Someone who was also on the rooftop of New Beijing.”

Guards. It was the only possibility. If only they hadn’t waited to set up a guard rotation.

Iko grabbed the portscreen and shut off the holograph.

A shrill scream echoed through the streets below, and Cinder raced to the window, pressing herself against the wall. Thorne plastered himself next to her. Aminah grabbed Ling’s hand, giving it a squeeze. Ling pulled her close, letting Aminah wrap her arms around her as they approached the windows themselves. 

Ling was sure she had never seen so many guards in one place. Never. There were at least half a dozen Thaumaturges as well, and Ling couldn’t spot Kalise. Not for the first time, she wondered what had happened to her. Because of Ling. Because she was a traitor, and she had killed Jerrico, and now she was helping a rebellion.

The most terrifying part of it all was Thaumaturge Aimery Park, standing on the edge of the fountain Cinder had stood on only hours before, wearing a white jacket, because of course he was Head Thaumaturge now.

There were too many guards. They kept pouring out of the narrow streets, too many to quell a simple uprising. Which could only mean one thing — they knew Cinder was there. 

They dragged people out of their homes, forcing them into uniform lines around the fountain. The man who had been beaten by the guards. The woman who had stockpiled her rations for years and had offered to give them all to those who would be fighting in Artemisia. The boy who had trailed after Iko all morning, looking absolutely in love.

“They’re rounding up everyone in the sector,” said Maha. “No doubt they’ll search these buildings too.” She stepped back with a fierce expression. “You all should hide. The rest of us will give ourselves up. They might not search these upper floors if they think everyone is accounted for.”

Cinder said, her voice hoarse, “They wont stop looking.”

“Then hide well.” Maha hugged Wolf, and then she was gone, just as the door on the first floor banged open. The other miners followed as if they were one collective mind.

Ling pulled herself closer to Aminah, as if she could melt into her, as if Aminah was her hiding place.

They listened to the guards shouting orders, to Maha telling them they were unarmed and coming down voluntarily. Then they were being shoved towards the crowd in the square with guns at their backs.

Scarlet gasped. “What about Winter?”

Ling cursed. They had left Winter at the house, thinking it would be safest for her. But now, there were hundreds of guards, and no one protecting her.

“I can go,” Iko said. “They won’t be able to sense me like they would any of you.”

Ling wanted to go with her, but she knew she couldn’t. She’d get them caught. Aminah seemed to know this, because she said, “I’ll go with you. You should have backup, in case anything goes wrong.”

Ling wanted her to stay. She knew Winter’s safety was more important, but some stupid, selfish part of her wanted Aminah to stay. She couldn’t lose Aminah too. But she couldn’t lose Winter either.

“Be careful,” said Cinder. “Sneak through the loading bay.”

Aminah pulled herself out of Ling’s hold. “I’ll be back.”

“Be careful,” Ling said, her voice pathetically weak. 

Aminah gave a small smile. “You too.” And then she and Iko were gone. 

Ling moved closer to the others, feeling like some vital part of her had just been cut out. Scarlet wrapped an arm around her, but the real comfort was knowing they were too high up for their bioelectricity to be sensed. 

Aimery started speaking. He wasn’t yelling, but his voice echoed off the factory walls just the same. “Residents of Regolith Mining Sector 9, you have been gathered here to face the consequences of your unlawful behavior. In harboring and aiding known criminals, you are all guilty of high treason against the crown.” He paused, letting the words settle. “The sentence for this crime is death.”

Ling couldn’t breath. She had seen countless executions before. There had never been this many at once.

There were over two thousand residents, and forced to their knees, they lined the streets as far as she could see. He couldn’t kill them all. He couldn’t reduce so much of Luna’s labor force. He couldn’t.

Her hand twitched. She should be down there. She should be lined up, ready for her death.

Aimery stood on the fountain, two guards flanking him, and Ling was aware of how similar it was to how her, Cinder, and Aminah had stood. 

They had to do something. They had to do something. They all were armed, in one way or another. They could take out the guards and Thaumaturges, but that would give away their location. Aimery would use the sector residents as shields.

“However,” said Aimery, “Her Majesty is prepared to offer you all amnesty. Each one of you will be spared. All you must do is tell us where you’re keeping the cyborg.”

They had to give up Cinder. That was all they had to do, and they would be safe. Ling knew someone would, because at one point, she would have too.

Cinder shoved a knuckle into her mouth to keep herself from screaming. 

“You cannot go out there.” Scarlet’s whisper was harsh. 

“I can’t let them die for me.”

Wolf jerked Cinder away from the window, glaring down at her. “No one is dying for you. If anyone dies today it will be because they finally have something to believe in. Don’t you even think about taking that away from them now.”

“If you die,” said Ling, “the revolution dies too.” They would have nothing to believe in. They would have their hope taken away again. They could only handle so many failures before they gave up.

“But I can’t—”

“Cinder, get yourself together,” said Thorne. “You are the heart of this revolution. Ling’s right. You give yourself up, and it’s over. Besides, Levana will probably kill all those people anyway to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

A gunshot made Cinder yelp, and Wolf clapped his hand over her mouth, but she threw herself at the window anyway. 

A man’s body was sprawled at Aimery’s feet. 

Aimery scanned the faces near him, smiling pleasantly. “I will ask you again. Where is Linh Cinder?”

Everyone kept their eyes pinned to the ground. No one spoke. Maybe Ling had underestimated them all. Maybe now that they had something to believe in, they were willing to sacrifice themselves for it.

Cinder pressed her hands to her ears. Scarlet pulled away from Ling and wrapped her arms around Cinder, tucking her face into the crook of Cinder’s neck. 

Aimery signaled to a woman seven rows back. Another shot. Another dead body. 

This was worse. This was so much worse than deaths by their own hand. At least then, they would know when they would die. 

She should be down there.

“All it takes is one person to tell me her location,” said Aimery, “and this will all be over. We will leave you to your peaceful lives.”

Ling’s vision blurred. She should have been down there. 

Thorne took Cinder’s hand, wrapping his other arm around Ling. She fell into his chest. Wolf stood on Cinder’s other side, forming a barrier around her. 

Aimery pointed at the boy who had been smitten with Iko. 

“No!”

Aimery held up a hand. “Who was that?”

A girl a few rows behind they boy was crying hysterically. “No, please. Please, leave him alone.” She couldn’t have been much older than Ling herself. The boy’s sister, she assumed. 

A few people gave the girl betrayed looks, but Ling couldn’t blame her. She would have done the same thing in her position. 

“Are you prepared to give up the location of the cyborg?” Aimery asked.

“Maha Kesley,” the girl stammered. “The cyborg was being housed by Maha Kesley.”

With a flick of his fingers, Aimery made the guard aiming at the boy lower his gun. “Where is this Maha Kesley?”

Maha stood before she was betrayed. “I’m here.”

Wolf took in a shaky breath, and Ling shared his pain. Had her mother been this brave? She knew her grandmother would have been. 

“Come to the front,” said Aimery.

Maha stood straight as she walked to the front. She didn’t tremble like so many had before their execution.

“What is the number of your residence?”

Maha gave it, and Ling had never been more scared for Aminah. Is this how Aminah had felt the night of the wedding, knowing she was in danger, but there wasn’t anything she could do to save her?

Aimery gestured at the captain of the guard — someone new, who Ling didn’t recognize — and a Thaumaturge. They stepped away, signaling for additional guards to join them. 

Aimery returned his attention to Maha. “Have you been sheltering the cyborg Linh Cinder?”

“I do not know that name,” said Maha. “The cyborg I know is named Princess Selene Blackburn, and she is the true queen of Luna.”

The crowd rustled. Chins lifted, shoulders squared. Maha had reminded them what they were risking their lives for.

Aimery smirked, and they watched as Maha raised her hands above her head, grabbed her right thumb and yanked it back. They heard the crack and Maha’s cry, and then Ling stepped away from the window. It took her a second to realize Cinder had forced her, Thorne, Scarlet, and Wolf to step away from her. 

“Cinder, don’t—”

“It’s the people’s revolution now. Wolf, you’re coming with me. I’ll keep your mind under control but not your body, just like in Artemisia. Thorne, Scarlet, Ling, stay here and target Aimery and the other Thaumaturges, but don’t shoot unless you have a clear shot, otherwise you’ll just give away your location.”

“I’m coming with you,” said Ling before she could think it through. Cinder opened her mouth to argue, but Ling added, “I’m not standing aside and watching when I could help. Not anymore.”

Cinder couldn’t argue with that, and Ling felt Cinder wrap her concentration around her mind as they rushed down the stairs. 

“I have to, Wolf,” Cinder said as Wolf growled. Outside, they heard another cry of pain from Maha. “I can’t do nothing.”

“He’ll kill you.”

“Not if we kill him first.”

They reached the bottom, and Cinder pushed open the factory doors. Maha screamed again. Three broken fingers. 

“Here I am,” Cinder bellowed. “You found me. Now let her go.”

In unison, the guards swiveled, pointing their guns at her, but no one fired. 

Aimery grinned. “So the imposter has finally graced us with her presence.”

She clenched her fists and started towards him. Wolf and Ling followed. “You know very well that my claims are true. It’s the only reason Levana is so determined to have me killed.”

They reached the front row of civilians. “You came here for me, and here I am. Leave these people alone.”

Aimery cocked his head. “Imagine how differently this could have gone,” he said, stepping off the fountain, “if you had chosen to claim the minds of these people before our arrival. Instead, you left them adrift on the ocean of their own weaknesses. You turned them into targets and then did nothing to protect them. You are not suited to be a ruler of Luna.”

“Because I would rather my people know freedom than constant manipulation?”

“Because you are not capable of making the decisions a queen must make for the good of all her people.”

“The only people,” said Cinder, “who have benefitted from Levana’s regime are the greedy aristocrats in Artemisia. Levana is not a queen. She’s a tyrant.”

Aimery bowed his head, like he was agreeing with her, and maybe he was. “And you are nobody at all.”

“I am the true ruler of Luna.” The words fell flat, because surrounded by so many guards, with so many people at Aimery’s mercy, she wasn’t much of a queen.

“You are a child playing at war games, and you’re too naive too see you’ve already lost.”

“I’m surrendering to you,” she said. “And if that means I have to lose so these people can go free, so be it. What you don’t seem to realize is this isn’t about me. It’s about the people who have lived in oppression for far too long. Levana’s rule is coming to and end.”

Aimery smiled. Opened his arms to the crowd. “Let it be known that on this day, the imposter princess surrendered to Her Majesty the Queen. Her crimes will be dealt with swiftly and justly. However, I promised that your lives would be spared if anyone were to give up the cyborg’s location. It is a great shame no one came forward sooner. I do not like being kept waiting.”

A shot fired. Maha fell to the ground. 

Wolf inhaled sharply, and Ling held back a cry.

Another gun fired, this one farther away. Aimery stumbled as his thigh soaked through with blood. Another shot hit the fountain. They were coming from the factory.

Wolf roared and lept foward. The nearest guard blocked his path, but he was too slow to shoot, and Wolf batted him away and rushed for Aimery.

Ling struggled to pull out the gun she’d stolen from a guard as the miners were forced to turn on them. She got out one shot, but she didn’t know if she’d hit anyone. 

Then she was on the ground. She kicked the person’s feet out from under them and used the momentum to pull herself to her feet. A guard rushed at her. He soon fell, blood soaking his uniform.

It took only one person to take her down, and she cursed her small size. A large man pinned her to the ground, and she couldn’t breath. The man’s eyes shone with regret as he was forced to keep her down, as he was forced to pull the gun from her hand. She was reminded her arm was not fully healed, because she was pretty sure it was bleeding again. 

“The shots are coming from that factory,” said Aimery, standing above them. “Send a team to search it, and bind these three before they try anything else.”

Her arms were pulled behind her, and she let out a yelp of pain. She was pulled to her feet, her knees buckling. Everything felt numb. 

Ling glanced around, and met Cinder’s gaze. Cinder’s eyes latched onto her arm, confirming that the wound had been opened again. 

She didn’t let any emotion show as the two of them and Wolf were forced to their knees in front of Aimery. She would not be afraid. Not anymore. 

I’m sorry, Aminah.

Taglist: @salt-warrior @yeah-asbestos @cinderswrench @linh-song @cindersassasin @healing-winston-pratt @just2bubbly @gingerale2017 @thestarryeyedsapphic @zephyr-thedragon @that-glasses-dog

[itsthenovelteafactor]

The Hargreeves + Love Languages

Not technically for Valentine’s Day, but the timing lines up pretty well! Here are my theories for the Hargreeves and their primary love languages. 💕

Luther: Words of Affirmation

“Sometimes these things just take time.”

Luther both expresses and seems happiest receiving affection through words of affirmation, which makes a lot of sense for him, given how Reginald used the faintest scraps of praise to earn his undying loyalty for years (the only positive about this man being back is that now the kiddos get a chance to kill him themselves). We see it in how he interacts with his siblings. When Allison confesses how lost and alone she feels after losing Claire, he gently encourages her. When he and Vanya begin to mend their relationship he instantly becomes her #1 hype man (we love to see it). Even Elliot! We also see how even the smallest encouragements from other people clearly mean so much to him, whether it’s his siblings, or, you know, Jack Ruby. 

Diego: Acts of Service

“I know what it’s like to love dangerous people.”

Ah, Diego “I have to save everyone, wtf is self care?” Hargreeves. Not only are acts of service the primary way he shows affection, they are also pretty much the only way he knows how to. Like, Diego will tie Klaus to a chair to help him get sober, and attack a bunch of angry vets for him, but when he tries to talk he ends up wistfully recalling the time Klaus got his mouth wired shut. He gets incredibly attached to people who help him, even if they have ulterior motives for doing so (read: Lila and to some extent Herb), and goes to ridiculous lengths to help them in return (literally throwing himself in front of a huge onslaught of bullets to protect Five). Which makes sense, considering his relationship with Grace really developed because she was willing to help him work on his speech when no one else would. 

Allison: Receiving Gifts

“I’m the luckiest man in all of Dallas.”

“Is that right?” 

Okay, first of all, Allison Hargreeves is 100% the kind of person to pick up little gifts for Claire literally every time she’s out of town. We see the two people in the series that know her best, Luther (who’s attachment I’m deciding to interpret as 100% familial... don’t ruin this for me) and Raymond, both give her gifts to show her how loved she is. Ray picks up a book for her, and she just about melts on the spot. She kept the necklace Luther gave her for years. We also see her giving gifts as a form of affection, from using her powers to get Ray a nice suit, to the “feast” she sneaks in for her and Luther as children. It makes a ton of sense for her as a character, too. I think on some level, Allison fears that none of her relationships are as real as she wants them to be, so having someone say “I was somewhere else and thought of you, here is something that it never occurred to you to ask for” means so much to her in proving that she is loved in return as fiercely as she loves. 

Klaus: Quality Time

“Logging in some quality bro time before the end of the world.”

We see multiple instances where Klaus is seeking out time with his family as a way of expressing affection. He leaps at any opportunity to accompany Five on a mission, and the aforementioned incident with Diego. He takes Allison and Vanya for tacos to spend time with them. He just wants to spend time with his family, y’all. It’s honestly kind of adorable. It’s how people show affection to him, too. Diego drives him places, and we see when Klaus is at a low point, he takes special care to come back in and check on him. It also makes sense for reasons of sad, because we know that Klaus is never really alone, and the constant presence of ghosts is dulled by spending time in other people’s company. Because of this, he associates spending time with the people he’s close to as being both comfortable and safe. 

Five: Acts of Service

“Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for my family.”

This little gremlin really went out and said “I’m going to save the whole entire world for my family,” like, honey. Doing stuff for people is the primary way he shows affection. He’s constantly fighting to save his family, and carries Dolores around constantly. He shows up when Vanya asks for help. We also see it in the way he responds to other people. Like, Hazel does one nice thing for him and he’s like “oh, we’re friends now.” Vanya makes him sandwiches to show him that he’s being taken care of. Reginald actually gives him legitimate advice for once. Donut shop guy (R.I.P) buys him his coffee. That small smile he gets in the elevator when they all show up to talk to Reginald together and he sees that they actually do care. Five has been doing everything by himself for so long, and having someone else step in, even if he won’t ever admit it, means the world. 

Ben: Physical Touch

“Can you hug me as I go?”

Ben was a little harder because we don’t really see him interact with that many people other than Klaus, but he really made it his mission to hug all of them, so it kind of works. The moment with Vanya, the hug with Diego, even how he just wants to occupy the same space was Jill as soon as he can, Ben just really wants physical contact with the people he cares about. The first thing he does when he realizes he can touch things is play patty cake with Klaus. Which makes the fact that he spent 20+ years incorporeal and unable to touch anyone... kind of devastating actually. It also makes sense because we know that Ben hates the destructive capabilities of the Horror, and the fact that someone is okay with being physically close to him means that they trust him and aren’t afraid.

Vanya: Words of Affirmation

“You’re plenty elegant.”

All things considered, it makes a lot of sense that words of affirmation would be the way Vanya feels most loved, most seen. Reginald Hargreeves verbally dismissed her whenever he had the opportunity, and we see her clinging to anyone who says nice things about her. Leonard talks her up constantly, and she falls for him instantly. In a much nicer (and more genuine) way, Sissy tells her frequently that she’s valuable, that she’s wanted. Vanya talks herself down a lot, and Sissy will not hear it, lol. We also see it in the way she reached out to other people! She’s so encouraging and supportive of Sissy. In a beauty parlor, she just gushes to both Klaus and Allison, “this family’s amazing” even though they’ve kind of just exposed themselves as the trainwrecks they are. It’s cute af.