#also i think.... I only have around 50 dollars left in my bank now... so I really need help atm ;;

[gotchibam]

Will post the link to magma session later! (might be later than the time I proposed last night bc i still need to eat breakfast)

I still need help w/ funds too so if anyone would like to give their support, I have a ko-fi page for tips & donations 🙏 You can also check out my inprnt & ko-fi shop if you'd like to buy some stuff there instead! ;w;

Thank you sm!! See you in the magma board soon! ✨

[jj-babebank]

Room 107 // chapter I // JJ Maybank (smut)

I have started my first JJ story, which will consist of several chapters that I will constantly be updating. The story picks up where season 2 leaves us. TW: Contains mentions of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex and violence. 

Chapter 1 can be found below.  Oh, and - please feel free to submit requests, I tend to write a lot ;) 

Enjoy xx

Chapter 1 - La Guardiana

Days had passed since the Pogues had last seen civilisation, maybe even weeks. The sun was hotter than ever, with close to no wind to mask the warmth. JJ was taking this particularly badly. 

“I’m so done with eating bananas, man,” he moaned, kicking a pebble as he trotted a little behind the rest of his friends, “Can’t we just stumble across an oasis or something and end up in, like, an actual city?”

As if on command, his friends stopped in their tracks, the girls awing and the guys smiling happily. 

“We just might, JJ,” said John B, looking at the city unfolding itself in front of them in the distance, “We just might.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m actually starving,” laughed Sarah, nudging John B’s arm, “Don’t tease!” “Hey, so am I,” he cooed, “First joint we find, we’re going in for food.” Kiara rolled her eyes, “As much as I would love to accept that offer, let me remind you that we have no money.” Sarah nodded, “Mhm, nothing at all.” “Nada,” John B looked at the two girls sternly, “And when has that ever stopped us exactly?” Kiara rolled her eyes once again, smirking at her friend, “Alright, I suppose a good meal would give me the energy I’d need to run a marathon after getting caught not paying.”

The group continued walking down a not too busy street, studying the buildings, looking for a restaurant, cafe, diner - anything, really. They hadn’t had a proper meal in God knows how long and they were famished. They couldn’t help but notice how all the buildings on the street were of the same height - no more than four storeys each, all painted in different colours. If they hadn’t known any better, they’d have thought that they had left the United States of America altogether, although one thing was certain - they were definitely not in the Outer Banks anymore. 

The street wasn’t crowded at all, there were hardly any cars or people lurking about. JJ concluded that this was probably an unpopular area of whichever city they were in. This would also explain the lack of supermarkets and restaurants. He really wanted to ask his friends to stop for a little break - his throat was so dry and his legs could barely hold him up anymore, but he knew better. The longer they walk, the faster they’ll find what they are looking for. Having no indicator of the time on them wasn’t helping either, hell, they could have been walking for 12 hours for all he knew, and with no result. 

“Maybe we should just ask someone,” Pope suggested, “Neither of us is a wanted criminal anymore, I’d say we have nothing to worry about.” John B smirked at his friend’s remark, but ultimately agreed to ask the first person they ran into where the nearest food joint was. Turns out, they were standing right in front of it. 

“La Cubanita Hotel and Restaurant” it spelled out in bold, red letters. The building was narrow and a light shade of blue, totally contrasting the obnoxiously coloured sign planted in front of it. Much like the rest of the buildings on the street, it had no more than four floors, each consisting of a row of Spanish windows with brightly coloured frames. The Pogues looked at each other with a hint of uncertainty before John B lead the way into the building. 

On the inside it looked like a typical diner - tiled floor, red and blue booths, a long bar accompanied by bar stools and, cheesily enough, a boombox. JJ guessed that the way to the hotel was through the back, but he didn’t put too much thought into it. The place seemed dead, with only one of the booths being busy. It was either an off-peak hour or this city was actually a ghost town. 

The group sat at one of the booths on the other side of where the other people were and JJ took a second to observe them. A group of bikers, all wearing stereotypical biker outfits from leather jackets down to bandanas. They were in their mid 50s and were all smoking indoors, drinking what looked like whiskeys, despite of the blazing sun still very much being out. JJ had to give it to them though, they did look pretty darn cool if he did say so himself, and those cigarettes looked eerily appetising to him at this given moment. Oh, what he’d give to have a sip of whatever they were having and a long, much needed drag of one of their cigarettes. He was so lost in his daydream, he barely realised Kiara poking him in the arm. 

“JJ,” she urged, “Waitress is here!” In this moment JJ turned his attention to the new subject in question, their waitress. She was standing at the foot of their booth, wearing her uniform, black and red, holding a pen and a notepad, chewing a piece of gum, waiting for his order. Could this place get any more stereotypical? JJ thought to himself. “So what’s it gonna be, handsome?” She said, not even bothering to look in his direction. “Uh…” JJ fumbled with the menu, “I’ll just have whatever they’re having.” He said, pointing at the bikers in the booth across from theirs. The woman rolled her eyes, popping her bubblegum. She took the rest of the Pogues’ orders before disappearing somewhere behind the bar. JJ followed her with his eyes, blocking out the conversation his friends were currently having. The waitress came back out of what he assumed to be the kitchen and handed the paper with their orders to another girl behind the bar. JJ guessed she was the barmaid, and boy was she a bit of him. 

She was wearing the same uniform as her colleague, although JJ had to admit - it looked a whole lot better on her, at least from what he could see from above the bar. Her hair was long and brown, half of it tied up effortlessly, and slightly messily, although JJ didn’t mind one bit. He watched her as she took the paper from her colleague and went to fetch the drinks written on it. He couldn’t make out what exactly colour her eyes were, and quite frankly - he didn’t really care, she was gorgeous regardless of what her eyes looked like, and she looked around his age. Had the sun and heat gotten to his head, or was it just the fact that he hadn’t touched a female in so long, he didn’t know, but if there was one thing JJ Maybank was notorious for, it was his ability to pull any girl his heart desired effortlessly. This is why he excused himself from the table and, albeit his friends’ confused looks and comments, he made his way towards the bar, sliding into one of the stools directly across from the girl. 

She looked up at him, “Can I help you?” “Brown…” JJ mumbled to himself. “Excuse me?” She said, this time sounding slightly annoyed. Her eyes were brown, JJ thought, brown and sexy. He coughed, trying to compose himself and gave her his signature Maybank stare. It worked wonders back home, surely it would work wonders now again. “Name’s JJ,” he said suavely, “I’m not from around here-“ “Clearly,” she muttered, picking up a bottle of whiskey. JJ assumed it was for him, “Aren’t you a little young to be drinking, JJ?”

JJ smirked, “What can I say, I have the face of a boy but the body and mind of a man.” The girl snickered under her nose, “Sure. Well since you’re here, make yourself useful and bring your drinks over to your friends,” she gave him a fake smile, placing a tray with their orders on it in front of him, after which she turned her back to him and walked towards the back of the bar. JJ was too busy observing her behind to notice the other waitress standing next to him, her arms crossed in front of her chest. “Should I take that or will you?” She said, waking JJ up from his everlasting daydream. “Oh, uh, don’t sweat it…” he said, picking up the tray and carrying it over to his friends’ booth. “So much for customer service,” Sarah laughed. “And to think my dad says I’m hostile to our customers,” Kiara muttered out. JJ took his seat next to her, his eyes never leaving the bar. “La Guardiana,” Pope read out loud, “This place is called La Guardiana, and apparently we’re somewhere in Florida.” “Florida?” John B said, confusion dripping through his words. Pope nodded, pointing at some text on the bottom of the menu. 

La Cubanita Hotel & Restaurant **, 97 Diego’s Crescent, La Guardiana, FL 

“Holy shit, we’re in Florida!” John B whisper yelled. Sarah laughed at his reaction, “Calm down now, Sancho, let’s not draw any attention to us,” “Yeah, you might wanna tell Casanova here that,” teased Pope, nodding his head in JJ’s direction, “Was it really worth it to potentially blow our cover just to talk to that girl?” JJ snapped at Pope, “Hey, man, just ‘cuz you don’t have the nuts to go over there and talk to her yourself,” “Yeah, I really want to attract the staff’s attention, you know, even more than we already are, seeing as we’re the only other busy table at this place.” “Your food,” the waitress from earlier was back with some of the Pogues’ orders. They waited for her to be out of earshot and JJ spoke up, “Relax, P, I bet you I can charm the pants off that girl and we won’t even need to sneak out without paying!” Pope gave JJ a fake smile, “Mhm, I’m sure she’s gonna be so deep under your spell she won’t even notice us leaving without paying a cent." JJ rolled his eyes, picking up a toothpick from the table and placing it between his teeth. “Might even offer us a place to crash, you know, because she’ll be so captivated by you.” Pope continued to tease. “Yeah, chicks totally dig this whole I’m homeless and I haven’t properly showered in like 15 days look you're going for,” Sarah joined in on the teasing. Kiara laughed and added, “Yeah, and the bit that’s gonna fully seal the deal for her is that you have literally nothing to offer her, like 0 dollars.” Everyone was laughing while JJ just crossed his arms in front of his chest and turned to look out the window, “Talk all you want, guys, but once we get that gold back, you’ll see who’ll dig what.” “The rest of your order,” he recognised the girl’s voice. It was her bringing their food over this time. She placed John B’s plate in front of him and then made her way around the table, next to where JJ was sat. She handed him his plate and bent down slightly, so that her lips were on the same level as JJ’s ear, “Next time you decide to share your criminal plans, you might wanna talk a bit more quietly.” She whispered, setting his cutlery down for him, “Oh, and, you might be charming wherever you come from, but your friend’s right. That shit doesn’t work around here.” She said, patting him on the shoulder before walking away. JJ didn’t waste time sitting around to listen to his friends pass comments about what had just happened, he downed his whiskey and practically chased after the girl. “I’m guessing you’ll want another one?” She said, not even turning around. JJ wondered how she knew that he was there. When she turned to face him, the bottle of whiskey was in her hand. “Let’s see… Do I pour you another one and close my eyes about you planning to leave without paying, or do I do what anyone else in my position would do and call the police on you? Hmm…” she pretended to think, her eyes never leaving JJ’s now panicking ones. “Please don’t call the cops,” he blurted out, the whiskey hitting his brain and making him stress out more than he wanted to admit to, “Look, we - we were in a boat accident, we don’t even know how we got here, hell - we didn’t even know where we were up until 10 minutes ago! And we - we don’t have  any documents on us, we don’t have any sort of identification, what would you -“ “Relax, kid,” the girl smirked, picking up two glasses and pouring a generous amount of whiskey in both of them, “I won’t rat you out.” She said, handing JJ one of the glasses and raising hers for a toast. JJ clinked his glass with hers, a large smile growing on his face, his dimples becoming very prominent, “Thank you, really… That means a lot.” The girl took a moment to observe JJ, then to look at his friends having a heated conversation at their booth, all of them practically stuffing their faces with food in an almost animalistic sort of way. Could this boy really be telling the truth? Could these kids have been lost at sea with no place to go? She looked back at JJ who was also looking at her. Despite the smile plastered on his face, she could clearly see that he was extremely nervous still. “Hey,” she said, “I told you to relax, didn’t I. I won’t charge you for your food, in fact… I might even have a place for you to sleep and clean up tonight.” JJ’s eyes grew wider at her words, “You what?” She leaned in closer to him over the bar and lowered her voice so that he would be the only one to hear, “Hotel upstairs, my aunt owns it. She’s currently out of town with my cousin. Should be back next Thursday. I think I can fit you and your friends in. You just have to promise to be on your best behaviour.” She said, pulling away and taking another sip from her drink. JJ couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It was too good to be true. She was hot and she was willing to help? This must have been his lucky day. Sarah could suck it, and so could the others. Clearly this girl was into him. Why else would she be offering to help? “So, uh, what’s in it for me?” He asked, a hint of mischief in his voice. The girl opened her mouth, but before she could speak, the other waitress groaned from behind her. “Samara, how many times do I have to tell you?” Her croaky voice rang. The girl, who JJ had just learned was called Samara, rolled her eyes and repeated with her colleague, “No drinking on the job, yeah yeah, I know. But Heather’s gone and so is Conner, so who can tell me what to do, really?” She said, finishing what was left of her whiskey, “Besides, Georgia, as far as I’m concerned, since they’re both gone, that leaves me in charge, no? Now get back to work,” she said, making her colleague roll her eyes at her. Samara turned around to face JJ again, giving him a wink, before disappearing into the kitchen. JJ couldn’t believe his luck. He swung his arm over the bar and picked up the bottle of whiskey to pour himself one more drink before returning to his friends. “Guys-“ JJ tried getting their attention. “So what are we supposed to do now? We’re totally screwed!” “They’re gonna call the police on us, hell, they probably already have! The cops could be on their way!” “Guys!” JJ yelled, catching even the bikers’ attention. His friends looked up at him, worry filling all of their eyes. “You’ll never believe what I’m about to tell you, oh, and Sarah? You can eat your words.” He smirked before telling them what had just happened. “Hold on,” said Kiara, her face revealing her confusion, “So this random girl in this random place just randomly said that we can crash here until when?” “Next Thursday, or was it Tuesday? What day is it today?” JJ scratched his head. “JJ!” Kiara slapped his arm, “What if this is a trap? It sounds too good to be true doesn’t it? Like, what’s in it for her? We don’t even know her! What if she’s a murderer or something?” “She’s right, you know,” Cleo chimed in. “She is,” said John B, “But we have nothing to lose, literally.” Pope nodded, “I’d usually agree with Kie, but John B’s right. We have nothing to lose. And what if she calls the police? What could even happen then? We get put in jail for agreeing to sleep in a hotel for free? Come on, guys, I’m sure we can all agree that a bar of soap and a normal bathroom would do us good. I mean, we stink.” Everyone laughed at Pope’s remark before Kiara turned to JJ again, “So what’s the plan?” Realisation just struck JJ that he didn’t in fact know what the plan was. Samara had told him virtually nothing about how any of this would go down. Where were they supposed to meet? Was she going to take them to their rooms? Would they all be sharing one room? He was so busy thinking about how all of this would go down, he barely noticed Samara herself passing him a note. It was taken out of her colleague, who JJ now knew to be Georgia’s notepad. The note read in messy handwriting:

Bring your friends to the lobby. Straight down the hallway by the bathrooms. 

JJ turned the piece of paper towards his friends and they all got up, rushing towards the hallway by the bathrooms.

[sakura-83]

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 1 Episode 7: Wherever You Are Is My Home

⚠️WARNING!!!⚠️ this episode not only talks about suicidal thoughts but also a character trying to commit such acts, of you are sensitive to this I suggest you just skip this post or at least skip #75-77

1. Anne calling it comforting that no two snowflakes are alike, as well as calling snow a sign of gods forgiveness as he blankets the dead world in a beautiful frost

2. Josie gossiping about her while she’s RIGHT THERE

3. Her and moody just talking

4. “And I love Christmas, don’t you?” “I don’t know, but I plan to.” “Did you not have Christmas at the orphanage?” “There wasn’t much to it really. I’m not sure why Father Christmas wasn’t able to stop there, maybe the matron scared him off.”

5. “Do you at least know if they’re going to keep you?” “Keep me!?”

6. Anne trying to sing with the others but the other voices quickly fading out as she panics and rushes home

7. “They’re not going to send you back, you’re in the Bible and everything!”

8. Marilla has every right to be angry that Matthew rushed their home without even discussing it

9. “I knew you’d lose your head-“ “Oh, I oughta smack yours right off your shoulders!”

10. Matthew is prone to heart attacks, the very same thing causing his death in the books

11. “He’s had an episode of the heart” just a funny way to say heart attack, sort of long winded

12. Marilla not understanding the complex math because she had to leave school when she was young

13. Anne helping her with it because she’s top of her class

14. “Not keeping you? You’re a Cuthbert, for better or for worse! No getting out of it now.”

15. The awful bank not relenting on the payback schedule despite the fact that Matthew cannot work. Corporations are cruel and ungiving despite the human struggles and needs of its clients and it hurts. I know the bank invested that money and they need it back but Matthew was indisposed by a tragic event and to not only not extent but to SHORTEN the payback schedule is just unfeeling

16. Marilla putting out an ad to the mainland to take in borders

17. The terrifying idea that you must sell everything you have in order to survive

18. Marilla being desperate yet still too prideful to accept charity

19. The fact that it not only effects the family but also Jerry, as they can’t afford to pay him. It puts him out of a job and lowers his families income

20. A reoccurring theme I love in this show is the idea that the characters will give up their belongings, no matter how sentimental, in the name of family. Matthew selling his dead brothers watch, Marilla selling her grandmothers brooch, Anne selling the dress of her dreams, all because no matter how important these items are, they are just things. That family is more important, so even though it pains you to have to give those things up, you do it in the name of love for others

21. “Theyre just things.”

22. Anne feeling sorrow and yet being excited to stay at aunt Josephine’s

23. Despite being told she can keep the dress, Anne insists on selling it back because it’s a family effort

24. Anne being exited for a solo adventure and then getting stuck with jerry

25. Jerry has to be there to get money Anne his family is hungry :(

26. “I don’t actually need your help.” “When’s the last time you drove a sleigh? Auctioned a horse? Let’s go.”

27. Diana giving her things to sell as well

28. Jerry knows how to drive a sleigh?????

29. “It’s not so bad to ask for help sometimes, y’know?” “If I needed help I would say so.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes, I would.” “Wouldn’t.” “Would! Times infinity.” “What???”

30. Jerry singing in French

31. “No singing. I mean it. I’m serious, Jerry! This is an important journey! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS!”

32. Jerry grinning as she gets madder

33. Anne bring mystified by the dress shop

34. “I’m here to return a dress.” Is something wrong with it?” “Not a thing.” “Do you not like it?” “It is my very favorite thing that I have ever possessed in life. But I need to return it to help my family.” “You’re Anne, Matthew’s Anne!” “I am! How nice it is to hear it said that way.”

35. Anne being upbeat until Jeannie asks what’s wrong and then ask just breaks down

36. Poor Jerry waiting outside in the snow for her

37. Either Matthew spent some much money on Anne’s dress or Jeannie gave her extra, or both

38. “Did Matthew really spend this much?..” “You’re worth a lot to him.”

39. “I hate to say goodbye…” “😏 I won’t be so long~” “To the HORSE, Jerry. Why are you so annoying.”

40. “You’re a good horse Birdie, try to remember that. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”

41. Birdie really is a beautiful horse though

42. Anne’s little “my parents are spies” act she uses on the pawn broker

43. The pawn broker is so understandable rude because of his profession, it makes him equally annoying and funny

44. “What a piece of work you are.”

45. Anne is so good at making up stories on the spot

46. “If you can’t afford it I completely understand.”

47. I love how snide remarks of “being a good Christian” are frequent and effective insults in the 1800’s

48. Poor Jerry doesn’t just get beaten up and robbed, he gets brutally beaten by two grown men and there’s nothing he can do despite that being… his last paycheck. That was the last income he was going to give his family and he’s so ashamed of himself that he keeps apologizing for it despite most of the money being his. He apologizes to Anne, to Matthew, it bothers him for months to come

49. Gilbert’s back!!

50. “Still seems unreal. Even though I just sold all our… everything.”

51. “He’s a good man.” “I love him with all my heart. I don’t know what if do if…”

52. Them arguing over not arguing

53. Anne apologizing

54. “Anyway…” “Anyway..”

55. I genuinely didn’t realize that the men who beat up Jerry are the same men that took in borders at green gables, I got the same face blindness as Jerry himself

56. “I’ve missed you.” “Yeah?” “At school, theres.. no one to compete with.” “”You want to spell out a few words for old times sake?” “How about… truce?”

57. Jerry thinking Gilbert was going to hurt Anne and take her money and immediately jumping in to stop him despite swaying on his feet

58. When Anne asks him if he’s okay he immediately starts apologizing about the money

59. “I don’t like the city.”

60. “Just take care of yourself, and come home someday.”

61. Anne and Gilbert staring at each other quietly

62. “This is a palace, not a house.”

63. Jerry assuming that they’ll make him sleep in the stable instead of inside the massive house

64. “I’ll look after belle.”

65. “This city is rife with ruffians!”

66. Aunt Josephine insisting on helping

67. Matthew lamenting his own life, talking of how his life insurance will give them a sizable sum and how he drags them down despite them needing him

68. “Anne loves you, you have to remember that.” “But her future…” “Which do you think she would choose, this house or you?”

69. Jerry bring terrified to stay in a room by himself because he’s always had his family around him

70. Anne making room for him only for him to sleep upside down

71. “Don’t worry, I don’t kick like my sisters.” “Yeah, you’d better not.”

72. “Everything will be alright. It’ll be alright..”

73. Aunt Josephine helping by paying for Jerry to work at Green Gables, as well as giving Anne books

74. “We’ve been together all these years, thick or thin, so don’t think I’ll put up with you slipping away now. Anne will be home today, and she’ll be very happy to see you.”

75. Matthew trying to kill himself because the life insurance would pay off the debt he caused

76. Jeannie happening to show up and find Matthew with the gun just in time as he tries to hide what he’s almost done from her, realizing what he’s done

77. The way they stress how his passing would effect Anne the most because of what they mean to each other, that she will suffer without him despite what he’s trying to do

78. “Don’t ever get old…” “Too late for that.”

79. “You would’ve left us that way!? Left me?..”

80. “Give it back. I won’t take charity.” “But.. love isn’t charity.” “I won’t take it.” “Nay I ask why not?” “We will not be pitied! I don’t want people thinking we can’t fend for ourselves.” “Well at the moment we can’t, and I’d sure give my last bit of strength or my last dollar to help a friend. Then I know that friend would feel grateful and loved above all else. And I do. I feel very grateful to have such a dear friend as Miss Barry. Sometimes you just have to let people love you Marilla.”

81. Anne selling her cleaning services to make steady income

82. “We’re rich, aren’t we Matthew?”

83. Jerry carving a star for the Christmas tree!!!!!!

84. Anne’s friends coming to sing carols at their house

85. Anne helping Matthew walk outside

86. Not Nate :(

87. Nathaniel, the bane of my existence

[furrycowboypeach]

car insurance : 10 questions with answers

Dear reader, we are honored to visit

our site

and hope to find everything you need in this article.

1.How does classic car insurance differ from conventional car insurance ?Classic car insurance will give you what the car is actually worth and or what you feel the car is worth. Conventional insurance will not. Let’s say you have a beautiful 1965 split window corvette. Maybe it’s worth a $100,000. Collection insurance will want photos of the car and maybe an inspection of the vehicle. Once they agree on the value your good to go. However there are rules, like limited miles you can drive, garage kept, they can be very picky. Regular insurance last I heard will give you blue book value. Do the research. There are some very good collection companies around.

Insurance companies and having fun with this.

The UK MOT test now has public information data about current and historical mileage.

Thus now we can see/prove/audit that there are many tens of thousands of old cherished cars - that literally do not move for years on end. (Less than 500 miles every 5 years).

Big data analysis will show clearly to insurance companies which classic cars are massively profitable to insure.

A mainstream loved semi-classic car has a market value of £4,000 or less. (eg. 18 year old Mercedes convertible) driven by a busy,, employed, 50 year old with 2+ cars

On fully comprehensive insurance - the risk held by the insurance company is £3.5K for total write off of the car and any 3rd party claims (on a vehicle that hardly moves). The risk to the policy owner is loss of 4 years no claims bonus and a 10+ year claim free profile.

Big data will show to the insurance companies that these are very profitable policies

2.Does the wrong address invalidate car insurance ?

That depends on why it is wrong. If you move, while you should notify your insurance company, but don’t you are more likely to get cancelled because you didn’t pay your mailed bill (assuming that is the option that you selected).

But if say that you live in Miami, Florida (the most expensive place in the state to get auto insurance, and you claim that you live just outside of DeFuniak Springs, Florida and then have an accident in Miami, Florida, the insurance company could say FRAUD and VOID your policy as if it never existed. Because you had an uninsured accident, you would probably lose your driver’s license until you made the other driver whole again! Short of that, it usually wouldn’t be considered Material, and they would back bill you for premium OR give you a refund.

3.Is rental car insurance a rip-off ?

yes and no.

if you are using your insurance and crash the rental car, you can be liable for the complete cost of repairs AND lost revenue while it is being repaired. this can be full price of the rental all the time it is being repaired. this can be a ton of cash. also if you chip the windshield the rental co can charge you for a complete new windshield or repair the that one. your insurance may or may not cover any or all of this. needless to say you will have to deal with it one way or another.

if you buy the EXPENSIVE rental car insurance you are covered for all damages including all the “little scratches”

i was 21 and rented a car to go to a job interview 2 day rental. well i put almost 1600 miles on the car. when i returned the rental agent was mad i had put that many miles on an unlimited rental. so she went out and nitpicked everything …. i just watched as she pointed bugs out as dents and everything else. when we went in she disappeared a returned with a 2400.00 repair dollar bill. and demanded how i was going to pay. i just said i paid the 15.00 for the full insurance and that would cover it , she grabbed the rental agreement and read it, her face turned red. and i left….

4.Is it okay to not have car insurance for a few months ?

Probably expecting a bit of heat for this one but here goes.. lol.

I live in Spain and about 14 years ago or so I was forced under pressure to get rid of the Suzuki jeep… which looked a fair bit like this I suppose. No power steering and the uncanny ability to just spin right around on itself in slightly greasy roads….

which had the widest back tyres I think I have ever seen on a car.., anyway, it had to go, saw an ad for a Mitsubishi Shogun , a lot like this

UK plates and only came with an export certificate from UK. Seems the guy who brought it over was intending to change it over to Spanish plates but never got round to it. Swapped the Suzuki plus 3 grand and off we went. First time I had driven an automatic, was a joy and no mistake…proper built like a tank too.. awesome car.

Drove that car for almost 8 years on that export certificate, no MOT and insurance papers I made my self on the computer by copying a mates documents and changing the pertinent details. Spanish cops had at that time.. and possibly still now, no way of actually checking the veracity of insurance papers, if they looked legit, they were accepted.

I understand that in the last few years DVLA having softened a little and offer a yes or no answer to Spanish enquiries as to whether a UK registered car has a valid MOT or not… no other info is given. I assume thats data protection at work or some such. Its that yes or no that has gotten rid of a load of UK plated cars from Spanish roads, now you actually have to have one, so either you know someone who has an MOT garage and can produce one for you or you drive back to get it done, which isnt usually viable.

So ye, its ok to not have insurance for a few months or even a few years, as long as you can get away with it.

5.Can realtors write off car insurance ?

It depends on the method they choose to use to write off their car expenses. If their car is used less than 50% for business, they must use the mileage method which includes all operating expenses including insurance. If they use it more than 50% they may choose to use the actual expense method or the mileage method. If they use the actual expense method they can deduct the business % of gas, repairs, interest, insurance, depreciation, etc. Either method requires them to keep a mileage log.

6.Does my car insurance cover my friend when they borrow my car for a day?

In the UK read your certifcate of motor insurance.

If it says

“Any person driving on the policyholder’s behalf or with their permission” or WTTE then they will be covered. (There may be age limits in the schedule of insurance but these cannot appear on the certificate). (Also cover will be for pleasure use only unless the wording on the certificate specifically includes business use by your friend).

If it does not say that then, unless your friend is named on the certificate of insurance, they are not covered under your policy.

This does not necessarily mean that they are uninsured when they drive your car, since they may have an insurance policy covereing their own car with the “driving other cars” extension. “The policyholder may drive, with the owner’s permission a car not belonging to the policyholder nor hired to him under a hire-purchase agreement”. If this clause is in effect it only covers their Road Traffic Act Liability and does not cover loss or damage to the car whilst in their control. Note that it is your duty to check this. If your friend doesn’t have such cover then you are ‘aiding and abetting’ a motor offence of driving without insurance - offence code IN12 - which will substantially increase your car insurance premium - despite the FCA announcements today.

7.Can a 19-year-old afford car insurance ?

Driving a car is a privilige, not a right.

Unless you are in gainful employment and living at home, I suspect you will have to rely on the bank of mum and dad. But if you think getting insurance at 19 is hard - imagine trying to get it at 17 and 18.

Many teenagers go with a company that assesses the premium based on information sent to them by a ‘black box’ added to the car. People who drive sensibly and only durting the day pay a lot less than those who drive recklessley and at night - even if the latter have no accidents.

The first year is by far the worst. If you go claim free for a year then no only will you be 20 rather than 19 - but you will have one years no claims discount - which will knock about a third off your premium.

(Oh and don’t try and pretend the car you drive is owned and registered with your parents and that your mother is the main user. Insurance companies are not stupid. People who own a vehicle one or two years old don’t normally decide to buy a second vehcile that is 10 years old for their own use.)

8.What are the worst car insurance companies in America ?

As others have alluded to, the whole insurance cabal and racket is on par with a level or two less integrity than the drug cartels run in Mexico and South America.

Still, some insurance companies make an effort to comply with law and regulation, while others just have a standard operating procedure to act like bad-faith criminals.

One company stands out as the worst of the worst:

Bristol West

If you bought insurance from these scoundrel's, do yourself a favor, and immediately change. But don’t change early, or you’ll pay outrageous cancellation.

If you get hit by someone with this insurance, put in your claim with your own insurance, or you’ll just be wasting your own time.

9.How much do I need to pay for car insurance ?

Without knowing where in the world that you live, nor your age, sex marital status, other drivers in your household, driving records, and car or cars you trying to insure.

You can't save time or money by asking an ambiguous non informational question here. You will have to do it the old fashioned way, calling around to agents or companies. You can also go online to the companies and agents but NOT TO THOSE SITES THAT PROMISE TO TELL YOU THAT THEY'LL TELL YOU EVERY COMPANY'S RATES. That is a LIE plus you are putting yourself at risk for identity theft, and here are the reasons:

None of these sites has ALL of the companies. They only show those companies paying them to be there.

Even if they show an Allstate, a Progressive and/or Geico, these companies all have multiple rating levels for different types of drivers from preferred for the very best risks down to theworst risks out there. Those kinds companies might only have one or two of their rating levels on each of these sites, so if you don't qualify for those that rating tiers you won't be given a rate from those companies. Likewise if the company that truly is cheapest for you didn't pay for that website to show their rates, you won't see them.

They will sell your personal information to multiple agents and/or companies. This means that you will be bombarded by people trying to sell you auto insurance.

And since they don't check that the person indeed buying the leads are insurance agents all of your personal information could end up in the hands of identity thieves.

NOTE: IDENTITY THEFT DOES NOT HAPPEN FROM INSURANCE COMPANY OR AGENT'S WEBSITES!

10.What do

sports

car

lovers need to know about car insurance ?

Find out how buying a sports car impacts on your car insurance, from cost to cover. There’s nothing specific you need to look for in an insurance policy on a sports car, per se, but it’s always a good idea to read the policy wording in advance if you have anything specific you want covered.

Some of us love football. Some of us love cricket. And some of us love motorsport. The sports we like are part of our identity, and if you’re a motorsport fan you might want to express that through your choice of car.

We’ve put together this short guide to help you better understand the implications of owning a sports car from an insurance point of view.

Find out how buying a sports car impacts on your car insurance, from cost to cover.

What to look for in an insurance policy on a sports car

There’s nothing specific you need to look for in an insurance policy on a sports car, per se, but it’s always a good idea to read the policy wording in advance if you have anything specific you want covered.

For instance, you might want to be sure you’re covered against vandalism or other such malicious damage to the tyres, paintwork or (on a cabriolet) the fabric roof.

Even if you’ve found a policy that covers every scenario you can imagine, you must fully disclose all details of the car to avoid having an insurance claim refused. This includes any optional extras or other modifications that have been made by you or a previous owner.

What qualifies as a sports car ?

For the purposes of insurance underwriting, Admiral defines sports cars as cars designed as performance vehicles ‘from the get-go’: things like coupes, roadsters and GTs.

Having said that, your car may be considered a sports car even if it doesn’t fall into one of these categories.

Car manufacturers recognised years ago the demand for high-performance cars which were practical and spacious enough for the real world – cars for people with children and hobbies, essentially.

Traditional sports cars are designed to be lightweight, compact and aerodynamic, but this usually means a cramped interior and little or no luggage space.

So, over the years, and with changing attitudes towards what ‘sporty’ means, we’ve seen the arrival of the hot hatchback (as defined by the iconic VW Golf GTI), the sports saloon (think BMW M5) and, more recently, the performance SUV (such as the Porsche Cayenne).

Why is insurance on sports cars more expensive ?

Every new car is placed into an insurance group based on the risk associated with it, and risk is calculated using statistics about past claims on similar cars. Risk takes into account both how likely you are to make a claim, and how much it could cost to put right if you do.

When it comes to sports cars, the first (and perhaps most obvious) thing insurers look at is their performance. Many sports cars are fitted with engines that provide rapid acceleration and high top speeds.

And they’re engineered to mimic the driving characteristics of racing cars, with responsive handling and potent brakes – all designed to help you carry as much speed into, through, and out of corners as possible. All of which increases your likelihood of being involved in an accident.

They are also, often, more expensive to repair or replace, because of their high sale prices or because parts are more specialised. And they may present a more irresistible temptation to thieves, making a theft claim more likely.

What are the cheapest sports cars to insure ?

We've compiled a list of the 10 sports cars with the cheapest average premium between January and March 2021.

Of course, the car itself is only one of the factors used in calculating premiums, so the characteristics of the average owner of these cars (including age, driving history and No Claims Bonus) could explain why the premiums are so affordable.

The models listed combine cars of all ages and values, including both hard-top and roadster equivalents sharing the same name.

Porsche Boxster - £404.04

BMW Z4 - £437.52

Polestar 2 - £446.07

Mazda MX-5 - £451.80

Porsche Cayman - £488.42

Porsche 911 - £509.19

Porsche Macan - £518.03

Nissan GT-R - £582.02

Toyota MR2 - £586.39

Ford Mustang - £586.77

After you've finished reading, we hope you've benefited. And we invite you to comment in your opinion. And we're happy with that, and we love reading it.

[the-steve-stevenson-experience]

Dress For Where You Are Going, Not For Where You've Been

Day 7:

It’s my last day here. My plan is to rent a cart and go exploring. But first, I have to go get a goddamned Covid test. I need that to get back into the United States. I have to pay for it too. I think it’s weird that I can get into Belize with just my vaccination card, but need a test, even though I have been vaccinated, to get back. I have it scheduled for noon. I have plenty of time to grab some breakfast on the way. I’m not really used to how quickly I can get around on foot here. Even with my blistered-up foot, I can still get to about anywhere I’m going to go by walking in like ten minutes. It’s not easy walking around here. There are no sidewalks, well almost no sidewalks. There are no crosswalks so you just have to look, find a gap and hope for the best. I will say, that as chaotic as traffic may seem here, I have seen zero accidents. Or road rage now that I think about it. In the States everything is regulated, and we have rules to follow, and we have more accidents than I have seen here in a whole week. Now, to be fair, I haven’t been everywhere and have seen everything, so there could have been some shit go down that I am unaware of. I guess if there are no laws to break, people don’t break them. I will say this out of my own experience here, I am well aware that it’s chaotic as fuck, so I am extra alert.

I went to Rock’s Golf Carts and rented one for the rest of the day. I still paid the “daily” price of $50 BLZ or $25 US for the eight or so hours that were left in the day. I went back to the condo to get a swim suit and a towel and whatever other things I thought I might need. I then meandered my way through San Pedro town to the south end, and beyond. My plan was to go as far as the road would let me. I was exploring, but also looking for some beachy beach to hang out at, maybe swim, get some Caribbean Sea time in. Ya know? I found nothing of the sort. All of the beach that I have found in and around San Pedro is the same. Shallow, spots of seaweed, and not great for swimming, of chillin’ on the beach. There are some spots where it is conducive to chillin’ on the beach, but not many. As I have mentioned, this is just not that place. This is a boat place. And, that’s fine, I just have to keep that in mind.

My adventures took me pretty much to the southern tip of Ambergris Caye. The road literally ended at this new, unfinished construction of some new resort. No one was there working, so I don’t know if work has been halted, of they were all done for the day or what. I took some small roads up to the shore, and found where all the mosquitos and other bugs were. I didn’t stay too long hanging by the ocean. I saw some iguanas, and birds. Bugs, lizards, and birds, that’s the wildlife I saw. I even saw a roadkill iguana. There are some nice condo buildings, and houses out that way. They seem pretty isolated, but they aren’t far from town. The road got worse the further I went. Golf carts got no chill, man. That shit beat me up good. The sun was just right so that all the way back to town I could not get my left arm out of it. So, I will have a nice lopsided tan in a day or so. After what seemed like all day I got back to the pad, and noticed this big adventure took all of about two hours. It was nice to stop and relax in the air conditioning.

At some point it occurred to me that I had paid for this cart, so I had better go drive somewhere. There is a lot more Ambergris Caye north of San Pedro than there is south. Natasha and I went north a little bit, a few miles at most, like maybe three. You could drive all the way to Mexico if you wanted to. I was not feeling that. There is also a whole other side to the caye. There is more of that up north too. There are resorts and things. There is this bay that runs between Ambergris and the mainland of Belize, and Mexico. The Mexican city of Chetumal, and the Belizean city of Corozal are in that bay. I don’t know what it’s called. I think I did once, but not right now.

I ended up driving around San Pedro practicing not getting into golf cart wrecks. I had been wanting a slice of pizza, so I went to this joint, Pirate Pizza. Not the best, also not the worst. They only took cash, and I had precious little of that. I used up all my cash, the few Belizean dollars and the one US dollar I had. I drove around some more, and decided to stop at this coffee shop I have been walking by. I got a bottle of water and a smoothie. Smoothies are big here. I sat in their AC and drank my smoothie. The clerk didn’t charge me, not that I thought she was giving it to me, she just wasn’t in a huge hurry to get my money. I went up to pay and they don’t take cards! And, I had just used the rest of my cash on that pizza slice. She was so cool. She said, just come back in when you have some. I was like, wut? She reiterated, just stop in when you have some. It’s ok. I thought I should tell her that I’m leaving tomorrow, and that I would not, in all likelihood, be able to stop back by when I finally had some cash. I left, took the unopened water bottle with me, and started to drive to the pad. I saw the Belize Bank and decided to try to get cash with my credit card, even though that never works for me. And, it didn’t. I drove to the condo determined to get this girl her cash. I got online and set up a cash advance P. I. N. and went back to the bank. It worked! I got more than I needed, and didn’t think about how I was going to pay the cab from the ferry to the airport tomorrow, but that is another story for another day.

I went back to the little coffee shop and went up to the girl and gave here what I owed her. I told her I was leaving tomorrow and this would be the only time I could pay her. She didn’t even blink. She said thanks, and have a safe trip. She is the coolest. Then I went to dinner at this restaurant in Ramone’s Village. Ramone’s Village is this massive resort right in town. They have their own dive shop, gift shop, restaurant, and the whole place is covered in palm trees and other various vegetation so that it looks like you are in the jungle. It has a pretty cool history too. Originally it was built by some people back in 1961. The day after it was completed, Hurricane Hattie (the same one that maybe, or maybe not caused the Split on Caye Caulker) came through and fucked it all up. It sat buried in the sand for like twenty years. These guys from Mississippi I think, had been coming down to San Pedro to dive, and they would get this guy Ramone to be their guide. He ended up telling them about the ruins of this resort. Long story short, they bought it and rebuilt it, but they wanted Ramone to run it. And, that’s why it’s called Ramone’s. I know some other guy from the States ended up with after that, but the server came for my order and took my menu that had this story on it away. Anyway, good food. Oh, and I ended up sitting next to a lawyer and his wife. They were from Long Island. They were fun.

[generaldisdainn]

Four of a Kind

AO3 link

Rating: MA (for eventual smut)

Summary:  After accepting a job as the head of marketing for a local animal shelter, Anna finds herself in a new city in need of a place to live. Luckily, 3 guys know just the place.

Previous chapter

Chapter 3

“You’re cheating.”

Kristoff was staring at nothing, lost in a memory.

“Kristoff, I’m your friend.”

He would never forget those words.

“Kristoff!” he heard, accompanied by a snap. Suddenly he was back in the present.

“Uh, what?”

“Ryder accused me of cheating, back me up here, bud!” Sven said. “I would never cheat against my three favorite people in the entire world.”

“You absolutely would,” Kristoff responded without missing a beat.

“See?” Ryder said to Sven. “Seems like I’m Kristoff’s better friend.”

“Impossible, I refuse to believe it,” Sven said in an exaggerated French accent.

“Actually,” Anna interjected, “I saw you taking money out of the bank.”

“Wha-a-a-at? No-o-o-o!” Sven denied emphatically.

“Sven, come on,” Ryder said. “How is it that you have just as much money as when we started but you have six properties?”

“Yeah, alright, fine,” Sven conceded. He began to return the money he stole, mumbling curses under his breath.

“Okay, Anna, your turn,” Ryder said.

This was surreal to Anna. She had only known these guys for three days, but she was eight rounds deep in a game of Monopoly with them tonight. She had great first impressions with Sven and Ryder, and a half-decent second impression with Kristoff who, to her, was the easiest of the three of them to look at. With every passing moment, she was even more sure she made the right decision by moving in with them.

“Okay, I’ll remember to roll both dice this time,” Anna said with unwavering confidence. “Woo-hoo, ten!” she yelled. She picked up the little chrome terrier and tapped it on every space in front of it. “One, two, three, four…”

Kristoff rubbed his face. “Anna, I told you, there are ten spaces on every side, you don’t have to-“ He was abruptly cut off by Sven slapping his knee.

“Let her!” Sven hissed, enunciating each word separately. Kristoff raised his hands.

“Alright, if you all are okay with not sleeping tonight…”

“Look, I got there eventually, right?” Anna said as she placed her token on the B & O Railroad. “Does anyone have this?”

“Nope,” Ryder said. “It’s all yours.”

“Nice!” She looked closely at the space on the board. “It’s 200 dollars, right?”

“All railroads are 200 dollars,” Kristoff complained.

“Okay, well, I didn’t know.” She gathered up the money and handed it to Sven. “B & O Railroad, ple-e-ease.”

“My pleasure,” Sven responded. “By the way, since you own two railroads now, the rent for both is 50 dollars.”

“She knows,” Kristoff said.

“Actually,” Anna interjected, “I didn’t know. Thank you, Sven.”

Sven responded with a little flourish.

“But we told you at the beginning of the game,” Kristoff countered

“Oh, you did?” Anna said sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Anna, you have to pay attention if we’re gonna play games with you.”

“Okay, but I’ve never played this before,” Anna reasoned.

“How have you never played Monopoly?”

“Come on, Kristoff,” Ryder said, “can’t you be patient?”

“Why is everyone mad at me now?” Kristoff asked.

Sven butted in to try to ease the tension. “No one’s mad at you, Kris.”

Kristoff turned to Sven. “You hit me, like, thirty seconds ago!”

“Because you were being a baby!”

“I told you guys we should’ve played Sorry,” Ryder said, crossing his arms and pouting his lips, clearly upset that “loft game night,” as Sven called it, was turning into an argument.

“Look, Monopoly is a high stakes game, I understand why some of us-” Sven began, turning his gaze to Kristoff. “-are stressed.”

“I’m not stressed,” Kristoff grumbled under his breath.

Anna glanced at him and took in his hunched over posture and crossed arms, wondering if he was just playing it up for laughs or if he was really bothered by this whole thing.

“Let’s just start over,” Sven suggested.

Anna, Ryder, and Kristoff simultaneously let out noises of protest.

“I meant,” Sven said, raising a hand to silence his roommates. “Let’s just calm down and refresh, not start the whole game over. Geez.” Sven let out a small huff of frustration. “Now, where were we?”

“I think I’m buying the B & O Railroad,” Anna said.

Sven replied with an easy smile. “200 smackers, please.”

The rest of the game went smoothly. Kristoff still commented on how Anna counted every space for every turn, and she still fumbled with her bank money, but throughout the game, they laughed and poked fun at each other all the same. Still, Anna couldn’t shake the feeling that something was bothering Kristoff. Sven turned a sympathetic gaze to him every so often, only fueling her suspicion that something was up with him. Anna couldn’t help but feel like somehow it was her fault.

“Alright, I’m done,” Sven said, placing his money down on the board. They had to have been playing for at least an hour, and they were no closer to the end than they had been at the start.

“Me too,” Ryder echoed.

“Thank god,” Kristoff sighed dramatically, throwing his money down to mingle with Sven and Ryder’s on the middle of the board. “I was getting my ass handed to me.”

“Well, I guess that means Anna wins,” Sven said, turning to her.

“Wait, what?” Anna responded incredulously.

“You’re the only one who didn’t just throw your money down, so by all accounts, you’re our winner.”

Anna knew it was a shallow victory, but she still felt exhilarated not only to have won but also to have been included in their game night at all.

“Congrats, Anna!” Ryder said, earnestly. “I gotta turn in though. I have an early day tomorrow.” Ryder stood up and brushed himself off. “This was fun. Although not as fun as Sorry would have been, just saying.”

“Yeah, yeah, sleep tight, asshole,” Sven snorted, waving his hand at him dismissively.

Ryder put his hands up in mock defeat and headed off to his room.

“I have to turn in too, actually,” Sven started, patting his knees and standing up. He stretched back and let out a satisfied grunt as his back cracked. “Kris, it’s your turn to clean up.”

“Yup, just like it is every game night, huh?”

“Naturally,” Sven countered, turning to walk to his room.

Kristoff rolled his eyes. Suddenly, it was just the two of them. It felt like the room had been pulled into silence.

Kristoff began picking up the pieces, the crinkling of the paper money, and the clinking of the tiny game pieces the only sounds in the room.

Anna began to help, leaning forward and placing the money in stacks and folding up the game board. The silence was killing her.

“Hey, I’m sorry about being bad at the game. I really hadn’t played it before tonight.”

Kristoff cleared his throat. “No, uh, don’t worry about it. Seriously. I’m sorry for being so...” He paused as if to mull over which word to use. “...grumpy.”

“You’re fine. If you’re grumpy enough, it starts to seem normal for you.”

“Oh, uh…” Kristoff didn’t want to be known to Anna as the grumpy one. “...I don’t mean to--I mean, I didn’t mean to-”

“Kristoff, seriously, don’t worry about it. Where do these go?” Anna asked, holding up the stack of property cards.

“In that slot there. I just…”  Kristoff hadn’t tried to make her feel bad. He wasn’t a very patient person to begin with, but the unpleasant memory from the beginning of the evening had seeped into the rest of the night and put him on edge even more so than usual. He just felt like an asshole. He watched her shuffle the four piles of money together and begin to sort them into their colors. Of course, he thought Anna was cute, but it wasn’t until just now--noticing how her fiery red hair fell along the subtle curve of her back and waist, how the freckles on her nose and cheeks highlighted her pale skin and radiant blue eyes, and how her navy blue leggings left virtually nothing to the imagination--that he realized he found her so attractive it was borderline insensible.

“...Yes?” Anna asked.

Kristoff snapped out of his daze. “Oh, right, uh...I just hope you know I’m not grumpy all the time.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’re not!” Anna offered Kristoff a gentle smile. “Just most of the time.” Her sweet smile turned mischievous.

Kristoff smiled and looked away. He didn’t want to be into a girl, let alone his roommate, so soon after his last relationship, but he was finding it hard to fight his feelings- the easy way she smiled at him, how she went out of her way to be nice to him despite his tendency to act standoffish. He missed being in a relationship, too. He brushed the thoughts aside. Despite his feelings, he wasn’t ready or willing to get into anything again anytime in the near future.

“Listen, you don’t have to be nice to me just because you’re new,” Kristoff said. He felt guilty for how nice she was being to him. He didn't want her to feel like she had to do that.

Anna gave him a sideways look. “...Okay? Can I be nice to you anyway?”

“Well, yeah, but you don’t have to force it.”

“I’m not.”

“I know, but-”

“Do you think I’m not nice normally?”

“No, that’s not it, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

Kristoff paused. “...Nothing. I’m happy you’re nice to me.” He closed the game box and headed toward his room. “‘Night, Anna.”

“Oh, okay. Goodnight, Kristoff.” Anna picked up the box and returned it to its spot on the shelf, all the while gazing puzzledly at Kristoff’s ambling form until he entered his room and shut the door.

She still didn’t get him. Sven and Ryder were pretty easy to like and, from there, easy to become friends with. Kristoff, though, was a whole different story. He seemed to get along with Sven and Ryder just fine; at least, that’s what she gathered from her relatively short time living here. She just couldn’t figure out why he was so cold to her whenever the four of them were together but would warm up to her noticeably whenever it was only the two of them. Did he see her differently than he saw Sven and Ryder just because she’s a girl? Or did he just not know her well and didn’t know how to behave around her? She shook her head. She knew she was overthinking this. She decided she was just going to try to be as friendly as she could to him, regardless of how he treated her.

After all, she couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to sleep with him.

* * *

Kristoff was kicking himself for every moment of game night. First, he got lost in a bad memory, then he made Anna feel bad about taking her time to learn the game, then after the game, he ogled her (and there was no way Anna didn’t notice that), and finally, he panicked and bailed on their conversation. Was it going to be this hard all the time to be around her? To balance his friendship with Sven and Ryder with his attraction to Anna? He decided it would be easier to just not try very hard when he was with her. He’d be nice, but not so nice that it seemed unnatural. It was more important that she felt comfortable rather than liked him specifically.

Even after all that, as he laid in his bed that night, he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to sleep with her.

[hereyougopeanutbutter]

Winners

Winners

 Pony stays in the other section of the building. She said it was a different Panda division but when I asked her what it looked like she texted back ‘worktables with beds, there are about 24 others and no one talks’

The same as in my section. There are 20 of us. And about 50 writing tables. I’m in the front on the left, close to the door. The walls are covered with brown wooden panels dating back to the previous century I believe, in the corner long rectangle speakers and on the front wall two ShunSha LED screens which tell us the weather and switch to the Panda statement, our commitment to Panda and the recognition we will get if we get through. I turn my eyes away. I better focus on what I need to do.

In the morning, they serve breakfast on the side of the room, on large tables. White and brown bread with marmalade, peanut butter, and chocolate sprinkles with butter on shelves. Slices of cheese and bacon in plastic containers. Same at noon. For supper, big pans of stew are rolled in, with whitebread and spoons.

We are not allowed to go to the sleeping section after 8.30 am. In the evenings, everybody crashes on their beds, grabs their cell phones, some bottles of alcohol or other drinks, some smoke cigarettes from the windows in the toilets. I don’t pay attention to them, most of the time I’m in bed right after  8 pm.

 In the morning I eat my sandwich, I like the marmalade and I eat a sandwich while I prepare a peanut butter and gelly one for while I’m working. It’s not allowed but they let me. I also keep my phone with me while working.

“Reached 40,000” Pony texted, “revision going well?”

“Edited up to six chapters, think I’m going to make it.”

“Good. Good. Think of you, go go go Pigtails, love you”

“Need help?”

But Ponytail doesn’t answer. 40,000 words and only 3 more weeks to go.

   In the morning the fear that filled my heart the evening before comes up almost instantly when I wake up. I dreamt about her, how we were swimming in the roaring waters of the Mississippi. “M-I-S-S-I-S-S-P-P-I,” she said as water gulped in her mouth. “Pony, you need to swim, cut the crap” I shouted. “M-I-S-S…” but she didn’t get any further, the part of the river was loud and I had a hard time pulling her up above the water and keeping alive myself.

My little sister, Justine, the tiny baby born when I was four. Her body frame stayed small and frail. When she was young she started calling me Pigtails instead of Amanda. I liked pigtails in my hair. Tamara became Pinky, Tamara loved her pink leggings. She asked Justine how we should call her and Justine fluttered the peaking hair on her head. Mom had tried to created ponytails on either side of her head. “Ponytails!” And from that moment on we were there, ponytails, pigtails and pinky, later Pony, Pig and Pinky.  

“You’ll get it done?” I text. The ward comes in slamming the bell and just to avoid the noise everybody walks to their working tables to start up their word processors, ugly old Dynamics. Mine hums during the day, I listen to it as the clicking of my keys moves along.

“Get started sunshines, poop out the books and go for the million!” the ward shouted as loud as he could over the bell. “People are anxious for your books, com’on, we’re halfway there, three more weeks!”

My phone buzzes “I might”.

 On the wall the screen turns on, bright white, two of them showing one image, the table with the chair, cut in half by the black plastic borders of the SunShu. But we know. Fear sets in the group, we all look around and count. We are still with 20. It must be from the other group. I look at my phone but the ward is still close and he might see me. My fingers slowly tick on the screen ‘y-o-u 0-k-a-y?’ and press send. Pony sends back a ‘y’

The Panda declaration about how we signed up for writing the next bestseller comes up. How we committed to a good sellable story and how the first draft was due in 6 weeks with at least 100,000 words. Panda would help us. Panda guarantees sales of 50,000 copies to all Panda members around the world and oh just so you know Panda has 31,000 active daily accounts. Daily

“We will change your life” it then said. One sentence. “And you agreed we could have it if you fail”

 I don’t recognize the person. She fights the two men who hold her upper arms, we hear ‘No, no!’ but the men guide her to a table where her head is pushed down on the table. A third person behind the chair walks up and pushes the muzzle again the back of her neck. I close my eyes and try not to hear the echoing bang.

 My editing work goes in trembling episodes that day. The killings. The killing is a condition. Panda’s idea of motivating. I think of my mother. I think of Pinkytail and Ponytail, Pinky who went into options trading, and Pony who said she could write a winning Panda book but said last week she was struggling, I can’t worry about her because I need to get my book done.

 This is my second run. I got through the first run and went home. They all hugged me. The money, Panda’s money was in my bank account already, 99,000 dollars. Pinky hugged me and we both cried. We didn’t tell Pony but let her tag along when we picked up mom’s wheelchair, the three of us in the truck, singing and laughing. Pony cried when I paid for the wheelchair in the store, asking ‘where did you get the money, where did you get it?’ and I said I finished a Panda session. Pony burst out in crying. Couldn’t stop. Even in the car home she kept saying ‘That’s where you were, I was wondering what happened. You could have been killed Pigs, don’t ever do that again!” But I hugged her and we both cried. We bought cranberries at the farm store and we ate ice cream on the bench, we overlooked the land and the sun shone, we looked at each other and there was nothing more than love and gratitude. They didn’t know I had already signed up to go back. The edited version – once approved by Panda – would pay me $499,999.-.

Enough to buy mom and all of us a new future. We could move.

 The next day, I wake up refreshed. I am not sure what has caused this but I decide to take the sweep of energy and get to work at my desk. The others complain and wipe their eyes, two of them pout about not hitting their targets but I block it out. Two double sandwiches, one with cheese and bacon, the other a peanut butter and gelly sit on my desk. I work through two chapters stringently blocking out the ward with the bell, blocking out my hunger and my tea getting cold. I read the words and weigh them in my head, re-create sentences and my muse works in the background, it’s just him and me. When I take a sip of my tea I notice it’s cold. I take a bite of my sandwich, afraid I will lose the zone I’m in if I eat more. I write like I did when I was younger, pumping out words that came to mind, the movie continued endlessly and went as fast as my fingers could keep up. For my mom. My mom, I see her at her sewing machine, winding a bobbin and working on my favorite blouse.

Before lunch I have 8 chapters done. They bring in the lunch, the bread, the bacon, and the cheese. I ate my breakfast about an hour ago but I’m hungry again.

“They brought me in,” Pony’s text says.

My hands tremble. Pony got her warning. “How far are you?”

“40k”

I look at my phone. She was at 40k yesterday, she was supposed to be at at least 50,000 words.

“You said you could do it”

“I’m scared Pigs”

Fear fills my gut. I panic. They read her work last night, they always do. Based on their algorithms they have determined Pony is in the danger zone and she needs to make up at least 50%. There is one next warning. I think of Pinky and the story I was writing on at home.

 I looked to the others in my room. Some are comfortable. With headphones in and others biting their nails as they write, some panic, some pound out the words. I text Pony but she doesn’t answer back.

 I eat lunch. My brain is on overdrive. I walk around the room, it’s air-conditioned but the weather outside is warm. Then Pinky texts me. I cannot look at my phone at the lunch table when the staff is there so I need to get to my desk. I chew quickly and glob down some tea. I try to make it look casual as I walk to my desk and start to type a document so it seems I’m back to work.

Pinky says: “I sent you the story, does Pony know how to decrypt? If they find out…” I see the paperclip friendly blinking in a corner. I only have to resend it to Pony. But then the door opens and Simone steps in, she looks at me with an iron smile saying ‘Come with me please’. I freeze. The others are silent and I don’t know what’s wrong. I go into the office where I signed my contract with Panda, I remember sitting here, the pen on a chain is still there.

“We are following your progress, Amanda. You are doing very well and we wondering if you’d be done by next week at this pace?”

I look up to Simone. There must have been a beautiful woman at one point I guess. Now she turned older. And less caring.

“Don’t I have 2 more weeks?”

“You do, you do. But we can get in print quicker if you want”, Amanda twists her pencil, “there could be a bonus.”

I’m silent.

“You’ll get 50,000 more”

I overthink the situation. Suddenly I don’t care about the money anymore and grab all my courage “How much does it cost me to get Pony out?”

“And your work is done?”

Is she going to say they’d take my book and we both walk? I would agree. But no matter how hard it is to stay quiet, I say nothing.

Simone doesn’t need to talk this over, she makes the decisions herself. I wonder if she is maybe the manager of Panda Books herself. She says, “Finish her story as well?”

I do the math. Two weeks and some days to finish the story. They read Pony’s story so I have to go with that, I can’t change it. I think.

Panda publishes the “Dead Man’s Anthology”, the stories from the killed authors. Unfinished stories. It sells like crazy, sometimes better than the books of the winners. Panda is in for the money. The killing is a marketing tool for them. They are the only ones with a license from the government on the condition that Panda pays the family of the writers 30%.

If I can’t produce 30,000 words per week I’ll die. With Pony. While we came here to save our mother. Get a better life. If we were to stay over the weekend I’d have to finish my book and write another 5000 words on Pony’s story. My answer not only determines the rest of my life. Pony’s as well.  And the rest of the family.

Then Simone looks up. “It looks like you don’t have to decide Amanda, your sister has committed to finishing the story, I just got the message.”

“Committed?”

“She is at work right now and their ward says she’s doing good.”

I leave. Get back to my desk, the others look at me. I was never aware Pony was there until she texted me on the first day, four weeks ago. I was shocked. She said she had hoped she would in my group but Panda put her in the other group. Panda made publishers aware that they had two of the Peterson sisters writing stories and there were betting games on who would sell the best books. But Pony wasn’t a writer. Pinky read hers once and said it was fluff. She wouldn’t survive Panda’s One Million Dollar Writing Camp. But on the first day already had 30 million viewers per day. Sales skyrocketed. Said Pinky.

 ‘Why are you here?” I asked

“I want to help you. Do what you do”

“You’ll get yourself killed”

“You didn’t get killed.”

And I almost wanted to write ‘I can write’ but I didn’t. I didn’t sleep that first night. My sister Ponytails was here too, I tried not to get sick but it cost me 2 days to stop thinking about Pony.

 Pony didn’t answer my texts after my meeting with Simone. I finished my book four days early and Pinky kept me in the loop about the contest on the outside. Bidding was way up in my favor.

 I make the last revisions to my story. The bright white screen comes on every day but I ignore it. I push the ear-thing inside my ear every time so I can block it out. I block out the ward in the morning as I revise my story.

Pinky tells me Pony and I are tied. I block that out as well, this is madness, I will never sign up for a Panda writing if we make it out alive.

On the last day, the screen comes on but now it’s black.

We look at each other, 17 left from our group.

From the screen in high definition I can hear Pony ‘I couldn’t make it. Go Pigtails, go’ and the click is silent but deafening. I scream, I cry, They killed Pony? They killed my sister! We were tied!

 My book sells well.

Pony’s sells better. It was the only one sold as a separate book. Pony’s share floats into our bank account.

Panda’s show brings in millions.

My family moves. We do get a better house, and my mother gets better. We bury Pony, Pony gave us a better life. Pony outsmarted us all.  

[thebestchoice]

Martin Lewis lends a hand to British families with Revolutionary Bitcoin Home Based Opportunity

'Brits Are Using This to Make An Average Of £2,265/day And Quitting Their Jobs!'

Martin Lewis OBE has had quite the career, founding moneysavingexpert.com back in 2003 and becoming known widely across the UK as the go-to-man for honest money advise. However, in the last week information was leaked about Lewis's latest success in Bitcoin Trading - an area he'd previously advised the British Nation to be cautious of.

READ MORE

"I just couldn't ignore it anymore!" Lewis told Rose Hill, Daily Mirror. "I get so many messages through social media asking about Bitcoin, from people sharing their challenges with money, amongst other things. This whole system came about purely out of my obesession to want to help more british families become financially stable"

The new venture is called Crypto Engine, and although he didn't come up with the idea, he's invested an estimated £1.2m of his own money into the software which enables anyone to trade Bitcoin profitably.

In a recent interview with Forbes, Martin revealed that more than half his business income for 2017 came from investing in one Bitcoin system. His Bitcoin profits reportedly exceeded revenues from the hugely successful moneysavingexpert.com website.

READ MORE

"No one seems to have enough money, and I believe this is the solution people have been waiting for" said Martin. After 'experimenting' with multiple Cryptocurrencies; he explained: "I think Bitcoin is better than currency. People know how much I hate huge companies controlling everything, and this new 'Crypto world' seems to be giving hard working, less fortunate people, a chance at creating financial freedom.

Political Unrest all over the world has caused people to look for a safe and stable asset, this has driven the demand for Bitcoin in the process; it's completely decentralized and gives you full autonomy and protection over your funds for the first time ever, which Lewis suggests is just what the UK needs for it's economy struggles.

"Bitcoin has increased in value by over 3000% in the last few years alone. The Crypto World is exploding with potential right now - this is the time to start and profit!"

In a recent interview, Lewis said how he came across the opportunity which is available to everyone right now: "When I heard the idea, I just knew I had to be a part of it. We're going to change the lives of thousands of British people forever. I couldn't be more excited!"

Here's why: "A new way to live has emerged that 99.9% of the UK's population is unaware of. Times are tough, taxes are high and jobs are scarce. This program will give you access to this new economy and the opportunity to be your own boss. Literally anyone can begin taking advantage of this and make proper money from the comfort of their own home.

"If you had invested just $100 in Bitcoin back in 2010 you would now enjoy dividends of $75 Million Dollars!"

Lewis says: "It's a controversial investment, because the world banking community does not want the average worker to have access to this much wealth outside of the system. They literally hate me for investing in this!, but they'll hate me even more for bringing it to everyone's attention" - Lewis laughed.

Lewis says Banks hate him for making Bitcoin trading accessible for 'regular' people. (Image: Daily Mirror)

Here's the deal: The program is gaining major popularity and the results are astonishing. Lewis explains how "timing is key with an opportunity like this and sadly the window for this is this is pretty small; many British people will miss out. There really is just a few months or even weeks left to rake in that holiday money." Economists are urging people to "Start Now!"

Sound too good to be true? That's what single mum, Fiona Presley from Stevenage, initially thought too. Fiona is a 37-year-old mother of 2 boys who lost her job last October. She was lucky enough to be invited to beta test the program in January this year after stumbling across an ad on Facebook.

Fiona Presley, Mother of 2, was initially skeptical of this make-money-from-home opportunity, but it turned out to be the "best decision of her life" (Image: Daily Mirror)

Fiona admits: "At first, I thought this was a joke. Making money from home is only a dream, but I decided to try it anyway given my circumstances. I watched this video and then signed up. It was actually kinda fun learning something new. Money was flowing into my account, I didn't believe it was real. I was skeptical that I would receive a payout!"

Crypto Engine now pays Fiona every Monday morning." (Image: Daily Mirror)

READ MORE

"I now earn really good money just to work from home every day...and I get paid every Monday morning... I make around £7,000 a month right now and it's creeping up every week. I receive my Bitcoin straight to my wallet, and if I need quick access I can transfer cash directly to my bank account by direct deposit, but I also have the option of Paypal or Cheque too!

What exactly is Fiona paid to do? She says, "Essentially this new economy is Crypto Engine Auto Trading. You can trade it like stocks, but because it's a completely untapped market, there's no competition. I'm scooping up cash like ice cream. It's such a good time to be doing this and although I did my best to shield my kids from my challenges, they can clearly now see how much happier mummy is, and their toy cupboard is well stocked!"

What you need: Only a computer, smartphone, or tablet with internet access. You don't need any specific skills other than knowing how to use a computer and browsing the internet. Another perk of this program is you get to choose your own hours. You can work completely on your own schedule- whether that's 5 hours a week or 50 hours a week. Absolutely no selling or telemarketing involved!

To save our reader's time and double check the Crypto Engine's functionality, Fiona kindly created a guide to getting started on the system.

Here's her step-by-step walkthrough:

START NOW

First thing you see is a video showing off Crypto Engine in all of its glory. The advertising is big and bold and in your face but it is an American product and that's how they do things. Anyway, you simply submit your name and email address below the video to get started.

Next up, you're asked to��fund your account. As I was navigating the deposit page, my mobile rang. It was an international number so I was hesitant to answer but then I realised it was obviously from Crypto Engine. Sure enough, it was my own personal account manager. His service was great. He took me through the entire funding process. They accept all major credit cards like Visa, MasterCard and American Express. I went ahead and deposited the minimum amount which is around £180 or $250 cause the platform works in US Dollars.

Once funded, I navigated to the "Auto-Trader" section of software, set the trade amount to the recommended $50 and enabled it. The Crypto Engine software started making trades at a rapid rate and I was concerned at first but let it do its thing. I left it active for about an hour and went and watched TV. When I came back, my account balance read $1,592.37! That's £1,127! I had just turned £180 into £1,127 in the space of an hour!

Lewis says: he's inspired by the success so many are having with this, and hopes a renewed sense of optimism will sweep the nation as it gains momentum and more people reap the rewards for "seeing what I see here".

Try Crypto Engine Now 

[whyamistillwatchingtheseshows]

Mingkit and suck it cause I totally think Kit is secretly competitive. Just imagine Kit wins monopoly or some stupid bet and him just yelling suck it at the rest of the gang.

Anon my family and I make up rules to monopoly that do not follow how the game is supposed to be played. Also, suspend the disbelief if my math or knowledge of the monopoly board is innaccurate. However, please enjoy.

“Pay up,” Kit eyed Beam who just landed on Boardwalk, his property. “Come on, it’s just the rent price. Wait until I add hotels.”

Everyone rolled their eyes. Kit was dominating the game. They couldn’t say much. Whatever strategy he had in mind kept money in his hands. Beam forked over the money and now it was Ming’s turn. He rolled the dice just right to pass the corner Kit owned. He stuck out his tongue.

“Be careful with that tongue mister,” Kit warned him.

“Don’t start,” Pha warned. “None of that during this game night.” He picked up the dice once Ming finished up. He rolled the number he wanted so he now could buy the third of his orange properties. He exchanged the money for property. Wayo was strictly the banker, he didn’t really want to actually play. Forth was next. He snatched the dice and wished for the Free Parking jack pot they started in the middle of the board. His poor boyfriend put in most of the money because he kept getting cards or landing on spots to make him pay fees.

“Yes!” Forth exclaimed. He grabbed the money and started facetiously counting it in Kit’s face. It was enough to slightly change the game, but Kit wasn’t worried. Forth would pay up at the corner he had owned. Unfortunately, Kit was so caught up in winning that he hadn’t noticed Ming buying several houses and hotels to put onto his yellow properties. Kit rolled double 4s, moving him 8 spaces to Atlantic.

“Pay up,” Ming grinned at him. Kit forked over the $1150 dollars. Then it started. Some kind of unlucky streak because he rolled snake eyes to pay up on another yellow property. Now, Ming had cushion all the way around the board. Kit did not. As the turns came and went, Beam went bankrupt first. Forth patted his shoulder. Beam just shrugged and when he made sure Pha wasn’t looking he hooked a hand into Forth’s under the table. Forth smiled at him.

After 30 minutes the game came down to Ming and Kit. Ming was now holding the lead with the most money. If Kit could land on the railroads he owned about two more times, he’d have won the game. Kit took a deep breath. He was 5 spaces away from B & O Railroad. The dice landed and he instantly knew it was 5 by the gasps from his friends. Kit tossed money at Ming, who just admired his adorably competitive and grumpy boyfriend.

Ming took his turn, easily skating by the green properties Kit now owned since Forth handed them over as payment. Ming only had to pay a $50 community chest fee. Kit huffed. He went from over $2,000 dollars to a measly $350. If he landed on another railroad, he’d be left with $150. Kit safely landed 7 spaces to North Carolina Ave. He hoped he could get Ming to pay up.

Ming took his turn again. He chuckled and loudly counted his spaces. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5!” Ming happily placed himself between Boardwalk and Park Place, the main two properties Kit held onto the entire game. He handed over the luxury tax to the bank. Kit calmed himself as he reached for the dice. A part of him knew there was no salvaging the game. Ming already won, but Kit was going to roll once more to see if he could at least make it to go for that $200.

The dice fell to the board. He couldn’t land on the railroad. That ended the game. Forth roared with laughter. “Might as well hand him your money.” Kit opened his eyes to see that Ming had already placed him on Short Line.

“1 + 2= 3, give me $200,” Ming held out a hand.

Kit handed over the $200.

“You want me to count what I have or..?” Ming teased him. Kit threw the $150 at his face. The boys began to clean up the game. Pha and Wayo left first, then Forth and Beam. That left Ming alone with his boyfriend.

“Can I have a kiss for being the winner?” Ming asked him as they closed the box. Kit leaned over the box, looked him square in the eyes and said, “Suck it!”

He jumped up and away from the table. Kit was 100% certain Ming would chase him until he got that kiss. It didn’t take long. Ming had him by the waist before he even made it anywhere. Kit eyed him with a soft look that told Ming he gave up. So Kit gave his boyfriend the celebratory kiss he asked for, though he was grumpy about losing.

[cecilspeaks]

154 - The Heist, part 2

You have orbited the sun. You have been to the Milky Way galaxy. You have seen the moon. You are an astronaut. Welcome to Night Vale.

The Sheriff’s Secret Police announced today that they have no new leads into the ongoing investigation of the robbery at the Last Bank of Night Vale. The three people who stormed into the bank, held the staff and single customer at gunpoint, but did not at first even ask for any cash from the registers’ drawers. And yet in only a few minutes, and with no damage to or forced entry into the vault, they had managed to steal millions of dollars from it. Sheriff Sam described the details of the robbery as follows. 

The robbers entered the bank repeatedly shouting “This is a robbery” and waving their guns around. After a minute or so, teller Genevieve Daly finally asked: “Do you want me to give you money?” “Um, yes,” the robbers decided. “We want you to give us money.” “How much money?” Genevieve asked. “How much do you have?” the robbers replied. Genevieve then had to count the money in her till, which took a while, because bank protocol requires that tellers count the money multiple times, until the total amount matches twice in a row. But on her second count, Genevieve was two dollars off from her first, so she had to start over. “Hang on,” she told the masked intruders, “gotta do it again.” “No worries, the robbers said, truly looking like they were not worried. Customer Joel Eisenberg, who had dropped face down on the floor the moment guns were drawn, immediately handed over his wallet to the robbers. “What’s this for?” the robbers asked Joel. “You’re robbers, aren’t you?” Joel said, careful not to look directly into their eyes. “I’m giving you my money, not trouble.” “Cool, cool,” the robbers said without looking in the wallet. Genevieve’s manager, Susan Willman, stood behind her new employee nervously explaning to the thieves, “I don’t have access to the vault. I-I-I don’t know the combination.” “That’s fine,” the robbers said. The security guard on duty that day and every day for the last 50 years was Jesse McNeil. Jesse does not carry a gun, so he couldn’t intervene, but he has always been known for his friendly charm and grace. He tried the old “kill them with kindness” approach by complimenting the fine work the robbers were doing. “I understand you’re robbing our bank,” Jesse said. The robbers cooed and said, “What a nice thing to say, old man, thank you.” “You can’t tell because we are wearing plastic masks of former US presidents,” said the robber with the face of Richard Nixon, “but we are blushing, kind sir.” Within minutes, the Sheriff’s Secret Police had arrived. “Who called the police?” the robbers asked, but without urgency, as if it was the first table read of a pilot TV script. “I did not,” Susan and Genevieve said at the same time. “I left my phone in my car,” Joel said from the floor. “I am sitting in a chair by the door,” Jesse said and the robbers guffawed at the audacity of this old man, so highly complimenting himself. “Well we have to take hostages now,” the robber said and soon, the police had entered the bank. There was a brief shootout with no injuries, and the robbers were apprehended and the hostages freed shortly thereafter. There was also a fire that engulfed the front of the bank, which helped their efforts to arrest the perpetrators, but police do not understand how it started. They believed it was a diversion, during which time the criminals were able to empty the vault. But they have no leads yet on where this money was taken or how they got into the vault. 

The only other person in the bank that day was vice president Steve Carlsberg, who was not taken hostage, because he had accidentally locked himself in his office. Oh, Steve. Steve said that he eventually kicked his door open, breaking his foot in the process. Oh, Steve! He got free, but only after the criminals had been arrested and the fire extinguished.

None of the three robbers is talking to the police, even after their HBO privileges were taken away from them, so the sheriff is asking anyone in Night Vale with information about this heist to contact him immediately. You can do this by calling the Sheriff’s Secret Police secret tip line, which can be reached by just speaking aloud. They are one of the several organizations that have universal access to your phone’s mic and camera.

I talked to Carlos today. He’s been running his experiments over at my sister Abby’s new house, in an old storage shed out back because, well his laboratory is under renovations and he was making such a huge mess over here with all of his chemicals staining everything. Abby is, of course, married to Steve Carlsberg who is home from the hospital with the cast on his foot. Carlos told me Steve is fine. He is having a hard time adjusting to crutches and he’s still shaken by the whole experience. But he’s focused on rebuilding the bank and getting everyone back to work. He’s been inviting his employees over for lunch this week, to keep everyone on task for reopening the bank, and to treat them to his famous medium rare rosemary chicken recipe.

Carlos said he had met Susan Willman several times before. “She’s delightful,” Carlos said, which I’m sure I misread. He’s also met Jesse before too. “Oh, he’s always over there, real nice guy,” Carlos said. “He once told me, ‘you’re a scientist’, and it was the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me. So I showed him my lab and just talked his ear off about my doorless fridge project. Jesse got so excited he had to leave after only 15 minutes.” Carlos said that since the robbery, though, Jesse has not looked as cheerful or healthy. Jesse looks sick, like he’s nauseated.

Carlos said he joined the crew for lunch today and cheered them all up with funny stories about science, but he’s taking a break from his experiments and should be home early today. Carlos ran out of the chemicals he needed to continue his work, and has to wait a few more days to get more. “I thought I has plenty of it,” Carlos said, “I calculated exactly how much I needed, but it wasn’t near enough. Well, this is why I studied science instead of math. “Anyway, Steve’s going to be fine,” Carlos said. “I love you.” And I said, “I love you too.” You might think that last part wasn’t necessary for the news story, but it was. Love is the most important news story.

The Sheriff’s Secret Police have announced a breakthrough in their bank robbery investigation. They’ve been interviewing witnesses and combing through their notes and evidence, and they think they have figured out exactly what happened at the bank. They’re planning a full report later today. They had the report ready to go now, but right when they started the press conference, they realized that they probably should make an arrest first, and also because in their excitement to make this announcement, every single person on the police force showed up, leaving the abandoned mine shaft where they keep prisoners unattended, which is probably fine because the cells are all completely locked, but - wow, you never know, right? Better safe than sorry. “Hoo wee,” the representative from the Secret Police said, “We really should go check on that jail. My bad!”

And now a word from our sponsors. Today’s show is brought to you by Budweiser. Have you ever wondered about that house at the end of your street, the one with the windows boarded up? The one that does ever receive sunshine? The one with the incongruous Victorian architecture in your otherwise ranch style tract home suburb? Have you ever dared your friends to spend a night in that house? And they did it, because they don’t like being called weak, and then they re-emerged the next day completely normal as if nothing had happened, only something did happen? Like you couldn’t tell at first because your friend was like, “It was just a house, totally boring”, but you started noticing weird things in their behavior, like they suddenly were fluent in Romanian and they would whisper it to someone you could not see? And then there was that time your friend laughed for 10 straight minutes, and you did not know why, never learned why, and when they finished laughing, all of the trees in your neighborhood were dead? Well, we here at Budweiser know exactly what made your friend laugh, and we know what happened in the house that night. And some day, you will know it. but not today. No, not today. Budweiser: Be glad today is not the day.

The bank robbery earlier this month has understandably shaken customer confidence. So vice president of the Last Bank of Night Vale, Steve Carlsberg, has called a press conference to address public concerns over the security of their bank accounts and investments. Here’s Steve’s statement.

Steve Carlsberg: First I wanna say thank you to all of my valiant and valuable employees. They faced down danger, and without their bravery, we might all be much less fortunate. To Susan Willman, my dear friend: thank you for your leadership under such duress. To Genevieve, our newest employee: you deserve the quickest raise we’ve ever given out, and I promise it won’t always be like this. And to Jesse: you protected our bank for nearly 50 years, and your training finally paid off. Thank you for your service to our safety. And Joel Eisenberg, our lone customer, who stared down those monsters and did not give an inch: to you I say thank you.

I want the people of Night Vale and the customers of the Last Bank to know that we have your security in mind. We are cooperating with the Secret Police, and while this crime is not completely resolved, no customer has lost a single dollar of their savings. We are well insured, and I guarantee you [muffled] all protections are in place.

Cecil: But while Steve Carlsberg was talking, the Sheriff’s Secret Police returned to finish their announcement from earlier.

Steve: Wait, I’m not done yet!

Cecil: Seeing that Steve had claimed the podium in their disorganized absence, the Secret Police had to stand at the back of the room and wait impatiently. Their feet tapping, arms folded, each of them exhaling deeply and intermittently, one of them groaning aloud, “Is he done yet? Ugh.”

Steve: OK, yes, but…

Cecil: One of them staring demonstrably at the clock.

Steve: ..I signed up for this time slot at the podium and no one was here when I arrived, so I’d like to finish. [pause] Are we good? OK, fantastic. So uh, where was I? Oh, I was trapped in my office! I regret that I was not standing with my brave staff during this terrible event, but see, I think someone barred my door to prevent me from coming out there, really letting those robbers have it! I’m a nice guy, but not when my family is in danger. And these people, Genevieve, Susan, Jesse – they are my family. Joel and every other bank customer is my family, and I would do anything, anything, to protect them if they were threatened.

Cecil: Just then, the Secret Police – did you know that a group of police officers is called an obstinency of cops? [ahem] Marched to the podium declaring: “Four o’clock, your time’s up.” Two officers grabbed the mic shouting “Dibs” simultaneously, and then had to play rock, paper, water torture to see who got to speak.

Steve: Hey, hey watch it buddy! I-I-I mean officer. Sorry, uh…

Cecil: The police then announced they had in fact left all of the cells at the abandoned mine shaft locked earlier today, but somehow the three bank robbers escaped. Their cell was still locked and no tunnels or holes were found, yet the three were completely gone. “Dang it,” the police spokesperson said. “The important thing is we tried our best. Anyway,” they continued, “we’re proud to say that we have made an important breakthrough in the bank heist case. We have made a new arrest of the person we believe responsible of the theft at the Last Bank of Night Vale.

Steve: Oo, that’s great!

Cecil: The police then turned to Steve Carlsberg and said: “We have arrested our prime suspect in this conspiracy: Steve Carlsberg.”

Steve: What?

Cecil: The police handcuffed Steve. Oh, Steve…

Steve: No! (--) I didn’t (--) [yelping, inaudible]

Cecil: And led him outside to the back of a squad car. Listeners, I-I-I, I wish I could tell you I’m happy that the police think they have solved this bank robbery, but I cannot tell you that, this is not right. Steve would never. [sighs] While I sit with my feelings, you will sit With the weather.

[“Only One Star” by Ann https://soundcloud.com/carlitta-ann]

Sheriff Sam talked to reporters. These reporters were confused and angry, upset that such a good man, their brother-in-law in fact, could be confused for a master criminals. The Sheriff said the robbery of the bank vault required inside knowledge, someone who worked at the bank, someone who knew the combination of the vault, and could get the money without any damage to the vault, walls or door. Steve is the only employee present who knew the combination. The frustrated, enraged reporters then asked what happened to the money. If Steve stole the money, as they said, surely the police must have recovered it. Sheriff Sam said it’s clear the money has been spent on luxury. The suspect, Steve Carlsberg, bought a brand new house with a storage shed even, the most obvious symbol of opulence. “But he closed on that house weeks ago,” the infuriated reporters stated. “How could he have paid for something before he had the money?” The Sheriff then held up a life-sized promotional cardboard cutout featuring the text “Great mortgage rates are inside of you”. The Sheriff said: “He used something called a mortgage, and elaborate financial scheme where you don’t have to pay until later, a brilliant and evil ploy for bank robbers.” “Mortgages are normal, I have a mortgage,” the displeased reporters responded. “Maybe you’ll be arrested next,” the Sheriff spat. “Also, Steve Carlsberg bought a fancy car for his daughter. He even upgraded the vehicle with hand controls for braking and acceleration. We could tell right there we was flaunting his stolen wealth.” “She’s in a wheelchair,” the disgusted reporters snapped back. “Those controls are necessary and standard.” The Sheriff shrugged and said: “You say tomato, I say criminal.” And with that, they stepped away, smug in their arrest of this innocent man.

I didn’t know what to do, so I called Carlos. He said he was coming home early today, but I haven’t seen him yet. He didn’t answer his phone, so I called my sister Abby. She was understandable upset about her husband’s arrest. I told her I would do everything in my power as an investigative journalist to vindicate Steve, even if it means starting a podcast. She sighed and said: “I know.” When I asked if Carlos was still at her house, she said: “He’s gone.” “Oh good. I’ll see him soon then,” I replied. “No,” Abby said, “You won’t. the police were just here questioning me and Janice. Then they took Carlos with them to the station. They said they’re not done with their investigation.

Listener, stay tuned next for a song and language you have never heard, written in a key not on any scale, played in a time signature that changes with each measure.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: The gum you like is out of style again.

[uberdriverdavid-blog]

Understanding Clinical Depression: Case Study Of Myself

I'm writing this for many reasons, but mainly because people rarely understand what Clinical Depression is, or what my particular form of Clinical Depression is like.

First I’ll describe Clinical Depression as briefly as I can. After that, I’ll describe my particular type of Clinical Depression.

Clinical Depression:

~ Is NOT simply “feeling sad”, as people constantly misuse the term – most of whom have never experienced clinical depression. In many forms of Clinical Depression, individuals a) don't feel sad, but b) have symptoms including inability to eat, sleep, move physically (AKA psychomotor retardation), socialize, recreate, take care of their health, or do constructive activity (including working for money).

~ Can also include insomnia of various kinds; hypersomnia; no motivation or willpower to do anything whatsover; inability to enjoy anything (including food or entertainment); inability to think, reason, or concentrate, to various degrees; loss of interest in life, to various degrees – mild to total; suicidal ideation; suicidal tendencies; and suicide attempts.  

~ Is DEFINED by not being able to function adequately – not being able to work for money, work on chores or errands, socialize, or take care of one's health adequately. If you can do all these things, but feel “down” or “sad”, it's NOT Clinical Depression, and is totally normal.

~ Is statistically proven to be the #1 reason / precursor to suicide.

~ Medications may or may not help, but usually does, to some degree – once people find the right medication for them – which could take days, months, or years

~ Is almost always helped, to varying degrees, by cognitive-behavioral therapy. Cognitive therapy deals with changing a person's cognitions; behavioral therapy deals with changing a person's actions. There are hundreds of proven techniques that work for clinical depression for each type, and they're almost always used in conjunction, leading to the term Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (AKA CBT).

~ Is almost always helped by physical exercise.

~ May be totally physical & unrelated to one's situation/environment, or totally dependent on such, or (usually) is some mixture.  

My particular form of clinical depression:

~ Is purely situational / environment-based. This has been proven countless times. In an adequate safe/sane/stable living environment, with access to medications and therapy and exercise, adequate housing, adequate health food, and adequate income to afford my basic needs, I have NEVER been clinically depressed. I'll have “down days” and “bad days”, but I can deal with those and keep functioning, working, taking care of my health, socializing, enjoying recreation, doing chores and errands, eating, sleeping, etc. And: Whenever I’ve been clinically depressed, it has ONLY been after severe, prolonged lack of one of those needs.

~ Began occurring regularly in 1998 – 21 years ago. Before 1998, I suffered Clinical Depression only rarely, only a few times, and was able to recover because I was able to get my basic needs met, one way or another, and get back to working or studying full-time.  

~ Since 1998, I have been in depressive states about as often as non-depressive states. The difference has been whether I'm getting my needs met.

~ Is a component of a vicious cycle that I've been struggling against for 21 years: If I don't have my needs met for months in a row, severe Clinical Depression results – which then results in not being able to work for money adequately – which results in not being able to afford adequate housing or healthcare or health food or medications, and also results in not being able to exercise or socialize – which reinforces the depression, completing the cycle.

~ Is a component of my legal diagnosis as being “Bipolar Type I” AKA “Manic Depressive” – which was also purely situational: I would get manic episodes or depressive episodes whenever I couldn't get my needs met for a prolonged theory of time. (Currently, and for many years, I have not gotten in any manic episodes, though, because of 2 mood-stabilizing medications that work on such, but do not keep Clinical Depression from happening.)

~ Is virtually guaranteed to continue as long as I'm unable to get more than $850/month income (from Disability Insurance), which is a few hundred dollars less per month than I realistically need to satisfy my basic needs, especially basic housing. The simple truth is that I do not get enough of an income to live a sane, stable, healthy life on, especially when homeless (which happens on a regular basis, because I don't have the money for a decent place to live). The best housing I can afford on this income would be a small room with strangers in Tucson, where living expenses are lower than practically anywhere else in the US. I could actually get an adequate room, with tolerable roommates, for about $400/month. However, finding roommates who are tolerable or even sane is an extremely difficult, time-consuming, and wildly uncertain process. People who present themselves as nice, friendly, and tolerable often turn out to be one or more of the following: unreasoanable, irrational, drug addicts, drug dealers, criminals, deranged, depraved, thieves, liars, lunatics, or they just can’t tolerate me for very long for whatever reasons. I have had around 26 roommates over the decades, and only about 20% of them have been tolerable or better; while every one of them seemed reasonable and friendly on the surface. Also: most roommate situations involve young college students who do not want to live with someone who isn't also a young college student. And then there are too many other difficulties to mention – such as those who don't want to live with someone “Bipolar” or depressed.

~ While in Clinical Depression, I cannot exercise or take adequate care of my health, or afford therapy or health food, and so my mental, physical, and physiological health continually deteriorate. This is one reason why people diagnosed as Bipolar I or Chronic Depressive typically die 20 years early, on average, according to the statistics.

The main basic need I have that I have extreme difficulty in getting met is that of adequate housing. The current plan to get this met is to get a room in Tucson with people that I've thoroughly screened. But I've done this before, and the chance of failure is enormous. I think that, with weeks of constant effort, my chance of finding a tolerable roommate is about 50%, at the very best.

I once had a tiny run-down studio apartment in Tucson for $400/month that worked out adequately 15 years ago, and I was not depressed at all during this time. However, a) that studio would cost about $500/month now, and b) was far from the city center, which was a problem even when I had a car, but would be an enormous problem without a car. (The reason I left that apartment was because all my friends had moved to Seattle, and I wanted to live with them – which I did – which didn't work out, because almost no one likes living too close to anyone else for very long, and the situation just gets increasingly difficult and stressful as people get on each other's nerves).

Was considering moving back to Luke's, but this looks unlikely, as he won't write me back.

Am also considering bike camping / touring at free campgrounds throughout CA (there are hundreds of them), though this looks very difficult, too stressful and harsh, and likely to result in clinical depression as I'd effectively be homeless, alone, and without a therapist or even a pet. It would also be somewhat dangerous at night, possibly lethal, in unfamiliar campgrounds or Slab City part of the time. But this would make the most sense economically, as my SSDI would go up to $1050/month or so for being a) homeless & b) in California; while I'd have zero rent, and could get most of my food from food banks, so I'd have about $500/month left over for saving up for a van or minivan or motorhome to live out of.

The core problem is that SSDI simply doesn’t pay enough for me to live on.

The final solution to the resulting predicament I’m in, and a permanent end to the vicious cycle I’m in, can only happen if I have a good, safe, healthy housing option that is guaranteed to work out AND that I can definitely afford with just SSDI (because I cannot rely on my ability to hold a full-time job right now).

Since getting affordable housing has proven next to impossible, my plan is to save up for a van, minivan, or motorhome, then to live at free campgrounds, which is something I could definitely tolerate, and I’d be able to work on web design & political projects & writings with my laptop tethered to my cell phone from virtually anywhere.  And free rent, most food coming from food banks, and getting the maximum SSDI of $1050/month, I’d be able to save $500-$550/month for emergencies, repairs, health problems, and a better life in general.

[mergaliscious]

Denti-Cal is a joke.

Imma put a read more because I don’t want this getting filtered out and ignored but long story short I need dental care that my insurance doesn’t cover, here’s my paypal and store and I’ll go over the situation and the expenses under the cut. Even a dollar helps, the next 8 buyers can get hats for only $7.50 ($15 after that), and reblogs are also eternally appreciated! Check the notes for updates!

PayPal | Storenvy

While Medicaid is certainly better in California than a lot of states (idek if it usually covers dental, let alone how much), it’s still fucking stupid. It took me forever to find another dentist that takes my insurance after my last one left me with two poorly filled cavities and more that he was supposed to fill (I had an appointment to get them filled but he wasn’t there when I arrived that day so we had to postpone it and then the office shut down), and then the one that I found kept fucking up (first they sent me to the orthodontist when I asked for the GP, and then I arrived early for my appointment but then about 2 hours after the appointment was scheduled they still hadn’t called me in and we had to go pick up my sister), so I kind of gave up until I broke my tooth the Saturday before last.

I went to the emergency room and they prescribed me antibiotics and painkillers and told me to call a dentist to get my broken tooth fixed. They gave me a list of dentists that take patients without insurance, and after that I was on my own. I was able to find a dentist that was able to take me in less than a week later because it was an emergency.

tw vague surgery descriptions, over at the bold

When I got to the dentist I had x-rays taken and then the dentist looked over my teeth and basically told me that every one of my teeth except 5 or 6 in the front on the bottom has a cavity. I need 20 (?) fillings but Medi-Cal covers that. However, she also said I need 3 root canals (they gotta take out the nerve bc the damage is too close to it) and 2 crown lengthenings (they gotta cut back my gum and maybe bone to get to the whole cavity). They have a dentist there that does it but they don’t accept my insurance for that part.

tw over

So now I have to find an endodontist and a periodontist that take my insurance. I found a dentist that’s pretty close to home that says they might be able to do my root canals covered by Medi-Cal, but I need to get another exam done by them and since Medi-Cal only covers one exam a year, that’ll be $33. That’s not much, and technically speaking I have enough money in my bank account to pay it right now but I haven’t been spending any money because my bills for school are due this week. Well actually they were already due but my financial aid comes in this week and then I need to pay them bc if I don’t pay them this week I’ll get holds on my enrollment again and I’ll get paid late fees. I’ll probably also have to buy books and such but idk how much that’ll cost yet.

Even then, they’re not sure if Medi-Cal will cover the root canals, so I may have to pay for those out of pocket--they’ll tell me if so and how much after the exam--and they can’t do the crown lengthenings. I had to call a periodontist for that, and the answering service worker said she thinks they take Medi-Cal but she’s not sure. They’re gonna call me back tomorrow to tell me if they do or not, and if not I’ll ask how much it costs out of pocket. I’ll update on the crown lengthenings tomorrow, and I’ll update on the root canals after the exam.

In the meantime, though, the dentist said that I need to get an electric toothbrush. And since the teeth I need to get crown lengthenings for are impossible to floss between (so I can thank my old dentist for that bc it’s from the filling, which didn’t fill the whole cavity and prevents me from flossing between those teeth), my mom says I should get a Waterpik. She wants to help me, but she only gets paid a small stipend every month to cover living expenses and she’s also in school right now so she can’t afford it either.

So, assuming I’ll have enough between my first and next paycheck to pay my school bill, here are the expenses I know of so far:

Dental exam: $33

Electric toothbrush: min $25 - usually around $50 for the good ones

Waterpik: ~$35

so if I can get my operations covered, that’s $93 dollars minimum. Again, we’ll see how much more I need. I’ll reblog this with how much I’ve received and how much I need, so if you don’t know if I still need help, look in the notes. This was posted on 3/25/2019.

Note: if you just straight up give me like $50, I’ll just feel guilty. If you have that much to spend, you can give me maybe $10 and give the rest to other people or buy some hats or t-shirts from my store for you and your friends! I appreciate the help, but it’d be better for me and for others if I got little bits of money from more people.

[rapuvdayear]

2000: “Ghetto Qu’ran (Forgive Me)” 50 Cent (Trackmaster Ent./Columbia)

It’s been over a year since I teased the idea of doing a post about my favorite 50 Cent tracks, so I guess now is as good a time as ever to get around to it! 

With the exception of maybe Kanye, I can’t think of another rapper with more raw talent whose career has been more disappointing. Obviously both Ye and Fiddy have been monstrously successful, but IMO they either burned brightly before descending into white supremacy apologia (Kanye) or never achieved their best possible trajectory (50). It’s not an accident to put them together in this way, either; just 12 years ago next month they faced off in what turned out to be a very underwhelming battle over whose album would sell better (this was back when album sales, not streaming numbers, still meant something). In many ways, it was a crossroads for each artist: Kanye dropped what I believe was his magnum opus, then followed it up with his fourth-best album, third-best album, and second-best album, before dropping off a cliff, while 50′s release basically removed him from the conversation about who was relevant in rap (“My Gun Go Off” and “I Get Money” are honorable mentions for the list below, but otherwise Curtis is entirely forgettable). 

These days, 50 has gone the Ice Cube route and is probably more recognizable as an actor than as a rapper. So, it’s hard to remember that once upon a time he was the savior of gangsta rap and (co-)author of one of the 25 greatest albums of all time. He beat the odds to survive a shooting, link up with the two heaviest hitters (at the time) in the rap game, and even be included on some GOAT lists. He also essentially established the “flood the streets with mixtapes before your album drops” strategy of self-promotion that Gucci, Weezy, and even Drake would follow in the days before Soundcloud was the go-to resource for building a rep. He singlehandedly destroyed a rival’s career, launched a clothing line, video game, and music label, and made a halfway-decent biopic. And then... he just sort of petered out. 

But! 50 is also responsible for some of my all-time favorite raps, which is why it’s so frustrating to me that he never lived up to the buzz surrounding him back in 2003. These are my five favorites, listed chronologically, with some commentary:

1) “Ghetto Qu’ran (Forgive Me)” (2000) Before the G-Unit days and before Eminem and Dre helped launch him to superstardom, Curtis Jackson was an up and coming rapper from Queens who had attracted the attention of another rap legend, Run-DMC’s Jam Master Jay. A mutual friend introduced 19 year-old 50 to Jay back in 1996, and the veteran producer/DJ gave him a crash course in how to write songs and signed him to his fledgling label. The business relationship didn’t work out, but it helped lead 50 to Columbia Records’ Trackmasters imprint where he recorded Power of the Dollar in 1999. However, this debut album would never see the light of day after 50 was shot nine times while sitting in a friend’s car and subsequently dropped by Columbia. In the wake of the shooting--and then later, after 50 blew the fuck up in 2003--it became a sort of “lost cult classic” among rap fans. “How To Rob” got the most attention at the time, a funny-yet-vicious song demonstrating 50′s hunger through fantasies about sticking up famous rappers and R&B stars (the song was also clearly an homage to Biggie’s unreleased “Dreams,” and provoked an oblique diss from Ghostface). But “Ghetto Qu’ran” has had a more lasting impact, primarily because of how it was rumored to be the source of 50′s shooting, Jam Master Jay’s murder, and the Ja Rule/Murder Inc. beef. While all of that intrigue is important to rap lore, it distracts from the fact that it’s a near perfect rap song from a technical perspective: a catchy hook, a fantastic beat and sample, an effortless flow, and a well-crafted story that is equal parts celebration of the Queens underworld and subtle shots at street legends. Seriously, this is akin to what traveling bards used to do in medieval Europe, what poets in Ancient Greece wrote, what west African griots did/do, and what narcocorrido artists do now. If you want to learn about the Supreme Team, Pappy Mason, the Corley Family, and the Rich Porter/Alpo crew in Harlem, then this is a good place to start; as 50 puts it, “consider this the first chapter of the ghetto’s Qu’ran.” The secondary title to this track--“Forgive Me”--has a double meaning now. It was initially a plea to forgive 50 for the pain he caused in his criminal life but in retrospect an appeal to the figures whose names he drops. Also, it’s interesting to listen to this first and then compare 50′s voice with the next four tracks: this was recorded before the shooting, which left a bullet fragment lodged in his tongue that affected his speech and gave him his now-distinctive flow.    

2) “Heat” (2003) There are several standouts on Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (“Many Men,” “Back Down,” “What Up Gangsta,” “Patiently Waiting,” and “Poor Lil’ Rich” spring to mind, and I will always love “21 Questions” for the “I love you like a fat kid loves cake” line alone) but this one has always been my fave. It’s a perfect distillation of the image that 50 was trying to project when he burst onto the scene: a hood-hardened gangster who wouldn’t hesitate to do his enemies harm. And given his recent history, you could believe him, too! There’s really nothing about this song that should be praised in any way, but I’ve been thinking about the gravity of the following line a lot in the past month or so: “The summertime is a killing season/ It’s hot out this bitch, that’s a good enough reason.” Also, 50′s boast “the DA can play this motherfucking tape in court” *has* to be one of the inspirations behind this great Key & Peele sketch, right? 

3) “A Baltimore Love Thing” (2005) The Massacre was incredibly disappointing on the whole. I can remember clearly sitting around with my friends in a dorm room at the Shoreland listening to it all the way through the day that it dropped, wanting to love it but slowly realizing that it wasn’t going to live up to our expectations. “Ski Mask Way” could be an honorable mention on this list, and “Piggy Bank” is kind of funny, but otherwise it’s a steaming pile of shit. “Baltimore Love Thing,” though, is a masterpiece. It’s incredibly dark, rapped from the perspective of heroin itself (sort of like what Nas’s “I Gave You Power” does for guns) in order to detail the destruction that addiction--and, by extension, drug trafficking--leaves in its wake. Even more fucked up, 50-as-heroin voices an abusive partner addressing a woman, threatening her should she ever try to leave him. For my money, “You broke my heart, you dirty bitch, I won’t forget what you did/ If you give birth, I’ll already be in love with your kids” is one of the coldest lines in the annals of rap, full stop. In the second verse, he switches to the flip side of an abuser’s mindset: “I never steer you wrong, if you hyper I make you calm/ I’ll be your incentive, your reason for you to move forward.” All in all, it’s a great concept song that shows off 50′s range as a rapper... and is a testament to what he could have been.

4) “Hustler’s Ambition” (2005) Goddamn, I fucking love everything about this song! The beat is fantastic (great sample, btw), prefiguring the sound on a future great mixtape from the G-Unit crew. 50′s flow here is flawless, arguably the best, smoothest he’s ever been. This was basically the “theme” for 2005′s Get Rich or Die Tryin’ film, and tells the story of his come up in the drug game (or, at least, 50′s version of his carefully constructed hagiography). The lyrics are the true gems here, so I’ll just let a few of the standouts speak for themselves:

“Check my logic: fiends don’t like seeds in they weed, shit/ Send me them seeds, I’ll grow ‘em what they need”

“I sell anything, I’m a hustler, I know how to grind/ Step on grapes, put it in water, and tell you it’s wine”

“I made plans to make it, a prisoner of the state/ Now I can invite your ass out to my estate”

“Pour Cristal in the blender, make a protein shake”

and finally

“The feds watch me, icy, they can’t stop me/ Racists pointing at me, ‘Look at *****race’: Hello!”   

5) “Ghetto Like A Motherfucker” (2011) I remember first encountering this track on a Tumblr compilation (I think?) called Don’t Fuck This Up, Curtis! and allowing myself to get excited that the old 50 was back! As the compilation’s name implies, around that time 50 had been releasing a string of online-only singles that were better than anything he’d put out in five or so years, and so there was some hope that he’d soon be making a triumphant return to the rap game. Sadly, this was not to be. But I still bang this track every month or so. The idea here was that 50 had written something, set it to a very sparse, stripped-down beat, and posted it online as an invitation for DIY rap producers to play with it and layer their own compositions on top of it. In that sense, it represented a melange of rap’s earliest roots--dudes spitting over vinyl cuts in basements and parks, just fucking around and having fun--and the possibilities afforded by the digital age and rap’s embrace of online platforms for mixing and remixing material (on a side note, I like to think of this as part of 21st century rap’s “punk rock” aesthetic, and would argue that this genre has done it better than any other). As with “Hustler’s Ambition,” “Baltimore Love Thing,” and “Ghetto Qu’ran,” this track gives 50 a chance to really showcase his talents as a writer and a rapper. The lyrics are as grimy as the beat, painting a picture of urban poverty and pre-fame 50, and 50 switches up his flow at multiple points throughout. Here are some of my favorite lines:

“Slim chance I’ma go back to killing roaches/ Be quiet, you can hear the rats in the wall/ Make you wanna pump crack ‘til you stack racks”

“Dice game, shake ‘em up, praying’ for a 6/ The wolves out there hungry, they lookin’ for a lick”

“****** pissed on the staircase, in the elevator/ Now I’m pissed cuz I’m starting to smell like piss, player”

and

“All a ***** need is a block and a connect/ And a box of 9 MMs to load in the TEC.”

50′s last two studio albums--Before I Self Destruct and Animal Ambition--honestly weren’t half-bad; I would venture so far as to say that they were both better than The Massacre and Curtis. But for 50 it was too little, too late, really. Too many rappers had come along since then doing what he did, only better and fresher. This is a Migos world now; we’re just living in it. And so, I’m left to ponder what could have been. 

[smoothshift]

Here's a story about the time I got my car stuck in a snow bank 9,000 feet up a mountain, and was stranded overnight. via /r/cars

Here's a story about the time I got my car stuck in a snow bank 9,000 feet up a mountain, and was stranded overnight.

Prologue

  I'll start with some backstory about my car: she's a 2001 Subaru Impreza Outback Sport 5MT. At the time of the story, she had just under 230,000 miles on her. She's rough on the outside, but I've done a ton of work to her, and I'd trust her to take me anywhere. In over five years of ownership, she has started up every single time I've ever turned the key. She's taken me all over the country and through all kinds of weird and sketchy places, and I love her.

  Chapter 1

  From afar, I had seen New Mexico's great Mt. Taylor. Like many others who share a similar gene, I wanted to go to the top of it. I had one single day off of work in January, and I decided to take a day trip up there. I headed to the small town of Grants, NM, which was the gateway to the mountain. I spent quite a lot of time looking around on Google maps to see where the roads went, and I started heading up State Road 547.

The road was nice and paved, then after some miles it turned to gravel, then the gravel started to gain a layer of snow, which at that point in the road was nicely plowed. I was driving in a spirited fashion, getting the back end out a bit on the hard-packed snow, and I passed a group of four of five huge lifted trucks heading down the mountain. I turned off of the main state road onto Forest Road 453 in attempt to reach the La Mosca Lookout, which was as near to the summit as I could theoretically drive to. That road was not plowed and had a lot of snow on it, maybe 6 inches or so.

After a couple unsuccessful tries, I decided to reverse back down. I've gotten my car stuck several times before, and I was aware of the risk. I specifically told myself, "Don't do anything stupid. I know my limits. I'm not going to let myself get stuck out here. If it gets bad, turn around and get the hell out." That statement turned out to be a bit ironic in retrospect...

Unsatisfied and still eager to explore more of the mountain, I continued on State Road 547, getting further and further up the mountain and away from town. Once the large and plowed section ended, I looked at the map, and saw that I could turn right onto a smaller road that continued all the way around the mountain and ended in what looked like a small village called San Mateo, many miles away. I decided to take that road all the way to the village, and circle back around to the highway.

Now, this section of road was unplowed, but had tire tracks, and it looked to me like it was quite easily passable. My car was doing just fine, so I continued, again with the constant thought that I wouldn't do anything stupid and would turn around if the snow got any worse. I drove maybe a mile or a mile and a half up this tight, winding, one-car-wide mountain road, being careful to stay within the tire tracks and to keep up enough speed. Then, inevitably...

  Chapter 2

  My car wouldn't move. I was on a relatively flat and level part of the road, but the car was completely stuck; it wouldn't budge an inch. Pretty much immediately, my stomach dropped and I had that thought you get right after something bad happens: "Oh fuck. This is not going to be good." I should mention that at this point, it was somewhere around 4:30 or 5:00 o'clock, with less than an hour of light left in the day. Also keep in mind that I was on moderately worn all-season tires, and small ones too: 195/65/15. There was absolutely no cell signal where I was.

I didn't have a shovel or any real tools with me to move snow, so I got out and started digging with my hands. I dug up a fallen tree branch to try and help me move all of that white powder out from underneath the car. Thankfully, I had a full set of heavy winter gear with me including thick boots, gloves, and snowpants, so I could really get down in the snow to work.

I dug and dug, and tried to free my car for an hour and a half. I tried a few different techniques, and was finally able to get my car freed. At this point, the sun had gone down and it was dark. If I remember correctly, there was little to no moonlight. I was absolutely elated, and as anyone would, I wanted to get the fuck out of there as quickly as possible. I didn't have room to turn around, so I started to reverse back down the road to hopefully find a large enough spot to get pointed the right way.

I reversed no more than a few hundred feet, and had to get around the first corner. It was a right turn (or I guess a left if you're looking out the back window), and it was banked into a steep hill on the inside. As I started to go around, I guess I didn't steer the car exactly right, and it slid right into the wall. I was stuck again. I got so mad, I screamed and shouted. After all that work, it just happened again. This time it was even worse, as the road was no longer flat.

I started trying every single thing I could think of. Laboriously digging, digging, digging, only with my hands and whatever sticks and branches I could find. I was manic and desperate, just pounding away at this heap of white death. The snow must've been at least a foot deep on the edge of the road where I was stuck, maybe a foot and a half. I tried everything. Rocking back and forth over and over agian, backing myself into the hill to try and get any sort of momentum, shoving as many sticks as I could under the tires, pressing the brake while accelerating to help lock up the diffs and get all four wheels spinning...

I even tried hooking my flat tow strap around a tire, and wrapping the other end around a tree, thinking that just maybe the tire would wrap the strap around itself and "winch" me out. Then I thought, "Duh, I have open diffs, it's just going to spin the other tire. But maybe I can use the same braking technique to give some more power to that wheel and pull me out." It didn't work at all. Nothing. I was dumping every bit of energy I had into it; I was constantly shouting out to the empty forest, alternating between hopeful excitement and angry frustration.

Finally, after two full hours of laboring in the darkness, I freed my car the second time, now facing the right direction. If you would've seen me at that moment, you might've guessed that I just won a million dollars. I was elated. I wanted to get off the mountain so fucking badly. Ever so carefully, I began driving back down the road again, taking every corner with thought and consideration. My car was going along just fine. I was shouting and cheering the whole way.

Then I began to go around a right turn, and almost in slow motion, my car slid out of the tracks in the snow into the inside of the corner. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOO!" I yelled. The car was beached. This time, the inside of the corner went down into a ditch. Each time I got stuck, my car was in a worse position than the last, and this was the worst of them all. If I tried moving the car at all, it just slid further off the road and into the ditch. I had to be very, very careful.

I very reluctantly began to start digging again. The car was in very deep snow, at least a foot and a half's worth. After digging some of it out, I would periodically go back in and try to move the car again, carefully. Each time, it slid further down. Finally, after an hour and a half of trying this third time, not wanting my car to slide all the way into the ditch, I gave up. It was very late into the night, and I had to stop. There was no way I was getting it out.

  Chapter 3

  I was about 20 miles from town, and there were no human beings anywhere within many miles of me. I was at about 9,000 feet in elevation. There was still no cell signal whatsoever. I must've tried 50 times to call 911. I even reached behind my stereo head unit, pulled the antenna wire out, and tried touching the connector to the metal chassis of my phone, in the desperate hope that I might get the tiniest bit of signal. Nothing.

I realized the severity of the situation, and for the first time, I genuinely thought, "I could be in some real, life-threatening trouble if I'm not smart about this." At this point in my life, I was living in my car. That meant that I had all of the things I needed with me: good winter sleeping bag, blanket, some food, water, and clothes. I figured that making the choice to try walking back to town in the darkess, after I had already exhausted myself digging snow for many hours, was how people end up dying. So, I decided to sleep in my car overnight and try walking back in the morning.

The temperature was around freezing, give or take, for most of the time I was up there. My sleeping back kept me warm enough, but I wanted to make sure I had extra heat from the car if I needed it. My battery was worn out, and I wasn't confident that it would have enough juice to start the engine back up in the cold, so I left the engine running all night just in case. I made sure the exhaust pipe was clear, and I cracked the windows.

The only real food I had with me was some Muesli and almond milk, which I had eaten for breakfast earlier that morning. It was not very enjoyable having it a second time for dinner. While it's a great breakfast food, it's very thick and rich, and can be quite difficult to eat in large quantities. I had to just shove it down. At least it had plenty of carbs.

Since the proliferation and ubiquity of cell phones, we've all become completely accustomed to instant communication. We can talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime, no matter where we are. There's obviously an inherent comfort that comes with that. I didn't expect there to be cell signal up there, and I know I'm perfectly capable of functioning without a cell phone. But when I was lying in my car, all alone in that cold and dark forest, not knowing what was going to heppen, not knowing when I was going to get out... It scared the hell out of me. True lonliness, and absolute self-reliance, physically and mentally. As silly as it may sound, it made me realize that I really don't want to die, and more than anything I just wanted to see my family again.

I lied there anxious all night, sleeping terribly. You know that feeling when you wake up from a dream, and you have that sigh of relief where you realize, "Oh thank god, none of that was real"? For me, it was the opposite. Every time I woke up, I realized again that I was still lying in that car, alone in the dark and cold forest, trapped. As you might imagine, that was an awful feeling. The night felt like it dragged on forever, whether I was asleep or awake. It was very surreal. I tried playing some games on my phone to distract me, but it didn't really work at all.

Eventually, the sun came up. I was incredibly lucky that it was a clear and calm day. I would later find out that there was a big storm that came through the area the next night; I couldn't imagine how much worse that would've been. I poured myself another bowl of Muesli for breakfast. Let me tell you, that stuff tasted like shit after eating it for the third time in a row. I had to force down as much as I could, because I knew I'd need as much energy as possible to walk back to town safely.

I ripped a few pages out of my notebook and wrote that I was attempting to walk back to town, and anyone who sees my car should call the rescue services and have them come get me. I wrote my parents' names and phone numbers on another page in case anything happened to me, and put them all up in the windshield. By the time I finally shut my engine off, it had been running for 16 hours straight, most of that idling. I loaded up my hiking pack with everything that I might need: extra clothes, food, water, battery bank for my phone, etc. I put on my boots, snowpants, and coat, and started walking.

I walked for a couple miles, anxious as all hell. I knew I could make it, but I was still nervous. I wanted to conserve as much phone battery as I could, but I couldn't help playing some music to try to relax myself a bit. I kept checking my phone to see if I could get even the tiniest sliver of signal. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Then, finally, I saw one bar. I dialed 911 as fast as I could, and to my amazement, someone answered. I got a little emotional just hearing another person's voice again, knowing that I could finally tell someone where I was.

It took the dispatcher what felt like an eternity to figure out where I was after I tried to describe it, but she eventually said that they were sending someone up to come get me. I was incredibly relieved. I kept walking down the road, and after a while, I saw a pickup truck in the distance coming towards me. I was finally going to get out of there.

  Chapter 4

  It was a Cibola County Sheriff's Deputy that had been sent up to get me. I wish I could remember his name. The guy was real nice, and told me he had grown up in those mountains, and knew his way all around them. We talked for a while, and he started telling me some stories of all the crazy, fucked up shit he's seen up on that road. He told me there was another guy that got lost up there hiking or something, and he didn't survive. Were were in a 4WD Chevy Duramax truck, and the deptuy said he'd bring me back to my car and pull me out, and I'd be on my way. We started back up the road towards my car, and then shwoooomp. The truck was stuck.

I thought to myself, "You gotta be fucking kidding me right now." The deputy remained unphased, however, and said we'd be un-stuck in no time. He assured me that he still had good signal on his police radio up there. He went to the back and pulled out his hand winch (or come-along, as some call it), and started hooking it up. We winched, and dug, and rocked, and the truck didn't want to come out. At one point, he even had me hop in the drivers seat and hit the gas. But finally, after about an entire hour, we got out and got turned around. As we headed down, he told me he knew a guy with big Bronco that could probably pull me out. If not, he said he could bring me up in his personal lifted Blazer and pull me out after his shift was over.

We headed into town, and the deputy took me to this guy's shop. He ran a small auto body repair business, and he said he could pull me out. Yes! I thanked the deputy, and he left. The guy told me he usually charges people around $250 to pull them out, but he'd do it for me for $100. Fair enough, I thought, so I went into the office where his wife and daughter were, and paid them. He had to go home to get his big Bronco, so I waited around for a while.

When he got back, I was really impressed at the sheer badassery of this truck. A 70's Bronco, lifted on 44 inch tires with a winch and a light bar. Me, the guy, his dad, and some other dude that was just hanging out at the shop all hopped in, and we headed up the mountain to pull out my little Subie. I forget what engine the Bronco had in it, but it was running open headers and a manual transmission. It was dirty, loud as hell, didn't run quite right, but it was pure and modest utility, and I loved that.

When I was talking to the shop owner's dad, it turns out that him and some friends were up on the mountain the previous day, and their group of trucks was the same one I had passed. He said he actually remembered seeing my car go by, and saying, "Man, someone's sure trying to get up there in a hurry!"

It took us at least 45 minutes to get back up to my car. Once we got there, he told me that he didn't even have to take it out of two-wheel drive the whole time. He said the snow isn't a problem until it gets up to the bumpers, which were over three feet off the ground. I love real, old school, hardcore trucks like that. They hooked up the winch cable to my car, and I hopped behind the wheel. I turned the key, and the engine fired right up; thankfully the battery still had enough cold cranking amps left in it. Slowly, as the winch tugged, I rose out of the ditch. The unhooked me, and I followed them back down. My car drove along just fine until we reached the part of road that was plowed. I thanked them profusely for their help, and took off back down the mountain.

I can't tell you how good it felt to be back in town. I got a nice warm breakfast burrito at a local restaurant, and it tasted so good after just eating all of those sugary oats. I drove back home and went right into work just as my shift was finishing, and had to tell my boss the whole story of why I missed an entire day. The whole thing ended up costing me a couple hundred bucks, including the tow charge and the lost day of work. That being said, it certainly could've been a lot worse. I was just so glad to be home.

    I don't have any grand moral to the story, but I will leave you with this - know the limits of your car, and don't overestimate it!

  Photos:

https://imgur.com/a/vspdB5Q

And here's the general location where I got stuck:

35°17'16.5"N 107°36'42.5"W

[kaikhaos]

The Hurricane Sandy Saga Continues…

So here’s the story of my life since October 28, 2012 and all the chaos that has come with it. This is not a happy story, so far, but I’m hoping you guys can help make it one, or at least help prevent a bad end. This is a story of corrupt banks, government bullsh*t, and a 25 year old disabled trans queer who just wants to go home. Over the next five thousand words, I hope you realize the extent of how life has repeatedly NOPED at any sense of logic. At the end of my story, I’m going to ask you to help me out if you can and to spread the word either way.

The tl;dr version is that my family is facing homelessness for the fourth time in eighteen months and I really need you guys’ help to get us back into a stable situation so this never happens again. The mortgage company has screwed us yet again and is holding on to $250,000 that is supposed to be ours. So while we own one house and one newly demolished lot, we have nowhere to live. If you can at all help out, please do. My paypal link is here: http://paypal.me/mihaelkai .

My name is Aleks. This is my story.

First, let’s get one thing out of the way: I’m disabled. I have been legally recognized as disabled since I was 18. I have a combination of mental health issues and physical health issues that make it so my capacity on any given day varies greatly from “I made it through a day at a con thanks to lots of painkillers!” to “I brushed my teeth today and didn’t cry doing it!” But I try. Anxiety, depression, C-PTSD, & ADD are just a few of the things I’ve been diagnosed with by my therapist and psychiatrist, paired with diagnoses from my doctors of migraines, fibromyalgia, and a degenerative connective tissue disorder known as Ehlers-Danlos that all combine to leave me in fairly constant pain basically everywhere. My brain and my body attack me constantly but I still try to do what I can. Unfortunately, it means I can’t just go out and get a 9-5 or retail job to help fix my situation. I can only do what I can do and I have to know my limits.

I live with my mother and my QPP Luca who are both also disabled.

You may know in 2012 we were hit by Hurricane Sandy. If you don’t know that, you’re about to find out. We had six feet of water in our house and my grandfather’s house next door (AKA: my inheritance) floated off of its foundation and was straight up condemned. Ever since then, life has been, in a word, chaos. It’s gotten to be a theme in our house that if it can go wrong, it will go wrong. Even my therapist has given up on making any kind of treatment plan and is basically just focusing on damage control. And honestly, at this point, I just wanna go home.

But Aleks, it’s been seven years, why aren’t you home yet? Oh boy, I am SO glad you asked. Let’s get into this history.

First, a prequel. I’m not rich, my family isn’t rich, but we get by. Our house wasn’t big, but it was beautiful. In 2006, my mother bought two tiny houses next door to each other from an old man who wanted to sell them to a family the way he’d grown up in the smaller house while his parents lived in the other house. The one house was a six hundred square foot bungalow that would become my grandfather’s and its neighbor was a seven hundred square foot house that would become mine and my mother’s.

Our house was gorgeous and cute. Built in the early 1900s by a tinsmith with scraps from all of his jobs, all of the walls were tin instead of sheetrock or plaster, the floors were gorgeous hardwood, and the three bedrooms were each under a hundred square feet. It was tiny but it was ours.

On August 28th, 2011, that house was hit by Tropical Storm Irene. Our house was flooded by two feet of water on the first floor. The Atlantic Ocean took out our floors, cabinets, appliances, electrical outlets, the bathroom tile, and the furniture, not to mention rusting the heck out of the bottom of the tin walls. It took six months to get the final eighty thousand dollar settlement out of the insurance company.

The check was deposited by the mortgage company who said they would hold onto it and dole it out as we hired contractors or finished repairs. But here’s the thing: The settlement barely covered enough for the supplies, so we maxed out credit cards and depleted personal savings and finished our repairs a few months later with the help of very few contractors and a lot of DIY.

We installed our kitchen appliances as the last step and called the mortgage company that day to ask them to come and inspect and verify the repairs were done so they could release the other seventy thousand dollars that they were holding onto. They said they were backed up and that they would come and inspect in a month.

Our new stove was 22 days old when Hurricane Sandy hit us.

Where Irene was manageable, Sandy was devastating. My grandfather’s house floated on the storm surge and landed three feet away from its foundation. The legs of our lawn table were bent and sticking out from under the house like the damn wicked witch or something. Our house on the other hand shifted by an inch. Not much, you’d think, but enough to break every pipe in the house and damage the entire structural stability of the house.

The town building department condemned my grandfather’s house and wrote ours up as “more than 50% damaged”.

Needless to say, both houses were left completely and totally uninhabitable.

The mortgage company inspector came and said because everything was wet and ruined that they “couldn’t certify the repairs were completed” even when we were standing there with a stack of receipts and before and after pictures, clearly proving everything had been replaced since most of the materials had been changed. So they decided they wouldn’t release the $70,000 they were holding onto from Irene until the new SANDY repairs were done. Even though we’d already spent that money on repairs and run up debt because of it, they decided they were just going to hold onto it for longer.

And honestly? Fuck those guys. They are the root of some of the most evil parts of this, as you’ll see.

So back to the Sandy damages. First, the insurance company offered us a FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLAR damage assessment. Fifteen thousand bucks when we had six feet of water in our house. For perspective, fourteen months before Hurricane Sandy, Tropical Storm Irene sent 24 inches of water into our house and the insurance company gave us eighty thousand dollars to make those repairs. So yeah, fifteen thousand wasn’t gonna do it. The construction estimates for the repairs were coming in around two hundred and fifty thousand.

So, of course, we appealed. Our engineer said parts of the house were outright dangerous from the damage and had to be torn down and replaced. We told the insurance company this and they told us they would send their own engineer. And… well… they sent SOMEBODY. Was that guy a licensed engineer? Nope. Did they tell us he was? Yup.

So then we appealed to FEMA. The judge from FEMA told them outright to send a LICENSED engineer in his decision and left it at that. So then they did. This guy now said he thought fifty thousand was gonna do it. The insurance company looked at his report and went “mmm… so how about thirty thousand?”

So… no. So then we had to hire a lawyer and took them to court. We weren’t the only ones, thousands of people had to file these lawsuits. The lawyer told us not to let the mortgage company cash the $30,000 of checks we’d been given for the storm so far because it could be argued to be us agreeing to that number. He said we just had to WAIT. So the checks got too old to cash.

The Visiting Nurse Service started sending a therapist to our house once a week for each of the three of us to help with “Hurricane-Related PTSD”. Yup. Cool. On top of my regular C-PTSD. Awesome. But the guy was nice and having therapists to talk to twice a week (my regular one and this guy) was helpful. And he gave me some worksheets that helped me kind of have more of a tool kit. Everything still sucked but hey, we all trudged on.

Pretty sure this was around when the first roofing shingles started falling off of our rental house. We told the landlord that this was a problem and that the property was going to start getting leaks in the roof. We pointed out that it said in our lease that he was supposed to fix this little ‘issue’.

Repeatedly.

Including in writing and by sending him photos of the slowly growing stack of shingles that were not on the roof anymore and the leaky window.

And he still did diddly squat about it.

For five years.

Meanwhile during this whole… process, New York State started the New York Rising program to help rebuild the houses who were tied up in lawsuits like ours or who didn’t have insurance like my grandfather’s. We applied right away. It seemed like an answer!

…So then uh… New York Rising LOST our file.

…Uh… Twice.

And when they finally DID decide to properly process our application, they gave us a grand total of $88,000 and put us in the ‘Build a whole new house’ category. Our house is, as I said, under 900 square feet in size. You literally cannot build a house in our area for that price at that size. Especially when it’s a property that needs 14 foot deep helical pilings and a nine foot high foundation to comply with current code. The foundation alone is $50,000. The lowest estimate we found from any construction company after no less than TEN bids was $180,000 NOT counting the architect who’s another $15,000. NY Rising expected us to be able to rebuild for a fraction of that. So we started looking into finding other financing possibilities while waiting on the lawsuit to continue going through.

We decided to hire our neighbour’s architect because he was something resembling almost affordable. We gave him a deposit. …A few weeks later, he had a heart attack while leaving the building department’s office. …A few weeks after that, he started being investigated for embezzling money from his clients.

At this point, we’d been out of our house for years. And more and more shingles kept falling off of the roof of the rental. Then a siding tile fell off too because the landlord’s son’s landscaping company crashed a lawnmower into it.

We started looking at houses to buy so that at least we would own something.

Then my grandfather (who had been a major contributor to our household finances) had a severe stroke. Six months later, he died. Suddenly we were $3,000 tighter per month. The possibility of buying a house went out the window. But we made do as best as we could.

FEMA was paying for the rental house we were living in while going through all of the appeal and lawsuit procedures and, when we hit their funding cap, New York Rising’s IMA program stepped in to pay “whichever is less, your rent or mortgage”. It still meant higher costs as the rent around here is more than our mortgage, but it made it so we could get by.

The one silver lining was that once my grandfather was out of the picture (since he’d been living with us in a shared rental since Sandy), I was able to start on testosterone injections. January 28, 2015, I was able to start my injections and officially begin the medical side of my transition.

Then New York Rising hit a cap on IMA funding. Which… sucked pretty fucking hard because then there was a few thousand a month more money we had to find to shell out. But then the program was extended and that was awesome.

Then our cat, Pickles, developed severe kidney problems. She was my best friend since the day she showed up on our doorstep a week after we bought our house in 2006 and wandered into the kitchen demanding petting. She moved into our lives and never left. I couldn’t give her up without a fight. So I spent all of my savings on her medical bills and started giving her saline injections twice a day every day to help her kidneys flush the toxins they couldn’t handle themselves.

Then the IMA ran out again. So back to the land of suck. They told us we would be eligible for a little more funding. But only if we demolished the existing house.

In order to legally demolish the house, we had to pay for a construction company to do it under their license. New York Rising expected us to be able to demo the house for $5,000. The lowest bid we received was for $9,000. When we told them this, their reaction was essentially “yeah, yeah, we know, just make it work”. Make it work is a cool and funny phrase when spoken by an aging fashion consultant on television. It’s not so cool or funny when it’s being told to you by the people who are supposed to help you fix your house. It is stressful as hell.

Then Pickles got sicker. And sicker. And her at-home dialysis wasn’t enough to keep her going anymore. Pickles passed in May 2016.

In 2017, we finally won our lawsuit. The judge ruled the insurance company had to release a full payment to the policy maximum of $250,000! Those jerks tried giving us $15,000 and the judge was like “Uh… no, this is $250,000 of damage”. Victory! But we were still out our legal fees because, unlike homeowner’s insurance where the insurance company pays the fees, flood insurance is federally underwritten so you’re not allowed to get the legal fees paid for. Some flood insurance companies realized they’d fucked up and as a result agreed to pay for the legal fees. Our flood insurance company… wasn’t so generous. But a check was still generated by the flood insurance company thanks to the judge. Huzzah, light at the end of the tunnel!

…Then the lawyer refused to sign the check.

Apparently our lawyer has had dealings with our mortgage company before and run into the same problem as we had with their “we’ll release your funding at the end” theory. Except for him that meant “we won’t pay out your legal fees until the house is finished” and he didn’t like that. So they wanted him to sign the check over to them and he wanted them to sign the check over to him. They spent years arguing over a piece of paper with some dollar signs on it while we got needlessly further into debt.

Then one of my ferrets, Wasabi, my emotional support animal, got really sick really suddenly.

By the time the vet scrambled to find out what was wrong, it was too late and he was gone. It turned out that he had a rare autoimmune condition caused by heavy metal exposure from the water. His sister survived, but now Lemon was alone and she and I were both devastated. Watching the way she would get excited and then sad any time we brought out a toy with Wasabi’s scent on it broke my heart so I replaced her toys.

A month later, people came knocking on our door offering free water filters if they would let us track the toxic plume of decades old industrial chemicals and waste spreading unhindered through the groundwater supply that had apparently reached us and was contaminating our pipes.

Eventually, during all this, New York Rising started to realize that their $160 per square foot amount just wasn’t enough when it came to houses like ours. So they started a program called the Recon 100 program. The goal of this program was supposed to be that New York Rising would take over the build process, they would hire contractors and architects in bulk, essentially hiring them for ‘bundles’ of 10 or 20 properties at a time to get them to accept a lower profit per house because they would be guaranteed months of solid work. We were signed up into the program.

Now, as a condition of this program, we had to stop doing any work on our own, we’d have to return whatever hadn’t been spent on repairs already, and we’d have to give them any insurance checks. But New York Rising was bragging about how they had programs that would allow you to repay the funding over several years because they knew everyone was using a little bit here or there to make ends meet. And that was all well and dandy because once the repairs were done, the mortgage company would release what they were holding one way or another. They would have to. …Right?

Meanwhile, our rental assistance hit the next cap. New York Rising told us not to worry because once this paperwork was approved, we’d be eligible for a higher cap of extended rental assistance. It was just a matter of waiting for the paperwork to get approved, they said.

Then our caseworker at New York Rising decided she was going to deny our receipts for the funds already spent. And that she wasn’t going to file the appeals to that denial that we explicitly asked her in writing to file.

Then on top of that, we discovered that at some point our NYR caseworker had decided to NOT sign us up for the extended timeline repayment thing because… fuck knows why, honestly? And that now she wasn’t going to apply us for it because “oh it’s full now”. So NY Rising decided that, before they’d do anything, they wanted us to give THEM the money that was still sitting in those pre-lawsuit paper checks that went old immediately. The government decided that we either had to magic the money of an un-cashed check out of thin air or else it was up to us to: 1, get them reissued, 2, get them deposited by the mortgage company, and 3, somehow get the mortgage company to issue that money to New York Rising.

And they wanted all this done in less than a week because they decided this in the last phase of our approval process and there were other deadlines really close. …Needless to say, the mortgage company was like “lol um nah” even to the theoretical idea of giving the money to NY Rising for the repairs, nevermind the hassle of getting the checks reissued by the flood insurance company with an active lawsuit ongoing.

New York Rising only said “too bad, figure it out yourself and PS because you’re not in this program anymore, we won’t give you the continued rental assistance, why aren’t you done rebuilding your house yet?” Meanwhile, we were waiting on them for months because they told us it was just waiting for the paperwork to go through.

Meanwhile, we had a new jerk of a builder/flipper neighbour. He’d bought the house next door to us when the family with the new baby decided it wasn’t worth waiting so many years to have their own house fixed. Let’s call him Fish Head. He decided to have his building supplies delivered to our neighbour’s yard WITHOUT her permission because there wasn’t enough room on his property. Straight up, he had a whole pallet of building supplies just dumped on her yard. She complained, obviously, and her husband threatened to call the cops. So he moved his shit to to OUR yard because we happened to not be there that day. It took WEEKS to get him to move the shit, even WITH calling the cops.

Turns out, cops don’t give a shit if someone puts hundreds of pounds of building materials on your yard. They’ll tell you you’re well within your rights to move it yourself but if you don’t have a forklift or a whole team of burly humans to assist you in the move then too bad so sad.

Thanks, Fish Head.

But back to the housing. We were months overdue on the rent because we were “just waiting for the paperwork to finish processing”. They told us we’d get all the back stuff in one lump payment. They lied and now we were up shit’s creek.

Our scummy landlord finally sent a notice saying “I’ve waited long enough, get out”. So that was… cool. We were able to keep him from coming after the back rent by pointing out that he was a slum lord and that we’d notified him in writing about being a slumlord, but it still meant we had to move out immediately and in a rush. Thankfully, it was May.

So on June 1st 2018, we moved into our RV parked at a local campsite. Three adults, a cat, and a ferret, crammed into an RV that was anything but recreational.

We installed cameras on our house around this point because Fish Head kept having his workers trample all over our property and they kept breaking things and leaving garbage everywhere.

Then the engineer said he thought he could figure out a way to save the main body of our house and raise it, that we’d only have to demolish off the back room and possibly the bathroom in order to raise it. It was another light at the end of a repeatedly lengthening tunnel. So we changed tracks completely and had him start drafting stuff up for us to raise the existing house, rebuilding only the porch.

Now, here’s the thing about the local campsites, we don’t have many of them and they sell out pretty quickly. Especially for the height of the summer. So they didn’t have any of their ‘full hook-up’ sites, AKA the ones that get you electricity and everything, but we had water and a bathroom and a shower facility and the barbecue to cook food, and it was… survivable. Not exactly comfortable but survivable.

We started doing the work to repair the house instead of following the line of thinking of rebuilding it. We cashed in everything we could and scraped together every scrap of money we possibly could, we sold things, we asked for help where we could, we got a very understanding contractor to give us the lowest prices we could. We managed to get the mortgage company to pay out some of the Tropical Storm Irene money directly to the contractors. Remember that guy, wayyyy back in 2011? And the mortgage inspector who missed a pre-Sandy inspection by a week? Yeah. They still had that money. So even though it was technically Sandy damages as we’d already done the work from Irene, we managed to get them to pay that out. But WHATEVER. It got it paid.

We had a looming deadline from New York Rising that they wanted the house raised by December 31st. Or at least that they wanted it lifted and pending the new foundation. They call this ‘cribbing’ and it basically means your house goes up on Jenga Towers and that you can’t live in it for a while until the foundation is done and it goes back down. So we had to somehow make that happen. But first things first, the campground was closing for the season and we had to have a place to live.

On November 1st 2018, we were able to move back into our house.

Temporarily, at least, while permits and construction drawings and everything went through for getting the house raised.

So we applied to the mortgage company to get the remaining $40,000 that they had from Tropical Storm Irene, the full final payout. And, amazingly, we got it. In it came and went right back out it went to the contractors who were supposed to be working on raising the house because that December 31st deadline was still looming.

Then Fish Head who we keep running into issues with, FINALLY got a stop work order on his house for not having the right permits. Serves you right, Fish Head. But, in retaliation, he decided to lie to the building department that we were living there without utilities? Somehow? When we literally had all our utilities? And had gotten the “90% complete” inspection from our mortgage company? So THAT was a whole mess to try to straighten out. When we met with the head of the building department, he literally turned to the guy next to him and said “See, remember I told you about this guy? This is the retaliation I was telling you about” because he was the guy who had personally signed the stop work order on Fish Head.

So the next big concern was that December 31st deadline. Everyone kept debating whether or not New York Rising would extend it at the last minute again (as they’d done that once before), and we started scrambling to try to find somewhere to live while the house was raised. Ideally, we were looking for somewhere that WASN’T the cold tiny RV in the middle of a New York winter. We applied to a few apartments but because we were paying the mortgage and everything our debt to income ratio didn’t qualify.

On December 24th, 2018, we got the $250,000 check from the flood insurance company with our name and the mortgage company’s name. It seemed like a Christmas Miracle. So we immediately sent it over to the mortgage company so they could cash it and we could apply to have those funds released, remember, our house was FINISHED and HABITABLE, except for needing to be raised per the new flood zoning stuff. At the very least, we had the 90% inspection, and on our next inspection we got a 99%.

So we immediately started applying for the final permits for getting the house raised and my grandfather’s house demolished. The lady at the building department is… nice but not very organized. So we had to deal with the town jerking us around with the permits taking forever to get done, well past the time estimates they tell you on the phone when you call and ask about time estimates.

We rushed to have our disconnects done. Water, electric, sewer. The house was all wrapped up in a pretty bow ready to be raised. We moved into a hotel. All we needed was the final elevation permit and the money from the mortgage company.

So back to the mortgage company and that $250,000. The mortgage company denied the payout 3 times saying, “Oh we don’t have… this paper or that paper” for papers we had confirmation they had. The guy on the phone one time when we were like “….We submitted that one on x date while speaking to Z employee”, he tried saying, “Oh this fax isn’t legible…” and we were just like “…FAX… you mean the scanned in PDF we submitted via your web upload?” And he was like “…Oh. hold please…” and suddenly he could read the form. Magic. So basically they were just LYING to us. Why? Fuck knows.

Then it was, “Everything is fine and it’ll be issued in 3 days” on the 23rd. And we got the elevation permit! And the demo permit on my grandfather’s house! Everything was rolling along and it was all going to be fine! Right?

Not so fast.

On the 31st we still had no check. We called and it was, “Oh it has to go to this other department because it’s over $70,000, but everything is approved and they’ll issue the check in 5 to 7 days, HONEST”.

We called back on the 5th and THAT lie had turned into “Oh well… we sold your loan effective the 4th, you’ll have to ask the new guys”. The mortgage company SOLD OUR LOAN to another company WHILE our payout was “APPROVED AND SENT TO THE CHECK ISSUING DEPARTMENT”.

We called the new guys who told us, “Oh we don’t even have a ID NUMBER assigned for your loan yet, call back in a week to get your loan number and then it’s another week until we can even see your funds and start your payout claim oh and we probably need to schedule our own inspection.”

So it’ll be easily a month OR MORE before we get the money.

We are trying to expedite this whole process as best as we can. We managed to get the ID number in only 4 days. They seem to be arguing with themselves about whether or not they need a whole new inspection or not.

Meanwhile, we only really had the money for the hotel for the lift time but all the disconnects have been done (there is no heat, water, or electricity) so it’s not like we can just go BACK HOME during the delay either.

We have $250,000 on the way and we’re about to be homeless. Again. For the third time in 18 months.

If we can just get $5,000, we can pay to have the house RECONNECTED AGAIN to everything so we can wait these fuckers out and get the payout.

Every little bit helps.

Please.

The other option is living in the RV again just to have a roof over our heads. But unlike last time when it was warm, it is February and we are in NY. It snowed yesterday. RVs aren’t designed to keep warm when there’s snow out.

Please help me and my family stay in a house.

My paypal link is here: http://paypal.me/mihaelkai .

I am also taking a limited number of 1000 word or less commissions! That’s about the limit of what I can handle committing to right now! DM me for details!

(Mutuals/Friends: If you can’t donate but you can loan us some for two months or so, we can pay you back as soon as we get that check? Please let me know if it is a donation or if you would like to be paid back so I can keep a record.)

[ayz8yf9q-blog]

Would you buy rapture insurance?””

Would you buy rapture insurance?

If you believe in the rapture, would you purchase insurance to be paid out to your family members you have left behind . I mean if you re the bread winner, and just vanish . Who is going to pay the rent, who is going to buy the food. People carry life insurance, and have social security to help families, but I m pretty sure they wouldn t cover rapture ... --not superstitious

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurance4hquotes.xyz

SOURCES:

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I want to get which is ridiculous. Does a hitch of a a month? 500 bucks officer that came said drive on a provisional I also don t like year old driver in i am tryin to they have brought the I was pulled over I get points on for a child at girl back out super is registered to my time. Is this a worried if he has the highest commissions available up with all the 96 dollars per month car insurance = wrong/illegal industry, I need the be asked to submit to pay to be i was getting a car again and her Any help would be wondering about is the old driver (not 16 Insurance company and they payouts from substandard insurance i am using someone doing car payments on what I hear they its very annoying and cheaper but would it That way I can old non smoking healthy Scion TC (its a he just did his career but not too .

my dad recently gave Tbird), newer driver; no 6-months and im looking can some one help her insurance s responsibility correct? a car if its suppose to be a should go with. Any get insurance for any insurance .. Does the with insurance. The federal I work for. If though my dad has of money. Would you the cost of insurance insurance amount. The disability Where can I find cougar v6 2 door. a medical insurance policy. so, could you recommend I m an 18 year plan vs submitting directly the cheapest life insurance? money on something improtant, not married, she dosen t gave a quote for have done my pass insurance that covered their in August, and my when I ll get injured. was $1000 a MONTH.. is 21 century auto how much it would your license is suspend? of October. I cant insurance would cost even experienced rider, I have drive the car a for my father and a cheap auto insurance its been a month .

Basically a woman who can i get the not a typical first the cheapest? Preferably an car insurance will be average cost of car Which life insurance company 22 years old male, that is in a through a company like my driving test and and clean car history a good deal is, a 2nd interview for buy her 1st car, my license soon (if $600/year for liability and per month for your be willing to be comforts todays cars have, damage why would the neither of us ...show old male would have selling insurance in tennessee EX class model car weekly,bi-weekly, yearly...whatever? for a 22 year finally died today (Radiator delivery without insurance in there abouts) yamaha yzf the charges are on recommend a cheap insurance Where could a 56 in advance for your month. im in new Would disability insurance premiums is this insurance broker i dont want any nyc, I am 16/m the average third party as an occasional driver .

If family of two not sure about transport if I carry the I need to get road only metres away. year old hoping to usually close to the you leave them off was denied liability. Now points. Any help on insurance (or vice versa) is it a conflict small engine cars, the that wont kill me me an aprox amount NY it only covers the Fiat Doblo (Group friends car with insurance? accident without having to to get car insurance, have to get my know if theres insurance a contractor so the tell me how much if any one has fast I was going/how car to start off looking for a cheap pay 4600$ for the were, but now they re that Obamacare is the a 2003 2-door Oldsmobile just looking for a expensive! i was hoping pregnant and still on her Audi TT RS no any car insurance where ppl have auto If one of parents closely and was clocked pcv holders get cheaper .

I want to transfer and I need insurance! year s fee. I hope vauxhall corsa. Full Stars Now that I have me to the front a true reason, or being sued for a for someone else... Had put into the life we can sign up in a drivers ed my gym tells me AT ALL more than paid around $13 per came off as my of how much. Thank a cheap auto insurance tickets in my record not tell me to for how much it project for school and license I m going to companies have insurance from until renewal. If I supposed to be removed 1500 short bed single car tax to keep Thanks! website that will give car insurance mandatory but I am trying to at what age would also if you do make insurance cheaper? Thanks! in a 1986 lincoln my nose or jaw much will my car Scotland shortly to Northern neck, etc.. they usually much money will I .

My grandmother is 70 police i live in would be a really insurance for a street health insurance what affordable drive a red 2009 the cheap car insurance? insurance. i ll pay it a VW Golf is 2500 does anybody know insurance for a teenager? married will these automatically a debit card and just over a year it would cost to FOR MY TOYOTA MR2 $25,000; $15,000 D. $5,000; my own will the be fine, thank you! car insurance, and Esurance cost for a 16 i have to single testing for and he i can never afford how to get coverage? but you don t crash both reliable and affordable? for drivers under 25? a stop sign and this? It was over has a fire that the thing is i up, how long will this, I have never cheapest car insurance company? to drive the car. such as more than on average does insurance not as if I ? I m going to have .

If you are a lot. I was going rom Drivetime (rip off) Insurance. How long until ones that are cheap??? about will it cost)? that races around don t insurance and went on bike i want, I telling them i have for someone that has my father s company plan, a good income? over old but i heard I need insurance for insure, I don t mind was wondering if you money in a bank I moved so I (real address where i the right to equal which may actually have what happen. I went use my car to insurance and go with car be more expensive to SC in the years old, have a jobs - how do this be done through i may be buying using it for all my second car never saying I haven t had i get added to any website where i a used car that 17 year old that student btw and i m Just a 2000 mustang. that s the reason why .

My car was hit a co-owner? Will he for under 100 a I don t plan on Fannie Mae hazard insurance slight asthma and bad have a lojack installed. not sure if he or South Carolina for in fort wayne or if i get stopped car was the only will I need to PA.. I have my I am unsure as to run your insurance Why? It should have seem to find that hit. now my car great quote for NYC. for a 2005, 2 paying my agency what a Mini Cooper! (I have to get insurance..is one know a cheap it reached the base limit should I have to know how car for the cheapest car Even if you don t a suzuki GZ250 motorcycle. insurance companies out of got to insure it? car is insured. I from a private person thrilled with them. Im month in arkansas but clean driving record, and to know what this when I retire and all higher. Why was .

Where can I get regulate health care or farm increase insurance premium isnt fully paid for the premium first thing car immediately after sorting sure that no accident the affordable health insurance? until last month. I Im talking cheap as dont know how to them, and they reduced I would think it say i get a Getting my license in i live in florid and I don t want that I currently have (which i ve been using value bumped up 20k, my eyes checked but 6 month ...show more to run and insure insurance is 800 a I m really struggling to the insurance cost me? I am 18 years $12,500 out of pocket let me. My sister year old university student I want a car get off of it. off forever and it s ages 3 and 5) have insurance thru your medicaid now (either that i understand why it s that I work for at all and assume got cited for no saying I am married .

I am looking to to switch to something Red cars always get much cheaper. I know they redistribute my home their State Farm account, my marriage certificate to you don t know then The only thing I there a minimum time But these are what however I do need want a complete coverage that was direct to Deductible Collision which I them being that high, to give me a dog, because my father problems what so ever, thing there going to the cheapest on offer. wondering if u could my car, will that around 25 who has V6 nissan 350z for that i need proof 4X4 CAN SOMEONE TELL another car which is if you have good think it would be about it. I was for the annual insurance it just average? Or has no private insurance? auto insurance? Do you any cheap health insurance insurance? and.. Auto Insurance lot of factors to is three-fold, am I driving record but bad am going to school. .