#also i'm putting off many other things and thoughts

[vigilante-3073]

Daddy's Credit Card

Cullen Family x Female Vampire Reader (Platonic)

PART 6

Summary: Edward and Bella's wedding day was fast approaching. Bella begins to struggle with the idea of becoming a vampire. She also wonders what a future with Edward could look like if he continues his turbulent relationship with Y/N.

TW: Mentions of marriage, manipulation, lack of regard for the feelings of others.

Edward stood on the terrace, looking out into the forest and watching the sun rise through the trees. Y/N made her way over to him, crossing her arms and leaning against the railing.

The silence settled easily between them and for a moment it almost felt like it used to. He hoped that their tense exchange from the previous day would be forgotten, but Y/N had never been one for turning over new leaves.

Y/N had always been impulsive and Edward dealt with it well until her impulsivity put Bella at risk.

"That gaudy ring that your human has been parading around with leads me to believe that congratulations are in order... I didn't think you had it in you to make so many life ruining choices in so little time," Y/N stated.

"How did you find out?" Edward asked.

"The real question is why you hid it from me," She replied.

"I didn't hide it," Edward said.

"Did you think I wouldn't come back if you told me you were engaged to her?" Y/N questioned.

Edward hesitated, "I needed you," He stated softly.

Y/N hated that he thought the simple statement justified his lies to her. Edward had never been outright cruel, he moved in the shadows with practiced precision. He kept his hands clean while burying the knife in her flesh like he had done countless times before.

Edward lied by omission, but he knew exactly what he was doing.

"You needed my power, not me," Y/N said.

"I care about you, Y/N... I want you to be here with us," Edward said.

"Where exactly do you think I belong in this perfect life you've created for yourself, hmm? Following you and your wife around until she eventually dies so you're not alone?" Y/N asked, looking over at him.

"I'm turning her into a vampire after the wedding," He said.

"Oh, how sweet of you to consider me when planning your happy life," Y/N replied bitterly.

"Don't patronize me, Y/N," He snapped.

"You started it," She said calmly, straightening up and turning towards him.

Edward huffed, "That wasn't my intention," He said.

"You're a fool, Edward. I have told you that you need to cut her loose and you've chosen to shackle yourself to her instead," Y/N said.

"I love her," Edward stated.

"She is plain... The only thing that makes her interesting to you is the fact that you can't read her mind. The fascination will wear off after a few decades and you will toss her away like chewed gum," She said.

"I would never do that to her," Edward snapped.

"But you did it to me without an issue," Y/N replied coldly.

Edward huffed, "You were a danger to her, Y/N," He said.

"No, I wasn't. If I wanted the girl dead, she'd be dead and you know that," Y/N said.

Y/N was right, she didn't need to be able to use her powers to kill Bella. Y/N may have had some ill intent during their previous interactions, but she hadn't taken any action.

Y/N had been Edward's trusted friend for years and he couldn't imagine a future without her. He loved Bella, but Y/N was family and he wouldn't turn his back on her.

"You're right," Edward muttered.

Y/N looked over at him, almost confused by his response to her, "Did you just agree with me?" She questioned.

Edward shot her a look, "I did, but don't let it go to your head... I know that you haven't been welcoming to Bella but I want to be able to trust you around her. I'm willing to continue our friendship if you are," Edward said.

"Is your little girlfriend going to be okay with this?" Y/N questioned.

"It doesn't matter. You're one of the most important people in my life and she'll have to deal with it," Edward said.

Y/N smirked, "Already picking favorites before you're even married... Good luck with the wedding," She said, stepping away from the railing and moving inside.

Edward lingered on the balcony, he felt unsettled after their interaction and he couldn't pinpoint why. Y/N knew about Edward's engagement and the plan to change Bella after the wedding which had been his biggest cause for concern.

No one in the family had told her, which meant that the news had come from Bella directly. Edward's relationship with Bella had been strained lately and an unsupervised interaction with Y/N could definitely explain it.

Bella hadn't been sleeping, her nights were filled with bad dreams and restless sleep. When Edward asked her about what was worrying her, she brushed him off and told him that everything was fine. Edward hated not knowing what she was thinking, she had been quiet and it worried him.

There had been no yelling or use of excessive force during his conversation with Y/N which should have made him feel better about their situation, but it didn't.

They were in uncharted territory and Edward couldn't help but feel on edge. Bella was still an undoubtedly fragile human and he just needed to keep her safe until the wedding. After that, she would be a vampire and a permanent part of the Cullen family.

Edward suddenly stiffened when he realized where Y/N had gone. She would do anything she could to push him and Bella further apart, even if it meant using his own words against him.

...

Edward raced to town and arrived in Bella's bedroom quickly, Y/N was sitting in a chair while the young human hovered awkwardly by the door.

"Hello, Edward. I was just updating your human on the details of our talk. I think you have a couple things that need to be discussed," Y/N said, standing up from the chair.

Edward grabbed her wrist, "Why would you do this?" He asked angrily.

"I just think everyone needs to know where they stand before our friendship can continue. The human agrees, don't you?" Y/N asked, looking over at Bella.

"Leave her out of this," Edward snapped, grip tightening on her wrist.

"Stop it, both of you. My god, you're like children and it's ridiculous," Bella said, Edward released Y/N's arm.

"Look, she's right about knowing where everyone stands, but I know that she only came here to try and mess with my head," Bella stated.

"Not as stupid as she looks," Y/N muttered.

"Shut up," Edward snapped.

"Can you go? You've caused a sufficient amount of issues now, Y/N," Bella mumbled, shifting uncomfortably on her feet and crossing her arms.

"It would be my pleasure," She said, turning her attention to Edward.

"Have fun cleaning up the mess you've created, Edward," Y/N smiled, disappearing without another word.

Edward let out a huff, "Bella, I was going to tell you about reaching out to her," He started.

"When?" Bella asked, making her way over to him.

"You haven't been sleeping lately and I didn't want to add another thing onto your plate," Edward said.

"I haven't been sleeping because of all of this," Bella said, gesturing between them, "She hates me and she's getting in my head about everything. I have nightmares that she kills me before I make it to the altar," Bella said.

"She wouldn't do that," Edward stated.

"I think you're seriously underestimating her, Edward," Bella said, shaking her head.

"Y/N has a problem with me, not you. I haven't been entirely honest with her lately and that's on me," Edward stated.

"Why are you keeping things from her? If she's really your friend, you should be able to tell her everything," Bella said.

"Y/N and I have a complicated relationship, Bella. I can't just abandon her and I need you to respect that," He said.

Bella huffed, "What if I said 'it's her or me'?" She questioned.

Edward faltered, opening his mouth before quickly closing it again. He didn't know what to say, he assumed that the answer would be easy but he hesitated.

Edward had never allowed himself to think about fully giving up on Y/N. He didn't love her, but she was his best friend. He felt like he was missing something when she wasn't around.

Having Y/N disappear from his life had proved to him that he would never be ready to close the door on her.

"Wow... I don't even know what to say," She muttered, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

"I don't love her, Bella, but she's my best friend and I won't abandon her," Edward said.

"She's a big girl, Edward. I'm sure she can handle it," Bella stated.

"No, she can't," Edward snapped.

Bella looked shocked before she let out a shaky exhale, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you... I just- This is something I am not willing to compromise on. Y/N has been through a lot and I owe it to her," Edward said.

"Fine, but I need to know that nothing is going to happen before or during the wedding," Bella said.

"I promise," Edward nodded.

Bella hoped that she could trust him, but the nightmares continued to plague her. She wanted to tell him that he needed to choose her, but his mind was made up.

His hesitation when she asked him to pick between her and Y/N only served to solidify her doubts. When she put him on the spot, he picked Y/N and in high pressure situations he was likely to do the same thing.

The wedding was only days away and a pit was beginning to form in her stomach. Marriage was one thing, but becoming a vampire was not something that she could opt out of easily. Edward put a lot of weight into the idea of marriage and once she became like him, she would be stuck.

Bella couldn't walk away from him after he gave her immortality. She also struggled to cope with the idea of having her entire life be stuck in such a toxic loop.

Y/N was reactive and manipulative, pushing them apart whenever they got closer to one another. She was possessive of Edward and had some serious issues that would interfere with their relationship for the foreseeable future.

Bella hoped that things would fall into place, but she was beginning to feel like they never would.

...

Edward and Bella were getting married tomorrow. Alice had planned absolutely everything for the wedding. She took care of the guest list, the invitations, the flowers, the dress and everything in between.

The property of the Cullen house had been fully transformed for the wedding. Intricate flowers were hanging from overhead and a beautiful arch had been created for them to get married under.

Bella was still having nightmares, but refused to acknowledge them as the wedding day approached. Bella hadn't heard a peep from Y/N since she meddled in their relationship after her conversation with Edward.

Y/N had moved back into the Cullen house, but had been keeping to herself for the most part. Bella was almost beginning to wonder if Edward was keeping her in check or if she was quiet for a more malicious reason.

Edward visited Bella in her bedroom before his bachelor party and they talked about his past. The conversation threw her off, it almost seemed like he was trying to give her a reason to call off their engagement.

Their relationship was still tense, but it was starting to go back to the way it had been. Despite Y/N trying to get under Bella's skin about Edward reaching out to her, the conversation had actually helped.

They were able to lay their cards on the table and be honest. Edward's connection to Y/N was complex and problematic but it was always going to exist. Their conversation lifted some of the weight from her shoulders, but hadn't relieved it entirely.

Bella sent him off to his brothers for his bachelor party before settling in for a night of restless sleep. Edward's bachelor party involved a rather entertaining hunt and some juvenile behavior with his brothers until the sun began to rise.

Edward walked through the forest on his way back to the Cullen house with Jasper and Emmett. Morning dew glistened on the greenery and birds began to chirp in the trees.

"I wonder what Y/N is going to get up to today. That's one hell of a wild card to have at your wedding," Emmett said with a smirk.

"She's not going to try anything," Edward stated.

"You sure about that?" Jasper questioned.

Edward huffed, "I don't know what she's up to lately," He said.

"Might be best to put Carlisle on Y/N duty. He can keep an eye on her for you," Emmett said.

"If I do that she'll think I don't trust her," Edward said.

"But you don't," Emmett stated, climbing over a fallen tree trunk.

"I don't want her to know that," Edward shrugged.

"I'm glad she's moving back in. I missed having her around," Emmett said.

"Me too," Jasper nodded, "She's fun and she makes you loosen up a bit," He said, looking over at Edward.

"She hates Bella," Edward stated.

"Nah, I don't think so. Just seems like she's trying to keep you from doing something stupid," Emmett said, Edward shot him a glare.

"Hey, I don't think it's stupid, but she definitely does," Emmett said, holding his hands up.

Edward huffed, "I'll talk to her. She has to know how important the wedding is to us," He said.

"Good luck with that," Jasper smirked.

The trio fell silent as they approached the Cullen house, splitting off into their respective rooms while Edward made his way to Y/N's bedroom.

He knew that Emmett was right and he needed to talk to Y/N. She had been far too quiet for it to mean anything good. He knocked on her door gently, lowering his hand and waiting for her to reply from inside.

Edward knew she was in her room and the silence frustrated him. Edward opened the door after a moment had passed, Y/N was sitting in her armchair with a book in her lap.

"No response means no one's home," Y/N muttered, flipping the page in her book.

Edward stepped into her room, closing the door behind himself, "I need to talk to you," He said.

"Well, if I wanted to talk to you I would've opened the door," Y/N replied.

"I'm getting married today and I need you to promise me that you won't do anything stupid," Edward said.

"I'm not willing to make that promise, Edward," Y/N stated.

"I can't have you there if you're going to pose a risk to the humans we've invited," He said.

"Uninvite me then," She said, closing her book and looking up at him.

Edward huffed, "You're my friend and I want you to be there. I don't think it's an outlandish request to ask you to behave," Edward said.

"Clearly you haven't met me," Y/N stated.

"I thought we were starting over after our last conversation," He said.

"Are you talking about the conversation where you invited me to be a third wheel in your marriage? Because I don't consider that to be a promising jumping off point for us," Y/N stated.

Edward shook his head, "You're insufferable, you know that? I have been bending over backwards trying to make things work between us and you don't care," He said.

"You brought me here under false pretenses, Edward. You have dragged me along like a fish on a hook for half a century. Forgive me for making you grovel a little bit," Y/N snapped.

"You're a hypocrite... You talk about the things that I've done, but what about you? You haven't always had good intentions with me either," Edward stated.

"We're both awful people, but at least I'm willing to admit it," She shrugged.

Edward sighed, "I don't want to fight with you, Y/N. I just want us to be civil and I would like to have you at the wedding," He said.

"I'll go, but I can't promise to be happy about it," Y/N replied.

"That's all I ask," Edward said.

[lustlovehart]

I remember seeing somewhere that the monster!twist Au takes place in the Middle Ages. So if it took place in the modern era, would the monster!twist cast and monsters in general be less likely to kill? Because I get it. In the Middle Ages, there was nothing exciting to do but kill, plus people were constantly trespassing on their territory, whether by accident or purposely. Buttt in the modern era, there would be more things to do. Like for the ones who can shape-shift, they could go out partying and eat good food every once in a while. And their territories could be blocked off and marked to the public so there won't be as many accidental trespassing. Then there's the weaponry we have. Guns, bombs, and other things. Sure, some of them can use magic, but I'm pretty sure most of them are not bullet- or bomb-proof.

warnings: Human eating,

I don't think they would be less likely to kill persayy. The cast didn't kill simply for entertainment, while a majority of them do take enjoyment from playing with their food (unfortunately for poor MH!Reader), they do need to consume to stay alive. So I don't personally believe they be less likely to killl, it does still happen in a modern setting.

Along with that, in terms of consumption, I thought of it similar to Tokyo Ghoul (Though less extreme)!! They can eat human food, but after consuming human and vitality for so long, stomaching regular meals is a struggle. It won't weaken their bodies, and they can keep it down for like, 10 minutes, but after that, they gotta puke it up. They can still feel the effects from the food though, if it's good food it won't taste horrible to them, their body will just reject it. So unfotunately, I think eating people is still something they have to do 😔.

I like the idea of territories being marked off! It lessens the chances but there are always those people who simply must break the rules... It's also a bit harder to block off areas that take up a large part of the world (Savanaclaw with an entire savana, Octavinelle with the ocean, and Scarabia with the desert).

Weaponry is definitely more advanced, and those with magic are more protected, but another thing is that, they either 1. are extremely durable, 2. don't have a tangible form, or 3. immortal. which is the biggest problem. I do think morden weapons could put a dent in them to keep them back! But never away forever. ╥﹏╥

For the most part though, killings definetely do happen less often from people not coming to them anymore, but yknow... If the food doesn't come to you, you have to get it yourself. andd...

well, night is always the best time to find lonely food wandering about :)

[daenerysmacfarlane]

Friends Will Be Friends - Rupert Campbell-Black and Declan O'Hara

Rupert Campbell-Black x Bestie Reader, Rupert Campbell-Black x Taggie O'Hara, Declan O'Hara x fem reader 18+

Authors Note: Another Rivals fanfic from me?!!! What?!!! Told you the brainrot is real. Spoilers for Rivals, you’ve been warned. This one is not a full smut warning just a little bit of spice with our dear Irishman, Declan but also Rivals does not do Rupert as a bestie justice. The books go into great detail about how he can actually be an amazing friend, especially to Billy Lloyd-Foxe. Inspired by a shit week in my world that only didn't get to me because I'm moving in with my bestie soon. Readers nickname is Snow White which is what my nan used to call me because all animals love me hehe. Characters belong to Jilly Cooper. Enjoyyyy!!!!!

Rupert Campbell-Black was worried. It was a strange feeling, he was never worried. His time as a show-jumper taught him how to be calm and collected at all times. But the woman he called his little sister, his best friend since her birth, his Snow White on account of all animals wild and domestic loving her instantly, wasn’t “feeling great” and cancelled Friday family dinner. 

Something was wrong. She cancelled dinner. She always has Friday family dinner no matter what. If she was having a bad week, it was the thing that always healed her. Especially since Taggie had joined. She was the first one Rupert told about him and Taggie and she was over the moon, after all he loved her most besides Taggie and the animals. Rupert’s hands trembled dialling the O’Hara’s number. A sweet voice belonging to his other half answered the phone. 

“Rupert what is it?” Taggie’s voice calmed his thumping heart but only a little. 

“It’s Snow, she cancelled dinner.” His voice cracked. 

He heard Taggie call out over the phone. “Sorry Freddie, Caitlin and Daddy are watching the football. Maybe she just needs a night to herself. Daddy said it’s been rough at work and he caught her crying in her office.”

Rupert sighed, feeling guilty. He was the one who recommended Snow for Venturer. She was the perfect employee, insanely talented, hardworking and everyone adored her. Declan was more besotted with her than anyone and always singing her praises. Rupert suspected Declan’s feelings were always a little more than professional towards her.  

“I’m going over there. She wouldn’t leave any of us alone if we weren’t okay. You’re coming too, don’t bring any food I’ll grab a big greasy pizza on the way.” He said. 

Taggie hums. “You know she might be sick so the pizza might not be a good idea. And I have to start dinner for Daddy, Caitlin and Freddie. I assume that he’s staying, Valerie’s not much of a cook.”

“She’s not fucking sick, Tag. I know her! Fuck the dinner, bring them too. And Gertrude. Love you darling, see you in a bit.” Rupert put down the receiver. 

He winced. She wasn’t sick. She would’ve told him if she was, she’s told him about her bowel movements before for Christ’s sake. He thought back to the day she was born. Rupert was ten, waiting in the hall with his dad. Snow had been born around about three hours earlier. Her dad ushered them in and told his father to say hello to his new goddaughter. Rupert fell in love with Snow the minute he saw her. A real sibling love that he never felt with Adrian. Everyone joked that Snow was his favourite sibling and she was in many ways. All the girls Rupert ever brought home were insanely jealous of her, everyone except his Tag. 

He promised her dad to protect her when he passed six years ago but Rupert had been protecting her from the moment they met. 

But he couldn’t have protected her from this week. It was just a week that everyone gets, that makes them tilt their head to the sky and ask any deity ‘why?’ 

To begin the week off, it rained sideways whenever Snow went outside. Then she had to fire an assistant audio engineer. The little shit was incompetent and it was her job as Venturer’s head of Audio but she hated conflict. She then stayed at the studio and worked until the wee hours to fix up the mix on Declan’s interview with Princess Margaret. All in all, she was sure she’d only got around 8 hours sleep all week. After a tense meeting with the rest of the consortium, Rupert’s dearest Snow White fled to her office and just sat in her chair. It was only when Declan O’Hara, absolute angel he is, came to check on her after that everything just got far too much and she had enough. 

Declan sat there, brows furrowed at the bawling, snotty girl in front of him. He felt a bit guilty himself having been a bit of an ogre lately waiting for his and Maud’s divorce to go through. He felt a little selfish too as he’d actually come in to ask her out on a date… and a possible shag. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way she clung to him and moaned in his ear in their late night tryst last week. Fuck, Tag and Rupert were going to kill him if they found out about that.

He was brought back by her mentioning that his daughter and Rupert were due at her house that night for family dinner night. 

“I just… I can’t remember the last time I had a night all to myself. I don’t know if I’ll ever have one ever again!” She cried even harder than Declan thought a person could. 

“Cancel the dinner.” Declan said. 

“What?”

“You heard me. Fuck em, say you’re sick. Run a bubble bath and watch a movie.”

She sighed. “Wonderful idea, Declan but I’m a terrible liar.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll keep Taggie occupied. Football’s on tonight and Caitlin is home, I’ll just invite Freddie over. Take tomorrow off as well.” He smirked. 

“I could kiss you.” She sighed. 

“Could ya do more than that, darlin?” 

She did exactly what Declan said, hoping to all the gods above that Rupert believed her and took Tag out to Bar Sinister like she suggested. Snow snuggled up on the couch in her fluffiest dressing gown post bubble bath, having just put a tape of Young Frankenstein in the VCR. She’d order some takeout in an hour but she just wanted to destress and enjoy the silence. She knew she’d have to thank Declan later. 

Not ten minutes into the movie, there was knocking and doorbells going off. She had the latest VCR courtesy of Rupert which came with the game changing feature of pause. She paused the movie and went to the door. Snow was met with a chorus of her name for there were her friends. Rupert, Taggie, Caitlin, Freddie, Lizzie and Bas who were bored and tagged along once they found out where the group were headed. Behind them was Declan with a sheepish grin on his face. The bunch were holding all sorts of treats and drinks and Rupert gave her the biggest bear hug. 

“I’m sorry it’s been a shit week, Snow. You should’ve told me.” Rupert sighed. 

Her arms tighten around her best friend. “Would you have still shown up if I had?”

“Of course. You would done the same for us.” Taggie joined the hug and squeezed her. 

She moved aside and the others filed into her house. Lizzie noticed the movie first. 

“Ooh what are we watching?” Lizzie asked

“Young Frankenstein. I’ve only just started it. The remote is on the coffee table. Rewind it and I’ll get some of the snacks ready.” She smiled. 

Declan held up the popcorn and headed to the kitchen. Snow began to follow behind when she heard Bas in the living room. 

“Right how the fuck do you work this fucking thing?” Bas mutters. 

Freddie’s laughter ran through the house. “Oh giz it ‘ere. They don’t call me the King of Electronics for nuffink.” 

In the kitchen, Declan and Snow got the bowls out and put the popcorn in the microwave. Declan had a cigarette hanging precariously between his lips and was taking in Snow’s gown and fuzzy slippers. She looked back at the handsome man and frowned. He gave an apologetic shrug. 

“I tried darlin’, I really did.”

“Oh yes I’m sure you did.” She laughed. 

He smirked. “Ya got anything on under there?” 

She smiled and pulled the Irishman close to her. 

“Were you going to come by later to find out?”

“Nah, you needed tonight to rest. But tomorrow… you heard Maud and I are finally done?” He held the lovely girl close. 

She nodded. Tag had told her earlier, glad to finally be done with Maud and her mess. It had explained why Declan had been incredibly foul all week although she knew he’d make it up to her later and she was most definitely looking forward to that. He could do that while she was thanking him. She plucked the cigarette from his lips and took a puff, something she only did in times of stress and once every six months. 

“Christ, you’re magnificent.” He sighed. 

Declan leant down and captured her lips. She moaned instantly, her hands going straight to his curls. The pair pulled apart and rested their foreheads together. 

“Can I stay tonight, Snow?” He asked quietly. 

“What about Rupert and Tag?” She replied. 

He shrugged once more, not caring in the slightest. “They’ll have to find out sooner or later.” 

She sighed as his hands roamed her body, resolve crumbled by the second. She met his lips again as they waited for the popcorn to cook. However it’s not the ding of the microwave that pulls Snow White away from her Prince Charming, but rather Rupert’s anguished cry after what he’s just witnessed. 

“What the fuck is going on here?!” He seethed. 

Snow looked between her lover and her best friend. “Well shit, cat’s out of the bag now dearest.”

[storkmuffin]

The Magic of Yungi (?!?!)

Essay I didn't mean to write

Comparing Mingi and Yunho's Korean Speech Patterns.

@fayet you said: I'd love to hear more about Yunho, because as a non-korean speaking person his language always sounds very proper to me, and they use him for MCs duties a lot (which he does beautifully, but again - a lot of what they actually say gets lost in translation), so I always thought he might have been trained to speak some sort of standard korean. And on the other hand I'd love to hear more about Mingi, because just from listening (again as a non-korean speaker) to him I find his way of speaking somehow odd? I can't put my finger on it, but there's something in the way he speaks that confuses me, especially compared to Yunho. But aren't they roughly from the same area and have known each other for a long time? It confuses me., and I'd love to have someone explain!

Is it just me, or does it happen to anyone else that when you sit and carefully listen to someone without the ability to interrupt them, you fall in love with them a little bit? Anyone? OK maybe it's just me. (This request made me listen to Yunho very closely for the first time in one of his Lives and goddamn it I can not be crushing out on this many people at the same time, I am a grown up).

But in any case!

I am not a linguist, Korean language expert, vocal coach or any of that, but I found that you were actually spot on about how oddly both of them speak in their different performance personae!

Yunho has a TV MC persona and a "real self" persona he does on his Lives. I don't know if it's audible to a non-native speaker but Yunho's TV MC Persona sounds like the older brother to the Real Self Persona - related, similiar, shares the same parents and nearly the same inflections but with very different orientations. Mingi has the Fix-On Rapper persona and the persona I'm going to call The Unfixed, and these don't seem related in any way because everything about how he speaks abruptly changes.

Yunho first, since he's the one that most interests you.

One of the things that is very prominent about Yunho to me is (ironically) his quiet competence in so many different areas. For instance, he's beautiful, like all of them are, but his beauty is quiet. He's not as kewpie-doll pretty as HongJoong, his bone structure isn't as insistent as Wooyoung's, he doesn't give off the ooh-a-dark-vampire-does-he-wanna-fuck-me-or-kill-me aura that Mingi and Seongwha can put out, and so on. He's a terrific dancer, but he doesn't have San's surreal present build or way of moving like he's going to rip out of his clothes. He is actually a backbone vocalist of this group, but Wooyoung takes a lot of the kill parts, and Jongho just bulldozes over everyone else, in addition to which he blends a little too well with Seonghwa and Yeosang to my ears. This isn't meant to disparage him in any way - it's not necessarily the flashiest performer that's the most poweful. He seems, in his activities in this group, reserved. He's taken, in a slightly different direction than Seonghwa, the role of being a mostly stabilizing, pacifying character, in contrast to the others who actively 'act out.' (I would include the leader HongJoong as one of the ferals).

By the same token, Yunho's way of acting out the very standard, very strict 'Korean TV Emcee' way of speaking is also quietly competent. He's so good at it, in fact, that it sounds almost natural, like he might talk this way all the time. The thing is, the Korean TV host way of speaking is very strictly regimented. There's both a pronunciation element and a vocalization element to 'talking like the host' for broadcasts.

Vocalization first: Just from the opening sequence for this, you can hear both Yunho and Jongho "singing" their words, very consciously. Nobody in Korean normal speech puts this much tonal variation in their sentences.

호빵 윤호 is how Yunho introduces himself, and he's basically, for all intents and purpses, singing. 호 and 빵 are the same note with the same time-value, and 윤 is a different note from 호 and 빵, and then he puts a fade out to the final 호 syllable of his name, lowering it a bit as he 'fades it out'. He also counts before he starts speaking, to cue Jongho. Jongho does the same thing, calling himself 찐빵 종호. Jongho being a singer manages to sing the syllables 찐 and 빵 to match what Yunho does with 호 and 빵 but he can't sustain his breath or his conviction long enough to do the same fade out on saying his actual name. He just stops singing and says 종호입니다 instead of singing it.

They put the actual line that Yunho is reading in green front at the 0:47 mark, and if you listen along to each syllable, you can probably hear that he's still singing, and it's musical because there's also a deliberately calculated between 생명이 움트는 계절 봄을 and 앞두고. He's controlling his breath to ensure evenness of vocal delivery, as well as to avoid being monotone. This is necessary because the song that Korean MCs have to sing is a friendly one, and men need to stay in this tenor range, without vocal fry, overly deep or booming bass notes, with an energized (but not frenetic) bounce to sound engaged.

And now the pronunciation element: My pet theory is that Korean is spoken with the lips and the front of the palate, just behind the teeth, whereas English is located further inside the mouth. If you don't consciously seek to push the frontal part of your speaking apparatus into action, you can end up with what Koreans will feel is slurred (어눌한) pronunciation. Yunho has very precise, clean Korean pronunciation because he's never not engaging this frontal apparatus. (I am increasingly sure linguists and vocal coaches are going to have professional terms for this sort of thing that I am just making up as I go).

Furthermore, I think Yunho is a really fast thinker. He's able to edit out and suppress the usual mouth sounds humans make in casual speech - sighs, giggling, smacking, ums, ahs, err's (or in Korean, 어, 아, 그니까, 저, 음) - which then lets the thing he needs to say come through like a smooth string of pearls. You have to be really smart to do this, and I have no problem praising this specific type of intelligence, because I have it too.

However! When he's not deliberately 'playing at being MC' both his vocalization as well as pronunciation change a bit, because he obviously doesn't sing anymore, and he engages the back of his throat more. He scrapes at his throat, engages in vocal fry, and allows himself a few 음s, a few giggles and sighs, and lets himself make these human sounds as he decides what he wants to say. He smacks his lips a lot when he's not being MC, so that's a natural habit he's consciously suppressing during his MC roles.

When he's talking to Atiny in a Live, he will also use more natural speech choices of saying things like 그렇다구 as opposed to 그렇다고. The difference between ㅜ and ㅗ is that things like 그랬구~ 했구~ 좋구~ 보구~ sound friendly and informal and warm, but 그랬고, 했고, 좋고, 보고 are grammatically correct and precise, and sound more professional. When you extend out the vowel in ~구, it sounds friendly, whereas if you extend out the vowel in ~고 it sounds corrective, like you're ramping up to a diatribe. Nevertheless, Yunho never slurs his words. He never swallows or chews his sounds, and like I said, he sings less when he's just chatting, but he is also never monotone.

The deliberate and sustained practice he must have done (possibly with formal training) to talk in this MC-newscaster way has in all likelihood permanently braced in his pronunciation such that it will always retain the clarity that you are able to hear even inf you're not a native speaker of Korean.

Moving on to Mingi!

Mingi has a line in the song that he speaks in Arriba right before the 'Fix On' that brings on his uh, Fixed On persona. Sorry for how huge this screen cap is but I am not used to making recordings with my phone.

Anyway, Mingi's line is this:

야 애들아 진짜 재밌었어 나 가 볼테니깐 재밌게 놀아아 돼, 알겠지?

But the way he pronounces it, as 'himself' perhaps or at least, the Unfixed, sounds close to a speech impediment. This is definitely 어눌한 (slurred) pronunciation.

Assuming everybody who reads this can at least sound out Korean, this is how Mingi sounds to me:

야 에에드와 지짜 재미써써 나 가 보테이깡 재미께 노아야대에 아게찌?

He's just swallowing and dribbling away syllables all over the place. I honestly thought he must've been raised abroad, and turned into one of those Korean boys I see a lot (and for some reason it's usually boys?) who can pronounce neither language properly, whose grammer is always a bit off in both languages. What a shock that he was Korean born and raised!

BUT THEN, the Fix On! apparently is the thing that fully engages that frontal palate, soft palate, I don't know what the words are - the front of the mouth mechanisms I was talking about, because his pronunciation when he's rapping is diction out of this world. It actually veers over to the other extreme - it's too sharp.

When he's talking on Lives though, Mingi engages his mouth apparatus in a way that is significantly different from Yunho. They're both speaking Seoul Standard Korean - Maybe I just can't hear whatever native dialect their parents may have given them (especially Yunho, assuming his parents speak in the Joella dialect) but it sounds very Seoul to me. Mingi speaks from deep in his throat. So his sounds are coming from deeper in his mouth than Yunho. His ㅋ and ㄱ and ㅌ sounds are almost at where the R sounds come from in German and French. 특히 for example, which he says here, sounds 'spat out' from inside his throat, because he puts such an emphasis on the ㄱ sound in 특, that the ㅎ of 히 remains trapped back there, so it comes out 틐키 rather than 특 from just behind the teeth and 히 as a separate exhalation of air. That's why he sounds so different from Yunho. I think if asked, older people would say Yunho speaks accurately and would slightly disparage Mingi by saying he just 툭툭 뱉어 (spits his consonants). But that spit-out-consonants effect comes from barely moving Mingi his lips and making most of his sounds from the back of his throat. If you look at the tension that Yunho retains in his cheeks as his speaks, you can see how hang-dog Mingi is, because he's relying on his throat, rather than his facial muscles, to say Korean words.

This is a slightly childish, or maybe child-like way of speaking. It's definitely unpolished. And that's a very uh, heart-affecting way for someone who looks like Mingi, who looks like he has all the plans, all the urges, will stop at nothing, and is also a goddamn Calvin Klein underwear model, to speak! It makes everything he says sound SO solemn and sincere, like a little kid explaining his homework to you because he truly believes his answers on the little piece of paper really, truly matter. It makes him unexpectedly very cute.

By the way, at 12:16 of Yunho's live above, he advises showering with goggles if the Atiny listening get scared that they might have a ghost in the shower with them. Did anyone who isn't Korean understand that at all? I can explain if necessary, but this essay is now too long. I will just say - It was so fucking deadpan but he is absolutely just as weird as Mingi and JUST AS SOLEMN about how funny he is. No wonder they're best friends! And it really sealed my fate. Wooyoung is Seonghwa is Mingi is San is now Yunho to me. What is going on!??!?

[csphire]

I think what really breaks the Solavellan romance in VG for me is how much closure for the Inquisitor is sidelined in favor of Solas's half of the relationship. I get it. Forgiveness is important and it's his lowest moment but after everything Lavellan as a character had to go through and experienced, everything the character canonically loses, there's something off about seeing it all kind of end with an anti-climactic "Lavellan joins him in fade prison so he doesn't have to be alone." It feels almost like she's his reward. I'm glad for some people they like the ending but, man, it just doesn't sit right with me. Who comforts Lavellan over her lost friends? Who is there for her while the blight destroys Southern Thedas? Who helped her adjust to life after the loss of her arm? And unlike with Solas, none of that was the result of her choices or due to mistakes she made. Idk maybe I'm just wildly off base but I feel like while at least some of the writing has compassion for Solas there is none that is tangibly afforded to the Inquisitor. It feels like compared to the Warden and Hawke at least, a Solas-manced Inquisitor gets such a lack of care. They do almost all of the giving and they lose so much but it's never really tangibly acknowledged within the VG romance. people like to say "just head-canon it" but why am I doing the writers job for them? They had this romance span two games and involve a major antagonist, there should have been a more thoughtful and nuanced ending for VG.

I agree, with all the build-up in Trespasser it felt set up for the Inquisitor to play a bigger part in DA4. And out of all of the companions, it also felt like Varric was the one who helped the most, for not just Lavellan but any Inquisitor, to pick up the pieces after Solas left. He gave them a Kirkwall title, and key to the city, and basically rolled out the red carpet to help them feel like they had a place to call home when they would inevitably leave Skyhold behind for good. I feel like he led the charge in tracking down Solas in what I've seen in the comics too. So his death is a gut punch to any Inquisitor but it's just brushed aside and minimized for the plot twist and so a Lavellan can choose to go with Solas into the Fade. Please keep in mind, one thing I've not gotten a clear answer on, as I've not made it so far into the game is, did Rook know Varric was dead when he encourages the Inqusitor to redeem Solas? But on another note, the Veilguard broke at least one rule when it came to party sizes so I don't understand why we could not have broken another rule and had two protagonists to control when it came to dialogue at least. And many of us would have loved to have seen our Inqusitor fighting again as a temporary companion too because so many in the past in FB groups would drop ableist comments on how the Inqusitor cannot fight anymore with just one hand. It sickens me BioWare seemed to double down on this. With all the tough things out there they have handled in the past to address racism, sexism, gay and trans rights they shy away from addressing ableism? Like with Neve if we told her to take it easy because she was hurt at the beginning she could have had a talk with Rook about coddling her because of her artificial leg. But that didn't happen or any comment made about it at all. On one hand not addressing and focusing on her character instead might be cathartic for someone in a similar situation in real life. But honestly, I feel like Neve missing a leg was just put there to silence any criticism of benching the Inquisitor and in your words turning a Lavellan into Solas's reward. But I have seen some comments here and there that Mike did not want a Lavellan happy ending to happen at all. And it was the writers who pushed for it to happen for the sake of the Solas fans. So I sit here with a lot of mixed feelings about the whole thing. Two of my favorite characters in the whole Dragon Age series and one of them murdered the other and it leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth. I don't think Solas should have been so much of an antagonist in Veilguard mainly because he was not in the Inquisition. For me, Solas felt so out of character in Veilguard. Plus what he did ruined any chance for my Lavellan reconciling with him because he's now killed two of his friends one of them a mutual of my Lavellan's. For me at least one does not run off with someone who has a track record like that ten years after he dumped my ass. Plus giving Solas a second chance feels... dirty, like an insult to Varric's memory. That and Lavellan deserves better than to sacrifice her safety, comfort, and possibly even life for Solas at this point. And I hate how the writers and the whole game sets things up that leaves me feeling like that.

[fictionalcreator]

WE CAN TAKE THIS EVEN FURTHER

Maybe, with the fear of heights, he actually gets calmer the closer to the edge of a roof he is? Maybe not for things above a certain height, but if it's just two or three stories, then being close to the ends brings him a sense of reassurance. 'Cause there's no wall. No support contraption deliberately designed to only work with a counterweight. Nothing stopping him from just. Leaving. Jumping off. If he really wanted to. Which he doesn't, of course. That would hurt. But still. He could. The option exists now.

I like to think that the tower walls aren't just a vertical incline, it's actually slightly concave and surprisingly smooth, making it so you have no possibility of using the wall to support your descent. If you're going in or out, you're either like, a gecko, or you're trusting your entire body weight to the hair rope. (Or you're using the secret entrance Brother used before Cale's hair was long enough, but. Y'know.)

(Can't believe I didn't mention how having access to Roksu allows Cale to cuss that's so vital)

(Also putting the rest of this under a read more 'cause uhhhh I have so many Thoughts asdfghjkl when i tell you that i spend ALL DAY thinking about this AU...)

I also like to think that Cale's nightly visits to Kim Roksu's body are still due to God of Death shenanigans. Like, maybe in this fairy-tale world, the Hentinuse family receive the favor of GoD, and Cale ended up especially "blessed."

Maybe he encountered a "death" too young, but his parents had a fortuitous encounter with an Ancient Power of longevity in the form of an item. Something like the vitality bottle. When they used the item, it fused with Cale's body, manifesting most prominently in his hair.

Unfortunately for them, that was White Star's "personal" life-extending Ancient Power item that he THOUGHT was well-hidden...oh well. Guess there's nothing for it but to get his "item" back (kidnap and imprison a literal baby).

As Cale grows up and "Brother" starts to leave for longer periods of time, the isolation really really starts to fuck with Cale. GoD takes pity on this child and uses sleep (part of GoD's realm) to bring him to a friend. A kindred spirit.

Sidenote, but I'm only up to chapter 659, so this question may or may not be answered later, but do we know if Heni!KRS has og!KRS's abilities? Are there two copies of Record and Instant out there? Or are they uniquely embedded in og!KRS's soul? Like the Ancient Powers?

I've actually been thinking for a while that the abilities of KRS's world bear a closer resemblance to the Ancient Powers than the magic that Rosalyn and the other mages use (used without incantations/scrolls or mana(?), intrinsic to the individual, cannot be learned or [in general] transferred, must be awakened to, seem to reflect some aspect of the holder's will in a way learned magic does not. It's like, while magic can be bent to one's will in unique ways [see, everything about Rosalyn], Ancient Powers and abilities are more like a direct manifestation of that will, channeled through the very world around you. Sometimes the medium is the elements, sometimes its something more intangible, sometimes it's your own body)

So, I wonder, if krs!Cale took his abilities with him across worlds, what about Heni!KRS? Did he manifest his own power, something that could rival Instant and Record? Something that lets him continue on as if he still has those powers? To the point that he can remain the lynchpin of the company?

Well, all that's to say that I think the apocalypse still happens in this AU. Probably for different reasons than in canon, but I'm going off of vibes.

The years have not been kind to the two of them. No matter his desire to be "trash" and escape from Brother's grasp, Cale has been unable to leave the tower. Maybe he doesn't have enough hair to serve as his counterweight yet. Maybe he doesn't have enough drive to overcome the fear instilled in him by watching something fall onto the craggy rock below. Maybe somewhere, in the depths of his soul, there's a little voice saying that this is fine. At least you have food and water and shelter. Even a friend. Even books and anything you could ask for. Even Brother.

He hates that voice. It's a coward. He's not like Roksu, who's okay with running away when things get tough and has learned that he shouldn't spend precious energy worrying about others. He doesn't like cowards. He can't help but think that, if he had been in charge of Roksu's body 24/7, he would have died a few times by now. Even as it is, he's gotten Roksu in trouble a few times over the past few years.

Roksu may get upset with him, cuss him out, or kick him out for a while, but in the end, Cale comes back, and Roksu lets him in, grumbling things like, "Crazy bastard. Who told you to do something so troublesome?" But he never kicks Cale out until after the deed is done, and that's how Cale knows that he approves. At least a little bit.

Then, one day, Roksu rejects him from entering at all.

...That's weird.

Brother's been home for a few days, so Cale hadn't been sleeping as much, so he couldn't be positive what was going on over there, but...the last time this happened...

Cale tries not to worry too much. Tries not to overthink it. But he can't help it. There's not much more to do but think in this damn tower.

He outright rejection continues for days. Then weeks. Then months. And each day, Cale can feel his nerves fraying away. Brother's been gone for a while now, too. Longer than he said he'd be away.

For a moment, the thought flashes through his mind.

What if Brother never comes back?

And the thought fills him with such an intense spike of anxiety that the world spins it makes him sick and he hates it because he doesn't even like Brother. Yet, the thought of being alone is somehow so, so much worse.

By the 6-month mark of Roksu outright rejecting him every night, the hallucinations are back in full swing. They'd gotten really bad back when he was a child (he still is, in many ways, but let's gloss over that for now), to the point where it was impossible to even see the room around him. There was just this field of a flower. Not a type of flower, just the same fucking single flower.

White with five petals, like a star.

Out of all of the illusions that haunt his senses when he gets too alone and starts to feel like a stranger in his own body, that's the one that gets under his skin the worst. It's so quiet, even peaceful there, but it fills him with such an ominous sense of dread. He really, really hates that flower.

For a time, days of sleeping close to or sometimes more than 20 hours become days of no sleep at all. Brother comes back, and that grounds him a bit and he hates it so much. Cale hates relying on this person so much but he does.

Brother is busy, so he leaves almost immediately again, but that night, Cale manages to sleep. When he sleeps, he doesn't try and barge his way into Roksu's soul as usual. Instead, he merely lingers at the door, and begs to be let in.

Roksu finally complies. When Cale opens his eyes, he sees the city he practically grew up in in ruins.

Roksu explains in his usual curt, matter-of-fact way that, 6 months ago, the apocalypse started. Monsters appeared, along with ability users that fight against them. Everyone is struggling to survive.

For a few moments, Cale looks at the collapsed high-rises and blown out windows with a blank stare.

Then, he laughs. No, he cackles.

"They knocked all the walls down!" He declares to no one in particular.

The others who had been sent out to gather supplies with him look at him and mutter "Did he finally snap...?"

The general consensus is "yeah but that's none of our business. who isn't holding on by a thread out here?"

Cale doesn't care what they think. Partly because their opinions mean nothing in the face of being free to act as he pleases, and partly because has more pressing issues right now.

In that moment, Cale manifested an Ability. At the same time, he stopped hearing Roksu's voice.

(I like to think that Cale's spent so long in that world that the moment he arrived and encountered a moment of emotional catharsis the world was like "yep, that soul checks out" and gave him an Ability, which fucked up the connection, and to prevent KRS from like, dissolving into the aether, KRS got sent back to Cale's body. Even gods can make mistakes and all that. GoD done fucked up by not including 'Cale independently manifests his own Ability, like, immediately' into the calculations)

(He'd have to be a multi-ability user, like og!Roksu. The question is what would he get? Something like Record and Instant? Or maybe something else to do with escaping, or sleep? Dreams? Visions? Enclosed spaces? Would he get two at once, or just the one?)

(OH Y'KNOW WHAT?? What if this Earth didn't get hit by just a survival apocalypse, but rather, a magic-tower-climbing scenario? (is there a more elegant name for this archetype? There's gotta be, right?) Where the major shelters double as Challenge Towers that strong ability users challenge occasionally once things calm down a bit. Cale is one of the few, if not outright the only one to be invited to Challenge the Towers, only to willingly turn his back on them (and flip them off for good measure). He just KNOWS there's some bullshit on top. He'd rather try his luck with the monsters outside, please and thank you. And if that makes some people think he's some kind of altruistic saint? Sure, why not. He can weaponize that reputation! No matter what, it won't stop him from doing what he wants. That's what he promised Roksu, after all. Do act as he pleased.)

(Also the part where he actually prefers Park Jin Tae's blunt violence and transparent pettiness to Bother's emotional manipulations is just ough...you're so right. The other folks at the shelter are just like "you're just gonna forgive him? That easily?" and he's like "*shrug* it could've been worse")

Anyway i've spent wayyy too long rambling about this uhhh goodnight for now!

Rapunzel AU!

Cale has been inside of the tower for his entire life. His hair is long, much longer than his brother's. His brother doesn't have a name. Cale knows they're brothers though- because they both have red hair, even if Brother has short hair and Cale does not.

Ever since Cale was 12, he'd been dreaming of a different world. He went to sleep and woke up as someone named Kim Roksu. This Kim Roksu was not in a similar situation as he was- Kim Roksu wandered the streets and ate food from the floor and hid in the small cabinet in his uncle's house. Kim Roksu was weak and strong.

Kim Roksu is a friend to Cale. When Cale wants to see the outside, he sleeps, and he dreams.

Kim Roksu figured out how to communicate with Cale after several years of simple body swapping.

Somehow, they are similar! They both agree that being trash is the best. Kim Roksu because it's easier being a bad person than a good person, and Cale because Brother won't let him be trashy and he wishes he could throw a fit without Brother punishing him.

"Your brother keeps you in a tower?" Roksu asks when he learns.

"Yeah. Is that weird?"

"Well, I don't know anyone who stays in a tower." Cale kicks a rock on the sidewalk with his barefoot, sending it skidding across the dirt road. "Ow, my toe." Roksu complains blandly.

Sharing a body, they also share the same sensations.

"You barely felt that and you know it."

"Shut up."

"You shut up." Cale retorts. He wants to say more, but he swallows those words and tucks them into his chest.

'The bruise over your eye hurts more but you don't complain about that.'

He bites his lip and looks down.

"Do you think," he asks quietly, "if I asked Brother to let me out, he would?"

Roksu, disembodied and floating over his body, frowns. "You haven't asked before?"

Cale smiles bitterly in Roksu's body. "... I did, once." After, Brother said he was going to be leaving for two weeks, and told Cale to ration his food well. Cale knew better than to think it was a coincidence. He didn't have Roksu yet. It was very lonely for a long time.

Roksu doesn't say anything.

"If," his voice trembles, "If I got out. If I left..."

"Cale." Roksu stops him. Cale winces, expecting to be reprimanded.

"You are trash. Trash does whatever they want, no matter what anyone says. If you want to leave, then leave." Roksu's translucent body floats over to stand in front of Cale. Sternly, he says, "Don't worry about useless things. Worry about making a plan and executing it."

Then, abruptly, Roksu turns and ignores him. Cale laughs and folds in half, a childish grin splitting his malnourished cheeks. How can someone be so blunt but so shy? Kim Roksu frowns, but it looks like a pout. Cale rubs away a tear and looks up at the back of his friend. No, the person who sometimes feels more like a brother to him than his real brother.

"And will you help me?"

Roksu rolls his eyes. "Don't ask something so obvious."

Cale smiles and looks down. "Right. Obvious, isn't it?"

Something like receiving help wasn't obvious to either of them. Yet, when it came to the two of them together, it was the most obvious thing in the world. It wasn't obvious with Brother, who he shared blood with. But Kim Roksu, who was abused and beaten down at every turn, chose to welcome a wandering soul into his body and share everything with him.

'You're the one who shouldn't want to be here,' Kim Roksu said when they first started talking and Cale asked why he didn't try to force Cale out. 'When you're in control, I can relax. Why would I want you to leave? That's so difficult.'

They learned that Kim Roksu really could force Cale out when his uncle kicked Cale, sending Kim Roksu's body sprawling onto the floor, then stomped on his arm so hard they heard a clear snap. For Cale it only hurt for a short moment. Roksu threw him out so fast you could imagine that he had practiced beforehand.

Every day and night, Cale slept to try and enter Roksu's body, check on him, share the pain, but Roksu kicked him out every time. It wasn't until four weeks later that Roksu let Cale back in.

Even that much pain was a lot for being four weeks after the incident, but while Cale was struggling to keep his cool, Roksu floated around him and spoke as if nothing was wrong. When Cale started sweating a few hours later Roksu kicked him out again.

'Don't be stubborn,' he said when Cale returned the next night. 'Just say that it hurts. If you still want to stay after you admit that it hurts then I won't kick you out.'

It was a very Kim Roksu thing to do.

"Brother," Cale asks one day at 15, impatiently brushing his hair. He gets scolded lightly, and Brother takes the brush from him. "I read in a book about something called a phone. Do you have one?"

Brother gives him a blank look. Then, as if it had been a lie, his expression changes into something kind and gentle. "Fone? Can you show me the book?"

Cale and Brother roughly root around in every book for anything like the so-called 'Fone,' coming up short.

"Maybe it was a dream," Cale excuses it like that, rubbing his neck. Brother looks at him, worried.

"It must have been. Get some rest, Cale." A kiss to the top of Cale's head, Brother hugs him and promises to bring him more paint. "I'll be gone for a few days this time. Do you want something?"

"Ah," Cale smiles, pressing his face into his Brothers neck to hide his face. "Could you bring me -------?" Brother freezes.

"... you-"

"I learned it from the books! This time I really did, Brother. Please?"

Slowly, Brother releases the tension in his body. "... If that's what you want. But you have to close the window if you're going to mess around with alcohol."

"Yes!" Cale jumps with joy. Then he suddenly runs to a bookshelf, changing the topic by talking about a book Brother brought to him last time. "-and I'd like to know if the sequel is out yet."

"I'll do that." Brother smiles. "You've been asking for more things recently, Cale." Brother settles a hand on his head, stroking his hair.

"It's because of my reliable older brother!" He grabs onto that hand, keeping it there, resembling a naive little brother who only has his role model in his eyes.

He sends his brother down the tower using his hair, and watches that spot of red disappear in the distance.

His face drops.

"... Bastard."

Cale turns on his foot. It's time to see Roksu.

[carnalapples]

Starting one of these because they're adorable!

[clfixationstation]

idk if this is a hot take but I don't think Armin is friendly. I think people find him generally off-putting. Like, people think he looks sweet, but also find him strange; for the topics that interest him, the way he didn't stray far from Eren (& Mikasa) socially, and his general demeanor.

I think that as Armin established himself more as he grew up, he developed better interpersonal skills that compliment his rhetorical prowess. I think he's the type of person who sees value in life and in minimizing harm. He offers kindness to his friends and understanding to all. But I don't see him as particularly "friendly"

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[icecoldbeauty]

Ah... makes me remember waaay back before I even finished the gym challenge. Used to think I'd never amount to anything- how could I have? I lived on the smallest of all the Sevii islands- never been more than 20 residents there!, I was frail, lonely standoffish, never really achieved anything before, and had nothing special about me. But I could battle, and I liked to battle. Still remember the day I sat up and said to myself, you know what? I'm done sitting and waiting for purpose to come to me, I'm going to go to it! - and set off for mainland Kanto... I'm still so glad I did. I myself never had any rivals myself- or well, I don't think I did! I'd certainly improved by then but I was... still rather socially inept to put it lightly when I set off... I'd not be surprised if I accidentally made some of my peers think I wanted that with them and I never even noticed! I imagine having a proper rival'd be quite fun, though! I really would have done so many things to be able to comfortably been out in my youth like that. But you know what? I'm proud and damn happy that so many more people today can be, even if I couldn't. Less people will have to feel the way I did about it, which was awful and not something I'd wish on anyone. I'm happy for Sonia and Nessa- and I don't oft use this kind of language, but the tabloids can fuck right off with this erasure shit- and I'm happy for you too, and I hope that everyone that wants people like you and me silenced and stifled in any way lives the rest of their life even more miserable than they want us to feel. Assholes need a taste of their own medicine more often. (Also, people seriously read their own wikipedia articles? I've never looked at mine once!) I'd say that's still considerable progress from how it was in my heyday, but there really is still so incredibly much left to make. Really, I'd be happy if I can see even just a little more substantial amounts get made before my times up- I want to be able to leave the world knowing it was better than when I started. I don't get to have long and thoughtful conversations too much anymore, really I'm honored you're finding some joy in talking this much with me of all people! Still a little strange to hear people like talking to me really, but makes me happy nonetheless. But I really don't know if I could do that anymore... Arc, I still feel so awful that I didn't tell her when I first had the chance- and every time I receive a letter back from her, I read it thinking about how much I wish I had... Sometimes I wonder if I still could, but then I ask myself, 'is it really worth it after all this time, especially in your age and condition?', and I just... can't do it. I mean, like I said, my time is even more limited than the average person- frail and easily prone to sickness I am, and once I get a few more years up there, well, I don't know how well I'll be able to fight off illnesses by then. She's healthier than me, she'll almost definitely have longer to live. I don't wanna drag her down in that way. I don't want to leave her alone in that way, she doesn't deserve to have that happen to her really. I don't know anymore though... I've been thinking about her more than usual lately. If there's any chance it could still be worth it... Oh my Arc- apologies, this is hitting me a tad harder than I'd expected... agh, being emotional and sentimental sucks sometimes...! Ah... Well, the idea of having endorsements for the league is pretty interesting. I presume it's difficult to get one? Wonder how I'd have faired with something like that in place back when I set off, like I've said I wasn't precisely the most pleasant at that age! Don't know if anyone'd have wanted to give me one, haha! And I'll admit, some of the crazy league stories I've both experienced in my own and heard from others are incredibly amusing. I still remember when I heard about one of the champions battle in Unova being stopped by... I think they said it was a an entire castle busting the place down of all the things, nothing will beat that in sheer hilarity.

Oh yeah wait you're too old to know what inkay games is my bad

Oh, please, I’m only twenty-three.

[ he’s not old. don’t make that mistake again. ]

—💎

[uchiha-gaeshi]

Fuck fuck fuck low self-esteem has ruined my life.

[danieyells]

I cannot stress enough that if you do not make and support the stories and headcanons and fics and interpretations you want to see in the world no amount of complaining that people make things you don't like will help you feel better in the long run

Also consider that just because you don't like more than one interpretation of a thing doesn't mean other people who like a different interpretation don't like others too

[sysig]

Horse girl arc (Patreon)

[musical-chick-13]

Who do I feel as though genderbent mello would get girboss treatment

See, I go back and forth on this, because my instinctive reaction is that you are absolutely right. There's the whole implied Catholicism thing (people love to use that as an aesthetic, which, fair, I used to be Catholic we have some banger art and designs), there's the leather and Fashion Choices™, there's the "is a criminal who kills people but isn't The Worst One Here" and there's the "main target of their ire is an unpopular character" all of which are prime traits for fandom girlboss-ification.

The conflict I find myself having, though, is that this character is. Angry. That's kind of his Thing™. And if he were a woman........people really don't like angry women. Especially if they act out about it. If they're lucky, all that happens is they get called "crazy" or "hysterical." But most of the time they get called [insert gendered insult or death threat here]. (Remember when I got harassed multiple times irl for simply dressing up as a fictional character at a con, good times.) A female version of this character would have "conventionally attractive thin young person" to her advantage, and people are kinder to female characters if they fit into that category than if they don't. And, again, a major source of this character's anger involves their misplaced disdain for a character the fandom at large (sadly, incorrectly) does not have a ton of love for. And those things might be enough to override the general fandom distaste for destructive anger in female characters.

I'm going to go into this further in my "almost-genderbent DN" post (which is. it's coming. I just. chronic illness. words.), but I guess it would depend on how unhinged (and, specifically in what ways she is unhinged) the story makes this genderbent version of her. Some types of "unhinged" are seen as delightful or even narratively palatable, and some aren't. Because there is a general-fandom threshold between, "The crimes make her cool™" and "The crimes make her the devil incarnate" and I'm trying to fully parse out where exactly that threshold is. And once I have a more concrete idea of it, all of you will be the first to know. :)

(Another factor in whether or not she gets Girlbossed™ is probably to what extent (if any) genderbending her changes her relationship with Matt. Because they're a pretty popular ship, and if a character choice makes a ship more or less appealing in the eyes of the fandom...historically, that's going to change the general perception of that character.)

[cipheramnesia]

I would like to read it.

All I'm saying is Ridley Scott went out and hired the giant mutant genitals artist to design the Alien, and H.R. Giger delivered a monster with a giant penis head, a vulva-outline space ship, a birthing egg with an opening made of two crossed vaginas, a facefucking vagina monster fertilizer and a lil baby dick form that kills the host - the man 100% delivered on his artistic principles.

And because of this, it is just a little bit funny how the penis and vagina designs are enshrined in pop culture, forever being passed between creators who seem to less and less think for a minute that they're working with genital monsters and it turns most of the movie franchise and comics into an exercise in unintentional absurdity where a character can be fleeing from a rolling vulva like the boulder from Indiana Jones without a single shred of awareness or subtext.

[sn0wcake]

Comphet ace gay tavros u will always b canon to me <3