#also idk like i know shinee is listed as one of the best but uh theres a couple reasons i havent tried them much

[hxney-lemcn]

The Guardian Angel Pt. 2 — John Ward x gn! angel! reader

summery: Sometimes, rules are better broken.

tw: uh...being in a mental hospital? Idk.

a/n: Is this chapter even good? I feel like I keep trying to make it deep but I do NOT know how to do that properly lmao.

wc: 0.7k

Master List

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

I watched John in silence. It hurt, seeing someone you care about treated terribly, but there wasn’t anything I could do. I already broke a rule, even if it was an accident. I felt truly helpless at the moment. 

“Angel?” John called out into the padded cell. “Are you still with me?”

My heart broke. I was tempted to answer, oh so tempted. But for all I knew, if I answered I’d be stripped of my rank, then I wouldn’t be able to help him. Lifting my hand up, I gently stroked his cheek. For him, it would feel like a light breeze, so I hope he understood what it meant. 

John turned his head towards me, and I felt my breath hitch. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that he actually saw me. His eyes, devoid of their usual light, seemed to shine, even if it was just a bit. At that moment, I felt a temptation no human has made me feel before. I just wanted to toss God’s rules out the window and reveal myself, if it brought back that beautiful shine of hope in his eyes. 

“I feel like I’m going crazy,” John spoke out.

I frowned, not sure what to do. I looked around, trying to calm myself down. Looking down at my hands, I finally made my decision. I bit my lip, hoping that I wouldn’t regret my next actions. And I knew I wouldn’t as John looked at me with awe. 

“You’re not,” I whispered, smiling softly in hopes of it being comforting. 

John only stared, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at his reaction. He was…cute. I rested my head on my knees, watching him recollect his thoughts. 

“I…I didn’t believe my own eyes when I last saw you…” John stuttered slightly. “I…still can’t find myself to believe it.”

I looked off to the side, trying to think of a way to comfort him. Looking back at him, I finally replied, “I understand, us angels haven’t been allowed to talk to humans in thousands of years. And with your situation specifically…” I looked around the padded cell.

“Am I an exception?” John asked. 

Once again, I looked away. I can’t lie, but I also don’t want to tell the truth. I don’t want him to feel worse than he already does. I notice John lower his head from the corner of my eye.

“God is merciful,” I said, not sure if I’m trying to comfort John or myself. “I’m sure he’ll understand.” 

This did not seem to comfort him, as he seemed to grow tenser. Maybe this wasn’t the best course of action. I internally berated myself, realizing my actions may have come from a more selfish nature. I pursed my lips, and I knew at that moment that whatever God decided, wouldn’t be as merciful as I thought. For I have chosen a selfish path, and I must atone for breaking God’s trust. 

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I have overstepped my boundaries.” I started to hide myself once more, only to be stopped.

“Wait!” John cried out desperately. “Don’t leave me alone…please.” 

My gaze landed back on his face, mapping every detail of it in my memory. If this will be my last moment of being an angel, I wouldn’t want it to end any other way. 

With a bittersweet smile, I agreed to stay, letting him lean against me in the cold white room. I wrapped my arm around him, gently messing with his hair. 

Yes, my actions were selfish, but even angels aren’t perfect. Is it really so wrong to indulge in something so soft? Finally being able to embrace someone was such a pleasant feeling. Like I said before, being an angel was a tough job. There was no time for anything other than your purpose, your job, your mission. Constantly moving from watching person to person. People think so highly of angels…but our job isn’t as glamorous as it seems. Yes, working for God was a beautiful and honorable thing, but it leaves no room for yourself. 

This was what made humans beautiful in my eyes. They had a chance to be an individual, their own being with their own purpose that they could choose. My gaze didn’t stray from John, wrapping one of my wings behind him. This time, I chose my purpose.

[newtthetranswriter]

Hello may I request a match up for Black Clover, Demon Slayer, and Jujutsu Kaisen please? :) I’m a straight female and my pronouns are she/her.

I’m very shy, distant, quiet, and a little awkward. Basically a huge introvert at first. However, once I get to know you better or I at least see that you’re comfortable around me, I’ll get comfortable as well :) And once that happens, you could say I become slightly more extroverted. I get louder, laugh more, and am overall less shy, distant, quiet, and awkward. I’m also very sensitive and have tons of trouble speaking up for myself. When getting yelled at or just insulted, I try and act unbothered but I think everyone knows that I’m holding in my tears at that point… (it’s really embarrassing ok don’t judge 🫠) But one thing I can say is that I’m somewhat funny. When I feel comfortable around people or just someone, I usually let more witty and funny comments out. The same goes for when I’m like shy Y’know? Its just that it’s much more less cause the last thing I want is awkward silence. Hobbies I have are photography, gaming, golfing, bowling, board games, jigsaw puzzles, and listening to music! My appearance usually consists of grey sweatpants, grey sweatshirt, and black boots— it’s usually my go to outfit since it’s pretty comfortable. At home, my hair is tied in a low ponytail. Outside however, my hair is let down. I let my hair down outside because I’m hella insecure about my side profile. I have a round face, curtain bangs, eye-bags, black hair, and really dark brown eyes :) some people say they look soulless but idk 🤷‍♀️ I think the only thing that’s preventing my eyes look completely soulless is the fact that I commonly express myself through reactions. I also tend to speak using a lot of “uh” or “um” because if usually when I don’t say those two words, I end up mixing up my words and my whole sentence just ends up sounding confusing 😬

A/n: Hello, I’m sorry this took so long but I hope you enjoy it. You are the first person to request Black clover so that was a nice change, I really enjoy it and hope more people request it soon. Anyway, have a great day and remember to hydrate or diedrate.

Black Clover: Finral Roulacase

Finral may come off as a player and like someone who cares to much for appearances at first but deep down he just wants someone who is kind and understands him

He doesn’t care that you like to wear sweats and relax all the time listening to music or reading, he loves relaxing with you

I can definitely see him trying to encourage you to get out of your shell and wearing your hair up outside of the hide out, but he won’t push it if you tell him to leave it alone

Finral just wants to take you to the most amazing places and show of his amazing girlfriend

If you’re at the hideout and Yami yells at you for something or Zora starts being an asshole, you bet Finral grows a back own for once and tells them to back off, he just doesn’t want to see you cry

He does enjoy when you start making jokes with Magna or Luck, the smile you get while laughing at their random arguments is the best thing in the world to him

Finral also loves your eyes, even if you or anyone else tries to say they look soulless, he just brushes it off and goes on to list how beautiful they are and that when the sun hits them just right they shine so magnificently.

Demon Slayer: Inosuke Hashibira

Inosuke is confused at first as to why you’re so quiet around him but after talking with Tanjiro and finding out you are probably shy, he tries to make you feel more comfortable

Making jokes and being his normal idiot self, somehow worked out the best way to make you comfortable is just be himself

When you start opening up and joining in on his jokes, he is so happy

Loves to try and get you to prank Zenitsu with him even if it’s just you distracting the blonde while he dumps water over the boy’s head

If anyone and I mean anyone makes you cry or almost cry they face his wrath, that includes the Hashira

Tengen makes a dumb comment that could be interpreted as an insult, Inosuke is trying to beat his ass. A demon calls you weak while out on a mission with him, that demon didn’t get another word out before its head was rolling across the ground

He’s very protective and will make sure you know he has your back

Also you are the only person he consistently call by their actual name, he never gets it wrong

Jujutsu Kaisen: Toge Inumaki

Toge completely understands being shy at first, after all he has to be careful around new people, cause they may find it odd he speaks in such a unique way

Once you are both comfortable around each other, Toge is his usual playful self and loves that you enjoy making jokes with him

He loves that you have such a wide range of hobbies, it means more fun date ideas

Going to the park and taking pictures of random things or each other, staying in and playing games while a collaborative playlist blasts in the background

Even if others may find it weird that you use filler words like ‘uh’ or ‘um’ all the time, he loves it because it show you are doing your best to communicate clearly even if you don’t have the same limitations as him

Toge just all around understands having trouble articulating what's on your mind so if you just need a break from talking he’s down to just cuddle or if you still want to express yourself he hands over his phone with an open notes app so you guys can type what you want to say

Also if he finds out someone made you cry or insulted you to the point you almost cried, they better hope he doesn’t find him because he will rock their world and he won’t even have to speak to do it, he’ll just beat their ass

[wickymicky]

i tried some other boygroups last night because i was really glad that i checked out bts to see for myself what they were really like, but idk, i feel like bts breaks the mold, ESPECIALLY with songs like idol, it doesnt even sound like kpop. i mean, of course it doesnt, it sounds like a south african dance track with elements of hiphop and shouts in the chorus from traditional korean storytelling. wild. nobody else did that. so yeah idk i only tried the first youtube result for 5 or 6 boygroups, just to get a feel for them, and like there werent any i felt were god-awful, but there werent any that really grabbed my attention either. idk, that’s true of a lot of girl groups i tried too, but at this point im so far down the girlgroup rabbithole that of course im gonna be encountering ones that didnt quite catch on. like, i took the first couple boygroups that i could think of and listened to those and wasn’t too impressed, whereas if i took the first couple girlgroups that came to mind i would be. i know because i was when i first heard them lol. like, comparing sf9, nct, exo, etc with red velvet, izone, even blackpink (for as much as i give it shit, kill this love took some real risks. in my personal opinion i dont think the risks paid off, but still)... and thats not even mentioning loona lol... idk, im not gonna like try to say boygroups are bad, it’s just that i find that girlgroup songs often are in a style that appeals to me a lot more. its not just that i like the members more or whatever lol, i’m bi lol it has nothing to do with attraction or whatever. even just based on absolute first impressions alone, girlgroups seem to vary more, even within their title tracks, which are usually the most formulaic (cause they have to appeal to the most people). as i said, bts in 2018-19 is something of an exception, they’ve kind of transcended kpop anyway, but if i compared one of their early songs, they’d fit the type of thing i’m talking about. 

boygroups seem like western boybands a lot of the time, theyre about seeming tough and/or sensitive, usually both at the same time. girlgroups are often about being cute and bubbly or being powerful and “bad-bitch” and stuff, but the way they achieve those aesthetics musically is more interesting to me than the boyband tough-and-sensitive musical aesthetic. a song like DKDK by Fromis 9 isnt as hard hitting as a song like Enough by SF9 (i only chose these two for the 9 lol), but its............. better............. catchier......... weirder.......... makes me happier.............. idk maybe im just not a fan of brooding lol, i like goofiness. even within music that goes hard as fuck, i dont like if its just brooding, i want you to be going WILD like CLC’s Hobgoblin does lol. I want the sound of the song to beat me up, even if I wasnt watching the video. and like in hiphop (which i think boygroups might trend more towards) i like when people are fuckin leaping around the stage or set, rapping their heads off. like BTS’s Idol, but also like the american rappers I listen to, like Jpegmafia and Danny Brown and shit. I know that’s a tall order to expect that kind of performance from kpop, but not because kpop cant do it, its just that they might avoid being too abrasive in their title tracks (maybe bsides would be like that?). but idk, some girlgroup title tracks are wild and kind of abrasive... so... 

and like, sure some girlgroups focus on looking cool or sexy or cute or whatever, but i often feel like there’s more to the aesthetic than that, though maybe that’s just the stuff i listen to. I haven’t found a major boygroup who makes videos like red velvet does lol... (except bts)

anyway this is a ramble

if you disagree and have examples please let me know! i want to be wrong about this! the six songs i checked out and wasnt impressed by were “enough” by sf9, “wakey wakey” by nct, “crown” by txt, “love shot” by exo, “spring breeze” by wanna one, and “say my name” by ateez. not to repeat myself too much but lemme pick six of the biggest girlgroups and list their first youtube result just to demonstrate the difference in style. “kill this love” by blackpink, “really bad boy” by red velvet, “butterfly” by loona, “violeta” by izone, “dalla dalla” by itzy, “bon bon chocolat” by everglow. i mean... like... idk all those songs are weird. rbb is actually one of red velvet’s less weird songs lol, but still. shrug. and those are just six recent 2019 ones. 

uh yeah but anyway if you know of some weird stuff or wanna lmk about another song from one of those boygroups that i’d like more, or you have something to say about those songs that i might not have picked up on, let me know! i like liking music more than i like disliking music, so i’d love to change my mind haha, i wanna like as much stuff as possible. 

edit: rbb wasnt 2019, my bad, but it was november 30th so still, all these songs have been within the last five months and theyre all more interesting to me than the bg songs i listed.

[m4nd0l0r]

Five Hargreeves Headcanons (That Have Consumed Every Single Space in my Mind-)

Description: “Live.. Laugh… Love the insanity the apocalypse brings me.” -Five Hargreeves, tired after a caffeine rush and/or from a drunken high. 2019. (this is canon.. HE TOLD ME HIMSELF)

Author’s Note: this is just how I’m dealing with writer’s block— i swear i’m still working on my upcoming Five fics- 😭😭 so uh have this for now i guess 🥲 no warnings btw!! its just me writing in lowercase a lot- a shit ton of crack and swearing- (five’s body is aged up- and his consciousness ranges from 30 to 50 in my works— however you decided which age you want for your experience :)))

Five Taglist (i forgot to tag im so sorry 😭): @ells-graveyard @noahspector @aelinismyqueen @sunweee @reinaeru @ne0boss @twauna00 @placidpluto @eichenhouseproperty @heartsforsuyin @ghostlywavelengths @technicallydifferenttraveler @seconds-not-decades @magical-girl-on-fire @emotionally-unstabel @peachy-wolfhard @its-loki-bitch @raven-fandomtrash @theilliterateskankula @magicstrange @ne0boss @venusrambles @whereintheworldisspencerreid @honeycombdumbass @mivzai @oscarisaacsleftballsack @zenithinthebin @peachteeaaa @rchaoz @wickedmystery @wordsandnerds @umbrellatte @666abby6666 @iameddiemunsonshair @starlightinhumanform @vennythearsonist @trashmouthsahra (if you want to be removed/added, pls tell me via pm!!)

he likes bitter coffee candy (if the mf cant get coffee he’d raid a candy shop rather than logically coming after a cafe-)

likes slasher films for how creative the deaths look (esp if its practical effects, he’s a sucker for those) (he likes nightmare on elm street, he gives me that impression for WHAT)

^ cos of this- i basically headcanon that in his commission days- he’d kill creatively- as if it were his canvas, my guy is an artist with blood 💪

idk why but he’d be an avid “gelato is NOT ice cream you idiot” typa guy (fucker knows italian and my ass RAN W IT)

he watches julia roberts romance movies (cos i like her rom films so im projecting-) (he def likes the maturity of the ending of my best friend’s wedding)

for some reason he considers mocha as chocolate rather than coffee (like the old man he is)

actually likes caramel, never tells anyone for no reason (fucking punk ass smh)

he’d say he hates animals but he’d give a pat to a dog/cat if he’d see one (but he’ll glare at the poor thing if it scratches him-)

from ptsd from the apocalypse- he tries to never indulge w small things like getting large amounts of food- cos he has the mindset that he “might need extra in case something bad happens”

he’d hate physical touch at first- flinching like a surprised cat on steroids— but he gets used to it slowly- and one person at a time

also i dont give a shit on what anyone thinks- FIVE IS A LITTLE SPOON IN HUGS— why you may ask? fucker is a touch starved ptsd filled mf- he needs those hugs ASAP- he would hold your hand 25/8 to reduce his paranoia i just know it (i PROPHESIZEEEE)

the first beer he drunk was a bottle he found in a post apocalypse alcohol store and the liquid was full w small grime and dirt- but he wanted to try some to “check off a bucket list”

LOVES dark comedies, he just does, he CACKLES when he watches one (but he only shows amusement when he’s alone, never w his siblings)

^ he’d also slap his thigh if he finds something soooo funny (old man behaviour smh)

has a personal vendetta against ppl who WOULDN’T put pineapple on pizza (klaus converted the grandpa and at first he felt gross eating it but as he continues he thought: “ok. this isn’t that bad.” the next thing you know, you see him on the phone calling the pizza place for 2 more boxes of hawaiian pizza—)

listens to edith pliaf RELIGIOUSLY (you would gift him a vinyl of hers and his eyes would SHINE) (the only time you saw his eyes the brightest-)

with modern music— he’d prolly like radio music (until you berate him and convert him to alt & indie rock)

has an odd fixation with guns and knives (like the papa he is) (would explain EVERYTHING ABOUT A SPECIFIC WEAPON) (he’s a nerd) (he’ll never admit it) (ever)

has a switchblade on his dominant arm pocket (he could use anything as a weapon, but he likes to be “prepared”)

like on s1, he’d pretend to be a kid and all innocent & shit to get free shit from strangers (you’d hop on the bandwagon and **nicely** ask him to get you stuff too.. he complains and says no but you’d see him on the next day with the shit you requested on his hands)

^ continuation with this— fucker prolly got a coffee machine cos he went up to some lady- went on, put a sad act, and went “oh no.. i dont got a gift to give to my dad.. he always wanted a coffee machine after ours broke” and the lady would have pitied his ass and bought a cheap but durable one for him— this would lead to a situation where the rest of the umbrellas try to take away the coffee machine away from his addicted ass-

viktor: should we?? do something??? diego: we’ve took THREE of those damn machines- what else can we do??? klaus: it’s like… he pulls it out of his ass.. you think he shits out coffee beans?? or is it just liquidated coffee at this point? you: i should call the ambulance before he falls off the window from the coffee… can’t deal with a cranky five.. luther: (is tired of it all and just wants to enjoy his married life) .. yes. please do.

in conclusion? never take away five’s coffee- he will drive you mad—

whenever he’s drunk- he acts like a goddamn sloth (esp if he’s comfortable with you- mf will CLING ON YOU LIKE SOME PARASITE—) (i wouldn’t mind tho 😏- i mean what?)

though as much as he likes bitter coffee- i see him DESPISE BITTER BEER, he would spit that stuff out of with the most offended face ever (all scrunched up like crumpled paper)

for my fellow filipino readers- he unfortunately SUCKS ASSSS when speaking in tagalog… you either tease the living fuck out of him about him or smile through your ear pain going “wow! galing! (amazing!)��� (no he was not amazing he sounded like a screeching tire or smth- /lh)

[kaeyas-beloved]

yo yo 😳 could i mayhaps request class 1a with a british transfer student that swears a lot? and it’s not posh southern british, it’s a hard northern accent (geordie more specifically) ty ty xx

Class 1-A w/ a Northern British Transfer Student who Swears a Lot

Class 1-A x British!Transfer Student!Reader (You) || BnHA

Genre: General/Crack-ish

Warning(s): Uh, none really... Allusions/Mentions of swearing??

a/n Hey hey, you absolutely can! I just hope you don’t mind that it’s headcanons and not a full scenario/one-shot ^^ Also, I’m really sorry if anything is portrayed wrong - I did some research for this request but I still might slip up once or twice... Anyway I hope you enjoy! Also also, I'm sorry for taking so long and if it's not the best! I really think I butchered this to some degree T~T

---------------------------

Okay so for this headcanon there can be a bit of a variation on the class' reaction and such depending on whether you swear in English or in Japanese

If You Swear In English:

Let's be honest: no one even knew you swore at first. English and Japanese are two different languages after all. President Mic isn't exactly teaching swears in English class either...

Every time you switch to English for a cuss the whole class just kinda tilts their head and goes "huh?"

Or, y'know, some might ignore you altogether if you aren't talking to them

The class' only real indicator that what you're saying is crude is if the situation is a more violent one (like if you're in a fight or angry)

A select few might actually catch what you say though. Namely Bakugou, his squad, Yaoyorozu and maybe Todoroki.

Let’s face it, Momo and Todo probably know a fair amount of English (private lessons or smth) and Baku and his squad know because learning swears is the first thing everybody does when learning another language

Out of the above, let's just say some may cover their mouth in horror while others smirk.

For any progress on this language barrier to be made it'll take poor, innocent Midoriya Izuku - with all the courage he could muster - to ask what those words you say so often mean.

And the shocked look on almost everyone's faces was priceless. You couldn't help but laugh and wish you had a camera to commemorate the moment their ignorance was shattered.

"But... but you say (insert English swear) so often!?"

"...Yes?"

The class will shutter if anyone is on the receiving end of your swearing. Or if you cuss all of a sudden, seemingly unprompted. There's something about the mix of a hard accent and not knowing exactly what is being said that can be rather intimidating...

"wHAt aRe yOU sAyINg!!??" < the class 81.63% percent of the time

If You Swear in Japanese:

If you calmly say a swear the moment you walk through the door on the first day I want you to count how many people choked on air. Do it - I bet half the class did. You can also bet Iida is on your case in an instant...

"(Y/N) can you please watch your language it is very inappropriate and unbefitting of a hero in training!!"

The nonchalant-ness at which you spout swears is enough to make heads spin. The class probably saw you as a second Bakugou in the beginning before getting to know you.

More likely than you think there have been times where one of the other teens had to vouch for you, saying that despite your crude language you're actually not a bad person and that they should get to know you before leaping to conclusions.

General:

It takes little to no time for everyone to settle into this norm. What did you expect - they all have to listen to Bakugou already - what's one more ill language classmate going to do?

Speaking of the blond: he def has a soft spot for the sole reason that you have such a potty mouth. Like hell he'd say it out loud, nor will he acknowledge it whatsoever. He just likes the fact that there's another person that has a bit of a rougher side to 'em.

Regardless of what language you swear in your accent still shines through, so the class is going to ask where you're from (more on that in a moment)

No one lets something as trivial as vocabulary stop them from befriending the transfer student. At the end of the day they all know you're a kind soul at heart. You are training to be a hero after all.

Everyone grows so used to your swearing they've gotten to the point of just calming asking what happened without looking up pls let make sense...:

"*swears*"

"*continues to scroll through their phone* You ok?"

"Yeah, just dropped my pen..."

If anyone (*cough Monama cough*) was to say something unpleasant about how you speak (accent or amount of swearing) the class will defend you in a heartbeat - guaranteed

-- A couple of extra things not related to the swearing aspect of the request:

The class definitely asks about your home town and country. How different is it from Japan? What kinds of foods are there? Are there things you have there that aren't in Japan?

Like I've mentioned there's a chance that the others won't know what you say (whether that's because of your accent or English vocabulary) so they may ask you to repeat yourself a time or two. Don't take anything personally though! They mean no harm! Just be a little patient with them at the start and soon they'll be able to catch what you say just fine :)

Still, they're all really fascinated by the contrast between Geordie and Japanese accents and how you're able to pronounce words in Japanese really well while originally having such a strong accent

The more adventurous students might ask if you could teach them slang or sayings from your homeland should they ever hear you say any yourself and grow curious (I read that there are certain phrases and such that northlanders say)

The class would no doubt surprise you by 'talking Geordie' (?), using both what you teach them, what they pick up and what they learn through personal research.

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Tag List: @tickotaku @decora-peaches (idk why it won't tag you T-T) @dorkylittleweirdo @thylocalcrackhead

. . .

Want to be tagged ? You can fill out this form (it just asks for your @ and what kind of content + which fandoms you want to be tagged for)! If you want to be removed, just send me a quick DM or ask!

[cringesideblog]

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3

[snowrobin-133]

A Happy Ending Yet to Happen

Characters: Xiao x F!Reader (Y/N), implied traveler x Xiao at end, ft. Venti and Paimon Fandom: Genshin Impact WC: 8.2k words Tags: character death, immortal(?) x mortal, grief, sadness, tears, angst, spoilers for Xiao’s voice lines and stories, Xiao might be slightly OOC in some scenes A/N: I’m pretty sure you can’t call Xiao an immortal since yakshas can die and stuff but like they live a long time so it sorta works HAHA. Also this hasn’t really been beta read and so there’s probably a couple of mistakes, sorry about that!

[EDIT] I FORGOT A PART FLIP- anyways yeah I accidently deleted a part somehow while it was in the doc??? Idk what happened but it’s back slkasdjasldaj

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In the center of Mondstadt’s square stood a fellow clad in green, playing a lyre as he weaved a tragic tale of an adepti and a mortal. The fellow first introduced himself as Venti before starting the tale to curious onlookers that stopped to listen.

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Many centuries ago, a young girl, in her twenties perhaps, clad in strange attire, arrived in Tevyat, injuries scattered across her body. She was somewhat near the Liyue Harbor of that time and the millileth found her, quickly bringing her to the doctor where she was treated. The injuries were severe as if she had been slammed with a heavy rock that flew out of nowhere. With some healing and herbs, the doctors managed to save her life.

After a couple of days, she awoke. The millileth arrived and they asked her many questions.“Where did you get those injuries? What were you doing out in the wild? Where did you come from?”

Every question they asked was either given vague responses or a simple “I don’t know”. It seems that she had lost her memory. The millileth was in a tight spot. They then asked her one last question, hope shining in their eyes, “What is your name?”

The girl looked down at her lap, searching through the hazy memories in her mind. One word stuck out to her, perhaps that was her name. After a few more seconds of pondering, she answered with, “Y/N.”  

-----------------

After a couple of weeks, Y/N was released from the hospital. She was given a home to stay in and got a job as a waitress in one of Liyue Harbor’s most popular restaurants. She quickly fit in with the atmosphere of the city and got along with the city folk, a drastic change from when she first appeared in Liyue.

After some time, Y/N decided to take a couple of weeks off to travel around Liyue, although not all of it, just to places she had heard of from customers and colleagues. Her first stop was near Dihua Marsh. According to what Y/N was told, on an islet of the marsh stood a stone pillar with a large golden-leaved tree sitting on top of it. There were also rumors of a young man, called the Conqueror of Demons, that would be seen in the area. There was little to no details of the man other than that he seemed to hold an anemo vision and fought with a polearm. 

Y/N was slightly curious about this man but thought little of him, being distracted with simply trying to get to the area unscathed first. The monsters that stood in her way were rather easy to trick and avoid. Some were slightly persistent but she managed to shake them off after a couple of minutes. Although she lacked her memories, she, strangely enough, seemed to remember some pointless, or in this case, useful survival tips. 

After a couple of days, Y/N arrived at the islet as the sun began to set. She decided to look around to set up camp but was quickly interrupted by the growls and yells of hilichurls. Looking around, she quickly spotted them, getting into a position to run if needed. Y/N then paused, noticing something sinister coming from them. 

“There’s something different about these hilichurls…” she murmured to herself, attempting to back away quietly and hide. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to notice her movement and she hid behind some bushes nearby. She noted that they seemed to be walking towards her and she quickly put a hand over her mouth and nose, muffling her breathing as she hoped they wouldn’t notice her.

Before they got too close though, something suddenly came out of the sky, slamming down into the ground with green-colored spears shooting out of the ground. The force of whatever had slammed into the ground nearly blew Y/N away but she thankfully only fell on her butt.

She quickly regained her balance and watched the scene unfold in front of her. As the dust cleared, she could see a young man with black and teal hair and green tattoos standing straight with a polearm in hand. 

He was a somewhat distance from her with his back towards her but his head then turned around, making eye contact with Y/N. She flinched at his piercing gaze but he quickly turned away. Y/N was unable to think more of it as the young man started fighting the hilichurls. As she watched him fight, a sudden bad feeling started to stir up in her stomach. With the bad feeling in mind, she decided to back away a bit more as the fighting got more and more intense. 

The young man handled the hilichurls quickly, treating them as if they were ragdolls. Y/N watched in awe and slight terror at his strength. In just a few minutes, the hilichurls laid on the ground, not moving at all, and the man stood over them with cold gazes. He then whipped around and walked towards Y/N.

Y/N flinched at the sudden attention and leaned back as the young man loomed over her. His glare pierced through her, making her sweat bullets, “I- uh...thank you…!” she squeaked out under his intense gaze. 

He scoffed before speaking, “Night. When the darkness comes to envelop you, Don’t stay outside,” he turned around, preparing to leave.

“W-wait! What’s… What’s your name?” she stuttered out.

He looked at her, pausing before saying, “Adeptus Xiao,” and seemingly evaporated as he looked away.

Y/N sat on the ground, frozen, as she attempted to comprehend what just happened. After a couple of minutes, she snapped out of her daze and decided to heed Xiao’s words. 

-----------------

Venti hummed a bit before speaking, “After that first meeting, the girl and the Adeptus would run into each other many more times. Each run-in brought the two closer and closer, far more than they would realize” he smiled mischievously.

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The first run-in with each other happened only a couple of months after they first met. Y/N hadn’t seen Xiao once since the incident and returned to Liyue Harbor with little trouble. She attempted to look up some more information on him but came up empty. The only thing she managed to find out was that he was a Yaksha, an adepti that protects Liyue from demons and mutants that appeared when gods fell during the Archon War. She figured that the hilichurls she saw Xiao defeat that day were likely mutants. 

I’m glad I didn’t get involved with them at all… Y/N thought to herself as she set up some tables early in the morning.

“Ah, Y/N!”

Y/N turned around to see her boss, “Ah, Zhang Wei*. Do you need something?”

“Yes, is it fine if I trouble you to find some of these ingredients for me? I’ll give you a couple of weeks off to do so!” He handed her a small piece of paper with a list of ingredients with locations listed next to the names.

“Ah… Sure,” Y/N took the piece of paper from him. 

“Thank you so much! I’ll be sure to pay you double for this!” Zhang Wei smiled.

Y/N nodded, her mind focused on the location next to Horsetail. Dihua Marsh. Y/N wondered if she would see Xiao again.

She decided her first stop would be Dihua marsh, hoping to see the young adepti once again. Y/N doubted she would see him again, but why not try?

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror of her small home, she wore simple clothes that would make traveling easier, and over her shoulder was a satchel to put the ingredients in. Double-checking that she had everything, Y/N put on her shoes and left her home.

Y/N finally arrived at Dihua Marsh, although she was on the ground and out of breath. She had already grabbed some horsetail just moments earlier but then a group of hilichurls came up. They were different from regular ones though and she noted that they were similar to the hilichurls she had seen when she first met Xiao. After a while, she finally managed to lose them by hiding in some large bushes.

She threw her head back, taking a large breath of air. “Damn those hilichurls, huff… Why must they all be so… persistent…!” she muttered.

“You’re lucky they didn’t find you out.”

“Yeah… Wait-!” Y/N jolted and whipped around, seeing the familiar cold stone face of Xiao standing behind her.

He closed his eyes and sighed, “It seems I’ve caused you trouble again. I apologize.”

“...Huh? How did you cause me trouble?”

“That is because the changes that occurred in those hilichurls came from me, or more precisely, from the karma I’ve accumulated.”

“Ah...but you just killed those monsters, right? So if anything, you did me a bit of a favor,” Y/N laughed quietly and smiled at him.

He scoffed, “Anyways, there will likely be more of these monsters, so you best watch out,” he then turned to leave.

Y/N jumped up, “Ah! Wait!”

“...What?”

“Can you, uh, act like a guard for me? I doubt I’ll be able to avoid those monsters like normal ones…” Y/N laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck.

“Huh? Why should I?” Xiao asked coldly, crossing his arms.

“I have no way of protecting myself and like I said, I doubt I’d be able to avoid those monsters like normal ones…”

“Hmph… You’re quite bold to ask me that.”

Y/N clasped her hands together, “Please~! Just for a couple of days! That’s all!”

Xiao stayed silent for a few minutes before speaking, “...Fine.”

Her head shot up as she looked at him in hope. Before she could speak though, Xiao spoke again. “But don't think about getting close, and stay out of my way, or all that awaits you is regret,” he warned.

Y/N looked at him in surprise and slight confusion before nodding, “Oh, alright. Thank you so much though! Oh! By the way, I’m Y/N”

Xiao didn’t understand why he was agreeing to protect this feeble girl. There was nothing special about her, no vision, no special aura, nothing. So why is he even wasting his time with her? He sighed as he watched the girl gather more horsetails in the area. “Reduced to being a guard for a feeble girl, how pathetic,” he muttered under his breath, yet he kept his guard up and watched out for her.

After Y/N gathered enough horsetails, the duo made their way to Quince Village to gather jueyun chilis. Night soon arrived and Xiao decided for them to rest, gruffly claiming “You humans barely have any stamina.” 

After a bit of searching, the two found themselves in front of some ruins by Wuwang Hill. As Y/N began setting up a camp, Xiao jumped up, landing on top of one of the ruined structures, “Go and rest. I'll be here,” and sat down.

Y/N tilted her head, “Aren’t you going to sleep as well?”

Xiao glared at her, “You think I sleep? You have no respect for the ways of the adepti!”

She flinched at his sudden outburst, “Ah, sorry…”

His hard glare softened into a cold gaze, “...Just go rest,” and turned away, looking out into the wilderness.

Y/N’s lips curled into a soft smile, He’s harsh… but I think he has a good heart she thought and quietly giggled, settling down into the makeshift bed she made and watched the night sky. 

The two continued to journey for another week before separating. Y/N arrived back in Liyue Harbor with all the ingredients collected feeling a bit more giddy than usual. Her friends in the city all noticed, asking who the lucky fellow is. Y/N simply laughed, telling them that she made a new friend.

-----------------

The next meeting was when Y/N was exploring around Mt. Tianheng as the sun hung low in the sky. She had finished work and decided to walk around. On impulse, she decided to go off the road and was walking past a waterfall when she noticed something in the grass. Raising an eyebrow, she decided to walk closer, only to see the familiar hair and clothing of Xiao. 

Y/N’s eyes widened in shock at the sight of blood and quickly looked over his unconscious body. She hurriedly opened her bag and searched through it, eventually finding a pouch of first aid items.

“I’m glad I had the foresight to pack first-aid items,” she sighed in relief and began to apply first aid. Y/N was surprised with how natural it felt to apply first aid as if she had done it countless times before. Perhaps she was some kind of doctor in the life she no longer remembered. Y/N quickly pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and focused on the injured man in front of her. 

After some time, she had patched up all of the severe injuries and she looked over the rest of his body as Xiao awoke.

“Ah! You’re awake! Phew…”

“... What are you doing here…?” he asked groggily.

“I was taking a walk, and anyways, I should be asking you that!”

He attempted to sit up but flinched and Y/N quickly went to help, “Don’t touch me.”

“Huh? But you’re hurt and-”

Xiao quickly cut her off, “Prolonged interaction with adepti will become dangerous, as your souls are not as robust as ours are.”

Y/N glared at him, “We’ll worry about that later! Can you move a little at least?”

“Hmph, of course I can.” 

“Then let’s get you out of the open, it looks like it’s about to rain soon.”

“... Fine.” Xiao finally allowed her to help him up and to lead him away from the open. They decided to take a rest in the cavern behind the waterfall, rain beginning to fall as they neared the cavern. 

As Xiao settled down against the wall, Y/N noted that it was colder thanks to the mist flowers that grew nearby. Standing up, she took off her coat, passing it to Xiao. “Here, it’s cold.”

“My body is used to these temperatures. Your body is not.”

Y/N sighed, “And who exactly is the injured one out of us?… Just take it,” she dropped the coat on his lap before turning away to set up a fire. Xiao sighed, too exhausted to argue.

As the fire blazed alive, Y/N asked, “... What exactly happened to leave you passed out in the grass?” 

“... It’s none of your concern,” Xiao answered coldly.

Y/N sighed, “...Alright.” 

Xiao paused before speaking, “In the thousands of years that have passed, I have taken countless wraiths. If you want no trouble, stay away from me.”

Y/N looked at him in surprise, “... Like I’m gonna do that,” she stuck her tongue out at him and he scoffed in response. Y/N sighed, opting to not say anything more, and turned her attention back to the fire as she began to make something with what little ingredients she had.

After ten or so minutes, she decided to speak up, “... Is there anything troubling you, Xiao?”

“Trouble..? Hmph.. trouble means nothing to Adepti. There is no trouble that can last for a thousand years” Xiao glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

“Ah…”

“...Don’t worry needlessly about me, as I said, you should stay away from me instead of getting closer.”

“You’re still going on about that, huh? Well, guess what! I’m just as stubborn as you so I’m not gonna leave you alone!”

Xiao sighed, “... What a menace…” he muttered.

Y/N pouted in response as she handed him a plate of Almond Tofu, “Here, eat up.”

“...Isn’t this a dessert?”

“Haha, yeah it is… but the ingredients it needed are the only things I had on me that I could turn into a meal, and besides it’ll boost your strength!”

Xiao sighed, “Human meals are rarely ever good.”

“Just try it, Xiao, you need food to get back on your feet y’know!” 

“I’m an Adeptus, my body does not follow the same rules that your bodies do,” he scoffed yet reluctantly put a spoonful in his mouth. 

Y/N pouted in response and turned away, preparing a dish for herself.

Xiao swallowed down the spoonful before speaking, “... dreams.”

“Hm?”

“It tastes like the dreams I once devoured.” 

Y/N paused before staring at him as if he had grown two heads, “... I, uh… Is that a good thing…?”

Xiao opted to not answer, instead, he ate another spoon of the almond tofu. Y/N sighed, deciding that it would be useless to try and pry further. The two ate in silence, listening to the rain pitter-patter outside of the cavern.

Y/N cleaned up the area a bit before leaning against the wall, putting a distance between her and him, and relaxed. Her head turned to the cavern’s entrance, making note of the heavier rain, “It looks like the rain won’t let up anytime soon…” and closed her eyes, falling asleep.

After a couple of minutes, Y/N’s breathing had become slow and steady. Xiao wondered if this was because of the prolonged contact between him and her. 

Once confirming she was asleep, Xiao stood up and walked towards her. He wrapped the coat she had given him around her, whispering a quiet “thank you”. He raised his hand, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear before standing up. His eyes remained on her as he made a conscious decision to avoid her as much as he could. The more contact she had with him, the more danger she would be in. Gazing at her for a few more seconds, he turned around and disappeared. 

Y/N awoke late at night, quickly noting that there was a warm weight on her. As the grogginess wore off, she noticed that the weight was the coat she had given Xiao. Speaking of Xiao, he was no longer where she last saw he was. 

“Ah… he must’ve left already… He better not have reopened his wounds.”

-----------------

The next meeting was several months after that incident. Even after traveling to Dihua Islet several times, Y/N did not see Xiao once, even if she had brought almond tofu with her. Y/N wasn’t completely sure if he did actually like her almond tofu but she was going to take any chances to get to see him. Thinking back to their time in the cavern, Y/N wondered if he was trying to distance himself because of the energy situation. She could understand the reason but still couldn’t help but miss the yaksha.

Y/N stared at her cup of tea, lost in thought wondering where Xiao was, as she hung out with three of her friends. They were talking about some kind of gossip when one of them noticed her silence and smiled mischievously, “Y/N~?”

Y/N quickly snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her friend with a hum, “Yes?”

“Just what are you thinking so deeply about? Ever since you went on that journey of yours, you’ve been staring out into space way more than usual~” she teased.

Y/N flinched at her observation and laughed, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about…”

Her friend pouted, “Oh don’t be like that Y/N~! Tell me! Please?” By now, the other two had noticed and began joining in.

Y/N simply laughed with a shake of her head, “No way!”

“A shame…” her friend hung her head and so did the others as they sighed dramatically, albeit did nothing in changing Y/N’s mind. It’s not likely that they would believe in her tale of becoming (sort of) friends with an adepti, a yaksha that vanquishes demons at that. Anyways.

“At least tell us if you’re thinking about a guy !” one of her friends leaned on her as she laughed, deciding to cave in a bit.

“Alright, alright,” at that, her friends perked up immediately, all eyes on her as she looked away, slightly blushing, “... it is a guy.”

They all gasped dramatically, “Oh my! What’s he like?!” they all asked excitedly.

Y/N decided that it wouldn’t hurt to tell them a small bit, “Hm… he’s a jerk that’s cold and rough,” she giggled at her description of him, “…but he’s still a caring person underneath it all.”

Her friends shared a knowing look with mischievous smiles, “It sounds like you got a crush, Y/N~” one of them teased.

Y/N laughed, “Even if I do, it’s not like I’d tell the three of you.”

“A pity.”

“So when are we gonna meet him?”

Y/N smiled at them, “never,” and sipped her tea. 

“Oh come on~ Whyy?” they whined. Y/N only laughed, not answering any more of their questions about Xiao. After a couple of minutes, they gave up on trying to pry answers out of her and moved onto other topics. 

Y/N walked home, humming to herself, planning her next trip to Dihua Islet, “Hm...I wonder if I should bring something else other than almond tofu…”

“Stick with the almond tofu. Other mortal foods are things I can’t stomach.”

“Huh, is that so- wait-” Y/N whipped around to see the familiar face of Xiao leaning against a pillar with his arms crossed, wearing his signature frown. She quickly gasped, “Xiao! I was so worried about you! But wait, what are you doing here in the harbor?!” Y/N remembered the journey he had accompanied her on, how he had mentioned hating crowded and loud places. Although the area they were in at the moment was deserted and quiet, the noise of the marketplace could still be heard.

“The constant offerings of Almond Tofu and notes were beginning to get annoying,” he remarked bluntly, making Y/N flinch.

“A-ah, sorry,” Y/N laughed as she scratched the back of her neck.

He glanced at her and sighed, before tossing an item to her. Y/N quickly caught it with both hands, looking at her hands in surprise. “...What’s this?” she asked as she took a look at the item, seeing that it was a butterfly made of leaves.

“... It’s an adepti amulet I made. It staves off evil.”

Y/N eyes sparkled in awe as she looked at the beautiful details of the amulet, “Thank you… but why?”

“You mentioned your day of birth was near this time,” Xiao bit his lip, deciding not to mention that he thought the celebration of someone’s birthday was something he considered redundant. Why he kept his thoughts to himself would be a mystery to himself, but perhaps it had something to do with her happy expression.

Y/N glanced at him in surprise, “Oh wow! You remember that?!”

“Hmph, I was simply reminded of it from that last note of yours.”

“Geh-!” Y/N flinched as the memory of writing her last note to him flashed by, “... I forgot I wrote that…” she looked away with an awkward grin.

“Hmph, I will take my leave now.”

“Ah! Wait!”

“...What?”

Y/N looked at him from head to toe, “How are your injuries?”

Xiao sighed, “They’ve healed already, you need not worry.”

Y/N pouted at him, “How am I not going to worry? You disappeared for countless months without letting me see you once!”

“Did you forget what I had said? Mortal souls are-”

“Are not as robust as yours are,” Y/N finished with a sigh, “Even so, can’t we just meet up regularly? Like every couple months or so!”

Xiao stared at her pleading expression and sighed, “It is not wise to do so.”

Y/N sighed, “Ok then… let’s exchange letters!”

“...Letters?”

“Yeah! We can talk regularly without any physical interaction!”

Xiao sighed and attempted to answer, but was quickly cut off with a pang in his head. He grimaced as he flinched and held up a hand to his temple.

Y/N drew closer at his pained expression, “Are you ok?” she asked, panicking.

“Their voices... I can always hear them. Their screams, their cries, demanding more death... This is my burden to carry. It has nothing to do with you.”

“...But I’d like to at least help,” she smiled sadly at him.

“And just how do you plan to do that?”

“Umm…” Y/N then raised her hands to his face, stopping as he flinched away, “ah, sorry, uh, can I?”

“... Fine,” Xiao muttered, a faint tint of red on his cheeks, and leaned forward, flinching slightly at the feeling of Y/N’s hand on his face. “... Just how is this helping?” his body rigid in her hold.

Y/N pouted, “I’m trying my best! And anyway, just try to relax,” she murmured, avoiding his piercing gaze as her thumbs began rubbing circles on his cheeks.

Xiao sighed, pulling away, “This isn’t really helping me.”

Y/N pulled her hands away with a sigh, “that’s a shame…” she muttered. She then brightened as she thought of something, “Oh! Maybe we can make some kind of potion or medicine that’ll help!”

“...I understand your intentions, but mortal medicine has no effect on Adepti.”

“Wait, seriously?!” Y/N slumped over with a groan, “I’m sorry…”

“As I said, this has nothing to do with you, you do not need to spend your time helping me.”

Y/N looked down, “... Even though it has nothing to do with me… it still hurts to see you in pain as well.”

“...You better not be pitying me.”

“Of course not! I’m being empathetic!” “Huh? Isn’t that the same thing?”

“No! Of course not! Pity and empathy are two different things!” Y/N then went on a rant about the differences as Xiao sighed. Yet he didn’t feel annoyed, instead, there was a warm fuzzy feeling that replaced it. If he hadn’t noticed it, he would’ve let a small smile slip as well.

-----------------

Like Y/N had proposed, the two began exchanging letters. Her letters were usually long-winded and filled with emotions while Xiao’s were short and blunt, reflecting his personality, which amused Y/N. They only exchanged a few letters due to Y/N being unable to go out of Liyue Harbor often, but within those few letters, they found their attraction to each other growing.

Y/N stared out the window in a daze. In front of her was some paperwork from the restaurant, albeit she paid no mind to them. Instead, she found herself thinking about Xiao. She was quickly snapped out of her thoughts as she noticed a light in the sky. It was far in the distance but Y/N quickly realized that it was a lantern.

“Right, it’s almost time for the lantern rite… I wonder if I can convince Xiao to come by…” With a sigh, Y/N returned to the papers in front of her, making a note to ask him later.

Sometime later, Y/N finally finished the letter. Written in it was the general stuff she normally wrote with updates on her life and some interesting trivia she learned recently. At the end of the letter, she made sure to mention the lantern rite. “By the way Xiao, did you know the lantern rite’s coming up? You should come by to watch the mingxiao lantern! I heard it’s super amazing!” 

With a smile, Y/N closed the letter and prepared to leave the harbor. As she was preparing, a sudden and small thought popped up in her mind. I wonder what Xiao looks like smiling…. Y/N blushed as soon as the thought registered in her mind and shook her head. 

Quickly she set out for the designated area that they left their replies. Dihua Islet. Xiao often wandered in that area which made it an area that they would both find the replies easily. Silently, Y/N hoped that she would also get to see him once she arrived there.

Surprisingly, her small wish would come true. As she arrived at Dihua Islet, Y/N’s eyes were quickly caught by the familiar figure of Xiao sitting on one of the boulders on the islet. A smile appeared on her features as she quickly called out his name, “Xiao!”

Xiao turned at the familiar call of his name, greeted with the sight of Y/N rushing towards him with the oh-so-familiar smile that made his stomach turn in knots. He nodded as a greeting and he jumped off the boulder, meeting her halfway.

Her grin grew in size at the acknowledgment, even though butterflies began to flutter in her stomach. She quickly rummaged through her bag and took out the letter, handing it to him. “By the way… The lantern rite is coming up,” she informed him.

“The lantern rite? The time for humans to discard their glowing trash into the sea has returned, how childish…” 

Her smile quickly dropped, “... You really think that?”

“I do… the hatred and residual energy of the dead gods from some centuries ago sometimes erupt, and they often erupt in a large scale during this troublesome festival.”

“...And so you’re the one that’s fighting every time, right?”

“Yes.” “... It doesn’t happen every lantern rite though, right?”

Xiao glanced at her and sighed, “...No.”

“Then could you at least stop by to watch the mingxiao lantern? It’ll be worth your time! I promise!”

Xiao watched her as she stared at him with desperate eyes. He did not wish to admit it, but he knew deep inside that he couldn’t say no, and eventually gave in, “...If you insist, I will go with you.”

Y/N’s expression quickly lit up with a smile and she cheered, “Yay! I know a great place outside of the harbor that we can meet at to watch it!”

Xiao watched as she grabbed a map of Liyue out of her bag and began pointing at areas where they could watch it. Although he didn’t say it out loud, he was grateful that she was picking areas where there wouldn’t be many people. Nor would he say that he was growing nervous at how close she was, or how he was looking at every detail of her delicate face, or...

After a couple of minutes, they made arrangements to meet and watch the mingxiao lantern. As she walked away after (reluctantly) saying their goodbyes, Y/N internally celebrated with glee, a light pink blush tinting her cheeks.

The day finally came, the night of the Lantern Rite and when the large mingxiao lantern would be released into the sky. Y/N spent the first half of the day serving customers at the restaurant before returning home to prepare for her meeting with Xiao. She had everything in her bag but was quickly distracted when she noticed a food stall. Although Xiao couldn’t stand most human foods, this particular food stall was selling Almond Tofu. With a smile, she quickly bought some almond tofu as well as food for herself before setting off to find Xiao.

As Y/N arrived at the meeting place, she quickly spotted the lonesome figure of Xiao, standing at the ledge. She quickly called out his name and jogged up to where he was, handing him the almond tofu.

“... why did you get me this?” He asked, although took the plate.

Y/N smiled, “Because the lantern rite isn’t just about the lanterns! Plus I was hungry…” she quietly admitted the last part with a pout. Xiao released a huff of air and the two ate in silence, waiting for the time that the mingxiao lantern would be released. 

After some time, Y/N figured that it must be getting close so she gave him a piece of plaustrite and a carving tool as she took out two xiao lanterns.

“What are these for?” Xiao asked, motioning to the plaustrite and carving tool.

“We carve our wishes on these, then we stick it into the lanterns and let them float away!” she explained to him.

Xiao took the plaustrite and carving tool with a huff, “How exactly will these grant our wishes?”

“Hm… I’m not sure,” Xiao looked incredulously at her as she laughed. He sighed and glanced at the plaustrite sitting in his hand.

Y/N calmed down before she thought about what to wish for. A wish then popped up in her mind after a few seconds, “I wish to spend more time with Xiao”. She blushed at the wish, but deep inside, she knew it was the one thing she wanted more than anything. Steeling her resolve, she quickly carved the wish into the plaustrite with a faint blush on her cheeks. 

Xiao finished carving and glanced at Y/N before quickly looking back down at his own piece of plaustrite. He didn’t write a wish for himself since he didn’t have any wishes or desires. So, he decided to go with a statement, a promise. “If she finds herself clinging onto the past, reluctant to move on, I shall quietly remember the memories in my heart for her”. 

The two placed the plaustrites into their own respective lanterns before letting them fly into the air. They stood close to each other, their hands brushing against each other, as they watched their lanterns fly mingle in the air with the many other lanterns. 

After a couple of minutes, Y/N glanced at Xiao from the corner of her eye, spotting a small smile of awe appearing on his face. Her eyes widened at the sight of the rare smile and blushed before quickly looking away and into the sky. Tightening her jaw, she made the risky move of interlocking her pinkie finger with his. Y/N expected him to pull his hand away, and he did, yet he quickly returned his hand to interlock his slim fingers with hers. Y/N’s eyes widened again, a deep blush spreading across the rest of her face, as she looked down and squeezed his hand. Unbeknownst to her, painted on Xiao’s face was also a deep red blush.

----------------- [Edit: this is a part that got deleted accidently but it’s back lol]

Xiao found himself puzzled. Recently, a strange mortal had been hanging around him, wanting to get closer to him. Even stranger was that he felt the same way, wanting to get closer to them. The feeling and fluttering in his chest and stomach were foreign and even a tinge disgusting. Yet he seemed to crave more, more of their smile and expressions, more of the peace that surrounds them. He knew better though. Yet he found himself persisting against the knowledge of the mortal soul.

Xiao found himself falling deeper into the rabbit hole. Perhaps he could find momentary peace with the mortal. 

Y/N was traveling to Dihua islet, wanting to check if Xiao had left a reply to her previous letter, as well as a chance to actually see him in person. If he didn’t, then she had a letter to put in its place. On her journey, she encountered a traveler, who had told her that there was a group of treasure hoarders camping by the main road. She was told to either go back and or to take a detour. Y/N was confident in her skills though and decided to continue traveling through the main road.

What a bad decision that was.

As Y/N passed some ruins, a small blade flew past her face, barely grazing her nose. She gasped, slapping a hand over her nose as she stepped back. Quickly checking her hand, she sighed in relief at the lack of blood before looking up.

Stepping out of some bushes was a small group of men dressed in the clothing of the treasure hoarders. Y/N eyes widened, cautiously taking a step back.

One of them snickered, “Scared little girl? No need to be. We only want one thing.”

Another threw their shovel over their shoulders, “Right, just give us your stuff and we’ll leave you alone.”

Y/N glared at them, pushing her bag to rest on her back instead of the side, “Like I’m giving you all the stuff I worked my butt for.”

“Hmph, you’ve got a pretty face but a pretty bad sense of danger. Fine, we’ll just take it from you with force.”

Y/N tensed, preparing to run as the treasure hoarders came after her. Quickly turning around, she attempted to make a run for it. Before she could even lift her leg, an arrow pierced her calf, with a scream. Blood splattered onto the ground and she collapsed, “Ack-!”

Pain seared through her from her leg up and sat up with a groan. Shadows loomed over her and Y/N whipped around, seeing the Treasure hoarders smirking above her.

The one with the crossbow grabbed her by the wrist, “If you don’t want to get even more hurt then hand over your stuff.”

Gritting her jaw, Y/N twisted her hand around to grab the man’s wrist, twisting it to release her. He yelped in surprise before being pulled to the ground. Y/N stood up while she could in the shock of the moment and attempted to run. The arrow stuck in her calf made it difficult to run but the adrenaline rushing through her numbed the pain. 

Before she could even get far, a barrage of arrows flew towards her, multiple hitting her and throwing her to the ground. With a screech of pain, she collapsed, arrows sticking out from many limbs of her body.

As she laid on the ground, her mind wandered to Xiao’s smiling face. It was merely a glimpse into his softer side, but she remembered that that mere glimpse was enough to make her fall even deeper into the abyss of love. As her consciousness began fading in and out, she whispered his name, “Xiao…”

The treasure hoarders that stood over her were suddenly thrown to the ground, skidding away from the force that had crashed into them. Y/N squinted up, spotting the familiar black and teal hair of the young yaksha. “I’m here,” he announced, glancing at her.

“Mhm…” She smiled as tears clouded her eyes.

To the yaksha, seeing the state Y/N was in as she laid on the ground brought the deepest depths of his fury to the surface. He turned his gaze to the treasure hoarders, tightening his grip on his polearm before bringing swift justice to them, albeit not killing them. The treasure hoarders laid on the ground, groaning and moaning in pain. 

“Worthless,” Xiao muttered coldly, allowing his polearm to disappear. Xiao turned around and walked towards the injured Y/N. He knelt beside her, picking her up gently, a stark contrast to his hard glare, and avoiding the arrows that stuck out of her.

Feeling the warmth of Xiao, Y/N smiled, snuggling into him as she tried to ignore the pain of her wounds. “Thank you...Xiao,” she whispered. 

Xiao didn’t reply but he tightened his grip on her. He then spoke, “If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door, call out my name. Adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call.”

Y/N pulled away slightly and met his strong gaze. As his words registered in her mind, she could feel her eyes start to water again, and whispered his name, resting her head on his chest “...Xiao.”

Xiao’s strong gaze softened at the whisper, “I’m here.”

The tears clouding Y/N’s vision began to fall as she whispered his name many more times, fisting his clothes and burying her face into his chest. Xiao tightened his hold on her comfortingly, replying every time she whispered his name. 

Some time passed and Xiao had taken Y/N somewhere safer. Dihua Islet. Where he treated her injuries. Due to the amount of blood and tatters on her, Xiao had thought she was more severely injured, but thankfully, none were severe.

Y/N sat on the ground, trying to stay still as Xiao treated the injuries on her arm. She stayed quiet before her eyes wandered to Xiao’s stern expression. Her eyes then fell to his lips, finding herself wondering what it felt like to kiss them. Her eyes widened as she realized what her thoughts were and quickly shook her head, a raging blush on her cheeks.

Xiao glanced up, an eyebrow raised at her sudden outburst. He dropped back down to her arm before speaking, “...It's too late now, you know. The connection between us is too strong. Even if you wanted to, it's too late to sever it.”

Y/N shook out of her flustered state, glancing at him, “Huh? Why would I do that?”

Xiao raised his head in surprise, “... You've never thought to sever it?” he paused and sighed, “This eternal dance of demon subjugation... My fight goes on… But… I would like to know more about you.”

Y/N stared at him in surprise, before her features softened into a small smile, “I want to know more about you too, Xiao…”

The two fell further into the rabbit hole. Deciding to risk everything for the peace they found in each other.

-----------------

Time passed and Y/N’s memory came back in small pieces, but they were enough for her to know a general amount of her past. She came from far away, perhaps a different world, that was far more advanced than the places here in Tevyat. The clothes she first arrived here in as well were similar to what the people wore in her memories as well.

After remembering more and more of her past, she decided to look into the other 7 nations of the continent, hoping to find her home. She brought home some books on the other nations to her house. After only a couple of hours, Y/N figured out that her home didn’t belong to any of the 7 nations. Many were far from advanced than the places she remembers in her memories. 

“I guess I am really in another world…” she spoke to herself quietly. Y/N wasn’t sure what to make of this. Perhaps she had a happy life in her original world, happily living with people that she no longer knew. But now this world had also become a home to her. At the thought of home, her mind flashed to Xiao.

Her cheeks heated up and she rested her head in her arms, warm feelings bubbling up within her. Xiao had only held her for less than an hour when she had been attacked, yet the warmth and gentleness of his hold were addicting. Y/N missed it. She glanced out the window, finding that the night was rather lonely.

After the incident with the treasure hoarders, Xiao decided that he would come to her instead of Y/N coming to him at Dihua Marsh. Y/N first protested, bringing up his distaste of crowded areas, but the yaksha was stubborn. Eventually, she relented, but she came to enjoy the monthly visits of the Yaksha. 

She perked at the knocking sound of the door to the balcony. With a smile, Y/N stood up and walked to the door, seeing the familiar Yaksha leaning against the railings of the balcony. Opening the door, she grinned, “Hey, Xiao.”

Xiao simply nodded but didn’t come inside. Y/N crossed her arms behind her, contemplating a slightly bold question. He noticed her contemplating gaze, throwing a gruff “What is it?” at her.

Y/N tilted her head, “... Can I hug you, Xiao?”

Xiao jumped at the question, his eyes wide and a blush beginning to adorn his cheeks, “Just what are you asking? Do you have no respect for the adepti?”

Y/N giggled quietly, “It’s a yes or no question, Xiao.” Xiao grumbled, not replying. Y/N giggled again, holding her arms open, “Well?”

Xiao sighed, holding his arms slightly open as well, unable to find it within himself to refuse her. Y/N giggled, walking towards him and wrapping her arms around his slim waist. Xiao tensed at the touch but slowly relaxed in her warm embrace. Within a couple of minutes, he wrapped his arms around her as well and rested his head in the crook of Y/N’s neck. Y/N glanced at him in surprise at how quickly he relaxed in her embrace but smiled. Her arms tightened around him, smiling at the familiar warmth of his embrace.

The unspoken words of “I love you” were stuck in both of their throats, yet pushed it down so as to not break the peaceful atmosphere of the hug. Xiao found that all of the yelling and screaming of the voices within his head would quiet down while Y/N found warmth and comfort on a lonely night. Neither wished to let go so they didn’t, enjoying the peace in each others’ presence.

It was unfortunate that the peace they found in each other would disappear as fast as they had first discovered it.

-----------------

Y/N was feeling great and energetic, but that mood quickly went sour as she collapsed. Kneeling on the floor, a series of loud coughs shook her body. As her hand drew away from her mouth, Y/N's eyes widened in shock at the sight of red liquid, dribbling down her palm. She was unable to think further about it as her arms gave out, falling on her side with the cold tile.

People around her panicked, yelling for healers, doctors, anyone that could help her. Their yells were quickly drowned out though, as Y/N succumbed to sleep.

The week that passed was nothing but a blur to her. Only remembering different people doing different things to her. They tried speaking to her, asking her about how she felt. Y/N could only mutter incomprehensible words in reply.

As the middle of the second week arrived, the healers and doctors deemed that she was beyond saving. Her friends came to see her, although Y/N could barely pay attention to them as her vision blurred. 

Before the healers and doctors retreated back to their offices riddled with guilt, they provided Y/N with painkillers, hoping that it would save her from further pain. As they closed the doors, they could hear the pitiful girl mutter out one word, 

"...Xiao..."

The door closed with a loud echo and Y/N succumbed to sleep once more.

Y/N awoke to a hesitant and rough, yet gentle, touch to her forehead. She could recognize that touch from anywhere after countless hugs despite the warnings. She leaned into his touch. The touch of the one she found herself growing to love. Y/N opened her eyes slowly, meeting the familiar golden eyes of Xiao. She smiled weakly, softly whispering his name.

He lifted his hand, a bitter and heartbroken expression crossing his face. He bit his lower lip before he found himself revealing all of his guilt to the frail one under him.

"Why...why must a foolish mortal like you continue to be around me…? You are only like this because your soul cannot handle being around adepti like me…I told you that, yet you continue to be near me, and now, here you are, dying."

He drew his hand away, the radiating warmth of his fading away. Y/N weakly reached for his hand, grasping it weakly. "...I stayed, beside you because, because I… I love you, Xiao," they whispered.

Xiao's jaw tensed, "Don't be foolish, us adepti would never be able to understand you mortals' emotions."

Instead of pouting like they normally would, Y/N simply laughed weakly, "You're right… but that doesn't... stop me from loving you, Xiao…"

Xiao growled quietly, and sharply took back his hand from the weak grip of Y/N, turning around to the window to leave. Barely getting more than five steps away, he heard a large collision to the floor. Whipping around in alarm, he saw Y/N attempting to sit up.

Without realizing it, Xiao took a few large strides, kneeling down next to them and helping them up. Although as soon as his hand had come into their sight, they quickly grasped his hand. Slowly lifting their head up, Xiao was taken aback to see tears falling down their cheeks. Before he could scold them, Y/N weakly began to speak.

"It's… it's fine, if you...if you don't like me back… but please, please don't leave me alone," They rested their head against Xiao's chest, clinging to his shirt now, "Please, please don't let me die all alone again…"

Xiao was tempted to take their hands off of his shirt but was taken aback at their last sentence. Although confused, he gave in after a few minutes of silence, awkwardly resting his hands on top of their head and back as Y/N cried into his chest. He didn't understand what they meant, but it didn't matter. Because he's known for a long time by now that he could never say no to Y/N.

“...You’re a foolish mortal, Y/N,” he gruffly whispered as Y/N calmed down. They froze at the whisper of their name coming from his lips, realizing it was the first time Xiao has ever said their name. Finally processing what he had said, Y/N smiled weakly.

“I guess I am.”

Xiao shifted and maneuvered their body so that he was holding them in his arms. He stood up slowly, and placed them back into their bed, tucking them in. Y/N allowed themself to soak in the gentleness and comfort of Xiao’s touch.

They turned to their side, resting their right hand on top of Xiao’s hand. He flinched at their touch but made no move to remove his hand from theirs. Her eyes shifted from their hands to his golden eyes as he stared outside the window. Xiao’s golden eyes were always beautiful, but the beauty couldn’t hide the spark of sadness and guilt in his eyes. Y/N wanted to wish those emotions in his eyes away, wishing that she could’ve made her wish about wanting him to always be happy instead of wanting more time with him. 

Y/N snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Xiao’s voice, “...You should rest,” his eyes shifting to her own.

“...But-”

“Sleep. I will be here when you awake,”

Both of them knew Xiao was lying, a lie to bring her comfort in her final moments. 

Y/N wanted to stay awake, to continue being with Xiao for as long as she could. As she struggled to stay awake, Xiao shifted his hand and interlaced his fingers with hers.

“There’s nothing to fear, I will keep you safe while you sleep.”

Y/N wanted to argue, wanted to tell him that she’s not sleepy, but is unable to even speak as Xiao uses his free hand to close her eyes. “Geh-”

“Don’t fight and waste your energy, Y/N.”

Y/N used the last of her strength to force a pout but smiled at his awkward attempt of showing that he cared for her. Before allowing herself to slip into the depths of sleep, she whispered.

“I...I love you, Xiao.”

Xiao stayed quiet as the hand intertwined with his hand started to grow limp before falling out of his grasp completely. Tears were welling up in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. The breathing and movement of her chest came to an eventual stop and he held back a hiccup. 

Xiao leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to the fading warm lips of the girl below him. He pulled away after a few seconds, whispering the three words she never got to hear. “I love you too… Y/N”

By the time the moon rose to its peak, the adepti was gone from the scene. The only evidence of his presence was the wet patches on the sheets and the qingxin flower that rested on the girl’s chest.

Xiao stood at the base of Dihua Marsh, watching the moon rise with a sad expression, before placing his mask on and disappearing from view.

-----------------

Venti finished his story with a beautiful but sad song note and the crowd before him had tears welling up in their eyes. Despite the sad note, they applauded him and tipped him with mora. As the crowd dispersed, a couple of children came up to him. “Venti! Venti! Why didn’t they get a happy ending?” they whined.

Venti smiled sadly, “Although those two didn’t have a happy ending, it doesn’t mean that the story ends there.”

“Does that mean the adepti will find someone else to love?”

Venti laughed, “I’m sure he will.”

Meanwhile, in Liyue, a floating pixie sneezed as she talked with her companion. 

“Paimon, are you sick?” her companion asked.

“Paimon never gets sick!” the pixie rebuked, resting her fists on her hips.

The companion simply laughed in response and Paimon pouted. The two were in Dihua Marsh near the Wangshu Inn as they spoke. Paimon quickly brought the both of them back to the previous topic, “Anyways, isn’t that Xiao over there?” and pointed in a direction.

The traveler looked in the direction Paimon was pointing at, seeing the familiar yaksha, sitting before a formation that looked similar to that of a grave.

“What is he standing in front of?” the traveler murmured as they observed the yaksha.

“How about we check it out?” Paimon suggested and the traveler nodded.

They approached the adepti but the traveler froze in their tracks as they noticed a slightly transparent figure next to Xiao. The figure was in the shape of a young woman, softly smiling down at the adepti.

Paimon also saw the figure, quickly freaking out, “Gah-! Is… is that a… a ghost?!”

The shrieks of fear from Paimon quickly alert the figure and Xiao. As Xiao turns around, the figure disappears, and Xiao sighs at the sight of the pair.

“You two. What are you doing here?”

“A-ah… we just saw you, so uh…” Paimon tried speaking but was still frozen in place after the sight of the figure.

The traveler sighed, before continuing for her, “And we wanted to see how you were doing.” 

Xiao sighed and crossed his arms, “You need not be concerned about that. But why were you shrieking?” The traveler and Paimon exchanged glances before replying, “Uh… well Paimon saw what looked like a… a ghost, next to you!”

“A ghost…?” Xiao echos, pondering over it, “...I see.”

“...Do you know that ghost, Xiao?” the traveler asked.

“...It’s not of any importance,” he replied and turned around, “I must get going now.”

Before the traveler or Paimon could ask, the yaksha disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

“Sheesh!” Paimon crossed her arms, “why is he so rude sometimes?!”

The traveler smiled at Paimon’s whining before turning to look at the makeshift construct before them. Paimon follows their gaze, “Oh! We should check that thing out! We might get some clues!”

“...I feel like we’re intruding on his privacy by doing this,” the traveler mumbled as they followed Paimon. They stopped in front of the formation, noticing very little of any unique details. As they observed it, the traveler froze, sensing a presence behind them. Sharply turning around, they saw the figure of the young woman once again. 

“Huh? Is something wr-” Paimon quickly cuts herself off with a shriek as she turns around, seeing the ghostly figure as well. She quickly floated over to the traveler, hiding behind them, quivering in fear.

Taking out their sword, the traveler got into a fighting stance but was interrupted as the figure’s mouth moved. Although unable to hear it immediately, the words it spoke floated upon the wind, reaching the ears of the traveler with a tickle.

“...Take care of Xiao, please…” it whispered with a sad smile.

The traveler stares in confusion but is unable to speak further as the figure fades away.

-----------------

*this isn’t an actual character in the game, I just searched up Chinese names and got this lol

Anyways I hope everyone likes this!

[grittyreadsfic]

hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

or

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

__

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging HSMTMTS s2x8

Well, well, well, who would’ve thought my streaming site would have the episode up early. I can finally get a Live!Blog done at a decent time for once.

Rip Rini. That’s my only prediction for this ep.

Lesss goooooo

--

“napoleon over here” jfc haha

“because winners don’t freak out” good mantra miss jenn

Lets take a shot how many times Ricky says “Nini”—I’m at 2 already with one minute in

Awwwwwwww look at gina giving ej pointers for the dancing

“biggie” idk how I feel about that nickname for big red but you do you Ashlyn

Why am I surprised that this rendition is really good

Big red you’re killing it

To any of yall who remember Unus Annus (memento mori ☹ ) plz tell me you remember their “version” of the gaston song???

Cuz that’s all im thinking about

EJ your voice is so good we’ve been robbed this entire show

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful, well done well done

Awwww poor seb

Tbf I’d probably try that out too ngl haha

We’re already calling ricky ‘you-know-who’ and this show is well known for it’s harry potter references…..yikes

3

Asdlhjsdlhfasdfh

“No offense Ricky, but it’s not all about you.” Daaaaaaaaamn

Ricky

Sir

What are you doing

Why

Aldfaksjdfahsdf

Yes asking people to collab is legit

Yes this could also be some creep

But stop being clingy and obsessive ricky good lord

Oh so NOW he regrets one of his bad choices with nini

4

Hehe portwell smiling at each other all throughout the ep

HFLDKJHGJFGGH

WAIT

ARE WE ADDRESSING IT

EJ LIKES HER HOLY SHIT

AJDFALHSDJFASDLFHASDFJASDFLASDFJASDFHASKFDJASDLFS

I MEAN IT WAS OBVIOUS

BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IF/WHEN/HOW THEY WERE GONNA ADDRESS IT

I stg if my video doesn’t stop glitching imma sue something

Oooooooooo ej’s dad

Oh

Oh no

Ej never told his dad about duke

WAIT

HIS DAD PULLED STRINGS TO GET HIM IN

Sir

Mr sir

Mr fucking sir

Of course he’s one of those parents

Miss jenn does have a strong soprano range I’ll give her that

Poor seb

He just wanted some rehearsal time

5

Honestly ricky I think you can still call her nini

6

Even big red is tired of listening to the same shit with ricky

7

I do feel for the kid but man

Ooooo kourt’s mom

I like how we’re seeing more of the parents

Her mom is so supportive

That’s so nice to see

Yaaay some of their relationship was real afterall

Even tho Howie scuffed up

Yea kourt you tell him

Yea I have a feeling ricky just kinda froze while taking the career apititude test

8

“I did not come home for you” hell yea nini you tell him

Everyone in the restaraunt is just staring lmao

Rip Rini?

I will be very very very mad if they make up at the end of the ep and continue on like nothing happened

Awwwwww Ashlyn made a Big Red career collage that’s so cute

Oooooooooh I see the conflict now ok

Big red you should tell her what you really want

There you go

Look at that communication

Rini take notes

Awwwwww mazzarra made her a lil mini snack/coffee table to help her relax

That’s very sweet

And he’s the only one of her love-interests that actually knows how to HELP her

Man he’s smitten with her isn’t he

Gina’s hair is so pretty here I love it

She smiles every time she sees ej ehehe

And he’s helping her crochet <3

Look at portwell’s communication skills here

Maaaaaaaan

Even tho they are different

Both of them are listening to each other and are still helping each other

While rina had stuff like that in common

Season 2 scuffed them so bad gina was just unhappy

Aka gina’s list on why she likes ej

This is so cute

Jasljdsflhasdf

“you’d see what I-the rest of us see”

Plz don’t play with my heart yall

I wasn’t sure if Gina liked him back romantically or not

Portwell Nation rise up

Ashlyn I love you but whyyyyy did you ruin the momenttttttt

Oh my god

Why are Rini being happy and cute when they JUST blew up at each other

Im so confused

Is that normal for relationships?

To go from a major fight then being super cute and happy like nothing happened????

Ok now we’re talking about it…..

“At YAC I liked who I was there” uh…Nini weren’t you kinda miserable there?

Oooooooooo

Here’s the thing

Right now Ricky is clinging onto the safety feeling

And Nini JUST said she didn’t want to be ‘safe’

Im glad he told her about the insta comment

Are they….are they actually breaking up now?

Alright this is probably the best way they both could’ve ended things

A mutual, understanding, emotion filled break up with no hard feelings

That’s gonna help both of them in the future I think

Assuming the writers don’t throw them back together at the end of the episode

9

My heart does go out to them tho :/

Howie does have a very nice voice

LOOK AT DOMESTIC PORTWELL

GUYS LOOK AT THAT

THAT’S SO CUTE

HE PUT A BLANKET OVER HER LIKE COME ON

SHE FELT SAFE ENOUGH TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH NEXT TO HIM

rina could never at least right now

Ok we got all the ships in this song

Except for Rini

If this is foreshadowing im very content

Awwww ricky ☹

Beautiful Howie

I loved that so much

Great voice

Great ending to an episode

--

Did I actually keep track of how many times Ricky said “Nini” in this episode? Yes, yes I did. It helped me stay more focused ironically enough. Luckily half of those were in conversation with Nini so that wasn’t awful lmao.

So I was right about Rip Rini. Incredible. Hopefully they stay broken up for a while and focus on themselves. RICKERAPY CAN FINALLY SHINE!!!!!

Also, EJ likes Gina confirmed? Portwell nation, how we feelin today?

[shoichee]

Hello!❤️ Checking your blog is the first thing I do, and so today I woke up to yours updates😍 in short, you made my day🙆🏼‍♀️

Idk if you do that kind of requests, but can you do a scenario with Aomine based on “Cool” by Gwen Stefani? The song popped into my head a few days ago and is on repeat😂

YOU ASK, I DELIVER~ I sincerely apologize for taking so long;; YOU MAKE MY DAY WHEN YOU REBLOG <33 but without further ado… this one is a bittersweet one // EDIT: I forgot to add in this banner done by @mihangry PLEASE CHECK EM OUT there might be a new side blog for new knb writings👀

Aomine x Reader

Word Count: 1410

»»—————　☼　—————««

It’s hard to remember how it felt before…

Now I found the love of my life…

You hummed to accompany the soft bustling of the local market as you tried to rummage through the shelf for the perfect box of baking soda for tonight’s dinner. You were amused to see Aomine standing there awkwardly, sticking out like a sore thumb as he always did. It seems that nothing had really changed after the two of you graduated.

“Daiki,” you smile fondly. “You do know you’re blocking the aisle, right?”

“Sh-Shit.” After mumbling an apology to a curious passerby shopper, he turns to you again before he scratches his neck. “So… whatcha doin’?”

Passes, things get more comfortable…

Everything is going right…

“What do you think?” you stifle a chuckle. “I’m shopping here. My question is, what are you doing here? You’ve been standing there like a dunce.”

“Uh, well…” he haphazardly pulled out a wrinkled list from his usual navy puffer jacket to squint at the scribbles. “Shopping for groceries.”

“Let me guess, you were trying to look for banana milk here. But you do know that this is the baking aisle?”

“Wha—?! Tch, that’s not it, (y/n). I’m looking for—”

“Daiki! There you are!”

The two of you turned to an unfamiliar woman, bundled up in scarves and fleece while looking out of breath. You shot a curious look when Aomine approached her to flick her forehead before burying her head into his chest.

“Geez, how many times do I have to tell you to pay attention to where you’re going? How do you always manage to get separated from me?”

“O-Ow! You didn’t have to flick that hard…” she mumbles into his jacket. “I was trying to scour the store for banana milk because I felt bad for dragging you here with me…”

“Okay, okay, sheesh,” he sighs before flashing her a rare gentle smile, the one you used to have the privilege to lay eyes on so often long ago. “You can stop frowning now.”

And after all the obstacles,

It’s good to see you now with someone else…

She finally noticed you standing behind Aomine from a distance before she asked with sparkling eyes, “Daiki, who’s this?”

He widened his eyes in remembering that there was an audience in the first place, and he glanced back at you before turning to her.

“Oh, yeah… (y/n)’s a—”

“I’m an old friend.” You smoothly answer for him, and you hold up a friendly wave to introduce yourself. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, and you are…?”

“I’m his girlfriend,” she giggles shyly, tugging her hands behind her back with a faint blush. “I don’t know if we look like a proper couple, but anyways, I hope we get along together!” You turn back to the selection of baking sodas before plucking the “best” one and gingerly putting it into your shopping basket, hanging from your arm. You return your gaze back to her with a gentle smile.

“If you’re looking for banana milk,” you instruct, shooting a teasing look to Aomine on the side. “It’s located 4 aisles down, though it’s in a pretty obscured corner on the shelves. Not many people would find it at first glance.”

“I-I see!” she exclaims, frantically taking note on a scrap of paper.

“Are you two shopping for ingredients to make teriyaki burgers?”

“H-How’d you know?!”

“Damn, y’all talk so much, it’s annoying,” Aomine grumbles, clearly embarrassed about the ordeal. “I’m gonna be waiting over there.”

And it’s such a miracle that you and me are still good friends…

“Hey, wait—! Ugh, sheesh, I’m sorry about him… he can be a bit childish sometimes, and…” she trails off, thinking of ways to apologize for his roundabout behavior. You merely laugh before you wave a hand off to signal her to think nothing of it.

“I know.”

We have changed, but we’re still the same…

After all that we’ve been through…

“Then…” she gulps before hesitantly continuing, “would it be too much to ask for you to show us the way around the store? I mean, well, it’s our first time here in the area, and the store is so jam-packed…”

“I don’t mind. Shall we go? Aomine is never the patient one, after all.”

“Right?! Sometimes, he gets all pouty and grumbly like a kid!”

“Yes,” you laugh, walking with her side-by-side towards where Aomine was standing. “He can be difficult sometimes.”

“You two look like you’re having way too much fun,” Aomine comments, sighing before he straightens his posture from leaning against the fruit stand for a while. “How did you even get chummy with each other that quickly?”

“It’s all thanks to you Daiki,” you tease, purposely phrasing it in such a vague way to keep him guessing.

“O-Oh! You call him by his first name too! You did say you’ve known him for a long time, right? What was he even like back then?”

“Jeez…” Aomine roughly ruffles her hair to stop her from saying anything more. “(Y/n), don’t answer that.”

And now we’re hangin’ out with your new girlfriend…

So far from where we’ve been…

“Hmmm…” you ponder, remembering the times when you used to spend your free time on the rooftops with him… the times you both went to Maji Burger together… the times you were dragged to the street courts with him to watch his new tricks…

… the kisses you two used to share.

“He wasn’t… so different, actually,” you fondly recall. “Always impulsive, stubborn, childish… but he’s also dependable and straightforward.”

“Huh… come on, I wanted to hear stories of him crying like an actual baby,” she playfully whines, but then her eyes shine when she sees that sign for the aisle that the banana milk was in. “Stay right here! I’ll get the pack quick!” Once she disappears into the aisle, both of you stand there in comfortable silence before he speaks up.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Was that why you were staring at me earlier?” You tilted your head to wait for his response, and he turned his head to the side before looking at you again.

“… Yeah.”

“How have you been, Daiki?”

“Doin’ good, more or less. What are you even doing here?”

“My college is right around the corner, so I recently moved here to make things easier to access and travel. My internship won’t be lenient on me being late, even if I live far, so I had to make arrangements. You?”

“That’s good, right? Having an internship will get you work easier,” he replies. “But naw, I’m just here because she dragged me over. We live pretty far, but she wanted to make a stop here to make something for me before I go on a plane to America.”

“You’re going overseas?! C-Congratulations…! It’s about your dream to make it to the NBA, right?”

“It’s not a big deal, yet,” he mumbles. “I still gotta practice if I wanna get scouted.”

“Practice, huh…” you trail off, and silence envelops the two of you again.

And I’ll be happy for you,

If you can be happy for me.

“I’m back!~” Daiki’s girlfriend huffs out of the aisle with a triumphant grin. “I found the last one! Shall we move to find the rest of the ingredients?”

“Of course,” you cheerfully say, making a mental note for yourself to also grab the rest of the items on your own grocery list. “Let’s go.”

Before you finish your sentence, however, she’s already bouncing meters ahead, eagerly keeping her eyes peeled for any ingredients for the burgers, leaving you two behind again.

“She’s quite an energetic one, hm?”

“Yeah, yeah.” While he sounded quite flippant, his narrowed eyes showed nothing but affection for her.

“It’s really good to talk to you again,” you whisper. “It feels like everything is falling into place again, and everything would be okay.”

“I get ya,” he says, slightly stretching before nudging his chin ahead. “Come on, let’s get moving before she ends up getting lost again.”

“Right behind you.”

And just so naturally, both of you raised your fists simultaneously to give a resounding fist bump before you two started walking to catch up to her. No further words needed to be said when the two of you had always been so in tuned with each other.

I know we’re cool,

I know we’re cool…

… Me and you.

[mego42]

What are some of your favorite GG song Moments. ? Here are some of mine.

1. Easy ft lorde- OMG this soong is such a bop. it just fits the scene so well. HONESTLY one of my fav scenes. HE IS LIVING HIS BEST LIFE IN THIS SCENE. I LOVE CHAOTIC RIO

2. Wild heart by SPELLES.- THIS SONG IS SO HAUNTING just fits the vibe so well. SO ANGSTY

3. The most recent song. Used in that Brio moment. Idk what its called . I know that Beth is having the time of her life but that song is just HEAVY. The lyrics 🙏😭😭❤❤❤ such a pretty song fr 😔

omg anon i love this question nearly as much as i love your taste. YES!!!! to Easy (i too love tf out of personification of chaos rio), YES!!!!! to Wild Heart!!!!  it’s SO HAUNTING and disorienting and PERFECT. and Y E S !!!!!!!!!!!!! to the most recent song (whole life by perfume genius). i am LIVING for the heavy ballad vibes, super agree it’s so pretty. 

in no particular order, my top 5 music moments:

blanket me / hundred waters

1x09 - beth makes the calendar laying out her kids future in case something happens to her

i’ve already exposed myself as an absolute loon when it comes to this song and you can read the whole breakdown here

but tl;dr it’s a song about relying too much on a person and needing to break free and be independent but not in a toxic sort of way, more in a for personal growth and the best for everyone because co-dependence holds everyone back and i really, really, really love that in context of beth and her children, her learning to step back and not smother them but also not give so much of herself that she disappears entirely because that’s not good for them in the long run

basically it’s sort of a thesis statement for beth’s underlying s1 arc

plus it’s just like, heavy and haunting and absolutely gorgeous and not to be like, unreasonably pretentious, moves me and i love it

notable lyrics: You're my blanket, you're my skin / You're everything within / You're my guardian, I'm your sail / A boat in your harbor / Gone under, capsized and sinking / Blanket me, blanket me, blanket me, blanket me, blanket me

-

whole life / perfume genius

4x06 - beth looking for a place to hide the wire/hooking up with rio

the song is all about leaving behind the things weighing you down and moving into a brighter, more free future and i love love love how that plays with the duality of beth hiding the wire and securing her source of information for the secret service BUT ALSO marking this moment as a turning point for beth and rio because it absolutely is.

(like not just the fact that they’ve resumed a physical relationship but rio’s invited beth deeper into his world and we’re seeing beth crack on a level we really haven’t before)

this season is leaning SO HARD into duality and the tangled up truths and lies between them and i am absolutely UNHINGED over it

i also really love the like, passionate ballad nature of it juxtaposed over this twisted, extremely sexy moment (intercut with dean joyfully trying to seize hold of his new hobby only to be IMMEDIATELY denied)

there are just so many layers to it and i love all of them

notable lyrics: The mark where he left me / A clip on my wing / Oh, let it soften / I forgive everything

-

ocean rain / echo & the bunnymen

4x04 - the beth and jane/rio getting the drop on fitz montage

the whole theme of this song is two people tearing each other apart and destroying the bones of their former intimacy which like, hello subject matter aptitude and it’s told through this GLORIOUSLY dramatic hurricane at sea imagery with ships being dragged below the waves by the hurricanes the two people have called down on each other set to a gorgeous over the top orchestral score

on a yrical note, i love that the song is basically the same verse over and over (interspersed with the chorus, obvs) and the only change is me vs you when it comes to who brought the storm down on them

basically, if you were challenged to come up with a song that represented two peak dramatique heaux nightmare factories locked in a never ending game of deadly cat and mouse, you couldn’t top this.

i am ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED with the choice to pair it with a montage of beth finally pulling the trigger (with foresight and intent, shooting rio was p obvs a oh shit look what i did moment), a milestone rio’s been dragging her (down) towards since the beginning of s2 AND using him to do it, dragging him (down) into her mess (m ade all the more messy when you consider he was the target of it) (i just! love it! so! much!)

i want to live in johnathan leahy’s brain

notable lyrics: all at sea again / and now my[your] hurricanes have brought down this ocean rain / to bathe me again / my ship’s a-sail / can you hear it’s tender frame / screaming from beneath the waves / screaming from beneath the waves

-

el musgo / gabriel bruce

3x04 - rio watches beth make money

UGH GOD when that high hat and bass kicked in the first time i was like oh shit we are in for some DRAMA and sure enough we were as well as a more sexual montage than anything you’d find in actual porn.

idk, the fact that they chose this deep, dark, mournful about lost love to an elongated montage slow motion montage of rio watching beth make fake cash and deciding not to kill her for nearly killing him doEs stuFf to me

all i’m saying is johnathan leahy ships brio harder than any of us and is a more dramatique heaux than either of them, which are two really impressive feats to achieve

AND THEN!!! AND THEN!!!!! they CHOPPED THE SONG UP!!!!! so they were able to take advantage of the dawning drama of the opening bars BUT ALSO include the closing stanza about wearing the marks the subject of the song gave the singer like a scar where they took his heart from him and the INTENTIONALITY of that creative choice puts me on the FLOOR

LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

notable lyrics: I'll wear this mark like a medal / But it's a scar / Where you took my heart from me

-

kimono hill / sophia kennedy

3x01 - rio leaves the hotel

honeslty, lowkey surprised this one made my top five. not because it isn’t a fabulous song deployed with johnathan leahy’s usual mastery, but bc i didn’t realize how much i loved it until making this list

i don’t really have like, a deep, lyrically rooted storytelling reason for loving it, i just think the way they used it in the show is Such A Vibe

the way the vibrating synthy tones and underlying organ kicks in while rio’s getting in the elevator has this beautiful held breath anticipatory quality to it that works SO WELL to set up the montage of rio strutting out back into his life while turner gets murdered (a scene i have some uh, complicated feelings about but setting those aside), and the bolands’ fresh start to the tune of bouncy drums and looping vocals

idk it’s such a shining note to end the first episode of a new season on, i remember feeling refreshed and super hype for what’s to come

notable lyrics: no lyrics, just the vibe of the opening bars

tl;dr i really, really, REALLY love how this show uses music. you can tell they put a lot of time and effort and thought into it and while i know the trajectory isn’t working for everyone, personally i love it. granted, as you can see from this list, i clearly love the shit out of a down tempo dramatic ballad, so. if you are more of a bangers and bops person, i would point you to @nickmillerscaulk’s inbox as she is a Certified Bangers Afficianado.

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

[mallowstep]

I’m thinking about writing a short OC piece about Windclan and I’d love to see your notes about its culture and the hymns you’ve written so far, everything you’ve done for Windclan appreciation month has really inspired me :)

hello anon!

alright, first things first: please send me ur piece when ur done if you're comfortable doing so! i will publish it from you, or if you don't want to be associated with it in Any Way, i will also just read it and add it to the queue with no indication why it's there. or if you don't want me to share it at all, i'd still like to read it.

as for your ask,

hymns?

i'm working on it. however, underneath the read more, i'll include a few snippets for u.

culture

alright, i'm just going to post links with some commentary as i go. feel free to ask any more questions you have.

windclan (search) | windclan (tag) | wcam tag | five clans (narrative essays)

i would link the elders den, but there's no windclan stories in there ATM.

moving on, i'm just going to go through posts in reverse chronological order.

tallstar taking a mate admittedly, this is more about cats and sexuality than windclan, but i provide the commentary that windclan...has a particular view on sexuality and fluidity. one thing i haven't explored but should is the role visiting cats have in windclan.

whoops that's a code word, my plug for solacefruit has been activated. okay, as you may be aware, based on the fact that i have a whole tag for it, i'm obsessed with solacefruit. now, i love everything they do, but i would like to point you particularly to "make a mighty sound" for a fantastic exploration of this idea.

i don't want to spoil anything, but i do think windclan, and maybe cats as a whole, but windclan has a certain view towards relationships that very much breaks them into pieces. i'm a "love is a verb" person, so the idea that you can grow to love someone romantically by going through the actions of love makes sense. not to say you will, but you can.

(to be clear i'm not out advocating for arranged marriages just saying that they can work, they're not destined to be bad, and there's a difference between forced marriage and arranged marriage.)

anyway.

this was a lot of words to say, cats do not have a human (and particularly, western/american) understanding of relationships, which makes analyzing them in those terms difficult.

early hymn talk i'll probably say more below, but it is here.

general ibtwicm notes might get you into the headspace for some of my choices in ibtwicm.

i don't have a ton to say because this pretty much all holds, but uh, yeah.

poetry and language this isn't strictly about windclan, but it does explain some of what i think about when writing hymns.

obviously, i'm writing english translations, but these general themes are what i have in mind. it's also part of why i say i don't think i'll ever release a "full hymnal" for windclan, because i don't know if my weak worldbuilding heart could take it if i only had translations.

names part two very much not about windclan, but just some thoughts on names. as i've said before, i support all names and worldbuilding equally, but if you want my thoughts on names, go buckwild.

clan culture fic rec list just stuff i think does a good job, if you want other sources of inspiration.

general clan culture notes this is really old, but it mostly holds.

i've obviously expanded a lot on windclan since i wrote it, so shrug? idk man.

alright, i'm going to move into hymn discussion below the cut, but best of luck! and i hope u have a good time. it makes my brain shut down to read that i inspired you, straight up got brain juice pouring out of my ears, but i'm really, really happy to hear that.

windclan holds a special place in my heart. (i know my oc avatar is from skyclan shhh it's because of the backstory he sees ghosts.) but i grew up in this super sporty household as a lil asthmatic klutz, and running was a sport i couldn't mess up, so of course windclan appealed to me.

they're actually third on my list of favorite clans, but they. it's a special place in my heart that they hold, especially after reading dawn of the clans and moth flight's vision, where i got an asthmatic cat and an adhd cat, both in windclan.

god i should reread dotc it's good.

alright, here's the deal on hymns: i am not going to fight to get duets to post correctly. there's a 0% chance i can in tumblr's wonky ass new editor with no markdown, not to mention how difficult it would have been in the old editor. so i'm going to talk a lil about what i've got, and post some stanzas that i think don't get explored a lot in ibtwicm.

we're discussing these in the order that they go in. a reminder that these are all sections of one epic poem. that said, i don't know where the gaps are. like, i don't know what's between these, if that makes sense.

the wind

the wind, the very first hymn. this is an ode to, well, windclan. it's a song about everything that makes them them. it's filled with poetry about the wind, about the seasons, and it's just...well, it's a bit of a genesis, in a way.

The wind — like the rain, like the river — calls the name of each star in its breath. The wind — like the earth, like the stone — anchors us to our home. The wind — like the sun, like the sky — is knowable only by name.

i wanted to share this stanza because the last line doesn't show up in ibtwicm (at least so far, i cut the reference), and it really, really, makes a difference imo.

anyway, windclan is basically tying the wind in with every other fundamental part of their life here.

they are the wind, and that's that.

the hare

okay, this one has a line that comes up a lot in ch1, but i already talked about that, so instead, i'm going to talk about this stanza

Speak of the earth and the dens, and you will be answered: By the call of the howling gales, the open earth singing in response. But speak of that which grows above, of the grass and field, And you will be answered by the softness of the buds and the roots.

okay, we get deadfoot thinking about this when he's talking to yellowfang.

i like this stanza because it really tells us what the hare is about. now, hares are not something windclan catches. hares are huge, y'all, there's no way they take one down. i take liberties with ecology, but not that many.

(i.e., a team of cats definitely could take one down, but i know too much, and would prefer letting team hunting stay a plot thing, and not fundamentally alter the environment in the way it would.)

now anyway, all of these hymns come from the time of the tunnelers. and the point of this is, even though the work of tunnelers and moor runners is disconnected, they fundamentally affect each other.

a moor runner must trust the hollows of the earth beneath them won't collapse, and a tunneler must trust that the prey they chase up will be caught.

it's all very symbiotic and is, well, in a way, a love poem. plus i really like the line "the open earth singing in response"

of the warrens

so this has one line, one you might not even know is a hymn, in ch1, but i'll share the whole stanza.

And as for the subject of fallow fields: Fallowed fields make for hungry prey, Yet hungry prey makes desperate rabbits, Who leap into our claws.

and ig my big point is, the hymns are a cultural artifact. just like many of the rules in the old testament have to do with hygiene things being codified into religion, this whole hymn is about hunting advice.

the moon on the river

okay, out of all the hymns, this is the most complete, and because ashfoot and deadfoot sing it together, and deadfoot discusses it, i only have one stanza to share.

Under the coldness, you shine back at me, And I do everything to keep the clouds from threatening you.

now, this poem is about love, grief, and being separated. it's a particular kind of grief, and windclan discourages grief, so this is one of only a few ways to really, fully express it.

and this section, in particular, is about love in times of hardship.

i don't have. a lot to say here. but the way hardship changes how you love someone can be particular and intense.

(temporarily, this happens sometime before "Spare for my chosen few / All I have is given towards the distant ground.")

the gorse in the wind

oh shit! i have so fucking much to say okay first.

the series title does not come from this hymn.

second, this is a challenging hymn okay. fuck. i have so much to say. where to start so! moors are actually relatively wet. think british countryside, not, like, a cool desert.

this is something i always knew? i read the secret garden a lot as a kid. but. i've seen stuff about moors being dry, and it's just one of those things that really...starts to eat under your skin. anyway.

okay, so. gorse is a dry plant. it does not like rain. it grows in sandy soil, etc etc, and yet. aside from everything we know about gorse and warriors, it also grows in this moor. because i say so.

okay, so. so so so. the lines quotes here are really deceptive, and i bet no one understood why, and that makes me just a little sad, but i couldn't find a good way to explain it in text, so uh, yeah, anyway. there's an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot: "THE GORSE: You called me the heather and I grew stronger. / THE WIND: I called you the heather and brought rain for you to grow."

so...so do you see? do you see the point? it's about communication, needs, challenging each other. fadskj;l i love this. okay, so. the point is that heather is fragile, soft, pretty, and gorse is the opposite. the part of the wind is trying to be kind and complimentary, but the gorse is saying, fuck that, you are not being kind to me by undercutting my strength.

anyway, this passage is sung by the gorse:

In what good company have I set down roots, That even through snow fall I flower. You called me the heather and yet I've weathered, Far more than your sweet-named love.

so uh, yeah, this adds context. gorse! gorse is a hardy plant that continues to flower basically all season round. it's cool. it's cool. gorse is super cool. fuuuck y'all it's such a small thing and i've contained talking about it until now, but now it's too much. the floodgates are open, and i thought about this small detail too much.

okay. deep breath. gorse is a really easy plant to grow, but it's still adapted for dry environments. so the "even through snow fall I flower" part is a little tongue in cheek: gorse itself will flower in the cold, but snow is a type of precipitation, which as we've covered, is not gorse friendly.

then we have some rhyming and puns in the next line, and finally, "yet I've weathered, / Far more than your sweet-named love." like. yes. love as a form of softness is not necessarily helpful.

i mean, consider the damaging "soft trans boi" problem. same energy.

right. okay. so we've got all that? now if you remember, this is sung when deadfoot thinks ashpaw doesn't respect him, and ashpaw says she'll sing with him if she can sing the gorse, so in essence, she's telling him...not to back off, per se, but that...she is the "hard part" of the relationship. like, okay, i refuse to even bring up gender roles in human relationships, but uh, her point is very much, "i am the gorse, and you are the wind," and it's a very monumental moment.

it's anchored, i believe, in the other scenes, but this is a small thing that matters a lot to me.

like a lot.

okay, now that i've talked about like four lines for the length of this entire post, moving on.

the heather and earth

okay, this is the last hymn i have in concrete terms, and i cut a bit of it from the latest chapter, so yeah. it's also, uh, okay everything i have for it is only a line or two, but i wanted to share this closing line (sung together):

Sing a song of forgiveness, of growing together, and we will make madness, And madness from hence will everything beautiful grow.

and i just like these lines. they got cut, it was initially part of an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot, but i can't share the part of it they talk about, because i'm reusing it for a later chapter and i'll 100% spoil shit if i try to talk about it.

but these lines? mmm they speak to me.

i don't have a ton to say about them, but i just. i like it.

if we apply the same ecology discussion from the gorse and the wind, we see heather is a plant that grows in acidic, infertile soil, and heath (which is not the same as a heather, but also kind of is) is a defining quality of heathland, which is...i'm not kidding, it's hot discourse about the difference between moorland and heathland.

i'm not getting involved, but my point is, if the gorse in the wind is a hymn about finding a working relationship, about mutual respect, etc., then the heather and earth is a hymn about working well together in a terrible situation.

god.

uh, wow! can you tell i like plants? because while parts of my ecology are dubious (see: everything regarding the rabbits in ch1), the plants part are well thought out. this shit is carefully detailed metaphor.

and that's why i won't be releasing a full hymnal. it's hard to as on top of this as i want to be. i'm not kidding, writing even four lines of a hymn usually takes me about twenty minutes, because i pull up a lot of research about how things work, how they interact with each other, etc., and then there's wordsmithing, cat worldview filter, etc.

but i hope this overview of what i've got is a good insight into my general thoughts. and i will eventually release more and more of the hymns i've got written.

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

here's the like. dumb titles/descriptions/whatever but. ds. ,,, i'm bad at posts ufhthyfjy-

built to scale: haha solfege go brr

glee club: screaming gay polyam children

fillbots: apparently the robots in fillbots have an advanced ai and by the time they get to the end of the production line they're fully aware of the other robots and i. i'm so concerned-

fan club: fjrhtbufjt G I R L -

also III SUPPOSE, HEY!

ds remix 1: tempo go brr

rhythm rally: god i love ds' model quality

shoot-'em-up: girl,,,

blue birds: birb

moai doo-wop: hate when i fuck up at singing and get pooped on

ds remix 2: the much required tropical remix

love lizards: is this how lizards,,, uh,,, fuck

crop stomp: this and love lizards are consecutive and use the same prologue. just a fun fact

freeze frame: references go brr (the crowd has space dancers, the clappy trio, and the rap men, and sometimes correctly timed pictures have the ninjas from ninja bodyguard, the brown rat from rat race, or a sneaky spirit)

the dazzles: YOU TOLD ME DREAMS COME TRUE- YEAH YEAH YEAH, YEAH YEAH YEAH- WE'LL FIND OUT, BABY TONIGHT, IF I GET CLOSE TOOOOOO YOUUUUU-

remix 3: swing: the remix

munchy monk: okay not to ignore munchy monk but like. y'all know what's next

dj school: DJ SCHOOL MY BELOVED, BEST GAME, THE DJS ARE SO GOOD AND GAY AND AAAAAA-

drummer duel: you need to no miss the part where it speeds up to 200 bpm or else, there goes your superb

love lab: is this acapella

remix 4: ah yes. the most romantic thing of all. clowns

splashdown: "there's no i in synchronized swimming- what? there is?" -paraphrased from splashdown's description. i'm sure why i find this funny is pretty clear-

big rock finish: one time i was bored and scrolling through rhythm heaven shit in ao3 and i saw a tag that was "no beta we die like people playing big rock finish the first time" or something like that and i just needed to share that

dog ninja: why does the song have a different name from the game (crop stomp and munchy monk do too)? not even the lyrical songs get that, at least not on the song list-

frog hop: uhhhh something something chemicals in the water turning the frogs gay,,, idk

ds remix 5: why oh why does this get so much hate

space soccer: rhythm heaven fandom acknowledge space soccer's existence challenge-

lockstep: oh no it's the hard one,,, but actually not-

rockers: this can go one of two ways. either i scream about the gay or i don't and find something else to say. ,,, this works too actually-

ds karate man: RAIN FALLS ON ME, AND NOW I'M WALKING AWAY- TELL ME, DO YOU FIND ME MOOORE BEAUTIFUL NOW- I'M NOT THE KIND TO LET YOU WATCH AS I CRY, SO I GOT TO LEAVE, I GOT TO FORGET YOU- duh duh duh

ds remix 6: the lockstep transitions are broken. unless you use touchless. idk why

airboarder: IT'S PARADISE SINCE THE FIRST TIME, I SAW YOU STANDING THERE- BUT IT FEELS SO LONG AGO NOW, YEAH- IT'S PARADISE BUT NO MAP CAN, SHOW US NOW TO GET THERE- SO C'MON, BABY, PLANET OF LOVE- WE MADE OUR WAY OUT OF THE LONG, LONG DARKNESS, AND WE MADE IT THIS FAR, SUUUCH A LOONG ROAD, SO LET'S GO- SHINING ALL THE WAY, OH WE'RE ON OUR OWN PATH NOW- WE CAN TAKE IT ANYWHERE, THAT WE WANNA GO, OOH-HOO- SWEET SONG OF LOVE, OH CAN YOU HEAR IT TOO- I AM ALWAYS LOOKING AT YOU, MY SWEET DEAR- AND I SEE YOU RIGHT THERE, SMILING BACK AT ME, TOOOOOOO- W O O -

,,, uh. anyways-

built to scale 2: gotta love that very brief blackout

the dazzles 2: the dazzles but again. and like. farm? is this cottagecore- are the dazzles cottagecore lesbians-

frog hop 2: i still got nothing tbh

fan club 2: I'M SO FUCKING GAY FOR POP SINGER GUYS, Y'ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND-

remix 7: people hate on this too. idk why

rhythm rally 2: this was my favorite game one time. still pretty good

fillbots 2: this is a few seconds shorter than one of the hands. why

blue birds 2: u h something something russia idk tbh

lockstep 2: this was my first perfect in ds

remix 8: s p e e d

moai doo-wop 2: why does this START set 9?

ds karate man 2: ah yes. very compressed but also superior struck by the rain. my favorite

glee club 2: i. is this rhythm hell- are the chorus kids in rhythm hell- w. why???

space soccer 2: is this where the double date jokes come from. cuz they both have farm/cowboy/whatever-themed sequels. either way they're good. don't see them a lot anymore tho :/

remix 9: one of the few ds remixes actually talked about. granted it is really good but also i mean. they all are-

shoot-'em-up 2: h

splashdown 2: hate that damn required input. you know the one

munchy monk 2: munchy monk is yet again immediately overshadowed

rockers 2: remember when i hated this? cuz that was. a thing. idk why-

remix 10: aka. the best medley remix

[reyesstrand]

Hi! If your still taking prompt from the prompt list can you maybe write 70,77, and 79? If that’s too much it can be just like one idk I just thought they would go good together. Sorry if it’s too much! Have a wonderful day!

thank you for the prompt!! so sorry for the wait, but i hope you enjoy this!!! 

all prompts are taken from this list. also available on ao3! 

“You seem nervous,” TK observes, as they slip out of the Camaro and head toward the restaurant that the reunion is being held at, just a block or two away from Carlos’ old high school just outside of the Austin city-limits.

He’s flattening down the front of his shirt as he glances over at Carlos, who still hasn’t spoken. The ride over from the station had been quiet in general, and TK goes to speak again when Carlos finally says, “I’m fine.”

It’s a pretty obvious lie. TK throws him a look and Carlos sighs.

“It’s just a little...weird. I haven’t seen most of these guys since I was actually in school.”

He hasn’t said anything about his high school experience. TK knows Carlos came out to his mom and sisters when he was fifteen, but he doesn’t know if his friends at school knew; he doesn’t know if he got shit for it from classmates or if he was accepted. All TK knows is that Carlos was definitely semi-popular in the way that most athletes were, and he was one of the few people to move away from everything he knew to live in the heart of Austin.

“Nothing bad happened when I was a kid, I know you’re thinking it,” Carlos sends him the smallest promise of a smile, and TK starts to calm his nerves. A little. “I mean, I definitely had a few people around me who didn’t love the gay thing, but everyone else I knew made up for it. I just don’t know what everyone’s going to think now that it’s been ten years.”

“Well, now you get to impress the shit out of them,” TK shrugs a shoulder, unable to stop thinking about what his own high school experience was like, easily understanding the underlying nervousness that Carlos must be feeling. “And if it starts going south, we can ditch and go to a movie or something.”

Carlos looks at him with fondness etched into his features, and TK smiles and leans his weight against his boyfriend for a moment before they step into the restaurant. It’s a nice place, similar to the family-run places TK would always stumble across in Manhattan, and once Carlos asks about the reunion the hostess immediately leads them back toward the large patio space, which is occupied by Carlos’ graduating class. TK squeezes Carlos’ hand as they step into the party, which seems to be a low-key thing; there are a few photos strung around, along with memorabilia from their school, but it seems that for the most part everyone is getting drunk and attempting to start up the dancing.

A woman with cropped hair and completely tattooed arms, who is definitely a little past tipsy, catches sight of them and she immediately comes over, knocking Carlos back a few steps as she hugs him. TK lets go of his grip on his boyfriend’s hand and watches on with a small smile, grateful that at least one person here doesn’t seem to have changed much.

“Max, hey, this is my boyfriend TK,” Carlos says, once they’ve stepped out of their hug. The woman looks at him with warm, deep brown eyes and grins at him, pulling him in for a hug, too. “TK, this is Max. She was my best friend and lab partner in senior year.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” TK says, and she agrees, grinning as she cranes her neck to find someone.

“Oh, you’ve got to meet my wife,” Max says, and a few seconds later a taller woman with an intricately braided up-do joins them, shaking hands and offering introductions. “This is my lovely Brit.”

They all start talking: about their lives post-high school, their careers, and as Max begins explaining that they’re thinking about having kids in a couple years. Carlos keeps an arm securely around TK’s shoulders as they catch-up, and he’s starting to think that everything’s going to go smoothly when more and more people begin to flock around them, joining in with their own stories until soon the conversation has turned into memories from high school that TK just sits back and listens to, occasionally sipping on his sweet tea.

He notices the hesitation around him, though, especially when someone asks him what he does for a living and he mentions working at the 126.

“So wait, you’re a firefighter? Isn’t that really dangerous?”

Before TK can open his mouth to actually respond, another person pipes up — the same guy who is not only totally smashed, but hasn’t stopped finding excuses to touch Carlos’ shoulder or arm the whole night.

“Yeah, Carlos, how do you even handle dating someone that’s never home and could get seriously injured?”

He doesn’t say it with too much venom, and TK knows he's just too drunk to read the room, but the words manage to sting and latch onto all the insecurities about their relationship that TK’s hidden deep down. He feels that unsettling doubt building up deep in his core, and while the conversation shifts off of him, Carlos glances at him and he feels comforted by the warmth that always seems to be there when Carlos settles his eyes on him, but it doesn’t do much for the dryness of his mouth.

Max seems to pick up on his discomfort, but before she can say anything to either him or the guy who’s been shamelessly flirting with Carlos despite his attempt at polite refusal to his advances, TK roughly clears his throat and mentions that he’s going to get a drink.

TK steps back into the restaurant, avoiding the bar and the refreshments table actually set up for the party, instead opting to head to the front. He breathes in deep, and feeling stupid for his doubt, he considers heading back to the reunion. But then he thinks of all the eyes falling on him and he shakily exhales and scrubs a hand down his face. He thought that after almost six months together that he wouldn't have the hesitation that comes with being cheated on in your previously longest lasting relationship, but he guesses it's just still simmering within him.

“Ty, are you okay?”

He shouldn’t be surprised that Carlos came after him. He still jumps a little though, and turns to watch him come closer.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good,” TK says, but even he can hear how wrong his voice sounds. “Actually, uh, I’m kind of freaking out.”

Carlos steps close to him, voice dropped low. “What can I do to help?”

“Nothing, just,” TK bites on the inside of his cheek until he finally lets it spill. “Why are you with me?”

Carlos huffs out a laugh like he’s ridiculous, but when he sees the unwavering look on TK’s face, he cocks his head slightly to the side. “What do you mean? We’re meant for each other, baby.”

“It doesn’t scare the shit out of you whenever I go in for a shift?” TK feels himself sinking into his own fears, but he can’t help as the words fall out of his mouth.

“I mean, of course I worry about you,” Carlos says, eyes shining with truth. “But you worry about me too. And it doesn’t affect the way I feel about you.”

“But—”

“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?” Carlos asks, voice cracking a little. TK swallows around the lump in his throat and on instinct, he shakes his head.

“No, I know you love me,” TK insists, because he does. The worry starts to fade away and he wonders to himself how he even let those words get under his skin. He moves more into Carlos’ space. “Because I love you just as much.”

The corner of Carlos’ mouth pulls up into a smile, but there’s still a line between his furrowed brows. “Please don’t worry about what they were saying in there.”

“I promise,” TK says, stepping in and kissing Carlos briefly, pulling back enough to continue speaking as Carlos rests his hands on TK’s sides. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I’m going to try and remind myself of that.”

“Good, because I don’t either,” Carlos insists, his smile reaching his eyes now. TK grins at him and steps closer, moving in for another kiss until they hear the door opening up behind them.

“Glad we could catch you guys!” A voice says, and they turn to see Max and Brit, hand-in-hand, slowly approaching them. TK slings an arm around Carlos’ waist. “For the record, Steve’s a dick for making you feel like that.”

“And you guys are coming out with us,” Brit adds.

“You don’t have to—”

“Carlos,” Max deadpans, shooting him a look that could rival one of TK’s and he can’t help but to laugh at it. “C’mon, we’re going to have our own reunion.”

Carlos meets TK’s eyes and when he nods and smiles, Carlos grins over at his old friend. “Alright then, let’s do it.”

"Time to finally show y'all up on the dance floor," Max teases, and as she and Carlos start in on an easy back-and-forth as they retreat towards their respective cars, TK feels a flare of nothing but love for his boyfriend, letting the past wash away as he keeps his eyes trained on their future.

[dandaelions]

🍭 Twenty Questions 🍭

Tagged by the lovely @changshapatrol 💕

1. What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

I’m known ‘round these parts as Rose

2. When is your birthday?

Beginning of February

3. Where do you live?

Near Portland, Oregon. It’s the only place I’ve ever lived and I’d live here forever if I could. There’s really no other place like this. I do have to say that the events of this past year in Portland have been heartbreaking to witness and I really hope things start changing and improving soon, for the better. 

4. Three things you are doing right now?

Thinking about the stuff I need to do tomorrow, checking the time to make sure I can get some reading in before I go to sleep, my mom just came in looking really annoyed and told me that she accidentally ordered an overpriced pizza cutter online and they won’t let her cancel the order now 😂

5. Four fandoms that have peaked your interest.

hmm idk about fandoms but I’ve really been wanting to check out Shinee and NCT!

6. How has the pandemic been treating you?

I am very fortunate to say that my family and I have been safe and healthy during the pandemic. But quarantine kicked. My. Ass. Long story short, I am NOT cut out for working at home. Even though I was getting my work done, I was feeling unproductive, unaccomplished, and frustrated. My work-life balance tanked. I started retreating far inside myself to a place I don’t ever want to visit again and closed myself off from everyone. I was very fortunate to be able to start therapy and learn healthier ways to manage my stress and also the fact that I’ve been able to go back to the lab for the past two months has really helped as well. 

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

Honestly, ‘Criminal’ by Taemin. It’s just such a masterpiece!

8. Recommend a movie.

‘Psycho’ - the original.

9. How old are you?

25

10. School, university, occupation, other?

Currently in grad school!

11. Do you prefer heat or cold?

If I had to choose, cold - there’s more ways to deal with that than the heat

12. Name one fact others may not know about you.

I’ve walked on a glacier in Alaska! Easily one of the most unforgettable moments of my life.

13. Are you shy?

Sometimes, it depends on the situation. Due to the nature of my career field I’ve learned how to be more open and talkative, but it’s a little hard at times. I’m naturally reserved and quiet and I guess this can come off as being ‘shy’, but I don’t really get nervous per se about talking to people. It’s more the fact that I don’t want to talk to other people lol

14. Preferred pronouns?

She/her

15. Biggest Pet Peeves?

When someone tells me either a) to do something I was already going to do or b) how to do something I already know how to do. Quickest ways to get me to stop listening to you.

16) What is your favorite “dere” type?

I didn’t know what this was so I looked it up - I guess the “dandere” type would describe me the best!

17. Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.

uh well this is a strange question. No I’m not at 1 and no I’m not at 10, but I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to be living the life that I am. I have goals in life that I haven’t met yet, so I’m not really where I want to be, but for the moment I’m happy and I think that’s enough.

18. What’s your main blog?

this one

19. List your side blogs and what they’re used for.

I don’t have side blogs, everything gets dumped here lol

20. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

There are many different sides to me! I might only show you a few at first but once I become more comfortable, buckle up :)

I’m tagging @rcse-tvler @sunshinezitao @marshmallow-phd @abunnycotton @xiuminscheeks @amaranth @hanszimmr @englishbunnyrocks and anyone else that wants to do this! If not that’s fine too 💕