#Redacted Wampus

[sheawritesstuff]

Redacted Pet Headcanons

[In no particular order]

Aggro is a black persian cat with yellow-golden eyes

Wampus is a short-haired white cat with orange tabby spots

Ivan had a green and gray conure growing up

Asher won a goldfish at a fair once and killed it by trying to feed it bacon bits

Marie spoils Aggro like she would a human grandchild

Sam had an old cattle dog he had to leave behind in Mont Blanc

Anton has a soft spot for senior animals and has adopted several throughout his life

David grew up with a basset hound but it died not long after Gabe did

Ollie's parents have a crusty-eyed white dog

Aaron has always wanted a rottweiler but has never had the time to actually take care of one

Elliot has a bearded dragon

Caelum once made a list of reasons Gavin and Freelancer should adopt a puppy because he wanted a reason to come visit them more

Camelopardalis loves snakes but doesn't like feeding them mice, so he's never had one of his own

Sam grew up raising chickens and always named them so he could refer to them all respectfully

Vincent has never had a pet but he spent a decent chunk of his childhood and adolescence visiting and volunteering at animal shelters

Geordi had a terrarium of insects that were very well taken care of

Lasko got a puppy for his birthday once but his mom got mad at him and took it to the pound a few weeks later

Huxeley's moms feed the deer in their yard every day and some of them still recognize Hux when he comes to visit

Damien had a hampster in middle school - he refuses to give details on what happened to it

Guy's family has what can only be described as an army of golden retrievers

Marcus had a gecko that would just lay on his shoulder while he went about his day

[prince-damien-of-darkness]

Ollie and Wampus

[capitalisticveins]

Unempowered Boys Headcanons (Ft Vega, Wampus, Aggro, and Cutie)

Took a bit longer than I thought but I’m still happy with how it turned out

Also I have like 1 personal headcanon that might be based on gender? If you look at it that way? I didn’t want to include it but I did so, sorry if it makes you uncomfortable

PS: Erik refers to Ollie’s listener as “Babe” in March Redactedness, so I did that here too. They’re not to be confused with “Baaabe” (Asher’s listener)

- Guy puts milk before cereal solely to piss off Honey

- Ollie and Babe have matching cat pajamas

- Geordi was a short distance runner for his high school track team. He quit after 3 weeks

- Flyboi! Baby tried to reconnect with Ivan when he was still influenced by Vega, but couldn’t find anything about him online. His number was gone, and so was all of his social media..

- Aaron worked at Walmart for 1 year before quitting on the spot without a 2-week notice

- Geordi was invited to a party in his high school year by Ben. He thinks of it as “one of the most depressing parties I’ve ever been to” in his words

- Ollie would vent to Wampus about his crush on Babe for 2 years before confessing. Wampus was asleep whenever this happened

- Honey was an honor roll student and a part of the college varsity team.

- Guy worked at Max’s Rustic Pizza to afford his tuition, with added bonus money from his parents whenever his paychecks weren’t enough

- Geordi’s only gone to 4 parties, 2 of which were birthday parties in elementary school

- Smartass used to pretend something smelled bad whenever Aaron walked past their cubicle, nothing pissed him off more than when they did that

- Ivan plays Stardew Valley

- Either Geordi and Cutie are the same height, or Cutie is taller by 2+ inches

- Wampus leaves the house through the window whenever neither Babe nor Ollie are home, and gets into another couple’s house and loafs with their cat, or fight them, it’s never clear

- Flyboi! Baby only plays Minecraft on peaceful mode and on 24 hour daylight. It’s too intense to play any other way

- When Cutie first told Geordi they were a telepath, he would put an aluminum foil on his head for a week whenever he wanted 100% privacy. Cutie found it adorable for the wrong reason

- Smartass forgot some stuff on their desk when they quit (a plant, some pictures, post-its, etc), Aaron keeps them on his desk.

- Honey would tutor other students whenever they could.

- Geordi hates FNAF

- Ivan starts getting headaches whenever he sees something about Vesta Distribution online, but he doesn’t know what’s causing it

- Sadism’s Hold! Baby works in Smartass’ old position at Vesta now

- Guy realized Honey was a tutor, and suddenly started being terrible at his English classes. He was assigned to be tutored by Honey, and started silently upper cutting the air when he was told this

- Ollie played Uno once as a teenager. Never again.

- Smartass would demolish Aaron at Monopoly

- Cutie absolutely ADORES Pitbulls

- Babe has 3 pet hamsters that has continuously tried to kill themselves and each other

- Guy proposed the idea of being roommates a few months before Honey finished their final semester, he was scared that when they graduated, they’d drift apart

- When he still had Sadism’s Hold! Baby in captivity, Ivan would want to see if Flyboi! Baby responded to his voicemail, but Vega’s control on him was too much, and he’d forget

- Aaron was one of those kids that would hold 3 chairs to show off to the class in the 2nd grade

- (Personal headcanon) Cutie did cheerleading in high school

- Sadism’s Hold! Baby would rather die than own a pet, commitment isn’t their strong suit, at all.

- Geordi wears dorky glasses, Cutie sometimes steals them and wears it themselves, and then gets a headache

- Guy and Honey went through 5 roommates before just moving in with each other, they only liked 1, but that one moved out.

Taglist: @frenchiefitzhere

[catella-ars]

Redacted Cats!

Aggro is a good-sized dude, but he can’t compare to the chungus that is Wampus. Then there’s Angel’s cat, Gremlin, the definition of scrungle. (Yes, in my heart, they take her back from Michael and David eventually warms up to her.)

[vampire-biter]

Cattywampus (Ollie’s cat) has three legs and an overbite that makes it so he looks like he has vampire teeth.

Wampus is a shelter cat as well

But the saddest part is the fact that wampus had a birthday party and NO ONE SHOWED UP EXCEPT FOR OLLIE.

(He was a volunteer for the shelter which made him feel worse)

The birthday part was supposed to be his way of getting adopted and taken home

“had worked for other pets so why wouldn’t it work for him?” Was literally Ollie the day after when talking to the other workers

“Look at him?!”

“Yeah! I am! He’s a beautiful cat!”

“We’re putting him down. He’s been here for 4 years now. He’s getting depressed at this point.”

And then Ollie RAN to go adopt him

He couldn’t stand the fact that because wampus was a little different he was being put down

(Imagine that pretty baby with a vampire kinda over bite)

Cattywampus the day he was brought home was around Christmas

((Bonus points for Ollie if he spent most of his Christmas bonus on adopting and getting ready for wampus))

I NEED MORE OF CATTYWAMPUS AND OLLIE BRO.

THEIR SO SWEET HOW COULD PEOPLE NOT LIKE THEM?

Wampus and Aggro would either love each other or be gay for each other like an old married couple change my mind.

(Bonus points for you if you can guess where the whole adoption/birthday party thing but no one showed up is from >:3)

[annahxredaxted]

The way Erik talks to wampus literally melts my heart oh my goddd

[capitalisticveins]

How do you even come up with this 😭

when i lose my friend in a crowd but theyre a magneton, so they summon me by my piercings like thor’s hammer

[chaotic-cheshire]

Barely started the video and already I'm just smiling like an idiot

[carewyncromwell]

hey im feeling kinda down because of upcoming ap tests, but your stuff always cheers me up. Got any fun Jacob, Duncan, and Olivia headcanons we've never heard before>

Okay, first things first, Anon, the first part of your message really, really means a lot. I’ve fought with severe chronic depression for a very long time, so I know how much someone simply making you smile can mean, just in helping you get through your day...and knowing I could help you at all means the absolute world to me. 🤗💗

As for headcanons y’all have never heard...haha, that might be tricky, as I’ve talked about my book-smart, people-dumb spaceman Jacob and my precious ghost boi Duncan a lot! XDD I guess one fun thing I can share is about the Forgotten Trio’s wands!

Jacob’s wand at Hogwarts is Aspen and Dragon heartstring. Aspen wands are considered to be wands for revolutionaries and accomplished duelists: owners who are “generally strong-minded and determined, more likely than most to be attracted by quests and new orders.” Dragon Heartstring as a core is quick to learn new spells and very powerful, but is more likely to be swayed to the Dark Arts than other cores. As an adult, Jacob acquires a second wand made of Blackthorn wood and Wampus cat hair in America and precedes to use both that wand and his original Aspen wand in duels. The Wampus is a large, cougar-like magical cat with a talent for hypnosis and Legilimency and one of the four mascots of Ilvermorny school, representing a house meant for “warrior”-type personalities. Blackthorn wood is also best matched with warriors and, although it has an association with black magic, they make for extremely loyal wands. 

Duncan’s was Ash (LOL) and Unicorn hair. The combination made for an insanely loyal wand -- when Duncan died, his wand actually snapped of its own accord when someone else tried to pick it up, refusing to be wielded by anyone but its master. Ash wands are generally paired with stubborn, brave owners who are not easily swayed from their dreams or convictions. Unicorn hair as a core is least likely to be turned to the Dark Arts and generally produces the most consistent magic. 

Olivia’s was Acacia and Phoenix feather. Acacia makes for sensitive wands known for subtle and quiet, but very powerful magic. This wand is turned to stone and destroyed in the Sunken Vault, so as an adult, Olivia wields a Pear and Phoenix feather wand. Pear wands are best suited to the warm-hearted, generous, and wise, and its owners are almost never swayed by Dark magic. Phoenix feather creates the most varied kinds of spells, but is generally the core that’s hardest to earn the loyalty of. 

And here’s an additional masterpost of reading on these three you can consult under the cut! Some of these go back a way, so there’s a good chance there’s something here you haven’t seen before. :3

Jacob - 10 Facts

Jacob - 10 More Facts

Jacob - 10 MORE Facts

Jacob and Carewyn’s Family History

Jacob’s Wand’s Origins

Jacob’s Favorite and Least Favorite Books

Guess Who Jacob Was Dormmates With?

Why Jacob Calls Carewyn “Pip”

Jacob and Carewyn Pre-Hogwarts

Why Jacob Doesn’t Like Bill Weasley

Jacob is an Idiot When It Comes to Feelings

Jacob, Carewyn, and Lane at Christmas

Ashe Headcanons

Jacob/Ashe Backstory

When Did Ashe and Jacob Know They Liked Each Other?

Ashe’s Nerdy Interests

Ashe and Carewyn Post-Portrait Vault

How to Cheer Ashe Up? Singing!

Ashe and Carewyn Post-Redacted

My Version of Olivia

Post-Vault Headcanons About Olivia

[wrongeddeadthenevermourned]

Star Wars Kai Parker Bio

BASICS

Name:  Malachai Parker

Alias/Nickname: Keres-Ma

Titles: Sith Lord, Inquisitor

Age: 20s

Date of Birth: May 9th

Zodiac:  Taurus

Bloodtype: B-

Gender: Male

Sexual Preference: Unknown

Species/Race: Unknown

Occupation: Assassin

Alignment: Lawful/Chaotic Evil/Neutral

Languages Spoken: English/Unknown

Current Relationship Status: Unknown

APPEARANCE

Height: 6′0″

Weight:  [Redacted]

Body Type: Athletic

Eye Color: Hazel-Blue

Hair Color and Style: Dark Brown, messy

Distinguishing Marks (tattoos, scars, etc): Scars over his body from his Sith Training.

Birth Defects: Unknown

Clean Shaven, Stubble, Rugged: Clean Shaven

Usual Clothing Style: Prim

Wearing Currently: Sith Robes/Assassin Gear/Tactical Gear

PERSONALITY

Hobbies: Cooking, Reading, Games, Martial Arts,

Positive Traits: Intelligent, Silly, Playful,

Negative Traits: Deceptive, Lazy, Ill-Tempered,

Quirks/Habits: -

Religion/Philosophy: [Redacted]

Political Affiliation: The Sith

Outlook: -

Likes: -

Dislikes: -

Usual Demeanor: Sporadic, observing, Unpredictable

Quick to Anger or Difficult to Anger: Not very quick.

Easily Approachable or Not So Much: Easy to approach

Introvert or Extrovert: Extrovert

PAST

Describe your characters History/Background: (Work In Progress)

Hometown:  Unknown

Childhood trauma: [Redacted]

Parents/Siblings: -

How events shaped their outlook on life: Unknown

PRESENT

Where are they now? Unknown

What are their fears? Unknown

What are their goals? Unknown

What purpose do they feel their reason for existing is? Killing

What drives them? Anger, Confusion, Authority

What are their current beliefs? [Redacted]

MISCELLANEOUS

Do they know their heritage well? If so, does it resonate with their personality? (Ex. A viking having a brash and impulsive, violent personality): No he does not.

Powers: The Force/Esoteric Energy Manipulation, Inquisitor, Sith Assassin, Sith Sorcerer,

Weapons: Laser Rifle, Double sided fiberlinked lightsabers/staff(Blue inner light, Purple Outer Light), two hidden wrist lightsabors (Red inner light, black outer light)

MBTI: ENTJ

Enneagram: Type 8, 7w8/8w7

Element: Air

Temperament: Choleric/Sanguine

Aptitude: Above Average (120)

District: District 13 ( Nuclear weapon (primary), Graphite mining (minor) )

Divergent: Dauntless

Game of Thrones House: House Frey

Harry Potter House: Slytherin/Wampus

Talents:  Unknown

Social Standing: Soldier

[sheawritesstuff]

Redacted Ollie / Baby Headcanons

☆ Ollie is at least a few inches shorter than Baby

☆ Baby spoils Wampus with all sorts of treats whenever Ollie is gone

☆ Ollie makes Baby’s coffee every morning, just the way they like it

☆ Baby has crippling imposter syndrome

☆ Ollie is a blanket hog

☆ Baby feels guilty for sleeping before their work is done, even when they’re literally falling over from exhaustion

☆ Ollie paints minis 

☆ Ollie and Baby are both on the ace spectrum

☆ Ollie has all his deadlines written on at least 3 different calendars so he always knows when projects need to get done

☆ Baby prefers PC games, Ollie prefers console or board games

☆ Ollie is the middle child

☆ Baby went to college in Dahlia as a way to get away from their family

☆ Ollie is named after someone in his family so he's gone by Ollie most of his life to distinguish which Oliver was which

☆ Wampus is a cuddler through and through - any time either of them sits down he's immediately curled up in their lap

[alisuhs]

ALISA SAVAGE is an ORDER MEMBER in the war, even though HER official job is as HEAD OF THE AUROR OFFICE. the THIRTY-ONE year old PUREBLOOD is known to be ENTERPRISING and VIVACIOUS but also DOGMATIC and NEUROTIC. some might label them as THE LADY OF WAR. fc: inbar lavi

so this is alisa savage, aka That One Obscure Auror Tonks Offhandedly Mentions in One of the HP Books (trademark pending)

pinterest boi

character inspiration: leia organa, hayes morrison, lexi branson, natasha romanoff, peggy carter, sara lance, jessica pearson, bobbi morse.

aesthetic.

high heels clicking on hardwood, the smell of fresh - brewed coffee, spilled wine, redacted information, smudged ink on parchment, the pop f i z z clink of champagne, quills scratching across paper, the satisfaction of reaching justice, lipstick stains on glasses, snakeskin and lace, the feeling you get when you step too close to a fire. messy blonde hair framing features that were once beautiful, but are now just tired. sharp whiskey and silent grief. honey eyes and tattooed wings beating against your shoulder, begging to be uncaged. 

family ties.

ezra savage --- american ambassador, soon to be retiring. generally a playful, fun man, very personable and agreeable. it’s what made him such a good diplomat and father. he was a thunderbird when attending ilvermorny, where he met his wife.

hara savage --- former wampus!!! tiny and fighty and very very loving. a huuuuge spitfire. currently back in the states to help her sick mother.

damaris savage --- baby sis!!! was honestly the sweetest, most fun young girl. big dreams and even bigger imagination. she was a 22, a junior healer --- one of the ones who were killed during the siege, actually. surprise!!!!!!

childhood.

ALRIGHT SO the savages are actually an american pureblooded family!! though blood status typically didn’t matter as much in the states as did the way ezra made his way up to earning the title of AMBASSADOR. diplomat. emissary. whatever ya wanna call it!! 

though the savages were also a later branch of the highly regarded ROCHE family, of the original twelve aurors, due to one of the women in the family marrying a savage.

alisa was born in 1949 america, which with all things considered, really wasn’t that long after the ordeal with grindelwald. but it was also 1949 in the united states, so the red scare was going strong when she was born, which was an entirely different sort of witch hunt than the one her wizarding community grew to know

with the red scare as a guise, there were some lingering anti-wizard people who used it as an excuse to go after wizards. again. but this time by saying they were communist spies!!!

she grew up in a wizarding world that wasn’t AS sheltered and concealed since the disbandment of the new salem philanthropic society just over two decades before. 

the savages are spread all across the united states wizarding world, but this particular branch of them was fairly small and tight knit and centered right outside of new york city. much of alisa’s first eight years was spent bouncing back and forth between their home in new rochelle and the city.

after working as a translator for years, and growing from there, ezra finally reached a point where macusa and the president announced him to be their consul for the united kingdom’s wizarding world. this was v exciting for the family!!

so when she was nine, not long before she would have started her education at ilvermorny, the savages relocated to LONDON. fun!!! (sort of)

living on the wizarding world’s equivalent of embassy row and getting to witness this level of the government working was fascinating. her life from then on took the form of galas and exploring london with her mom (and eventually newborn sister, who was ten years younger than her) and mother and sitting in on some debates and discussions regarding foreign policies between the different countries.

a lot of political shit, but it also really shaped alisa?? it made her very interested in the mechanics of the government, and exposed her to how things WORKED. both in the ministry and macusa. it also displayed both groups’ PROBLEMS to her.

when she was 11 she was shipped off to hogwarts!!! 

her parents didn’t want her on a different continent while they were still working in england, so after some discussion with headmaster dumbledore, she was brought on board

sorted into slytherin!!! her personality was essentially highlighted in slytherin, where her fire and drive and goals were celebrated, though her american background did receive its own criticisms. for the most part, hogwarts were some of the best years of her life --- she was a member of too many clubs to keep track, a keeper for the slytherin team, a top student, and incredibly social w/in her peers. sure she could be a bit.......biting sometimes, but overall she was v sociable.

then to now.

so after graduating from hogwarts, she went straight into the auror academy!!! though she was good at playing the social realms of politics, it was never quite as much her speed as what the aurors did. even back in the states she had practically idolized the men and women with these jobs, so it was no question what she wanted to do.

a very ambitious and determined woman, she fought and worked her way higher and higher up through the department as years passed. there was always that unspoken struggle of being a woman in a male-dominated field. but she was damn good at her job!!!! sometimes a bit of an annoyance to her peers when she would fight back on some decisions made on cases, but it’s bc she has a fucking backbone boiiii

so as she went from junior auror to senior and everywhere in between, she gathered respect. enough of a reputation as well, to be promoted to head of the auror office in january of 1980 at age 31. she is the third woman to hold the position and ALMOST the youngest, but not quite

she’s a workaholic so since her promotion you can catch her at the ministry even MORE these days

she loves her job though, and is v v committed to getting things done through the right means. off the clock she’ll do anything to get the job done, but when at work she’s v big on ensuring everyone follows rules and protocol when it comes to cases. she doesn’t need shit being thrown out the window bc someone didn’t go through the right channels or was a dumbass and did something out of line. they’re going to do it the right way dammit!!!!

oh okay right and the ORDER i need to talk about that

so basically she joined near the start of the war?? she was around 22/23 and a v fiery, excitable new auror who had a tendency to push her luck and speak impulsively when she shouldn’t have. but it was enough to get the attention of dumbledore and his small order at the time, so she was RECRUITED

sort of a spy but also not really

more does a lot of the strategy work, social warfare, my local ootp mom

helps organize missions n shit

personality.

LOOK I K N O W I SAID SHE WAS GONNA BE A KNOCK-OFF AMELIA BUT

she actually ended up being fairly different??? or i at least highlighted different traits than i usually did with mia

a detail-oriented big picture thinker. used to act more impulsively, but at this age she’s more likely to step back and take everything in before making decisions or calls and it’s what makes her a good leader, but also can be what makes her seem COLD

low tolerance 4 bullshit

quick tongued

warm hearted, ultimately

ready to do what it takes for the cause, but she also has a particular moral code that she won’t typically break

somewhere within the lawful good and lawful neutral spectrum ???

p aggressive!!! like she’s 300 pounds of fight me in a 140lb body, but also aggressive in a different sense? like she’s willing to step forward and do or say the things some might not, also ready to push and push and push until someone breaks

like she’s a potty-mouthed ball of rage from 1940s new york, come on

can be a lil dramatic :/

optimistic, but not naive??? like how leia had 100% in the rebellion but she also wasn’t fuckin stupid

i could get into this more but u know what, i’m still learning her myself

fun facts.

u think she has coffee.......but in reality, it’s coffee AND whiskey

gets into aggressive debates about quidditch

always wearing heels, like it’s a bad day if she’s NOT

always has her nails done, it’s v extra

“what do u prefer, men or women” “i have a preference for justice”

has a black cat that she would probably die for

would also probably die 4 u reading this but anywhomst

loves greek mythos and literature in general

but esp greek mythos

pretty n tired, probably hasn’t gotten a full night’s sleep since 1972

OH AND FORGOT 2 MENTION THIS FARTHER UP BUT she’s been more.......volatile since the murder of her sister during the siege. v Not Happy. sara lance when laurel was killed? it alisa.

anyway i want 2 add more and learn her more bc i’m EXCITED and on a ROLL and those character parallels up there are giving me SO MUCH INSPIRATION but i have 2 work 11-9 today and it’s 10:30 so gotta blast

come plot w me thank

[capitalisticveins]

Do you guys think Aggro’s alive in Imperium?

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

(🎟️) Bad news: the Talking Points hostess actually has LESS lore than the Champ'd Up host. Literally the most we get is "Didn't I see you at Talk-Con this year?" and her VA saying that the vibe she was going for was elementary teacher. I mean, it's literally a game based around players talking, so I didn't expect a goldmine of voice lines, but still. Maybe that's why some people HC she's Poopsie - there's nothing implying she's *not* an anthro cat!

I mean fair, but Toby and Lena got great lines and their entire bit is letting you talk about your inventions- same with Joke Boat, Captain Chuck Hull (I JUST REALIZED THAT'S A PUN OFF 'CHUCKLE' AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S THE JOKE BOAT AHHHHHHHHHHHH) has some pretty good lore during the waiting sections.

And THAT explains why I've seen people calling Poopsie a psuedo-host! I was so confused, I know Mayo was a host but none of the games screamed 'bro there's a cat here' to me (other than Devils, but that cat is Wampus). And it's not like Poopsie had a canon va prior to (I assume) so we can't rule that theory out immediately. maybe that's why she's so shy to talk about herself. all she has to say is that her 'brother' Mayonnaise is weird, her 'dad' Cookie is insane, and that she shat in a box this morning. and ate fish cereal. and tore the head off a mousie toy.

actually it'd be hilarious for a host to be an anthro animal but only allude to their non-human parts without it being an arbitrary amalgamation of parts like Felicia, Glargan, and [REDACTED]. just casually saying "put your paws together" or referring to their hair as fur or mentioning their tail off hand