#also i’m so 100% team ben i’m sorry

[gwendolynnderolo]

i have work in 11 hours and i just started the second season of never have i ever after binging the entire first season in one go. i regret nothing

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

I just finished the first episode of Heartstopper, so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order.

The opening song is cool (will probably look up the shows soundtrack like I did with XO, Kitty).

Why did the camera focus so much on Charlie's bag & Elle's drink? Is it product placement?

Wow, no hate to the actor, but Charlie's eyebrows are THICK!!!!

Tori is beautiful but also kind of looks like a ghost (I think she’d be great for the role of  Violet Baudelaire from A Series Of Unfortunate Events) & why was she so pushy about the "dream guy" thing? Like let the poor boy breathe.

Is Nick's actor that much taller than Charlie's? I hadn't noticed.

I’m sorry, but knees are so weird to me lol. Also obligatory, 🎵 she's a runner she's a track star🎵.

Wait, is that PE teacher that will later interrupt the team theorising about Nick & Charlie's relationship? It's crazy how they’ve found actors who look so much like the characters in the graphic novels (other casting directors should take notes).

Ok fair enough about wanting your team to be good & wondering if the quiet, skinny, nerdy, boy is even into sports but the shit about him being gay is so stupid (bet it was Harry that said that).

Glad Charlie didn't get injured learning rugby, lol.

Nick's shorts seem a lot smaller than Charlie's ones do, but maybe that's the costume designer's way of helping Charlie’s actor look more skinny?

Omg Stephen Fry, what are you doing here lol?

Wow, people weren't kidding. Olivia Colman really did show up just to say one line. What a legend, lol.

Ben, did you really make Charlie walk all that way for such a lame ass kiss? Also, let him talk about his Christmas, you jerk!

I don't think that Form tutor is very good at his job (while Nick thankfully turned out to be nice) it’s usually not a great idea to put the skinny, gay, nerd that has already been bullied with the bigger, popular, seemingly straight, athlete, especially at an all boys school!

Ben, you dick. Like I get wanting to keep your relationship secret, but you did not need to pull the 'who the hell are you!' card. All you had to do was say hi in a confused/uninterested tone (then apologise later). If anything, your reaction came off more weird than what Charlie did.

I'm sorry, but I don't get the leaf animation. I mean, I GET it, just why leaves? Why not flowers or hearts or something? It just doesn’t seem that impactful to me, but maybe they have a deeper meaning that I'm just not grasping yet? If so, please let me know.

Ok, so I'm torn over the gay teacher. Like artistic? That's cool. Those glasses? Cute. Him giving Charlie a safe space to eat lunch? Great. Him being worried over Charlie potentially being bullied again? Awesome (take notes, Form guy), but his advice to Charlie seemed slightly lacking. Obviously, honesty & communication are important in relationships, but I'm a little surprised that possible safety concerns weren't addressed at all, especially from a fellow gay guy. Like I get that he doesn’t know the kind of guy Charlie's "dating" & that just because someone doesn't want to come out yet doesn’t mean they should be labelled as dangerous but internalised homophobia can make some people lash out & after everything Charlie's been through his clearly more likely to be vulnerable to situations like that.

Nick is a golden retriever in human form, they're 100% correct 😊.

Isaac? What happened to Aled? I hope he still shows up. He may be quiet, but he was so cute during Charlie's 15th birthday in the graphic novel.

Interesting to get to see Elle's time at Higg's (fuck that transphobic teacher & whoever was throwing sandwiches at her). Sad she doesn’t have any friends but I'm sure that'll change when she meets Tara & Darcy. Wow, is it strict over there, though, like you can't even be on your phone at lunchtime? Damn! Surprised they did it this way, though, as I was assuming they'd just make Truham co-ed so all the characters could be in the same place.

Tao, my guy, the drink thing is sweet but that hair is.....certainly.....a choice 😅.

The shots of Charlie looking at food, without eating, make me ☹️.

I gotta be honest, the montage of Nick & Charlie saying hi to each other was a little cringy to me compared to how it came across in the graphic novel, but they're meant to be teens, so I'll let it slide. It's also an effective way to highlight how differently Charlie's "boyfriend" treats him compared to an acquaintance.

Ben's hand covering up Nick's smiley face got me like ☹️/😠. They're not even together yet & I already felt like telling him to get off Charlie, like that boy is not for you! It’s ridiculous, lol.

Ben what you did was fucked up but it's hard to be scared of someone who looks so much like a meerkat in a wig (no hate to the actor) also did it seem like he just....skidded away when Nick pulled him off Charlie? Like, was the actor wearing Heelys lol? Or had someone just mopped the floor without telling anyone? Also, it's lame to wear a coat when you're cold? What in the toxic masculinity are you fucking on about Ben?

Omg the bathroom scene was so adorable, but I wanna know what kind of pen Nick was using because being covered in that amount of ink is crazy ��.

Overall, it's very cute. I like Nick & Charlie. It’ll probably take a bit longer for me to really care about the other characters. Ben can catch these hands! And I’m looking forward to watching the Narlie relationship develop.

So while not overly ground breaking (though obviously important for LGBTQ+ rep) it's definitely enjoyable in a comforting sort of way which (considering medias fascination with marginalised suffering) is obviously important for queer youth but also must be quite healing for queer elders. Because you deserve wholesome, cheesy, romance just as much as anyone else.

[lilywave]

so if i were theoretically writing a fullmetal alchemist umbrella academy au. theoretically. definitely haven’t written 1.7k words of pure worldbuilding for it already. which characters would fit which roles.

(i still need someone for five (probably selim) and dave (probably greed) and some way to squeeze in the rest of team mustang (especially fuery my beloved))

(decided roles + reasoning are below the cut)

roy as luther - ok hear me out. the sense of loyalty, the pressure to be the best, the feeling that they have to be the one to lead the charge bc what will they do with themselves if they’re not, do you feel me here?? roy is just more competent. (yes i am a luther apologist. why do you ask)

ed as diego - i wanna make him and roy fight. i think it’ll be fun. and also i think the anger problems and daddy issues line up nicely and i 100% think that ed would end up as a knockoff vigilante batman in a modern au. amputated limbs be damned, my boy can throw a punch /ref (AND it means he’ll get a nice little chaotic romance arc with winry as lila and i won’t break them up bc tua season 4 didn’t exist to me!)

riza as allison - “haha oh it’s so royai can parallel luther and allison” NO. that’s INCEST and that’s GROSS. as much as i love royai, they would be siblings in this universe so there’s no way it would ever happen. no, this is because of the parallel i noticed - both of them had the chance to get out, to save themselves, and both of them ultimately threw themselves back into the fray at their own expense when it came down to protecting the people they considered family. allison was just more reluctant to do it at first. and i found that so interesting. idk there’s thoughts there that i cant express in words

ling as klaus - ok this one i’m not very sure about so if anyone has a better option i’ll take it, but there’s a vision there for sure, especially when we consider lan fan as ben. i think it would be hilarious, and also it would be a cool chance to explore ling’s character which is always something i love to do! also it would mean ed and ling solidarity which i love and it could mean that greed would be dave 👀

lan fan as ben - they could have left. realistically, they probably should have by now. they’re much too rational to still be around these people. but despite that, they’re still around to protect the person she loves (who seems hell-bent on putting themselves in grave danger whenever they turns their back). now am i talking about ben or lan fan.

al as viktor - i’m sorry i don’t wanna put al through all that either but i wanna see him snap. like absolutely lose it. go absolutely apeshit. he deserves to. i promise the others will be at least a little nicer to him than the siblings were to viktor in canon.

i dont have extended explanations for these next ones but you can see the vision right??

winry as lila

havoc as hazel

lust as cha cha

fuery as agnes

bradley/wrath as the handler

father as the head of the commission

[pulisicz]

have we been here before? - mason mount

i guess things have come full circle

summary - you and mason used to “date” back in middle school, which then led to a more serious relationship in high school, but due to mason pursuing his football career, you two spilt.

now, years later, you two are reunited.

♡︎

pairing - mason mount x fem!reader

song inspo - n/a

warnings! - none, this is straight fluff

word count - 1.5k

note - i will 100% be making a part 2

-

mason had had a long day. getting back into the season had been hard, especially after the heartbreak of what happened at the world cup.

another loss…

it was hard on all of the guys, but that doesn’t mean that they could just be all sad and not give it 110% for their club teams.

it was, however, nice to get back with the team.

mason had missed all of them a lot, but mainly his two best mates, christian and ben.

“i hate to be the one to say this, but there’s always next time. we had a rough fight, but we did well, lads”. harry maguire says as they all get situated in their plane seats.

after the long plane ride, the boys were finally back in england. yes, loosing the world cup sucked, but being back home was nice.

mason’s sister, stacey, and his mom, picked him up from the airport.

“oh my god, stacey, what are you doing here?” mason said, being more shocked than ever.

his sister lives in australia, and after she and her family came to see mason play, she was supposed to go back to australia, at least that was the plan. but stacey had wanted to surprise mason by visiting england for a little.

the car ride home was nice. he got to catch up with his sister, which was much needed. he also got a moment of peace from all of the craziness in his life, which was very refreshing.

mason didn’t have to go back to chelsea training for another week, so he got to rest and do whatever he wanted for a good while. although mason was excited to spend time with his family and friends, the only thing he could think of at the moment was getting into his bed to take a much needed nap.

-

you were almost done with your errands, the only place left to go to was the grocery store. you went over your list to see what you needed and headed into the store, list and pen in hand.

apples

grapes

saltine crackers

lemonade

lettuce

tomato’s

shredded cheese

caesar salad dressing

croutons

granola bars

you didn’t need much so it shouldn’t be a long trip.

you were almost finished with your list, only a couple items left when you realized you needed to grab more bread.

you are carefully going over your list and assessing what you had already gotten as you turn to the bread aisle, not paying attention to your surroundings. you collide with someone else’s cart, which shake you from your focus.

“oh shit, i’m sorry! i wasn’t looking where i was go-ing…. mason?”

you stand there, unable to think, but trying to think at the same time.

what is he doing here?

“what are you doing here?” you ask, as if it’s not the most obvious answer. he’s obviously getting groceries.

“i’m getting groceries, and you?”

your mind is racing. it had been 5 years since you last saw him. 5 years since the two of you were dating. 5 years since you were your happiest self.

“doing the same. um. how have you been?”

you really had no idea what to say. for someone you used to know so well, you’re acting as if this is your first time meeting.

“i’ve been good. i just back into town today and wanted to run out to get some things. nothing much though. what about you? are you still into photography?”

photography… he remembered

“yes i am! i’m actually studying photography at oxford, along with english. it’s been a really cool experience. — and what do you mean by not much, didn’t you just get back from the world cup? that’s insane mason! you did amazing!”

“thank you. i tried”

-

mason couldn’t believe he ran into y/n. all the memories flooded him.

she still studies photography…

mason remembered everything about her. he remembered how she always wanted to be an author, but had the biggest passion for photography. he remembered how oxford was the only school she wanted to go to. he remembered that she had started writing a book their senior year.

her book.

“did you end up finishing your book?” mason asked remembering about her book.

the book was something y/n had put all her time into. she was not passionate about writing it, and mason was ecstatic for her, but she was still in the very early stages of it when they had broken up, so he never got to see it really come together.

“my book?” y/n seemed puzzled. did she forget about it? did she finish it? does she have no idea what i’m talking about? masons mind started wandering. was it weird that i asked?

y/n stood there think for a few more seconds before her eyes lit up.

“YOU REMEMBER?!”

“how could i forget? you poured your entire heart into that book. i never got to see it come together. did you end up finishing it?”

y/n’s smile faded just a little.

“sadly not. i had to put it on the back burner to focus on my studies, and even now i only work on it from time to time. i still want to finish it though.”

this made mason smile a little. hearing that she was still working on her book made him happy. it was like nothing had changed. y/n was still y/n. the only thing is, is that mason is now a world famous footballer, and y/n is a student at oxford.

“i hate to break this reunion up, but i have to finish my grocery shopping and get back to my dorm. my roommate is going to kill me if i’m not home soon. it was so nice to see you mason”.

no.

no.

mason couldn’t just let her leave like he did to her 5 years ago.

“y/n?”

y/n turned back around before leaving the asile.

“can i get your number? i have gotten a new number since senior year and i really want to get together with you some time”.

y/n walked over to mason and he gave her his phone so she could put in her number.

“i’ll see you later, mason”. y/n said, putting a little emphasis on his name.

the second y/n walked out of the aisle, mason did a little celebration dance before composing himself to finish shopping.

—————————————————————————

“would you want to go to the 49 cafe for brunch tomorrow?”

mason had typed and retyped his text about 5 times. why was he so nervous? is just a date. it’s not even a proper date, it’s just brunch, nothing fancy.

delivered.

-

you were at your desk studying for your upcoming exam in your psych class when your phone lit up.

mason was the name on your screen and your heart skipped a beat. you had hoped he would text sooner than later, but certainly not this early, although you weren’t complaining.

as you read the text you couldn’t help but blush. you pull your knees up on the chair to lean your chin on as you text mason back.

“i would love to! what time?”

you saw the three dots show up almost immediately, which only made you blush more.

“does someone finally have a little boyfriend?” your roommate, emily, asks in a giddy, yet, sarcastic tone. emily has always pushed you to go out more, but being the introvert you were, chose to stay home writing, studying, or editing photos from your photo shoots.

“hmm? oh, no. i just saw a funny video”.

lies.

you had never ever lied to emily, but you couldn’t tell her that you were going on a date with mason mount.

“you’re lying, i know you too well”.

emily hops off her bed and makes her way towards you. you knew you were a bad lier, but no matter how good the lie was, emily would always see right through you.

“so, what’s his name?”

“mason”

emily starts smiling and jumping up and down.

“y/n finally has a boyfriend” emily says in a sing-song type voice while skipping around in a circle like a 5 year old.

“i don’t have a boyfriend, em. it’s just brunch”.

well, i did have a boyfriend.

you hadn’t told emily about mason yet, and you weren’t ever planning on telling her, but being reunited with mason might have to bring you to tell her, but that was a problem for another day.

you look back at your phone to see if mason had texted back the time for tomorrow, and as expected, the blue bubble has appeared.

“11 AM?”

you look at your schedule to make sure you definitely don’t have any classes at that time, and after seeing you have nothing, you text him back.

“works for me”

“perfect. i’ll see you tomorrow, y/n”

[madstheintrovert]

So that scene where Nick comes out to his dad…👉👈 we’re in love with it, right?

More Heartstopper spoilers below…

❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love the adaptation so much.

- The dinner scene where Nick comes out to his dad (*Tori is #1, love her, when she grabs David’s arm and kicks his fucking phone down the stairs)

- ISAAAAAC

- Tara and Darcy post-stuff with Darcy’s mum, also the bathroom scene where Darcy tells Tara they love her

- The passing out at the museum scene

- THE TEACHERS.

- Tao opening up about his Dad

- Nick being worried about Charlie’s eating disorder

- NICK NELSONS MUM JUST BEING THE BEST

- Tao and Elle finally relaxing and just letting things happen between them

- ISAAC AGAIN BC ISAAC (the sneaking into the library to grab the Ace book edition)

- fucking love Imogen and Sahar… anyone else see the way Imogen was looking at Sahar… is our #ally queer…

- Sahar being like bitch I’m bi

- Charlie standing up to Harry and to Ben… also the gay waves at Ben’s feet… I’m 100% team Char but hope Ben figures himself out for the better (sans Char, he doesn’t need to be around for that bullshit - I think that was a really important message like sorry does not undo the hurt, forgiveness is not required)

- Harry being a #ally

- Tao’s mum being the biggest hype for Tao and Elle

- Elle’s new queer friends

- ISAAC AGAIN (the picture at prom edition)

Uh and so much more… I’m just. IM JUST. UGH. LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH

[thedevilrisen]

Oh your so kind!!! Love to hear all about the new AU?!?!?!

So here it goes, my random thoughts for this wet friday night;

I love seeing these clips of Sid interacting with the kids in his hockey school etc. Especially when the children seem to always call him 'Sidney Crosby' using his full name. 🫠 I might have watched one clip a few too many times

I'm loving the looks EK gives his Captain. The man loves him.

Ben Hunt always plays good for QLD but yet sucks hard when he plays for my club team the Dragons. Who I am scared may be battling the tigers for the spoon

Why doesn't McDonalds mcflurry the ice cream anymore? This M&M mcflurry is disappointing and shoulda gotten a sundae.

I want to believe Nova has some habits that drive Sid absolutely crazy. Makeup scattered over the bathroom counter, shoes never in their place in her room or near the door. They are always left until the dinner table. If she borrows his car she doesn't turn down the music when she gets out so when he goes to turn on the engine he's blasted with some loud tune.

Last Nova thought I had from earlier in the week, Sid spying a nice little mark on her neck/collarbone area left by her pretty boy friend Luke 👀

Okay that might be it. Probs not because I'm a chatterbox. Sorry its alot just blurting all that out. Don't have to reply to this word vomit.

Please share your random thoughts 💛

ps. You survived the week of exams etc. That's a huge achievement. You should be so proud. Now hopefully you can relax and have a stress free night hopefully

-🐨

EK wants some of that. Bet he wants to squish Sid’s little giggling face. 🫣

Would it be wrong of me to say he ha a purpose to play for in QLD 😂. Also, Billy Slater as a coach is pretty great, I was listening to a podcast on him and it’s so interesting!

They are flat chat getting the fucking machine working as is! Anything with casein in it makes me so sick so I stay away from all that dairy stuff! KFC and Red Rooster are better.

I bet you she does. When she crochets, random bits of wool left lying around. Shoes next to the shoe rack instead of on it. When she unloads the dishwasher putting the forks in the knife section of the drawer. He 100% got in the car one day and the chorus of beautiful things was playing and his ears died.

She is wearing Luke’s shirt too, and it’s to large in the neck and all he sees is this purple mark and he basically tackles her to get a closer look and gives her the most ‘you let him do this, I’m going to kill him’ look.

Please, talk all you want I love it! Honestly my thoughts, I have a few.

Scottlin plays the electric guitar which annoys the crap out of most but Luke loves it and so does Connor. Connor makes sure to go to all her bands gigs!

Nova is big into pranks, because of Flower. So when she gets a text from him saying ‘$400 if you take the wheels of your dads car’ she just obviously says yes!

what else you got for me tonight! 🖤💛

[capitalisticveins]

Unempowered Boys Headcanons (Ft Vega, Wampus, Aggro, and Cutie)

Took a bit longer than I thought but I’m still happy with how it turned out

Also I have like 1 personal headcanon that might be based on gender? If you look at it that way? I didn’t want to include it but I did so, sorry if it makes you uncomfortable

PS: Erik refers to Ollie’s listener as “Babe” in March Redactedness, so I did that here too. They’re not to be confused with “Baaabe” (Asher’s listener)

- Guy puts milk before cereal solely to piss off Honey

- Ollie and Babe have matching cat pajamas

- Geordi was a short distance runner for his high school track team. He quit after 3 weeks

- Flyboi! Baby tried to reconnect with Ivan when he was still influenced by Vega, but couldn’t find anything about him online. His number was gone, and so was all of his social media..

- Aaron worked at Walmart for 1 year before quitting on the spot without a 2-week notice

- Geordi was invited to a party in his high school year by Ben. He thinks of it as “one of the most depressing parties I’ve ever been to” in his words

- Ollie would vent to Wampus about his crush on Babe for 2 years before confessing. Wampus was asleep whenever this happened

- Honey was an honor roll student and a part of the college varsity team.

- Guy worked at Max’s Rustic Pizza to afford his tuition, with added bonus money from his parents whenever his paychecks weren’t enough

- Geordi’s only gone to 4 parties, 2 of which were birthday parties in elementary school

- Smartass used to pretend something smelled bad whenever Aaron walked past their cubicle, nothing pissed him off more than when they did that

- Ivan plays Stardew Valley

- Either Geordi and Cutie are the same height, or Cutie is taller by 2+ inches

- Wampus leaves the house through the window whenever neither Babe nor Ollie are home, and gets into another couple’s house and loafs with their cat, or fight them, it’s never clear

- Flyboi! Baby only plays Minecraft on peaceful mode and on 24 hour daylight. It’s too intense to play any other way

- When Cutie first told Geordi they were a telepath, he would put an aluminum foil on his head for a week whenever he wanted 100% privacy. Cutie found it adorable for the wrong reason

- Smartass forgot some stuff on their desk when they quit (a plant, some pictures, post-its, etc), Aaron keeps them on his desk.

- Honey would tutor other students whenever they could.

- Geordi hates FNAF

- Ivan starts getting headaches whenever he sees something about Vesta Distribution online, but he doesn’t know what’s causing it

- Sadism’s Hold! Baby works in Smartass’ old position at Vesta now

- Guy realized Honey was a tutor, and suddenly started being terrible at his English classes. He was assigned to be tutored by Honey, and started silently upper cutting the air when he was told this

- Ollie played Uno once as a teenager. Never again.

- Smartass would demolish Aaron at Monopoly

- Cutie absolutely ADORES Pitbulls

- Babe has 3 pet hamsters that has continuously tried to kill themselves and each other

- Guy proposed the idea of being roommates a few months before Honey finished their final semester, he was scared that when they graduated, they’d drift apart

- When he still had Sadism’s Hold! Baby in captivity, Ivan would want to see if Flyboi! Baby responded to his voicemail, but Vega’s control on him was too much, and he’d forget

- Aaron was one of those kids that would hold 3 chairs to show off to the class in the 2nd grade

- (Personal headcanon) Cutie did cheerleading in high school

- Sadism’s Hold! Baby would rather die than own a pet, commitment isn’t their strong suit, at all.

- Geordi wears dorky glasses, Cutie sometimes steals them and wears it themselves, and then gets a headache

- Guy and Honey went through 5 roommates before just moving in with each other, they only liked 1, but that one moved out.

Taglist: @frenchiefitzhere

[musclesandhammering]

Supernatural Opinions That’ll Have Me Burned At The Stake Pt 1.

• John Winchester is more sympathetic than Dean.

• Literally every single angel in the series (except maybe Ishim) had 100% justifiable and understandable motives, and none of them were genuinely evil.

• The demons deserved 97% more sympathy than they got (yes, all of them) because they were literally tortured into being the way they are.

• The hunters on the show are the real villains. The supernatural creatures were just existing as they instinctually should have.

• There was absolutely no reason to bring Mary back at all, and they 100% only did it to provide Dean specifically with more personal Angst. Because everything’s about Dean.

• They did Bela so so dirty and there was no reason at all that 432 other boring ass characters got storyline after storyline and resurrection after resurrection when she didn’t even get mentioned post-death #1.

• Anything to do with Ben/Lisa/Dean was legit just the most boring thing I’ve ever seen, like I literally skipped past those parts cause I cared 0% about any of that.

• Claire was cool at first but they put everything into making her a mini-Dean and she ended up being a whiny annoying rude trying-too-hard-to-look-badass mess (surprise surprise).

• Alex was way more likeable and interesting than Claire, she should’ve gotten the lead storyline in that arc.

• The whole Claire/Kaia thing was nice from a representation standpoint I guess but there was zero chemistry and only like 2 scenes of lead-up and the entire time I was just thinking “what in the hell are they supposedly falling in love for, this feels so forced” lmao.

• Metatron was my fav even before his big redemptive scene, I stanned one petty weirdo full-stop all the way through his dicking around with Cas and everything, y’all simply do not have Taste.

• Same with Amara. Loved her even when she wanted to destroy the known universe. Stanned her. Supported her, even. And also she had an incredibly heartbreaking and sympathetic and dynamic storyline, but some of y’all couldn’t see the substance in her cause you were too busy being pissed that she flirted with your trash monster (Dean).

• I’m very sorry, but Charlie was annoying as all shit.

• Not only did Dean abuse Cas, but Dean abused Sam literally throughout the entire show, from the very first scene.

• Speaking of Sam, he’s probably the most caring, kind, empathetic, genuinely good person on the entire show. He’s an actual cinnamon roll, and every single person that holds him even 1% accountable for the leaving for college thing, or the demon blood thing, or the not looking for Dean in purgatory thing… y’all can eat my shorts.

• Cas was better friends with Sam than he ever was with Dean. They have more of a profound bond too. He was ordered to rescue Dean from Hell and had an army of other angels with him, but he chose to rescue Sam and went in completely alone. If that’s not more profound idk what is.

• I like Balthazar better than Gabriel, fight me on it.

• Hannah and Cas were actually hella cute together. And so were Cas and Meg.

• The Winchesters did not deserve Crowley. They also didn’t deserve Rowena.

• Sam and Dean aren’t actually heroes at all tbh because 75% of all the major apocalyptic problems that have happened on the show was literally their fault. And they almost never solved said problems themselves. They coerced supernatural beings into doing it for them.

• I liked the angels way better in season 4, when they were terrifying mythical beings of eldritch proportions that even the demons were scared of. Held more gravity, I think.

• After Bobby was killed off, the whole vibe of the show kinda fell apart. Like the team/family feeling was just never quite there after that, and it sorta killed it for me tbh.

• Chuck being a mega douche wasn’t the mind blowing plot twist they thought it was. Like that was predictable. It would’ve been more meta and more unsettling and more profound if, instead of being a raging narcissist, he had been portrayed as they described him in season 4/5- an actual father/creator that was jaded with his creation. He still could’ve been absent and all, just not a total heartless jerk.

• I didn’t even watch half of seasons 7-8 like wow that was not interesting in the slightest.

• Season 2 was also dull as hell, but it gets bonus points for the gritty midwestern horror aesthetic. 10/10 immaculate vibes.

• Anything past season 10 I just picked out the Cas episodes to watch and I didn’t even really love those :/.

• I don’t like how the storylines started getting too big for their britches around season 11 or so. Like purgatory and heaven and hell and the apocalypse, ok sure. But alternate dimensions? Heavenly extinction? God’s literal sister? Babe you’re just a cute lil country show from the CW go back to drunks killing vampires.

• This whole series actually started being trash less than halfway through, and the only reason it stayed on so long was because die-hard fans were invested enough to subject themselves to mental and emotional torture week after week just to stay loyal to their old favourite show.

[blueathens]

His Voice

Summary: A small collection of Ben sending you voice notes.

Requested - By Many

Masterlist//Main Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

He’s proud of your promotion:

“Well done baby,” would be the first note

Instantly hearing the smile and happiness in his voice as he congrats you on promoting you on your promotion

“We’ll go out for dinner to celebrate,” would be something else he says, promising you that he would and won’t take no for an answer as this is something in need of celebrating

“I’ll congratulate you in bed too.”

You be shocked if he didn’t say something like that

Hearing the smirk in his voice

It be followed by many voice notes on how you can choose on what you wanna do 

Then he go back to being normal and say that you choose the dinner and he’ll be home within an hour to get ready

Then he accidently outs himself of him saying he’s getting you flowers too (he’s in the shops getting you presents to congratulate you)

“Shit!”

Then at the end of a voice note you hear a few words of him rambling on how cute a teddy is before it cuts out - him realising you would hear 

Then lastly it be him saying he’s on his way home and another well done and telling you how proud of you he is

Sending voice notes as he knows his voice calms you:

He could tell you was upset by the short texts you was sending him and how you didn’t want to call

“Baby,” he be instantly softly in the voice note, “what happened?”

Then when he noticed a short answer text of saying nothing

He begins to talk about his day

Cue many pet names to be shared

His voice would also be so soft as well to calm you down

He even throw in some dad jokes 

He’ll tell you of thing that reminded you of him that he saw in his day

He begins to move on about talking about your future as he knew it made both of you happy

“I’m going to marry you one day, I swear.”

“The wedding be massive if you want.”

“I don’t care as long I’ve got you.”

“Kids? As many to fill a football team.”

Then he talks about Oscar

Featuring a voice note from Oscar too

Then he begin to tell you how much he loves you and what you mean to him

“You make me happy.”

Leaving in an argument and him worrying over voice notes:

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” 

Cue another 100 voice notes of him apologising 

“Please come back.”

“I screwed up I know, but I really need to know if you’re okay.”

Him panicking more and sending voice notes to other people if they heard from you

“I’m going to throw a search party to look for you in a minute.”

“Y/n, baby, please, I love you and need to know you’re safe.”

“Are you at your parent’s house?”

Then he be sending a long voice note to your mother saying how much he screwed up and that he needs to make it right but first he needs to know you’re safe

Him being relieved when she says you’re with her

“I’m glad you’re safe.”

“I’m coming over with so many things.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I love you my love.”

Going off to training and sending a morning voice note to you:

“Good morning my love!”

“There’s some coffee in the machine and I got breakfast from the bakery you like so much.”

“I walked Oscar too.”

“I would have woken you up to give you some love before I went but I know you needed you rest and you looked peaceful whilst you slept.”

He even sends a voice note of him just humming casually

“Oscar said he will take care of you.”

And he remembers the talk he has with Oscar every time he’s about to leave you in the house alone

Crouching down and telling him that nothing is allowed to happen to you

As you’re the best thing that has ever happened to him

And some other corny love things

You caught him once that’s why you knew he does this 

“I love you and I’m doing the shopping after training.”

“Message me when you wake up gorgeous.”

Him missing you whilst he’s at home sick and your at work:

“Gorgeous...”

Him being whiny whilst his nose is all blocked up

“I really need your special cuddles right now.”

“It will make me better.”

“Can we have soup...?”

“But can I hold you whilst you make it?”

“I just really need you.” 

He’ll even send you a voice note of him singing with a blocked nose

“I’m all alone-”

“I feel sick but the toilet is too far.”

You’ll get a long voice note of deep snores as he accidently kept his finger on the recording button for to long and until he was deeply asleep did it end

In that voice note that was some mentions of your name and him wishing you was home - all in a sleepy voice 

Being drunk and sending you many voice notes:

“I’m drunk”

Slurred words be spoken

And him speaking very loudly than usual

“My girlfriend is fitter than all of yours!”

That was a voice note you got of him screaming to the people around him

Him telling you he showed pictures of you and Oscar (his little family) to the bartender

The bartender even sent a voice note to you saying your family is very cute

Drunk singing

This would go on for 10 minutes

Then him telling you that he wants to fuck you when he gets home

“Please can we have sex.”

Then you message him saying when you’re sober

“Morning sex is sexy.”

“Want to know what else is sexy?”

“You....and chocolate buttons on crepes...”

“I want crepes now.”

“You think I got crepes in my pockets?”

“What Ninja Turtle do you think I am?”

“Opps...I just fell...for you.”

Many many many cheesy pick up lines

Then he would tell you how beautiful you are and how much he misses you

“I’m going home..I miss you too much.”

Asking if you’re coming over later as he misses you:

The moment you start the first one you knew he was going to be whiny

“Oscar misses you.”

Obviously he says his dog first 

and then you get a very quick voice note of him saying “and me”

“We can get takeaway and watch any movie you want.”

“I just really want you in my arms again.”

He will just list loads of films that you could watch

And how he’ll even quickly run to the shops and get snacks and junk food

Not caring that he shouldn’t be having it

He’ll burn the calories off tomorrow 

He just needs you with him

And food was always a way to your heart

“We’ll make a den.”

“So will you come over?”

When you agree you’ll receive a voice note of him cheering and him promising many kisses and hugs your way

Him being on international break and telling you about his day:

It be like he was sick again

Whiny at times

But he can do proper conversations now

He be talking about his day

And any ideas of what games he be playing

And saying how he can’t wait to see you watching him play soon

Can’t wait to see you in his England shirt

He tells you what him and the guys got up to

“I didn’t eat 27 Weetabix's...Reece lied to you.”

“I kicked a ball at Jack’s head...by accident.”

“Did press ups...all i could imagine was you under me and giving me kisses.”

“Some of the guys are getting more dogs...we should get another.”

Him sending you voice note after winning the UCL thinking you couldn’t make it:

“We won!”

“Yes!”

“Gorgeous we won! Did you watch us from home?”

Him being very obvious to you standing behind him

“We got a medal and a trophy! We won!”

“I really wish you were hear.”

He then starts rambling a thank you for how much you helped him and supporting his dreams but he cuts off mid sentence when he sees you

The voice note will contain him screaming your name 

And your laughs as he picks you up

And him saying he loves you and can’t believe your here

Him talking about a dress he got you:

“I know you don’t like getting expensive gifts.”

“Would much rather food.”

“But this dress is so awesome and you would look hot in it.”

“Not that you don’t look hot in anything else...you’re very hot...I just...I liked this dress and it reminded me of you.”

He would toy up the dress so much that it would need ironing the moment he got home

“Maybe you could wear it for dinner tonight?”

He was so nervous as he talked about the dress

“It’s a blue dress...like the Chelsea blue...a-and it probably goes to your knees?”

“I got the right size...I know you.”

“It has an open back too! It so cool!”

But yet he be so excited on telling you what the dress was like that you could create an image in your head 

Thank You for the suggestions that were given a while back: Anons, @declansmount @benchvlwell @mountswdw @breaduk @benjiisbaebtw @christianpulisbitch @1-800-benji-chilwell @neverinadream @benluvbot @mrschilly

General Taglist (ones I haven’t mentioned): @mountsmason  @itscominghome @footballmusic19 @in-my-body-bag @nooooojimmyprotested @gabzs-things @1-800-benji-chilwell @delmomentrry @maseandkepa @blazingmount @imareallycoolperson @somedaytakethetime

Ben Taglist: @weddingdisco @thiagos-silva​ @chilwell-21​

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

Not Bela looking exactly like mindy in that fit on that picture also so typical mindy for her to have me get my hopes about Whitney n Caanan just for her to seconds later have the black/poc girl end up with or kiss the yt boy it’s so on formula for her,cant even be mad about it

I’m sorry I know I’m supposed to hate Whitney and Andrew bc he’s trash and godawful to her(but he hot pretty tho) be team caanan and I am but but they are so chaotic and funny and I can’t hate hot pretty people liking each other or hooking up! and if all y’all and you parents and everyone wasn’t 100 sure that benvi was endgame I hope you know now that they are 100% the second the new Indian girl got asked out by taller Ben lookalike and Whitney hot nerd guy + her friend saying nerds are hot I just knew that was mindy way of letting the people who can’t accept bevi it know now even tho everyone and their grandma knew that was happening from day1 like it was obvious since ep1 in the first 10m

Not the hot characters having drama with their exes Whitney Bela and Leighton, I’m sorry but I don’t like Alicia or blonde feel like considering how much Leigh goes to willow for anything and everything they seem to have great chemistry sexual tension at times but I know that’ll never happen bc mindy don’t do that with black gay characters just look at NHIE Fab and also my girl willow said she wasn’t her type and I don’t like ship to happen just bc they are 2 gays in friend group or 2 black characters in friend group or show looking at you obx who’s gonna pull a cleo pope even tho I’m shipping that so hard and I’m not even mad about it bc both are so pretty and I believe strongly I’m pretty people dating which is also why I ship HOT willow and Leighton hard

[fireemblems24]

Azure Moon: Chapter 17

I'm an emotional wreck right now.

If you're looking for a coherent review of events - this isn't it. I'm going to need to cry in a corner for a bit first.

Pre Battle:

Oh, right. Now Gilbert and Rodrigue are talking about fog. Did they just forget to make this Fog or War or something? Not that I'm complaining.

Oh, boy, Duscur talk. Poor Rodrigue. He lost a best friend and two sons that day 😭I still hope Felix forgives him. I really don't think Rodrigue did anything wrong.

So I had to look up who Lady Patricia was again, and please, dear God, no. Please tell me Dimitri's step-mother didn't arrange that.

The writers are like - how much trauma can we shove into one character: all of it. Oh, wait, oh wait, let's have his step-mother arrange his brutal death too! Oh, great idea. 😑

HOLY SHIT - DIMITRI ALMOST DIED AT DUSCUR. HE DIDN'T TELL ME THAT. OMG. All this time.

So he spent the whole time talking about how everyone else got hurt and didn't even mention he ALMOST DIED 😭😭😭😭. This character makes my heart hurt.

So are we gonna see Patricia again? Is she part of that evil mage group?? God I hope not.

Oh, no, the messenger to the Alliance got killed. That explains how the game is going to be like - no two lords for you! - even when it makes more sense to team up in AM. Did this happen in VW too? That would explain why Dimitri didn't want to join Claude tbh.

Sounds like a pretty brutal death too. 100% picked it was the Empire. Dimitri's all about it lol.

Oh, "Maiden" Fleche is back.

Good God this feels 100x more epic on AM than VW. I'm honestly starting to feel sorry for Claude. He got done dirty compared to the other two.

And now it's Ferdinand's birthday. Now is not the time, bro.

I'm betting it's the same cut scene? I get to see Dimitri say "Kill every last one of them again" lol.

Edelgard be like - last time we were classmates fighting, this time I'm here to kill all of you and take over your lands.

Battle:

Alright - the battle. Thankfully I have Bernie recruited so no more fires for her, poor thing.

Lysithea and Ignatz are on here though. I'm assuming Claude retreats? Probably not the other two. But I'm trying to stick to the "kill everyone" (or I guess I should say "Kill every last one of them!" lol).

Gotta have Dimitri fight Claude and Edelgard to get that sweet-sweet dialogue.

Dimitri's just going to solo the alliance troops. Batallion Wrath/Vantage/Retribution is one hell of a drug. Just gotta watch out for gambits, but only really worried about Claude tbh.

Claude's range is too big, which is why Dimitri's taking that route. Thematically I'd love to watch him just solo all the Empire troops, but I can't risk Claude flying around if I want that unique battle dialogue.

LAMO - Byleth crit Hubert. Though, interesting note. In VW, Dedue insists he can still fight when he's defeated, and Dimitri tells him to get off the battlefield and live (rudely). Hubert says he needs to retreat, and Edelgard says nothing about his injuries.

Oh, shit, Petra too. Didn't see her there.

And now Leonie and Hilda too. Does Hilda retreat like Hubert and Dedue?

So Leonie, Lysithea, and Ignatz are dead. Hilda, Petra, and Hubert retreated. Hubert really likes to show up, get his ass handed to him, and then retreat. Who do you end up doing this to more, Hubert or the Death Knight?

Guys, I think Dimitri might have an issue with Edelgard. If you let them fight each other in VW, does he say the same thing?

OMG Edelgard philosophizing about death after Dimitri's like - pick a way to die. For some reason this is amusing.

And then he crits. Dimitri likes doing that.

Oh, shocking, she retreats too.

OMG Dimitri was MVP (shocking, I know), but it's so amusing to see "Dimitri's motivation is maxed out" right after criting Edelgard.

Post Battle:

So Dimitri goes to chase after Edelgard, which kills him in VW.

Man he sounds so enraged - like a setback after the progress. And yelling at Rodrigue 😭

Oh, shit, what is Fleche doing here.

Man, this is so much more intense than VW.

Oh shit - Fleche stabbed Dimitri. OMG. Saw that coming. Rodrgue's so worried.

Oh shit. Oh God. Rodrigue just died saving Dimitri, didn't he? Dimitri wasn't even going to fight back, was he?

OMG 😭😭😭😭😭😭

He's really dying guys. Why.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

WHY DID HE DIE THOUGH?

"Live for what you believe in. Your life is your own."

If I ever hear anyone shit-talk Rodrigue, I'm going to have words.

Oh, shit Felix. Felix never made up with his father.

Nevermind, I want VW back. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

(Oh, wait, nevermind, Dimitri just died in VW. I take that back)

Chris Hackey though. (I get the feeling he really liked Dimitri. How could you not, though?)

Oh shit guys, I'm getting watery-eyed.

Rodrigue just fucking died saving Dimitri.

Yo - Lambert is hot though. WHY DO ALL THAT HOT OLDER GUYS DIE? Please someone look out for Seteth.

Oh, shit Lambert should've listened to Rodrigue.

Rodrigue is so loyal and good. Fuck any haters.

On a side note - Byleth pretty badass taking Fleche out.

Ok - here comes the Byleth part.

Dimitri's "I haven't slept in a week" look is gone.

Oh, shit, where is he going? He's going to leave, isn't he?

C'mon, Byleth, don't let him leave. 😭😭😭

Dimitri thinks he'd just too far gone 😭😭😭😭😭😭

There's Survivor's Guilt, and then there's Dimitri, holy shit.

OMG his little voice wavers asking the professor for answers. Dimitri's going to be the end of me.

Also - Chris Hackney is a gem. Like, all the VAs are pretty good with a few exceptions, but Dimitri demands more range than most of them, and he sells all of it. It's what Dimitri deserves though.

I picked "You must forgive yourself," because holy hell 😭😭😭

He really just thinks he has no value, doesn't he. 😭😭😭

"As the sole survivor of that day, do I . . . Do I have the right to live for myself?" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And Byleth just reaches out her hand again 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Your hands are so warm . . . have they always ben" 😭😭😭

Shit, man, I don't like Byleth much, but this is good shit. Maybe I like Byleth a little.

Next Chapter title is "The King's Triumphant Return" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hell yeah, we're going to free the Kingdom!

Does this mean I get Dimitri's supports now?

Oh, boy, Dimitri's here. And Dedue's worried about his wounds. OFC he is.

He sounds so normal now.

Dimitri's apologizing. Is it weird to feel proud of a character? Because I feel proud of a character.

"I wish to do the right thing from now on." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OMG, Dimitri, this route is an emotional ride.

Hell yeah, let's go kick the Empire out of the Kingdom!

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

He's finally going to start living for himself, I'm just feel like a proud mom.

OMG FELIX CALLED HIM DIMITRI. WHY IS THIS ROUTE LIKE THIS?😭😭😭

I love all the Blue Lions so much. They're all precious.

[artreider]

Let's try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I'm currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.

I don't really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.

The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.

The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.

The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.

The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.

I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.

Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.

Poor lawyer she'd be good for dean.

I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.

Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.

Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who've been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.

Also maya's excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.

Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.

Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.

Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.

Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.

I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she's queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.

Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.

This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.

Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.

I understand travis emotion here.

How'd this conversation about maya's folks get started with andy???

I love that maya and andy's friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.

Dean you shouldve spoken up there.

Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.

Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.

That poor boy.

The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.

So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean's feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.

Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.

I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should've been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.

I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.

Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.

I also love the look of pride on maya's moms face both at the house and the wedding.

Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.

Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.

Also with all maya's options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.

Vic's song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.

Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.

I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.

Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we're good instead of reading them after seeing maya's mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.

I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya's mom to be there.

Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.

Another healing theo and travis talk.

Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.

Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.

This jack and andy conversation is interesting.

This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.

Its so funny that so few people know about Miller's feelings at this point.

It'll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.

Ben and bailey are so cute.

Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya's mom or the 3 of them.

Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.

Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.

Too late dean, they tried to tell you.

I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.

Time for the horrible news ugh.

Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.

Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.

Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.

[starrybouquet]

On Seasons 9 and 10 of Stargate SG1

A note: I wrote a series of essays several weeks ago, when I was feeling particularly crappy. I'm not particularly proud of them--they're pretty dramatic--but they do explain several of my more personal fandom feelings. I know I don't always tend to be the best at explaining things on the spot, so I'm posting these with the hope that I can refer people to them the next time that happens.

Um, I mentioned they're a little dramatic. I'm really, really sorry about that. But hey, if I can't be dramatic on Tumblr, in fandom, where else is that gonna go?

But still - if you're feeling a little sensitive today, maybe you wanna skip this. Or not. Just a light warning. :)

This piece is on seasons 9 and 10 of Stargate SG1, but they aren't all Stargate-related. I'll be posting them in the next few days, hopefully.

To those of you who like s9-10: I have nothing against you. Some of you I know better, some less well. In general, though, I like you, you seem like fine people. This is not about you, I hold nothing against you for liking those seasons. In fact, I envy you. This is more a personal post about why I'm an idiot. If you want, feel free to scroll down past this. I won't be offended. I'd put it under the cut but I'm on mobile.

Okay. Why, hello, those of you willing to read this rant...

No matter how much I denounce and ignore it, I cannot get past the pain of seasons 9 and 10 of Stargate SG-1. I've never watched them in full. Seen a few episodes here and there.

I cannot, repeat, CANNOT stand the thought today. It hurts.

It's an old pain, and it's not just SG1. SG1 is just one of the highlights in a long line of books and shows that have repeatedly broken my heart by being SO GOOD and then taking an, uh, precipitous right turn, shall we say. Because a hard right seems too kind, and a precipitous drop too harsh.

I love SG1. I love love love it. I like the plots and I love the science, but what I really fell in love with was the characters.

I loved all of them. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: if Sam, Daniel, or Teal'c had been on any other show, I guarantee you they would have been my favorite by far. Jack is just so...Jack that he has to be my favorite. That's SG1 for you.

I've never had super close friends. I have good RL friends, don't get me wrong. They're nice people. But we don't have much in common.

That's okay. That's been my experience forever--really nice folks who maybe didn't always get me or have anything to say to me, but were good, decent people.

And this is good. Really, it is. It's just that SG-1, for me, has always represented the promise that there *are* people out there that are your true friends, and you will do brave and brilliant things with them. It will happen.

It's naive, I know. But I haven't been able to let it go. Maybe someday. But not right now.

Which brings me to s9-10 of SG1. It hurts.

It hurts that SG1 scattered to the wind.

It hurts that they sent Jack away from a place where he was happy, where he'd found friends and meaning in life again, away to fucking DC. To be...what? A politician? I could write a whole post just about this. Actually, I have. I could still write more posts about it!

It hurts that Sam went to Area 51, and nobody seemed to mind, the 'Gate didn't spontaneously combust as we were always led to believe it would.

It hurts that Daniel's personality supposedly changed that much, in the absence of his friends. Though some of his lines are funny, they aren't the earnest, idealistic, thoughtful Daniel I fell in love with. I get the idea that new-look Daniel would roll his eyes at s3-8 Daniel, and beat up floppy hair Daniel. And floppy hair Daniel is my baby and anyone who doesn't appreciate his brilliance can face my wrath. That includes you, buff s9-10 Daniel, and also whoever decided/approved that change in characterization.

Really, the only one who doesn't hurt is Teal'c. Because it feels like he's moving forward, toward happiness.

So...here we are. Season 9. Mitchell, Landry.

I often say I hate Mitchell. Do I resent him for replacing Jack? Yes. I do. We can talk about plot reasons and all that, but at the end of the day, I was going to hate anyone who tried to be Jack.

This is true in real life, too. You can't try to be anyone else. You've gotta walk your own path.

Now, people say that I didn't give Mitchell a chance. I say that the way he was portrayed, in the few episodes I've seen, tells me enough.

I can think of lots of ways Mitchell could have been interesting. How would Daniel and Teal'c react to an old, actually bad tempered (not Jack bad tempered, actually bad tempered) hardass after eight years of their best friends leading them? Or--start with his actual character. Mitchell, he hasn't been at the SGC. Wouldn't he get some flack from the longtime team leaders of SGs 2-5ish? They'd be insulted, right?

Or we could've gotten a nice Daniel Teal'c episode arc and then we could've had one Samantha Carter as team leader, though we won't get into that.

Bringing me to my next point. Co-leads?? Seriously?? You're trying too hard, folks. Telling me Sam used to know Mitchell does not actually make me like him.

Same thing with Landry. Unlike Mitchell, I guess I don't really have an opinion on Landry. He's just....there? No character development for this man.

Anyway, back to the team.

One of the things I love about SG1 is how the humor and friendship was so damn natural. Other than a few episodes (Urgo comes to mind), the plots weren't intentionally humorous. They were campy sci-fi plots sometimes, sure. They were funny because Jack was funny, yeah. They were lower budget than some other sci-fi. But they were as serious as sci-fi gets. It was how the characters reacted that made it funny.

Similarly, we were never told SG1 were found family. We just Knew. Because of the way they acted with each other. Because of the way Jack would "order" them to do things.

And hey, by the way, they weren't always family. Sam used to be less willing to ignore Jack. Daniel used to be less willing to trust Teal'c. Jack used to be a little more stern.

So...they meshed together. Like all found families do.

Every time I see a photo of new-look SG1 in seasons 9 and 10, I can't help but feel that they're trying too hard. I don't get the family feel because they aren't a family, damn it. It doesn't matter how many times you *tell* me they're super close. One of the reasons the original team got so close is because they all needed each other. Jack was depressed, Daniel was grieving, Sam was alone and had lost her mom and wasn't speaking with her dad and had never opened up to anyone in her life, Teal'c was an alien fighting for freedom after spending 100 years essentially as a slave.

And partly because of that, by season 9? Daniel and Teal'c (and Sam, when she comes back) don't need a family the way they used to. They have each other. They have Jack, or at least they *should*. *Glares in angry at Jack in DC vibes*

So...they simply don't have the relationship with Mitchell they do with each other.

It'd be different if Mitchell needed a family. It's not that SG1 hasn't added people before--I think Jonas is a perfect example of this. He wasn't Daniel, and that always hurt. But he was young, and naive, and innocent, and he needed SG1 because he'd left everything he'd ever known.

And that worked.

Without needing family, Mitchell is just a coworker. He can be a friendly coworker. A friend. But if he wanted to become better friends, family, he needed to show depth and vulnerability. He needed to need SG1.

And he never does, from what I've seen and heard about and read about. Or if he does need SG1, he doesn't need them badly enough to show more than an occasional bout of thoughtfulness before returning to his normal pale-Jack-imitation ways.

Now, I don't know why that is. I lean toward bad writing. I haven't watched Farscape (it's on my to watch list) but it seems like Ben Browder is a fine actor.

So, seasons 9 and 10 are probably fine TV. I'm never going to watch them through, so don't ask. I've tried and failed and every time it just tears my heart a little more and I'm won't be doing it again.

Those seasons...they just lost everything I watch SG-1 for, and so...yeah. I feel the hate strongly. Not because they're bad--I think they're different, not necessarily bad. My hate is only because in creating those seasons, they tore down the parts of SG1 that I loved most.

So s9-10 show me a few nice hugs and laughs? That's nice. I like comedies, I do. However...that's not my Stargate. Not the one I love. I liked the sarcastic one, the one full of wonder, the one where they had to scrape and claw their way through the galaxy with naivety and courage and brilliance. The one where they ate together, fought together, died together, were resurrected together.

It hurts, man. It hurts when the things I love turn into something that's lukewarm. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

That's why we have fanfic. And, with any luck, I'll actually start that AU I've been talking about.

It's fanfic, and so it'll be my Stargate. The ending I wanted--which really wasn't an ending at all, more of a closure of one chapter of the story.

Damn, did that turn dramatic. Um, sorry about that, and also sorry for spilling my feelings all over you guys. Thanks for reading, if you got to the end of this.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Strangers (Part 4)

Summary: Sam has returned into Dean’s life for some reason and the reader is there to try and help Dean through having Sam around again...

Masterlist

Pairing: Doctor!Dean x patient!reader

Word Count: 2,000ish

Warnings: language, mention of surgery/injury

A/N: I hope you enjoy!

____

“Hi,” said Sam, giving you a quick wave. He stared at Dean who was already on his feet. “I need a place to crash for the night. If that’s okay.”

“What happened to the apartment, you were sharing with that girl, Jessica.”

“She died a few years ago,” he said.

“You kill her?” asked Dean. You got up, still holding your box of swiss rolls and Sam frowned. “You’ve been out of touch for three years. It’s not an unreasonable question.”

“I didn’t kill her,” said Sam. “I saw...it was a serial arsonist. I saw who did it and he ran with a bad group. I’ve been in witness-”

“Witness protection? Are you serious? I’m the fucking easter bunny while we’re at it,” said Dean.

“De, I think he’s telling the truth,” you said, nodding towards him. “He’s obviously upset.”

“You’ve been in witness protection? This whole time?”

“Yes,” said Sam. “Things have been happening lately. A lot of things. These guys are no longer a problem so I can come home. Except for the fact I don’t have a home anymore and had to drop out of college.”

“I filed a missing persons report on you.”

“I know.”

“I hung up flyers, search parties, fundraisers.”

“I know.”

“I drove to the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night because I thought I got a tip about you.”

“That was me. I had to relocate after that.”

“I looked for you for so long. Even when mom and dad gave up, I didn’t. There was no foul play but the cops told us it was unlikely we’d ever find you. You probably walked out and didn’t want to be found. I was so angry at you. They told us you were dead cause someone hurt you or you walked away. Those are two very different things,” said Dean. You dropped the box on the couch and grabbed his hand, Dean pinching his nose with his other. 

“I can leave if you want,” said Sam.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” said Dean. You rubbed his back and he walked over, giving his brother a hug.

“Finally got a girlfriend?” teased Sam as he returned it.

“You two are gonna get along great. You can swap stories,” laughed Dean. “Oh, I need a drink. Also how’d you get in my house?”

“My handler had a key made. They took it from your locker at the hospital,” he said.

“Lovely.”

“I know it sounds…” said Sam as he glanced at you. 

“Crazy is kind of our thing,” you said. “I’m Y/N.”

“You look familiar,” he said.

“My ex boyfriend tried to kill me. With bleach. In my drink.”

“Oh yeah. He was fucking nuts,” said Sam.

“Yup. That’s been our fun for the evening,” you said. “He got out. He’s dead now. It’s fine. Better than fine cause I’m gonna eat a whole box of swiss rolls and not feel bad about that.”

“Yeah, I will get along with you just fine,” said Sam, giving Dean a look. “Not sure about you though. I wanted to-”

“S’okay,” he said. “I’m just...happy you don’t hate me after all.”

“I wanted to call you so many times. It was too dangerous though. I couldn’t put you in that position,” said Sam.

“I’m getting kind of used to that,” said Dean. Sam smiled and you walked over to them both. 

“I crashed date night, didn’t I,” he said.

“Just a bit,” said Dean.

“Well I am really happy to meet Dean’s little brother,” you said, giving him a hug. “You don’t mind if Sam hangs out with us, right?”

“No, never. As long as you’re cool with it,” said Dean. 

“Of course,” you said.

“I appreciate it but honestly I’m wrecked. I could use with a shower and a bed,” said Sam.

“The guest room is right down the hall,” said Dean, pointing the way. “You hungry?”

“Nah. I’ll keep out of your guys hair,” said Sam. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem,” said Dean. Sam started to head for the hallway when Dean grabbed his arm. “I’m really happy you’re home, Sammy.”

“Me too.”

He smiled before he left, Dean taking a deep breath as he locked up the front door again.

“So you got a brother,” you said.

“Yeah. I probably should have brought him up at some point,” said Dean. You shrugged and rested your hands on his hips, Dean smiling softly. “I thought he was dead.”

“I’m glad he’s not,” you said. “I’m gonna have to back out on the being roommates thing though.”

“What?” he asked.

“Sam needs it way more than I do. I can stick around my parents until my apartment is ready. Seriously, it’s okay. He’s gonna need a lot of help. Trust me. He’s gonna want you,” you said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. My parents aren’t that bad. Someday we can be roommates though?” you said.

“Okay. I’ll take a raincheck for now,” he smiled. 

“Tonight’s not so bad,” you said. He nodded and you pulled him close to your body, Dean’s arms wrapping lazily around you. “You doing okay?”

“I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, the most terrified I’ve ever been in my life and the most relieved I’ve ever been in my life tonight. I honestly don’t know where to begin,” said Dean.

“I got a box of chocolate with your name on it that might be a good place to start.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” he said. “You okay too?”

“My night’s ending on a good note. I’m good Dean. Let’s get back to our date. I was in the middle of cuddling you if I remember.”

One Week Later

“Howdy handsome,” you said, the elevator doors at the hospital opening to Dean standing there in his navy scrubs.

“Gorgeous,” he said, giving you a quick kiss as he stepped on. “You already have your follow up with Mace?”

“Yeah. I am progressing well I guess. We’re switching my immunosuppressant to try something that doesn’t make me as tired and won’t make me as susceptible to illness,” you said.

“That’s good. I know you’re on the strong stuff right now. Mace is pretty good about finding the right med combo by the second or third try,” he said. “Transplant meds are tricky.”

“I’ve learned. How’s your day going?” you asked. “Saving lives?”

“Easy going day. Took out some tonsils on a teenager, did an appendectomy on a toddler, did a bone reset on a kid that broke her leg. Nothing they won’t all recover from 100% percent.”

“That sounds good,” you said. “When do you get off?”

He snickered and you whacked his arm.

“Such a boy,” you said.

“I have one more surgery for the day but I’m heading home after that. Our parents are coming into town. They’ve been in Florida cause their vacation plans got screwed up with the pandemic last year so they rescheduled and of course it’s this week and there’s tropical storms so they can’t get a flight out and they finally are getting home today. It’s been a nightmare. I’m supposed to cook dinner so that’ll go wonderfully.”

“You’re a good cook!” you said as the doors opened and you walked with him down the hall. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. They excited to see Sam?”

“Yeah. They feel bad about...they thought he was dead. Like it hasn’t been long enough to legally declare him that way but they were going to. I’ve always had a somewhat tense relationship with my dad. We fought a lot about Sam after he disappeared.”

“I think no matter what happened before, dinner’s gonna go good for you guys tonight,” you said.

“You’re coming right?” he asked. 

“You want me to?”

“Yeah. I...you make me feel...safe,” he said as he stopped walking. You smiled and grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers together. “You don’t have-”

“I’d love to. I really like Sam and I want to be there for you. I like that I make you feel safe, makes me feel good,” you said. He rubbed the back of his neck but you caught the smile on his face. You gave him another kiss, a whistle coming from further down the hall.

“Get a room, Winchester,” said a guy as he walked by with a laugh.

“Better be a soundproof room,” you said, the guy stopping in his tracks.

“Okay, I approve of this one,” the guy chuckled. Dean rolled his eyes but he was biting down a laugh.

“Y/N, this is RN. Lafetite or Benny as well call him. He’s Donna’s boyfriend,” said Dean.

“Oh yeah, she was great,” you said. “She removed my appendix.”

“That woman knows her way around a blade,” said Benny. “You had the digestive transplant done a while ago, right?”

“Yeah,” you said, Dean making a face beside you.

“Badass,” said Benny. “I worked with Mace some on you.”

“You’re a surgeon too?” you asked.

“No, no. I’m a surgical nurse,” he said.

“They’re pretty important,” said Dean. “The really good ones could perform minor surgeries themselves like Ben. I keep trying to convince Benny here to go to med school and join the rest of us.”

“Oh you know you’d miss me too much, Deano. You me and Novak are the dream team of pediatrics,” he said.

“Sure we are,” said Dean with a laugh. “Y/N and I were having a little get together on Sunday, watch a little football, food. Round up the usual suspects?”

“I can get the crew together. I’ll bring my beer dip and some of those pretzels. Very easy on the digestive system,” said Benny to you.

“That’s considerate,” you said. “It’s okay. I’m alright with most stuff. I just got to watch the grease a bit.”

“These are really not greasy at all. I’ll give you the recipe sometime,” said Benny as his phone went off. “I think we’re late for pre-op.”

“When are we not?” said Dean. “I’ll see you tonight, sweetheart.”

“See you later, Dean.”

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” said Dean that night as he rushed in the house. You and Sam were working the kitchen, Dean checking the clock. “They’re gonna be here in five minutes.”

“Go wash up. Sam and I can cook a few pieces of chicken and make mashed potatoes,” you said. You were nearly finished anyways, the chicken baking away in the oven. Dean made a thud down the hall but shouted back that he was fine before you heard the bathroom door shut. “He always been a worrier?”

“Pretty much,” said Sam as he got out the plates. “He seems different. Good different. More easy going.”

“It’s all I’ve ever known from him so I don’t have much to go off of,” you said. 

“You might have something to do with it,” he said. He smiled and finished up with setting the table. “You’ve never met our parents Dean said.”

“No. We’ve only been together a few months,” you said.

“This’ll be an interesting evening then,” said Sam as the doorbell rang. He suddenly looked nervous and you rubbed a hand up and down his back.

“It’ll be okay,” you said. “Trust me.”

“I see why he likes you,” said Sam. “Here goes nothing.”

______

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

[barbara-gordons-glasses]

Alright, since I can’t sleep and I’m bored, I’m going to list a few things that I hate about Tony Stark/RDJ, and his “fans”. If youre a Tony/RDJ fan pls ignore this.

Tony Stark made weapons for the military and only stopped because he was nearly killed and no

It wasn’t because he “felt bad” for those that were actually being harmed by the weapons. It was for his personal benefit

He constantly flirts with and messes with women while dating pepper

In the first IM movie, he made a transphobic joke and in an interview for his Sherlock movie, made a joke about cross-dressing

In AOU he made a rape joke, saying that if he ends up ruling Asgard, he’d reinstall pre minocta (or however you spell it)

He made Ultron, and before you start with the whole “B-b-but Wanda mind raped him!”

Firstly, wtf is mind rape? Really? For anyone who says mind rape y’all need therapy—maybe more so than Wanda

Anyways, he made Ultron and in civil war, had the A U D A C I T Y to say “we need to be put in place” as if it was the avenger’s fault that he created Ultron.

And him being the Rich white dude he was, he knew the accords wouldn’t effect him. He could still break the law without any consequences.

So he a brought a 15 year old child into battle with professionals, lied about his age, and didn’t even tell him the full reason of why he was fighting

Also? He thinks? Him and Steve? Were friends? Last I checked, they couldn’t stand each other, and had a hard time working together

So when he says “I wAs YoUr FrIeNd ToO” uh no. He’s known Bucky for 100 actual years. You guys have known each other for like 2, with 6 month breaks from working together

Homecoming, he completely neglects Peter and passes him off to happy, who ignores him as well

And then takes away the suit because Peter was trying to do his job.

You could give the excuse—“he sent government agents after the vulture!”

Yes. And toomes overpowered them by a lot so that didn’t do anything

Tony says he doesn’t want to end up like his father, but it just as emotionally distant as him

I cant even begin with that one scene in IW when he HAD THE CHANCE TO CALL STEVE AND ASK FOR HELP TO DEFEAT THANOS, BUT DIDNT. OUT OF PURE STUPIDITY AND HIS MASSIVE EGO

AND THEN WHEN HE AND HIS TEAM LOSES, HE’S??? SURPRISED???

LIKE, YEAH DUDE BECAUSE YOU HAVE PETER QUILL ON YOUR TEAM OBSESSING OVER HIS DEAD GIRLFRIEND smh

The endgame scene where he basically yells at Steve for “not being there” knowing full well that if Steve were to come out of hiding, he would’ve been arrested

Has a child five years later and then suddenly on tumblr, he’s “dad of the year” even tho he got like two scene with his kid...I mean...Stan Scott Lang

Him figuring out time travel makes no sense??

How’d he get pym particles of Hank kept his work secretive??

I’m telling you if Shuri hadn’t been dusted away, they wouldn’t have needed tony I stg

Fast forward and now he’s dead, and lemme tell you—it took EVERYTHING not to laugh at their faces.

Scott, Hank, Janet, Hope, Wanda, and Bucky, to be specific.

I mean

HE ALMOST KILLED BUCKY, KILLED WANDA’S ENTRE FAMILY, AND SCOTT JUST HATES HIM

They didn’t even wanna be there lmao

Ok, now that that’s done with, let’s move onto RDJ

I really never liked him as an actor because he has limited range when it comes to characters

By which I mean all of his characters are cocky, smart, “handsome”, and “funny”

They aren’t, but k

But now that he defended Crisp ratt for being a T*umpet supporter and a homophobe, I hate him even more now

And it’s not even because he’s standing up for ratt

It’s because he never showed this type of compassion when his female and cast mates of color were being attacked for their roles

Brie Larson got rape and death threats for being captain marvel, and only wanting more diversity/better pay for herself

Zendaya got hate because she was the first black MJ

Ratt got hate because he attended a homophobic church that supported conversion therapy

Guess which one RDJ defended?

Yup

And not only that but he’s just a really unfunny person. He’s basically Tony Stark and not in a good way

Though there isn’t a good way to be Tony Stark in the first place

NOW onto my favorite part

RDJ/Tony stocks fan club

Or “defense squad” as they call themselves, as if tonky doesn’t have enough defense already, with his suits and all

His fans ignore every flaw about his character and the actor himself

They constantly say how he’s a father figure to Peter, Shuri, nebula, Harley, when really...no

Peter has a father figure—Ben Parker

Shuri already had a father

Nebula didn’t have a good father, but in no means did they interact more than the beginning of endgame

He literally called Harley a p*say for MOURNING OVER HIS ABSENT FATHER

like haha ok Stark you can’t talk

Just because you have your own sob story doesn’t mean you can project that onto others to silence THEIR trauma

And that’s another thing—

His fans claim to say that he “portrays ptsd” more than any other avenger accurately

A C C U R A T E L Y???

Wanda and Pietro?

Steve?

Natasha?

Bucky?

Peter Parker?

Gamora?

Nebula?

Harley?

Literally anyone else but him???

What angers me the most, however, is that people will go as far as to say that Wanda is a nazi b*tch, but...

Not her brother

And I’m being dead serious—no post about “anti-maximoff” ever mentions pietro

Only wanda, as if she were an only child

Well now she is but that wasn’t the point

Their internal mysoginy hurts me both physically and mentally

I’m sorry I made it so long, but if you’d like proof of any of the points I’ve made, I’ll be happy to provide them (;

[shirtlesssammy]

6x21: Let It Bleed

Then:

Dean and Cas broke up

Now:

March 15, 1937

Providence, Rhode Island

It was a dark and stormy night, and HP Lovecraft sits at his typewriter clicking away. He finishes his manuscript, and his door slowly creaks open. He pulls out a revolver and heads to the hallway, but quickly backs back into the room and locks the door. A window blasts open and a shadowy figure is there. He pleads with it --but becomes blood cannon fodder anyway. 

Dean continues to dissect what could have gone differently to prevent his breakup with Cas. Sam tries being the logical friend --but there’s no explaining heartbreak, folks. Bobby comes in to tell them that when Cas popped in for his late night tet-a-tet with Dean, he stole a journal. But don’t worry, Bobby had a copy. 

Upon reading it, Bobby discovers a mention of HP Lovecraft. Dean doesn’t know who that is --and you’re going to tell me the dude that knows horror movies like the back of his hand and reads Stephen King doesn’t know who the father of horror is? And I know that Dean lies to cover up things he thinks other people would look down on him for, but this would be a weird moment to do that. 

Anyway, Bobby thinks Lovecraft knew something about purgatory. 

Meanwhile, Ben is chilling in his room reading Cthulhu graphic novels while his mom is watching the sportsball with her new beau. Demons bust in and gut the boyfriend right away. One takes after Ben. Ben gets to his room and calls Dean in a panic. He doesn’t know what’s out there and he can’t get to the shotgun in Lisa’s closet. Dean tells him to jump out his window. It’s too late --Crowley’s there and has both Ben and Lisa. 

Crowley tells Dean that no harm will come to them if he backs off from the purgatory plan. 

Sam throws some salt on Dean’s wound and asks if Cas knows about this. “We gotta assume that he does.” OUCH.

While Bobby heads off to follow the Lovecraft lead, Dean and Sam set to finding Lisa and Ben. They summon Balthazar and tell him that Crowley is alive. He blinks and tells them Cas already informed him. They then tell him about splitting the souls in purgatory plan. Balthazar knew that too, ahem. He refuses to help find Ben and Lisa. 

Sam thinks they should call Cas. “WE’RE NOT CALLING CAS.” This is a man in pain, Sam, he needs time. 

Bobby, meanwhile, interviews someone who possesses a large collection of Lovecraft’s private letters. He asks about March 10, 1937 specifically, and the dude wonders if he’s working with the other guy --”trench coat, looks like Colombo, talks like Rainman.” We’re supposed to assume he’s describing Cas, but ?? okay. They’re competitors actually.

The guy tells Bobby that Lovecraft had a dinner party with other blackmagic followers. They were getting together to perform a ritual to open a door into another dimension. He has --or had-- letters describing the dinner. Bobby leaves, knowing exactly how the letters disappeared. 

Bobby discusses the case with Sam, revealing that one guest of the party -the maid’s son- didn’t die and has been in a mental ward since that night. He’s gong to interview the man now. 

Dean, meanwhile, is lining the demons up and taking them down if they don’t answer his questions. 

For Murderous Rampage Science:

Sam tries to get his brother to take a break, but Dean is 100% on an emotional bender and will not stop. Sam then heads outside to pray to Cas --pleading with him to bring Ben and Lisa home. 

When Cas doesn’t appear, Sam walks away, dejected. Only Cas is there, invisible to Sam. AND I WANT TO TEAR OUT MY EYES. 

Cas confronts Crowley. Crowley was “merely exploiting the obvious loophole.” Cas demands he tell him where they are. 

Crowley tells Cas the only way to save Lisa and Ben is for him to find Purgatory. 

For Literal Science:

Cas flaps away when Balthazar summons him. They meet in a wooded area, and Balthazar confronts Cas about his partnership with Crowley. 

Balthazar confirms that Cas would be the vessel to take on the souls from purgatory. He could explode from all that energy. Cas assures him he won’t (weeps). Cas demands Balthazar tell him if he’s with Cas, and Balthazar laughs but agrees. 

Bobby interviews the maid’s son, and discovers Cas was already there. Bobby asks for the story. The man tells what was said at the time, but then asks, “Do you believe in monsters?” He tells Bobby that the door did open that night, and whatever came through took over his mother. Then the others died. Bobby gives his condolences to the man, and he shows Bobby a picture of his mother. Bobby recognizes her.

Dean prepares his Tortures for Demons™ when his foot drags part of the devil’s trap away. The demon immediately gets the drop on Dean, only for Cas to flap in (or turn visible) just in time to save Dean’s bacon. 

Dean’s...ungrateful. Surly, even! Cas apologizes about Lisa and Ben, and he’s hurt when Dean doesn’t believe that he had nothing to do with their abduction. 

“Dean, I do everything that you ask,” Cas pleads. “I always come when you call and I am your friend - still. Despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats.” Cas is just asking for backup this ONE TIME. (And you know what? Knowing the crap these Winchester boys have pulled, I always felt like Cas made a good point here.) They lob soulful looks at each other. Cas promises to rescue Lisa and Ben if Dean will just PLEASE stand down and let him absorb every single monster soul EVER it’s NOT A BIG DEAL. This is entirely the wrong tactic, and Dean tells Cas to go back to Crowley and he’ll save Lisa and Ben on his own. 

Cas flaps away. Soulfully. 

Bobby arrives at Eleanor-the-Dragon’s door. She’s at a little cabin in the middle of nowhere - one of her safe houses. He confronts her with the old photo and demands to know her agenda. “You know, we’re not all alike,” she retorts. She reacts similarly poorly to Bobby complaining about sleeping with her without knowing she was a monster. BOBBY! WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT RIGHT NOW. She tells him that the world’s lucky that she’s who popped through the portal. The professor is on Team Earth. Bobby begs to know the secret of the portal so that he can protect her from Cas. 

Balthazar flaps in on Sam. He’s joining Team Winchester because he’s terribly concerned about Cas’s life choices. He flies them close to Crowley’s angel-warded lockup, and Dean and Sam swoop in to save Lisa and Ben. 

They split up inside the warehouse - always a sensible plan. Sadly, Sam “Soft Noggin” Winchester gets knocked out IMMEDIATELY. Sam plz. Dean bursts into Lisa and Ben’s prison like a little angry blur of knives and in short order, he’s killed all the demons standing guard. They start to flee, when Lisa holds Ben at knifepoint, her eyes flashing black. 

The demon goes all in on the mental torture, telling Ben that Dean’s his real father (JK!) and that Dean is Lisa’s WORST EVER MISTAKE. While Dean catalogues the internal damage, he and Lisa fight. He sheathes the demon blade and starts an exorcism, and I look directly at the camera. Demon Lisa’s got another trick up her sleeve. While the exorcism progresses, the demon grabs a tool and jabs it into Lisa’s gut. Then, she gives Dean a choice: exorcise her and Lisa bleeds out or let Lisa remain animate (but a demon puppet). Wrenchingly, Dean finishes the exorcism. 

He makes sure Ben’s armed with a salt-round shotgun and then they head out of the factory. Ben shoots his first demon while Dean shouts at him to “pull it together” and I...just…….

Guys.

I’m just going to box these feelings up and stuff them in my Dean Winchester is a Sad Child attic, while humming Cat’s in the Cradle to myself.

They find Sam and head for a hospital, Dean muttering the whole time that she’s FINE Lisa is JUST FINE she is FINE. Cut to the hospital where Lisa is NOT FINE, but also is not dead! Yet! 

Cas flaps in. 

Dean refuses his apology. REFUSES IT. But Cas didn’t come to apologize. Okay, he DID, but he primarily came to heal Lisa miraculously. Dean looks up at him like he completely forgot that Cas can heal. 

For Healing Cas Science:

In Jensen Ackles your face is a menace news, Dean displays grief, joy, relief, anger, betrayal, sad cat memes, and more in like less than five seconds of screen time. He thanks Cas for healing Lisa. “I wish this changed anything.” Regrets lie thickly between them. Dean asks for one more favor. He wants himself erased from Lisa and Ben’s memories for good. 

When Lisa wakes, Ben explains that they were in a car crash. Dean enters, and introduces himself as the guy who hit them. GAH. The shitty things these characters do!!! Excuse me while I hurl knives at the wall for a solid thirty minutes!

“I lost control for a minute,” Dean says, not AT ALL metaphorically about their time together. “And I just want to say that I’m sorry.” He heads out, leaving the Braedens entirely unprotected from future supernatural threats and missing a substantial chunk of their lives. Hope Cas also cleaned up Matt’s body??? And the busted door??? (Side note: does anyone else have weird squid emotions thinking about Cas willfully blanking their memories when his own memories have been tampered with time and time again? I SURE DON’T!)

Dean meets judgmental Sam back at the Impala. Sam, I see your judgment, and I judge thee valid. Dean talks about his emotions in an open and healt----hahaha nope. Dean tells Sam that if he ever mentions the Braedens to him then he’ll break Sam’s nose. He punctuates that with mournful, red-rimmed eyes which definitely deal at least 1.5X damage against Sam’s puppy eyes. They drive off into the sad music. 

Elsewhere, Eleanor Visyak leaves her cabin, only to encounter Cas behind her. Cas flaps her away. CAAAAAAAAS!

You QUOTE Miette??!!

Your chocolate's been in my peanut butter for far too long

What’s with the slow burn?

You’re just a man. I’m better off protecting myself

I’m officially on your team. You bastards

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