#but he is genuinely implied to be ace otherwise

[sn0wcake]

Comphet ace gay tavros u will always b canon to me <3

[bugs1nmybrain]

Well now I think you should totally give us a version of Somnophilia where L gets woken up to female reader giving him a blowjob which leads to drowsy early morning sex.

Only if you want to though ^^

Sleeping Beauty pt. 2 - L Lawliet x Fem!Reader: Morning Sex

Author's Notes: This has been in my asks for MONTHS. I think it is time :0. I'm very sorry that I haven't been writing as many fics lately, I have been very very busy. I hate it ;(

MINORS DON'T INTERACT

Warnings: fem-reader, somnophilia/morning sex, smut (18+), oral sex (male receiving), unprotected sex, a cheesy joke at one point that ruins the mood, cowgirl position, reader doesn't cum but implied to after the story, not proofread

Notes about the reader: female reader, described as having small hands

Extra note: I realize I lied and originally said there were no pronouns used and totally forgot that he uses a gendered term at the end. I'm so sorry!!!!

The heat of the rising sun cracked on L's face, contrasting with the cool breeze of the room's AC. L was known for his insomniac drive, but even he was human. After many days of not sleeping, he'd start to see shadowy figures out of the corner of his eye and occasionally the sound of the bell would pay a visit. That's when he knew he had to sleep. He usually would doze off and like the snap of a finger wake up again, only it would somehow be over half a day later.

The heat of the sun on his face was comforting, considering every other part of his body, especially his feet, was so chilly that he felt like rotting in this bed. The bed that you insisted he sleeps in, otherwise he would've been out in his desk chair and it would likely fall over at some point.

The sleep-drunk and chilly state he was in was so heavy that he had hardly noticed that another part of his body was feeling warm. And wet. He recognized the feeling well, and the mouth that was attached. He peeked down to see just as he suspected.

L never grew tired of seeing you. Through all the hyperboles he told you about how stunning you were, somewhere in there was a genuineness that he struggled to accept. Not because he didn't care for you, but because he did so much. So much that he was afraid something abrupt would eventually happen and he'd lose you, and lose this connection that he secretly craved.

Though, those deep-seated worries could surely wait. He looked down through lidded eyes, watching as you had your small hand wrapped around the base of his cock and trying your best to accommodate his cock in your mouth. Your eyes were also lidded with your eyelashes looking beautiful as you traveled your soft lips against his length. He could tell that you hadn't even noticed that he was awake.

As you trailed your tongue up his cock with your eyes still closed, he sighed and let his head fall back onto the pillow. You continued your movements up and down his cock, pulling back his foreskin to get to the sensitive skin under.

"A-ah!" L shuddered quietly. His sudden noise startled you and your mouth moved off of him with a quick "pop". He grunted at the absence of your mouth and looked down at you. The sight of your flushed, wet lips and alertness struck a chord in him, making his cock throb under your hand.

"Is this your way of getting me back?" he chuckled, reaching his hand down to pet your hair.

You grinned shyly with your answer, "An eye for an eye."

Without giving him many options to respond, you continued bobbing your head on his cock. You used your tongue to slide along his base as you guided yourself. L's leg jolted slightly at the sensitivity, and he continued to sigh in pleasure while gently holding onto your scalp.

"Fuck, y/n.." he whispered under his breath.

"Mhm~"

You were certainly eager, though you felt your throat struggle as you attempted to take all of his cock down. You tried to be pornographic, but your gag reflex soon kept you humble and you choked unexpectedly.

You moved away from his cock and coughed, holding the back of your hand to your mouth to conceal yourself. L felt himself grow even more aroused at your attempts to please him beyond your comfort, and the tears that wallowed from it. Though, he was not going to tell you that.

"Hey, how about you come up here, hm?" L rubbed your head, looking at you now with his 69% awake face. You nodded and crawled up to rest beside him.

"I wanted to finish that," you say, disappointed in yourself.

"That's alright. Practice makes progress. I don't want you to hurt yourself," L reassured you, placing his hand at your waist to pull you closer. He kissed your cheek, which was hot to the touch. "Let's try something different."

He pulled at your t-shirt, exposing your bare breasts to him and shortly after, your panties as well.

"Can I ride you?" you ask.

"Hm?" L questions, still tired. "Oh. Yes, of course. Do as you wish, darling."

You beamed him a smile and steadily rested yourself on top of him. You worried if you were heavy, considering he was noticeably frail and light. L seemed to be able to tell what you were thinking as you looked puzzled on top of him.

"You're alright. Keep going."

Taking his cock in your hand, you adjusted yourself upwards and slowly began sinking down on him.

"Mmm.." L tilted his head back, absolutely enthralled by the view.

You moaned as well, moving yourself to grind on top of his cock, feeling up your sensitive cunt. L's hands rubbed up from your thighs to your hips, relishing in your wet pussy and the way your body moved on top of him. Your body was enough on its own to make him pre, but the lust on your face, lust that he knew was for him, made him feel better.

The sounds filling the room were overwhelming. You could both feel yearning waves of pleasure riding through your bodies, engrossed by each other's sex. Your body's rhythm bouncing on top of him made you feel incredible, with L's face flushed pink and a bit of sweat covering his forehead.

"Mmfh..y/n, I'm close," he groaned, gripping onto your waist. He pulled you down onto him each time you lifted up, trying to feel your sleeve as much as he could.

"You can. Please cum for me.."

More moans and whines exited your throat as the sensation of his cock, hands, and sounds drove your libido rampant. And L could say the same for you.

"Mmmm~!" you squealed out in pleasure. L lost composure and you could feel his hips thrust up into you as he shook.

"Awh.." His hands gripped your sides as he came deep and heavy in you, his body falling limp otherwise as he remained inside of you as you both tried to recover.

"You're incredible," he hummed with a gentle smile. You giggled and lifted up, falling down beside him. You snuggled your arms around him and gripped onto his shirt (he kept it on, he does a lot during sex).

"No you," you retaliate.

"Mhm, if you say so," he looked over at you holding him close and placed a kiss to your temple. "You didn't cum."

"Oh."

"Let me fix that," he rubbed your shoulder as he said so.

"You don't have to," you say and his fingers already begin trailing in between your legs.

"Please, indulge me. Besides, as you said, "an eye for an eye." What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't?"

"A normal boyfriend," you joked.

"Well, I've never been known to be normal. Neither have you. Be a good girl and let me play with you, alright?

Here's a song that's appropriate for this fic lol

[hinalatte]

(Not so)Quick thoughts on Episode 13

I have a lot of things to say about the new episode (about Levi especially) and a little Hu analysis I can write now that her secret is confirmed, but it’s very late! But I still want to talk about things! So here’s a random collection of stuff I thought was interesting.

Spoilers under the cut!

Eden was the one who took out Xander’s eye with a fork. It’s interesting that she’s the weakest member of the cast, but somehow managed to injure Xander, the strongest by far. He must’ve been really caught off guard.

It’s also interesting that the weapon is a fork. It must’ve been a spur of the moment decision, otherwise she would’ve had a better weapon. Her distraught expression also implies she wasn’t planning on hurting Xander.

In the opening scene of the show, someone (likely Xander) says he has to kill Teruko. He says he “didn’t expect her to attack him like that”, which we now know is referring to Eden. But he also says he made a mistake to trust “them”. So Eden was working with someone else. She might’ve betrayed Xander on Teruko’s behalf.

Also, this scene emphasizes that Xander’s goal was to end the killing game! A goal which he never saw through, but David is trying to carry that torch for him.

This one isn’t related to the new episode, but I found this and it made me feel things. Eden says almost the same thing to Teruko in chapter 1 that Arei says to Eden in chapter 2.

I’ve been trying since last week to figure out what David knew about Xander. Their interactions in chapter 1 provide no clues, as far as I can tell…David doesn’t act like he recognizes Xander at all, except in their “role models” scene where he has this line. They did investigate together at the start, so maybe something happened then? Or maybe David was just determined to not let Xander know he recognized him. Or maybe David didn’t care much about Xander Matthews as a public figure before he got to know Xander as a person, and only started considering Xander’s career important after the fact. Or maybe he genuinely didn’t recognize him because he didn’t mention his last name? But in the MV, he remembers what Xander looks like without his eye patch, so wouldn’t that mean David knew what he looked like?

When Teruko claims to have the family secret, he makes a face like “I caught you”. Why did he react like that if he already knew what her secret was…? Does David know from his prior knowledge of Xander that the family secret is his?

It’s possible Teruko genuinely believes the family secret is hers, since she blames her own bad luck for the things that happen to people around her.

Eden can’t fathom the idea of not caring about people. She’s so empathetic it almost seems like a weakness, so she doesn’t understand how someone could lack empathy completely. I love that dynamic…I hope they both live so I can see more of it.

Arturo has a strong reaction to this because he still remembers Felicity.

Also, Arturo being a voice of morality this episode was something I did not expect, but I’m here for it.

Ace is absolutely lying. He’s the most gullible person in the cast. He definitely thought Levi was being genuine.

He pushed Levi away over and over in chapter 2, but Levi kept bouncing back from it, insisting he wouldn’t hurt him. That probably made Ace feel comforted, in a way. Like there was one person who wouldn’t abandon him, even after enduring all of his awful behavior.

It’s interesting that he brings up the term “friends” here. Since when were they friends? Genuinely. A guy expressing concern for you does not a friendship make, Ace Markey.

He’s also taking Levi very out of context. Levi says he doesn’t care about anyone at all, because he’s literally incapable of it. Ace takes that as a personal attack. Levi doesn’t care about him, specifically, and that’s a betrayal somehow. Levi never meant to mislead him about that, but Ace thinks he was lying to him. (It’s made worse for him because now he knows no one in the cast likes him)

Ace projects a lot of things onto people in general. Mostly negative intent. But in this case, he might’ve been projecting the idea of a friendship that wasn’t really there. It makes sense to a degree. I was also fooled into thinking Levi cared about Ace, but not because they were friends. It was because Levi like helping everyone, including Ace. Ace seems incapable of understanding that sometimes people do stuff and it doesn’t really mean anything.

I say all that as an Ace Markey fan. He’s my favorite character. This critique is from a place of love. Boy, is there a lot to critique about him.

I’m interested now in seeing how his relationships develop after this. His most important dynamics (Levi and Nico) either don’t care about him at all or hate him so much they tried to kill him (unless there’s a plot twist on that front). Is he ever going to have a friend? Or a confidant of any kind? Not if he keeps acting like that, but it’s kind of a vicious cycle.

Also did his friend die? Why does he say “his memory”? Okay Ace. Is this why his sexuality was confirmed?

Last observation for the road. Whit called David “Starboy” in chapter 1, and now “Sir Light Pollution” in chapter 2, continuing the trend of star-themed David nicknames. It makes sense in his head. (Why does he know so much about hanging)

[dystychiphxbia]

☆ - on a different league | narumiya mei

this could've been a longer story but the daiya fandom is not at its peak anymore so i decided to sum it up into this one shot but it just doesn't have the right vibe </3 i did finish it though so im posting it, not proofread she/her pronouns for reader wc: 1.7k

You met Narumiya Mei in your first year of high school.

You went to Inashiro for their track team. During middle school, you harbored some honorable records and thus managed to score a scholarship - your parents would've never afforded to send you to a private school otherwise.

You were excited for your new school life - focusing on your club activities and training hard, getting new friends...You never thought that Narumiya Mei would become part of your life.

He was your classmate. He had charm, you had to admit, and soon enough your whole class seemed to be infatuated with him. But you could see past that.

"And then I got the guy with my ultra super awesome changeup-"

"Changeup? What was that, again?" A smug grin appeared on your face as you watched Narumiya's smile drop. You were now in your second year, and he had gotten into the habit of bragging to you whenever he did something "cool".

"I've told you tons of times, (L/n)!! Are you stupid or something?!" "You've seen my grades, Narumiya. I think that answers your question." You watched the blond grit his teeth.

Narumiya was someone who did not need to worry about his grades - his future lay in baseball. Yet ever since your first year, he wanted to compete with you in every single subject. He just never failed to get the hint - that academically speaking - you would always be superior.

"She's so infuriating, Masa-san!!" Was Narumiya's most common phrase when he arrived to practice. And everyone knew that they were in for a long rant about Narumiya's so-called 'enemy'. They had started placing bets on when their ace would realize that he was most likely head over heels for you.

If one of them even hinted at something like that, Narumiya's face would twist and turn into a look of grimace, and he pretended like he was about to throw up.

But the thing is, even he was not so sure why he was so keen on speaking with you. Everyone else always enjoyed talking with him, he just had tons of charisma, you know? But, you. You. You never smiled, genuinely, only grinned smugly whenever you somehow gained the upper hand. You didn't know the rules of baseball despite attending a school that regularly went to Koshien - and the rules wouldn't stick in your head no matter how many times he explained them to you.

And you. You always focused in class, wrote your notes diligently, raised your hand way too often. You would only ever look at him to glare if he was whispering too hard with some other (female) classmate. "Jealous?" His smug grin would ask you - and you would raise your hand, outing him to the teacher for disturbing class.

You never came to any of the baseball team's games. He always asked you, even invited you, but you always said that you weren't interested. Sure, Narumiya knew that you had your own club, in fact, he heard that you were one of the track team's most promising members. But everyone else found time to come to the games, at minimum the finals, why didn't you?

Seriously, who came to Inashiro and then claimed to not be interested in baseball?

He would occasionally see you running around the campus. The track field was high quality and had plenty of space, yet you would always warm up by running around the school grounds. Why, he did not know.

He did once ask you, but you just shrugged. "I enjoy watching the other clubs being hard at work." "Even the baseball team?" "No, not the baseball team."

You were strange.

Maybe that's why he always seemed to spot you in crowds. You were different - and not entirely in a bad way.

''(L/n), do you have any friends?''

Your brows furrowed - you did not like what he was implying. ''What kind of question is that, Narumiya? I have plenty of friends.'' ''Is that why you are always sitting alone and reading a book?'' Your eyes darted up from your book. Narumiya was sitting on the chair in front of your desk, facing you, and resting his head on your desk.

''Are you trying to imply that I'm a loner?'' ''Well, you are always alone, aren't you?'' ''No, Narumiya. I'm always with you.''

That afternoon, Inashiro's ace pitcher couldn't focus in practice. He was always surrounded by people, whether or not you were there. He hadn't even realized that he did spend a lot of time with you.

''Masa-san, I think she's a witch.'' He had announced in the bullpen. ''Hah? That's a new one.'' His catcher had answered, kind of curious to see what Narumiya had on his mind this time. ''Yes, she's a witch. And she's put a spell on me.''

The school year seemed to fly by. The baseball team went to Koshien in the summer, got defeated, and tried again in the fall. Yet they had lost in a game that was supposed to be a guaranteed win. And yet again, you were not there to watch. Narumiya tried to spot you in the bleachers, even though he knew that you wouldn't be there.

''You aren't bragging about your latest game.'' You pointed out, closing the lid of you lunchbox. ''We lost, (L/n). There's nothing to brag about.'' The blond whined, glaring at you for reminding him. ''Really? You didn't do even one good play?''

Narumiya thought back to the moment he had disagreed with his catcher - his first mistake. It all just went downhill from there. ''No, this time there really isn't anything to brag about.''

''Ah, is that so? So are you still crying yourself to sleep every night, then?'' Narumiya narrowed his eyes at your words. ''No! I've gotten over it already!''

He had never realized, but you actually knew quite a lot about him. ''I think she's a mind reader, Itsuki!'' ''Mei-san...you've been classmates with her for two years...'' ''She can read minds, I'm telling you!!''

Whatever helps him sleep at night.

You were now both third years. You found it hard to describe your relationship with Narumiya. On the outside it really did seem like you were friends. Because you did often eat lunch together, he would tell you about his baseball team and you would always find something to make a witty remark about.

But you did not have his phone number, you did not talk about what either of you did during the weekend, you never laughed at his jokes.

You weren't sure how to feel about him.

You never decided to be friends. And thus, you think that you aren't. Because Narumiya was out of reach for you, so far away.

Yet you found yourself reaching for him. Hanging onto the little thread he was handing to you, which he would eventually just cut down. Because you just weren't meant for each other.

''She was quiet today.'' Narumiya's expression was difficult to read, but he seemed distressed, at least in Itsuki's mind. You held such power over him, Itsuki was worried that they would one day lose a whole game because of you.

''Who was quiet?''

Narumiya was about to throw another pitch, but instead dropped the ball on the ground. He looked at you, his mouth wide open. ''(L-L-L/n)?!'' His hand trembled as he pointed at you.

''Yes, it's me. You look like you've seen a ghost, Narumiya.'' You were clearly fighting back a laugh. This was the first time Itsuki had ever seen you - and you did not match Narumiya's stories at all. You were beautiful.

Suddenly Itsuki understood why Narumiya paid so much attention to you.

''W-w-what are you doing here?!'' You had never shown any interest in baseball, yet here you are, standing on the field. You are wearing your track uniform - seems like you were in the middle of warming up.

''Oh, me?'' You pointed at yourself, acting like you were confused. ''Yes, you! Don't play dumb!'' At this point, Narumiya had stomped over to you - his pitching practice long forgotten.

''Oh, I'm here to see my little brother.''

''Huh?''

''You know. My little brother. The one who joined the team this year.''

''WHAT?''

Itsuki connected the dots. But for Narumiya, it seemed impossible. ''Who's your little brother?!'' ''...(L/n)? Do you not know your first years by name?'' ''No, I do not! Point them out for me!'' He grabbed your shoulders, turning you towards where all the first years were currently running.

You squinted your eyes trying to spot your younger brother in the crowd. When you finally did so, you raised your hand to point in that direction, and Narumiya desperately tried to follow your line of sight. ''Him, over there. The one with (hc) hair.'' ''That's one of our most promising rookies???!!!!!!''

He turned you around, shaking you around lightly. ''You claimed to know nothing about baseball! And now you are telling me that a super rookie is your little brother?!'' ''Did I claim that? Oops, I lied.'' You stuck your tongue out at him.

Narumiya's hands left your shoulders - slumping down. ''I can't believe you have lied to me all these years...''

You laughed. Oh, you laughed for a long time.

You had started the game of acting dumb because you enjoyed the reactions Narumiya gave you. And, because you wanted to kick him off his high horse - to you, it seemed like you were successful.

''I'm so hurt, (Y/n)!! How could you!'' Your laughter stopped. Did he not even notice that he called you by your first name? It was a stage you thought you could never reach.

''Mei-san, the coach will get angry at you if you don't get back to practice...'' The younger catcher tried to grab the ace's attention - who just continued sulking. Itsuki gave you an apologetic smile, but you just shook your head. You were used to Narumiya being like this.

Your little brother had noticed you and came to talk to you, but instead he was startled by their team's ace pitcher. ''You-! Why didn't you tell me that you were related to (Y/n)?!'' Narumiya had pointed at him, accusing him of withholding information. In truth, your little brother did not even know that you were ''friends'' with Narumiya Mei.

Sighing, you had flicked Narumiya's forehead. ''Don't drag my dear little brother into this. I was the one playing with you this whole time.'' Narumiya held his forehead, refusing to admit that it actually hurt, though his expression said otherwise.

''Then...as an apology, will you come to our next game?''

''I'd be happy to, Mei.''

[lacrimosathedark]

Hellaverse Aces Headcanons

We have THREE whole confirmed asexuals in the Hellaverse and one more kind of implied, so as an ace-spec person myself, I thought it'd be fun to do headcanons on where they stand.

Mammon

100% asexual, sex averse but not repulsed. Or rather, he isn't super bothered being exposed to it (especially if it's making him money) but he DOES NOT want to be involved. Like, he has those two Fizzie Bots to give off the appearance that he has bitches, but he has no bitches and I don't think he wants them.

Probably aromantic. He doesn't seem to understand love and certainly doesn't care for it. His first love is money and nothing will come between him and that bag. Also, man dresses like an aro flag on the daily.

The other three are much longer so under the cut we go!

Octavia Goetia

Mildly sex-repulsed asexual. She might be demi, but it's hard to say without her having many peers in the show thus far. But on the whole, she gives off totally ace vibes. I don't think she was just embarrassed by her dad's public flirting, but genuinely uncomfy with the subject matter. Blitzø's openness on the subject might be part of why she dislikes him so much.

It's hard to stay with her limited screen time, but I also think she's greyromantic. She doesn't seem to understand love. That is probably partly from how she was raised; her parents are far from a good model for a loving relationship. But she also just has disinterested vibes to me. It feels like she doesn't even really think about it.

She's made a connection with Loona, and it feels so solidly sisterly. I mean, it would be a little bit weird if it skewed romantic with the potential for being future step-siblings, but weirder things happen in HB. Via just seems to have a quick solid sisterly bond with her and it's adorable.

She puts a lot of value in platonic relationships. She is so deeply heartbroken by her parents divorce even if they hate each other because they're both good to her (or at least I presume Stella is usually good to Via or else she'd probably be less upset or upset about different things in the divorce). Her biggest fear is that Stolas will leave her behind.

We know Stolas loves her more than anything (heehee) and is just a bit too self-centered and wrapped in his own head to be as attentive to her as they'd like. And as upset as she gets with him, Via always forgives Stolas for being stupid. He means the world to her and vice versa.

If she were to ever get married, it would literally be her best friend and she would say that no one should expect an heir from her. I feel like she would be happiest with a queerplatonic partner who would cuddle her and maybe kiss her cheek and forehead, but nothing "more" than that so to speak.

Alastor

Honestly will admit that my perspective here may be tainted by my adoration of Radioapple.

Demi or greysexual, but basically 99% asexual. By which I mean it's more literally a one in a million chance that he'd find any interest in someone. His attraction is very particular. Like, never being attracted to anyone until meeting The One. (For clarity, I don't believe in fate and finding someone he's miraculously attracted to doesn't "fix" him so let's shut that shit down. You can be attracted to literally one person and if you feel no attraction for anyone else, that's still ace. It doesn't disqualify you from asexuality.)

Sex averse in general, and generally repulsed at the idea of self-involvement. Outside of That One Person, sex disgusts him, and even then it's still hit or miss whether he's into it or not. He's alright enough with it that he can casually walk the streets of Pentagram City unbothered, but he otherwise wouldn't willingly expose himself to it ex. being very notably absent on Show and Tell day.

It involves far too much physical contact for his liking, and being friends with someone like Mimzy in life, he likely has seen much of the darker side of it. I wouldn't be surprised if so-called predators were his prey in life.

Some people think of him as repulsed by the body fluid stuff (I certainly am) but I don't think that's a factor for him. Man eats demons whole. He gets everything that is inside them. Including their digestive systems. I don't think other body fluids are gonna be an issue lol

He knows sexual attraction could be used to manipulate someone, but he is disgusted by the concept, maybe because he saw that happen too much when he was alive, or he considers it pathetic, debasing yourself for someone else. Man also covers up from the neck down, he could have an issue being bare around someone else.

Homo-greyromantic. I can't imagine this man romantically attracted to a woman, if only because I feel like if he were, he would be married to Rosie by now because they seem like a perfect fit. If they were alive, they would be the type to be married for tax benefits (or the benefit of not having to testify against each other in court HA).

LOOK AT THEM. He's so comfy and genuinely happy with her it's so cute! He do a little squeak aaaaaa If Alastor understood the concept of asexuality he and Rosie would be qpps and you can never convince me otherwise. It is a hill I would die on.

And him only being attracted to men would make a lot of sense why he'd never found someone, because he has a general disdain for men that is actually pretty common in people attracted to men, women especially. Men are trash is his baseline, why would he give them a chance, especially in Hell where they're almost guaranteed to be awful? No thanks. Not worth it. He has better things to do. Like murder!

Plus, he's so fucking fruity sometimes lol

I mean, come on.

(also, sidenote, bitch GET YOUR SHOES OFF THE BED)

It also would make Radiostatic/silence more tragic imo. Like, maybe Alastor felt some kind of romantic about him, but Vox wanted something sexual too and Alastor just wasn't interested. Vox is a pretty sexual guy. If "dating" a pimp running a porn studio isn't enough, this is.

I'm so Velvette in this scene lol stfu Vox calm down

But if Vox wanted sex and Alastor flat-out rejected it, Vox might not have understood the complexities of Alastor's attraction and assumed he was lacking something, that Alastor didn't actually like him, and took it personally and lashed out.

We know Vox is obsessed with Alastor, and there's certainly mutual disdain, but isn't it more tragic if Alastor felt betrayed too? He lost a friend, or maybe something more intimate, all because said friend wanted to fuck him. That's so relatable tbh.

Striker

Yes I'm including him.

I'm gonna guess he's actually autosexual and otherwise sex-repulsed. Every time sex is brought up, he's visibly uncomfortable and even angry. That could be for any number of reasons, but I'm going with this lol. The only reason I'm not "sure" he's sex-repulsed ace is that fucking statue of his.

I mean, Stolas does comment about him wanting to suck his own dick sooooooo

But he does also use Blitzø's attraction against him, so not repulsed enough to not use others' attraction against them as a means to an end.

He doesn't give off aro vibes to me, but he could be maybe? To me he just feels like whatever drives him comes first. Whatever happened that made him hate royalty with such a passion supersedes anything else he might feel, and who needs attachments if he's just gonna lose them again?

Aces are shockingly well-fed in the Hellaverse huh? Especially considering our general absence anywhere else, and the crumbs we get are hugely stereotyped and wrong. Like, look at that, only one of them is heartless and none of them are passionless robots! And their sexuality isn't their defining personality trait, just some more color! Wow!

Mainstream media take fuckin notes.

[impandgnomes]

May I ask you for uhhhhhh Tweek? 💚

Awww tysm! 🥹 Spent a while typing this on mobile, so forgive any typos lmao

1: sexuality headcanon

Honestly, that kid is gay af bless his soul. I could maybe see him also being ace when he grows up ngl?

2: otp

Creek is such a massive cliché, but CREEEEEK. I guess I'm one of those people who feels like it reminds them a lot of their irl relationship lmao. If you swapped out Craig's guinea pig thing with rats, you'd probably have a good approximation of my partner but as a 10 year-old American cartoon boy

3: brotp

Any one of the kids known as being in "Craig's gang" by the fandom (so like; Clyde, Jimmy, Tolkien lmao), and honestly Wendy. Those two haven't really interacted much, but she genuinely seems to give a shit about him lmao - her genuine concern for him after the fake breakup in Tweek x Craig made me feel so bad for her (Side note; anyone else ever been really bothered by how everyone still probably thought Craig was the bad guy at the end of that episode??? I like to think Tweek confessed to that whole ruse in front of literally the entire town right away 😭 Craig may seem like a bag of frosted arseholes but he's a good kid who desrves to be seen for who he is and not done dirty)

4: notp

I hate to say it but I've never really seen him as being with anyone but Craig lmao - maybe hetero ships? Not going to go on crusades or even feel mad, but it feels odd to imply he's anything but gay to me. it definitely feels weird to see him with anyone else romantically, but if whatever is said by a fan piece interests me, I'll probably check it out.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

I like to think that his parents are so narcissistic, that they named him Tweek unironically as a way of advertising themselves and their shop wherever the boy goes - even when his name isn't said in full. He was 100% named after the place, but they probably have some pamphlets by the door on their "company history" saying otherwise.

6: favorite line from this character

The panicked way he says "It's easy??!!?" in response to being asked what's good about toddler murder in Free Hat is utterly hysterical to me. Peak autism and peak anxiety - I probably would have done the same as a kid in that situation ngl

7: one way in which I relate to this character

I am an anxious little freak of a man who drinks too much coffee and seeks advice and reassurance from my partner - I feel like Tweek at least has an excuse given his parents usage of...concerning substances. Yeah, let's put it that way.

8: thing that gives me second-hand embarrassment about this character

I am an anxious little freak of a man who drinks toouch coffee and seeks advice and reassurance from my partner - but seriously, sometimes the little dude lacks confidence that just feels too real on a level when you strip back the comedic absurdity of the show he's in.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave

He's a cinnamon roll - he has his problems but he honestly seems to have infinitely purer intentions than any of the other kids in the show lmao

[fraeuleintaka]

Investigations 2 Introductory Description

This is the 36th post in the Ace Attorney Investigations Collection Countdown: 45 days left until release!

Today's topic: the Introductory Description of Investigations 2!

I ADORE the tagline they chose for this game aka the absolute best game in the series because yes, it absolutely is "a turnabout like no other"! Couldn't imagine something more fitting for this masterpiece! Nothing else in the series comes close, not only to how epic the story is but also to the level of deductions Miles operates on here. All of the cases are beyond amazing, cases 3, 4 and 5 would all be final cases in any other game, and the "mastermind" is the only character on par with Miles on pure wits alone. "A crisis like no other, a turnabout like no other." really encapsulates all of that.

Interestingly, the first part of the introduction is focused not on the story but on new mechanics and other new stuff that comes with the game. Of course, they have to mention this being Miles' 2nd solo game and then they mention new characters, a new gameplay mechanic in "Mind Chess" (or Logic Chess in the fan translation) and an expansion on the old gameplay mechanic "Little Thief" from Investigations 1. That's especially interesting since the introduction to Investigations 1 didn't mention that gameplay mechanic but rather focused on the change from courtroom to crime scene in general. It makes total sense to highlight these things, I just find it interesting. Maybe because the rest of the website doesn't talk about these so they thought they'd tease them in the description at least?

The latter half talks about Miles' character arc and his central decision over the course of the story. I love this as a focal point. It's a very natural question for his character to ponder considering he initially became a prosecutor because of the trauma from his father's death. Asking himself if and how he wants to continue this path or if he should rather switch back to following in his father's footsteps is a great conflict that feels absolutely necessary for him so that whatever Miles ends up choosing is solely his personal decision and not forced by circumstances. Him thinking about this possibility is forced by circumstances, as the introduction mentions, his right to investigate crimes has been taken away referring to how Justine (Verity) constantly prevents him from investigating the crimes he comes across, threatening him with taking his prosecutor's badge away and forcing him to find alternative methods to get access. This in combination with Ray's (Eddie's) appearance is a good incentive for Miles to start thinking about this but I like that by the end when he makes his final decision the framing makes it clear that this pressure is gone and he is free to decide, it wouldn't feel as genuine otherwise. What his decision ends up being might be comparatively obvious, though the introduction of course frames it as a great source of suspense and mystery, but that's not all that important. Way more important is how Miles gets there and imo they absolutely nailed it! I also love that the introduction frames the question completely neutral, pursuing the truth as a prosecutor VS as a defense attorney, as it should be because one is not inherently better than the other (unlike some other games in the series might end up implying). Since Ray is the one who mainly brings up the question in the game he frames it in a biased way, which makes sense for him. In the end though, Miles and the overall narrative positions it as a decision between two equally viable options and I love that the introduction follows suit.

[kivaember]

freud/rusty wip...

a wip from my rusty/freud fic... man my brain has not been focusing well today hggh save me... crack ship turned legit ship... save me freud/rusty...

“Commander!”

Down the hallway, just before he walked around the corner, Freud paused and slowly turned around. Rusty was slightly breathless as he trotted towards him, having spent the last thirty minutes hunting the ever elusive commander down by grilling people for ‘Freud sightings’. How a normal, unaugmented human could walk up and down the HQ stairs all day without tiring, Rusty didn’t know… 

“Oh, V.IV Rusty,” Freud greeted easily, his perpetual smile not faltering. “What’s up? You look like you’re in a rush.”

“I was looking for you,” Rusty sighed, resting his hands on his hips and evening out his breathing. “You’re a difficult man to pin down.” 

“Hm, really?” Freud glanced upwards thoughtfully. “I was just taking a short walk…”

A short walk? This lunatic had walked up ten flights of stairs only to walk back down them again. On what planet was that short???

“...but you’ve caught me now.” Freud slid his hands into his pockets, tilting his head fractionally as his gaze grew heavy-lidded. “I’m ready to be pinned.”

Rusty ignored that… awkward phrasing. He probably hadn’t meant it like that. “We got derailed by Snail earlier but I was wondering about that spar you promised. Us using STEEL HAZE’s data, I mean.”

Freud didn’t say anything at first, and his expression didn’t really change, but Rusty got the feeling that he had caught him off guard.The Vesper commander glanced away briefly, before looking back at him with a wider smile. 

“Oh, well… sure…” he said slowly, like he was genuinely surprised Rusty would come to him first about it. “I’m free if you are. No one should be using the simulators right now… unless it’s V.V…”

“Hawkins? I didn’t know he was so diligent with his training,” Rusty said without thinking, before wincing. He tried not to imply disparaging things about his fellow Vespers, but the fact was Hawkins was a pretty average AC pilot - in fact, that could be said for most of them, with the exception of Snail and Freud, of course. 

See, while the Vespers were actively recruited amongst Arquebus’s ranks, they weren’t scouted solely for their piloting skills - they were squad commanders, after all, not frontline troops, and Arquebus wanted the Vespers to be as self-sufficient as possible when deployed onto planets well outside of the solar colonies’ robust logistic chains. That meant the Vespers needed someone capable of budgeting their resources, sourcing supplies, managing their administration and operation security, etcetera. In Arquebus’s mind, they only really needed two ace pilots to perform the high-risk, high-reward missions that couldn’t be left to disposable waves of MTs. 

That was the only reason Rusty managed to claw his way into the Vesper ranks: they needed a second ace pilot to ‘support’ Freud.

This allowed the other Vespers to focus on their true role, and aside from their mandatory sparring sessions, no one really put in the hours to keep their piloting skills razor sharp. They didn’t have to. They weren’t expected to. They piloted ACs and were augmented, and most of the time they were fighting mercenaries running ACs scrounged from a dumpster, or workers in construction MTs. They didn’t need to be especially skilled. They didn’t have to train regularly. Freud and Rusty conducted the truly dangerous missions, so why should they bother?

So, hearing that Hawkins was willingly doing extra training outside of his scant few mandatory hours? Of course Rusty was surprised. He’d been under the assumption that Hawkins was content to be a mediocre pilot.

“V.V? Diligent?” Freud snorted obnoxiously. “He isn’t. He’s content with being passably adequate.”

Rusty actually blinked at the caustic disdain that dripped from the commander’s voice, a harsh tone that contrasted eerily with Freud’s otherwise warm smile. It was uncannily jarring. 

“But he’s been tasked with assessing a potential recruit. Some Gen Ten that Arquebus want to properly field test,” Freud continued. “Out of the batch, he’s the only one that’s a somewhat okay pilot. The rest were dregs.”

i get the feeling he’s pissed about this, Rusty couldn’t help but think, staring at the peculiar expression on Freud’s face. That smile, which still came across as genuine, was fixed in place, but his tone, and his dangerously glittering eyes, spoke of a bubbling caldera of resentment and irritation that promised to scald anyone who poked the nest a bit too carelessly. 

“I’m… assuming you don’t get a choice in accepting or rejecting him,” Rusty said hesitantly, trying to strike a perfectly neutral tone. He wasn’t actually sure why Freud was being so open with him about this. Maybe he just needed to vent and Rusty was handily available?

But really, wasn’t this something he should vent about with a close confidant?

though, does he have one? Rusty frowned, i don’t think i’ve ever heard of freud having close friends or family…

“Of course I don’t,” Freud said easily, pivoting on his heel to resume walking. Rusty hurried to keep pace. “Who am I to question Arquebus’s faultless wisdom?”

“Well…” Rusty hesitated, once more struck with a suspicion that Freud was dangling bait here. He couldn’t help but think back to that morning in the elevator, where Freud’s gaze had been incisive enough to physically cut, where Rusty had been so certain he had known…

They took one step, and Rusty contemplated letting the topic drop and leaving his own thoughts about the company ambiguous. 

They took another step, and he immediately discarded that idea, because what if that made Freud clam up and Rusty’s investigation ended up going nowhere?

A third step, and Rusty remembered that this investigation was an impulsive personal project that wasn’t really relevant to his overarching goal. He could let it drop and take the cautious route, so he didn’t blow up years of espionage work for nothing. 

A fourth, and couldn’t help but think what if he’s genuine though? If Freud’s discontent with Arquebus was true… if it was…imagining getting a pilot of his skill on Rusty’s side… it was a gamble, a super risky gamble, but…

A fifth step.

“You’re the Vesper commander,” Rusty finally said. “Surely your opinion holds weight with the higher ups?”

Freud burst into laughter. 

It was a startling loud noise, a full on belly laugh that had Freud throwing his head back and cackling like a madman at the ceiling. Rusty actually jumped half a foot in the air, almost tripping over his own feet in the process. 

“Oh! Oh…” Freud swiftly got himself under control, slapping a hand over his mouth that did nothing to hide his wild grin. “That’s so cute… I forget how much of a country bumpkin you are.”

“W-What- what do you mean by that?” Rusty huffed, concealing his surprise with feigned offence. He had no idea Freud had such an obnoxiously loud laugh. “It’s just common sense, isn’t it?”

Freud snorted and dropped his hand to shake his head. 

“Corporate executives and common sense aren’t on speaking terms,” Freud said simply. 

[poluticus]

🪤🔪🔫 - Panelis

Ask Game Link here!

🪤 What will always lure them into certain danger? A loved one in danger? A promise of something they are always searching for?

[They shrug, clearly dispassionate despite the gravity the question implies] I go into danger if asked. That's the only pre-requisite, really. [Their languid recline quietly freezes, if only for a moment, as they contemplate if there were something that would trump the weight a demand would place upon their shoulders, but they shake their head and shove the thought out of their head before they dwell on it too long.]

🔪 How do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? Do they put themselves at blame?

[The question right after they were thrown slightly off kilter freezes them up. Their mouth hangs open, willing words forth that don't come. A cocktail of vulnerable self loathing fighting against dissociative apathy clash in their eyes, before they sigh and lean their head back to the sky. Their hand pushes back against their forehead, threading through their hair and applying pressure to the source of the disconnect. They are present. They are here.] I... I guess it depends, but as a general rule of thumb, I prioritize damage control regardless of who the misfortune befell. If they're still around to lament whatever happened, then I try to be present but also give them the space to process the incident. As for blame... I guess I both do and don't blame myself. I do in the sense that tragedies are so often domino effects propelled by many players, and if something fell I certainly had a part to play. Yet at the same time, disaster is inevitable and that fact doesn't go away just because I'm present. If anything, it's probably the opposite; I seem to invite misfortune in the world around me. Maybe the wild magic's been quieter these days because it's been infecting my karma instead. ...Is karma real? I don't know. [A rush of air cascades from their lungs as they lock eyes with you] I'm assuming your next question is along this vein.

🔫 Do they trust people easily? How easily will they turn their back to someone? Have they been backstabbed before? Will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

Right. Okay. [They sigh.] No. I don't trust people. People are out for their own interests, and the moment they think you, or I, or anyone else will serve to get in their way, they will discard and stamp out that force. Trust, just like anything else, is a currency, and the average person is all too willing to cash that in for some other benefit that affects their immediate life. I think the only exception I've seen to this in the Agency is Ogun. That man is so selfless it's genuinely staggering. I don't get why he does it, but I respect his drive. I make my objectives very clear and obvious to my fellows: I am here to achieve the benchmark set by the company that paid for my time. If they act in such a way that is irrelevant or detrimental to that cause, I don't consider leaving them behind a betrayal, even though they might try to say otherwise. That said, I will prioritize saving lives over completing a task efficiently, and I care more about saving the lives of my allies than the lives of strangers. Backstabbed... [They chuckle, mirthlessly] How's that monkey's paw theft for a backstab? Ace is wise to not come on any further missions. He is a danger to the sanctity of the mission and I wouldn't hesitate to put him down if the situation called for it. If we're talking about what it'd take for me to take an action that would be perceived as a perceived backstab, then it wouldn't take me much at all; my coworkers only deal in their own interests, broadly speaking, and I'm not here for their interests. I'm here for the Agency's. I wouldn't be surprised if anyone perceived my abstinence in the Bolique mansion as a betrayal. But if you're asking what it would take for me to betray something that has my loyalty... [they fold their arms] My word is my bond. The only thing that can separate my allegiance is a betrayal of my own trust, or a bond of stronger weight demanding my loyalty's severance. I would tell the affected party immediately, stronger bond willing, but... yeah. I think that's the only thing that could actually make me turn my back against something I've pledged myself to.

[deathsmallcaps]

To be fair, it wouldn’t be right of his wife if she talked about his sexuality without his consent, even if it was just a label he was trying for a short while. That would be his business, not the public’s. We’re both wrong for speculating about it.

Even if he genuinely has never ever in his life even kissed another man, and my above claims were wrong, that doesn’t change that maybe he tried out the label.

The only fact I know for sure was that implied he was bi in 2022, and then clarified that he misspoke.

But my point was more that we don’t get on ladies for ‘failing to be bisexual’. I’ve only seen that joke around men, and especially around gnc men or men who tried out so-called gnc looks (we restrict men a lot more) like Travis McElroy with his purple hair (afaik he’s always said he’s straight).

It’s unfair and I think shows off a common tumblr bias. Feminism can’t be achieved unless all people are treated equitably about their gender, their sexuality, and their sexual past. ESPECIALLY when it comes to label back tracking and the like.

I remember back in 2022 when this occurred and there were so many people being pissy or callous about his clarification about being straight. The same people who reblog posts about someone discovering that they were pan at age 43 or realizing that they aren’t a trans woman who uses she/her but a transfem who uses they/she.

Even IF Misha Collins did it as a clout thing (doubt it) we have got to stop policing other’s experiences so religiously. Sometimes you meet a hot lady and question if you’re straight. Sometimes you’re a lady but if she did guy shit. It depends on the person experiencing these things to put their words on it, and it doesn’t really concern the viewer.

This is less in response to you and more me just trying to clarify my stance past 2am lol. At this point, I can agree that there is no evidence straight from the man himself about being anything but a straight guy. I’m not trying to prove otherwise.

A hypothetical person can be bisexual and get never have sex with *anyone*! That person is NOT a failed bisexual. An ace person who has only ever done sex work does not lose the ability to be ace. A gay man can date ladies and transmascs and still be gay. A lesbian can date men and transfems and still be a lesbian. There is no way to FAIL being queer, no way to fail being any smaller label.

Misha Collins seems pretty cool to me, and I think a lot of people on here were awful about his misspoken label in 2022, and this was made a little worse because of his fame and gender, and I’d hate to see that shit repeated again.

college-aged obama portraying himself as bisexual in an effort to attract artsy girls is the funniest thing i’ve read all week

[psychic-refugee]

We Gladly Feast: Author's Commentary

Pugsly’s Attendance:

If he was being bullied at Nancy Regan High, that implies to me that he goes to that school with Wednesday. So, why wouldn’t he also be at Nevermore? If Wednesday turns 16 while at school, then she’s likely a Sophomore, and I would presume that Pugsly is a year behind her as a First Year if they attend Nancy Regan High together. I’m sure for the show he wasn’t at Nevermore was because they didn’t want to add his character and give him any creative real estate as the story was supposed to revolve around Wednesday. For WGF, I think it makes sense he attends Nevermore, and I am looking forward to writing about their sibling interactions.

I do plan to focus more on lore and their time at the school. It’s what I enjoy and am more interested in.

Goody Addams grimoire:

I don’t think such a powerful family artefact would have been left with Normies. I get that for the Frankenstein element, they needed a powerful spell, but I feel like they should have come up with something other than Goody Addam’s book that I think would have otherwise been passed down to her own children/heirs, as obviously the Addam’s family survive after her and flourished. It doesn’t make sense to me either that if the Goody Addam’s grimoire was genuine and in Pilgrim World, that the Outcasts would just leave it there. Even if Pilgrim World post dated Gomez and Morticia’s attendance at Nevermore, Nevermore students have been there in the past several years. No one was like, hey there’s Outcast property they’re showcasing…maybe alert someone so this magical item isn’t in the hands of Normies?

I also feel like Morticia Addams would have told Wednesday about their family learning their powers through their ancestors early on. Feels like pertinent information, maybe something told to her along with other information dealing with puberty. Even if she wouldn’t because it was possible that Wednesday would not get visions, then Wednesday would know if she had a sister who did get her powers earlier.

I will be pulling things from every incarnation of the Addams to build the lore, but most of it will be from the 90’s movies and this series.

I do like Xavier and I want him and Wednesday to be a romantic ship eventually. Ace Wednesday is totally valid, and more in line with canon IMO. That’s not the story I want to write, so hopefully I write it in such a way that the eventually Xavier is someone that Wednesday could actually like.

What I want to expand on Xavier’s character:

Ajax can be quoted as saying “he’s my boy, but he’s super competitive…bro’s got a darker side.” Two things that I think Wednesday would actually find appealing…IF WE EVER SAW IT. So, I am definitely going to make Xavier darker and competitive…as a treat.

We also see that his father is physically absent in his life but involved enough to order that if Xavier needs mental health help, he can get it, but he can’t make it known. Xavier can only see Kinbott in secret. This is a man who can’t be arsed to show up on Parent’s Weekend, but will step in if he thinks his reputation is at risk.

This is also a fellow wealthy Outcast family, as Wednesday implies they’re equals. “Girls in glass houses…” “Throw bigger stones.” We know that the Thorpes and Addams are close enough that they’d be invited to the same funeral. I want to really play around with the idea of like an elite wealthy echelon of Outcast society, with their own traditions and rules.

Right now, we know of several Outcast families that are socially entwined: Addams, Frump, Thorpe, Itt, and Amor. I see these as THE top wealthy and known Outcast families.

I did change Godmother to Grandmother. I think it’d be kind of weird that a) Outcasts would have Godmothers as it’s mostly a Catholic/Christian thing and b) to make someone as old as a friend of Grandmama’s a Godmother kind of defeats the purpose of making them a guardian if something were to happen to Mr. Thorpe. I think making the Godmother the Grandmother also gives more of a bond between Xavier and the relative he lost.

I made Grandmama and Grandma Thorpe lovers because that’s just what it sounded like to me when he told the story. They were “friends” who “spent their twenties in Europe, swindling the rich and notorious.” Sounds like Be Gay, Do Crimes to me. The “friends” euphemism just sounds like something Vincent Thorpe would tell his ten-year-old, and Xavier just never thought to question it. Or perhaps that’s something they only do in Catholic families like mine. Lol Uncle or Auntie so and so’s “special friend.” The Addams, however, would be more open and blunt. I see maybe Grandmama Addams married her husband young, had at least one heir to appease the marriage, leave the child rearing to husband, and then Grandmama has a grand ol’ time tearing up the countryside with her lover.

Enid’s Blog/gossiping:

I think they glossed over this way too quickly. If there is some student who openly gossips about other students, I can’t imagine that she is that popular, even if some see her as useful for some entertainment. There was a reason why Gossip Girl was anonymous, especially in a small school, there would be many a people pissed if someone was openly talking shit about them. In a school filled with powered teenagers, I would have thought there would have been retribution already.

Or does everyone see Enid as so pathetic, she's not worth getting worked up over? Is she just some lone wolf to be pitied?

We also notice that Enid is not part of the Nightshade Society, while her friend and dorm mate Yoko is. This to me implies that Enid just isn’t that popular. Especially since two members, Xavier and Bianca, might have been victims of Enid’s gossip site. I’d be like, fuck no she can’t join. I wouldn’t trust her. Enid even gossiped about Wednesday, whom she was DIRECTLY LIVING WITH, which is just asking for a knife to the throat.

Not only would Enid’s gossip make her unpopular, but I see some exclusion because she can’t wolf out. I want to explore that more, where Enid has a lot in common with Wednesday because they’re both misunderstood and don’t fit in with their peers. Does she gossip and make it obvious, so she stays ahead of any gossip about herself? If potentially being a “lone wolf” can affect her joining a real pack and taking on a mate, I can see wolves keeping their distance from her until she can wolf out. Because whether or not she’s a true lone wolf or a late bloomer, the situation is the same, she can’t wolf out and isn’t truly one of them yet. 

Let me know your headcanons

[absolutebl]

I've been showing a good friend BL twice a week since early pandemic. She's seen a lot of the best stuff, and recently finished To My Star 2. We were discussing how the seme/uke and top/bottom perceptions affect how the characters are portrayed.

With TMS2, I commented that the scenes we get to the end where they keep switching who is big and little spoon felt like a tasteful way to show that they were versatile. We also noted that Pat and Pran are never shown in a way that confirms their positions.

Does your spreadsheet track anything regarding top/bottom presentation, and do you have thoughts on BL and how it presents this?

(note from the future, this post if VERY old now and since 2023 there have been a lot more verse characters)

Verse Characters in BL 

What an interesting question.

Well I would argue that Fighter & Tutor are the only Thai BL couple who are explicitly verse, in their case they talk about it openly in terms of "showing ownership" which is pretty clearly code for who fucks whom. As in, the idea of being taken or taking (invasion) = ownership. Trust a BL script to use the language of war for an act of communication and connection. 

My spreadsheet doesn’t track this because it’s so rare. I remember a couple other times getting very excited about it (other than Why R U?) but not which shows. 

Okay here’s our biggest example: 

Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese shows them verse (explicitly depicts the sex act both ways), but it’s one of Japan’s discussions about the nature of identity and intimacy and possession. It could actually be argued that the whole movie is a debate of what seme/uke means and does to its characters, what obsession means, how long term devotion without consequences of boundaries corrupts. It’s kind of like the very dark version of what could have happened to the characters in My Beautiful Man if they had never managed to find each other and reconcile (and Hira learn to accept and express himself). The leads in CMDoC are genuinely at war, so the lens showing us who fucks whom as an expression of who is winning the narrative battle at that point in time. 

Look, I don’t like this movie, but apparently if it’s Japan I’m always going to have a lot to say. 

I mean there needs to be enough self aware queerness in the BL to realize this should even be addressed - otherwise just slap seme/uke on it and conflate personality with sexual preference (SIGH). 

Also the BL has to somewhat follow the characters into the bedroom, and it would need to be higher heat which, in and of itself, is pretty rare. 

So I did a heat ranking, then a ratings sort (since I’m more likely to rate verse characters higher) and here’s a short list of ones for which a case for verse... could be made. 

Why R U? - Fighter & Tutor (no question - couched in a request to “prove/show ownership”) 

My Day - Ace & Sky (also I think this is pretty clear via their sex scenes - they were the other ones I was thinking of, also they engage in some fun light kink, I LOVE these two) 

To My Star 1 & 2 - implied by the cuddling debate in 2

Bad Buddy - actually they imply, when asked at one point, that it’s still open to debate between them, so we don’t know what they settled on but given their dynamic, probubly verse 

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - ZiXuan & YuHao, I mean YuHao's fantasies go both ways so I think he, at least, is verse

Mr Cinderella - mostly because of the linguistic grappling, but also both actors have a history of the seme role (clearly also implied top) in their other BLs, they swap tropes around a lot too in this one 

His the movie - it’s just... not important 

Ai no Kotodama - I actually think they have a kinda conversation about this, it’s been a long time since I watched it though, and 2010 = intentionally confusingly vague about everything 

Boys Love - right so there’s a bit of an underpinning dialogue about this in both installments. In both cases I think the “teacher” is meant to be the bottom, but also the student is so desperate and so needy there’s an implication that he would do ANYTHING, including alter his whole identity (even sexual preference as a top) in order to be with the object of his desire, which is part of what makes their love destructive - it cannot and does not conform to... anything, least of all seme/uke (which at the time, when present, was always conflated with Top/bottom). 

Either of KarnNat’s pieces, I mean I think Nat is meant to be the catcher, but they don’t act their higher heat scenes that way, it’s extremely mutual, and power exchange back and forth in terms of who kisses whom and stuff. 

Frankly, any of the couples who have no seme uke are open to debate since in Thai BL especially Top/bottom = Seme/uke (it shouldn’t, but in the narrative it’s implied). BL couples where there is no seme/uke

Be Loved in House: I Do - YuZhen & ShiLei, maybe 

Double Mints - fuck ‘em, though 

Ingredients 

My Tee 

Wish You 

Second Chance - PaperFah

Seven Days 

So Much in Love - North & Onsah, there’s no seme/uke in this Thai pulp, but it’s so much a pulp and so confusing I’m not sure if that’s intentional or just failure of narrative clarity and poor acting 

Your Name Engraved Herein - I am NEVER watching this movie again, but from my recollection of the characters’ behaviors, maybe?  

Gameboys 2 - I have only seen discussion here and the previews, but I think they make this pretty clear in conversation and behavior

Hey Rival I Love You - certainly entirely up in the air in all ways

Love is Science? - Mark & Ouwen, I think the flip flopping of who’s on top/in charge in their sex scene implies general experimental willingness, shall we say?

HIStory 3: Trapped - TangYi & ShaoFei, possibly, ShaoFei is hesitant because he’d scared, but that’s of the implications and intimacy of being a couple, not really of sex. After all he runs away when TangYi is too nice and gentle with him.

I honestly think My Engineer 2 should go there with RamKing. They are perfect characters and actors to do this with. But Thailand really doesn’t have the guts. 

Other pairs who I think can and should rep verse? 

First & Toru 

PokeTongue 

MaxTul could absolutely portray verse. Why they haven’t yet is a weakness of Thai BL and y-novels inability to stop heterosexually vomiting all over their gays. 

Weirdly? EarthMix, I think they could and should do a bit of a FighterTutor sitch in Moonlight Chicken. 

Crosses arms.

Impress me, GMMTV. 

A reminder: 

So top/bottom/verse is difficult because it means we follow the characters into the bedroom AND have a glimpse into their penetration preferences, that means very high heat, and there is (statistically) less of that in BL.

As opposed to Dom/sub/switch which plays into personality and correlates better (but not perfectly) to a seme uke dynamic because it is about who has the power to make decisions.

And my definition of Seme/uke - which is the character showing the most narrative drive to consummate the relationship (physically or otherwise) = seme. 

Finally: 

Sexual preference does not correlate to personality! Please stop this. I put it to you in het terms: 

If you are a straight women who likes to ride reverse cowgirl style does this show up in your personality as you walk around in your day to day life? No it does not. 

So a boy likes to fuck or be fucked - that’s like cake verse pie, it doesn't say anything about how aggressive that boy is in relationships. And prying into that dynamic is tantamount to me asking you about the details of your penetration preferences. (Which, to be fair, I probubly would, but I'm a curious, rude, intrusive shitmonger.) 

Also, it behoves me to add, plenty of gay men do not like penetration at all. Plenty of straight women don’t like it. Or don’t like vaginal but do like a-play. And plenty of straight men like to be pegged. A-play has to do with how sensitive you are, how relaxed, how prepped, how much lube, whether you find the idea a turn on when applied to yourself, how self conscious you are, and a host of other factors. 

Puts proverbial soap box away while reminding you that soap = also to be used prior to such encounters. 

(source)

[koushisatori]

if you can't believe in others, at least believe in us

kyoutani x gn!reader

genre: as ordered: a bit of angst w a touch of comfort

warnings: one (1) big jealous idiot, miscommunication

word count: 5.4k

note: this is smth an anon asked me to do (but like...nearly a year ago, I'm not sure if anon is still there or if they remember and my dumbass deleted the ask so I just beta-ed through whatever I had but I know they called me out on enjoying jealous characters so here we go) I'm sorry, mysterious anon, I'm stupid </3 Anyway, that's that. I don't remember if reader was supposed to be female or not so I made it gn!reader (but if I forgot to change something, pls tell me so I can fix any errors c: It's also my first attempt I apologize in advance)

In the beginning, you weren't sure why your boyfriend is ignoring you

You can't remember doing something that would annoy him, nor do you remember an instant of anger in his eyes that would give you a hint about his reasoning to stay away from you

He explained early on that sometimes he just needs a day of distance because Kentarou could feel the anger simmering right under the surface, enough that something small could tick him off already, and he would hate if you were on the receiving end of this unexplained fury

Both of you also made sure to promise each other to clearly communicate, the relationship between the two of you would not last long if you're not properly telling each other what might be bothering or hurting...just in general cross a boundary

Communication probably was one of the most important aspects of your relationship

cue to the actual situation: your boyfriend avoiding you

So, Monday evening you think maybe it's this overwhelming sensation of unexplained anger and that something at morning practice ticked him off completely

But then Tuesday comes and goes, and your boyfriend had avoided you all day long, did not even bother to read your messages,

on Wednesday, you try to talk to him, but all he does is glaring at you with a look that leaves you speechless and kind of heartbroken,

Thursday is the day you're replaying everything you did on Monday, trying to find something that he could have misunderstood, yet no matter how hard you think about it…your brain won't come up with a reason that explained why Kentarou was so upset with you!

So you decide to make him talk to you on Friday

Enough is enough, right? For gods' sake, he is your boyfriend! You miss him and his strong arms that give hugs so warm that you melt right into them

You don't get a second alone with him until school ends

you practically sprint out of the school building over to the gym, knowing that he had a free hour, which means that he is probably the first person there - your only chance

There he is, sitting with his back to you, aggressively chewing on a bun filled with chicken - his usual that reminded him of his favorite dish - glaring holes into the ground

After taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you carefully aks: ''Kentaro…Ken…?'', slowly stretching out your hand, wanting to rest it on his shoulder to maybe help to soothe him a bit

he flinches instead and his heated, agitated gaze meets your eyes, making you recoil in return

''…will you talk to me, I miss you…'' you say softly, realizing how it hurt being ignored by him

''Ah, suddenly you miss me…'' he spits, narrowing his eyes ''…didn't fucking seem like it the last time I saw you…''

''Kentaro, baby, I have no idea what you mean,'' you plead, keeping your voice low to hide the desperation lacing it, confusion written all over your features

all Kyoutani does is growl, hopping down from where he's sitting while shouldering his gym bag

''...shouldn't have been so flirty with Shittykawa like that then-'' he grumbles - ''Ken, I didn't-'' you insist, but he continues ''twirling your hair, batting your pretty eyelashes at him, fuck you Y/N, if you want him, then feel free to take a fucking leave" Kyoutani cusses, not even listening to you

You shake your head, ''Kentaro, no, you totally misunderstood the situation,'' you follow up, panic seeping into your voice now that you knew what he referred to, ''I love yo-''

''Tsk'', he moves to leave

you try to take his hand but, instead of turning around, Kyoutani just rips it away from you, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket

from behind you, you hear Yahaba and Oikawa approaching (talking about Volleyball and Captains duties)

once they guessed what must have happened, they offered you their help (they both swear that Kyoutani will never ever find a ''cute s/o as you are, y/n-chan, I'm worried for my little angry pomeranian kohai'' )

Usually, you would try to talk to him, but after enduring a week of radio silence and now this treatment, you were tired of upholding something that seemed like a lost cause

you just wave both setters off and leave the school grounds, a frown plastered onto your lips and tears swimming in your eyes

Kentarou had not listened to you, did not even really look at you, and the few seconds he did, his eyes were filled with rage instead of the warmth he had usually reserved for you (and only for you)

If your boyfriend thinks avoiding you for a week and blaming you for something ridiculous without hearing you out is how you handle a relationship…maybe you would have to consider not pursuing it any longer

Which is easier said than done

The whole night you wait for a message, anything, and then all Saturday morning

you still had hope left

You get one from Yahaba, who tells you that Oikawa tried to clear up the situation as well after the reason for your fight dawned on him (Kyoutanis piss poor mood and behavior towards him a strong indicator) but Kentaro, again, just ran off

The future team captain even called you after your lackluster answer, listening to you getting the frustration and sadness out of your system

It didn't matter, right? Your boyfriend decided to unofficially call it quits by implying that your feelings for him were not genuine instead of using his mouth to talk to you and disregarding everyone involved

as if he wanted to ignore the truth as a convenient excuse to get out of your relationship

that's the conclusion your brain came up with

You softly sniffle in the privacy of your room, clutching a pillow to your chest (which has seen more tears in the last two days than in the past three years), deciding that it would be a good idea to go into the city to treat yourself

knowing that your mother has a hair-dresser appointment somewhen today, you go and announce that you would join her to finally buy the latest season of your favorite series

once there, you additionally get microwave popcorn, chocolate, and ice cream, as well as a pretty shirt you saw on a mannequin while window shopping

you feel a lot better after spending some money and ignoring the lingering sadness of your presumable break up with Kyoutani (who you love ok, it is not that easy)

In between your stops, you meet Iwaizumi and Oikawa munching on fatty burgers (celebrating your cheat days like a holiday and indulging in whatever your heart desires, is what makes it easier to stick with healthier habits the rest of the time was the questionable explanation coming from the brown-haired setter, pointing at you with a soggy potato fry)

after a moment, the setters eyes turn sad, a frown replacing the smile on his lips

he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you from going just yet, apologizing for being the cause of your fight and for being unable to talk some sense into him

(you assure him that it is not his fault, knowing that your friend will probably brood over it otherwise, which wouldn't be fair)

Iwaizumi adds that Kyoutani will come around and that his cooldown time is just longer than those of other people (and if not, he will give him one of his famous volleyballs to the head and use his status as only truly respected senpai to talk some sense into him) but you again decline their suggestions

after saying goodbye (and seeing Iwaizumi give his best friend an assuring gentle pat on his shoulder, the secret softy in the usual harsh ace shining through)

If Kentaro was willing...able to throw away your relationship this easily, he can't possibly really love you, and you'd accept this even if it's hard and painful

Now remembered of what you had attempted to forget about, you feel your eyes sting with unshed tears (you thought there was no possibility of you having more tears to spill, yet the impossible seemed to be the case) you look down at your phone to text your mom and frown

Kentaro 🥰: we need to talk. Kentaro 🥰: meet me there [location]

For a second, you hesitate, biting your lower lip harshly…you really want to go and talk to him but…

The tears still sting in your eyes and blurring your view reminded you of what you had gone through the whole time, and that it was his turn to finally come to you

break up or makeup, the ball was in his court now

so while walking to where your mother would be waiting for you, you begin to type

You: No.

You: I waited for you all week, even though you ignored me, and now you expect me to run the moment you choose to stop being a childish idiot?

You: if you decide to speak to me then comqjdkn

Kentarou wouldn't say he feels particularly bad. Not at all! If someone was to ask him, he would probably answer fucking peachy, what the fuck are you asking for or growl angrily. No one would bat an eye and further question him, nor guess that maybe he wasn't as great as he pretended because he missed his gorgeous better half, but…it was his fault, wasn't it?

Of course, he originally thought he had a valid reason to be upset. And if he had just spoken to you about it, everything would be solved now. Instead of being a decent boyfriend, though, his pride overtook his thinking processes once he realized that his behavior wasn't even the slightest bit justified. Not that he knew this when he saw you speaking with Shittykawa right before school. All he could see was his gorgeous s/o shyly fiddling with her fingers, conversing with a leaned forward, very involved Oikawa Tooru. He would have fetched you away from the brown-haired setter. He had no qualms about showing his possessiveness. God, Kentarou wouldn't have hesitated to growl at the tall, brown-haired boy if not for the question he heard coming from the Captain.

''Y/N-chan, how is it that you, an adorable, charming individuum, is with a brute like Mad Dog-chan? I really-'' Well, that's where he decided to leave you with the setter. He didn't need to hear your answer. Didn't want to witness an excuse or maybe the truth. If both of you were so fucking smitten with each other to flirt this blatantly, why don't you just go and cheer for him, hold his hand, and kiss his cheek goodbye? It was his choice to distance himself.

Kyoutani couldn't help the feeling of betrayal and hurt washing over him. Maybe you just used him as a stepping stone to get closer with Oikawa, and Kyoutani has been too blind to see it. He never doubted you or your relationship before, but it's not a secret how eruptive Kyoutani could be. It has always been beyond his imagination how someone so cute and sweet like you could love a person like him. Your friends thought so. The teachers. The whole school! Everyone questioned your poor judgment. And when you came running up to him, you're cheery voice calling out for him, everyone present looked at you like you grew a second head. It's the reason why seeing you with Trashykawa ticked him off so bad. It catered to his biggest insecurities and fears. He knew that all those skeptics would be delighted to see you, everyone's darling, with the schools' star setter. They all would agree that the pretty, handsome young man is a better fit than the always hostile-looking troublemaker.

While Kyoutani didn't take Oikawa seriously in most cases, he undoubtedly was one of the most devoted people Kentarou had ever met. If Oikawa wanted to get a new serve right, he wouldn't stop trying and repeating it until his legs gave in, and Iwaizumi dragged him out of the gym. When he wanted to find more advanced players to practice with, so he could, in return, give this new knowledge to his team, there was no way he would not manage to make it happen. Even if his ideas, wishes, and plans cost him blood, sweat, and tears (like getting Kyoutani to actually train), Oikawa never backed down. Kentarou had heard that Oikawa's last girlfriend dumped him because of his passion for Volleyball. Yet Kyoutani couldn't help but think that, in you, the ambitious setter would have found someone that would be able to handle it. You usually came over to watch the team when you knew that Kyoutani was there to play. You sat on the stands with your homework in your lap and a Seijoh-coloured pencil wiggling between your fingers, not bothered by the noises coming from the court. You play with your earlobe while you frown at whatever problem you came across. You patiently wait for practice to finish. Kentarou was sure that you'd be someone Oikawa would actually try for. You weren't one of his squealing fangirls, hanging from his arm on every opportunity, but his friend. You didn't pester him to take selfies with you while pushing cute bentos into his hands. When you bring food to practice, then it's for the whole team to share. If he wanted you, Oikawa would probably have to win you over and make sure that you'd stay. Courting and all that jazz. In all seriousness, Shittykawa would be a fucking idiot if not.

The dyed-blond wing spiker had been so sure that he was rightfully mad that he didn't stop to think twice before he reacted this coldly towards you. But, and this made it even worse, Kentarou knew that he was wrong the moment you asked what happened after an entire week of enduring his silent treatment. The second he heard your shaky voice and saw the tears welling up in your eyes, his brain rebooted, and suddenly he wasn't so sure of his own reasoning. You two were together for about half a year. Kyoutani - by now - was confident in his ability to identify most of your expressions. All he could decipher in your eyes was pain, paired with a need to understand, but…if he was in the wrong…it would mean that he had hurt you the whole week, which in conclusion implied that Kentarou had been the world's shittiest boyfriend. Fuck, he thought, I don't deserve y/n.

His situation didn't get any better the moment Oikawa entered the gym. The person Kyoutani thought he had a real reason to despise now tried to mend the rift between the two of you.

''Mad Dog-chan, I think you misunderstood something there. Well, no, you decided to not listen-'' The taller male says, hands gesturing wildly. While his voice still had that annoyingly cheery tone, it had something commanding hidden underneath. And oh, how Kentarou hated when someone demanded something of him, even if it was for his own good. ''Don't want to hear it.'' the blond mutters, already aggravated. The brown-haired setter resolutely puts himself in the way again. ''Oh, but you have to! That morning, Y/N-chan literally declared her love for yo-'' - ''I don't fucking care.'' Kentarou barks, not looking Oikawa in the eyes.

After another fruitless attempt to get properly into the gym, he growls and turns to leave. Already on his way to grab his stuff and take a leave, he hears Oikawa yelling. ''You answered and justified why I asked Y/N-chan to begin with!" And then louder, even though he could make out Iwaizumi trying to wrestle his childhood friend back into the gym, "APOLOGIZE, YOU IDIOT! YOU BETTER GROVEL FOR Y/N'S FORGIVENESS! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS SHOW YOU'RE PUTTING ON, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

This happened on Friday evening, and the guilt was gnawing away on him ever since. On his way home, Kyoutani had automatically taken the detour to your house. Kentarou enjoyed bringing you home (and more often than not, you pulled him inside with you, making him cuddle you!). It makes him feel like a good boyfriend, and he knew that you arrived there safely. He would never tell anybody and deny it if you ever decided to share this, but Kentarou relished in the feeling of your hand holding his all the way while going on about your day. He admired that you'd pet every cat and every dog you meet on the trip home together with him. You were perfect for him…why again did he act like this?

What caused Kyoutani's attempt to apologize - in his usual overly blunt and partly aggressive kind of way - was Yahaba, though. Both boys denied being remotely something beyond 'not really enemies'. But his future team captain was definitely one of the very few people that could and would tell him to his face that he fucked up without real repercussions. He would presumably even help Kyoutani to get it together.

After Yahaba had called you and listened to your heartbreaking rant, the setter realized that you, his friend, and his 'not really enemy' needed to talk ut out. Totally immersed in your tirade, you accidentally let slip that you couldn't endure Kyoutani's treatment any longer. That being pushed over by your boyfriend with brash and hurtful words after handling the cold shoulder was too much. That you expected Kyoutani to break up with you on Monday either way. In-person, if he had mercy on you or continue his treatment as a silent method of doing so. While you told Yahaba about your planned ''get over it-self-care'' weekend (involving tons of ice cream, movies with crying guarantee, lots of blankets, and no smartphone), the setter had already put on his jacket, shooting a message to Kyoutani.

From Yahaba: get your stupid fucking ass outside to meet me, or I'll bench you the complete season next year

Even though the wing spiker was sure that Yahaba's words were nothing but empty words, Kentarou allowed himself to accept this threat as an excuse to put his pride aside. Because, even though Yahaba annoyed him to no end - not as bad as Oikawa but still - Kentarou was also aware that you and he were friends. If someone could help him gaining your forgiveness, Kyoutani had to accept and admit that it was Yahaba. Meeting his light brown-haired teammate was kind of awkward. Kyoutani was unsure what he had to expect, though he should have seen the rough treatment coming. Yet, getting told that you, the person Kentarou was undeniably in love with, felt so neglected and hurt that you deemed this relationship to be as good as over allowed the guilt monster in his chest to grow. Shitty Oikawa was probably right ordering him to grovel and beg on his knees for you to even hear him out.

Your answer to his message was partly unlike you. Well, the last sentence. You usually were pretty forward with him to avoid miscommunication and uncalled-for moping around. And while you sometimes send keyboard smashes to express the chaos you felt, they were always in a separate message and not so…random. The text definitely meant something like ''then come to me'' but somehow, Kyoutani had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing.

Besides, he couldn't just wait till Monday and hope that you'd accept his apology! You may send him away today already, but he still had a teeny-tiny bit of hope. If he let the thoughts of him leaving you or the other way around fester in your mind for two whole days, though,…you'd probably realize that leaving him wasn't that bad of a decision. You'd come to the conclusion that all your admirers could treat you better than Kyoutani did. And he was too selfish to let you leave. Even though all he did the whole week was being self-centered and stuck up, he would be damned to begin being a saint now and let you go. That you at least were willing to talk to him was…a relief, to say the least. Kentarou hoped that this translated to you being willing to put up with him a little longer if he apologized correctly. That you're not opposed to giving him another chance to make things right.

At your house, he was greeted with darkness. Not even a single light illuminating any of the rooms he could see from his spot on your front lawn. And the ones he saw were your and your mom's most-used rooms. Your room window, your mothers' workroom, and the living room area with an adjacent kitchen. All of those rather significant rooms and the lack of light in them seemed to be a dead giveaway for Kyoutani that no one was home. Kyoutani guessed that you were probably out with your mom, glancing over to the empty spot in front of the garage.

Oh god, your mother had been the only supportive person of your relationship. Maybe it's in your family to see the best in everyone, even in shitty people like him. But if you told her about his behavior, she'd most likely not welcome him with a smile ever again, no matter if you forgave him.

There weren't many things Kyoutani could do in this situation, but it wasn't as late as nature let it on, and after a few seconds, he had decided to sit down at the front door and wait for you, hoping that it wouldn't take too long for you to come home. As if fate wanted to tell him something, the wing spiker had put on the jacket with the half-full power bank. He had worn it to the shelter when he visited it this week while distracting himself from your absence in his daily life. You had gifted him the piece of clothing, which is probably why he unconsciously had decided to wear it to everything he did after school in the first place.

Kentarou passed the time by snarling at people eyeing him for a moment too long to not be judgmental, petting the neighbors' cat wandering over to him, and watching videos. Every time he thought ''Y/N would like this'', his heart stuttered guilty.

To Kentarou, it felt like an eternity until your mother's car finally drove up the entry. To avoid your mother's potentially deadly stare, he nervously checked his mobile, realizing that he had waited for a little more than 3 hours. Yet, the wait had done nothing to soothe his nerves. They instantly spiked up again while his heart threatened to jump out of his throat.

She will hate me. Your mother would hate me, she'll hate me, she'll ha-

''Ah, Ken-chan! Good evening.'' Your mother greets him with a tired, yet still gentle smile. Oh. The blond blanches. He'd never admit it, but he enjoyed the treatment he received from your mother more than he should. Being spoken to without suspicion and receiving a warm smile every time without fail was a welcome change to his daily life. Your mother didn't listen to people trying to bad-mouth him. To her, he simply was the boy that - normally - treats her child the way a mother wished for. Even if he pulled a face as long as a fiddle.

''I didn't know you were coming, Ken-chan, or I would have messaged you…but now that you're here, maybe you can assist us out and help Y/N inside? It would help a lot.'' His gaze immediately flitted over to you on the passenger seat. With your arms crossed in front of your chest and that stubborn but endearingly cute pout on your lips, he nearly missed the tiredness your body emitted. Kentarou wanted to rush over to your side immediately but was stopped by your mother again. ''I don't know what you two are fighting about…but please talk to each other. I don't want my baby to be this sad. Especially now, and…'' she rests a hand on his shoulder, her eyes kind and comforting ''…I also don't want to miss you here, alright?'' He stiffly nodded and watched your mother carrying in plastic bags filled with various medicine packages and food.

After coming back to his senses, Kyoutani finally stumbled over to your side, practically ripping open the car door. This new perspective revealed a plaster cast wrapping your whole left leg and a removable wrist brace on your right hand. ''Bab- Y/N…what the fuck…happened?'' His honey-brown eyes continued to wander over your injuries, and with every second, he found more. Scratches and scrapes, bandaids and bandages peeking out from underneath your clothes. ''I'm so sorry,'' he whispered, hanging his head low.

All your intentions to fight his helping hand and limp over to the door by yourself disintegrated into nothing. You never witnessed such a devastated, beaten expression on his face before. Instead, you settle for ''Will you help me?''. A question asked quietly to your fingers picking at a loose band-aid edge on your arm and pressing it back onto the irritated skin.

After you loosened your seatbelt, he waits for you to carefully place your arms around his neck. It is followed by Kyoutani lifting you out of the car so gently as if he was afraid you might break. This whole situation in itself already contradicting his brash appearance and usual behavior. It would give whiplash to all the people pretending to know him. But he was always caring in his own way when it came to you. It's why you loved him after all. Because you usually knew that he loved you, too.

For a few moments, the atmosphere between the two of you felt awkwardly tense, both of you unsure how to interact with each other. The mostly blonde wing spiker breathed out a sigh of relief when you fully leaned into his chest once he stood upright, resting your head against his shoulder. A bit of maneuvering through the front door eventually lead to Kyoutani passing through the hallway and taking you to your room, where he was gently lowering you down on the bed.

It was a now or never kind of situation. For the both of you. While Kentarou was trying to find out where to begin his apology, he took a few steps back in case you wanted space until everything was cleared up.

You unconsciously helped him making a decision by impulsively grasping onto his shirt the moment he started to withdraw, stopping him in his retreating movement. Kentarou saw your lower lips wobbling, teary eyes looking up at him pleadingly.

''Please stay,'' you say weakly, which is enough for him to throw the whole thinking process away and simply sit down next to you, intertwining both your hands. ''I'm staying. I'm not leaving. Not now nor this relationship if you still want...an ''us''. The wing spiker took a deep, shuttering breath. '' I'm sorry, Y/N…'' he finally manages to say, honey eyes locked onto your linked your hands. ''I have been fucking stupid all week. 've been a fucking terrible boyfriend, the worst to ever exist.''

As if to encourage him...to show your boyfriend that his apology was not for nothing, you shuffled around until the last bit of distance between the two of you was closed. You hum, acknowledging his words while leaning your head on his shoulder.

''I didn't think you're cheating or something, …'' Kyoutani immediately assures you. There was no way he would allow you to think that he would accuse you of something like this. ''I had no reason to be jealous, but I was insecure. Let it get the best of me. Despite our promise to communicate, I was sulking. 't was easier. I'll do whatever the fuck you want for you to not give up yet…'' he says, taking his time with every sentence.

With a sigh, you squeeze his hand. ''It will probably take a lot of cuddling and attention from you...'' you say thoughtfully ''...but I forgive you…if you promise to not do this again…'' you murmur, tilting your head upward to press a chaste kiss to his jaw. ''Otherwise, I'll accept Iwaizumi-san's offer to get your thinking process restarted.'' For a moment, your voice had its usual joking edge. But you knew talking out everything was necessary. ''But, in all honesty, 'Tarou....please, never do this again. I am honest. I will not endure this a second time. When you tell me that you need a day or two for yourself then that is totally fine. If you feel yourself giving into whatever insecurity, talk to me about it. I am sure there will be an explanation or a solution but don't leave me in the dark. Don't treat me like that. I love you. Only you and no one else. But the time love can withstand straight-up ignorance by your partner is limited.''

Slowly, your boyfriend nodded, squeezing your hand to tell you that he understood. You would probably cling to him for a while but were sure that he would survive the extra closeness. Not even half a second later, his head leans onto yours cautiously.

''…and try being nicer to Oikawa-san, Tarou, he hasn't done anything to you.'' You add humorously before small giggles started to erupt from your lips. ''Also...Baby…'' you start, being interrupted by choked-up hiccups and giggles. By using your nickname for him, you take away another persistent fear of his. What he does not miss, however, is how you wince in pain before you continue, ''…who helped you put this into words? I mean…I loved it, but…,'' You leave unsaid that words usually are not his strong fort.

Biting back a smile, he frowns, huffs, and puffs…, but the way you are looking up at him, eyes shining with relief and adoration, allows him to admit defeat. He sighs ''…it's how Yahaba said I should say it…'' It usually would be an odd enough statement to make you throw yourself all over him with laugher. As a slight replacement, you squeeze his hand a bit, still shaking with suppressed laughter. ''I promise…that I will talk to you. Can't promise the Shittykawa part.'' Another soft chuckle leaves your lips before you look up at him again. ''I hope you try nonetheless. You should not let Iwaizumi-san hear you calling Oikawa-san that, though, I don't think this would turn out well for you…so...maybe stop this at least.'' Kentarou rolls his eyes at you, but in the end, he nods.

You wait for another second to clearly distinguish the two topics before you continue. ''…Thank you…for coming and finally speaking with me instead of break-'' A hand on your lips muffles your words.

''Don't say these words. I'd never break up with you,'' Kentarou grumbles, a light, uncharacteristic light pink settling on his cheeks. You stick your tongue out, which leads to him taking his hand off of your face with a surprised noise, rather dumbfounded that you had licked his hand. It gives you the chance to lean up and finally press your lips against his. ''I'm not leaving you either,'' you murmur, feeling his lips twitch upwards slightly. You decide to leave the teasing for another day.

Moving back into your previous position was enough of a hassle to hiss in pain. It brought back Kyoutani's awareness of the second problem at hand. ''What did happen to you?'' Kyoutani asks in an attempt to tamper down the excited, happy beating of his heart.

''Oh, this...uh, when I answered your text, I got driven over by a dude on a bicycle,'' you casually drop. It was kind of entertaining to watch his expressions change at an unequaled pace while processing your words. In the end, it settled into something akin to passive-aggressive worry. The way he was immediately fretting over you while cursing and cussing out the bicycle dude was his own way of caring. As you watch him retrieving the food your mother bought, while mumbling about how you're a dumbass for not paying attention to your surroundings, how he'd come over every day until you could go to school again to bring and teach you the stuff you would miss and how he would fucking murder the bicycle idiot if he ever finds out who dared to drive you over, you can't help the smile forming on your lips.

Once again, you are proven that loving him - while occasionally troublesome and demanding - was everything but wrong.

[stranger-rants]

How do you even comment on a post that is specific to Stranger Things / Billy Hargrove and the ongoing lack of concern for abuse survivors in this fandom without realizing it? I am genuinely curious as to how you got here...

I have written several essays about Billy as an abuse survivor based on the show and the book that take into account a lot of nuance. I am not ever nor will I ever imply that "power dynamics" are simple. I have an entire #ACEs tag that goes into detail about Billy's adverse childhood experiences, and how important it is to understand his behavior in the context of the show as he is still being actively abused up until his death.

This notion that Billy Hargrove wasn't "a good person" does nothing to capture the complexity of his situation. Case in point: what often happens is that people make the case that Billy is constantly exerting power over Max, especially suggesting that this is Billy being just like his father. All nuance to this situation is thrown out the window in favor of making Billy out to be more powerful than he is and more involved in Max's life than he wants to be. I just also have to iterate that Billy was a teenager with no support system, and referring to him as "not a good person" is damning in a way that does not help abuse survivors. It's more important to say that he was a person surviving abuse and he needed help.

Billy drives Max around because his parents make him. Billy "babysits" Max because his parents make him. Most importantly, Billy watches what Max does because his parents make him... and you could say that it doesn't excuse how he treats Max and I would not disagree with you, but the idea that this gives Billy power is absurd when Billy is also punished canonically any time Max does something Neil does not like. This makes Billy hypervigilant and drives a wedge between Billy and Max.

Instead of putting that accountability back on the parents for forcing this onto their children, we are stuck with the same takes over and over - Billy is just like his abusive dad and Billy is not a good person. It fails to recognize context - Neil beats his son because Max runs off despite Neil and Susan being hours late. In the book Runaway Max, Neil nearly beats him unconscious especially after Max tries to intervene while her mother Susan pretends it is not happening. Despite all the claims that Billy is constantly looming over Max's shoulder, Billy insists Max doesn't need to be babysat. He is paranoid about who she's hanging out with, but he doesn't go after her unless Neil forces him too. The reality is also that after Max stands up to Billy, we never see Billy say or do anything hurtful to Max again and we see Max actually care what happens to Billy which suggests a shift in their relationship. That wouldn't be so if he were willingly perpetuating the cycle of abuse as people insist on saying.

He is hypervigilant. He is angry. He is violent. He is highly reactive to things people would otherwise view as minor stressors. He is set up for failure by a parent who abuses him when he can't keep his sister in line, a sister who is a step sibling who Neil can't touch. There's ample evidence that Neil is using Billy as a proxy to control Max, and it's canon that he regularly abuses Billy when he messes up. This tactic is used by adult abusers to keep the family divided, making it easier to exert control over everyone. Susan who is too timid and concerned that she will be next, never intervenes. You cannot claim that Billy or any other child in this situation has as much power as you are claiming they have or that they are just like their abuser or that they are perpetuating the cycle of abuse when their abuser is orchestrating this dynamic and the abused child does not have the agency nor the coping skills to make rational decisions in such a household where they are constantly under threat of violence.

I say again, referring to Billy as not a good person like that statement isn't informed by biases and a lack of perspective, especially given he needed help and did not get it and he actually died tragically because of it, has done fuck all for survivors. Then oversimplifying his actions to make him out to be a patriarch in training, giving him more power in the narrative than he actually had, and basically feeding into the very problem I identified above while claiming that I am implying a lack of nuance or complexity... That's frustrating.

Having to expend all of this effort into explaining things that clearly you haven't put as much thought into as I have re: this story specifically is frustrating. If you don't have the full context of what I am talking about and you haven't dedicated as much time as I have analyzing this story... Why comment at all?

The idea that abuse survivors will turn out just like their abusers and the “cycle of abuse” rhetoric fans use around Billy are based on this misconception that abusers are created by abuse and it’s an abusers job to break that cycle by confronting that trauma and apologize for life for how they acted in response to that trauma. This approach doesn’t help survivors heal or address maladaptive coping mechanisms btw. Comparing survivors to their abuser is and always will be terrible.

But aside from this. The idea that abusers are all survivors turned bad? Umm… that is very much not the case with many abusers. Abusers are shaped by a society that enables them to continue abusing people. They abuse people because it gives them power and control over others. Abusers aren’t necessarily abuse survivors themselves. Often they grew up privileged and entitled in some way and in order to break cycles, we have to dismantle the institutions that support systematic abuse.

[t-o-m-hollands]

Summary: It’s the late summer of 2004. You are set to travel across the country for university and your best friend Tom is staying behind. You spend your last night together before you leave. 

Themes: Friends to lovers, love confessions, first love. 

Warnings: Drinking beer. One mention of smoking weed. Mentions of parents fighting and also implied neglectful parents. Smut (+18), two spanks?? otherwise pretty tame.  

Word count: 3,4 k

Notes: I don’t know, this might be a bit different? Or it might just feel that way to me. It’s very reminiscent of teenage years and first love and nostalgia. Please let me know your thoughts, I’m genuinely not sure what to think about this one. 

Massive thank you to @augustholland​ who read through it and very kindly reassured me that it wasn’t bad 💖

Also, this fic was inspired by the Phoebe Bridgers song. I’ve never actually listened to it but it keeps showing up in my recommendation and i like the title of it so this is what i imagine that song is about. Mostly I listened to Harry Styles - Fine Line while writing this.

You finish up early that afternoon. Wayne, your old boss, tries not to cry as he hugs you goodbye. He tells you to take care in a gravelly voice close to breaking, as he avoids looking at you. It’s your last shift in the greasy bar, where for the last two years you’ve been selling cheap beer and watered down whiskey to weary old men and rowdy students who come in for a game of pool. It hasn’t paid much, just a few pounds an hour; just enough so that on each thursday you and Tom have enough money for movie tickets at the local cinema. It’s your tradition. Like a religious man goes to church each sunday; you spend your thursday nights with Tom’s arm slung around your shoulders, watching whatever new film they have on, sharing a bowl of popcorn between you. Afterwards you'll have burgers at the fast food joint across the street; talking about the movie long into the night, sharing a bag of fries. 

When you were younger and hadn’t been able to afford to pay Tom had sneaked you both into the cinema anyway.  Your hand in his, he had led the way into the movie theatre when no one was looking. Sitting in the back row he’d sneak you Fruit Polos to snack on, his arm slung around your shoulders, as you watched movies you were way too young for.

Last week was your final movie screening; some light-hearted American comedy, and the entire way through it you fought the lump in your throat, forcing yourself not to cry. Tom hadn’t laughed either; had just held you closer than usual. 

Tomorrow you are set to leave the small seaside town behind you, the place where you have spent most of your life, for a drive all across the country; to start university in a city you’ve only visited once before. You’re not sure when you’ll return.

Thus lately everything has been laced with goodbyes; childhood having reached its end.

Just two days ago there had been the last bonfire where you had watched the Holland boys fight each other while playing football as his parents looked on and laughed, grilling sausages over the open fire. 

It was on the same rocky beach where you have spent many summer days; grilling food on the open fire and throwing back cheap beer with your friends from school. You have scraped your knees on these rocks, burned your skin from both the bonfire and the sun there; have had your heart broken over and over and over again during your school years as you watched Tom kiss whatever girl he was dating at the time by the fire during summer night parties.

Maybe you had broken his heart a few times as well. 

As the afternoon light turns everything golden you drive through the main street in the small town where  everyone knows everybody, and has done for generations. You watch the people as you drive them by. You know everyone’s name, know each crack in the pavement; can find your way home in the dark. 

God knows how many shoes you’ve worn out over the years walking down these streets. 

The radio plays a blink-182 song you know by heart as you follow the road out of the city, through the woods and up to the coast. At the end of a muddy track, on the border to the forest, stands a shabby old caravan. It faces the beach and above the door christmas lights are lit up all year round. 

The Holland family legend says that Tom’s great uncle had won the small patch of land in a bet. Unable to build a large house he had bought a caravan and put it on the lot. The old man had lived in the Shed for the rest of his lifetime, before passing it on to Tom; the youngster of the family, his younger brothers having yet to be born. When he had turned seventeen he moved out of his parents larger, more comfortable house, and into the Shed. His mother had agreed on it on the condition he took on the apprenticeship to become a carpenter that he had been offered. 

You remember when he had told you of his decided future, one late evening as you sat on the driftwood by the beach, smoking weed and watching the sun set over the horizon. It had felt right somehow, you had been able to  imagine him working with his hands, skillfully forming and bending wood to his will; his long and slender fingers knowing just how to fix things. Tom has always been good at mending things. It had been three years now and he was a full time employee at the JBT Carpentry Services. He says it doesn’t pay much, but he’s happy; and that's all that matters.

As you park the car outside the Shed Tom comes out. Standing under the colorful christmas lights he grins widely as he sees you, his eyes crinkling at the sides. The most genuine smile you know. He’s tanned from a summer spent on the beach, his hair a wavy mess; as if he’d just woken up from sleep. It’s a warm august day and the world seems sunbleached somehow; but in the afternoon light Tom looks golden. 

You are painfully aware that it is the last time you’ll see him like this for many months to come.

Walking up to him and he gives you a bear-hug; his warm, hard body pressed against yours, holding onto you tightly. With your face in the crook of his neck you breathe him in and discover that a faint trace of bonfire smoke still lingers on his skin. It all feels achingly familiar and safe. So heartrendingly unlike the uncertain life at university that lies in front of you.

Tom is your safe place.

Your parents had always fought like cat and dog and sometimes when you were younger and  they’d argue you’d climb through your window and walk all the way over to the Holland household. You were always welcomed there and his parents didn’t ask any questions, no matter how late the hour; instead they fed you, treating you like a member of the family around the dining table with gentle teasing and reminders of homework that needed to be done, letting you sleep over when needed. No questions asked. 

With the years the fighting at home got worse. When Tom fixed himself a beat-up old Land Rover and moved out to the Shed you’d call him from the payphone down the road. He’d always answer, telling you to pack up; and that he was on his way. He’d pick you up by the end of the street, a duffle bag with schoolbooks and a change of clothes slung over your shoulder. He’d take you back to his place to sleep. His caravan only had one bed, so you used to curl up next to each other in bed. On the nights when you were crying he’d hold you, and in the morning he’d make you breakfast before you both went off to school. 

Your parents never noticed your temporary absence. 

Tom lets go of the hug, but with an arm around your waist he leads you into his home. There’s a lingering scent of fried food in the air and the boombox is playing the 3 Doors down CD he’s been obsessed with since you bought it for his birthday. You tread the cherry wood veneered flooring with your battered tennis shoes, feeling more at home here than anywhere else on earth.

 “Fancy a beer?” Tom asks, leading the way to the kitchen area. “Warn you though, it's warm. Just got back from the store so they haven’t had time to cool”.

Everything is warm today, and the caravan is no exception. The ancient AC had given in years ago and Tom could never afford having it fixed. You heave yourself up on the countertop, replying a simple “sure” to his question. 

He opens a Stella and hands it to you. He isn’t wrong, the beer is tepid. Yet you drown half the bottle in one big swig; happy just to have something to do with your hands when he’s standing so close to you. Gulping down on the liquid and you cannot help but notice Tom’s eyes on your throat as you swallow. He opens a bottle for himself and takes a swig. 

You smile at the ancient gray t-shirt he’s wearing. At one point there had been a band logo on it, but it has long since been washed out. He notices you smiling at him and as if it's infectious a smile broadens on his face as well. “What?” he asks, leaning against the small counter across from you.

“Nothing” you say, smiling wider. “Just wondered how many times I’ve seen you in that shirt. I mean, it has to be near a couple of thousand times by now”.

“You don't exactly love buying new clothes either” he says, a teasing smile playing at his lips as he looks at your washed out jeans shorts. “I know for a fact that those aren’t new, darling”. His eyes linger on your legs for a moment too long before he looks away, taking a swig from his beer. 

“So, when are you leaving?” He asks, and you can tell that he’s trying to sound relaxed, but leaned against the countertop, his arms crossed in front of him, head bowed; holding onto the bottle of Stella he’s nursing with a tight grip. He looks tense and on edge. 

“Tomorrow morning”

He takes a swig from his beer. There’s nothing more to say, not really. Everything that happens now is just aftermath; you might as well have already left. 

“I’m nervous” you admit, biting your lip, trying hard not to et out the tears you’ve been holding in for days now; embarrassed that your voice trembles on the last word. 

His head snaps up to look at you. Pushing off the counter he takes a step forward, placing himself in between your legs. 

“Hey” he says, with a voice a low and gentle as a whisper, his hand cupping your cheek. You look up at him; long dark eyelashes framing his beautiful brown eyes, his thin lips slightly parted and across his nose freckles are spread out, the result from a summer spent in the sun. His calloused hand strokes your cheek. “You’re going to take them by storm, Pebbles”.

You smile, despite your fluttering heart. He hasn’t called you Pebbles for a long time. It had been his nickname for you when you first became friends, the reason behind it long forgotten. He was the only one to ever call you it, and the name had lingered long into your late teenage years. 

“You took me by storm,” he admits. 

You blink up at him through wet eyelashes. Your family had moved to the town when you were ten years old. This was the kind of small town that strangers seldom came to and inhabitants rarely left; and so the new addition to the small local school had everyone talking. You had felt like an astronaut shuffled into space on your first day, trying to find gravity in the unfamiliar school corridors. You had felt the pull of gravity in form of the brown-eyed boy sitting next to you in english class. He had given you a warm smile as you sat down next to him. He had made you his friend, listened to you and confided in you; had made you laugh until your stomach ached. You found further gravity in his home; surrounded by his family and their endless squabbles and laughter, sitting next to Tom at the dinner table.

It hadn’t taken long before you and Tom were an inseparable item; your names always linked to one another in the mouths of others. 

“You’ve worked so hard for this scholarship” he says, and the corners of his mouth tugs up into a smile, “I mean, I’m pretty certain you’re the only reason I even finished school”.

You had helped him write most of his essays at school. He’d struggled with reading a lot and found the assigned novels difficult. There were evenings where you’d spend hours laying on the bed; twisting the phone cord between your fingers, as you read the books out loud for him. 

Sometimes, in order to be left alone from his parents and younger brothers, he’d walk down to the end of the street and to the payphone there, where he’d spend all his pennies listening to you reading. You had talked and talked until your voice got hoarse; until he ran out of pennies. Yet when he hung up you always felt a tug of longing in your chest, knowing you wouldn’t be able to see him until the next day in school. 

“Well,  I heard you’re doing pretty good as a carpenter” you say, smiling up at him. “I always knew you’d be good with your hands”. 

As soon as you’ve said it you can feel your face heat up. You had heard the rumours at school; Tom Holland is a stellar fuck. Once, while you were in the bathroom stall, you had heard a gang of girls discuss it as they reapplied their lipgloss in the mirror. One of them told the story of her one night stand with Tom, how he had made her come several times over with his hands and mouth; how he’d fucked her so long and so good. You had stood in the stall, your heart in your throat; feeling sick to your stomach, but unable to stop listening.

There were girls that reached out to you in school, knowing you were Tom’s closest friend, and asked you in hushed but awed voices if it was true. If he really that good in bed.

He looks you dead in the eye, an unusual seriousness to his warm eyes. He knows what you’re thinking, knows what thoughts have made your cheeks flush with colour. Letting go of your cheek he places his arms on either side of you on the counter; caging you in. 

“There’s never been anyone but you, Pebbles. Not really.” His tone is heavy with meaning and you feel light-headed; both oddly detached from your own body and painfully aware of the closeness of his. Your heart is beating hard in your chest. 

This is a line you’ve never crossed before. 

“I know I’m ruining everything by saying this, but you’re leaving tomorrow and I’ve been walking around with this secret lodged in my chest like a bullet since i was ten years old; I love you, Pebbles. I’ve always have”.

You should speak. You should tell him that you’ve known for a long time how he’s felt. That it’s been evident in the way his eyes keep lingering on your legs, in the way his arm usually finds its way to rest around your waist. In the way he’s always been there for you. You should tell him that you understand why he hasn’t been able to voice his feelings for you; because you haven’t done it either. Too scared of losing him. But your breath has caught in your throat and all you can focus on is those caramel eyes on you, and how hard your heart is beating in your chest.

“I love you too” you say, voice hardly louder than a whisper. You swear there was music coming from the boom box but all you can hear is the blood rushing through your body. 

He kisses you.

He takes your mouth slowly, kissing you thoroughly until you can’t think straight; can’t remember any other kiss than his. Then his lips move over yours with more fervour; more urgency, one hand around your throat and the other tangled in your hair. He kisses you until you're both moaning and gasping for more. 

This is it. You’ve crossed the invisible line between friends and lovers; and there is no return, no going back from here. When you leave tomorrow you will leave knowing what his mouth feels like pressed against your.

You dig your hands into his soft hair, runs them both up his chest, realising that this is what your hands were made for. He lifts you off the counter and you wrap your legs around his waist. He moves you both across the caravan and into the bedroom. It’s baking hot in there and you can already feel sweat forming at the low end of your back. The room, just big enough for a bed to fit, is lit up with sunlight. His bed is a mess of rumpled white sheets and the walls are the same cherry wood colour as the rest of the caravan. 

You kiss and lick his jaw, his neck, his throat; anywhere you can reach you stroke him. You tug at his hair, kiss his soft lips, and nib at his ear. It’s like the gates have been opened, because even though his arm has always been a comforting presence around your waist; and even though you’ve slept in the same bed more times than you can count, his body curled up next to yours, forming himself like a question mark around your body; he’s never been yours to touch before. Not like this.

His breathing is accelerated, his chest rising and falling in rapid speed, and so is yours. There’s a heat to his eyes that tells you he’s just as turned on as you are. You pull at his shirt before he’s even laid you down on the bed; impatiently craving all his warm, suntanned skin pressed against yours. It’s an almost feverish frenzy, and in the back of your mind you know that you should take this slow. You don’t want this to end too soon, because this might be all you get. But the sun hasn’t even set yet and through the old white-washed curtains you helped put up and light shines through, bathing you both sunshine. 

Outside the waves keep crashing against the shore and in the kitchen his boombox keeps playing songs you’ve heard a million times before. It is like it always has been at Tom’s, except that for laying on his sofa and talking he’s removing your clothes; kissing his way down your body. Wet, opened mouth kisses that leave a trail of heat in its wake that have you bucking your hips up for more. His hands are everywhere, exploring your legs. He’s looking at your skin with wide-eyes adoration. With his body in between your wide spread legs he kisses the soft inside of your thighs. 

“So soft” he groans against your skin, “and so sweet”.

You feel overheated and breathless; aching all over from wanting him. Perched up on your elbows you observe him; his dark hair brushing against the low of your stomach as he kisses the tender skin of your hip bone. He bares his teeth and bites the sensitive flesh. 

His hand cups your cunt. You’re wet and aching and as you presses his thumb to your clit, gently but steadily moving up and down, you feel like you’re going to combust. His strokes are soft at first, before speeding up, making you moan wantonly, spreading your legs wider for him.

“Glad you like that,” he says, a satisfied smile spreading on his face. “Do my fingers feel good on you, darling?”

All you can do is moan in response, arching and moving your hips up to meet his hand. His movements are fast and slippery and it doesn’t take long until your close, so close, so close; on the brink of tipping over and then - 

A sharp slap on your pussy, leaving a stinging bite, and it is like the world splits into two. 

“God” you moan, voice hoarse. You’re shuddering all over; moanes falling freely from your lips. 

He looks up at you from his position in between your legs, his dark eyes sparkling. He kisses the soft inside of your thighs again. “You have any idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you here?” he asks. “I bet you do, torturing me for fun in those short jeans shorts”. He spanks your pussy again and you couldn’t have stopped the moan falling from your lips even if you tried. “How long I’ve wanted to taste you here?”. And he places a hot kiss on your wet slit. You can feel his soft hair pressed against your thighs; his warm breath against your skin.

His lips part and he covers you with his mouth, his tongue moving over your opening; touching you, stroking you, tasting you. A guttural moan leaves him. He looks up at you through tassels of hair, caramel eyes glued to your face.

You fall back against the mattress, “more” you demand, in a voice that sounds a lot like begging. “Please, more”.

It is as if he’s been unleashed. You have never felt anything like it, but he laps you up, tastes you; his fingers moving inside you; pressing against the place that has you seeing stars. You can’t even look at him now, you’re eyes shut; too overwhelmed by the stimulation. Both aching for more but not sure if your body can handle that kind of pleasure. Your thighs are shaking, and something in your stomach grows tighter and tighter by each flick of his tongue against your clit.

“I’m coming” you cry out breathlessly “fuck I’m coming”

And you do. Hard. He keeps kissing and touching you through it; both grounding you and dragging out the intense sensation. 

His hands, now familiar with your thighs, make their way up to the soft swell of your breasts, as you struggle to regain your breath. He’s cupping them in his hands, pinching your nipples in between his fingers, kissing them with ferveor. Hungry hands move over your breasts, your stomach, your face; cupping it so that he can kiss you with the sort of yearning that comes from years of unanswered desire. 

Your hands move over his body as well, moving over his abdomen chest and arms, defined from long hours of hard work. You kiss his throat and collarbones, kissing at the skin; licking, sucking and biting until you hear guttural moans coming from his throat. His lips are slightly parted, and his glossy dark eyes are fixed on your face; his fingers loosely tangled in your hair. 

He presses you down onto the mattress again, until he’s face to face; his arms on each side of your face, holding himself over you.

“You sure?” he asks, voice hoarse, panting slightly. 

“I want this” you answer him, voice low but clear, “I really, really want this Tom”

He smiles, breathing out the breath he’d been holding and moves away from you, reaching for the side of his bed and to take out a condom from the drawer. 

He places a quick kiss to your lips, your cheek, your belly button, before he sits up. He removes his underwear and you can feel your face heat up again. Because this is Tom, your Tom, whom you’ve been in love with for half your life. But being with him, both naked as the day you were born, feels right. You know everything about this man, all his preferences and secrets; his favourite movie and how he likes his food and why he skipped class every day for a month in year nine. And he knows everything about you. It feels right that he should know this as well; know each curve of your body and the way you like to be kissed and what has you moaning and begging for more. 

He unwraps the foil package and puts the condom on with firm fingers. Leaning over you again he lines up against your opening. His eyes glossy with lust, damp hair falling over his face; his mouth swollen and wet from kissing you.

Then with a sharp thrust and a groan he’s inside you. 

All coherent thoughts go out the window as he starts moving in and out of you. The only thing that exists is his strong, sweaty body above you, moving in and out of you with slow, deep thrusts. He’s so hard where you are soft and you can’t stop touching him, dragging your fingers over his back, pulling at his hair, kissing his arms. It’s like the wires in your brain have crossed, sending out sparks of pure pleasure in your body. 

He hits a particularly tender spot inside you and the groan that leaves you is almost animalistic.

Tom nearly halters in his pace, before collecting himself again. “Fuck” he moans out, kissing your neck. His movements become more frenzied and you roll your hips under him, meeting his movements; trying to get him deeper inside you. 

He pushes himself up onto his hands, pulls back slightly; and pushes in. Starting to really fuck you. 

You can’t stop looking up at him; naked body damp with sweat, muscles moving as he works; arms flexed and cheeks flushed. His eyes are closed pleasure now. Your hands are on his hips helping him set the pace as he fucks into you with fast, hard thrusts. Without warning you clutch around him in pleasure and he groans loudly.

“How the fuck does your cunt feel better than it tastes?” he asks, panting for air. “

He presses a hand over your heart, letting it rest there. You wonder if he can feel it pounding for him. You feel like you’re dissolving into a thousand tiny pieces as you come around him with a choked scream. 

He’s so close and you can practically feel it; aching for him to have it. You want him to come; in you, on you, over you. 

And then he does, his brows furrows; like the pleasure is so intense it hurts him. The sounds he makes when he comes are guttural; almost whimpering. 

As he falls down on the bed beside you he pulls you close, has you pressed against his body, an arm firmly wrapped around you. The sun has set now, but the ocean waves still crash onto the shore, the sound of it the only thing to fill the silence part from your laboured breathing; the music having gone quiet in the other room. 

Neither one of you say anything. You knew the end to this when he kissed you. You’ve regretted nothing that has happened here, and you know that he doesn’t either; but tomorrow you are leaving to drive all the way across the country and he cannot follow. You don’t know what will happen now, and he doesn't have the answer to that either. And so you just let him hold you; wishing with all your might that you could stop the morning from coming.

***

Please let me know your thoughts, genuinely don’t know what to make of this one. 

[azucanela]

HOLDING YOUR DRINK [GENDER NEUTRAL HEADCANNONS]

FT. AKAASHI KEIJI, IWAIZUMI HAJIME, SUGAWARA KOUSHI, TSUKISHIMA KEI

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST | 1K CELEBRATION MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: In which Y/N needs someone to hold their drink. 

WORD COUNT: 1.9k

WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, mild violence, based on the tik tok trend, one curse word, nothing explicitly mentioned but be weary of the implications of drug use and such [lmk if there are any others i should include]

A/N: this is tik tok’s fault but yeah kjashdkjash

AKAASHI KEIJI

HEADCANNONS

ah. sweet, sweet, pretty boy akaashi

always pretty, but sweet? haha... thats about to change.

this is probably bokuto’s fault, akaashi feels the need to supervise him though, especially after that one time he left him unattended at a party and he jumped off the roof into the pool and nearly drowned because he forgot he could swim

yeah.

akaashi isn’t one for pda aside from the basic stuff like hand holding and maybe the occasional kiss on the cheek and he knows you are perfectly independent and thats all good and dandy, but even when hes being social and talking to his friends he still has one eye on you and one eye on bokuto

when you finally make your way over to him, asking him to hold your drink while you use the restroom, he simply nods to you, takes your drink in one hand, and covers it with the other, nonchalantly.

to say that akaashi, your boyfriend, is shocked when a random person comes up to him claiming to be your boyfriend comes up to him and asking for your drink, would be an understatement

almost instantly he calls out, “bokuto.” his voice is loud and firm enough that bokuto is looking in his direction almost instantly, ceasing his dancing on top of a table. when akaashi waves him over, he gives him a look of confusion but ends up coming over to where akaashi and this stranger is

and he enters the conversation hearing the stranger say, “im their boyfriend and they asked me to get their drink now hand it over.”

bokuto, naturally, is confused goes to say, “wait i thought y/n was—”

“bokuto.” akaashi silences him with a look, extending the hand with your drink to bokuto, much to the chagrin of the stranger and only serving to further confuse bokuto, though he accepts the drink nonetheless.

akaashi wordlessly takes bokutos freehand and places it on top of the drink to cover the top, before turning to the guy, who had started complaining

and then punching him in the face

never in his life could bokuto recall a time in which he was scared of akaashi

until now

akaashi turns back around to bokuto, taking your drink from his hand and shielding it once more, as though he DIDN’T just resort to violence. 

you’ll never know this happened until one day someone talks about how akaashi is the calmest and kindest person ever and bokuto is like HA REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU PUNCHED THAT GUY CLAIMING TO BE Y/N’S BOYFRIEND IN THE FACE?

gosh darn bokuto that was supposed to be a SECRET you SNITCH

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

HEADCANNONS

HASDHJGAD

THESE PPL GOTTA BE DUMB TO EVEN TRY LMAO

oikawa probably dragged iwaizumi to another party or something and iwa-chan over here was like bruh there is no way in hell that i am the only person that is going to be sober while dealing with a DRUNK oikawa, thats too much to handle alone

so if oikawa doesn’t make you go, then iwaizumi will, for his sanity please agree to go. he’d never force you but PLEASE, he can’t do this alone.

honestly iwaizumi is the perfect person to hold your drink ngl, he’s definitely sober at whatever party he does to, not the type to drink your drink on accident or on purpose, our boy iwa is perfect per usual

you probably tell him you gotta use the bathroom and ask him to hold you’re drink and he’s like, “yeah, of course. take your time, i got it.” and then you leave, he is now standing alone, leaning against a wall. he’s holding your drink, with his palm covering the top while scrolling through his phone with his freehand AND watching oikawa to ensure he doesn’t accidentally decapitate himself because iwa MULTITASKS

a few people probably try to hit on him and he’s like no <3 im in a committed relationship have a nice day <3 

and then some random guy approaches

now iwaizumi is a very intimidating person so im shocked this person had the BALLS to even try but they start spewing nonsense about how you told them to come retrieve you drink from him 

at some point the guy probably implies that you’ll be going home with him and thats when iwaizumi sees oikawa passing by, releasing a laugh before calling out for Oikawa, “hey! shittykawa come here!”

oikawa is pouting but he comes over and sees the guy and is like, “oh whos this iwa chan?

and iwaizumi is laughing again as he gestures to the guy and goes, “apparently the guy whos taking y/n home.”

and then he goes, “do me a favor and hold this oikawa.” and oikawa is handed your drink, something that raises questions in him because why iwa chan?

he doesn’t have time to ask of course, because iwaizumi has already rammed his fist into the stranger’s face, effectively knocking him into the floor. ah the power of the ace of aoba johsai :)

he definitely would’ve kept going, threatening the guy as he wrecked his face until the message got through his thick skull, had you not arrived and witnessed the mans bloody nose, stopping iwaizumi from continuing

“he’s not worth it.”

“no, he’s not. but you are.”

i am in love with iwaizumi lol

anywho

you’re drink is very safe with the one and only iwaizumi hajime. 

SUGAWARA KOUSHI

HEADCANNONS

IM CANT BREATHE THIS MANS

y’all are visiting home since you’ve been off at uni for quite some time now, the gang is back together, daichi, asahi, kiyoko and a few others y’all met through volleyball in high school

you and suga have probably been in a relationship since you left high school, because it took y’all three years to figure yourselves out. its basically just reminding each other to ya know... take care of yourself mentally and physically

and of course, now that you’re all of age, you go to a club, maybe a college party that a friend of a friend is having

regardless, suga is always going to have an eye on you, he’s gonna know your exact location at all times. though he isn’t going to follow you around or anything, everyone once in a while he’ll drop by, hand on the small of your back while you talk to some old friends—or new ones idk maybe you’re an extrovert. he’s checking on you though! he asks if you’ve eaten, have you been drinking water, is there anything you need, are you feeing okay?

then he’ll press a kiss to your cheek and leave to go hang out with daichi and suga, they’re all just sitting on the couch, maybe with some new friends too, maybe with old ones from his karasuno days 

you come over, all like, “babe would you mind holding my drink while i go to the bathroom?”

he’s like yes ofc ofc, and he takes your drink, probably sits with his elbow resting on his knee, holding the drink between his legs with his other hand over the top of the drink. he’s pretty subtle about it, you wouldn’t notice as he just nonchalantly takes the drink from you and carries on the conversation that there’s a small furrow in his brow because why is the world like this, you shouldn’t need someone to hold your drink

everyone would honestly forget the drink isn’t his

now if someone happened to come over claiming to be your friend or maybe even a potential hook up— something sugawara would laugh at as your boyfriend, probably pretending to be intrigued by the idea before revealing who he is — well let me just say... 

a lot of people forget that out lovely mom friend and resident king, sugawara koushi, is also so very very very chaotic person.

which is why i KNOW when you hand sugawara that drink, if anyone even TRIES to take it from him, to ask him for it claiming you sent them, he will bark. suga WILL bark, he learnt how to just for this situation. he will also hiss. 

moral of the story: i trust sugawara koushi with my drink

TSUKISHIMA KEI 

HEADCANNONS

rip to whoever thought TRYING was a good idea

anywho

tsukishima did not want to go to this party, you probably dragged him to said party, and he only went because its you that dragged him to the party. 

he’s probably vibing alone in a corner or something, maybe engaging in conversation on occasion if someone he tolerates happens to be at the party, otherwise he’s stuck to you like glue, just following you around, arm over your shoulder, shameless pda as he wraps his arms around you and lays his head in the crook of your neck as you talk to your friends

then you’re like lmao babe free me i need to use the bathroom, also watch my drink, and he’s like okay FINE be that, and he takes your drink and watches as you make your way through the crowd of people

he’ll probably wait by the bathroom for your return because ew people he doesn’t want to have to socialize— especially not alone. and if anyone tries to socialize, hit on him, anything, he’s really just gonna straight up make it clear that he is not in the mood

it doesn’t really occur to him to cover the drink until some random person comes up to him

claiming to be a friend of yours and having come to collect your drink for you

there are several issues here, first of all, tsukishima was fairly sure he knew all your friends and he did not recognize this stranger at all, and he was pretty sure if he asked their name he wouldn’t recognize that either

secondly, tsukishima knows you would’ve come to get not only your drink but him because he made it very clear that if you abandon him at the party to fend for his own he would be rather unhappy

so when tsukishima questions the person some more and realizes his suspicions are correct, they are in fact; a liar. he laughs. he genuinely laughs because wow YOU THOUGHT you could fool him?

idiot.

he’s covering your drink with his palm— because he isn’t going to set it down? that’s just plain dumb, and tsukishima isn’t dumb. no, he’s covering it with his palm, and then using his free hand to grab this stranger by the neck and slam them into the wall he had just been leaning on because he needs to make it very clear that lmao this is NOT okay :D

this guys feet almost lift off the ground but tsukishima probably towers over the stranger because he’s a tall guy, and suddenly he’s threatening them, telling them that if they ever try something like that again they won’t be leaving the party.

“tsukki?”

hey look its you! 

tsukishima offers the strange one final, warning of a smile, before patting their shoulder awkwardly and stepping away from them to turn to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder before nonchalantly just saying, “lets go. this is lame. oh— and here’s your drink.”

tags:

@therainroguefanfiction​ @beifongsss​[girl idk if you even asked to be here but like now you are bc i forgot akjshdsajkdbs oops] @iwaizoom​ @shawkneecaps​